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ixiot-ghostrebel · 5 months ago

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Get ready for my ✨️Palace of Alcazarzaray✨️:🎉

So... Almighty Creator of Teyvat Reader. We all know that the original inhabitants of Teyvat are dragons, so that means, Almighty Dragon!Creator.

Almighty Dragon!Creator who has a rivalry/resentment/tense relationship when it comes to The Primordial One because of their shades.

Almighty Dragon!Creator who thinks of the original Dragon sovereigns as their children.

Almighty Dragon!Creator who stays and watches over Teyvat, slowly their resentment lessens(even if they stay bitter because their children's powers were taken by outlanders) as they watch their teyvat, their teyvat, get more lush and green and just. Their teyvat becomes full of life and wonder.

Almighty Dragon!Creator who watches Khaenri'ah's fall in solemn silence, who looks at the children of stars in pity. Yet they are not their domain, so they cannot help(or can they).

Almighty Dragon!Creator who watches the traveler's journey, who finds intrigue in the silver companion who looks oh so similar to the Primordial One.

Almighty Dragon!Creator who watches the traveller go through nations, who watches them help Their Children. Who cannot help buy beam at this outlander who helps their children(even if one is still dead(orobashi), even if one will never get his power back(dvalin), even if one has shattered in two and has lost himself(azdaha), and even if one lost theirself to madness(apep), one gets his power back(Neuvillette) and they are so happy for him.)

All I'm saying is: Almighty Dragon!Creator who gets attached to both the Traveller, but also who gets attached to Paimon because of her relation to the Primordial God in some way or another.

Oh and Neuvillette Fluff with them.

- Starboy Anon

Wowie, Starboy Anon! This is a lot of info!

Not saying it's bad (I loredump as heavy as this when it comes to my own stuff), but I certainly have too many headcanons for your headcanons to write a Sagau!Character x Creator!Reader request!

Starboy Anon you have NO IDEA how much I am of a sucker for Azhdaha and Dvalin. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW DID YOU FIND MY HIDDEN WEAKNESSES—

I care very little about the Shining Shades and the Primordial One, so apologies for skipping over them in this headcanon request!

Headcanons: Primordial Dragon Reader—All Shall Bow and Respect Thee As They...Uh...

(Warning: Might Be OOC!)

Alright, pretending that Reader had ZERO RESTRICTIONS on what they can do NOW...Allow this idiotic Ghost Rebel to demonstrate their favoritism benevolence:

Dvalin Headcanons:

Reader absolutely adores Dvalin to bits. You Cannot tell me otherwise. They will literally give this dragon the world if they could.

Reader would definitely give them a human form if Dvalin ever wished to use it to mingle with the mortals in Mondstadt—In fact, Reader would be their tour guide (I have zero references of how Dvalin's mortal form would look like, but I imagine it'd look like a playable character skin—in other words, a very cool one)

I like to imagine that Dvalin loves music so much, he digs into Monstadt's traditional music and begs Reader to have Venti (or another bard) play the tune he finds.

Reader would definitely be the overprotective parent that absolutely hates it when others try to flirt with their children. Dvalin is clueless to these flirtatious attempts, so Reader is helicopter parenting so hard rn LOL

FLOWER CROWNS OMG. I imagine Dvalin would love those! Reader is going to indulge them with so many of them! Even better if Dvalin makes friends (obviously with the Traveler, Paimon, and Venti—those guys are naturally invited)

Reader would let Dvalin try any cuisine, but if it's anything related to alcohol, Reader is definitely going to make sure they are a) not spiked, and b) Dvalin takes a very little amount of it.

Reader's the kind of parent to see their child get a scratch on their skin and freak out and treat it like it's a very bad wound. I think you know where this is going.

Oh, and you know the Abyss Order that kind of manipulated Dvalin? No, you don't—because they no longer exist :)

Would definitely fly with Dvalin in their dragon form, or in their human-dragon form. Whichever Dvalin likes, Reader will follow suit!

Azhdaha Headcanons:

MY DRAGON BOYYYY LETS GOOOO *Aggressive Truck Noises Because Ghost Rebel Can't be Biased—*

Ahem, anyways. Considering that Azhdaha has a bit of something akin to dissociative identity disorder, Reader definitely treats the guy with extra care, opting to entertain both of Azhdaha's "personalities."

Yes, Reader fixes the erosion and memory problem. Yes, Reader gave them a new dragon body that is not purely made out of rock so that it doesn't erode too quickly. Yes, they also gave their child a human form (yk in Zhongli's story quest, Azhdaha took two appearances? Forget those two merging together—just take the color palette off of Azhdaha's dragon form and make something >:) I like to imagine a part of his hair or his eyes glows a certain color depending on the element he's wielding in his human form)

Reader shows them around all of Liyue, considering Azhdaha never really had the chance to see it properly. I like to think Azhdaha would listen to every single piece of information given to them like a sponge in water. Anything that's new or interesting to this guy, he is not backing down from it.

Now, I know the million dollar question: Does Azhdaha get scammed like Zhongli? No, because Reader is always there glaring at merchants that dare try to mess with their children in any way possible. They're also there, telling their child all about commerce and the ways of the trade—something that Azhdaha is into considering mining and ores are technically also in the business industry.

You know the guy that got blessed by Azhdaha, who can now see if rocks are valuable ores or not? Yes, believe it or not, but I believe Azhdaha would 100% check up on the mortal despite being completely tsundere and in denial about it.

HIKING! I think Azhdaha would like to have the mobility to hike—after all, in his dragon form, he's kind of the hefty and large side, so he can't exactly move fast or be nimble. I think he'd really like this change of pace!

Apep Headcanons

No huma form. She refuses to be compared to or even look like mortals. That is something Reader respects.

Technically Reader's eldest child so far. Reader kind of spoils them with loads of things only they can now make for Apep—maybe like flowers, or certain foods, etc. etc.

I like to imagine Apep secretly loves private affection. Reader giving Apep so many dragon hugs, or cuddles, or head pats. Reader spoiling them with literally anything they got lol—

Unfortunately, there's not much I can write for Apep :') There isn't enough lore for me to write on for them....

Neuvillette Headcanons

Reader 100% indulges him in his hobbies of tasting every bit of water.

Fusses over him because he's the Iudex and Reader practically almost curses out Focalors for giving their child such a demanding task, but also thanks her for showing him the ways of mortals yk. Love-Hate relationship.

Reader would bring him certain foods once they figured out what kind of mortal foods he likes.

Melusines? THEY BOTH LOVE THEM, THEY ARE NOW CREATOR'S GRANDCHILDREN (if I remember the lore correctly, I'm pretty sure they are considering they were born from a dragon??)

Reader looks out for Furina whenever they can because Neuvillette is truly Furina's #1 Fan bro—but only because Reader loves Neuvillette and doesn't want him to stress himself out.

THEY WILL KEEP THE SOUP LADLE (yk from that one Lantern Rite event? Neuvillette made a soup ladle in a theme of a dragon?) Anything Neuvillette will make, Reader is KEEPING IT in their DRAGON HOARD.

And that's all I have! Hope you find this good, Starboy Anon! :)

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: It's been so long since I wrote headcanons! This was a LOT LONGER than I thought it'd be LOLL. Hope you all enjoyed it though! :)

Seeing as we're close to 1000 Followers, I might be posting a follower event very soon 👀 Hopefully I won't die immediately once I post it! (If Tumblr eats your request, I am leaving) Anyways—I'll see you all next time! >:D

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin self aware #sagau x reader #sagau #sagau genshin #yandere sagau #genshin cult au #sagau brainrot #sagau cult au #sagau dvalin #sagau azhdaha #sagau neuvillette #sagau apep

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jointherebellion215 · 8 months ago

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His Kiss, The Riot

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x female!reader

Summary: When you and your secret lover make plain to Feyd-Rautha your wishes for a life together, despite the proposed arranged marriage, he surprisingly acquiesces. But he can't let you go so easily, can he? Loosely based on the song from Hadestown.

Word Count: 1.6k

TW: manipulation, Dark!Feyd-Rautha, arranged marriage, NONCON elements, gore, violence, she/her pronouns, female!reader, tragedy, star-crossed lovers, songfic, not quite a happy ending (oops), dark dark dark interpretations of Hadestown and the story of Orpheus and Eurydice.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who read If It's True and liked, reblogged, or commented. I appreciate every single one of you. As always, I would love some feedback, likes, comments, and reblogs if you can :)

This is Part Two to my Feydestown trilogy (I'm so sorry for the pun). You can read Part One here.

AO3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dune properties, characters, or storylines-- nor do I own anything related to Hadestown. The images used in this are not my own, and any similarities to stories or events other than what are directly referenced are strictly coincidence.

The devil takes this Orpheus

And his belladonna kiss

“So you wanna get married? Take away the woman I just offered my hand to, to whom I all but have legal claim?”

Your beloved’s replied words of affirmation to his words hold the slightest tremor, but like a dog to fresh meat, Feyd-Rautha sniffs this out immediately. Another smile graces his face. Feyd speaks to the crowd now, “Yes, I was promised the Lady’s hand in marriage. But! I am a benevolent figure, so I guess I’ll let the lovebirds go.”

The crowd starts to give polite applause, while your knees grow weak at the news. You can go? Has love really prevailed on this day?

“However,” and with that, your heart drops “I have some conditions for these… nuptials.”

You could sense the air growing thick with tension as the reality of the na-Baron’s ruling twists out of your favor.

“Conditions?” You whispered.

“Of course, my darling! I can’t make this too easy on you, now can I?” Feyd paces back and forth on the steps from which he speaks, making your eyes dart back and forth with each step he takes. Vigilance overtakes your body in case of any rash decisions.

“You two can leave the city, but it won’t be hand in hand. This pair will have to walk in single file, with the boy in the front and my darling Lady at least thirty paces behind. No ships, no speeders, no running. Walking.”

The energy of the room starts to grow more electric as the points of this term seem to set in.

“The Lady cannot speak out or make any indication of her following behind. You’ll be faced forward the whole journey. Once you reach the edge of the city and passed the threshold, you can be together for eternity.”

Your breath hitched. Seems easy enough, right?

“But, if the boy so much as turns his head to check and see if the Lady is following, the deal is off. She’ll return to me, and we will be married.”

Nothing makes a man so bold

As a woman’s smile and a hand to hold

“Is this a trick?” Your beloved asks plainly.

Feyd tilts his head, pacing down the steps to ground level. “Now, what makes you say that? I’m being generous. I’ve set my terms.” He is now nose-to-nose with the man attached to you.

“Now meet them or face the consequences.”

The hand holding yours is now pooled with sweat. You quickly and subtly jerk the arm of your beloved when he starts to protest, not recognizing a gift when he sees one. You bow, the picture of poise and grace that you were raised to be. There is still time to leave with all of your limbs intact, you could not afford to slip up now.

“We offer our most sincere gratitude, my Lord na-Baron. Thank you for this most auspicious opportunity. We will not squander it.”

Your beloved gives a clumsy bow to match yours. Feyd’s manic smile grows as he clasps his hands together. The sound echoes through the hall.

“So it shall begin!”

But all alone his blood runs thin

And doubt—doubt comes in

The pair of you hold hands, side-by-side, at the entrance of the palace gates. A crowd has followed you to the edge, with onlookers from the outside spectating the unexpected appearance of a noble. Occurrences like this did not happen often, if ever.

“You heard the terms. The Lady must walk thirty steps behind. She must not speak to you.” Your hands reluctantly separate, following the orders you were given. You can feel your heart pounding with each step that you take away from each other.

“Some of my guard will accompany you, to ensure that you comply to the letter.” Four Harkonnen warriors step forward and encase you in a square formation, leaving the love of your life alone and vulnerable. He looks back towards you, fear and doubt creeping into his eyes. You nodded at him, believing that you could succeed in your task. That you would prevail.

“You may begin.” Feyd voices, and with that—you start your journey. Step by step, you walk further through the foliage that immediately surrounds the castle gates and into the city square.

Once you and your beloved reach the horizon, Feyd turns to walk past the crowd and back into the corridor.

Your father, the Duke, bows quickly and offers his gratitude, but is ignored as the younger Harkonnen goes to gather his blade and shield. With a yell, he summons his guards to formation. As Feyd checks the integrity of his weapon, one of the Baron’s advisors tentatively steps towards him.

“My Lord, perhaps you should consider letting them go—” In the blink of an eye, the man is silenced with a swift slash to the throat. Blood spills through the advisor’s hands as he struggles to put pressure on the opening. His body flops to the floor and Feyd carelessly steps over the writhing body to march forward.

“Let’s go fetch my bride.”

Dangerous this jack of hearts

It had been almost an hour of walking by this point. There had been almost a dozen times where you wanted to give any audible indication to your lover that you were here. A whisper, a whistle, a stomp of your foot. Anything. But now you could see the edge of the city, you could almost taste it.

A life with your love was within reach.

The guards accompanying you shifted inward, almost boxing you in. You were hopeful, but nerves were creeping in.

This was going well. Too well.

The grand arch signifying the edge of the city was above your lover now. The field that you used to meet at in secret lay just beyond it. You’re almost there. Just twenty more steps and you could be together, forever.

He steps over the threshold, you see his shoulders lift and fall in an exhale. Then, the man you had fallen in love with— who you wholly believe in— slowly turns his head to lock eyes with you. A pale figure steps out from behind a pillar accompanying the arch.

The growing smile on your face immediately falls. You call out his name.

Oh no.

The na-Baron tsked and shook his head, as if scolding a child. Harkonnen troops flanked the area, giving Feyd-Rautha enough berth to have his fun. The three of you were surrounded, but only one really had the advantage.

“You were so close!”

Your beloved held out a hand, “Wait, wait! I made it over!” He started to back away in fear, unarmed and exhausted from the long walk. Colorful, ripe foliage brushed his legs as he back into your field.

“Ah, but she didn’t. So, face the consequences.”

Then his blade pierced the man you love.

Your ears started to ring, throat working itself raw as you wailed. Tears blurred your vision, you could hear the gurgles of the blood leaving your fiancé’s mouth and the slosh of his newly disemboweled entrails hitting the lush field before you.

With his kiss, the riot starts

His body made a sick thud on the floor, and your body jumped along with it.

You ran towards your dead lover, cradling his face and sobbing for the soul that was just ripped away from you. He didn’t deserve such a violent end. His only crime was loving you and being loved in return.

A chuckle sounded from above you, and you turned your tear-stained face to the brutal Harkonnen. He was covered in the blood of your lover, his spoils of war staining his pale skin. Black teeth on full display, his shoulders gave a slight shake as he expressed his humor. His laughter sparked a rage in you like you’d never seen before. It didn’t matter what bonds you may or may not have formed over the conversations you had the last week. He’s a monster. He needs to pay for what he’s done.

Red flooded your vision.

With a roar, you lunged for the man. His laugh grew more manic as you smacked, punched, kicked, and hit every visible part of him that you could identify. In your grief, every ounce of training that you received flew out the window. He took every blow with a smile, as if he enjoyed the punishment you were attempting to bestow on him.

“There we go, my darling. Show me your pain. Your rage!”

Your mind started to clear with the more hits you landed. With a quick swipe, you had the weapon that killed your beloved against the naBaron’s neck. The Harkonnen soldiers immediately stepped forward, but Feyd stopped them with a wave of his arm.

“Ah ah ah! Leave her be.” His grin almost split his face in half, specks of dried blood making a painting of his face.

“Do it. Go ahead, come on.”

He pressed his neck forward, purposefully putting pressure on his own blade. Fresh blood started to trickle down his neck, adding to the gallons already spread all over his uniform.

The shock of his willingness to put his life on the line made you hesitate, which made him cackle in your face. Your anger made you draw the blade back and slice it across his chest. A groan left Feyd’s mouth,

“Good girl.”

An unexpected thunk to the head made your vision start to spin. Feyd’s arms braced around you, slowly lowering you to your knees and down to a lying position. He cradled your head as if you were a precious commodity, when he leaned forward and captured your limp lips with his.

As black started swallowing your vision, you heard him say,

“Don’t worry, my darling bride. It’ll all be alright. You won’t feel a thing.”

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rolanpilled · 1 year ago

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Why I Fell In Love With Rolan, A Character Analysis

I will be going through Rolan's lines, along with the devnotes, to try and explain my interpretation of his character.

This is coming from having spent 30+ hours combing through his dialogues, reading all of his books, listening to every voice line for context, and replaying every scene of his that's currently accessible.

TW: Mentions of abuse, family death, implied suicide

Very long post under cut. Get the Arabellan Dry out!

A few notes before getting into this:

In the game files, Rolan is referred to as "Prodigy", while Cal and Lia are referred to as "ProdigyBrother" and "ProdigySister".

Rolan is a character whose outer words and inner thoughts often do not align - for most of the game, he refuses to show vulnerability in front of Tav, reserving his softness for his siblings. This can be interpreted in a number of ways, ranging from a self-confidence issue to an avoidant attachment style. Though people are free to have their own interpretations, I will mainly be focusing on my own readings of his personality.

I am not a psychologist or a licensed health professional, but I have personal experiences with the mental health disorders I will reference in this post, and I have done a lot of research on the topics involved.

Part 1 - Elturel, and Rolan's past

"Rolan. Just... Rolan."

There isn't much you can tell about Rolan's life except that he's from Elturel and that Cal and Lia are his siblings - after all, he doesn't give you much info in the first place. He doesn't know you, he doesn't trust you. Why would he?

The information you get about his family and his life before BG3 come from minor dialogues, and using Speak With Dead on his corpse. The picture they paint isn't a happy one.

[Player: What's your name?]

[Rolan: Rolan. Just... Rolan.]

[Player: Do you have any family?]

[Rolan: No... family... no one.]

[Player: No family? What about Lia and Cal?]

[Rolan: They are... brother and sister. Cal says... I am family, but...]

Rolan doesn't have a family name. We don't know if Lia and Cal do, but it can be assumed they don't, else he might have taken theirs. The first thing that sticks out to me in this dialogue is that he doesn't consider himself to have a family, even though Cal and Lia say he's part of theirs.

The question is, what could have caused this? If his blood family was simply dead, wouldn't he refer to them as "dead" or "gone"? Instead he says he has "no one" and "no family", perhaps implying that his parents just... abandoned him. Either way, it gives the impression that he has issues with being abandoned, and may project a sense of toughness and arrogance to make up for his insecurity.

And there IS insecurity here - he outright says that Cal and Lia tell him that he's no different from family to them, but deep down, he doesn't seem to be able to accept it. That he can only reveal this information to you after death, having been so guarded in life, is heartbreaking.

As for his life in Elturel, not much is said, but a lot can be inferred from his attitude.

[Cal: Elturel was the last time the three of us talked like this. Let's hope it lasts until Baldur's Gate.]

After leaving Elturel, it appears Rolan, Cal, and Lia didn't have much time to talk. This is from the party scene - a scene where they're drinking, laughing, and joking amongst each other. Clearly the journey hasn't been the easiest for all of them, though one thing we can take from this dialogue is that they've had this friendly, sibling-like relationship for a long time.

From what we know of Elturel and the Descent, things were NOT pretty down in Avernus. Many people died, and after the city was returned to the surface, tieflings were driven out of the city, as we all know. Something important to think about is how exactly this might have gone for the three siblings: how exactly they ended up in the Grove, travelling with the refugees. The context seems to imply that the siblings were travelling on their own, not necessarily considered a part of the group, but this is debatable and not entirely clear.

So what brought them to Baldur's Gate? What finally drove them out of the city? Did they leave before things got worse, or were they driven from their homes with stones and violence? It could really be anything, but the one thing that's clear is that their primary reason for heading to Baldur's Gate is for Rolan to start his apprenticeship with Lorroakan.

We know that Rolan wrote Lorroakan a letter: multiple letters, actually. We're not sure if he wrote to other wizards, but from his dialogue, you can tell that Lorroakan's been someone he's respected for a long time, both for his magical skills and his political beliefs. Though he's never met Lorroakan, you can find a copy of Lorroakan's biography on his desk at Sorcerous Sundries - there's an admiration established early on, and the player is led to believe that Lorroakan is a powerful wizard (though if you bring Gale with you, he comments on Lorroakan's shady reputation, hinting at something darker beneath the surface).

What could have driven Rolan to write so far away, seeking apprenticeship? Was it out of a sense of desperation, wanting to leave the city but needing a way to take care of his siblings? Was it curiosity? A sense that Lorroakan might be his last chance to make something of himself after being denied what he felt like was his rightful destiny? As a tiefling, he must have faced some discrimination for his heritage - I can speak to my own experience here, growing up as a person of color in a majority-white community was genuinely traumatizing to myself and my non-white friends. Not only do we receive open bullying and ostracization for our appearance, there's something even more insidious that often happens to minority populations - neglect. A general disinterest in our accomplishments, a lack of encouragement and attention towards kids that don't fit the norm. If this was something Rolan had to experience, it's no wonder he felt angry and eager to prove himself. He's been neglected his all his life, and he finally has a chance to show everyone who doubted him that he really does have the potential to be a great wizard.

Rolan himself appears to be in his mid- to late- twenties, bringing up the question of what he's been doing his entire life if not magic. It's mentioned that he was able to conjure a flaming cat from when Cal was as young as 8, so depending on the age difference between the siblings, Rolan might have known magic from a very early age. So why, then, is he a mere wizard apprentice at the start of the game? He's surely had a lot of time to learn himself.

[Lia: Try not to get too close, Cal.]

[Rolan: Yes. Remember what happened last time?]

[Cal: I was eight and you magicked up a kitten. How was I supposed to know it was made of fire?]

What could have happened along the way? He might have just not found the time or the opportunity to be able to study, especially as a tiefling without a family or the money to pay for an education. In my interpretation, Rolan carries a lot of unvoiced shame for not having been able to "fulfill his destiny" until now. He projects an outward mask of confidence and arrogance to hide his vulnerability, his insecurities - that his family isn't really his family, and that he isn't really destined for greatness. His natural reaction to vulnerability is anger and denial, which we'll explore more in the later sections.

(It is mentioned in the devnotes, though, that Rolan "has truly worked his ass off to get here". Prodigy is not an ironic title - he's likely had to self-study to the point where Lorroakan felt that he had potential. He has a right to be confident, but it doesn't negate any potential feelings of unworthiness.)

Additional info - Rolan, Cal, and Lia, on top of having known each other since Cal was 8, also share a mother figure, who is deceased. There is no mention of a father. It could be that this was Lia and Cal's actual mother, who took Rolan in, or a number of other possibilities - it could be that ROLAN'S mother took the three in, or that she just happened to be an unrelated woman who adopted three orphans.

[Cal: We should have a little party when we reach the city, like we did for mum.]

[Rolan: That 'little party' lasted from sundown to sunrise. Lia would like that.]

This dialogue can only be accessed if Lia dies but Cal and Rolan live.

So we've set up a few key details about Rolan's personality: his arrogance may harbor hints of insecurity or desperation, he has issues with feeling abandoned or neglected, and he's potentially been denied his chance to learn magic in the past. We will explore these in detail in the next few sections, along with another troubling tendency of his - perfectionism, and the self-blame that comes with it.

Part 2 - The Grove

"I'll not gamble our lives, our futures, for people who are as good as dead."

If you recall his dialogue in the grove, Rolan seems to distance himself from the other refugees, focusing only on the safety of his siblings. Let's unpack this in his own words -

[Rolan: This isn't Elturel and I'm not responsible for every damn tiefling in the world!]

[Rolan: I made no such oath, and I will not be held responsible for these people.]

This is in contrast to Lia, who believes that they should help what she considered to be their 'kin'. Remember that Rolan often refers to the refugees in a detached way, refusing to associate himself with them.

At a first glance, it might seem like Rolan is fixated on his apprenticeship - he wants to get to Baldur's Gate straight away, so he can begin studying under Lorroakan. Lia accuses him of the same, causing Rolan to react with anger.

But if you think about what Rolan's underlying motivations might be, you might have realized something that Cal and Lia most likely recognized too - he's worried for his siblings' safety.

The grove is an open, unprotected area, and they're being menaced by druids on one side, goblins on the other. There's only a few fighters, Rolan, Cal and Lia among them, and none of them are strong enough to take on either group. Even if Rolan feels a sort of kinship with the other tieflings - which I'll expand on in a second - he prioritizes the lives of his siblings over them, and doesn't want them to sacrifice themselves for people he doesn't even know.

Now, the other theory - what if Rolan doesn't identify with the other tieflings, because he's been cast out by them before?

I'm going to inject my personal experience as an immigrant here. Life as an immigrant can be profoundly isolating, especially if you have few relatives in the area. Rolan may have been so attached to Cal and Lia because they took him in when his own people rejected him - for some reason, even other tieflings could have seen him as an "outsider", and refused to help him when his parents abandoned him or died. If you tie in the theory that he was a tiefling born to human parents (which would be taboo), it could have been that they rejected him for not "being tiefling enough". I'm aware that in-universe there's no one unified "culture" of tieflings, but even in groups without a unified culture, there are still small pockets of people with certain internal customs. It could be that Rolan failed to fit in due to his heritage, that he was rejected for his personality, or some other reason, but my interpretation for his refusal to help fellow tieflings is that he never quite felt the same kinship for them that Cal and Lia did. It could also be that he holds resentment towards them for abandoning him - abandonment seems to be a central theme in Rolan's story, and likely contributes to his feelings of inferiority and unworthiness.

(He does seem to know Infernal, though I don't know whether that's a cultural thing or an innate trait to tieflings.)

If the fight is held at the grove, Rolan, Cal, and Lia stand near the back of the cave to protect the children. They can be found arguing with each other on potential battle positions. Afterwards, if the tieflings and all three of the siblings survive, they can be found by the entrance of the cave, where Rolan again behaves arrogantly towards you and claims he could have handled the goblins on his own.

All of this is quite standard for his character and projects the image of an arrogant, selfish person who only seeks to protect himself and the people that matter to him, which is likely what he wants. It also lends some credibility to the interpretation where he was rejected by other refugees - if he felt neutral towards other tieflings, it might have made more sense if he was less derisive towards them. Instead, he consistently detaches himself from his people, drawing clear lines between them, with a hint of bitterness that seems to have a painful origin.

The rest of Act 1 is Rolan acting like his standard self - bratty, arrogant, and dismissive of others. That is how most of us met him, though he won't stay that way for long.

Part 3 - Moonrise

"But what good am I if I can't do this... this one thing?"

(Author's note: "This one thing" is travelling alone through a cursed, necrotic land, breaking into a prison staffed with dozens of trained guards, and personally facing an immortal chosen of the literal god of death. Rolan is a Level 4 wizard.)

As you already know, at the start of Act 2 Rolan is drinking himself to death alone. His brother and sister have been dragged away screaming by the cultists, and he's overwhelmed at the thought of never seeing them again. Naturally, he's quite angry with you, but if you read his lines closely, you can see that you're not the only person he's angry at.

[Rolan: Gods damn it all. I can do nothing right - not a damn thing!] [Devnote: Furious - mainly with himself]

[Player: You're supposed to be at Last Light.]

[Rolan: I'm supposed to be saving Cal and Lia!] [Devnote: Frantic, worried for his siblings]

[Rolan: Instead, I found myself cornered by shadow-fiends and in need of rescue. From you, of all bloody people.] [Devnote: Pissed off and taking it out on the player]

[Player: You were trying to help your family - you're too hard on yourself.]

[Rolan: Or not hard enough.]

[Rolan: I've failed Cal and Lia, again. Be on your way - I'll return to Last Light... I know when I'm outmatched.]

Rolan is someone who feels deeply responsible for the safety of his siblings (this lends credence to the idea that he's the eldest of the three). He may argue and bicker with them, but he could never abandon then, nor could he forgive himself if something were to happen to them. He is clearly carrying an unbearable amount of grief and guilt for allowing his siblings to be captured, but he's so emotionally repressed that he chooses to bury his sorrow under a mound of anger. Being drunk doesn't help - it's mentioned by one of the kids, Ide, that he's been through three bottles of wine by the time the player reaches the Shadow-Cursed Lands.

That much is obvious just from reading his lines, but his angry reaction to the player is, as the devnotes say, a way of taking out his pain and frustration on other people. He might feel guilty about it later, but in the moment, it's the only way he knows how to cope with them. This isn't his only instance of externalizing his self-hatred.

If Cal dies and Lia lives, the player has the option to break up an argument between Lia and Rolan. If they fail to neutralize the situation, Rolan will tell Lia (or Cal, depending on who lives) to get out of his sight permanently.

[Rolan: You deserve nothing. You two are cowardly parasites, and I am disgusted it took me this long to see. Get out of my sight.] [Devnote: Furious in his grief, lashing out, being as hurtful as he can to his surviving sibling]

[Lia: Fuck you, Rolan!]

[Lia: Insufferable, arrogant little prick. Argh.]

[Lia: Everything is about him, everything is about his pain. Godsdamnit, Rolan!]

It says a lot to me that if one of his siblings dies, that he has to be convinced out of lashing out at his surviving one. He seems to be like a person who deals with strong emotions by lashing out, likely as a defense mechanism to make himself appear stronger than he feels. This is a common technique used by people with self-esteem issues - to avoid drawing attention to their own vulnerability, they lash out and externalize their feelings with anger to bury the grief. Lia says as much in this ending - to Rolan, everything is about his pain, and he's managing it in the only way he knows how. He knows he's hurting his siblings, he knows it's wrong, but he engages in it anyway, a common trait of people who dislike themselves. If Rolan didn't have his apprenticeship, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that the death of his siblings might have caused him to spiral and give up on life altogether.

Interestingly enough, in the end where both Rolan and one of his siblings die, it's implied that the remaining sibling commits suicide. You can read more about it here - it gives some insight into Rolan's motivations, and serves to emphasize exactly how much this apprenticeship means to him. Rolan lives for two things, though it really just is one thing - his siblings, and his apprenticeship, which means more to him because it represents a hopeful future for his siblings. Every clue in the game points to his siblings being everything to him.

But let's move away from this bad ending for one second, and back to where we are. Rolan's been drinking himself silly, yelling at children, and eventually storms out into the SCL by himself. Being an apprentice wizard, few expect him to survive on his own, and true to form, he has to be rescued by the player again.

Though I think this line is currently bugged and unavailable, he actually has lines reacting to the shadows.

[Rolan: My magic is not to be trifled with - leave or die!] [Devnote: Exhausted and scared, but trying not to sound it]

Rolan, emotionally repressed fool he is, is once again attempting to appear big in order to protect himself from what he fears. Whether it's the shadows, or the loss of his siblings, he reacts to stressful situations with a brave front, attempting to push people away so they won't see him at his worst state.

This is one of the common symptoms of an avoidant attachment disorder - an attachment style that causes people to push others away if they get too close, avoiding emotional closeness and being uncomfortable expressing vulnerability to others. I interpret Rolan as having this kind of attachment style, which is often formed from neglect or abuse as a child, resulting in a self-sufficient but emotionally cold person. It can lead to the breakdowns of close relationships, as evidenced by Rolan pushing away his surviving sibling (potentially in order to save himself the grief of having to go through their death again). People with this disorder often cut off people before they can be cut off, in order to save themselves the pain of being abandoned again.

Some recognize the negative impact of their behaviors more than most, and though Rolan never comments on it, it can be inferred that he feels some measure of guilt for the way he behaves. If convinced to lay off of his surviving sibling, he immediately apologizes, recognizing his mistake.

[Cal: Do you wish it was me who died? Instead of Lia?]

[Rolan: Gods no, that's not what I meant. Never, Cal. Never!] [Devnote: Realizes what he's just said. Backtracking, apologizing, sincere]

[Rolan: Shit. I'm sorry.] [Devnote: Disgusted with himself and what he's just said. Looking away, sincere apology]

[Cal: Me too.]

We can see here that Rolan IS capable of self-reflection and guilt - it just takes more than a nudge to get it out of him. He says as much if you manage to rescue both siblings, thanking you and apologizing for his behavior - not an empty apology, or made out of necessity, but a genuine, heartfelt admission of guilt and gratitude. This kind of mature response from him says a lot about his character, and hints at a capacity for further growth in Act 3.

As Cal says, Rolan can be stubborn, but he's never malicious. I see this as an indicator of the immense guilt he holds inside him - though he externalizes his rage towards anyone and everyone, deep down, the person he blames the most is himself.

Which leads me directly into a talk about perfectionism, one of Rolan's defining character traits.

Rolan, at his core, is a perfectionist. The feelings of failure for not being able to save his siblings, the arrogance that belies a certain type of self-hatred, and a willingness to attack others in order to deflect from his own vulnerability - all of these traits tie heavily into perfectionism, which Rolan consistently displays traits of. At the start of the game, he spends every line with the player bragging about how he and Lorroakan are going to become household names, how they will boast of this meeting to others. To an extent, I'm sure he believes it. He's just been invited to what he considers to be a prestigious apprenticeship, despite everyone having considered him a failure. Naturally, he's excited despite the trauma of Elturel and Avernus, and wants to get to Lorroakan immediately in order to fulfill his destiny (he refers to it as his destiny several times throughout the game).

This makes what happens next all the more tragic.

Part 4 - Baldur's Gate, Lorroakan, and ending the Cycle of Abuse

Picture this - you've been rejected, abandoned, considered a lost cause for most of your life, accepted only by the siblings you just barely avoided losing forever. But the journey was worth it. You're finally here, in the city you've dreamed of, studying under who in your opinion is one of the most powerful and respected wizards in the world.

Then you get there, and you don't learn a thing. Your teacher asks you nonsensical questions and beats you as a punishment when you're wrong. It's unsurprising that when the player enters Sorcerous Sundries, that Rolan seems a bit more dejected than usual.

Much has been said about the depiction of abuse in media, but as a survivor of domestic violence, I found Rolan's reaction and justification of his abuse very accurate for someone suffering from DV. True to his personality, the very first thing he does is deny that anything's wrong, continuing his trend of burying his emotions in the hope that they'll go away.

[Player: I know the marks of subjugation. Your face - what happened?]

[Rolan: Nothing for you to worry about.] [Devnote: Master Lorroakan hurt him, but he doesn't want to say]

[Narrator: *His voice catches. Something's wrong here.*]

Survivors of DV often feel great shame towards their abuse, often blaming themselves and refusing to speak about it out of fear of appearing vulnerable. True to that, Rolan doesn't say anything about what Lorroakan's doing it, resorting to another common tactic for abuse survivors - implying what's happening without directly stating that the abuse is occurring. This is often out of fear, especially if the victim is still close to the abuser - in this case, Rolan not wanting to jeopardize his apprenticeship, or possibly be abused further for disclosing it to someone else.

[Rolan: Be very sure before you make to visit Lorroakan. He's got a beastly temper.] [Devnote: Sounds a bit disappointed in the player]

[Rolan: Master Lorroakan is... a difficult man.] [Devnote: Gently touches bruised face, distant]

Abuse survivors often hold a great deal of guilt for 'allowing' themselves to be abused, more so if the abuser considers them weak or easy to manipulate. There's often a stigma - "why didn't you just leave? You knew it was bad, yet you stayed, so there must be some blame on your part." This is not an uncommon belief amongst survivors, and through his journal entries, it can be inferred that Rolan holds a similar belief. Rolan's journal, and his VA's fantastic reading of it, can be found here. Rolan is clearly aware that what's being done to him is wrong, but he persists - in my opinion, partially because he believes it's worth the benefits involved, and partially because he feels a responsibility towards his siblings to succeed after 'failing' them so tragically before. Again, perfectionism, guilt, internalized self-hatred: easy traits for a horrible man like Lorroakan to take advantage of.

There are a few possible endings for Rolan here, the first being if you side against the Nightsong with Lorroakan.

The thing about abuse, as Larian so excellently portrays it, is that it is often perpetuated in cycles. A person who's been hurt is more likely to hurt others, whether as a response to their pain, or in an attempt to spread their misery in order to feel less alone. Though not all survivors become perpetrators themselves, many perpetrators are survivors themselves. Rolan is no different - if Nightsong is captured, and Lorroakan is killed in the fight, he will immediately attempt to cage the Nightsong himself and harness her immortality. This could easily be seen as an attempt to get strong enough that no one can ever hurt or take advantage of him again.

When the player next long rests, Rolan will be found dead, having been killed by Aylin - perhaps a mercy, to avoid him from becoming just the same as Lorroakan.

But the player who cares for Rolan wouldn't let this happen to him, right?

Rolan's attitude towards the player gradually changes over time, but nothing shows his growth more than his good ending, where you save Cal and Lia and side with the Nightsong. When you bring Nightsong to the tower, Rolan will be shocked, in disbelief that the Nightsong was a person all along. He turns against Lorroakan on the spot despite the other man's threats to ruin his life (a common tactic employed by abusers to control their victims).

[Lorroakan: Boy! At the ready. Once I've taken control of the aasimar, she must go directly into the caging runes.]

[Rolan: No, Master Lorroakan. I would have never assisted you if I knew you planned such horrors.]

[Rolan: You lied to get the Nightsong here. Made us all believe she was nothing but a relic. I have seen what true leadership can accomplish - but never under your tutelage.]

[Lorroakan: Watch your tongue, you child! I could make it so that no wizard in the realm will touch you.]

[Rolan: If they're all like you, I think that sounds like an excellent bargain.]

It takes an immense amount of courage to stand up to one's abuser, so to see Rolan so bravely stand against the man who hurt him was a positive surprise to me. It also shows just how much the player has changed Rolan for the better - your leadership and selflessness has inspired him, given him the bravery to stand against his abuser. It's a powerful scene, and I admit that watching it brought a tear to my eye, brief as it was. Few people get the chance to take revenge on their abusers, so it was cathartic to see Rolan thunderwaving him onto the balcony before letting Aylin snap his spine.

After the fight, Rolan thanks the player, finally feeling safe enough after his abuser's death to reveal what happened to him. Though it's implied that he feels some shame for being victimized, much of it is likely from the shock of the sudden event, and by the next day he's regained much of his enthusiasm - he still has the ego, but with less arrogance and more acceptance of the player's presence. Rolan's growth, from hating and mistrusting the player to eventually trusting them enough to show his true, kind self to them, is what really made me fall in love with him and his character arc.

Ultimately, Rolan's story isn't just about learning to lay down your pride and accept help from others - it's about abandoning perfectionism and elitism, accepting your own faults, and choosing to grow as a person. For Rolan, the player begins as an annoying, meddlesome force, someone who "moralizes" to him about saving others when he wants no part in doing what's considered "right". By the end of the game, he realizes just how lucky he is to have you in his life - without the player's influence, he could have easily gone down the worst path, the path of narcissism, ego, and disregard for others. But because of a string of coincidences, he was saved from that fate, and was allowed to grow and accept that there's enough room in his heart for more than just the few people that care about him. He learns to lay down the perfectionism, accept that making mistakes is a part of change, and feel his feelings for what they are - whether they're gratitude, fear, or even sadness.

For someone who struggles with avoidant attachment disorder, seeing Rolan's character change throughout the game greatly inspired me to change the way I was approaching my own relationships with people. Avoidant attachment disorder is not talked about very often, both in the medical field and in everyday life, and people suffering from it are often misunderstood or considered to be 'lost causes' - to see Rolan so capable of change inspired me to change myself, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one who felt this way.

When he takes over Ramazith's Tower, Rolan decides to distribute Lorroakan's knowledge to the world, and tells you about his plans to open a library. This is the most obvious sign that he's changed - the player's willingness to help him despite getting little or nothing in exchange has inspired him, and he becomes a kinder, more open person. He learns to trust again, to love again. It's unclear what happens afterwards, as he's not present in the epilogue, but the heartwarming conclusion to his arc can be seen in the issue of the Baldur's Mouth Gazette after Lorroakan's death -

Despite everything, Rolan makes it to the end, having vanquished the trials in front of him with the help of the player. He gets his tower, his knowledge, and shares it with the realms, finally able to realize that he's worthy and deserving of a happy life.

Thank you to Larian for bringing Rolan's story to life, to Mr. Taylor for his excellent portrayal of this character, and to all the Rolan fans for showing him so much love every single day.

I have met so many amazing and talented friends from the community around this character, and I'll forever be grateful for everyone who showed him the love I feel towards him.

I can be found on twitter at @gimblebock.

#rolan #rolan bg3 #bg3 rolan #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #rolan cal lia #lorroakan #bg3 lore #long post

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makenoplans · 1 year ago

Text

all gale banter! (that i am currently aware of)

hiii gale enthusiasts, i just spent the past few hours picking through videos trying to find all of gales party banter and transcribing it! check under the cut for verbose details

copied directly from the doc i transcribed this into so youll have to bear with the initials to denote who is speaking when! generally speaking, initials are a=astarion, g=gale, h=halsin, j=jaheira, k=karlach, l=lae'zel, m=minthara, s=shadowheart, and w=wyll

(except for two minsc quotes that are also m, both where he mentions his name so like... it's obvious)

transcribed with attention paid to particular noises characters make that aren't quite whole words and also words that are emphasized!

please let me know if youre aware of any banter ive missed!

warning: long

G: Karlach! A hypothetical question for you. If someone - not me, of course - detected a hint of romantic interest in them from another… unnamed individual, erm, what might that someone�� do about it?

K: Whoever it is, just talk to them, Gale! And leave out the hypotheticals.

G: Talking. Right! I'm good at that!

A: So, Gale, how is your sad, hopeless pining going?

G: [Ach!] I'm hardly pining! Been a year or more since Mystra cast me aside!

A: Oh, my dear wizard, I wasn't talking about Mystra.

W: I used to believe the beauty of first love was unable to be surpassed, but Gale, you are so much more tolerable now that you've found your second.

G: I'll take that comment with the sincerity and good will I assume it was intended.

G: Have you noticed any attachments of the more, er, romantic variety flourishing in our camp, Wyll?

W: I think I'm not the right person to be asking. I can recognize a troll silhouette on a far horizon, but I wouldn't know a flirtation if you whacked me alongside the head with it.

G: I see you waste no time pursuing your quarry, Astarion.

A: Hmph! I rather thought I was a little slow this time. Usually they're begging me to dream them on the first night.

G: Tell me - you always woo your lovers with such patient attention?

A: As the vampire ascendant I can grant my lover immortality and bind them to me forever.

G: Hmm. I trust you speak of the bonds of love, not the shackles of servitude.

G: Am I to understand that you are in love now, Karlach?

K: I sure am. [heh] If there's hope for me, there's hope for anyone.

G: I'm surprised you're permitted to choose a partner outside of your own people.

L: We had to use and misuse each civilization in the stars in every way we know. I do not conquer by blade alone, Gale.

G: I can't imagine Mother Gith would approve. Doesn't she prefer us lesser species enslaved? Or eviscerated?

M: You've been smiling like a fool of late, wizard. Explain yourself.

G: I found love. Surely even you wouldn't begrudge me some happiness?

M: All I can say on the matter is that you were wise to lower your standards from the godly to the ghastly.

G: Tell me, Lae'zel: is it common for githyanki to fall in love?

L: Love? Is that this feeling in me, then? This passion to peel every layer of one's heart to see what light and shadows lurk there? I doubt I am the first githyanki to… to feel this way, but few would ever declare it. Githyanki have playmates, thrill partners but I've never heard anyone profess love, nor read of it in our slates.

L: Gale, I've heard you talking in your sleep. Your mate needs better rest for our journey.

G: And deprive them of the pleasure of hearing my nocturnal postulations? I'd never be so cruel. The mind absorbs much while we believe ourselves dormant. To lie beside Gale of Waterdeep is positively educational.

G: If you're feeling faint after your bout with Cazador, Astarion, I don't mind donating some blood.

A: Aha! Well, you're still full of that Netherese bile, I'll pass, thank you! Besides, I have someone else to nibble on, and they are delicious.

G: I'm glad to know you have a softer side, Minthara. I was beginning to think you rather… heartless.

M: Loving another is not soft, wizard. It is one of the hardest things a person can do.

G: So you admit you found love! Aww. How delightful. I'm happy for you both.

A: So, how was your night with Gale? Did you have a long, hard debate?

G: Ugh. Ignore him. Astarion envies the depth of a bond because he's of a shallower inclination.

G: So Astarion, I hear your relationship has taken on a new aspect recently.

A: My life has taken on "a new aspect." It's only natural that my relationships change as well.

G: Halsin! You must have accumulated considerable wisdom on matters of the heart in your long life. Anything you'd like to pass on to a… strapping, lovestruck wizard such as myself?

H: [hehehe] Dispensing advice on matters of the heart would be like swapping boots. What suits me may be a… poor fit for you.

G: Ah. Well. There's no faulting that logic. At least you didn't tell me to "be myself."

H: Oh no, perish the thought. That can be outright cruel advice to offer in certain cases.

G: Indulge me, Lae'zel, as someone unfettered by Faerunian beauty standards: how would you appraise my appearance?

L: Your beard looks like the hairy tufts upon the [surlon], the largest of wyrmkind that sliver our skies.

G: Hm. I suppose that's… a bad thing? No. Don't answer that.

G: Wild-shaping must sprinkle some spice on your love life, Halsin.

H: Heh. Indeed it does. Did you… never experience such delights with Mystra? I, uh, hear the gods enjoy taking on the forms of swans, horses, eagles and the like when… visiting with mortals?

G: Oh no, quite the opposite, actually! She mostly preferred our interactions to be abstract, and incorporeal. Most invigorating.

G: So, Lae'zel, have you ever been tempted to use psionics in your, uh, romantic endeavors?

L: Only once. Did you know, in low-gravity settings, githyanki can maintain aerial suspension for hours at a time?

G: Fascinating! I think the arch-mage Tasha described a spell with similar affect! I really must look that up.

G: I've always felt flames to be a rather perfect expression of love, Karlach. Passionate! Primal! Capable of bestowing the most life-affirming comfort - or - inflicting the profoundest damage.

L: That's… pretty nice. Never thought about it like that. But… now I will.

G: I've been pondering something, Lae'zel. Why is it that githyanki have bellybuttons, hm? When they hatch from eggs?

L: I did not grant you permission to gaze upon my midriff.

G: I- I wasn't gazing! Merely observing! Though that can hardly be said for a certain someone else.

G: Y'know, Karlach, there are other ways to express love beyond run-of-the-mill physicality.

K: Ugh! Are you going to try and teach me about exceptional uses for a mage hand or what?

G: W-well actually, I was thinking of poetry!

K: Oops. Sorry. But, uh, now that I think of it… is mage hand especially hard to learn?

G: Even shaped by shadow as it is, Sharran architecture has a kind of beauty to it.

K: Beautifully intimidating. This place was meant to scare people into submission.

G: There you go. Cutting right through the ephemera to the heart of the matter. Hm! Your finest quality, I think.

K: Uh. Here I thought I rubbed you the wrong way.

G: Nothing wrong with a bit of friction now and then. You help me keep my mind sharp.

K: Aw, thanks, pal! I think.

G: When we met, Shadowheart, your gaze seemed to linger in the distance on some unseen goal, some insubstantial purpose. But I notice now your gaze settles on something or someone much closer.

S: Is it that obvious?

G: Of course! There's nothing escapes a wizard's powers of observation.

A: I gave my return to Baldur's Gate a lot of thought. I never pictured this, though.

G: Ah, what did you have in mind? A quiet party? Toasting your own return with a few good friends?

A: Less "quiet party with friends", more "days of hedonistic debauchery", but otherwise… yes!

G: Hmm. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. But you know what? I'm learning to enjoy the taste of chaos. Count me in.

G: I've heard that in Baldur's Gate, "wizard" is also a term used for one who eschews their more, [hr-hrm] carnal desires. Is that true, Wyll?

W: Where are we going with this, Gale?

G: Oh, nowhere. Just think it's a rather cruel misnomer, not at all reflective of the glamor wizarding life affords.

A: So Gale, you laid with a goddess? You must have some sordid tales to tell.

G: Sordid? I lay with the Mother of Magic herself! What we had was… transcendent. Euphoric. Incandescent. Not sordid!

A: You actually made sleeping with a goddess sound boring. Hm. Incredible.

A: I am enjoying our walks together, aren't you, Gale?

G: Uhh… sure! In silence.

G: When you've loved a goddess as I have, people often think you less experienced in the way of romance.

S: She just lives on another plane! [heh] Only jesting. I'm in no position to judge, especially after what happened with Shar.

G: It's true for a time, I neglected the physical in favor of celestial euphoria. But our relationship was no less real for it.

G: I feel I've been rather hasty to judge you, Astarion. One heartbreak was quite enough for me, but to experience it as many times as you have… must change a person.

A: Thank you, Gale, but let us both hope that broken hearts are a thing of the past.

A: So, do you have loves waiting for you once this is all over?

G: You know what, that is not the easiest of questions for me to answer.

S: You mean just… waiting? Like a lovesick puppy?

M: Do you have elder siblings, wizard?

G: You're about to say something awful, aren't you?

M: In Menzoberranzan, after a house has two sons, every subsequent male-born child is slaughtered at birth, as it is useless, even for breeding. You have the aura of a third child about you.

G: The architect who built this must have been remarkable. Pity their vision didn't stand the test of time.

K: All's not lost. I mean, just look at this place!

G: You've quite the knack for finding the bright side of things, haven't you?

K: Hope keeps you going.

K: So Gale, got any book recommendations for me?

G: You can read?

K: Hmph. Yes, very funny. I can read. School put me off big, boring tomes. Sometimes I wonder what I'm missing.

G: Ah! Say no more. I'll find the perfect book for you. I might even lend it to you from my library in Waterdeep, ooh.

K: Ooh, something with magic please! And no devils!

G: Do you feel that? The darkness, pulling at the strands of the Weave?

K: Er, you'll still be able to do your wizard thing though, right?

G: Of course. Doesn't make the shadows less dangerous.

K: Joy.

M: Gale. Minsc worries you might send a fireball up his butt with all of this… stringy hair in your face.

G: Is that why you keep your head shaved? I assumed it was a custom of some sort.

M: Oh, no. Most warriors of [Rashinan] wear long battle braids weighed down with stone. Minsc can show you, when next we camp.

G: Thank you, but I'm more wizard than warrior. Not sure my scalp would stand up to such a plaiting.

A: Gods! We're not back, are we?

G: On the Nautiloid, no. This is a different nursery. Similar, but not identical. There's likely one in every colony.

A: I don't care what's in every mind flayer colony, Gale. Nobody does. Except you.

A: Ugh, another ruined temple full of foul-smelling beasts spoiling for a fight.

G: No mere temple. This was a monastery, devoted as much to study as to worship.

A: Oh, how ignorant of me. So it'll be free of foul-smelling beasts then?

G: Quite the opposite. Some monastic orders celebrated their pungency as proof of their devotion. "To think is to stink" was the motto of one ill-fated brotherhood near Arm. Oh! Huh, but you meant beasts of the life-threatening variety. Yes I'm sure it's teeming with those.

A: Moonlanterns to keep the curse back? Burly guards to fight off any monsters? I could get used to this place.

G: Don't get too comfortable. We shouldn't overstay our welcome in such a place.

A: No, of course! Why stay somewhere safe and comfortable when we could be in mortal peril?

H: Ah, Last Light Inn. Half aglow and lanterns lit. Just like a hundred years ago.

G: I imagine the vista was more idyllic back then. As were its patrons' chances of surviving the walk home.

H: [Grunt.] Still though, when you are expecting nothing but desolation, even a small glimmer of hope fills the heart. To think long ago, the druids feared this market down would grow into a city and threaten nature's realm… little did we realize what the true threat was.

G: Divination is a skill few can master. The rest of us must simply muddle along, content to view the past with a clarity the future rarely offers.

H: Perhaps I can yet turn hindsight into foresight, provided the curse is lifted. The better way for all. Whole generations were denied their chance to flourish… I must put this right, for them.

A: That orb seems powerful. What could it do once it's extracted?

G: Nothing good can come of it unless it is contained. Why.

A: It might be useful. Who knows?

G: I must tell you, Shadowheart, the bathing waters here leave much to be desired. The ablutions offered at the Temple of Beauty in Waterdeep were far superior - and, they have the most excellent soaps.

S: Hmm. I was wondering why you always smelled like a wealthy dowager.

A: From sweet woodland to stinking swamp. Can you do tricks like that, Gale?

G: Easiest thing in the world. Though I'd do it the other way around.

H: Brickwork and stonework. This place is far out of balance with nature, but the Oak Father will reclaim this all eventually.

G: Not too soon, I hope! I've a craving for a soft bed, a hot bath, and a large glass of Arabellan Dry. None of which I've ever found hidden under a log.

H: Hah, you may thrive, but what of other life? A city is no place for wild creatures.

G: Cities teem with life! Rats, pigeons, flies… they count no less, for all their more pestilent qualities.

G: The Society of brilliance has quite the reputation. Even Waterdhavian academics refer to their works from time to time.

S: They talk a great deal but do very little. Which may be for the best.

G: I take it you're not inclined to study the wonders of the Underdark?

S: Its inhabitants and cultures, maybe. Its fungi and cave slime, no thank you.

W: Ethel mentioned Netherese magic. What in blazes does that mean?

G: Magic from the fallen empire of Netheril. Ancient. Exceedingly dangerous. And quite unrivalled.

A: Wonderful. I'd hate to be destroyed by any common old magic.

G: Home and hearth, reduced to ruins. The shadow curse stole more than the light from this place.

H: That is why it must be stopped. Imagine a whole century of life and love denied the chance to ever take place.

G: A hidden shrine dedicated to the Moonmaiden herself. Even amidst this darkness, Selunites are stubborn enough to cling on.

K: Pretty beautiful, isn't it?

G: Look around you! Indulge your curiosity! Sorcerous Sundries is the finest purveyor of magical miscellany for miles around.

K: Where's the axes?

G: What they sell is far more precious than mere sword or shield! They sell knowledge! Ingenuity! The wisdom of mages past.

K: [yawns] Ugh, sounds like more your thing than mine.

K: Doing alright, Gale?

G: Oh, you know. Still alive and kicking despite being surrounded on all sides by an endless manifestation of… darkness and decay.

K: I feel it too. Here if you need a pick-me-up.

G: It strikes me that, for a mind flayer colony, there are remarkably few mind flayers about the place.

K: Squiddies have gone to war, is my guess.

G: On the Absolute's behalf? Now there's an alliance I'd've been quite happy without.

K: Aw, man, adventuring is thirsty work.

G: There used to be a monastery in this region known for producing a wonderful ale.

K: Ah, that sounds like heaven. Wait. Used to?

G: Oh yes, long ruined, I'm afraid. No chance of a frothing pitcher awaiting us there, but still. At least your thirst for knowledge is quenced!

K: Ugh!

W: It might seem a bit ramshackle, but this place is a boastworthy bar.

G: A bar is only as good as its cellars. Which vintages can we expect on its racks?

W: Here, a bottle is judged more by its ability to crack heads than the quality of its contents.

G: Ah. If that's the main criteria then I shall reset my expectations accordingly. Water it is!

K: We're not taking a boat to Baldur's Gate, right?

G: And give the Absolute free reign to use us as target practice from the banks? I think not!

K: Ugh. My mum always said the Chionthat was unlucky.

G: I don't suppose you've any clue where we are in relation to Waterdeep?

K: From this distance between Elturel and Baldur's Gate, I'd say… a long way away.

G: Ah. That will make getting word to my mother rather tricky. No matter. What she doesn't know can't hurt her. Not at this distance, anyway.

G: Nothing like a brisk stroll through the forest to invigorate the spirit.

K: I was just thinking the same thing! But… poetically.

G: And without so much as a stirring from our tadpoles.

K: A girl could get used to this.

L: These children and their pets lack discipline. Were they githyanki, I'd recommend further training.

G: Not everyone approaches the raising of their young with such militaristic vigor.

L: That is the very purpose of training. To determine which children shall be warriors, and which are suited to other roles. As for the unruly animals, they would make for nutritious marching rations.

G: Mm, that's certainly one way to make them behave.

L: These flowers are quite vivid, not to mention pungent. Not to my liking.

G: Are there no flowers in [tunirath]?

L: In the city of death, the m'lar cultivate the fruiting bodies that sprout from the corpses of the slain.

G: Huh. I'd rather get them from my florist in Waterdeep, if it's all the same to you.

G: That zaith'isk you mentioned intrigues me. Care to tell me a bit more?

L: An intricate device crafted by m'lar, our most gifted artisans. I am sworn to say no more.

S: Why must the Dead Three be so obvious and ugly with their decor? Blood and bones, bones and blood… Pointy nonsense. At least Shar had some panache.

G: As did Mystra's home on Elysium. Her ribbed vaults and buttresses created a magic entirely of their own… not to mention their pleasure domes.

S: Hah! Pleasure dome.

G: It's a perfectly legitimate architectural feature!

G: The road to Baldur's Gate is a long one. Who knows how long it'll take these folks to get there on foot.

S: If they make it. They're slow, vulnerable. Half or more will die long before Basilisk Gate.

G: Doesn't seem to trouble you a jot.

S: What good would it do for me to be troubled? We can't save them all.

S: You seem to know a good deal about our condition, Gale.

G: Everything, really. Not to put too fine a point on it.

S: A humble specimen, aren't you?

G: On occasion.

G: They're not mutually exclusive! The weave is served best with a dash of eloquence.

G: There's magic here, but it's of a rancid, impure form. Nothing like the true Weave at all.

L: This is why I appreciate a sharp blade to a ball of fire or a bolt of lightning. The Weave is inconsistent, unruly.

G: The Weave is constant, but its users - anything but. We must be on our guard.

L: A githyanki warrior hardly needs to be told that.

L: What is this? This place makes me feel sad, melancholy.

G: Ah, so you're susceptible to the tragedy of a broken home. Maybe you've more in common with us weaker beings than you thought.

L: There's no call to be insulting.

G: Not to diminish our efforts, but. Was rather simple getting here in the end, wasn't it?

L: The obstacles ahead prove to be higher still, which will make the pleasure of overcoming them all the more potent. Imagine the glorious din of it all, the streaming banners, the charging knights. The piles of severed limbs and heads.

G: Mm, I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you.

G: Whatever I expected to find lurking in this cursed gloom, it certainly wasn't this. A glimmer of hope amidst the darkness.

S: That's one way of looking at it. You could also say it's a prime target, the one pocket of light in the gloom.

G: Oh pragmatism, thy name is Shadowheart. You're not wrong, though. Best we keep our sojourn here to a minimum.

G: So! Shadowheart. Such a name implies yours is a difficult heart to find.

S: It's not that hard to find. Perhaps any difficulty is more telling of you, Gale.

G: I always wondered what a vampire's lair would look like. Can't say I pictured it being quite this… theatrical.

L: I find it surprisingly similar to Queen Vlaakith's aesthetic.

G: That makes sense. She does have a flair for the dramatic.

G: No day, no night. It's as though time itself has abandoned this place. Similar to the Astral Plane in some ways, wouldn't you say, Lae'zel?

L: Mm, hardly. It is said that the Astral Plane is threaded with light and silver, life-giving and wondrous in all directions. Nothing like this dismal abyss.

G: Tell me, Lae'zel, what is it like on the Astral Plane? Your home realm intrigues me.

L: Githyanki lay their eggs on other planes. They cannot mature in the Astral.

L: A tadpole nursery, as on the Nautiloid.

G: Quite right, so long as the attempt won't leave us similarly dismantled.

L: Caution is commendable. Boldness is extraordinary. In this case, I recommend the latter.

W: You're an impressive fighter, Gale. You should consider a new name.

G: I take it you have some suggestions?

W: The Wizard Wonder. Or, how about… the Master of the Weave?

G: Tempting, but I think we already have the maximum number of theatrical titles.

G: Pigeons, gulls, sparrows. These streets would make a fine hunting ground for a tressym like Tara.

M: In the Underdark, we have packs of winged hounds to deal with vermin like your precious Tara.

G: Flying hounds? Come now, you're pulling my leg. Aren't you?

M: Yes, I am. It is the bats that would make a meal of her.

M: Umberlee. Her clerics possess a nasty streak as wide as her oceans.

G: So their reputation suggests, especially among the good folk of Waterdeep. I'm curious to learn how you fell foul of them.

M: Blasphemy, said the temple priestess, but Minsc says do not give horns to your statues if you do not wish the visitors to try and make them toot.

G: Yes. That would probably do it.

W: I admire your courage, Gale.

G: Thank you! Any particular reason?

W: Between the orb and the bug, you've got more than your fair share of unwelcome passengers.

G: What can I say? Mother always told me to be a gracious host.

G: My, my. Well I'll say this for the bonecloaks: they know their mushrooms.

S: Perhaps they should expand their horizons. Too much time spent obsessing over fungi seems to leave them a bit, well… like them.

G: Oh, a byproduct of their profession. Few can spend a lifetime inhaling fungal spores without turning out a bit… muddled between the years.

W: This is it, Gale. Today, we annihilate the heart of the Absolute's power.

G: Entirely unnecessary. Though, if they are so inclined, I might be convinced to share a stanza or two of my own for inspiration! Whatever outcome of what's just ahead… it will be the stuff of legends.

G: I knew you were a graceful man, Wyll, but I hear you're quite the dancer, too! I've been known to trip the light fantastic myself. Mine was a popular hand at the annual Blackstaff's Ball.

W: I'd have loved to have witnessed it, Gale. I wager you are as elegant on the dance floor as you are on the battlefield.

S: What did you mean before, Gale? "A woman with shadows for eyes", you said.

G: Merely that if the eyes are the mirror to the soul, yours have dark curtains across the mirror. No offense taken, I hope.

S: Not necessarily. I haven't made up my mind about you yet.

A: Ever heard of a vampire called Cazador, Wyll?

W: I don't think so, no. Why? Friend of yours?

G: He's patriarch of the Szarr family. Nasty fellow, if the histories are accurate.

A: I imagine they are.

L: The right of these prisoners to die in mortal combat was stolen from them.

G: Hardly the worst atrocity the Absolute's committed.

L: One of many, but by no means the least. To die properly is a matter of honor.

W: This is no aimless horde. The Absolute's forces are organized. What do you make of it, Gale?

G: All enemies have some chink in their armor, no matter how much they like to believe themselves invulnerable.

W: And if we don't find any clear weakness?

G: Then we hope our mutual strengths are enough to dominate them. Or! We die nobly in the attempt.

G: I was wondering about your queen, Vlaakith. What tales of her reach us are terrifying. I suppose that's not how you would describe her.

L: Vlaakith is unity. Fear and beauty, life and unlife… eyes like onyx, teeth like daggers. There is none more perfect.

S: Sounds vile. I assume the meaning of perfect was lost in translation.

G: Moonrise Towers lies ahead. We're nearing the heart of the Absolute, I'm certain of it.

W: Then let us push forward, head high, weapons in hand, and turn this tower to rubble.

G: Your confidence is encouraging, but a little premature. Let's keep our eyes on the task ahead- or eye, as the case may be.

W: Who's in charge of the mind flayers, Lae'zel? Is there a squid king or something?

L: No. Each ghaik is servant to an elder brain. No king unites elders, only their collective tyranny.

G: A mind flayer monarch! Imagine that. Such a thing could shatter worlds!

K: Ready to enter the belly of the beast?

G: Ugh. It's the stairs I'm dreading.

G: No sign of tentacles so far.

S: The same. Except for a knot of worry in my stomach that's in no rush to go away.

G: That I can relate to.

G: The masons here thought they were building something to last. How wrong they were.

W: Perhaps it's a blessing that none of them survived to see it fall to the shadows.

G: No need for such a grim assumption. Halsin helped many to escape these shadows before the town was consumed.

W: Then some masons were more blessed still, if they could put their talent to use elsewhere. Perhaps some of their work even graces Baldur's Gate.

S: You seemed quite forward with your compliments earlier. We'd only just met.

G: Seize the day, I say. More now than ever.

S: Careful you don't pull a muscle in this place.

S: Isn't it so that every time you speak as you cast a spell, you're endeavoring to call upon Mystra? I'm surprised she still listens to you.

G: She has no choice. She's sworn to hear all magic users. Even me. I'm sure she at least stuffs her fingers in her ears to muffle my invocations.

G: The history of the city itself is captured in the archives here. A fascinating resource.

W: I wonder what those archives will reveal about us a hundred years hence.

G: Only the most excellent and complimentary things. With some encouragement from us, of course.

G: Look at this place. Such horrors defy description.

S: Silence can be best. Give it a try sometime.

S: What if this creche doesn't work out, Lae'zel? What if your kin fail you?

L: If I can reach the creche, my kin will provide. Any failure will be mine alone.

S: If you say so. Just don't expect me to put all my eggs in the same basket.

G: That expression must sound curious to a githyanki ear, given the way they're birthed.

G: Gods. Who knew such a vile abscess lurked in the bedrock of this city? The very stone reeks of misery and despair.

J: Mm. A sad shrine kept by the lunatic and the lost. The last time I was here, I promised myself I would die beneath open sky. I have not changed my mind.

G: Nor should you. Far better to feel a cool breeze on your skin than whatever foul expirations blow through these halls.

A: Eh, can't say I love what they've done with the place.

G: Unsurprising, really. Fanatical cultists tend to care more for ambience then aesthetics.

A: Hrm. Reason enough to put them all to the sword, I say.

A: Heh, what's this? A clever little hideaway. A little too clever, if you ask me. Watch out for traps.

G: Not just clever. Rather ingenious! Somehow its construction keeps the shadow curse away.

S: The end must be near. No regrets, Gale? You may have been better off staying inside this boulder.

G: Unlikely. Had I stayed there much longer, the orb would have reduced it to rubble. Besides, think of all the fun I'd've missed out on.

S: Fun? Well, yes… I suppose we did manage to make the best of things.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #gale bg3 #bg3 party banter #party banter

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lara635kookie · 3 months ago

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Zayne's Birthday:

I don't want to give spoilers to people who haven't played much yet but I think anyone realizes by now that Zayne is someone that values work ethics in his field. So I think his arch will involve this:His character will pass through a test. Would he forget all medical ethics to save MC? Would he go against all his beliefs just to be with her?

My theory is that Dawnbreaker is the most important factor in all of this. Astra's curse says Zayne will not be together with MC in every universe, but Dawnbreaker DOESN'T have an MC. So the curse doesn't apply to him. And if he never gets an MC in his world, the curse never will, which would prove that the curse is imperfect and can be avoided in some way, maybe even UNDONE.

I think everyone noticed by now that Dawnbreaker is the odd one out between all Zaynes. He differs from all of the other Zaynes in many things. One of these things is ethics. Doctor Zayne has a very clear life overall ethic. The same applies to The Foreseer and Master of Fate. Even though their ethics are different, they still have ethics because they're divine beings. But Dawnbreaker doesn't have ethics. Or has a very twisted one. Because even though he kills people who became monsters(wanderers)/want to be killed, killing is still non-ethical. So maybe he is the key to the other Zaynes not having to put their ethics aside to save MC. Imagine if Dawnbreaker can see not only Doctor Zayne but also The Foreseer and The Master and goes all depressive like:"They all have her except for me." It would be so ironic if Dawnbreaker was the key to saving MC and giving happiness to ALL OF THE OTHER ZAYNES EXCEPT HIMSELF("always the bridesmaid, never the bride."). He would guarantee the happiness of everyone else and watch them being happy as some kind of torture knowing it would never be him. He would never have her, so he would never be truly happy. It's ironic to imagine the other Zaynes(at least some of them) envying Dawnbreaker for not being so helplessly in love with someone you will eventually lose and suffer forever because of it and Dawnbreaker envying the other Zaynes because he still would rather be with her for a while and then lose her than not having her at all.

If they don't give Dawnbreaker an MC after the curse is broken (I hope it will be broken), I will be so PISSED. But it would also add to the drama if after seeing Doctor Zayne's MC for so long in his dreams he knows her so well he fell for HER instead of his OWN MC (if she appears) because she's different from the MC of the doctor. Because his MC will probably be, just like all the other ones, a reflex on his world, and he doesn't like his world. He wanted to be in a better world. A world like Zayne's, with the MC of Zayne. So after the MC of Zayne being his only confort in a broken world, he would still rather be attached to the hope of an impossible better world with her than accepting his own MC and conforming and embracing the reality of his world. And then his journey with his MC would be him slowly falling out of love for Zayne's MC and falling for his own MC, accepting his MC and believing his own world can become a better world with her by his side, instead of him just going to another world.

Anyway, I am so excited for Zayne's birthday because, well it's ZAYNE, but also because it might clarify things not just with Dawnbreaker but all of the other Zaynes. I am saving diamonds like crazy and I hope I get an equally crazy amount of all of the Zaynes.

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stagefoureddiediaz · 7 months ago

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Costume Meta 7x05

Hello, Hey, how we all doing??

Ready for another super long meta post??

There is so much to talk about this week - admittedly mostly Buck and Eddie related, but there is also plenty going on for Hen and Karen as well.

No Bobby this week as we only see him in uniform, and only the one costume for Athena as well. I also want to say that I am not doing any of the costumes from the Madney wedding that we saw at the end of the epsiode - I want to give them the space they deserve and I will probably write a separate pre episode meta for those costumes specifically! All I will say is Maddie looks stunning, Buck in white - hello! and Eddie in a just a collar making him look like a pink priest - hilarious!

The rest is under the cut as always 😎

Let's start with some of the guest characters.

Alien Hand syndrome man continues to prove the check means bad things theme, which makes me happier than you can ever know!!

Then we have Deidra in her very bright pink coat. If you read my promo meta for this episode you will have read a fairly sizeable section at the end on my thinking about the use of pink in this season (going to make a separate post during this hiatus so its all in one place). All of the times we see it in this episode, play into (and I guess prove) my thinking. Deidra is acting with good intentions and while I don't think she's naive or innocent in the strictest sense of the word, she is perhaps continually being naive in thinking that not revealing Mara's past is the right way to go (don't come at me about child protection etc I am fully aware of what the real world laws state, but this story arc really highlights the fact that in trying to protect children who are at risk and in the system, they can also cause ongoing harm if things are not taken on a case by case basis - its a whole other essay that I am not getting into here).

Then we have Mara herself who is never without pink - namely her pink blanket. The pink plays into the theme of innocence especially with Mara and while she may not be innocent of the act of maiming Denny, her innocence goes much deeper. Its meant as a very clear signpost of the innocence of childhood - that pink blanket and her clinging onto it is a symbol of her clinging onto her childhood, despite the fact that she has gone through a terrible loss and trauma. she is still a child and the show is clearly going to play into the idea that as she settles into the Wilson home and is able to work through the trauma, her need to cling onto her childhood in this way will diminish and we'll see her slowly become less attached to the blanket. We already have signs of progress with the colour journey her tops have been on - lavender, pink and then the turquoise one at the end. Lavender is also a colour associated with childishness or lethargy, pink the colour of innocence, and childhood. While turquoise is a colour of calmness and clarity. its signalling HenRen's breakthrough with Mara and that she's growing and beginning to feel secure.

Hen and Karen

Hen and Karen go on a real colour journey this week - I'm doing them together (along with Denny) because they very much work in tandem clothing wise (and also because I was running out of pictures again - whats new there!)

So first up we have Karen in this beautiful dip dye ombre dress in purple, pink and mauve. it also has this drip staining pattern which has deliberately been created during the dying process. The lavender at the top of the dress is representative of hope and serenity, this is Karen in a great place - about to expand her family and fulfil a dream. The pink as I've said is all about innocence and naivety - more innocence in this case - both the new baby being innocent and Hen and Karens innocent hopes for their future. The dark mauve at the bottom of the skirt - eating into the pink is such a choice - gathering storm clouds, foreshadowing the turmoil about to come - taking away the innocent hope. mauve can be standoffish and withdrawn, and in this context those are great descriptors for Mara and her struggles that Hen and Karen will need to help her work through.

Hen's in cyan blue trousers - which is a colour associated with clarity and balance. whilst the cream, black and blue jacket with stars on is the beginning point for a theme that runs through the Wilsons arc this week - black is a power colour, associated with many things, but for Hen and Karen in this arc it is very much about protection and strength. Here for hen it is mostly about protection - protecting this new baby they are about to take in. The cream is warmth and tranquility.

Hen is wearing check - foreshadowing the upcoming struggles with Mara. Karens bronze and black Jacquard trousers are a symbol of strength - bronze as a colour means strength and support, it's also a symbol of faithfulness. It's telling us that Karen will take the lead on supporting Mara and being strong for her.

We see a lot of white on Karen in this episode, white, like pink is a colour of innocence, but it is more associated with purity and balance. It is also a colour of neutral refelction. By this I mean that it amplifies other colours by providing a neutral background - allowing other colours to shine. I find this a really interesting thing when connected with Karen - it amplifies her strength and supportive nature when the Wilsons meet Mara.

Hen adn Karen in bed are in dusty versions of blue and pink - Karen innocently tries to touch Mara and that is when the screaming starts. Putting Hen in blue is about relaying her trustworthiness and sets her up as a soothing and calming presence for Mara - hence the sleeping on the floor of her room!

At the hospital, We see Denny in red - he was wearing it when Mara woke the house up and its an indicator of what is about to befall them (in the same way Bobbys red in the cruise ship disaster adn Athenas red in relation to Harry, or Bucks back in s5 when Eddie broke down).

We again have Karen in white amplifying the other colour she is wearing, which in this instance is this buff/brown oversized sleeveless coat in teddy fleece. The brown is stability, dependability and responsibility - playing into the fact this episode really highlights Karen's position in the family as this stable rock which Hen and Denny lean on when they need support. Karen's unswerving and solid personality is once more being shown off. Its really a key thing for them to show as it feels like a set up for Mara and how she is going to bond and rely on Karen and that dependability as she unpacks her trauma.

The orange jumper is a really interesting choice. I do love the loose threads on the design of it - paying into the idea that Hen and Karen are at a loose end and unsure what to do going forward. But, the orange itself is generally an open minded colour, its energetic and its also a colour of transformation. These are all things we know are true of Hen and Karen and it hints at the fact that they will fin a way forward. Once again we have Karen in white amplifying Hen's orange and the energy and idea of transformation the colour brings.

Denim jacket and white tee. I love the distressed nature of this denim jacket and the way it plays into both scenes we see it in - playing into the distress Hen feels over finding out what Mara has gone through and how it explains why she has become non verbal and incredibly protective over her pink blanket.

Again the white of amplification and purity. Hen has pure intentions and the white amplifies Karens black when they are at dispatch listening to the 911 call.

We also have the Karen necklace back - once more showing this ism't about Hen - its about Karen and their family.

Black on Karen for this scene is such a choice. Black is a power colour, it means strength and protection. Here it is showing Karens determination, as she gains understanding, to protect Mara and support her through her trauma - it is representative of Karen choosing to use the power she has been given through gaining information. The gold highlights hint at success.

I love these lavender pyjamas on Karen - lavender is a soothing and sleep inducing colour (along with its scent which is possibly where the association came from for the colour) along with a Japanese print of mountains and trees, which plays into the idea of serenity and peacefulness.

Hen in contrast is wearing fairly bright and bold black and green. The green is all about that growth and learning once more, the growth of Hen and Karen, learning more about the issues Mara faces and seeking a solution, but also the growth of their family. The black is a reflection of power - much in the same way Karen wearing black when they heard the 911 call Mara made, here it is Hen, representing the protection that Hen and Karen are offering Mara.

Athena in green - again with the mesh open weave knit - this may be a theme for her this season - potentially something to do with feeling caged or caging someone/something - especially children as both scenes we've seen it so far have been to do with young people and the law in some respect - ending up in the system - Harry through is crime and Mara through her parents death.

Chim

This dark bottle green with a fawn brown (what I think is a polo) shirt underneath is Chimneys only non uniform costume this week . This kind of dark green, is as always a signal of growth, but its also a colour of harmony, and right now - everything in Chim's world is harmonious.

Maddie

I don't thinkI've said it yet, but I am so happy to have Alayna back dressing Jennifer - I feel like we're really back on track with Maddie's costuming after last season where they somehow managed to make Maddie look terrible. The costuming overall last year was fine - not as good as Alayna's work, but it was for the most part good - except for Maddie where it was all over the place!

Anyway - Maddie in black here is very much about focussing the attention on Hen and Karen - like with CHimney's muted green, in tandem they are making the viewers eye focus on Hen and Karen - especially Karen - who is the brightest in the room.

Maddie wearing this sage green colour when Buck comes out to her is sheer perfection from my perspective - we, once more have the green of growth and renewal, the green of learning - Maddie learning more about her brother - this new thing that he is realising about himself and choosing to share with her (even if inadvertently). But this green is also sage green - sage as in the play on sage advice - which we see Maddie give him. Buck needs that good advice - he needs to hear that its ok, that he can take the time to figure himself out and that its ok that he's only just uncovered this aspect of himself and that it doesn't invalidate him being an ally up to this point!

Ok not going to lie - I got a little carried away from here on out - so sorry in advance for the rambling mess you're about to read!

Marisol

I'm doing Marisol in a weird order - because I wanted to talk about her date night outfit in tandem with Eddies - because its relevant. So we start of with virgin Mary Marisol! Honestly this outfit is just perfection from the costume department - they saw the brief and went to town and I love it. Its so good to see what they can do when they get to play!

One of the things I really love about this costume is the blue that they chose. Because that blue - that is Bucks blue! the virgin Mary blue is usually a much brighter royal blue. It really helps to place Marisol in parallel to Buck and we get the play on t he fact that Eddie seeing Marisol in this way changes everything for him, whilst later on, whilst Buck is in the same blue, he reassures him that nothing will change between them.

Look, I'm not going to lie, when I saw Marisol in blue and yellow for this scene I laughed because Blue and yellow (as I've gone on a million times about) means queer coding so to blatantly put Marisol in it - in a washed out form, and very much connecting her to Catholicism - genius move. It marks her out as a roadblock, but also puts her into the role of beard (unknowingly on her part) because Eddie is still in the midst of his repression, even if it is beginning to unravel now.

The black top with spaghetti straps is clearly a theme they're going with on Marisol, as are the ditsy prints. The yellow high waisted trousers are interesting because of the specific shade of yellow. Yes the whole communication theme still applies here -and we see it in action, but this shade of yellow is sallow and sickly (one of the reasons its called sickly yellow is because its the colour of a lot of medications!!) - this relationship and its restart are ill and that automatically means its going to struggle to survive.

It plays into the more negative meanings around the colour - uncertainty and idleness and cowardice. For me the cowardice aspect is an interesting one in relation to Eddie - he has behaved cowardly up to this point - hiding out and not having the conversations that need to be had, and even in this scene it is Marisol who takes the lead.

It's really giving us an indication of things Eddie needs to work on in regards to himself - and once more it comes down to communication. Communication has always been Eddies major flaw - that he isn't good at it, unless really really pushed into it - essentially under duress. The other thing with communication is that it plays really well into the catholic guilt aspect - this idea that growing up catholic has taught him to repress part of who he is - to go along with what is expected of him, but that it also taught him not to ask for what he needs, to not communicate. We see it in this episode with his inability to say no to Marisol (the whole hiding out at Bucks so he doesn't have to have sex speaks volumes) even down to suggesting there's a third type of guy - who just needs a minute. Because, while that might be true to a certain extent, the fact that he says this off the back of her expressing her distress and upset about how all guys are one of two things, speaks volumes - its not him saying this because that's how he actually feels, its partly him saying it because he is pushed into a position where he doesn't want to be the bad guy. its really not a good place to be restarting a relationship from.

We also have the ditsy print of doom in play again - like I've said before, ditsy print on Eddies girlfriends - never a good sign - its really playing into this idea of Eddie jumping in headfirst with gay abandon (pun intended) and then regretting his life choices. Shannon wore ditsy print a fair amount - especially in the I think I'm pregnant' and 'we should get a divorce' scenes. Ana wore ditsy print A LOT - she was wearing it when Eddie had his panic attack in the shop and at other key moments that marked the death knell for their relationship. And so this appearance of ditsy print here marks the same - the relationship is not long for this world

OK date night Marisol. The way this outfit played out more or less as I expected, She was very much an 'innocent' bystander in this scene (whilst also creating one corner of a triangle with Buck and Eddie) , and the ditsy print very much played into this. Like I said in my promo meta, both Shannon and Ana were costumed in ditsy print as well as in lots of pink!!!

The other aspect of this outfit that is making me laugh is the fact that the skirt is giving me 1980's/early 1990's teen vibes (not to out myself as old but trust me I had some just like this back then and I wouldn't be caught dead in it now as a grown woman!!) and the baby pink handbag looks like something an 8 year old would have to play dress up with - its all very childish and immature - naive one could say, and while it didn't play out quite how I was expecting, her being a novice nun, sure explains a lot of why she comes over as pretty immature.

The other aspect of this childish style we're seeing on her plays into Eddies narrative of looking for magic and trying to recreate what he had with Shannon. He's attracted to Marisol because she is immature and childish - it reminds him of what he had with Shannon when he was young, and when you're trying to recapture that, its easy to fall into the trap of thinking someone behaving in a naive manner is you finding what you'd been looking for. Eddies journey, along side his catholic guilt, is about learning that he cannot recapture or recreate that magic he had when he was young - that the love of youth - in all its innocence is not something that is sustainable or actually what he wants in the present.

Then we have Eddie in white. I spoke in the promo meta about how the white set him and Marisol as opposites and that remains true - very true on more than one level. What I especially love about it and something I could not have predicted is how it plays into the novice nun aspect of their story this episode - truly this show is a comedy! Because nuns wear black and white this is an obvious play on that, but it is also a play on the fact that Marisol is still a practicing catholic, whilst Eddie is very much not. The other aspect of this white is that of Eddies two non uniform costumes, it is the first one and we get this black and white play on religion - the black and white of nuns and priests - the black and white of being religious or not. Eddie never questions if he wants to become a practicing catholic again - he is lapsed and that is how he intends to stay.

Eddie in uniform, with his green trainers, blue towel and water bottle. the blue towel and bottle play into the buck and Eddie blue green theming we see with them. But what is interesting is though is that Eddie is fulfilling all the colour theming on his own - he is both blue and green - to me this is about Eddies own struggles within himself as well as foreshadowing the Eddie Marisol break up down the line (green shoes suggest a road needs to be to walked before we get there) - it hints at Eddies internal struggles and implies that its will ultimately end in a break up a bit further down the line.

I also think it's only when in Uniform that Eddie can admit to his catholic guilt. Because we all know when Eddie is struggling with some form of emotional turmoil, he wears a black singlet - and he could've been wearing the same here, it would've been totally fitting with the situation - he is going through something emotionally and struggling with it.

But he's in his uniform. Part of it is to have him on a different level to Buck - they are both struggling with something in this scene. When we have previously had Buck and Eddie scenes like this one at work, the one dressed in uniform, tends to be the one offering advice to the one not in uniform. That isn't the case here. Part of it comes back to Buck not actually needing advice, but needing to reveal something about himself - to confess. Eddie is the one who needs advice.

This is a flipping of the traditional narrative for these scenes and is proof that even though Eddie might later tell Buck that nothing is going to change between them, that it has in fact already changed, it is just that neither of them are fully cognisant of that change at this moment in time. It is a key indicator to use the audience that this has happened before but that things are not going to play out the same way this time.

Put it this way - Eddie has form for doing something extreme with his relationships with women in the aftermath of Buck doing something dumb - its one of the manifestations of his repression. This time its asking Marisol to move in with him in the immediate aftermath of Buck going full green monster over Tommy.

Last time it was in the aftermath of Buck begins and then doubling down with Ana after the shooting when Buck had hooked up with Taylor and before that in the aftermath of Shannon's death and Buck suing the department he went and joined a fight club - but he has form. Its completely in character for him to pull this sort of a move. I know he says he's going with his gut but I argue he is in fact ignoring his gut - or at the very least confused about what his gut is telling him, because that would mean actually looking at why his gut reaction to Buck doing something dumb makes him do something dumb in turn connected to these women in his life.

Eddie in black - this is the same shirt as the white one - just the reverse colour - which is important. This shirt has several layered meanings to it. its about the reversal of what Eddie wants - from him being bubbly and excited about Marisol moving in, to the dread of her having moved in and wanting her to move out - his feelings go from white to black - light to dark - happy to unhappy and it all sums up the relaity of that relationship - while it was new and unserious, it was fun and light, when things got real - it becomes dark and oppressive.

I'll go into more detail about this shirt when I get to Bucks costume for this scene - because they are connected!

The other thing about this outfit is that the green trousers have been replaced with jeans. Now I see a couple of reasons for the wardrobe department doing this. Firstly is that it plays into the 'nothings is going to change between us' of it all. Its a visual indicator that in fact things have changed (along with Buck wearing a brighter shirt than we normally get in these buddie heart to hearts that take place in Bucks loft but more on that later) the Buck being bi and going on a date with Tommy of it all aside, this is the first time we've actively seen Eddie hiding out at Bucks to avoid his girlfriend - this was a barrier that had existed between them previously that has now been broken down. Then there is the fact that Eddie does go home to Marisol - and he couldn't be wearing green at that point because she was wearing blue and Eddie in green would've meant break up time - only the Marisol as a plot device arc isn't yet over (it will be soon I promise - all the costume signs are there!) so that couldn't happen.

Tommy

This dark olive green shirt that is almost brown. The brown undertones hint at the stability he represents while the green is hinting at his military past and once more paralleling him with Eddie. One of the things about green as a colour is that its not only a symbol of growth and renewal, but its also a colour of learning, and in an episode titled 'You don't know me' it feels like all the green is very much about education - learning about other people - and the growth that results from it. It feels especially important here for Tommy and Buck - that is after all what going on a date it all about - learning about one another and seeing if you're compatible.

The other fun thing about this green shirt is though that the green plays into the blue green colour theory when it comes to Buck and Eddie and their partners and the end of relationships. This one before its had chance to begin.

For Coffee we have a grey Henley and a blue zip front hoodie with a grey striped undertone to it (I am pretty sure this is actually a hoodie we've seen on Chimney but I can't remember when and I don't think it would be the very same one as pretty sure Lou would not be fitting into Kenneths clothes ever, but Chimney has definelty worn the same style!!). Again Henley's are an Eddie thing, so we once more have the parallel with Eddie being drawn.

The interesting thing here is that the grey blue is the same colour combo Buck wore on their first date attempt - the costume department played a lot with flipping colour in this episode, so to have it done here as well is really fun - the fact there is more grey than blue is also interesting. It's a neutral colour, it is seen as a colour of stability, but is also a colour of uncertainty. It really plays into that theme of uncertainty running through the Buck and Tommy arc. The blue hoodie is actually pretty important because we've had one of Buck and Tommy wearing something dark blue in every scene they've had together - usually the one on the back foot. Tommy in this scene is relatively neutral in terms of position for most of this scene - they are equals - but he is put onto the back foot by Buck asking him to be his date to Maddie and Chim's wedding.

Buck

Where to start with our beloved bi disaster!

I obviously spoke a fair amount about the date night shirt in my promo meta. The navy blue knit bowling shirt with these silver/grey close together pinstripes running down the front playing into the Buck wearing vertical stripes theme we've has running with him for at least the last 2 seasons.

What I said about false starts and this date absolutely played out - in the same way the sperm donation shirt represented a false start on that donation, this shirt also represents a false start on Bucks dating life as a bi man. The white trainers are also carrying on the theme of Bucks Journey towards happiness

What I find most interesting about this outfit though isn't colour theory related. its all about the fit of the clothes. Because these are ill fitting on Buck - not something we see from him very often - in fact I think the only time we see him in anything close to ill fitting to this extent is back in season 1 when he was figuring out who he was and if being a firefighter was the right for him and exploring relationships and what he was trying to find in that arena. The trousers are the most ill fitting of it all, but I'll come to the trousers later on as they are part o a wider Buck costume theme we have going on!

The shirt is a little roomie, but not overly so, it just stands out more because we're so used to his shirts fighting for their life, here this one is baggy and really helps to sell the idea of defeat, but also that h was trying on this new part of himself for size and that it doesn't quite fit. It's the only time this episode we see his clothes not fit him in this way and its a really small but expressive part of costuming that I love to see.

Then we have this blue broadcloth jacket over a white tee and with these plum/brown coloured trousers - they're a bit blink and you'll miss them so its hard to be sure what type of trouser they are, but I think they are essentially smart joggers - jersey material but trousers!

We all know that Buck in white means trouble, I'm putting him outing himself to his sister as the bad thing - along with the fact that the date didn't work out.

I'm really fascinated by the fact that we really seem to be leaning into navy blue and Buck being bi. Navy has always been a colour we've seen a lot of on Buck in general, but there is something about the fact we've seen him (or Tommy) wearing it in every single scene that is about his bisexuality. I'm talking from the kiss scene onwards, not anything before that as Buck wasn't aware of his bisexuality before the kiss. I can't wait to see if it continues!

The green shirt jacket is an interesting one. it obviously helps to play into the buck and Eddie blue green theory, but it does in a smaller way play into the blue green theming we see around Buck and Eddie and their relationships - specifically around issues arising. Both Buck and Eddie wear green when they break up with their significant others and while there is no break up here, there is a break of sorts. This was Buck about to try and tell his Best friend that he was actually out on a date with Tommy and that he's bi

symbol of growth - Buck went in with a goal - to tell Eddie he was on a date with Tommy, but changed tack when he saw Eddie needed to go through something - this is Buck growing as a person - not making something about him.

The other thing about this outfit is that its basically the same as the one Eddie wore at the airfield (even down to the badding of the trousers) - just in reverse - Eddie black trousers, black jacket, green top, and here Buck is black trousers, black top and green jacket - I find this fascinating as a metaphor for where the two of them are on their respective journeys.

Buck is now bi and out (he's told his sister) and has been on a date with a guy (regardless how successful it was - he cannot put it back into the box) - his growth is externalised and therefore expressed through the wearing of a green jacket. We get a lot of storytelling through the various Jackets Buck wears (we've seen him in over 35 at this point!)

While Eddie - who we could say was being taken on a date by Tommy - even if he didn't know it (because who flies someone to Vegas to a sold out fight if its not a date??) wearing a much brighter green that we've seen on him before now (pretty much all of his greens are more army green with a couple of exceptions - much darker greens akin to Bucks jacket in the below picture) - still in the army green wheelhouse, but much bolder. Eddie's queer status is still very much internalised - hence it being underneath the black jacket.

Buck coming out to Eddie from a costume perspective was a glorious parallel that I have already mentioned in the promo meta (I've run out of pictures so you'll have to go watch the scene yourself if you want to see what I mean). Its actually a bit deeper that I appreciated in that promo meta, but that is in part because at the time of writing the meta I wasn't 100% sure it was a coming out scene and I didn't get to see the way it was shot and how that also played into the paralleling.

Costume wise - I already spoke above about Eddies black shirt and how it is reversing him in the episode. But what I didn't mention is that fact that it parallels in colour terms, what he was wearing when Buck informed the firefam that Connor and Kameron were pregnant. Eddie wore a black marl henley - black with flecks of dark grey running through it, and Buck here is wearing a slightly darker blue version of the same top he wore in that same scene. He is standing in the same place at the counter of his kitchen, or sitting very close to the same position and we get similar camera angles. As a whole the parallel is very loud - Buck was happy and proud of something he had done and wanted to share it with his friends - wanted their approval. He was feeling good about himself and confident in his decision.

The biggest thing about the blue - this shade specifically is the way it play into the blue theme we saw last season with Buck - the theme that started in the 5x18 finale at Hen and Karens vow renewal, when he was free of Taylor and moving forward and essentially restarting his search for happiness. We saw it weave a thread through the entirety of season 6, being worn at key moments that played into that theme - after Lev died, at various points in the sperm donation arc, and a key points in the aftermath of his death and rebirth.

The successfully helping create life aspect of this is so interesting. It on a low key level plays into the you don’t find it you make it manifesto that’s been at the heart of bucks arc since s2. the whole year if yes was supposed to be about this very thing - about Buck creating the life he wants for himself - the sperm donation isn’t about the baby it’s about Buck and about him figuring out what he’s missing (which comes back to not only Thomas and Mitchell, but also Lev).

The other thing that ties into this theme is that Eddie isn't really changing but Buck is. Whenever we have a scene at the loft between Buck and Eddie Bucks costume and colour varies, but Eddies stays more or less the same. Bucks colour Palette for these scenes goes - dark grey in the you want to go for the title scene, then we have the grey blue on the balcony and now this much lighter blue. This is highlighting Bucks progression while Eddie who remains in his black shirt and that progression - while Eddie essentially remains steadfast - is key - it’s showing us that while buck is still doing dumb things, he is learning - he is listening to whatever Eddie is telling him - that he’s accepting Eddie’s absolution of his sins more and more - growing and understanding.

It’s building on his long running arc - his fear of being left behind, of not being important enough for people to stick around for - and showing us he’s increasingly understanding that that fear is unfounded - that he’s found his personal- the one who will stay and who is steadfast in that. That’s why we see Eddie unchanging in his black shirt green cargos while buck gets lighter - more unburdened by that fear.

Before you think all is lost on the Eddie front though, we are seeing change - the army green trousers are gone and have been replaced with jeans - perhaps, in the same way Bucks growth into his bisexuality began with his beginning to wear jeans again, Eddies own growth into his own queer identity also begins with jeans - moving him away from Eddie the soldier - fighting for others - being a rock for others and now into a position where he can do his own growing.

In the sperm donation arc, Buck was finally able to donate and was wearing that super pale mint green polo. we don't see the same with the outcome here at this point in the story (although the beige/mint green jacket from the bachelor party is making me👀👀👀 at this moment in time!) - we get this cream open weave linen shirt with black and terracotta and golden brown vertical stripes.

I love that they went with a shirt that has such an open weave - playing into the whole concept of Buck being open and embracing this newly revealed part of him that he's discovered. But what I love most about this shirt is the way it ties back into the Buck learning to accept himself and find his happiness.

Because this shirt is so similar to the one from 6x01 - when he decides he doesn't need a new couch, what he needs is to be ok on his own and with himself.

lets talk Buck and his trousers because the trousers are a whole thing this season and I am truly in love with the long game the wardrobe department have been playing on this one. They know that we have all been out here raising eyebrows at Bucks trousers for the past few seasons as they've gotten shorter and shorter and ill fitting. I know I've made comments in previous costume metas about the fact they must be doing something intentional with them being so short in the leg - that them doing this is giving the appearance of a child who is still in short trousers and isn't fully grown - hasn't moved on to wearing full length trousers yet.

Well it would seem I was right and thats exactly what they were doing, putting him in short trousers to show that he wasn't his fully formed self - that he was growing and learning and figuring things out. because - I've gone back through my spreadsheet and checked his trousers out for all of his scenes and there are only a handful where he has trousers on that are well fitted and the correct length. One of them is at the start of season 6 - at the end of the episode where he moves his armchair instead of getting a new couch - the one time in season 6 we see him most at peace with himself

I remarked in the 7x04 meta that we only saw Buck in his too short trousers in the one scene at the airfield, and from then on, he was was in jeans. Now the jeans are a mimicking thing - Buck hasn't worn stone wash jeans since Eddie appeared on the scene back at the start of season 2, so for him to start wearing them again as soon as he becomes jealous of Eddie and Tommy - and Tommy is wearing jeans - was pretty telling in its own right. It's Buck trying to get Eddies attention (not Tommys - Eddies) because, we do not see Eddie in jeans in 7x04 - but we do see Tommy in them - and in Bucks head he is loosing Eddies attention to a guy wearing stone wash jeans - so if he wears stonewash jeans then maybe he'll get Eddies attention back.

That obviously didn't work out how Buck thought it would, but it did lead to him figuring a new part of himself out.

We can see how his trousers are all now sitting at the correct length, I grabbed this still of the black ones, and you can see in the full length still from the date those are as well (even if they're too big more generally) but the others are all sitting at the correct length as well.

We also see the jeans back for his scene with Tommy - I truly am fascinated by the choice to put him back in stonewash jeans aafter so long as a theming choice for his bisexuality, I really am enjoying this more relaxed looking Buck from a costuming perspective - the journey we've been on with his costumes is great - the increasingly formal style thats just a little too small and tight we've seen over the seasons now slowly relaxing once more into something much more comfortable and well fitted - showing just how far he has truly come.

And thats me out for another week! Sorry it turned into another epic - it would seem `i cant stop myself! Not sure if this has come out longer than last weeks, I think it might've, but I can't be bothered to check! Thank you as always for reading this monster and I hope you enjoyed this deep dive into the costumes for 7x05. I'm off now to hyperfixate on Bucks bathroom door and get myself though this mini hiatus!

Tagged people below

@theladyyavilee @gracieryder @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @bewilderedbuckley @spotsandsocks

@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @rogerzsteven @wanderingwomanwondering @oneawkwardcookie @leothil @copyninjabuckley @shammers86 @crazyfangirlallert @missmagooglie @katyobsesses @radiation-run @gayandbifiremenofmine @bi-moonlight @crazyaboutotps @princesschez75 @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sherlocking-out-loud @satashiiwrites @lover-of-mine @yramesoruniverse @extasiswings @favouritealias @pop-kam

#kym costume meta #costume meta #911 costume meta #911 colour theory #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 abc #hen wilsom #karen wilson #maddie buckley #chimney han #Tommy Kinard #long post #kym writes things #deep dive

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lesbiansforboromir · 9 months ago

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I am sorry, but LOTRO is...like a LOTR game? The plot is good? It has which characters?

HAH you know that's such a good question, didn't even think to explain it properly.

LOTRO is an MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role playing game), think World of Warcraft-esque. It's about 15 years old so it's a little on the dated side graphics wise and it's gameplay is essentially landscape exploration and combat, with group content that goes from three-person dungeons to full 12-person raids.

BEING a 15 year old game the plot is... enormous. Like its hard to even talk about a 'plot' at this point, since there are about 30 different individual storylines for each zone strewn throughout a multitude of quests that see you talking to every character imaginable. Like 'which characters does it have'? all of them, LOTRO has all characters from lotr in it. LOTRO has characters you don't even remember in it. In LOTRO you get major questlines from Denethor's two unnamed elder sisters. In LOTRO they make you care about the men named amongst the dead in the song of lament after the pelennor fields, people you never speak too in the books.

You create a character and choose your race and begin to journey from the furthest west (Ered Luin, the Shire, Bree or Cardolan depending on choices) to the furthest east and act as a side character to the main plot of lotr. You cross paths with the fellowship at various points and develop relationships with all of them, up to and past the death of sauron (currently the game has expanded into Umbar, months after Sauron's defeat in game canon.) All of the game's story is told through quest dialogue, which you have to read, it's a hell of a lot of reading, whether thats reading what people are saying to you when you accept a quest or reading what NPC's are saying to you within quest instances and 'cutscenes'.

So there is an overarching plot, called 'epic book quests', which will take you on this journey, but it is dwarfed by the sheer number of surrounding tales going within each area you visit. Dunland is an excellent example, you have to travel through it to get to Rohan but what you're doing whilst you're there is investing yourself in the struggles, politics, dangers and cultures of the people who live in Dunland. And that is true for every area you visit, which inevitably makes LOTRO a massive worldbuilding and expanding project for middle earth. Like it's really hard to put into words quite how much 'plot' there is in this game. Some of it is good, some of it is not so good, some of it is so good it makes me want to bite the game, some of it is so bad it makes me want to bite the game, you will find 30 favourite plots and 30 hated plots and 100+ more in the middle.

Of course, this means LOTRO also creates it's own characters to fit into the world and get attached too, many of whom I now love and care for just as much as original canon characters. Like fucking Ayorzen. Oh my god. I love Ayorzen. You only meet him at level 110 in mordor and it takes you real life months of questing to reach that point. Not anything repetetive either, you do not grind exp in this game unless you actually want too, there are just that many quests and storylines between you and mordor that it takes you months to finish them all. Are some of the epic book quests kinda superfluous and make you run around way too much? Yes. I don't care about them, the point of lotro is in the smaller stories you find along the way. The game is about being able to walk, by yourself, no loading screens, from the Shire to Mordor and beyond and experience the minutae of middle-earth living whilst you do it. Hope that somehow answers your questions!

Oh it's also a dress up game, forgot to mention that, the lotro devs will disagree but this is a dress up game except you're dressing up TO journey through middle earth and you can unlock multiple outfit slots to customise that you can change your character into whenever you like, no restrictions on what you can put on your outfits regardless of levels or classes so long as you have wardrobe space. Unfortunately the game's armours are ugly as sin until level 50, though happily that's a shorter trip than it sounds, early game goes by much faster than the post-50 stuff.

#chats #Anonymous #lotro

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michanvalentine · 1 month ago

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So, I played Baldur's Gate 3, and I played it later than many others. All thanks (or perhaps it would be better to say fault?) of a friend who told me "you absolutely have to play it"! And so I did, completely losing myself in the world of Faerûn. It was really difficult to reconcile my duties as a wife and mother with the desire to play and discover everything about the plot and the characters. In fact, it took me forever to finish! Also because I am the classic player who has to go and sift through every single jar, corner or place forgotten by the gods to make sure I don't leave anything out. I'll start by saying that I played it completely blind and that it was a heroic playthrough. So here I am with my thoughts after finishing my first run.

Morween: Hi! I am a Seldarine drow. I am a cleric of Selûne. I'm a heroine! I spit in my father Bhaal's face and I'm proud of it! Oops! I accidentally killed an innocent bard...

I don't want to talk about the game and how well made it is in its entirety. We all know this, I think. I only need to talk about my very personal relational experience with the character who won me over despite my resistance.

In a roundabout way, while I was trying to conquer the beautiful Shadowheart, I found myself in a relationship with Astarion. I had fun with him at the tiefling party more out of curiosity than anything else, plus I didn't even think he liked me and that it was just fun for him too. Up until that moment we had done nothing but argue and clash over our respective visions of the world. And the “disapprove” message was constantly over my head (along with that of Lae'zel)! Nonetheless, having him around was a delight for this reason too (in addition to the fact that I found his jokes funny). The contrast and our discussions made the interactions seem particularly real to me...

I wanted to talk with him. First of all because I found our hypothetical conversations about getting killed or which of our companions to drink extremely funny. But I wanted to understand. And I wanted him to understand too. And every time I saw "the glimmer" I felt even more motivated to bring out everything he had inside. A lot of stuff, I later discovered...

Obviously at the beginning, as a player, I was trying to understand how the game worked and my female Durge was trying to understand who the people around her were and where their misadventure would lead her. So I only understood many things later!

Morween: Wait, ehm… Whaaat?!?! Am I the weird one or... no, never mind.

In any case, when Astarion thanked me for not giving him up to the blood merchant, I wanted to make this clear to him, so I selected the "I care about you" dialogue option. But I honestly didn't realize that this would mark the beginning of my relationship with him. Afterwards I didn't feel like reloading. Even if I had to abandon the beautiful Shadoweart (with whom I had only shared a bottle of wine and a passionate kiss until then). I thought that things had happened that way for a reason and my game, my choices, had naturally led me that way. Honestly, I had to stop with Gale too, because even my favorite wizard didn't disdain the company of Bhaal's offspring too much. And it broke my heart, because every single one of them deserves to be loved, dammit!

Morween: We got problems, you and I. Big. Deadly. Serious problems. But we're also so dangerously cute together!

What followed was an intense journey full of very strong emotions, as I think it was for everyone who played Baldur's Gate 3. I became attached to my traveling companions as if they were friends in the flesh. And of course I ended up falling madly in love with my pixelated vampire boyfriend.

He's truly a well-rounded character. The thing that literally drives me crazy is that he's a fucking vampire, a real one. A vampire who acts like a vampire and has all the instincts of a vampire. He likes killing, the smell of blood intoxicates him, he has a hunger that devours him from the inside, and he can very well lose control. Finally! An accurate and truthful depiction of what it means to be a vampire. And not just a spicy detail to add to a story for horny teenagers. So the character of Astarion earned admiration points from me. Why? Because despite everything he is able to travel with different "blood bags" without necessarily attacking them and sucking them to the core. It takes great willpower to keep such appetites at bay. And yes, I know, there's that first night when the pale elf tries to attack you while you are sleeping... but hey, surprise of surprises, everyone makes mistakes. Few are those who learn from mistakes. And Astarion is more than willing to learn, another of his qualities, and he is willing to do so throughout the entire journey!

Morween: Yeah, sure, I could judge him... If I hadn't also tried to kill him while he slept...

Side note, when the urge calls and Astarion finds himself in the same situation, he is ready to forgive Durge's mistake in the blink of an eye. Because he knows, dammit. What's more, he is willing to stay there, next to them, to help them control themself. And there I thought: fuck, I want to be there for him too.

Of course Astarion has his own personality, his own flaws; and I love him for it. He's a chronic liar, yes, and he's quite selfish with a nice propensity for lust for power. All perfectly explainable and understandable, considering his past. I was shocked at the amount of abuse he had to endure. I didn't expect it, not so deep, not so real and so detailed, especially for the psychological aspects and the reaction to trauma, considering we're talking about a character from a video game. And my heart broke. 200 fucking years under Cazador. It's no wonder he's a broken man, but not finished. And it's wonderful to see his survival instinct gradually transform into a real desire to live. He is a dangerous man (elf?) but the moment you realize that he can change, he can be rehabilitated, he can heal and be better (up to a certain point, he is still a vampire, a predator with the instinct of kill and with a passion for blood), you know it was worth it. No matter if as a friend or a lover, you are the hero he has been waiting for 200 years. And, for heaven's sake, when he trusts you completely he is capable of unprecedented sweetness and sensitivity. Of course he's still the scoundrel with the sharp tongue and easy sarcasm, but after all that's why he's adorable!

Morween: I confess, Mother Superior, saving the innocent is right, but it is too obvious and easy. Redeeming the bad guys is sooooo much better, that's a real challenge! What heroine would I be otherwise? How do you say... you are not interested? Yes, right... let's talk about Shadowheart.

So when at the end of his quest he thanked me for saving him from himself (even though I only gave him a nudge), with that honest smile on his lips, my satisfaction was immense. He knows, he appreciates, he has grown. He knows exactly what loving him means and is grateful for it. It took patience and a lot of trust, even when it was an objectively stupid thing to do. It took the ability and the will to go further, to see something in him, that he could be better, and to believe in him. Believing that he was enough just the way he is. This is loving someone and making them feel loved. And it was a beautiful conclusion to his story arc.

It also took a lot of delicacy, I would add. I played the entire game and experienced my relationship with the character of Astarion with the concrete feeling that losing him would have been very easy. After all, running away, hiding, even attacking, are perfectly natural responses to fear. And as we know he is legitimately terrified of everyone.

About this: when I met Sebastian it was another shock for me. I wasn't prepared. The whole sequence is heartbreaking, but what blew my brain was the response I got from Astariom when I asked him if Sebastian had hurt him.

God. In my mind the picture suddenly became untenable. No god answered his prayers, no hero deigned to save him and the only worthy salvation for him would still have been a stake in the heart because he was considered a monster. Cazador forced him into prostitution and when he was lucky enough he only had to live with the horrible knowledge that he had delivered another innocent victim into the hands of his master. Otherwise even his own targets would do violence to him, as most were not good people. And maybe in case of a failed delivery, Cazador would also punish him later. It is no surprise that he has learned to completely dissociate himself from everything, to become numb to the events and people around him.

For him everything and everyone was suffering.

And another thing that I really appreciated was the possibility that the game gives you to allow Astarion to rediscover himself and his relationship with others, to experiment with his own limits within a finally safe space (the camp, the companions, Tav/Durge).

In any case, for me it was a truly satisfying experience. I regret nothing, not even releasing 7,000 vampiric spawn into the underdark. Perhaps this is also why I was surprised when by browsing through various social media I come across so many cruel comments and harsh opinions regarding the character of Astarion. Everyone has their own sensibilities and tastes, obviously. But damn... how much repressed anger and aggression...

Anyway, I could go on for hours writing, but a treatise on the phenomenology of the Astarion was not my project! I just wanted to vent my fangirl soul a little and share my experience with you.

I'm currently starting my second run as Astarion. My plan is to conquer the beautiful Shadowheart without a certain someone getting in the way. Maybe, if my daughter and husband don't abandon me on the highway first, I might even consider a third adventure to sink into Gale's arms (and library)! I still feel sooooo guilty for dumping him, he seemed really hurt.

But for now... and they all lived happily ever after...

#astarion #astarion ancunin #dark urge #durge #bg3 durge #astarion x durge #baldur's gate iii #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 #bg3 screenshots

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tiredtxmblrvet · 9 months ago

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Fic Rec Friday

Thanks again to @mediumgayitalian for the idea!

Below are 5 fics I've enjoyed this past week/recently.

IT'S A SCREAM, BABY! by @rosyredlipstick

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45360994

Summary:

It’s June 1984, Prince is at the top of the charts, and Nico di Angelo has spent the last three weeks scratching at mosquito bites and herding around a group of elementary school kids—and somehow it’s been the best summer of his life. - “Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake!” Jason yelled over, ever-polite.

Okay I'm back with another Rosy rec. When I tell you this story literally captured me within the first paragraph and held me in a vice grip the entire time. I literally started the beginning and went "now this is how you start a story" and then couldn't put it down. This is a horror/slasher AU, but none of the major characters die! It's a love letter to a lot of horror films, so if you're in to that sort of thing, I'd totally recommend. Or if you're like me and don't really watch horror, I'd still recommend because it's that good. Also once again Will and Nico's dynamic is top tier in this fic, and I really love Will's POV.

The Other "Heroes" by SirOliverSurface

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29528811

Summary:

Percy Jackson had seen weird before. Swimming in the River Styx to gain invincibility to fight the Titan lord of time was "weird". Getting your memory wiped by the goddess of marriage and family in a gambit to unite Greek and Roman demigods was "weird". Having a spiritual attachment to blue food was... well... completely understandable, no matter how much Leo joked about it. But this? This is "weird".

When a battle goes wrong, and magic goes wild, the son of Poseidon and Hero of Olympus finds himself dumped in a world that seems strangely familiar. The Greek Gods are still around, the old myths were really true, all seems well. But one thing has changed: the people he's come to love. And it doesn't take long for him to figure out that these new faces all miss someone else, too; Hero of Olympus, and daughter of Poseidon, Percie Jackson.

This is Percabeth centric, with Solangelo as a side ship, but this story is so good. Granted, I'm only about 150k in, but the writing has captivated me, and the adventure our heroes go on is fascinating to me. Plus I just love the "other" versions of all the heroes. Will I ever be able to finish it? Maybe in 2 years, but hey! It's my go-to fall back on fic when I'm running out of things to read. (It's 1.2 million words!)

August by CordeliaRose

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49031647

Summary:

Somehow, Nico's life only gets more confusing after he defeats a primordial Goddess.

Will Solace accounts for about 90% of that confusion.

(A journey through August, and all its ups and downs.)

I just had to rec this story, as I am about to re-read it only a couple of weeks after finishing it the first time because it's just that good. This follows the rest of August after the end of BoO, and the way Will and Nico's relationship develops is just absolutely stunning. Also Nico and Will are autistic coded in this story and it just makes me beyond happy.

peach tea by ghosttotheparty

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48987730

Summary:

He sits up after a moment, but Nico doesn’t let go of his fingers, so he lifts the arm that’s awkward between them and sets it behind Nico, leaning back to rest on it. Nico just looks at the tapestry.

Will brushes his thumb over the side of Nico’s hand gently. His skin is soft. Nico’s fingers tighten on Will’s. It kind of feels like neither of them wants to move. Will doesn’t mind.

or; Will falls in love with the new kid.

I love the way ghosttotheparty writes intimacy, just, warm, soft, fragile moments that have such a wonderful air to them. I'm not usually one for high school AU's, but I love their characterization of Will and Nico so much that I just had to try this story, and I'm so glad I did. There's a particular scene where Will helps Nico down from a panic attack, and it just made me want to cry it was so well done. Just a lovely story.

Safe (better keep that thought to yourself) by @buoyantsaturn

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42721455

Summary:

Nico figured he was probably overprepared, but it was better to be safe than sorry, especially when leaving his child with some guy he barely knew and a kid he’d never met.

God, he hoped Will wasn’t some kind of psychopath.

I'm back again with another one of CJ's lovely works. I'd been looking for a cute Parent!Nico and Parent!Will kidfic, and this story absolutely delivers. The way that both Will and Nico stumble around each other is so endearing in this story, and their kids are JUST the cutest!! I absolutely recommend this story.

Okay that's all! I'll probably keep doing this until I run out of fics to recommend. Have a good friday lovelies!

#percy jackson #solangelo #pjo #nico di angelo #percy jackon and the olympians #will solace #percy jackson and the olympians #fic recs #fanfic recommendations

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boilbluedenim · 9 months ago

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Over the liminal mindscape

I love and hate how this show's ending is completely left up to interpretation, mainly because of Wirt and Greg's potential deaths and how that makes me feel about the show as a whole. It attaches a sort of bittersweet feeling to it which I'm not too sure about. more on that soon though.

Anyway, when paying even just an inkling of attention to this show, you can almost immediately connect the dots and come to the conclusion that none of the adventures (for the most part) actually happened. This conclusion is heavily drawn from the frames we see at the very beginning, of Wirt, Greg, and Jason Funderburker (the frog) drowning. (ep 1)

and from the frames where Wirt wakes up in the water after having said goodbye to Beatrice, saving his brother and the frog by carrying them both out of the water. (ep 10)

Taking into account that Wirt, Greg, and Funderburker all fell into the water moments before almost getting hit by a train, which we discover in episode 9; Into The Unknown, I think it's pretty safe to assume that this is, in fact, the case and that OTGW takes place in either a mental space or a physical limbo, occurring while they are all in the process of drowning.

Another thing I'd like to mention is that OTGW is heavily based off of Dante's Inferno, which, in the simplest of summaries, is a poem about a journey that begins in a forest, leads through hell, and eventually into heaven, hence the theorized death I mentioned earlier. It's actually pretty easy to spot where these references and homages lie, for example, the formula of the story is somewhat similar, and the characters take on similar roles. (for example, Virgil: Beatrice/Woodsman(?)or even Greg in some cases, Beatrice: Sara, Dante: Wirt.) (please read Inferno or a summary of it to fully understand this if you haven't already because it's actually really interesting).

Rewatching OTGW with this in mind led me to realize a lot of things that I originally passed off as unique writing choices with no actual meaning behind them. Then again that could be the case but what's the fun in assuming that?

Upon entering the unknown, we're launched into a universe with a seemingly ever-changing time period. Characters talk funny and fancy, dress and act as if they're from the 1600s-1700s, and none of our protagonists seem particularly fazed by this (except for Beatrice, occasionally) with Greg using a phrase such as "brother o'mine" and Wirt's dramatic poetic rambles. Everything feels very inspired while also being all over the place, almost as if it's been composed from memories, lying in the pits of somebody's mind...

Wirt is a Huge Nerd.

If I am to believe that this show takes place in one of our protagonists' minds, which I do in fact believe, then I would say that that protagonist has to be Wirt. Wirt has a tendency to go on poetic spiels, even dropping two of them in the very first episode. Accompanied by his teenage boy dread (being a nerd at 14 is tough) and his overextending knowledge about curious things, which he showcases in his exclaim at Beatrice's ability to talk and his comment about one of the rooms in Endicott's mansion (below), It becomes a glaring possibility that OTGW is primarily from Wirt's point of view, with the Unknown existing solely in his head.

I've actually seen this point argued before, with some people mentioning the black turtles on the poster in Wirt's room or just his entire room in general. However, if true, that doesn't really answer the question of whether the unknown exists as a physical space or a mental one, having no supernatural effects on the real world.

2. The Implications of the Bell

Okay, so, listen.

I hate to be the kind of person who goes "Well it's probably just a fun and silly bit that doesn't actually mean anything." but I'm gonna be that person anyway, or at least I'm not going to assume character death because I don't want to and free will is a thing blablablabla. I will however be serious for a second and try to provide a tangible reason for why I think this scene doesn't have any real-world implications.

For one, this scene immediately jumpcuts to a voiceover, followed by scenes that serve as conclusions for the stories of the characters we've met along the way, all of them being positive. I think this serves the purpose of letting us know the story did in fact have a good ending, with Wirt learning how to treat his brother with respect. I also think that ties into the theory above.

Not only does the unknown serve as a mental limbo but it also serves as a lesson for Wirt in particular. This journey is riddled with self-critique, characterized as Beatrice, all the while Wirt is drowning and realizing he's not only failed himself but his brother as well.

3. The Beast

Surprisingly I haven't mentioned the beast yet even though he's very important to the story. The beast represents a couple of things, one being death and two being the overarching, real-world problem. Those may sound like the same thing, and honestly, they are depending on what you think the problem is. To me, it's Wirt's relationship with, and treatment of Greg in the real world that bleeds into the universe of the unknown.

The exchange that Wirt has with the beast at the end of episode 10 fully encapsulates his character growth. The characters his mind has created have actually taught him something, that being; wallowing in sorrow and accepting your fate is just going to lead you further down this winding path, or in this case, to the bottom of this lake. You will never get home.

Unlike I've seen others suggest, this is not a story of a boy failing and dying while so wrapped up in his own fantasy, eventually residing in a false heaven. Instead, everything is put back where it needs to be.

From the forest, through the unknown, and finally, back home.

#ramblings #over the garden wall #otgw #I havent written since september help

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fangswbenefits · 11 months ago

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Hi! I'm normally not a smut reader - not because I consider it weird, it's just that I like plot and character development, and see how relationships evolve through ups and downs and smut usually doesn't cover these things. However! The Arrangement is sooooo good. I love the slow-ish progression between the two mc. The scenes are well-written and emotional too! And the plot is so cool! Looking forward to more!

Unrelated, but how do you think Astarion would feel with a Tav who won't have sex with him 'cus she needs to know him more and have an emotional attachment before doing the deed. With Karlach he gets all pissy, so I think he'd get very annoyed his plan isn't working, but then when they eventually do it and he realises Tav actually knows him and all his issues and still decides to go for it with him he'd just melt.

I once got an ask complaining that they were moving too fast, and I actually took a seat to acess this. Then realised that them being touchy with each other stems from the fact that they are familiar with each other. Their relationship was established off-screen (I do complement it with flashbacks to provide more context and to flesh them out, either as individuals or together).

This journey of intimacy doesn't start with them getting to know each other over a period of time. They already do. They momentarily drifted apart because, sometimes, it takes more than friendship and will of power to fix centuries of trauma and the repercussions that ensue.

It's pretty much established in canon (though I am merely mentioning it cause I am a canon gremlin lol but to each their own!) that unromanced Spawn Astarion does wonder what things might have been between you two (if you break up). He's also the only origin character who does this.

Essentially, he never really forgets you (which makes total sense given how important you were to his journey), so it was easy to use that to flesh them out in TA.

As much as I love sexual intimacy, I'm a sucker for the unspoken words of devotion that are said through acts of love. Hand-holding.... loyalty... protectiveness... respecting boundaries... of course, miscommunication is bound to happen when some wounds are still healing, but they are slowly working through that 🫂

(woah this got loooooong..... sorry 😅 and thank you for giving my story a try 🩷)

#answered ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾#the arrangement

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winterchimez · 6 months ago

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Redemption of Love - Chapter 4

SUMMARY: Choi Chanhee—better known as the Phantom of the Opera, has dominated the Paris Opera House with his lifelong partner, Christine Daae, for years. Until one fateful day, an incident forces them to be separated and never to be reunited again.

Decades later, you have begun your journey here at the famous opera house with the help of your fiancé, Lee Sangyeon. After several performances, it was then that you would come face-to-face with the renowned phantom himself, and he is determined to never let you go again, convinced that you were his long-lost partner whom he has not seen in many years.

It is now your choice to make. To give your heart to the once-forgotten phantom? Or to stand firm and marry the love of your life.

PAIRING: phantom of the opera Chanhee x singer f!reader x fiancé Sangyeon

GENRE & WARNINGS: phantom of the opera au, angst, supernatural, thriller, crime, fluff, time travel, reincarnation, major & minor character deaths, otome, pg-13

WORD COUNT: 2,635

A/N: and we're back with the series! im so sorry that it took me forever to update this, but im slowly getting back into it so pls bear with me as updates will be slow 😭 but i promise you she is not forgotten!! 💗

“Say, what makes you so attached to this Opera House?”

The male looked down upon the female lying peacefully in his outstretched arms. As the girl turned to focus all her attention on him, he couldn’t help but smile at the love of his life.

“Well for one, I built this place and have been residing here ever since. My dream and goal was to spread my love for music and performing after all,” he responded before planting a light kiss on the female’s forehead.

“Was it your dream to ever make it this far? I mean, it has become one of the most famous theatres in Europe at this point.”

“No, I have not. I am beyond grateful for everything that has happened up till now, and it is also thanks to you that made all of this possible.”

The female immediately blushed before hiding herself in the crook of the male’s neck. “Stop, you know that’s not true.”

“But it is,” he chuckled before gently pulling the female away as he locked his eyes with hers again.

“I love you. Please stay by my side forever.”

“Likewise. I love you too, Chanhee.”

Chanhee? Who exactly was that—

“Y/N!!!”

You were returned to reality the moment you arrived in your dressing room. It must have been a long time running through the countless mazes to find your way back to the surface. Just when you thought it would be impossible to find your way back, that vision you just had suddenly flashed across your mind, something you couldn’t explain in words even if you wanted to.

Who exactly were the two people lying down on the field of grass in your vision?

More specifically, who was the man named Chanhee?

Before you could process your thoughts, you were greeted by the sight of your fiancé, who stood with his eyes wide open and jaw ajar, shocked to see you were back just like that.

Sangyeon immediately pulled you in for an embrace, hugging you tight and making sure not to let you go anytime soon.

“Where have you been, Y/N? We have been looking for you for two days straight!”

Two days? You were gone for that long?

Sure, you were glad to be back with your fiancé, but this time, you must ensure your message got across to Sangyeon. Pushing him away slightly, you grabbed both of his shoulders before staring right into his eyes.

“Sangyeon. Please. You have to believe me this time.”

It has been several days since you returned to the Opera House, and things have been pretty quiet. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to convince Sangyeon once again even though you managed to recite all of your experiences from the beginning till the end—how a mysterious man emerged from the mirror and took you down into the depths of the underground Opera House, and how there was a maze full of passageways, up to the man’s lair down below.

You tried your best to voice your concerns to the rest of the cast members of the Opera House, including Avaleigh, but to no avail. Nobody was going to believe your little stories—thinking that you were beyond exhausted to have come up with such hallucinations.

Because of that, you decided there was no point in trying to prove everything, and you quietly resumed your performance for a couple of weeks.

Until Madame Indivus finally made her grand return today.

As all of you were rehearsing for the next show, the doors to the theatre burst open, revealing a rather upset Madame Indivus stomping her feet as she made her way up onto the stage.

Immediately, she walked right up to you before pointing at you furiously, screaming at the top of her lungs. “What exactly is this mere country girl doing here? This is my show, my role!”

Flustered, you couldn’t say a word until Mr Arnaud and Mr Arquette had to step in to talk things out with Madame. It was pretty obvious that the whole conversation wasn’t looking that great—it was a rather heated one, to be exact. Mentally, you were already preparing for the worst to happen, and sure enough, it was right for you to do so.

After that uneventful discussion, both Mr Arnaud and Mr Arquette had no choice but to put you on backstage duty as Madame insisted that she was to have the lead role for the rest of the season and that you were in no way to take a step close to her at all.

Upset would have been an understatement for you, especially when you have worked so hard to land the lead role yourself for the past few weeks. It was stripped off you almost immediately after you had not been under the spotlight for long.

Depressed, you acted as if everything was alright as you continued your job backstage, giving the cast as much support as needed.

At least I am still given a place here at the Opera House.

Little did you know that someone lurking behind the shadows was absolutely furious with the sudden change of plans. He was going to make sure that you got back up on stage, even if he had to choose violence himself.

The hall was once again filled with way more spectators this time, especially when the infamous Madame Indivus was now back as the lead star of the Opera House. There was no doubt that both Mr Arnaud and Mr Arquette were glad to have her back despite her manipulating the two owners most of the time.

You could only sigh as you arranged the props from backstage, thinking that your little glamorous era had abruptly ended just like that, and you’d never get to be back on stage anymore while Madame Indivius was here.

To make matters worse, Madame Indivus most likely seemed to be about getting her revenge on you since you “stole” her spotlight. Every time she returned backstage, you had to quickly fetch her a glass of water and polish her newly designed shoes for the performance.

As much as you could defy her, you weren’t ready or wanted her to make a ruckus, which would affect all the crew members. Instead, you brushed it off while the anger within you slowly started to bottle up.

Avaleigh tried her best to help cheer you up—encouraging you that you’ll just have to wait for the storm to pass, and it’ll be fine. You could only return a weak smile as you knew that she had to look out for you while focusing on her role as a dancer.

In a blink of an eye, the show had already reached its climax, and Madame Indivus was about to head back out to stand at the centre of the stage to sing her final piece for the night. However, she would only receive countless murmurs instead of a standing ovation with her final performance for the night.

A horrible and loud croak came out of her mouth instead of her singing the song, ruining the entire piece simultaneously. It was clear that Madame herself was confused with what was happening, but she decided that the show must go on.

In reality, the croaking sound only got worse and louder, and eventually, one of the curtains from the side of the stages came crumbling down and made a loud thump as it fell directly on the stage.

The murmurs were now slowly turning into screams, and the audience was rightfully starting to panic and ready to leave the hall immediately.

Madame tried to call them back, but only the croaking sound would emerge from her throat. It was as if her vocal cords had completely betrayed her. Terrified, Madame too ran backstage and straight down the hallway to her dressing room, leaving behind a whole ruckus and chaos to unfold within the Opera House.

There was no way this could go on, for the Opera House’s reputation could be ruined forever. Just as you were taking in everything unfolding in front of your eyes, you were suddenly tugged on the shoulder by someone before you were dragged out to the stage.

“Child, you listen to me very closely right now. Go out there and give your best performance and stop the chaos,” you said. Turning back, you saw that the voice belonged to Madame Matilda, the one in charge of the dancers.

“B-But, it’s all a mess right now! I don’t think singing would do-”

“Just listen to me and do it!” Madame Matilda silently screamed before she pushed you right onto the stage, gesturing you to start immediately without wasting another second.

You weren’t too sure about what to do in the situation you were in—singing when the audience was leaving the hall in a panic state? You have got to be insane for doing that.

But it seemed as if Madame Matilda was persistent, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. She continued to wave her hands to cue you to start singing out loud at this moment.

Taking a deep breath, you mustered up all of your courage and began to sing out loud, hoping that this could calm the audience and all the crew members down.

Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye. Remember me once in a while - please promise me you'll try. When you find that, once again, you long to take your heart back and be free - if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me

Sure enough, a few audience members turned their heads back towards the stage to see the former star of the Opera House singing with all her heart and soul without having a look of fear in their eyes.

As you saw that you have captured their attention, you instantly regain the confidence you once had and continue to proceed. More of the audience began to turn their backs and eventually started filling the hall seats again, wanting to witness the sweet, young singer doing their very best to keep the show going.

You weren’t too sure what was going on. Still, you definitely felt that your voice was getting louder each second and that your angelic voice was becoming a lot more prominent as you went on—turning the frightened look on all of the audience members into a smile.

Soon enough, you finished the performance without fail and received a standing ovation from the now-filled hall. The audience was clapping harder than they had done in your previous shows and for Madame Indivus’s, making you bow profusely and repeatedly to show your appreciation.

With that, Mr Arnaud and Mr Arquette immediately went to the front stage to address the complications throughout the show and compensate the audience. Meanwhile, it was your cue to finally step down and head backstage, slowly making your way to your dressing room.

As you opened the door to your room, your eyes widened at the scene before you.

The long mirror was being pushed open again, leaving a clear view of the dark alleyway you had once been down there recently. A good amount of smoke came out from the mirror—making the atmosphere feel much more eerie than it already was.

And of course, the man with the mask was back—leaning against your chair with his arms crossed as his eyes fell straight onto you.

“Well, it seemed that Madame Matilda had done the right thing,” the man replied as he finally got up to walk straight towards you, making you retreat quickly and move to the side before he could touch you.

Instead, he walked behind you and closed the dressing room door, leaving you trapped within the room you had always found to be your safe space. Adrenaline instantly rushed over you, and you quickly took a few steps back until your back hit the wall at the room's corners.

“W-Why are you here…?” You merely let out a squeak instead of asking a proper question. The memories instantly came flooding back when you were essentially captured by this guy and brought down to his lair.

There was just something about him that made your skin crawl. Was it because of his aura or his demeanour? Or was it because he could enter your dressing room easily from the mirror just like that whenever he wanted to?

Or rather, because you have once taken off the mask and saw the true horrors behind that shield of his?

As much as you wanted to scream for help this time and especially call out for your fiancé, you just can’t open your mouth and say the simple word. It was as if this masked man had you under control, and you felt helpless in your situation.

Slowly, the man was beginning to take a few steps forward, and this time, he was certainly walking straight towards you. It was too late for you to move now since you had been potentially cornered by the time he was merely inches away from you.

This is the end of me.

You could only keep your eyes shut tightly as you kept muttering those words quietly, thinking that there was no escape and that this was where you would meet your demise.

Or at least that was what you thought.

“Christine, please come with me. Let me explain everything that has happened. I do not wish to hurt you,” the man pleaded.

That came as a shock to you as you opened your eyes to see that he wasn’t the scary, creepy stranger that he was when you first opened the door. Now, there seemed to be sorrow in his eyes, and he slumped down as if he were in defeat.

You weren’t too sure what to make of the situation, but as long as he wasn’t hurting you nor putting you in grave danger, that was all that mattered right now.

“P-Pardon? I really sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about-”

“No no, Christine. You don’t understand…” This time, the man grabs both of your hands into his as he begins rubbing them slowly, intertwining his fingers with yours before tilting his head back up to look at you again.

“Please…come with me…I need to tell you the truth…” It was evident that tears were beginning to well up in his eyes—as if he was going to crumble down anytime soon.

“P-Promise me that you w-won’t hurt me?” You asked.

“Never Christine…you’re my one and only love…I’ll never hurt you nor cause you any pain…” the man continued and kept addressing you with that unfamiliar name.

Given that the man had definitely calmed down, you figured that listening to what he had to say wouldn’t hurt, and you gave him a little nod.

Instantly, the man’s eyes lit up, and he made a little jump in the air, making you baffled by the sight that unfolded in front of your eyes. Enthusiastically, he grabbed your wrist and dragged you down back into the dark alleyway, assuring you that you wouldn’t be gone for too long and he was going to bring you back up again once he had cleared the air between you two.

In return, you silently pulled a few strands of your hair and dropped them into the passageway—just in case anything happened, and that could be a potential clue to your whereabouts, especially for Sangyeon.

As you both strolled down the passageway and ended up on the boat just like you had before, the masked man gently placed one of his hands on your cheeks and began rubbing them back and forth before he muttered something under his breath.

“I’ll make you the happiest girl alive again, my love.”

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masterlist

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roses-dreams-andthorns · 1 year ago

Note

hi hello, r u getting tired of my requests? Because another one is here!!! May i request a They/them reader, a Herrscher of the Void reader preferably. You can see i'm going crazy with all the honkai impact readers but i have seen nobody do it, excluding you ofc. This time is genshin! May i request Aether, Kaveh and Baizhu?

Hi Hiii! I'm not getting tired of your requests at all, dw! Though I am kinda burnt out ish, so I'll try my best to get all my current requests done! This one will be first since its the most recent one~ "𝓗𝓪𝓲𝓵 𝓶𝔂 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓭 𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓮𝓷, 𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓷, 𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓷." "𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝔁 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓽𝓼 𝓮𝓫𝓫 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀" "𝓢𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓱, 𝓢𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓱, 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮" "𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓻, 𝓸𝓱 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻, 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓿𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓼 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓮." Genshin impact x HoV!NB!Reader. Characters included: 𝓐𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻, 𝙆𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙝, 𝔅𝔞𝔦𝔷𝔥𝔲 Reader pronouns: They / Them

Author's notes: I was unsure if you were referring to Kiana HoV or Sirin HoV, but technically they are the same, but also different, so I'll try to reference both some how. I also don't know which Aether we're talking about either, Abyss or Traveler, but it would make some more sense if it was abyss Aether to me. Also, to make it make even more sense, I decided to make the Reader a member of the abyss order. It just made sense to me if they were a part of it, considering them being the herrscher of the void, also unsure if you wanted this to be platonic or romantic, so... its maybe a bit of both ish? Reader's dialoge color.

𝓐𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

For some reason, you remind him of someone... (*coughs* Unknown god *coughs*) but he shrugs off that feeling of doubt and familiarity. He believes you are as graceful as you are kind of evil, and he's all for it, especially if this is Abyss Aether we're talking about. Your powers are useful to the abyss, being able to remove almost all obstacles with just the snap of your fingers. Like the abyss heralds and mages, you're like an assistant to him, but you're closer to him than that of the rest of the abyss.

you, too, must have experienced the true nature of Teyvat through your own journey, whatever the true nature may be, just like he did. you wouldn't have joined him in the abyss order other wise, would you have? "Reader, fetch the abyss lectors for me, won't you? I require them for something." "Understood, Prince Aether."

"...Please just call me Aether, Reader. There's no need for formalities."

He sees a tiny bit of Lumine in you, hence why he's so attached to you, but he loves you just a bit more than a sibling, because though there are similarities, you are not Lumine, nor are you related by blood. and there may be a tiny bit of romance between you two, according to the rumors that circulate around the abyss order, that is, no one truly knows if they're true or not.

𝙆𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙝

At your first meeting, he was quite intimidated by your... aura. That abyssal aura that follows you around. At first, he labeled you an enemy, and, like any sane person who senses danger would, tried to fight you off, but a little later after that, he realized that maybe not all those who have committed some sin against the archons and thrive in the abyss are that bad... though humans like him can be so gullible... Despite the dark feelings in your heart that tell you "humans are worthless and pathetic." you can't help but feel the tiniest bit of sympathy when he meets with you in secret around the Ruins of Dhari, with this human substance known as... coffee, which he shares with you, and begins blabbering to you about how annoying his roommate is, and how he's in such a huge amount of debt. The urge to give him some of the mora you've stolen from other pathetic humans like himself is strong... "He never listens to any of my complaints! It's extremely annoying to deal with him everyday... You're lucky you don't have to live with the stupid acting grand sage of the academia..."

"Your life certainly sounds... interesting, mortal. Not even any of the abyss mages in which I command are as annoying as this... 'Alhaitham' sounds."

You've also grown to open up to him slightly, but you don't tell him anything of the abyss orders plans, right? ...Okay, maybe you told him some things... or maybe you told him too much... because now he might just be starting to doubt the archons and Celestia and the rest of human-kind just like how you and the rest of the abyss do.

𝔅𝔞𝔦𝔷𝔥𝔲

A human doctor who runs across a high ranked member of the abyss by chance... something no one could ever expect. not even Changsheng expected an encounter with such a high ranking abyssal being. Though despite your occupation... you couldn't help but to stop and assist the sickly human, instead of trying to actively kill him, despite knowing that what stood before you was nothing but a pathetic mortal in your eyes... something about him caused you to want to help him, so you had lead him back to Liyue Harbor discreetly, but on the way back, you continued to call him as such.

"Pathetic mortal human... I am only helping you out of my pure benevolence! I feel no sympathy for your weak and pathetic mortal self what so ever! I expect something in return for this!" "Yes, yes, I understand. I believe I have something that may satisfy your request back at Bubu Pharmacy."

"Baizhu... are you sssssure we can really trussssst this abyssssssal being?"

"Come now, Changsheng, they were kind enough to guide us back home, its the least I could do as compensation for wasting their precious time.~"

He then proceeds to give you plenty of expensive looking items and herbs and some medicine as compensation for... "wasting your precious time.", although you don't really have any use for these, you reluctantly accept them anyways, and then proceed to have even more random encounters with the human doctor and snake companion in the wilderness.

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thesnazzysharky · 3 months ago

Text

Waffling about/reviewing the notes in SJSM because I think they're cool. 2/2

Make sure to check out part 1 before this one. Or don't. I'm not your mom.

Anyways, time to review some more notes (with a smidge of some theorizing this time)! These will be the randomly generated ones. Less lore, but more character in these.

Romantic Victim

At first this place just seemed cute, but I've been here for days now… I'm feeling quite parched now, and I keep getting this feeling like I am being watched by something. This is not romantic at all…

Starting with the hopeless romantic, we have our first set of notes that the player will encounter, so obviously the Romantic Victim is the most memorable and iconic of the note writers, for good reason too.

The first note has them growing to become skeptical of the place and feeling like they're being watched by something (perhaps Spooky or Taker) which most likely will make the player connect to them right of the bat as they'll probably experience a similar feeling as they walk through the first few rooms where nothing is happening.

The note could've ended there and it would've been a typical but not too bad left over horror note from someone who came here before you, but then you read the "this is not romantic at all..." line. A line that will confuse the player and perhaps get a chuckle out of them because, well, what the hell is "romantic" about this mansion?

Whatever the case, the player will get to collect more of these notes and follow the little journey of this strange individual that repeatedly uses the word "romantic" for some reason. Apparently when the romantic came here, they didn't seem to bring anything to drink, as their notes mention how they're constantly thirsty, to the point of drinking some of the ink they're using to write their notes.

Ink… Not quite quenching my thirst. Taste is terrible, stains are terrible. I don't think drinking it was a very romantic idea.

Later they are able to find a bottle of red wine though! Although its a bit strange how it's described as having no label on it and tasting metall- oh wait, that's fucking blood isn't it?

I don't think that was wine…

You don't say...

At this point it becomes clear that the romantic is not going to make it, especially when they later mention not coming across any of the notes they made, making them unsure if any progress is being made. And so, they leave their last note, accepting their romantic fate.

I think this is my last note. I'm going to die having never found my escape, but really that's not true. This place was like my escape. My escape from everything else. In the end my death is kind of romantic.

You can later find their corpse sitting in an elevator after this note and honestly it's kinda sad. In a game like this where you're completely alone and almost defenseless, to lose some form of company that you became attached to, even if it's just in the form of notes that were written by someone who passed long before you, is tragic. Especially with how they went out...

Then you realize the goofy ass pose that they died in lmao.

I mean, hey, they did go out in a pretty romantic way. They're straight up stylin with this snazzy ass pose! Now that's a way to go out!

We're not done with them just yet however, as they actually make a comeback in Endless Mode!

Aha! Yet again I have cheated the grave and shall proceed to escape these confines. While the thought of my death being quite romantic did cross my mind I believe my escape shall be profusely more so.

They claim they have cheated death somehow and plan to escape. Later notes mention how they suddenly feel healthy and no longer feel thirst or hunger; along with coming across the specimens, although they are no longer aggressive towards them. The eleventh note makes it clear as to what is going on.

A strange ghost girl appeared before me today in a rather upset and unromantic manner. She claims I am not doing my job and that I should report to my commanding officer immediately. I boldly stated that I have no commander as I drift wherever the wind takes me as I follow my own romantic journey. To this she acted confused and slowly sunk into the floor.

And so our pal catches a very minor case of being dead and becoming a ghost. Except they don't even realize they're dead.

I am beginning to wonder why I haven't required sustenance in what I guess has been more than two weeks. I at first theorized that tiny food particles are emitted into the air. I now know what a foolish thought that was since it is clear that I have been granted immortality as a romantic artist.

The next note mentions their skin changing, again, hinting that they're a ghost now. It also mentions that they have a romantic partner outside of the mansion and they believes that despite being a transparent ghost now, their partner will still care for them no matter what once they reunite. Not much to say on that other than I think it's quite cute, albeit a bit sad, since they don't realize they're trapped in the mansion and won't be seeing their partner anytime soon.

I noticed something strange today. My skin color has changed. I know this is probably ordinary since I haven't seen the sun in quite some time but it just came as a shock to me. But I know my romantic partner is out there and they will care for me no matter how transparent my skin becomes.

In the last note they wrote, Spooky comes to greet them once again... taking away their pen privileges once she had enough of their bullshit lol.

The ghost girl has returned and is glaring at me while I write this. She again claims I have a job here and that I'm not fulfilling it correctly. I tell her whatever job she thinks I have doesn't sound very romantic. She seems angrier now and states that if I don't stop she will take my pen privile___

Overall, I really like the Romantic Victim as a character and what they add to the game. Their simple, but still very charming character trait as a romantic makes them very memorable compared to if they were just some ordinary dude who wrote like an ordinary person; and it's because of their charm is probably why the player will end up getting attached to them despite never being able to interact with them. That said, there's some cool little details and depth with them. Such as how their first few notes are written in a dramatic and I guess fancy sort of way. Using double spacing and ellipsis to sell the affect.

But by the time they write their last note, this act and style of writing is dropped. Which actually makes this note more sad since it really shows that the romantic doesn't have the will to go on anymore.

There's also the neat detail of why they constantly use the word "romantic". They don't mean romantic as in love, but romantic as in an artistic sense; think of the Romantic Era of history for example. The notes found in Endless Mode make it more clear when they mention romanticism and how they're a romantic artist. A pretty subtle but neat joke.

I would say the notes they leave are great for beginner players as they basically tell them exactly what the tone of this game will be.

A mix between serious and unsettling horror (the romantic feeling like they're being followed, drinking ink out of desperation, and unknowingly drinking a bottle of blood) and goofy satire and comedy (the romantic using the word "romantic" in a situation that doesn't fit it and their corpse just being a cartoonish skeleton in a sexy pose).

Not to mention that the notes they leave in Endless Mode are probably the funniest notes in the whole entire game for me, especially when Spooky shows up and is baffled by their... nature.

Conclusion? They're a little confused, but they got the spirit. I hope they got to reunite with their partner at some point in the afterlife. 5/5

Tropes Victim

This place is finally starting to affect me. I've seen enough horror movies to know how to survive a simple ghost or two, but these monsters keep getting faster and stranger.

Looks like someone has caught main character syndrome. This person seems to have came here more prepared and got further than the romantic victim as they mention the specimens getting faster and stranger as they continue forward.

What makes them interesting though is that homie really thinks that just because they watched some horror movies and know typical horror cliches and tropes; they will survive due to being the "main protagonist".

Well I still haven't died so it appears I might be the protagonist, but I'm not entirely sure. I hope I'm not some side character that leaves notes for pointless exposition. Also I found a strange computer that gave descriptions of the monsters. And it seems like they are called 'effective' based on how many people they kill.

Who's gonna tell them? Anyways, the tropes victim seems to be taking a jab at the mfs who think they would survive if they were in a horror media due to knowing the tropes or thinking they would have better common sense than the victims who end up being killed. I really like it! Feels fitting to have this character in a game like this.

Something else to be said about them that I find quite funny is their second note.

In order to survive this house I need to keep writing notes. I must do everything a central protagonist would and hope this is one of those stories. 'Insert Obscure horror reference that no one gets and misinterprets as instructions somehow'

The "Insert Obscure horror reference that no one gets and misinterprets as instructions somehow" line is chuckle worthy when you first read it, but it becomes even better when you learn about what it originally said in older versions of the game.

The "tall man character" in question being a reference to Slenderman. However, some players didn't pick up on this and thought it was a genuine hint towards an enemy that could potentially be summoned by picking up too many notes. So, that lead to those players not picking up any notes and thus missing out on a big portion of the game. I feel bad for Kira. That must have been frustrating lol.

Anyways, I find tropes to be entertaining and fun. I love the self aware humor with them and they have some of the funnier notes in the game. Although I appreciate that's not all there is to them, as they do drop some hints towards what's going on with the mansion. Such as how the specimens are called effective based on how many people they kill and that the souls of the victims could be related to how effective they are as well. They also, similar to the Romantic Victim, went out pretty boldly. Completely accepting their fate as they realize they can be killed off due to not having traditional traits of a protagonist; confirming that they are indeed a side character.

It's sad to see yet another past victim lose all hope of surviving, but he does note that it was at the very least a nice experience for awhile. 5/5

Survivalist Victim

DAY 2. Food supply depleted. Water supply at 30%. Mental health deteriorating, leaving notes behind to help others and mark where I've been.

This victim's notes are on the more serious and dramatic side as they write down about each day they have been at the mansion and the steady decrease in resources and overall mental stability.

While the notes of the Romantic and Tropes Victim's have them start off doing pretty decently as they go through the mansion before their last notes shows them giving up entirely, the notes from this poor soul show how they were fucked from the start. Only 2 days and they had already ran out of food, become low on water, and their mental health is deteriorating.

Their journey doesn't become any better once they start having hallucinations and violent heart palpitations. Not to mention sleep deprivation and running low on phone battery.

They also start to question why they came to the mansion in the first place and that the hallucinations can apparently hurt them now (perhaps something to do with Specimen 5 or 7).

DAY 5. I can't remember. Why did I come here? Was there ever a purpose? I believe death is steadily approaching me now. The hallucinations can hurt me, I'm out of provisions, and I'm having sudden violent heart palpitations.

Judging by how quick they were to lose their mind, something tells me that the survivalist might have had some psychological problems similar to our protagonist and perhaps they came to the mansion for a not very happy reason...

Whatever the case, just like the previous victims, they end up writing one last note about accepting their fate. And boy does this one go hard in particular.

DAY 7. I can't tell the real from unreal anymore. My limbs refuse to move the way I want them to. I feel like I'm wading in a deep river that is always flowing against my direction. Now I will lay down and let the river flow over me. I will let it guide me to it's end. I know where I'm going anyway. This place, this entire place, is just a gyrating screaming rock in the vastness of an infinite kingdom. I'm going to rest now. I'll be watching over you.

God damn you dramatic ass mf. Going to burn the whole sheet of paper with the fire you're spitting.

On a serious note though, I like how this final note has this sense of bittersweetness with the "I'm going to rest now. I'll be watching over you." line. It's oddly comforting in a way. A nice change from the previous final notes which were just grim. A shame that most won't encounter this note on their first playthrough. It's great.

I like how these notes play it fully straight and serious, showcasing the effect the mansion itself can have on some individuals and how terrible it would be to be stuck in a mansion that seemingly never ends. As you get further into the game and encounter specimens that seem scarier and harder than the other, the change in tone with these notes feels fitting.

At first I found the Survivalist Victim to be pretty boring and not as interesting as the other previous victims, but the more I think about it, the more I start to like them and what they add to the game. 5/5

Lisa's Notes

You think you're clever don't you?

I've been watching you for a while now.

Why even bother filling your lungs?

Your blood smells so thick. I can hear the vessels oozing.

Do you feel safe?

Reading these won't help you. Only death can help you.

These are all the notes from Unknown Specimen 5's encounter. Aka Lisa.

Unlike the other unknown specimens, Lisa has a decent amount of buildup to her before she chases you. The chills that went down my spine when I first read "I've been watching you for a while now" and later kept getting more notes from faded Specimen 1's was a very memorable experience. SJSM at its best! Unfortunately these notes don't have much to them aside from being creepy and the effect they have is pretty much lost on a repeated playthrough of Endless Mode. They still leave a very good first impression though. 3/5

Child Victim

Mommy and Daddy love me very much! They told me they were throwing me a party!

And here we have the most depressing notes in the whole entire game.

This child's parents were apparently throwing a party at the mansion for some odd reason (I'll get into that later), but when the child actually goes there, their parents are nowhere to be found.

As they eat some of the cookies they were given for their "party", they wander around the mansion, confused and hearing strange noises, wondering if all of this is a game of sorts.

Later they end up falling down a hole. Hurting their leg and crying from the pain, eventually falling to sleep from exhaustion. They leave one final and ominous as hell note that states the following.

I fell asleep. My leg still hurts. I see Daddy he came for me.. It's not Daddy.

Okay. Despite these notes being very brief, there's a handful of things to say about them. First off, the child states that their parents were throwing them a party and said party took place at the mansion. Isn't that... kinda strange and suspicious? Why would these parents throw a child's party at a mansion where anyone who goes in never comes out? Even if they didn't knew about the mansion's past history for some reason, it's still pretty damn weird to throw a party at an old and seemingly long abandoned mansion. Why couldn't they just throw a party at their house? Or a relative's house? Or a friend's house? Or a picnic? Or basically any other common options to throw a party at that doesn't involve old and decrepit building's?

Considering the fact that the parents don't even show up anywhere at the "party" and the child was just given a basket of cookies and presumably not much else might imply this was done on purpose. The child states that "Mommy and Daddy love me very much!", but we don't know if that's actually true. The child could be an unreliable narrator in this case. They are a young and naive kid after all. A young and naive kid that could have had abusive or neglectful parents, but due to their young age and underdeveloped brain, they never recognized this. So what's going on here? Here's my thoughts. These supposed "parents" told their child they were going to throw a "party" for them. This wasn't an actual party. This was something to get rid of their child permanently. We don't know what events could have lead up to this, but it seems likely that these "parents" grew tired of raising their child and wanted to find a way to dispose of them. Perhaps through hearing about how those who enter into the mansion never come out or just hoping their kid gets lost, they send them to the haunted mansion on the hill. Giving the kid some cookies so they could eat and live for awhile. Hoping that they either die from starvation and thirst, get adopted by someone else, or meet some other grim fate. Whichever option worked.

So the child goes there, wandering the mansion for awhile, falls down a hole, and encounters a specimen that they at first think is their dad, but unfortunately it isn't. As for what specimen killed them, the likely answer is either Specimen 2 or 9. They're both human in appearance and I highly doubt the kid made it that far. You could say it's also possible they fell all the way down to Specimen 6's locale, but it's unlikely they would survive a fall like that.

Assuming that most of this theory is true... than holy shit! It was already depressing before, but this is 100 times worse!

Overall, I love how dark and tragic these notes are. Especially because it shows just how twisted and apathetic Spooky is by letting children just as old or younger than her die horribly in this place. Not to mention some of the ambiguity with what's going on with the parents or what specimen killed the child is great too.

Simple on the surface, but a decent amount of depth. 5/5

Spelling Errors Victim

DAy 1 I have enterd a spoopy ghost mansion. I do not know how long I will be here but I hope not too long.

Let's lighten up the mood by talking about this person who seems to have failed English class.

Similar to Survivalist Victim, this victim writes about the amount of the days they have been at the mansion.

Their first few days has them being almost completely indifferent to the mansion and its scares. Stating that a "spook" they came across wasn't as scary as they seen in some horror games; and that not having wifi was the scariest thing about the mansion. All while having some pretty bad grammar and spelling still not as atrocious and Godzilla stroke inducing as some people's grammar that I've seen on the internet, perhaps suggesting they're on the younger side, but clearly older than the Child Victim.

As they continue forward and start to run low on the cheesy curds they're eating, they state they will most likely die soon, but at least they were "hardcore" for making it pretty far on their (kinda) frightful journey.

Their last note has them die to a specimen coming closer to them in a hallway. Most likely Specimen 9.

Day 7 While I am at the end of my ropes I shall press on anyway. I have eating the last of the cheese curds and haven't found any new food. There is something down the hallway I believe. It's getting closer. OH whyyy. why has this has to happen to me?

Judging by the use of words like "spoopy" or "hardcore" and being the most concerned about not having internet instead of the literal monsters that could kill them; this person seems to have spent a lot of time on the internet. They definitely look like an irl nerd emoji behind those notes 100% lol.

At first I thought this writer's main gimmick was being indifferent to the mansion, but the spelling errors are the cherry on top and you get some pretty damn funny notes as a result. They're solely comic relief and don't have the same depth to them as the Tropes or Romantic Victim's, but I still enjoy them. 4/5

Jasper Midnight

NOTE I Dear Reader, I am known as Jasper Midnight. I appear to be trapped within a house of horrors so to speak. While at first glance I thought this was nothing more than a carnival fun house with scary pop outs and irritating ambience it has lasted quite longer than I expected. I am going to write these notes as I journey on in order to inform any unfortunate souls that follow me. Sincerely, JM

For the first time we have a victim that gives us their actual name. Or at least a nickname they're known by.

His first note has him write about how he thought the mansion was supposed to be a fun house of sorts while roaming in it, but then he realized he was trapped here. Deciding to write notes to inform any future victims. A typical start so far.

Things get more interesting however when he mentions encountering Specimen 3 in his second note. The way he describes the encounter is oddly casual and calm. Describing it to be a "glorious yet somewhat unfulfilling encounter". Sure is a weird way to describe an encounter with a spiderpede, but maybe he's just built different.

We learn in the third note and beyond that bro isn't just only unfazed by the horrors around him. He fucking loves them and this twisted mansion.

NOTE III Dear Reader, This mansion just continues to get better. I found a room today that was delightfully themed around rusted and abandoned asylums. I say 'themed' simply because it was too perfect to be real. I even found strange creatures holding onto the grated floor writhing in some sinister dance. Sincerely, JM

Damn. Guess he is built different. Especially because later notes show he actually makes it pretty far in the mansion. Encountering and surviving Specimen 8.

The rest of the notes basically show how much he genuinely loves being in the mansion. Morbidly describing it as a "nightmare without the haze of sleep or a daydream you would have while drowning" and that this journey has been "life changing" for him. Overall it seems like he enjoys all aspects of life, both the horrific and the bliss, and that is why he loves the mansion.

NOTE VI Dear Reader, The world is an ashtray, constantly burning out. It is full of hardship, turmoil, happiness, and love. And all of it is beautiful. Sincerely, JM

Unfortunately the last note has him die through unknown means. He takes like a champ as expected though.

NOTE VII Dear Reader, My life is spent, my fire snuffed. My body shakes and ejects blood. I cannot go any further though I wish I could. Continue after me and witness the beauty of the world. Witness the terrible and terrific. Sincerely, JM

The idea of someone being enthralled by the mansion was an interesting one and Jasper is a very lovable character because of it. Dude is just having the time of his life and honestly after these notes? I feel like he would be a fun and chill dude to hang with, even if he's a bit odd.

Easily one of my favorite note writers. 5/5

Spooky's Notes

Research Report #153 Through the spider portal I have come across a plethora of new horror designs for Specimen 1 as well as some new ways of recruiting soldiers. In today's dive I discovered a cluster of webs centered around short horror experiences as well as some sort of Italian cooking. I will continue to research this particular web cluster.

To my surprise, these notes are written by the silly big bad herself! Spooky!

Some very interesting notes we have here as they don't follow the traditional formula that the previous notes had. Focusing on giving us a bit of insight into Spooky's thought process and how she went about running GL Labs and constructing her plan to build her army.

The first few notes have Spooky come across a design she could use for Specimen 1. A creature called Jeff (obvious reference to Jeff the Killer) that she found through the "spider portal". Later on she tries to gain attention from the "LP people" and their viewers so she can gain more recruits, with mixed results. The last two notes mention how another house apparently already has the title "Spooky's House of Jumpscares" and so they want Spooky to change the name of her mansion. She has the funds to fight against this, but instead decides that she would rather spend the funds on noodles and scary things... of course... Quickly summarized all of that, but that's because I want to talk about the more specific details. There's some cool stuff here!

Right off the bat I love how these notes show how unknowledgeable Spooky is of the internet. Calling it a spider portal and calling websites web clusters (get it? The world wide web). Describing one of the web clusters as being "centered around short horror experiences as well as some sort of Italian cooking" (referencing creepypastas). Describing how she believes there are multiple Jeff's and some are crossbreeding with other monsters (possibly referring to AU's and OC's or maybe even ships). And describing YouTubers, specifically the gaming ones, as "LP people. She also doesn't understand the concept of spam, thinking people were genuinely referring to her advertising campaign as the canned meat product.

It's an interesting and cute addition to her character and it makes sense considering she died in the 60's. I also love how her childish side is shown in these notes in general. Girl literally stabbed one of her workers to death because they gave some minor criticism and later wanted to spend her funds on some noodles actually maybe that one is pretty fair. That part being particular because it implies that Spooky had the chance to kill the protagonist at basically any point in the base game and DLC's. She just chooses not to, which is interesting. Although I guess it has something to do with the "dying tragically enough to become a ghost" thing. Maybe outright killing her victims doesn't cut it.

The cherry on top of all this being the name change of Spooky's House of Jumpscares to Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion due to a copyright claim from some shitty mobile company having a canonical explanation in-universe.

I guess the only criticism I have is that for someone who's supposed to be 12 years old, Spooky sure does have some good grammar, descriptive language, and knows her big girl words. Although I guess it's not that hard to believe that she had plenty of time to expand on her writing and vocabulary in the few decades she has been at the mansion. So I'll let it slide. Absolute gold all around. 5/5

Vlogger

So um, I am writing notes down. I think that is the correct thing to do in this situation. I was filming the mansion for my urban exploration video channel but I think I'm trapped and I ran out of battery on my cameras hours ago.

Decided to save the most interesting for last. Here we have yet another victim. This one being an urban explorer with an interest in vlogging.

Usual deal as always with the first note. He realizes he is trapped in the mansion; the camera that he was using to film a video having long run out of batteries.

Later he comes across some elevators, but just like in the game, he has no choice but to go down. All he can do is hope that they'll stop at some point. More time passes and he encounters some Specimen 1's and is starting to run out of food and water. Pressing forward, he comes across Deer Lord's area where he grabs a particular weapon to defend himself.

Well readers, I found a greenhouse or garden area. It was pretty neat but it didn't help me much. I did find a cool Sickle thing in a 'tree'. I normally don't steal from the places I explore but I have this really uneasy vibe from this place and I want something to defend myself.

A sickle... intriguing...

Later on, he encounters more specimen locales.

Hey everyone, I wish my cameras had battery left. I found some really cool areas of this building. Some looked like a school of sorts and another might have been some kind of in house restaurant. I found some frozen (meat) there, but I'm not sure if I should attempt to eat it or not.

As he continues exploring in intrigue at first, he decides that he has had enough of the place as he thinks he's in life threatening danger now (Compared to before? More on this later...).

Okay guys, I am done with this place. As interesting as it may be I think I'm actually in life threatening danger here. I can't imagine it going on much longer and I've gone way too far down to get back up now.

Then we have this note that reveals the twist.

Well readers, I think I'm near an exit. I found another mansion like area. I feel really tired so I'm going to take a break here.

We're not done yet of course, but it looks like this vlogger fella really is the current host of Specimen 12. Making him the only human note writer that we see still alive in the game.

Moving onto the notes we find in Specimen 12, the vlogger assumes that he had finally found a resting place.

What is this? Wow, what a mansion! Inside another mansion. Maybe I've made it all the way to the end of the house. Maybe this is like a resting place or another entrance perhaps? Whatever the case, I think this is a good spot to rest.

He later becomes skeptical as he finds out the bricks and wood are just painted on and nothing inside the mansion feels real. He also claims to hear movement and voices below him, assuming them to be from other survivors.

Things go south real fast however as the third note jarringly shows our vlogger friend being paranoid and trying to hide from "him". As it turns out, this was not a resting place at all.

I can hear him coming down the hallway! I need to hide, but I don't know where. I now know this is not an exit or a resting place. It is just another specimen room! I think he's outside the door now.

At this point the vlogger has become full on paranoid now. Constantly hearing whoever his killer is despite knowing they're not there. Making him assume that the killer isn't even real but instead his own fears stalking him. They stumble around a bit before coming to this conclusion.

I have a theory. I think it's this pseudo mansion. I think it's playing with my head. I still hear him… I must find that man and kill him with the sickle I found in the forest…

Considering he's the current host now, he really did kill him... unknowingly dooming himself in the process. Now he has become Specimen 12's current host. Controlled like a puppet and forced to roam the mansion and murder anyone who enters it.

Now obviously I fucking love all of this and think it's very well done. When you're playing the base game for the first time, the twist of the killer being the one writing the notes in the locale is pretty good. However, the twist of this vlogger being the one to become Specimen 12's current host is even better! From one plot twist to another.

Now, I do want to theorize about one last thing with this victim. Something that I find interesting and odd is that the notes seem to imply that the vlogger never actually encountered any of the major specimens. What do I mean by this? Let's run things back.

Hey guys, so there are these weird pop outs that appear to be cardboard. I guess this was or is a theme ride of some kind. I just keep going down but I don't have much choice. All in all it's not that bad.

This is the third note written by the vlogger and yet it's the first time a specimen of any kind is mention or alluded to. Specimen 1 in this case. He also mentions that his experience so far is not that bad. This is strange to me for a simple reason.

The previous note has him mention going in elevators (plural) that only go down and yet judging by this note, he's only just now encountering Specimen 1. The "All in all it's not that bad." line seems to imply that he has only encountered Specimen 1 and nothing else so far. I heavily doubt he would write that if he got chased by one or more of the specimens.

Things become more odd when we get to notes 5 and 6. Where he encounters Specimen 8, 4, and 11's locales. Yet again, none of the specimens are mentioned or even alluded to.

When he gets to Deer Lord's locale, he finds the sickle, but there's no mention of Deer Lord himself or any violent deer. There's also the specific wording he uses here.

"I normally don't steal from the places I explore but I have this uneasy vibe from this place and I want something to defend myself." So apparently the vlogger is only now getting an uneasy vibe from the place, odd, and they want something to defend himself because of it. Again, implications of not encountering any of the specimens. If he was getting chased previously, than I find it odd how he even hesitates grabbing a weapon to defend himself for even a split second. That and I feel like he would be more descriptive than just describing the mansion as "uneasy".

It's a similar deal with the other locales he encounters.

Once again, the locales are there and mentioned, but not the specimens. He also describes the areas as "cool" and talks about them very casually and calmly. He even wishes his camera still had battery so he could've filmed those areas. If he was being chased or encountered any of the specimens, I doubt that he would be concerned about that. Or at the very least it wouldn't be the first thing on his mind in place of wanting to leave and survive.

This is the note where the vlogger reaches his breaking point. Of course, he did mention clearly wanting to leave the mansion in previous notes, but here he seems 100% desperate to leave. Which is curious to me considering he seemed to be slowly warming up to the place in his previous note.

He mentions that as interesting as the mansion is, he thinks he's in life threatening danger. Keyword think. Not "I'm actually in life threatening danger here" but "I think I'm actually in life threatening danger here". Again, nothing explicit is being stated. In this case, I'm not sure if the vlogger is saying this because he's realizing he's close to dying of starvation and thirst or because he encountered something that gave him a reason to think "Oh fuck. I might actually die here."

Either way, it's interesting how throughout all these notes he hasn't mentioned any of the specimens aside from Specimen 1 and overall seems very calm and casual until this note here.

And it's not like he's just built different like the Spelling Errors Victim who was almost completely indifferent to the horrors of the mansion or Jasper who was having the time of his life. When he gets to Specimen 12 and encounters a threat that can kill him, he shows genuine fear in his writing and is clearly becoming paranoid and delusional from being in the fake mansion. He does have a certain brave side to him in some of his notes, he is a urban explorer after all, but we have no reason to believe he's completely fearless and has massive balls of steel.

I'm not 100% sure what Kira was trying to imply with all of this, but I have two explanation that makes the most sense to me. The first explanation is that some of the specimens simply weren't there yet. Assuming that there was a decent gap of time between each of the specimens being found, retrieved, and placed into the mansion, the vlogger may have been at a more or less early point of the mansion's history of gathering specimens. Meaning the mansion didn't have all 13 of the specimens.

What made me consider this theory is that all the locales that the vlogger mentions belong to the Hellgate specimens (those being 4, 8, and 11). So my thought process is that while he's coming across the locales, those specimens haven't been summoned from the Hellgate yet. The locales being there at all does suggest that GL Labs was in the process of trying to retrieve them. As the game more or less implies that the areas that some of the specimens hang around in are supposed to be a recreation of sorts to fit the specimen. For example, the mansion doesn't actually have a real school in it, but rather a recreation of one that Ringu can chill in, since a school was the environment Ringu previously roamed in.

So under this theory, the vlogger has been in the mansion for a long while. Makes sense given the current age we see him in during the base game, assuming that he was more younger while he was vlogging.

The second explanation is that he's an unreliable narrator. To give credit to this post, it's possible that the vlogger is masking his fears by writing down notes about his experience in the mansion, but not about any of the specimens or other paranormal things going on. What better way to make yourself feel better in a nightmare scenario than by writing about that nightmare scenario as if it's just a minor inconvenience?

To add to this idea, maybe he's doing this not only because he wants to hide his fears, but also because he thinks that if he'll make it out and show others the notes he has written about all the crazy shit going on in the mansion, nobody will believe him and think he's a lunatic. By writing about an unnerving but still somewhat believable experience of being stuck in a huge mansion, people would give more credit to him instead of looking down upon him. That way he can cope better overall if he were to make it out.

This could explain why the notes in Specimen 12's area are written a bit differently. He doesn't address his viewers in those notes and it seems like they're written solely for himself. Giving us a clear picture that shows us that he is truly scared of this place and the situation he's in now that he's no longer trying to hide it by acting like there's nothing going on in the mansion.

Both theories area likely possibility to me and I really like the second one because it makes Vlogger's character more complex and interesting. Especially if you take into account that the vlogger/old man is supposed to be a parallel to the protagonist. With both of them seemingly having trouble with the social "mask" or persona they present to the outside world that isn't truly who they are.

Either way, the vlogger is definitely one of the more developed note writers and I love him for that. Some great twists with some nice room for speculation. Gonna give him a six out of five. Just very interesting to me. 6/5

Conclusion

I really love the notes in this game and think they're the most underappreciated aspect of the game. It's really cool and impressive to me how Kira was able to make these notes offer some genuine horror or comedy to the game while also making each writer a bit different from one another just based on how they write. The overall lore or room for speculation they provide is also well done too. Telling you just the right amount that you need to know. Maybe not everything, but at least most of the info that is necessary. Leaving you to speculate and fill in some gaps on your own.

When I first started this, I was worried that I wouldn't have much to say about these notes, but in the end there's actually a lot more to say than I thought!

A bit tiring but still fun project this was. Thank you for reading and have a snazzy day.

#Procrastinated on this one a bit #but it's finally finished!#definitely going to need a break from writing another one of these big posts lol #Sharky Theorizing #discussion #theorizing #shojs #sjsm #spookys house of jumpscares #spooky's house of jumpscares #spookys jumpscare mansion #spooky's jumpscare mansion

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