#like i LOVE how she still tries to act like her old self around master chief at first despite whats shes gone through since halo 3 i LOVE

[skeleetrom]

Yknow even as a girl who loves boobs I really think it's a shame that Cortana in Halo 4 looked like that because to me at least she's at her best as a character in Halo 4 but anytime someone talks about Halo 4 Cortana it's about how her huge naturals

[i-never-forgot]

Ah shoot, I know you've talked about the gang's love languages before, but I can't remember Dusknoir and Eliana's specifically— but could I request a little doodle where they're making efforts to show each other they care?

Oh Sofie you know me so well🥺thank you for the serotonin boost!

And now for the needlessly long lore-dump bc I can't help myself:

I did indeed write a post on it, but I only talked about Dusknoir’s love language (which would still stand in this case) and a generic hypothetical hero. He outwardly expresses acts of service, but I feel he would appreciate receiving quality time the most (since he might have some negative memories regarding perceived deceptions messing with words of affirmations plus his low self-esteem or receiving touch bc...you know that man has never experienced an ounce of physical affection, but he learns to appreciate it for reasons below). He feels unwanted and unloveable at his lower moments, so to have Eliana (or Lu or Grovyle/Celebi, too, admittedly) stay close to him even in simple companionable silence helps a lot; to be reassured that they're no longer afraid of him and see him as someone valuable beyond what he can offer with his hands. Play games with him (bc there's no way they wouldn't have board games or smth) or start in-depth conversations/debates/lectures with him, where he can exercise his mind, and he'll be eating out of your hand.

Eliana specifically tends to give gifts the most. She leaves things around for people she cares about, whether it's items they mentioned they needed/general explorer necessities, their favorite berries/gummis/etc, or random objects (flowers/pretty rocks/shells/leaves/etc)/keepsakes/treasures found in dungeons. You know that you've won her favor and affection if you find these sort of things laying only where you would find it, whether it be on your bed or otherwise. She loves spoiling the people she loves; it makes her feel like she's finally offering something of value for them having to "tolerate" her (but she's getting better about her self-worth issues through unending patience from her family).

(She always made sure Treecko ate first while they traveled and gave him the best items, even after they met Old Master Lucario and were in relative safety and security. She inadvertently gave Grovyle her old scarf when they were separated, but when he tried to give it back once she returned to the future, she only kept it long enough to have its wear stitched back up to regift it back to him since she knew how much it had comforted him while she was gone.)

(Once they reconcile, she gifts Dusknoir his Unlucky Sash. She secretly goes to Toxicroak and trades out enough items after she pays to have him requisition it. She doesn't say anything or give it to him directly, but when he finds it in his Treasure Bag he knows - especially since he had been trying to emulate her habit as a show of good will the last several months. It's good that he was alone in the Bluff when he discovered it because he would never be willing to explain to Grovyle or Celebi why he had started blubbering. Just a little. He would sooner die (again) than admit to it, but he was so relieved that he couldn't control himself. He hardly ever takes it off after that, wearing it like a badge of honor - only if it gets dirty or torn, and even then he gets almost unconsolably upset until Eliana reassures him that it can be cleaned/fixed. One time he takes a slashing hit for her and it rips pretty badly. He's almost sick to his stomach about it, but she has the same seamstress mentioned above embroider some Unown runes into it, followed by a symbol unfamiliar to Pokemon from their world; Dusknoir understands the runes where most uneducated in such ancient writing wouldn't, something they had bonded over previously, and it contextualizes the symbol for him without Eliana ever having to say a word. He runs his fingertips over the threads over and over when he's feeling anxious or upset, and especially if he's separated from Eliana for too long.)

Upon receiving love, believe it or not, Eliana's most inclined to crave physical affection. It's an impulse and hunger she's buried deep for many years, as she lacked in it from her childhood (boo her parents for being austere, stuffy jerks only concerned with reputation and status), and it only got worse when she lost her first partner. She closed herself off for the most part for years afterward, and her past romantic endeavors thought her too cold bc she always tended to keep them at arm's length emotionally and physically bc she was afraid of getting hurt again. But Treecko wears down her barriers and she holds him a lot, even when it's unnecessary. Having her memories wiped helped her to work through some of that with Lu, thankfully, and by the time she met Dusknoir and gave him the benefit of a doubt she was far more comfortable bumping into others and giving them head-rubs while she tried to choke down her purrs. Dusknoir indulged in her casual affection far more than he should have, but he was starving for it, too (although he was noticeably stiff and uncertain about receiving it and reciprocating; he only got more back-and-forth once Eliana revealed her identity since he was trying to pull away but couldn't help himself). When they make up Eliana is slow to warm back up to him again, but once she does she's almost always making contact with him somehow, whether it be pressing her flank against him in public, riding on his shoulders, curling around his head, or letting him carry her (although this is usually in a context where she needs it bc she gets flustered easily). She'll also nip at him or slap him with her tail if she's feeling feisty or playful. She loves it most when he pets or scratches her back since she can't always reach the places that itch or stay sore. (She loves it more when they press their foreheads together, in private, usually on the verge of sleep when both of their inhibitions are lowered...but you didn't hear that from me. She feels closest to him that way.)

(The bottom right pic is an old sketch I had so I decided to add it for posterity🥹)

[lime-sketches114]

Ok so I've been scrolling on here and I was in a Kingdom Hearts mood so I thought. "Should I make a mini fic about Luxu/Xigbar? Should I do it with his wife Ayla? One of his kids?" Then I thought of a scenario based on the headcanons I saw about Luxu's possession tendencies. Then I was like... "Well Katherine has special dreams powers like Riku and the Power of Connection. Braig's body has been with her since the beginning before BBS happened so why not let her meet Braig? Through her dreams?"

So here we are. This is a platonic/parental mini fic so it's not the other kind of love. This also gives me an excuse to expand/mess around with the lore. I have so many ideas for my girl Katherine Hearts. I love her so much! Enjoy!

Was Always With You

A Xigbar/Luxu/Braig and Katherine Hearts mini fic

Father and daughter KH fanfic (Platonic/Parental NOT LOVEY DOVEY! I'm watching you...(⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠))

Warnings: mostly mild, tooth rotting sweetness and AAAWWWWWW and WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DANG ONIONS!!!

(This fic takes a part after KH3/into KH4? it's an au-ish fic so yeah...)

★★★★★

One sunset evening at Radiant gardens, in the home of the Hearts family, a young woman that goes by the name Katherine Hearts was up. She fiddled with her locket and sighed. She sat in her old childhood bedroom, now redecorated to fit her size since she wasn't 5 years old anymore. It's been a while since she was back in this world. Ever since the astounding tribulations of 10+ years ago, during Birth by Sleep, bits and pieces of her memories were either lost or floating in her head, waiting to be pieced together.

She recovered most of her memories, especially the ones of her brother, Neon, and her father, Braig...or more over now called Luxu. Her mother, Ayla Hearts, told her of Luxu and how he used the power to steal the bodies of people just to live longer. She was told the same Luxu, his body at least, was not her father biologically. His went to her older brother who was born during the age of Fairytales. Katherine always wondered if Braig was ever there in her life before Luxu possessed him and possibly his heart being locked away or casted out into oblivion bc of the magical act.

Her thoughts made tears well up. Just when she thought she knew her real self, more intrusive thoughts kept replacing the questions she thought she answered. She hugged her knees and tried to well her tears.

Then there was a knock.

"Hey Sunshine, You alright?" Spoke a suave voice.

Katherine tried to dry her tears, "Y-Yeah! I'm fine dad!"

"you sure? I thought I heard crying...may I come in?" Luxu spoke in a caring way.

"...s-sure" Katherine said through a stifled sniffle.

When the door opened, Luxu saw his daughter distressed and crying like a leaky faucet. His eye widened a bit.

"Sunshine what's wrong? Did something happen?" Luxu sat on the bed.

"Yes and no...stupid thoughts keep on filling my head...it's about something said by mom...that You as Luxu...are not my biological father... And Neon is technically my half brother..." She looked at him.

Luxu froze a bit but sighed, "yeah...it's true body wise I didn't Father you, but that doesn't mean I'm not your dad. A Dad is someone you look up to and admire. A Father protects the ones he loves and cares for them. I barely ever felt those feelings in my own body when Neon was born"

"you didn't?"

"Nope, besides being a first time dad, I didn't know what to do. I was so focused on what my master said that I somewhat neglected your mother and brother. Your mother sacrificed so much to protect all of us. Even using the last of her original body's magic to seal your brother away to keep him safe. I did nothing..." Luxu looked at his right hand and clenched it.

"but what about me?" Katherine scooted to him on the bed.

"you were a surprise to me. Your Mother and I, we had a massive fight about the future of Neon. I pushed her away. She took your brother and moved here. I knew she still loved me but I was so stubborn and lustful to my duty that I didn't see it...at least not clearly. I knew she would move on...to protect Neon at least..." Luxu sighed.

"do you remember anything else?" Katherine looked up at him.

"not much...all I remember, in my old vessel, was finding out she was pregnant with you by another man. She told him about me and how we were separated for many years. Neon was older and I got so angry that I let precious moments slip away from me. Braig was the man with her, a fresh castle guardsman with a red scarf. All I remember was possessing him and your mother shielding you and Neon away from me. Your brother was never the same after that and always hated me."

"May I ask him?" Katherine tilted her head.

"Huh?"

"I have powers in the realm of sleep, I can reach sleeping hearts if he's still there. I can feel tension in your heart." Katherine looked determined, "My powers of Connection might be able to reach him. But we'll both have to sleep for it to work properly."

Luxu contemplated for a moment then sighed in defeat, "ok...you deserve to know his side of the story, if there's even a heart to tell the story..."

They both laid down on her big bed and got comfy. Katherine took off her locket, which was also her Keyblade keychain, and held it with Luxu. She focused her power as sleep soon took hold of their bodies. Katherine could feel the pull of something as she subconsciously followed it as her heart drifted in the dream world.

★★★★★

Her body was reformed in water. Water? Sounds like a fountain. She opened her eyes to see the blue sky filtering from above and darkness below her. She reached up to touch the surface but a white gloved hand reached in and pulled her up. Katherine coughed up water and shivered a bit before the summer sun dried her off. She wiped the sleep in her eyes and looked up and around.

"it's good to see you again...my Sunshine" a familiar voice, yet sounded less gruff/suave, spoke.

"Braig?" Katherine called out as her vision improved.

"I would say in the flesh but, I'm not free in my own body anymore...been nearly 20 years since I last saw you..." Braig smiled, he looked the same but kept the longer hair and had weird facial scars that looked faded and the eye that was supposed to be under the eye patch was still the brown color while the left was still yellow like in the waking world. "I missed you my little girl"

Katherine stood up but was in her normal height and casual clothing. She wondered if he wanted to see her as she was. She didn't mind but she used to her dream eater form like Riku. "Hi...Dad..." She said nervously. Braig quickly gave her a hug.

"You don't know how long I've waited to hold you in my arms again. Ever since you were a baby you never left my side. Always wanting me to hold you while you held my scarf." Braig laughed softly.

"so that habit was always with me...I still have that scarf..." Katherine smiled

"Yep, and you were the CUTEST baby on the block. Though you had a bit of quirk."

"A quirk?" Katherine looked at Braig.

"yeah, both me and your dad have space-like powers. He was more in tune with his but when you were about a month old you just teleported when you sneezed! Your mom and I looked everywhere for you until Neon called for us. You were cuddling your big brother."

"that quirk....barely left..." Katherine laughed nervously, "I still sometimes teleport when I sneeze..."

Braig laughed and grabbed her shoulders, "looks like it's more of a quirk than we thought! You are my daughter through n through!" He sighed happily before gripping her shoulders, "but you're not here just for a friendly chat are you?"

"no...I wanna know what happened...how you met my mom and why'd she have me with you and why Luxu took your body..." Katherine quivered a bit before Braig started walking with her as the dream world phased into Radiant gardens way back when.

"To start...your mom sought refuge with Master Ansem. Your brother was a frail baby and needed help. She did all she could with her newly formed body but...it wasn't enough and she was not her prime anymore. I was already working as a guardsman by that time and I was tasked to protect them. After Neon got a little better I brought them to my home. Neon was the sweetest baby, about a year or so old. Your mother did what she could to provide nourishment to him." Braig looked at the illusion of inside the house.

The scene was of a very fussy baby Neon and a very tired Ayla. She looked to be a shadow of her old self and what she looks like in present time. Braig was comforting her the best he could. Day after day, night after night.

"Eventually, she opened up to me and how she separated from Luxu. It was a shock to find out what she was. I didn't care, all I cared about was protecting them. We grew closer and closer as Neon grew older. About a year after I asked her to be my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She was scared to because of Luxu and his personality. I promised her I'd do what I could. Not long after we were blessed with you." Braig smiled as the scene changed.

The illusion showed Braig finding out and twirling Ayla around. Another was when she was farther along. Braig rubbed her stomach and spoke to it. They were happy.

"Before you were born, Neon relapsed and became sick. Your mom became stressed and worried for him. I did my best to calm her for your sake but you decided to come a little early. It was chaos. Everyone around the castle, maids, nurses, and even Master Ansem helped her. I was scared out of my mind. When I heard your cries I knew you were alright and she was too. I held you in my arms and saw your pretty little eyes and golden hair. It was like the world stopped. We showed you to Neon and he got better. It was like you were a miracle sent to help."

Katherine smiled at the memories. Tearing up even.

"all that happiness came to a stand still when Luxu found Ayla. That day, she raised her Keyblade to him for the first time. He got angry. He was mad that she moved on and had another child without him. She shed tears as she looked back at you and I. She told me to run with you two but a force field was put up and I couldn't teleport out with you..."

The scene unfolded in a park square, the force field looked strong and Ayla kept her Keyblade pointed at Luxu, who was in an older Bragi body, in his black coat. Luxu was seeing red. Katherine never saw either of them look this way. She felt sick to her stomach. Soon voices were heard.

~~~~~~~~~

"It doesn't have to be this way Luxu! I don't want to fight you! But if you hurt them then I'll have no choice!" Ayla screamed out as magical energy formed around her.

"You betrayed me! You moved on! What was our bond to you?! Did our love mean nothing?!" Luxu growled.

"it did mean something! But you broke my trust when you couldn't see past those stupid rose tinted glasses the Master put on you! And on top of all that on what you did back in Scala ad Caelum! I stayed with you because I didn't know what to do! Then my eyes opened when I laid eyes upon Neon again. He deserves a normal life! I won't drag him down the path that maniac carved for you!" Ayla cried out. "I still love you Luxu but not as it was before! I love my life with Braig!"

Luxu became furious, his eyes became red with fury and he summoned a Keyblade, "if that happiness died, then I shall seal the deal by taking away what started it!" He pointed maliciously at a 8-10 year old Neon. Neon gripped Braig's jacket.

Ayla gasped and looked back at Braig, "Take Neon! Run!"

Braig tried to teleport but the force field was too strong, he ran to see if he could force his way. Not dice. Luxu bolted to Braig and readied a swing. When he made contact it was Ayla who shielded them. Leaving a nasty scar on her. Luxu and Braig widened their eyes to make sense of what happened. Ayla dropped to her knees then collapsed.

"Mommy!? Mommy!!" Neon broke free of Braig's grip and ran to his mother. Shaking her somewhat conscious body with tears in his eyes.

Luxu looked at his hands then his Keyblade. He dropped the blade in disbelief. He promised he would never hurt her out of darkness in his heart. He broke it. Tears formed in his eyes. What had he done?!

"You...you..." Luxu sobbed as he looked at Braig.

"Do you want my happiness..." Braig said in a stern voice.

"what..." Luxu questioned.

"Take my happiness on one condition...you must never harm them again. You must love them and my daughter. I'll leave and never return. If I find out you broke that promise then I will come back to kill you" Braig looked him dead in the eyes.

Luxu stood up, "Deal..." Braig unaware of what he might do next.

Braig gave Katherine to Neon in her sling and kissed his and Katherine's heads, "I love you Kiddo. Be strong for Mama and baby sis"

"Daddy..." Neon cried and hugged him. Braig helped Ayla into his arms and held her tightly. She hugged him, she didn't want him to go. "Please don't do this..."

"I have to, he'll kill you if we stand against him. Neon and Katherine would be gone..." Braig said through tears. He was not a skilled fighter, at least not enough to beat Luxu. Braig stood up after giving her a kiss goodbye and started to walk away.

Luxu chuckled as Braig was a bit of distance away from him, "on second thought...I do need a new vessel" he pointed his finger and in the flash of an eye.

"LUXU DON'T-" Ayla yelled but was cut off.

A bright light shot at Braig and he collapsed. Luxu's old vessel faded into light. Luxu shot his heart into Braig's body.

"BRAIG!!!" Ayla screamed

"DADDY!!!!" Neon cried.

Braig's body was now in control of Luxu but the deal he made seal Luxu's fate. Was bc of something else at play? Then two golden lights was shown on a frozen part of the scene. One was Katherine and it connected to Braig's heart deep within his own body. Fighting against Luxu.

~~~~~

"I had the...Power of Connection...since day one..." Katherine was amazed. "My heart saved yours?"

"it would seem so...I felt a warm aura and I heard your giggles. It kept me going to try and change Luxu's heart for your sake. Looks like I somewhat succeeded. You also helped when you grew older. Even as a nobody, neither his or Xehanort's heart ever touched mine. When you remembered your past at the final battle and called us Dad, it gave me the push to let him show emotion, to push my love for you out through him! You're definitely a type of miracle, Sunshine. I'm proud of what you have become. A Keyblade master no less!"

Katherine smiled sincerely at him, "Thanks Dad...I'm glad to have you" she turned to see a black coated figure, "both of you as my dad"

The black coat revealed its face to be of original Luxu. Black hair and somewhat red brown eyes with a hit of yellow. He was crying.

"I'm so sorry...I took your happiness...I don't deserve..." He hiccuped. Then Katherine hugged him.

"it's ok...I forgive you..." Katherine smiled through her tears, "you were lost but now you are found."

Luxu hugged her but then stepped away, his own heart glowing, "guess now I have to make up for lost time..."

Katherine's heart soon glowed brightly then she started to float, Braig grabbed her hand with a smile as his heart glowed as well.

"I'm glad I got to see you Braig! I'm glad you were my father! I have so much to tell you!" Katherine smiled.

"I'm sure you do...thanks Kiddo" Braig's grip began to slip as the dream was about to sever. "I love you"

Katherine's grip slipped out of his and she screamed as she flew off, "I LOVE YOU TOO!"

★★★★★

Katherine woke up in her bed but she was the only one in it. Where did Luxu go? Maybe he went down to breakfast? Oh right it's daytime now...

Katherine yawned and dressed into different casual clothes. She fixed up her hair and went downstairs.

"Morning mom" Katherine yawned.

"Morning Honeysuckle, your father is upstairs, he'll be down in a few" Ayla smiled as she was finishing making breakfast.

"Old man taking his sweet time...been almost an hour..." Neon groaned, now in his late 20s.

Katherine seemed confused but happy. She got what she wanted and got answers. Ayla sets up the table with food and drinks as creaks come from the stairs. Katherine turned her head as she stacked her plate with pancakes. She saw that her dad was different somehow. His ponytail was now a long fluffy braid, he was wearing an old leather jacket with a white v neck and his scarf and some cool jeans and matching leather boots to the jacket.

"Morning Sunshine, Morning Kiddo" He spoke to Katherine and Neon.

"looks like the old man is being suave and snazzy today" Neon clicked his tongue

"I like it~" Ayla smiled.

"Thank you my Sapphire"

Ayla smiled but then had a confused surprised look on her face before looking at her husband. "Wait...Luxu doesn't call me Sapphire...he calls me Snowball"

"Guilty~" Braig smirked.

"Braig..." Ayla teared up and held his face, "but how...Luxu...he..."

Braig turned to Katherine who had a big smile on her face. "You can thank our daughter for that"

Ayla looked at Katherine and hugged her, sniffling into her daughter's shoulder. "Thank you my sweet girl...thank you..."

"do you still hate Luxu mom?"

It took a bit for Ayla to respond but she said, "not as much as before, I grew to accept...to stay strong for you and Neon."

"good... he's letting Braig take a turn... possibly for the rest of his years..." Katherine smiled. "Making up for lost time"

Ayla smiled gently at her daughter before Braig scooped her by the waist and dipped her a bit. "Oh my..."

"you have no idea how long I've waited to kiss you as me again, Sapphire" Braig smirked.

"me too Lover boy" she grabbed his jacket collar and kissed him sweetly as he embraced her.

"Get a room!" Neon chuckled.

"we could but you might end up with a baby sibling again Neon" Braig laughed.

"Dad's back" Neon laughed with him.

"a baby sibling would be nice~" Katherine smiled like a dork and everyone looked at her.

"I want a sister"

[ladyofthelands]

The below is not mine, i m only taking out of the read more for posterity, so it is not lost. All glory to OP

@lizasweetling (all indented bits from here will be hers):

Because Sith. Bad for mental health of the user and generally bad for their environs But also baby. And if hes dragging Maul around no doubt the dude is constantly himself confused why he is here Like yeah, Sidious sucked, and this 6-9yo is way powerful and knowledgeable on the dark side (?????) But why are we going to the Jedi? And not even trying to kill them apparently?????

Anakin is very much being affected by Baby Brain and Baby Endocrine System. He cries a lot more than he should.

I WASN'T THINKING OF HIM BRINGING MAUL BUT YEAH. THAT'S. THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.

Jedi Council trying to decide if this is more "Adult Sith got shrunk" or "child got evil man's memories." Vader wants to know why it even MATTERS. (He didn't actually plan on telling them, but he has very little self control right now.)

The first Good Act he does is tell them where to find Ventress and Ky. (In the originally timeline, he viewed Ventress as like. Cool older cousin.)

Vader's right, that distinction does not matter Aaaw, she deserves that, that's nice Maybe she will be like 20% less homocidally traumatized

Anakin is furious when Maul and Obi-Wan pick him up under one arm like a package. He is a GROWN MAN he is an ADULT he was a SITH LORD and about to be a FATHER, he is TOO OLD FOR THIS.

They point out that he is Baby.

😂 sorry lord of evil, you're too baby, have a nap and maybe your feel better. Assuming the crisis on Naboo is still happening, and as such the vote of no confidence is right now, it might be a great time to report Sidious as a Sith lord. Post-escape from Sidious, both he and Maul definitely will need a nap. It's that kinda place.

Oh, it's probably at least a year before. Anakin keeps trying to sneak off to kill the man himself, but the Jedi are more ready for his Sneaking than Mustafar was, so he keeps getting caught before he can reach the Senate.

At one point he tries to just CHARGE the place and you get Mace and Obi-Wan sprinting after him. The News captures videos of this very small child getting chased by an older Padawan and a Master and they are mostly yelling for him to PUT DOWN THE SABER.

(Sidious might see him but what's he going to do? Might cause too many problems for Sidious to be aware of Anakin's presence with the Jedi, though. Best not.)

It's probably more expensive on average to hire an assassin on a child, just in general But on a jedi youngling??? If he can even find someone to do that, it will be so very, ridiculously expensive And likely 70%+ upfront payments

Ahsoka definitely seeks him out. Toddler baby child. She adores him for reasons unclear to anyone and everyone.

!!! Baby has baby!! Vader's probably a little thrown by this. Been a while subjectively since someone just loved him. And not even for like, a reason. Baby Vader coerced into sitting obediently for nap by tired kiddo: [The council liked that]

The number of times that vader could only be convinced to nap by Obi-Wan grabbing him, caging him in his own lap, and forced to Sit Quietly until he just fell asleep like that...

He has things to do, he's not tired 😡😡😡💢 (He's 9. Distances are between 150 and 195% longer when measured with steps, he's hungry (subjectively) all the time, and has only middling coordination He so is too tired)

Anakin doesn't know Qui-Gon at all but he keeps getting stuffed into the man's top because he's just. Small enough to fit.

Like the bomb boobs gif, but it's a small child.

the indignity

You just. You can't let him get too self-important.

Vader is Disgusted every time the pediatric healers try to talk down to him like they do to other 6yos.

The difference between this and other "Vader goes back in time to the Jedi" AUs (like Force of Many Sights) is that this Vader has never been a Jedi, and doesn't know anything about them except how they fight when he's trying to kill their friends.

Also Maul's there.

Because even he has a hard time taking himself seriously when hes so easy to manhandle Rest of the time; I am fear, I am death personified As luggage child: I am so small. The tiniest. I crave violence He's probably very annoyed they keep taking away his saber And hey! Obi gets practice not losing his! Woooo!

Something something Anakin clinging to Maul's back (piggy back ride) and chewing on his head or something stupid like that. Perfect height for head biting.

ALT

ALT

You know, the classic anime head bite

Maul probably has been nominally talked into this because this 9yo is a powerful darksider But he is also the world's most annoying tiny kid Maul would've thought his phenotype would make him immune to this ridiculousness He was wrong At least the teeth are a bit less pointy than his other little brothers'? Appreciating the little things

tfw your unwanted little brother drags you to what you think is a cult but actually they're way less culty than your last two places so you just stick around to keep an eye on the little shit

Anyway. ObiMaul for this one.

They're peers They're tired They just want to sit down and not have to chase this weird little murder child They have a lot in common 😊

They are all just a little bit stupid, I love them.

Qui-Gon is a Cool Mom (throws condoms at them and books it).

Yeah, that's about as much involvement as would be appreciated They probably did a lot of sparring before the tension broke Which did not relieve said tension, generally made it worse (Competence, athleticism, sweat-) Vader is confused, but probably doesn't mind He's probably glad they're distracting each other from stopping assassinating a certain someone (Which- that is 9yo hubris. He would need help to do that)

I still can't decide where on 6yo-9yo he falls but somewhere in there

Babies means easier hiding in shirt, teenie Ahsoka, and longer for him to convince the Jedi council to do a Sith hunt before the Naboo situation

Also longer for Maul and Obi-Wan to faff about being all Tension

* Vaguely inspired by the backstory of Rulebreaker/Wildheart, which is great but significantly more of a romance fic than this.

Hey have a fun AU I came up with the other day after reading a bunch of fics with related tropes

It's a raised Sith AU. Anakin was found by Sidious well before he was found by Qui-Gon. He was raised by the Sith, is a classically horrible monster stalking about TCW to be Vader (mask and all, just as an intimidation factor instead of life support) while Ventress and Grievous and Dooku do their own things in a different section of the war. He's got a Really Fucking Weird dynamic with Obi-Wan, mostly attempting to kill him etc.

At some point, Palpatine allows Anakin and Padme to meet. The romance that blooms is one that Sheev decides is useful to him, so he lets it happen.*

Padme gets pregnant. Sidious arranges for her death. Anakin loses his entire shit and tries to kill Sidious. Obi-Wan is off trying to save Padme, unaware of Anakin getting his remaining limbs cut off by his this-universe Master. (This is important, because Anakin does remember Obi-Wan trying to save Padme.)

So we have Anakin, who was raised Sith, and just lost the only things that have mattered to him since his mom died when he was a kid, and Palpatine has pushed him further into the Dark than he ever has. Anakin… knows more about the Sith Secrets in this universe.

Anakin finds a Sithly Time Machine. Maybe on Malachor. There's an owl? Whatever.

Anakin, someone who's been Vader for the vast majority of his life, wakes up at age nine. Maybe even younger, like six. His mother is already dead at Sidious's hands. He's already roommates with Maul. He's already being trained as a baby Sith.

Anakin, being a 20 year old war veteran, is much better at escaping than Sidious has planned for. He reprograms a medical droid to take out his slave chip, steals a ship, etc. All the stuff that Maul wasn't very good at, and Anakin was too young for, so Sidious didn't have the preventative measures in place for yet.

Anakin heads for the one place and person he thinks he can trust: Obi-Wan Kenobi.

(Obi-Wan is still a padawan. But this Baby Sith just declared him Adoptive Teen Dad, so.)

@lizasweetling (all indented bits from here will be hers):

Because Sith. Bad for mental health of the user and generally bad for their environs But also baby. And if hes dragging Maul around no doubt the dude is constantly himself confused why he is here Like yeah, Sidious sucked, and this 6-9yo is way powerful and knowledgeable on the dark side (?????) But why are we going to the Jedi? And not even trying to kill them apparently?????

Anakin is very much being affected by Baby Brain and Baby Endocrine System. He cries a lot more than he should.

I WASN'T THINKING OF HIM BRINGING MAUL BUT YEAH. THAT'S. THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.

Jedi Council trying to decide if this is more "Adult Sith got shrunk" or "child got evil man's memories." Vader wants to know why it even MATTERS. (He didn't actually plan on telling them, but he has very little self control right now.)

The first Good Act he does is tell them where to find Ventress and Ky. (In the originally timeline, he viewed Ventress as like. Cool older cousin.)

Vader's right, that distinction does not matter Aaaw, she deserves that, that's nice Maybe she will be like 20% less homocidally traumatized

Anakin is furious when Maul and Obi-Wan pick him up under one arm like a package. He is a GROWN MAN he is an ADULT he was a SITH LORD and about to be a FATHER, he is TOO OLD FOR THIS.

They point out that he is Baby.

😂 sorry lord of evil, you're too baby, have a nap and maybe your feel better. Assuming the crisis on Naboo is still happening, and as such the vote of no confidence is right now, it might be a great time to report Sidious as a Sith lord. Post-escape from Sidious, both he and Maul definitely will need a nap. It's that kinda place.

Oh, it's probably at least a year before. Anakin keeps trying to sneak off to kill the man himself, but the Jedi are more ready for his Sneaking than Mustafar was, so he keeps getting caught before he can reach the Senate.

At one point he tries to just CHARGE the place and you get Mace and Obi-Wan sprinting after him. The News captures videos of this very small child getting chased by an older Padawan and a Master and they are mostly yelling for him to PUT DOWN THE SABER.

(Sidious might see him but what's he going to do? Might cause too many problems for Sidious to be aware of Anakin's presence with the Jedi, though. Best not.)

It's probably more expensive on average to hire an assassin on a child, just in general But on a jedi youngling??? If he can even find someone to do that, it will be so very, ridiculously expensive And likely 70%+ upfront payments

Ahsoka definitely seeks him out. Toddler baby child. She adores him for reasons unclear to anyone and everyone.

!!! Baby has baby!! Vader's probably a little thrown by this. Been a while subjectively since someone just loved him. And not even for like, a reason. Baby Vader coerced into sitting obediently for nap by tired kiddo: [The council liked that]

The number of times that vader could only be convinced to nap by Obi-Wan grabbing him, caging him in his own lap, and forced to Sit Quietly until he just fell asleep like that...

He has things to do, he's not tired 😡😡😡💢 (He's 9. Distances are between 150 and 195% longer when measured with steps, he's hungry (subjectively) all the time, and has only middling coordination He so is too tired)

Anakin doesn't know Qui-Gon at all but he keeps getting stuffed into the man's top because he's just. Small enough to fit.

Like the bomb boobs gif, but it's a small child.

the indignity

You just. You can't let him get too self-important.

Vader is Disgusted every time the pediatric healers try to talk down to him like they do to other 6yos.

The difference between this and other "Vader goes back in time to the Jedi" AUs (like Force of Many Sights) is that this Vader has never been a Jedi, and doesn't know anything about them except how they fight when he's trying to kill their friends.

Also Maul's there.

Because even he has a hard time taking himself seriously when hes so easy to manhandle Rest of the time; I am fear, I am death personified As luggage child: I am so small. The tiniest. I crave violence He's probably very annoyed they keep taking away his saber And hey! Obi gets practice not losing his! Woooo!

Something something Anakin clinging to Maul's back (piggy back ride) and chewing on his head or something stupid like that. Perfect height for head biting.

You know, the classic anime head bite

Maul probably has been nominally talked into this because this 9yo is a powerful darksider But he is also the world's most annoying tiny kid Maul would've thought his phenotype would make him immune to this ridiculousness He was wrong At least the teeth are a bit less pointy than his other little brothers'? Appreciating the little things

tfw your unwanted little brother drags you to what you think is a cult but actually they're way less culty than your last two places so you just stick around to keep an eye on the little shit

Anyway. ObiMaul for this one.

They're peers They're tired They just want to sit down and not have to chase this weird little murder child They have a lot in common 😊

They are all just a little bit stupid, I love them.

Qui-Gon is a Cool Mom (throws condoms at them and books it).

Yeah, that's about as much involvement as would be appreciated They probably did a lot of sparring before the tension broke Which did not relieve said tension, generally made it worse (Competence, athleticism, sweat-) Vader is confused, but probably doesn't mind He's probably glad they're distracting each other from stopping assassinating a certain someone (Which- that is 9yo hubris. He would need help to do that)

I still can't decide where on 6yo-9yo he falls but somewhere in there

Babies means easier hiding in shirt, teenie Ahsoka, and longer for him to convince the Jedi council to do a Sith hunt before the Naboo situation

Also longer for Maul and Obi-Wan to faff about being all Tension

* Vaguely inspired by the backstory of Rulebreaker/Wildheart, which is great but significantly more of a romance fic than this.

[rickmandowneyjr]

Cuts to Cope

Angst, fluff Pairing: Severus Snape and Student!Reader (platonic) Warning: talk of self-harm, mentions of character's death Word Count: 2348 A/N: This is a little piece I wrote a while ago but didn't know if I should post or not. After re-doing certain bits, I decided to upload it. Hope it's not too difficult to read. As always, the ending is a little abrupt and not too detailed, leaving it sort of up to y'all as well :) Sorry if there are any typos (I only ever get the time to write when it's quite late nowadays)

Yet another day at Hogwarts - waking up at 6:30 am, showering, getting dressed in your robes, and heading to breakfast. Wishing everyone you passed a good morning, wearing your signature smile as you did.

You were a 7th year, one of the few returning ones after last year's incident with Cedric Diggory. He'd been your best friend, or at least that's what people thought. Cedric Diggory and you had been dating for the last 7 months before his death. You didn't want anyone knowing because being star students meant eyes prying into every aspect of your relationship.

People praised you, a model student and now, prefect, who set an example. An example of how to be strong and cope no matter what life threw at you. Little did they know, you harboured a little secret. A dark, horrifying, and disturbing secret that would never let anyone look at you the same way if they ever found out.

Your first class for the day was Potions. You were a brilliant student, especially at Potions, yet Snape still had something against you. You didn't take it personally, though; he wasn't really fond of anyone. You walked into class, taking your regular seat at the front. Snape walked into class a little while later, slamming the door behind him, commanding everyone's attention.

"Turn to page 420," he drawled. You opened the book to find the recipe for Amortentia. Your heart felt a tug at the name of the love potion, never having been able to find out the answers with Cedric.

Snape's deep voice brought your focus back to class as he said, "Since it takes a week to brew, I've already completed most of the process. All you need to do is the last day's work," making the class sigh with relief. "However," he continued, "The last day of brewing is crucial and not easy. So, I expect your attention to be fully on the task at hand."

You began brewing the potion, following the steps perfectly. Snape sat down to grade papers as the class worked. He looked at you and said, "Ms. [L/N], roll up your sleeves while you work. I'd hate for there to be mishaps in my class because of one student's carelessness."

You hesitated, but then did as asked. You weren't the best at wandless magic but had made sure to perfect this spell solely for such instances. As you rolled your sleeves, you subtly waved your hand over your forearms, mumbling, "Illusiont," and casting the disillusionment charm.

You saw Snape narrow his eyes at you and panicked for a second before you saw him shake his head and return to grading. Breathing a sigh of relief, you returned to the task at hand and continued brewing.

After a while, you'd finished, and were the first one to have done so. Snape walked over to your desk and took a whiff of the potion, raising an eyebrow before giving you a single nod of approval, letting you know that it was perfect. Once everyone was done, he walked around, starting at the back, and asked everyone to announce what they smelled. You hadn't smelled your Amortentia yet and hadn't planned on doing so either, feeling quite relieved when Snape hadn't asked that question earlier.

Your heart rate quickened as you began to worry about how your body and mind would react to smelling it. You couldn't do it last year, since the Triwizard tournament had led to a bunch of classes being cancelled. As you thought about how excited you had been at the prospect of sharing the experience with Cedric, Snape's voice pulled you back to your potions class.

"Ms. [L/N]."

"Yes, sir?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "What. Do. You. Smell," he spoke, irritation evident in every word.

You swallowed hard as you leaned forward to inhale the scent. Your pupils dilated, your heartbeat quickened and your knees threatened to give out at the all-too-familiar fragrance. Your throat went dry as you stopped the tears from forming.

"Well? We haven't got all day, class is to be dismissed soon." He raised an eyebrow at you, asking you to hurry up since you were the last one.

With every ounce of energy, you calmed yourself and stopped your voice from wavering. "Old books, butterscotch and... vanilla," you sighed. Your breathing was erratic and you knew you needed to get out of class and get to the abandoned girls' washroom.

As if on cue, the bell rang, dismissing the class. Snape gave you an odd look and was about to ask you what was wrong but you had already gathered your belongings and were marching out the door. He decided to follow you since he'd never seen you act like that before and was wondering what had happened to you all of a sudden.

You made your way up the stairs, hurrying before you had a breakdown in the middle of the hallway. As you reached the washroom, you started rummaging through your bag since the hallway was empty. You took the small blade that you carried around out, pushing the door to the bathroom open.

Snape's POV

I followed her out of the classroom. Though not my favourite, [Y/N] was an incredible witch and this wasn't normal behaviour for her. She'd marched out before I had even dismissed class which concerned me even more, given her usually 'perfect' behaviour. She paced through the hallways and up the stairs so fast that I could've sworn she was moving around faster than I did on a normal basis. There was an urgency in her stride and I don't know why, but it concerned me.

She finally turned into the hallway leading to the girls' washroom on the third floor, which was odd. No one used this, as far as I was aware. I was a little embarrassed, considering I'd just followed a young girl to a washroom. In an isolated area, at that. I swear I never would've imagined myself going even further and following her in, but what I'd seen had shocked and concerned me enough to do just that.

End of Snape's POV

As you entered the bathroom, you had missed Snape, whose eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. [Y/N] [L/N], the golden girl of Hogwarts, had just walked into an abandoned washroom after pulling out a blade from her bag. Not wanting to jump to any conclusions, he rushed in, wanting to confirm what his eyes had just seen.

As you were about to enter a stall, the door to the bathroom, swung open, making you jump. You hid the blade by making a fist, unintentionally cutting into your palm. You winced at the unexpected pain but didn't let it show.

You turned to face Professor Snape, and he was eyeing your hand. 'There's no way he saw it, is there?' you thought.

"Ms. [L/N], care to show me your hands?"

You panicked. He knew. You tried to divert his attention. "Sir, this is the girls' washroom."

"I'm aware," he stated. "Now... Hands," he said as he glared at you, letting you know that he wouldn't fall for any attempts to change the subject.

You sighed and opened your hands, and saw his gaze soften. He walked to you taking your hand in his as he gently pulled the razor out. You winced as it came out, knowing this would impair you for the rest of your classes.

"What were you thinking?!" He scolded, startling you. He reached for your arm, rolling up your sleeves once again and muttered, "Finite."

The scars on your arms started showing up and you couldn't do anything but look away, your eyes resting anywhere but his gaze.

"So that was the Disillusionment Charm I heard you use, earlier."

You stayed silent, still refusing to meet his eyes. Of all the professors, it had to be him. Sure, he wasn't fond of you, but you had immense respect for the man, and to let him see you in this light... it took every bit of you to not lose your composure.

"Look at me," he said.

You turned to face him. His usually cold eyes showed too much concern and the uncharacteristic response from the potions master was proving to be a lot to handle. Tears stung your eyes as he stared at you.

"Why?" He asked, his voice so genuine that you couldn't help but let your emotions spill, creating a mess that you couldn't be bothered to care about anymore.

"I can't do this anymore," you sniffled. "I don't want to. He was everything to me and it just hurts so much."

"Who?"

"Cedric."

"Ah, yes. I'm aware you and Mr. Diggory were best friends. I'm sorry, [Y/N]."

"No," you said, finally being able to talk to someone about it. "He was my boyfriend. And... I never got to tell him I loved him... because I wasn't sure. Today just made it worse when I smelled him in my Amortentia. It confirmed that I did and I never got to say it." You were sobbing now, not caring what you looked like, what a mess you probably were, or what Snape was thinking of you and your confession.

You felt him awkwardly wrap his arms around you as he pulled your head to his chest. Your cries got louder and your wails of agony echoed in the empty washroom as your hands clutched the fabric of his robes. The feeling of someone comforting you was overwhelming. You'd always had to keep up this image of a perfect student, reliable friend, someone who could never have such horrifying tendencies.

Even then, as you cried out loud, your instinct made you bury your face in his chest, muffling the 'ugly' sobs. Snape's heart broke as your thoughts flooded his mind. As you struggled to breathe, he turned your head slightly, making you audible again. He didn't hush you; just stroked your hair as your tears soaked his robes.

It took a while, but you finally calmed down, your sobs reducing to soft whimpers before they died out entirely. Your throat was sore, and lips, chapped from all the crying. Your eyes were red and puffy, and the reality of the situation finally came crashing down on you.

Your secret was out. More than one, at that. One of the professors knew, and the strictest one too. You had just spent Merlin knows how long crying into his chest, which was now soaked with your tears.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, your voice, hoarse. "Your robes are all wet now," you said, trying to move away.

"That's the least of my worries right now," he said, keeping your head in place as he continued, "I understand what you're going through. Better than you'd know." It sounded like it was painful for him to talk about it, the tone of his voice giving the vulnerability away. "But this is not the way to deal with it," he said as rubbed your back.

"Does it go away?"

"I'll be honest," he sighed. "It does get lesser with time if you allow yourself to heal. However, it never goes away entirely. A part of you will always love and miss him. I'm sorry," he said.

"No, I'm glad. I don't want to forget him. Or my love for him. Cedric Diggory was and will always be - my first love."

You finally pulled away from his chest and looked him in the eyes as he gave you a gentle smile. You managed to muster a somber one and sighed.

"Do any of your friends know?"

"Merlin, no!"

"Why not? They're your friends. They could-"

"I can't have this getting out. Everyone will-"

"Who cares what people think?" He raised his voice. It was silent for a while before he sighed and spoke again.

"[Y/N], I want you to promise me something."

You knew what was coming. You gulped and nodded softly.

"I want you to promise me that you'll stop this. Cedric wouldn't want this for you."

"I know, and I've tried before. It's not that simple-"

"I know," he said, cutting you off. "Which is why, the next time you get the urge to do this, you'll come to me. No matter what the situation might be."

You were surprised at his words. It was incredibly nice of him to offer this to you, and you nodded, accepting his generosity.

"Also," he continued, "Please stop going to such great lengths to please others and worrying about what others think. It's not healthy."

"But-"

"But nothing. Your health is suffering and you can't even bring yourself to tell anyone because you're so busy keeping up this little charade of 'everything is fine'."

You stayed silent. There was truth in his words and you couldn't refute his accusations. You just looked up at him, once again, finding the uncharacteristic concerned look meeting your gaze. Nodding softly, you agreed. How could you not when someone had shown you such consideration and compassion?

A small smile graced his usually stoic face as he helped you up, and you both made your way out of the bathroom. He escorted you back to your dormitories, ensuring you were alright before the two of you parted ways.

The rest of the school year passed and Snape stayed true to his word, and you to yours. Every time you felt the urge to hurt yourself to relieve the pain, you'd find Snape. He was patient and helped you every step of the way. Slowly, but surely, you were able to overcome your urges and also found yourself living for yourself, rather than up to others' expectations.

By the time you graduated, you had overcome the habit and thanked Snape in your graduation speech, never giving away the details as to why. A lot of people had assumed there was something between the two of you, especially since you went to meet him all through the school year, but you didn't let it bother you, because... Who cares what people think, right?

-

P.S. - Sorry I've been a little slow with the writing. My college assignments have started rolling in and I'm currently swamped. Also, I'm working on a little something (announcing it in 2-3 days so make sure to check in lol). Rest assured, I'm slowly and steadily making my way through requests. Thank you for understanding <3

[chaoticevilbean]

Another Star Wars AU, TBN*

*To-Be-Named

I love time travel. A lot. So here is a time-travel au, with the CW trio.

Somehow, perhaps by touching a Sith artifact, perhaps by the Force deciding they should, perhaps from some sort of weird ritual the locals were performing that the trio didn't know about, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Anakin, Rex, and Cody travel aback in time.

[Please keep in mind that Canon Timeline has died tragically in a fire, and I am but the weeping widow with an inheritance.]

Due to whatever happened, they all also end up (technically) deaging. They still have their memories and their knowledge and skills, just stuck in smaller bodies. They can think and act like adults, but they also have to struggle a bit more to implement Older Skills in Younger Bodies.

Ahsoka is 2. She's nubby. She's emotional. She's tired and sore from her deaging.

She wakes up in someone's office. She's in a spinny chair, a big one with leather padding. It's kind-of chilly in the room.

She's not thinking, because all her brain is putting together is that she's still tired. She grabs the jacket off the back of the chair and pulls it over herself. She goes back to sleep.

Rex and Cody wake up together.

They are their actual age, which is to say they're both about eleven.

They find themselves on Mandalore. In the more wild areas.

(let me believe that there are parts of the planet that aren't covered in city)

(also, this is the Mandalore in the cartoons)

They find a teen trying to wake them both up. Rex has absolutely no clue what's going on. Cody has a vague idea, because this girl looks very similar to a picture he once saw...

Obi-Wan does not fare as well. He is 3.

He wakes up in someone's arms. He's just as tired and sore as the other three. However, he's also got more awareness because he's in someone's arms.

He looks up to see who's carrying him.

He looks around at the people walking with them.

He starts crying. He cannot help this, as he is suddenly flooded with Emotions, and he is Smol. Smol = harder to handle Emotions.

Because Qui-Gon is walking right next to him, tapping away on a holopad as they go. Dooku is on his other side, on a comm call where both parties sound very tired.

And Obi-Wan is being held... by Obi-Wan.

So, yeah, not that great for a suddenly Smol Obi.

Now, Anakin is 8, so he's better off in that perspective.

But he wakes up on some remote planet without anyone around. He just was in the middle of a group, so he ends up kinda panicking.

Then he hears something coming towards him, and he panics more.

He's Tiny! He's Smol! He's massively at a disadvantage against attacks! He can't fight off whatever is on a planet like this!

It's Mace (and Depa).

Anakin, however, doesn't realize this. He has gone Feral.

Back to the beginning

Jango Fett has been very busy w/Important Mand'alor Paperwork all day. He finally has time to go and relax a little, and he makes it all the way down to the exit before he realizes:

It is really cold outside. He is not in armor bc he was planning to only do paperwork today (though he still has many weapons). When one plans to stay in the same room for almost the entire day, one does not wear normal garb.

That said, he has no protection from the cold. He forgot his jacket upstairs. He rushes back up to his office.

He distinctly remembers that he left the jacket on the back of his chair, not on the seat.

He also is wondering what that lump is.

He arms himself, grabs some of his "emergency" armor plating, and walks over to the chair.

He lifts his jacket up, expecting a bomb or some paperwork that fell off the desk, or something logical.

He does not expect to find a tiny Togruta child clinging onto the fabric, whining as they're woken up by his yanking of the jacket.

Jango's brain stutters for a moment, then he kicks into action.

First things first, he wraps the jacket around the Togruta. They thankfully stay asleep. Then he turns up the heat, because he knows the office has gotten colder in the twenty minutes or so he's been gone, and Togruta are from warm temperate zones.

He decides to call, in this order, a guard who can help him watch the Togruta (they did break in, after all), a medic to check the Togruta’s health, and the first person he can find in his contacts that might know an adult Togruta.

Next group

Rex and Cody manage to get the teen to stop fussing over them for long enough to ask for her name.

Her, clearly lying, but that’s understandable: My name is Ine.

Cody, who knows exactly who this is now: Oh, kriff. You’re Duchess Satine, aren’t you? Kriff.

Rex: Wait, Satine? As in the General’s Satine?

Satine, now very suspicious and reaching for her stunner: I think you need proper medical attention.

Cody, looking down at their eleven-year-old selves: Yeah, I think so, too.

They agree on one thing, at least.

Next

Obi-Wan is crying. Loudly, uncontrollably, w/too many Emotions to even care that he’s supposed to be an adult rn.

Other Obi-Wan is very uncomfortable, bc he doesn’t know how to handle children too well.

They found this kid unconscious in the middle of a ruined, abandoned town.

Obi-Wan was meant to hold this kid while Qui-Gon did research and Master Dooku tried to convince the Council that it was entirely necessary to bring the kid back to Coruscant. Granted, they can still give the child to the locals at any time before they make it back to their ship, but apparently the Force is Being Loud.

The Force was Being Loud when it told Master Dooku to come along.

The Force was Being Loud when it led them to that town.

Qui-Gon and Dooku have argued fifteen and a half times on this mission, and an additional six times on the flight here. Obi-Wan is trying to mediate but also doesn’t want to overstep. The Force is Being Loud, sure, but the kid is also Force-sensitive so it might be something off that.

He didn’t argue with holding the kid bc he thought that it was better than being caught between the Masters.

Holding a crying child and trying to get two adults to stop arguing bc they can’t decide how to comfort the kid is not better.

Obi-Wan keeps walking past them to the ship with this baby. He does what he’s seen some crechemasters do to the younglings. The kid eventually calms a little, and he belatedly realizes that both Masters are still behind him, not with him.

NEXT

Anakin is panakin.

He is currently in a state of Feralness. His instincts have kicked into overdrive, full-on Survival Mode.

Depa and Mace do not know this. All they know is that there was suddenly an extremely powerful Force presence that started fading quickly (bc Anakin started shielding).

They burst into sight of Anakin and are suddenly attacked by all four feet and some of Feral Force Child.

It’s all they can do for a good minute or so to avoid losing their fingers, eyes, or untorn clothes.

Mace puts a few things together very quickly.

This planet is uninhabited by any sapient life. Therefore, this child is utterly alone. This child also is clearly strong in the Force, and knows how to hide their presence, for whatever reasons. Mace is a Jedi, and therefore is bound by certain duties.

He decides it is his Duty to get this kid back to Coruscant safely.

Back to the beginning

Ahsoka wakes up to find a familiar face looking down at her. She’s still tired, but not as much. She’s very aware of her size, and does a few quick observations.

She does not fully know who Jango Fett is. She does know that some clones run off bc they hate war and weren’t given a choice an- no. Not going down that path yet.

Ahsoka assumes, semi-incorrectly, that she was shrunk or deaged and somehow found by a rogue clone.

She knows it’s a rogue clone bc they’ve got weird armor.

So she does the logical thing and tries to comfort this clone bc he looks really worried and kinda panicked. She stands up on the spinny chair and tries to balance and he practically lunges to help her and she can’t help but giggle, but it comes out in a bunch of chirps instead.

The clone picks her up and looks really awkward so she pats his face bc that’s the best she can do bc she doesn’t want to disprove the fact she’s two yet.

For all she knows, this rogue clone has no idea she’s actually a Commander in the GAR.

He doesn’t, but for different reasons than she thinks.

NEXT

Rex and Cody go with Satine to the city. They have introduced themselves and said that they were separated from their aliit. They don't know where said aliit is.

Satine is highly suspicious by this point, bc these two kids recognized her with only part of her name, and they were alone, and they speak Basic with Mando'a thrown in.

Basically, she thinks that they're children of people like Death Watch, but she's too young to know that Death Watch isn't really into children.

Rex and Cody get checked over by a medic, but also start trying to get access to some working comms. They are refused on account of being suspicious children (which makes them a little upset bc they're not children)(Well, they are, but not those types of children)

They have not yet figured out that they are in the past, bc Cody and Rex only know that General Kenobi talks about Duchess Satine, and they know about Padme Amidala from General Skywalker, so clearly this Duchess is really young and the General simply viewed her as someone he wants to protect.

They are very very very wrong.

NEXT

Obi-Wan manages to calm himself somewhat now that it's just him and... him.

He is three, and he knows roughly what's happening, so he knows he should probably act like a 3yo.

Unfortunately, he has very little understanding of how child ages work. 3 is smart enough to go up the stairs and communicate with adults, but def. not old enough to speak sentences that are 15 words long with at least 2 5-syllable words.

Fortunately, his older (younger?) self doesn't know children either.

So when this 3yo starts telling him that he needs to leave the two Masters on the planet and head to Tatooine really fast, Obi-Wan is more concerned about the idea than the strangeness of "this is a 3yo suggesting this".

Obi-Wan is really good at convincing people. Including himself. He manages to get Padawan Kenobi to leave supplies where the ship is supposed to be and head towards Tatooine.

He says that the Masters will be fine, they know how to survive, and they need to be alone together in order to work through all the tension. Plus, it gives them plenty of time to talk to the Council.

Toddler Kenobi also tells himself that he'll take the blow and say he used a mind-trick.

Padawan Kenobi doesn't believe him yet, but Toddler Kenobi smiles like a very smug adult and says "you'll get there eventually". What he truly means is up in the air.

NEXT

Anakin, since waking up, knows much less than everyone else. Which is saying something.

He knows he's Smol. He knows he's Alone. He knows Someone has come and they are Strangers.

One thing about Anakin's instincts is that they are very much Survival Based. He was Feral when he joined the Jedi, only he had to hold those instincts back for most of his life bc of being a slave.

A slave cannot bite someone who approaches and Vibes Wrong.

By the time he felt okay with being Feral Out Loud, he also felt safe enough that he didn't need to activate his Survival Mode.

What I'm trying to say is that Anakin does not realize how strong his Feral Instincts are. He has absolutely no control over them rn.

When Mace decides to Help this child, this child is trying to Maul them.

Mace makes a small ruckus to draw Anakin's attention to him so Depa can move back. Depa pulls out her saber now that she won't hit the kid. The kid notices Purple and Bright and Lightsaber.

Lorge Jedi Mind says this is Good. Safe. Jedi.

Smol Feral Brain says this is Dangerous. Mean.

Anakin freezes on sight and just starts tracking Depa's saber. She does one of those things where a snake or something is focused and the person waves the fire or the food slowly to make sure the wolf is watching it and usually they toss the thing away so the snake follows it.

Mace instead takes this opportunity to wrap Anakin in his cloak. And Depa's cloak. And the spare ones in their bags.

Feral Child is not happy with this. Feral Child is also unable to scratch or Maul or do things other than bite and snarl.

Depa carries Feral Child while Mace comms the Temple and they walk back to their ship.

The Temple is having a field day.

First, one of their Shadows reports that a well-known bounty hunter got an emergency message from a pal of theirs that said Jango Fett needs help learning Togruta childcare.

Then they get a call from Dooku, which is not the mission report they wanted.

Yoda: Mission report, you have?

Dooku: Of a sort. We successfully spoke with the locals, then went to investigate a rather large disturbance.

Mundi: A disturbance?

Dooku: We found the source to be a Force-sensitive child.

Mundi: So you are here to ask for more time on the planet?

Dooku:...

Yoda: Bring the child back, you wish to?

Dooku, unapologetic: He is of an acceptable age to be admitted into the Temple, and no other beings were around at the time to entertain the idea of there being guardians.

The Council is sighing and muttering bc this is a Disaster Lineage (and they haven't even met the other two yet). Their call is interrupted by the sound of crying and Dooku saying the child's woken up.

Then there's another Shadow who sends a message saying a set of twins that seem like Death Watch were found by the heir of Clan Kryze.

Finally, to top everything off, they get a call from Mace Windu and Depa Billaba. Two very dignified, not-at-all chaotic Jedi from a perfectly respectable lineage.

Yeah, most of the Council and the Order itself forgets that Yoda had a hand in raising Windu. Yoda "Feral Grandpa" who throws children at every problem. Grandson isn't doing too well? Throw a child his way. Other grandchild is struggling to cope with grief? Throw another child their way. Oh, there's a war going on and newest grandchild is angry a lot? Here's a child!

The entire lineage has a soft spot for children.

Anyways...

Mace: Our mission was a success. We found the artifact and both specimens.

Koth: How long until your return?

Mace:...

Yoda: Found a child, you did?

Gallia: Master Yoda, that's a rather illogical guess. Once is unusual, twice is-

Mace: Oh, did Qui-Gon find a child as well?

Yoda, smugly: Bringing the child back, are you?

Depa, from the background, after a rather loud snarl is heard: We do not bite things, young one.

*more snarling*

Mace: We have no reason to believe he was not alone.

Tiin: *deep sighing*

Mundi: *mild confusion noises*

Koon, eagerly: Please send photos of this youngling. For the archives, of course.

Mace, nodding sagely: Of course.

*extremely loud yowl* *sounds of Mace turning*

Mace: DEPA!

Depa: He nearly bit off my finger!

Mace: That doesn’t mean you pinch him!

Depa: What else am I supposed to do?!

*sudden exclamation filled solely of Mando’a, Huttese and Twi’leki curses*

Mace: So, I don’t know if he speaks Basic, but Master Che should be able to talk him through a check-up.

Yeah, several Council members are experiencing headaches now. Normally, they would have some empathy for Mace and his own stress-induced migraines. They currently do not.

Right after that call, Dooku calls back to say that Obi-Wan has left without them.

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Dooku:

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Obi-Wan did not leave himself with the Masters. Obi-Wan has listened to Mini-Obi and is off on some wild space adventure to a criminal-run planet.

The toddler won’t stop staring at him. He asks for a name. The kid says to call him Ben.

OW: Is that your name?

“Ben”: It is a name I am called :)

OW: That isn’t what I meant.

“Ben”: I know :)

Ben also keeps staring at OW’s lightsaber. OW decides to make sure the kid doesn’t start playing with it when he isn’t looking.

MEANWHILE

Ahsoka has figured out that she was really very oh-so wrong. She’s on Mandalore. As in, the Mandalore that is under Jango Fett. Bc she’s with Jango Fett. He’s holding her hand bc she was nervous about the strange looking medic (who was just wearing armor, but not clone armor and civies don’t wear armor.)

Ahsoka knows very little about Jango Fett. Clone Buir, Mandalorian leader, tried to kill Master Kenobi. Also dead.

He asks how she got in. She shrugs. She is too small to fight back so she can’t let him know anything. Whatever everything is right now. But also, he doesn’t seem mean or evil or anything.

Oh yeah. Skyguy said that Mandos love children. That's why the clones were so protective of her, even with Skyguy on her side of the argument.

She decides to use this to her advantage. She can probably get herself a comm, and enough time to call the Temple. If she can convince them she at least knows a Jedi, then they can come get her and she'll work from there.

ELSEWHERE

Rex and Cody are getting really upset. This Duchess is really nice, but she's acting really weird and keeps insisting she's not actually called Duchess. No one will give them a comm, they keep getting weird looks for speaking Mando'a even though they're on Mandalore, and Satine's father keeps mentioning a Fett. Maybe Boba's set a bad example again.

Rex starts to fall asleep, to his chagrin. He's too bored, sitting and getting some abnormally extensive check-up. Cody is fine, but he's used to the calm that is General Kenobi. Rex usually has a Togruta teen in the vents and a Human that is never where he's supposed to be.

Rex does, in fact, fall asleep. His "twin" starts glaring when a doctor goes to wake him up. Cody makes it clear that his brother is like Cat: once asleep, you do not wake.

Satine is giggling, but trying not to let the others hear. Cody does. Cody looks at her. They have a stare-off.

Cody goes back to glaring at the doctors. He will not admit to any emotions besides Protect™.

BACK TO

Obi-Wan and Ben have made it to Tatooine.

[blackkatmagic]

Could I please request a drabble with Mace meeting Jaster? Time travel shenanigans would be loved and heart-eyed, but are not required.

“A Jedi is hiring a Mandalorian for a job?” Jaster asks, one brow raised, and can't help the thread of incredulity that creeps into his voice. “Perhaps you're confused, Jetii, but our people have been enemies for millennia.”

“I'm well aware,” the Jedi says, unmoving. Jaster has, admittedly, never been quite this close to a Jedi, and he can't help but be faintly impressed at the man’s stoneface, particularly given the bright-eyed Chalactan girl peering around his side. Her hands are hooked into his sash without any apparent fear of being shaken off, or any apparent concern for her Master’s dignity, and Jaster finds himself reluctantly amused despite the man’s temerity.

“Oh?” Jaster asks, leaning back in his chair. His blaster is within easy reach, and the Jedi is far enough away that Jaster has the advantage. “Bold of you to approach me with a job offer, then.”

“Is it?” the man asks, and reaches up, folding his hood back. Jaster stills, startled, because he hadn’t thought there were Korun Jedi—Myles has always been very insistent that the Korun people have their own Force traditions, and outsiders aren’t welcome to step into them. He’s a handsome one, too, tall and broad shouldered, with a lean strength to him that even the loose, comfortable robes can't hide. Steady, he meets Jaster's eyes, and says, low, “It seems to me, Mand’alor, that our status as enemies means no one will suspect me of having hired you.”

Ah, Jaster thinks, smiling. Like that, is it. He hums, then says, “Jango, who don’t you show this lovely padawan the gardens? I'm sure she would like to see them.”

“What?” Jango demands, outraged the way only a fourteen-year-old can be. “Buir, I'm not leaving—”

Jaster levels a pointed look at his son, and his mouth snaps shut. He scowls, deep and affronted, and crosses his arms over his chest. “You shouldn’t be meeting with a Jedi alone,” he says grumpily. “Myles is going to yell at you.”

“Myles will survive,” Jaster says, though it’s likely true. “Master Jedi, I hope you don’t object to speaking privately.”

“Of course not,” the Jedi says, perfectly calm, and glances down at his padawan. “Depa. Be polite.”

That is, Jaster reflects wryly, an incrediblyfamiliar tone of voice. He’s willing to bet the girl gets herself into almost as much trouble as Jango, given how practiced it sounds.

And, on cue, the girl beams up at her Master without hesitation. “I'm always polite, Master Mace,” she protests, perfectly, wickedly innocent. Mace doesn’t answer, just sighs, and Depa laughs, rising up on her tiptoes. She hauls him down, no thought given to dignity, and plants a loud, showy kiss on his cheek, then hops back two steps and turns that smile on Jango, who freezes like he was just dipped in carbonite, his eyes going wide.

She is, Jaster thinks with amusement, a very pretty girl. He wonders how quickly Jango will manage to stick his foot in his mouth this time. Within ten minutes, judging by last time. Jaster doesn’t precisely have high hopes for their interaction, but at least this isn't the daughter of a high-profile client that Jango is going to offend. The Jedi needs them, not the other way around, and given Jedi morals, he likely won't turn to the Death Watch the instant he’s insulted.

“Depa,” Mace says, a warning, but Depa ignores it, grinning at Jango and folding her hands behind her.

“I would love to see the garden,” she says cheerfully. “Jango, was it?”

“Jango Fett,” Jango says, only a little mulishly, and takes a careful step forward, like he’s worried she’s going to bite him. “It’s this way, I guess.”

He couldn’t sound less enthusiastic if he tried. Jaster rather suspects he is.

As the door slides shut behind their two witnesses, though, Jaster's amusement fades slightly, and he turns his gaze on Mace, narrow and thoughtful as he considers the man, his presence on Mandalore, the quiet, entirely understated way he arrived.

“This isn't a mission from the Jedi Order,” he says, weighing. “I might even go so far as to say they have no idea of your presence here.”

“They don’t,” Mace says bluntly. “I'm here on my own business, and acting on information the Jedi Council isn't privy to.” There's a pause, and then a rueful curve just touches one corner of his mouth. “Believe me, Mand’alor. I do not go behind the Council’s back easily. This is vital, and I'm willing to provide the funds to prove it.”

Jaster smiles, a little humorless, a little thin. He’s not fond of being played, and this sounds very much like Mace is trying. “I have plenty of credits, Master Jedi. Why should I find yours any more appealing than anyone else’s?”

Mace doesn’t hesitate this time, just raises his chin. “Because I have something that is far more valuable than credits,” he says calmly. “I can provide you with information.”

It is, Jaster will admit, a tempting prospect, but he’s still wary. “Jedi information? Access to the Archives, perhaps? If I wanted dry Jedi tomes on political law—”

“No,” Mace interrupts, flat, and takes two steps forward, until he’s right across Jaster's desk. “Far more important and immediate information. Such as the name of the traitor who will kill you. And the location of Jango Fett's older sister.”

Jaster freezes, hardly daring to breathe. Arla was gone by the time he’d made it back to the Fett homestead on Concord Dawn, and no trace of her has ever surfaced. Jaster has been looking, because Jango speaks of her endlessly, but—

“That,” he rasps, voice half-caught in his throat, “could be considered blackmail, Master Jedi.”

Mace tips his head. “Proof of my desperation,” he says, and there's no self-consciousness to it, just blunt honesty. A pause, and then he says, faintly rueful, “I’ll give you her location whether you take the job or not. The Death Watch has her.”

Jaster was afraid of that. He breathes out, slow, careful, and—the willingness to offer up half of his bargaining chips makes him more inclined to trust Mace, even if a flicker of wariness still remains. “And the job is?”

Mace doesn’t waver, doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t flinch. “I want you to assassinate the senior senator from Naboo. Sheev Palpatine. He’s a Sith apprentice.”

Of all the things that Jaster was expecting, that most certainly wasn’t among them.

It takes him a long moment to scrape together a coherent response, another still to get the words right. “Apprentice,” he echoes. “Usually, an apprentice follows a master. Who is the Sith Master, then?”

“A scientist and a banker,” Mace says coolly. “Palpatine is the more dangerous target, and a better duelist. I can handle the Master, but the apprentice I would leave to someone more adept at assassinations.”

It would hardly be the first time the Mandalorians have been hired for such a thing, and Jaster is more than willing to do it. Knowing that Mace will be fighting his own battle allays some of Jaster's fears as well, and he leans on one arm of his chair, considering the man.

“A fraught mission,” he says, “on both parts. You have a plan, I assume.”

If anything, Mace looks amused at that. “The Jedi do not plan,” he says, a trace of humor in the words. “I trust the Force to see me through, however. And as I am training Depa, I will have all the time I need to see things through.”

Jedi, Jaster thinks, and doesn’t roll his eyes. Quite. “And would you care to tell me where you got this information, Master Jedi? Particularly about a traitor within the ranks of the True Mandalorians. I must admit that one surprises me.”

Mace is silent for another moment. “From the future,” he finally offers. “I traveled back with the help of a Force nexus. In the time I came from, the True Mandalorians were wiped out, and the Sith won.”

Something cold slides down Jaster's spine, and he rises slowly, comes to his feet to face the Jedi. Mace meets his eyes, holds his gaze, and—

He looks tired, Jaster thinks, calculating, considering. Tired in a bone-deep, weary way that Jaster had managed to miss before, buried as it was by his determination. Traveled back from the future, through time itself, and Jaster didn’t know such a thing was possible.

Not possible for most people, he thinks, watching Mace. And not optimal even for this one.

“Very well,” he says after a long minute of silence. “But on the condition that you stay here and provide your information throughout the mission. I won't have a Sith kill my men because you think you have better things to do.”

The relief that slides over Mace's expression is subtle, but—Jaster catches it easily. “Agreed,” he says. “We will rely on your hospitality, Mand’alor.”

“Jaster, please,” Jaster says, and moves around the end of his desk, taking Mace's arm. Muscled, he thinks, and that’s likely a good sign. Not a useless Jedi, hopefully. Not if he’s certain he can take on a Sith. “I think the use of first names is allowable now that you're my guest.”

“You have a liberal interpretation of guest,” Mace says dryly, but he doesn’t pull away as Jaster leads him out of the office, and Jaster is willing to count it as a win.

[On AO3]

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: When they get scared by the reader (REQUESTED)

Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post

Requested by: @_Milla_7849_

SCP 073 (Cain)

I feel like Cain normally wouldn't be scared

Like if you made him watch a horror movie, he might flinch slightly but wouldn't be terrified of it

So when you try to scare him like a prank sort of way, he would flinch a little more than usual but would recover seconds later

Like that one time when he was alone walking down the hallway looking zoned out since he was thinking of something

And you just crept up to him like the sneaky little child you are and jumped onto his back

He did get a load yelp but realised it was you

Luckily for you, Cain didn't give you a lecture like before and actually laughed with you

However, if you were kidnapped or taken hostage or used for an experiment, it would obviously frighten him and he wouldn't forgive himself

So to prevent this, he would keep you within his line of sight at all times

Anyways, as I've mentioned before, Cain would probably also give you a tight hug after your little stunt and unbeknownst to him, the researchers recorded it for a laugh

Cain did give you a lecture but forgave you since you were so young and he couldn't resist those eyes

And the researchers did give you some sweets

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

Now, a warrior like Abel wouldn't be so easily frightened

Especially if it was a child, even more so if it's you since he knows you too well and has personally trained you from the age of 5

Basically, Abel would notice your movement and body language well since you're both stuck together

So you have devices a plan with your scientist friends to try and scare him

And yes, it's working

Because Abel got extremely distracted by Iris

Iris basically got yahooted into this mess and was told to wear a lingerie

Yes, you did scare him by shoving him into Iris

I wouldn't say he got a scare, but more like a surprise

Poor girl she just wanted to sleep

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster) 999 would most likely be scared the easiest out of everyone on this list

Aside from Glass

He's like a close second

Back to 999, you both were just chilling and wandering around the facility aimlessly

Because yall are boring (TBF you're both trapped in this giant mf blop of a building)

Anyways, let's just say that it was Bright and Clef who introduced you to the world of pranks and you guys thought it would be funny to scare our 999 here

Basically, yall decided to play dead and then pretend to turn into zombies with some makeup

Yes, it did work since you've managed to scare the living daylights out of 999

And he was about to have a cardiac arrest (if he even has a biological heart)

And yes, it almost ended in another breach

And 999 did give you a lecture on how to not scare people like that

He does sound like a grandpa though XD

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

I would say that scaring 682 would be difficult, but I won't since he's already terrified of that rabbit

You, along with the other researchers, thought it'll be fun to pull a prank on 682 in form of a magic trick

It's a classic rabbit in the hat trick and yes, you did pull SCP 524 out of the hat

But, little did your tiny brain know, that rabbit basically eats everything, including itself

So you just watched 524 approaches the already terrified 682 and nibble on his feet

And yes, you and the other researchers laughed hard since he crawled up the wall to get away from the rabbit (I'm now officially adopting 524 as my other pet)

Sadly, 524 didn't stay for long since another doctor needed him for a test with Josie (yes, the cat)

682 basically shouted at you for doing such a thing on him, your dad

But you ignored him anyways since you knew he never meant what he said and he wouldn't be mad at you for long

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

Our bird boy here is pretty much neutral when it comes to being scared

Like, he can be quite unfazed by many things, so it's no surprise if you or any other SCPs tried to jump on him

So as part of an experiment, you and your friends had decided that you would try to play dead and see if 049 would be terrified

Well, 049 was somewhat concerned and when you carried on playing dead, he became scared since you weren't so conscious, or so he thought

Since you played dead extremely well for such a young child, he tried to see if he could fix you

And before he could do anything, you jumped up at him like Bonnie from FNAF

Yes, he looked like he jumped out of his skin and was so stunned that he just sat in the corner with his head down for an hour

You all had to check up on him and he said he was 'fine'

He wasn't

049 gave you a lecture about playing dead like that unless there's a dangerous SCP

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

Now, since 035 is a mask and is very much a master manipulator and an award-winning actor/actress, you would most likely be able to take on those traits from him

When you were younger, you were eager to learn from 035, who you see as not only your best friend but also an idol, so he taught you everything he could

As you got older, you've gotten better at manipulation and acting, so much so that even 035 couldn't tell if you were just being you from time to time

So one day, you've decided to prank your dad because you were hella bored (like you always are :((( cuz yall never be productive and just sit on your flat bum all day and watch YouTube, Netflix or play games then sleep)

You basically produced a fake body of yourself and wrapped it in a black bag and sent it to 035's cell

Then, you've got one of your researcher buddies to write a note of your passing and that you do love him very much

035 did receive the message and made sure that there was a dead body in the package

He was pretty much convinced that it was you since you were able to disguise the fake body like bone and flesh

Which of course scared him to death because he was about to attack everyone on site

Luckily you got there on time to stop him which freaked him out and yes, you've gotten a lecture about being such a prankster (You got grounded for life but that didn't stop a rebellious child like you)

At least everyone at the facility has gotten a laugh about it for the next 3 months

SCP 105 (Iris)

Pranking Iris wouldn't be hard, but that doesn't mean she's fazed, but not in a sense like 049 who wouldn't get a good scare from some SCPs which could do him harm

Iris is very much a self-aware and open-minded individual who has common sense (unlike you, who don't even move out of your bed or even use your non-existent brain cells)

She's very much like every other person you'll meet on the streets who wouldn't just believe the first thing that she hears since she is very much a rational person

So, if you want to devise a plan to scare her, it'll have to blend in with everything or be quiet out there with realistic effects

You'll have to use your head to think of a good prank to scare her, which you did since you've inherited her intelligence (that's a lie because you don't have any intelligence left in you)

As her child, you have decided to prank her by making her a fake copy of her camera but instead of her being able to control objects within the photo, she would end up destroying it

You gave it to her as a gift and she accepted it with suspicion since you don't normally get her anything and encouraged her to try it (you're such an ungrateful child)

Cain, Dr Glass, Dr Kondraki and a couple of others wanted to see as well, so they stayed and watch

Much to everyone's horror, the illusion camera did exactly how you designed it to and Iris was furious and saddened

Later on, you told her about the prank since you feel bad and she was extremely mad

So instead of grounding or lecturing you, she decided to have revenge

SCP 106 (Old Man)

Now, scaring this old man would be rather interesting because he doesn't seem too fazed by the other, more dangerous and unpredictable, SCPs

But, you can still scare him to a certain degree

I mean, he is an old man after all, so scaring him would be fun

As long as you don't give him a heart attack then it's fine I guess (cuz yall be evil for scaring such an old man)

So, you have decided to scare 106 by giving off little bits of harmless pranks at first so 106 would let his guard down for a moment

Like, giving him a box full of spiders (he's quite disgusted by them just like how he sees your face every time) and popping an air-filled bag (Don't lie, you've all done it and it's hella fun)

Later on, you would gradually move to play with the more dangerous things, such as getting him to look at a picture of 096's face (Probs ugly like yo-)

As time moved on, 106 seemed to be relaxed and expected you to bring him random things and soon realised that there was something off

You didn't show up to him for almost a week and he was ready to get his dad mode on

Luckily, some of the guards caught you with Abel and got 106 involved since they were afraid of causing a massive breach

106 panicked and picked you up, giving you a lecture on how you shouldn't be with other SCPs like Abel

You managed to tell him that you've befriended Abel and he was stunned and gave him the dad glare (you know the one where dads would give to warn others to not hurt their kids right?)

And because it's Abel, he would even make sure to be with you whenever you were with him which made it difficult for you to play with Abel because he might steal you away (Yes I'm looking at you right now kiddo, don't play with Abel)

So in conclusion, if the prank involves you being in a dangerous position, he wouldn't necessarily be scared but would start to panic about your safety

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

I think 096 would be similar to 106 in a sense but less logical and unfazed

It's more like he would be pretty panicky every time you weren't there with him and his anxiety would act up (like you every time you're preparing for your exams where you didn't even revise)

Like if you were with Safe class SCPs, he would be more relaxed than you being with a Euclid class, but it kinda depends on who it is

If it was Cain then it would be fine, but if you were to be with 173, he would be quite wary at first and would tell you to try and avoid being with that peanut

So if you wanted to scare him, it wouldn't be too hard

All you had to do was to be with another Keter class SCPs and play with them

He would be extremely cautious and terrified if you were with one and knowing this, you've decided that playing with 682 instead of playing with Walter the rabbit (SCP 524 | He's my other pet), you've decided to go up and pet 682

When 096 got a hold on the commission on you being with that lizard, he ran out of his cell, causing a huge containment breach on the way like he's bulletproof, and went yeehaw with 682

All you did was sit there in confusion as they entertained you with some pole dancing

Basically, if you scare 096, he would go from anxious to paranoid to berserk then to we're all going down to hell and back again

Dr Jack bright

This mf right here is unpredictable af

Like in his own body, he would remain unfazed and would even go as far as pranking you back

I mean he still would act all fun and games but since he can possess multiple bodies, the outcome of him being scared would vary which would surprise him too since he wouldn't know

Unless he decided to possess someone he knows well, but he knows better than to do that

Dr Bright would most notably be scared, like everybody else on the list, if you were to put yourself in immediate danger, but since you were just as crazy as your dad, he would most likely go along with it until you deliver your prank

Like, you could be juggling knives while standing on top of 682's head while singing 'Painted Smile' by Madam Macabre (If you haven't heard it, you should, it's amazing)

Also, he would sometimes find you having your back faced towards peanut and still be fine after having your neck being snapped (Yall be like surprise mf)

Anyways, one time Jack had made a promise to you to meet you at a certain place and he was late

So you stormed into his office (like the entitled little nugget you are) and went 'tick-tock mf' to your dad

Well it worked and you showed him your trick with the Keter classes

By causing a containment breach and somehow you managed to bribe the Keter classes to perform with you

Let's just say that just because you've inherited his craziness doesn't mean that you could go as far as doing this prank

Bright was about to drop dead from a heart attack and he banned you from doing such things in the future

Dr Simon Glass

With Simon Glass, you could give him a fright relatively easily

Just because he's a psychologist and can read people rather well, he still would be terrified and paranoid about whatever you were planning on doing

Even if he told you not to

Like that time when you were told to not make toast because you can't cook and you almost burnt the whole facility and Glass stood there and said "I told you so" (he did ask for toast, as in toasted bread, not toasted humans)

Anyways, being the child of Simon Glass meant that you would learn a lot about the human mind and behaviour

He would teach you everything you were curious about and would sometimes ask Diogenes, Light, Kondraki, Cain and Iris to help teach you the things he wouldn't have much knowledge on

And sometimes Clef and Bright would appear and spoil you (not that Glass doesn't, he's just busy and trying to be the best dad he could by being anxious about you being alone in the facility with so many dangerous SCPs)

So this often meant that you, Bright and Clef would pull pranks on each other, usually on Kondraki and Iris

Except for this time, you've decided to pull a prank on your dad, Dr Glass

You've handed him over a realistic model of SCP 058 and he freaked out and called the MTFs

They've checked the model and realised that it was all fake and poor Simon had a heart attack from you

Simon was about to yeet that spider looking thing but it was able to move so he planned to carry you and yeet you both out

He did give you a lecture on doing that stunt and you did shed a few crocodile tears

And yes, Glass gave in and comforted you

He then went to grab Clef and Bright's ears and lectured them about helping you make the prank

Dr Alto Clef

I feel like Clef would be similar to Bright but without the whole process of changing bodies because of some curse

Like Clef wouldn't be all that scared since he's dealt with SCPsbefore and dies an extremely good job at it

So for Clef to be scarred for life, it'll either be an extremely dangerous SCP, he's drunk and/or high, he must care about you a lot and you must've been out of your mind to do something seriously stupid or you're evil enough to piss off a Simon Glass (Or all of the above if you're evil enough)

You would most likely want to take the easier and quicker route out of all the ones mentioned on the list which is to put yourself in an immediate danger

So you had asked Dr Bright for some help and so he did

Moments later, midway through preparing your prank, Clef came to Bright asking if he saw you and he did

However, they heard a familiar scream from down the hallway and they both rushed to your aid and soon realised that it's you

You were about to get eaten by 939 and they had to signal for the MTFs to help (Because you mfs didn't ask me for permission when you wanted to pet 939 D:<)

Clef gave you a big lecture and comforted you after he cooled down

Bright on the other hand wasn't so lucky as Clef wanted to murder him (But in his defence, you didn't tell Bright how dangerous the prank was cuz yall are as stubborn as a rock)

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Kondraki would be pretty much average when it comes to being scared but with a little more logical since he works with the Foundation

He's that type of dad who would let you go to sleepovers every now and again as long as they weren't of the opposite gender (Unless yall are Bi, Gay, Lesbian, Pan, Alien, Basketball etc then he's screwed)

We support BLM and LGBTQ+ in this community and anyone who says otherwise must leave now

Heck, even our friends here, especially Kondraki, Glass, Bright, 999, Cain, Iris and Josie (SCP 529, my new pet) supports them

Anyways, back to the main plot

Depending on what age you're at and whether you were planning to prank him with the Foundation staff or SCPs will lead to a different outcome

Like if you told him you were dating someone he would've died right there and then

No dating until you're 50

Anyhow, you've decided that it'll be funny to scare your dad with Clef and Bright by getting his Bootyflies to shapeshift into various Keter class SCPs and acting like it

And yes, you somehow managed to persuade the Bootiflies to do just that

And no, Kondraki didn't know about this even though he found it odd that his bootiflies didn't obey him that day

You got Kondraki to sit down in a room with Clef while you and Bright was setting up everything

The bootyflies shifted into the Scarlet King and boy sis Kondraki called the MTFs and was boutta shoot him

Everyone in the room had to get him to stop and that it was just a prank (And by everyone I mean just you, Bright and Clef)

Kondraki did manage to stop and was boutta drag you out for a big girl/boy lecture

Well, he did but not before kicked Bright and Clef in their privates first

Needless to say, nobody wanted to prank Kondraki again (Shush, no you don't, yes I'm looking at you from behind the screen and I know that you'll do it again)

[swbumblebee]

What if Qui-Gon Jinn was not particularly special in his post-mortem abilities?

AKA “Old Ben” and his many Force parents.

They had all watched, their collective Force aura swamped in sadness, grief and longing, as Qui-Gon finally introduced himself to Obi-Wan.

They’d never call him ‘Old Ben’. The fact that he was only 40 years old notwithstanding, this was the boy they’d raised, grown up with, idolised. They remembered him toddling about the gardens, fascinated by the brightly coloured flowers; Getting shy around pretty people and developing awkward crushes. They remembered him standing alone at the head of an army, quietly confident and immeasurably capable. They had vivid memories of him carrying them back to the creche, so steady and strong; of his measured wisdom, and the confidence that Obi-Wan Kenobi would always triumph.

They remembered the mullet.

Nobody named “Old Ben” ever had a mullet.

The man they now, as they always had really, looked to for a light when everything else went dark.

They didn’t catch the murmured words. They were Jedi after all, (even if they were now technically one big Jedi rather than a temple full of Jedi) and eavesdropping was rude. Nobody listened to the sulky mutterings of the presence that was Quinlan Vos.

Their boy was nodding, sitting quietly on the floor whilst he finally, finally after weeks of careful and gentle persuasion, of them all keeping a tight rein on the order’s maverick (“Do not, we repeat do not, come out of the water tank. You’ll give him a cardiac arrest or something”) believed in the presence he saw before him.

They watched once more, pleased, as their missing piece allowed himself to be bullied to his feet, and guided over to the pile of blankets he called a bed.

They could feel Qui-Gon’s bitter relief as he perched next to his former student, his longing to pull the blankets up around his boy and smooth back his hair.

But words were all they had.

Still, as Obi-Wan Kenobi had shown the Galaxy; you could do a lot with words.

---

They’d argued (as much as an incorporeal fusion of spirits could argue) at length over who got to go next.

“I knew him longest, he’ll trust me!”

“He needs someone calm, measured. I will go”

“No offence Master Plo but you’ll make him cry. He needs cheering up, I’ll go!”

“Vos so help me Force-“

“I was the Master of the Order, I should do it”

“Master, we’re dead. I’m not sure seniority applies.”

In the end it was narrowed down to two options; Bant Erin, Obi-Wan’s oldest friend. Sweet natured and kind, she would be the perfect choice.

And Mace Windu.

It turns out seniority does still apply beyond the grave.

---

A small part of Obi-Wan’s subconscious was telling him that it was starting to get a bit awkward.

The transparent blue form of Mace Windu was looking down at him, the welcoming smile quickly turning into a grimace.

“…Obi-Wan?”

No. no no no this was not happening. He didn’t have time to go round the bend he had a child to protect!

He wasn’t sure if it was reasonable to measure sanity on the volume of dead loved ones he was hallucinating, but somehow one seemed saner than two.

Though it turns out he’s insane, and so not a good barometer of these things.

He knew his stare was starting to get very unnerving as his hysterical inner-ramblings reached a fever pitch.

“…Obi-Wan, are you alright?” Imaginary Mace Windu asked, concern and a tiny bit of nervousness showing on his face.

“I’m fine, how are you?” Obi-Wan asked, remembering a solid piece of advice from his formative years; Always fall back upon good manners when in unfamiliar territory Padawan mine.

Well, this was about as unfamiliar as it got.

Imaginary Mace looked at him, utterly baffled for a moment.

“Well…I’m dead, I suppose, is how I am” he answered awkwardly.

“Right. Obviously.” Obi-Wan nodded politely. “My condolences”

There was another awkward silence.

Imaginary Mace tilted his head for a moment, listening for something.

“Well…here I am” he said, spreading his arms a little.

“…yes.”

The other Jedi frowned at Obi-Wan’s strained reply and his act of scrubbing his hands down his face as if to wipe away the image in front of him.

“Qui-Gon didn’t…didn’t mention we were coming?” he asked tentatively.

Obi-Wan shook his head, wordlessly.

The frown on Imaginary Mace turned into a complete scowl as the pieces seemed to fall into place.

“JINN” he bellowed, and Obi-Wan felt it echo in the Force like nothing before.

“He can’t hear you, he’s with Yoda”

Another figure popped into existence next to Mace, and Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes once again as Depa Billaba bowed to him.

“Obi-Wan” she greeted with a grin.

“…hi” He took a deep breath, mentally cursing his absent-minded Master.

“Are you alright?” Depa didn’t stop for a reply as she looked down with him and gestured at him, gently instructing him to get up from the floor. “Oh look you’ve scraped your knee there! Master I knew you’d startle him!” she scolded her former Master.

It felt like he was having an out of body experience as Depa ushered him into a chair (the only chair in the hut), Mace looking on anxiously.

“There we go” Depa soothed as she got him settled “I wish we could make you some tea my friend.” She said disappointedly.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat.

“You ah…you can’t?” he asked, something permeating the haze. Of this whole situation, that seemed by far the most unfair thing.

Mace smiled encouragingly, seemingly happier to be on more binary ground.

“I’m afraid not, we are beings of the Force, like your Master.” He explained, before scowling again. “Who, I would kill if he weren’t already dead,” he growled.

“I’m so sorry Obi-Wan” Depa said, dismayed “We all wanted to come and be with you, but we though Qui-Gon might be best to start with, so as not to overwhelm you”

“Sorry about that” Mace said apologetically.

They sat in silence a moment, Depa and Mace watching him process.

For the first time ever, Obi-Wan had exactly zero thoughts in his head.

He was starting to feel the pressure.

“All?” he tried.

Depa and Mace looked at each other.

“You ah…you said ‘all wanted to come’” he clarified.

Depa nodded happily.

“Yes yes, we’re all there Obi-Wan” she smiled at him

“Any Jedi slain by a Sith, or the machinations of the Sith, is there” Mace explained.

Obi-Wan was having the slightest bit of trouble taking deep breaths. Neither of his companions seemed to have noticed.

“Where?” he asked, only mildly aware that his voice was getting just a little pitchy.

“In the Force, we’re all one in the Force” Depa started again, and then paused a little lost for words.

“We’re all together and we kind of…share our presences” Mace picked up, with difficulty “Everyone who was killed by Palpatine’s evil, everyone from us right down to the littlest initiate, we share one consciousness in the Force.”

Obi-Wan was none the wiser.

Mace waved a hand frustratedly.

“Sorry, Plo explains it better”

“Plo?” Obi-Wan loved Master Plo. He loved all of them. And they were gone.

“Hello Obi-Wan”

“Well, if Plo and Depa get to see him I’m bloody well here too!”

“Hi Obi”

“Obes!”

He could only watch, speechless, as the faces of old friends, comrades, mentors and carers crammed into his hut, all looking at him with unadulterated, unfiltered pleasure and love was the last thing he saw before his scrambled brain decided it’d had enough, and he knew nothing but darkness.

---

It turns out, living with the forms of all your dead teachers, carers and friends was actually rather trying, after a while.

“Oh thank goodness you’re not still drinking that awful caff”

“I like caff – Master Plo please don’t try and lift that”

“Relax Obi dear, we’re incorporeal”

“Can still see things though”

“Vos get out of my fresher!”

“What does this do?”

“Never you mind. No don’t – Ugh. Why don’t some nice, well behaved padawans ever come to see me?”

“They’re not allowed, only those who knew you personally can visit. We thought it might get a bit stressful otherwise.”

“…I can’t imagine.”

Aside from having to adapt his busy routine to accommodate half a dozen fidgety and curious…ghosts (?) poking around his small hut at any one time, another unexpected addition to his (attempted) isolation on Tatooine was the nagging. And Force could they nag! The concentrated worry of many, many, beings with nowhere else to direct their extra energies was powerful.

“Obi-Wan you haven’t drank enough today. Go and check the vaporators”

“Padawan aren’t you going to eat?”

“Listen, that plie of cloth can’t be good for your spine”

“Force! Get some sun block Kenobi or you’re going to look like an old shoe in three months”

“No right, I saw a sunhat he can buy at the market”

It was…weird. He’d always been very self-sufficient, not to mention being the centre of everyone’s attention was difficult, to say the least. But as the months went on, he found himself transitioning from awkward acquiescence to see-sawing between mulishness and good-natured obedience. The stubbornness rising usually when the despair did. But those days were few and far between.

And now, when they did occur (for one can only avoid one’s demons for so long) and he felt like he was drowning in the weight of existence, he could rely on his friends for encouragement, care, and the motivation to carry on.

“If you join us before your time I will KILL you Obi-Wan Kenobi. Now kriffing well eat something!”

---

Of course, when their brother, friend, son, comrade, teacher and last hope did at last join them, there was no nagging or disappointment (or violence). The ultimate Jedi was back in the fold and they were once again complete.

[foilfreak]

4 Lords Raise Rose AU Ideas

Not a single person asked for this, but that other post where I talk about the 4 lords adopting Rose but still technically being terrible people got way more popular than I expected it to, so, with about 6 shots of tequila in my system and a terrible urge to spit my thoughts out for all the internet to see and judge, I’ve decided to make a follow up post. Here’s how I think the 4 lords would take care of Rose in the event they rebelled against Mother Miranda and decided to raise Rose as their own instead, but like under the cut after a little bit cuz i accidentally went way too fucking hard with this and I don’t want ppl to get mad at me for making them scroll for an hour to get past this post:

First and foremost, I think they’d do it in stages, and what I mean by this is that Rose would essentially be given to a specific Lord for some period of her life, like a couple years, and then when she was deemed old or strong or annoying enough, she’d be moved to a different lord for some period of time and so on and so forth. They would do this because a) they all live in different areas and have shit to do so it’s easier to have Rose live with one lord at a time and then the other lords can just go visit her there from time to time, rather than try to work out a weekly custody schedule which we all know Alcina and Karl would NEVER be able to agree on so let’s not even bother, and b) because each lord would have either some skill or set of knowledge that would make them the best for caring for Rose at that specific point in her life. This way, all the lords have a (somewhat) equal chance to be a part of Rose’s life and teach her something while she’s with them. So with all that in mind now, let’s get down to who would have Rose and at what point in her life.

1. Starting off with infant Rose, I think she’d end up with the Dimitrescu’s for the first few years of her life, and the reason why I think this is because... well, Alcina IS already a mother to 3 girls, and while we don’t know a terrible amount about Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela’s “upbringing” under Alcina, we can gleam and theorize from her notes that, despite their fully grown bodies, the girls could very well have started out with the mental and physical capabilities of infants, and thus needed to be cared for and brought up in a similar manner as infants or children until they reached a certain point where they could officially be considered adults in mentality and ability, not just in physical appearance. So with this in mind, it’s entirely possible that Alcina could have at least some vague idea of how to care for an infant child through her experiences with the bug sisters; perhaps there’s some gaps in her knowledge, but if nothing else I imagine Alcina would be an infant Rose’s best shot at surviving infancy if only because the other 3 are so incompetent on how to care for a baby that Alcina looks like an expert in comparison. Not to mention that, of the possible locations for an infant to be raised, I do genuinely think that castle Dimitrescu would be the safest place for Rose to be kept during this vulnerable part of her life. Not only that but if Alcina has actually come to care for Rose as though she were one of her own daughters, then she would absolutely spoil Rose rotten with all the nicest clothes and fanciest toys, things that a small infant wouldnt be able to appreciate but would show that she’s loved and cared for nonetheless, and don’t even get me started on the bug sisters, I could see them fawning over Rose for hours on end, playing with her, singing to her, telling her stories of all the man-things they’ve gotten to play with today, and so much more. Overall, Rose would just be the most spoiled and pampered little baby with the Dimitrescus and there’s no changing my mind about this. The only thing I’m struggling to wrap my head around is how they’d feed her, since I doubt a small infant would take very well to blood wine and human flesh. I suppose it wouldn’t be terribly outrageous for them to hire a wet nurse/nanny to care for Rose during the day while the other Dimitrescus go about their daily duties, and when Rose is finally old enough to be introduced to solid food (I.e. fried human flesh cubes) they could do what they always do and turn the nurse into wine too, I guess. It’s not a solid idea but it’s more plausible than anything else I thought of so it’ll work!

2. After spending about 3 years with the Dimitrescus, Rose would then be moved to the Beneviento house. Now, If u don’t know anything about 3 year olds, then you’re probably ignorant to the fact that they are some of the craftiest, sneakiest, and most coniving groups of people to exist on this planet. 3 year olds are masters at getting into and touching just about anything and everything u don’t want them to touch, and worst of all, u won’t realize what they’re doing until they’ve already done it and left a huge mess behind, so while the Dimitrescus love and adore Rose dearly, they know it’s sadly time to hand her over when they find her sitting on top of a pile of dead bodies playing with a metal scythe in the dungeons. Once Rose is dropped off at the Beneviento house, I imagine Donna is her usual stoic self the first few weeks Rose is with her. She’s not cold or distant necessarily, in fact she’s quite happy that it’s finally her turn with precious baby Rose, but Donna isn’t exactly known for being outwardly expressive herself (and even Angie isn’t being quite as forward as she normally is), so things are quiet and peaceful for the first little while that Rose is under her care. It’s not until Rose takes an interest in her doll Angie, and more importantly the things that Donna can do with Angie, that things really start getting fun. By the end of Rose’s first month in the Beneviento house she and Donna are the best of friends and often spend their days either playing dress up and make pretend with Donna’s extensive doll collection, or playing elaborate games of cat and mouse, where Donna will set up lots of puzzles throughout the house for Rose to find and solve (I.e. rose has to match her dress to the doll with the same one as her to find a map telling her which kitchen cabinet Donna hid the chocolate in, or something like that), but be careful little Rose, Angie has been trying to get her hands on that chocolate all day, and if u take too long, she’ll find the map first and eat all the chocolate without saving you a single piece. Just silly little puzzles with enough at stake to engage the mind of a curious 3 year old, but never enough to put rose in any actual danger. Donna is nothing if not a watchful caretaker, so she makes sure she has sight of Rose at all times, occasionally giving her a hint if she’s struggling, and perhaps occasionally making things harder if that day’s puzzle is proving too easy for her. Overall, Rose’s time with Donna, while not as grand and luxurious as the Dimitrescus, was still a fun and enriching experience for the young girl, and there’s nobody in this world who thinks that Donna’s scar is cool more than Rose.

3. After another 3 years with Donna, Rose is now 6 years old and officially far too good at puzzle solving for Donna to keep up with. No matter what she tries or how hard she makes it, Rose just keeps blazing through the puzzles at an almost alarming rate, making it clear that Rose is desperately in need of not only a change in scenery, but also a change in education, and this is where Salvatore finally comes in. After leaving the Beneviento house, I think the next logical place for Rose to stay would be with Salvatore, who, with lore hinting at him perhaps being a scholarly man of some kind, would basically act as her elementary school teacher throughout the duration of her stay. Now, to be fair, Rose could have gone to Heisenburg’s factory, but Heisenberg outright refused to take her and the other 3 lords decide that the factory is simply too dangerous for Rose rn, who thus far hasn’t shown any signs of being anything other than a normal human girl with no noticeable abilities (save for a smart mouth and a terrifying habit of popping up when least expected, a habit she mostly uses to mess with Heisenberg, much to his disdain and Lady Dimitrescu’s delight), so it is to the mutant fish man’s unimaginable delight that he is unanimously voted Roses next caretaker, and the one responsible for her basic education. Despite his initial excitement however, when Rose is finally dropped off at the windmills by Donna, Salvatore realizes that he’s not 100% sure what to do with Rose now that he has her. He’d like to get started on her education right away but at the same time he’s so fearful of Rose hating him because of his disgusting appearance that he kind of just... avoids her entirely at first. He’s never far away from the little girl and is always ready to jump to her rescue should she need it, but other than that Salvatore seldom allows himself to be seen for the first month that Rose is with him, the only sign of him still being around being the platefuls of food that mysteriously appear in Rose’s room 3 times a day, as well as the occasional shiny trinket Salvatore found and thought Rose would like. At first, rose doesn’t seem to mind being left entirely to her own devices, but after every stone, log, and rotting fish corpse within 5 miles of the lake has been turned over and thoroughly examined, Rose decides she’s had quite enough of her Uncle Sal ignoring her, prompting the headstrong little girl to go looking for him herself. She finds Salvatore hiding underneath a patch of floating algae not far away from where she was playing and all but demands that the mutant man come out of the water and give her something to do or she’d tell Mother on him. Salvatore, shocked by the small child’s fearlessly blunt request, hesitates, not wanting to frighten Rose, but ultimately relents, crawling out of the water and timidly suggesting that he teach her how to read and write. Rose quickly agrees, seeming totally unbothered by Salvatore’s grotesque appearance, and the two quickly move to the schoolroom that had been set up specifically for Rose, where Salvatore spends hours upon hours a day teaching Rose everything he knows, filling the little girl’s head up first with the basics, letters and words, then numbers and simple equations, followed later by historical dates and time periods, algebraic formulas, and classic literature analysis, then biology, chemistry, physics, astrology, calculus, ecology, and so much more. Basically, anything there is to know, Salvatore knows at least something about it and he’ll make sure that Rose knows about it too. In the 3 years Rose spends with Salvatore she goes from already sharp as a whip, to being smarter than most adults even, and Salvatore takes immense pride in how intelligent and knowledgable Rose becomes thanks to his surprisingly effective teaching style. Overall, as a caretaker, Salvatore is pretty weird and doubts himself a lot, but Rose thinks he’s funny and loves learning from him so they get along very well and she loves him very dearly! He probs teaches her to swim and fish too.

4. So another 3 years come and go with incredible speed, and its with great sadness on Salvatore’s part that Heisenberg finally comes banging on the fish man’s door, all but demanding that he now be given his turn with Rose. Now, personally, I can see several different arguments being raised by the other 3 lords over why its a terrible idea to let a 9 year old anywhere near Heisenberg, much less be given into his care fully. After about 9 years of seeing his siblings paling around with the constantly growing child, and looking like theyre having the time of their lives all the while, however, Karl decides that perhaps there’s more to this little girl than he originally thought, and, with his interest now piqued (or at the very least looking forward to pissing the other 3 off for entertainment purposes), that its only fair that he be given a turn with her now too, seeing as how he’s the only one who hasn’t been given the chance to be her caretaker yet. This naturally does NOT go over well with the other 3 lords. Alcina all but threatens to kill Karl should he step so much as within 10 ft of Rose, while Donna pipes up and demands to know what his sudden interest in Rose is. Even Salvatore, who is quick to flinch away from direct conflict, goes as far as to harshly point out the plethora of times Karl had outright denied their previous attempts to get him to engage with Rose, so why on earth would they hand her over to him now when he’s previously shown to have absolutely no interest in her? After a long spout of yelling between the 4 siblings, an agreement is reached, wherein Rose herself will be given the chance to decide whether she wants to go with Heisenberg, or whether she’ll return to one of the other 3 lords for the time being. It is to Alcina, Donna, and Salvatore’s absolute horror however, that Rose enthusiastically agrees to go with her Uncle Karl to live in his factory, and with the deal already set, the other lords can do nothing to stop her from going. The trip to drop off Rose at heisenberg’s factory is a long and arduous one, especially for Salvatore, who sobs the whole way there about Rose forgetting about him despite the young girl’s insistence that she’d visit. The first thing Karl does after officially having Rose handed over to him, is give her an extensive list of all the places in the factory in which she is under no circumstances permitted to enter without his permission (which basically only leaves the control room and the old storage closet that acts as her bedroom as viable places for Rose to go and explore). The second thing Karl does is dump her in her new storage closet bedroom and then hightail it for his workshop to work on whatever sick and twisted amalgamation he’s got cooked up this time around. At first, Rose isn’t terribly bothered by this, since she’s used to having something of an “adjustment period” when she’s with a new caretaker, but unfortunately for her, this adjustment period lasts a hell of a lot longer than the others did, and by the time 3 months of almost no meaningful contact with Karl, Rose decides to take matters into her own hands and ascends into the depths of the factory despite the express orders not to do so. Now, going back to the idea that the 4 lords are still pretty terrible people, I doubt Rose has been kept ignorant to the less savory aspects of her caretaker’s lives, and tbh she probably doesn’t think anything of the fact that the Dimitrescus makes wine out of the blood of virgin women or that Salvatore still does cadou experiments (and had her help on occasion), but I imagine even Rose would find the projects Karl works on to be at least a little

4, cont. gruesome and horrifying in nature, especially since Heisenberg is the one she knows the least about. However, instead of turning Rose away from Heisenberg, these terrifying metal creatures she sees locked up only spark her already insatiable curiosity, and by the time she finally tracks Karl down, Rose is all but trembling to learn more about this horrifyingly fascinating metal world. Unfortunately, Karl is not nearly as happy to see Rose as Rose is to see him, and the engineer all but grabs Rose by the scruff of her neck and drags her back up to the control room, yelling and screaming at her all the while about how she was explicitly instructed not to enter these parts of the factory without his permission. Needless to say that Rose does not enjoy this treatment and immediately lashes out, half out of anger and half out of confusion as to why Karl was treating her like this. He was the one who wanted her here in the first place, so why the hell was he just ignoring her now? It didn’t make any sense and it was starting to piss Rose off, so naturally the only thing left for her to do in order to solve this complicated situation would be to continue to disobey Karl until he either gave up and sent her back to one of the other lords, or finally payed some damn attention to her for once. So that’s exactly what she did. Every single day Rose left her room (which Karl kept telling himself he needed to put a lock on, but never did cuz he’s an idiot) and descended down into the depths of the factory looking for something ogle at or tinker with, and every single day Karl would track her down wherever she’d managed to get to and throw her back upstairs threatening to feed her to the lycans if she did it again. This incredibly frustrating cycle continued on for the better part of the next month or so, finally coming to a head when Rose managed to wander into the part of the factory where the... less than successful experiments got put whenever Karl doesn’t have any further use for them but is feeling too lazy to kill them off himself. Long story short, Rose runs into a Sturm that chases her around the factory, causing all manner of mayhem and destruction, and would have torn her to ribbons had it not been for Karl, who jumped in at the last second and was able to fend the damn thing off long enough for Rose to get the ever living fuck out and back up to the control room where it’s safe. There’s a lot of loud noises and explosions coming from deep within the factory that last for what feels like an eternity, but Rose doesn’t dare venture out again until everything has gone eerily quiet and a deep sense of worry has settled in the pit of her stomach over what had become of her latest caretaker. Turns out the Sturm had recognized its creator and, after watching its initial prey escape because of said creator, quickly decided that it fucking hated Karl with every fiber of its being and wanted him dead if it was the last thing it’s propellers did. Now, we all know that Karl is a big strong boy who’s more than capable of handling his own creations and taking down strong enemies, but the Sturm is a creation that even he struggles to control on good days and today is decidedly not a good day so not only does Karl not have the slightest bit of control over the death machine trying to kill him, but its also a lot stronger than Karl initially thought and apparently not picky about the method which causes Karl’s death, which is evidenced by the nearly dead Sturm ramming itself into a power generator as a final act of defiance and nearly blowing up the whole factory and everybody inside. Heisenberg is able to contain the explosion somehow but not without considerable damage to himself first. Rose is, naturally, quite horrified to find Karl passed out in the elevator that had taken him up from the lower levels of the factory where the explosion was, skin burnt nearly to a crisp in certain areas and blood pooling from just about every part of him, and immediately heads over to try and help her injured caretaker.

4, cont. again cuz I physically can’t stop myself. Now, I imagine that any normal 9 year old probably wouldnt be able to handle this sort of situation in any meaningful way, but i think we can all agree that Rose is the furthest thing from normal (especially considering who raised her) and has probably seen enough blood and gore to not be terribly freaked out by it, but this is where things get a little speculative because we don’t know what Rose’s powers are exactly but we do know from the final cutscene that she does have them, perhaps even a plethora of abilities, and I like to think that some of those powers are related to Ethan’s superhuman healing capabilities, but unlike Ethan however, who from what we’ve seen could only heal himself, Rose can actually heal other people (tho this isn’t something she’s aware of at this point in time). The second the elevator door opens to reveal, what looks to be, a half-dead Karl slumped over in the corner, Rose panics and runs to him, doing everything she can think of save for maybe grabbing him by the collar or slapping him across the face, to try and get Karl to wake up, except nothing works, he wont wake up no matter how hard Rose tries and i imagine this must be incredibly distressing for Rose who never intended for something like this to happen or for her caretaker to die because he had to protect her even tho he told her not to go down there because its dangerous and anything down there WOULD kill her if given the opportunity. Anyways Rose is now full on sobbing on top of Karl like only a 9 year old who just discovered that her actions have consequences can, but unbeknownst to her (and technically Karl cuz he’s a little busy bleeding out all over the floor) Karl’s wounds are slowly beginning to close, the burns on his face and hands shift from a bright red to a dark brown before crusting over and flaking off, and even his breathing, which had been labored and inconsistent at first, began to level out slightly. Karl woke up not long after that and was surprised to find that a) he was still alive, which was cool, b) he was injured but not in indescribable pain, also cool, and c) there was a literal sobbing child all but sitting on top of him, which is definitely not something Karl was expecting but he supposed he’s been met with worse things upon waking up after almost dying so why question it. After taking a moment to gather their bearings, the two return to the safer parts of the factory to rest and recover and for the most part this little incident of their’s goes largely unspoken, with Rose not exactly in the mood to talk about how her disobedience nearly got herself and Karl killed, and Karl being too fucking tired to go after her about it, especially since she seems to have learned her lesson. The only downside to this whole thing is that now Karl has a busted up fuckin leg thats gonna take an eternity to heal even for him, and with so much work to still do he’s more or less forced to drag Rose around the factory and use her like the annoying assistant he never wanted (except he did want her, thats how this whole fucking mess started, you lug), except that Rose, who is more than used to playing lab assistant from her time with Salvatore, quickly proves to be a rather capable and handy person to have around, if only because she knows the difference between a philips and a flathead screwdriver even better than he does. An amicable, if still slightly awkward peace settles over Heisenberg’s factory once Karl starts actively engaging with Rose and giving her something to do on a daily basis, even if its just standing around watching him work and occasionally having her questions about what he’s doing answered. It doesn’t take very long after that for Karl to begin realizing that perhaps throwing a huge tantrum to get Rose to come here only to ditch her upstairs by herself for 3 months might not have been the smartest (or most considerate) thing he’s ever done, and even goes as far as to (kinda) apologize to Rose for being such a dick to her since she arrived.

4, last one i swear. Rose forgives him, though not before adding that she already knew he was an asshole from Alcina, which earns her a halfhearted swipe from Karl that Rose easily dodges with a childish giggle. From that point on their relationship improves astronomically as Karl finally gives in and teaches Rose about about engineering and everything else that goes into making the metal horrors that he’s known for. Karl is shocked at how quickly Rose picks up on the trade, getting to the point where Karl wonders if he should start giving Rose her own projects to work on, but quickly rolls his eyes and groans when he remember that Salvatore was the one responsible for her education up until this point, the mere thought of having to give compliments to that “moronic freak” for giving Rose such a good educational foundation makes him want to vomit despite how secretly impressed he is. Overall, Rose’s time with Heisenberg starts out shaky, very shaky even, but after a bit of disaster and some swallowing of the pride on Karl’s part, they end up growing quite close and have a nice fun Uncle and martass Neice dynamic. They make a good team and Karl does genuinely enjoy having a little assistant around to help him with his projects, even if Rose can sound a bit too much like Alcina on some days for his liking.

5. 3 more years come and go and now Rose is a strong and healthy 12 years old, perhaps riddled with a few more scars and smearings of ash and motor oil across her skin than when she first arrived but still strong and capable nonetheless. Going back to that first statement however, this of course means that it’s time for the other 3 lords to come banging on Karl’s door for a change, all but demanding that Rose be handed back over to them. Karl of course refuses, telling them all to fuck off and that Rose didn’t want a leave the factory, so upon realization that all 4 lords were gathered here with the intention of taking Rose back to live with them indefinitely, a fight immediately breaks out between the 4 siblings, as each one makes their case as to why Rose should be returned to them and not the other 3, which of course none of the 4 lords can come to an agreement about because they ALL want Rose to stay with them. So after another long and pointlessly arduous argument, Alcina finally breaks, proclaiming that they’d be here for all eternity of they didn’t make a decision now, and that, like the first time the 4 siblings argued over whether Rose should go with Heisenberg or return to one of the previous lords, Rose would be the one to decide which of her four caretakers she would return to. The agreement is made reluctantly, mostly on the part of Salvatore, Donna, and Heisenberg, but there was seemingly no other way for them to come to a decision, so it would unfortunately have to be up to Rose to decide which of her 4 caretakers she wants to stay with permanently. Rose is quickly brought before the 4 lords and explained the situation, before being given some time to herself to think and make her final decision. A tense and uneasy silence falls over the 4 lords as they wait for the little girl, who they had shown an uncharacteristic amount of mercy and time and devotion and love in the 12 years since Mother Miranda had brought her to the village with the intention of using her to revive an already lost and long-gone baby that she never would have gotten back no matter how hard she tried. Although they refused to admit it to one another, the lords all secretly knew that Rose had wormed her way into each of their cold, dead hearts, reviving an aspect of their humanity that they’d all thought had been lost ages ago. Rose came to the village bringing with her a wave of death and destruction, and yet throughout her childhood she has brought them nothing but light and life, illuminating their previously dark and desolate existences. The 4 lords loved their Rose very dearly and desperately wanted her to be happy, yet each of them possesses a dark and selfish desire to have Rose pick them over the other 3, to come and live with them forever and fill the hole deep inside them that they never knew needed filling. After a short while, Rose comes back out and stands before her 4 beloved caretakers, looking around nervously as she picks at her fingernails. The silence is thick and heavy as the 4 lords stare at the young girl, waiting with bated breaths for her to give her final verdict. Rose continues to say nothing as tears begin to flow from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks in thick streams as the girl begins to sob, dropping her head and clenching her dress. The 4 lords look between one another in confusion, unsure of what to do with this sudden burst of tears. Rose tearfully admits that she can’t and doesn’t want to choose which of the 4 lords she wants to live with permanently because she loves them all very much and wants to be able to see and live with all of them, like they’ve done thus far. Although the lords detest the idea of having to share Rose with anyone, they reluctantly come to an agreement for the girl’s sake, deciding that they would continue with the arrangement they’ve had thus far, only that Rose would switch between caretakers every 3 months instead of every 3 years, giving rose plenty of opportunities to see each of her caretakers just like she wanted. From then on, Rose continues to live her life

5, cont. growing up and learning more and more from each of her beloved caretakers. Although Rose would likely never know what a normal life looks like, living with 4 criminally insane monsters in the remote mountain village in Romania, it would be impossible to say that she wouldn’t have a happy life despite that. Perhaps its because the girl simply doesn’t know any better, so she doesn’t have the ability to see just how messed up her life and her 4 caretakers really are, but i imagine that Rose probably wouldn’t care very much to learn even if she had the opportunity. She’s a happy little girl living a strange but enjoyable life with the only family she’ll ever need. What more could she possibly ask for?

6. As for how Mother Miranda would play into this whole scenario I’ve just drunkenly spat out, im honestly not 100% sure. Ive seen some people suggesting that MM just kinda chills and lets the lords do what they want with Rose, but tbh I honestly don’t see that happening in this universe. MM would still have been just as crazy and driven to get Eva back as she was in canon, so i doubt she’d willingly standby and let her “false children” take away her one shot of getting her real child back simply because they didn’t want to hurt her, i just don’t personally see that happening. The two most likely scenarios i can come up with is that the Lords either banded together and look Miranda on together, their combined forces being enough to take her down and kill her, OR, Ethan is the one to take down MM like he did in canon but he passes out before he can get to rose, giving the lords (who he hadn’t ended up killing but just escaping from i guess) the opportunity to slide in, grab rose, and hightail it out of there, leaving Ethan’s body to be retrieved by Chris, who, due to not seeing or hearing Rose anywhere, believes that Rose must have been accidentally killed along with MM, which he later tells to Ethan and Mia. Regardless of how MM gets taken out of the picture (or if she’s given room to potentially come back later), the 4 lords retreat with Rose and begin the whole cycle I explained up above, but i did want to briefly address how I saw MM fitting into all of this since she is a vital part of the original story and the biggest obstacle to the lords having anything to do with Rose.

Anyways, that was so much longer than I intended it to be but I had so much fun with it just because it gave me the opportunity to spit some fun ideas and potential plot points out about this cool AU that I like and hope someone does SOMETHING with, please god someone do it, I’d do it myself but i have enough projects at the moment unfortunately. If you managed to make it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading all of that, I appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed at least some parts of this, and maybe even agree with some of the things I said. Feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments, I’d love to read them and hopefully if enough people like this maybe i will actually do something with it. Who knows? I certainly dont. Anyways thank you for reading all this, i hope you have a great day, and maybe ill see you around in another post. Bye!!! <3

[jayaury]

The Help

“You certainly do seem highly skilled, Miss um… I know I’m going to mispronounce this…”

“Gabina. Don’t worry! Everyone gets it wrong the first time. Goblin names are always super hard, huh?”

Chris Locken glanced over the paper at the green woman sitting across from his desk. She was small, but what she lacked in height, she made up with in curves. A fact that Chris had been uncomfortably aware of since her arrival at his door. Her green breasts swelled against the dress that seemed modest, and she surely must have thought it was with its drab grey colour. But what she seemed ignorant of was the fact the thing was about a size too small, negating the boring tone with the way it stretched across emerald tits and hips. Her long black hair hung to her shoulders and her eyes were bright with long, fluttering lashes.

She was, in essence, far too lovely to be a maid.

Chris cleared his throat. “Right, ah. Gabina. So, why is it that you want to work as a maid in my home?”

“I want a career,” she said.

Chris lowered the resume an inch more. “A… career?”

“Oh yes,” Gabina said, nodding quickly, which, he couldn’t fail to notice, made her tits jiggle in her ever so tight dress. “I mean, most goblin girls set out just looking to land a sexy, dumb husband. But I’m not like that at all! I want to move up in the world. I want to be a self-sufficient girl. Someone who can take care of herself. Who’s more than just a pair of glorious green tits for boys to stare at.”

Chris forced his eyes from said breasts and back to her smiling face. “And a… maid is your choice?”

Gabina sighed, resting a cheek in her palm. “Honestly? I don’t really have much of a choice. My mother was very old fashioned. She showed me how to be the perfect housewife for my future husband. So all my skills are about cooking, cleaning, and… ahem. Other services.”

Chris had a feeling he knew what said services were. Goblins did have a reputation, after all. Little green nymphos and eager bimbos, all out to snare a husband by means fair or foul. But looking across at the goblin trying her very hardest to break that mold was something to see, he had to admit.

He cleared his throat. “Well, Gabina. I…” He paused, then put the document aside. “Listen. I can sympathize. I don’t really need a maid, but every noble needs to have some servants.”

“Oh absolutely! And I promise I’ll serve you as well as anyone could ask.”

Chris hesitated still. He really didn’t want any servants. But what he’d said was true. He’d look poor before the other nobility if he had no one to answer the door. And he could sympathise with her plight. Aaaaand the house had been getting dusty…

He’d like to say it wasn’t the sight of her breasts stretching that drab grey that made the decision, but he’d also be lying. And he hated lies. “Alright,” he said, standing. “We’ll give it a few months trial, how about that?”

Gabina beamed, fairly bouncing from her seat in delight and taking his hand, shaking it frantically. “Oh you won’t regret this, master! I’ll be the picture of a good maid! You just wait and see!”

Chris cleared his throat. “Ah, yes. Right. Well, I suppose I’d best show you around the place. I’m sure you’ll get used to it soon.”

“Absolutely, sir,” Gabina said, giggling. “I’m sure I’ll feel right at home…”

---

Chris found Gabina a hard worker, dedicated, and willing to take initiative.

He also found her increasingly distracting.

It wasn’t anything she did, so much as what she was. For even with a maid uniform she’d bought herself, there was no denying her almost carnal charms. She just filled out anything she wore. Every movement seemed designed to entice and tease, her skirt riding up her ass whenever she bent down. Her blouse threatening to burst around her breasts with every act.

Chris found it increasingly difficult to do anything but watch her, which was absolutely improper, and also, absolutely impossible to avoid doing. Especially since there always seemed to be something to be cleaned wherever he was.

He was in the library at the moment, working through some documents about recent seasonal weather variances and what it might mean for his lands, when he noticed that Gabina had joined him. She was busy wiping down one of the side tables, but due to its height, she was forced to lean forward to properly clean it, hiking up her skirt and baring the shapely globes of her rear, her panties a thin strand between those firm, green orbs.

Chris swallowed thickly and wrenched his eyes back to the book before him.

“Master?”

He jumped at that word and glanced up quickly to find the goblin before his desk. “Ah, yes, Gabina? What is it?”

“You look tired, master. Are you alright?”

“Oh, yes. Yes. Fine. Just… a bit stiff.”

Her eyes brightened. “Oh!” she said, beaming happily. “I know something for that.”

“You do?” he said.

“Yes! My mother taught me it. It’s a way to massage away that stiffness in the back. Makes you nice and… loose.”

Chris blinked, wondering at the emphasis she’d put on that last word. “Well, ah…”

“Please, master,” she said, leaning forward on the desk, pushing her pretty face with its small nose and large, soulful eyes almost into his. “I hate to see you uncomfortable.”

Chris leaned back, but somehow couldn’t avoid those eyes. He tried to look anywhere else, but the immediate alternative was the pair of emerald breasts absolutely straining to be free of her top, framed by lacy white like two green candies waiting to be unwrapped.

That image did not help him relax. In fact, nothing about the situation was, but as his eyes found hers again, he could only stammer out, “Ah, well, if that… if you think so then… well, alright…”

The joy on her face when he said those words made his breath catch at her beauty. “Oh, thank you master! You won’t regret it. Now, let me just come around there and lend you a hand.”

“Well, I suppose…” he said, trailing off as she bounced about the desk. He heard the scrape of a stool as she dragged it up behind his chair, and suddenly wondered why she hadn’t been using it while cleaning earlier. Then he felt her climb up behind him, her warm breath grazing the hairs on the back of his neck, her tender hands resting on his shoulders.

“Just relax, my lord. Let me help you.”

Chris tried to relax, not easy with the giggly beauty behind him. But then he felt her hands on his shoulders. Felt them dig in, knead, and suddenly relaxing seemed much, much easier.

Chris sighed, sinking into the chair as Gabina worked his shoulders.

“Does master like that?”

“Mmm. Very much,” Chris said.

“I can’t tell you how happy that makes me, master. A goblin girl just loves to please. And I do so want to make a very good impression on you.”

“You’re doing wonderfully right now,” Chris said, smiling dimly, finding it easier to be candid with the green beauty when in her hands. Like some barrier between them had been pushed aside as soon as she touched him.

And not just with her hands.

“I’m so glad, master,” Gabina cooed, and Chris felt her lean forward, her firm breasts pressing against the back of his head, her scent, something lemony and sweet, tickling his nose with suggestions of delights untasted. “I so want you to approve of hiring me. Want to have me around, helping out about the house.”

“Mmmm. Yessss,” Chris hummed softly.

“You’re doing so well, master,” Gabina’s voice said as if from very far away. “You’re getting so wonderfully relaxed and… easy…”

“I… am,” Chris said slowly, almost moaning it.

“I know you are. You do so love being relaxed. Being massaged. Letting all your silly worries and thoughts just… slip away…”

“Yessss,” he moaned, melting further. As soft and gooey as dough in the hands of a master baker.

“Good boy, my lord…”

Chris shivered, tingling at that word. But not alarmed. Oh no. He was far too relaxed for that. Far too relaxed and happy and easy…

“Master?”

“Hm?”

“Do you like it when I massage you?”

“Oh yes….”

“Then, maybe I should do it more often? Maybe I should do it every night?”

“Every…”

“Night, yes. Maybe master would like it very much. I think you’ll be far more productive… far more… relaxed… if I get to massage you every night…”

“Oh,” Chris said, the word leaving him like a gasp as he felt her hands move down his shoulders, across his chest, his robe seemingly such little protection against those dexterous touches. “Um… I…”

“Don’t worry,” Gabina giggled. “Don’t fret, master. Master doesn’t have to worry at all, as long as his obedient goblin maid is around.”

Chris nodded softly as her words whispered like a song into his ears. Yes. Yes, no need to worry. No need to… to fret. Just had to… had to listen to Gabina’s words. Her soft tones. So soothing. So relaxing. Her breasts so soft pressed against his back as her hands moved lower. Lower. Lower.

“Oh my, Master, you are so tense here,” Gabina giggled as her fingers stroked the bulge in his pants.

Chris felt his cheeks warm. “Um… Oh. I um…”

“Shhh. Don’t worry, master. Just relax. Let me help ease all that tension from you with my magic hands.”

Magic?

That word stirred some worry in Chris. “Um, Gabina. You… are you… mnnnn!”

His words died in a moan as her delicate fingers undid his pants, his cock fairly springing into the open, and into the waiting grasp of the goblin’s green hands. He groaned as those slender fingers began to stroke him, teasing up and down, tingling against his cock.

“Goodness, master. You were tense! We have to make sure this doesn’t bother you anymore. We’ve just got to get you nice and soft and comfortable…”

“Ah… Ah…” Chris panted, his thoughts tumbling in his head, overwhelmed by the sensation racing through his cock. His loins aching wonderfully. His head swimming in a flood of pleasure as his parted lips panted hotly and his cock throbbed eagerly for more of her tender touches.

“Well, master? Should we have such relaxing sessions every night?”

“Ah… Gabina… I… Mnnnn…”

“Just relax, master. You can’t think when you’re tense. When boys are tense, they get so very dumb. Good boys need to be relaxed. Need to think clearly, or they might make the wrong decision…”

Chris panted, his hips working, thrusting up into her hand. “Gabina. I… ah… mnnnn! Oh, Gabina. I… I… Mmmmm!”

Chris threw back his head, his hips lifting as he moaned, his cock throbbing in her hands as he came, pumping his cum out and onto his lap in great bursts of pleasure. Groaning, Chris sagged into his seat, head cushioned by her tits as empty as his balls, milked by the green fingers of his goblin maid.

Gabina giggled, lifting her hand and delicately licking his cum from her fingers. “My! You were so pent up, master. That’s not good. It’s unhealthy. A good master needs to be nice and relaxed. And you look just exhausted. Maybe you should take a nap…”

“S-sleep? Yes. Sleep… sleep sounds… g-good…”

“Of course it does,” Gabina said, her voice as soft and smooth as velvet. “And I know master is so very easy right now. So sleepy. So… suggestible. In fact, every time I ask if you’re tired, I bet you’re going to feel so very sleepy. So very easy. You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

“Nooooo…” Chris sighed, already feeling the weight of pleasant dreams on him.

“What word will make you relaxed?”

“…tired…”

“So very tired.”

Chris could already feel the word work. Like it awoke something in him. Or, rather, softened everything else. Like the whole world dissolved to that wonderful word.

“Relax.”

“Relax…”

“Sleepy…”

“Sl… ee… p…”

“Good boy,” Gabina whispered, kissing the back of his neck, a blossom of crimson sensation even as the darkness of the void rushed in. “I’m sure you’ll have wonderful dreams…”

---

It was odd. Chris had never felt very tense during work. And yet, since hiring Gabina, it seemed like the day was just a thing to be suffered through so he could go home and relax. Gabina explained that sometimes, men don’t realize how tense they are until they relax, and he had to agree. Ever since he allowed her to massage him every night, he was feeling so much more relaxed! The days seemed to just sail by in a haze.

But not so much that he didn’t notice when he gained a second maid.

He had just gotten home from a meeting with the village council, opening the door only to draw up with surprise. At first, he thought it was Gabina. She had the same green skin, the same short stature, and the same more than ample curves in her tight maid uniform. But when she turned around it was a pair of rich violet eyes in an unfamiliar but no less beautiful face. It was then Chris noted other differences, such as the violet streaks in her dark hair and a small diamond piercing in one nose.

“Hello, master!” the strange goblin said, dipping in a somewhat mocking curtsy,

“...Hello,” Chris said slowly, putting his hat onto a waiting hook without looking away from her. “And… you are?”

“Maggria,” the goblin said, drawing out the A. “Your new maid!”

“I have a maid,” he said.

“Yup! Your head maid, Gabina, was soooo kind to hire me to help out around the place.”

“She… hired you?” Chris said slowly.

“Yup!”

“I see,” Chris said. “And, where is Gabina? I think I’d like to speak to her.”

“Why, in the bedroom, master. And I’m sure she’ll love to speak to you too!”

Chris didn’t like that knowing smile on the goblin maid’s face, but he pushed it aside in favour of getting to the bottom of this. His coat tossed back onto another hook, he walked swiftly down the halls of his manor, his temper flaring. Where did Gabina get off, thinking to hire employees for him? She was just his maid! He was going to have to show her he wasn’t to be trifled with. He was the master of this house, damn it! He might fire her!

The thought that sent an unexpected pang through him, but he pushed it aside as he opened the doors to his private bedroom.

“Gabina!”

The goblin turned from fluffing his pillows and smiled. “Hello, master. You’re home early!”

“Nevermind that! Who is that in the hall?”

“Oh! You must mean Maggria. Isn’t she charming? I hired her on at your behest.”

“What are you talking about, Gabina? I never asked for…”

“Oh no,” Gabina said, her face falling. “Master? Don’t you remember what we talked about last night?”

“Talked about…”

Chris tried to think back to the night prior, but he was having some trouble. All he seemed to remember was Gabina easing him down for another session of relaxation, followed by pink clouds of warm pleasure.

“I… I don’t…”

“You don’t remember me talking about how such a big place is so awfully hard to clean all by my lonesome? About how I could really use some help? Especially now that my tasks have grown? It takes some doing to get my master nice and relaxed every night.”

“But…”

“And I mentioned that I knew the sweetest goblin girl who would make just a wonderful maid! And you were so happy to agree and let me hire her on.”

“I…” Chris trailed off. Had he? He couldn’t remember. But he remembered Gabina talking. A soft, soothing voice ferrying him along clouds of pink bliss. They could have talked about anything. He might have agreed to anything.

“But… I…”

“Oh dear. Master? Are you alright? You look a little… tired…”

Chris blinked, his shoulders relaxing. His body easing and mind growing dim. “I… I’m not that…”

“Oh but you must be! Working so hard. And I know your life is so stressful, master. That’s why I want to make your home so welcoming. So my wonderful, tired master can just… relax…”

Chris swayed a little on his feet. It was like a giant hand was gently pressing him down. His strength and anger bleeding from him in a steady torrent, replaced by teasing clouds of pink bliss. “I… I suppose I am feeling a… a little…”

“Then we simply must get you to bed!” Gabina giggled, taking his hand and drawing him towards his bed. His bed? Had his bed always been so… so big? Not to mention ostentatious. He looked at the curtains and the four posters dimly.

“My bed…”

“Is so soft, master,” Gabina said, her hands very busy. So quick he almost didn’t register when his pants and shirt were gone. “Here. See for yourself.”

She pushed him, and Chris fell into the bed with a gasp. He sank into a mattress as soft as downy feathers with a sound like a sigh.

He tried again to think, but it was getting quite hard to do that. Especially after Gabina climbed onto the bed with him, resting his head on the pillow of her lap. He looked up, but could barely see his maid’s smiling face owing to the great globes of her breasts eclipsing it from his view.

But he could see her smile. So warm. So happy. So… so…

Wonderful.

Chris sighed, sinking into her lap as her hands began to work on his shoulders. Her breasts so close. So wonderful. Her sweet scent surrounded him, soothed him as she always did when she got her nimble hands on him.

“Are you feeling better, master? A bit more… relaxed?”

“Mmm. Getting… there…”

Gabina giggled. “I’m so glad to hear that. A relaxed master is a happy master. It’s so hard to be tired and stressed all the time. It makes you so forgetful! And we can’t have that. We can’t have you being dumb. Far better to be relaxed. Be at ease.”

“Yessss,” he sighed softly as Gabina leaned forward a bit more. Her breasts a bit closer.

“And besides, master. Taking care of the house should be a maid’s job. We can’t have the master cluttering up his head with domestic things. Not when he needs all his brains for work. Better to let me think about the house. Take care of it. Make it a wonderful, relaxing place for my master.”

That… did sound nice. Chris smiled. He was starting to forget why he would even have a problem with Gabina taking over running the house. After all, the master of the house had so much more important things to do.

“And master?”

“Mmm?”

“There’s another reason I hired Maggria.”

“Hm?”

“It’s because she knows an absolutely amazing way to help master relax.”

“I sure do.”

Chris cracked open his eyes. His vision was almost obscured by the green breasts and coal-black nipples above his head (was Gabina always naked?), but he could see that Maggria was suddenly in the room with them, and currently leaning on the bed between his legs, chin in her palm, smirking at him.

Chris knew this was somehow improper. That she shouldn’t be in his room while he was being… relaxed. But when he opened his mouth to say something, Maggria took the opportunity to reach out, and stroke the bulge in his underpants.

“Oooooh,” Chris groaned, words drowned in the hot pleasure of that touch.

“I know all sorts of ways to help master relax,” Maggria giggled, her finger stroking the tip of his cock through the fabric, drawing playful little swirls that made his balls ache. “Lots and lots of ways…”

Chris panted, his head swimming, his eyes glassy with pleasure and bliss and the deep haze of his triggers. He watched, his breath hitching as Maggria tugged down his pants, freeing his cock from their confines. The goblin’s teasing eyes sparked in delight and she grinned wider.

“Mmm. I knew getting a job was the right move.”

“Isn’t it?” Gabina giggled. “Now you can help him relax all you want. Master so loves to relax.”

“Good to know,” the other goblin purred, leaned in, and took the whole of his cock between her lips.

Chris’s head fell back, eyes shooting wide open at the sensation of those heavenly lips going up and down his twitching cock. “Oooooooh,” he groaned as Maggria sucked dutifully, her tongue swirling around his length, her hand resting beneath him, cradling his aching balls and gently massaging and squeezing them, never so much to be painful, but always to a strange sensation so close to pleasure that he couldn’t be sure what it was.

The confusion of sensation spread through the rest of him, but all the while his body was helpless to it. Only able to ache wonderfully as the two goblins adored him, stroking cock with soft lips and shoulders with eager touches, easing all the tension from his frame.

“Master is so very tired,” Gabina crooned. “So tired.”

“Mmmm…” Chris moaned as deeper lethargy paralyzed his limbs. Held him captive to the twin pleasures of his maids.

“In fact, master is so tired, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind his two lovely maids coming by every night to make sure he’s relaxed. He’s always so… tense after work, it must happen in the night too. So tense and aching for his maids…”

“Yes,” Chris panted. “Yesssss…”

“Of course,” Gabina giggled. “Then, the only solution is for his lovely maids to spend all night with him. Make sure he’s nice and relaxed. Nice and easy. Nice… and… dumb…”

“D-dumb?” Chris moaned, a spark of unease working through his mind.

“Not stupid, master,” Gabina was quick to add. “Oh no no no. Master is so smart. But when he’s tired, he’s not thinking right. He’s feeling so very dumb. And that’s why he needs his pretty maids to make sure he’s relaxed. So he’s not so dumb every morning. Because he gets so much dumber when he’s tired. So much sillier.”

“Ah…” Chris whimpered as Maggria’s lips went down to his root and up again, her fingers giving his balls another wonderful squeeze. “Yesss. F-feel d-dumb… Want… wanna be… ah… relaxed…”

“Good master,” Gabina cooed. “And cumming makes you so relaxed. So sleepy. You just have to cum for your wonderful goblin maids. Why, every time you see them, you just feel so happy and relaxed. You never have to worry about being dumb. Your maids are here to serve. All you have to do is.

“Cum.”

The word struck his core like a gong. He shuddered, a rush of sensation shooting through him to every limb. His body quaked as he felt it gather in his balls, teased by Maggria’s hand. Swell up his cock.

“C-cuuuuuum!” Chris moaned.

He came with a shuddering moan. Every pump of his cock into the goblin’s hungry mouth seeming to drain more of his strength. More of his resistance. More of him as he sank deeper into the bed, his head spinning, lids lowering.

“Good master,” Gabina crooned. “Such a good boy. Sleep for us, master. Tomorrow, we’ll make sure we keep you nice… and relaxed…”

“Yes…” Chris said, sighing happily. “Sleep…”

His eyes slid shut, just catching a glimpse of the two goblin maids exchanging smiles. His ears ringing with their laughter as darkness swallowed him in slumber.

---

The weeks began taking on a familiar pattern for Chris. As the day wore on he began to feel more and more tired. More needing the relaxing attentions of his maids. And they were so right. The longer he spent away from his beloved maids, the dumber he began to feel. The more stumbling and fumbling and uncertain he grew until he fell into the arms of his beloved servants and they made everything right again.

Why, soon enough he didn’t even wonder why he had more servants about than before. It seemed like every day he got home and found a new goblin in her tight little uniform hard at work cleaning his manor. Cooking in his kitchens. Smiling at his presence. He didn’t need to worry. Gabina knew what she was doing. And she was happy to introduce him to each of his new servants in his new big bed, where they could help him relax even more.

“Master,” Gabina crooned one evening as he lay in bed, being relaxed like a good boy. The goblin was sitting atop his chest, teasingly bouncing her breasts in her arms while two other goblins cradled his head on their laps, stroking his head and kissing his cheeks.

“Mmmm,” Chris hummed, watching his maid’s big breasts bounce so delightfully. Bounce, bounce, bouncing away all his tension and thoughts and silly worries.

“The other maids and I were talking, and we’re worried.”

Chris stirred. His maids… worried? Oh no. He couldn’t have that. “Wh-what about…” he breathed. It was hard to think at the moment. His cock was tragically being untended, left alone to twitch and throb while Gabina spoke to him.

“Well,” the goblin maid giggled, cupping her big breasts, thumbs gliding over dark nipples. “We’re worried that you’ve been getting a bit… too stressed. A little… too dumb.”

“O-oh?” Chris breathed. He tried to think if she was right, but somehow, couldn’t order his thoughts. He relaxed, though. After all, if Gabina said it was so, she must be right. “Um… okay…”

She giggled, as did the two cradling his head in their laps. “Oh yes master,” Gabina crooned, leaning in closer, letting him admire the big, perfect roundness of her big tits. Dangling them so near his face he could almost kiss them. Almost, if only the touches of the two goblins at his shoulders didn’t make him feel so heavy… “Me and the other servants are worried someone would take advantage of you. And we simply can’t have that…”

“Oh noooo. Not our precious master,” the two goblins at his head cooed.

Chris felt his body warm even further. He looked up at the pair. Maggria and… um… was it Ladina? He couldn’t remember. There were so many goblins about the place these days. So hard to keep track. He felt his cheeks burn. Oh, he must be really dumb if he couldn’t even remember the names of his servants.

“Um… I… Um…”

“But it’s okay,” Gabina said, leaning forward, her breasts so close he could smell the sweet lemony perfume Gabina put on them. “It’s all okay, master. We have a solution.”

Chris smiled, letting his thoughts subside beneath the wonderful haze of his pleasure again. “Oh. G-good. Solutions… good…”

Gabina giggled. “Oh yes, master. Why, it’s so simple! Our delightful master just never has to leave the house again! That way, no mean people can ever take advantage of him…”

Never… never leave the house?

Chris opened his mouth, closed it. Something… something about that felt wrong. So wrong it managed to stir him from his pleasured slumber. “Um… But… My… my lands are…”

“Oh master! Master, please don’t worry. Your lands will be fine. Your lovely maids will be sure to make sure they’re taken care of. They’ll be happy to go out and ensure your lands are so very well ordered. Why, if you need anything done, just tell us, and we’ll make sure your properties are so very well managed. After all, why have so many lovely servants if not to serve?”

“Y-yes,” Chris said, breathing soft and deep. “But… um, that… I can’t… um…”

He was trying so hard to answer. To focus. But his thoughts just wouldn’t line up. Not when his eyes couldn’t stop watching Gabina stroke her big breasts. Bounce them in her arms.

Bounce.

Bounce.

“Of course,” Gabina crooned, plucked a bottle from the bedside table, upending it, pouring glistening oil onto her green breasts. Chris’s mouth fell open as she began to spread that oil over her big, vermillion tits. Making them shine like emeralds and glisten, as slippery as his thoughts. “You don’t need all your lovely servants around the house. Just enough to make sure you’re nice and happy. Nice and relaxed. Nice… and… pleasured…”

Chris’s thoughts fixed on that point. “P-pleasured?” he breathed.

“Yes,” Gabina giggled, sliding down his waist, to his lap, halting there where her big, green tits hovered above his poor, neglected, throbbing cock. “Pleasured.”

She leaned in, and wrapped her oiled tits around his shaft.

“Mnnnnnn!” Chris moaned, head falling back onto the laps of his two other maids, his breath steaming with lust as Gabina began to rub her oiled tits around his twitching manhood. His tentative grip on his thoughts was shattered. He moaned with helpless lust as his maid began to pump his cock between her oiled tits.

“After all, master, you’re not dumb,” Gabina crooned.

“Noooo?” Chris moaned as he panted and bucked, pumping his cock between those wonderful tits. His shaft glistening with oil.

“Oh no, master. Not dumb. Just a bit of a bimbo. Just a silly bimbo.”

“Mmm,” Chris moaned, smiling dimly. Oh. A bimbo. He could do that. He could be a bimbo. He certainly felt like it. Just a moaning, mindless mess in the hands of his wonderful maids.

“Oh yes, master. A bimbo isn’t dumb. He’s just a bit ditzy. A little silly. Well, a little dumb, maybe, but that’s why he has such clever maids around. To make sure he’s nice and taken care of. Nice and safe. Nice and happy and silly and easy.”

“Oooooh,” Chris moaned. He liked the sound of that. He liked the thought of being a happy bimbo. He bucked and thrust ever more eagerly between her big tits. “Yesssss!”

“Silly bimbo,” the goblins at his head crooned, leaning down, kissing his helpless face with big, wet smacks of lipstick. “Poor silly bimbo.”

“That’s okay, though,” Maggria crooned. “We like silly bimbos.”

“Oh gosh yes,” the other goblin giggled. “They’re just the best!”

“Bimbo master. Bimbo lord. Bimbo master,” the two goblins chimed, leaning down, peppering his face with kisses that tingled and sparked across his sensitive skin.

“And good bimbos cum for their pretty maids,” Gabina giggled, his cock cresting the globes of her tits like the mast of a ship, lost a second later as the waves of her oiled breasts rose again. “They cum all their silly brains out for their wonderful goblin maids. They just relax so much they lose all their silly thoughts. Can you do that for us, master? Can you cum out your silly thoughts? We really need you to say yes. A good bimbo always says yes.”

“Y-yessssss!” Chris cried out. He wanted to be a good bimbo so bad! And it was so easy. So easy to just relax. Just let it go.

And be washed away by the sweet waves of pleasure as he came.

His cock pumped; every burst of his seed accompanied by a hot gasp escaping his lips. He pumped his cum with surrender. He pumped his cock with joy. He pumped and came while his eyes spun, swimming with heady pleasure as he sank into the mindless bliss of orgasmic joy, his cock glistening with oil.

As he came down from that height, Gabina giggled and lifted her green breasts, licking the cum from those plump orbs. “Mmm. What a generous master. He deserves a reward.”

“Yes he does,” Maggria crooned, stroking his cheek playfully.

“He so does,” Ladina agreed.

“D-does…?” Chris sighed.

“Absolutely,” Gabina said, rising, crouching above his cock, her velvety pussy dangling over him. The sight of the beautiful goblin above him stirred Chris anew, and his cock rose once more as if magnetically drawn to that silken cunny. Gabina smiled. Or was it smirked? “Good bimbo masters deserve all the pleasures in the world.”

Chris didn’t argue, even if he could find the words. And when she descended, her pussy swallowing every inch of his sensitive cock, words were the furthest thing from his admittedly simple mind.

Chris threw back his head, a trebling moan escaping his lips as Gabina began to bounce atop him. His cock throbbed within her tight depths, the short goblin moaning eagerly as she fucked herself atop him. Took him to the root again and again. Her eyes were warm and eager with pleasure. Her lips parted and panting, her breasts bouncing.

Chris saw no more, because Maggria took that opportunity to plant her own slick cunny on his face, and at once the master of the house was eagerly licking out his maid, tasting her sweet juices as she giggled and moaned, rocking her hips, riding his face.

“What a gooood master. What a wonderful bimbo… Oh yes… yesssss! Oh master, you were absolutely… mnnnn… perfect. Perfect ah… hah… master for a goblin maid,” Gabina moaned.

“Mnmm,” Chris could only moan, his mouth busy pleasuring Maggria.

“And we’re… ah… we’re all gonna be so happy together! Just a big manor filled with your goblins servants. So many… nnnn… so many giggling girls all so happy to s-serve you… To serve our wonderful bi-ah! Bimbo boy. Oh gods yessss! Yesss! Oh baby yes. Give me your cock. Oh yes. Master. Master! Yes! Masterrrrrrr!”

She came, her orgasm almost as thunderous as his. Chris cried out, the last of his resistance, the last of his thoughts, slipping away as he pumped his cum again into his wonderful, beautiful, perfect goblin maid. He almost didn’t notice when Maggria shuddered, cumming as well, drenching his face in goblin juices.

Breathing hard, Maggria got off his face, and Gabina his cock. Chris whimpered at the sense of loss, but Gabina was instantly at his side, giving him a loving kiss. “Don’t worry, master,” the goblin giggled, her eyes shining with delight. “I’ll be back soon. Just have to see the village council and your friends to tell them about the new… arrangement.”

“Ah… I… ah…” Chris panted.

“But don’t worry!” Gabina giggled, patting his cheek. “You’ve got plenty of goblin maids to keep you happy. And I promise to hire plenty more.”

Chris’s worries eased. He relaxed atop the bed, moments before Ladina moved over him, and buried him once more beneath a green muff. As he began to lick, he reflected on how much easier life had gotten since he hired his new maids.

And as he felt Maggria once more put her talented lips to work on his cock, he knew he was going to be very happy with his new servants after all…

[hamliet]

Unless a Grain of Wheat Falls and It Dies...

Or, why I am pretty optimistic about the fates of Jean, Connie, Gabi, and all titanized people this chapter, which is also an excuse for me to talk about SnK’s allusions to Russian literature. 

There are strikingly parallel ideas The Brothers Karamazov and Attack on Titan, as well as parallel plot points and imagery to the point where if it isn’t deliberate, it’s uncanny. (NB: before people yell at me about comparing a Japanese and Russian work, Isayama has used Russian names since the start of SnK--Shiganshina is a Russian name.) In particular, there are narrative allusions to a portion of the novel known as “The Grand Inquisitor,” which is a short story within a novel. The central thesis of “The Grand Inquisitor” is as follows: 

nothing has ever been more insupportable for a man and a human society than freedom. 

This parable is told within the story by Ivan Karamazov, a character whose intellectuality is his gift and his curse. He tells his brother Alyosha that the motivation for creating this parable is precisely the evils done to children (oh look, a major SnK theme) and specifically cites an example which was unfortunately taken from real life in Russia and which Isayama has an uncanny parallel:

I want to see with my own eyes the hind lie down with the lion and the victim rise up and embrace his murderer. I want to be there when every one suddenly understands what it has all been for. All the religions of the world are built on this longing, and I am a believer. But then there are the children, and what am I to do about them? That's a question I can't answer... If all must suffer to pay for the eternal harmony, what have children to do with it, tell me, please? ... if it is really true that they must share responsibility for all their fathers' crimes, such a truth is not of this world and is beyond my comprehension. Some jester will say, perhaps, that the child would have grown up and have sinned, but you see he didn't grow up, he was torn to pieces by the dogs, at eight years old...

... How are you going to atone for them? Is it possible? ... What do I care for a hell for oppressors? What good can hell do, since those children have already been tortured? ... I want to forgive. I want to embrace. I don't want more suffering. And if the sufferings of children go to swell the sum of sufferings which was necessary to pay for truth, then I protest that the truth is not worth such a price. ... too high a price is asked for harmony; it's beyond our means to pay so much to enter on it... It's not God that I don't accept, Alyosha, only I most respectfully return Him the ticket.”

The actual parable of “The Grand Inquisitor” is Ivan’s answer to Alyosha’s question about Ivan’s lines above. Ivan tells a story about how freedom is actually what dooms humanity: it is the curse. (Alyosha does not believe this.) Jesus comes back to earth and is promptly arrested, because his existence and return threaten the wellbeing of society. To be happy, one cannot be free, but one or two strong people in society should be free and bear the burden for everyone else (you can see the parallels to King Fritz/the Reisses). 

Nothing is more seductive for man than his freedom of conscience, but nothing is a greater cause of suffering... all his life he loved humanity, and suddenly his eyes were opened, and he saw that it is no great moral blessedness to attain perfection and freedom, if at the same time one gains the conviction that millions of God's creatures have been created as a mockery, that they will never be capable of using their freedom...

This is SnK’s thesis: to be free, there will be suffering. It is part of human nature, and yet to not have it is to be lost. But SnK, despite its explorations of human darkness and monstrosity, has a higher view of humanity than does Ivan. SnK’s view is more alongside Alyosha’s, who says what is honestly the truth about not just the Reisses, but Eren now:

"Who are these keepers of the mystery who have taken some curse upon themselves for the happiness of mankind? .... It's simple lust of power, of filthy earthly gain, of domination—something like a universal serfdom with them as masters—that's all they stand for.”

Mikasa is akin to the Christ figure in the story, akin to Alyosha: Christ is constantly asked to speak, asked to act, and he does not until the very last moment, when he kisses the Grand Inquisitor on the lips. After the story is over, Alyosha then does likewise to Ivan. 

Not to mention when Alyosha worries about Ivan’s mental state, he then answers with this:

“Listen, Alyosha,” Ivan began in a resolute voice, “if I am really able to care for the sticky little leaves I shall only love them, remembering you. It's enough for me that you are somewhere here, and I shan't lose my desire for life yet.”

A simple leaf can save a life. A leaf can save the world. A leaf, grown from a tree that started as a seed falling to the ground, dead, only to grow life from that death. Alyosha himself notes SnK’s central thesis of chapter 137 in the (very long) novel’s final pages:

...some good, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If a man carries many such memories with him into life, he is safe to the end of his days, and if one has only one good memory left in one's heart, even that may sometime be the means of saving us.

There’s a lot more to this, but this is the epigraph to The Brothers Karamazov, the central thesis of the entire novel:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." -John 12:24

Suffering can grow great fruit in an individual life, and by giving something up, by even death, something beautiful can come. Through cruelty, you can find life. 

This is not just a long-running theme in SnK, but a pattern in its plot. Often those who surrender then receive exactly what they had surrendered (but admittedly, not always, like Erwin). 

Mikasa accepted Eren’s loss, and got him back.

Mikasa let Armin go, and got him back.

Falco gave up hope of survival, and got another chance: 

Hange was going to die alone, feeling guilty for having failed her comrades, but saw everyone again, and they told her well done: 

Historia gave up being free, but now we know she will be.

Levi gave up on his revenge, and then got it. Annie thought she would never see her dad again, but she did. For Mikasa, accepting that she has to kill the boy she loves coincides not just with her acceptance of her love, but with the acceptance and knowledge that he loves her:

It always comes with sacrifice, increasingly hard sacrifice, but usually the seeds that are dropped grow and bloom. 

This chapter, everyone surrendered their hearts. They let their dreams fall to the ground, and I honestly think the story will allow it to plant life. Yes, the world as a whole is saved and that is enough to make thematic sense, but it works even better if the very people who were titanized this chapter also bloom again. They chose to trust Mikasa, Levi, Falco, and Pieck to finish the task.

The characters giving up their lives only to get them back make sense, and give Mikasa’s sacrifice of Eren. For Mikasa, Eren was her world, and she gave it up when she had lost everyone else. She had nothing left, and she still did it. I would hope she’d be narratively rewarded beyond just the world being saved, because Mikasa has always been motivated by her personal relationships.

Moving on from Mikasa: Connie’s mom has been kept alive and the concept of turning mindless titans back to humans was already brought up specifically in relation to her:

Connie giving up on his mother a dozenish chapters ago only to get her back now--not through sacrificing a child, but through saving the entire world--would fit the themes and patterns of SnK.

Thirdly, Gabi should not die. She’s Eren with positive development, and cannot meet the same end. Even people who are skeptical of every titan being saved seem to agree that she’ll be fine. It’s possible she’s the only one saved, but imo, not likely. 

See, the only shifter characters who are going to have the option of self-sacrifice are Falco and maaaaaybe Armin. The others look like they’re about to die right here and now, never mind choosing someone to save: the mindless titans are ripping at their napes. Armin also looks to be in bad shape. 

Yet Armin cannot narratively commit suicide; two chapters ago he was still screaming at himself for being useless and thinking he would be better off dead. He’s already tried the heroic sacrifice, too, so why would it work this time around? It does not work for his arc. Falco dying for Gabi was the plan without any freedom from the titan curse; it’s more powerful if ending the curse changes things, rather than forcing him to make the same choice that Reiner has always been trying to make: a heroic suicide. It could happen; it’s just not as narratively strong.

As for whether the worldbuilding rules, we know that mindless titans are not truly dead nor entirely mindless; they just don’t have freedom. Ymir’s case of getting herself back after decades shows that they aren’t quite dead or absorbed. They still have consciousness that can be awoken; Ymir described it as being in a long “nightmare.” Dina still went looking for Grisha. Connie’s mom remembered and recognized Connie, telling him “welcome home.” There is plenty of evidence that there are parts of these people that are still in there even if they are forced to become monsters (oh hey, it’s an Eren parallel; he was conscious of it and had choices while mindless titans do not, but the parallel remains).

[chudleycanonficfest]

Nobody Compares

Day 22, Story #1 is by @arianatwycross

Title: Nobody compares Author/Artist: arianatwycross.tumblr.com Pairing: Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger Prompt: In Vino Veritas (under the influence) Rating: T Trigger Warning(s) (if any): n/a

Hermione admits to kissing Ron, brags about him to Sarah and her friends. They don’t believe her because she’s acting so out of character.

Ron comes up from behind her and kisses her neck. 

Her friends gasp loudly and she smiles at their shocked expressions. She doesn’t give them time to question her properly, instead she spins around and places her  hands on his chest. 

He’s smiling down at her, his eyes a little glassy from the alcohol. He bends down to whisper something in her ear and Hermione can’t help but bite her lip and nod back. 

Hermione wasn’t surprised that Ron got signed young. He had the sort of edge a football player needs in the modern world, the passion to do more while simultaneously keeping a smart head, his humour, his witty but sensible remarks about teammates and competitors. She wasn’t surprised when he got picked for the first team, the team he grew up supporting, watching on TV and following in magazines. 

She was surprised however, at how easily it was for them to drift apart. She always thought that they would be able to overcome issues like time zones and schedules, but she was wrong. Hermione graduated University with a first in Law, and was on her way to study her Master’s in London and Ron was upping his training and committing to the first team at Manchester United. 

At the beginning they emailed and texted frequently, while Hermione was still settling into her Bachelor’s degree and Ron was still playing for the Under 23’s. But in Hermione’s second year, her course load increased and she had barely had time to even watch a single tv show. Ron tried his best to see her on his weekends off, but in the end Hermione convinced him it wasn’t worth it. The conversations over email and phone started to dwindle to monthly, then every few months and then finally they stopped altogether. 

Hermione did mourn their friendship for a long time. She blamed herself mostly, she knew she was the one that had a bit more freedom to call him when she could. Ron was too busy dealing with training schedules and away games to think about calling his best friend from secondary school. 

It had been four years since she had seen Ron. She still thought about him at times, how could she not when he was one of the most famous football players in the country? Sometimes she saw him in the sports section of the newspaper or saw him on the TV. She was a self-proclaimed Manchester United fan and so she saw him play every game on the TV. Her friends had no idea they were best friends just a few years ago, they had no idea that he was Hermione’s first love. No one knew that, not even Ron. 

So when she walked into the pub down the street one Friday night, and found him standing at the bar she froze. Every muscle in her body just stopped, only her heart thumped heavily in her chest. There he was, back leaning against the bar, red hair still cut short, shoulders a little bit broader, arms definitely more toned, the same cheeky grin plastered on his face. Her heart flipped and cracked all at the same time. 

She hadn’t seen him for four years and on a random Friday night she runs into him? She quickly looked at Sarah next to her, glaring at her as if she had planned this. Sarah of course, did not. Sarah had no idea that Hermione was friends with the famous Ron Weasley. 

“Oh my god, is that Ron Weasley? Doesn’t he play for Man U Hermione? You support them don’t you?” 

Hermione just stared at Ron, her eyes drinking in the mannerisms she hadn’t seen in years. The cross of his arms across his body, the tilt of his smirk as he listened to his mates next to him. 

“Hermione?’ 

“Right, yeah that’s him” 

“Shall we say hello?” 

“No!” Hermione quickly interjects and steers Sarah away from the bar and towards a booth on the opposite side. She can still see him from where she sits but he can’t see her without turning around. 

Sarah gives Hermione a bewildered look. 

“Bit of a fangirl are we?” Sarah asks. 

Sarah works with Hermione, the two of them only just starting to hang out outside of work. She doesn’t know much about the smart solicitor yet, just that Sarah has a boyfriend that works at the bank and that she enjoys a large glass of pinot noir a bit too much. 

She’s nice, and smart and the two of them get along really well. But Hermione wasn’t about to go blab about how the man at the bar was the love of her life between the ages of 15-21. 

“No, just I’m way too awkward to say hello” She mutters, “Shall I grab us some drinks?” 

Sarah nods and rattles off her order. Hermione makes sure she goes to the furthest side of the bar to where Ron leans. He’s still looking in the opposite direction so she calms down a little, lets her muscles relax and breathes steadier so her heart doesn’t go into overdrive. 

She orders her drinks and while she waits she watches Ron. He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans. She watches the smooth muscles in his back tense as he talks, he’s still as mesmerizing as the day she last saw him. 

She drinks another three glasses of wine before Sarah calls the rest of her friends, begging for them to join them at the pub. The pub has grown loud and rowdy, the drinks have been flowing and the heat has made everyone boisterous and excitable.  Ron has relocated to a table with his mates, a pint in his hand, the group of them laughing loudly and Hermione feels herself being pulled towards him. 

Sarah waits at the table for their friends while Hermione goes to order them another round. The alcohol is now freely flowing in her veins, so she doesn’t realise who’s next to her before it’s too late. He stands tall, his elbows resting on the sticky bar. She tenses, her entire body feels inflamed. 

“Mione?”

She might just cry. 

She looks up and finds Ron staring at her in shock. His blue eyes wide and his mouth wide open. She laughs. 

“Hey” she replies, smiling at him. 

Ron instantly smiles back and before she knows it he’s grabbing her into a hug and engulfing her with his scent. 

He smells exactly the same, she thinks. 

“Fucking hell, I can’t believe its you!” he says, pulling back and cupping her face with his large palms. 

She freezes at such an intimate touch but he doesn’t seem to realise. 

“You look good” she says, watching as his eyes also scanned her face. 

“You look stunning” he replies openly, making Hermione laugh again. He drops his hands. 

“How long has it been?” he asks. He’s shaking his head now, still in shock at seeing her. 

“Four years?” 

“Fucking hell, I’ve missed you” he says quietly. 

“Yeah, I’ve missed you too” 

They smile at each other. Hermione grabs the wine glass in front of her as the bartender makes Sarah’s drink. Her entire body is shaking. 

“Are you here with someone?” he asks. 

She points out Sarah, who is now sitting with three other girls. Girls that Hermione hardly knows. 

“Sarah, I work with her. It looks like her friends just showed up” Hermione gives Ron a tight smile.

“Oh well do you have time to chat?” 

“Yeah, let me just give this to Sarah and let her know” she holds up Sarah’s wine glass and Ron gives her a smile. Such a familiar smile that Hermione can’t help but smile back, her jaw hurts already. 

She walks over to the table, tells Sarah that she’s just bumped into an old friend and will be back soon. Sarah’s friends greet Hermione kindly but don’t complain. 

Then Hermione finds herself sitting at a table in the corner of the pub with Ron Weasley. 

She can’t quite believe it. She’s 24 and sitting across a table with her childhood best friend. He looks exactly the same but completely different. She feels exactly the same as she usually does when with him. The old feelings are bubbling up and overwhelming her. How can feelings from four years ago still be so strong?

They end up chatting for hours, the drinks fueling her excitement at seeing him, the alcohol probably fueling another type of feeling that she probably shouldn’t encourage. They talk about their families, their friends, football and her job.  She’s giggling and laughing and then Ron’s telling her he’s sorry. 

“I’m so sorry we feel out of touch. I still think about you all the time” he admits. He’s been drinking beers and she can tell he’s slightly tipsy by the redness of his cheeks. 

“Me too, I guess life just happened”  she murmurs. 

He nods sullenly. 

“I watch all of your games” she admits bravely. She blames the wine, she’s never normally this forward. 

“You do?” 

“Of course I do,” she smiles at his bewildered look. His blue eyes wide and searching hers for the catch. 

“You’re great” 

He laughs modestly. 

“I ask my mum about you every time I go home” he admits and she blushes furiously. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, that’s probably embarrassing but I think I’ve drunk too much to care.” He laughs and she laughs with him. His laugh is so contagious and familiar, a warmth that she had never found in anyone else.

“I’ve heard all about your big job in the city and your nice apartment,” he admits. 

“My mum still talks to your mum so I guess I’m not surprised. Does she also tell your mum that I haven’t had a proper boyfriend in years and that I need to get a move on?” she laughs. 

Ron smiles tightly and she watches as his eyes scan her face and settle on her lips.

“So still no boyfriend?” 

“Nope. What about you? Have you found a hot model to marry yet?” 

He screws his nose up and Hermione laughs. 

“No way, models are too much trouble. But no, no girlfriend. I was seeing a girl last year but it didn’t work out” 

Hermione’s heart flips. She doesn’t want to imagine Ron with another girl, falling in love with another girl.

“That’s a shame” she mutters, hands grasping the stem of the cool wine glass. 

“Not really” 

She looks up and finds him staring down into his beer. 

“Why?” 

He ignores her question and instead looks at her, catching her eyes with his. 

“Do you think everyone has that one person they compare everyone to?” 

The question surprises her, so much that she opens her mouth to answer but finds that she has nothing to say. Or at least, the words don’t seem to form. Instead she can only say one word. 

“Who?” 

His eyes widen but he looks down at the table and smiles. 

“Well, you of course” 

Hermione feels like she’s dreaming, like the alcohol running through her body has numbed her and she is just playing out a fantastic scenario in her drunken brain. 

“What?” she gulps. 

Ron nods as if he’s agreeing to something in his head. 

“You were my best friend and you’re gorgeous, of course I fancied you” they don’t break their eye contact, it seems too important, too life-changing of a conversation to not look at each other. 

“No you didn’t!” she scoffs, thinking of an 18-year old Ron fancying smart-ass, frizzy-haired Hermione. 

“Oh come on Mione! You’re beautiful, smart and funny! I was always flirting with you!” 

She tries to remember a time when he might have been flirting but she can’t, all she can remember is her 18 year old self watching him play football, the way he moved when he sprinted, his laugh when he scored, the way he hugged her when they celebrated. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she gulps. 

“You just got into Uni and you needed to focus. You were always stressing about how important your first year was and then when I called you, I felt like I was distracting you and I knew how important it all was for you so I just stopped calling” he had his hands running through his hair now, settling on his neck and squeezing. 

It was too much for her, to think that she was the reason Ron stopped talking to her. All she could think about was disappointing him, choosing her degree over his friendship, over something more. She stood up frantically and mumbled something about needing air. She heard Ron say something as she walked off but the air was suffocating her, the crowds were too much, the alcohol was making her feel slightly nauseous. 

She shoved open the front door to the pub and pushed through the small crowd out the front. She found a quiet corner near the car park, gulped in the fresh summer air and breathed. 

She couldn’t believe that Ron had fancied her this whole time, that he wanted to talk to her and that he didn’t just feel obliged to talk to her after school. He liked her and she liked him. She spent years watching him play football, happy that he had moved on, trying not to think about the time they had missed. 

“Mione?” 

Hermione looked up to find Ron standing idly a few meters ahead of her. 

“Ron,” she sighed. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

She didn’t consciously walk towards him, it just happened, like the sight of him spurred something in her , made her gravitate towards him. She was inches from him when she stopped and she looked up, her heart warming at the familiar blue eyes and the freckles on his cheeks. So familiar and so him. 

“I missed you so much” is all she can say, and she feels her heart filling at the way he smiles back at her. 

“I missed you too” 

“I’m probably a little drunk but can I kiss you?” she says, the words tumbling from her mouth before she can catch them and swallow them whole. 

He smiles brightly and takes her jaw in his hands, his palms back to where they belong. 

He leans down and kisses her deeply. His lips are soft beneath hers. She wraps her hands around his neck and her fingers lace between his hair, something she had only dreamt of doing. 

She tugs at his hair and he responds by slipping his tongue into her mouth, she moans as their tongues tangle and their breaths deepen. She’s feeling dizzy and she knows it’s not from the wine, it’s from being this close to Ron. It’s from all the pent up feelings she’s had buried for years, for the disappointment she had felt, the deep sadness from him not being in her life. 

They pull apart and Ron kisses the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her cheek. 

“Mione?” 

“Yeah?” she murmurs, still breathless. 

“Please tell me you have time to see me” 

The desperation in his voice breaks her, she grabs his face and kisses him fiercely. 

“Ron, I’m not letting you go this time” 

He smiles as he kisses her this time, and they laugh in between kisses. 

He asks if he can take her home and she delightfully finds out that he lives nearby, just a 20 minute walk from her own house. He explains that he’s actually been transferred to Arsenal and he moved to London just a few weeks ago. He seems happy about the change and Hermione can’t help but grin proudly as he tells her about the transfer and his new apartment. She feels like this is all too good to be true, that he’s now close by, he’s here and with her. 

She goes back inside the pub to say goodbye to Sarah, he pulls her in for another kiss before they enter the pub. He also says goodbye to his mates and she feels feverish as she wanders over to the crowded table. Sarah squeals when she appears and Hermione notes how intoxicated everyone is and smiles. Sarah’s friend, Ashleigh asks if Hermione knows Ron Weasley and Hermione nods, not stopping the huge smile that graces her face when she hears his name. Sarah squeals again at Hermione’s blush and Hermione ends up gushing when Sarah asks if they snogged. 

She revels in the faces of Sarah and her friends when Ron kisses her neck, and she lets his lips spread heat over her entire body. 

“We have a lot of catching up to do Miss Granger.”

[stupid-simp33]

A Song So Sad

Sebastian x f! Reader

Summary: Sebastian and Ciel are out in the town gathering new China and Tea when they hear a lovely tune playing in the town square; a violin sonata so beautiful and sad it makes even the clouds cry.

Request: nope

Warnings: none?

—————————

“London and it’s damn clouds.” The young master chided distastefully. Sebastian looked upwards with an expressionless gaze. “It appears it’s going to rain; young master we should return home soon.” The tall man looked to his pocket watch and shuffled the many boxes he balanced and carried; hoping to avoid the rain with the boys fragile health he could only silently wish to go home and start on dinner preparations. It was getting quite late. Sebastians ears perked as the young master stopped walking abruptly infront of him. And he could tell why.

A tune so beautiful reached his ears in no time at all. Entrancing the two men like a sirens song, luring their ship to crash into the rocks. The two followed the other people that were seemingly in a state of hypnotism to the town square. Could this be another demon? Sebastian queried to himself. A semi large crowd had gathered to find the source of the music. To find the song so sweet and so sad it appealed to all.

Sebastians trance was broken at the sound of weeping. Mothers held their children close as they weeped quietly into their husbands and fathers. Young Children stared emptily into space not knowing how to express the flurry of emotions. Men bit their lips as silent tears dropped from their glazed eyes, and slowly rolled down their cheeks like honey from a jar. What is this? I’ve never seen such a mass reaction to merely music. Red orbs flitted around taking in the scene and his thoughts started to bubble up out of the haze. What he could not comprehend was why no one was leaving. If this was causing them all to act so unseemly why would they not leave to uphold their families image? If anything only more and more people continued to gather. The smell of salty tears stung his nose. A pull at his sleeve caught his attention and looked down. He was shocked at the sight.

His young master was crying. Clear Fat tears rolled steadily down his round baby like cheeks. His uncovered blue eye shone with a storm of emotions, his lip trembled as he tried to control his ragged breathing in efforts to remain quiet. It would be unsightly for the queens watchdog to breakdown with the rest of the unfortunate public around him. But what the butler from another realm so off guard was the innocence. The innocence that was held in the young masters crystal blue orb was that of a child who hadn’t lost his entire family to a fire. Hadn’t been kidnapped and branded and sold. Hadn’t made a contract with a demon. This was an eye that held the purest innocence and clearest emotions. Sebastian put a gloved hand on the young masters head and shut his ruby eyes. He gave a smile that was neither real nor fake. It was simply an expression to comfort the child before him.

The sudden contact from his butler broke Ciel from his state of purity. His eye shadowed over in slight embarrassment as he swatted the mans hand from his hair. He rubbed at his cheeks with his silk black gloved hands and looked to the centre of the crowd. “Is this one of your kind?” Ciel hissed with a glare to the ground. “I do not believe so.” Sebastian murmured in order to not disrupt the eerie quietness amongst the people. “Well is it an angel then?!” Ciel was hit with too many emotions for him to be rational at the moment. But he at least remained hushed. “That is not it either young master. I believe it’s human. I sense no divine presence.” Sebastian replied watching the young lord like a hawk. “I demand you find who ever is making this music...after the song is finished.” He paused and Sebastian quirked a single fine black eyebrow, of course he expected his master to make a request but he wasn’t prepared for the second but of his sentence. How peculiar... Sebastian thought to him self. The butler decided only now to find the source of the sound. He had been too caught up in the crowds reactions to really think about who exactly could be causing such a scene.

It was fairly easy though. All he had to do was look straight and he’d see the being responsible. So simple. But why couldn’t he. He tried to look ahead but it felt almost wrong to do so. His eyes would flirt so quickly over the centre of the gathering he wouldn’t be able to really see the person in the middle. He could look around the sides and look down and up but it was like a nagging feeling kept him from looking straight ahead. Then he noticed it. Not a single person had their gaze lifted to watch. Their eyes were either set on the stormy clouds that settled over head getting darker by the minute, or the filthy ground beneath their shoes. What on Earth... Sebastian was growing sick of this game. The song was beautiful he could deny no longer but it was long and he needed answers immediately. The slight thunder accompanying the atmosphere and the chords being played alerted Sebastian JD was going to rain. And soon.

“Well? Do you see it?” Ciel hissed, his composure back as well at it could be. “I’m afraid not.” Sebastian murmured back, his hushed tone Curt in annoyance. The song was becoming more tense and its tempo quickened. A baby’s wait could be heard from the other side of the circle. This alerted everyone and startled the crowd but the music played on. What was this power? Not divine. Not demonic. More thunder yet this time closer and louder. A deep root note was strewn about quickly turning into sharp high pitched notes as lightning flashed not far. The songs notes weren’t as soft and alluring anymore. They were aggressive and hostile. The clouds were turning into the darkest grey that rivalled black. Sebastians head whipped around as more people let out wails and released cries. There’s no way this creature is human! So why do I not sense any powers? He thought. Sebastian gritted his teeth. This cretin he no longer liked was starting to irritate him. The song was aggressive but came to a halt! There was no more tune. No more notes. No more chords. It was like a dramatic pause.

Drip.

Drip.

Shaken from his frustrated state he opened his eyes. When had he closed them?

Drip.

More drips. More rain. More patters. More water. The song played again. Softer and quieter. You’d strain to hear it but hear it you could. The clouds weeped, a light sheet of rain dribbled upon the emotion-filled citizens of London as they held their faces and cried. As the song came to a close people hugged their loved ones and those along hugged them selves. In a society where emotions are often fake or subdued this was a change none had ever experienced before. It was raw. The music left a feeling of raw-vulnerability in the chests of all who heard it.

Once more Sebastian looked down to his master to see his head down and his small hand clutching where his heart was. “Find them and bring them to me. Now.” Ciel demanded through gritted teeth. As the crowd dispatched and stumbled away-some still crying and weeping- Sebastian gave a shallow bow. “Of course young master.” He unfolded an umbrella handing it to the boy and took long strides towards the centre which he could now face with out struggle, leaving his shaking master behind.

Sebastian expected many things when he found who ever it was that created such an event. Who ever had elicited such a mass response from even the weather and gods them selves to make them cry with their mortals on earth. They were probably of looks to rival a goddess or angel. The sincerity and raw feelings cast upon all those who heard it- even ensnaring a demon for a period of time. Rain soaked through his tail coat and into his vest. The cold water droplets reaching his skin with ease yet it did not phase him. He was on a mission. A mission ordered by his young master. A mission to find the being responsible for the gods cry’s.

What he found was none of his expectations.

A girl of average height with now soaked s/c skin, clad in a peasants cream coloured dress that dropped with the clouds tears was knelt at a violin case. She was ordinary looking enough. No extravagant gown made of fine silks and ribbons. No bonnet of flowers. No wings protruding from her back as he honestly expected. Just a girl with An old beat up case with faded leather and that was closed with a click. The well taken care of instrument held inside with care to protect from the unseemly weather. This was not right at all. How could such a simple thing do such an extravagant action that could be compared to a divine being? E/c orbs shifted up in shock to the man before her Who’s scrutinising stare burned holes through her. The two held eye contact and she gave a crooked smile. Her pinky lips quirked up at the corner as her velvety voice spoke, “most people leave after I’m done.” A french accent was woven thick in her words. “You...you are different though. I sense you are very different.” She nodded as she stood up. The rain pattering onto her and drenching her. Her hair looked like she had just showered, it was flush against her rosey cheeks and plastered across her face. The curls/strands sagged from the water weight.

“Are you the one who played that song.” The younger voice demanded rather than asked. She nodded and gave a smile to the Earl. Her e/c eyes held contact with his uncovered blue one. Rain pattered and bounced from the black umbrella. She gave a curtsy, “Ouí, my name is y/n l/n. I hope you enjoyed my playing.” She bowed her head in respect. From his cloths and the fact he had a butler she could tell it was better to be polite and respectful.

“I am Ciel Phantomhive. I would like to request you accompany my butler and I back to our estate. I wish to ask about your music. You will be given dry cloths and fed accordingly of course.” The Earl stated curtly. Distrust clear in his suspicion blue eye.

“My music is simply the emotions every person feels.” She closed her eyes this time, giving a broader smile, before turning around and walking down the street in the rain.

“Young master-“ Sebastian was cut short by the boy.

“Leave it.” He glared at her receding figure. “Just leave it. Take me home now Sebastian. I’m tired and cold.” Ciel turned with a swish of his black out coat and walked back the way they’d arrived god knows how long ago. The rain continued to patter onto the road and those who couldn’t find shelter. The thunder rumbled with great power in the distance. Emotions filled all of London and Sebastian could taste them all in the damn air. What a creature. His eyes flashed as he took a deep breath to calm him self.

“Yes young master.”

END.

——————————

A/N: honestly I would have loved to make this into more of a series but I didn’t wanna make the shot too long and loose the vibe so sorry if the endings kinda awkward.

[babymetaldoll]

Spencer Reid first official Valentine's day (Spencer Reid/ Reader)

Requested: Nop

Summary: Spencer has no idea what to do for Valentine's Day. After all, he has never had a girlfriend before.

Category: Hardcore fluff

Warnings: Nope

Word count: 3,8K

Masterlist

A/N: Happy Valentine's day, everybody! Treat yourselves! Love yourselves and enjoy this fluff!! Love you all!!

February 7th. Quantico.

There are many things you can say about Spencer Reid. He is a genius. Has an IQ of 187, can read over 20 thousand words per minute. He has one of the most demanding and dangerous jobs in the world. He saves lives for a living.

And he has no idea what to do for Valentine's.

In his defense, he has never celebrated Valentine's day before, ever. In his entire life. And he is excited to share that special date with his girlfriend, (Y/N). But he has been pressuring himself so much in the last days, trying to find the most romantic plan humankind had ever seen. He is, in fact, going insane.

- "Hey lover boy,"- Morgan found Reid all alone in the bullpen, sipping his second cup of coffee of the day.

- "Are you ready for Valentine's?"- and the only answer Spencer could give his friend was a frustrated groan.

- "I'm taking that as a no"- Derek raised an eyebrow and sat on his friend's desk- "What is it?"

- "I just don't know what to do to make that day special for (Y/N),"- Spencer whispered- "We've been dating for a month, three days and..."- he took a look at his wristwatch- "Eleven hours. And I want our first Valentine's day together the most romantic day of her life."

Morgan widened his eyes and looked at his friend. He had always seen Reid as his kid brother, and he felt it was his duty to help him in life. Whether it was to help him overcome his fear of talking to girls, catching unsubs, questioning suspects, or getting drunk. Whatever Spencer needed him for, he was there. This wasn't going to be the exception.

- "What do you have in mind that might be special for her?"- Morgan whispered and took a look around. Prentiss and (Y/N) were just stepping out of the elevator with Garcia. The three of them stayed talking in the hall for a few minutes, giving Spencer time to answer.

- "Nothing I can think of seems good enough"- he whispered- "I need to find something that shows her how much she means. Movies and chocolates just won't do it."

Morgan nodded and looked at Reid. He was about to chuckle and tease him a little, just playing, when (Y/N) showed up next to them, with a huge grin.

- "Good morning, guys!"- she smiled at Derek and handed Spencer a small paper bag- "For your coffee, doctor."

- "Thank you."

Reid blushed and opened the bag. Inside there was a red velvet cupcake with little heart-shaped sprinkles on top. He stared at it, not knowing what to say. (Y/N) just giggled and walked to her desk.

Spencer and (Y/N) had been acting like teenagers since they started dating. It wasn't just the fact they were young, 'cos they were, both of them 27 and 25 years old respectively. It was how the two of them had been crazy in love with each other for the last two years, and neither of them had acted on it until Spencer nearly died of anthrax.

It's crazy how one of them had almost to die to realize it was time to face their feelings.

And now, they were finally dating.

Spencer had never been happier. No one who knew him could deny it. He would laugh all the time and make jokes with his friends. He never stayed at the BAU working extra hours anymore, 'cos now he and (Y/N) had a date almost every day when they weren't on a case.

Spencer had never felt this way. He had never thought he deserved to be this happy. That is why he was having such a hard time finding the perfect Valentine's gift for (Y/N).

He didn't just want to. His whole body felt he needed to show (Y/N) how much she meant for him in every way possible.

But he had never had a girlfriend before, and he had never celebrated Valentine's day. Needless to say, he felt he was clueless.

February 12th.

- "Hey, Pretty Ricky"- Morgan sat with Reid on the jet back home after a case and handed him a handwritten paper.

- "What's this?"- Spencer furrowed his eyes and took a look around. (Y/N) had fallen asleep talking with Prentiss at the other side of the jet.

- "I've been thinking about what we talked about the other day, about Valentine's day. And I think I've got the answer."- Reid took a look at the paper and frowned. An address and an hour.

- "Be there tomorrow at that time, and you'll get all the help you need"- Spencer stared at Morgan, confused.

- "At Rossi's? Why?"

- "Trust me, kid. The man is an institution of romance. If there's someone who can help you surprise (Y/N), that's him".

Reid wasn't comfortable thinking Morgan had been talking about this love life with someone else. Then again, he was pretty excited he had a love life after all those years. And, if Rossi could help him, Spencer couldn't really say no. After all, he needed all the help he could use.

- "Are you ok?"- (Y/N) asked Spencer and cut him a short nervous smile as she drove him to his apartment after landing. He had been acting a little off for the last couple of days, and she still couldn't figure out what was going on.

- "Yes. Just tired"- he answered, almost under breath.

- "Do you wanna hang out? Maybe pizza, beer... any movie or documentary you might like to see?- but Spencer just shook his head and kept looking outside.

- "I'm sorry, I'm tired after the case."

- "Sure, that's ok."- (Y/N) sighed and kept her eyes on the road.

- "I'm"- Spencer tried to explain- "I am really just tired, there's nothing wrong or weird going on."

- "Yeah, of course"- (Y/N) smiled again and continued driving- "You'd tell me if there was anything wrong."

- "Yeah! definitely."

As a profiler, (Y/N) knew Spencer was hiding something. As his girlfriend, she had to pretend she didn't know she was lying. She trusted Reid, so she wanted to think he was honestly affected after the case. They hadn't slept well those days, either of them. It had been a hard couple of days. Maybe Spencer just needed to rest. Perhaps in the morning, he was going to be his regular adorable self again.

- "Call me when you get home, ok?"- Spencer leaned in and kissed (Y/N) lips goodbye as soon as she parked outside his building. (Y/N) nodded and kissed him again. His hands cupped her face in a second, holding her close to him for a moment longer.

- "Are you sure you don't wanna eat something?"- (Y/N) murmured against his lips.

- "Yeah... about that... I don't know if it's too obvious or if I have to ask, but... would you like to go out with me on Valentine's day?"

Spencer was nervous to ask his girl out. He couldn't be more adorable even if he tried. And (Y/N) knew it.

- "I already had plans for that day"- (Y/N) shrugged and shook her head

- "Really? What? Why, I mean, I understand...?"- Spencer wasn't even sure what he was saying. He wasn't waiting for that answer.

- "Yeah, I saved the date over a month ago, to spend it with my boyfriend, Reid"- and she stuck out her tongue to him, giggling- "You should've seen your face. Are you ok?"

- "I hate you"- Reid bit his lips and chuckled

- "No, you don't,"- (Y/N) joked and kissed his lips for a second- "So, see you tomorrow?"

- "Yes"- Spencer kissed her one more time, and this time, he bit her lips as he slowly moved apart.

- "So next date is our Valentine's date?"- she pouted- "No cuddles until then?"- and Spencer shook his head- "You are no fun."

- "You are gonna have to wait"- he kissed her again, this time a little slower, feeling how she kept trying to move closer to him from the driver's seat.

- "I don't wanna wait."

- "It will be worth the wait. I promise"- Spencer looked at her with such love, (Y/N) held her breath, unable to talk. She just nodded- "Call me when you get home, ok?"

- "Yes"- Spencer kissed her one last time and got off the car, whispering to himself.

- "Ok, now I really need a good plan."

Remember Spencer had been pressuring himself, trying to find the most romantic plan humankind had ever seen?

Now the pressure was massive, 'cos he had actually told (Y/N) he had an incredible plan.

- "Why did I have to open my mouth?!"

February 13th. At Rossi's.

- "Kid, here is the best advice you've ever heard for love"- Rossi poured a glass of red wine for himself and Spencer as the two of them stood in his kitchen. David was about to start a cooking lesson, and Reid was prepared to take notes. Literally. He was holding a pen and a notebook.

- "You will always know nothing"- Reid stopped writing after the second word and looked at Rossi, already annoyed.

- "What?"

- "Sorry, kid. I know you love to learn, and that's a good thing 'cos you will always learn something new when it comes to love. You will never fully understand it. Look at me, three marriages in, and I still have no idea what I'm doing."

- "I was promised a talk with a master of romance. I feel disappointed."- Spencer complained, and David chuckled- "No offense, Rossi, but I was sure you were going to know a lot more than you are telling me right now."

- "The things I know, I can not teach you. You don't learn things about love. You learn about the people you love. That's why you will never know it all. Sure. I can tell you the basics: flowers, restaurants, presents. But the key for romance is knowing the woman you love."

Reid just nodded in silence and tried to make a mental list of everything he knew about (Y/N). That was a lot of information.

Rossi smiled, thinking when he returned to the BAU, he never imagined he was ever going to end up having a kid. Because that's how he felt about Spencer sometimes. Like he was his kid, and he loved to teach him things he wished someone had told him. For example, how to surprise your girlfriend on Valentine's day.

- "The second most important advice I am going to give you today is this: you always cook with the same wine you drink"- Rossi raised his glass and sipped it- "Perfecto! Now let's make risotto!

After that evening with Rossi, Spencer felt a lot more confident about his Valentine's plans. He would cook dinner for his girlfriend, which was (according to what he had talked with David) one of the most romantic things anyone could do for their partner. And considering (Y/N) had always cooked for Spencer, even when they were just friends, he wanted to make her feel as loved as he felt each time she cooked his favorite dish for him.

But also, after cooking and having dinner with Rossi, Spencer was feeling a little drunk. That wine tasting had been a little.... excessive, maybe? Four bottles of wine didn't seem disproportionate at the moment, but Spencer realized it might have been too much on the cab back home.

- "Hello, gorgeous"- because suddenly, Spencer was doing his first drunk dial- "What are you doing up so late?"

- "Spencer, are you ok? It's two in the morning. Where are you?"

- "I'm on my way back home, and I was thinking about you and all the fun we are going to have tomorrow. But tomorrow is now"

(Y/N) sat on her bed and scratched her head confused, and still half asleep.

- "What are you talking about, honey?"

- "Tomorrow is Valentine's day, but tomorrow is right now!"

- "Spencer Walter Reid, are you drunk?"

- "No! no way! Why are you middle naming me for?"- his voice was a pitch higher as he tried to deny the truth.

- "Where were you?"

- "At Rossi's"- Reid couldn't lie. Not only because he was drunk and there was no way he could come up with any weird story, but also because he couldn't lie to (Y/N).

- "We had a wine tasting and a long conversation about what went south with each one of his relationships. Statistically, that man should be studied. I wanted to offer myself to do a little research until I remembered you said sometimes people don't share their feelings to be analyzed, but because they need to take them off their chest. So I just nodded and told him he is an amazing person. Which he is! Did you know he is friends with Ringo Star?

- "No way!"- (Y/N) tried not to laugh, but drunk Spencer was too amusing- "What else did you talk about?"

- "You"- Spencer confessed and sighed- "We talked about you, and how wonderful you are"

(Y/N) nearly choked when she heard Spencer saying those words so easily. Like it wasn't something it had taken years for him to confess. Like she hadn't waited years for him to tell her how he felt for her.

- "Are you in a cab?"- she asked and changed the subject.

- "No, I just got off the cab... hold it"- Spencer thanked the driver and paid for the ride- "And I am about to walk into my building."

- "Good! so, tomorrow, what's the plan?"

- "Dinner"- Spencer chuckled- "Here, with me."

- "Are you going to cook for me, Spencer Reid?"

- "I don't know. Maybe I'll cover myself in Nutella and give myself to you for dessert."

(Y/N) didn't know what to answer at that. Not only Spencer had never said anything as bold as that, but... they hadn't even had sex yet. And now (Y/N) couldn't stop thinking about licking Nutella off Spencer's body. Hopefully, that was indeed their Valentine's plan.

- "You should go to bed"- that was all (Y/N) could answer- "And I'll see you tomorrow... at what time?"

- "Six, princess. I'll be waiting for you at six"- Princess. That was new too.

- "Ok, honey. Drink lots of water when you get home."

- "I'm home!"- Spencer announced, and (Y/N) heard his keys falling on what she hoped was a table.

- "Great, now drink water, brush your teeth and sleep well. Ok, honey?"

- "Yes, sunshine!"- (Y/N) giggled and shook her head.

- "Goodnight, Spencer. I'll see you tomorrow."

- "At six, bub"- he repeated.

- "Yes. I'll be there at six. Goodnight"

- "Sleep tight, love of my life"- (Y/N) giggled and sighed. She really didn't know how to answer those words. (Y/N) knew Spencer was drunk, which was the only explanation for his cheesy nicknames... cheesy nicknames she loved.

- "Sleep tight, my sweet prince,"- she whispered and hung down the phone.

That had been interesting. Now, how was (Y/N) going to shake off the image of Spencer covered in Nutella, asking her to lick him?

Seriously, how?

February 14th

Spencer Reid was slightly hungover, and the conversation he had had with (Y/N) on the phone the night before was a blur in his mind.

None of that stopped him from getting up early to clean the house and going to the grocery store to get everything he needed to cook dinner for his girlfriend.

But not only that, but he also sent her flowers to her house early morning and breakfast from her favorite coffee shop.

Reid had never had a girlfriend for Valentine's day, and he finally had someone to share everything he always dreamt of doing on February 14th.

Spencer Reid was a hopeless romantic. No one could ever doubt that. No one actually knew that either. It was a well-kept secret between him and (Y/N).

- "Thank you for the flowers"- (Y/N) texted and stared at the gigantic bouquet on her table- "And breakfast."

- "Dinner is going to be way better,"- Spencer answered and smiled, pleased with his romantic techniques. Rossi would be proud. He took a mental note to write Rossi a thank you note if things went well that night.

Of course, things were going to be ok. Why wouldn't they? All Spencer had to do was keep calm, cook, and have a great time with his girlfriend.

Around four, Spencer started getting ready. First, he set the table for two, in the most romantic way he could, after googling "romantic table setting for two at home." The fact he had actually googled something would have been enough for (Y/N) to feel the most special woman on earth for Spencer. But she wasn't going to find out about that yet.

Spencer cooked dessert and made sure the champagne was cold. Then, he set some appetizers: Strawberries covered in chocolate to help the brain produce serotonin. And watermelon and prosciutto skewers. Spencer knew watermelon contains citrulline, which increases nitric oxide levels in the body, relaxing blood vessels and speeding up circulation to produce arousal. Basically, he was making sure blood was getting to all the right places, just in case.

After that, Reid took a long shower. He wasn't waiting to get laid that night. But a part of him needed to be prepared. He was getting his house ready for romance, after all.

Once he was dressed, combed (sort of), and ready, Reid started cooking. First, he chopped all the veggies, settled everything he would need, and read (again) the notes he had taken from Rossi's cooking class.

- "First, heat the extra virgin olive oil in a medium heavy-based saucepan."- he commanded himself.

- "Add the onion and celery and sweat until softened"- he did as told and steered the veggies in the pan

- "Why would they call it "sweat"? Are the vegetables actually sweating? who would come up with that concept?"

Spencer kept rambling for a few minutes until he noticed his pan looked exactly like Rossi's had. Reid was pleased.

- "Stir in the rice with a wooden spoon and coat each grain with the oil. Then, add the wine and allow it to evaporate."

The wine. Why did he drink so much wine the night before? It was a miracle he didn't do anything stupid, like dialing (Y/N)'s number just to call her "princess..."

- "Fuck!!"- Reid nearly yelled.

It was all Rossi's fault. What was that stupid thing he said? "Wine prepares the heart for love." Well, clearly, after all the wine they drank the night before, Spencer had been ready for love. So prepared, in fact, he had called (Y/N) "Love of my life," "Bub," and "Princess."

That shouldn't be so embarrassing, considering they were already dating, right? Right.

- "She is your girlfriend! You can call her cute names!"- he repeated himself- "Get your shit together, Reid!"

Yes. He had already called her "gorgeous" a few times before. For Christ's sakes, he had kissed her, and he had touched her (a little, and just upon her clothes). But there was no way he could or should be embarrassed to call her cute names!

Spencer was embarrassed anyway, and he couldn't shake the thought off his mind for the next half hour. Not until he heard a knock on the door.

(Y/N) was there.

It was on. Spencer's first official Valentine's celebration was about to start. And there was no way he felt ready for it.

- "Hello!"- (Y/N) said and smiled when her boyfriend opened the door for her.

- "Hi"- he whispered and held his breath for a few seconds- "You look so pretty."

- "Thank you... so do you"- and neither of them was moving. They just stared and smiled until (Y/N) asked.

- "Can I come in?"

- "Sorry!"

Spencer mentally slapped himself and invited (Y/N) in as she giggled and took off her coat. She was wearing the most flattering velvet dress. According to Reid, she looked so good, he forgot how to breathe for a second.

- "Are you ok?"- (Y/N) asked him, and he just nodded- "What are you cooking? it smells amazing."

- "It's a surprise,"- Reid answered flirtatiously and held (Y/N)'s hand- "Can I get you something to drink?"

- "Yes, please,"- she answered and bit her lips for a moment, staring at the man in front of her. Spencer caressed her cheek softly for a moment before leaning in and kissing her sweetly.

- "Happy Valentine's day, Spencer,"- she murmured

- "Happy Valentine's day, (Y/N),"- he answered, resting his forehead against hers, closing his eyes, enjoying that moment of love. Reid wasn't used to feeling like that too often, and he decided to hold it.

Dinner was a success. (Y/N) was in awe with everything Spencer had prepared for her. It wasn't just the fact dinner was delicious, but also the cooking class with Rossi and how thoughtful he had been with everything he had done for her.

That man deserved the best Valentine's ever, and the present and card she had gotten for him didn't feel like enough.

- "I hope you don't mind, but I got dessert,"- (Y/N) said and giggled, staring at her boyfriend, who was just walking to the dining room holding two cups of tiramisu.

- "What? Why? you didn't need to bring anything, I just..."

- "Well, after last night's call, I couldn't stop thinking about this...."

(Y/N) opened her purse, took out a big Nutella jar, and placed it on Spencer's table. He stared at it, not getting what it meant for a moment.

- "Why are you...."- until it hit him- "Oh... ooh!!"- and Spencer's cheeks were burning red in less than a second.

- "I didn't know if you meant it, but it sounded like a good dessert"- (Y/N) smiled and poked out her tongue as she finished talking.

- "I actually..."- Spencer's brain shut down for a few seconds as he realized what he had actually imagined doing with (Y/N) might even be real that night.

- "I like your idea way better than the tiramisu"- that was all he managed to say and looked at (Y/N) standing up, walking towards him slowly. She dipped her finger in the Nutella and spread a little on his lips, to then lick it, very gently.

- "Technically, it was your idea. You suggested it. I just brought the Nutella"- she whispered and looked at Spencer, who was utterly paralyzed.

Reid needed a few seconds to gather his thoughts again, but it was totally worthy when he did.

He held (Y/N) close and deepened the kiss, feeling her moan against his lips.

- "You don't mind the germs that might..."- but she was cut off immediately by Spencer's rushed words.

- "I give a shit about all the germs in the world right now."- and all (Y/N) could do was giggle, staring into his eyes.

- "Happy Valentine's Reid."

*****

Taglist

@all-tings-diego​  @calm-and-doctor​

[morizoras-cave]

Sleepover (Collab with @lozzypoz321)

Sebastian Stan x f!teen!co-star!reader, MCU Cast x f!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: fluff, crack honestly

Description: You and the MCU cast have a secret sleepover on set.

Warnings: language!!

A/N by morizoras-cave: this was even more fun than the last fic, loz is so so funny and so so talented and i just feel so comfortable writing with her :) also so many… bad things… happened while we wrote this. I mean it was chaotic.. I hope you enjoy its LONG

A/N by @lozzypoz321​: this was so much fun to write and I loved it!! Honestly you do not want to know what happened behind th scenes because that was a m e s s. Vic is suck and amazing writer and deserves so much love! Hope you enjoy!!

“Kid, open the door!” your head snapped to the door of your hotel room. You recognised Sebastian’s voice coming from outside. “Open up!”

“I’m coming” you yelled, padding over to the door and opening up. Sebastian and Anthony stood out there. They looked oddly child-like as they stood there with their sleeping bags and dressed in pjs. You snorted. “Well, hello to you too!” 

“Don’t laugh, N/n, this is serious.” Anthony said as you walked out, you also dressed in your marvel pjs and with a sleeping bag in hand. Although, you thought, it was hard to take him seriously when he was dressed in Winnie The Pooh slippers. 

“Whatever you say, man.”

The entirety of the marvel cast had planned a sleepover on set. It was very secret, apparently. You didn’t know the full story, but they had seemingly asked the directors if they could have an onset sleepover and they’d refused, so someone had to steal a key. It was a whole process, but nonetheless you found yourself on the way to set at around 10:30. 

“Is anyone bringing snacks?” you asked. You, Seb and Anthony were walking down the street. You could see the set already. “Damn, I hope so” Anthony mumbled and you all continued walking. 

When you got there Elizabeth was standing outside, holding the door open with what you assumed was the stolen key. She ushered you inside. “You’re late and for some reason I’m not surprised.”

Inside all the others were already waiting, the entirety of the cast. Notably, you could see that Robert, Scarlett and Mark had created a pillow fort, and were hiding out in the coziness with a bag of popcorn. 

“Welcome, late-comers!” Robert greeted you dramatically, standing up in his Iron Man onesie. “You’ve missed the pizzas. You know, because you’re late!” 

“It’s fine, we already ate. Which is why we’re late,” Sebastian pointed nodded to Anthony. You nodded along.

Everyone sat down on a large stretch of couches, blankets and pillows, where Elizabeth had placed a projector pointed to an empty wall of the set. You sat down with Tom (Hiddleston), Sebastian and Mark. It was a rather weird thing to see so many grown men and women (that you had previously had respect for) in their most colourful pjs, but you supposed it was on you to expect any differently from this cast of people. 

Chris (Evans) had picked a movie and, unsurprisingly, he picked Iron Man 1. Robert protested for about two seconds, before he let everyone shower him in compliments because that movie was so damn good. ���Okay okay, I guess we can watch it if we really have to”

Scarlett lightly laughed and pressed a button on the projector to start the movie after placing the disk inside that Chris (Evans) had brought from his collection at his house. “Where’s the snacks?” You heard Chris (Hemsworth) loudly whisper to Scarlett who sat next to him. 

“Ooh do we have popcorn?” You quietly asked Sebastian who nodded and reached across Anthony who was laid next to him to retrieve the salted popcorn that Mark had gotten just for you as he was in charge of the snack committee. Chris (Evans) silently got up, after making sure nobody noticed him (except from you), and crawled across the room in his rapunzel pjs on his hands and knees to reach Robert who was now on the verge of unconsciousness with dribble falling from the side of his mouth. Trying to be discreet, he raised his hands scarily behind him, gaining everybody’s attention in the room except Robert, and suddenly pounced on him in a playful manner. 

The man leapt up without warning with wide eyes the size of dinner plates and held his hands up as if he was doing karate in a mode of self defence. Everybody in the room burst out laughing at his reaction, Chris (Evans) reaching for his left pec as he leant back on his knees in a full on belly laugh. “You looked like you were a 6 year old girl” Scarlett laughed out and shook her head towards the man, who was now grumbling as he sat back down on his spot with an abundance of blankets by his side. 

“All the snacks are gone” Anthony exclaimed to the cast, making Tom (Hiddleston) look up from the screen and ponder “well we could do something that doesn’t require food” he suggested, making everyone look at him to continue. 

“I mean, we could play hide and seek?”

“Oh!” You exclaimed excitedly, one of your first inputs of the night “I’d love to play hide and seek! My dad used to do it with me all the time!”

Your happy demeanour made them all smile as you began explaining how he would hide next to you while your brother tried to find both of you. “Well it’s settled then, we’re playing hide and seek!” Chris (Hemsworth) announced in his Australian accent, before you could be told twice, you jumped up and grabbed Sebastian's hand before racing out of the room, not even giving anybody a second glance. 

“Woah, where are we going?” Sebastian chuckled, following your rapid footsteps. “Don’t worry about this, Seb, I’ve the perfect hiding spot!” It was a little bit embarrassing to admit, but every time you entered a new place, you thought about the best hiding spots (in case of an unwarranted game of hide and seek). 

You pulled Sebastian into the costume room and shuffled awkwardly into the back. There, you found your masterful hiding place. It was a vent, but not a small one. It was big. Sebastian looked at you in surprise. “Not bad, Y/n.” 

You popped the cover right off, catching Sebastian off guard. “I unscrewed it back in February,” you explained and jumped inside. Sebastian seemed to want to question you further, but instead just shrugged to himself and followed you inside, closing the vent cover behind him.

“This really is the perfect place,” he mumbled, voice echoing slightly in the vents. It was pretty cold, but stable. “And hey, didn’t you say that your dad used to hide with you?” He asked while looking around the airy place. “Oh, um, yeah” you said sheepishly, just now remembering the moment in the other room. 

“Um- I-I mean, not that you’re my- Like, my dad-” you stammered, blushing at the awkward moment, “Like- My dad is my dad- You’re just- I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to make this awkward, I just-”

“Shut up!” Sebastian hissed suddenly. You looked at him, taken aback. He was staring out the vent covers, and then looked back at you with a grin. He pointed to it silently. Your brows furrowed, and you looked out. You saw Chris in the room, hand holding a flashlight while aiming it around the room, trying to find a sign of anybody. You held your breath. 

“I know you’re in here! I can smell your fear!” he yelled trying to act scary. Meanwhile, he just looked kind of goofy in his Disney princess pjs. You saw Sebastian beside you, trying not to laugh. His face was contorted into a forced frown, but a smile still crept up the corners of his mouth. Seeing his face, you started feeling the urge to laugh too. 

You both laughed silently, trying so hard to not give away your position to Chris. You were failing miserably. 

“I will find you!” Chris said again, and this time Sebastian let out a laugh, immediately clamping a hand over his mouth. His eyes widened and so did yours. Chris stopped moving, snapping his head around furiously. “Who was that? Where are you?” 

You saw the moment Sebastian decided to give up on hiding, as he just suddenly started laughing like a maniac. You did too, both of you clutching your stomachs. Chris scoffed and tore the vent cover off, revealing the two of you laughing uncontrollably. 

“Come on, guys, it wasn’t that funny!” Chris sighed, but he was wrong, it was definitely that funny. You guys went back to the movie room. Robert, Tom, Scarlett and Anthony had all already been found.

“Welcome to the losers!” Tom grumbled. You both sat down with him and chatted while waiting for the others to turn up. The next was Mark, who had been hiding under a table, and then Elizabeth who wasn’t even trying, but was somehow second last anyway. 

Then came the waiting game. Hemsworth, the biggest of you all, the goofiest, and seemingly the easiest to spot, was still at large. Chris was hopelessly searching, but came back every ten minutes with a more and more depressed look on his attractive face.

“I can’t find him!” he admitted finally. There was a collective sigh, and then everyone started searching together, simultaneously calling out “Chris! The aussie one!” Eventually you did find him, crammed behind a couch uncomfortably. 

When you finally did, Anthony (as well as several others) seemed to have only grown hungrier, and the need for snacks was larger than ever. “I swear to god if we don’t find food right now I may just quit the job” Anthony swore and huffed as he crossed both his arms over his chest. “That seems a bit dramatic but okay” Scarlett laughed as the ten of you rounded a corner in the building to only come face to face with an abundance of vending machines that everyone used at break and you all had seemingly forgotten about. “Woah” Tom said, impressed at the arrangement. 

“Food galore,” Elizabeth expressed and was the first one to walk towards, closer to the arrangement, leaving the rest of you by the wall with your jaws dropped. “If I’m sick, don’t blame it on me” you quietly expressed, making Mark laugh from his spot next to you. 

Trying not to seem too excited, Anthony ran forward, eyes following each and every item of edible food and drink. “I think you better hurry up” Tom commented from his spot the furthest from you, noticing the way Anthony and Chris were now eyeing your favourite type of chips. 

“Umm yeah, that sounds like a good idea”

You, Robert and Sebastian immediately went over to the vending machine that was holding doritos, lays, and other classic chips. “Um, about earlier,” you mumbled to the Romanian man as Robert began to shake the machine with force, hoping something would fall down “I didn’t mean it like that” your cheeks flooded with embarrassment as the memory came flashing back to you.

But before you could start apologising even more, he stopped you and sent a reassuring smile your way “don’t worry about it Y/N, I know what you meant.” He gave your shoulder a small squeeze, before going back to watching Robert yelling at the Doritos to “fall out, you big pussy!”

Before Chris (Evans) and Tom could come over to your side of the room to be responsible adults and make a rational decision, Chris (Hemsworth) had already come bounding over to you and kicked the glass where the chips were held behind. He put full force behind the kick, so it shattered and fell loudly with a crash to the ground. 

“Erm. Good idea?”

For no reason at all the situation was just funny to you, so while everyone in the room was stood still shocked (apart from Hemsworth who rocked back and forth on his feet sheepishly) you began to laugh. “What’s funny? You could literally cut your feet if you move!” Tom exclaimed with wide eyes, “you can’t get hurt we need to return you to your mom the same as we got you!”

Without warning Chris (Evans) ran over to you, making sure to carefully avoid the glass panes. “I’m not getting sued for this shit” he muttered as he picked you up and brought you over to a corner, which was a safe distance away from the wreckage.

“Alright, this has gotten out of hand,” Mark ran a hand through his hair, as he surveyed the broken glass on the floor in distress. Elizabeth nodded. You made eye contact with Scarlett and Anthony, who very clearly didn’t share the same concern that Mark and Elizabeth did. You all giggled quietly. 

“But uh, let’s take advantage of the situation, eh?” Chris (Hemsworth) pulled a couple bags of doritos out of the broken vending machine, “Free doritos?” He shook the bags playfully. There was a moment where people seemed to question whether they prioritized their dignity of the free doritos, and it’s fair to say that a large number of them chose the doritos. 

You all went back to the movie room, collapsing on your mattresses and blankets, with your snacks. But before any of you could begin to focus on the movie once again, a sudden gasp broke out from across the room. “He has the last bag of Doritos!”

“No I don’t” Hemsworth was quick to deny Elizabeth’s claim but everyone could see the full bag that he had attempted to stuff under his blanket. All of a sudden, Scarlett leapt out of her sleeping bag, trying to reach the chips before he did, but unfortunately all the gym workouts he had been going to (or yoga lessons you weren’t really sure) were paying off, as he held the woman at bay so he could grab the snack and hold it far out of her reach.

“Give it” she grunted and tried to reach past his grip and take the chips for herself, but before she had a chance, Chris (Evans) jumped up from his spot over by Tom and snatched the bag from him, holding a victorious grin on his face. Chris (Hemsworth) pouted angrily at his costar, not bothering to fight back as he knew it would be a losing battle (he was captain America for Christ’s sake). But you had a trick up your sleeve, you wanted those chips and you were going to get them whether it was the last thing you did.

Picking up the pillow beside you, you held it up as a shield as ran forward as fast as you could, taking in the confused expression Chris held in his face before you smashed into his stomach, knocking the air out of your lungs but unfortunately, not his.

He chuckled deeply as you smashed back into the wooden floors groaning as the pain surged through you. “I don’t think that worked as well as you thought it would” Mark commented from his comfortable spot on his mattress. 

“No, it really didn’t”

The movie ended, and slowly but surely people started going to bed. There were yawns and stretches around you all bundled together on the floor. You too found yourself growing tired, stuffing yourself into your sleeping bag and getting comfortable. 

“Goodnight!” you murmured and those who were awake mumbled it back drowsily. You distinctly heard Sebastian mutter back to you from his sleeping bag “shut up, I’m tired”. You chuckled for the last time that night, as soon sleep overcame you. 

Then, at the the buttcrack of dawn, a scream came from the nearest entrance: “WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK-” 

And that was the inspiring story of how body searches became a daily routine on set, so the Russos could make sure no one had gotten their grubby hands on an extra key.

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun @deephideoutmilkshake @rae-is-typing @sophs-library @herecomesthewriterwitch @alicedanganh @eviemarvel @idk123906 @tamayakii​