#like i DO want to be home for awhile
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As someone who loves Albert, I wish he could have been at the wedding.
As someone who regularly has to fly between Korea and the states, I do not blame him for skipping it.
#the incheon airport is a fucking disaster right now#the jetlag is an absolute bitch#flying out for anything less than a month is not fucking worth it#it could be my own mother getting married and i'd tell her to have fun and good luck#that shit is NOT worth it#random 911 thoughts#911 spoilers#ignore me#just thinking about albert#and also the fact that i am likely going to have to fly to the states again in a couple of months 😭#like i DO want to be home for awhile#i do NOT want to have to deal with the travel
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Steve and Eddie are sharing a joint, sitting in Steve's car. They're just talking about random shit, when Steve goes to apply chapstick. And that made him think about lipstick.
Steve likes lipstick. He voices this opinion. Likes the pop of color that draws the eyes. Likes how it emphasizes lips, makes them look even more kissable. Likes the marks they leave on the skin when kissing. It gets him all hot just thinking about the trail leading down and down-
And Eddie. Eddie just shrugs and returns to puffing on the joint they are sharing. Says he's never experienced it. Which, Steve thinks is criminal. Sure, Eddie is gay and it's the 1980s, but lipstick is just makeup and anyone should be able to wear makeup. I mean, Steve isn't shy to wearing lip gloss not that he advertises it.
So, Steve digs around his car, finds the lipstick that Robin left. He applies a thick layer to his lips, smacking them a few times. "I'll prove it, come here," Steve says leaning into Eddie's space.
And Eddie is wide eyed but agrees.
One kiss leads to two. Which leads to Steve pressing open mouthed kisses into Eddie's neck. Eddie moans and Steve whispers in his ear," I've wanted to do this for awhile,, you're so hot." Which leads to Eddie's shirt coming off. Leads to red lipstick trailing down Eddie's chest and down and down and
Yeah, Steve was right. Lipstick is hot.
#Steve is so smug about proving his point AND kissing Eddie meanwhile Eddie's brain is like leaking out of his ears#Steve has been trying to drop hints for months and Eddie has been oblivious#Eddie is going to go home and think Man Steve Really Likes Lipstick Ha Ha and meanwhile Steve is thinking Wow we kissed we're gonna date no#It clicks for Eddie a few days later and Eddie shows up at Steve's and is like “wait you said you've wanted to do that for awhile”#I could write more but my head is pounding and my cold medicine is kicking in and sleep is taking over#Steddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#eddie munson/steve harrington#Eddie Munson x Steve harrington#steve harrington/eddie munson#Jade is Talking
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Me: this one will be a slow burn I think
Eddie Diaz: no actually i need to tell him i love him immediately
#calm down sir#i was driving home thinking about how to continue the scene i just posted and was like well what if Eddie’s like.#we’re partners in every other way why not try romantically. haha. (so nervous he’s about to vomit)#you dont have to raise this kid alone because i didnt have to raise my kid alone. i had you.#and buck is like Eddie. Eddie……..#you have to know I love you but i dont know if i can do that right now#if I’m about to adopt a child-#i mean first i haven’t even been approved yet and I don’t know what a new relationship does to my chances#second everything’s going to a mess for awhile i dont want Us to immediately be put under so much pressure#and they;re just like :( at each other#and buck’s like is it awful to ask you to wait for me#and Eddie’s like of course not. of course i will.#and you’re still not going to be alone. I’ll be here for you however you want me.#and then they have to go back in to the dinner party and try to be normal! good luck!
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I know Moo and Kang are kind and forgiving and wonderful human beings. I’m not though. Shone is getting pushed right off thr cliff.
If you answer “not me” congrats on being a good person. You are so much better than I am. But also if you ever need a mean friend to deal with someone for you, congrats, I’m your friend now.
#only boo#only boo series#only boo the series#i guess i shouldnt call myself mean#i am a kind person who is super loyal and willing to be mean if a friend needs help#moo needs a mean friend cause i would have dealt with shone so bad he would be scared to flirt with anyone let alone kang#shone is a bro code violator and has committed the worst offense#because he was part of the reason kang broke up with moo in the first place#then he had the AUDACITY to tell moo well youve been broken up for a year why can’t i hit on him#like he didnt play a role in that breakup#can we please start giving Book characters that i like?#i really liked shone at first but now i just…off the cliff#i want to write so much about this ending but it took me awhile to process and now im busy and don’t have time#depending on how late i get home i might write out some thoughts#but i genuinely do not know when that will be
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how did my professor recommend me The Color of Outer Space
and I found the whole ass wrong book
its about a farm??? I was reading space travel what did I do
#makes more sense why prof was like yah know i hate the author but damn its a good spook#oh hp lovecraft#ill piss on your grave but also#i can like#relate to being terrified of the world but he handled it in the worst god damn way possible#the evil is not only in what you dont understand its in you to!! much better sorce of stories#my goal in life is to honestly do his shit better#which is setting myself up for failure#but like#cosmic horror is in us#its the fact we can do terrible things but other people Do Terrible tihngs and trying to understand Why is a worse abyss than any darkness#because no matter Why they are doing something Now#understanding can Possibly help the future pervent things#or just cause another horror#this is not well thought thoughts but a man annoyed his hands hurt and he cant draw#aaaa#also if you read this far#any movie recs?? i want spook but not home intrusion unless its like- cartoony?? does that make sense?? or like Really Dramatic not possibl#not like Hush#is that the name?? she can't talk... or she can't hear??fuck i watched it awhile ago#i liked it alot but i also am jumpy enough so dont need help with That rn#i havent seen most#maybe i should just watch carrie
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coil ch
edit: tumblr stole half of my tags so i put a bad version of the second half of what i was trying to say in my notes :( sorry
#magic and mystery#m&m coil#this one was actually sweet tho#kinda mad that lockhart's getting any credit at all but what can ya do#i think i would be more destroyed if blaise actually killed him#hhow tf did he actually find the chamber tho???#like what could make you guess there???#i hope that gets answered#cant remember how he found out in the hp books either#think he followed them????? maybe???#but he took too long to have followed them in coil i think.. so idk#but it was an incredibly sweet ending#and i like that we got to see ginny's love for chaos form#if allegory writes another year then that year will be insane#especially w/ percy and pansy now in the gang too ??!!#man the gang is going#and again i predicted since early coil that by the end of coil pansy would join the gang#i believed in her#dad snape is back again and thank god too#obviously the pm is gonna mess w/ their relationship#but yk#him getting his name cleared and not being able to do anything abt it im happy but worried abt him going home#how are they even gonna end the year off??? will snape pomfrey and mcgonagall rlly let him go home#theyre gonna have too right??#also the diary is still in play and im concerned#but for now we have a ch ending on a nice note#ALSO I FINALLY GOT MY BLAISE POV ID BEEN CALLING FOR AWHILE NOW#surprised it took this long and that it didnt address things i thought it would#it was good and it made since for him to be thinking like that in the moment#but i rlly want him to atleast address pansy's arm getting broken eventually
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[What Could Have Been]
After the unfortunate reveal of what kind of person Wilbursoot was, I was unsure whether or not to post this, but I've decided to. Here is my outline for the beginning of a fanfic I was writing...
Note: Everything under the cut was written before Wilbur was exposed for being an abuser, as well as some of the tags
A Modern-Vampire!AU involving SBI and a few other people.
Techno is an aspiring writer that recently moved into a very... low quality aparment. He's taken note of the number of bats that fly around the neighborhood and has developed a habit many people in his apartment complex have; feeding fruit to the bats that hang out around his place.
The place is pretty chill. Techno works at this nice Café. (Whether it's Niki's or not is up to you.) He's developed a small rivalry with this random kid who pesters him for food all the time. Techno usually shares his lunch with the kid. (Techno admits the kid is pretty cute with his squid themed. backpack and hoodie)
Anyway, Techno is doing well, he's adjusting to the neighborhood, his boss is pretty nice, and he even has the free time to write his second novel now.
Time passes and Techno has fully adjusted to the place, getting comfortable until... Tommy shows up! Tommy is a fledgling vampire who recently was given the freedom of going out. (As long as one of the other coven members are with him.)
One day while out, Tommy gets distracted and wanders off, loseing his caretaker of the night. This leads to Tommy getting lost and ariving at an old apartment complex. The place has bat boxes and Tommy prepares to spend the day in one to hide from the sun.
While trying to hide from the sun in his bat form, Tommy finds this weird guy with shitty pink hair who's been trying to lure him inside with grapes. (Techno sees a small pup without it's mother desperately hiding in his very old and falling apart bat box.)
Eventually Techno gets the pup inside, wrapping him up in a soft baby blanket and putting him in a shoe box with a warming pad.
Tommy is scared and confused by the actions of this random human... but he quite likes the warm box he's been put in... it's not his fault if he fell asleep!
Across the city is a frantic Wilbur trying to find his missing brother who disappeared after he looked away for a second! Okay, maybe he was staring at that pretty human running the nearby record store but Tommy had been right there beside him!
Wilbur and the rest of the coven desperately searches for Tommy before being forced to take refuge from the sun indoors.
I'm unsure of what happens next but Tommy eventually makes his way back and is promptly grounded and forced to stay indoors. The only problem is that... Tommy has imprinted on Techno during his time with him and begins sneaking out to hang out with Techno. (Techno is relieved that the little bat he helped was doing well!)
#technoblade#bedrock bros#sbi#sbi fanfic#vampire au#modern au#wilbur is a worried older brother#techno just wants to write his book and vibe with the little bat that keeps showing up on his balcony#tommy 'run away from home to eat fruit with weird man' innit#phil is a old man who cant handle the stress of his kids going missing#kristin absolutely knows where tommy is going and fins it amusing after awhile#if she even exists#squid kid is a gremlin that always eats techno's potato wedges.#philza#tommyinnit#wilbur soot#i actually like this#i may or may not write a fanfic for this au#what could have been#i might still try writing this#i had chapter one half way complete#correction: wilbur *was* a worried older brother#i could try replacing wilbur with someone#like tubbo#or ranboo#I REALLY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING FUN WITH SQUIDKID AND TECHNO#THEY COULD HAVE BEEN BROTHERS#squid kid : turned into literal child
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when i was a little kid i would look at spaces in video games and just was like. wow i wish i could live there instead of in my house. and i still do this like when im playing l4d and i get to a real quiet area i will just chill there and im like. oh yah i could totally live here.
#did this with portal too lol#when i was homeless and i begged my pops to convince his roommate to let me chill in his apartment for awhile i was like#I CAN LIVE IN THE CLOSET ....#i do love my apartment now ... i love my home. dont feel that way for reals anymore#but i do think im preddy survivable tbh im like. yeah this 4 x 4 space i culd live in this for awhile#but now i dont have to be anymore ^_^#sometimes i look at my bedroom in my apartment and im like.... wow ... for a long time a space this size was my world#now i have a home ... a kitchen that is all mine to use .... i can go out whenever i want and not ask no one ... i can do anything its craz
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#i saw the tv glow made me realize i want to start binding#kind of. it made me look inwards and realize i have so much dysphoria and i want to do something about it#i havent thought about any kind of physical transition in quite awhile#bcuz it can be difficult or take money and i thought i didnt have enough dysphoria to warrant it#but now im kind of realizing i have a shit ton of dysphoria and i want to do something about it#i want to take actions to make my body a home that i can feel safe and comfortable in#fuck that movie for making me do inner reflection and realizing that i dont feel right and want to take steps to change that#not sure what the long term goals are tbh. or if there will be any. but binding feels like a good start#dont watch i saw the tv glow unless you want to reevaluate yourself in uncomfortable ways#(thats a glowing recommendation btw)#this post is kind of nonsensical i think. i dont make sense generally but especially now#idk dont pay attention to me im just fairly excited at the prospect of binding thats the main point#just need to measure my chest tonight and order the binder!
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quick dreamsnso i can find them later
#eating pine branches at grandmas.#lived next door.#renting.#pine branches were really tasty and chewy like ... soupy tootsie rolls?#tried to sneak up on sister#while holding a plastic bag#found. she thought i was soemthing worse. also had been followed by crows for awhile#went back home. grandparents mom and uncles gave me 21 cents and advice on how to have a good birthday on the dime#played sonic the hedgehog with mom except ive never played sonic before in my life so it definitely wasnt that#more like animal crossing with an explore / battle mode?#and you could only pick from 3 characters#mom played with me. i was surprised.#. next dream#exploring a minecraft like world. big mansion#somehow end up in hell#i fall down and loose my exit. have to fight invisible ghasts and monsters until i can explore and find a way back#find a way back. no tools. hard to find resources to make a pickaxe in this mansion.#im with a bunch of people and mocked for not being able to find twigs#someone destroys a chair and hands me a bundle of twigs#i know the next step is to go punch a tree but all the trees growing here are pretty and i dont want to#later theres some ceremony. funeral maybe but with more religious undertones?#i have to wear a dress#and am handed heavy dangly earrings to wear#after i mourn and gather myself. some sort of special symbolism.#i take longer to mourn than the crowd of others would like#wearing the earrings themselves feels like tremendous grief to me. the weight of doing something I Am Not.#then they ask me to put on eyeshadow too#all of this in a very feminine way mind you#i tear tf out of there and flee#i run into more people in the hallway. somehow this place ends up being the church i grew up in
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I kind of just want to settle in one place for awhile. I don't really have to keep going from place to place, but I want to spend time with everyone but the people I want to spend time with never spend time with each other
#I like staying at codys and at diannas#but I kind of want to go home and just stay there#I should ask chloe if she's doing okay sometime#go over for awhile and collect some things I need#it's been almost 2 months now#it feels like every else has a different schedule than me
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I wonder how trackers relationship with jawbone is. It must be hard to live and love someone who loves and supports your ex after you break up
#like that is kinda fucked up#not that she wants kristen kicked out in reality but knowing that every time you want to go home and maybe had a rough day or a fight#with your new gf you would have to see your ex#and like im sure itll be fine after awhile but like in the moment i wonder how jawbone and her are doing#not to mention kristen soon after the breakup is probably like hm. do i have an exit plan
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we got bacl from grammie's wake. it was surprisingly pleasant despite how sad we were
#i gotta hand it to the funeral home--she really looked like she was asleep#mickey.txt#despite well. the occasion#it was a surprisingly pleasant get together#a lot of her old coworkers from when she worked at the supermarket were there#and i got to see my stepcousins i haven't seen since before covid#and it took my niece about an hour to get fidgety and antsy#which is an impressive for an 8 year old tbh#it was funny after awhile whenever the mood got really low my mom was like 'okay kid--do a cartwheel'#because my niece LOVES cartwheels and there was so much space for cartwheels#it was fun lol#just what grammie loved honestly; everyone sitting and shooting the shit#and the grandbaby/ies being cute#ngl everytime my niece did a cartwheel or jiggled the fidget toy i lent her#i had an instinctual gut reaction of 'SHH NOOO YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP GRAMMIE'#i miss her already. i never got to bond with her the way i would've liked to#but she was a lovely grandma. the type that always fussed over everyone#'did you want anything sweetie?' 'jen you want help in the kitchen?' 'want me to do anything?' type of grandma lol#she was a worry wort but very sweet. growing up she always sewed us coats and dresses and blankets#she taught me how to knit; like 80% of my knitting stuff used to be hers#she gave me a whole carpet bag of knitting gear and yarn when i was like 14/15#she taught me card tricks when i was kid. she used loved brushing my hair but she used#her old lady metal brush that hurt lol#she used to take us to the library#and she used to take us to the movies a lot as kids but she'd take us to a convenience store first to buy our candy#and as kids we thought that was the coolest most badass thing in the world#growing up we used to spend a weekend at her house once every few months#and on sundays she'd take us to her mom's apartment to organize her pills and stuff#idk. im glad she was in my life but i miss her already. at least now she's with her mom and brother 💕
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got home & immediately took two ibuprofen (massive throbbing headache) three tums (electrolyte water gave me heartburn) iron supplement melatonin multivitamin (normal dailies) strong cough drop (screaming) & started blasting the ac
#i want my head to stop hurting so i can go to bed. i feel awful#this is what i get for not drinking any water & being in a loud & smoky building for almost six hours#i left all my stuff at work & didn’t feel like going back for it before i went home so i don’t even have my water bottle or anything :(#just this $6 dasani i’m reusing that isn’t gonna be enough water for the night HAHA#ugh. ok. time to lay still in the dark#chatpost#i got in the habit of taking all my vitamins right before bed#i used to do it first thing in the morning but after awhile i realized it was making me feel sick to do that#and i am not consistent enough to do them at any other time
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#tw animal death#tommy is being put down#he's had something wrong with his mouth so weve been mixing can food w warm water for like two years#we cant afford to take him to the vet. its over $2000 at least for a dental and we just cant afford it#and hes been losing weight and eating less and less and weve known for awhile that hes declining#so mom got animal control to take him in as a feral hoping they cpuld help him that way#and we knew there was a chance they wouldnt be able to and would have tl put him down#but the vet said she would dl it. and we found out we could go vosit him so we were gonna do that today#and a lady called right before we wete headinv out to come see him and said. the vet is going on a month leave and no onr rlse will fo it#so hes gonns be put down#so hes been dtuck in that cage all alone for 10 days. and he hates being inside and apparently he hasnt been eating and just hissing at ever#everyone. and he was so scared when we walked in but when he realized who i was started purring and climbing all over me#and being so loving and happy and immediately wanted to eat agakn amd just#i had to leave him there. all alone. to fucking die#vent#i dont want him to go i want him to come home with me hes my boy
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mothers really know how to make you dysphoric in a very specific way
#man i havent been this bothered in Awhile …. dies#i love summer but it is also just hell for trans ppl#guess Im just spooked bc she went through my messages yesterday which is not something she usually does#and that is. an enormous trigger for me#at least now I have the power of saying im 18 im an adult now and you cannot do that to me anymore#man. it just really hurts bc usually i feel happy I feel safe at home#but then something like this happens and i realize just how much I keep secret from them#man i want to leave here but also id die if I did. i don’t have anything.and it’s not like I want to leave badly all the time#90% of the time everythings fine …#hgghhghg .life is too complicated#vent#kat post
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