#i used to do it first thing in the morning but after awhile i realized it was making me feel sick to do that

[mildmayfoxe]

got home & immediately took two ibuprofen (massive throbbing headache) three tums (electrolyte water gave me heartburn) iron supplement melatonin multivitamin (normal dailies) strong cough drop (screaming) & started blasting the ac

[henry7931]

I Don’t Want To Go Back

Bradley:

I’m sitting in the doctor’s office and I feel butterflies in my stomach. All I can is look down at my legs and feet— well I guess Luke’s legs and feet. They are his in the first place but I now control them.

I’m waiting on a response from the doctor who’s helping my big brother Luke and I with our situation. He’s with Luke right now in the other room who’s in my body.

From what I can understand, one of us gave the other some kind of sick that caused everything. All I know is that, one night I went to bed as me and the next morning I woke up as Luke.

That night, Luke was doing his workout when I walked in to his room. I was trying to ask him if he could help me out something.

“What do you want twerp? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“Suh—sorry Luke! I just wanted to get some help with—”

Before I could even ask him anything he got all angry with me and pushed me out of his room.

Then the next morning happened…

I remember waking up and feeling strange, but it wasn’t until I sat up and saw Luke’s big feet and hairy legs that I knew I wasn’t myself.

The next thing I noticed was Luke’s morning wood, i learned quickly that morning that he does not go to bed in PJs.

I looked down at the hard wiener amazed by its size, I touched it and it sent sparks through me.

It took me a second to fully focus but I eventually got up and went to the bathroom.

That’s where I realized that I am now my brother Luke. 

Seeing Luke’s reflection in the mirror made me feel nervous and excited. I had so many questions.

But then I felt something for the first time, confident! I feel so confident in this body.

I stood in front of that mirror for awhile until I heard a loud voice hollering.

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!”

I peak out of the bathroom door and saw my body rushing down the hallway angry.

But the second we made eye contact, he froze in one spot.

“Bradley… is that… are you me?,” he said to me.

“Yeah it’s me, are you Luke?” I asked him back.

I thought he was going to be nice to me for a second but nope!

Like charged down the hall and almost like he was going to lunge for me. Before he could get to the door, I quickly shut it which caused him to crash into it.

A locked the door, scared of what he was going to do. Then I remembered something, I’m the one with all of the strength now! I opened up the door and Luke was on the ground still trying to get back up.

“You little shit! You did this! I don’t know how but you did this!” he said to me.

All of the sudden, my dad came out of his room.

“Boys! What’s going on here?”

“Your son over here took my body!” said Luke.

“I didn’t take it Luke! I promise!! I’m just as confused as you,” I said crossing my now bigger arms.

“Can someone clue me in on what’s going on? And Luke can you please get some clothes on!”said my dad.

We sat down with him after I put on a pair of pants and explained what happened that morning.

He didn’t believe us at first but after a call with a speciality doctor, my dad’s eyes got wide and then he hung up.

“Boys, I’ve some good news and bad news.”

“What’s the good news?” said Luke.

“Well this is a rare situation to happen but you’re not the first ones ever. And you’re both physically fine other than uh… well.”

“Come on dad! What did they say? Are we stuck like this?”

“Well they want to run some test but that won’t happen until next week.”

“NEXT WEEK?!? BUT I GO ON MY BEACH TRIP NEXT WEEK!!”

“I’m sorry but you have to cancel Luke!”

“Fuuuuuuckkk this! I’m going upstairs!”

Luke stormed away from the table while I stayed back.

“Sorry bud that’s he’s so upset, you know it’s not directed at you right?”

“I guess so,” I said back.

“Do me a favor for right now, just stay clear of him for right now.”

“I promise I will!”

The next few days changed me a lot. It started out with Luke and I having to switch out all of our stuff. My dad wanted us to at least pretend to be each other for the time being so I got Luke’s room, clothes, even his cellphone (which made him the most mad).

I even learned a lot as well. Like how to work out, what being a 19 year old is like, my dad’s started to teach how to drive.

But what I find interesting is all of the things i like about my new self.

Like my new feet! I love the way they look, my dirty socks, the way they smell after a long workout— it makes me so hard!

I’ll take pictures of them and even put my face into them after a long day!

I also love my muscles! I feel so powerful with them!! Even my friends are into them.

Well once again, technically Luke’s friends. Specifically Seth, who I talk to everyday. We go back and forth sending pictures of ourselves. I think he likes me, a lot! I like him too, a lot lol.

He even told me last night.

Texts:

Seth: Dude, I wish you told me how you feel. I would have made a move a long time ago. But if you want to keep this on the DL, I’m cool with that. But as long as we have our fun on the beach trip.

Bradley: We are going to ALOT of fun on the trip I promise!

Seth: Well could you send me a little teaser? Maybe a body pic 😈

Bradley:

Seth: Hot!!🥵

Bradley: Do you like feet?

Seth: …

Seth: If I have to be honest, I’d never tell anyone else this but yes. I do indeed have a foot fetish.

Bradley: I took this one earlier 😎

Seth: Well since you’re showing off 😛

Bradley: You have really nice feet!

Seth: Oh do I? I’ll let you do anything with them on the trip.

Reading that text from Seth made me instantly hard!

I talked to him for a while and this morning but I’m so nervous to find out what’s going to happen!

Are they going to give me something that will put Luke and I back in our bodies? I can’t go to my body, not before I go on my trip with Seth!!

A knock was at the door.

“Bradley, can I come in?”

The doctor came in and I felt like I was about to puke!

“Hey, sorry that took a little bit. Your brother doesn’t seem that happy. How are you with all of this?”

“Me? Oh I’m good, just an adjustment.”

“Well you seem to be taking it better. You know this is very rare. Unfortunately, this is something so new even to us. I wish I could tell you things are going to be back to normal soon but…”

“Wait, are you saying this is forever?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say forever. I guess I’ll just go ahead and say it. This is a lab made disease that somehow got to either you or your brother. We don’t have a cure for it at this moment. So I’d highly advise you, your brother, and your father to try and make this your new normal for the time being.”

“Oh wow! I can’t believe it!”

“So you’re good to go—”

I hopped up and immediately went for the door. As I walk out, I see Luke with his head turned down.

“Hey, you okay?”

“No…”

“Well cheer up! That body isn’t so bad,” I say messing up my former hair.

“ Easy for you to say!”

“I’m sorry Luke but we are gong to have to accept this for now. Sides, I’ll be a good big brother to you. I promise.”

Luke looked up at me and for the first time in a while he had the tiniest smile.

Two Days Later:

“Flex on em Luke,” says Seth as he takes a picture of me.

I walk up to him and say, “You have the bigger muscles why don’t you show them off.”

He grins and says, “I only show them off for you.”

“Hey do you wanna sneak up real quick while none of the other boys notice?”

“I thought you would never ask!”

We run up the stairs and as soon as we’re out of eyesight Seth pulls me in and kisses me.

“Come on inside Luke, I’ll let you play with these piggies,” he says wiggling his toes in my face.

“Can you do that thing you did last night with them?”

“You want another foot job?”

“Yep!”

“Oh boy! You’re lucky you’re so cute!”

[quin-ns]

The blue (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Series summary: JJ has a secret, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold onto it. He discovers his breaking point when his best friend starts to show interest in you, his step sister, who he’s already fallen hard for

Series tags: step brother!jj, dual pov, jealousy, one sided john b x reader, drinking, inappropriate relationship, public sex, oral sex (f receiving)

A/N: first series I’ve finished and I could not be more excited to share! please read the tags and if the subject matter is uncomfortable to you, you do not have to read. this one is a wild ride guys, I can’t wait for you to see what I have in store 🫶

Series masterlist + OBX masterlist

JJ didn’t really understand how this happened, but it did. When he tried to trace it all back, there wasn’t really one big moment. Just a bunch of small individual moments that amounted to… this. This feeling. This thing that kept him up at night that he couldn’t seem to get rid of.

He’d never been in love before, so it took JJ awhile to realize that’s what he felt for you.

Or maybe it was the denial. The moral part of his brain telling him it wasn’t normal. Your mom was married to his dad, so according to everyone else’s rules that made you his sister—even if he didn’t think about you in that context anymore.

He used to, when you both were younger. But that was before your mom got arrested. A large part of why JJ was so happy when you came into his life was because his dad eased up on him, finding some semblance of happiness with your mom.

But she wasn’t exactly perfect. To be with his dad, JJ always wondered what was wrong. As it would turn out, she had serious issues. Although, what they got her for was being a tax cheat. It added up how they could’ve met after that.

It was getting to be around… what, a little over a year since that happened? JJ couldn’t really keep track of the months and you never liked to talk about it.

As much as JJ loved his father, he knew he wasn’t a good guy. It didn’t matter if he wanted him to be. So it surprised him when his dad still let you stay with them. You’d been around since you were both about thirteen, so even if his dad didn’t think of himself as responsible for you (or even JJ), he at least cared enough to not throw you to the street.

That was about the same JJ got from him. Recognizing that is what brought you closer to him.

Sure, you’d been sort of close growing up, but not really. You mostly spent time with your mom and your own friends. Then, when everything went down, you lost your mom and your friends followed not long after. He saw the puffiness in your eyes when you’d come home and go to your room for the whole night. No one to hang out with after school and nowhere to go on a Saturday night. They had ditched you, apparently deciding that mocking you was more important than being there for you. It made his stomach hurt to see you in such a state. You didn’t smile for days.

So JJ, being the good step brother that he was, stepped in. He took you under his wing and brought your smile back.

You fit in well with his friends, easily becoming a part of the group. They liked having you around. JJ felt like he got to know you in a way he hadn’t ever before.

It was selfish, but you made being at home easier. You kept him company when he stayed up too late and made sure to wake him up in the morning so he wouldn’t be late to work whatever odd job he had at the time.

Whenever his dad hit him, which started again not long after your mom was locked up, you were there to take care of him.

You were so sweet with him. Your eyes always full of care and touches gentle as you cleaned his cuts or iced his bruises. It made it hurt less.

After one night when his dad hit him extra hard, leaving a cut from one of his rings on JJ’s face, you came to his aid as you frequently did. His dad stormed out after. It was just the two of you as you cleaned his face. You had him sit on the couch and stood over him, one hand holding his face while the other held a cloth to make sure the cut was clean.

As JJ stared up at you, your frustrated words about his father falling on deaf ears, one jarring thought crossed his mind.

You should kiss her.

He’d immediately stood up, snapping himself out of whatever daze he was in, and went to his room. You’d tried to talk to him, but he brushed you off and said he was tired. When he asked to be left alone, which was rare, you did.

He didn’t sleep most of the night. Instead he stared up at his ceiling wondering where that thought had even come from. He’d never had it before. From that moment on, JJ started to become much more aware of everything you did—everything you did for him.

Of course his friends loved him and cared about him, and he did the same for them, but with you something about it just felt different. You were by his side nearly every moment of the day. You saw things they didn’t. You were there when they couldn’t be.

You became everything to JJ. There was no other way to put it.

That was a couple months ago. Since then his confusing feelings had morphed into something far more.

JJ was deeply, madly in love with you. It was not something a guy should be with his step sister, but he was. He didn’t really deal with it, just shoved it down and tried to ignore it. It was hard, especially when he was around you every single day, but JJ had done his best.

JJ would catch himself staring at you more than he’d admit, but no one seemed to notice. No one would suspect what he was thinking anyway. He made excuses to touch you, like a hand on your back when moving past you to get something or draping his arm over your shoulder and leaning on you jokingly. The latter made you laugh, and he’d join you, but he’d still feel a loss when you playfully nudged him away and told him you weren’t an armrest.

Sometimes, when he didn’t care how pathetic it was, he’d let himself drink too much just so he could lean on you when you’d help him inside. When he pulled that stunt, he’d often get lucky and you’d even stay by his side to make sure he went to sleep comfortably. And of course whenever his dad struck, fists full of misplaced rage, you were there easing the pain.

JJ resolved to take what he could get and told himself he’d eventually he’d move on.

At least he hoped that’s how it would go. Maybe he’d get lucky and—

“Hello?” You waved a hand in front of JJ’s face. “I’m talking to you.”

JJ blinked. He looked at you, zoning back in. In an instant he remembered what was going on. You and him, along with his three best friends, were all on the beach. The others were in the water, while you had been sunbathing on shore and JJ… well, he’d just been sitting by you, wanting to be in your proximity (and sometimes steal glances when he couldn’t help himself).

But now you were on your feet, leaning down as you dropped your hand. JJ’s eyes fell from your face to your chest. He swallowed when he caught a glimpse down your bikini top.

His eyes flicked back to your face. Was that too obvious? He hoped not.

“Sorry, what?”

You gave him a confused look, but laughed and straightened up.

“Do you wanna get in?”

He knew you meant the water. In the distance he saw his friends waving for the two of you to join them.

JJ shook his head. The action felt as if it were in slow motion. Kind of like when he was high, but much less carefree.

“Um, maybe in a bit.”

If he got too distracted he’d probably drown in the ocean. That is if the guilt of keeping his secret from you didn’t do it first.

You shrugged, not able to read him the way you usually could.

“If you’re scared, there might be some floaties somewhere,” you teased as you turned your back, heading for the water.

JJ couldn’t formulate a comeback, too focused on the swing on your hips as you walked away from him.

He squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed again, questioning his own self what was wrong with him. He’s never experienced such a desperate feeling before. What were you doing to him?

When he opened his eyes, you were in the water, and he had no answers.

He tried to focus on the sand, the water, the sky. Basically anything but you. He even tried to look at Kiara just to see if it would work, but his eyes always drifted back to you. The ache in his chest grew with each passing minute.

JJ didn’t think much of it when he saw Kiara suddenly haul herself up onto Pope’s shoulders, but he felt like he got kicked in the stomach when you climbed onto John B’s.

John B’s arms locked around your legs, the two of you laughing loudly as you steadied yourself. JJ could hear it from shore. You weren’t that far out. JJ knew he was focusing far more than necessary because he saw the way your hands brushed John B’s hair out of his face as he tilted his head back to look up at you.

Even from where he was, JJ could see how you smiled down at John B. It was innocent and friendly, and it made him incredibly jealous.

You and Kiara started to go at it, trying to knock the other into the water.

JJ didn’t think anyone noticed when he stood and walked down to the edge of the sand.

“You’re going down!” Kiara shouted, her hands interlocked with and pushing against yours as you both refused to budge.

You laughed loudly. It was like music.

It took one exchanged look from you and John B to formulate a plan. It was the kind of silent communication that JJ thought you reserved for him.

You let Kiara lean a lot of weight on you, and that’s where your advantage was. In an instant you relaxed your grip and John B stepped to the side. The other girl, and Pope beneath her, wobbled. It was over in a second. The two shouted right before they crashed down into the water.

“Ha!” you exclaimed, raising your hands in the air while John B whooped and hollered in celebration.

Kiara and Pope emerged, both rolling their eyes. It was their turn to share a look. As JJ waded into the water he figured out their plan.

With the two of them jumping at John B, it was easy to knock him off his feet. JJ’s eyes went a little wide when you fell into the water with a crash.

“Did you see that?” Kiara yelled with a grin when she spotted JJ.

“Kinda hard to miss,” he responded, looking around the water. It had been a few seconds and you had yet to reappear.

“They’re just messing with us,” Pope commented on your and John B’s absence, but his words started to sound less sure by the end.

Another long beat of silence passed. The waves grew still.

“This isn’t funny anymore!” Kie shouted.

JJ felt a twinge of panic, awful scenarios flashing through his head. It didn’t matter how unlikely they were.

Suddenly, water erupted. John B arose with a splash, you clinging to his back. He roared dramatically while shoving water towards Kie and Pope. They screamed as the waves hit them, trying and failing to shield themselves.

“Revenge!” you yelled in a maniacal manner, chin on John B’s shoulder.

“Truce! Truce!” Kie and Pope both yelled, spitting out saltwater.

John B paused, and JJ noticed how close his face was to yours when he turned his head.

“Should we forgive them?” John B deferred to you.

You hummed thoughtfully. “I think they learned their lesson,” you decided. Your gaze, which had been focused on John B, shifted past him. “Hey, look who made it!”

JJ realized you were talking to him. He forced a smile, smothering the jealousy he felt at seeing you and John B in the position you were in. It seemed weirdly close for you two. You and John B weren’t usually touchy-feely-piggyback-ride friends.

John B seemed to pick up on JJ’s shift in demeanor, because his smile was a little more contained as he said, “Hey, man.”

JJ figured his friend didn’t get that he was jealous, which was for the best. Everyone knew JJ was protective over you. John B probably thought JJ was questioning his intentions as your brother. Why would it be anything else?

��Nice victory,” JJ replied, having nothing better to say. He didn’t even grit his teeth, so he counted that as a win for himself.

Tension eased as you all decided to just chat and relax in the water until the sun set.

Although, JJ kept an eye on John B, noticing how his friend kept an eye on you.

When it got dark you all began to head back to the shore. JJ found himself at your side as he usually did. Your steps fell in line with his as you looked up.

“You feeling okay?” you asked lightly. You must’ve sensed his attitude shift, even if it was subtle. “You’ve been quieter than usual.”

JJ couldn’t help the urge to smile at how well you knew him.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he lied, not wanting to concern you. He liked when you worried about him, but this was the one time when he didn’t want you pressing for him to open up. “Are you?”

JJ reached to ruffle your damp hair. You swatted his hand away before he could do any real damage.

“Very funny,” you grumbled. Your expression shifted to a smile, then softened. There was something careful about it. “If something was up, you’d tell me, right?”

JJ swallowed, trying to avoid the way your eyes searched his. He had to look forward before he could answer.

“Yeah, of course,” he assured.

JJ didn’t remember falling asleep on the couch, but he remembered everyone sitting around the living room.

Wait, no. That wasn’t right.

The porch. Everyone has been sitting on the porch, drinking and laughing together. He recalled cramming himself into a chair next to you. He’d played it off like a joke. Everyone had laughed, and he got to be close to you, so it worked out.

He also remembered following Kiara and Pope inside, expecting you to be behind him.

Everything clicked.

You and John B had elected to stay outside. JJ had been sitting on the couch, watching through the window, trying to make out what you were saying through the small opening where the window was cracked for the nighttime breeze.

He must’ve dozed off while waiting for you. That didn’t sound like him—he would’ve been focused on watching you, making sure you made it in. Maybe he had been worn out or you stayed up way too late, or both.

JJ blinked a few times. He was just concerned for your safety, like always. Fenced in porches with lights and his best friend keeping you company could be dangerous…

Yeah, he didn’t even buy that.

It was easier back when JJ believed his own lies and self justifications.

Sitting up, JJ peered out the window. It was the early hours of the morning, right around when it was still dark but you could just tell the sun was about to begin rising. His heart sped up when he found you missing from your chair. You weren’t in any of the other chairs in his view, either.

JJ stood up, feeling more awake than ever. He went right for the door and didn’t care about waking anyone inside up.

“Jeez, man,” John B said suddenly, sounding surprised as he looked at him. JJ had just barged out onto the porch out of nowhere, after all. “You good?”

JJ took a second to observe his friend. He was half-sitting and half-laying back on the couch against the wall. It made sense because he’d been sitting there before. From inside, JJ couldn’t see him, but he didn’t even think about John B’s whereabouts until he stepped out.

Maybe he was a bad friend for that.

He didn’t feel that guilty, though, because he saw where you were. You were curled up on the couch on your side, your head on John B’s thigh. JJ could see how steadily you were breathing, your eyes shut.

JJ looked back at his friend, ready to lash out, but the word ‘irrational’ popped up in his mind and resisted. The scene in front of him didn’t give him anything to be mad about.

Jealous, maybe, but not mad. But he couldn’t act on that feeling either. If he acted jealous, that would invite too many questions that JJ didn’t have a good answer for.

“Fine just…” He ran a hand through his hair and then shook his head. “You guys good?”

John B furrowed his brows a little, but chuckled.

“Yeah, we’re fine. We were just talking and she started to fall asleep and I just let her. She seemed tired and it wasn’t a big deal so...”

“What were you guys talking about?”

“I don’t know, stuff?”

JJ leaned back in the doorway. “Like what, though?”

John B tilted his head a little, shaking it ever so slightly.

“Just… life and stuff. Does it matter?”

“I guess not,” JJ replied, giving the appropriate answer. He looked down at you, noticing you hadn’t stirred. You looked comfortable, and that was very conflicting. All of this was. It made his head hurt. “Has she been asleep long?”

John B met JJ’s eyes when he looked back up from you.

“You sure you’re okay?” John B asked, sounding almost concerned. Or at least confused. Maybe both.

But the answer was no. No he wasn’t.

“Yeah, man,” JJ answered with a shrug. “She probably won’t wake up if you wanna get up and go get some sleep.”

John B looked down at you, then at JJ.

He slowly started to move, being extra careful with your head, making sure to put a cushion beneath you before standing up straight.

John B gave a light, awkward smile to JJ as he neared him. He brushed past to go through the door, turning to face JJ.

“You coming?”

“Actually, I think I’m gonna sleep out here,” JJ answered, fighting the urge to look at you. He gave a shrug instead and said, “It’s nice out and I can’t get comfortable on the couch anyway. You can have it—plus I think Kie’s in your bed, so…”

“Right…” John B agreed slowly, glancing at you on the couch again. “You know nothing happened, right?” He looked back at JJ. “We were just talking.”

JJ wasn’t expecting something so direct. “It’s cool man, I know,” he found himself replying. “We’re good.”

John B nodded, albeit slowly. He entered the dark house and JJ shut the door behind him. As a courtesy.

He then turned, spotted the comfiest chair, and resolved to sleep in that for the night. You had stretched out on the couch and looked too peaceful to disturb, even if he did want to take John B’s place from before.

It worked out perfectly. It gave him a clear view of you as he decided to let himself go back to sleep.

As his eyes closed, he wondered if John B would peek through the window just as he had.

If he did, he’d see the content smile on JJ’s face as he drifted off to sleep. For yet another night, JJ got you all to himself. He didn’t want it any other way. He wasn’t sure what he would do.

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Cash Slave, reporting in...

Good morning, master. State Trooper Hernandez reporting!

I hope you're doing well since the last time we saw each other. Again, I can't apologize enough for pulling you over on the highway. I had no idea you were such an amazing hypnotist. Thank you again for letting me get off easy and only making me taze myself twice! I was paralyzed in that muddy ditch for awhile, but you could've given me a helluva worse punishment!

Your instructions aren't negotiable, so I made sure to snap a photo before I started my shift today. As you suggested, I've been eating a box of donuts every morning, and I've packed on a hefty 30 lbs since I've started. My wife has complained, but I know you want me to look more like a cliche of law enforcement!

I'll stop by your house to drop off my paycheck tonight after work. I won't forget to pick up some pizza for you and your friends on the way: extra sausage, just like you said!

See you tonight, master!

Hello sir.

It's been a week since you came into my shop, and I've followed everything you said. I didn't agree with it at first, but you convinced me with that little pendant.

You were right! I really am beneath powerful men like you. Filthy blue-collar workers aren't worthy to lick the dirt off your shoes. You were right to point that out, and you were right to tell me to embrace it. When the world looks at me, they shouldn't see a man. They should see a grease monkey at the bottom of society.

That's why I haven't showered or changed in seven days. My BO is uncomfortable to work in, but I know it's just a reminder of what I am. I used to be proud of my job. Ha! I used to look down on suits like you, but I'm nothing in comparison; just a tool at your disposal.

Anyways, I cleaned and waxed your old car as fast as I could. I know I lent you my convertible, but you're welcome to keep it. I put a lot of sweat and blood in fixing her up, but like you said, fancy cars are meant for you to drive and me to maintain.

Stop back in my garage anytime. White-collar men like you get free service here! It's not the place of any lowly laborer to get in the way of what you want.

Thank you again, sir.

Hello boss.

Just started another long day of window washing! It's another hot one, but I'll keep my head down and sweat through it like usual.

I've gotta say, it's days like this that make me miss the comforts of my old corporate desk job. I'd kill for some AC right now, but I remember how much you made me realize I hated that career. Like you said, I'm much better suited to a life of mindless cleaning.

It turns out you're the real one with a knack for business strategy because all of your advice has been genius! The income is dependent on the hours I put in, and since I'm working for half the price of all competitors, I've gotten a monopoly on the market! I've fully booked all seven days for the next five or so weeks, so I'll be washing windows non-stop!

The business is already booming! I've been billing customers to your bank account, so you should already see all the profit in there!

Later today, I'll make a note of the minimum I need to replenish the cleaning supplies I'm running through. I'd also be grateful if you loaned me a bit for personal use, but it's understandable if you can't spare any! We agreed that I wasn't working for a salary, and I'm fine with that! I've been sleeping in the company van the last few weeks and it's more than good enough for me!

Don't worry, boss. I'll get back to work!

Tell my wife hello for me, master!

Working on a rig has been isolating. The job is brutal, the days are long, and every night I head back to our bunks covered in oil. I thought I'd at least get to bond with the other guys, but most of us are too tired to do anything but eat and sleep after our shift.

The only thing that's getting me through it is thinking about you. I know I also have a girl at home, but you were the one that gave my life purpose. I was never going to make money as an actor, and you helped me see that! You were the one that convinced me to go for this ridiculous job in the middle of the ocean, and now I'm making a ton of money!

You deserve it all.

I wouldn't have seen any of this cash if I hadn't stuck around after your stage hypnosis show. I still remember the wild look in your eyes when you came up with this idea for me. I also remember that hungry look you had when you saw my wife. It was impossible to say no.

Oh, and thanks for keeping my wife company while I'm gone. A man like you deserves her attention more than I do. Like you said, I doubt I was pleasing her to begin with. The only thing I'm good for is earning money, and I hope you're enjoying it because it sure isn't easy to earn!

I gotta get back, but I wanted to let you know that I signed up for another six months like you suggested. It's lonely, but I'm happy to do it, master!

Son, or should I still call you 'sir'?

I'm not sure if I your new title applies through text as well? Being your dad and your servant can be a bit confusing, but I don't mean disrespect you! Just let me know.

My workout is done and I'm headed back to your house. I signed the deed over to you this morning, so you officially own it now! Like usual, I'll clean the place from top to bottom. I've got all the mops and cleaning supplies in my van and ready to go. Since it's Friday, I'll start on the weekly yard work; mowing, weeding, etc... I don't want to bore you with the details, but it'll take the majority of the day to keep your place in tip top shape!

As I understand it, you are having friends over tonight, so I'll prepare a three course meal for eight. I ironed my apron this morning so I should look like a more presentable waiter than last night when I served your food!

As always, please let me know if there's any other way I can be of service today or tonight.

I'll be awaiting your return, sir.

Hey little bro,

I just finished my workout at the gym with dad. We're both hitting PRs and we're really starting to see some results! Still can't believe you hypnotized his dumb ass to think he's your butler! That man looks so stupid changing from gym clothes into a bowtie and gloves. He's constantly calling you 'sir' too, even when you're not around.

He's such an idiot.

Anyways, I'm all dressed and ready for my new job. You were totally right. I'm going to be so much happier as a clown instead of a wrestler. I'm about to head out to my first gig; a ten year old's birthday party. I think he's the kid of someone I used to compete with. It might be a little awkward, but it won't affect my routine. I've got an afternoon of pies in the face and self-deprecating humor ahead of me.

I made sure to tell the guy who hired me that I'm willing to stay after and clean up. Kids make a huge mess after all. I just hope he won't be too weird about me being a clown at his son's party. We may have been rivals in the past, but that was back when I wrestled. Now I'm just a joke for hire. He's technically my boss for the day, so I'll have to get used to taking orders from him.

Wish me luck, bro. I'll give you the money after the dad dismisses me. Let's hope I make a good clown!

[matthewswifeyy]

After awhile you went quiet, and I got mean

Summary: Exgirlfriend!reader lives with S4!rafe. She constantly has to watch rafe treat someone better and it finally gets to her.

Part 2

(This is my first time writing sorry if it’s bad)

It’s been days. Days since he’s last talked to me. He used to tell me good morning every day but now he glances at me and walks away. I didn’t do anything. Or at least I don’t think I did.

Yesterday i saw them hugging in the bathroom before they left for the beach. I watched from down the hallway. But it was weird. He stared at me while he was hugging her.

My life’s been the worst since rafe and I broke up. Even though rafe is letting me stay at his new house it’s still been the worst. We were dating for years and then out of the blue he wanted to breakup. Since we’ve broken up my friend and family started to ignore me. And now rafe is ignoring me.

I started to realize that Sofia brings out a side of him that no one saw. Not even me.

When we dated it almost seemed like he would purposely avoid me. But with Sofia he would drop everything to be with her.

The words ‘hey baby’ pulled me from my thoughts. I watched as rafe walked into the kitchen and immediately hug and kiss Sofia.

I stared at them from across the counter. I didn’t know I was staring until I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I immediately got up from the chair and ran upstairs to my room.

I slammed the door and laid in my bed. I heard footsteps come quickly up the stairs and then my door opened.

“What the fuck is your problem” rafe said with an angry tone in his voice.

“Go away rafe” I told him as I turned away from him.

“Look at me Y/N. I’m not leaving until you tell me what your problem is. This attitude is about Sofia isn’t it?”

“Why do you make everything about her. She’s not the reason why rafe, it’s you”

“Oh it’s me? What if it’s you because you’ve always been a jealous little bit-” I cut his last word off with a hard smack to his face.

“Get out of my room rafe.” I said glaring at him.

“No”

“Rafe get out!” I screamed at him pointing to the door.

“You are not going to tell me what to do in my house, you understand that? You are lucky I don’t tell you to pack your shit right now.” He said grabbing my wrist.

“Let me go rafe” I said with an attitude.

He didn’t let go. He only tightened his grip on my wrist.

“Rafe let go you’re hurting me.” I said trying to pull my wrist away.

His eyes locked with mine

He let go and quickly walked out of my room.

Rafes pov

“Rafe stop you’re hurting me”

Those words repeated in my head as I walked down the stairs. I don’t know what happened. I haven’t acted like that towards anyone in forever.

It was something about the way she was looking at me. She looked scared. She hasn’t looked at me like since the whole Peterkin thing happened.

“Are you okay rafey” a sweet voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“Uh yeah. Just thinking” I said putting my hands on Sofia’s hips.

“About?” Sofia said putting her hands on shoulders.

“Stuff”

Sofia wasn’t the person I wanted to be taking to right now. I wanted to talk to Y/N.

After we broke up I never really checked up on her. After she said I always make everything about Sofia, I realized she was right.

I made everything about Sofia. I stopped talking to Y/N and put my full attention to Sofia. I didn’t care how Y/N was feeling at all after the break up.

I can’t even imagine what she was going through and I didn’t do anything about it. And now I just stopped talking to her.

What is wrong with me.

“Rafe did you hear what I said?” Sofia pulled me out of my thoughts again.

“Uh sorry I didn’t”

“It’s okay I was just wondering if we could go out to eat tonight?” She asked sweetly.

“Yeah that sounds good”

“Okay!” She said resting her head in my chest.

I felt a strange ache in my chest.

[rebeliz7]

The Transporter

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Count: 2262

… 

You were screwed. 

You had two rules, two unbreakable rules. Two rules that have allowed you to survive for as long as you have in your line of work. 

The first one was to never ask any unnecessary questions. Your job was simple. You transported packages, no matter what it was, no matter how far you had to go or how long it’d take you to get it to its destination. 

You’ve gained quite a reputation because of that first rule, and you were never short on job offers because of it. People valued your work policy, because they valued their privacy.  

You were, what the kids would call these days, a delivery person and that was the essence of what you did, only you mobilized very expensive and more often than not dangerous packages.

Your clients--were not good people, but that was not your problem. Of course you suspected it but to be quite honest, you never expected to be caught by the Avengers on your way back home after a well done job. 

Long story short, they did catch you and they dropped you in a dark cell for months, and that was alright, you weren’t afraid because you didn’t know anything besides the addresses where you dropped off your packages. 

You knew nothing about the packages you delivered, you never peaked and the only question that always interested you when a new job came along was, where do I take it?

“You ready to talk?” The Captain asks from across the table, and you grin at her. They’ve been doing this everyday for the last couple of months. 

Each morning you’re taken to an interrogation room, where a new avenger is always waiting for you.

“What do you want to talk about today, love?” You ask her, and she pins you down with a hard stare. 

This one lacks patience, but after months of answering the same questions with the truth and nothing but the truth, you do try to spice things up a bit every once and awhile. If only to keep yourself sharp. 

“You do realize that you’re never getting out of here if you don’t give us something, right?” She asks, and you lean back to rest against the back of the chair. 

“What do you want to know?” You ask her, if only to keep the conversation flowing. Every answer that you could have provided, you already have and they must know it too. 

“Who hired you to pick up the suitcase from the airport?”

Oh, the infamous suitcase! 

You knew that job was way too easy to be a good thing. It took you an hour to get it done. Easiest and fastest two million you’ve ever made. 

“I got a text. I told them my fee. I got a deposit and I asked where I needed to take the suitcase. I dropped the suitcase, and that was it.” You recite the same thing that you always recite, and she glares harder.

“You didn’t ask who was hiring you? Or why did they need the suitcase at that building?”

“Rule number one: Don’t ask questions that don’t concern me.” You tell her and her glare intensifies, if that’s even possible. 

“You know that doesn’t erase the fact that you’re an accomplice in a terrorist attack, right?”

That damned suitcase.

“I offer a service. I deliver packages. That’s all I do. Would you call the pizza guy that delivered in the same building before me an accomplice too?”

Her fists glow with dangerous intensity then, and in the blink of an eye you find yourself being pushed against the wall after she hits you with a blast. 

…

You wake up in your cell hours later with a massive headache and every inch of your body hurting, so you quickly close your eyes again. 

You refuse to fully wake up when you’re in this much pain.

…

The next morning you’re awoken by the sound of your door being opened, and you sit up slowly. Your hand flies to your side as a stabbing pain makes you wince when you move, and you curse under your breath. 

They’ve never laid a finger on you before, and you wonder if they’re finally about to try to beat the answers out of you, not that you have any.  

“You pissed off the Captain.” A guard shakes his head, a mocking grin on his face as he looks at you. “Aren’t you tired? Just give them what they want.”

“Are you supposed to be talking to me?” You ask him, and he shrugs his shoulders before handing you a fresh towel and a change of clothes. 

“Shower. You’re in for a new session in twenty.”

He leaves and with a lot of trouble, you do as he says.

…

The moment you enter the interrogation room you feel like you might pass out again, which reminds you of your second rule. 

Rule number two: Never fall for someone involved in the deliveries. This rule applies, of course, to the Avengers who apprehended you too. 

“You okay?” Wanda Maximoff asks, as an involuntary groan leaves your lips when you sit down. 

You kind of like it when she’s the one in charge of your interrogation for the day, but today you feel like dying and not fully up to appreciate her company.  

“Of course.” You smile, as you press your hand against your bruised ribs and you struggle to find a comfortable position to sit in. God, you feel like you’re not getting enough air into your lungs. 

“What did Carol do?” She asks you with a frown on her forehead, and you try to smile again. 

She’s attractive even when she’s frowning, which is totally unfair and completely distracting. 

“Broke a few laws, I’m sure.” You can’t breathe properly and you swallow, if only to try to mask the pain you’re currently in. 

“Does anything feel broken? Were you taken to medical?” She asks, as she stands up and you close your eyes. 

“I don’t know.” You answer and when you try to move, the pain that envelops you is so massive that you become dizzy where you sit. 

“Not even a painkiller.” You hear her murmur, before you stop fighting against so much pain and tiredness. 

You fall to the ground, the hit making the pain you were already feeling a hundred times worse. 

Wanda raises her voice and while she rushes to your side, you surrender to the darkness.   

… 

The next time you wake up, you do it in a slightier more comfortable bed than the one in your cell. 

“I didn’t even touch her!” You hear the unmistakable voice of Carol Danvers yell, and you’re tempted to huff, but you know that would only make you cry out in pain. No, she didn’t need to touch you to almost break you. 

“Her ribs are bruised. She passed out because of excruciating pain!” Wanda exclaims back, and you finally open your eyes. 

You’re in the medical-bay and your eyes immediately fall on Wanda’s furious little face. Still attractive, that one. 

“She’s a criminal,” Carol argues and you watch as Wanda’s fists begin to glow red with the midst of her powers. 

“She’s a human being and you crossed a line.” Wanda tells her, and you’re caught staring at her face again. 

She looks positively pissed, and you’re pretty sure that you’ve never seen a woman more beautiful than she is. 

“I agree,” Steve Rogers says as he walks inside the room as well. “Did you notice she’s awake?” He asks, his eyes trained on you. 

“Hey, hi.” You smile and Wanda rushes to your side, or you think that she does. 

God! You feel so woozy and nothing really hurts, and you think that maybe you’re a little bit high on painkillers. Just maybe. 

“How you feeling?” Wanda asks you and you look at her, and you can’t help but---but feel. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you murmur and her eyes widen. “Really, you are.”

She blushes and her eyes show nothing but panic as she looks at Steve, who is smiling goofily before letting out a breath. 

“Painkillers?” He asks, and Wanda nods. 

“Maybe something to help her sleep?” Wanda asks the doctor in the room, and when a small smile pulls at the corners of her lips, you smile back. 

So beautiful. 

…

You wake up with a start and a sharpening pain on your side. You’re in a much different room than the last one. You’re not in your cell, and you’re not in the medical bay either. 

No, this is a much nicer room with a big fluffy bed and a huge flat screen hanging on the wall. 

You’re about to stand up when someone knocks on the door. 

“Come in,” you confusedly call out and the door opens slowly to reveal Wanda on the other side. “Hey.”

“Can I come in?” She asks and you nod, still confused. “You should be laying down. Minimal physical effort. Doctor’s orders.”

You nod, now feeling a little suspicious but you take her advice and lay down again. At least you can breathe a bit better now, and the pain isn’t as blinding as it was the last time you woke up. 

“Care to explain?” You ask, as you struggle to grab the blanket. 

“Here, let me.” She takes the blanket, and pulls it over your body before sitting down on the edge of the mattress, close to your legs. 

She’s wearing an oversized light blue sweater that makes her look all kinds of comfy and you’re caught staring at her. 

God! She really is the most adorable superhero ever. The most attractive one too. 

“What Carol did was wrong,” she says and you roll your eyes playfully. 

“I was being an ass. I shouldn’t have provoked her like that. ”

“She crossed a line. We don’t hit people in our interrogation rooms. We don’t torture prisoners. That’s not what we stand for.”

“I’ve been telling you guys the truth from the beginning. I know nothing about the packages I delivered. My lack of interest in the content of those packages is what kept me in business for so long in the first place.”

“I know,” she says it so casually that you instantly become suspicious. “We don’t make it a habit of reading people’s minds either. That being said, I did read yours yesterday when you were unconscious.”

You chuckle nervously, and immediately wince at the slight pain that it shoots through you with the action. If she was in your head---then she knows you’ve been crushing on her for a while now. 

“I only did it because an idea occurred to us and we needed to be sure that you were telling the truth, before we did anything.”

“They call you the Scarlet Witch, y’know?” You tell her, and she grins at you. 

You’re distracted, your mind is still trying to process the fact that she read your mind and she probably knows every single thing about you, and your attraction towards her.

“I know,” she softly says and your eyes stray towards her lips. God! It’s so unfair how attractive she is and how easily she can distract you with just  her face.   

“Natasha has been studying your profile,” she continues. “You do more than just deliver.”

“Natasha Romanoff?” You ask with a start, and she nods. “She’s been studying my profile?” 

Natasha Romanoff is a legend, to put it simply, but she never interrogated you. Not once.  

You’ve admired her since forever, and every single fighting stance that you’ve mastered, you’ve done it because you spent the majority of your free time studying footage of her fights caught on camera. 

“She’s impressed,” Wanda tells you. “She believes that you have potential, and so do I.”

Sometimes trouble follows you and the packages, that’s why you’re always prepared, that’s why you know how to stand you own in a fight. 

“Are you offering me a job?” You ask her jokingly but she doesn’t laugh, instead she gives you a look that leaves you breathless. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

“I was a prisoner yesterday.” You remind her and she nods, an open and stupidly alluring grin tugging at her lips. 

“You don’t have to pretend with me. I’ve been in your head, remember?” She tells you, and you feel your cheeks heating up with a blush. 

“That’s a total violation, y’know?”

“It is and I’m sorry for doing it.” She apologizes, and you frown. 

She’s good. Too good. 

“So you know about my deep desire to quit the delivering world, and join the side of good?”

“I do.” She nods, perhaps amused. 

“And you also know that I’ve been crushing on you since the day we met?”

“About that,” she apologetically starts and you panic. 

“What?”

“You were really high on painkillers, and you might have exposed yourself about that in front of the Captains.”

“What?” You panic and when you rush to move, the pain shooting through you forces you to lay down again. 

“Easy,” she tells you kindly. “For now you just have to focus on getting better. Carol will drop by to apologize. For the record, she was not having a good day that day.”

“Neither were my ribs,” you tell her and she laughs. 

“There will be a meeting when you can leave this bed. A new life awaits you.”

“About the crushing thing?” You ask when she stands up to leave, and the smile she sends your way makes you smile in a daze, because she’s just so beautiful. 

“We can talk about that too when you’re feeling better.”

You’re still smiling after she’s gone. You only had two rules to do your job, and the first one might have ended up saving you from a lifetime in prison, but the second one? You never stood a chance against the second one. 

… 

Feedback is much appreciated. 

[strangererotica]

EXPLICIT CONTENT | MINORS DNI

Stepdad!Hopper x Reader • age gap (reader is 21, Hop’s in his 40’s) • angst, mutual pining, masturbation mentioned, troubled marriage, Hopper is a pervert wracked with guilt aka my favorite kind of Hopper… 🤪

You wiggled on Hopper’s lap, causing him to stifle a groan. God you were beautiful. So fucking pretty and sweet, using his lap to sit in while you did your makeup at the dresser mirror.

“Thanks for the boost, by the way,” you told him, smiling at his serious reflection in the glass. “I’m too short for this dresser, I swear.” You giggled, patting your cheeks with a rosy blush. “If it weren’t for you, I’d be stretching on my tiptoes just to put my makeup on.”

Hopper swallowed back another groan as you adjusted on his lap. “But with you in this chair, and me on your lap-” You finished slicking your lips with a cherry-flavored gloss, and popped them. “-We make a great team, don’t we?”

Hopper forced a polite smile back at you, struggling internally. He shouldn’t be enjoying this so much, or doing it at all. You were so trusting of him, so naive in many ways. Even though you were an adult now, Hopper was aware of the fact that you had next to no experience with boys. He wasn’t doing anything wrong right now, by letting you sit on his lap…not technically. But because of the feelings he’d secretly had for you, for awhile now, even the most innocent gestures Hopper made toward you felt taboo…

When he’d met your mother, you’d just turned nineteen. And without an older, stable male figure in your life, you became attached to Hopper quickly. After marrying your mother the following year, Hopper hoped you’d finally begin dating, forming relationships with boys your age. But now, at twenty-one years old, you still insisted on designating Hopper the only man in your life.

He hadn’t minded, at first. Not when his relationship with your mother was going well, when she and Hopper were still being intimate together. But things had soured between them over the last six months or so, to the point that now, Hopper couldn’t remember the last time he and his wife had made love. There never seemed to be any interest on her part, leading Hopper to wonder sometimes if perhaps she were having her sexual needs met by another man?

With the tension in his marriage at a peak and its intimacy completely evaporated, Hopper found his desires traveling elsewhere in the home. He hated himself for it, despised the way he came almost daily to the thought of having you…but the woman you’d become was a temptation too great for Hopper to ignore.

Seeing you every morning, moving about the house in just your pajama shorts and a tank top like it was nothing, Hopper realized how disgusting he’d truly become. You obviously trusted him, just as you had for years, enough to prance around him half naked and think nothing of it. This realization only added to Hopper’s guilt, making him hate himself a little more each time he masturbated with your body in mind.

“There,” you said, capping your mascara and placing it on the dresser. “All done. What do you think?” You fanned your fingers around your face and batted your lashes dramatically, smiling at Hopper’s reflection.

“Beautiful,” he replied; and from the almost reverent sincerity in Hopper’s tone, you knew he meant it.

You slid off his lap, his hands immediately moving to your hips to steady you as you dismounted. Hopper rose from the chair, turning aside so you wouldn’t see him discreetly adjust himself in his pants.

He sighed with relief, feeling as if he’d passed some kind of test. “Hey,” he said. “You really do look great, kid. But-.” Hopper moved his finger to boop your powdered nose. “-Who’s all this for, anyway? You gettin’ all dolled up just for the hell of it?”

You glanced down at the floor, a blush warming your cheeks beneath the makeup. “I…uh,” you stammered bashfully. “I have a date.”

Hopper’s eyebrows lifted, his lips parting in surprise. “A date?” he asked, before quickly softening the accidental sharpness in his voice. “Oh. Who’s the lucky guy?”

There was a pause before you answered Hopper, and he found it a bit strange that you didn’t answer him right away. Maybe you were just shy, he wondered? This was the first date Hopper had ever known you to have, in the two years he’d known you. Maybe the situation was so new, you didn’t know how to talk about it casually?

“Uh, just a guy from work,” you explained. “You’d like him, he’s funny. But serious too, when he needs to be.” You bit your glossy bottom lip, chuckling. “He kinda reminds me of you, Hop.”

Your stepdad’s eyebrow quirked curiously, as if he doubted your sincerity. “Hmm,” he muttered. “You meeting this guy somewhere?”

“At the new mall they just built, yeah,” you replied, checking your look again in the mirror. “We’ll probably see a movie, or something.”

Hopper nodded, another polite smile once again fixed onto his face. “Well, be safe,” he told you, and gently squeezed your shoulder before heading for the door.

“Just, one more thing,” Hopper said, lingering in your doorway. “What’s this kid’s name, anyway?”

You froze outwardly, but your mind was scrambling for a response. “Jack,” you blurted. “His name’s Jack. He’s a nice guy, really.”

Hopper’s brow was creased in ‘detective mode,’ a familiar expression for him, but one you rarely saw directed at yourself. He nodded silently as he exited your room, patting the doorframe on his way out. You watched Hopper leave, exhaling the knot of tension you’d been holding.

“Like I said,” he called from the hallway as he walked away. “Be safe.”

Be safe. A sentiment that struck you as both ironic and unnecessary, as you observed your made-up reflection in the mirror…the mirror you could easily access, without having to strain. You hadn’t needed Hopper’s lap to boost you; you wanted him to be there. The innocence you feigned around your stepfather was as fake as your date for the evening, Jack.

The truth, which as always is more complicated than fiction, was that you’d been in love with Hopper for awhile now. You weren’t as naive as he (and your mother) thought you were. What you lacked in actual life experience, you made up for in observing others. And as you began to see problems in your mother and Hopper’s marriage arise, you watched each crack form on the surface with a growing interest.

Although Hopper didn’t realize it, your choosing him as the only man in your life was not an accident. You didn’t want anyone else; you wanted him. Tonight had been a test, to gauge his reaction to you actually having a date for once. And from the way Hopper had reacted, his change of tone, his sudden and deliberate need for details, you were convinced that jealousy was at play in his response.

Reaching for your bag, you checked to make sure you had your car keys and enough cash on you for a movie ticket and some popcorn. You’d go to the mall and see a movie, just as you’d told Hopper, minus a date…

���or at least, you thought you’d be going alone. You didn’t notice, as you exited the driveway and drove through the streets of Hawkins, that another (very familiar) vehicle was discreetly following a few cars behind you.

Hopper wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to see, with his own eyes, the boy you’d suddenly, uncharacteristically, made the choice to go out with. The expression ‘know your enemy,’ may have been resting at the back of Hopper’s mind as he followed you to the mall; but more accurately, Hopper was hoping to know his competition…

PART TWO

[waklman]

Glue Song (Pt. 1)

summary: jake tries to keep your existence out of rooster’s knowledge. (friends to lovers, pining)

pairing: jake seresin x female reader

warnings: negative self talk

a/n: haven’t wrote in awhile but glue song by beabadoobee and tgm brought me back...ugh i can't i love pining jake.

word count: 2.5k

next part

“I respect the guy, but he is out of his damn mind.” You watch as Jake momentarily pauses his rambling to take another chug of the latte you brewed for him. 

“Maverick must’ve hit his head while landing during the last mission. Yeah, that must be why.” he concludes, almost entertaining himself, imagining all the ways the old guy could have begun to lose his sanity.

If Jake wasn’t so annoyed, he would have laughed at the made up scenarios playing out in his head. And of course, voicing them to you afterwards so you could laugh with him.

Noticing that some of the neatly decorated whip cream from his drink had found a new home on his freshly shaved face, you wet your hands in the sink and mindlessly reached over the kitchen island to wipe at his sticky chin. 

He blinks back at you, the annoyed expression on his face faltering at your touch.

“There was whip cream on your face. You hate when things get on your skin.” you carefully whisper, pulling your hands back to begin cleaning the dishes again. 

Worry began to brew in your stomach, you might’ve crossed a boundary. 

After processing what happens, Jake just hums, pursing his lips at you in thanks.

Your body unravels at the notion, the tense muscles of your shoulders relaxing itself.

Jake watches you intently, eyes scanning over every detail of you. 

There is a beat of silence as you two acknowledge each other. Your eyes meet in silent conversation. So touching Jake’s face was allowed, you two had agreed without having to say a thing to each other. 

As if nothing happened, Jake regains his posture and furrows his eyebrows together once more, signaling that he’s ready to continue his stream of complaints–this becoming a new routine for you two on weekends where you are both off from work. 

You couldn’t help but to smile to yourself in moments like these. Moving to San Francisco on your own was not an easy decision. Stability has always been something you craved, even if it meant not putting yourself first. But it quickly wore you out with time. You had a job you were unhappy with, shitty friends who you had kept around for the sake of having a social life, essentially trading in your sanity for the sake of stability. The knowledge that this might be how your life would span out, left you disoriented. 

That one fateful summer was when you had decided it was time for a change, despite the fact it made you sick to your stomach to do something so sudden, especially all on your own. But, maybe a new location is just what you needed. 

When you first arrived, reality hit you like a truck. All you felt was immense regret, you had no friends, you’re making less money now, and you didn’t know your way around San Diego at all. This wasn’t something you were used to, causing the doubts of your rash decision to eat at you whenever you had a moment to think to yourself. You should’ve never done this. 

And as if your guardian angel saw your internal struggle, they sent Jake on your trail to ease all of it. All it took was his odd obsession with the way you specifically made his vanilla lattes, to keep him around—following your every move like he was tethered to you. 

After a while Jake found himself not only sticking around for your applaudable barista skills, because there was you. Jake never realized he could possibly laugh so hard that it hurt until he started talking to you during his morning coffee runs. Before you, he had always thought that was just an expression–how was it possible to laugh that hard? And like any other guilty pleasure Jake had, he couldn’t help himself in indulging in you, not wanting to share you with anyone else. 

After flight training, he’d unconsciously rush out of the locker rooms without saying goodbye to anyone in order to catch you after your shift. Just so he could walk you to your car as he accidentally bumps into you outside. 

And as the weeks flew by, your shared activities quickly branched out from just friendly morning chats and Jake walking you to your car. 

Now you found yourself spending weekends with him, where you had continued to make his coffee for him, but now just inside in the comfort of your own apartment. Playful conversations were had every morning, with you behind the counter and him seated across from you grinning ear to ear from hearing your laughter that he evoked from you. This became permanently ingrained into both your weekly routines. His excuse being that he can’t physically survive if you weren’t the one making him his morning coffee, so he obviously has to come see you every weekend. It was a no brainer, he told you. 

“He is ridiculous.” he affirms once more before bringing his lips back around the rim, being more careful to not get his drink onto his face this time.

Although it might have seemed like he was rambling to himself, you had been nodding and quietly reacting to every statement he made thus far–assuring him that you were paying attention to him. 

“That's funny, coming from the guy who was growing a whip cream beard one second ago.” you inquired.

“When did you stop being so nice to me?” he sulked, something he was specifically raised to never do. His father would have had a stroke if he knew his 30 year old son was habitually sulking now. But it couldn’t be helped, you drew out new behaviors from him, that he never felt ashamed about doing. 

“If I knew you were like this, I would have never pestered you at work in the first place.” Though, Jake knew that if his day had been reset from the first day you two met, he’d undoubtedly pester you every single time. 

“That’s too bad, isn't it?” You flicker some water on your finger tips at him. 

“Hey, watch it missy.” he flinches, bringing a protective palm to hover over his drink. 

“So, let me get this clear-” you redirected the conversation back to its original course. 

Jake quickly shifts his attention away from the state of his drink and back to you. 

“So Maverick..” he nods, confirming that you got his callsign right. 

“...wants you and your co-worker Rooster to spend time together outside of work. At least once a week?” you cautiously recall what he told you.

“Yeah, isn’t that horrible?” he puffs his chest in defiance, expecting you to readily agree with him. 

“Can’t be that bad though, right? Shouldn’t you two be working on becoming good friends, especially now that your dagger squad is an official detachment now? You’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on.” you expressively shared your final thoughts with him.

He silently watches you rinse off the dishes as he soaks in what you said, with his brows pinched tightly together. You were right, he knew that. 

“We get along fine, we’re kind of cool with each other after that first mission. Why be best buds?” he deflects. 

“I want you to have more friends, Jake. Give it a shot.” you attempt to encourage him, while placing his dishes onto the drying rack carefully.

“I have you and Javy.” 

“But you can also have Rooster. And who knows, maybe everyone else on the squad too.” you offered up with a smile. 

“I have a week to plan our first bonding session.” Jake threw up his fingers in two sarcastic quotes. 

“Cute. So like a date?” 

You grinned widely watching Jake’s face fall flat. 

“God. Please.” he scoffs, trying to fight off the smile making its way onto his face. 

“Never call it a date, I’m begging you angel.” Oh. The endearment slipped from his mouth and Jake looked slightly mortified. 

Well, it’s not like you weren’t an angel in his eyes anyways, he thought.

Ignoring the flush of heat rushing to your ears, you attempt to casually brush over what he said. 

“How about. I lend you a hand, just this once.” Jake’s ear almost perks at your statement, instantly recovering from his slip up.

“I’ll set something up for you two down at the shop after I close up, all you have to do is show up.”

“Only question is, if you trust me enough with something like that.” 

Of course I do, he thinks. 

Jake wishes he could extract the part of your brain that made you doubt yourself so much. The blond couldn’t think of anything he wouldn't trust you with. And he’d seen you do it so often–second guess yourself, and he hated it. He hated how it made him feel–sick at the thought that you could possibly not believe in yourself. 

“If I didn’t, would I be sitting here defenseless at your place?” He flashes his dimples at you in a reassuring smile. 

Adoration fills you completely at the sight of him, his tousled morning hair and the creases set under his eyes, marked by his smile makes you glad you decided to take residency here. This feels right, Fightertown feels right. He feels right.

“You’re lucky my love language is acts of service, Jacob Seresin.”

“Mine is physical touch.”

“Gross.” 

“Don’t believe me? Come here.” he raises his brows teasingly, getting up from his seat, making his way towards you. 

“No. Stay back.” you panic, swatting away his already outstretched arms. 

“So…what do we think?” you were basically jittering from where you stood, a poor attempt at holding back your overflowing excitement. 

The two naval aviators stood side by side in front of you, almost mirroring each other perfectly. Expressions unreadable, hands on their hips, lips pursed and side eyeing each other—urging the other to speak first. Javy directs Jake to say something first by lifting his chin at him as Jake deadpans his best friend in response.

Between you and the pair of pilots sat a small table you manage to drag in the center of the cafe with a candle flickering in the center, surrounded by an array of chocolate croissants that you knew Jake had an insatiable craving for. The rest of the table was cramped with random assortments of new Valentines recipes you had been testing–and who better to try them than your reliable Jake and his new friend that you would assume to be in equal size as him. 

And how could he possibly crush your excitement and tell you this looks absolutely terrifying, and that he would rather do 300 pushups under the unforgiving sun than sit at this romantic table and feast on your heart shaped cookies with the likes of Rooster. 

“Well,” Coyote begins, not noticing the pointed glare Jake shoots at him. 

Jake observes you begin to shrink in front of his eyes at Javy’s tone and immediately slaps his palm over his friend’s mouth, panicked at what he’ll start to say. 

Javy stiffens, shocked that his germophobic friend had even put his hand on his face, recalling all the times Jake complained that Javy should start using cleanser for his “oily” skin. Jake even once swore he would rather eat dirt than touch Javy’s face after seeing sweat drip down his face after their first morning run together. 

“It's perfect” he swallows back any sign of hesitancy under your careful gaze.

You know he’s lying for your sake. Although he sounds sure, you could see the prominent vein in his neck protrude, a tell tale sign that he’s feeling pressured. 

“Jake..” the uncertainty in your voice makes him want to double over. Your shoulders have already slumped, his eyes frantically watching as your cardigan start to slip down your arms, exposing your bare shoulders. 

Javy’s mouth parts as he watches Jake take a big step over to you, gently pulling the sleeves of your knit cardigan up to your shoulder blades again. His hands slowly moving down to your wrist, nervously playing with the cuffs of your sleeves. 

Javy’s heart briefly swells at the sentiment, but he knows what he has to do. Jake would thank him for this later, he hopes. 

Although Jake has to be the most horrifyingly fearless pilot Javy knows, when it boils down to situations like these–he knows his best friend needs a push in the right direction or else he’ll never take the leap of faith. 

Javy pulls himself together.

“Admit that you hate it, Hangman” he speaks up, interrupting the moment.

Bewildered, Jake snaps his neck to face Javy from where he stood in front of you. 

“I do not hate it.” his southern accent is now present from being provoked. 

Javy feels glad for once that Jake is so stubborn. 

“So you’ll happily sit here with Rooster?”

“Yes.” He answers almost immediately.

“Can we join you too?” Javy quickly shoots the question.

“Of course” he answers, right away.

Javy practically glows at the sight of Jake’s eyes shooting wide open, caught off guard by his own reply. 

“Perfect. Rooster can hang with all of us.” Javy proudly grins. 

Something unfamiliar swirls at the pit of his stomach. You, Javy, and him hanging out? Sure. That's fine, as long as he sits between you two. But You, Javy, him, and Rooster? It’s unpredictable. 

When a bird flies straight into his jet unexpectedly, he can handle that–he can predict the outcome. When his jet is jeering towards a canyon and his eject button doesn't work, that’s fine he can predict his next move to get out safely. But the idea of you and Rooster in the same room makes his head spin out of control. Jake feels like his soul shifts out of his body for a moment.

“That’s a great idea Javy! Maybe we can sit in on this hangout so Jake is less nervous too.” you chime in, grabbing Jake’s hands sweetly, swinging them side to side to soothe his nerves. 

His head lowers to watch the way your small hands grip at his own calloused ones–playfully swinging your arms left to right in unison in the small space between the two of you. His eyes soften at the sight.

“I want to hear what you guys think of my new recipes too..” you add on, shyly smiling up at Jake–silently asking if that was okay with him. 

It's a done deal. He can’t take back what he says. Not when you're staring up at him like this, looking so tooth achingly sweet in his favorite white dress that you own.

“Yeah let’s do it..” he gulps.

thank you for reading, and as always-reblogs are greatly appreciated!

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not my gif! if anyone knows the creator please let me know!!

[simpforboys]

dating canon!rafe…

warnings: mentions of aggression, mental health issues, swearing, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and sexual themes. please seek help if you or someone you know is struggling.

you two met a kegger, and his deep blue eyes drew you in immediately

he was drawn to your body and looks for the most part. he truly believed you would be a cute little accessory on his arm, someone he could manipulate and use

he was high off of cocaine when he approached you, seeming completely out of it

but he was so persistent on taking you out, you accepted the kook prince’s advance

on the first date he was very touchy

he would touch your hips, thighs, arms

you didn’t really mind though, because it’d been awhile since you got laid and rafe was one of, if not the most attractive man on the island

you’d heard plenty of rumors and stories about the Cameron family, but didn’t really pay attention

you two slept together on the first date.

and then it became a regular thing. he would hit you up in the early hours of the morning, and every time you would go.

and he was an amazing fuck, so you didn’t really mind, but when you realized that all he cared about was your looks you freaked out on him

“don’t call me! don’t fucking text me, dick head!”

“oh save it, bitch!”

it took a couple weeks… until Rafe showed up at your house unannounced

you had your shirt taken off, another man kissing down your chest when Rafe literally busted the door down

he literally almost killed the guy. multiple punches thrown, kicks, and broken bones.

“get the fuck out, you worthless piece of shit! look at her again and i’ll kill you!”

that was the first time you’d really seen anyone have pure rage, and it scared you

Rafe finally asked you to be his girlfriend, and knew that you were scared to decline

a few months in, you met Ward, Rose, Wheezie, and Sarah. but it was very brief, as Rafe secretly didn’t want his family to ruin you

while at first he saw you as someone to benefit from, he started caring more and more about you

he would constantly need to know where you were. your location, who you’re with, etc.

if he finds out you lied he gets pissed

but the sex after is like….. meow

when all the pressure around getting the cross gets too much, and all the drama w his dad, he would get colder with you

like stop responding to your messages and just basically become distant

he would smoke and drink a lot to try to contain his emotions

but one night you showed up to Tannyhill unannounced and saw Rafe crying

his dad had basically just told him to “man up” for expressing that he isn’t okay mentally

and you were fucking pissed

your first thought was to show Ward Cameron your two fists, but you realized how bad Rafe was

for the first time ever, Rafe broke down in your arms

“i try so hard… i’ll never be one of his precious daughters. and it- it fucks me up. i’m not okay, y/n.”

“i know, Rafe. i’m here, okay? i’m here to help you.”

you held him all night while he sobbed, and the emotional side you saw to him made you reevaluate yourself

while you knew how fucking toxic he was- you couldn’t help but grow to love him

there were some moments where he was sweet. he would buy you flowers, gifts, shower you with affection

but then he would grow distant

you had a strong suspicion he was a sociopath, but you knew he was struggling

so you stayed. and every time you stayed

he only had gotten physical with you once. you were shouting rude things about his dad and he grabbed you roughly, his eyes full of rage

that was the first time you truly were scared of him, and he knew it

“Rafe-“

he would glare at you momentarily, then realize what he was doing and let you go

the next day he would bring you breakfast

he began to fall in love with you when he saw you with your little cousin

seeing how nurturing you were with your cousin made him realize how truly lucky he was to be with you, even through all the shit he’s put you in

so basically… rafe is toxic af but he kinda cares so

yes, i would marry you rafe. thank you. bye.

[meiluu]

Stray

Leon S. Kennedy/ Reader (No gendered terms used)

summary: you find a stray cat, and you and Leon decide to make it a member of your small family.

cw: animal abandonment, FLUFF.

*this is a vent post, to give a little backstory on this. Me and my family have been feeding a stray cat for awhile now, and recently he came back to our house after going on an adventure, but looked extremely thin and hurt. We tried to fatten him up so that we could possibly trap him and get him help. But he was just too sick and sadly passed away in our flower bed yesterday. So this in memory of all the stray animals who never got the love that they deserved.*

“Love you, have a good day at work!” With a quick kiss you send Leon off to the D.S.O. Shutting the door to your shared house you head back inside to finish your morning routine. Eating breakfast, and getting yourself dressed, you get ready to head out to do some errands. Adjusting your hair into an easy clip you take a glance at the clock and then head out the door. The warm rays of the sun flow through you as you walk to your car, getting in you quickly find your playlist and start on your journey to your first stop.

Plopping back into your seat you take a moment to sit back and relax, having driven through the entire city completing your errands. Letting out a sigh of relief you are about to start your car when you hear a noise. stopping yourself, you sit for a second hoping to hear the sound again. Its faint but its unmistakable- it sounded like a meow. Quickly stepping out of your car you swiftly scan your surroundings hoping to spot where the sound was coming from. Following your ears you let your body guide you, walking a bit away from your car you realize you are headed towards the back of the store you were just in. reaching the back of the building your eyes catch onto a toppled over trash bag that's open. Your heart drops into your stomach at the sight, picking up your pace you near towards the bag. squatting down to peer inside, your eyes start to tear up at what you find.

Its a relatively small cat, a tortoiseshell, cowering into the bag as it meows in distress. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you get down onto your knees and tentatively begin reaching your hand out. "Hey, baby... can I get you out of there?" you know its stupid trying to talk to the cat but you cant stop yourself. The cat stops meowing as its eyes zero in on your hand, you release a breath as you slowly inch your hand closer towards it. Hope blooms within your chest seeing the cat not hissing at your hand. And with one last inch you have the cat within your gentle grasp, pulling it out of the bag the cat immediately clutches onto your shirt digging its claws into the fabric. Tears are beginning to gather at the sight of the cat shivering within your embrace. "Its ok, I've got you. le-lets get you home." choking up on the last few words you start making your way to your car.

Thankfully the drive to the pet store and back to your house was relatively quick, never having to stop or slow down for traffic. It was like the world knew you were on an important mission and helped you out. Quickly unloading all of your goods you work at a fast pace to unload all of the things you got for the cat along with the stuff you got while running errands. Setting up the little cat station in the unused guest bathroom, laying out a couple of towels and setting up everything a cat needed. Gently you go to set down the cat that had not once let up its grip ever since you picked it up- and it begins to meow and you immediately stop. "Hey its ok- I promise I'm not going to leave you but you need to be cleaned and you need to eat." petting down its back in an attempt to comfort it, slowly but surely it begins to relax again. But that comfort is halted at the sound of the front door opening and closing. A muffled 'I'm home.' rings throughout the house.

oh shit, you didn't tell Leon about your new friend. Making sure to keep your voice not too loud you tell him you’re in the guest bathroom. Might as well just ripe off the bandage instead of trying to hide it. Familiar footsteps make there way towards you, then the sound of the doorknob turning meets your ears. "What are you doing in-." Leon's words stop short as his eyes take in what's in front of him. "Ok I know this looks kind of bad but hear me out..." quickly rushing out your words. But as you go to explain your words trail off as you look at Leon's face, he is no longer looking at you but instead to the creature clinging onto you.

"Hello." His words are whispered towards the cat, and almost like it knew he was talking to it, it slowly raises its head catching onto Leon's gaze. Leon squats down to where you are sitting, and from there you tell him of how you found the cat. Once the story was finished you further explained how the cat wouldn't let go- and that you needed to clean it and also check on whether it was a girl or a boy, as calling the cat an 'it' was not going to workout in the long term.

And thankfully with the combined effort of you and Leon, you were both able to clean and feed the clingy ball of fluff, and you were able to see that it was a girl. After everything was all said and done, the cat had fallen asleep in a bundle of warm towels. Both you and Leon had now gotten comfortable on the tiled floor and were peacefully watching over the cat, taking a quick glance you feel your heart swell at the soft smile that painted Leon's face. "Should we keep her?" you were words are hushed- so as to not wake her. An incredulous look appears on Leon's face. "Are you really asking that question? Of course we are keeping her." a quiet giggle falls from your lips at Leon's hasty response. "Well you got any ideas on what we should name her?" a hum rumbles from within Leon's chest, a moment of contemplation then his face lights open and you can almost see a light bulb lighting up above his head. "How does June sound?"

"June. I like it, June Kennedy has a nice ring to it." a bright smile encompasses Leon's face at your acceptance. And with a name decided you've both now have a new addition to your family.

---

As the next few months fly by, June has slowly but surely warmed up to both yours and Leon's prescience. Although she is very skittish around the front door and gets easily spooked by loud noises, but overall she's been nothing but a sweet bundle of fur to have around. As the weather gets colder you start using the fireplace within your living room and it has become June’s favorite place to be.

Snow is gently falling outside your window, you are sat cuddled up with Leon surrounded by a plethora of blankets reveling in each others comforting prescience. The soft crackling of the fire is accompanied by the gentle music playing on the t.v. Just as sleepiness is about to overcome you and Leon you feel a weight upon your leg. Blinking your eyes open you spot June. "Hey June, you wanna cuddle.? you a get a soft trill in response and gently June climbs up into your lap, turning in circles a few times before she finally plops herself down and begins to make biscuits into the blanket. Leon having woken up from his light sleep reaches a hand over scratching behind her ears and under her chin. Slowly June's biscuit become more spaced out until she's completely asleep. Taking the message both you and Leon follow June into a warm and peaceful slumber.

found this pic on Pinterest, if anyone has the artists account message me so that I can credit them :)

[grapejuicestyless]

I Just Want To Love You.

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: Harry’s an idiot, but he’s not stupid.

Seeing her so distraught was something I wish I had never seen. The image of her teary eyes burning into mine tattooed itself into my brain and her trembling lip was a constant thought that clouded it just as horrible.

She had been so bubbly, so happy when I first called her. She seemed relieved I was there to talk to her, there to catch up while we were so far apart.

I noticed that about her. With each of these calls, she seemed to grow more and more excited. She got more and more lively like my presence was the best thing in the world to her, even if I couldn’t be there to hold her and say what I wanted to, to her face. She supported me fully, every god damn time.

It was only when her voice came out a shaky mess and her eyes blinked rapidly to hide the tears that it clicked. All too late and all too naive to realize it at the time, but it all fell into place as soon as the phone went dead and the final sentences spoken to each other fell deaf.

She was excited I was coming home. My y/n, my baby, had been at home, waiting patiently for her lover to come home and live up on her for so long. She’s been so patient and so supportive, how could I have not seen it.

Sure, I suspected it in the past, seeing the slight twitch of her lips when I’d mention another leg of tour being added in order to connect with more international fans and spread positivity in the best way I could, but her over supportiveness overshadowed those brief moments. My stomach twisted sickly at my careless neglect to my love.

While I was out for months between holidays, surrounding myself with love and overwhelming support, y/n had been waiting for the one person she held close to her heart to come home and show her some love in return.

Suddenly, I felt selfish. I felt disgusting and I felt like the worst boyfriend in the history books in that moment. How had I been so careless with the most precious love of my life? How had I let myself drift so far from her?

This realization set in hard, hitting deep. I couldn’t sleep on it, knowing I was hurting her by not being there with her.

So, though I was sure I would get an earful the next morning from some of my closest friends on this long, close knit tour group for being so on and off and deciding so last minute to cancel any further plans, but it had to be done.

I watched the phone ring for a few minutes, Jeff’s name illuminated on my phone. Glancing to the clock by my side, it read out 2:35am. Three hours after the phone call with Y/n had ended. Three hours since that moment had been stuck on a loop in my head.

“Hello?” He answered, voice heavy with sleep and throat dry from the hours with no water.

“Hey, Jeff. Sorry for calling so late…listen, fuck. I just want to be straight forward about this. I can’t do those additional shows like I said before. I need to go home this month. Not September. July. I need to be at home.” My voice came out a mile a minute, loud and stern. I was certain of what I wanted.

My palms were heavy on my eyes. Fingers rubbing harshly into my temples, Jeff let out a quiet sigh.

“Okay, yeah. That’s fine. Nothings been finalized yet. We can cancel. I’ll get on it first thing today. At a normal hour, okay? Go to bed, Harry. You have a show today.” The phone beeped dead, and for the first time in the last few hours, the guilt that was so heavy became slightly lighter.

I wanted to call y/n, share the exciting news and explain how horrible I felt for treating her so poorly these past few months. I wanted to kiss her and hold her until she screamed at me to leave her alone, but I was still halfway across the world with a couple more shows left before I could fix everything for us.

…

Going away for awhile was bittersweet usually. I would cherish the time alone I would get in the serenity of my own home. Having the ability to curl up on the carpet and spread myself put into a comfortable sleep whenever, the feeling of home enough to lull me into a deep slumber for the first few days. I would miss the stage terribly too. I would miss the fans funny signs and excitement surrounding a shared passion for music. Yet, when I made the speech about going away for a bit, I found myself hesitating on the promise to come back.

Yes, of course I would come back. In a years time I would be ready to head back on the road. Yet, still feeling the hangover from my breakthrough just a few weeks ago, I felt nothing but relief to be going away to my y/n.

I found myself rushing to the airport. Showing up early just to sit impatiently with my headphones jammed in my ears so hard it almost silenced all my thoughts.

Y/n seemed to be doing better, recently. I hadn’t told her we finalized the plan to not continue adding shows to HSLOT. I hadn’t told her about that late night call with Jeff or how much deep regret I felt for ignoring her all those weeks apart.

We talked almost every night. She shared her silly poems she had written and doodled on every unused notebook in the house while I was away, she confessed. Always the most cheery when she didn’t have to be. Always so strong. Always such a beautiful, caring woman to me.

What a beautiful love story her and me had that I’d managed to fuck up so carelessly.

That idea became my new worry. From the airport all the way to our driveway, it became the poison that overtook my body. How I hadn’t listened to her silent pleas. How I hadn’t seen how I was slowly killing her with my lack of care.

My knuckles rested on the door. I knocked, knowing it was my home too. I still knocked, unsure if I would be welcomed.

The door swung open, y/n looking sleepy, pen ink on her hands and my clothes blanketing over her body in a cozy make shift pajama set.

“Harry?” It was pure shock, the tone she used to greet me. She eyed me up and down, not knowing if it was too good to be true. If her mind was making up games to tear her down all over again.

“Hi, Baby.” The tears clouded my vision, a lump growing in my throat so great that it came out a gravely whimper.

Arms wrapped tightly around my body, her cheek nestling into the crook of my neck. She could’ve knocked me back, if it wasn’t for the good footing I had on our front steps. Even if we fell and I bled out, at least I was back with my love.

And as my shirt became soaked in her happy tears and her hair growing wet from the ones that managed to escape my eyes, I could only think of one thing. Only one thought that replayed the entire journey home. The one thing I wanted so badly since the realization dawned on me.

I just want to love you.

———————————————————————-

I’m so sorry this is soooo messy 😦😦😦

I had the thought and just had to write abt it ASAP so I wouldn’t lose it. I might redo it later!!

[last-knight-who-was]

I found this in my notes app and realized I never reposted this on my current blog! I wrote this while RWBY V9 was airing, between episode 7 and 8 in response to this post by @actualbampot. I like it, so I figured I'd go ahead an post it again!

_____

It was strange being back at Beacon after three years. Even stranger to think about how, if the Fall had never happened, they'd be ending their final year of school within the next month or so. It'd been some time since Weiss had imagined that particular scenario though. And yet here they were; the four of them, back in their old dorm room.

It was exactly as they'd left it that last morning, before the final match of the Vytal Tournament. Before they'd lost Penny and Pyrrha. Before the First Battle of Beacon. Before everything went wrong.

Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. All of their old things exactly where they'd been; Blake's books still on the shelf, Yang's posters plastered across the walls, Ruby's game controllers discarded on the floor, several of Weiss' text books laid out on the desk.

Weiss glanced over at Blake and Yang, sitting together on the faunus' old bed. Ruby had opened the window, sitting down on the sill, one leg lifted up with her arm propped on her knee, the other leg dangling outside as she stared off at Vale in the distance. The fires had been put out days ago, and already people were coming together to rebuild the kingdom.

With Salem put to rest at last, the Creatures of Grimm eradicated, and the Gods of Light and Darkness gone for good, there was finally hope for a future. Humans and Faunus were moving forward together, rebuilding everything that had been lost. And beyond that, with no Grimm, new settlements could be established. No more hiding behind walls. Unfortunately for Team RWBY, today was also the last time they'd all be together for quite some time.

With reconstruction underway, all of the Heroes of Remnant (as they were apparently being called now) would be going to different parts of the world to offer aid. Ren, Nora, and Oscar had left earlier in the week, headed east to Anima. They'd taken Jaune's armor and weapon with them, to return to his family. Emerald and Neo had elected to stay in Vale and help out there, while Yang and Blake were leaving later that evening to go to Menagerie. Meanwhile, Weiss would be going to Vacuo to reunite with her family and help establish an actual settlement for the refugees from Atlas and Mantle.

Ruby hadn't told them where she was going yet; Weiss suspected she wasn't sure what she wanted to do yet. Which was fine, honestly the younger girl deserved to have a break. Maybe she'd stay on Patch with her father for awhile. It would be good for her.

A beep from Yang's scroll roused Weiss from her musing. Glancing at the blonde brawler, she found her reading a text, Blake leaning against her side. "Dad's waiting down at the docks to see us off," Yang announced. As the BY duo stood up, Weiss noticed from the corner of her eye how Ruby ducked her head.

She didn't have much time to think on it as she found herself pulled between the newly married couple, into a tight hug. Weiss wrapped her arms around both of them, burying her head into their shoulders. "I'm gonna miss you guys," she murmured.

"Don't worry, it'll only be a few months before we're together again," Blake replied, giving the former heiress a squeeze as she butted their heads together affectionately.

"Yeah, cheer up Weisscream! You'll see us again before you have time to miss us," Yang added, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I doubt that," Weiss said, giving them a watery smile as the three of them separated.

Yang turned as Ruby approached, pulling her little sister into a crushing hug that Ruby returned just as tight. "I'll miss you little sis," Yang whispered, kissing the side of Ruby's head.

"I love you Yang," Ruby replied, voice muffled against her sister's shoulder.

"I love you too." Pulling away, Yang cupped Ruby's cheek briefly before she moved over for Blake, who immediately pulled Ruby into another hug.

Ruby laughed softly, curling her arms around the older girl's waist. "Look after Yang for me, will you? We both know what a disaster she is," the leader joked, shooting her sister a teasing look over Blake's shoulder.

Yang very maturely poked her tongue out at her as the other three giggled. "Of course I will," Blake replied, leaning away.

"Good," Ruby said, looking away briefly before meeting Blake's eyes. "I love you Blake. I'm happy to call you my sister."

Blake's lip wobbled, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. "I love you too sis."

Yang smiled, taking Blake's hand in her own and tugging her toward the door. "C'mon ya softie," she teased, stopping briefly to shoot a look back at the other two. "Bye guys, we'll see ya later." For a moment, her eyes locked with silver, a sadness that Weiss didn't understand appearing in those lilac eyes.

As the Bumbleby duo left, Weiss turned to her partner. "I know it'll only be a few months, but... a part of me can't help thinking of the last time we were separated at this school. About how I thought I'd never see you three again."

A frown tugged at Ruby's lips as she crossed her arms, turning to Weiss. "You'll see them again Weiss," she said with conviction, absolutely certain of that fact.

The ex-heiress looked up into those silver eyes, still not used to how much taller than her the younger girl was now. "I know."

Ducking her head, Ruby's tongue darted out to wet her lips. Almost as if she were steeling herself to say something important. After a moment, a soft sigh escaped her. "But you won't be seeing me again."

Weiss stiffened, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean? Where are you going?" As she took a step closer, Ruby took one back.

"I don't know. I just know that... I'm done here." Finally, she raised her head, meeting Weiss' gaze with a small, content smile. "I've fulfilled my purpose, finished my journey." Her smile widened, eyes glossy with unshed tears. "And it feels good!"

Weiss stared back at her, mind running a thousand miles a second as realization settled in. After Ruby had run away in the Ever After she had been gone for days. Days that WBY and Jaune had spent looking for her everywhere. Until finally she came back, Neo with her, no longer trying to kill them.

There had been something different about Ruby after that. A sort of calm focus, as if she was certain of who she was and what she was meant to do for the first time since Beacon fell. Weiss should have realized that Ruby had experienced the same sort of Rebirth that the Afterans did, but she'd just been so happy to have her best friend back that she'd ignored the signs.

But now she understood. Ruby Rose had died and been reborn in the Ever After. Reborn with the purpose of saving Remnant. A purpose that she'd finally fulfilled.

Inhaling shakily, Weiss gave her partner a teary smile before pulling her into a hug. "I'm... I'm happy for you," she whispered, taking comfort in the warm embrace of her first friend, her best friend, for what she knew would be the final time.

As they pulled apart, Weiss subtly wiped a tear from her face, clearing her throat. Ruby laughed softly, shaking her head. "So what will you do next? Today's the first day of the rest of your life Weiss."

Weiss took a step back, fidgeting with her hands as she took a moment to think it over. "Well, you know I always imagined that I'd one day take over the Schnee Dust Company, turn it back into the company my grandfather wanted it to be." She paused, considering that old dream, knowing that wasn't the future she wanted anymore.

Ruby seemed to understand, her head tilting curiously, a knowing smile on her face. "And now?"

A smile slowly curled Weiss' lips as she bounced on her heels. "Now... I think I wanna keep moving. Go anywhere, everywhere!" There was an excitement to her voice as she began to pace back and forth under Ruby's watchful gaze. "There's so many people who need help and I want to help as many as I can!" She let out a laugh, running a hand through her freshly cut hair. "Brothers, I can't believe I'm saying this! It sounds so exhausting but-" Turning back to face Ruby, she froze, the smile dropping from her face.

Her partner was gone. As if she'd never been there at all.

Weiss looked around, whirling in place to look at every corner of the room. There was no sign of her.

Slowly, Weiss' shoulders slumped. With a sigh, she moved to leave, pausing in the doorway. Giving one last glance over her shoulder, she took in their old dorm room for the last time, her eyes landing on Ruby's dangling bed last.

"Goodbye Ruby," she murmured softly, reaching over to flick off the light switch. "You won't be forgotten." Gently, Weiss Schnee closed the door and walked away.

[cblgblog]

Hey. so that AU where Lilia Calderu is trying to ignore the world and do her thing in quiet in the early 2000s when her past and future self keep showing up to yell at her until she blinks and finds herself on the streets of Sokovia staring down two small recently orphaned and now homeless children, one of whom has the most terrifying magical aura about her. Or the Maximoff twins, raised by Lilia, and oh how they'd annoy the Avengers.

Oh my God, the chaos though. So much chaos.

Orphaned children who do not know who this random crazy woman is, and why should we go with you? Lilia who’s like, because I’m sick of talking to myself about you, that’s why. But also magics up some decent, warm clothes for them, some food. And hey, you’re welcome to stay in this Sokovian orphanage that looks like the most Dickensian, stereotypically bad orphanage I’ve ever seen, and I’ve lived a really long time.

Wanda and Pietro who think for awhile that Lilia must’ve been in some kind of explosion too. At least something that caused a head injury. Because they’ll be having a perfectly reasonable conversation—by Lilia standards—and then Lilia will just blurt out these random things that make no sense. They’re honestly kinda terrified she’s an escaped mental patient, especially when she starts going on about how Wanda’s a witch with all this untapped power.

“Like on Bewitched?” Because of course that’s where Wanda takes it.

And, mistake, because then there’s this 20 minute rant about how offensive and demeaning and stereotypical that show is, that the kids are just staring at wide-eyed, hoping Lilia interrupts herself with one of her random bits of gibberish. Alas, no dice that day, so they have to suffer her entire spiel about how terrible that show is, which just leaves Wanda deeply offended because shut up, she likes that show.

Pietro just, I don’t like it either, I told her it was stupid. Which gets him a “Good boy,” and a pat on the head from Lilia, not unlike what you’d give a dog.

Twins who think she’s absolutely lost it with this witch stuff, okay, okay, clearly Lilia has some weird ass hidden talents, but Wanda sure doesn’t. Until Lilia coaches Wanda into reading her mind, just a little bit, and oh, okay well, this is new. Wanda who immediately wants to learn more of that please, but no, nope, we’re starting out small, kiddo, you don’t need to be reading your brother’s mind.

Wanda asserts that there’s no trouble there, Pietro’s head is totally empty after all, and then Lilia’s refereeing a bickering match between 10-year-olds and just, sigh.

Lilia telling people that these are her poor, oh so tragically orphaned niece and nephew, and threatening to hex Pietro when he says grandchildren might be more convincing. She also totally uses them in her act, for cuteness and sympathy, oh how about a reading so I can feed my poor little orphan niece and nephews? Did I mention they were orphans?

Pietro grumbling about the unfairness of why Wanda gets cool witch powers and he doesn’t. They’re twins after all; shouldn’t he be a wizard or something? Wanda who lords her new skills over him at first, haha, look what I can do, then realizes that 1, it actually does make him feel bad, and 2—more importantly—he’s gonna be really boring to play with and unable to keep up with her if she doesn’t throw him some sort of bone.

Lilia comes down to breakfast one morning and suddenly Pietro has speedster powers, because of course he does, sigh. Well, that was nice of you, Wanda, sharing is caring, but also never do that again. Partly because it’s incredibly reckless and dangerous, mostly because it’ll now make my life even more complicated.

Lilia meeting up with a fellow witch for something, someone who clocks what Wanda is, or has the potential to be, and just, you have the most powerful magical being in the universe, someone who might be on track to destroy the world, you have this kid hanging out with you in your dumpy little shop shuffling tarot cards?

Lilia’s offense at that, I have a scared, orphaned child with me, who yeah might destroy the world, jury’s still out on that, but who is much, much more likely to do so if she’s running around with all this power and no training. Also, my shop is not dumpy, shut the fuck up.

Kids who are utterly thrilled when Tony Stark is missing and presumed dead, and look at Lilia with complete disgust when she has one of her walkabout moments and tells them Stark isn’t actually dead, he’s gonna come back and be a superhero and they’re gonna help save his life soonish. Twins just, no, absolutely not, thanks but no thanks, mom, we refuse, take away our allowance if you must but no.

And then stuff happens and they end up in New York where all these aliens are causing trouble and they wind up stopping Tony from having to fly into space with the nuke—he still makes the sacrifice play, he still tries to do the right thing, he just gets his play interrupted by a girl in a Hot Topic getup who’s really good at stopping missiles from going off, huh, who knew, where’d she learn that? Which stops Tony from having his Thanos visions and embarking on his descent into paranoia and ‘I must save the whole world by myself even though I literally just joined a team of really powerful co-workers who’s whole thing is helping each other save the world.’ Which ultimately stops the Civil War from going like it did, which in turn means the Avengers are whole and united when Thanos comes to Earth, and are able to stop him. Which stops the Snap, which stops Endgame, which means Tony doesn’t die.

So, Lilia is once again always right, much to the annoyance of the twins who really weren’t that interested in saving Tony’s life but eh, whatever, pluses and minuses to everything.

Also, Stephen Strange showing up at Lilia’s door at some point to discuss the twins because Lilia just, yeah, yeah, Sorcerer Supreme, whatever, such an ego, no, you’re not just whisking my kid off to your little health spa in Tibet, yeah, no, that’s not happening.  If you do, you're gonna have to take him with you, they're a package deal, yes even if he doesn't have magic.

Strange meeting Pietro and just, yeah, maybe I don't actually wanna do this after all, maybe we can discuss some kind of alternate arrangement for continuing her training.

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Where we go from here...

It took me awhile last evening to get my mind in the right place to do the baking I had to do. I thought I would put on some music on my little radio station to kick my head into work mode. Tried some Glenn Gould playing Bach (always a go-to for morning coffee music), and it didn't hit right.

So I dialed up the huge mix I have titled "1969-72" and almost immediately started the long road back to feeling like myself. After about a half-hour, I was in the groove. Listened to the mix far into the night, after I'd finished working.

I managed to keep my focus and got the cookies all baked, and kiddo's mom happily packed them up and just left for her party, and I'm over here for the next couple of nights, sadly for my back. Two nights of "No Mattress For Old Men" and I'll need a week to recover, but hey...

Wanna thank all y'all for your comments and messages when I posted that I was prolly just gonna go black. Y'all loved me back off the ledge. Posted in a moment of true despair...something I haven't felt in awhile. I am hurting for all of us...and all of you. I have never in my long life been scared for the nation until now. Or at least that's what I thought. This feeling of complete despair, the emotional pain of millions of people, the hopelessness, the fear for the future...after I sat with it awhile I realized yes, that I have felt this same combination of toxic shit before.

In the 65 years I've been on this stinkin' rock, I've been through a number of particularly devastating previous elections, most notably the two Bush2(Dumbya) regimes. I remember the night of the 2004 election...Americans were posting tearful photos taken by their webcams, with them holding up signs saying "We're sorry."

I saw first-hand all the fights for rights that we have gained from the early '60s onward. To find ourselves set back to square one, 50-60 years later, when we had finally gained some footing toward fairness, is cruel. And cruelty is what they will wield as their main weapons in the coming days, as we suddenly find ourselves in the same predicament as 1963-65 when a virginal Joan Baez and little Bobby Dylan changed protest music forever.

So yes, I have felt this same way, and no, the nation didn't die or descend into complete chaos. Our lives went on, essentially as they had, with a growing pile of "things we can't do anymore" heaped atop via the collective wounding of 9/11.

This is another collective wounding--an intentional collective wounding. The next few months are going to be chaotic, they will try to push through their agenda as quickly as possible come january.

I may not post much overtly political stuff from this point on, but if I do it will be refocused on positive news. I don't know for certain how long that might last, but I can't take a 24/7 barrage of bad news and outrage bait. I'm probably gonna unfollow a few blogs, but don't think it's personal...it is Mental/Emotional Health Care.

And yes, I've been in the trenches with y'all a long time...we are all Family at this point...Brothers and Sisters in arms. I'm not leaving, but my presence/role will be different, out of the renewed sense of self-preservation this has thrust me into.

I woke up disoriented, but quickly remembered I'd gotten what I needed to get done done, and had a slow re-entry, sipping my coffee for a couple hours. I kept remembering how well the music had helped me last night, and then the beginnings of what this might turn into began to coalesce. Concepts of a plan. lulz.

As the day went on, I've been on a roller-coaster, emotionally, with seemingly hopeful leads on a roommate not materializing, on top of my craigslist ad for a roomie getting flagged and deleted. Pretty goddamn hopeless as far as this situation is going.

Looked at the huge box of cookies I'd managed to bake last night and it hit me. I've been reblogging the "Gooood Morning, TUMBLR!" graphics every morning up until the election. The image of Robin Williams being in character calling up the role of the military DJ.

Back when I did my cafe in the mountains of NM, a friend lent me a book called "Radio Venceramos", about South American rebels who had a radio transmitter and clamped the leads to the barbed-wire fences to broadcast their signal/programming to their fellow rebels.

Still not sure how the format will work out, but I've decided: my new role is going to primarily be the voice of inspiration over the air-waves to my fellow rebels. Not sure if it will be a second blog or if it will be a continuation of PTSD, but with no further ado, I will become the Voice of my fellow rebels with:

I may make a second blog out of it, but until then I guess I'll make it a series of posts. Tumblr will let you blog up to ten videos/post, and that may be how I start things out. Consider them like stacks of 45s and LP tracks from my paul-shaffer-brain...meant to help keep spirits up and keep the focus.

Made a couple of graphics, will probably try others in the course of it.

So the message today was "You did what you had to do. Heal up for what's ahead."

I will probably start this new focus in the morning...I'm still chewin'.

[fakesimp]

Silent treatment, With Luxiem

Warning !

Fluff ; Hurt/Comfort ; Established Relationship

A/n : Part 2 of this fic, apologies it took awhile.. (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

➶◜◝➴

Ike Eveland

You have some guts to ignore this man.

When he realize you're ignoring him, he will try to figure out what is it that he do before till you do this to him.

He won't ask you about it at first, at least until he's completely out of ideas what mistake he did.

He will come up to you, slowly asking.

As he asked about it, he will examine your body movement.

Scenario !

You both had a little argument, and ike was the first to end the argument and left first.

But before he entirely left, he told you to calm yourself out then comeback talk to him again whenever you're ready.

He meant well, but he didn't expect you to entirely ignoring his existence in the house.

He tried to help you physically, multiple times. But you always seem to avoid him, his touch.

"älskling.. I'm getting worried, I did say take your time to calm your mind out. But, this.." Ike trailed off, he stared at his hand and then frowned. "Is there, Something I do wrong without me knowing?" He slowly asked you, he looked at you. Trying to see your face, but you looked away. Making him worried even more. "älskling, please. I wouldn't know what is it that I do wrong if you didn't tell me what that is..." He said, and he's not entirely wrong.

"I know we argued over something, that's small for us. If that's what you're still thinking of by now, then I deeply apologize if I hurt your feelings that much.." Maybe you're being a bit too much, maybe you're exaggerating things. You slowly turn your head to him. Both of you made eye contact, you broke it by looking down. Guilt washes over you, Disappointed on yourself, what did he even do until he deserved this treatment?

"I'm, sorry.. Ike, I, I just couldn't, help.. it. I'm-" You stopped in the middle of your sentence, you started fiddling with your hands, he then approached you. "Shh.. it's okay, take a deep breath.." He gently put his hands on top of yours, he then placed his hand on your cheeks. Gently rubbing his thumb on your cheekbone, he stared at you with a loving look in his eyes.

"It's okay älskling... It's okay, I'm sorry too, maybe I went too far on my words. If it does hurt you that much I deeply apologize. Really, I'm very, very sorry. I know I've apologized like a few minutes ago, but seeing you like this.. hurt me too.." He said as he wrapped his arms around you, "We both had a rough day, it's understandable why we can argue over the smallest mistakes." He continued as he gently run his hand through your hair. "It's okay, älskling.." he whispered again and kissed your head.

"Deep breaths," Ike said as he gently rubbing your back, and you did exactly what he said. Taking some deep breaths, "That's it, good.." he smiled and pat your head. "Come on, let's cuddle up on the bed shall we?" He said as he gently pull you by the wrist leading both of you to the bed room, after both of you laid down next to each other, you snuggled close to Ike. Listening to his heartbeat, also enjoying his warmth.

"Love you.."

"Love you too Ike.."

Shu Yamino

Silent treatment with this sorcerer, is. Something.

You give him silent treatment, he will do the same because he doesn't know what's wrong.

He wil give you some space to calm yourself down, even though he seems clueless on what he did wrong.

He will try his best to cheer you up, either being physically there.

Or it could be something that he made, or giving you gifts !

Anything that would make you smile again.

Scenario !

You were so out of it today, everything seems ruined.

You haven't even start the day ! And yet your mood is unexpectedly unpleasant this morning.

You look to the side to see the bed empty, void of your Lover's presence.

You got used to it, but today, you felt. Empty.

Getting out from the bed feeling groggy, you walk downstairs expecting your lover, Shu yamino at least in one of the rooms. Doesn't matter if it's in the living room or the kitchen, you just want to see him.

As you walk around the house, he is nowhere to be found. You sighed in frustration, you walked to the living room throwing yourself to the couch, grumbling incoherent words. And at that exact moment you heard a door opened, you slowly raise yourself from the couch, looking at the entrance of the living room to see a familiar raven head.

There he is, Shu yamino. Your beloved Sorcerer. Hands full with bags, of, groceries? He went out shopping? You look over at the clock, it's already 10 am. No wonder he's nowhere to be found. You woke up late, and both of you should've went out shopping together. But it seems like Shu doesn't have the heart to woke you up, so he left without you. You felt guilty for waking up late, but that doesn't mean the disappointment on not seeing Shu the first thing in the morning disappeared.

It's still there.

Both of you made eye contact for a second. You broke it off by looking away and laid back down on the couch, completely ignoring him. "Good morning babe, did you sleep well?" He asked as he walk to the kitchen and dropping the bags, he then went to the living room to see you laying down on the couch. He sat down nearby, "Still sleepy?" He pat your head. "It's okay, you can go back to sleep again, uhm, do you want me to grab the blanket?" He asked again, but no response from you.

Shu blinked, a bit confused, at first he shrugged it off. That is until almost all day, he tried to talk to you, but he got no response. He noticed you had been ignoring him, so with a heavy heart. He did the same, but not because he wanted to. It's because no matter what he said, you won't even reply to him ! And not just that, he's also clueless on what he did wrong until you acted this way.

When it's already time for dinner, the table is void of voices, only the sound of a clock ticking at the background. You felt a pair of eyes watching you from across, you had been fiddling with your food not eating them at all. You glance up, to see Shu also didn't touch his food. You look down at your food, feeling guilty now. "Shu.. look, I'm. Sorry, I'm just- out of it today, I, didn't mean to ignore you the whole day..." You finally talked, Shu who was staring at his food now finally looked up. You both made eye contact, "Did, something, happened..? While, I'm gone shopping for groceries??" He asked hesitantly, you slowly shook your head.

Shu frowned for a bit, then stood up from his chair, he slowly approached you and extend his hand towards you. "I know what you need, come on." You stared at his hand, you slowly then placed your hand on top of his. You look up at him again, his signature V-shaped smile slowly appeared. "Let's go see the stars." He said as he slowly lead both of you out to the backyard, looking up at the night sky. Covered with stars, you look up in awe.

"Thank you, Shu... I'm, sorry for. Ignoring you.."

"It's okay, I understand, maybe I should, you know, ask you about what's bothering you next time when you uncharacteristically goes like this again."

"Hahaha, thank you.. Love you, Shu."

"Love you too babe."

©fakesimp . 2023

A/n : I am very sorry if it's so, late. To upload the second part, also I'm sorry if it's too ooc.. (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E9 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

Content Warning: discussion of suicide, suicidal thoughts

My character/location cheat sheet:

Sir Kounen - an officer who died drinking

Lady Ah-Duo - one of the top 4 concubines

Fengming - head LIW to Lady Ah Duo

Garnet Palace - Lady Ah Duo's residence

Cryptic opening. The officers are gossiping and drinking. Someone puts something in a drunk man's drink. He's a man who has had a fall from grace, perhaps a former well respected officer or war hero?

Jinshi is sulking. Love this for him. Gaoshun drops this line:

The Jinshi I know would never give in to such childish behavior. The Jinshi I know would never become so attached to a toy.

Which is reinforcing the theme that Jinshi is changing and he's not willing to keep up pretenses.

I don't love that Gaoshun has once again refered to Maomao as Jinshi's toy.

Apparently Lady Gyokuyou took pity on Jinshi and told him the truth, that Maomao hadn't hooked up with Lihaku. So this misunderstanding is cleared up but there was still damage done. Jinshi wants Maomao to trust him, to be able to come to him if she needs something, but instead she made a deal with a virtual stranger.

Gaoshun fills us in a little on how things have been on Jinshi's side. The day Maomao left the palace, Jinshi had rushed through his work because he had been looking forward to seeing her. He arrived at Jade Pavilion only to find she had left with another man. A shock and a disappointment to someone who is used to being able to use his sparkles to seduce any woman.

Jinshi's trying to wear a lot of hats. Here we see him reviewing bills that have been submitted by bureaucrats. Is this something that the Rear Palace manager is expected to handle, or are these responsibilities those of a prince? Gaoshun pities Jinshi for his workload. He has mostly managed it up until now, the exception being the time after the Garden Party when he became exhausted. It seems that Jinshi often has his hands full but can manage it until something unexpected is added to the queue. Even though he is so busy Jinshi makes time to see Maomao, but it's funny because she interprets that as him being bored and not having anything more important to do.

It seems Jinshi's workload will grow tonight however. An important man, Sir Kounen has died. Based on Jinshi's reaction to the news, this man was more than a mere acquaintance. Perhaps someone he served with in the military or someone he grew up around in the palace?

He seeks out Maomao the next morning. There is absolutely nothing to indicate that this is anything other than what it looks like which would be an accidental alcohol poisoning, but Jinshi is struggling to accept what happened and he needs to hear it from Maomao to know if it's true.

To Jinshi something isn't right. Sir Kounen could handle his alcohol, this was too sudden. And yeah, Jinshi definitely knew this man personally. He's upset that the man is dead for more than professional reasons. Jinshi doesn't seem to have a lot of close relationships, and now he's lost someone he knew and cared for. The timing of this is also challenging for Jinshi. At a time when he is trying to build up his close personal relationships, he loses one instead. And he's still reeling from everything that has been going on with Maomao. It must feel alienating.

Maomao notes that something is off with Jinshi.

He's acting meek. Must realize he's asking for the impossible. I prefer dealing with his usually-shiny self. Then again, for awhile now, Master Jinshi has been behaving more like a child.

Jinshi has emotions about this case and he's not interested in hiding them. He shows Maomao his grief and despair, and she's not comfortable with that. After the Garden Party when Maomao was poisoned she saw an incensed Jinshi and she knew she was seeing his real self. She preferred his real self then. Now she sees his pain, and that isn't something she can heal. She doesn't like to see him suffer. She'd prefer to see him sparkle over this pain.

And this is the second time this episode that someone has referred to Jinshi as childish. What is going on? Is it just because he is showing some emotion that he's getting called childish?

He's making himself vulnerable in front of Maomao and she's not great with vulnerability. Not in herself. And not in Jinshi. She has no idea what to do with a vulnerable Jinshi. She would prefer to deal with the sparkly Jinshi, even if that is a mask he wears. She doesn't understand yet that there is no going back to that. And she's too afraid to move forward with Jinshi. They're at an impasse.

Jinshi gives Maomao the booze that was served at the gathering and she proceeds to binge drink. Trying to poison herself maybe? She asks that they look into something for her.

Maomao really is superior. After she has the report she requested she easily solves the case of what happened to Sir Kounen AND offers her conjectures! I'm personally glad to see it after her self recrimination about it last episode. Maomao really does have good intentions, she wants to help identify the culprit (even if she does have some guilt about incriminating someone) and because it's Jinshi, she knows she can tell him and her words will be given careful consideration. Even so Maomao is conflicted with having shared her thoughts. If her conjectures ever do prove false and someone is hurt because of them, Maomao will be devastated.

Maomao sees Jinshi's mourning tassel and realizes why he's been acting strange. She does a kind thing and asks him about Sir Kounen. Seeing Jinshi reflect fondly on his memories, Maomao thinks he looks like a "regular person."

I guess he is human, after all.

The mask is off and the emotions are out and Jinshi is suddenly relatable. Where as before Maomao viewed him as some lofty official so far above such things as love or grief, now, in this moment, he's just a person who has lost someone he cared about.

Jinshi takes note of everything, with everyone, but especially with Maomao. It did not slip his notice that she loves booze. So today he has a gift for her, which she sincerely appreciates.

This whole scene has been too real for too long, and both of them are feeling a little too exposed. There isn't enough trust yet between them to maintain this level of intimacy. So Jinshi breaks the tension by teasing Maomao. She responds by accusing him of slacking, which is a well targeted shot, because the man is drowning in work.

They're teasing each other here, but having a real conversation, as Maomao asks him a question about his work. Jinshi really is quick witted because he shares with her about a bill that would ban young adults from drinking, landing his own well targeted shot. And then we get a sparkle from him. Nothing makes Jinshi happier than bantering with Maomao.

We get just a short glimpse of Jinshi later that night. He's alone, he's drinking, but he's also smiling. For as shitty as his day has been, he's feeling hopeful again after meeting with Maomao. He had let himself be vulnerable in front of her and she offered him a compassionate listening ear, by asking him about his deceased friend. She also asked him about his work because she's interested in learning more about Jinshi. And their banter felt comfortable, like they were returning to a place where they still knew where they stand with each other. He sees that although she has set some boundaries she's still interested and she's reaching out in her own careful way. Jinshi is insightful and I doubt any of that that was lost on him. Hence, his smile.

A woman's body was found in the moat around the palace. The doctor is as inept as ever. He can't bear to look at a dead body. Maomao doesn't feel repulsed at all, but has been ordered not to touch dead bodies since she struggles not to cross ethical lines when it come to her obsession with medicine. Jinshi concurs. Though I have question if that is the whole truth of the matter.

We get a nice interaction between Jinshi and Maomao.

Jinshi: There're somethings even you won't do, then.

Maomao: I figured you'd show up eventually.

Jinshi is teasing, knowing that it's going to be taken well. Maomao is just happy he's there, because his support and encouragement really does make it easier for her to solve these cases.

How on earth is this doctor going to manage to do this autopsy? He's so incompetent and unfit for his job, that I have to wonder if his placement in the palace is intentional. It seems unlikely that someone like that could have earned his placement, instead perhaps he was appointed precisely because of his incompetence. Maybe so that nafarious deeds could be done without notice?

Maomao doesn't touch the body, but she's not giving up on the case. She makes her observations and she seems deeply sad as she thinks about what the dead woman must have experienced. She realizes what happened to this girl and that realization, along with all of it's ramifications are having a powerful effect on her. She's unguarded for a moment and Jinshi notices.

Jinshi reviews the facts of the case with Maomao, but what he really wants are her thoughts on it, and he asks for them. Her conjectures that her father told her never to speak aloud. Maomao's powers of observation, and curiosity are unmatched, which she demonstrates as she logically lays out her theory of what happened to the servant girl.

Maomao's mood is darker than we've ever seen it before. She knows this could have easily been her, after all she is merely a servant girl herself. Up until now Maomao has seen people suffer and die from incompetence like with the poisonous powder, through malice that was meant to tease or harm, but not kill like with the fish that was served at the Garden Party or even the salt in Sir Kounen's alcohol. She has even seen people attempt to murder those who may deserve it, like with the horrible client at the brothel. She managed okay with each of those, but this time the target was a servant girl. Someone who's life means nothing and is easily discarded by people in power if she becomes inconvenient. The girl who died was powerless, like Maomao. And now she is dead.

Maomao considers thoughtfully for a moment both suicide and murder. She confirms that she doesn't want to die and wouldn't kill herself, but her reasoning for wanting to live is thin; she wants to continue testing drugs and poisons on herself. And though she claims she wouldn't kill herself, she has thought of how she would do it, which is a sign of just how dark her thoughts have been.

Jinshi has noticed her mood and asks for her thoughts. Maomao is vulnerable in this moment. Something she usually tries to avoid, but she's so despondent right now, it seems that even her usual anxiety around intimacy is subdued. She's in too dark of a place to even care what Jinshi thinks right now. Or maybe she just thinks he really needs to her this.

She tells Jinshi that she's thinking about what kind of poison she would use to kill herself. And Jinshi is in no way equipped for this conversation. He's so competent on so many levels, and he's not afraid of difficult conversations, but in this, he's lost.

Maomao says of dying:

It's not something that I want. But there are malicious third parties out there, who would wish to cause harm to other people.

It's not me today, but it may be tomorrow.

She continues on, talking about the inevitably of death.

We wander through life, never knowing when it's our time. That's fate. There's no way of resisting it.

They both turn away from each other and take a moment to think over the people who have suffered or died lately, and neither one knows quite what to do or say. They are both privately experiencing their own crisis in this moment.

Why is there so much evil in the world? Why so much suffering? Does any of it mean anything at if death is the end result anyway?

Maomao has been at the side of so much trauma as an apothecary and that trauma is now in conflict with her motivation to heal. If people suffer and die and none of it matters, then what does it mean to be a healer? This is Maomao's dark night of the soul.

Jinshi flounders. Where is this coming from? What changed? He can't read her thoughts here, he's as lost as he's ever been with Maomao and has no idea what to do. And he can't help her, because he doesn't understand. Maomao's on her own.

Maomao: If you're tasked with executing me, could you make sure it is with poison?

Both she and Jinshi may be powerless to prevent her death if someone in power wants her dead, so she asks for the one thing Jinshi could control, the method of her execution.

It's so, so dark. Such a terrible thing to ask of someone who cares about you. She recognizes that and apologizes.

But she's not wrong about the fact that it could happen. If she makes a mistake as she said, or if those malicious third parties that she mentioned earlier were to conspire. And the order to execute would fall to Jinshi.

Jinshi: You realize that's not going to happen?

Jinshi is panicking internally. Why is she saying this?! Stop it!

Maomao: I am but a lowly commoner. My life is easily taken away over the slightest error.

Just like the servant girl who was found dead in the moat.

Jinshi: I would never do that!

Maomao: It's not about would or would not. It's more can or cannot.

Jinshi gasps and Maomao knows she's hit a nerve. Because here we are again with the insurmountable class differences and Jinshi's inescapable responsibilities that stymy their relationship every time they take a step closer. Because of her class, Maomao's life is expendable. Because of his position he has to order executions even if Jinshi doesn't like it.

While the two are talking the sun is setting, signifying the end of a chapter between these two, then Maomao leaves. Jinshi looks more lost than we have ever seen him.

Devastatingly, the case of the drowned serving girl was covered up as a suicide, further proving Maomao's assertion that the girl's life is expendable, and all of her work is meaningless. We get a shot of Maomao contemplating it as she watches time pass by her window. She's experiencing a crisis of faith and will have to find a reason to believe that her efforts matter before she can reclaim what drives her.

And we close on a scene between Jinshi and Gaoshun. If Gaoshun was concerned before that Jinshi was acting childish, he need not worry any longer. He's every bit the lofty inaccessible palace master now. His walls are back up and indeed, he's quite a bit colder with Gaoshun than we've seen before.

It's painful to see, when Jinshi has made so much progress in opening himself up. But his trails have never been about his feelings or making himself vulnerable, instead he has to face the expectations that are placed on him. Maomao always seems to hit him in the most painful spots. This time she said that there may come a day when his station requires him to execute her, and there would be nothing he could do to stop it. The prince is powerless to defy his responsibilities.

So maybe what we see in this scene is despair or at least a retreat. Like Maomao, Jinshi is also questioning what does any of it matter? Why should he bother trying to connect with others if the barriers of his status make it impossible? If he can't protect the people he cares about, maybe he shouldn't care about them at all. Having to execute Maomao would destroy him. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt if he didn't care so much.

We see Maomao's and Jinshi's character arcs running parallel here. Each of them facing their own crisis and retreating. But things have changed and there is no going back. They may be able to briefly pull away from their problems but soon they will be facing these same trials again, until they can overcome them.

We do gain a lead in the case from awhile ago that involved caustic chemicals on wooden sticks. It turns out that Fengming, who works for Lady Ah Duo is the suspect.

A super heavy episode, with devastating consequences.

Every time the lovers take a step forward they are pulled away. I'm barely over 1/3 of the way through this show though, so I suppose that's to be expected at this point in the story. There are many trials left for Maomao and Jinshi and they have a long way yet to go.

I like the way the relationships and the plot are building on each other and I have to appreciate the storytellers for adding so much nuance to it. The writing is phenomenal and the animation and voice performances are so good at telling it. Nothing is wasted. Not a single superfluous shot. I'm amazed that the animators are so good at expressing subtle and complex emotions. And the voice actors have been incredible about keying in to exactly what the characters are experiencing and cueing the audience into subtext. It's so well done, I really am loving this series.

If you want to read these from the beginning:

Episode 1

Next Episode:

Episode 10