#like hua cheng levels of terrible

[wonderlandhour]

TWST AU except General Lilia finds this random like, 8 year old human kid in the woods being raised by a bear and moves into the nearby cottage to help raise him because the bear is doing a decent job but he is human and should wear clothes and know how to speak.

This leads to everything else being mostly the same but Silver is mostly nonverbal, using sign more often than not, and is absolutely fucking feral sometimes. Jack thoroughly enjoys wrestling with Silver and Silver takes a fierce liking to him because of it. Sebek also grew up wrestling with Silver and sometimes to burn some energy, Malleus will also do so with his brother- I mean Silver. Bonus is that Silver likes Malleus's partial dragon form and enjoys grooming him. The purring happy puddle of Dragon is a very good thing.

[adragonthatwrites]

I love how HuaLian never have that "gasp, shock, how could you?!?!!" Lier revealed trope. It's like;

"That twink you met on that ox cart is actually a Ghost King!"

"So?"

...

"That sweet little trash God once committed terrible acts!!"

"Yeah I knew that already."

...

"That guy's been making countless statues of varying levels of appropriate of you for who knows how long!"

"Aw that's so sweet of him!"

...

Etc, etc

They also dodge a bunch of other potential pitfalls and fights merely by being acceptional communicaters!

When Xie Lian broke into Hua Cheng's house and stole his prisoner? He explains why he's there and that it's not a vendetta against Hua Cheng at all; just unfortunate circumstances.

Hua Cheng accidentally wounds Xie Lian during the previously mentioned encounter? They talk it out together (some through barely contained sobs) and establish that neither of them are mad, and it's all okay.

Hua Cheng gets caught pretending to be Lang Ying so he can hang out with Xie Lian when he was supposed to be relaxing? He explains that this is how he relaxes, and Xie Lian, while amused and confused, indulges him.

And I'm sure there are a ton of other examples I just can't remember right now. They are the kings of healthy communication I love them.

[sleepyburito]

another MDZS & TGCF crossover au

So! basically while in the Burial Grounds during the war, Wei Wuxian doesn't return alone.

Instead he returns with 2 companions, a man with a limp and a man dressed in very destroyed armour as if he was military. Their names? Mu Qing and Shi Qingxuan : )

Both are also demonic cultivators, not the same level of mastery as Wuxian but still, both are still pretty good at it

They stick with Wei Wuxian like there's a string forcing them together, hell they all even insist on sharing a room

No one knows what's going on, and no one is getting any answers except maybe the Jiang siblings. while it's odd, everything is going well after the Sunshot campaign. Then the Jin's labour camps are exposed, Wei Wuxian, Mu Qing and Shi Qingxuan take all the remaining Wen's and hide in the burial grounds.

While this is happening... Mu Qing takes a chance. He makes a prayer to an old... acquaintance. Qingxuan makes a prayer to an old friend.

Xie Lian wakes up with a start in the dead of night to two prayers. One the voice of someone he thought was dead for several centuries and the other the voice of someone he never thought he'd hear of again. He calls Feng Xin and they, plus Hua Cheng, pay a visit to Yiling.

There they find the burial grounds and are greeted by a tired but relived Shi Qingxuan. Feng Xin is still unsure of why he's there until... he sees Mu Qing. Tired, wearing terrible robes, concerningly thin but alive Mu Qing. (this also takes place the day Wen Ning wakes up and Lan Wangji visits)

When Qingxuan and Mu Qing rush off to the burial grounds, they're followed by the imortal trio who see the conditions they're living in. Then it turns out Lan Wangji, upon seeing Mu Qing and Qingxuan being followed, had also followed without being noticed.

and so! everything is out in the open to the other sects, the Jin's treatment of the Wen's, the Wei Wuxian golden core situation, everything.

For Mu Qing... it was him admitting how he could practice demonic cultivation with his cultivation path. He didn't have a core. He gave it to someone who needed it more. When the time comes, it's revealed that Mu Qing gave his core... to a young Hong-er in an attempt to save him from a life threatening injury before his death

long story short, Hua Cheng still had the golden core but he had no use for it so... he gave it to Mu Qing. Mu Qing begins cultivating normally, him and Shi Qingxuan reascend, Wangxian get married and you decide the rest of the ending

@wildlarkspurs

[fluffypurpleglitterdemon]

Ever since I learned that Xie Lian saved tiny child Qi Rong and defended him from bullies and that's where the little Qi Rong hero worship comes from I've been quietly losing it because it's just similar enough to Hua Cheng that he would hate it! There's quite a lot of differences, starting with the fact that Qi Rong did have other people (like Xie Lian's mom) and that his mom was able to leave her abusive husband before dying and go somewhere else where she had some support even if she still wasn't treated that great for a noble lady and that he was still a prince surrounded by riches and waited on by servants even if he was an outcast and laughingstock around his peers, and then even in terms of their choices after there's the fact that Qi Rong might say his violent behavior was defending Xie Lian but he barely listened to what Xie Lian wanted (Hua Cheng has also done bloody vengeance in defense of Xie Lian - 33 destroyed gods, 800 years of menacing and harassing fengqing - but now that Xie Lian is here to make these choices he isn't hurting people Xie Lian doesn't want hurt, even if they hurt Xie Lian terribly) and also there's the difference between "challenged 33 heavenly officials who actually physically hurt Xie Lian to a fight and then made them hold up their end of the agreement" and "tracked down and beat up the child Xie Lian went out of his way to save because saving them got Xie Lian in trouble" or " threw things at Xie Lian's shidi/servant for temporarily upstaging him at the performance they both planned out and worked on together". Most importantly is that Hua Cheng doesn't have Xie Lian up on a pedestal (at least, not one he can fall from), he doesn't have a perfect idealized version of him in his head, he's not getting disillusioned with differences between his idea of Xie Lian and the real thing - like Qi Rong was, and like he did, and that led to more and more fights between Qi Rong and Xie Lian until (presumably, I haven't actually gotten there yet) Qi Rong was disappointed with the reality of Xie Lian and the temple burning and kneeling statues and such came of it. (Somewhere in the first arc Xie Lian says something about that to Hua Cheng, about not having that level of devotion for someone you actually interact with because you might find out they were different than you thought, and I wonder if he might have said that thinking of Qi Rong specifically as much as the worshippers of Xianle as a whole.)

So it's not a perfect Dark Mirror situation, there's quite a lot of differences, but there's enough similarities it's pinging my parallel detectors... I think there's enough room to make a comparison there, or to call attention to some of those similarities, and that Hua Cheng would viscerally and immediately hate it if such a comparison was made. I can imagine and wonder about a situation where Qi Rong got de-aged, or hit by some amnesia curse or memory-stealer, or some other nonsense that'd lead to a Little Qi Rong running around, and wonder if that Qi Rong would look at Hua Cheng and approve xD Would he see Hua Cheng's devotion to Xie Lian and go "Ah yes, that's an appropriate way to act around Cousin Crown Prince! Finally someone else who's a normal amount of angry when Cousin Crown Prince is insulted!"? Hua Cheng would despise just absolutely all of that xD

[abigail-nicole]

tgcf liveread 7

continuing porting my liveread of Pure Light And Joy In Novel Form, Heaven Official's Blessing, Tian Guan Ci Fu, from the dying twitter to the optimistically-not-dead tumblr. please support official translations of TGCF, the best novel, and maybe someday we'll get to see the COMPLETED, FILMED, EDITED LIVE ACTION if the chinese government ever quits being ragingly homophobic. enjoy season one of the donghua in the meantime and do read the original text!

originally tweeted on 3/31/2020:

I unabashedly love Xie Lian’s thrifty grandma personality & also the casual “wanna come to my ghost palace instead of always staying at your one-room apartment with three other people also living here which I never complain about even though I own a fjking palace”

I have Great Fondness for the ghosts in Ghost City being overly protective of Hua Cheng & Xie Lian (even if it is just to try to curry favor)

hahahaha oh my god this scene of sexytimes on an altar on top of poetry about Longing....

I’m. VERY PUMPED ABOUT SEEING MOUNT TONG’LU

tomorrow. i guess ill be responsible & start CHAPTER 128 TOMORROW THANKS EVERYBODY THIS IS THE ONLY THING BRINGING ME JOY AS I WORK THRU THIS PANDEMIC

yall Lang Ying THOUGHT HUA CHENG LIVED WITH THEM im dying....

He didnt think he could hide his feelings HE DIDNT THINK HE COULD HIDE HIS FEELINGS HEAAAAAAAAA

He’s really going straight WE USED TO SLEEP IN THIS BED TOGETHER level melancholy oh my god

This is a little nightmare story, the kind at which MXTX excels

Oh my god hes the crown prince of PINING AWAY TO NOTHING

okay mxtx it is Not At All Obvious that Hua Cheng is this Lang Ying & this gratituitious bathing scene is.... amazing omg

more like dianxia babysitter of errant dieties

-shi qingxuan

-quan yizhen

-qi rong

Heavenly Babysitter Dianxia confirmed with DONT PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH and DONT SET THAT ON FIRE

Think of the donghua playing with this scene of attacking empty clothes

his whole “this is the robe! no THIS is the robe! just kidding it was never here! now ive trapped you!” feels a little Princess Bride iocane powder reasoning

the boyfriends being Soft sustains me

hahahahahahaha god xie lian’s cooking is so amazingly terrible how is this book so great in its most domestic scenes

OUR BOY SNAPPED

bitches destroy Puqi Shrine gotta contend with the Flower Crown Martial Prince

hahahaha hua cheng really had to turn into a child for Flimsy Plot Reasons didn’t he

this Ghost Inn scene is pure chaos and slapstick & detail & action, and this is the cherry on top of the elaborately-crafted layers of this cake of a scene

Im sad about ling wen???? I love her???? She’s the most competent character in this book sorry hua cheng

“He might spit in the water of someone he doesn’t like....or put laxatives....but not poison...” Lolololol

Let’s pause mid-investigation so we can appreciate hualian holding hands

fetuses don’t have teeth......LIES EXPOSED

fetus eyes also don’t yoke together in utero this is a real medical fact unrelated to the fetus ghost in tgcf

ah yes, sitting in the window in the glowing, luminious moonlight, with your weapon-pet-scarf, an excellent time for a heart to heart confessional with your beloved

this is on level with Single Plank Bridge as a life philosophy / love confessional

so many important scenes happen over a table here. Jun Wu + Xie Lian + Hua Cheng taking tea without dissembling is A Mood

“Sometimes three with a single move” Lololol I Love Him

This adorable little exchange where they just talk about how much they belong to each other

Let’s stop here a second, pause the film on Puppet Master boyfriends, and do a bit of Plot Dissection:

-Jun Wu has sent Xie Lian to Mt TongLu to...become the next Ghost King

-Hua Cheng, the most recent Ghost King, is with him

-don’t you have to kill all the other ghosts to win

Let’s also stop & think about our Magical Girl Dianxia becoming A Ghost King:

I have no idea how this plot is gonna turn out but it’s always fun & fruitful to examine your thoughts & expectations the first time through something & wonder why you want or fear a certain outcome

Hua Cheng would be devastated if Xie Lian became a fierce ghost king capable of murdering millions. In fact it’s so antithetical to everything he is that, at that point, Xie Lian wouldn’t be the same person anymore.

(contrast this to wwx & lwj, both of whom have proven themselves capable of Big War Murder when pushed hard enough)

he contrast of soft sideplot of boyfriends being The Most Obviously In Love But Afraid To Say It and the extremely harsh main plot of What The Fuck, Did God Just Send Xie Lian Into A Literal Torture Volcano With Like, Real High Stakes

... but also does anyone else wanna see ghost king boyfriends

these gays obviously

but this plot, lighthearted flirting aside, is going to a real dark place??? & i see the end of book 3 coming with xie lian in a real bad cliffhanger of a situation for me to sit through while reading another painful flashback

Lolololol more fuckin on the altar i guess

The General Who Broke His Sword !!!!

let’s take a roll call:

(check) the general who broke his sword

(check) the prince who pleased the gods

[ ] the princess who slit her own throat

(check) the young lord who poured wine

OKAY BRING OUT THE REST IM READY!

continue Mt Tong'lu next time on TGCF Liveread livetweets part 8 or whatever part is next!

[the-danmei-multiverse-and-angst]

Another Danmei Poll!

I've read a lot of Danmei but novels, my favorites I remember off the top of my head and others, I don't quite remember as well. I did read some of the novel Guardian and Drowning Sorrows but dropped them because I wanted to read the complete TL. I think each character's pining is sad and tragic in its own way, like different levels, and anyone can put who they feel waited the longest, but if we're being like...well let's just say...Misvil...in my opinion after reading it and knowing the estimated possible time ML waited when you learn every thing once its all revealed...is well over 1,000+ years. And I mean...wayyy beyond 👀. And Misvil is pretty heavy on angst too but with a light undertone (idk if I'm even explaining it right, sometimes I really am terrible at explaining things)....but so it doesn't seem as heavy? Despite major heavy TWs/content warnings when you look up the info/Carrd version which is more detailed than Novel Updates. But when you find out everything when it's all revealed like....🥹❤️‍🩹. It's actually really nice and...

But anyway, like preference wise and opinions...which do you choose?

And if there's a novel I haven't read and an ML that also pines for MC for a long time, I'd love to hear about it. Or let me know if I've left anyone out. 😊

MDZS, Nan Chan, Misvil, Sword Named no way out, and Yuwu, which isn't listed here are definitely favorites besides HOB and others I haven't mentioned. What are your favorite novels? Or your top tier favorite?

[fullmetalpotterhead]

Hello, I had some more HuaLian thoughts...

Even in terms of being expressive, they're opposites. Xie Lian, through the years, has learned to smile and keep most of his thoughts to himself even when it might be good for him to rather speak up (and also because he IS kinda unhinged which would be something they both have in common)

Anywayyy, there's Hua Cheng on the other hand, who feels everything rather intensely and expresses it the same way. Where honesty is requiree, he speaks, no filters. (I can't imagine the restraint he must have had to contain his simping around Xie Lian, though) He may or may not understand everything he may feel but he sits through it anyway.

Xie Lian seems to be helpless when he's confronted with his feelings? (Idk if that makes sense) But the way he was bawling his eyes out in the end in THE chapter without caring about anything else just goes to show how hard he fell for Hua Cheng.

It seems like my thoughts are all over the place... Oops

I am lapping up your thoughts like a thirsty puppy on a hot day. Furthering your thoughts with my thoughts in the read more because saying things around me a dangerous game to play

I think Hualian are actually so interesting about being open/closed off.

Because like yes XL has mastered his customer service face but also HC is incredibly good at reading him anyways, at watching for any little tells of anything wrong and adjusting accordingly and I think because of that XL really feels like he can rely on and open up to HC

The problem is XL has no practice doing that. Even more he kind of closed off emotionally XL didn’t really complain about his feelings or open up. He was the shining crown Prince. He was a young god. He was expected to know things and be the bigger person and mostly he was! But he’s old enough now to realize when he needs help. He’s just not practiced in receiving in. He’s not practiced in letting himself feel his feelings and HC recognizes that.

HC works really hard to make it explicitly clear to XL that he can be vulnerable around him, that it doesn’t make HC think any less of him, that the chance to soothe his god is an honor! And that’s new for XL but he does trust his husband and cries for him and tries to make an effort to find words for the desires and pains he usually masks.

And HC is so honest! He will honestly tell you how much he hates you or loves you and all the terrible things he’s done but he also shys away from showing actual weakness. There’s this thing some people do that’s like Repression+ where when you first meet them you’ll be struck with how open and honest they are about their feelings and trauma. But over time you realize they actually aren’t. They’re coming out with the heavy/honest stuff they want to tell you and appearing transparent because they can control the narrative that way. They don’t have to actually open up about what hurts them because you think they already did, but really they just gave you a surface level snapshot. It holds other people at arms length.

HC doesn’t hide his feelings. There is nothing subtle about the way he interacts with XL, he never acts while he’s in disguise, he openly tells people how he thinks their trash. But he has a very hard time being vulnerable. He draws inward when he’s upset about XL’s pain. He hesitates to show XL the temple, he tries to essentially run away from the conversation about the cave of ten thousand gods. He doesn’t even ever tell XL he ascended, Guoshi does.

HC is honest, but he’s very much in control of the narrative he’s projecting. And XL understands that and doesn’t pry more than he has to. XL is patient and encouraging and by the end of the book we find out XL has helped HC feel at liberty to shamelessly ask for what he wants more often.

XL hides his emotions to the point he doesn’t know how to express him, so HC remains steady, stable, and gives just enough of a push that XL can help find what he needs to express his wishes.

HC flaunts his emotions while hiding all the soft spots he’s most attached to so no one can use them to hurt him, so XL is patient, gentle, and reassures the lost inner cursed child HC has that he’ll be loved and accepted no matter what.

The heart of their relationship is based on their mutual enjoyment of each other’s company and this space to be vulnerable they’ve crafted for each other and I just *screams*

[nyerus]

What motivates Xie Lian to keep wanting to save people at any cost or regardless of what consequences it may bring for him? Like I understand why he had that mentality when he was the crown prince, it was because he was young and naive and he actually thought he could save anyone or anything. But after his banishment and in his current present time, I don't understand why he still wants to save every single person he comes across. I mean hasn't he learned his lesson after all this time? Wanting to saving people isn't the problem here, the problem here is that sometimes he can't save them or that he puts himself at risk and completely disregards himself over and over again. He just can't stop himself from saving people no matter what. Just why, why does he do that? Just look at that scene in book 5 where Mu Qing is about to die by falling into lava. It seemed like there was nothing that they could do and Mu Qing was really going to die, but then Xie Lian manages to save him by risking his own life in the process. Why, just why does he keep on wanting to save people no matter what?

I think to make a long story short, that's just the type of person Xie Lian is!

Of course, it's always a treat to drive deeper into his motivations. So first, we'll start off with exploring what Xie Lian was like in his Crown Prince days, because while he does change from that, his core beliefs remain largely the same. They're tweaked by experience, but Xie Lian always held the belief that people were worth helping, because they are no different than you or I. He had lofty goals of saving everyone at the time, and that he grows out of -- but I'll speak about that a little later. Keep it in mind though! Xie Lian has also always been the type of person to use what he has -- physically or otherwise -- as a means of actually helping some. Back when he was a prince, we saw him use his privelege to shield others -- like Mu Qing from the bullies, and Hong Hong-er multiple times. After all, there were very few people who had any power over him. Later as a god, this was taken to yet another level. Xie Lian was said to exhaust himself answering prayers -- simply because he could.

After his downfall, Xie Lian is obviously stripped of all such privilege and power. But during his long banishment, he still uses the same methods. It's just that he cannot use his privilege or spiritual powers -- but he can use his undying body. This very much becomes a bad habit of his. Honestly, this is an extremely important theme in the novel, and one that bears more exploration on its own. (I have a whole meta planned for it, please look forward to it one of these days.) It's also a habit that Hua Cheng tries to break, for Xie Lian's sake. Xie Lian treats himself as disposable because, subconsciously or not, that's sort of how he sees himself. That's how he's been treated.

Alright, all that aside for another time, why does he continue to care about the common people? I think this is a trickier question to answer because, well, why do any of us care about random strangers? Because they are fellow humans, worthy of respect, and we should do right by them. They all have a story, and they all deserve help when they need it, just as we ourselves do. I'd argue that it's in our nature to care about those around us, even if they are totally unrelated to us. And even though humans can be terrible and commit heinous deeds, there are kind and compassionate people out there who make it all worth it. Xie Lian certainly believes these things, though his notions of what it means to help people changes.

When he was young, he very much wanted to save everyone. As I mentioned before, this is one part of what he kind of grows out of. By the middle of his journey, he knows that it's impossible to save everyone. He alone cannot change all of society no matter how much power he attains -- it's sort of pointless, and unattainable. You just can't change everyone's mindset. But what isn't pointless is simply to help the people you come across. This can be big, like stopping great calamities in a grand sacrifice. Or this can be small, like offering a bamboo hat to a stranger drenched in the rain. You never know when a small act of kindness will save someone, or what effect it will have on them for the rest of their life. Perhaps they too will go on to help others, paying it forward, and slowly the world may become kinder and gentler. Or it may not. But even if it doesn't, we have to try. That's why Xie Lian is so adamant in this pursuit. He knows fully what he's up against, that the odds are insurmountable. That he will never reach the summit of his climb. But he is simply believes that it is the right thing to do to keep going, and to keep trying. To keep helping others even if it comes at a cost to himself -- because that cost is something that he, personally, feels that he can afford. Other people, more pragmatic than he, think of him as foolish for this relentless pursuit. But Xie Lian is not the type of person to care about that. He set his heart on something, and he will not change. That's something he shares with Hua Cheng.

Importantly, one of the most important thing Hua Cheng imparts on Xie Lian is the realization that he is not expendable. That there has to be a way to help others without using the path of least resistance and just getting hurt due to the fact that he'll bounce back. In the example that you mentioned, with Mu Qing and the lava, Xie Lian actually takes time to think of a safe way forward. He does not consider letting Mu Qing just falling an option, so he has to deliberate on how to get to him quickly and without himself getting hurt. By this point, Hua Cheng has not only pointed out Xie Lian's self-destructive tendencies to him, but has asked him to be more careful with himself (plus will tell him that again, later on). It's started to sink in by then.

Xie Lian isn't the type to sit by while someone is in trouble, and never has been. He's even very self-aware of this, and knows it's inconvenient. Sometimes, he even expresses sentiment that he doesn't want to get involved in a situation, but often does any way because it's simply the right thing to do.

[three--rings]

If there is ONE costuming thing I’d like to see cdrama costuming improve it’s the fucking LEATHER.  As in, I would like them to use some.  I cannot get over the faux leather arm guards/bracers they put on everyone.  It’s terrible and there’s so much attention on arms/hands and it would look so much better with real leather.  Like, I get it, most costumers come from clothing design backgrounds and don’t know any leatherworking, so it’s natural to reach for fake stuff and sew it together.  But making something like a bracer out of leather is literally simple as anything and only slightly more expensive.  I’ve done it multiple times.  You don’t have to get into detailed leather tooling or anything, you can just stain it/paint it with whatever and add decorative rivets.  Attach trim with simple studs.  Like this is Watch One Youtube Video levels of costume making IMO.  I went to one convention panel on leatherworking and have made a variety of leather accessories.  

There’s just something in my soul that dies every time I see someone with thin plastic bracers over their pretty costumes, loose and floppy and not holding their shape.  It’s like putting someone in plastic armor, it just reads terribly. 

Anyway, yes, this rant brought to you by the most recent Hua Cheng pics but also Wei Wuxian’s completely terrible off the rack fake stud tape crap bracers.

[heavensturtle]

Day 7: Free Day

A short fic for Day 7 of Xie Lian’s Birthday Week!

- - -

Note: So, I realize I’m posting this on day 9, I could just not keep a schedule this week.

Also, if you know me at all you know I need rules, free days are not good for me. So, my self-imposed prompt for today is writing about Xie Lian’s fears in a modern AU.

Also, this is again unedited. Good luck!

Spoiler alert: This is an AU, so technically no spoilers today!

- - -

It begins, as it always does, with the sound of rain on the roof.

Xie Lian rises from the futon where he’s been napping and races to the front closet to pull out the buckets he keeps expressly for this purpose. His hands are already shaking.

“Should have…” he scolds himself, should have fixed this weeks ago.

The small, dilapidated house on the edge of town was barely habitable when Xie Lian moved in a few months ago, but even so, it had been a vast improvement over where he’d been before.

Xie Lian hadn’t exactly minded sleeping in cars or in doorways or on the couches of friends who weren’t his friends any more. He hadn’t exactly minded the looks or the way people would turn and walk the other way when they saw him taking a rest from collecting bottles for the recycling center.

He hadn’t exactly minded, but he hadn’t exactly not minded, either.

Xie Lian runs to the guest bedroom, which is currently furnished with a bed, a nightstand, and a slowly growing wet spot on the wooden floor. Xie Lian places a cracked bucket underneath the drip.

For a long time the bed had just been a mattress placed directly on the floor, until one day Hua Cheng had turned up with a hammer and nails and proceeded to turn some scrap wood Xie Lian had been collecting for unspecified projects into a bedframe that looked like it belonged in a catalog. He’d built the nightstand almost as an aside. And suddenly, the room was transformed from poor to tastefully spare.  

Xie Lian has more drips to catch, so he rushes to the hallway to place his second bucket, and as he does so he catches sight of the painting Hua Cheng gifted him (Hua Cheng claims to have found it at a thrift store, but the signature in the corner, when Xie Lian had removed it from its frame one day, looked suspiciously like Hua Cheng’s name). He rushes to his bedroom to catch another drip, then to the kitchen, where the table Hua Cheng built out of more scraps fills the empty space by the oven, making the room feel cozy.

He’s just placing the last bucket under the drip by the back door when he hears the sound of the front door unlocking.

“Gege, are you home?” Hua Cheng calls. Hua Cheng has a key to the house; Xie Lian had insisted on giving him the spare when Hua Cheng had installed the lock only days after meeting Xie Lian. Hua Cheng had refused for several more days, saying Xie Lian should give it to someone he trusted, not seeming to realize that that person was him.

Hua Cheng should just let himself in, but instead he waits by the open door. Once, Xie Lian had pretended not to be home, just to see what would happen. Hua Cheng had closed the door, locked it again, and left, and Xie Lian had been left with an odd sense of bereavement.

“San Lang!” he calls, emerging from the little room by the back door to greet Hua Cheng. He runs across the main room and skids to a stop in his stockinged feet just in front of Hua Cheng, unable to contain his smile. Hua Cheng smiles back and holds up his hand as though to steady Xie Lian. When he sees Xie Lian isn’t going to fall over, he drops it. Xie Lian feels a little bereft.

Then he remembers the leaks.

“Ah, San Lang, maybe you could come back tomorrow? Now’s not a good time…” but he has nowhere to be, and can think of no reason why Hua Cheng shouldn’t also be here.

“Ah, but gege, I found something I wanted to try to cook with you?” Hua Cheng holds out a bag of groceries, and Xie Lian’s throat tightens.

Xie Lian spent years eating food picked out, or thrown out, by others, but when Hua Cheng brings him food it’s a categorically different experience. Hua Cheng asks him what he likes and dislikes, and doesn’t seem at all impatient when Xie Lian doesn’t know how to chop onions or peel a tomato or any of the rest of it. He simply puts his hands over Xie Lian’s and shows him.

“Oh! Uh-” Xie Lian stops talking, because a new drip has just begun, right over his head. A drop hits his forehead and rolls down to the tip of his nose.

“San Lang…” he feels his face grow hot. This is too much, Hua Cheng is going to see the buckets and realize just how poor of a caretaker Xie Lian is. With anyone else, Xie Lian wouldn’t spare it a thought. But Hua Cheng isn’t anyone else.

“Gege,” Hua Cheng chuckles, reaching out and wiping the drop from Xie Lian’s nose. For a terrible second Xie Lian thinks he’s about to lick it from his finger, but then Hua Cheng wipes it on his shirt and Xie Lian lets out a sigh.

“San Lang, this is just-”

“Your roof giving you trouble?” Hua Cheng finishes.

Xie Lian hangs his head. He really can’t look at Hua Cheng.

“I’m sorry, my house isn’t really suitable for company right now,” he admits.

Hua Cheng makes a small noise, and Xie Lian looks up. Hua Cheng is giving him an inscrutable look.

“Gege. If you want me to leave I will, but if this is about your roof, it’s really no problem at all, we can just fix it tomorrow.”

Xie Lian shifts uncomfortably, but it’s still raining hard, and he’s sure that Hua Cheng is getting cold in the doorway. Xie Lian is.

He moves to the side. “San Lang, please come inside.”

Hua Cheng beams, steps inside, and opens his arms. His coat is open and Xie Lian slips his arms inside when he goes to hug Hua Cheng, avoiding the wet exterior of his red peacoat.

Hua Cheng makes a soft choking noise.

“San L-” Xie Lian starts to pull back, but then Hua Cheng is pulling the edges of his coat around Xie Lian and Xie Lian’s house isn’t that cold but being cocooned inside Hua Cheng’s coat feels better. He lets out another sigh.

“It’s warm in here,” he mutters, and Hua Cheng wraps his arms around him.

“Gege, what’s this about?” Hua Cheng asks.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” he says.

Hua Cheng tightens his hold.

“Oh! San Lang! Your dinner,” Xie Lian extracts himself from Hua Cheng. Then he  picks up the bag of groceries that’s been discarded by Hua Cheng’s feet and takes it to the kitchen. Hua Cheng comes in a bit later, coatless, as Xie Lian is unloading everything onto the kitchen table. Xie Lian notices that Hua Cheng is wearing a black shirt that looks very good on him.

Hua Cheng has brought ingredients for at least three different meals, but tonight he wants to make the Korean version some sort of chicken dish. As they’re about to start putting things into the frying pan, another drip starts, just above the stove. The raindrop sizzles on the hot pan.

“Oh no,” Xie Lian buries his face in his hands. This really is too embarrassing.

Hua Cheng, who is standing next to Xie Lian ready to pass over ingredients, laughs delightedly.

“Gege, it seems we need another bucket to protect the food.”

“San Lang, please,” Xie Lian begs, the sound muffled.

“It’s fine, we can use a lid, and after tomorrow you won’t have to worry about it.” Hua Cheng pulls out a lid that’s much too large. “A little rain-hat,” he explains, holding it above the pan. He’s smiling at Xie Lian like he’s immensely pleased with himself.

Xie Lian stares at that smile for a long, quiet moment. Then: “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” Hua Cheng sets the lid on the pan. A drop hits it and rolls off the side.

Xie Lian watches the drips landing on the lid, avoiding Hua Cheng’s face.

“San Lang, you’ve been so kind, but I can’t let you keep helping me.”

“Why not?” Hua Cheng’s voice sounds tinny, but maybe that’s just from the blood pounding behind Xie Lian’s ears.

“Because I don’t live here,” he admits, letting out a shaky breath.

Hua Cheng puts a hand on Xie Lian’s wrist, and Xie Lian turns to meet his eyes.

Hua Cheng is staring at him intently, focused. He can see Hua Cheng’s throat bob as he swallows.

“Gege, you do live here,” he says, “This is your home.”

Xie Lian shakes his head. He’s trembling now, and he knows Hua Cheng feels it because Hua Cheng takes hold of his hand and holds it, tightly.

“Actually, I’m homeless.”

Xie Lian doesn’t remember ever feeling afraid before, but in this moment, with Hua Cheng holding his hand and the frying pan gently smoking on the stove, he’s terrified.

He has something to lose, now.

“It’s not my house,” he goes on, “I found it. I, well, I moved in shortly before I met you. And I’ve just been waiting this whole time for someone to come take it away.”

He braces for the moment when Hua Cheng lets go of his hand. For when he asks what, exactly, Xie Lian was doing before he broke into someone’s house. For when he gets up and walks away.

None of that happens. Instead, Hua Cheng starts rubbing Xie Lian’s palm with his thumb. “They won’t take it away,” he says quietly.

The warmth radiating from Hua Cheng’s hand competes with the cold gripping Xie Lian’s heart. “How do you know?” he asks.

“I checked.”

“You- what?” Xie Lian’s mind is tripping over itself, trying to understand.

“I knew you were squatting when I met you, gege. You didn’t even have a lock on your door. So I checked the laws. You have squatter’s rights. You can stay in this house as long as you want to. You just have to take care of it, and after five years it’s yours if you want it.”

“You knew?” Xie Lian feels limp, all the nervous energy drained out of him.

Hua Cheng smiles brightly and tugs on Xie Lian’s hand until Xie Lian moves closer. Then he wraps his arms around Xie Lian, holding him close. Xie Lian presses himself against Hua Cheng, feeling Hua Cheng’s heart beating rapidly like it’s his own.

“Of course I knew. So I installed a lock. And helped you level the floors. And tomorrow we’ll fix the roof, and then we can start building your garden beds. And then, we can start filling this house with whatever you love most.”

Xie Lian swallows hard. The words slip out before he can stop them:

“With you, then?”

Hua Cheng laughs, a deep rumble that Xie Lian wants to never stop.

“This is your home, gege. But I’d be honored to be a part of it.”

Xie Lian smiles, hiding his face in Hua Cheng’s shirt.

“You already are.”

[hualianff]

Untethered (Bonus I) 《III》

In the Shadow of Ghosts — The Newton Brothers

Three years ago….

Tap. Tap.

Xie Lian thinks he imagines it at first. After all, it had been a long day of handling commoners’ affairs, entertaining visiting royalty, and carrying out other menial tasks that are required of him as a prince. Not that he minds too much. Xie Lian thoroughly enjoys helping whoever he can and making the kingdom a better place for his people.

But it is exhausting work, and takes both a mental and physical toll on Xie Lian. This is why more often than not, on busy days like this, he requests the servants to have a bath drawn right before he retires to his room for the night. The steaming hot water mixed with Xie Lian’s favorite-scented bath salts loosen his muscles wonderfully, as well as clear his senses.

In the dimly lit washroom, Xie Lian lets himself unwind. It’s a gradual process, one that his body initially rejects after being so wound up for hours on end. Xie Lian lathers a dollop of lavender oil along his waist-length hair, holding it above the water to let the oil properly soak in before rinsing it under the spout.

Simply put, Xie Lian chalks the strange noise up to his restless mind making him hear things that are not there. It wouldn’t be the first time it happened.

Besides, who in their right mind would dare break into a prince’s bedroom chambers, where royal guards surround the premise?

Tap.

At the dusk of twilight?

Tap!

Xie Lian is sure no one is crazy about him enough to scale the palace walls to the third level-

Tap.

-except for someone coming to assassinate him!?

Tap tap tap tap tap-

Okay, now that he didn’t imagine. That incessant tapping is very real.

“Goodness me-” Xie Lian mutters, dunking his head under the water in a lame attempt to hastily clean his hair. He then stumbles out of the tub to grab a gown, flinging it around his body to cover himself up.

Luckily, there are no windows in the washroom. The doors also remain shut, providing the prince with the utmost privacy during his bath times, but also serving as a protective barrier at this moment. However, the distinct tapping continues, clearly coming from the other side of the doors.

Against his better judgment, Xie Lian flattens himself against the wall next to the entrance and knocks back.

The tapping stops.

A muffled “Your Highness” follows in response.

Xie Lian’s stomach violently drops at the familiar drawl. It couldn’t be...

“Prince Xianle,” his tempter calls again.

Xie Lian quietly gasps.

The prince cautiously opens the doors leading into his bedroom. He spots a silhouetted figure standing outside on his balcony, and if the build and height were not a familiar sight, Xie Lian would certainly be freaking out more. By subconsciously wrapping the robe tighter around himself–Xie Lian realizes just how flimsy and inappropriate the garment is for others to set eyes on–and approaches the glass doors

He also realizes he does not care.

Xie Lian pulls aside the sheer, golden velvet curtains.

A lanky, strong-built man in dashing red attire greets him through the glass. Xie Lian’s eyes bulge impossibly wide, mouth parting in surprise.

Crimson Rain grins like the devil he is. He doesn’t say anything more, letting the devious look in his eye do the speaking. When the pirate captain lifts a palm to lay flat against the glass door’s surface, Xie Lian feels a growing urge to intertwine it with his own.

Xie Lian places his own palm on the opposite side of the glass. He knows how terrible of an idea it is to enable intruders onto palace grounds, to let Hua Cheng in and the detrimental repercussions awaiting if they were found out.

City of Stars – Yan Chaojie

Th-th-th-th-thump. Hua Cheng drums his fingers upon the glass, raising an expectant eyebrow. Xie Lian stubbornly shakes his head, making a cutting motion at his neck. The pirate seems to take this as a challenge. He can probably see how close Xie Lian is to giving in, just needs one last push to lure the prince in opening the doors to his chambers.

Hua Cheng frames both hands against the glass, blowing hot air in between, effectively fogging up the surface. He draws a massive heart in the condensation. Xie Lian fails to bite back his smile, yet another one of his actions Hua Cheng notices with a smug look.

The pirate proceeds to drag his finger through practiced strokes, writing backward so Xie Lian can read normally on his side. From where he observes, the concentration apparent on Hua Cheng’s face greatly amuses Xie Lian. The characters are still barely legible. Fortunately, Xie Lian has the experience in deciphering Crimson Rain’s infamous scrawl with the intermittent letters he receives.

谢怜 x 三郎

Xie Lian’s face twists in confusion. He immediately unlocks the glass doors, yanking them to the side.

“Who is San Lang?” Xie Lian demands with a pout, forgetting all about his current state of appearance. Hua Cheng smiles into his fist, then graciously enters Xie Lian’s bedroom.

“Another name I go by,” the pirate answers nonchalantly, sliding the door closed behind him. He towers over Xie Lian, dressed in his trademark black heeled-boots with silver chains, whereas Xie Lian’s feet are bare. Plus, Hua Cheng has only continued to grow since the first time they crossed past nearly two years ago. “Should the weather permit fog in the next few days and anyone happens to see, they will not be able to connect San Lang to me.”

“Hua Cheng, your fingerprints are all over the glass,” Xie Lian reminds in exasperation. Hua Cheng frowns when he is addressed, as if he had eaten something not to his liking. He seamlessly replaces it with a mischievous smirk.

“My fingerprints are not documented in the first place,” he says.

“Oh, I see.”

Pirates abide not by any kingdom’s rule but by the laws of the ocean.

Hua Cheng briefly turns to look back at the fading image of their names, his expression calculated but determined once he meets Xie Lian’s gaze again.

“I believe it would also be safest if you referred to me-” Hua Cheng points to the door. “-as such.”

“As what?”

“...”

“How should I call you?”

Hua Cheng narrows his brooding eye.

“Why ask when you already know the answer?”

“Just spit it out, Crimson Rain.” Xie Lian smiles cheekily.

“Your Highness, do not test me.”

Despite his threatening words, Hua Cheng’s posture is stiff, and can even be described as awkward. His arms have obediently remained by his side the entire time, keeping a respectful distance away from Xie Lian. The prince laughs out loud at how constipated Hua Cheng looks.

Without further adieu, Xie Lian throws himself at the taller man. He glomps onto Hua Cheng like a child grabbing onto a stuffed animal, straining his arms to grasp around the pirate’s broad shoulders.

“If San Lang ever wants a hug, he needs only to ask,” Xie Lian admonishes light-heartedly, squishing his cheek against Hua Cheng’s sternum. Hua Cheng chuckles happily, body finally relaxing into the embrace. He winds his arms around Xie Lian’s middle.

“Gege’s benevolence knows no bounds,” Hua Cheng murmurs tenderly. Xie Lian squeezes tighter around him, having no intentions of letting go soon. He missed his pirate dearly, after all. Three months apart had felt like three years. “This San Lang is gladly indebted to His Highness.”

Hua Cheng gently caresses Xie Lian’s head but pauses when he realizes how slippery the prince’s hair is. The pirate rolls the end of a strand between his fingers, droplets of water escaping the tips.

“Gege, did you recently wash?” he asks. Xie Lian shyly nods, containing his blush when Hua Cheng slightly pulls back to take in his satin gown.

“I was bathing when you arrived,” Xie Lian says. With some space between them, Xie Lan realizes with horror that his damp hair created a huge wet spot on the front of Hua Cheng’s robes.

Before he can apologize, Hua Cheng quickly ushers Xie Lian to sit on the cushioned stool in front of his vanity, muttering “please forgive this San Lang for his untimely intrusion” and “allow me to tend to gege’s hair as atonement for such despicable behavior.”

Xie Lian doesn’t know what to say. Hua Cheng’s submissive words render him speechless. It’s a stark contrast to the way Hua Cheng treated him in the beginning, when they were just rivals holding each other at swordpoint. Only in the last year have they been secretly meeting without the pretense of dueling, and even then, Xie Lian only sees Hua Cheng every few months, whenever the pirate happens to sail near Xianle Kingdom. It would be unfathomable for his past self to consider Crimson Rain anything less than a cunning, vicious pirate.

Now, Hua Cheng stands in the Prince of Xianle’s private chambers, offering to brush his hair.

Xie Lian stares wordlessly at Hua Cheng’s reflection. Hua Cheng’s earnest expression does not fade. How absurd it is that a captain of his own pirate ship would reduce himself to the duty of a simple palace servant. Though the thought often crosses his mind, Xie Lian hasn’t turned Hua Cheng in yet. It feels somewhat treasonous to excuse a pirate trespassing and sneaking around on Xianle territory.

Then again, Hua Cheng hasn’t stirred up trouble in public for one whole year. He merely comes back for Xie Lian. This notion alone makes Xie Lian giddy inside.

Xie Lian reaches for a lavishly jeweled comb, then presents it to Hua Cheng. The pirate accepts the comb with a grateful hum, then takes hold of Xie Lian’s wrist to press his lips to the top of his hand.

Xie Lian’s heart sings.

“Would gege be partial to sharing what a day in Prince Xianle’s life looks like?” Hua Cheng asks as he releases Xie Lian’s hand. He begins running the comb through the prince’s long, weighted locks, effortlessly detangling the lower ends. The sensations are heavenly.

“Only if San Lang tells me what a day in Crimson Rain’s life looks like after,” Xie Lian answers with a sluggish tongue. Through the mirror, he sees Hua Cheng smile in satisfaction. Xie Lian slowly closes his eyes as the continuous brushing motions to his hair send pleasant tingles down his spine.

“Whatever His Highness wishes.”

《Bonus II》

[spockandawe]

What are your favorite chinese webnovels? What are some of the differences youve noticed between cnovels and other types of novels?

That second question is really, REALLY interesting, and I really want to answer it well, and I am REALLY sure I’m going to do a bad job of answering it, so let me just noodle about that first question for a minute while I try to think XD

I went through some of my TOP-top favorite novels in more detail yesterday, but generally speaking, mxtx and meatbun are both at the top of the pack. They’re really good at writing compelling main characters and balancing piles of angst with plenty of humor and pulling everything together into a very satisfying ending (which is something I don’t alwaysssss see, even in some of the novels I really like). After them, The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish (transmigration, ancient chinese prince falls in love with pet fish) and Golden Stage (ancient chinese gay arranged marriage between bitter enemies(?)) are two novels that I love a lot, which both have very cute romances and go a bit lighter on the main character suffering front, and which I broadly recommend to anyone who’s interested in the genre. They didn’t end stick the landing QUITE as hard as an svsss or tgcf, but they still were very nice.

Then, let me see. I’m trying to remember which books I’ve read in the last year, and am doing a terrible job, haha. I will say that a book I enjoyed for like... eighty percent of it and then the ending let me down terribly was The Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir (modern day career woman transmigrates into barely-fantasy ancient china novel as the disliked primary wife of a nobleman), which is also the only straight webnovel I’ve read so far. The main character and romance were delightful, but that ending... haha, wow, I felt betrayed. But I did like the first half very much!! I’m idly contemplating a deliberately-partial reread. Then I’m currently like two chapters away from catching up with the current translation of The Wife Is First (ancient chinese prince lives out time travel fixit fic, determined to treat his spouse better this time around). I’m also catching up on Heroic Death System (transmigration, across MANY universes, where the goal is to die heroically in each one, and also maybeeeee to find his boyfriend in each one. this shit gets fucking bananas. in one of them, he emotionally seduces his boyfriend while he’s a dolphin. in another one, he’s a sentient mushroom. i’m in the middle of a section titled ‘I Am An Evil Pen’. yes, like a writing utensil type of pen. this is the weirdest book I’ve read so far). Oh, and Thousand Autumns (righteous sect leader gets sabotaged and loses a fight, wakes up blind and amnesiac, demonic sect leader is like ‘lol i bet i can turn him evil’ and accidentally catches feelings along the way).

What else... I’m keeping up with (but behind on) some others. First, there’s How To Survive As A Villain (modern terminally ill CEO transmigrates into stallion novel, wakes up as villain, accidentally seduces hero). Then, we’ve got Transmigrating Into The Body Of The Heartthrob’s Cannon Fodder Childhood Friend (only modern webnovel I’ve read, young man transmigrates into beginning of gratuitous whump book, back in high school, and is determined to protect the protagonist from all the canonical suffering). Then there’s Pulling Together A Villain Reformation Strategy (guy transmigrates into story as the hero’s childhood friend who will eventually become his enemy and get killed, successfully acts out his part and dies, completely fails to realize he’s broken his friend’s heart in the process... and then wakes up in another character’s body). And then there’s The Villain’s White Lotus Halo (a transmigrator keeps bouncing from universe to universe as a cannon fodder villain, who gets like half a line before being killed. he tries to purchase an upgrade package so he can be a COOL villain instead, but accidentally gets sold a ‘white lotus halo’ package instead, so that no matter what he does, everyone is just DEEPLY moved by his appearance and is positive he did nothing wrong). All of those are EXTREMELY delightful. You may notice a running transmigration theme, which....... yeah, I think there are a TON of delightful stories in the webnovel scene that deal with this genre, which seem so rare in English language media.

Which makes a good transition point to what’s different about the cnovel scene! I’ve seen hardly any transmigration stories in English, and I’ve got a couple go-to examples for when I’m trying to explain it, but like. Only a couple. Which is such a shame! Like, there’s the default idea of ‘I was reading this book and then I woke up inside the book!!’ but it’s clearly such an established genre that people are playing with it in all kinds of interesting ways, like in The Villain’s White Lotus Halo or Heroic Death System setups. It’s kind of wild to me, because it seems like such a gimme for a nice easy story structure? Whatever kind of world you want to present, there’s no need to introduce it to the reader from the ground up, or find a good way to hook them in. Either the main character read the book in question and can explain the premise and why we should care in pov, or the main character is new to the universe too, and trying to find their own footing. I enjoy it a lot! I’ve sampled transmigration books that didn’t grab me, but I’ve sampled way more that did. 

And then, the one semi-technical answer I thought of to this question was the way that these novels tend to handle pov. It’s not a hard-and-fast rule that regular novels are restricted to one pov, or that pov can only change at hard breaks in the story, but if I saw a bog-standard american novel glide from pov to pov the way these novels regularly do, I would tend to wonder if it was sloppiness or a mistake, or I would grump to myself about how I don’t like omniscient third person pov. And I still don’t know exactly what I think about this, or why it’s different in here, but I’m pretty sure I like it a lot, especially for stories where the romance tends to play a large part :V 

I used to read a lot of Books About Writing, and read plenty of stuff about why you don’t DO this, but.... I like it! In dtppf, Jing-wang can’t talk, and when Li Yu is a fish, he can’t talk, and drifting from one of their perspectives to the other gives me lots of useful information about how they’re both feeling. Could that be conveyed through restricted pov? Maybe! But I’m typesetting the svsss extras right now, and I’m in the bing-ge vs bing-mei section, and we get a few brief flashes of bing-ge’s thoughts, and it’s so NICE. It’s information I would not have otherwise received, because Shen Qingqiu sure wasn’t going to notice it. But early in the story, that pov was withheld from me, which also made sense (or hua cheng’s pov was withheld from me FOREVER, which makes me so sad ;u;). There don’t seem to be any hard and fast rules, which makes me really nervous about writing fic and trying to match the style, but I do like it a lot! 

And I’m definitely not able to articulate this in the way that I would like to, or speak with any real authority (I’m not that widely read in the cnovel scene, and i’m not very genre-adventurous in english), but there’s something about the role that the romances play in these stories that’s different from what I’m used to expecting, and it’s VERY tasty to me. I only rarely read romance novels, because I’m not often interested in the romance as a primary plot driver, but the romances in these books play a more substantial role than I’m used to expecting. And I’m into it! It’s a balance closer to what I’d expect from, like, a shippy longform fanfic. Which covers a lot of ground and is NOT a precise measure, but there’s more emotional weight given to the romance than I would expect, but without the romance carrying ALL of the emotional weight, and it strikes a perfect balance for me in a way I’m not used to encountering. Now, some of this could definitely be due to me not finding the right authors, or right subgenres, or whatever. But in the genres I inhabit, it’s a subtle difference, but one I find compelling.

Oh, one last thing. The cultural differences, duh :P I’m only familiar with things like, say, ancient chinese court etiquette through a lens of fan-translated novels like these, and I didn’t grow up steeped in the culture in a way I’m used to the trappings of something like medieval european courts. But there’s a distinct flavor to the social dynamics of these novels, from the formal levels down to the casual, and I know it’s super intricate and detailed and that authors play with differing degrees of historical accuracy vs fictional fun, and I wish I was better equipped to speak to the nature of any of this. But I find it really compelling! I recognize that it’s only new to ME because I didn’t seek out chinese media before now. And, the point that I originally wanted to get to before I got super distracted: the flirting. The flirting and teasing are a very different flavor from what I would expect in most english language media, and I love it, even if I can’t speak to how much of that is purely cultural, and how much of it is like... the conventions of How Fiction Is Written varying by culture, if that makes sense. I adore seeing what flirting and affection and indulgence and attentiveness look like in different settings, and these books, with their heavy romantic focus, absolutely deliver.

[veliseraptor]

top 5 brotps?

oh boy let’s see here. okay okay okay okay. the hard one here is like...do I include things where I also ship them non-platonically?? and I decided to go with “fine to do so but it’s gotta be things where the primary interest is brotpdom”

1. Thor & Loki. Look, I had to. I just...there’s a lot there, there’s a lot there, a lot of it alarmingly personal and emotionally fraught for me personally, and I have accepted that about myself and it is still very true. The pain and love and dysfunction, all of it blown up to very dramatic levels - way beyond what would be “reasonable” obviously because these are characters written to be larger than life - and yet still recognizable to me in...yeah, alarmingly personal ways.

Never forget the long conversation I had with a couple friends about my childhood that ended with “no wonder you like Loki so much.” And a lot of why I like Loki so much? Has a lot to do with his relationship with Thor.

2. Jiang Cheng & Wei Wuxian. Get into a show for the gay, come out if it with a new pair of (martial) siblings, is my motto. Here we have not only the deep feelings and dysfunction going on, the relationship rupture that’s deep and difficult and ugly, but also the sheer ambiguity of their relationship to each other and what its status is, and the way that their mutual dysfunctions align perfectly to make everything between them even more dysfunctional.

I love a pair where both people are equally but differently fucked up and how that plays into the way they relate to each other and that is so much about Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng. They’re a mess and I love them.

3. Felix Harrowgate & Mildmay. What’s a brotp that doesn’t involve undertones of incest, or overtones of, actually, though some of that is the sublimated connection between love and sex in Felix’s head and anyway, I love these two, they’re having a horrible time all of the time and are often very miserable and honestly, I just have a thing for codependent siblings who mean a lot to each other while simultaneously having an excruciatingly fucked up relationship, which fits these two to a T. And just! The arc of their relationship, too!

Sarah Monette gave me, specifically, a gift with these two and their relationship arc and I’m never going to be over it.

4. Celegorm & Curufin. The terrible twosome! Two brothers who love each other very much and are also not particularly good influences on each other! But who needs a good influence when you have love and a fucked up family legacy you’re trying to live up to?

Anyway I’m always on some level up in my Celegorm and Curufin feelings and particularly how I think about their relationship developing over the course of The Silmarillion and becoming both more codependent and more strained over time. They do everything together! Including, eventually, die.

And thinking about them is making me want to write Silm fic again. No, Lise, that’s the devil talking.

5. This one was harder because it’s less obvious to me another that’s, like, on this level? But ultimately I decided to go with a current fandom one and do Mu Qing & Xie Lian. Which is kind of an outlier because their relationship is not really like others on this list! It’s closest to Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian’s in some ways, but it’s very different - the status differential, for one, is an even greater factor and stress point between these two than it is with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng. And their relationship is...it spends more time being bad (or at least, not great) than it does being good. But I just...it is important to me, in its messiness (yes, again!) and its dysfunction (again!) and the ways in which Xie Lian knows Mu Qing very well, and values him, and the ways that Mu Qing both resents and cares deeply about Xie Lian.

This is one of those archetypal relationships for me, too, where I’m like but I want more because there is more, I want to know where they go post-canon, where they leave things at the end of TGCF proper is just a beginning.

Anyway this relationship is important to me and I wish people would do more with it in fic, obligatory plug for @curiosity-killed’s fic the reel of this life.

but this is of course leaving off a whole bunch of other possibilities, among which I could consider He Xuan and Hua Cheng, Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao (when it’s not Xue Yang/Jin Guangyao), almost all my Black Jewels Trilogy feelings, any number of dynamics where I’m not picky about form it takes but just like the character interactions...

it is funny to me that this list of brotps is characterized by three actual sibling relationships, one martial sibling relationship, and one outlier. I really went literal here, didn’t I.

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

TGCF Character List (Spoiler Edition)

Decided to re-organize my character list like my non-spoiler one :)

The Mains 

Xie Lian:: Crown Prince of Xian Le, thrice ascended god, also nicknamed the god of misfortune or the god of fucking up. Has a snake bandage (Ruoye), neat-o sword (Fang Xin) and a collar/ankle shackle like a kinky motherfucker (punishment from his 2 banishments from the heavens). If you have a beef with Xie Lian, Hua Cheng will turn you puddle-shaped.

Ruoye:: Xie Lian’s spiritual tool. A bit fussy and literal with him. Likes Hua Cheng.

Hua Cheng // San Lang // Four Great Calamities:: An 800 year old demonic Ghost King also known as the Crimson Rain-Sought Flower, Scourge of Heaven, or Xie Lian’s sugar daddy. Devastation-Level spirit (currently the most powerful). Human!Xie Lian saved Hua Cheng’s life when he was a small child and Hua Cheng decided to dedicate his life to the Crown Prince. Now that they’re both 800+ years old he wants to bone him.

E-Ming:: Hua Cheng’s blade. A long, curved silver scimitar with a decorative pommel that appears to contain either an eye or a jeweled eye (not too clear on that part). 

The Heavenly Host 

Fu Yao:: Mu Qing’s disguised form so he can help Xie Lian without Xie Lian knowing it’s him. Formerly a servant of Xie Lian’s. Too pretty for your bullshit.

Mu Qing // Xuan Zhen:: The Southwest Martial God. A former servant of Xie Lian’s who was brought by Xie Lian to the heavens before Xie Lian was unceremoniously kicked out the first time. Because of his former life as a servant, it is considered a high insult to hand him or one of his disciples a broom. 

Nan Feng:: Nan Yang’s disguised form so that he can help Xie Lian without Xie Lian’s knowing it’s him. Terrified of women (but obviously thought Xie Lian was hot in that wedding dress).

Feng Xin // Nan Yang:: The Southeast Martial God. A former General under Xie Lian, also brought by Xie Lian to the heavens before Xie Lian’s first downfall. Due to an error by an ancient emperor, he is worshiped in some areas as the God of Big Dick (”Tremendous Masculinity”).

Feng Shen:: Feng Xin // Nan Yang // Nan Feng’s bow, a gift from the Heavenly Emperor. Bow’s name means ‘God of Wind’, no word yet on how the Wind Master feels about this.

Ling Wen // Three Tumors:: A literary goddess and friend of Xie Lian. Only Ling Wen greets Xie Lian upon his third ascension and she often helps him research things. 

Jun Wu:: The Heavenly Emperor. Has a certain fondness for Xie Lian, and gives him more chances than he might others. 

 General Pei Lang // Pei Ming // Ming Guang // Three Tumors:: Northern Martial God. Pei Lang was a legendary womanizer as a mortal and is even worse as a divine. Slutty af, can’t be bothered to deal with anyone’s shit.

“Little” General Pei Su:: A descendant of the above god who ascended to a lower godhood rank. Acts as an underling and errand boy of General Pei Lang. Name indicates small dick.  

Wind Master Shi Qing Xuan:: One of the Five Elemental Lords, carries a fan and stirs up violent storms often. Known for their stunning looks and a personality that makes them fast friends in the Heavenly Realm. Sometimes likes to go around as a lady (and convince others to cross-dress with them)

Water Master Shi Wu Xu // Three Tumors:: Dubbed “Tyrannical Waters” by San Lang due to the practice of demanding tribute from those who sail upon the seas and oceans. One of the Five Elemental Lords. Wind Master’s elder brother who ascended first by a couple years.

Earth Master Ming Yi:: A companion of Wind Master Shi Qing Xuan and one of the Five Elemental Lords. Not much is known about the Earth Master because they like to keep a low profile. Acted as a spy in Hua Cheng’s camp for 10 years. Hua Cheng recognized him in female form when he was going around Banyue Pass with Wind Master.

Tai Hua// Lang Qian Qiu:: The Eastern Martial God, born the Crown Prince of Yong An- the kingdom that grew on the ashes of Xie Lian’s own kingdom. He is vaguely narcoleptic, dumb as a rock, and enjoys flinging himself headfirst into any situation if he thinks it’ll make him look heroic. Was trained in fighting by Xie Lian himself.

Ghosts and Demons 

Black Water Demon King Xuan // Four Great Calamities:: He keeps to himself often. He and Hua Cheng are the only two who hold the rank of Demon King, and one of only three demons to reach “Devastation” rank, though he is considered slightly lower than Hua Cheng. 

White No-Face Bai Wu Xiang // Four Great Calamities:: The eldest of the Four Great Calamities and first to achieve Devastation-Rank. He is the one who destroys Xie Lian’s kingdom before vanishing himself. 

Night-Touring Green Lantern Qi Rong // Xiao Jing:: Though only a “Wraith” class demon (lower than a Devastation), he is the weakest and youngest of the Four Great Calamities. Gods look down on him with disgust rather than fear, as he is known for impaling people upside down, creating a bloody rain. Xie Lian’s insane younger cousin.

The Humans and Miscellaneous 

Little Ying (Yu Jun Arc):: A girl in the village around Mount Yu Jun. She cares for Lang Ying and dies protecting Xie Lian (who was in no need of protecting but appreciated the gesture).

Lang Ying (Yu Jun Arc+):: A boy inflicted with the same Face Plague that destroyed Xie Lian’s kingdom, though the plague was thought eradicated long ago. It’s resurgence could mean Bai Wu Xiang has reappeared. He is a somewhat disciple of Xie Lian’s, having survived terrible hardships and trauma.

Xuan Ji (Yu Jun Arc):: A female general who stood on the opposite side of a battle as Ming Guang // Pei Senior. She went insane in her love of him and broke both of her legs to force him to notice her. When he still didn’t pay any mind, she went insane and was responsible for the Ghost Brides of Mount Yu Jun.

Tian Sheng (Banyue Pass Arc):: A bit of a mouthy one, but respects elders. Swears he will build Xie Lian a temple (which will probably end up just being a tree house).

Ke Mo (Banyue Pass Arc):: A general of the Ban Yue people. He refused to die, choosing instead to continuously trap people General Pei Junior brings to the edge of the Banyue lands to feed to his starving brothers trapped in the Sinner’s Pit. He executes Ban Yue over and over again for her part in destroying Banyue.

Ban Yue (Banyue Pass Arc):: A tiny demon in a cup. Ban Yue was one of Xie Lian’s orphans he used to collect and protect. She found out her people- who she wasn’t on good terms with anyways- were planning on committing a series of suicide bombings that would kill thousands of Midlanders, so she helped slaughter her own people to minimize casualties. Xie Lian keeps her in a jar, but is kind to her.

Xia Xian Yue Officer // Quan Yi Zhen (Ghost Market Arc):: Hua Cheng’s assistant(?). May be the former Martial God of the West.

Prince An Le (Qi Rong Arc):: Another distant relative of Xie Lian’s. Prince An Le befriended Tai Hua/ Lang Qian Qiu for the purpose of carrying out the slaughter of the Yong An royal family along with Qi Rong. Was murdered by Xie Lian to stop a war from brewing.

[docmanda]

86 for Mu Qing and Xie Lian (no matter if shippy or platonic) please?

there you go, I hope you like it :-) Prompt was “I´m scared”

Mu Qing is cursing as he uses the damp cloth his assistant hands him to wipe the sweat of his face, striding along the corridors of his Palace fast enough that the other official has trouble keeping up with the martial God. Who the hell wants to visit him when he is training? Everybody should know by now that he hated to be interrupted, he had made that abundantly clear multiple times in terms even the most dense of Gods should be able to understand...and that bastard Feng Xin was busy trying to keep his child and woman in check, he didn't have the time to come and be purposely annoying Mu Qing.

The fact that his assistant had only blushed and stuttered when he had asked him who the unbidden visitor was had only aggravated him further. Really, there weren't that many people who would willingly come and visit him and even if the Middle Heaven Official was new to his job he should know most major Gods by now. That meant his visitor was probably just some low level lackey wanting to curry favor with him. Well, he´d give the guy his first lecture for free: Never piss off General Xuan Zhen. Mu Qing´s smirk sends shivers down the poor junior official´s spine, trying to make himself as small and unnoticeable as possible as they enter Mu Qing´s waiting room….only to nearly run right into his General's back when he abruptly comes to a halt.

“Dianxia?What are -you- doing here?””

Xie Lian turns to greet him, his usual soft and slightly sheepish smile wilting slowly when he sees Mu Qing´s scowl and his sweat-sodden training clothes. He is just standing in the middle of the room, looking lost. No one has offered a seat or tea, clearly thinking him too unimportant for that, just another supplicant trying to weasel merits out of their General. Mu Qing can feel his ire rise at this rudeness. Xie Lian´s smile falters even more, looking wooden on his pale face and he starts to fidget slightly with a few loose threads on his shabby robes, clearly feeling uncomfortable. Mu Qing´s fingers itch for his needles, a centuries-old reflex he can't seem to shake whenever he sees his Prince in these rags of his.

“Ah...I thought you might want to play some Xiangqi? Or just have some tea? ...I can leave if it´s..not a good time? I can see I interrupted your training, I apologize. I will come back another time.”

Xie Lian bows slightly but before he can turn and leave Mu Qing´s feet carry him to his side without asking him first and he finds himself grabbing for the other's sleeve. ´You are such an idiot´, he berates himself, his inner voice sounding suspiciously like Feng Xin´s. `There you go blabbing about how you want to be friends and the moment Xie Lian show up to visit -like friends do- you treat him like an unwelcome intruder.´ 

“No it´s alright. Just..give me a few minutes to clean up alright? You! How can you leave his Highness standing in the hall like a beggar? He is an honored guest, escort him into the gardens and tell the kitchen to prepare tea and sweets.” 

The poor assistant gets cuffed over his head roughly for his trouble, bowing deeply in apology before doing as he was told, Xie Lian looking at Mu Qing helplessly before he gets whisked away. The Martial God sighs, pushing his sweat soaked bangs out of his face before hurrying towards his chambers, shouting for water and fresh clothes. Something had seemed off about the other man, making Mu Qing´s heart flutter in nervous anticipation. Even without the shackles Xie Lian was still prone to accidents and just good at attracting trouble. And without that thrice damned ghost king around to scare everything away who knows what kind of trouble he had gotten himself into now, that he actually came to Mu Qing out of his own volition.

By the time Mu Qing has cleaned up and changed his clothes he has worried himself into a frenzy, convinced that something horrible must have happened for Xie Lian to come up to the Heavens unannounced and visit him. Yes, they had met before, Mu Qing had meant it when he said he wanted to be friends but it had always been in tea houses or at Puji Shrine and always after setting a date through the communication error. Xie Lian usually avoided going to the Heavens as much as he could and that he would just appear at Mu Qing´s door like this was worrying, to say the least.

Mu Qing´s suspicions that something is off only get stronger when he enters his garden and sees that the tea and sweets in front of Xie Lian are still untouched, his white silhouette stiff and unmoving. As picky as he might have been as a child he would never leave food to just sit around like that and go to waste nowadays, Mu Qing had learned that by now and didn't want to think too much about, it being a testament to the many times of starvation Xie Lian had to endure during the last 800 years. Mu Qing can feel his stomach clench with worry as he slides into the seat opposite the other man, gesturing for the servants to bring fresh tea.

“Dianxia. Sorry for having you wait.”

“Don´t be, I came unannounced after all and interrupted you, I should be the one to apologize.” Xie Lian shakes his head lightly, the smile on his face not reaching his eyes as he accepts a new cup of tea, rolling the hot cup between his fingers as if he was cold before taking a small sip. Mu Qing fiddles around with his own cup to fill the silence, carefully sideeyeing the other man. He does not seem to be injured, which is good, but he looks...uneasy? Sad? Melancholic? Mu Qing can't really put a finger on it and it drives him crazy that he can´t. He had been so good at guessing at his Prince´s wellbeing just from the small changes of his ever present smile..but that had been many, many years ago. Xie Lian had changed, and so had Mu Qing. 

Xie Lian doesn't speak, his cup forgotten in his hands already and his gaze getting lost in the distance. Mu Qing waits for a few moments longer before putting his own cup back on the table with a sigh, moving to slide onto the cushion next to Xie Lian instead of sitting opposite him. They´re close enough that their shoulders brush, making Xie Lian look up in puzzlement and Mu Qing tries very hard to ignore how forbidden being this close feels, way too intimate for a Prince and his servant...but just close enough to comfort a friend.

“Xie Lian...what is the matter?”

The man next to him seems to wilt unto himself, unconsciously drawing close to the warmth next to him and leaning close.

“I am...I have been a little bit lonely I think. Puji Shrine is such a small space and yet it feels too big without him...and…” 

Mu Qing pushes slightly against him, encouraging him to keep talking. Hua Cheng is the reason for Xie Lian´s sadness then...or his absence to be more precise. He still doens´t know what to actually think about that…-thing- the Devastation and his Prince apparently had going on, he didn't even know if he wanted to think too much about it for many reasons. But it was obvious that Xie Lian cared for the other man just as deeply as the ghost king did for him...and that his ´disappearance´had hurt him deeply and left him heartbroken.

“And?”, he gently prompts.

“I am scared. That he won´t come back.”

Xie Lian´s voice does not exactly break but it has a brittleness to it that makes Mu Qing think of lonely nights and silent tears and he forcibly pushes back age old restrictions and taboos to sling an arm around his friend's back, pulling him into a one armed embrace. Xie Lian lets himself be pulled without any resistance, the touch of his forehead against Mu Qing´s shoulder as light as a feather. He still feels a little bit hesistant, but this is new for both of them and will take some getting used to, Mu Qing thinks. But they have time, he supposes. For now he needs to concentrate on doing what was most important: console his friend.  

“Xie Lian..I honestly don´t think there is any power in this world or the next that could keep Hua Cheng away from you. He is an arrogant little prick but as much as I dislike him even I have to admit that it's obvious how much he cares for you.”

“...pot, meet kettle.” It is a sad little attempt at humor, with neither force nor conviction behind it but Mu Qing does Xie Lian the favor of snorting lightly, gently bumping the other man's shoulder. They sit like this for a while in surprisingly comfortable silence until Xie Lian speaks up again.

“It´s hard, waiting. I don´t know how he did it for so long...”

Mu Qing sighs softly, having grown confident enough by now to properly pull him into a tight embrace, elation warming his limbs with how easily Xie Lian allows him to. Maybe this ´being friends´thing wasn´t that terribly hard at all...

“It´s alright. I´ll wait with you.”

[pengiesama]

Matchmaker, Matchmaker (Fic, TGCF, HC/XL)

Title: Matchmaker, Matchmaker Series: Heavenly Official's Blessing (Tian Guan Ci Fu) Pairing: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary:

Every night, Xie Lian visits the Ghost City to tutor its king. Every morning, Xie Lian leaves; still single and unsmooched.

Luckily, Shi Qing Xuan is a professional(?) matchmaker, and is here to HELP OUT.

Link: AO3

Check out my commission info here.

Read on Tumblr!

There came a cheerful, light knock to Feng Xin’s door. Before he could even arise to answer it, the knocks became like a furious hailstorm battering upon the carved wood.

Gritting his teeth, he marched over to fling open the door.

He saw the Windmaster standing at his threshold. The Windmaster was smiling wide at him.

“Hiiiii,” Shi Qing Xuan said sweetly, twirling a piece of hair around his – rather her, currently – finger.

Feng Xin had precious little time to formulate a plan of escape. He slammed the door in Shi Qing Xuan’s face, and bolted it securely in place. Heavy, blessed wood; weighed down with metal, and capable of withstanding the assault of a thousand soldiers. It would buy him no more than a few seconds. He took off running towards his armory. But – when it comes to pass that one must face a peril of this magnitude, a few seconds would make the difference between—

The heavy wooden door blew off its hinges with terrible force, and sailed toward Feng Xin; propelled by hurricane winds. Feng Xin whirled about to crack it in half with a blow of his fist. As the door split, he saw the Windmaster’s face emerge from behind it. Feng Xin’s eyes grew wide with terror.

No official strolling the heavenly avenues dared to answer Feng Xin’s cries. They watched as Shi Qing Xuan dragged him off by the ankles, and prayed that they would not be next.

 --

 “Honestly, you’re just being obstinate. And childish. And so uncouth – stop fiddling with your makeup!”

“You smeared it into my eyes!”

“Learn to sit still next time, then.”

Shi Qing Xuan smacked Mu Qing’s hand away as it drifted up again to rub at his eye makeup. She frowned at Feng Xin, who was lying prone and motionless on the floor; his expression that of a man imprisoned in the depths of hell. He was at least quiet, now; he’d stopped screaming about an hour ago. Shi Qing Xuan rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Aren’t the two of you the least bit concerned about our sweet crown prince’s outings to the Ghost City?” Shi Qing Xuan asked. “It simply tears me up at night to imagine the creatures that would like nothing more than to eat him up in a single bite.”

“Of course we’re concerned,” Mu Qing snapped back irritably. “But how is this the solution?”

Shi Qing Xuan blinked. She thought her plan was self-evident. “…I don’t get your meaning.”

“You dragged us from our homes, dressed us handmaidens, marched us into the depths of the Ghost City – dressed as handmaidens – and now we’re in—” Mu Qing tried to suppress the shudder of fear that came with the thought. “—we’re in his manor. Dressed as handmaidens.”

At the word “handmaidens”, Feng Xin convulsed, and began to emit a weak, croaking noise. It was very unpleasant to the ears. Shi Qing Xuan was about to walk over and smack him on his newly-grown titties to get him to knock it off, when the door to the room slid open.

It wasn’t Shi Qing Xuan’s intent to immediately get captured by his staff the moment they infiltrated the manor, but, well, that happened. Shi Qing Xuan found this rather unfair, as they had been very stealthy in their entrance, and she had been looking forward to sneaking around. Still, there was a certain thrill in having to engage in a battle of wits for one’s life.

Five handmaidens shuffled into the room where they were being detained, and regarded their captives with silent disdain. Another handmaiden strode in; the set of her shoulders and her confident stride clearly showed her as the chief of staff. She rose an eyebrow at the three of them, and the other handmaidens giggled behind their sleeves.

Mu Qing’s eyes darted around the room, clearly trying to plot an escape. Feng Xin had sensed that more women had surrounded him, and he seemed to have fully mentally checked out of the situation. Honestly, why did she even bother allowing others with her on these outings? She already knew the answer: to make herself look even more beautiful by comparison. But it was so utterly frustrating to have to deal with this level of incompetence. At least having Ming-Xiong along made for some quality entertainment. And an occasional interlude of scissoring.

It was up to Shi Qing Xuan to plead their case.

“Ladies,” she said, bowing her head. “Elegant women like us understand the important things in life, no?”

“They trod upon the master’s flower garden,” one of the handmaidens stage-whispered to another.

“Master’s precious flower garden. Cultivated over so many years.”

“Where will he take tea now? Where will he take tea with his very special guest?”

“His very special guest. The most rare and radiant flower in all the realms.”

“Master will be upset. Very upset.”

“What will he do to these wretched interlopers?”

“What will he do?”

“What won’t he do?”

The handmaidens’ giggles grew in noise and pitch, and they showed their sharp teeth in cruel, ghoulish smiles. But this response – this response was all Shi Qing Xuan needed to know.

“It seems we are all sisters-in-arms,” she replied. “We come here to provide assistance.”

“We do?” Mu Qing hissed.

“Assistance?” the lead handmaiden asked coolly. “Assistance with what, may I ask? Are you volunteering to re-seed the garden you destroyed, and nourish it with your blood? I imagine Heaven’s officials make splendid fertilizer.”

Shi Qing Xuan smiled knowingly.

“Do you know that I’m often considered a goddess of matchmaking?”

She produced her fan from her sleeve, and flicked it open with practiced grace.

“The butterfly pines for the flower’s sweet nectar. The flower yearns for the brush of wings on its petals. It is my intent in coming here to provide divine intervention.”

The handmaidens gasped, and began to murmur amongst themselves behind their sleeves. Even the lead staffwoman had to school her expression – an expression of shock, and perhaps…perhaps a bit of hope.

“EXCUSE me!?” Mu Qing interrupted, furious. “What do you mean by that!? The very idea – the idea that the prince would be a suitable match for a demon! Preposterous! Where on earth did you get that thought into your fevered skull?”

All eyes in the room regarded Mu Qing with incredulous disbelief. An awkward silence stretched out for what seemed like a century or more. Feng Xin croaked out a death rattle, and Shi Qing Xuan smacked his left boob with her fan to silence him.

“…anyway,” Shi Qing Xuan said, ignoring Mu Qing’s foolishness, and Feng Xin’s dramatics. “Ladies. Huddle up. I have already hatched a plan of attack.”

The handmaidens all hustled in around Shi Qing Xuan, watching as she produced a scroll from her sleeves. She rolled it out over the floor, and produced a long, elegant wooden pointer from…probably also her sleeve. She gestured to the scroll with her pointer; a general briefing her troops.

“First. There comes the matter of the household laundry…”

 --

 “San Lang.”

Xie Lian picked up his sleeve, and saw Hua Cheng curled beneath it. He was much furrier than usual, and had more legs. And boasted a charmingly swishy tail. Hua Cheng purred louder at being discovered, and reached out one midnight-black paw to knead at the air. Xie Lian tried very poorly to hide his smile at the sight.

“I seem to remember that I assigned you lines to copy out,” Xie Lian said. “Should I assume that you’ve finished?”

“Gege is a strict teacher. I needed to rest my paws for a moment.” Hua Cheng stretched out long and lean in his feline form before tucking his paws up and under his chin. “I found a wonderfully comfortable spot here, but if it is inconvenient to have me sitting on your sleeves while you write, I could find another place to nap…”

Hua Cheng eyed Xie Lian’s lap. Xie Lian, alas, did not notice. He rose to his feet and walked across the room to review the results of the calligraphy lesson strewn across Hua Cheng’s desk. The lines marching across the paper went from shaky but passable, to shaky and blotchy, to illegible, to a bunch of cat paw prints. Hua Cheng hopped up onto the desk, and rubbed his head against Xie Lian’s hand insistently.

“I hope you enjoyed your nap on my clothes,” Xie Lian said. He couldn’t help but give Hua Cheng’s ear a scratch, despite his firm tone. “You’ll be redoing all of these.”

Hua Cheng purred even louder, somehow, and flopped over on the desk to show his furry belly.

“Gege is so strict. So strict. Merciless. I’m just a helpless little creature, and he heaps heaven’s wrath upon me.”

Xie Lian laughed aloud. He just couldn’t keep up the strict tutor act, not with Hua Cheng rolling around like an upended turtle. What could be done? There was only one logical thing. He scooped him up in his arms, and held him close to his chest; as he would any small animal that happened to cross his path. The action seemed to startle Hua Cheng, however – he tensed and fluffed up his coat in surprise, but still allowed Xie Lian to bundle him in. The purring returned with redoubled force. Xie Lian felt his paws kneading subtly against his clothes and chest.

“You’ll get the hang of it eventually,” Xie Lian assured him. “With practice. San Lang is so good at everything, so I’m sure it won’t be too much longer until I’m surpassed as your teacher.”

Hua Cheng’s voice was muffled in his robes as he spoke. “And if I do get the hang of it, will you stop coming by to tutor me?”

Xie Lian blinked. “Well, I don’t want to bother you for no reason. I already impose on you enough; sleeping in your guest room, eating your food…”

He saw Hua Cheng’s furry face peek up from his chest. His single eye glittered like a jewel against his silky black fur, and regarded Xie Lian with such intelligence, such gentleness. No matter what form Hua Cheng decided to take on, Xie Lian was certain he could recognize him by that eye of his.

“You’re not imposing,” Hua Cheng told him. “Gege could come by every day, if he likes. I would wait for you at the gates, to watch for you as you came down the street.”

Xie Lian felt his chest go tight at the thought – the thought of walking down the city’s streets, the lurid and colorful spirit lanterns lighting the way, with Hua Cheng standing watch as a lighthouse in the distance, waiting to welcome him into his home. It swirled in his head, making him dizzy.

“That seems…unseemly behavior, for a cat,” Xie Lian finally managed.

In a flash, Xie Lian felt Hua Cheng slip from his arms. Before he could properly mourn the loss, the man himself – as a man, and as himself – stood in front of him, smiling down at him with that unknowable, mischievous quirk of his lips.

“I’m a thoroughly unseemly man,” Hua Cheng said.

Hua Cheng’s gaze drifted down, and his expression faltered. Xie Lian looked down at himself, confused, and saw that the front of his robes – where he had been cuddling Hua Cheng to his chest – was smeared with inky pawprints.

“I’m sorry,” Hua Cheng mumbled. He couldn’t quite look Xie Lian in the eyes. He really was considerate, Xie Lian thought, being so abashed; even though it wasn’t his fault.

“No, it’s fine,” Xie Lian assured him. “I was the one who picked you up without asking. Besides, I’ve gotten far worse stains out of this old thing. I’ll just leave it to soak in the basin overnight, and take it to scrub in the river in the morning –”

“I’ll have it laundered for you here,” Hua Cheng said firmly. “My staff will fetch you some clothes to wear while they work.”

Instantly, a pair of handmaidens slid open the door to the room. Xie Lian didn’t even hear Hua Cheng ring or call out for them. They bowed low, waiting for Xie Lian to approach so they could escort him to get Chenged. Xie Lian hemmed and hawed for a moment before Hua Cheng’s big hand settled on the small of his back, gently urging him to go with his staff.

“I promise they’ll find you something to wear,” Hua Cheng said. “Something proper, and comfortable. I won’t force you to walk around in an old rice sack.”

Xie Lian’s lips quirked up. “There, you see? You’re not as unseemly as you say. I expect you to have those lines rewritten before I get back, though.”

“Of course,” Hua Cheng said. His tone was so sincere that it caught Xie Lian off-guard. “Don’t be gone too long.”

 --

 Shi Qing Xuan was paralyzed by indecision, and time was running out.

“This is the collection of robes that the Master had specially tailored for our esteemed guest,” the lead handmaiden explained. “He has been waiting for the perfect opportunity to present them. Truth be told, many such opportunities have presented themselves, but the Master has, ah…not been bold enough to follow through.”

The robes were all absolutely gorgeous, and Shi Qing Xuan badly wanted to claim a few of them for her own closet; even though her big bodacious bazongas would never fit in anything tailored to Xie Lian’s measurements. Maybe having clothes like this would encourage her to be a man more often…the very thought made her laugh aloud.

“May I ask what our honored guest finds so humorous all of a sudden?” asked the lead staffwoman. She watched in confusion as Shi Qing Xuan nearly collapsed to the floor in breathless hysterics.

“It’s best to leave some things a mystery,” grumbled Mu Qing.

But here was the problem. They could either dress up Xie Lian in these fancy duds, as they were expected to, or…or they could go with the original plan of attack.

Her plans had already almost gone off the rails once – she was originally going to shove Mu Qing into the room where Xie Lian and his suitor were romancing each other with a jug of plum wine, with instructions to dump it all over Xie Lian’s head and then run away. While Mu Qing was arguing with her about the plan being “idiotic” and “suicidal”, they got word that Xie Lian had managed to mess up his robes all on his own. Shi Qing Xuan always knew that she could count on him. The mission – entitled “Project Get Xie Lian Into Something Nice and Slutty” – was back on the rails.

But then the handmaidens had to show her this closet, and the plan was going awry again. Shi Qing Xuan centered herself, and connected with the spiritual energy that flowed through her. She was a goddess. A matchmaker goddess (along with her various other duties). It was her duty to guide her assistants, and in her wisdom, she came upon the correct decision.

She stroked a longing hand along the beautiful embroidered silks of the “I Want to Give These to Xie Lian But Am Too Chickenshit” collection, and closed the closet doors slowly. Her resolve was absolute. They would go with the original plan.

“Bring your master’s sleeping robes, as we discussed.”

 --

 It was times such as these that Xie Lian was reminded of how tall he wasn’t, in comparison to Hua Cheng.

He frowned at himself in the mirror, trying to wrap and tie the sash of the borrowed robe in a way that would make him more…decent. No matter how he fiddled with it, the robe seemed determined to be loose about his shoulders and chest; drooping low enough to slip off and down his arm, and gaping open almost down to his navel. If he bent over, he’d be sure to give anyone an unwanted eyeful.

A glint caught Xie Lian’s eye. The ring Hua Cheng gave him, dangling from the chain around his neck. It was usually hidden under his robes – he couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken it off. It had become as ever-present as Ruoye, or his hat. It was always just there, tucked away, warm against his skin. But…sometimes, the light hit it just right, and Xie Lian was left dumb and dazzled by its beauty. Wearing these robes, it was exposed for all to see; swaying from its chain, sparkling against his skin.

He reached up and pinched his own cheeks to re-orient his focus. He was being so rude to Hua Cheng – eating his food, forcing him to do his laundry, stealing his clothes…and now he was getting distracted by sparkly things in a mirror while keeping him waiting all alone. He’d have to make due like this until his own clothes were finished being laundered, and hopefully Hua Cheng wouldn’t laugh at him too much in the meantime.

“—um, thank you,” Xie Lian said, emerging from the closet, and bowing to the handmaidens that had escorted him. “Sorry for the trouble. I’m ready to go back.”

The handmaidens bowed, and demurely averted their eyes from Xie Lian’s exposed skin. Briefly, it looked like they were trying to suppress smiles. He supposed he didn’t mind. He did look very silly, swimming in these oversized robes. He just…hoped Hua Cheng didn’t laugh at him. Anyone else was fine.

…Hua Cheng’s robe smelled so nice, though. Xie Lian lifted the collar to his cheek as they walked, and took a deep breath. He wondered if it was the scent of the laundry soap, or Hua Cheng himself. …wait, did that mean that he’d inadvertently picked out the robe Hua Cheng had been sleeping in the night before? Xie Lian let the collar drop from his fingers, then hastily tried to fix it as it fell down his shoulder once again. He didn’t know why the idea flustered him so much.

They reached the salon once more, and Xie Lian thanked the staffwomen again as they took their leave. He took a deep breath to steady himself, and slid the door open just enough to peek his head through.

“Don’t laugh,” Xie Lian said sternly. “Okay?”

Hua Cheng was seated at his desk, waiting patiently for his teacher’s return like a model student. He leaned his head against his hand and smiled at Xie Lian with a fondness that muddled Xie Lian’s emotions.

“Why would I laugh?” he asked. “I’m sure you cut an elegant figure.”

“Don’t laugh. Promise.”

“Promise made. Now, please let me see how you look in—”

Xie Lian slid open the door. The collar slid down his shoulder and arm again. He fixed it, and tried unsuccessfully not to huff and pout as he did so.

To his credit, Hua Cheng did not laugh. In fact, his face was devoid of any expression other than shock. His eye was wide as a striken deer’s.

“…my clothes…” Hua Cheng finished, almost too quietly to hear.

“I’m sorry,” Xie Lian said. “They said they wouldn’t be long with the wash. You should have these back before you turn in for bed.”

Hua Cheng’s attention was focused squarely on the strip of skin exposed at Xie Lian’s chest; on the glint of the ring dangling there. His gaze snapped back up to Xie Lian’s face, then down to the ring, then at his collarbone, across to his right shoulder, then his face again, then his bare calves and ankles, then his face once more. Slowly, as if he was waging a great internal struggle, he closed his eye, and breathed deeply.

“It’s fine,” Hua Cheng said, his voice cracking on the second syllable.

The sound was so unexpected that it made the both of them jump. However, it broke the tension in the room, and Xie Lian let out a small laugh. San Lang was so unpredictable. And so unexpectedly cute in the process.

“Now,” Xie Lian said. “I hope you’ve made progress with your lines while I was out?”

“Yes,” Hua Cheng said.

Xie Lian waited for a long moment, then prodded. “…may I see them?”

“Yes.”

Hua Cheng remained seated at his desk, his posture rigid. Slowly, Xie Lian walked over on his own. One hand kept the front of his robes from gaping open as he bent over the desk to inspect.

“Hm. Not bad. I’m seeing some improvement,” Xie Lian said. Forgetting himself, he used both hands to sort through Hua Cheng’s work. He leaned over the table a little bit more to see better. His necklace knocked lightly against the polished wood with the movement; his hair tumbled over his bared shoulder and whispered against the paper strewn across the desk. “Your strokes are steadier, more controlled. Have you been practicing on your own with my lessons in mind?”

“Gege’s voice is always in my mind,” Hua Cheng said faintly. He was staring at the ceiling; perhaps made shy with Xie Lian’s praise.

“Well, I’m glad that I’ve drilled you enough to make my lessons stick.”

Xie Lian smiled and reached out to pat Hua Cheng’s shoulder. It was like patting a stone wall. Xie Lian was filled with concern – sitting for too long while writing could be very tough on one’s back.

“You seem very stiff.”

“Yes,” Hua Cheng choked out.

Well, he supposed there was something to be said for brevity. Xie Lian straightened up and walked around the desk to stand behind Hua Cheng, and settled his hands on his shoulders. Hua Cheng jumped so violently at his touch that his knees banged against the underside of his desk, making his paintbrushes and ink rattle.

“Here. I’ll help you loosen up, and then I think you’ve earned a real break. To rest your paws,” Xie Lian echoed his words from earlier, with a note of laughter.

Before he could set to work, Hua Cheng’s hands settled firmly on his own, preventing him from moving them. Xie Lian blinked, confused. Hua Cheng always whined and wheedled for a shoulder rub after lessons. Was he so stiff that he needed something more? If he laid down on his front, Xie Lian could straddle him and work his lower back—

“I need a drink,” Hua Cheng said. “Before. Anything else.”

Xie Lian certainly wouldn’t say no to some refreshments. “Tea and sweets sound wonderful, if you don’t mind. It sounded like you banged your knees pretty badly, by the way. Do you want me to take a look—”

Hua Cheng managed to force a smile that wasn’t half as suave as he probably intended. “I am made whole again by Gege’s concern and kind thoughts alone. My kitchen is open to your every whim.”

“Okay,” Xie Lian said slowly. “I’ll take buns and fresh fruit.”

The silence that followed was deafening.

“Are you going to stay sitting at your desk?” asked Xie Lian.

“For a few minutes,” Hua Cheng said.

“…I’ll just go over there and write more phrases for you to copy out, then.”

“That would probably be best.”

 --

 “…with full medical, dental, and pension benefits,” continued the lead staffwoman. “And Casual Fridays. Our Lord Master runs his household and businesses very wisely. I labor the point, but you must understand, honored matchmaker, that his finances are more than sufficient to provide for a spouse.”

“I understand,” Shi Qing Xuan said warmly. “You mentioned a betting pool. How long has this been running?”

The lead staffwoman sighed wearily. “Ages. Truly, I fear that I’ll never see its conclusion in my lifetime.”

“Afterlifetime,” Shi Qing Xuan cheekily corrected.

She chuckled, then shook her head. They were reclining in the staff lounge, waiting for their nail polish to dry while the other handmaidens tended to the matter of Mu Qing and Feng Xin’s makeovers. It was wonderful entertainment.

Mu Qing shrieked as he was tackled to the ground and held in place by a dozen pairs of ghostly arms that sprang from the floor mats. The handmaidens cackled in delight, clearly relishing his terror, just as they relished making him beautiful. They descended upon him like a pack of ravenous wolves, wielding gleaming metal instruments of fiendish dermatological intent. Feng Xin hung upside-down from the ceiling; bound in place by ropes woven from purest darkness, lost to this world, and wearing a fragrant clay mask to clear out his pores.

“What are some of the items one may wager on?”

The lead staffwoman hummed thoughtfully.

“Any number of things, truly. There will surely be someone willing to take you up on the bet – it’s now the largest purse the Ghost City has ever seen. Who will confess to whom; how long it will take…the matter of will or will not,” she added, with a note of despair.

“The most popular item right now is the matter of children!” one of the handmaidens chirped. She was holding Mu Qing down by the neck while another girl waxed his legs, and her clawed hands bit into his skin as he struggled. “I placed a wager on four.”

Another handmaiden scoffed. “Four!? Do you not trust in the Master’s virility? Surely eight, at least!”

“It’s not a matter of the Master’s virility; it’s a matter of whether the Lord Prince can withstand his virility! Surely even a god could not manage more than four.”

“The Lord Prince is very slender,” another handmaiden said doubtfully. “Are you certain he could manage even one?”

Some of the handmaidens sighed sadly, and some pouted, but there were none who could confidently rebut the woman’s point.

Save one.

“…you…you dare…”

Now that was a voice Shi Qing Xuan hadn’t heard in a while. Feng Xin had finally returned to himself, and was glaring at the handmaidens, his gaze blazing hot and full of righteous fury.

“…you dare imply…that the prince could fail at any task…?”

His whole body seemed to glow with heavenly light. The bindings suspending him in the air disintegrated, and he floated down to the floor; upright. The clay facial mask crumbled from his face, revealing his dazzling glowing skin and radiant pores. Shi Qing Xuan simply had to get a jar of that formula to take home with her.

“Twelve,” Feng Xin hissed. “I will wager on twelve.”

The handmaidens tittered. One of them flicked her wrist; summoning a golden box and writing supplies.

“You can write your bet and submit it here,” she said. “Prick your finger and sign in blood at the bottom when you’re done. There’s also bonus subcategories; double or nothing on your wager. How many boys and girls, for example—”

“Six strong and fearless sons, and six beautiful and wise daughters,” Feng Xin hissed, snatching up pen and paper to scribble it down. He bit his finger to draw blood, and wrote each stroke of the characters in his name with deliberate intent. “The prince’s noble lineage would produce no lesser results.”

“What’s wrong with being beautiful and dumb as shit?” Shi Qing Xuan blew on her nails, annoyed. “How narrow-minded.”

The lead staffwoman straightened up, and tilted her head, as if listening for something. She then clapped her hands. Two handmaidens separated from the pack that was still mauling Mu Qing, and kneeled obediently in front of their leader.

“Fetch refreshments from the kitchen,” she instructed. “Assorted stuffed buns and fresh fruit. Tea for our honored guest, and a fortification blend for the Master.”

She listened again, then winced. “…an extra strong fortification blend.”

The handmaidens made noises of concern, and murmured words of sympathy.

“Extra strong. Our Lord Master must be suffering.”

“Suffering so terribly.”

“Our poor Master. Would but the Lord Prince ease him with a touch of his sweet hand.”

“You sure that would ease him?”

“Not in the least.”

“Absolutely not.”

Shi Qing Xuan absolutely hated being out of the loop on gossip. She scooted in close, determined to know the details.

“Hey. Hey. What’s this special blend? What’s this about suffering?”

“Tea blended with dragon blood wine. Master takes it when he requires courage in the face of great adversity.” The lead staffwoman shivered in fear. “To think that Master requires a double dosage…the Lord Prince must truly be a terrifying force.”

Shi Qing Xuan was overjoyed to hear that her hard work was paying off, but the description of that beverage caused her to make a face. “Wine in tea? Even I think that sounds kinda nasty. Medicine is medicine, I suppose…”

“Dragon blood wine possesses no taste on its own, and is light as air – it will mix with anything seamlessly, and amplifies the taste of the vessel tenfold. And,” the lead staffwoman continued. “It is not for the faint of composure. It took Master many centuries to build enough tolerance to partake in even one cup.”

“Now, sister, that sounds like you’re challenging me.” Shi Qing Xuan grinned. “Why doncha get the lovebirds their snacks and then bring a bottle of that dragon stuff back here for us to have a little tasting session?”

“Drinking in a demon’s stronghold—you—poor excuse for—” Mu Qing choked out around his captor’s hold on his neck.

Shi Qing Xuan waved him off dismissively. “You’re not participating anyway, Mu Qing. You’re the designated driver. Someone’s gotta be sober to work the array to get us back home when we’re done. Ladies, let me tell you the story of the time when I got totally wasteyface and wound up array-ing myself right into the bedroom of a notorious pirate captain…”

 --

 It had only been a few minutes since Hua Cheng had called for the kitchen, but it seemed like it had been hours. The air in the room seemed so heavy, so…expectant.

Xie Lian had set about writing out more passages for Hua Cheng to practice with, and he – he could barely focus on the paper. Hua Cheng was looking at him. Whenever Xie Lian looked up from his work, Hua Cheng pretended as if he wasn’t, but Xie Lian could feel his gaze on him like a palpable weight. A palpable warmth, growing hotter by the second, prickling and burning on the nape of his neck. Hua Cheng was always looking at him, it seemed, and Xie Lian thought he was used to his eccentricities, but – dressed like this, Xie Lian felt more self-conscious than normal. Xie Lian adjusted the collar of his borrowed robe nervously. The scent on the robe calmed him just as much as it made the burning more keen. He was trapped between two endpoints.

The arrival of the snacks was a welcome tension-breaker. The moment the door slid open, Xie Lian sprang to his feet and collected the tray from the surprised handmaiden.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll carry this over; please don’t trouble yourself.”

The handmaiden paused, nodded, and then bowed and took her leave.

The tray had an assortment of delicious treats – Hua Cheng always seemed to have Xie Lian’s favorite things in his pantries; even fresh fruit that was out of season. He was eager to have a bun or three, but first, he was parched. And the tea smelled wonderful. Especially the tea in Hua Cheng’s mug – so fragrant and rich. His own tea was waiting, but surely Hua Cheng wouldn’t mind if he took a quick taste.

He set the tray down on Hua Cheng’s desk, and settled down across from him; Hua Cheng’s cup in hand. Hua Cheng surveyed the tray, looking confused, then looked back up at Xie Lian just in time to see him take a drink from his cup.

“Delicious,” Xie Lian proclaimed the blend. “Though maybe steeped a bit too strong for my taste.”

“Dianx—gege!”

Suddenly, Xie Lian found the cup snatched from his hands; faster than he could blink. Hua Cheng clutched the cup in his grip, and was staring at him with something that was almost like…panic? It was such a strange emotion to see on Hua Cheng’s face. Unthinking in his curiosity, he reached out his hand to trace Hua Cheng’s jaw…

…it was…

…seriously…such a nice jaw…

“I’m sorryyyy,” Xie Lian said, patting and stroking Hua Cheng’s face as he spoke. Patting and stroking that seriously nice jaw. “San Lang. San Lang. I’m sorry I sipped your tea. I have my own tea but I sipped yours instead. San Lang. I’ll rub your shoulders to make up for sipping your tea.”

Determined to make good on his shoulder-rubbing promise, Xie Lian climbed on top of Hua Cheng’s desk and, before he could react, plopped himself into Hua Cheng’s lap. Mission phase one complete. He was now in the proximity of Hua Cheng’s shoulders. It was time for mission phase two to begin: rub Hua Cheng’s shoulders. Xie Lian wrapped his arms around Hua Cheng’s neck to drag himself into a better position, but in the process, found that it was just as nice to rest his head against Hua Cheng’s chest instead. So firm. So firm and yet squishy at the same time. Xie Lian unwound one arm from Hua Cheng’s neck and squeezed at Hua Cheng’s chest in appreciation. He bet that if he bit him here it’d be like biting a nice juicy peach.

“Please,” Hua Cheng said in a strained voice. His hands came up to keep Xie Lian still; keep him from squirming around. “You’re…not in your right mind. That tea wasn’t intended for you.”

“I liked it,” Xie Lian replied. “A lot. Strong and smells nice. Like you. San Lang is strong and smells so nice.”

His borrowed robe had slipped down his right shoulder and arm again. So annoying. It could just stay there if it was going to keep being difficult, and Xie Lian and Hua Cheng would have fun without it. They would go on a walk in the gardens and they wouldn’t even invite it with them. But they didn’t need to go to the gardens to have fun, though. Everything in the room was all glowy and hazy, except for Hua Cheng, who was glowy and hazy and also handsome and nice-smelling, with a squishy chest. Xie Lian squinted at Hua Cheng’s braid, and moved his wandering hand from Hua Cheng’s chest to twirl the braid around his finger.

“So thick.” Xie Lian was, of course, referring to Hua Cheng’s hair. “I bet I could use it as a brush to write with. What happens if I play with it? Will San Lang be mad at me?”

Hua Cheng’s hands grew heavier on his hips. Xie Lian discovered that he really, really liked the feeling of that squeeze. He wrapped Hua Cheng’s braid around his finger, then gave it a little tug. The noise that Hua Cheng made sent a shiver shooting up Xie Lian’s spine; made his back arch.

The world spun around him, and suddenly, he was on his back on the floor. Hua Cheng hovered above him, crouched on elbow and forearm like a prowling tiger about to pounce. He was – he was looking at him again. The fire was blazing in Xie Lian’s brain, and spread through his body like flames in an overgrown wood. Xie Lian shivered again. He reached out blindly, and found what he was looking for. Hua Cheng’s hand settled atop Xie Lian’s, where it rested on his cheek.

“I’m going to take you to bed,” Hua Cheng murmured, his voice so deep and low that it sent Xie Lian’s head spinning. “I am going to carry you to my room, I am going to tuck you into my bed, and then I am going to stand guard outside the door all night to protect your virtue against roaming scoundrels.”

Xie Lian made a feeble noise of protest. The sound died in his throat when Hua Cheng turned his face to nuzzle into Xie Lian’s palm and press a kiss there. His eye slipped shut, and for a moment, he let his lips linger on Xie Lian’s skin. Perhaps he’d cast a spell – Xie Lian felt heavy and pliant, and quite content to let Hua Cheng pick him up. An arm under his legs, an arm supporting his back, carrying him as carefully and protectively as he did in the Sinner’s Pit. He let his cheek rest against Hua Cheng’s chest, and let the cadence of Hua Cheng’s stride lull him into a dreamy half-slumber.

He was still awake enough to hear the rattle of dice as they passed through doors, still awake enough to hear the jingling of Hua Cheng’s jewelry as they walked. Still awake enough to feel the soft pillows meeting his head as he was lowered into a comfortable nest of blankets and cushions. Still awake enough to murmur Hua Cheng’s name as he felt his presence retreat, and still awake enough to feel the brush of fingers on his cheek.

But, alas, sleep overtook him before he could register the touch of lips on his forehead.

 --

 “I hope you’ve learned some kind of lesson from this,” Mu Qing said flatly.

“I never learn anything, ever,” Shi Qing Xuan mumbled. “It’s bad for the skin.”

They had bid their farewells to their new friends at Paradise Manor in the early morning, before the master of the house and his special guest awoke. And now, here they were back in heaven, with Shi Qing Xuan was nursing the worst hangover she’d had in the past three centuries. Mu Qing and Feng Xin were still intruding in her home, pestering her every few minutes to undo the charm she’d cast to turn them into women. Honestly, they were so rude. It was like they didn’t appreciate all the hard work that she and the other girls had put in to make them look lovely. Rude and unappreciative and loud. Shi Qing Xuan’s head was pounding.

“And you!” Mu Qing continued, addressing Feng Xin, who had been looking at himself in the mirror for the past few hours. “That’s what you get for playing games with the likes of them! What did you bet on that nonsense wager, hm? Your armory? Your palace? Half your temples?”

Feng Xin touched up a smudge of his lipstick with his finger, and raised an eyebrow at Mu Qing. “We’ll see about nonsense, Mu Qing. The dice have not yet finished their roll.”

Shi Qing Xuan squinted at the sky to judge the time. Late afternoon. Surely, she could check in on Xie Lian now, to see how things had gone. One of the handmaidens had reported seeing their Master carrying a swooning Xie Lian into his bedchambers, so Shi Qing Xuan had high hopes for the success of her plans. She straightened herself up, and tapped her fingers to her temple to reach out to Xie Lian via the heavenly array.

It took several attempts before she got a response.

“…windmaster?” came Xie Lian’s groggy-sounding voice.

“The one and only!” It was difficult to sound peppy, but she pressed on. “Sooo, how’s it going?”

“…I’m sorry, I’m not really in a state to chat right now.”

He sounded so depressed that Shi Qing Xuan was immediately concerned.

“What’s wrong? You usually come back from your little visits to Sweetheart City with a pep in your step.”

Xie Lian made an irritated sound. “Windmaster, please. I…I got sick and embarrassed myself.”

Shi Qing Xuan wheedled an explanation out of him. Spilling ink on himself and having to borrow clothes, getting sick off “tea” (geez, she could at least empathize with the headache he probably had) and climbing all over Crimson Rain Seeks Flower like a monkey on a tree, then having to be bodily carried off to bed before he fell asleep on the floor. Shi Qing Xuan’s heart sank. It sounded like no canoodling had occurred, none at all. She had failed in her mission, and let down the hopes of every resident in the Ghost City who had money riding on that pot.

But, she would not let this failure set her back. No – she would allow it to steer her to greater heights. It sounded like Crimson Rain Seeks Flower was a consummate gentleman through the ordeal, and it would now be her mission to deliver him salvation, just as it was her mission to find Xie Lian a big strong man. It was really convenient that both missions dovetailed so nicely.

“Xie Lian, come up to my palace and you can tell me all about it. I wanna do your nails again; Mu Qing and Feng Xin are here, too. We can get takeout and listen to the literature gods have their stupid nerd fights in their array channel.”

“No we’re not!” Mu Qing shouted. “We’re not! Damn it, at least make us men again before he gets here!”

“I can manage a little bit longer,” Feng Xin commented.

“…that sounds nice,” Xie Lian finally said. “I just left San Lang’s manor, I won’t be too long.”

“Don’t drag your feet, darling,” Shi Qing Xuan said cheerfully. “You know how much fun it is to hear Ling Wen snap and start going for the throat.”

Shi Qing Xuan was master of the winds, a master of matchmaking, and a master of not knowing when to quit. And she had all the time in eternity to keep trying.

There was always another day.