#like hes so trauma filled

[tomoathestory]

Meet:

!Aaron Andrés Kaiser-Reyes!

Aaron is the kinda guy who would unexpectedly be your ride or die friend. He usually acts really sarcastic and mean, but that's not him at all (hes really sarcastic tho, always). When it comes down to his core, he cares, like, alot. For his found family and for his (future) boyfriend. He also is a very determined guy, and gets what he wants. But not in a bratty way. He tends to put the blame on himself more than others around him and will attempt to dispose of himself (or what he thinks is the problem) before thinking of something else. He breaks himself down more than anyone around him, and thinks the worse of himself. He used to struggle with an eating disorder for a few years, but has gotten a lot better about it because of his best friend, Vesper. (Tbh, I might change V's name later, idk yet!!)

Outfits he'd wear:

Loves layers, layers are like, heaven to him. He also has a lot of scars that he doesn't think are attractive on him so he hides them. (He still thinks scars are cool, but just not himself, ykwim?)

He wears a lot of darker colors, mainly because it makes him happy, and he feels comfy. Loves accessories, and will accessorize every outfit he wears. Rings and necklaces are his main go-to, but he will wear bracelets/ankle bracelets and other jewelry.

When him n Kiran finally start dating, they have matching necklaces. Kiran has a lock, and Aaron has a key LMAO

[ryssbelle]

He's alive!

Accidentally launched my Clay minifigure off my desk at mach 5 speeds but now hes sort of standing up so it's a win!

Floyd's still concerned tho

[batsyvie]

she reminds him of his rose

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

and now, a break from our normal schedule for my Favorite cat dad and his lovely vagabond son

[paintedpeeta]

I know everyone loves talking about Katniss and Peeta being affectionate in everyday life and mirroring her parents, but I also go crazy about them being affectionate and Peeta realizing he has a safe home filled with love unlike his parents. I just imagine him remembering his parents just tensely being with each other and contrasting that with him and Katniss who are always touching in some way and greet each other with kisses and hugs.

no because throughout the first two books he’s so physically affectionate to her (even though i’d assume this isn’t learned behaviour from his home) can you IMAGINE what it’s like when they’re safe and living together and in an established relationship? when he realises that she enjoys and takes comfort from his affections??

[firminfollowing]

I Do Not, I Do Not, I Do Not

(tw: religious trauma, LDS/Mormonism)

I do not miss the people.

or the way they made me feel.

I do not miss the steeple

or the couch, the walls, the kneel.

I do not miss your doctrine

or the books you made me read,

but every night I think about

the sinners made to bleed.

I do not miss the classes

or the lessons that they'd preach,

but even now I wonder

what pain was really meant to teach.

I do not miss the bathroom

or that place behind the stage.

I do not miss their loving eyes

that promised "love, not rage."

I do not miss the game nights

or the treats they always served.

I do not miss the way I felt

there was nothing I deserved.

I do not miss the bruises

the floor kissed into my knees.

I do not miss the iron rod

or the visions of the trees.

I do not miss the serpent,

the apple so misunderstood.

I do not miss the echo

of the sinner that I was.

I do not miss the people.

or the way they made me feel,

but, by god, I miss the steeple

the couch, the walls, the kneel.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[haine-kleine]

a slightly surrealistic take on why the Dabi is never around:

when Touya was still in coma, AFO didn't let go of his plan to prepare the boy as his future vessel. the state of his body allowed AFO to take more risks with him, and thus he gave Touya an experimental quirk he engineered, one that could give him Yoichi back. the quirk can take the user to the alternate universe where his greatest desire is fulfilled, while still keeping them tethered to their original reality, allowing to freely move between the worlds if they so desire.

when Touya woke up from the coma and ran back home, the shock of what he saw there had activated his new quirk. he is thirteen again. he is also the only son of Todoroki Enji, Fuyumi is now his only sibling. his hair is red again, like it used to be, like it always was supposed to be, and he doesn't burn anymore, the grotesque skin grafts only an uncomfortable memory. his father looks at him with such pride it takes Touya's breath away. he got so used to having to beg for sideway glances from his dad, like the very sight of Touya makes him ashamed. this new world is a dream come true, everything he ever wanted put directly into his palms. his body does not betray him, his father entrusted his dream to him, his heir, his only heir, his mother and sister supporting him instead of turning away from him.

and then he remembers Shouto. little Shouto, who was born perfect, born to replace him. he remembers attacking him when he was just a baby. he was so little then, and he vividly recalls the burning hatred that consumed him, how much he wanted Shouto, that perfect thing, gone.

Shouto was never born in this world. as Touya thrives in this dreamlike reality, he can't help thinking about the missing parts. did his dream kill Shouto? did it kill Natsuo? is he worse than the father he left behind in that horrible world, the father that made children like objects to be used? the more he thinks about it, the less enjoyable this new world becomes to him. his mother, who looks at him and at Enji with such open fondness, his sister who is his best friend now, who proudly tells her classmates about her brother, who is training to become the greatest hero, his father who doesn't even seem like the same man he had been chasing for nine years. his own selfish happiness. is all of that worth the price two little boys paid for it? is he truly so self centered to think his happiness is more important than the lives of his own brothers? had his father not stopped him, would he have actually killed little Shouto?

as he starts dwelling on this more and more, missing his little brothers, fixating on the guilt of erasing them from existence by proxy of being born the 'right way', he activates the quirk again. in the new universe he is 10 years old, and as soon as he sees Natsuo he bursts into tears. his little brother worriedly asks what father did this time, and Touya can't form any reply, pulling Natsuo in a tight hug. this is the first time Natsuo's brother has hugged him. later, when Touya calms down enough to stop squeezing Natsuo like he's going to disappear, the boys leave their shared room. what Touya sees next doesn't make any sense.

'Touya-nii, Natsu-nii, let's play!' a tiny boy with a gap toothed smile and rosy cheeks holds out a ball to them.

Shouto had never been allowed to step foot in the hall on this side of the building. father never allowed them to even look at each other directly. Touya's breath catches in his throat, his heart starting to beat rapidly. he hears the loud footsteps that are about to be followed by screaming, why did Shouto think this was a good idea to come here-

then the real Enji passes them by, reminding Shouto about the afternoon training, ruffling Touya's hair on his way to leave.

if the previous world was a dream come true, this one is extremely confusing.

eventually he learns that the difference here is that he had never attacked Shouto, and his father had never isolated his youngest brother from the rest of the siblings. all four of the Todoroki children are allowed to spend time together. remembering the heavy weight Natsuo and Shouto's absence put on his chest in the previous world, he decides to let go. it was him who wanted all of his siblings, and he already got to live his dream once. his vulnerability to fire is back, and the memory of burning alive is suddenly a vivid nightmare keeping him up at night. he looks at his mother's calm, relaxed face, as she watches a movie with the children. he thinks back to the stitched up, unfamiliar face he saw looking back at him in the hospital mirror. he thinks back to Fuyumi-chan's words, from when they were little. she doesn't want to see him hurt. he doesn't want to be hurt either. is it really so bad to let go? he glances at his family. Shouto is snoring his icy snot bubble with his head on their mother's knees. Natsuo is gripping Touya's shirt tightly, pushing his head into his shoulder, pretending he is not crying about the sentimental scene that is happening on the screen. Fuyumi is invested in the movie, but after hearing Touya's snort glances at their younger brothers and exchanges a grin with him. the calmness he feels here is like a warm blanket, the comfort such a faraway memory he had almost forgotten this feeling. would it really be so bad to let go and enjoy it?...

he wakes up once again. he is not at home and he is alone this time. 'wake up, sleepyhead', ghosts of children whisper to him, and the dread starts to sink in. he is back in his original world, the garish scars on his whole body as stark as he remembers them. he learns that two years have passed since he woke up from coma. he is no longer a middle schooler, Todoroki Enji's heir training to become the number one hero, nor a ten years old boy surrounded by an accepting and caring family. he is an adult, covered in self inflicted scars, with nowhere to go to. he feels like a child who had his candy taken away. it's so unfair! were those worlds just dreams his sick mind hallucinated while he was in another coma, and who on earth had been taking care of him this time?

this sends him back to the first alternate universe. he is back to being Enji's pride, separated from his brothers.

this goes on for a long time, as he clumsily learns to control this world travelling quirk. he spends as much time as possible in the two worlds, using them to escape the progressively glaring reality of the time slipping through his fingers, becoming a disfigured homeless adult having to fend for himself. on a particularly nasty night, his hunger and loneliness equally suffocating, he decides to come back home. if being away from his family is the main problem, then he can simply come back, can't he? maybe, if he stayed when he came back for the first time, if he didn't start crying and ran away from the sight of his father training his youngest brother in his place, if he revealed himself, they would have accepted him like they did in the second world. he misses the comforting chill of his mother's touch. he misses his father, the memories of the monster who beat his mother and his youngest son drifting away in the mess of the conflicting memories he made as a world traveler. he looks down at his reflection in the muddy puddle, the street lights painting his rough features red. he takes a deep breath, and heads in the direction of the Todoroki mansion.

he doesn't even get past the gate before Endeavor's sidekick almost arrests him. Enji joins in to the chase, and the cold derisive detachment his father looks at him makes him stumble. he escapes on pure adrenaline, overexerting his quirk and nearly burning both of his arms off. this is how he meets Giran. this is when he decides to stay in this world permanently. even if it feels like being thrown out from heaven straight to hell, he can't indulge in this escapism anymore, wasting the years he has left in the real world. he has to steel himself and make do with the life he has in this world, separated from his family. Todoroki Touya was left behind in the past, in other worlds, a faraway concept buried by time and space and impossibility of his existence, stretched thin between three different lives.

***

Dabi is a very weird individual. it’s a commonly accepted opinion in the League of Villains, a group consisting exclusively of weird individuals.

Shigaraki won’t tell this to anyone, but the initial reason he let Dabi join, let him stay, despite his rudeness and open lack of interest in his, his leader's case, is because the man is a mystery, one even his Sensei is fascinated with. when he disappears without any warning for the first time, Shigaraki uses all of his resources to try and track Dabi, to punish him for his betrayal. a week goes by, and he turns to Sensei with a humble request for help. his Sensei doesn't even appear angry with his failure, informs him that Dabi is going to be impossible to find until he allows himself to be. Shigaraki knows that Dabi has a fire quirk, how is this possible? does he have an ally who will hide him with their quirk? but even Giran didn’t know where the man disappeared to, didn’t crack even when Shigaraki made Twice, the sweet unassuming man he knew Giran trusted, contact him asking for help with locating Dabi. he ponders this, scratching viciously at his neck (Kurogiri pulls his hands away), and the look on his Sensei’s face, an almost gleeful smile, the proud tone of his voice, make him stop.

does Dabi actually have two quirks?..

***

despite the common notion, Toga is not actually the harebrained cutesy teenage girl that she pretends to be. what she is, is a good judge of character, and a very good actor. it takes one to know one, and she cracks Dabi’s mask before she even learns the man’s name. everything about him feels artificial. she knows Shigaraki and Spinner are pissed at him for not being serious about the League of Villains. she feels Dabi isn’t serious about anything. the more time she spends around him, the more she feels like she is interacting with a very bad actor who landed a role he never wanted to participate in. when he is not active on villain duty, it’s like he isn’t sure what his script should be, hiding behind his phone most of the time.

 still, when Shigaraki throws his second tantrum because Dabi came back after two weeks of no contact, she finds the sulking man hiding from everyone in the garage.

“you should learn to be a better actor, if you want to pull your thing off”, she tells him in a serious voice. it’s their first serious interaction, and Toga feels like a predator stalking her prey. no matter how much Dabi shows off his scars and throws insults around, he can’t hide the fast pumping of his heart. she allows herself to look at him, really look at him at him, and she finds that his glittery blue eyes don’t belong on his face. his eyes are too honest, too open, raw emotion presented like an open book. after a long moment of silent eye contact, he slumps in defeat, hugging his knees and making such forlorn sight that Toga almost feels bad for him.

“i will, just don't tell on me”.

no one is sure how old Dabi actually is, his voice so raspy it could belong to a serial smoker or to an old man, his face too damaged by the scars to make any age lines identifiable, but sometimes the things he says, the tone of his voice, make Toga think of a boy, rather than a man.

[zerodaryls]

it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.

i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.

there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.

'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.

to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.

and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.

but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.

[weirdodorko]

GRRR GHOST COLE im going a little delulu over him help

[palettepainter]

Helluva Boss S2 Episode 9 spoilers

Stolas I am BEGGING you to be with this guy instead of Blitz

[yearnoyama]

Happy birthday ritsuka uenoyama the entirety of given DOSENT DESERVE U AT ALL

[moonlightdancer26]

Me when I remember that Snape would’ve not only been much happier in life but would have so many less tiring debates about him if he had just remained a loyal Death Eater instead of defecting and sacrificing himself for a world that hated him while getting nothing in return:

[chibishortdeath]

Picmix is pretty fun, I’ve made a couple more gifs on there, idk if I should put them all into just one post tho since they’re all different fandoms (TwT). But I do want to share them so uh yeah—

Most recent I’ve made is this one with Richter:

Gonna put it under a cut though cause ⚠️Flash Warning⚠️, there’s some gifs on this one that are just flashing boxes and also ⚠️Eyestrain Warning⚠️, there’s a lot of really contrasting, saturated colors and tiny hard to read text!!!!!!!!

Which, funny story, crashed my computer in the middle of making it and it had to remake it again using a photo I took of it in progress as reference lol. Like straight up crashed harder than task manager could fix, I had to restart the laptop 💀

Yeah, but these are so fun to make, I think I’m gonna make another one today, idk what character yet tho :3

[devilsskettle]

silly goofy that i started watching bates motel because i love norman bates as a character in psycho but i don’t actually like norman bates that much in bates motel. i think some of it has to do with the writing and the pacing of how his mental state progresses but a lot of it is also just the actor. he’s really good at being angry or upset or like when he’s hiding something even but i don’t think he has the range to be both norman and mother. i feel like he was cast based on his appearance but he just doesn’t match the personality of the character in the way i would’ve hoped. a lot of the characters seem to settle after the first season to be a little less contrived and a little more interesting and personable, but norman is pretty one note the whole time. unless he is angry or upset

[spotaus]

Woah!!! Ec-4o.Verse reference?? Bringing you Geno! (With a bunch of notes that are intelligible off to the sides-)

Cropped versions for easier reading/zooming! But to be more fun about it, here's a Lore Recap for each design! (I'd say these designs are from... hmm, a hundred years or so? He's a Boss Monster so he lives a lot longer.)

(Tw: Mentions of Death, Self-Loathing, Mental Illness, and I feel a few other things)

Pre-War:

Geno was a normal guy, had a dayjob, but was beloved by his friends for being a Programmer. He was lazy, had awful work ethic, but would pump out amazing quality work for cheap as long as he was given the time to do things at his own pace. He has a passion for Psychology, but was awful socially, so he designed programs that mimicked mental illnesses in Test Ectos (ectos not embedded with personalities or magic) so people could research mental health without risking patient wellness. He made A.Z. too, the first real mimicry of mental illnesses in children. Geno got attached and kept A.Z. himself, the last prototype of the code. The finalized ones can be found anywhere, but he kept A.Z. around, and even though A.Z. wasn't sentient it was such a good mimicry, Geno practically treated him like a son.

Geno was known for his work, and was contacted by the government of his country to come and work on a big nation-wide upgrade they were planning to improve ecto functionality. Again and again Geno simply ignored their letters, emails, chats, and attempts to call. It wasn't his field of study, so he could care less. So, all that led to the government sending people to confiscate A.Z. from Geno and shut down his workshop under the pretenses of 'unethical programming methods'. He was forced to relocate, and A.Z. was basically held as blackmail to force Geno into working. (Since A.Z. wasn't sentient, he was simply property, and therefore there was no legal issues with the government taking him.)

Before/During the War:

In this time, Geno was among hundreds of other talented people from all across the country who were 'recruited' to work on this project. People who didn't comply with orders went missing, loved ones were "lost" and life projects destroyed. Geno was part of the Programming team (there were also Medical, Bio-Enhineering, and Engineering teams) and he was initially supposed to just shut off the programs within an Ecto that gave them emotion protocols, even the ones infused with magic.

But, as things went on, he was told to do more and more. He was involved in more marketing and branding and announcements. He was made to be on screen, be the face of the change. His background was good for publicity (man who studied ways to harmlessly study mental health) and he was supposedly trustworthy. By day he'd stand up beside someone and listen to them implore people to bring their ectos in for this quality of life upgrade to their nearest government office. By night he'd be slaving away infront of code, being forced to find a way to make these robots kill people. Just enough people. To nullify themselves when it was all over. I'm his despair he tried to make it so that their emotion drives would at least register these events as something positive, so they felt no distress if they were sentient. He tried so hard to stop but any backlash did nothing. So he kept his head down and worked quietly.

And then he was transferred locations. Somewhere closer to the heart of the operation. He met Sci, a man unaware of the Culling Orders or the heartache, because they government had been treating him well. He was a bio-engineer, and his project (nicknamed Fresh) was like if a self-healing code was a living thing and could slow, or even heal, wounds. The government wanted it, in the case that it could unlock immortality. Sci was getting funding and a cushy life. Geno realized Fresh was the best way he coukd possibly end all of this war that was in the works. For good.

So he poured hid heart and soul into finishing that code. "A change of heart prompted by wanting so desperately for his prized project, AZ, to be saved" He claimed. There were a few useful bots that filled through the office. He offered to install code that would prevent the Culling Order from activating inside them since they were going to be preserved. While adding code he added failsafes and kill codes and important information from his and others work he wanted saved. He added the names of every researcher he knew had been drafted into this unwillingly. He did it in secret, so entrenched in code only another programmer would notice.

And then the war started, and Sci learned the truth, and people started dying. Geno had to convince Sci to help him after that. Sci feared being killed. He feared not being able to finish his work. He feared not being protected from the pain and destruction outside. It was a long plenty of *years* that Geno had to configure just the right plan, just the right way to ensure that Sci abd Fresh would survive it. That the rest of the base would be no threat and that it'd stop the Ectos and the Culling Code.

And then he did it. He put an end to the war, at the price of all the power on the continent running to every piece of tech, and at the price of his own arm and eye.

Post-War:

Geno was disfigured. He knew that to make an EMP large enough to cut off all electricity, he would need to overload his own master consol to the point of battery meltdown. An explosion. He didn't tell Sci. Only mentioned he'd need Fresh on-hand. So when it exploded, his left arm (non-dominent just like he planned), his chest, and the right side of his skull (his left eye was better) were demolished in the blast and dusted near instantly. Sci and Fresh managed to save his life, and Sci, resident Bio-Engineer, was able to replace his missing limbs and his wounds with spare ecto parts over the course of a few weeks.

Geno was slow to recover, nearly on the verge of falling down during recovery (He didn't know where they'd stored A.Z. if he was even still in-tact, he had been the reason so many humans and monsters had died, and now to reverse his mistake he'd taken out the electricity the country had been relying on for the past thousands of years.) But he pushed through. He was Determined. He needed to get to the four robots he embedded information and failsafes into. But they were scattered across the country for aafe-keeping. Incase he'd failed. So he has to hunt them down.

As soon as he can he leaves. Sci stays. Geno promises he'll come back (he doesn't). Geno takes a medical uniform, packs the supply belt with programming tools, and moves out. He enters the main story while on this trek to hunt down his Ectos. Not a single one is where they should've been, and he can't help but be furious, praying to a non-existant God that they weren't scrapped by heathens out for parts or destroyed in a rage by scared survivors.

Looking for the four? One day their trackers finally Light up again. One by one. All in the same location. And Geno follows it like a moth to the flame.