#like hello you are fooling no one

[shallowseeker]

me counting backwards from a hundred when a family member (extended, visiting) nitpicks my speech and then pretends i’m the bad guy for calling them out on pedantry

like duuude

[soupmanspeaks]

rip william afton you wouldve been a terrible family vlogger

[hyperbolicgrinch]

✨ weekend wip exposure club ✨

rules: post 7 sentences/a snippet of an unfinished work

@theotherwhybietoldmeso & @killerandhealerqueen

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. Forgive me. I was fighting demons (imposter syndrome, crippling self doubt, fatigue, and a wild pack of mental illnesses). (⁠◕⁠દ⁠◕⁠) But! I'm finally back after like three ass weeks. <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> So, here! A v unserious snippy from my we have to stay silly modern kidlaw au (yeah, shocker, it's them bastards again) that I've been doing sometimes on the side just for shits n giggles. 〜⁠(⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠)⁠〜

The call connected and Killer's accent crackled out of the speaker. “Law? What's up?”

“Nothing urgent. I just need to know if Eustass h—”

“Yeah, his phone’s dead again. He's in the shed. You want him?”

“What?”

“Hang on. I'll get him.”

Law pinched the bridge of his nose. Squeezed his eyes shut till he saw pinpricks. “No, I just need to know if—”

"Oi, Kid! Your boyfriend wants to speak ta ya!"

Law snapped his eyes back open and nearly crushed his phone as his hand clenched in a useless attempt to smother the speaker.

Ahead of him in the aisle, hands in his pockets, Cora stopped. His leg held out in front of him as he froze mid-stride.

Dammit.

After a beat, as if he'd been waiting for what he'd heard to start making a little more sense, Cora slowly turned on his heel. His other leg still stuck out in front of him and the hem of his heart-covered button-up twirling with him.

He stared wide-eyed at Law. The embodiment of flabbergasted. His raised boot absently clicking down on the supermarkets’ bland tiling like an accompanying exclamation point.

Dammit!

"He's not my damn boyfriend!" Eustass yelled, taking the words out of Law's mouth.

The heavy rock blasting from the shed’s stereo lowered enough in volume to not blow out Law's phone speaker and Eustass' voice dropped several octaves as he brought Killer's phone up to his ear.

“Miss me, did ya, sweetheart?”

His eyes bulging, Cora took several steps back in bewilderment and tripped over one of the restocking boxes stacked in the aisle.

"Shut up, Eustass!" Law snapped. His face igniting alongside his fury. "You're on speaker!"

There was a pause so pregnant it had reached its third trimester. Then Eustass chuckled. It had a grotesque amount of facetious glee in it.

"Am I now?"

So. That had been a mistake. But Law could only double down now.

"Behave," he said through clenched teeth. "Or I'll—"

"You'll what? Don't go making promises you can't keep, princess."

Cora toppled back over the box trying to get up and landed on his back with his legs sticking straight up.

"I'm going to—!" Catching Cora's eye from down on the floor, Law sighed. "Doesn't matter. I'll deal with you later. Cora-san wants to know if you have any dietary restrictions.”

He scrunched down into his jacket. Tense. Gritting his teeth. Law still wasn't sure how Cora had talked him into letting him come over and cook dinner. But if it had been a bad idea before, it was a horrendous one now.

Eustass Kid was an arsehole. Always had been. Always would be. Always was. There wasn't a chance in hell he could be trusted not to—

"Hold up. Cora's there?"

"Yesss," Law hissed, ready to brain him.

“Put him on then.”

“Don't tell me what to do!”

Cora looked from Law to the phone and then accepted it when Law clicked his tongue on his teeth in irration and offered it down to him.

Tagging @schwazombie (no pressure. You keep working on those kidlawgust prompts if you're still on a roll 😊) and anyone else that wants to give it a whirl ✨✨

[fedorah-the-explorah]

my inability to take anything about "the crackle goes kiwi caper" seriously vs. my adoration for that scene... FIGHT

[nandermoenthusiast]

i do think it is a crime that i dont have any video editing skills because sometimes i hear a song and i see an amv that could make us cry so clearly in my minds eye…

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

[angeltism]

guh being grey-recipro-whateverthefuck romantic is so annoying wahh. i mean nice bc i don't currently have a crush to worry abt or somethin but also wahh.

[keeps-ache]

i have been BETRAYED. i've been thrown to the grappling arms of damnation and i've found that the exit was merely a dim recollection of another place !!

[marklikely]

if all my crowns and fillings could stay in my fucking mouth from now on that would be cool

[tastyflowers]

ahhh I need to get PUMPED. I have been psyching myself up to go out tonight for like a month. there’s a new very cute lesbian night in town and it sounds so so fun and I have a ticket and aaaah I’m so sleepy. I gotta go. I gotta. I have GOT to get gayer even if it kills me

[fandom-fae]

why is no one talking about this omg shgasdkljdfglk

[erythristicbones]

i can totally write this tragedy without making myself abysmally sad (lying through their teeth)

[etlu-yume]

I know it says "in the tags" but.

I was about to say 'hands down it was Gordon's Lemon Gin" but then something reminded me about Bundaberg Spiced Rum.

The Lemon Gin was an utter disappointment. I think I still made it through the bottle (with some help from similarly disappointed helpers). You know how Lemon has like. Two kinds of lemon flavour? Like that sweet lemon flavour you'd expect from pies or lemon and poppyseed muffins, vs that almost bitter and sour citrus you get from very few - but often enough to recognize - sources?

It was very definitely not sweet lemon. I would not pair that in any way, shape, or form with anything sweet.

(Which is a shame! The pink gin? lovely. The tangerine? Not bad! The lemon though I would run for the hills)

The Bundaberg Spiced Rum, however.

I never thought I'd find something that tasted like burning plastic.

They proved me wrong.

It was probably the most foul, worst thing I've tried. I think we even tried mixing it with coke, and that couldn't save it.

tell me in the tags either the worse drink you've ever had or what you do to alcohol to make it palatable

[dandyghest]

i like that the little fella is spinning in my top posts preview! it makes me very happy to have him greet me from his microwave whenever i open the door on this blog!

[angeltism]

what is it with waterparks having songs that resonate so deeply with 2022 sonia

[veilblight]

i could. manually save in rdr2. this whole time