#like he's tragic it's sad but like !! he's still CHOOSING to do things that hurt people

[writterings]

(Please) Tell me about the novel of the two dudes who are incels, I'm really curious

hehe thank you for being curious!

basically my master's thesis is a novel about incel culture (as well as some other internet phenomena but I don't want to give away too much info about this since I do want to try to get this published -- i.e. im just over protective of my ideas lol) and how this older guy in his 20s basically grooms this ostracized and abused teen boy into incel culture -- kinda like how it happens in real life a lot of the time. and the teen boy has a crush on a femme-presenting nonbinary person in his class who he's trying to get to know better but, like, is still being groomed into into a bigoted and harmful ideology that's often against anything queer. so the novel is overall about how this teen character navigates the world while hearing one side of the general social/culture argument while also being groomed into another side.

there's also a lot more that's going to happen in this, especially in terms of some other characters who i haven't mentioned, but that's the general gist of it!

[amethystina]

Hello ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

I hope you’re doing better, both physically and mentally. I know you’ve been through a lot recently, and I truly hope you’re finding moments of peace and comfort in this difficult time.

I wanted to reach out because I usually connect with your thoughts on The Devil Judge, and I’m curious to see if we align on this perspective as well. I've noticed that many in the fandom view Yohan as being kinder and more selfless than he seems, believing he truly cares about people and their struggles. But from my perspective, it feels different. I think Yohan recognizes others' pains, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he empathizes deeply with them or feels much sympathy.

What do you think?

it’s always a pleasure to hear your thoughts.

May the rest of your day be filled with moments of calm and joy.

Hi there 💜

Unfortunately, I'm not doing the greatest but, well, that's sort of the norm right now? It could be worse, in all honesty. Me and my wife have some friends visiting from our university days, though, which is lovely! But that also means I'm going to be even more absent from here this coming week. Just a head's up.

Anyhow! Since I don't really read fics or metas for The Devil Judge I admit that I don't know what the consensus of the fandom is on any given subject. Except, perhaps, what I can glimpse in comments on my fics or in the asks I receive here on Tumblr. This means that whatever opinions I express are usually my own without influence from anyone else, which makes them very subjective, pretty limited, and, perhaps, not as well-rounded as if I had spent time discussing them with someone else. And I just want everyone to remember that whenever I answer one of these asks.

These are my opinions but I'm not going to claim that I'm right or that my thoughts are the only valid ones. They might, in fact, be spectacularly wrong since I never run them by anyone before I express them.

So, with that out of the way: Yo Han is not a kind man.

That's not to say that he's incapable of compassion or empathy, but his ability to relate to other people is, at the very least, severely stunted. I know that some think that he must have an antisocial personality disorder but, personally, I'm not comfortable diagnosing him with anything. I'm just not qualified to make that kind of assessment.

But what I can say is that he's definitely not a very considerate man.

But, as with all things Yo Han, the subject is a little more complex than that — and stems back to his childhood and past trauma.

To make a long story short, I think that Yo Han is emotionally mature and intelligent enough to recognise right from wrong. I also agree with you that he can see when people are in pain and, in some ways, probably relate to them. But what he actually does with that information depends entirely on who the person is and what scale we're talking about.

Because, as we see in the drama, Yo Han doesn't really care what happens to the people outside of his small, chosen circle. He was clearly shaken when Han So Yoon was kidnapped and K died, for example, but the unidentifiable mass of "the Korean people" doesn't interest him as much. Yo Han is incredibly loyal, yes, and capable of a fierce, all-consuming kind of love, but it's reserved for a selected few.

As for everyone else?

Not his problem.

And while that's pretty uncaring — ruthless, even — I think it's in part because of his childhood. He was so isolated that he can't really relate to people, only made worse by the fact that his mind probably doesn't work like most people's do. So even if he deeply loves someone, his empathy is still a bit patchy. He's used to pushing through pain and heartache and doesn't quite seem to understand that other people aren't — or at least not to the extent that he does it. Yo Han is a master at compartmentalising but doesn't understand that he's an outlier in that.

And so his ability to relate to people and understand their pain is severely limited. Because he's not working with the same variables as everyone else. Something that will barely faze him is enough to completely break someone else and despite being so clever, I don't think he understands that.

And it's even worse when you look at it on a wider scale. He's even less sympathetic when it's people he doesn't know personally and, quite frankly, I don't think he wants to care about nameless strangers. Yo Han protects and sympathises with the people closest to him — the ones he can see and touch and feel — but he doesn't waste emotional or mental bandwidth on everyone else. In some ways, he might not be capable of that. Because, again, the isolation he was put through as a child probably left quite a lot of scars and made him unable to connect with people in a healthy way.

He's not like Ga On, who genuinely cares about the fate of the common man and their country as a whole. I think that Yo Han sees the suffering and clearly doesn't mind doing a kind act here and there when he gets the opportunity — like donating the prison warden's money — but I still wouldn't call him a kind or a considerate man. He can be but also chooses not to be more often than not.

It doesn't come instinctively to him the way it does for Ga On.

Again, that's not to say that Yo Han doesn't know how to be kind — of course he does — but I don't think he views it the same way most people do. It's almost as if he thinks that kindness is a finite resource and therefore hesitates to waste it on people he doesn't care about on a personal level.

So no, I don't think he genuinely cares about other people's struggles and pain to the degree most people do. But it's not necessarily because he's evil or anything like that, but rather because he's so guarded. I've touched on it a couple of times in Who Holds the Devil, but I think that Yo Han is very cautious to reveal what he wants or admit when he cares about someone, simply because he's afraid of having it taken away or losing the person in question.

And if he were to care about every suffering citizen in South Korea the way Ga On does? I don't think Yo Han could handle that. I think he's shielding himself from that kind of commitment out of sheer self-preservation because every time he cares about someone, he leaves himself vulnerable for heartbreak. And he's not really equipped to deal with that heartbreak should it happen (again: emotionally stunted and childhood trauma)

In some ways, I think Yo Han is too scared to fully care about other people and, even when he does, he's always bracing himself for what he thinks is the inevitable pain of losing them.

But he does want to connect with people. Which means that he can probably learn to be more considerate of people he doesn't love on a personal level, but, again, I'm not sure if he wants to. At least not during the drama or even shortly after it. I think Yo Han is perfectly fine with being the way he is. He doesn't want to be a hero and has no interest in philanthropy — aside from how it might boost his reputation or, alternatively, punish those he thinks are behaving badly (like the prison warden).

But a couple of years down the line if he and Ga On are a couple? I think that Ga On could wear him down enough that Yo Han regularly donates to good causes and such. But Yo Han would do it more because he wants to indulge Ga On than out of any feeling of responsibility of his own. Because, when it comes down to it, I think Yo Han doesn't have any love and devotion to spare for the people outside his immediate circle. Taking care of them is difficult enough what with his upbringing and struggles to understand relationships.

Just like Yo Han says in the drama: I don't care if humanity falls as long as I have you two.

That's what he cares about most and even if he's capable of kindness and compassion, he saves it for the people he thinks matter. But even then I don't think he can empathise as deeply as most people would. Because he just doesn't understand that not everyone has his ability to compartmentalise and briskly deal with their emotions and trauma. I suspect that he thinks that Ga On is a bit too emotional a lot of the time. And even if Yo Han loves Ga On with every fibre of his being, he also thinks that Ga On's inability to control his emotions is both impractical and annoying — maybe even silly. Because Yo Han just doesn't get it.

He can't put himself in Ga On's shoes or understand that some people are just more emotional and need more frequent outlets for said emotions.

So yeah. I don't think that Yo Han is a particularly compassionate or considerate person, and he struggles to fully understand the people he loves, too. It's easier for him to be kind to them, at least, but he can't really empathise with them, either. But I would argue that it's not really his fault so much as a result of his childhood, all the trauma, and how he is a person. And it doesn't mean he's incapable of love or taking care of people — he's just very selective and, sometimes, he'll stumble because he doesn't understand what the fuck is going on x'D

In short: He's a disaster, your honour.

[wordslikesilver]

I swear I’m almost done being mentally ill about Elden Ring I promise but I never see anyone talk about Morgott’s heart wrenching death scene. It’s never overtly pointed out but please imagine the progression of events from his perspective. Lying on his back, staring up at the sky, defeated. He’s one of the ONLY bosses that leaves behind a corpse and it’s heart wrenching okay, it’s OBLITERATING. Because he’s lying there withered and broken, staring up at the golden boughs of the one thing in the world he loved, not the golden order, not the greater will, he loved the Erdtree and dedicated his ENTIRE life to it even though it never loved him back because not even a man as scorned as Morgott could live without love and the love was to keep his heart still beating in his chest when he felt most like a monster. He has spent his entire life keeping this crumbling kingdom together. For his mother, who hid him away so the world wouldn’t hurt him, for his father, the man who taught him how to bear the weight of a crown and stand taller than the ignoble origins you come from. And he was so alone. The only constant in his life being that golden tree that shone down into the sewers. He is the last of all kings. The horns about his brow weighed heavier than his crown.

And then the tree was burning. Lying broken on the ground, unable to truly die, his curse expelled from his body, he could only look up and watch the only thing he loved with all his heart burn down around him. The ashes falling like snow on his face. Can you imagine the heat? The resignation? The misery and the promise that if there’s ever a next time, he’ll do better, and if there isn’t then this shall be his final legacy and he’ll just have to accept that final truth before he dies. The self hatred washing over him and passing into quiet peace as he chooses to pass away together with it. Omens do not get reincarnated by the Erdtree. Loved and blessed by the crucible of life, they are not loved the same as all the rest of us. But that’s okay. For Morgott, that was okay. He would live nobly and die with honour in its service and that would be enough. He’d spend the last moments of his life bathed in the warm ashes of orange and grey, content that even if he never felt loved by anyone at all after being cursed and shunned all his life, he did his duty as best he could and finally repaid the debt he felt towards the tree that showed him the light for so many long, lonely years.

And then, then it makes me so fucking miserable because then a pair of gentle, scarred and terribly rough hands lift him up from the ground and cradle him with all the tenderness in the world. The roar of a lion salutes his passing, honouring him, mourning him. “It’s been a long time, Morgott.” No anger, no disappointment. Simply, sadness, that he could not see you sooner. Godfrey, his father, returned at last to hold him one final time as he passes away, the rune of death now unbound and finding its way to Morgott after all this time. His last memory would be of being held by his father, loved for all that he is in the ashes of all that he dedicated his life to. His body fades, his entire world upheaved one final time, and an easily missed detail in the cutscene is that Morgott’s body becomes a Grace that points towards you, the player, to guide his father to his next step along the path of Lordship. One final time, Godfrey is guided by the unyielding love he feels for one of his children. Fuck it makes me so miserable. How do write something so tragic and not spend more time with it? How do you leave that beauty hidden in the details like it’s not one of the greatest moments of the entire game? It’s so quiet it’s private, almost. Like we’re not supposed to see that side of either of them, being such an outsider. It’s sundering to think about. Annihilating. I love it with all my heart and I hope more people love Morgott too after reading this.

[thecatsaesthetics]

Hello! Hope you're doing well. A while back you said you could write a whole thing about Alysanne being weirdly sinister about her children, especially her daughters and Baelon. I completely forgot that she did not want him to remarry after Alyssa's death which was super odd. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on those things. If you want to that is.

I think Alysanne is an incredibly interesting character, I wouldn't call her sinister because that implies she is doing harm intentionally and I don't view her that way. Alysanne is both villain and victim, and I would classify her more as a tragic character then a sinister one.

I think Alysanne fits with the tragedy that is to be born a Targaryen woman. She is groomed from birth to be her brother's counter part, she is deemed "special" as a dragon rider, she watches as her brother-husband claims that their blood line is "exceptional" and then watches as her family becomes victims to the very common diseases and deaths that happen in Westeros. Her mother dies in childbirth, her son dies an infant, her daughter dies of plague, two of her daughters die in child birth, her son dies in battle, etc.

I think in terms of Baelon, she favored him. He was "hers" whereas Aemon was for Jaehaerys. She is the one who insisted upon a marriage between Baelon and Alyssa, despite Aemon being the son and heir (and thus being in need of a sister-wife counterpart). Baelon and Alyssa relationship mirrors that of Jaehaerys and Alysanne. You can read this meta on Alyssa, which I love because this fandom has really tried to act like Alyssa and Baelon are this "perfect" Targaryen couple but if you read the text closely you can see a bunch of issues that fans ignore.

In terms of Baelon post Alyssa, I don't think Alysanne's actions are sinister but rather her protecting herself. If she truly saw herself in Baelon and Alyssa then Baelon remarrying would be a threat to her own place in this Targaryen legacy. If Alyssa can be replaced, so could she if Jaehaerys needed. Again her marriage to Jaehaerys is what defines her, she was married as a child and groomed to be his wife.

Viserra is a threat in her mind, when really Viserra's actions scream of a child in need of help. First of all, the fact that Alysanne claims that Viserra wants to be Queen because she seems to want to marriage to her brother is very telling. Baelon was not heir at this time, and even if they knew Aemon would have no more children, it still doesn't seem likely that Baelon would have succeeded. Aemon as King could have easily declared his grandson his heir if he didn't want Rhaenys.

So how could Viserra know she would become Queen if she married Baelon? She would be a second wife to a second son. It's more likely that Viserra didn't want to be sent away from family, after watching what happened to her sisters Daella and Saera. So Alysanne's claim is more reflective upon herself, and her own desire to be Queen. And the idea of someone, even her own daughter, taking that from her is hurtful. So she chooses to send Viserra into a marriage where she would likely never seen her family again, to an aging lord (who likely had sons already). It's a punishment for attempting to take what Alysanne has been told is hers, her specialness.

It's just so fucking sad, and I don't necessarily think that Alysanne wanted to be a villain and in many ways she was a victim but she caused lasting trauma on her daughters. Similar to her sister Rhaena, who is both victim and villain, it's the lasting legacy of Targaryen women. They are the counterparts to their brother-husbands and thus also are complicit in their crimes. Alysanne really highlights this, Alysanne ends up alone on Dragonstone. After being denied the right to attempt to see her only living daughter, after being denied her granddaughters birth right, after losing her last daughter to a mysterious end. She is alone, and it seems she dies alone, for all the maesters do to push the idea that Jaehaerys had this great love for her he doesn't even seem to be there when she dies. Nor do we get any indication that he mourned her death. Alysanne is alone, abandoned in a sense. A haunting reminder that Targaryen women might be placed as a "counterpart" to their husband but can never escape or be allowed the same level of power.

[bwat5-blog]

Spoiler Warning for Arcane in its entirety*

An honest look at Silco

Let me start by saying Silco is a great character. The revolutionary who fell prey to “The End Justifies The Means” is a trope that rarely feels fresh or interesting these days, but Silco does. You never doubt his love for his home or for the ideal of what it could be. And like many of the characters, he starts off in the right. The oppression and abuse of the under-city is deplorable on every level. His best friend tries to kill him due to everything they go through and he is left alone, maimed and friendless. However, unlike Jinx or Caitlyn, Silco never finds his way back from the darkness he falls into and its evident in everything he does.

1. Intimidates a young street kid into being mutated by Shimmer

2. Finances the creation of Shimmer in general, experimenting on animals and people (HIS OWN PEOPLE) and flooding the under-city with it creating mutated addicts among other things

3. Uses the shimmer mutant he forced the boy to become to murder the sheriff of piltover ,who had actually tried to keep the enforcers out of the under-city so he can install his own corrupt puppet sheriff Marcus

4. Despite the fact that he promised to make a better Zaun for Felicia’s children, and that he would know who Vi and Powder are, he is completely prepared to murder them both.

5. Various gangster shit. Killing those he wishes, threatening children, all the classics

But of course, Silco’s most important role in this tale is his relationship with Powder/Jinx. The violence between Vander and Silco is tragic. We even see sadness and regret in Silco over what he believes to be Vander’s death. But it is undeniable that through the events he instigates by taking Vander he ends up becoming a “Father” to powder, and the end result is the birth of Jinx.

Silco made Jinx:

1. When Silco finds Powder, she is afraid, overcome with guilt, angry, heartbroken and hurt. Rather than take her and help her through any sort of healthy grieving, Silco weaponizes her. He speaks of revenge, “We’ll show them all”.

2. I don’t doubt Silco loves Jinx as his daughter. The issue is that Silco’s idea and concept of Love are broken. Powder needed help and support overcoming her grief and doubt regarding her role in her families deaths. Instead, she was taught to kill, to consider anyone not “us” as the enemy. “Everyone betrays us Jinx”.

3. We need only look at Jinx’s mental state after years of living with Silco to see how his raising her has changed her. She is not doing well. She is manic, aggressive, hallucinating voices and visions of her dead family, and is still overcome with guilt and self hatred.

4. Upon finding out Vi is alive, Silco immediately moves to have her killed and discredit her to Jinx. Even knowing the “daughter” he loves is buried under so much guilt and loss, he makes every attempt to deny her that catharsis.

5. During Jinx’s dinner party, Silco makes every effort to convince Jinx to murder her own sister, and to turn away from who she truly is.

Jinx tells us (the audience) in season 2 that things are much quieter in her head with Silco gone. In fact we only see him (apparition) twice. When Isha is taken, and when Isha is killed. Now of course Jinx misses him. We see this how she speaks to his chair, smells his coat, and longs for the idea of how things might have been different if Silco had found Vanders letter. But overall without him she is undeniably more at peace.

In the end, i think its fair to say that Silco created Jinx. Yes jinx tells Vi it was her, but at that moment is the same Jinx who tries to make Vi choose to have Caitlyn killed, even knowing Vi’s feelings for the enforcer. And all born out of uncontrollable jealousy and paranoia. It’s important to remember, Jinx is what was left after Powder was, in a way, destroyed. And I’m not trying to get deep on alternate personalities or anything, just keeping it basic:

1. “Powder fell down a well”- She doesn’t consider herself that person

2. “You got the name right”- She once again confirms she IS Jinx

3. Her big moment of acceptance at the end of the show, arriving at the head of the undercity forces and saving the day, is as Jinx. And thats not a bad thing. She is a changed person and the whole point is her forgiving herself, breaking the cycle, and moving forward

So with all of that considered, i say to all you “Silco was such a good daddy” folks, I disagree. He loved her the best way he knew how. He scooped that terrified little girl named Powder into his arms, and warped her until only Jinx remained.

**side note I am NOT judging anyone who loves Silco. I think he is fascinating. Just my observations. Once again to anyone bored enough to read my blathering I appreciate you*

[makemeimmortalwithahug]

I can't stop thinking about dead boy detectives and Emily Dickinson ever since I saw Edwin and Charles' relationship unfold, these two boys whose deaths were covered up and "did not matter," as Edwin put it, and who have kept running from Death together for thirty years and counting; these two boys who would do anything to stay together. And I can't get

"I'm Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too? Then there's a pair of us! Don't tell! They'd advertise - you know!"

out of my mind. Edwin and Charles as EdwinandCharles, together against everything that might separate them, looking into the world of the living from the outside but glad to do it together. They keep to themselves because, as long as they have each other's backs, it's always going to turn out at least okay.

Edwin and Charles cannot picture a world - an afterlife - in which they might lose each other, this bond they share of trust, harmony and loyalty. Emily herself wrote to her love Susan that she (I'm paraphrasing) that she might as well lose any other world, but she wants to continue living in the one in which she's together with her love. It's this utter devotion that we see in Edwin and Charles.

But also imagine Edwin reading Emily Dickinson's poems. I am not entirely sure when her poems might have been available in England, but I know that "I measure every Grief I meet" was first published in 1896.

I imagine him reading this poem during his time in school. He read it only once because this is the most he could bear, too real for him back then. He had suffered even before he went to Hell. He was bullied. His classmates would isolate him and cause him pain - they were the reason he eventually died, after all -, installed fear in him. The environment of the boarding school didn't give him any opportunity of respite, he couldn't get away and I doubt his parents would've been much of a help, if they had cared at all.

So, I imagine him quietly suffering, closing himself off because no-one seemingly cared enough to get to know him. Him barely talking, rather listening and watching what is going on around him, questioning whether everyone felt that way, so hollow and invisible at the same time, as if one wrong look would either go right through him or break him.

I measure every Grief I meet With narrow, probing, Eyes - I wonder if It weighs like Mine - Or has an Easier size. I wonder if They bore it long - Or did it just begin - I could not tell the Date of Mine - It feels so old a pain -

He has always felt this way, an ache he would tell himself he could barely feel anymore. Maybe he wondered as well how other people do it, living with a weight that drags you down and keeps you down, this dry sorrow that no tears flow anymore.

I wonder if it hurts to live - And if They have to try - And whether - could They choose between - It would not be - to die -

The encounter between Despair and Edwin is the reason why I thought of this poem in the first place. There are different kinds of grief, and despair is one of them, maybe that's why she might call upon Edwin someday.

There's Grief of Want - and Grief of Cold - A sort they call "Despair" -

Mostly I wonder what he would've thought, reading the last two lines:

Still fascinated to presume That Some - are like My Own -

Would he have been fascinated or would he have thought how unbelievably tragic this was? What would he think reading this after he met Charles? After he saw Simon again in Hell? Would it make him feel calm to see this written or sad?

No matter what it would be, I think him finding his way out of Hell (twice!) and Charles by his side have shown him that this pain does not define him, that there is always hope. And

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

after all.

quoted:

"I'm Nobody! Who are you?" by Emily Dickinson

"I measure every Grief I meet" by Emily Dickinson

"'Hope' is the thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson

[mindless-mars]

thank you @lilolilyr for tagging me <3

15 Questions for 15 Friends

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

A character in the Bible lol my parents just slightly altered the spelling

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Like half an hour ago when I re-watched Handsome Devil and Andrew Scott's character (Dan) told Nicholas Galitzines character (Conor) that being gay gets easier and Conor asked Dan why he still hides it then and Dan tears up and uaargh Andrew Scott being a tired sad gay just gets me every single time, okay?

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

no

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED

I can copy half of yours here @lilolilyr :D I did Judo, horse riding and handball when I was younger. Also gymnastics as a child and Tai-Do in uni for 2 semesters

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

ye

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

hair and clothes I think. cause you can choose these most of the time and it's how people express themselves

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR?

I just recently learned that you call them hazel I think? when they're green with brown/red/yellow?

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

tragic endings!

ANY TALENTS?

I can say any German word that I know how to spell backwards in seconds

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

at home actually

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

music, concerts, TV series and films, cuddling, sleeping

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

my parents have a cat (Simba my beloved) and soon a cat will move in here (Dipsi, I hope you'll be cuddlier than what your owner said ( don't think that sentence makes sense but my head hurts and I'm tired)

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

162,5cm

FAVOURITE SUBJECT?

English and German and I also liked Pedagogics and Psychology

DREAM JOB?

idk man...I do like teaching but I hate the conditions and the institution behind it...I don't think I really know right now

I tag @panicatthesocialmedia, @ne0n-and-fucking-garbage, @pommy-granite, @myceliumgirl, @thriceandonce, @gabetheunknown , @fenrir-flamekeeper , @amiko-pan , @gamer-shrimp-buoy , @further-than-forever , @sch4r4 , @jupitervega , @berg-gry , @milverton and @vorschlaghannah

and as always, I also tag everyone who reads this and wants to do it :)

(also I tagged many people I have never tagged before so PLEASE don't feel pressured and tell me if you don't want me to tag you in the future <3)

Blank copy for easier copy-pasting under the cut:

15 Questions for 15 Friends

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR?

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

ANY TALENTS?

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

FAVOURITE SUBJECT?

DREAM JOB?

[rocksibblingsau]

"Death is tragic, but sometimes living can be so much worse."

So..... same anon that send the rant ask that this come from and I just have to say how good this is. Like unbelievably so and everything from your response as well, I cant say this enough I love your writing and how you interpret trolls and their world

Honestly, you're so right that they likely had that "hes in a better place now" (pun not intended), it fits so well with what we know about pop trolls mentality and life-style. The same trolls that erased and forgotten everyone that was lost during the escape, including the heir, would also accept a little brother as dead and go on without checking so they can better ignore the grief of losing him. Thinking about it, thats a way better and in-character reason why Floyd never came back

People say that he was out partying or he forgor or whatever, but the thought that some 3-5 years later he stopped to think and realized "oh... hes probably dead by now", and now having to choose between confirming the "reality" that his brother died waiting for him or just moving forward, be happy and never think about things that upset you (that just pop trolls second nature at this point)

There is a part of me that still wants to write Brozone facing that grief either by having to save Floyd without him or reuniting some other way, now with the added against of "everybody including you forgot your brother ever existed, isn't that fun!". Thinking about it, I may even write that Branch died in the woods or something instead of the bergens. He didn't die because they left him in the tree, he died because they never came back for him. And the same mentality that "helped" them "grief" (read: ignore) his supposed dead is the same mentality that caused the pop village to ignore and ostracize him (that being what actually killed him). Tragic, gut-punching, hope they surfer and cry about it :)

But for my actual headcanon of the brothers mentally during those 20 years, I can only imagine your view of the situation is just that good and accurate. Thank you for entertaining my thoughts and sorry for the rambles lol

Thank you! I love overanalyzing things, and Trolls is a very fun subject to work with!

It's very in line with Pop mentality to just accept that and move on. Bruce especially lives on Vacay Island where "every day is a vacay". I could see a bit of that mentality existing there. Maybe not the 'sugar coat everything in glitter' degree but 'why worry?' type of ignore your problems.

Branch dying on his own rather than in the tree I think is a way more terrifying reality. Hundreds of Pop Trolls were eaten, and that's seen as the Bergens fault. Branch getting injured and having no one to check in on him so he passes is on the village. It's been mentioned in Rock Sibblings but the fact is, that was a reality Branch faced. Poppy likely would've come by EVENTUALLY but she was younger than him.

In Rock Sibblings the truth is if not for Poppy deciding to follow after him, no one would have ever known what happened to Branch. In Techno Branch and Classical Branch, no one actually does until 15ish years later.

With his brothers, it's sad to say that with an alive Branch, there's very little that could have them initially realizing that Branch is hurt. I mean look at him in Trolls Band Together. He's not fully grey but he's very drastically darker than they all are despite initially all having the same skin tone. Yet none of them react or mention it. They're fine to ignore the situation at hand.

Never apologize for rambles. That's what we do here.

[mafiasliege]

I dare you to let me go

(this is part 5 of my fic. Enjoy reading!)

Part 4 ↓

AVERY

"It means we can't be together anymore."

The words were ringing in her ears, like they weren't true, like they couldn't be true.

Breaking up meant separating. And separating was simply impossible. It was something that happened to other people, not to them.

It was so poetically tragic, being in the verge of losing the love of her life in font of the very castle they'd won together 5 years ago, the way he'd kissed her like she was everything. Like they were everything.

Except she was nowhere closer to letting him go.

"You don't really mean that. Jameson. We will work this out, however long it takes. I'll be there, I promise."

Jameson threw his hands up in the air and gave the saddest, dryest chuckle ever, "Ah, there we go! Another promise. I wonder how long it'll take for you to break that one."

"I screwed up, I know that. But I need you. I'm not letting you go." Even through her panic, Avery said that fiercely. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. They stayed like that until,

"You need me, Avery. You don't want me."

"I do!" She yelled in exhasperation and threw her hands up in the air. A second tear cascaded down her other cheek.

"Then why do I find myself wondering if you'd choose me if it came down to the foundations and me?"

"I haven't felt wanted because you haven't chosen me. You haven't chosen me in a very long time." A tear feel on his cheek. Then another on his shirt… hold up. They weren't tears.

It was raining, and before they knew it, the sky was filled with big, bulbous storm clouds and they were running to hide under the shelter of the garage.

"How have you come here?" Jameson asked, as if they didn't share heart-breaking revelations minutes ago.

"By-by car. And about that…"

"What?"

"I may not have told your brothers or Oren, who are staying in Edinburgh"

"You came without Oren? He'll kill you!"

"They would've insisted on coming, but I knew it was me you were mad at, so I came alone."

Jameson sighed. He was beyond exhausted at this point, and the thunderstorm was too severe to ask her to leave.

"Give me your keys"

"Huh?"

"Your car keys, I'll park it in the garage."

-------------------------------------------

Vantage had changed in the last few years. It still had the Victorian charm and the countless antique furniture pieces and paintings that probably cost an arm and a leg. Some were added by Jameson, too. He'd travelled and collected a lot of things over the years. Key word: him, not them. He used to charter planes, he hadn't chartered one in a year.

Now she knew it was because he bought one.

Jameson loved Vantage. He paid a great deal of attention to it's upkeep. Five years ago, it felt like a sad piece of property, lifeless. Now, the place felt… happier. Like when you were paid a lot of attention and care to.

Totally unlike Jameson.

"What a storm! Get inside quickly, dear" exclaimed Priscilla, the woman with graying brown hair, pulled up in a bun, as she handed them both towels.

"Thank you, Priscilla," Jameson smiled at her.

Avery looked at both of them, confused.

"Priscilla is the housekeeper of Vantage. She also has mothering syndrome" he smirked at Priscilla. She waved a had at no one in particular and blew a raspberry in the air.

"The mouth on you. You are too deprived of motherly attention, anyway. Now, dinner's getting cold."

Priscilla hurried away, leving Jameson and Avery alone in the foyer as they dried themselves. Avery couldn't take the silence anymore. "So, she's nice."

"She is," Jameson looked into her eyes for a second, and then looked away and blinked several times, add of trying to banish her. Like looking at her too long hurt.

Or like he was scared he'd want to give in again.

They made it to the kitchen while the the storm outside kept raging.

This was going to be awkward.

------------------------------------------------

Priscilla was so sweet, Avery wondered how Jameson didn't have diabetes yet. But she was a great cook too. Except she didn't have time to focus on that.

The call with Oren, with Grayson and Nash chipping in was only piling onto to Avery's already stressed out self. Even still, after Avery convinced them there was security at Vantage, and that they were both fine (physically), Oren reluctantly agreed to come in the morning and Grayson gladly agreed to head back home and look after the foundations for a while.

After dinner, Priscilla went to sleep and having nothing to do, so did her and Jameson.

Avery's room had the most magnificent ceiling, with stellar designs full of stars that seemed to be of gold and silver. It was mesmerizing, you couldn't look away of you tried, and if you did, what you saw was the rest of the navy-colored room with similar stellar designs.

Stars, Avery thought, I got this room for a reason.

"Everything you need is here. Call me if you want anything." Jameson told her.

"I do want something." Avery took a step forward. "You. I want you back."

Jameson groaned, "Avery-"

"Please. I'll do anything."

"I can't, heiress. I told you, when we'd meet. Trust is the last thing that comes to me, if it comes at all, and you broke that trust. Repeatedly. The least you can do right now is give me some time."

Avery wanted him to go now. Go, so she can sink into that pretty pillow and cry an ocean to match the one outside.

"Okay," was all she could manage.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

I am Never Not Thinking about Comic Ambrosius y'all

This mf was clearly so obsessed with Ballister, constantly showing up to "thwart" his plans without ever seeming to take it seriously, seemingly just as an excuse to be around him. He acts like a bratty thirteen-year-old with a crush who never got taught to express it properly.

He seems to live in his own little world, where he and Ballister have this silly little Nemesis relationship that's just a part of a game instead of the deeply fractured and tragic thing that it was. Presumably because it's easier to deal with than the guilt.

In the prison scene, he seems to completely ignore when Ballister basically tells him to shut the fuck up, continuing to reminisce fondly as though they're still friends. I really feel like he lives in his own little reality half the time. Living in a little world where they're playing a game of cops and robbers and they're still close deep down, even if he isn't doing it consciously, is a lot easier than acknowledging his guilt and the pain he caused someone he loved.

I think this is the reason he didn't apologize for so long, and also the reason his memory is so shit even before the head injuries. He legitimately cannot remember exactly what happened at the joust. He wanted so hard to believe it was an accident, to live in a world where it was an accident, that his brain created a false reality and erased the parts of his own memories that contradicted that. He didn't even realize that he hadn't apologized. He is horrified to receive that information. His brain constructed a reality where they had already made up, even though he knew they hadn't. His memories got so jumbled between his imagined and true experiences that he just assumed he must have already apologized, because he was sorry, why wouldn't he have?

I'm not trying to say that he was struggling with psychosis, he knew what was and wasn't real. But his brain dealt with guilt and trauma in very disorienting ways, choosing to ignore or erase truths that hurt him.

I can't imagine what their healing journey must have been like. Imagine trying to un-fuck the thing you fucked up the most in your entire life while also learning how to exist without the ability to walk unassisted, and possibly also recovering from brain damage, dysmorphia from your face getting shredded, and a myriad of other injuries. I cannot imagine the self-worth of someone who is being cared for by the person they love the most, who they irreparably hurt, while also feeling like a burden because they are newly disabled and can't yet take care of themselves.

Also it makes me sad when people talk like Blackheart would hate/be cruel to him post-comic like he wasn't willing to die/kill his friend to save him. He'd give him a ton of shit all the time probably but he'd also protect him like a wolfhound change my mind okay I'm done thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[nothing-to-see-around-here]

Okey- Here i am once again with the angst of sad Philza cus unrequited pining :'D

I had another scene popped up in my mind cus apparently I love romances in tragic settings like being doomed from the start:

So, do y'all remember the clip/moment when Techno said to Philza "For you the world"???

It wasn't romantic or even platonic, it was just in between their little banter about literal bookshelfs while they were exploring a village lmao

But, can you imagine how Philza felt when he heard that?

Like- imagine that the person you were pining after for literal decades suddenly blurts out that they would give you the world casually while looking at you with so much fondness as if you were the most precious thing to them, but also knowing that you are not- Because you know (of course you know) that you are not.

Let me just put down the scene cus I felt like writing:

"Sorry, matee, I really needed those bookshelfs" Philza says with an embarrassed laugh, scratching the back of his neck as he talks to Techno while trading with one of the villagers.

Technoblade looks over at Philza, laughing as he exits a house of the village. "It's okey, Phil- y'know what? Whatever, Phil, For you the world." He says jokingly as he puts a hand on Philza's right shoulder while smiling at him fondly.

Philza freezes, how is he supposed to answer when Techno just said that to him so... lovingly? He can't help but blush, holy shit- Did Techno really said that to him??? Is- Did he heard that right??

So he ends up faking a laugh, holding back his emotions, Technoblade quickly distracts himself and changes the subject of their talk. But Philza can't bring himself to forget what Techno said nor the way he looked at him while saying it.

Those damn four words would keep him up at night more often than not and are also one of the many reasons that Philza still doesn't leave Techno and chooses to stay with him. Because he knows that Technoblade cares for him, deeply, just that the care is only from friendship... So he would be lying if he said that hearing those words from Techno didn't gave him the slightest bits of hope...

--

(I am writing this while next to my bf and he told me "hurt👏 that👏 bird👏" so- uh- I blame him lmao)

I'm glad people are liking what I'm doing with these, I hope I did well again!

Thank you for the people who followed me and also the ones who rebloged my post as well ^^

Also, I'll do the one shot of this but for now I want to know which way I'm going with it first.

[cryptidclaw]

FINALLY someone who sees Squirrelflight the same way I do, not as the saint the fandom makes her out to be, but a character whose in the wrong and needs to get her shit together. I'm sorry but she and Brambleclaw have issues sure, but Bramble isn't just the one in the wrong. The fandom treats him like he's the devil (they treat Ashfur the same way, when I personally think his arc was interesting taking into account he found his mother as dog bait when he was a child and was basically left parentless, he and ferncloud took it very differently, fern going and becoming a mother to everyone and Ash trying to find love somewhere else and then getting rejected. Did he take it too far yeah, he did ofc but it's interesting to look at the psychology behind it) this fandom treats Squirrel and Leaf like their saints and can do no wrong but from where I see it. . .they cause plenty of the problems. Like why didn't they tell bramble about the three? How hard would that have been to tell squirrels mate, someone she trusts, what's going on?

since we talking about the morality/ goodness of Squirrelflight and Leafpool (and Brambleclaw and Ashfur) now I thought I would group these together and just ramble about Squirrel and Leafpool for a bit

I personally think that Squirrelflight and Leafpool are good people who had to make hard decisions that would inevitably hurt people in the hopes of protecting each other and their loved ones.

These two live in basically a cult and had to do some crazy shit to protect Leaf and her kits, and I don't blame them for what they chose to do in the situation they were put in. Were there ways that could have possibly been better? Ya probably, but they aren't evil for choosing to do what they did.

Also Squilf hurt the 3 by not telling them they were adopted, but also I feel like that's where her crimes end. Like Brambleclaw has been shown to be an abusive prick so I wouldn't blame Squirrel for not wanting to tell him the truth, especially when he's Thunderclan's deputy. I have a hard time believing he would have gone along with their plan, and he probably would have done something cruel and stupid if they told him. Yes him finding out did hurt him so I guess that's a crime in a way, but i really dont think Squirrel had any other options in that department.

I think out of Squirrel and Leaf, leaf is much more in the wrong here (love her and her bad decisions tho hehe). She had like some of the most illegal babies ever due to some really bad decisions (even if its unfair that her relationship was illegal) and then she let her sister take on most of the responsibility of dealing with her mistakes. Squirrelflight could have had a chill scandal-less life, but instead she took in her sister's kits and lied to the clan and her mate all to protect Leaf, when it wasn't even her problem and Leaf didn't stop her. Leaf didn't take on much responsibility for her mistakes, she just let Squif do that. I understand why but still if there's anyone to be mad it its Leaf and her bad decision making skills lol

I really love how complex their situation is, its probably one of the most interesting things that has happened in warriors. Its complicated, and the characters involved are good people who made bad decisions, and hard decisions. They wanted to protect the people they loved and it inevitably failed. I love a good tragic drama.

these two sisters are some sad soggy meow meows

I could go on even longer but I wont, could prob expand on Leafpool opinions too but i shall stop here.

[basingstokemercury]

The Magnificent Adah really is one of the episodes ever.

Oh yay! It's Younger Brother Hijinks - wait Adam is doing hijinks too? This is heaven - okay. that took a serious turn.

("They never kill off the hero"... Adam, you're the educated one. I'm sure you've read Shakespeare. I guess he's referring to his experience of the less-highbrow fare on offer in Virginia City?)

So I guess now the episode is an honestly terrifying depiction of stalking and Ben isn't telling the boys what's going on so they jump to conclusions and make things worse? Abrupt transition from farce to tragedy, here we come!

I'm still not sure what to make of Adam's attempt at confrontation. "Please don't date my father because I find you attractive myself"? He's supposed to be a man of honour, someone who can put others' happiness before his own impulses. Maybe this scene makes more sense to others, but it feels rather OOC to me.

JOE NO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO

"Adam, now, he's the dependable one. He's a worrier." So you do get him sometimes!

And we show just how ruthless our violent stalker antagonist is by having him half-kill a teenager for messing with "his" woman/because his father is dating her. As if things weren't dark enough already.

Not that I'm complaining though! Everyone is so upset and worried and they actually let him be scared and in pain and crying for his father, really good emotional decisions here!

"Pa?😢" (heart breaks) (but in a "this is good angst" way)

YES! VENGEANCE! DRAMATIC SHOWDOWN TIME!

Adam restraining Ben because he realises Hoss is better equipped to handle this... Such an interesting choice, I love how protective Adam is of his father but also it's another weight on his shoulders and nobody should have to be that strong...

But oh no! Even Hoss can't handle it because Antagonist has superior technique! Good thing Adam has proficiency at Insight checks and figures out his weakness!

So we get a happy ending, right?

Oh. No. That happened.

I won't say it quite comes out of left field because we've seen that Adah, while she knows this guy is dangerous and abusive, does remember good times and feel conflicted about him. Which, while tragic, is, I think, sadly often the case for people trying to leave relationships like that.

It's just a shame the story ends with her unable to break away. I won't say it's bad storytelling, everything makes reasonable sense logically and that gut punch is an interesting departure from the classic "and they deal with him and he never bothers her again and she's free to live as she chooses" windup for a plot like that.

It does make me sad, though.

I guess a question is whether she knows what was done to Joe or just sees the fight and assumes things escalated for other reasons? Because "I know this guy's awful but I don't want him hurt" isn't quite on the same level as "I know this guy nearly caused permanent injury to someone I see as little more than a child, but I'm going to take his side and comfort him".

[tempoaryblogformightyjensblog]

This episode pretty much solidified my thoughts on Belos

He is pure evil. He is a megalomaniac sadist who simply desires to hurt others, gain power and recognition. But he's not pure evil because he inherently lacks those qualities or was evil sense birth. Like characters such as Michael Myers or Henry Creel. Rather he is pure evil because he actively rejects any good qualities from himself.

Some were comparing him to Envy from FMA. And expected him to have a sad, tragic death even with how much of a monster he was.

The better comparison has always been Father from that series.

Both of them have simular plans at points. The 'day of unity' is clearly a nod to the promised day from FMA. And both of them end up becoming god-like beings by absorbing the settings equivalent to God. On that note both of them appear to give a righteous or 'holy' aura. Belos goes for the 'savior'/'prophet' image(And people have pointed out the way he looks like he's in a crucified pose in the finale) in Father's case his main form looks like the typical 'Bearded man in light' interpretation of God. In both of their cases, they are truthfully symbolic representations of the devil. With numerous parralels to Satan; making these visuals they take ironic. And both lose any dignity by the end and cowardly plead for mercy they gave no one else. While saying things to dodge responsibility for their actions.

Father once had some semblance of good qualities. He did care for Hoenheim at some point. Hence why he gave him an immortal body of his own. And as Hoenheim says, the reason he makes the other Homunculi call him 'Father' is because he secretly wants human connection and a family.

He simply rejected these qualities or threw them away. Out of his own selfishness. . He wanted to do away with any of those human qualities because he was 'above' them. He is still a very interesting character for this, and one could maybe still view him as tragic to a slight extent.

Philip is like this, he has human qualities or desires. He did love his brother and deep...deep down feels guilt over his death. He just rejects that fact, and ultimately his love for his brother. When he sees his ghost(literal or not) he makes it clear he blames him for everything and tries to kill him again. His upbringing did set him down the path of evil...but he spent centuries surrounded by chances to change his worldview. He refused, manipulating and killing those he tricked into trusting him instead.

He chooses to hurt and kill people because he steadily grew to enjoy doing those things. Threw away any of those sympathetic qualities and now only cares for living out his hero fantasy while gaining control over everything .

The overall point is that a pure evil villain, a complete monster does not have to be a flat character. They can be complex and interesting, Philip and Father certainly are. In cases like these it's a case where it's interesting how they actively choose to snuff out anything good in them. And the psychology behind that decision. They add to what makes them fascinating if anything.

[morelikeravenbore]

How to Make a Villain - Sebastian Sallow x FMC

✨ Ao3 | Wattpad ✨

A comprehensive guide on how to turn the good guys bad.

Seventh year mostly soft!seb but he's got the ✨trauma✨ | slooooow burn | idiots in love | mutual pining | hurt comfort | villain arc | that one trope where the fmc has to either embrace her special magical ability or be destroyed by it but I don't know what it's called specifically.

18+ No smut (tbh there probably will be segs eventually but it'll be geared more toward the emotional end of the scale rather than the explicit), lots of fluff, lots of angst. TW: Mentions of parental loss, family trauma, implied murder, sexual references and mild violence.

A Hogwarts Legacy fic that explores how grief & trauma can fundamentally change the course of a person's entire life.

THE BLURB:

Aurélie Collins wishes she were invisible. Unfortunately, despite her best efforts to be normal, there are a great many unusual things about her. She's the only transfer student Hogwarts has seen in recent memory, she has an absolutely abysmal sense of direction, and - though she desperately wishes she couldn't - she can wield an ancient and highly unstable form of rare magic.

When a tragic event rips her from her life of opulence at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, Aurelie is unceremoniously thrust into the freezing cold Scottish highlands to finish her final year at Hogwarts, where the castle's floor plan is impossible to navigate, obsession with blood status runs prevalent among the student body, and it's freezing bloody cold - all the time.

Worse still, she finds herself unable to escape the unwavering attention of Sebastian Sallow. Tall, handsome and infuriating, the Slytherin Quidditch captain is convinced he's the greatest thing to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts, is best friends with a Gaunt, and, to Aurélie's endless irritation, does not want to let her out of his sight. Ever.

Read chapter one under the cut.

If Aurélie Collins had to choose one word to best describe herself, she supposed it would be - to put it as delicately as she could - completely and utterly overwhelmed. Granted, that was four words, not one, but as she trudged down yet another unfamiliar corridor, she was just relieved she could string together a coherent sentence at all. After the last few months of hell she'd endured, Aurélie wasn't her usual eloquent self, to say the least.

She hadn't always been that way - overwhelmed, that is. In fact, if asked only a few months ago to describe herself, she would've said she was dutiful, quick-witted, and, if not brave, then definitely unafraid of facing challenges head-on. She'd been a confident girl once; she got good grades, always did as she was asked and never stepped a toe out of line, and everyone - from her parents and teachers to her friends and peers - knew that Aurélie Collins would go on to achieve whatever she set her mind to.

Now, though? Well, nowadays she was too exhausted to set her mind on anything. Since she'd been forced to start a new school in a new country - in the seventh and final year of her magical education at that - Aurélie felt that the only substantial thing about her was the crushing sadness that pervaded her every waking thought, as if every other part of her had been utterly annihilated by grief. Not that she allowed herself to feel any of that grief if she could help it - but it was always there, pervasive and relentless, weighing her down like a heavy wet blanket as she tried to swim through the rapidly changing currents of her new life.

Breathe, Aurélie, she told herself as she trekked ever deeper into the immense stone castle that was her new school. You've handled worse than this.

But this was a lie; she hadn't handled anything worse than this. The truth was that she was adrift in a perpetual ocean of grief that constantly threatened to consume her. She had no anchor, nothing to tether her to anything solid.

And this new school of hers certainly wasn't doing anything to improve her situation.

Bloody Hogwarts.

Of all places she'd ever imagined herself living, the freezing cold Scottish highlands was absolutely not one of them. But, then again, she wouldn't have believed that she'd be an orphan at seventeen either, yet here she was.

Hogwarts was famous, of course. Heralded as the pinnacle of magical education and the top school in the wizarding world, most witches and wizards were honoured to attend such a prestigious establishment. But Aurélie Collins was of the opinion that every bloody thing at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was confusing, unnecessary, or just downright nonsensical. From the ever-changing floorplan to the myriad of talking portraits - all of whom gave wildly conflicting directions to her classes depending on which ones she asked - nothing about Hogwarts made any sense.

Aurélie was almost in tears by the time she reached another dead end. It was simply impossible to find one's way around a school like this; there were too many floors to navigate, too many disused classrooms and far too many staircases that led to absolutely nowhere. Not to mention, beyond its confusing floorplan and unbearably draughty rooms, the ancient hulking castle was rather ugly - by Aurélie's standards at least. The monolithic Gothic castle was so far removed from the elegance and charm of Beauxbatons that it seemed almost cruel that she should be forced to endure it at all. She could almost hear her best friend Céleste's reaction if she were with her now. 'Ugh, it's so awfully medieval,' she would say. 'Stone Gargoyles? And all those uncouth English boys? I don't know which I find more barbaric!'

She almost smiled at the thought. But only almost - for thinking of her best friend only made her sad.

Aurélie shook herself mentally, shifting the heavy weight of her books from one arm to the other. She did not like thinking about her old life, least of all on her first day of school while she was lost in the labyrinth of never-ending corridors and endless classrooms. She had the distinct and slightly alarming sense that she was headed in completely the wrong direction as she tried to find her first class of the day, but, having never set foot in Hogwarts until the night before, found herself without any point of reference with which to correct her course.

'Which Merlin-forsaken floor is this, anyway?' she muttered to herself in French as a group of first years skittered around her, giggling obnoxiously as they hurried down the long corridor. They were wearing the green and silver colours of Slytherin house. She knew of Slytherin house only because her father had attended Hogwarts in his youth; though he'd been a Hufflepuff - a badger, not a snake.

Aurélie's heart gave an awful lurch at the thought of her father. Oh, her wonderful father: patient and good-humoured and endlessly curious and -

Dead. He's dead, Aurélie. Stop thinking about him.

She swallowed down the hard lump in her throat and trudged on determinedly, descending what felt like the hundredth set of stairs she'd already followed that morning. She could feel disappointment and embarrassment roiling in the pit of her stomach; she wasn't used to failing at anything let alone something as simple as getting to class on time. Even the bloody first years knew where they were going, for crying out loud, and they'd been here for just as short a time as she had.

When at last she found herself facing yet another dead end, she finally conceded defeat. Trying very hard not to cry, she adjusted her unflattering black robes (oh, to be dressed in fine blue silk again) and began to seriously consider how much trouble she'd be in if she just went back to bed. Or, more tempting still, how badly she'd be punished if she fled back to France and never returned to Hogwarts again, graduation be damned.

But no, she couldn't leave Hogwarts; it was the safest place for her since her parents had died, and Professor Weasley, the deputy headmistress, had evoked the power of Merlin himself to secure her a place here at such short notice. Apparently, it had not been an easy feat convincing Headmaster Black to take on a student with her reputation.

Aurélie sighed and squeezed her eyes closed. 'It's just for one year,' she muttered under her breath, repeating the phrase that had become her mantra. 'Just one year, that's all.'

'Unless you're trying to break into the Slytherin common room,' said an unexpected voice behind her, 'I'm going to assume you're lost.'

Aurélie whirled around so fast she whipped herself in the face with her long auburn braid. She hadn't always been a jumpy sort of person, but losing both parents at the same time had a way of making one rather fearful of unexpected voices in unfamiliar corridors.

The boy who stood before her had his wand held aloft; its tip glowed brightly red in front of his face, casting an ominous-looking hue over his pale skin. Aurélie's mind immediately conjured visions of dark shadows and searing red pain, and for one dreadful moment, she thought he was about to curse her. Her palms tingled; a telltale sign that the forbidden magic that flowed through her veins was still very much alive - and very much wanted to be used.

She took an automatic step backwards, clenching her fists tight. Thankfully, the boy made no move to attack; instead, he simply stared at her. No, that wasn't right, he wasn't staring at her - he was staring through her. It was then that Aurélie noticed his eyes; milky white and translucent, they gleamed like ghostly orbs in his angular face.

The boy was blind.

'Sorry,' Aurélie said, a little breathlessly. 'I'm trying to get to my Defence Against the Dark Arts class, but I'm afraid I have no idea where I am.'

The boy laughed, and though the sound was pleasant enough, it was undoubtedly more incredulous than amused. 'Oh my, you are lost, aren't you?'

A small badge engraved with the words Head Boy was pinned to the breast pocket of his immaculate robes. Even bathed under the red glow of his wand light, she could clearly make out the tiny snake etched onto its gleaming surface. Another Slytherin. She'd known very little about the four Hogwarts houses before coming here, but when the sorting hat had asked her if she had a preference, all she could think was that she didn't want to be part of a house whose emblem was a snake.

When Aurélie did not reply, the boy heaved an impatient sigh.

'You're the new Ravenclaw,' he said matter-of-factly. 'I must say, I didn't expect to find you all the way down here.'

The boy had a rather aristocratic air about him - haughty and vaguely displeased as all aristocratic types were loath to be, with silvery hair slicked back from his face, high cheekbones, and a sharp jawline that screamed of fine magical breeding. Aurélie wondered vaguely which noble family he was from, for she certainly knew a wealthy pureblood when she saw one; half of Beauxbatons was full of old ennobled wizarding families.

As she opened her mouth to ask him how he knew who she was - being blind and all - he spoke again.

'I recognise your accent,' he explained as if he'd read her thoughts. 'There aren't any other French students at Hogwarts.' His sharp, clipped voice was a stark contrast to his delicate features, and yet, there was something strangely ominous about it that stirred something inside her. Something familiar. Something... unpleasant.

'Half French,' she corrected him, pushing the thought away. 'My father was English, mother was French. But - er, yes, I suppose I do sound different to everyone else.'

Having been duo lingual all her life, Aurélie spoke both English and French perfectly - but apparently, her French accent wasn't as undetectable as she'd hoped. She smoothed her clammy hands down the front of her awfully drab robes, acutely aware of how the boy's unseeing eyes seemed to be looking right at her with surprising intensity.

'Yes, well,' he drawled in a tone that suggested that he didn't particularly care about the finer details of her heritage. 'You're absolutely nowhere near the Defence floor. In fact, you're almost in the dungeons. Frankly, I'm baffled you managed to make it here from the Great Hall all by yourself. Why weren't you following your classmates?'

'Oh. I wasn't in the Great Hall. I came straight from my common room.'

Not entirely trusting that anything she ate would stay down for long, she'd opted to skip breakfast in the hall with the other students that morning and head straight to class instead. Though the few Ravenclaw's she'd met so far had seemed friendly enough, their interest in the new foreign transfer student made her uncomfortable. One particularly brazen Ravenclaw boy - whose name she couldn't remember - had ogled her like she were some sort of exotic beast and told her that Hogwarts never got transfer students - not ever. 'If I'd been made to be sorted in front of the entire school as a seventh year,' he had said, 'I would have died of humiliation.'

Inwardly, Aurélie had agreed with him, for she certainly didn't count the sorting ceremony as one of her favourite life experiences. Outwardly though, she had only smiled politely and told him it hadn't been so bad before excusing herself to a quiet corner of the common room to sit alone.

She had no intention of making any friends during her single year at Hogwarts. In fact, she'd made a promise to herself that she wouldn't. After all, she was planning on heading straight back to France the moment she graduated, and the thought of saying goodbye to any more people she cared about was an ordeal she wasn't sure she could handle. But beyond that, she also feared that should anyone find out why she'd transferred in the first place, their interest in her would only intensify.

As a seventeen-year-old witch who hadn't achieved anything particularly extraordinary, Aurélie didn't think herself interesting by any stretch. But unfortunately, having your family murdered by dark wizards certainly was - and that was not something she wanted to be known for. Better to be invisible than be a source of gossip and speculation.

The boy tilted his head, his translucent pupils a little unnerving under the red glow of his wand. An inexplicable shiver of fear skittered down the back of Aurélie's arms and settled in the pit of her stomach.

'So you're telling me you managed to get yourself from the Ravenclaw common room - one of the highest points in the castle - to the very lowest depths of the dungeons, and you didn't at any point stop to think that perhaps you were headed in the wrong direction?' he said. 'Nor did you think it prudent to eat something before you start studying for your N.E.W.T.s, the most important and difficult exam in a witches educational career?' He shook his head in exasperation. 'And here I was thinking Ravenclaw's were supposed to be intelligent.'

Aurélie didn't know how to react to this outburst but rather thought she'd been right to not want to be in the snake house. When she made no reply, the boy heaved another heavy sigh, clearly annoyed.

'Very well. As Head Boy, I suppose it is my duty to help you - even though you ought to be old enough by now to look after yourself. Come along, then.'

With a small shake of his head and a mild sneer, the boy turned on his heel and strode purposefully down the empty corridor. Despite her chagrin, Aurélie couldn't help but marvel at the way his wand seemed to act as a proxy for his sight; pulsing like a heartbeat, it lead him effortlessly through the maze of corridors that even she - with her perfect vision - couldn't seem to navigate. She hurried after him, silently chastising herself for being so useless that she had to be led to class by a blind boy.

'Ominis Gaunt, by the way,' he said once she'd caught up to him; he was rather a fast walker for someone who couldn't see where they were going.

'Oh, er - hello, I'm Aurélie -'

'Collins - yes, I know who you are. Now, do pay attention, won't you? Defence Against the Dark Arts class is on the third floor, not in the dungeons. Even I can tell this isn't the third floor, and I'm blind.'

Aurélie flushed. Perhaps the sorting hat had made a mistake putting her into a house whose members were valued for being clever.

'So... you're Head Boy?' she asked timidly.

'That is what I said, isn't it?' came his sharp reply. 'And I'll have you know that I've quite enough to be getting on with today without needing to rescue stray Ravenclaws from the dungeons.'

'I didn't need rescuing,' she muttered under her breath. Ominis only ignored her, and after a very tense silence and several staircases later, they came to a stop outside the correct classroom on the third floor.

'Do try not to get yourself so embarrassingly lost again, won't you?' he said tersely. 'I don't have time to babysit seventh years, I've enough first-year drama to deal with as it is.'

And with that, he was away again, muttering darkly about Ravenclaw's and incompetence as he went, leaving Aurélie standing dumbfounded in his wake.

[rainbowxocs]

"...You want to know what I think?" The kindness and politeness dissipates from his voice entirely, and his eyes focus onto him.

"I think your a fucking coward. Out of everyone you pick to be god, it's a child? C'mon man, I see right past you. You picked her because she was EASY. You could've picked one of the great artistic minds of this generation, but you pick a fucking kid? Creepy as hell, honestly. You only picked her because you saw an easy person to groom."

"Personally? I know you say your storoooong and all that. And yeah, since I'm a regular dude, you could TOTALLY Rip my head off right now. But ya'know? You must not be that strong, or even that intelligent, to have to choose a child as your first pickings. I bet deep down there, is a coward."

"Just... THINK ABOUT THAT for a second. You found a starving, lonely, and cold child on the ground. You were her everything. You were supposed to be the one you could TRUST. and you stomped it right on the ground, taking every bit of her heart into pieces. for what? Godhood? power? whatever the hell you have for a petty excuse?"

"No, the truth is- your just a sad manchild who feels insecure about himself, so he has to take it out on a little girl because you know shes too scared of you to hit back. Because it makes you feel like a big, macho man." He got up into the Cultivators face, grabbing him by the tie.

"But, ya'know? I'm not scared of you. Not because I'm immortal or anything, but because the only thing you have is fear. And when the only thing a person has is fear, that means they are the biggest cowards of them all."

"So, Cultiloser, whats your tragic excuse? Mommy and daddy didn't love you enough? Got bullied in school? Really, give me ONE GOOD REASON you took advantage of a small, starving, and innocent child who was my FRIEND and made her suffer like this."

"The most you could do is AKNOWLEDGE her emotions matter, that she could use an actual HUG from somebody. Or a god, I don't know, "I love you, Daisy? I understand what I put you through was a lot." But NOPE! instead, Edgelord right here wants to play "Oooh, I am the cultivator, take this stupid apple I have in my hands and I'll make you a god."

"Have you've ever even been hugged before? Have you've ever even given or felt any form of love? Becasue from what it acts like, you must be one hell of a sad and lonely person. No normal, well-emotionally rounded person could sit down and do this to a child. I don't know who the hell hurt you, but it does NOT give you an excuse to spread that pain onto others. "Let alone a Child. I can't get this into your head enough- she was TEN. and she still HAS the mind of a kid. Did you see her playground? Her toys? Everything about her is freaking child-coded, man. Age regression is a real. thing. look it up on google." "God, I don't even know what to say to you... you just- I..."

"..." "Honestly... Ya'know what you deserve?" He lets go of the Mushroom's tie... But not before giving him a firm SLAP across the face.

"You deserve to burn in hell!"

With that, he stormed out of the room, seemingly completely seeing red. Seemingly not even fully realizing what he just did.

Valem holds his cheek, in complete shock, he stands there for a few seconds, not being able to move. I can’t believed this.

A human.. a mortal.. They just.. Valem began to shake, not in fear but in anger. Complete and utter rage. He shifted into his true form on impulse and began to chase after the human, teleporting to the house and teleporting behind Alex.

I- don’t know WHO you think you are- But you obviously HAVE NO IDEA. The forces you are messing with-