#like he's tragic it's sad but like !! he's still CHOOSING to do things that hurt people

[writterings]

(Please) Tell me about the novel of the two dudes who are incels, I'm really curious

hehe thank you for being curious!

basically my master's thesis is a novel about incel culture (as well as some other internet phenomena but I don't want to give away too much info about this since I do want to try to get this published -- i.e. im just over protective of my ideas lol) and how this older guy in his 20s basically grooms this ostracized and abused teen boy into incel culture -- kinda like how it happens in real life a lot of the time. and the teen boy has a crush on a femme-presenting nonbinary person in his class who he's trying to get to know better but, like, is still being groomed into into a bigoted and harmful ideology that's often against anything queer. so the novel is overall about how this teen character navigates the world while hearing one side of the general social/culture argument while also being groomed into another side.

there's also a lot more that's going to happen in this, especially in terms of some other characters who i haven't mentioned, but that's the general gist of it!

[amethystina]

Hello ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

I hope you’re doing better, both physically and mentally. I know you’ve been through a lot recently, and I truly hope you’re finding moments of peace and comfort in this difficult time.

I wanted to reach out because I usually connect with your thoughts on The Devil Judge, and I’m curious to see if we align on this perspective as well. I've noticed that many in the fandom view Yohan as being kinder and more selfless than he seems, believing he truly cares about people and their struggles. But from my perspective, it feels different. I think Yohan recognizes others' pains, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he empathizes deeply with them or feels much sympathy.

What do you think?

it’s always a pleasure to hear your thoughts.

May the rest of your day be filled with moments of calm and joy.

Hi there 💜

Unfortunately, I'm not doing the greatest but, well, that's sort of the norm right now? It could be worse, in all honesty. Me and my wife have some friends visiting from our university days, though, which is lovely! But that also means I'm going to be even more absent from here this coming week. Just a head's up.

Anyhow! Since I don't really read fics or metas for The Devil Judge I admit that I don't know what the consensus of the fandom is on any given subject. Except, perhaps, what I can glimpse in comments on my fics or in the asks I receive here on Tumblr. This means that whatever opinions I express are usually my own without influence from anyone else, which makes them very subjective, pretty limited, and, perhaps, not as well-rounded as if I had spent time discussing them with someone else. And I just want everyone to remember that whenever I answer one of these asks.

These are my opinions but I'm not going to claim that I'm right or that my thoughts are the only valid ones. They might, in fact, be spectacularly wrong since I never run them by anyone before I express them.

So, with that out of the way: Yo Han is not a kind man.

That's not to say that he's incapable of compassion or empathy, but his ability to relate to other people is, at the very least, severely stunted. I know that some think that he must have an antisocial personality disorder but, personally, I'm not comfortable diagnosing him with anything. I'm just not qualified to make that kind of assessment.

But what I can say is that he's definitely not a very considerate man.

But, as with all things Yo Han, the subject is a little more complex than that — and stems back to his childhood and past trauma.

To make a long story short, I think that Yo Han is emotionally mature and intelligent enough to recognise right from wrong. I also agree with you that he can see when people are in pain and, in some ways, probably relate to them. But what he actually does with that information depends entirely on who the person is and what scale we're talking about.

Because, as we see in the drama, Yo Han doesn't really care what happens to the people outside of his small, chosen circle. He was clearly shaken when Han So Yoon was kidnapped and K died, for example, but the unidentifiable mass of "the Korean people" doesn't interest him as much. Yo Han is incredibly loyal, yes, and capable of a fierce, all-consuming kind of love, but it's reserved for a selected few.

As for everyone else?

Not his problem.

And while that's pretty uncaring — ruthless, even — I think it's in part because of his childhood. He was so isolated that he can't really relate to people, only made worse by the fact that his mind probably doesn't work like most people's do. So even if he deeply loves someone, his empathy is still a bit patchy. He's used to pushing through pain and heartache and doesn't quite seem to understand that other people aren't — or at least not to the extent that he does it. Yo Han is a master at compartmentalising but doesn't understand that he's an outlier in that.

And so his ability to relate to people and understand their pain is severely limited. Because he's not working with the same variables as everyone else. Something that will barely faze him is enough to completely break someone else and despite being so clever, I don't think he understands that.

And it's even worse when you look at it on a wider scale. He's even less sympathetic when it's people he doesn't know personally and, quite frankly, I don't think he wants to care about nameless strangers. Yo Han protects and sympathises with the people closest to him — the ones he can see and touch and feel — but he doesn't waste emotional or mental bandwidth on everyone else. In some ways, he might not be capable of that. Because, again, the isolation he was put through as a child probably left quite a lot of scars and made him unable to connect with people in a healthy way.

He's not like Ga On, who genuinely cares about the fate of the common man and their country as a whole. I think that Yo Han sees the suffering and clearly doesn't mind doing a kind act here and there when he gets the opportunity — like donating the prison warden's money — but I still wouldn't call him a kind or a considerate man. He can be but also chooses not to be more often than not.

It doesn't come instinctively to him the way it does for Ga On.

Again, that's not to say that Yo Han doesn't know how to be kind — of course he does — but I don't think he views it the same way most people do. It's almost as if he thinks that kindness is a finite resource and therefore hesitates to waste it on people he doesn't care about on a personal level.

So no, I don't think he genuinely cares about other people's struggles and pain to the degree most people do. But it's not necessarily because he's evil or anything like that, but rather because he's so guarded. I've touched on it a couple of times in Who Holds the Devil, but I think that Yo Han is very cautious to reveal what he wants or admit when he cares about someone, simply because he's afraid of having it taken away or losing the person in question.

And if he were to care about every suffering citizen in South Korea the way Ga On does? I don't think Yo Han could handle that. I think he's shielding himself from that kind of commitment out of sheer self-preservation because every time he cares about someone, he leaves himself vulnerable for heartbreak. And he's not really equipped to deal with that heartbreak should it happen (again: emotionally stunted and childhood trauma)

In some ways, I think Yo Han is too scared to fully care about other people and, even when he does, he's always bracing himself for what he thinks is the inevitable pain of losing them.

But he does want to connect with people. Which means that he can probably learn to be more considerate of people he doesn't love on a personal level, but, again, I'm not sure if he wants to. At least not during the drama or even shortly after it. I think Yo Han is perfectly fine with being the way he is. He doesn't want to be a hero and has no interest in philanthropy — aside from how it might boost his reputation or, alternatively, punish those he thinks are behaving badly (like the prison warden).

But a couple of years down the line if he and Ga On are a couple? I think that Ga On could wear him down enough that Yo Han regularly donates to good causes and such. But Yo Han would do it more because he wants to indulge Ga On than out of any feeling of responsibility of his own. Because, when it comes down to it, I think Yo Han doesn't have any love and devotion to spare for the people outside his immediate circle. Taking care of them is difficult enough what with his upbringing and struggles to understand relationships.

Just like Yo Han says in the drama: I don't care if humanity falls as long as I have you two.

That's what he cares about most and even if he's capable of kindness and compassion, he saves it for the people he thinks matter. But even then I don't think he can empathise as deeply as most people would. Because he just doesn't understand that not everyone has his ability to compartmentalise and briskly deal with their emotions and trauma. I suspect that he thinks that Ga On is a bit too emotional a lot of the time. And even if Yo Han loves Ga On with every fibre of his being, he also thinks that Ga On's inability to control his emotions is both impractical and annoying — maybe even silly. Because Yo Han just doesn't get it.

He can't put himself in Ga On's shoes or understand that some people are just more emotional and need more frequent outlets for said emotions.

So yeah. I don't think that Yo Han is a particularly compassionate or considerate person, and he struggles to fully understand the people he loves, too. It's easier for him to be kind to them, at least, but he can't really empathise with them, either. But I would argue that it's not really his fault so much as a result of his childhood, all the trauma, and how he is a person. And it doesn't mean he's incapable of love or taking care of people — he's just very selective and, sometimes, he'll stumble because he doesn't understand what the fuck is going on x'D

In short: He's a disaster, your honour.

[wordslikesilver]

I swear I’m almost done being mentally ill about Elden Ring I promise but I never see anyone talk about Morgott’s heart wrenching death scene. It’s never overtly pointed out but please imagine the progression of events from his perspective. Lying on his back, staring up at the sky, defeated. He’s one of the ONLY bosses that leaves behind a corpse and it’s heart wrenching okay, it’s OBLITERATING. Because he’s lying there withered and broken, staring up at the golden boughs of the one thing in the world he loved, not the golden order, not the greater will, he loved the Erdtree and dedicated his ENTIRE life to it even though it never loved him back because not even a man as scorned as Morgott could live without love and the love was to keep his heart still beating in his chest when he felt most like a monster. He has spent his entire life keeping this crumbling kingdom together. For his mother, who hid him away so the world wouldn’t hurt him, for his father, the man who taught him how to bear the weight of a crown and stand taller than the ignoble origins you come from. And he was so alone. The only constant in his life being that golden tree that shone down into the sewers. He is the last of all kings. The horns about his brow weighed heavier than his crown.

And then the tree was burning. Lying broken on the ground, unable to truly die, his curse expelled from his body, he could only look up and watch the only thing he loved with all his heart burn down around him. The ashes falling like snow on his face. Can you imagine the heat? The resignation? The misery and the promise that if there’s ever a next time, he’ll do better, and if there isn’t then this shall be his final legacy and he’ll just have to accept that final truth before he dies. The self hatred washing over him and passing into quiet peace as he chooses to pass away together with it. Omens do not get reincarnated by the Erdtree. Loved and blessed by the crucible of life, they are not loved the same as all the rest of us. But that’s okay. For Morgott, that was okay. He would live nobly and die with honour in its service and that would be enough. He’d spend the last moments of his life bathed in the warm ashes of orange and grey, content that even if he never felt loved by anyone at all after being cursed and shunned all his life, he did his duty as best he could and finally repaid the debt he felt towards the tree that showed him the light for so many long, lonely years.

And then, then it makes me so fucking miserable because then a pair of gentle, scarred and terribly rough hands lift him up from the ground and cradle him with all the tenderness in the world. The roar of a lion salutes his passing, honouring him, mourning him. “It’s been a long time, Morgott.” No anger, no disappointment. Simply, sadness, that he could not see you sooner. Godfrey, his father, returned at last to hold him one final time as he passes away, the rune of death now unbound and finding its way to Morgott after all this time. His last memory would be of being held by his father, loved for all that he is in the ashes of all that he dedicated his life to. His body fades, his entire world upheaved one final time, and an easily missed detail in the cutscene is that Morgott’s body becomes a Grace that points towards you, the player, to guide his father to his next step along the path of Lordship. One final time, Godfrey is guided by the unyielding love he feels for one of his children. Fuck it makes me so miserable. How do write something so tragic and not spend more time with it? How do you leave that beauty hidden in the details like it’s not one of the greatest moments of the entire game? It’s so quiet it’s private, almost. Like we’re not supposed to see that side of either of them, being such an outsider. It’s sundering to think about. Annihilating. I love it with all my heart and I hope more people love Morgott too after reading this.

[paraphwrites]

dbda & the consequences of your actions

tragic mick is the epitome of "be careful what you wish for." mick made a wish and he got what he wanted it's just not what he actually wanted. and there's no undoing it. he made a choice and it sucks and oh well, now he has to do what he can with what he's got left. and with what he's got, he chooses to be kind and help these silly little kids

simon is the epitome of "what goes around comes around." simon sent a dude to hell and then was sent to hell. he felt a feeling (homosexuality and guilt about that) and did a thing (bullied edwin) and now is suffering the repercussions (hell). and instead of learning from this mistake, simon is drowning in guilt and his own sadness. he cannot move on and he cannot be happy even when the victim of his hatred is holding his hand out and offering forgiveness

jenny goes along with niko's date idea and then nearly dies. on the one hand 'haha break from the analysis for a joke' but on the OTHER hand, this is an example of one small action having unforseen, huge ramifications. life is random!! shit just happens sometimes!! it sucks!! people get hurt!! and there is nothing you can do about it except hug each other and try to move on and be ok. like, that's it. jenny is the epitome of "karma isn't a bitch god just hates me."

the sprites is what happens if forgiveness is forced upon you. they just wanted to blow up this random bitch and suddenly they are in a jar. they are not killed, their "owner" is too kind. and holy shit are they pissed about it. same energy as spike in season 4 of buffy. they did shit & they stand by it but god said no sit in the corner

crystal's whole arc (especially what would have happened in season 2) is about redemption and dealing with the consequences of your actions. her entire character asks the question, what makes us bad people, nature or nurture, is it inherent or what we do? they come to the conclusion through her amnesia that it is very much nurture dependent, and while some meanness is habit (like how crystal is kind of mean when she first looses her memories, but soon is truly kind).

monty represents the cycle of abuse in a way slightly different to crystal. while crystal is removed from the cycle, monty is trapped in it. monty is manipulated and he manipulates other people. the people he betrays in turn are unable to help him and he is sucked back into the cycle and is now a crow again. still, he helps out the gang again, so, he is trying his best. monty is both good and bad and mostly he is a crow

edwin uses magic on a cat and then the same magic spell is used on him. action -> consequence. see this could be very obvious, nothing to take note of, EXCEPT i think it's something of note that edwin is willing to do not kind things for a greater good. the night nurse follows the same philosophy and then she is eaten by a giant fish, so clearly, if edwin had carried on this path, he would have been eaten by a giant fish, too

charles' biggest moment of reckoning is after he kills the night nurse. the others are worried or scared or both, and charles faces the consequences of his actions - he has an emotional breakdown. and instead of being scolded or told off further, the gang attempt to comfort him. and they don't really succeed but they try. they give him no punishment because the grief he feels is enough. charles is the epitome of "no one can punish you worse than yourself."

in conclusion, this is a half-analysis, because almost everyone's arc was still in progress. so i did my best.

[blueparadis]

❝ BACKWARDS ❞ + BYAKUYA KUCHIKI.

( cw. )—› f!reader, angst, stranger to (fre)enemies to lovers, canon typical elements, slowburn, widower!byakuya, soul society arc spoilers, arrange marriage , mention of death,smût descriptions. word count :: 3.2k | redirect to blog navigation.

( syn. )—› after an emotional whirlwind, byakuya was given a chance to recuperate his irrevocable losses but little did y/n know that it was not what he asked for and he could never have what he wanted to ask for; hence, she had to face all kinds of retaliation from him.

( notes. )—› submission for ‘a change of pace’ collab by @mekiza . also, please accept this Sawn ( @swanphantasm ) ; it is because of you that I became aware of how handsome ( and sad ) he is. well . . .he is not my favorite but i like him a lot, so much so that i wrote that same cliche trope with him. forgive me </3

Words do not express emotions and thoughts precisely. They always become a little different when they are expressed; a little distorted, a little foolish, and a little bitter at some times yet life still goes on carrying a bevy of misunderstandings. It has to go on at least for Byakuya, who was stripped of love and time. Time to grieve, give and forgive, time to heal, and time to fall in love again.

Another bright day washes over the lush green spread of the garden despite the despondency and the agony of losing his wife, Hisana Kuchiki, to illness, to mere illness . It has been a few months since he became the head of the family even though his grandfather was still alive. His grandfather thought it would be better if Byakuya became the head of the family while he has still time, time to supervise him to keep up the family's reputation at hard times. 

And so it began: the hypocrisy of rules. 

Ginrei Kuchiki, the former head of the Kuchiki clan, when death was knocking at his door declared that Byakuya needs to be re-married. He knew that even if he was the head of the family he had no freedom to exercise his wishes and desires. He was just a scarecrow now , not the head of the family. He wanted to protest. He was aware that he would have to re-marry since he is the only one to carry the family line but he did not know that it would be so soon. All he wanted was time but everyone was running sort of it. His grandfather once said that decisions made in haste yield no good. What happened to that now, huh? However, there was one thing he was free to do, and that is, to choose his wife regardless of the family background and bloodline. 

“You should be grateful that Byakuya has agreed to marry you even with all the rumors. He could have chosen a wife from the younger line of pure women” Y/N’s mother spoke as she kept on brushing her daughter’s hair, body shaking with excitement and tension brimming at her fingertips. She was not trying to hurt her. She only stated facts. Everyone knew about it. Y/N did too. Shihnōin Clan was one of the four noble families in the soul society. And the fate of the clan was hanging by the thread since Y/N’s previous marriage was full of woes. With no male heir she was the one to carry the bloodline. Even the distant families warded off when they had an ounce of the knowledge that Y/N was the reason for her husband’s death, for her own doom. And her father made it clear that she is too young to stay unmarried as soon as her husband was buried. No time to lament, nor to grieve. Tragic, is it not?

No. It is not. It was anything but not tragic. Sure, people talked, spun lies, and spread rumors but that is what they do, that is the only thing they know to do. Some said she poisoned her own husband; some said she was a witch of dark magic; some even go as far as saying that she had a secret lover who belonged to the low caste who killed her husband; But it did not matter what they said, it did not since if anything they helped to her to earn sympathy from the kinder souls, and Y/N’s mother made sure her daughter had no problem to have a stable life, finding her a proper husband and sealing the fate of Shihnōin clan with the Kuchiki clan. To people, it was more of an alliance, to the respective families, it was more of a marriage of convenience than a marriage. But to her it was a re-birth while to him it was just duty. 

It was the fourth of January when her heart beat again hearing the sound of carriage. He is here.  

Y/N could hear low voices from downstairs. Plain and prosaic but she could spot Byakuya’s voice out of them all. He specifically requested to see y/n alone and her parents did not express any objections. If she had not been married before, they would never have let her alone with a man, but as it was they thought they did not have to defend her virtue anymore. And Y/N could never tell them how wrong they were, that her previous marriage was never consummated. How shall she ever say that to him?

Byakuya was decent enough to knock and Y/N made no hurry to open the door. She bowed down, greeted him with a smile, and retreated towards the couch standing, waiting for him to follow her lead. “I hope you're aware of the circumstances of our meeting today. ” He seemed so restrained and controlled,  as if his emotions were bottled up so deep inside, not even he could reach them. It is a wonder how much of it was the result of his wife’s death and how much was his natural disposition. 

“Yes,” she said, hoping he could not see how nervous she was. She gestured toward the couch to the left. “Would you like to sit down for our talk?”Byakuya nodded. She sank down on the sofa, and he took the armchair across from her. She would have thought he would sit beside her, but he seemed content to keep as much space between them as was acceptable. 

“I assume your father told you that our wedding is planned for February 14th” Y/N  searched for a flicker of sadness or wistfulness in his voice, but there was nothing. She rested her hands in her lap, linking her fingers. There was less chance of him noticing her trembling that way. “Yes. He told me a few days ago.” Byakuya was courteous enough to give her the attention she needs. If all these were in his hands, he would not have been here. “I hope you're okay with this. With o-jii-sama’s health deteriorating and me being the head of the family, things are a little hasty. . .” Words became too heavy to reach her. She was bubbling with excitement that maybe, this marriage won't fail like the last one, maybe he won't flee with his secret lover while staging his death ( like her previous husband did ), and maybe he will see her as a woman enough. . . 

“Why did you choose me?” Y/N asked out of the blue unable to keep up with his calm demeanor anymore. She had been wondering about this ever since her father had told her about his agreement with Byakuya. She knew it was a question that she was not supposed to ask, not like this. Byakuya’s expression did not alter. 

“Of course. Many suggested your cousin but I didn’t want a  wife who’s barely of age. Unfortunately,  most women in their twenties are already married, and most widows are older than me or  have  children,  both  unacceptable  for a man in my position as you will probably understand.” She nodded. There were so many rules and etiquettes when it came to finding the right spouse, especially for a man in his position, which was why so many were shocked when y/n was announced as his future wife. Byakuya had stepped on many toes with that decision. “So you were the only logical choice. You are, of course, still quite young, but that can’t be changed.”

For a moment She was stunned into silence by his emotionless reasoning. She was not as naïve as she used to be, but she would have hoped at least part of the reason why Byakuya had chosen her was that he was attracted to her, found her pretty, or at least fascinating to some extent, but this cold explanation destroyed that small flicker of hope. 

“I’m twenty-five,” she exclaimed in a surprisingly calm voice. Maybe his aloofness rubbed off on her. If so, she would be known as the ice queen in no time. “That’s not young by our marriage standards.”

“Yes,  still five years younger than me” He sounded as if she was forcing him to marry her, as if one of the rumors, as they say, that y/n is a witch is true. His previous wife was barely a year younger than him and they had shared good five years of married life until she died due to illness on a fine morning on a spring day. 

“Then maybe you should look for another wife. I didn’t ask you to marry me.” The moment the words were out,  y/n  clamped a hand over her mouth, then met Byakuya’s gaze. He did not look angry, he did not look anything. His face was as it always was. Stoic and emotionless . “I’m sorry. That was very rude. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Byakuya has been sitting in the same manner as he did when he first took the armchair instead of the couch. He left the chair and walked towards her. With his hands now inside his slacks, his frame loomed over her. He took out his right hand, fisted, and kept the small velvet box on the side table. “Right. You shouldn't have.” Byakuya said as he noticed her eyes were still on the carpet. “But it's okay. I understand your concern.”

Her gaze flickered toward his right hand and her stomach plummeted. He was still wearing his old wedding ring. Another strange burst of disappointment filled her. If he wore it after all this time, he must still be in love with his dead wife, or was it a simple matter of habit? He noticed her gaze and for the first time his stoic mask slipped but it was gone so quickly that she thought she imagined it. Byakuya did not bother to explain and there was a knock on the door so he did not have the time either. With the exchange another set of pleasantries he left without a proper goodbye. 

The wedding day came sooner than expected. She barely had the time to count days. And as the elders of the family discussed, it was small with no engagement ceremony but with just close family members and friends. Y/N did not object, actually, no one asked for her opinion except her husband. But it would make a great fuss if she were to bring her opinions to light. Moreover, she had more serious things to worry about. If Byakuya came to know that she still had her virtue intact, it would be just a matter of minutes for her before Byakuya puts all the puzzle pieces together to get the whole picture. He is a cold, clever man. So, mercy was the last thing y/n expected from him. Her previous husband, her not-so-dead husband fled with his lover because the rules and the customs would have kept them apart. And, if Byakuya had any clue of what happened at backstage he would turn the world upside down, at least he was expected to do so.

Y/N was finally able to catch up with her life when she was in the carriage with her new husband. There was no time to decipher him with all the people around. This night was going to be her first proper wedding night but Byakuya made sure that there was no chance of it at all. He did not seem tired, or interested in her. She could not pin any moment where she caught him looking at her, not even once. Dread and relief filled her at the same time. By now it is okay to accept that she was the problem, not her fate, or him. Perhaps, she can keep the secret of her previous marriage enjoying the little freedom she has left in her life. 

The next morning was gorgeously sunny. When Y/N came downstairs she already found Byakuya on the other side of the dining table, with his breakfast and a rolled paper on a tray by his side. God knows, what news it holds? At least, not the one she was anticipating.

“I hope you slept well.” Byakuya broke the stifling silence that had made her think of all the possibilities that could end her life thinking of the contents of the letter. “I’ve already informed the staff to be here. Yesterday was an exception. Hope you did not have much problem without the staff not being around. They will be here at your beck and call, so you do not— was he mocking?

“That’s very kind of you.”

“Is something bothering you?” she nodded letting him know that there was no reason at all with a flimsy smile on her face. She could barely focus on eating the food. Byakuya noticed it too. “I thought you needed time.” his voice was coaxed with an apology. Of course. Byakuya would give her the very thing he was deprived of, for it had been his necessity too; Y/N’s glance switched to him and then to the food again. He did not look sorry though.

“As I said, That’s very kind of you.” She grabbed the tea cup and was ready to leave since there was no one to keep tabs on her etiquette and as such. If he wanted the marriage to work, then why should she keep trying all the time? all these hopes and anticipation would be the death of her if not the secret she is carrying with her.

“There will be a social gathering. On March 14th. You’re expected—She looked over her shoulder as the sound of the dragging chair made it to her ears. Byakuya hesitated before he spoke the rest, “I would like you to come with me.”

“Sure.”

Sure. Byakuya had his reasons to act the way he is acting. He was aware of the details of her marriage. Before visiting her, he made sure to do a background check and he did regret it when he recognized her previous husband. He had seen him in the land of the living. And, now he was not sure where exactly her loyalties lie: to him or to the man who left her. For now, he had no time to think about it. There were some grave matters that he had to handle.

Crest-fallen, a week prior to the gathering Ginrei Kuchiki took his last breath. There were lots of preparations and ceremonies to be done, but at the same time he could not afford to miss the meeting and so it all came down to y/n who had to shoulder most of the responsibilities while Byakuya just paid a visit to the meeting.

Time flew by as if someone were stealing it from them. Even though they spent the days under the same roof, Byakuya barely had a chance to speak to her or make things right. By the time he came to bed, she had already fallen asleep or was too tired to stay awake. Byakuya has been a light sleeper anyways. He often waited for her to be perfectly asleep so that he could slip under the same covers as hers. Y/N was too disappointed and angry to notice the small changes in him, in his gestures. Not that she tried, she did but Byakuya brushed her off every time. It was such a slow poison for her. She had made up her mind not to consummate this marriage unless they were asked for a child but fate never goes along with the human will. It opposes, always .

“You’re early,” Y/N said as Byakuya entered the room. Seeing her in a flimsy nightgown he looked away from her. She scowled when she noticed him looking away. 

“Could you wait for me? I need to refresh myself. I want to talk about something.”

Ah! finally, it's happening. She gave him a simple nod and slipped under the covers. Perhaps it was about an heir, or shifting into a different house or maybe a visit to other families or so; Y/N had no idea that her secret was going to slap her in the face.

“I see. How long have you been aware?” Y/n asked still facing away from him while Byakua was seated on the bed. “Since before our marriage.” Y/n turned and sat folding her legs, covering herself so that he does not have to look away while talking. “Ah! That’s why the cold shoulder.”

“No. No. I was just—

“Just thought that I might have a secret lover too?

Byakuya closed the gap a little, “Well, do you?” 

“Does it matter?”

Does it matter? Of course, it does. Byakuya did not respond not yet but Y/N could see his jaw tightening, muscles stiffing at the mere possibility of a ‘yes’.

She interjected, “Yeah! Thought so.” and left the bed, his sight heading towards the bathroom but Byakuya grabbed her hand and pulled her in his lap. She gasped loudly at such a sudden swift motion but more than so his bold voice declaring something so unexpected something so unbelievable that it turned her on more than it should. “Yes. it matters. It matters to me because I would be bothered, so much that I’m incapable of bearing the thought of losing you.”

Her breathing was heavy since not only his deep raspy voice stilled her motion but also made her thinking come to a halt. Byakuya slipped his hands under her gown earning a huge gasp as his lips touched her bare shoulders. Her body responded quickly, she arched feeling his cold and calloused fingers on her breasts, pinching her areola. “Tell me,”, his voice coated her skin with goosebumps, “do you want this, with me?” She turned her face, eyes holding the tears back, blurring her vision. She was burning with desire. How could she not?

“Yes.” Byakuya’s hands traveled down to her core, rubbing gently on her clit over the cloth. It was already damp. She could barely process all of these while his voice hinted impatience again, “then, tell me where you involved with him, in his act?” 

Her grasp on his thighs tightened as she struggled to stand up on her feet. With all the dim lights around it was not of any help. Byakuya pushed aside the fabric and touched the outer lips with more pressure than before. “Do you not want me?” Y/N has torn apart between keeping her self-respect and submitting her to him. She had tried countless times to get his attention, tried every lewd way to lure Byakuya that made her feel like nothing but a cheap whore.

“Do you not want me?” she managed to utter thinking of all those nights when she had to go to bed feeling like a mistress rather than a wife.

Byakuya verbalized holding her in his embrace tightly. “Yes. I do. I really do.”His voice reeked of agony and loneliness, his touch was so desperate yet so gentle. Y/N read him wrong, he was not playing games anymore. 

—

⌗ :: @sailewhoremoon @massivementalitynut @tokyometronetwork @underratedcharactercorner

[makemeimmortalwithahug]

I can't stop thinking about dead boy detectives and Emily Dickinson ever since I saw Edwin and Charles' relationship unfold, these two boys whose deaths were covered up and "did not matter," as Edwin put it, and who have kept running from Death together for thirty years and counting; these two boys who would do anything to stay together. And I can't get

"I'm Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too? Then there's a pair of us! Don't tell! They'd advertise - you know!"

out of my mind. Edwin and Charles as EdwinandCharles, together against everything that might separate them, looking into the world of the living from the outside but glad to do it together. They keep to themselves because, as long as they have each other's backs, it's always going to turn out at least okay.

Edwin and Charles cannot picture a world - an afterlife - in which they might lose each other, this bond they share of trust, harmony and loyalty. Emily herself wrote to her love Susan that she (I'm paraphrasing) that she might as well lose any other world, but she wants to continue living in the one in which she's together with her love. It's this utter devotion that we see in Edwin and Charles.

But also imagine Edwin reading Emily Dickinson's poems. I am not entirely sure when her poems might have been available in England, but I know that "I measure every Grief I meet" was first published in 1896.

I imagine him reading this poem during his time in school. He read it only once because this is the most he could bear, too real for him back then. He had suffered even before he went to Hell. He was bullied. His classmates would isolate him and cause him pain - they were the reason he eventually died, after all -, installed fear in him. The environment of the boarding school didn't give him any opportunity of respite, he couldn't get away and I doubt his parents would've been much of a help, if they had cared at all.

So, I imagine him quietly suffering, closing himself off because no-one seemingly cared enough to get to know him. Him barely talking, rather listening and watching what is going on around him, questioning whether everyone felt that way, so hollow and invisible at the same time, as if one wrong look would either go right through him or break him.

I measure every Grief I meet With narrow, probing, Eyes - I wonder if It weighs like Mine - Or has an Easier size. I wonder if They bore it long - Or did it just begin - I could not tell the Date of Mine - It feels so old a pain -

He has always felt this way, an ache he would tell himself he could barely feel anymore. Maybe he wondered as well how other people do it, living with a weight that drags you down and keeps you down, this dry sorrow that no tears flow anymore.

I wonder if it hurts to live - And if They have to try - And whether - could They choose between - It would not be - to die -

The encounter between Despair and Edwin is the reason why I thought of this poem in the first place. There are different kinds of grief, and despair is one of them, maybe that's why she might call upon Edwin someday.

There's Grief of Want - and Grief of Cold - A sort they call "Despair" -

Mostly I wonder what he would've thought, reading the last two lines:

Still fascinated to presume That Some - are like My Own -

Would he have been fascinated or would he have thought how unbelievably tragic this was? What would he think reading this after he met Charles? After he saw Simon again in Hell? Would it make him feel calm to see this written or sad?

No matter what it would be, I think him finding his way out of Hell (twice!) and Charles by his side have shown him that this pain does not define him, that there is always hope. And

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

after all.

quoted:

"I'm Nobody! Who are you?" by Emily Dickinson

"I measure every Grief I meet" by Emily Dickinson

"'Hope' is the thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson

[mindless-mars]

thank you @lilolilyr for tagging me <3

15 Questions for 15 Friends

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

A character in the Bible lol my parents just slightly altered the spelling

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Like half an hour ago when I re-watched Handsome Devil and Andrew Scott's character (Dan) told Nicholas Galitzines character (Conor) that being gay gets easier and Conor asked Dan why he still hides it then and Dan tears up and uaargh Andrew Scott being a tired sad gay just gets me every single time, okay?

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

no

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED

I can copy half of yours here @lilolilyr :D I did Judo, horse riding and handball when I was younger. Also gymnastics as a child and Tai-Do in uni for 2 semesters

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

ye

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

hair and clothes I think. cause you can choose these most of the time and it's how people express themselves

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR?

I just recently learned that you call them hazel I think? when they're green with brown/red/yellow?

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

tragic endings!

ANY TALENTS?

I can say any German word that I know how to spell backwards in seconds

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

at home actually

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

music, concerts, TV series and films, cuddling, sleeping

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

my parents have a cat (Simba my beloved) and soon a cat will move in here (Dipsi, I hope you'll be cuddlier than what your owner said ( don't think that sentence makes sense but my head hurts and I'm tired)

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

162,5cm

FAVOURITE SUBJECT?

English and German and I also liked Pedagogics and Psychology

DREAM JOB?

idk man...I do like teaching but I hate the conditions and the institution behind it...I don't think I really know right now

I tag @panicatthesocialmedia, @ne0n-and-fucking-garbage, @pommy-granite, @myceliumgirl, @thriceandonce, @gabetheunknown , @fenrir-flamekeeper , @amiko-pan , @gamer-shrimp-buoy , @further-than-forever , @sch4r4 , @jupitervega , @berg-gry , @milverton and @vorschlaghannah

and as always, I also tag everyone who reads this and wants to do it :)

(also I tagged many people I have never tagged before so PLEASE don't feel pressured and tell me if you don't want me to tag you in the future <3)

Blank copy for easier copy-pasting under the cut:

15 Questions for 15 Friends

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR?

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

ANY TALENTS?

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

FAVOURITE SUBJECT?

DREAM JOB?

[rocksibblingsau]

"Death is tragic, but sometimes living can be so much worse."

So..... same anon that send the rant ask that this come from and I just have to say how good this is. Like unbelievably so and everything from your response as well, I cant say this enough I love your writing and how you interpret trolls and their world

Honestly, you're so right that they likely had that "hes in a better place now" (pun not intended), it fits so well with what we know about pop trolls mentality and life-style. The same trolls that erased and forgotten everyone that was lost during the escape, including the heir, would also accept a little brother as dead and go on without checking so they can better ignore the grief of losing him. Thinking about it, thats a way better and in-character reason why Floyd never came back

People say that he was out partying or he forgor or whatever, but the thought that some 3-5 years later he stopped to think and realized "oh... hes probably dead by now", and now having to choose between confirming the "reality" that his brother died waiting for him or just moving forward, be happy and never think about things that upset you (that just pop trolls second nature at this point)

There is a part of me that still wants to write Brozone facing that grief either by having to save Floyd without him or reuniting some other way, now with the added against of "everybody including you forgot your brother ever existed, isn't that fun!". Thinking about it, I may even write that Branch died in the woods or something instead of the bergens. He didn't die because they left him in the tree, he died because they never came back for him. And the same mentality that "helped" them "grief" (read: ignore) his supposed dead is the same mentality that caused the pop village to ignore and ostracize him (that being what actually killed him). Tragic, gut-punching, hope they surfer and cry about it :)

But for my actual headcanon of the brothers mentally during those 20 years, I can only imagine your view of the situation is just that good and accurate. Thank you for entertaining my thoughts and sorry for the rambles lol

Thank you! I love overanalyzing things, and Trolls is a very fun subject to work with!

It's very in line with Pop mentality to just accept that and move on. Bruce especially lives on Vacay Island where "every day is a vacay". I could see a bit of that mentality existing there. Maybe not the 'sugar coat everything in glitter' degree but 'why worry?' type of ignore your problems.

Branch dying on his own rather than in the tree I think is a way more terrifying reality. Hundreds of Pop Trolls were eaten, and that's seen as the Bergens fault. Branch getting injured and having no one to check in on him so he passes is on the village. It's been mentioned in Rock Sibblings but the fact is, that was a reality Branch faced. Poppy likely would've come by EVENTUALLY but she was younger than him.

In Rock Sibblings the truth is if not for Poppy deciding to follow after him, no one would have ever known what happened to Branch. In Techno Branch and Classical Branch, no one actually does until 15ish years later.

With his brothers, it's sad to say that with an alive Branch, there's very little that could have them initially realizing that Branch is hurt. I mean look at him in Trolls Band Together. He's not fully grey but he's very drastically darker than they all are despite initially all having the same skin tone. Yet none of them react or mention it. They're fine to ignore the situation at hand.

Never apologize for rambles. That's what we do here.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

I am Never Not Thinking about Comic Ambrosius y'all

This mf was clearly so obsessed with Ballister, constantly showing up to "thwart" his plans without ever seeming to take it seriously, seemingly just as an excuse to be around him. He acts like a bratty thirteen-year-old with a crush who never got taught to express it properly.

He seems to live in his own little world, where he and Ballister have this silly little Nemesis relationship that's just a part of a game instead of the deeply fractured and tragic thing that it was. Presumably because it's easier to deal with than the guilt.

In the prison scene, he seems to completely ignore when Ballister basically tells him to shut the fuck up, continuing to reminisce fondly as though they're still friends. I really feel like he lives in his own little reality half the time. Living in a little world where they're playing a game of cops and robbers and they're still close deep down, even if he isn't doing it consciously, is a lot easier than acknowledging his guilt and the pain he caused someone he loved.

I think this is the reason he didn't apologize for so long, and also the reason his memory is so shit even before the head injuries. He legitimately cannot remember exactly what happened at the joust. He wanted so hard to believe it was an accident, to live in a world where it was an accident, that his brain created a false reality and erased the parts of his own memories that contradicted that. He didn't even realize that he hadn't apologized. He is horrified to receive that information. His brain constructed a reality where they had already made up, even though he knew they hadn't. His memories got so jumbled between his imagined and true experiences that he just assumed he must have already apologized, because he was sorry, why wouldn't he have?

I'm not trying to say that he was struggling with psychosis, he knew what was and wasn't real. But his brain dealt with guilt and trauma in very disorienting ways, choosing to ignore or erase truths that hurt him.

I can't imagine what their healing journey must have been like. Imagine trying to un-fuck the thing you fucked up the most in your entire life while also learning how to exist without the ability to walk unassisted, and possibly also recovering from brain damage, dysmorphia from your face getting shredded, and a myriad of other injuries. I cannot imagine the self-worth of someone who is being cared for by the person they love the most, who they irreparably hurt, while also feeling like a burden because they are newly disabled and can't yet take care of themselves.

Also it makes me sad when people talk like Blackheart would hate/be cruel to him post-comic like he wasn't willing to die/kill his friend to save him. He'd give him a ton of shit all the time probably but he'd also protect him like a wolfhound change my mind okay I'm done thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[mafiasliege]

I dare you to let me go

(this is part 5 of my fic. Enjoy reading!)

Part 4 ↓

AVERY

"It means we can't be together anymore."

The words were ringing in her ears, like they weren't true, like they couldn't be true.

Breaking up meant separating. And separating was simply impossible. It was something that happened to other people, not to them.

It was so poetically tragic, being in the verge of losing the love of her life in font of the very castle they'd won together 5 years ago, the way he'd kissed her like she was everything. Like they were everything.

Except she was nowhere closer to letting him go.

"You don't really mean that. Jameson. We will work this out, however long it takes. I'll be there, I promise."

Jameson threw his hands up in the air and gave the saddest, dryest chuckle ever, "Ah, there we go! Another promise. I wonder how long it'll take for you to break that one."

"I screwed up, I know that. But I need you. I'm not letting you go." Even through her panic, Avery said that fiercely. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. They stayed like that until,

"You need me, Avery. You don't want me."

"I do!" She yelled in exhasperation and threw her hands up in the air. A second tear cascaded down her other cheek.

"Then why do I find myself wondering if you'd choose me if it came down to the foundations and me?"

"I haven't felt wanted because you haven't chosen me. You haven't chosen me in a very long time." A tear feel on his cheek. Then another on his shirt… hold up. They weren't tears.

It was raining, and before they knew it, the sky was filled with big, bulbous storm clouds and they were running to hide under the shelter of the garage.

"How have you come here?" Jameson asked, as if they didn't share heart-breaking revelations minutes ago.

"By-by car. And about that…"

"What?"

"I may not have told your brothers or Oren, who are staying in Edinburgh"

"You came without Oren? He'll kill you!"

"They would've insisted on coming, but I knew it was me you were mad at, so I came alone."

Jameson sighed. He was beyond exhausted at this point, and the thunderstorm was too severe to ask her to leave.

"Give me your keys"

"Huh?"

"Your car keys, I'll park it in the garage."

-------------------------------------------

Vantage had changed in the last few years. It still had the Victorian charm and the countless antique furniture pieces and paintings that probably cost an arm and a leg. Some were added by Jameson, too. He'd travelled and collected a lot of things over the years. Key word: him, not them. He used to charter planes, he hadn't chartered one in a year.

Now she knew it was because he bought one.

Jameson loved Vantage. He paid a great deal of attention to it's upkeep. Five years ago, it felt like a sad piece of property, lifeless. Now, the place felt… happier. Like when you were paid a lot of attention and care to.

Totally unlike Jameson.

"What a storm! Get inside quickly, dear" exclaimed Priscilla, the woman with graying brown hair, pulled up in a bun, as she handed them both towels.

"Thank you, Priscilla," Jameson smiled at her.

Avery looked at both of them, confused.

"Priscilla is the housekeeper of Vantage. She also has mothering syndrome" he smirked at Priscilla. She waved a had at no one in particular and blew a raspberry in the air.

"The mouth on you. You are too deprived of motherly attention, anyway. Now, dinner's getting cold."

Priscilla hurried away, leving Jameson and Avery alone in the foyer as they dried themselves. Avery couldn't take the silence anymore. "So, she's nice."

"She is," Jameson looked into her eyes for a second, and then looked away and blinked several times, add of trying to banish her. Like looking at her too long hurt.

Or like he was scared he'd want to give in again.

They made it to the kitchen while the the storm outside kept raging.

This was going to be awkward.

------------------------------------------------

Priscilla was so sweet, Avery wondered how Jameson didn't have diabetes yet. But she was a great cook too. Except she didn't have time to focus on that.

The call with Oren, with Grayson and Nash chipping in was only piling onto to Avery's already stressed out self. Even still, after Avery convinced them there was security at Vantage, and that they were both fine (physically), Oren reluctantly agreed to come in the morning and Grayson gladly agreed to head back home and look after the foundations for a while.

After dinner, Priscilla went to sleep and having nothing to do, so did her and Jameson.

Avery's room had the most magnificent ceiling, with stellar designs full of stars that seemed to be of gold and silver. It was mesmerizing, you couldn't look away of you tried, and if you did, what you saw was the rest of the navy-colored room with similar stellar designs.

Stars, Avery thought, I got this room for a reason.

"Everything you need is here. Call me if you want anything." Jameson told her.

"I do want something." Avery took a step forward. "You. I want you back."

Jameson groaned, "Avery-"

"Please. I'll do anything."

"I can't, heiress. I told you, when we'd meet. Trust is the last thing that comes to me, if it comes at all, and you broke that trust. Repeatedly. The least you can do right now is give me some time."

Avery wanted him to go now. Go, so she can sink into that pretty pillow and cry an ocean to match the one outside.

"Okay," was all she could manage.

[nothing-to-see-around-here]

Okey- Here i am once again with the angst of sad Philza cus unrequited pining :'D

I had another scene popped up in my mind cus apparently I love romances in tragic settings like being doomed from the start:

So, do y'all remember the clip/moment when Techno said to Philza "For you the world"???

It wasn't romantic or even platonic, it was just in between their little banter about literal bookshelfs while they were exploring a village lmao

But, can you imagine how Philza felt when he heard that?

Like- imagine that the person you were pining after for literal decades suddenly blurts out that they would give you the world casually while looking at you with so much fondness as if you were the most precious thing to them, but also knowing that you are not- Because you know (of course you know) that you are not.

Let me just put down the scene cus I felt like writing:

"Sorry, matee, I really needed those bookshelfs" Philza says with an embarrassed laugh, scratching the back of his neck as he talks to Techno while trading with one of the villagers.

Technoblade looks over at Philza, laughing as he exits a house of the village. "It's okey, Phil- y'know what? Whatever, Phil, For you the world." He says jokingly as he puts a hand on Philza's right shoulder while smiling at him fondly.

Philza freezes, how is he supposed to answer when Techno just said that to him so... lovingly? He can't help but blush, holy shit- Did Techno really said that to him??? Is- Did he heard that right??

So he ends up faking a laugh, holding back his emotions, Technoblade quickly distracts himself and changes the subject of their talk. But Philza can't bring himself to forget what Techno said nor the way he looked at him while saying it.

Those damn four words would keep him up at night more often than not and are also one of the many reasons that Philza still doesn't leave Techno and chooses to stay with him. Because he knows that Technoblade cares for him, deeply, just that the care is only from friendship... So he would be lying if he said that hearing those words from Techno didn't gave him the slightest bits of hope...

--

(I am writing this while next to my bf and he told me "hurt👏 that👏 bird👏" so- uh- I blame him lmao)

I'm glad people are liking what I'm doing with these, I hope I did well again!

Thank you for the people who followed me and also the ones who rebloged my post as well ^^

Also, I'll do the one shot of this but for now I want to know which way I'm going with it first.

[cryptidclaw]

FINALLY someone who sees Squirrelflight the same way I do, not as the saint the fandom makes her out to be, but a character whose in the wrong and needs to get her shit together. I'm sorry but she and Brambleclaw have issues sure, but Bramble isn't just the one in the wrong. The fandom treats him like he's the devil (they treat Ashfur the same way, when I personally think his arc was interesting taking into account he found his mother as dog bait when he was a child and was basically left parentless, he and ferncloud took it very differently, fern going and becoming a mother to everyone and Ash trying to find love somewhere else and then getting rejected. Did he take it too far yeah, he did ofc but it's interesting to look at the psychology behind it) this fandom treats Squirrel and Leaf like their saints and can do no wrong but from where I see it. . .they cause plenty of the problems. Like why didn't they tell bramble about the three? How hard would that have been to tell squirrels mate, someone she trusts, what's going on?

since we talking about the morality/ goodness of Squirrelflight and Leafpool (and Brambleclaw and Ashfur) now I thought I would group these together and just ramble about Squirrel and Leafpool for a bit

I personally think that Squirrelflight and Leafpool are good people who had to make hard decisions that would inevitably hurt people in the hopes of protecting each other and their loved ones.

These two live in basically a cult and had to do some crazy shit to protect Leaf and her kits, and I don't blame them for what they chose to do in the situation they were put in. Were there ways that could have possibly been better? Ya probably, but they aren't evil for choosing to do what they did.

Also Squilf hurt the 3 by not telling them they were adopted, but also I feel like that's where her crimes end. Like Brambleclaw has been shown to be an abusive prick so I wouldn't blame Squirrel for not wanting to tell him the truth, especially when he's Thunderclan's deputy. I have a hard time believing he would have gone along with their plan, and he probably would have done something cruel and stupid if they told him. Yes him finding out did hurt him so I guess that's a crime in a way, but i really dont think Squirrel had any other options in that department.

I think out of Squirrel and Leaf, leaf is much more in the wrong here (love her and her bad decisions tho hehe). She had like some of the most illegal babies ever due to some really bad decisions (even if its unfair that her relationship was illegal) and then she let her sister take on most of the responsibility of dealing with her mistakes. Squirrelflight could have had a chill scandal-less life, but instead she took in her sister's kits and lied to the clan and her mate all to protect Leaf, when it wasn't even her problem and Leaf didn't stop her. Leaf didn't take on much responsibility for her mistakes, she just let Squif do that. I understand why but still if there's anyone to be mad it its Leaf and her bad decision making skills lol

I really love how complex their situation is, its probably one of the most interesting things that has happened in warriors. Its complicated, and the characters involved are good people who made bad decisions, and hard decisions. They wanted to protect the people they loved and it inevitably failed. I love a good tragic drama.

these two sisters are some sad soggy meow meows

I could go on even longer but I wont, could prob expand on Leafpool opinions too but i shall stop here.

[basingstokemercury]

The Magnificent Adah really is one of the episodes ever.

Oh yay! It's Younger Brother Hijinks - wait Adam is doing hijinks too? This is heaven - okay. that took a serious turn.

("They never kill off the hero"... Adam, you're the educated one. I'm sure you've read Shakespeare. I guess he's referring to his experience of the less-highbrow fare on offer in Virginia City?)

So I guess now the episode is an honestly terrifying depiction of stalking and Ben isn't telling the boys what's going on so they jump to conclusions and make things worse? Abrupt transition from farce to tragedy, here we come!

I'm still not sure what to make of Adam's attempt at confrontation. "Please don't date my father because I find you attractive myself"? He's supposed to be a man of honour, someone who can put others' happiness before his own impulses. Maybe this scene makes more sense to others, but it feels rather OOC to me.

JOE NO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO

"Adam, now, he's the dependable one. He's a worrier." So you do get him sometimes!

And we show just how ruthless our violent stalker antagonist is by having him half-kill a teenager for messing with "his" woman/because his father is dating her. As if things weren't dark enough already.

Not that I'm complaining though! Everyone is so upset and worried and they actually let him be scared and in pain and crying for his father, really good emotional decisions here!

"Pa?😢" (heart breaks) (but in a "this is good angst" way)

YES! VENGEANCE! DRAMATIC SHOWDOWN TIME!

Adam restraining Ben because he realises Hoss is better equipped to handle this... Such an interesting choice, I love how protective Adam is of his father but also it's another weight on his shoulders and nobody should have to be that strong...

But oh no! Even Hoss can't handle it because Antagonist has superior technique! Good thing Adam has proficiency at Insight checks and figures out his weakness!

So we get a happy ending, right?

Oh. No. That happened.

I won't say it quite comes out of left field because we've seen that Adah, while she knows this guy is dangerous and abusive, does remember good times and feel conflicted about him. Which, while tragic, is, I think, sadly often the case for people trying to leave relationships like that.

It's just a shame the story ends with her unable to break away. I won't say it's bad storytelling, everything makes reasonable sense logically and that gut punch is an interesting departure from the classic "and they deal with him and he never bothers her again and she's free to live as she chooses" windup for a plot like that.

It does make me sad, though.

I guess a question is whether she knows what was done to Joe or just sees the fight and assumes things escalated for other reasons? Because "I know this guy's awful but I don't want him hurt" isn't quite on the same level as "I know this guy nearly caused permanent injury to someone I see as little more than a child, but I'm going to take his side and comfort him".

[tempoaryblogformightyjensblog]

This episode pretty much solidified my thoughts on Belos

He is pure evil. He is a megalomaniac sadist who simply desires to hurt others, gain power and recognition. But he's not pure evil because he inherently lacks those qualities or was evil sense birth. Like characters such as Michael Myers or Henry Creel. Rather he is pure evil because he actively rejects any good qualities from himself.

Some were comparing him to Envy from FMA. And expected him to have a sad, tragic death even with how much of a monster he was.

The better comparison has always been Father from that series.

Both of them have simular plans at points. The 'day of unity' is clearly a nod to the promised day from FMA. And both of them end up becoming god-like beings by absorbing the settings equivalent to God. On that note both of them appear to give a righteous or 'holy' aura. Belos goes for the 'savior'/'prophet' image(And people have pointed out the way he looks like he's in a crucified pose in the finale) in Father's case his main form looks like the typical 'Bearded man in light' interpretation of God. In both of their cases, they are truthfully symbolic representations of the devil. With numerous parralels to Satan; making these visuals they take ironic. And both lose any dignity by the end and cowardly plead for mercy they gave no one else. While saying things to dodge responsibility for their actions.

Father once had some semblance of good qualities. He did care for Hoenheim at some point. Hence why he gave him an immortal body of his own. And as Hoenheim says, the reason he makes the other Homunculi call him 'Father' is because he secretly wants human connection and a family.

He simply rejected these qualities or threw them away. Out of his own selfishness. . He wanted to do away with any of those human qualities because he was 'above' them. He is still a very interesting character for this, and one could maybe still view him as tragic to a slight extent.

Philip is like this, he has human qualities or desires. He did love his brother and deep...deep down feels guilt over his death. He just rejects that fact, and ultimately his love for his brother. When he sees his ghost(literal or not) he makes it clear he blames him for everything and tries to kill him again. His upbringing did set him down the path of evil...but he spent centuries surrounded by chances to change his worldview. He refused, manipulating and killing those he tricked into trusting him instead.

He chooses to hurt and kill people because he steadily grew to enjoy doing those things. Threw away any of those sympathetic qualities and now only cares for living out his hero fantasy while gaining control over everything .

The overall point is that a pure evil villain, a complete monster does not have to be a flat character. They can be complex and interesting, Philip and Father certainly are. In cases like these it's a case where it's interesting how they actively choose to snuff out anything good in them. And the psychology behind that decision. They add to what makes them fascinating if anything.

[badassbutterfly1987]

2024 Yuletide Dear Writer Letter

General notes: fine with shipping or gen fics unless specified. Daemon AUs and Omegaverse are always fun but generally don't like completely different setting AUs. Open to fluff, hurt/comfort, or angst. Always appreciate a good smut fic. Just going to offer some prompts, will be happy with pretty much whatever you write.

Shades of Magic

Characters: Holland Vosijk, Ros Vortalis, Nasi, Ojka

I have a lot of affection for the White London gang and it makes me sad that three of the four here are dead. I've read Fragile Threads of Power so you can draw from that material as well.

Holland: I adore this tragic disaster of a man. Early years with Alox before things go bad? Or maybe the red flags he only recognizes in hindsight? The first meeting with Talya and the joy he had there? What about the years he spent in the Kosik alone, was he completely isolated or trying to help his community? Was he always an outsider or did some of them cautiously aknowledge the good he was trying to do? I would love to see Holland's four months as king and how he tried to fix things while juggling Osaron's slow corruption of him. Or perhaps how White London recognizes him as the Someday King after his death?

Holland/Vortalis: Canon divergence where the Danes fail? A different first meeting? How do they go from cautious allies to lovers? Can they save Makt the morally right way or would Vortalis become more like the Danes (just less sadistic)? In what ways does Holland grieve Vor's death during the Dane era and his own kingship? Would also love any happy moments during Vor's rule.

Holland&/Ojka: how did they first meet? What was it about her that made him choose her as his knight (aside from being the only one that didn't die from the man-made Antari experiment)? Something romantic develops during Holland's rule? An AU where they both live and continue ruling?

Nasi: this girl seemingly spent years in the castle under the Dane years. How did that come to be? Was she the only child in the castle? Did Holland ever try to shield her from the Danes and was she aware of it? Anything with her and Ojka would be cute. Or how she goes from the quiet girl in the main trilogy to the confident teen in Threads.

Coldfire Trilogy

Focus: Gerald Tarrant, Damien Vryce, worldbuilding

Still on book 1 but I know the later plot points and vague spoilers for the book 3 ending.

Backstory/character study for either of these two and their developing relationship. They're both fascinating and I would love to see more of them, either individually or as a duo/couple. Happy post-canon scenes?

The worldbuilding is fascinating and layered and I would be intrigued by whatever you create with it.

Dracula 1897:

Characters: The Brides of Dracula, Abraham Van Helsing

Most interested in backstory and missing scenes.

While they're called the Brides in pop culture, the book only refers to them as the Weird Sisters I think. Does Dracula treat them as wives? Two are noted to resemble him, so are they relatives? Why did he turn them and why do they stay with him? Was there never affection between them as one implies or has time just turned those feelings bitter? Were they just going to be left behind in the castle or was there a plan to move them to London after the houses had been established?

Van Helsing has some knowledge of vampires. Has he encountered one before? Has he seen the aftermath of a vampire attack? How did he become Seward's mentor?

The Devil Inside:

This is a strange obscure computer game from 2000 that is half Resident Evil, half The Running Man (or whichever live reality tv comparison works best). This review gives a pretty good overview of the game. Here's the old manual url if the Archive comes back online in time.

We have Dave the paranormal investigator who has a literal she-devil inside of him. How did that come about? Did he actively make a demon deal or is this a Venom 2018 situation where she tried to possess him and they eventually formed an equal relationship? Also there's some gender fuckery potential with him having an inner female demon whose name is an acronym of his.

Jack T. Ripper: slimeball host who somehow managed to turn Dave's story into a successful live show. How did that happen? Has he formed a reasonable contract with the duo or is this a more dystopian setting where he basically "owns" Dave/Deva? The way Jack repeatedly calls him 'babe' opens up some room for smutty/dark implications.

Worldbuilding: the scraps of it are interesting and there are a variety of things that can be done with it. Deva is presented as a succubus who serves Satan by killing other demons and monsters. You can lean into the Christian demon influence or toss it out entirely for the sake of an interesting fic premise (ex: Deva shares a similar name with the Zoroastrian 'gods to be rejected'; maybe she's some kind of ancient Sumerian demon and is called a succubus for branding purposes).

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2013:

Characters: Mina Murray Harker, Henry Jekyll, Captain Nemo

just disregard everything from the comic. They're such different beasts that the few things I like from there wouldn't translate well into the movie verse. I have read the original books the material draws from but it's been awhile; draw from them as much or as little as you want.

Mina: I'm curious about her being a chemist. Was she learning chemistry before the Dracula incident or is it a more recent occurence? Does she have all the usual vampire powers? Does she have any of the weaknesses? What happened to Jonathan? We're told he died but nothing more than that.

Jekyll: What's it like on a daily basis with Hyde? How did he get driven out of London? He's crushing on Mina, does it develop more than that?

I know the least about Captain Nemo so no specific prompts. If you have a specific story you really want to tell with him, here's your chance!

Big fan of the team dynamic. Do they go on more adventures? Do they just hang out a lot?

Killer7:

Characters: Dan Smith, Kaede Smith, Garcian Smith, Emir Parkreiner

This is such a surreal confusing game and I love it.

Dan has the most substantial backstory with his twisted relationship with Curtis and there's plenty potential there. Kaede deserves similar love; Hand in Killer7 offers more tidbits if you can access it. What's it like for the Smiths on a dull non-working day? Do they just hang out in Garcian's head or can they physically exist in the same place to chill? Do Emir's memories ever slip through before Garcian remembers? What's he up to post-canon?

[morelikeravenbore]

How to Make a Villain - Sebastian Sallow x FMC

✨ Ao3 | Wattpad ✨

A comprehensive guide on how to turn the good guys bad.

Seventh year mostly soft!seb but he's got the ✨trauma✨ | slooooow burn | idiots in love | mutual pining | hurt comfort | villain arc | that one trope where the fmc has to either embrace her special magical ability or be destroyed by it but I don't know what it's called specifically.

18+ No smut (tbh there probably will be segs eventually but it'll be geared more toward the emotional end of the scale rather than the explicit), lots of fluff, lots of angst. TW: Mentions of parental loss, family trauma, implied murder, sexual references and mild violence.

A Hogwarts Legacy fic that explores how grief & trauma can fundamentally change the course of a person's entire life.

THE BLURB:

Aurélie Collins wishes she were invisible. Unfortunately, despite her best efforts to be normal, there are a great many unusual things about her. She's the only transfer student Hogwarts has seen in recent memory, she has an absolutely abysmal sense of direction, and - though she desperately wishes she couldn't - she can wield an ancient and highly unstable form of rare magic.

When a tragic event rips her from her life of opulence at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, Aurelie is unceremoniously thrust into the freezing cold Scottish highlands to finish her final year at Hogwarts, where the castle's floor plan is impossible to navigate, obsession with blood status runs prevalent among the student body, and it's freezing bloody cold - all the time.

Worse still, she finds herself unable to escape the unwavering attention of Sebastian Sallow. Tall, handsome and infuriating, the Slytherin Quidditch captain is convinced he's the greatest thing to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts, is best friends with a Gaunt, and, to Aurélie's endless irritation, does not want to let her out of his sight. Ever.

Read chapter one under the cut.

If Aurélie Collins had to choose one word to best describe herself, she supposed it would be - to put it as delicately as she could - completely and utterly overwhelmed. Granted, that was four words, not one, but as she trudged down yet another unfamiliar corridor, she was just relieved she could string together a coherent sentence at all. After the last few months of hell she'd endured, Aurélie wasn't her usual eloquent self, to say the least.

She hadn't always been that way - overwhelmed, that is. In fact, if asked only a few months ago to describe herself, she would've said she was dutiful, quick-witted, and, if not brave, then definitely unafraid of facing challenges head-on. She'd been a confident girl once; she got good grades, always did as she was asked and never stepped a toe out of line, and everyone - from her parents and teachers to her friends and peers - knew that Aurélie Collins would go on to achieve whatever she set her mind to.

Now, though? Well, nowadays she was too exhausted to set her mind on anything. Since she'd been forced to start a new school in a new country - in the seventh and final year of her magical education at that - Aurélie felt that the only substantial thing about her was the crushing sadness that pervaded her every waking thought, as if every other part of her had been utterly annihilated by grief. Not that she allowed herself to feel any of that grief if she could help it - but it was always there, pervasive and relentless, weighing her down like a heavy wet blanket as she tried to swim through the rapidly changing currents of her new life.

Breathe, Aurélie, she told herself as she trekked ever deeper into the immense stone castle that was her new school. You've handled worse than this.

But this was a lie; she hadn't handled anything worse than this. The truth was that she was adrift in a perpetual ocean of grief that constantly threatened to consume her. She had no anchor, nothing to tether her to anything solid.

And this new school of hers certainly wasn't doing anything to improve her situation.

Bloody Hogwarts.

Of all places she'd ever imagined herself living, the freezing cold Scottish highlands was absolutely not one of them. But, then again, she wouldn't have believed that she'd be an orphan at seventeen either, yet here she was.

Hogwarts was famous, of course. Heralded as the pinnacle of magical education and the top school in the wizarding world, most witches and wizards were honoured to attend such a prestigious establishment. But Aurélie Collins was of the opinion that every bloody thing at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was confusing, unnecessary, or just downright nonsensical. From the ever-changing floorplan to the myriad of talking portraits - all of whom gave wildly conflicting directions to her classes depending on which ones she asked - nothing about Hogwarts made any sense.

Aurélie was almost in tears by the time she reached another dead end. It was simply impossible to find one's way around a school like this; there were too many floors to navigate, too many disused classrooms and far too many staircases that led to absolutely nowhere. Not to mention, beyond its confusing floorplan and unbearably draughty rooms, the ancient hulking castle was rather ugly - by Aurélie's standards at least. The monolithic Gothic castle was so far removed from the elegance and charm of Beauxbatons that it seemed almost cruel that she should be forced to endure it at all. She could almost hear her best friend Céleste's reaction if she were with her now. 'Ugh, it's so awfully medieval,' she would say. 'Stone Gargoyles? And all those uncouth English boys? I don't know which I find more barbaric!'

She almost smiled at the thought. But only almost - for thinking of her best friend only made her sad.

Aurélie shook herself mentally, shifting the heavy weight of her books from one arm to the other. She did not like thinking about her old life, least of all on her first day of school while she was lost in the labyrinth of never-ending corridors and endless classrooms. She had the distinct and slightly alarming sense that she was headed in completely the wrong direction as she tried to find her first class of the day, but, having never set foot in Hogwarts until the night before, found herself without any point of reference with which to correct her course.

'Which Merlin-forsaken floor is this, anyway?' she muttered to herself in French as a group of first years skittered around her, giggling obnoxiously as they hurried down the long corridor. They were wearing the green and silver colours of Slytherin house. She knew of Slytherin house only because her father had attended Hogwarts in his youth; though he'd been a Hufflepuff - a badger, not a snake.

Aurélie's heart gave an awful lurch at the thought of her father. Oh, her wonderful father: patient and good-humoured and endlessly curious and -

Dead. He's dead, Aurélie. Stop thinking about him.

She swallowed down the hard lump in her throat and trudged on determinedly, descending what felt like the hundredth set of stairs she'd already followed that morning. She could feel disappointment and embarrassment roiling in the pit of her stomach; she wasn't used to failing at anything let alone something as simple as getting to class on time. Even the bloody first years knew where they were going, for crying out loud, and they'd been here for just as short a time as she had.

When at last she found herself facing yet another dead end, she finally conceded defeat. Trying very hard not to cry, she adjusted her unflattering black robes (oh, to be dressed in fine blue silk again) and began to seriously consider how much trouble she'd be in if she just went back to bed. Or, more tempting still, how badly she'd be punished if she fled back to France and never returned to Hogwarts again, graduation be damned.

But no, she couldn't leave Hogwarts; it was the safest place for her since her parents had died, and Professor Weasley, the deputy headmistress, had evoked the power of Merlin himself to secure her a place here at such short notice. Apparently, it had not been an easy feat convincing Headmaster Black to take on a student with her reputation.

Aurélie sighed and squeezed her eyes closed. 'It's just for one year,' she muttered under her breath, repeating the phrase that had become her mantra. 'Just one year, that's all.'

'Unless you're trying to break into the Slytherin common room,' said an unexpected voice behind her, 'I'm going to assume you're lost.'

Aurélie whirled around so fast she whipped herself in the face with her long auburn braid. She hadn't always been a jumpy sort of person, but losing both parents at the same time had a way of making one rather fearful of unexpected voices in unfamiliar corridors.

The boy who stood before her had his wand held aloft; its tip glowed brightly red in front of his face, casting an ominous-looking hue over his pale skin. Aurélie's mind immediately conjured visions of dark shadows and searing red pain, and for one dreadful moment, she thought he was about to curse her. Her palms tingled; a telltale sign that the forbidden magic that flowed through her veins was still very much alive - and very much wanted to be used.

She took an automatic step backwards, clenching her fists tight. Thankfully, the boy made no move to attack; instead, he simply stared at her. No, that wasn't right, he wasn't staring at her - he was staring through her. It was then that Aurélie noticed his eyes; milky white and translucent, they gleamed like ghostly orbs in his angular face.

The boy was blind.

'Sorry,' Aurélie said, a little breathlessly. 'I'm trying to get to my Defence Against the Dark Arts class, but I'm afraid I have no idea where I am.'

The boy laughed, and though the sound was pleasant enough, it was undoubtedly more incredulous than amused. 'Oh my, you are lost, aren't you?'

A small badge engraved with the words Head Boy was pinned to the breast pocket of his immaculate robes. Even bathed under the red glow of his wand light, she could clearly make out the tiny snake etched onto its gleaming surface. Another Slytherin. She'd known very little about the four Hogwarts houses before coming here, but when the sorting hat had asked her if she had a preference, all she could think was that she didn't want to be part of a house whose emblem was a snake.

When Aurélie did not reply, the boy heaved an impatient sigh.

'You're the new Ravenclaw,' he said matter-of-factly. 'I must say, I didn't expect to find you all the way down here.'

The boy had a rather aristocratic air about him - haughty and vaguely displeased as all aristocratic types were loath to be, with silvery hair slicked back from his face, high cheekbones, and a sharp jawline that screamed of fine magical breeding. Aurélie wondered vaguely which noble family he was from, for she certainly knew a wealthy pureblood when she saw one; half of Beauxbatons was full of old ennobled wizarding families.

As she opened her mouth to ask him how he knew who she was - being blind and all - he spoke again.

'I recognise your accent,' he explained as if he'd read her thoughts. 'There aren't any other French students at Hogwarts.' His sharp, clipped voice was a stark contrast to his delicate features, and yet, there was something strangely ominous about it that stirred something inside her. Something familiar. Something... unpleasant.

'Half French,' she corrected him, pushing the thought away. 'My father was English, mother was French. But - er, yes, I suppose I do sound different to everyone else.'

Having been duo lingual all her life, Aurélie spoke both English and French perfectly - but apparently, her French accent wasn't as undetectable as she'd hoped. She smoothed her clammy hands down the front of her awfully drab robes, acutely aware of how the boy's unseeing eyes seemed to be looking right at her with surprising intensity.

'Yes, well,' he drawled in a tone that suggested that he didn't particularly care about the finer details of her heritage. 'You're absolutely nowhere near the Defence floor. In fact, you're almost in the dungeons. Frankly, I'm baffled you managed to make it here from the Great Hall all by yourself. Why weren't you following your classmates?'

'Oh. I wasn't in the Great Hall. I came straight from my common room.'

Not entirely trusting that anything she ate would stay down for long, she'd opted to skip breakfast in the hall with the other students that morning and head straight to class instead. Though the few Ravenclaw's she'd met so far had seemed friendly enough, their interest in the new foreign transfer student made her uncomfortable. One particularly brazen Ravenclaw boy - whose name she couldn't remember - had ogled her like she were some sort of exotic beast and told her that Hogwarts never got transfer students - not ever. 'If I'd been made to be sorted in front of the entire school as a seventh year,' he had said, 'I would have died of humiliation.'

Inwardly, Aurélie had agreed with him, for she certainly didn't count the sorting ceremony as one of her favourite life experiences. Outwardly though, she had only smiled politely and told him it hadn't been so bad before excusing herself to a quiet corner of the common room to sit alone.

She had no intention of making any friends during her single year at Hogwarts. In fact, she'd made a promise to herself that she wouldn't. After all, she was planning on heading straight back to France the moment she graduated, and the thought of saying goodbye to any more people she cared about was an ordeal she wasn't sure she could handle. But beyond that, she also feared that should anyone find out why she'd transferred in the first place, their interest in her would only intensify.

As a seventeen-year-old witch who hadn't achieved anything particularly extraordinary, Aurélie didn't think herself interesting by any stretch. But unfortunately, having your family murdered by dark wizards certainly was - and that was not something she wanted to be known for. Better to be invisible than be a source of gossip and speculation.

The boy tilted his head, his translucent pupils a little unnerving under the red glow of his wand. An inexplicable shiver of fear skittered down the back of Aurélie's arms and settled in the pit of her stomach.

'So you're telling me you managed to get yourself from the Ravenclaw common room - one of the highest points in the castle - to the very lowest depths of the dungeons, and you didn't at any point stop to think that perhaps you were headed in the wrong direction?' he said. 'Nor did you think it prudent to eat something before you start studying for your N.E.W.T.s, the most important and difficult exam in a witches educational career?' He shook his head in exasperation. 'And here I was thinking Ravenclaw's were supposed to be intelligent.'

Aurélie didn't know how to react to this outburst but rather thought she'd been right to not want to be in the snake house. When she made no reply, the boy heaved another heavy sigh, clearly annoyed.

'Very well. As Head Boy, I suppose it is my duty to help you - even though you ought to be old enough by now to look after yourself. Come along, then.'

With a small shake of his head and a mild sneer, the boy turned on his heel and strode purposefully down the empty corridor. Despite her chagrin, Aurélie couldn't help but marvel at the way his wand seemed to act as a proxy for his sight; pulsing like a heartbeat, it lead him effortlessly through the maze of corridors that even she - with her perfect vision - couldn't seem to navigate. She hurried after him, silently chastising herself for being so useless that she had to be led to class by a blind boy.

'Ominis Gaunt, by the way,' he said once she'd caught up to him; he was rather a fast walker for someone who couldn't see where they were going.

'Oh, er - hello, I'm Aurélie -'

'Collins - yes, I know who you are. Now, do pay attention, won't you? Defence Against the Dark Arts class is on the third floor, not in the dungeons. Even I can tell this isn't the third floor, and I'm blind.'

Aurélie flushed. Perhaps the sorting hat had made a mistake putting her into a house whose members were valued for being clever.

'So... you're Head Boy?' she asked timidly.

'That is what I said, isn't it?' came his sharp reply. 'And I'll have you know that I've quite enough to be getting on with today without needing to rescue stray Ravenclaws from the dungeons.'

'I didn't need rescuing,' she muttered under her breath. Ominis only ignored her, and after a very tense silence and several staircases later, they came to a stop outside the correct classroom on the third floor.

'Do try not to get yourself so embarrassingly lost again, won't you?' he said tersely. 'I don't have time to babysit seventh years, I've enough first-year drama to deal with as it is.'

And with that, he was away again, muttering darkly about Ravenclaw's and incompetence as he went, leaving Aurélie standing dumbfounded in his wake.