#like have y’all seen literally anything he’s been saying lately????

[anarchypumpkincowboy]

Love (/s) how so many people are taking this as a “we need to vote blue no matter who even more now!!!” moment instead of a “we need to put even more pressure on the dnc and the Biden campaign to give us a candidate that actually stands a chance at winning!!!” moment

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Barbie Girl 💄 | Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin Imagine

Takes place before, during, and after the events of Top Gun Maverick

TGM Masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Barbie!reader (romantic), dagger squad (platonic)

Content warnings: light profanity, fluff | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 4.3k

Requested 📨 yes/no (for @kayla-swiftly)

Premise: They say the sky is the limit and anything you set you’re mind to will be achieved as long as you’re dedicated to it. For most people that testimony is nothing but a mere fantasy. But for one woman, with too many dreams to count on her fingers, she took that statement to heart. Proving you can be anyone you want to be and maybe even a few others give or take 😉

Note: Anyone else obsessed with Barbie lately?? Omg y’all I saw the movie last week and absolutely fell in love and i had this request from around the time the final trailer dropped and knew it was the perfect time to write this. I know I know I haven’t been living up to my promise of being consistent but man they having me working my ass off at my job. Also I’ve been traveling and I saw Big Time Rush last night (i felt like a teenager again and it was amazing 😭) anyway I hope you enjoyed this and let me know what you think!

—————————

“Hi, Barbie!” The familiar greeting fills Y/n’s ears as it does every morning she arrives at the hangar. With it comes an instant smile, hand raising to wave at the person responsible for it, “Hi, Phoenix!”

“Hey there, Barbie,” winks another friendly face.

“Hiiii, Hangman,” her tone is playful like his, turning energetic for Bob when he goes, “Hiya, Barbie!”

“Hi there, Bob!”

“Hey, Barbie.” “Good morning, Barbie.” “What’s up, Barbie Girl.”

“Hello, Rooster.” “Good morning to you too, Fanboy.” “Nothing much, Pay. And yourself?”

Unlike her fellow pilots, clad in their deep green flight suits, Y/n stood out in the crowd for hers was a little unorthodox when one thinks of a naval fighter pilot's uniform.

It was pink. Completely as in her combat boots were also the bright color and the patchers were white and pink tones rather than red, blues, black and any other color seen in the ones attached to her coworkers arms. ‘Barbie’ in pink cursive writing instead of traditional bold Times New Roman lettering.

And don’t forget the little flower dotting the ‘i’.

Growing up, Y/n took ‘you can be anyone and anything you want to be,’ quite literally. At no point was it a joke to her when she would tell her friends and family, “oh I’m gonna be a fashion designer and Olympic Gold medalist when I’m older,” “I wanna go to space, fly in planes, and see all the wonders of the world,” “I’ll be a doctor, a teacher, and movie star!” They’d smile and laugh, thinking it was adorable for a little girl to dream big. No way would it be possible to achieve all of those careers. Everyone only gets one life to live and time goes so fast one can only set their eyes on one path and hope for the best.

But Y/n was a dreamer. And if you’re going to dream, might as well dream big.

All through middle and high school people took Y/n’s intelligence for granted. Focusing more on her beauty rather than brains, it came as an under shock to everyone when Y/n had the credits to graduate at the ripe age of 15. Exceeding in her standardized test scores with a high school resume taking up three pages with extracurricular and academic achievements, she had colleges from all over the country begging for her to apply.

Stanford. Cornell. Pratt. Juilliard. NYU. John Hopkins. Harvard. UCLA. Duke. Top medical and law schools. Ivy League universities. Performing Arts schools calling for auditions after sending scouts to watch her perform in school plays and dance recitals. Coaches from high ranking NCAA gymnastics teams sending emails after emails.

So many to choose from….And so the story of Y/n L/n becoming a real life Barbie Doll begins.

Setting her eyes in New York, Y/n attended not one but two of the best schools in the country. While obtaining her bachelor’s in both astronautical and aeronautical engineering at NYU Y/n also completed a two year degree in Fashion Business Management at the Fashion Institute of Technology. During this time she continued training for the Olympics in hopes of making the 2008 Beijing team in gymnastics.

“How do you do it?” Her roommate at NYU constantly asked. “You go from here to FIT, working on two degrees that are completely on opposite sides of the spectrum and career paths,” she emphasized with hand expressions, “and still have enough to time to go to the gym to practice, eat three meals a day, have all your assignments done early, and sleep a reasonably about of hours each night.” Letting out an exhale, her roommate looks at Y/n as if she’s an alien from another world, “What’s your secret? Are you some kind of Barbie doll the government created as a test robot?”

Each time Y/n would pause, think for a moment before smiling, “I don’t know if I should find that as an insult or compliment, but I’m gonna chose it as a compliment and say it’s because I want to live a life where I can look back on and go, ‘I took a risk and tried something new even if it didn’t look possible but it was all worth it.’”

By the time Y/n turned 20 she had accumulated a vast list of credentials to her name. The list included getting her fashion business degree at 17, Bachelors in astronautical/aeronautical engineering at 19–receiving her Master’s for it at 20–An Olympic Gold and Silver medalist, dancing with the Radio City Rockettes, performing with the NYC Ballet Company in their rendition of Swan Lake, landing a role on Broadway, walking a runway at NY fashion week, and appearing on episodes of SVU, 30 Rock, All My Children, Sex and the City, and Ugly Betty.

So yeah, New York was a success in experiences for Y/n.

Following the high note, she packed her bags to leave the golden apple for the flashing lights of Hollywood, California. This time Y/n was working on her doctorates at USC, running her own business with her fashion degree called ‘Dream Closet’, and auditioning for film and tv shows.

Hollywood was a dream come true just like New York. Again she attended two different schools, this time flight school and USC. During the day she was occupied running from class to the hangar and then the observatory. Coaching dance and gymnastics on the side, designing clothes for her online shop which developed into a pop-up chain store in malls across America.

It wasn’t long until Y/n’s name grew into nationwide popularity. People started realizing the Y/n L/n who won the Gold and Silver medals in the 2008 Olympics was the same one responsible for the most recent fashion trends and guest starring on their favorite tv shows. What really set it in stone was when Y/n landed the role of an engineer officer in the 2009 reboot of Star Trek, going on to appear in both the 2013 and 2016 sequels.

Impressive was the only word her costars could use to describe her. What else was there?

Anytime there was a question involving, “who’s most likely to become president?” “Who’s most likely to try something new or create a new hobby?” “Who’s most likely to win a Nobel Prize?” Along those lines…the answer was obvious.

“Oh Y/n,” Zoe Saldana waves her hand, “Always.”

“Yeah,” Chris Pine agrees with a laugh, “That woman, I-I don’t know how one has the energy to do all that she does—a-and still want to do more.”

The Interviewer laughs with them, “didn’t she just race in the Daytona 500 last year?”

“Yes!! And she did a song with Lady Gaga when they were on American Horror Story,” Zoe’s tone is in absolute awe, “All while teaching at USC and creating new technology at NASA.” Chris lifts a finger.

“Don’t forget she had her own Mac Viva Glam line a couple years ago.” Zoe made a sound along the lines of ‘see what I mean,’.

“I’m telling you, she’s gonna be a name in the history books.”

What all has Y/n accomplished career wise? Let’s take a look.

Model, dancer, actor, singer, fashion designer, entrepreneur, athlete, engineer, race car driver, and professor.

And now she can add pilot to the list. Although she got her license to fly way back in 2009, Y/n didn’t put it to use full time until 2016, wanting to wait until after the release of Star Trek: Beyond to say goodbye to Hollywood for the time being and set forth on her next adventure.

Boy did it come as a surprise what she had planned.

The Manila folder containing her resume hit the desk of the Admiral, his eyes wide as saucers. “You wanna join the Navy?” Reading the front page for a fifth time, Cyclone glanced back at the woman in front of him. Doctor Y/n L/n. Or is it professor L/n? “And you wanna be one of my pilots?”

“Yes, Sir.”

”Ma’am, I apologize if this comes off as offending,” he really didn’t know any other way to put it. “But you are more qualified than any person on this base. Doctorates in aeronautical and astronautical engineering from the University of Southern California,” he counts off on his fingers, “you recently developed a groundbreaking advancement in space technology that’s going to help our astronauts—on the road to becoming a Nobel Prize nominee.” He raises his eyebrows, “And this is only what relates to this career field. I’m not even mentioning your acting, athletic, and fashion credentials. Why join the Navy?”

Y/n only offers a shrug, “I think the better question is, why not?” Cyclone lets out a sigh.

“What did you say your callsign was again?”

“Barbie.”

There was no stopping the small smile trying to break free, “I should’ve guessed.”

After completing OTS there was much debate on what Y/n’s rank would be coming into the Navy. Civilian lawyers and physicians often are Lieutenants (O-3) right away, but considering Y/n had two doctorate degrees and her pilot license they felt it was only fair for her to come in as Commander (O-5). From there Y/n was sent to North Island to attend Fighter Weapons School.

Better known to its flyers as Top Gun.

Y/n was used to the looks she received on a daily basis. From head to toe she was covered in variations of pink depending on what she was feeling. When teaching her briefcase and pantsuit were baby pink, in the labs her coat was hot pink, at auditions she wore pink leather jackets. Even her race car for the Daytona was pink.

Shoutout to Mac cosmetics for the sponsorship.

So it’s no surprise her flight suit would be the color she was known for—despite it being out of regulations.

Being more qualified than your superiors had its perks.

If she could have a pink F-18 she would but unfortunately that wasn’t possible. That was okay for Y/n. After all, she managed to get her own custom flight suit. One which had everyone having to do double takes whenever she walked into a room.

“Is she wearing…?”

“How the hell did they allow that?”

“Does that mean I can have mine in purple?”

Her first day at Top Gun Y/n met Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace. They were paired as roommates in the dorms and quickly became good friends. Phoenix was beyond amazed with Y/n’s accomplishments and experiences. Every conversation led to a new discovery. “Do you ever burn out?” Nat stag criss crossed on Y/n’s satin pink bed sheets, admiring her wall of photos from when she traveled to see all the wonders of both the ancient and modern world. “I feel I’d be a walking corpse from exhaustion. And you mentioned you’re still running and designing clothes for ‘Dream Closet’?”

Y/n removed her diamond studs, placing them on her desk she was using as a vanity. “I have a team dealing with the business side of things for the brand. I’m still CEO and creative director—usually I work on designs for a couple hours before bed to prepare for the next launch.”

Nat was in awe, “I have to ask….what’s been the best career you’ve done so far?” A common question Y/n heard, there was never a true answer. She loved every career. They all had their perks and their flaws, but at the end of the day it left her satisfied she achieved them.

“I don’t know yet,” she spoke truthfully, “I still have a few to check off on my list. When that happens I’ll let you know.”

Fast forwarding to 2019, Y/n answered the phone to Admiral Simpson’s voice with the news she needed to report back to North Island for a highly confidential mission. The details were unknown, but Y/n packed her bags, loaded her pink vintage corvette convertible and high tailed it to sunny San Diego.

The squeals initiated by Y/n and Nat the moment she stepped foot in the Hard Deck had heads whipping in their direction. “Hi, Barbie!” Nat’s arms opened for a hug.

“Hi, Phoenix!” Y/n accepted the embrace, still grinning ear to ear. The guys around them were looking at each other like, ‘what the…?’ Y/n wasn’t in her standard Khakis like they were—minus Rooster. She bore a pink denim number with matching boots with her hair curled and pink eyeliner surrounded by tiny rhinestones.

“You got selected too?” Nat complimented her outfit before cutting straight to the point.

“For the special detachment? Looks like it,” she winked.

“What happened to the Artemis program? Weren’t you up as a candidate?”

“Oh I still am,” Y/n affirmed proudly, “They’ll be announcing who’s to be selected in the coming months. So for now I’m still with the Bounty Hunters. Plus,” she leans in to whisper, “this will look good on my resume.” The two giggle before Y/n drifts her gaze to the boggling gazes in front of her. “Oh! I’m sorry for being so rude. I’m Y/n L/n,” extending her hand to the first person who’s name tag read Fitch, Y/n added, “But you can call me Barbie.”

“Barbie,” the blonde holding a pool cue repeated like a question, “like the toy Barbie?” Nat chuckled, throwing an arm around her friend after she was done shaking everyone’s hand as they introduced themselves.

“Fellas, if there is anyone who is a life sized version of Barbie, it’s this one right here.”

“Now, Phee…” Y/n’s tone was that of, ‘Don’t start.’

“It’s true,” the pilot defended. “Not only is she Commander Y/n ‘Barbie’ L/n,” jaws drop, “but she’s Professor and Doctor L/n.” The jaws hit the floor, “On top of founder, creative director and CEO of ‘Dream’s Closet,’” Javy makes a sound, familiar with the brand, “Emmy nominated actress,” Fanboy chokes on his water, “Olympic Gold Medalist and soon to be astronaut for the Artemis program.” By now all the guys are on the verge of losing their minds.

Bob rapidly blinks, “uh—.”

“Now I’m not an astronaut yet,” Y/n points out, “I’m a candidate for one.” Nat scoffs lightly.

“They’d be stupid not to pick you, Barb,” she then slaps her side, turning back to the guys, “Oh and how could I forget Broadway, Vogue, and the Daytona 500.”

“Daytona 500!?” Payback practically screeches.

“You were on Broadway?”

“—featured on Vogue—?!”

“Wait a minute I recognize you from Star Trek!”

“—How in the hell—.”

“Guys, guys!” Y/n laughs with her hands slightly raised, “Please, one at a time.” They were in for a long night of questions and story times. And just like Nat was years prior when she first roomed with Y/n at Top Gun, the officers were in complete amazement over the woman in front of them. Never had they met anyone like her.

“Wow,” Jake whistled once she finished bringing them up to date on her most recent careers. “You really are a real-life Barbie.”

“Shhhh,” a finger went to her lips, followed by a wink, “don’t tell Mattel.”

And thus the dagger squad was formed. Two and half weeks of hell bearing training preceding a face-with-death mission brings people closer. Every morning Y/n arrived at the hangar to a chorus of “Hi, Barbie.”

She waved at Reuben, “Hi Payback.”

“Hey there, Barbie Girl,” Javy threw her a peace sign.

“Hiya, Coyote!”

“Good morning, Barbie,” Rooster tipped his hat.

“Mornin’, Rooster.”

“Hi, Barbie!” “Hi, Barbie!” Her favorite duo harmonized.

“Hi, Bob! Hi, Phee!”

And for some closer than others….

“You know I was thinking,” Jake commented, taking Y/n’s hand before leading her to the pottery class he signed them up for. Every Friday night was reserved for date night. Dinner and a movie. Walk on the beach. Spending $20 worth of quarters at an arcade. Attending a comedy show. Paint and sip. Following the successful mission, Jake and Y/n hit it off and began seeing each other.

“Famous last words.”

“It’s not bad,” a chuckle left his lips, stopping at the door. “I just thought it was funny. You know how you’re basically Barbie?” His cheeky smile resulted in her mirroring it.

“Yessss.”

“This means I’m pretty much your Ken, right?” The question makes the woman visible ‘awe’. Jake ruffles a hand through his hair and gives his best blue steel, “we kinda look alike. Don’t you think?”

Laughing, Y/n kisses his cheek, “I mean…name a more iconic duo than Barbie and Ken.”

“Barbie and Hangman?”

“Exactly.” It was safe to assume what their Halloween costumes were going to be.

Time went on, missions were run. And after a year of anticipation—though it felt like forever, it was finally announced in 2020 Y/n would be one of the astronauts selected to be part of NASA’s Artemis program launching in 2024.

Making Y/n the first woman to go to the moon.

The call came in from a restricted number when they were in a meeting, and knowing she was to expect a call within the month everyone quickly shut up so the pilot could answer.

She excused herself to leave the room, staying in front of the window so the team could see her. Throughout the conversation Y/n’s expression remained neutral to the point none had a clue whether the news was good or bad. Only when she reentered the room did they get the answer.

“I’m going to the moon!!!”

“Ahhh!!!!” The team exploded in an array of cheers, Y/n jumping up and down, careful not to drop her phone that was in her hands when Jake lifted her in his arms.

“I’m so fucking proud of you!” Despite being unauthorized to show pda in uniform, Jake gave her a big kiss on the lips, not caring who saw. “You are the most exceptional human being on this planet.”

“Jake,” tears welled in her eyes, which he kissed away. Her heart filled with warmth and gratitude. Feeling on top of the world with her closest friends supporting her.

Once all calmed down and they finished the meeting, Mickey jumped from his seat, “Come on Barbie, let’s go party!” Everyone sped to the Hard Deck to celebrate the news. Mav bought the first round, followed by Payback.

“Guys you don’t have to do all that,” Y/n said once she realized they all agreed to buy her drinks for the night.

“We want to,” Nat tapped her beer with Y/n’s cocktail glass, the guys voicing agreements. “For years you’ve been dreaming about this and it’s finally happening. Your hard work is paying off and we want to celebrate—show you we love and appreciate you, Barbie.”

Y/n fought back tears, never afraid to show her emotions. Some may find it childish or thinned skin, but to Y/n that was what being human was all about. “I love you guys.”

“We love you!” The voices echoed together.

The night had been going well with the squad hanging out by the pool tables like they usually did when Y/n approached the bar to pick up the next round Mickey was paying for. Not paying attention to those beside her, she smiled at Penny and repeated the order before waiting patiently.

But what’s a night at a bar without someone who lacks boundaries.

“You must be the one they call Barbie,” a voice says, flirtation seeping through the words. Glancing to her right, Y/n recognizes a gentleman from the flight line whose name she could not recall. “You’re quite the talk around base. In fact, weren’t you in some Hollywood blockbuster?”

“Yes,” she politely responds, keeping the answer short. Though she was known to be a sweetheart and kindhearted to anyone she met, Y/n could tell where the interaction was heading toward and did not feel comfortable entertaining it any further. “A long time ago.”

“I’m Lieutenant Paul Billings,” he extended his hand, and she immediately clocked he was trying to show off his rank. ‘Boy he’s in for a treat.’

Not wanting to make a scene, she accepts the handshake. “Commander Y/n L/n,” there was emphasis on the Commander, displaying the woman was of higher rank and therefore a silent warning to Billings to not cross a line.

There was a flash of surprise on his face. Y/n held back an amused laugh, ‘guess you didn’t hear everything.’

“Something the matter, Lieutenant?”

“No,” he brushes it off, “Nothing. Say,” he nods to the bar, “can I buy you a drink.” Did he not just hear her order a round for the people she came with?

“That’s kind of you,” she starts just as Penny arrives with a try full of cold beers and her usual cocktail. “But I’m all set, thank you.” Hands moving to take the tray, she jumps slightly at the feeling of his own coming to her wrist.

“What about lunch this week?”

“I’m sorry but I am spoken for, Lieutenant,” removing his hold, Y/n takes a step away.

Now Paul had lost his reasonable composure. Scoffing, he says, “What? Am I not enough for you?” The question results in her raising a brow.

“I beg your pardon?”

He makes a face, “You think because you’ve done all these careers and occupations that you’re better than the average person? I’m not a pilot and an actor or researching the cure for cancer while creating a documentary series,” venom seeps through his tone, obviously depicting his jealousy, “Basic is not up to your standards, so you have to throw our failures in our face as if we don’t already know.”

By now a crowd has formed. Jake started moving the second he noticed Billings etching too close to his girl, followed by Nat and the others who were ready to back him up. Behind the bar, Penny was fixing to ring the bell until being stopped by Y/n’s wave of the hand.

“Are you done?”

Paul’s expression was that of, “what?” No audible response was voiced therefore Y/n continued.

“Okay, I’m gonna go ahead and say this, Paul,” Y/n drops her shoulder. The change in body language let Jake and her friends know she wasn’t taking anything that the man said personally. “I know I should be offended by your insults and insinuations, but the truth is I’m not.” A small smile forms on her lips, “I don’t view myself higher than anyone because of what I accomplished. The only person I do that to, is myself—because I don’t have to prove to no one but me that I am capable of achieving what I set my mind to. And yeah,” a light chuckle escapes, “I’ve set my mind to a lot of things—way more than the average person. But that doesn’t mean you or anyone else can’t do the same.”

Pausing Y/n takes a breath before exhaling, “You look at me, and hate the way it makes you view yourself. Makes you believe you’re a failure because you didn’t follow the path you hoped to make for yourself.” Paul’s expression shifts to one of solemnity, like he was thinking of his younger self who had dreams and aspirations. Mourning what could have been.

It made Y/n sad for him. Empathetic despite him attacking her. “One thing I’ve learned over the years…is time is what you make of it. Life is about taking risks. You can still set out to do whatever it is you wish, as long as you’re committing to taking the risk no matter how scary it is. Sure you’ll find obstacles and it’ll feel like the whole world is against you. But determination will guide you through the walls, and you will be successful so that you can look back and think, ‘it was worth it.’ As cliche as it sounds,” she couldn’t hold back a laugh, “Barbie isn’t a person or an object you can obtain. Barbie is a mindset. And you have to unlock it in your own way, Paul.”

It was so quiet in the building, a pin could drop and everyone would hear it. Their looks of awe, admiration, and even newfound motivation by Y/n’s speech. Impressed by how classy she handled what very well could have been a scream match between rival squadrons.

Behind Billings the Dagger squad stood with proud smirks at their friend. Especially Jake, who caught Y/n’s eyes and threw her a wink. Nat gave the woman a salute, a silent gesture to say, ‘you inspire me everyday.’

And Billings? Well he was at a loss for words.

Patting his shoulder, Y/n grabbed the tray of drinks, “I wish you luck, Paul.” Thanking Penny, who gave her a proud nod and replied, “this ones on the house,” Y/n returned to her friends where she was met with a sweet kiss from Jake, claps on the back and “You go girl!” “Tell them who’s boss.” “Damn, you made me wanna go out there and live life the way I should.”

“What’s stopping you, Javy?” she handed him a beer, “the world is your playground.”

A couple hours later it was time to call it a night. Hugs went around, promises to meet up the following night and tabs were closed.

On their way out, Jake dropped a kiss to Y/n forehead, pulling her close to him as he led her to the door of the parking lot, “So what’s next for you, doll? You’ve proved you can be anything and anyone you chose to be,” he grins at her, “What will you set your mind to now after space?”

“First, I want to write a book—I think that’s something a lot have been waiting for me to do. Afterwards, well, I’ll have to wait a couple more years, but,” The corner of Y/n’s lips lift up before flashing a dazzling smile, “I’m thinking….the Oval Office is in need of a makeover. Don’t you think?”

Then, before he could answer, Y/n turns her head in the opposite direction as if she’s trying to find a hidden camera. Makes eye contact with you, the reader, winking before turning back to Jake where she sets off on her next adventure.

…………….

TGM Tag List: @avaleineandafryingpan @caitsymichelle13 @poppyalice2001 @cutelittlepotatofry @luckyladycreator2 @americaarse @elenavampire21 @back-tooo-black @wildellaa @artemissunn @pinkpantheris

[koriandrprincessoftamaran]

I get it

E/riel’s have been disappointed & shook since the BC.

I understand there are aggressive shippers out there on all sides with ✨ ZERO ✨ emotional intelligence & can’t help themselves from being actual villains.

All that to say, the biggest difference between Elriel v. Gwynriel/Elucien is we do actually use canon with complete context & build upon that. Canon from multiple series most times. We’ve kept up with the story.. We actually understand the narrative THE AUTHOR is wanting to convey. It’s both.. iykyk

If Elriel’s actually follow cannon you’ll end up with chosen love (if Elain even gives him a chance after that BC), their powers don’t sing or dance for the other, Elain has a bond trailing her forever, & Az leaves Elain for his mate when his bond snaps (bc it’s canon he wants a mate bond. He straight up says he’s envious of RHYS & CASSIAN. Az, quite literally, waited 500 years for a MATING BOND to snap with Mor.).

It’s clear y’all don’t understand that Elain’s treatment of Lucien is NOT unique to Lucien as a character. She’d be treating Az the same way if that bond snapped in Hybern, the same way y’all don’t understand that Azriel’s visceral longing for a mate is NOT unique to Elain as a character.. the same way y’all don’t realize that if Lucien never said anything, y’all wouldn’t have your favorite scene of them sitting in the garden.

I’ve seen a few post lately saying we’ve read too many fanfics, have confused cannon, & that we’re envious of Elriel… that’s what’s prompted this rant lol… This take is rich coming from the ship that had fics with Azriel’s shadows playing/DANCING for Elain, only for that dream to be drowned in a muddy grave in chapter 60 & in the BC of ACOSF.. yet y’all still are out here trying to explain that away or try to spin it as a positive… An Elriel shipper had an artist commission them as Eric & Ariel. At first I thought that commission was supposed to be an uno reverse of irony & apparently it’s not, it was actually for Elriel month & intended to only have one level of irony… Who’s really envious & confusing canon here?

Never seen an Elucien post saying “Darn, I wish Lucien’s power didn’t come out when he was trying to get to Elain, I wish his power was absent around her like Az’s shadows. Shoot, I really wish Lucien didn’t give Elain incredibly thoughtful gifts for solstice & ask Fayre multiple questions about Elain so he could know her as a person. Really wish he didn’t fight his way through a battle field just to see Elain. Actually, I just wish Lucien didn’t think of Elain’s well being at all, he should’ve NEVER thought about her still not eating, how thin she was, & how much that look in her eyes worried him.”

Never seen a Gwynriel post saying “Aw man, I wish Azriel didn’t notice how Gwyn’s freckles crinkle on her nose when she smirks & I wish he didn’t bait her into a challenge like he did with the obstacle course. I really freaking hate that his shadows danced with Gwyn after we got direct confirmation they don’t do that for Elain. Darn, really wish Az thought of his hands tainting Gwyn when we got his PoV.”

It’s absolutely hilarious that they’ll try it when I have YET so see an Elucien proof of ship post that isn’t straight from the books (with the complete context of the quote) & have it not support the overarching narrative THE AUTHOR is wanting to convey regarding a fated mate.. I just.. y’all, it’s okay to be wrong.

If I need to spell it out for you, the overarching theme is ✨ like calls to like ✨ & the mating bond transcends all… I’d hope we all know this as we’ve had to read that saying 832 times & have 832 examples of mates CHOOSING to accept the bond after getting to know them & healing.

We speak with 100% conviction bc it’s OBVIOUS! Elucien’s have been nothing but validated by SJM each time she released a book building more tension for Elucien to explore.. ACOSF was 100% validation for her Elucien’s.. I see Elriel theories & posts all the time bc I follow the Azriel tags. I don’t engage unless the Elriel tag is missing bc I won’t hop on a post that’s obviously for their discussion & rants. Tho, when I do go snoop, I have never seen a Elriel theory or take that can’t be disproven BY THE BOOKS aka THE AUTHOR..

I get it

We’ve all waiting YEARS for SJM to finish a series & we want to see our characters HEA.

I have ✨ ZERO ✨ problem with yall shipping Elriel, it’s just the fact y’all still scream that “your book” is next.. Sweetheart, there’s no book… & it’s that y’all copy & paste Elucien/Gwynriel characteristics & dynamics onto your ship. Like, yall do realize the depth of irony you put yourselves in every.. single.. time?

Just enjoy your side of the fandom & understand that the ship YOU WANT can ONLY be achieved through fanfics or realize that your ship is actually just a pick’N’choose of Elucien & Gwynriel.

I’m sorry that I’m not sorry for considering y’all a joke at this point in the maasverse. Every Elriel take or “proof” I see ends with me laughing my ass off, bc it’s comedic gold the amount of hoops y’all need to jump through. Realistically, only thing Elucien’s & Gwynriel’s need to do is just sit back & wait. Because on this day of May 6th, 2024, we should know that something greater than the cauldron chooses mates, Elain & Lucien are STILL CONFIRMED TO BE MATES, Elain has yet to have an on page conversation with Lucien discussing the future of their bond, Azriel’s shadows still ONLY dance for Gwyn or Azriel, & Az’s chest still ONLY sparked for Gwyn…

ALAIS, Elucien’s have been trying to help manage y’all’s expectations since 2016 & now have us Gwynriel’s to back them up bc it’s allllll in the books babes! (We can pull evidence from all of her series that supports SJM’s theme of like calls to like, mating language, & mating behaviors to show actual proof of our ship)

Honestly, it doesn’t matter how much y’all try to “I know you are, but what am I?” us to death, it still won’t change the fact that after the CoN scene & chapter 60 in ACOSF, y’all should’ve just taken that L with grace & dignity..

I know the best thing to do is not engage or add to the flame & that they bait, I just can’t help it. I work in the legal field & arguing a point is in my blood! 💀 I get it, don’t yuck others yums, it’s just so funny that we are still neck deep in discourse with them about mates getting a book together… in a contracted fated mates series..

[witchybitchy222]

Azriel x Reader | Satisfaction

You have a date and Azriel wishes it’d been with him. Basically.

Hey y’all! It’s been a long while and I apologize for not only that, but also the quality of this fic… I know it isn’t great, and full disclosure i am not sober while writing this and I did not edit or re read this. If I make a part two I promise it’ll be better LMAO

Before his boots had even touched down on the balcony at the House of Wind, Azriel had been dreaming of his bed. He’d worked nearly 24 hours straight and wanted nothing more than to drift off into oblivion for at least a day.

He’d thrown himself into any and all tasks he could find, trying in vain to keep his thoughts from wandering to you.

Azriel had been yearning for you for well over a century now, and your introverted and private personality meant although he’d known you’d been with other people during the 150 years you’d known each other, he never had to hear about it and therefore never had to go through the pain of thinking about it.

Now, however, you’d decided to start seriously dating and he felt like he was going insane.

You’d been on a few dates recently with the same male, always coming home with a smile, always aughing and blushing with the other females at training as they teased you about him. It was devastating.

Yesterday, you’d all been in the sitting room after dinner, drinking Rhys’s wine and laughing at whatever dumb thing Cassian had done that day, when Mor brought up him.

Azriel had never hated a name like he now hated the name Ian. Ian. The male who had all of your attention as of late.

He silently cursed Mor and her big ass mouth for mentioning your upcoming date. You’d been sitting next to him at the time and he was shamelessly basking in the light of your undivided attention.

“You know,” the blonde had said, “you’ve been seeing each other for three weeks, I think it’s about time you fucked.”

You’d gone beet red at the mention, slowly turning toward Mor with a look that was nothing short of mortified.

“Oh come on,” she’d laughed, looking from your distressed face to Nesta and Cassian barely containing their amusement, “you can’t act like you weren’t thinking it already”

“Maybe! But I wasn’t about to announce it to the whole room!” You’d hissed in her direction as Nesta and Cassian let out their laughter.

Azriel had gone completely still at your admission, his ears ringing and mind swirling with the thought of you touching and being touched by another male. His sudden possessiveness was down right shameful. You’d never seen him as anything but a friend, and he’d be out of his mind to risk that friendship. He had no claim to you and no reason to feel so sick at the thought of you and someone else.

That’s why, as soon as the opportunity presented itself, Azriel had done what he’d always done when his feelings got out of control. He’d isolated himself and focused on what he did best, his work.

Azriel was walking down the hallway to his room when he heard the sounds of laughter coming from the kitchen, knowing immediately that as hard as he’d tried to avoid hearing about your date with Ian, he’d walked right into your post-date debrief with Mor.

“… it can’t have been that bad.” The blonde’s feathery voice floated out, and Azriel stopped dead in his tracks.

He knew better than to eavesdrop on his friends. There was a reason he kept his shadows reigned in at home, he’d heard way too much coming from Cassian and Nesta’s room to ever want to know everything that was going on in that house.

But this time, he just couldn’t help himself.

“It was… boring.”

“Ouch!” Mor cried “that’s probably the worst thing you can say about sex.”

Azriel tensed, now smelling the obvious scent of sex and wine in the air. This was a literal nightmare.

“It wasn’t really sex, just… hand… stuff”

He could practically see your blush as your voice trailed off in embarrassment.

“Still, you shouldn’t be bored when someone is touching you.”

“Well I was. And now I’m all… frazzled. And unsatisfied.”

“ you mean horny”

Azriel could imagine you rolling your eyes at that, cheeks still delightfully pink.

“Fine, Mor. I’m horny.”

Hearing those words come out of your mouth got Azriel more worked up than he’d ever admit, and he decided it was time to stop lingering in the hall and get the rest he needed before he did something foolish.

He readied himself for bed methodically, willing himself not to think any more about you and your current aroused state.

Despite the bone-deep exhaustion he was feeling, sleep wouldn’t come. Azriel lay staring at the ceiling for nearly an hour before giving in and sliding his hand under the covers and palming his already throbbing cock.

He closed his eyes and let his mind wander where it always did, to you. He thought of how that perfect pink blush would look on your face as he kissed and licked his way down your body, squeezing and nipping your skin as he worked his way to your core, he thought of all the ways he would make sure you were more than satisfied. He thought of how your lips would feel wrapped around his cock, sucking and licking as you stared up him through your lashes, and it wasn’t long before Azriel was coming undone.

He lay in bed after, and didn’t try to curb his thoughts, allowing himself to fall asleep thinking of you wrapped in his arms.

[gingerjunhan]

boyfriend headcannons - goo gunil

☆彡 I felt burnt out after working on an essay all day, so what did I do? Went to my dorm and wrote some more! I’ve seen other blogs do little series like this with groups, so I wanted to give it a try! I hope you all enjoy!

word count: 777 | pronouns used: they/them | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: reader is called “beautiful,” cringe moments /pos, swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of death (in a joking way), my delulu thoughts, all caps, lmk if I missed anything else!

next member →

Gunil strikes me as they type of boyfriend that would try to make your life feel like a rom-com

he definitely strikes me as one of the more romantic ones in the group, but probably in a more goofy way than Jungsu or Seungmin would be (but more on that later)

yes he’s buying you flowers every time he passes a flower stand

yes he leaves those cheesy little notes about how beautiful and perfect you are in your lunch that you take to school or work

yes he reminds you every day that you’re quite literally the light of his life and he wouldn’t be the same person without you

but I truly believe this man can get weird

like, very very strange

in the most endearing way… he’s cringe

let’s unpack that

starting off strong:

“Good morning sunshine!”

some find that cringe, but I’m kicking my feet so 🧍🏻‍♀️

the pet names… oh god the pet names

I know I have a whole fic on this topic already but I feel the need to say more for Gunil

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “sweetums”

“precious”

I’m sorry but he gives me “bubs”/“bubby” vibes

listen I don’t hate that one as much as other people okay hear me out

“angel” probably happens on rare occasions

I could go on

he may be cringe but he is free!

but it’s okay because you totally call him silly names back

you love him no matter what

you know who else loves him?

your parents

he’s shaking hands and being overly friendly, and your parents are eating it up!!!!

let's say you bring him over for dinner:

“You have such a lovely home!”

“Do you need help with anything? I can set the table!”

“The meal was amazing. (Y/N) clearly didn’t get their cooking skills from you!”

“Gunil what the hell-“

the next time your parents invite him over he definitely shows up with dessert, wine, a side dish, something

he 100% gets the parental stamp of approval 👍🏻

okay I’m sorry but we need to talk about Gunil and intimacy keeping it G y’all c’mon now

he :(( is the sweetest :(((( ever :(

he knows he’s strong so he tries to be so gentle with you

if you want him to hold you tight he absolutely will

but Gunil strikes me as a soft intimacy type of guy!!

soft, calming, long hugs

sweet compliments whispered between you during a cuddle secession

cuddle secessions :(

if he doesn’t cuddle with you before bed he literally acts like he’s on the brink of death

gently holding your hand at almost all times

like I’ve said, I think Gunil likes PDA

so he’s got a grip on your hand at all times in public

I also think that Gunil would be the type to wash your hair for you

I’m melting right now

imagine it like,,,, oh my god

Gunil knows you’ve been stressed and he can see how hard you’re working and how much the stress is affecting you so he offers to help you relax

he runs a nice bath for you

lights a few candles

and then if you’re comfortable with it he’s right by your side, absolutely pampering you and washing your hair :(

can we tell that he’s been bias wrecking me really really hard lately? yes? okay

but these gentle moments don’t last forever

he’s you’re hype man all the time every day

“You look so good baby! I love your outfit today! C’mon, give me a spin- OH MY GOSH youlooksogood!”

gives you those hugs where he gets really excited and picks you up and spins you in circles

Gunil definitely gives me the vibe that he would totally put his full body weight on you if you wanted him to

just *plop*

okay okay so we all know how Gunil is the only member of xh who can drive yes?

do you think he like,, does the thing? 🤭 when he puts the car in reverse? 🤭 because guys I think he does 🤭

I’m a firm believer in the fact that Gunil would quite literally be the most perfect man on the face of the earth (totally unbiased opinion!)

he always encourages you to try new things- even if they scare you- and always reach for your goals!!

he’s so supportive and full of love for you and he’s gonna be by your side every step of the way and MAN I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH—

final closing thought but imagine sitting on his lap while he teaches you how to play drums EEE okay I need to stop

[ms-cartoon]

a

Seen the few sneak peaks of some upcoming episodes of HB. We might meet Moxxie’s family (mainly his father). Sorry if I’m being nitpicky, but I was kinda expecting his father to be a little bit different from his son, as well as have a different voice. It’s like he’s a literal clone of Moxxie but slightly taller with a deeper and cunning tone in his voice. And from what I’ve heard, he’s supposed to be a mobster or just apart of some kind of dangerous gang (correct me if I’m wrong). So yeah, I think his appearance should be a little bit different, more tough if anything.

Blitzo stays an a**hole to his co-workers I see. Even after that DeEp and HeArTwArMiNg conversation, he had with Moxxie back in season 1 ep 6 (Which didn’t hit deep at all). You think that after he humiliated himself in episode 7, he’d dial it back with his behavior. But I guess Viv can’t have a comedy without someone unnecessarily being a jerk.

We finally get to hear Andre’s voice. He actually sounded exactly how I imagined; almost deep and haughty. I guess it’s made clear that he and Stella have a good relationship. I’ve seen some comics that show that Andre was possibly very mean to Stella during her childhood which probably would explain her behavior and why she acts so cynically. 

He and Stella are having a discussion with Stolas, and Andre brings up that Stella deserves something since Stolas cheated on her?? Which makes no sense to me?? Cuz, yes, Stolas did cheat, but why would Stella even care?!! The show already made it clear that she never even liked Stolas from the start. She didn’t even like being married to him and was only throwing fits and getting him killed simply because she was petty and liked tormenting him. What exactly does Andre and Stella hope to gain from this anyway? Neither of these two even out-rank Stolas. And what exactly has the divorce done that caused any harm to the Goetia’s. When Stella confronted Stolas, she made it seem like the divorce was gonna be a huge issue, but as far as I know... it did nothing. And they already had Octavia who’s in her late-teens, so what’s the threat here??

If they’re gonna keep bringing up the cheating, then maybe they shouldn’t have retconned Stella as a character and kept it to where she is only pissed about the affair. Maybe not have her be an evil b*tch since birth and hate Stolas for whatever reason?

Idk man!! Make it make sense!!!

We also finally get to see Barbie, Blitzo’s sister. I thought those two had a decent sibling relationship as most of us did, but it turns out... those two had a falling out as well. Barbie says, and I quote “Come on, Blitzo! Haven’t you f*cked up my life enough already??”

Jeezus!! Another one?? 

First, it was Fizz, then Verosika, and now his own sister!!? I mean, it’s expected, cuz Blitzo is an a** and he definitely deserves it, but is he seriously that much of a bad influence he screwed up his own sister’s life? Like, is she just over-exaggerating it?? What did he do that was so screwed up, she started to despise him? Hopefully, she won’t be like Verosika or even Stella; just straight-up petty and b*tchy for no reason. I know I’m wrong though.

Also, I see that she and Moxxie are fighting... wonder what that’s about. Probably something dumb.

And I also see that Blitzo and Fizz are having a talk. Not sure what it’s about. It was only a few seconds of Fizz talking. But from what I can assume, they might be discussing their relationship as friends (or ex-friends), maybe having a slight argument? Don’t know if those two are ever gonna reconcile in the end. All I know is that this kind of arc should’ve been explored way before we got into Stolas’s backstory with Blitzo (which we clearly don’t give the slightest sh*t about.) What happened with Fizz and Blitzo that caused the two to split up seems way more interesting than how Stolas and Blitzo met.

Here’s another thing that caught my eye (and y’all this one’s my favorite to laugh at). Stolas is shown being kidnapped by Striker, tied up n all, and even stabbed with a dagger!?

.......

I’m sorry, but are we just gonna forget that Stolas is a POWERFUL FREAKIN’ DEMON??? The same guy that can do this -

And this -

And even turn into THIS -

..... Like, are we sure he’s more powerful than Alastor??? What’s the point of him being a powerful demon prince if all he’s useful for is being a damsel in distress??? Less than 3 times Stolas is shown to be powerful when the plot says so, which is almost NEVER!!! It’s irritating!

Ugh! I just know I’m gonna go through hell watching this (no pun intended). And I’ve already seen the last few recent leaks to these episodes. This just adds on to the ridiculous bull.

[callsign-rogueone]

Hi sweet girl! I don’t feel like I’ve talked to you much lately, so I’m just checking in. Hope you’re doing well!

I’ve seen your posts where you’ve been sharing wips and discussing your fics. It sounds like we’re going to get some Bodhi and Darling soon which is really exciting! And I can’t wait to find out more about Sawyer and Peach 💕 you’re always giving us snippets of the couples you know we’re most excited about, but is there anything you’re particularly excited to share?

-fw-gt

ahh hi love!! I missed u 🥺💗

Bodhi and Darling should hopefully be coming tomorrow or Friday!! I won’t tease that too much, because I want it to be as unexpected for y’all as it is for them, hehe.

but I have some Sawyer and Peach for ya!! I’m obsessed with them. the cutest lil babies ever. I have their whole story outlined and now I just need to make it happen.

some snips, in no particular order:

one:

Forget the fire-breathing beast standing in front of you; the three human men approaching are infinitely more terrifying, capable of much more intricate and abject cruelty than any being on this planet.

two:

“Sawyer…” you whisper, a warning that you’re getting close to something you can’t ever come back from.

He ignores it.

three:

“I have to say, slipping a love letter under my door was a little above and beyond,” you laugh. “How did you know which room was mine?”

He blinks at you, confused. “What letter?”

+ some hints in emoji form:

🍪🐴💫🗡💅🩹🌼🤠🙏🛁

that’s it, because I would literally give it all away if I didn’t rein it in here and exercise some self control — I want some of it to still be a surprise lol

love ya 💗 hope you’re doing well 🥰

[tailorvizsla]

Alright, Tailor, Sith Obi-Wan has invaded and demands more attention. After your encounter with him, you are determined to show him how good and loyal you can be. You take on any project you can that might catch his notice, and when an opportunity to transfer to a position in his main division is announced, you eagerly apply. You make it to the interview round where there is a panel of superior officers and Lord Kenobi himself. You're very prepared and ready to show him how qualified you are. Yet, as soon as those golden eyes lock onto yours, your mind is flooded with images of him and you doing every dirty act you can imagine. You try to focus and answer the questions as best as you can, but each time you look at him, a new filthy scenario comes to mind. At least Lord Kenobi looks amused, and you can only wonder what he must think. The interview ends and you're crushed thinking you've blown you're only chance at working more closely with him.

Ugh OKAY look you can’t keep doing this to me my heart CANNOT take this! Here you go!

(the thot inbox is open fyi if y’all want to send some in!)

Your superiors have been raving about your work for weeks now. Reports? 100% accuracy. Your subordinates? All in line, and most of them even give you good reviews. Your inventory? Not a single nutri-cracker unaccounted for. You’ve been receiving so many positive remarks that you feel like you are literally glowing whenever you turn your data pad on. You’ve been sending money back to your elderly parents back home, and they’ve been taking good care of the rest of the family. You…you really do hope to retire soon, and go back to them. You just want to see them again.

You’re at your desk for another day of reading and filing paperwork when your pad buzzes. A frown crosses your face - you’ve silenced non-critical alerts. The only people who should be able to bypass that are much higher than you in the organization. Nervously, you turn it over and check it, hoping your superior won’t catch you reading messages

Your presence is required for an interview in conference room 19-562.1A at 3:00 PM. Do not be late.

You check the sender, but there’s nothing there except an official stamp from the Corps of Logistics. There’s a tap at your door.

“Lieutenant, reading messages? On the job?” your superior asks in a vaguely teasing tone and you put your pad down in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, sir,” you say, “I got a note saying that I’m scheduled for an interview at 3? Do you know anything about it?” They shake their head and you frown again.

“Who is it from?” they ask, coming around to your side of the desk.

“It’s a generic message,” you say, showing them the message. “But it’s on the executive floor…” They sigh.

“Well, either someone is really happy with you, or they’re really pissed at you.” You nod in response, and turn worried eyes up at your superior.

“If…anything happens…you’ll send my last check to my family, right?” They give you a mirthless smile and nod. “Your service has been exemplary thus far…we should be able to arrange that.”

You know what organization you work for and the dangers it brings. All it takes is one misinterpreted look and you could be thrown in prison. Or worse.

At 2:40 PM, you head out for your meeting. It’s a short elevator ride away, but if you’re late, you might as well shoot yourself and save them the trouble. You step out into the marble-clad atrium and then step through the ostentatious glass doors. A secretary at the desk gives you a look, their eyes sliding from your rank bar to your face.

“May I help you?” they ask, and you feel like you are being judged harshly by this random person. Still, you nod respectfully and give your name and rank. Then you add on, a bit unnecessarily, “I have an appointment, but I am not certain with whom. Only a generic stamp was used.” They look down at the pad and tilt their head. “Go take a seat. You will be seen shortly.” 

You murmur a hasty, polite thank you and sink down into one of the plush velvet chairs. You cross one leg over the other neatly, your hat in your lap, and your eyes focused on the wall in front of you. The entire room is decorated in harsh scarlets, golds, and white marble, and it looks atrocious. You wonder who committed the crime of decorating here. At least the window grants you a view of the beautiful city outside.

You’re being watched, of course, by the secretary and the numerous cameras around the place, undoubtedly looking for something. You keep as calm as you can. At precisely 3, the door opens. The secretary doesn’t look at you as you get to your feet and head in, following the droid. It leads you to yet another room, where the decor is tastefully done in earthy colors. You wait at the door, standing at attention, waiting for the person who had called you - 

“Sweetheart,” comes the familiar purr. Your body jerks in surprise and your pulse skyrockets. “Sir,” the reply falls automatically from your lips.

You can feel as he comes into the room, his electric presence brushing up against the corners of your mind. He sinks down in his chair and crosses one long, lean leg over the other. He rests his chin in his hand as he watches you. Like before, the presence is subtle, golden, as he tastes your mind. Once he’s satisfied, he gestures you forward. You stop just in front of him, hands at your sides as you stand at attention. 

“Your performance has been exemplary this quarter,” he says. “Were you thinking about having my cock, sweetheart? Or are there other reasons?”

You can’t stop yourself from thinking about your family still living in near-poverty back home, and you decide it’s best to be honest. It’s not like he doesn’t already know what you’re thinking.

“Having your cock would be nice, sir,” you say. “But I also have family back home. My brother…he wants to become an artist.” You cut yourself off from your rambling. Don’t be a distraction. He didn’t ask for you to elaborate. Lord Kenobi hums as he looks at the pad in his hands.

“Truly phenomenal work, sweetheart…perhaps it is time for your reward?” he asks, looking up at you. Pure heat fills you, and he gestures for you to sit down. He levitates another pad to you.

Position: Imperial Administrative Assistant, Level 7 Pay Grade: 7A - SRT5 Hours: Standard Travel: 25% of the month is typical, but may require longer stretches depending on circumstance. Clearance: 8-TN9 or Higher Qualifications: Recommendation from superior. Five years in administrative assistant position, specialization in diplomacy/negotiations… 

You frown in confusion. He watches you intently. The pay increase is mind-boggling.

“I’ve recommended you for a transfer,” he purrs. “Should you accept, you and I will be seeing each other far more frequently.”

You stare down at the pad for a moment, “Lord Kenobi, I am truly honored…however, I do not have these qualifications…and I am afraid I won’t be able to provide the same level of service I am providing in my current position. Will that be a problem?”

He gives you one of those soft, dangerous smiles. “That will be no issue. You will be taught all you need to know.”

At long last, you swallow down your anxiety, and ask, “If I pass the interview…who would I be working with?” He waves your comment off. “Do not concern yourself with that information. Your interview is at 4 PM.” You frown. “Tomorrow?” He gives you an annoyed look.

“Today,” he says curtly, and pure horror fills you.

“What? I haven’t prepared - my resume isn’t updated,” you babble out, “I don’t have recommendations, and I haven’t even had a chance to ask my references for permission to give their information out - sir, I - “ He waves you away. “You’ll be fine. You may go wait in the lobby for the interview.” 

Standing on shaking legs, you get to your feet and scuttle away. The secretary doesn’t give you a second look as you step out into the blazing red and gold hellscape in the lobby. You take a minute to try and center yourself - you’re being tested under pressure, that’s what they’re doing. They want to know you can handle last minute changes. Swallowing, you sit down and try to go over the questions you could still remember from your interview for your current position.

All too soon, you’re called back for the interview, and you step into the same room as before. You can see six much higher ranking individuals at a desk. Lord Kenobi sits at the head of the table, his golden eyes fixed on you. Oh, you’re fucked. So, so fucked. Your mouth is dry as Tattooine right now, and you’re pretty sure you’re shaking in your boots. You sit down at the end of the table by yourself.

The first few questions are standard - name, rank, how long you’ve been working at the Empire, and what your daily routine is like. As the nerves start to wear off, you feel a tiny bit more comfortable, and your death grip on your hat loosens. The Admiral asks your first landmine question, probably designed to test your diplomatic skill.

“Why did you apply for this position?” he asks, his nose curling slightly as he looks down at your profile, “You haven’t the qualifications.”

“I was recommended for this position, sir,” you say calmly. “I am aware I am unqualified, but it is my greatest hope that I can continue learning so that I may perform well, if I am chosen for this role.” 

- warmth engulfs you, and you’re spread out in a nest of soft, silken sheets and pillows. A warm, wet mouth covers yours as a hand squeezes your thigh. As your head falls back, you feel something probing at your folds, something warm and blunt and - 

You swallow and try to push the thought away as the others discuss something between themselves. You try to ignore the heat rising in your belly as another Admiral speaks.

“...and are you aware of what this position will entail, exactly?” she asks, a brow raised at you.

You recite the requirements back at them, and they share a look between themselves. They go back to muttering.

- a gasp falls from your lips as you dig your fingernails into someone’s back. His cock starts to inch inwards, spreading your slick walls open. He’s so, so thick it makes you squirm and whine, forcing you to gasp for air as your poor little pussy strains to take him all in - 

Oh no, not right now. Why is your brain misbehaving? You hope they can’t tell that you’re squirming in your chair as you try to remain calm.

“Lord Kenobi, I do not believe she is fully educated on what this position will entail,” the Admiral says carefully. “I think it would be…ethical…if we reiterate the requirements to her.”

Lord Kenobi gives you a small smirk.

- he finally seats himself all the way inside, drawing a short, soft cry from you. His teeth find your shoulder and he starts to move. As he pumps into your body, your sodden cunt makes the most obscene sounds, wet and loud and messy -

“She knows exactly what she will be doing if she chooses to work under me,” Lord Kenobi says.

With a rush, you realize that’s why he recommended you for this role. Pure heat fills you - this time, it’s all your own, and you gnaw on your lower lip. Boldly, you look him in the eye and ask the most important question you have for him.

“Would I be your slave, sir?” you ask. “Or will I be your equal?”

The others exchange a look as Lord Kenobi gives you a long look. You’re not going to be a toy to be tossed aside once he’s bored. If he really wants you in his bed, if he truly wishes to have you, he will have to be prepared to have all of you. And if he’s not prepared to give you that, you’re not sure you can fulfill that role in his life. Sith Lord or not, you will be treated with respect, and you will not settle for anything less. He smirks at you.

“You can never be my equal,” he says, and you know that’s true. You’re not a Sith lady, and you don’t have the same desire for conquest that he does. “But…you will never be a toy. You will be mine - body, mind, and soul. You will sit by my side, and only mine.”

“Does that go both ways, sir?” you dare to ask.

He laughs. 

“Come here, sweetheart,” he says, and you obey. You hope the Admirals can’t see the shaking of your legs, or how drenched the back of your pants are. Lord Kenobi pats his knee and you sink down, embarrassed of the wet spot you will undoubtedly leave on his linen pants. He tilts your face up to his and stares deeply into your eyes.

“You will serve me well,” he says.

“I’ll send the transfer orders,” one of the Admirals says. “You have chosen well, Lord Kenobi.”

“You may leave,” Lord Kenobi says to the Admirals. “I require privacy with my new assistant.”

[lilover131]

Clear Card Chapter 72 Analysis

Sorry for the delay y’all! Still dealing with some real life stuff, but I’m in a much better place emotionally! I’ll try to make sure I’m not so late next month!

In this chapter, not a lot actually physically happened, but we DID get answers, some of which I’m not sure how I feel about. Enjoy my “gif of the month” above (trademark from Cinzia. Hahahaha) and my thoughts below under the cut! I apologize again in advance for the crappy red page screenshots from youtube. I currently have no way to get good quality English scans, so this is how it’s gotta be for now! 

The color spread is GORGEOUS as always, but has a rather lonely and somber feeling to it. Sakura has an expression like she is empty and missing something, and maybe the ‘jewels’ in front of her represent the memories she has lost as a result of the timeline change. Beautiful, sparkling memories, and she absentmindedly reaches towards one with such a gentle looking cradle. The crystal she reaches for reminds me quite a bit actually of the crystals that actually showed memories in Clockland. I could be overthinking it, but honestly when you’ve read CLAMP mangas as long as I have, you find yourself doing it a lot. Hahahaha.

 The chapter itself starts off with Lilie and Sakura meeting in the dream world, right where we left off in the last chapter. Sakura remarks about how Lilie looks just like Akiho, and Lilie seems overjoyed by this. But of course she would be, she’s her mother! However, the tone shifts not long after when Sakura asks her if she knows Akiho, and the look on Lilie’s face is so painful. She’s clearly saddened to never know her own daughter, and to know in this timeline that she’s not even her daughter at all anymore must be heartwrenching. To make matters worse, this version of Lilie is still only a child, so it must have been so difficult for her growing up just knowing everything that would happen after. She probably had to grow up faster than most children, and especially with so much pressure from her clan on top of things!

Lilie explains that she had tried many times before to talk with Sakura directly, but she seemed to get mixed up in her premonitions instead and was unable to say anything. Flashes of dreams Sakura has had in the past show, such as the beginning where her key was being pulled, the dream with the dragon, and all of these were apparently intended to never have a cloaked figure at all. Every dream with a Cloaked Figure appearance was literally just Lilie trying to talk to Sakura. LOL. 

 We then finally get an answer to a big question, and that is regarding the Cloaked Figure Syaoran. Turns out Sakura was having a dream of Kaito pretending to be Syaoran, and Lilie got mixed up in this one too, so it blended together to make what we saw as Cloaked Figure Syaoran. I’m glad we have answers, but I’m also somewhat…frustrated? It feels awfully anticlimactic in the end and turned out to be a Lilie oopsie, but I’m also frustrated cuz’ I made like a BAJILLION THEORIES ABOUT THIS AND ALL OF THEM ARE WROOOONNGGGGG!!!! -huffs- I give up. Clearly trying to theorize about CLAMP series is futile and they will always, always trick you.

 -deep breath-

 I was kinda hoping for a slight Syaoran brainwashing for funsies and drama, but alas it seems that is not the sort of story CLAMP is going for, and that is all right. I have seen plenty of amazing Syaoran moments in Clear Card (WHICH WE GET TO SEE ANIMATED NOOOWW), so I really can’t complain.

 Lilie also clears up another question we’ve had by stating the cards Sakura made in the previous timeline no longer exist, but her connection to the Sakura cards are stronger than ever. She also mentions that the power of the forbidden magic can only rewrite history so far back and cannot go beyond the time the caster was born (aka Kaito). Because of this, there are parts of Lilie’s past he could not rewrite due to her being older than him. This is also why Lilie is reaching out to her at this age, since this is a time before Kaito is born and could not be touched by the magic.

 She tells Sakura that she has a message for her, and when asked if she’s able to see the future, she advises that she can, and even the future beyond her death. Sakura, being the caring person she is, seems worried about her. Surely she’s heard stories from Eriol about how tough it was for Clow to always see the future, and he never wanted that for Sakura. She asks Lilie if it hurts to always know what is to come, and Lilie, although seeming sad about it, has a absolutely beautiful response. “The things I can do…and the things I can’t…make me the person I am”.

 Honestly, what a wonderful thing to say. I feel like this can really be taken to heart for nearly all situations in life. You are you. Do what you can, and don’t distress over what you cannot. You are still you, and these are all pieces of the puzzle that makes you.

 Lilie then gets to brass tax and tells her exactly what she needs to hear. She tells her straight up that her memories and life have been rewritten. Sakura is obviously very surprised by this, and Lilie goes on to state that Kaito even mislead Momo into thinking his intention was to swap Sakura and Akiho (now I feel much less bad for thinking the same, considering even Momo was fooled, but it also confirms that this is exactly what CLAMP wanted us to believe). He deceived Momo so she would not know his true intention was to take on the artifact himself, because clearly she would’ve absolutely smacked the shit out of him and talked him out of it. Because Momo believed he intended to switch the girls, she tried to give hints to his ‘motives’, but because she too was deceived, she was off the mark in her warnings. Lilie even calls him an idiot basically in a whisper, and I just find this hilarious. He’s just going to be marked ‘idiot’ for eternity. But one thing Momo said still reigns true even though she was wrong about his intentions, and that is the question of “What is Happiness to you?”. Lilie tells her that her answer and the ‘other Alice by her side’, are one in the same. And we all know very well what this is about. Obviously happiness to Sakura and Akiho is to have the ones they love by their side, and dammit that includes Kaito!! Lilie confirms this by stating that what happiness could there possibly be in a world where the people you hold dear are gone (I’M LOOKING AT YOU KAITO).

 It's at this moment that the dream starts to break, and Lilie advises that she likely will not remember the conversation they had after she wakes due to the forbidden magic being able to reach her, however Lilie is safe due to existing in a time it cannot touch. Before Sakura is kicked out of the dream, Lilie tells her she believes in her, and goes on to elaborate the both of them, which includes Akiho.

 With that, Sakura wakes up in Syaoran’s arms, and he is clearly very worried about her. But one very interesting and telling thing is how Syaoran responds to her here. Sakura says “huh..?” and he says “Don’t you ‘huh’ me!”, which very much reminds me of the somewhat snarky Syaoran we knew and loved from the original series. 

Cinzia very graciously confirmed that the Japanese speech isn’t much different here, and that it has the same tone. So what this tells me is that Syaoran never actually changed at all. The version we have seen of him in Clear Card so far was him essentially constantly worried and trying his best to protect Sakura. But in this timeline, where none of this has happened, he is far more at ease and can be his true self, like Yue once spoke of. He mentioned Syaoran was always honest in his feelings and how he expressed them, and he has been hiding that. This is a flash of Syaoran’s true real self!! So to all the people who said they didn’t like Syaoran the way he is now and how he’s changed, I leave you with this.

 Sakura says she had a dream about someone who looked like Akiho, and even Syaoran teases her a bit and says something about a “sister complex”, and honestly I find that really funny. Syaoran legit thinks Sakura is just dreaming about her own twin sister. Hahahaha. But he quickly realizes this is different and that she might’ve had a premonition. Sakura states she can’t remember, but she  does remember that whatever it was that was said to her was important, not just for her, but for everyone. She seems determined, so I’m sure she’ll figure it out.

 The chapter ends there, and I think in the next chapter, it will likely have a lot more Akiho, perhaps something to do with the watch she’s been left by Kaito, and I think this will help trigger Sakura breaking through the forbidden magic. What happens from there, I have no idea…but it should be fun!

 Until next time!

[crazylittlejester]

Heyyyyyy how y’all doiiinnnggg…..

It’s been while, hey siri play “DEAD” by Melanie Martinez -

A) from that old post about what I would want to see in the fic: lwk I’m cool w/ whatever I put in (what I though was at the time) a prompt for like 500 words and did not think this far ahead 😭 lol I trust ur judgement on whatever gets added I’ll eat it up like those rlly yummy life saver mints

B) I’m back babyyyyyy the Ao3 curse works harder but I’m harder >:3

may or may not have almost died but that’s okay it keeps me on my toes. I have new medical insight on how to improve my whump 💪🤩😍

C) I’m abesolutely so sorry about that anon (ik I’m super late to the party) what they said was so out of line and I cannot think of what you could have even possibly done that would (unjustly) cause such a reaction?? People are assholes especially when they can abuse anonymousy online. I’m glad u seem to be doing ok 💜

D) I know i say this every time and blah blah blah but please make sure to not push urself over creating content and pleasing followers. I will (likely) not be dying anytime soon and I can wait as long as necessary for the Cia fic dude I make the prompt with the understanding that with you as the writer I would be meeting your needs/criteria for my silly little mentally ill twink to get sent through the meat grinder. Take as long as you need 💜

On a much less feely note:

E)

(No hate to you or anyone really who has this opinion)

Theory/hot take/opinion/etc:

Echoes of Wisdom (new game coming in sept) Zelda ≠ Fable (from SNES + game boy games)

Like, I get it, on a surface level it makes so much sense because the EOW game is in the same artsyle as the Links Awakening (remastered) game. Nintendo doesn’t really use the same artsyle with games (atleast since the N64) unless they are direct sequels, prequels, or otherwise linked (BOTW & AOC). New game but with the same artsyle as previous game? Obviously linked!

Except, no??? Here’s where that opinion doesn’t hold as strong:

the main peice of evidence here is that the Zelda in the trailers is the Zelda from OOT.

(I really wish I could put pictures as anon 😭)

Verbatim. That is her. She is wearing a pink dress, trapped in a pink crystal, while link fights and eventually cracks open said crystal. It’s hard to see the dress because of the crystal obscuring it, but in another clip (when the staff is first seen i believe) you can see her in the dress and it’s her.

Even if it’s not, it’s definitely not Fable.

There are two (?) versions of the Zelda’s that fall under “Fable”. one is in a blue dress (ALTTP) and one is in a white dress white a pink over apron-thingy. While its arguable that the crystal makes it look pink, or its too dark to see anything, ultimately the tabard is not the same and the top being two parts is not there, so no, its not Fable.

Which is really weird, because the Link is in fact the same link as the SNES + Gameboy (I call it the “Pixel Era”) Link. Brown Longsleeved undershirt + green sleeveless dress-tunic over it. Even weirder, he wield the hylian sheild. WHICH DID NOT EXIST BEFORE OOT. Again, not Pre-3D link.

It does exist in ALBW, meaning if you are into LU then it works with legend being the same person in all those games, but ALBW is canonically the “successor” to ALTTP

BUT GANON IS HERE?????? Hellooo????

(Fun fact: Gannon is what his pig/beast form is called while gannondorf is what his Gerudo form is called! :D)

Gannon only exists in the pixel Era games + ALBW. All of the 3d games use gannondorf. So this is such a weird thing to exist.

EVEN MORE CONFUSING, THE ZORA!?!??!?

If you don’t know what im referring to, for like literally 2-5 seconds there is a clip of the zora of this game. Ok, cool. Zelda game, with water, therefore there’s obviously gonna be zora.

(This is a “duh” moment for older fans but pls stick with me lol)

There are two versions of the zora: pre-OoT and post-OoT. TLDR; pre-OoT they look like horrifying fish monsters and try to kill you, Post-OoT they become hot and even get shipped with link in the later games. Hyrule historia (which is not the most reliable sometimes) explains it better but it has to do with the big Triple Timeline. The difference in zora design depends on which timeline you’re looking at, one of the timelines doesn’t have them at all.

So what’s so confusing? Is does the zora design not fit?

Yes!! You know why? BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO OF THEM. BOTH ZORA DESIGNS. IN THE SAME GAME. CLEARLY INTERACTING IN THE FIVE SECOND CLIP.

Also this was pointed out by my sibling: in the beginning, the hood long wears is eerily similar to the Hylian Hood in totk/botw. Later on in the trailer, my cousin pointed out a canon that looked “like it was zonai tech” but it was just a green cannon so tbh that’s more loose.

The Gaurd designs are also kinda weird to me? I can’t tie them back to any of the games bc of the weird helmet shape, and their uniforms look exactly like link’s first outfit in Hyrule warriors, though that seems unintentional.

Anyways. This game is. Something. I really don’t think it’s related to previous games (I hope not for the sake of lore holes it could tear up) but what we do know is:

- OoT Zelda has been taught Ctrl C + Ctrl V by magic yellow orb and uses a staff.

- Likely Takes place in the downfall timeline due to artstyle, the fact that the enemy zora exist, and the fact that Gannon is here in beast form

- atleast some inspiration from botw/Totk with the copying and open exploration mechanics

- there is maybe some alternate space/dimension bullshit from that one clip of Zelda moving blocks of water like she’s Moses

- takes place where the Hylian shield exists and therefore likely the story of a hero is still a thing

- takes place where BOTH ZORA meet and interact with eachother

This is driving me crazy. My dad says it’s the Zelda multiverse 😭

Sorry for the word vomit, I rlly needed to info dump ✌️

Your favorite void crawler,

Mandarin Warriors 🍊

OH MY GOD HEY, HI, I WAS GENUINELY WORRIED ABOUT YA

a. alskkddk okay 👍

b. oh my god I really hope that you’re doing okay dude, or at least that you’re feeling a bit better 🫶🫶🫶 sending hugs and love your way my guy

c. people sometimes suck and I considered turning off anons for a bit after that but i have too many wonderful anons and id hate to lose any of em because of one idiot

d. it’s going to be the next thing I put up when I come back from my so called ‘mental health break from writing’ 😭 (i literally can’t seem to stop writing, i am glued to my google docs 💔). Im not sure if you saw the post (and its totally okay if you didn’t, youve clearly been going through a lot and i genuinely hope that you’re okay) where I said part of why it’s takin so long js because I’m writing two separate versions of the fic because it’s heavy enough I feel it should be rated mature, but I’m making a ‘watered down version’ for people who were really waiting for this fic but dont wanna read anything rated higher than teen. I don’t write explicit things, but we’ve crossed the line from ‘implying things’ and into the ‘traumatic past events are being discussed’ zone and if im gonna write about trauma I’m gonna Write About Trauma, an’ yeah

i really hope you don’t die anytime soon anon, i don’t know what it is exactly that you just went through and you do not have to tell me, but i sincerely hope you’re doing okay, and if not okay, at least feeling better. I really was worried about ya 💜

and to yap about EoW:

IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THE HOOD AND THOUGHT OF THE ZONAI STUFF, IT REMINDED ME A LOT OF TOTK

i think itd be really cool if it was a new Link and Zelda. I love the like, art/animation style they chose, and I doubt nintendo is ever gonna tell us which Link this is 💀 but we can always have our theories 💔

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPIN, ITS WHAT THE YAP BOX IS FOR! FEEL FREE TO INFODUMP WHENEVER DUDE I LOVE IT HEAR IT, AND YOU SERIOUSLY HAD A LOT OF INTERESTING THINGS TO SAY

i know this is like the fourth time im saying this but again, I hope you’re alright. I missed ya, it’s good to hear from you again 💜

[stuckinapril]

hey girl… may I ask for advice? sorry to dump this on you, feel free to ignore of course! I just don‘t know where to put this right now and it‘s been eating at me for the past two months

I met a guy around 8 months ago and we instantly connected really intensely and even fell in love in a really short amount of time (obviously all of that was based on very brief interactions and didn‘t have anything to do with actual love but it was still nice and i felt like something could grow from it), however due to our personal circumstances we decided to be friends. The last time I saw him was 7 months ago. We ended up making out that night. The next morning he made it very clear he didnt want a relationship and i didn’t either. We kept texting every day and i asked to see him again but when we finally managed to find a day to hang out he would cancel the same day because he wasn‘t feeling well mentally (which I would never judge or question because I have my bad weeks too) but this happened like 5-6 times and I felt like he just didnt want to see me again, or at least it wasn’t important to him right now. I involuntarily pulled back from our texting relationship over the summer because of work but still it was always me except for one time who was asking to hang out. Then I started actually pulling back because I was hurt from him rejecting me all the time. At this point it’s not even just about the romantic feelings, I feel like we’re not even friends anymore. I feel stuck, I feel myself wanting to pull back and I feel stupid when he rejects me being nice to him (we always tease each other but he used to be more caring and accept care from me too). I want to be there for him and let him know that I‘m not going anywhere (because i’m not, i want him in my life) but at the same time i notice myself falling into an obsession because of him being so inconsisent. Do you think I can take a step back without losing him and abandoning our friendship entirely? I don‘t want to make a big thing out of it because I know he‘s been very busy working but then again it‘s not too much to want to see him once in 7 months and I made time for him when i was drowning in work. I wonder what happened or what has changed for him. I just don‘t know where to put all of this care that I have for him

reading your ask gave me deja vu bc i went through every single phase you’re describing w my ex. hell, i was going through it as late as october. your feelings are valid. your feelings are really valid and raw and i deeply relate to every single thing you’re saying. but that’s why i need to bluntly tell you—there is no future friendship (or relationship, for that matter) to be maintained with this man. just trust me on this. i went through the “maybe we could be friends!!” phase too. i so badly wanted him to stay in my life too. it didn’t work. it won’t work for you either. you need to go no contact. absolutely cut him out of your life. you will not move on any other way.

how do i know this? bc that’s the only thing that really, truly helped me. you’re going to feel withdrawals at first. it’s literally like a dopamine fix. the moment you remove him from your life, the chemicals in your brain will go crazy. they so badly crave the presence of this person. but is what he’s giving you even a presence? y’all have literally not seen each other for 7 months. imagine all the other guys you could have met in that time. imagine the opportunities lost. 7 billion people in this world, and you’re stuck fixating on this person who’s giving you breadcrumbs. literal breadcrumbs. it’s seriously time to consider you.

but this is not sustainable. it’s damaging. it’s hard to believe, but this man is neither the cause nor the solution to your pain. even if he were prevalent in your life, this would not fix the root issue—which is that so much of your happiness is attached to this person. you’re dependent on him. you can’t need a person. you can want them, but you can never need them. you need to detach and find yourself. that’s what i had to do as well. back when i was going through the thick of my breakup, it seemed crazy to me not to have him in my life. i genuinely thought he enriched it. but if he was truly the only source of enrichment, did that mean i was living a full life to begin with? a person shouldn’t be the only reason i find my days exciting. i should be the only one responsible for my emotions—and if a person walks out, i should be fine. it shouldn’t consume me. that’s not healthy. that’s a problem.

i reiterate: it wouldn’t even matter if he was the best companion you could’ve asked for. the simple fact of the matter is you’re relying way, way too much on another person for happiness and fulfillment. this is something you need to go through alone.

you need to cut him off. i was in denial about this too. you may be for a while as well. but all keeping him in your life, in any capacity, will do is hurt you. this is not the behavior of a man who cares or wants to be helped. and people simply can’t be fixed. only they can give themselves the permission to be better. your only option—for the sake of you—is to walk out, endure the pain, grow from it, and fulfill yourself without needing someone else. i swear. i have been there so many times. that’s the only thing that will help.

[constantvariations]

V9C7

I am postponing writing a very delicious scene so y’all better appreciate this ;P

Post Ep: these last 3 eps are going to be carrying so much weight but at least we might be working towards Ruby’s decaying arc

Okay, totally random thought while I was watching the OP (I always watch OPs unless they’re particularly awful. It’s a compulsion idk) but I think it’d be hella cool if the blacksmith was Alyx. Whether the real Alyx isn’t the one who made it out or she came back for whatever reason (not dying ever is appealing to some, I hear), it’d be a neat twist

I’m not into 3d animation, so I can’t say a whole lot, but are the textures supposed to be this... weird? Last episode I said Jaune’s house looked like a ps2 game and it just keeps going

“I’m late! I’m late!” Okay, that’s a decent Alice in Wonderland nod. Not overdone or wink wonked, which can be annoying to those who don’t know the joke (man, I should watch Shrek again. The first two movies are masterpieces)

Wait, was that a dammit? Jaune canonically swears now. Huh

“Right on time.” It’s obviously not a time loop so what does this mean? Did the time fruit do more than just send him back in time but gave him even more of a spotlight in Wonderland? He’s a rusted knight, he’s the white rabbit, he’s murbling like he’s the mad hatter; what next, is he gonna be Jesus?

“Hurry! People are counting on us.” Uhhh people counted on you to fight the jabberwock and y’all bailed like frightened horses. I wouldn’t count on you with my fingers, much less my life

PAPER TOWNS MY BELOATHED

Okay, so we’re being hit yet again with the “what are you” question, which wouldn’t be weird if it wasn’t just our protags being bombarded with it. Surely there are some critters who venture over into new areas? Or perhaps new life occurs every now and again? The repetition has been annoying for a while, but it’s venturing into just plain silly “-so that we may serve you.” What. Why. Kill me

While I do like the designs of the paper stars, I’m really not digging the vibes. Sorry stars, you will never be the plupples from the Hot Daga

“Paper pleasers” I hate that I actually like that pun

Why is the team reacting so negatively to the stars being named after them? That’s genuinely fucking sad. Yet another instance of the show zooming by actual trauma for a cheap gag

Dude has spent who know how many years without a genuine personal connection, has been spending that time exploring the area and gaining its people’s trust, AND has shared his home with these people, yet when they talk to him about anything Wonderland related, they act like he’s saying he’s going to make them into shoes or something while having the audacity to be disappointed that he doesn’t have a solid lead on getting out. These girls are deplorable

Why are RWBY so lackluster about doing literal life-saving tasks while Jaune follows a hunch? You’re Hunters, that’s your job. Quit acting like life in Wonderland is beneath you because you don’t understand it jfc

I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many different visual styles in a single show before. There’s the standard 3d, the color silhouettes (solid and textured), some microsoft paint scribbles, a few 2d stills, and now this children’s book style. Feels like an identity crisis

I understand Jaune’s perception of the tree, but I really don’t like how he overrides the autonomy of the villagers. If they’re literally willing to self-mutilate in order to leave, that’s probably a sign that you should let them go

Love how Weiss’s interest in Jaune disappears the moment he shows signs of mental illness. Gives me the warm and fuzzies *smash cut to me barfing in a dumpster*

“Because I can actually protect these people!” That is definitely a response to trauma that fits well with this narrative. Let’s see how MKEK fuck it up!

Jaune kills 2 jabbers in like 0.0003 seconds. Why in the everloving fuck did y’all have to run before?

I’m just realizing this is the first fight I’ve actually paid attention to. No idea why, but every fight previous my eyes have just glazed over. But I gotta say, I think the camera is way too close to the action. There’s definitely some interesting choreography going on but it’s hard to get a grasp on where everyone is at any point, and the bland environment isn’t helping. Go watch John Wick for some pointers

Unsure as to why Ruby is a) the only one apparently traumatized to the point of nearly 180-ing her character and b) why it’s specifically Crescent Rose/combat that triggers her. MKEK know how to throw bones but they can’t dish out any real substance

Someone please give that creature a cough drop or something because I cannot understand a word this fucker says

I thought Neo’s semblance was illusions? Pretty sure it’s called Imagination, which definitely implies it’s not a physical shifting ability. So, if the jabber-Neo had taken a bite of Ruby, would that mean Neo is chomping down? Would Ruby get stabbed with semblance glass? Or did the writers forget their own rules again?

ONCE A FUCKING GAIN WE ARE INTERRUPTED LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEONE ASKING IF RUBY IS OKAY. WE ARE SEVEN EPISODES INTO A TEN EPISODE SEASON GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT

This “don’t ask me because I’m a leader” bit is really strange coming right off the several minute conversation about finding leads to getting home where not one person even looked at Ruby. Like, this was a request for supporting a platitude not a demand for a plan

“Why do I have to be the one to always pick people up?” First of all, no one asked you to, so jot that down. Second of all, bitch you have never been the sole sally sunshine, nor were you the only one helping others with emotions. Yang picked up Blake in V2, Jaune reassured YOU back in V4, Weiss talked to Yang in V5, Qrow comforted YOU in V7 and his main source of kindness was Clover (rip good boy). You’ve had your moments but don’t act like you’re the only one pulling emotional weight

Also, this voice acting is making me laugh I cannot take this seriously whatsoever

Why in the hickory dickory fuck is Blake hiding behind Yang and YANG WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE YOUR SISTER IS A FUCKING THREAT

In this scenario, it does make sense why Jaune’s the one who snaps, but holy cannoli batman I cannot stop thinking about how much better Yang would’ve been in this position, especially after the group split in V8. Sure, that conflict was contrite to begin with and its resolution unmemorable (did it even resolve? I’m not subjecting myself to V8 again), but it’d be so much spicier if the family divide grew in absence

Skipping right past Ruby’s breakdown to focus on Jaune’s. Huzzah. At least his is more interesting and grounded than hers

Genuinely impressed with Luna’s voice here. Dude should go bananas more often

I am once again asking if the team knows about Penny or if Jaune’s been keeping that juicy bit to himself. The way the camera focused on his mouth made it seem like he was about to confess, but it was a tease. I got narrative blue balls over here man, get on with it

Wasn’t it usually Yang who tried for positivity in dark times? Or did that get left at Beacon too? Blake’s supposed to be the realist, which maybe that’s what she was trying to do here but considering her track record I doubt it

And R leaves WBY behind! Please let this mean we can FINALLY focus on her shit and not cut away from it? And they better bring the cat back or Else

[wreywrites]

Tiger Shark

Part 2: The Sea

Chapter 9

It is cloudy when I wake up. The day is gray, and I wonder how late I have slept. Stitch is already awake, as is Elsie, who I suspect also got to sleep all night, given how long Zalea must have kept watch. I get up and move to their side of the fire so we can talk without disturbing the others.

Stitch quietly catches me up. “I was already awake when Mako went to get Elsie up, so I told him I would take over. She woke up not long after that anyway.”

“Was already gettin’ light,” Elsie says.

“How long ago was that?”

Stitch shrugs, but Elsie says, “Couple hours, probably.”

“The weather isn’t going to mess things up, is it?” I say. I don’t know anything about buffalo or causing stampedes, so I feel this is a valid concern.

Elsie shakes her head. “If the weather was bad I’d be worried, but it’s just cloudy. Shouldn’t be anything to worry about.”

The others wake before long.

“Let me guess,” Zalea says, “Buffalo for breakfast?”

In response, a parachute floats down and lands in my lap. I open the basket and can’t help but smile at the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls. I pull one out and take a bite. They’re even warm. I owe Finnick and my sponsors big time if I get out of here alive. “Looks like it’s your turn to be Finnick’s favorite,” I grin at Mako, holding up the cinnamon roll with one hand and passing the basket to Stitch.

“About time,” Mako snorts.

“How do y’all do that?” Elsie says, taking her roll from the basket. “All we’ve gotten is some tablets for water ’cause our backpacks didn’t have any.”

Zalea snorts. “You’ve seen these two, right? Know their scores, watched their interviews, all that stuff? If I lived in the Capitol I’d sponsor them too. And I wouldn’t be complaining about just getting tablets if I were you-” Zalea takes a roll, “-without water you’re dead already.”

“Besides,” I say, “It’s not like we’re getting spoiled. He literally told us he would send us a little something every day to remember him by. He’s just taking care of the crew.”

“Something to remember him by?” Zalea is back to being her snippy self. “Sounds like Finnick Odair to me. Whose head didn’t you turn?”

I raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean by that? Last I checked, he’s my mentor and it’s his job to send us stuff.”

“Just that you’ve got Gloss all over you, and Finnick sending you desserts, and sponsors lined up because they’re in love with you, and your boyfriend has to sit here through it all because he had the misfortune of getting reaped with you-”

“Okay,” Merritt cuts her off. “Let’s just appreciate the breakfast ’n’ get on with our day.”

“Please,” Mako says.

“You’re right. The sooner we go, the sooner we get done, the sooner we can split up again,” Zalea snaps.

We finish breakfast in silence. Merritt divides up the rest of the jerky while Elsie buries what’s left of the fire.

Merritt walks us through the details as we dress in our buffalo hides.

“Everyone knows the bird whistle, right? Good. I’ll lead, ’n’ Elsie’ll take tail. We go single file, ’n’ when I whistle like this-” he gives a four-note call, “-the last person stops where they are. Stay low ’n’ wait for the signal. Elsie ’n’ Annie’ll be on the close flank, then Stitch ’n’ Mako in the back, ’n’ me ’n’ Zalea’ll take the far flank. Once we’re all in position, I’ll whistle like this-” he gives two sharp whistles, “-then we go. Lose the ponchos, shout, run at the herd, spook ’em into a stampede, ’n’ keep ’em runnin’ at the cornucopia. They’ll do all the hard work for us.”

Mako hides our one revealed backpack up a tree. None of the others know about the cave, or that this is where we’d made our camp and planned on staying for the foreseeable future, so I simply say, “We’ll come back this way after it’s done.”

No one argues. Stitch says something about forest, which doesn’t eliminate much of the arena, but I think that’s the point, and Zalea says she found a water hole on the other side of the arena.

“We’ve been wanderin’ since the beginning, ’n’ I think we’ll keep doin’ just that.” Merritt glances at Elsie. She nods.

We double-check the area to make sure we haven’t left anything valuable behind, but everyone has picked up their possessions and stowed them in their backpacks, which make the other four look even bulkier than the ponchos alone. Weapons in hand, we follow Merritt through the little tree patch and onto the plain.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

We walk in silence, not wanting to alert anything or anyone to our presence. I’m glad it’s cloudy, because I couldn’t imagine doing this walk in the hot sun wearing a furry poncho. The poncho’s making things uncomfortably warm enough.

I am just starting to wish I had brought one of our water bottles along when we crest a low hill and I see them. The hulking shapes of buffalo, spread in front of us, grazing peacefully. A few of them look up, but they must not perceive us as a threat; they go right back to grazing. Merritt leads us alongside the herd for a while before whistling. The next signal will be for me.

We walk another hundred yards and Merritt whistles again. I stop. Kneeling in the grass, I slowly turn so I am facing the glint of the cornucopia in the distance. I hear Merritt whistle again, this time leaving Stitch. I set my spear down. I can’t take the poncho off while holding it. Merritt whistles and Mako is in place. I lift up the bottom of the poncho as high as I dare without revealing myself. A breeze flutters through the gap, providing some relief from the heat. Another whistle. Zalea is ready. At the next signal, we run. I take a deep breath, let myself sink into the same mindset as I had at the cornucopia when the Games started.

Two sharp whistles cut through the quietly rustling grass. I let out a roar and throw off my poncho, grabbing my spear as I surge to my feet. In front of me, Elsie is whooping and shouting. The buffalo panic. For a horrible second, they run away from Elsie and me, but Merritt and Zalea turn them back and then we are all running.

I feel a surge of adrenaline as we race through the grass. The buffalo are not fast, but they are faster than us, and they are terrified. I can see it in their tossing heads and rolling eyes. We run with them, and there is something joyful about it. For a moment I feel truly free, the way I feel when we take the sailboat out and I climb up the mast and I can see forever. I am laughing and whooping and oddly I want this run to go on forever, to run until my legs just can’t anymore, to-

Something heavy slams into me, knocking me to the side, Dazed, I struggle to regain my balance. The buffalo are drifting to the side, toward Elsie and I, and one of them drifted right into me.

Elsie has noticed this as well. She is running faster now. I sprint after her, watching to see what she does. Then, she veers into the herd. The buffalo next to her throws its huge head and swerves away from her, pushing several others. Just as sharply, Elsie veers safely away from the stampede. After a few seconds, she does it again. I decide to copy her, and slowly, we turn them, just in time for the herd to slam into the cornucopia.

Just like the last time I was here, there is utter chaos. The buffalo tear through piles of supplies. I hear screaming somewhere. The dull clanging of massive, unstoppable creatures slamming into the metal sides of the cornucopia seems to come from everywhere at once. I hear the cannon sound once, then a second time. Someone is shouting. An arrow whistles by my cheek.

“Run! Run!” Zalea is shouting.

Someone grabs my arm. I whip around to see Mako pulling me away.

There is another scream.

“Elsie!” Merritt shouts.

I turn back toward the chaos. Most of the buffalo have scattered. Among the wreckage there is not a scrap of salvageable food. There are two bodies on the ground. Elsie joins them, the blade of Jilly’s scythe slicing her throat.

I barely hear the cannon. What I do hear is a wordless raging scream from Merritt. He throws himself at Jilly and we are all transfixed. Jilly is deadly, but Merritt is enraged. He has no fear. The pair exchange a flurry of blows before Merritt gets too close for the long scythe to be effective. He stabs Jilly, up under the ribs, just like Alvan and Cally. She drops. The cannon booms.

And then Merritt sinks to his knees, an arrow in his chest. The four of us who are left scatter. I sprint through the grass, going back the way we came, my only thought is that I can’t lead whoever is left of the Careers back to our camp.

The cannon sounds again. Mako is sprinting beside me. We do not slow down until we have gone up a low hill and down the other side. We are perhaps halfway back to where we started the stampede. Mako collapses into the grass. I drop to my knees beside him, sides heaving. I can only hope no one is chasing us, because there is no fight we could win.

It takes a long time to catch my breath. When I am finally breathing at a semi-normal pace, I creep back up the hill to see if anything is still happening. It is so quiet in the arena, I can almost make out the words that the four surviving members of the Career pack are shouting at each other. Almost, but not quite. I’m too far away to be able to tell who is still alive. I know Tychus is, but beyond him I have no way of knowing. I didn’t pay enough attention to the two bodies that were stampeded to death, I guess. Silly me.

I crawl back down the hill to Mako.

“Any idea?” he says quietly.

I shake my head. “Tychus. At least one girl, probably two, from the shouting, but I couldn’t tell which ones. And I could only see four of them, but who knows.”

He gets to his feet, slowly. “We should get back to the cave. They’ll be out for blood.”

“They got it,” I say hoarsely, “Elsie and Merritt…”

“They knew the risks. It was their plan. But we need to get somewhere safe, in case the pack tries to hunt down the rest of us. They saw us, Annie, they know who was in on it. We need to-”

The cannon stops him short.

We sit in silence for a long time.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

“Let’s go get the ponchos,” I say finally.

Mako nods, and as the sun creeps low toward the horizon, we walk through the trampled grass until we find the first discarded poncho. I trail my fingers through the rough hair, saying a silent goodbye to Elsie. We find my poncho a hundred yards beyond. I put it on. The sun is nearly down and already it is getting cold. We hurry to find Mako’s, then, cold and exhausted, we curl up under them and listen to the anthem play. Then they show the pictures. Andromeda from Two, the boys from Seven and Nine, Jilly, Merritt, and Elsie.

“That was worse than the bloodbath,” Mako says quietly.

I nod. “Do you think they’ll find us if we just sleep here for tonight?”

Mako looks around. There are already a handful of buffalo drifting in. “No. And if they do, we’ll have an early warning system.”

I take the first watch, staying up as long as I can. It doesn’t feel long enough, but I can barely keep my eyes open, so I wake Mako.

I dream that I am being chased by buffalo, but their faces are human. Farroe, Tychus, Andromeda, Jilly, Megary Fallon…

****

****

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[docholligay]

Ep 6: Bullet points

Hello! This is about up to Episode 6 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 6 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the sixth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

They’ve been there about three or four months, if we assume that May or June is when the girls left--I would assume May because of prom. I know this because deer shed their velvet in late August or early September here. 

I do not have time this exact second in my lie, but I would really like to go over the opening, which In think is showing us a bunch of stuff that is going to happen, maybe, but in ways we won’t possibly be able to contextualize until we’ve seen it. 

Did Jeff or Callie hide Shauna’s postcard? I doubt it’s Callie because that would involve Callie giving one solitary shit about her mother, but Jeff I could see doing that. What did he think that would do? Did he think it would help? 

I am absolutely not buying the baby eating thing. Can’t make me. I’ll believe it when I fucking see it. I wasn’t sure where to put the abortion bit, and maybe my current style of dividing the posts into each of the girls is going to work less and less well, but, I think the idea of her trying to give herself an abortion in the woods is among the most crackers things I have ever heard. Shauna’s such a coward on the subject of Jackie that she’d rather maybe die than tell her the truth. 

I continue to not give a shit about Nat and Travis’ awkward cruise toward their weird codependent bullshit. But Jackie is right! They should not be quite literally FUCKING AROUND while everyone is going hungry. They are so so immature. God. I love how much I loathe this whole thing. 

Me talking to Jetty about this show: When you were watching this, did you see Taissa and think of me? Jetty: Oh, IMMEDIATELY and always. 

I wonder if Coach Ben is Less Heterosexual Than Originally Assumed given what I know about Seattle cruiser culture in the 90s

Line of the episode: I can’t do crazy right now, Lot! What a beautiful moment for like, what would living with this sort of thing really look like? Even in a generally positive way? 

[justasopearchive]

uhmmmm.... 👉👈 im still curious about your thoughts on why you think sope has kind of drifted apart these past few years. ive been watching the two closely since 2017 and kind of went mia last 2020. only got back in the fandom late last yr so im curious about your perspective on why you think so... ive seen some sopies share the same sentiments and i wanted to get more context as to why yall arrived with almost the same idea. i already asked you this before but i noticed you still havent answered it yet. if you wont reply to this, i guess ill just take that as a hint to never ask about this topic again hehe sorry if these ever came off as delusional or anything but im honestly just curious about what happened 🥺

Oh, of course; sorry about that, my entire Tumblr is on a queue, so I’m rarely actually ON Tumblr (except yesterday) and most asks I get are lowkey toxic shipping stuff, so I ignore it 😩

It’s not delusional at all; and if it is, I’m also delulu lol. In terms of Sope in particular, I always got the feeling that Suga had a thing for Hobi…a demonstrable thing, crush, feelings, confusion, call it whatever you want. Yes, BH feeds into the madness, but I don’t think they can fake every second on camera and he (Y) was just demonstrably happier, softer and overall more energetic with him (H).

But we stopped getting damn near any interactions a few years ago. Like. At all. Even the 2021 and 2022 memories were bare bones for us Sopies.

My theory? Sometime in 2019ish something happened and one or the other said something pretty bad to the other or feelings came to a head and someone, IDK WHO, put them on ice (I tend to think it was Hobi who wanted to chill out…idk, he just never seemed as into it). And they just haven’t been the same since then. We know they used to see each other outside of work in the past because both of them have said it and there’s photo/video evidence. Now, J-Hope says he sees Suga “in the office”; a far cry from two dudes who went to concerts together or sat around and drank at their new office.

Even Yoongi being the only one not at the JITB release party. That wasn’t sus to y’all? And, yes, I know they said he “felt sick.” But come on…he turned around and performed, in outstanding health, at the Psy concert right after that. That just looked…strange.

Anyway, I’m choosing to remain delulu and force myself to believe that they love each other and Sope is not divorced and they’ve kissed (don’t worry, I know this is all jokes and fantasy…I actually believe 5/7 of Bangtan are in or have recently been in, hetero romantic relationships).

I’ve literally never “shipped” anyone else in my life and BTS is the only group of strangers I actively enjoy keeping up with (I don’t even watch reality TV 🥴)—so I’m just gonna hold on to this as my OTP for awhile lol

This is all just conjecture and gossiping on MY part.

Hope that answers your question 🙃

[unpopularly-opinionated]

I’ve been watching How to Get Away With Murder lately and let me just say I’ve had several topics that this fucking show has made me want to blog about that I just don’t wanna spam y’all with so let me bullet point this for you:

Warning: Long AF post about complete nonsense.

1. I never finished Scandal (another series by Shonda Rhimes) but I sure did watch a shit ton of it and I used to genuinely think it was a great show at the time. Haven’t seen it in a while so I’m not sure how exactly I’d feel now, but if watching HTGAWM has shown me anything it’s that god does this woman suck at writing characters. She’s pretty good at writing serialized legal/political dramas, I’ll give her that, but she legitimately only has like maybe 4-5 character archetypes that she just copied and pasted from Scandal onto this show, and boy do the flaws show in this series.

You’ve got the strong, black female lead whose job it is to basically fix problems, ethically or unethically, she pretends to care but doesn’t really.

You’ve got the sociopathic do-it-all guy who does all the unethical dirty work including breaking and entering, kidnapping, killing, destroying evidence, planting evidence, etc. with a troubled past of being in prison.

You’ve got the incredibly basic girl who starts off all shy and cute like she’s an innocent little sunflower, who then falls in love with the sociopathic do-it-all guy which inevitably leads her down a similar road of corruption.

You’ve even got the soft-spoken, ‘dreamy’ white man that the lead has the hots for (as well as the mentally-damaged white girl).

There’s probably more, but honestly that’s all I can remember from Scandal at this point. It’s actually kind of insane to me how it’s literally just the same exact characters just transplanted to a different plot. I don’t know much about her personally, but she strikes me as someone who would probably make bank writing romance novels or Y/N fanfic.

2. Binge watching shows has ruined pacing of older shows, such as HTGAWM, because without that weeklong break in the middle (sometimes longer for holidays) you overlook details because you don’t have time to process them properly, and oftentimes plot points that require time passing (such as relationships, breakups, etc.) can fail completely because it’s not really believable when a couple is together one episode, breaks up to be w/ someone else the next, says “I love you” the next, and is pregnant in the next (yes, this is something that actually happened in HTGAWM).

3. Just in general, the writing for this show really begins to plummet after just S1, but mostly S2. I’ll give them credit where credit is due, a lot of shows that begin with this ‘hook’-like idea--in this case murder and how to get away with it--tend to fail miserably by wrapping up that initial hook in the first season and then winging it every season after that. This show surprisingly doesn’t do that, and every season begins with a new murder that they then have to “get away with” (almost comically-so).

But as I said, this woman doesn’t seem to know how to write characters, at least not likeable or consistent ones. It sometimes feels like I’m watching reality TV or something because a lot of the conflict between characters is incredibly forced. I’m halfway through S4 and despite the fact that these people love to profess how much they love each other, they’re a family, etc. in nearly every episode you’ve got someone “not trusting” someone else, someone keeping secrets “just because”, or someone yelling at someone else for something because it’s “all their fault” when like none of that is ever actually true.

Oliver and Conner broke up because Oliver felt like the relationship wasn’t healthy because, even after he lied to Conner about something really fucking important, Conner instantly forgave him, which yeah sure that absolutely sucks and is a totally valid reason to break up with someone, albeit a sad one because obviously you two still love each other...except in the next fucking episode, Conner is hooking up w/ strangers and Oliver is genuinely considering jumping into another relationship, and also Oliver is changing his story and claiming the reason he broke up w/ Conner was actually Conner’s fault because of like trust issues or something which just isn’t true at all?? It was a wild retcon that came out of nowhere for no other reason other than I guess she needed them to sleep w/ other people that season.

Also I’m sorry but how is Michaela supposed to be even a remotely redeemable character when she’s written to be this huge uptight, racist, homophobic (or possibly biphobic), bitch? I don’t think she ever gets better. Right from the get go in S1, she has this whole ordeal over her fiancé having had one gay experience many years ago when he was younger, and like okay I would understand it if it was just about the fact that he didn’t tell her about it, but she continued to spiral out over it, accusing any man even in the vicinity of him as being his secret lover, and continues to badmouth him as “gay” (I can’t write tone here, but she says it in a very accusing way) to the others including Conner who is literally gay. There’s also never really a refutation to this either, so by the time Aiden is completely out of the picture, I guess we’re left to just assume he is actually gay, despite all possible evidence pointing to the contrary. But I guess all of this is A-OK because she becomes GBFs w/ Conner later for...some reason, I guess.

Then there’s the way she treats Asher which, in the beginning I was like okay fair, he’s the douchey frat boy character. Totally understandable why you’d treat him like an asshole. But when they hook up and eventually get together, she is so unbelievably racist towards him??? She’s constantly going on about “white boy” this and “white people” that, and the poor dude just takes it because he’s super whipped.

The way she also talks about other black people is even off, like if she wasn’t black (and Shonda Rhimes wasn’t black) I would daresay it comes across as fetishistic. In fact, a lot of this show is written like fetish porn of black people. God help if this was written by a white woman which ironically enough, it really does feel like this was written by a white woman. I’m not even joking, if I didn’t already know who Shonda Rhimes was, I would swear to you this show was written by a white woman who really loves black people, to an uncomfortable degree. I’m not even talking about cringy “black empowerment” either, that’s not what bothers me. It’s one thing to promote strong black (female) characters in a show which you know it’s fine I guess, whatever, but this show fetishizes that instead. Black people aren’t just strong and powerful, they’re the strongest and the most powerful. It’s creepy and weird.

At this point, the only reason I’m watching it is because I like Viola Davis and despite her character being iffy at times, she’s still a tremendous actress. And ofc I like Colliver, even though it’s messy a lot of the time. I know I just sat here and shat on the show a bunch, and to be clear it’s definitely not a show I would ever recommend, but it’s not strictly-speaking terrible. It just has a lot of bad moments/elements to it.