#like happy for my ex now truly bc i dont think she was very happy with me + was fucking miserable when/how i broke up w her
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my ex upgrading not only to a model but someone who is not closeted and happy to take pictures together......... oooooo this totally is NOT a blow to my ego 😂😂😂😂😂
#SORRY I KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS#I JIST#JUST#LIKE. I WAS SO (still am) CLOSETED LIKEEEE#when we were dating she tagged me in an insta story without asking and we went on that date on like a saturday right#all through the weekend everyone was asking if i was into girls and 'A GIRLFRIEND?!?!'#and then monday came and people i never even talked to asked me about it#like sure no one really cared but i was so scared it would get back to my mother somehow idkkkk#like happy for my ex now truly bc i dont think she was very happy with me + was fucking miserable when/how i broke up w her#but my god..............#fuck#i need a boyfriend (like in a gay way bc im trans. keep that in mind)#FUCK.
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im so happy. im so happy i barely even come on tumblr anymore... i met up w the guy im seeing. he kissed me when we were sitting on a large swing :D he told me he actually already wanted to kiss me the last time we were together. we also went out to eat. i let him pick what i ordered and got the bar to make me a surprise drink so it would be fun and challenge my ed. they made a cucumber tom collins w reduced sugar(the only instruction i gave them was to not make the drink too sweet bc i dont like sweet things all that much). and!! tom collins is my fav cocktail btw!! :DD. ate a vegan burger and fries. which is also pretty cool bc i avoid bread generally. but i didnt die and it was so good. we walked around a lot and then climbed on top of this climbing pyramid?? at a playground. we lied down and just talked. i was supposed to go back to my sister's place but he asked if i wanted to stay over at his for a while. he sang to me and played his guitar and showed his cool posters and told me the stories behind them. our first KISS KISS like make out kiss was so cute too... he played a song i knew but had weird memories attached to it. i told him im glad im making new ones w it. when the chorus came on he spontaneously kissed me :D we stayed silent w our foreheads touching till the end of the song. now i can associate the song w good memories :D we cuddled and kissed a lot. i ended up accidentally falling asleep and my sister thought sth had happened to me bc my battery had died too. but it was so nice. it was all so innocent and had no implications that it had to go any further than cuddling and kisses. we were all over eachother and tbh i dont think ive ever felt this comfortable w physical touch w anyone else before. he looks at me w such adoration too.. its so sweet. he said he has discovered so much good music from looking at my spotify which is cute.. our shared playlist now shows that the songs only i listened to before are the songs in common to us. thats sweet... he is so gentle and vulnerable and open. and he likes my quirks and doesnt view them as weird. lol i have that neurodivergent rizz. no but truly. so much more happened. i wish i could talk abt everything but im so exhausted i havent slept at all for the past week bc ive been so busy w diff events. saw my ex at this one party btw. she made long awkward eye contact w me but i looked away very fast but i saw from the corner of my eye that she didnt. at the last party the roles were reversed, i couldnt stop staring at her but she broke the eye contact fast. cool to know im over her completely now. anyway, im in such a great mood that i dont think even she can ruin it. she didnt look like she was having a great time and im glad. i had so much fun and i now think she truly did me a favour by leaving me. i have glow-upped so much and she hasnt. :) i feel so loved by everyone. i cant wait to meet up w the guy again next week. we have so many fun things planned. i cant stop thinking about our goodbye kiss. it was so passionate :D and our chemistry is so good. like truly one of the best. i layed my head on his chest and listened to his heart beating. when i wrapped my arm around him i felt how his heart started beating extremely fast. it was so adorable. :) we have so much in common too, its insane. like literally already starting from our childhood.
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Smt i always imagine is our soft subby boys meeting an expartner and hearing about what your relationship was like with your former sub and its a completely different dynamic from the one you have with him and!!! I could write a thesis on why i think there are very specific categories they all fall into!
Charles... first of all babygurl charles does not want to meet your former sub, does not even want to acknowledge you had previous relationships. You're his now and he's happy being delusional! If it was known they would be at an event you're going to i think he would be very sneaky and try to find a way you can both avoid it, but if you have to go theres no way hes not going to be there (i hc charles and being very protective, very territorial- he does not want to share!). And charles is trying to avoid them but is so hyperaware of their presence he kind of just ends up glaring at them all night while you have an arm around his waist ... so, like, they have no choice but to approach, charles is drawing attention and its awkward 😭 and okay okay your arm never leaves his waist but you smile and maybe just a small comment is made, idk, charles trying to brag about your dynamic and how much attention you give him, bc! He needs to know! You like charles more! And then your former sub goes oh no ours was really laid back, i didnt need too much and she could have other hobbies 😩 i literaly have no idea, i leave this to your talent to make it more believable, but ! Charles just deflates, everything has been too much and hes so overwhelmed and just tired and then teary, but he doesnt want to leave you and just needs you to know he needs to be at home alone with you in spft pyjamas cuddling - i hc charcles as well as just expecting you to know his every feeling, he knows its good to communicate but you always just seem to know ... so just a little bit when you keep talking even with his shiny eyes looking at you and youre not even looking back hes feeling betrayed?? And he knows its irrational but he cant help it.
You go through the rest of the night with a very sullen and withdrawn charles who wont really talk to you but also wont stop hugging you and god forbid you dont hold his waist (very zendaya and tom holland okay? Have you seen those photos???? BABYGIRL) even if hes sad and just a tiny bit upset with you he still needs you to hold him, or hes just gonna fall apart, and now i leave this to ypu, if you want to answer! Just insecure sad charles needing reassurance, but getting the problem out of him is challenging enough. Ik you can do this justice bestie!! Would love to hear your thoughts. I have ideas for the others as well but i thought it was too much for a single ask 😩
Oh my god I love this. PLEASE PLEASE send me your other ideas!!! Please!!! I need to know all the thoughts!!!! I added mommy kink to this because I think it works really well with the different dynamic aspect?
So firstly, yeah charles is happy to live in delusion! He’s your baby boy and you’re his mommy and it has simply always been that way in his little head. He never ever wants to meet anyone who has been with you before him, because no! He refuses! He’s yours and you’re his and that’s it.
(Sidenote: he gets even more distressed when he meets one of his exes)
And because of Charles being so territorial, he honestly loves going to kink events? Of course it’s always very high class kink events where everyone has to sign NDAs to protect Charles.
He LOVES being on your arm the whole night, letting everyone see what a good boy he is for his mommy. He wears his collar so proudly, clinging to your side the entire evening and just being so happy because so many people come up to you two and no one even thinks of trying to join you two because it’s so clear that you’re together and need no one else and Charles is THRIVING.
You spend a fair amount of the evening with Charles curled up on your lap, receiving a slow handjob and he’s truly living his best life. So many people come to watch but none can touch and even when they make comments or suggestions, Charles always looks to you because you’re his mommy! He’s a good boy, only listening to his mommy.
So after you’ve teased an orgasm out of Charles and he’s all soft and happy in your arms (and trying to get down onto the floor because he’s feeling soft and subby and he must return the favour! Must taste mommy!), you decide it’s time to walk around the room a little and actually greet some people.
Charles is more than happy with that, because he loves being arm Candy. He’s in no state to actually talk much, but he knows you’ll handle that.
That’s when you run into your ex. Charles has heard about the person before, because you’re both very open about who you’ve been with before. Maybe Charles had even seen a picture of them before?
Even normally, Charles would be very unhappy with seeing one of your exes. But at a kink event? When he’s just had an orgasm? Oh no Charlie is VERY upset about this.
He glared at the person, sticking to your side and pouting. At first you think it’s Charles being possessive because you did just make him cum and are now looking at others. So you tighten your grip on his waist, pulling him closer. You expect him to melt into your side as always, cuddling into you and then happily getting his cuddles while you chat to some people.
But that’s not what happened, because Charlie’s is upset! He will not just melt into your arms because an ex sub of yours is right there!
At the same time, your ex sub notices you and comes to say hi. The two of you left on good terms, and you don't mind running into them at all. Charles though? Charles minds. He really really minds.
Charles introduces himself though, prodding announcing that you're his mommy, emphasising the possession because he needs the ex sub to know that you're HIS mommy now.
Only for the ex sub to smile and say, "Oh that's nice, we never really did that dynamic together, preferred more lowkey stuff."
Which just... Charles needs to go home now. He needs to go home right now.
He knows that he should be happy to hear that you havent been anyone else's mommy. But that also means that you havent wanted to be anyone else's mommy. Do you not enjoy it as much as he thought you did? Is he just a burden?
He's too sad and too subby and you must take him home now!!
Except he doesn't voice this, he just forces a laugh and cuddles as close to you as he can, trying to get some comfort. You don't notice anything odd about his behaviour, because you expected him to be quiet and clingy after his orgasm.
But then you try to walk somewhere else, expecting Charles to come with you but Charles doesn't expect it. So he just kinda stands there and whines?
You take a few steps before realising Charles isnt with you, and when you turn around, you see a sobbing Charles watching you. The poor thing assumed you were leaving him, not that you were simply going somewhere else and expecting him to follow you.
Your heart just breaks, because your little sub is clearly so lost and confused and something has made him so much more upset than he should be.
So you quickly go back to him, pulling him into your arms and apologising for not warning him that you were going to move.
"Mommy," he whines, clinging to you, "mommy.... need mommy."
You hold him tight, kissing his neck and promising him that you're right there, that he has his mommy.
You take him home after that, changing him into comfy clothes and letting him cuddle him into you. You just hold him close, waiting for him to calm down before you ask him anything. You know that if you ask him what happened before he's ready, then he'll only get even more upset.
So you just let him calm down in your arms, keeping him warm and safe and giving him plenty of forehead kisses.
When he's ready, he admits that what really upset him was meeting your old sub, and hearing that you had a much more laid back dynamic with them. You understand then, and your heart just breaks because your subby baby should never ever think that he's too much.
"Things were more laid back with them," you explain, "and yeah I've never had such a serious dynamic before. But I've also never had such a cute babyboy before, and I've never wanted to look after someone like I want to with you before."
"So you... you're happy with me?" he asks you, sniffling a little.
"Of course!" you say, "I love you! You're my baby, yeah?"
He nods then, managing to give you a little smile.
But he'd still rather be delusion though. He belongs to his mommy and his mommy belongs to him.
(PLEASE SEND ME THE OTHER THOUGHTS I NEED THEM)
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new opddmh updates..... like. three of them. crazy. haven't been keeping up as well as usual (acting stuff and work tag teaming my free time and absolutely destroying it) but i have finally started to binge and i truly truly love what u r doing w makoto and miu. so different but still connecting on an in-depth level and balancing eachother out ....... sometimes a relationship is an ex-reality show killing game figurehead and the world's worst teenager fresh out of the hospital against the world. do u have any insights on the way u write relationships and connections or just them in specific that come to mind bc oh my god. please do tell
HELLO AGAIN :]!!! AND HAHAHAH THATS ALL GOOD ive been so busy also FINGERS CROSSED IM ABLE TO GET MY UPDATE SCHEDULE ON TRACK LOL
TALKING ABOUT THIS FIC!!! :] big ole ramble down below lol
(i use the word "partner" a lot here but just know i am not referring to strictly romantic relationships lol)
OHHH GOD. relationship writing advice HMM HMMMMM. it really is very complex bc there are SO many different types of relationships that can be written about ghfdgjh so advice definitely varies!!! i think something helpful that i've learned is that unless you are purposefully examining power dynamics it always helps to view both sides as fully realised characters. very very rarely do you want to have a character who is solely there to agree with their second half and have no personality or history outside of this. i see this happen a LOT with romantic pairings but it's also an important note for platonic pairings as well!! ESPECIALLY if the main focus of the story is on this specific pairing-- it shouldnt feel like one person is a human being while the other is a cardboard cutout whose only purpose is to be there for their partner. again there ARE a few exceptions to this and how it is portrayed but its the main rule i like to stick to!! :]
if i feel like ive written a character who is solely there for their partner something immediate i go to is giving both characters something that separates them!! most of the time this includes fleshing out a backstory thats different from their partner, that might influence the way they see things within the narrative. give them a different hobby, maybe a different friend group! give them a different perspective on the events that are unfolding, a different way of coping that might not be beneficial to their partner!! and remember that it is OKAY for them to not agree on everything!!!! do not be frightened into thinking you need every single relationship in your story to be perfect and unproblematic and completely agreeable, especially for longer narratives that call for conflict
OH AND IN REGARDS TO FANFICTION... piece of advice i try to follow is donttttt try to mold characters into entirely different people just so they can stay happy and agreeable with their partner lol. if theres tension theres tension!! if theyre petty then theyre petty!!!!! even if there isnt conflict and youre writing fluff, you dont have to erase their personalities just to fit them together as a happy couple! sometimes the challenge in writing comes from finding what happiness means for that specific character/pairing, and that may be very different from the typical idea of romance/happiness!!
AND NOW ON TO MAKOTO AND MIU first of all. i am so sorry for making you read paragraphs upon paragraphs of me just rambling nonsense at you GHFDKGSH BUT I APPRECIATE IT!!! and second of all this technicallllyyyy is advice i guess but its WAY more specific now!!! lol
anyways when it comes to writing their relationship most of their dynamic is based off of their differences! opddmh miu is brash and loud, and even though she is trying more and more to filter what she says she still speaks before she thinks and grows restless very easily. opddmh makoto on the other hand cant afford to be brash and loud and thinks quite a lot before he says anything, and is lot visibly calmer. so its fun examining how their differences are able to influence the other throughout the fic!!!! miu NEEDED that calming influence considering the state she was in when makoto found her, i quite frankly have no idea where the hell she would be now if makoto hadnt been so patient and understanding ghfdksghkf. makoto on the other hand is a man chained down by responsibility, so much so that his life has become extremely dull in his eyes just because of how repetitive it has started to become. miu is a serious change to this and offers him some kind of purpose while also reminding him of not only how SCARED he was as a teenager first exiting the simulator but also how unrestrained he had been before the years went by. theres a balance there!!!
but at the same time, there ARE some similarities. theyre both a bit paranoid, and even if miu is more willing to be vocal about her distaste theyre both scared of danganronpa as a company. they also both strive for some kind of peace, even if they have different versions of it-- makoto wishes to be unburdened by the weight of responsibility and his Ultimate Hope persona while miu wishes for stability in her relationships with others, even if she just isnt the best at it. its why i like writing small moments such as the two of them just sitting in the car and chatting or the most recent moment where theyre not talking at all but are still comfortable in each others company-- they dont explicitly tell the other that theyre super happy and at peace but they both subconsciously understand :)
OKAY CUTTING MYSELF OFF!!!! GFHDGFDJ THANK YOU SO SO MUCH <33
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The signs as things i like about ppl i know
Aries: i had an Aries friend in high school who likes to make jokes poking fun at me but when i return the favor she gave me this Intimidating Glare and I'd back off. I had a tiny crush on her for this
Taurus: my aunt is very stubborn and argumentative with everyone but when it comes to me she is very sweet and loving. I feel like her purse dog. I tend to be most Tauruses' purse dog now that i think of it. I dont mind tbh. Extra: My good friend during hs is a girl I met on here and it sincerely felt as if she was (and still is) my soul sister and someone who gave me a lot of self confidence during that time just by caring about me. I'll be her purse dog whenever
Gemini: my mom is the best mom in the world :D. I had to include that first. Anyways the real story is that my first boyfriend is a Gemini and he was really sweet and i would always stare at him with unabashed affection bc he is very handsome and kind and has wonderful humor. It didn't work out bc we were more platonic than romantic but its fine because im happy he was my first boyfriend :)
Cancer: i never got the opportunity to be close to many Cancers in a sufficient way but everytime i meet a Cancer i get super excited and tell them we're water siblings and they get excited back :) yaaaay
Leo: my brother. He is lame but he cares for me and defends me and gives me advice when I'm sad. Same as Cancer, I don't know many Leos but if they're like the better parts of my brother then i am happy they exist
Virgo: every best friend i have is a Virgo!! I love them so much that sometimes i want to cry. I really think they're perfect that i even think their flaws are perfect. I sincerely hope i get married to one for realsies and fall in gay deep homosexual gay love with them even if they're a guy. My ex bestie in high school broke off our friendship and it totally and completely crushed me for months. I didn't think I cared so much but she helped shape my ideas and dreams for a long time. Now im lucky to have two more Virgos in my life who also provide meaningful companionship except without all of that bitterness attached
Libra: they are so cute and sweet. I never got to meet my maternal grandma but i got very attached to my aunt who is a Libra and I consider her my favorite aunt. My mom told me that she acts like my grandma so im happy to love her bc it kinda feels like im loving two people. The person in front of me and the person i mever got to miss. Me and my grandma would have gotten along :')
Scorpio: ough oughhhhh. I tend to have really intense loving friendships with Scorpios that end up fraught with the misery only a stereotypical Cancer and Scorpio would bring to the table. When i had a crush on my friend he was always looking out for me even though he was also a huge jerk. I forged a deep friendship with my ex best friend/ex girlfriend who is a Scorpio and it all got burned to the ground several times. The only time i was truly content was when i was keeping my distance and loving them from afar. I dont even care if this doesnt apply to all Scorpios but im grateful it applied to my Scorpios. I miss them but i never want to talk to them again. Hopefully im mature and strong enough to handle the next Scorpio in my life if they should come. Hopefully i dont have to be
Sagittarius: My good friend in high school who is a Sagittarius was really dear to me. She was the first person to talk to me even though she was awkward and shy, too.
Capricorn: I had a crush on a Capricorn for the longest time. For a time, there was nobody else for me but him. He was unattractive, rude, condescending and pretentious and always seemed to be talking down on me or making fun of me. And i adoooooored him. I think i enjoyed the arguing.
Aquarius: My first ever partner ever was an Aquarius. I remember one night before we dated when we both sat down on the beach away from everyone else to look at the stars and the waves. She told me that the lights of the city in front of us felt like a calling, and i asked her if she felt pulled by it. She said no. She wanted to stay here forever. That idea frightened me because i was afraid to be lost and alone. I never got to understand her, and i really regret that. I was just too young and immature
Pisces: a person that means a lot to me is a Pisces even though he will never talk to me again. Not because we fought but because we drifted so far apart that even dropping in on him feels wrong. Which is sad because for a moment in time we were the two closest people in the world. Whereever you are, please know that you were a pleasure to have around.
#refiba screams#astrology#hehehe#i lobe every sign but my favorite is always virgo and gemini :)#personal
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hi guyss
its been ages since I have been on here and I kinda miss it a lot, I am way more active on twitter under lioncunt but that's not what I logged in to say
its been a crazy (good and bad) months and I wanted to share a little bit
most importantly, I got off my medication which is crazy good. I have been on them for more than 5 years and I have very young so that's a lot. I started them when I was 14/15 and had been needing them since I was like 12 so getting off them is a huge thing for me. I am very truly happy about it because I truly didn't think about a time where I wouldn't need them. I thought it was going to be permanent especially since I am still living with my mom. its been crazy to see how depressed I was all my life, how sad I was. I haven't been taking my meds for like a year but that was me saying "I dont think I need them anymore" but to have a medical professional say "yeah you good" was crazy. bonkers. its so weird and so gratifying but that the same time I don´t want to come on here like everything is fine.
one of the thing that has made my months crazy is accepting I was abused. accepting that I am still abused. and have been, since birth. its really fucked up because now I truly see how little I was (and my brother too) and how much shit I was put through. that I am still put through. because that's the word. abuse. I always knew things were different but never ever considered it abuse. its a big word especially when its accompanied by child. I was a kid. still am in a lot of ways.
one of to good stuff is that me and my brother are thick as thieves which is something I never saw it happening. I just to be so angry at him. call him hideous names and now, he's the only person who actually supports me at my house. every weekend we go out and do a little brotherly outing, small as eating pizza or going to the farmers market. and its so nice. never thought that would make me as happy as its making me.
idk if I ever updated y'all but me and my ex broke up for good couple of months back. I don´t actively miss her but I have been thinking more theses lasts two weeks (I am over analyzing shit but in the normal sphere of things) about her unfortunately because she's in my class so I have to see her everyday but I low-key love hating her. its so nice. its such a normal thing and I love messing shit up. like I am sorry for her for being a child sometimes but I deserve to act like it ( it has been a while since I have bugged her, I actually only bugged her truly once and I learned my lesson!!!! I thought that bugging her was going to help to make me not hate her but it just added fuel to the fire so I leave her alone and I was having a hard week but yeah its so nice to hate her and call her names in my head. is it healthy? no but there's worse things in my life. the funniest thing that has happen is that I had a presentation on bipolar and she thought I was calling her bipolar through the presentation because my friends came to talk to me bc she was making faces all the time I was speaking so that was fun. in her defense, I used to say she had very bipolar behavior ( I actually forgot about it and only linked the dots after my friend talked to me and was like "she thinks you are talking about her") so yeah sdhfjhsdjfshdjfhsdjfhjsdsdjfhdjfsdhj do I really think she has bipolar? no. does she has a lot of bipolar behavior? definitely but you know, who's to say? I had to hold myself back a lot because I had to urge to send a text in the group we have saying "some people told me there wasn't a lot of happy faces while I was presenting, if anyone has a problem you could have talked to me and presented in my place" but as I said, I learned my lesson and I am staying quiet HUHUAHAUHAUAHUA
about jiji, my dearest, idk yet, going to the doctor again for the first time after the diagnosis and going to run more tests. wish me luck and will update yall again afterwards.
about my mom and her zumbi state, there's a light in the darkness because (dont ask me why or how) we have money to travel and see my family in Portugal next year. its going to make it or break her for good. I truly dont know what I want more. she's not living until I am thirty and I actually dont want it. if it didn't mean I would have more responsibilities, I would want her dead now, for her own good too (I am serious)
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(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life
like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.
people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.
i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)
which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)
im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.
yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?
perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty
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breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )
ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11
tw for i^cest and r^pe
he was with a married man
in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store
“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “
that is a quote from that part.
ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child
ian wasnt open with lip
“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”
no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.
in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’
like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting
back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping
he secretly dated his best friends brother
“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”
the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey
he stood by as kash attacked mickey
“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”
okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him
now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic
oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE
he and lip tried framing terry milkovich
oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?
yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s
he dated jimmy-steves married father
“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”
at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that
he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian
he stole lips identity to enlist in the army
he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar
“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”
this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic
ian refused to accept being bipolar
of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it
“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”
okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,
my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )
she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry
my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time
he wasnt faitful to mickey
“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”
lets break that down.
ians. bipolar. disorder.
this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out
ian stole yevgeny
before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own
“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”
cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’
he cant even keep count of his number of partners
just slutshaming i see
he helped throw frank off a bridge
“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”
‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent
also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb
he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey
he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do
he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist
he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )
he tried blackmailing an old client for money
“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”
because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place
“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”
because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth
he let fame inflate his ego
of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail
also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help
“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”
as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board
he stopped taking his meds
see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’
he actually wanted to stay in prison
because he was doing good in there
ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual
he let down his army of followers
“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”
he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health
during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control
he constantly wasted his potential
this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with
his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great
“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”
he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day
“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”
yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him
“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”
back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous
“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”
he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life
“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”
no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically
that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry
now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes
actual valid reasons ian sucks
genuinely believes frank is worse than terry
yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,
mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards
terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist
frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )
sorry ian , terry is worse
never apologized
he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him
never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’
debbies sexuality
he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?
in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me
mickey only getting like 80% of his heart
okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him
and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about
obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind
—
before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him
like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly
now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian
—
if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)
feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol
thanks for letting me rant
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exes au part 14
post directory
obsetress:
obsetress: viola
em: holy shit
em: i think viola could hold a truly ridiculous number of things in her hands
em: danis like i have a little fanny pack right here- and violas like (turns up nose) absolutely not
obsetress: pre therapy viola during her relationship w dani: buys dani a birkin too, is like "here baby, so you don't have to use that fanny pack"
obsetress: dani's like "oh. i, um. like my fanny pack"
obsetress: viola therapy era after her relationship with dani: buys her a hermes fanny pack instead
obsetress: jamie rolls her eyes but dani is literally
em: i think a lot abt viola offering solutions completely unprompted n then being really offended when ppl dont take her up on it
em: pre therapy obvs
obsetress: SAME
obsetress: oh link is gross
obsetress: cost is grosser
obsetress: but viola lloyd dropping $2550 on a fanny pack for her ex gf? chefs kiss
---
obsetress: ok just remembered viola slouching or leaning or w/e n like
obsetress: brain practically applying that to exes au and imagining when and where she'd slouch n everyone's reactions to htat
obsetress: bc like she has perfect posture but when she chooses to do it it's a power move
obsetress: and i. hm
em: yeah
obsetress: viola sitting up stock straight when they first get to brunch and as soon as she's ordered her bloody mary shes pulling off her sunglasses and dropping them on the table and just sinking back
em: how to phrase this w/o sounding too much like a whore
em: actually no way to say this but like i feel v strongly abt the way we make women take up less space wrt to knees together calves touching type deal and i think maybe
em: maybe viola can manspread a bit as a treat
em: hate that term but i cant think of a better one
obsetress: nah she does n it's hot
obsetress: just had this image pre divorce of viola and arthur at marriage counseling on opp ends of the couch n arthur's sitting v tight close and vi is just
obsetress: leaning and spreading a lil
obsetress: the first time jamie sees her do it she's so taken aback
obsetress: because she's NOT expecting it
em: jamies like ah ok late in life lesbian deal and then jokes on her viola is fluent in dyke slouch
obsetress: jamie immediately trying to suss out just how long viola has been fucking women
obsetress: she says to dani later "i thought she was all proper like" and dani's like "she is" and jamie's like "so wot was that then" and dani's like "well, people are gay, jamie,"
em: ghfjhgljkJFDASJKKJFGA
em: jamies like so wait how long HAS viola been
obsetress: jamie: so you were vi's first serious girlfriend right? dani: dani: jamie: right???????
em: violas been fucking women longer than jamie has lbr
em: i mean shes clearly only 35, jamie,
obsetress: jamie: so... vi... viola: hm? jamie: you're, uh, gay, right? viola: obviously jamie: right. well dani told me you've been dating women since–– viola: since i was 15, yes jamie: but you married a man
em: violas like u went to jail everyone does stupid shit occasionally
em: jamie: so how long have you been dating women viola: since i was 15 jamie: no i meant like. in years viola raises her eyebrows and jamies just like haha nevermind fuck
obsetress: she tried!
obsetress: she tried
em: jamie on her 35th birthday pencilling 'many happy returns' into violas ????th 35th birthday card
em: yknow i think
em: i think something's afoot
obsetress: jamie, giving up on the direct approach
obsetress: slipping in next to rebecca at the wine bar
obsetress: "becca"
obsetress: "hi, jamie" "hi. how old is your girlfriend"
em: am fucking losing it thinking abt jamie like. realising how much gay energy viola has
em: like taken ABACK
obsetress: fksljfLKSDJFLJ
obsetress: just like
obsetress: why are jamies reactions to viola so funny
obsetress: montage of jamie realizing how much gay energy viola has
obsetress: jamie watching viola sitting
obsetress: jamie watching viola pick up a variety of glasses and mugs
obsetress: jamie watching viola compare hand sizes with dani, jamie's girlfriend and viola's ex girlfriend who she dated for literal years and whose hand size she definitely already knows
em: NOT THE HAND SZIES
em: they go for a walk and viola immediately complains about the sun and jamie's like
em: i have a spare hat but ur not gonna like it
em: its a snapback that says daddy or smthn in gold, owen got it for jamie for her bday, jamie Loathes it
obsetress: BYE
obsetress: viola looks better in it than jamie does
em: jamie has that
em: am i attracted to viola? moment
em: it passses
em: she has already compartmentalised the weird psychosexual power play
em: queen of compartmentalising
obsetress: jamie: had another one of those moments today dani: what moments? jamie: where i thought i might be attracted to vi dani: well, you did let her fuck you... what was it, four? times in one night, so
em: jamie; yeah but like that aside
em: jamie 'thats neither here nor there' taylor
obsetress: she is the queen of compartmentalizing tho
em: i was gonna be like. 'jamies like wait i dont remember saying four' but. i think she would tell dani
em: because the flip of that is dani callin up vi n i dont think she would necessarily
obsetress: i think she would and dani would make her anyway
obsetress: well make her is harsh but
obsetress: dani would very curiously ask in very convincing ways
em: lovingly coax it out of her
em: dani: what if i fucked you four times in o
obsetress: dani: let me do five
em: viola probably wears so many rings jamie doesn’t even clock the ever present thumb ring
obsetress: jamie just. writes it all off
em: am laughing abt like. viola v meticulously taking off every single ring and putting it in its proper location before...
obsetress: there is something. so hot about that
obsetress: im gonna scream i think
em: i was just meming and now im thinking abt it and
em: truly played myself
em: actually this is me refusing to unpack whatever the hell theo crain gloves made me feel
obsetress: sdkfmsldjfa
obsetress: fair
em: sublimate it into rings
obsetress: i just like um
obsetress: thinkin about when she and dani are together and like
obsetress: it's intentional and everything has its place but vi also makes a show out of it
obsetress: and like
obsetress: she's SO painstaking about it and definitely makes dani wait a little bit and
em: helps dani outta her big ass earrings
em: i mean dani doesnt even Need the help
em: viola meticulous lloyd
em: i mean she just wears so much goddamn jewellry
obsetress: she can tell when dani's getting impatient and goes even slower
em: viola has like
em: viola is one of thos ppl thats really into expensive watches
obsetress: !!!!!!
obsetress: yeah
obsetress: nice lil canon nod too
em: she drags dani to antique auctions n danis like i cant. actually tell the difference between the real and the forgery and violas like (passionately explains it for like 30 minutes) and dani is
em: like shes mentally checked out but also v intensely watching violas hands as she points to the parts of the watch
em: rebecca gets it tho
em: rebecca Gets It
obsetress: dani shoving vi into the bathroom at the auction house and tugging vi's hand between her legs v rebecca grabbing her own auction paddle and bidding against viola for the same watch
obsetress: (rebecca n vi fuck in the car on the ride home)
em: dani grabs a paddle n mimes spanking viola n then the auctioneer is like '$250 to 201' and danis like aw Fcuk
em: violas like i cant take u Anywhere
obsetress: dani gives her the 🥺😌and viola's immediately over it and pulling out $250
obsetress: dani: i didn't even want it, i was just–– vi: i know dani: what am i even gonna do with a–– vi: i'll sell it for $500 at a private auction next week dani: so technically i'm making you money dani, grinning: it's like i'm your employee dani: do you have any more assignments for me, boss? vi: dani get your hand out of my pocket i need to focu––
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Hey so what is ahead to still waters 👀👀
I - oof even what is Ahead to still waters, indeed, lmfao.
Uhm, so very long story short-ish:
Atsw is the sprawling, all over the place, sometimes a gritty traumatic war drama, sometimes an indulgent opulent space opera, occasionally an uncomfortable psychological horror, more often than not a heartbreakingly tragic and agonizing and tenderly romantic monsterbeast of a catradora(...?) fic that happened when a dubcon chipped!catra/adora pwp drabble morphed into Cry little sister and then that au morphed a second time into Ahead to still waters.
It's @trashcanpunch and I's favorite fic-child and we basically come crashing into one anothers DMs on a constant basis to scream feelings at each other. I mean mostly like angsty feelings as if we're on two different sides of a vicious guerilla war and heartbreaking plot moments or snippets or whatever the fuck are spike pits in the jungle but... yknow.
Lmfao no but uh. basically. Atsw, much like Cls, is the "what if" exploration i guess based on if adora&co had left catra behind after catra had helped to rescue glimmer off of prime's flagship.
(mind you that the backstory "lore" of the universe is only like... 5% canon compliant bc I dont fuck with canon when it comes to aus it's stupid and I dont like being limited like that lmao)
no but uhhh. yeah. without the events of Save the Cat, adora never really becomes she ra again. meanwhile, catra isn't forcibly baptized in the mountain dew pool of doom against her will and shoddy chipped and shoved into the hivemind. rather prime sees how much she's hurting and how much internal conflict and despair she's got in her, and very gently and tenderly and so so so uncomfortably grooms her into turning on etheria. essentially handing over not only everything she knows willingly, but also taking the light willingly, joining the hivemind willingly, but also giving herself over to the war effort bodily in letting him use her physically for the creation of little sister, who is kinda sorta an entirely separate personality? it's weird. that whole aspect is sorta... it hasn't been ironed out yet.
(if any of y'all are familiar with my aus, youll know nothing is concrete and everything is always changing and being retconned lol so things may change but)
catra is essentially given the light rather early? and the light and the chips and the hivemind all work differently than in the show, obvs. and she wants to repay prime for giving her a new home and a place of belonging and a purpose?
(oof and I loooove prime in this au. like. i love him because I have such a love hate relationship with him. and I think that's his entire point?? because he'll Make You Like Him??? and make you trust him??? and it's just So Good. and then you'll be reminded that he's an absolute fucking monster it's Amazing)
no but. so. catra. but also little sister. so like, catra is given the light and she's been relieved of her despair and her grief and her anger and bitterness and pain and all that jazz. she's also done some other shit too but we won't get into that here lol. she's earned her place, so to speak. but she wants to do more. she's a true believer. she has seen the truth and heard it from on high and followed him from out of the darkness with pure blind faith and been rewarded. she has really truly deeply drank the koolaid.
prime basically through some weird process splits her - personality? entire wholeass consciousness?? idek. but there's catra and little sister and theyre two different people but they're not and they have two separate personalities but they dont. and they have different memories and knowledge of things but then at the same time they dont. they share a body and a soul but thanks to chip shenanigans and prime's influence, little sister is intentionally so much stronger than catra, she's the one in control most of the time? and yeah sometimes, though very rarely, catra can shove her way to the front but more often than not prime has to allow catra to be present.
(it's not like she'd want to be anyways. committing warcrimes and whatnot. she's comfy where she is. as long as adora's safe she's okay to let little sister be of service to lord prime's plans. that's okay. as long as adora's okay, she's okay.)
but then yknow turns out prime is getting kinda bored af with the war and the heart of etheria isn't like. he doesnt really want it to blow up the universe bc that's dumb as fuck?? lmao what. he mostly either wants to harness that magic so no one else can have it who Would blow up the universe bc there are much more evil fuckers than Prime out there and they aren't members of the evil version of the space united nations or whatever who are all like "so hey uh what's the deal with basically that giant bomb I guess you were gonna take care of or something...?" or he wants to conquer etheria and her surrounding planets (which is mostly his current plan but etheria is kind of just... being a bitch..) bc he cant really just. leave something like that sitting in what is his backyard now. but either way he's getting really fed up and he's all "alright we're gonna just mass chip everyone fuck it i don't care" or something like that, and then honestly prolly destroy all the runestones or something and then just pack up and see if the planet explodes like a pressure cooker.
but also prime has a bit of a soft spot for catra (I mean its more that that but we're not gonna get into that rn) and shes all 🥺👉👈 do you think mebbe I could go and talk to adora and see if i could convince her to join the light? she might be so happy to see me that she'd say yes?
and little sister and prime are all "lmao this kid" and "oh you sweet summer child, how precious you are. sure, it's worth a try" but at the same time they both know that adora isn't an idiot and that she's gonna put two and two together and realize pretty quick why catra isn't dead and why she has a chip but hasn't been seen in years. and oh gee yeah I mean you've been committing God awful horrific atrocities but sure I'll come with you and join ur cult ex bestie sure ♡•°` so little sister pretty much promises prime that she'll kidnap adora if/when she says no to catra both bc adora is a good asset to have Anyway and bc like it or not she's got a soft spot for catra too, even if she's a spoiled little fuck who gets special treatment.
so adora obvs says no and catra is all 🥺 and little sister is all 😤🙄😒🗡🗡 and so adora gets kidnapped...? politely taken prisoner? ... rescued from maybe being blown up? ... reunited with her ex-bestie who she abandoned to prolly/potential doom? lmao pick one. catra is pouting bc adora was mean and rude even tho catra was so excited and happy to see her again and adora is grumpy and stubborn and impolite and little sister is like "I hate you both So Much" and prime is all "drama! I love it :3"
aaand I gotta go run errands and try to be productive so I guess thats all the explanation you'll get for now.
@trashcanpunch can prolly sum it up MUCH MORE seriously than I can tho lmfao
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hi!!! I’m a puertorriqueño/nicaragüense enby looking into resources for learning bruja stuff, any good place you know to start?
I’ve gotten a couple of asks about this lately, and i’m so happy to know there are more latinos finding their way to the practice, tumblr’s brujeria tag often gives the impression that theres so little of us out there reclaiming our practices but getting asks like these brings me a lot of faith that thats not true :) first and foremost:
GETTING INTO BRUJERIA IS HARD.
it really is. baby brujos like us know that better than anyone- getting started, is often the hardest part of doing anything, and its no different with brujeria. it can feel so overwhelming and feeling lost is natural. from my experience, although i am still a newbie ive been able to find a lot of information out there, here are the best places to find info, sorted by priority:
FAMILY! a little self explanatory, but brujeria at its best is truly is an inherited, familial practice. If you can, before delving into internet resources, definitely connect w your family if you’re able to and ask them for guidance and about their experiences!
Your family is always the best resource over anything you can find online; theres so much misinformation out there or information not relevant to your region and if someone in your family already has established practices, always trust them first
Do some thinking back to all your cultural traditions, quirks, stories, and superstitions that you’ve learned from your family across time and never thought too much about- and rediscover them under a new light
KEEP IN MIND: brujeria is NOT a singular , concrete practice w concrete rules in itself, the term blankets a lot of traditions across latam, the caribbean, mexico, but imo its always best to stick with brujeria related to your heritage and where your connection is.
this can be hard for people (like me!) with huge family taboos toward brujeria that make it unsafe to ask around about, and/or limitations in family connections (also like me unfortunately). I personally can really only get the tidbits and stories that my family accidentally slips out when I occasionally see them. i try to write them down as much as possible, but the info i can get is limited... and thats where the following comes in.
ONLINE COMMUNITIES. i.e, youtube, tumblr, instagram brujx communities. notice I haven’t said “internet” in general- the reason why i trust community based social media more than random individual websites you find on google is because, in the case of brujeria and honestly any non-european craft, you’re often gonna find a LOT of white people writing blogs, books, etc about their “spiritual experiences” in latam countries and wrongly/incorrectly taking ATR or indigenous traditions (like with smudging). I know, with social media, although those same white people are also on insta and tumblr, it’s a LOT easier to see the face behind the accounts and differentiate who to trust, who’s legit and has real experience to share, rather than a nameless, faceless, website that is actually some colonizer sharing colonized ideas who thinks theyre on a spiritual journey taking traditions all willy nilly. And the fact that in social media, its much easier to find a lot of good brujas at once bc they tend to follow each other lmao.what ive personally done to find information tho is essentially SCOUR tumblrs, insta accs, and watching tons of youtube videos for posts, accounts, videos, etc, and narrowing down good info from there through , namely:
CHECKING WHO YOUR SOURCE IS!!!
ASKING YOURSELF FROM WHAT EXPERIENCE THEYRE SPEAKING FROM
ALWAYS TAKING EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT
AND STICKING TO INFO FROM CULTURES OPEN AND RELEVANT TO ME.
again, brujería is different depending on where your family is from in latam, and if you have an established connection to indigenous and/or black roots, so it’s useful to use keywords relating to that when searching (like if ur black, you can look into ATRs(african traditional religions) which tend to mix deeply with brujeria, if ur indigenous, finding other people from your tribe is great, and if youre not pursuing your already learned traditions you can think about connecting to them more deeply(altho indigenous traditions are their own thing, sometimes they do mix with brujeria too), and apart from familial roots, if ur catholic/christian and/or want to explore it, saint work/catholic brujeria might be a good fit for you!)
tumblr: there are a couple of fantastic brujxs on this site with great blogs and resources who have sadly left the site, but i still go through their posts heavily for spells, rituals, scraps of info! etting started w brujería is hard bc there’s really not that much info out there right now, but i compile as many good brujeria posts i find on my acc.
@brujeria-n-bongs great for catholic brujeria, now at @Upliftherbs on instagram
@brujeria-lost @barberwitch @reina-morada @highbrujita
@naomi121406 is by far the most active and informative tumblr resource ive found, shes an afro-indigenous diaguita curandera from argentina so shes also really helpful if ATRs are in your path!
Im not black myself and dont follow ATRs so i don’t really know many good blogs for afrolatine brujxs out there but if anyone would like to tag some in the replies thatd be awesome!
instagram: Ive found that instagram #brujeria tags has a pretty healthy active stream of posts. You’re gonna have to sift through a lot of them to get to the good stuff though- imo a lot of hispanics use the brujería tag not to mean “latine brujería” but just the spanish word for witchcraft, so a lot of white hispanics will put wicca/neo witchcraft in the tag. imo that’s really not something i’m personally interested in bc it’s not true to brujeria’s traditional nature, is very white/eruropean , and that wicca shit basically just got here. its a relatively a recent thing😭 so i try to stick to bruja accounts that aren’t influenced by that.
youtube: The youtube brujería tag is hit or miss? and again, contains a lot of wicca. But there are some good practitioners on there like The Mexican Witch! You just gonna look around, and dont be afraid to click on videos by really really small youtubers; they often are the ones with the most informative and legit things to say!
Everyone’s path as a bruja/o/x (sjdf trying to be inclusive w gendered language is difficult) is different but here are some topics i think are great to look into as a beginner!
ancestors: start at the bottom and figure out who they are, where theyre from, and set up an altar. it’ll help you a lot with figuring out your identity and path as a bruja later on.
setting up a grimoire
divination: tarot is actually what got me into brujeria at first! tarot isnt strictly traditional and is european in itself but its a wonderful tool for connecting to dieties, saints, etc as well as super fun and helps a lot with introspection
ritual abrecaminos, aka road opening spells!
amarres (love spells... proceed with caution)
limpias, mal de ojo
saint work: even if you’re not catholic (im ex catholic), a growing number of us (especially lgbt latines like @/upliftherbs on instagram) are starting to take back and decolonize our view of saints like La Virgen Maria and removing her from the rigid european/colonized interpretation thats been forced into us
candle spells in general (i fucking love candles tbh, cheap, easy, fun, and WORKS)
spiritual colognes, how to cleanse
finally, here are some helpful posts yall should definitely read and think about moving forward!
about using tumblr as a resource
about looking into brujeria as a part-white part latine
bruja psa + about reclaiming lost indiginety
honestly naomi’s entire brujeria tag is great and super informative for beginners and basically holds answers for almost anything at this point
hope this post helps yall out!
EDIT: oh lord now that this is posted the outline format i tried to use is all kinds of fucked up please dont mind the odd numbering lmfao tumbr hates organized formats
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New Rules, an overly long review
Alright, let’s do this.
I’ll just start with a little disclaimer that english is not my first language and although I’m usually fluent-ish some of my sentences might not translate very well from french, so please bear with me. Also this i like barely edited so sorry about the mistakes.
I’m here to talk about my favorite fanfiction, not only in this fandom, but in all fandom (and trust me, I’m a part of a lot of fandoms), and of all the fanfictions I’ve ever read (and trust me I’ve read a lot) : New Rules by the amazing @tayegi
The first time I read, I binge read it, but make no mistake, I don’t mean that I rushed though the story in one day, oh no, I mean I couldn’t do anything else, every minute of my day that I wasn’t in class or adulting, I was reading it, but it’s one of those rare fictions where I knew I was reading something just that good that I needed to make it last as much as possible. Imagine my struggle, balancing the need to know what was going to happen next and my visceral need to make it last as much as possible because I knew I could never experience this first reading again.
That’s how much I love this story.
Unfortunetaly, there came a time I caught up.
So I re-read it.
Again.
And Again.
To this day, I often come back to it, re-reading entirely or picking up at any point to enjoy again a moment that I particularly like. I do this often with fiction I particularly liked, but one thing that I find amazing with NR is that, contrary to most fic, no matter where I pick up, I know what is happening, what happened before that, because the plot is just so wonderfully crafted that everything has consequences, every character is relevant and their actions have consequences that they are held accountable to by the plot (dunno is this makes sense but it does in my native language sorry) I regret not posting a review under every chapter as I read, it was selfish on my part, but I needed to continue, I have some notes from this review at the end but they lack the specificity of first impressions, I apologize for that.
I also have to mention that this review is NOT spoiler free so if you want to read it please, PLEASE New Rules before that there is absolutely NO way that you won’t thank me (and Tayegi of course) afterwards, and don’t ‘I don’t mind spoilers’ me this story DESERVES to be read spoiler free.
Alright, buckle up kiddos, let’s do this.
I. The writing
The way the plot unveils is downright cathartic. I recently re-read it entirely to make this review and going back to the first chapters and seing how everything just MAKES SENSE and how a small thing happening has consequences over everything later. Just HUH brilliant. (I’m thinking about OC’s crush on Jimin here and how through the prism of Mijoo we later see that her crush was her projecting // Jin, now THAT’S WRITING)
The smut, how do I put it, is bomb but it doesn’t feel like smut smut, it feels like actual sex described, not idealized and in my opinion it just adds to the quality of the story, because sex is an essential part of the story, not something added to satiate the hormones of horny readers (as an ex-horny teenager, I want to thank people writing this kind of smut and say that there is nothing wrong with writing this kind of smut) or just for the sake of it because apparently having sex is the culminating point of a relationship. Sex scenes tell a story as much as argument scenes, if not more. First, because as a sex friends to lover AU (smh) it is inherently part of the story but also because the characters don’t just stop having a backstory, emotions and emotional baggage when they have sex, all those things are still present and they influence the way they act in bed. And THAT is satisfying to read.
On many occasions, in the fanfic writing community, you can hear (read?) people saying, « this fiction could / should be published like an actual book » I’m not here to further the debate on real literature, fanfiction and so what not, but this fiction is one that, more importantly than it being published, I feel like I could study in english class, take an extract and study the amazing characterization, how the scene furthers the plot, what are the literary devices used to do so. I feel like I could study the running metaphors, the sub plots and how they correlate so well to the main plot and further the characterization of a character, the plot itself or something else. Everything feels like a neatly knitted masterpiece.
In that aspect, one scene that I particularly liked was the one where OC is hidden listening to JK and Hyejin, and as she hears what he says, she crushes the rose in her hand. It’s such a simple and yet telling idea: her bourgeoning love and hope for a romantic relationship symbolized by the ultimate romantic symbol : a rose, and JK’s words make her try and crush those feelings, but she hurts herself doing so, because the action itself is a painful one — trying to refrain hope / trying to suffocate feelings — but also because love, just like roses has thorns that may hurt, that’s why JK is so afraid of committing it seems, and the irony is that he is doing exactly that to someone else. (My explanation is so messy plfnmesdmflfmqf sorry)
One recurring idea/plot device that I have noticed is the one of misunderstanding / misreading each others. OC and JK constantly misread each others (I’m thinking about the scene in the bar where she rubs his back affectionately and he interprets it in a sexual way) and idk but something about this really hits me hard, because it’s human, so inherently human, this makes the characters feel like human beings not fictional archetypes. Because in real life, we can’t take a step back and have a view of the bigger picture the way we can as an omniscient reader who remembers very well what one said or did earlier that explains their behavior. In real life we dont know and cannot guess why people act a certain way based on some hinted at tragic backstory that would explain their commitment issues.
On a lighter note, the writing is just so freaking FUNNY, like I can’t count how many times I cackled like an idiot reading. + Tayegi has a way of cutting from scenes to scenes or from dialogue to dialogue that is just so FUNNY (if it was a movie I would talk about editing because it’s exactly how it feels, like when you got A saying ‘I will never do that’ and it cuts and the next frame is A doing exactly that)
More on the writing in the notes for every chapter further below.
II. Feminism, social justice and me relating to everything
Ok this part is going to be a bit more personal but I had to address how much main girl and her struggles resonated with me. As a feminist myself I VERY often struggles with the same problem : that is when my beliefs come brutally crashing with the social constructs I have internalized and have yet to deconstruct as well as the people surrounded me who don’t necessarily share the same belief. And the way Tayegi portrayed this is spot on not to say borderline genius.
Her mixed feelings when facing Hoseok « not like other girls » comments or the conversation where she struggles to explain why she is fucking the notorious fuckboy despite her talks about hook-up culture were punches in the guts to me, because feminists are always the ones to be criticized the most easily (I am aware that my phrasing here is horrendous but I don’t know how to word this differently again sorry English is not my native language) and the slightest slip-up will be pointed at by people who aren’t even feminist but see an easy way to gaslight them. So, to read this, to read another woman facing the same situations and being as utterly upset and sometime powerless as I felt, god was it cathartic.
And don’t get me started on the way she always ALWAYS sticks by her principles of sorority, even to the women that have been nothing less than mean to her and how hard it is to support other women when we live in a society that always pit women against each others. I FELT that. But nevertheless main girl tries to, she compliments Somin on her dress, Hiejin as well even though they both have been openly hostile (and even mean sometimes) to her. I truly felt this, all theses little moments, just a sentence here and there, but I felt them in my guts.
III. The characters
The characters, oh god, the characters. OC ? Marry me. JK? Marry me (also I want to slap him but it’s another story). Taehyung ? Marry me. Mijoo? Marry me.
The relationship between OC and her BFF is in my opinion one of the best thing about the pic and one that really remarks it from other, the twist about twist alsmot made me believe it would be like every other pic where oc ends up with virtually no friend (especially female ones because like everyone know girls cause drama riiiight ) but it happens so early ? How could it ooooh it’s not like that, OC and her BFF and mature enough to discuss it, it still has consequences, the scene where OC accuses BFF of pushing her onto Jk to make herself feel better about jimmy still gives me chills because, yeah, it makes sens that she would, and it kinda feels like she did with how insistant she has been, but again, we are told the story from OC’s perspective, so obviously she feels bad when BFF insists that her and JK are meant to be bc she knows that JK wouldn’t date her, but again, as readers, we can kinda see from BFF perspective, they indeed look perfect for one another and only misunderstanding and insecurities and Jk’s past seems to be in the way (okay granted when you say it like that it seems like a lot), but in the end, Mijoo also seems genuine in the way she pushes them together, even though, yeah she might have, consciously or not done it for that reason.
i don’t know if I want a happy ending for OC and JK, I want one because they are so good and sweet together and after everything they’ve been through I feel like they sort of deserve it, but after everything they’ve been through, especially the way JK has behaved, it seems hard for a happy ending to happen. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of time and talking (including his backstory that has been hinted at a few times wink wink) for them to work things out, if they work things out.
I’ve mentioned that before but : THE SORORITY oh lord where do I start? OC standing up for Hyejin and Somin even when they had a few rough patches, sign me the fuck UP. OC not turning totally on her best friend Mijoo (my girl btw) and overlooking their friendship and what she had done for her in the time of Jin because Mijoo made a selfish mistake ? Yes please, MORE.
Hoseok is, in my opinion, spot ON. It took me some time to exactly pin point who he reminded me of but then I realized he is exactly what I call the 'apolitical guy’, who is convinced to not have controversial opinion and would deny ever having prejudice when he clearly has (i.e. the scene where Oc calls him out on his misogynie
I have to admit that Hyejin and Somin are amongst my favorites because even though the plot (and the fact that we are basically supposed to be on OC’s side as the story is told from her perspective) makes them very unsympathetic, your writing allows us to understand their actions and empathize with them. Learning about Hyejin’s past with JK makes her look like the character of a fan fiction where she could have been the main character unfortunately for her, this is OC’s story so Hyejin can’t get the guy in the end. But truly, her backstory feels like an entire other ff in the story and to be honest basically every other character’s backstory as well as the subplots feel this way. And Somin, well Somin is basically going through the same thing as OC but with Hoseok so how can we mock her for it while crying for OC ? That’s impossible and that’s why your writing is so powerful, there is no clear ‘bad guy’ (appart from J*n but who cares about that roquefort face) and everyone is in that gray, humane area.
Every character has so many layer (I don’t count JK and OC in this because at this point we can’t talk about layers anymore it’s a damn millefeuille) and getting to discover more about them is amazing.
Basically, every side character reflects something on OC and JK and further the plot, the themes while feeling like their own individuals with their own complex thoughts and problems and I think that’s fucking brilliant.
And now onto my notes for every chapter (it’s low-key very messy sorry)
Chapter 1 :
Lord to thing that it started with a simple friend request :’)
I love how in the very first line, OC telling Mijoo how she knows JK instantly characterizes him to the reader, it’s smart BUT also characterize OC as someone quick witted and serious/professional but also very sarcastic, funny and taking no shit from anyone. Incipit done well here. I mean, so much exposition is crammed into the very first lines but it just feels soooo natural!
I also love how the dynamic between Mijoo and OC can appear « basic » but will later be revealed to be so much more complex and profound and that’s basically how everything in this fic just keep getting better and more complex as you read.
Also, I love how OC and JK’s first encounter is because they are both trying to help their best friends, I missed it in the first reading but it’s so telling of their characters. Also I appreciate OC not hating on JK just because she hates him from afar and he suddenly notices her and gets turned on by that (like in a lot of ff let’s not lie, I love myself some bad boy!AU but it’s getting redundant), she genuinely seems to not give a fuck about him and it’s so funny to me somehow, my girl just minding her business, getting her straight A’s and doing charity work, we stan. Also, the entire part where they complain about Jimin and Mijoo is downright hilarious
I really like the way JK says the poetry assignment is easy, hinting at the fact that he is, in fact, not a stupid fuckboi cliché (+ what happens with their presentation and him working his BUTT of)
The entire part where OC and Jk act like they are together is so DAMN FUNNY but at the same time it just shows that they have great chemistry from the get go and I love that. (But seriously it’s so f*ing funny)
I love they way OC’s crush on Jimin is brought up, it’s not outwardly said, but the way he is described form her pov makes it obvious and her helplessness when looking at him and Mijoo is just so heartbreaking (+ getting to me on a personal level since I’ve been in a very similar situation for years so :))) like, you can feel that she doesn’t want to be feeling this way, and is obviously trying to help her BFF and be selfless but cannot help but feel jealousy.+ JK immediately catching up on her crush, showing he is more observant than you’d think.
JK and OC being dumb & dumber AND partner in crime is everything I’ve ever wanted
The description of the feeling of loneliness post-parties is so accurate, and the way she feels is so relatable and heartbreaking.
The part about anguish and the way she feels suffocated by her feminine attire got to me and honestly I got really close to cryingThe end of the chapter upsets me in the best way, to see JK be so oblivious to how vulnerable and lonely OC is, man it really makes the entire thing so much more gutswrenching.
Highlights (basically lines that made me laugh or that I find particularly well written) :
“then I don’t know why he’s friended you”
“should I block him too?”
“can you get you get more obvious without tattooing ‘Park Jimin’ on your ass? It’s obvious he owns it anyways”
“why does this kid has so many shirtless selfies”
“it’s like this boy is like a walking cliché of the world’s most basic fuckboi” I see what you did here ;)))
“Ah… you knew?” The way I laugh EVERY time at this line
“Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?“ alkfnenfmefnkgjh Mijoo is my queen
“try her ass instead” JK you absolute moron genius
“Mijoo as been trying to get you laid since freshman” I looove how this just sounds so random and plays into the cliché of the extroverted BFF trying to drag OC to parties and get her laid but with OC’s backstory // Jin it makes SO much more sense
“I won’t feed you lies” he, said, you know, like a liar.
“Your worth as a woman isn’t defined by your purity or whatever bullshit” love the hint at the later reveal that JK is, indeed, a woke king. We stan
“But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.” God that part....
“Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you… ... He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled” This is what I mean when I say that the smut in this story makes SENSE
“You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.” The way this scene is supposed to be all smut sexy time but it is actually one of the most emotionally packaged and heart wrenching scene, really I can’t with your writing </333
“He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?“Jk you manipulative mf I hate your fuckboi ass
"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace. "I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy." The dynamic of the entire duo summed up in one paragraph
Chapter 2 :
The moment she reassures Mijoo and see what she is missing is :((
I remember than the first time I read new rules and feminist JK came clean I was honestly shocked (years of being guarded around men’s misoginy and fake feminism I guess) but re-reading it, it’s so nice to see the hints everywhere that he genuinely is and it warms my heart.
The convo JK and OC have about relationships and meaningless sex is not only such a good foreshadowing of the problems they will face later when it comes to coming clean about both their feelings (looking at you JK you moron) but also such a relatable feeling of ‘I know I said men are trash but I’m still vaguely heterosexual and would really like to believe that some aren’t and I know it sounds like I’m reassuring myself and honestly I am because it’s starting to become hard to really believe that’
The twits oh god the TWIST!!! The heartbreak it gave me, I was going to put some sentences in the highlights but honestly I almost ended up putting the entire scene so I gave in but it’s just so well written and nerve wracking to see what could have been and to realize that the friend that OC has been putting so much effort into helping betrayed her. Like, I can emphasis enough how much I cried reading this, considering I have been in a very similar situation, and that’s probably why this struck a chord so powerfully but wow.
The blowjob scene is simply another brilliant double meaning smut scene, the way OC is trying to regain control over something, someone, even if it’s not the one she wants, the way she makes him beg to hear compliments, heartbreaking (I know I’ve said this word like a million time and we’re just on chapter 2 but your writing really is something else)
The scene where she confronts Mijoo is in my opinion one of the BEST I have ever read, the way you can feel her heartbreak and her powerlessness but also the maturity she exudes, the way she tries to be the bigger person and do what’s right, lord I see myself here and it fucking hurts.
“He really likes you, Mijoo. Don’t let him slip away… You’ll only regret it.” The double meaning that applies to OC here is killing me
“On any other day, this is the kind of party you would protest, running around with a half dozen other of your feminist friends as you collect signatures for a boycott.” <3
“Wait… what makes you think that we’re supposed to be the hoes?” <3 <3
“Yeah. You really do.” Jk sometimes I really like you
“No, sweetheart. You’re the childish one for not being able to accept grown up emotions. Why is falling in love and caring for someone outside of their physical appearance so shameful to you? You need to grow the fuck up and realize that feeling for another human being does not make you weak.”<3 <3 <3
“Frat brothers are despicable…except this one, of course.” Absolutely love how first reading makes it sound like her crush is speaking and second reading shows her idealization of him here
“You swallow the lump in your throat. It would be one thing to see them wildly making out or grinding in the mosh pit like all the other horny kids. But to see them so enveloped in each other, content to just hug for the rest of the night… It hurts you more than you can express. You’d rather walk in on them fucking. This display of the purest affection… No one has ever held you like that before.You’re jealous. It’s shameful how horrendously jealous you are.”</3
“You need me?” you repeat in a small voice.” OC baby I get you I love you and you deserve th world ;(( </3
“You feel like such a villain, grilling this angel and making her upset. It’s such an irritating feeling, but you can’t choke it back.“It’s not like I liked him anyways…” Lord what have you done to my heart and I think it’s my favorite sentence in the entire story !
Chapter 3 :
OC protecting and looking out for Yerin is just so adorable I CAN’T
The discussion with Hyejin, the foreshadowing!!!!!!!
The way OC is self-aware and thinks JK only wants her body (and at the time it was highly likely) just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking, which makes me realize that all the smut scene up until now have been that way.
The entire chapter feels like a BIG call out to me thanks for that I guess. (I’m kidding it was wonderful and actually got me reflecting a lot on my habits and self deprecation)
“the ugly cage around your heart loosen a bit”
“Wow, your fungal cream is so nice. I hope you get that infection checked out." We love a considerate and caring man
“You would take this over the hollowness in your chest. You would gladly take the meaningless sex, the hard pounding of your pussy without a single gesture of affection. Who needs an emotional connection when you can have the pain beat out of you? Who needs someone to like you when you have someone to use you?” No words.
Chapter 4 :
I don’t know if I said that already but I just looooove the way you sprinkle hints here and here about everything ! Foreshadowing events and future revelations it’s just so nice to read and makes second (and third, and fourth) reading sooooo much more entraining and satisfying <3333. Like Oc and Mijoo are drunk and we get a snip at what happened freshman year, there were other hints previously but this just makes the reader WANT to know what the f* went down. And it makes up for Mijoo betrayal, it’s a nice way of explaining why OC « brushed » over her betrayal, we know that she was there in such a hard time for OC and yes it really builds the suspense around that whilst portraying Mijoo as more than the fake BFF who betrayed, I love that.
I love the way you use the word ‘ugly’ and how it’s very often associated with jealousy.
I want to address how much I adore your side characters and sub-plots. Like all of them are so likable (even Somin) and feel like genuine people with their own complex thoughts, seriously your characterization is out of this world! (special shout-out to Yoongi who is spot-ON imo). Like, I want to hangout with these people and be their friends.
ALso I feel like we are really starting to see Jk and OC’s chemistry (unrelated to being evil little matchmaker) and it’s SOOOOOO good, it feels so natural and seeing them slowly slide into a romantic relationship (don’t tell Jk) seems like the most natural thing (+ everyone thinking they are actually together and honestly they are)
"Hey so you like kick around a ball or whatever?" I love your humor I genuinely laughed at this
"Balls?" he says pointedly.” Same here
"Who are you talking about?" Jungkook asks in confusion, "I don't have a—ah you mean ___?" You sure didn’t think for long jk 👀👀and you didn’t even deny it 👀👀👀and you came as soon as being asked 👀👀👀👀👀👀sus
"Beats me," he whispers back, "I didn't even know we had a soccer team until this week!"LMAOOOOOOOOO
Chapter 5 :
The foreshadowing with Bang telling JK he is worried about his performance !! That’s why I love this fic so much! EVERYTHING is here, nothing happens out of the blue, you just have to pay attention to things to see things coming and not in a predictable but rather gratifying way.
The scene where OC hugs JK ? a masterpiece. I don’t know what more to say about it, it’s one of those things that touch on such a level that deconstructing it feels impossible and would break the spell, the intimacy I felt between the two of them and the stark contrast with Hyejin are perfect to characterize their relationship. Feels natural behind closed doors but lacking the words to clarify what they are, especially when faced with other people, and themselves. I L O V E it.
“you watch Taehyung roll around in the grass with his high-tech camera” don’t know why this is so funny to me but it is
"Are we not speaking the same language right now?!" Jungkook barks into the receiver, "Are you fucking high?" The fact that he barks it makes it even funnier
Chapter 6 :
Oc’s conversation with Taehyung about hookup culture (and her behavior at large) just SCREAM ‘I have had such a terrible experience with love before that I cannot even begin to think about letting it happen again otherwise I will never love again’ and it HURTS. But! The way she approaches things with such maturity and is so in touch with her feelings is simply admirable.
When OC is caught between Hoseok and JK at the party !!! It’s so frustrating but in the best way possible because they got soooo close to actually talking things out clearly and making things better but their pride and whatever got in the way and we know it! JK and Oc I love y’all but also you’re so stupid. (Also it’s exactly what I was talking about in my ‘misunderstanding each others’ part. I feel like this is during this chapter that they really start to fuck up the communication because that’s the chapter where it becomes abundantly clear that feeeeelings are starting to get into the mix, they both try to distract themselves (unconsciously or not) with someone else, HYejin and Hoseok, and miserably fails.
Also the domesticity!! That’s cute and fluffy and I’m blushing like I’m 12 year old again.
“You’re right, » he says « I have to get more creative” I have said that Taehyung is hands down the funniest character here ?
"I want someone to choose me," you admit in a small voice, "I want someone to fall for my personality—to love me because of my hot temper and annoying disobedience, not in spite of it. I want this person to be surrounded by prettier, nicer, sweeter girls, but still seek me out… I'd rather them fall for my personality first, then settle for superficial traits like my lacking appearance… Is that really too much to ask?" Once again, thanks for calling me out also I’m crying this is one of the best paragraphs you have written
“He's like a character from a 1950's romance novel stepped off the page” Oc sweetheart remember something else about the 50’s 👀👀 Like ... the sexism ?
“The moon is high in the sky at this point of night, not shrouded by dark clouds for once, and illuminating the entire rooftop with its luminous silvery gleam. But for some reason, it seems like all the moonlight concentrates into a single beam on Hoseok, surrounding him in a brilliant white halo. You swallow tightly and drop your gaze as though burned.” The imagery here is beautiful and I like that you associated him with the moon when he is usually the sun
"Oh, honey… You don't have to pretend to be strong in front of me." And there goes my heart.
"Did you think I was going to let her sleep on the streets or something?" is his sarcastic reply.You roll your eyes, "Thanks, Yoongi." We love character development (their friendship is so endearingly funny)
"Right… But um… what happened after the game on Saturday… uh…" A blush suddenly suffuses his cheeks, coloring his skin a lovely shade of rose, "I… I just wanted to—""Ah, that's right. There's another game next week," you hastily steer the conversation away, terrified by what he might say. "Don't worry, I'll be there too. I really need to start writing this article.""Oh, right… That's exactly what I was going to say," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.” I want to slap some sense in these idiots’ heads
"Yeah, but the problem is that I don’t want to." I am S C R E E C H I N G
Chapter 7 :
The scene where they wake up together and he smiles and calls her pretty and the misunderstanding scene makes me want to slap them you belated idiots
SO MUCH things happen in this chapter and I think it’s one of my favorite!! I have to say that the scene where OC protests against the date auction and faces the resistance of her sorority hit close to home. It’s always so heartbreaking to see fellow girls complying to sexism.
Also also, feminist JK keeps me up at night. Fuck yeah. (You know the lisa simpson meme with the orange juice, that’s me with feminist JK, give me MORE of that.
Also, her performance : I C O N I C
"You're just exclusive fuck buddies… Even though you don't do casual sex and Jungkook doesn't do exclusive. It totally doesn't feel like you're hiding your feelings." My thought exactly Mijoo
“Staying so guarded might protect you from pain… But it'll also protect you from any happiness." *Slow clapping*
“Why would you go for someone who doesn't see your worth? You deserve to be with someone picks you out in a sea of people. Who likes you the best." 👀👀👀
"…Do not resuscitate… Got it," you solemnly note.” You’re so funnyykekzldk
“You aggressively bid from backstage, even as Taehyung motions for you to get lost” I laughed out loud at this
« sold » HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIfhehfqenfoneqlfnqdkfncqefnlmzfkbnrdbfksvm kjnefkenfe hAAAAH ????!!! flefnekf HIIII ç!!!!ç!uj
Chapter 8 :
I’m sorry there is not much commentary about this one but I can for the life of me read it with a critical eye since I’m too caught up in the suspense and the fact that a million things are happening, the only thing I can think about is that your fiction, although it is a college AU is so versatile and you touch on so many other genre (here : sport) and manage to successfully make every single one enthralling and further your plot!
“Maybe if I had lost, you would've hugged me again." HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJZKELMLDIZPEKDLEBDLLDKKEJ
"Please, ___. Please don't go."But sheer panic flashes in his eyes when you attempt to shake him loose. "Don't leave me," he croaks out in desperation, "Please, ___. Don't leave me…"Not like she did." Don’t think I’m not seeing what you’re doing here 👀👀
Chapter 9 :
I feel high-key stupid because that’s like the 6th time I read New rules but I just realized that there might be a parallel going on between Jk and OC’s story, it’s obvious with the hints that you’ve sprinkled that something bad happened with JK’s past girlfriend but it’s just now re-reading Oc’s backstory with Jin that I realize that JK might have been in the ‘fucking around to get back/over his ex’ stage of his breakup like OC in the summer Freshman year, which led to him having his fuckboy reputation despite not ‘really’ being one (i.e. him saying that he hates hookup culture when Oc talks about her story)
Also, empathetic, feminist and understanding men make me w*t.
"Yes," he says, a smile tugging at his lips, "Yes, you did." I sEE YOU
"I don't know what goes through that fantastical imagination of yours” This might be my favorite line ever
“But you don't move one inch. Because you know Jungkook better than that.” Aaaawwwwwwww
Chapter 10 :
This is some greek tragedy shit right here. Mijoo trying to push OC and Jk because she feels guilty about JImin (she way you write it makes it seem so believable but I can’t decide if it’s true or not because we are seeing Oc’s perspective here and she knows she actually crushed on Jimin while Mijoo doesn’t, which would be a huge factor in her pushing OC towards JK) and also because she is the only one with a brain? Oc refusing to believe it and opposing semi-logical semi-bullshit arguments to convince Mijoo and even more herself that this isn’t happening because she heard JK talking to Hyejin ? Jk saying that because he’s an insecure asshole (and also very probably because of his ex girlfriend wink wink) whilst acting like the most belated man, ever ? Na a TRAGEDY!!!!!
Also, the entire speech that Mijoo gives, everything she says ???? A punch to the GUTS! ! !
THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY CONSTANTLY THINK THE WRONG THING I WANT TO TIE THEM TO A CHAIR AND FORCE THEM TO ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (in a oh god HOW are they going to fix this and finally come to an understanding of each other kind of way)
He finally breathes when she says his name I’m :(((((((((
“it wasn’t fun” Love how this simple line implies that Mijoo and Jimin have problems and arguments of their own and makes them feel like human beings who have a life outside of the story.
“Or was your image of him so perfect and unrealistic that you couldn't tolerate these humanizing details?" Ouch!
"You're only pushing Jungkook on me to ease your guilt for stealing Jimin away from me!" I don’t have the words to explain the way I felt when I first read this line except : oh fuck. Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps.
"I like him," you abruptly confess, your soft voice breaking through the tense silence the same way the brilliant meteors abruptly burst across the darkness of night. "I like him so much." Masterpiece
“It's equally horrifying and an absolute relief to finally admit this deeply harbored secret after so long. After all these months of repression, it feels like a dam has burst with the way your emotions come tumbling out, threatening to choke you and sweep you underwater.” I said MASTERPIECE ! !
“Mijoo," you gasp, "What do I do?" Im crying. This isn’t a figure of speech. This isn’t an exaggeration. I’m crying. This entire scene is so powerful
“You know your role. You're just the side character—the best friend or comic relief. You have no right to even dream about a life by Jungkook's side—much less to feel this amount of pain and jealousy seeing him with another girl” .... talk about being relatable
“The loud electronic beat is pulsing through your veins with the same painful intensity of the tequila beating against the soft tissue of your brain. You feel like you’re being consumed by the powerful sensations… and yet, it's not enough to protect you from the helpless thoughts drifting across your mind, no matter how much you try to ward them back.” You really shine when it comes to making me cry
"Can't you just let me be petty and sulk for once?" Baby :(
“How could you have misinterpreted the situation so horrifically?” Well we have this saying in French that goes : love makes you fucking blind
“At this point of night, the moon has fully risen overhead, and its silvery rays cast down across the ocean, illuminating everything in white-gold. Awed, you can't help admiring the way the moonbeams kiss the top of Jungkook's black hair and the angles of his face, sheathing his figure like a cold halo.The waves continue to beat against the sandy beach like clockwork, and you sway with them, as though lost in a rhythmic dance lulled by the force of the moon. Your thundering pulse acts as a metronome in this dance, pounding away at a dozen beats per each drag across the shore. You are cold. So cold that you've lost all feeling in your hands and legs. But for some reason, you don't feel the need to shiver anymore.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
“Could it have possibly been a defense mechanism? Was he just trying to protect himself in advance?” We are making PROGRESS
"Why is everything about sex with you?" HE SAID! AS IF HE WANS’T ABOUT TO DO WHAT HE IS AVOUT TO DO AND MAKE IT ABOUT SEX I HATE THIS MF
Chapter 11 :
My heart is non existent.The way Oc swallows her feelings to protect Yerin and stands up for her ❤️
I want to thank you for introducing a gay character in your story also Yoongi is one of the most interesting character in the story.
The way everything is slowly coming to a conclusion and every piece of the puzzle settles in the right place is so damn satisfying UGH
The scene where OC confronts Jk is so fucking satisfying, a masterpiece, 10/10, everything I wanted to hear come out of her mouth, my girl knows what’s up and won’t let this fucker get away with it.
"I've told you since day one that I'm not that kind of guy. God, can you even imagine me in a relationship?" he says with a derisive snort that feels like a punch to your stomach, "Did you honestly think that you could trap me into one with sex, ___? Or with a kiss? Come on. Get real." Your insecurities are showing asshole
"I hope you get over this soon, ___," he tells you in a sincere tone, "So we can get back to the way things were." Fight me in a parking lot salopard de merde
“Well, at least you've learned your lesson now.” I had to take a pause after this part
"What if they were my parents?" he asks in a quiet voice, "My siblings? My community back home? The people I love most in this world? What would you have me do then?" As a closeted bisexual this one hit close to home
“But Yoongi turns to you with an incredulous look, "You can't be serious. Anyone with eyes could tell that Kook is completely whipped for you. Where is this coming from?” Yoongi is my man
"You're a fucking coward." My thoughts exactly
Chapter 12 :
Getting through this chapter without crying is genuinely hard..All the girls standing up for themselves and not taking shit for the shitty men in their lives ???? YES PLEAse. And thank you for not only that but also including the girls that the story pushed us not to like that much up until now like Hyejin and Somin when really they were going through the same things as the holy trinity of best girls OC, Mijoo and Yerin.
I have… mixed feelings and I feel like these feelings are exactly what OC has been feeling all along with the conflict between her beliefs and her heart. I wanted them to go through this and by being « willing » JK would have eventually just realized everything and stuff because I love romance and shit. But I also want OC to get what she deserves, and it’s not that. I want them to have this happy ever after end but I feel like we won’t get that before long because as Hyejin pointed out, JK clearly needs to grow the fuck up.
"Oh, ___," she sighs your name.” Don’t mind me I’ll be crying over there
“For a split second, you consider feigning ignorance. It would be so damn easy to laugh along with him and continue living this lie of being the cool, sporty tomboy who doesn't care about stupid "girly" things. After all, Hoseok isn't a bad guy. He's so handsome, popular, and kind. And he likes you. Someone actually likes you. Isn't that better than being alone? For a split second, you're tempted to grab his hand and flash him an award-winning smile. For a split second, you contemplate giving up all your morals and living a life of comfort with this lovely, charismatic man.” I love you so much for writing this
"Sexist?" he repeats in horror, "The fuck are you talking about?! I'm no sexist!" You’ve perfectly channeled the and OC’s entire speech to him should be taught in school
"We're just in different places right now," you inform him in a small voice, "It'll never work out, so please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I’m dying but also proud, producing
"I think I'll channel Somin and cut the toxicity out of my life." Attagirl
To wrap up this overly long review, I want to say thank you to Tayegi for writing this piece and feeling generous enough to share it with us, reading this story and seeing the plot unravel, characters be introduced and developed was a true privilege. I rarely connect with the « reader » in reader fics and just say a random name in my head (or even 'your name ») but here, here… Never have I been so close to actually feeling like I’m the one in the fiction, not for the romance but for the way she is portrayed, for her ideas and how hard it is to stand by them sometimes, for her past and traumas. New rules is a masterpiece, and the fact that I connected to it on such a personal level, which, arguably could cloud my judgement, doesn’t make it any less.
#BTS jungkook#jeon jungkook#jeongguk#jungkook#jk#bts fanfic#fanfic review#New rules#god I finally finished this#I feel strangely nostalgic because I read this ff when I was in a really bad place and it resonated with me on so many levels#like it brought me comfort and to finish this feels like closure even though it's not even finished#it's like finishing harry potter all over again gosh#please read it :(((#I never see Tayegi and her amazing work in people pic recs and like recommandations it makes so sad she is the most talented person#I have been a silent reader for too long it was my way of compensating for that#Tayegi if you're reading this tags don't stress over updating this isn't about making you post faster this is me thanking you
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THIS IS POST 2: CHARACTERS WHO HAVE SOME STORYLINES AND PLOTS ALREADY BUT AREN’T NEARLY AS ESTABLISHED AS THEY COULD BE. THEIR PLOTS WILL INCLUDE MORE LOOKING FOR LOVE AND MESSINESS BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE AS MANY COMMITMENTS AS THE ONES IN POST ONE.
MILES
the only carmichael boy who is officially single from his household. i feel like this has definitely caused his mum to push her attention on to him, particularly because he lives at home. she definitely wants him to settle down with somebody and at the moment, he fake dates arabella to keep her happy but there’s more i can get out of this. SOOOOOOO...
- HIS PLANNED GIRLFRIEND/WIFE: this was charlie at one point but she has more with leo now so it doesn’t really make sense. somebody from a wealthy family who his parents wanted him to end up with. maybe they’re constantly pushing them together but the two of them HATE each other with a passion and do everything they can to mess up their parents plans. - FWB: he’s been in the shadows for quite a while which isn’t a surprise given how much leo, mason and brody have going on. but, now he’s getting a bit older, i think he’d be more confident in himself and i can totally see him hooking up after events and stuff and having a few fwb. it’d be cool if these had different dynamics too like unrequited crushes/people using him for fame etc. - MALE FRIENDSHIPS: he’d definitely hang out with people in his family’s circle but also people who are different and come from different walks of life. as a general rule, he’s chill and not big on aesthetics and appearances if that helps anybody!
NATE
HE’S LIKE MY 2021 DALLAS AND THAT’S THE DIRECTION I WANT TO MOVE HIM IN. he’s a rising star in terms of his music and also has a minor acting and modelling career. he definitely gets the right amount of hype too so i think he’s the best choice out of my new guys to really give like the whole ‘rising star’ thing. i have QUITE A FEW ideas for him bc i’m excited!
SIDE NOTE: him and imogen aren’t officially end game. like they might be? but what i’m trying to say is me and nadine haven’t plotted anything like that. their official plot is that they were dating behind charlie’s back when imogen was with charlie. now imogen isn’t w.charlie, they flirt and hook up but are p.toxic and argumentative.
- FWB/RUMOURED PARTNERS: this one goes w/o saying. i think i’m going to cap the plot at about 3 (not including imogen). maybe 3 different girls he’s linked with and has his own thing with. bonus points if one of these is a PR arrangement and it doesn’t go any deeper than public appearances. - SECRET SHARERS: so with his career getting bigger, i think he’d be more serious about keeping his secret which is basically back in high school, him and a few of his friends are responsible for leaving another guy in a coma (he’s still in it now) after they spiked his drink to stop him from exposing them for cheating their way into st judes. i need maybe 3 or 4 people who all had a hand in this but we can work it out together.
- FRIENDS/PEOPLE HELPING WITH HIS CAREER ETC.
EZRA
i’m kinda stuck with ezra. i have ideas but i dont know what the best way to execute them will be? so, he obviously has his son - nicolas - who is being raised by his mother atm. he’s natalie’s son; ezra and natalie were high school sweethearts but have gone their separate ways, they coparent as much as they can. this year ezra has got closer to madison and then felicity but in both relationships found they weren’t really satisfied with just him and flirted with others...so he’s kind of in a weird place. - PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP: maybe someone who knows all about his son and has helped ezra raise him/keeping it all a secret. it would be strictly platonic. i think she/he would be ezra’s best friend and they wouldn’t have any grey area. there’s no romantic feelings but the bond is strong.
- EX: in between natalie and then felicity/madison. maybe they broke up because he wanted to focus on nicolas and didn’t have enough time for their relationship but there’s still feelings there. i just want somebody who genuinely loved/wanted him at one point and doesn’t always find someone better :’) we could develop how things unravel in 2021.
LUKE
luke’s father is the head of film at st judes and he has a lot of pressure on his shoulders to do well. at the moment, he’s in his good books because he’s a key part of the harry potter movies which is really pushing him and boosting his profile. he’s very focused on his work but also wants to branch out and make more connections. he’s currently interested in athena but i want to dig into his past a little more. - EX FRIENDS/RIVALS: a friend that luke grew up with and they both went into acting, that’s when the friendship became toxic. they were always trying to outdo one another and it’s continued on to this day; they both have good careers but aren’t satisfied unless they’re doing slightly better than the other one; this can be m or f.
- HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND: he went to gallagher high school. i think it’d be interesting if they were dating and looked as if they’d be typical high school sweethearts. maybe the plan was to live in one of his parents place, get regular jobs and settle down but then he chose his career/st judes and broke it off because it got too serious too soon. bonus points if she still hasn’t fully let him go bc she truly did love him.
- COMPLICATED EX: an ex he dated at the beginning of st judes and it just got toxic very fast. maybe the reverse of his high school girlfriend - she fell out of love with him/was stringing him along and now there’s a lot of tension.
- WILDER FRIENDS: he’s very clean cut at the moment and has pressure to be a good example for others bc his dad is so linked to the academy, but maybe friends who tempt him to go out more and enjoy this time/make memories/do crazier things.
TAEWAN
ok ok i’m getting bored but for taewan, it’s very similar to luke. BTS are really going to be pushed to be the best next year and this is going to create both new and break old connections for him sooooooo take a look.
RIVALS/INDUSTRY ENEMIES - artists who work just as hard, if not harder, than BTS but don’t see half of the benefits with advertisement and getting prime performance spots at award shows. i think there’ll even be rumours than BTS buy some of their awards. he’d 100% have enemies by this time next year and would lowkey be sad about it bc he knows BTS are in the wrong, but also his career means too much to just admit it. P.R. GIRLFRIEND - a girl who’s a rising star too and he’s placed in a fake relationship to boost both of their profiles. it’d need to be a relationship where they clash and do not get along with one another bc i think that’d be fun. maybe they grow to like each other or be at least friends in the end but !!! the more tension the better tbh.
LOVE INTEREST/BEST FRIEND - i feel like he’d have one person who is currently his best friend and they’ve always kind of had feelings for each other...but now BTS are blowing up and management are getting involved with who he’s seen with and who he can be with, their friendship is breaking down massively and they’re drifting.
BRIELLE
brielle has just moved in with imogen and park and she’s been thrown into like, the world of old money and the richest family’s in violet springs. she’s experiencing so much new for the first time. imogen and her friends have kind of taken brielle under their wing & her life has kinda separated into two.
PEOPLE WHO KNOW HER FROM THE STRIP CLUB - i’ve literally been begging for this connection since i had her. her main source of income is stripping and dancing at a sketchy club in london. i’d love to have someone who sees her regularly and even pays for her to perform for their. i feel like it could either be they become infatuated with her through it OR they lowkey do it as blackmail to make the point that they’ve always got something over her. OLD FRIENDSHIPS - people who have NO connection to the richer families and are friends with brielle from before. they know about her getting closer to imogen and the hamiltons and brielle is almost like their eyes on the inside, and they meet up and just gossip about everything that brielle has experienced. maybe one of these friends get a little jealous at some point and accuses her of forgetting who her real friends are/changing? NEW FRIENDSHIPS - people who DO have connections to that whole circle. maybe they get closer to brielle through events that she comes to with imogen OR they kind of mock her and treat her like an outcast. i definitely think she’d encounter some mean girls. ALSO new friends with benefits because why not! there’re so many possibilities. i’m just getting tired of typing LOL
YULIA
yulia currently lives in the home of the family she nannies for. this job funds her scholarship at st judes, but she tells everybody that those people are her parents and sisters. she gives off the impression that she was born rich and doesn’t mention her real family to anybody because she’s ashamed. she has a lot of self hatred when it comes to where she came from and is v.much continuing with ‘fake it ‘til you make it’.
GUYS SHE USES FOR PUBLICITY/MONEY - i think yulia wants nothing more than to be legitimately rich, so she’d be very picky about the guys she flirts with and gives her time too. she’s probably more determined to get a rich and famous boyfriend than she is about having a successful film career. her priorities are all over the place.
SOMEONE WHO HELPS HER CONTINUE HER LIE - maybe one or two friends who know she’s a nanny and they aren’t her family - but she doesn’t know that they know that. however, because they like her and/or feel bad for her, they play along and help her continue her lie.
ELOISE
eloise is the oldest calloway sister and even though she’s technically a “half” sister, she’s been raised with the other girls and is very close to them - especially zara. she’s the sensible one and often has the most level-head. she doesn’t take much shit but is also a hopeless romantic and loves to be in love. she really doesn’t have much at all right now so i could do with lots of different plots:
childhood friends, people who were like sisters to her when her real sisters weren’t.
an ex boyfriend and her first boyfriend. i feel like the break up would’ve hurt because she’s v attached to people
a close friend who has a ridiculously big crush on her atm; boy or girl idm! i feel like eloise wouldn’t know at first and maybe freak out when she finds out and we can see what happens from there
maybe friends/guys who have used her to get to her sister(s)
MARGO
MY BABYYYYYYY. margo is legit my favourite and thats saying a lot bc you guys know how much i love issy and hensley. she’s basically signed herself out of rehab and takes advantage of the fact that dallas is working SO hard to get everything done. she has a huge tendency to buy and drink her feelings away SOOOO.....
ENABLERS - i kind of want her to get in with ‘the wrong crowd’, and by that i mean like...people who don’t rly care that she’s an addict and want to have fun with her. i have a really specific connection in mind where they’re fwb but it’s no good for her; BUT she’s kind of easy and happy to have sex hjkl; so they just keep her on standby.
OTHER FWB - i really want her to just go through a massive sleeping around stage. i haven’t really found someone she ‘clicks’ with. she relies LOTS AND LOTS on park and even though they’re not romantic, he’s her safe space. but i think there’d be a lot of other people in her life who she gets different things from. some ideas could be excitement, or people who baby her, or someone who maybe cares a lot about her & its their only way of being in contact.
EX FRIENDS - friends who gave up on her after she went to rehab and became a mess. she’d hate them bc as tough as she acts, she HATES HATE HES being abandoned. that’s why she clings to park and disney sm, bc she knows that they’ve been her friends since the beginning.
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hyeri, I just read your jihoon soulmate au series, and it just became my favorite soulmate au. seriously, this series is amazing. I found your blog a while ago, and I only got to looking at the masterlist now. while I was scanning over, the title of the series drew me in. I knew I had to read it. and I’m glad I did. first of all, I like the unique concept of the au. It’s different but very refreshing. the fact that it’s based of magic of sorts prompted a desire for me to read this more (1/?)
second, I love the way you write. it’s a change from what I usually read, but it makes the story more enchanting in a way. I feel like I’m in that story and I have that certain feel when I was reading. I was so immersed in the story that I completely lost track of time. it was that good. your description made me able to vividly imagine the scenes in my mind. it also provoked many emotions in me while I reading. I could feel the pain the MC had when she was arguing with her father. (2/?)
the irritation, the panic, the tension, I felt it all. seriously, your style of writing is one of the best I’ve seen. lastly, i love the MC. she is a big change from what I’ve been used to reading. she is fierce, self dependent, and brave. she has all the qualities I wish to have. I also felt like I could relate to her a lot regarding what’s she has been through, which did help with me empathizing with her throughout this story. (3/4)
overall, I am definitely impressed by this series and excited for the next parts of it. you really have captured my interest in this series. (4/4) sidenote: I didn’t expect my ask to span this long ;-; i should have put this in a reblog and I’m sorry for possibly annoying you by this.
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AAAAAHHHHHH YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH YOU TOTALLY MADE MY MORNING!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you 😭😭😭 this is so beautiful ��💖☺😍 it's totally ok if it's long jzhsusua it's not annoying 😂😂😂
I'm truly glad you liked this one bc it's the story that i'm most proud of, among all the stories I've written. I'm happy that my intentions and feelings for this one while i wrote it came across to you. Writing it always felt like an uphill battle bc it was very hard to maintain the consistency of the flow with such a long series (i think over all it's around 28k words now) and i had difficulties with my own writing motivation; im always riddled with self doubt and being unmotivated. But im already happy that this story made you happy hahaahaha
I hope you were alright though;;; the scene with her father can be quite heavy. Some of it was derived from personal experiences so writing about it feels especially cathartic. I always loved strong female leads bc they're inspiring as hell sksksk tho ofc they can be flawed, and that's where character development comes in!
Tbh this story was born out of anime reviews 😂 i was watching a lot of reviews which talk about deconstructionism,,, which pertains to a style where the story takes a common trope (for ex. a Soulmate Au), strip everything off of it, leaving only the basic stuff which describe the trope ( like soulmate bonds, shared thoughts, etc) and place a real world lens to it (relationships are hard to maintain, love isn't always what you expected, personal issues). I hope I was able to succeed in deconstructing the Soulmate AU 😅😅😅 I just love doing things differently and subverting expectations,,,, sometimes i cant do it, but it's always fun whenever i have an opportunity! Tbh that's probably one of the main characteristics of our writing style,,, we just want to create something unique!
Wow that's also really long,,, i hope i responded well;;; my mind is still a bit fogged him from just waking up 😅 but I'm so happy that you loved this one! More chapters will come in the future so stay tuned for that!!!
-Hyeri
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Questions 1 - 92 😈
1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? yes 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? no 3. Have you taken someone's virginity? yes 4. Is trust a big issue for you? definitely, the basis of all relationships 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? i have to like the person to hang out w them 6. What are you excited for? being in control of my own life and being stable enough for that 7. What happened tonight? researched dissertation topics for university 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? no lol 9. Is confidence cute? 100% 10. What is the last beverage you had? water, stay hydrated kiddos 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? not enough lmao 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? more actually 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? go out to drink 14. What are you going to spend money on next? probably another cute notebook or pin (i have too many) 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? yes 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? i fucking hope so 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? my girlfriend 18. The last time you felt broken? quite recently, gone through some pictures of my old friends 19. Have you had sex today? nope 20. Are you starting to realize anything? i don't owe people shit, they don't owe me shit either 21. Are you in a good mood? meh 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? yes they look like smooth cool fuckers 23. Are your eyes the same colour as your dad’s? yep 24. What do you want right this second? peanut butter 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? gtfo 26. Is your current hair colour your natural hair colour? yes, i wanna dye it blue asap, but dont have enough balls (or money tbfh) 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? nah that shit is boring 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? i cracked my back like a glowstick and it made me giggle 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? yes 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? no 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? nah 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? yes (let people know about that, bc life is too short and it will consume you if you keep prolonging it trust me lmao) 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? YES that shit is nasty and fucks up my stomach 34. Listening to? alot of lofi atm 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? yes, all my study notes are in pencil, i think it looks softer and nicer 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? yep 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? no, you grow to love a person as love is rooted from trust and compatibility 38. Who did you last call? my dad lol 39. Who was the last person you danced with? one of my best friends 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? bc she had food on her lips lmaoo 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? TODAY 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? nopeb 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? well in front of my girlfriend, all the fucking time 44. Do you tan in the nude? i don't even tan, this bitch is pale af 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? nah 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? yes 47. Who was the last person to call you? my dad hahah 48. Do you sing in the shower? nah 49. Do you dance in the car? i don't drive rip 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yes, i completely suck at it 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? around a month ago for a show 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? THEY'RE A BLESSING (thespian) 53. Is Christmas stressful? yes 54. Ever eat a pierogi? had to google them, but yes i think so 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? raspberry 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? an actress or an air hostess 57. Do you believe in ghosts? yes scary boys haunt us 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? actually no 59. Take a vitamin daily? no but i should hahah 60. Wear slippers? nah 61. Wear a bath robe? no but i have a very fluffy harry potter one 62. What do you wear to bed? an oversized t shirt 63. First concert? it was a concert with multiple people; jess glyne, jason derulo and wiz khalifa mainly 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? tumblr is so americanised lol idk 65. Nike or Adidas? nikee 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? im a clueless european 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? sunflower seeds 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? she's not really my thing 69. Ever take dance lessons? yes, i actually have certificates and experience and all 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? songwriting 71. Can you curl your tongue? i think so? 72. Ever won a spelling bee? it was never like a competition for us, but i used to do well 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yes 74. What is your favourite book? difficult to say honestly 75. Do you study better with or without music? yes with either chill music or asmr 76. Regularly burn incense? nope 77. Ever been in love? yes 78. Who would you like to see in concert? the 1975, billie eilish and p!nk atm 79. What was the last concert you saw? it was a mess 80. Hot tea or cold tea? hot fruity teas are amazing 81. Tea or coffee? i can't drink coffee 82. Favourite type of cookie? the ones with nutella stuffed in them 83. Can you swim well? used to, now i just float 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? nope 85. Are you patient? yes 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? band, they're cool af 87. Ever won a contest? don't think so 88. Ever have plastic surgery? nope 89. Which are better black or green olives? if whole; black, if sliced; green 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? if ya want to, go for it 91. Best room for a fireplace? living room 92. Do you want to get married? yes
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❌ ATTENTION ❌ IT’S A HOLY 😇 DAY TODAY GLO 💘 TURNS 2️⃣3️⃣ SHE’S ALL GROWN UP 👅 AND READY TO PARTY 🎉 SO POP A BOTTLE 🍾 AND YOUR PUSSY 💦 PUT ON A FURSUIT 🐰 AND CELEBRATE 🌈 THE LOML 💖
bringing back this ICONIC meme from ur bday last year even tho its literally not even ur bday where u are rn and i want to choke for not knowing how time works ! HAHA !!!! its fine ! ANYWAY if u see this its still my baby’s bday in my timezone so pls send all besitos to miss @pcycult pls and thank u xx
ok cool if u arent glo stop reading this rn . thats literally treason u will be arrested so BE WARNED . now that we’re alone ... alexa play expensive girl bc im abt to beat this HUSSY like u never ever felt before ! XSVDJSBDJWBDJBWJ its me ... xan ... ur gf still even tho u literally called me ur ex the other day but lets not talk abt the past (: goddddd im RUSTY with the love posts i was so brave a year ago now im like ... vulnerable bc i know whats coming ! let me start off by saying the I LOVE YOU !!! and its crazy that the years keep coming & i get to spend them being ur friend ... like how iconic is that ! shout out to nic for being the reason we met like i am ... forever grateful bc knowing u & meeting u was the best part of my 2017 / 2018 not to be fucking dramatic abt it but it sure was !!!!! if u dont believe me i have evidence..... its finally time for u to read some of the very secret creative writing stuff SJDBJWBDJWBDJW IM LITERALLY GOING TO CHOKE SHOWING U THIS but i love u and now u can never doubt me ever again !!!!
for context this was for my nonfiction class last year for my final portfolio ( which i wrote a little after ur bday last year ) its part of a bigger essay and not all abt u BUT SVDSVSWDVW these parts were /: im a sentimental bitch i am and im 100% better at expressing emotions and affection on paper versus irl as u know bc u literally met me and i was to scared to hug u JSDBWJDVJWDBJW and yea its embarrassing but i am a big believer in being embarrassing and cheesy bc life is too short and i can die any second and i want the ppl i love to know i love them so !! JSBDJSWBDJWBJWJ ik this past year was weird for us & ugli stuff happened but im glad we are still talking & that ur still in my life bc guess what ! i STILL care abt u just the same as this time last year when i was writing big dumb love letters FOR A CLASS SCVSDVS abt u ! and if u dont believe me.....get this......i have MORE evidence ! recent evidence ! this time from my poetry class literally last week JSBXDJSBDJBWSJDBWJ the whole thing isnt abt u but ur featured in it but im just gonna show u the whole thing bc it would just be one line if i didnt...
anyway the point is i think that stuff really does happen for a reason & ppl come into our lives for a reason & i hope u know how glad i am that u came into mine !!! a bitch is serious .. AS U CAN SEE JSBDJWSBDJBWJ i hope ur day today was amazing & i hope the rest of the year is amazing !!! ur smart and beautiful and kind and talented and ur gonna do really cool important stuff in the suture & i get to be here watching u grow & being ur friend and u know what ? that is truly the universe going off and blessing us !!!!! u cant change my mind !!! happy birthday my love /: im gonna go barf now ! cool thanks !
#glo#no offence but pcy could NEVER do what im doing......SO JOT THAT DOWN !#im going to have to roast u for 20000000 years after this ... just saying !
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