#like god. her mental illness….

[fellhellion]

I feel like an element that gets a little overlooked with Shiori is that her condescension towards Juri’s love is rooted in self hatred. It’s why nothing changes even when Shiori knows their affection is mutual. Because Juri loving another girl - loving Shiori - is a humiliation by virtue of the fact it’s a girl, and thus Unfathomable to heteropatriachal society, and (to Shiori’s mind) that it’s her when Juri is so much better than her. And the only salve to the gaping maw that is Shiori’s own lack of self worth is to leverage that love over Juri’s head and think her pitiful for it. Not to mention the entire thing that is Shiori fearing if their love was ever to escape this purgatory of existing but never being touched, it would eventually end and Shiori…god Shiori has never escaped wanting to chase after Juri’s shadow…

[quirkle2]

whoever designed her ,,,,,,,,,,,they knew what they were doin

[natsmagi]

a key element and constant theme of tsumugis character is neglect and the various ways it manifests and how he was neglected by his family severely as a child in multiple cases such as parents forgetting to feed him being abandoned by his father and brother and then how this series of neglect continues throughout tsumugis life by feeling abandoned when ex-fine disbanded but because tsumugi is so caught up in making sure those he cares about (sora and natsume) get what they want and deserve in their idol careers he fails to realize he is repeating that cycle of neglect. many times we see natsume worry that tsumugi is going to leave him and switch behind, that he is going to abandon the promise they made together as kids like this is a CONSTANT fear of natsumes and i feel like tsumugi is repeating the exact same mistakes his mother made in this regard. constantly overworking herself despite being a good-for-nothing, getting into scams due to her religious and superstitious nature being taken advantage of, being an emotional wreck that crumbles under pressure yet is immensely loved and admired by tsumugi to the point where he considered following in her footsteps by being a teacher (which, again, made natsume think tsumugi was abandoning their promise to each other) even if he also pities her. and i think that, during his childhood in baby tsumugis little brain, he took his mothers displays of emotions as a negative. those feelings were hurting his mom, making her upset, so his solution was to just not feel at all, all the while he makes the exact same mistakes she made, now just while completely disconnected. everything we know about tsumugis mom apart from her being overly emotional is a direct parallel to tsumugi from making and maintaining connections and being naturally loved by others to her appearing "hopeless" with work and being incredibly misfortunate. tsumugis mom neglected him alot as a child due to being overworked, overly emotional, and going through her own kind of hell, yet tsumugi recognizes that she did her best and still expresses love for her when talking about her, even though hes aware of her many bad habits. And, again, tsumugi inadvertently mirrors the exact same mistakes his mom did in trying to make tsumugi live a happy life (constantly trying new businesses and failing, falling for scams out of desperation) when trying to make sora and natsume happy (aka being too busy with work that would benefit the unit to spend time with them). Making the mistake of thinking if he just works hard enough they can be happy, when what will make them happy is his company. a lesson his mother, who not only got abandoned by her husband but also her own SON, never got to learn. But sure yea tsumugis mom was a physically abusive alcoholic who would deliberately harm tsumugi as a child and thats why hes ok with natsume hitting him and lets not even bother tackling the role the men in tsumugis life mightve played in him being numb to physical harm because clearly its the emotionally unstable woman tsumugi has expressed love for whose solely to blame who gives a shit anymore

[deadandwalking]

note before any of this i haven’t finished arcane yet so i may be missing some things, but i know a lot of people are upset that Jinx called Vander/Warwick dad but never Silco which is fair, i wanted it too, but i think part of the reason she never called Silco dad was because that title wasn’t as meaningful to her. like, Jinx had a dad. she had her bio father but she also had Vander for a good while. despite this, they were never the most important to her. Vi was. Vi was her older sister and her favourite person (could LITERALLY be an fp if we look at the signs of BPD there). she always thought of Vi as a mother figure, but never called her mom, because Vi was her big sister. so she did think of Silco as a father, but calling him ‘dad’ just didn’t encompass how much he meant to her. he was MORE than a father to her, he was everything. he was the new Vi.

[tequiilasunriise]

The sheer soulmatism of Lenore and Annabel fucks me up so bad everytime I think too hard about it okay sit down y’all.

The way they were immediately drawn to each other even though they had no memory of anything! No reason to immediately become so attached and protective and trusting! Not even death could part them, it’s almost like reincarnation in a way. The sins of living and the pain that comes with being alive washed away not by holy water but rather split blood, and in this new life they’re reborn into a blank, clean slate. Even in this memoryless ‘next lifetime’ they still choose each other without hesitation, without question, and I am on my knees sobbing.

The parallels of Annabel fainting! Annabel fainted when she learned that Lenore was actually alive, and Annabel also fainted when remembering how she died, and by extension, how Lenore died too (not related to soulmatism but in one scenario her lover caught her despite the injury, and in the other Lenore had no such hinderance but failed to catch Annabel regardless and that parallel kills me so softly). The soulmatism that is reacting the same exact way when you learned she lived vs remembering how she died, the soulmatism that the love is still the same. Oh how the love is still so tragically the same, crossing that threshold of death, despite the unhappy ending you shared. Annabel faints because it’s learning you have a second chance at love vs remembering how that same love was ripped away and I am no longer on my knees but laying facedown on the floor.

(The way Annabel looked at Lenore before collapsing in both scenes but with DRASTICALLY different vibes of disbelief like okay yeah sure, sure okay mhm just smash my ribs and rip my heart right out why don’t you?)

Now, NOW, the thing that truly ends me? The crazy red/blue symbolism these two carry.

Lenore is the embodiment of red. Her thoughts come in red print, as do the ribbons she was wrapped up in. Her fiery (pun intended), confident personality, her pure raging defiance rallying those around her. What’s more, Lenore’s anger and bared teeth is painted red the same way her love is, because red is not just the color of anger. Red is love, and Lenore, my god, she cares so openly about the people around her that her heart’s just painted bloody and brazen on her sleeve. Born from self-made infernos into the person she was always meant to be- flirty, quick-witted, taking what she wants when she wants- she is a young Montague wrapped up in her family’s house colors trailblazing down her own paths.

(But unlike dear Romeo who scaled a tree to look upwards towards Juliet on her balcony, Lenore was in a tree looking downwards at her counterpart, and this parallel is so important as the scene is clearly a Romeo/Juliet parallel but without the sweet sappiness but rather tension and just like, 1000x more interesting ‘can I trust you fr fr-ness’.)

Annabel is the embodiment of blue. Her thoughts come in blue print, and her ribbons are a deep blue to match. Blue is the color of calmness, and she seems so tranquil with a gentle yet firm confidence that puts people around her at ease. A natural born leader with such cool-headedness. Oh, but underneath that mask? Sadness. SO MUCH sadness, Annabel is an ocean of it, she’s a peaceful smile with a melancholic heart shot through. Young Capulet holds not pure innocence like her Juliet-counterpart but rather a deep rooted loneliness, like guys, Annabel is actually just so fucken SAD I think we really need to address this more yes she’s a total girlboss but also Annabel is the personification of hollowed out loneliness that comes with your beloved being ripped away from you.

This really got away from me, but my point?

Lenore, the embodiment of red, has blue eyes.

Annabel, the embodiment of blue, has red-adjacent eyes.

FORGET LAYING ON THE GROUND IN TEARS I AM CURRENTLY CLIPPING THROUGH THE FLOOR AND HEADING STRAIGHT GAY TO MY GRAVE IN THE BACKROOMS!!!

YOUR HONOR THEIR EYES ARE THE GODDAMNED COLORS OF THE OTHER’S MOTHERMARYFUCKING S O U L LIKE WHAT IN THE JESUS H CHRIST BUMBLEBY SOULMATISM IS T H I S S S⁉️⁉️⁉️

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[intertexts]

just watched that documentary on vivian maier in class i'm feeling so normal. i'm feeling so normal. i'm not like on the verge of tears in photography studio.

[swallowtail-ageha]

How it feels to be a popular female character enjoyer in the "giving her every single mental illness and making her suffer" way approaching other popular female character fans

[rosegoldendaydream]

i really hate what they did with the ferris wheel scene because in the comics it was about tori and her relationship with being asexual and about asexuality and the show totally erased that

[frankendykez]

hey lads its clervalstein

[helyeahmangocheese]

yall I just know Annabeth would have such a love hate relationship with architecture school. like, design studios are so unlike anything in the mortal and magical world. it's so collaborative and yet competitive and so wonderfully and tortuously fast-paced for being able to design something like a building at the end of 9-15 weeks (depending on your program). design is such a beautifully nonlinear process that many neurodivergent brains can understand in a really different way from traditional school. but it's also really littered with jargon and inaccessible practices, bias, and harmful histories. I would actually do anything to hear more about Annabeth in design school.

[kreachvera]

my son he has 73 diseases and turned evil .

pwab au zappa. pwabba if you will

[trystofnight]

MADE ME?? MORE LIKE LETS GO CAFE YURI!!!!!

bonus:

[hampterguts]

forever amazed and confused at how often transformers franchise just straight up depicts suicide attempts. like not even considering the superhero trope of "i have to save everyone!!! by choosing to die!!!!!" thing. like. non-allow-yourself-to-die-to-stop-a-thing-from-killing-everyone-immediately type situations. which tbh i wish more ppl talked about but not the point here

like. sure mtmte, a comic abt mentall illness and war, i expected it to be aware of the concept. but its not handled well and mostly used for shock value or "im better now i swear! i have a husband and everything" BUT ITS IN THE KIDS SHOWS TOO??? MY BESTIE G1 RODIMUS?? BEAST WARS DINOBOT???

[shkika]

The tragic part of moon I think is her incredible patience probably being something she learned by enduring the constant awfulness of the ancients, since she couldn't really speak out in any way, since she was in a completely imbalanced power dynamic with her creators.

Maybe that unwillingness or fear to retaliate or advocate for herself is what led to her not doing anything to stop pebbles until it was way too late even though some in game dialogue says she could have used admin privelage to stop him by force.

That makes her story even more heartbreaking...

Poor moonie, she deserved so much better from everyone. And the most kindness she was ever shown was from the little animals her creators made as tools and objects, I suppose there may be a kinship between them there.

I love moon so much. She deserves all the hugs.

I think her patience came in multiple ways!

If I had to ramble in detail on how I write Moon I'd be here typing all day..

Lttm has a lot of experience and has talked to many iterators, younger and older and has went through many generations in her colony.

But the way I see it is that Moon became a person who is just very.. mm tired I suppose. The unfairness and lack of regard for her feelings she received from the ancients was a constant she grew to passively hate, but accept. So she's patient with them yeah. Moon is patient and calm with anything that life throws her way, because she's had to deal with a lot. She's quick to accept defeat and see when something is unreachable. The opposite of Pebbles yet again, who tried everything to go against the very way he was built. He's willing to fight and take action much more than she does. Moonie ultimately, in her last moments with Spearmaster, accepts her demise. Nothing can be done and.. as scary as it is that's okay. She's happy others cared for her and still do.

I don't think she's afraid to stand up or herself! Moon isn't a pushover, at least to me! Nothing can ever be done about how ancients see her or her group so tolerating them is just.. easier! Otherwise she demands respect and to be heard and listened to on a basic level even from a slugcat and she thanks you greatly for it. Or else. You don't get anything out of her. Even in a vulnerable dying state she can put her foot down and refuse to speak to you.

The situation with Pebbles is different.

I don't think she was scared to talk to him. I think Moon wanted to trust that her brother wouldn't do something like this. Because she wasn't just his admin to take control of him whenever. She was his sister.

Unlike their parents he'd take her well-being into consideration, surely. He wouldn't risk her safety like they did.

But oh well.

It's how it is.

[helmarok]

i'm always thinking about this line