#like god. her mental illness….
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I feel like an element that gets a little overlooked with Shiori is that her condescension towards Juri’s love is rooted in self hatred. It’s why nothing changes even when Shiori knows their affection is mutual. Because Juri loving another girl - loving Shiori - is a humiliation by virtue of the fact it’s a girl, and thus Unfathomable to heteropatriachal society, and (to Shiori’s mind) that it’s her when Juri is so much better than her. And the only salve to the gaping maw that is Shiori’s own lack of self worth is to leverage that love over Juri’s head and think her pitiful for it. Not to mention the entire thing that is Shiori fearing if their love was ever to escape this purgatory of existing but never being touched, it would eventually end and Shiori…god Shiori has never escaped wanting to chase after Juri’s shadow…
#god my girl…..MY GIRL.#shiori makes me cry for personal relating reasons but also just man. what a miserable way to live#where your own self hatred is an implacable veil between you and girl you love#AS IS THE SAME FOR JURI. except juri hates herself for wanting and hoping that love to be reciprocated#tunes talks utena#just man. shiori going NOW I’ve dragged you into the dirt with me by virtue of the fact YOU love ME#like god. her mental illness….
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whoever designed her ,,,,,,,,,,,they knew what they were doin
#qkdraws#id in alt#GOD she's so cool#rika my friend rika she's the coolest ever in the whole wide world !!!11!!!!111!!!!1#idk what it is abt her that makes me always add halftone effects to her but . she's gettin em#she's literally the coolest ever.have i mentioned that yet#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon rika#rika pokemon#elite four rika#SHE'S SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok im normal <3#i need to dye my hair that color again for my mental stability it Needs to be done#ill blow up the earth if i don't. ill blowit up#i wonder how much gender euphoria ill experience if i dress like that. i have a feeling it'd be enough to end countries#one day . one day ill be half as cool as her
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a key element and constant theme of tsumugis character is neglect and the various ways it manifests and how he was neglected by his family severely as a child in multiple cases such as parents forgetting to feed him being abandoned by his father and brother and then how this series of neglect continues throughout tsumugis life by feeling abandoned when ex-fine disbanded but because tsumugi is so caught up in making sure those he cares about (sora and natsume) get what they want and deserve in their idol careers he fails to realize he is repeating that cycle of neglect. many times we see natsume worry that tsumugi is going to leave him and switch behind, that he is going to abandon the promise they made together as kids like this is a CONSTANT fear of natsumes and i feel like tsumugi is repeating the exact same mistakes his mother made in this regard. constantly overworking herself despite being a good-for-nothing, getting into scams due to her religious and superstitious nature being taken advantage of, being an emotional wreck that crumbles under pressure yet is immensely loved and admired by tsumugi to the point where he considered following in her footsteps by being a teacher (which, again, made natsume think tsumugi was abandoning their promise to each other) even if he also pities her. and i think that, during his childhood in baby tsumugis little brain, he took his mothers displays of emotions as a negative. those feelings were hurting his mom, making her upset, so his solution was to just not feel at all, all the while he makes the exact same mistakes she made, now just while completely disconnected. everything we know about tsumugis mom apart from her being overly emotional is a direct parallel to tsumugi from making and maintaining connections and being naturally loved by others to her appearing "hopeless" with work and being incredibly misfortunate. tsumugis mom neglected him alot as a child due to being overworked, overly emotional, and going through her own kind of hell, yet tsumugi recognizes that she did her best and still expresses love for her when talking about her, even though hes aware of her many bad habits. And, again, tsumugi inadvertently mirrors the exact same mistakes his mom did in trying to make tsumugi live a happy life (constantly trying new businesses and failing, falling for scams out of desperation) when trying to make sora and natsume happy (aka being too busy with work that would benefit the unit to spend time with them). Making the mistake of thinking if he just works hard enough they can be happy, when what will make them happy is his company. a lesson his mother, who not only got abandoned by her husband but also her own SON, never got to learn. But sure yea tsumugis mom was a physically abusive alcoholic who would deliberately harm tsumugi as a child and thats why hes ok with natsume hitting him and lets not even bother tackling the role the men in tsumugis life mightve played in him being numb to physical harm because clearly its the emotionally unstable woman tsumugi has expressed love for whose solely to blame who gives a shit anymore
#one day im going to snap i swear to god.#nat rambles#nats enst posting#tsumugi aoba#THIS IS NOT A POST DIRECTED AT ANYONE BTW#I JUST SEE LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TSUMUGIP VILLIFY HIS MOM WHEN LIKE#YEA SHE FUCKED UP. LIKE SO SEVERELY IN SO MANY CASES#BUT FUCK DUDE SHE IS A CLEARLY MENTALLY ILL WOMAN TRYING HER GODDAMN BEST WHILE THE MEN WHO WERE MEANT TO LOVE HER LEAVE HER BEHIND#WHEN SHES CLEARLY NOT ABLE TO RAISE TWO FUCKING CHILDREN BY HERSELF#BUT NO YEA LETS BLAME THE WOMAN. THE MEN CLEARLY LEFT HER BC SHES SOOOOO CRAZY#anyway this is very messy i hope its coherent enough#dont take what i say as gospel just. Take this as a nudge to think abt the text a little more
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The sheer soulmatism of Lenore and Annabel fucks me up so bad everytime I think too hard about it okay sit down y’all.
The way they were immediately drawn to each other even though they had no memory of anything! No reason to immediately become so attached and protective and trusting! Not even death could part them, it’s almost like reincarnation in a way. The sins of living and the pain that comes with being alive washed away not by holy water but rather split blood, and in this new life they’re reborn into a blank, clean slate. Even in this memoryless ‘next lifetime’ they still choose each other without hesitation, without question, and I am on my knees sobbing.
The parallels of Annabel fainting! Annabel fainted when she learned that Lenore was actually alive, and Annabel also fainted when remembering how she died, and by extension, how Lenore died too (not related to soulmatism but in one scenario her lover caught her despite the injury, and in the other Lenore had no such hinderance but failed to catch Annabel regardless and that parallel kills me so softly). The soulmatism that is reacting the same exact way when you learned she lived vs remembering how she died, the soulmatism that the love is still the same. Oh how the love is still so tragically the same, crossing that threshold of death, despite the unhappy ending you shared. Annabel faints because it’s learning you have a second chance at love vs remembering how that same love was ripped away and I am no longer on my knees but laying facedown on the floor.
(The way Annabel looked at Lenore before collapsing in both scenes but with DRASTICALLY different vibes of disbelief like okay yeah sure, sure okay mhm just smash my ribs and rip my heart right out why don’t you?)
Now, NOW, the thing that truly ends me? The crazy red/blue symbolism these two carry.
Lenore is the embodiment of red. Her thoughts come in red print, as do the ribbons she was wrapped up in. Her fiery (pun intended), confident personality, her pure raging defiance rallying those around her. What’s more, Lenore’s anger and bared teeth is painted red the same way her love is, because red is not just the color of anger. Red is love, and Lenore, my god, she cares so openly about the people around her that her heart’s just painted bloody and brazen on her sleeve. Born from self-made infernos into the person she was always meant to be- flirty, quick-witted, taking what she wants when she wants- she is a young Montague wrapped up in her family’s house colors trailblazing down her own paths.
(But unlike dear Romeo who scaled a tree to look upwards towards Juliet on her balcony, Lenore was in a tree looking downwards at her counterpart, and this parallel is so important as the scene is clearly a Romeo/Juliet parallel but without the sweet sappiness but rather tension and just like, 1000x more interesting ‘can I trust you fr fr-ness’.)
Annabel is the embodiment of blue. Her thoughts come in blue print, and her ribbons are a deep blue to match. Blue is the color of calmness, and she seems so tranquil with a gentle yet firm confidence that puts people around her at ease. A natural born leader with such cool-headedness. Oh, but underneath that mask? Sadness. SO MUCH sadness, Annabel is an ocean of it, she’s a peaceful smile with a melancholic heart shot through. Young Capulet holds not pure innocence like her Juliet-counterpart but rather a deep rooted loneliness, like guys, Annabel is actually just so fucken SAD I think we really need to address this more yes she’s a total girlboss but also Annabel is the personification of hollowed out loneliness that comes with your beloved being ripped away from you.
This really got away from me, but my point?
Lenore, the embodiment of red, has blue eyes.
Annabel, the embodiment of blue, has red-adjacent eyes.
FORGET LAYING ON THE GROUND IN TEARS I AM CURRENTLY CLIPPING THROUGH THE FLOOR AND HEADING STRAIGHT GAY TO MY GRAVE IN THE BACKROOMS!!!
YOUR HONOR THEIR EYES ARE THE GODDAMNED COLORS OF THE OTHER’S MOTHERMARYFUCKING S O U L LIKE WHAT IN THE JESUS H CHRIST BUMBLEBY SOULMATISM IS T H I S S S⁉️⁉️⁉️
#hey sorry fer such a long post but can you tell these two make me severely mentally ill#the bumblebyism of it all… eyes reflecting the color of ur pther half’s soul#if i had had a nickel everytime i crossed this trope i would have three nickels now gods#bumbleby sulemio and white raven SIGHHHH#everyone thank my rwby roots if u haven’t realized the eye soulmatism until now (but i doubt it i mean. its so obvious like. my god.)#white raven… gnawing on a tree branch… please imma fast passer but i still need MOREEEE#skittering around in a circle like a wild beast i need need NEEDD more of these two my god#white raven#nevermore webtoon#annabel lee whitlock#annabel lee nevermore#lenore vandernacht#gods her last name trips me up to spell everytime#lenore nevermore#should i tag this as bumbleby#u know what? yeah yeah i will why not#sorry fellow beekeepers but yall needa see this bc bumbleby eyecolor soulmatism mention#bumbleby#buzz buzz motherfuckers
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lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...
it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy
also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]
gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.
anyway.
there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.
imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.
a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.
the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?
but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.
#asks#Anonymous#sagau#tsaritsa#like. am i explaining this coherently?? first meetings r GOOD and i could go on a tangent of like. first meetings w zl and make it work#but first meetings w the tsaritsa is like. you just cooked a 5 course meal. took one bite. called it a day.#so much of my characterization lies in the “after” of the first meeting#because her first meetings are generally the same. she's apathetic at best!! she does not gaf abt the creator in the SLIGHTEST#but show that you are more then the creator? that you do not cling to the title like a shield? that you do not rely on it?#youve got the worst person youve ever known ready to kill a man for you.#tsaritsa is very like. EXTREMELY hard to earn the trust of but when you do she will kill someone for you no hesitation no question#which is why she works SO WELL in villain au and imposter au!!!!!!!!!#esp if theres a fake “creator” calling you the imposter. she hates their ass and was .5 seconds from dethroning them anyway#you just made it 10x easier#also cant do just first meetings bc i am incapable of not shoving themes of love into every fic w her SORRY#tsaritsa going on a full multiple month long mental breakdown bc she is not in love with you but she would destroy everything for u..#(shes in denial)#tsaritsa and complex themes of love and what it means for the god of love to be incapable of feeling it + what it means when reader shows u#LIKE UGHHHHHH okay. i guess ill write another tsaritsa fic and put it in my vault#aka my drafts#i hold so many fics hostage there its crazy#this answered like 0 of ur questions sorry i see tsaritsa and black out and this happens#i just think first meetings dont let her character really come thru but my response got out of hand so uhhhhh everyone look away. please#putting tape over my mouth now so i shut up before this gets worse#basically tsaritsa gravitates more towards outcast reader rather then one who has already become accustomed to the adoration of the acolyte#does that make sense........#i havent slept in forever and im running on nothing but spite and dreams atp dont expect coherency when it comes 2 the tsaritsa from me#head in hands someone please stop me i keep rambling abt the tsaritsa it makes me go NUTS#lays down. explodes
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just watched that documentary on vivian maier in class i'm feeling so normal. i'm feeling so normal. i'm not like on the verge of tears in photography studio.
#there's something about like. ohhh. people like me & people like the people i have loved have been around forever. if i met her today i#would know her instantly. she should have been at the club except she should have been at the autistic mentally ill weird artists brunch.#she was so fucking lonely. god. god.#txt
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How it feels to be a popular female character enjoyer in the "giving her every single mental illness and making her suffer" way approaching other popular female character fans
#and this is why i at large never interact with the hardcore/fandom famous lady maria fans lol#its a whiplash going from their 'badass girlboss lady maria who is the only one who stood up against the church!!' maria#to my 'well. she has mental illness. probably had a few suicide attempts up her belt even before her last one. may or may not be#a laudanum addict. enjoyed cutting people up and didn't like that she enjoyed it#was too fed in her own catholic guilt extreme to do anything about byr.genwerth and then the church spiraling into depravity' maria#thank god for the block button!!!@
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i really hate what they did with the ferris wheel scene because in the comics it was about tori and her relationship with being asexual and about asexuality and the show totally erased that
#i like charlie and i love his relationship with tori but oh my fucking god this scene isn't about this#it's not about how tori dealt with him being mentally ill it's about her! and michael! and asexuality! not about charlie!!!!!#heartstopper#heartstopper season 3#tori spring#charlie spring#sprolden#remie's posts
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hey lads its clervalstein
#i probably already posted this befire but like.#god its the mary shelley curse im getting frankenstein AND the last man brainrot at thebsame time#i cant do this no more yall..#did you know i and my friends made a frankenstein spin off#based on this guy mentioned ONCE in the whole book... louis manoir...#hes so pathetic and gay and stupid hes like if henry clerval was more mentally ill than he already is#and deranged#and wants victor even more badly#u guys wld like him i think i like transing her gender every two seconds#frankenstein#the modern prometheus#gothic lit#victor frankenstein#henry clerval#clervalstein
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yall I just know Annabeth would have such a love hate relationship with architecture school. like, design studios are so unlike anything in the mortal and magical world. it's so collaborative and yet competitive and so wonderfully and tortuously fast-paced for being able to design something like a building at the end of 9-15 weeks (depending on your program). design is such a beautifully nonlinear process that many neurodivergent brains can understand in a really different way from traditional school. but it's also really littered with jargon and inaccessible practices, bias, and harmful histories. I would actually do anything to hear more about Annabeth in design school.
#like please please tell me more about what she self studied and how that conflates with her old arch profs who've been in practice too long#also please tell me Im not the only one who is actively in a B.ARCH program thanks to one annabeth chade#cause its brutal with all the mental illness. demigod or not#percy jackson#pjo#annabeth chase#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson chalice of the gods#pjo chalice of the gods#chalice of the gods
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my son he has 73 diseases and turned evil .
pwab au zappa. pwabba if you will
#the circumstances of the ghosts stays the same in dis au#i think that his thought progression on Oh God Why Is This Happening To Me stayed the same as well#but instead of seeking out just Faust#he tries to find anyone who can understand this and help him#ofc he did this canonly as well but to various superstition from the results#so!!!#cue: an experienced doctor with 10(+?) years of paranormal research under his belt#crow at least has like. scientce to explain it#even if he’s totes wrong about some parts of S-Ko (looks at the PEAB entry that calls her a mental parasite)#but ah well.#ofc crow would have to be less of a freak. or else we get a repeat of her interaction with zappa in his route. erm….#crow if he was actually helpful would be soooo beneficial to . everyone….. oh well there are other doctors#(love u faust)#anyways this isn’t an au on what i think should’ve happened or whatnot. just a fun what if#…..and me being mentally ill..#also.. head/chief of paranormal operations has a pretty sick ring to it#again. not 100% happy on this design. might rework it sometime#he’s cute though. i can stuff him into a sock#and smash him on the floor#smiles#guilty gear#zappa guilty gear#s ko guilty gear#crow kuruwaba#robdesigns#robart#thoughtz#ignore that ive forgotten the zippers on his sleeves for like. all the images. they’re there#whimpers
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MADE ME?? MORE LIKE LETS GO CAFE YURI!!!!!
bonus:
#enstars#ensemble stars#tatsumi kazehaya#mayoi ayase#femstars#GIRL. when i tell you i was hit by a vision from god. i was hit by a vision from god.#mayos socks constantly fall down bc god hates mentally ill femmes <- speaking from experience#NOW TYPICALLY i see femstars tatsumi as just looking like her canon self. but for the waitress moment she needs clipped up long hair#tryst of art#tatsumayo#yeah ill tag it they defo kissed after their shift
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forever amazed and confused at how often transformers franchise just straight up depicts suicide attempts. like not even considering the superhero trope of "i have to save everyone!!! by choosing to die!!!!!" thing. like. non-allow-yourself-to-die-to-stop-a-thing-from-killing-everyone-immediately type situations. which tbh i wish more ppl talked about but not the point here
like. sure mtmte, a comic abt mentall illness and war, i expected it to be aware of the concept. but its not handled well and mostly used for shock value or "im better now i swear! i have a husband and everything" BUT ITS IN THE KIDS SHOWS TOO??? MY BESTIE G1 RODIMUS?? BEAST WARS DINOBOT???
#my pupils dilating so wide when that one beast wars episode opened on dinobot reciting shakespeare and then pointing a sword at his chest#also im mean i think only beast wars was successful at trying to be like 'but you Have to Live.'#i love them both dearly but g1 does not love me and mtmte does not love me. do u understand#mtmte being like 'you just have to meet someone to live for!!!' -> doesnt work even in canon ->#-> 'nono im still right you just have to meet someone to live for!!!'#but im fond of g1 just showing a guy whos told to die go 'yknow what yeah ok'. and then gets revived but god thats so fucking funny#psychological drama where rodimus doesnt get found on time and now the autobots have lost two leaders and my girl haunts the narrative#suicide tw#suicide ment#dummy posts#srry im still thinking abt mtmte. cd being like. i dont want to kill myself bc of my spouse. my spouse is dead but#i dont want to kill myself. ok my spouse is back time to kill myself so he can be happy with someone else.#ok no killing myself my spouse said no.#everyday tho im upset abt my babygirl red alert. mental illness woman used for jokes shock value rodimus angst then tossed tf out only to#come back 'better' but then BAM 'evil influence mind control by evil villain'. but shes polygamous now i guess thats going for her#sorry um. red alert isnt canonically a woman im just weird abt her. shes a mentally ill butch woman to me i need to hang out with#her so bad we could spiral together
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The tragic part of moon I think is her incredible patience probably being something she learned by enduring the constant awfulness of the ancients, since she couldn't really speak out in any way, since she was in a completely imbalanced power dynamic with her creators.
Maybe that unwillingness or fear to retaliate or advocate for herself is what led to her not doing anything to stop pebbles until it was way too late even though some in game dialogue says she could have used admin privelage to stop him by force.
That makes her story even more heartbreaking...
Poor moonie, she deserved so much better from everyone. And the most kindness she was ever shown was from the little animals her creators made as tools and objects, I suppose there may be a kinship between them there.
I love moon so much. She deserves all the hugs.
I think her patience came in multiple ways!
If I had to ramble in detail on how I write Moon I'd be here typing all day..
Lttm has a lot of experience and has talked to many iterators, younger and older and has went through many generations in her colony.
But the way I see it is that Moon became a person who is just very.. mm tired I suppose. The unfairness and lack of regard for her feelings she received from the ancients was a constant she grew to passively hate, but accept. So she's patient with them yeah. Moon is patient and calm with anything that life throws her way, because she's had to deal with a lot. She's quick to accept defeat and see when something is unreachable. The opposite of Pebbles yet again, who tried everything to go against the very way he was built. He's willing to fight and take action much more than she does. Moonie ultimately, in her last moments with Spearmaster, accepts her demise. Nothing can be done and.. as scary as it is that's okay. She's happy others cared for her and still do.
I don't think she's afraid to stand up or herself! Moon isn't a pushover, at least to me! Nothing can ever be done about how ancients see her or her group so tolerating them is just.. easier! Otherwise she demands respect and to be heard and listened to on a basic level even from a slugcat and she thanks you greatly for it. Or else. You don't get anything out of her. Even in a vulnerable dying state she can put her foot down and refuse to speak to you.
The situation with Pebbles is different.
I don't think she was scared to talk to him. I think Moon wanted to trust that her brother wouldn't do something like this. Because she wasn't just his admin to take control of him whenever. She was his sister.
Unlike their parents he'd take her well-being into consideration, surely. He wouldn't risk her safety like they did.
But oh well.
It's how it is.
#nobody will ever understand how mentally ill i am for moon i LOVE her i cannot wait to draw her even MORE#AH#!!!#rain world#looks to the moon#kiki rambles#ask#anonymous#of course you don't have to agree with everything i see i feel like im repeating this like a mantra#but i dont want to force anything on anyone#this is how i read her character#shes extemely complicated#and a VERY good senior#shes not a pushover#god i love moon#favorite forever#i hope i get to explore her as well as id like to in the ask blog i really do
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i'm always thinking about this line
#ganon rambles#mcsm#mcsm petra#AGHHHHH AHHHHHH#i feel insane#bursted out laughing over 'you tend to push people away'#yasss feeding into her idea that people abandon her because there's something wrong with her 😋#yeah i'll make your mental illness worse#but anyways it makes sense#you meet her and she's completely alone as opposed to everyone else who already has their established friend groups#and also her line in episode 5 about getting used to having people who worry about her or whatever it was#and she is like a different person in the witherstorm arc lol.#well granted there was the death illness/amnesia but like.#my point... im always crazy about how she goes from closed off and cool abd lonely to like#...crying about her friends#like !!! ahahahahahahahahahaha#literally the most well written character in this stupid game and ashley johnson is such a good va too god#i'm supposed to be doing chores but i had to sit down and talk about petra. grown adult btw
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I... have no idea what this is. No that's a lie I know exactly what this is, it's 2.6k of a Frozen AU with Steve as Elsa and Robin as Anna that I wrote in a fugue state after seeing a friend's production of Frozen: The Musical tonight. I have several WIPs I'm supposed to be working on and this is exactly none of them. Bone apple teeth. (Also I'm genuinely unsure if my usual crew of beloved enablers would even WANT to be tagged in this so... for now I'm not doing a taglist, and if I write any more of this AU I'll do one next time 😂)
“Steve!”
At the sound of his name, the Prince — now King, and boy is Robin going to take a while to get used to that — turns his head towards her. Seeing it's Robin, Steve gives his apologies to whatever noble he was talking to and steps away from their conversation. He makes his way over to Robin in just a few short strides, but his eyes flick back and forth between Robin and her new... well. She doesn't really want to think about what Eddie now is to her. In any case, she can already see a questioning frown start to brew on Steve's face, meaning this will be a much harder sell than she expected.
“Robin!” Steve exclaims, his gaze almost immediately sliding over to Eddie and giving him a once-over. He sounds markedly more subdued when he continues, “I see you've... made a friend.”
“Well, I wouldn't say a friend exactly!” Robin laughs, shrill and stilted, and gives Eddie's arm a pointed squeeze when he doesn't immediately join in. Getting the hint, Eddie finally starts laughing along. Hopefully Steve didn't notice her hinting, since she's had her arm wrapped around Eddie's since before she even called him over.
Steve raises an eyebrow at her, and shit does she need to keep this moving.
“This,” Robin announces, using the hand that's not around Eddie's arm to do a quick flourish in the direction of his face, “is Prince Edward of the Kingdom of Forest-Upon-Hills. We met at the ball tonight.”
“It's an absolute pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty,” says Eddie, trying his best to show the proper respect and bow as he does so. Robin's death grip on his arm prevents him from getting very far.
“Likewise,” Steve replies, sounding incredibly skeptical of this whole conversation. He then shoots Robin a look, which, rude, but also entirely warranted given what she's about to ask him.
Steeling herself, Robin begins to say, “Prince Edward and I-”
“Just Eddie is fine,” Eddie interrupts her, leaning in a little bit closer to her as he whispers. He's got terrible volume control, however, so she wouldn't know it was meant to be a whisper if she hadn't spent the past two hours talking to him.
“Not one for formalities, Prince Eddie?” Steve asks, the weight of his gaze finally leaving Robin's shoulders for a moment. God, she often wishes her brother was easier to read, but never as strongly as she does right now.
Eddie, meanwhile, straightens up so quickly it's like he's been electrocuted.
“Uh, not particularly, no. They grate on me,” Eddie says. He pauses for a moment, and Robin can see the deliberation on his face before he adds, “Your Majesty.”
“I'm not one for formalities either, Prince Eddie,” Steve says. His mouth twitches into a very small smile. “I prefer Steve.”
There's a pause, then, where Steve and Eddie are locked into some strange stare-down, while Robin looks on in vague exasperation. She's pretty sure she could strip naked and swing from the chandelier in the center of the ballroom and neither of them would take any notice of her. She's about to intervene, actually, because they really do not have time for whatever this is, when Eddie miraculously breaks the spell himself. He blinks a bit, looking away from Steve and back to Robin, face significantly more flushed than it was a minute ago.
“I believe you were saying something to K- to Steve, Princess?” Eddie asks, just about tripping over Steve's new title on instinct before catching himself.
Robin just barely restrains herself from rolling her eyes. She really is the bravest, most long-suffering warrior in all of Hawkins.
Putting her brave face back on, Robin turns to her brother and says, “Yes I was, thank you Eddie, I was saying that Prince Eddie and I-” and here she falters, because Steve looks back at her and meets her gaze. She swallows, trying to be subtle, and looks very pointedly at Steve's forehead instead of his eyes. She can't do this if she's looking him in the eye.
She takes another half second to compose herself, then rips the band-aid off.
“Prince Eddie and I seek your blessing for our marriage.”
“Excuse me?” Steve says, more like demands, almost choking on nothing. Robin's never seen her brother this off-kilter in her life. He doesn't even try to compose himself at all before he says, “Robin, can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?”
Robin swallows guiltily, knowing he'll see straight through her if she agrees.
“No. Anything you want to say to me, you can say to both of us,” Robin says, and how her voice stays steady, she doesn't even know. It probably helps that she's still not looking Steve in the eye.
“Robin- I don't-” Steve interrupts himself to run his gloved hands down his face. He pauses for a moment, face completely covered by his hands, and takes a deep sigh. When he removes his hands and starts speaking again, his voice is measured. Calm. Deadly.
“Rob, you can't marry a man you just met,” Steve states. The word man falls heavy off his tongue, and Robin knew she would regret coming out as a lesbian, she just didn't think it would be like this. Squaring herself up for the best performance of her life, Robin begins her improvised speech full of bullshit to convince her brother to let her do this.
Before she can, however, Eddie chimes in with, "You can if it's true love." Steve doesn't even spare Eddie a glance, but his frown does deepen significantly. Shit.
“Steve,” Robin begins, trying very hard to stay calm, “Eddie and I have a connection unlike any I've ever felt before. I lo-love him”—shit, she could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat saying that, and judging by the almost-imperceptible twitch in Steve's eye, he knows too—“and I think it's time I start giving back to the Kingdom of Hawkins.”
“Giving back?” Steve asks, and fuck he's folding his arms across his chest now. “How exactly is this giving back to the kingdom? What you're doing is running headfirst into the first bad decision you can find.”
”I'm a bad decision?” Eddie asks. Both Robin and Steve ignore him.
“No, Steve, I'm giving back by giving the kingdom a new celebration to look forward to after your coronation,” Robin hisses. “A royal wedding is another opportunity to open the castle gates and bring the kingdom together-”
“Absolutely not,” Steve snaps, interrupting her. “We are not opening up the castle gates again for a long time.”
“Why not, Steve?” Robin snaps back. “Tonight's been great for the kingdom's morale, it's been great for you to see people and actually socialize-”
“You have no idea what's good for me, Robin,” Steve says, making her stop dead. It hurts, hearing Steve say that like it's obvious and she's stupid for not knowing it already. What hurts more is that it’s true.
Once it's clear Robin won't keep talking, Steve continues, “You asked for my blessing, and I do not give it. I don't approve of this, and if you're doing this in some misguided attempt to make me happy- quite frankly you've gone insane if you think this would make me happy.”
With that, he turns to walk away.
Okay, sure, she has no idea what Steve's whole deal is or why he's always shutting her out, but Robin is sure she knows what will help.
Sure, part of this crazy scheme is the vague idea that if Robin has a picture-perfect capable-of-bearing-children partnership, then Steve will be under less pressure himself to marry someone who can produce an heir. Maybe, with less scrutiny on his personal choices, he'll learn to relax and open up more over time. That idea falls apart pretty quickly, however, as the thought of producing an heir with a man - even one as fun to talk to as Eddie - makes her want to gouge her own eyes out. No, the real reasoning behind Robin's (admittedly insane) plan to marry someone she met two hours ago at her brother's coronation is so she has an ironclad reason for Steve to open the gates again. Sure, ideally it would've been a woman who caught her eye tonight, but she can't be picky. Robin doesn't meet anyone, especially with the castle locked up like it always is, and she has yet to think of something other than a wedding that would convince Steve to open the gates. Then Eddie came along, laughing and flirting (she thinks, at least; Robin's tried to black that part out) and professing his undying true love to her, and this was the best opportunity she was ever going to get.
And she has to convince her brother to open the gates again. Steve's been thriving tonight. He clearly loves the thrum of people, all of them dancing and laughing and enjoying themselves, and he's slowly coming out of his shell with every conversation he has with their subjects. Robin's spent more time talking to her brother tonight than she has in a long, long time. Too long for her to try to quantify it without crying.
Watching her brother turn away from her, the promise of a relationship with him going forward about to slip through her fingers, she knows she has to do something.
“Steve, wait-” Robin says, reaching out for Steve. She grabs him by the hand, feeling the soft cotton of the white gloves he always, always wears.
“Enough, Robin,” Steve says, not even looking back as he yanks his hand out of her grip. She's trying to hold on, though, so she's left holding his glove as Steve pulls his now-bare hand away from her. God, how upsetting is it that it's been years since she saw the back of her own brother's hands?
Steve swears, then, under his breath. Robin almost doesn't hear it; almost.
“Robin, give me my glove.” Steve's not asking; he's demanding. Robin can work with this.
“Not unless you talk to me about why you won't open the gates. Look at how tonight went, it's been so good for you-”
“This isn't up for debate, Robin, give me my glove,” and Steve reaches for it then, but Robin quickly holds the glove up high above her head before he can grab it.
“Why isn't it up for debate? Why do you isolate yourself all the time?” Robin's almost dancing now, twisting and turning as she tries to keep the glove away from Steve's grabbing hands. It doesn't help that he's taller than her, but she's more agile than people think, especially since Steve's in full coronation regalia right now. The material's stiff as a board at the best of times.
“You wouldn't understand, just give me the- ugh!” Steve's stopped trying to grab the glove, instead trying to restrain her and make it easier to grab.
“Maybe I would understand if you'd talk to me instead of shutting me out all the time-” Steve's almost got her in a headlock, but Robin ducks out from underneath it and quickly steps away and out of Steve's reach.
“Robin, that's enough!” Steve shouts, and then several things happen consecutively.
Steve reaches out towards Robin with his right hand, the one missing the glove.
Robin thinks she's going crazy, but- what look like snowflakes shoot out from Steve's hand where he's reached for her.
The crowd, most of whom had turned to look at Steve's shout, gasp, almost in unison.
“I- Steve-” Robin says, not quite sure where to start with the -- actually quite sizable -- pile of snow now on the ballroom floor.
“No,” Steve gasps, and Robin's never heard her brother so distraught. It makes something keen inside her, the sheer anguish in his voice. “No, no no no, this can't be happening, this can't-” Steve reaches up to pull at this hair, but more snow and ice shoots out from his hand as soon as it's pointing towards the ceiling. He flinches away from his own hand, sheer terror on his face, but with every movement Steve makes more and more snow and ice surrounds him. Within a few seconds, there's a wind picking up as well, and it's like a snowstorm is starting to form right there in the castle dining room.
The crowd, originally shocked into silence, starts to move again. Robin hears screaming, people running, shouting from the guards about an evacuation plan, but it's all faint and distorted like she's underwater. All she can focus on right now is Steve, the way his terror is only worsening by the moment.
“Steve, let me help you,” Robin calls over the roar of the crowd and the storm, taking a few steps towards him. She needs to get his attention before getting closer, the last thing she wants to do right now is startle him.
“Stay away from me!” Steve yells, holding up his hands in an instinctive 'stay back' gesture. Yet more ice shoots out towards Robin as he does so. “I’m not safe!”
“I don't care! You're my brother!” Robin shouts back, but Steve doesn't seem to hear her. He's looking down at his hands in horror, then at the waist-high line of ice between the two of them.
Robin somehow knows what he's going to do the moment before he does it.
“Steve!” Robin screams, breaking into a run. Steve's faster than her, always has been, so he makes it to the doors of the ballroom well before she can catch him. It also helps that people, even the guards posted at the doors, part to make room for him whenever he draws near. Seeing Steve push open the ballroom doors just enough to slip through them, Robin yells again, “Steve! Stop!”
“Princess Robin!” Someone crashes into Robin then, nearly sending the two of them flying. (Robin mentally thanks whatever God there may be that she wore pants and not a dress.) After regaining her footing, Robin looks at her assailant to find- oh, it's that guy. The Duke of one of their main trading partners, Tommy something. Haggard? Halfwit? Yeah, something like that.
“Princess Robin,” Tommy Hapless says, bending over with one hand on his knees and the other holding Robin's elbow as he catches his breath. God, Robin does not have time for this. “Princess, you can't- we need guidance. We need someone to... to lead us while the King is... indisposed.”
“I really don't have time for this,” Robin snaps, brushing his hand off her elbow. “Steve's my brother, I have to find him before he gets hurt!”
“I don't think... he's the one who'll be getting hurt,” Tommy Hanger-On says between gasps, quietly, but not so quiet Robin doesn't hear. She makes a point to stomp on his toes as she stalks off towards Eddie, who is doing his best to help people follow the evacuation advice. He looks faintly queasy, and very much like he would rather be literally anywhere else, but he's actually doing a pretty good job of guiding people where the guards want them.
Eddie doesn't notice her coming, so he jumps when Robin grabs him by the shoulder. She turns him around to face her, then grabs him by the other shoulder as well so she's looking him right in the eyes.
“I need to find Steve,” Robin says, not waiting for Eddie to finish whatever question he's opened his mouth to ask before continuing, “Can you take care of the kingdom until we get back?”
Eddie goes pale instantly. “What? I can't-”
“You're a prince, right? I know Forest-Upon-Hills is a pretty small kingdom, but how different can Hawkins really be?” Eddie doesn't look reassured, but Robin cares very little about that right now. She claps him on both shoulders in what she hopes is an encouraging gesture.
She grabs Eddie's hand and thrusts it up into the air, shouting, “Prince Eddie is in charge until I return!”
She then drops his hand before turning and running out into the night, ignoring the chaos behind her and the faint sounds of Eddie's confused protests.
Nothing matters to her now except for finding Steve.
#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#platonic stobin#stranger things fic#charlie writes things#stranger things frozen au#rockie#<- vickie is not in this snippet but she's kristoff in this AU so. endgame rockie. target audience#steddie#<- yes eddie is prince hans in this. yes he ends up with steve at the end. he's not evil like hans is don't worry about it.#i have a lot more thoughts about this AU because i'm mentally ill please feel free to ask me questions#e.g. i'm thinking dustin is olaf and max is sven purely because I Think It Would Be Funny. + max deserves to be a bitchy reindeer#also olaf!dustin very much has dustin's personality and snark he is nothing like olaf. the only similarity is he is a snow golem steve made#also it should be clear enough in this but considering it's 2am and it's not proofread: robin is Mega Gay in this and ends up w/ vickie#she just needs an excuse for steve to open the gates up again so she can convince him to do it more often after the wedding goes Perfectly™#her plan was to get the marriage annulled afterwards somehow (she has not thought this through At All god bless <3)#robin's like 'steve's in trouble emotionally oh god i have to run into traffic'
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