#like girl these apartments are forsaken by g*d

[kikikillerr-blog]

hate when you're reminded of something stressful right before bed and it's stuck on ur mind. like i can't do anything about that right now please let me sleep

[hargrieve]

hargrieve’s fic recs — october

another month, another time period during which I forgot to read the many many sure-to-be-amazing haikyuu!! recs that I’ve gotten in my inbox over the past few months. someone come shake me and remind me of my roots please.

re the txt fic recs: I am a taegyuist, could you tell? genuinely not sorry about the taehyun-centric fics. am actively looking for more canon compliant or college au taegyu. please i am begging

thank you again for bearing with me as I hop from fandom to fandom! I know that the vast majority of people who follow this series of posts are haikyuu fans; I have not forsaken you yet. get ready for lots of rarepair recs in the coming months, since the rarepair exchange deadline is coming up mid-december :D

@ravenclawboys hello :3

FANDOMS: Haikyuu!!, Tomorrow x Together, You

haikyuu!!:

imposter syndrome by ely_su

ennoshita-centric + ennoshita/futakuchi close friendship (qpr?); rated T+; 11k words; 1/1; ennoshita pov

aromantic and asexual ennoshita figuring things out and coming out. canon compliant

this fic feels quite healing, and the ending was really emotionally satisfying

aro ace pride!!!!

Lost in Translation by rageprufrock

iwaoi; rated T+; 9.6k words; 1/1; iwaizumi pov

iwaizumi as a college student in california; oikawa in argentina

this fic is chock-full of delightful OCs, all of whom exhibit some kind of californian stereotype. ft our beloved iwa being iwa, ie emotionally dense log

as a california native who went to college in california, this was, like, so accurate

do not be put off by the lack of ao3 tags by this author; I can vouch that the fic was EXCELLENT

secrets from a girl-adjacent by minibobas

yachi-centric; rated G; 2k words; 1/1; yachi pov

yachi on growing up and figuring out her gender and sexuality

very touching, and I am sure this story resonates with a lot of people

go go nonbinary lesbians

tomorrow x together:

can you feel the rush by permutative (predebut)

beomgyu/taehyun; rated T+; 23k words; 3/3; taehyun pov

college au in which inexperienced taehyun asks known flirt beomgyu to teach him how to date

truly a college au to the core, from the extended friend groups to the library studying to the singing telegrams on valentine’s day. author is very talented and made me reminisce about college

lots of discussion about math. psets. integrals. Real Anal(ysis). I do not miss u-substitution

taehyun, when someone who is infamously flirtatious takes lots of time out of their schedule to teach you how to date, maybe it means something. did you ever think about that taehyun

dragonfruit by honeysigh

beomgyu/taehyun; rated T+; 10k words; 1/1; taehyun pov

college au in which whipped taehyun agrees to be vice president of beomgyu’s animal crossing club

no, like, taehyun is Down Terrible and beomgyu totally deserves it. writer writes them adorable. as they should

completely unironically, my favorite thing is when writers write background huening kai with a real personality. please. it is what our boy deserves

but i never stopped thinking about you, not even a day by trinitarias

beomgyu-centric; rated T+; 3.4k words; 1/1; beomgyu pov

canon divergent character study where beomgyu does not debut with tomorrox x together

moments of him with each of the band members, afterward

as a beomgyu kinnie: this is pain. like in a beautiful way, but. PAIN

stoplight! go, go by newaches (jsnoopy)

beomgyu/taehyun; rated T+; 2.9k words; 1/1; taehyun pov

canon compliant, where taehyun asks beomgyu to teach him how to kiss and we see all the complications that follow. remix of another fic from beomgyu’s pov

“But as much as he prides himself on his intelligence, no one ever warned him that a pretty boy’s mouth can make you go dumb.”

i’m shaking them by the shoulders. why don’t you just talk about your feelings huh. what are you suffering for

this one is also pain

you (tv series):

what a waste to say the heart could feel apart (or feel complete, baby) by zoeyclarke

love quinn-centric; rated G; 1.5k words; 1/1; love pov

the after-effects of the end of season 3 episode 10

pretty convinced that this is one of the best, if not the best, fic in the teeny tiny “you” fandom on ao3

recs I received in my inbox:

fixation by red_racer

sakuatsu; rated T+; 41k words; 5/5; atsumu pov

summary: “Atsumu develops a fixation on Sakusa Kiyoomi in high school but it’s just a phase, right? // In which Atsumu makes every excuse to hang out with Sakusa and against all odds, Sakusa lets him.”

perihelion by vastlight

atsuhina; rated T+; 23k words; 1/1

summary: “Atsumu sees him at sixteen, seventeen, twenty-two, twenty-five, compounded into one incredible monster of a being, compounded into one Hinata Shouyou. // Lessons in closing the distance of admiration.”

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[numeronubisexualhawkeye]

Take Cover

2194 words

Years of training and running missions with the Red Room, Natasha had learned that there are fates worse than death. Being captured and beaten to a pulp for information, having a partner tortured in front of her, getting a bullet that would release her from her hell of a life only to be revived or put on ice. Natasha knew so many of death’s faces that she believed nothing could faze her anymore, but she never thought she would find one of its faces in the man who had set her free.

A part of her felt stupid for hating Clint as much as she did. She should have been grateful to him. He had cut out one of the deaths Natasha had feared for so long by bringing her to Shield. She was in their protection, far from the Red Room, and after months of work, had finally been deprogrammed. Life was still nothing but missions and time spent between missions, but she had room to roam, room to live and breathe like any human should have. It was a freedom she never thought she could have, but it also meant that she owed him something, and for that, she hated him.

But despite her hatred, she was constantly paired with him for missions. At first, she thought it was because Shield didn’t trust her to be with anyone else, but then she started to realize it was because no one else wanted to work with her. When she had first realized that, it made her puff out a little with pride. She was the big, scary, new girl in town, and she was good, no, great, at what she did. If she was in their shoes, she’d be scared of her too. But everyone else’s fear meant that Clint was the only one she could effectively work with, which meant she had all that more reason to hate him. Each time he wiggled his way into her routine on a mission, each word of encouragement, every wink and nudge was torture, and she knew that he was doing it to mess with her. She was starting to wonder how someone like him ever got the call to work with Shield and then have the skill to take her down.

At first, she feared that her hatred was unrequited, Clint’s jabs at her just his asshole-ish attitude, but when Phil briefed them on their newest mission, Natasha was relieved to find out that he was just as upset as she was.

“Married? Are you fucking kidding me?” Clint had exclaimed days earlier when they first got the news.

“Listen, I know you think this is bad,” Phil had started.

“This is worse than bad. This is, this is,” Clint stumbled over finding the words to match his distress.

“The fucking worst.” Natasha filled in. It wasn’t as poignant as she was hoping for, but “this is what’s going to be in my suicide note” felt a little too harsh.

The two of them had had two missions before where they had to pose as a couple, though they didn’t need to act on it much, as they both ensured their missions ran a lot shorter than their original estimated duration. Six hours was the record so far, Clint taking out an arms dealer in Waco a few months back. Natasha was glad to have chucked the cheap silver ring down a storm drain when they left to go back to their rendezvous point.

But this time, they had to do the real deal. No fake rings, no fake marriage license put together in PhotoShop, and no extra sleeping bag packed so they wouldn’t have to share a bed. They had to cross international borders this time, trekking all the way to Portugal, posing as a couple for several weeks, months even if things went south, and Shield thought it best to get legal licenses made. So the day after their briefing, they went to the courthouse as David and Anya Nicholson, with a photographer with them just to make sure their cover was authentic as possible, and signed their names.

It was torture, and with the cheery young woman taking their pictures, cooing and gleefully showing them the shots of she and Clint, arms wrapped around each other, smiling through the agony of the situation, and a few shots of them kissing. Neither one of them admitted it, but they were both a tad bit sloshed during the entire thing. Turns out spy training is helpful for holding down alcohol too.

The flight out to Portugal was painfully long. Having to sit next to Clint’s snoring, chewing, and just sitting next to him for twelve hours was the worst insult to an already bleeding out injury. She thought that things couldn’t have gotten much worse, but when they landed and got to the apartment they would be sharing for however long this G-d forsaken mission was going to take, there was to their horror, only one bed.

“Is the mission to kill a human trafficker or each other?” Clint groaned, tossing his stuff down on the couch in the living room.

Natasha didn’t say anything. There was an unspoken agreement between them that in times when they had only one proper sleeping spot, Natasha would get the bed, and he would set up on the floor in a sleeping bag or the couch. It had never been a big point of contingency before, but with the added flare of being legally married and the duration of the mission, the situation felt like rubbing salt in the wound.

She went to the bedroom and changed into something more comfortable, and stayed there for a while with the door closed, reading over the files of the guy they were supposed to be taking out. Their target was too high into the ranks of local politics for him to be taken out with a bullet to the head or arrow through the neck. Too many allies and people who would notice him vanishing. No, they had to wear him down, and make him leave on his own accord, or at least make it look like a very convincing accident, hence the duration and heavy cover. Their objective for tonight was to attend a gala as newlywed grad students, in town for research and an extended honeymoon, and work their way into their target’s inner circle. Shouldn’t be too hard, both she and Clint spoke Portuguese, and even though they would be lying through their teeth, she figured that they could hold down an engaging enough conversation.

That evening, they got dressed in the nicest outfits they had packed with them, and headed across town to the museum the gala would be at. It was a small event, which Natasha appreciated, less eyes to catch she and Clint together, both as a work duo, and a couple. Their target, some middle aged guy named Theo was lounging in the corner of some exhibit, eyes catching Natasha in her shimmery cocktail dress immediately.

Clint had his arm interlocked with hers, rubbing his thumb up and down her arm affectionately. Chill out Tasha. He’s just playing along.

They walked up to the target and Natasha didn’t even have to play up her act all that much. Theo was onto her in a second, ignoring Clint altogether, only giving him a glance when Natasha introduced him as her husband. G-d saying that aloud felt weird. She hoped that in the coming weeks, it would start to feel more like work and not some awful parody of who she had to be for the job.

“Ah, newlyweds.” Theo said, still keeping his gaze on Natasha, his eyes roaming every inch of her. “You two will love the university here, and the city. It’s very...enchanting, if you know what I mean.”

Natasha let out an airy laugh. “Oh, I’m sure we’ll get around to some sight seeing eventually. Won’t we babe?” She looked up at Clint, who had been particularly silent this entire time.

“Yeah, can’t wait.” he replied. He sounded tense, which made her nervous. This was supposed to be the easy part. All they had to do was play the happy young couple, happy to finally be abroad and in love, but Clint’s stony expression was making it seem like Natasha was holding him hostage.

“You alright?” she asked, “Why don’t you go get something to drink, I’ll wait here with Theo for you to get back.”

Clint shot a glance from her and then to Theo, his eyes narrow, “I’m fine. I actually wanna dance. Be a shame for all this good music to go to waste.”

Something in Natasha twinged, what the hell was he doing? But it was better to play along. She could buy back time with Theo later, they were here for a while, and it would look better for her to go dance with her supposed husband than turn him down. “Sure. I’ll be back in a little bit, okay Theo?” Natasha wagged her fingers at the target as Clint hooked his arm in hers again and led her to the dance floor.

They swayed back and forth to some jazzy cover of an Elvis song. Natasha had to fight the urge to roll her eyes when she realized it was I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You. She rested her head on Clint’s shoulder, partly playing into the cover, and partly because she was tired and her heels were aching on top of her already blistered feet.

“He’s looking over here again.” Clint whispered harshly in her ear. They had danced together before on previous missions, and she was used to him having to whisper softly in her ear to pass something along about their target. But his voice now wasn’t as blunt as it usually was. Well, no. It was blunt, but there was an edge of heat to it now, an edge of anger.

“Okay?” Natasha said, her own voice taking up a strange tone, confusion maybe? What would make Clint so angry right now? This was work, Theo was supposed to be looking at her, and Clint was supposed to be watching him, but she knew that he was watching him in a different sense now.

“Can I please just put a knife through that guy’s throat?” Clint growled.

“David.” she said, pulling back and gazing into his eyes. He looked down at her and she saw it, that flash of anger in his expression that wiped away when he noticed her looking at him. “Let’s go.”

Clint didn’t need any further instruction. They walked off the dance floor, and made their way back to the apartment. Once the door clicked shut behind them, Natasha went in. “What the fuck was that Barton?”

Clint didn’t say anything, just stormed off to the bathroom, which of course they had to share. “Barton, I’m talking to you.” she said going after him. He was already had the bathroom door closed behind him and she heard the shower switch on. “Barton!”

The bathroom door swung open and she was met with Clint’s angry eyes. “That guy is fucking buy and selling women like they’re fucking puppies, and you’re just, you’re so fucking casual about it!”

“Well how the fuck else am I supposed to be? We’re spies Barton, not mercenaries. You think I like that I have to pretend to be nice to that guy?”

“You probably like it a lot more than having to be married to me.” he fumed.

“Oh don’t you even fucking start. I saw you out there. You’re-”

“I’m what?” Clint started, stepping toward her out of the bathroom, “A normal human with morals? Because if I were you, I would have snapped that guy’s neck the moment he set eyes on you.”

That wasn’t it. He was getting too personal. This wasn’t about Theo being a disgusting human, this was about her. They had taken out traffickers before with less rigid covers, and had butted heads about things like this before, but he would usually only give jaded comments about how calm she managed to be, calling her an Ice Queen or apathetic. But never had he spent so many words like this.

Natasha was taken aback. Was he concerned about her? He had no reason to be, he’d seen her when she was still with the Red Room. He knew better than anybody what she was capable of, and if their mission hadn’t been covert, she would have absolutely put a bullet between Theo’s eyes before he could so much as turn his head to look at her.

“What the hell is this really about?” she asked. She knew, but she wanted to be wrong. She didn’t want his concern, she already owed him a debt, she didn’t need to have him catching feelings or feeling that he needed to protect her.

Clint didn’t answer. Instead he slammed the bathroom door shut and Natasha heard the shower switch on. She didn’t wait for him to come out to talk to him again, she had her answer.

[ggoldstein-blog1]

❝ In my mind I am eloquent; I can climb intricate scaffolds of words to reach the highest cathedral ceilings and paint my thoughts. But when I open my mouth, everything collapses. ❞

RILEY HAYES-GOLDSTEIN really is the spitting image of MARGARET QUALLEY, right? For someone only 23 years old, RILEY has been forced to endure so much. Yeah, that HALFBLOOD has been scraping by at the sanctuary since MARCH, 2028, working as a SUPPLY RUNNER in the DIVISION OF FORAGE. SHE is a CIS-WOMAN and is known to be SARDONIC and PESSIMISTIC but also WITTY and MORALLY RESPONSIBLE. Best of luck surviving through this. ⊰ JINX, 24, PST, SHE/THEY ⊱

CHARACTER PARALLELS: Daria ( Daria ), Seth Cohen ( The OC ), Veronica Sawyer( Heathers ), Ron Swanson/Ben Wyatt ( Parks & Rec ), Quentin Coldwater ( The Magicians ), Pam Beasley ( The Office ), Zari Tomaz ( Legends of Tomorrow ), Nadine Franklin ( Edge of Seventeen ), Lindsay Weir ( Freaks and Geeks )

PINTREST: [ x ]

When you meet Riley Hayes, a picturesque childhood in a picturesque suburbia is not what you would expect and yet it was exactly what she had. Born on the cusp of summer and fall, Rachel and Christopher were over the moon to have their daughter born on August 28, 2010. Finally, a child to complete the perfect family unit. Maybe they had hoped for a boy despite what science said ( hence the name Riley & a full name for a boy they had prepared ) but, they had a daughter and for the first ten years of her life they pampered her greatly. Trips to the coast every summer to visit his side of the family where Riley was praised for being such a pretty, good girl, and what seemed like infinite love from her father was doled out as long as she was what he wanted her to be. The younger girl was cooperative, it was in her nature it seemed, because she loved seeing her parents happy with each other. As long as Riley stayed within the lines, stayed within Christopher’s lines at least, everything would be well. Even when Riley started to develop a few habits and interests that were off the wall, he brushed them aside as childhood obsessions. Never could he accept his family for what they were which is exactly why he left.

[ PARENTAL ABANDONMENT TW ] The ugly truth was, Riley was an accident and the picture painted had been a lie – not that Riley knew until then. While she knew they had gotten married young she’d never known how much exactly her mother had given up to be with her father. Rachel Hayes had left her family, forsaken her religion ( as Christopher was a very religious Christian man ), the semi famous Goldstein Wizarding name, and moved down south into this suburbia all with the promise of a family. The biggest thing? Magic. When Christopher left a year before Riley entered Hogwarts school, Riley was forced to grow up and pick up the pieces of a broken lost woman who simply couldn’t find herself in the rubble that was the aftermath of her father leaving. But finding out she was an accident was the least of her worries. No matter how much poetry she wrote trying to figure out her mind, oftentimes thinking she was losing it, something within her was different, something within her felt different. [ END PARENTAL ABANDONMENT TW ] 

It took a few months to coax the why from her mother, and truly she was her caretaker. It wasn’t until her 10th birthday when she got the letter from Ilvermony that she realized what exactly was off. When she confronted her mother – her mother just poured everything out to her. Who Riley was, who her family was, what she was doing with her life before she met Christopher. At first, Riley couldn’t believe it – – she’d grown up hiding comics under her bed, hiding anything about the supernatural away. Even if her whole life she had felt a weird pull to these people who didn’t belong in her comics, these freaks, she never in her wildest dreams thought she’d have something in common with them. It all made sense though, and finally the pieces of her life started to come together. Riley knew what she had to do, so at the age of 10, she went with her mother to Wizarding NYC to try to find out more. To try to find the family her mother left behind.

After that, everything fell into place – her family was beyond accepting, even if they gave her shit, more than she’d ever known from her dad’s family and her mom started to get better as she become more true to herself. The family reconciled, helping Riley and Rachel move into a flat in NYC, in Chinatown. Rachel got a job at the American Ministry as an assistant and with the help of some family members and Riley started to prepare for school wizarding school. She’d never been more happy in her life. New York City was her home, more than her podunk shitty town ever had, and she felt a freedom that made her wander the city, she felt a freedom to finally be herself. The only issue then? Riley wanted to go to a school far away from everything, because even if New York was her home, she needed to a break from being in the states. A break from all these people who knew who her family was & really, a place that was her own to find her own in the world. Easily, she picked Hogwarts and was delighted when they accepted her no matter how far she was. Hufflepuff was the perfect house for her, even if she wasn’t the most conventional or stereotypical kind of one.

For years, she pushed away a lot of the pain she felt – she figured her pain was her own, it was selfish of her to dwell on it or even think about it when she had this new fantastic life. Only in her poetry would she divulge her feelings, only her poetry knew that she felt inexplicably lost in the world the more she saw it. Around her 14th birthday, she met two boys in school who were a bit older than her but the twins ended up being her half-brothers – as they found they shared a father. A scumbag father who’d also been horrible to them. It was then that Riley wanted to distance herself from her father even more, fiercely signing and writing her last name as Hayes-Goldstein or just Goldstein when she could get away with it.

[ DEPRESSION MENTION ] The thing was, the reminder of her father, the reminder that he was out there ruining more people’s lives, that he was out there spawning more children really intensely messed with Riley’s head. Why wasn’t she good enough for him to stay? Why couldn’t they have been enough? It was stupid, but the thoughts started to consume her and the lost feeling just got bigger. [ DRINKING, DRUGS MENTION ] Picking up vices like smoking, smoking pot, drinking beer after a long day of work, anything to escape the feeling that she didn’t really have a place in this world. Not one she could see. What was she even going to do with her life after school? What did she have to offer the world? A loneliness she could not shake slept with her at night like any blanket did, every day felt like she was smothered. [ DRUGS, DRINKING, DEPRESSION MENTION END ] Every day there was a new realization that she didn’t know what the hell she wanted to do with her life, that she didn’t really have a place in the world.

After graduating she lived in a tiny shitty flat by herself in muggle London ( but she loved it ) with her cat Bogart the 3rd, worked at a book store in Diagon Alley and focused on her own writing, attempting to get it published. When the Inferi outbreak happened she had just gotten her first non-rejection from a publishing press, at 23, but as fate would have it the world fell apart. When the climate in the Wizarding World of England became a developing war zone, Riley wanted nothing to do with it but because of who she was – because of what her religion reminded of her – she couldn’t just stand idly by. Riley knew that even if she was Neutral, she would fight & die with her friends if need be, but nothing prepared for a zombie outbreak. Riley is beyond fucked up and freaked out by the idea of zombies, finding comfort in her religion but questioning it even further – how could G-d allow this? She did what she could for the effort at Hogwarts, angry, scared, and simply trying to make sure the people she loves survives as well as herself. 

LIKES & INTERESTS: Cult Classics - Movies ( Heathers, Dead Poets Society, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Cruel Intentions, The Breakfast Club, Almost Famous ), Blue raspberry Slushies, Donuts, Judaism, Arctic Monkeys, Lana Del Rey, The Smiths, the color blue, writing poetry, e. e. cummings, art museums, greek mythology, rmemes, Rolling joints on her favorite books, biblical mythology, astronomy, astrology ( she finds it very entertaining in a mocking way and would never admit there’s a small part of her that enjoys it ), Star Wars, black cats, black cats named Boggart, black nail polish, tattoos, carnivals, comic books, ferris wheels, puns, the sea, jellyfish, NPR every morning, going to the beach at twilight, 4 am drives, 5am runs, spliff.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Observant, Cooperative, Strategic, Witty, Intelligent, Resilient, Responsible.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reserved, Pessimistic, Sardonic, Secretive, Curious ( it will get her into trouble ), Awkward, Suspicious.

[phantombones]

RILEY HAYES-GOLDSTEIN really is the spitting image of MARGARET QUALLEY, right? For someone only EIGHTEEN ( VIRGO ) years old, RILEY has been forced to endure so much. Yeah, that HALFBLOOD has been scraping by at the sanctuary since MARCH, 2028, working as a SUPPLY RUNNER in the DIVISION OF FORAGE. SHE identifies as CIS-FEMALE and is known to be SARDONIC and PESSIMISTIC but also WITTY and MORALLY RESPONSIBLE. Best of luck surviving through this.

CHARACTER PARALLELS: Daria ( Daria ), Seth Cohen ( The OC ), Veronica Sawyer ( Heathers ), Ron Swanson ( Parks & Rec ), Rory Gilmore ( Gilmore Girls ), Pam Beasley ( The Office )

PINTREST: [ x ]

TRIGGERS: parental abandonment, mentions of drugs and alcohol.

LIKES & INTERESTS: Cult Classics - Movies ( Heathers, Dead Poets Society, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Cruel Intentions, The Breakfast Club, Almost Famous ), Blue raspberry Slushies, Donuts, Judaism, Arctic Monkeys, Lana Del Rey, The Smiths, the color blue, writing poetry, e. e. cummings, art museums, greek mythology, rmemes, Rolling joints on her favorite books, biblical mythology, astronomy, astrology ( she finds it very entertaining in a mocking way and would never admit there’s a small part of her that enjoys it ), Star Wars, black cats, black cats named Boggart, black nail polish, tattoos, carnivals, comic books, ferris wheels, puns, the sea, jellyfish, NPR every morning, going to the beach at twilight, 4 am drives, 5am runs, spliff.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Observant, Cooperative, Strategic, Witty, Intelligent, Resilient, Responsible.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reserved, Pessimistic, Sardonic, Secretive, Curious ( it will get her into trouble ), Awkward, Suspicious.

When you meet Riley Hayes, a picturesque childhood in a picturesque suburbia is not what you would expect and yet it was exactly what she had. Born on the cusp of summer and fall, Rachel and Christopher were over the moon to have their daughter born on August 28, 2010. Finally, a child to complete the perfect family unit. Maybe they had hoped for a boy despite what science said ( hence the name Riley & a full name for a boy they had prepared ) but, they had a daughter and for the first ten years of her life they pampered her greatly. Trips to the coast every summer to visit his side of the family where Riley was praised for being such a pretty, good girl, and what seemed like infinite love from her father was doled out as long as she was what he wanted her to be. The younger girl was cooperative, it was in her nature it seemed, because she loved seeing her parents happy with each other. As long as Riley stayed within the lines, stayed within Christopher’s lines at least, everything would be well. Even when Riley started to develop a few habits and interests that were off the wall, he brushed them aside as childhood obsessions. Never could he accept his family for what they were which is exactly why he left.

The ugly truth was, Riley was an accident and the picture painted had been a lie – not that Riley knew until then. While she knew they had gotten married young she’d never known how much exactly her mother had given up to be with her father. Rachel Hayes had left her family, forsaken her religion ( as Christopher was a very religious Christian man ), the semi famous Goldstein Wizarding name, and moved down south into this suburbia all with the promise of a family. The biggest thing? Magic. When Christopher left a year before Riley entered Hogwarts school, Riley was forced to grow up and pick up the pieces of a broken lost woman who simply couldn’t find herself in the rubble that was the aftermath of her father leaving. But finding out she was an accident was the least of her worries. No matter how much poetry she wrote trying to figure out her mind, oftentimes thinking she was losing it, something within her was different, something within her felt different.

It took a few months to coax the why from her mother, and truly she was her caretaker. It wasn’t until her 10th birthday when she got the letter from Ilvermony that she realized what exactly was off. When she confronted her mother – her mother just poured everything out to her. Who Riley was, who her family was, what she was doing with her life before she met Christopher. At first, Riley couldn’t believe it – – she’d grown up hiding comics under her bed, hiding anything about the supernatural away. Even if her whole life she had felt a weird pull to these people who didn’t belong in her comics, these freaks, she never in her wildest dreams thought she’d have something in common with them. It all made sense though, and finally the pieces of her life started to come together. Riley knew what she had to do, so at the age of 10, she went with her mother to Wizarding NYC to try to find out more. To try to find the family her mother left behind.

After that, everything fell into place – her family was beyond accepting, even if they gave her shit, more than she’d ever known from her dad’s family and her mom started to get better as she become more true to herself. The family reconciled, helping Riley and Rachel move into a flat in NYC, in Chinatown. Rachel got a job at the ministry as an assistant and with the help of some family members and Riley started to prepare for school Wizarding School. She’d never been more happy in her life. New York City was her home, more than her podunk shitty town ever had, and she felt a freedom that made her wander the city, she felt a freedom to finally be herself. The only issue then? Riley wanted to go to a school far away from everything, because even if New York was her home, she needed to a break from being in the states. A break from all these people who knew who her family was & really, a place that was her own to find her own in the world. Easily, she picked Hogwarts and was delighted when they accepted her no matter how far she was. Hufflepuff was the perfect house for her, even if she wasn’t the most conventional or stereotypical kind of one.

For years, she pushed away a lot of the pain she felt – she figured her pain was her own, it was selfish of her to dwell on it or even think about it when she had this new fantastic life. Only in her poetry would she divulge her feelings, only her poetry knew that she felt inexplicably lost in the world the more she saw it. Around her 14th birthday, she met two boys in school who were a bit older than her but the twins ended up being her half-brothers -- as they found they shared a father. A scumbag father who’d also been horrible to them. It was then that Riley wanted to distance herself from her father even more, fiercely signing and writing her last name as Hayes-Goldstein or just Goldstein when she could get away with it.

The thing was, the reminder of her father, the reminder that he was out there ruining more people’s lives, that he was out there spawning more children really intensely messed with Riley’s head. Why wasn’t she good enough for him to stay? Why couldn’t they have been enough? It was stupid, but the thoughts started to consume her and the lost feeling just got bigger. Picking up vices like smoking, smoking pot, drinking beer like she was her own father after a long day of work, anything to escape the feeling that she didn’t really have a place in this world. Not one she could see. What was she even going to do with her life after school? What did she have to offer the world? A loneliness she could not shake slept with her at night like any blanket did, every day felt like she was smothered. Every day there was a new realization that she didn’t know what the hell she wanted to do with her life, and that she didn’t really have a place in the world. When the climate in the Wizarding World of England became a developing war zone, Riley wanted nothing to do with it but because of who she was – because of what her religion reminded of her – she couldn’t just stand idly by. Riley knew that even if she was Neutral, she would fight with her friends if need be, but nothing prepared for a zombie outbreak.

She had stayed in the UK for the family she’d now made there, the dude squad, her cousins, her brothers, her best friend Isa Potter was there as well. She’d just finished transitioning moving into their new place when the news hit and things spiraled from there, staying by Isa’s side the whole way. Now, she’s been at the castle and misses her old life, more so the comforts of it. Netflix. Memes. Accommodations and not having to worry about the end of the world truly being torn apart - and end near. Riley is beyond fucked up and freaked out by the idea of zombies, finding comfort in her religion but questioning it even further -- how could G-d allow this? She did what she could for the effort at Hogwarts, angry, scared, and simply trying to make sure the people she loves survives as well as herself.

ADDITIONAL INFO:

I once called her a Memelord Shitstain. I stand by that.

Cousin to Nathan Hayes! Also bigger roaster of Nathan Hayes!!

If Lana Del Rey and Weird Al’ Yankovic did a duet, that would be Riley’s vibe. LOL.

Never learned how to properly swim really but often dreams of water and loves water a lot. WILL DEADASS run in water and jump in it but doesn’t go too deep even though she wants to.

Riley is very content with the friends she has, the dudesquad, isa, she’s surprised she even has that many and Loves them. But Riley is becoming more open to people and friends as its the end of the world and WHY NOT? 

Riley has a natural inclination towards legilimency, her first sign of magic was actually poking around someone’s mind in a grocery store and influencing them to eat a random frozen meal on accident but it’s not a developed skill in the slightest and truthfully Riley doesn’t EVER want to go into it. It’s really not developed it’s just like a fun fact. a tidbit!

that’s all she wrote!! I hope this is good and please like this if you’d like to plot!!

[patricksilvrrozartistry]

Current Music Obsessions: October 1 - 16, 2017

Sorry for being late with this one. I've been rather busy this past week, but we're here with some great tunes! I have A LOT to get through this time. So here are the MANY honorable mentions.

Sleeping Romance - My Temptation Fenrir's Scar - Fearless Heart Architects - Doomsday The Erkonauts - The Snick Numenor - Moria Valhalla Lights - Opposite Sides Wheelfall - Violence is Seduction Sinistro - Petalas The Hardkiss - Lovers The Birthday Massacre - One Magion - Forever Mine Angel Nation - Burn the Witch Belphegor - Baphomet Carious - Integration of the Shadow Mastodon - Blue Walsh New Skin - New Skin Grave Pleasures - Joy Through Death Kari Rueslatten - My Lover The Dirty Youth - Hurricane Eleine - Hell Moon (We Shall Never Die) Alcyona - Enchantment Incubus - Dig Awaken Solace - End of Innocence As Old as Time - Escape feat. Sophia Akasha (Pendulum Zero) Disclarity - Ghosts Vovkulaka - My Devil Echopraxia - Mortal Coil Aviira - D E / A D W E I G H T Twelve Foot Ninja - One Hand Killing Secret Rule - The Song of the Universe Dreamarcher - Shadows Pagliacci - A Place to Hide feat. Snowy Shaw Myrkur - Funeral feat. Chelsea Wolfe Devin Townsend Project - Kingdom Xiphea - Briar Rose Prey - The Hunter Sound Storm - Forsaken Black Moth - Room 13 Soulside - Amaurotic

And now the many obsessions.

1) Kari Rueslatten - I Manens Favn

I decided to to check out some of Kari's EARLY releases since I'm most familiar with her newer stuff and I came across this track of hers from the 90's. The folk element is very strong in this track. It's such a catchy and fun track and really great to just jam out to.

2) Alexandra Martin - Burden of Hope

I rekindled my love for this gorgeous track. Alexandra was the original front woman of the gothic metal band Adastreia, but has been releasing music on her own for the past few years. This song is so beautiful and is full of so much emotion. I plan on doing a vocal cover of this song soon and I can't wait to see/hear how that turns out.

3) My Propane - Home

Another song I rekindled my love for. Valerio has such a great voice that is just pure sex. It's so great. The "woo" after the first chorus is my favorite bit. This song is just so comforting to me for some reason and is just so great to chill to.

4) The Dark Element - My Sweet Mystery

This is the song for their first music video and it's so fun. I am so happy that Anette is back in an active metal project and I seriously need to get around to listening to their debut album, because I'm loving everything I'm hearing so far. Symphonic power metal at its finest.

5) Crysalys - Moonlight Encounter

This is their first song in 6 years and I am so here for it! They're going in a more traditional symphonic metal direction now, which is really nice. Not only that, but they now have a male singer, Andrea. He has such a lovely voice and he is so fine. His and Chiara's voices blend so beautifully together and I can't wait to hear more from the upcoming album.

6) Cradle of Filth - Achingly Beautiful

Their new album is absolutely AMAZING. One of their bests in 10 years. This song is the perfect example of their evolution, while still keeping their roots and maintaining a classic CoF vibe. It's dark, beautiful and in your face. If you haven't listened to this album yet, DO IT.

7) Tragul - Into the Heart of the Sun

This is Zuberoa Aznarez's new project and I'm really digging it. It's very different from Diabulus in Musica. Instead of it being progressive, symphonic gothic metal, it's more of a symphonic power metal project. I really want to hear more from them, because it's nice to hear Zuberoa explore new sounds that are different from DiM.

8) Teodasia - Two Worlds Apart

This song is my favorite off of Metamorphosis and they released a video for it! The video is absolutely GORGEOUS and Chiara looks absolutely divine in it. Speaking of which, Chiara has joined the band is now a full time member Teodasia now! I really enjoy her work with Temperance, so I'm really looking forward to what new dimensions she'll bring to Teodasia.

9) Amberian Dawn - Maybe

If Abba decided to release a metal track, this is how it would sound. This song is so lovely, fun and catchy. It's so different from what I've heard from these guys in the past. I was a bit worried that the mixing on the guitars were going to be tuned down super low on the album like they are on this song, but it's only for this song, which is great. Even so, the tuned down guitars really suit this song and helps further push the Abba vibe of it that makes it so good.

10) Revolution Saints - I Wouldn't Change a Thing

I decided to give this song a listen after seeing their record label post the video for it and I fell in love. It's such a lovely song and very different from what I was expecting. I'm definitely going to listen to more from them, because I really enjoy this track.

11) Metalite - Afterlife

I discovered this band through their record label and fell in love. They're like Amaranthe, just minus all the male vocals. It's fun, upbeat, strong electronic element and a great power metal vibe. I'm definitely am going to give their new album a listen, because this and the second song I've heard from them are absolutely amazing.

12) October Ends - Dismal

I'm so glad that the lead singer of this band started following me on IG a while back, because I'm really digging their stuff. This is probably my favorite song they've released so far. It's in your face, but not so much that it's overwhelming. I really need to check out if they've released an album or EP this year and give it a listen if so.

13) Evenoire - Girl By the Lake

I decided to finally check out some of their early stuff prior to their amazing Herons album. This song is so beautiful and definitely leans more power metal than the stuff I'm most familiar with on Herons (those lean more progressive/symphonic metal). It's such a great track and I really need to check out more from the early days. It really sucks that they're no longer together, but hopefully Lisy will continue to make music elsewhere.

14) Beast in Black - Blind and Frozen

It's very rare that I ever fall madly in love with a male fronted power metal band since I'm so picky about male singers in the genre. This song is so catchy and fun. From the moment the first verse happened, I knew that I was going to thoroughly enjoy this track, and I definitely do. I can't wait to finally be able to give their debut album a listen, because this song is everything.

15) Misteyes - Creeping Time

These guys never fail to impress me with their music. It's very aggressive symphonic gothic metal and it's so good. The video looks wonderful and really suits the vibe of the song. It's both gorgeous and intense. I really need to listen to more from them already.

16) Shireen - Umai

This was a random YT discovery that really caught my attention. It's a very pretty folk pop track. So wonderful to just chill out to due to it's very mellow and gentle sound. I'm definitely am going to check out more from them.

17) Leprous - Contaminate Me (live)

I discovered this song through the Try Not To Headbang Challenge video I did not too long ago. It's so different compared to the other songs I've heard from due to how heavy and in your face it is. It's such an epic track to put on and jam to. I really need to hear the studio version and figure out which I like better. I will say this though, Einar's voice is heavenly in this.

18) Tarja - Supremacy (live)

I got to listening to The Shadow Self recently and when this song popped up, I remembered seeing a video where someone had live footage of her performing this and her hitting a super high note in the bridge. Naturally I had to check it out and see if was real. Bruh. It's real! Homegirl hits a super high note during the guitar solo and I am living for it! I wish I could see her live at ProgPower USA next year, but the tickets have sold out already. There's always next time though.

19) OncetheSun - Asphyxia

I discovered these guys through an ad on Facebook last year and decided to check them out. They're an atmospheric-ish progressive metal band from the states and they released the music for this song. It's such a great track to just chill to. I really need to listen to their latest album again, because I remember it being really great and different.

20) Mikko Joensuu - Dream About a Miracle

I discovered this beautiful ambient track through their record label. It's so peaceful and haunting. It's so lovely and emotional. It's all in them orchestrations, the backing vocals and the singer's droney kind of voice. I'm definitely am gonna check out more from them, because this is absolutely gorgeous.

That's it for the first two weeks of October! I'll be back at the beginning of November with the last half of obsessions for October.