#like girl shes the only irl person who knows im trans

[kittycatcarla]

Hey chat quick question

How can i tell my absolute bestest friend that i love enourmously and in whom i have the upmost level of trust and loving and care and with whom for the past about 10 months i dont think a single day passed without us at least texting eachother. That..

Theres a possibility that i might have picked up romantic feelings for her

But telling her that without running the risk of abysmally ruining our friendship, due to the development of romantic feelings

[tea-and-secrets]

ive watched my best friend of eight years go from cis girl, to nonbinary, to demiboy, to transmasculine, to nonbinary, and now she's leaning back into woman-aligned territory- and it's genuinely scaring me a little bit. like, she was so unhappy in her body and mind and just who she was when she was originally presenting as a girl. thats why she transitioned- that's what she told me, anyways. she also told me the reason she stopped publicly using he/they is because "other people stopped using [those pronouns] for me when i became okay with she/her" and it's like... bestie... you don't have to detransition just because other people are perceiving you as already having done so. idk it just really feels weird to me.

she's started drawing herself with a feminine figure (breasts, etc) too, when less than a year ago she called me genuinely crying and distraught because a friend kept drawing her with eyelashes (a stylistic choice the friend had where girls had eyelashes and boys didnt). she's started dressing more femininely when even a few months ago she would've avoided any feminine clothing like the plague. she hasn't worn her binder in weeks, when she was scared to take it off for years!

i dunno. it feels like a big change out of nowhere and it's getting to me a little. we've been friends for eight years now, best friends for most of that time. she's told me about everything in her life, her struggles, her identity issues, her desire to be perceived as anything other than woman, how much she loved seeing herself in a mirror when she wore a binder, how much she struggled with s/h when she presented as a woman before knowing what 'trans' meant, and i just.. i don't know

i'm transmasculine nonbinary myself, have been for ~5 years. she was the only other not-a-man transmasc person i knew irl, we bonded a lot over shared experiences and spent late nights talking about our identities and what they meant to us. part of me wonders if our bonding even still 'holds up' now that she doesn't really... have those experiences anymore. part of me wonders if she ever had those experiences in the first place.

i'm going to respect her identity no matter what is is, of course! she is my best friend- literally, i cannot think of a single person im closer to than her- and i love her regardless. this is why i'm saying it all here and not in her dms.

.

[nivisob]

XOXO ᡣ𐭩

Hey gamers,

I’m Andreas / Ted (testing) / Hollis

past users : @fasterthanasp33dingbullet @jysian @slopmasc @stylerzz04 @thqtcher

Preferably only call me Andreas if you know me irl

I’m an autistic (+ a bunch of other stuff) system with adhd as well who literally doesn’t do anything but shitpost on this account. I AM A MINOR. DNI if you are nsfw.

Sometimes I’ll post about my special interests but most of this is just a glimpse into my sick and twisted head… heh.

(You can legally kill me for that joke, it’s encouraged actually)

LABELS ᡣ𐭩

My labels are fucking bonkers, so bare with me:

Intersex nonhuman trans gay boygirl, he/him but please use she/her if you don’t know me very well. Same goes for terms

INTERESTS ᡣ𐭩

They change a lot but here are my main ones

(Bold for hyperfixations, italics for special interests)

MUSIC : siouxsie and the banshees, the cure, sign crushes motorist, bauhaus, harley poe, icp, tv girl, tally hall and it’s side projects, rob zombie, GHOST, teenage disaster, johnnascus, afourteen, GHOST and pals, femtanyl, MAILPUP, S3RL

MEDIA : zero day, ride the cyclone, mandela catalogue, don’t feed the muse, lacey’s games, azumanga daioh, smiling friends, pizza time pizza, happy meat farms, walten files, chuckle sandwich, johnny the homicidal maniac, handsome man friends, deadpool

CONTENT CREATORS : ted nivison, slimecicle, alex bale, wendigoon, schlatt (because of chuckle sandwich, dni mcyt schlatt likers), jerma, flamingo, kubz scouts, doctor nowhere

GAMES : re4, hotline miami, postal, cry of fear, afraid of monsters, lollipop chainsaw, tf2, , papa’s freezeria, overwatch, miitopia, danganronpa (to an extent. If it’s ur spin/hyperfixation, I’ll talk about it with you because it was once my special interest but I DO NOT post danganronpa stuff), roblox (specifically gunfight arena, I’ll fuck someone up at gunfight arena trust)

MISC : psychology, horror movies as a whole (im going to horrorcon in december ^__^), computer science/programming, hacktivism, human anatomy, really anything to do with brains and how trauma affects it???

DNI ᡣ𐭩

tcc weirdos, if ur any of my bf’s opps (you are also my opp) ,under 14, over 21 (unless we’re close and have known eachother) (mutual @scouts-cosplays is immune to this rule) (he’s cool, hello oomf), racists, homophobes/transphobes, zionists, MAPs and zoos (I used to hunt your kind for sport back in my day… [said in old man voice]), nsfw blogs, melanie martinez fans, zionists, pro-contact paraphiles, exclusionists, radfems/radqueers, pro/comshippers, j.k rowling / harry potter fans, mcyt fans (specifically tommy likers, you make me uncomfortable), vivziepop likers, IF YOU’RE GONNA CALL ME OBSESSED WITH ANYTHING I LIKE. YOU SPECIFICALLY CAN DIE!!

FUN FACTS / BYI ᡣ𐭩

⛦ I struggle with coherency as a whole so I will probably be confusing to talk to some days. Be patient

⛦ I have really bad memory loss, it’s nothing personal if I forget who you are

⛦ In my culture, a certain kind of bird that can turn its head 360° is bad luck. Do not send me this bird or talk about it near me. Don’t even mention it’s name, it’s bad luck and will send me into a panic attack

⛦ I’m a people pleaser, I’m also very emotional ^__^

⛦ I LIKE MEN!!! I AM GAY!!! I AM A GAY MAN!!!

⛦ tone tags are needed for me. I also DO NOT like random ass people being mean to me as a joke. If we JUST met through a mutual friend, YOU ARE NOT COOL TO CALL ME SLURS AND BE A DICK!!!

MY FAVORITE PEOPLE ᡣ𐭩

@stealingyourteeth ᡣ𐭩 ⛦ @spirals-and-stars-s ⛦ @imdeadandimeatingyourbrains

[dumbpuppycatgirl]

how do I tell if I’m trans

(sorry your my only transfem moot (I think))

Short answer:

I know because being a girl(-adjacent being) makes me happy. Moving towards happiness helped me (even though i sabotage myself at every step every day)

See also:

https://amitrans.org/

https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/

https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

My full story under the cut:

My story starts in 2020, like so many modern trans stories do, when i was stuck online and found a new community where someone came out as trans. I asked her a lot of questions and she told me to experiment.

So i experimented, i bought skirts and other clothing online; bought like an anime school girl outfit because idk cute?

I started pretending to be a girl on reddit and discord when i joined a large overwatch server under a mew account, trying out several names.

On reddit i also started looking into trans memes and started reading experiences of trans people.

Within a few months i had made a first decision for myswlf really sternly: i do not want to be a guy.

I started talking about it with my therapist and she was very helpful and supportive.

The community i joined at the start of this story i found more friends and more queer friends and we were joking around having fun.

A real life friend bought some make up for me when i talked with her about me questioning, which was very nice but even 3 years later i have barely actually used any of it. I am terrified of make up, and hate seeing my face. Always hated seeing my face.

In my reading and relating to trans stories i stumbled upon the three websites linked above. The genderdysphoria bibke eslecially was extremely helpful.

After making that first decision around december 2020 and getting help from resl life people around early 2021 it still took forever to answer "if not a man, then what?" Im not sure i have the answer now. What i have figured out now that i have tried make up, wear more femme clothing, go by a fem name and changed my legsl gender is that im generally much happier being a woman.

Im not sure im a woman, or at least maybe not always, but "woman" is much much closer to what i 'am' than "man", if that makes sense.

During the second half of my questioning phase, when i read the dysphoria bible, i started realising that mayyyybe there were hints during my childhood... wanting to play a girl character during the one singular open theatre day i attended when i was like 11 or so might have been a clue.

I realised that my obsession with TF-TG comics was not a cis thing lmao. I realised that men generally dont feel "cursed" to have the body they have.

I did make some changes to my body over time, though, as i started living on my own also in 2020 to be a student i had much more freedom to do things secretly. Bought jewelry to wear inside only, and dyed my hair, which was amazing.

During the summer of 2021, my cousin got married, and i had to wear a suit, of course, which felt painful. Cementing my not wanting to be a man feeling. Dead eye smile all the way.

Later that year i had some talks with my brother about feeling so extremely limited in my choices for clothing and expression and what not and that being a man felt like a prison. He was very nice about it and said that clothing is not gendered if youre not a coward. I liked that a lot.

Soon after i came out as trans fem to my close online friends (none of who were surprised). Meer my now boyfriend that winter and everything was great.... except no one irl knew.

Still took me 3 months to come out to my neighbours (student living so i spent a lot of time with them) and my family. Both coming out messages were sent over WhatsApp at like 2 am and turned off my phone and locked the door. Coming out is hard.

Since then, now 2.5 years later, it had not been all roses and sunshine. But it has been better. I started to feel like i was a person, i started being able to think about a future, beyond extremely surface level, "guess, I'll get a job somewhere and get s house idk". My dad remarked that i stood much more upright when wearing my dress than when boymoding.

My parents luckily took it extremely well, they kinda also had to, as since my coming out my 2 brothers have also been fruity lmao. Within 6 months my family went from "good christian family with 3 sons" to having a trans girl, a gay and a femboy. Im still convinced my mom is an egg. I like my queer family.

Anyway, moral of the story is this: experiment and do what makes you happy. I still dont know how to label myself completely but that is also not too important. Im much happier with myself now than before.

[crimeronan]

had my original fiction opening critiqued at irl group tonight! under a cut because this is long and it'll be painfully boring for people who have not been following my Anxiety Saga (and who do not care about the OCs), but tl;dr: very positive :3 we went a half hour over our usual time just discussing the story.

the prose, imagery, and exposition were all highly praised, ppl said the style is easy to read & a few even said it scans as fully publishable right now

didn't have a chance to get into the whole magic-as-autoimmunity meta or a Million Other Things because this story is a BEHEMOTH. but if i write more then i can get into it at other sessions :3

UNANIMOUS praise for the depiction of magic as painful/costly, one guy says he usually hates fantasy magic bc the stakes feel too low. but these didn't

characters were much more polarizing. everyone had a slightly different interpretation of and different emotions about the various narrators

also nearly every time someone said "this character thing didn't work for me" or "i hated this character detail," someone else would pipe up like "actually that was great for me personally. you should keep it" which made me laugh. THRILLED to accomplish this

pretty strong majority opinion that sol is an insane sociopath, i got some 'i'd like to see more depth in her' feedback until one woman said "my problem with her is that she's supposed to be super powerful but then her narration is exactly as neurotic and hypervigilant as your reader proxy's" while i was Vibrating With Excitement like YOU HAVE IDENTIFIED THE THING I DID ON PURPOSE YOU DID IT YOU GOT THE UNRELIABLE NARRATION IM YELLINGGGG

pretty unanimous empathy with and concern for the reader proxy narrator who's in a Very Bad Situation. some devastation upon finding out i don't plan for her to narrate the entire novel. about half the group was like "but... but everyone else is. everyone else is an evil sociopath :( i like the girl :(" sorry guy.s. i promise i'll make you want to read about them before i rip ur girl away

i cut some explicit/graphic threats of sexual and physical violence because i thought they went too far, despite this being psychological horror. three ppl gave me the feedback "i need to see some kind of explicit threat to really know the stakes here" i'm never questioning my dark edgy shit again. every character is fucked forever. amen

ONE READER DID CLOCK DEVIN AS TRANS and it was the Same One who clocked sol perfectly. she was like the mention of scruff jarred me so much that i googled the dictionary definition of scruff. what's the deal there & i was like oh. transgenda. & she was like I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT

everyone else: wow i did not notice that at all. and/or i assumed the scruff was leaves or twigs not stubble

OH AND!! i got a note that my character dialogue is all extremely distinctive. which was Such A Relief because i Know my fanfic dialogue is distinctive but i wasn't sure if i was replicating that with the OCs. it's hard to figure out how people talk & make it different from how other people talk when you yourself are only one person with one speech pattern.

very good positive experience. the problem now is that if i want to talk about other aspects of the story like...... literally everything, literally everything about everything to do with the story..... i gotta. i gotta write it. oh god.

[detectivenyx]

2023 In Review

for me, 2023 just kind of... came and went. very quickly. i kind of wish it didn't.

there's been some horrific mental-health stuff, not aided by what's going on, both in my little corner of the world and across the world in general. i'll start with the negatives, so we can end on a positive note - that seems like a good outlook for the year.

there's obviously the horrendous situation with the writers and actors strike, where garbage studios think paying people for their hard-made art is very much an optional thing rather than fucking mandatory. yet in this year, warner bros, the company who's the most mask-off with their transphobia (still releasing HP stuff and hiring a TERF and sandy hook truther to voice one of the most well-known female characters in mortal kombat), releases a 2 hour toy commercial and gets heralded a Feminist Masterpiece for the same messages that Mean Girls and Legally Blonde had shovelled out two decades earlier. there's also just the countless fucking genocides. i'm hoping and praying that the victims of those genocides are not wiped out, even if i've acknowledged i cannot help directly.

but in addition, i think this year just sealed the deal for me about the cosplay community. i'm still routinely dragged to cosplay events - it's either that or be socially isolated for two whole months as it's all that gets talked about - and the local 'in-crowd' community is as garbage as ever. someone a close friend wanted to hitch a ride back towards the city with just. randomly started spouting anti-trans sports propaganda to us? she started complaining about trans women 'having a biological advantage' by being taller or whatever. the absolute second that this person was away from a transmasc friend and with two people she didn't fully know, she just assumed we were both cis and went full mask-off with transphobia, and that indicates to me that things have gotten worse since i left. i want to return to cosplay badly, but the fucking community just keeps letting shit like that slide, going to a con run by a neonazi and excusing it with 'it lets me see my friends!' like they've never learned how to plan an outing more than two weeks in advance before. ultimately it makes cosplaying barely worth it; it's an expensive hobby that now only for my own validation. there's no leftist cosplayers in queensland - only people cosplaying as leftists.

it also doesn't help that, off-topic, i am pretty sure i know my dad's care for me is hollow now; something happened in september to prove it to me. there's also the fact that this year introduced me to now having chronic back pain thanks to his neglect, and i don't think i'll ever get any sort of apology from him. and while probably the least-bad thing in the list, one of the more charismatic members of a channel i'd just got introduced to had sexually harassed a semi-guest of the channel.

that said: in newer spaces, and in general, i think things are looking up. the aforementioned channel kicked the sexual harasser, and re-structured so that it was unlikely to ever happen again. i joined up with a new group of people to play Blood on the Clock Tower in-person every month and online a few times a week - and quite frankly i would trust those people with my life. i think just having something to do that isn't a popularity contest has been healing. i'm not super close to the people there yet (or maybe im misjudging it? i don't know how healthy relationships irl work if i'm honest). sewing has been fun, as has finding out an interest in vintage patterns - i'm hoping in 2024 to actually make some of them. finding resources for free patterns (via mood.com - a really good resource, i've found) and having fun with the creation has also been fun, though my fabric stash is getting pretty full now thanks to my many trips to a second-hand fabric store. the last con of the year also wasn't all bad; really only cementing my decision to remove myself at the very end of the con day. i wouldn't have considered coming back at all if the con hadn't been a fun time; even getting to meet someone who was a fan of my youtube channel. a recent bout of hostility for a two-year-old video because someone decided to grift off it had given me doubts about my channel; bad or not, those videos are still fully mine, more than, say, somerton- sorry, i mean someone can say. but i think just being able to see someone, physically, who liked my videos, made it a lot better. (and i purchased a pronoun pin from them and the pin is super duper cute and they gave me a really cute sticker oh my god--)

so, rather than setting resolutions, i tend to set themes for years after seeing this video by SCP Grey that offers it as an alternative. this year was the Year of Education - a year where i did my best to focus on my learning and educational pursuits. at the start of the year i set myself three semi-goals that could change; to do my Master's in Arts, to keep learning Japanese, and to learn corsetmaking techniques.

i wound up re-joining my university in the middle of the year to do my Honours in Creative Industries, focusing on adapting social deduction games and their game theories into the design of a narrative. i'm a little behind on the narrative itself, but the articles i've read and the definitely-research-and-not-a-thinly-veiled-excuse-to-play-games have both been fascinating for me, both in how much theory is kind of just ableist bonkers nonsense and what thin bits of truth are actually present (in all people, deception requires more cognitive thought; there's usually either scriptedness or a very slight delay when someone's trying to deceive - which proved useful when i finally watched roblox_oof.mp3 and noticed both in mister tallarico's behaviour).

my education with japanese fell by the wayside - i got burned out trying to keep up my streak with moving house yet again, and just kind of did the bare minimum to keep up the streak and stay in the diamond league. i think some of my basics have gotten a bit stronger, but that's all.

with that said, i learned a lot more about making clothes over the course of the year! admittedly, i still struggle with making a skirt fit correctly (it is either severely too big for me even with elastic in the back, or just small enough to be uncomfortable in day-to-day wear) but i think i've created a bodice block that fits close enough. i've also kind of fallen in love with a second hand place sort-of near my house that sells a lot of vintage and second-hand fabrics for cheap, which is really useful as a seamstress living on unemployment who'd like to make All Of The Things. i did also make a corset this year, but aside from the busk, it used some really shoddy materials - i accidentally made the lining layer out of broadcloth rather than twill or herringbone and the outer layer was a polyester brocade and a polyester waist tape, meaning the entire thing was just. the itchiest fucking thing in the universe. (and i was wearing an underlayer, it didn't do much to help). i have materials to remake it, i've just been unsure how to go about it.

so that's been my year (alongside obscene amounts of baldur's gate 3). onto 2024 and the goals there!

[artinvain]

hii! i was wondering what you believe being a lesbian means? i’ve heard a lot of people say women loving women, afab loving afab, nonmen loving nonmen, etc. i only realized that i was a lesbian recently and im trying to understand more about the community beyond typical femme and masc standards.

congratulations on your beautiful realisation. coming out as a lesbian saved my life!! I hope you’re doing fab💖

whew this is a rough one just because there’s so much to be said. I know I don’t speak for the entirety of the lesbian community but from what I’ve seen irl, in my university studies and on the internet this is what I personally believe. and I think this may help as I this is how I went on my journey and have seen this for many other lesbians :)) 🥰🥰

so I’ve always known I was a lesbian. from like 5-10 when we first interact with romantic interests (I know it started young for me - long story), I was wanted to be around girls, hold them, touch them, when I saw women on tv I wanted to kiss them - be the guy they kissed (this is all known retrospectively).

when my mom started to ask me about who I would marry one day (of course she inserted a man bc I grew up in a religious house hold), I told her I wanted a man who was as handsome as an actor, as rich as bill gates (I had no concept of money ok) and spent time travelling (so we wouldn’t have to be together).

when she asked me if I wouldn’t be lonely I told her “of course not” because I would be with my best friends (all women) 24/7.

I then went on to push this narrative, told boys I couldn’t date them because I was Sabin myself for jesus and my unattainable husband. I touched my best friends “too much”, I knew I wanted to kiss them but kept praying the feeling would go away.

when I got to university I moved in with my older gay sibling (thank god) who has many queer friends, pan women, trans men, bi men! they were all soft and gentle and welcoming. I realised there was nothing scary or unholy about such a loving community.

so when the romantic feelings for women started to seep though again. I didn’t stop it. and then it was overwhelming and I realised I never wanted to be around or with men anyway, I had always been hiding this love inside me.

so I started getting into queer basics by dating and what I learnt in my gender studies courses.

for me lesbians understand me inherently without having to say a word (black lesbians specifically) but this goes for general sapphics as well (sometimes).

Because lesbians are socialised as women and or black and poc people, we don’t have to rediscover the systematic dynamics of oppression and patriarchy in our relationship because we both have grappled with that and it’s so easy to speak about and we understand that those ideas don’t pertain to us. we share the same special love for each other, something deeper than what can be explained with words.

“I know you,” is how it feels. the energy, time and love to learn and keep learning about your partner. growing in the same parallel lanes. I know her body, the lesbian body because it is also mine in a way.

so yeah as you can tell I love a good les4les and I looove a good deeply sapphic woman!!!

Lesbians have carved out our own slice of identity by creating a culture and partaking in a gender and sexuality that has been made outside of the patriarchy and the male gaze.

I do know a lot of trans masculine people identify with the lesbian community because some of these lesbians who are more butch and masc leaning sometimes decide to take t, have top surgery for example.

I know a lot of the transmasc people in my life who used to be lesbian are in a transitional space out of the community and into one that better suits them and where they are understood by other queer transmen. but they’ll never completely have no connection to the lesbian community, because that’s where they were socialised for most of their lives, it’s the community they’ll helped build. So they’ll always be a loving ally. A part of the family.

however many lesbians do not like to be with people who identify as men especially if they socially transition because it can cause a shift in dynamics, when one partner is now benefitting from the patriarchy on the basis of passing for example. Others believe it is disrespectful to date transmen and call themselves lesbians because for them lesbian is a specifically feminine aligned word and that feels invalidating to the trans man’s identity (and many trans men feel the same).

So yeah — there are too many nuances to count. But if you want to make it easy for yourself!? Think about what you want, what you are attracted to and what you like. really hone in on that and be comfortable with yourself in your lesbian identity, read some books on it, hell read some lesbian smut to get comfortable in the pleasure that is lesbianism. It’s about what you like and go about it kindly xx (and be smart and safe please)

Also often people will say that trans women can’t be lesbians but if you know that gender expression and sexuality are different things then you know that isn’t true :))

Ummm yeah that’s what I think at least 👁️👄👁️

[jayfeathersstick]

This post will mostly be to my irl friends but even if you have no clue who i am you can keep reading😀👌

Warning: the rest of this will contain topics such as, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, xenophobia etc.

Also please excuse my grammar and writing style. Im just writing down my thoughts.

I don't really know how to start this. I have been thinking about writing this for a long time. But today i finally decided to do it.

I live with my parents and (half) sister who's in college.

The problem is my dad.

No, he's not abusive, at least i don't think of him as abusive. That may sound strange but i genuinely don't know if he is and im just so immune to it that i don't think of it as abuse or if im just overreacting .

The real problem is his memtality.

He was born in the very late 60's so yes he is in fact old.

He has this mentality that he is right and EVERYBODY else is wrong. Everyone in my house has acknowledged this. Except him obviously.

Unfortunately (as some of you may have already realised based on the warnings) he is in fact xenophobic.

He is very very transphobic. For example:

"don't you think it wierd that people are out there pretending to be the other gender?"

"its either she or he, there is no they"

"this kind of 'stuff' wasn't around when i was your age"

Yes these are all direct quotes from him.

There are many many more that i cant think of right now but if i do remember any more i will add them.

Also, i know this is an age old argument but, ehat do you have against trans people? They arent bothering you? If anything YOU are the ones bothering them.

Anyways.

That's only his transphobic side.

We've barley touched his homophobic side.

Now, i will say the is very slightly more accepting of, this commumity than trans people.

Slightly.

By slightly i mean he dosent sit me down after seeing thr word "nonbianary" on the back of one of thr books my friend lent me and tell me all about these "odd people" that are-LIVING THEIR LIVES WITHOUT YOU BOTHERING THEM.

Exuse me.

A little cough came out there.

Also yes "odd people" is another direct quote.

Continuing on.

Sexism.

This one is very very vague because he's only given me a sexist vibe a few times but it still bothers me.

StOrY tImE

I was telling my dad about some of thr fights at my school and his legit resposlnse whaen i told him a teacher had gotten involved was "sometimes boys need to fight and i know your school will never agree with me but its true"

As you can see, very much a self believe that he is the only right person to ever exist on earth.

Another example:

I was telling him about some of my friends breaking up (platonically) and moving lunch tables because they weren't talking to each other anymorw.

" you see that happen a lot, girls fighting, but you just get used to it"

Like ?

He grew up with two other brothers, no sisters. How many women did you watch fight?

Also kinda off topic but he seems oddly against Chinese people💀

Idk what he has against them but he just...doesn't like them?

Anyways thank you for comin to my ted talk about all my dads problems.

I will update this if i ever feel the need to.

Originally posted on Mar 7 2024.

[watercolor-rainclouds]

long ass post about the original designs of my ocs (these are only the ones i've redesigned later, also not 100% accurate to the original designs because picrews have their limits but i was too lazy to draw them lol)

valerian (rian) started as john. still a vampire but with a whole different skin tone and everything. he used to look so boring omg. also at one point i almost cut him out of the whole story but instead i ended up changing him so much im not sure if it even counts as a redesign anymore lol.

mirabel was always named mirabel years before encanto came out and at the time i didnt know it was an actual name lol, originally as a nickname of miranda isabel but now it's just her actual name. also she was always a fairy, but once again her whole appearance changed (except her style). also her "theme color" went from pink to yellow, only because i wanted the six most important characters to make up a rainbow lol.

olga started as jane. she remained pretty similar except i got rid of the bangs and gave her shorter hair. i think i also made her taller but its hard to tell because my ocs used to not have set heights/height differences because i never drew them. once again, her power (shapeshifting) stayed the same, just like everyone else's.

i've mentioned this a lot i think, but ari started off as a boy (thats the backstory of why i made her trans). her appearance didnt change too much more than what transitioning would change about her. i gave her glasses back when she was still going to be a guy, but originally i dont think she had them.

and finally, lynn. her appearance didnt change a whole lot actually, but her role did. shes still an important character but she was originally going to be the protagonist. (also, i mostly draw her grey/posessed version but she has light brown hair normally). her name spelling kept changing between Lyn and Lynn, but i settled on Lynn. at some point i also gave her vitiligo but it's not visible on her grey version because all color is basically sucked out of her. when shes her regular self, she does have it though (unless i forget to add it while coloring her because its really hard to remember what details i kept vs what i didnt, but she is supposed to have vitiligo, so feel free to beat me with a stick if i draw her non-posessed version without it).

the last one of the old main cast would be edward but all i changed was give him glasses, and i made him way less important to the story. he got replaced by ellie as a major character because ellie had a lot more personality at the time. also, lynn got replaced by kiara who didn't even exsist originally. i drew kiara during a class one time and i liked her design so much i wanted to add her to this story, and lynn felt boring so she got replaced by her.

all of these ocs were originally inspired by the appearance of people i saw irl (as most of my ocs are), but the redesigns thankfully made them a bit more unique.

also its kinda funny because one could say my current oc lineup is "forced representation" (which is stupid, yes, but one could say this shit) but actually it was completely accidental. like i individually redesigned all of them, i didnt even have the other characters or the goal of representation in mind lol. like i made mirabel fat at one point "because why not", and then happened to get inspired from a black girl's tiktok so i made her black as well. like i just kept adding things to each of them until it felt right, and i accidentally ended up with a diverse and fun to draw cast of characters. and like i was already planning to make ari and olga a couple, so when i changed ari to be a girl i just decided to make olga a lesbian (ari was already bisexual before i even made her trans, so i didnt need to change anything about her). and then it was like "what if ellie has a gf? and what if its kiara?" (ellie has also always been bi) idk how it took me so long to realise im bisexual when i kept making my favorite ocs bi lol

so yeah. thats it for the embarrassing original designs of my main ocs. they look much cooler now because i got better at drawing people but i think its interesting/fun to look back to where i started

[platonicmoonwater00]

hey guys im cis and i havent actually met a trans person before(well i have online but not irl) but i think my friend(who also happens to be my crush) might be nb so i kinda have a question. like i think they might be bc they definitely are androgynous and not just in looks and idk theres a few other tells i cant remember all of them off the top of my head. this one could js be that they dont like dresses but along with the next thing i'll tell you it kinda makes sense.

so basically our school has a summer and winter school uniform and for term 2 and 3 you wear winter and for 1 and 4 you wear summer. its currently term 3 but its been like 30 degrees and theyve still been wearing winter(the only option for summer uniform is a dress but for winter you can choose skirt and stockings or pants and they were the pants). so im thinking that maybe it makes them feel dysphoric?

the things that make me think that they definitely are is that today they weren't at school and the people in my group were either not there or went to the tech rooms at lunch so i ended up sitting with their group cos i kinda half know some of their friends but their group is so friendly so it wasnt awkward.

and we mentioned my crush cos how dare they not be at school(theyre in my class btw) and one of their friends was like "they-she" yknow and kinda corrected herself rlly quickly. and also me and one of their other friends were texting them on her laptop and the contact name for them on her laptop was different than the name i know them by and i think the girl noticed cos she said "dont ask why her name is [the unisex name spelt in an unconventional way] is that, there's too much lore" or smthing along the lines of that.

so i was like "oh, why isnt there an e there" cos i was curious and shes like "thats what im saying" which makes it sound like it isnt a reference or an inside joke and its like something they picked.

and i dont mean to like speculate but ive been suspecting this for a while and idk im just wondering if there's anything i can do to make them more comfortable? i feel bad misgendering them if they are but they havent come out to me(as nb or anything like that, that is, ik they like girls) so i definitely wont say anything. but idk ive htought of a few subtle things that could maybe make them feel more comfortable if they are but not be weird if they arent:

i'll stop using the name i know them by(i dont say peoples names when talking to them much anyways so it wouldnt be so noticeable just instead of "hy [name]" it'd be "hi") also i could cut out words like "girly" and that sort of thing when talking to them. idk if that would help but idk what else i could do. does anyone have advice?

i just want to make sure they feel comfortable and safe around me, we're rlly good friends so i'd hate to unknowingly make them uncomfortable or dysphoric

[sallysetoncore]

okay so. saw les miserables tonight for the first time in five fucking years (which. okay so i'm 22. and in the last fifteen years. i have seen les miserables 8 times. so the fact that there was a five year gap in that is crazy) and like. in 2020 i got like. more into it than i ever have before. like it's been my favorite musical since i was seven but . in 2020 i read the book and i got like. genuinely a little unwell about it.

and that insanity kind of . ended in 2021/22 for a handful of reasons but also basically immediately became insanity about supernatural. which then has kind of died down at the end of 2023.

so. 2024. what's good? um. well. i basically moved and got a new job that became 99% of my life and. i don't know how to put this with any nuance but basically for the last six months i have been dramatically less transgender than usual. to a point of questioning if i was right to come out as nonbinary in the first place because i have been feeling so much like . Diet Woman. or "girl with they/them pronouns". but part of that is like, getting she/hered exclusively despite telling everyone my pronouns are they/them, and being in a place that is not exactly good about trans people (floridaaaaa). in the last six months, i have met exactly . four. out trans people. and i'm only like mildly close to one of them? so i just. i haven't been having the same irl community and support system i got very used to having in 2022/23.

and . god there's no way to say this without sounding like. cringe. so please fucking bare with me. but my connection to les miserables and my connection to supernatural both are HUGELY tied to gender, for me. the characters are mostly men. the romances i care about are mostly between men. like i am really, really captivated by Les Amis, right, the fucking 8 or so dudes in les mis. i want like, a brotherhood like that. and whatever the fuck team free will has going on, right? and these works . are sometimes comfortable to me in that way. bc when i write fic or whatever like. i get to be that guy. i get to have that connection. but it's also like. really uncomfortable to me bc then i have to get off of tumblr and close google docs and go back to being like. a fucking pretty girl. which i AM sometimes. so like. fucking there's no solution.

and like, also, these are not two medias that are like. popular with your average person. like they know what they ARE but it's not like. i know like one person down here crazy about les mis and one person crazy about supernatural but. not necessarily in the same way (both cisgender women; bisexual, but like, not reading the subtext the same way i am which is fine!!! they don't have to!!! but you understand).

and so like i keep joking about how a supernatural rewatch or getting really into les mis again would like fix me but it's also making me worse bc it's fucking painful. like this is so dumb but im like, watching the guy playing grantaire tonight and thinking. yeah i will never fucking look like that or get to play this role professionally. i MIGHT be able to beg a really progressive community theatre who doesn't have enough guys to let me play him some day but like. the biggest fucking shift in anything queer in les mis is the fact that they changed the line "there goes a prince / there goes a jew / this one's a queer / but what can you do?" to "this one's a queer / guess i'll try it too" and then thenardier fucking DIPS this dude and snarls at him??? like okay. gay rights i guess but. if it took like thirty years for that to happen. it's gonna be forever until they cast trans people in the way that i want them to.

[rrelationshipadvice]

🩰 <- to find later. this is basically hs drama btw since we’re all about the same aged teenagers; warning for talk of abuse and ableism

how do i tell my friend (ill call her One) that the person everyone is friends with (ill call her Two) and also is her close friend is my ex-friend and was my bully? to explain, to tell her isn’t to point fingers or call out the person, it’s that i fear One will become a victim of Two and i don’t wish how Two treated me on anyone.

apologies for being semi-exhaustive here but Two pretty badly bullied me for just under ten years, as well as kinda physically abused me for four of those years (to the point i still have scars). im pretty sure it’s because i’m autistic and used to be unable to mask, since she’d regularly scream at me (like. voice going raw screaming) for being ‘slow/special/r slur-ed’ and constantly call me an ‘annoying fucking idiot’ (quote). the bullying also included telling people to exclude me, making fun of me in front of teachers or my parents, and calling my interests disgusting or embarrassing even when it was originally hers. again don’t want this to get too long but she would routinely torment me for showing typical autistic behavior by beating me up (ex: punching me in the stomach or trying to stomp on my stomach after shoving me to the ground, almost always slapped me very hard or would punch me in the breast) or screaming at me to basically correct me. she also groped and sexually harassed me a lot. plus she outed my other friend (who is autistic too) to the whole school and regularly fetishized the outed friend’s boyfriend trying to get them to break up. i blocked her everywhere and are now hostile to her irl in january of 2023 which im still relieved for doing despite my being a pushover LOL.

what sucks now is that Two is best friends with just about everyone in the entire school, esp. because we’re in the same extracurriculars which includes a large portion of the school. i normally try not to hold grudges but i’m an emotional and sort of indignant person so seeing literally everyone i know talk about how funny and sweet she is makes me feel violent. i want to tell someone how i have trust issues and get embarrassed being myself around people because of this girl but i feel like a) no one would believe me and 2) they’d probably gossip it off to someone and it would get exaggerated into like ‘she tried to kill the person posting this!!!!’ or some shit which i don’t want her to get painted as a bad person

i had this sentiment until i got closer with One. One is one of my closer friends and is diagnosed autistic, she’s a kind and considerate person who i feel like i can actually trust and don’t have to make myself mask around her. again like i mentioned im scared but also desperately wanting to tell someone Two treated me like trash. however One actively refuses to participate in people spreading rumors and shit talking because she’s been bullied before so that’s a big part of the trust. also with Two being autistic and One exclusively harassing and bullying only me and other autistic people in school, it’s scary thinking of Two doing anything to One.

my strife is that i just don’t know how to word ‘LOL you know your friend who’s buddies with everyone we know? she hated my autistic trans ass and hit me’ without it sounding like complaining or calling her out. One takes me seriously, hence the considerate comment, so i don’t think she’d just wave me off, but i’m not great with cohesion at times LOLL and like i mentioned earlier i don’t want who One considers her friend to be painted as a monster or smth!!!! thank you in advance for any help on this issue

.

[rookmeo]

hello rook! i need some advice from someone who uses neopronouns and hope to know your opinion

i have a moot who only understands very basic english and never communicates with the english side of any fandoms or in general, just their native language. recently, she's getting bombarded and targeted by someone (we dk if it's one person or a group of them) who keeps pestering her about neopronouns because my friend once posted about being extremely confused when she stumbled upon someone who uses kitty/kittyself especially when the translation to her native doesn't makes sense at all

im the only english speaking moot of hers but im not knowledgeable about neopronouns so she decided to make some research about it. an hour later, she told me that it's the most confusing thing she's ever heard, even worse than trans and intersex

in her native, there's only one pronoun used for everyone and its spelt and pronounced the same. she does know that there's she/her, he/him, they/them, and it in english, but she doesn't understand why someone would want to custom make their own pronouns when they could've just use they/them. she couldn't imagine using those irl

as mentioned before, idk anything about neopronouns, so idk what advice to give her

i don't think she's trying to be mean or anything, she's just genuinely confused on what is this new stuff she accidentally stumbled upon, but i don't think this justifies that person/group to target her for not understanding english and what's going on in a specific group of the lgbt community

as someone who uses neopronouns, what would u tell her? what are your thoughts on people who couldn't understand neopronouns, would u force them to use it regardless or break your friendship?

Haha sorry this took a while to answer anon! I got busy and stuff but ill try to answer this as best as i can 👍

To me when it comes to using neoponouns, a part of it is me seeing pronouns in general as a part of my gender presentation. I see myself as a girl and a boy at the same time yet use he/him or prefer to be referred to with masculine terms because its more comfortable to me. Its how i present my own gender.

This applies to my neopronouns as well. Gender itself is a performance to me which is why i use neopronouns along side with he/him. It's like a stage persona i guess? Not all people who use neos are the same of course.

I could see where your friend is coming from though, my native language, filipino, also has like a general pronoun to refer to others (siya) which is gender neutral.

I honestly don't mind if people don't use my neos on me if they find it difficult but if they don't use it simply because they find it ridiculous or weird then maybe i would be a little hurt. It's all about intent really. However if i would exclusivrly use neos then I'd honestly be a little miffed. I'd like for people to play along with my presentation and all. Sorry if this didnt make sense 😭 i just started rambling because guess what i just like talking abiut myself lol

[bloodstuddedpearl]

Were you short on time? this is a horrible answer, dude please do not formally partake in debate. You didnt reply to half the shit I said and the arguments you did reply to, your responses were incredibly half assed and opinionated, not an educated contextual response.

"as for your question, i might. at some point, maybe. i wrote this because i hate jkr's hypocrisy and lies. if you didnt know, she has sided with people like matt walsh (famously misogynistic if you didn't know). do you wanna know why? because shes transphobic before anything. she is supporting known misogynistic people because they are against trans people too."

hey!! please site a source. a retweet isnt considered active support. its just a single isolated opinion one thought worthy to reshare. show me multiple accounts of common ground and then raise a statement.

And who said I uncritically worship rowling as my lord and savior? I agree with her opinions on trans ideology and essays on radical feminism. Please get a grip.

"i do get that there are asshole men out there, but those men you've listed? known assholes. their audiences are straight cis white men. i get it, you wanna frame me as a bad person for not writing about bad people. i am writing about a bad person. i do think those are bad people. but jkr's hypocrisy and general assholery makes me angry."

this is what i was talking about. lousy half assed response that uncritically approaches any claim made by me.

To explain you again, I disagree with dylan mulvaney. but you will never catch me creative writing about mauling dylan or raiding his funeral with an explosive. its immoral and cryptic. Are you actually tone deaf or just passive agressive?

"and jesus christ. why do you not understand that telling people they are murderers could hurt them? i have a lot of anxiety and a few symptoms of depression, along with having a long-standing obsession with life and death. maybe one day i'll prove you right, and you'll know."

And jesus christ do you not understand that fantasizing about raiding a living womans funeral and destroying her memoirs with your loser friends is sociopathic mentality and should be professionally inspected? And proving me right wont take shit from me dude, itll only get you locked up and this batshit post will resurface and frame your reputation. If you want to live under the spotlight as a known convicted murderer then sure, do yo thing.

"im british and its saturday and we are the same age. dont tell me to get back to school without doing the same thing. and i will keep thinking about destroying the memoirs of people i hate, because i could do a lot worse."

LMFAO yeah bet u could do a lot worse. sure dude. please your 14 writing murderous cryptic "creative writing" abt a woman u dont like. then u think people are wrong for calling you a potential school shooter. you glorify yourself as a killer and then get mad when people call you one. pathetic. lock tf in girl

"a serial killer mindset would be me describing how i would kill her. does this look like that to you? yes, im overwhelmed because she is alive and spreading hate and being a hypocrite and it hurt. seeing my trans friends, online and irl be shunned and hurt by her words, it makes me angry. so i wrote about it'. so does everyone else; write about things that make them angry."

Killing someone is an intention, mindset is another thing. heres how you possess a serial killer mindset-

"Rather, the most consistent psychological feature among serial killers appears to be extreme antisocial behavior—they tend to lack empathy, appear incapable of remorse, show no regard for laws or social norms, and have a strong desire to revenge themselves against individuals or society at large by carrying out violent ..." - from google

you show apathy, incapability of remorse, and no regard for social decency.

"here, let me use the toilet analogy that you guys love." girl why are u talking about toilets?? do you think radfems are out here licking toilet seats?

"terfs do not want trans men/trans women to be able to use the gendered toilet they identify with. okay.

so passing trans men have to use the women's toilets. passing trans women have to use the men's. okay.

so, terfs start seeing passing trans men in their bathrooms. how do they feel about that?"

hmm.. we dont like it bc TW literally assault women in girls washrooms

"but this is what you wanted, wasnt it? why are you complaining?

its because terfs don't care about feminism. not really, deep down. im sorry if you still think that. like i said earlier, your feminist icon JK Rowling supports misogynists because they are transphobic. i cant spell this out any clearer: radical feminism is not about feminsm. its about transphobia."

terfs like jk rowling have donated more money and time to womens shelters/activism/feminism related funding than anyone u can name. tell me what dylan mulveney did for feminism

Lumos: J.K. Rowling founded the charity Lumos in 2005, which aims to help vulnerable children around the world, particularly those living in orphanages. Lumos works to reunite children with their families, promote community-based care, and end the institutionalization of children.

Volant Charitable Trust: J.K. Rowling also founded the Volant Charitable Trust, which supports a wide range of charitable causes, including multiple sclerosis research, alleviating social deprivation, and supporting women and children at risk.

Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Research: Rowling has donated significant amounts to multiple sclerosis research, a cause that is close to her heart as her mother passed away from complications related to the disease.

Casual Vacancy Trust: In 2012, J.K. Rowling set up the Casual Vacancy Trust to support charitable causes related to social deprivation and other issues.

Other Charitable Contributions: J.K. Rowling has made substantial donations to various charities over the years, including the Children's High-Level Group (now known as Lumos), Comic Relief, and other organizations focused on alleviating poverty and promoting education and literacy.

JK Rowling has donated £15.3 million to a medical research facility, which she helped to set up. The facility is named after the Harry Potter author’s mother, who died at the age 45 from complications related to a condition called multiple sclerosis (MS). JK Rowling wants the money to support more research into conditions such as MS, motor neurone disease, Parkinson’s and dementia. It isn't her first charitable contribution though. She also founded a charity called Lumos after making it her mission to take children out of poorly-run orphanages by by 2050. Harry Potter fans will notice that the charity is named after the spell used by witches and wizards to bring light to dark places. In fact, in 2012, JK Rowling dropped off the Forbes billionaires list - a famous list of very rich people - partly due to the amount of her money which she donated to charities.

name 5 people who went from billionaire to millionaire because of the money they donated to charity

JK Rowling’s funeral will be beautiful.

The cameras, the faceless attendees, the press swarming outside the gates. The touching notes left by her followers, thanking her for building their childhoods. The radfems mourning the loss of their god.

The grey-faced family and friends, escorted out of the gates by countless bodyguards, hounded by journalists and flashing light that illuminates all of the little details in their hand-woven black clothes.

Every stitch, every seam, there on display. Every tear, every bloodshot eye for the world to see.

But then They come. After the last stragglers of the funeral have left, whether it be hours or days, We will arrive.

Black combat boots and worn Converse, crop tops and baggy jumpers, ripped jeans and tartan skirts.

We will find our way in, jumping fences and picking locks, weaving through the neglected stones of others until we reach the corner that she bought for herself.

Her gravestone is inscribed and decorated, at least twice as big as the others in the graveyard.

We read it aloud.

“Mr. and Mrs.Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. Thank you Joanne, for making our childhoods.”

We laugh. The angel over the grave, hands clasped in prayer, neck and wings strung with scarves of red, yellow, green, blue seems to smile with us.

We take the books first. Most of them are signed copies. They will make our kindling. The scarves and cloaks are too polyester-stuffed and mass produced for that.

We burn the books, dancing and laughing in the dying light, mocking her denial of the burnings back in the 40s.

The pictures are next. Portraits of her, posing elegantly, smiling gracefully. The kind face that hides bigotry and disgust at fellow human beings.

We burn them. Their ashes fuel our crazed laughter.

We celebrate our childhoods. We celebrate the world, the magical, fantasy world she crafted for us. We do not celebrate her. We celebrate her soon to be deleted Twitter account, after one last mournful post about how incredible she was.

We shall mock it, tomorrow. But tonight we celebrate.

[maletofujoshi]

I feel like a shojo protagonist

[oysters-aint-for-me]

THIS IS PROBABLY STUPID since ppl so rarely refer to me in the third person on this website. but. for at least little while i want to go by they/them pronouns. but i’m afraid of asking ppl i know irl (even though i’m p sure they know i’m nonbinary) so i’m testing it out here? i feel so stupid abt this lmao just bc this is like. equivalent to just straight up not testing it out. since again, ppl don’t tend to talk about me here, just to me or with me, soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i feel like i wanna be a bit more certain that i want this before asking irl people to do it, since im not totally sure i do want to use they/them going forward…which also is making me question whether or not i actually AM nonbinary…does anyone else ever feel like you’re only being a Weird Gender for the attention??? i feel like that all the time. about everything, not just gender, but gender is one of the more…hmmm…central aspects of identity, in some ways? now to be clear i don’t necessarily believe that is true, or at least it doesn’t HAVE to be, but that’s what society at large seems to be pushing right now, so ppl (on all parts of the political spectrum!…but, it must be said, mostly cis ppl) assume gender identity is important to everyone. but it’s not that important to me, it’s never felt important, ive never felt quite comfortable being part of either category, i don’t feel resentful that most ppl assume i’m a woman when they meet me, i’m not resentful i was raised as a woman, i don’t really care if ppl use she/her to refer to me, sometimes i even call myself i woman or a girl in conversation! not in any serious way, it’s usually like “aaah what’s a girl to do!” or you know little comments here and there, mostly based on pre-existing phrases, but i feel bad whenever i do it, and i cannot figure out if it’s because i am NOT actually a ciswoman and therefore it feels like i am misgendering myself, OR because i AM actually a ciswoman but some grotesque part of my brain is like “ugh but that’s so BORING, no one will ever love you if you’re that BORING��� and then another part of my brain is like “well if you’re nonbinary just because the alternative is boring and won’t get you attention, then you probably aren’t REALLY nonbinary” and i went to middle/high school before it was really even okay to be a GAY kid let alone a TRANS one!!! and NONBINARY? wtf we didn’t HAVE that word in my schools gay straight alliance (which btw was all “straight” kids who have all since come out lol that’s what 2003 was like guys) so this is just…. all kind of new to me

ANYWAY all this is to say that i changed my stupid pronouns in my stupid bio to they/them and i feel stupid about it but (gripping edge of bathroom sink, looking at self in mirror, clenching teeth) HERE WE GO LETS DO THIS