#like gay pirates are cool and all but OH MY GOD

[lightboundpunkz]

there’s gonna be a season two of our flag means death?? oh fuck tumblrs gonna be unbearable again isn’t it

[louiesselfshipramblings]

Straw Hat Headcanons! (And selfship eligibility cause like this is a selfship blog still)

Monkey D. Luffy: Nothing really major. Just darker skin to reflect his Fantasy Brazil heritage, and frizzier hair. I don't wanna say just what Iñaki Godoy looks like, but...yeh, what Iñaki Godoy looks like. Self ship eligibility...no shade to peeps who do, love ya, but I see my boy Luffy as AroAce king. Man was immune to a fruit literally EVERY man was vulnerable to, and he didn't even realize it! On the scale, 0/10 [for me personally].

Roronoa Zoro: Yeh similar to Luffy. Prob darker skin, but him being Japanese, I get a paler complexion. Also he is def a closeted gay man for Sanji. Gonna be so cool when they find the One Piece and the two make out. Very progressive and cool. Tho he's not my type; too emotionally unavailable, and passes it off as being "cool". Fuck you, Zoro! But I still love your goofy ass. Be silly again! 1/10

Nami: NAMI!!!! She should be FAT!! She should be BIG!!! She should be able to eat everything she wants now because she's a free pirate, goddammit!!! And she should still be seen as beautiful cause she's a Straw Hat!!! LET HER KILL PEOPLE WITH HER CLIMATE BATON, YOU LET HER DO THAT IN PUNK HAZARD AND NEVER AGAIN ODA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!! (Can you see who I made this list for. Shush, it's a secret.) I was late on the Nami train tbh, but when I hoped on I hoped HARD. Nami is so wife...I wanna make her happy...I get it, Sanji...now move it and let me date her! You can have Zoro! Oh, and I could personally see her as pan. 11/10

Usopp: Please. Come on. You know what I'm gonna say. Usopp, my boy...he needs his melanin back even though he barely had it in the first place in both anime and manga but sshhhhhh. The boy's South African, and is explicitly played by the clearly black Jacob Romero Gibson. I suppose Oda is bad at coloring and all, but I see you Toei. I see you still keeping Blackbeard black while making Usopp paler. Racist ass studio...also, no donut lips. I'd still say he'd have thicker lips, but not exaggerated to that, and if it don't work with the style, don't have em, no biggie. And Oda CAN draw Usopp without them cause he DID when he drew Jacob AS Usopp in that promotional letter, SO WHY DON'T YOU DRAW USOPP MORE LIKE JACOB NOW, ODA!?!?!? Ahem...I feel Usopp could be a bi boy. Genderfluid, or maybe in a way to boost his ego. You understand. Personally, I feel I would have to be very lucky to get with GOD Usopp, but maybe, just maybe...6/10.

Sanji: Tbh, he got off most easy for the New World redesigns. Really only switched his bangs and grew some beard. Kinda ugly but in that charming way, ya know? No real changes, he can be the Straw Hats local white boy. Just...please tone down the pervness. I was joking with the Luffy-Iñaki stuff, but please, make Sanji like he is in the live action. I will say he's been on good behavior since Fish-Man Island, so...I'd say Sanji is bi, maybe gay, but I find it funny the hypotheticals that a bi Sanji would be useless cause he couldn't hit men or women. But anyway Sanji is the reason Zoro comes outta the closet and they kiss at the end. But for me...he's not my type, but less not my type than Zoro, so...2/10

Tony Tony Chopper: Oh, Chopper. Poor, poor little thing you. Salty was right; Enies Lobby was the last time you were allowed to be interesting. Tho, I agree, with all the New World upgrades, I suppose controllable Monster Point was the one thing he needed...I mean I feel accessing his other forms without the Rumble Ball is fine enough. Maybe like...semi controllable Monster Point? I dunno. I feel his New World design cutes him up too much...reduce the hat down a bit and keep the goofier face he had from Drum Island, aka the best damn arc in the manga, argue with the wall. Man, I really hope he gets some cool shit when his Human-Human Fruit awakens, RIGHT, Oda!?!? Oh and self shipping? Uh...that's a child. -1/10

Nico Robin: Robin...oh, I love you. Not as much as Nami as I've come to realize, as she's a bit more my type but gosh I love Robin. She's been gettin a lotta love recently, for obvious reasons if keepin up, which I like. Main things with her is bring her bangs back (which the manga is already doin for super emotional reasons), and like Usopp, give her darker skin! Doesn't have to be as dark as Usopp, but some darker complexion would be nice. "But it was a tan, she's Russian". A tan she had for TWENTY YEARS? And only lost over a TWO year time skip? There can be black Russians. Toei inadvertently cooked early on and they were cowards for reversing that. I make it secret I enjoy thicker women, but honestly I think Robin works better as a lanky beanpole. Not to the...proportions Oda draws but def lean and tall. Good contrast to her buff hubby Franky. For fits, I'd really liked to see her wear more mom-style fits, or back to Cowboy Robin. Cowboy Robin was peak, argue with the wall. I feel she could be pan, maybe demigirl? Feels right with her powers, oddly enough. And like yeah, she's my fave behind Nami for Straw Hat self ship. 9/10

Franky: Franky is already SUPER perfect as is, and even his New World style has grown on me. Buuuuuuut...ugh, the shoulder pads...too much. I get he's top heavy, but that's just a bridge too far. I like his forearms being bigger, those should be kept. And maybe less "meaty"/thick fingers; I like em big, but it's funny he has a second pair of small hands in em. Def some more mechanical detail over his bod. His default hair should also go back to the pomp. I like the gimmick he changes it each arc, but the standard buzzcut kinda sucks. Like actually. You gotta understand, I consider pre-time skip Franky perfect character design. Legit, Oda peaked with him. Franky, def bi, but I could see him being trans! Maybe a bit on the nose with the whole "rebuilt himself" background, but it could work! Robin too, tbh. They can be t4t. Not my preferred, but cute! As he is, Franky is def a hunk. I like em big, yeh, and would prefer him fat strong, but strong on its own is nice. 7/10

Brook: Oh, Brook. Poor, poor Brook. It would have been so much better had there been another full arc between Thriller Bark and Sabaody to really get you with the crew (whichyoucankindaachivebywatchingFilmStrongWorldinbetweenTBandSAbutanactualbreatherarcbeforethetimeskipwouldhavebeennice), but even then you are still the best Straw Hat. Again. The wall. Suppose it's made up for the fact he's with the gang for the whole arc even before officially joining, which hadn't been done since, like, Usopp on Syrup Village, damn. But yeh! Like Franky, I kinda consider Brook's pre-time skip design peak, and his New World fit...bad. I get what it's goin for, but it's too many ideas! I feel Oda realizes that cause a lot of Brook's fits have been just his old look (Dressrosa, Whole Cake, Onigashima), which is nice. Skeleton in a suit and top hat, it's a classic. I like the crown hat tho for the "Soul King" aesthetic, but maybe smaller. More top hat than crown. And maybe he can just have themed suits, ya know? And yeh...like Sanji, turn down the perv elements. Like, it was funny the first two times cause "Haha, a skeleton asked for WHAT!?" but it lost its luster after that. At the very least, he's been on good behavior; last he did it genuinely was Punk Hazard I think, but he also pulled it on Big Mom at the end of Whole Cake is a genuinely awesome way (makes sense in context). Also, I feel Brook should be black. I get he's a skeleton now, obvs, but I dunno. Feels right for the Soul King. I have a feeling he'd be asexual—not out of choice, but...ya know—and maybe some level of agender? He is a skeleton after all. Who knows what being like that does do your personal perception. As a partner...eh. I love him, but as a friend! I'd wanna be a string duet with him! I feel Brook should be with a very specific type of person, ya know? Not that he's not my type, just I'm not for him. 3/10

Jimbei: Honestly, I'm not as madly in love with Jimbei as everyone else is! Yeah, he's great. Great in Impel Down, Fish-Man Island, Whole Cake, Wano. He's great! But I'm not drooling over him like some peeps are. And hey, more power to ya! Not much I'd change about his design...maybe make him thicker? Like, fat fat! Around the arms and such! Make him look like a strongman; would contrast nice to Franky's more bodybuilder-inspired physique. Maybe show off him being a lil older too? Gray streaks in his hair, hair a lil frizzy? Idk, just rambling. Tbh, Jimbei is either gay or straight. Feels right for him. As for me...he'd be a decent catch. Get it. Cause. Fish? Heh...5/10.

And that's em all! Granted, I have a few other, bigger OP crushes. Not many more (Perona, Law, Lilith), and I could include some honorary Straw Hats like my daughter Vivi and the cool boy guy man Yamato and maybe Lilith again cause I have theories tee hee hee. But eh, wanted to cover the main crew, so if I do wanna cover the others, I'll do it in a reblog. Who knows.

[seattlesea]

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (part five)

Nine: God the smell in here is making me want to die John: Then go outside Five: Then die --- Maggie, writing a book: Can your breathing get cut off if there's a heavy weight on your chest? Adam: Yeah Maggie: Cool Adam: That's how they killed people in the old days, by stacking a bunch of rocks on their chest and suffocating them Maggie: Okay a 'Yes' would've been fine --- John: Finish your food Nine: I'm going to go home and take the fattest shit you've ever seen do not make me eat more --- Eight: I'm psychic, I can see into people's futures. I see in your near future that you're going to get sick Eight: *coughs in Nine's face* --- Adam: Did you eat? Maggie: Yeah. A strawberry Adam: That's it? Maggie: Two strawberries --- Six and John: *talking about spirit animals* Six: You'd be a swan John: Because I'm so graceful? Six: No cause you're white --- Sam: I was actually really good at orchestra in school, I was first chair on the cello Six: *puts her hand to her chest and gasps* Oh my god! Sam: What? Six, sarcastically: What a cool story! --- Six and Marina: *having a normal adult conversation* Eight: My black olive just rolled across my laptop --- Nine: Dirty mother... John: *giving him a dirty look with Ella next to him* Nine:...Of...Jesus --- One: Hey what're you gonna be for Halloween? Adam: I dunno yet what about you? One: I was thinking of being a witch Adam: Oh that's cool One: Yeah maybe you can be my broomstick so I can ride you all night Adam: WHAT- One: What, is that bad? Would you rather I be a pirate and you be a sword so I can stick you in me? Adam: *screaming* --- Ella: *touches a gross blanket* Ew Marina: What? Ella: It's giving me the ick Marina: The what? Ella: I'm acoustic --- Six: Bitch, I do NOT lift to be called a lipstick lesbian --- Five: *staring at a candle* Eight: What are you doing? Five: Trying to light myself on fire with my mind --- Nine, in public loud as hell: Yeah I'd fuck young Elvis Strangers passing by: *giving him grossed-out looks* Nine: What? You would too Nine, muttering: Prudes --- Sam: Look at my skeleton animal collection. I can a bat, I got a rat, and I got a cat Hannu, sadly: But no hats --- John: *celebrating his birthday and opening gifts* Five, silently crying: *places a couple wadded-up singles in front of John* That's all I got --- Six: You know it would've been easier if you just took the highway Marina: But...the trees... --- Adam: I'm gay John after taking Adam to a Fall Out Boy concert and watching him sit on the floor with three empty couches: Cool --- One and Six: *Talking about the ped@ at their job* Six: He's the reason there's an 18+ age limit --- Five: Despite popular belief, I will be going to Heaven because Satan will be jealous someone has a fatter ass than him --- Sam teaching the Lorics to make cereal: Okay first gather your things Lorics: :) Sam: Then, you put in your milk Daniela: Huh? Lorics: :) Sam: Next, you add your cereal Daniela: Hell no Lorics: :) Sam: Then drizzle in your honey Daniela: Bro WHAT Lorics: :) Sam: And finally, put it in the microwave Daniela: WHAT THE FUCK Lorics: :) Sam: And then you have cereal Lorics: Yay Daniela: I'm going to kill you --- Marina: So what is credit score? Sam: *ten minute explanation of credit score, payments, debt, and loans with examples* Marina:... Sarah: The loophole so the bank can't lend poor people money to stop being poor Marina: Ohhhh --- Nine: Damn, dude, I really don't know anything about you. I only know like your favorite color and animal, the music you listen to, your favorite movies, how you dress, your favorite coffee flavor, your personality, your deepest fear, your address, your entire backstory, all the people you like and hate, and your habit of needing to use a straw with every single drink or it doesn't 'taste right' John:... --- Eight: Damn I'm thirsty Adam: Then go drink water Eight: I can't, I'm fasting Adam:...Well I think you're supposed to drink water if you're running around all the time Eight:...

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 108

Whoa ... tough names. Well done, Matt. Oh ... a PowerPoint Presentation? Hmmmm ... actully this looks quite professional ... ah ... yes ... guess I spoke too soon ... yeah, Sam, I don't think you REALLY thought this one through ... okay, the tattoot thing was kinda cool ... Matt: "This is a PIRATE book, Sam. Could you try and do it as a pirate?" Sam: "I am, Matthew. Because capitalists are the modern pirates." Oh ... I see. Okay ... yeah ...

"We get wet." Um ... okay, Marisha?

What's this? A GAG REEL? O.O Oh, this is kinda fun ... XD Just wish it was bigger ...

Shit, yeah ... that last episode got TRIPPY at the end ... where's THAT gonna play out here?

Unconscious prisoners? Oh ... yeah, we forgot about that shit ... now what?

Laura rolls ASS right at the start ... Laura: "I have 4 hit points!" Taliesin: "Stop hitting yourself!" XD

Double-team? Braius, they're really not thinking about THAT kind of party right now ...

The guardians? CRAP!!! Not good, not good ...

Mass Cure Wounds? Thank you, Dorian ...

Hunter's Bane? Hmmmm ... IS something going on? Oh, wait ... oh, is that IRA? Yeah, that wouldn't surprise me ... yeah, I was NOT surprised by that AT ALL ...

A mental Deception Check? Against the NIGHTMARE KING?!!! Oh, this'll have to be HIGH ...

Kashador? Hmmm ...

Wait ... Chetney can BANE?!!! Nice ... O.O

Modify Memory? Okay, then ... oh yeah, that's right, fae are naturally resistant to this stuff ...

Yeah, so ... THAT hasn't gone all that well ...

Psychic Lance? REALLY?!!! O.O At SEVENTH FUCKING LEVEL ... oh man, this is gonna be NASTY ... oh my fucking GODS ... Travis: "On this fucking guard?!" Laura: "Well that's all I have!" 34 points of Psychic damage? Oof ... shit ... oh no is he DEAD?!!! I am NOT surprised that happened the way this was going ...

It didn't work ... no shit ... this is about to go VERY BAD ...

Nice takedown, Fearne ... now here comes Ashton to potentially MASSIVELY overdo subduing him ... 44 points of damage on the FIRST attack? Fucking hell ... oh, so now he's RESIGNED to killing him ... okay, then, just PUREE this poor bastard ... 24 points this time ... so ... is he just knocked cold, or is he, like, PROPER DEAD?

Well that's it, then ... Dorian's just putting the Emissary under a sleeper hold then ... meanwhile Orym delivers the ultimate knockout hit with the Sending Stone? OOF ...

What, take everything back to Nana Mori's? You sure about that?

Gloamglut? Hmmmm ... is that old dragon lurking or just GONE? Which is more of a problem right now?

Imogen Messages Nana ... is it 11 or 12? Hmmmm ...

An hour? That sounds ... complicated ... a lot can happen in an hour ... but at least they got time for a Short Rest while they're at it ...

Orym Flea-jumps to the roof to keep an eye on the surrounds ... yeah ... still no sign of the dragon ...

Crap ... and Zathuda is now coming to ... great ... oh yeah, 25 EASILY knocks him out again. Nicely done, Braius ...

Spirit of Death? Interesting ... oh gods ... Laudna summons Bor'dor ... O.O ... she has him HAUNT Zathuda in the capacity of a BABYSITTER ... wow ...

Ashton (to Laudna): "You finally managed to creep me out."

Braius' convoluted plan to fool the Emissary ... yeah ... bizarrely, that might actually WORK ...

Dorian makes the already concoluted plan even MORE convoluted ... and possibly a bit GAY too ... XD

Continuous attempts at Bane ... oh, but FINALLY the Emissary FAILS his save ... YAY!!! About damn time ...

Phantasmal Force? Oh yeah, that could work ... but it IS pretty risky ...

What ... Laudna should just ASSUME the identity of the Emissary for the rest of her life? That is, like, a SUPREMELY DUMB idea, Braius ...

Oh okay ... so now they're putting their wildly overblown concoluted plan into action? This should be entertaining ...

Meanwhile Fearne is now STEALING ALL THE EMISSARY'S SHIT ... I mean OF COURSE she is ...

Fuck ... here we go, then ... O.O ... wow, and that wasover SO FAST ... almost an anticlimax ... XD ... you magnificent idiots ...

Born theatre kid Dorian offers his underwhelmed critique ... LOL

Take 2? Hmmmm ... best to get their shit WORKED OUT this time, people ... Ashton's being the forecful director of the scene ... cue MASSIVE overacting ... wow, that was such a mess ...

Final take? Dear gods help us ...

Balls ... Zathuda ESCAPED while they were working out their scene? Oh, that is SO BAD right now ... O.O Good thing he's Haunted, at least ...

Imogen is now GIVING CHASE ... this is getting SO COMPLICATED ...

Initiative? Crap ...

Chetney rushes outside and just CHUCKS HIS CHISEL AT HIM ... holy fuck, THAT HIT HIM?!!! Unbelievable ... 15 points of Piercing damage ... and he's DOWN again? Bloody hell ... that was a VERY SHORT bit of combat ...

FUCK!!! GLOAMGLUT'S BACK!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Gloamglut takes a swipe at Imogen ... and misses ... so it grabs Zathuda and prepares to flee ...

Braius makes it to the outside entrance ... oh, Misty Step? Nice, do that ... Channel Divinity ... Nature's Wrath? Oh nice ... yeah, DEFINITELY do THAT ... grab that dragon! Oh no ... what mad shit is Riegel planning now? Oh VERY WELL DONE, you muppet ... you just outthought yourself ...

Orym runs under Braius' legs and attacks Zathuda head-on while he's still out ... first is a miss, but second hits ... a Pushing attack? Hmmmm ... nope, not with that massive Dragon strength ... meanwhile Zathuda is now making Death Saves ... oh shit, so he's just DEAD?!!! Wow ...

Crap ... Gloamglut is now SERIOUSLY angry ...

Ashton is in ATROCIOUS shape right now so he's gonna be USELESS for three rounds ... lovely ...

Imogen tries to mount the saddle again ... okay, then ... O.O ... Animal Handling? Ballsy ... oh, with a Psychic Connection? Interesting ... rolling a 19 or 20 will do it, otherwise it's a bust... 6? Holy fuck, Laura Bailey ... so she just tries to REASON with the dragon, ALSO telepathically ...

Dorian sprints outside ... and he's just SHOCKED by what's tranpiring ... yup ...

Laudna blasts it with a Ray of Frost from INSIDE THE BUILDING?!!! Wow ... thank fuck for Spell Sniper ... still a miss, though ... balls ...

Fearne joins the others outside ... oh yeah, this is just a TOTAL MESS, she's not gonna be too impressed with this ... oh, she's trying the family card on Gloamglut? an even BALLSIER plan ... O.O ... roll INSANELY well please, Ashley ... wow, Laura's reaction to that roll CRACKS ME UP ... XD ... 31? HOLY FUCK ... wow ... IS THIS gonna work? Please fuck let this shit work ...

Chetney holds Inflict Wounds to wait and see how this plays out ... O.O

Wait ... is Gloamglut CRYING?!!! Awwwwwwwwwww ...

Braius prepares Ensnaring Strike for JUST IN CASE ...

Orym joins the rest to hold his attack ...

Ashton uses the hammer to restrain the two unconscious fae ... and waits ...

Imogen's hoping tyhis is gonna work ... while using Mage Hands to stroke the dragon in a calming manner along with Fearne's soothing ... wow ... smart ...

Dorian back off back inside as discreetly as he can ... yeah ... "You're doing great. You're so strong ..." For Inspiration ...

Laudna Messages Nana Morri to inform her of the situation unfolding ... and holds her action, ALSO just in case ...

So IS THIS working? Fearne continues doing what she's doing ... then very carefully tries to MOUNT the dragon ... 27? Oh nice ... it lets her get up into the saddle behind Imogen ...

Oh ... now it REALLY wants to eat Chetney ... O.O ... is she going to have to establish dominance right now? And now it's clutching Braius ... wow ... and now Orym too? AND Chetney? Wow ... this is suddenly REALLY complicated ...

IS the dragon under control, Imogen? REALLY?!!!

And now they're flying ... oh boy ... this is all kinds of fucked again ... O.O

Oh, here comes Nana ... time to go, then ... the ones left on the ground are gathering, then ...

Yeah, this could just all kick off again in the air with Nana ... oh thank fuck for Imogen being a horse girl ...

Okay, back to Ligament Manor, then ... phew ... that worked out surprisingly well in the air ... oh, time for a break? Okay then ...

So right now Nana's basically like a nightmare fuel version of Bird Howl? Lovely ... O.O

Yeah, I think Zathuda's probably proper dead by now, guys ...

All right, we're back at Ligament Manor ... yeah, that's NOT topiary ... everybody coming to a landing in turn on the roof garden ... okay ... how's THIS gonna go, then?

Oh, so Gloamglut's all chill now? Okay ... that's gotta be a good sign, right?

Crap ... is Nana thinking about EATING the fae right now?

Laudna attempts to explain the situation to Nana ... in a really convoluted way ... I'm not sure if she REALLY gets the gyst of that ...

Wait ... she's TRAPPING Gloamglut? Hey, not cool ... Fearne just got it ... but yeah, she's got a point, she does owe it a little mistreatment right now ...

What about Zathuda? "Put him through the Loom?" Why does that sound really bad? O.O

So they really are doing this ... okay ... this is going to be interesting, then ...

So ... The Loom. Oh boy ... why is this making me think about that rack in Apostle? It looks REALLY horrible already ...

Oh fuck me ... it's FLAYING HIM?!!! Layer by layer? Holy fuck ... this is DEEPLY unsettling ... she's literally turning him into a flesh tapestry ... O.O ... yup, like I thought, pure nightmare fuel ... he is now a piece of SERIOUSLY macabre art ...

Nana: "It's good to have hobbies, isn't that right?" Sweet fuck that is awful ...

So they can question him now? Okay then ...

Primal Savagery? Go off, Fearne ... O.O

Whoa ... bleak shit to lay on a guy, Ashton ...

Matt describes the subtle horrors on display. Travis: "You okay, Matt?" Very true, very true ... we're ALL a little concerned about the DM right now ...

This ia all turning into a weird opportunity for Fearne to finally connect with Zathuda as her father ... it's all deeply weird ... I'm really not sure what to make of this right now ...

The key to the Ruidusborn? Oh, that's useful information ... spill, creepy living tapestry man ... O.O

He wants Fearne to be his last revenge on Ludinus ... well yeah, he's probably gonna get his wish eventually ... XD

Zathuda: "Now I'm furniture ..." Yeah ... he is that ...

Crap ... does this mean he can't offer up any real information about the new fortress at the Maleus Key? Balls ...

Yeah, let Fearne keep the dragon ... it's so COOL ...

A blood ritual? Oh yeah, that's the ticket ...

Yes! The skinny about the Unseelie ... good call, Imogen ... oh, so this likely hasn't really taken all that much off the board? Bugger ... the Ruidian forces are MASSIVE?!!! Great ... O.O

Ludinus' weakness? Smart, Orym ... hubris, yeah ...

Travis is HATING all of this ... well done, Matt ... you've creeped your boy out again ... XD

Whoa ... Braius, nice ... does Fearne have any siblings out there? No? Hmmmmmmmm ... I'm not convinced that's really true ...

No ... NOT THE TIME, people ... do not bring Foreigner into this ...

Birdie! Hey! Okay ... maybe not the best of timing for their arrival ...

Oh, Nana can make it go invisible? Yeah, probably for the best ... O.O

Yeah, Laudna and Nana bonding over twistd artistry is ENTIRELY to be expected ... XD

Fearne and Ashton continue to be adorable ... :3 Meanwhile Sorian and Imogen are DEEPLY unsettled by what they've just witnessed ...

Oh gods ... the porno ... don't invoke the porno again, guys ...

Nana Morri's fucking with the fae's heads ... yeah ... that's some more creepy disturbing unpleasantness ... aaaaah ... the cracking knuckles ... and OTHER joints ... yeesh ...

Nana: "If at first you don't succeed ..." Laudna: "Wait! I know this one! Shut the fuck up!" Nana: "Push until they stop moving." Ye gods ...

Fuck ... this poor bastard is just being TORTURED right now ...

Oh my gods ... HOW are you all rolling SO FUYCKING BAD right now? This is SO FUCKED ... NOW what are we gonna do?

O.O ... fucking hell ... THAT'S how they make the topiary things? That's just SO FUCKED UP ...

So we just have to rely on what the guard reveals to make this work? Oh boy ... I don't have a huge amount of faith in this plan ...

And so it's all down to Dorian, then ... okay ... Matthew, you BASTARD, that wasn't funny ... XD ...

Kamal? Awwww ... poor kid's really being used right now ... so here we go, then ... let's see if this finally fucking takes ... Bane! And more Bane! AND Silvery Barbs! SOMEHOW it finally fucking takes ... oh my FUCKING GODS ...

Awwww ... sweet Coriolus, MVP of the episode ... :3

"MISSION COMPLETE!!!" Yeah!

Wow, that's one QUICK maid service ... XD

Right ... what's the next step then?

Laudna: "He looked at me and said 'Spooky lady wants to talk to you'." Hmmmm ... maybe talking to the Matron could be the right call right now?

You're definitely selling yourself short there, Imogen. You really are something special ... you're some proper Seventh Son of a Seventh Son level of special ...

What, Nana might have an IN with the Matron? Interesting ...

So sleep, then back to Vesselheim, and then ... whatever's next? Or deal with Gloamglut first? Well, sleep on it first ...

Awwwwww ... Dorym sweetness ... just what we need right now ... :3

There's HOT SPRINGS?!!! Really?

Oooooooooh ... Ashton! You little shit! I love it! XD

Fearne's spending the night out with Gloamglut, then ... awwwwww ... :3

More Pate bizarreness ... XD

Oh, okay ... Braius and Asmodeus? How's this gonna go? HOLY SHIT he's getting an answer! O.O Is that Matt Mercer doing an impression of Brennan Lee Lulligan?

A vision of hell ... and the god of lies himself ... wow ... that'ssome crazy shit ...

Fuck me ... is Braius propositioning Nana Morri? O.O Holy fuck and she's INTO IT TOO ... oh my gods is that ACTUALLY HAPPENING?!!!

Chetney came SO CLOSE to being trapped in his fancy demonic armour forever there ...

Bompers! Hi! So cute and so unsettling in equal measure!

Fearne starts bonding with Gloamglut ... gods, they're so sweet together ... :3 Awww ... and it's accepting of Ashton too ... nice ... and they drift off into a nice, peaceful sleep ...

Yeah, that's EXACTLY where I expected Matt to call it a night this time. Good place for it, really ...

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e3 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

squeezing this one in riiiiight before the next two eps drop lol. anyway these posts are about me processing these episodes and if you want to read them then that's cool too. but fair warning this is gonna be a fucking mess.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

show opens on zheng leading a raid and INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH. this might be the first time we've seen a raid where like. the background music is kinda moody. and what's odd is that it has like the same level of comedically over-the-top violence and characters just having a casual conversation as like, the e5 cold open. but there's sad piano and strings doing tremolo in the background. i have no idea what this means.

god. zheng is so fucking hot.

i love olu's "no, no, sorry, bruv." and the FACE HE MAKES AFTER!!! so good

olu's a feminist

ZHENG IS SO FUCKING HOT

~champers?~ stede you are such a dork. i need to pinch ur cheeks.

yeah fuck the english!!

zheng saying "everyone's cracking down on the little guy" makes me wonder if the show is gonna do anything abt how the end of the golden age of piracy was like. a year off. which i only know from reading a few fics where the authors incorporated that into the plot. and there was the one trailer where we see zheng in jackie's bar while stede's giving everyone a speech so yknow what that might be where all this is going. big pirate battle at the end of the season, right?

another thing ive been wondering abt tho is just how much is this show gonna completely fuck with history. because like. is zheng yi sao gonna conquer the fucking caribbean. are we just going completely off the rails re: historical accuracy and inventing entire major historical events?? like crocs and pinocchio and pirates from different historical periods all existing at the same time and in the same place is one thing but if the characters like. overthrow england. then ofmd just straight-up exists in an alternate timeline at that point.

stede "the gentleman pirate kills with kindness" bonnet being so impressed with zheng is so cute to me tho

fhsjkgdhfushl oh my god when zheng snaps her fingers and stede hurries to refill drinks the other captain guy grins and flashes finger guns at stede and this is SO fucking funny to me

zheng being like "noooo it's stupid teehee" tucking her hair behind her ears ALSO very funny to me

whose job was it to make the letter N out of caviar for the title card in this episode bc it looks fantastic. got little serifs and everything

stede taking his towel duties VERY seriously and just. dropping them on zheng's desk for no reason. even olu is like "stede what the fuck are you doing"

obsessed with the running gag of stede being like "i always say that!" and other characters being like "no you fucking dont"

stede having zero impulse control and seeing the abacus and just being like "hey what the hell is this thing" and shaking it around. me too, king.

i wont lie tho part of me wonders if stede like. going overboard with towel duty and messing shit up is on purpose. like is he playing dumb so zheng lets her guard down just in case he needs her to think he's completely helpless?? bc at the end of the episode he does get one over on her and i assume it's partly bc she underestimated him. or am i just reading too much into it lol.

but idk it's weird that olu's like "ok stede zheng is busy" and stede's just like "im gonna shake this thing now teehee"

WAIT ALSO backtracking a bit. why were stede and olu shadowing zheng at the beginning of the episode. i mean olu i get, it's bc she has a crush on him (who can blame her) but what's the in-universe justification for zheng being like "yeah alright white boy u can come too"

stede's gay little run out of the room. GO GET YOUR MAN!!!!

awww the crew all look so sad at how messed up the ship is :( THAT'S THEIR HOME!!!

I KNEW THE GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 WAS GONNA KILL ME WHEN IT SHOWED UP IN S2 BUT THIS WAS TOO FUCKING MUCH. THE WAY IT TRAILS OFF AND WE JUST HEAR THE WIND ECHOING. FUCKINGGGGG CLAWING AT MY EYES

i love that there's knife stuck in the painting guy's dick. stupid gags like that never get old. also if that was izzy it's extra funny like what the fuck did he even do that for

also have we ever actually seen the outside of the door to stede's cabin like this before??? we saw those dutch guys get chased down this hallway but idk about. the door.

the crew is too busy feasting on raw bird like they're extras in a zombie film to hear stede calling for ed. love that.

the two people that the camera focuses on individually are jim and izzy. makes sense bc these are the characters who i think are gonna have the most important shit going on re: the fact that they all tried to kill ed.

stede's painfully awkward smile after "um... hi." i mean honestly tho what the fuck else do you say to walking in on this

oh shit jim was totally about to tell stede what happened tho. and then archie interrupted with "oh shit, you're stede?????"

this must be so fucking funny from archie's perspective tho. must've heard so much abt this guy and now she finally gets to meet the main character of the story she stumbled into about a third of the way through. and he's kinda just some blond guy.

stede sounds so defensive too tho when archie's like "i thought you'd be taller, charismatic, muscly" bc god that's exactly what he thinks he should be. i mean ok stede is charismatic in a very unique way but his whole e1 fantasy of having a beard and being all macho and badass was just putting all his insecurities on blast. and now archie is like "this is the guy blackbeard was so fucked up over?? really????"

shoutout to archie saying "got tired" when theyre all saying ed retired

also why was wee john in this shot. like not even just in the shot he's just sitting RIGHT behind stede listening to the whole thing. he doesn't have a single line.

stede rolling his eyes and ignoring izzy is so good. yes king dont take the bait

oh ok wee john was there so that we can see frenchie go over to him and give him a fist bump in the background while stede walks away to stare off into the distance

eddie on tha beach

piggie!

cave! remember when we were all like "CAVE KISS???? ARE THEY GONNA KISS IN THE CAVE??????" it would be funny if this is it for the cave. just off in the distance for one shot. cant actually tell if this is the cave they were posting pictures of last fall tho and idrc enough to try and figure it out

pig's name is ruthie. ed why did your subconscious name the pig ruthie.

why did ed's subconscious make hornigold tell him "open up for the cargo ship" ed your daddy issues are fucking insane

hornigold fully like rubs ed's chest for a second there. kinda a weird choice there.

"last time i saw you, you said you were gonna flay my skin and feed it back to me" man what is it with these pirates and forced autocannibalism, huh? i think getting flayed would hurt more but skin's probably easier to eat than toes so idk which i'd prefer. no i dont know why im pondering this either

smthng abt how this is ed hallucinating this whole bit where hornigold pinches his nose and force-feeds him soup is so funny to me. it's a metaphor for ed dragging himself kicking and screaming to therapy.

frenchie telling fang to stfu scjgdfchjxgk

fucking incredible line delivery from joel fry through the whole "it's quite hot, im burnin up here! should we go and get some coolin' bevvies?" bit. love it.

uhh line break

also bro auntie is dead-on about the guilt. i dont blame the crew at all for what they did but this + the whole bird-eating sequence bro. they all liked ed. they cared abt him. other than archie, they all knew him as a pretty cool person. like BRO im gonna have to make another post abt this but the trauma of like, someone you liked becoming so suicidal that he puts you in increasingly miserable situations hoping you'll snap and kill him and he keeps escalating it until you have no choice but to kill him for your own safety. but you know he was a funny and chill person before this. and you know he only did this bc he wanted to die. dude this shit is fucking heavy.

anyway cut to jimolu lol

bro what IS going on in towels. i love how stede just passes around towels for smelling. is this something people have done literally ever or is this just so we can have chloroform towels at the end of the episode

sorry i know in the last post i was sort of squinting at the bit where olu forgot how to pronounce china but the was he mispronounces eucalyptus is just so satisfying to hear i cant even be mad abt it

awwwwgh u can tell jim was scared to tell olu abt kissing archie

lmaoooo when jim says "i saw her boobs" olu's head WHIPS around and he's like "oh??" all wide-eyed dbhjgkhdfyjsk

naw im sorry this is cute. this is a cute tealoranges scene. yes it's jim telling olu abt how they hooked up with someone else but bro i LOVE relationships with this kind of comfortable discussion abt sex and abt relationships in general. i mean there's a lot more for them to talk about still but in a worse show this wouldve been a whole screaming match. instead we got jim saying "you're kinda the best friend i tell everything to" and joking about boobs and UGH. it's so cute!!!!

it's also so fucking funny tho. "i saw her boobs" "oh?? okay, nice" "both of them" "nope, too much" WHY IS THAT WHERE HE DRAWS THE LINE HFKHSGJKFKKJFHK

also when did jim see archie's boobs tho. like ok realistically they've seen each other in varying stages of undress just bc it's not that big of a ship and there's only so much privacy. but the funnier answer is that after ed kicked them out of the secret room and a few minutes later a gunshot went off (who did the rest of the crew think pulled the trigger, i wonder) and they think izzy's dead probably. and then jim and archie decided this was a good time to hook up.

wait i forgot abt the nebulous amount of time between the mutiny and stede walking in on them all eating a dead bird. who fucking knows how much time that was tho. but they could've hooked up then i guess

GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. IM SOBBING.

the song gets to play out more in this scene and ohhhh baby i missed this piano piece. also stede looks more annoyed than upset. he's just casually yoinking things out of the wall. and then he sees the ones on the ceiling and is like "really, ed?"

i think i said this in the tags of a gifset but izzy says "don't cry, bonnet" when stede's back is to him and i just think it's funny bc stede literally wasnt crying. he just looked kinda pissed off. izzy continues to not understand ed or stede even a little bit.

also i love how the music changes by just playing a minor chord and then there's like a spooky echo and then. no more background music.

i just realized izzy's crutch is literally just a mop he's holding upside down. this is funny to me for some reason

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one" izzy hands racism moments

why does izzy even lie about this. why does he say "no i could never do that" when literally he did. he looked right at ed's face as jim hit it with a fucking cannonball. like. what fucking purpose does lying about this even serve. in what way does that benefit izzy. idgi

also ive heard that apparently ppl think he did this to spare stede or something but 1. why would he not want to specifically torture stede as much as possible 2. this is literally not sparing stede bc stede would spend the rest of his life scouring the entire caribbean hoping to find the island where they dropped ed.

RANDOM fucking idea tho but what if they did maroon him but it was on the island from 1x02. that wouldve been great for ed probably. get therapy from the old guy. have some coconut rum drink. chill out. oh well instead they shoved ed into a secret closet and left him there to die from a traumatic head injury.

hornigold calling ed "bro" was such a dead giveaway for me that this was a dream sequence or whatever. like from trailers and stuff i had already figured that this guy was hornigold and that he was probably a ghost or something but i think i mightve been questioning it a little bit at this point. but yeah anyway ed says "bro" and while obviously we dont know exactly what hornigold was like, he didnt sound like the kind of guy to say "bro"

i do love how hornigold's like "you worried you're insane?" and ed's just like "yeah a little bit!"

hornighost: you gotta move on or blow your brains out. or... we can make some soup. ed: yeah let's do soup.

wait stede told zheng that they marooned ed. and then zheng is like "well it's at least mutiny-adjacent" like no im pretty sure that's literally just a regular mutiny

bro rubio qian is so good at making faces

i love how ed's like "you ever thought about selling these shoes?" like who the fuck is hornigold going to sell them to. where does ed think they are.

OUGH RETURN OF ED'S HAIR ALL UP IN A BUN!!!!

ough... return of ed's trauma :(

ughughghuhguhughughgffffff every time i hear ed's voice in the bathtub scene i want to cryyyyy SOMEONE HUG THIS MAN I SWEAR TO GOD

also hornigold's mouth definitely moves in this shot where ed climbs off his body lol

hnnng... ed arm

oughuhgu and a strand of the wig came out of the bun WHY IS HE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

i cant believe for months i had my fingers crossed for the "person A thinks person B is dead" trope with ed hearing about the fuckery but instead i got it THE OTHER WAY AROUND. AAAAAAAAAAAHH

yo is hornigold wearing like. a flag. idk why i just noticed this but there's like a giant metal rung with rope tied through it holding his whole robe-ish situation together. is that a flag

very random thought but i love how tv shows just cut back and forth btwn plots and one plot might basically be one conversation but every time we cut back theyre in a different setting and we dont see how they got there. like the cut from stede walking in on the crew eating a bird to all of them back on zheng's ship eating soup. and now we went from ed yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" at hornighost's hut and now they're on a beach talking abt what the fuck is going on. why did they go there. who knows. doesnt matter.

ed is so fucking stressed abt being in the gravy basket. poor man is nervously playing with the big stick and trying so hard not to lose his cool.

damn he threw that stick really far tho. good arm.

im sorry but it's SO fucking funny how zheng is trying to seduce olu in this scene and she's like "whats the status of your boatmance is it... ongoing?" *unsheathes sword* like girl that's not seduction that's a full-on threat. i mean it's still hot dgmw but it's unclear what exactly you're going for here

YES STEDEY-BOY

loving the jaunty little escape music

archie and jim holding haaands

stede: you always say you have perfect aim black pete: ive never said that roach: you always say that lucius, throwing his beloved boyfriend under the bus: you said it today

buttons is so fucking loud fhjkhgyejkthfjkhg. ngl i relate tho

obsessed with the noise button makes when he slides across to the Revenge

and they use tea towels to slide over!! god stede really made the most out of his time in towels

~~

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE how olu is the one sitting on the desk with his legs dangling and kicking during this makeout session

also obsessed with how theoretically olu could've seduced zheng out of killing the crew and it's possible that none of this was necessary

wait i literally just realized that they stole the wheel not just so that zheng couldn't follow them but bc the Revenge didnt have one lol

ugh ed's tits look so good what the hell

ed in his head instantly associates the phrase "calico jack" with someone going "WHOOHOO" at the top of their lungs

oughu FUCK i did not fucking realize this but ed is taking hornigold's presence here as confirmation that he's not loveable. earlier hornighost said "you're afraid you're unlovable" but then when he's on the cliff and he's like "you brought me here because you hate yourself" ed is like "im not loveable." ohhhhhh fuck

and then hornigold is like "and you're afraid to do anything about it. but im not" and then throws the rock off the cliff. this is the shittiest part of ed's brain calling him a pussy for not killing himself and telling him he deserves to die. fuuuuuuuuck me.

oh boy okay. ed got yanked off the cliff. stede is heading into the secret room. idk if i even have anything to say about the mermaid sequence like i cant believe this shit is real. fuck. this is a fever dream. they really just... wrote this. filmed it. put rhys darby in a fish tail. FUCK

ok the two things i have to say about this. first: the fucking flashback montage in this sequence makes me stop breathing like every single fucking time. secondly: when theyre face-to-face in ed's mermaid fantasy there's a split second where ed sort of jolts forward a tiny tiny tiny half of an inch. and i have no idea if it's intentional. but it makes me think of how in the "you wear fine things well" scene ed TOTALLY STEPS IN THINKING STEDE'S ABOUT TO KISS HIM.

WRITTEN BY ALYSSA LANE AND ALEX SHERMAN. SHOUTOUT TO THOSE GUYS.

[meteor752]

Episode 8 thoughts

I’m scared

Philosophy with Edward, good start

He looks strangely cute honestly, like a very happy boy

Alright, random guy just aggressively “HMMMMMM”

You indoctrinating them into your sea cult Eddie?

Random guy being more aggressive, aight

At this point I had to leave for class, so like tbc for me

Okay I’m back!

Aww they hugging :)

Mans name is pop pop?

Okay it’s not

I adore Ed’s hair, but I think that’s a given here

Yeah okay mans is strugglin

Bye bye Eddie!

Prince boy is back…hurray

Spanish Jackie is absolutely slaying, I adore her

Aaaaaaaand, I have class again, jolly good

If I get called away again I’m gonna loose it

Oh great the stupid nose jar is back

Oh no Swede!!

Oh the bridge is back!

This is a strange friendship, but I kinda love it. The gay loser and bisexual girlboss is back

Let’s go Stede! Save your bestie!

Eddie nooooooooooooo

Eddie yessssssssssssss

Goth Ed is back, ready to avenge his bf

My god he looks fucking cool

OH THE KRAKEN

Izzy keeps on being the best character of the season

I think Prince boy has a crush on Izzy, just like the rest of the fandom

What you trynna do prince boy

“It’s about belonging to something when the world has told you you’re nothing” pirating keeps on being an allegory for the queer community, and it keeps being so sweet, especially to Izzy’s story

Wait when did Roach and Fang even get here?

THOSE LETTERS ARE NOT FOR YOU MISTER

Casually reading the letter while stabbing a guy, he just keeps on winning

The fanfics were right!!! He did find the letters!

“YOU WROTE ME A LOVELY LETTER!!” gurl saaaaaaame

THE BLACK BEACH!!

Girlboss is helping!!

STEARD!!!

Smooch!

I’m so soft…

That reunion is all I ever wanted out of this show actually

“For love!!” Stede we don’t deserve you

Don’t ya dare touch Lucius scarf!

Oh Auntie is alive!

When did Jim become the crew doctor? They are somehow worse at it than Roach I’d say

New trio to obsess over

Edward Teach canonically did a flip during a fight, my baby

They are both so supportive to their golden retriever friend/bf

Babe!!

“But you’re not a man. You’re soft” alright auntie

Trans Oluwande?

Izzy keeps saying eat the rich, and we stan him

Izzy!!!!!!! Hell yes!!!!

Oh oh my god

Please don’t tell me Swede died for that!

Oh okay no he’s like that princess bride dude, aight

Olu is a great support system

Ed is slaying in his gay ass sitting way

I DID NOT CONSENT TO HAVING A FULL BARE ARSE JUST DISPLAYED IN FRONT OF ME

Stede looks surprisingly sexy in that outfit

Alright, a little Archie Jim action, hell yeah

How come every time they kiss Izzy is just, in the background

THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD!!

Frenchie!

Girlbosses, all of them

HOLY FUCKING SHIT JIM

Aww, Eddie cares <3

Aww, Izzy does not care <3

Frenchie helps Izzy! Fuck do I ship that now?

If Izzy dies I’m gonna throw my computer

Izzy remains the best even while on deaths door

Wait he called him Eddie?

Okay I don’t have captions, so I have no idea what Izzy is saying here

WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?!?!

Okay I heard Twat

Something about family?

Oh my god…

Okay I’m not throwing my computer because it’s technically my school’s computer but like bruv

NO!!!

IZZY!!!!!!!!

Why him??????

Zheng apart of the crew? Ayo?

Stede don’t push it

WEDDING!!!

Why is Wee John officiating?

Maybe it’s because he’s Calypso

Oh no they’re all officiating that’s sweet

Mateys!!!

Roach is a doll

Frenchie is officially the first mate? Ayo???

INNKEEPERS!!!!!!!!!

Does that mean Frenchie is the captain??

The cravat!

Hi Buttons

Frenchie!

I think this is the first interaction Wee John and Frenchie has had all season, which is sad honestly

If we get a season 3, it better switch povs between The Revenge and Stede and Ed’s adventures as innkeepers, together with their pet bird Buttons and the ghost of Izzy

[booksrbetterthanpeople]

Just a bunch of out of context SB&IB quotes

Marinette: Quick question. Has Luka shown you their pirate booty yet?

Adrien: *Giggles; blushes* … No!

—

Luka: Now to find us a taxi like a man!… *Pokes out his leg* Yoohoo~! *Several taxis stop by them*

—

Austin A: Trust me, I don't need a weapon to get respect. *lays his bat down on the table*

Austin T: What’s up, you short ass motherfu- *Austin A picks up his bat* Handsome, strong- *Austin A puts his bat down* Stupid, dumbass- *Austin A picks up his bat* All around nice guy.

Austin A: … Okay, maybe you have a point.

—

Mr. Monlataing: *Hits Mr. Damocles over the head with a lunch tray, knocking him out* I'm sorry, Mr. Damocles, but you were acting like such a jerk that even a granola-crunching pacifist like me had to do something about it.

Mr. Damocles: Fair enough.

—

Mr. Damocles: Well! What brings you ladies to this perfectly legitimate school?!

Alyssa: Why… Our precious son, Marcquelle, of course.

Marc: I said, ‘Call me Marc!’

Mr. Damocles: Oh. So you two are-

Marc: My cool lesbian moms. *High fives them as they fist bump each other, then poses* Aw, yeah!

Mr. Damocles: Oh, thank God! You’re just gay!

—

Adrien: Oh no! My leftover Chinese food! It's gone!

Nino: *Eating Chinese food* Dude, if I'd have known, I never would have-

Adrien: And look at that. Someone drew a mustache on my favorite headshot! Don't you people understand!? There's only one explanation! It's the ghost!

Nino: Yeah, uh, a ghost ate your Chinese food. *hides the Chinese food*

Nathaniel: *hides a marker* And drew a mustache on your headshot.

Ivan: And uh, got high on allergy pills and made out with your toothbrush ... Uh, I mean uh, what ghost?

—

Cosette: Austin Armbruster is Monarch! I'll prove it!

Marc: How?

Cosette: Through science! *pulls out a crossbow* If I shoot him in the face and he lives, he’s Monarch.

—

Austin Q: *After Austin T gives him mouth to mouth* What are you doing?!

Austin T: I was saving your life.

Austin Q: Next time let me die!

—

Lacey: Lila! What’s going on with you and Nathaniel?

Lila: Me and Nath? I-

Jean: Lila, honey, it’s obvious Nathan hates your guts. We just wanna know why, you sweet, beautiful gorgeous queen.

Lacey: *Pulls Jean aside* What the hell are you doing?

Jean: I thought we’d play a little “bad cop, fab cop!” *Puts on a boa*

Lacey: I love it!

[lych33dragoncookie]

*slams hands on table* what are your thoughts on Squid Ink or Sorbet Shark?

Taking in a deep, deep breath. Cracking my knuckles.

I've been waiting for this one. I'm picking the shark.

But before I do that? I have something that's prerequisite reading. This. Specific. Post. Completely mandatory reading to not make everything I'm about to say incredibly weird. This Readmore shall only be clicked once you've observed it.

Alright, so now that we've established that I do NOT believe this is a child and that any indication of the sort in CRK is retconwork that is not to be taken even remotely seriously, let's do this. Dear god I hope this doesn't destroy my followerbase. Consider this me going public about the fact that @sharkpedia is me and that this blog is pretty much most of the reason that one has gone inactive. Oh, and if you still prefer seeing them as a child, that's totally fine, I don't think it's bad to do so from a media literacy perspective or anything, but it's definitely not my preference.

Sexuality Headcanon: Incredibly bisexual, though there's a particular weakness for big women. Gender Headcanon: Masc-presenting NB, they/them strictly though. I call this thing a guy but without any of the bearing of actual gender.

Ship: Okay. I was very, very, VERY wary of this one at first but the more I thought about it the more I was like well none of this makes sense at all so I might as well take it. Black Pearl. Weakness to big women comes in here, they follow her around like a lost puppy in an extremely gay manner. Worth noting here, the reason I was hesitant at first is that Black Pearl seems intrinsically tied to the idea CRK tries to shove down your throat that this is a child, right? But then I thought, wait, not even that makes sense. The Duskgloom Sea and Soda Islands are like an entire continent apart, so there's absolutely no way in hell they could have went from the Soda Islands, to BP's cave, then back to the Soda Islands THAT fast to make the Soda Islands story be bale to happen. It makes no sense. I get that they're trying to imply it, but they did it so haphazardly and in a way that makes so little sense that I find it hard to take seriously. So, yeah, BP is my pick here. BP is transfem here btw just noting that BROTP: Considering Peppermint? But idk I don't find their dynamic THAT fun. They're friends tho. Pirate meanwhile, that's a whole other story. I think Pirate and Sorbet have a dumb little petty cartoon villain and incompetent henchman dynamic going on. NOTP: Peppermint. Sorry, but considering I do not see Sorbet as a child at all, Peppermint x Sorbet is... Just a lil uncomfortable for me. Again, no judgement, specially if you do prefer your shark to be a child, but it's completely off-limits for me.

Random headcanon: Not present in the design but I think it'd be rly cool if they kept a shark tooth necklace from a young age. Like they shed a fang and throw it away but in that moment remember that "oh wait i've seen land cookies wearing these before!! and they look super cool!!!" and they frantically go back to get it, which they do, and they've been rocking with it ever since. They've also probably got a similar build to Alchemist, just a little thicker with a tasteful amount of buffness behind it. Like just a tiny bit. Wider than you'd expect, but not ripped by any means. Oh and I guess the entire age situation goes here too LOL, this is a short king to me (until they're in shark form at which point HOLY SHIT, BIG)

General opinion: Yeah I'm not normal. I have a history and a half with this little fucker. I was gay as hell at first sight and within the update I had NO reason to believe this wasn't a child, but at some point presumably due to a lack of any high degree of media literacy I grew kinda weary and decided to not touch that. And then years later during the events this year of me getting back into Cookie Run, a lot wiser, I went "hey wait a fucking minute" and realized that the "canon" statements of them being a kid hold absolutely no weight and contradict previous material and were clearly just done to boost the dude's marketability. And since then I've felt vindicated regaining access to my cute little shark person and allowing myself to be abnormal <3 cute, fun, attractive, he instills a somewhat similar feeling in me as Pure Vanilla does. ... Worth noting that any content the shark has in Kingdom holds 0 weight to me. Pretty much everything I think about regarding them comes from Ovenbreak. Specially because their personality hasn't been so brightly on display since their debut, specially not in CRK where they're so much more passive and woobified to hell and back.

Also their costumes peaked at Pirate Overlord it has not gotten any better since then.

[lohstandfound]

🚿🤔🐎

🚿Where do your best ideas seem to strike?

somewhere when im not next to anything i can write on (shower, work, on the bus)

or when im brainstorming with someone and we just have a major breakthrough

its mostly the shower tbh

🤔What are some words or phrases you find yourself overusing?

im editing my gay poetry manuscript again and oh my god so much

i havent noticed anything?

although i have noticed that i will, like, do that sort of thing a lot ([phrase], like, [continue]) but that's mostly in dialogue so its more of a character thing.

i am awful at picking up trends in my own writing

🐎 Would you ever do a medieval or pirate au?

pirate au i have considered after seeing pirate x mermaid richjake fanart ages ago (i could not find it again if i tried i probably could scrolling way back through main but theres so much on there)

medieval au i have also considered, the current one i have been thinking about is popular kids polycule. it was something like jake was a prince who is very much in love with rich, his best friend/assistant. jake's parents want him to marry so they arrange for a bunch of suitors. one of them was brooke. jake doesnt want this relationship but brooke is actually pretty cool, they get along very well. brooke finds out about jake and rich and offers to cover for them, besides she has similar reasons to not want to be in a relationship considering her close relationship with her personal knight (chloe)

(chloe was the one i had trouble trying to fit into this situation but just came up with the idea of her disguising herself to remain close to brooke. brooke being the only one to know)

and it would mostly be shennanigans of hiding relationships and identities and mutual pining and jake doing all he can to defy his parents

[robotslenderman]

Eurovision Semifinals 2

I just found this in my drafts from 2022 Eurovision and I thought I was hilarious so I'm posting it.

I have no idea what past me is talking about half the time. Altho it's interesting to note how my tastes have changed over time - I'm quite fond of Finland's song now and I LOVE Estonia's 2022 song (I HOPE, I HOPE, I HOPE) so was genuinely surprised to see I didn't like them so much at the time.

You know, when I was a kid my parents used to always put presenters and hosts on mute and say they were unbearable to listen to. Believe it or not, I have made it to 30 being largely sheltered from the tyranny of hosts.

Now I get it. I absolutely get it. Every time the three stooges show up I feel like I'm being treated like a four-year-old. Exaggerated facial expressions? Constant "WOW!" vibes? Overdramatic acting? That's how you act when you're trying to entertain four-year-olds.

At the risk of sounding like my mother I got spoiled with British presenters --

"my name is Chicky! Chicky Chicky Chicky!" oh my god please shoot me I was being facetitious when I made the comment about four-year-olds that was NOT AN INVITATION --

oh wow the guns on Laura.

Anyway I'm going to tune this two out until the show starts and oooh, Finland. I always like the aesthetic of Finnish musicians.

Finland -- And right away we're treated to IT. And English. And -- actually I take back what I said about Finnish aesthetic. The balls and lights are cool but the raincoat and shirtlessness are not. Decent song, much better than most of last night, so marks go up, but was ultimately less interesting than the really big hole I'm digging in Minecraft to keep my ADHD happy while I watch this, and therefore fails the Minecraft Hole Test. 6/10

Israel -- I was about to wonder if this song being really gay was deliberate or not then the limp wrist showed up. This is super gay. Sadly, the gay is not enough for it to compete with the Minecraft Hole, which distracts me for most of the performance, so fails the Minecraft Hole Test. Song is decent, costumes cool, and the gayness gives it an extra point, but I've already forgotten the song. 6/10

Serbia -- I feel like I'm watching a Christo-Vulcan 007. But at least it's not in English. The performance is cool and has successfully made me look up from my Minecraft hole. Song itself is okay, once again, wouldn't change the radio away from it. The flowers are super cool, the costumes are also great, like the aesthetic. Passes the Minecraft Hole test. 7/10

Azerbaijan -- So apparently these slower songs are ballads, which honestly I don't mind. This one has cool atmosphere, and he's not singing in English, so bonus points for that, but my attention goes back to the Minecraft hole. Wait. No. That sounds like English? I genuinely can't tell. I do briefly look up at the way they've lit up the waterfall tho. Song itself is beautiful so I'll probably get it afterwards, but performance is dull and docks points. 7/10

Georgia -- So these guys have Willy Wonka and a pirate and a dude in an Elizabethan collar. And my Dunmer Nightblade as drummer. Hm. For a moment I look to see if this'll get interesting or not, then return to the Minecraft hole. I briefly look up when my computer monitor drops some LSD and -- okay that chest compartment with the diorama is really cool, but not cool enough to salvage this. Points added for cool costumes and the unique presentation, but the song itself sucks. 5/10

Malta -- Very pretty. Lady at a piano classic aesthetic again. Like the -- shit, I forgot what the mist stuff is. Song gives me "will either be great or meh" vibes this early in, but then the Minecraft hole wins again. 5/10

Break time. Minecraft hole takes all my attention. Except for the brief sighting of what I think is Maneskin, which stands out to me bc @ryttu3k has been treating me to Ethan Torchio gifs for the last year. Yep that's definitely Maneskin. Maneskin passes the Minecraft Hole Test, it turns out. The hosts do not.

San Marino -- I didn't even know this was a country. Delightfully, the song is not English. I love this guy's outfit -- OH MY GOD IT'S THE COWBOY GUY. his hat has SEQUINS. He passes the Minecraft Hole Test. Also this is very gay. And I love the purple guitar -- WOW I DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS ACTUALLY GAY UNTIL THEY DID THAT. God I keep expecting queerbaiting only to get actual queers, this is AWESOME. 9/10

Banana host is caught gazing lustfully. Banana host has excellent taste, if not in clothes. Australia's performance is apparently delayed, from what I've heard it's probably because of the clothes. Time to see our friend and boy!

Australia -- Come on, darling, don't let me down, you have a Minecraft hole to compete with! Also wow his voice is DEEP, I thought he was like sixteen. Nice voice, nice costume, performance itself is meh. Altho the swirling mist is a nice touch. Like that little headshake when he takes the veil thing off. Ultimately fails the Minecraft Hole Test, but was pleasant to listen to and I liked it. 7/10

Cypress -- Oooh, pretty aesthetic. Like the way the song is starting. Aaaaand then the song starts and the hole wins. 5/10

Ireland -- Oooh, I like the energy of this. Then the singing starts and I'm like "nah" and get back to digging my hole. Also starting to get really annoyed by singers yakking after the song. Australia did it too, Jesus, give the audience a moment to have some afterglow! 5/10

North Macedonia -- English. BOO. Song is a bit slow at first but then picks up and I quite like it and AAAUGH SHE TALKS AFTERWARDS TOO SHUT UP. Fails Minecraft Hole Test. 7/10

Estonia -- Minecraft hole is so interesting I almost miss whose turn it is. More English. Confused as to why Estonia suddenly likes American country but it's very Johnny Cash. Decent enough I guess. 6/10

Ah shit Banana Host is back. Cue Toreador discussion about beauty. and oh god there's a baby no make it go away. They make up for it with a dog. and then there's another baby. ew.

Romania -- More fucking English. They make up for it with a LITTLE bit of Romanian, as a treat. It's meh. 5/10

Poland -- Sigh. More english. Fairy lights are pretty but song is meh. Energy picks up but somehow makes it sound worse. I do love the poeple dressed up as, what, drowned spirits? That's so cool. Quality goes up a bit towards the end but wow this guy is obsessed with rivers and stuff. I guess it beats another goddamn love song. But yeah those spirits are really cool. And of course he talks at the end. 5/10

Montenegro -- The Minecraft hole is starting to bore me so I'm wandering off to build a ship in Starbound now. And it's... more English. And she talks at the end. 4/10

Belgium -- This is going to be English isn't i -- yep it's English. Love the dude's jacket but it's the only interesting thing about the song. He's also a talker. 4/10

I think I'm judging harsher tonight because I'm getting bored and also because SO MUCH FUCKING ENGLISH

Sweden -- More English. My mother said she thinks this one'll win but I don't see it at first until it picks up and then it is actually really nice. Presentation isn't great -- that green is awful -- but wow this song is actually pretty good now it's picked up. Also dang she's gorgeous. (please don't be a talker please don't be a talker please don't be a talker ah fuck she's a talker) 6/10

Czech Republic -- English. And singing in an American accent, no less. Yeah I think I'm done for the night because I'm pretty "meh" over just about everything that's been on tonight except for the gay cowboy. Eh, it's not too bad I guess. Maybe I'm just hangry. 6/10

Anyway I'll do a score/pass post next.

[ltlemon]

kk I'm gonna live blog episode 6 of OFMD because it'll be funny MAJOR SPOILERS but also like everything's super spaced out so you could probably read along with my reactions? (no clue why you would do that but the option is there.)

fair warning this is really long but no one's going to actually read this so that's fine.

that opening shot is SOO PRETTY

who tf is this guy

'my love'? is he fruity and evil? evil and fruity?

'god that was a beautiful pitch, that was really nice'??? I THINK SO???

I might end up liking the evil gay violin man

hi ed <33

oh no trauma

DRAMA WITH THE GIRLLLS <33 (Izzys little wiggle is precious)

HE THOUGHT HE WAS ROACH???? HOW DRUNK IS HE HOT DAMN

he did say sorry though :')

they're sharing the bottle !! the only times ed has done that with anyone that I can remember has been with calico jack and stede

fock off >:(

aww stede put away all his stuff for him

's probably not a good idea though

oop, yep, caught it. guilt room :(

poor stede he looks like he feels a little bad now.

he's so sweet about it though. <3

ARCHIE!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER SM

AA LOOK AT HOW JIM LOOKS AT HER

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A BIRTHDAY STORY?!?!? AHAHAH

GIRL YOU ARE INSANE

oluwande looks like he's doubting his partners choice of a third slightly

fang's sticking his pinky out!

hehehehe they want a party <33

YEAHHHH

aww not stede offering to give the loot up to a good cause

give it a new purpose, one not tied to ed's guilt

you interrupted their little meeting >:(

EEhehe

YES TURN POISON INTO POSITIVITY

that's what I said

aw ed's charmed

✨I'm gonna go walk my dogs now, I'll be back✨

okok I'm back and I have a quesadilla

oh cool Ricky's back

you were minding your buisness?? no tf you weren't

heh, his new nose is cute though, it's like fancy china

old wrapped his arm around Jim!!! the cuties ever!!

AWWWWW HES FUCKINDUWDHAH

HES GIVING MONEY TO RANDOM KIDS BC HE WAS POOR AS A KID ADSIJN

I love him so much

'filthy little gutter rats' I'm dying

INN RP???

'don't be pirates' 'yeah agreed don't be pirates 😀'

zheng!

girl what is wrong with you

wee John doing drag makeup!!!!!!!! EAHEIDHAB

izzy seems quite intrigued

AWW stede's so charmed by the party

it's rubbing off on ed too

omfg Jim's so silly

just a little guy

HOLY SHIT WEE JOHN LOOKS GOOD

eeeeee ed's little smile at stede <33

WHAT THE FUCK IZZY MUSICAL SCENE WHAT

WHAT THE FUCK

AND HE'S GOOD!?!?!?!?

WIAIYT WAIT WAIT ARE THEU GONNA DANCE

PLEASE PLEAAAASE TELL ME THEYRE GONNA DANCE

fang's clapping for izzy in the background ee

UEUEUEUE SOME PEOPLE ARE DANCING

Jim and Archie are so flipping cute omfg

holy shit??? hand kiss???

AWWWW <<3333

OH OH OH AND JIMS DANCING WITH OLU TOO

THEY REALLY DO HAVE TWO HANDS

HAH HOLY SHIT THE THREE OF THEM ARE TRYING SO HARD

JIM SANDWICH

!!!!

AW OH OH NO ED SHIELDING STEDE-

oh its gay violin man!

'oh I'm going to torture you all. by the way. 😃' sorry I forgot, I meant evil gay violin man.

I love how when ed says 'its because I only hang out with cool pirates' Stede's looking at him like he just delivered the burn of the century

oh holy shit stede's getting pissed he's like stop touching him

'oh shit! You struck a chord, I think you got it in one!' his face here is so wholesome aa

'you torture like a bitch' 'yes ok honey maybe you shouldn't say that it might get us killed'

AW NO THE LITTLE 'it's me you want ITS ME YOU WANT' he can deal with it, causing pain to himself because of an action he did is fine, he's used to that, but that pain coming to stede is unacceptable.

'so what's the plan you...weird...fock?' starting to like izzy

AHDJAKSJ I love Lucius and Pete sm ya'll

his little conductors baton is really cute

Lucius and Pete in the lower levels of the ship looking like a shot from Alien

omfg stede asking for her name is so cute'

'where were you 😡' 'we got engaged 😄' 'aww🥰' 'anyways- 😡'

'alright gang! let's talk profit sharing! 😄' I'm dead

'don't do it stede 🥺' crying sobbing shaking

holy fucking shit stede

OH NO

baby's looking haunted by the horrors in his bedroom

??????

WHAT??

THE LOOK ON HIS FACE???? I NEED TO REWIND HOLD ON

HOLY SHIT

EDS FACE TOO HE WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

sir you just killed a man???? why do you want to fuck now????????

aw ok but Izzy's back to singing though <33

he likes it :))

PHEW HOLY SHIT WHOA

OK IM STAYING SILENT FOR THIS SCENE ILL TALK WHEN ITS DONE I CANT FLIP BACK AND FORTH DURING THIS ONE BOYS (gn)

THAT WAS SO GOOD

LUCIUS'S LITTLE DANCE, EVERYONE SINGING ALONG,

GAY SEX?!?!?!

AGAGAAHAH

omg they're shouting for an encore in the creditsaaa 🥺

and Archie and roach interact yay!!

wow. ok. so we were right about the gay sex hips!!!

wow. we were right about the gay sex hips....

on to episode seven. (I may die within the next 24 minutes.)

[imalonerdottie-arebel]

I'm miserably depressed and I had a horrible day at work and I have no friends. So fuck it, I'm going to post to my tumblr. I need an outlet. I work, come home at night, listen to music, smoke pot and browse my tumblr tags.

I used to LiveJournal all the time when I was a teenager. It actually got me in trouble at school with my schoolmates; there was a girl in the grade above me who had the same Good Charlotte shirt as me and I was complaining about it on lj, lol. I think she commented on the post and called me out for it. But of course I didn't learn my lesson and continued to post to livejournal publicly. Once a girl IMed me on AIM to tell me some people in the computer lab at school were reading my livejournal and talking shit about me. I was MORTIFIED. I should have been in therapy when I was like 14 but my home life was really really bad and a whole fucking story... so I still used LiveJournal, because it was an outlet and I didn't have a lot of friends and was seriously depressed. I mean obviously I wasn't talking shit about my schoolmates anymore, at least not publicly. I have always very much related to Harriet the Spy and I love that movie with all my heart. It was understandably one of my favorite movies when I was little, along with Matilda.

I grew up in a very small town with very small-minded people who told me my brother was a faggot and disgusting because he's gay and that he's going to hell. So.

I went to a wedding this summer and was sat at a table with really cool people who don't live in the same area as me. It made me realize I'm really fucking lonely.

Stream of consciousness, feeling sorry for myself I guess and still need therapy. Haha. I never truly grew out of my fangirl phase and I KNOW there are other old farts on tumblr geeking out over Louis Tomlinson like I am!! I'VE SEEN Y'ALL! Message me please and be my friend oh my god I need friends so badly. Therapy is expensive lol I can't afford it be my friend so I don't need therapy 😚

When I wasn't into Good Charlotte anymore I moved on to River Phoenix, and John Frusciante. Random, right? Wait, Pirates of the Caribbean was like my favorite movie in 2003; I asked for it for Christmas, got a VHS copy (we didn't have a DVD player!) and literally watched it every night for like a month. I had a short-lived obsession with Johnny Depp. This was twenty years ago people so we didn't know he was a piece of shit. I don't like him anymore; I remember thinking "Gee, I wonder what Johnny Depp is up to nowadays" in 2018 and googling like johnny depp interview or something, and found his very recent Rolling Stone article... yikes. I especially never liked him since then. Very incriminating.

Well anyway... um... I can't believe LiveJournal still exists, I've been lurking on tumblr since 2010 at least and I need friends. Please be my friend.

[thelovelybitten]

vera's first time watching south park -- season three (part 2)

i hate this character limit shit ugh but here u go <3

EPISODE 7:

lmao cartman just being a kid so cute

"BUT MEEEEEMM" never gets old

oh GOD SHELLY AS THE BABYSITTER this is about to be messy

OH FUCK SHE DECKED HIM INTO THE WALL

HOLY FUCK THEY IN THE WWE RN

NOT THE ULTRA WEDGIE

jesus CHRIST SHE JUST DOESN'T STOP

EYE. not the animal PORN GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE

CARTMAN BFFR U DON'T GIVE THAT MUCH CATNIP DSBFJKDSBKG

this man a pedophile... awks

jesus I can't with shelly she is BRUTAL

this song is...a choice.

I'm tryna feel bad for shelly but I can't

where the honk did all these cats come from

this cat subplot is so... weird I don't like it

okay. this ep was. a wild ride i'd say lol

EPISODE 8:

RANDY. JUST BC HE HANGS OUT WITH KYLE A WHOLE TON DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN'T BE BI OR SUMTH.... if they want to, they will. if the don't, they still besties. period.

BUTTERS' FIRST LINES <3 MY CHERISHED BABY BOY BJKSDFJBDSJBGDS HE IS HERE

pip kinda weird tho

what in tarnation is this game y'all

sharon pop AWF mom get KRUNK BITCH

the dads getting into the hot tub lmao

period gerald

these DADS I CAN'T DJBSFKJSDBGKB

gerald. just say ur into randy FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

this awk atmosphere YIKES

yo gerald WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY

oh wait this IS HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME AS LAST EP

cool ref

these people MAD WEIRD

STAN BEING AN ICON AS ALWAYS

wait WHAT THE FUCK THE DADS RLY DID THAT ??!?!?!?!??@?!/1/1? BE FUCKING FOR REALLLLL

RANDY ?!?2/2!?2?1

the PHOTO OF STAN FUCKING KILLS ME

randy and gerald got tension y'all...

BUTTERS HE'S A SWEET BOY SOBBING

oh god THIS SONG DOES SUCK

STAN AND BUTTERS :')

stan getting into the game werk

mr.mackey getting KRUNKKKKKK

randy in his homophobic era :/

GASP

"we all a little gay" SO TRUE BESTIE SO TRUE

NOT BUTTERS BEING DRAFTED AS SOON AS KYLE GOT THERE

style just reigns supreme ig

EPISODE 9:

IKE IN HIS LITTLE SUIT <3333333

this is also linked to the last two eps

SLAY KENNY

kenny listening so good meanwhile ike is having a MELTDOWN

I love the kyle/kenny dynamic it's so different but so refreshing

they could be bomb friends (but not as close as style)

IKE :"((((((

Kenny is just so cute

NOT KENNY GETTING THE BELL A BUNCH OF TIMES FKFBJDSSDKJBGJSB

kenny and kyle sfljbsajfbk they are hilarious

not the kid :(

Kenny sitting with his eyes open LMAO

KENNY MAKING HIS SOAP CARVING ON THE SPOT

NOT KENNY GET OUTTA HERE

kyle threw kenny under the bus little bitch

NO KENNY SDGBDSJBDSKBBK :(((((((((((

KENNY SAVE THE KIDS RN POP OFF MY SON

"SHIT." - KENNY MCCORMICK

the bears helping save the jew scouts w kenny and the squirts <3

GO KENNY GOOOOOOOO

NO KENNY'S DEAD :'(((((

oh my goD GOOD EP

EPISODE 10:

HALLOWEEN EPISODEEE

MY TRIO (stan, kyle, Kenny) those are my kids

okay but cartman is me tho

ayo KENNY WOULD WIN THE CONTEST DON'T DOUBT MY SON

is this a scooby doo reference? weird but okay ig

liane laughing at her own son LMAO

BRO WHAT NOT KYLE'S GRANDMA :'((((((

Y'ALL SICK FOR THIS

I feel so bad for kyle oh my god :'(

god the literal trauma kyle would go through for this

that's on god kyle we show respect in this house

NO NOT THE DOG EATING KYLE'S GRANDMA

what THE HELL CARTMAN NO

KYLE AND STAN <3 their costumes are so cute WHAT

SHERIFF STANLEY AND THE KYLE CLOWN AFJLDNSNKSJDG

YO KENNY'S ROBOT COSTUME ATE DOWN WHAT THE FUCK

real question: what money did kenny use to get this costume

sir u have money for maybe a pack of gum bffr

anyways

I'm ignoring this pirate ghost storyline/necrophilia storyline :/ it's weird

NOT STAN AND KYLE DON'T HURT THEM

excuse me...what

OH GOD NOT KYLE'S GRANDMA BE VOMITED BACK UP

the seizure warning was not mentioned OWCH

wenSLAY EATING THE COSTUME CONTEST AGAIN... SHE DOESN'T MISS EVER

EPISODE 11:

what in the pokemon ripoff is this

"but MEEEEEM"

DON'T STEAL FROM KENNY CARTMAN

no KYLE he's gonna be called OUT

GERALD KINDA ATE

no bc I don't think kyle's gonna keep up with the fads tbh

and here we go

no kyle resist

NO NOT KENNY GETTING A SEIZURE

god I feel for kyle so much

kyle, baby boy, ur doing great

why they FACES LIKE THAT STOP

WENDY ALSO IN ON THIS OMG SHE'S SO CUTE

WHAT.

oh lord this is a dumpster fire

cringe

DAMN STAN IS LOST

they ALL LOST

parents ate

kyle babe HAHAHA

DEAD "YET" PLEASE

nah this was the worst kenny death I almost vomitted

EPISODE 12:

A SPELLING BEE? interesting

I was good at the spelling bee in grade 4 fun fact

liane she's so CUTE

"what's a homeschooled kid?" kyle PLEASE

ate down y'all are fucked now

cartman: :D

KYLE FINAL 3 LET'S GO KIDDO

what the FUCK IS THIS WORD

"what's your name?" "what's in a name?" kyle's whipped for rebecca

KYLE OMG A KING

it's two nerds in love :')

he tried his best

NOT THE BUBBLE

Y'ALL EVERYONE BE LOOKING AT HAMSTER BALL MARK ODDLY BUT CRAIG IS FUCKING PISSED OFF LNDFNDLSNGL

craig: stupid hamster looking ass i'mma smash you like a lawbreaker typa beat

now they ALL MAD

the kids are unhinged but they my kids

kyle singing outside rebecca's window that's fucking cute as shit bro

rebecca: :|

kyle wanting to ask rebecca to the school dance PLEASE SAY STAN IS INVITING WENDY PLEASE

KYLE AND REBECCA ARE QUITE CUTE OKAY PLS

SHE JUST GRABS HIM

KYLE AND REBECCA ARE PLAYING DOCTOR AWE

KYLE U GONNA GET UR BRAIN CUT OUT BOY

KYLE HAD THAT RIZZ but rebecca is brain dead, it's OKAY MY BOY

shit this monkey killed my son

I'M CRYING KYLE AND REBECCA ARE SO CUTE

OH MY GOD THEY GONNA KISS FDBDFSJKBSDGBKGFSBKGDSS

STOP THEYYYYYYYY OH MY GOD FDSKJBGKJSDBBGKB this is so cute it's cavity inducing

kyle being the cutest to rebecca but stan FORGETTING WENDY ???? SO FUCKING WEIRD STAN stop beating on kyle for his little crush

YO WHAT THE FRESH HELL REBECCA ??? she's a child hooker ???? kyle is screaming into his pillow

not kyle getting the shit beat outta him

NOW Y'ALL WANNA BE TEAM MARK ??? VERY WEIRD

this ep was funny okay I'll admit

EPISODE 13:

omg STARVIN' MARVIN' IS BACK LET'S GOOOOOO <3

future viv note: my notes on this episode did not save but it was very good tbh, marklar.

also the star wars refs were funny too

kyle also slayed

EPISODE 14:

also rewatching bc notes did not save

OH RIGHT THE WAR REENACTMENT

style vs cartman

SMORE'S SCHNAPPS

adults drunk af

MESSENGER BUTTERS <3

"PROSPERITAH" "CONFEDERITAH" "AUTHORITAH"

"GIVE UP, FATASS THERE'S OVER 100 NATIONAL GUARD GUYS HERE"

"SUCK MY ASS" LMAO

STYLE SLAYED

[asherasgayagenda]

you got it pretty close!! there's actually lots of different versions of link (and zelda. and ganon.) because reincarnation and plot stuff, link was raised by a tree in one game, shiek only exists in one game but zelda also has another alter ego (not really but idk what else to call it) a pirate called tetra and she's so cool!! ganon(dorf) is the main villain throughout the series but there are also other villains specific to certain games like ghirahim (gayass murder twink who is also a sword) and zant (idk what he is but he evokes a sense of cosmic horror in me)

dungeons are the main gameplay of most of the games with the exception of breath of the wild, but there's no super hard ones you use game code to break that was just something I dreamed about lol

anyway I love zelda so much it's been my biggest interest since I was like 11 but I'll leave it here for now 🙏

I KNEW IT!!! THEY ALL FLUCTUATE BETWEEN DIFFERENT VERSIONS and I can never pin down who’s from which who?!!??

actually was not expecting dungeons to be the main thing I just thought it was like. A challenge part or something (also teasing at your dream LMAO)

ghirahim. huh. intriguing guy. (you saying gayass reminds me of nearly writing “this gay named ganon” is the original post oh my god) and zant sounds super cool I don’t know who he is neither

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Okay, here's my essay on why Stardust (2007) is actually the greatest movie ever made:

First of all, Yvaine and Tristan are the ultimate straight couple. Just look at them! They're so cute and amazing. Yvaine literally shines whenever she's with him, how is that not the cutest thing ever. It makes me want to cry every time I think about it. Imagine the love of your life shining every time theyre with you because they love you so much. They love being around you and you make them so happy. Oh my god. And how she helps Tristan realise that Victoria isn't for him and doesn't actually love him back. And how he shouldn't have to prove his love or give her something to achieve it. Because that's not true love. And how Tristan would do anything for Yvaine. Literally the greatest canon couple in cinema and no, you can't change my mind on this

Second of all, the adventure!!! This movie has so many different fun things. We got stars, magic, princes fighting for the throne, ghosts, pirates in the sky! And it all works so well. It doesn't feel like too much. It works and keeps the pace constantly so much fun and interesting.

Third of all, gay Robert de Niro.

Fourth of all, the scene where Tristan is a mouse and Yvaine talks about love is better than anything else ever put to film. It's the sweetest thing ever and the line about how, despite all the horrible things in the world, Yvaine kept looking at the world because of the way humanity loves. How despite all the war and hate and abuse, at the end of the day there is still love. And it is beautiful.

What I also appreciate is that there is so much about love in Stardust, but it's not just about romantic love. It's the main focus, but there's also friendship with Captain Shakespeare and Yvaine and Tristan. There's family love with Tristan and his mother. It just <3

Fifth of all, Tristan and Yvaine saying that "isn't it just better to be yourself?" to captain Shakespeare. Tristan and Yvaine said queer rights and Stormhold is lgbt friendly. I said it. Some of their kids and grandkids are queer. They have a lesbian daughter. Shut up, I'm not projecting, I'm just stating facts.

Sixth of all, love defeating all evil is the greatest trope to ever exist and I think all movies should end with that actually.

Seventh of all, Tristan having to sword fight a dead Septimus because his dead body is being controlled by one of the witches. I mean, come on. How is that not the coolest thing ever. Especially with the way Septimus moves because his limbs are all broken and he's literally dead. It's such a cool idea and is visually so interesting.

Eigth of all, Tristan's character development! The fact that he initially kept getting beat up and by the end learned how to fight not only for himself but for others.

(And then he became Daredevil. The Charlie Cox fighting people cinematic universe.)

And how Tristan came to slowly realise that Victoria isn't the one for him. In love w his character development actually

Ninth of all, the costumes? Hello? Everyone looks so amazing in this movie. I hope the costume designer got every award ever for this.

Tenth of all, you could argue those two were the enemies to lovers trope!

Eleventh of all, okay I'm kinda running out of like legitimate points that isn't just me gushing about every scene in this movie. Overall, it's just a really good and really fun and really sweet fairytale movie. It's one of my favourite movies ever. I have on several occasions called it the best movie ever. Its my ultimate comfort film and it has never failed to cheer me up. I watched it a lot as a kid and I still watch it a lot now. I highly recommend it if you've never seen it and are interested. It really is a very good movie and I adore it. I will gladly talk about it all the time.

Rewatched Stardust (2007) again. Who wants an essay from me on why this is the greatest movie ever made?

[prettyboypistol]

Stardew Valley Bachelors x Male Reader Relationship Headcanons

Harvey

Super Shy Gay(TM)

I dont CARE if you're married he ASKS TO HOLD YOUR HAND

Kiss him. Kiss him in public. Do it.

If you call him gay he'll get flustered

Can't cook for shit but tries his best. yes, the smoke alarms are going off because he tried to cook bacon.

Harvey is one of those anxious boyfriends that asks you to text him that you made it to a place safe.

"Drive safe, I love you"/"Dear it's been 10 minutes since the ETA are you alright?" hella ass

probably forgets your anniversary ONCE, but then never again when you tell him you were upset.

Elliot

you know the men that forget your anniversary? NOT ANYMORE

you randomly come home to roses all the time.

"Oh hello my love i am writing a book about homosexual pirates wear this to immerse me please"

probably hides gifts around the house with little notes

bad at confrontation but will eventually talk to you about things that bother him like a week of letting it fester.

"BABY CAN WE PLEASE GO TO THE RENAISSANCE FAIR"

Dramatic ass bitch on GOD

probably likes to be choked

Shane

Calls you gay slurs affectionately and expects the same energy back at him.

He can cook like, 2 meal.

Remembers every little anniversary but is embarrassed about it. He remembers the first time you kissed, the first time you said i love you, etc.

Biggest cuddlebug known to man

Feels bad that you're the main breadwinner so he begs to take care of the chickens on your farm.

You WILL find Shane asleep with a baby chick in his arms sometimes i'm sorry homie

Confrontational af, if something happens that he isn't okay with he'll bring it up as soon as situationally possible in a kind way.

Sam

writes you love songs

he's a bit of a messy partner, but if you mention the mess it'll be spotless for like, 3 weeks.

if you get in a fight he'll brood outside with his guitar for a little, but will always get into bed with you at the end of the day happily.

loves surprises and surprising

he's all great when it's casual flirting, but as soon as you two start seriously flirting he gets all flustered.

bi-curious, you're probably the first man he's dated but not the first man he's kissed.

loves to binge TV shows with you

Sebastian

pan ICON

he thinks you're too cool for him, but he is grateful that you enthusiastically love him

calls you a hillbilly if you call him emo

if you ask about a project he's working on he WILL talk for hours

Falls asleep at his desk a lot, but appreciates when you carry him to bed

he loves when you talk to him "while he's sleeping"

Lets you ride with him to TechCons or Comicons, loves going as couple characters

you get invited to the Dungeons and Dragons campaign

likes calling you his boyfriend

Alex

picks you up and does reps with you to flirt

he loves touching your body after a long day of farming, the tan fascinates him.

a surprisingly great cook, always knows what you wanna eat without asking.

has never even looked at a man before you came along, so he's kinda awkward about serious romantic things

bad at confrontation, but great at supporting you

he calls you very masculine things like "superman" or "my man" a lot

Defends Dusty when he steals your spot on the bed, but offers his chest as a substitute.