#like fuck you loooool

[mjfass]

Wait, there are still people who discredit Moxley as a wrestling because “he bleeds too much”? This type of people still exist?

[heartorbit]

the star you've longed for

[rainartcloud]

Does anyone fw burnt jason

[yakamozarda]

Ughgughgutyyhhhhh i dont wanna shave but it is too hot and i started to feel self conscious about my body hair again. But I don't wannaaaa

[britneyshakespeare]

i went to a galentine's party at my brother and sister-in-law's house tonight. and by galentine's that is to say that my sister-in-law was hosting and there were other women invited and my brother had a few friends of his own in the basement. it was really not that many ppl actually; at the height of it there were 8 adults and 3 children (two of them infants) in the whole place. but. my brother had a friend there i had never met and. i actually don't look that much like my brother jon. the guy asked me and kaily what town we were from and i was like "oh do people not always realize i'm his little sister"

[twpsyn-who]

Can we normalize NOT touching people, especially the ones you don't know??? PLEASE

[safehaven3d]

can't my fucking acv/b12 pills come any fucking sooner??? rlly off predictions in shipping time needs to be prosecuted im not kidding

[confetti-critter]

What do I want exactly when I can't get off my computer or phone even though there's nothing to do on it?

[doctorjennifermelfi]

i’ve been complaining about my job so much that it must have had some kind of monkey’s paw effect and now a team of 25 is being whittled down to 11 and absorbed by another company

[mangocheesecakes]

i could murder my teacher right now she's the fucking worst GOD

[thoushaltnotlive]

Nah, I bet they fucking fished the candy barsout of the trash (it was individually wrapped i think), there is no way Neil 'stingy' Josten and Andrew 'sweet-tooth' Minyard wasted any salvageable candy.

Jean was more horrified by the state of Andrew and Neils dorm and the fridge than by his own trauma

[cuntservant]

so paramore are apparently the first female-fronted band to Ever win best rock album at the grammys and it's just fucking sad that people's reaction to this information is "they did that!!!" like as if it's because paramore genuinely *are* the first female-fronted band in the whatever amount of decades to actually Make An Album Deserving Of This Award. like surely you understand this is not the case. and paramore didn't get it because they're "objectively" "better" than the ones that came before. they got it because the academy just simply didn't give it to female-fronted bands before loooool. so anyway. again. paramore slayed but all awards shows are a joke and can't be taken seriously

[saintzweig]

genuinely think pregnancy and a breeding kink for art, like it like ties them together FOREVER ooo he'd love that. also patrick is def into like obv power play and i think he would be really into the amazon position loooool. im a patrick switch truther so. also patrick and public sex. also i agree with the piss control thing i think he's just into bodily fluids in general lol

BREEDING KINK I AGREE dilf art would absolutely be obsessed with the idea of making you his forever, not in a 'you can't run away from me' kinda way but more like 'i'll do everything for you, i'll take care of you for the rest of my life' he'd just be the sweetest and gentlest, taking his time and having your body so close to him so he can reach your womb. filling you completely and staying still so the chances of you getting pregnant will be higher.

.... younger art however, would absolutely (secretly) be into forced breeding as the sub. absolutely melting when you wrap your legs around him to keep him from pulling out, forcing him to spill inside you while he babbles 'no i can't, i gotta pull out. i'm not wearing a cond– oh fuck, fuck i'm gonna cum. please i need to–' he would never admit it but he finds the idea of you baby trapping him so hot.

power play with switch patrick oooohohkgkhkh i think it would work both ways. patrick as a dom would be so so mean, his tone is gentle but demeaning. he'd sit back and just stare at you, you'd have no idea what to do and just kind of try your best to make him feel good. staring up at him with wide eyes, nervous and confused. he's not even saying anything yet you're shaking. 'you know what to do, sweetheart. come on, show me what you've learned so far.' 'ah ah, that's not right, is it? try that again' he just keeps riling you up until you snap, going rough on him until he's gasping in immense pleasure. 'f-fuck, i'm sorry angel. i didn't mean to–' he tries holding your hips to slow you down but you only slap his hands away. 'you gotta slow down– i can't, i'll– fuck, you're gonna make me cum' overstimulation too of course.... getting your revenge by making him cum over and over again until he's crying :3

public sex is so :o i have a feeling he'd love going out of late night drives, pulling over in the middle of nowhere and fucking you from behind while you're bent over the driver's seat. also pulling you inside a changing room while you're shopping for clothes just to eat you out.. the possibility of getting caught gets him painfully hard in his jeans that he's palming himself while on his knees. he'd walk out of there with a smirk, wiping his chin while you follow him from behind with your shirt untucked and hair messy.

[s-4pphics]

hi i’m ill and had a dream ab ellie in cat ears so i wrote it its torture fr LOOOOOL its something quick fr i just miss writing ab sex :( might make it a lil series but i dont have a title idk okie bye

based off this

wc;cw: 1.3k, subpetplayer!ellie, dom!oc, SMUT MDNI, head, squirting, dirty talk, ellies so fucking cute and in love, happy gay bitches ew🙄

“El?”

“Mhm?”

“… Wanna roleplay?”

Your girlfriend choked on her 7/11 slushee, sitting up from where you two were snuggled together on the couch while the TV played. Your hand clapped on her back, and she turned to face you, her cheeks already tinting a deep red.

“… Huh?”

She stared at you in shock, her wet lips agape and her eyes glimmering under the dim decorative lamp. A slimy grin crawled onto your face.

“Wanna roleplay?” You repeated, your voice lower.

Her shoulders rose up and down with each recovered breath, her eyes nervously flicking around the room.

“Like… like in GTA?”

You snorted and shook your head.

“I think you know what I mean.”

“No,” she squealed, “I don’t—“

“You’d make such a cute little kitty,” you cooed, your hand coming up to play with her earlobe. She shuddered and subtly leaned into your touch before her eyes doubled in size at your amused expression.

“Oh?”

“I-I’m—“

“What if I told you I made an impulsive purchase a couple weeks ago,” You smirked.

“No the fuck you didn’t—“

“I did. Amazon coupon,” you snickered.

“… I fucking hate you.”

You pinched the plush skin of her ear and she flinched.

“Cats don’t fucking talk.”

Her body shook when your hand squeezed her cheeks together, her lids fluttering when you leaned forward to peck her nose and warm cheeks. You gave her a peck on her lips before licking her bottom one, and she hummed softly, inching closer for another.

“You know what to do?”

She nodded so fast, her nose bumped yours.

“Go on then. Top drawer.”

She shook her head with a whine; She wanted another kiss. You dug your nails into her face and she moaned aloud.

“Do what I say.”

You released her and she rose to run down the hallway. You grinned and kicked your feet up on the coffee table, snagging a few more Lifesavers from the bag and shoved them in your mouth.

This was your favorite part of the movie; Edmond’s about to get kidnapped by the white witch!

Fifteen minutes passed when you finally entered your shared bedroom, and your heart pounded at the sight in front of you.

Ellie was on her knees in front of the bed, hands folded in her lap, only in her running shorts and the fluffy, pink and black kitty ears that were littered with bows and glitter, the crumpled Amazon package that it came in was tossed near the window.

Her back arched when she heard the door slammed behind you; You could almost envision her pretty ears flinching at the ruckus.

You circled her like a lioness, “Look at you. The prettiest.”

You took a seat in front of her and she sighed, staring past you and through the wall. Her hands squeezed together.

“You can look at me, hun.”

She relaxed at your comforting tone, finally meeting your eyes at your word.

“Kitty’s been so fucking good today,” you praised, “Did everything I asked. The best girl.”

You massaged her scalp and she nuzzled up into your touch, following your hand wherever it traveled on her head. Her eyes were pleading and watery — desperate. So trusting and ready to give you anything you desired.

“Think kitty deserves a treat. Is baby hungry?” She nodded imploringly, her head falling onto your thigh to nestle it.

“Go ahead. Take what’s yours,” you encouraged gently with a nod.

She practically tore your panties to shreds, the fabric dangling off your legs. She ogled you like she was dehydrated and your cunt was fresh lake water, harsh breaths leaving her mouth, but she didn’t move. She whimpered and begged some more, rubbing her face all over your leg. You laughed, and she sobbed.

Her legs were squeezing together, trying to stimulate anywhere she could. She needed to get off with you.

“C’mon, babygirl,” You leaned back and propped your legs open, your pussy on full display for your girlfriend. She wrapped her arms around your thighs and yanked you closer, diving face-first into your pussy.

Delighted laughs molded with your moans with every swipe of her tongue on your clit, your hands rubbing her head and scratching her shoulder. She slurped and sucked all over your pussy, her tongue dragging up after she fucked it inside you.

Curses and gasps left your mouth, your legs instinctively closing around her head before she forced them open. Her tongue flicked over your bud perfectly, desperately drinking all your slick.

Nasty sounds of her tongue on and in your cunt disrupted the peace of your quaint space. Your hands left her to rub and yank at your tits. She moaned into your pussy while she watched you touch yourself, her arm falling between her own legs to rub down on her wrist.

Her licks on your cunt slowed with every grind into her hand, and you paused.

You scoffed when you looked down and saw her humping her own arm like a dog, her drool coating your hip as she cried in satisfaction.

“Ellie.”

A loud whine left her mouth, her bounces increasing in pace. You gripped her hair tightly and pulled her head up, her dazed eyes blinking slowly with affection. She loves you so much.

“You get your reward and this is how you act? Didn’t even ask me t’cum.”

She could only stare in complete adoration, her vision cloudy and hyper fixated on you. She needs you. Needs your cunt on her fucking face.

“Gotta take care of myself, huh? That’s how it is?” You snarked.

Tears filled Ellie’s eyes at the insinuation; She loves you! She messed up! She won’t do it again!

“Put your hands behind your back,” you scolded and her lip quivered.

Her wrists crossed at the end of her spine, and your hand came down to spread your sticky lips apart. You scooped some slick at your entrance.

“Open.”

Ellie’s lips parted, and you shoved two wet digits in her mouth. She hummed and sucked them diligently, her tongue swirling around to gather every drop.

“Uh huh. Savor that. You’re not getting anymore.”

Her expression downcasted. Her fluffy ears almost flattened atop her head.

“Don’t pout,” You pulled out of her mouth, “I gave you a chance. Sit there and watch me.”

Your fingers returned to your clenching entrance, slowly pushing inside, your walls slowly swallowing around them to pull them deeper. You and Ellie moaned in unison, the two of you watching how you stretched around your digits.

“Yeah? Kitty likes that?” You exhaled shakily and Ellie licked your thigh. You sighed happily.

“Was so fuckin’ close but you had to show out,” You spat quietly, your fingers massaging the squishy walls of your pussy, “Gonna fuck you up so good after I cum, fuck.”

Ellie was panting against your bare skin, hot and sweaty with her eyes glued to your pussy. You fucked yourself harder, arching your fingers to nudge that perfect spot, grinding them deep inside you. Wet sounds rang from your cunt and against the walls, heat building in the pit of your stomach at an alarming pace.

Ellie got closer to your pussy, her heavy breaths hitting your throbbing clit. You couldn’t bring yourself to push her away like you normally would, the intensity of your climbing orgasm overtaking your mind.

“Gonna make you suck my cum out these fucking sheets. Nasty bitch,” Ellie moaned right above your cunt, eager for your juices to drench her face completely. You’re right there, she can tell. You just need a little more, fuck fuck fuck, she needs this—

Kitty wants your cum, mommy? Please?

A sharp gasp left your lips and your eyes rolled into your skull. You barely felt Ellie’s lips wrap around your clit in a hard suction, your juices splashing against her chin and tongue and cheeks. She helped you ride it out in her mouth, her arms holding your bucking hips down on the bed. She keened at your gasped praises of goodkittygoodkittyfuck.

She eased you back into your body, her sucks easing into gentle licks on your bud. You promised yourself you’d get her for disobeying later; You’re fucking tired.

Some time passed as you wallowed in your bliss before a grin grew on your face.

“C’mere, baby.”

Ellie climbed onto the bed and on top of you, straddling your waist and leaning down for a peck. She pulled back when that mischief from earlier resurfaced in your eyes.

“I didn’t even get to show you the tail.”

Ellie shuddered against you; She silently prayed for you to get her a collar next.

[soupandflowers]

i love EVERYONE HERE their asses can NOT get along

just france and england fighting like fucking cats and then being exhausted afterwards, and america showing a concern look and then pressing his hand on his forehead.

like literally "come on, you guys are older than me, not this shit again?" look on his face. HE'S SOOO DISAPPOINTED IN HIS DADS

and to top it all off we just have russia looking curiously in both scenes and just china being just SO happy to be there and is smiling and is so pretty and smug and im wgahsghwhshw HE'S SO PRETTY, but they're both just literally observing the chaos of the three

im conclusion: THEY'RE SOOOOOOOO DRAAAAMAAAAATIC

also ivan's face here loooool

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 7

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

A new day a new chapter! Today we get into the Water Prison. The real question: will Shen Qingqiu actually make it out?

No Charlie pics today, I have been abandoned at my reading/writing station, but I do have tea! Tea today is a blueberry jasmine.

Let's get into it!!!!

What the fuck?! Is this an acid lake? p89

Dang it really is crazy how after two accusations with zero evidence or proof that Shen Qingqiu actually did anything, he get's locked up in maximum security prison. p89

Right now I'm having war flashbacks from MDZS -> another protagonist out here doing their best with the rest of the world just making shit up about them for fun. RE: Little Palace mistress and her delusions of what SQQ did. She literally even says- he didnt say you did anything but I have a vibe. Like what? p91

We are gathered here today to all witness how Shen Qingqiu is once again refusing to acknowledge that he is indeed the Love Interest. Honestly, does anyone ever tell him? I live for the day the system changes his classification from villain to Love interest and actually tells him this. Idk if it happens, but now I need it to happen. Re: "what fit even less was the fact, in the original work, the Little Palace Mistress's refined iron whip had only been used for attacking love rivals" p93

Luo Binghe to the rescue!! p94 just catching that whip

Okay but when SQQ states that something is wrong with the script- is he actually on the path to understanding? or still clueless? I hope he sort of realizes what's happening, because dang this guy has 0 idea Luo Binghe would kill for him p95

OOP. "There is no need for Shizun to be so wary. If I wished to do something to you, I wouldn't need to touch you at all" p96

Re: point above about "is he understanding?" *deep sigh * SQQ has not learned at all and refuses to actively listen. He is still trying to follow the old script p.97. Okay but I do love how this guy is accidentally getting himself (in a weird way) romanced.

I honestly am pretty sure this is a dating sim XD "*to the system* Do you think we're playing a dating sim?!" p99

omg torture via demon blood is horrible. Like this is a worst nightmare, having little bugs in your organs NO THANKS. p101

I'm crying LOOOOOL two options; 1. the fake jade guanyin. 2. [Activate Small Scene Pusher] and gets his CLOTHES ripped off. Bro is now the lead in a period bodice ripper XD p102

*face palm* "Does it just take advantage of Luo Binghe's physiological disgust upon seeing a man's half-naked body?" p104. no my man, it is not disgust

oh no, giving him his outer robe made it more scandalous p104

RIP confirmed that that is the previous canon's sex robe p106

literally everyone has a feeling about what's up. Gongyi Xiao is eyeing SQQ, see's the robe and does indeed assume things about SQQ and Luo Binghe. How stupid is SQQ??? p107

Re: the note from Shang Qinghua to SQQ. Shang Qinghua is also an idiot, this guy had 1 job and that was to not fuck up the mushrooms. he goofed this exponentially. RIP those mushrooms. p109

Welp. Gongyi Xiao is realizing that Luo BInghe may not be as pure of heart as he thought p112

it's so much worse though- he really thinks that Luo Binghe assaulted SQQ and is now helping SQQ escape. p113

meanwhile SQQ is living in his own universe LOL no idea these are the assumptions. Also, IDK what's going to happen when Luo Binghe inevitably see's SQQ in Gongyi Xiao's robe. RIP GYX p115

Okay but SQQ I too would freak the fuck out if I had a walking/wake dream. Meng Mo's realm is no joke. p120-121

Dang Luo Binghe has become so strong. This dreamscape is insane. pp 124-126

again with the clothes ripping. I hope one day they enjoy this consensually. p127 (blessed be this canon for the fanfics)

in which SQQ does not realize that the fight in the dreamscape is indeed not a fight- it is most definitely foreplay. p128

I fucking KNEW IT Luo Binghe was NOT pleased with SQQ wearing Gongyi Xiao's robe. LOOOL. p130

but also I don't know what became of GYX but let's take a moment to remember him, I am sure he did not make it.

oh gosh more tragic SQQ backstory :( p132

I am glad I clocked it in the last chapter. Something was so fishy about the family that took him in and his "betrothal" my heart for SQQ :( :( :( p134

Okay get it Ning YinYing!!!! Re: her talking shit to and about Little Palace Mistress to her face! p138

yes she got slapped but still she did a pretty good job! and her sect siblings have her back.

That is it for today!!

Oh god. ofc we leave on a cliffhanger with a shady guy ready to super saiyan AND the next chapter is ominously titled "Death". I am not prepared for this!