#like fr! i have spent my whole life just being like. something is wrong with me. and it makes a little more sense the more answers i find

[anj3llyf1sh]

jjk boyfriend/girlfriend headcanons pt. 1

top. warnings: none, just fluffy goodness

a/n: my first headcanons!! no warnings, just fluff and silly little thoughts

yuuji

the type of love that makes his friends sick to their damn stomachs

hates when people infringe on his "y/n time" which could be anything from you being away on a mission for a few days to he literally only went to use the bathroom

one time, nobara conned you into going shopping with her and you forgot to tell yuuji and he was gnawing on the bars of his enclosure fr

don't get it twisted, he trusts you with his whole soul and isn't controlling or anything, he's just clingy :((

needs to have a hand on you at all times to just reassure himself that you're real and still here

plays with your fingers a lot while he spaces out or talks to his friends

doesn't care if you're literally just going one room over, he expects a goodbye and hello kiss every single time, and will pout if he doesn't get it

this boy remembers everything about you istg he's like a memory bank

he absolutely has a note on his phone that's just a list of your favourites

colour, food, things he's noticed make you smile, etc.

the type to buy you small trinkets from everywhere he goes just because it's your favourite colour/animal/it just reminded him of you

you have a lot of surprisingly soft moments with yuuji

lots of time is spent with his head on your chest and you running your fingers along his scalp in silence, it helps with his headaches

he often falls asleep after this, just because it relaxes him so much

the more fingers he eats, the worse his headaches get because sukuna gets harder and harder to ignore

loves going places with you

literally everything will be exciting to him

a market, a fast food place, a park

no matter how mundane, he'll have the time of his life, just because he's there with you

his favourite dates are the arcade and the movie theater ofc! (you're the only one who'd watch those god-forsaken worm movies with him)

megumi

megumi takes a whileeee to warm up to you

it's not that he hates you, he just doesn't understand why you insist on being so kind to him

kinda suspicious of you at first ngl

like you're so nice to him... why... what do you want...

but will slowly come to enjoy your presence

he's kinda like a cat

sometimes he just follows you around in silence because he wants to watch what you're doing

if you're cooking or doing some schoolwork and get something wrong, he'll point it out but other than that, he just wants to bask in your presence

on a similar note, he's the type to swing his hand close to yours when walking next to you to get you to hold his hand

or stand right next to you in the elevator, letting your shoulders brush because it's "crowded" (it's not)

behind closed doors however, he's more open

loves to put his chin on your shoulder to talk to you or throw his legs over yours on the couch

doesn't say "i love you" a lot but makes sure to let you know by taking care of you

like, by the time you realize you have a cold, he's walking through your door with cough medicine and hot soup

is so cute too, asks yuuji for a good recipes to make for you

will summon some of his animals to let you pet them

the dogs love you

so do the rabbits

nobara

had such a staring problem

because she refused to confess first

she desperately wanted a shoujo manga confession

you thought she hated you tbh

you confronted her one night when neither of you could sleep and she was able to turn it into the fairytale confession she'd always hoped for

shopping dates every week, they're not negotiable

please please please let her dress you up in whatever cute things she finds

she runs the show for sureeee

she's not controlling, no, she just wants everything to be perfect for you two

and so she'd much rather plan the dates, to make sure every detail is justttt right

creates whole pinterest boards for every date

loves getting you things but is always secretly nervous that you won't like it even though she has more info on you than your cia agent

desperately wants affection but overthinks it

she wants to know that you want to be affectionate with her without her having to tell you

revisiting this staring problem, she will try to send you telepathic messages to you to kiss her or hold her hand, but she just ends up staring at you like 👁️👄👁️

it's so obvious too like

"Gojo-sensei!!!! Kugisaki's doing the weird eye thing again!!" - yuuji's last words before being beaten to death with a hammer

tries to make you gifts because they feel more special

once she tried one of those little stuffed animal crochet kits and ended up crying on the floor of her dorm room while yuuji finished it for her because she couldn't get the face right

always has to be touching you in some way

whether its her arm around your shoulder, fixing your hair, pr sitting so close your legs brush, she just needs to be within arms reach

loves having girls nights, facemasks, snacks and a movie and lotsss of snuggling

always complains she can't sleep without you when she's away, to the point where yuuji will beg gojo to go back to the school and get you (and sometimes it's bad enough that he does exactly that)

gojo

umm... kinda shit partner tbh

to start at least!!

whether you ask him out or the other way around, he says yes.. just because

i mean he wouldn't have said yes if he didn't find you attractive but still

i feel like he's so used to constant overstimulation, he says yes to the anything that surprise or excite him

he doesn't really think long term and is quite selfish

he, pretty slowly realizes that he genuinely likes being around you

sucks at communication, will unintentionally ghost you for hours or days at a time if he's away on a mission

and that almost cost him the relationship, which is something he'll always be sorry for

unfortunately, losing you was exactly what he needed to realize how important you were to him

slowly starts letting his guard down, allowing himself to bask in your attention and vice versa

loves to annoy the shit out of you

dries his hands by rubbing them on your shirt

presses a grossly wet kiss to your cheek

steals your fries

tickles you until you're in tears

anything to hear you huff and whine at him

huge fan of being the little spoon, head on your chest every night no ifs, ands or buts

he's away often and will throw a tantrum if you take his "only luxury in life" away from him

once he's down bad, he'll let you drag him anywhere, to a shitty movie, this one cafe you've always wanted to go to, you name it, he's going there with you asap

every so often, he'll get serious with you

like when he wakes up before you and just traces your face with his finger, memorizing every feature

he'll watch you do the most mundane things with his head propped up on his hand, love pouringggg from his eyes

always, always, always brings you gifts from his travels

and on the rare occasion that he's too busy to get gifts, he'll immediately return there after dropping the kids off to get you something

or... just takes you there the next time he gets a vacation day

no matter how much he grows as a partner, this man loves seeing you upset

there's just something about it...

but that's for another post <3

[velvetures]

Hi!!! I saw your post about taking some requests so I thought that I'll give it a shot. If it's possible, could you maybe do a Captain Price one? I haven't seen a story about him yet on your page, so I hope that this request can finally add one to your masterlist.

So here it goes: A Price x virgin!reader one. I feel like he's the type of guy to be really gentle and slow when he realizes that the reader is inexperienced, mostly due to his calm and caring nature. But once they start to get comfy, he'll get kind of rough in some way? And aftercare, I just know that this man would be an expert at it. Would help in washing them up in a tub or even cooking them a meal after. I could see that he's also a sucker for cuddles and just being close to them in general.

So yeah, I really hope that you'll consider this request and possibly write something out of it. If not, that's totally okay!!

Side note: I just wanted to say that I love your stories and that it brings me comfort, too:))

I Knew, Sweetheart

A/N: I'm so sorry this is so fucking looonngg!! I just couldn't get it right and I ended up going for "better is more" in the hopes that it'll hide the god-awful writing. :( Anyways, please don't burn me at the stake. It's my first Price fic, and I've still not got his voice or character dialed in. Summary: Reader is Price's gf, and while they've been together for a little while... sex hasn't come up. Nor the fact that the reader is a virgin!. Reader goes about bringing it up a little unconventionally, and things progress. T/W: virgin!reader, fem-reader, NS/FW 18+ ONLY, p-in-v sex, fingering, unprotected sex (don't do that IRL), established relationship, a little bit of an age-difference?, cursing?, first-time anxiety?, aftercare, probably missed something else. proofreading is for people w/ friends of which I have none.

John Price set himself apart from most of the men that he often worked alongside when it came to matters of his personal life and the ways in which he operated. A lot of people would often make jokes, saying it was nothing more than his being an “old man” who couldn’t adjust to the newer ways of life. But fuck, he wasn’t that old when it came right down to it, and yes he liked going along with the traditional ways specifically when it came to relationships, at least when he had the chance to. He’d been a lot younger at one point, not seeing how detrimental his actions could’ve been affecting the women he associated with or spent a few hours in bed with just to leave without another word sent their way.

Captain Price knew he’d made many mistakes when the heart was involved. He threw away a lot of advice he’d been given growing up -some good and some bad- all because he thought he knew better or had enough intelligence to figure it out as he went. Much of that changed when he started realizing that he wasn’t fulfilled in the slightest. For a few years, he was bitter over the emptiness. Not understanding where it came from or how the fuck he could get rid of it. Unraveling layer after layer like a frayed pair of jeans, John kept questioning how he’d come so far just to be that alone. Praying his mistakes hadn’t destroyed his chances of finding a little sliver of humanity outside of his work to motivate him. Keep him sane in the most bitter of hours, and soft when everything and everyone else around him kept adding brick after brick into never-ending, emotionless walls.

Then you showed up out of nowhere, sitting on a barstool in one of the pubs he frequented when he had some time away from his work. Close to home and nowhere near busy enough to call a bar or club; John immediately thought you looked like you’d taken a wrong turn and wound up in an old man’s hangout. It took him a few hours of watching out of the corner of his eye to finally weigh the options of being shot down, or possibly making something out of a whole lot of nothing. His offering to buy you a drink led to taking a few puffs off of his cigar outside. From there he learned just about everything about you within the first few weeks of seeing you or calling here and there.

You liked to talk, a lot. Something John was thankful for since he developed a bad habit of just staring at your pretty face instead of listening like he knew too. Fuck it made him feel ten years younger. And that was something else that made your relationship feel unusual to the Captain. More than six years in age difference didn’t sound all that significant on paper. Yet it was more interesting than either of you thought it would be initially. Aside from just simple pop culture references and enjoyment of music and other low-stakes things, your lives were on different paces. John was stable… at least as stable as his work allowed for. While you’d finally got the job you’d been dreaming of, and hadn’t been working for a full year when you met him. Everything all together challenged John, and you as well, with figuring out what you wanted from each other. How you planned -or wanted to- go about making that happen. And if being serious was something that you shared an interest in.

A few months of going on dates and John walking you home was traded for him sharing half the dresser drawers in his bedroom with you. He was gone nearly all of the time, which put a damper on things but he liked having peace of mind that you were safe and in his home. Besides, it was a short drive from his house to your work and you could stop paying half your paychecks on rent and start saving it up for anything you really wanted. At least… anything John hadn’t already bought or given you. Well… there was one thing John hadn’t given you. And it began gnawing at your mind harder and harder every time he went away for a mission and came home without the slightest inclination to do more than give you a kiss.

John Price still hadn’t asked or hinted at wanting to have sex with you.

At first, you thought it was refreshing. Seeing a man old enough and patient to understand that sex wasn’t just given but earned. Yet every time you thought there would be a moment after a date or a ‘welcome home reunion’ where he’d finally bring up the topic, your expectations fell short. Plenty of excuses floated around your brain, including the more rational ones: he was just very respectful. While others were much more self-conscious and saddening: he was getting it somewhere else, or he could see that you weren’t experienced. The age-old struggle of being a virgin past the age of eighteen.

Too old for half the population, and far too young and inexperienced for the others. Sheltered didn’t describe you. You had toys and knew how to give head as well as having been on the receiving end. But going “all the way” eluded you by some miracle or curse. Looking at John in comparison to yourself was just as attractive as it was intimidating. You knew better than to think he didn’t know his way around the bedroom. He was just too smooth. Far beyond any man, you attempted a relationship previously. You wanted to think he respected you, but at the same time, waiting for much longer for him to make a move just felt like another eternity you lacked the patience and confidence to endure. So after a long night of overthinking and wondering how you could even go about bringing it up, you made a decision that when he got back home from his latest mission, you’d be the one to bring it up.

God your hands were sweating. He was supposed to have been home two hours ago and there was still no sign of his truck in the driveway or a single message from him on the phone you had gripped between your damp palms. Everything had been just fine all day, until the sun began to set over the hillside in the backyard, leaving you less than six hours away from John coming through the door. Worried didn’t even begin to explain how your stomach was tied in knots with a low burning fire in your throat. John had been nothing short of perfect -save for being gone so often- and you knew there wasn’t a single reason for you to be so overwhelmed at the mere thought of being an adult and asking him to have sex with you. Of course… You made up your mind to omit that you’d never done it before and just hoped the Captain would be too preoccupied with something else to notice.

Noticing the details quickly got turned around on you when the front door creaked open on its hinges and you hadn’t the slightest clue that John was standing halfway through the threshold with bags slung over his back and a small look of curiosity on his face. His pretty little thing, sitting on the couch with her arms wrapped around her bent knees and a deep stare somewhere far away from the both of them. He had to admit it wasn’t the first time he had caught you sitting with your eyes “comfortable” as you liked to call it; however, it was the first time he’d seen you wearing something quite that lacy for no damn good reason before.

Some kind of black, strappy, and frilly little number. It hardly left anything to the imagination, and John had to force himself not to go into deep thought about how you’d even got into the thing without instructions. It made your figure that much more eye-catching, and after staring at nothing but rain and mud for two weeks you were a sight for sore eyes. Even a Captain had to admit his biggest weaknesses to overcome himself and improve, but he wasn’t sure in that second if he could ever overcome -much less forget- how divine you looked. Honestly, he didn’t even know you owned it to begin with. But by the way, you kept spinning your phone in your hand, he had the vague gut feeling that you had something on your mind. A little more than dinner or fussing over the possible injuries he could’ve sustained while gone.

“Waiting on someone?” He asked lowly, trying his best not to startle you too much. Right away your eyes locked on his and widened. Almost like a little rabbit cornered by a fox and no hole to scurry into. He watched a flash of sudden panic overtake you and how quickly you reached for one of the throw blankets at the end of the couch to hide behind. Price chewed his tongue, forcing himself not to smirk at you at the moment. Wanting so badly to tease you a little bit for looking so sexy in that bodysuit, but acting nothing short of the little shy church girl getting kissed on the cheek for the first time.

“J-John,” Your voice sputters on his name a bit, forcing a smile to his face. He couldn’t help it after being away for this long without the chance to hear you even over the phone for a few minutes. “You’re home a little late.”

He nods, guilty. “Delayed flight. Weather kept us from movin’ out on time.”

Careful, he dropped his bags off at the front door without the slightest concern about how long they’d sit there. More important things were swirling around in his head. Trying to decipher if you were planning something and just backed out, or if you just needed a little bit of coaxing to not be so shy. Hostage negotiation wasn’t something he thought would ever come in handy when it came to interacting with you, yet John found himself rounding around the chairs on the other side of the living room from you, and planning each step he made to ensure he didn’t spook you. That lingerie wasn’t for nothing, and he desperately needed to know what you planned on doing with it.

He licked his lips, taking a steadying breath. “What’s under the blanket, sweetheart?”

You swallowed thickly, “N-nothing… I thought - I hoped it’d look nice,” Fumbling pathetically for an excuse, you finally spit one out all under the very soft and lightly amused eyes of one John Price. “It doesn’t fit.” The second it left your lips, you internally cursed yourself.

John’s eyebrows raised, instantly grabbing onto that loose thread and pulling on it. “I’m sure you’re wrong about that…” He came closer, standing just in front of you on the couch with his hands on his hips. “Come on, why don’t you let me have a look? I’ll give you a second opinion.” His words made your heart stutter, and you weakly shook your head in response.

“I should just return it.” You mutter, scooting over to the side of him and attempting to sneak off with your protective blanket.

You’re not even close to getting away from John when he chuckles, one arm curling around your shoulders and the other getting a firm grip on the material you’re hiding under. Naturally, you don’t exactly fight to get away. But a furious blush breaks out over your cheeks and neck, feeling the preverbal trap tightened around your throat. He’s turning around and sitting down on the couch with a nonnegotiable silent order for you to take a seat straddling his lap. That alone is enough to drive you up a wall with anxious feelings. Not that you’d never sat on his lap before -actually it was quite common- but under these circumstances, there was a lot more than just a little bit of heat passing between the both of you. Very slowly, John found the edge of the blanket and slipped a hand under, searching out for your skin and eventually landing on a little bit of the lacy material stretching in a high cut over your hip. You can actually see his eyes darken, tracing along the hemline and mentally picturing what was under his fingers. Touch alone was making you squirm, avoiding eye contact and trying to keep quiet so as not to embarrass yourself even more than you already felt.

“Oh, sweetheart… fits like a fuckin’ glove.” He whispers lowly, hand palming your asscheek and toying with the thin little string that disappeared into the cleft.

“It’d be a shame for you to get all dressed up… go through all this trouble… then not let me see your hard work.” His voice lulled slow and steady, swaying your fears just enough for you to feel your head nod up and down a couple of times before letting the blanket fall off your shoulders and pool on Price’s lap. The front of the bodysuit had been well-hidden up until now, with you sitting so lady-like in his lap. But the thin straps just crossing around your tits and holding them up without a single stitch of material covering them totally, John thought he’d been shot right through the chest. Between the innocent look in your eyes, and that damned outfit making you appear about as sinful as hell, he couldn’t keep from letting out a low growl and squeezing your ass just hard enough to make you gasp.

“This is what you were trying to hide?” His breathlessness couldn’t be masked, nor could the frequent shift in his eyes between your practically bare chest and eyes. John chuckled, hands drifting towards your hips and up to rest on each side of your ribs. Pushing your tits together just a little bit, almost bewitched by the sight of you like that on his lap. “Oh, you’re such a pretty girl…” He muttered, almost to himself.

Shifting in his lap, you tried to keep your growing arousal and nervousness under control. Each touch set you on fire, and with John moving this slow you couldn’t be sure you’d live long enough to see another day. It was too good feeling a man actually appreciated a woman in front of him. Not just finding the small bits and pieces he preferred and overlooking the rest. You knew being nervous was natural, but the more John rubbed and soothed, it was getting harder and harder not to whine or ask him for just a little bit more to satiate you. Right away, John’s eyes darted up to you, and something you couldn’t quite describe flashed through his eyes just long enough for him to lip his lips and sit up a little straighter, pulling you to sit straddling just one of his thighs.

“I think I know what you want, sweetheart.” He smiled so damn affectionately that it made your heart jump. “But just so I know… why don’t you go ahead and tell me, that way I don’t miss anything. I don’t like to disappoint.” Toying with the zipper of his sweater, you suck in a nervous breath to steady your nerves.

“I want you to, have sex with me.” You hardly whisper the second part, still drawing your own attention towards anything minute that could serve as a focal point with your body shaking so badly.

“Hmm…” His thoughtful hum sends shivers up your spine, and the feeling of his hands massaging your hips makes it hard to breathe. “So I was right,” A smile crosses his face. “Well then, how about you go ahead and take care of this.” He growls a little, his fingers slowly tracing over the barely-there strip of fabric covering your core, already soaking wet with your arousal. Your little moan slips out before you can even try to cover your mouth, and John’s fingers slip away like he was purposefully trying to be mean and deny you a taste of relief.

“John, please…” You whimper, hands resting on his shoulders hoping he’ll take mercy on you.

He just shifts down to rest against the couch a little more and bounces his knee a few times, sending jolts of extreme sensation right up your clit into your lower stomach. You didn’t get it at first… what he wanted you to do. But now you did, and John almost grinned when he saw the realization, followed by the shy look you gave him. Encouragement was needed, and he was more than happy to deliver. Slowly rocking your hips back and forth along his pants, purposefully having settled you on the side that his thigh-holster was strapped to, adding two extra ridges that instantly began working to overstimulate you. It was too good, and not enough. Pushing your inhibitions just a little further out of focus and forcing you to really focus on how nothing more than his thigh was getting you to a release quicker than any toy or trick you’d tried on yourself. Impeccable alone, it was his low voice right in your ear that made everything outside of John Price holding you on his lap disappear.

“Doin’ so good, sweetheart…”

“Making me feel bad for not helping sooner… If I would’ve known how needy you were.”

“That’s it, love. Keep going, want you to let go. Right on my lap, then I’ll take care of you.”

His lips suffocated your moans and whimpers, swallowing each little pleasure and claiming it as his own. John hadn’t taken his time like this in years, but damn it was special seeing you -his pretty little thing- so needy and whining his name. So sensitive to the texture of his cargos that he was actually wondering if you could withstand something more… purposeful. God, he hoped you could. He wanted to tase you so bad after feeling just how wet you were. Fuck, even the dark khaki color of his pants was getting darker with each little jerk and grind of your hips. Thighs twitching and clenching around him like you couldn’t get the right angle, and were slowly getting more pathetically and innocently frustrated. He needed you hungry though… wanted to ensure that this was done properly. And if it meant withholding from you just enough to make sure you were desperate, he’d bite back every urge he had to give you everything right away.

John knew right away that you were a virgin. Either by just his ability to read people or by the way that you didn’t particularly use sex appeal to draw him in right when you first met. You weren’t innocent of how you looked though, and always dressed and acted much to the benefit of being seen as the valuable woman Price always believed you to be. Yet it didn’t escape his curiosity as to how you’d been able to slip through the grasps of so many disrespectful and predatory men who would’ve done anything to have taken their chance at you. Fuck, he was thankful beyond belief. He hated thinking that you could’ve needed to experience pain or discomfort at any point… but he never asked you simply out of respect and the knowledge that at some point the topic would come up. Only, it didn’t come to fruition quite like he expected. In fact, he never imagined that you’d had your first orgasm with him riding his thigh while sitting on the couch in his house. He wouldn’t change it for a goddamn thing, though.

In the moment, he’d wanted nothing more than to hear you. After hearing so many little whines and pleas for his help, he knew you’d sound so beautiful. But his own intentions fell to desire when he crashed his lips to yours, taking those cries of pleasure for himself. There would be plenty more to come for him to bask in the sound of. The first one though? He needed it. It was his to taste and keep forever. Alongside the taste of your pleasure, he relished in your shaking legs and the harsh bite of your nails digging into his shoulders hard enough to feel through two shirts. He felt your desperation just as deeply as his own, and while his cock straining against his zipper was not totally lost to his attention, John could easily stave off his own needs to make sure you were satiated just as thoroughly as deserved for coming on his pants like the good little things you always were.

“Good girl… You did so good for me, sweetheart.” His rough voice rumbled against your ear as his kissed you softly.

Petting your hair and rubbing his other hand down your quivering thigh. As much as he wanted to keep you right here and not disturb your come-down, he wanted you in bed. Needed to see you laid out like he pictured when jerking his cock after weeks of pent-up stress needed a release. Fuck he wanted to take you slow in his bed and wake up in the morning with you wrapped around him and the smell of sex on the sheets. Before you could really even catch your breath, John had you spread out on the bed with him staring down at you almost astonished. You were just as affected, seeing the heavy outline of his dick parallel to his zipper and ending just at his belt. His eyes caught your lingering, and he chuckled, biting his tongue with his back teeth before squeezing himself and shrugging like it wasn’t the hottest thing you’d ever seen him do. The little gasp you let out only gave him that much more confidence to keep teasing you as much as he’d been.

Slowly, painfully, stripping off one piece of clothing at a time and letting it drop to the floor. Eyes locked on yours like he was getting off to how you reacted to each little inch of skin that was bared to you. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought he enjoyed all of the attention on him. When in reality, he was just mesmerized by how in awe you were of him, looking like a war-torn soldier with his scars and hardened body. You were holding your breath for the moment he pushed his underwear down off his hips, standing downright predatory with his fist tight around the base of his thick and glistening cock. If you ever had a moment of hesitation about doing this with John, they dissolved in that single moment. Because your next movement was to reach your hands out, wiggling your fingers for him to come closer.

“What would you like?” He asks, coming to stand at the foot of the bed just out of your reach.

“You.” You answer a little plainly, making him chuckle.

“Not quite specific enough, sweetheart.” His eyes drop to your body hugged in that black outfit and he bites at his cheek. “But as much as I love you in that, I’d like to see you take it off.” A very easy request. Had it not been for your inability to reach the little snap at the back that kept you tied into all of the lace and straps. So, you very politely raised up and sat on your knees with your back to John and gave him the sweetest look you could manage.

“Give me hand, Captain?”

He nearly ripped the fucking thing off.

The moment he had your seduction tactic of clothing balled up in his fist, he felt the first little surge of his common sense holding him back a little bit. Base instinct screamed for him to sink into you as quickly as possible. But feeling your hands rub over his chest and your shy little kisses to his neck reminded him of circumstance. Pinned against your belly, his cock twitched in response to your teeth grazing accidentally over his collarbone. You were about to whisper an apology when John wrapped a hand around your throat to tilt your head up and suck hard just under your jaw. He liked when you did that… The thought gave you a little bolt of satisfaction. One that progressed into your hands sliding down his stomach until your fingers curled around his thick shaft, earning a warning sound of a moan deep in his chest.

“So fuckin’ soft…” He murmured against your shoulder, kissing it hotly and slowly rocking his hips against your hands. Teasing himself. Edging closer to try and raise a little bit of resistance so he wouldn’t spill his load on the bed long before he was damn well ready. Your silky little hands spreading his arousal over his length only lasted for a few minutes before John was pulling you away with heaving breaths and a flush breaking out over his cheeks.

“Too much?” You ask a little giggly when he lays you back and crawls up to kneel between your spread legs.

His reaction is one of raised eyebrows and a devilish kind of smile that makes you feel like you just made a little too accurate of a joke to be laughing. John gives you a little warning ‘tsk tsk’, shaking his head like he could try and hide the lust and affection swirling in his dark eyes at the sight of you giggling, and all spread out for him like a five-course meal the Queen of England couldn’t afford to buy. A wiser man might’ve believed himself worthy of you, enough that his dirty hands could touch you and try to give you pleasure in the way they assumed to know best. Yet John leaned over you with the knowledge that he was one of the most unworthy men on the planet, and you had so much grace and love inside of you that it didn’t matter. One little touch and you could cleanse him of every blood stain he’d not been able to clean or sinful act of revenge he couldn’t resist committing. Above all else, you’d decided in all your innocence of the world that you trusted him with your body as much as you’d already handed over your heart and mind.

John kissed you. Hard. With everything he had to offer in return for the invaluable

With that, he’s, hauling you up against him. He wants you laying right on top of him so he can sleep soundly with you right against him. He’s very quick to give you more praise and ask again if you’re feeling okay mentally and physically. You mention feeling just a little insecure, despite all of his very purposeful care throughout the whole process, but Price won’t have it.

Right away he’s kissing you softly, hands rubbing over your back and butt affectionately. Letting you know just how special he feels that you trusted him, as well as just how lucky he was to find someone like you in the first place. Holding the back of your head and gently cradling you against his lips; Tongue licking into your mouth and groaning softly when you mirror his movements, even going far enough to nip at his tongue. Using that same little hint of him enjoying your teeth on him. Just like before, you’re met with another warning sound of a growl, and John is pulling back and moving his head between your legs with a careful watch on your reaction.

“Can’t wait any longer, sweetheart.” He kissed your inner thigh sweetly. “Please let me taste your sweet little pussy.”

His words shock your body, and your head falls back with the little bit of erotic pleads overwhelming you. God, it was making you drip onto the sheets feeling him so close yet waiting for your answer. Pathetically, you couldn’t get the word ‘yes’ out of your mouth for a few long minutes. Just enough time for him to lovingly suck bruises onto your inner thighs and mean you scream out his name, squirming under his hands to try and get some real relief.

John takes pity on you, stopping long enough to let you catch your breath. “Come on pretty girl. Just say the word… I’ll make you feel so fuckin’ good.”

“Yes, yes, yes… please. I need more!” Your airy pleas fall like angel’s trumpets on his ears, as his mouth descends hungrily onto your cunt.

Licking through your slick folds and growling your own name back against your core with the sweet and alkaline flavor. Your hips buck up and you cry out, feeling his tongue lash over your clit for the first time and right away he’s got one forearm over your hips to hold them steady with the other hand held tight with his fingers intertwined with yours. His mustache tickles against your skin and you can feel him resting his head against your thigh, almost like he’s getting comfortable for an extended stay with his tongue in your cunt.

Another orgasm is ripped from you without warning less than ten minutes into John’s unyielding assault on your sensitive clit. And it’s this time that John ensures your thighs can’t wrap around his head for the sole purpose of hearing your loud and raw scream of his name. Blissed out, and shaking once again, John smiles against your pussy; Lapping up any remaining release he’d missed mere seconds before and feeling the dull pressure of your heels digging into his back.

“God, you’re so good for me sweetheart,” His praise blows cool air over your folds and you jerk a little, whining when you feel his lips return back down to you. Slowly, teasingly, he began all over again just as he did the first time.

It takes a couple seconds for you to realize he doesn’t plan on stopping. But when you do, crying for him to stop when he begins using his thumb to tease your clit while his tongue fucks slowly in and out of your clenching hole. John almost laughs, darkly and amused with your little cries and moans. Feeding off of your pleasure just to give it right back to you in the direct motivation of making you come on his tongue and fingers this time.

“F-fuck - John! Sh-shit,” Your stuttered voice falls into an unabashed groan when he teases his finger at your entrance, and slowly slides it deep into your fluttering pussy, squeezing around it tightly. Hungry for more, and weeping with each small curl of the digit hitting on your upper wall.

Your eyes roll back, and you attempt to push John’s head back to try and ease the stimulation, just to feel his hand holding you back and in place. It’s maddening, feeling so good that it’s almost bringing tears to your eyes, having already come twice -more than you typically gave yourself- and no sign of him letting you escape.

God, John was pushing you to the boundary of everything you knew about your own body, as well as giving you the first, raw, experience of just how good sex could be. Lifting your head up just to try and get a small glance at him, you catch the sight of his eyes, fiery and intense looking right back up at you with your own come soaking his mustache and the entire lower half of his handsome face. You clench around his digit again, being pushed that much closer to the edge just at the visual alone.

Your third release came as quickly as the first two, this time resulting in the delicious stretch of John’s three fingers pumping in and out of your cunt, literally slurping up your release; Almost dragging it out of you like he couldn’t stand the thought of not swallowing every drop. He whispered your name so gently as he came to rest on his forearms overtop of you, kissing your forehead with his wet lips and feeling his hair stick against your sweaty forehead.

“Sweetheart…” his tone had softened to the smallest whisper you’d ever heard from him. “Are you sure you want this? We can stop here if you’d like.”

Opening your eyes to see his handsome face and the slight of his hair in a total mess, you knew getting away with not mentioning your lack of experience was impossible. Your John… wasn’t nearly as unobservant as you’d wanted him to be. Without more than a tired little smile, you nodded. Raising your head weakly just far enough to kiss him gently, tasting yourself against your lips and feeling the slight quiver of his breath.

“Please, I want this. I want you John.”

Initially, no matter how much he’d taken care to prep you there was still a deep stretch as his thick cock began slowly entering you. Sweetly, he worked you through each little discomfort, giving you kiss after kiss and running his hands through your hair. Distracting from the little sting that had never been present with your toys, and praising you until his hips pressed flush against yours.

“Fuucckkk yes,” Price couldn’t hold back the loud groan as he looked down to see your pretty little cunt taking every last inch of his dick and squeezing so hard he could barely think straight.

“Takin’ my cock so good… Such a pretty girl, my good little thing…” His murmurs and curses slowly devolved the further you progressed.

Your body slowly adjusted to the intrusion and the gentle thrusts John made the moment you began squirming and pleading with him to move through your little hiccups. The unusual feeling of John moving inside of you slowly began to coax moans and praise from your mouth every time the crown of his cock rubbed deep against a swollen, textured, spot inside of you that built up pressure so quickly that you needed to wrap your legs around his hips to keep them from shaking uncontrollably. Each stroke got harder and harder, with John eventually pounding his cock deep inside of you, moaning and using one arm to wrap around your waist to hold your lower body still so he could bring both of you closer.

“J-John…” Your voice jolted with each snap of his hips as you tried to warn him.

Feeling that familiar yet almost destructive power of another climax rushing through your lower body. Convinced you didn’t have enough left in you to come again, you felt tears pricking your eyes, overwhelmed with immense pleasure skyrocketing you towards a final orgasm you kept denying until John’s fingers reached between you and expertly began rubbing tight circles around your clit, violently tossing you into whited-out vision, and muted hearing.

Above you, John found his own release and shared it at the same time as yours. Fisting the bedsheets to keep from grabbing ahold of you too tightly and bruising you; his cock getting squeezed so tightly from your climax that it was almost painful to stay seated inside of you. With so little arm strength left, he fell nearly full-weight on top of you and only propped himself up by his elbows to keep from suffocating you.

Utterly wrecked, and feeling more than you’d ever experienced more than you’d felt in your life, it took minutes before you could open your eyes and actually have enough of the mental capacity to realize that John was gently stroking your head, kissing your forehead and your nose, and holding you tightly to him as the strong muscle jerks and twitches in your body began to die out.

“You here with me?” Low and comforting, you smile dazedly with your eyes heavy and trying to focus on him.

You merely nod your head yes and give what you assumed was a ‘mhmmm’ but might’ve sounded more like a small animal being choked or drowned. Naturally, John’s lips spread into a very happy and amused smile, cupping your cheek with his hand and pressing a kiss to your lips softly.

“Come on, sweetheart…” John whispered, pulling your head up to his chest and gently easing himself out of you with a low sigh.

You’re once again lifted up and whisked away, this time, into the bathroom just off to the side of the bedroom where John carefully sits you down on the edge of the bathtub and starts running hot water with the lights dimmed low. Certain he’s got everything for your bath within your reach and the water is high enough for you to really sink down into in and relax, he gives you a soft kiss and promises to return after just a couple minutes.

He returns before you even work up the desire to wash your hair, and immediately takes over the task of getting you cleaned up himself. In between the lulls of soaps, and conditioners, John will pose quiet questions, asking how you’re feeling and wanting to know if there was anything that hurt you physically or was bothering you mentally. His care was intense and very personal, giving you much more confidence and comfort after having such a draining experience. Of course, you felt fantastic throughout, but when he asked if you were tired, there was a feeling that he already knew you were and expected you to tell him how he could best support you.

Other than letting your head rest against his chest. Leaving not one inch of your body neglected, from your face to your feet. Throughout the process you watch through sleepy eyes, seeing a very peaceful sort of look on his face while soaping you up and helping you rinse off and step out of the slippery bathtub into a warm towel you could only assume he’d thrown in the dryer just for your comfort.

Holding the towel around yourself, you peck him on the lips and smile, too tired to really say anything of real value. However, you’re certain John understands by the way his arms wrap you up and hold you tight to his bare chest while running his fingers through your wet hair, helping get out some of the little tangles your conditioner couldn’t quite take care of alone.

“I love you, John. More than anything.”

He drops a kiss on top of your head, rocking your weights back and forth in the dimmed light of the bathroom. Admiring your little form in the darkened silhouette of his much larger one.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

“You’re my best friend.”

He chuckles, finding that so very endearing.

“You’re mine too.”

yeah... the "you're my best friend" part, me and my husband do that <3 so.... that's a thing.

[writefightandflightclub]

it's almost time for chapter two of ride or die 🤗🤗🤗🥰🥰 I'm readyyyyy.

Tomorrow can't come soon enough.

Anyways, I have a question for you.

What made you decide on writing the whole story first before posting instead of like everytime you finished a chapter you posted it? Did u write it chronological? Or was there certain scenes you just HAD to write first bc they were making you sleepless? What's the story behind the fic? Did u had the story in mind when u posted that first chapter years ago? Or was the support of the readers asking for a second part the thought that made you go: "I can totally make this a story"?

Sorry if those are a lot of questions....I'm just a curious girl. 🫣 Feel free to not answer me if u don't wanna.

Take care 💜

Lola, you are giving me LIFE.

Thank you for indulging me. My lil writer heart is so happy to receive these questions! 🧡☺️🥹

So, I decided to write the whole series before posting mainly so I could force myself to finish it! I’ve completed some series before by posting chapters on the fly… but I also have others which are unfinished with the concluding parts languishing in my drafts. So, I really wanted to know this was DONE, in part so I could escape the pressure / guilt (self-imposed) which sometimes comes with winging it. But also so I could give a satisfying conclusion to anyone who chose to kindly invest their precious time in it.

As well, omg. I felt so wrapped up with these characters that I sorta wanted to write their story free of external comments and perspectives. I felt like there were specific places I wanted them to go, and I wonder, if I had been responding to comments as the story was still unfolding, might I have started second guessing things or taking it in a different direction? And don’t get me wrong, comments are my FAVE thing, I live for hearing all the different takes and interpretations, and feedback has been endlessly helpful and meaningful to me. I’m grateful for every single one! I just sorta wanted to let the characters in my head have first dibs on where they wanted to go this time, you know?! ☺️ An honestly, most of the time I have NO IDEA where I’m going with something, but this time I had a little bit more of an idea of the arc I wanted, and so this made sense.

Practically, it was also so I could get the continuity right from chapter to chapter. A later moment might change my perspective on an earlier scene, and if I posted outright I wouldn’t have had the flexibility to make changes.

On that note, the flexibility turned out to be needed. Some things even changed pretty last minute.

I definitely didn’t write it chronologically. I jump around a lot when I write. It’s CHAOS!!!

Tbh, I never had any continuation or larger story in mind when this started, and I fully credit all of the wonderful readers of that one-shot for this being a thing AT ALL beyond that! Chapter 1, in its OG form, was actually my first EVER Santiago one shot, and I loved the pairing so much that, with encouragement, I resolved to do a “part 2”!

However, their situation is actually so complicated that it… wouldn’t resolve quickly, yk?! The characters needed more space to breathe and grow (and to go through some stuff). And so now it’s LONG. It just… expanded as the characters pushed it apart.

I had a blast 🤣🤣🤣

In terms of scenes that were making me sleepless? Hmm. I spent a LOT of time thinking and pondering and playing out variations in my head. A LOT. There’s a flashback scene I was itching to write for a very tender moment contained in it (that chapter is far too long gah). And there’s a scene between Santi and Frankie that’s a real highlight for me.

Also, I cried MANY times while writing this agshsjajshahkahshsjjaj.

Thank you so much for being so sweet and being interested. I can’t tell you how much it means, fr. 🥹🧡

[dawngyu]

i saw this right as i was getting ready for work and guess what… i rushed through everything like a maniac just so i could get my hands on it asap… asjdhjasdhh her i am pls (ps: i still have the playlist based on the songs you listed down ahhhhh i love them)

spoilers under the cut

Jungwon was half-distracted, mind somewhere else entirely, when the girl he barely remembered the name of tugged at his collar, lips finding the side of his neck. Her fingers slipped under the hem of his shirt, nails scraping lightly across his skin.

DIVORCE

Hell, he didn’t even plan on seeing her again. Jungwon didn’t do repeats.

WOW i know you warned us but </3 he's such a fboy ajsdjad

He should have walked away right then.

MENNNNNNN

okay??? i didn’t realize??? we’re starting out in his perspective??? ahhhh this couldn’t be more perfect adhsdhgds and how do you keep surprising me with your writing??? dear lord

“She’s pretty," she said, voice light, teasing. "Is that her?"

YES I AM MISS MAAM

She tilted her head, smiling like she knew something he didn’t. “The girl who rejected you during freshmen year. Jake told me.”

WAIT WHAT IS THIS LORE?

ughhh the way you write is so effortless and immersive, i love it so much. it genuinely feels like it’s all happening around me adsjakd i need to shut up before i fully embarrass myself with how much i adore you and your writing

Because for the first time in a long time, something actually fucking mattered. And he might have just ruined it before it even had the chance to start.

sir… u have a LOT of explaining to do.

wait this is so cute—the gummies??? looking back at the first part, it means so much more now. omg?? omg?? that tiny detail seriously squeezed my heart. alsooo, the banter?? chef’s kiss. reader is written so well, she’s such a girlboss and i love her sm.

Tuning out the rest of the world, unconsciously drawn to the sound of your laugh, the flash of your bag stuffed with books and candy, the easy way you moved through life like you weren’t trying to impress anyone.

this just melted my heart

Jake was courting you.

DAMN???????

jungwon is deep fr. like… he actually joined the club because of her?? adshahdgd this is showing such a different side of him compared to the first part and i’m obsesseddd. i love it so much.

"Yeah," another club member chimed in, dramatic as ever. "She said she's not ready for dating. Wants to focus on her studies first, plus she was thinking of running for the student council next year."

GIRL I LOVE HER SHE'S A CAREER WOMAN THEN

You looked relieved. Jake looked baffled.

Jungwon felt like something inside him cracked quietly open.

Raya feels her insides being twisted.

The morning Jungwon turned eighteen, the world stayed silent—for a moment.

THIS IS IT. THIS IS IT. SHURI HOLD MY HAND PLEASE.

And then bleeding in like a crack through the wall he heard it.

HE HEARD IT?

Blessing Activated: The ability to hear the thoughts of those you are conversing with.

OMG AHHHHH

And Jungwon had spent his whole life surrounded by that kind of duplicity. Family members who said "I'm proud of you" but thought "You better not ruin our name." Cousins who laughed over family dinners but secretly wished for each other's failures. An uncle who clapped him on the back and said "You’re lucky" while thinking "It should have been my son instead."

how heavy that must feel… sure, there are pros to being able to read someone’s mind—but as you wrote, the weight of it can be so isolating too. how do you even begin to tell someone, “hey, i know you were thinking the exact opposite”? asdhgdh it’s so complex. so messy. it’s a gift, but also a burden (in a way)

"Just get through this. Don’t let him see you melt like some idiot."

THE BUTTERFLIES I HAVE RN FOR THE MC'S THOUGHTS GOSH I'M HAVING SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT

“He’s not going to be your husband. No way. Watch me prove fate wrong.”

I SQUEALED. ASDUUDISG SHIT AUSDHA HOW ARE U DOING THIS?

He didn’t even realize he was grinning like an idiot until his reflection caught in the dark window. Quickly, he sobered, scolding himself but it was useless. That voice—your voice—echoed in his head with too much heat.

THIS IS CUTE AND I LOVE HIM SORRY FOR EVEN THINKING ABT DIVORCING U ASDDHIGSD

It might’ve been his favorite birthday yet. Because for the first time in a long time, he dreamed not of pressure, pleasure, or perfection, but of you.

And when morning came, groggy and golden through his window, the first thing that surfaced in his mind wasn’t the dread of responsibility.

It was you.

PEAK ROMANCE. i want these words tattooed on my body right now.

ahhhhh this got me so excited all over again—no, doubly excited. the way you reworked those scenes from his pov?? i seriously can’t get over how much i love your writing. my heart was racing the entire time. you did it again, my shuri. i cannot wait for the next part.

also this is me everytime i see you on my feed. i love u so bad ><

EIGHTEEN - YANG JUNGWON (PART II)

pairing: fboy!jungwon x reader summary: where on your 18th birthday, you receive a blessing that lets you see the future, only to find yourself married to jungwon, the college heartthrob you’ve barely spoken to, with a child calling you mom. genre: university / college au, soulmate au, fantasy, fluff, slight angst, love triangle, pining, slow burn word count: 4.8k playlist: 18 - one direction, stuck with u - ariana grande & justin bieber, you belong with me - ts, lavender haze - ts, wish that i could - umi, meddle about - chase atlantic A/N: forgive me if this part's a bit short. i promise to make it up to you in the next ones, hehe

masterlist.

This is a work of fiction. It does not represent real people, events, or systems. Any similarities are purely coincidental, and all elements are created for fantasy purposes only.

The drama club’s room smelled faintly of old velvet curtains and cheap perfume.

Jungwon was half-distracted, mind somewhere else entirely, when the girl he barely remembered the name of tugged at his collar, lips finding the side of his neck. Her fingers slipped under the hem of his shirt, nails scraping lightly across his skin.

He let her.

Only because he wanted to get this over with.

The only reason he even agreed to meet her again today was to retrieve his wallet. The one he stupidly left at her dorm last night. He didn’t even plan on staying longer than necessary. Hell, he didn’t even plan on seeing her again. Jungwon didn’t do repeats.

But when she leaned in too close, smirking against his ear and said, "At least let me give you an advanced birthday treat, babe," he froze.

He should have walked away right then.

Instead, when she kept pushing, fingers pulling at his belt loops, mouth chasing his, he kissed her. Hard. Too hard.

Just to shut her up.

A mistake.

A fucking mistake.

Because that’s when the door creaked open.

And everything inside him seized up.

Through the tangled mess of limbs and desperation, his eyes locked onto a figure standing stiff at the door.

You.

Wide-eyed. Frozen. Like you’d just witnessed a car crash you couldn’t look away from.

Fuck.

He pulled back like he’d been electrocuted, his breath catching sharp in his throat.

“Y/N?” he blurted, voice rough and broken.

You didn’t say anything.

Didn’t move.

Just turned too fast and disappeared down the hallway, footsteps fading like a nightmare.

The girl beside him clicked her tongue, smoothing down her skirt, unfazed. She leaned against the desk casually, fixing her lipstick in the reflection of a trophy case.

“She’s pretty," she said, voice light, teasing. "Is that her?"

Jungwon stared at her, still breathing hard. “What?”

She tilted her head, smiling like she knew something he didn’t. “The girl who rejected you during freshmen year. Jake told me.”

His fists clenched at his sides. He stared at her, a million unsaid things clawing up his throat.

“I wasn’t rejected,” Jungwon snapped, sharper than he meant to. “And Jake doesn’t have the right to say shit. He’s in the same fucking position.”

The girl only chuckled, slipping her phone back into her bag like she hadn’t just dropped a nuclear bomb and walked away.

Jungwon stood there for a long moment, the stale, suffocating air pressing down on him.

He had come here for a wallet.

He had stayed because he was stupid.

He kissed a girl he didn’t even like because he thought it didn’t matter.

But it mattered.

Because for the first time in a long time, something actually fucking mattered.

And he might have just ruined it before it even had the chance to start.

It started small.

The kind of thing you wouldn’t even notice unless you were paying attention.

There was a vending machine tucked beside the science hall. Old, humming, half-forgotten. Students barely used it unless they were desperate between classes. But Jungwon did. And he always bought the same thing: the yellow-pack gummy bears.

Soft, sweet, just the right chew.

Something about them tasted like how he imagined being a kid felt simple and untouched.

Except, lately, they were always gone.

He’d walk up between lectures, coins ready, tap the scratched glass — and nothing.

Every other snack untouched.

Every other candy still neatly stacked.

Just the yellow gummies, empty.

It pissed him off a little.

He even once smacked the side of the machine in frustration, earning a few weird glances from passing students. He ignored them, he had bigger problems.

One day, he was earlier than usual. The hallways were half-empty, the vending machine still blinking lazily in the corner. And there you were.

Crouched low, head tilted, tapping the glass thoughtfully like you were deep in negotiation with the machine. In your hand? Two packs of the yellow gummies.

And in your bag? He caught the flash of even more, at least three, four crammed into the front pocket like a guilty secret.

You turned, mid-stuffing the last pack into your bag. Eyes meeting. Both of you frozen.

He recognized you vaguely. Freshman orientation, Jake's friend, the girl who laughed at his jokes but never stuck around for long.

And now? Now you were the damn vending machine thief.

You blinked, the barest flicker of surprise crossing your face before you straightened up calmly, like you weren’t doing anything remotely suspicious. You were.

Jungwon crossed his arms, smirking before he could stop himself.

"Leave some for the rest of us, maybe?"

You shrugged, not even guilty. "Survival of the fittest."

He huffed out a laugh. "You're hoarding them."

"They're the best ones," you said simply, like it was obvious. "Supply and demand."

He shook his head, smiling despite himself. You were something else.

"I’ve been trying to buy those for a week," he said, mock offended.

"You should be faster," you replied, voice light, teasing, as you zipped your bag shut and slung it over your shoulder.

Before he could think of anything clever to say, you tossed one of the packs toward him. He caught it, stunned.

"Here," you said.

A peace offering.

Or maybe just a dare to keep up.

Then you walked away, steps light, disappearing down the hallway before he could ask your name.

He stood there for a second, the vending machine humming behind him, the yellow pack crinkling in his hand.

Slowly, he smiled.

He didn’t know much about you yet. Only that you liked the same gummy bears. And that you didn’t apologize for it.

But that tiny, stupid moment? It stuck. Burrowed somewhere he couldn't dig out later, no matter how many months passed.

And later, when people joked about how he must’ve had dozens of girls chasing after him, he just thought about you, walking away without a second glance, leaving him standing there like some idiot holding candy.

After that day at the vending machine, Jungwon started noticing you everywhere. At first, he told himself it was coincidence. The campus wasn’t that big. Maybe your paths just happened to cross. Maybe you just happened to sit two rows ahead of him in economics. Maybe you just happened to linger outside the drama clubroom, laughing too brightly with Sunoo.

But deep down, he knew the truth.

He was looking for you now.

Tuning out the rest of the world, unconsciously drawn to the sound of your laugh, the flash of your bag stuffed with books and candy, the easy way you moved through life like you weren’t trying to impress anyone.

And you never noticed him.

Not really.

You barely even glanced his way.

He almost gave up then, almost let himself believe it was just a vending machine moment, a glitch in the universe that wasn’t meant to last.

Until rumors started.

Jake was courting you.

Jake, the golden boy with the easy smiles and a trail of admirers.

Jake, who was somehow close to you already.

Jake, who could make anyone fall for him if he really wanted to.

Jungwon told himself it didn’t matter. He lied.

It hurt.

More than it should have.

A stupid, sour sting every time he saw Jake walking next to you, tossing you candies or making you laugh in that easy, infuriating way of his.

So Jungwon, idiot that he was, joined the drama club. “I need the extracurricular points," he told everyone. Nobody believed him.

Mostly, he stuck to backstage work, fixing broken chairs, painting sets, running errands Sunoo barked at him with terrifying efficiency.

You were always around, helping, organizing, laughing. Sometimes you sat cross-legged on the stage sorting costume jewelry into plastic bins. Sometimes you passed him a bottle of water without looking. He said thank you quietly every time and you never noticed.

But he stayed anyway.

Because being near you, even if you didn’t see him, felt better than nothing at all.

Then one afternoon, everything shifted again.

He was fixing a crooked light rig when Sunoo’s voice rang out through the dusty club office.

"Y/N turned Jake down yesterday." Loud. Blunt. No room for misunderstanding.

The room went quiet. Someone gasped. Someone else whistled low.

Jungwon tightened his grip on the wrench. Heart slamming. Mind racing.

You turned Jake down?

"Yeah," another club member chimed in, dramatic as ever. "She said she's not ready for dating. Wants to focus on her studies first, plus she was thinking of running for the student council next year."

Sunoo laughed. "Classic Y/N. Always has her priorities straight."

Jungwon barely heard the rest.

All he could think was—

Maybe.

Maybe there was a chance.

Maybe he wasn’t as invisible as he thought.

He spent the whole night drafting letters he’d never send. Debating if he should say anything at all.

In the end, he didn’t write a love confession. He didn’t pour his heart out. He just kept it simple.

A bag of yellow gummy bears. And a note taped on it.

"I know this might not be the right time to give you something like this.

But I just wanted you to know,  you're interesting in every possible way.

You're the kind of person someone could admire quietly for a long time, even if the tides never turn in their favor.

I hope you keep smiling the way you do when you win arguments.

I hope you keep picking the yellow gummy bears, even if you have to fight for the last one.

No pressure.

No expectations.

Just... you deserve to know."

He left it in your locker early the next morning. Heart hammering. Hands shaking.

He thought maybe you’d know. Maybe the gummy bears would tip you off. Maybe you’d remember the stupid vending machine moment that never really left his mind.

Instead—

At lunch, he saw you. Marching across the courtyard. The bag of gummy bears clutched in your hand. Heading straight for Jake.

From where Jungwon sat on the stone steps by the library, he saw it unfold like a bad dream:

You smiling politely.

Talking softly.

Handing Jake the gummy bears back like they were some kind of apology.

And Jake—Jake just blinked, clearly confused, before awkwardly nodding and taking the bag.

You looked relieved.

Jake looked baffled.

Jungwon felt like something inside him cracked quietly open.

You thought Jake sent the gift.

You thought Jake wrote the letter.

And you turned it down.

Kindly. Gently.

And you never even knew it was him.

Later, Jake found him by the vending machines, tossing the crumpled bag onto Jungwon's lap.

"You’re a dumbass," Jake said, not unkindly.

"You should've put your name on it."

Then he left, leaving Jungwon alone with a silent, half-empty machine and a gummy bear pack that tasted a lot more bitter than sweet now.

Jungwon never said anything about it.

He just swallowed the rejection he was never even given the chance to earn.

And maybe that’s why now, standing years later in a messy drama room, when that girl tilted her head and said with a teasing smile—

"The girl who rejected you during freshmen year. Jake told me."

Because truth was… you never even knew it was him.

You never even saw him.

Not then.

Not yet.

The door slammed shut behind him.

Jungwon didn’t stop walking.

Down the hallway, past the bulletin boards, past the same scratched lockers he could’ve walked through blindfolded.

His fists curled tighter with every step.

Breath shallow. Mind buzzing.

He pushed outside, the night air slapping cold against his face. But the sick feeling in his gut didn’t go away.

He barely made it two steps across the courtyard when—

"Jungwon!"

He turned, shoulders stiff.

It was Sunoo, jogging up, frowning. "Dude, what happened? Why is Y/N storming out like she’s about to sue the entire drama club?"

Jungwon opened his mouth.

Closed it.

Rubbed a hand down his face.

"I messed up," he muttered finally, voice hoarse. "I didn’t mean for her to see... that."

Sunoo stared at him, mouth twitching like he wanted to ask a dozen questions but knew better.

Jungwon dug into the pocket of his hoodie and pulled out the bright yellow pack, the gummy bears he'd bought earlier, before everything went to shit. Before he'd ruined it.

And then it hit him.

Today was your birthday.

You were supposed to have a good day.

You were supposed to laugh and smile and maybe — maybe — open your locker to find a stupid, cheesy pack of candy from someone who actually thought about you.

Instead, you found him like that.

Instead, he made you leave like your heart was breaking in real time.

A fresh wave of guilt slammed into him, sharp enough to make his stomach turn.

He shoved the pack into Sunoo’s hands, almost too rough.

"Give this to her," Jungwon said, jaw tight. "Tomorrow. Please."

Sunoo blinked down at it. "Uh. Okay? What is this, a bribe?"

Jungwon gave a humorless huff of air.

"Just... tell her I’m sorry. Tell her it’s from me."

Sunoo tucked the candy into his tote bag, still looking like he wanted to say more.

"I have to check our biochem lab results tomorrow," Jungwon added, half an excuse, half the truth. "I won’t see her before lunch."

Sunoo nodded slowly.

"You sure you don’t wanna just give it to her yourself?"

Jungwon shrugged helplessly.

"I don’t think she wants to see me right now."

A beat of silence.

The wind picked up, rattling the bare branches overhead.

Sunoo sighed, clapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Alright. I’ll make sure she gets it."

He started to turn away, then paused, glancing back with a small, lopsided smile.

"Oh—and, uh, advance happy birthday, Jungwon."

Jungwon managed the barest curve of a smile.

"Thanks."

And then he turned, hoodie pulled up against the cold, and disappeared into the night.

The morning Jungwon turned eighteen, the world stayed silent—for a moment.

The sun rose like it always did, pale and slow against the cracked skyline.

His apartment was still the same too: neat, spare, clean to the point of looking unlived-in. A couch, a low coffee table, a desk piled with textbooks he didn’t really touch anymore.

Nothing screamed special day.

Nothing at all.

He sat up on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the muted light seeping through his curtains.

In families like his, birthdays — eighteenth birthdays — were monumental.

Because here, you only got your blessing once.

It came exactly on your eighteenth birthday, and it never changed after that.

It was supposed to be a celebration. A doorway into the life you were meant to live. But in Jungwon’s family, it wasn’t magic. It wasn’t wonder.

It was a contract.

A cousin who awakened the ability to manipulate probability was immediately signed into risk management for the family's overseas holdings flown out within two weeks. An older sister who could predict crucial decisions before they happened became the sharpest negotiator in corporate mergers. An aunt who could sway opinions through subtle energy became a political lobbyist, shuffled from one continent to another, her life signed away to strategies and campaign wars.

The blessings were always bent, reshaped, weaponized.

Once your blessing appeared, you were sealed into it. Expected to serve it. Or get discarded quietly, like those who didn't "align" well enough.

Jungwon learned early not to hope. Hope made you vulnerable. Hope got you chained.

His phone buzzed on the bedside table.

🎉 Happy 18th Birthday, Jungwon 🎉

It's time to check your Blessing 💫

He stared at the screen but didn’t move.

Because once you checked it, there was no going back. Once the world saw what you were it would decide who you were.

The phone buzzed again.

A text from his mother.

[Mom]

Happy Birthday, my love. Remember, make today count. Everyone’s watching and waiting. We love you.

And then bleeding in like a crack through the wall  he heard it.

He can’t afford to screw this up. We’ve invested too much already. If it’s not useful, we’ll need to reassess him for overseas placements.

Jungwon stiffened.

It wasn’t a message.

It wasn’t in the text.

It was her thoughts.

He wasn’t reading her words, he was hearing the parts she didn’t say.

He sat there, frozen, as realization sank in.

With a slow, almost reluctant movement, Jungwon finally tapped the blinking notification on his phone.

The screen flashed once, then displayed in clean, gold lettering:

Blessing Activated: The ability to hear the thoughts of those you are conversing with.

And if he could hear it through this simple text conversation...

What would happen when he spoke to people in real life?

A sour, heavy feeling settled into his chest.

This blessing wasn't something he could turn on and off.

It wasn’t something he asked for.

And it sure as hell wasn’t going to make his life easier.

He pushed himself to stand, grabbing his jacket in a stiff, mechanical motion. Then powered off his phone.

When he left the apartment, the air outside was cold against his skin.

As he made his way down the street, he avoided conversation like it was poison. He ignored the greetings of the security guard in his building. He nodded mutely to the woman who sold coffee on the corner without saying a word.

Because he knew what it meant now. Because he knew the moment he exchanged words, he would hear the real thing hiding underneath. Not their smiles. Not their words. The truth they kept locked away.

And Jungwon had spent his whole life surrounded by that kind of duplicity. Family members who said "I'm proud of you" but thought "You better not ruin our name." Cousins who laughed over family dinners but secretly wished for each other's failures. An uncle who clapped him on the back and said "You’re lucky" while thinking "It should have been my son instead."

He grew up seeing it already. The way blessings, were twisted into weapons, into currency, into burdens too heavy to carry.

And now?

Now he would never be able to unhear any of it, would he?

By the time he reached the university, his head was already aching.

He remembered, vaguely, how Sunoo had clapped him on the shoulder yesterday, laughing, "Advance happy birthday, Jungwon!" before running off to one of his club meetings.

How easy it had been to smile back then.

He wished he could freeze himself in that moment before the world tilted sideways.

Now, everything felt heavier.

He was grateful for the excuse to be alone today. Hidden away in the lab under the pretense of gathering data for his project. The thick walls, the stale scent of old paper and chemicals, the silent machines, it was a kind of peace he didn’t realize he needed so badly.

Here, there were no conversations.

No words exchanged.

No truths bleeding through.

Just silence.

Finally.

Jungwon leaned back in his chair, staring up at the cracked ceiling tiles.

Was this what blessings were supposed to feel like? Or was this just another leash, dressed up like a gift?

He closed his eyes and exhaled quietly.

Happy birthday.

What a joke.

Jungwon stayed frozen by the wall, watching you cross the quad like you were some mirage that might dissolve if he blinked too hard. The lab data crinkled faintly in his fingers, forgotten. His brain, usually so sharp, so careful, now felt like someone had jammed it into slow motion.

Because you were here.

Because you had actually replied.

And he had heard it—your thoughts, clear as day, slicing through the usual static of the world.

Sorry I just saw this. Where are you now?

He’d read the text with a stone face. And underneath it, he heard it—the rush of your guilt, the tiny pang of something warmer, something unbearably human.

Not calculation. Not politics. Not some angle to manipulate him, like everyone else he grew up around.

You.

Just you.

The moment your gaze locked with his across the quad, something in his chest tightened painfully. He stuffed his phone into his pocket, stood straighter, forced himself to smirk internally even though his throat felt dry.

"Hey. President," he called, casual, careful.

Because he remembered the look in your eyes that day outside the drama room—how you flinched when he tried to apologize, how you wouldn’t even look at him.

The last time he said your name out loud, you flinched like he was something rotten.

So now it was just "President." A shield between you and him.

You approached, steady, distant. Your voice clipped when you asked about the lab data. Jungwon handed it over, his fingers brushing yours—and he felt it, again, like a ripple of static under his skin.

Your thoughts cracked into him like sunlight through a stained glass window.

"His hand’s warm."

"Focus, Y/N. You’re being ridiculous."

"Just get through this. Don’t let him see you melt like some idiot."

Jungwon almost dropped the papers.

He bit the inside of his cheek instead, forcing himself to stay calm, to stay cool. Because if he lost it now—if he said anything wrong—you might shut him out completely.

You thanked him in that same clipped voice, turned to leave.

And then he heard it.

"God, why does he have to look at me like that? I hate feeling like this"

"Ugh, why he out of all people? Everything was fine until what I saw last night.”

“Just forget it, Y/N. Forget that stupid future your blessing showed you. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“He’s not going to be your husband. No way. Watch me prove fate wrong.”

Jungwon's world tilted.

Husband? Your husband?

His instincts scrambled for something, anything, to tether him back to earth, to slow the pounding in his chest. The words just slipped out, raw and unsteady, the first thing his brain could grab onto.

“…You saw the file?”

You paused. Nodded. Muttered, “It’s good.”

Then you walked away.

Jungwon stood there, rooted to the spot, heart hammering against his ribs so loud he thought someone might hear it.

Because for the first time since he woke up this morning, with the whole damn world feeling like it was pried open, every thought bleeding through the noise, didn’t feel suffocating.

That night, Jungwon’s dorm was too quiet, but his mind is completely the opposite.

Jungwon sat hunched on the edge of his bed, hoodie sleeves half-pulled over his knuckles, phone glowing dim in his hand. He’d read your message probably a hundred times.

"Sorry I just saw this. Where are you now?"

So casual. So harmless. But the memory of your voice, your clipped tone from earlier, the way your eyes didn’t quite meet his. All of it kept repeating in his head like a glitch in a dream he couldn’t wake up from.

And worse than the silence was the part he couldn’t shake.

Husband.

The word had lodged somewhere in his chest and refused to leave.

He didn’t even realize he was grinning like an idiot until his reflection caught in the dark window. Quickly, he sobered, scolding himself but it was useless. That voice—your voice—echoed in his head with too much heat.

She saw a future where I was her husband.

She thought about me. Dreamed about me.

She didn’t just push me away for no reason.

His thumb hovered over your contact.

He wasn’t supposed to use his blessing like this. He knew it. It was too intimate. Too invasive. But tonight, he needed to understand. Because your voice inside his head didn’t sound like hate. It sounded like fear. And want.

He opened the chat.

[9:47 PM]

hey.

it’s jungwon.

He hit send, then hesitated.

Don’t text her this late, idiot. You’ll just look desperate.

But what if she thinks you don’t care?

He sent another.

thanks for checking the file.

Still nothing.

He tapped his leg nervously, eyes locked on the screen. His thoughts were a mess with half apologies and half what-ifs.

are you still mad about yesterday.

it’s fine if you are. just wanted to say i wasn’t trying to... make you uncomfortable or anything.

didn’t know you’d walk in.

The reply came fast. Faster than he expected.

[Y/N]

Don’t flatter yourself. You didn’t make me uncomfortable.

I’ve seen worse.

But your thoughts betrayed you, spilling into him like sparks on skin.

Liar. I felt like my lungs collapsed when I saw him.

Because seeing him with someone else felt like a punch in the gut. Because it confirmed he’d never be mine. Even if the blessing said otherwise.

Jungwon’s heart thudded, warm and dizzy. You wanted him. Maybe not openly, maybe not consciously, but it was there. Real and raw.

His ears burned. He grinned against his knuckles.

He typed again.

you sure? you looked like you saw a ghost.

Because I did, okay? You were the ghost of that stupid dream. That version of you who held my hand and whispered all those sweet things.

And then I saw you tangled up with someone else like a slap of reality. God, maybe it wasn’t a vision at all. Maybe it was just a stupid delusion and I was the idiot who let it mean something.

His smile faded, just a bit. He wanted to explain. He wanted to reach into your thoughts and pull that version of him out, hand him to you like a promise.

Instead, you answered.

[Y/N]

I was just surprised. That’s all.

Another lie. Another flicker of your truth curled under it:

You make me nervous.

You make me mad.

But worse, you make me want to hope.

And I don’t know what to do with that.

A soft laugh bubbled from Jungwon’s throat. It felt... new. Not like the practiced chuckles he gave to classmates or the stiff polite ones he reserved for teachers. This one felt like sunshine cracking open in his chest.

sunoo said you looked pissed.

[Y/N]

Well, maybe tell Sunoo to mind his business.

That little traitor.

But... he’s not wrong.

I was pissed. Still am. But also, ugh. Why do I want him to keep texting me? NO, every text from him makes my head boil.

His chest ached in the sweetest, most unbearable way.

He barely realized what he was typing next.

you don’t like me much, do you.

The silence stretched just long enough to make him nervous. But your thoughts answered before your fingers did.

I don’t know how to not like you. I don’t know how I feel about you. That’s the problem.

You make me mad. But you also make my hands shake.

He sucked in a breath.

You were trying so hard to protect yourself. And yet, your walls had tiny cracks and through them, he could feel your heartbeat echoing like his.

[Y/N]

I don’t really know you.

A beat passed.

Then another.

Jungwon stared at those six words for a long time. And when he finally replied, it came from somewhere deeper.

This time, he didn’t hesitate.

then maybe let me fix that.

The words were barely on the screen before your thoughts fluttered again.

What does that even mean?

Is this how he talks to the other girls? That easy, casual charm?

God, I hate this. I hate how I want it to be different with me.

Is it stupid… that a part of me wants to say yes?

Jungwon pressed the phone to his chest, eyes closing for a second.

For once, the world was quiet.

Except for the soft, dangerous hope blooming between your mind and his.

And god… he hoped you could feel it too.

That night, Jungwon thought maybe his blessing wasn’t so bad after all. Not loud. Not suffocating. Just... quiet enough to feel like something sacred.

He fell asleep on his birthday without telling anyone what he’d received. No big announcement, no family expectation, no performance. Just him, alone with the memory of your thoughts that are honest and vulnerable echoing softly in his chest.

It might’ve been his favorite birthday yet.

Because for the first time in a long time, he dreamed not of pressure, pleasure, or perfection, but of you.

And when morning came, groggy and golden through his window, the first thing that surfaced in his mind wasn’t the dread of responsibility.

It was you.

Now, hours later, that same girl—the one who’d occupied his mind all night, maybe even all these years—was clinging to the back of his shirt, arms wrapped around his waist as his motorbike hummed down the empty road.

And Jungwon smiled, wind in his hair, heart louder than the engine.

masterlist.

sorry for another cliffhanger hehe, notes and comments are very much appreciated :D

permanent taglist:

@1starqi @imfuckingwhipped @moon0fthenight @jiawji @shawnyle @simja3 @babyboomysweetie @50-husbands @charlizefaye @anudocuments @ooriwoo @sa-brinaaa @luumiinaa @personallyminelol @yjwonsgf @lvvstruck @leah-rose03 @kanonjji @kyunlov @somuchdard @seongiewon @theothernads @luumiinaa @enhaverse713586 @lynanist @moriwori

@han-to-my-minho @hhyvsstuff @gardenwons @frankenstein852 @firstclassjaylee @lamin143 @serenadehera @elove2047 @cookiesha11 @enhamysunshines @tkooooop @lizdevorak @hoshilysm @meggxsxs @deluluscenarios @babyboomysweetie @tinycatharsis @leesolbeesol @jayjw16enxp @seongiewon @wonislife17 @lixiebokie @wonys-won @morganaawriterr @wonwon1e @rjssierjrie @won1yoiz @merakicafee @in-somnias-world @drunkjazed

@maewphoria @wondash @dawngyu @14-hibiscus @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @coucopuffs @minjeong28 @povjin @jaerisdiction @sweetwonieee @haerni @meowwwon @rooomeo @avadie @kyutiepeachy @jjongmi @hollxe1 @gyubindrift @i-am-not-dal @sumzysworld @jellymiki @cutehoons02 @bxcndd @tunafishyfishylike @rialikesbts @miumiuoi @tobiosbbyghorl @cherr-y-eji @tasnemluvs @lucysteponme @yoojiy @hayana-rchves @snesible @onlyywwon

[dreamersparacosm]

I read part 8 and I think my whole world shattered and left me gasping for air. Listen, I get OC, I get her and absolute care and devotion towards her job but come on, she can't do this, they didn't do anything wrong! I mean, having sex in the office is bad for sure but come on, they're two idiots who just caught up in the heat of the moment. One thing I dont like is how she literally blamed all Jungkook for what happened, like he did all that himself and she was just there existing, excuse me miss girl but you also wanted that, take responsibility!!!

She acts like she can't let anyone in and that all that matters is her job, but what kind of life is that MY GIRL PLEASEEEE, I BEG OF YOU THINK STRAIGHT!!! This story is giving me so many mixed feelings but I love each one of them, the whole plot and the characters inner struggles got me HOOKED DOWN BAD.

I also see how many people might think Kook went too far talking about her family but... in my view he wasn't wrong, he just said the truth, truth that she needs to face, i know he didn't mean to talk about them to hurt her or to get back at her, he was just being, again, real. I NEED THE NEXT PART, THIS IS GETTING ME ALL STRESSEDDDDDD. Also Daniel was a bit dramatic but I love that he didn't stab her back, bless.

-💆🏻‍♀️

this. THIS. this is the kind of feedback that has me kicking my feet and screaming into a pillow. the way you’re yelling at oc like she’s your problematic best friend? elite behavior. thank you for being seated in the front row of her intervention, we will invite you firsthand next time🙏

you’re so right, she did want it. she wanted it bad. she was not an innocent bystander in that conference room. but the thing about her is… she’s spent years building a version of herself that survives by staying in control. and the second she realizes she’s the one who chose this mess? that she wanted something she swore she’d never allow? her brain just blue screens. suddenly it’s allll jungkook’s fault because the alternative is too terrifying to sit with

and jungkook… oof. you’re spot on. did he say too much? yes. did he say anything untrue? no….. he knows her. (maybe better than she knows herself) and when someone you’ve let that close holds a mirror up to the ugliest parts of you, it feels like betrayal fr

also like DANIEL. my king. god bless him for not stabbing her in the back

thank you for loving these broken, stubborn, yearning people!!!! and thank you for yelling at my girl with me 🫶

[deathchic]

starting to get really annoyed at my brain for not giving me enough mental illness content in any one specific area. like yes i have obsessions and compulsions and weird specific anxieties that are only alleviated by doing things a very certain way yes ocd runs in my family no i absolutely do not have enough shit to get a diagnosis. i just have to like. put up with it.

[gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy]

Things I hate/ don't understand in the cursed child

- The whole ' Scorpius is the child of Voldemort rumor' Like Scorpius is literally a mini Draco™ why do the adult's believe this???

- Scorpius should have been a Hufflepuff ( I have a separate post that goes into details about this)

- Why is Harry such a dick to Albus? Like he's a terrible parent - and it's not like he treats James and Lily like it's JUST Albus.

- Why did they have too kill Astoria?! Stop killing the mom's! If you want Scorpius to have a tease home life just have her be very sick. You don't have too kill her!?

- Also can Scorpius die from this blood curse? I feel like this is super messed up.

- TIME TRAVEL. IT MAKES NO SENCE THAT TIME TURNERS WHERE DESTROYED.

- The fact that Scorpius likes rose. Like she hates his guts and treats him like shit and Scorpius is just like " That's kinda hot" like: ??????

- Why is Rose Draco Malfoy 2.0? She's an asshole to Albus for being in Slytherin and being friends with Scorpius. She also believes the Voldemort's Son rumour and like she has eyes right? Also she's Hermione Granger's daughter you really think Hermione whould let her child bully someone for something they can't control? After all she went through? No way.

- * Deep breath* Why the hell didn't Scorpius and Albus end up together?! This is queer bait! Like they spent teg entire play telling us how much they need and can't live without each other. Scorpius gets jealous fr when Delphi is flirting with Albus. So they should have been gay. Also the library seen is full of tension ™

- I dislike that they just thow Delphi in Azkaban, in my AU Draco adopts her and helps get with her child hood trama. #Stepsister Delphi

Also just think about the potential:

Interviewer: So is it true that your raising the child of Voldemort?

Draco: Yes but it's my Daughter not my Son many people get that wrong.

--

Yann: Scorpius your the child of Voldemort

Scorpius: no that's my sister not me common mistake

Yann: Huh?

Delphi: that's right I am the child of Voldemort and I will not hesitate to kill you if you don't get away from my little brother

-

Anyway that's all for now.

[b0rtney]

Being just some gambling guy in ghost city in book 2 of tgcf must be sooo fucking wild. Like, ur chengzhu who is known for saying things like “u could bet ur whole life and it wouldn’t be worth it bc ur life isn’t worth shit,” changes the rules so ppl have to bet against HIM to win the meat sack he’s got stapled to the ceiling. Ur reasonable so ur like “Um. No ty I choose to continue existing.” Some random guy with the best facial u have ever seen and a lil bamboo hat is like “I’ll do it :)” and has visibly never gambled before. Ur saluting him in precognitive mourning bc Ripppp lol. Then hua cheng, crimson rain sought fucking flower, is like “oh noooo ur shaking the cup wrong bestie come behind the curtain so I can show u how to do it <3” and you’ve gambled before so ur like “oh god he’s gonna kill him the poor sap w his stupid lil bamboo hat” but he goes up there, hua cheng holds his hands and genuinely shows him how to shake dice in a cup. U r kinda peeing urself laughing?? Bc wtf is this??? The poor sap rolls 3s and u r once again saluting him before he dies, but hua cheng— who was gonna let a guy lose 20 years and a happy marriage for his daughter five minutes ago— is like “nah it’s ok bb gorl that was a practice one <3 u can roll again” THIS HAPPENS THREE TIMES!!!! Some of the girls in the crowd are writing in-person fanfiction on the ghost equivalent of a phone notes app. FINALLY my mans rolls 6s and ur like “well fuck there must have actually been something to that cup shaking technique???” So the funky lil bamboo hat guy who has just spent like 20 minutes doing intimate pottery hand-holding cup shaking w ur chengzhu takes the guy stapled to the ceiling and starts to leave but NOT BEFORE HUA CHENG IS LIKE “babe,,, u promised me ur half-eaten bun qwq” and at this point even bamboo hat guy is like “r u fuckin fr rn??” But he gives it to him. Hua cheng accepts it as if it is worth an entire lifetime of joy, takes a bite while making direct eye contact w bamboo hat guy, then says “I’m going home and I’m taking bamboo hat guy w me” LIKE BRO???? IF I WERE A GHOST I WOULD BE CALLING LIU MINGYAN THE ESTEEMED FANFIC WRITER AND BUYING A COMMISSION SLOT ASKFJGKRK

[rat-prophetess]

10 and 9 from the pathologic ask game!

Ty!! :D

9- I think the only thing that stresses me out in terms of mechanics is the feeling that there's probably some important side quest/interaction/piece of information that didn't show up in the quest log or letters that I just totally forgot about. Also the fucking rats. I just want to catch you and put you in my pocket so I can bet on you in a race later! I love you stop trying to eat me! please you are such a small target to hit I just bought these boots.

10- !!! Everything! For so many reasons! I think overall it's just that it felt very familiar from the beginning.

[OK this might be long and somehow both tmi and boring at the same time, so uh feel free to skip.] *Shockingly*, I'm sure, I am in fact Officially Mentally Ill™ and my personal depression has a lot of dissociative symptoms attached. Unfortunately I grew up in a house where We Don't Believe In Mental Illness, so I spent a lot of years feeling absolutely nothing and just wandering around in this fog feeling like my body was just a marionette kind of moving on its own while I just watched and couldn't do anything about it. I was told that I was perfectly normal and there was nothing wrong with me at all (because if we all just pretend hard enough...) so I thought that was just it. If there's nothing wrong with me then there's nothing to fix and this is just how it is on this bitch of an earth, c'est la vie pas le paradis, etc. Life is just tracing the same paths over and over and nothing changing except that it kept falling apart and getting worse. I felt totally cut off from the rest of humanity because I didn't feel like a real person in the same way that everyone else was a real person.

Do you see where I'm going with this lolll. being dropped into Patho classic and feeling like there's just. something a little bit off all the time and no one else seems to notice it. The buildings are the wrong size inside; everything feels kind of artificial, like it might just be a stage set; sometimes you have the same conversations over and over. You trace the same routes day after day, and it really does feeling like being blood moving through a vein, and meanwhile everything is deteriorating around you. The characters are horrified and frustrated to learn that they're just dolls and feel helpless and like they have no control over their own actions or fates. So I was like HEY SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!! <333 They get me <3

It's always a relief to find a piece of art that makes you feel genuinely understood. Any experience/idea/belief that you have no way of communicating is really isolating, but as soon as someone else gives it a name or an image or a narrative form, it suddenly feels like a real shared human experience. It's like learning the word тоска and realizing oh, my language doesn't have a word for that feeling but there is a word for it! That's validation, babeyyyy! The whole game is like that. Also I'm v attached to the characters now. None of them are even a little ok at any time. <3 I love them. Everyone in the town is either queer, kind of fucked-up, or queer AND kind of fucked-up. High School Friend Group Simulator right there.

Ok sorry probably none of that makes sense bc it's almost 3am but uh. Good thing we're all used to reading long, cryptic dialogue that might be pretentious and makes no sense! It's thematic! Anyway I'll shut up now.

[sneezefiction]

soft shiratorizawa sleepover

Shiratorizawa x Reader - Sleepover Headcanons

request: “Hi can I request having a sleepover with Shiratorizawa?”

a/n: classic Gracie move, here. ultra fluffed up, on a Friday evening. please enjoy some soft, sleepover moments with our faves, Ushijima, Tendou, Semi, Goshiki, Shirabu, Reon, and Yamagata. 

warnings: none!

wc: 930

soft sleepovers - karasuno edition

---

you’ve been unofficially managing/supervising the Shiratorizawa team over the past couple months

but with their strict schedule and the fact that you joined them a bit late into their volleyball season, it’s been hard to actually get to know them

luckily, you and Tendou hit it off instantly, his curiosity gravitating toward the novelty of having a team manager

after expressing your wish to get to know the team better, the idea for a sleepover popped up in a playful convo between you and Tendou

i mean, you were definitely joking about it, but apparently Tendou had already presented the idea to Ushijima

and Ushi was totally chill with it??

he felt like you would manage the team better if you could see how everyone functioned outside of a high-pressure game

also i’m almost entirely positive that half of this team has never had a real sleepover

like, sure, they’ve spent the night together while away for practices games and tournaments, but they’ve never had one for the purpose of “hanging out” with each other

the team is surprised to hear that you’ll be joining them, but they’re genuinely excited to learn about you

lmao they might even be sort of intimidated esp since most of them are fr socially awkward

so be ready to actually get to know these boys, bc they’re all weird af

ps everyone will be invading Goshiki’s home for this wild, overnight endeavor

you arrive slightly late, but you’re welcomed with sounds of howling laughter and vibrant discussions that seem to be spiraling into loud arguments

Semi has Shirabu in some kind of headlock, wrestling him to the floor for being too pretentious

Tendou is already in his sleeping bag, but he’s not actually lying down... he’s hopping around in it

and Ushijima looks like he’s supervising the entire team, while still holding a glint of humor behind his gaze, enjoying the goofiness of his teammates outside of a gym for once

when they spot you at the doorway, your pillows and items in hand, everyone goes silent

and then Tendou rushes toward you, crashing headfirst into your body after losing balance in his absurdly heavy sleeping bag

you’re pretty much stuck under him, so Reon and Ushi have to lift Tendou off of you before Semi can give you a hand up

you thank Semi and turn to Tendou with a playful scowl on your face, his own cat-like grin is spreading the width of his cheeks

before he can react, you’ve smashed a pillow right into his head, leaving him slightly dizzy as he throws his pillow toward you… but it misses

...landing straight into Ushijima’s gorgeously sculpted face

everyone is too shocked by this to realize that Ushi has already picked up a pillow and aimed it at poor Goshiki

the power in Ushi’s pillow throw literally knocks him off his feet

yikes

don’t get me wrong, Ushijima doesn’t really get the concept of a “pillow fight,” but he’s willing to try anything at least once to understand it

this starts a full-send pillow war:

It’s you, Semi, Goshiki, and Yamagata VS Tendou, Ushijima, Shirabu, and Reon

and lemme tell you, IT IS BRUTAL.

you learn quickly about their inner team rivalries and the team’s extensively colorful language

this ends with lots of sweat, several bruises, and countless bursts of excited laughter

but when the game and adrenaline highs wear off, you’re all left lying on the floor

they all recover pretty quickly, but most of the 3rd years realize just how worn out you are from the amount of effort you just exerted

Semi flicks you in the side of your head and asks you some personal questions, but really the whole group is listening in, 

“Y/n, why’d you choose to help our team out? I’m sure you have a lot going on outside of all of this.”

you’re taken aback, having to process your answer… because truthfully friends weren’t easy to come by these days

you’d been searching for an opportunity to find community and be apart of something… and this management position seemed to be an open door to it

“You’d be surprised by my social life, Semi.” you say through a laugh, but it doesn’t sound funny

you’re amazed by the understanding faces surrounding you, some nodding, other just staring without judgment

because they could all relate

LITERALLY this short convo turns into a really sweet discussion about fears and problems, with some venting mixed in

It’s mostly you, Goshiki, Tendou, and Semi speaking, but in the end, everyone shares a little piece of their life with the group

which is all so weird for everyone on the team, but somehow your presence was the perfect set up for a Group Therapy Sleepover Session™ 

by the end of the night, you’re the one advising and listening to them, which is such a cozy turn of events

like, your heart is full & they’re actively being invested in by your sweet self

several of them (Ushijima, Semi, and Goshiki) fall asleep to the soothing sound of your voice

you just make them so comfortable

and as much as they should be the ones protecting you, you’re the one making them feel safe and put together

honestly, while i’d like to think that Shiratorizawa is always so cool and calm, i think they need hugs and softness too

sure, they’re tough and they get all of that intensity and energy out on the court 

but now that the team knows they have an outlet to get things off their chest and out into the airspace, they don’t want to lose it

and that’s when the bi-monthly, non-volleyball related Shiratorizawa sleepovers become mandatory

it’s pretty much the ultimate mental health booster and it gets wilder every time

so, you indeed get to know the boys well <3

—-

soft team sleepover series

soft karasuno sleepover

soft seijoh sleepover

soft nekoma sleepover

soft fukurodani sleepover (in progress)

—-

tags: @yams046, @cherryonigiri

(comment or send an ask to be added to my general tag list) 

[anyoneseenadam]

The Moon Spirit - One

Dorian x reader (throne of glass) (future fenrys x reader)

Description: When you’re taught to be a queen from such a young age, nothing could go wrong. But when the king starts to fear your growing power you find yourself thrust into a world of faeries, evil magic and powerful men, learning to stand on your own can be harder than it seems.

warnings: blood, graphic descriptions of violence, objectification, gross old men, Dorian is a ball of love and niceness however, angst, fluff, possibly smut in later chapters

word count: 4.5k

a/n: ahhhhh I’m finally writing this!! This has been in my head for so long now so I’m so glad I’m finally getting it down and I’m really excited to develop it further and possibly go into some poly!dorianxfenrysxreader but that shall all be revealed soon lmao, pls comment and let me know your opinions and theories and shiz it always makes my day!!!

—————————————————————————-

“Wake up.” You felt insistent tapping on your forearm, groaning as you shook it off, turning onto your side and burrowing deeper into your soft duvet. “C’mon wake up princess,” your brain barely registered Dorian’s whining as you groaned in return, throwing and arm out behind you and batting at his firm chest.

“Go away.” You moaned as you felt a firm body land on top off yours. Dorian pressed his face in between your shoulder blades as his arms wormed their way beneath your stomach, warm fingertips massaging the skin of your belly as you cracked open an eye, albeit reluctantly.

“I have to say all those lessons in ladylike manners sure paid off.” You heard Chaol’s sarcastic voice and turned your head just enough to glare at him as well as he sat comfortably on the armchair next to your fireplace.

“I also have lots of lessons in stabbing rude boys, shall I demonstrate those,” you grumbled, flipping him off before shaking your clingy boyfriend away, sitting up in bed and glaring at both of them as they laughed at your disgruntled expression. “What do you want and why are you waking me up?”

“Well, my love,” Dorian moved behind you to gently start brushing your hair as you hummed in delight at the attention, both of you ignoring Chaol’s eye roll, “It is your birthday isn’t it?”

“So you choose to torment me?” you asked as Dorian stood again, smiling at you boyishly as he moved around your room, tidying away clothes.

“Well seventeen is a big one,” he wiggled his eyebrows at you and Chaol moved to translate as you stood and made your way to your bathroom where a bath had already been run for you, the hot water smelling of expensive soaps and salts.

“We have to make appearances today, and there’s a ball tonight.” Your shoulders slumped as you realised what your day entailed.

“Appearances?” you gave your friend a pleading look, but he just shrugged his shoulders sympathetically.

“Carriage through the city, the whole point in the public seeing you so much is to dampen any threat of revolution and they haven’t seen the two of you together recently. Your birthday is as good a time as any.” The older boy explained as your dark-haired prince moved closer to you, wrapping his arms tightly around you and kissing your head.

“I know it sucks princess, but if we make the rounds this morning, we’ll have all afternoon to ourselves before the ball.”

“I don’t like being a show pony.” You grumbled as the familiar frustration prickled behind your eyes, tears forming on what was supposed to be a happy day for you.

Chaol and Dorian averted their gazes at your words, both feeling a deep sense of guilt over something they truly couldn’t control. You had spoken of this before, only in confidence to them; Dorian the love of your life and Chaol alike a brother to you, you had told them how you felt like a toy, a shiny thing for the king to display, waved around in front of the public until you were drained, and they were putting artificial colour onto your face. You had once described it as being alike a corpse in makeup, dragged around for others entertainment as you slowly rotted and decayed until you were unrecognisable.

“I’ll be there the entire time my love, when it gets too much I’ll drag the attention away from you okay?” you nodded as he stroked your arm reassuringly.

“I love you,” you said to him as you leaned up to kiss him gently.

“I love you too baby, happy birthday.”

Chaol walked past as he left the room so you could clean, ruffling your hair as he passed. “Maybe next year you’ll grow,” he mocked, narrowly missing your smack as the three of you laughed.

“Clean up, we’ll be waiting when you’re ready,” Dorian pressed another kiss to your head before he was dragged out of the room, his grin easy as you waved him away.

--

You washed quickly without the help of the maids that usually surrounded you. You presumed that was a birthday present from Dorian as he knew how much you despised the bustling groups of women that would preen over your every feature.

You spent half the bath scrubbing off layers of dead skin and the other massaging your hair until it had no option but to shine in the morning light. Cleaning your face and dragging a razor over any visible body hair as you repeated the rules you were taught in your head.

1.      Never look anything less than perfect. A queen must look put together.

2.      Always stand straight.

3.      Never smile with your teeth.

4.      Wave to children only, adults get a polite head bow.

5.      Speak once spoken too and only if given permission from the Crown prince…

The list went on for what seemed like hours and at one point you had it written down and pinned on your wall next to your mirror, reading it every day. The first four years you had spent under the king’s care were the same. Lessons followed by more lessons, restrictive diets, and waist training. They broke you down and remodelled you into the perfect queen, and throughout those lonely years you never once saw Dorian, excluding the first time you met as children.

Only when you were twelve did you see him again, and from then on you did everything together. When he sword trained you practiced ballet, when he read, you read, when he ate, you ate. You became one person, never doing something without the other, Chaol turning your duo into a trio soon after.

When you turned fourteen he kissed you. You both knew you were to be married one day, but one snowy day he had pulled you aside and kissed you quickly, face as red as the roses your mother used to grow every summer. He had asked you to be his girlfriend, speaking so quickly you barely heard him as you held in laughs at your usually so composed prince. You had nodded in response and he kissed you again, holding your hand tightly as the two of you escaped the castle for the night, determined as he was to take you on a real date.

You dried quickly when you got out the bath, rubbing your favourite lavender scented hand cream into your hands and neck. You towelled your hair off and dressed quickly, mindful of the delicate necklace that always hung around your neck, the one that secured your place in the glass castle. Even if you didn’t know why.

Your dress was dusty blue with silver stitching, the king and queen liking when you and Dorian sticked to a theme. You thumbed some silver earrings in and adorned your wrists in similar dainty, silver bracelets, finally twisting your hair into a low bun and pinning away the loose strands, applying minimal makeup.

You heard a soft knock at the door before it pushed open, a familiar mop of dark hair appearing at an odd angle from behind the door. You smiled when you saw him, unable to escape the rush of feelings that appeared whenever he walked in a room, all easy smiles and suave manner.

He sauntered over to you with a cheeky smile, his hands hiding something behind his back.

“Maybe Chaol was right about the height thing,” he commented when he reached you, your similar heights long gone as you both grew into your bodies, the days of being young and without consequences gone.

You jabbed him in the rib jokingly, “It’s my birthday and all I’ve gotten so far is abuse.”

“Let me change that then,” he pressed a kiss to the underside of your jaw, and you shut your eyes, revelling in the attention from your lover. He pulled away and revealed the flat box he was holding. “I know you can’t take your necklace off, but I thought this would go nicely with it,” he opened the box in your direction, and you looked down at a beautiful gold necklace with a circular pendant showing an opalescent crescent moon with three stars on the gold plating it rested on.

“Oh Dorian,” you whispered, picking the necklace up gently to admire it.

“Of course I have a million other presents waiting for you later, I have to treat my best girl,” he scrunched his face up in the way that always reminded you that he too was just a boy, despite his lessons. You loved these gentle moments when you both let your masks drop, and instead focused on the true love you shared, a lack of care for the way it was pushed. You instead focused on the luck that had given you a man you could truly love, through all the pain and harsh words, the world had given you someone to endure its hardships with, and for that you would remain grateful.

“Put it on for me?” you smiled at him, biting your lip gently as he turned you around, clasping the necklace that sat perfectly under your crystal behind you neck, his fingers soft and gentle as they trailed down the chain and settled between your collarbones, his touch almost wary of the stone as he moved to stand in front of you.

He seemed like he was about to say something but clearly decided against it, instead reaching to tug some strands of hair down to frame your face, twirling them in his long fingers.

“We’ll be fine today, it’s only an hour or two.” He said, his voice steady and sure, his courage coursing through you as he cupped your face lightly.

“We will be. We always are.” You moved away and sat to pull on your shoes as Dorian checked his sword was hanging safely from his side still before he picked up a light shawl, slinging it around your shoulder and linking arms with you.

“The city awaits my love,”

--

Chaol was escorting you through the courtyard when you were surrounded by a fleet of soldiers, exchanging a worried glance with Dorian.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, his arm tightening around you as he and Chaol both scanned the area.

“Yes your highness, however a rather dangerous prisoner is being taken to the king, so we are simply on high alert.” A guard you recognised said, Dorian frowned but you all continued onwards, only slowing when you passed an ever-larger group of guards. When you passed them you looked to the centre where a beautiful girl with a tear-stained face stood, being dragged along, her blonde hair matted with blood and dirt. She locked eyes with you, and you felt a pulse of power go through your body, her turquoise eyes widening for a second as time seemed to slow around you, a soft glow emitting from your neck. However before you could ponder it she was dragged away, and Dorian was asking you a question.

“Huh?” you asked quietly, mind occupied by the strange, beautiful girl.

“What do you think she did?” he asked, his grin cheeky.

“Maybe she steals princes hearts and eats them,” you joked, nudging his side even though your smile didn’t feel real, hiding your shaking hands behind the pleats of your skirt.

“Shame mine has already been stolen,” he flirted, and you laughed genuinely as he helped you into the carriage, pushing down the thoughts of the girl and the anxiety that surged through you as you prepared to plaster on a fake, placid smile.

“I haven’t eaten it yet though,” he laughed, joining you and squeezing your hand.

“Save it for dessert.”

--

The rest of your day passed slowly. Practiced waves and polite conversation taking up a majority of your morning as you tried to keep a pleasant facial expression when all you wanted was to curl up with your very cute boyfriend and sleep your birthday away.

You hated being put on display, the way you were shown off like a shiny toy and your hand was frequently finding Dorians, holding his tightly while you dug your nails into the palm of your other hand, the biting pain reminding you that you were in fact human.

By the end of the long, slow loop of Adarlan your shoulders were aching, and your mouth hurt from the still, soft expression you had kept it in. However you didn’t let your shoulders drop as you moved swiftly through the castle, Dorian by your side and Chaol a pace behind. Instead you only let your shoulders fall when you reached your room as you squealed, clapping your hands together and turning to Dorian with wide eyes when you saw the copious amounts of presents laid out for you.

“Dorian this is too much!” you exclaimed as you tackled him in a hug.

“Nothing is too much for you angel.” He muttered, kissing your head as you practically swooned in his arms.

“You read too much romance,” you said, ducking your head to hide your heated face.

“Plus a solid twenty percent are from me,” Chaol said, and you turned, hugging the tall man tightly too.

“Thank you!” you held your hands to your face, biting the tips of your thumbs like you used to as a child as Dorian led you to the seats where the presents were placed.

“I think this one needs to be opened first,” he said, a glint in his eyes that you couldn’t place as he passed you a large but light box. You opened the lid cautiously as Dorian exchanged excited looks with his brother. You were met by a ball of white fur, bright blue eyes blinking up at you and you gasped.  

You placed a hand over your heart as you reached into the box, picking up the kitten that was roughly the size of your hand and cooing gently as you stroked it, tears filling your eyes. You looked up at Dorian and he smiled at you as you pressed the furball into your chest, nuzzling its soft head.

“I found it abandoned on a street and had to take it home,” he explained, “He doesn’t have a name yet.”

You wiped away a tear that had escaped as they laughed at your emotional state, “Amaris,” you whispered, still choked up, “My little ball of light.”

You leaned into Dorian’s arm and kissed him gently in thanks, his head coming over your shoulder as you cooed at the small kitten that was pawing at your hand like new parents.

“As sweet as this is we’re going to be here for hours if you take this long on everything,” you stuck your tongue out at Chaol, placing Amaris in your lap as you were passed more presents. You ended up opening many presents for Amaris, Dorian sheepishly explaining that he got slightly carried away, countless books, dresses, hair pins and bags filled with sweets from all over the world.

By the time you were finished you all felt slightly sick from the taffy you had shared but the aches left from your smiles were real this time. Maids came in to clear away the wrapping paper and dishes Dorian had ordered up when he realised you hadn’t had any substantial food yet that day.

“I should go, we’ve got dinner then the ball in an hour and I can hear the maids outside,” Dorian said late that afternoon, his arms tight around you as you snoozed on his chest, Chaol having left to complete his duties for the day, not having the luxury to laze around like you and Dorian, and Amaris curled on Dorian’s chest next to your head.

“Do you have too?” you whined, and Dorian laughed,

“Yes, now c’mon. Wear the gold dress tonight,” he was referring to an intricate rose pink and gold dress he had bought you, currently hanging on the screen in your room, the matching tiara in a velvet case on your vanity. You looked over to it with heart eyes, wondering how you got so lucky before you sat up and Dorian marvelled at you, eyes puffy from your nap and lips parted and pouty. He reached up and stole a kiss, dragging your bottom lip between his teeth before deepening the kiss with a hand on the back of your head. He pressed into your body, his tongue seeking out yours and you moaned softly into the kiss, his grin a promise of more to come later in the evening.

He pulled away too soon, leaving you breathless and left with a wink as you were surrounded by a sea of flustered maids, getting swept up in the lace and satin, the rush of the room silencing your mind for the time being.

--

You sat next to Dorian on a velvet seat, Dorian’s hand protectively resting on your knee as you spoke to the duke and duchess of some shit you didn’t care about. They were speaking about their fifth horse when you felt a sharp gaze on you and turned to see the king staring at you with his cold eyes, and for a second you felt that pulse of power again, the Duke cut off mid-sentence as the world slowed. You tore your eyes away quickly, clenching them shut as the image of the blonde girl came back into your head, Dorian gazing at you with worry as he excused the two of you.

“What happened?” he asked, leading you to dance as you forced yourself back into your practiced facial expression, the mask slipping on hiding your fear.

You placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned into his embrace, “I need to talk to you about something that happened today,” you whispered low enough for him to hear.

“Are you okay? Did someone do something?” he asked, grip tightening slightly as he led you in a waltz.

“Not quite, I’ll tell you when we can go somewhere more private.” You peered over his shoulder and met the kings’ eyes again, watching as he spoke lowly to Chaol who turned slightly pale before bowing and making his way over to you.

“May I but in,” he asked, and Dorian nodded, still watching you cautiously as he passed you to Chaol.

“The king wishes to speak to you after the ball, he says it’s the first thing you have to do.” He told you quietly and it took all your training to mask your fear.

“Did he say why?” you asked, taking a deep breath when he shook his head. “Okay, that’s fine. Thank you for letting me know.” You finished your dance with Chaol before carrying on with Dorian, occasionally having to entertain a noble who would breathe heavily in your ear for ten minutes before Dorian found an excuse to steal you back, giggling like the teenagers you were as you did.

When the ball ended and everyone began filing out, all wishing you a happy birthday and you and Dorian a happy future you felt the ball of anxiety that had been in your stomach all night grow, consuming your entire being and swallowing you whole.

“Are you sure you’re okay going alone?” Dorian asked for the fourth time and you faked a laugh to appease his nerves.

“He probably just wants to let me know of new duties now I’m older, I’ll not be long.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“But why won’t he let me or Chaol escort you,” he looked concerned, his trust in his father depleting as he grew older.

“Probably because you’ve both been drinking,” you squeezed his hand as his shoulders slumped, “I’ll be fine.”

“Come up to my room as soon as you’re done okay?” you smiled at his concern, placing a hand over your new necklace, and walking back, away from him.

“Promise.” You blew him a kiss, “see you in a minute, I love you.”

--

You knew something was wrong even before you walked in the room as you watched the queen walk out, eyes red. Her breath stopped when she saw you and she looked as if she were about to come over to speak to you, but shook her head, continuing on with a tight smile.

The guards opened the doors to the large throne room, escorting you into the dark room.

The king sat alone.

The room was dark, lit only by the light of the full moon coming in from the glass walls and ceiling. He sat on his burnished throne; his crown lopsided on his head as he swirled a goblet of blood red wine.

You stepped forward, head bowed, posture never faltering as your mind travelled back to the way you had watched your grandmother stand up to him as well, only to pass away less than a month later leaving you with no real family.

“It’s a shame really,” he started, voice low and gravelly and you stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. “You were truly doing so well, and Dorian the poor boy, this will affect him greatly I presume.”

You fought the bile rising in your stomach at the implications of what he was saying, but kept your mouth shut.

“And I have been nothing but fair, giving you all you could ever dream of and keeping you on a tight leash. But I suppose teenage girls will always want to disobey.” He stood then, motioning to the guards who came and kicked you down, landing on your knees harshly with a yelp as you looked up at the approaching king with fear in your eyes.

He reached you, his hand stroking your cheek lightly before trailing down to your necklaces, gently twirling the stone between your collarbones before holding the one Dorian had gifted you tightly.

“Hmm, tacky,” was all he said before tugging harshly, ripping the necklace of you, and throwing it to the side. “I guess I’ve dragged this out enough now.”

You were shaking were you sat, tears slowly trailing down your face but still to afraid to say a word, even as a guard you didn’t recognise approached you, drawing his sword as the others held you tightly. Your eyes widened, fear seeping in as you started fighting the guards, desperately thrashing in their grips as you met the kings’ eyes.

“You can’t do this,” you begged but it was futile as he laughed in your face, “Please it will destroy Dorian, he is your son please don’t do this.”

“It builds character, a strong king needs to be broken.”

“What about the public! They will figure it out, you can’t spin this one.” You were pulling at strings, but you had to try anything you could.

“I AM KING! WHATVER I SAY GOES, WHATEVER I SAY IS THE TRUTH!” he exploded, and you started sobbing, begging for your life as the king turned away, gesturing for the guard to continue. You were shaking, pulling away from the guards as you fought against their death grip.

You watched the guard raise the sword above his head, squeezing your eyes shut as you sent a prayer to any god that was listening. As you prayed, clutching your necklace letting loose sobs and cried for Dorian you failed to notice the glow emitting from you. You heard the guard step forward to slash down and raised your hands to brace for the blow, a blow that never came.

You looked up to see the three guards that were next to you were all sliced in half, blood spilling onto the floor. You screamed pushing away, slipping on the blood as you tore away sobbing as the king turned to you, face white with fear and rage.

“GET HER!” he screamed but you had already begun running, skirts bunched in your hands, the glow around you shielding you from their arrows as you tore through the doors and into the courtyard, running as fast as your legs would allow, dropping yours arms as the full force of the moons light hit you. You saw a path you and Dorian often took to sneak out and headed for it, hiding behind the mock door that was covered in shrubbery, a hand pressed to your mouth as you muffled your sobs hearing the guards stopping nearby, speaking in hushed tones.

You felt something wet press against your leg and almost screamed, looking down to see Amaris gazing up at you with those bright, unblinking eyes. You held in your sobs, picking him up and pressing him into your chest as you quietly made your way down the path that led to the woods, walking in the moon veiled forest.

Your dress was bloody and torn, your delicate heels had snapped, and your feet were tearing from where you stepped having removed them. You ran through the woods, heading as far away as you could get, however you eventually had to slow walking and holding in your sobs as you realised what you had done.

Not only had you used magic, but you had also killed three men and left Dorian. You held Amaris tighter to your chest as he licked at you gently, your necklace still glowing even thought your entire body ached, ready for rest. But you ploughed on, coming out of the forest onto an empty dirt road.

You sat down for a second, letting Amaris down as you sobbed into your hands until you had no tears left, your entire body still shaking. But you forced yourself to stand, picking up Amaris and walking down the road, luckily finding a small farm with horses.

You quietly took a horse, placing down your tiara in its place, wishing you could apologise more but instead mounting the horse and leaving, riding into the night, tears drying on your face as you held your light close with one hand. You wished you could just wake up, wrapped in Dorians arms as he comforted you after your bad dream, but the pain in your body suggested that wasn’t going to happen.

You wanted Dorian but you needed a plan. And you needed a drink.

--

Chaol stood in the throne room, his hand clenched so tight his knuckles were white as he watched the king spin his story of your sudden disappearance, the sound of Dorians silent cries breaking his heart.

When they were excused he dragged Dorian to his room, where he finally broke down, falling to his knees and sobbing into his hands, muttering about how he should have protected her.

“Dorian I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now, but I think something bad happened to (y/n).” he said, approaching his brother cautiously as he looked at him with wide, tear filled eyes.

“What?” he asked, his voice breaking in his throat. Chaol finally unclenched his hand and passed what he had been holding to Dorian.

The gold necklace was caked with blood.

[killianmesmalls]

On your comments about Jack: ye-es, in the sense that Jack is a character who definitely deserved better than he was treated by the characters. The way Dean especially treats him reflects very badly on Dean, no question. But, speaking as a viewer, I think the perspective needs to shift a little bit.

To me, Jack is Dawn from Buffy, or Scrappy Doo. He’s an (in my opinion) irritating kid who is introduced out of nowhere to be both super vulnerable and super OP, and the jeopardy is centered around him in a way that has nothing to do with his actual character or relationships. He’s mostly around to be cute and to solve or create problems — he never has any firm character arcs or goals of his own, nor any deeper purpose in the meta narrative. In this way, he’s a miss for SPN, which focuses heavily on conflicts as metaphors for real life.

Mary fits so much better in that framework, and introducing her as a developed, flawed person works really well with the narrative. It is easy for us to care about Mary, both as the dead perfect mother on the pedestal and as the flawed, human woman who could not live up to her sons’ expectations. That connection is built into the core of SPN, and was developed over years, even before she was a character. When she was added, she was given depth and nuance organically, and treated as a flawed, complex character rather than as a plot device or a contrivance. She was given a voice and independence, and became a powerful metaphor for developing new understandings of our parents in adulthood, as well as an interesting and well-rounded character. You care that she’s dead, not just because Sam and Dean are sad, but for the loss of her development and the potential she offered. So, in that sense, I think a lot of people were frustrated that she died essentially fridged for a second time, and especially in service of the arc of a weaker character.

And like, you’re right, no one can figure out if Jack is a toddler or a teenager. He’s both and he’s neither, because he’s never anything consistently and his character arc is always “whatever the plot needs it to be.” Every episode is different. Is he Dean’s sunny opportunity to be a parent and make up for his dad’s shitty parenting? Yes! Is he also Dean’s worst failure and a reminder that he has done many horrible things, including to “innocent” children? Yes! Is he Cas’s child? Yes! Is he Dean’s child? Yes! But also, no! Is he Sam’s child? Yes! Is he a lonely teenager who does terrible things? Yes! Is he a totally innocent little lamb who doesn’t get why what he is doing is wrong? Yes! Is he the most powerful being in the universe? Yes! Does he need everyone to take care of him? Yes! Is he just along for the ride? Yes! Is he responsible for his actions? Kinda??? Sometimes??? What is he???

Mary as a character is narratively cohesive and fleshed-out. Jack is a mishmash of confusing whatever’s that all add up to a frustrating plot device with no consistent traits to latch on to. Everything that fans like about him (cute outfits, gender play, well-developed parental bonds with the characters) is fanon. So, yes, the narrative prioritizes Mary. Many fans prioritize Mary, at least enough that Dean’s most heinous acts barely register. To the narrative (not to Cas, which is a totally different situation), Jack is only barely more of a character than Emma Winchester, who Sam killed without uproar seasons earlier. He’s been around longer, but he’s equally not really real.

I debated on responding to this because, to tell the truth, I think we fundamentally disagree on a number of subjects and, as they say, true insanity is arguing with anyone on the internet. However, you spent a lot of time on the above and I feel it's only fair to say my thoughts, even if I don't believe it will sway you any more than what you said changed my opinions.

I'm assuming this was in response to this post regarding how Jack's accidental killing of Mary was treated so severely by the brothers, particularly Dean, because it was Mary and, had it been a random character like the security guard in 13x06, it would have been treated far differently. However, then the argument becomes less about the reaction of the Winchester brothers to this incident and more the value of Jack or Mary to the audience.

I believe we need to first admit that both characters are inherently archetypes—Mary as the Madonna character initially then, later, as a metaphor for how imperfect and truly human our parents are compared to the idol we have as children, and Jack as the overpowered child who is a Jesus allegory by the end. Both have a function within the story to serve the Winchester brothers, through whose lens and with whose biases we are meant to view the show's events. We also need to admit that the writers didn't think more than a season ahead for either character, especially since it wasn't initially supposed to be Mary that came back at the end of season 11 but John, and they only wrote enough for Jack in season 13 to gauge whether or not the audience would want him to continue on or if he needed to be killed off by the end of the season. Now, I know we curate our own experiences online which leads to us being in our own fandom echo chambers, however it is important to note that the character was immediately successful enough with the general audience that, after his first episode or two, he was basically guaranteed a longer future on the show.

I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure why the perspective of how his character is processed by some audience members versus others has any bearing on the argument that he deserved to be treated better overall by the other characters especially when taking their own previous actions in mind. I’m not going to tell you that your opinion is wrong regarding your feelings for Jack. It’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it, it harms no one to have it and express it. My feelings on Jack are clearly very different from your own, but this is really just two different people who processed a fictional person in different ways. I personally believe he has a purpose in the Winchesters’ story, including Castiel’s, as he reflects certain aspects of all of them, gives them a way to explore their own histories through a different perspective, and changes the overall dynamic of Team Free Will from “soldiers in arms” to a family (Misha’s words). In the beginning he allows Sam to work through his past as the “freak” and powerful, dangerous boy wonder destined to bring hell on earth. With Dean, his presence lets Dean work through his issues with John and asks whether he will let history repeat itself or if he’ll work to break the cycle. Regarding Cas, in my opinion he helps the angel reach his “final form” of a father, member of a family, lover and protector of humanity, rebellious son, and the true show of free will. 

From strictly the story, he has several arcs that work within themes explored in Supernatural, such as the argument of nature versus nurture, the question of what we’re willing to give up in order to protect something or someone else and how ends justify the means, and the struggle between feeling helpless and powerless versus the corruptive nature of having too much power and the dangerous lack of a moral compass. His goals are mentioned and on display throughout his stint on the show, ones that are truly relatable to some viewers: the strong desire to belong—the need for family and what you’ll do to find and keep it. 

With Mary, we first need to establish whether the two versions of her were a writing flaw due to the constant change in who was dictating her story and her relationship to the boys, which goes against the idea that her characterization was cohesive and fleshed-out but, rather, put together when needed for convenience, or if they both exist because, as stated above, we are seeing the show primarily through the biased lens of the Winchester brothers and come to face facts about the true Mary as they do. Like I said in my previous post, I don’t dislike Mary and I don’t blame her for her death (either one). However, I do have a hard time seeing her as a more nuanced, fleshed-out character than Jack. True, a lot of her problems are more adult in nature considering she has to struggle with losing her sons’ formative years and meeting them as whole adults she knows almost nothing about, all because of a choice she made before they were born. 

However, her personal struggles being more “mature” in nature (as they center primarily on parental battles) doesn’t necessarily mean her story has layers and Jack’s does not. They are entirely different but sometimes interconnected in a way that adds to both of their arcs, like Mary taking Jack on as an adoptive son which gives her the moments of parenting she lost with Sam and Dean, and Jack having Mary as a parental figure who understands and supports him gives him that sense of belonging he had just been struggling with to the point of running away while he is also given the chance to show “even monsters can do good”. 

I’d also argue that Jack being many ages at once isn’t poor writing so much as a metaphor for how, even if you’re forced to grow up fast, that doesn’t mean you’re a fully equipped adult. I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I believe Jack simultaneously taking a lot of responsibility and constantly trying to prove to others he’s useful while having childish moments is relatable to some who were forced to play an adult role at a young age. He proves a number of times that he doesn’t need everyone to take care of him, but he also has limited life experience and, as such, will make some mistakes while he’s also being a valuable member of the group. Jack constantly exists on a fine line in multiple respects. Some may see that as a writing flaw but it is who the character was conceived to be: the balance between nature or nurture, between good and evil, between savior and devil. 

Now, I was also frustrated Mary was “fridged” for a second time. It really provided no other purpose than to give the brothers more man pain to further the plot along. However, this can exist while also acknowledging that the way it happened and the subsequent fallout for Jack was also unnecessary and a sign of blatant hypocrisy from Dean, primarily, and Sam. 

And, yes, Jack can be different things at once because, I mean, can’t we all? If Mary can be both the perfect mother and the flawed, independent, distant parent, can’t Jack be the sweet kid who helps his father-figures process their own feelings on fatherhood while also being a lost young-adult forcing them to face their failures? Both characters contain multitudes because, I mean, we all do. 

I can provide articles or posts on Jack’s characterization and popularity along with Mary’s if needed, but for now I think this is a long enough ramble on my thoughts and feelings. I’m happy to discuss more, my messenger is always open for (polite) discussion. Until then, I’m going to leave it at we maybe agree to disagree. 

[btwxsixesandsevens]

Just a Gigolo

For @atiena-m who requested "A Hug That Goes On Too Long".

I'm not sure this is what you had in mind, but whew, it is good.

Summary: Sarah goes for a ladies’ night out. Cue an awful, embarrassing, no good, very bad night.

Tags: SarahBucky, Drunkenness, Strip Clubs

This is the first chapter of Jazz Standards, Vol 2.

I recommend heading over to Ao3 and following my collection so you know when the updates happen. Updates here will be...you know...whatever whenever.

Let's get to it!

Bucky had gotten used to being the one who sent emergency text messages. He wasn’t expecting to get one.

Bucky this is aymie sarahs friend

Where’s Sarah? Is she okay?

Aok I need a hand

WHAT IS WRONG.

Chill yelling fr?

Aymie, can you please

Why are you on her phone?

We need a ride

Aren’t you at the party for Zuze’s wedding?

Yeah our dd bailed I was gonna call Uber

No. I’ll come. I’m putting my shoes on now.

Text me the address.

Luckily, Sam was in town. He’d stopped being difficult — only took a few months — and was comfortably reclining on his bed in his room, flipping through the channels while texting with someone. He didn’t want Bucky to know who.

Bucky knocked once on the door then let it swing open.

“I have to run to get Sarah and Aymie. You good here with the boys?”

Sam arched a careful eyebrow at him. “They were my nephews before they were your…whatever.”

“Sure. That’s something it is important to argue about. Doesn’t answer the question.”

“Yeah, it’s cool. They’re sleep anyway.”

“If AJ wakes up, he likes his chocolate milk slightly warmed for the best back to bed experience…” Bucky advised with an air of experience.

“You spoiling them now?”

“I don’t see how a warm drink after a bad dream is spoiling.”

“Get out of here, Mr. Trying To Be The Favorite”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, Mr. Was The Favorite When He Was The Only.”

Sam threw the remote at Bucky as he retreated out of the room.

Bucky’s phone beeped with the address for the bar.

The Lush Life

Then another text.

Bucky. This is shrsh.

Sarah?

Yeah my phone. Aymie stol.

How are you? Are you okay?

Fine. Warm. <heart emoji, star emoji, eggplant emoji>

Aymie said you needed a ride. I’m on my way.

<eggplant emoji. Water emoji. Peach emoji. Heart emoji.> I love you.

Bucky looked at his phone. He’d just worked out smiley faces, emoji text was a whole other level. Topped with an I love you? He spent a solid minute flipping back through all their previous texts. Yes, that was the first time she’d ever said, or texted, those words together. What was going on?

It was a Friday night. Saturday was Sarah and Sam’s cousin Susan’s wedding. Everyone called her Zuze. She was marrying a guy named Kahlil that everyone thought was okay, even though he was a vegetarian and sometimes tried to sell them herbs. He was harmless. And, according to Sarah, his skin glowed like a new born babe, which meant he was healthy at least. The compliment had Bucky investigating his face in the mirror that morning, wondering if it was time to give the Steve-beard a try. As it was the night before the wedding, Sarah and the rest of the women were out. Sam had briefly gone to Kahlil’s men’s night, but left when they all started smoking weed. Bucky was thankful he’d gotten to spend the might at home with the boys. He and Sam were bound for NYC Sunday night.

Bucky came to the address. The Lush Life was packed, with a line of men at the door that stretched most of the block. All men. Bucky circled till he found a parking spot, then pulled out his phone. Why would Sarah and Aymie be at an all-male bar?

The Lush Life. On the website, it said:

Open Wednesday through Sunday for all your dancing and drinking needs.

<strong>Wednesday:</strong> DJ Klerank of the NightCru Spins 90s Dance

<strong>Thursday:</strong> The Light Show — the best in Darkwave and Post-Punk

<strong>Friday:</strong> The Passage — All Male Revue. No men admitted until after show is over.

<strong>Saturday:</strong> The Temple — The Hottest Floor in NOLA, see Coming Events for featured DJ

<strong>Sunday:</strong> The Wunderbar — All Pride All Night Long

A Male Revue. Bucky knew what that was — a nightclub act with singing, dancing, jokes, all done by men. That made sense for a women’s night out. It also made sense that, once the show was over, they’d let the men in. A good time would be had by all. He needed to get inside before that good time went wrong.

Bucky stood on the corner to assess the situation. The line was not moving, was in fact getting longer, so the revue must still be going on. Through the open door, he could hear women’s voices hooting and barking. There was no way he could stand in that line to wait to get to Sarah. It would take too long. He had to find another way in. But once inside, he’d be the only man there. That would probably get him kicked out, he reasoned. A group of three women came out of the club. They were young, giggling uncontrollably. He stopped them.

“Excuse me, just checking, the show still going on?”

“Yeah,” they nodded.

“You better get in there tiger, it is a good night to shoot your shot.”

“Yeah, there’s some <em>old</em> thirsty women in there tonight.”

“No, I’m here to pick up a friend who’s working,” he lied. “Did you see any men tending bar, tanned skin, beard?”

“Couple dudes in there behind the bar, I didn’t look too hard at ‘em.”

“I think there was one looked like that working security though.”

“Ah, yeah, maybe he got moved to security. I wish I could wait at the back door for him…”

“Check the alley,” they all pointed in the same direction. “That’s how we got out.”

“Thank you ladies, appreciate the help.”

“Speaking of which,” one of them elbowed another, “he’s kinda your type, KT?”

They all broke up laughing as the one, KT, protested that she liked her men shorter.

Bucky picked up several important things from the exchange.

The shape and size of the hand stamp that showed they’d paid to get in. Not that he could replicate it.

That there were men inside, working both the bar and the door, so once in, he had a chance of blending in.

Third, the location of the back door.

As he headed that way, the cheering from inside cresendo’d, leading to a shuffling of feet as the men outside got into position. If he timed his entrance through the back with the opening of the front door, he wouldn’t have to pretend to be an employee. That would be a lucky break.

In the alley a trickle of women, over heated and sweaty, all smelling of sweet alcohol and perfume, were coming out of the back door. He texted Sarah to come out the back door, got no response. His call went direct to voicemail. She must have turned her phone off.

He managed to catch the door open as a group left. He slipped in, cool as he could, only to be caught face to face with a bouncer who, while not much taller than him, was much wider. Bucky sighed.

“Hey, hey there, sneaking in?” accused the bouncer.

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t want to fight this guy. But he didn’t have a good excuse for why he was coming in the exit. Oh well, the truth it was then.

“I’m just looking for my girlfriend…” he said.

“I bet. Wait outside, or pay and come in the front door with the rest of the second course.”

“No, really, she called me and she needs a ride…”

The bouncer, predictably, was unimpressed. “Yeah yeah, tell it walking. The front door or not at all.” He made as if to give Bucky a little shove, from which Bucky retreated. He didn’t need to get triggered in the back of a bar, that would end badly for everyone.

He stepped back outside to evaluate the building further.

The building was all one entity, no signs or anything indicating additional businesses inside. From the front, the left side and rear both had alleys. The regulation number of exits, no more. The building was flush against a building next to it on the right side. Third story window was ajar on the rear, probably leading to a dressing room or an office. Bucky circled the block, had to go three buildings down to find a fire escape that would give him access to the roof without him being seen from the main street. Once up there though, it was easy enough.

From above, he looked down and saw that the line of men waiting to enter the club had barely moved. He could hear them talking — the club was at capacity. They could only let more men in as women left. At the rear of the building, he reached over the edge and hoisted the window open wider. Then he flipped, hung from the ledge and with a swing, landed inside the empty room on his feet. It was small, with a dressing table and a rack for costumes. There were storage boxes against one wall. Outside, he heard only male voices, all joking. He was in the right spot. He adjusted his jacket, making sure in the mirror that his metal arm was obscured and he looked like a man who could, conceivably, be in a club. He waited for a lull in the conversation then came out of the room, walking like he belonged.

“Hey Harley!” he was in a narrow hallway, dimly lit, with wide washes of bright lights alternating down it at each open door. Coming and going between the rooms were men in various stages of dress. At the end of the hall, stairs down. Someone was talking to him, he stopped.

“Hey Harley, you sneaking into that empty room again?”

Harley? Bucky looked down at his boots. He did look like he’d just gotten off a motorcycle. Okay, he could work with that. He didn’t turn around, just dipped his head in a nod.

“Yeah, well that explains why you’re dressed so fast. Didn’t have to wait for nobody. Where you going in a hurry? No drinks tonight?”

He shook his head, coughed into his hand, started walking again.

“Ah, yeah, you mentioned that. Feel better! See you next week money maker!”

Bucky waved behind him and, quickly side stepping the other half-naked men in the hall, made it to the stairs. As he quick jogged down, he did wonder why all of the men from the revue were undressed. Show business types were notorious for getting naked, weren’t they? And they probably wore stage clothes, which they had to change before leaving. That made sense. The door to the second floor was secured. Bucky continued down to the first floor, bursting into a backstage area that was being quickly cleaned and cleared. An older man was using a pushbroom to clear the stage of…lace panties and dollar bills. No one stopped or even spoke to him, so he continued out the next door he found, onto the dance floor. What he found there gave him pause.

He was at the back of the club, next to the stage. The dance floor was crowned by a gigantic glass chandelier, gorgeously ornate, throwing shade and light around the huge space. Across from him was the front of the building, which had a second floor with stairway access. Tucked under that interior balcony was the front door, covered by a black curtain, flanked by two security guards. To his right, in the middle of the wall was the side door where another two security guards were letting women out. On both the side walls were long bars, which were mobbed with drinking women of every variety. Between him and both doors were more women than he had seen since the last USO show he’d attended. How in the name of hell was he supposed to find Sarah in this?

Then he felt a hand on his ass.

He literally yelped and turned, grabbing the wrist of his assailant on instinct, lifting the woman who had touched him off her feet. She had the flexible wobble of a drunk. He pulled her closer to assess her threat level and he could smell cheap beer on her. His heart beat hard in his chest.

“Hey Harley,” she slurred. “I thought I’d seen that ass earlier. Wanna dance?”

Then another voice behind him.

“Milly, I told you, you can’t touch the talent. Sorry about that Harley, she bothering you?”

A security guard came from the side of the bar and gently took the woman in hand, allowing Bucky to release her. His throat felt tight, his vision narrowed. He didn’t mind the crowd, but she’d, she’d touched him like she had a right to. That shifted something in his mind. He shook his head at the security guard. He needed to get Sarah and get out of here before the angry panic he felt in his gut spread beyond his ability to control it.

“Cool cool, I’ll take it from here. Come on Milly, you know the rules,” the guard said, escorting Milly and her friends towards the side exit.

Another hand brushed his waist. Bucky turned quickly enough to see a woman float off into the crowd with a wink and a lewd tongue gesture. He stuck his hand where he’d felt her touch him and pulled a 5-dollar-bill from his pocket.

What the actual hell was going on?

He backed into the corner where the security guard had been to catch his breath. He counted to 10. On eight, his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text from Sarah.

<wave emoji>see you. <heart eyes emoji>

Where are you, Sarah?

<eyes emoji> you don’t see me? Look <up arrow>

He did. On the second floor, near the corner of the balcony, he saw a woman waving at him. Then two women. Sarah and Aymie. Thank Bast on a Boat.

Come down. I’ll meet you at the bottom of the stairs.

<thumbs up>

Waiting till he saw them start moving, he put his phone into his front pocket. He also moved his wallet and his favorite knife to the front of his body, so any other prying hands wouldn’t accidentally stumble on his valuables. Bucky then took a deep breath before running the gauntlet across the main floor. There were more other men inside now, so there was less attention on him. That didn’t stop every other woman he pushed past from dragging their eyes over him like they knew him personally. He felt a few more errant pinches, each of which twisted his gut, but he kept his eyes straight ahead. Thankfully, he made it to the stairs without breaking anyone’s hand.

Sarah and Aymie were leaned against a wrought iron pole, both looking fresh and excited in a way that tore Bucky in two. On one hand, he loved that look on Sarah’s face. She had the rosy, bright flush she got after they’d been kissing on the couch. He knew what it meant — it would be followed by her sly smile, then an invitation upstairs. On the other hand, why did she have that look here?

Seeing him, Sarah collapsed into his arms. He could smell citrus and gin on her breath, that’s what she drank when she went out.

“Oh Lover, you came for me. You’re the sweetest!” she slurred. Over her shoulder, Aymie shrugged and mouthed:

“DRUNK.”

Bucky nodded. He’d gotten that.

“My knight in shining armor. My own personal hero. God, you’re a life saver.”

“Sure, Sarah,” he stammered out. It was all a-swirl of confusion now, his own unnamed fear scratching at his guts, now with Sarah’s expression and extreme drunkenness — Bucky didn’t know how to feel. “Let me get you home.”

“Please lover, take me home. This show has me in my…feelings,” Sarah continued, pressing her hips to his. “My dirty dirty feelings.”

“Let’s go,” he said, taking her hand to head for the side door, hoping Aymie had the sense to follow behind.

They wove through the crowd. He could feel the slightly cooler breeze from the door, that’s how close they were, when Sarah pulled her hand from his.

“Buck, one sec, I have to say good bye to Freeman.”

“What?”

He turned in time to see her sidle up to one of the security guards, a frankly beautiful Black man, bald as as egg, with a jawline that even Bucky noticed. Sarah draped her arms over the man’s shoulders and hugged him, whispering in his ear.

A different feeling, older than the confusion or the fear, burned through Bucky. His legs tensed, his mouth tasted sour, his back teeth ground together. He felt a growl in his throat.

That hug lasted <em>forever.</em>

Finally Aymie threw her hip into Sarah’s, dislodging her. Lucky thing. Because Bucky had counted up to 15 and if he got to 20, he had given himself permission to put the man’s head through the brick wall.

Aymie pushed both Sarah and Bucky through the open door, not relaxing her grip until they were both against the wall on the opposite side of the alley.

Bucky wanted to scream. But they were in public, the alley full of women exiting the club. He pressed his lips together and swore he’d let it out when he got home. Not before. He took Sarah’s hand and headed for the car. A few feet short of their destination, a familiar form stepped in front of him.

“Hey Harley, so you picked these two? You got room for a third?”

Milly put her hand on his chest. Just as Bucky coiled to strike, Sarah threw up. Loudly. Down the front of Milly. Into her purse. Into her shoes. It was awful. Wet and smelling of gin and bile.

Milly screamed.

The only thing Bucky remembered clearly of the rest of the night was shooting down the highway with Sarah passed out in the backseat and Aymie alternately sighing and laughing in the passenger seat.

***

Back to the Masterlist! The Sarah Bucky Songbooks MasterList

[sly-merlin]

KILLING ME -11 |N.Y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre :    angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au.

warnings of this chapter : cursing, explanatory mention of a pistol!

words :: ~5k

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

or              

“  curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: @kpop-choco​ @moon-yuta​ @kawaiiayasan​ @btm-taeyong​ @exfolitae​ @lanadreamie​ @cheersskznct​ @hyuckiesgf​ @theworld-accordingtocasey​  @yiyi4657​ @sorrywonwoo​ @sillywinnergladiator​ @suhweo @minejungwoo​ @leesalts​  @mal-nakamoto23​ @ro2424​ @itlittlefangirl​​ @nctzens-world​​ @bl--ankhaeji​​ @simplybree​​

 networks :: @kafenetwork​ @neowritingsnet​  @nct-writers​

K.M masterlist

K.M 10     next

a/n :: header was made with detailed instructions from lovely @cirrus-lily​ (thank you so much for your patience).

Previous night , taeyong’s office.

The thick, heavy unnatural silence was breached by the phone call. Taeil’s muffled words didn’t reach anyone’s ears but taeyong’s reaction was enough for an estimate!

“what did taeil say?”

Taeyong glanced at yuta’s hopeful yet helpless face. Taeil's order was far from what yuta's eyes sought. The past ten minutes were spent listening to the unsynchronized ticking of the clocks and some random whispering of the younger ones from the living room. And now, several pairs of eyes were asking for the answers.

“you will be stationed in nice, f-for two months.”

Yuta’s face hardened at his words. He gulped and opened his mouth to say something but stopped. The words stuck on his tongue would not be able to convey what he wanted to, he thought.

“with johnny?" Jaehyun uttered.

“no yuta is replacing him" taeyong mumbled, hiding his face in his hands.

Yuta snickered , “ as expected.” as much as he didnt want to sound bitter, his senses were not cooperating with him too much.

“this is not about you or johnny. It’s better if you both stay away fr-

“did taeil tell her the truth?” yuta coldly cut him off.

“i don't know about that!"

“then I'll have to do it myself." Yuta stood up, alerting everyone.

“do not stretch this yuta. This can end right here. Your absence woul-

“you got it wrong taeyong!” yuta cackled , “I'm dying to leave this place but don't you think she deserves to know that she's wrong here.”

“please yuta. For last time. trust taeil. this is the last thing I’m asking from you. You’d get the chance to explain. Ju-just not yet.” Yuta scowled at taeyong’s hollow pleading.

He inched forward slamming his palms on the table , “ since when did you start playing with wrong players taeyong? you are supposed to be the smarter one here. Who are you fooling here? you think I don’t know why she’s here or jaemin, jeno, jungwoo, chenle, jisung, mark, they don’t have a hint?” taeyong eyes danced around the room avoiding any contact as yuta continued, “Don't stretch this taeyong. this can end right here. without hurting another one and right before they can get attached. I hope when i come back , you would have sorted this mess out or you won’t have time to regret this time”

Scoffing at taeyong’s hunched figure, he smacked the table once before leaving the room.

Doyoung  followed soon , leaving Jaehyun and Taeyong alone.

Panic engulfed jaehyun’s entire being as he pondered over yuta’s words.

“he’s right. You saw her today. She’s getting worked up over a stupid misunderstanding and you saw the way taeil is acting! This was never the plan. She’s not timid. You cannot possibly make her agree to anything at all. Taeil would never let that happen. Heck! Yuta’s getting weirder these days. Let her go. We can wait unt-

“We. Can’t .wait. I know my limits, Jaehyun and two months are enough..” Taeyong whisper yelled “ I care about her more than you’d ever do so get the fuck out of here. You don't get to tell me what I should be doing.”

Jaehyun leered at the older man, muscles in his jaw twitching at his words  “you have lost it taeyong. if we fail this time, you’d be the one to blame.”

Perfectly ironed shirts were wrinkled as yuta threw them into the case. doyoung was ready to accompany but he refused all the assistance proposed to him. He left nothing. from t-shirts and pants to jumpers, he packed as if he was going for a one way trip to france.

He groaned , jumping on the suitcase, trying to bury the clothes deeper into the case so he could zip it. Once finished,he pushed the cases out of the room and into the hall. locking the door, his running and hurried eyes fell on the opposite room. It was bare of any presence. This was his first time peeking into your room. He was merely looking from afar but the very next second he found himself going through the album resting on the bed covers. a perfect normal photo album was calming enough to subside his inner turmoil.  

yuta scrunched his nose at the small girl who was either frowning or crying in most of the pictures. the family of three looked quite happy. But the girl didn't seem to resemble any of the adults. He almost let out a laugh at your wailing form in every other photo. Just looking at the pictures, anyone with two eyes could tell that you were a spoiled kid. No wonder you were full of attitude and ego, he thought.

closing it, he glanced at the room, simple and plain. Not that his own wasn’t but he couldn’t find anything that had prompted you to lock your door for the whole day. He left the room to lock his own but when he pocketed his keys, they met with something at the end of his pants pocket.

A grunt left his throat at the sight of the screws. He had placed them in his pocket to follow your fuming body, the reason of which he didn’t know back then. He was about to throw them on the bed when the album caught his eyes again. He cursed at himself for being so indecisive. Pacing back and forth , he noticed how composed he had suddenly become. He wasn’t feeling anger, just some traces of irritation for the whole drama that had unfolded.

Before he could convince himself otherwise, he took a paper from your desk, scribbled with a trembling hand and left it on the counter.

All while hoping taeil was actually being reasonable , just this once.

12:30 p.m

Looking through the power window, you stared at taeil’s arriving form, hands full with brown food bags. He hit the car door with his one knee prompting you to open the door from inside.

“when I say you are no better than others ,I really mean you are NO better than them!” taeil chortled as he shoved a bag into your lap.

“what did I do this time?” you rolled your eyes as you anticipated another moral lecture from him.

“nothing. you are making an old man to get food for you!”

“and I had suggested the said old man to enter the drive thru!”

“and drive thru is no fun, duh! The vintage the better!”

“just like someone I know! you exclaimed chewing the burger.

“very funny. You know highway stops are all about breathing in fresh air while stretching your arms, yawning so widely that you have to hide your face in your stretched arm to save yourself from the embarrassment. The first step out of the car after hours of driving feels like restoration of something that was denied to you for such a long time. and the second phase of happiness comes at the engine purring, the feeling is like no other, I’m telling you. but someone lost their chance to experience it .”

“you sound poetic taeil but you lack facts. The fresh air you just inhaled is what we consider a polluted one.I’ll prefer to sit inside and miss all that instead of going out and dying. So let go of the  fancy peace thoughts and develop your perceptions according to the changing world. The sound of this vintage engine is a source of headache and not happiness.Now lemme eat. IN PEACE”

“we’ll see whose perception changes” taeil mumbled munching on the fries.

You both ate in silence for 20 minutes. As the drive continued ,the stilled milieu took you back to the uncertainties you were trying so hard to suppress. When taeil had knocked at the door in the morning, which was beyond expectation at first, he gave you the liberty to question his actions but you had passed that opportunity, precisely to show that you weren’t that greedy. But you were! The endless queries were now making you anxious. Why did taeil come with you? what was the reason behind his pleasant behaviour, how could yuta agree to go like that? sure he liked your presence not more than you did but was he the kind to bow down so easily! Or was he designing something under the colour of acceptance. taken together ,you ended up being the ruthless one here. But the leading one was why did yesterday happen! Multiple stolen glances at Taeil were fairly noticeable; you were waiting for him to just start something. And he perhaps was waiting for you to initiate. Dilemma remained unsolved and you arrived in seoul just like you had left it, but visiting your parents had lessened the encumbrances weighing you down.

You were about to retreat after thanking him when he finally spoke up,

“b.n at 6! No exemption. And instead of racking your brain, just ask. it’s simpler than you make it to be y/n.”

Slamming the door shut , you dragged your feet for the apartment, shaking your head at the man.

Of course he knows everything! And maybe could ask him someday to get your own answers.

10 days later

The gun went off with a bang which if it hadn’t been for the ear protectors and the noiseless sheets, would have deafen your ears. Fingers pointed at the target, eyes coloured with impatience, jungwoo didn’t move. After he was done with his dramatic action, the glass shield slid and he entered inside.

“this is target A. this one is B” he asked for a confirmation with his wide eyes which you nodded at.

“right. so!” he walked circling the dry grass to stand between two targets, “so when I say hit at A, you should be firing at A, precisely aiming anywhere in this space.” he explained again, hand moving in front of the said space.

“I hit at the center jungwoo! The fucking center! For the first time in two weeks.”

“yes. You did hit the core but of the wrong target.”

“how does it matter? It's a perfect shoot”

Jungwoo blinked multiple times focusing on your puzzled face. He wasn’t sure if you were purposely trying to annoy him or you seriously lacked a few braincells to understand where you were wrong!

“at the wrong target.” he pressed.

“but I still hit-

“Ok. listen to me carefully now. Lets assume A is taeil hyung and B is a killer. If i shout to you that kill B and you mistakenly shoot A instead then you’d end up killing taeil hyung instead of the killer and then you’d be a killer yourself and even if the shot was perfect it was targeted wrongly thats why when i say hit A, hit A and when i say B, hit B. understood now?” dumbfounded, you stared at him bobbing your head a few times to indicate you understood. But you really hadn’t.

“You are not lying right?”

“Dont accuse me of lying!”

“Oh! So you still don-

“hey beautiful!”

Your heads jerked towards the owner of the voice who had just interrupted the bickering.

“johnny” you whispered.

“I meant jungwoo y/n.” jungwoo sticked his tongue out at you as he jumped forward to hug johnny.

“When did you come back?”

“just now. I flew directly to Japan from nice. didn’t he inform you all? And why is nobody at home?”

a small smile graced your face while jungwoo started explaining to him about some business event. You felt like jungwoo won’t shut up anytime soon so you turned around from the scene and made yourself busy with the magazine. As you were counting the rubber bullets to fill the magazine, a pair of arms touched your both shoulders.

“wh-

“how are you y/n.”

“you done talking to your prince.”

Jungwoo groaned approaching you with a stern look.

“you’ll have plenty of time to chatter. Focus on your job instead!”

“ugh. You are so annoying. I’m done for the day.” You announced handing the pistol to him.

“wait! what am I missing here.” Johnny's eyes shifted , not knowing what was going on in his absence.

“yuta hyu-

“I know all that. I’m asking about the bullets!”

“Taeil told me to learn some basics to defend myself and jungwoo is my assigned teacher who don’t seem to appreciate my skills at all”

“liar!” Jungwoo screeched and continued, “she’s poor at shooting, hits anywhere but the point I’m indicating at an-and she never listens to me.”

Snorting dramatically at the end, he glares at you. you welcomed his complaining speech with a toothy grin which seemed to annoy him more. One thing you had learnt in the past two weeks had been that jungwoo was frustrating when he was hungry and during the time he was supposed to teach you, no food was allowed in the basement, making him a hunger monster.. Johnny watched the exchange with an amused smile, just like you were doing a few minutes ago.

“alright. You both need to chill. Jungwoo, she's not a professional so go easy on her and you! you should listen to him. or if you want I can be your tutor instead!”

“don’t hijack here. she's my student and I was chosen because I am the softest and the sweeter one her-

“who is a second away from having a breakdown!”

“no go out. You are not invited anymore. nobody is allowed here from 6 to 7:30 .” Jungwoo announced as he started pushing Johnny out the door.

‘”yaa! Jungwoo. I’m go- don’t push me you rascal. I am going. Bye y/n. I’ll be waiting upstairs.” He shouted and waved in the air which you, for no reason, found yourself returning even if he wasn't going to see it.

As johnny was gone, jungwoo pressed the switch again to close the partition. Coming behind you, his arms embraced you and he placed the gun in your hand as he ducked himself to reach your height with another try to improve the hand-eye coordination. Occupied with each other, you both missed the pair of eyes watching you both  in a very unpleasant manner.  

“how’s your research going?” johnny asked with a mouthful of meatballs.

“it’s meh! The library is under construction so I can't properly look through books and besides minjun is too whiny to let me do anything. I can’t leave that kid alone so we're always hanging out after 1. I’ve some resources saved so I’m fine for now” you replied.

“seems like that minjun guy makes you very happy. Is he the one?” jaehyun took your attention as he pinched his neck. You narrowed your eyes at his unnecessary remark.

“my happy pill is not minjun but you jaehyun dear. I haven’t seen you in like 5 days i guess? So that eliminated all the reasons for my unhappiness. Your absence is my elixir jae. ” You grinned. Jaheyun pointed his chopstick at you but before he could utter anything, taeyong spoke up.

“woah. Don’t you two start now.” he cried.

“he’s the one that starts everything! I just continue his shit for it-

“well I won't initiate if its not for that stinky tongue o-

“Shut up before I lock both of you in a room.”

Hearing several snickers, it seemed like taeyong was the only one getting annoyed, everyone else seemed to be enjoying it.

Just when you were about to pour more juice, everything else finished and left the table. it seemed strange as how fast they were done with their dinner.

“how can you all eat so quickly?” doyoung seemed to be more perplexed as he asked taeyong.

“don’t you both know?” you settled your chopsticks on the plate as taeyong proceeded, “the last two to finish cleans the dishes.”

You instantly scanned the whole dining table and the instant regret of eating like a sloth washed over your face. There were only three left and next second there were only two. Jungwoo shot up from seat with his stuffed mouth, waved and left. Taeyong didn’t waste any time before he also scurried away.

“this was a conspiracy y/n.” doyoung murmured.

“I know right. they knew it. w-we have to wash for 14 people.”

“look at the brighter side, we don’t have to hurry now.”

You shrugged at his words, filling your glass with juice again.

“you should not be drinking juice at nighttime.” He lectured

“then why is it on the table?”

“aish! You are impossible.”

“so are you.”

You continued bickering with doyoung until both of you were finished. Like everyone else, you too had started to find joy while annoying doyoung. The responses from him were always a treat. He was also awfully similar to you. the nit-picking in almost everything, forever sceptical body language and lastly the  identical frown you both wore all the time. but you were not the one that detected the similarities, it was doyoung himself.

It was not just doyoung! With exception of jaehyun, it seemed like everyone was trying to make you a part of their daily lives. The day after the incident, you had hesitated to knock the door, scared of their reactions towards you but the dark cloud of worry had floated away with the warmest hug jungwoo had welcomed you with. You detected no rejection, no unpleasant remarks, instead you were strictly instructed to not to leave the premises without having dinner. And that one day became two and two a routine. You were confused as you were the reason someone dear to them was somewhere he wasn't meant to be at the moment and yet they treated you like you were their own! For first few days you were at edge, the affection not digestible. Feeding your suspicions , you tried to choke something out of mark who was also your designated driver but all he unveiled was his endless jokes and contagious giggles weaved with the various stories. Each day he recited a new one, sowing the seeds of intimacy with his family which, you couldn’t deny, were sprouting into something unprecedented. However vague it was, you liked it. You liked this unsought acceptance, being included like a family, taking you back in the time. But you never had the luxury of an easy life. Was this worth trusting? Were you ready to return their affection by placing them on the pedestal as same as jungkook and yugyeom. But this house wasn no more reeking of any resentment and you were more than fine with that for now.

"Stack the glasses, I'll pick up the plates"

"This is so tiring" you complained while scraping the sauce on the plates.

"You'll get used to it." Doyoung deadpanned.

"Tell me why i agreed to this!"

"You know the rules. And don’t you remember because of you, I washed for 20 people that day! You deserve the suffering woman!”

You chuckled at the memory. A few days ago, You, doyoung and hyuck were the last ones remaining.  And you had won the rock paper scissors. Though the last two were the supposed cleaners, hyuck had ditched the poor boy, leaving him with extra load.

"You carry some heavy dark clouds on your head man. I don't know how you manage to end up with dirty utensils!every fucking single time" Doyoung glared at your remark and you both continued washing and wiping the dishes side by side.

"Where are the spoons?"

"On the table. Wait , I'll be back in 2 minutes!"

Carrying the cutlery you made your way back to the kitchen but chanting of a familiar name froze you in your steps.

"He's acting like a child johnny! Had he called you after you left?" It was taeyong speaking in a hushed manner, but he was not doing a very good job in whispering.

"Nope. He just took names and contacts of all the whistleblowers and that's it. But i can’t understand the need for that taeyong! I had everything in control. What do you wanna achieve with your stupidity!”

"Jaemin, hyuck and jisung are in constant contact  with him but only to receive the codes he's sending. He's just unreachable and I'm not just talking about his cell network johnny. I'm losing him. He- taeil thought it’s for the best. They won’t see each others face for sometime an-

“And everything would be fine? Right? Sounds very legit. Goodluck with daydreaming princess.”

Hearing some shuffling, you trudged for the kitchen, not wanting them to be aware of your eavesdropping.

Stretching the hem of your knee length skirt with your hands, you kicked your feet in the air to get the non existing elasticity to work. chances were not less but anybody could see you so while cursing at chelin for the tight skirt you made your way inside the office. Your bag made contact with your right hip as you walked into the office corridors. You entered the security doors through the pass that was generated online for first day entry.You never wanted to enter this side of the famous company but with minimum options available you had no choice but to associate yourself with this branch, infamous for saving culprits of money laundering, false accusations and what not.

“ms. y/n?” a receptionist shifted your attention to her tall frame. You affirmed with a nod and she extended her hand asking for the documents.

“I’ll place your original documents in our custody room. No need to worry, this is a mere formality as we don’t make interns sign confidentiality papers. As you already know , you can end your internship with a three weeks prior notice and when we receive that application, your document would be handed back. And in case, you become an associate, and that would depend on your performance, you’ll get them at the promotion.”

You followed her steps as she stopped at a desk and gave you the papers back.

“change the folder to a chois file. And sign this receipt. I’ll give you a copy and don’t lose it if you want your degree back.” You blinked drinking each and every word she said. You again nodded like  a lost child and completed the formalities. After a few minutes you were shown to your small desk that was decorated with a pyramid of legal files.

“do I have to work on these” you voiced your fear. Even if it was a stipend based internship, nobody would take up that work load.

“oh no! actually I forgot that you were joining but I’ll get it cleaned in the evening so you can adjust for today right?” before you could respond the sound of her heels faded away in the distance.

“Welcome to the great chois y/n” you mumbled to yourself, picking up a random file to pass the time until further orders.

A week later

To keep your mind off the distasteful look painted all over mr. kwang’s face, you chose to look at his new assistant. The clicking or rather banging of the keys of the computer combined with the occasional scratch of her nails was highly uncomfortable but not more than the man sitting beside her. Your professor didn’t find it amusing that his favourite free fund student was asking for her permitted leave.

“how much have you progressed with the thesis?” he scoffed, respectfully dumping the application  on the table.

“I’ll be working half day. I’m not supposed to accompany them to the hearings so I’ll be back in the university in the late afternoon to research on that.”

He sighed, clearly not satisfied by the answer, “you want to skip lectures for an assistant job!”

“I would be promoted shortly so it’s acceptable sir.” A lie slipped out before you could stop yourself.

“what about getting distinction in thesis?”

“I’ll be surrounded with experts so it’s not a big deal sir.  I’m getting late. I’ll see you in Friday’s lecture.” In sync with his eyeballs, he rolled his chair to face the other way. Picking up the paper you bowed to his back and left the staffroom , a grin of content bedazzling your face.

"He did what?" Johnny tried hard to control his laughter but the scenario you were narrating was too humorous for him to keep his hands stable on the wheel.

"I'm not kidding John. Yugyeom seriously forgot kook  at Busan. But he did go back to get him though but I won't blame gyeom for this error!"

"Oh yeah! Just because jungkook slept in the gym doesn't justify his mistake girl. The driver should count the passengers before taking the wheel. Look at me, i never forget anyone no matter what!"

"Stop blowing your own trumpet. Don't forget you are driving a stolen car!"

Johnny rolled his eyes at the comment , "no, borrowed from mark so I can spend more time with you. stop lawyering and tell me what you did in the break. Apart from flirting with jungwoo of course."  

You shook your head at him as he repeated the same you-flirt-with-jungwoo mantra again but this time decided to follow the lead , "so what if we flirt! He's teaching me to save myself from predators , abductors and he’s very gentle with me. Have you seen his eyes! I want to drown myself in the depth of those brown sea-

"Oh my god I'm so sorry! I'm never mentioning that again but please stop. You are awful with words." His laughed again, you joining him soon. " Now seriously tell me how were your holidays"

"Umm nothing new except that everyone was on university funded trips leaving me with minjun , his camera and the plants. We explored botanies and flower shops an-

He had lied. You were not sounding awful but he just hated how quickly his heart beat at someone else's mention from your lips. He consumed each and every word like he could be tested on the said information later on. His eyes were glued to the road and his ears to your voice. He wanted nothing more than to be the only one you’d see. He wanted nothing more than to be subject of your talking but the voice in the back of his mind said fuck it johnny, you are already asking for too much. He hated how he lost control over his senses whenever you were near him but he was slowly getting used to the dilemma. But the trance he was trapped in quickly broke down when you mentioned something. Abruptly stopping the car by the trees, he faced you to confirm.

"You are doing what?"

"I'm interning. Don't look at me like I stole your candy John. I need money." You innocently replied not aware of the reason behind his sudden dumbfounded expression.

"Shouldn't you be focusing on masters!n yuta is supposed to pay for you so why do y-

" I can work for my money johnny." Frustration made its way to your face as you continued,"drop me home johnny!" You weren't sure whether it was for his mention or him questioning your ability to feed yourself but you were offended.

"Yeah I'm sorry. I won't mention that again" a hollow apology and the car sailed again.

Hiding himself in his car seat, Johnny's fingers hovered over various contacts. Taeyong, taeil, Yuta, jaehyun! He wasn't sure what he wanted to do or whose side he wanted to take. He just wanted to be with you and no one else! but he couldnt do that !

Kicking harshly at the brakes, he screamed. The voice reaching no one’s ears but his own.

Was he asking for too much?

i wanted to add more to this chapter but i dont find enough time to write due to some commitments! but i’ll update one more chapter before this beautiful year ends. and all the smut chapters would be uploaded again sans the adult stuff for the minor readers! and there are few more chapters left. masterlist says 12 chapters bcs i’m lazy（￣︶￣）↗　

HAPPY DECEMBER EVERYONE. HAPPY HANUKKAH AND MARRY CHRISTMAS. BE THE SANTA OF YOUR LIFE AND SPREAD HAPPINESS!!

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Omg could you please make a part two of an S/O who's stupid good with kids but with Shinsou, tamaki, deku, and aizawa??

This is a lil long bc it was 4 characters! And I kinda changed Aizawa up a little bit so I hope you still like it.

Deku-

• Shit happens

• Shit happens all the time

• This specific incident involved a quirk manifestation and a child.

• You and two had just been walking

• Just chilling out after a rigorous training day

• Then there was screaming and panicking. Your head snapped in its direction, he hadn't fully processed it before you'd taken off

• Some kids quirk had manifested. It seemed pretty severe.

• It looked like some kind of energy quirk, like a force field or something.

• The kid was scared, she was panicking and thrashing from her place in the air

• He stood behind you, surveying the environment to find a solution

• And he almost missed you jumping in until her heard your voice.

"Okay baby, look at me, just look at me and breathe. You'll be okay, Just breathe."

• You were walking towards her, trying to get her to slow her breaths. The more she panicked the worse it would get.

• He stood where he was, he didn't want to overwhelm her, he decided he'd let you take care of it.

• He watched quietly as you breathed with her, again reassuring that'd she'd be just fine.

• And he watched as the field flickered away and the girl fell. His body lurched foward on instinct and he was beyond relieved when he saw that you had caught her.

• He let out a breath as the girl gripped your shirt and sobbed into your shoulder.

• A hand reached up to hold the back of her head

• "it's okay," you murmured and he smiled

• It seemed to come easy to you, nurturing people. It seemed to come easy calming this girl down.

• He turned his attention to reassuring the bystanders that the two of you were okay and that you'd be taking the girl home. They dispersed slowly after his urging for them to leave.

• You were standing now, the girl still in your arms, holding on for dear life.

• Poor thing was still shaking

• "Look," you hummed. "This is my friend, he's going to walk with us to get you home. That okay?"

• Your hand was rubbing her back now and your cheek was pressed against her temple

• Dekus heart fluttered

• God you were beautiful

• And strong

• And just everything he ever wanted

• The small girl nodded, keeping her face hidden, whispering a soft sorry

• "Don't be sorry princess, you didn't do anything wrong." You pressed a kiss to the top of her head and Deku sees the girls grip tighten.

• He has a hand on your lower back during the walk to the girls house, you'd somehow managed to find where it was even with all the crying the girl did

• He watched as you hand the girl over to her mother who profusely thanks you

• Information is traded as she says she wants to make it up to you even after your assurance that it was no trouble at all

• And he's holding your hand again when the two of you leave, going on and on about how well you did in the situation

• He's so proud

Shinsou:

• He realizes just how good with kids you are when he she's you interact with Eri

• I mean everytime the two of you are together its wholesome

• He takes note when Aizawa tries to apologize for her always being with you and you brush it off

• You enjoyed her company and found no problem in it

• Shinsou tucked that piece away for later

• The girl adored you, genuinely

• And you stopped at nothing to make sure she was okay

• She'd spend a lot of time in the 1-A dorms with you, just as he would.

• If she said she was hungry, you'd be up to make her food in no time

• If she cried, you'd have her on your lap, wiping the tears from her cheeks as you assured her it was okay

• and he'd watch, soft smile gracing his lips

• She'd spent the night with you on more than one occasion

• Nightmares were prominent with Eri

• Staying with you seemed to help that

• He'd sit beside you as you braided her hair

• He'd listen to her ramble to you and he'd watch you nod and hum in response

• He'll lay on one side of you and Eri will lay on the other side, curled into your side as she watches whatever disney movie she picked

• and his heart will swell when the two of you sing along to the songs

• When Eries feeling down, she comes to you for comfort

• You'll tell her how beautiful she is

• He'll watch you hold her to your chest and rub her back

• He watches you play with her hair, kiss her cheeks, telling her how amazing she is

• How you're lucky to have her with you

• He'll watch as she falls asleep in your arms, content

• And it always makes him realizes just how lucky he is to be with you

• How lucky he is to have /you/

• How lucky Eri is to have you

• I mean this man fr fr in love w you

• This one time, you and shinsou had fallen asleep watching a movie, it was about 3am when there was a small knock on the door

• You get up to answer it and Shinsou wakes up to you getting up

• Sure enough its Eri, she's sniffling and holding her stuffed animal

• And immediately your kneeling in front of her wiping her cheeks

• "Baby what's wrong?"

"I had a nightmare...I didn't want to wake mr. Aizawa up. I didn't want to make him mad..."

"Oh honey," you kiss her nose and pick her up, rubbing her back in response to her small whine. "You want some tea? Then you can stay with me for the night? We can tell Mr. Aizawa in the morning, he won't get mad."

She nods, laying her head on your shoulder. "Hi Shinsou," she waves weakly. "I'm sorry for waking you up too."

"Hi Eri," and he gets up too, walking over and running a hand through her hair. "It's okay, you're safe here. We won't let anything happen to you."

She nods again

He follows the two of you down the hallway and to the kitchen

Mina, Kaminari, and Sero are still up on the couch. He snickers as you glare at them.

"You guys should be asleep. Get out."

Mina groans and Sero grins knowingly, pulling the other two out.

• I mean shinous heart is melting rn

• you're like totally momming out

• You've got Eri in one arm, humming by her ear as you turned the stove on to get a kettle boiling

• You're swaying gently, readjusting her so she's in the center of your chest

• you run a hand through her hair and she smiles

• And Shinsou swears he could die right there

• Just looking at you interacting with the kid he considers a little sister is enough to kill him fr fr

• His poor heart can't take much more

• Eri lifts her little hands up to cup your cheeks. "You're not going to leave right?"

"Never ever," you smiled, touching your nose to hers.

Then she looked at Shinsou and this man about passed out. "Never." He puts a hand on her head. "We'll always be here,"

• The tea is made, the three of you drink it at the table, bent on getting Eris mind off her nightmare

• And then you carry her upstairs again and down the hall into your bedroom.

• the three of you settle down and you out on a movie (volume low of course) that she can fall asleep too and it's not long before she's out, pressed into your side.

• Shinsou smiles and kisses your temple. "I love you, you know,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I love you too. Now stop being a sap, its gross." You stick your tongue out and he let's out a low chuckle.

"You're good with her."

"I want her to be happy," you mumble. "She deserves that at least. And if the world doesnt have anyone else doing it, then I'll do it."

He kisses your temple again. "I know."

• Ever since Eri came to live in the dorms, you've gotten up earlier, mostly to make the girl breakfast

• The whole class realizes it, sometimes they'll try to steal some but you'll obliterate them for trying

• You've always got Eri in some proximity to you when you're cooking. Usually she'll watch

• Shinsou finds himself sneaking into the 1A dorms in the mornings (much to his classes distaste) but how could he not?

Aizawa-

• He realizes that you talk a lot of shit about how much you 'hate kids' but when it comes to them, you're always doing your best to make sure they're comfortable and happy

• Its another pro hero moment

• His class is attacked and you happen to be there and this man watches you go FERAL protecting these fucking teenagers and his heart swells and he'd filled with so much fucking pride

• The dumbass villain who fuckin tried is now on the ground in front of you completely beat to a pulp

• Poor guy had no chance

• As soon as you knew he was out your attention had turned to the kids behind you

• You checked for injuries, concussions, made sure they felt okay

• Mina looks like she's on the verge of tears, deadass hits you with 'can you be my mom?????'

• Kaminari and Sero are nodding in agreement. 'Pls'

• He tried to tease you about it

• "Shouta I'll knock your ass out too, shut your fucking mouth,"

• 'Reluctantly' becomes class mom

• Deadass

• You find yourself bringing snacks or making them something and Shouta brings it in 🤢

• Ur like oh god ew

• 'Shouta take this shit in for ur fuckin kids'

'You mean OUR kids'

• That was instance one

• Happens again but this time in the city during a robbery with smaller kids, much smaller

• And you don't waste a second, you're by their side

• Checking to make sure none if them are physically hurt

• So then you work on calming them down, telling them to breathe and just look at you

• Gently rubbing they're cheeks and keeping them close to you

• Shoutas 🥺

• Midnights 🥺

• Hizashis 🥺

• "M scared-"

"I know baby, but its gonna be okay. We won't let anything happen, okay?"

• And you carry these little fuckers out

• Ones on your back

• You've got one on each hip

• And another sitting on your shoulders

• Aizawa see's right through you

• "So...you say you don't like kids??"

"Hizashi I will LITERALLY hang you by your underwear, get away from me."

• God one time he see's you singing to this kid who's panicking and he deadass thinks he's gonna cry bc you're so precious

• And then Eri comes into the picture and you dont even pretend to hate kids anymore

• This child becomes your daughter

• And he's v happy about it because he wasn't one to really think about having kids

• But he's not gonna let Eri go, she's been through to much

• Not to mention practically adopting shinsou

• He's glad you're doing well with them

• They've seen your soft sides, much to your distaste, but they dont know that

• speaking of shinsou

• You do lowkey mom him

• Not to a super extent

• You're more like the cool aunt w mom tendencies

• But they're both happy to have some consistencies

• Shinsou knows that he's always welcome to come talk to you (and Aizawa but you know sometimes shit pops up that he's not particularly comfy w and you seem to be good at that)

• And he does

• Aizawa has accidently overheard his fair share of conversations between you two

• It always makes him happy that you all connect on that level

• I mean he wouldn't mind having a biological child

• But he's content with the family dynamic they have rn

• as much as you deny it you'd be a great mother

Tamaki:

• Tamaki isn't /bad/ w kids but he's not super great with them either

• Anxiety do be a bitch

• You always seem to ease up around kids

• He likes to watch

• Kids just seem to gravitate towards you, regardless of where you are, genuinely

• At the park? Oh boy he's ready to watch you interact with the kiddos

• Restaurant? Oh yeah, he's ready for some 5 year old to waddle up and talk.

• But in particularly rough situations, he's always super impressed. You seem to do WONDERS to calm kids down.

• The other pro heros could never.

• Endeavor? No.

• All might? Who she?

• No baby, it's all you.

• Anyway, one time, yall were out on a date.

• Y'all were f i s h i n g

• Aka you had been itching to go outside and decide to teach Amijiki to fish and he agreed bc why not

• So there you are, outside in the hot sun, in a crop top and shorts on a dock

• He's about 6 feet away, still talking distance, but far enough so your lines wouldn't get tangled

• He's not having a bad time at all, he's trying to ignore anyone else that might be there

• bc he wants to be w you and is tired of his anxiety getting in the way

• anyway, he almost misses the little girl that walks up.

• He looks over and she looks like she's gonna cry.

• She prolly has anxiety too tbh

• "Um...can-can you help me?"

• you look down and smile, "yes ma'am, what can I do for you?"

She held up her own small rod. "I uh...I lost my hook and I forgot how my dad tied everything on.."

"Want me to show you?"

"Yes please," her gaze flickered down.

"Okay first things first, do you have sun screen and water?"

She shook her head.

• So before you do anything, he watches you spray sunscreen on the little girl and give her a water bottle, which she only takes after you reassure that it's okay for her to have

• Then you call him over

"Amajiki, baby come here so I can show you how to do it too."

And he listens, reeling his line in and sitting next to you

"This is Amajiki, he's my friend okay? I'm teaching him how to fish too."

• The girl seems to relax at that and you get to work

• But he's not paying attention to what you're actually doing

• He's watching you

• You've got a bright smile on, your voice is soft as you show her the steps

• And once you get done tying the swivel on and putting a hook on, you hand her a worm

"Go on, bait it,"

• The girl does so with a small comfortable smile

• His heart melts

• You're just so damn good with them like you're literally a goddess already

• And this just makes it better

• You show her how to cast right and then she's all set

• She ends up sitting with you two for a little over an hour

• Then she waves goodbye and bounds off

• Amajiki kisses your nose gently. "You're so cool, bunny."

"You big sap, she told me you were her favorite hero. Did you zone out or something."

"Yeah," his face flushed. "I did."

[remsmoonlight]

— title : glitter in the sky

— word count : 2.3 k words

— pairing : loki x reader

— summary : before putting into place his plan for thor’s coronation, he seeks you out one more time for comfort only you can provide

— warnings : maybe a teeeeeny bit of thor bashing but incredibly minor .. love ‘im fr , bit of sadness

         ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　requested ? nope　/   requests are open  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

an: i got this idea, first from watching the first thor movie because aw, and then moving onto silent hill and that field scene is a whole vibe..... who doesn’t wanna just chill randomly in a field with the sun on your skin with no responsibilities? hell yeah .. anyways this just got away from me in a way ha

Trailing your gaze up to the sky, your eyes marvel at the merging colours as you study them intently, witnessing the blend of hues and tones from a bright blue to a mixture of warm pinks and burnt oranges light up the surrounding area before you knew they would fade into nothing more than a dark blanket who’s only source of light would be the moonlight and the stars that would litter it.

Your shoes crunching the dry grass and the sounds of chirping from the various wildlife encompasses you, it takes all of your strength to not allow a large grin to brighten your features.

Despite being so late in the afternoon, time walking on a fine line towards the early evening, the heat from the sun is still so strong, comfortably toasting your skin as a heavy blanket on a cold winter’s night would.

In the distance you’re able to spot the intimidating stature of the aged tree, though it’s intimidating in name only  ⎯  for now it holds only those memories that lay locked deep within your heart. Your situation is a rather unusual one. Many summer afternoons had been spent shielded from the harsh rays of sunlight that shone over everything it could touch, though they hadn’t been spent alone. Rather, they’d been spent with an exceedingly phenomenal man. Can he even be called that? You wonder to yourself, Loki was far from human. Far, far from it.

“ to think I had been of the belief you would not be appearing. “

The suddenness of the voice slicing through the noises of the concealed fields would have shocked you more had it not been so honeyed. Holding the recognisable smoothness that you only associated with Loki.

“ this is the first time I’ve ever been late, thank you very much. “ you answer with an unwavering nerve as you stare at him while amusement floods your expression.

“ and the last, I’m sure? “ an eyebrow raises as he questions you, a warmth brightening his aura against the coolness he exudes normally.

Believing he’s not of Earth had been hard for you to grip, to believe fully, no matter how many tricks he could conjure before your very eyes. Though disappearing right before you, then feeling the whisper of his breath dance on the back of your neck so gracefully had been the confirmation you required. From there on a friendship blossomed into something more, you both becoming more and more involved with the other. Holding such unbelievable secrets were not a common place for you, to have this continues to make you feel like such a special soul.

“ oh, shut up! “

You stroll towards him, closing the distance with an enthusiastic energy that not even the longest of days could wear you down. Nothing in the world makes you feel so secure and guarded than when you finally feel the weight of his arms snake around you to bring you forward into his embrace. For Loki, you are a home away from home. Never do you gaze upon him with untrustful eyes, nor do you view him as beneath you, many negative connotations are attached to his name and you? You simply see him for who he wishes he could be, only ever in your presence does he try not to disappoint you. Back on Asgard that’s all anyone ever expects, so why not play into their prejudices? It has protected him so far, though the thought that perhaps even that has done more harm than good tresspasses into his mind on a rare occasion.

It’s not something he wishes to think about there though. He wants to dedicate his short visit to you entirely. Pushing away the increasingly regular thought it’s just a heartbeat, he is not one to be naive to pretend. Illusions are second nature to him, to forge them as easily to breathe, but to experience them are something that is in his power to prevent. He could allow this one instance to be selfish.

“ might I inquire of your wellbeing since we parted last? “ he requests as fingers entwine with yours to guide you to the slight hollow space within the tree. You drop yourself without any elegance to the ground, he settles behind you with his legs on either side of yours.

You can’t help but marvel at the differences between the two of you, like night and day. However, your differences fit like a puzzle with no inconvenience.

“ life keeps trying to test my patience, same as ever but ⎯ “ you pause, your eyes shining with remembrance of the gift you had brought, of course you knew it’s nothing more than a silly little trinket but you couldn’t help but fall in love with it. “ here, my friend’s been making these pieces for their business and I couldn’t help but think of you. “

Adoration is the only thing that overwhelms him in this moment, it’s a feeling he wants to lock away to relive over and over, for the only time he has never been treated as an afterthought is by his mother. Now? It’s a feeling that hasn’t been forged by a bond born of blood, but one that has arisen naturally. The item in your hand is a small metal band, with designs etched onto its body.

“ it’s only a little thing I know ⎯ “ you begin to babble, the words tumbling before you could even stop them. Your mind losing all control over your language before Loki put a stop to it.

“ I’ll have you know it’s not the physical item itself, but the sentiment behind it I hold dear. “

You want to respond with equally sweet words, but the heavy tone doesn’t go undiscovered by your ears.

“ Loki, what’s wrong? “

“ nothing, why do you ask? “ the God denies, switching the questioning to you.

Turning to face him, your eyes scout all over his features to spot anything that would give you cause to continue on with your concern. It’s light, the ghost of sorrow concealed behind a curtain of confidence and ego, even the most professional of liars can’t hide the truth of that. The hurt cuts too deep for a flimsy pretense of everything being perfect for it to bury those feelings.

“ you’re an amazing liar, but I’m beginning to get the hang of you. Besides, sadness is something difficult to completely hide. “

A heavy breath is released, your fingers from their position on his shoulders feel as if there’s an invisible weight that has almost decreased. You wonder how long he has carried this with him.

“ tell me. “

Every fibre of Loki’s being is fighting to keep his feelings kept away out of sight, to imagine they never manifested themselves into reality, but locked into place by the profound compassion swirling in your eyes he wants to finally divulge everything in his mind that has been plaguing him. Who knew a mortal could have such an enchanting effect he thought humourfully to himself.

“ the deadline for a successor to my father’s throne is approaching. “

“ and you’re worried? “ your brows lower, confusion marking your features as you struggle to understand why that could be so bad?

“ I've veiled many things from you, a fault of mine I understand completely. “ he admits, a sorrowful smile gracing his lips.

“ it’s never too late to share them. It might help you feel better? “

Loki wonders just what it is he has done in his history to be blessed with such an understanding and caring soul as yours, nothing could ease the lasting effects of each and every of his transgressions over his many years of living. How exactly could such radiance and light find the dark Prince of Asgard so easily? Many who lived in his realm would argue that he’s not deserving, instead countering that his brother should be in such a position of happiness.

He simply gazes upon you before speaking, a slender finger raising to tuck a few stray hairs behind your ear.

“ the successor has already been chosen, they always have been. This is a mere formality. “ switching his sight from you to the environment around you both, turning to look upon the steadily darkening sky.

“ so why do it then? “

“ to ensure that the process is seen as fair, despite the favour repeatedly falling to my brother. “

Nodding in understanding, you finally realise why there is a darkness that swirls over his head now he speaks of the topic. Living in the shadow of the golden child is not easy, your heart hurts as you realise that there must be many people who do not see the same man who you see. They see audacity instead of a daringness, to mistake him for an egotistical know it all instead of someone who has a thirst for knowledge and tricks.

“ never did they wish to stop viewing me as a troublesome child, I suppose I never aided in changing that. “

Nothing falls from your lips, knowing no words could do justice for what you need him to know, to feel. Twisting yourself onto your knees, you lean forward and allow your arms to provide him comfort as they surround his neck. One hand raises to rest in the dense raven locks of hair you constantly marvel over, moving ever so softly to trace patterns.

“ I’m sorry. “ you mumble softly, wanting to say more, but you can’t help but resign yourself to being unable to say anything meaningful. Instead, figuring it would be better, first, for him to speak his emotions without looking for any advice.

“ you’ve nothing to apologise for. The pieces will fall as they should. “ he comforts, whining to himself over the absence of your warmth as you withdraw the embrace.

“ Loki, what do you mean by that? “

“ nothing for you to worry yourself over, my dove. “ he shakes his head, as a chuckle that is short accompanies it, contains little genuine amusement to settle you.

“ I’m being serious, what are you talking about? “ your demand is light in touch, though your gaze holds an unrelenting strength as he looks towards you once more.

“ again, nothing that requires your concern. Midgardians, you worry too much. “

“ over things that can get the people we love into trouble, of course. “

His heart pauses in beating as the words seep into his mind, realising exactly what you spoke. Briefly, does he wonder if he misheard you, thought deep down he knows what you spoke.

“ did you ⎯ ? “ an unrecognisable vulnerability crosses his expression as he begins to ask what you had said, to hear it again as if for the first time.

A reddening of you cheeks can be seen, you look down with a sheepish grin. This had not been the way you had imagined using the love word. Of course, over the years of your life many things had not gone to plan, so this was just another instance in a long, long line of events that just got away from you. While you know there is something mutual, you can’t bring yourself to look upon him just yet.

“ you heard me correctly. “

Elation swells within him, even the thought of perhaps you would prefer Thor had you met him first could not creep more than a few feet before being banished from sight and mind, it’s not something he wants to entertain. Especially for what he has in mind to plan for the future. Instead, he allows himself to be engulfed in your love, to experience the last piece of goodness that has been reserved for him, knowing it won’t last.

All you feel from your dropped gaze is your nose being nudged by his, then the weight of his lips on your own. Moving together as if they are fighting to mould into one, fitting together so well. Both of you are left breathless, momentarily caught in the feeling of the other that oxygen is the last thing on your mind.

“ do not trouble yourself over events that have not come to pass yet. Especially on an evening as fine as this. “

The corner of your lips tilt higher as your turn away from him to peer over the surroundings you had briefly forgotten. The burnt colours had long since faded into darkness, the stars being the only light as they can only be likened to being glitter in the night’s sky. A true beauty.

“ I love nights like these, where you can see all of the stars. “

“ you’d be besotted with Asgard’s constellations. “

You’d settled back into the position you were in previously, with arms encompassing you protectively with your back secured firmly to his chest. Loki explains the beauty of Asgard, and how even in the day the stars can still be seen against the shining vividness of the colours of their sky. Quarrelling against the gold hues from both the sun and the palace he knows only as his home.

“ that sounds wonderful. “ you whisper, feeling fatigue sneaking its way to the forefront of your mind.

“ it truly is a beauty to see. “ agreeing with you, resting his head upon yours. Wishing nothing more than to be able to stay there in that moment forever.

“ I wish I could see it. I’m very jealous right now. “

He can feel you becoming increasingly drowsy, flattered that you would even let your guard enough to even allow sleep to touch you. Having you on Asgard would certainly make him a happier person, to have someone who isn’t his mother understand him would be freeing. Though his father would die before he allowed that to happen, a mortal on Asgard.

“ Perhaps one day. “

Loki can’t be sure if you even heard that, but it’s something he wants to entertain. Besides, what is the use of being a master of mischief and tricks if he couldn’t make such a desire come true?