#like for the longest time i ONLY interacted with the old fandom

[starzzmissthesun]

Help! I haven't interacted with a lot of the fandom's interpretation of characters/ships other than stuff before ATYD and stuff against my will. so a lot of my ideas and opinions are purely based on the canon books/movies and my interpretations of that🙏🙏🙏

[mixu]

Hi, hope you are doing well. )

I am curious to know your impressions, anecdotes, experience of being a veteran SNS shipper. How was your experience with Naruto fandom? Has it changed? It would be great if you could talk about it.

Hi! I hope you’re doing well too. I barely receive any asks, so I’m excited.

Ah, my experiences and anecdotes being in the fandom, especially as a SNS shipper (does it count as shipping if they’re canon?) … It’s more than half of my life (I feel like I’m talking to my grandchildren) so this could get long.

I’ve been part of the fandom for 17 years, but it’s just recently that I’ve gotten to interact more with other fans both pro and anti sns. This mainly for three reasons:

Time period

When I entered the fandom internet and social media weren’t what they are today (that’s how old I am). I barely had access to internet for school and quickly read the new manga chapter before having to disconnect.

Location

Younger people don’t realize this but the globalization of manga and anime are quite recent. Now you can find merchandise even at the supermarket and a great catalogue of series is at your disposal with minimal effort. And being an “otaku” in the 2000’s was begging to be bullied at least in my country, so I preferred to keep my interests to myself.

My personality

I’m not the most social of people.

Thus, in the beginning, the fandom was nonexistent to me. It was just me, what Kishi wrote and my thoughts.

Little by little I got to interact with other people who were mainly shônen fans, and never read outside of that demographic, so there was no chance they would recognize a “non-pure shônen” even if it hit them in the face. There was not much to discuss aside from who would beat who, and I wouldn’t have been able to articulate it back then anyway, but my guts knew there was something different about Naruto. More than met the eye.

I next met a different part of the fandom in the form of fanart and fanfiction, but at that time it never crossed my mind that people would cling to those non-canon portrayals with their life. I would say most of these fans are avid consumers from other demographics that got attracted because something (the romance or the potential gayness) caught their eye, but are only interested in how to bend the characters to fit their vision. I know fanfiction and fanart are supposed to be self-indulgent, I enjoy it and write it even, but I’ve mostly managed to separate from the real thing. Not many discussions about the story as a whole (please keep in mind we were all teenagers back then).

So, none of those previous fan groups seemed to understand what I couldn’t put into words, and for the longest time, because my understanding of Naruto and Sasuke’s story was mostly instinctual, I had to go along with it. I let myself be gaslighted into believing my thoughts were just a byproduct of my fujoshi tendencies (I guess it could be right to call me fujoshi, but never due to Naruto).

After a quite long break, not just from Naruto but from manga and anime in general, I came into contact with the more educated part of the fandom in tumblr, and I finally got to put into words what was behind Naruto and Sasuke’s dynamic thanks to all of the great analysis that I found. I got vindicated and felt like I could finally live in peace but it was short lived.

When I met all the crazy antis, oh boy, I understood why ignorance is bliss.

That being said, there are indeed a bunch of obstacles between the fandom and understanding the true significance of Naruto’s story. However, not all of them are due to lack of knowledge when it comes to narrative devices and storytelling tools. I’m far from proficient in that topic and I can confidently say I got it.

Discarding those who will perpetually live in denial due to bigotry, homophobia, lack of an open mind, cultural differences, etc, and after much pondering elicited by this post of yours, I’ve come to the conclusion that the shônen label holds way more power than I originally thought. Or better say, all that shônen represents functions as the most effective reality filter.

Because Naruto was labeled as shônen:

The dudebros who only care about the power escalation won’t understand even if they are not homophobic because they came for the blattles and cool powers, nothing else matters.

The lost shôjo readers who force nh and ss into focus and think they can bend the “romance” to cater to their taste because a shonen writer would drop the ball with something as delicate. “Let Kishimoto draw his battles, we will fix the deficient love story because we know how true romance it’s supposed to look like. We wouldn’t be interfering with the hero’s story, anyway.”

All the while ignoring they are dragging a bunch of toxic tropes with them. They don’t see their pairings as failures because shôjo also has its good share of toxicity and abuse.

The fujoshi and fundashi who despite coming after the gayness, still miss the point because they do not care about the story so long as two hot men are kissing or fucking or whatever. They don’t actually believe in sns because most of their pairings are ships for fun, anything can be shipped, (pencil-senpai and sharpener-kun) so they see Naruto as a love story only under their terms but never in canon.

Then we have people that read a wider range but fail to look at the story as anything else than one written for male teenagers. Got shôjo for romance seinen and josei for more maturity, so shônen is meant for an easy quick snack.

Some of my friends, that I consider very intelligent people, way more versed in storytelling and narrative and whatnot than me, who are definitely not bigots or homophobic, still miss the point because they weren’t looking for it. They realized only after I pointed it out (I even made a ppt presentation, but that’s another story).

As for the people who understand from the beginning:

There’s of course those with the knowledge to dissect the story, and who can consciously ignore the restrictions of the labels.

Yet another group (I consider myself part of this one) that manage to bypass the rules only guided by instinct, but kept second-guessing themselves until they met someone from the previous group.

Then there’s my mother, bless her, who watches anime and loves her romances, but knows shit about manga demographics and wonders how the fuck Naruto and Sasuke gave birth to Boruto because in her eyes that little piece of shit has to be their son.

So once again, it all comes back to Kishimoto and his decision sell his soul to Jump. Was it all for fame or money? Was he too hopeful and naïve? Was it all a cruel prank?

What happened to mangakas like Tezuka? That man knew no limits.

That’s it for my thoughts on and interactions with the fandom. I think I leave my evolution as a sns stan for later if you’re interested in it.

[sehodreams]

I know I haven't posted in a long time because of many reasons but I feel I should say this.

It's disheartening to see something that should've been a happy moment be twisted like this, and I can't say Seunghan is the reason I entered the fandom, but his absence was definitely one of the reasons I felt conflicted liking them for some time.

I fell in love with the group with the MV of memories because they made me feel something I hadn't in a really long time. I was sure I had outgrown my fan era but riize with their youthful concept made me feel like just a girl again. They made some of my days a lot better and helped me when I felt a little loss in life, and for that I'm grateful, but to see a young boy be hurt and lose so much just for doing things we've all done– A boy enjoying a time of his life I don't wish anyone to miss, it's too painful for me.

I understand idols have to take care of their images a lot, but Seunghan was just a boy living his own life and enjoying things I would love all the other boys to do.

Sadly these news have affected me more than I imagined and have only pushed me further into the block (not only writing, but reading too) I was having, so I'll be taking a step back from writing or interacting with any riize content for some time, if not indefinitely.

I don't know if I'll close this blog or if I'll stop writing/liking riize altogether. I've given this (even if now quite inactive) blog so much of my time I don't see myself deleting it, but I'm trying to figure out what to do because I am sehodreams, I've been sehodreams for many years, even before riize, and I never thought any group would make me be a k-pop fan again until I started liking them, but seeing my blog be full of them –god, my longest fic is Seunghan's- is honestly just too painful right now.

I'm thankful for all the lovely messages I've been getting about the fics I've done based on them. I can't believe I got so many people to follow me and like my stories, and I'm sorry for not responding to some of those messages because I felt I didn't deserve them considering I haven't been writing for quite a long time.

Somehow, this is my blog, I'm sehodreams, I've always been, but I don't feel I belong here anymore.

It hurts that I don't know if Seunghan also felt like that with the group. I wish him the best things in life and that he gets to heal these wounds. He's gone through something I don't wish any other idol, or person, go through. From now on, I hope other doors open to him, who is talented and was such a bright person. The post he did blaming himself showed how deeply affected he is, and I can't pretend things or I will be okay and give more of my time to the group.

I love the other boys, and I can't imagine what the others are feeling right now because obviously they'll be affected too. They've worked so hard to be where they are, and I'm sure they'll overcome this.

But I'm not them.

I wish them the best, but my stability is the most important thing to me, and I can't bring myself to give them the same amount of attention and time to be hurt like this.

I've already been in fandoms that have lost members, you all know I was an avid exo-l, but now I'm 23, and suddenly I'm a 13 year old girl seeing that a member of her favorite group left again because of the bad management and abuse of a company that did nothing to prevent this. I'm sorry, but there are so many things SM could've done to protect him and the others, I'm afraid this only shows there's no human treatment for them as their workers and how any situation with the others won't be correctly managed doesn't matter what we, as international fans, say or beg.

Many won't understand this, but there are precedents of the massive hate consequences and this has been added as one more. I'm afraid what the other boys will think or feel, how much they'll fear to have a normal life and the way they'll blame themselves every time something doesn't please the Korean fans.

I can't help but feel repulsed of this kind of society.

They're already under an incredibly amount of pressure because of society standards and I had hoped that after so many years at least something had changed, but instead they decide to be stuck under their most toxic traditions.

I love them, but I don't want to support this kind of treatment in any way.

I'm sorry, this is just too painful.

[accio-victuuri]

CPN : the birth of “weiba” ( weifen wangba ) 😂

even while writing this, i’m still not entirely sure how people are seeing the data about these newcomers. i’m thinking it functions like any other online groups like a super topic. you can see which specific accounts have recently joined.

if you’re looking at the bjyx st, it’s pretty lively and people are celebrating because of the rapid increase in members ever since last night. around 2PM i think it’s 6k++ and then right now i checked again, it’s 9k+. that’s a lot, considering these two have not interacted publicly for so long. maybe we will finally cross the 4 million mark before the year ends. 🫶🏼

so what’s all this talk about “weiba”?

it’s a combination of weifen ( what we call solo fans ) and wangba ( us turtles ) . the conversation is around these wfs joining the ST overnight. so much so that you see people posting a meme ( taken from ome and only )!about a moto & shrimps housewarming 😂😂😂

This is actually not new, the whole concept of a wf being cpf friendly. There are spaces like douyin where these 3 groups co-exist and will sometimes tease each other. It’s not always toxic, but oftentimes it is. There were a few times before too when a particularly strong cpn comes out and turtles screenshot the reactions of wfs who are confused and feel like bjyx may be true.

Now what’s the “cpn” that probably sent them over the edge?

I’ve talked a bit about it here and it’s related to XZ’s work schedule change.

For the longest time, he was going to work in Condor Heroes early in the day. Then in 7/26, it was bit late but this could only be slightly affected by WYB’s condition. Remember that YBO announced that WYB is sick in the evening of 25th and they were in Hunan ( based on the IP ). We are not sure if Yibo is also there or just the staff but the thought is he did intend to come. In the 26th, WYB probably came back to Beijing a bit later or if he was already in BJ, ZZ can’t change his schedule. Then on the 27th, ZZ’s schedule is way later than his usual. Same with the 28th. These days we CPN that ZZ spent time with sick WYB before going to work. Then on 7/29, ZZ goes back the his old schedule and WYB is the same.

An additional speculation here is the photo going around of ZZ giving out drinks to Condor Heroes cast and crew. This is not something new. We know ZZ loves to treat the crew. However, this time, we interpret this as him giving his “apologies” cause he had to come in to work later than usual for the past days. ☕️

That’s it everyone! tbh, I don’t care if wfs cross over to being turtles or what. I still believe in staying in our own lanes and treating each other with respect. Just enjoy our own corner/s fandoms. ✌🏼

PS: Another probable reason for some newcomers are those who watched One and Only, then looked into WYB. 🫶🏼

-END.

[burninface]

🥞Weekly tag Wednesday Friday🥧

thank you @vintagelacerosette @creepkinginc @doshiart @lingy910y @deedala @blue-disco-lights for tagging me!! Love you all<3 cheers🥂!

how did you get into the fandom?

it's a long story: after finished the show and read a few fics, I found myself had so many thoughts about them, and wanted to create something. so at first I started to translate fics, then I wrote something in my language but no one was interested. then I started to edit, and at the same time I started to practice drawing. I wanted to share some of my things but had no idea where to post, then I remembered my long abandoned tumblr account. I was so unsure and panicking at first, then I found ppl here are so kind and inspiring and creative!!

what’s the first fandom channel you found? (youtube, reddit, tumblr, insta, twitter, FB, other?)

a local bbs for english fandoms, got some fic translations and old discussion posts on it

what’s your favourite now?

tumblr of course

which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

I think it's calli @callivich , we haven't talked much but I really want to say thank you to her, it was her reblogs and feedbacks helped me overcome my extreme lack of confidence from the beginning🥹

which tumblerinos did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know?

again it's calli! also ling and nosho made me feel welcomed🥰 pie @gallapiech for all her talented arts about video games au gallavich, sarah @atthedugouts for all her lovely thoughts on milkoviche siblings dynamics!

and all my other muatuals, every time I saw that purple Mutuals, my heartbeat's just rated up😫💓

first gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)?

it's the translation version of Favours Owed by MintSauce, and then i went to ao3 to find her other works and met my first blew-me-away The Halfway House (at that time I hadn't finished the show, I was on season 4~5 and thought it's ok to read fics wrote before)

and after I finished the show, it's when the party's over by emryses

first fan art that blew your mind?

I'm not sure… I only remember the first time I clicked in gallavich tags, all the art works blew my mind!! like one after another, kept blowing... artists all your works are sooo good!!

fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

fluffy and domestic husbands!

what surprised you most about this fandom?

everyone is just so kind! and with high creative enthusiasm! it really gives me courage to speak and to make friends. (which hadn't happened even once in last 2 years. I had been afraid of interact with others for years, so it's very important for me, really🥹, can't thank you all enough)

moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with gallavich?

ok, it might sound unhealthy but, every moment they (physically) fight with each other. not when only one side attack the other, but fighting mutually……

ian or mickey?

……can I choose or and take it away with me, then there's no others between them? 👀

which gallagher or milkovich are you?

sandy... and liam(s11)

since I'm already laaate so no tagging this time!

[trans-clown-catgirl]

btw it is so odd to me how much of a rarepair Rougamy is. like there is nothing, pretty much just Nothing, and it almost makes no sense from a logistical standpoint, you would expect the two most prominent female characters in the series to get shipped together but. guess not? it's not like they have no chemistry, idw has plenty of scenes with them interacting and they're all very good, they've got contrasting personalities and generally just gel well together, so with all that you'd expect there to be something

but . nope. Blazamy is the more prominent wlw Amy ship by a LONG shot, even though their amount of canon interactions is about the same (counting IDW, of course), with Surgamy coming in at a close second. don't be mistaken, i love all of these ships! i think they all have their fun traits that i like and honestly i would definitely rather them all coexist, Amy should get all the pretty girls in the world, but like. it's odd right?? the only thing i can think of that would prevent it is the old Sonic Channel age listings, which for the longest time made it seem like Amy was 12 and Rouge was 18, which just. doesn't check out. specially considering Sonamy is still being ever so slightly pushed in canon content (or rather Amy's crush is clearly still present), so having her be THAT much younger compared to Sonic would make no sense. And Sonic being 15 in of itself doesn't exactly check out either, chronologically speaking. Remember, these ages were removed for a reason (Amy specially, since it came from the american manual for Sonic Heroes which is full of shit and lists Rouge as 17 for some reason). So, it's infinitely more likely that Rouge and Amy ARE compatible; maybe at one point they weren't, and that could be a concern, but really they didn't interact that much pre-IDW and pre-Forces in general so it. kinda hardly matters?

ik most people wouldn't know this, they'd just look at the ages listed on the Fandom wiki, which are STILL the now-removed Sonic Channel wikis and go "oh, ew, don't do that"

BUT THEN WHY WOULD PEOPLE SHIP BLAZOUGE . i get it's also pretty rare but it's even RARER than Rougamy, so it's just. ????

so like yeah while i know not much can be done about it it's still just. a bit baffling to me how Rougamy has basically no content whatsoever. there's some reasons, but none of them hold up and it kinda just makes me wonder

[seventeenlovesthree]

You know, one thing about getting older, at least for me, is the realization that keeping up that whimsical spirit is hard. Very hard.

I have spent the past four years trying to maintain routines in regards to self-care and, while it worked out well for a period of time, the "noise" out there is very persistent to break your habits. By "noise", I don't just mean the world out there, the constant stream of social media providing you with news and tragedies, a ruthless algorithm that is very hard to avoid if you're seeking that little serotonin streak out there. Yes, I agree that our attention spans have been pretty much messed up and that it's VERY difficult to get back to some... Quiet.

That's why the noise basically refers to everything - your social life, family, friends, partners, acquaintances, colleagues, all the people out there, but also the things you surround yourself with. Habits, food choices and sleeping rhythms, once again, the media you consume while trying not get consumed by it...

I keep going on about how I had re-started drawing back in 2021 after a rough 10-year-break in which I simply didn't feel like drawing at all. I was occupied with other things during time - and if you're familiar with my tumblr, you know that that's been heavily related to football. I loved my clubs, I loved by NT and for the longest time, I could get by despite the set-backs and bad developments surrounding it. Right now I am staring at my PC and am slowly but steadily realizing that basically all the players that led me towards football have retired. Either just from the NT or completely. There are players, relatable figures, people I (used to) look up to, that inspired me, that brought be through the day, week, month, year. It was a fun time. But then the "noise" took over. The people I rambled with ended up just as frustrated and left. Only a few of them are left, but the majority - me included - has moved on to other things. Why? Because it had become too draining, too negative. The bubble had popped, several figures in the business had turned out to be unbelievably "bad people" (I'll keep this PG), things were so commercialized, unfamiliar and just... Opportunistic. The "whimsical spirit" was so hard to maintain and even if this Summer provided a little spark, it still feels alienating. There is still a glimpse of hope, but, again, you REALLY have to hold onto that.

The same goes for my other "fandoms" to be honest. Don't get me wrong, I still have fun sitting in my little corner and draw, write and create little things - even if it's mostly for myself, sometimes I do wonder why interactions have become so scarce. The atmosphere on social media is incredibly... Empty sometimes. I'm not just saying that because a lot of people have not grasped the reblogging system on this site. You may have heard the concept of people being overexposed by the neverending stream of art, "content" being thrown at them from all sides... It's become more of a product to consume than a thing to look at and enjoy and savour. And I feel that myself. I used to save fanart to my phone and computer and find myself looking at it countless times. I still do that with several art pieces, but... I assume it's because the brain has become somewhat tired that we cannot appreciate it like we used to.

Everything is just... Happening too fast and I feel like I need to have a detox every now and then. My brain still craves the serotonin of seeing new, beautiful art. But to get there, I have to get through a sea of things that get me anxious. Even with filters, even with blocking things I don't wanna see... It's not the same.

The same also applies to media in general - I'm currently in a fandom of a series that's kinda "walking on air". There is the possibility of a new animation being planned out there somewhere, somewhen, maybe... But a part of me isn't even sure if I want something "new". Consider myself "old" when I say this, but a lot of things that come out these days, sequels, reboots, remakes of things I used to enjoy as a kid... Simply don't hit the same way anymore. There's a reason why I find myself rewatching the old stuff over and over again and often have quite a mixed relationship with more recent things. EVA is one of the few franchises that, in my opinion, managed to get to a satisfying ending after ALL these years, but I am TERRIFIED for the new Madoka movie. I haven't even dared to look at Sailor Moon Cosmos, simply because I know my brain is tainted by how much enjoyed the 90s anime and how much of a clusterf*ck Crystal/Eternal/Cosmos has been for the past ten years... On the same note, do we really need a One Piece remake? And Digimon? I would loathe the idea of an Adventure remake... Because it would not only contradict the messages of the previous entries of the series; move on but keep the things you love close to you... It would simply not... Satisfy me. A part of me wants to see how the OG timeline goes on, but what if there'll be things to contradict it all even more? Do I want things to go on for the sake of keeping the nostalgia alive, even though the fear of mischaracterizations is very real? Do I really want the milking of the cash-cow to continue? To hunt for breadcrumbs? The commercialisation and... Opportunism? And why does it feel like I've heard that before...?

I don't want to end this post on a negative note. I'm gonna turn 34 in a few weeks, I've been into TV shows and had my hyperfocus topics basically since I was like 7 or so. I might always find things that keep the whimsical spirit alive to some degree. But I need to remind myself to not let the "noise" get too loud every once in a while.

[moongothic]

I LOVE your crocodad theory I'm an obsessed believer but did u ever get romantic vibes from crocodile & robin business relationship? Many people get lover vibes from them & I never understood why. They seem VERY strictly business/stab each other in the back relationship. (Plus crocodile is TERRIFYING).

I think Croco/Robin as a ship exists kind of like... out of circumstance? Kind of?

Quick disclaimer, I only got into OP in like 2008~ish at the age of 13, I can not comment what it as like being in the fandom before that because I wasn't there (and when OP began in 1997 I was like two whole years old). So whatever I say here doesn't come from like, a fandom veteran who knows the entire history of the OP fandom or anything. I'm just attempting to rub my braincells together here

Like in the year of our lord 2023 we have many wonderful Crocodile ships to classify as OTPs and NOTPs etc, but if we go back to like 2006 or so, long before the Summit War Saga was even a thing, try to think about what characters you would have shipped Crocodile with? Because for a long time, the only canon material Crocodile had appeared in was just the Alabasta Saga (+one brief cover story), and we don't really see Crocodile interact with that many characters during the story. Like. Really the only character Crocodile has multiple, extended interactions with aside from Luffy and Vivi is Robin. All the other characters he interacts with maybe once or twice for very brief scenes, so based on canon material alone, there isn't much for fuel for shipping purposes.

It really wasn't until Marineford when we finally started getting other characters to ship with Crocodile, mainly the Ever Loyal Daz who seems to be willing to follow Crocodile anywhere (romantic as fuck) and Doflamingo after he and Croc tried to kill each other twice at Marineford (people seem to love a tsundere Croc) And now with Cross Guild we also have Mihawk (and Buggy) as far as shipping options go. And of course there's MORE than just these ships, there's the more crack-leaning ships (like Dragodile and whatever you'd call the Cobra-ship) and some others (Jinbei, Whitebeard, Ivankov, Galdino, Luffy even) etc etc

The only difference is that Croco/Robin got to kind of be like, "the default Crocodile ship" for like 8 years without major competition. And because the ship has "history", even when new ships pop up the one that has been around the longest will still stick out. Not to mention, although we have options now, even those have very little canon material to actually work with when compared to Croco/Robin. Like Dofuwani exists because the two had like three whole pages worth of interactions, but compare that to the screentime Croc had with Robin? It's not even a competition

Not to mention, Croco/Robin is just. Like it's kind of the mandatory het ship. Like there aren't many straight options with canon material to work with, and there's gonna be people who really want to have a het ship with Crocodile if you know what I mean. But also, let's be real. There's a lot of straight women who're horny for Crocodile. Valid as fuck. And Croco/Robin could have like, a self-insert-y quality to it, like some people might be able to see themselves in Robin? Also valid. And that can apply to some straight men too, like I'm sure there's cishet men who look at Crocodile with that "god I wish that were me" energy, who love seeing Crocodile ship fanart with Robin, as they can project onto Crocodile etc. This is also valid. Point is that the ship appeals to cishets by simply being a het ship, but also it might make for an easy ship for a lot of straight people to project onto for one reason or another.

But to be fair, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I think Croco/Robin has the potential to be a really interesting ship. Like they ARE the Baroque Works Boss Pair, literal partners in crime, the most powerful members of the secret criminal organization who run the whole operation, they worked together by themselves for four whole years, Crocodile protecting Robin by allowing her to hide under his wings. They were together, ready to take over an entire country and obtain a weapon of mass destruction And then Robin betrays him. And Crocodile admits he never trusted her to begin with.

Like on paper alone, this is great material for a juicy romance.

Especially now when we understand why Robin was on the run and why she feared being betrayed, and how looking back at Crocodile's reaction when Robin "reads" the Poneglyph for him, he genuinely seems a little sad about her betraying him (mystery trauma etc). This is a genuinely interesting character dynamic, like even without any romantic context I would love to see Crocodile and Robin meet again in the storyline and like, see what Crocodile thinks of Robin having joined the Strawhats vs what Robin thinks about Cross Guild, how the two might interact etc. They are interesting to me

Like personally, I agree, I don't think the two were actually ever romantically involved with each other (frankly I don't think Crocodile trusts anyone anymore enough to let them get close him like that, dude's been voluntarily celibate for like two decades lmao), their relationship was surely just business-only. And while the ship doesn't personally interest me (just kinda "meh" for me), I do understand why the ship appeals to others and why it's popular to this day

But yeah, I do think a lot of the reasons Croco/Robin is as popular as it is due to circumstance. It's been around the longest, it still arguably has the most canon material to work with, it appeals to lots of people. God knows shippers don't actually need the characters to like each other, otherwise people wouldn't be shipping Croc with Buggy as we speak

[dezimaton]

musing to myself "ah, it's nice I can interact with some other artists for once during artfight for the month of july"

then I realized, it doesn't need to be just july

I could try to add more interactive activities to my art blog

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

it dawned upon me that my current mode of posting is pretty un-interactive. I just draw what i like, then post it into the abyss that is the internet. sometimes I get some really sweet tags(and oh how I wish to vigorously shake the hand of some users that consistently brighten my day), but ultimately they're one-way messages: me to them and them to me

I would like to encourage more of a back-and-forth, a dialogue, since that's what I miss the most from the old internet before the current state of social media: I miss talking with people! exchanging goodies! appreciating ocs and sharing my own!

I don't think I'll be able to recreate that environment, but I can at least try my best to cultivate the energy

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

so I brainstormed

art trades + compliments

freeform + meme commissions

oc asks + doodle responses

(open to suggestions if anyone has ideas!)

there are reasons why I don't do these presently, but I think perhaps in a limited capacity they are worth trying to see how it feels

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to elaborate-

art trades & commissions: I love drawing for other people! I love seeing everyone's varied ocs and their unique lore! and I love seeing people smile when they're handed a little art treat

artist-request-fatigue permitting, I could, would, and have spent my free time drawing for others for a good couple of years

The downside is that I end up neglecting my own characters. So sometime on my art journey I decided to distance myself from trades and comms to allow space for personal work

This decision freed me up to fall into an obscure fandom and end up STILL only sparsely drawing my own ocs. (oops!) But I don't regret the time I spent hellswording. I met a lot of good people and made a number close friends that I still talk to

So I'm thinking at a low frequency of once a month, I could try to do a little art trading/comms while retaining the rest of my free time for my own art (and life things that aren't drawing haha!)

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oc asks + responses: this one is a two pronged 'why not'

first one is, admittedly, that writing and characterization are a major weak point of mines

For the longest time my characters were design-only. I could assign them a profession and vaguely imagine a world they exist in, but I could not wrap my head around what personality they'd have and how they'd react to things- their likes and dislikes- how they'd interact with others (such vital stuff!)

After my stint in addhell, reading a great deal of fanfiction (and scuffily writing baby's first fics), I only recently started to grasp how to imagine an interaction and setup a scene

I'm still weak in this area which makes me hesitate, unsure I'd be able to answer oc asks definitively, but I think the /trying/ is part of the process of figuring them out

It's kind of silly, but I have this worry of answering one way then later deciding it's no longer accurate. Slowly trying to accept the idea that my word need not be law forever. I am not a company trying to maintain a consistent depiction. My ocs are allowed to grow with me and I am permitted to change my mind (because doing so too- is discovery in a way)

-

The second wrench in the gears is that most of my ocs are positively ancient! dating back to 2013 (holy shit, the time really does pass) I still love them dearly, but their designs and stories are, as one would expect, outdated

I have not revisited their lore because while they have potential, they're so scattered (1-2 per verse...) and so bare bones I'd need to invest a lot of energy to flesh them out. the ideas will remain at the back of my mind, but I don't plan to work on them anytime soon. As such, they aren't well suited for oc asks since I don't have much depth to scratch at

Of the new guys, I have Tive! my cute lil sona! pngtuber for streams! and overall representative stand-in for socials. I don't intend to do anything with him other than draw him for fun, so he is free to meme! He has a little story packed with visuals I like, so I'd be happy to share more about him

The other 5 characters that I really want to share but haven't are for bhg. This is a little rpghorror game I want to make! Because they're involved in a story I want to tell (but try not spoil), as well as the project being very slow moving with just me working on it- I feel there is a low risk to sharing them at this stage

I've been working on them for the past year or so. My goal was to design them as a group so they complement each other in look, theming, and personality (trying to cook up fun interactions). It was a lot of effort going back n forth between characters, making multiple revisions, but I think I'm finally at 90% complete! I have a well balanced looking cast that I feel rather proud of

Lately I've turned my attention back to trying to assemble the slew of potential themes/scenes together into a reasonable timeline. Once again, writing is not my strong suit so boy am I feeling The Difficulty

pros

answering oc asks may help me figure their personalities better & iron out kinks in the visual designs as i doodle them

its a half-baked storytelling method, but not without merit- if i end up never finishing the game (I want to believe in myself though)

it'll be fun!

cons

answering asks may detract energy from development (but I'm not always motivated so this might not be so bad if i do it during muse downtime)

risk of AI datascraping/idea respinning before I can finish my vision

So- I think I can answer asks for Tive for sure! It feels a little lonely for him to be the only character up for questions, so I'll stew over some more whether I want to introduce and include bhg crew. I do want to try at least once though!

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If you've made it this far down this long ramble, wow. thank you for listening to me rave like a madman haha

After this year's artfight comes to a close on Aug3 (it was extended), I hope you'll consider chattering with me once I write up how the trades/comms will work. I've thought out an easygoing system that i hope will be fun and low stress ✨

[tidemoonchild]

What are your favorite tumblr blogs?

Oooooohhhh an opportunity to make an appreciation post! (Btw the order doesn't mean anything so know if you are the last on the list doesn't mean I love you any less!)

PS: Had to make this two parts because apperantly tumblr only allows 4096 words...

Part I (here) | Part II

@antvnger: I know Ant Mun for a while now. Met them sometime at the start of this year I guess and even if we haven't interacted much lately and stuff I'm still going through his page almost everyday to see what he has been up to. The mun is one of the sweetest persons I ever met and is so amazing in potraying Scott (who I just live as much as I love Ant Mun).

@spideymn: Probably the one I know the longest here on tumblr. I met her somewhen at the end of last year and we wrote together like every day before I went on a longer tumblr break. I was so sad and heartbroken when I couldn't find her on tumblr anymore not knowing that we have been writing together the whole time not knowing that it was us. Guess the moment we realized it, was one of my absolut favorite moments here on tumblr. She's such a sweet and honest person and she was one of the first who let me feel comfortable for being myself and to reach out to her for whatever reason. And tbh she's also one of the persons why I decided to come back here in the first place.

@silently-judgingyou: Another one I know longer here. While the two of us haven't talked as much as I did with Spidey Mun I still enjoyed our conversation and our rps. They're always so wholesome and I love to see the interactions between MJ and Morgan and how both of them started to build a sisterly bond. I also love the thread we started with Katya and MJ. We haven't done much yet but it's so funny to see the two girls who don't want to talk to anyone and want to be left alone get to know eachother. The mun is also such a sweet and nice person and I'm so happy to have her around.

@remarkableheroes: My dear and beloved Bucky! The moment I saw your OC Anya I instantly fell in love and thought OMG! Wanna write with them! You have no idea how scared I was to reach out and how happy I was when you said yes. And now look at us! We just talked about making our Ocs officialy to eachothers stories, something I thought I would never do again until I met you. In all these years you have been the first Oc mun where I felt comfortable to try it again. I love everything about you and Anya but also your other muses. You are such a sweet and amazing person and I'm so happy that I found you and got to know you.

@skallagrimulfhedinn/@michaelandadam: Another person I knew from my first try here on tumblr and who I love so much. The mun has such amazing characters and I love writing with them so much. I love Skallagrim and Ash and tbh when the Mun told me about the SPN rp blog I made a little scream. SPN has been one of my favorite fandoms I was ever part of and I literaly cried during the last episode. I was really suprised and happy to see how SPN is kinda making a return. and this Mun plays Adam so well and I can't wait to see how they will play Michael at one point.

@azuresrp: Guess what? Yep this beautiful person here was also one of my old friends who I found here on tumblr before my break… Or more like who found me. They're so sweet and amazing and have such a great character. I love Ryan, I love his story and I love the mun and our interactions. Most of all I love our ooc talk and plotting. It's just so much fun to talk with them about our characters or about whatever else we are talking about. And it's so funny everytime we haven't spoken for a while both of us can be sure the next message will start with a "Sorry it took so long… life happened."

@kyber-infinitygems/@neonsoundbite: Amazing person, amazing Mun, amazing Ocs, amazing Story! Just AMAZING! I love Luc and I love Brenna! They're also one of my favorite Ocs I saw here on tumblr. I love talking ooc with the mun which we have done the most and I love it so much that she shares the same love for Bruce than I do. I literaly know not a single person who has Bruce as one of their favorites and I was so happy when I saw her love for Bruce! And I also love the fact that she shipped her Oc not with a major character like Steve, Tony or Thor like everyone else always does… No she chose Kurt Goreshter. Such an amazing character who honestly doesn't get enough love and attention. Like he's actually so funny but always gets overlooked and forgotten! But not by her which I think is so cool and awesome. And omg her drawings and edits! They're so amazing!

[wheelsup-sevenup]

20 questions for 20 writers

thank you @gingerpeachtea for the tag!! :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 20 😮‍💨

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 69,349. (69‼️‼️)

3. What fandoms do you write for? a lot of marvel, mostly black widow (meaning nat-centric, though i do have a lot for bw 2021) or hawkeye (queerplatonic kate/yelena i love and miss you), and lately some agents of shield too!! those are the ones i tend to finish + post but trust i have so many wips from other fandoms locked and loaded. how do we feel abt tma

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. you’ve begun to feel like home — 926 kudos, wednesday (2022) 2. at least i know i am here to stay — 575 kudos, hawkeye (2021) 3. we’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got — 485 kudos, black widow (2021) 4. okay, this looks bad — 329 kudos, hawkeye (2021) 5. put your arms around somebody else — 306 kudos, hawkeye (2021)

goddd these are all so old haha. anyway

5. Do you respond to comments? ofc!! sometimes it takes me a min because i like to let em marinate but yes i love the interactions and sometimes you get a conversation going its delightful!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ooh shit. see a lot of my fics are angsty as hell but they tend to end on a positive or at least hopeful note so this is hard. maybe nothing we were ever trained for ? or take this longing from my tongue if it was finished lol, the last chapter’s pretty angsty

7. What���s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? probably put your arms around somebody else. just a coupla goofballs being dumb and gay (platonically)

8. Do you get hate on fics? not yet and hopefully never. i’ve had some low reading comprehension takes tho

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? ooh so. i would. and i might. especially the angsty thematic and insightful kind

10. Do you write crossovers? yes :3 i don’t even have my longest one posted and i fear it never will be

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? god i hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? no but i have gotten comments in other languages which means someone translated it, if that counts lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? noo but i absolutely would

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? i’ve never shipped anyone or anything (/j i just can’t choose)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? either my aos high school au (the outline is delicious but it refuses to be written) or that kate/yelena road trip thing. i actually really want to finish that one too but it’s been soooo long

16. What are your writing strengths? i’ve been told i keep things in character really well esp. dialogue, which is super cool and i’m really glad things come across that way. one thing that helps is to take real lines from the character and write them out to see how their speech actually looks written and not spoken, i figure stuff out better that way

17. What are your writing weaknesses? umm sitting down. writing. completing literally anything. not deciding i hate my wip and deleting the entire thing (i’m getting better about the last one, at least i keep my old drafts now)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? well the only other language i’ve done dialogue in is russian and i do not remotely know russian. so that part is google translate. that said, every “writing bilingual characters” advice post has said that real people don’t mix languages midsentence, but i really think that depends because where i’m from, you hear a lot of spanglish, which is definitely mixed throughout the sentence, so you know. don’t believe everything you see online i guess? anyway those are my thoughts

19. First fandom you wrote for? ough i’ve been writing for a long time so i don’t even really know. but first official fic? gotta be criminal minds. jemily <3

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? GODDD I DON’T KNOWW!!!!! maybe we’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got. i like whump and i like writing it, and i think it’s really in character not to mention it was very popular.

this took me forever to finish but trust me it was soo much fun i love talking about myself it turns out <3

tags!!

@spadesmusings @katebishopofearth @lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently @quietlyimplode @thewickedverkaiking

no pressure as usual, and anyone else who wants to do this please please do!!!

[floaromaxtowns]

For the fandom edition asks, can I ask for G, I and Q <3

Ask me: FANDOM EDITION [Accepting]

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

OKAY SO I started shipping all the way back in 2006-7 when Youtube was the new hot shit around, and I was an itty bitty kid on early internet. Whom had Pokemon and Sonic as her main big interests at the time. I'm forever thankful for those old as fuckkkkkk tribute videos, with the biggest bops from that era. Although, I'm unable to pinpoint which ship I stumbled upon first, so I consider I started shipping them at around the same time: Rival Barry/Dawn (Twinleafshipping) and Shadow the hedgehog/Tikal the echidna (Shadikal).

FUN FACT- I have been SO long into Twinleafshipping that when I first saw it, Barry had YET to receive his official name for either Japanese and English versions. Gen 4 had YET to be released in the west, and we still didn't even know all the pokemon species introduced in it. So, the fandom nicknamed him as Damion, and for the longest time that's how we called him by. Until his official name was revealed.

And my very first queer ship was Alucard/Richter Belmont from Castlevania. That was mindblowing for sb who lived in a country, where even to this day same-sex couples and lgbtq topics are treated as a taboo.

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I got into Tumblr all the way back in 2015 BECAUSE of my hyperfixation on League of Legends, and by 2017 I was done with the entire franchise. I can't say I blame tumblr entirely for me falling out of love with LoL, there were a number of factors that caused me to distance myself from it (the fact I had stopped playing the game altogether, bc my computer couldn't run it anylonger). But I can say that LoL's fandom is already infamously toxic as it is, and on Tumblr that shit becomes unhinged. And I'm certain that since the inception of Arcane, that fandom must have got even worse.

The only reason we don't hear that much about it nowadays is bc, there is now actual competition for the prize of 'the worst community'. Genshin Impact somehow managed to speedrun those levels of toxicity and unhingedness.

It was through LoL's fandom on tumblr I first saw the lengths, some not-sound of mind individuals are willing to go, to """defend""" their ships. It was the first time I saw anyone receive genuine hate and death threats, just bc they didn't sign up to the popular and most wide spread ship. And I heard through a friend of mine who is still into LoL, that side of the community truly became the worst, thanks to Arcane. Bc now you got a bunch of motherfuckers who never touched the game, wanting to weight in on shit from ppl who aren't interested in the animated show.

Im gonna spread hate on League of Legends, Arcane and anything else related to it LOL

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

It's really difficult for me to drop any ship... At all. So much so, I don't recall dropping any ship in my previous fandoms (Pokemon/Star wars/Castlevania). I may not focus on some ships as compared to others, but that's mainly due to me likely having folks to talk about another ship. But I'm still most definetely a shipper.

As such, I think the very first case of me genuinely dropping a ship happened in the Saint Seiya fandom LOL. I've mentioned it a few times, I shipped Sha.ka/M.u for maybe at most 15 days. It was literally the very first ship I came across, and I genuinely loved how pretty ppl's works for the ship were. Then, the more I dug into StS' lore & content. The more I realized how this couple has little to NO actual substance to offer (by which I mean those two characters literally barely interact with one another, in the entire series).

It actually took me awhile to find out about Aldebaran/Mu, and when I did...

Nevermore looked back at it since LOL.

My theory as to why that ship is massively popular bc most of its fans likely are going off their really vague memories of watching the show, in their childhoods. And solely bc those characters look really good together (I'll give it that, their aesthetic is nice. But that's all you get bc LOL). And they feel entitled to crapping/disrespecting other ships, just bc popular ship brainrot behavior uwu.

[suzie-guru]

Heey Suzie, im a big fan of your writing! Including “Between the Shadow and the Soul” , which is easily my favorite fanfic lately, and I wanted to ask you if you are still going to continue it because I, and many other people, love it very dearly, and it would be a shame for a master piece to go unfinished. Please think about continuing it for you fans. Love you 🥰

This is an incredibly old ask and I’m relatively sure you’re into other fandoms and things now. First, thank you for the love and the kind words. However, I wanted to answer this because of something specific in this message:  “Please think about continuing it for you fans.”

I’ve been thinking about some things that I need to get off my chest here, the reason why I’ve been away from Tumblr and, honestly, why I will continue to be pretty minimal in my activity on the site. 

First and foremost, there’s something I should state - almost everyone in my family, including myself, is in a service career. Nurses, teaching, the clergy…those professions are very normal to go into in our family. And it’s also very much the norm in our family to put others before ourselves, to help whenever we can. I’m not saying this to brag, it’s a fact. And it’s also a fact that we are so ingrained to perform services for others above anything else that we often neglect our own personal needs and health and self care. 

One of my biggest struggles is being a people pleaser and needing validation from others. Unfortunately both of these traits have led me down some very detrimental paths, and I turned to very unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with it. I’ve grown enough and have learned enough to understand that self care is just as important as service, that setting boundaries isn’t selfish, and that one can be compassionate without letting themselves be consumed in the process. 

How does this relate to this ask, to me not being on Tumblr? 

Tumblr was where I got almost all of my social interactions, the one place I could cut loose with other people. I had genuine friendships on here, very close relationships. The Strange Magic Fandom experience was a heady, loving and beautiful one, and it was a huge part of my life, as were the people I met through it. It was my everything, even through the longest, darkest depressive period I’ve ever had. 

Time went on, as it does, and people came in and out of the fandom, but I had my close friends and all was good. Until I noticed after a few weeks that they weren’t interacting with my personal posts like they used to. They weren’t as constant as they had been. 

I felt left behind, rejected, overlooked. I was asking myself, what I had done? Did I fail them in some way? What way? Was it the fact I wasn’t creating content? Did they finally realize I wasn’t worth their time? 

I was deep in an anxiety spiral, and my self loathing was in full force. Each time I went on Tumblr and saw these people interacting and posting with others but not me, it hissed at me that was reminded how I was no longer important, how I would always be left behind unless I was putting others first, “you can only use the depression period as an excuse for so long…” 

For my mental and emotional health, I stepped away from Tumblr. I spent the next few months reading and working out and drawing and hiking and working and living my life. Those months turned into years. And I didn’t feel the need to come back, dive in as deeply as I had. The hurt had caused the departure, but now I recognized something else. 

I was making Tumblr my haven of validation. My whole self worth was tied to it. And when I didn’t create fanfics or update them, I thought I was failing my friends, exposing myself as a subpar artist, a bad person. 

When I wasn’t. And I’m not. 

My stories are deeply personal, and I pour myself into them. And that takes time. And I have a life to lead along with all that.

The saying “write for yourself” is an odd one - I believe it and I don’t. Creators need feedback, interactions with what they create. It helps their process and inspires them. When I read a book or go see a movie, I’m inspired by it. Creativity fuels creativity. 

Fanfiction has a blessing and the bane of being able to directly communicate with the author. The comments of those who read my fanfics are deeply deeply deeply treasured by me. I can’t even begin to say how much they mean to me. 

My stories are personal but I share them because I want to. People see themselves echoed in stories, and that’s why they matter. I want to share my stories because I want to give others the same experiences I’ve had reading stories. 

So I do write for people in that I share my stories. But I also write for myself. I write because the words won’t leave me, because the scenes keep playing in my head, because I want to chase after all the questions. I write to get the damn thing out of my head and onto the page so I finally have space in my skull. I write to satisfy my soul, hungry hungry hungry thing that it is. 

But I have learned a hard lesson, and I know myself better now then I did when I started posting fanfiction. And while I’m absolutely certain it was not intended in such a way, “continuing it for you fans” is something I will not set store in because I’ve been down that path. I don’t like what it did to me, what I did to myself.

I plan to continue my stories. But I will no longer apologize for taking my time with them because it is just that: mine. 

[pearwaldorf]

20 questions for fic writers

sorta tagged by @antivanruffles

How many works do you have on ao3?

130 excluding the the podfics I'm listed as a co-author on

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

230,000. I'm a very succinct writer!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently OFMD. I have written a lot of (in descending order) Star Wars sequel trilogy, Good Omens, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Critical Role, and MCU.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

we wore the jacket for the longest time (Star Wars ST, Finn/Poe/Rey, 3200)

well you laughed baby it's okay (it's buzzcut season anyways) (nsfw; Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, 1100)

human sacrifice and mass hysteria (nsfw, DA:I, Cullen/Dorian, 1080) This one has a weirdly long tail. I still get bursts of kudos on it every now and then.

balance theory (The Old Guard, Joe/Nicky foe yay, 660)

taste the stardust in my mouth (Star Wars ST, Finn/Poe/Rey, 560)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do not. I don't have enough energy to write and respond to comments, so I'm sure people would rather I write. They are all appreciated though <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

a knife on the things that held us together for sure. It sets up the rift between Han and Leia after Ben's attack on the Praxeum and it's the last time Leia sees her brother. I was so emotionally wiped by it I couldn't even think about writing for two weeks hahaha

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings, or at least hopeful ones.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

If I do nobody has ever told me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I'm not sure what "what kind" means.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written exactly one, the Will Graham/Aziraphale one (I swear it makes sense in context). ngl it's pretty weird. Plenty of AUs set in different universes though!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have. Somebody plagiarized "but you laughed baby" beat for beat. When I confronted them about it they said they must have subconsciously regurgitated it. Binch, I had to reread my own fic to compare, don't give me that shit. (They deleted their entire account afterwards. I'm not sad.)

12. What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

Shortest is drabbles, and those take anywhere from 15-30 minutes. Longest? I still have a Mass Effect fic that I've been picking at on and off since 2012. I should just finish it up.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I refuse to pick.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Good Omens While You Were Sleeping AU is my only actual posted WIP. There are Reasons I tend not to post unfinished stuff.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm really good at nailing character voices and dialogue. I think I'm decent at striking a balance between pretty language and making sure it still moves things along. I have been told I'm very good at intimate character interaction.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

What the fuck is a plot?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Unless you're going for the half-remembered vocabulary because diaspora kid vibe (which I did in my Shang-Chi fic), get somebody fluent to translate for you. The amount of horrific Spanish I've seen in OFMD fic is... not good.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X2! I thought I was very clever making puns on "le petit mort" in a Rogue fic

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I have a series! I love the extremely weird ones I wrote just for myself that nobody else seems to like, although the Ed/Blackbeard/Stede one is an exception.

I am where memes go to die, so if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged.

[promisinininining]

post project rambling

blood spills over is finished!

The whole thing has been planned from the beginning, but the exact scope of it kept creeping and creeping until it went form something I thought I could finish in around 5k words, to 10k, to 20k, at which point I gave up trying to estimate the length it would end up at. The last part (five of pentacles, reversed) ended up being longer than the previous parts added together, sitting at 26 out of 47k. Oops! That's longer than the previous longest fic I'd written on its own! It was only supposed to be a little thing to tide us over until the final part but ,,. uh, well, I got carried away a little. I had only written parts 1 and 2 before I started posting, and at that point I thought I was mostly done, so I thought it was safe to do so. (As an addendum, I did start posting because of my cute little stalker digging up my old accounts and sending abuse to those inboxes, where I hadn't closed anon off yet, so it was a bit of a spite fuelled adventure at the beginning.) I don't normally like to post things before they're finished because quite frankly I didn't trust myself to actually finish it, but I guess because I had a clear ending in mind, I was able to get there eventually.

I am not used to being in such a big fandom, so the support has been a completely new experience, and it's honestly been a little overwhelming (in the best way possible). I have been on the struggle bus these past few monoths with moving to a new house and a ton of unexpected bills on top of it, and I don't think I would have been able to get to this point without my friends and reviewers. I've met so many wonderful people, and it's been fun being in a fandom that isn't just me and my best buds.

About the story itself, there were a few deleted scenes that I wished I could put in, but ultimately decided against. Goro was initially going to physically meet Rumi, for one, but it didn't quite fit, and it felt like it was distracting from the main story too much, which was ultimately Goro finding something to live for. There was definitely not enough time for him to learn to love himself in just the short space of time where the third semester took place, but he has the rest of his life to learn how to, surrounded by people who are willing to show him by loving him back.

Sumire's relationship with Goro is also one that I really wanted to play with, especially as two extremely cynical people who don't really interact in canon. I feel like it's easy to just see Sumi as someone who's peppy and a little airheaded, but she's also extremely depressed, and put her entire existence on fulfilling her sister's wish, much like Goro's existence is based on killing Shido. I think they would understand each other intrinsically on a level that is very fun to explore, beyond "well we both love pego". Also, Atlus what the heck did you do with her. Give her to me. Let me sort it. I didn't think it helped her character any by being kidnapped for a week then beaten up and suddenly being like "wow you're right I can live as myself now". She needed to find that inner strength herself, with a little nudge from Goro who recognises the same pain. Of course, Goro's solution was "kill the person responsible" and Sumire can't reaaally do that with a hit and run, but she has a better support system than Goro and can learn to channel that more productively. If it's gymnastics, or something else entirely, I don't know.

I don't want to go too deep into the details with futaba and haru because this is already getting QUITE LONG, and I'm certain that there are only going to be a few people who have read this far, and those people already know how I feel about their relationship. I mean I was pretty clear in the fic itself, it's one of the less subtle things, I think; Futaba is the youngest, and she's extremely traumatised, and people have been enabling her bad behaviour by indulging it. It's 'helpful' rather than invasive, and okay, it saved Akira's life... but I do think there was definitely a better way to do it than bugging his phone. (Actually, another thing I didn't get to touch on is how the Thieves blatantly used Goro for their own plan regarding the interrogation room rather than attempting to understand him or his motives, perfectly fine with manipulating him back to thinking he's manipulating them, and how much that would fuck up someone who already has a complex about being used... but that's for another day and another fic, I think).

Finally, Maruki: this man is fucked up. I know it's easy to see him as sympathetic when he has the best intentions, and wants to 'help' people, but intentions don't matter when it comes to hurt and abuse. You can intend to be a perfectly kind person and still abuse your power over them. Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly, he's such a fucked up little skrungley boy, but he's definitely not the wet cat that he looks like at first glance. He's a researcher, forward in his field of cognitive pscience to the point where he awakened his own powers by himself, and has been shamelessly abusing his position as a therapist to get more information for his own gain (which, I emphasise, is to control the lives of everyone ever so that nobody suffers again) from the main cast.

Anyway, before I sign off, I will put out there that I have been thinking about Strikers, But With Baby Rei On Board. It's been spinning in my head since I finished. it's not going to happen (I refuse to do an entire game rewrite--just the third semester was an entire Thing, and I hate rehashing canon scenes), but hopefully you can glean some fun and entertaining thoughts about it. If you do, let me know! or don't.

A'ight, that's it from me. Thank you for reading. It's been... well, not long, but I feel like my writing is a little dense and requires some re-reads to fully experience it, so it FEELS longer than it is. Either way, I am kissing gently every single one of you who have made it this far down my massive ramble. Thank you, truly.

MIS

[sonseulsoleil]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @hmslusitania! Thanks Hayley!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

110

2. What’s your total word count on AO3?

483,852

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Whatever I am obsessed with at the moment. The last stuff I was working on was Percy Jackson fic, before that Heartstopper (and I WILL get back to those wips eventually). Oh, and Newsies is also currently in the works! Basically I have ADHD and I am all over the place all of the time. I'll go back to wips I started 5 years ago and keep working on them. What I've written vs what I've actually managed to polish and post is a HUGE disparity lol

4. Top five fics by kudos

- All We Do Is Run

- Let the Whole World Melt Away

- never saw you coming (and I'll never be the same)

- sugar, butter, flour (what a mess I'm making)

- stay in my arms if you dare (or must I imagine you there)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, almost always. It takes me awhile sometimes, but I try to respond to every comment. I worry that if I don't respond, people will stop commenting.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I've written a couple Major Character Death fics, but they're not on AO3 because they were just drabbles so I only posted them on tumblr (also they're very old and bad)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm maybe All We Do Is Run, just compared to the source material lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have a couple times. Mostly on fics where I've introduced OCs, which sucks.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, sometimes. But I don't post it. I write it for myself and will maybe share it with friends if they're interested.

10. Craziest crossover?

I've never written a proper crossover. I'll write AUs where I take the characters of Property A and put them into the story of Property B, but I've never written a true crossover where characters of two properties interact.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, but I've definitely had fic concepts stolen. Which sounds petty, but I've made posts about fics I'm working on and had people take them and write their own fics with the same details I mentioned and it's like. Not plagiarism exactly and it's impossible to own ideas, really, but it does rub me the wrong way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple times! It's very cool!

13. Have you ever Co-written a fic?

I tried once a long time ago and it went poorly. Turns out I am not a very good collaborator sometimes.

14. All time favourite ship?

I don't--you want me to pick ONE?! are you kidding lol

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have SO MANY. There's a Star Trek fic I've been working on off and on since Beyond came out. There's my mermaid!Buck 911 fic. There's my current Heartstopper fic. There's my PJO Anastasia fic. There's my angst canon divergence Psych fic. My google drive is a graveyard of partially written stories begging to see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing things, clearly.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Depends wildly. I've written this in some Heartstopper fics, because Nick speaks French. And I had a friend who is fluent in French help me get it right. I think when people take the time to find a fluent speaker to help them or are fluent themselves, it's fine and good. And when people are just using google translate, it shows. Also, obviously, being bilingual has to make sense for the character. I also especially have beef with the way people often write latine characters/Spanish specifically. I grew up surrounded by latinos and nobody talks like that. Stop it. You all know what I'm talking about.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

ABC's Castle. Say what you will about Nathan Fillion, but that show shaped me as a person.

20. Fave fics you’ve written?

All We Do Is Run (longest multi-chap I've ever written. this thing was years of my life.)

répète (the only one of my GMW/BMW fics I regularly go back to)

tin can telephones (it's all written in texts and dialogue and that was really fun)

I'm tagging @firstelevens @memequeme @galwithalibrarycard and anyone else who wants to do it!