#like for me isolation is my main coping mechanism

[chryblossomjjk]

…

[warblogs17282]

Stolas within parties, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. (Featuring Blitz)

Let's start with a bit of concerning behavior in regards to the happy pills.

We see Stolas take two pills at the start of the day, the day where he's about to meet Blitz again for the first time in years.

But when we see Stolas again after the events of s1 e7? He takes three pills, so at some point between these two moments in time, Stolas upped his dosage, and honestly, my guess is that the of events of s1 e7 is the start of Stolas upping his dosage, although I don't have any evidence to support this. While this doesn't point to anything in specific, it's still behavior to be a bit concerned about.

The Parties and Problem Drinking.

One of the things that interested me the most was Stolas being able to call Verosika's party as being about 'mutual pettiness' so quickly, and that got me thinking about the similarities between the parties that Stella hosted, and the parties that Verosika hosted.

In this part, Stolas feels rather isolated in contrast to the rest of the party talking to each other and having fun, and it's also clear to see that Stolas feels uncomfortable as well. Both of these are obviously because of the fact he still has feelings for Blitz and has just generally been isolated his whole life, but it also shows us a noticeable parallel between this party and the ones that Stella would throw.

Stolas is isolated and uncomfortable yet again. Sure Stolas is uncomfortable at Stella's parties for different reasons, but there's still two links between them I can notice.

The first being the reasons why both parties have been thrown in the first place, and the second being Stolas' relationship with alcohol in regards to parties.

"Stolas, you know I like throwing parties!" This implies that Stella throws parties quite often, and considering how these parties are really just thinly veiled excuses to allow Stella to gossip and chat shit about Stolas to her friends while being right next to Stolas, it gives us another reason as to why Stolas is uncomfortable being at Verosika's party besides his feelings for Blitz and being isolated his whole life.

It's because one of the main reasons Verosika's parties were thrown was to shit talk and to antagonize Blitz, or 'celebrating mutual pettiness' as Stolas rightfully calls it. There's various other reasons why I don't exactly believe that the primary reason why Verosika threw the parties was to 'help others cope', that I've covered before. It's clear in her behavior both inside the party and outside the party (for example, s1 e3), that Verosika hated Blitz for what he did to her before. (I'm not claiming that Verosika isn't allowed to be angry at Blitz for that, but her behavior up to this point is 100% going overboard.)

Alongside the violence against the Blitz shaped merch and cakes (which I will cover in this post), we see Verosika openly insulting Blitz to the entire crowd, and we know that Stella would insult Stolas to her friends at her parties. So, it wouldn't surprise me if another part of the reason of why Stolas is so uncomfortable is because he's been in a similar situation before to what Verosika is doing with the parties in regards to Blitz.

So, another thing we know is that Stella uses physical violence against Stolas, as shown by the time she attempts to backhand him in s2 e1.

Guess what we see a whole bunch of during the party against the Blitz dolls? Sure it's a bit exaggerated with the knives and mallets etc, but it's still physical violence, so it's reasonable to assume another part of the reason why Stolas was uncomfortable at the party was because of his own experiences with physical violence.

"Plus, it's true, so you know you can come if you want." - Stella

"I felt it rude not to stop by." - Stolas

I believe that these two quotes point to a sense of obligation to show up and stay at the parties for at least a little bit regardless of if the party makes you feel uncomfortable. Like that Stolas felt like he had to at least make an appearance and stay for a little bit.

Which begs the question, why does Stolas stay so long at Verosika's party, despite saying "I really shouldn't stay long."?

Two interconnected reasons come to mind. The first being the fact that Stolas was already starting to get himself drunk at the start of the party, which just naturally leads to Stolas just drinking more.

The second reason is probably because of the song. Stolas was very much just thrown into the spotlight and told to sing about his relationship with Blitz, so I wouldn't be surprised if that indirectly pressured him into drinking more, something I cover in the next section.

I think something that we haven't really considered is the PROGRESSION of Stolas drinking in both parties.

Stella's Party: The party starts, Stolas naturally doesn't want to be there and feels uncomfortable, but most likely feels like he's obligated to stay and make an appearance, so he starts it off by drinking a little wine. Then the most difficult part of the day happens, Stella starts talking shit about Stolas to her friends, right in front of Stolas as well. So I assume in an attempt to make the party more bearable for him, he gets the strongest thing he can get his hands on and just starts chugging the bottle.

Verosika's Party: Stolas joins mid-way through, feels uncomfortable being at the party for a few reasons, but again, most likely feels obligated to stay for at least a little while to make an appearance, so he starts drinking from the cups a little. Then Stolas gets to a difficult and emotionally taxing part of the night, the part where he's basically thrown into the spotlight, and made to sing about his relationship with Blitz, around 23-24 hours after the full moon argument. So the emotions surrounding that are still very raw for Stolas.

After that point you see Stolas start drinking a lot more, starting to chug that cup. Plus, when Blitz starts talking to Stolas, he also starts chugging the bottle itself quite a lot, in what I guess was because he was already partly drunk by that point, and in what I think was an attempt to dull his emotions more to most likely make the night more bearable for him.

At least, I think that was the general thought process behind the progression of Stolas drinking in both parties. The scenarios between them both are quite different, but I still think that there's some similarities to be noted here.

So, in conclusion, I believe that part of the reason why Stolas has an issue with problem drinking is because of Stella's parties, and that there's quite a few similarities to be noted between Verosika's party and Stella's party.

Of course, I can't make a post on problem drinking without mentioning the time that Stolas most likely got blackout drunk after the events of s1 e7.

Blitz and Addiction.

Now, I wonder just how many of you thought the question of 'Why is Blitz so concerned about Stolas throwing it back like this?' and the answer lies in Blitz's history with drinking, and addiction.

Let's start with Blitz's father, Cash, it's implied that he's an alcoholic, both from the picture below and from the line "Remember how you used to distract my dad so I could steal his booze?", which tells us that Cash kept himself stocked up on booze all the time. So it shows us that Cash's likely alcoholism was always a part of Blitz's life, all up until Blitz left the circus.

There's also Barbie Wire who got addicted, although on a substance named H-8, instead of booze. We don't know exactly when Barbie Wire got addicted to H-8, but because Blitz says "Oh. Thank, Satan.", and the fact that Barbie Wire means a lot to Blitz, it shows that her getting addicted to H-8 most likely effected Blitz in some negative way.

Finally, Blitz has seen it again with Verosika, who is also an alcoholic, who went to rehab for it but got out because of her celebrity status. When she exactly became an alcoholic and went to rehab we don't know.

Something to note here is that, according to a study, addiction tends to run in families, and dialogue in the Queen Bee episode suggests that Blitz attended those parties Beelzebub hosts a lot in the past, because of this line "He-hey, I knew it was you! Fuck, man, where you been? You here for the party?" and "Come in and show us all up again.", implying that Blitz used to be a regular at her parties.

Plus, in truth seekers, Blitz admits to doing a lot of drugs in college.

The only times we see Blitz drink during this show has been in social settings, and sure while Blitz did invite Moxxie and Millie once on screen to a dive bar, that doesn't change the point I'm making at all.

So, what the show is trying to tell us is that Blitz did a lot of drugs and alcohol in the past, and nowadays he's not completely avoiding alcohol, but the only times he'll drink is in social settings.

Regardless of how bad things have gotten for him, such as Ozzie's for example, Blitz refuses to drink or do drugs at all, he just ended up having a cry session on the couch and just consumed ice cream. Compared to Stolas who dealt with everything by most likely getting blackout drunk.

I imagine that Blitz very intentionally limits himself on doing drugs and alcohol, because he knows so many people that have the issue of addiction.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Hey. I want to talk about how we, as a fandom, talk about Stede.

I want to preface this with the fact that I adore Stede, in all his multi-faceted, complex glory. The way that he's been brave and allowed himself to fight for a more authentic life is incredibly inspiring to me. I'm a lot like Stede, both on the surface-level "we're both femme gay men who are unable to present as anything else" and on a deeper "we both feel a sort of fundamental alienation from our peers and as a result are easily susceptible to peer pressure and tend to self-isolate as a learned coping mechanism and accidentally hurt others by assuming they don't want us in our lives." I think MANY people in this fandom find it very easy to relate with some of Stede's deeper issues, I don't presume I'm alone here.

And it's very true that there is a loud chunk of this fandom who vocally hate both of the main characters and talk about Stede like he's just some bumbling idiot. I get wanting to push back on that.

But I don't think it's really helpful to argue that people should police the way we talk about Stede. I can understand why the "Stede is my stupid bitch <3" and "Stede's cringe" jokes can hit a bit too close to home for some people, but I don't think that every joke post should need to come with a disclaimer that's like "I don't actually think Stede is a loser." Lord knows I've made my fair share of "Ed's such a dork <3" posts, too.

The thing here, I think, is that when people say things like "Stede's so cringe, I love him," that's from a place of deep affection and growing self-acceptance. I've worried about feeling "cringe" before, for a lot of the things that Stede does, too - not reading social cues correctly, for talking in ways that don't match up with the social situation I'm in, for loving things too much, for being a gnc gay man. If Stede's 'cringe,' and I love him so much...then how can I be mean to myself for the same things?

I don't think anyone who actually likes Stede and says things like "he's so dumb I love him" is being mean or simplifying the character, especially not just in a short joke post. If you've actually watched the show, then you KNOW Stede isn't dumb. Sometimes jokes just aren't that deep, and I think these posts, at their deepest, are no worse than "I relate to this guy a lot and he's really silly and I love him." It's okay if that kind of post annoys you, but it's also important to remember that they're coming from people who also love and relate to the character, and aren't malicious at all.

At the end of the day, I guess...I just think it's important for people to feel able to relate to Stede and write about him in ways that are meaningful to them, and sometimes our needs won't jive, and that's okay, and we can be mindful of that.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! In one of your previous posts you mentioned the game purposefully hiding the faces of figures who play a significant role in each OB boy’s trauma. So do you think this applies to Idia's parents as well (they have masks to cover their faces and they don't even have separate sprites but the default STYX members' sprites)?

[Referencing this post!]

There’s a lot to unpack here, so I’ve put my thoughts under the cut!! I hope you enjoy reading ^^

***Note: Many spoilers for books 6 + 7 of the main story!!***

I definitely wouldn’t put the Shroud parents into the same category as like… Mrs. Rosehearts, who was basically the origin from which other issues stemmed. The Shroud parents themselves were not the “root cause” for Idia’s trauma, the “cause” was Ortho’s death and Idia feeling immense guilt and shame about it. Not once has Idia blamed his parents or implicated them for this misfortune (not counting the Shroud curse, which is really the fault of their ancestors and not the Shroud parents in particular). I guess where some fans feel there is an issue is the implication that the Shroud parents did not seem to be there emotionally for Idia or offer him healthy coping mechanisms for his issue??

Before I give my thoughts on why the Shroud mom and dad obscure their faces (and how this does or doesn’t fit into the “purposefully obscuring the faces of those significantly related to each boy’s trauma), allow me to offer a different perspective to those who find fault with Idia’s parents. Firstly, consider that we know very little about the period of time between Ortho’s death leading up to Idia enrolling at NRC. Even then, most of what we know of this period comes directly from Idia, which provides us with a biased and limited perspective. Idia views most things negatively and does not seem close with his parents, so it makes sense that he would describe them in an inflated and unflattering way.

I think where a lot of the initial thoughts about the Shrouds being bad parents (a sentiment I myself had prior to their book 7 reveals) predominantly comes from them not being present in Idia’s post-OB flashback and Idia stating that his parents care more about results than their son’s feelings. We also learn from later that the family used to go out a lot as a group, but those trips stopped after Ortho died. These heavily imply his mom and dad were not there for Idia after the… incident. But let’s back up for a moment; where does the flashback pick up after Ortho died? Over two years later. That’s a large gap to not be knowing what the Shroud parents were doing during it. The STYX employees present also state that Idia has “completely withdrawn” ever losing Ortho, and this could be inclusive of the parents. So… we don’t really know for sure if, during this expanse of 2 years, the parents never made an effort to reach out. Even if they did, it seems highly likely that Idia rejected them. It’s possible that the flashback didn’t feature the parents because Idia largely shut them out of his life or did not deem them to be deeply linked to his trauma; he laments only the general family curse and the loss of Ortho, he does not direct hate at either parent in the flashback.

What we also have to remember is that it wasn’t just Idia that lost a brother that terrible day. Mr. and Mrs. Shroud their sons; Ortho literally (he passed away) and Idia figuratively (as he started to emotionally distance and isolate himself). That’s tough for any parent, but the world cannot stop for them just because they experienced a tragedy. Unfortunately, life moves on and the Shroud parents are in such important positions that they need to work. This is especially true of Mr. Shroud, who oversees all of STYX operations and is burdened with a curse that demands he constantly be surrounded by blot or else the curse will start to chip away at his own magical energy. They need to do this while juggling their own sadness over losing Ortho. There’s only so much time the Shroud parents can try to comfort Idia when they have work, their own emotional trauma to work through, and their surviving son who doesn’t seem to welcome any efforts they put in. You could even theorize that the Shroud parents (particularly the dad) threw themselves into work to try and bury their own feelings. The Shrouds do obviously have a responsibility to Idia as his parents, but parenting is not so easy of a task. They’re still individuals who have other things to balance alongside parenting and they realistically cannot dedicate 100% of their time or energy to Idia.

Now, please do not misunderstand me. I don’t want my words to come off like I’m pointing fingers or victim blaming. What I’m trying to say here is that it isn’t Idia OR his parents’ fault that they grew distant; to me, both parties were busy dealing with their own complicated emotions and their coping methods didn’t seem to align (because different people can have very different trauma responses) and ended up hurting Idia even more in the end. Making mistakes is human and normal. We've seen other characters also falter with their past actions and what they were or were not able to do at the time (Trey not standing up for or to Riddle, Lilia acting callously towards his children, etc.). This by itself is NOT necessarily a bad thing or something to hate on them for; I'd argue that what matters much more is how those matters were dealt with and what the results of those efforts have been. In the case of the Shroud parents, they do not appear to have bad blood with Idia or Ortho in modern day and the game has really done little to indicate that the Shroud parents should be viewed in a morally grey light. They've welcomed Ortho as a part of their family, openly refer to him like a third son, supported his official enrollment as a NRC student, and worry about his safety when Ortho tries to rush headfirst into danger. As for Idia, though he sometimes grumbles about his parents and tends to their actions as coming from a place of not caring, his peers have pointed out that being scolded is proof of his parents’ love for him. For example, Idia complains that his parents have sent him back to NRC so they don’t have to deal with a “nuisance” like him. He also says that there has been public interest in STYX and demand for accountability, which has specifically put his father under fire. We could view the situation like Idia has—that has parents wanted him out of their way. However, as Rook so tactfully pointed out, Idia’s parents must hold deep affection for him. This implies that the Shrouds chose to send Idia back to school for his own safety, and Mr. Shroud was willing to take the full brunt of the heat himself rather than let people suspect his son, whom Mr. Shroud must know is socially anxious. Idia has plenty of other stories about how his parents punished him for dangerous tech modifications he made, and how they’d take away his gadgets as punishment. Again, because they care about their children and their safety, even if they (especially his more stern and work-oriented father) may not show it in conventionally affectionate ways. Idia has pessimistic views that color his parents as annoying and isn’t as close to them anymore as he used to be, but this doesn’t condemn the Shrouds to the eternal hall of bad parents who never ever learn or refuse to change their ways.

Now, about their outfits! Mr. and Mrs. Shroud wear the same robes as NPC staff at STYX. This much is true!! … But I don’t think there is any deep meaning in this, seeing as Idia too wears the same robes?? I believe this is just the default work uniform for STYX researchers, regardless of the position they’re in (so this uniform detail does not technically contribute to the “intentional obscuring” of the Shroud parents’ designs).

We don’t really know what the reason for them wearing the helmets is, and nor is there very strong implication as to why. There have been plenty of fan speculations and theories including but not limited to: special personal protective equipment, magical enhancement gear, general Shroud family shyness, cost/time saving measure for the devs, etc. I can’t really say one way or another which is the “most correct” idea 🤷‍♂️

What I will say is that I do not think there was an intent to hide the Shroud parents’ faces for the same reasons that Mrs. Rosehearts’ face was. Why? Well:

Their faces are not censored in the same way as Mrs. Rosehearts was in the manga; she has her face shaded out by black, but we can still see the details of her outfit. The Shrouds, meanwhile are making the conscious decision to wear helmets—and highly personalized helmets at that. (Mr. Shroud’s helmet is different in colors and design than Mrs. Shroud’s.) This indicates individuality and wanting to make the Shroud parents stand out, not to homogenize them as anonymous black blots at which the OB boys’ trauma finds its roots.

To build off of my previous point, the comment about purposefully obscuring the face of the "source" of Riddle's trauma was ONLY said in the context of the manga, NOT the game. Therefore, in-game assets cannot be considered reliable for "the Shroud parents wear helmets to hise their faces; hidden faces = source of an OB boy's trauma" theory. If you doubt this, then please refer to each boy’s post-OB flashback. In the game, it is not just the sources of their trauma that are blotted out in black, it is literally every character (even the ones with positive memories or experiences associated with them). This includes Trey and Che’nya, whose younger form faces ARE openly depicted in the manga. So again, the “obscuring the faces of characters who are major trauma sources” thing only applies to the manga and the game does not follow this.

The Shrouds are largely depicted in a positive light. The negative aspects of them tend to come from Idia, who tends to have a pessimistic slant to his perception of the world and other people.

Idia’s personal accounts and even his post-OB flashbacks do not attribute or credit his parents for any aspect of his trauma. Much of the guilt and shame he feels is self-imposed and directed at himself.

As I’ve pointed out earlier in this post, we are assuming a lot of things about what happened in Idia’s life following Ortho’s death. The downside to this is that it doesn’t grant the parents any grace and takes everything we see (as little as it is) at face value without considering alternatives or how the parents could have changed in recent years.

Again, we don’t have a lot of information on why the Shrouds wear the helmets. I don’t think it’s wise to assume it’s for a bad reason when most of the canon has indicated we are supposed to “like” the Shrouds (or, at the very least, they’re supposed to be “redeemed” compared to the initially negative comment we were given of them).

In conclusion: no, I don’t think Idia’s parents are wearing their helmets because they’re associated with their son’s trauma. To me, the helmets feel like something they must wear for some in-universe purpose such as additional protection or to indicate their role within the organization.

[robitherat]

Thinking about the fact that most of Tims character arch is based around him actually dealing with the things from his past

Like a major part of tims character is his denial of the things that happened to him-- his repression of memories, chalking things up to hallucinations, suffering in silence, brushing off any concern from those around him ("Tim what's that?" "Just some medicine I need to take" "Are you sick, do you need to go home?" "No I'm fine.") The fact that he never mentioned his medical history or his time at the hospital to Jay until he was basically forced to.

And what was it that finally made him tell Jay about the hospital? The operator directly attacking him and making him relive scenes from his past. It wasn't until he was forced to realize what was at stake, forced to essentially confront the danger he was in by bottling up his past, that he willingly (at least somewhat) shared that information with someone. I do like to think that maybe Tim opened up to Brian in college, but as far as cannon evidence, we only really see Tim willingly talking to Jay about it. Brian knew, sure, but it's just as easy to assume he found that after the fact-- that he caught Tim in the lie, rather than Tim telling him outright.

And Tim really isn't a great liar, either. Like I know we talk about Jay being a little bit of an idiot (rightfully so) but Tim's main course of lying is. The most obvious deflection in the world. When Jay mentions the tape in his house, Tim's response is to immediately deflect ("I'm a little more worried about my house right now.") which would be a smaller thing if Tim wasn't intimately aware of how important it was to find and watch any tapes they possibly could. Tim's only method to coping with things that happen to him and the people around him is through denial, even in times when it would be infinitely more beneficial to acknowledge the issue at hand.

What's even more interesting to me is that Tim is seemingly the only character that makes any genuine progress in fighting against the operator. But that comes with the caveat that Tim is only able to do so when he actually confronts the operator, and by association, the issues of his past.

The only way he and Jay are able to make amends and move on is by Tim telling Jay about the hospital, which was only spurred on by Tim being forced to relive his trauma. Right after Tim tells Jay to stay out his life, he (by force of tta) has a relapse and ends up paired with Jay anyways. The only way he's able to get Jay and himself away from Alex's house in one piece is by literally physically standing up to the operator. In the fight against Alex, the whole time he's being ported around, he is monologuing about his past-- he's finally acknowledging the things that happened to him, that they weren't his fault, that they affect other people, and that violence isn't the answer to dealing with them-- that isolating yourself and denying the truth of what's happening isn't the answer.

And of course this is all tied back to the metaphor of mental illness: the fact that you cannot deny the things that have happened to you if you have any hope of moving on from them. you can't lash out or harm others because of your trauma if you have any hope of moving past it. The reason Jay, Brian, and ultimately Alex all died is because they were incapable of facing their issues head on; they all turned to anger, isolation, violence, and otherwise feeding into what the operator wanted, or alternatively, feeding into the misery spiral of their mental illness, rather than finding healthy coping mechanisms to heal from and move on from it.

God I need to write a full analysis essay about him OKAY I'm ending it here these aren't all my thoughts this doesn't make sense but I'm ending it here thank you for watching goodbye

[soundtechrapture]

Edgelords, Fetishes, and the Long Term Effects of Cringe Culture.

This is not at all the normal content I post here. This is a much larger vent / ramble than I normally do (it's practically an essay.)

This is a bit of a subjective outlook on this situation purely because I've only really had experience in the eproctophilia community, so I'll be using incidents from it, but I'm sure other fetish communities have gone through similar incidents. Cringe Culture may be pretty much dead, and the 2016 edgelord era is over, but the aftershocks and ramifications of it are still present. I don't know if people realize how fucking isolating it is to have a fetish like this. I never asked for any of this. Why are we such a target? Is it because we're into something that's seen as taboo? Is it because it's funny that people would be into something like this? There's an artist on Twitter I've been following for a while. By the time I went ahead and followed them, they had their account set to private. Earlier today, I checked my followed accounts on Twitter, so I could port them over to Bluesky, and found that I could finally see their content again. Empty, 0 posts, everything wiped without a trace. I know the actions of someone I barely know shouldn't affect me so much, but I can't stop thinking about it. Why? Were they exposed to a hate mob? Was it fear of that outcome? This isn't the first time this community has had a creator get attacked and ridiculed. Back in 2015ish, AnimatedJames got exposed for being into eproctophilia. Now, don't get me wrong, AnimatedJames wasn't exactly a saint. But people weren't attacking him for being a pedo or a rapist. They attacked him for something that was both harmless and out of his control. 2019 comes along, and a similar incident happened to JelloApocalypse but with little long-lasting effects, aside from the odd video here or there. But for something like that to happen now, in 2024, made me realize that cringe culture isn't dead, we've just developed coping mechanisms. Some examples of cringe culture still being around include Reddit, harbouring many cringe culture Subreddits and echo chambers. Cringe compilations appearing on YouTube. And the generally aggressive, hateful mobs that still roam through social media. I'm sure you've noticed how targeted these hate mobs have become, going from TV shows and media they didn't like, to subcultures and sexualities. I don't know what I hope to gain from writing all of this. A more pleasant future for everyone, perhaps? Or maybe I just want someone to listen for a second. A few months back, someone on this account had told me that expressing kink is a form of liberation, activism, self-expression, and normalization. And that by posting, I was making the world more beautiful, queer, and happy by expressing my interests. I guess what I'm hoping to accomplish here is to make the world a little more tolerant, a little nicer, a little bit more empathetic. Maybe some day I can link this account with my main without fear of ridicule. But that feels like wishful thinking right now. Maybe some day, though.

[misstrashchan]

2, 3, 7, 20, 27, 28, 29, for the rwby ask game? If you don't mind!

2. Rank the soundtracks

From favourite to least:

V1

Not a single track I don't love. Forever iconic, each and every one.

V5

Ignite is my favorite Yang song, as is Path to Isolation for Weiss. Smile is such a tragic song of showing Ilia's parents telling her to cope by smiling, by hiding, to the present where it's twisted into an angry mantra and she's still hiding who she is in a different way. The Triumph feels like such a comeback song with how high energy it is, all our girls heading back to each other, jumping back into the fray. All that Matters is PEAK bumbleby pining angst song. All Things Must Die is glorious, and tbh I think even This Time is pretty underrated as a song for Blake/the White Fang.

V7

I find myself relistening to this one a lot. Trust Love is my favorite OP (and yes that is in part the refrences to the Little Prince I can draw). I also like Touch the Sky and Brand New Day as these kind of recovery songs for all the characters that had been at their lowest or feeling lost finding their hope and confidence, happy in themselves. Let's get Real is a song that DID get me into Renora a little, it's a bop. Was over the moon to have an Oscar song in Fear that encapsulated the theme of the volume and complimented Ozpin's fear speech. Hero makes my brain go AAAAHHHH at how it captures the hubris of Ironwood. Such a great tragic downfall song for his character. Until the End is a great listen and such a lovely surprise to have a Ruby song after so long. War is a certified banger and a great song for the RWBY vs Ace Ops fight.

V9

In fairness I don't think I've listened to this one enough, but the more I do it definitely grows on me. Inside feels like the most unique OP, Checkmate is catchy as hell, Trapdoor makes me INSANE as a Ruby spiralling song. Pleasantly surprised to have a Jaune song in Quiet that's very moving. Worthy is beautiful as a Bumbleby confession/kiss song, truly magical. As a whole I feel the songs lean into being more gentle and introspective as to the usual hardcore rock ballads we know RWBY for, even Checkmate with it's jazziness feels fresh and new. I haven't actually listened to the Edge or Guide my Way enough to have an opinion on them, but I remember liking them, Guide my Way is a nice continuation and evolution of the Red like Roses song trilogy.

V3

When it Falls is SO HARDCORE. Bleeding edge and tragedy for the death and destruction to come. I'm the One is fantastic at laying out Emerald and Mercury's trauma's and subsequently coping mechanisms. Neon is one I like to listen to a lot, it's so fun and upbeat. Divide is brutal and chilling as the song to introduce us to our main villain after seeing her for the first time in all her dark glory at the end of V3. Not Fall in Love with You is... eh. It's my Turn is a good Weiss song, but it's not one if my favorites.

V6

I really like Rising as an OP, it feels the most... magical? fantastical? idk. I like the vibes. Indomitable is what I feel like singing all the time in wake of the recent RWBY news! We really are indomitable! Nevermore as a true triumph over Blake and Yang's trauma at Adam's hands, while acknowledging the tragedy of Adam's own situation. And Big Metal Shoe is a certified banger, love all the fairytale references crammed in there. Miracle is... fine. One Thing is a great song for Neo's return and revenge quest, but I never bought into the Neo hype so I'm kinda mid on it too.

V2. SACRIFICE I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PLEASE REPRISE IN THE SHOW LATER WITH CINDER PRETTY PLEASE. Now it's Time to Say Goodbye is an incredible banger of an OP, but it felt a little misleading considering it's a song all about losing innocence and leaving behind childhood, which feels more appropriate for V3 and the FoB than V2. Shine, Dream Come True and Boop are all fun and cute but I'm not hugely into Arkos or Renora so I'm kinda neutral on them. I'm also kind of mid on Time to Die as a song.

V8. Honestly this is just the soundtrack I find myself listening to or remembering the least, even though I really like Friend as the perfect Penny song that had me tearing up, and Truth, while short was a great bittersweet song for Cinder. And it was nice to get a Nora song too. The opening for this volume never really grew on me like all the others did (aside from the "some ROSES WILL NEVER BLOOM, SOME HEROES CHOOSE THE WRONG SIDE"). I also just associate this soundtrack with fandom arguing a lot about what song applied to who and it felt exhausting.

3. Favorite Ruby ship?

ROSEGARDEN ALL THE WAY BABY!

7. Favorite lines I already answered for @hoepunkausta

20. What are you looking forward to seeing in Vacuo?

*vibrating at a frequency unknown to man* idk I think a reunion hug between Ruby and Oscar would be neat maybe. Like @aspoonofsugar has pointed out all the set up at the end of the extended epilogue points to these two having a second alchemical wedding and so their relationship having a certain amount of focus/development in Vacuo seems apparent. After so long of not seeing them onscreen together I'm excited for any interactions honestly. I miss my kids.

Wanting to see WBY all trying to support Ruby more and her actively trying but still struggling to open about how she's feeling. More of what see saw with Ruby/Yang in the Boba episode. I'd especially like Ruby and Weiss to have a heart to heart.

Very curious about what Theodore is gonna be like and whoever the hell the Summer maiden. With the Dorothy allusions and those who've lost their homes trying to make one in Vacuo, I'm expecting an exploration of "there's no place like home" to be leant into.

RAVEN. TELL US WHAT HAPPENED ON THAT MISSION WITH YOU AND SUMMER. RUBY AND YANG DESERVE TO KNOW. For real though I'm hoping we see what lead Raven to rejoin the fray too, and how she'll interact with Yang and Qrow and even Ruby, what tension might be there. Delicious family drama....

Speaking of delicious family drama, the Schnees! all reunited! I want Winter and Whitley to tackle hug Weiss to the ground! Also the Schnees appear to be being confronted with all the harm their family and company has done in a kingdom like Vacuo, so I'm curious to see how Weiss handles that. Also Winter is clearly Not Doing Good, so something I'd really like is if Weiss (as her sister) and Ruby (as a friend of Penny and someone she also offered the maiden powers too) and maybe Jaune (who was there with Penny in her final moments) offer comfort to her and they all grieve together.

Emerald. Honestly suprised we didn't get much of a sense of how she was doing in the extended epilogue, not even briefly like Mercury. But I'm super excited for what her arc holds. Seeing her integrate with the group, if Ren, Nora and Oscar are already on friendly terms with her but RWBY are all still a bit wary of her because they've spent less time together. Seeing more of her friendship with Oscar develop (gimme that Little Prince/Fox allusion with their friendship in taming each other pretty please) and like. Mercury. Emerald KNEW Mercury and Tyrian were being sent to Vacuo, she saw him off in the ship, but Ren seems suprised to see him and Tyrian on the cameras in the epilogue. Did Emerald... not tell them? Even though that's incredibly important information that could help her new allies? Because... she wanted to protect Mercury? Because she still feels conflicted? It's incredibly juicy and I can't wait to see how Emerald and Mercury's relationship comes into conflict during the Vacuo arc. Gimme that Emercury angst pretty please.

Vacuo in general. By virtue of the books I think they have the most interesting world building, the food, the culture, the different words for weather phenomenon, the fauna, the nomadic tribes, the history of being a once incredibly beautiful oasis full of everything they needed, then exploited time and again and left with nothing and yet still surviving and carving a home and life for themselves. The world building of Vacuo is one that is inevitably tied to the story because of their fraught history leading to tensions between them and all the refugees from Atlas, Mantle and Vale seeking their aid and shelter in their kingdom, not to mention the Crown seeking to restore the monarchy, it'd be easy for them to be divided and conquered by Salem, and so our heroes have to find a way to overcome that and bring everyone together. So just getting to see the kingdom animated and learn more about its history and culture would be cool. I also like desert punk aesthetic, so I'm hoping whatever new outfits our girls get will have a little of that. (part of me hopes for maybe some Trigun inspiration... we've had Gurren Laggan inspiration in Yang's outfits before!)

I would also say I'm looking forward to seeing my darling cringefail wife Cinder but I don't know if she'll be in Vacuo or with Salem in Vale wrecking shit.

27. Favorite voice performance?

AARON DISMUKE AS OSCAR HANDS DOWN. Him being the VA for Oscar meant I was destined to like him, I usually do with characters he voices. The fact he has to also voice Oscar when controlled by Ozpin, and sometimes Oscar pretending to be Ozpin, and completely nails the subtle differences in all of them is phenomenal. And as the merge progresses he's literally having to mix and merge their voices together too!!! It's crazy!!! The awkward and shy intonation becoming a more sincere and quiet confident voice as Oscar develops, and gaining Oz's mannerisms in speech with a deeper and more serious tone. That is some crazy talent this man has.

Always impressed with how well Linsay Jones and Miles Luna hold up in earlier volumes, they've consistently been the best voice performances from start to present. Also Cherami Leigh as Ilia is absolutely fantastic, it's rare I've heard her get to flex her emotional range like that in her voice work for such a complex character.

28. Fairytale character you'd want to see RWBYfied?

With how character songs are a big thing in the show and semblances that can hypnotize and mind control exist, and instruments sometimes being weapons (gestures to Flynt), I'd love an allusion to The Pied Piper or the Lorelai Siren as a villain of some kind. Bonus if you had a Little Mermaid/Lorelai Siren allusion for that victim/monster/hero duality RWBY likes to play with.

Not technically a traditional fairytale but also very much one, the Last Unicorn, one of my alltime favorite books would be beyond amazing to be alluded to, even a tiny bit. Amalthea the unicorn being the last of her kind, the rest hunted down by a wicked beast at the order of a tyrant. She is associated with silver, the moon, hope and purity constantly. A story that is both a love letter and deconstruction of fairytales, an exploration of the nature of humanity and mortality. Tell me that wouldn't be perfect as an allusion to a Silver Eyed Warrior (also thought to be a myth) trying to find out what happened to the rest of her kind.

29. Favorite opening to sing along too?

TRUST LOOOOOVVVVVEEEE AND OPEN UP YOUR EYESEESSSSS TRUST LOOOOVVVVVEEEE THE TRUTH IS THERE BUT SOMETIMES IN DISGUISE

[oleander-nin]

Hihi! I love your writing for the yan!rise turtles! I'm not sure if you take requests, but, may I request a post about the yandere turtles reacting to or interacting with a s/o who copes with the stress of their kidnapping by singing? The songs I think of would be like musical style songs like ballads that really convict emotions.

If you don't take requests that's totally fine! I hope you're having a great day/afternoon/night!

A/N, not important: This isn't as Yan as I wanted it to be, but this would literally be like, the optimal situation for all of them. If it sucks majorly, just send me another ask, and I'll edit it to make it more dark. Thank you for requesting, you literally requested like a minute before I closed them you lucky duck. If you're ever curious about requesting, you can check my pinned post which has my requesting rules linked. I recommend you always check that before requesting. I'm trying to push out as many as I can because I want to clean out my inbox before I post the 100/200 follower special. It's impressive how fast these can go once I stop being such a lazy prick. Posts are probbles gonna be a bit shorter for a while, my apologies. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Tw: Themes of being kidnapped, obsessive behavior, isolation(Donnie), yandere themes, coping mechanisms

Words: 639

Summary: The Yan! ROTTMNT turtles deal with a S/O that sings to cope with being kidnapped.

Mikey:

Is intrigued.

Will usually try and hang around while you’re singing, finding your voice soothing. Even if you sound like a screaming goat, he still loves it. You’re perfect, and so is your voice.

Encourages it as well.

Not only does he love to hear you sing, but he also recognizes it as a healthier coping mechanism.

When you’re singing, even if it’s a really sad song, you’re not really fighting him or using some destructive coping mechanism. 

Has you sing while he draws. Feels it brings you both closer together, the both of you making a form of art. Yours just happens to be intangible.

Records it when he can and shows off your singing to his brothers.

Is very proud of you and your talent

Pretends it’s not a trauma response/a coping mechanism.

He is well aware that it is, but he likes to pretend it isn’t

Donnie:

Either sits you in his lab with him, or records you while you sing in his room.

Since those are the two main places you’re going to be, he’s able to almost always listen.

Plays the tapes of you singing when you are either refusing to speak to him, or he’s punishing you via isolation and is unable to listen to you in person.

If you sing more musical style songs, he will 100% try to duet with you, especially if it’s a love song.

Will just tell you to sing sometimes. If he gets overwhelmed, and needs some form of stimulation, he goes to you and just sits in front of you and demands you to sing.

Gets incredibly huffy if you refuse.

On the flip side, he can also get extremely irritated if you’re singing for too long or if it’s distracting him or something.

Will demand you either shut up or make you go into your little isolation room to sing since it’s soundproof.

Raph:

Just a friendly reminder for Raph’s before I get yelled at. You might not actually be smaller than him, or weaker than him, but he very much sees you that way.

Anyways, he finds it cute that you sing to deal with your stress.

You’re already so fragile and weak, but you sing to cope too?

Now that’s just plain adorable.

It’s just proof that you need him. Your mind is too feeble to deal with the stress head on.

You need him to take care of you, and he’s happy to listen to your little performances.

Will scoop you into his arms(or drag you towards him if you’re bigger) and hold you tight, having you sing away while you're stuck with him.

Doesn’t understand why you stopped singing after he grabbed you.

He’s only helping after all.

Leo:

Sits criss-cross applesauce in front of you as you sing.

Very much appreciates and likes it.

Mikey mentioned offhandedly it being your coping mechanism, and Leo thought it was a really pretty one.

Begs Donnie to figure out how to cleanly record your voice without you knowing.

He wanted to listen to you sing while he’s on patrol or in battle.

Like Donnie, would try his best to sing along.

Or hum along since he doesn't want to disrupt you too much.

Usually drops what he’s doing to come listen to you, gives you all his attention.

It’s unnerving, but he doesn't want to miss a single moment with you.

Especially not when he finds your voice such a gift.

Has you sing before you both go to sleep, likes to pull you close to his chest and bury his face into your neck as you do so.

Is incredibly conflicted, he wants to show off your voice to his brothers, but at the same time, he wants to be the only one to be able to hear you.

[techramonic]

This is a pointless ask but it’s unfortunate that Vlad’s isolation lead him down such a path. I mean, he even killed his own teacher. Sometimes I find it hard to believe Vlad was full of hatred. I think he was more depressed, and didn’t see a point in living anymore. Just me ?

Not just you bud. I think similarly as well. Thank you for bringing this up because I've been meaning to talk about it

I've read from an article, sadly I've lost it but I'll try to look for it soon again — the main person Vlad targeted was the college principal. It could also be viewed in the cctv that he tried to find her in her office, but she left a few minutes prior the attack. Numerous news articles have also mentioned how he occasionally expressed his contempt in school being born out of how his classmates would "make fun" of him for being "different and not like the rest". As well as how he did not like how rude the professors were.

With the teachers, I can see where he's coming from because teens will say anything when they hate the educational system. His schoolmates have expressed their cluelessness about it — how would they know, when many teens also say the same stuff about shooting up their school because they hate the place? It's concerning, yet sadly true. The educational system is neglectful, so I can see why the students don't like being there. However, his reaction to it was disproportionate. In his own words, "But it’s BAD to KILL people. I just expressed my subjective opinion and I don’t call for killing." While it is alright to have a subjective and hypothetical opinon, killing should never be an option and he did just that.

With his classmates on the other hand, however it may be true that he felt "bullied", I think that he saw the times they laughed at him as a mockery of his insecurities rather than just seeing it as pointless fun. Teenagers are cruel, but I think what really ticked him off was because he was not "like them" in a sense that they had goals, aspirations, and they saw a future. He didn't have that in himself, nor did he believe in his own capabilities of achieving it.

He didn't make any friends nor did he want to in the first place the whole time he was at college. I believe that he developed a coping mechanism of pushing others away because people had what he didn't and it made him feel bad for himself. He was in an active form of isolation and perhaps his plan was truly a solidification of his willingness to die. I don't think he perpetrated the shooting solely because of revenge but moreso to corner himself into being killed, because then again, what good would happen when he's done with the shooting? He's dead once he picked up his gun and started.

Maybe that was the sense of purpose he could look forward to, destruction. It's disturbing, it's disappointing, it's upsetting. It's human. It's human to want others to finally see just how pained and distributed you are after trying to communicate for years and still be shunned. From what I've been reading and posting, he had been communicating the warning signs all along, though very subtly: he isolated himself by being withdrawn with everyone and would be dismissive once someone he's close to (like his family) would ask, he didn't like the idea of having friends, he talked about violence and revenge so openly, and even had sadistic tendacies when he was a child yet his psychiatrist dismissed it.

Lastly, he even mentioned to one of his friends, Rostik, that everything ends after death. He believes that nothing else happens on the other side. He has this delusional idealized version of death, considering it to be something "beautiful". I think he wanted death so much because he was clinging unto that hope for peace.

I truly believe a person primarily craves death because of their attachment to a hope of permanent relief. An end from all the pain and suffering in this world.

[whumpster-dumpster]

(this ask ended up getting much more rambly than expected haha)

hello, i love your blog and whump in general and i would like to try and get involved in the community.

thing is, i feel really weird/embarrassed for liking whump (even before i knew the term). like ashamed i guess? (im not sure how to put it into words exactly). so i dont want to tell any of my irl freinds that im into it/put it on my main since some of my irl freinds follow my main.

and i do draw and i used to write but i dont really know how to draw/write whump yk? (though i have written whumpy things before, when i was like 10, they were really shit though by virtue of me being a 10 year old) and i feel too shy to put any of my work out into the internet for all to see, espcially my writing because i havent actually written prose fiction in. years. i have played dnd (and my campaigns do tend to get pretty whumpy) but i dont think the experiance of roleplaying it really translates well to the internet?

so i was wondering if you have any tips for 1 getting involved in the whump community and 2 managing feeling embarrased about liking whump

Here's an equally rambly answer! First off, welcome to the community! You're definitely not alone in liking it or in feeling embarrassed about liking it. A lot of us, myself included, have our moments where we feel weird for our interest.

I can't tell you how to get over that because I still feel embarrassed sometimes but pinpointing your reasons for liking it can make it easier to explain if someone inquires. Is it the aesthetic? The drama, the adrenaline? The character development? Is it a coping mechanism? A kink? We've got community members whose reasoning is all across the spectrum. Understanding your reason can be reassuring and help it make sense.

As for the shyness, a lot of us make side blogs for whump content, so it can be a little more isolated/private if we feel awkward about IRL/main blog followers seeing. If your art style is easily recognizable as yours, that might not be the best solution but also remember you don't have to post what you draw (or write.) You can create whump content just for you (and if you decide you do eventually want to post some, that will have served as good practice.)

There are whump prompt lists coming out all the time that can be used for art or writing if you don't know what you want to make. You should look up the whump wheel, it's a fun one!

Re: getting more involved in the community: believe it or not, there are whump roleplayers floating around in the tags pretty often! They'd probably enjoy another roleplay partner on the scene! Beyond that, liking people's posts, reblogging them to that side blog if you decide to make it, coming into their inboxes to say you enjoy their content, sending in prompts if whump fic writers are asking for some, posting prompts of your own if there's a type of whump content you notice lacking and want to inspire someone to explore...There are monthly whump events happening all the time too if you want to participate or just reblog to help promote them. You could also ask if another whump artist wants to do an art trade with you. Those are some of the best ways to dive in!

I hope that was helpful. Have fun!

[project-changeling-zero]

My Riley! ( Unfinished Design )

.

i don't see much fan content of Amanda the Adventurer ( maybe i'm just not looking in the right places tho ), so i wanted to start with my personal design of our playable character, Riley!

╔═✬✩══╡˚✧✬✧˚╞══✩✬══╗

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠...

.

[ source found: picrew.me ]

visual inaccuracy identified. image source is incomplete. modifications required.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎…⋙

new information found.

Riley Park is the adopted nibling of Kate Park.

Riley Park is non-verbal // speech limited and usually signs, gestures, texts, writes, or draws to communicate.

Riley Park, at this point, may be younger than Rebecca Colton.

Riley Park suffers from C-PTSD, anxiety, and depression, as a result of discovering the tapes, the Entity, and Kate Park's, Joanne Cook's, and ( possibly ) Jordan Cook's deaths.

Riley Park is subject to isolation-induced decline.

Riley Park is subject to pretending Rebecca Colton // Amanda is in their presence, likely a coping mechanism.

Riley Park no longer trusts Wooly.

Riley Park doesn't know if they can trust anyone anymore.

Riley Park... may trust Rebecca Colton. she's all they have left.

Riley Park must find her and Sam Colton.

processing...

new informa-

informa-

infor-

in- in- in- innnnnnnn-

...

⋘ ᴛʀʏ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ. ⋙

╚═✬✩══╡˚✧✬✧˚╞══✩✬══╝

i'll likely draw my Riley's official design soon! the picrew serves more as general details than anything else, to give you a basic understanding of their appearance in my head.

some extra information:

i hc'd Riley as adopted from the time we'd begin to learn about Rebecca! and i thought it was interesting how they both have R's as the first letter of their name...

their hair is actually longer, wavier, and a different color! the options i had didn't suit 'em. their design is inspired by Aubrey and Robin by creaturecabin.

personally, i see them as softspoken, friendly, and adaptive. however, they tend to people-please and get themselves into uncomfortable situations just to make others happy. aside from morbid curiosity, that's likely part of the reason Riley did as Kate said and looked into the tapes.

you can't tell me this kiddo wouldn't be fucked up after everything they experienced in both games. i think, after a while, it was the main reason they became attached to Amanda // Rebecca, because she was the only one there who understood. Wooly was originally a source of comfort for them, but after he became more... insistent, Riley began to pull away, too. and then, well...

maybe it's because of the insanity of it all, but Riley finds a strange soothing feeling in the Entity. perhaps it's related to them pretending Amanda // Rebecca was physically there.

if i could, they'd have a metal bat.

definitely not projecting, but they got at least mild daddy issues.

.

if the community hasn't, i think people should make their own versions of Riley! this was fun and i have so much brainrot over possible interactions between them, Rebecca, and Sam. mayhaps even found family who suffered the absolute horrors.

if Sam ends up dead, i'll cry.

[xoxochb]

prue’s self improvemt era 🫶🏼

——— ౨ৎ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

୨୧ forgiveness/apologies

I haven’t been the best to people both online and off. the main reason being my shitty mental health and personal family issues— I took my anger out on people who didn’t deserve it and they returned it back to me. I’ve decided, whether I’m blocked or not I apologize to the people I’ve hurt and forgive them for blocking me no matter if they hate me or forgive me also if they chose not to forgive me and keep me on their block list

୨୧ ask for feedback

ask my peers: do you feel I’ve improved myself? what could I do to help myself further? what are your self improvement methods?

୨୧ change my mindset

“I’m not going to get better” -> “things’ll work out”

“I feel like everyone hates me” -> “ask for reassurance. talk to them + communicate”

“I want to skip a meal” -> “that’s okay, you can eat more later”

“I want to hurt myself” -> “I don’t need to hurt myself just to feel something. distract yourself with healthier coping mechanisms”

୨୧ care for myself

practice self care. If I want to eat junk food, go ahead, I deserve it. if I want to sit in my room and isolate myself after a long day, that’s fine. if I need to communicate my feelings I have friends who are happy to listen to me

୨୧ healthy diet

my diet, my diet… hasn’t been the great. I’ll eat a healthy balance between healthy and junk food, assuring between these both I am eating enough calories and gaining enough weight

weekly weight check in -> currently/last time I checked: unhealthy number, needs to be improved

[luxurydumpsterfire]

My thoughts on Huskerdust.

I don't really understand why people ship these two. And I don't mean that in a I-hate-the-ship-way. I'm genuinely curious.

The aesthetic is there,sure. Grumpy bartender x Flirty 🌽star? Yeah,okay,I can get behind that.

IF husk had actually been into his "flirting." (cough,cough,sexual harass).

The show makes it a point to showcase that husk doesn't like the advances Angel makes towards him.

That was one of the main points of this ENTIRE scene.

I just don't understand how people think this is okay.

"Oh,but Angel just does it as a coping mechanism!"

Okay? It's still sexual harassing. Look, I understand victims of this sort of abuse have different ways of dealing with it. And that's okay. As long as it's not hurting them or anyone else, I'll completely understand.

But in this case, it's hurting someone else. And Angel dust doesn't seem to care.

"Oh,but I only started shipping them after Loser,Baby."

Okay,now that's a whole different situation. The song was about how,instead of shutting down and isolating yourself ,like Anthony does,it would be good to try and find comfort in the company of others who are also struggling (even though Angel's situation is far worse in comparison but I digress). It was about how it's okay to be vulnerable and about how you don't have to face these struggles alone.

It's a good song with a sweet sentiment behind it,I will admit.

Still, that's not really enough for me to ship them. I will continue to view them more as having a student-mentor situation. I personally just feel like that makes more sense. It would be nice for their dynamic to be more like:

"I'm just not interested in you in that way." "You know what? I'm okay with that."

That would show true growth from Angel and I would prefer that by a lot.

This isn't to say you can't ship them. Of course you can. Knock yourself out! I was just surprised by the amount of people who did. This post was just made to communicate why I'm not one of those people 🤷

[sugoi-and-spice]

Chapter Two - Dream a Little Dream

Pairing: Bully!Dabi x Fem!Reader, (3rd Person)

Summary: If a boy is picking on you, it means he likes you. She could almost laugh. By that logic, Dabi must’ve been fucking in love with her. That thought was what finally made the tears start to spill. Not because of how ridiculous it was or how isolating it felt.

But because it was exactly what she wanted.

CW: Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), Dubious Consent, Unhealthy Relationships, Bullying, Manipulation, Humiliation, Childhood Friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Power Play, Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Drugs, Alcohol, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Attempted Sexual Assault. Future Tags: Rough Sex, Hate Sex, Smut, Porn With Plot, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst and Porn, Sadism

Read Full Chapter on AO3

[excerpt]

She skipped cleanup duty. The second the clock on the wall hit three, she was bolting out the classroom — not even waiting to hear if the bell had rung or for her homeroom teacher to ask her to hang back and talk about today’s “incident”. 

It was the sort of thing she never did at her old school, in her old life, but she had no choice.

Dabi hadn’t come back to class.

Of course, it’s not like that was uncommon. Dabi was a serial skipper even by this school’s standards. It was a strange day when he and his friends actually stayed in their seats for a whole day. She should’ve been used to it by now. And yet, every single time she couldn’t help but panic, couldn’t keep her mind from wandering. 

What if he wasn’t just skipping? What if he left the city? Ran away and changed his name a second time? Erased himself from her life for good? 

No, she couldn’t stand the idea of losing him like that. Not again. The thought was just too much for her to bear, especially on days like this, where he wasn’t just skipping gym or rolling into English late and high. Where he just took off for the rest of the day. It had her wondering lately if on days like this, she should just skip class too.

Panic filled her chest when he wasn’t in his go-to spot on the roof. It boiled higher and higher when the other spots — behind the P.E building, the defunct gardening club’s abandoned tool shed, the convenience store across the street — all turned up equally empty. 

That panic was threatening to spill out of her mouth by the time she’d finally found him and his friends holed up in an alley about halfway between school and the train station.

She nearly collapsed from relief when she saw them, grabbing her knees and doubling over so she could catch her breath, “Th-Thank God…”

The two blondes looked thrilled to see her — Jin with entertained glee, like his favorite trashy reality show just came on — and Keigo with an air of something else entirely, something she really couldn’t discern. But she knew she didn’t like it.

Dabi was the only one who didn’t look happy to see her. He didn’t look especially unhappy either. There was almost a sense of boredom in those heavy-hooded eyes.

He looked at her like she was nothing.

“See, aren't you glad we picked a new spot?” Keigo nudged Dabi and turned back with a grin, “Look how cute and worked up she is.”

Breathing steadied, albeit still a bit flushed, she rose back up to try and plead with Dabi not to scare her like that again, but the words caught in her throat when she saw the joint in his hand.

She looked back towards the traffic of students on the main road. Truth be told, they weren’t that deep into the alley, and there were still a lot of people out, including what looked like a teacher or two.

Just what were they thinking?

“Oi.”

She jumped, attention back to Dabi. He motioned for her to come towards them. With one last nervous peek over her shoulder, she obeyed.

“You look nervous.”

“O-Oh really? I-I’m not, um, I mean—”

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” Dabi taunted before taking a long hit.

“Of course I am!” she cried, quickly catching herself when he scowled at the volume. She dropped her head submissively. “I… I just don’t think you should be doing… that . Especially out in the open like this—”

She held down a gag as he blew a long, steady stream of musty smoke directly into her face, trying to ignore the sting it brought to her eyes as his friends snickered.

But her resolve was rewarded, it seemed, when he reached forward and caught her chin between his long, sturdy fingers.

“Awww ,” he purred, “Is someone worried I’m gonna get caught?”

Her heart jumped straight to her throat as he tilted her up to look at him, completely gripped by the endless sea in his eyes just inches away from her. She’d dreamed for so long to be this close to them again. And yet now that she was here, she could barely handle it. There was an intensity to them that was almost too much to look at. 

She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded nervously.

“Well, in that case...”

Her eyes flew back open as she felt his thumb run slowly up her chin and bottom lip. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting to see. The hopeless romantic in her had hoped it would be his own eyes closed as he leaned in to kiss her. The realist expected a painful flick on the nose to punish her for having such childish daydreams. But the actuality she was met with wasn’t either of those things.

It was the joint.

“...I guess you better smoke it for me.”

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[emo-rabbit]

my intro post!

hello! I’m not sure how to make these… I’ve been pretty isolated most of my life so making friends is difficult!

but… my names Edge, or you can call me Jennika or Raphael! I go by any and all pronouns, I am a transgender man who identifies as bisexual aromantic! I am also autistic!

I enjoy: Rayman (main interest), Crash Bandicoot, The Simpsons (Im just getting into it) and lalaloopys! But I also like Mythology, art and history!

I am a self shipper, I ship myself with Rayman (3 and on wards, CLH, Ramon) and Bullfrog. I use them as a coping mechanism as I don’t have the best idea of a romantic relationship

I try to keep this blog positive, as I see a lot of negativity in the world, I wanna spread hope!

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[bioethicists]

hi i hope you dont mind this question. i assume because you are anti psych/mad liberation (me too) you probably also get the pro psych reaction of "thats dangerous" and "its not all like that" and the accusation that acknowledging the fact that psychiatric and therapy "care" is so bad will make people quit that care and they will inevitably get worse and it'll be your fault? im an anti psych blogger and this really messes me up because my whole thing is that i DONT want mentally ill ppl to suffer, and thats the whole reason i AM anti psych. and i am afraid ppl will somehow be harmed by me telling the truth or making (evil!) generalizations about psych professionals, etc.

to me it seems incredibly reactionary, usually comes with a moral panic flavor, and is chock full of victim blaming cliches. it seems to me that it hinges on the fear and threat of 1. a Crazy person rejecting treatment and 2. a Crazy person rejecting authority, so again, it seems to be based mostly in stigma. and yet it does seem true and possible that ppl will be influenced in ways that turn out poorly and i dont want that to happen either. and yet again, framing it like "dont tell ppl what health care to pursue" is a misnomer since psych care is simply about social control... and that facade of health care just protects them from criticism in a bad faith way cause it makes you look anti vax adjacent and telling ppl not to see doctors. im not really interested in telling ppl what to do when it comes to accessing psych care, but my general analysis is that: is refusing psych care possibly dangerous? yes. is getting psych care also possibly dangerous? yes.

anyway the main question is if/how you deal with this. both intellectually and emotionally. cause i think its possibly the hardest part of sharing anti psych views in public. it makes me feel guilty and afraid. and i think making splicing disclaimers sucks and is stupid. so idk. thanks for reading.

first of all, i absolutely do experience this + it used to piss me off more than it does now but now it mostly makes me sad. i think you summed it up so well when you said that both refusing + seeking psych care can be dangerous.

part of it is that, the deeper i root into my belief in bodily autonomy, the more i stop punishing myself if someone takes a good faith, well-phrased assertion i've made + spins that into something harmful which i never said or intended. i am very deliberate to only spread information that pushes for expanding + critiquing methods of healing, stressing that my goal is to free people from suffering, not compound it.

i know that some people who are struggling with paranoia or self-destructive impulses read mad liberation talking points (often finding their ways to the more conspiracy fueled or recklessly phrased ones) + respond in ways that end up harming them, like cold-turkey going off antipsychotics or firing their entire treatment teams to take sketchy supplements. it does make me very sad that this happens, because like you said, i want these people to be happy + not suffer.

however, i rarely see comparable conversation about how people take the logics of the psych system and use THOSE to harm themselves. many people with similar traits to those who do what you are describing are just as likely to use the logics of psychiatry to punish themselves or distance themselves from others. they use 'coping mechanisms' punitively by becoming obsessed with 'clean' eating/dieting, organization/academics, being the Perfect Patient. they tell others + themselves that they are neurologically incapable of love or healthy relationships or pleasure. they isolate themselves because they believe they are fundamentally toxic or abusive. they dismiss their emotions as "just symptoms" + actively chastise themselves or try to train themselves out of experiencing any anger towards others or even any negative emotions at all. they admit themselves to psych wards frequently not out of a reasonable concern that they will hurt themselves or others but because they believe they belong in a psych ward any time they are experiencing symptoms. the list goes on.

all of that being said, i do experience genuine concern that people might read what i write + because of self-hatred or intense paranoia, read some sort of mandate or advice that isn't there + end up in more pain. because this exact thing also happens with psychiatry, which the naysayers you describe above are not concerned with, i don't think they're actually worried about hurting people. they are worried about Crazy people Not Getting Help. it comes from a place of paternalism + fear.

another, more positive aspect of it is that i do genuinely believe that many people are not being helped by their treatment teams but think they Have To be in therapy or in a hospital or on meds despite them not helping because that's What You Do. so they have been sitting around waiting for five years of therapy or their seventh ssri to start doing something meaningful. some of them just needed to hear: you don't have to do this; it might not be the right thing for you. i actually think these people are really well-served by hearing about anti-psych/mad lib stuff + them quitting therapy/meds/treatment ends up allowing them to look for other pathways for dealing with emotional suffering.

ultimately, i think mad liberation that focuses on true autonomy + total liberation of all peoples provides a clearer path forward for people to return from these places of intense paranoia or self destruction. i think we are all so used to being deprived of autonomy that, when we first get it back, we often stumble with it or try to provoke someone into taking it away from us. that is just going to continue to happen if we respond to it by making autonomy conditional. a LOT of us feel like we're not allowed to heal if it's not a moral mandate, so hearing that it isn't feels like nobody cares. we have to find new ways of showing that we care which don't involve exerting power over others.