#like flowers pots and pretty rocks

[yiiyiiwrites]

Baking with their mates

I’ve been baking a birthday cake today 😌 and just had this in my head. [Acotar masterlist]

The guys baking:

Azriel:

He’s baked with you a few times, but it’s the decorating where he feels the most confident. His shadows steadying his movements as he adds fancy piped icing to the buttercream exterior.

You like admiring his concentrated gaze and how the silence wraps around you. Sometimes he even hums to himself when he’s really focussed.

You can tell from Azriel’s face that he doesn’t want to cut the cake and eat it after. But the pesky dark wisps smudge the edge, so he sighs and cuts you both a slice to eat. Azriel asking bakers on perfect buttercream mix and the different size piping nozzles.

Cassian:

Chaotic mess, but you’re just the same. You enjoy the shared activity, the light brushes as you squeeze past each other to do certain parts like you’ve got a good routine/production line going between the two of you.

It’s not till you’re waiting for it to bake do you realise the mess you’ve left behind. It’s like a battlefield and you both try to get out of it by rock,paper, scissors but you end picking the same thing and end up cleaning up together.

Cassian always tries whatever you bake straight from the oven, even when you warn him not to. Has roped you into making a chocolate cake after seeing Bruce eat an entire one in Matilda.

Eris Vanserra:

Pastries are your favourite thing to bake and Eris hovers around the kitchen testing your latest experiments. He even asks you teach him taking full advantage of getting your help or opinion. Praise.

He likes when you hold his hands and guide them on how to present the pastry. Smirk on his face as you fall for it every time as you know he’s a bit of perfectionist.

Makes sure you taste it first, his elbows on the counter and leaning forward to catch your expression. Learns how to make churros after you try them at the autumn equinox celebrations.

Lucien Vanserra:

You don’t know why you even said yes to letting Lucien in your kitchen. You both started off using boxed recipes and just adding an egg, now you’re trying to make it from scratch.

You can’t help but get distracted, his sleeves rolled up his muscular arms and the way his finger swipes off a splash of cake mix from your chin.

You end up burning the cake as you were oh so distracted by other things.

Definitely would be making pot brownies randomly when you can’t sleep. Making cookies and adding everything else instead of chocolate chips.

Rhys:

After a long time of Rhys asking to bake with you, you give in and wished you didn’t. Because he’s even better than you at it!!

You should have known though, he seems to pick up things pretty quickly and teases you when you accidentally put the mixer on the highest setting and splatter cake batter everywhere. His confidence and ability to do everything makes you feel butterflies and you’re a ditsy mess as you try to ramble off instructions.

Asks you when you’re opening your own bakery and reeling off business ideas.

Tamlin:

After you asked Tamlin to bake with you, he started researching edible flowers and brought them with him, recipe book in hand for you two to try making them.

The first batch goes horrible wrong, that you end up making something simple. Tamlin goes home and bakes them again multiple times till he perfects them.

He returns a week later, offers you some beautiful cakes decorated with flowers and flavoured with them. Gives you a recipe he amended that makes the best cakes.

[anipgarden]

Things to Do that Aren't Related to Growing Plants

This is my second post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps!��

Some of us just don’t have much luck when it comes to growing plants. Some of us simply want to aim for other ways to help that don’t involve putting on gardening gloves. Maybe you've already got a garden, but you want to do more. No problem! There’s a couple of options you can look into that’ll help attract wildlife in your area without even having to bring out any shovels!

Provide a Water Source

Oftentimes when I see ‘add a water source’ in informational articles about improving your backyard for wildlife, it’s almost always followed by an image of a gorgeous backyard pond with a waterfall and rock lining that looks expensive to set up, difficult to maintain, and overall just… not feasible for me. Arguably, not feasible for a lot of people. And that’s okay! There’s still ways to add water in your garden for all kinds of creatures to enjoy!

There’s tons of ways to create watering stations for insects like bees and butterflies. A self refilling dog bowl can work wonders! Add some stones into the receiving tray for insects to land on or use to climb out, and you’ve got a wonderful drinking spot for all kinds of insects! You can also fill a saucer or other dish with small stones and fill it, though it’ll likely need refilling daily or even several times a day during hot times. 

I've seen people online use all kinds of things to make water features. Some go with terra-cotta pots, pebbles, and a cheap pump to get a small and simple fountain. Others use old tires, clay, and a hole in the ground to create an in-ground mini pond system. If all else fails, even a bucket or watertight box with a few plants in it can do the trick--though do be wary of mosquitoes if the water isn’t moving. In situations like these, a solar-powered fountain pump or bubbler are great for keeping the water moving while still making it a drinking option for wildlife (it not even more appealing for some)--and these items can be obtained fairly cheap online!

Bird baths are an option as well--a classic way to provide for birds in your area, they can be easy to find online or in a gardening store! The only downside is that a good, quality bird bath can be pricey up-front. However, a nice stone bird bath should last a long time, be easy to clean and refill, and be enjoyed by many birds! I’ve also seen tutorials on how to make your own with quickcrete! Bird baths will be a welcome sight to birds, as they provide a space for them to drink and bathe to regulate the oils in their feathers for flight and insulation. Putting a stone in the middle will also help insects to escape if they fall in, and provide a place to perch so they can get their own drink. You’ll want to change the water and clean the baths regularly--as often as once a week, if you can manage it.

If possible, it’s highly encouraged to fill and refill water features with rainwater instead of tap water. Tap water is often treated, so instead of using hoses or indoor kitchen water, collecting some rainwater is a great alternative. Collecting rainwater can be as simple as leaving cups, bins, or pots outside for awhile.

Butterflies and other creatures will also drink from mud puddles. If you can maintain an area of damp soil mixed with a small amount of salt or wood ash, this can be fantastic for them! Some plants also excel at storing water within their leaves and flowers (bromeliads come to mind), making them an excellent habitat for amphibians as well as a drinking spot for insects and birds.

Bird Feeders and Bird Houses

Some of the fancy, decorated bird feeders are expensive, but others can be pretty low-cost--I got my bird feeder from Lowe’s for around 10 dollars, and a big bag of birdseed was around another 10 dollars and has lasted several refills! If you don’t mind occasionally buying more birdseed, a single birdfeeder can do a lot to attract and support local birds! If you’re handy, have some spare wood, and have or can borrow some tools, you may even be able to find instructions online to make your own feeder. You may not even need wood to do so! Even hummingbird feeders, I’ve found, are quick to attract them, as long as you keep them stocked up on fresh sugar water in the spring and summer!

An important note with bird feeders is that you have to make sure you can clean them regularly. Otherwise, they may become a vector for disease, and we want to avoid causing harm whenever possible. Also keep an ear out and track if there’s known outbreaks of bird diseases in your area. If local birding societies and scientists are advising you take your birdfeeders down for awhile, by all means, do it!

Bird houses are naturally paired with bird feeders as biodiversity promoters for backyard spaces, and it makes sense. Having bird houses suited to birds in your area promotes them to breed, raise their young, disperse seeds, and generally engage in your surrounding environment. Setting them up takes careful selection or construction, preparation, and some patience, but sooner or later you might get some little homemakers! Keep in mind, you will need to clean your birdhouses at least once a year (if not once per brood) to make sure they’re ready and safe for birds year after year--you wouldn’t want to promote disease and parasites, after all. But they could be a valuable option for your landscape, whether you purchase one or construct your own! 

Again, do make sure you're putting up the right kind of boxes for the right kinds of birds. Bluebird boxes are some I see sold most commonly, but in my area I believe they're not even all that common--a nesting box for cardinals or chickadees would be far more likely to see success here! And some birds don't even nest in boxes--robins and some other birds are more likely to use a nesting shelf, instead! Research what birds live in your area, take note of any you see around already, and pick a few target species to make homes for!

Solitary Bee Houses

A bee house or bee hotel is a fantastic way to support the solitary bees in your area! For a few dollars and some annual cleaning, you can buy a solitary bee house from most big box nurseries. Alternatively, you can make one at home, with an array of materials you may already have lying around! You can even make them so that they’ll benefit all kinds of insects, and not necessarily just bees.

Though you don’t even necessarily have to break out the hammer and nails, buy a ton of bricks, or borrow a staple gun. Making homes for tunneling bees can be as simple as drilling holes in a log and erecting it, or drilling holes in stumps and dead trees on your property. You might even attract some woodpeckers by doing this!

Providing Nesting Area

There are tons of different kinds of bees, and they all make different kinds of homes for themselves. Not all of them make big cavity hives like honey bees, or will utilize a solitary bee house. Bumblebees live in social hives underground, particularly in abandoned holes made by rodents--some others nest in abandoned bird nests, or cavities like hollow logs, spaces between rocks, compost piles, or unoccupied birdhouses. Borer, Ground, and Miner bees dig into bare, dry soil to create their nests. Sparsely-vegetated patches of soil in well-drained areas are great places to find them making their nests, so providing a similar habitat somewhere in the garden can encourage them to come! I do talk later in this document about mulching bare soil in a garden--however, leaving soil in sunny areas and south-facing slopes bare provides optimal ground nesting habitat. Some species prefer to nest at the base of plants, or loose sandy soil, or smooth-packed and flat bare ground. They’ve also been known to take advantage of soil piles, knocked over tree roots, wheel ruts in farm roads, baseball diamonds and golf course sand traps. You can create nesting ground by digging ditches or creating nesting mounds in well-drained, open, sunny areas with sandy or silty soil. However, artificially constructed ground nests may only have limited success. 

Providing Alternative Pollinator Foods

Nectar and pollen aren’t the only foods sought out by some pollinators! Some species of butterflies are known to flock to overripe fruit or honey water, so setting these out can be an excellent way to provide food to wildlife. You may want to be cautious about how you set these out, otherwise it can help other wildlife, like ants or raccoons. Butterflies may also drop by to visit a sponge in a dish of lightly salted water. 

Bat Houses and Boxes

Big or small, whether they support five bats or five hundred, making bat boxes and supporting local bats is a great way to boost biodiversity! Not only will they eat mosquitoes and other pest species, but you may also be able to use the guano (bat droppings) as fertilizer! Do be careful if you choose to do that though--I’ve never had the opportunity to, so do some research into how strong it is and use it accordingly.

Provide Passageway Points

If you want your area to be more accessible for creatures that can’t fly or climb fences, allowing or creating access points can be an excellent way to give them a way in and out. Holes in the bottom of walls or fences can be sheltered with plants to allow animals through. 

In a somewhat similar manner, if you’re adding a water fixture, it’s important to provide animals a way to get into and out of the pond--no way in, and they can’t use the water. No way out, and they may drown. Creating a naturalistic ramp out of wood beams or sticks, or stepped platforms out of bricks, stones, or logs can do the trick. 

Get or Keep Logs and Brush Piles

I’ve already mentioned logs a good handful of times so far in this post. To be used as access ramps, or as nesting areas for solitary bees. But they have value as much more than that! Logs on the ground provide shelter for all kinds of animals, especially depending on size--anything from mice, reptiles, and amphibians to things like turkey vultures and bears will use fallen logs as shelter. Inside of a decaying log, there’s a lot of humidity, so amphibians are big fans of them--meanwhile, the upper sides of them can be used as sunning platforms by things like lizards. Other animals can also use the insides of logs as nest sites and hiding places from predators too big to fit inside. Fungi, spiders, beetles, termites, ants, grubs, worms, snails, slugs, and likely much more can be found inside rotting logs, using the rotting wood as food sources or nesting places. They can then provide food for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and birds. They can also be regarded as a landmark or territory marker as wildlife get more familiar with your space.

So how do you get logs for cheap? Try Chip Drop! I talk about them more in a future post, but you can mark saying that you’d like logs in your drop, so they’ll give you any they have! In fact, you may even get a drop faster if you're willing to accept some logs. You may also be able to approach arborists you see working in your area and ask for logs. There may also be local online listings for people selling logs for cheap, or just trying to get rid of them. If there’s land development going on near you, you may be able to snag logs from trees they cut down to make space. Do keep in mind, you don’t need to have huge gigantic logs laying around your property to make an impact--even small logs can help a lot.

If possible, creating and leaving brush piles on the edge of your property can be a great boost to biodiversity--even if you may not see the wildlife using it. They’ll provide shelter from weather and predators, and lower portions are cool and shady for creatures to avoid the hot sun. The upper layers can be used as perch sites and nest sites for song birds, while lower layers are resting sites for amphibians and reptiles, and escape sites for many mammals. As the material decays, they also attract insects, and as such they’ll attract insect-eating animals too. As more small animals find refuse in your brush pile, their predators will be attracted to them as well. Owls, hawks, foxes, and coyotes are known to visit brush piles to hunt. Making a brush pile can be as simple as piling branches and leaves into a mound, as big or as small as you want. You can even use tree stumps or old fence posts near the base, and keep stacking on plant trimmings and fallen branches. Do note that you don’t want to do this near anything like a fire pit.

Don't forget, with all of these, your mileage may vary for any variation of reasons, so don't worry if you can't take all of even any of these actions! Even just talking about them with other people may inspire someone else to put out a bat box, or leave a few logs out for wildlife!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to get seeds and plants as cheaply as possible. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

[beautifulsenpai]

I have a request if you don’t mind doing it!

Lovestruck Endeavor x Recovery Girl’s Grandson

Endeavor is deeply in love with Recovery Girl’s grandson that works with her in U.A, a quirk that is related to her, and has…some man tits. Endeavor would give the male reader presents like red roses with heart balloons attached to them, expensive jewelry and would bring male reader their favorite food every time he visits male reader in the nurse’s office to show his love for him. Male reader doesn’t feel the same way for some reasons, the age gap is a reason, Endeavor is 45 and male reader is 20 but male reader doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, so he has to go along with it.

You could add some parts as well, maybe non-con?

✧˚ ༘ ⋆HIS NURSE | LOVESTRUCK ENJI TODOROKI

endeavor has a pretty big crush on recovery girl’s cute young grandson.

tw/cw. male reader, age gap, dubious consent kissing and groping, reader is 20 in this fic, enji being a creep

senpai’s note. wanna request a fic, or headcanon? look at my requesting rules before requesting darling. sorry for taking a long break. rules/requesting, masterlists

(name) sighed as he plopped down onto the recovery girl’s office chair that he had taken over for the time being. recovery girl was taking a long-needed break, and (name) took the position to fill for her, since both of them have the same quirk. the job was going fine, even sometimes fun.

taking care of injured or sick students was a highlight of his day, it felt nice to see the kids get better, and it’s funny how flustered they can get when (name) has to give them a kiss to treat their wounds. it was truly nice until he met endeavor, the current number-one pro hero.

(name) had bumped into endeavor in a hallway in U.A. endeavor was truly memorized from his presence, from how (name’s) pouty lips were pink and plumped that looked so kissable to his nurse uniform that hugged his waist nicely, showing off his curves. neither of them didn’t say anything, (name) felt too awkward while endeavor was busy admiring his beauty.

after that encounter, endeavor couldn’t keep his eyes off (name) and wouldn’t leave him alone. every opportunity that endeavor had, he would visit (name) in the nurse’s office. he would bring him lunch, yummy desserts, or even luxury gifts. this surprised (name), especially when did endeavor to find out that he had a sweet tooth. endeavor even allowed him to address him by his first name.

later on, (name) figured out that the scary man had a crush on him, endeavor never told him that so he put the pieces together and the result is endeavor having a crush on him. (name) felt flattered, but he didn’t feel like it wouldn’t work. first of all, he thought that endeavor was a married man. second of all, (name) was still a young adult while endeavor was in his late middle age. lastly, he just felt uneasy around the man.

but, the kind-hearted man he was, he continued to let endeavor to do as he pleased, even if he had to suffer. back to the present, (name) rocked the chair side to side with a frown plastered on his face. the other pro heroes/teachers invited the nurse to have lunch with them since they’ve gotten along great for the past week.

that was a nice gesture, but he sadly declined. he didn’t want to see or interact with endeavor. endeavor would’ve most likely joined his comrades since he thought (name) would be there. he kept coming up with excuses for why he couldn’t join his new friends, and it was getting tiring. some were true, and some were lies.

(name) sighed once again as he looked towards his desk, eyeing the bouquet of roses lying there that endeavor purchased for him when (name) arrived in the morning. he recalled how endeavor told him that “the roses are as gorgeous as him”. the flattery and the gift did make his cheeks go red. (name) hummed, he should remind himself later to get a flower pot with water for the roses.

unexpectedly, there was a sudden knock on the door. (name) attention turned from the flowers to the door. was it a student? he continued to observe the door until he (name) finally responded, “come in”. he wouldn’t have spoken if he had known who was behind that door. the wooden door slid open slowly to reveal endeavor with a slight blush on his cheeks, while one of his hands was occupied with something.

he was wearing his hero attire, but the beard and mustache that were made of fire were missing, showing off his massive scar on his face. (name’s) eyes slightly widen as well as his mouth. he quickly stood up, accidentally knocking pens and pencils off the desk from the chair colliding with the desk.

“e-endeavor! hello! g-good to see you again! i thought you joined with the others for lunch!-”, (name) nervous stammering was interrupted. “i’ve told you to call me enji”, enji stated in his low voice that sent shivers down (name’s) spine. “r-right..”, (name) muttered while a bead of sweat rolled down his cheek.

“i had heard that you weren’t joining with the heroes.”, enji spoke as stepped inside the nursery. he stood in front of (name), his tall figure hovering over his petite frame. (name) nodded, “yes, i have too much..p-paperwork to get done!”, he answered as he pointed back to the stack of papers that were sat on top of his desk.

he glanced at the stack of paper, and (name) was indeed telling the truth. enji nodded, he understood. enji stared back at the nurse as he lifted a pink cloth that wrapped around a bento box to (name). (name) eyed the bento box with a brow raised. he was hesitant to grab it, but he took it regardless. “fuyumi made it just for you”, enji added as he looked away his cheeks flushed red.

(name) knew fuyumi, well not exactly. enji had talked about his kids to him and they sounded lovely. the only child (name) who had interacted with him was shoto. shoto only came to him when he was wounded, and he hardly got to know him. shoto was highly serious and clear-headed, but there was some sweetness about him, and that is what made (name) take a liking to him.

(name) smiled warmly at the bento box, he wondered if enji had talked about him to his kids. “could you please tell her that i highly appreciate it, i’m sure it tastes delicious!”, (name) giggled as he smiled brightly at enji. enji eyes slightly widened and his cheeks burned brighter as he felt his heart beating loudly. “hm..”, enji hummed.

after that, enji left the infirmary to let (name) continue his work, and eat the food in the bento in peace. he was grateful, as soon he took a bite of the food, he thought he would die of joy. the food tasted delightful. if he ever met fuyumi, he would ask for some recipes from her.

‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🎀 ⋅ ˚✮ 🧸

the sun has started to set, all the students went to their dorms while the heroes had their hero duties to attend to. (name) had already finished with his lunch, and it was delicious. (name) was busy typing away on the computer that was on the desk. papers, folders, pencils, and pens were scattered around the desk.

he was too invested in staring at the computer screen to realize the infirmary door slid open and someone walking in. footsteps were coming closer to him, but (name) didn’t notice, until two large hands grasped onto his shoulders. (name’s) typing had come to a halt, his eyes widened as he shuddered in his chair, and he felt his heart stop beating from the scare.

“relax (name), it’s me”, enji reassured him as he gently rubbed (name’s) shoulders to comfort him. (name) sighed in relief but he continued to be on edge. how enji was massaging his shoulders made him feel uneasy. he couldn’t just tell enji to stop his actions, that would just be impolite, after all, enji was just being affectionate.

“s-sorry, you startled me..”, (name) trembled as he tried not to focus on what enji was doing. his eyes looked somewhere else besides enji as sweat beads started to form. the awkward silence was finally broken. “i’ve bought you a gift”, enji stated with a hint of delight in his voice. (name) wasn’t surprised.

now and then, when they both bumped into each other or if endeavor visited the infirmary, he would have a gift in his grasp for (name). whether it be something thoughtful or something luxurious. (name) had told him many times that he didn’t want him to spend his hard-earned money on him, but enji was stubborn as ever and wouldn’t listen.

“you did wha-”, (name) didn’t even finish what he was going to say. the chair was turned around quickly by enji, making him release a shriek. (name) was faced with enji revealing a black medium-sized jewelry box that was topped off with a white ribbon. endeavor slowly opened the box, revealing a sparkling continuous oval diamond necklace.

(name’s) eyes widened, his mouth agape slightly as he stared at the gorgeous and expensive necklace. he couldn’t accept the lavish gift, but endeavor wouldn’t let that happen, (name) couldn’t refuse if he wanted to. enji saw how (name) was memorized by the luxuriant gift he happily bought for him, and he smirked with pride.

“here, let me assist you with placing it around your neck”, endeavor requested with a small smile present on his face. (name) hesitated, but agreed. “o-okay..”, (name) muttered as he slowly rose from the chair, and turned around for endeavor to have easier access to his neck. endeavor didn’t waste this opportunity to look at (name’s) backside.

he looked at his neck he desperately wanted to mark to his waist that he could easily snatch, and then to his plump ass that he extremely wanted to place his hands onto, he bet that it felt soft and squishy. endeavor pushed those thoughts away to focus on his task, putting on this gorgeous necklace around the most beautiful man he ever laid his eyes on.

endeavor carefully removed the necklace from the box, as he safely grasped it. he gently placed the necklace around (name’s) neck as he made sure not to accidentally harm (name) and then fastened the clasp securely. as the necklace was finally around the male’s necklace, endeavor smirked in pride.

knowing that his wealth would “impress” (name), and his money would take care of him for the rest of his life swelled him up with honor. the thought of (name) being his adorable househusband, taking care of the house while enji would shower with him luxury would make his face flush, and even sometimes a boner.

(name) reached for the necklace, his hands roamed the necklace carefully, fingers intertwined with the diamonds attached to the necklace. maybe..he was wrong about enji. (name) didn’t mention this earlier but he thought that enji was a weird old man that had an obsession with him.

it’s just a silly crush that enji would forget about. (name) smiled fondly, “thank you enji, it’s lovely-”. oh, how (name) wished he took those words back. endeavor craned (name’s) neck upwards to try to meet his face level as his lips met (name’s). (name’s) eyes widen in horror, his body flinches as his felt endeavor’s big hand gripped onto his hip.

endeavor’s eyes were shut as he focused on the kiss, he felt like he was on cloud nine. this was like a fairy tale, this was finally happening. how badly (name) wanted to push the man away, and slap him..but the outcome of it. call him selfish, but he doesn’t want to see the large man heartbroken, he wouldn’t live with himself if he was the cause of the endeavor’s depressive behavior.

the fear of the one interfering with the endeavor’s hero work. (name) shook those upset thoughts away as he hesitantly kissed back, closing his eyes. endeavor noticed it made his cheeks turn pink. (name) had finally fallen in love with him as much as he does with (name), that’s what endeavor has thought. (name’s) heart was pounding, and his knees started to feel like jelly.

endeavor realized (name’s) state. he quickly pressed (name) to the wall, trapping him. a grunt left (name’s) lips but that was swallowed up by the kiss. (name) tried to hold himself up. his hands grabbing onto the walls to prevent himself from falling. (name) felt disgusted with himself, he shouldn’t let this man take advantage of him, but he’s allowing him.

endeavor’s hands were placed on (name’s) hips, rubbing them up, and down as their kiss was getting heated. the intimate touches were making (name) hot and bothered, and he was whimpering from the sensation. endeavor’s hand continued to roam (name’s) body until his hands landed on (name’s) ass.

(name) gasped, and endeavor quickly invaded his mouth with his tongue. (name) was taken back by the sudden intrusion, but didn’t complain or even push the man off. tears threatened to spill from (name’s) eyes, endeavor’s tongue was a bit big for his mouth to fit in so he would gag at times.

their tongues tangled together fighting for dominance, but it was endeavor who was doing that crap, he wanted to take full control as drool leaked from (name’s) mouth. (name) was panting in the open-mouthed kiss, this will soon blow over, right? this silly “little” crush?

[n0n-sen-se]

💌 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐊𝐍𝐘 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐀𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐫. . .

includes ;; genya, muichiro content ;; pure fluff. a/n ;; stresstember eh? the perfect time to indulge in some adorable escapism! (´｡• ◡ •｡`) ♡

☆☆☆ # genya shinazugawa !

genya regularly receives check-ups at the Butterfly Mansion, thus you tend to bump into him a ton!

this is where things start to take a turn. . . he stops getting so angry and quick to shut you down. . . and instead, he starts watching you train a little more, keeping idle tabs on your schedule, daydreaming of you when he should be focusing on training. . .

then it hits him:

he's got a crush ?!

to this boy love literally feels lethal.

he can't function. at all. he's unable to stand or talk to you for more than a few seconds without becoming flustered and wracked with nerves.

so loving you from afar is the simplest-easiest option.

he stares a ton, and tries hard not to get caught.

daydreams when he shouldn't- and at the worst times- you can only get punched in the face while training so many times before you start to wonder if having a crush is really worth it.

i'm pretty sure anyone could see the reason this quick-tempered boy suddenly turns shy when he's around you.

and he hates admitting it. (what is he supposed to do? he's never been in love before?)

there are times when he's 100% undoubtably sure that you're busy- or far, far away from the scene of the crime. . . he'll sneak into your room (after double checking that the coast is clear, again) he'll leave a few wildflowers next to your nightstand.

just the thought that he's showing romantic affection towards you has his heart palpitating. . . even if it is, technically indirect.

has him paranoid as hell, like somehow even after all his precautions, you'll just know it was him. if you suspect him, or bring it up, he'll vehemently deny everything.

(whenever he leaves flower btw, it'll be up to a week before he works up the courage to bring another bunch, and in between he tries to garner the courage to talk to you. . . without success)

he'd actually get pretty comfortable with this scenario, and eventually saves up enough to produce a small vase to hold all the flowers.

and it feels like the biggest step yet!

its a painfully simple pot, and he feels he could do better, but he's tied a woven red string around the neck to help. . . at least a little.

you know. . . in the future he could tie notes to it. the thought has his ears burning red hot, and he flees the scene just as quickly.

☆☆☆ # muichiro tokito !

honestly, it doesn't fully occur to him that he is a secret admirer at first.

he just one day happens to notice you because you caught his eye. nothing in particular, there was just something. . . bright about your presence.

your eyes? your smile? who could really say. all he knows is that your very interesting to look at when you're around.

even your voice catches his attention, like the sound of bells to his ears. its calming and also so alluring? how are you able to charm him like this?

the couple times you caught him staring he looked away quickly, then he starts wondering why he's afraid of being caught?

that's when the idea of an idea starts to form in his head.

a crush!

honestly, i think he'd smile to himself at the thought. its all very confusing and all very new and exciting!

he'd stare a ton and try to be subtle. . . but then fail at that too. (at this point he's just standing beside a tree rather than behind it?)

muichiro gifts you things that remind him of you: things that are eye-catching and interesting to him.

. . . something that holds his attention as much as you do. . .

mostly things he's found, like the shiniest shells or rocks, broken ornaments or porcelain he's found. the best would probably be a tiny pearl he. . . acquired.

instructs his crow to deliver them to you, which in turn means you get hit in the head with said object- you don't need a more obvious clue to know that his crow hates. your. guts. (don't worry she's just a little jealous)

at first, he completely forgets that he's sent anything to you at all.

until he see's you holding them and it all connects.

silently hopes you to make the connection too. and i don't think he'd mind being caught at all. (its kind of like a fun game he's playing, that subsequently causes the faintest blush to appear across the bridge of his nose)

thinks about you maybe a bit too much, and starts to get excited at the prospect of being in love or a relationship! what would it be like to hold your hand, or even have all of your attention for once? (now he's just smiling up at the clouds like an adorable idiot)

if he writes anything (a note?) its just doodles and drawings he's done that he then hands over to his crow to deliver.

actually very fond of leaving you snacks too. . . or straight up offering to share while (innocently) asking you what ❛all those things in your hands❜ are.

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (26/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: Burning things is a good way to get rid of stuff. But perhaps you and Charles have more in common than you like.

Warnings: this is quite angsty (mentions of cheating, Annika and Raphael), fire (of course), some fluff

Word Count: 4.2k

series masterlist

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A/N: this is a long one. but well, I felt like it. there are some Easter eggs in this chapter, tell me which one you found! feedback is appreciated (as always, please and thank you!)

Since your newly purchased items have not made it any further into the apartment than the hallway, Charles' bedroom looks pretty empty. There are three large boxes next to the door, which gradually fill up the longer you stay in the room. 

"What about this?" you ask Charles and show him a pink candlestick that was recently on the windowsill. 

Your roommate pulls his head out of the closet. "Throw it away."

"Okay." You try not to trip over anything as you walk over to the door and place the item in the left box, which already contains a vase and empty picture frames. As you straighten up again, a shirt flies past your face before landing in the right box.

"Sorry," Charles mumbles, without taking his eyes off the clothes in front of him. 

"It's all right." You glance at the chest of drawers against the wall. "What about this?" you ask, pointing to the few books arranged by size on the dark wood. 

Charles sighs. "Just assume you can throw away everything in this room." Another item lands in the box on the right. 

Unsure, you bite the inside of your cheek.

The idea was to get all the stuff Annika left in the bedroom out of the apartment and - if possible - burn it in Jori's fire bowl, in the hope that Charles can have closure. The box on the left is for things that can't easily be turned into ashes, such as picture frames, candlesticks or small, empty flower pots. The middle one is for things Annika couldn't pack in her haste, like jewelry, clothes, electronics. She would come to collect them at some point. 

The box on the right is for flammable things. The pictures from photo frames, books, tickets from events the couple attended together - and the clothes Charles throws in. And it looks like they're his. 

"Can I ask why you're throwing away your clothes?" you ask timidly as you sit down on the bed. You run your fingers over the soft fabric, which will also end up in the right-hand box later. 

Charles pushes some empty hangers aside before taking a jacket off the hanger. "Everything in this room is from when Annika and I were a couple." He shows you the jacket. "I was wearing this the first time we went to the racetrack together. Our first public appearance as a couple." He throws the jacket towards the door before grabbing the next item - a sweater. "I wore this one on the first Valentine's Day. We went out for dinner and then to the movies."

You purse your lips. "And you want to get rid of all these memories? Even if they are nice ones?"

The sweater lands on the jacket before Charles turns to you and looks at you for the first time since you walked into this room. "That woman cheated on me. Took advantage of my trust and broke it." His gaze is rock hard. "Whoever she was to me, she doesn't deserve to have her memories here. I want to put it all behind me. I want to be free."

You see a sad glint in his eyes, which you don't address. Instead, you get up from the bed and begin to sort out everything that's still lying around into the boxes, while Charles pulls one item of clothing after another out of the closet. 

Apart from a little rustling and your footsteps, the room is silent. You want to give Charles his space, give him the peace and quiet he needs to sort out his thoughts and really come to terms with the relationship. The fact that he has asked you to help him with this warms your heart. Because even though you've only known each other for a short time, he's the person you care most about. The person you would run to immediately if your life went down the drain. The person you can tell everything to without being judged. 

You seem to be that person for Charles too - the person he can trust without having to worry, the person who would help him bury a body - this feeling warms you from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. 

"I think that's it," Charles finally interrupts the silence and closes the now empty closet behind him while you remove the cover from one of the two pillows. His gaze wanders from your face to your hands. "You don't need to do that. We'll put the bedding in a big bag and then it can all go."

"Are you sure?" you ask uncertainly, but put the pillow back on the bed. 

"Very sure. I don't want to sleep in a bed she slept in or cover myself with a blanket she slept under. I just want to put it behind me."

"Okay." You walk around the bed and put in the clothes that missed the box. "Which car do we take? My Renault is still at the old place and your Ferrari won't fit the stuff." Besides, it would be too conspicuous and you don't want us to be seen in it together.

"There's an old car of my brother's downstairs in the garage. It's bigger than the Ferrari," he calls out from the hallway, where he's rummaging around in one of the cupboards before entering the bedroom again. In his hand he holds a huge blue plastic bag from a Swedish furniture store. "If that's not enough, I've got another one."

It's not enough. The bedding actually has to be divided into three different bags until the bed is empty except for the mattress. As Charles stands at the front door, one bag on each shoulder and a box - containing the last bag - in his hands, he peeks past it. "Can you open the door for me, please? I'd like to take the things downstairs."

As packed as he is, you have to stifle a grin. The Monegasque looks like a pack mule. "You can walk several times, you know that? Then you won't be straining your shoulders."

Your flatmate blows a strand of hair out of his forehead. "No way. I'd rather fall down the stairs before I have to walk twice."

As you open the door and press the elevator button for him, you just shake your head. "Then it's a good thing there's an elevator here. You'll still have to go a second time."

While Charles takes the things to the underground garage, you put the other two boxes by the front door before you go in search of another large bag. As Charles has already used all the available bags from the hall cupboard, you have no choice but to take a bin liner from the kitchen. As you hear him grab the second box, you poke your head out of the kitchen. 

"I'll bring the other box in a minute. You can wait downstairs by the car, okay?"

"All right," he replies and puts the box on his hip. "It shouldn't be that heavy. It's just the picture frames and stuff in there." He smiles at you. "See you in a bit then. But hurry up."

You roll your eyes, which makes him laugh before he disappears with the box in his hands. When you're alone, you walk from the kitchen into the living room, where the red roses that Charles must have forgotten are still on the white piano. You carefully put them in the bag, taking care not to tear the thin plastic, and then tie it up before dragging the bin bag into the hallway and putting it in the box.

The roses make the box much heavier than expected and when you arrive a few minutes later, panting, in the underground parking garage where Charles is already waiting to meet you, you are glad when he takes it off your hands. 

"What's in there?" he asks, pointing to the bag after placing the box in the trunk of the silver car.

You shrug your shoulders. "I found this. We can burn it if you like," you simply reply and drop into the passenger seat while Charles closes the trunk. 

The drive to Joris is shorter than expected and although it's not too late, the sky is already turning red, as if the sun is about to set. There's some song on the radio that you don't know and Charles isn't humming along to. As he finally steers the car through the familiar narrow alley and then pulls on the handbrake in a parking lot, the front door opens and Joris enters the courtyard. 

"Hello, you two," he greets you as you get out of the car. While he shakes Charles' hand, he presses a kiss to your cheek, first on the left and then on the right. "You said on the phone that you wanted to burn something?" He rubs his hands together excitedly. 

Your roommate nods and opens the trunk. "Not only that." He takes one of the boxes - the one with Annika's belongings - and hands it to his buddy. "I'd like to leave them here, if that's possible. I don't want to see Annika again and I'd be incredibly grateful if you could give her her things back."

"Of course," he replies and takes a look in the trunk. "What about this?" With a nod, he points to the box with the picture frames. 

"This," Charles begins the sentence before grabbing the box and walking over to one of the garbage containers that must belong to Jori's house. Without giving it much thought, he dumps the contents into the garbage can before rejoining you to take the three bags of bedding and throwing them into the container as well. "'Is garbage. We'd like to burn the rest that's left there."

"The firewood and fuel are already ready."

The boys carry the things upstairs and you follow them. When you arrive at Jori's apartment, you close the door behind you while Joris puts the box with Annika's things in a room and Charles walks towards the rooftop terrace. You open the door for him and he smiles gently at you as he walks past you towards the fire bowl, which already has some wood in it. 

A little later, Joris joins you, a small canister of gasoline in his hand. "You'll need this. Please don't burn yourselves. I've got a quick online meeting coming up and no time to drive you to the hospital." 

"Thanks, man. I appreciate that," says Charles as he takes the burning liquid from his buddy's hand. As Joris disappears, Charles pulls an outdoor couch sitting in a corner near the fire bowl. "In case it takes longer. Then we don't have to stand the whole time."

While Charles lights the wood, you take the garbage bag with the roses out of the box and put it next to the couch. "Would you like something to drink?"

Charles looks up from the small flame snaking around one of the logs. "There should be cans of Coke in the fridge. And there should be some sweets in the cupboard in the living room." When you look at him in astonishment, he grins. "Go ahead and help yourself. Joris has already eaten my entire fridge once when he was drunk."

"Okay." You leave him alone on the roof terrace and go searching. You actually find the cans in the fridge, two of which you take and put on the living room table so you can rummage through the cupboard for something sweet. You find fruit gums, some chocolate - which you probably shouldn't bring anywhere near a fire - and a bucket of popcorn, which you tuck under your arm. 

When you return to Charles with your hands full, he laughs. 

"What?" you ask, confused, as he takes the bucket from you. "You told me to help myself. And that's what I did."

"That's right." He motions for you to sit down on the sofa. As he sits down next to you, he nudges his knee against yours. He opens his can of Coke and you do the same. "Here's to the future." He holds his can out to you.

You clink glasses with him. "To the future."

After a few minutes, the fire burns brightly and warms you on this beautiful winter evening and Charles pokes around in the wood with a poker, which apparently belongs to the fire bowl, before grabbing the box and placing it between you on the couch. The fact that there's this physical distance between you both bothers you more than it should. 

"Two years for nothing," Charles says as he pulls out the first picture. It shows him and Annika lying on the beach and smiling at the camera. He throws it into the fire. "For nothing, for absolutely nothing."

"Don't say that." You watch as the flames engulf the photo. "You learn from relationships. No matter how long they last."

He throws a piece of paper into the bowl. It looks like a concert ticket. "And what have I learned? How to be cheated on without realizing it? I definitely didn't need to learn that." His tone is cold.

You suppress the urge to roll your eyes. When you take your eyes off the fire and look at him, his features are soft. He looks hurt. You purse your lips. "How did you find out?"

"I caught them." As you stare at him open-mouthed, he shrugs. " I was actually planning on flying from race to race, but my gut told me to fly back home." He has to swallow. "When I walked through the front door, there were already shoes there that weren't mine. And when I walked towards the bedroom, I heard them."

You raise an eyebrow. "They were doing it in your bed?" No wonder he doesn't want to keep the bedding or the bed. 

He nods weakly and throws one of his shirts into the fire. "I knew exactly what was behind the door and yet it broke my heart when I actually saw it. It wasn't much, but enough to know that it could never have been that 'it's not what it looks like' thing."

You hand him two plane tickets, which he throws away without looking at them. "And then?"

"She wanted to talk to me, begged me to stay with her and said how sorry she was. But I didn't want to hear any of it. I just turned around and left. I couldn't look her in the eye."

"I can understand that," you answer him quietly. 

"I think if I had really loved her the way you do in relationships, I would have thrown her out of the apartment straight away. But when I left and created distance between us, I racked my brains as to why she did that. And it was all over the internet that a lot of people do it because they feel neglected by their partner and are looking for closeness with someone else."

"And that's why you felt so bad that you allowed her to continue living there?" He nods. Another couple of photos land in the flames and catch fire. "Did you know the man?"

He shakes his head in response. He fixates on a burning log as if he doesn't want to look at you. When he does, his gaze is full of the kind of pain and hatred you've only ever seen on his face once before. As you remember the situation, your heart breaks. For both of you. 

When you answer him, your voice is no louder than your breath. "It was Raphael."

Your stomach clenches so tightly that you feel like throwing up. That's how Charles knew where Raphael worked. Something you've forgotten until now. Something is pounding behind your eyes and it's only when a tear runs down your cheek that you realize you're crying. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Charles' voice is soft and through the veil of tears you see his hand twitch, as if he's struggling to take you in his arms and comfort you. But there's this stupid box between you. And you've never felt so lonely. 

"Y/N..."

"Don't," you say quietly and without thinking about it, you reach into the box between you, grab everything you can with one hand and throw it into the fire in front of you. You watch as Annika's face burns. You throw a second handful into the fire bowl. This time it's his jacket. "That bastard."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'd rather kill them both."

A faint smile spreads across Charles' face. "I'm afraid that's not possible. Although I've thought about it before. But I'm afraid that I won't be able to drive my super-fast car if I'm behind bars."

"What if I take over for both of us?" 

"I think the prison clothes would look good on you, but the visiting hours are definitely a pain in the ass and I couldn't stand not seeing you every day," he says gently and reaches for the now empty box, which he now places on the floor next to the couch. Then he pulls you into his arms. And from now on, it's not the fire in front of you that warms you. 

You stare into the fire for a while, feeling Charles' arm around your waist and his cheek on the top of your head. "Are you going to tell me what's in that garbage bag?" 

"Oh." You straighten up, dumbfounded, and lean over the backrest to pick up the bin bag. As you turn back to Charles, his gaze quickly flickers back to your face. "This morning - after your mother visited - we were sitting together in the living room and you couldn't stop staring at the piano. But it wasn't the piano, was it?"

He shakes his head and as you untie the knot of the bag, he takes a peek inside. "I'd totally forgotten about that just now." 

"That's what I thought. That's why I brought them." You pull out the letters of roses and place them next to you on the couch before handing him the first one. While he throws the first rose into the fire, you open the bucket of popcorn and snuggle up to his side again. 

"Annika gave it to me for our second anniversary," he explains, before opening his mouth and looking at you expectantly. As you pop a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth, he grins at you. You ignore the fact that your fingers are tingling where they touched his lips: "I don't even like roses. I think they're too hackneyed and the most unimaginative thing you can give someone to show that you love them."

"So a gift without really making an effort," you continue his thought. "And what are your favorite flowers?"

When he looks at you, his gaze is warm and there's a sparkle in his eyes that you can't quite put your finger on. "Peonies."

You feel the warmth shoot into your cheeks and turn your gaze away from him. He throws more roses into the fire and you continue to pop popcorn into both of your mouths as the flowers burst into flames in front of you. You hope that this action is as cleansing for him as it is being said all over the internet. You hand him the second letter, which he can burn in peace, before standing up and taking his empty Coke can. "I guess you need a new one?" 

His grin is wide. "Yes, please."

You disappear into the kitchen, where you leave the can on the counter and take a new one from the fridge. As you go back to Charles, you bump into Joris, who is just coming out of one of the rooms. "How did your online meeting go?"

"Pretty good," he replies and walks past you into the kitchen to take another can from the fridge. You stop in the doorway. "It was just about familiarizing myself with my new job, which I start in the New Year."

"That's right," you reply and raise your eyebrows. "You said you'd been offered a job. Are you already looking forward to it?"

"Very much. I can hardly wait," he replies as you walk towards the living room. You can watch Charles through the window as he continues to set the roses on fire. "Was that your idea? With the whole burning thing?"

You nod. "Yes. I burned my ex-boyfriend's things too when I found out he'd cheated on me. Only I didn't have a big fire bowl."

"Then where did you do it?"

You shrug your shoulders. "In the kitchen sink."

Joris has to laugh before he nudges yours with his shoulder. "Your friendship is good for him. He's never opened up to anyone as quickly as he did with you. I'm starting to think I need to worry that you're taking my place as his best friend."

"Haha. You two have known each other for ages. I don't think I could ever get in the way, even if I wanted to." You have to smile. "But Charles is definitely my best friend. There's nothing I wouldn't want to share with him."

"It's nice to hear that you're good for each other." He smiles at you. 

"Do you want to come outside?" you ask him as you walk to the patio door. 

Joris waves you off. "You go and do your cleansing thing. But please don't burn down the sofa. That's sacred to me."

You stick your tongue out at him and grab the blanket hanging over the back of a chair before returning to Charles, who has now reached the last letter. You hand him the Coke and spread the blanket over your knees. The sun has set, but the fire in front of you is so bright that you have no problem seeing his beautiful face. 

"Do you think she would have cheated on me too if I had been a better boyfriend?" Charles asks quietly at one point, without looking at you. 

"I don't know."

He thinks for a moment. "She said that everything in my life revolves around Formula One. That I don't notice what's going on around me. And that I was never there for her like a boyfriend should be. And that she had to share me with the whole world." As he turns to you, you see tears glistening in his eyes. "You said you were sure there was someone out there for me who wouldn't find my job too hectic. Who will support me no matter how hard it gets."

You turn to him and put your hand to his cheek to make him look at you. A tear rolls down his cheek and you wipe it away with your thumb. "I have. And I mean it."

He licks his tongue over his lips. "You also said that there's a person out there for everyone. A soulmate with whom you can share everything. With whom you don't have to pretend and can be who you really are." You feel his arms wrap around your middle and before you know it, you're sitting in his lap. 

You wrap your arms around his neck so you can hold him tight. 

"So you think there's someone else out there for me? That I haven't missed my chance at love?" You feel his warm breath on your face and how much you want to kiss away the tears that escape his eyes. Take away all his pain. Show him how much he means to you. 

But now is not the right time. Someday. Maybe.

"I promise you that." 

You watch him throw the last rose into the fire. In an instant, the red blossoms catch fire, the stem begins to glow and before you know it, this last piece from a time Charles wants to forget at all costs disappears and turns to ash. 

His grip on you tightens. A sign for you to turn towards him. When you look at him, his cheeks are wet, but he doesn't look sad. The smile on his face is honest and genuine and so loving that you can't help but return it. 

He would love to put his hands on your face and kiss you until you can't breathe. To feel your lips on his, your skin on his and tell you how important you are to him. How much he craves you and that everything he feels for you goes beyond the limits of friendship. But the only thing he does is grab your hand with his and squeeze it twice. Maybe you'll understand. Understand why he always squeezes twice. 

The right time will come. Someday. Maybe. 

When you look at him, with tears in your eyes and a warmth that makes his heart stumble, he has to swallow. He's never been as grateful to anyone as he is to you. 

"I'm free."

[leonw4nter]

Lovers Rock

ChildhoodBFF!RE2R!Leon x F!Reader

Leon looks down at his analogue watch, sleek black leather buckled around his left wrist; the long hand points to a minute line a few digits away from the time he expects you to be ready, making him early. By the warm illumination of the porch lights, he catches his faint reflection in the watch’s slightly blurry glass. He’s anxious for the leap of faith he’s about to pull as soon as enough stars puncture the rich black sky, repeatedly running his hands through his once-flattened hair; he knows what to say: he’s dreamt and practiced for this moment but there’s never enough preparation to protect his heart from everything it could feel in that instant.

“Breathe, Leon.” He shuts his eyes, giving himself a moment to silence the ruckus in his mind. “You got this, you got this, you got this.” His hands nearly crush the bouquet of pink lilies in his hand, pale citrus wrapping paper creasing beneath clammy palms. Just as he raises his hand to give gentle knocks to your front door, it opens to the star-blessed sight of you in a brand-new dress and a dolled-up face, powders and shimmering tints framing your face in a charm beyond earthly bounds. You smell like strawberries and the scent he’d love to have on his pillows forevermore.

“What do you think?” You timidly ask him, accompanied with a little spin. Your skirt billows as if a magical breeze blew right through. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, absolutely stunned by your seraphic beauty.

“You look beautiful,” he exhales. “More than perfect.”

You look down at your dress as you smooth your skirt, beaming with pride. “Thank you, you look handsome too. Very charming, blue is definitely your color.”

He rubs the back of his neck, gaze averted to the wilted potted plant right by the ‘welcome’ rug. “Thanks, my… uh… other friends helped me… um… pick this out.”

His ears are blessed by the giggle of an angel and he internally grapples with himself to keep his composure. “You’re blushing so hard. You alright? I can go back to get you–”

“N-No! It’s… it’s fine, you’re just… you look exceptionally divine tonight.”

Nearly overtaken by his nerves, he damn near forgets to give you your flowers so he extends it over to you, hoping that the tremor of his grip isn’t obvious to you.

“I had the florist remove the stamen coz I know the pollen makes your eyes all itchy,” he adds. Long before he even gives you the almighty three-letter word, his eyes have spoken for him already as they look at you fondly.

“Thanks, Leon. It’s so beautiful,” you say in between pats to the petals. “You didn’t have to, seriously.”

“I just had to, you know. Pretty flowers for a pretty girl like you.”

You gently nudge him with your elbow, all smiley at his boyish antics, but he knows that you’re incredibly grateful for his kindness.

“We should head to the party,” he softly suggests. “There’s still time but it’ll be best if we go now so it won’t be as crowded.”

With an ‘okay’, you descend the porch steps and head to his car. He paces ahead of you a little faster, intending to open the door to your side for you.

“Ladies first,” he says with a boyish charisma.

“What a gentleman,” you retort once you’re all the way in. He walks around the vehicle, getting into his own side to start the car. Once you express that you’re all set in his passenger seat, he pulls away from the side of the road to take you both to a spring night’s party. Upon coming across a red light, he switches the radio to a station that’s known for playing love songs.

“Well if you want to make me cry,” you sing along. “That won’t be so hard to do.”

“And if you should go say goodbye, I’ll still go on loving you,” he joins you in singing.

“Each night I ask the stars up above,” he continues passionately. By this time, you’ve stopped singing to listen to him better. “Why must I be a teenager in love?”

“You’re 21, buddy. You’re past your teenage years, time to move on pal,” you jest which earns you a feigned look of irritation from the blond behind the wheel.

“Says the one who’s 3 months older than I am,” he sasses back. You must admit, he got you with that one.

The rest of the ride is full of mushy romantic songs and sing-alongs with the occasional childish teasing. How beautiful this kind of future is with her, Leon affectionately thinks to himself.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Just as Leon said, the university’s gymnasium wasn’t as full yet though there were some students seated on tables already. The middle space is void of anything to reserve space for the students who’ll crowd in for a dance later, the thought of which excites Leon– a tender moment between the two of you as he holds his palm open for your hand, whisking you to the dance floor with a feather-light touch as a slow song plays. He bites the inside of his cheek, restraining his smile for a considerable amount of time tonight. He looks back and doesn’t see you by his side, wondering where you’ve gone before he spots you laughing with some friends in the corner. Leon must’ve stared a little too intently because one of the girls gestures towards him, prompting you to turn around then ask him to come over.

“This is Leon, the childhood friend I’ve been talking to you guys about,” she proudly beams with her hand resting on his high shoulder. “He’s from the police academy a few minutes away but since outsiders are allowed, I decided to take him with me as a date.”

Your friends smile and eye him from head to toe, inspecting him thoroughly.

“I’m Leon. Leon Kennedy,” he says as he offers a handshake.

“He’s so nice,” one of them gushes. “Where do you get one of these?” She jokes.

“Just got lucky,” you shrug. “He’s been with me since I was 7– saw me go through every single phase and childhood crush.”

They ask a few more questions and Leon responds, multitasking on giving sensible answers and also hyperfocusing on the feel of your hand perched on his shoulder.

Conversations blend with the melodious jazz playing and the clinking of glasses. As the night unfolds, couples take to the polished gymnasium floors and share a dance to slow dance hits from the 1950s; hushed laughter mingles with the singing voices of Frank Sinatra, Dion and the Belmonts, and Doris Day, creating a surely romantic atmosphere and an undercurrent of charged tension between timid couples. Your skirt swishes here and there, adding a touch of elegance to the groovy movements of your body as you immerse yourself in the romantic sound of the era the songs are from; you’re not the best at dancing, considering yourself stiff at times, but Leon’s admiring gaze settles on you as a soft smile creases his eyes into joyful crescents; awe and longing occupies his chest, heart squeezing with each excited giggle that comes out of you. The room feels like it’s shrunk to fit just the two of you, to overwhelm him in your unfiltered divinity. 

You and Leon skip a few dances after moving about for several minutes without a break, out of breath from the dancing though you can’t resist but still groove to the song though your movements are more reserved. You and him sit side by side, shoulders touching as you watch other students sway along to the beat, hearts in Leon’s eyes as he fondly gazes on at you.

“How’s the night so far?” You wickedly grin.

“I guess I was wrong about even considering staying in,” he admits. “I’ve had a wonderful time, nothing short of dreamy. You?”

“Better than I could’ve imagined, honestly– maybe one of the best nights I’ve ever had in a while. Tonight feels like a core memory and dare I say it– it might be because I finally got to spend time with my favorite always-fully-booked person. It’s just been so beautiful and vibrant.”

A comfortable silence settles over the both of you, no words spoken for the moment that you both watch on at the disco scene and finally, the DJ finally announces that it’s time for slow dances and plays the first song: “Coney Island Baby”. You’re oblivious to the sudden spike in his nerves, his heart in his throat once more but he swallows it down and asks for your hand. How can you say no to his big blue puppy eyes, the eagerness shimmering like little stars despite the dim lights? Taking his hand, you say yes and give him a curtsy of your own. Skirts made of tulle, satin, and lace sway and billow with each swish in time with the music; the soft shuffling of shoes accompanies with the velvety voices of singers; palms slightly precipitate where it meets with another’s, unveiling sparky jitters; shy smiles and stolen glances reveal a previously secret admiration. Leon’s hand rests on your lower back, maintaining a respectful weight against your body, fingers gently splayed while yours rests on his upper arm for support. Your hand squeezes against his in twirls and each time, fireworks are set off in your best friend’s heart; your gazes flicker between the floor and the balloons overhead, focusing anywhere but each other; his heart is pressed against yours, like two perfect pieces in a puzzle– as if his heart wishes for yours to hear the song of its affection. Somewhere in the midst of a dance to “I Only Have Eyes for You”, Leon’s stare is more fervent this time. You were just about to ask him if anything was wrong, the smile slowly disappearing from your face, but he unintentionally interrupts you.

“I have something to tell you outside,” he says in a serious tone. “The music is too loud here.”

You nod, letting him guide you by the hand as you exit the dance hall and out into open space. The night is breezy, campus grounds all hush at 9 PM save for the faint romantic ballads that play from inside the gym.

“What is it, Leon?” you ask. He begins to worry you, his gaze more avoidant– a complete 360 from moments ago; his hands are in his pocket now, a nervous habit of his. The chilly gale lifts a few thin strands of his buttermilk hair, a light above him giving his locks a halo-like effect.

“Do you know about it?” Leon asks. You tilt your head, not quite grasping where he’s getting at.

“Know about what exactly?”

His attention snaps away from the small rock he’s rolling around with his shoe, biting his lip to the point of a more vibrant flush.

“You’ve always made my heart hurt,” he admits. “I’ve never known anyone like you– ever. And– and you know better than anyone else that I’ve grown to have this part of myself that’s all for you and now I’ve fallen helplessly in love with you in a way that I can’t fix with a few comforting words.”

You’re stunned silent, knees locking in in a way that’s unnatural to you and to the point of a slight discomfort. “I… I don’t understand you, Leon.” You mumble.

“I don’t… know when it happened or-or how… I didn’t even know what was happening to me until every little thing you do began to fill up my mind. I’ve loved you in silence for so long but it hurts sometimes because… I know I’m not the only one who sees your true beauty.”

You take a step back, creating a gap between your best friend and yourself. Leon takes a cautious step forward towards you but you stop him, your raised voice startling the vulnerable man.

“Stop!” you exclaim. “I just… Leon… I don’t know– I didn’t know. How long was this?”

“Since we were 16, when you visited me while I had fever.”

A bitter chuckle escapes your dry throat, prompting tears to fill your waterline. His heart shatters at this sight, it was never meant to be like this.

“I have a boyfriend, Leon. And I was planning for him to meet you sometime next week,” you say with a shaky voice as you dab at your eyes.

“Please don’t cry–”

“Don’t tell me that! Not when… you’re about to lose me. I thought–” you cut yourself off, a choked sob getting ahold of your ability to speak for a moment. “I thought that we would always stay as we were– as best friends– but now that you said all that… I feel like I’m going to lose you.”

Leon steps closer now and you let him, the blond you’ve known since childhood days giving you a grounding hug; it’s supposed to be something familiar but now it feels somehow unfamiliar, something akin to a gradual unwelcome change.

“I love you too, Leon, but not in the way you want me to. And I don’t know how to fix that for us.”

He pulls away, holding your shoulders, as he begs. Tears have begun to stream down his cheeks, leaving glossy trails.

“Please,” his voice strains as it thickens with emotions. “I… I don’t want you to fix anything, okay? I just wanted you to know and I’m sincerely sorry–”

“Did you always stick close to me because you were secretly trying to convince me to see you the way you do with me?” you ask in a whisper-like manner.

His heart shatters are at your reddened eyes and nose, most especially at seeing your lower lip wobble and knowing that he’s behind your distress. He thinks about hugging you, wrapping you in his arms to offer some sort of temporary reprieve from the pain, but after seeing you inch away from him with doubt as clear as day in your eyes he knows you won’t let him.

“No.” He says with conviction. “I kept myself close to you because I couldn’t bear to be without you, even if it meant keeping what I felt under lock-and-key. I wasn’t some scheming fool this whole time, you’ve gotta believe me, please. I couldn’t and still can’t imagine life without you, even if it means settling for scraps of your attention.”

“I hoped–” his voice breaks as the lump in his throat feels suffocating, “God, I hoped so much but I never meant for it to turn out like this. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

You wipe at your eyes, disregarding the fact that the shimmery dust on your lids are probably smeared and washed out by tears. You can’t look him in the eye, thank god for the salty tears that reduced your vision to blurred blobs of colors and shapes; you’re not exactly in the mood to see those sad puppy eyes of his looking down at you as he does his best to cry as quietly as possible.

“I just want to go home,” you stated in a nasal tone. “I’m tired, I’m done.”

“I’ll drive you back,” the man in front of you quickly offers, voice just as nasal as yours.

You don’t say anything, turning your back to him and walking away to head to the direction of the parking lot, not in the mood to be around his presence and start this conversation all over again.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

The atmosphere is dense and filled with dread, you can see that Leon’s knuckles have gone pale from how hard he was gripping the wheel. Unlike the ride hours ago, this one is void of music and exchanged jokes; the air is weighed down by tears that are yet to be shed. Leon’s usual ease is nowhere to be found and you sit stiffly in the passenger side, the growing distance feeling even wider despite the cramped confines of the car. His eyes remain fixed on the stretch of road ahead though his mind replays your words like a broken record, the occasional sniffle coming from you twisting his heart further though he knows he’s lost the right to reach for you. His throat burns with unsaid apologies yet even if he said them, there’s no taking back the vulnerability he gifted to you. You notice him chewing on his lower lip, a subconscious indicator of his that silently tells you that there’s more that he wishes to say, but you pretend to not have seen it, lost in your own world of sorrow and grief for a dear friendship; you refused to even turn your head towards his direction in the slightest, the only way to escape the cage-like feeling.

He stops the car in front of your house and gets up to open the door for you as a cordial act but you beat him to it, going first; you always did but there’s no laughs and playful taunts this time. He steps out of the car and watches you pass him by, seeing your shoulders tremor and wobble.

“Good night and sleep well,” he says to you. The soul tie has been severed, this chapter in your lives concluded, when you leave his words hanging in the air and don’t look back.

NOTE - "Nyx why is reader being overreactive by crying???" man I don't know either but I remember that when someone confessed to me back in middle school I was terrified for my life because I thought it meant being signed up for child marriage and to someone annoying as hell because the kid that liked me was irritating as FUCK!!! so there's that i suppose... also that kid is now gay and we're on good terms now dw :D i was also listening to music that my PE teachers frequently played (Shake Your Groove Thing by Peaches and Herb + 5,6,7,8 by Steps) and yk what... maybe they were onto something because why was it lowkey slapping??? like why was it groovy??? i missed my middle school teachers too when i forgot the other songs they used to play, i have got to be starting my period tomorrow or something -_- not sure if I already said this but I'm receiving my Leon tsum soon which means that I have two of em babies now: Chris and him AAAAAAAAAAA :0 If none of this makes sense, it's because I started on it at 11 PM and I finished at 1:19 AM (eepy) Anyway, that's it for my closing post in 2024 and as usual: thank you, thank you, thank you so much for reading and supporting my fics!!!!!!!!!!! I <33333333333 UUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!! HAVE A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR EVERYONE ^V^

The dividers (the strawberries) are made by @kodaswrld , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).

[dannyboy-writes]

Running away

After fleeing the Fire Nation's land you found yourself in a small fishing village. Filled with flowers in spring and sunlight in the summer, with piles of leaves in autumn and a tad of snow in winter. Just a hint of whiteness. 

The last thing you would've expected from your travels was to end up here, having somewhat of a normal life, filled with joy. The only thing you would've changed was your last conversation with a certain someone. 

“You used to have long hair,” a familiar but distant voice said, as you turned around. 

"You used to be shorter," you said, face as serious as you could.

With a still straight face she said, "I could have you executed for that."

"Only if you can catch me," you finally broke a smile.

"True," Azula said, smiling as well. 

"What brings you to this lovely and remote area of the world," you asked, pulling some things off the table.

"I was searching for someone. They owe me a goodbye," she said playfully.

You put some water in a kettle, "I believe they said goodbye already."

"Did they?"

"I gave you a letter, it's more than I did to most," you defended. 

"You didn't give me a letter." 

"Well, I hid it in your room. You found it, you can't lie to me Azula," you laughed. 

She tried to maintain a serious face but dropped it soon as well, "I did find it." 

"I couldn't exactly leave it laying around, not with everything that was happening."

"I understand," she nodded. "I just wish you had given it to me." 

"I thought of it, but it was late. I had to ninja my way for it, I'm very proud of that," you said.

"Because of the guards?" 

"Yeah, that and the fact that everyone had my face in a reward poster…" 

She clasped her hands together and nodded. 

"Why are you still standing, Zula?" You said bringing a kettle of tea to the table and sitting down. "Get comfortable, do you want anything else?"

"No, it's fine," she said, shifting in her spot. 

"Is everything okay?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be," she asked in a paranoid tone.

"No reason," you said as she sat down. "Did you really come all this way just to get a goodbye?"

"Don't be silly, y/n. It's on the way in my travels," she lied. 

It had been too long since she last saw you, and the way your voice strained in your throat took her off balance. Perhaps this was how you'd always spoken, but she didn't think so. Maybe she had just grown too paranoid.

"Where are you going?" You asked. 

"Oh, let's not speak of that. How are you?" 

The question rocked you off your place, but you managed not to show it. 

"Well, I'm doing well. There's not much to do around here but fishing, so I do that, and sell that as well. I'm growing this tree in the back, it used to have a torn branch and it was falling off, but now it's looking good," you explained. "Sorry, you're probably bored by this." You said, knowing Azula wasn't one to be interested in the common occurrences of life.

"No, continue," she dismissed. And as you raised your eyebrow asked, "Please." 

"Well, there is also a small dragon-moose that comes around every now and then, searching for food. I tend to leave a pot of fresh water and some leftovers for him." You paused to sip on your tea, "Other than that it's all pretty calm. There's mostly old people here, so no one asks many questions. They usually tell stories to me, not the other way around, which is good." 

It was good, Azula thought. If you were still in hiding, even if you weren't in Fire Nation soil, it was good for people not to ask many questions. 

"How do you know it's the same dragon-moose?" She found herself asking, much to her own surprise.

You were taken a bit aback by the question but answered anyways. "Oh, he has a little white spot in between the eyes. Plus he always waits for me to sit down before he eats the food. I don't know why, really."

She smiled, again to her surprise. How simple your life was, and how content with it you sounded. All you did was fish, feed animals and listen to old people's stories, and yet you looked like the happiest person in the world. 

“It sounds wonderful,” she simply replied.

“Yeah… You sure you're fine?" You asked, concerned. It had been some time since you last saw her, but she didn't use to ask this many questions. 

“You have nothing to worry about, y/n. I promise," she nodded.

"Okay… Do you plan on staying?" 

"Would you like me to stay?" 

"I'm asking so I know how much food I should make, you don't have to stay."

"If you want me to stay I'll stay," she stated.

You blinked in surprise, not expecting that. "Uh, yeah, I would love that," you smiled. "That would be great." 

She nodded once again, this time with a smile plastered on her face. She thought about staying there, in your little house by the sea. 

Things would be so easy if she just had one more chance with you.

But she had Zuko and his friends on her heels, and it was better to leave you out of Fire Nation problems. One last dinner with you, that was all she needed.

When you woke up next morning with the house silent you knew she was gone, and when you walked into the kitchen and saw the note you hoped she was safe.

A little ‘thank you’ was all you had, and it was all you’d need.

[externalmemorycomic]

Image description: A black and white illustration, designed to look like a book cover. On a decorative ribbon, the title at the top reads “External Memory”. A scroll work border of leaves and flowers divides the illustration into three rounded panels. The largest panel is in the center and shows a caravan surrounded by greenery, puddles and potted plants. The two smaller panels beneath it show a cartoon cat and mouse respectively, facing each other. At the bottom is another decorative ribbon with the text “a diary comic by My Murphy”. After the cover follows an 8 page comic. The style is cartoonish and the colours are soft pastels. Page one: An orange cat waves and says “Hello! I’m My.” The cat holds up a white mouse and says “This is Mouse, my girlfriend.” Caption: My name is actually My, but Mouse is a nickname for comic and privacy purposes. Caption: When I started this project, me and Mouse lived on a little island off the Swedish coast. The panel shows a stylised, tiny island with a lighthouse, spruce and birch trees, leaning houses and a little dock with a row boat tied to it. The cat and mouse are standing on the cliffs and a swan floats on the water in the foreground. Page two: Caption: Now we’ve moved to Ireland where we live in a caravan in the middle of nowhere. A small caravan, surrounded by greenery, overgrown trees, rocks, puddles and potted plants. The caravan has two windows and the cat and the mouse are looking out of one window each. Caption: We lived on the island to be close to my family. A ribbon with writing on it separates and labels four characters: “mom”, an ermine, “dad”, a wolverine, “brother”, a marmot and “step mom”, a squirrel. The ribbon has been torn in between “mom” and “dad”. Caption: and we moved to Ireland to be close to Mouse’s family. Three characters are shown, each with their own ribbon label. “mother-in-law”, a deer, “sister-in-law”, a jack russell terrier and “brother-in-law”, a hedgehog. Page three: Caption: Me and the mouse are currently in our thirties. The cat lounges on an antique fainting couch and the mouse sleeps on a cushion on the floor. On the floor is an open bag of “let’s” crisps and a laptop. Caption: We’re both pretty decrepit in various ways, so for this comic I draw couches and beds as often as I draw people. Caption: Disability isn’t especially interesting to me, but if a fish made an autobiographical comic… A fish under water paints a four panel comic with a brush held in its mouth. The panels the fish has painted show bubbles, waves and splashing water. Caption: …it’d probably be partly about water, whether the fish cared about water or not. Page four: Caption: My memory has always been pretty crappy. If a friend asks me: “do you remember when...” The question is shown asked by a red robin Caption: I usually have to answer: “no, I don’t.” The panel shows the cat giving this answer while looking away and blushing. Caption: There are many things in my life I’d like to remember. Mom the ermine watches as the cat opens a Christmas gift in front of a Christmas tree. The cat is much smaller than usual, its tail is bushy with excitement and it holds up a big book, “Mort”, with a skull on the cover. Caption: This comic is my EXTERNAL MEMORY so I can capture some of those moments… The cat admires a butterfly hovering above its outstretched paw Caption: …great or small. Page five: Caption: I try to make one strip per day, give or take. Pages with dates written on them blow off of a daily wall calendar by a strong breeze. As they turn over, comic pages are revealed to be drawn on the back. One comic shows the mouse with long fangs, biting the face of the cat and then hissing behind a bat wing. One comic is a pastiche of Tim Buckley’s “Loss” comic and one features a portrait of Frasier Crane and the Seattle skyline. Caption: and on the days when nothing interesting happens A close up shows the cat’s paw drawing a comic panel. In this panel a smaller, rounder version of the cat runs happily in the sunshine carrying a backpack. Caption: I reach back and draw something from my past. Caption: If you read this comic and wonder: A coyote looks at the comic on its phone, strokes its chin suspiciously and asks “did that really happen?” Caption: the answer is always yes. Caption: If you read this comic and wonder: A monkey reads the comic in zine form and think “did they really say that?” Caption: the answer is usually yes. Page six: Caption: When a specific phrase is the point of the strip, it’s recorded verbatim. The mouse says “you’re marching to the beat of the potato drum.” Caption: is a direct quote. Caption: When the point is something else, I sometimes take small liberties to make the memory fit well inside four panels. The cat sits at its drawing table, holding a pair of scissors in one hand and a paper with two comic panels in the other. Caption: Usually that means I make myself or the mouse play the part of the straight man because it will improve a joke. The cat and the mouse, dressed as clowns, stand in a circus tent. The cat pulls the clown nose from the mouse’s face and holds up a pie, ready to strike. Caption: In reality, neither of us is much of a straight man, but all art demands some sacrifices. Caption: In every way that matters, this comic always tells the truth. The cat looks up at a large, glowing, winged sphinx statue version of itself. The statue and framing is a reference to the all knowing Southern Oracle from the film adaptation of “The Neverending Story”. Caption: I am doing this to aid my memory after all, so it wouldn’t be very helpful to make my life seem more funny, interesting or relatable than it really is. The cat draws a comic while watching paint dry on the wall. Caption: That would be a pretty cruel joke to play on my future, more confused self. The cat scratches its head at a drawing of themselves as the winner of a beauty contest, wearing a sash and crown, waving to the crowd and holding flowers. Caption: She’ll probably have enough to contend with… The cat looks suspiciously at its own reflection in the mirror, not recognising it. The drawing is a pastiche of a panel from the webcomic “Gunshow” by KC Green. Caption: Maybe some of my comics will be funny or interesting or relatable to you anyway. That would make me very happy. The cat smiles and presses its paws to its face in joy, seeing that a bear and a horse are reading the comic together and laughing. Cartoon hearts float over the cat. Caption: Some of the comics probably won’t do much for anybody but me, but that’s okay too. The cat presses a page of the comic to its chest, looking contented and protective. In the last panel, the cat and the mouse are floating on air with a blue sky and white clouds behind them. The cat is smiling and twirling around, holding a paint brush out like a wand. From the brush flows paint that swirls around the two figures and making shapes of green leaves and orange and yellow flowers. On two looping blue ribbons appear the last captions: This is a record of my silly little life. Good or bad, I’m glad I get to share it. End ID.

Here’s a little introduction to External Memory! It was fun to make a proper neat and full colour comic - it’s been a while ^^

(If you like this project, please reblog this post! You can also subscribe to my patreon where I post one comic every day ^^)

[charnelhouse]

bad people

Gif by @jdmorganz

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!ReaderWordcount: 3kWarnings: rough sex. age gap (tho undefined). violence. oral. blood. joel being a dick. drunk sex. Summary: When it happened, it happened in the dark.

Ten Years Post Outbreak

Boston was dirty. The summer rain had been relentless, liquefying the dirt to unforgiving mud. She’d had enough of rain. Her shirt stuck to her skin, constricting her limbs and soaking her feet. She was lightheaded. She’d had a spoonful of canned peaches earlier, and the sugar smudged her tongue. 

She blinked down at her feet, the sneakers threadbare and soaked. Her eyes flitted to the wood-brown boots beside them. They dwarfed her shoes in comparison.

The man next to her was one she knew. Joel Miller.

He was rough-looking with his weathered skin and dark hair threaded with a bit of silver. He was also handsome, seemingly carved from a shard of rock. Strong. Brutal. 

Hephaestus. 

If he were a God, she’d choose Hephaestus.

The things she did know about him were both second-hand and from afar. He was mean and ruthless. He beat the shit out of a rival smuggler and blinded another. 

Tonight was purely coincidental. The rain was too hard. The soldiers were out in droves due to a recent Firefly attack. Joel had stumbled upon her hideout: a narrow storage closet that smelled like bleach. He’d turned the tiny light on, and she’d snapped like a feral cat. He’d shut it off without apologizing.

Instead, he glanced down at her, frowning, and for a split second, she thought he was going to murder her for the shelter. Instead, he tugged a large plastic bottle of brown liquid from his pack and offered it. 

Whiskey–she guessed. A homegrown brew that might make her temporarily blind. The good stuff. 

Wordlessly, she took it. The terms were met. You can share this space with me. She would have said yes regardless.

Joel sat beside her, and after she swallowed enough to burn her lungs, he accepted the whiskey again.

***

When it happened, it happened in the dark. 

They barely spoke. Instead, they passed the bottle back and forth. Both of them were loose with it. The whiskey warmed her belly, making everything somewhat bearable. Her vision became edged with gauzy sweeps of color–finger painting in the dim light. The world was bathed in butter, gold, and temporary numbness.

Thirty minutes had passed when she finally spoke. “Great weather we’re having.”

He paused, the plastic crinkling in his hand, the rim scraping against his chin. He smiled briefly.

“Used to like the rain,” he replied. “But now?” He shook his head, and she noticed the raw cut of his jaw, his patchy beard. He was someone who had worked too long in the sun, and yet she found him unbearably attractive. Rugged. A hot coal pulsing fire, and she was desperate to get warm. 

She thought of fungus. She thought of it growing in this narrow room with its perfect conditions. Humidity. Wooly heat. A petri dish. She could become it–become the sick and she could rot into the wall with Joel sitting silently beside her. She’d swell with a patchwork of pretty colors: blister-red, jaundice-green, bile-orange. 

Jesus. She was maudlin. She was drunk. 

The rain fell harder, pelting the walls of the building. She knew things were hanging on by spit and glue. She knew everything could–would–collapse eventually. No more clean-cut grass. No more distinct roads. No more potted flowers. 

Joel turned his head, his dark gaze landing on her face. The irises shimmered like a sun-drenched black top. He had somber eyes. Expressive for once. Doe-like. He stared at her as if it was the first time he actually was actually seeing her. 

She wondered if he went through life avoiding the periphery. There was only the direct line in front of him. When he came into this closet, he shoved the bottle forward and only saw her hand accept it.

He blinked at her sluggishly, his pink lips parting beneath his mustache. There was a flicker of recognition.

“You ran with Luke, right?”

Surprised, she nodded. Joel had remembered her.

Luke. Gorgeous Luke, who was the very picture of a homecoming king. A movie star. Corn-fed. Blonde hair, white teeth, and sea-glass green eyes. He had been full of hope, and there had been a time when Joel and his brother, Tommy, had worked with them. She’d stuck to the corners. Watched. Observed. Frightened out of her mind because she didn’t understand how to live anymore—how to function, barter, or be content. Luke had done it all, protected her to the best of his ability.

“You’ve gotta take a deep breath, baby,” Luke had ordered, shrouding her face between his dry, clean hands. “You adapt. You live. That’s it.”

“Good guy,” Joel offered, somewhat awkwardly. Everyone knew what had happened to Luke. She’d been surprised that many people cared at the time. The Apocalypse had occurred, but the community still gave a shit over the handsome jock with the diplomatic smile.

She huffed a laugh, and he frowned.

“He was an idiot,” she hissed–very resentful even if it had been three years. He’d left her here. 

There’d been so much blood—eggplant purple pouring out of Luke as he gurgled for her. 

Joel pushed the bottle into her hand, his knuckles brushing her palm. She took a pull and didn’t wince. “He still operated as if the rules hadn’t changed. He didn’t understand that you have to be a bad person to survive here. He trusted too easily. Far too empathetic for his own good.” She scowled as she knocked her head against the wall. It throbbed–spots of white sprouting across her vision like a fungus–

“Hey,” Joel said, leaning into her. “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

She could smell the honey-burn of whiskey on his tongue, in his beard. There was also the press of wet dog, sweat, and body odor. She was used to that. She was used to the smell of unwashed humans. Those were good scents because they didn’t carry that mildewy stench of fungi. A water-logged basement. A moss-covered stone at the edge of a pond.

She inhaled and found Joel’s hair brushed in smoke. Cigarette ash. He was closer to her, his denim sleeve rasping her bare arm. 

“You’re shivering,” he mumbled.

“I know.”

It happened within a second. An unspoken decision erupting like a metallic click of a lighter.

She was lonely—so lonely and she wanted to burn. Perhaps, he did too.

His eyes found hers, his lids heavy, and his cheeks flushed. She wasn’t sure if she moved first or he did, but she knew they didn’t kiss. He jerked to the side last minute, his mouth scraping down the side of her cheek.

He encouraged her to lie down, his chest against her breasts as he petted her hips, the outside of her thigh. He was heavy, breathing hard as he buried his face into her neck.

“Lift your hips,” he murmured as he popped the button on her jeans and rucked them down to her knees with his nose still rooted against her jaw. 

They fucked fully clothed on the filthy, cement floor. 

She pushed his jeans under his ass as he gripped his cock and smeared it against the lips of her cunt. It was clumsy and desperate, but it felt good. Everything felt good. She had to bite his shoulder when he finally breached her. He moved too quickly, sinking to the hilt as her body tried to accommodate his girth. He’d broken her in, forced her to mold to his size, and she found herself fisting his hair, biting his neck.

“You’re good,” he hummed as he slowly began to saw his hips. “Fuckin’ great, sweetheart.”

The drag of his cock sizzled her insides and spread her apart. He pinned her down and buried her with his full weight. She felt safe—blanketed by him and all of his denim.

Every thrust forced her spine up the wet floor. Her knees dug into his ribs, her ankle wrapped around the back of his calve. He smelled like a soaked garden. Soil. A brushfire. Wood. His nails were dirty, and she arched when he dug them into her waist. 

He ground against her in a way that made the wiry hairs at his groin stimulate her, his pelvic bone rubbing her clit. She climaxed a little too quickly. Embarrassingly quickly. It had been so long since Luke and Joel was big. The pain was welcome. The ache of him. She clenched around him, tightened to a knot as she cried out into his hair. His curls were caught in her breath, his beard burning her skin. 

Afterward, he stood, tucking his soft cock, shiny with her, into his jeans. The near-empty bottle of whiskey rolled against her leg. He attempted a smile that was more of a glower and shook his head a bit to clear it before backpedaling out the door.

***

It ended up working out—forced proximity. 

He needed a second hand, and anyone else found him scary. He seemed taken aback when she offered her help, perhaps surprised at her forwardness. 

We fucked. That’s it. 

But–he accepted her, begrudgingly pulling her into his plans. She was a tiny island in a sea of several. Her group had been Luke, and the others within it had done what they did to him. She’d killed them for that—no more group.

He gave her the couch in his small place. Tommy was in and out. Ships in the night, she supposed, though she didn’t know what had broken between them.

Most of the time, Joel ignored her. He seemed unable to look her in the eye, which she found hilarious. Her ego had long been snuffed out, but she couldn’t help the pinch of hurt at Joel’s coldness.

You’ve been inside me. C’mon. 

He gave her orders. She watched his back. He was someone who would know of her existence if she died. 

Would he care? She doubted it.

But he’d know she’d been there. Breathing. Alive. 

***

One midnight, Joel returned to the apartment, pissed off. She hated waiting for him, being left behind. She’d rather be out there and with him.

Luke had died alone. He’d told her to stay put, and he’d gone out and died. 

Joel had stumbled toward the couch in the dark. Forgetting she was there, he’d crashed into her, and she’d yelped. 

“Fuck,” he growled, shoving a hand through his curls. “What the hell!?”

“It’s my bed,” she murmured, and it seemed to douse his fire. He blinked at her, the moonlight turning the edges of his face silver. 

“I don’t understand,” she continued, voice a little thick with frustration. “If you don’t want me here–”

“Lie back.”

He went to his knees, hands moving under her ass and pulling it forward. He cupped it and lifted her pelvis. Shorts gone. Joel’s skin was cold from the outdoors, and he hitched her knees over his shoulders. His hair tickled her skin. He covered her cunt with his mouth and drank from her. He devoured without a hint of shame because she could hear herself on his tongue. The wet mess of her pussy. The room rang with her whimpers, and when she tried to silence them with her hand, he growled like an animal–a beast. 

Afterward, he stood up mechanically, before stalking back to his room. He left her with her shorts around her ankles, her cunt tender and soaked.

He hadn’t even wiped his lips.

***

She learned from him—what he had become. He was selfish and drowning in the bloodlust that rippled under his skin like a parasite. She got it. She found it stimulating. His philosophy of kill or be killed. His ego stroked with every fight he caused or fatal situation he inevitably won. 

Two months in, she watched him put a bullet in a newbie smuggler who had sold him pills made from chalk and sugar. 

He turned around, grabbed her hard by the back of the neck and shoved her up against a wall. He dragged her pants under her ass as he fiddled with his belt. After a distressing second, he pushed himself into her. No spit. No preparation at all. It was dry enough to hurt them both, but she still moaned. He gagged her with his palm as he fisted her hair. He fucked her in short, brutal strokes. Thump...thump….thump against the plaster wall. An even, steady rhythm. He didn’t rush it. He didn’t speak either. Just grunts. Just feral, low noises from the back of his throat. 

“Joel,” she gasped, and he pinned her with his hips. He withdrew until only the tip remained before plunging back inside her like he could fuck her guts. Maybe, he wanted to. Maybe, he wanted to punish her and remind her:

I’m a bad person. I’m the kind of person who survives in a world like this. Isn’t that what you want?

***

“How old are you?” Joel asked out of the blue; his brows knitted together in concern. 

It was a little late for that. The air between them spiked before becoming sour and viscous as jelly. He pulled his shoulders back, his expression twisting into something hesitant and concerned. 

She chewed her lip thoughtfully, wondering if she should lie for his benefit. Finally, she told him, and he grimaced. The age difference wasn’t that obscene. It wasn’t unheard of or ugly. There weren’t many people left to begin with. She’d seen him kill. He knew what she had done to avenge Luke.

Joel rubbed the scar across her belly. "Was this from the woods? After Luke?"

"You should see the other guys."

Joel grinned in a way that was so deliciously impressed. Smug. "Oh," he said, curling with glee. "Oh-I did. Had no idea a little thing like you could even think of such things."

She leaned forward, her lips hovering over his own. His hands found her ass and he encouraged her down until he was half-way inside her. He was all blood - unforgivably hard and he split her down the middle. She loved it.

"I lost my mind for a second," she revealed, deliberately flexing the walls of her pussy. He grunted and became slightly cross-eyed. "You know...” she continued. "If it had happened to you? I might have done the same."

"If I had been Luke?"

"If you had been Luke."

Suddenly, he grabbed her hard and shoved her down, impaling her on his cock until he couldn't drive further. He was in her throat--her lungs. Joel. "I wouldn't be Luke," he argued huskily as he snapped into her - once - twice. He smacked her ass and the sound rocketed through the room. "I'm a bad guy, remember?"

She tried to laugh, but it tumbled out of her like a whimper. "Still," she said between the continuous, punishing stabs of his cock. "Still--I'd avenge you."

She held her hand out, and he took it. He could wrap his whole fist around hers and she’d disappear.

“Don’t worry so much,” she warned. “You’ll get wrinkles.”

Of course, he was already well-worn. She bet he was lined and edged even before the infection. He was a constant overthinker. She knew he’d been a carpenter, but the rest was a wash—all diluted gray mass of nothin’. His life before was not something he gave her.

“Why are we holdin’ hands again?”

She lifted her shoulders, gaze wandering away from his pointed stare. “Just consoling you now that you’ve realized you’re a dirty old man.”

He squeezed until her bones trembled before rolling his eyes in a disarmingly young way. “You need to watch that mouth of yours.”

***

Joel was swollen with a fever. She touched his forehead, dragging her fingertips across his cheekbone. She traced a letter and then her name. He leaned into it, lips parting as his whiskey-damp breath brushed her skin. 

“You’re not doing too well,” she observed. His bare shoulders bulged from the edge of the blanket, and his lashes fluttered. His mouth curled as he tried to shift against the thin mattress.

“S’fine,” he slurred. 

She swallowed a scream. She wanted to burst. She could do nothing for him but wait. Hope it was a virus. Hope it was a plain old illness that had to tire itself out. 

“Let me go to the other side of town,” she murmured. “I’ll find you meds. I’m sure I can.”

His eyes snapped open at that. He attempted to sit up before groaning. “Don’t–don’t–you fuckin’ dare.” He said her name softly as he melted back into the mattress. Coughing. Moaning. “Do not go.”

He pushed his head into her lap in the blurred daze of his fever. She swept his hair away from his face, combing his fingers through his damp curls. 

If he got worse, she’d go. She’d have to. 

The next day, the fever dropped a point. Joel couldn’t fall asleep, instead trembling in the bed, sweating rivulets of sickness. 

She played him Lee Hazlewood. Your Sweet Love. She played it on repeat. It rocked him somewhat, and with her imagination, she turned the popcorned ceiling into stars and a twilight sky. 

Joel curled into her. “You smell nice,” he sighed. He held her closer, demanding warmth even though his skin was oven-hot.

In the morning, his fingers wandered down between her legs. He touched her, stroked her until she shook in his sweat-sodden sheets. The intimacy killed her. It was too much and not enough.

***

She worked one of the body disposal shifts and cut her hand on some glass. The wind was painfully cold, and the blood that bubbled up from the gash felt like hot tea. She studied it, somewhat enraptured by its brightness of it. It turned the dirty snow at her feet maroon.

She heard her name. It was muffled, and then it was louder, familiar, and seared with frustration. Joel. He gripped her hard by the arms, twisting her around. Joel handled fear terribly. Terror could only be molded into anger for him. Violence. 

He shook her. “Where have you been? I waited an hour.”

She lifted her hand to show him. She still could be childish. She wondered if she had stopped maturing after the world had ended. 

His eyes slowly crept from her face to her hand. “How?”

“Some glass,” she shrugged.

“Is—are—-,” He trailed off, audibly swallowing.

She found it off-putting. Joel was usually so collected. 

“If I were infected—they would have shot me,” she reminded him, and he sagged an inch. Of course. Of course. How silly of me. 

He rearranged his expression so that it was his usual gruff stoniness. 

“You’re freezing,” he accused as if she could help it. Boston winter. Not enough layers.

We thought the cold would stomp out the infection–the bacteria–the fungus. 

“It’s fine–”

Wordlessly, Joel wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hauling her into the heat of his chest. Surprised, she gripped the fabric of his shirt as he forced his jacket around the both of them. The sky was blue-black, and the snow clung to her hair and scalp. It coated his coffee-brown hair in powdered sugar.

She pressed her face into his sternum, nuzzling her nose into the space between his pecs. 

“Let me see your hand,” he urged. 

She gave it to him, still dripping and tender. She needed a bandage. Of course, FEDRA tested her, but they wouldn’t waste a single strip of gauze.

She heard Joel curse them under his breath before cradling her hand, fingertips barely nudging the injury. He dropped his head and kissed the vulnerable space between her thumb and index finger, and when he pulled away, there was the faintest trace of her blood on his chin.

“So weird,” she said. “So alive.”

His brow furrowed. She might be a little light-headed.

Yes. Yes. Hot-feverish blood meant her heart was pulsing, thumping with life just like Joel. His anger. His pain. What he does to her in the dark. 

“C’mere,” She grasped his face between her hands. Unshaven. Prickly. Her blood. On tiptoe, she claimed his mouth, and he accepted, even demanded more.

[bullet-prooflove]

Maybe with: apologies, flowers and kisses ❤️

Tagging: @kmc1989 @plaidbooks @witches-unruly-heart @storiesofsvu @rosaliedepp

Companion piece to:

Interrupted (NSFW) - You and Joe are interrupted by his phone.

You’ve just come off a double when you get home to find the white orchids sitting on your welcome mat. They reside in a pretty yellow pot with an envelope propped up against it. Your name is written in Joe’s blocky form with a couple of kisses tagged onto the end.  You sigh as you pick them up, tucking them under your arm as you use your key to open the door before placing them on the small dining table in your kitchen.

You know that they’ve been chosen specifically for their meaning, that they’re supposed to show a commitment to making things right. The problem is you’re not sure of the reality of that situation because this shit with Joe, it’s only going to keep happening and you need to figure out if you can live with that.

You make yourself a cup of tea before you sit down and open the envelope. There’s a leaflet inside for a bed and breakfast in Lake Placid, along with a post it note with a set of dates.

Let’s get away for a while, Joe has written. Turn off the cellphones for a weekend.

You take the night to think about it, after all you’re exhausted and you don’t want to make any rash decisions. Right now your relationship with Joe is on a precipice and you need to figure out whether to take that leap or pull back and let the whole thing dash itself on the rocks below.

You spend the night tossing and turning thinking of life with Joe, without Joe.  The stuff you see in work, it’s terrible, the worst shit that humanity has to offer and that man he’s a light in the dark sometimes, with his understanding and easy humour.

You’re not ready to let that go just yet, not when it has the potential to be something great.

You text him back the next morning, sipping from a cup of coffee as you get yourself ready for work.

Make the reservation, you tell him. And I’ll pack that pretty thing you like.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[dyinglikenarcissus]

Kitten

7k words

Warnings: 18+ only! This is pure smut. A little dubcon. Your brother’s alpha besties want you but they’ve been so good for so long. What happens when a group trip turns into a one bed situation? Also reader is Sam’s long lost sister or something. Suspend your belief 😂 (I had to include some kind of Sam for our shared birthday)

Enjoy 😊

Please do not copy or repost my work

This really wasn’t supposed to happen.

They’re your brother’s friends. How did you end up like this?

They were supposed to be going on a boys fishing trip to celebrate your brother’s new job but he suddenly came down with something and wasn’t feeling up to it and, as his roommate and baby sister, they insisted you take his place. You didn’t know the first thing about fishing! But when it came to his two alpha buddies you got all tongue tied and your omega came spilling out like an over boiling pot. They were just so handsome and big and imposing and charismatic. They have great jobs and fancy cars and penthouse apartments. The ideal alphas.

It also didn’t help that you were a couple weeks away from your heat. It just makes their sway over you more powerful. They didn’t mean any harm. They were just used to being surrounded by other alphas. They didn’t know how to reign it in. Normally your brother was around as a buffer. You were rarely ever alone with them…

The two hour car ride was the longest you’d ever spent with just the two of them. They went on and on about baseball and beer and guns and other things you had absolutely no knowledge about so you just sat quietly in the back seat with your phone and your switch and prayed you were almost there.

But it would be fine! It was supposed to be a huge family suite with a bunch of rooms and a full kitchen and everything. You’d have your own space to retreat to if they became…too much for you.

But being there gave you absolutely no relief.

“I’m sorry!” The hotel front desk manager started after looking up your stay. “We accidentally overbooked and had to give away your room. We can rectify it tomorrow but tonight all we have is a single king.”

They readily agreed, not paying any attention to your protest. They said it would be fun. Like camping.

You never liked camping.

So now you stand between the rock that is Steve Rogers and the hard place that is Bucky Barnes.

“We’ll just take the floor, kitten,” Bucky smiles using the nickname they’ve called you since you were children. “I prefer it anyway. Better for my back.”

“Yeah. You get comfortable. Don’t worry about us,” Steve assures you. You just nod while the boys call down for extra pillows and blankets and food while you clean up from the long drive. It wasn’t super late but it was late enough that you weren’t going to do anything else tonight. The boys wanted to get up early. Apparently that’s when the fish are most active? The most you knew about fishing was from Animal Crossing and if any of that was true, they should be waiting for it to rain. Which reminds you that you that you need to water your flowers in your little digital town. You’ll do it as soon as you’re out of the shower…

Well, ain’t this some shit.

You didn’t exactly pack to share close quarters.

The only PJs you brought were mini shorts and cropped tank tops that were pretty much transparent in the right light. You should have brought a comfy sweater or something to cover up in but you wanted to pack light. You didn’t want to look like ‘that girl’ with a suitcase for every night. But at least you’d have a sleeping sweater…

You roll your eyes at your idiotic lack of foresight and choose the least see through ones and hope they don’t look too closely.

So much for that.

The second you walk back into the main room, two sets of blue eyes are on you. They suddenly forget all about their baseball, their beer, and their guns at the vision in front of them. Your soft curves are clearly visible through your lack of clothes: a sight they’ve only seen when the group goes swimming. They can barely keep it together with you prancing around in tiny fabric triangles that barely cover your wet and obviously cold body. But normally your brother was there to keep them at bay.

No older brother in sight. Just you left alone for the two of them. All. Weekend. Long.

Steve is the first one clear his throat and avert his gaze. “We ordered some pizzas. Is that okay with you?”

“Y-yeah! Pizza’s great,” you smile nervously. “I’m done in the bathroom if either of you want a turn.”

Bucky doesn’t even spare Steve a glance as he makes his way to the bathroom. “Age before beauty,” he snarks at the blond leaving the two of you alone.

You just smile at the tall blond sitting on the edge of the bed before rifling through your luggage for your Switch unknowingly giving Steve the perfect view of your peach ass through your tiny shorts.

“Shit,” Steve breathes, tilting his head slightly to see what else you’re hiding under there.

“What was that?” You ask pulling yourself out from your duffle.

“Oh, nothing,” the blond says quickly snapping his head back to the TV. “Just the game. Crazy play…” he trails.

“Oh?” You smile and nod already knowing you won’t understand what’s going on so you don’t bother asking. You snuggle up against the pillows to play your game and ignore whatever sports ball game is on.

“What are you playing?” His voice doesn’t initially reach you as you shake your head and focus on the alpha watching you. When did Steve’s eyes get so pretty? They’re like kaleidoscopes of green and blue. Hmmmm…

Wait. He said something, didn’t he?

“I’m sorry?”

“What are you playing?” He asks again leaning back to see the screen of your handheld console.

“Animal Crossing,” you whisper. He’s so close you can feel the body heat radiating off of him. He’s never been this close…

“That game’s super popular lately, huh? Never tried it. I used to just play Halo and GTA when I was as your age.”

“GTA is pretty fun,” you smile.

“What’s an innocent little thing like you know about GTA?”

“I get on my brother’s PlayStation every once in a while,” you admit. “I’m not that innocent,” you giggle singing the song.

“I feel like we’ll be learning all kinds of things about you this weekend,” Steve laughs as his hand finds your ankle, stroking the smooth skin gently. You practically leap from your skin. He can’t do that! Can he? He can’t do it again…

And then he does, his rough fingers tracing the inside of your ankle, and a wave arousal spills from you like clockwork. His fresh rain and smoke scent washes over you heavily and a soft whimper escapes your lips.

You can’t do this! Not for a whole weekend!

A knock at the door has you leaping away from him, tugging your feet away quickly.

“Someone’s jumpy,” Steve laughs before getting the door. Saved by the bell. A hotel employee brings a stack of pillows, blankets, and towels before rolling in a cart with two pizza boxes and two pitchers of beer.”

“We figured you wouldn’t eat much,” Steve laughs grabbing a chilled glass and plate before leaning next to you on the bed.

“Food’s here?” Bucky grins stepping out of the bathroom in a pair of low hanging grey sweats. Just a pair of low hanging grey sweats…

So many muscles…so much outline…

You’re going to die here.

His hair was still wet and messy as he mimicked Steve; grabbing food and finding a spot on the other side of you on the bed.

“What’s up, kitten? You gonna eat?” He asks before taking a bite.

“Uh, yeah,” you whisper and slide out from between the two giant men. When did it get so hot? You’re suddenly glad for your lack of clothing.

There’s no chairs or a table in this room. It really is the barebones. It’s hard to believe that this is the same hotel with three bedroom suites.

You sit on the edge of the bed, taking Steve’s spot and nibbling on your food quietly.

“Kitten, you know we love you but you’re blocking the TV,” Bucky groans. “Come back up here.” No. No no no no. Not back there between those two big imposing men.

“Your spots still nice and warm for you,” Steve sighs patting the spot in between them. You didn’t need warmth. Warmth was the last thing you needed. But you slide your plate across the bed and scoot back between them.

“Ain’t this nice?” Bucky asks.

“You don’t want a drink, kitten?” Steve wonders.

“Oh no,” you smile. “Beer isn’t really my thing.”

“Shit! We should’ve ordered something for you. We should know you better by now,” Steve sighs.

“Rosé, huh, kitten?” Bucky asks guiltily.

“Yeah, a rosé would be nice but I’m fine,” you insist and shake your bottle of water before taking a sip.

“That’s no fun kitten. We want you to drink with us. I’ll call down and get a bottle.” A whole bottle? Oh no! You attempt to stop the brunet alpha but he’s already on the phone ordering their best bottle.

“Don’t worry about it, kitten. We’ll pay for it,” Steve laughs. That’s not the problem! You almost shout at him but then he uses that alpha influence on you. “Sit back and relax. Please.”

“O-okay,” you whisper and settle back into the pillows.

“Who knew you could be so obedient?” Bucky laughs hanging up the phone. “You never listen to your brother like that?”

These two are not your brother.

“Did you see that play?” Steve shouts.

“He’s going! He going! He’s going!”

“Come on, Evans! Fuck yeah! You’re going to owe me a fortune at the end of the season,” Steve laughs.

“My bracket’s going to turn around. Just you wait, punk.”

“Whatever, jerk.” You smile at their antics. You’ve heard it your entire life but it never stopped being adorable.

“You two are cute.” The words slip from your mouth before you get a chance to stop yourself. Their blue gazes are back on you in an instant.

“Cute, huh?” Bucky smirks, biting his bottom lip slightly. Oh no.

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” Steve grins leaning slightly closer to you. No no no no! You almost claw your way out from between them when there’s another knock at the door. Thank God!

You move to get up but Bucky presses your thigh back down. “Sit. I got it.” He returns only to hand you a glass of wine. “Drink up. You have a whole bottle to get through.”

“There’s no way I’ll finish that, Bucky,” you laugh taking the glass with both hands.

“You won’t know until you try, kitten,” Steve smirks poking your nose with his index finger.

These two are going to kill you.

You’re soon giggling at Bucky’s jokes and leaning into Steve’s touch after your third glass of wine.

“You should’ve seen him. He was puking over the railing. Those poor fish!” Bucky laughs at the man behind you’s expense. Steve attempts to fight off his own laughter, gripping your waist and pulling you closer against him as you laugh at Bucky’s story.

“Whatever. You keep talking shit. I’m going to take a shower,” Steve chuckles and pulls away from you.

“So, kitten, tell me about your first date?”

“What?” You laugh, taking a sip of your wine.

“We told you about ours. I wanna hear about yours,” Bucky smiles running his hand up your thigh.

“Oh, it really isn’t all that interesting. It was just this guy in high school. We went to the movies. I think we saw Superbad or one of those Michael Cera movies. He tried to kiss me before my mom could come get me up but I wasn’t feeling it.”

“You wouldn’t kiss a guy after one of Michael Cera’s attempts at acting?”

“No,” you giggle. “He’s a fine actor. I just wasn’t feeling it,” you shrug.

“Alright, tell me about your first kiss then.”

“My first…?” You ask scrunching your brows up at the alpha. “Umm, well…”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never been kissed,” Bucky laughs leaning a little closer. His hand hitches a little higher on your hip, gripping what’s exposed of your ass. Any other time you would have been running as far away from him as possible but right now his sandalwood and lavender scent is going to send you straight into an early heat.

“Promise not to laugh?” You ask looking up at him through your lashes.

“I won’t. Scouts honor.”

“Like you were ever a scout,” you smile in disbelief. “Well, I didn’t have it until college.”

“Late bloomer, huh?”

You nod. “I went to my first ever college party and got really wasted and I was dancing with this guy.”

“Recipe for disaster,” Bucky grins, pulling you a little closer. You happily curl into him, slotting your leg between his. Your hand comes to rest on his lower stomach. You’ve never felt such strong abs before. You can’t help but feel a little bit. You hope he doesn’t mind.

“I told you not to laugh!” You smile.

“You’re telling the story so dramatically I can’t help it.”

You groan softly and continue your story. “So I was dancing with this guy and my friends were ready to leave so we left and he came with us. Walked with us all the way across campus, it had to have been a couple of miles and he lived close to where the party was.”

“He was trying to get some,” Bucky laughs spanking you softly.

“He was! And he wasn’t subtle about it at all! We were plotting how to ditch him the entire walk. So my friend, Milly, said just make out with him and we’ll have the automatic doors at the dorm lock him out. She didn’t know I’d never kissed a guy so I was just dreading it. Like, why do I care how this guy thinks I kiss but we made it to the dorm. They’re looking at me expectantly, waiting to slam the auto doors on this poor kids face. I just copied what I’d seen on TV, lured him right into the doorway and I just went for it. I literally puffed out my cheeks and pressed my lips against his and he tried to stick his tongue in my mouth and it was horrible! It scared me so much, I stepped back before the girls said go but Milly was on the wrestling team so she has lightning fast reflexes and she slammed the door right on his tongue.” You can’t help the laughter that spills from you and Bucky’s soon follows. “You said you wouldn’t laugh!” You cry pressing your hand against his chest.

“How could you expect me not to laugh at that?” He chuckles. “Poor fucker. Didn’t know what he was getting into with a feisty little omega like you.”

“Feisty? Me?” You laugh.

“Yes, you,” Steve laughs from behind you, sliding back into the bed freshly washed and in only a thin pair of boxers and a tank top. “What’d you do, kitten?” His strong arms wrap around your waist pulling you slightly from Bucky’s grip. One hand splays across you stomach and the other rest a little too high on your ribs to be friendly.

“She was telling me about her first kiss. She’s an evil little thing.”

“Oh, not our kitten. She’s an angel,” Steve admits nuzzling his face in your neck. It feels so good. To be wrapped in two pairs of strong arms. Both their scents settle over you so comfortably. You wish you could drown in it. You practically purr at their touch. In fact…

“Kitten,” Bucky laughs. “Are you purring?”

“No!” You deny quickly pressing away from them. “We should really get ready for bed-”

“Aw, come on, kitten,” Bucky sighs pulling you back down into his embrace. “Hang out with us.” Hang out? The last thing these two were doing was hanging out but you fall back into his arms anyway. “Was your second kiss any better?” Bucky asks distracting you from Steve’s touch.

“W-well, yeah. They were all much better after that.”

“So, you’re a pretty good kisser, huh?” Steve asks pressing his lips against your neck then licking at the sensitive skin there just above your scent gland. “Do you kiss as good as you taste?”

“Wha-! No! Steve!” You whine squirming under his touch.

“Kitten, really. I wish you’d relax for us,” Bucky sighs. “You haven’t slammed anymore tongues into doors?”

You shake your head no while Bucky’s hand grips your ass, pulling you into him and right into something more stiff than his abs but they don’t even give you a chance to react to that.

“Can you show me, kitten? How you kiss?” Steve asks softly, his hand snaking under your tiny shirt and pressing you down onto your back.

“Stevie, Bucky, w-we really shouldn’t be doing this,” you whine looking up into Steve’s ocean eyes. He really does have beautiful eyes.

“Why shouldn’t we?” Bucky asks pressing kisses to your bare shoulder. “You trust us, don’t you?”

“We’d never hurt you, kitten. You have no idea how long we’ve waited to get you away from your brother.”

“Practically since you presented.”

“That long?” You whisper, attempting to look at Bucky.

“You developed all these tantalizing curves, kitten. How could we resist?” There are hands all over your body. You can’t tell which ones belong to who. All you know is that you don’t want them to stop.

“We know you want us,” Steve sighs pressing your tiny shirt up over your breasts. “Your scent is fucking intoxicating.”

“And it spikes like crazy when we’re around. Just let us make you feel good, kitten. If you hate it, we’ll leave you alone,” Bucky promises.

“But we know you’ll love it.” Steve presses down your body and nips at your breast. You whine, spreading your legs to accommodate his large body.

“See? You already love it,” Bucky chuckles. He finally presses his lips to yours and it practically takes your breath away.

“Bucky,” you whimper against his lips as his scents spikes for you.

“Fuck,” Steve groans against your nipples. “Open up for us. Good girl, kitten.” You whine as your core clenches around nothing. You need them. You’ve never needed anyone more in your life. A set of fingers find your clothed core and you arch off the bed dramatically. “Warm her up for me, Buck?”

“You got it, pal,” Bucky chuckles around your lips. So many of your senses were firing at once. You didn’t know what to focus on. Steve’s tongue on your nipples and Bucky’s fingers at your clit. Fuck. It was all too much.

“Please,” you whisper not knowing what you wanted but you needed it.

“Please?” Steve chuckles. “Whatever you want, kitten. We’ll give it to you.”

“But you gotta tell us,” Bucky mutters. His fingers clear your tiny shorts and make contact with your naked pussy. You gasp at the feeling making them both chuckle softly.

“What can we do for you?” Steve asks.

“I-I wanna-I wanna-“

“You wanna what, kitten?” Steve’s mouth sucks at your sensitive nipples and Bucky’s fingers press against your quivering clit.

“Wanna cum!” You whine sharply.

“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky chuckles and pulls away from you along with Steve.

“Wai-! Where are you going?” You pant as they sit back to watch you.

“We need to get rid of all these clothes first,” Steve explains and presses your legs together to pull off your shorts while Bucky tugs your tiny top over your head. Then they work on themselves. Your eyes widen as you watch them peel off their bottoms, revealing their hard red leaking cocks.

“What’s wrong, kitten? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Bucky smirks as he tosses away his sweats and grips his heavy erection, a steady stream leaking from it’s tip and making his scent so much more heady.

“You’re alright. Just relax,” Steve’s scent permeates beyond Bucky’s settling over you like a weighted blanket as he strips revealing his own giant cock. Precum bubbles out of his tip in thick globs making you gulp.

“Y-you’re both so big,” you whisper.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Steve laughs. “We’ll get you nice and warmed up. You’ll barely feel us.” Barely!? You want to run away but you’re paralyzed under their gaze. “Now, let me get a real taste of you.” Steve tugs your legs up over his shoulders until you’re dangling with the top of your head on his lap and staring blankly at a now upside down Bucky. You don’t even have time to think about it before his tongue licks a strip up your core and you’re left screaming for him.

“Told you we’d make you feel good,” Bucky chuckles. “Now look at you. In the perfect position to fill up that cute little hole.”

“Wh-“ But you’re cut off by Bucky tapping his tip against your bottom lips. “That’s not gonna fit!” You protest but it’s on deaf ears as he presses past your lips into your hot, wet mouth.

“See? We know what we’re doing, kitten. Trust us,” Bucky sighs as he strokes himself against your lips. A hand wraps around one of yours and guides it around his thick member, showing you how hard to squeeze. “There you go, kitten. Good girl. Just like that. Fuck. How long do you think she can stay like this, Stevie?”

Steve pulls away long enough to mutter, “Until she cums,” before diving back into your hot pussy.

You whine around your oral burden feeling the blood simultaneously rush to your head and your core until you feel like you’ll pass out from the pressure. Your whimpers get more frantic and your attention on Bucky’s cocks gets more spotty until you’re legs are clamped around Steve’s head for dear life. You get so close as everything gets so dark and fuzzy around the edges. You can’t hold on anymore. Your eyes flutter shut just as sparkles burst behind your lids and you cum flooding into Steve’s awaiting mouth.

Fuck…

Fuck!

Your eyes wretch open at the impossible stretch inside your core. “Ah! Ahhh! Stevie! Bucky!” You cry out softly as the walls of flesh around you start to console you.

“Hey! Hey, kitten. You’re okay. Calm down,” Steve instructs, his scent starting to lull you into a sense of security as his fingers stroke your cheek gently.

“We told you you’d barely feel it,” Bucky laughs from behind you.

You feel it now! He feels impossibly large and how is he fucking you twice?

You glance down to see between your and Steve’s bodies.

No. No no no no! You let out a strangled scream as the pain of having two monster cocks inside of you starts register.

“Hey! Relax!” Bucky barks. “It feels good, doesn’t it? Being this full of us?”

“Just imagine being full of our babies,” Steve grunts.

“Fuck, you’d look so beautiful. All round with huge, leaking tits,” Bucky chuckles as his fingers dance across your hard nipples.

“You aren’t on birth control, are you?”

“N-no,” you whisper, smothering your face is Steve’s shoulder.

“Good,” they both reply at once. Not good. You weren’t ready for babies. You didn’t even have a mate…

“Stop,” Bucky calls to his partner sensing your distress first. “What wrong, kitten?”

“Tell us. Let us fix it,” Steve seconds as they both still inside of you.

You can barely think straight with them stretching you like this let alone reply.

“Can’t-can’t have a baby,” you strain.

“Why not?” Steve asks, stroking your braids from your face before cupping your face.

“I-we-we’re not-“

“Out with it, kitten,” Bucky groans smacking the side of your ass.

“Bucky,” Steve reprimands. “Talk to us, kitten.”

“We’re not mated!” You finally moan into Steve’s shoulder.

“Oh?” Steve laughs.

“Is that all?” Bucky chuckles. “Don’t worry about that.”

“You’ll have marks all over you by Sunday. No one will ever question who you belong to,” Steve smirks before gripping your hips and beginning to thrust into you anew. Bucky follows suit and you wonder just how much the human body can take before it splits in half. It’s too much. Far too much. They’re too big! They take up too much space in your little body. Just when you think you’ll pass out again Steve grumbles that he’s going to cum and Bucky mimics his notion shortly afterwards.

“Please, please, please,” you chant, slurring your speech with how close your own release is.

Then one of them hits that spot just right and you’re screaming for them, clinching around them enough that they cum spilling inside of you. And then you’re left screaming again as their knots pop into place keeping all that essence bottle up inside you as they continue to spew their seed.

You gasp as you feel your belly bloat with all of it, bowing outward against Steve’s strong abs.

“Too much!” You whine at the feeling. Too full. Too tight. Too heavy. Far too much.

“Hey! I know. I know. It’s a lot. Hang in there for us,” Bucky attempts to soothe but you immediately feel another round of hot cum paint your insides and ballooning your stomach even more.

“Can’t!” You cry but both men rub your arms and your face, attempting to calm you just enough to get you on your side. Bucky’s hand finds your bloated stomach and rubs soft circles into it while Steve whispers sweet praises in your ear.

“You were so good for us, kitten. The best girl we could ask for. You gonna hold on to all that hot cum and make us a bunch of babies?” You can only nod slightly as you attempt to get comfortable. Your quickened breaths eventually get heavier as you start to doze off. “There you go, kitten. Get some rest. You deserve it.”

“She’s tight as a drum, Stevie,” Bucky sighs as his fingers find your navel. It’s straining against the need to pop to give the cum inside you a little extra room.

“We might have over done it,” Steve chuckles until he feels his partner starting to strain against his knot. “The fuck are you doing?

“She’s just so hot like this. I can’t help it,” Bucky groans as he humps into their little partner.

“Fuck, Buck!” Steve hisses trying to ignore the friction against his own cock. “You’re gonna make me cum!” But Bucky just ignores him thrusting shallowly into you while you sleep.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fu-“ Bucky sighs cumming into you once more and pulling Steve closely behind with him. You whimper softly in your sleep as your tummy bows out even more.

“Fuck, Buck! No more. She can’t handle it,” Steve says with an air of authority as he holds you against him protectively.

“I’m exhausted anyway,” the brunet yawns and cups your breast and your stomach as he follows you into sleep.

You wake up far more bloated than you remember when you fell asleep but at least both your alphas knots had gone down.

Your alphas…

It was interesting to think of them like that after so long of them being your brother’s friends. Your alphas sounds…nice.

You scramble from between the two sleeping giants and rush to the bathroom to release the load they deposited in you. You watch your bloated stomach deflate and wonder what pregnancy would be like.

You quickly shake your head of the thought. No babies without mating! You don’t care how much your omega instincts want to take over, that was never going to happen!

You return to the main room and find Bucky and Steve had turned into more comfortable positions without being knotted inside of you. You still crawl in between them and curl over Bucky’s chest in exhaustion.

“Hey? You alright?” He yawns feeling your weight as you nuzzle into him. You just nod and attempt to snuggle further into his chest. “Hang on. I want my pick of spots. Sit up for a second.” You sleepily obey, sitting on your heels before him while he scrutinizes you. He tilts your head to the left and bares his fangs into your shoulder right above your scent gland. Your eyes widen at how simple it is. No posturing. No rituals. Just a mark and you already feel more drawn to him. “There. All mine,” Bucky smiles proudly. “Punk! Wake up and claim her!” You can’t help but giggle at the two before you slide into Steve’s arms. You hold up your head on the opposite side of Bucky’s for him and that’s it. He’s marked you for life. You feel his pull start to tug you in as well as you press a kiss to his lips. You crawl from his arms and attempt to curl back in between them.

“You are far too active for a pregnant woman,” Steve mutters turning over to face you. “It obviously didn’t take and we need to try again.”

“I agree,” Bucky laughs only for you to protest and use the sheets as a shield against them.

“We have all weekend, right? You two can destroy me again tomorrow?”

Bucky smirks at you knowingly before averting his gaze to Steve. “Only if that’s a promise, ‘mega.” Your eyes widen at your brunet alpha.

“Goodnight, kitten,” Steve wishes and presses a kiss to your temple. “Get some rest. You’re gonna need it.”

You were suddenly very awake.

“Kitten? Rise and shine, my beautiful little omega.” You curl further into the sheets after hearing your name.

“Too early,” you mumble.

“What happened to you being ours today? You promised.” You whine softly and peek from the pillows to see Bucky watching you expectantly. He’s already dressed for the day and so is Steve as he rubs your back from behind you. So sore. You wiggle your hips hoping to alleviate the pain but it doesn’t help.

“We should let her sleep in,” Steve sighs pulling you closer to him.

“She’s fine,” Bucky insists. “Get up and get dressed.” You stretch against Steve’s body, the sheets falling away from you and instantly reminding you that you’re completely naked. You let out a soft gasp and cover your chest out of instinct completely forgetting about last night’s activities.

“Shy all of the sudden?” Steve laughs and kisses your cheek. “You don’t have to hide from us. Come on. Get up.” You roll from the bed and stumble into the bathroom as the events from the previous evening start to flood your mind. You’re mated now. To your brother’s best friends...

He’s going to kill them.

Your eyes widen at the thought before you catch yourself in your reflection. Your braids are a tangled mess but under them you see two sets of semi circular marks on either side of your neck. You really are theirs now.

A shutter runs through your body and ends right at your core.

Theirs.

Your alphas.

This is kind of a lot to spring on someone after one night. You laugh at the situation. You never in a million years thought you’d be mated to Steve and Bucky. Sure you fantasized about it but it was never something you thought would become your reality.

You emerge from the bathroom freshly dressed in a short sun dress. “There she is,” Bucky smiles and pulls you into his arms. “You look so cute all dolled up for us.” You stand on your toes and press a kiss to his lips. He hums positively and pulls you back for more.

Steve chuckles from behind you. “Let her go so we can get some food. Gotta keep our little omega fed.”

You giggle and grab Steve’s hand as he leads you down to the hotel restaurant.

Your first time in public as a mated omega is interesting. All the attention you’re used to getting is gone? Well, not really gone. Alphas still look but they notice the marks you proudly bare on your neck and quickly glance away. It also didn’t help that your alphas were constantly all over you: making your plate, feeding you, making sure you got exactly what you wanted.

“Grab a jacket and something to keep you entertained,” Bucky instructs when you head back to the room.

“Am I going fishing with you guys?” You ask, stretching and yawning. You just wanted to go back to sleep. Steve gives you a positive hum while he gathers his things. “I can just hang out here. Get a massage or something,” you suggest. “Maybe a bigger room will be ready and I can move our stuff…”

“Nah, you can’t do that by yourself,” Bucky denies. “And we want you with us, kitten. It’ll be fun. Better than this stuffy hotel.”

“If you insist,” you sigh and follow them out to the truck. It’s a short drive to their fishing spot, maybe a little over half an hour. They’re quiet as the set up their gear so you set up a folding chair out of their way and work on your town.

“Kitten, you didn’t think you’d sit over there with your game all day, did you?” Bucky laughs calling you over. He grips your thigh under your dress and places a kiss on your hand.

“Is this fishing? Sitting around in the sun by the water?” You ask seeing their set up: a case of beers and a baseball game streaming on one of their iPads. How were they even getting a signal out here?

“Basically,” Steve smirks up at you, those beautiful eyes squinting in the sun. “I’m glad you wore a dress today. Less to work around.”

“Huh?” You question dumbly.

“Kitten, you remember how you promised to make us a baby this weekend?” Bucky asks pulling you closer by your leg.

“Right now?” You blanch looking around the forested landscape.

“Yes, right now. We have plenty of time.”

“What if someone sees?” You ask quietly.

“They’d get a beautiful show,” Steve sighs as Bucky’s hand snakes further up your leg to find your panties. He repositions you between his thighs before tugging the little piece of fabric down your legs. Bucky presses a kiss to your stomach just before his fingers find your slit.“Bucky,” you whisper, your face heating in embarrassment.

“Open up for me, kitten.” He kicks your feet apart and you fall into him, gripping his shoulders to keep your balance. His fingers tuck into your core, making a beaconing motion and immediately finding that spot he abused the night before. You let out a soft shriek as you grip his strong shoulders. Bucky lets out a satisfied hum and kisses your cleavage. “You’re so perfect for us. So glad we have you.”

“My alphas,” you breathe.

“Our perfect little omega,” Steve sighs stepping behind you hiking up your skirt over your ass. “With the best ass on the planet,” you hear the smile in his voice right before he smacks your ass roughly. “Open her up a little more for me, Buck.”

Bucky grips your ass and pulls your knees over his thighs on his folding chair. “Shit. Hold on,” Bucky grunts and stands with your legs around his waist. “Jacket, Stevie?”

Steve lays his jacket down for you to rest your knees on.

“Thank you, Stevie,” you smile.

“Anything for you, kitten.” Steve kisses you but you chase after his lips wanting more, both of their scents calming your nerves a little.

“Is this the same omega who was worried about being caught?” Bucky laughs gripping your bare ass.

“Bucky,” you giggle squirming in his grip.

“Calm down. We’re going to fuck you no matter what,” Steve jokes and kisses you once more. Bucky sits back down with your legs spread open for Steve, you can already feel your juices slipping from your core for them.

“There’s still some cum in you, kitten,” Steve sighs, swiping his fingers through your folds.

“I-it’s your fault,” you whimper.

Steve hums back, the sound of it runs straight down to your core. “My fault? It seems like I have a little kitten who needs to learn to clean up her messes.”

You drop your face into the bend of Bucky’s neck and inhale his scent. It’s so potent and heady you can barely think straight.

“Someone’s getting a little hazy,” Bucky sighs. “Your heat starting, kitten?”

“N-no!” You quickly deny and pull away from him.

“It’s okay. Come back.” He pulls you back into his embrace. “It’s okay if you can’t control it. That’s why we’re here.”

“Let us take care of that pesky heat,” Steve sighs. “You just be our sweet little omega.”

“Speaking of being our sweet little omega, do you wanna mark us, kitten?” Bucky asks pressing his lips to the mark Steve left on your shoulder.

“Y-you want me to…?” You question, your lids starting to feel heavy from the hormones suddenly overtaking your system.

Bucky gives you an affirmative hum, his lips never leaving your skin.

The thought never crossed your mind. You always assumed you’d belong to your alpha. Not the other way around.

It didn’t seem normal. Or, at least, no one ever talked about it.

“You’re sure you want me?” You whisper, trying to fight back the heat for a moment. It was coming no matter what at this point. It’s just a matter of letting it come.

“Kitten, we told you last night. We’ve wanted you for years,” Steve sighs, tilting your head back so you can see him.

“But you’re like a skittish little cat. You run at the first sign of danger. So we had to corner you,” Bucky adds trailing his fingers along your exposed cleavage.

“Get you alone, away from that protective brother of yours,” Steve smirks and kisses your forehead before releasing you.

“We want you, kitten. We have rooms made for you at our homes. Our kitchens are stocked with your favorite foods on the off chance you might come by. We just need you to submit.”

“B-both of you?” You breathe, glancing between the two of them.

“We’re a package deal, sweetheart,” Steve chuckles.

You watch Bucky’s chest for a moment, your fingers gripping his Henley lightly. You glance up at his blue eyes before shifting your gaze to his scent gland.

You nod slightly before leaning down to meet his skin. You kiss the area, trailing kisses until you find the perfect spot for your mark. Then you bite down hard and Bucky’s scent explodes for you. A fresh wave a slick coats your core and you almost feel faint.

“…so good,” you sigh out, mostly to yourself.

“If you like that, just wait for my rut,” Bucky grunts in your ear making your face heat. Everything suddenly feels so hot and your skin is so sensitive.

“My turn?” Steve asks, picking you up to cradle you against his chest. You nod and wrap your arms around his shoulders. You nuzzle against his neck, finding the perfect spot on him as well. Your lips explore his skin before you finally bite down. A whine escapes you as Steve’s scent overwhelms your senses. You grip his shoulders as a cramp runs through your body.

“Fuck, kitten, I felt that,” Steve groans.

“You need someone to scratch that itch?” Bucky asks.

“It’s more than an itch, Buck. She needs to get fucked,” Steve laughs and places you back in his lap.

“Is that right, kitten? You need to get fucked?” A soft whine escapes your lips as you squirm in Bucky’s lap.

You nod weakly. There’s no use in hiding it now. They know you carnally. They feel everything you feel and they definitely feel the slick dripping down your thighs.

“Good girl,” Steve sighs. Steve spreads your lips with his fingers and thrusts in so slowly you feel every ridge and vein adorning his cock. The moan that escapes your lips is feral. You need this. You need them.

Steve completely buries himself in you and your jaw falls open dumbly.

“Fuck,” Steve groans. “You feels amazing, kitten.”

You feel your core clinch around him so tightly it’s almost painful.

Bucky lifts you up while you’re still impaled on Steve’s cock. He unzips his own pants and spreads your cheeks. His fingers wipe up the slick seeping out of your core before fingering your puckered hole.

“Deep breath kitten,” he sighs as he massages your insides, spreading the slick until you’re nice and slippery. “Keep breathing for me.”

Then you feel him. His thick head starting to breech that hole where it definitely shouldn’t.

“Too big,” you whine and struggle between them but before you know it, Bucky is fully sheathed within you.

Part of starts to panic as your heart and breaths race.

“Calm down, little omega. We’re gonna take care of you,” Steve coos.

“Very good care of you,” Bucky agrees.

You return to the hotel and the woman at the front desks apologizes again and hands Steve the keycards to the room he initially booked. The three of you look at each other before Steve speaks. “Actually, do you have any king suites available?”

You let your alphas carry your luggage to your new room. There were much more amenities than the last one. A kitchenette, a jacuzzi, a separate living room and bedroom.

“This a little better kitten?” Bucky asks wrapping his arms around your waist.

You nod and accept a kiss. Your phone vibrates on the table and a picture of your brother pops up on the screen. You pull away from Bucky’s grip and press a kiss to his lips before answering your phone.

“Hey, Sammy! How you feeling?”

“Way better! So I drove out to meet you guys. I knew you didn’t want to be left alone with those jokers for too long.” Your eyes widen and meet Bucky’s gaze like a deer in a set of headlights.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks throwing himself on the bed after he finishes unpacking again.

“Um, S-Sam…Sam is-Sam is…”

Bucky plucks the phone from your fingers. “Hello?” Bucky asks all concern but his face quickly lights up. “Hey! Yeah! Come on up. Room 532.” He hangs up your phone and places it back in your hands. “Sammy’s here,” he tells Steve as if it’s completely normal.

“Cool! I’m glad he’s feeling better.”

“The couch pulls out. I’m not moving rooms again,” Bucky sighs and pulls you to the bed.

“Wait!” You cry. “He-he’s gonna know. He’s gonna kill us!”

“I’d like to see him try,” Bucky laughs rubbing your stomach comfortably. “What are we doing for dinner?”

“I was just looking…there’s a steak house in town, twenty minutes away.”

“Steak sounds good. Anything for our kitten there?”

“They have salmon, shrimp risotto, oh! Lobster ravioli! You love lobster ravioli.” You do love lobster ravioli but your brother is about to see that his two best friends obviously fucked his little sister and you were all about to be on his shit list.

How can they be so calm about this?

There’s a knock at the door all too soon before you could even start to process a defense for the situation.

Steve gets up to answer the door and you hear the two best friends greet each other. Sam sounds so happy.

Too happy!

You start to panic when Bucky’s hand finds yours.

“Hey, relax. We’ll handle this. That’s what alphas are for.”

“Where my baby sister?” You hear Sam call and you pull away from Bucky and stumble from the bedroom. Steve brushes your lower back as you step up to Sam. You look up into his brown eyes and he instantly knows something is off.

He inhales your scent and sets a glare on Steve. “You fucked my little sister.” It wasn’t a question.

“Can you blame us, Sam? We’ve wanted her for far too long. We weren’t going to pass this up.”

“We? Both of you?” His gaze falls back on you. “Are you okay?”

You cock your head to the side. Are you okay? You let out a laugh and fall into a fit of giggles. “Surprisingly, I survived,” you breathe out through your laughter.

“Are you okay with this?” Sam asks once you sober.

You glance between the two men on either side of you. “I’m really happy, actually. They’re perfect,” you smile and grip Steve’s hand.

Sam glances between the three of you. “As long as you’re happy.”

“Anyway, we were thinking steak for dinner. You hungry?” Bucky asks and grabs Sam’s bag off of his shoulder.

“Starving,” Sam sighs. “Traffic was horrible.”

“Right? Poor kitten’s switch died and she was stuck just listening to us. She’s a fucking saint for that.” You giggle falling into Bucky’s chest.

“I think I fell asleep at some point,” you smile.

“And the room situation has been a nightmare. You don’t mind sleeping on the pull out?” Steve asks leading your brother into the room.

“Let me guess, they were out of three bedrooms and it was the one bed situation and now I have to watch my sister and my two best friends act like mates?”

“Yeah! That’s exactly it, actually,” Steve laughs.

“And we did mate her. You’re pretty good at this, Samuel,” Bucky smirks.

Sam looks between the three of you absolutely dumbfounded. “Alright,” he lets out a shaky exhale. “Give me a few days to adjust to this. Please.”

Bucky grins cheekily. “Should we start calling you brother, yet?”

“What about ‘a few of days’ aren’t you getting, Buck?”

“Your sister’s anything but quiet so you’re gonna hear about it all night,” Steve smirks.

“You know what, I’m just going to get my own room. I don’t wanna hear it.” You giggle softly at your brother’s comment. “Just don’t hurt my sister and you three can do whatever you want.”

“You know we could never, Sammy,” Steve grins.

“At least not in a way she wouldn’t beg for,” Bucky smirks.

“Stop! I told you I don’t wanna hear it. I’m not listening,” Sam calls before grabbing his bag and heading back downstairs.

“Wouldn’t it be funny if the only room left was the one next door?” Steve hums, pulling you closer and resting his chin on your head.

“Or the one we just left,” Bucky muses.

“Fine! I’ll get a different hotel!” Sam groans making you laugh again.

“Be nice, boys. We’ll behave.”

“You have to behave first, kitten,” Steve mutters before pressing a kiss to your temple.

“Definitely staying in a different hotel,” Sam sighs.

“Yeah, whatever,” Bucky smirks. “Like you’ll leave her alone with us for another night. Let’s go get some food.”

Master List

[artists-ally]

{She Gets The Flowers, Right?} Reader x Lucien Vanssera {Pt.2}

Welp. Here we are. Didn't know this was gonna happen. I had ZERO INTENTIONS of writing a part two but I basically got cyber bullied into making another so here ya go fuckers. Someone literally threatened to stop taking their meds so to whoever that was I hope you get to keep your kidney! Enjoy! This part is inspired by this song.

Word Count: 6,111

Warnings: ANGST (yall thought you’re gonna get a happy ending? HAHAHAH) Some pretty negative self talk.

Tagging: @bubybubsters @cyrygher @thelov3lybookworm @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @anuttellaa @lookingforamissingpage @thehighlordishere @crazylokonugget

Summary: In the days and weeks that follow your downfall with Lucien, he has no fucking clue how to go about life without you. He can’t cope. And he desperately wants to fix everything with you.

~~~~~~~

LUCIEN’S POV

I have made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I thought that would be reserved for not being able to protect Jesminda. No. This… this is… I don’t even know.

I’m just standing on the sidewalk, staring at our- her home. At the rustic, auburn door we painted. At its brass knob, at the rusty, creaking hinges that would ring through the house when someone came in. At the little potted plant in the corner, the vines spilling out of it. 

I’ll never be back here again. 

I’ll never get to hear her laugh.

I’ll never get to taste her new recipes.

I will never be able to take all that I said back. That is the most haunting feeling of it all.

I’m an awful person. After all she’s done for me. After saving my life– on more than one occasion– I went and did nothing in return. I gave her nothing for her endless kindness. All I was capable of doing was destroying the one person in my life who has given me everything I’ve ever wanted. 

Unconditionally. She always loved me unconditionally. How could I have been so blind and naive to it? How did I never see it? 

Gods every single time she made me something to eat, a recipe to try… she was basically shoving the bond in my face, hoping I would see it. And I never ever considered it. I was so lost in Elain. Lost in the fact that I finally had feelings for someone after Jesminda… Not once did I think it could be Yn. 

I don’t deserve her. I never did. I was a bitter, rotten shell of a man when she met me. She dragged me by the arms to her house to fix me. She thought I was worthy of being saved when my own father thought the opposite. Yn put me back together. She made me who I am. And this is the thanks I give her?

Elain has said all of ten sentences to me in the past year. I haven’t been able to do anything but replay every single one of them in my head. A thousand times– a hundred thousand times. I wish I couldn’t. It’s exhausting. Constantly thinking of her. But I don’t have a choice. 

I like the feeling of being able to feel again. But at the cost of Yn? At the complete sacrifice of all I’ve known for the past century? My rock? My best friend? Nothing is worth more. 

But it is far too late to do anything about it. I’ve lost her.

I want her back. 

Yn did things to me that no one else could. She just seemed to know when things were wrong. She always knows what to say, when to say it, and how. She never tells you what you want to hear, it’s always what you need. She is the most well rounded person I’ve ever met. She’s never afraid to feel her emotions. 

I envy that skill.

I’ve always hid my feelings deep down. It took years to decipher them again. But it was Yn who made me do it. She always fought for me, fought me for me. Yn never let me do it alone. Refused to, actually. Was there every step of the way and never told me I was taking too long or wasting her time. 

I get it now.

And there is nothing I can do. I have nowhere to go. Tears scald my eyes as I trudge down the little path that we beat into the grass. Day in and day out. 

I remember when we picked this place. We had only been in Velaris for a week or two when we stumbled across it. It was run down and needed a new roof. As a thank you for keeping Feyre safe on our journey across the Courts, Rhysand gifted it to us. Complete with a new roof, new furniture, a new kitchen for Yn to cook in. And he let us be. Well, let her be. I still had my debts to pay off. 

And then I met Elain and… fuck. Everything went to shit after that. 

There is no way of processing all of these emotions at once. These very real feelings I still have for Elain. And these all-of-a-sudden very fucking real feelings I now have for Yn. It’s how I imagine imploding feels like. My body wants to cave into itself and never fold back out. 

I pray to the Cauldron that I do self destruct. This feeling, a mixture between irrational rage and betrayal… I don’t wish it upon another living soul. And Gods know I’d sell mine to change everything I’ve just done. 

I don’t even know how I ended up at the Town House. All of a sudden I was just standing in front of it. I normally resent coming here, but for some reason I was relieved to see the bricks and busted up cobblestone sidewalk. Maybe no one would be here; Rhys was more often than not at the River House with Feyre and Nyx, indulging in the life of parenthood. Nesta and Cassian were probably somewhere in the House of Wind with Elain, Mor at Rita’s, Amren with Varian, and who the hell knows where Azriel is.

I can’t wait to be alone to scream. 

Fuck, the door is locked. Of course the door is locked, no one’s here. It takes every bit of control in my shiver-ridden body to not rip the door off its hinges. And it takes even more control to not collapse against the door and break down for the whole street to see. 

The lock clicks and the door opens. 

I force myself to appear relaxed. I wipe my tears and brush away my loose strands of hair. No use. My face is probably as red as the burning self hatred inside my twisted heart. 

“What are you doing here Lucien?” The High Lord asks. 

I gulp. Of all the people, it had to be him? At least it’s not Azriel, I think. I might hate him more than I hate myself. For actually getting Elain’s attention. Yn was right, I am selfish. “Sorry, didn’t realize you were in.”

“Did you leave something?” I don’t move, and I stay deathly still. Rhys looks me head to toe, and I know he can scent me from a mile away. “Lucien, what the fuck did you do?”

“Stay the fuck out of my head,” I snarled, pointing a finger at his chest. 

“I don’t need to read your thoughts. Your face says it all.”  Rhys crosses his arms over his chest, “Look, we’ve all told you that Elain is hard to reach these days. She isn’t worth-”

“This… this doesn’t have anything to do with Elain.” I lied. He seemed to know it. “Can I just come in?”

Rhys just steps aside, shutting the door behind me. “I don’t really have time for-”

“I fucked up.”

“Clearly.”

“Rhysand,” I said. So full of disgust. He looked at me with a blank expression. One I have seen too many times to not know what comes next. I eased up my tone. “Is anyone else here?”

“No,” he answers, moving around me and heading into a study on the other side of the living room. 

I can’t help but think of how we all gathered in that living room a few months ago for Solstice. Exchanging gifts and drinks and smiles and stories. I vividly remember making Yn laugh so hard she tipped her head over the arm of the couch, sending her wine tumbling to the ground. The stain still on the small rug almost makes me smile, and it almost makes me burst into tears. 

“I ruined everything in my life. Yn’s gone.” I could feel the air freeze around me. “Not like, gone gone but she’s… I don’t think I’ll ever be seeing her again.”

“So this is because of Elain.”

I bit my tongue so hard I thought I’d bite it off completely. But I sighed, the tears coming with it. “Yes.” A really long pause. “She told me I’m-”

“You’re Yn’s mate?”

“Yes.”

“And you never knew because you were so focused on Elain.” “Is that supposed to be a question?”

“It was, but you just gave me your answer,” Rhys sat. “Do you want me to keep guessing or are you going to tell me what happened?”

I took the biggest breath I could, steading my words. “I missed the opening of her restaurant because I was with Elain.”

Rhysand looked at me with such revulsion that I thought he might put me through a wall. Those wicked, violet eyes could’ve boiled my bones. For a split second I wished he would. I could tell he wanted to say something, but I don’t think there were enough words in the world for how much of an awful person I was. 

“There are things in this world that we sacrifice in this world Lucien,” Rhys said.

Hesitantly, “I know.” 

“And Yn gave up the biggest of them all. She shut her mouth to let you be happy. She did what I did for Feyre until she realized what situation she was in. You are one spineless bastard for doing anything but giving your life to her.”

“I know.”

“Have you any idea what you’ve done to her? She gave you everything you could ever ask for. From the moment the two of you stepped in my Court I could tell she only had eyes for you. When you are in the room you’re the only one she looks at. How could you have not known?”

“I don’t know…” “Yes, you do.”

I plunged my nails into my palms. “For Cauldron's sake Rhysand of course I know.”

“Then why did you continue to ignore Yn?”

“Because I couldn’t ever let myself think a female like her would like such a broken, dismantled and lost soul like mine.” Rhysand stared at me. “When Yn pulled me from the border to fix me, she spent every waking moment of her life stringing my mind and body into one piece. If I let myself think for even a second that it was anything other than kindness, I would’ve gone mad.”

“Would it have been so terrible to love her?”

“I’ve always loved her. I just never thought I’d be allowed to love her the way she loves me.”

“Because of Elain?” “Because of Elain.”

Rhys blew out a breath, sitting down on the corner of his desk. “So, let me see if I have all of this correct. You wouldn’t let yourself fall for Yn because you thought you were unworthy. Instead, you sabotaged both of your happiness for Elain simply because she was your mate and you just wanted to feel something?”

“It sounds so much more fucked when you say it outloud.” I rubbed my hands over my tired, burning eyes. “And it’s not just because she’s my mate, Rhys. I genuinely like her. She’s… she has the potential to be so sweet. I’ve seen glimpses of it, heard stories from Feyre and Nesta. Why won’t she let me see?”

“You are still clueless, aren’t you?” He scoffed. “Here you are, a ruined man because you drove away your best friend, and you’re still worried about someone who doesn’t want you. Pathetic. You are a selfish son of a bitch.”

“I can’t just ignore Elain. It’s impossible to think of anything else but her and how I can help her.” “Lucien,” Rhysand stopped me from going on another tangent. “Maybe start considering that she doesn’t want you.”

“What?” My lip trembled. “N-No she… we have a bond. It’s there she just needs time. I’m her mate, she’ll want one eventually.”

“Just like Yn will want one?” His eyes were as viscous as the tone of his voice. “You are doing the same thing to Yn that Elain is doing to you. You understand how that feels. Now imagine that Elain was the one you found on the border of the Spring Court and you spent decades nursing her mind back into her body. Recreating her personality and passions. Wouldn’t you be a little fucking irate if she started showing interest in another male after all you did for her?”

I froze.

This was so much deeper than I ever thought it could be. But I could see it. Bringing Elain back to herself all for it to be thrown away by another male. Azriel filled that roll, and I was filled with raw fury at the mere thought of that happening. 

“So now you see what Yn has been dealing with. And Gods, Lucien, she has been dealing with it for a long while. What you did was wrong, unjust, and unfair. And for you to be with Elain on the day of her grand opening, where all of us just were, is… that may be unforgivable.”

“I don’t deserve to be forgiven for what I’ve just done…”

My shoulder hunch, and my chest cracks. I am a bleeding mess of tears. I can barely stand as I openly sob in front of Rhys. I’m surprised when he shoves a chair under me instead of letting me crumble to the floor in my self induced agony. And I’m even more surprised when he puts a hand on my shoulder. 

It’s Yn. It’s always been Yn. There is nothing in this world that can compare to her or her kindness or her love. What a fool I have been to not take the hand that was given me. What a selfish, self-serving waste of a man I have been to her. 

I can’t take it. I have to have her back. I have to fix this. I have to. I have to. I have to. 

I stand. “Woah, what are you doing?” Rhys tried to get me to sit down. 

“Yn- I have to fix this with Yn-”

“No,” Rhys slams me back into the chair. “You are not going to march back over there.”

“I have to,” I yelled. “I can’t let her kick me out without her knowing that I’m sorry. That I’ll do anything she wants me to to win her back. I can’t be without her, I need her.”

“She kicked you out?” I nodded. “You’re not going anywhere. She clearly doesn’t want to see you. Nothing you could say to her would suffice. Especially right now. She needs time. She needs space. If I find out that you go back to your- her house, I’ll drop you back in the Spring Court, do you understand me?”

I nod viciously. 

“Good,” Rhys let out a heavy breath. “You can have your old room back. Nothing in it but a few storage boxes. Everything is otherwise untouched.” Great. My old memories to haunt me. Just what I needed. For a very short week we stayed here. Yn’s room was right across from mine. Just another reminder of everything that’s happened between now and then. 

I slump in the seat, letting tears trickle down my nose and onto my knee. Watching them evaporate and dry, just for the material to be soaked again. “I’m so sorry Yn…”

I heard Rhys whirl around, and I could feel the tension across the room. He probably thinks I’m mad. I might as well be. 

More footsteps sounded than people in the house and Cassian walked in the room. Luckily I was facing away from him. “Don’t tell me he’s a part of our special detachment.”

I rolled my eyes. Cassian, ever the charming.

“No, he’s… well, he’ll be living here for a little while.”

“Do I wanna know?”

“It’s none of your business,” I snapped. No one spoke. I sighed for what felt like the billionth time today. “Sorry.”

“What happened?” Cassian asked, coming to stand next to me, his body reeking of sweat and dirt. All I had to do was lift my head and I think he understood enough. That or Rhys told him. “I won’t say anything cause I’ll probably just make it worse.”

“Probably,” Rhys nodded. 

“Probably.” My eyes burned, so did my skin. “I have to get all my stuff out tomorrow. She told me to.”

“Then you’ll do it tomorrow. Not tonight, tomorrow. Respect her wishes, or I will make you.”

“I heard you the first time.”

“We’ll be back,” Rhys grabbed a few things from his desk then ushered Cassian out the door. “Don’t do anything. Just stay here.”

It could’ve been twenty minutes or two hours until I finally moved upstairs. Forcing myself to not go to Yn’s room was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. All the conversations we had, all the plans we made. It’s where she first got the idea of her restaurant. She literally had a dream and made it a reality. 

I’d be lying if I said I told her how proud of her I was. I never have. Why have I never told her that? Could I really have been that caught up in Elain that… Wow. It’s funny how you only realize after the fact. 

My bed caught me as I collapsed into it, tucking my knees into my chest. I am such a loser. Pathetic. Just like Rhys said. My heart would burn up and die at this rate. It was a mystery how I hadn’t burst into flames yet. 

There are so many things I need, and Yn takes the top of the list. She had always been everything I needed. When I needed comfort, I went to Yn. When I needed solutions, I went to Yn. When I needed answers, to be heard, to be validated, to be loved… who was I supposed to go to now? Definitely not Rhys or Cassian, and certainly not Elain.

Maybe for the first time ever I wanted nothing to do with Elain. I didn’t want to see her. I couldn’t care less if I ever saw her again. Her presence in my life has done nothing but tear my other relationships apart. 

She’s the reason I’m here in this mess.

_____

At some ridiculous hour of the night– morning? Is that the sun?– I heard the door open. I shot up, then deflated down. I wasn’t in my bed. I wasn’t at home. And that wasn’t Yn walking in the door. 

Every thought and emotion rushed back into my head, creating an endless tangle of thoughts. The next more horrid and self destructive than the last. I deserve it. 

Missing the opening of her restaurant, Latibule–an ancient word for refuge or safe place–was the biggest mistake of my life. I will never be able to make that up to her. I turned her biggest accomplishment into a slimy, diseased memory. I ruined what was supposed to be the best night of her life.

I’ve let her down in a way I’ll never be able to repair. 

Even Rhys and Feyre were there last night. And I wasn’t. Nesta and Cassian. Azriel, Amren, Mor… they were all there, supporting her. And I was with Elain. She probably wanted to go, and I was there, holding her back. 

I need to get out of this room before it crushes me whole.

I could see the sun just barely peeking over the Sidra when I stepped outside, cloak wrapped tightly around my head and shoulders to keep out the early morning bite. 

There wasn’t a soul around, Velaris still blissfully asleep besides this one small corner store that sold hot tea and pastries all hours of the day. Rustling in my pocket was just enough for a peach turnover and a cherry blossom tea. 

The bell chimed above the door as I walked in, knocking my boots against the step to not track dirt in. 

“Early start to the day, Luc?” Ms. Immy smiled from behind the counter, polishing a few mugs before moving to come to the display case, packed full of delicious goods, savory and sweet. 

“Unfortunately,” I sighed. “Couldn’t really sleep.”

“Well I am glad to have you in, the usual?”

“That would be great, Ms. Immy.” 

The lovely owner of the bakery was Ms. Immy. One of the older members of the Night Court but as wise as they come. She’s the kindest, most gentle fae to roam Prythian. With her soft, sage green eyes and long, slender ears adorn with piercings, Ms. Immy was by far one of my favorites here. 

The kettles whistled behind her as she dipped a tea bag into my mug. Ms. Immy always had designated mugs for her regular customers. Mine was made of green clay, mostly green with a white oval on the front with two lines of flowers. In the center of it all was a simple fox. She once told me that I had the spirit of one of those extinct creatures in the human lands. That I was reserved, and at my core I fiercely protected those I cared about.

If only I had been able to protect Yn from myself.

Her mug had been one crafted of the moon and the stars. With all the constellations of the Gods being lifted into the air by the magic of the Cauldron. Ms. Immy had told her it was a visual representation that Yn was a great reminder of the past to the current world. That she was lost art that was to never be forgotten. 

There is nothing I want more than for the rest of the world to be loved as fiercely as she had loved me.

“Here is your tea, Lucien,” Ms. Immy set the mug on the counter, pushing up the glass case and plucking a peach turnover out. “And for you as well.”

“Thank you,” I tried to smile. I stared at the blackberry tart next to the peach turnovers. Yn’s go-to. It made my blood run cold. 

I put the coins in her hand before I could begin to cry again and scooted out the door as another person was coming in. 

The table and chairs outside were hard and covered in a light mist. It creaked as I sat, just as it always did. I should've sat anywhere else, but my body naturally drifted to this exact spot. It had a good view of the street so Yn and I could watch the people walk by. Pretending we know every bit of their personal lives and beyond. Make up extravagant stories and adventures for the most boring looking individuals in hopes they may one day get to go on them in another lifetime. 

Gods she is everywhere. She’s in the tavern across the street, in the stones on the ground that we used to kick on our walks. She’s in the sunrise, the same color of her heated cheeks filling the sky. There is no escaping what used to be my whole world. 

Silently, I let a few tears roll down my cheeks. I ought to be ashamed of showing so much emotion in public, but for some reason I can’t find the will to care. 

The door chimes and footsteps go back down the street. The door chimes again. 

“My fox boy,” Ms. Immy says so softly I almost don’t hear it over the roar in my ears. “What troubles you so badly you can’t sleep?”

I bite my lip to keep from making any embarrassing noises. “I don’t know how to fix something that I’ve done.”

“You missed the opening of Yn’s restaurant.” She says. 

I nod. “How did you know?”

“Because I did not see you there, fox boy.”

“She kicked me out, Ms. Immy. I deserved it, every bit of what she said was true.”

“I think that is true, Lucien,” Ms. Immy came and sat in Yn’s spot, folding her hands in her lap, letting out a breath of air as she extended her old, feeble legs. “Nobody is happy with what you’ve done but-”

“I didn’t mean to blow her off Ms. Immy I just-”

“But,” she cuts me off with a pointed look. “I think you are a very lost soul. For the first time in your life you are truly free. No High Lord to obey, no throne to fight for, no war to fight in. Just a High Lord to serve and to respect. You have everything you could ask for, and yet you have no idea what to do with it.”

She’s right. She’s always right. “I want to fix it. I have to.”

“I am afraid that may not be what the spirit of the Gods wants.” Why is it that I get called fox boy and Yn get’s called something as majestic as ‘spirit of the Gods’? “If those are her wishes, you are going to respect them. Eternally.”

“I will go mad. If I don’t have her by my side for the rest of my life I will go mad.” “So you share a bond with her as well?” She asks. 

“I don’t know. All I do is that I haven’t stopped crying and shaking at every reminder of her. No matter how small. Life without her in it is meaningless to me. Afterall, she is the one who gave it back to me.”

“And a good job she did, fox boy,” Ms. Immy smiled softly. “You are a good male who has been blinded by instincts. While it is not your fault, it has become your problem. And by the looks of you, it seems like it has become quite the ordeal.”

My shoulders dropped as I put my head in my palms. I breathed. “I don’t know how to function without her. She has been there, every day of my life, for nearly seventy years, Ms. Immy. We did everything together. Our mornings were spent as one, our evenings, all the restaurant planning and-and brunches here with you-”

“Breathe, Lucien-”

“How am I supposed to just pack up my things today and move on? H-How am I supposed to just carry on as if she never existed in my life? The thought of not being able to see her every day makes me want to peel the skin off my flesh.”

Ms. Immy looked at me, the hard lines in her face becoming more defined. “Listen to me very carefully, fox boy. What’s done is done. You cannot go back in time and take back what you said. The worst of it is over. Now comes the long process of trying to piece your life together. Whether Yn will be able to help you will depend on what you decide to do in the next several days. If you follow her wishes of moving out and staying clear, there could be a chance in the future. But, if you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope.”

If you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope… Words have never stunned me quite as forcefully as Ms. Immy’s had. The true gravity of the situation has set in, if it hadn’t already. One wrong move and she’s gone. For good.

“There is a reason why you are my little fox, Lucien,” Ms. Immy stood, taking my cold mug that I hadn’t touched. “They were intelligent, cunning creatures, just as you are. Do not let your instincts guide you to a decision. Let your heart and the facts do it for you.”

“The facts? What facts?” “The fact that you have screwed up. The fact that Yn has made a decision for you since you were incapable of doing it yourself. It is truth, and it hurts, but it has to for change to come.” And then she went inside. 

I sat with those final words for far longer than I anticipated. It was long enough for people to begin leaving their homes, the streets beginning to fill with people. 

Yn would be out of the house by now, opening for the restaurant’s breakfast hours. I could go now. Or I could stay here and try to blend into the hundreds of faces passing in and out. But I need to move. Yn might come in for her apple cider and blackberry tart. If I saw her right now I’d surely do something stupid. 

As I walked, the clouds blocked out the sun and it began to drizzle. The drizzle turned into a steady rain, then a downpour. I was soaked through my cloak and boots, water seeping in and out with every step. My hair stuck to the back of my neck. 

I kept my head down as I walked, afraid of being recognized. If Ms. Immy had been there to not see me at Latibule, who else? 

The cobblestone ended and mud replaced it. I knew where I was.

The old, beaten path dared me to go up to the house. It beckoned me. From here, at the bottom of the hill, I could see several boxes stacked up outside the door, the disposable brown material soaked through with the rain. She was serious…

Some part of me– the extremely selfish part– has been secretly hoping that she’ll tell me she made a mistake and that she wants me back. But I think those boxes are a not-so-gentle-shove in the opposite direction. 

The key in my pocket might as well have been the key to another universe, because when I opened the door it was like I entered a whole new world. One without me in it. All the pictures of us, all the paintings Feyre had done for us, were off the walls. All the plants and trinkets and decorations I gifter here were piled in the corner for me to collect.

How could so much damage have been done in just a few hours? 

One by one, I packed away the things into the soggy boxes. I moved from room to room. Silently. Hoping this was all a dream only to be launched back into reality with every memory that surfaced. Every possession I had given her in the last seventy years was piled here for me to take. 

She wanted no trace of me here. And I didn’t blame her. I don’t want any trace of me either. 

I must’ve stayed there for hours– crying, packing, reliving moments I had long forgotten only to cry again– because it was close to sunset now. Every trace of me was packed up; all those pictures, all those trinkets, all my clothes and bathing goods… everything I owned fit into these boxes. Everything except for the one person I didn’t want to do life without. 

But Rhys and Ms. Immy are right. If I try to do something now, to get her back, I’ll ruin any real chance. That is something I can’t afford. 

To an immortal, a few months or years equivalates to just a few minutes of human life. But if it takes years for Yn to accept me back in her life…

Besides the clothes and membranes from the Autumn and Spring Courts, I discard everything. I will tear myself to bits if I don’t get rid of them. Will I regret it down the road, probably, but I can’t have them. 

The two boxes and bag of clothes I carry from her house to the Town House are water logged and falling apart. It’s a miracle they didn’t unravel completely. Just add more humiliation to a High Lords son dragging boxes and bags through the street. I deserve all the stare’s and hushed questions. 

Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sights of Rhys and Cassian helping me carry them up the stairs. 

“I don’t know how you’re feeling but-”

“Don’t,” I pleaded. “Just… just don’t. I don’t want your pity, Cassian.”

“I am probably the last person besides Azriel who would pity you, Lucien. And I had no intentions to belittle you for what you did. I was going to offer you a spot in my training ring if you ever needed an escape.”

His kindness shocked me. I can’t say I know the Illyrian well, but this gesture spoke a lot to his character. So I sighed, of course I thought he was going to be hostile to me. Everyone should. “Oh.”

“Training starts at eight and goes to one. Come well fed and in something warm. The top of the House is colder.”

Neither of us said anything else as he left me to unpack.

______

Some weeks later I had taken Cassian up on his offer. Him and Nesta were great at kicking my ass and telling me about it. This side of both of them was far different than the ones I had seen. Here, Cassian wasn’t a prick. He was an instructor, teaching me how to defend my life and my honor. Nesta was… less Nesat. She channeled this otherworldly presence and became one with her weapon.

Me on the other hand… it was far more difficult. Fighting and battle wasn’t rooted in my blood like it was for Cassian. It was much harder for me to get it but I sorta did. Sorta. 

“Just keep working on that footwork and it’ll help with the sword placement. If you’re solid by the end of the week, I’ll put a real one in your hands,” Cassian grinned, chucking me my practice weapon. 

It brought a quick smile to my face. As fast as it was there it was gone. Like most these days. 

When I got home, I rifled through my closet. Brown and green and cream colored shirts after another. Where was that Night Court Blue one I had gotten a long time ago? I could’ve sworn I plucked it from the pile on the floor- no, that was a towel. I was planning on wearing it to dinner at the River House tonight for Mor’s birthday.

Oh, Yn has it. I had given it to her to wear for a meeting with a realtor when looking at properties. She had tucked it into this black leather skirt.

I’ll swing by on my way to the party to get it. Mor always liked the color on me, and said it brought out the fire in my hair. She’ll appreciate the gesture.

After a shower and some other outfit choices, I can’t help but want that blue shirt. I’ll just go get it.

Through the falling leaves, I make my way down the street, across it, and to the meadow. There are six or seven houses with smoke billowing out of their chimneys. But there, right in the distance, is her house. She’ll be at her restaurant tonight so I know I’m safe. 

I scurry up the path, still worried about being seen for some reason. 

Has it been easy these past couple weeks? No. I haven’t been able to think of anything but her. Or dream of anything but her. It’s awful. Not her, but the fact that somehow, someway, she is still everywhere I am. In those memories in the darkest part of the night. The darkest part of my mind reserved for her and her only. 

I hadn’t dared to go visit Elain. I don’t feel the need anymore. Which is relieving and frightening at the same time. It’s like there is a gaping hole in my heart that nothing will fill. Not even training. It proves a good secondary distraction, but nothing can suppress the primary guilt I feel every waking–

What is that smell? I stopped just shy of the door, key in hand. It wants to smell like the rest of the smoke and ash wafting into the air from the nearby cabins, but it’s… more alive? What if she left the stove on? Or a candle? There are hints of woods mixed into it, but not the type of woodsy scent from pine or maple logs. 

I jam the key in as fast as I can to unlock the door. What if she left the fireplace burning or had an electrical fire or-

In the span of five seconds, three things happened. One: Yn was here. And she looked so beautiful. Her eyes are bright and full of color. Two: she was being held by someone, his hands on her cheeks. Three: boiling rage shot through when I realized who it was.

Eris.

~~~~~~~~~

Part 3

[callsign-venus]

I'll Be Home for Christmas | Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Description: With Bradley on deployment, you don't find the Christmas season as cheery as usual. The Daggers make it their mission to help you get into the holiday spirit. Cue intensely competitive gingerbread house decorating competition.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Fluff with a teeny dash of angst. Drinking. That’s pretty much it. Really just self-indulgent, friendship-heavy fluff with lots of pining. Enjoy x

Nat King Cole’s voice dances out of your record player has you put the finishing touches on your cranberry Aperol spritzes. Their cherry warm color makes you smile despite yourself. 

You have always loved Christmas, but this year it hits you like a truck – and not even one with a tree strapped on top. All the little traditions that usually warm your heart with holiday cheer feel just plain sad to do alone. You had a tremendous battle with your artificial tree, which fell on you twice. You were proud of yourself for not crying, and in the end you were able to admire all of its eight feet of glory. Then you remembered you had to light the whole thing. Two hours later, you had undone no less than three tangles of light strands, found out two of them were dead (and all your untangling had been for nothing), and had one big cry fest for yourself. Not even a steaming cup of cocoa made you feel better after that disaster.

Wrapping presents for your friends and family, rewatching all your favorite Christmas movies, and driving around rich people neighborhoods to admire their lights hadn’t gone as poorly, but they all made his absence grow harder to ignore.

When Bradley told you his deployment would last through the holidays, you struggled to keep your disappointment to yourself, though you’re sure he could see it shining in your eyes. As much as you would miss him during the holidays, you knew it was worse for him, with only emails and skype calls for comfort – no silly little Christmas rituals to occupy his mind.

“You need help in here?” Natasha’s voice jolts you out of your pity-party spiral.

“No, I just got distracted,” you say, scooping up two of the spritzes and offering her one. “Let’s get this party started.”

Phoenix smiles and accepts your cocktail. She herself had just gotten back from her own deployment, and pretty immediately sensed your holiday ennui. She was the one who suggested this festive evening, and you’ve never been more grateful for her friendship.

While you were listless in the kitchen, she had assembled the most perfect gingerbread house making station you’d ever seen: frosting packed into several near-bursting bags, candy canes arranged in perfect rows, gumdrops with a shimmering dusting of sugar, and a scattering of gingerbread roofs and walls waiting patiently to be dressed.

“Wow, Nat, this looks great.”

“Thank you. I’m sure the boys will mess it up in three seconds flat, but at least you appreciate it.”

As if on cue, your front door bursts open, and a clot of merrily dressed sailors spills into your home, arms stacked with presents for Secret Santa. You point to the open space under the Christmas tree, and quickly your and Natasha’s presents are joined by all the others.

After the presents are unloaded, you and Phoenix are engulfed in hugs. Fanboy is wearing a Santa hat, and he has two in hand that he passes to you and Phoenix, insisting that you put them on right now. You happily oblige, as you’re inching closer to how you usually feel during the holidays now that you’re surrounded by friends. Even Jake is cheery, having rocked up in an ugly Christmas sweater covered with bows and tinsel, which is bizarre yet comforting. You do your best not to think about the person you wish was here most, as the Daggers seem dead set to help you have a great Christmas despite his absence.

“This is for you, our gracious host.” Bob hands you a potted poinsettia. “Thanks for putting up with us.”

“It’s really no problem,” you insist as you place the flowers on the side table by your couch. “I love you all.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “Still, we’re a lot, I know.”

He’s not wrong – Coyote and Payback have already found the spritzes and Fanboy’s popped three gumdrops into his mouth – but you don’t mind. Even when the gingerbread house decorating competition starts. Calling it a competition might be an understatement. The Daggers are more than competitive, especially about inconsequential things. Nobody speaks as they draft their houses in bright white icing and stud them with decorative candies. The only way to get them to quiet is through arts and crafts, you muse as you decorate your house with swirls of icing like snow drifts and tiny snowflakes dotting the roof and walls. 

The sabotage begins early, when Hangman reaches for a bowl of peppermints and not-so-subtly brushes his hand over Phoenix's roof, smearing the frosting.

“Hey asshole,” Natasha says. “That’s my house.”

“Oh really? Looks like you got a little smear there.” Jake slides a finger across Phoenix’s carefully piped shingles, messing up her roof even more.

“You’re a dead man, Seresin.” Nat narrows her eyes. She won’t go for Jake’s gingerbread house, she’ll bide her time. You’re glad you’re not Hangman right now.

“Got anymore spritzes?” Coyote asks you.

You nod your head. “In the kitchen, help yourself.”

When Coyote gets up to refill his glass, Fanboy snatches his piping bag and swaps it for his almost empty one. While Fanboy’s distracted, Payback helps himself to the pile of Twizzlers Fanboy’s been hoarding since the beginning of the competition.

“Who is even going to judge these?” You ask almost absentmindedly as you stand a gingerbread couple together at the door of their house with copious amounts of frosting. “We all know whose house is whose.”

There’s a smattering of laughter.

“We’ll figure it out after Secret Santa,” Nat assures you as she completes the retiling of her roof, the eaves perfectly punctuated with peppermints.

Before you can question the logic of that solution, Bob asks for your opinion on colored versus strictly green and red gum drops.

“Hey, no helping the competition,” Fanboy complains.

“What?” You level a heavy gaze on him. “Scared you won’t win if Bob and I combine forces? I would be.”

“I’m just saying, this should be a fair contest,” he says.

You shrug him off and answer Bob, but in the spirit of sabotage, you neglect to tell him about the frosting dried on his cheek.

Even though you’re risking your gingerbread house’s safety, once you’ve finished, you slip into the hall. You refresh your inbox on your phone, and you smile as you see an email from Bradley.

Subject: Miss you

Hey pretty girl. Been missing you all day today. Wish I was there to hang stockings and give you the best mistletoe kiss the world’s ever seen. Don’t forget to hang it – you can leave it up until I get back. Don’t have a lot of time, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you and I can’t wait to come home to you.

Your heart flutters, as it always does when you get an email from him. You quickly type out a response.

Subject: Miss you more

Hey hot stuff. I’ve already hung the mistletoe and have no plans to take it down until you make me see stars under it. I miss doing holiday things with you (you really know how to wrangle the tree), but Nat especially has been helping me through it. Still, I really miss you. All I need is your arms around me and everything will feel right again. Can’t wait to see you again.

You press send and sigh. You never want to complain – it’s Bradley who had to live on an aircraft carrier for months at a time – but sometimes it feels so unfair for two people to be so in love and yet spend the holidays all alone.

You give yourself a moment to collect yourself before you go back to the increasingly hostile competition. Jake has icing in his hair – you know Phoenix is responsible, but her wrath won’t end there – and Payback’s house had a giant fist-sized crater in the roof. Surely unrelated, Coyote’s knuckles are dusted with gingerbread crumbs. You couldn’t help the smile the chaotic scene pulled from you. Especially since your gingerbread house remains in pristine condition.

You thank Nat for watching over it, and she responds with a bright smile. “No problem, I can’t have the boys messing up your Christmas celebration.”

“Hey!” All the boys except Bob protest in unison. Phoenix raises her brows, point proven.

Once all of the gingerbread houses are complete and aligned in a row like a candied neighborhood block, the party shifts toward the Christmas tree. Bob distributes presents to each of you. Yours is an envelope, and you know it is from Nat. Your name is written on the thick, cream paper in Nat’s graceful script, which you know like your own after years of friendship.

“No one can beat my present,” Nat boasts as she catches you studying the envelope.

“Oh we’ll see,” Coyote says.

You swallow down a little lump, seeing everyone around the tree without Rooster. Though you love and appreciate your friends, the emptiness of his presence is almost smothering.

Your mood warms when Jake volunteers to go first. You’re his Secret Santa, and just as you predicted, he loves the smartphone-controlled paper airplane you got for him. He opens it and has it folded  in a matter of seconds. He syncs it to his phone, and his first flight ends with the plane crashing into Coyote’s head.

“Durable.” Hangman remarks as he picks up the paper airplane, which holds its shape just fine.

“Asshole.” Coyote replies.

Payback is next, and he gets a bottle of scotch from Jake. You don’t know much about scotch, but from Payback’s reaction, you can tell it’s a really nice bottle.

Coyote gets Bob a navy Aran sweater, which Bob wastes no time throwing on.

“Feel how soft!” Bob says as he smothers Coyote in a hug. Cue three minutes of Bob inviting everyone to touch his sweater – you can’t blame him, though, it is really soft.

Bob’s gift to Coyote makes you wonder how Nat is going to top it. Bob made a crochet version of Taffy, Coyote’s miniature pinscher. 

“Thank you, I love it.” Coyote cradles the crocheted dog tight, and you wonder if you’re just imagining the tremble in his voice or if he’s actually about to cry.

“Come on Javy,” Jake says, “don’t go all soft now.”

Fanboy gets a countertop pizza oven from Payback, which instantly becomes one of his most prized possessions based on the sheer amount of pizza he consumes.

“Thanks, man.” He gives Payback a friendly punch on the arm. “You all have to come over for pizza night.”

You all hum in agreement. Fanboy’s pizzas are amazing, and you wouldn’t mind spending another night with everyone together. Well, almost everyone. You swallow down the lump in your throat.

Phoenix opens her gift from Fanboy slowly, as if she’s afraid of its contents. She peels back the shiny green paper to reveal a charcuterie board and a set of cheese knives with wooden handles that match the board. She hugs it close to her chest and mouths thank you across the room to Fanboy, who doesn’t notice because he’s reading the pizza recipe included with his oven.

Finally it is your turn. All eyes in the room land on you, strangely sober despite the freely flowing spritzes. You give Phoenix a quick glance as you slide a finger under the flap of the envelope, but her expression is unreadable.

“It's a…” you say as your fingers graze a satiny band of fabric. “Blindfold?”

You hold it up for everyone to see. Everyone’s expressions are carefully arranged to not convey anything. Not quite the laughter you were expecting. A sense of uneasiness blooms in your stomach.

Nat stands up and takes the blindfold out of your hands. Quicker than you can think, she’s tying it around your head.

“What is going on?” You ask.

She finishes the bow and pats your shoulder. “Just you wait.”

A few suppressed snickers fill the room and make your uneasiness melt into dread. The gentle shush of a door opening and closing makes it worse.

“I swear, if you guys are ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas-ing’ me right now I will be so angry.”

The silence that falls after you speak is so, so loud. No one turned the record, so even Nat King Cole is quiet. But then you hear it. It’s hard to explain, but you’d know that breathing anywhere. You’d spent many nights falling asleep to that gentle lullaby or hearing it as he held you close in the kitchen, neither of you caring that dinner was burning on the stove.

You rip off the blindfold, and there he is. Bradley. Bradley. Standing next to your Christmas tree, a bow tied around his chest. The Daggers surround him like magician’s assistants, all their hands raised in a sort of ta-da manner.

You leap off the couch and into his waiting arms. He smells like an aircraft carrier and shitty coffee, his clothes rough and government-issued, and his hair cropped a little too close to his head than you know he likes – but he’s yours. He’s yours in the way his embrace consumes you, blurring the line between you and him, erasing the months and miles of distance between the two of you. He’s yours in the way the beat of his heart drums in rhythm with your own. Yours in the way that you are his as well. He lifts you up so your feet dance in the air, pressing kisses to the top of your head.

He sets you down and crashes his lips into yours. He slips his tongue into your mouth unabashedly, and despite your audience, you let him. The kiss is long enough that you start to feel bad for everyone else, so you sheepishly pull away.

“Goddamn, Rooster,” Hangman says, “let the girl breathe.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waves the comment away.

But you don’t want to breathe. Not if your other option is to kiss Bradley until you’re both oxygen starved. Because you’re starved for him, need to feed on his presence. 

Then the realization sets in. Rooster is supposed to be deployed for another month. You wheel around to face Nat. “How the hell did you do this?”

She shrugs. “Loverboy emailed me last week, just after I got home from my deployment. Said he was coming home earlier than expected, and he wanted to surprise you.”

“Wait, so all of you knew?” You pointedly look at everyone, but nobody can quite keep eye contact with you.

Bradley wraps an arm around your waist. “They all did pretty good keeping it under wraps, huh?”

“I would hope so, given our clearance levels,” Jake says.

Everyone laughs, but you’re still reeling. You can’t believe Bradley is here. His calloused fingers rubbing the skin of your back, just under the hem of your shirt. His gentle laugh reverberating against your body, reminding you what wholeness feels like. His lips, slightly chapped (with none of your chapstick to steal on the carrier), murmuring into your hair. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but you know what he means nonetheless.

You’d imagined Bradley’s homecoming as a flurry of ripped clothes, bruising kisses, and mutual insatiable hunger, but this is better. All of your friends in the same room, sharing in this festive homecoming, looking like absolute dorks. Fanboy’s Santa hat sits askew on his head. Payback and Coyote are obviously drunk off their asses (they definitely pregamed the festivities, as Payback has been reduced to giggles and Coyote has actual tears streaming down his face). Jake has yet to realize the frosting in his hair, Bob the frosting on his face. And Natasha is a dork by association. You and Bradley too. But the overwhelming love in the room makes you want to sob happy tears.

Bradley happily indulges you all in judging the gingerbread houses. He gets down to eye level with each entry, runs his fingers along the roofs, occasionally snaps off a piece of candy and pops it in his mouth.

“Very good job, everyone.” He speaks to the group as if you’re all kindergartners, reveling in the building anticipation. There’s never a prize for Dagger competitions, but there doesn’t need to be. Bragging rights is all they need, no matter how menial the situation.

Bradley carefully reshuffles the houses in order from last to first place. Fanbody. Jake. Payback. Coyote. Nat. He purposefully shields first and second place. Only you and Bob are left – maybe the least competitive people in the room – and still, tension is thick in the air.

“And the winner…” Bradley’s voice booms like an old-fashioned gameshow host, “...is…”

He finally slides to the side to reveal your house sitting in first place.

Bob sticks his hand up for a high five. Your hands collide with a solid thunk.

 “Not fair,” Fanboy protests. “Rooster’s obviously biased.”

“Come on, he didn’t know whose house was whose,” Phoenix says. “Besides, you weren’t even in the top five, and Payback had a hole in his roof.”

“It’s ok, Nat,” you voice oozes with fake sympathy. “I’d be upset too if I spent so much time on a shit gingerbread house.”

Fanboy’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh you want to play that game?”

He lunges around the table, and you immediately grab Bradley to use as a human shield. 

“Lots of talk from someone who’s gonna hide behind her boyfriend,” he says teasingly.

“I’m not hiding.” You tighten your grip on Bradley’s waist, his hands covering yours. “You can get to me, you’re just gonna have to get through him first.”

Bradley puffs out his chest. “Nobody disparages the gingerbread contest queen. She earned her title by being the best.”

Later, because he can’t keep a secret from you (the only thing that saved the Secret Santa surprise was only being able to communicate through email), Bradley confesses that he knew which house was yours the moment he saw it. But still, that one little detail doesn’t negate the fact that you are the gingerbread contest queen.

And Bradley defends your honor well as you maneuver him from behind to keep a distance between yourself and Fanboy. Eventually, Bob steps in to broker a peace deal to end the conflict. Somehow, you are roped in for bringing more spritzes to Fanboy’s pizza night, but he can no longer dispute the fact that you have the best gingerbread house. A win is a win, and your gloating privileges remain.

Later, when everyone is winding down and glancing at their coats hanging by the door, Bradley pulls you into the kitchen.

“Honey, I think our guests are about to leave.” You try to move back toward the living room, but Bradley keeps hold of your hand. “Please, let’s not be rude.”

He shakes his head. “They’ll understand. They know. They know exactly what it's like.”

You relent because he’s right. Even you don’t know what it’s like. Loneliness has been a long lingering companion of yours, but you suffer her presence at home surrounded by close comforts and your parents a short drive away. For Bradley, for Nat, for Jake, for Bob and all the rest, it’s different. It’s their job. They suffer loneliness with mostly long shifts and shitty food for company. 

So you let Bradley chase out his – and your – loneliness in the kitchen. As he pulls you ever closer, his palms flattening you against him, you wonder how you ever survived apart when it was so clear that your souls were really just one.

You break away panting. God knows how long you were indulging, but you just about jump out of your skin when you realize Phoenix is in the kitchen right behind you, pouring herself a glass of champagne.

Your cheeks warm. “Nat!”

“Sorry, didn’t bother me, so I didn’t want to bother you.” She shrugs. “Want a glass?”

You decline, and you and Bradley shuffle out of the kitchen like teenagers caught in the act. Nearly everyone is shrugging their coats on, chatting about the night, when they catch sight of the two of you.

“Now, just where in the hell did y’all run off to?” Jake prods.

You can’t even look at them.

“Just the kitchen,” Rooster says, locking his hand in yours. “Needed to make sure the champagne was still flowing.”

Everyone shares the same knowing look that makes you want to shove them all out the door. Instead, you and Bradley post up at the door like perfect hosts and thank everyone for coming as they slip into the surprisingly chilly night. Then, only you, Bradley, and Phoenix are left.

While everyone was saying their goodbyes, she was sipping her champagne and quietly wiping sugar, gingerbread crumbs, and crusted frosting off the dining table.

“You bitch,” you say as you swoop in to help her clean up. “How come you didn’t tell me as soon as you found out?”

She laughs and takes another sip of wine. “Why don’t you ask Rooster?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. He sheepishly grins.

“In my defense,” he says, “it was a really good surprise.”

“I can’t believe you two.” You laugh. “But thank you for the surprise. It was wonderful.”

You try to direct your gratitude to them both, but something in Rooster’s expression snags your gaze and won’t let go. There’s still an unsatiated hunger heavy in his eyes.

Nat sets down her now empty glass. “Alright, lovebirds, I’ll take that as my cue to leave.”

She gathers her things, and you walk her to the door.

“Thank you.” You give her a hug. Neither of you are super touchy, but your gratitude for her tonight is almost endless. “Thank you for everything.”

“Don’t mention it.” She squeezes you tight before letting go. “Goodnight, Rooster!”

“Goodnight!” He calls from somewhere deep in the house.

“Sounds like he’s waiting for you,” she winks. “See you soon.”

“Get home safe!”

And with that, it’s just the two of you. You expect Bradley to pounce the second the door closes, but he doesn’t appear as you linger by the doorway. Odd. You check the kitchen, living room, and dining room. All empty.

“Bradley?” You call.

“Right here.”

His response floats from down the hallway, from your bedroom.

And sure enough, there he stands in the doorway. Right under the mistletoe you hung up earlier in the week, the biggest grin on your face when you pictured his homecoming some time after New Years, all the Christmas decorations gone except the lonely mistletoe, waiting patiently for his arrival. But now, you can put the mistletoe to good use while Christmas is still bright on the horizon. The warmth of the season bleeds into the warmth of your kiss. Christmas will come as surely as it would have if Bradley was on deployment, but now you welcome it. You want lazy days sipping eggnog and baking cookies. You want late, festive nights at the Hard Deck with the Daggers, getting into pool competitions with Bradley as your loyal teammate despite how disastrous you are at pool, assured in his easy we-lose-together attitude. You want a Christmas morning with presents that don’t matter because the best gift you could ask for has already appeared right by your tree tonight, wrapped in a bow.

“Don’t leave me ever again,” you whisper against his chest.

“I won’t,” he says, “I won’t.”

You both know it’s not something you can ask of him, not a promise he can keep. It’s not fair to either of you to pretend like this will be his last homecoming, the last time you both are starved of each other for months. But right now, it feels good to pretend.

You can’t think long about his future deployments, however. Your worries melt away as Bradley makes good on his promise to give you the best mistletoe kiss the world’s ever seen.

[mrhyde-mrseek]

Updated altar tour!!!

Hades & Persephone

They share an altar! Not much has changed since i last posted a picture of it except that i added a bracelet, but to recap, they’ve got:

A raven and skull Halloween decoration

A bracelet i made with Hades in mind and hung around the raven’s neck

Red Crowley-ish sunglasses

A candle holder from the thrift store

A stone snake figurine thing

A geode(?)/sparkly rock

A bat plushie (named Marcel the Mycelium Bat by my friend)

A bracelet i made for Persephone and put on the bat

Persephone’s offering bowl, a flowerpot with a crow(?) feather and a (now dead) flower

Vials of fake herbs (another Halloween decoration)

A poison apple spellbook Halloween decoration

A Hadestown magnet

A little red candle

Hades’ offering bowl, a thrifted metal bowl apparently made in 1978 (that’s the date carved on it at least) with crystals, coins, rocks, a key, a silver Beetlejuice bracelet, a button shaped like a cat eye, and a letter in it

Dionysus

Not much has changed since i last showed y’all Dionysus’s altar, but they’ve got:

A satyr statue i made in an art class

A painting with colors i associate with them

A nonbinary flag-colored heart charm

Two pinecones

A big bead with eerily similar colors to the lesbian flag

A bracelet

A gold paper heart a member of my high school a cappella group made me

Two amethyst crystals

My pronoun pin

A purple candle

Athena

Athena’s hasn’t changed much either, but it’s got:

My kindle

My vintage-looking desk light

Its offering bowl, a flower pot shaped like a statue head, with a crow feather, a little turkey feather, a massive turkey tail feather, and a Good Omens pen

A fall-scented candle

A Kamala Harris magnet from The Female Power Project

Two little plastic trophies

A few blue stones

A puzzle

An offering of iced tea & lemonade that Athena didn’t really like but didn’t want me to take it off its altar and still doesn’t (i tried it and it’s really sweet but like in a bad way so i can see why it doesn’t like it lol)

Hermes

Hermes’s altar has some new additions! I mainly got then because i wanna bring something from each altar with me to college that i won’t lose, and since candles aren’t allowed i got him something else, so now he has:

His candle (which I’m still obsessed with)

A wax doll my dad got me from a Voodoo practitioner’s shop on a business trip to New Orleans

A feather

A Newsies keychain

A marble

A tiny rubber duck figurine

Dice

What i think is Dalmatian Jasper but I could be wrong??

A couple more shiny rocks

A bracelet

A couple coins

A brand new statue (which is what I’m bringing to college)!!! It came with what I’m guessing is a little baby Hermes but I don’t really know, and a caduceus that I just realized he can hold

Artemis

Artemis’s hasn’t changed much either, except for a few added trinkets, so right now she has:

A candle

An animal skull-shaped fish tank decoration i got from my friend’s yard sale (coincidentally the same friend who named Marcel the Mycelium Bat)

A silver ring from prom

A few rocks

A little crystal, i think it’s amethyst??

A Totoro figurine

A crescent moon selenite offering bowl

An acorn

A mug inspired by her I made junior year of high school with a crow feather in it

A gold crescent moon charm

Apollo

I haven’t shown Apollo’s altar yet because he’s relatively new to the group of deities i work with/worship! He’s got:

A tall ass candle

A wolf plushie

A rainbow… thing, it’s too big to be a bracelet but too small to be a necklace so it’s his now

A gold plastic coin thing

A fake lavender-looking flower

A glass bauble charm filled with yellow glitter

My tarot cards

An award i got senior year from the music program (I scribbled out my name on the photo)

An HRC water bottle that’s kinda hidden behind the award

A couple rocks

A yellow plastic gummy bear

A squishy yellow unicorn fidget toy

A plastic toy milkshake (he thought it was funny)

Aphrodite

Aphrodite has a couple additions to her altar, too! We’ve got:

A drawing I made for her

A pretty little teal rock

Two shells

A tiny pink candle

A piece of a plastic crown from my high school’s production of Mean Girls last year, I have no idea how i ended up with it but here we are

A thing of blush (rarely used, i thought she might appreciate it more)

Coconut and pear-scented chapstick

A shell kinda shaped like a bowl with a pearly charm, two pink paper stars, and a tiny rose charm in it

Her offering bowl, a teacup, saucer, and spoon shaped like a flower, leaf, and ladybug respectively that was a graduation present from a friend!! While they’re not quite Aphrodite’s style, she still likes them on her altar because they were a symbol of platonic love!!

A bracelet in her offering bowl

[s3thwrit3sstuff]

❝ Line of Sight ❞

poly!Billy Loomis & Stu Macher X easily distracted!reader | fluff | graphic descriptions of violence

Billy and Stu adore their boyfriend, so they keep an eye on him due to the fact that he has this odd but adorable tendency to get...distracted.

#1, PURPLE FLOWERS "D'you believe in past lives?" Billy paused his rummaging and from behind his locker door he peered at his boyfriend, Stu, who was leaning on the row of lockers beside Billy's. "What type of question is that? Ya' been smoking pot again?" his arms, already sore from last night's activities, pinched as he added the weight of the AP Biology textbook among the binders full of notes. He readjusted his grip, shutting the locker as Stu jerked his chin across the hall. Bumping their shoulders together as he mimicked Stu's pose, Billy's gaze followed Stu's to the windows that lead to the school's front yard. There (Y/N) was, knees tucked under him and backpack forgotten by his side with his face in gentle awe at the flowers that had grown near one of the trees. That would explain why you weren't in the hallways like your boyfriends were. You probably were on your way but caught a glimpse of those purple petals and simply could not resist yourself. "I'm guessing that in his past life, he was a puppy" Stu chuckled. "Small attention span, ya' know? Gnawing on your ankles, trippin' over his widdle paws" Billy cocked a brow, a lopsided grin climbing his face at Stu's curled hands swiping at the air - like a puppy, he says. Billy thinks he looks like a lanky mantis shrimp. "Does he know classes are about to start?" he asked and Stu laughed. "S'he look like he does? Come on, let's collect our puppy and send him on his way" he all but cooed. The taller of the two shouldered open the school doors, wincing as he'd inadvertently put pressure on a cut he'd received - also from last night's endeavours. "What d'you think I was in my past life, Billy boy?" he let the question linger in the air as they came up behind (Y/N), who was none the wiser. He never got his answer, not that he minded, because (Y/N) had turned his attention to the murderous duo with a blinding smile that made the sun burn with jealousy as the winds ushered the clouds away like show curtains - it still paled in comparison to (Y/N)’s beauty.

“Classes are about to start” Billy put his back to the tree whilst Stu plopped himself next to (Y/N). “I know” bemoaned (Y/N) “but I saw these and they just reminded me of you two” he presented them with a mice-sized bouquet of fragile, dusty purple flowers with a deep vinyl colour in the centre, and meekly twirled it between his thumb and pointer fingers.

“We aren’t pretty like some dainty flower” Stu plucked it from (Y/N)’s hold, its petals tickling his boyfriend’s cheek as Stu tucked it by his ear. “But I am?” (Y/N) mused, squinting his eyes at Stu. Billy’s touch, which had always been cold, sent shivers as he placed his hand on (Y/N)’s head; “The prettiest little devil we’ve ever met”

The bell rang but the three boys stayed ever so enamoured with each other, more and more flowers decorating each other.

Everyone paid no mind as purple flowers kept falling from (Y/N) as he moved from class to class - though the nickname flower boy persisted for a few weeks despite how uncreative it was. (Y/N)’s boyfriends thought it was cute.

#2, COOL ROCK

In all honesty, Stu wondered why Billy had chosen this location as a date. He constitutes eating with a good movie, cuddling, making-out, and maybe some bed shaking sex as a good date not taking a walk through the Woodsboro woods.

But, it was nice.

The tests and quizzes…thank fuck this would be the final test for a good while before university rolls in. Well, that is if he aces it.

“Baby” he snaps out from his reveries and turns to see (E/C) coloured eyes with their eyebrows sloped in concern. “You went quiet, everything okay?” Billy halts from ahead, hands shoved in his pockets as he wonders why the two had lagged.

“Yeah, yeah” Stu’s rubs the back of his head and his shoulders droop as (Y/N)’s fingers slip in his hands.

“What’s up?” Billy inquired once they caught up. (Y/N) shakes his head, telling him not to worry too much as he reaches to hold Billy’s hands as well. “He thought he heard something” he soothed them both by rubbing his thumb over their lightly bruised knuckles. “Yeah?” Billy didn’t sound convinced and (Y/N) pursed his lips at him as they made eye-contact.

“Yeah, wolf or something…” Stu continued which made Billy eye him then glance around unsurely. (Y/N) snorted, rolling his eyes. People assumed Billy was the cool headed, suave, Cassanova. Which, to his credit, he was...sometimes. Meanwhile, people assume Stu was the airheaded, frantic, hyperactive comedy relief of your relationship.

They did not know how romantic Stu was, or how smart he was. His extrovertedness along with his bubbly attitude was often mistaken as some sort of weakness - if only they knew how terrifying it was how closely intergrated Ghostface was in Stu’s very soul.

How for Billy, he can hang the robe and mask in the closet. Despite how it peers from the darkness, creaks it open and makes the walls shake from its breathing when it demanded attention.

Stu? The line between him and the mask was a blurred line in the sand that he barely notices. He is Ghostface, with or without the mask.

He’s like…he’s like a…an…a…

There was a twinkle from the corner of (Y/N)’s eyes.

Your boyfriend’s were debating the existence of a wolf and mountain lion hybrid when you spotted the glimmering ‘gem’.

“After this, we’re getting something nice and warm, right?” Stu batted his lashes and Billy nodded, not quite registering the loss of weight and warmth from his left hand as he peeked at the treetops. “Yeah, might be good, it’s getting pretty cold lately” Stu allowed the satisfying crunches of the dead leaves on the forest floor to distract him from (Y/N)’s hand slipping away.

That and Stu’s anxiety of the uncertain future with Billy simultaneously unsure of how to bring the topic up himself. Thankfully, Stu unknowingly made a segway to the conversation for the perfect opening.

“Why’d you even drag us out here, Billy?” Stu whined, kicking a stick out of the way. Billy paused, sighing a bit and moving to bump their shoulders.

“You looked like you were about to damn near cry while staring at your textbook and my head was about to explode anyways, so was our (Y/N)’s. I figured a walk in the woods would help us” Stu realizes that it was more for him because Billy had been silently skimming through some English assignment while (Y/N) had been half-asleep on Stu’s bed. He pressed a kiss to Billy’s jaw, effectively making them pause as he fully held Billy’s face in his hands to kiss him.

He mumbled (Y/N)’s name into the kiss while the corners of his mouth lifting as he grasped Stu’ waist; “(Y/N) also promised me I’d get some kisses from both of my boys if I did as I was asked, he suggested it…” Stu wondered why he stopped midsentence but then he looked around, blood going cold as all he saw was trees and more trees.

“(Y/N)! Baby!” Stu called, interlacing his fingers with Billy as they called out for you. They weren’t too worried about scouring the woods for you as they dredge through here at night often - to evade curious eyes as they carried their equipment around - along with the fact that you couldn’t have possibly been that far.

“(Y/N), come on! Where are you, doll?” Billy called out, retracing their steps down the path as they attempted to spot their darling boyfriend.

“I’m here!” a voice came from behind an overturned tree, the two raced over and blinked owlishly as (Y/N) held up his palm to show them -

“A rock?” Billy brushed his bangs back, holding it in his hand as he turned it around. He even held it up to catch the light, it twinkled shyly under (Y/N)’s lovers gaze.

“It’s a pretty rock! It’s shiny!” he defended as he rose from his knees, dusting the dirt away from his (insert bottom attire).

“You seriously let go of our hands for a rock, baby?” (Y/N) pouted as Stu pulled him into his side, pressing a kiss to his temple all while Billy continued to inspect the rock. “Hey, quit it! I’ve never seen a rock as shiny as that, okay” he huffed, reaching for it while Billy evaded his attempts.

“No, no, answer his question” Billy ‘frowned’ and Stu giggled, “A rock over us?”

“You guys are assholes!” (Y/N) exclaimed making his boyfriends laugh with complete glee.

The shiny rock stayed on Stu’s desk, googly eyes glued on as it weighed down a note that read;

Don’t lose your head over the small stuff. You’ve got this, baby. We love you - (Y/N) + Billy ♡

#3, SHINY KEYS?

In all fairness, (Y/N) thought it was lovely how his boyfriends insist on either one of them holding his hand or both at the same time. But surely, they must not think he was that helpless. Call him crazy but clammy hands was not a cute thing to feel despite how nice of a gesture it was to be holding hands. He’d slipped away a few times, only a few! Nothing bad happened. If anything, most of the time, (Y/N) came back with trinkets!

Well, there was that one time when Stu was hosting a party to let loose and some guy’s cousin from a neighbouring high school had shoot his shot which ended with him getting practically beheaded with a hunting knife by two annoyed Ghostface’s a week or so later.

But, (Y/N) was completely fine!

“I am not that bad” he retorted for the fourth time and Billy simply squeezed their hand and kissed his temple.

“Don’t be a big baby about it”

“Yeah, you saying ya’ don’t like holding hands?” Stu swings their arms together and (Y/N)’s mouth twitches as he fights the urge to smile. “M’not a big baby, I’m a grown man!” a few heads turned towards the trio as they made their way down the street. “Yeah, because grown men yell that they’re grown men” Billy grunted as he was elbowed. “I will castrate you” (Y/N) hissed, “You like my dick too much to do that” he braced himself for another elbow but Stu’s gasp saved him from the wrath of his boyfriend.

“Dude, they opened up an ice cream and waffle place!” Stu tugged his boyfriends across the street, (Y/N) yelping as frantically made sure they weren’t going to become the first hand-holding trio to end up in the ER as some sort of human pretzel’s.

“Jesus, didn’t take long to replace that shitty old man’s shop” Billy muttered with a cruel smirk. The butcher who used to own the shop lot had been a mean asshole who often sold even older cuts of meat for a hefty price. He’d brag his family had practically been the first butchers in Woodsboro and how it was a piece of the town’s history when one bought his product.

You’d think with that as a selling point more people would’ve mourned when he ended up as a corpse, bled-out and hanging from the hook in some pig farmer’s barn. The brutality certaintly shocked everyone but the funeral service held for him had been a dreary affair, with only a handful of people.

“His kid sold it” (Y/N) said as he looked at the menu on the chalkboard sign propped next to the door, “Heard from his grandkid, ya’ know Brandon from theatre?” Billy nodded “Yeah, well, his grandpa was in debt so Brandon’s father decided to sell it”.

“Brandon is related to that geriatric bag of bones?” Stu laughed, clutching his stomach. His boyfriends joined. Well, to be far, the guy was the nicest person you could possibly meet so it was a jarring surprise to know he is related to such a grumpy man.

“Think we did him a favour” Billy curled an arm around (Y/N)’s shoulder with his other placed on his hip. “When Christmas rolls around, I’m betting he’ll get some extra shit out of pity” he continued while Stu moved forward to peek inside the store.

A few familiar faces stuck out to him, they waved in recognition and he glanced at Billy and (Y/N) to gesture for them to head in. Shrrugging, they went along. Stu was the most extroverted - a natural people’s person. It wasn’t unusual for him to be pulled aside to chat with someone. Neither Billy nor (Y/N) minded, especially in this case seeing as they could squeeze in some dessert.

A group of people walked towards the entrance as the three walked in, a gasp of Stu’s name making traffic stop.

Truth be told, Billy had thought he had him leashed to him by his hand alone but by the time the group of school mates had passed through the threshold, he was not there.

Cue the usual song and dance of the lovers heads swivelling and eyes darting to catch a glimpse of (Y/N).

Stu motioned for his friends to wait as he stepped out fully and called out (Y/N)’s name.

“Stu, I’m here!” came the sheepish reply, there he stood in front of a neighbouring store. Their shoulders sagged in relief, lips pursed endearingly as they walked to stand on either side of him.

It was an antique store. Billy swore he could smell it through the display glass, the dust and nostalgia of all sorts of trinkets that were once loved. (Y/N) lifted his hand and pointed to a clever showcase of keys on a string that decorated the top left and rights of the display window. Big, old and clunky but swaying ever so slightly from th ventilation within the store.

They twinkled under the light.

“Puppy,” Stu snickered which earned a head tilt from (Y/N) - it further cemented his claim.

#4, PIZZA

They did it. They fucking did it. They graduated. What better way to celebrate then a date at the new mall?

Stu had outdone his usual parties with the one he had thrown just a few days ago - the three of you were still finding confetti in all sorts of corners in Stu’s house - it was a real Gatsby. Even Billy had found himself dancing in the crowd, feverishly and unabashedly squeezing (Y/N) between Stu and himself.

Now, with that done and over with, it was time for a more private celebration.

(Y/N)’s boyfriends were keeping him in the centre, Stu’s hand around his waist while Billy held a few bags of dorm essentials. Last-minute shopping squeezed into a date, it was usual with the boy’s hectic life and double life.

“That movie sucked” Stu said, “fake blood never looked faker”. (Y/N) rolled his eyes, placing his head on Stu’s shoulder.

“Not everyone’s a murder and horror movie expert, Mr Ghostface” Stu narrowed his eyes at (Y/N)’s teasing tone, grip tightening. He knew what that particular nickname did to his lovers. Billy’s stomach grumbling made their eyes shoot towards his warm face.

“Hungry, baby?” (Y/N) received a sigh and nod. They continued walking as they wondered what they should eat. This mall was huge, and all sorts of restaurants were squeezed into every corner. But that was not where the problem lay.

“Why the fuck would I eat raw fish?” Stu scoffed “We might as well hit the pet store and ate the goldfish”.

“A California roll isn’t as fucking stupid as Italian food made from some American red neck” Billy snapped “I’m the one that’s fucking hungry, I should choose”.

“Nah, no - (Y/N), you choose”

A pause, the escalator they were on continued it’s task of sending the two boys to the upper level with their lover nowhere to be seen.

Unlike the times before, however, calling out your name and retracing their steps did not work. For the first time, they felt cold sweat erupt as they shared a glance. Sure, no real harm could have come to (Y/N), and he was full and well capable of protecting himself. But he was also someone that had walked into a pole, thrice.

“(Y/N)” Billy called out as he and Stu reached the third floor of the mall, nearing the kid’s arcades and all when he finally spotted (Y/N)…

Talking to someone in a brown bear mascot that had a top hat, bow tie and microphone in one of his hands.

“(Y/N)!” he perked up as his boyfriends came into view and waved them over. The man who wore the suit narrowed his eyes at the two, a flash of recognition in his eyes as they came by (Y/N)’s side.

“David, this is Billy and Stu, Billy and Stu, David” Billy paid little attention, just noticing the fact that one of the gloves David was supposed to wear was off and in his hand was a cell phone.

(Y/N)’s name typed down along with his number.

Stu slipped his hands around (Y/N)’s waist, slipping a hand up his shirt which he did little to react too - seemingly used to it.

David’s face fell, expression clear as day despite the shadows of the suit.

“He was talking about this deal they had!” (Y/N) chirped out, showing them the flyer with the establisments name written in a whimsical font.

FREDDY FAZBEAR’S GRAND OPENING!

“How’d you even find this place?” Billy took the flyer, feigning interest as he cocked a brow at David. Who, by the way, realized where he recognized (Y/N) from; he was the boyfriend of Billy Loomis and Stu Macher and he was untouchable.

“While you two were arguing I saw a flyer so I decided to scope around, didn’t think you’d mind considering how serious the discussion of spaghetti and sushi was” he mused, leaning against Billy as he passed the flyer to Stu who had not let his eyes leave the poor part-timer.

“And David…explained the deal?” Stu inquired and (Y/N) nodded “Yeah, we even exchanged our numbers so he’d get us the best seats in the house” he cooed and David shifted uncomfortably as (Y/N)’s boyfriends gazed at him with daggers in their eyes.

“Why the hell would we even eat a kids place with creepy animatronics?” Stu retorted “Let’s bounce, this is laaame”.

There was an edge in Stu’s voice. It often did when he decided to use this sharp-tongued persona - which rarely came out…unless he was particularly annoyed.

(Y/N) rolled his eyes but shrugged and gave David an apology as they eventually walked off to some sushi place.

—

“Woodsboro police department reports the dead body found within the suit of the Freddy Fazbear Pizzaeria mascot is identified to be David Perron. His body was found mutilated and stuffed within the mascot and dragged into the ball pit of the establishment. Authorities are saying this might be the work of the infamous serial killer, Ghostface -“

Stu turns the radio off, (Y/N) squealing as he bounced his knees - effectively making the boy in his lap jump and hold him tighter.

“Stu!” he laughed, the wind in his hair as Billy rested a hand on the back Stu’s headrest. The roof of Billy’s new convertible was down, letting the three lovers feel the blissful breeze and gentle warmth of the California sun.

“Bounce, bounce!” Stu cheered which made Billy peek at the two of them from over the rim of his sunglasses.

“Come on, baby, celebrate!”

“I’m not jumping on your lap in the car! Dumbass!” Stu was no deterred as giggles poured out of (Y/N)’s mouth, his lips attacking (Y/N)’s neck with tongue and teeth.

“The sweater looks better on the floor” Stu purred, hissing sharply as Billy tugged his hair back as he nonchalantly drove with one hand on the wheel. The sweater all three of them were wearing had the logo of the university they’d been accepted into and the one they were making their way towards.

“Billy” Stu whined, the wind muffling it as (Y/N) leaned to kiss Billy and shortly after, turned the radio on. Their favourite song blasted and the lovers rode off, cheering and whooping.

[milomilesmib]

Since I have been feeling a particularly strong attachment to my comfort item lately here are what I think PJO character's comfort items would be (short answers in bold text for those who want a quick read):

Percy: a blue stuffie from his childhood. He doesn't often have it with him but he always feels safer when he is with it. And yes, he probably calls the stuffie "he" because I said so

Grover: a little mushroom pendant from Juniper. He never puts it on anything, just keeps it in his pocket and takes it out to fidget with when he's stressed. It has a really smooth surface and pretty colours so it's a good sensory thing for him.

Annabeth: her camp necklace. She always has it and when she doesn't she feels bare. Every time she's stressed she looks at a bead and thinks of a good memory from that year.

Thalia: a shirt she particularly favours because she wore it a lot when on the run with Luke and Annabeth. Any time she's in a bad mood she wears it and it makes her feel a bit better.

Nico: canonically, it's his skull ring, but I also feel like he'd have a childhood blanket that he's really attached to. It's a really soft fabric and so he always uses it when he's feeling overstimulated or understimulated cause it works for both

Rachel: a scrunchie with a fall leaf pattern on it from Percy. It was the first birthday present he gave her. It was all he could find and afford to get her that he thought she might like and he was scared she'd be underwhelmed but she really appreciated that he went through the effort and now she always has it on her.

Leo: a rock he found on a beach field trip with Piper back at the Wilderness school. It's pink and translucent, so when he holds it up to the sun it lights up a bit. It reminds him that he's cared about and loved when he has an existential crisis about being the 7th wheel.

Piper: a rock matching Leo's, found on the same trip. It's grey and smooth with streaks of white and green. It was a big source of comfort for her when mourning Jason, and she was able to remind herself that there was someone out there who shared her pain.

Jason: a silver bracelet Thalia gave him with a lightning bolt charm. It's the only jewelry he wears and he always has it with him, even when he dies.

Hazel: a small keychain from Frank. It's a little bear holding a plastic gemstone heart. She always brings it with her on quests and outings, making sure never to lose it.

Frank: a purple and gold friendship bracelet Hazel made him when he became praetor. He always treasured it because it made him feel like he'd made someone proud, despite the fact he'd already made so many people proud.

Reyna: her praetor's cloak. She didn't think she'd form an attachment to it, but she really liked the fabric and it made her feel important and safe. After she gave it up, Thalia noticed her seeming sad without it and got her a new one, but silver and gold embroidered with the symbol of Bellona.

Will: a pressed flower from Nico. Nico started picking flowers to press when he was unhappy as a way to learn how to keep his powers under control when his emotions are strong. He gave Will the first one and Will was so honoured he decided to carry it everywhere with him.

Apollo/Lester: a new ukulele Will got him after he lost his old one. Like Percy, he doesn't usually have it, but playing it always calms him down and reminds him of the people he loves.

Meg: a chip of a terracotta pot from her childhood home (I forget what it's called). She found it before she and her dad left and decided to keep it as a keepsake.

Lavinia: her star of David pendant, canonically, but I'd imagine she also has a music box with a little ballerina that reminds her of childhood and makes her feel safe.

Feel free to add on with any characters I missed :)