#like fig's gone on tour with gorgug she knows him the most out of the bad kids

[ultimateinferno]

I saw someone comment "Imagine how much Emily would fit in with the chaos a single episode of The Seven" and I agree, she and Fig would absolutely fit right in but for some reason out of all possible interactions the first one I pictured was her reacting to Sam's one sided rivalry with Gorgug.

[smolandweirdwriter]

The Bad Kids In/After College:

Adaine, Kristen, and Riz attended Astral State University together. Ordinarily, a three-person party isn't the most likely to be successful, but they have a reputation and experience that many adventurers haven't, and they make it work, becoming saviors of not just Elmville, Solace, or their surrounding world but of planes of existence as well.

Fig dropped out after Junior Year. Since then, she has begun a recording label in Hell that operates something of the way Bill Seacaster's patronage does. She's effectively a patron to dozens of bard-warlock multiclassers at this point. Fig and the Sig Figs is going strong, but they're not touring as much because Gorgug's schedule has been wacky.

Why, you ask? Because Gorgug decided to take Arthur Aguefort up on his offer to teach at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, and that resulted in Arthur forcing offering Gorgug to study directly under him. He's been hopping around through time and space with Arthur learning about Artificing and Barbarianism and the history of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy and all sorts of crazy things. It's been a chaotic four years, and also, somehow, the best four years of Gorgug's life. Weirdly enough, he and Arthur develop some convoluted bond/understanding of each other. He wants to take some time away from all the Aguefort stuff (both the man himself and the school) before he starts, so he'll be teaching in the next fall. Until then, he's returning to Elmville and staying with his parents.

Fabian did not pursue any form of higher education or further adventuring type thing. Of all the bad kids, he's become the most, well, normal. He and Mazey opened a dance-fighting studio. He wants to propose to her. Is 25 too soon? He asks Adaine over Fantasy FaceTime one night.

She's in a small bunk of an inter-dimensional spaceship, heading home soon. Her hair is dyed blue and longer than it's ever been, wrapping around her shoulder and spilling all the way out of sight of the screen. She's stronger now, dressed in something of intergalactic armor. She's not the person he knew--she's who that person was always supposed to be, and it aches because in all truth, she was his first crush, and he is always thinking about her and her sister and how much he loves them and how different that love feels now than it did when he was 15. How childish he was. How easily he wanted people who did not want him. How happy he is now with Mazey. How he always wants to feel like this.

Adaine shrugs. She doesn't really understand marriage, herself. Doesn't want it. Will marriage do anything to change what you think of her?

What? No. Of course not. It'll just make it more... Permanent.

Nothing's permanent, she tells him. But you two are cute. If marrying her will make you feel more connected, go ahead.

He bites his lip. I don't suppose you can look into the future for me and see if she says yes?

Adaine doesn't answer. They both know it doesn't work that way. She doesn't really know the future any better than anyone else. Her anxiety has not gone away or faded, her problems have not miraculously vanished, but she is not alone anymore. She is not afraid. She is so immensely loved, and there are days when that still strikes her as unbelievable, but those are few and far between.

Kristen loves college. She loves the freedom, loves the discovery of information on her own time and in her own interests, loves hanging out with Riz and Adaine, loves the mystery of new, unknown places that she and Cassandra can revel in. For all that has occurred, she and Cassandra are learning together, a reborn god and her reborn prophet who is young and has made mistakes and knows herself well enough now to know trying and failing is not something to fear. It's sort of ironic, but Kristen has become so alike to the philosophy student guardians she had with YES?. And yet she is still something different. She is gloriously unpretentious, but she has grown into (and simultaneously out of the more childish aspects of) her questioning and escapist nature, and she cares. She cares so much about everything. About fairness and justice and answers answers answers. She worships not only Cassandra but Cassandra and Ankarna, gathering power from both equally, a Cleric of Two Gods, the Cleric of the Reborn Ones, cleric of Dusk and Dawn. She's thinking of pursuing grad school. Maybe she'll study philosophy. Maybe not. She and Riz talk about it late into the night. She has not gotten over Tracker, but nor have they gotten back together in full. They are friends, and that's something that will not sit quite right in the pit of Kristen's stomach, but she lives and she learns and one day it will.

Riz it turns out, has discovered quite a lot about himself in the last few years. Like, oh, he can have friends who aren't the ones he made in high school. Like, oh, all those clubs he joined Junior Year? Yeah, it turns out he really, really likes some of them. He discovers, especially strangely, that he likes gardening. He likes the idea that he planted something, made something, helped keep it alive, that they together are surviving and thriving and okay. He likes taking care of things. He keeps a small potted plant that he carries with him everywhere.

When the Bad Kids come back together, they are not new people. They are who they were always meant to be.

[dullgecko]

i have the image of fabian using his battle sheet as a temporary burial shroud for riz

Part 1 - Part 2

Riz had been sitting under the tree near his dads desk for hours, his new wings hiding him from view as he tried very hard not to freak out. Pok could see that he wasn’t doing great and had kept the supply of hot drinks coming, more than a dozen empty paper cups that had once contained (admittedly fantastic) coffee sitting around his feet. He didn’t even feel jittery or ill from drinking that much that fast it was weird, but apparently he was a ‘risen soul’ now and he was in heaven so maybe coffee didn’t have any negative effects for him anymore.

Once it hit the six hour mark he had to admit that okay, maybe he did have to accept that he wasn’t getting resurrected any time soon but it was still weird. Kristen had at least two diamonds on her the last time he counted, and Fig had a spare too so they should have brought him back immediately… unless they were also dead? Fuck... maybe he’d accidentally triggered that trap and wiped out his whole team.

Riz popped his head out over the edge of his wings, scrambling to his feet and nearly overbalancing because he still wasn’t used to the extra weight as he lunged forwards to grab his dad by the arms.

“Are my party also dead!?”

“I…. don’t believe so?” Pok had nearly spilled his own drink in surprise when Riz shot up out of his depressed curl, not expecting him to be moving at all yet so soon after his death. Usually people would be stuck in a depression spiral until at least their funeral but Riz never had been one to sit still for very long if he could help it.

“But you’re not sure? Is there a way I can check? They were with me so they should have brought me back straight away.” Riz’s eyes were wide with panic and he’d subconsciously pulled back his lips to show off his teeth, Pok having to place a gentle hand on his head and give him a gentle scratch behind the ear to make him calm down slightly.

“Yeah, sure kid. I’ll give you tour of the records room and show you how to look that stuff up. You sure you’re up for it?”

“No, but I need to know or it will drive me crazy.”

- -------------------

Gorgug and Fabian had been nearly inconsolable when they were woken from their rest to find one of their party members dead. The half elf going so far as to steal Riz’s dead body out of Kristens arms and refuse to let him go until it was pointed out that they should probably find a way to preserve him until they found a way to bring him back.

Adaine had cooled his body down until near freezing before Fabian carefully wrapped the goblin in his battle sheet, not liking that Riz was going to be cold and insisting that he needed the blanket (as irrational as that was given they needed to keep him cold) as they placed him inside his own briefcase. He’d stay chilled in there for longer but it wouldn’t stop him from warming back up entirely, they’d need to periodically cool him down again until they could resurrect him in order to stop decay.

First order of business was getting the hell out of the temple. Fig had tried dimension dooring them to The Bottomless Pit but something in the building was blocking them from leaving that way so they had to take the long way out. Thankfully it was easier leaving then entering since they’d cleared most of the traps on the way in already but it still burned a good ten hours of time before they finally made it to the surface.

Now all they had to do was find a diamond that was worth enough to use as the spell component to bring their friend back, unfortunately that was going to be the hard part of this quest… and they’d probably need multiple just in case the spell failed again. Kristen still had no idea why Riz was apparently ‘unavailable’ for resurrection and Cassandra didn’t have any answers for her either, especially since all she knew was that the goblins soul had gone to Bytopia rather than her own afterlife.

[greatestwizardofthisage]

assigning each of the bad kids a taylor swift era because i am feeling deprived of tswift content now that she's on break from the eras tour

Kristen: Fearless. I can't even explain why, but to me that album is just so sunny and in my mind it fits Kristen perfectly. I think maybe it's because Fearless was one of the first album I ever really loved, then when I was older the rerecording is what got me back into tswift and I can totally see Kristen going through a similar journey with it where maybe she loves it as a kid but then stops listening to it as she distances herself from her childhood/family, only to fall in love with it again later on. Also I feel like the country vibes fit her well. (She would also LOVE betty but she would pretend it's a lesbian anthem)

Gorgug: Ok this feels controversial but he's a Lover stan. I just fully belive that to his core Gorgug is a lover not a hater and he would un ironically love Lover. Like to me that album is all about having gone through some bad shit and choosing to only carry forward the best of it? And that fits with my perception of Gorgug. ALSO the end of afterglow 'I want to be defined by the things that I love, not the things that I hate, or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night' just feels very Gorgug coded to me dont ask me why. However if you've seen any of my other posts about music and the bad kids you know that I wholeheartedly believe Gorgug loves all music so I think he'd be hard pressed to choose a favourite album.

Riz: Midnights. And not just because this kid never sleeps. Bassically I really couldn't decide which album he would listen to because none of them really fit, but then I started thinking about specific lyrics and I think Midnights has the most that he could relate to. I mean 'no one wanted to play with me as a little kid so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since' is about him. You can't change my mind. I do think though that Riz is definitely more invested in all the easter eggs and firguring out which album is coming next over actually listening to her music. Like he would for sure be among the first to figure out all her clues.

Fabian: 1989 and Folklore. I fully to the bottom of my heart belive that until his sophmore year Fabian would exclusivly be listening to pop music, sea shanties, and weird elven music. So obviously he would love the greatest pop album ever made. He wouldn't listen to Folklore until post sophmore character development. Also he would For Sure learn the choreography for the dance in the background of Dress on the Rep tour and recreat it perfectly using his sheet.

Fig: Speak Now. I mean do I even need to explain this? It's the perfect album for Fig. It's the kind of thing she would have loved when she was in her Preppy Cheerleader phase, but it has just enough of that pop punk influence that I feel like she could still appreciate it when she's older. I feel like she would definitly take issue with some of the misogynistic lyrics used in some of the songs, and would be all for the lyric change in Better Than Revenge. Also as I've mentioned many times before, Fig would love Paramore, and would LOVE Castles Crumbling. Like you're going to sit here and tell me that lines like 'They used to cheer when they saw my face, Now I fear I have fallen from grace' + 'Their faith was strong, but I pushed it too far, I held that grudge 'til it tore me apart' + 'Ones I loved tried to help, so I ran them off, And here I sit alone, behind walls of regret' + 'People look at me like I'm a monster, Now they're screaming at the palace front gates, used to chant my name, Now they're screaming that they hate me, Never wanted you to hate me' weren't written by Figueroth Faeth? I also just think songs like Never Grow Up and Long Live would perfectly fit with her not so secret sentimental streak.

Adaine: Evermore and Folklore. I think theres just a sort of elegence to these albums that really reminds me of Adaine. I also think theres so much vulnerability in them and a lot of the songs touch on feelings of not being good enough for others (mirrorball, tolerate it, this is me trying, right where you left me) that I think she could relate to not from a romantic relationship standpoint but from all the expectations placed on her by her parents. I also think that although these are probably the most low key of tswifts albums, they have some good angry songs (no body no crime, illicit affairs, mad woman) that she would definitly love. But yeah this is mostly based on aesthetics. Evermore and Folklore were albums written with a quill and Adaine is the kind of girl to appreciate this.

[adaine]

audience//alone

for @dimension20alphabet

when the music stopped, what did fig have?

Fig loved being on the stage.

There was something about standing up there and playing your heart out in front of hundreds of cheering fans that just made her feel like she was worth it. All those people, playing her songs on repeat, lining up for her shows, cheering her name. It made her feel important. It made her feel loved.

And obviously, she should feel loved anyway. She was getting along somewhat better with her mom, she and Gorthalax got along great, she had patched things up with Gilear, and she had the Bad Kids, the best friends in the world that she’d met just last year.

Still, it was hard to reassure yourself of your own worth when you’d been abandoned by the people that were supposed to have your back in the past.

So, she relished her time on the stage, taking in all the people that thought she was amazing (even if they didn’t know the details).

And then, after they had given their final bow, she tried to hold onto it. She would spend hours on her crystal sometimes, scrolling through various social media sites to see adoring posts from fans that had been to the show. Because, if she was still caught up in that then maybe, for just a second, she could forget how lonely it could be on tour.

It was weird. She loved her bandmates and they were close but she couldn’t help but feel out of place. For one, Gorthalax would pop down to Hell between most shows to check on things in the Bottomless Pit. Gorgug’s biological parents always had each other and usually spent the time after going out. And then Gorgug, who was still an awesome friend, was usually either spending time getting to know them or video calling Zelda for hours on end.

When the music stopped, what did Fig have?

This was the question she asked herself far too often. She knew that she was lucky. She knew that half of Solace wished to have what she had. Still, she sometimes felt a panging in her heart, a longing for some of the normalcy that she had in her life before her horns came in. When those girls that she thought had her back were always there. Sure, it was fake, but they were still present.

She sat on the bus alone, knees curled to her chest, as she scrolled through messages in the Bad Kids group chat from hours ago. Riz was sleeping over at Adaine and Kristen’s tonight, watching a marathon of some movies that Fig had never actually seen. Fabian was out of service, as he had been the past week or so, exploring the ocean and spending some quality time with his dad. For a moment, she considered sending a text to Gilear but decided against it. He was probably asleep by now and she didn’t want to ruin his life.

Fig sighed and put her crystal aside. Maybe she should just try to sleep. You didn’t have to dwell on your loneliness when you were asleep.

“Are you alright?”

She jumped at the sound of Gorgug’s voice.

He slipped into the seat next to her. “You seem off,” he continued.

“I’m fine,” she said with a shrug.

Gorgug didn’t look all that convinced.

“I am,” she insisted.

“I love being on tour,” he said after a moment. “But do you ever wish that we could just go home for a few days? I miss Zelda and our friends and this is the longest that I’ve ever gone without seeing my Mom and Dad. I mean this is amazing and we’re so lucky but sometimes I wish I could just be a kid.”

She nodded. “It shouldn’t be lonely but it is.”

He reached over and interlaced their fingers. “At least I’m doing this with one of my best friends. I’d have given up otherwise.”

A smile spread across her face. He was right. No matter what, she did have a friend at her side. She just had to reach out to him.

Sure, she was kind of lonely. That didn’t mean that she had to be alone.

[tinygalaxykid]

Bad Kids!ACOC AU

Ok so if you haven't seen my recent ACOC!Riz sketch, go check it out. My hope is that I’ll be able to draw all of the bad kids before the finale but we’ll see. This is long bc it’s my general setup for this AU but I’ll be making small posts about backstories, magic items, etc. Feel free to jump on this HC, just tag me.

This definitely takes place post-acoc but maybe in an alt timeline just because I don’t know what the political and religious situation of the post-campaign will be.

Riz is made out of sweet & sour hard candy. He has sugar freckles and is sour-apple flavored. He’s still a rouge, having learned his tricks being a poor villager in a crime-filled village of Southern Candia. His mom, Skolanda is jolly-rancher like candy and Pok was actually a fructerian apple person. After being turned away from the Candian military for his small stature he decides to clean up his crime-ridden village, fancying himself a detective and a vigilante. His non-offical tagline is “Sour, sweet, then gone.”

Fabian Aramais Seacaster is made of tiramisu as his father Bill Seacaster, an infamous, curdled pirate of the Dairy Sea, met and married Hillariel from a small peninsula of Fructera where everyone is made of creamed coffee. They settled down in Port Syrup and live very comfortably. 

Kristen is actually Fructerian and living in a religious city just past the border of Candia. She’s made of honey roasted apple pie (apple-bees?) and is in Candia as a bulbian missionary hoping to spread the faith to these non-believers. It’s her first time out of her home and she is READY to spread the gospel!

Adiane is made of icing and whipped cream. She’s from a highborn family close to Ceresia and her parents happen to be close to one Lord and Lady Cruller. While still being shitty, awful, usurping people, her family still practices magic from a private library of historical Candian tomes they refuse to share with the public. 

Gorgug, adopted by two candy heart parents in Dulcington, is a vegetainan pumpkin boy! Somedays he’s not sure what sets him apart more, him being over 6 ft tall or the fact that he’s the first plant-based person most of the townfolk have ever seen. He works as a stable-boy (for meeps!) in Castle Candy.

Fig (not actually a fig, I know), is red-hot tamale candy! After realizing that her yogurt father, Gilear, may not be her real dad, she is trying to break away from her Mother, Sandralynn, who works under the Queen’s Guard, Sir Amanda Maylard, so that she can go find her real family in the great stone candy mountains.

They all meet during the official post-war coronation of Queen Saccharina Frostwhip of House Rocks. Riz goes there searching for the legendary Sir Amanda Maylard whose expertise in tracking have proven her invaluable to Candia. Seeking to become her apprentice, he sneaks his way into the coronation to find a moment to talk with her.

Fabian is there with both his parents (officially invited as his father had a few friendly encounters with one Amethar Rocks during the Ravening War) and sits with their family friend, Manta-Ray Jack.

Kristen in there with a few other bulb officials. They’re not technically invited but they were hoping that their presence could steer some of the Candian heathens in the right direction.

Seeing as no one can prove the the Abernants involvement with Lord Cruller’s coup (even if they were exceptionally compliant with his reign), the whole family attends with young Adiane in tow who is feeling EXTREMELY uncomfortable attending the festivals and parties being thrown in the queen’s honor.

Gorgug and his parents take place in the festivities as does the rest of Dulcington and somehow gets lost and sort of makes his way into the castle?

Lastly, Fig is there because her boring-ass mom has to attend the coronation and so she going to drag fig over there in a stupid dress and a stupid hairdo even though Fig told her a thousand times that she didn’t want to go. Honestly, Fig is just hoping she can steal a meep from the stables and make her way towards the candy mountains.

They all meet after the coronation when the Seacasters and the Abernants are receiving tours of Castle Candy. Fabian peer pressures Adiane into sneaking away so that they can explore the Castle on their own (Adine only agreed because Aelwyn was being particularly unbearable and Fabian only asked so her as recon for flirting with her sister). It’s just when they stumble upon the training grounds when they find one Sir Amanda Maylard escorting a (small?) trespasser out of the grounds. Riz is trying to explain his value as a squire and apprentice but to no avail. As luck would have it, Sir Amanda doesn’t finish escorting him out of the grounds because all havoc breaks loose when some candian villager breaks into the stables to steal a meep and some vegetainian boy has to wrestle her off of it???

Fig, Adaine, Fabian, Gorgug, and Riz meet when they are all adequately being punished for their respective crimes. While Sir Amanda holds them, waiting for their parents to give them even more berating, Kristen Applebees tries to make her introduction, hoping that her good influence can show them the light of the bulb.

Even MORE shenanigans ensue thanks to Fabian’s peer pressuring as they all escape Sir Amanda Maylard and manage to make it out of the castle with some fancy new magic relics retrieved from the Ice Cream temple by Queen Saccharina just months ago.

The all quickly become great friends after running into a man who claims himself to an arch-mage of the sweetening path and a lover to Joren Rocks, a man named Arthur Augefort. He tells them of untold fortunes that lie in the Great Stone Candy mountains and seeing as they all have vested interests in magic, escaping their shitty family, adventure, and Gorgug just kinda agreeing, they head north on the Sucrosi Road.

The go on adventures, blah, blah, blah. After discovering new magics  in north Candia, the bad kids sail across the dairy sea to a pirate island called Leviathan, somehow make into the Meatlands where they meet some friendly people named Jawbone and Tracker, then they head to Vegetainia where they fight off an extremist group of Bulbians callled the Harvestmen, and somewhere along the way kill Adiane’s dad.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 4

Skipper Thistlespring and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

We pick back up at The Swan’s Little Parade where rich people shenanigans are taking place. Gorgug breaks from the group to try and call Zelda. When she doesn’t answer, he leaves the saddest, sweetest apology voicemail ever. Lou breaks. Siobhan breaks. I break. 

Meanwhile, the rest of the group gameplans. Adaine pushes back against the idea that they have to talk to Aelwyn. Her parents are also an option and Aelwyn is not a good person, no matter how hot Fabian is for her. They also check out the guest book from the hotel and see that Bill Seacaster has stayed there several times, always right after a Garthy O’Brien (they see that it happened a bunch while they were in jail and it was probably in conjunction with when Bill was supplying palimpsests). Fabian recognizes the name as a pirate and Cathilda knows they run the Gold Gardens which is a floating pirate casino/brothel.

Kristen tries to release Gorthalax but just confirms that, because of the curse, doing it without messing up Gorthalax is gonna be tough. 

Sandra-Lynn goes to get Gorgug while Fig decides to careen the campaign into Crazytown and make herself Empress for Life of the same. She disguises herself as an old lady and tries to drop off a note giving her phone number as the new number of the cop she impersonated last episode (Detective Decker) so she can send a fully grown cop texts that would def get him Chris Hansen’d irl. Brennan decides that if she’s gonna keep making beds, she should probably lie in one of them for once and comes for her entire life in the funniest scene of the episode. No recap I could give can do it justice(links to clips here: x, x). Just know it ends with Fig running away and ditching her phone in a lake, which could very possibly have plot consequences if she forgets to replace her phone before she’s in a tight spot where it would be helpful and the absolute dumbest/funniest reason for a character death (I want to note that she did replace her phone technically, but with a huge, old, brick phone from Adaine’s jacket that can’t be as useful as an actual cell). 

ANYWAY

Tracker creates a Moon Haven in the van which is basically like a dope pillow fort with the Sanctuary spell cast on it and TARDIS bigger-on-the-inside spatial mechanics. Once they’re inside the Moon Haven, Ragh finally feels safe to tell them what he knows--which he does telepathically via Adaine and the message spell to make everything extra safe. Here’s a rundown of what he tells them:

He saw Kalina on the night of prom after the big fight. She was talking to Jace (the sorcery “teacher”) and an elven woman who looked like Adaine in black robes--Adaine confirmed with a picture that it was her mother. 

After being healed by Porter, Ragh started walking home and was stopped by Kalina who said she would kill his mom if he told anyone what he saw. 

Ragh’s mom Lydia is also a half-orc barbarian. She was on a mission in the Red Waste (where the 7 Maidens have their Sophomore Year quest) and they found a soul gem that was leaking something bad. She put it in her chest to contain the evil but at the cost of her health. She’s now extremely sick and in a permanent, medically-induced rage to keep her alive. She refuses medical treatment because no one can ensure the evil won’t be released if they remove the gem. 

His mom fucking slaps.

So that’s all deeply worrying. Adaine invites Ragh and his mom to live with them in the Haunted House and Fig offers to give them Dr. Asha’s number. Gorgug discovers the Van can become a boat which is convenient for the pirate-y things they have to do (the Golden Gardens is on the way to Falinel so they decide to stop there first). Fig has a heart to heart with Gilear while Adaine and Sandra-Lynn take first watch outside since the Moon Haven can only hold nine people. Adaine has to roll a wisdom save because she’s outside of the Haven’s protection and, even on a 16, the music goes all scary and she feels that something is in the tent with her outside. Something humanoid and her size with its knees to its chest. She senses that if she sees its face, something will happen to her and, instead of looking at it, she calls for Sandra-Lynn. By the time she shows up, the thing is gone. Fig assures Adaine that she’s not crazy or seeing things and, based on Adaine’s description, they’re able to deduce that it wasn’t Baron or Kalina. 

In the morning, Gorgug is pretty bummed and asks everyone to call him Skipper. Kristen is very down and Fabian is very not. They discuss whether they should tell all of the information from Ragh to the 7 Maidens (no) and whether Gorgug should call Zelda (yes). They drive into the sea. Gorgug finally talks to Zelda who is not happy with him for the ghosting and unintentional thoughtlessness. She’s even less happy with him when she realizes he forgot to get the generator they needed to stay in touch long distance. They’re breaking up. Do I mean relationship-wise or phone-wise? You don’t know? Well that makes two of us (Thanks, I Hate It).

They’re at sea for two days and then make it to the floating pirate shipwreck city of Leviathan. Pirate adventures next week, y’all! 

Detention

Fig for Trying to Seduce ANOTHER Middle-Aged Man

Listen, I’ll stop putting her here for this when she stops doing this. Not to mention, she invented a whole ass person (HILDA HILDA?????) when she’s just been told that nightmare monsters are being generated from lies. Fig, my girl. Ms. Faeth. Please. I’m begging you. Please. 

Honor Roll

All of the Adults for Stepping Up

Every single adult in this episode was on fire. Fig confided in Gilear and he stepped up to the plate with a This-Is-So-Serious-I’m-Going-To-Use-Your-Actual-Full-Name, speech. Sandra-Lynn showed Adaine how to do some ranger stuff and jumped in to save her when she cried out. Cathilda was ready with warm milk and cookies she somehow was able to make in the van as soon as Adaine needed them. Sandra-Lynn also had a heart to heart with Fig and even Gorthalax, who’s still trapped in the ruby, gave Fig a spell slot back. And, of course, Ragh’s mom slaps. 

Random Thoughts

Adaine and Fabian both being uber rich but being on the opposite ends of the rich people spectrum is hilarious. Adaine is a “Sleeping in a van? I’ve heard of that but I’ve never gotten to do it. This will be fun!” Rich Kid  and Fabian is a “No turn down service? Hard pass,” Rich Kid. 

I was happy that they brought Ragh along for comedy reasons but who knew he was gonna be so chock full of backstory and important story beats? Like, every good GM has a way of making whatever story path that was chosen seem like the only way the story could have gone and I’m sure that whoever was picked, Brennan would have made that seem like the obvious and essential choices but I’m very happy they picked Ragh. Him talking about how much he loves his mom was so adorable! I love that he’s a big, good, dumb boy now and I’m happy they invited him to live at the Haunted House. That’s def gonna be good for some shenanigans (also love that Adaine’s only stipulation was that he had to be nice to Zayn and he was so eager to agree).  

Insane Ally Move of the Game: Deciding that Kristen genuinely doesn’t know Gilear used to be lunch lad at their school. Is Kristen even on the same plane of existence as everyone else. And then, later, “I worry about Gilear.” Do you really???

I totally forgot that Gilear was not only an elven diplomat but also a full on actual counselor. Makes it even wilder that he lost the job to Jawbone. Also, while we’re talking about him, I said we were gonna inevitably gonna get some more color on Gilear this season and we saw some of that in this ep when Adaine uses detect thoughts on him (which, btw, seems like a horribly invasive thing that people do very casually in this world) and we see that he gave up his career for Sandra-Lynn and then was wrecked when she cheated on him. Really puts a melancholy shade over his hilarious ineptness. 

Another thing I figured we’d see soon and that we’re starting to see is Adaine speaking up on Aelwyn. Two times this ep she tried to steer the group away from Aelwyn and seemed more serious than her usual trash talk. As excited as I am for pirate adventures, I want to get to Falinel ASAP to see how this shakes out. 

Also, on the mom front, wild that we found out that Ragh has a super dope mom in the same scene Adaine took another L and found out that her mom is also involved in this shadiness. Black robes are never a good sign. But I will say, just based on the story beats we’ve gotten, I’m not totally sold on the idea that she’s 100% bad--or at least that she doesn’t care for Adaine at all. I’m wondering if she wasn’t at school trying to find Adaine (possibly among other things). 

“Every time you have sex it’s a gamble. You could lose your heart.”/”What happened to you on tour?”

Gorgug trying to let a full sized griffon land on his arm is hilarious. I love that. He’s so wholesome and dumb.

I love that when Emily was doing her Hilda-Hilda nonsense , turned into Detective Decker, and ran past the police house precinct, Lou was the only person who was on her wavelength and understood what she was trying to do while everyone else was like????

We find out in this ep that Van can control all the auxiliary functions of the van but not the actual driving, which is important to know before a sticky situation. On a more personal note, we find out that he was originally a planetar (second most powerful D&D angel) of Elysium, specializing in harmony, relaxation, and chill vibes and he got dumped and kicked out of heaven for sleeping through a call to battle.

We also get the cursed image of a van with hands which I knew was gonna be the shirt and lo and behold. 

“Fuck Me.”/”When.” Y’all are the worst. 

I love that Brennan mentioned Porter in Ragh’s flashback, fully knowing it was gonna trigger Emily. 

Fig’s new plan is to get all of her parents in a throuple and I don’t even know where to begin with that tbh so I won’t.

@voxfantasma made a comment last week that Sandra-Lynn very well could have seen Kalina which is why she can she her in the photo--which is an offhand comment I made when I was talking about the rules of the photo last week--and Ragh’s reaction to the photo is making me move this theory back up to the top spot. I still wish they would show the photo to more people so we’d have more data for this. 

I loved Fig tossing Fabian a bardic inspiration for a compliment even though he didn’t really need it. I also love that she has a rider in her rockstar contract necessitating gogurt be at all her shows for Gilear. 

Adaine paranoidly casting water breathing on everyone at the slightest hint that they may have to go near water. Our girl is learning from the mistakes of the last oracle. 

With the gang facing off against the Nightmare King and Brennan’s description of the thing in Adaine’s tent as being humanoid, about her side, and sitting in a sort of defensive way, I’m wondering it what it was was a manifestation of her own anxiety or something along those lines. Of course, it could just be a normal ass monster. Sometimes the scariest thing is your inner turmoil and sometimes it’s just a monster trying to bite your head off. 

We also learn that Cathilda has a super wild adventurer’s life before she settled down to be a maid--so she knows what she’s missing and she’s fine with it--and also that she is paid ridiculously well, which makes me feel better about what’s going on with her. Also, her moment with Adaine and the cookies was so sweet. My notes for that scene say, “Adaine loves Cathilda and so do I.”

I loved Murph and Riz going equally Pepe Silvia trying to anagram out Garthy O’Brien (which is also what I was doing, especially since Brennan specifically spelled out the name). Cheers to Murph/Riz and Siobhan/Adaine trying to single handedly keep the story on track--both in and out of character.

There’s a part in this ep where Adaine Ray of Frosts Fig who immediately Hellish Rebukes her and that’s truly the kind of step-sister shenanigans I want to see from them as much as possible please and thank you. Also, like I said before, it was very sweet of Fig to reassure Adaine that she wasn’t just seeing things in the tent. Her catfishing middle aged men aside, she can be very empathetic when she wants to be.  

Adaine cast (or tried to cast Friends) on the thing in her tent. And I think it’s very telling about her character that that’s the spell she would cast and not an offensive one. Not that messing w/ someone’s brain is a super chill thing to do or anything, but I think, “Maybe I can calm whoever this is and talk to them and we can get some information,” is a much more measured reaction than maybe, “Let’s blast this thing to kingdom come and ask questions later.”

“Man van is a boat, my boat is a van.”

Brennan lets Adaine roll w/ advantage to convince the Hangman to come with them on the Van (which he still hates) because she said, “Please” really cute which is the kind of arbitrary DM fiat that I love. 

Adaine: We should tell them unless we’re being graded on a curve. (Savage.)

“Fig, she’s a maid. She’s not allowed to lie.”

All the skipper talk this ep got the Gilligan’s Island theme stuck in my head (never seen an ep but my mom watches it sometimes) so the next day I was getting dressed going “With Fabian, and the skipper too, the oracle, the PI,” to the GI theme song. Also, did not know skipper and captain were the same title until Fabian got all upset and I looked it up. Yet another piece of information I know because of some game (along with what a panacea is (Dragon Quest 9) and where the CDC is (Pandemic)).

Gorgug, being offered a virgin daiquiri: No thanks, I’m driving. (I’ve said this before: Zac low key has the best comic timing of anyone.)

When Riz is angraming, one of the things he ends up with is something about a “night yorb” which Brennan decided is a real thing that both the Hangman and the Van are very wary about. Having the Hangman constantly being like, “SPEAK NOT OF THE NIGHT YORB!” and the Van being like, “Seriously, don’t fuck with the night york,” was so funny and such nonsense. I can’t wait for the night yorb mini boss fight that has to happen now because of the rule of funny.

Gorgug comes down from his call with Zelda and everyone except for Fabian (and probably Ragh who cannon-balls off the boat w/ Fabian and they both have to be rescued by Sandra-Lynn) knows exactly what happened immediately. Aw, buddy. One of my favorite things about media where you have kids saving the world is you have relationship drama and also the world is ending and it all feels equally high stakes. I find that so funny but also it feels very representative of what high school was like, or at least what it felt like (minus the literal apocalypse, obv. Or maybe not. Idk what was going on at your high school). 

Adaine continues lending out Boggy to anyone who needs him.

Also, Gorgug tries to build a cell tower with driftwood and parts from Adaine’s jacket. It’s not going super hot. 

Both Adaine and Riz are podcast nerds and listen to This Solesian Life. All checks out. Their friendship is underrated.  

“I’m feeling really bad and my van is a boat.”

“I was gonna be straight edge except for drugs,” gives me “Sober salad” energy. 

The whole discussion about Kristen getting tracker silly putty for her birthday. 

The Van was serving some serious Ned Flanders energy along with the Owen Wilson energy this episode. 

Brennan does pretty good whale noises. 

Only crit this episode is Fig with a nat 20 insight to know Gorgug’s conversation with Zelda did not go well. Which is something she’d crit on.

[jq37]

**spoilers for sophomores and stagecraft the NYC Fantasy High Live Show**

I never actually got an ask explicitly asking for this recap so I didn’t do one because I’ve been super busy but I wanted to do a quick post on it before I go fully in The Unsleeping City mode. This is all off the top of my head.

I know we kinda knew the gang went back to school after S1 because of the little epilogue they had but that's still so wild. Imagine getting arrested and slaying a dragon and almost dying (and *actually* dying in some cases) and then having to go back and be a Sophomore with a bunch of kids who, as far as we know, have little to no practical experience (except the 7 Maidens who kick ass and not only slayed a dragon but did it for no reason except they felt like it, which is metal as hell).

Sidenote: I was gonna say "a bunch of kids who might as well go to Mumple," and as I was considering it, I realized that it's never actually explained what exactly that school's deal is. But it's such an unpleasantly named school that you're immediately like, "No thanks. Hard pass."

IDK if BDG watched the full FH season before he played or if Brennan just briefed him really well but he matched the tone and the setting from the first word out of his mouth. Him going up to the gang and being like, “You’ve done murder, right?” was just like an instant hall of fame line for me.

And all the regular cast slipped right back into their roles so well. They may not have remembered all of their spells and attacks but they remembered all the character stuff 100%

Possibly my fave line of the night was when Aguefort bamfed out of the room and Siobahn did a little leaning on the fourth wall, “He just did a teleport spell. The rest was flavor.” It was so smooth. 

My headcanon of Adaine’s life being mildly inconvenienced by random visions when she’s trying to, like, have her damn breakfast is validated. 

Oh, the other great Adaine line in this ep was when Falinel was trying to get her back and was like, “I get that you’re a teenager,” and she was like, “Do you?”

Also, I think it’s funny that Brennan didn’t expect Adaine to use the identification spell, even though the whole story hinges on the the gang fighting a monster using a powerful magical item that none of them recognize. 

“Don’t Emily Axford me on the live show.” She’s a verb. I love her so much.

Brennan explains that Fig and Riz are touring and “in deep cover” respectively and, hilariously, no one is very curious about the second thing at all. It’s like, “Same shit as usual.”

So Kristen’s highlights. Because I think doing this person is easiest for my memory.

Kristen is having ANOTHER crisis of faith and, this time, her tentative solution is to change Yes! to Yes? Which doesn’t help at all and arguably makes things worse because now her spirit guardians are a bunch of annoying philosophy majors (because Brennan loves dunking on himself as much as I love dunking on him).

Tracker MVP Line: I feel like if you don’t want to join a cult, Crossfit is a bad call.

Kristen playing the gay card to get Adaine to walk into her room (“Come in and be an ally. Are you an ally?”) and then Ally announcing that she and Tracker are both naked has equivalent energy to that scene in Critical Role where Percy knocks on Vex’s door and Laura gleefully announces that she opens the door buck naked.  

Gorgug is the most naive of the Bad Kids and also most likely has the most comprehensive knowledge of sex stuff which is hilarious to me. The duality of man.

Toss-up favorite Gorgug moments were his constant, “He’s doing it!” to Hargis’s awful acting and him grabbing the wig from Iris and turning into a cloud of gnats wearing tiny wigs (which Brennan allowed at the audiences).  That second thing was such an off the wall bonkers choice. That was like an Emily choice. 

Oh, there was a moment when he got hit by a charm ray and everyone went, “Awwww” and then Zac went, “I’m immune,” and everyone went bonkers. I cannot stress how wild the energy in the room was. 

Also, during Gorgug’s intro when his parents are like, “We’re just super happy you haven’t died and gone to hell yet so far.”

Fabian’s whole conversation with Cathilda about his mom attempting to use the kitchen was gold. 

Likewise, the whole interaction between him and Gilear was AMAZING. Fabian and I had the exact same reaction to hearing his engine was full of bees.

Sidenote, I love that he hates that Gilear is dating his mom and has zero self awareness that he’s doing the exact same thing with Adaine’s sister.

Lou/Fabian wasting good rolls on pure flavor is very on brand. 

The best thing about Fabian is he’s entertaining when he’s succeeding big and he’s entertaining when he’s failing big. 

Oh, my fave Fabian line I think is when Hargis comes in and is like, “You’ve murdered, yes?” and everyone is like yeah except for Kristen and he’s like, “OK but you’ve facilitated a lot of murder. You’ve blessed me to commit murders several times.”

Aguefort totally DESTROYS Gorgug when he tries to point out that maybe the school isn’t being run in the safest way and it’s amazing. 

Also, Brennan as Aguefort prompting everyone to yell, “Chronomancy!” was very fun. 

Truly, the most iconic moments of the session were BDG’s nat 20 roll to fool Iris as Professor Bargis (I can’t believe we got truly the only scenario where that worked because I thought he was doomed), Gorgug making his dex save for petrification (s/o to riz-gukgak) and then throwing out that “to be or not to be”, and Brennan grinning and slowly lowering his laptop screen because Hargis just did a one liner and killed the boss. 

This is really far down for this comment but I really didn’t expect Adaine to pull the wig right when she did and trigger the combat. I mean, if she hadn’t, it would have run even later and I got home pretty late as is, but I really thought there was gonna be at least one conversation between the Id-ing the wig and the fight.

Sidenote: My fave Bad Kid dynamic is that everyone is constantly ganging up on everyone. It’s exactly how I remember all my friend groups in high school being. 

Adaine makes very good use of spells like Tasha’s Hideous Laughter and Ray of Sickness. They’re like her go-to’s and they’re really low level. 

Did Brennan write this villain just the make fellow teen jokes and to have a valid reason to say, “You snatched my wig?” Discuss.

This is way longer than I intended. 

Anyway, as good as it the show was (and it was amazing) the wildest part for me is always gonna be that, after the show, I met Brennan and got confirmation that he has a tumblr, that was his account on that one post, and he is aware that I dunk on him on the regular. Truly not information I thought I was going to get when I started doing these and yet here we are. The internet is wild y’all.