#like does anyone else feel this way
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PSA KIND OF A RANT BUT ALSO JUST A GENUINE QUESTION BUT LIKE DOES ANYONE FEEL WEIRDED OUT THAT THE SHADOWHUNTER SERIES ARE KIND OF TARGETED FOR TEENS (I mean, aren’t they though)
I know I hate and shit on the shadowhunter series (SORRY IT DESERVES TO BE CRITICIZED) and y’all, I’m seriously okay with having characters have trauma and being complex (seriously I’m all for it!!!! I love those fascinating characters) but make these people young adults or something. because this should not be targeted for teens!!!!! LET ME REPEAT MYSELF!!!! THIS SHOULD NOT BE TARGETED FOR TEENS!!!!! I just don’t like the message it sends. I think it’s probably the worst in TMI.
oh if you’re abused or have a shit childhood, it’s okay to put that on others and make it their problem. oh if you’re boyfriend is toxic and emotionally abusive, it’s okay because y’all are soulmates apparently and your whole identity is about him!!!!!!! I don’t mind insane fantasy romances!!!! but don’t target it towards teens!!!!! I still get amazed that this incest toxic fantasy is for teens???????
I don’t know, it’s just weird that a 50+ year old woman is writing about teens having sex. like does anyone feel Cordelia was extremely sexualized????? there’s just so much problematic shit CC writes. and once again, I don’t believe that fantasy books should be “real” “make sense” or whatever excuse people want to use to defend misrepresentation, incest, or heavy topics (abuse, trauma) that are written poorly.
I don’t care if clary and jace aren’t actually siblings- they thought they were and they’re both toxic to one another, also the fact that clary is there to serve jace’s happiness is wild. so like if you want an outrageous fantasy world, that’s absolutely valid but don’t have it targeted for teens. this is my whole beef with the shadowhunter series (and more let’s be obvious) is that teens pick up these books and maybe they don’t understand (doesn’t a brain fully develop at 25 or something?????) and thinks the type of stuff that is in this book is okay or to be admired.
maybe I think too much of this (I’m a very heavy and emotional thinker/person who feels A LOT) and maybe teens don’t actually think this???? maybe they can differentiate that this is fiction and not to be admired? but it’s just weird reading about teens and all the problematic stuff they do. I’m in the young adult ish category so it feels uncomfortable at times for me. make them young adults or something!!!!!!
I’m probably just thinking too much into this lmao but does anyone else feel this way about the books???? and before someone says OmG dOn’T rEaD iF yOu DoN’t LiKe It- the only reason I read these books was because of show Malec and I stupidly thought it was going to be the same masterpiece and I was sorely mistaken- and then I read about the insane stuff CC has gotten away with (plagiarism, how she treated people in the Harry otter fandom, how she treats her own fans when they criticize her, like I think she’s actually insane) and I just feel like this fantasy world and some of these characters deserved better treatment and should’ve been put in the hands of an author who actually cared more. I’m just tired of problematic authors and writers ruining shit for us
#anti cassandra clare#anti cc#just my stupid opinions#it’s kinda a rant#but am I thinking too much of this#like does anyone else feel this way#or am I being overly emotional#anti jace herondale#anti clary fray#anti clace#this doesn’t cover everything of how I feel#I don’t know if anyone is actually interested in my thoughts#am I annoying y’all yet lmao#so it’s for 14 year olds and up#but still weird like I wouldn’t want someone under eighteen reading this and thinking it should be admired#maybe if the writing actually has some accountability#or showed that hey trauma is okay and valid and what you went through is okay and so is working through it#there’s nothing wrong with seeking help#but the way she writes it is so insane to me
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"I missed you little man." ⸻ VI & EKKO, Arcane
#who else feels like their heart is being ripped from their chest??? a raise of hands? no one else? just me???#i feel sooo ill#SHE HOLDS THE BACK OF HIS HEAD THE SAME WAY SHE DID WHEN THEY WERE KIDS#throwing myself off a 19034892384 million foot sky scraper does anyone want something?#idc idc that's her little brother#arcane vi#arcane#arcane ekko#vi#ekko#ekko arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane lol#arcaneedit#arcane netflix#animationedit
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finding out that Ed's fancy party updo also has butterflies in it is exactly the sort of joy & magic i fucking needed in my life today 🥰🦋
#edward teach#our flag means death#ofmd#btw does anyone else feel like there's something quantumly magical about OFMD#where little details we didn't notice for 2 & half yrs suddenly appear bc maybe they weren't there before#but then reality shifted & they magically appeared for us to find#i'm sort of approx 1/3 of the way serious about this
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okay other ships are great but there is truly nothing that can stand against watching a being as old as time with the angelic power of the cosmos reach out and rest a healing hand against the face of the man he loves and breaking through every order and every command that’s been inside him for millennia. like you mean to tell me that there is anything more romantic than that ??? anything more than castiel, a being of unfathomable power, choosing to reach out and use touch and feel dean to heal him over and over again even when we know it’s not necessary ??? i will never get over it and i will never be sane because there is nothing that even comes close to that in other ships im sorry but like the very touch of him corrupts and from that first second he was lost and he fell in love with humanity because he fell in love with dean and with every gentle and healing touch made with a soldiers hands he pours that love into deans skin and hmmnnngnng
#destiel#castiel#dean winchester#supernatural#and how dean kneels and looks up and places his life in cas’ hands#time and time again#trusting in ways that we know he does not with anyone else#always reaching back always trying to offer his own comfort#‘i need you’ ‘cursed or not’#and how he deprives himself of castiels grace and healing when he doesn’t feel worthy of it despite nothing he does being enough#to ever stop cas from loving him#to ever stop cas from offering it#other ship did it first this and other ship did it as well that#there’s no other ship out there doing it like dean and cas
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RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1
Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.
#going to start a small 'series' where I document stuff I learn that is otherkin specific. This is for myself as well as anyone who might#be struggling with things I used to/am working on(otherkin specific). hopefully this will reduce any mental pitfalls other otherkin may#fall into as they explore their identity and help out someone.#this 'rule' took a LONG time to fully understand and grasp. for the longest time I would consciously or subconsciously#think I was less Loki if I did or was something 'Loki would never do. until i realized I do exactly and experience exactly what Loki does#and experiences because...Im literally Loki. (talking about incarnations here). I felt pressured to be a certain way because 'Loki would#never (insert). being aroace is on of them. i tried to convince myself I wasn't aroace#and when I finally ran out of reasons i felt i was 'less Loki' because mythologically hes like the opposite. but Loki IS aroace. because#Im Loki. and Im aroace. so loki is SUPPOSED to be aroace because Im loki and im being exactly how loki is being. because im loki. being#myself. therefore being exactly like Loki. again - incarnation.#anyway....if anyone else struggles with this I hope this helps someone. its a really sucky place to be in honestly.#godkin#deitykin#alterhuman#otherkin#divinekin#nonhuman#alterbeing#therian#I think I will be learning a LOT more as I keep exploring and I will note down any 'rules' I learn - more like lessons but rules personally#sound more right for me. rules i will live by (yknow unless i find out im wrong but...im going to trust myself more and right now i feel#like this rule is true. so im using it as such unless i find out im wrong in future.
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Was always worried about the angst of unrequited love, had never realized the sheer amount of comedic potential that it has.
Imagine one-sided Superbat where Clark is fully aware that Bruce has a crush on him but is being his repressed self about it, and Clark is just like, “I’m not gonna touch that :) you’re going to figure that out for yourself, buddy, and in the meantime, I’m just going to have a good time and be best friends with you as you inevitably pull yourself together enough to either fall out of love or to confess :) and I’ll just let you down gently because I care about you :)” but he absolutely 100% is using it to his advantage in the meantime. His puppy dog eyes had never been so effective before. He’s gotten out of Monitor Duty three times in the past month.
#altho tbh personally if *I* were writing this all out I WOULD make requited superabt endgame#because it’s more fun#like clark is slowly falling in love with bruce while bruce is slowly coming to terms with being in love with clark#like bruce fell both faster and harder because. have u seen clark. who wouldn’t fold#meanwhile the justice league tease the shit out of bruce#and i picture clark as being a hell of a good actor because he HAS to be for his identity to work even more so than bruce or anyone else#so he’s very much able to keep his own feelings quiet when he realizes that he’s returning bruce’s love#and hey maybe u CAN bring the angst full circle back into this premise#like 1) clark believes somehow that people will inevitably fall out of love w him and that includes bruce#and 2) bruce when he finally figures out his own feelings for clark (way later than everyone else figured out him) probs realizes that clark#knew this whole damn time and didn’t say a word. and bruce is both justifiably mortified and falsely certain that clark does not return his#feelings because he’d have said smth by now if he did#even tho atp i would have clark return his feelings#also if u don’t believe clark wouldn’t 100% be a little shit about bruce’s feelings may i just present#literally everything he’s done to lois ever in every superman canon ever#<- i’m not saying that like he bullies lois or would bully bruce in this fic premise bc they both give it as good as they’ve got#and they very much pull a lot over clark so it all evens out or even falls in the other’s favor more often than not#anyway. yeah that’s my one (1) superbat fic premise.#part of the reason why i LOOOVE superbat and clois but haven’t written jackshit for either of them yet is that#i feel like there’s sooooooo many fics for both of them that i could not explore smth new with them ykwim#er well in the case of lois not just fics but like sooo many clois canons with their own takes and exploratons#superbat#superman#clark kent#batman#bruce wayne#simu's two cents#dc#also i wouldn’t touch the batkids with a ten foot pole.
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I think there would be a bit of an adjustment period for Edwin and Charles' dynamic post-confession. Just in the way that Charles probably already knew that Edwin let him get away with more than most people, just by virtue of their being best friends. But after the confession Charles has to ask himself if he's asking too much of Edwin just because his best friend is in love with him? Is he taking advantage of his friend's feelings or is this just how they've always been, or has it always been this way because Edwin's in love with him?
#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#Once again you all know I have no idea where I'm going with this#Probably it's another thing they actually have to talk about#Edwin does not feel like Charles is taking advantage of his feelings#He will not argue with Charles blatantly using puppy eyes on him as long as he gets to look at those puppy eyes#Or rather Edwin knows Charles and knows that Charles would not manipulate Edwin into anything he doesn't actually want to do#Just as he knows that Charles equally indulges Edwin in ways he would chew anyone else out for
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In Yellowjackets, they have girls in the woods that totally were there last season. That’s Patrick Brown - like you’re telling me he’s been here for several games? I just heard his name again and can’t comprehend he exists.
Patrick Brown is playing? I’m still not convinced he really exists.
#bruins lb#like does anyone else feel this way#maybe it’s because he’s only played a few games#but still
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devotionduo so codependent that when they try to be less so they end up hurting each other what if i kms
#mine.txt#zam hated being relied on so Heavily in s5 so now mapicc values team interindependence to a level that i dont think?? hes had before#which means hes taken more liberty in grinding for himself and his teammates a lot more than he used to#and because zam places a lot of value in himself in being the team grinder he feels useless and unneded#and since zams a huge grinder it means mapiccs main method of helping him is through violence but since hes a pacifist this season#and while technically zam is fine with other ppl killing and most importantly killing For him; he doesnt really have any beef that requires#killing as a form of revenge which means mapicc cant do the main thing that zam (and anyone else really) uses him for#and they both want to do and be more for the other but theyre stuck at a standstill cause theyre in uncharted territory#cause theyre friendly but not teamed (or even pseudo-teamed like in early s5)#i will say tho mapes more active in trying to find ways to hang out with zam#but if there isnt a clear opportunity to do so hes so Weird about it lmao like he basically just kinda. hovers over him lmao#whether in chat or otherwise#but when an opportunity Does present itself tho he seizes on it basically immediately#like the stalking is easy pickings but theres also gaias hand and literally anytime zam asks him to kill someone for him#ok but seriously tho the fact that mapicc basically declared them as teammates (even if its not official)#after he finished with the stalking was so sdfsdklaghsaljh#like bruh why does zam even have doubts about mapicc prioritizing him above everyone else he doesnt even do all that for his actual team 😭#devotions
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Ya know, Castlevania tackled the concept that life after defeating Dracula could be difficult for a Belmont with Richter feeling like he’d lost all purpose and reason to go on living if not for saving others and fighting against something—
But, do you think any of them before him felt that way too?
I mean it sounds kind of miserable, being raised your whole life to be solely relied on for one moment… and then what? How do you handle the sudden shift to ‘not being needed anymore’? Evidently, most of them didn’t have very much happen to them after the events of their games since we don’t get to know—
But, do you think any of them ever got better? Do you think anyone before Richter ever learned how to live for themselves? Did Richter?
Anyway it’s 8 PM and I’m sitting around wondering if any of the Belmonts were still happy after their happy endings (debatable if certain ones got happy endings tbh but anyway), Konami can u check on them, I’m worried—
#like do you think Trevor ever stopped going out looking for stragglers#do you think he couldn’t convince himself it was ever really over after Curse of Darkness#what do you think Christopher thought about handing the whip over to his son#do you think ever he wished he didn’t have to— do you think he hoped somehow he’d stopped it forever that last time#do you think Soleil felt the same after he had to past it on#how long do you think Simon thought about how he could’ve done it differently— do you think he thought he didn’t do well enough#do you think Simon died feeling like the family’s second failure#do you think Juste felt like his encounter didn’t count#do you think he and Maxim felt similarly about needing to be important#hmm just a lot of things to think about#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#text post#akumajou dracula#incoherent rambling#let me tell you when I say I have headcanons about tiny intricacies of characters#I have headcanons about tiny intricacies about characters—#like here’s one: Simon puts his hands on or scratches the back of his neck as a nervous tic—#he likes the color byzantine he puts his eartails back when fighting cause they get in the way he sleeps on his face cause his back hurts—#he jokes about the bad situations he’s in he idolizes people way too easily and he takes everything people say to heart but doesn’t show it#I think he probs didn’t take beating Dracula the first time very well if Richter’s possession being inspired by his Quest means anything—#aoouggh then I take the ending of CV2 the way I do and mannnnnnnnnn—#do you think he knew people would care about and look up to him so much after that?#does anyone else think about things like this?#ah the tragedy of the Belmont family#hmmm anyway—
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as alicent defender and alicole fan i really didn’t like this scene
#AND IF ANYONE ASKS#i know its not their fault#im not blaming them i just simply dont like how fast it happened and by fast i dont mean that alicole happened fast because they knew each#but yeah#each other’s for YEARS. i just wanted alicole scene without sex scenes and all we got was sex scenes i dont think they did anything wrong#bad grammar but anyway#does anyone else feel the same way??#alicole#house of the dragon#team green#alicent hightower#asoiaf#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#anti blood and cheese
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rambling abt my notetaking methods as someone with memory problems for @divorceblogger
i am not an organised person by nature, but in my apartment Everything Must Have Its Designated Place, and that place must be the most intuitive place i will look for something — keys Must be hanging by door, bc if i leave my keys literally anywhere else (coat pocket, bag) i will NOT remember and then i will not be able to lock my door & leave for the day. the goal is work with my brain, not against it. things should be in the most intuitive place possible, and if they can’t be, i should “leave a trail of breadcrumbs” in order to help myself find what i KNOW i will forget. this is also a strategy i apply to my world of Concepts and IdeasTM.
previously, i was organising my notes into a google doc where each entry was dedicated to a single book/chapter/essay, with (1) a summary of the text, (2) relevant quotations transcribed & cited, (3) my own thoughts responding to the material, and (4) other works in the bibliography that i should check out.
This presented several problems: google doc quickly became massive an unwieldy for a 2-year research project & v laggy
lots of closely related ideas existed in isolation bc it was organised by-book instead of concept-first
couldn’t remember where to find shite bc i would have to recall the exact book the idea was from to find it (BAD for the “trail of breadcrumbs” approach)
very linear process — read & summarised one text, moved on to the next. not letting ideas “accumulate“ (build upon each other) bc it was difficult to search/constantly have to refresh myself on notes i’d made six months to a year ago
~late 2021 or early 2022, this talk is what rly sold me on adopting obsidian. i started using obsidian as my primary notetaking tool, specifically for its ability to hyperlink between concepts & display those connections in graph view (picture above). it solved the problems above with the added benefits of being Not Google & being able to sync to my phone/ipad/laptop (via icloud).
now my process looks like:
Step One: Read the material in its entirety while highlighting and making notes in the margins
by entirety I mean like full article, full chapter. if it is a full book, this is going to take multiple sittings bc i only have the cognitive stamina to absorb one chapter at a time. trying to push thru mental fatigue will exacerbate memory problems into a self-fulfilling spiral. the highlighting & annotating is absolutely essential bc it lets me talk back to the book while reading, without the cognitive fatigue/loss of momentum of stopping read to type up notes, etc.
Step Two: Go thru the material again from the beginning, this time transcribing important quotations into a note
somehow people have gotten zotero to talk to their obsidian by tbqh i haven’t bothered bc i’m fairly fast at writing my citations, and the plugins rabbit hole seems like a massive upfront time investment to me.
Step Three: talk back to the material, write my own thoughts & summaries, make connections with other works/ideas
having obsidian as this big repository of my thoughts on previous books i’ve read, previous movies I’ve seen, concepts and defintions from essays, etc makes really easy for me to start writing a new note with my thoughts about something and just go “okay, I’ll put this concept in [[ square brackets ]] so it can link to my note with all my info on that subject rather than rooting thru one million notebooks or folders of misc notes and projects to find what I’d already written abt that subject”
Step Four: Break the material into smaller units of information
i breakdown/separate out my note on a single book/essay into several smaller interlinked notes abt the concepts covered. that way the information lives (with correct bibliographical citation) in a note titled with the concept, and then that note can get added to incrementally with each new book read. this allows my notes to be organised concept-first rather than book-first.
this — ESPECIALLY the part where i connect the notes to other notes — is a rly important part of the process bc it is the “leaving myself a trail of breadcrumbs” to be able to remind myself of concepts/ideas/texts i may have already encountered that feature similar ideas. if i am wondering if i’ve previously written anything on “regicide” i can click on the note called “regicide” and discover i’d written abt macbeth AND hamlet but not agamemnon and leave a note saying “come back to this and connect it to yr other ideas abt regicide as a form of [[patricide]] in [[agamemnon]]”.
Step Five: leave yrself “on ramps” to revisit notes as new concepts are added and connected
i can’t remember where i got this advice, but it was when you are writing more than can be achieved in a single sitting, leave yourself an “on ramp” before you finish for the day. like if i am coming back to something, maybe it’s not the next day but a whole week later. it is a lot more helpful if i open up a note i was working on and see “REMEMBER: YOU WANTED TO LOOK UP THE ETYMOLOGY OF THE WORDS FOR THREAD AND FATE TO SEE IF THERE IS A CONNECTION”
do not get caught up in “finishing” a note bc notes will be every-accumulating. work on something for as long as it serves you. if the amount of information is overwhelming, it probably needs to be broken down again into smaller concepts that can be hyperlinked together.
i think that covers most of it but i might come back to this later if there’s anything important i’ve forgotten. oh, yeah, also i love Umberto Eco’s How to Write a Thesis, but that’s less important if yr note writing a thesis, just trying to track info across many different texts for yr own purposes.
#future literature tag#academia tag#navposting#tagging u nav bc i feel like u hear me most often talk abt memory & academia#so many ppl tell me “i never realised any other way of working was possible until i saw you do [x thing i do to accomodate memory deficits]#and im angry on their behalfs that tools/strategies to accomodate memory problems are not more openly discussed#its a huuuuuge accessibility issue#also Shawn Graham who does the obsidian video has many other rly good articles on colonialism & the ethics of the human remains trade#for anyone else into classics/archaeology stuff
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day 30 - update is lame as hell but at least the new girl has a nice design. yuri beam.
#p101#pirate101#queen pirate101#oksana pirate101#queen#oksana#day 30#daily drawing#<- me when i lie#guuys im gonna be so real. the new p101 stuff has been so boring and bad .#like its so hard to care anymore. does anyone else feel this way aside from my circle or are we crazy
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i posted abt this on my tiktok story but i need to rant more so im putting it here 😭😭 the way a lot of mikosai shippers (on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, etc) are is such a big reminder to me of why i hate the strictly romantic soulmates trope with every fiber of my being 😭😭😭 people who interpret soulmates as "that means theyre canonically together" regardless of how the characters actually feel about each other and if they ACTUALLY get together is so fucking gross to me oh my god its so fucking gross i hate forced romance so bad 😭😭 someone cant just say "hey, we're soulmates so you HAVE to date me and its literally weird and impossible for you to like anyone else because i said so!!" and also aiura WOULDNT do that anyway ???? HELLOOO???
you have no idea how many people ive seen call all saiki ships with anyone other than aiura "problematic ships" just because "theyre soulmates"
#SOULMATES DOES NOT MAKE A COUPLE CANON <333#'she SAID theyre soulmates so that means hes HERS now and its gross for u to think he liked anyone else'#hey thats actually... really bad!! hey she actually cant and wouldnt force him to date her!!! hey what the fuck!!!#not a mikosai hate post#only weird forced romance likers hate post <3#if someone doesnt like someone then they dont like them... them being soulmates doesnt change that...#thats actually just not how it works and the idea that that WOULD be how it works is gross#and a lot of the fics ive read of them end up with aiura being all 'ha i told you so! i knew id break u eventually!'#'i knew id get to u if i just kept calling u my boyfriend without permission and saying we're soulmates!'#which like not only would she not do that... its also just really gross#like u really thought 'he doesnt like her so she wears him down and doesnt leave him alone until he relents' and like... u went with that?#oh...#weird...#idk maybe im crazy and also im having a hard time phrasing any of this#but it just brings up so many consent issues and it makes me really uncomfortable#like according to THOSE shippers it wouldnt be by his own will or feelings if he eventually fell in love with her#it would just be because the universe said so and he never had any choice#mikosai is so cute when u think of it in like the totally opposite way#in MY opinion i love mikosai AFTER aiura accepts that soulmates doesnt mean he HAS to date her#that HAS to happen before they date and THEN theyre really cute#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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“requiem for methuselah” crazy ass episode for many reasons. Kirk is being fully insane, like I don’t actually think, even controlling for how quickly and easily and readily he seems to fall in love with anybody at the slightest encouragement, that he’d go that bonkers for that android woman he just met while everyone on the ship was this close to dying, but that’s neither here nor there, because in the background you’ve got an equally but much more subtly insane episode for Spock, who extremely uncharacteristically admits to experiencing an emotion (or nearly experiencing, whatever) and that emotion is ENVY of all things. And then spends the rest of the episode warning Kirk away from this new love interest (something that doesn’t usually happen, even when Kirk has very inadvisable love interests) and is, in the end, the person who accurately identifies that Rayna’s competing love for Kirk and Flint is ultimately what overwhelms and destroys her with the most killer line in maybe history???
And then to wrap it up we get an equally uncharacteristic sort of denouement scene (TOS loooves to cut an episode off right after the actual climax, leaving little time for falling action or character reflection, or to stick a sitcom-y button on the end where the gang all smiles and laughs at their misadventures and everything resets to zero, which is not a criticism, it’s just the style of that era of tv, honestly) where Kirk is literally miserable over Rayna’s death (again, kind of unusual for a lot of his love interests, he tends to be able to move on pretty quickly) and Spock goes to see him and he falls asleep right in front of Spock (also odd) and then when Bones comes in to give the final word on Flint, Spock waves him off from waking the Captain (tender) and Bones gives him that awful speech about how it’s sadder that Spock can’t even imagine the love Kirk felt for this random android woman than it is that Kirk lost her in the first place (debatable but also rude) and how his great tragedy is that he can’t love at all like they can and how all he wishes is that Kirk could forget about all of this and move on. AND THEN, to have Bones leave and Spock go over to Kirk and very gently, tenderly, reluctantly touch him and put his hand to his forehead and tell him to forget and HAVE THAT BE THE END OF THE EPISODE??? What am I supposed to do with that??
#‘the joys of love made her human. the agonies of love destroyed her’ hUH. What a cool line.#hope it doesn’t become some sort of…thesis statement for you or something SPOCK#listen my number one beef with the way they write bones is that they just make him completely mischaracterize everything to suit the plot#this man is not an idiot he KNOWS Spock has emotions and just suppresses them#you’re going to tell me he’s been on that ship with Spock for years and thinks he feels no love whatsoever for anyone???#like even after what happened in the empath and in that episode where McCoy thought he was dying#he knows Spock loves people!!! COME ON#does he really just mean romantic love?? that’s so boring WRITE HIM BETTER#also they’re banking a lot on people remembering what the Vulcan mind meld is for that last bit#like I know it comes up a lot but…this is 1968 or whatever. They don’t have this shit on dvd to rewatch#you’re counting on really dedicated fan memory here or on people catching reruns#because otherwise it just looks like Spock waiting to be alone to touch Kirk as tenderly as possible and pray he forgets this woman#truly what’s going on#anyway I kind of hated this episode#like quite frankly there was too much going on#are androids people? would Kirk fall in love that hard that quickly and choose it over the safety of his crew?#why wasnt the illness ravaging the crew a bigger deal??#they didn’t even get into WHY flint was immortal#he was just a regular human and apparently the ONLY one who was granted immortality by the earth’s atmosphere#leaving aside the very creepy and very early born sexy yesterday trope going on throughout#but it was a really good Spock episode if you just….dont look at anything else….#the writer for this one also did Day of the Dove and Mirror Mirror which explains a LOT#two other episodes that are interesting for the character dynamics but really chaotic plot wise#anyway imagine saying to Spock’s face that he has no idea what love can drive a man to do#one has to laugh#tos#star trek#as always…. I’m sorry that I’m Like This
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new episode of what will fips suffer through today? answer is: internalized homophobia
listen. I know what others may think, but I cannot be convinced that he's actually into girls. he talks about his 'bunnies' a lot, especially in his first song, but that's kind of the thing. he talks too much about them. it's not really convincing. like he's trying to overcompensate, or trying hard to make people think he's straight (maybe to convince himself of being straight too)
sure, klaus mentions girls too in his songs, but it doesn't come off the same way. he's pretty chill with himself (in comparison to fips) and I doubt he'd lie about who he's attracted to if being asked. but fips? buddy is trying hard to come off as straight. he probably hasn't even fully realized he's actually only into men
considering they were growing up in the 15th century, being gay was labelsd as a sin and people actually got killed for it. you bet that barely anyone came out on their own will. now, fips was already getting tortured by the nuns for having magic powers, you don't even want to know what might have happened if he had even thought about liking a man
besides, it's obvious that he wants to keep up this sort of macho personality (something like a stud). so obviously he has to like girls, right? that's what fips thinks. he's supposed to like girls, there's nothing else possible. (it is)
he doesn't even consider anything else might be possible. he had always liked girls and he still does. anything else would be absurd. his female fans are fawning over him, and he enjoys the attention. (but he never liked any of them back, not as a romantic partner and not as anything else)
the facade he keeps up in the videos is kind of just,, acting. to convince himself of being heterosexual.
#jcu#osterhase (jcu)#osterhase#fips#poor fips#he suffers a lot doesnt he#like#this makes sense in my mind#does it to anyone else?#idk#you tell me#the way that talking about girls and his partners is so persistend makes it feel unreal#like hes just overcompensating for something#(could talk about this more later. if anyones interested)
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