#like damn. wish i had given him a kitten i wonder what would have happened

[noa-ciharu]

Thanks to our talk about modern X AU where Kamui opens onlyFans @parnshari07 here's the short humor, fluff, horny prompt about that idea 💕 mostly fuukam with some mentions of seisub.

*************

The moment Seishirou walked into Government building's headquarters he noticed two things.

First and foremost, Fuuma was covered in blood. Secondly, he was deeply concentrated on whatever he was watching on that phone.

Alright, first one was your casual Monday. Latter however, he suspected it had something to do with teenagers and their phone addictions. Not be like some old man with 'back in my day' speech but Seishirou couldn't count how many kids he was tempted to murder in cold blood these days just because they were watching videos in public. Where did proper manners go?

Seishirou approached his irresponsible leader and asked, fake curiosity in tone - "What are you so mesmerized by to not -"

Words died in his throat once he caught glimpse of just what precisely Fuuma was watching.

Damn.

Back in his days kids didn't act like this.

"Meow~" - moaned the video. Or rather other Kamui in it.

Boy was in maid outfit that had less material than his kitchen cloths. Skirt so puffy and short it was a minor miracle it covered anything. Judging by Fuuma's starved look that was probably the whole point.

Kamui had full kinky gear on - collar with cat bell, knee socks with kitten pattern on rim, fluffy black cat ears, gloves that resembled cat paws and even the tail. When he swirled around skirt almost hoisted up high enough to reveal panties - that is, if he was even wearing one.

Also tail's end went under dress rather than over. No room left for imagination when it was plugged in. That's what happens when four teenagers are left to live on their own with no adult supervision, Seishirou reflected. If anything those teenagers would end up influencing adults seeing where today's society was going. Seishirou hoped Subaru wasn't spending too much time with Kamui; for more than one reason.

"Shhh, you're spoiling my fun. I can't hear Kamui now", Fuuma protested, eyes still glued to the phone.

"Like there's anything to hear, he's just meowing", Seishirou deadpanned.

"Still, it could be important", Fuuma countered.

Kamui laid on back in such professionally slutty way that dress perfectly covered all extremely private parts but barely left anything to imagination. He's done this countless times before, Seishirou realized with mid disbelief. If this is who Seals rely on to save the world then they should book their grave places on local graveyards. Although given his equally perverted leader maybe that brat's slutty tactic will work; surely if Kamui appears in girl's school uniform to defeat a Kekai Fuuma would prioritize scheme how to rail him in public rather than how to destroy the world.

In retrospect maybe Kamui was a genius.

Said genius pulled at tail plug in the video and began moaning. Fuuma tightened his grip over phone to the point where his knuckles went white. He eased handchief from pocket and wiped away the sweat rolling down face.

"Damn I wish I was that tail", he groaned, like some horny teenager boy.

Ah scratch that - he was a horny teenager boy. Just with powers to destroy a whole world if unresolved sexual tension became tad bit too much to handle.

"You really have no shame huh?"

"Says you, who stalks same 'prey' for nine years but have no guts to meet him face to face" - Fuuma spit back and effectively shut him up.

Thankfully Kamui saved the day and spared Seishirou from further embarrassment. He rolled on his stomach, mewled and raised up on all fours. However camera was set from the front, so even if his panties (or naked ass) were revealed angle didn't capture it. Fuuma curser under breath and fanned himself with t-shirt's collar.

"I wonder if he'd meow when I shove my -"

"I don't need to hear the rest", Seishirou cut in before his pervert antichrist leader could offer obscenities beyond human imagination. Fuuma took another handchief from pocket and wiped sweat of face and neck again, like it was middle of the summer.

It was December.

Seishirou noticed white spots on blue handchief. Mentally faceplammed and asked - "Just how many times have you jacked off to Kamui jumping around in girl's clothes?"

"Yes"

Silence dropped. Seishirou couldn't fathom just why he hasn't walked out eons ago. Nor where other dragons of earth were; perhaps gave up on their leader long ago. He should have done the same. Nonetheless Seishirou couldn't help being intrigued by the source of blood on his leader.

"Did you kill someone out of sexual frustration or for the kicks?", he asked and regretted immediately for he'd rather not know the answer. Strange feeling, regret; rather sharp and cutting. This was the first time in his life Seishirou felt it. He had a hunch that if he stayed in Fuuma's company for too long he'd feel it on regular basis.

"Yes. Two guys had a wish to get their hands on Kamui after seeing his video. Can you imagine how I felt when I read their wishes?"

No, Seishirou wanted to respond but for a brief second imagined how he'd respond if Subaru pulled off a similar trick back in the day. Just with puppy outfit, he had closer resemblance to a kicked sad puppy than frisky kitten. Oh how that would have made his blood boil; mere thought of other men desiring what was his would make him see red.

"I wouldn't know", Seishirou lied thought his teeth.

"Meow~ that's it for this week", Kamui murmured as he got up and sat on bed.

"Next week I'll have a special guest. Untill then..." - he left sentence off trailing and oh so slowly began spreading legs. Seishirou seriously suspected he was wearing anything underneath that dress.

Fuuma brought phone closer and closer to his face; feral look in eyes, it was a minor miracle his pants haven't ripped at front from the tent he was pitching; yes, he was salivating too.

"Meow and bye bye!"- Kamui ended the video before anything explicit could be shown.

Fuuma groaned and threw the phone across the room. Poor device probably shattered; or maybe not so poor, given it was source of all idiotic behavior of today's youth. Deserved. Seishirou gloated and began grinning at Fuuma's horny jealous misery untill he replayed Kamui's parting words. Then it drawn down on him. No way...

"Just who is he bringing into video next week?", Seishirou asked warily.

"Who do you think?"

"Subaru-kun is too shy and modest to do things like that", Seishirou retorted in a heartbeat. Of course his Subaru would never act so wantonly, let alone for the camera. Although mere thought of Subaru acting so libertine made his mouth water. But there will be hell to pay if anyone got to see him like that.

"Maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do", Fuuma teased like the brat that he is.

Such condescending idiot. No way Subaru would join that slutty brat in his insanity. Subaru had stable job, there was no need for him to resort to such degrading acts. Although that got him wondering why precisely Kamui was doing what he was doing seeing he had free roof over head.

Really a head-scratcher.

"Anyhow, will you give me a hand?", Fuuma beamed and leaned back into the seat.

"I'll give you a hand in manslaughter if situation requires it", Seishirou responded and put sunglasses back on.

"But I'm not giving you a hand in that", he glanced down at Fuuma's groin to prove the point. He didn't know what Fuuma meant for sure but would rather not risk it. After all, this is the guy that stole his 'top pervert' title, he'd be down for anything and everything. Who knows it with him. Better be safe than sorry, meaning ending up in cat ears and maid outfit.

"I'll be looking forward to your shocked face next week when Sumeragi appears on tape in nurse outfit"

Having enough of Fuuma's nonsense Seishirou turned around and walked out of room without saying another word. He was so pent up, this brat stressed him too much with this inanity. He gotta unwind somehow, probably stalk Subaru for couple of hours.

**************

Week later Subaru appeared in Kamui's video in sexy nurse outfit. They got 1 million views in less than an hour. Seishirou vowed to join Fuuma in his 'get world rid of people who saw my prey's slutty side' mission.

[yousaytomato]

How are the "give Renfield a cat" tribe feeling today?

[lady-z-writes]

I was asked to write a sequel for this Heisenberg x Reader where Reader is an American visiting the village and her crop tops and booty shorts have caught the eye of Heisy. She's very intrigued by the village and has asked Heisy to let her stay with him instead of the little inn...

Purely smutty part 2 ahead:

The walk up to the factory proves to be cold for you in your little outfit. He sees the chill bumps on your skin. Yes, he's looking. Yes, you notice the side-glances from behind his glasses.

He hadn't really offered to take your bag when you checked out of the inn but you sort of tossed it at him so he begrudgingly shoulders it on the hike.

He's...intrigued by you. Your spunk, your audacity. It's off-putting yet he kinda likes it.

"You live in a factory?" your eyebrows raise as you cross the bridge.

He's puffing on a cigar, the smoke wafting behind him as the wind picks up.

"What'd you expect?"

You give him a once-over and he'd be lying if he said it didn't thrill him to have your eyes on him. "Good point."

The urge to push you against the wall and pin you there is strong. Entering his domain, he feels a sense of control returning and he's making an effort to behave himself.

A loud thud makes you jump, drawing closer to him. He can feel your body heat, almost reaches up to grip your hair and pull you nearer.

His hand falters to your side, a gentle touch - just one - but you notice.

He wishes he had his gloves off, wants so badly to feel how soft your skin is, to touch those chill bumps, bruise you and watch you squirm beneath him.

You draw closer despite his stillness. It's like you can read his expression, can see the gears turning as he thinks the most impure thoughts.

And then you do the most curious thing.

You touch him.

A simple touch - your right hand on his forearm - but he feels it, thanks the heavens that he'd left his jacket off and rolled his sleeves up.

His mouth is dry, suddenly doesn't have any witty retort. He meets eyes with you, letting out a deep exhale that teeters on a growl around the edges.

And you break the silence:

"Do you have any whiskey?"

Wonders never cease.

You're a good time, he decides as you're halfway through your drink. You've wandered around a bit and inspected his makeshift office.

He'd taken you a specific route to get there, doesn't want to turn you off with his metal army before this can go wherever it's going.

"And you're here by yourself?"

He raises an eyebrow at that. "...yes?"

It's been silent since you thanked him as he poured whiskey, which is odd. He thinks you must have been deep in thought and is intrigued that this is what you come back with.

"That's surprising to me," you set your drink down, walk over to him. He clears his throat, trying to look at your face and not your tits.

"Is it?" This is the most he's spoken to you, he realizes.

You don't owe him this compliment. You don't owe him anything and he's finding it challenging to grasp this. Why would you, a tourist, come to his residence and compliment him?

He's fighting off those negative thoughts, trying to tell himself that not everything is manipulation; but his experiences have routed his brain to fire at defensiveness as an instinct.

He doesn't have much more time to process this before your lips are pressing against his.

To his surprise, he kisses you back.

It's instant, your reaction once he's leaned into you: you pull him closer, let your hands trail down his shoulders. The chill this touch sends through him...

Then suddenly it's like you're reawakened, remembering yourself:

"I'm sorry - I'm so sorry if this is too much," you suddenly break away from the kiss, just the slightest bit but he's pulling you closer, almost bruising in his next move.

You've made a mistake, he's sure, and in the next two minutes he'll let you walk out of the factory unharmed - mostly because he's still a little shell-shocked this is happening - but after that? Two more minutes and you're his.

The kissing continues, intensifies. You force his gloves off and you let him touch you; his fingers on your flesh, tracing down your exposed stomach in that shirt. You're warm, real, and it's making him lose control bit by bit.

"What do you want?" he manages in a growl when he has you pressed against his desk.

His eyes are closed behind those glasses and you see the tension in his jaw.

"K-Karl," you hum, slightly out of breath from the intensity of the moment. "I want you, isn't it obvious?"

It's enough.

It's everything.

He's letting you kiss him and undress him and - God - it's been too long since he's been wanted. He's losing himself, can feel the guarded demeanor just melt away with every caress, every sigh.

Your hands travel between his legs and Heisenberg groans at the stiffness of his cock. He's so hard for you, it's flattering.

Before he knows it he's let you strip him of his shirts, unbuckle his belt. His bare hands stroke over your soft clothes before he pulls those off too.

Staring at your tits, he dips down to pop your left nipple in his mouth, fingers playing with your right one. There's no hesitation, no asking for permission, no denying the pleasure you both seem to crave from each other.

His cock is leaking by the time you pull him from his pants. The relief from your touch doesn't last long and he can tell you're eager to blow him but he can't wait any longer.

Pulling your panties off, he lets his fingers fumble over your clit before jutting a finger inside you. Greed consumes him as he works you toward your first orgasm; muscles clenching around him, warm wetness reigniting a long-buried desire in him.

When he's satisfied, he pulls from you, coats his cock in your wetness, then lines himself up with your eager pussy.

"A bed?" you gasp at him.

He shakes his head. "No. Now."

"Karl," you gasp, trying to press against him.

He almost uses his powers and then he remembers he's faking good - playing a role - not ready to steer you away, especially not now.

"Quit being a cocktease," he mumbles.

You raise a brow at him. "So he has a spine? Fascinating."

Oh, you wouldn't believe the half of it.

"You gonna spread those pretty legs or am I gonna have to get creative?"

You don't reply, but your body shifts closer to the edge of the desk he's seated you on and you shove your hips against him in a slow thrust.

His grip is bruising when he spreads your legs for you. He's learning how much of a brat you are and...he kinda likes it - the fight in you, the fire.

You're gripping at his neck when he slides into you and he just about busts at the moment. Fuck, it's like you're exposing all of his needs right in the moment. He feels exposed yet oddly safe.

You're so wet for him and he, of course, has to mention it several times; is proud of it, impressed. It gets better when he keeps constant pressure on your clit, pressing a thumb against it and rubbing deep, slow circles.

You cum. You cum on his cock and he chokes on air at the muscles tightening around him, the way you squeeze him as you're panting out his name and knotting your fingers in his hair.

"So good, fuck, so good," you gasp.

The mouth on you...

You're unlike anything he's ever seen. To have you fucked so good on his desk, it almost feels like a dream.

Before you get too comfortable, he pulls back, slips out of you, forces you to your feet. Shaky legs steady you and he spins you around and shoves your face against the desk. He's probably bruised your cheek from the pressure, but you don't seem to mind.

Easily, his cock finds your pussy and he glides right back in. Eyes closed, he throws his head back as he slowly starts a steady pace in you.

Glory. What glory.

And when you say, "damn it, oh fuck, Karl...gonna make me cum again," he feels his cock twitch inside of you, knows that he's too far gone.

"Mmm, quickly, kitten," is all he can get out before you're rutting back against him.

He lasts longer than he expects, really, given the circumstances.

You almost don't get off again before he's pulling back from you to spill all down your lower back.

The moment you feel him shifting, you throw your weight back against him.

"No, in me. Karl, please...I'm...it's safe,"

He doesn't really comprehend all that - not after hearing you tell him to cum inside of you.

It's too late, he's officially too far gone to hold back anymore and he cries out as a powerful orgasm overwhelms him.

You're cumming too, based on the noises you're making and the way you're slamming yourself back against him in desperate fervor. It just adds to his rutting into you; so powerful, fingers digging into the flesh on your hips.

"Fuck, take it," he pants, enjoying the moment. "Such a fuckin' cocktease strutting around town like that," he's rambling at this moment, sounding like an old drunk as he comes down from his release, letting you ride yours out. "Been thinking about this all day - this pretty sight - fucked so good..."

You're practically flat against the desk now, ass on display for him as he slowly slides his half-hard cock out of you.

The room is filled with a humidity he hadn't felt before; with a silence now that the ringing in his ears is done.

You're looking over your shoulder at him, hair a mess, some of his cum dripping out of you.

What a beautiful sight. Picture perfect, really.

"Holy fuck, Karl..." you gasp with a laugh.

He lights a cigar, stands there perfectly naked, just looking at you. You feel like an art exhibit.

"You mentioned a bed," he raises a brow at you. "And I'm not finished with you yet, kitten."

You accept the invitation without blinking.

[lovee-infected]

Husband!Leona x Housewife!Reader: Birthday surprise

As you have your birthday today, Leona has a plan to prepare a party for his one and only beloved wife; however, uncle Ruggie and your babies almost burn the house down to ashes when you're out...

Happy birthday @jessamine-rose !♡ Now suffer-

Warning(s): None, just a review on Leona's chaotic father experiment trying to babysit his neko babies.

Note: This work is the continuation of a personal au I wrote for @jessamine-rose s/o and Leona have 3 adorable kittens (babies) in this au; The elder two are twins , a girl named Kaede and a son named Haruki while the baby gremlin is a sweet but chaotic cinnamon roll girl named Lucy (Lulu).

At last, it's here: The big day. Not only Leona seems have been expecting this day to arrive for months, or perhaps, he's been waiting ever since you had your previous birthday last year.

Not that you thought previous birthday celebrations with them lacked anything specific or was incomplete in a recognizable way; but it didn't change the fact that you didn't seem to have enjoyed them either.

Leona is the prince of the afterglow Savannah, after all. As her wife your birthday was nothing less than a national holdiday and he always tented to prepare royal celebrations ever since you married him.

But for some reason, that formal and majestic aura seemed to bother you in a way; perhaps because you preferred to be actually spending time with Leona and your family instead of having to stay in the same spot for hours with your back straightened as you greet thousands of strangers and the rest of the royal family.

Not that you ever spoke of how uncomfortabe and annoying all of those birthday ceremonies were, but you almost let out a relived sigh when Leona tells he isn't going to put out another of those extravagant celebrations.

The night before your birthday, Leona comes to you and mentions hoe it's been a while since the last time you had some time for your own, and he's right: From the day you gave birth to lulu you've been awfully busy with housework and caressing your babies; not that your life could be any sweeter than it is now but you had to admit- You somehow missed the old days when you had more time to spend on your own...

Leona recommends you take a day off, as a birthday treat! You're free to go shopping, take a short vacation to the beach or simply go to your favorite cafe and enjoy your favorite drinks and beverages in peace, meanwhile Leona would take care of the house and kittens so you can have today for your own and all~

Of course you accept his offer, you give him a small kiss on cheek and thank him, the two of you head to your bedroom and you are given the opportunity to sleep on Leona's warm chest for the rest of the night.

Thus you leave the house the next morning after, and now it's time for Leona's secret plan. He's already prepared anything, your favorite flowers, your favorite desserts and food, a very expensive perfume you had liked before, color-matching costumes for both him and the kittens, tiny cute accessories to decorate the house with and at last, tens of gifts from different things he sure knows that you'll love.

Ruggie is charge of cooking, so he gets to preparing muffins and cupcakes while Leona takes care of decorations: Designing the entire house with flower petals, baloons and colorful ribbons would've taken him hours if he were to do that by hand, but using his extraordinary magic skills, the whole house is perfectly decorated and prepared in a second *Chef's kiss.*

Just as Leona is about to let out a proud smirk and return to kitchen to see how Ruggie is doing with he cooking, he hears a sound. He turns his head to find no one but baby Lulu, chewing the decorations.

He runs to her and takes the ribbons out of her mouth, opening her mouth a second time and carefully look through it to see if she's eaten any of them or not. Oh God, he promised that he'd take care of everything when you're out, he just can't let you return home and find out that your baby has swallowed paper, what will you even think of him? Irresponsible partner? Unworthy father? No, he must make sure that baby lulu would be all same and sound until you return home.

He hugs Lulu and puts her on a corner with several baloons to play with, far from anything dangerous she could chew but then baby Lulu discovers a new hobby: popping balloons.

Her tiny fangs have just popped out and her gums often hurt, so she just wants to get her fangies on anything she could chew or bite and wow, this baby is not only totally unaffected by the loud sound of balloons popping right into her face but also finds it quite amusing. Baby begins to laugh loudly and chase after more balloons to chew as she has discovered a new hobby, and before Leona could've stopped her, she pops 5 more balloons with just one bite-

Leona picks her up immediately because if Lulu continued to chew balloons like this nothing of them would be left until you get home-

- But all of a sudden, he smells something rotten, followed by a trail of smoke coming from kitchen. He immediately puts Lulu down and runs back to the kitchen to see what in the great seven's name is happening there-

Leona jumps into the kitchen- just to find Kaede and Haruki screaming and crying as Ruggie's trying to take the black-rotten cupcakes out of the oven. Leona asks what the hell has happened and Ruggie explains he was too busy separating the twins because they couldn't stop arguing whether their mama would like caramel syrup as the topping or sprinkles, so Ruggie totally forgets about the overcooked muffins and cupcakes in the middle of their arguments.

Leona tells him to pull himself and start over- But Ruggie aruges that he won't be able to concentrate on both babysitting and cooking if that's how it's going to be. Leona growls and tell Ruggie to stop being such a wacky hyena and just get back to work without messing up again- And Ruggie explodes.

He starts shouting, Ruggie legit starts shouting in a rare, angry tune which terrified everyone even Leona. He roars that he won't be doing shit until Leona actually pays him for once, and the two start arguing. Just as the chaos is burning the kitchen down, Lulu decides uncle Ruggie's leg looks quite delicious to bite, and in a matter of second Ruggie is screaming as the baby lion's fangs literally pierced into his flesh.

The whole house is filled with smoke, Lulu has taken the entire decorations down and Leona's trying to seprate baby Lulu's fangs from Ruggie's leg. Twins are terrified, so the silently sneak out of the kitchen to call the right person to come for help...

It's past 10 pm when you're done with your day off. You've been giggling over how a day off was just what you needed after a long time, you had told Leona to call if anything went wrong, and thankfully, you didn't receive any calls from him while you were out. Leona really seems to have toughed it out as a father, huh?

You knock at the door, waiting for someone to open it. After a 3 minute delay you take a small look through the house and realize the lights are off. You just get in using your keys and suddenly, a loud "SURPRISE!" makes you jump back and the lights are back on, revealing Farena, Cheka, your kittens and very, very very tired-looking Leona and Ruggie standing in front of you. Leona gives you a weak smile as your confused gaze meets him, at last, they managed to clean the mess up before you got home.

Twins welcome you with a warm hug as they lock their tiny arms around your waist, digging their faces into soft fabrics of your clothes as if they hadn't met you in days, and of course, 12 hours of chaos without mama at home is enough to make them want to never be left alone in the house with uncle Ruggie and dad again-

Ruggie is trying his best not to be rude but he quickly approaches you, wishes you a very happy birthday and excuses himself saying he really needs to be home by this hour. You question the bandages wrapped around his leg, asking if he's alright? Ruggie just- Gulps nervously before turning his head back and stare at Leona who is holding Lulu... Ruggie nods quickly and leaves your house asap, poor boy... maybe you should call him sometime later and asking if he's doing fine?

Back to the party, Farena chuckles as he tells you how his younger brother has been DESPERATELY making plans for his beloved wife's birthday for nearly two months-! Farena explains that Leona even refused to accept Farena's help when he was firstly coming up with the plans, but Leona insisted that he wanted to manage everything on his own.

Aaaaaw Leona's face is a must-see now, his ears dropped down in mild embarrassment and frustration, feeling like a silly child in front of you. Damn- If it was on him he wouldn't have asked for Farena's help once in a thousand years even if if Ruggie and him had ended up burning the entire house; but he must admit, he's glad that twins asked for his help because- It would've been impossible to manange to do all the work on time without his help.

Aaah at least your birthday party didn't turn out to be a horrible mess, but at what cost? Great seven, he was supposed to be your one and only man tonight but right now he's nothing but a fuzzy cat wanting to pass put on his bed.

Yet he still manages to keep his eyes open, at least until you're done with the birthday party and Farena and Cheka are finally out; leaving him alone with you. Gosh, he looks so- you can't even find tje right adjective to describe this but all you can say for now is that you've never seen him this tired before.

You gently take Lulu, who has already fallen asleep in his arms and take her to her bed, asking Leona if babysitting her was difficult by any means. Leona tiredly shakes his head in a no, saying how much of a wonderful girl she was when you were away, and you can tell how much of an awful liar he is.

When the kids are asleep, you come to sit next to a lifeless Leona on couch, damn, just what happened to this household when you weren't around?

Leona's too tired to explain, he just sighs and apologizes for your birthday not being even *close to the best it could be, just to meet your laughter.

Oh lord, he is being quite desperate at the moment ha? Leona was always the dominative and demanding one, to have him serve ypu on your birthday... Oh dear, isn't that already the best birthday gift possible?

You excitedly start to tell him how this birthday was just the best you could've ever asked for: Freedom, A golden time to be spent for your own desires and not anyone else, and aside all of these, you return home just to face a secret party waiting for you!

But most importantly: He had gone through all of these... for you, to make you happy.

You tightly hug him, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing his face closer to yours. Aaaa he looks so cute like this, just like a tired pouty can wanting you to spoil him and to be honest, he's going to need you spoil him for a week at least for him to recovers from that 12 hours of chaos.

It's been a long day, for both you and him. So he just kisses your forehead and bridal carries you to your bedroom afterwards; wrapping his strong arms and thighs around you and jailing you in his embrace. You gasp at the warmth, truth be told having your face burried in Leona's firm chest like this was something you never got used to even after being married to him for years. Damn lion knew how to leave a flushed mess out of you, huh? You chuckle as you struggle to release yourself but hell, the jerk simply pretends that he's already fallen asleep.

Just as Leona's arms are jailing you into his embrace he wonders, today probably didn't turn out to be as good as he'd planmed but well... at least you're happy. That's what he wanted when he whet out of his way planning for today, after all. But he can tell the experiment made him come to appreciate you even more, thinking that you've been caressing all three of your babies for years all on your own while Leona wouldn't have even made it for half a day if Farena hadn't saved him...

[coffee-and-quill]

Birthday Wishes Pt. 2

Stucky x Reader: You have been feeling neglected lately, but Bucky and Steve promised they would be there for your birthday. When they don’t show up, you are left feeling broken, and they are left wondering how they will every make it up to you

Authors Note: It took a long time to figure out how I wanted to end this. Relationships are hard, they are constant work and give/take. It takes communication and understanding for all parties to feel heard and loved. I hope y’all enjoy, and please let me know if there’s anything else you would like to see from me!

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It had been three weeks since Steve had seen you, talked to you, held you in his arms. Three weeks of radio silence, and it was killing him. He and Bucky had gone to your parent’s house the morning after they discovered you were missing. As if they weren’t feeling awful enough, the icy look your mother had given them so different from the warm, caring smile they were used to, sent shockwaves through their chests. Steve had begged to talk to you, but your mother had told them that you had left early that morning. You were going somewhere they couldn’t find you or bother you. When Bucky had tried to get more information, she had slammed the door in their faces.

              It took two more days of searching and desperation to figure out that Tony had helped you go completely off grid. “It’s not my place to tell you where she is, you shouldn’t have fucked up this bad,” the billionaire had told them when they tried to force your location out of him. He wasn’t wrong, and that set a heavy weight on their chests like nothing they had never felt before.

              Steve tried to go back to work, but every time he tried to buckle down and focus, or to accept a mission, he thought of your face. What if you wanted to talk to them? What if you came back and he was so caught up in his work again that he lost you for good? He might have already lost you, and the thought alone was enough to bring him to his knees gasping for breath. He felt small, smaller than he’d ever felt in his life. He would take being a sickly, scrawny kid in the 40s over these feelings any day. It got to the point where Fury told him to go home and not come back until his head was in the game again. “At this rate,” the director had grumbled, “You’re likely to get yourself or someone else seriously hurt if you continue as you are.” Steve didn’t argue. Instead, he slumped home, collapsed on the couch, and sobbed. Pain and heartbreak were the only things he knew anymore.

              Bucky was no better. After the acceptance that there was no finding you until you wanted to be found, the former assassin completely shut down. He barely ate and never slept anymore. How could he when there was the constant reminder that you were no longer in his life, no longer snuggled safely between Steve and him. The nightmares came back full force. He had almost forgotten what it was like to wake up screaming in a cold sweat. Now, instead of visuals of Hydra and the chair, and the blood and death that followed him like a storm, he had nightmare of you telling him you were done with him. You told him with a stone face that you’d never loved him, that you could never love a murderer, and you left with him begging and screaming on the floor. During the day he stayed in bed. He felt useless and weak, so, so weak. He was used to suffering, used to the constant weight of guilt on his chest. But this, this feeling, this guilt was far worse. People are constantly telling him that his actions as the Winter Soldier were not his fault, but this was all on him. There was no scapegoat, no evil organizations pulling the strings, no excuses, no one else to blame but himself. He was the reason you were gone, and it was destroying him.

 ()()()()()()()()()

                Three weeks, and you were feeling like absolute shit. You barely slept, ate only what you could unwrap in seconds, and you’re pretty sure you haven’t showered in at least a week. You couldn’t tell what day it was; time seemed to slip and slide together in a meaningless fuzz in your mind. Most days found you on the small couch of the cabin Tony had so graciously offered you, the TV on a low hum in the background playing some sort of celebrity reality program. Not that you really cared. Nothing really held your interest for long anyway. Your thoughts were stuck back in your apartment with your boys. You kept replaying the better times over and over, trying to figure out where you went wrong.

Back when you first got together, Steve and Bucky had been so sweet, so shy when bringing up the idea, so afraid that you would turn them away and they would lose the best thing that had happened to them since they were reunited. When you told them you wanted to give it a try, they had been ecstatic. Their excitement was infectious, buzzing around you like two overenergized puppies who had just been given the best treats of their lives. Those first few months had been blissful, none of you willing to be parted from the other longer than a day or so. You went on dates, ate crappy Chinese food together, snuggled up to each other on the cold nights.

You were crying again thinking about those times. You missed being with your boys more than ever, missed the connection and the feeling of safety and security. You missed the two people who knew you better than you could ever know yourself. You had been stuck on a loop for the past three weeks. Where did it go wrong? When did it happen and how did you not notice? Was it you? God, if you could only talk to them. You had so many questions, so many concerns. Mostly, however, you just wanted a hug. You just wanted to be held between your Stevie and your Bucky and you wanted to feel loved.

It had been around midday, after shoving down a lukewarm hot pocket, that you heard the front door of the cabin click open.

“Damn,” came the snarky voice of Tony Stark, “You look worse than I did after that one Easter party I threw.” Even through the fog in your brain, you couldn’t help but smile.

“That was your own fault, Stark,” you sassed, “Who the hell takes that many tequila shots at a brunch party?”

The billionaire scoffed. “Obviously you have no sense of danger, babe.” You flipped him the finger. “So,” he said, lifting your feet up so he could make himself comfortable on the cushy couch, “It’s obvious to me and to literally everyone else that something went on between you and the two super stooges back home. And by the way they have been moping around the tower and by the grease buildup in Barnes’ hair, they are fairing about as well as you.”

Your ears perked up at the information. You should feel satisfied that Steve and Bucky were feeling miserable for what they did. You should feel relieved that they are getting a taste of what they put you through. Instead, you just felt your heart sink into your stomach. No matter how angry you were at them, you could never stand the thought of them in pain.

“I’m not saying the two don’t deserve it,” Tony continued, “I’m just saying that if your going to make them suffer, at least do it in a way that you aren’t suffering as well.”

“I don’t want to make them suffer,” came you soft reply.

“No?”

“I was hurt.” The tears that had been gathering in your eye dripped down your face at your watery tone. “I was hurt, and angry, and I just felt like I had to run to escape those feelings, so I came here. But the longer I stayed, the less hurt and angry I felt. And then the sadness and loneliness came and I felt like I was drowning, and all I wanted was to be back with them. But I had already stayed away for so long. What if they don’t want me anymore? Or they think we can fix things? What if they realize they aren’t willing to try, Tony? I don’t think I could handle that.”

Tony scrubbed his hand over his face and let out a huge breath. “I can’t answer those questions for you, sweetheart. Lord knows if I could take the pain away, I would. But nothing is going to happen with you sitting here and refusing to talk to them.” You nodded, knowing that what he was saying was logical. You couldn’t solve anything by sitting around and moping, and lord knows you won’t solve anything by running away.

You took a deep breath “Ok. I’m ready to come home.”

“Good.” Tony stood up and adjusted his suit. “Because honestly, the boys have start loitering outside my lab looking like a couple of drowned kittens, and it’s depressing everyone.” He held out his hand for you, which you graciously took, standing and hissing out your cramped muscles. Tony took one step towards the door before stopping suddenly and turning back. “Maybe you should shower first. You stink like that casserole Clint tried to make for dinner that one time.”

Tony barely dodged the chipped mug thrown at his head.

 ()()()()()()()()()

                When you showed up to the apartment you shared with Bucky and Steve, your nerves had been on fire. Steve had opened the door looking he hadn’t slept since you had seen him last. His eyes widened and his arms twitched towards you instinctively, wanting to wrap you in in them and never let go. He held himself back, though it left a deep ache in his chest to do so. You wanted nothing more to go to him, to card you fingers through his hair and reassure him that everything was fine, that you were here and you would never leave again. You had to clutch the straps of your bag until your knuckles were white to stop yourself.

              “We need to talk.” Your voice was small, fragile. You wanted to run and hide all over again, but you knew this needed to be done. Steve nodded jerkily, widening the door to allow you to enter. Visually, everything looked the same; the couch was in the living room, blankets thrown haphazardly across the back, and the table sat in the kitchen with its three mismatched chairs and well-loved surface. However, as you moved further into the space, you noticed a staleness to the air that hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t a home anymore, and the thought made you frown deeply.

              Steve closed the door softly behind you. “I’ll go get Bucky,” he murmured, and you shivered. God help you, you were so in love with these men. Even tired and beat down, Steve’s voice still had an effect on you. It reminded you of soft kisses over bare skin in the early morning hours before the rest of the world was awake, of tender love and honey sweet words spoken between breathy moans.

              You pushed the memory to the back of your mind as Steve reentered, Bucky following close behind. You felt your breath catch at his appearance. He looked broken. Dark circles fell under lightless eyes, the grief and despair that sat heavy on his shoulders was visible in the hunch he wore, as if he was being physically crushed by its weight. You could have honestly cried if it were a different situation.

              At the sight of you standing in the living room, he cracked a smile that looked almost painful. “Hey, Doll. I missed you,” he rasped. Hi voice was scratchy and rough from crying. Despite the somber tension that hung in the room like mist, you felt a sense of peace wash over you at the presence of your boys. Despite your nerves, despite your fears and reservations, you smiled at them. The tension melted from Bucky and Steve’s shoulders, and you knew everything would be okay. You could do this.

 ()()()()()()()()()

                The three of you spent hours talking. You told them everything: your fear of being left behind and forgotten, your frustrations with always feeling second place to the duties as avengers, the anger of that night and the emotions of the last three weeks. In turn, they shared their guilt and frustration at their own actions. They told you how they felt that being avengers was the only thing they could do to help people, it was the only thing they knew, and they had been scared to deviate from that routine, even when it had started pushing you away. They shared the fear they felt at finding you gone, and the terror and grief that had set in when they realized you might not come back and that was it for the three of you. Finally, they shared their confession that nothing they had done or would ever do as avengers would be more important than you. They wanted to change, to get better. They wanted to do it for you.

              What started as you sitting across from them quickly transitioned into the three of you cuddled together on the couch, seemingly one entity. Weeks of no contact had starved the boys of your touch, and they couldn’t remove themselves from you if they wanted to. Bucky lay across you legs with his head in your lap, his arms wrapped around your waist. You hand was tangled in his hair, massaging the base of his skull. Your other hand was gripped tightly in Steve’s as you leaned back into his broad chest. His blond head rested comfortably on your shoulder, turned inward to whisper his apologies into the exposed skin of your neck. Every once and a while he would leave a lingering kiss there, the skin tingling nonstop from the feel of his lips. You felt more relaxed than you had in weeks. That night you fell asleep in your bed, bracketed by the two most important people in your life. You would be okay.

[ikeromantic]

A Moment, No More

Written for @lazy-angel-kitten as part of my 500 follower celebration

Mitsuhide, Moments, Something Blue, Angsty!

Approx. 1400 words

Mitsuhide walked through the castle in the cool morning. Pale light gilded the crown of his hair and lit his amber eyes with a soft glow. Anyone that saw him would say he was beautiful. Anyone but the woman he had eyes for.

She was already up, her hair tucked into a bun at the back of her head. A few wisps already sought escape, curling around her delicate ears and the tender skin at the back of her neck.

His fingers sought that silken thread, and he wondered if each strand would feel as soft as he imagined it.

The chatelaine looked up, noticing him finally. A wary smile turned up the corners of her lips and crinkled the edges of her eyes. “Good morning Mitsuhide!”

“It is morning. Whether or not it is good . . .”

She laughed. “That’s exactly the kind of answer I expected from you.”

Mitsuhide felt a real smile threaten the mask he kept so firmly in place. “I am glad I could amuse you, but next time I will need to be less predictable.” He gave a little bow.

“Then I will look forward to it.” She reached over and patted his arm. Her hand was warm, her touch gentle.

He leaned into the touch, his body obeying its own natural laws, whatever his mind asked of it. “I brought you something.”

“A gift?” She looked up.

Mitsuhide held up a tiny bellflower and turned it in his fingers for her to see. Then he tucked it into her hair. The strands were as soft as he’d imagined. Better, even. And though it was a silly gesture, seeing her wearing Akechi blue made his heart glad. But not as glad as the soft smile that lit her eyes. That made her glow.

“Thank you.” Her hand fell away from his arm, though she didn’t step back. Her eyes met his and Mitsuhide felt his heart stir in his chest.

And then the spell broke, and the moment was gone as if it had never happened. Hideyoshi stepped out of the nearby door, his smile wide and satisfied. “I thought I heard your voice! Did you need help with-” He noticed Mitsuhide. The lack of distance between them.

“I was just wishing our chatelaine good morning.” Mitsuhide’s smile hurt but he’d rather die than let it go.

Hideyoshi’s brows drew together as he struggled with himself.

Mitsuhide waited to see what would win out. His mother hen side? His big brother complex? Or the budding love that he had yet to acknowledge?

“That’s unusual.” Hideyoshi’s eyes narrowed. “Did you need something?”

“No, in fact, I was just on my way out.” Mitsuhide gave them both a slight bow.

“Have a good day,” the chatelaine called.

Hideyoshi watched in contemplative silence until Mitsuhide was out of sight.

Mitsuhide could hear the chatelaine’s high, sweet voice even over the sounds of the castle staff as he made his way to the gate. Her voice followed him all day. From teahouse to merchant’s stall, to the docks. He couldn’t make out the words, just the sound. Like a distant song.

And then he spotted her. She was nearly at the end of the street. Hideyoshi was walking beside her and she had hold of his arm. Her face was turned up to his, eyes lit up with affection. Her sweet lips curved in a smile.

In that moment, Mitsuhide would have given anything - everything - to trade places with Hideyoshi. He would gladly accept damnation just to be the one she smiled like that for. Just for one moment.

He turned away. It tore at him inside. An itch, an ache, with no relief. Mitsuhide sought out the red lantern. An inn with companions to enjoy for an hour or two, hoping they could drive this from him. He sat at a private table, and the owner brought two beautiful women to serve him. They were beauties. Lips as red as blood, soft skin, eyes like dark pools a man could lose himself in.

Mitsuhide let them pour his sake and sit on his lap. They draped their perfumed arms around him and stroked his chest. They laughed and teased, and kissed his neck. But every touch only reminded him they were not her.

He paid and left. By then, it was dark out. The moon sat low in the sky, nearly full, bloated with its own importance. The stars drew his eyes up as he walked back to Azuchi. They were so distant. Tiny, insignificant things. Beautiful. Like the light in her eyes. Unreachable.

Mitsuhide suddenly felt sick. The sake, the smell of stale perfume and sweat, the lipstick smears on his chest and neck disgusted him. He wasn’t worthy of a love like hers. Not when her gentle rejection sent him crawling into the arms of a courtesan. He deserved the ache in his chest, the tight, roiling heat in his low belly.

The Azuchi castle baths were cold this time of night, and blessedly empty. Mitsuhide didn’t bother with a lantern. He filled a tub and shed his clothes. The cold water cleared his head as he sank down into it. With sand and fragrant herbs, he scrubbed his skin pink. He wanted to be clean, inside and out. But some filth couldn’t wash away so easily.

There was blood on his hands that no bath could remove. He was a man fated to live in darkness. To take on himself the tasks that better men could not do. It had never hurt so much before to acknowledge this . . . and yet. For her he wished . . .

Mitsuhide lay back in the water and closed his eyes. Burnished gold dimmed and hidden. His hair spread behind him like a soft cloud of pale silk. He tried to ease his grief, to forget it. To float, untouched by deep emotion. But a warm glow grew at the corners of his vision, banishing that inner darkness.

His eyes opened as he realized it was lantern light.

“Mitsuhide.” Her face hung over his, a study of light and shadows. Loose hair cascaded down her back, curling at her collarbone.

It was a dream made into life. And a joke. A taunt. He told himself to sit up. Say something sharp, witty. Cruel. Then she would leave and he would be alone. Again. He didn’t move, didn’t speak.

He could feel her eyes like a physical touch, the faintest trace of warmth as they slid from his face to his bare chest, his exposed belly, the delicate trace of hair that led down from his belly button. His breath trembled - and hers did too.

Fingers as soft as fine spun silk settled on his cheek, her thumb smoothing a drop of water from his skin. Her lips parted. And Mitsuhide damned all gods and demons as he sat up and kissed her. She was hot to the touch, like embracing the flame. Like holding to the sun.

For one moment he was blessed. And then she pushed away from him. Her eyes were wide with surprise. Her breath came in gasps. “You kissed me!”

He wanted very much to do it again. He could see all of her now. The thin, damp cloth of her gown clung to her naked body like a second skin. He could see every curve and valley of her body and he ached to trace paths on it with his fingertips. With his tongue.

“What did you think, little mouse, when you stumbled on me bathing? Did you enjoy the view?” He tried to purr the words, smooth and in control, but they rasped from his throat with need.

“I . . .” She looked away. Her hands curled into little fists at her sides.

“Admit it. Tell me you like what you see.” He stood, letting the water cascade down him. The droplets were cold on his now fevered skin. “Tell me, and I promise you I will show you so much more.”

“I hate you.” The words were a harsh whisper. And then she turned on her heel and ran.

Mitsuhide watched her go, the distance between them flaying his heart. There was no happy end for monsters, he thought.

A tiny blue bellflower lay trampled on the ground. Wilted, broken stemmed. Forgotten.

[ramblinganthropologist]

Fictober 5 and 6 - “I’m not saying I told you so” and “Didn’t we just have this conversation?”

Fanfiction

Fandom: Mass Effect (Actor AU)

Summary: Well... this was bound to happen eventually. Now it’s time for Alex and Macen to face the music - and more importantly, their feelings. What’s gong to happen... and is someone going to win the pool about them dating or what? It’s getting up there...

---

“I’m not saying I told you so…”

“Then don’t.”

Right then, that couch cushion was Alex’s only salvation. Face down in it, he could block out the world and his burning face. It protected him from the strange reality he had found himself in the middle of, at least until he needed to breathe. So… a minute of peace and quiet before he had to face the music.

Maybe he should work on learning to hold his breath?

Much to his displeasure, he was suddenly airborne and face-to-face with Beau. She had taken his lack of movement to get behind and pull him up by the back of his shirt. Now he was dangling there like a newborn kitten, unable to do much except groan.

He should’ve just gone home… but no, he’d gone with his costar to her place to deal with the fucked-up reality that was his life.

“Nope, it’s talking time.” She placed him down on the couch, sitting up this time. Then Beau shoved a mug of coffee in his hands, full of sugar and cream. Someone was clearly trying to bribe him – or this was the hope the sugar would make him talk. “Drink up and tell me just what the fuck happened.”

Alex sighed as he looked down at the mug. “I mean… shit…”

And as he took his first sip, his mind wandered back to that afternoon and what had gone down. Just thinking about it made his face boil with heat, but it needed to be done. All that lay in his path right then was endless embarrassment, but it needed to be done. If he didn’t tell her, somebody would.

But man, he was going to hate this… she was so smug about this kind of shit.

“Huh… wonder where Beau got off to…”

Lunchtime had finally come, and all Alex wanted to do was sit down and rest his tired bones. Thanks to last night’s… activities… he was pretty sore and even all the action scenes hadn’t been enough to rid him of the dull aching completely. In a day or two, he would be ok – until then, he would just have to work through it.

He supposed that was the downside of having sex with a turian – stretching to fit your legs around a carapace was demanding work. Good thing he was flexible.

Not only that, but he had fairly good eyesight. Off in the distance, he spotted a familiar mop of pink hair paired with black armor. Beau stuck out in a crowd to say the least, and he was glad for it as he started to walk over. However, he realized she was standing in front of someone as soon as she moved away, heading off to who knew where.

And lucky him… there was Macen.

The turian looked vaguely uncomfortable to say the least. Alex had been around him long enough to pick out some of his tells. His mandibles were twitching, and the way he was standing reminded him of those old school puppets you stuck your hand into. If he started speaking in a squeaky voice about the alphabet, he was out of there…

Ok, he was a little tired. It had been a long morning of filming, ok?

At the very least, he slowed down as he approached. “Sorry, did I break up a conversation?”

Macen’s mandibles twitched again as he met Alex’s gaze. “No, she was just leaving…”

He glanced to the side. “Do you mind following me? We need to talk about something…”

Now, for some people this could go down a road where somebody would have to pee on a stick. Lucky for them, they didn’t have the right equipment – or species, for that matter. Still, Alex felt a lump form in his throat as he managed a nod. Oh, how he had wished that had been from his stupid costume armor…

Fuck. He knew a breakup when he heard one.

“Yeah… lead the way I guess.”

Without another word, Macen was soon leading him away from where the crew was gathered. He eventually ducked into a small room, closing the door behind them once Alex stepped through. There was no other way in, so he was stuck there waiting for the sky to collapse on him.

But yeah… no big deal.

He did his best to stay casual as he took a seat – the armor was uncomfortable, especially when standing. Macen mirrored him, and they were soon seated with a small table separating them. It wasn’t particularly cozy, but maybe it was better he didn’t feel comfortable. If he needed to make a quick retreat, this was for the best.

Sweat trickled down the back of his neck as he looked over at the turian. “So, what did you want to talk about? I didn’t hurt you last night, did I?”

Doubtful – Macen was built tougher than he was. Still, a human could put a hurting on a turian if they moved in the right way, or so the internet had told him during a late night frantic search. He didn’t see any of the telltale signs, but it wasn’t like he was a medic – he just played one on TV.

Man, if only Alistair Shepard was here now to save his ass…

Macen shifted in his seat, mandibles twitching. “No, I’m fine. I wanted to talk… about things between us I guess.”

Yep… here it came. Alex had to wonder how it was going to end; was Macen a ‘it’s not you it’s me’ guy, or did he prefer to cut and run? The tabloids had made suggestions back when he had been more active in the dating scene, but nothing had ever been concrete. Now he was about to get the real scoop – if only it didn’t come at the expense of his… well, if he was going to get dumped should he even call it a relationship?

Shit, he was no good at this sort of thing… it was why he didn’t date much.

At least being an actor made it easy to play things off as neutral as he felt sweat trickle down the back of his neck. Turians couldn’t smell that, right? He forgot if they had strong noses or not some days. Honestly, since they didn’t really have visible nose structures…

Yeah, he was trying to avoid reality. So sue him.

“Do you not like how things have been going lately?”

Maybe they had been a bit too forward. They had both originally agreed that this was just a fuck and run thing. They had never discussed spending the night or anything else that had been happening with increasing frequency. It would be fair to say they had thrown the agreement out altogether and had been ad-libbing for quite some time. Maybe Macen didn’t like that… it was hard to read his face then.

Damn turians and their lack of eyebrows…

Macen laced his talons together as he took a breath. “I… find myself uncomfortable with it, yes.”

Alex felt something break inside him, but he did his best to keep it off his face. Oh. Well, if you want to stop…”

“No!”

The sudden outburst caught the human off guard. He blinked as he realized Macen looked almost frantic now. That definitely raised some new emotions as he waited for the other shoe to drop. At the very least, he was confused – confused and not getting broken up with. What was actually going to go down, though, he couldn’t see. All he could do was just live through it and hope for the best.

He had never been good at that, but there was a first time for everything.

It took Macen a few moments to calm down, and even then, he was a little twitchy and his frame looked rigid. Yet when they met gazes after he had, Alex felt almost embarrassed to catch his attention. His expression was just so painfully honest that it hurt to look at him.

“That’s the exact opposite of what I want.” The turian took a deep breath, prop armor creaking a little as he moved. “I… think we both know this has gone a lot further than just sex.”

Alex managed a nod. “Yeah… that probably happened after the first time you stayed the night.”

That had been months ago. Ever since, they had wavered between colleagues and… well, he didn’t want to name it. Naming it made it real. And right then, that was terrifying. He couldn’t even form the words yet – it had been far too long.

“And it’s only gotten…” he flexed his hands uselessly. “Well, stronger. After I saw you looking so passionate when you danced…”

He took another breath and held it for what must have been a painfully long time. What Alex would’ve given to see what was going on underneath his fringe. Maybe it would have settled the sensation of sitting on a pile of pins, hoping Macen was going to offer him a magnet to get them out and not another round of them. Right then, he just had to wait.

“I think I’ve fallen for you, Alex.”

Now, if he had been in a sober state of mind, he would’ve registered this was one of the few times the turian had used his first name. However, he was way past sober thanks to the beginning of the statement. His stomach had gone from bubbling in distaste to fluttering like a flock of butterflies had gotten stuck in there. Forget rational thought – he wasn’t thinking at all.

Was this actually real?

Macen’s mandibles twitched slowly as he looked away. “Of course, I understand if you don’t feel the same. We can forget this ever happened and just end things before it gets awkward. I think we’re both mature enough to be able to work together, right?”

While Alex wasn’t a military man in truth, he knew the sounds of a retreat sounding when he heard it. Right then, Macen was trying to get back from the no man’s land he had found himself in before he got his head shot off. Of course, that meant he assumed that someone was aiming a gun at him and had their finger on the trigger.

And honestly? His finger hurt too much from his prop rifle to even think about pulling a real one. Fuck that.

The turian took his silence as a yes and started to rise. Alex felt panic take over as he jumped to his feet, reaching out to grab him. He found purchase on Macen’s wrist, tugging him back with such force that both fell onto the floor with a hearty thump thanks to gravity and the differences in their weights.

This was a great reminder of why he didn’t enjoy being on the bottom. Macen was too fucking heavy and bulky for this.

“Oww…” the turian groaned above him as he rubbed his mandible. “You didn’t have to grab me.”

Alex groaned as well, but mostly because Macen’s knee was close to a sensitive area. “Could you move please? I only like your dick there…”

With a clatter, his costar and part-time lover jumped off with the speed of his character. Even better, he offered out a hand to help him get to his feet. Normally he wouldn’t have gone for it, but given he’d had a turian knee to the crotch, Alex needed all the help he could get to return to a standing position. For not the first time, he was glad he had been wearing armor. Even if it was fake, it had protected him from some real pain.

Had he ever mentioned he was glad he didn’t have testicles? Because, man, he was feeling that now.

“Sorry.” Macen wasn’t letting go of his hand, even though they were both standing. “But… you still didn’t answer me. What do you think about… well… us?”

There was a hopeful note to his voice as he cocked his head to the side in an adorable way that made Alex’s insides flutter once more. If that didn’t tell him what he wanted, nothing would. So, the human decided to go with his gut.

Carefully, he leaned up on tiptoe and planted a quick peck on Macen’s left mandible. “I think we may have to change our agreement to include the clause about catching feelings for each other.”

That would’ve been so much cooler if he hadn’t lost his balance immediately after. Lucky for him, the turian was quick to make sure he didn’t fall flat on his face. Surprisingly strong arms held him close enough that he could hear Macen’s heart beating its strange, frenetic pace. It was faster than usual – someone was nervous.

He was too. But it was ok.

“I mean, I knew you were falling for me…”

And Macen chuckled when Alex groaned. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

“Oh great, you like dumb puns.” Still, he chuckled too as he leaned in close. “But I’d say that makes us even. Dare I even say it, but I think you’re my boyfriend now.”

Did turians have a word for that? He had never really studied alien languages in school beyond the basic shit to get you around on the Citadel if the translators went out. Maybe he should get Duolingo in turian if this was going to be a thing.

Damn, he hated that owl… but it was for the best.

“I think that would be a fair assessment.” Macen’s voice was soft with those words. “It’s going to get around… are you ready for that kind of thing?”

Of course he wasn’t – nobody was ever ready for their relationship being front page news. Given their previous animosity and their roles, this was going to drive the tabloids insane. Yet even though he knew that Alex found that he didn’t really care. Maybe he would later, when cooler heads prevailed, but in the moment, he was fine with whatever came at him.

Dumb, maybe. But no one had ever claimed he was smart.

“I think we can make it work.” He would have leaned in for another peck, but the sound of motion on the other side of the door drew his attention. From the sound of things, they needed to get back to set. “Damn, talk about awful timing.”

Macen helped him get steady on his feet as they left the room behind. “We can talk more later. It’s not like I need to ask for your number or anything.”

“Ah, the benefits of fucking beforehand.” Alex chuckled as they made their way back to the set. “Well, I think the director will applaud our new chemistry at the very least.”

The turian stuck out his strange tongue at that. “Always the professional, I see.”

Someone had to be. If Macen was giving up the role of resident stick up his ass perfectionist, it needed to go to someone. And his ass was smaller anyway…

But he could think about his boyfriend’s ass later. They had a scene to shoot first. Afterwards… noodles, maybe?

---

“And… yeah, so I guess we’re a thing now.”

Alex’s mug was empty now, and he was craving another. However, he would have needed to go through Beau, and she was currently staring at him as if he had two heads. As far as he knew he didn’t, but he touched his neck anyway just to check. Nope – just one.

His costar shook her head as she came back to reality. “I mean… I’m not saying I told you so…”

“Didn’t we just have that conversation?” He frowned as he felt his face heat up. “But… yeah I guess you’re right. The just sex thing folded like a house of cards.”

Beau smirked as she picked up his empty mug, heading off to refill it. “Took y’all long enough, but I knew it would happen eventually. So, any bets on who is going to leak it first? Citadel Weekly usually gets the hot gossip first, but the head editor over at Daily Drama has had it out for you since you started fucking…”

Anyone but Daily Drama. He still wanted to punch that asshole in the face…

“I don’t know. I’m half debating doing it myself to some unknown paper so they all hate the fact they didn’t get it first.” He shrugged. “But that’s a conversation for me and Macen to have later. Right now, it’s just… weird.”

Weird was good word for it. It wasn’t bad, just… odd. Sex was one thing; an actual relationship was something else entirely. Yet as he thought about it, he didn’t really mind. There were worse positions to be in – like having a turian knee in his crotch.

Had he mentioned that really hurt? He was lucky he wasn’t bruised…

Beau returned, coffee in hand. “Well, as long as nobody finds out until next week, I still win the pot.”

All Alex could do was shake his head and accept the mug. “Dare I ask what your winnings are going to be?”

“Oh, just a low five figures. All the human crewmates were going hard as hell. I’m pretty sure Rili is going to be just crushed about it, mind you.”

Ah, yes. Because Beau would totally be worried about the quarian member of the cast. She wasn’t subtle.

“Well, I can recommend a place to take her for a consolation dinner. They have both levo and dextro.” He sipped from the mug, sighing in relief. It was good to have things off his chest. “Shit, it’s been so long since I’ve dated someone that I forgot how it feels.”

“Something, something, getting back on the horse?”

Something, something, indeed. Still, Alex was glad to be back on the old-fashioned mode of transportation as he sat there, drinking his coffee and planning his costar’s date with the woman who played Tali. Like he had said, there were worse positions to be in.

And… well, the heart he had added next to Macen’s name in his contact list was a nice touch. Maybe he should have done this sooner…

Nah. It would’ve been a shame to cost Beau money. Rili deserved a nice date spot. It was the least he could do as her unofficial wingman.

[danddymaro]

Death Stranding | Sweet Façade

Pairing : Higgs monaghan X Reader // Sam Bridges x Reader

First part : Stay

Previous: Goodbye

Again, this is  just a little direction I want to go;  a little idea that pathed it’s own way.

Thoughts are italics in quotations = ‘Example’

Flashbacks are in italics = Example

Wordcount: 3066

Sweet Façade

Small globs of rain descended from the gloomy sky as a calm shower of precipitation stretched out for miles, something which didn't bother the calm male as he coolly made his way into the shelter, brushing off the bits of moisture that stuck to his shoulders with his gloved hands.

“ Package for miss (f/n) (l/n),” the arriving porter said aloud, his voice bouncing off the walls of the safe enclosure as he stepped forward, all while detaching the special package from his backpack,

“Hello? Anyone here?” He questioned loudly before he stepped right before the access terminal, placing his other hand out to utilize it, waiting a total of three minutes before he received a response back,

"Hello?" greeted a woman’s voice, sounding huffy and breathy, having just run through her little underground home to greet him. 

Before him a holograph appeared, the moving image of the young, (h/c) haired woman greeting him,

“Did you say package?” She said with surprise, her brows raised high as her eyes seemed peeled wide, “For me?” She added with apparent curiosity, all while pointing a single index towards herself.

At the question, she watched as his gloved index finger trail beneath the letters of her name, sounding them out with a sure nod. 

He wore a sweet smile as he addressed her, "(F/n) (L/n), That's you right?" He asked, his liquid blue eyes raised up to her, glued to her artificial image with unmistakable fascination.

Despite the knowing fact that she was simply just a hologram, the porter had trouble straying his eyes anywhere else. Selfishly, he swallowed her whole, not having a mind for anything else but the (e/c) eyed beauty manifested before him.

Oblivious, (f/n) remained calm, not having an idea as to how intensely the man eyed her, nor was she aware of the merriment that shone within his blue crystals as the white cap he wore obscured a good portion of his face.

She did, however, notice his growing smile, and catching onto the subtle curl of his lips she mirrored him, nodding. 

Smiling gently in return she responded, “That's me,” she told him with a firm nod, " But I wasn't expecting anything," she said with a bit of confusion, still offering him the pleasant upturn nonetheless.

" Oh?" He said back to her, his eyes finding hers, staring right at her image with surprised, widened orbs. "That's pretty weird, cause the name here is yours," he said tapping the container, " This is also your location," he added as he placed the package down, a sure grin on his face as he waited for her to receive it.

‘You’ll just love it,’ He thought to himself, certain. ‘I just know it...Just like I know you…’

"Ok, let's see," He heard her mutter as she came down to it, inspecting it with the curiosity of a kitten.

She then opened it carefully, not sure what to expect at first. 

It wasn’t like she didn’t trust the porter, she had no reason to, but still, she was somewhat skeptical.

‘I didn’t order anything,’ She told herself, ‘in fact, it’s rather strange he’s  even made it all the way here,’ She mused, ‘Given the storm and all,’ she went on.

She had doubts, however, the moment her eyes landed on the contents within the secured case, her eyes grew wide, glimmering with absolute joy,

‘Could it be?’ She wondered, swallowing hard, her hand gently skimming over the surface of the hardcovered book.

Stunned, she stared down at the item with stillness before she gave an unexpected jump, a literal hop full of glee that surprised the man,

" I can't believe this!" She said with astonishment , pressing the small booklet close to her chest, twirling around happily. She held it with adoration as she beamed at the porter, unable to hide all the giddiness she felt,

  "You have no idea what this means to me!" She said happily.

  He watched her, his head slightly cocking to the side as he watched the woman gleam, a joy so sweet and pure worn out on display, that he felt it was a shame not many people could get a chance at such a lovely sight.

 He'd never felt his chest hurt so much, and with such sweetness nonetheless,

‘It’s only when I think about you,’ He thought with a shake to his head. 'That's the only time this happens,' He added, wanting to press her hand to his chest so she could feel the heavy bouncing for herself, just so she’d understand how intensely he felt for her.

(e/c) colored eyes seemed so warm and sweet, being windows to a heart he wanted to hold and claim, one that he was certain was deserving of everything lovely the world had left to give,

‘Sweetheart,’ he mused, ‘I’d snatch up what’s left of the world just to give it to you... If it'd make you smile just like that, I wouldn't hesitate.' He silently assured her.

She was like an innocent, little butterfly walking right along his bloodied palm,

careless and free, small and beautiful…

Of course, the lovely, delicate creature didn't know the malicious danger she was in. She was unsuspecting as such, naively crawling over his mercy, trusting in his words and his convincing façade.

He knew who he was, what he was capable of, and with the same little perk to his mouth, he wondered what would take place,

Just how would their love take course?

Would he simply crush her? Unintentionally, would he end up destroying her just as he had a habit to do so to many other things in his life?

‘If you’d be mine, would I somehow ruin you? ’ He thought with a touch of sadness,

Or

Would he adore her so much as to keep her in a glass jar? Far away from everyone else, safely hidden away until only he knew where she was being kept,

‘How long would I have to hide you?’ He wondered, knowing that somewhere along the line he’d be challenged,

‘Eventually, he’ll come looking for you,’ He thought with a little huff of amusement, one so small, the woman had ignored it, not paying it any mind.

‘I know I would. I’d go crazy trying to find you again,’

"Where did you even find this?" (f/n) asked, astonished. " I'd lost hope I'd ever see this again," she said, continuing to hug the small booklet, looking down at the porter with open ears.

“ I know we haven't met personally, but I come here frequently,” He informed her, not entirely lying because he did make frequent deliveries to her as a freelance porter.

However, as of late, he’d been busy with Amelie,

 ‘And her bullshit,’ He thought annoyed.

In fact, he made sure he was the only one that ever really got through,

‘I make an attempt at it,’ He thought with more annoyance, knowing that somehow, Sam bridges made it through to her,

‘Every...single...time.

Somehow Bridges gets a hold of you.’ He added with disdain.

“Anyways, I was just going along with my normal deliveries and I happened to come across it," he further explained, " I've also got some fuel here for you, seems like it's an old order you'd made a month back that just never made it's way here. I  figured  I'd drop it off  to you, and maybe get the chance to finally greet you," He said with a small chuckle, causing her to release one of her own,

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" She said with true regret evident, even through her little giggle. " Even moreso, Thank you!" she added, 

" It's taken too long for us to meet each other then, " She added while shaking her head.

"Entirely," He added softly, agreeing.

Carefully setting the book aside, she continued to happily chat with the man,

"From the bottom of my heart, I'd like to thank you for your service, " She said with gratitude, wishing she had something else to offer him other than a meager ‘thanks.’

"Oh no, no please!" He fretted, both hands set before him, "I don't do this to get praised, you're making me blush," he added, keeping the little grin she wore alive.

“Um, hey, If you don’t mind me asking,” he started, “ what is it? " He asked, sounding interested, speaking in regards to the booklet she'd earlier pressed against her bosom. 

"What was in the package? It must have been something real important to you, given your reaction," he said with a hint of tease in his tone.

Glowing pink she bowed her head with embarrassment, thinking of how silly she seemed with her little squealing and twirling,

"I'm sorry you had to see that," She muttered with embarrassment, hiding her face within her hands.

 'Are you kidding me?' He thought to himself, 'Baby, you're killing me... being so damn cute with me...'

 "If it makes you feel better, it made my day," he said amused, causing her to release a little groan, "Nooo…"

"I'll remember this day for a long time," he added, causing her to throw her head back, "Stop it!" She whined, continuing to laugh.

It’d been the first time in weeks she’d laughed, so much so, she’d forgotten she even had the ability to do so. 

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," He told her, "but it is a nice pick me up," He added, not lying at all. 

"Really?" she said with a placid, little pleasant smile taking over as she settled down from her little fit, "How?" She asked with a shake to her head, wondering how her strange outburst could have ever made anyone's day.

"Defiantly. Being stuck out there in this gloomy weather all day,  you're smile feels like the sun," he beamed, causing her face to instantly burn as the words reached her.

"customers like you are the best," he added, loving how easy it was to cause her to fluster. "So I should be thanking you," He continued on, knowing just what he was doing, slipping in little teases masked by convincing innocence.

"Anyways, the book," he pointed out, making (f/n) snap out of her little daze, 

" Oh," She said while calming, " This book...It's actually just a mess of things," she confessed, instantly smiling so hard her eyes were squeezed together.

"it's stupid...really," she muttered with the same cute upturn that had him swooning.

The booklet was full of pressed flowers and leaves, along with  little pictures she'd taken, as well as a written page here and there that were coupled with meaningless, little doodles on every other page.

 It wasn't much, probably worthless trash to others, but a treasure to her, holding memories and sweet moments, all the things she never wanted to forget.

"I guess you could say it's like an old diary of mine," she explained, not going into much more detail before their conversation was interrupted by a loud-sounding crash outside the enclosure.

It was then that a harsh banging sound spread across the field outside, traveling into her home in a violent boom, startling her. A sharp gasp left her as she looked up to her ceiling with a tremor raking her entire body.

Heavy rain continued to fall, all sounding stronger than it had a few minutes prior, and at the recognition of the large, vicious goblets attacking her structure, her gaiety ceased in its entirety, (dark/light) eyebrows creased up with worry as she cringed at the strong downpour that crashed over the roof of her little home.

She could hear it echoing even from her safe enclosure, knowing that just outside, it disintegrated everything it smothered.

'Again with this endless downpour ;  Again with another storm, ' she thought with a mix of bitterness and sadness, because yet again she thought of the traveling porter whose name had become infamous now.

Connecting the world…

Bringing everyone together…

Through blood and sweat; Through harsh breaths and slim escape as well, he did it all.

'I hope you're not out there right now… stuck somewhere with those monsters,' she thought with a forelone expression placed over her. 'that merciless rain that takes everything it touches…the same one that won’t hesitate to take you as well,’ she added as she felt her heart race, anxiousness clawing at the walls within the muscle.

'Please...Please be safe,' She thought while a dark cloud loomed over her.

Meanwhile, the man outside watched, his eyes fixed on her saddened expression, his gaze softened as he looked on to what he considered to be a true gem, because even as she began to grow sullen, she was a charming sight,

'Downright breathtaking,’ he thought astounded.

If only he could run his fingers through those strands of (h/c), and not just that, but coo sweet words close to her ear to lure yet another smile from her.

He’d give anything for another one of those wide grins, much more to see the previously settled cute, little color find it's way onto her sweet face.

'Anything,' He thought while lovestruck. ‘ I’d give anything to do so,’ he added.

' But for now, I have to go. ' he thought with a pout, unloading the rest of the lost cargo he mentioned earlier, sending it through to her.

“Well I should be heading off,” he said with a small wave, causing her to stare wide-eyed, her mouth hanging open at his sudden leave.

'The damn storm is picking up,' She told herself, 'And he just up and leaves?!' she added worriedly.

“Hey! Wait Just a minute!” She cried out, her voice laced with alarm, “ Don't tell me you plan on going out there like that," she said with concern, her hand reaching out to him as a natural response despite the fact that they were in separate rooms, not anywhere near for her to grip him back. 

He looked back at her with a half-smile, his blue eyes staring dead at her startled expression. Grimacing, he spoke, "I think I don't have a choice do I ? besides it's my job," he told her with dismissiveness towards his own well-being, something that astounded her.

"I had just planned to drop off your deliveries and be off, " He told her, " But I got so caught up talking to you, I lost track of time, " He explained, " I should have left a long time ago!" He said shaking his head, seeming disappointed with himself.

"Anyways, don't worry about me mam," he said pulling up a boyish grin while mock saluting her by using his pointer and middle finger, "You just stay safe," he added, not really wanting to leave, but of course not having any other choice.

 It would have been easy for him to simply take her, singlehandedly destroying everything that got in his path from doing so, but he’d decided that with her, he wasn’t taking that risk.

  'He's crazy,' (f/n) thought to herself, jumping at a particularly loud clap from outside her thick, protective walls.

She then better lip tightly,

 Thinking...

Contemplating…

 'What if something happens to him? 

What if he gets caught up in that storm? ‘ 

And much worse, 

‘ What if he never makes it back?' She wondered distressed,

'if any of that were to happen, I wouldn't ever be able to live it down,' she told herself.

He bothered to bring back some lost package, something she'd forgotten already, all because he thought it mattered, coming through what were probably the worst conditions to travel, and much more that that he’d been loyally delivering cargo to her for a long time now.

“ Hey…” she uttered softly, sounding small uncertain at first, swallowing the heavy clump in her throat.

“ You can stay here,” she told him, growing more confident, “ There's a vacant room here that you can use,” she added, nodding with more assurance as she saw him halt in his steps.

“ You can use it if you want or, at the very least stay until the rain stops.” she offered, “That's all I ask of you,” she added, hoping he’d accept. "As far as I know, there's nothing out there to hide under...no other shelters in sight either. " she reminded him.

He then turned back to her, a grateful smile adorning him being a mask to hide the snide that lay beneath.

“You’d do that just for me?” he asked her, eyeing the melting worry that was over her face. As he seemed to contemplate the suggestion, she relaxed her shoulders dropping and her (e/c) eyes brightening.

" Please? At least until this clears up," She said lowly, nodding.

 “You’ve done enough for me already, believe or not,” she further explained, “ I haven't seen another person in what feels like forever. And I know traveling through this area has gotten very difficult. But you did so...All in order to hand me some lost cargo I had honestly given up on finding." She said astounded,

"Not only that, but you also brought me some essential supplies, " She added.

" You risked your life for me when you could have very well walked away at any given moment, especially when the first storm hit. " She rambled on,

" So please," she said again, clasping her hands together, "Please Stay. Take it as a token of my gratitude seeing as I have nothing more to offer you," She bargained.

  ‘Truly….Truly  I am smitten,’ he thought to himself, all while nodding, pretending to be defeated by her plea.

 "Just until then," he said quietly, "I wouldn't' want to impose,"

" But you're not!" She said hastily, "Believe me, you're not!" she said giggling, waving him off.

 Eagerly nodding she went to open the door, “ Just come in," she responded back, all of which was a mistake of course, but how was she to know?

How could she have guessed that the man she invited in her home was none other than the same terrorist in the golden mask both feared and hated by mass populations ; 

 Higgs Monaghan.

 She reached out for him, her hand circling around his wrist, tugging him inside, the sudden coldness of the outside world hitting her hard before she was back within the warm safety of her home with him following in suit.

"come on," she persuaded, anxiously as she heard just how vicious the wind blew.

Safely inside he watched her, eyes fixed on the back of her head, the (h/c) hair making his fingers twitch.

They were loose, the (long/short) strands bouncing with each step she took, teasing him with their bouncing movements,

'My dear...sweet... (f/n),' Higgs mused, head over heels for the woman, mad with desire,

 'I can't wait to have you all...to...myself.' 

Next : Open Heart

A/N: I fixed it. I hadn’t slept for a whole day when i completed this and I just knew I let a lot of stuff slip me. Have you ever been awake, but not awake? It’s an experience.

[sophi-s]

Cost of Kindness

Chapter II: Fear me not

By: sophi-s

Fandom: Darksiders video games

Words: 6373

Characters: Raphael, Original Character (OC)

Warnings: Blood and injury, suffocating, violence, Raphael is sad :(

Summary:

Nicola is quick to find trust in herself and quick to lose it. She doesn't realise however, that the man she fears sees something in her others cannot. And this something is what made him save her life again.

--------------------------------------------------

Through the few short weeks, the apocalypse has taught the dying Humanity many different things. Resourcefulness, cunning, true strength of unity… and among other things, the cruel life had taught them, was bravery in its purest form. Bravery that isn't simply an absence of fear but the power to overcome it. Stay cool-headed even in the most extreme scenarios, allowing them to face down even the most horrifying demons and either get away mostly unscathed or sometimes even beat them if they were lucky. Without those traits, survival was nigh impossible these days.

This last very important lesson however, Nicola seemed to have quite spectacularly failed to learn. Even as lucky as she was - considering that she lived thus far - she never was the bravest creature in this God-forsaken world. Smart? Sometimes. Ingenious? Sure. But brave? Not really, no. Especially now, as she was staring up at the angel who she decided to trust not even a minute before and who has just ruthlessly murdered a demon with little to no remorse in a very, very sickening way. Her muscles refused to move as though Raphael had already used the spell of paralysis against her as she watched the corners of his mouth, previously quirked upwards in a small smile, slowly descend. His expression in the matter of seconds morphed into confusion when a quiet sob escaped her. This horrifying, agonized screeching was still ringing in Nicola's ears, the demon kept writhing before her eyes and she couldn't help but wonder.. what did it feel like? To have one's life drained like that. Because judging by the sounds the Goreclaw produced, it must've been truly torturous.

"Human…?"

The soft voice of Raphael snapped her out of this strange haze and the sight of his hand extended towards her once again made her heart jump and begin to race. Her mind was telling her that if Raphael wanted to harm her, he would've done it already. Besides, moments before the demon came, he healed the cut on her forehead demanding nothing in return. Only because he could and - for some reason - wanted. But the chilling claws of panic gripping her throat and the fight-or-flight instincts kicking in, screaming inside her head made the voice of reason merely an inaudible whisper drowning in the sea of primal fear of the possible approaching danger. And right now, her body definitely settled on "flight".

"No! "

She yelped and tried to get away but her heels met the corpse behind her and it caused her to trip over the husk of the once frightening demon. With an expression of shock, Raphael retracted his hand as her rear painfully met the tough and damp floor. There was utter horror gleaming in her emerald green eyes, matched by lack of comprehension in his.

"Why are you frightened?"

And he has the audacity to ask why. Nicola thought bitterly as she started to scramble away. At the first glance, Raphael seemed so kind, he was such a gentle soul. Even his face, despite the collapsed cheeks, has the most trustworthy look to it Nicola had ever seen. This kind is the worst. Makes you trust them, lower your guard.. It seems she'd conveniently forgotten about one fact she noticed moments after she found Raphael. He's completely, absolutely and utterly insane. Unpredictable. At first he couldn't even remember his own name or how he got here. Who can guarantee her that he won't have an abrupt change of heart and lash out at her? She wasn't going to take chances. Leaping up to her feet, Nicola blindly runs off into the dark pathway she initially emerged from, her shotgun left forgotten on the floor just as she heard an almost frantic-sounding call echoing from the haphazard hide-out alongside the sound of rustling feathers and cloth.

" NICOLAAA! "

To her, this shout may have as well been a roar of a Fallen that not so long ago nearly succeeded in ending her life. A golden hue on the walls glistening with wetness trembled and started to move. No one had to say that out loud for her to realise that the angel was actually chasing after her. And to think that merely seconds ago Raphael was struggling with standing up properly… The pain of her overworked legs was gone, forgotten. They carried Nicola like a completely different entity, moving on their own, tireless and strong with only one purpose. Get away. Survive. Escape.

How Nicola managed to get to the point where she started her sightseeing tour of the sewers without any source of light and without tripping over all those bodies she found before was a mystery even to her. Even the slickness of the ladder didn't phase her as she pushed the lid off and quite literally pounced out of the hole in the sidewalk like a puma. She only hoped she'd managed to lose her pursuit in the winding corridors. Placing the lid back where it belonged, Nicola immediately booked it for the nearest alley just to be sure.

Once she was more or less hidden, she leaned against a crumbling wall, breathed out silently and covered her mouth to muffle the uncontrollable sobs. She thought that for once she found something that wasn't about to end her where she stood but it seems that the Universe has taken it as a matter of some twisted honor to slaughter every single member of the human race. This is just unfair. Sure, there was a lot of people who deserved to be smited into oblivion by the God himself for what they'd done but if the apocalypse was supposed to be some kind of punishment, then for fuck's sake why does the entire race has to suffer for it?! How is this even fair ?!

It's not. That's how.

Nicola looked up at the night sky glittering with numerous stars, winking at her like thousands of watching eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks, leaving clean trails in the dust and grime. Eventually, her heartbeat started slowing down, her breath evening out and the adrenaline gradually receding from her system. Now she had a moment to clear her head and think. She had no doubts she can be forgiven for running away. Every person in their right mind would do the same in her situation. Nicola refused to die like this.. But on the other hand… This panic in Raphael's voice, the almost childishly innocent smile as he closed the cut on her skin and the gentleness to his every move as he tried to heal a defenseless kitten… God, this is so… so… Nicola couldn't even find the right word. Despite what the angel did to that Goreclaw, no one said he meant to hurt her too. He may be crazy but that doesn't mean he's a psychotic murderer. This was a demon and angels rightfully hate demons! In his mind there was most likely nothing wrong with that. Besides, she gave Raphael no reason to think of her as a target. All of the sudden, Nicola felt unbelievably foolish for running off like that. Raphael saved her life after all. And she acted nothing if not horribly ungrateful. Should I go back? She'll have to anyway. In a hurry, she left her weapon back down there and Haven was short on those… Dang it…

She sighed. It honestly made her feel like a moron. Damned survival instincts… Sure, they were keeping her alive all the time but sometimes they were just so incredibly annoying. Why would they make her run away from someone who protected her even though he had no reason to do so and nothing to gain from it? From the first angel who seemed to care what fate befalls her? Goodness me, this is so stupid… Nicola shook her head and was about to walk back to the entrance to the sewer when she noticed something in an adjacent alley. Seeing a pair of hungry yellow lights slowly moving closer to her, just above the ground made her heart drop. Her sight has long got used to darkness and so it took her only a fraction of a second to notice curved, black horns above them, long and spindly arms on either side of a slender body ending in a long, scaly lube. A snake-like tail…

With a pounding heart, Raphael quickly moved through the sewer that has long ago turned into his hide-out. Tracking down the strange little human who unexpectedly visited him in his "lair" was harder than it seemed. She was way faster than he would have given her credit for. By all means, in her short legs she shouldn't be that quick. Fear does strange things to people.. But why was she afraid? This short meeting was inarguably the most wonderful thing that happened to him ever since he left the White City. He couldn't quite remember how long ago it was but definitely too long for his taste. All he recalled was the horrible, sharp bite every time he repeated the ritual to finish his greatest creation, followed by a short-lived feeling of elation soon to be replaced by deathly cold within the centre of his being. Each time getting worse and worse until he couldn't stand it anymore. Quickly descending into madness caused by never-ending pain and the chill of his damaged soul, the invisible wound in his chest as cold as a forgotten grave, he knew he can't keep doing this. And so, after having lost his purpose, there was no reason for him to stay anymore. He refused to disappoint his brethren.

You've fulfilled your task. They don't need you anymore.

Raphael halted for a moment, blinking to try and chase away the taunting whisper in the back of his head. It is not true.

"You're wrong. They do. More than ever…"

In the premature Endwar, Heaven's Legions probably wished he was with them. But that doesn't change a thing. He's not going back. Not after he failed to save Ithuriel as an unexplainable surge of panic paralyzed both his hands and his magic. It still sometimes haunts his damaged memories… The young warrior slowly languished from a poisoned wound, grew weaker and weaker with every moment and the archangel couldn't move, couldn't even speak to call for help. Just.. stood there and watched unable to act. Until… A painful twinge through his chest made him wince. No. He can never allow something like this to happen again. He cannot fail them.. He refused to let anyone down like that. Ever.

Frankly speaking, Raphael started to wonder when he'd taken to talking to himself. Solitude clearly wasn't serving him… It's been so long since he had anyone to speak to and even longer since his mind felt this clear. This woman, Nicola, told him she is a human. Considering what has happened to the Third Kingdom, Raphael found it hard to believe. But the spark of life in her soul… it really did feel human. She wasn't a fiend from the Black Depths, nor was she of his own kin. Earth was where she belonged. But there was something in her… something so oddly familiar.. soothing. A flame like those burning in hearts of Heaven's people, just somehow fainter. Only a small fraction of it. Maybe her soul belonged to an angel before it was purged by the Well? Who knows?

But that aside, she was still human. And so, it might as well make her the last survivor of her race and the first creature to show him a lick of sympathy ever since he chose the path of a hermit. The Balance was in danger and this human was imperative for its preservation. For the first time in decades, Raphael felt needed. He had a purpose again. No one was forcing him to do this but the words in a caring tone leaving Nicola's mouth and clear concern for his well being even though she barely knew him for a couple of minutes were something he has been so… so dreadfully missing. As confused as he was by her attitude, he couldn't deny that it was… nice. How long has it been since someone expressed clear worry for him? Too long… The archangel wished this odd mortal near even if for just a short moment because strangely enough, her kindness directed specifically to him somehow eased the never-ending suffering and helped him focus his thoughts that kept running rampant without control whenever he couldn't busy himself with something other than the hole in his chest. And now they were focused on one goal. Find the human.

Raphael waved his bandaged hand through the air before him to invoke a spell and frowned when he detected the familiar presence he was searching for somewhere over his head. She must've left for the city above him. Right where she's out in the open for demons to pick out. Why did she run?

She knows what you are. And she is just a human. Of course she would run like a coward.

No. Raphael brushed this poisonous voice off. Believing in a single word it says will mean his failure. If he does, he will be doomed. Forever lost in the depths of insanity. No matter.. Channeling his magic, Raphael warped and reappeared amidst the sorrowful ruins of the city once inhabited by hundreds of humans. A wave of fresh air hit him in the face and for a moment made his head feel like it was spinning. His eyes opened wide when he took a huge gulp of oxygen. He never realised how sweet it can taste. After such a long time in the damp darkness… The stars peered down at him from the moonless sky, shining like shattered diamonds woven into black velvet. Enchanting and stunningly beautiful. If it wasn't so dangerous out here, Raphael would've surely been more eager to leave the dark pit he was stuck in to marvel at the Earth's still present beauty but such as it was… The moment he let his eyes wander across the vast expanse of the Earthen sky, his feathers bristled at the sound of a shrill cry of fear that tore the silence asunder. A cry of a female voice. Familiar voice. It could only mean one thing. His heart skipped.

Rushing towards the source of the scream, Raphael soon discovered the reason right behind a corner. The same human that indulged him in a much needed interaction, that calmed his restless spirit, was now struggling against the tightening coils of a serpentine body of a demon sorcerer which apparently has picked her as its midnight snack. Already feeling a mist of rage fall over his mind, Raphael shook his head to shrug it off for a little longer. Keeping his head as cool as he could, he performed a gesture with his hands as a string of words in his mother tongue slipped past his lips and his vision zeroed on the Shadowcaster.

Nicola was absolutely sure these were her final moments on this horrible, horrible world when the Shadowcaster jumped at her from a nook and wrapped its tail around her to try and strangle the life out of her like a gigantic, twisted constrictor snake, and watch her perish in suffering. What an awful way to die. Seeing the wicked grin of this malformed face as the last thing before her consciousness leaves her for good. Nicola hoped that if she had to die, then at least she would be sent off by a friendly face… But it seems that God denied her even this last, small comfort.. She fought ferociously against the crushing pressure that was successfully preventing her from catching another breath but to no avail. Her lungs felt as though they had been set on fire and her desperate wriggling only made the demon laugh excitedly as it whispered something she couldn't understand. She didn't have to though. Something told her it was nothing nice.. Dark spots started to gather in the corners of her vision and slowly encase her mind in darkness and she has already come to terms with the fact that this time she isn't getting out of this one alive when… the hold the Shadowcaster had on her loosened.

Taking a wheezing breath, Nicola fell over, still trapped in the coils of the scaly body. What? Once her vision cleared out a little, she saw her attacker lying stiff like a statue with its nasty eyes, previously burning with malice, now opened wide in shock and a web of golden lights crawling across its skin spoke for itself. Before any coherent thought could form in her head she was suddenly yanked free from the demon's grasp by an invisible force. A small cry escaped her when she felt a sharp sting on her thigh where the monster held her with its claws and soon she was gently deposited on the ground. Looking up into a pair of big, white eyes blinking down at her upside down from underneath a green, ragged hood.

"Raph-... phael…?"

She gasped to let her crushed lungs expand properly, though she needed no answer. It was him. He did follow her. And he saved her bacon. Again. Nicola truly wanted to laugh. If there were any doubts still left in her mind that Raphael is a friend before, they disappeared at this very moment. You bloody idiot, you ran from a dude who was trying to protect you and almost got yourself killed in the process. Nicola scolded herself inwardly as she struggled to breathe properly. No running again. Although she was most glad to see Raphael, she immediately noticed something was wrong. He was looking at her but without this soft smile. His eyebrows were knitted together in an expression of worry and… guilt? Why the…? And that's when she noticed that his eyes were flicking between her face and the spot on her leg which was quickly starting to grow warm and wet. Craning her neck to see, Nicola nearly choked once she caught the sight of three deep gashes torn into her flesh. And they were spurting about a lot of blood… Like.. a lot.

"You're bleeding… Hurt…"

His hesitant words only confirmed that it wasn't a hallucination caused by oxygen deprivation. Nicola bit her lip and tried to find that healing shard in her pocket but between being nearly choked to death, her empty stomach, sharp pain and seeing that amount of blood leaving her injured appendage she felt too dizzy to keep her head up and laid back down on the ground with a miserable mewl.

"In the eyes of our blessed Father, your days are numbered, foul beast.."

She heard Raphael hiss through his teeth once he looked up towards the place where the Shadowcaster was surely still face planting under the influence of the spell and his troubled frown turned into a scowl. There was this weird sound once more. Oh my God, he's doing it again… Nicola gulped, already preparing for the round two. Even though she was certain now that she had nothing to fear from him, it still doesn't mean she liked what she saw back then when the Goreclaw jumped her. She was already hearing the screeches of the demon even before they could come to be but this time no such thing happened. Something was different. The light that coalesced around Raphael's hand was not green but golden as the magic vibrated through the air once again. Everything lasted but a second. And instead of a series of pained shrieks, Nicola heard a single, sickening crunch. And then silence. Nothing more. Whatever happened, it was quick and mostly quiet. Probably because they were outside and more demons undoubtedly prowled nearby, and Raphael was definitely smart enough to realise that. Thank goodness… Nicola breathed before she saw the shimmering stars swimming before her eyes quickly starting to disappear along with her hearing. Soon, she slipped her eyelids closed in spite of the pain in her leg and found herself sliding into the dark. Hold on. Just a little longer.. Just… a little…

… longer…

If anything could be said about Shadowcasters, was that their skeletons, as flexible as they are, characterize with astonishing brittleness. One flick of Raphael's wrist was more than enough to snap its neck and give it a far quicker and more merciful death than it deserved. He couldn't allow himself for another drain as it would bring half of the Horde bearing down on both him and the wounded human at his feet. Besides, he didn't feel in need of its energy. The human…

Looking down at her, Raphael felt his heart cease for a second. She was lying there on her back, pale and motionless, her intricate green eyes shut. Alive, the blaze in her soul flickering, but clearly unconscious. Blood was still oozing from the wound he himself had made because of the spontaneous decision to wrench her free from the fiend's hold. He wasn't careful enough and failed to notice that the demon dug its talons into her skin. The archangel had seen a fair share of pain. He used to be the head healer back in the White City after all. The number of warriors he'd pulled out of the cold clutches of death was impossible to count. But somehow this was different. The poor woman was defenseless, weak and delicate. She couldn't even fight the demon that tackled her.

Azrael was right. Humans are very, very fragile.. Compared to other races, they were frighteningly easy to crush. Anything could kill them. From eating something wrong, through illnesses, to even falling into the water. Truth be told, Nicola was the first human Raphael had met in person and he didn't want her to be his last. Just stay calm. Don't panic… Not now… Kneeling down next to her, so small in comparison to him, Raphael gingerly peeled the torn trouser leg off the wound and placed his quivering hand over it, concealing the whole thing with his palm. His magic began to flow into the human once again to seal the torn flesh but there was very little time he had.

He barely managed to lessen the bleeding when a sound of a distant roar and a crash of a car being tossed aside, reached his ears. His head snapped up as his eyes darted around, searching for the owner of this cry. He would recognise it even in his sleep, even if the last scraps of his sanity left him. A Trauma was somewhere nearby. No doubt heading in this direction, attracted by the commotion and possibly the smell of blood as well. And a Trauma he couldn't afford to fight right now. Those things are hearty enough to break through his magic and get to him before he is able to put them down. Scooping up Nicola into his arms, Raphael wrapped his dusted wings around both her and himself and with a single arcane word they both vanished, leaving only a trace of quickly dissipating golden glow in their wake.

-

How long had she been out, Nicola couldn't tell. All she knew that she felt as though someone ran into her with a car. Her breaths were shallow and her heart was beating way too fast for comfort. Groaning quietly, she laid her arm over her face before opening her eyes. To see a dark, damp ceiling gently illuminated by a warm light. Where the Hell-...? The last second before the blackout came back to her like a punch to the gut. The Shadowcaster. Raphael.. With a startled gasp, she shot up, looking about, promptly regretting her decision when the world started to spin again. And to her utter astonishment, she was once again in the small section of the sewers where she met Raphael, settled on some ratty blankets and covered with another one that fell from her chest the moment she stirred.

"Keep still.."

She heard and nearly jumped when she felt a hand fall onto her shoulder and gently coax her into lying down again. And honestly, with how nauseous and weak she felt, Nicola wasn't about to resist and let herself be lowered to the ground. Unsurprisingly now, she saw the familiar scrawny angel sitting cross-legged next to her and staring intensely at her with those big, disturbingly hollow eyes. He brought her back into his hidey-hole? It looks like it.. Why exactly however, Nicola couldn't tell. And there wasn't much she could read from those eyes. A couple of seconds passed. A minute. Two. Five. And he still kept staring. The awkward silence continued until Nicola decided to break it by clearing her throat.

"Uh… what's up, buddy?"

If she wasn't feeling like shit, Nicola would've burst out laughing when she saw Raphael look up at the ceiling confused but she really didn't have strength to explain that this was just an expression. Chucking to herself quietly, she rubbed her eyes with pads of her fingers to clear her blurry sight a little when again her stomach loudly demanded nutrition. And the poor angel who was still looking at the ceiling quite literally jumped away and glared at her abdomen distrustfully when it "growled at him". Seems like angels know as little about humans as humans about them…

"What… was that.?"

Carefully pulling herself up to a sitting position, miserably failing to stop a fit of giggles - even though it pulled her sore muscles over her ribs - Nicola waved her hand dismissively. Any fear she once felt in the presence of Raphael was gone now. Not only did he rescue her twice but the way he was getting confused or spooked by literally anything Nicola did - purposefully or not - was just somewhat endearing.

"I'm just hungry.. I haven't eaten for a whole day.."

"Oh… hungry… hmmmm… Yes.."

Raphael murmured, seemingly a little embarrassed by the whole situation and twisted his body around to reach for something. Furrowing her eyebrows, Nicola tried to shift to see what exactly he was doing back there but she didn't see a lot. At least not until he turned to face her again and very slowly - like he was afraid he would frighten her again - extended his hand to her. And in his palm sat a paper bag where undoubtedly Nicola's sandwich was. Hesitantly, she reached for the packet that rustled encouragingly and a faint, pleasant smell of cheese, ham and pickled cucumbers emerged from within. A nice change from the stench around. It wasn't much but made her mouth water nonetheless.

"Thanks.. though I'd be glad if you didn't go through my things. Okay?"

"Okay…"

He replied with a nod and sat down again, watching Nicola devour - not eat - devour half of her sandwich in a few bites. Goodness, she was so hungry she could eat a horse.. However, halfway through something beside Raphael's thigh caught her attention. There, next to his knee sat a small cat. The same back and white kitten the angel was taking care of before. Looking at her with those blasted big, green eyes with pupils expanded almost to the point where its irises weren't visible and hungrily licking the sides of its mouth. At first she tried to ignore it. But the cursed look cats, especially the little ones, can give! The longer it stared at her, the more sure she was that she doesn't have the appetite anymore.. Goddamnit. Pulling a slice of ham out of her sandwich - the only part that would be of interest to it - Nicola clicked her tongue and offered the food to the kitten.

"Here, little buddy.. Come here."

I'm too soft for my own good. One day, some cat will be the death of her… Carefully and slowly, the kitten approached her, sniffing the piece of meat before snatching it out of her hand and retreating into the safe place behind Raphael to consume the gift. Cats can smell good people from a mile. Looks like she was wrong to ever doubt Raphael had anything but good intentions. Smiling slightly, the angel reached out to the cat and brushed his knuckles against the black fur around a new scar on its back. The loud and comforting purr interrupted only by an occasional swallow rung out and made even Nicola smile as she finished her own food. Even with how meager her snack was, hopefully it was going to last her at least until she finds her way back to Haven. One day of poor eating wasn't going to kill her after all.

When she was done, she peeled back the blanket to examine her injured leg. Nicola pulled a face at the three - even if mostly closed - claw marks on her thigh and the bloodied trouser leg. It didn't look that bad anymore but she could imagine that it would definitely slow her down. The slightest move was causing her mild discomfort. Running and walking anywhere is definitely off the table for now. Still, Nicola much preferred the dull ache that was now in place of excruciating throbbing.

There was no doubt in her mind that this is all once again thanks to the kind, even if a bit unhinged, angel who was now sitting beside her with a quietly purring kitten nested on his lap as he kept stroking its head and back and murmuring something to himself in a strange, melodic language Nicola couldn't understand but found beautiful and enchanting nonetheless. She watched Raphael for a few moments, listening to his deep, soothing voice that made her feel a bit sleepy. After the apocalypse Nicola rarely slept well because of nightmares. And it showed. But before she inevitably dozed off, she felt she had to say something.

"So uh…"

She started, successfully getting his attention, judging by how his eyes shifted to look at her.

"Um… Thanks. For… for everything I guess.."

For a whole minute Raphael didn't answer, simply watched her with his head tilted to the right, a silent question in his eyes. Nicola scratched the back of her neck awkwardly and decided to clarify.

"You know.. for saving my butt two times now, treating me.. And sorry I ran away. I was scared, you got pretty spooky with that Goreclaw back then…"

"Oh…"

He replied with raised eyebrows.

"Forgive me then… I did not mean to frighten you…"

"Oh, no no no, you don't have to be sorry, it's okay! I'm not scared anymore.."

Nicola assured him quickly. Making him feel bad for it wasn't her intention at all.

"Seriously though. Thank you.."

She repeated with a grimace when she tried to shift to a more comfortable position but the ache in her leg made it significantly more difficult. With an empathetic look to his face, Raphael steadied her by returning his hand to her shoulder and moving the other - already radiant with his Heavenly magic - to her wound. The prickly sensation came back, bringing relief in pain as he sighed tiredly.

"This is.. my duty…"

As surprising as it was, Nicola couldn't deny that Raphael seemed to have changed in some way since she found him absolutely deranged. Now he seemed a little more… collected. Focused. Calmer. But simultaneously even sadder and very jumpy. Still, he remained as mysterious as he did before. But maybe if he retains this composure, Nicola could pry something from him about his background. Why is he here alone? What happened to him? How did he get here? There were way too many questions to ask at once but she had to start with something.

"Your duty? You're some sort of a… uh, what shoudma' call it? Doctor, medic, something like that?"

Despite the question being seemingly innocent and harmless, Raphael reacted by turning his eyes down to look at his hands as he flexed his fingers a couple times with a barely noticeable wince twisting his lips. His answer was so quiet that Nicola barely caught it.

"... was… I left.."

"Huh? Wh- why?"

At that, Raphael looked up at her, again with this tortured gleam in his eyes that made her heart squeeze painfully and shyly pointed at Nicola's side.

"It hurts.."

He chimed as she stared at her own hip in confusion. Again, the angel was making no sense. Her side didn't hurt for one, and two, it can't have been the reason why he left… whatever he left to abandon his previous life. A little startled that maybe he knew something she didn't, Nicola probed the place he pointed out but all she could feel was the healing shard in her… in her pocket… All of the sudden she recalled what Raphael told her before.

Hesitantly, she dug the glowing crystal out of her vest and lifted it for Raphael to see better and asked a wordless question which he answered almost immediately.

"The shards… they hurt me.."

This was probably the lowest Nicola's eyebrows have ever descended, making the look of confusion on her face even more blatant. I thought they were supposed to be healing shards? Why would something made to heal one person hurt another?

"How?"

With an expression of anguish, Raphael placed his hand over his chest and took a small gasp of air as if to make his point.

"I created them.. and some of them hurt…"

The revelation made Nicola's jaw fall slack. She'd been suspecting this before when Raphael referred to the crystal as "his" shard but hearing the confirmation almost had her gag. How many times a healing shard has saved either her or someone else from the Tree, she couldn't count on both of her hands. After Ulthane snatched her from the Fallen's talons it took the large one to heal her and make sure she survives afterwards and still it shattered after it served its purpose. At this very moment, no one could ever convince her that the sad, mad angel before her is evil in any way. With a huff of disbelief she shook her head, shifting her gaze between Raphael and the shard.

"Wait, hold up, you made those?! Oh.. my God, I could kiss you, my dude."

A very undignified snort almost escaped Nicola when she saw the face Raphael made. Something between astonishment, horror and curiosity. She remained oblivious to how improper it sounded in his ears. He cocked his head again. Goddamnit. Every time he does that, Nicola just… can't. It constantly reminds her of a puppy looking at some bizarre wonder of nature.

"But.. why would you want to do this..?"

"It's an expression. In other words, I wanted to say I can't thank you enough. How did someone like you ever end up in… like- like this?"

Nicola said "like this" in the last moment before she could say "in such a shitty situation" because she realised just in time how inappropriately awful this sounds, considering they're in the damned sewers. I'll have to learn to stop accidentally making jokes.. For some reason Jones absolutely adored her for it, unlike most of her friends who kept either groaning or facepalming every time and begging her to stop before they kicked a bucket from the sheer badness of her jests. The kitten in Raphael's lap meowed in annoyance when it lost the touch of the angel, coaxing him to keep smoothing out its fur still stained with dried blood. He did, and Nicola didn't miss that he was deliberately avoiding her gaze.

"Long story.. very long.."

"That's alright, we have time!"

The words left her mouth before she could stop them. Her curiosity was just too strong. Besides, Nicola wasn't going anywhere anytime soon with how her leg was fairing (just thinking about how worried Ulthane and the rest have to be made her a little sick) and she honestly doubted Raphael is going anywhere either. But the way it came out made her sound like she was prying to get to something the angel clearly wished to keep to himself. Whether because it was something to be ashamed of or something very unpleasant to speak of. In honesty, Nicola was sure he would scowl at her for this but he simply looked away with a grim look on his face. And it was even worse because it made her feel awful.

"Oh… sorry, if you don't wanna talk about it then it's alright! You don't have to tell me."

"Another time.. rest now."

He hummed and extended one finger towards Nicola's forehead. Before she had time to ask him what he was doing, he lightly poked her right between her eyebrows and all of the sudden she felt unbelievably drowsy. She blinked a couple of times but everything was starting to double before her eyes which were closing all by themselves. With a wide yawn Nicola soon fell into the embrace of magical slumber Raphael called upon her.

He caught her before she could fall down and lowered her onto the blankets to let her sleep in peace. The poor human needed her rest to make up for the amount of blood she lost merely an hour before. Sitting back, Raphael settled for keeping a silent vigil over her until magic wore off. What am I going to do with you? He wondered. For some reason he felt so inexplicably drawn to her and couldn't help it. Something about her was just easing in the pain and warming up the empty void in his tormented soul, even if only a little. The small animal he rescued before rubbed its fuzzy head against his hand and started to knead the fabric of his trousers with its laughably tiny claws that compared to demons' talons were nothing. Still, it stung a tiny little bit. Despite this, Raphael let it curl up in his lap again and fall asleep as well while he watched the human woman and the strange spark dancing within her like a candlelight.

--------------------------------------------------

Chapter II is done! Getting angsty. And say hi to Raphael's kitty. Isn't it cute? :3

Also, here's part 1 if you haven't seen it yet.

[sunmoonandeddie]

spilled wine

pairing: king!bucky barnes x reader

word count: 3,346

summary: You’re nothing more than a servant who happens to warm the bed of the king.  At least, that’s what you thought you were.

warnings: Some swearing, little bit of violence

a/n:  This was written for @cametobuyplums‘s 2000 Plums Writing Challenge!  Congratulations!  My prompt was “Pour moi, c’est toi la plus belle : to me, you are the prettiest.”  Also, shout out to my betas that basically agreed to read this because we’re in a group chat and I’m a brainless noodle that needs all the help I can get: @wastedavenger @curvybihufflepuff @siren-kitten-his @starwarsgazer Let me know what y’all think!

You were angry.

No, angry was too simple a word.  You were vexed, aggrieved, irate.  And you had every god damn right to be.

Well, kind of.

“What has you all riled up?” Wanda asked as she sidled up next to you.  You were two peas in a pod with your matching servant’s dresses.  They were slightly nicer than your usual uniforms, trading plain brown wool for dark blue muslin.

“Nothing,” you said with a huff as your eyes landed on the King, who was currently twirling Princess Natalia around the ballroom.

But your best friend was as observant as ever, her eyes following your gaze.  “She’s beautiful.”

And she was, with her red silk gown that matched her fiery red hair.  Gold was woven throughout the fabric, making it almost luminescent.  But nothing could be more beautiful than her emerald green eyes, you were sure of it.

“She’d make a fine queen.”

You hummed in response, the bottle of wine sweating in your hands.  “I’m sure she would.”

“You know, political marriages happen all the time, even with commoners such as us,” she said, her eyes searching your face.  Her voice had dropped to a low whisper to ensure that no one could overhear the two of you.  “It doesn’t mean there’s feelings between them.”

“I know.”

“Then why do you look so upset?”

Because I am upset, you wanted to say.  But you couldn’t.  It didn’t matter that Wanda was smart and had figured out about your little affair over a year ago.  Or that she had told you that you would inevitably have to watch him marry someone else.  When she told you that, you’d simply shrugged and said, “He only wants someone to keep his bed warm, and I am in no place to deny my king.”

“Y/N, please tell me what happened,” she said as she reached up to tug on one of the ribbons she had braided into the strands of hair that she’d pulled back into a half-up, half-down sort of look.

“We got into an argument,” you finally admitted as your mind flashed back to what had taken place just a few hours before.

“I have to go,” you said as you straightened out your hair in the mirror.

It wouldn’t do to look as though you’d been rolling around in the hay.

Granted, your virtue wasn’t worth as much as the nobility that walked the halls of the castle, but still.  The principle was there.  And someday you’d have to get married and there was no doubt in your head that your husband would want to know that whatever children came out of your union were his.

“The ball doesn’t begin for another three hours,” James said as he rolled out of bed.  He didn’t even have the decency to get dressed before crossing his chambers to where you were standing, peering into his looking glass.  He looked almost godly in the afternoon sun that was streaming in through the open balcony doors.  “It wouldn’t hurt you to linger, my love.”

There it was again.  ‘My love.’  The title that he had given you that would never truly be yours.  It stung your heart every time he uttered the words, though you knew that you couldn’t say anything about it.

His arms wrapped around you from behind, your hands automatically clasping over where his rested on your sternum.  His lips trailed soft, feather-light kisses against any bare skin he could find.  His hair fell in a curtain around his face.  Your eyes were locked on your own in the mirror.  You wished for nothing more than to be able to stay right there, in his arms, hidden away from the judgmental eyes of the world.  “Stay… for just a little longer…,” he purred.

“My king,” you said after clearing your throat.  You knew how much he hated it when you used his title, and for the most part, you agreed to use his actual name when the two of you were alone.   But right now, you needed to get your point across.  You wriggled out of his grasp, turning away from him to pull on your shoes.  “This needs to come to an end.”

The air in the room changed as he froze behind you.  “What?”

You swallowed, knowing that defying your king could get you thrown into the dungeons or sent to the gallows.  You could only hope that you had gained enough respect in your time together for him to allow you to keep living your life as you knew it.  “This…  This needs to end.”

“I heard what you said.  I suppose I’m just wondering what’s gotten into you,” James said, letting out a chuckle as he tried to grab your hand.  He clearly thought you were joking, playing a little trick on him before the big night.

But you snatched your hand away before he could grab it.  “My king,” you said sternly, your voice void of any warmth.  “Tonight you are choosing a queen.  You are throwing an entire ball for it.”

“I don’t see how that means this has to end,” he said, his brows furrowing.

“I don’t think your wife would appreciate me warming your bed,” you replied dryly.

James rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall.  There was still a playfulness in his eyes because he didn’t get it.  Because he was a man and men get what the want, especially if they have a crown on their head.  “My wife—whoever she may end up being—will have her own chambers, as is normal.”

“And what then?” You snapped, your frustration reaching its boiling point.  “I will not—no, cannot—be your little plaything—your whore—for the rest of my life.  One of these days, I will be married to a man who wants to be sure I’m not bearing another man’s heirs.”  You could get in so much trouble for this.  You could be beheaded, for God’s sake.  But you didn’t care.  You’d spent the past two years warming the king’s bed and you truly only had yourself to blame for the current situation.  You’d lost your heart to him.  You should’ve ended it the second you realized you had feelings for the man, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it until now.

“You’re getting married?”

And maybe it was because you were so pissed off, but you could’ve sworn he was laughing at you.  “Yes, I am,” you said, your hands fisting at your sides.  “To the blacksmith in the village.”  You swallowed, willing yourself to stay strong, to not cry.  “And he may not be rich and he may not have a title, but at least I won’t be a toy to throw away when he’s done with me.”

James scowled, his hands having dropped to his sides as he stood up straight.  “I am your king.  And regardless of whether or not you’re getting married to some commoner, I want you.”

“If you want me, then you have to earn me!” You snarled as you whirled on him.  “I might just be a servant, but I am not yours!”

He was left completely silent as you stormed out of the room, the door slamming shut behind you.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Wanda cooed as she gently rested a hand on your arm.  Because it didn’t matter that she could be saying, ‘I told you so.’ What mattered was that you needed your best friend more than anything.

Because underneath all your anger was a deep sadness, a despair that only came from a broken heart.

“It’s alright,” you said, though it was clear that you were more trying to convince yourself.  “I’ll forget all about him once Adam and I are married.”

The redhead’s nose scrunched as she was reminded of your now fiancé.  “I don’t particularly care for that man.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not the one marrying him,” you teased as you moved to refill some of the Lord’s cups.  Plus, you could see the head of the kitchen, Vision, glaring at the two of you.

It didn’t matter that he was set to marry Wanda, he wouldn’t risk getting in trouble for two of the servants under his watch talking the night away instead of working.

The music continued to play as you moved through a few of the tables that lined the edges of the room, refilling goblets whenever you saw they were half empty or lower.  There were a few sly comments here and there, but nothing too out of the ordinary of the sleazy men.

You were pouring more wine for Lord Rumlow when your eyes drifted up to the dance floor, only to find James’s eyes already on you as he danced with the princess.  His startling blue eyes met yours, freezing you in place.

But you were pulled out of it by the sound of a someone shouting.  You gasped as you looked down, realizing that you’d overflowed Rumlow’s goblet and that it was dripping all over him.

“You stupid girl!” He snarled.  His hand swept across the table so that the goblet flew towards you, wine covering your dress.

There was no way that was coming out.

“I-I’m so sorry!” You said, stammering as you tried to mop up the wine with your dress.  People were starting to take notice of the commotion, Wanda included.  You could see her from the corner of your eye across the room.  She looked more like a raging bull than a girl, pushing up her sleeves as though she was going to storm him herself.  Vision appeared behind her, though, holding her back before she could do anything rash.  “Please, f-forgive me, Lord Rumlow.”

A yelp tore from your lips as the Lord gripped your upper arms, his nails digging into your skin through your dress.  He shook you harshly as spit flew from his mouth.  His face was twisted into something so horrific, you were sure that he’d been possessed by a demon.  No holy creature could be so ugly.  “I’ll have you hanged for you insolence, you—"

“LET HER GO!”  The king’s voice boomed across the room, and everyone fell deathly silent.

You whimpered as Rumlow’s grip tightened as the king stalked towards him, murder in his eyes.  You knew there would be bruises in the shape of his hands in just a few hours.  “Your Majesty, this worthless—“

“Have you lost your hearing, Rumlow?” James asked as he came to a stop in front of the two of you.

The man blinked in confusion.  “What on Earth are you talking about?  Of course not.  This kitchen mouse—"

“Then why have you not put her down as I’ve ordered you to?”

The other man’s jaw clenched as he stared down the King for a long moment, before tossing you to the floor.  “She spilled wine all—”

“She apologized, and spilled wine no reason for you to turn into a rabid animal,” James interrupted, his eyes still narrowed.  He was making it clear that Rumlow wasn’t getting anywhere with his excuses.  He hadn’t looked at you yet, and you didn’t dare move from where you’d landed on the marble floor.  “Maybe we should have you for prey on our next hunt.”  He sneered at the lower-born man.  “Get out of my sight before I send my dogs out after you.”  When the man was out of earshot, the King turned his head to speak to his right hand, Lord Rogers.  You’d heard all about him while lying in James’s bed after a night of love-making.  He was the King’s best friend as well as his most trusted adviser.  “Ensure that he leaves, Steve.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

Your cheeks flamed as you stared down at the floor, your palms pressed flat against the cold marble.  You couldn’t look your now former lover in the eyes.  Not after what had just occurred.  You were a servant.  You weren’t meant to be seen, and now every person in attendance was staring directly at you.

But James surprised you, getting on his knees so that he was on your level.  “Are you alright, my love?” He asked softly, gently tilting your chin up to look him in the eyes.

“Your…  Your Majesty, wh-what are you doing?” You stammered, eyes darting around the room to see everyone watching him.  “You shouldn’t be—”

“Y/N, are you alright?” He asked once again, making sure to enunciate each word.

You stared at him with wide eyes, swallowing.  “Y-Yes.  I’m so-sorry about the wine, I—"

James’s hands rested on your elbows so that your hands had to rest on his chest.  He didn’t care that the two of you were still on the floor.  “I don’t care about wine.  Or Rumlow, for that matter.  What I care about is whether or not you’re okay.”  He stared at you for another long moment before pulling you to your feet.  “Dance with me.”

“Wha…  What?”  You blinked at him slowly, unsure that you heard him.

“Dance with me,” he repeated, though he was already pulling you to the dance floor.

“B-But there’s people staring, and my dress, and I’m just—”

“You’re just what?” He countered, frowning as he brushed his knuckles against your cheek.  “Let them stare.  I don’t care about a dress.  And you…”  He smiled faintly as he took in your features.  “You are worth more than all of them put together.”  He held out his hand to you.  “Now, will you dance with me?”

After just another moment’s hesitation, you placed your hand in his.  He nodded towards the band and a slow waltz floated through the air.

“How is Princess Natalia?” You asked as he held you close.  You were avoiding his eyes.

“She’s fine, enjoying her engagement to Prince Clinton,” he said, though when you looked up at him, there was no cocky smirk that said he was poking fun of your jealousy.  No, he was being completely serious in wanting you to know that he wasn’t interested in her.

But even so, your eyes drifted over to the many eligible noble women that had come to try their hand at winning the King’s heart.

“What are you thinking?” He asked, his voice barely audible.

“One of them is going to be your wife.  They’re all rather pretty,” you hummed, unable to stop yourself from staring at the girls.  They stood there in their fine silk gowns with diamonds dripping from their ears and their necks.  Every single one of them was glaring at you, reminding you that you weren’t one of them.  That you didn’t deserve to be dancing with the King.  That he would never choose you as his bride.

“Pour moi, c’est toi la plus belle,” he said as he gently turned your head to look back at him.

You bit your lip as you followed his lead, surprised at how easy it was to dance with him.  The most dancing you’d ever done was in the village square during festivals, and those boys were never any good at it.  They spent most of the time stepping on your toes.  “What does that mean?”

“To me, you are the prettiest.”  Before you could reply, he twirled you under his arm and brought you back in.  There was a thoughtful look in the depths of his blue eyes.  “I’ve done a lot of thinking in the… five hours or so since you left my chambers,” he said, his voice dropping so that no one could hear.  He knew how damaging it could be for you if someone heard that you’d been alone with him.

“Oh?” You prompted, not quite sure where the conversation was headed.

He nodded, humming as he looked down at you.  “Did you know that my father was a lowborn Lord before he married my mother?”  His brows were furrowed as he recounted the story.  “He was the fifth son of my grandfather, who was the fourth son of my great grandfather.  My great grandfather, James II, was a rebel that was pardoned by his king due to his lineage.  But he was barely left with enough land and money to keep his title as a Lord.”

You were growing less and less aware of everyone’s stares on you as you simply focused on the man holding you.  The man that you considered to be the love of your life.

“But my mother didn’t care about any of that.  She was the only child born to my grandparents, the future Queen.”  He paused, his eyes flickering over to the Queen Mother.  When her husband had passed, she’d decided to step down and let her son take the throne, despite the fact that she could rule without him.  She was adored by her people, loved and respected, just as her husband had been.  “Anytime she told the story to me when I was little, she always said, ‘I loved him, which meant his title didn’t matter.  He was born my equal.  I simply raised him to my level in the eyes of the world.’”

Your throat felt dry as you stared at him, your heart beating so loudly that you were sure he could hear it.  “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I have never bowed to anyone in my entire life,” he said, drawing out the words as the two of you came to a stop in the middle of the ballroom.  “Not even my parents.  But I will bow to you as the sun bows to the moon every night, allowing it to shine for the world.”  As if to show that he was serious, he bowed deeply at the waist, shocked gasps ringing through the air.  His lips pressed to your hand before he came back up.

“James…  What does this mean?” You asked as he straightened up once again.  You thought you knew where this was heading but you didn’t want to get your hopes up just in case.

“Let me raise you in the eyes of the world.  Let me show them that you’re my equal in every way,” he said as he slowly sunk to one knee.  His eyes were swimming with tears as he looked up at you.  “Marry me.  You’re already the love of my life, my light in the darkness.  Be my wife and my queen.”

You couldn’t form words.  Tears streamed down your face as you rapidly nodded.  “Yes,” you finally gasped out, letting out a bit of a laugh.  “Yes, I will marry you.”

James got to his feet, pulling you into his warm embrace.  His lips met yours as the room erupted in applause.  When he finally set you down, he opened up his arms to present you to the room proudly.  Wine-stained dress and all.  Your cheeks flamed as you curtsied towards them, before remembering that you would never have to curtsy to anyone ever again.

“Come.  There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” he whispered, his breath hot against his ear as he led you towards where the Queen Mother, Winifred, sat on one of the thrones.  “Mother,” he said, eyes shining.  “This is Y/N, my fiancé.”

You knew the Queen Mother, of course.  You were the one who brought her tea every morning and every night.

She got to her feet, waving you off when you started to cursty.  “None of that nonsense,” she said, pulling you into a hug.  “Truth be told, I was wondering when my son would tell me about the girl he was so taken with,” she said, low enough that her son couldn’t hear.

Your cheeks flamed as she pulled away, but a fond smile tugged at your lips as your fiancé caught your gaze yet again.

James made a big show of bowing to you yet again.  “My Queen, will you give me the honor of a dance?”

Your heart fluttered as you placed your hand in his.  “I will.”

[dessarious]

Old Scars and New Beginnings Pt2

So I have no self control and can’t keep stuff back once it’s written. So here’s the next part because, insomnia lol. 

Beginning   Next

Marinette came back to reality slowly. The first thing she noticed was that she was still holding on to a person and they were rocking her in a soothing manner. They were humming softly as well but she felt the vibration of it more than she heard it at first. The second thing she noticed was that she was cold. Between the temperature and the wind she was wishing she had more than a long sleeve t-shirt and thin coat on. The last thing that seemed to penetrate were the voices.

“We’re not kidnapping her Batsy! We just needed to get her somewhere quiet where she could calm down. And I’d appreciate it if you left for now. The kid seems to think she’s going to get in trouble so the last thing she needs to see right now is you.” The voice took a minute to register properly but when it did she recognized it as Harley. It took a few more seconds for the words themselves to register. Kidnapped? Batsy? What…

Marinette jumped up as her brain sluggishly caught up. She immediately started panicking again when she saw Batman talking to Harley. Oh god, she was so screwed. She’d been in Gotham less than an hour and she’d already caused enough of a fuss that Batman was staring at her. Her breathing became shallow again and she was unconsciously backing up.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!” That was all she got out before she choked up again. Her breathing was coming in harsh pants and she was getting dizzy. They were all staring at her and it worried her even more. Later she’d be able to remember the concern on their faces, but right now it just felt like an accusation. The litany began in her head. Worthless, failure, deviant, screwup, pathetic. The words just kept coming and repeating over and over. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. She was still backing up but didn’t notice until she hit air. For a moment she was weightless, until arms wrapped around her again. The same ones that had been holding her earlier.

She could hear yelling but couldn’t make out the words. All she could do was cover her ears and whimper. Weak, useless, burden. The words wouldn’t stop. The pain wouldn’t stop. Too much, it was all too much. When the blackness swallowed her there was a faint hope that it would keep her.

------------------

“Will you three shut up!” Selina was livid. She’d held back before because she didn’t want to scare the poor girl further but the second the kid passed out, probably from lack of oxygen, she rounded on the others. “All you’re doing is making things worse.” She watched Harley and Ivy exchange a look before muttering apologies. Batman just stood there acting all calm and collected. It took everything in her not to push him off the roof to see if that got a reaction. She looked at the rogues. “You two head out. I’ll take care of the girl.”

Harley looked like she wanted to protest, and Selina understood. She was the most equipped to deal with this type of situation, but being around the rogues is what set her off in the first place. She ended up just sighing and nodding before she and Ivy took off, leaving her alone with her fiance. She just glared at him until he shifted slightly.

“You should have listened to Harley. You know damn well they wouldn’t hurt a kid and she’s the most qualified to get a proper read on her mental state. She was starting to calm down until you showed up.” She was still cradling the girl to her chest and couldn’t help but worry over how small and light she was.

“Perhaps that’s because she has something to hide.” Selina was too dumbfounded to respond at first. Bruce Wayne, the man who made it his mission to adopt the most feral and violent kids possible, was seriously acting like this kid was a menace. What the hell?

“Have you lost your mind? You saw her, you heard her. If she was hiding something it would have come out of her mouth with the way she panicked. What is wrong with you?” He let out a sigh, the one he used when one of his kids was being trying, and the urge to push him off the roof just got stronger.

“Do you remember the call I got last night about a problem child in the exchange program needing a host family?” Of course she remembered. The list of grievances against them had been incredibly long especially given they hadn’t served time in a juvenile facility. But what did that have to do with… no. He couldn’t be serious.

“You’re not seriously going to tell me that this is her?” He just nodded and the girls words from earlier came back to her. ‘They always get mad at me. Always blame me. It’s always my fault’. She’d been willing to believe the file they’d seen when Bruce had shown it to her the night before, but now? Now she had to wonder exactly how this kid, who’d broken down at the mere thought of being in trouble, could be connected to anything they’d been told. “There’s no way she did anything in that file Bruce.”

“You’ve known her for all of half an hour Selina, you have no idea what she’s capable of.” She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Yeah because he was such a good judge of character. “Either way she’s my responsibility so I wasn’t about to just leave her with Harley and Ivy. If there’s any truth to what we know she’s likely to team up with them.”

“She wasn’t just with Harley and Ivy, she was with me. Do you really trust me so little as to think I would let that happen?” He hesitated. “Oh that’s just priceless! Why are we even still together if that’s the case? I can’t believe you.” She started towards the edge of the roof.

“Selina…” His tone only served to get on her nerves even more. He was lucky she was still holding the girl, Marinette if she remembered the name from the file correctly.

“Don’t Selina me. I’m taking her home and you can take your superior, selfrighteouges attitude to bed with you, because I damn well won’t be joining you for awhile.” She made her way across the rooftops until she made it to her car. She placed Marinette gently in the passenger seat and buckled her in before she headed towards the manor. Even unconscious the poor kid was curled into the fetal position.

When she arrived back at the manor, she immediately took the girl up to the room that had been hastily prepared for her. She was a little shocked to see her luggage before she remembered that Alfred had been tasked with picking her up at the airport. Of course he would have found out about the situation and brought her things here. Selina placed her on the bed before removing her shoes and jacket. When she moved away to put them near the door she heard the girl let out a sound between a whimper and a sob. It broke her heart.

As fast as she could manage, Seline changed and grabbed a couple bottles of water to take back to the room with her. Marinette would likely be dehydrated when she woke up and it was best to be prepared. When she got back to the room the girl looked to be in the middle of a nightmare. She was thrashing, and crying in her sleep. She hurried over and laid next to her in the bed.

“It’s alright kitten. You’re safe now.” She calmed a little bit at her words, and curled into her side. She thought about what she’d first yelled at Harley. At what had started her spiral. “You’re safe. I won’t let them send you back.”

Beginning    Next

Tag List

@northernbluetongue @thequestionablyhuman @feliciakainzofspades @moonlightstar64 @resignedcatservant @mindfulmagics @danielslilangel @persephonebutkore @dorkus-minimus @vixen-uchiha @18-fandoms-unite-08 @noirdots @yin-390 @abrx2002 @ladysblackcat @crazylittlemunchkin @kuroko26 @zalladane @firesong323 @actual-disaster-human @loysydark @shizukiryuu @elspethshadow @weird-pale-blonde-person @kurogaya913 @maynora @miraculous-simmer7 @novicevoice @theyellowfeverexperience @mandy984 @drarryismylife101

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #398

“freedom is just man’s invention, & a soldier is just a slave”

What do you do the most when you’re online? Watch/listen to YouTube. Do you have a bobblehead? No. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? No, that sure would suck. Were you afraid of heights as a child? Actually no, but NOW I kinda am. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Would you ever take a solo road trip? No, that sounds super depressing and lonely. Do the mountains fascinate you? Of course! So much history built into a magnificent, awe-inspiring piece of nature. Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? Wow, no. I wouldn't tolerate that for a second. What’s your favorite movie battle scene? The fight between Simba and Scar is very powerful imo. Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? No, but not because I'm opposed. I'd love to go to one and be the photographer. What’s your favorite Marvel movie? Probably one of the Spider-Man films. I don't remember which it is, and I don't want to spoil it by explaining what I do recall. Did you have a Walkman when you were a kid? No. What’s the most difficult experience you and a significant other have gone through together? Being long-distance when we really wanted each other's physical comfort. Have you ever attempted to pick a lock? Did you succeed? Yes, because Ashley locked her keys in the car. I don't remember if it worked, actually. Have you done the Bratz doll challenge for YouTube? No. I've seen a couple people do it, though, and it's both cool and creepy. Does the hospital in your town have a good reputation? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. What is your favorite nickname that you’ve had? "Bee" from Megan. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No. I would be SO uncomfortable. If you had braces, do you wear your retainers still? No. :/ Well, the one you put in, anyone. I have a metal one behind the front row of my bottom teeth. If you had braces, have your teeth moved since you got them off? Yes. Do you know anyone personally who’s lost a child? I know way too many people who have suffered miscarriages. Do you take your medications regularly? Yes. What’s one luxury item you wish you could afford? An actually nice house. What’s your favorite thing to do in a swimming pool? Just kinda casually swim around. Have you ever been abused by a cop? No. What is one thing that you took to show-and-tell as a kid? My Snorlax plushy. Do you remember losing your first tooth? No. In the summer would you rather have the windows down or the A/C on in the car? I strongly prefer A/C. Have you ever been addicted to a game? What game? I had a long-time addiction to World of Warcraft for a couple years or so. I still play it now, but I'm not addicted to it anymore. As a matter of fact I get bored of it easily now. Which was better: the original The Lion King or the sequel? The original, but I love both very much. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I don't know if any did. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? Roman, 120%. It is so obvious. Venus, no, as reptiles are literally incapable of experiencing that emotion. I do, however, know she trusts me. Are you proud of your body? FUCK no. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance? No. How do YOU believe the world & universe started? I don't know. I feel like MAYBE there is some sort of ultimate intelligence that formed the universe (maybe prompted the Big Bang, though I've always been dubious of that occurring naturally), but I don't think of this topic frequently at all. Does it really matter, after all? We're here, so just focus on that and live in the now. Have you ever stuck gum under a desk/chair? NO, that shit grosses me the hell out. When shopping at a grocery store, do you return your cart or just leave it? Return your fucking cart, please. It is NOT that difficult. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Certain places I've, uh, "done" things. When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? Yep. I seriously loved Green Eggs and Ham. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape is #1. Would you rather give your food to a homeless shelter or money to charity? Food to a homeless shelter, but I'd love to do both. What was your least favorite year of your life so far? 2016 was a fucking NIGHTMARE. Have you spent money on a game online? On one occasion, I asked if Mom would reactivate my WoW account, and when two expansions came out, I asked if she could buy them. I HATED asking. Thankfully, now, I'm rich enough in the game to pay for the "token" currency, which renews your subscription for a month, so I essentially play for free now. Have you been called a bad influence? Yes. Have any self-done piercings? Noooo. I only trust professionals. Ever pierced someone else? Again, no. Leave it to professionals, as well as someone without tremors. If you had a child with down’s syndrome, would you keep him/her? IF I wanted kids, of course I would. It really, REALLY bothers me when DS is the reason behind abortion. Mind you, I am pro-choice, but come on... Don't treat down's syndrome children as a curse. If someone tried to murder your child, do you think it would be wrong to expose them publicly and talk about it on social media? Of fucking course I would. I'd damn that person to hell myself. Is there a toxic person that you miss? I sometimes miss Colleen. Are you still contemplating going back to someone you shouldn’t? With Jason, yes. If he actually wanted me back (that will never happen, but anyway), I fear I'd say yes and probably would, realistically. When was the last time you had a new crush? When I realized I was bisexual. Do you want Jesus to come back soon? Back when I was a Christian, I was terrified of Judgment Day. I don't believe in it now. What is something you can’t wear because of your body type? I COULD wear whatever the hell I wanted, but I refuse to wear crop tops or strapless tops (or strapless bras). Oh, and thongs. No thanks. If you have curves, do you like them? I'm not curvy naturally, I'm just fat. Have you ever worn matching pajamas with someone? No, but that'd be cute. Has anyone ever mistaken you for being anorexic? No way. What fast food place do you avoid at all costs? Arby's, to name one. Are you afraid of deep sea creatures? Yes, especially giant squid. Have you ever agreed to purchase something on Ebay and got scammed somehow? Ugh, I got Ico THREE TIMES and they were ALL broken; they'd freeze in the first few minutes. Has anybody ever given you a promise ring? No. What is your favorite kind of cake? Red velvet. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yeah, multiple times. Were you outdoors or indoors more as a kid? I'd say it was a split down the middle. Have you ever had a relationship that began via text? Jason, Tyler, Juan, and Sara all began over text. Girt asked me out over Facebook Messenger. Do you think sloths are cute or ugly? They're cuties! What eyeshadow suits you best? I only wear black eyeshadow. Do you watch the show Wizards of Waverly Place? I did as a kid and really liked it. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. I don't think I could handle the humidity, though I'd love to see all the beautiful wonders. Are you a member of any clubs? No. Would you shave your head with a friend who had cancer? If it was someone I was very close to and they were extremely self-conscious about it, I'd probably be willing to get very short hair, but I don't think I could handle no hair at all. How did you meet your pet? Roman was one of the kittens of Ashley's mother-in-law's cats. She has way too many cats and needed to get rid of the kittens, and I'd been wanting one like mad. I found Venus via the online reptile-selling hub called Morph Market, and I became VERY interested in the many, many ball python morphs, and when I saw her, I immediately knew that was my baby. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? I did as a kiddo. What are some of the phrases in your personal ‘bingo’ card? "Mood," "can't relate," "hi, how are ya," "jinkies," "yikes," "oof," shit like that. Have you ever been through a trap door? No. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? No, only middle school. How many video games do you own? A whole lot. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? No, I'd be very scared to. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? I have two for my varying photography subjects. I post very rarely on both. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? I have not.

[cosmiceverafter]

Sprinkled Surprises of Hope and Love

Summary: Michael Guerin isn’t one for surprises, especially when it comes to his birthday. However, that won’t stop the love of his life and their friends from celebrating this curly-haired alien.

A/N: This fic is a birthday gift to my best friend, Beka! I am so unbelievably grateful that this fandom brought you and our friendship into my life. You’re my person forever and always. I hope you enjoy this fic! Happy Birthday, hun! Love ya lots! @i-never-look-away​

Read on ao3

Sprinkled Surprises of Hope and Love

Summer nights in Roswell, New Mexico were some of Michael’s favorite times in this place. Ever since he was younger, he’d drive out in the middle of the desert and just watch the stars shoot across the dark night sky. He would make a wish or two, but truthfully he’d never actually believed them to be true.

That is until he met Alex Manes.

Alex Manes was the love of his existence. Often he would think that the cosmos themselves brought the two of them together. Perhaps coming to earth was written in the stars long ago so he’d find this special human man. Alex was nothing short of a miracle to his life. He gave Michael all the reasons to hope and dream, and basically…want to be and do better.

Sure, they had their ups and downs, but Michael always believed that it was worth the journey to get to this final destination with his one true love. With no regrets made, he had stayed on earth for Alex.

“What are you thinking about, Guerin?”

His thoughts of the perfect man were interrupted by the man himself. Michael looked over and saw his love smiling over at him, the crackling fire illuminating that breathtakingly beautiful smile of his. “You, as always, Darlin.’”

“You’re such a charmer,” Alex laughed as he leaned in for a kiss.

Awe yes, kissing Alex Manes. There was nothing quite like it. He was always taken back in time to their first kiss at the UFO Museum. Truth be told, he wanted to kiss Alex long before that, but unfortunately, he had been too scared to let those feelings come in. Michael had been so vulnerable in those moments. When Alex had leaned in to kiss him after giving him a safe haven and the gift of music, he had pulled away not just out of fear, but out of hope for something more than the life he had been dealt. Michael knew he would’ve messed it all up, so he hadn’t wanted to give in to the dream of wanting someone like Alex Manes.

However, he was not that strong. All it took was one look of the guy in his alien-green painted visor to know he was a goner. Without thinking of all the complications it could bring to their life, he had given in to desire.

It was the greatest move of his life.

He was brought back to the present moment as Alex’s hands moved into his curls. Every kiss they shared seemed to take away his breath yet fill him with life at the same time. It was familiar and comforting, but unique and mesmerizing. Soft lips nipped and sucked as his; Alex’s tongue licking to be let in, which of course he would always extend an invitation for.

Their tongues moved together as the crickets serenaded them in an orchestra of the warm night. He pulled away breathlessly, “God, I love kissing you.”

Alex followed him and smiled against his mouth, the warm breath of his lover hitting his face gently in an embrace, “It never gets old, does it?”

“Never,” Michael answered honestly, “I could kiss you forever and it still wouldn’t be long enough.”

“Then we’d better take every opportunity we can then. We’re living our forever,” Alex whispered, moving his mouth to Michael’s once more.

Yes, this opportunity would not be wasted on drifting thoughts of years past.

But then Alex pulled away, as Michael whined, and looked down at his watch, “Oh! It’s officially midnight. It’s your birthday!”

“Yay….”

“Hey! It’s a big deal, Michael!”

He shook his head. Another year had come and gone on a day he wasn't even sure was his real birthday, “It’s just another day.”

“Not to me it isn’t,” Alex replied as he kissed Michael’s cheek.

“You have to say that because I’m your boyfriend.”

“Nah, it’s because you’re my boyfriend that I can tell you that you drive me absolutely crazy!”

Michael grinned, “In bed?”

“In all ways imaginable.”

“As it should be,” Michael answered with a sly smile.

“Happy Birthday, my love,” Alex whispered softly into the night.

They embraced tightly; this was what made Michael felt safe. As he held Alex in his arms, he looked up at the beautiful speckled sky not wanting to be anywhere else but here.

***

“A BBQ?”

“Yes, Alex, a BBQ at the cabin! We haven’t been there since lover-boy moved in with you,” Isobel laughed on the other line. “I want to see how you’ve made it your own, and to see if Michael trashed it yet.”

“I wouldn’t let him,” Alex replied with a shrug to no one. Truth be told, having Michael move in with him was the greatest gift a man could ever wish for. All walls were down between them. They were finally comfortable being with each other in every way. It was literally heaven on earth.

“That’s my boy!” Isobel exclaimed as Kyle gave a cheer in the background. The two of them had recently started dating, and Alex couldn’t be happier for the two of them. They both deserved some happiness in their life. Kyle was his best friend, and Alex was growing closer with Isobel by the day. He enjoyed her sassy spirit—it matched his own.

“What’s Kyle going to bring?”

“He’s going to help manage the grill and I’ll be marinating the steaks of course.”

Alex smirked, “Since when did you learn to cook, Iz?”

“Please, Alex, I’ve always been a good…” He heard a sigh in the background, “Kyle has been teaching me. But fine… we’ll let Max marinate, he lives for this crap, which you know thrills Liz!”

“Ahh, that’s what I thought.”

Isobel huffed, “He won’t even let me use my powers. Not even a bit.”

“Well, that’s just rude,” Alex laughed as he shook his head, “You’re Isobel Evans, when have you ever listened to expectations?”

“Hmm, you know something, my dear friend, you’re right! I’ll work a little magic with our drinks!”

“Sounds perfect,” Alex smiled widely. Then he took a small breath, “You think Michael will enjoy this?”

“It’ll be the best surprise birthday that alien’s ever received! Just you wait and see.”

Alex sure hoped so. He wasn’t sure how much his alien lover enjoyed… surprises.

***

Michael looked up at the clock high on the wall of the Wild Pony and groaned. It had already been almost two hours.

“What’s your problem, man?” Max asked as he took a long swig of his beer.

“Brother, as much as I love sitting here listening to you talk about Liz and the latest felon, there’s a certain human I’d like to spend the rest of my birthday with.”

“Awe, c’mon, Michael!” Max replied with a smirk, “When was the last time we just got to sit and hang out together?”

“Like three days ago at the Crashdown, remember? And you kept stealing my curly fries and it pissed me off.”

“I gave you the rest of my shake, I don’t see what the problem is.”

Michael shook his head, “You never steal a fry, my friend. It’s the Food Law—Code 3. You’re a police officer. Don’t they teach you these protocols at camp?”

“Camp?”

“Yea, you all run around and shoot cardboard people… maybe a few aliens in the mix. Then you get evaluated so you try to explain that the aliens are in fact the good guys, not the young little girl out at 3 am.”

Max laughed loudly and shook his head, “You watched Men in Black again, didn’t you?”

“It’s a classic! Even Alex agrees. Plus, you and I both know that organization exists.”

“How many times are you going to make that poor human watch that movie?”

Michael slyly smiled with a wink, “Until he forces me to stop. You know how I love when he takes charge.”

“Okay well, I hate to break it to you, partner, but the Academy wasn’t like that,” Max shrugged looking down at his phone. “But fine, I’ll get you to your man.”

“About damn time!” Michael said standing up quickly, almost knocking his hat off his head. Max gave him a ‘really’ expression, the one he excelled at and was most likely born with. “I mean, I had a wonderful time with you and we should do it again soon.”

Max grabbed him by the jacket and put an arm around him, “Yeah yeah, c’mon, you.” Michael couldn’t help returning the gesture.

***

“How many balloons do I need to blow up? I thought I was managing the grill,” Kyle mumbled as it was clear the good doctor was getting lightheaded.

“Um,” Liz looked over her shoulder, “Only about 16… maybe 20, to go.”

Kyle groaned as Isobel leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, “Honey, you’re doing a fabulous job. But um, they need a bit more air. They’re looking a bit… I don’t know, lopsided.”

“You have powers, why don’t you do it? It’ll go so much faster.” Kyle replied with a wink as he kissed Isobel.

“Ugh, do we need to see this all night?” Rosa groaned as she rolled her heavily lined eyes.

“Nope. Soon Michael will be here and you’ll get to witness the Cosmic lovers go at it,” Isobel exclaimed as she motioned to Alex. “And I’ll be using my powers for something else, thank you very much!” She winked his way and handed Rosa some green streamers.

Smiling, Alex shook his head as he heard a meow. He looked down to see Boots rubbing up against his leg. Scooping the small kitten up he said, “Hi little fella, is this too much excitement for you?”

Boots purred loudly and rubbed his face against Alex’s cheek in reply. He wasn’t just happy Michael moved in because he was in love; he was also happy because he just so happened to love Michael’s cat as well. Alex stroked the black and white fur. Boots touched his face softly with his white paws as Alex cradled him in his arms.

Just then he heard a bark and he looked over at his dog Buffy, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re still my number one girl.”

He bent down, still holding Boots, and rubbed Buffy’s ear gently as her tail started going back-and-forth wildly. She rolled over and he gave her a big belly rub, the ones she loved.

Alex sat Boots down, and he curled up nice and close to Buffy, who not only allowed it but seemed to welcome the warm snuggles. The two of them really were the best of friends. Just like Milo and Otis.

“Hey! Max just texted me, they’re on their way,” Liz called out from the kitchen, looking flushed in the cheeks as she continued running around.

Isobel jumped and down and clapped excitedly.

Grabbing his guitar and taking a big breath, Alex hoped like hell Michael would forgive him for all this. He really did.

***

Michael was getting annoyed. Really annoyed. He loved Max, truly he did, but the guy was driving slower than watching paint dry. He kept his mouth shut though, resisting the urge to use his powers, not wanting to ruin their now healed relationship.

He just wanted to be with Alex. It was hard enough to be away from the guy at any point, and this was his birthday, not that he cared much about that fact, but he knew Alex did and probably planned a nice dinner or somethin’ for the two of them.

Finally, they arrived at the cabin. He was about to turn to Max to say a quick goodbye and thank you, but Max was unbuckling and stepping out of his car. What the hell?

Max clearly caught on, “Oh, I’m not going to stay or anything. I know you probably have birthday plans with Alex. I just have to ask him something.”

Since when did Max ask favors from Alex?

Shrugging with a curt nod, ignoring the awkwardness, they walked around back where he knew Alex would be. The first thing he saw was twinkling lights hanging down from the trees.

As his mind was slowly comprehending what was happening, he was stunned into silence at the….

“SURPRISE!”

Michael jumped at the word, literally getting air off the ground, and looked around. You have got to be kidding me, he thought as he saw all of their friends standing there. But where was Alex?

Just as he was about to ask the most important question, he heard the music start to play.

Alex was sitting on one of their barstools next to the trees, holding his guitar. He blew a kiss in Michael’s direction, a wink, and started to sing.

It was the song A Million Dreams from The Greatest Showman, a movie they both had enjoyed. This song though...the way his voice hit the notes was mesmerizing. This was his gift for Michael; it meant so much to them both.

The first time they had watched it, they went to the local Roswell movie theater for date night, and when the song came on, their fingers had intertwined and Michael had leaned over whispering to Alex, “It’s like our journey and our future.”

Alex has nodded and pressed his lips to Michael’s, “Kind of like a song meant for us.” Their song.

He had remembered. Alex always remembered everything.

When he was done, everyone clapped as Alex smiled and nodded to Michael. Alex knew. He knew. Michael tried to ignore the tears forming quickly in his eyes and looked away, pulling his cowboy hat way low.

He was just so unbelievably touched at that moment. Music had always brought them together; it was the foundation of their relationship.

But before he could go kiss his boyfriend, Alex started playing again. This time “Happy Birthday.” They all joined in and he felt touched in another way.

They had all had their ups-and-downs with each other, especially with Kyle Valenti who sometimes he was still unsure of, but they had overcome so much. They were a family; they had made it so.

When they were finished, Michael cleared his throat. “Y’all, thank you.”

“How mad are you on a scale to 1 to 10?” Isobel questioned with a sisterly smirk, raising an eyebrow.

“You don’t wanna know,” he replied, narrowing his eyes.

“Perfect! That’s what we were hoping for!” Isobel exclaimed excitedly as she rushed over to him and kissed him on the cheek. He hugged her, never wanting her to change her eccentric ways. She was one of a kind.

He looked over at Max, “Guessing you were in on it?”

“I took you day drinking, Michael,” his brother from another mother replied. “How you didn’t question that, is beyond me.”

They both laughed and hugged. The guy really wasn’t so bad after all, was he? Max had a heart of steel… literally.

The others came over one-by-one and shared a hug or in Kyle’s case, a handshake. It was touching really.

But there was one person he wanted to get to, above all the rest.

Alex was still sitting on the stool, letting their friends have this time with him. But Michael made his way over and grabbed Alex’s chin lightly, tilting it up, “Thank you. Thank you for the song, it meant the world to me.” Alex nodded and closed his eyes. “And thank you for planning all this.”

“You aren’t mad?” Alex opened his eyes and winced slightly, as he put his hands on Michael’s wrists. It didn’t take a genius to know this was mostly Isobel’s doing. Alex would’ve been more than fine sitting by the fire and eating together. They never needed to have showy things; they had each other and that was more than enough.

“Nah,” Michael replied, shaking his head. “Because I know you’ll make it up to me later. In so many different ways.”

Alex’s eyes widened, then filled with desire. When Alex looked at him in that way, Michael wanted to rip his clothes off. He had to control himself so he didn’t do it with his powers, something he had recently done.

“Kiss me,” Alex answered softly, his bottom lip full and pouty. It needed to be sucked on, and he volunteered always as that tribute.

As they kissed softly, Michael felt as though he could finally catch his breath.

He heard Rosa groan in the background and Isobel chuckle, “Didn’t I tell you we’d witness some ‘Cosmic exchanges?’”

Now Michael shook his head and turned to glare at the group, “It’s my birthday and I’ll kiss my man if I want to.”

Liz laughed, her long hair swaying, “Should we just be on our way then?”

Michael grinned and looked towards their cars, “Well….”

“Absolutely not!” Isobel said with that party planner gleam in her eyes. “The party is just getting started!

And party they all did. It was a wonderful evening, to Michael’s relief. They ate delicious food, which Liz, Kyle, and Alex managed. The three humans laughing over old memories. The drinks were exceptionally tasty and he kept noticing Isobel winking at Alex; information he’d pry out of his lover later. He enjoyed the fire with Max and Rosa, who talked old bands and good music as Rosa played some music of her own with Alex’s guitar.

The cake was a special one that Liz, Rosa, and Arturo made. It had an alien on top, with green frosting running down the sides. It was delicious, and his alien insides were very happy. There were lots of candles on top. Michael smiled knowing very well, he could possibly be older or younger than that.

They gave him some gifts. A really nice whiskey, a new belt and shirt that he actually really liked, and a few books. He loved to read, especially at the cabin. The people surrounding him knew him better than he ever realized.

He enjoyed the conversations, the music, and the company of his furry pets as he rubbed Buffy’s ears; the red kerchief he gave her was tied loosely around her neck. Occasionally he’d look at the window and see Boots staring sadly out the window clearly wanting to join the party. He’d go into the cabin and give his kitten some lovin’. Boots was too small to be let outside, so he’d have to bring the attention inside. Rosa and Isobel were so fond of the cat and demanded to also share the affections of his little one. Boots was thrilled, purring loudly.

They all eventually made their way around the fire, telling jokes and stories of the adventures they had all gone on together. It had been one wild ride. He was grateful for all of it, even the rough times. They shaped who he was and you know what? That was more than enough.

***

After everything was cleaned, and they had gone deep into the night, everyone finally said their goodbyes.

Alex had found him on their porch, as he was looking up at the night sky once more. Leaning over, Alex put his arms around Michael and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Did you have a nice birthday, sweetheart?”

Michael sighed and leaned back so he could look at Alex from within his arms. “You know what? I really, really did, baby.” He smiled softly and kissed Alex’s hand gently, “Thank you.”

“It was Isobel’s idea really,” Alex replied with a grin, “but I did think it was a good opportunity for you to see how loved you are.”

“Guess I do need you all to remind me from time to time.”

“I’ll help to do that, my love, always.”

They gazed up at the night sky, the beginning and the end of their night.

Michael held tightly to Alex’s hand, his lifeline, and his anchor that kept him grounded. Michael looked up at Alex as his love looked down at him.

“I love you, Michael.”

“I love you, Alex.”

They spoke the words at the same time; double the meaning, double the love.

Michael grinned as Alex sat down next to him, “Maybe they were right about our ‘Cosmic exchanges.’”

“That’s how it’s always been with us.” Michael nodded in reply at the truth of Alex’s words. He was right of course; the course of their relationship was written in the stars. As if by magic, a shooting star suddenly danced across the night sky. “You better make a birthday wish!” Alex said as he looked up at the heavens.

Michael looked at his beautiful Alex and felt his heart swell. So this was what true happiness felt like, sprinkled with a dash of hope. What more could he ever want when he had the whole world next to him? He brought Alex’s hand softly to his lips once more and said, “It already came true.”

[much-obliged-timothy]

Whumptober #19

Dragon Age  #19 - Mourning Loved One

*

Hawke had experienced so much death in his life. When his father died, he thought nothing could be worse than that loss.

Then Carver died, brutally killed right before Hawke’s very eyes. He’d felt so helpless. His little brother, cut down before he was ever given the chance to rise. That was the worst. Nothing would ever be worse than watching Carver die that day.

Until the death of his mother.

He’d held Leandra in his arms the way she’d held him in hers when he was a child. He’d felt her body go limp, watched the life leave her eyes. He’d reached her, but not in time.

He should’ve warned her. He should’ve protected her. He should’ve found her before it was too late.

Hawke bent his head, closing his eyes. His mind replayed the gruesome scene. He let it spin around his mind, wishing he could revive that damn blood mage so he could kill the bastard again and again for what he’d done to Leandra.

Hearing footsteps, Hawke slowly opened his eyes. He didn’t lift his head, just hoped that whoever it was would leave. Sandal wandering in, perhaps.

“Hawke.”

Anders’s voice was a familiar sound to Hawke. Anders had given Hawke his space since the death of Leandra, but Hawke should’ve figured his friends wouldn’t let him be alone for long.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, a weight he welcomed. Something to pull him back to himself, just a bit.

“Anders,” Hawke said, finally raising his head. “Did you need something?”

“Funny.” Anders squeezed Hawke’s shoulder. “I was coming to ask you the same thing.”

He let his hand linger a moment longer before dropping it and coming around to take a seat across from Hawke. Hawke looked Anders over, knowing the man before him was familiar with loss.

Anders’s eyes were filled with a sorrow that seemed endless. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t pry. But just know that I am here for you. We all are, Hawke. You’re not alone.”

“But Bethany is,” Hawke said. He hated thinking about his little sister dealing with this alone in the Circle. Just another family member he had failed.

“It’s not your fault the Templars took Bethany,” Anders said fiercely. “And what happened to Leandra wasn’t your fault either.” The fierceness left him as quickly as it had come, and now he just looked tired. “I can understand if a mage is the last person you want to talk to right now.”

“I can think of two mages I’d like to be with right now, but only one of them is a kitten loving apostate,” Hawke said.

The barest of smiles touched Anders’s face. “Lucky for you, that kitten loving apostate lives in your house. I’m sure you could spend as much time with him as you wanted to.”

Hawke looked down at his hands, clasped together over his knees. “I should’ve found her sooner, Anders. She was a good woman. She didn’t deserve the lot in life she got.”

“She got to be with a man she loved and had three children she cherished,” Anders said. “From your perspective, she got a bad lot. But from hers? I’m sure she didn’t have as many complaints as you think she did.”

Hawke let out a harsh laugh. “And that man she loved died. Those children she cherished? She watched an ogre murder one and stood helpless as Templars locked away another. And she died knowing the last child she had left couldn’t protect her.”

“You did everything you could,” Anders said, reaching out and resting his hand over Hawke’s. “She knows that, Hawke. She loved you.”

Hawke kept his eyes on Anders’s hand. He didn’t want to look around the empty room. He’d fought so hard to give his mother the life she deserved, and now she was gone. Off to join Malcolm and Carver, wherever it was they were now.

“It could’ve been anyone in Kirkwall and it was her,” Hawke said at last. “If I ever see the Maker with my own eyes, you’ll have to forgive me for shoving my blade up his a-”

“Hawke.” Anders’s voice was firm. “You’re getting angry again. Don’t…Don’t go down that path. Believe me, anger only corrupts.”

“Carver was so young. A part of mother died with him. She was never the same after he was killed. I had hoped…Bethany and I tried to help her heal, but I know now that she never would’ve recovered from what happened.” Hawke looked up at Anders. “She was my mother, Anders. She wasn’t perfect, but she loved me and the twins with her whole heart. Nothing is ever the same when the people you love die.”

“My mother wept when the Templars came for me,” Anders said. “Sometimes I wonder how she’s doing. Life isn’t fair. I just wish…” His voice trailed off.

“I’m glad I had her for as long as I did,” Hawke said.

Anders looked away from Hawke, glaring out into the open room. “Those Blighted blood mages. I can’t believe mages resort to that sort of thing. It never ends well. It just makes everything so much worse. They’re the ones who fuel people like Fenris and the Templars.”

“Merrill is one of those ‘Blighted blood mages’,” Hawke reminded.

“And I can promise you it’ll only lead to misery for her,” Anders said.

Hawke pulled his hands out from under Anders’s. “Now who’s getting angry? Your eyes will start glowing any second if you keep this up.”

Anders reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, Hawke. You’re having a hard time and I’m just making it worse.”

“No,” Hawke said. “You’re right. We need to stop things like this from ever happening again. I’m not saying I’m going to go out crusading against blood mages right this second, but we do need to protect others from that danger. And that includes Merrill. Think what you want of her, but she didn’t resort to it for ill intention. We need to help people like her and stop people like the bastard who murdered my mother.”

Hawke stood up and slowly walked along the room, over to the window. He looked out on Hightown, wondering just how many people walking the streets would fall victim to the same sick magic his mother had.

Anders got up and stood next to Hawke, close enough that their shoulders touched. The contact eased Hawke. He was not alone in this.

“We will all help you,” Anders promised.

“And I will help you,” Hawke said. “Let’s make sure no more families get torn apart by magic for any reason.”

Anders gave a nod, shifted slightly closer to Hawke. “We can change the world.”

“We will change the world,” Hawke said, clenching his fists. With his friends at his side, he knew he could make a difference. He knew he could make his mother proud and save other families from the fate his had endured.

Hawke turned away from the window, pulled out of his self-pity spiral. He had no time for grieving. He had lives to help.

[moonstone27ls]

TMNT being cancelled?

Guess I’m surprised cause there’s no official word. Second... I was hoping if they were planning to “end the series” to move to a movie at least do it evenly. I mean Nick we got 26 the first season. So its only fair season 2 gets an even 26 as well.

Am I mad? Not really, cause if Big Mama was their endgame for Splinter, I’d rather not dread the worse for the boys or for that matter more stupid love drama. I’m sorry I love this version but Nick or some shows in general seem to aim for love drama and it ruins the show/or characters for me. Star was ruined with that crappy love triangle/rectangle(being rushed), (starco people don’t start, I respect you love the ship. but the writers ruined the moment for me. Hard for me to root for a couple that hurt their partners and I’ll be honest the “best friend true love” trope’s been done a MILLION times. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I’m “ughhhhh again but I liked the other dude”) Korra... was that also damn love triangle I still can not look at Mako the same. with 12k version of TMNT it was that stupid love triangle they had to put with Casey/April/Donnie. Its the only time I had quit a turtle series and was actually sick and tired of Donnie. And before a shipper gets in my face let me not I did ship him and April before this series in 2003 version I thought the idea was cute. (Was really more of a Raph/April shipper but I digress). I only shipped her and Casey in the movie version. 2003 version was kinda not interested in them(same for the animated movie version) So I as I said love drama tends to ruin a character(s) for me or the story.

What did I want for the series before it ended

I wanted to see if Raph/Casey would still have that friendship dynamic. Every version for the most part has always had their special friendship.

Casey having girls night with April and Sunita

MEET APRIL’S PARENTS XD. The show acknowledge she has them. We were told she’s know the turtles for 5 years. Actually stating that I want a meet flashback ep. Little 11 yearold April being friends with them XD her meeting Splinter. Gah I can imagine the awesomeness!

Piebald, she was only given one ep. And Mikey tends to treat everyone like family XD. So kinda wish she’d come back and be part of this colorful family.

I wanted establish if the “mutants” could be returned to normal or not. I mean I dunno this story is different from the others. Draxum’s reformed kinda wondered if they would return the ones that want to be normal back to themselves.(or at least that poor kitten Mrs. Nubbins)

I kinda wanted Huginn and Muninn back. I dunno I thought they were cute little lackeys for Draxum. Again I can see Mikey offering them a “dog bed” they wanted so badly XD.

Speaking of characters... what happened to Mayhem? you’d think for the “finale” he’d be more useful than Big Mama (nick please drop that ship8P)

We didn’t get enough interaction with Baxter Stockboy/Stockman 8B.

Tang Shen, the fact that we didn’t give her a real character makes me disappointed. As I’ve said before would have loved her to come back, as either an old flame(whether just bitter ex, or the “one that got away), old co-worker, or one of the few people that knew about Yoshi’s calling. Seeing Yoshi’s grandfather made me imagine “what if she saw them have a fight... what if she tries to get him to talk to his grandfather.” or she chastized him for being selfish.

I wanted Bishop again and this time I want him as a villain. 2012′s version made me annoyed they wasted a good opportunity for a shady government character for a “oh yayz its another good guy”. You want another scary villain, in my opinion Bishop would be a good one.

Drop the Big Mama/Splinter thing. Seriously drop it, Big Mama has no real character (as a love interest). And I’ve seen couples were they dual with good & evil or whatever or maybe a better ref would be the “bad girl/boy”.Best example of that ship is Goldie/Scrooge, Batman with Catwoman/or Talia Al Ghul, Spiderman/Black Cat, Brock/ Moltov Cocktease (Venture Bros), to a degree Buffy/Angle/Spike(only 90s people know this ref), Lupin/Fujikio (though both are bad in some moral way) & Bulma/Vegeta, even 90s Xena and Gabrielle fell for a baddie now & then that got reformed for them. As a character Mama’s done nothing to prove to me she really loves Yoshi or his kids, the show knows she doesn’t care so her last scene doesn’t prove it to me. As a villain awesome. But is she Catwoman/or even a Goldie(Ducktales ref) nope. Archer’s more redeemable than her and he’s a selfish moron. (dont take that too personal I love that show but just admitting what he is). Don’t hate me shippers and yes I know I’ve said it more than once XD. But as I said some tropes work for me... and some don’t. This was one of them

We didn’t get Usagi crossover. (maybe if the movie proceedes they’ll do it for that) but we gotta have one 8B

Characters from the series I wanted either cameo or given more of a role Leatherhead, Klunk, & Jhanna. Would say whats her name Renet and the dino aliens but they’ve been done two times already, so while I’d like them as easter eggs or whatever kinda not gonna miss them.

More of Hamato Yoshi’s family, can’t really believe that Yoshi, his mother and grandfather were all that were left. Comic wise Hamato Yoshi does have a possible niece? So I dunno maybe they could give him a distant cousin.

Lastly tell us who Big Mama’s assistant was .We never got their name or who they are.... WHO WERE THEY?!!

[ikesenhell]

Blessing

AMERICAN DREAM, Chapter 6. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here. NOTES: Not gonna lie, I got into my feelings for this one.  More discussion about a past death. Thanks to @missjudge-me for this commission!

---

Sunlight drifted into the room despite all the best efforts of the curtains. Apparently they’d left a crack last night. Masamune grumbled dissatisfaction with the sky and pulled her tighter to him, caressing her tousled hair. 

“What time is it?” She murmured. 

He checked the clock. “‘Bout ten.” 

“Mm.” 

Sweet, sleepy silence hung over them. He parted his knees for her insistent leg. Where in the world would he rather be than here with her? Nowhere. Nowhere on Earth was as sweet. 

“So…” Her fingers walked up his chest, settled right over his beating heart as if measuring its pace. He entwined his hand with hers. “What now?”

“Guess you gotta get ready for your interview, Kitten.”

“Not what I meant.” The pause lingered for a little too long. “If I get this job, you know I’ll be thousands of miles away from you, right?”

Oh. So they were having this conversation. Masamune shifted. “Guess so.”

“I mean, it isn’t a given that I’ll get it, but…”

Of course nothing was given, but Masamune assumed—knew—that she would nail it. She was too encompassing and graceful not to. They would offer her the job. What then? Could he tolerate the distance between them? The last time they were separated, time had worked its awful magic and severed their bond. He supposed it was possible for him to relocate. 

But then there was his family. He hadn’t yet finished finalizing his father’s estate, and after that, he had a job to go home to. They were holding it for him. Masamune pet her head, deep in thought. Impulsive and brazen he was, but rash? Oh no. He always made decisions he could bank on. Relationships weren’t that. 

“Dunno, Kitten.” He admitted. “Tell you what. You focus on your interview and try not to think about it too much.”

The pout she fixed him with was divine. “That’s your stellar advice?”

“I mean—” He chuckled, tapping her lip. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not gonna ever lie to you and tell you I have a plan when I don’t. Focus on right now, and I’m gonna figure things out. Okay?”

Clearly she saw the sense in that. She sighed and stretched, every inch of his body hungry for hers all over again. Responsibility stayed him. Her skin was a dream in the webbed light, goosebumps their own topography as she pushed back the sheets. “I’m going to take a shower. Want to join?”

Damn. How could he refuse an invitation like that? “Set an alarm.”

“Why?” 

“Because otherwise I’ll make you late as hell.”

---

She applied her makeup with the skill of an artist, slow and measured, accenting all of the beautiful parts of her he’d lavished with attention. Masamune watched her from his place on the bed, transfixed. Her eyes caught his. 

“What?” 

“Just wishing I had two eyes so I could wink at you.”

With a laugh, she went straight back to applying mascara. 

The hotel room was cold and lonely when she left. Masamune tucked his feet under the comforter to keep them warm. Maybe he would walk himself to the bistro down the street, get breakfast. But first. 

His mom used the house phone still. She had a cellphone, but rarely turned it on (which defeated the purpose, in his opinion), so he dialed the familiar number and stared at the ceiling. It rang only twice. 

“Hello?” She sounded exhausted. 

“Hey Ma. Things going alright?”

“Did you take the Camaro for a reason?”

“Long story. I found someone to sell it to, though. I’ll probably be back the day after tomorrow.”

Apparently his antics were consistent enough that she just accepted the non-story with a deep, beleaguered sigh. “Well, that will be off my hands at least.”

“Yeah. Death certificates arrived yet?”

“Yes. I sat them on the entryway table for you.”

“Perfect. Anything you need me to grab on my way back?”

“No. Not that I can think of. Oh—maybe paper towels. I keep forgetting them.”

“Sure. I can do that.”

They lapsed into silence. Masamune ran his fingers over the ridge of his nose. He’d inherited so much from his father—his eyes, his nose, his unruly hair, his way of doing things—but his mother was there, too. She was there, in his decisive nature and his no-holds-barred will. They’d never been close, but she was still there, bone deep. 

Eventually he said, “Hey, Ma?”

“Yes?”

“How did you know Dad was the one?”

She hesitated. “Why?”

“I’m curious. I’ve never heard the story. I just realized that.”

He half expected her to turn him down flat, give him a curt goodbye and hang up the phone. No doubt she had other things to do. Instead,  he heard the familiar creak of her settling into his dad’s favorite green armchair. “I think it was ‘81. I was in college.”

That was new information. “I didn't realize you went to college.”

“I did. I received a Bachelors in Political Science.”

This explained a lot. She’d been so upset when he abandoned college for a culinary career. “Oh, huh. That suits you.”

Apparently she heard the humor, because she didn't scold him for the quip. “Your father said the same thing. I met him while I was canvassing for… oh, I remember—Reagan had just fired all those air traffic controllers. I gave him a flyer, but all he wanted was my number. I told him to—” She paused, clearly amending the past. “I told him to take a hike.”

“And he didn't.”

“No. He didn't. I had him pegged as having ulterior motives. We ran across each other again when a couple mutual friends decided to go to the movies. He picked my brain on politics the whole night.”

“Wait—” Masamune laughed. “He just wanted to talk about policy?”

“Apparently.” Her voice was dry with humor. “He was just fascinated with my mind. I was almost insulted that he wasn’t more interested in the rest of me. Things went on like this for a couple more months, and I finally had to tell him that I wanted him to ask me on a date before he did. He said something like ‘I didn't want to make you think that was the aim all along’.”

The familiar pang of grief echoed in his hollow sternum. Masamune pressed a hand over his chest. “But when did you know you would marry him?”

A faint chuckle. “Immediately. He borrowed someone else’s car for the date and drove me to a documentary screening, and the moment he held open the door for me—” She sighed, decades of nostalgia lingering in its wake. “I just knew. I’d never envisioned myself marrying anyone before, but with him, it was immediate. I could—I don’t know—I could see us growing old together. I could talk to him for hours. We got ice cream afterward and sat on the stoop and talked about names for children.”

“Did you really?”

“Yes. That’s when we decided your name. Your father said it was perfect.”

Masamune blinked hard, determined not to cry. “I didn't know that.”

“Well, that’s how it happened. I wouldn’t have it any other way. He waited until I graduated, and then the day after, we eloped. My parents were furious. They didn't forgive him for years and years.”

“Did you—” His voice choked. Taking a moment to compose himself, Masamune tried again. “Did you ever wonder if you were doing the right thing?”

“Of course I did. Doesn’t everyone? But one has to take risks in life. Otherwise, they wind up on the whims of fate. Life is for living.”

He’d never heard his mother say something like that. The mantra for his whole life was the same as hers—and he’d never known. The gulf of years at odds shrank, bit by bit, until he could finally see the picture of his mother: a woman who loved her husband and children, who spoke her mind, who was so unsure what to do with a child like herself. “Ma, can I ask you something else?”

In the background, he could hear the hum of a lawnmower. No doubt the next door neighbor was tending to his grass. Spiritually he returned there—sixteen and sitting in the living room, listening to the lawn mower, folding paper planes to throw at the window of a girl he loved, even if he didn't realize that just yet. 

“Sure,” she answered. 

“If I stayed out here, would that be too hard for you? I’m—all my friends are out here. There’s a lot for me out here.”

“You aren’t one to ask my permission for anything.”

“I’m not.” Masamune paused, running his tongue over his teeth. He could see his father now, kind eyes and capable hands, bent over the Camaro and humming classic rock. “I’m asking for your blessing.”

For a long, long while, she was silent. He could hear the huff of her breath, soft and even. 

“You’ve always been your father’s son.”

He smiled. “Is that a compliment?”

“Of course it is. I loved your father—even if both of you drove me crazy.”

“That’s not an answer, Ma.”

“It is,” she said. “Of course you have my blessing.”