#like boy had the right to move on
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Don't use rational thought as a defense with me, not after all you and I have seen. Vaughn, you and I live and breathe madness every day on the job...there is no...rational thought! I can't even pretend to have a conversation about anything else with you. What it comes down to is faith.
#alias#sydney bristow#michael vaughn#sydney x vaughn#aliasedit#alias: 3x01#tvedit#jennifer garner#michael vartan#i made dis#ok so truth time#I do not fault vaughn for moving on#BUT I'm still in love with this scene#becasue she's 100000% correct#you do not owe him shit girl#like boy had the right to move on#he didn't know#and I don't find fault in him not thinking that maybe sydney was still alive#but he did come there for absolution from that#and she does not owe him that#she does not owe him understanding#i guess all i'm trying to say is her feelings are so damn valid#she doesn't need to act ok with this whole wild situation to spare his feelings#thank you and goodnight
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I’ve never felt so conflicted about a franchise in my life but at least this dude was hot
#I watched conquering the demons and demons strike back at 3am last night and I have to say I like the first one more#but not by a lot#like I wanted so much to like this movie#but fucking Duan man…#like I read the plot beforehand so I wouldn’t be caught off guard by anything but DAMN that SA scene was sooo much worse watching it#girl this is not the girlboss pussy slay move you think it is queen#I liked her character so much too before that cuz she’s so cool but the unconsented captive fuck or die foreplay was NOT the move#then she had the nerve to rip up sanzang’s book and turn to us and be like you know what I think I still have a chance - GIRL HES RUNNING#then they had the nerve to make him fall in love with her anyway boy you a VICTIM#then the second one just had [redacted] in it and I did not enjoy looking at his face for two hours - ruined the whole experience#also I have to say that was the worst iteration of Sanzang I’ve ever seen I was actually happy when I thought wukong was boutta kill him#I talk all this shit but I really did like the effects and monster designs in the movie they were so cool#also I thought the first sanzang actor was sooo cute and pathetic why didn’t they keep him 😭#well it’s for the best I wouldn’t wanna have seen him turn abusive like they wrote him in the second movie#also dsb is the only movie in which I can understand the wukong and tripitaka shippers cuz that ENDING SCENE yeah I saw it#oh right my tags sorry lol#digital art#my art#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#conquering the demons#demons strike back#sun wukong#also his glowup in between movies is so funny lmfao#if you couldn’t accept him at his conquering the demons you don’t deserve him at his demons strike back#at least dsb gave me this human version of wukong please sir just one chance just one sniff-
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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me trying to explain the berserk trio:
ok so you know that famous internet question: "the man or the bear?" well. casca would choose the bear cus she is a woman who has suffered her own share of experiences with men and understands the true gravity of such a question. guts would also choose the bear, cus according to him fighting a random man would be considered "too easy" and he needs "a real challenge". griffith would choose the bear cus he misunderstood the question and he is a feral bisexual twink with oddly specific needs. in this essay i will-
#day 1208463 without berserk. i have lost smell in my left ear and eyesight in my right. something wicked grows inside of me but i still#dont have a name for it. the bars of the enclosure sometimes move about and coil around my arms like snakes. i crave nutella.#SOMEBODY GET GRIFFITH A SERVICE TOP BEAR OR SO HELP ME GODD#why should the world be terrorised cause nobody stepped up to wreck his absolute shit?? its just so fucking unfair#also casca talking straight up fact as always💯💯#guts gets 2 bears to fight just cause he's been a good boy lately <33#berserk#griffith#guts#casca#casca berserk#griffith berserk#guts berserk#berserk shitpost#griffguts#gutsca#im just tagging whatever at this point sorry#anyways#somebody come shoot me ive had enough#my posts
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Gen V really missed the opportunity to make Luke/Cate/Andre a (closeted) throuple instead of that dumb cheating plot
#gen v#luke riordan#andre anderson#cate dunlap#think about it: Andre joining their relationship is still fresh so he wasn't there for the stuff with Sam and later feels very guilty for#not noticing Cate manipulating Luke right under his nose#plus they could never go public about their relationship cause Luke is Golden Boy™ and Andre is in the shadow of Polarity#people misconstructing the dynamic between them thinking Andre is envious of Luke when Luke is his one personal reason to#join the 7 apart from his dad's pushing because then they can stay close and hiding in plain sight under the guise of bromance#people thinking Cate moved on too quickly from Luke to Andre but they're both trying to cope with losing 1/3 of their heart#the flashbacks in Cate's mindspace could be about failing Luke in other ways like not noticing he wasn't well or letting the press turn#him into a villain and just wishing they had more time together as 3 before Luke died plus Jordan didn't know about them despite being close#idk I'm just rambling at this point but yeah they could've made it poly if they weren't cowards
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An ordinary day for an ordinary little girl
(Theo the monkey boy is the @doodlesdreaming's OC)
#Crossover#Dead Cells#DC the King#King Conrard#My Headcanon#OC#original characters#Tetra#Theo the monkey boy#artist on tumblr#A Castaigne's rapid appearance#I can imagine him being a proud person#believing himself to be better than others but a coward when it really counts (like Gilderoy Lockhart if you want a better comparison)#Not so egotistica - as he sometimes tries to do the right thingl#as he sometimes tries to do the right thing#Let's move on to Tetra - the sweetest girl in the world#She'll kiss anyone she likes. For people she doesn't know and/or doesn't like - she'll be very polite#giving a more classic greeting (a bow) with a big smile#She's always barefoot. Much to the displeasure of her parent Hyde#And why is her hair done up in the front and not in the back ?#Hyde tried to discipline her hair but it's so long to style that they finally gave up#Tetra doesn't care about her hair. She finds them even more beautiful and atypical like this#She's an 8 - 10 year old and it bothers her too when it takes a long time to do her hair#Conrard - seeing the little girl's kindness - wanted to adopt her BUT Hyde wasn't for it#(imagine a “fight” between “daddies” and her watching the showwaiting for it to calm down)#She could so easily have been the daughter he never had and never will have... AH ! Oops ! Spoiler ! >P#I'll leave you with this information (I'll have to draw this one day !)
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At First Glance Part III
Fanfic Inspired by: https://www.tumblr.com/eternalremorse/751163260305342464/seb-x-mc-coded?source=share
1.1K+ words
Chapter 2 <<<||| Chapter 3 |||>>>Chapter 4
...At Feldcroft
The Feldcroft home visit went worse than Sebastian expected.
Not only was his uncle rude to him and rash when he destroyed the shivelfig he brought for Anne, Solomon completely embarrassed him in front of his best friend. Anger and shame filled him like never before and he found himself leaving the house before he could make things worse.
Since that’s all he could do when he went home apparently.
Sebastian kicked a few weeds here and there, walking away from that house he was forced to call home since he was six. He hated his uncle. He hated it here. He hated the fact that he told MC to give him a moment when she went looking for him. He could only watch from the corner of his eyes as she nodded back with an “okay” before she made her way back to his uncle’s house where hopefully Anne could do damage control.
Because apparently all he could do was cause chaos whenever he came home.
And all he could hope for was that MC would still be friends with him after this embarrassing episode. The last thing he wanted her to see him was weak as he held back his tears from the angry and hurt he felt whenever his uncle would act like this.
Then when she came up to talk to him, it seemed as if his worries were for nought. She was worried for him. While he had to explain how Solomon was like this all the time, how he was the only one who still seem to care to try to find a cure for his sister or at least make her current state better, MC never saw him as less, glanced at him as a misfit that everyone –even Ominis– did.
MC saw him as himself.
As a brother trying to save his sister.
Sebastian wasn’t hesitant to take her to the place where it all happened. Hoping that maybe she would be able to find something he couldn’t before. Nor was he hesitant to attack when he spotted Ranrok’s loyalists.
The two quickly shifted into their dueling stance when they partnered up, knowing this time there was something bigger to lose than pride here. It was here that Sebastian could finally let out all his frustration, his hurt, his anger at the very beings that caused his life to spiral downwards since Anne was cursed.
He tried to keep his best friend close to him, but soon the number overwhelmed them and they were split. Emotions powered his magic.
Sebastian wasn’t going to lose another loved one here. Not again.
It was here where he was also reminded who he was fighting with as he saw her Ancient Magic be put on display when he took down the last of his attackers that surrounded him.
MC’s eyes glowed a bright blue as she called down lighting on the commander who refused to yield, like some goddess out of a story book. The goblin commander still stood and continued to fight, but Sebastian saw that lighting blue flash of light again –the same one from he saw during that troll fight– strike the red-glowing goblin commander. He glowed purple.
A blink later, he was gone.
Nothing but ash in his place.
So awed by her display of god-like power this time around, he didn’t even notice the goblin behind her until she was wacked in the head with a frying pan and collapsed.
While Sebastian didn’t have god-like power, he had enough magic in him, enough anger to confringo the menace to death before he ran to his friend, hoping he wasn’t too late.
“Please be alive, please be alive –oh thank th’gods ye’re still breathing!” He heard himself say as he rolled her onto her back. There was a goose-egg swell that already started to develop on the side of her head.
It was a heavy reminder that for as much of a goddess in human form MC was with her Ancient Magic powers, at the end of the day, she was still human.
MC could still be killed.
Sebastian didn’t know what to do other than hold her, watch her breathe as a reminder that she was still alive. It wasn’t until she woke up that he felt all the tension leave his body like a ghost no longer processing him.
“Se-Sebastian?” She said as she opened her eyes, blinking at him.
“I’m here. How are you feeling darling?” He sniffed, never more grateful than the fact that she was alive.
That she was still here.
Sebastian didn’t lose her.
“I feel like I got wacked with a pan.” She groaned. Sebastian couldn’t help but laugh, the nerves finally getting to him.
“Good tae see that you’re still up tae make jokes. And tae remember what happened.” He said as he gave her space to slowly sit up, arms ever ready to catch her in case she fell.
“If I’m doing down, I’m– shite. Sebastian are you okay?” She said.
“A’m fine. Why dae ye ask?” He said, unable to stop the Scots accent from slipping into his posh English speech anymore.
MC frowned as she placed her hand on his cheek and wiped the tears he didn’t realize was there. “You’re crying.”
Sebastian couldn’t help himself as he pulled her in for a hug, inhaling her citrus orange perfume in, listening to her heartbeat as he laid his head against her chest. Listening to her breathe.
It was the most wonderful sound in the world.
“Ah thought ye died.” He cried as he broken down.
Her arms surrounded him, rocking him as if he was a little boy. Holding him like the six-year-old boy in him needed when his parents died.
She’s alive. She’s alive. She’s alive. He thought with each breath as she rubbed his back, soothing away a nightmare he didn’t want to re-live through again.
Never again.
…
Chapter 2 <<<||| Chapter 3 ||| >>> Chapter 4
#at first glance#Kay9Leo Fanfic#A Sebastian's POV fic made to better understand how he ticks#sebastian sallow#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy#Tbh with this part of the fanfic written it makes it easier to understand why he calls MC ignorant in the game#Like he knows that we haven't been in the magical world for long and he lived long enough that he has personal beef with goblins#but not long enough or mature enough or had enough interactions other than violence with goblins#that it is hard for him to see that not all of them are bad when all of his experience with them is bad/ended badly#and in his mind HE IS looking out for MC and is wondering how they can ignore the number of times they were nearly killed by them#Sebastian such an awesome character because of how imperfect he is#He is also a gray character; his first priority is to those that he cares for and he'll let the world or himself burn#if it means his loved ones are safe#unfortunately he doesn't go about showing how he cares in the right way#And he is above all a teen boy#and MC here is also a teen girl#teens don't always make the best decisions they are still developing emotionally and need guidance from mature adults#poor sebastian#Edited: Note that I changed up the chapters length to match up to what I have posted on AO3#And also due to the titles of each chapter matching to the themes within each chapter#Nothing new just moving stuff around
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unfortunately i do think this was kind of a weak season finale, there's a lot of stuff from overarching story arcs throughout the season that feel really unresolved (not in a 'this story is gonna keep on going' way, just a straight up 'we're not addressing this any longer' kind of way).
like, have sam and lois talked? she has a lot of abandonment issues and the last time they interacted he abandoned her and it sent her spiraling, have they communicated about this? why did waller go on the run? did checkmate turn against her? why are slade and lex apparently on the same side now? they hated each other and slade should be thrilled lex's metallos failed, why are they suddenly apparently pals? do they even still work for the government? clark and lois's "break up" and the issues involved in it on both clark and lois's side hasn't ever actually been addressed and it needs to be, are we ever gonna see that? where tf are clark's little shorts????? are they gone forever?????
combining that with the fact that this episode feels really padded (given that there was just this constant circular 'they're up they're down they're up they're down' for like 90% of the fight with brainiac), i do really feel like the story would have been better served if they cut the padding, resolved the brainiac invasion at the end of ep 9, and devoted ep 10 to addressing these myriad loose ends in a tight enough way that the season doesn't feel incomplete but still leaving doors open for season 3. because some of the loose ends are fine, 'oh we don't know what happened to hank henshaw', that's just a good teaser for whenever he shows up next season as metallo, that's a good loose end to have for a season finale. but a lot of these just feel like unresolved plots that aren't getting any resolution ever. sam lane went through an entire character arc and we didn't see any of it and it feels jarring, it feels like a writing fail. which is unfortunate because i really love this show and most of the writing has been very good, especially this season.
so i hope that they're able to be a bit tighter and more cohesive for season 3. and also pay chris parnell a hundred million dollars so he can voice anime slade wilson in every single episode.
#personal#my adventures with superman#the sam lane stuff in particular is just#like there was set up to make this a major arc especially for lois#so honestly it either needed to be left completely unresolved and then moved to season 3#or they needed to lengthen the time devoted to the brainiac invasion plot#like have this season be focused on clark and lois's issues and the sam lane stuff and lex's rise at task force x with waller#and maybe start with kara showing up on earth#and then have the space/brainiac stuff take place throughout season 3#like i am aware that they weren't renewed for season 3 at the time of making season 2#but there was still a way to make this season satisfying in its own right as a self contained story#while not making the ending of it kinda nonsensical and feel like it has a really slapdash resolution#and i don't think they nailed it#but i love this show and this season had far more positives than any kind of negatives#so i eagerly await season 3#release jack quaid from whatever bullshit is happening over at the boys and let him just be superman here for the next two decades
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whatever, i've reached a state of zen about it all actually. i don't want to blow up the team -otter with my mind anymore. they're just trying to build on the near-reverse-sweep vibes of last year's playoffs and lull all of vegas into a false sense of security by sucking as much as humanly possible
#stars lb#can we get a lineup change next game though. please. for real.#i wanted the ai theming to change after last game & it did so this is the request i'm putting out into the universe now#like w mush & faksy potentially hurt it Has to happen right#for the love of god fix the fourth line#bring back craig smith#fuck it bring back delly#call up mav! he had an insane game for the texas stars last night!! call the boy up and shove him in the pavelski household!!!#we tried the dadonov-faksa-steel thing for whatever fucking reason can we PLEASE move on now that faksa's maybe gone#but anyway!! i'm totally zen!!!#gonna watch early season episodes of project runway & move on!!!!
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update tinder guy superliked me, asked me on a date, spent the entire thing belittling and making fun of me and seeming vaguely angry at me. then asked me for a second date
#that was the worst weirdest date i have ever been on what the fuck#like. got weirdly angry at me for having a decent relationship with my immediate family#like 'oh well at least you have [blank] 🙄😒' so many times and would not stop reminding me how much harder his life supposedly is#literally asking me to say hardships in my life so he could 'one-up' them. ????????????#you would have literally thought i was a member of the royal family#like i had already said i was poor and was bullied in school and he was STILL kept insinuating-#-i had a family who gives me tons of money (lol) and was popular/well-liked in school. unlike him. of course#also making fun of my interests how i talk act write texts etc etc etc#you know who i bet would never do this. that's right. my crush who i can never have FUCK IT WE'RE BACK BOYS WOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK MOVING ON#one of his ice breakers was 'what's your worst tinder experience' though. guess what buddy!!!!#next time i get asked that i'll have a funnier story thank you
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i am once again thinking about The Boy
not the movie lol
#give it up for day 13#how has it just been 13 days since my first time seeing him in so long#🙈💕 i like how i haven't had A Crush in a sec and the last person it was on was him lol.#there's a lot of little stuff that's changed since then abt myself and between us ig but good lord i have never been more attracted to him#than i am now 😵💫😵💫 seeing him in sweats and a sleeveless turtleneck that first day has just had him in my head every day since#like HELP he's hot 😭 but then like... so am i omg (。ノω\。) actually cleaning my place finally so i can have him over lol#i know I'm hot but at the same time i forget ykwim.. until i look in a mirror or see a picture and I'm like oh right i exist.#anyways ms ma'am is getting better at talking to her friends abt these kinds of things ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡#i say that there's nothing I'd do for a lover that i wouldn't do for a friend and that i just love ppl fundamentally#and i know this is my true self‚ but I'm somewhat new to living that in practice and on purpose.#I'm a little clumsy i think but no one's seemed to mind 🙈💕 i am happy that I'm learning and i am happy to deepen my friendship#and i look forward to how much easier this will be to navigate a yr from now ^.^ I've been polyamorous for a year and a half ig#and i feel like I've found my comfort zone yk? :3 ♡ what being polyamorous Means To Me#it's good to be here.. i look forward to the friends i will make after i move and i wish i was more forward w the boy sooner omg#but it's okay. he won't be Too far away it's just a bit of a trip. i wanna have him over a couple times before i leave tho and hopefully#many more at the next place ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ but i will visit him too hehe his family's rly nice
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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You have Canadian vibes because you are like a nice person who has been driven mad by weather. Also I know you are NB but you give soft guy vibes
okay protip anon: don’t go “hey I know you ID as [gender]” and then misgender someone anyway. it makes you come across as perhaps just a bit transphobic. just a tip.
#answered#transphobia#whoops! turns out directly telling someone who’s nonbinary that you see them as some other gender despite their self-identification#is perhaps what we would call a DICK MOVE#and yes I do call myself a boy sometimes but there’s a difference between calling myself a fanboy (neutral)#(or even someone else calling me a fanboy or a mom friend or whatever without bringing up gender)#and someone else calling me a boy and clarifying that it’s specifically DESPITE the fact I’m gender-neutral#like you see why that’s bad right#you see how you have done a transphobia here?#good glad we had this talk
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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story time!
What Happened to Dimple
In late summer, Ritsu got very ill. He couldn't keep any food down and he was too weak to walk. Their limited food supplies were running out in the middle of nowhere, and Dimple was the only functional person in the group. Ritsu was out of it, and obviously Mob, a zombie with no goals except "eat whatever is in front of me" and "hang around with little brother", was little help on the finding-new-food front.
So Dimple had to find some way to keep Ritsu alive.
Before starvation set in, Dimple decided to intervene. It played out okay at first. He tied Ritsu to a tree (tied ropes around his torso, knotted them behind the tree trunk so Ritsu couldn't reach) and took Shigeo with him to go acquire some food from whoever passed by on the road they're traveling on first.
(he took Shigeo because he couldn't leave him with no able-bodied guardian—better to be safe than sorry, especially because. y'know. they're on the edge of starvation, and Shigeo is a zombie. but obviously Ritsu, dehydrated and dizzy, interpreted this as "Dimple Might Be Finally Stealing My Brother" despite Dimple trying to explain.)
(Ritsu didn't really protest, though. he was too weak to do much and also he didn't want to get eaten. he just let it happen. he hoped Dimple would come back. he hoped he was just being paranoid.)
the first food source they ran into, unfortunately, was a group of humans traveling with a cart. Dimple didn't really have qualms about stealing, but he tried asking peacefully first, using his "power over the zombie" (e.g. he convinced Shigeo to take a few steps back and Shigeo obliges him) to demonstrate that they could be a major threat. (he was bluffing, of course. Shigeo wasn't being "held back" by Dimple, he's just vibing.) and he was given food! food and water and even toilet paper and a blanket!
so then Dimple returned to their camp with Mob and the supplies, but the people they stole from were a trap—a convoy that deliberately draws people in so they can gauge parties' strength before stealing from them in return. Dimple and the Kageyama brothers got attacked by one (1) guy with a gun, because that's about all the firepower the convoy thought they needed to risk on this little group.
Dimple could've just given up the supplies and tried again. But the thing was, Ritsu didn't really have enough strength in him for that.
If Ritsu didn't get food and water and rest here, he really might have died. Also, they'd have to give up their ammo, which was what they were planning to trade for food in the next settlement they come to.
Dimple looked around. He looked at Shigeo, a half-baked plan to get Shigeo to Do Something forming, and saw him kneeling by Ritsu, eyes half-lidded, looking unresponsive. but Dimple knew Shigeo's body language by then, and he saw how his shoulders were subtly hunched over toward Ritsu, and instantly Dimple knew that the kid's patience had run out. going away from Ritsu with Dimple had been a big concession and now Shigeo was done.
So. Dimple took the supplies and lured the guy with the gun a little way away from the boys, and then he just straight-up attacked the guy. not with a gun, because he was forced to leave the guns in the camp with Ritsu.
Dimple dropped the supplies and made a move. He got shot, and it was Loud. but it just grazed his shoulder, so he managed to drag the guy away from the supplies. Dimple's goal was to prevent the boys from seeing any more death, and he succeeded.
Ritsu, meanwhile, heard that gunshot.
He'd been sleeping most of the time Dimple was away. He was a little more alert by the time Dimple got back, although still physically wiped. He heard that gunshot and froze. And then, doing rapid calculations and realizing that he was danger if Dimple was dead, he started fighting the ropes. He had to get away he had to get Shigeo away he had to RUN.
He fought the ropes silently at first, and then, slowly, his brain progressed from the logical "if Dimple is dead we're in trouble because that man knows our location" to "Dimple is dead, Dimple is dead". he started making a horrible cry as he tried to get free. He wasn't crying, exactly, didn't let himself relax that much, he was just making this kind of frustrated, despairing wail sound.
Shigeo had been watching Ritsu thrash and wriggle in increasing certainty that something was happening, but he didn't know if it was good or bad. The sound, though, the sound was bad. So he tried to help.
He helped by just pulling on the ropes, first, which broke Ritsu's ribs.
but he stopped when Ritsu made a pain sound and, for one of the first times Ritsu has seen him do this as a zombie, did something related to tool use. he went to the supplies and brought Ritsu a knife.
so the Kageyama brothers survived! yay!
#my zombie au#Dimple killed the guy. and dragged the body away from the site of the killing. he meant to get rid of the body#but what Dimple didn't realize was that the stress of the wound destroyed the balance his body had struck with the disease#so then he kind of speedran the 'becoming a zombie' process again without realizing it was happening to him#as he walked with the corpse he started getting more and more tired and single-minded (have... to... get... further... away...)#and he didn't notice he was experiencing anything more than blood loss#until the disease had taken his mind again#and he was just walking and walking and w....#also. hng. imagine Ritsu's perspective after the fact#from Ritsu's perspective#he'd doubted Dimple's intentions and partly resigned himself to being left to die. he was just hoping Dimple would return#and then Dimple came back with food and everything was going to be all right#and then Dimple went and got himself killed for them.#and no wonder Ritsu doesn't talk about it with Shigeo!!! this is Guilt Boy remember!!!!#the bandit convoy actually took Ritsu and Shigeo in for a little bit after that. they felt bad for them. for (they suspected)#getting their guardian killed. and they knew that Mob was very gentle. they saw it first-hand from Dimple earlier after all#they saw no issue with allowing this kid and his zombie brother to rest up with them for a while. not like the zombie was likely to—#—to survive long anyway—let alone hurt anyone. not as long as they kept him fed while his feverish brother was recovering#and they were really just a bunch of lost young adults trying to gather enough supplies to buy their way into a community#but once Ritsu's ribs were healed enough to move on#he snuck himself and Shigeo out in the middle of the night.#Ritsu got a lot of information from that convoy#including the rumor that (of all places) one of the splinters of his hometown (Seasoning City) had a cure
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