#I do not fault vaughn for moving on

[robntunney]

Don't use rational thought as a defense with me, not after all you and I have seen. Vaughn, you and I live and breathe madness every day on the job...there is no...rational thought! I can't even pretend to have a conversation about anything else with you. What it comes down to is faith.

[simplydannie]

Velvet has made choices that now have her, her brother, and their new ally, Apollo, facing death at the outer ridge of Under Rageous called the Edge….

….that is until a certain someone comes in… and sacrifices himself for the twins…

(Not canon events but interesting AU to my AU lol)

“LET US GO!”

Velvet kicked and screamed as the Under Rageons held her captive. They had driven them to the Edge…. The edge of Under Rageous where a large fault lay, it fell forever into an eternal void, and eternal abyss…. No one knew what lay at the bottom… just a black void.

The Under Rageons pulled Velvet out of the car first. Followed by her brother, then the Strobe, Apollo…. The traitor.

“Déjame ir, cabron!” The Strobe muttered in Spanish. All three had their hands tied behind their back as they lead them close and closer to the edge of the fault.

“You don’t have the right to say anything anymore, puto.” A Strobe grasped Apollo by his hair and pushed him forward, causing him to stumble to the ground, “You failed. You said you were gonna bring the brats to us… but what did you decide to do…. Side with them instead. Do some flirting am I right.” He winked at Apollo, glancing towards the young female Succubi.

“Leave him alone!” Velvet cried out.

“Yeah. Yeah. We’ll leave him alone alright. Along with all you three… at the bottom of the Edge. Move it.” Pointing their guns the guided the three closer and closer. Veneer stood his ground in between the guns and his sister…

“Why are you punishing her? She did what you wanted. She got to you the resources. Let her go!” He stared down the Under Rageons surrounding them…. He hoped they couldn’t see him buckling at his knees… he was terrified, but having Velvet walk out of here alive was his one and only goal.

“Yeah. She did. Then she double crossed. Which in the line of the cartel…. Is a sin that needs to be punished.” The Rageon clicked his gun.

“Cool it! I’m the one who betrayed you. Not her. And not him. Deal with me.” Apollos spoke up standing in front of Veneer and Velvet.

“…. What…. No.” Velvet murmured.

“Oh don’t worry, we’ll make sure to make you pay. Now stand in a line. NOW!”

“LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE! BASTARD!” Veneer flared as the yanked Velvet away from him.

“Oh, little puppy has a bark guys!” They all laughed.

They pushed and pulled them standing in a row at the edge of the fault. They faced the Edge, looking down at the dark void that awaited them at the bottom…. This was there end. Veneer looked at his sister…

“…Run…” He whispered to her, “Run once you get the chance, okay, Vels. I’ll give you time.”

She shot a glare at him, “What? And leave you behind?! No.” He could see the tears beginning to sting her eyes, “This….This is my fault…”

“…No it’s not, carina.” She heard Apollo say, “….We all screwed up…Especially me. You two run. I can hold them off long enough I think.” He winked at Velvet.

���No!….I’m not leaving you either…” She murmured.

“…Vels, please…” Veneer begged…They could hear the gun click as the Under Rageons prepared to fire, “…Please run…”

“ENOUGH!” A loud familiar, deep voice emerged from behind them. They all turned…the twins heart sank: it was their dad. “….Let them go. Let them all go.”

Vaughn demanded. All the Under Rageons around were the ones with guns, Vaughn was not armed, yet, they all trembled at his presence…

“Let. Them. Go.” He demanded again.

“No, no, no. That’s an option, mi amigo.” Another voice emerged. Making his way down through his goons was Eros, the Strobe mafia leader… Vaughns rival… no one hated Vaughn more than him, and Mistress of course. “Your daughter double crossed my cartel. That’s a big no no. So, she has to pay. Along with the rest of her little gang.”

Vaughn turned to face his daughter, “Dad…. I’m…. I’m sorry okay. I just…. I was desperate… so wanted to be my own person, prove I can make my own choices…. I didn’t…. I didn’t mean for any of this… especially bringing Veneer into this…. I’m….. I’m sorry.” Tears strolled down her cheeks as she looked her father in the eyes. What did she right now? A hug…. She wants to run into her father’s like she had so many times, and finally just embrace him.

“You’re willing to kill your own son?” Vaughn turned back to Eros.

“Not much of a son really. Double crossed me in order to help your brats.” Eros spat, “Now if you excuse me. I have some death wishes to grant.” He singled for his men to prepare to fire. Hesitantly they brought up their guns as they carefully eyed Vaughn.

Veneer took his place in front of his sister again, hoping he’d take most of the hits… Apollo stood his ground next to him as well.

“You got balls, amigo.” He smiled at Veneer.

“Thanks? I think?”

“It’s a compliment. Hermano to hermano .”

“Oh! Well, thanks!” Veneer beamed at the Strobe.

The guns clicked, but Vaughn spoke again, “…. Appeal.”

“Wait!” Eros stopped, “what did you say?” An evil grin coming to his face.

“Appeal. You know what that means. You know the code.”

“Oh I do! You not trying to play tricks are you, take me for a fool?”

“No. I came here alone, unarmed….I appeal.” Vaughn swallowed the lump in his throat. Eros smirked. With a single gesture of his hand his guards removed the three Rageons from the ledge.

“What? What does that mean? Dad, what does that mean?” Veneer demanded as he struggled against their grasped, “what does that mean?!”

One guard went over to Vaughn, afraid to touch him, he simply gestured for Vaughn to move closer to the edge, “…. Hey! Hey what gives!? Dad!? What gives?” Veneer called out again, tears falling down his face.

“….Im sorry…. It’s the only way I can protect you. Both of you…. You’re survivors… I know you got this.” He looked at both his children with the most sincere look…. The look of a father.

“…..Daddy….” Velvet murmured, a pitch coming to her voice as she tried to fight back the tears, “I’m sorry. We’ll figure this out okay. Just come away from the ledge. We’ll figure it out.” She spoke, her voice shaking as she began to cry.

“…. Look away sweetheart.”

“No! Daddy please! Please! Please no!” She cried, trying to pull herself free to run to her father, “Daddy please!”

“….. I love you….. both of you… so much…”

BANG!

The sound of the gunshot echoed through the fault… within moments their father was gone…. His body being sent down to the abyss.

“NO!” They both cried as they ran to the ledge. Apollo was quick at their heels. He grasped Veneer by the wrist as he fell to his knees, reaching over the ledge, crying out for his father. He was able to grasp Velvet by her arm.

“Let go! Let go!” She cried clawing at his hands

“I’m sorry…. I’m so, so sorry…” The Strobe murmured, tears forming in his own eyes.

“Let go!!! I need to get him!” She cried at the tops of her lungs.

“We need to make sure he’s okay! Let go!” Veneer began pulling his wrist away.

“…. He’s gone…. I’m so sorry….. but he’s gone…” Apollo closed his eyes as the twins let out the most gut wrenching cries he’d ever hear. Velvet fell into his arms, Veneer fell to his own knees.

Laughter approached. Eros went over to peak over the ledge. He spat at the abyss below, “If I knew this is what it would take for him to surrender so calmly I would’ve done this along time ago!!! Finally, the unde city is mine! Mine!!” He turned to his goons, “I just killed Vaughn Montegue once and for all!…. Get their asses tied up and back in the car!”

They went over to the three Rageons. The twins struggled against them still crying, still yelling for their father at the top of their lungs…..

Behind the thicket near the edge, small eyes watched as everything unraveled…

The small gasps and cries.

“…. Oh my god….” Poppy’s voice murmured.

“….. they….. they killed their dad…. Right in front of them.” Branches small voice echoed out. Her turned to face his brother next to him, “He knew…. He knew this would happen, wouldn’t he….”

Floyd stood silent. His head hung low….

“Take care of them for me. Be the father they always deserved….” Vaughns voice echoed through his skull. Yes…. The older Rageon knew what was to happen… to save his children… he sacrificed himself…Floyd wiped the tear that fell from his eye… his heart shattering into two.

“…. He’s with his wife now…. And my promise to both of them…. Take care of their children.” He looked at Branch and Poppy, “Let’s go save them.”

[justkeeponsimming]

Vaughn: “No issues with the move itself. It’s Bronie. She’s not adjusted to the new house, new school or anything…”

Confident, bright and bold Bronwyn isn’t coping with moving away from Evergreen Harbour? Hex’s eyes widen in surprise. She places her hands gently on Vaughn’s shoulders, trying to comfort him. This isn’t something either of them predicted. The move to Chestnut Ridge was meant to be the best thing for Bronwyn, not make things worse!

Hex: “I don’t get it…she was so excited…”

Vaughn: “I don’t think it sunk in until she had to say goodbye to her school friends. I feel horrible. It was always just Bronie and I. Then, I met you, and Bronie realised how important relationships are. She made new friends, then I took her away from them…”

Hex: “Vaughn…”

For once, Hex doesn’t know what to say. Vaughn’s inner turmoil hits her square in the chest, knocking the air out of her. He doesn’t know how much she understands where he’s coming from. He doesn’t know that she has three daughters who are not in contact with their father. It’s Hex’s fault, not theirs. She’s not told their father about them.

Hex: “Do you want me to talk to Bronie?”

Vaughn: “Not yet. I want her to come to us when she feels ready to talk. Would you like a house tour?”

Hex links her arm through Vaughn’s, dropping the subject. Perhaps Hex needs to influence Bronwyn’s emotions with her alien abilities so she doesn’t feel so conflicted about moving…

[amberskyyking]

Dying Isn't Very Regulation: Chapter 8

Fives never should have sent that comm to Rex's emergency channel.

(Or, a self-indulgent 5 9 16?? chapter fic inspired by Snapback by @toomanyteefs with Fives and Ninety-Nine, because I have emotions about this, they deserves the world, and the narrative has officially run away with me!)

Let me back there!

No, vod’ika. I have this under control.

He’s unconscious!

Yes. He’s under control.

There was a throbbing pain in Fives’s head as the voices drifted vaguely around him. He struggled to open his eyes, his face felt crusted and his mouth tasted like blood. Someone grabbed his hand. He blinked against the light in confusion and Ninety-Nine’s image began to focus in front of him, holding a bloody rag.

“Easy there,” Ninety-Nine said in a hushed tone, reaching up to dab at Five’s face. “It just stopped bleeding, don’t move too quickly or it might start up again.” 

Fives groaned. “I got my shebs kicked, didn’t I?”

“Well… A little yes. I didn’t mean to distract you.”

“It’s not your fault,” Fives muttered. He reached up to assess the damage and winced when he patted at bandages on his nose. 

“Careful,” Ninety-Nine warned. “It’s broken. That medic friend of yours from the 501st already set it, but he had to go. He was pretty furious with Wolffe…”

Ninety-Nine shook his head. “Well, medics never do like when we make more work for them, yeah?”

“No, that wasn’t why. He was furious that Wolffe didn’t listen to you. He believes you.”

“...Oh.” Something squirmed in Fives’s stomach at that. He hadn’t been sure what Nox thought of him on their trip, but that made two medics from the 501st who had believed him from the start… It made him wonder where Kix was in all this mess, and Vaughn for that matter, and Jesse. What happened to them? Could they be here too?

“It went over about as well as you’d think,” Ninety-Nine said sourly. “Medics are lucky they can pull rank, I suppose.”

“Karks sake Wolffe, some trooper turns up claiming to be Fives and you didn’t even tell me?!” The voices from outside rose again so Fives could hear them. “I’m going in, I have to see this myself.”

“Don’t tell me you really think-”

“Think what? That it could be real? With the rest of the Jedi osik going on would that really be so unbelievable?!”

“Yes! It would! People don’t come back from the dead -”

“Echo did!”

Fives sat bolt upright in his cot and a wave of dizziness washed over him. Ninety-Nine put a hand on his chest to hold him back.

“Rex don't be a-”

But a curtain ripped open, and there stood Rex, caked in dirt and grime so badly he could hardly tell the colors of his armor or his hair. The moment they locked eyes Rex froze. His face was all twisted up with shock, fear, and hope. Wolffe stood behind him, glowering in protest with his fresh black eye, but Fives hardly cared. 

“Rex!” He cried, voice cracking with emotion.

Full Chapter (And Story!): You'll Regret That Tattoo When You're Younger

[maypearlss]

𝐨𝐜 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : 𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐯𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐧

we've established that i love tommy, but logan might be my favorite of the original overconsumption lineup. i love scrawny, long-haired bisexual men, so i can't help if that gives him an automatic upper hand. he's got a lot of fun stuff going for him in the story, so i'm just super excited to get around to writing everything related to him! i don't even know if this is possible, but i hope you guys love him as much as i do!

every band starts somewhere. overconsumption starts with logan vaughn.

a man equal parts analytical and sentimental, logan is simultaneously the brain and heart behind overconsumption and it's music. the band has been his dream since he first picked up a pair of drumsticks, and he wants to make every day of being part of the group count. the only thing that beats his love for the band is his drive to make overconsumption the best it can be, but sometimes, that drive wears him down more than it's a help. but that can't be that big of an issue if you don't see it as one, and to logan, it all goes hand-in-hand with the rock 'n' roll business, a business he's trying to thrive in.

of course, being in a band with duke strickland as a frontman can get a bit testy. people like duke aren't the biggest fans of sharing success. but logan will have his time—in a bigger way than he thinks.

𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ⋆｡°✩

full name: logan jeremiah vaughn

age: 21 (1985)–tbd

birthday: october 2

pronouns: he/him

sexuality: bisexual

ethnicity: african-american

occupation: drummer for overconsumption

love interest(s): amelie aguirre

likes: tattoos, amelie, singing, metallica, motorcycling, beaches, tommy and may, pizza, summertime, ghost stories/legends

dislikes: failure, small spaces, sleeping on the job, drugs, mice, watching sports games, getting lost, bicycling

height: 6'

build: tall, thin

hair: long, brown locs

skin: dark brown

eyes: warm, dark brown

noticeable features: pierced ears, usually wears a pair of silver hoop earrings

𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ⋆｡°✩

⋆ let the music do the talking - aerosmith

⋆ good times bad times - led zeppelin

⋆ hit the lights - metallica

⋆ rock you like a hurricane - scorpions

⋆ dude (looks like a lady) - aerosmith

⋆ the four horsemen - metallica

⋆ rock and roll - led zeppelin

⋆ seek & destroy - metallica

⋆ for whom the bell tolls - metallica

⋆ sweet emotion - aerosmith

⋆ nobody's fault but mine - led zeppelin

⋆ fight fire with fire - metallica

⋆ heart's done time - aerosmith

⋆ whiplash - metallica

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 ⋆｡°✩

his design/vibes were kinda recycled from an old side wip of mine that didn't even make it to the plotting stage (i like this version of him much better <3)

he grew up in montana before his family moved to california in middle school

a signature part of his look is a necklace he made with a shark tooth he finds while at the beach

he's the only member of the original overconsumption lineup that draws a strict line when it comes to drug use as a result of an incident that happened when he was younger with one of him and tommy's old school friends, diane

he's one of those guys that are pretty suave with the random people that they see every day but then gets nervous when their crush makes eye contact with them

the second babygirl of the nona incident!, folks! he's such a blast to write i swear, also him and amelie's relationship is one of my favorite things I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

[bboyplankton]

2022 Playlist

1. Ab-Soul – Church on the Move

2. Action Bronson – Ninety One

3. Adekunle Gold feat. Stefflon Don – FYE

4. Adekunle Gold – Win

5. Adria Kain feat. Leila Day – Classic

6. Adria Kain – Lost One

7. Adria Kain – Melt Into You

8. Alexis Ffrench – Colours

9. Alex Isley & Jack Dine feat. Bas – On & On

10. Alex Vaughn – So Be It

11. Ali Gatie – Thinkin Bout You

12. Amber Mark – Bubbles

13. Ambré – Superstitious

14. Ant Clemons – In Between

15. Apollo Brown & Philmore Greene – Keep Goin’

16. Ari Lennox – Tatted

17. Arin Ray feat. D Smoke – The Mood

18. Armani Caesar – Queen City

19. August 08 feat. Jhené Aiko – Water Sign

20. Avril Lavigne feat. Mark Hoppus – All I Wanted

21. Bad Bunny feat. Jhay Cortez – Tarot

22. Banks – Holding Back

23. Benjiflow feat. Niji Adeleye – The Chill

24. Beyoncé – Plastic off the Sofa

25. BiC Fizzle – Turnt Shit

26. Big K.R.I.T. – Would It Matter

27. BigWalkDog – Pray

28. Black Eyed Peas feat. J. Rey Soul – Double D’z

29. Boldy James & Cuns – Earned Not Given

30. Boldy James & Cuns – Foot Prints

31. Brandy Haze – Look What You Made Me Do

32. Brent Faiyaz feat. Tre’ Amani – Addictions

33. Burna Boy feat. Blxst & Kehlani – Solid

34. Calvin Harris feat. Normani, Tinashe, & Offset – New To You

35. Cautious Clay – Butterflies in August

36. Che Ecru – 4 This Moment

37. Chris Brown – Harder

38. Christina Aguilera feat. Nathy Peluso – Pa Mis Muchachas

39. Col3trane – Lights Out

40. The Cool Kids feat. Larry June – All or Nothing

41. The Cool Kids – Home Improvement

42. The Cool Kids feat. 6lack & JID – Lightwerk

43. The Cool Kids feat. Pell & A-Trak – Too Bad

44. Cordae – Super

45. Curren$y & The Alchemist feat. Styles P – Whale Watching

46. CyHi – Help Me God

47. Daddy Yankee feat. El Alfa & Lil Jon – Bombón

48. Dave East, Buda & Grandz, & DJ Drama – Prison Yard

49. Dayglow – Deep End

50. Dayglow – Then It All Goes Away

51. Denzel Curry feat. 454 – Sanjuro

52. Destin Conrad – It’s Yours

53. Devvon Terrell – Hating Interlude

54. Dizzy Wright & DJ Hoppa feat. Chris Webby – Outlaws

55. Doe Boy feat. Rowdy Rebel & 42 Dugg – Ain’t My Fault

56. Drake & 21 Savage – Spin Bout You

57. Dram – Wham

58. Dreezy – 21 Questions

59. Duke Deuce feat. Glorilla – Just Say That

60. Duke Deuce feat. Lil Thad, Dubba G, & Glockianna – Respect

61. DVSN – Bring It

62. DVSN – Take It Slow

63. Dylan Synclair – Open

64. Earl Sweatshirt – 2010

65. Eli Darby – Up

66. Ella Mai – Leave You Alone

67. Emotional Oranges – Make Me Wanna

68. Emotional Oranges – She Gotta Man

69. Fana Hues – Breakfast

70. FKA Twigs feat. Jorja Smith & Unknown – Darjeeling

71. FKA Twigs – Oh My Love

72. Freddie Gibbs feat. DJ Paul – PYS

73. Future – Back to the Basics

74. Future – Puffin on Zootiez

75. IDK – Breathe

76. IDK feat. Denzel Curry – Dog Food

77. Jack Harlow – Lil Secret

78. Jada Kingdom – Next Time

79. Jalen Santoy feat. Cyanca, Erick Lottary, Well$, Reuben Vincent – Dismissal

80. Jalen Santoy – White Rice

81. Jesse Reyez feat. 6lack – Forever

82. JID – Crack Sandwich

83. John Legend feat. JID – Dope

84. John Legend feat. Jazmine Sullivan – Love

85. John Legend feat. Jhené Aiko & Ty Dolla $ign – Splash

86. Jor’dan Armstrong – Emotions

87. Juicy J, Lex Luger, & Trap-A-Holics – Hit the Smoke

88. Justin Garner – Cry On Me

89. Justin Garner – These Fires

90. Kenyon Dixon feat. Susan Carol – Here

91. Kranium – Early in the Morning

92. K. Roosevelt – Golden Hour

93. Landon Thomas – Feelings

94. Larry June – Organic Adjustments

95. Larry June feat. 2 Chainz – Still Boomin

96. Lucky Daye – Feels Like

97. Lucky Daye – Over

98. Lupe Fiasco feat. Nayirah – Autobots

99. Lupe Fiasco – Naomi

100. Marc E. Bassy – Having Fun

101. Marc E. Bassy – How Dare I

102. Marques Houston – Right One

103. Maverick Sabre – Can’t Be Wrong

104. Maverick Sabre – Get Down

105. Megan Thee Stallion – Red Wine

106. Method Man – Guillotine

107. Metro Boomin feat. A$AP Rocky & Takeoff – Feel the Fiyaaaah

108. Mickey Factz feat. Ayo Shamir – Regrets

109. Mikhala Jené – Black Love

110. Mikhala Jené – The Switch

111. Miraa May feat. Raye – Go Girl

112. Miraa May – Akeem’s Outro

113. Naomi Lareine – Just Met

114. Naomi Lareine – Paris

115. Nas – Reminisce

116. Nez feat ScHoolboy Q – Let’s Get It

117. Nia Sultana feat. Che Ecru - Cristal

118. Nick Grant – Spellcheck

119. Nnamdï – Benched

120. Nnamdï – I Don’t Wanna Be Famous

121. Ogi – I Got It

122. ØHenry – Belong With Me

123. Omar Apollo – Tamagotchi

124. Orion Sun – Pressure

125. Paul Wall & Termanology feat. KXNG Crooked & Wais P – Clubber Lang

126. Paul Wall & Termanology – Recognize My Car

127. Pharrell Williams feat. 21 Savage & Tyler, the Creator – Cash In, Cash Out

128. Pink Sweat$ feat. Kirby – Better

129. Pink Sweat$ feat. Sabrina Claudio – Waiting On You

130. PJ Morton feat. Wale – So Lonely

131. Pusha T – Brambleton

132. Pusha T feat. Kanye West – Dreamin of the Past

133. Quavo & Takeoff – Bars Into Captions

134. Raheem DeVaughn feat. Arrishun – Catching Feelings

135. Raheem DeVaughn – Retrograde

136. Ransom feat. Simone Pash – Can’t Complain

137. Ravyn Lenae feat. Steve Lacy – Skin Tight

138. Rayana Jay – Unfair

139. Royce Da 5’9” – Dead President Heads

140. Saba feat. Krayzie Bone – Come My Way

141. Saba – Stop That

142. SAFE – Yonge Street

143. Samm Henshaw – Enough

144. Samm Henshaw feat. Tobi Nwigwe – Take Time

145. Siergio – Clothes On

146. Siergio – Take You Out

147. Smino – No L’s

148. Smino feat. Lil Uzi Vert – Pudgy

149. Smoke Dza feat. Steven Young – Right Now

150. Snoop Dogg – Crip Ya Enthusiasm

151. Steve Lacy – Give You the World

152. Sy Ari Da Kid – Vantage Point

153. Syd feat. Kehlani – Out Loud

154. Symba feat. Pusha T – Never End Up Broke Pt. 2

155. SZA – T-Shirt

156. Tank feat. J Valentine – Slow

157. Tank & the Bangas – Jellyfish

158. Tiana Major9 – On God!

159. Tim Lyre – Real

160. Tim Lyre – Spanish Lime

161. Tink – Goofy

162. Tobe Nwigwe & Fat Nwigwe – They Want It, But No

163. Tobi Lou feat. T-Pain – 2hrs+

164. Tobi Lou – Busy

165. Tyler, the Creator & Nigo – Come On, Let’s Go

166. UMI – Too Late

167. Vedo & OG Parker feat. Baby Tate – Come First

168. Vedo & OG Parker – Face Down

169. Vince Staples – Player Ways

170. The Weeknd – Is There Someone Else

171. The Weeknd – Out of Time

172. Westside Boogie feat. Storm Ford – Killa Mode

173. Westside Gunn feat. Busta Rhymes & Raekwon – Science Class

174. Wiz Khalifa, Big K.R.I.T., & Girl Talk – Put You On

175. Wizkid – Everyday

176. Xavier Omär – Feelings 4 You

177. YG feat. Mozzy & D3szn – How To Rob of A Rapper

178. YG feat. J. Cole & Moneybagg Yo – Scared Money

179. Yuna – Don’t Wanna Know

180. Yung Bleu feat. Kelly Rowland – Freak Freak

[baubeautyandthegeek]

Listen to your heart when she's calling for you//Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do – Hazel Vaughn/Lola Alvarez

A/N: Day 25 Part 3 for @augustofwhump

Hazel does a good job of hiding pain. She always has, but when Lola finds her alone, staring out across the Station as she stands on the balcony, it’s obvious something is hurting her. Tear stains sit on her cheeks and Lola moves closer slowly, moving to wrap a blanket around Hazel’s shoulders, letting the other woman turn in her arms and sob, her voice soft as she strokes Hazel’s back. “It’s okay Hazey… I’ve got you.” “He’s gone Lo…” “I know. I know Haze… but he’ll be okay. He’s a strong man, after all.” “Did I chase him off?” “No. God no… he just needed to take a break, find himself…” Lola’s sigh is soft. “It’s not our fault Haze.”

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this Week # 144 (Year 3/Week 40):

“Are you girls ready for the greatest weekend of your life?"

- You say that every weekend! -

"Well, yeah, we’re doing that again”

People, places, things used to be my one of favourite movies to re-watch with Adora 6-7 years ago, as we were all struggling with the dynamics of the similar, sudden changes in our lives. A very sweet Brooklyn Indie about a single dad to cute 6 year old twin daughters. Genuine and delicate romance with sharp dialogue about love and hurt. It was my introduction to a group of ‘minor’ actors I had followed since, Jemaine Clement, Regina Hall, Jessica Williams, Michael Chernus. Feel Good and heart warming. 10/10.

🍿

3 Film Noir with Gloria Grahame:

🍿 The Big heat, Fritz Lang's 1953 paranoid Noir about honest homicide detective Glenn Ford going against all-city police corruption. With young Lee Marvin, playing a creepy “Heavy”, as well as Marlon Brando’s sister. 8/10.

🍿 The following year, Fritz Lang again directed Glenn Ford as a straight up train engineer as he falls again for Gloria Grahame in Human desire. But the woman is not a heartless Femme fatale. She's an abused wife, with a history of being harmed by men her whole life, who can't find any easy way to survive. Based on 'La Bête humaine' by Émile Zola (which I didn't read).

🍿 Re-watch: Nicholas Ray’s In a lonely place. Humphrey Bogart is rage-filled, entitled writer, who becomes a suspect in a murder while falling for Grahame who lives across the courtyard of his Hollywood apartment. A mystery about a dark and self-centered male, who's allowed to be aggravated and aggressive when he doesn't get his way. (Photo Above).

🍿

“Oy! Keep your fingers out of my soup!”

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, my third Guy Ritchie / Matthew Vaughn crime caper. I really don't understand why I resisted checking them out up to now. This, Snatch, Layer cake, all terrific, gritty, multi-layered Tarantino-style black comedies. 8/10.

🍿

2 by French screenwriter Emmanuèle Bernheim, both directed by François Ozon:

🍿 My favorite random discovery of the week: Swimming pool. An erotic thriller with bookish Charlotte Rampling as a middle-aged British author, single and reserved, who travels to a summer villa in Avignon. Like most stories of Northerners in the South of Europe, she falls into a trap of unexpected dreams and desires, when a young promiscuous girl invades her vacation. Ambiguous play of realty and fantasy leaves this a bit of a mystery, like the books she usually writes.

🍿 5X2 is a small story about the disintegration of a middle class marriage, told in reverse order. The first of five episodes, (each lasting exactly 18 minutes), starts at a lawyer's office, reading the terms of the divorce between a husband and wife. And the other chapters go back into other times in the relationship. All the way to the first one years ago when they met at an Italian resort. It's an engaging and bitter-sweet drama, but without any conclusive and clear insights: Yes, love is impossible, sex is unexplained, nobody is at fault.

Between each episode, Italian pop songs from the 1960's comment on the meaning of each move. 7/10.

🍿

Gregory’s Girl, the feel-good Scottish comedy by Bill Forsyth, about an awkward teenager who falls for a soccer playing girl. A wholesome coming-of-age, sweet and charming.

🍿

Martin Scorsese X 2:

🍿In a 25-minutes conversation with GQ, Scorsese breaks down his most iconic films, 'Taxi Driver,' 'Gangs of New York,' 'Goodfellas,' 'The Departed,' 'Raging Bull,' 'The Wolf of Wall Street,' 'Mean Streets,' 'The Irishman,' 'Silence,' and 'Killers of the Flower Moon.

🍿 I wished I had seen Mean Streets decades ago, before all of his other gangster movies; Now I must compare it to 'Goodfellas' and 'Casino'. Obviously it's still a younger filmmaker at the beginning of his mastery of the craft. It's odd to observe De Nero as a total 'Loser', a small time, good for nothing, deadbeat wannabe. A character study more than an action film.

🍿

Ram Dass, going home, a quiet documentary about spiritual "guru" Baba Ram Dass at the end of his life, dispensing ancient words of wisdom as he reflects on life and death at his home in Maui. Sagely, meditatively, peacefully, it's a simple and peaceful poem of spirituality.

🍿

3 classic comedies:

🍿 The bank dick, WC Fields as Egbert Sousé, a goofy drunk. Written by his alias Mahatma Kane Jeeves, filmed and presented in Lompoc, CA, and much of the story centered around The Black Pussy Cat bar. It ends with a hilarious car race that is both wild and hilarious.

🍿 First watch: Buster Keaton’s last great film, the 1928 The Cameraman. "The worst mistake of his life" he called it, because with his move to MGM and various studio politics, he lost his ability to control his productions. Agile and romantic.

🍿 Triple trouble is an unusual Charlie Chaplin 2-reeler from 1918. It combines a number of primitive Chaplin-directed scenes, which were edited by Essaney Studio, against his wishes, as he left them to form his own. A patchwork of pratfalls, slapstick, and visual jokes, that don't form a coherent story.

🍿

The trailer for the restored Belle De Jour tempts me to watch this subversive masterpiece again and again!

🍿

An experimental short by infamous Danish surrealist artist Wilhelm Freddie, (together with Jørgen Roos) Eaten horizons. 21 years after Buñuel‘s ‘Andalusian Dog’, it demonstrates unfiltered inspiration from the master.

🍿

While waiting for his ‘Zone of interest’, here is Jonathan Glazer’s banned commercial for Cadbury’s Flake chocolate. Recently I watched the many commercials he directed on his old YouTube channel, (for example, his Guinness black swim),

but now I also saw his music videos, which he directed between his four features. 33 in total. "Today I learnt" that I don’t care much for music videos.

🍿

(My complete movie list is here)

[cassiewestwood]

It's a silly town. Out of all the conversation that had led up to the pair of ex-wives that made their way into a booth inside a punny establishment, that was what had stuck with Cassie the most. Perhaps that was due to the level of numbness she'd begun to feel toward her current lot in life. So much hung on yet another love lost, the sourness of being replaced, and having to make herself all over again. There was also the impending divorce and how nasty it could possibly get. What would the aftermath bring her?

Would Vaughn take the boys and leave her penniless and without a home? Would that fucking mini me mistress take up her space in what had been her home as well? New York was unfortunately a no fault state and since Cassandra hadn't worked in over twenty years nor had she any income or means outside of her husband most judges wouldn't hand over custody of two children. Unless she got a decent settlement from their fifteen years along with alimony and child support. She had all the faith in Teddy's abilities as a lawyer, the prospects and the likely reality of a bleak future worried her nonetheless.

When the waitress came Cassie had looked up and then sent a thankful glance Terry's way across the table at their quick thinking. The menu was discarded to the edge of the table while her thoughts swam with what they, across from her, had said before they'd filed inside for an impromptu catchup. "Thank you," Cassandra had said, fingers combing through some strands of her now near chocolate hued tresses, "it's growing on me. I think I might like it better than my natural color." It wasn't said with much conviction or confidence, further evidenced by the lazy shrug of indifference. "I'm not sure how long I'll be here in town. I just need to talk to Saul and Teddy. I really have no idea where to go or what to do next," she confessed. "I just can't go back home to my mother."

It felt wrong, shameful even that she wanted to ask Terry how they did it. How they'd managed to get through divorce and starting their life over with a child, and how they'd come out so far on top. The talk of their guest lecturing and leading classes at the university reminded Cassie that Terry had a big degree from a big school and had also worked at a top firm. Their projects had been amazing. They'd made the right moves along the way whereas Cassandra had never quite had that same opportunity of path. In a way, she felt shut down from venturing anymore thoughts and questions toward them in that vein.

"So, you have a cabin here?" It was the best that she could come up with. There was actually so much she could converse with Terry about, but she felt overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings at the moment.

Architecture, they can talk about just fine. Just as a building let itself be anchored—embedded—into the earth, Terry made use of the topic as a grounding sensation, to ease into the conversation filled with the customary how are yous. “Both the faculty and the current student cohort are small, but I’d rather have a class of ten people than an entire lecture hall who don’t quite share the same interests as you do.” They hummed in consideration at her next question, “Blue Harbor is… fine. Smaller than what I’m used to. It might take a bit longer to say I like it.” And it’s easier, still, to talk about Micah, the lens through which they viewed the world longest. “I know he’d love to see you when you can, or before you leave. He’ll be here for the summer.” 

Trying new things. “Would you like to work? Is that something you might be interested in? There are a few job openings available at the university’s legal department,” they began, recalling how—“my Mama got her paralegal certificate at forty years old. I’m sure that’s still an option.” They inhaled sharply, chest tightening as they forced themselves to pause, a hand hovering at the coolness of the leather buckle to keep their words from spilling out too quickly. “I don’t know if that’s what you’d want. I might be overstepping here, and, well, Saul probably has better connections, I mean, he’s the fucking lawyer after all—” They let out a nervous chuckle, the sound catching in their throat before dropping their voice back into its usual, measured cadence, “but I can help. Just if you need.”

The last of those chuckles dissipated at the weight of the other’s confessions. “I’m sorry. That’s not a good feeling to sit on,” they said, their gaze was drawn back to the ground, swallowing down the guilt, unable to help but recall their own cruel dismissal of Sev. They wondered what it must feel like to be on the receiving end of that pain, only to push the thought away, the comparisons too colored by complication and their own different contexts to comprise a faithful analogy. 

Younger and better? It’s strange, Terry thought, that they might have made the same case for Cassie all those years ago. The contexts might have been different, but it was not hard to recall the churning feeling in their gut as the rumor mill of the WLRK’s legal offices in Midtown transcended miles and industries to reach them, some two miles over, in their architectural firm’s office by the Meatpacking District. Even then, Terry recalled, the news of their ex-husband dating a younger and more beautiful paralegal fresh out of college did not provoke something so juvenile as heartbreak, even as petty as jealousy, two things that might have been befitting for an ex-wife to recall in those moments—only the sting of imagining an ex-husband having someone to love and to come home to, while their toddler slept in a bedroom that, despite his short life, was already the third place he’d called home. 

“It’s strange to say, but I understand what that’s like. I mean—it’s different, of course, but—” Whatever words that came next slipped from their grasp, lost to the wind. They don’t know whether Cassie would appreciate the analogy, not when she was still reeling. It did not help that she had gestured to herself, too, which disrupted their already muddled thoughts. They turned back their gaze from the noisy establishment and towards her. It was an invitation to observe, and they did so, without prejudice, their auburn locks replaced with a more muted brown that matched their eyes. “For what it’s worth, I think the color suits you,” they began, “like the fire of the hearth has receded, but the world’s still warm.” 

They turned their gaze back—always, they turned their gaze back—and slid into the nearest empty booth they could find. Despite the lunch hour, the shop blessedly did not have as many patrons as it ought to, perhaps owing to the limited menu. “Just margaritas, I’m afraid. I think’s that the whole shtick of Margz & Margz? Just margherita pizzas and margaritas. It’s a silly town.” A thin, anxious laugh, escaped their lips. “If you think the options are limited, we can take a cab to my cabin later and—” 

Before Terry could complete the thought, a waitress came up to the pair to take their order, to which they replied quickly, “Well, I suppose we’ll start with two margaritas and two slices of pizza, no?” They said. With a cursory glance thrown towards Cassie, the order was finalized as quickly as the waitress came. 

Instinctively, their fingers drummed a quick, uneven rhythm on the table, finally posing a question of their own—“Cassie, how long will you be in town?”

[genuinerio]

SAME OLD LOVE ↠ 「 RUE BENNETT 」

Profile of Jacqueline Noelle.

NOTE: Sorry, I decided to revise my OC and change some things. So now, she’s Maddy’s sister and her name is Jackie.

ABOUT ↴

FULL NAME: JACQUELINE NOELLE PEREZ.

NICKNAMES: JACKIE, QUEEN BEE JACKIE. (everyone), MINI ME. (maddy), MISS INDEPENDENT, MISS THANG. (suze), JACK, BABE, PRINCESS, BABY GIRL, GORGEOUS. (rue).

PRONOUNS: SHE/HER.

BIRTHDAY: 20th November 2001.

ZODIAC SIGN: SCORPIO.

AGE: 18 (approximately).

GENDER: FEMALE.

HEIGHT: 5’7.

HAIR COLOR: BROWN.

EYE COLOR: BROWN.

STATUS: ALIVE.

EDUCATION: EAST HIGHLAND HIGH SCHOOL. (currently), JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL. (formerly, graduated).

OCCUPATION: HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT. (currently), CHEERLEADER. (currently).

FAMILY: TED PEREZ. (father), SONIA PEREZ. (mother), MADDY PEREZ. (sister).

FRIENDS: MADDY PEREZ. (sibling, best friend), KAT HERNANDEZ. (childhood best friend), CASSIE HOWARD. (close friend, formerly, later on), BARBARA BROOKES. (close friend), FAYE. (friend, housemate), RUE BENNETT. (close friend, on-again, off-again ex-girlfriend), LEXI HOWARD. (good friend), JULES VAUGHN. (friend), NATE JACOBS. (frenemy, formerly), CHRIS MCKAY. (good friend), ELLIOT. (friend).

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: BISEXUAL.

ROMANCES: RUE BENNETT. (on-again, off-again, ex-girlfriend), WES. (hookup), TYLER. (hookup), MCKAY. (hookup, potential former friends with benefits), DANIEL. (hookup, kissed), ELLIOT. (crush-by-on, eventual hookup), LUKE KASTEN. (hookup, potential ex-boyfriend), VARIOUS OF OTHER UNNAMED HOOKUPS. (currently).

ENEMIES: NATE JACOBS. (currently), CAL JACOBS. (currently), CASSIE HOWARD. (currently).

STRENGTHS: LEADERSHIP, CREATIVITY, CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT, OUTGOING, ENTERTAINING and HONEST, PORTRAYING HERSELF AND PRETENDING THAT SOMETHING DOESN’T AFFECT HER AS BADLY AS IT DOES.

WEAKNESSES: PERFECTIONIST, FLIRTATIOUS (a weakness to Rue), OVERCONFIDENCE, CAN BE SEEN AS INSENSITIVE AT TIMES, PROMISCUITY, COMPETITIVE, SHE MAY HAVE DADDY ISSUES and IS SCARED OF COMMITMENT BECAUSE OF IT.

HOBBIES: ENJOYS BEING A POPULAR GIRL, FASHION, ART, BEING WITH HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

GOALS: HELP RUE ACHIEVE SOBRIETY (ongoing) and END NATE JACOBS, (ongoing), TO BECOME A FASHION DESIGNER. (ongoing).

PERSONALITY TYPE: ENTJ.

ENNEAGRAM: 3w4.

SEASONS: SEASON ONE, SEASON TWO.

APPEARED IN: 17 EPISODES. (currently, so far).

FIRST APPEARANCE: CHAPTER I. SAME OLD LOVE, SAME OLD BULLSHIT EXCUSE.

FACE CLAIM: DANNA PAOLA. (adult), ARIANA GREENBLATT. (as a child, younger), ISABELLA FERREIRA. (lexi’s play, season two).

FACTS ABOUT JACKIE:

1. The name Jacqueline means, “May God Protect,” and is from French origin.

2. Growing up, she’s maintained a very close bond with her sister, Maddy considering that they are only a few months apart. Maddy often cites Jackie as her “mini me,” considering of their striking similarities.

3. Despite the fact that like her sister, she is very popular among her peers, she isn’t quite how others assume her to be. In fact, Jackie is very kind to those who she cares strongly for and isn’t shallow by any means despite what others may say.

4. It’s very clear that Jackie holds a strong hatred towards Nate with taking into consideration his abusive behavior towards her sister, she believes that Maddy can find (and will eventually do so) someone better that is more suited to her.

5. Despite how badly she wanted to deny this, Jackie knew that the various fallouts throughout their relationship wasn’t entirely Rue and her substance abuse issues fault but rather both as Jackie suffered with commitment issues.

6. Jackie tends to withhold a very energetic and life of the party personality which with this personality trait, everyone enjoys amongst other traits. Another trait however, is her flirtatiousness, mainly, the only person who hates this trait of hers is on-again, off-again girlfriend, Rue especially at times when they are broken up as she gets jealous seeing her flirting and moving on with someone else.

7. Rue believes that she and Jackie are soulmates. She has also told her, personally a few times. Considering, she’s very in love with Jackie and has been since their friendship turned into a romantic relationship.

8. Despite their tumultuous relationship, Jackie and Rue have remained close friends throughout it. In fact, at times in need of comfort, Rue would call Jackie for them to talk as Rue sees Jackie as among the ones who had loved her regardless of her flaws, has always tried to help her and only wanted the best for her like others such as Leslie and Gia.

9. Jackie is the type of person who likes to keep her feelings, emotions and any further heartache bottled up and likes to pretend like a particular heartache didn’t affect her as badly as it did as she doesn’t see herself being very vulnerable.

10. Both Leslie, Robert, Gia and Ali love Jackie and approve of the relationship she and Rue share. They view Jackie as a very kind person and someone who is a very strong influence on Rue especially since she’s always been there for Rue despite the highs and lows in their relationship.

11. Although she identifies as bisexual, Jackie mentioned that it doesn’t matter when it comes to gender regarding a relationship whether romantic or sexual as she likes a person based on their personality and interests rather than their gender identity.

12. Like her sister, Maddy and close friend, Cassie, she is a part of the cheerleading squad at their shared high school, East Highland.

13. In spite of her popularity as well as life of the party personality, Jackie doesn’t see herself as much of a partygoer like her older sister, Maddy. In fact, most times, she attends the parties in both, Maddy, her friends and Rue’s convincing.

14. Despite the kindness to only those she cares truly for, Jackie also tends to withhold a very dominant personality and is someone who typically wears the pants in her romantic relationships.

15. It is quite known and has been pointed out by numerous close friends and loved ones, for example, Maddy has mentioned that her sister is a very competitive person when it comes to achieving her goals.

16. Multiple people have mentioned that they found Jackie to be quite intimidating as she has a very strong personality. Others like Leslie and Lexi enjoy this trait a lot as they find her to be quite a strong influence on Rue.

17. Jackie is a very goal-oriented type of person and strives to be very successful in every aspect and decision of her life. She tries not to care about what it costs even if it pains her.

[whimsicallyreading]

You Don’t Even Go Here

Day Two for Rowaelin Month

A college AU

~

Aelin grins mischievously as she walks up the stairs of the men's dorm at Terresan University. The teal-blue waffle iron clutched under her arm.

Aedion didn't really need it. It had been on the fifty-percent-off rack at the supermarket, and he'd simply thrown it in the cart for good measure. Yet, when Aelin saw the box for it laying the hall, she'd seen opportunity.

It had hit her harder than she'd thought. Aedion leaving. They'd been raised like siblings but grew up something closer to best friends. It wasn't fair that he was nearly three years older and ready to leave when she wasn't prepared for him to go.

Aelin had cried the whole car ride home. Then when they finally got back to the house, she'd called him right away. He could hear how teary she was and happily obliged her call. Narrating his actions as he went about setting up his dorm room. He teased her about missing him, but she could tell that he missed her too.

So, armed with an excuse to visit him, Aelin made the hour-long drive to visit her cousin.

Aelin was halfway up the stairs but not paying too much attention to her surroundings. She was too busy repeating Aedion's room number over in her head because no matter how many times she checked her phone, it just wouldn't stick in her head. Maybe if she'd focused a little more on the things happening around her, she wouldn't have crashed into a half-naked man.

A solid and calloused hand darts out and grips her shoulder before she can go tumbling down the stairs. Its twin desperately clutching the towel wrapped around his waist.

Aelin looks up apologetically, and her jaw nearly falls to the floor. His white hair was still damp from the shower and swooped over the top of his head, and his biceps were too large for Aelin to wrap both hands around. An intricate tattoo coils elegantly from a cheekbone and down the length of his body.

He was a man indeed. Nothing like Chaol or Dorian or any of her junior friends. This was a new breed of man. The apex kind. Aelin is pretty sure she looks like a deer in the headlights, and she's too busy ogling him to understand the words he'd been repeating to her.

"Are you okay?" His eyebrows are furrowed as if he's afraid he'd literally struck her stupid. Aelin felt that wasn't far from the truth.

"Yes, sorry," she apologizes as she steps back, suddenly very aware of how in his personal space she was. "I wasn't paying attention. You just caught me by surprise."

Aelin was definitely panicking. Where was her swagger when she needed it most? Why would it choose now to abandon her?

By some miracle, he doesn't seem off-put by her awkwardness. In fact, a smile curls the edges of his lips, revealing a set of dimples that made her heart stumble.

Gods he had dimples.

"No, I ran into you. It's my fault. My name is Rowan.”

He holds out a hand, and Aelin shakes it clumsily. "I'm Aelin."

"Aelin." She loves the way her name rolls off his tongue. "I haven't seen you around before. Are you a freshman?"

Oh no. Aelin's eyes widen, but she recovers swiftly and smooths her features out. Rowan thinks she's a student. Not some crazy high schooler too emotionally dependent on her cousin.

"I'm actually a junior," Aelin laughs at his perplexed expression. "I don't go here, though. I'm just stopping by to drop off some things my cousin forgot."

White lies. What was a white lie worth? Aelin likely wouldn't ever see him again, and is it so wrong for a girl to enjoy some harmless attention? If Aelin spent more time thinking about it, she probably wouldn't like the answers she'd come up with, but that was neither here nor there.

"Is that a waffle maker?" Rowan's green eyes glint with amusement.

"My cousin loves to eat. What year are you?" Aelin crosses her fingers that he's the same age as Aedion and not a senior or something. Her cousin would murder her if he found out she flirted with a man five years older.

"Don't we all? I'm a sophomore, a bit younger than you, I suppose." Rowan drags a hand through his hair. "Listen, I know you came to see your cousin, but maybe I could get your number, and we could get a cup of coffee before you head out?"

Was this really happening? Aelin inwardly squealed with excitement. Lysandra would die when she recounted this story later. "Sure."

Just as she pulled her phone from her pocket, an all too familiar voice materialized behind her. "Aelin?"

Aedion smiles as he lays eyes on his beloved cousin. He takes a couple steps down the stairs, and that grin quickly fades as he sees the naked man.

Oops, she'd forgotten that detail.

"Rowan?" Aedion's eyes harden as they lock on Rowan. "Why the hell are you ogling my cousin with no clothes on?"

"You know him?" Aelin swears under her breath. She cannot believe her luck.

Aedion laughs coldly as he sizes up Rowan, "He's my roommate, but he's about to be a corpse. Why are you perving on my seventeen-year-old cousin?"

Rowan's looks between the bewildered. "You said you were a junior?"

Aedion laughs harshly as Aelin blushes. "I am...just in highschool. Not college. I told you I didn't go here."

"I didn't realize I was rooming with a pedophile," Aedion grabs Aelin and pulls her to his chest. "Was he bothering you?"

"Pedophile?" Rowan's dimples have disappeared, and he looks at Aedion disturbed. "I'm only nineteen!"

Aelin shoves away from Aedion's boorish grip. "The only one bothering me is you."

Rowan's cheeks are flushed red as the full impact of the situation they were found in dawns on him. Damn it if Aelin didn't find his blush endearing. He is a solid chunk of muscle. How is everything he does so cute?

"Look, I just got out of the shower, and I bumped into Aelin. It was an accident. She was just on her way to give you your waffle maker-"

"You brought my waffle maker?" Aedion cuts Rowan off, eyeing the box under her arm.

That's when Aelin sees it. The twinkle of mischief in his eye and the forced concern. Aedion was playing her. He obviously knew Rowan wasn't a creep and saw the perfect opportunity to cause chaos. Aelin scowls at him, and that spark grows brighter. It's moments like this she wonders why she ever missed her cousin in the first place.

Aedion tugs the box out of her grasp and smiles. "Wow. This is perfect timing. Vaughn and Fen were just talking about making breakfast for dinner." He looks at Aelin and forces a frown. "If I'd known you were coming, I would have invited you, but it would kind of be rude to bring a guest now."

"What?" Aelin sputters. She drove all this way, and he was really going to ditch her? It was embarrassing, but tears prickled at the edges of her eyes. He was an ass, but she obviously came because she missed him, and he didn't even care? She really thought they were closer than that.

"Yeah. Sorry, Lin." Aedion points at Rowan, who was just standing to the side, thoroughly uncomfortable. Yet, despite the awkwardness, he hadn't left. "Hey, you owe me one for creeping on my little cousin. Earn my trust back and see that she has something for dinner and gets to her car safely? She has my phone number, one bad text, and your ass is grass."

Aedion tosses her a wink, and it's all Aelin can do to keep from outright gaping. Rowan looks stunned, his eyes darting between the two Ashryvver's. They settle on Aelin for a moment too long. Some of the tension eases from his shoulders, and he smiles. "I think I can manage that."

"Good." Aedion turns back up the stairs pats the box. "Thanks for bringing it to me, Lin. I'll call you tomorrow, don't send me to voicemail."

Just like that, her cousin, a walking, talking agent-of-chaos, disappears back to wherever he came from.

"So," Rowan starts, "If you want, I know a perfect Italian place we could swing by, my treat seeing as I plowed into you."

Aelin frowns and fiddles with the end of her necklace. "You aren't upset that I lied?"

"You didn't lie." Rowan chuckles, a deep sound that sends a shiver of delight down Aelin's spine. "You don't go here."

Aelin tilts her head as if she's deeply considering the offer. "I suppose it couldn't hurt. What's good there?"

"They have an awesome kabob." Rowan tugs his towel tighter. "It's my favorite."

It's Aelin's turn to laugh. "Isn't that just meat on a stick?"

"Let's go, and I can show you how profoundly wrong you are," he moves to take a step down, but Aelin stops him with a hand to the shoulder. "What is it?"

Aelin points to his towel, "I don't think they will serve guests without pants."

The flush that Aelin loves his back full force as he scrambles the other direction up the stairs. "Shit. Give me five minutes. I'll be right back. Aedion better have not locked out or I swear-"

Rowan's embarrassed tirade quiets as he charges up to his dorm to change. Aelin smiling as he goes. She can't believe she's going out to dinner with a guy like that.

Opening her phone, she sends a quick heart emoji to her cousin. He instantly replies back with one of his own. Aedion may have moved to college, but he still had her back at the end of the day. Even if it wasn't in the most ideal way.

Rowan comes back down the stairs moments later, and she's not disappointed by what she sees. He took the time to put on a flannel shirt and comb some gel through his hair. While the view without clothes had been pleasant, Aelin could definitely appreciate this look too.

"I'm ready if you are," Rowan extends an arm to help her down the stairs.

It's such a fussy, old-man move, and she loves it.

"Let's go."

[criminalmindzjunkie]

The Reward of Suffering (Part Six)

previous chapter

Summary: Spencer comes face to face with a ghost from the past.

A/N: Hey... how y’all doin? Long time no see, huh? Sorry about that - hopefully this extra long update will make up for my absence. This has definitely been my favorite part thus far, and I had so much fun writing it. I hope you guys enjoy reading it. You guys know the drill by now: SPOILERS for season 12. Also, shoutout to @zhuzhubii​ for posting the absolute best set of gifs right in time for this update - you’re the coolest.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Warnings: cursing, mentions of death, mentions of rape, mentions of mental illness, kidnapping, choking

Word Count: 10.3k

           With every clack of my heels on the concrete floors, the nervous feeling in my gut grows into full blown nausea. It’s been nearly two months since I last walked these halls, but somehow it feels like a lifetime has passed. Considering everything that transpired in the last forty-eight hours, it makes sense that I feel that way.

           I hadn’t been on the team when Lindsey Vaughn first came into the picture ten years ago, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t familiar. At the time, I thought nothing of the kind neighbor that I sometimes passed in the stairwell on my way to Spencer’s apartment. I mean, why would I? I had no reason to be suspicious. Our interactions never went beyond the usual pleasantries – polite smiles and the occasional greeting – and I never gave her a second thought.

           Maybe if I had, Cassie wouldn’t be dead, and Spencer’s mother wouldn’t be missing.

           I shake my head at the thought. Now isn’t the time to ruminate on what ifs. I would have plenty of time to blame myself when all of this is over. Instead of torturing myself, I focus on trying to steady my breathing as I come to a stop just before I reach the interview room of the Milburn Correctional Facility.

           I know what lies beyond that door, and I’m equal parts excited and worried. Excited, because I’d finally be able to see Spencer after two long months of daydreaming about when I’d finally hold him in my arms again. Of course, it was very possible that Spencer wouldn’t want to see me. After all, I promised to keep his mother safe, and instead of doing that, I let myself get swept up in moving in to my apartment, and now Diana was God knows where.

           I was so sure that he wouldn’t want to see me that I’d initially suggested that Emily be the one to go to the prison and get him. My idea was met with a sad smile and a pat on the shoulder.

           “I think that if it was anyone but you standing there when they open that door, it’d break his heart.”

           Her reassurances did little to assuage my nerves. I spent the entire ride here running over every possible scenario that I could imagine, scrambling to form some kind of game plan. But now that I was here, any semblance of preparedness left me the second the guard reached for the door handle.

           “You ready, ma’am?”

           Yes.

           No.

           I don’t trust my voice, so I settle on nodding my head. The door opens with a groan, rusty hinges creaking in protest, and with shaky legs and a heart that threatens to beat out of my chest, I step into the doorway.

           It’s like the world stops turning on its axis when his eyes meet mine. Those familiar pools of caramel stare back at me with such an intensity that I force myself to look away, petrified at the prospect of seeing disappointment in them. 

           I trail my eyes over his frame, drinking in every inch of him - every bruise and every scrape feeling like a dagger to my heart. My eyes linger on the bandage adorning his left arm, before trailing down to the one on his leg. Emily had warned me about happened, about Spencer injuring himself in order to secure his safety. It was smart of him - that I knew - but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t horrified. 

           His hair has gotten longer, and his curls hang limply around his face. The usually clean-shaven Spencer I once knew was a thing of the past - replaced now by a more disheveled, scruffier version.

           Clean-shaven or not, he still looks just as breathtaking as always. 

           I hesitantly raise my eyes up to his again. He’s staring at me still, mouth parted in shock. He doesn’t look angry, just confused, and that fills me with a tiny sliver of hope.

           “Hi, Spence,” I murmur, voice thick with emotion. It’s not until I speak that I realize I’m crying, and I hastily wipe at my cheeks with my shirtsleeve.

           The dazed look in Spencer’s eyes washes away when he hears my voice and he blinks hard.

           “What… H-How are you…?” he trails off, eyes moving up and down my body.

           It feels so fucking good to hear his voice again, and I find myself unable to hold back a sob.

           “M’ here to take you home,” I choke out.

           It’s like all the tension in Spencer’s body is expelled at once and his shoulders slump in relief. I open my mouth to elaborate, to explain how Emily had managed to pull this off, but I’m stunned into silence when Spencer’s body collides with mine. I hadn’t even had time to process that he was moving before his arms snake around me, tugging me forward until there’s no space in between our bodies. Spencer’s hands collect fistfuls of my shirt, clinging desperately to the fabric as he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck.

           Once I get over the initial shock, I’m hugging him back, arms locked around his torso in a vicelike grip. He doesn’t smell the same �� the usual fragrance of cinnamon and vanilla is long gone, replaced with that of some generic detergent – but the way his broad shoulders feel underneath my palms is something so familiar that I can’t help but smile against his chest.

           This is still my Spencer.

           Spencer lets out a shaky breath against my skin and I let out an involuntary shudder at the feeling.

           “Missed you so fucking much,” Spencer whispers. “I-I can’t believe you’re here. Thought I was imagining it.” Spencer takes a shaky breath in, nuzzling further into my neck. His next words are muffled from the way his lips press against my skin, but I’m still able to make out the quiet ‘I’m sorry’.

           “You’re sorry?” I hiccup, eyebrows scrunching up in disbelief. I attempt to pull away so that I can look at him, but Spencer only tightens his grip on me. Something about it makes my chest feel incredibly warm, but I push that feeling aside for now. “I’m the one that’s sorry. I should’ve done more – I should’ve visited more often. I let myself get busy, and if I’d just been more careful, then your m-mom… she wouldn’t be-”

           “Stop that,” Spencer interrupts, and this time he’s the one that pulls away. He holds me at arm’s length and those beautiful brown eyes lock with mine. “This is absolutely not your fault.”

           Spencer’s hands come up to cup either side of my face and his thumbs wipe away at the tears on my cheeks. “You’ve done so much for me – for her. I’m sorry that I took you off the list. Things were getting so bad here, and if something would have happened to you…” Spencer pauses, closing his eyes and leaning down until his forehead rests against mine. “It was never because I didn’t want to see you, I promise. And… And your letter - I can’t even begin to explain how much that helped. I’m sorry that I couldn’t write back. I didn’t know what to say. Especially not after…”

           He doesn’t elaborate, but I’m able to fill in the blanks myself. I bring my hand up and rest it on top of his.

           “S’okay, Spence. I know,” I whisper. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I understand.”

           Spencer hums and a ghost of a smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

           “Time to get you out of here, Doc.” I remove his hand from my face and give it a reassuring squeeze. “Let’s go get your mom back.”

           Spencer opens his eyes and for the first time in two months I’m on the receiving end of my favorite smile in the whole world.

           I lead him from the room, never once removing my hand from his. Now that I have him back, I don’t ever want to let go.

--

           For the second time today, the clacking of my heels against the concrete floor is the only sound that can be heard. Spencer moves silently beside me, his face pulled into a somber expression as we stalk down the long corridor. His hand brushes against mine, and I long to reach out and intertwine our fingers like I had only hours before. I suppress the urge, stealing one last, poorly concealed glance at him before I settle my gaze on the door at the end of the hall.

           In the last several hours, the entire case had been flipped upside down. We’d been wrong all along – Scratch wasn’t to blame for the shit show that had transpired over the last three months. It’d been an easy enough mistake to make. After the incident with Tara’s brother, Scratch was the obvious choice. Pair that with the fact that Spencer had been drugged and we had no reason to suspect anyone else.

           Cat Adams was the last thing on everyone’s mind when Mexico happened. It’d been over a year since Spencer outsmarted her in that restaurant, and she was very much out of sight and out of mind. She was in a maximum-security prison, for fuck’s sake. That alone should have rendered her unable to carry out a scheme this convoluted.

           But apparently that meant nothing, because Cat had somehow managed to be the mastermind behind this whole ordeal, perfectly orchestrating the entire thing from her cell in solitary confinement – using Lindsey Vaugh as her metaphorical puppet on a string. We’d sorely underestimated Cat, and our arrogance had come back to bite us all in the ass.

           A guard that stands at the end of the hall opens the door for us, and I feel an intense rush of foreboding as we step into the room. The sound of the guard closing the door behind us brings a sense of finality to the situation; there is no turning back now. Either we walk out of here knowing Diana’s whereabouts, or we miss the mark completely and loose Diana in the process.

           I cast a worried look at Spencer, whose eyes are trained on the double-sided glass. The tension has returned to his shoulders, and his fists are clenched tightly at his sides. There’s a sort of fiery determination in his eyes – a sort of menacing resolve that I’d never seen in him before.

           Spencer looks intimidating, and nothing like the Spencer that was led from the courtroom three months ago. I pull my eyes away in favor of looking through the glass.

           Reid had been able to see through Cat’s mind games the first time, but the Cat that sat on the other side of that door is a far cry from the one he encountered a year ago. If she’d looked cold and calculating before, she looks downright deranged now.

           “Are you sure you want to go in there alone?” I ask after a moment. “I could-”

           “No,” Spencer cuts me off. His tone is hard and definite, warning me not to argue. “I can’t ask you to do that. Emily shouldn’t have made you come in the first place.”

           “Emily told me to come with you because she knew that there was nothing she could do to make me stay.” I pause long enough to shoot him a weak smile. “Hope you enjoyed your three-month break from me, because I’m going to practically glued to your side from now on. You’ll be dying to get rid of me in a month’s time.”

           Spencer’s lips twitch, threatening to turn up into a smile.

           “I sincerely doubt that.”

           “We’ll see,” I breeze. “But I’m serious, Spence. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here the whole time – I’m not letting you go in there alone, and I’m not going to leave you.”

           “Promise?” Spencer asks, finally pulling his eyes away from the window in favor of looking at me. There’s a sadness in his eyes that wasn’t there before, and the weight of his gaze is so heavy that I worry I might buckle under it.

           I reach for his hand and hook my pinky finger around his, lifting our intertwined hands to eye level.

           “I promise.”

           Spencer’s pinky finger squeezes mine and he closes his eyes.

           “I don’t deserve you.”

           “You deserve the world, Spence.”

           For a moment I think he’s going to say something else, but then Spencer’s lips press into a tight line and he only nods in response. He releases my hand and I let it fall limply at my side. Spencer rolls his shoulders back, and that stony expression returns to his face. He reaches out and pulls open the door, and I follow closely behind him at he steps over the threshold.

           It’s as if I’m invisible; Cat doesn’t even spare me a glance when I enter the room. Her eyes, narrowed and sparkling with amusement, hone in on Spencer immediately.

           “Spencie,” she greets, smiling deviously up at him.

           “Where’s my mother?” Spencer asks, completely devoid of emotion.

           “I missed you.”

           “What did you and Lindsey do to her? How did you-”

           Cat raises a hand, effectively cutting him off. She points a finger at him, and the smile that she previously wore is replaced by a grimace.

           “Now, stop. You don’t get to walk in here and hiss at me like I’m the criminal. No – we’re going to do this my way.” Cat kicks the chair that sits on the opposite side of the table and Spencer reaches out to grab it. “Have a seat.”

           Spencer complies and Cat’s smile returns.

           “How was prison? Did you like it?”

           “No.”

           Cat hums.

           “It’s not fun, is it?”

           “Unlike you, I didn’t deserve to be there,” Spencer retorts.

           Cat leans forward, crossing her arms before resting them on the metal table.

           “How did you stay sane? A brain like yours needs stimulation in such a gray place.”

           “I worked in the laundry room and I played chess.”

           “That’s three, maybe four hours, tops. What about the other twenty?”

           “I read.”

           Cat shakes her head. “That’s still not enough. You have to… go someplace.” She taps the side of her head. “Up here. Or else you go crazy. Do you want to see where I go? I’ll show you.” Cat crooks a finger at Spencer, and I tense at the gesture. The idea of that psychotic bitch getting any closer to him makes my skin crawl. I clench my fists together and the feeling of my nails digging into my palms is enough to ground me.

           Spencer leans forward, mimicking Cat’s relaxed position. She reaches a hand out towards him, and before I can think better of it, I speak up.

           “Hands off,” I warn.

           Cat halts her movements and fixes me with an irritated expression, looking me up and down distastefully before turning her attention back to Spencer.

           “Close your eyes,” she instructs him. Spencer complies. “Good. Now keep them closed. Sit back and relax. When you open your eyes, I want you to look at me like I’m the first woman you’ve seen after being in prison for three months.”

           I clench my jaw at that. Something stirs in my chest – something foreign and possessive that has me bristling. I tense, watching closely as Spencer opens his eyes and smiles that beautiful smile at Cat. My stomach turns painfully at the sight.

           “Hello, Cat,” Spencer greets her, and all the contempt his tone previously held is gone – replaced with a neutrality that bordered on happiness.

           Cat lets out a pleased laugh.

           “You’re here!” she exclaims, throwing her arms out as she gestures about the room. “You’re really here.”

           “There is nowhere else I would rather be,” Spencer replies, sounding startlingly genuine.

           This is all an act, I remind myself. Spencer’s just playing a part. None of this is real.

           Cat crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at him.

           “You’re good at this. You’re so good at this that I almost believe that you don’t want to kill me.”

           “I don’t want to kill you,” Spencer says with a shake of his head.

           “No?”

           “No.”

           Cat narrows her eyes at him.

           “What if I let your mother die?” she inquires. “Then would you kill me? Or would you just…” Cat trails of as she leans forward. “… Hurt me? Would you pin me down and leave bruises that don’t go away?”

           I swallow hard against the bile that threatens to crawl its way up my throat. Spencer might not want to kill her, but I do.

           “Is that what you want?”

           Cat shrugs her shoulders.

           “I guess I just want to know if you would – if you could.”

           Spencer gives a small shake of his head.

           “No.”

           “No?” Cat taunts, cocking her head to the side.

           “It’s not the kind of man I am.”

           Cat’s face drops and her eyes narrow into slits.

           “Do me a favor and tell your little chaperone over there to step aside, because we’re going to play another game. And this time, we’re going to find out exactly what kind of man you are.”

           Spencer’s eyes flit to me and he nods towards the door. I open my mouth to argue, but the pleading look in his eyes has me clamping it shut. It’s okay, his eyes seem to tell me. I know you promised, but I’ll be fine.

Cat waves at me as I reluctantly move towards the door. When the door clicks shut behind me, Spencer takes it as his invitation to continue.

           “Let’s play,” his voice sounds through the speaker to my left.

           “Let’s!” Cat exclaims before resting her head in her hand.

           “So, is it the same game as last time?” Spencer inquires. “I answer every question you ask honestly?”

           “No,” Cat sighs out. “This time you get to ask the questions.”

           Spencer raises an eyebrow at her. “About what?”

           “Well, I know a secret about you. And you can ask me as many questions as you like to figure it out. But you only get one guess as to what it is. If you guess correctly, I take your phone, I call our friend Lindsey, and I tell her to release your dear mother unharmed. If you don’t…” Cat trails off, before mimicking bringing a gun up to her mouth and firing.

           Crazy fucking bitch.

           “Is there a clock?”

           “There’s always a clock.” Cat holds out her hand, eyes flicking down to Spencer’s watch. “Give it to me.”

           I cringe when Spencer hesitates – I know what he must be thinking. That’s Gideon’s watch. The only thing he has left of him. I’d never seen Spencer without it in the two years I’ve known him.

           Spencer reluctantly slips the watch off of his wrist and hands it over.

           Cat smirks and slides the watch onto her arm.

           “Now, you’ll have four hours.”

           “Do you want to give me a hint before we start?”

           Cat chuckles. “Do I look like a girl that gives hints?”            “Actually, you do.”

           Cat takes pause, looking Spencer up and down before speaking.

           “Okay, how about this; it’s a secret you’ll never admit to.”

--

           “I know what the secret is.”

           Cat quirks an eyebrow up at Spencer.

           “You do?”

           He nods. “Why else would you put me through all this?”

           “Ooh, phrasing it in the form of a question that way it doesn’t count as a guess. Very smart, Doctor.”

           “I’m gonna walk you through a scenario, and your face is going to tell me how close I am,” Spencer murmurs, an amused smile on his lips. He leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. “From the moment I arrested you, you watched and waited for the right time to take your revenge. When you learned I was going to Mexico, you took it. You and Lindsey framed me for murder so I’d be put in a prison and treated like a criminal, and then you kidnapped my mother so I would know how it feels to have a parent manipulated, because you want to prove that you and I are the same. Am I right?”

           Cat feigns a yawn in response.

           “Mm. Sorry, I couldn’t hold that in any longer. What were you saying?”

           “Psychopaths tend to get bored easily.”

           “You’re right. Let’s speed this up,” Cat sighs with a roll of her eyes. She pushes away from the table, standing up and walking over to Spencer’s side of the table. I fight the urge to barge in when I see her take a seat on his lap. Cat runs a hand down Spencer’s chest before she continues. “Shall we? What do you think about all the pain you’ve suffered in your life? What would I capitalize on, do you think? Is it… the death of your mentor, SSA Jason Gideon?”

           I can see the way Spencer’s jaw clenches and it makes my heart lurch painfully in my chest.

           “No, because we caught the man who killed him.”

           “What about Agent Morgan and your guilt over not visiting his little boy?” Cat whispers in his ear as her hands fiddle with the collar of his suit.

           “I was in prison.”

           “Yeah, but you had time before that. Why didn’t you go?” she presses as she grazes her nails down the length of his throat. I see red when her hand loosely circles around his neck. Spencer absolutely loathes being touched by anyone other than those closest to him, and I’ve no doubt that he’s horribly uncomfortable.

           “Truthfully, I got distracted. I was trying to figure out a way to help my mom. She didn’t have time. Morgan, Savannah, and little Bobby did. So, there’s absolutely no shame in admitting that. Morgan would understand.”

           “I agree. That’s why that’s not the secret,” Cat divulges, brushing her nose against the side of his face before pulling away and standing up. I let out the breath that I’d apparently been holding and allow myself a moment to run a shaky hand through my hair. If I was getting this frazzled from being a bystander to this conversation, I can only imagine how Spencer must be feeling.

           When I look back up at the mirror, Spencer’s looking over his shoulder at me through the glass. I know he can’t see me, but I can’t help but feel guilty for losing my cool.

           “Good job, Spence,” I murmur to myself as I pull out my phone. After a few rings, Rossie answers.

           “Go ahead, Y/N. You’re on speaker.”

           “Cat has an extremely deep background on Spencer. She knows about everything – Gideon’s death, Derek leaving the team, his mom’s condition,” I inform them, tapping my foot nervously against the concrete.

           “She’s throwing him off-balance.”

           “Yes, but Spencer also purposefully gave the wrong name of Derek’s son and she didn’t correct him,” I point out.

           “She must’ve gotten her hands on Reid’s confidential FBI file,” Emily chimes in. “It would mention pertinent team information but it wouldn’t name Morgan’s son for confidentiality reasons.”

           “We were thinking she’s been getting help from someone inside the prison. This goes deeper than that,” Rossi sighs.

           “Call us if she says anything else of any importance,” Emily signs off. I mumble a quick goodbye before pocketing my phone and turning my attention back to the window.

           “Working deductively, the secret wouldn’t be any of the topics you’ve already volunteered, because you wouldn’t want to make it easy on me,” Spencer reasons. He clasps his hands together and sits back in his seat before raising an eyebrow in challenge.

           “Genius, truly,” Cat taunts sarcastically as she twirls the watch around her finger.

           “So, what is left that I wouldn’t want to admit?” Spencer muses, eyebrows drawn together in contemplation. Cat shrugs her shoulders at him and another moment of tense silence passes.

           “Love,” Spencer utters, and Cat’s incessant twirling of the watch comes to an abrupt halt.

           Got her.

           “Is that what this is all about – love? For my mother?” Spencer whispers, and when Cat fails to respond, he shakes his head. “No, not for her. For you. You want me to admit that I’m actually in love with you.”

           Cat purses her lips together.

           “Don’t get me wrong – I love my fairy tales as much as the next girl – but I’m not delusional,” Cat says as she crosses her arms.

           “Are you sure about that?”

           “Very sure. So sure, in fact, that I had Lindsey leave a clue for you in that little scrapbook in your apartment.”

           I scrunch my face up at that. The clue in question had been a message inscribed on the back of an old photograph;xx-xy. We’d originally deduced that the message, the female and male chromosomes, was to confirm that Lindsey was working with Scratch. But now? Now I didn’t have a clue what Cat was talking about.

           “I couldn’t have you come all the way down here and make a guess until I was positive. That is…” Cat pauses for dramatic effect, a sly smile on her lips. “… until I tested positive.” Cat punctuates her words by placing both hands on her stomach, and the action makes me raise a hand up to my mouth in shock.

           No. There’s no fucking way.

           “What, you’re pregnant?” Spencer asks, confused.

           “No, we’re pregnant.”

           I feel my knees buckle upon hearing the admission and I blindly reach for the chair to my left.

           This cannot be happening.

           “No,” Spencer says, shaking his head adamantly.

           “Oh, yes,” Cat replies. “Mazel tov.”

--

           “Here you are, ma’am.”

           I reach for the file, my movements stilted and awkward.

           “Thank you,” I mumble to the guard, who gives me a peculiar look before leaving the room. I waste no time in flipping through the file, heart pounding wildly in my chest as my eyes skim over the page until –

           Positive.

           I slam the file down on the table.

           “Fuck!” I yell out in frustration. I’m thankful then for the thick, concrete walls, because neither Spencer nor Cat show any sign of having heard my little outburst. I place both palms down on the cool metal of the table, my breaths coming out in haggard puffs as I try to rationalize it all.

           “- not possible,” Spencer’s voice coming through the speaker snaps me out of my thoughts. I cut my eyes to the window to find Spencer pacing the room. “Even if you are pregnant, the baby’s not mine.” Spencer comes to a stop behind his chair and shoves his hands in his pockets.

           “Except for the part where it is.”

           “That’s completely preposterous. You’ve been in prison,” Spencer points out as he once again takes a seat across from her.

           “So have you.”

           “And we’ve never-”

           “I know. We’ve never…” Cat trails off with a suggestive waggle of her brows. “Ask me how I did it. Come on, ask me.”

           Spencer rolls his eyes, but he indulges her nonetheless.

           “How did you do it?”

           “I had Lindsey dose you in Mexico. You lost time. And I gave her very specific instruction on how to get you in the mood,” Cat admits.

           “What?” Spencer snorts cynically. “Did she pretend to be you?”

           “Why, would that have worked?”

           Spencer leans forward and shoots Cat a cruel kind of smile.

           “No.”

           For a split second Cat’s face falls, but only for a moment and then she goes right back to smiling that wretched grin.

           “Yeah, I know, I know. Believe me, I know exactly where I stand on the Spencer Reid hot or not list,” Cat sighs. “So, ask me again.”

           “How did you do it?”

           “I told her to pretend to be Y/N.”

           For a second I think that I misheard her – the blood rushing in my ears almost overpowered her admission – but the way Spencer’s entire body tenses before he looks back at the window tells me that I didn’t.

           Why me?

           Spencer gulps hard before he turns back around. I find my way to the chair nearest me and collapse into it.

           “How do you know about her?”

            Cat gives him an unimpressed look.

           “It wasn’t hard, seeing as she’s your very best friend in the whole wide world,” Cat teases as her eyes wander from Spencer to the glass behind him. She waves at me, endlessly amused, before turning her attention back to Spencer. “But that isn’t all that she is to you – is it Spencie? At least, Lindsey didn’t think so. At first, she thought the two of you were tangled up in some kind of sexy little tryst. But then I had Lindsey do a little digging, and, well, that’s when we found out about the boyfriend.”

           “Stop.”

           “Oh, it seems I’ve struck a nerve!” Cat trills gleefully. “Shall we call her in here to join us? I know she’s just on the other side of that glass. I’m sure she’d love to hear all about how pathetic little Spencer Reid pines after her like a school boy with a crush.” She pouts her bottom lip out in mock sadness. “There’s just something about unrequited love that really tugs at my heart strings.”

           Oh.

           For the second time since arriving here, my hand comes up to cover my mouth as I struggle to process Cat’s words. She can’t be right, can she? Spencer had never done anything that eluded to him seeing me as any more than a best friend. Perhaps she got it wrong. Lindsey saw me come and go and she just assumed it was something that it wasn’t. There was no way that Spencer -

           “I said stop.”

           The underlying plea in his voice is enough to make tears well in my eyes. If what Cat is saying is true, that means that Lindsey . . . 

           “All it took was Lindsey saying she was Y/N for you to crumble like a house of cards. You really made it too easy.”

           “You’re lying.”

           Cat chuckles. “Listen to you, you’re not even trying to deny it.”

           “It didn’t happen,” Spencer argues, voice so quiet that I have to strain to hear it.

           “Hey, I was thinking, if it’s a boy, we should definitely call him Spencie Jr.”

           Spencer pushes back from the table so abruptly that both Cat and I flinch, and he’s almost out the door when Cat delivers one final dig.

           “-But if it’s a girl, I think we should call her Y/N. I mean after all; she played such a huge role in in her own conception!”

           The sound of the door slamming behind him as he trudges into the room is enough to make me bolt up from my seat. Spencer comes to a stop at the center of the room, eyes wide and full of remorse as he looks over at me.

           “I-I… I’m…”

           I try my best to muster up a smile but I worry that it comes out more as a grimace.

           “Later,” I murmur, and Spencer winces before nodding his head in defeat. I walk over to the table and open up the file. “She’s not lying about being pregnant.”

           Spencer joins me at the table, eyes skimming over the document.

           “She’s three months, and the timeline matches, but that doesn’t mean-”

           Spencer yanks the file off the table and hurls it at the window, shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he runs a hand through his disheveled hair.

           I take a step back and Spencer curses under his breath.

           “I’m sorry. It’s not you,” he sighs. “I just… need a minute.”

           I press my lips together and nod.

           “Take all the time you need. M’gonna go call Emily,” I murmur.

           Spencer closes his eyes and lets his head hang low.

           “Yeah, okay,” he whispers dejectedly, and the despair in his voice is enough to stop me in my tracks.

           “Spence?” I call out. He looks up at me from underneath his lashes, more than a little bit timid and scared. “I’ll be right back, okay? I’m not leaving you.”

            I open the door and step out of the room, but it doesn’t close before I hear the quiet ‘thank you’ drift from within.  

--

           Spencer waits until the door clicks shut behind her to push away from the table and head back into the interrogation room. He couldn’t bear the thought of her overhearing any more than she already had. As far as Spencer was concerned, Cat had just singlehandedly ruined the one good thing he had going for him, and at this point, he had nothing left to lose.

           “Let’s pretend you’re telling the truth,” Spencer starts. “That means I guessed it, right? The secret, the one I don’t want to admit to? It’s my child?”

           Cat looks up at him with bored eyes and Spencer feels his unease begin to give way to rage.

           “Is that your guess?” Cat asks. “You only get one, remember?”

           Spencer takes pause, before shaking his head.

           “No. It’s too easy,” he decides.

           “Believe me, getting pregnant with your baby was not easy,” Cat mutters, and Spencer’s lips press into a tight line. The implication of it is enough to make his skin crawl. He feels violated and absolutely disgusted, but still he tries to school his impression into one of indifference. Spencer thinks about his mom, scared and confused, and that’s enough incentive to make him focus on the task at hand.

           “You misunderstand. It’s too easy emotionally,” Spencer explains in a clipped tone as he sits down. “Because I can take your child from you. The child I had absolutely no role in creating, but a child that I would care for better than you.”

           “That’s rude,” Cat seethes as she slowly lifts her head from off of the table.

           “It’s true. You can’t be a mother, Cat. I’m not trying to insult you – it’s your psychological makeup. You literally do not have the emotional skills to care for another human being. You’d lose interest in your own baby the way a six-year-old loses interest in a pet hamster. This baby is simply a means to an end, which is to keep me here and playing your game, guessing like a fool and assuming something that I never should have assumed in the first place.”

           “And what would that be?”

           “My mother’s already dead,” Spencer says, and the words taste positively foul in his mouth. “She was dead before I walked in here”

           Cat’s lips pull into a frown.

           “She’s not dead-”

           “Yes, she is,” Spencer reiterates as he rises from his chair.

           “No, because that would be cheating and I don’t cheat. You cheat!” Cat panics, voice growing louder the closer Spencer gets to the door.

           “I’m done playing,” Spencer says as he turns away, reaching for the door knob.

           “Get back here!”

           Spencer pulls the door open. “Goodbye, Cat.”

           He has one foot out the door when;

           “I’ll let you talk to her!” Cat yells out as she slams her fist down on the table.

           Spencer lifts his eyes up from their spot on the floor, and it’s with a jolt of surprise that his eyes meet Y/N’s. It feels to him like it always does when he sees her – like some great relief that floods through his entire body in an instant. He feels guilty for it, now that she knows, but that doesn’t stop him from basking in it. The feeling grows when a triumphant smile graces her lips, one that says you’ve got her, Spence. You’ve got her right where you want her.

           Spencer is positively rejuvenated by that smile.

           He reluctantly pulls his gaze away from her and focuses back on Cat. He’s come too far now to fuck it all up.

           Spencer pulls his phone from the depths of his suit pocket and hands it to Cat. He watches on as she dials the number, and his heart beats so fast that he wonders if she can hear it. The sound of the dial tone ringing fills the room, and Spencer can only hope that the call will be long enough for Penelope to trace.

           “You’re early,” a voice that’s unmistakably Lindsey’s calls out. Spencer lets out a shaky breath of relief.

           “Yeah, I know.”

           “Did he guess?”

           “No, not yet,” Cat sighs. “We need proof of life.”

           “All right, hold on,” Lindsey says, exasperated, and her words are followed by several seconds of muffled rustling and what Spencer deems as some sort of liquid being poured.

           “Spencer!”

           His heart practically bursts out of his chest as he lunges forward, yanking the phone out of Cat’s hand and bringing it up to his ear.

           “Mom - mom, are you okay?”

           “I don’t… know-”

           Spencer opens his mouth to reply when the gut-wrenching sound of an explosion rips through the tiny phone speakers, distorted and so loud that it makes Spencer’s ears ring.

           “Mom!” Spencer desperately yells into the phone, but all he gets in reply is a ‘gotta go’ from Lindsey before the line goes dead. Spencer growls out a string of swears, throwing his phone down on the table before leaning over the table.

           “What the hell was that?” he yells, and he’s vaguely aware of the sound of the door opening, but he can’t focus on anything other than his own rising panic.

           “I don’t know,” Cat replies, opening her mouth to continue but Spencer cuts her off.

           “Lindsey said you were early. Was that a signal?” he bellows.

           “Spence, come on,” Y/N tries to interject. Spencer feels her hand on his shoulder but he shrugs it off before bringing his fist down on the table.

           “Was that a prearranged signal to kill my mother?!” Spencer snarls, eyes wide and teeth barred. He feels positively feral, images of his mother in all sorts of terrible states of distress flashing through his mind like some grotesque picture show. “Tell me the truth!”

           “No! I am!” Cat shouts back.

           “Tell me the truth!”

           “I am!” Cat spits out, eyes flashing angrily. “You wanna know the truth? Your mother is an Alzheimer’s-ridden moron who’s getting dumber by the day and if she’s dead, it’s your fault!”

           Something comes over Spencer then, and in an instant, he’s shoving the table out of the way and pushing Cat against the wall. His hands find purchase on her throat, not dissimilar to how hers had on his hours before, but instead of dragging his fingers against her neck, Spencer’s clamping down on it as hard as he can, taking great pleasure in the way she gasps for air as his hands tighten. Everything around him fades away until all that he can focus on is that way that her pulse feels under his hands – the way it starts off strong, before tapering, slower and slower until he can barely even palpate it anymore.

           “I’m going to kill you,” Spencer hears himself whisper as he presses down hard on her windpipe. “M’gonna fucking kill you.”

           Cat’s eyes are fluttering closed now, and Spencer shouldn’t enjoy the way the light in her eyes starts to dim. He shouldn’t but he does – in fact, it prompts him to press harder and harder and –

           A harsh yank pulls Spencer away from Cat, and as soon as his hands begin to loosen Cat splutters in an attempt to catch her breath.

           “Spencer, she is pregnant,” Y/N yells in his ear, and just like that his tunnel vison fades away and Spencer feels the adrenaline leave his body. He only realizes that his hands are still on Cat’s throat when Y/N yanks at his arms again. “Fucking let her go, Spencer!”

           His entire body goes limp and he allows himself to be drug away from Cat and out of the room. Spencer’s heart still pounds and his blood is still roaring in his ears, but the satisfaction has given away to shame. He steals a glance at cat as he’s being pulled from the room, and despite her ruffled appearance, she’s grinning at him – smiling as if to say see? I told you that you were just like me.

           Spencer stumbles into the other room, steadying himself on the wall to keep from faceplanting onto the cold hard floor. Now that the adrenaline has expelled itself from his body, he’s left shaky and panting and ashamed.

           The feeling of Y/N’s eyes on him as he braces himself on the wall only exacerbates his mortification. What will she think of me now? Will she think me to be some kind of monster? Spencer wouldn’t blame her - he’s held that same opinion of himself for months now.

           Spencer stands there, face turned downwards as he catches his breath, and when he can take the weight of her gaze no longer, he darts out of the room and down the corridor.

           Being alone is preferable to being a disappointment, Spencer thinks as he flees the room.

--

           It doesn’t take long for her to find him sitting in the floor, knees to his chest with his face downturned. Spencer hears her before he sees her, and he prepares himself for the yelling that’s surely to come.

           She surprises him when she slides her back down the wall until she’s sitting beside him, legs sprawled out in front of her. He doesn’t look up – fearful of what he might see when he looks into those beautiful eyes of hers. There had been love there, before all of this happened. Not the kind of love that was reflected in his own, but it was love just the same and Spencer thinks that it might kill him to see that love replaced with disgust. So he doesn’t look. Instead, Spencer just sits there, slumped over and pathetic, hoping that she doesn’t pick up on the fact that his hands are shaking.

           “Richmond County police just reported a gas station explosion. One victim – male. Whatever Lindsey did, we have to assume that your mom’s still alive,” Y/N murmurs. Spencer lets out a shaky breath and his grip on his knees tightens. It’s good news, and he’s grateful, but it does nothing for the overwhelming guilt that’s eating away at him.

           “Hey,” she whispers when he doesn’t reply. “Can you look at me, Spence? Wanna see those pretty brown eyes. Please?”

           Spencer chokes down the sob that threatens to come out. He shakes his head. 

           “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened in there. That… That’s not me. At least, I don’t want it to be,” Spencer whispers. “Emily should’ve sent someone else with me. I never wanted you to see me like that.”

           Her small, incredibly soft hand comes to rest on his own and Spencer closes his eyes at the feeling. Y/N flips his hand over and intertwines their fingers and Spencer can’t help but think that’s she’s showing him way more kindness than he could ever deserve. But he’s selfish, unable to deny himself of the feeling of her hand in his, so he clings onto her hand for dear life.

           “I’m so scared that this is who I am now,” Spencer mumbles, prompting her grip on his hand to tighten.

           “No, Spence. Don’t say that,” she chastises him. “You’re the best guy I know. Everyone has a breaking point – Cat just knows how to bring you to yours, is all.”

           “You… You don’t know…” Spencer trails off, still unwilling to look her in the eye.

           “I do know, Spence. I may not have been able to visit, but I asked about you every day,” she says as she shuffles closer to him. Spencer can smell her perfume now, subtle and sweet and comforting. “I know that two inmates, Frazier and Duerson, killed your friend in front of you. I know that they wanted you to move heroin for them, and I also know that if you didn’t, you would’ve been next. Anyone in your spot would’ve done the same.”

           “You wouldn’t have.”

           “Hell yes, I would have,” Y/N persists, and Spencer can’t help but to look up at her from behind where his unruly curls fall into his face. “I would have, Spence. If someone was threatening my life, you bet your ass I would have done the same thing. It doesn’t make you a bad person – doing whatever it takes to survive does not make you a bad person.”

           She must pick up on the hesitancy that lingers in Spencer’s eyes, because she decides to continue.

           “You know who does think like that? That – that in you doing what you had to do in order to survive somehow makes you a psychopath?” Y/N pauses long enough to point her thumb towards the direction of the interview room. “She does.”

           Spencer watches the realization wash over her face, and for a split second he’s terribly confused. It isn’t until a ghost of a smile pulls at her lips that he catches on, and when he does, he has to stop himself from doing something terribly stupid like kissing her.

           “She does,” Y/N reiterates when she sees that Spencer finally caught on. “Because she knows.”

           “That’s the secret,” Spencer thinks aloud. He pushes himself to his feet and begins to pace down the corridor. “The one that I don’t want to admit about myself.”

           “Hold up, Spence. Let’s talk through this, because she will not lose to you twice. She already said that this wasn’t about the two of you being the same.”

           Spencer scratches the back of his next, nodding to himself.

           “Then she’s all about the game. She thinks that I cheated the last time because I lied about her dad, so it’s integral that she beats me by following the rules.”

           “But, Spence, she’s the one that makes the rules. She can change them to ensure that she wins.”

           “-Which means that I’m locked in-”

           “Like she is.”

           “She needs me locked in, playing by her rules, a game I can’t win, so she-” Spencer pauses then, and an actual, honest to God smile creeps its way across his face – the kind of smile that was only reserved for Y/N. “I got it.”

           Spencer doesn’t elaborate, because he doesn’t need to. He can tell with one look that she understands, because somehow, she always does. Spencer offers her a hand and hoists her to her feet. 

          Spencer almost laughs as the two of them step back into the room. Of course, she would be the one to figure it out. It seems like she’s always saving him, these days.

--

           “Guess that’s one way to get you to put your hands on me.”

           Spencer feels a twinge of guilt, but he pushes it to the back of his mind as he holds a hand out to Cat.

           “Dance with me.”

           Cat lifts an eyebrow at him.

           “Why?”

           “Because I don’t want the people watching to hear what I’m about to say.”

           Cat is still suspicious, but she takes his hand and lets him pull her to her feet anyways. Spencer puts his arms around her and the two of them begin to sway back and forth. Spencer suppresses the urge to pull away when her hand lowers and intertwines with his own. It’s rough and calloused and cold – a direct contradiction of Y/N’s – and Spencer positively loathes it.

           “You had eyes on me while I was in prison, didn’t you?”

           “Spencie, don’t ruin the moment,” Cat groans.

           “I don’t want to, but I’m on the clock. Answer my question, am I right?”            Cat places her head on Spencer’s chest, her hair smelling of some generic bar of soap, and Spencer wishes more than anything that he was smelling the familiar notes of honeysuckle and vanilla instead.

           “Yes, you’re right. I wanted to make sure things were just as uncomfortable for you as they were for me.”

           “That’s how you timed everything so perfectly. Like sending my mom and Lindsey to visit me when I thought I was at my lowest.”

           This piques Cat’s interest and she lifts her head up until her eyes meet Spencer’s.

           “Thought? You’re sure you weren’t?”

           “No, I wasn’t. Because I didn’t feel bad – I felt scared at how much I enjoyed poisoning the other prisoners. I had a hundred ways of getting myself out of that situation, and I picked the one that would cause them the most pain.”

           “Well, look at that,” Cat hums. “You might end up saving your mother’s life after all.”

           A moment of silence passes as Spencer contemplates his next move. Before he can get the words out, Cat breaks the silence.

           “They won’t get there in time. They must be on their way, right? Your team is too good to wait around, but you know me. I always have a contingency plan,” Cat murmurs, hands dipping under Reid’s suit jacket. She rubs her palms across his chest in slow circles and Spencer tries hard not to squirm. “They’re walking into a trap, and the only way out is if you give me your phone and you guess – right now.”

           Cat removes her hands from Spencer’s chest, crossing her arms and fixing him with a pointed look. Spencer reaches down and pulls the phone from his pocket, passing it to Cat who wastes no time in taking a seat at the table once more.

           Spencer’s skin tingles, half from anticipation, half from fear. They’ve come too far for him to misstep. He thinks of his mother – of how the next two minutes will determine her fate, and Spencer clenches his hands into fists at his sides.

           Here comes the moment of truth.

           “When we first sat down, you said you were going to show me what kind of man I am. And you have.”

           “Every time I dial a number, you’re getting warmer.”

           “At first, I was furious, because the secret had to be the baby inside you. How could it be anything else? But then I realized that somehow, you knew I liked hurting those men.” Cat dials another number, prompting Spencer to continue. “Now, I know it’s both things.”

           “So, which is it, Spencie? Come on, don’t fumble it now. You’re at the one-yard line.”

           “You’re not pregnant with my child. You got pregnant with Wilkins to put me in as compromised a position as possible. But it should be mine – I wish it were mine. Because you and I… we deserve each other. That is the real secret.”

           By the time Spencer finishes speaking, tears are steady falling down Cat’s cheeks. With a shaky hand she presses the call button, and Spencer watches on with bated breath as the phone rings.

           “Kill her.”

          When Cat receives no reply, she pushes out of her seat and begins to pace around the room. “Lindsey, I said kill her.”

           “You bitch,” Lindsey curses, sounding positively heartbroken in the way only a jilted loved could. “You’re pregnant?”

            “Lindsey, sweetheart, it’s complicated, okay?”

           “No, it’s not,” Lindsey whispers, and then the sound of the dial tone is all that’s left.

           Not a second later, Y/N bursts through the door; the figurative light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.

           “We’re clear.”

           Spencer snatches his phone from Cat’s hand before turning to face Y/N.

           “Is my mom okay?”

           “Yeah. She’s fine.”

           “We do deserve each other, by the way,” Cat calls out, prompting Spencer to pivot and face her. She slides back into the seat and shrugs her shoulders. “You guessed right.”

           Spencer falters for a moment, but then a voice in his head is reminding him that he deserves the world. And that voice sounds a lot like Y/N.

           “You lied, by the way. You were going to kill my mother regardless.”

          “Yeah, I think you really liked hurting those men. Once you cross that line, you can’t ever go back. And you’ll never get her to love you, either. You and I are too fucked up to be loved.”

           Spencer takes two steps forward before he bends down, reaching out and clutching Cat’s forearm in a tight grip. Without breaking eye contact, he slides his watch off her wrist and back on to his own.

           “Watch me,” Spencer whispers, and without so much as a parting glance at the broken women sitting at the table, Spencer walks towards the light.

--

           The elevator ride up to the bullpen is a quiet one, not unlike the jet ride before it. I had about a million questions that I was dying to ask, but I thought it best to let Spencer stew in silence. The poor guy had been through enough in the last twenty-four hours – he didn’t need me hounding him on top of all of that. Besides, I wasn’t entirely sure where to start in the first place.

           So, Spence – how was prison?

           I heard you got the shit kicked out of you. How interesting, so did I! Wanna trade war stories?

           I hate to put you on the spot like this, but was that little tidbit about you being hopelessly in love with me true? Just curious.

           As wonderful as all of those conversation starters were, I didn’t really think that now was the time to breech any of the aforementioned subjects. So, instead, Spencer and I communicated in stolen glances and shy smiles, and that more than sufficed for the time being. We had all the time in the world to talk later - there was no need to rush.

           I can practically feel Spencer shaking with anticipation when the elevator ride comes to a close, and the two of us share one last, longing glance before the doors open and Spencer steps out and into the arms of his mother.

           There’s not a dry eye in the house when Spencer and his mother reunite, and it takes Emily ushering us all away to keep us all from devolving into sniveling messes right in front of the elevator. We all scatter about the bullpen, and after a quick trip to the bathroom I meander to Emily’s office.

           “Derek Morgan – you are a sight for sore eyes,” I whistle as I walk into the room, not stopping until I’m pressed up against two-hundred pounds of rock-hard abs.

           “Ah, little bit. I sure have missed you,” Derek laughs as he presses a kiss to the top of my head.

           “To what do we owe the pleasure? I’d be hard pressed to believe that you just decided to drop in at three o’clock in the morning.”

           Derek lets out a sigh and the smile drops from his face.

           “I wish I was just here to say hello, but we may have bigger problems. I got a text from Penelope saying that Reid was out of prison and that he wanted to see me. And that he was staying in an FBI safehouse where he was putting his mother up for the night.”

           I cast a glance at Emily, who shakes her head.

           “I didn’t approve of that,” she explains, and just like that, a weary feeling settles over everyone in the room.

           “I think we all know what this sounds like,” Derek says.

           “A trap.”

--

           “I know we’re all tired, but we may have a new lead on Scratch.”

           “Somebody did a bang-up job of cloning my cellphone to send Morgan a text luring him to a nonexistent safehouse. And whoever that somebody is has mad skills,” Penelope explains.

           “The kind of skills Scratch has,” Stephen mutters, earning a round of murmured agreeances.

           “Were you able to trace where the hack came from?” Luke inquires, earning an affronted glare from Penelope. She shakes her head at him before turning to Derek, who’s watching on with a shit-eating grin on his face.

           “Do you see what I have to put up with?”

           Derek chuckles and gives Luke a pointed look.

           “Alvez, you’ll always get a location with this one.” Derek reaches forward and rubs Penelope’s shoulder, and it’s impossible to miss the way Luke’s eyes zero in on it.

           “Down boy,” I whisper at him. “Green isn’t your color.”

           “Shut up.”

           I roll my eyes good-naturedly before turning my attention back to Emily.

           “Obviously, Morgan can’t come with us. He’s a civilian now.”

           “We’ll miss you out there,” JJ chimes in.

           “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it out there in the field with you guys. I think about it every day. But between my old friends and my new friends, you guys are gonna go out there, you’re gonna handle your business, you’re gonna make people feel safe, and then you’re gonna go home. And that’s all that matters.”

           “Civilian life has turned you into a sap,” I tease.

           “Is it just me, or has this one gotten mouthier since I left?”

           Penelope pats him on the arm.

           “Someone had to fill the silence.”

           After everyone has the opportunity to tell Derek their goodbyes, it’s a mad dash to get everything we need to roll out. I pull my hair into a ponytail and shuck off my blazer, only to replace it with my Kevlar. I’m in the middle of securing the last strap as I hurry down the hall when I come in harsh contact with the front of someone’s chest.

           But it’s not just someone – it’s Spencer.

           “I thought you left already?”

           Spencer lets out a strained chuckle.

           “Uh, yeah. I was on the way out when Penelope texted and said Derek was here. Mom’s sitting with Anderson while I go talk to him.”

           I nod in understanding.

           “Good ole Anderson,” I manage to say, trying hard not to cringe at my awkward choice of words.

           “Yeah,” Spencer mutters, shuffling his feet as he looks anywhere other than my face. “There’s a case, I’m assuming?” he says, gesturing to my vest.

           “We think we have a lead on Scratch, actually.”

           Now, that gets Spencer’s attention. His eyes finally settle on me, and his brows furrow.

           “Why didn’t anyone tell me? I need to go with you-” Spencer makes a move to brush past me, put I stop him with a hand on his chest.

           “Back it up, Spence. There’s absolutely no way Prentiss will sign off on that, and even if she did, I’m still saying no.”

           “And I’m supposed to listen to you?” Spencer tries to keep his face neutral, but his lips twitch as he fights back a smile.

           “Mm. What I say goes, and I say that you need to go home and not even think about work for at least a month. You certainly could use the break.”

           “A whole month, huh?”

           I nod, looking up at him with a faux serious expression.

           “I better not see you around here for at least that long, or there will be repercussions.”

           Spencer finally does smile at that, and I can practically see the way he’s mulling over his next move in his head.

           “Does… Does that prohibition extend only to the work place?”

           I tilt my head to the side.

           “I’m lost.”

           Spencer scrunches his nose up and his eyes dart across the hall before eventually settling back on me.

           “It’s just that, well, I don’t really know where this leaves us. Will I still see you outside of work, or is that all messed up now?”

           “Why would that be messed up?”

           Spencer closes his eyes and he lets out a haggard breath.

           “Are you really gonna make me say it?”

           Even though he can’t see me, I smile up at him anyways.

           “On any other day I absolutely would, but things are a little… hectic right now. How about we put a pin in this conversation until things slow down a bit?”

           Spencer slowly opens his eyes and they roam over my face, searching.

           “You’re not uncomfortable? Considering everything that, uh, she said about me? Especially the part that pertained to you?” Spencer asks, meek and unsure.

           I shake my head.

           “I think you’ll find that I am very much the opposite of uncomfortable,” I reply. We stand there for a moment longer, just basking in the fact that after three long, miserable months, we’re finally together again.

           Spencer opens his mouth to say something, only to be cut off by Emily calling my name from further down the hall.

           “Duty calls,” I chuckle, pulling away from Spencer. “Tell you mom I said hi, and I’ll be by to visit once you have time to get settled in,” I call over my shoulder.

           I make it a good ten feet down the hall before Spencer’s tugging at my hand and pulling me flush against his chest. He hesitates for a moment, and a flash of uncertainty clouds his eyes, but then he’s pushing it down and pressing his lips to mine.

           Spencer’s lips are slightly chapped, but so, so warm as they move against mine. My response is instantaneous – I don’t hesitate for a second before I’m kissing back. The kiss is slow and tentative, as gentle and tender as it is intoxicating. It’s everything that a kiss should be and it ignites a fire in me that has me grasping at Spencer’s shirt, desperate for more. The hand that isn’t cupping the side of my face presses firmly against the small of my back, urging me forward until absolutely no space is left between us.

           Every drag of his lips against mine acts as gasoline to a flame, and I can’t help but think that Ray Bradbury said it best. It is a pleasure to burn.

           I’m the first to pull away, but it isn’t because I want to. What I want is to stay just like this – entangled in Spencer Reid – until not an inch of our bodies lay unexplored by the other. But when Emily calls out my name yet again, I force myself to stop.

           “I really need to go,” I murmur regretfully, and Spencer nods.

           “Yeah, I know.”

           But that doesn’t stop him from going in for one last, delicious kiss. This time when we break away, it’s his doing. I don’t have the self restraint to pull away twice.

           “Pinky promise you’ll come back to me in one piece?” Spencer says as he lifts his pinky finger up in offering. I link mine with his, and I smile a dopey grin at him.

           “Of course, I will,” I reply. “After all, you and I are due for one hell of a conversation.”

           I shoot him a wink before I’m running down the hall and slipping into the elevator just before the doors close. My teammates all shoot me curious looks, but I pretend like I don’t see and I lean against the wall, trying and failing to slow the rapid beating of my heart.

           It’s Stephen who approaches me when we all file out of the elevator and into the parking garage.

           “Spencer Reid wouldn’t have anything to do with that love-sick look on your face, would he?”

           I attempt to school my expression, but one pointed look from Stephen has me devolving into a fit of giggles like I’m a goddamn school girl.

           “Possibly.”

           “Possibly my ass. When we get done with this case, I expect a full explanation,” Stephen chuckles as he climbs in the back of the SUV.

           “You gossip like a teenager, Walker,” I tease as I climb in after him.

           “What can I say? You kids keep me young.”

           I let out a loud laugh at that.

           “Best shrink a girl could ask for.”

-

-

-

If suffering brings wisdom, I would wish to be less wise.

           - Unknown

taglist: @90spumkin, @wave0fg00dvibes, @bartlebyreid, @goldenxreid , @crubbycrab, @djreid , @waywardswain, @anotherr-fine-mess , @shadyladyperfection , @memoriesfornobody , @fakeauthor , @easygoingtheatre , @haylaansmi , @criminal-minds-reider , @leavesofgrass-stark​ , @anitazut​, @reidspurplescarf​ , @xoprincessmel, @pinkdiamond1016​, @eldahae​, @itsametaphorbriansblog​, @ziggystardustxo​

[softtrobed]

hm would you write a fic about annie coming out to jeff? i love their friendship and brother/sister relationship :)

thank you so much for this request! i honestly got a bit emotional writing this. annie coming out to jeff is something that can honestly be so personal...

there's some focus on annie coming out to other members of the study group, but it does mainly focus on her and jeff. i hope that's okay :)

Annie had decided to come out to her friends in the same way she tended to do most things: efficiently and beginning by making a list.

Well, she supposed the most efficient way would be to come out to all of them at the same time, but this way would be more effective in the long run. She knew they’d all have very different reactions, different questions to ask, different levels of surprise, so if they all found out at once, most likely no one’s questions would get answered (not just the ones she would politely ignore), the group would start talking over each other, someone would yell at Pierce and it would almost be forgotten what the point of the conversation even was. This way, although it would take longer, everyone would hopefully be satisfied.

She told Troy and Abed first. That was the easiest, as because the two were a couple, she had no doubt they’d be accepting. Additionally, in the time they’d lived together, she had a feeling they’d already picked up on some of her not-so-straight behaviours: the girl-crushes she formed on the pretty women in the movies they watched together and her disinterest or non-romantic affection towards the men she knew she was ‘supposed’ to swoon over; the way she giggled and twirled her hair while on the phone with a certain girl from Greendale she’d recently reconnected with; the one time she didn’t delete her search history from the apartment computer and Abed may or may not have seen her recent searches, which included among others, ‘am I gay test,’ ‘comphet meaning’ and ‘can you be straight but think girls are really pretty and rarely have long lasting feelings for men?’

She’d come out to them over breakfast one day, and they basically had the best response she could have wished for. They were totally cool with it, but didn’t make it a big deal. They joked about how she was no longer the token straight roommate, she hugged both of them, and the day went on as normal.

Annie had crossed their names off her list with a big smile on her face.

Next had been Britta. Annie had also guessed that she’d be accepting, as what had happened with Paige last year had been a bit misguided but well-intentioned. At least Annie didn’t have to worry about Britta only wanting to be her friend because she was a lesbian, because they were already friends, and Annie suspected Britta had learned her lesson.

As expected, Britta reacted well. Perhaps too well, loudly proclaiming her supporting for the LGBTQ community before asking a string of questions about what it was like dating girls and if kissing them was different if you were sobre and/or not doing it to prove you weren’t homophobic. Annie explained she didn’t know - she actually hadn’t kissed a girl yet - but did wonder if Britta’s questions weren’t just due to her being an ally. She could be wrong, but she had read something about queer people having a way of spotting each other. Still, it wasn’t her place to assume anything, and she put the thought out of her mind as she crossed off Britta’s name.

Next was Jeff. This was a bit trickier. Once again, she didn’t think Jeff would be at all homophobic (unless he turned out to be one of those men who only viewed relationships between women as hot, but she’d cross that bridge if she came to it), but coming out to him made her nervous for another reason. Ever since they’d kissed at the Transfer Dance, his feelings for her had seemed unclear. At first, he’d seemed determined to forget it ever happened - which she’d found unfair at the time, but now appreciated - but lately, it was possible he had actually become interested in her. It felt… really weird, when she thought about it for too long. Not only was she definitely not interested in him, but, partially due to their age gap, their relationship felt too close to a father-daughter or older brother-younger sister relationship to be romantic. Sometimes she wondered why she’d ever liked him like that at all.

Although, since she’d extensively researched what comphet was and realised that was undoubtedly what she’d been experiencing, she could understand a bit better she’d never really liked him to begin with, she’d just latched onto a seemingly unattainable man to convince herself she could be attracted to guys, yet again.

As everyone packed up their stuff to leave the study room, Annie remained seated. “Um, Jeff,” she said. “We’ve both got a free period now, right?”

“Right,” Jeff replied, not looking up from his phone.

“Would you mind if I talked to you about something?”

He looked at her curiously. “Yeah, sure.”

Troy, Abed and Britta had clearly all realised what was going on. Abed gave her a small, supportive smile, Troy gave a quick thumbs up, and Britta winked in a way Annie guessed was meant to be subtle, but no doubt everyone in the room saw.

“Come on, guys,” she said, ushering the others out of the room. “This sounds important, and private, and we’ve all got classes to get to.”

Shirley stopped, muttering that she’d forgotten a textbook, but Britta practically pushed her out of the door as Abed said in a deep voice, seeming to have taken the opportunity to act like a security guard, “Keep it moving.”

Annie smiled as she watched them leave, her friends dramatics a pleasant distraction from what she was about to do. She turned back to Jeff to see he’d put his phone down. Clearly, he knew this was serious. “So,” he said. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

Annie opened her mouth, let out a squeak, then closed it. This was going to be difficult. Maybe she should have just come out to everyone at the same time, the consequences be damned. That way, she would have got it all over with at once.

“Annie, is everything okay?” Jeff sounded so genuine in his concern, a relatively rare sight. “You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you?”

“No, everything’s fine,” she assured him, finding her voice, but he didn’t look convinced. She took a deep breath. “I was thinking recently about that time we kissed.” He looked confused for a second. Didn’t he remember that night? Not that she cared, of course. “You know? During the dance at the end of our first year? I had just decided not to move to Delaware with Vaughn-”

“Right, right,” he cut her off. “I remember. Sorry, go ahead.”

“Thank you,” she said curtly. “So, I’ve been thinking about our kiss, and-”

Once more, he interrupted her. This was just getting annoying. “Annie, look, I know I’ve been giving… pretty mixed signals about my feelings for you, or if I even have any, but lately I’ve taken a good look at myself, and realised that it would never really feel right to be with you. For many reasons, none of which are your fault. It’s just that you’re much younger than me, and you often feel like a little sister to me - as well as a friend, of course - so I’m sorry, but-”

“Jeff.” Her firm tone silenced him.

There, she thought. How does it feel to be interrupted?

“I don’t want to be with you either!”

“Really?” he checked. “Because it wouldn’t be your fault if you did, I’m the one who needs to keep whatever feelings I have for you in check. Plus, I mean, I wouldn’t blame you…”

She rolled her eyes, but a smile began creeping onto her face. “I swear. I was going to say that I’ve been thinking about that kiss because of how, back then, I thought I really liked you. In a romantic way, I mean. But recently, I’ve realised that I just made myself think I liked you, even loved you. I wanted to convince myself I could be attracted to men, so just like with Troy in high school, I picked an unattainable - or so I thought - man. In his case: someone cool and popular who I thought would never notice ‘little Annie Aderal.�� With you, a cool, older guy who just saw me as a child.”

“Annie.” Jeff’s tone was serious but not annoyed. “Are you saying what I think you are?”

She nodded, her lips a thin line. “I’m a lesbian, Jeff. I really hope this doesn’t change things between us, although, honestly, knowing you don’t want to be with me is a big relief, because I was worried I’d break your heart or make things weird, but…” She paused. She was getting ahead of herself. “Well, have I made things weird?”

“Of course you haven’t! Thank you for telling me, that was really brave, especially if you thought I was still interested in you.”

“Thanks,” she said. She quickly added, “It’s not that I thought you’d react really badly. I don’t see you as someone who thinks he’s somehow entitled to any women he has feelings for, but still… I didn’t want to hurt you.”

He stood up, walking around to her side of the table, presumably to remove the physical and metaphorical distance between them, and gesturing for her to stand up as well, which she did. “You haven’t hurt me at all, Annie, I promise. I care about you, so much, even - no, especially - as a friend, and I just want you to be happy. Even if I was madly in love with you - which, thankfully, I’m not - I could never be upset at you, or anyone, for this.”

Annie could feel tears forming in her eyes. “Aww, Jeff!” She practically threw herself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug which he happily returned, laughing.

“Okay, we don’t have to make this all dramatic,” he said, but Annie was sure he sounded a bit choked up.

They came apart, smiling at each other for a few seconds before Jeff hesitantly reached out and gave her a pat on the head. “For old time’s sake,” he explained.

Annie had never felt happier while being given a head pat, which didn’t say much, she knew, but it was accurate, as she’d probably felt happier in general at some point in her life. Still, this was definitely in her top ten.

That night, she crossed off Jeff’s name, remembering the days she would doodle hearts as she wrote down his name, or paired her first and his last. This time, she instead drew a little smiley face. That was far more accurate, she thought. The thought of Jeff no longer made her heart flutter in her chest, but he made her smile, and she was more than happy with that.

[emilyoftheshadows]

Deja Vu

Here is part 3 everyone! Life has been hectic lately and I haven't found the time to write until recently. Let me know how you feel about this chapter though, I really appreciate all your comments!

Part 1 // Part 2

wordcount // 2185

*****

Aelin felt like she had stepped into an alternate reality. She couldn’t think beyond this moment, and the overwhelming emotions that came with it.

Rowan looked the same since she had seen him last. His features were sharp in contrast to the lush texture of his silver hair, slicked back for the event she assumed. His attire was work casual, a blue button down paired with black pants and nice dress shoes. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up his forearms, causing Aelin’s heart to flutter for just a second. He was angelic, standing there with so much hope in his eyes, all directed towards her.

And then he smiled. Gods. That smile could melt even the coldest of hearts and it was doing just that. Aelin thought she had finally steeled herself against this girlish feeling that was rushing through her body right now, but of course one look from the man she hadn’t seen in years was her undoing. Without her consent her body stepped to his direction, pulled by some unknown force to her. But one thing was certain. Despite their rough past and complicated emotional attachments, Aelin still considered those emerald eyes and pine scent her home. And ever since that day she had ended their relationship, she had just been living in limbo.

As Rowan started walking to her, his stance relaxed and tense all at the same time, Aelin’s attention was diverted by Arobynn as he slid up behind her. She swiveled around to face her boss, her eyes closed off once more. Aelin fought all her instincts as she looked up at those grey eyes, so close to unwinding herself from the cage he captured her in with his arm around her waist and his body towering over her. Aelin hoped that he hadn’t seen the moment with Rowan, fearful that the game she was playing with him was exposed. Without a glance back to the man who held her heart, Arobynn escorted her to the elevators to their suite rambling about his intentions with Dorian, the abundant amount of luggage they brought being dragged by a poor bellhop.

With her emotions under control again, Aelin made another vow to herself. One that she had to keep, or else her new life and plans for herself could be ruined by the boss who held all the power in his hands. She had to avoid Rowan during this convention. Despite her heart's true desire to run back down to the first floor and finally close that immeasurable distance between them, she couldn’t let herself fall down that rabbit hole.

-----

Rowan was so close to her, walking to his fireheart’s spot with a determination he had never experienced before. Until her attention was dragged away by the infamous Arobynn Hamel, looking as slimy as ever. The possessive hand around her waist was a clear message to Rowan, he was sure of it. The way he guided her away from him was another pointed statement. Even though the man never glanced his way, every move was calculated and manipulative, exactly the way Aelin had described him years ago. Aelin was his and nothing, not even a lost love, was going to change that.

Lyria found him as Aelin walked to the elevators, wrapped around her boss's arms never looking back at him. With a confused glance to the direction Rowan was stuck in, Lyria was finally able to break his trance.

“Rowan, how did you manage to lose Dorian? You only had him for two seconds?” Anger and frustration was evident in her tone. As Maeve’s assistant, she got the brunt of the blame for most incidents, and this one was no different. The whole team was on edge, and would be until Dorian’s presentation where he finally announced his book release.

“I’m sorry sweetie, I was just thinking about this weekend's plans and before I was able to react he just slipped away.” That was the truth, if only slightly veiled. Lyria didn’t know he saw Aelin or thought about her as often as he did while in their relationship. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders comfortingly, her anxiety rolling off of her in waves as her thoughts spiraled. Rowan needed to come up with a game plan and quickly.

“Let’s check in with the crew and we can go from there, how about that? Maeve doesn’t have to know about this if we find him soon.” With that said, Rowan opened his phone to see where the rest of the crew was in their search.

Fenrys> I can’t find the ass anywhere. I cleared the first floor and I’m about to go outside to the pool.

Lorcan> He’s not in his room, I just checked. On the way to the next floor up.

Vaughn> Connall and I just checked our room and The Cadre’s floor, found nothing. How the fuck did this happen?

Rowan> Lyria and I are in the lobby and didn’t see him. We will check outside on the perimeter and see if we find him. Text soon. Don’t tell Maeve, and avoid her at all costs.

With the game plan set, Rowan guided Lyria out to the sliding doors and filled her in on the Cadre’s spots. With a hmph of dissatisfaction, Lyria extracted herself from Rowan’s arms, and split off into the opposite direction outside. Great, she was pissed. Agitated, Rowan stomped around the front of the hotel making intense eye contact with any dark haired young man he saw. Out of all the people Rowan intimidated as he walked around the hotel, none were the culprit he was looking for. Rowan was out of ideas, and in no way did he want to go up to Maeve and tell her that he fucked up.

His chest was heavy with anxiety. It's not like Rowan hadn’t messed up before in his job, but losing their most precious asset this weekend was definitely his worst mistake yet. Plus, the repercussions Lyria would face because of him didn’t sit right in his stomach, guilt chewing at his insides. As he made his way back to the lobby entrance, his phone buzzed in the pocket of his pants.

Lorcan> Found the bastard at a party on the floor above us. Meet here, need help moving him. Room 690.

A wave of relief replaced the previous feelings of anxiety. Thank the gods for Lorcan’s man hunting skills and whoever he intimated to find the room the party was being held at. Rowan was big compared to the average sized man, and Lorcan was huge compared to him. Pair that with the oaf’s sour demeanor, and Rowan would cower in front of him if he wasn’t one of his closest friends.

With a quick text to Lyria, Rowan walked towards the elevators, punching the button for the 6 floor once inside. As he entered the floor, Rowan didn’t even need to use the signs for directions, going by the loud bass to find the room’s location. The door was wide open with young business interns filing in and out with red solo cups. Rowan walked through the door as he was bumped by a pair of drunk girls, giggling incessantly. Scanning the room he found the rest of the crew surrounding Dorian as he slumped on the floor in the corner of the room. Despite Lorcan being the first one to find their charge, he was distracted by a petite brunette on the opposite side of the room. Typical.

Fenrys saw him first, waving him over to their spot above Dorian. Connall and Vaughn noticed him then, all 3 of them staring with pointed looks. Great, everyone was pissed at him including himself. So, Rowan decided to introduce himself with a sincere apology because the next 24 hours were going to be very difficult for them all.

“Hey, I really need to apologize. I messed up and I admit that it was my fault that he got away. I need help though, he is too slippery for only one person to watch.” With a glance down to the new author, the men hummed in agreement. Although the crew was still displeased with him, the looks grew more relaxed and the tension lessened between the men. Lorcan, done with his flirting, joined the clump in the corner.

“Are we done with the discussions now? Because we need to move him now, before Maeve finds out.” The men nodded among one another, shifting to grab a limb and haul Dorian off the floor. Finding a sense of balance between the 5 of them, they waddled out into the hallway and to the elevators. As the elevator opened they were greeted by Lyria, wide-eyed at the scene in front of her. Holding the doors open, she shuffled to the side to allow the crew inside. Crushed in the elevator, they moved to the 5th floor and quietly shuffled past Maeve’s door. It was extremely convenient and inconvenient that they were all on the same floor. Despite a few grunts and swears at the weight of their unconscious man, The Cadre were able to get Dorian into his room safe and sound.

Lorcan had been able to gather from his female companion the details of how Dorian got to the party and what he drank. In the span of 30 minutes, Dorian had met a pair of interns who led him to the party and took 6 shots of tequila, shot gunned two beers, and drank a mysterious blue concoction. Dorian had a smaller stature compared to Rowan, and even Rowan would be seriously impacted by that combination of alcoholic drinks. They threw the man on the bed and shut the door, deciding to stay in his room for the rest of the day to ensure that he didn’t leave and get lost.

“Who is going to stay the night to make sure he doesn’t leave? I would suggest Rowan since this is his fault, but I don’t know if I trust the guy now.” Fenrys addressed the group while making eye contact with him, the only way to see the glint of mischief in his eyes that let him know not to take it seriously.

“Don’t be cruel. Vaughn and I will stay the night and make sure Dorian doesn’t get away. First thing in the morning though, all of better be here to help us dress him and sober him up.” Connall glanced at Vaughn for his approval, and with that the matter was settled. The couple had a calming presence about them, and no better two people were fit for the job in Rowan’s opinion.

The Cadre and Lyria opted for a quiet night in, already exhausted from the evening's events. The group ordered room service for dinner, dining on the graciousness of Dorian Havilliard and his new tab. Other than a stumbled trip to the bathroom to vomit and back, he hadn’t stirred much. The group had just sat down at the table to start a not-so-friendly game of cards when Rowan’s phone buzzed with a notification.

Glancing at his phone quickly, Rowan saw that the notification was from his instagram. Odd, considering the last time he posted was months ago. Lyria had decided that her new dream was to go to a sunflower maze to pick the gigantic flowers found there. They took a weekend and traveled the hour and a half to a popular sunflower farm in the area, blaring Billy Joel in the car with the windows rolled down. The memory was a fond one for Rowan, being one of the first times he was content with life since Aelin had broken his heart. They had taken goofy pictures of one another while at the field, and he had posted one of the pictures at Lyria’s behest.

fleetfoot_adventures liked your post

The username gave him no clarification either. Rowan had no idea who the account was linked to, and had never even seen their presence on his previous posts. Clicking on Instagram, he opened the link to the anonymous account. The pictures were innocent enough, filled with flattering photos of a mammoth sized white dog. As he scrolled through the feed, Rowan noticed something familiar. In one of the pictures, the owner of the dog had her hand out for Fleetfoot to grab a squishy toy from. Glinting in the sunlight of the image was a beautiful gold bracelet, accented with emerald jewels. The exact same bracelet he had given Aelin on her 21st birthday all those years ago. The fact that she still wore it astonished him, as well as the fact that this account was of her dog and she was stalking his page.

Somewhere in this hotel, Aelin was thinking about him and stalking his page. Rowan didn’t know how to feel, but hopeful was definitely not the right answer. But as his companions continued to set up the game around him, all Rowan could do was stare at the same image as that spark of unwanted hope continued to light within him.

taglist:

@rowaelinismyotp

@morganofthewildfire

@throneofmak

@whimsicallyreading

@live-the-fangirl-life

@swankii-art-teacher

@courtofjurdan

[rowanwhitethornisbae]

Faking It Chapter 1

Rowaelin Fake Dating High School Au

A/N: This is going to be told through Aelin and Rowan’s POV’s but will also feature other characters. 

masterlist

Aelin Galathynius had never been this pissed off in her entire life. 

“I need to focus on myself.” 

“You can be a lot to handle sometimes.” 

If Aelin hadn't been so shellshocked she most definitely would've slapped that grimace off his ruggedly handsome face. Chaol Westfall and her had been dating for as long as Aelin could remember. Grade six graduation, he was there. Grade eight dance marathon, him again. First day of high school, Chaol. Junior prom night, guess fucking who. 

Now, she was barely a week into senior year and everything was already going to shit. It’s not that she was completely torn up about the breakup - she wasn't - it was more about her pride. Aelin’s bitchy side could not believe that she hadn't been the one to dump him first. They’d barely spoken to each other all summer long. Aelin had been lifeguarding at a pool on the south side of town and Chaol had been a camp counsellor on the north. Still, their friend groups crossed over in every way possible. Aelin was the head cheerleader, leader of about every committee you could think of, and as Aedion liked to call her, “Queen of Terrasen High”. Chaol was, you guessed it, the football team captain and starting quarter back. They were the textbook couple in every way possible. Still, despite the cheerleaders and football players hanging out nearly every night, Chaol and Aelin had barely talked. It had been that way since their huge fight on the last day of junior year. They’d claimed to forgive each other, but never really had. They’d both said some really fucked up shit. Still, Aelin couldn't bring herself to be completely regretful of what she’d said to him. 

“This is a good thing A.” Her best friend Lysandra was saying beside her. “You’re way hotter than him anyway.” 

Snapping back to attention, Aelin smiled. “I am aren't I.” She laughed. 

“Hell yes.” Lysandra assured her. “He was never in your league.” 

Aelin laughed and threw her arm over her best friends shoulders. School was out for the day and they were heading out to meet Aedion for a drive home. Ignoring the faint anger in her gut, Aelin had to admit she felt more free. She hadn't been single since the sixth grade - save the small break her and Chaol had taken in 10th year. Aelin didn't like to ponder too much on that time in her life. 

A blast of warm air hit her as they pushed open the heavy doors to the school. Aedion’s face broke into a wide grin as he spotted them. As soon as her and Lysandra reached him he pulled her into a bear hug. “Welcome to the world of miserable and lonely single people. You’re gonna love it.” He messed with her hair and she groaned for him to put her down. 

“How the hell do you know already?” She asked.

“Oh my sweet naive cousin. Everyone knows.” He smiled sympathetically. 

“Everyone?” Aelin said, a hint of desperation in her tone.

“Everyone.” Aedion echoed. “It’s the biggest news to hit the school since, well, you and Chaol took break.”

Aelin swore under her breath. “Can’t people focus on their own lives for once.” 

Lysandra laughed softly. “We need to find you a rebound.” She said, bouncing on her toes. “I finally get the chance to be my best friends wingman.” 

“I don't want a rebound.” Aelin said frowning. 

“Would you rather Chaol find one first. He broke up with you, you’re already losing.” 

Damn Lysandra. She knew that Aelin was probably the most competitive person alive and could literally never shy away from a fight. 

“Fine. Who?” She swung open the door to Aedion’s car and climbed in the back.

Lysandra clapped her hands together and joined her in the back. “How about Fenrys Moonbeam?” 

Aelin shook her head back and forth. “No way.”

“Why?” Aedion asked. “He’s unfairly attractive.” 

“You date him then.” Aelin shot back. 

“Maybe I will.” He smiled wickedly at her in the rearview mirror and pulled out of the parking lot. 

“How about Sam Cortland.” Lys suggested. 

For a moment Aelin considered it. Despite being a year younger than her, Sam was extremely cute. His messy brown hair and constant smile didn't hurt matters. 

“Too nice.” Aelin insisted. “I’ll feel too bad about using him.” 

Lysandra had just begun naming someone else when their car slammed into something else. Aelin’s body lurched forward uncontrollably, head slamming into the seat in front of her. 

“Fuck!” Aedion swore. “Fucking hell!”

Aelin didn't even have time to revel in the fact that Aedion had actually cursed. Instead, she surveyed her body to make sure she was alright. Lysandra appeared to be doing the same and they both exchanged weak smiles of comfort. All three of them slowly got out of the car to see who exactly they had run into. 

Aelin was stilling rubbing at her temples when a voice sent a chill down her spine. 

“Are you fucking kidding me Ashryver?” He said. 

Heart racing, Aelin lifted her head slowly and met the anger filled green eyes of Rowan Whitethorn. He looked absolutely flawless in his leather jacket and white tee. His too tight jeans were ripped around the knees and cuffed just above his black combat boots. Rowan’s silver hair was messy and unkept and his tattoo was just as beautiful as ever. The vibrant green of his eyes never failed to take her off guard. Eyes that were now staring directly at her. 

He blinked twice, the only reaction he would show, and went back to yelling at her cousin. 

“I’m sorry man.” Aedion was saying in the background. “I didn't see you.” 

“It’s not his fault.” Lysandra jumped in. “We were all distracted.” 

“Let me guess.” He snarled back, tone as pissed off as ever. “Discussing the recent breakup.” Rowan was looking at Aelin now, waiting for a response. 

“Something like that.” She mumbled, not looking directly at him. 

“Didn't hear that princess.” He said loudly.

“Fuck off Rowan.” Aedion yelled, subtly stepping between them. “It was accident, send me the bill for your bumper. We’re going now.” 

“Whatever.” Rowan didn’t look at her once. He only got back in his dented black car, flipped Aedion off, and hit the gas. 

“Come on A.” Lysandra said softly, wrapping an arm around Aelin’s trembling form. She pulled her gently back toward their car. Aelin could feel Aedion’s gaze on her, yet for some reason she couldn't bring herself to care. 

After a few more minutes of silent and awkward driving, Aelin couldn't bear it anymore. 

“I’m fine guys.” She said with as much confidence as she could muster. “Please stop looking at me like I'm a time bomb.” 

Lysandra laughed and smiled. “Whatever you say A.” Aelin had never been this grateful for her best friend. 

“How about Rowan.” Lysandra continued. Every thought left Aelin’s head and she jolted upwards in her seat. 

“Are you insane? Are you literally fucking mental. I would get burned alive then have a conversation with him.” Aelin was practically yelling now. 

Lysandra only shrugged. “What’s the one thing that hurts more than sleeping with the best friend?” She asked Aedion. 

“Sleeping with the guy you told him not to worry about.” Her cousin recited, smirking in the rearview mirror. 

“Absolutely not. No way in hell.” She paused. “Besides, he wouldn't even give me the time of day.”

Lys squealed. “So you’re considering it.”

“No.” Aelin murmured, ignoring her friend’s pointed glares. 

“Alright.” Lysandra finally relented. “Just think on it.” 

“Fine.” Aelin nodded, and went back to staring at nothing through the car window. 

                                                     ~~~~~~~~

“Lorcan!” Rowan yelled out. “Where are you guys?” 

“Out back.” Came the booming yell of Lorcan Salvaterre. 

Sighing, Rowan put his coat back on and walked through the house to the back door. Only, Fenrys greeted him, patting him on the back and moving over on the couch. “How was your day?” His friend asked. 

“Horrible.” Rowan admitted. 

Fenrys stuck out his bottom lip. “How come?” 

“I talked to Aelin Galathynius.” 

The rest of the group instantly stopped whatever conversations they’d been having and whirled towards him. Fenrys’ eyes were blown wide open as he struggled to find the words. 

“Explain.” Lorcan said at last, falling back in his chair. Vaughn and Gavriel were staring at him cautiously, as if he might have another breakdown.  “Her cousin hit my car.” He grumbled. 

“The first time you speak to Aelin in nearly two years is because you crashed into her car” Vaughn reiterates. 

Rowan only nods. Fenrys, bless him, somehow restrains from laughing. 

“So do tell.” Gavriel gestures for Rowan to go into more detail. 

“I made some comment about the breakup, she refused to look at me, I basically mocked and condescended her, and then Aedion told me to fuck off and I left.” He reached down into the cooler for a drink. 

“Um wow.” Lorcan sighed. “Nice going asshole.” 

Rowan just held his beer out in salute and took a long drink. He was more than ready to forget about the whole day and move on. Unfortunately, his friends seemed less inclined for his plan. 

“The news of their breakup is all over the school.” Fenrys told them. He had always been their number one source of gossip, considering the rest of them despised most social interaction. “Guys are already placing bets on who can sleep with her first. Cairn bet Nox 1000$ he can nail her by Dorian’s party this Friday.” 

Rowan tried and failed to ignore the tightening in his chest. 

“Will she even go to that?” Gavriel posed. “Dorian is Chaol’s best friend anyway.”

“She’ll be there.” Rowan blurted before he could take it back.

All eyes again flipped to him. “Why don’t you make a move Rowan?” Lorcan asked, a smirk etched onto his lips. 

“Fuck off Salvaterre. I hate the bitch.” Rowan snarled. 

“You didn't seem to hate her so much when - “ Fenrys began. 

Rowan was already up and moving before he could hear the end of the sentence. He ignored their calls of apology and to come back, instead getting into his car and pulling out. At last, he pulled into the parking space in front of his aunt’s house and leaned his head against the car window. 

It had barely been a week and his senior year was already shaping up to be a fucking mess. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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The most dangerous work of the world.

This was a request from @ole4kamgg

Enjoy!

Spencer walked in the BAU office, with a dizziness in his head. JJ walked towards him and held him as he collapsed in her arms crying.

"We will find them... Spence... That's a promise" said JJ hugging him and holding her tears. She never saw him like it. .

His wife and kids were kidnapped and there were not visible evidence of who did it.

Meanwhile the team was in the meeting room deciding what to do.

"Matt and Luke you will go to the last place Max and the kids were. Ashley you will get access to their cameras and look for anything of the unsub. Tara and I will get more of the..." Emily took a deep breath to hold her tears "... Of the victimology"

They all nodded and we're about to leave when Spencer walked in. Immediately all the team members walked to him and took turns to hug him.

"I want to help... I... I need to do something" Emily looked at him and sighed.

"Spence... You know how these things are... Remember Hotch"

"I know but I need to feel helpful" he looked at her with some tears.

At last Emily nodded "ok you go with Matt and Luke. And JJ come with me to their house. Tara stay here and look Spencer's cases. Look if there's someone looking for revenge" the blonde woman nodded and the team split.

Dave was out of town publishing his new book so he would not help them this time.

JJ looked outside of the window "why is this happening again? Why our families have to deal with this?"

"Sadly the unsub can't beat us in a fair fight so they play dirty. Using our loved one" said Emily.

"It sucks..." JJ started to cry softly. Emily just held her hand as they arrived to their house.

Meanwhile in the restaurant the guys arrived. They started to cheek the place where the car was parked.

The Luke started to imagine the situation, while Matt was inside talking to the manager to get the recording of the cameras. He sent them to Ashley and walked outside when the guys.

"Ok what did you find?" Asked Matt

"This..." Luke showed him a bag with a bracelet, it was simple.

"This isn't Max's so we can be agree that the unsub is a woman" Spencer said looking for any other clue.

They continued to check the place but there were nothing else at plain sight.

Luke's phone rang "hey there Ash, you are on speaker"

"Hey guys. Ok I check the video and I just send you something interesting. The person who kidnapped Max and the kids looks definitely like a woman. She's wearing sunglasses and a hoodie on so I can't see her face. But I called you because I saw something interesting. As you can see on your tablets the woman got distracted for a second while Max was getting the kids in their car seats when she throw something to the bushes" as she was talking they could see it on Matt's tablet.

"That's very smart of her" said Luke.

"Yeah and I could see how she ripped off a bracelet so she is leaving clues"

"That's so Max..." Said Luke with a chuckle "we will check it and go back to analyze the evidence. Luke ended the conversation and Spencer walked to the bushes where the piece of paper squeezed into a ball.

Spencer put the ball in an evidence bag and the three men left.

The women in the Reid's house where searching for evidence. JJ was outside while Emily was inside. They discovered some things in the trash can that showed that the family had being spying.

"I guess this is enough prove that the real victim is Spence" said JJ.

"Yeah but who...?"

Back in the head quarter the team talked about the evidence. They were agree that the person who kidnapped Max was from a previous case. But they did not know who.

"I guess the key is this paper... Max throw it while the unsub was distracted" said Spencer "let's see it"

He puts his gloves on and opens the piece of paper. There was some handwriting from Max. Spencer's eyes opened widely after reading.

"Oh my..." Said him in shock.

"What's up Spence?" Asked JJ.

"Ok... Quick heads-up. I had been talking to Max about my previous cases. Telling her what happened and she took notes. She wanted to know and remember that in case someone wanted to hurt us..." He sighed "and this paper is about Lindsey Vaughn"

"Wait... What? She is in jail after kidnapped your mom and working with Cat"

"Not anymore" said Tara "I called to the federal prison she was in and they told me she escape... Six months ago..."

"Really? And why they never told us?" Said a very angry Emily.

"The guard who was in charge of her area was working with her and he never told anyone until his supervisor decided to supervise" said Tara rolling her eyes "that's when he discovered everything"

"How long?"

"A week ago"

"Jeez... Well we need to move quickly. Let's look for her save places" they all nodded and left to do it "the main question is... Why is she doing?"

The team dedicated all day looking for information. Penelope even joined them to help them.

The situation was getting critical as the hours passed and they did not know where she was.

Until finally they had some clues. The team split again in two locations. Matt, Luke and Tara when to a location and JJ, Emily and Spencer when to the other.

They were nervous because of everything they went through the years.

Matt, Luke and Tara's location was not the right one so Emily and company must have the right one.

When they arrived they went slowly in looking in each compartment. After some more minutes they finally reached the place where Lindsey Vaughn held Reid's family.

"Well well well... Look who finally arrived" said Lindsey with a smirk "our superhero, Spencer Reid" said this with sarcasm holding her gun up to the door, shooting if any of them showed their face.

"Lindsey you want me, not them. Let my family go" said Spencer hiding his feelings of worry.

"Yes I want you... I WANT YOU TO SUFFER!!" She said in rage "suffer like I did when you took Cat away from me... You are the responsable for her dead"

Now everything makes sense. She was trying to revenge Cat's dead "she decided to accept the dead penalty... It's not my fault"

"You pushed her!!!" Said Lindsey clearly upset "you made her do it...!!"

They decided to split because there was another door from behind. Meanwhile Spencer stayed to distract her.

He kept her talking while JJ and Emily moved the other door.

When they were there they managed to free the kids without Lindsey to see them. They were scared but JJ was able to keep them quite as part of a game. She got out with the kids but Max will be harder to get her out since she was closer to Lindsey and her main target.

So Spencer had to do something desperate. He decided to stand in front of the door holding up his gun. Emily was at the other door and when Lindsey held up her gun toward him then to Max, she did not have other choice but give her a shot from behind, killing her immediately.

They ran to Max to free her and she immediately hugged him "I... I knew you would understand"she said in tears hugging him tightly "I knew it..." They walked out of the building as a second ambulance arrived to check her.

As they checked Max Spencer walked to his kids and hugged them.

"Daddy you squeezed me" said Jason giggling softly.

"Oh I'm sorry buddy" he smiled with tears in his eyes.

"Don't be sad daddy..." Said Rachel looking at him with a little pout.

"I'm not sad honey. I'm happy" he smiled at her "you can cry when you are happy or sad" they smiled big and hugged him more.

"This is always a gratifying moment. When a family is reunited and there's a happy ending" said JJ to Emily.

"Yeah... I live up for this moments in these job"

OOooOOooOO

Finally I put this into words. I had been planning this for quite a while but today is ready!

Hope you liked it. Comments are welcome and appreciated!

Maxcer squad: @dreatine @andiebeaword @aperrywilliams