#like at least the ‘mercy’ ppl are consistent about this

[ilynpilled]

what i find so funny about that ben shapiro clip is that there is a specific type of dudebro exactly like that that permeates this fandom. like their entire world view does not make a lick of sense as apparent by their takes on this series. they applaud the quality of being willing to use “necessary violence” in tywin & etc, and they seem to only understand the nuances of the use of necessary force when it is used for things it shouldn’t be used for (like sustaining a corrupt regime). they throw fits about dany navigating a situation where radical change is required in order to dismantle a system of slavery that perpetuates endless violence, and write a million thinkpieces about it and how it shows her madness or incompetence, but then they turn around and applaud this psuedo utilitarianism that they project onto other characters that are playing the game (especially ones with atrocious motives) because they want to live out some sort of hard and seasoned male leader competence fantasy. it is so fucking funny like:

use of “needed” force for subjugation = good

use of needed force for emancipation = bad

they would rather applaud a ruler that builds on violent subjugation than abolition & radical change. one is considered a clever and competent utilitarian, while the other too brutal, too far gone, and too idealistic

[hausofmamadas]

Plastic Gangster | Anatoly Givenchy Romanov

(He is modern man but don’t even think about trying to play tickle fuck with him bc he is serious man too)

The Gentleman, Episode 3 - Where’s My Weed At?

∴

So, remember how I actually despised this tiny, angry little mess of a man until I’d lain eye on his alter ego. Well comrades, this is that alter ego.

And what exactly is it about this scene that turned me around so drastically? where literally like if my body were a car, my brain’s grabbing the steering wheel and pistol whipping it, full 180 in the opposite direction as fast as Tam’s pitching that McLaren around the parking lot ?

OHHHH I don't know.... could it be the over-the-top, Boris-and-Natasha, his-and-hers Russian accents? Could it be the fact that they clearly do it against Eddie's explicit instructions? that he prob recited like a drill sergeant in the car no doubt, to avoid another I-just-killed-someone-E-I-E-I-O!!!!! on the way there ORRR could it be the fact that for whatever reason the shit seems to work? bc like somehow it does work, and in a way that Eddie's strategy was super .... not, at least in terms of getting them into the building.

Idk if Mama Mercy was so put off by the accents, she just wanted to get the sale over with, or if she heard the words, "Little Leopard Lady” and/or “FUCK. money” come out of ‘Anatoly's’ mouth, and decided that only someone with more money than God would say some edge-lord shit like that out loud. Whatever it is? It fucking works. Mercy caves. Okay and she was stone-walling tf out of Eddie who's wildly capable of doing pretty much anything and everything else except this. But for Anatoly it’s red carpet, the whole PIA pain-in-the-ass VIP treatment.

And I think the reason this success is so remarkable is bc at this point, the stakes are high, and yet the bar for Freddie is so low, it might as well be the core of the earth. Like he's managed to fuck things up so consistently and with such catastrophic results, if there was a drunk, coke-sniffing, constantly-crying version of the Tasmanian devil, Fredward would be Her, okay. But this is one thing he does correctly, the first thing in the entire show (this is ep 3 of 7, for reference), the first moment when he shows a modicum of value besides being hilarious for reasons that are usually-but-not-always accidental to the scooby gang as it were.

And honestly?? it kinda makes sense that, in this case, he comes thru in a way Eddie can't. Bc what the actual fuck has Fredward Horniman been doing all his life, if not bullshitting bouncers and promoters, charming them enough so they lift up those red, velvet ropes to exclusive (read: pretentious) underground clubs, boxing matches, raves, bath houses, key parties bc no one will convince me he and Tam don't love a good key party once in a while. No one will, it just won't happen like Freddie has CONMAN written all over him, doesn't he? Not necessarily like good? con-man? okay he's no Madoff, right but good enough that he can make you think for a split second, if you really tilt your head and squint your eyes, that this person must be telling the truth.

Bc only someone telling the truth would feel comfortable acting that fucking unbelievable.

Like who would look this woman in the face and say without an ounce of irony, “listen, in my life funny little lady, if you are not safe…. You are DED” I mean the only thing missing is him dragging his finger across his neck, all miming a guillotine. FREDDIE. FREDDIE FUCKING HORNIMAN, THATS WHO.

Beautifultropicalfish Edwina makes the mistake of trying to sell a believable story, a lie grounded in too much reality, when it's clear that the clientele for Mama Mercy prob consists of like eccentric arms-dealers and kooky billionaires ppl with some really sus, really weird, uniquely terrifying ‘hobbies’ that none of us ever want to know about but that will inevitably be the subject of a true-crime doc on HBO someday. Like this woman speaks to the most mind-blowingly ridiculous men on the daily.

And is Eddie over here with his sexy professor cardigan and sexy look-im-such-a-bookworm glasses, rolling up to negotiate on behalf of some white-collar-crime, new-money, C-suite, tech exec with ‘only’ a seven-figure salary, when really he needs to be coming at this with more of that oil tycoon, crimes-against-humanity, Fuck-You-Money energy that Freddie's serving.

Eddie also just can’t seem to suppress the Narc vibes that are seeping from his pores and tbh it’s actually what makes him such a great gangster but not a great con man. Bc Mercy sniffs him out p much every time he speaks, like so👆

Now, it's unclear if Freddie enacts Operation!BorisandNatasha in response to Eddie's evident flailing or if he planned to do it the entire time but either way, you cannot tell me he's not responsible for them being able to get into the chop shop to test drive that car. Bc again, it’s not enough to just walk into this place and act like you belong there. In this case, acting like you belong has to be: giving a ruthless, machete-wielding murderer a cute nickname like “little leopard lady,” claiming that she “laaaavs” when you call her that even tho she seems less than enthused, pitching a fit about wanting something less “poof-poof,” and “more sexier,” and spitting general bars like, “don’t play tickle fuck with me, lady” BC WHO TF SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT UNLESS YOU HAVE MORE MONEY THAN GOD AND HEAVEN AND ALL THE COSMOS

And bc it's not entirely clear whether or not Freddie decided to do this on the fly, I feel liek it’s one of those choose-your-own adventures situations. So I, for one, choose to believe that this was a plan deployed in the face of Eddie's plan not working, and for all of his flaws, Freddie is savvy enough to know how to bullshit someone to get his foot in the door. Bc I firmly believe he can be competent juuuuuuust long enough and lbr probly only long enough to do that.

I mean cmon look at Mercy👇you know she thinks he’s a lil funny

And as if the above display of uncharacteristic competence wasn’t enough, I’m more endeared to Freddie bc of how crazy he is about his wife. And why tf wouldn’t he be when she’s clearly way too cool for him which he seems to be vaguely aware of just casual busting out these moves ripped straight from from stunt choreography of like the fucking Italian Job or something and for like exactly no???????reason????whatsoever?????

Which brings me to the next point bc can we talk for a bajillion yrs about Tamzin is out-of-fucking-nowhere an incredible stunt!driver/renaissance!woman??? and they drop that on us and move on like I'm not asking a bajillion questions like whywhenandhow’d she learn to do this????

Like???? was she once, in her early 20s, engaged to an F1 racecar driver who taught her all the Ways of the Track before he tragically died in an accident, and in her grief, sought solace in a boy named Freddie, whomst she met at a race once, and then later married??? Was she a stunt double who worked on hollywood sets, appearing in some of the most critically lauded, well-known movies, before she settled down and married an aristocrat for his money, a boy named Freddie, whomst she met once at an afterparty, and then despite his lack of wealth bc she was in way too deep at that point and made the fatal mistake of actually falling in love later married??? Is she the long, lost daughter of legendary stunt performer, daredevil himself, Evel Kneivel who taught her everything she needed to know about her birthright before shipping her off to boarding school in the UK when she was just a lass, and then grew up and was charmed by a boy named Freddie, whomst she met when her all-girl’s high school or secondary school whatever tf they call it was paired up with his all-boys high school at a cotillion, and then later married???

I NEED ANSWERS, RICHIE. COUGH UP SOME ANSWERS, MAN. OR DON'T, BUT BRING TAM BACK, WE NEED MORE TAM IN S2, IT'S OFFICIALLY A MANDATE.

taglist: @drabbles-mc, @narcolini, @bellinitini, @ashlingiswriting, @when-did-this-become-difficult, @noctuabunda

[superemeralds]

Hi there, hope your day is going well! Regarding the Silver Zine Mod apps: is there anything in particular that you are looking for regarding proof of experience for 1) interns and 2) writing? (if you want to talk about the others I'd be happy to know, though those two are my personal picks)

I know interns don't *require* experience, but should there be a general statement of strengths and/or potentially helpful experience? (e.g., familiarity with Discord, contributions to past zines)

Similarly, if the main job of writing mods is to proof read and critique work, is a statement about the applicant's experience sufficient, or would you prefer some kind of "proof-of-ability" included? (i.e., a Google doc with track changes/comments, or a fic that they have beta read)

I just wanted to be sure before applying that I wouldn't include too much or too little. Thank you for your time! 💜

ok so 1) intern:

really all that's needed is an interest in organization and/or management as i'm gonna give small tasks in that direction. experience will be aquired on the job :D

as for 2) writers:

examples of your own writing work tell me everything about your skill and uh. whats the word. correctness in writing? idk english is my fourth language have mercy with me aksjfhsakj

if u can show variety in consistent quality/or at least believable interest in a variety of things thats def a plus bc im hoping for the zine to host multiple forms of writing like next to the popular fic stuff also poems, reports etc whatever ppl come up with

[pepsicolabunches]

Getting a bit really stressed about my roommates not working. One is making ei so there's at least some money coming in for rent, but the other quit her job a couple months ago (right after we moved to the new, big house) and has had to ask for everyone else to cover her portion of the rent...

I can't really help much because I don't really even make enough for food, let alone an entire other persons rent

To be clear, I'm not asking tumblr to help with my financial struggles. If you want to help people, there are countless people in crisis that you can donate to. There are people in your own community who could use that help.

I just need somewhere to vent about the fear I'm feeling about my situation. If we get evicted because we couldn't pay rent, I'm absolutely certain I won't be able to find another place, and could end up homeless which, as a disabled person barely holding on, sometimes in constant pain, I can tell you that I will not make it on the streets.

Luckily I do have people in my life that I can temporarily move in with, but not with my stuff. And I do have a lot of stuff. Mostly books and clothes. Almost all the books I've lugged with me across Canada, through my many many moves.

I'm very grateful for consistently having a place to live, enough to slowly acquire many things. Not things that are worth anything, I can't sell them or anything. And I don't want to. Maybe it's a bit selfish but I've worked my ass off dealing with working while being in severe pain. Working while recovering from surgeries. Also, as a person living in poverty, having things means I don't need to buy those things. Which is good because I do not have the funds to just buy things when I need them.

Most of my things I've had for most of my life.

Idk

Idk where my brain was going with this I just... Idk I'm making this about me I suppose. And also about so many other people struggling through poverty. It's like, really really expensive to not have the money for things. I buy cheap items because I can't afford expensive things. I buy things when they are on sale even if I can't afford them because I know it will last longer than buying it cheap.

I've messed up my guts cuz I haven't eaten properly in more than a decade. Not having enough energy to make food means I have to buy things that are really easy to make. Sometimes I have to bite the bullet and spend so much fucking money on getting food delivered because I'm in so much pain I can barely walk to the bathroom, let alone the grocery store and then also making food. Last month I cried making a sandwich because it was too painful.

I guess this is about fear. I'm already aware that there aren't really any systems in place to help people who need it. The systems in place are overworked because they aren't funded properly. They don't really have any solutions for ppl struggling to make rent/buy food. Definitely no solutions for people who are poor and also have health issues. For some reason they expect disabled people to be able to access the same solutions which, often is not possible.

Doctors keep suggesting my roommates act as some kind of a care aide, getting my food, making my food, helping with cleaning, driving me places. But also don't think I have severe enough pain to actually suggest getting a care aide. They just assume my friends/partner are fully willing and able to support me out of the goodness of their hearts. As if the people around me are not also struggling. As if I could just put the responsibility of taking care of a person onto someone who very much did not offer their help. And they shouldn't. I'm absolutely not putting myself in the situation where I am at the mercy of other people's unpaid labour. These are my friends, not my personal workers.

I was trying to get a service dog, but they cost a whopping $40,000. I cannot afford $300/month for food, so there's not a chance in hell I could ever get one. The nonprofit organization that might have covered the cost of it is already full (waitlist also full) so if that ever happens it will be years from now.

Every solution requires a lot of effort (that, again, I do not have the energy for). Every problem requires solutions that do not exist.

I'm doing the absolute best I can and I'm just, acutely aware that it is not enough.

Feeling the weight of stress piling up on me... When I ask for relief, all I get is more steps to climb.

Feeling trapped in this body which is absolutely constantly reminding me of how I am unable to do the things I need to do. If it's not one thing, it's another. I had 7 months of every day pain so bad I had to go to the er many times. Do I know why? No. I'm just grateful I have had a couple weeks of not that specific type of pain. Not that I'm pain free of course. Going to the grocery store a couple blocks away, filling up a rolling cart ($130 of food that won't even last me a week), not making it home without crying because I can feel bones scraping together in my hips (no, not arthritis, just cuz it wants to :))

Genuinely, not sure what I'm supposed to do. Everything I do feels like too much and also not enough. Feels like I'll never climb out of the hole I've wiggled my way into.

So terrified that I will have to deal with all of this while also not having stable housing

Im not expecting anyone to read all of this, I'm just, needing to put this somewhere. Getting the stress out of my brain (hopefully)

[acreaturecalledgreed]

Do you have any Vexen headcanons you’d like to share?

i do! mostly i just headcanon him a lot as the equivalent of being norwegian in the khverse and dump a lot of my own cultural feelings and folklore on him

he's literally a troll, hence the tail i draw him with, i worry its Too Odd but its a headcanon that makes me v happy and at least two friends have told me they just straight up forgot that the tail Wasnt canon b/c how consistently i do it wkjdfsdkf

he's aromantic nonbinary trans dude who is exclusively attracted to men and he did his own top surgery b.c he's fucking raw like that

he uses himself as a test subject A Lot, to a dangerous and reckless extenct, not really out of mercy for any other test subjects he could have but really more out of a sense of pride and pragmatism. he knows he can do it Correctly, so it saves him from wasting time

he's very proper in how he speaks but it does happen not infrequently that he'll use "childish" turns of phrase if hes preoccupied with something else or if he's relaxed around present company- a lot of the Very Proper mannerisms are masking

holy christ on a cracker this man is autistic

he stims with the flappy oversized sleeves : ) they are his favourite

overheats hilariously easily, and he naturally makes any area around him a lot colder just kinda with his presence- he already had a knack for ice magic before his heart was torn out, and i hc that part of what helps a nobody stabilize into anything resembling a still living creature is they essentially fuse with their own magic

he both wields and kind of *is* ice magic

(i have stupidly overthought headcanons about the nature of how Heart vs Soul works in kh as well as Even/Vexen's specific knowledge field in this matter)

he's a lot better with children than most people expect and this is at least 50% b/c he's just kind of paternal in his overall disposition and 50% b/c its a lot easier to perform horrible heart stealing experiments on children when they trust you, hes not a good person

he would, if you asked him, admit that he probably would consider himself xion and repliku's Dad, but he wouldnt say the same thing about ienzo/zexion- its not that he doesnt love him as a parent but rather that he has a strange aversion to thinking of himself as a Parent towards ienzo/zexion and will instead refer to himself as his guardian and ienzo/zexion as his ward

if you asked ienzo about it, he'd probably tell you that Even is his Even, he's not a Dad he's an Even, etc

theyre neurotic

he's a biologist and he genuinely loves animals a lot and is much better at handling them than ppl would think (once upon a time in radiant garden, Even had a very spoiled chocobo)

i really cannot stand "vexen doesnt Get art" headcanons b/c the general "oooh science and art incompatible" thing drives me Insane

he likes art a lot very much ty and if you give him free time that he's not allowed to spend in the lab he'll probably spend it sketching things

[burningdarkfire]

once again experiencing extreme overwatch nostalgia so loaded up the client one last time for real before overwatch 2 launches. it’s been almost four years since i played with any sort of regularity but legitimately i have NEVER since played a game that actually brought me as much genuine joy on a mechanical level as playing mercy in overwatch did. this game took me through graduating undergrad and the entirety of my masters. i had a huge falling out with one of the friends i played with and faded naturally from another and am still insanely close with a third. i look back at this game with so so much fondness. it’s so hard to try and capture what this game meant to me through a text post and some numbers but i’m gonna write them all down anyway 😂

i played the most during seasons 4-6 when i played about 75 hours a season and then dropped to about 20-30 hours consistently until season 14, which unsurprisingly coincided exactly with the launch of apex. i stuck around a little with small comebacks in seasons 15-16, 19, and 25 but never played more than a handful of hours because it just was never the same without friends. i have a spreadsheet with notes on all my comp games from seasons 3-16&19 but i’m missing a couple from seasons 2&25. i was GOOD* on mercy (*remembering that this is the first fps i ever played and also i suck at games in general), i peaked in diamond in season 6 which is still the highest i’ve been in any game ever, and i was consistently at least a plat player until about season 12 or so when i fell off a bit. there’s a king’s row potg 5 man res that i can STILL bring to mind on demand haha. season 3 was the only season i didn’t play the most mercy (lucio got 33 hours to mercy’s 17) and season 7 was the only season that i played ONLY mercy. i got 7 gold weapons (mercy, dva, s76, zen, widowmaker, moira, brig) and could’ve afforded 5 more. i have currently 116/130 of mercy’s cosmetics, of which i think only 2 were from before i stopped playing? writing all of these out feels so meaningless lol they’re like “fun facts” but there’s just no true way to recreate the feeling of loading into games and running into the best teams and randos in voice chat and getting to fly every day. like yes there were bad teams too and shitty internet strangers and frustrating tilty nights but idk .. when i started playing overwatch in 2016 i was coming out of pretty much the worst period of my life and by 2019 i had been uplifted so much (not by the game. but u know. through association) that i rly do just have such good memories of it. the friendships i had that were cemented through this game meant so much to me, even the ones that didn’t last, and especially the one that did. i even wrote fic for it back in 2018 that i still think is alright, although i never really got into that fandom side of things. it’s weird bc it’s so easy for me to explain that i’m a League of Legends Gamer because i’m literally still playing it in 2022 and i have real, concrete proof like my academic work that i’ve loved it so it’s just an inescapable part of my identity but overwatch was really profoundly huge to me personally as well! but it feels like it just gets buried in one game of many that ppl have cycled through in the years. ah idk .. the inescapable wheel of time, etc ..

[theunconcernedembalmer]

ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot

just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.

im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)”, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.

im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.

going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.

i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.

this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.

(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)

so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder. 

so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.

aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.

having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.

idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas

so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)

im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun

[bisexualgendryas]

gendrya + jonsa au: bastard lords and hidden ladies (part 1)

so, this is very much not the whoooole concept as I practically just switch from Cat!Arya to Alayne!Sansa (this post is basically just Gendrya + Alayne!Sansa, sorry, not even written Jonsa, but I promise the full concept includes happy married!Jonsa (two versions, too, lol)), but I am tired af whilst simultaneously being really pumped that ppl wanted to see this idea so here’s (much of) the longass outline of the thing I posted about earlier:

au wip, a legitimized-boys, secret-identity-sisters canon divergence piece, where: Stannis becomes king (and keeps Gendry alive), Arya accepts Jaqen’s offer to work for a courtesan and Gendry finds her while on business for the Crown, Jon gets legitimized after taking Ramsay down, and Baelish makes a betrothal for Alayne to Gendry that she later basically manipulates Stannis into changing into one with Jon after Gendry and his true love ditched the whole ass crownlands. It’s got a lot of book plot overlap too but I have no true concept of the timeline in terms of when different canon events happened. If you want more of this or have ideas or anything, feel free to share them!

Instead of Gendry having to escape from Stannis, Shireen finds out that her father’s found a cousin of hers - a true one, not one of Cersei’s bastards but one of her uncle’s - and especially with pressure from both her and Davos, Stannis ultimately decides he’ll keep Gendry alive, have him taught to behave properly, how to manage lordly duties, and so on.

Jaqen realizes that Arya may not be perfectly cut out for being Faceless, and makes her an offer - that he could find her employment of a different sort. As he’s noted, she’s taken by the allure of the courtesans, whose jobs include far more than just the sexual duties shared by those who work in brothels.

At first, Arya insists she can get better, but then Mercy!Arya ends up becoming friends with a girl who works on one courtesan’s ship, and after hearing many stories about how the women play instruments and tell stories and sing songs, she decides that perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst thing to try out. She talks to Jaqen, tucks Needle in a belt, and makes friends with Mercy’s friend with her own face, as Cat, and then the friend convinces the courtesan that Cat’s a charming young woman who should come work with them.

Stannis first loses at the Blackwater, but then with assistance from the Iron Bank and much of Westeros, as well as some more magic, he later manages to topple Tommen and take the Throne.

Needing to be sure of where the Crown stood with their Essosi allies, Stannis sends Gendry and Davos to Braavos to speak with the Iron Bank. As the Starks were always so keen to remind everyone, winter was coming.

And, ahem, the men sent with Gendry and Davos certainly intend to as well. And, only naturally, after a couple nights of well-enjoyed brothel trips, some of them decide they all ought to take advantage of their being in Essos and seek out some renowned courtesan as well - they had Westerosi lords and knights, after all, one of whom was in line for the bloody Iron Throne! Surely someone would love to host them!

Spoiler: yes, someone absolutely would. (Especially considering that Robert had quite the reputation - not as a particularly fun partner, but definitely as a man who’d finance the purchasing of a week’s worth of alcohol in two nights and come back to bed every pretty girl an establishment had afterwards.) How many Braavosi courtesans or whores can say they were bedded or courted in any manner by the son of a Westerosi king? Not many.

Contrary to expectations, Cat ends up being one of them, though not so much while they’re in Braavos. And as sweet and reassuring as it is that her friends, her companions in training, are certain that this lord immediately realizes how pretty she is, she knows the moment that Lord Baratheon meets her eyes he can see Arya, buried deep beneath Cat, and when she speaks in response to the courtesan he and his men are visiting, he hears her as well, though she’s glad to see he’s smart enough not to have his shock blatantly on display.

After a couple visits, his men return to the brothels, the enchantment of listening to old songs more lost on them than the enjoyment of fucking - but Gendry keeps coming to the barge, even though it’s only him and his uncle’s Hand at that point, and after a couple nights of only them, trading stories with the women and listening to songs in languages that have barely been heard since Westeros’ common became, well, common, he actually asks to have time with only Cat.

And of course, the parts of them that are closest to the Arya and Gendry they once were have an awkward but heartfelt reunion - but the parts of them that have grown up are acutely aware of how different they are, how different their places are. Still, he’s not surprised she became an assassin, and she’s not surprised he doesn’t enjoy the vast majority of what’s involved in being at court. They don’t share everything, but they share quite a bit, almost falling back into the sort of friendship they’d thrived off having. On following nights they talk more about things - about Shireen, about the Hound, about the Red Woman, even a bit about King’s Landing girls and Braavosi dockworkers.

It takes a couple more nights, but after a while she decides to remind him that, while it’s not something guaranteed simply by seeking out a courtesan, he is allowed to bed her. (With permission from her employer, of course, as payment and whatnot would be arranged, but…it’s him, her friend, grown and handsome, so Arya doesn’t mind giving the suggestion.)

He asks, though, what would be the cost just to kiss her. For all the time she’s spent learning people, especially men, it’s embarrassing to be caught off guard as she is, but she manages to gather herself and say that it would depend on who he intends to be telling. She doesn’t really let him consider that, though, not the first night, because she simply does kiss him.

They don’t explicitly tell people they’ve started kissing, but they’re terrible enough at hiding their affections that they’re quickly the talk of their respective social groups. Everyone among them, and probably others who view the barge consistently, knows that he keeps coming back, after all…until their few weeks in Braavos are coming to an end, at least, Iron Bank negotiations and all other necessary business of the Crown having been handled.

But then, before Arya’s really made to think about the fact that he found her on the other side of the world and inched closer and closer to becoming a lover only to have to leave her again, Gendry asks her to leave with him. He can’t give her back her home or her family, but if nothing else they can live safely, together - and more than that, he simply wants not to leave her, ever. From what he’s said of his own family, she doesn’t imagine she’ll get a warm welcome, but she can’t stand the idea of him leaving her either, so she packs up what few belongings Cat has and says farewell to her friends, and to Braavos.

Other than the scandal of her coming with, none of the men seem to think much of her taking a place in his cabin. It’s there that he ultimately decides he’s free enough to bed her for the first time. They’ve not yet made it to King’s Landing by the time he realizes he’s completely and irrevocably in love with her.

Arya’s mainly right to think she won’t get a warm welcome; both Stannis and Selyse almost immediately denigrate Gendry for following his father’s path, the path of foolish men, for what kind of lord openly brought a whore to their castle? She’s not actually a whore, he cares to remind them, even though it stokes the fire of the fury. He has his own to match Stannis, though, and it’s clear and it’s spectacular in its own way. So, too, does Shireen - lovely, kind Shireen who’s so happy for the prospect of a friend that she again begs her father on Gendry’s behalf, and reluctantly, Stannis allows Cat to remain, with some strict guidelines, many of which Arya has no complaints about meeting.

Up North, though, Jon has heard about Arya’s marriage to Ramsay, and decides to reach out to Stannis for help on the matter, help of some sort, any sort. It’s not immediately granted, especially as Jon is already asking for Other help, but ultimately, Stannis starts to consider it. Ramsay was only ruling in the North because of a series of betrayals against those who would rightfully rule it - if the last known living child of Ned Stark, a man who died for speaking the truth of Stannis’ claim and denouncing Cersei’s bastards, was asking for help, to save his family, was it not Stannis’ duty to give it?

He does decide that having Jon as an ally is his best move, and begrudgingly he sends some troops North with Davos and Melisandre, to assist Jon’s wildlings in taking back Winterfell. The Night’s Watch doesn’t all take kindly to the Lord Commander’s priorities, but by the time mutiny drags down Jon Snow, Melisandre is in residence at Castle Black and she brings him back, having seen him at battle at Winterfell in her flames, knowing it needs to follow.

He takes Stannis’ sent men and his wildlings and begins to march south, only for a broken Theon to bring to him Sansa’s friend Jeyne, whose identity Theon had hid so that she could be believed to be Arya. The battle is hard-won, but they win it still, and Stannis gives him his father’s name for the victory, but it’s hollow.

Hollow, too, is the love promised to sweet Alayne, whose false father seeks out his best excuses to wed her to the highest bidder, a title claimed all too soon by the king and queen, part of their plan to change the behavior of the king’s nephew and part of Petyr’s plan to return to power in King’s Landing. A bastard lord for a bastard lady - to Stannis that’s like to sound fair, but to Sansa, it’s everything but. She’s learned to pay attention to whispers and rumors, and with this…Petyr intends to mold her into Cersei, it nearly seems. A Baratheon with a temper and a love, and he’d have Alayne marry him, if only to return to seeking the power of the crown. She knows he’d been speaking with Lord Bolton, which still boils her blood even now that she knows it wasn’t her sister who had been made to be his poor wife - she’d doubted it always, especially with the recollection of how Arya had once raised her own sword even to Joffrey - but he still will drag her back to residence in King’s Landing rather than let her go home…unless she can work something out with her betrothed, and perhaps she can.

Not that he intends to give her the chance, though - the moment that Stannis informs him of the betrothal is a bigger, louder fight than they’ve ever had. Stannis might be king, but he owns Gendry no more than he ever could his brothers, and Cat even less, and he won’t be allowed to forget it. There’s a ship bound for Braavos in the bay, and soldiers intended to take her to it, soldiers who are meant to grab her from Gendry’s chambers while she’s alone there and escort her so that he doesn’t get a say.

Stannis, though, doesn’t know that only some parts of any woman are soft, and Gendry’s the only man with rights to ask for any of her softness. Even without real context she knows the soldiers are only obeying their king, so Arya focuses on injury and little more, rushing down underneath the castle, down where she’d ran when Syrio had told her to do so. And, as if by magic - perhaps, actually, by magic, for she wouldn’t know - Ser Davos finds her. He takes her to a dusty corner, hands her a wine skin and one of Cat’s other dresses, and tells her to wait for him to come back…and so she does.

She waits until the entire area is getting dark, only the trail of the sun and no lanterns or sconces to show her the possible way out, and holds tight to Needle until after the sun is set and he scurries back to her, Gendry at his side, rushing to her like never before. Davos has given him clothes that once had belonged to a son of his, and grabbed them some food.

They make it out of the city on a ship manned by one of Davos’ other sons, a trade ship headed for the Riverlands - straight for Hot Pie, as far as they’re concerned. Arya might cry, in part from feeling terribly anxious and in better part because he’s so terribly kind.

Alayne and her father arrive in their carriage a few days later, to a very apologetic royal party, and Alayne spends much of her first days back in the city thinking how horribly fed up she is with men for all their machinations. Princess Shireen, though, is very clear that while it’s a pity someone was hurt by it, her cousin is deeply in love, and in their private company she calls her father foolish for thinking he could ever sway him. It’s so very Sansa of her, that Sansa herself is easily swayed to their side, though she knows Petyr is having much more difficulty accepting the rejection.

It’s all very much a lovely love story to Sansa, though, as it is to Shireen, and Alayne bonds with the princess easily. She even enjoys Shireen’s stories about this woman Cat, and finds herself wanting to know more and more, especially as she realizes that in a way she has taken the other woman’s place, just in Shireen’s life as a friend as opposed to in her cousin’s. Stannis and Selyse, though, really do stew in their displeasure. Petyr does a better job of hiding his, but she knows that’s only because his intentions are about power and not family, let alone love.

Then, one day, about a fortnight after their arrival, Stannis mentions a part of the plan she’d been unaware of, one she might be able to use.

He wanted to secure the Vale support so that he could support Jon - Jon Stark, now, newly legitimized Lord Stark, warden of the north, the man who had beaten down House Bolton but needed more of his king’s support to fight a larger, more pressing battle, one against the dead, one for the living. As Petyr says, the details make it sound like madman’s words, but King Stannis has magic on his council and more importantly, this was Jon, and Jon was…Jon. Surely if he declared that the dead could be raised by some unnatural force and made to fight the living, he was speaking the truth of it.

She confronts Petyr in private - had the Vale not already been sworn to House Stark? He disagrees, cautiously - House Arryn had been truly bound by House Tully, and Jon had no Tully to speak of.

“Jon Arryn, my uncle, fostered my father, Jon’s father. He called his banners against House Targaryen in defense of Rickard Stark and his children, and Jon is as much Ned Stark’s son as Robb or Bran or Rickon, no matter where your loyalties lie.”

“Your cousin -”

“My cousin trusts his beloved stepfather not to mislead him,” she finishes, proud that she can see in his eyes how the remark wounds him, and then she takes a walk to the godswood to get her head around her situation.

She wounds Petyr again the next day, by bringing to court a proposal of a marriage between her and Jon - she prefaces by saying that she and her father had spoken of it, just gently enough that no one would doubt her, for Lord Baelish keeps his expression so very static, his surprise just barely visible to even an educated viewer. It’s a good offer, to Stannis, and on the surface it’s good for Petyr as well, though no one would say it’s better than putting his future grandchild in the line of succession for the Iron Throne.

Stannis, though, is perhaps realizing he’s glad to have removed a contender from his line, and he’s quick enough to agree to write to Lord Stark with little more than Petyr’s confirmation that the Vale would give its strength in this war of Jon’s.

Petyr makes his displeasure known, but Sansa is sure enough that Jon will side with her that he agrees not to raise a fuss. She knows she’s made the potential error of keeping either of them from an heir, but if it allowed her to go home with her brother, she’d manage what she had to manage.

Jon, too, agrees, surprised for an offer but happy for it all the same, writing back to Stannis days before he’s actually set to leave for Dragonstone to mine dragonglass on the island, another part of their deal. Jon would remain the ever-vigilant guard of the realm, and Stannis would provide him what he needed to hold such a position well - that was how Ser Davos had said it.

They could figure out heritage when this great war was won.

[lionsenpai]

hey lion-frand, i was wondering, what are your thoughts on hardening or non-hardening leliana in origins and inquisition? what's your preference, and why? *chin-hands*

hmmmm i actually have been thinking about this question for a couple of hours and im now ready to word vomit my answer.

so! i like a hardened leliana in origins and an unhardened leliana in inquisition for the same reason: both options keep leliana closer to the morally grey area i think her character is supposed to inhabit. 

i think this is a lot easier to see in inquisition than it is in origins so i’ll stat there. by the time we meet up with leliana in inqusition, she’s very firmly rooted in her position as left hand of the divine/spymaster/co-founder of the inquisition. in fact, she’s defined by all 3 of these jobs at almost any given moment. we rarely see her talk about anything else and most of her memorable moments (dying for the inquisitor to get away in the redcliffe timeline is the first thing that comes to mind for me) involve her devotion to these positions. in a lot of ways, lelianas character becomes her jobs. this isn’t totally true, especially when you consider her friendship with josie or her rare mentions of the warden, but its a pretty consistent thing we see throughout the game. HOWEVER, one of the big moments that we see leliana’s character explored in a way that more directly relates to her than any of her positions is her personal quest!

when we arrive at the chantry and go through the quest with natalie, we get a chance to actually engage with leliana about why she’s doing what she’s doing - beyond the constant It Needs To Be Done reasoning she gives throughout the game. we actually get to talk about Her in the context of what shes doing as opposed to just hearing about how she had some guys ultra murdered for us, no thanks necessary btw. this to me was one of the best moments for leliana because up until that point, we do mostly just see her acting to fulfill her duties. we see her Being her job. which is!!!! cool, and lends well to a lot interesting scenarios. but it doesn’t really make for a cool character, if that makes sense? to me, leliana doesnt feel like a true character until we see her internal struggles with what she’s doing - people aren’t positions, and she can’t be one either! her having opinions on this and not just falling back into a role is what her a character. and her balancing What Needs To Be Done with a healthy dose of mercy is what her compelling! at least in my opinion. 

an unhardened leliana feels more organic and more interesting because she’s not just a killing machine who can take out whoever she needs to without any remorse or second guessing. that to me isnt a character so much as it is a plot device full of cool one-liners. 

(i also wonder how hardened leliana in inquisition maintains any of her relationships? is no one else concerned about this? like this isnt…… sustainable for her as a person if her friend group involves ppl like josie or cassandra who are!!! probably not into this For The Greater Good murder spree thing. what about her bae if she had one? like. how…… does a stab-happy leliana go on existing in the same capacity she did before? anyway, thats a topic for another time i guess)

the point is!!! an unhardened leliana feels more complex because she’s dealing with these internal struggles because what she feels she needs to do and what she thinks she can allow. this is where leliana feels most grey to me. its a difficult line to walk, and definitely one that is going to cause trouble down the line, but it also seems to be a happier path to walk. leliana can see the good in people and even afford to do some good herself (in ways that arent just kill the bad guys). and that’s really important to me with her character considering….

origins. 

ignoring the fact that all of the origins cast feels like cardboard cut-outs of hot people with vague personality traits, leliana in origins feels very much like her character has been cranked all the way to the other side of the spectrum. which makes sense! because her job in origins is to be a chantry sister. to see the good in everyone and do good as much as she can. it feels like an inversion of what she’s doing in inquisition because here she’s trying to be so sugar sweet and do so much good because thats what she should be doing as a sister. 

it feels, to me, like more or less of the same issue except this time the job is Severely different and so it presents differently. 

its been a Really long time since ive even looked at origins, but i remember being so much more interested in leliana once the marjolaine quest came up. and dont get me wrong, i think leliana’s got a lot of good in her to begin with! but the ultra optimistic, do no harm leliana that we see in the first half of origins (and im focusing mostly on what i remember of her dialogue and ignoring a healthy portion of gameplay mechanics eg: fighting) feels. not very grey. she doesnt really even feel very complex! 

it kind of just feels like leliana is trying to paste over everything she was before with this new persona provided by her new job.

(not to mention that faith and this whole chantry thing in the first place are almost definitely coping mechanisms to deal with the trauma of marjolaine betraying her and all the torture, heartbreak, and upheaval that accompanied that……  but that’s for another time.)

so i guess my preference for a hardened leliana in origins mostly has to do with the fact that she’s embracing who is was and who she wants to be (AND the struggles that come with that) more than just shoving one out of her life completely and basing her entire personality around the other. 

anyway thats my opinions on my girl, thanks for coming to my ted talk