#like am i someone or am i no one perceived to be someone

[sprites4ever]

I thought you lived in the US? Are you saying now that it is, indeed, turning fascist?

Also, I can DM you a photo of my Asperger's diagnosis if you want proof. And yes, I can totally bring that up, because it is an extremely important factor. Both on- and offline, this is far from the first time that I've experienced this EXACT dynamic.

And I never said that people are coming after me FOR being autistic. In fact, that's the issue: They DON'T know that I am autistic. They DON'T know that my perception, both sensory and emotional, is more intense and detailed than with neurotypical people, and that I am extremely literal and socially illiterate as a result. Their reactions are natural reactions to what they perceive as a personal attack, even though it wasn't meant as one: They retaliate with personal attacks, which I then deem undeserved and retaliate against, because I didn't think I was making a personal attack at first.

Imagine it like this: A red army and a blue army in a barely holding ceasefire. A red soldier tries driving a car to the blue camp, in order to deliver a letter that expresses readiness for a more permanent ceasefire. On the way there, his car engine backfires multiple times. He obviously doesn't think he's attacking anybody, but the blue soldiers in their camp hear the bangs and think that someone in the car that's headed for them is shooting at them. So, they return fire. The red soldier thinks they are being aggressive, so he then actually starts shooting his rifle and calls for backup. All hell breaks loose.

The problem with being autistic is that, unlike with other minorities, one can look like a majority member. And then, one is literally unknowingly oppressed by those around oneself, quite simply because they don't understand one's intentions.

Here's an Example as to why Donald Trump is fascist

Donald Trump wants Concealed Carry Reciprocity.

What is that?

In the United States, it is not automatically legal to carry a firearm in a concealed manner just because one has a firearms license. One needs to obtain a special additional permission to do so. Like most things in the United States, Concealed Carry is decided on a state-by-state basis, meaning a person's permission for Concealed Carry only applies in the state it in which it was issued.

Concealed Carry Reciprocity is the legal concept that a permission for Concealed Carry, issued in any state, applies in all states. So, if a gun owner was permitted to Concealed Carry in Oklahoma, he can currently only do so in Oklahoma. Doing it in any other state is a crime. Under Concealed Carry Reciprocity, it would not be.

What does Donald Trump intend with this?

Donald Trump knows that his most loyal followers live in deep red states, which also have the highest concentrations of gun owners. Due to the high concentrations and due to Republicans being generally against gun control, it is likelier that more gun owners in red states have Concealed Carry permission. Donald Trump wants to allow people to Concealed Carry in any state if they've received permission in one, because he knows that most people who will take advantage of this will be his most loyal followers.

Donald Trump plans to lay the groundwork for his version of Mussolini's Blackshirts and Hitler's Brownshirts, his own paramilitary force of loyal followers who are ready to attack and murder fellow citizens in open daylight for their political positions that oppose their idol. Concealed Carry Reciprocity makes it easier for them to do this.

This is fascism.

[onionpainter]

just found your blog, I think your paintings are absolutely gorgeous! I've been wondering, what draws you to work with oil paints above other mediums? I've found them very tricky to work with in the past and I'm fascinated by the depth and cleanliness you can bring to them

Hello there, thank you for asking! I’m very glad to hear you enjoy my work :) I have many reasons why I must work in oil, allow me to offer you this numbered list. I am very normal about it.

The art which I have grown up loving and aspiring to make was largely made with oil. It is my strong feeling that if you want to recreate an art style, the easiest way to achieve this is to use the same medium in the same way that the original artist made their work in. All mediums have their own idiosyncrasies and it is far more practical to use the same medium than to try to recreate the effect of one medium through another medium. I learned this the hard way trying to achieve the particular look of paint tool SAI, first through drawings coloured with water based paints, then with clip studio paint. It is better to use the same materials that your chosen art movement used if you want to work accurately in the style. I was asked once why I don’t use watercolour. I don’t use watercolour because I can’t make an oil painting out of it.

They are difficult to gain control over. This seems like a point against them, but let me tell you why this is a point in their favour for me. There was a time in my digital illustration career when I hit a very brutal plateau. I was very bored and I strongly disliked working on my commissions. Digital art had ceased to be particularly hard in terms of program handling, but my drawing skills were weak at the time. I decided I needed something properly difficult, and not having had time or space until that point to work in oil, I took it up again. Being so unpracticed and unskilled, it was very punishing, frustrating, and unrewarding, and by the end of my painting practice I would be begging to return to the relative ease of my digital work. Of course, there is only so long that I can engage with a skill before I fall into a bottomless pit of commitment.

Another point regarding difficulty and maybe more importantly, perceived difficulty. I am a highly competitive person, some might say pathologically. And since oil is often seen as the most difficult medium [although I would say, again, it is the easiest thing to make an oil painting out of] there is then less overall competition within the medium than there is in water based mediums for example. I compare this to another scenario, that of horse training. Why would a horse trainer choose to work with feral, unhandled mustangs, when you can work with a nice horse who has been handled and conditioned from foalhood? One reason is to show very high level horsemanship. If you train a mustang then you really know how to train horses. Technical difficulty can be dealt with, it is only a matter of hundreds of hours of work. Oversaturation of a niche, however, is a much more difficult problem, which is also out of my personal control. I’d rather prove myself against one oil painter than three acrylic painters.

On the topic of perceptions, oil is commonly seen as the most valuable type of painting. I’m not saying that’s a fair perception, just that it exists. Often when people think of “good paintings” the paintings they imagine are typically in oil. I’m sure we’ve all seen particularly dynamic fotografs compared to oil paintings. This has two functions for me, one, that I can make these objects of perceived value, which please and entertain. The second function of them is to legitimize myself as an artist in the eyes of the general public. Digital art is a commonly devalued and little known or cared about art form, even though so much incredible contemporary art is of digital mediums. Unless someone is already involved in digital art communities, it can be difficult for them to relate to it or even imagine what it could be, or how it is made, even though it permeates society. Digital art is seen as low art. On the other hand, the first thing that comes to mind for people when they think of art or “Fine Art” is usually oil paintings. There are significant social advantages to being able to say “I am a painter” versus the awkwardness of having to admit “I am a digital illustrator” with all of the confusion and skepticism that brings. Again, I don’t bring this up in order to champion this line of thinking, I am just saying that this perception exists.

On a technical level, there is something about oil. The textures and handling needs of the different pigments and mediums, and the physical feeling of manipulating all of it is something I cannot do without. My teacher who first introduced me to oil compared it as painting with melted butter against the feeling of painting with glue or toothpaste, which he felt about acrylic paint. This is a matter of opinion, but one I agree with. There are tactile sensations which only exist in oil, and the longer drying time allows for much more mixing on the palette. I would be furious if I spent time mixing a colour only for it to dry and become unusable within the hour.

The dangers involved, both to the art in terms of archival quality, and to myself in terms of poisoning or fire, make this medium into something that demands strict attention. Many of my materials can kill if I do not handle them correctly. To me, this immediate danger brings the specter of death from the shadows and defangs him, transforms an unknown terror into a banal familiar matter. These materials might harm me, but instead they help me and they are my dear familiar companions. My duty is just to honour and steward them well and help them fulfill their purpose, which is to please and entertain.

In terms of my recommendation of this medium to others, I would recommend it if you are the kind of person who can withstand slow progress and who wants to earn something hard. Beginnerhood typically lasts a long time with these materials, unless you are a particularly strong painter in other mediums already and have a good teacher. I wouldn’t know because I am the initially unskilled type. A warning for the initially skilled people reading this: there will come a time in your practice when your initial skills are no longer adequate for the task ahead. I suggest you learn how to work hard before you come to this point so it will be less devastating for you. Enjoy the simple struggles of your beginning, even if it may overall be very boring. Lose yourself within it. The milestones of the intermediate stage are much farther apart than those in the beginner’s fight.

With regards to your comment on cleanliness, first I thank you, that is very kind. I allow myself to work slowly and try to control my impulsivity. Speed will come with time and experience, I am content with a slow and measured process for now.

[ellysdreamworldd]

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐢 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐝𝐫❦︎

✩°｡⋆✧･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･✧⋆｡°✩

-there is a valentine's day ball, a winter themed ball before the Christmas holidays (except for the 4th year when there is the yule ball) and a summer ball at the end of the year (honestly i just wanted to wear pretty dresses as often as possible)

-i have an enchanted diary/quill that writes itself while i speak in an ink that is invisibile to everyone but me (so no one can read my secret little thoughts)

-i have an enchanted thermal brush/straightener that in literally only one pass on wet hair dries them and straightens them WITHOUT causing any heat damage so i can have a perfect 90s blowout that lasts for the whole day any time i want🤭

-i have an infinite closet. it looks normal from the outside but then on the inside there is an infinite clothing rack which literally just keeps on going with more and more clothes (since i'm going to have all my Pinterest clothes in my dr😝)

-i can play the electric guitar& i'm good at singing

-obviously i don't gain weight and i don't bloat so i can eat ANYTHING i want (the food at Hogwarts always looked soo yummy i'm literally going to live in the kitchens)

-there is a tattoo/piercing shop in Hogsmeade, cute bakeries, a vinyl shop and an enormous shopping mall.

-students can go to Hogsmeade every weekend

-you can do sleepovers in the dorms also with people from other houses

-the common rooms are MUCH bigger because there's no way you could ever have a party in that claustrophobic space

- i am immune to hearing people snoring. like when people snore the sound is just on a frequency that my ear can't perceive (i physically can't sleep if there's someone snoring)

-there is a school drama/theater club that does plays every month

-there are events in which students who play any instrument/sing can perform in a concert (i want my main character moment)

-there are movie nights in common rooms

-when it comes to tests even if i don't study i still know the answer. like the knowledge just randomly spawns in my brain as soon as i need it (i don't want to be an academic victim in yet another reality)

-the plot follows the books and not the movies ofc

- i can't forget the password for my common room no matter what

- my perfume lasts forever like i could go through the whole Hogwarts battle and fight Voldemort while still smelling like vanilla

- i don't grow body hair. absolutely not.

- i have a book (always written in an ink only i can see) which contains my script that i can update at all times

-it always snows in winter and on Christmas

-quidditch cheerleaders

✩°｡⋆✧･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･✧⋆｡°✩

[thoughtless-mindless-thoughts]

Can't tell if I have no personality or too many personalities

[kittykatninja321]

See the reason why I will always be down with the poc Jason headcanon is because I look at the way his lashing out as a grieving child gets interpreted/demonized as “anger issues”, and the way Bruce at times projected “anger issues” onto him that weren’t actually there and also immediately assumed that Jason was bound to become a dangerous criminal unless he intervened despite the fact that Jason was just trying to survive and said himself that he “didn’t wanna be a crook” and didn’t show violent inclinations until AFTER he became Robin and I go “idk, sounds kinda racialized to me buddy, hitting you with the melanin beam”. Now we know the real reason for this is classism but classism and racism are right next to each other on the periodic table so it doesn’t not fit yknow?

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

[gatheredfates]

Yes, you've hit the nail on the head for me! It's why I wanted to preface that the utilisation of mods for personal joy/accessibility is not my issue with them, and I think that people should be able to expand on character customisation—especially while SE continues to struggle with afro-textured hair (as just one example). It's the elitism around mods and the belief that if you don't have mods or don't agree with them that you're somehow 'lesser' and not worth the same amount of time as someone who sinks that level of commitment into their characters.

Let's be honest? It is a commitment, but that isn't necessarily a good thing.

When a (former) friend got hers, she got mad at me and said "I didn't know you had a photographer, I didn't give them my code" then left.

And

Another former friend said if a place has no public synchshells, she leaves.

Are endemic of a community that values aesthetic over substance; who cannot bear to have their character perceived in any way other than what they have meticulously crafted using third party tools to the detriment and exclusion of people who cannot or will not access them. Maybe it's that I'm just old(er) now? But, at least back when I wrote in WoW and text-based RP, you could slap a picture of an anime character/actor down and be like 'they look like this but with black hair and green eyes' and it was fine. You didn't need a picture at all, really, and it was STILL fine! Because it was the content of their writing, their personal character and their drive for inclusion that meant something. You could use your ~imagination~ to envision the gaps in the game engine or picture(s).

It's incredibly sad that I can walk into a room on Sarrai, someone who is very extroverted and loves to chat and include people, and be outrightly ignored and/or made to feel like I'm 'intruding' on a space because I've not been there previously (and am unknown to the group at large) or that my clothes/hair/etc. might still be vanilla. There's an irony when I'm included once people work out I run the Compendium, but it's not nice.

It's a double-edged sword for me when people tell Pepper and I they feel safe at the Fireside because we interact with people no matter their skill/mods, because it's the highest praise to know we have created a venue that is safe, but that's in direct competition to places that aren't. I don't care if you use mods or not! I have highly modded characters (El) and characters that don't have mods at all (Kor) because I'm happy with how she looks. Why should I modify her just so she fits with the crowd? It's ridiculous and needlessly gatekeep-y when roleplay is already a weird hobby to begin with. None of us are cool, guys! I promise! You're weird and it's fine actually!

The answer is there: You have to work on making spaces that are welcoming to everyone. But it also means a lot of the community has to do some introspection on why their mods matter so much within their place in the community and why everything has to be meticulously crafted and squeaky clean, otherwise people will have an aversion to you. We're roleplayers/gposers/etc. We're not companies!

I'm begging people to be more earnest and vulnerable. Anyone with half a brain will see it. You don't need to adhere to the aesthetic unless it makes you happy. We need to do more to be open, accommodating and kind to people; especially those who are limited to vanilla, writing, etc. I'm tired of writing, the tool we all use to expand on our character(s) place in the world, being undervalued.

Playerscope, modding and the hunt for aesthetic: why you should be more upset about mods and community expectations than you already are.

I love that this sounds like an academic paper but HONESTLYYYY. I need to put my thoughts to paper in regards to my burnout with xiv, otherwise I think I'll go insane. This is a controversial yet brave post. I am well aware that I partake in some of the things I'm going to be critiquing; aka, "thank you, dinklebottom, we live in a society." I'm also not critiquing mods from a space of offering more accessibility to people and/or facilitating representation not currently offered within the context of the game. There is nuance to every discussion and I'm coming at this from an overarching view around mods and community expectations/standards rather than player joy. I hope this makes sense. I'm also predominately writing from a roleplay perspective, though I'm sure a lot of what I end up saying can reflect in the art party/social space. Just know if I haven't mentioned the latter it's because that's not my scene and I don't pretend to know otherwise.

Anyway. For those who don't know, there's a new mod that's causing some strife in the xiv community called Playerscope. Here is the reddit thread about it. I'm not going to be talking too much about the mod in general because that's not the point of this post, but seeing discussion around it today just made me feel more exhausted than I already am when it comes to modding and the xiv community around it. It made me realise... I'm actually really sick to death of mods. I'm sick to death of what they're doing to the community when it comes to gatekeeping, policing and in general the interactions we have with each other in the community.

Let me explain: I wrote a post about the roleplay mod on bsky that kind of articulates at a surface level what I mean.

I think what makes me sad, which I'm sure is echoed by a lot of people, is that mods feel like the standard now rather than an option and that there's a certain expectation for people to have them if they want to engage with facets of the community—whether intentional or not.

Unlike XIV, WoW has a supported mod scene (within reason) and TRP 2 and the like have been accepted for years now. In a space where people can't slap on an RP tag, having that tool readily identifies you as a writer/roleplayer and you can include as much or as little of your character as you like. The general idea is if you have one of these tools enabled, you're a roleplayer to some capacity. You can dress up the profile to a certain degree, you can add links and supported pictures, but you're mostly reliant on what you put to paper in regards to your character. Even then, I find filling out what my character is doing currently and marking the rest as a WIP doesn't necessarily exclude me from roleplay if I want to find it. A lot of people will do that and a super simple description to incite interest around their oc.

These days in XIV... I don't know. I do think communities have gotten more insular—it's why I'm so pedantic about trying to find them for the Compendium—but I also think mods and, to a certain extent, the 'nightclub' scene have gotten in the way of it as well. My argument is such.

I want to go to an event (for example sake, I'll call it Seascape). In order to fully participate, I may need:

Their discord.

A roleplay addon.

A carrd/google site/etc.

Their synchshell (including mods, mare and everything else)

Potentially a mod of some description so people know I can see theirs (and vice versa).

Also that your mod isn't made by a shitty person.

Appropriate understanding of the scene/social space.

Some luck and a prayer that it's an inclusive space and not a closed rp group advertising as being open and/or a mod showcase advertising itself as something different.

Like??? Holy shit you guys. If you are someone who doesn't want to mod because you're worried about repercussions it really just feels like a big 'fuck you, good luck'.

And let me be clear, not every community is like this. I'm incredibly lucky to have found fantastic roleplay within my own rp event/community, I have great friends who run awesome, inclusive events for people of any skill (writing or otherwise) and I do fully believe you can just enable the rp tag and find fun, fulfilling roleplay. But I've also found the above a lot of times, too. I've had people point-blank get mad at my partner because he won't install mods and try to exclude and/or circumvent him in spaces. It's weird. I've been to events where the only time I felt like I got proper interaction(s) was when I joined the aforementioned, even if I have my character's profile linked in my about. It's weird.

Honestly, no wonder new roleplayers feel overwhelmed. Not only do they have to learn roleplay etiquette, they have to be a mod expert overnight? It feels less about what someone can bring to the table as far as a story but what mods they can install to either look cool or pass an unspoken social barrier. As much as I'm down bad for aesthetic and looking the part, I hate it being at the cost of accessibility and fun for someone else.

Arguably it's the same for gposing and the like as well, which contributes to my exhaustion alongside all the graphical changes and I just. I'm gnawing at the bars of my cage.

I don't think it's going to change and arguably it's more of a Twitter/X issue than a Tumblr, one but Tumblr lets me write mini essays and Twitter will tell me to kms.

Ergo, I'll go with the essay-writing platform.

Anyway, I guess this is just a reminder that you don't need 4596419651 mods to be in the community and that people should be more vigilant on including people who don't have them for whatever reason, provided they operate in good-faith and want to contribute. I think we're careening to a slippery slope of expectation for something unsupported and I don't like it.

[eyewyrm]

noel and identity loss...

trying to articulate why it feels wrong to call him charlie, because thats still him but at the same time not.

he's changed and things cant go back to the way they were, noel took up a new name one to remember but also to move on

i don't think noel is a fake name to him more so just a new identity he's taken up as an extension of himself. or at least someone he's rebuilt himself as after the dreamlands. i don't think he's discarded charlie as an identity but that he just has two names that are both very real to him, however just one of them is more in the forefront than the other so he'd be unused to his old name being used.

but i also think that he'd feel extremely disconnected to his old life and name that it would be uncomfortable and feel wrong for him, might feel that his past is catching up to him or maybe he'd be afraid that if he stops using noels name he'd be abandoning him in some way

or just using the name as an escape from the king in yellow who likely would've called him by his original name

i recognise this is like probably nothing at all but it is rotating in my brain and i need to get it out, i love saying shit and being completely incoherent

[somecunttookmyurl]

all the while society conflates "being an adult" with "having a proper job" and "having money to make arbitrary Adult Purchases" disabled people who can't work - or can only work part time or can only do entry level baby jobs - will never be 'allowed' to be adults

you can say "being an adult is looking after yourself you don't have to have a job!!!" all you want but most people who say that will still assume anybody who doesn't either can't or won't 'look after themselves' actually. and every 'marker' of 'adulthood' that's observable and thus actually counts or whatever loops back around to... having a job and 'contributing' something

[lilac-hecox]

Ian could hit me with a train and I'd still ask him to rail me

I feel this on a spiritual level 🙏

[torchickentacos]

do you have any pokeani fic recs for the classic vibe (read: the content is unhinged and wild)

Referencing this post- long reply but I give a few pointers in these fics' direction at the end!

I'm gonna be so honest anon, I'm not sure I want to actively rec some of them 😭 A lot of them are very of-their-time (usually 2007-2013) and, while HILARIOUS, often contain things that I really don't want to 'recommend' (homophobia, sexism, a lot of slutshaming, some REALLY out of pocket stuff that is not properly warned for, etc). OBVIOUSLY I am not reccing the yikes of things so much as the rest of it (the hilarious unhinged side), but the current fandomscape leans bad-faith and assumey and I'm just not keen to fuck around and find out tbh. Ye olde fic reccing takes a level of understanding of other time periods and attitudes and customs in fandom and on FFN that I'm... not sure that all of tumblr is always very good at tbh lol. If you guys really want me to and if we can all understand that it was a different time and that enjoyment of batshit insane fics does not equal agreement with everything said or depicted in them, then come back and I'll consider it again. But for now, I'm MORE than happy to tell you guys the best ways to find them on your own lmao. It's not hard once you get it down, and anything I'd rec, I've found through this method.

First off, FFN's search system is just frustrating imo. Between a less-than-intuitive UI and people not bothering to tag characters and ships and genres properly, using it the same way you'd filter stuff on Ao3 is a fool's errand (unless you're doing it by word count/completed/etc, which is objective and automatically tallied I think). You're better off using key words. I usually ignore the filters. The only thing I filter by is fandom at the start page (all of Pokemon is under 'games' in FFN and I don't bother narrowing it down to animeverse personally due to aforementioned mistagging or an entire lack thereof).

So, what key words do I use? When looking for that specific brand of insane campy 2000s kitschy wild unhinged stuff, I usually default to searches like "PS CS IS" (poke contest ikari, there's a lotta stuff in there, sometimes there's ORS/LGS/OS/ES/AS etc and you won't always know the acronym and it's just a surprise tbh) or trope related searches like "Assassin" or "High school" or "Vampire" other words you might find in a summary. You can also search by character names (in the search bar and not in the actual filters, which are not reliable in my experience). I'd say to go for tropes and AUs as far as keywords go. I'd ALSO say to not filter by completed, because that'll filter out a lot of two-week-passion-projects that someone dropped as soon as it got flamed, and there's some fun ones in there.

That's about it, but if you find one good fic then it's worth checking the rest of what the writer has. A lot of them have a bunch of unfinished fics and there's some hidden gems. Have a good time reading, and the search is half the fun! Come back with any funny lines you find if you want :)

[gleppy]

i wish people misunderstanding and misinterpreting my words wasnt as bad of a stress trigger for me as it is but holy fuck there are few things that make me fly off the rails more lmao

[kaisollisto]

“How long have you been here?” She prods, bumping her gently with her foot still keeping the couple of inches of distance between them. The storm had passed 20 minutes ago and Ava had insisted on exploring as much as she could before nightfall.

“Does it matter? There’s no use dwelling on the passage of time.” Beatrice can feel bitterness lingering on her tongue. It feels like rejection, it feels like Ava has peeled back the layers of Beatrice, glanced at her and decided no thanks. They’re sat on a lumpy rock, Beatrice can feel how worn it is and wonders when she started feeling the same.

Ava pauses, before bringing her gaze from the space below them to Beatrice’s eyes. “It does to me.” Ava has a soft look in her eyes that makes Beatrice want to lash out. She looks away, she doesn’t need this, whatever it may be, whatever Ava chooses to wrap under the word ‘care’.

She takes a deep breath, hoping to still her emotions of misplaced anger. It’s not like Beatrice to get emotional, but after years of isolation, she supposes it’s bound to happen. “Days, years, maybe decades, it’s been a long time.” Beatrice gazes deeply into the horizon, how many times had she wished for this, someone to share the sunset with?

Ava hums and Beatrice turns to look at her. Her face turns to the direction of where Beatrice was once looking, admiring the view. Ava’s face is illuminated by the setting sun, she doesn’t have any blemishes or bumps on her skin. Ava is probably what humans would consider perfect. Beatrice doesn’t know what to think of her, doesn’t want to dwell on it either. She knows better than anyone what that could mean for her.

“For a such a shitty planet you’ve got a nice view.” Ava quips, Beatrice isn’t quite sure what she wants her to say. So she breathes, she closes her eyes gripping the rough stone beneath them and exhales.

“Yeah,” she can feel something rise in her. It balloons from the tips of her toes and forces it’s way up her throat. It curdles on her tongue bitter tasting, everything tastes bitter to Beatrice now. She swallows hard, wallowing in the silence procured between them.

“So, you’re like a MILF or something?” Ava jokes, Beatrice misses the uneasy expression on Ava’s face when she chokes and the smile that follows.

She hacks up spit from her lungs and feels the pressure in her throat loosen, “What?” Beatrice breathes raggedly as she clears her airway. “What could have led you to believe that?”

Ava has the nerve to look sheepishly as she shrugs her shoulders to her ears, “I mean DSP9 is basically your child? And you’re, uh,” Ava flushes as she frantically waves her arms between the two of them. “Yanno, um, h- attractive for your, um species? Race? You’re just pleasing to the eye, at least my eye. But not just pleasing! You’re like plenty smart! Living here on this desolate planet with so little you must be very fit, and survival-y.” Ava trails off blushing a profuse red.

Beatrice would be more concerned if her translator wasn’t struggling to decipher the speed of her words.

[djsangos]

//who are THESE fresh squids?? (made here)

okay these guys might not get a mention on this blog for a while- if ever- so i'm gonna talk about them now bc i've been rotating them in my mind for a while

these are captain's siblings! the ones they left behind when they were 14 to run away to inkopolis. captain certainly isn't proud of leaving them behind at ALL, in fact the one thing they wish they'd done differently is taking them with them, even if it would've been damn near impossible to take care of 2 younger siblings all on their own away from home when they were already struggling to take care of themself. they have no idea how their siblings fared with their neglectful ass father after they left, but pierce (right) was only a year or 2 younger than them, so they hoped he'd be able to leave soon too- taking harper (left) with him

so yeah harper (left) i think is probably around 16 or 17 now, having been 7 or 8 when captain left. since she was pretty young she didn't really know exactly why they left, and they didn't tell her either, so i'd say she probably resents them for it. she's a hotheaded edgy teen, classic rebel, you know the deal.

and then there's pierce (right), who's around 21 or 22 now, so he would've been 12 or 13 when they left. even if they didn't say a word to him before packing their bags and hopping a train at the asscrack of dawn, he knows exactly why they did. because being a kid and not only growing up, but having to parent your 2 younger siblings in your father's place, is hard. he basically had to take on their role as caretaker of harper when they left, being the second oldest, and that's how he realized. he doesn't resent them exactly, but he does wish they'd at least said goodbye. he's an outwardly chipper guy, and puts on a brave face even at the worst of times.

and they both did eventually get out of that house- pierce didn't leave as soon as he turned 14 like captain did (though cod, he wanted to) but when harper was old enough to be left home alone he got a job and saved up what he could to get himself and his younger sister out of there. and then when harper was 12 and he was 17, he got them both out of there. they might have gone somewhere else first, but i wanna say they probably ended up in splatsville, living in an apartment together with pierce doing what he can to support harper through school, and she does some turfing herself to help with rent and save up her own money so she can get her own place eventually.

i feel like the reason they probably haven't run into captain is that captain lives in inkopolis and only really goes to splatsville to visit rookie, and the last time they saw their siblings, neither of them were fully transformed yet, and they aren't so easy to recognize anymore themself. so if they've happened to pass each other on the street, it'd take more than just a cursory glance to realize just who they're passing. so it could definitely, and likely will, happen eventually. who's to say.

[alexjcrowley]

Sooooo one of my mutuls reminded me that I love The Talented Mr. Ripley so much and I am 100% not normal about it and I just to say that the last time I rewatched it (a few months ago) I hadn't watched that movie for a long time and my only thought was "they want you to think Tom Ripley is the dangerous character but it's actually Dickie Greenleaf. Nothing can destroy your life like the nonchalance a charming person picks you up and puts you down with". And I was 100% sure of that. And then I rewatched the movie and I was like "Okay maybe Tom Ripley was the problem" but you need to understand that everytime I watch that movie it fucks with my brain and my past friendships so hard after a while I always find myself thinking "if Dickie just knew how to love Tom in the right way, none of this would have happened. It's Dickie's fault." And it's not! Tom is deeply fucked up for several reasons! But this movie fucks so hard with me pegs my brain gaslights me like an abusive boyfriend that I always end up thinking "Tom did nothing wrong. Tom did nothing wrong, if Dickie just loved him the right way. It's Dickie's fault."

I just think that people like Dickie Greenleaf can make anyone insane. I think I'd rather never knew the joy of bashing in Dickie's attention that living through the desperation of being derived of it.

[hatosaur]

umm what do you think is Actually the likelihood of ellie dying in pt3 cause I feel like its just a little Too predictable, but like.. idk!

also i feel like even if she did die (assuming its on her terms) it wouldnt b for the vaccine... she has placed too much of her worth on whether or not she can literally Save Humanity (“my life would’ve fucking mattered”) there has to be some acknowledgment of that not really being true right !!!!!

i think that the writers are competent enough to not go that route because people are just expecting more tragedy. and if they do, it would be at least be a noble death.

i really liked that in part 2, the aspect of the whole vaccine debacle is entirely a thing of the past. it was already implied that they were taking a chance, as in it wasn't guaranteed that the cure would actually work and even then, those chances were killed (literally) by joel. i don't really see any point in rehashing the cure business and think it just works better as a catalyst for ellie's trauma.

so in my opinion, the chances should be low, but who fuckin knows. abby and lev ended up at a firefly base so it's possible an effort might come from that, but i've said in a previous post that it was just be squandered potential for them to kill ellie off because it would defeat a lot of their messaging regarding searching for purpose and breaking the cycle of violence and yada yada yada. dying a gruesome death like joel would be a step in the wrong direction because she broke the cycle so why would she end up like joel? how does it make sense to the narrative?

more likely, i can see either a noble sacrifice for someone else's sake as retribution (if that happens and it's dina and/or jj that it's for, i Will cry), and or a tommy-esque bait and switch.

regardless of the previous point, with the direction of the series (first game having an upward arc, second game having a downward arc), i think it should end on a high emotional note with ellie alive and able to live on for the rest of her days. THAT feels correct but you never know.