#like am i going to look at every interaction they had in the earlier seasons differently now?

[multifandomangel]

yesterday i saw an edit of early seasons hotch and jj to the song “teacher’s pet” by melanie martinez and… i don’t know how i feel about it… like am i mildly interested in this ship now? maybe… BUT IT FEELS WRONG CAUSE THE EDIT THAT GOT ME ONTO IT WAS LITERALLY TO A SONG ABOUT A SUPER MANIPULATIVE AGE GAP RELATIONSHIP

[lemotmo]

Okay I'm going to partially tell on myself. I am new, as in the Buck/T kiss showed up all over my dash, as did all of Oliver's interviews and I just thought he was the yummiest most delightful human being I had ever seen and heard (my god is accent is heaven) new. And I thought that first kiss was really well done. It was a great scene. Now, that being said, I didn'twant to jump into a show that was seven seasons into the story with zero context, except the stuff I had been seeing on my dash for years. So I started from the beginning, with the full intent and excitement of getting to T in season 7. Imagine my surprise when he popped up occasionally in earlier seasons. His only good part was when we were supposed to believe that Chim could lift him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, haha. That was great.

Anyway by the time I made it to season 7, it was too late. I had just watched 5 seasons of Buck and Eddie. There was zero room for T to compete on any level. Which is why the behavior of some is so confusing to me. Let me say first that I do not think the show always intended to put Buck and Eddie together, I don't think that's been the intention since the beginning. There is however a very good case to make that Eddie's introduction was Buck's actual Bi bell ringing moment though (*what a man plays in the background*). I do however agree that the writing has trended, increasingly so, in that direction. The writers do not hold all the blame however, Oliver and Ryan have kind of acted them into a corner. There are several scenes, multiple scenes, where the acting choices the two of them made were interesting, to say the least (looking at you 'go for the title' kitchen scene I love. Buck was flirting on every possible level in that scene).

Sorry, I got off track, back to my point. The people like me, who came in after the kiss popped up everywhere, being all in on T is somewhat fine. The problem would be the ones who are deliberately refusing to go back and watch the entire series before pontificating on B/T being destiny and all that other nonsense. There is an argument to be made that they're avoiding it because they know most of the history dismantles their current ship fixation. So as a result those people can be easily dismissed because they have zero context to any of their opinions. The ones who were with you all for 5 seasons though, yes I've seen their posts, who lost their shit over 2 pairs of lips touching, is what I cannot wrap my brain around. I completely understand the excitement behind that first kiss. It was a much anticipated moment for BUCK. He was the important person in that scene.

But confusing, or deliberately misinterpreting, Buck's revelation and sigh of relief at finally figuring out something pretty significant about himself, as being about him finding T is a gymnastics act I did not expect to see from so many long haulers. I mean, it should be obvious but T wasn't important in that scene. His gender was what was important. Which is why they have barely bothered to show him since that episode. And the interactions they have shown, minus the hospital kiss, that they made sure to show Eddie's reaction to btw, have all been red flag scenes. Little things that show this relationship isn't really that different from his previous relationships. Buck may have figured out the gender part but he's still making the same relationship mistakes. It's why the few scenes they've had together, and it's the bare minimum of effort, have been about Buck trying to initiate some level of communication and emotional connection and him being dismissed or having it turned into a daddy kink joke. I also think Oliver's enthusiasm dipped drastically by the end and it showed.

Which brings me to Eddie. The show, and more so, Oliver and Ryan have already done the hard part. The emotional connection, which is way more difficult to pull off than a physical connection, is already there. Their chemistry is already established.They're partners in every way but physically. As a result it is not a huge character leap to eventually bring a physical relationship into it as well. That will not be a shocking character development for either character. It goes back to the way the two have been written and they way Oliver and Ryan have interrupted those scenes. I won't touch their interviews because I think it's pretty clear, at this point, they seem to agree it's the way to go. There's more story to explore with them learning how to navigate an actual relationship than there is in bringing in other, lesser characters, to firstly try to compete with that connection, and then try to establish endgame status. I don't know. It's not about any two pairs of lips touching it's about the right two pairs of lips touching. Because when it's the right couple the characters get that sigh and exhale of finally! But the audience gets their sigh and exhale of finally as well. That is the point.

Sorry this got looooong 🤣

Ooooh Nonny, you speak right to my heart.

First of all, thank you for going back all the way to season 1 to actually sit down and watch the show. We aren't just making up Buddie. It has been there since the beginning. I'm so glad you got to witness their beautiful history together and that you realised just how right they are for each other.

I can't speak for the people who suddenly turned 180° and dropped Buddie for BT. I have been shipping Buddie from season 2, so I don't understand their reasoning or motivation either. It like you said so beautifully:

"It's not about any two pairs of lips touching. It's about the right two pairs of lips touching."

And that is what it comes down to. We can be content with a lackluster, meaningless relationship for queer rep. Or we can be exhilerated with an amazingly complex and years in the making relationship, which will be so much better for queer rep. It will be revolutionary in so many ways to make a slow burn queer ship canon.

(Before anyone comes at me for talking about queer rep. I have slowly been figuring myself out over the last couple of years and, looking back at my life and relationships, I've come to realise that I definitely belong somewhere on the ace spectrum. Not sure where exactly, I'm still searching for the right label, but it feels right to me. This is actually the first time I said this on a public forum for people to read. Kinda scary to be honest.)

I know what I would choose for myself if I was faced with these two options. Why wouldn't we automatically choose this for Buck and Eddie as well? It's mind-boggling really.

So yeah: queer Eddie and Buddie canon in season 8! All the way!

Don't apologise for your great post. I loved reading it. Feel welcome to drop in whenever you want. :)

[eddiediazismyhusband]

hey everyone

just getting on here to have a conversation about some things that i need to clear up.

so for starters, i’m going to come right out and say that i’m taking a break from tumblr… lately i have been subjected to seeing multiple thinly veiled posts about me floating around and i cannot sit by and allow myself to be treated like that

that being said, i am taking this break to focus on my mental health; 911 used to be a comfort show to me- somewhere i could just go to and watch whenever i needed to be picked up, because even if the show was still forcing certain storylines/arcs, they at least made some sense for the characters and didn’t rely on completely rewriting and ignoring their history within the narrative.

911 is no longer that for me anymore. tim minear and the writing team have ruined any and all enjoyment i got from earlier seasons due to continuing KR’s trend of completely retconning the narrative while simultaneously blatantly dragging us along by dangling buddie canon over our heads with a stick only to immediately snatch it away at the last second.

today’s “first look” article only further confirmed my suspicions that tim had no intentions of leading to buddie canon.

i see the takes/theories about what the article could mean, but we have made theories such as this every year only for it to not go anywhere; nothing had indicated that s8 will be any different.

for starters, tim is bringing back a known problematic actor to play a problematic character that tim continues to retcon, despite the fandom being outspoken about how insane this is. instead of listening to the fandom, instead he has them continuing to develop their chemistry-less relationship saying that they are going strong.

secondarily, tim wrote out a beloved poc character in order to keep this problematic character around- something that i think the fandom has moved on from a little too quickly

thirdly, we continue to be told that eddie will be making progress each season, yet we never actually see that progress happen, and if we do, never in a way that is actually in character; on top of that, we have fans begging for his character to be ruined simply so that his character arc will be sexualized due to it involving two conventionally attractive men.

this fandom no longer feels like a safe space for me mentally and i hate that… i am devastated at the thought of no longer interacting with my mutuals, but i cannot engage with content that showcases the real-time decline of a show i used to adore before the creators decided to ruin that enjoyment.

so i am taking a bit of my break; i dont know how long nor how permanent of a break this is, but i need to put my mental health first.

until next time (whenever that may be)

[technicalthinker]

I feel like debating who Loki was talking to when he said "For You" in the last episode, is missing the point of the scene. And people referring to it as "cowardly" and a "no-homo" moment is just?? Baffling to me tbh because like;

First of all, it is obviously intended to be to both of them? If they only wanted to make it about Sylvie, Mobius wouldn't be there. If they only wanted to make it about Mobius, Sylvie wouldn't be there. If they wanted to make it about everyone they would've just framed it more equally, he does do it for all his friends ("for all of us"), but they have that scene to highlight these two specific relationships. The framing is quite clear, they have him take a last look at all of his friends before going down the stairs, but Mobius and Sylvie runs after him to have a final significant moment.

Which absolutely makes sense and is consistent with the show we have seen so far, s1 and s2 combined, which is what I love about it. And it was to be honest a surprise! Going into this season, I had little hope for Loki/Mobius interactions, just didn't want to expect too much since S1 had a lot of their connection, but that could've been it. I was shocked when s2ep1 was full to the brim with Loki and Mobius scenes? And then they kept reinforcing every week that they care about each other, is a funny duo to watch, and are important to one another.

And despite this, I expected the rug to at some point be pulled, especially compared to Loki's relationship to Sylvie. No matter people's personal viewing on the show, she is still cited as a love interest by showrunners and is just portrayed as that by the narrative a lot of the time. Sidelining that, even in s2 when the romantic hints are more vague, she's still a very important person in Loki's life. She played a central part of the plot and Loki's own character development of understanding himself.

So to me, I was surprised seeing Mobius and Sylvie side by side in the end. Both being framed as The important people in Loki's life. Then, however you wanna see in what ways they are important is up to you, but they are the people he keeps coming back to for advice and self-reflection. You can frame it as "oh it should've been only been Mobius and they added Sylvie to downplay it", which, I just disagree with (If they wanted to go for explicitly canon Lokius they needed to set that up even more earlier in the season but that's a post for another day). Sylvie is still like, a constant in the narrative and driving force of s1, even if s2 changes things around a bit, and imo it would be inconsistent if she just vanished here. I guess I am used to media that downplays a meaningful dynamic between two dudes in more aggressive ways, which they absolutely could've done, and would've taken me out of the story to be honest... but they didn't, Mobius and Sylvie got to be side by side in the end and that imo validated the Loki/Mobius dynamic way more than downplays it.

TLDR; The "For you" was for both Mobius and Sylvie because why would you frame it that way otherwise, and having them side by side like that validates Lokius way more than downplays it in a "no-homo" way considering the full context of the show.

[stars-n-spice]

Thoughts on s3 ep 12!

Ooh boy, finally got the chance to watch this baby, y'know how it goes: spoilers and inconsistent, incoherent screaming under the cut-

Ayo when the FUCK are we going to get a Clone X reveal HUH???

TANTISS BASE I HATE YOUR UGLY ASS OHHH MY GOD

Emerie seeing Omega again :(

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you're safe" - "Am I?" FUCK

PUTTING OMEGA IN THE VAULT?? okay but I want to see her interact with all the other kiddos :(

Emerie is so going to do something to help the kids and I'm so scared it'll end with her sacrifice

THEY STILL HAVEN'T EXPLAINED LIKE,, EMERIE AS A WHOLE LIKE, HELLO??

SO MANY QUESTIONS?? SO LITTLE EPISODES LEFT???

Hemlock I hope you choke

EUUGHHEHH so happy they didn't time skip so upset that they didn't show us the conversation Crosshair had to have with Wrecker and Hunter about what happened to Omega but like,, I'm disappointed but not surprised

The angst potential and then it was just,,, Wrecker being grumpy and Hunter being like, "okay, well let's just move on and figure something out"

I mean, I guess I'm happy they aren't fighting or whatever but still

fuck,, Crosshair's hands,,, I was just waiting for one of them to like,, grab them or something like,,

Crosshair not telling them he knew somewhat how to get to the base because he's terrified of going back

baby what the FUCK did they do to you there???

aaahh,, that whole conversation was painful

ALSO IS IT JUST ME OR IS HUNTER GETTING SMALLER??

Every time he's in frame with his brothers he seems to shrink?? Like after this episode I went back to watch random clips from the earlier seasons in Korean and Hunter didn't look as small/short as he does now???

Tell me I'm not going crazy,, I swear this man gets shorter everytime I see him and his waist gets skinnier

PHEE AND CROSSHAIR INTERACTION FINALLY!!!

"Sparkling personality" IM-

HEY THOSE HIDDEN PASSAGES WOULD'VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW ABOUT FUCKING LIKE,, THREE EPISODES AGO!!!!!

waauughhh I love Phee's ship,, the colors the shapes,, it's like a little fishy or something,, fucking love it

FUCKIN ADMIRAL RAMPART!?!?!? i was not expecting that

Burst out laughing when they showed his face though,, and for some reason I thought he looked like Jordan Klepper

Was absolutely cracking up over all the interactions between Rampart and the boys,, fucking,, manhandling him like a rag doll?? The banter between him and Cross? fucking gold

PHEE'S PILOTING??? OMG - Hera would've loved it

Also love how she gave them like,,, zero warning,, not even a "Hey, you might wanna strap in" I love her

I love Phee I love her I love her I love her

My jaw was like,, on the floor the entire time they were in that transport,, the fucking animation,, the action,, all of it aaggghh

Even my mom's cat who is an absolute menace stopped biting me for once to sit and watch that whole scene

"Wrecker, remember plan 55?" - "*silence* OH yeah!!" - WRECKER MI VIDA

wonder what the fuck Rampart is yapping about

I MISS ECHO SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK

BRING HIM BACK WE'VE GOT LIKE. WHAT?? THREE EPISODES?? FOUR EPISODES LEFT??? AND HE'S HAD LIKE LESS THAN TEN MINUTES OF SCREEN TIME??? FCKING HELL WHAT THE FUCK I'M AAGUUGHHHH

this episode wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be and idk if that was a good thing or not

Disappointed, yet not surprised, but I still had fun <- could literally be applied to a lot of TBB episodes

but like,,

auughhhhhhh

I can't believe it's almost over

[most-canon-non-canon-ship-poll]

they're toxic + mike is gay and in denial

Why Mileven is shit - a submission-based essay, part 1/3

Mileven - a currently canon het ship from the Stranger Things fandom between Michael (Mike) Wheeler and Jane (Eleven) Ives/Hopper/Byers/IDK

12 years old girl raised in a lab is thrown in a relationship with the first boy she ever meets. They constantly fight, lie to each other and develop a unhealthy co-dependent bond. The boy has a close ambiguous relationship with his male best friend which leads a good part of the fandom thinking that he is actually gay. People who stan this ship constantly throw homophobic slurs to this male best friend and some even argue that they hope he dies of AIDS next season

Where do I even begin. I do not care what anyone says the chemistry is not there. Another cog in the Should Have Never Been Written As A Couple machine. What made them cute in earlier seasons was their platonic dynamic and Mike's kindhearted nature to help her. It is hilarious this is apparently their "flagship" and "main" couple when they have the least amount of chemistry and the poorest written out of the others. They are not their best selves together, not only hurting themselves, but the people around them. Mostly Will, which is clear as day in Season 4. At the end of Season 4 I am so to the nth tired of the same shit different shovel with them. I am probably too gay to see The Vision fans of them see, but I do have eyes and it looks to me like they've been slowly crumbling. There is no foundation for their relationship they were barley friends a week before Mike kissed her and then she vanished for a year. They maybe had a little bit of interaction between closing the Gate and Snow Ball. Kissed again. Then spent all summer making out and ditching their friends until El comically broke up with him. Their relationship is exhausting to watch. The drama eats up too much screen time. I am tired of watching them hurting themselves staying together. There is no meaningful conversations since maybe Season 2. In Season 4 what could have been one ended poorly and the other interrupted comically. They've dragged out the Mike saying "I love you" story line, seemingly concluding it while El was being strangled in a Mind Scape trying to save Max who was also in said Mind Scape being slowly to tortured to death. Said confession prompted by using Will's own veiled confession disguised as El's an episode earlier. Plus Will using his own words to encourage Mike to help her. He did to help her, but that was painful to watch there was so much going on! Then they expect me to believe they're better than ever afterwards when there is nothing to indicate that? I need them to break up please free them. Free me. I am over it bro.

My propaganda is *drum roll*. Season 4. That's it. I am putting faith in the other haters to submit something coherent. I do not have the energy unfortunately. It is shit now, but would be even more shit if they finish the show endgame. I do not care about them. I want focus on the supernatural plot!! I want focus on characters and conversations that don't revolve around or circle to their relationship! I don't want to see another character to become a mouth peice for Opening Their Eyes and What Really Matters and they'll "Work out." I am exhausted of third parties putting more effort into Mileven than Mike and El themselves. I want them to be their own people because they come off miserable together. They both vocalize their pain and no one that ships them cares! I have never in my years of watching shows have seen such a terrible,boring and annoying couple championed as much as Mileven. Every other canon couple in the show is miles better, yet are over shadowed. They are holding together by Elmer's glue and popsicle sticks. Them being boyfriend and girlfriend means nothing to me when the chemistry is not there. Final propaganda- Most of the more vocal fans are homophobic and go out of their way to harass others.

Two incredibly written characters that have so much potential outside of a relationship. seriously their relationship is absolutely erasing all and any personality that the show gave them separately. That and they're just incredibly toxic, el literally met mike almost first thing after living in a lab her entire life, she has no reason to start a romantic relationship, especially at that age. mike is also super insecure, and using el's love towards him to ease said insecurities. incredibly unhealthy on both sides how this became the main ship of the show absolutely BAFFLES the fuck out of me

[purpledaisiesthings]

CAMERON VO AND SCOTT FORRESTER

Warning: I deeply apologize for all the bad quality GIFs you're about to see.

Ok, so I do understand Scott had a thing with Kellet (and they're probably gonna bring up that storyline again 😒), but tbh I'm not really a fan. I'm not big on off-screen romance development and theirs was developed off screen🤷🏾‍♀️ plus honestly I just like seeing Scott and Cam together on my screen Lol 😄 (they're hot 🤭). I'm always glued to the screen when they show up.

Also, Raines and Vo are cute but I'm also not a fan. Sorry 😬

Anyways, the moment these characters were introduced I saw something there. They had an immediate chemistry that set the tone of their future interactions. They butted heads in the beginning. Then he disregarded the advice of her previous FBI superior and kept Vo in the team. In that first episode, I already learned so much about Scott's character and his leadership of the team because of his interactions with Vo. And as the episodes came, we saw more of the depth of their scenes/interactions together and how much similar they actually are.

I definitely harbored (and still do harbor) a desire for them to get together romantically, but it was just me in my shipper heart having my usual shipping delusions. It wasn't until S01E16 that I feel like my shipping of them was validated. I don't care what anyone says, that was a Vo/Forrester ship episode Lol 😄

That episode was a Vo centered episode.

It was an episode where Vo was dragged into a case by an old friend Nick who she later found out to be involved in the very crime they were investigating.

Now, Vo was obviously questioned and had given all the info she could on this guy. But Scott still chose to ask again which ok, it makes sense as he is her boss.

But then he chooses to ask her again. This time, he asks directly if she had a romantic relationship with Nick. Again, I guess since he's her boss he would need every single info on their connection in order to determine if she's compromised. Right? I get it.

Side note: After asking her, he moves closer to her (2nd gif) and then that stare down he gave her (3rd gif)? ooof...that was hot sorry 🔥

Earlier in that episode he was telling Raines that he didn't have to trust Nick because he trusted Vo. But then what did he do again? He's talking to Nick this time and tries to get info on whether or not him and Vo had dated, even after Vo had told him nothing like that happened. Bare in mind that Vo already discussed Nick with him three times. THREE times.

Too much? Just to know if Vo was romantically involved with this dude? If he wanted to know if Vo was compromised with Nick, aren't there other reasons aside romance that she would be. Like maybe she's returning a favor. The funny thing is Vo had actually mentioned earlier that she owed him a favor because he's saved her a few times in the past. I mean, that would also be a good enough reason for Forrester to follow up on if he actually thought she was compromised. If she feels she owes him, she might also feel obligated to cover up for him, right?

I thought this was all so suspicious 🤔. That episode definitely solidified my shipping for them. Also, I'm sorry but the storyline for Vo and Forrester being together will be so much more interesting. I'm not even going to dive into that discussion and the different romantic tropes that could come from that lol.

Bonus GIF from the episode: their stares.

Look at the first GIF below, and just watch how Forrester watches her get up and follows her with his head as she walks out 😆. Then the second with them staring at eachother just oozing hotness 🔥😜

I must admit I haven't caught up to the latest episodes from season 2, but I do know there's a new character that has joined the team, Damien Powell. He happens to be an old friend of Scott's and also Vo's new love interest. I don't think Scott knows about them hooking up yet but I am very curious to see his reaction to this in season 3. Hoping I would get some sort of concern from his end. But at the very least, I should get a scene with just them two talking about it.

Can't change my mind, these two should be together.

Again, I am sorry for the bad GIF quality. I tried Lol.

[sporksaber]

I really like the idea of korra running away earlier than she does in the show, but first, I want to talk about how fucked her situation kinda is.

[I'm going only off season 1, I don't like 3 or 4. Just wasnt my thing. I am going to bring up the red lotus stuff tho]

First off, when the white lotus show up to see if she's the avatar they are 100% looking down on her family. They seemed like they disliked being in the southern water tribe at all, and like they were completely dismissive of the idea that the avatar would be there.

Korra is then taken from her parents and confined in a fortress far away from away of the villages (as you can see when she goes on the run with nala and how far away the mountains are) [headcannons further down]. She can only leave with permission and there isn't anywhere for her to go if she wanted to leave.

They bring in bending masters to teach her, and talk up the importance of who she is. She has to stay because it's her duty, just as it's their duty to protect her. She is the avatar, that's her entire being.

Headcanon time

1. The fortress would've taken time to construct, but not long enough that korra could of moved there for training once she got older. This is proven bc the first kidnapping attempt by the red lotus happened 13 years before the events of book 3, so korra would still be 4. So either A) they forced her to go as soon as it was constructed, or B) they convinced Korra it was her duty (it's very easy to manipulate an excited 4 year old) and had her convince her parents to let her go.

2. The white lotus were always very cold to korra. She was a very energetic kid who did not match who they wanted to be and they hated it. And, much like teachers who hated when students got perfect scores despite not paying attention in class, they weren't happy when she excelled at every bending test they threw her way.

3. Sokka and zuko hung around for awhile after she was first discovered and katara was called to be her teacher. Korra really liked them, but they were always kind of off around her. But following sokka's death shortly after the battle with the red lotus, Zuko no longer came by.

4. Katara was an amazing teacher. She had taught hundreds of students and knew just how to cater to Korea's needs. The red lotus didn't like how lenient she was. Eventually, to try and prove that katara was not teaching the right way, they told her to teach korra healing. They didnt think she'd be able to as she'd never shown any spiritual aptitude. But korra still excelled. After that, they decided she didnt need any further water bending training.

^everything above is I think two years old.

A note on number 3, this would've been when korra was 4, so she doesn't really remember it. Nor does she really remember anything before being discovered as the avatar.

I really do think a lot of korra's aggression can be explained by the white lotus basically trying to make her "learn her place" and making her training more and more forceful.

Also, I think korra should have been wierder. Besides maybe some guards, no one around her is her age and she's never had a friend before. Like, they really couldn't have even arranged for her to meet with her cousins? Just completely cut off her interaction with everyone but her teachers, I wouldn't be surprised if the guards weren't actually allowed to talk to her.

[monzamash]

just don’t understand why u keep saying you’ve gone off daniel because of ‘what he said/did earlier in the season’ yet ur perfectly happy to write for lando who also made questionable comments idk just feels hypocritical. what made landos comments ok but daniels so horrid lol it makes no sense 👍 if u want to be a daniel hater just come out and say it instead of being all coy about it and pretending like ur not being weird about it cause u say u won’t write for him and then u update ur layout and put up a picture of it lmao so which is it

i don’t know if this is the same anon that’s been sending me shit every second day for months about this - i’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say it’s not because of the way you’ve typed this out but the message is still the same and this is the last straw.

i don’t hate daniel. if you look at my last post i said that he’s a big part of why i fell in love with f1. he was also the reason i started this blog so just because i’m not writing for him now, doesn’t mean i hate him. it’s not as black and white for me as it seems to be for you.

writing doesn’t define my blog - its something i do when i feel like it and most of the time i’m either chatting with you guys on here or supporting other writers. it was a fun escape but lately it’s been the opposite of that.

people may not like this but in my opinion daniels comments were significantly more damaging than landos vague response to a question that nobody could factually corroborate. i don’t think i’m alone in thinking that. daniel straight up said the one thing i personally hate the most when someone’s defending an abuser which is, “well [insert name] has always been good to me so…” that’s what upset me the most and now i have no desire to write for him. that is simply how i feel and if you don’t agree/understand, it’s all good. try and find other blogs who do share your views. makes life a lot easier.

anyway, did daniels comments make me want to erase every trace of him from my blog? no but i made it clear that i wouldn’t be writing for him for the foreseeable future and if anything changed, i would give people the heads up. what i absolutely won’t be doing is caving in to bullies who hide behind a shadow on the fucking internet who say i that i should delete my blog and myself while i’m at it.

so the context of why i made a header with daniel in it was that i thought including him would allow people the chance to bounce if they don’t want to read any daniel fics or interact with a blog that had a lot of daniel content in the past - people hate him and have made sure to tell me how fucked i am to still have his fics in my masterlist. thats the sort of hate that really gets to me because i’m so proud of some of those fics and spent a lot of time on them. that’s one reason why I won’t ever delete them but it’s also because there are daniel fans out there who hopefully feel like they can still interact with me even if we don’t share the exact same opinion. i don’t want that to change.

another thing to note is that this header was up for like two seconds and the fact you saw it must mean you’re just stalking my page? are you checking in to call me out the second i do something wrong? and you think i’m weird? alright lol

lastly, saying i’m being coy and weird isn’t fair - i’ve been honest about where i stand and even when i’ve been unsure, i was still being upfront and owning the fact that i didn’t know what direction this blog would take after all that. so if what i’ve said in this post or in the past isn’t enough for you, then just leave please. literally leave me alone because i don’t want to do this anymore.

[midnightpillsnacking]

[Loulou*di S3V2 L 3-9] Hana-Doll 3rd Season THINK OF ME:ARK Translation

Translation below the cut. Google Drive link | Listen to the album on Spotify

Project Archive: L 3-9

Setsuna: Hey, what did the situation earlier mean? Do you know?

Rui: It’s nothing to concern yourself over.

Setsuna: I’m curious. After all–

Rui: That was just an impulse from the mention of Anthos*.

Setsuna: But…

Rui: Ageha speaks the truth. The flower is not much of an outside threat even during the window when it is at its most potent. Furthermore, internal wounds are barely noticeable when the situation is stable.

Setsuna: Internal…wounds?

Rui: Take care that you head off in the right direction. But that aside, the tea must have scalded you earlier on.

Setsuna: Not at all. Anyway, Mahiro–

Rui: That conversation ends here.

Setsuna: …

Rui: There’s no need for you to mention Yuuki Mahiro the next time you see Ageha.

Setsuna: Is it okay to break my promise with Ageha then?

Rui: Why did you even make such a promise with Ageha in the first place?

Setsuna: Hm? ‘Why’?

Rui: You’re not plotting something with Ageha, are you? As far as I know, you two had no interaction when we were at the training academy.

Setsuna: Are promises something you only make with people you’re close with?

Rui: Considering the risks, the question is why would you make a promise with someone you don’t know and what can you hope to gain from it? It’s beyond my comprehension.

Setsuna: Risk?

Rui: You let slip a job that has yet to be publicly announced. If anybody knew that word of it reached Ageha, you’ll be first one to be suspected by Anthos*. Are you okay being branded a traitor?

Setsuna: A traitor? Will Mahiro doubt me?

Rui: Likely.

Setsuna: I don’t want that.

Rui: That’s why I’m telling you to stop.

Setsuna: Okay, I understand. Thanks.

Rui: No need to thank me.

Setsuna: Huh?

Rui: ?

Setsuna: Just now, you looked just like him. Like Ryoga.

Rui: Kagekawa Ryoga?

Setsuna: Your aura is a little similar to his. When I talk about Mahiro to Ryoga, he makes a face like he’s kind of irritated.

Rui: I… don’t really care about Yuuki Mahiro, or Anthos* for that matter. Besides… (winces)

Setsuna: What’s the matter?

Rui: No, it’s nothing.

Setsuna: Hmm… Then, I’ll be going.

Rui: Setsuna.

Setsuna: I didn’t get burned so I’m okay. Bye-bye.

(Setsuna leaves.)

Rui: (winces in pain) What is this…? I don’t care about Anthos*, yet… why do I…

(Sound of a device being activated.)

Staff Member A: Medical team. What’s the–

Rui: Why was Yashiro Setsuna here?

Staff Member A: …The notification didn’t arrive on time. I apologize for the inconvenience.

Rui: Please answer my question. Why was he here?

Staff Member A: I apologize.

Rui: The application for all personnel to be vacated should have been accepted.

Staff Member A: You’re right.

Rui: Then why?

Staff Member A: I will explain shortly. Please calm down. He sometimes is allowed to be away from the facility as part of his retreat. His cultivation programme is different from the other members.

Rui: In other words, he’s more of a guest than we are.

Staff Member A: We made sure that his schedule wouldn’t allow him a chance to meet you. Apologies.

Rui: He mentioned that he came for maintenance that was scheduled earlier than usual. Does that have something to do with Anthos*’ appearance on Dream Drama Festa?

Staff Member A: Yes, we were doing some adjustments for his condition.

Rui: My understanding is that Dream Drama Festival is traditionally held every year outdoors. Am I correct?

Staff Member A: Yes.

Rui: For the sake of clarity, how about Loulou*di’s offer?

Staff Member A: For the time being, none has been made.

Rui: It would be better to have an understanding with a head start.

Staff Member A: We have not received any information in detail since yesterday.

Rui: Understood, doctor. Thank you.

Staff Member A: Don’t mention it. On another note, has he given you any trouble lately?

Rui: Not particularly.

Staff Member A: Then, has anything happened the past few days that has caused you distress?

Rui: Why do you ask?

Staff Member A: The medical research team has been carefully monitoring your brain waves. 

Rui: I think I heard about that being possible through the seed implanted in the body.

Staff Member A: Exactly. Over the past few days, your ERP[1] has been showing waveforms that have not been observed until now.

Rui: That’s…

Staff Member A: ERPs are thought to halve when facing inhibitory stimuli and secondary stimuli. The measurements recorded from the seed are still somewhat of a mystery to unpack, and with the possibility of noise…

Toki: (in the distance) Rui-san?

Rui: Toki-bou.

Toki: Oh, there you are. I thought I heard you talking. What are you doing here? …Who is this?

Rui: A member of the emergency staff from the medical facility.

Toki: Oh. One of those people butting in just because I’ve been complaining that I haven’t been feeling so good lately, right?

Staff Member A: As mentioned, you appear to be doing well.

Toki: But of course. Rui-san and Ageha-san are with me here, after all. Right, Rui-san?

Ageha: Just what are you all gathering here for?

Toki: Ageha-san!

Ageha: I leave for a minute and come back to this… (to the staff member) Hello, thank you for your hard work. 

Staff Member A: You look like you’re in high spirits as well.

Ageha: Thank you. It wouldn’t have been possible without such a serene environment.

Staff Member A: About… Yashiro Setsuna’s case–

Ageha: I don’t really understand what’s the point of this meeting, but could we just end the correspondence once and for all? Actually, this is the first time the three of us have seen each other today.

Toki: Exactly. We finally got to get together, so please don’t get in our way.

Ageha: I was just thinking about enjoying some precious time with this modest happy few.

Staff Member A: Heard loud and clear. We hope for nothing less than the best for both your body and mind.

Ageha: Thank you very much. Then, please excuse us. 

(Ageha ends the call.) 

Ageha: (sighs) Seriously. Those fools from the research facility… How many times must I tell them to stay out of this?

Toki: They don’t even respect Ageha-san’s instructions. They should all just be sacked.

Ageha: You’re being lively as always today.

Toki: Right? It’s ‘cuz I took a nap and rested up a lot!

Ageha: Mm. It’s good that you’re following instructions.

Toki: (giggles) 

Ageha: If you’re well enough for it, let’s go have a meal. Go and change.

Toki: Okay!

Ageha: Rui bought some souvenirs this afternoon. The sweet things are what you requested, right?

Toki: You managed to buy them? Yay! …Rui-san?

Ageha: Rui.

Rui: … Sorry, did you say something?

Toki: Ageha-san said you bought souvenirs for me.

Rui: Ah, of course. Cake, pudding and macaroons, right?

Toki: Eh? All of them?

Rui: I wasn’t sure which would be the best choice. I couldn’t pick just one. Do you not want all of them?

Toki: I’ll eat everything! Rui-san, I love you!

Ageha: Toki, before that, go freshen up.

Toki: Got it, I’ll go change my clothes now! (leaves)

Ageha: Let’s head back to the living room. 

Rui: Ageha.

Ageha: I don’t need an explanation or excuses. I knew you were sneaking behind my back and talking with the medical research team. For now, just focus on humoring Toki. I’ll take responsibility for–

Rui: Ageha!

Ageha: What’s with that face?

Rui: Right back at you. Why are you looking at me like that?

Ageha: Ah. Unfortunately, I can’t see my own face without a mirror.

Rui: Ageha would never turn around for me. He would move forward even if it meant trampling me. He wouldn’t normally cross paths with me, much less turn my way. Up until now, there wasn’t a single time when those things–

Ageha: You… Do you really want to be stepped on so badly? You truly are a freak. Listen well, Rui. This isn’t reality. It’s the inside of an ephemeral dream.

Rui: Ageha…

Ageha: It won’t be long before we will leave. We have to take up our responsibilities as Loulou*di. But now… in this moment, we’re inside a special dream. Peering from inside an isolated illusion. This is a nice, relaxing dream.

Rui: Stop it.

Ageha: Listening to the sound of the wind, feeling the ebbs and flows of an invisible stream… In the arts, such a serene feeling would be poured into music, written onto a music sheet with the heart still weighing heavy. If I think about all the smiles the sound I create will bring, I believe that even now, I will be able to leave behind my greatest song. There won’t be a second for–

Rui: Ageha!

Ageha: (sighs) Your wish will surely be granted soon. I will disgracefully flail and struggle to breathe, and then finally die. My body will cease as a beautiful corpse, mounted on a magnificent frame, and placed as a grave marker[2]. That’s what you want to see, isn’t it?

Rui: That’s…

Ageha: I will wait for that day. This must have been the path Chihiro sprinted on.

Toki: Ageha-san, Rui-san! Let’s have tea!

Ageha: Let’s go, Rui.

Translator’s Notes:

ERP likely refers to ’Event-related potential’.

Ageha’s word of this album is ‘bohyou (墓標, meaning gravestone)/bouhyou (妄評, meaning unfair criticism)’. Unfortunately I was unable to discern which is which between this drama track and the previous one where he mentions it again in his long monologue in the art museum. I don’t believe the context changes a lot but I thought it was important to highlight this recurring word used.

[incarnateirony]

So, there's been something I've wondered about for a couple years now, and even more so since stalking your blog pretty heavily for the last few weeks and reading lots of old posts.

Something obviously shifted in Jensen's view of Destiel a few years back, it was a wildly noticable change. You said during 15x18 filming, which I am totally clear on, and also something earlier having to do with TAW (and maybe Mark P?)? I don't know much about that, not sure I want to.

But the point is, now that Jensen gets it, do you think he regrets any of his previous brushing off/gruffness/annoyance at the DeanCas stuff?

I just--some of his earlier behavior (2017 and earlier) was frustrating and I'm never quite sure what to believe. Jackles long con? Was he Heston'ed?

Of course he's always been entitled to his own opinion, but now that his opinion has changed, do you think he understands why some fans got upset?

(Sorry to go anonymous with this, I'm genuinely just curious if you'd heard anything or have an opinion on it. But nearly every time I publicly interact with your blog, bitches be trippin in my inbox. Idk how you deal with it.)

it's a bit of a mix. first, he had a terrible introduction to ships in this fandom. He was a young actor, everywhere he went, there was wincest. Wincels reframe it now, but on their own boards back in the day, they knew he didn't like it. The so proud "My favorite is wincest" they trained the new kids to cut off his expression and "because it's. SO weird." and on their forums they ratted and begged each other to never mention it to Jensen again back then. Because not just that. Wincest was used for pranks. They superglued it to phones to torment cast members. They basically rickrolled each other with wincest porn. It was literally an eternal mockery of them that made the old season "that's just sick" honestly seem gentle. But they've. Buried this.

So you gotta understand the first MINIMUM 3 years that's all jensen knew. Then Misha came in and kept getting extended and kinda got ball and cup plot shuffled with Anna at some point, so like. Anything that popped up back then. Sure, Sgriccia was like, wow, that's gay. But. Again. What's the mood about ships on set right now.

It took several years for them to realize there was even like. An actual ship. Because realistically like. they don't... see wincest as a ship. They saw it as a gross joke, like dropping flaming doggie doo on someone's door. So there's that.

Then add in like. The Chad Kennedy shit. The s10 press packet drop. The S11 mass salty author exodus, etc.

So we look at 2017--for the record, Doesn't Exist was before he got the 12.19 script. Just fyi. Or. You know. [gestures at all the following seasons]

all that man knew before then was WB was like hell no. He hadn't yet been handed Bobo's first step on the highway to gay mega hell

But yes, the shift mostly came arounnnnnnnd. Well. Hm.

He was lightly jolly about it but mostly in a comedic way that still didn't sit well with many. Some time around Wayward, A Little Birdie sent some names to some people with some power to put it on some lists watched by some security company that condensed the reports and gave nice readouts to the ackles on who seemed like a threat to their family.

And they saw a lot of bitching about Destiel.

You ever hear of spite shipping? Yeah. They done that to themselves. From like. IDK. jan or feb 2018 give or take, climbing upwards, there was a lot more banter, a lot more jokes that didn't have negative possible reads, a lot of chuckles. And then he'd go backstage, check his phone, and enjoy the assholes that hate his wife and friend shitting their pants that he DARED to support Destiel. Lather Rinse. Repeat.

It was 15.18 that actually torpedoed him.

hope that cleared it up.

[catcherappreciator]

A Love Letter to Baseball

This sport means so much to me. More than words can express. But words will have to do for now.

When I first started watching baseball, I had no idea what I was looking at.

I mean, I had played for a few summers when I was younger; but that was more than a few summers ago. Plus I didn’t even remember the baseball part of playing baseball. I remembered my teammates. I remembered what we’d joke about in the dugout. I remembered what it felt like to be treated like one of the boys. I did not remember the plays I made or the balls I hit.

But I remembered the fun. And as I was sitting in my backyard on a warm May evening, the part of me that remembers whispered something in my ear. So I got up, went inside, and turned on the TV.

For the longest time baseball was really just ‘the thing that my uncle watches to avoid social interactions on birthdays.’ It’s so deeply ingrained in North American culture that I didn’t even think it was worth a second glance. Baseball is baseball, and that’s it.

So as I found myself watching more and more I was surprised, honestly. Maybe I had a few misconceptions.

Two teams, both with nine players. Each team takes turns batting and fielding. Everyone plays on the same field—no ‘my side, your side.’ It’s equal.

To win the game, your team must score the most runs.

To score a run, teammates have to work together to get each other home.

What’s home? Home is where the heart is. Home is the place you long for. Home is sixty feet, six inches away from the mound.

So summer trudged along, as did baseball. I had my slumps, and baseball had its own. But somewhere along the way I started to realize that I was wrong earlier. Yes, baseball is baseball; but it’s so much more. I think that baseball is the sport that most mirrors our own lives.

There are 162 games in a regular season of Major League Baseball.

That’s more than football, more than basketball, more than hockey. Probably more than anything else you’re thinking about right now.

Athletes train all spring and play into the fall. Again, again, and again. Almost every single day. 162 times.

162 chances to save the day. 162 chances to absolutely fall apart.

(HINT: there’s usually more falling apart than saving the day.)

I also started to see how much human connection is involved in baseball.

I should’ve already known. But the part of me that remembers is not the part of me that analyzes. And professional athletes are way different than me, right?

Professional athletes are not inhuman. They may seem so sometimes, but we, as living breathing people, have more in common with them than not. They have lives. They have friends. They spend so much time together that they have no choice but to support each other. The hugs, the high fives, the dugout rituals are all so silly; but they mean something.

Seeing the athletes is only one part of it all though. You know what’s special? Seeing the fans.

Those people in the stands—and the people on the street, and the people online, and everyone you see with a certain hat—all feel the same way as you. They feel the hope, and the hopelessness. Every win and loss are echoed from person to person.

I can even watch games from 10, 20, 30 years ago and know exactly how everyone feels. There’s some sort of electricity there; it’s conducted by every cheer, every holler, every breath held. Going, going… gone.

Eventually fall fell upon us. It’s in the name, after all.

Not everything can go well for everyone all the time. But there’s always more baseball.

Always a next year. Always another 162 chances to get your hopes up. Always another 162 chances to fall in love all over again.

And that’s what I did. I fell in love with baseball.

I am truly a different person than I was before this summer. And I don’t say that lightly.

It’s crazy what sports can mean to someone, huh?

[conjured-osteon]

Hiatus

{-Kicks rocks an mumble grumbles- I SWEAR this account was fully intended to have more activity but I'll be going on a Hiatus till further notice. If curious, I've added more under the cut but to keep it short'n'simple; Rough start to the year that only continued hasn't helped my creativity an instead stressed me out. (Triggers in the Tags, just in case.)}

{Starting this explanation on a softer note, I find myself having a hard time focusing on my lovely characters an this blog. Not to say I'm intending to get rid of it! But when you get nervous trying to reach out to others or don't get responded to it can be a bit disheartening an I never know what to do as a plan B. (Plus I know we all have lives outside of this. I'm just an unfortunately nervous person an sometimes the Logical Thinking gets bopped by the What If's) But I also have Bouncing Interests so at times my drive will go from full throttle to Zero without any warning because something else has gripped me like a vice.

I have been desperately wanting to work on the blog but as mentioned above, lack of interaction kills the motivation an leaves it kinda stressful cause I dunno what I can do to do better, especially when not wanting to be a pester or bother anyone. Otherwise I HAVE met some wonderful people who are a delight to chat/plot with and I am so, so, so sorry I've been inactive the past month :'D I take responsibility for that radio silence of mine.

And onto rougher notes... New Years Eve I had to say goodbye to my childhood dog. She lived a good, long life an it's still upsetting not seeing her around after nearly 15 years. Holidays already grate me so the addition only made it worse and then some other details surrounding it just, made it especially bitter for me. I've suffered depressing/anxiety fueling dreams involving her almost every night since. Following as a few days ago; one of my cats passed away. Another example of old age but losing a pet never comes any easier over the years.

Around December is when my mental state really started taking a nosedive, one I thought was going to be a temporary thing seeing as I was working odd hours for events from my usual shifts, not resting or eating properly Truth be told I'm bad at that in general bUT, grieving over the approaching vet visit on top of other stressors that came during the Holiday season. A part of the mindset I was thinking it would pass was due to the fact I don't register things that have happened/are happening immediately, an so I just guessed I was having one of my delayed responses from other things and handling present stress... Cept, it continued on in waves for several weeks in comparison to a day or two. Aaaand earlier today while I was working, I got so stuck in my own head, so tightly wound up by meaningless thoughts, arguments with not purpose and physically over stimulated into self directed aggression by getting MF'in' hiccups that I ended up reaching out to a Cr!s!s Hotline when I found I couldn't even make myself contact friends/family. My strongest Rational and Logical Thought was I needed to talk to someone before my predicament made itself truly hazardous. Immediately after, I called my partner so he'd be aware. I'm doing better at the current moment, quite chilled out actually an I fully intend to bring this all up with my Therapist this week.

I hate worrying others and I falter to express what's going on due to the always hovering thought of I'm just looking for attention, or I'll be ruining another person's day because I'm being a child. Something I've struggled with for a long time that I'm hoping-- Trying, very hard to work through.

Soooo yeah- I guess this is me saying I need to step back for my mental health. I'm still so bummed out by having to do this but I really, really want this to be a fun space I can look forward too at the end of my day without my own nagging negativities getting in the way of it.

DMs will continue to be open but I'll be much more MIA from here than I was prior, this time with reason behind it.}

[solesommerso]

- ♡ Kinktober Project ♡-

prompt: riding

- the content below is 18+, if a minor or uncomfortable with sexual content please click away, I am not responsible for the media you consume or interact with

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

hondo harrelson x jim street

a/n: this is part of a larger fic that I haven’t finish and still haven’t decided if I’m going to post when I do but I like this part

warnings: takes place early season 1, d/s dynamic, dom!hondo, sub!street, swearing, consent bc it’s sexy

-

Hondos still not sure how he got himself into this situation, he’s not necessarily complaining, quite the opposite actually, he’s just unsure of how to wrap his head around this being reality.

It started earlier today when something seemed off about Street, he was being his normal reckless self but he didn’t look that engaged in the stunts. More so hazed out, blinking numbly to Deacon who gave a short lecture about how he needs to rely on the team more and not just himself.

It could just be that Streets getting sick of hearing the same speech over and over, but if that was the case then Hondo thinks he’d do the logical thing and stop jumping into danger every two seconds.

Hondo can tell it’s something different, something he’d have to really prod at if he wanted to know what was going on.

“Hey Street, you alright?” They’re the only ones left in the locker room, Street sitting against the wooden bench with a short nod to Hondo.

“Mm.” He hums, not even meeting Hondos eyes and fidgeting around with his hands.

“Really? You don’t look very okay.” There’s something that crosses Streets face, a brief moment of contemplation, thinking over what he’s going to say only to land on saying nothing at all.

“Hey. What’s going on?” Hondo places a hand on Streets shoulder, knitting his brow together in concern.

“I just um- I think I’m stressed.” It sounds unsure and makes Hondo pause.

“You think you’re stressed?” Street huffs.

“Back in Long Beach, I had this way of de-stressing but I can’t really do it here and I don’t know- it’s kinda throwing me I guess.” Hondo nods along slowly, Street hasn’t said much about what his time was like in Long Beach, just that he was top of his class, and the minor banter with Tan about Hollywood or Long Beach being better.

“Well what’d you do? I bet I can find something similar or we can take a trip down to Long Beach.” It’s not ideal to drive forty five minutes when they’re just now getting off a twelve hour shift but if Streets that stressed than Hondos willing to make the trip.

“Not that simple, I’d do it with this guy, Ty, and he kinda moved all the way to Boston so… out of luck.” Streets hands go through his hair, rubbing them down his face as he leans back.

“A boyfriend?” Hondos hesitant with the question since Street has never disclosed his sexuality but Streets kinda tips his head, a way to say ‘sort of’.

“There was no real commitment, it was just things.” Hondo hums.

“So you miss your not committed boyfriend?” He laughs at Streets eye roll.

“No. It’s not really Ty, he was boring. But I miss what we’d do, not even with him but just the- feeling I’d get.” Streets cheeks flush in embarrassment, something Hondo can say he’s never seen in Street, three months in to working together and Street is always confident in everything he does.

“Street you’re on tinder so much Chris complains about it, that not cutting it?” And even brighter red coats Streets cheeks as he shakes his head.

“Do- do you know what a dom and sub dynamic is?” It’s barely even audible, smaller than a whisper, but Hondo hums along, he knows and has read about being in a dynamic like that.

“That’s what me and Ty were. That’s how I’d destress.” Street looks away from Hondo, putting his hands over his thighs to ring them out across his jeans.

“You miss being dominant?” There’s plenty of ways Hondos seen Street take charge at work, he has no trouble being in a leading role when he needs to be.

“I miss being submissive.” Street says in the same small way he had asked the original question that lead to this conversation.

“Oh.” It’s all Hondo can say, he hadn’t expected that Street would be submissive in any way, he’s been doing everything in his power to disobey orders and be in control of something.

“And- and I can’t just ask some person to do that, I need to be able to trust them and a strange doesn’t really cut it. So I’m stressed out, or pent up, or whatever you’d call this.” Street groans when he finishes, pushing his head into his hands, Hondo can’t help but lean to rub a hand up his back soothingly.

He feels for Street, even if Hondo takes the dominant role when he participates in dynamics with partners, he can sympathize with how worked up you get after a long time without anything. And hearing the stress in Streets voice has Hondos heart strings pulling.

“The only people I know in La is the damn team so I’m kinda screwed.” Street forces a laugh, it’s more of a defeated huff, and Hondo breathes in an inhale, he can’t believe he’s about to say this but he does.

“What about me?” It leaves Hondos mouth before he even realizes that he’s speaking out loud.

“I- I could never ask you to do that- I- I wouldn’t want you to make yourself-.” Hondo cuts Street off.

“I’m asking not being forced, now Street look at me.” He listens with a blink up to Hondo, cheeks still tinted red.

You seemed disconnected today and off your game, if this will help you then the decision is up to you.” A beat passes before Street nods, it’s hesitant at first but quickly turns sure as a small smile comes to Streets face.

“Okay. I mean- yes, yeah.”

-

Which is how Hondo finds himself with his hands on Streets hips as he settles down onto Hondos dick, there’s sweat already beaded down Streets chest, his hairs tousled and mouth parted with pleasure. He looks better than Hondo could’ve ever imagined.

“Is- is that good?” Hondo nods immediately, his fingers gripping into the meat of Streets sides at the tightness of Streets body clenching around his cock.

It’s almost overwhelming how good it feels, they aren’t even moving, Streets perfectly still as he hovers his hands and stares down at Hondo.

“What is it baby? You gotta talk to me.” It’s been more than a shock to find out that when Street’s in his sub space, he’s very sweet, shyness marked on his body language like Hondos never seen, impossibly gentle with every touch given, perfectly obedient for Hondo.

“I wanna hold onto your shoulders and- and make noise.” Street bites his bottom lip, trapping in all the moans and groans desperate to come out.

“You can touch me anywhere you want, and make as much noise as you want. There’s nobody around.” Hondo had made sure the doors were locked and he’s not expecting anyone to come around so they can take as long as they please.

“Feels S’good.” Street breathes, holding his hands on Hondos shoulder, not hard enough that it hurts but with enough bite that Hondos sure he’ll have some marks left behind.

“You can move, baby.” Hondo encourages, basking in how Streets blush burns down his neck and chest at the nickname, still, he doesn’t move aside from shifting the smallest amount to rest his knees against the mattress better.

“I like feeling you, it’s- it’s grounding.” Street's eyes duck away from Hondos only to snap back when Hondo thrusts his hips the smallest amount. It has Street whimpering as he looks straight back up.

“Then you can stay still, though I don’t know how long I’ll last like this.” Hondo didn’t expect to be this into sex with Street, sure he knew what he was doing, he finds Street attractive in more ways then one, but having him perched so happily with Hondo deep inside him is something that makes Hondos gut roll with pleasure.

“S’okay, just wanna have you in me.” Hondo can’t help but buck his hips into Street at the words, so effortlessly hot.

Streets whine helps nothing on Hondos half, he thinks he could listen to how vocal Street is for the rest of his life, it had started in the car when Hondo put a hand on Streets thigh, making the latter squeal with excitement.

“Can I kiss you?” Hondo nods and not even a full second goes by before Streets leaning forward to lock his lips heatedly against Hondos.

Their chests become pressed together, Streets bottom half shifting as he leans, it gives a glorious new angle for the both of them, though Streets moans get trapped between them as Hondo kisses the noises quiet. He can feel how Streets dick strains between the two, halfway pressed into Hondos waist so he’s able to feel how the skin jumps and twitches when Hondo moves his hips slowly.

“Hondo.” Street moans against the man’s neck, dropping his head onto Hondos shoulder to tuck his nose into Hondos collarbone, rocking his hips in sync with each small thrust given.

“What is it baby?” He knows what it is, he can feel Streets cock leaking pre-cum against his stomach.

“So good, feels so good.” Hondo moves a hand to the back of Streets head, threading his fingers into the thick strands of hair, apparently it’s the right move as Streets dick becomes wetter instantly.

“Think- think m’gonna cum.” Street gasps, his hips moving faster before he’s leaning off Hondos chest.

His hands instantly go back onto Hondos shoulders for stability, though Hondo can’t say he expected Street to start bouncing up and down. It’s still at a slower pace but Hondo is sure it’s the hottest sight he’s ever seen.

Streets head thrown back in pleasure, moans coming out louder by the second, hair falling to stick to his forehead with sweat, thighs tensing as he gets closer, and dick jolting as it spurts out more pre-cum.

“Cum for me baby, come on, let go.” It’s the only encouragement Street needs before his hips stutter to a broken stop. There’s nothing but bliss on Street's face, his nails digging into Hondos shoulders as he groans so loud Hondo thinks his neighbors might’ve heard it.

“You okay?” Hondos hand runs up the back of Streets head when he leans to rest his forehead against Hondos shoulder, Street nods breathless.

“Mm. Sorry for finishing so early in.” He pulls off Hondo, smiling contently when Hondo scratches his scalp lightly.

“It’s all about you remember, you feel less stressed?” Street nods along, contently laying back into Hondo.

[john-barkston]

gonna talk about RWBY because its my blog and i can do what i want!!

LOL Anyway, ITS SUCH A SHAME THIS IS HAPPENING! (Like okay, take all of this with a grain of salt because it's rwby and literally every other media already does this, but rwby hasn't normal dialogue and interactions between the main 3 girls since V3 so V9 is refreshing and I am enjoying it- HOWEVER - the biggest issue is that this should have happened WAY earlier in the show! If you also like to torture yourself like i do, you have kept up with RWBY and understand that while this is a fun romp and episode 3 specifically had some fun and experimental scenes for the show, the tonal dissonance is deafening. We just watched the Main Protags lie to a man who had only good intentions, (the VERY thing they LITERALLY SAID OUT LOUD THEY WEREN'T GOING TO DO in the season before) which turned this man into a murderous dictator out of literally not where, which in turn gets TWO cities swallowed by water, and have those city's populaces possibly fall to their deaths because of the stupidest plan by the MCs which also gets ANOTHER MC killed because the writers have no idea what they're doing with this show (don't worry it doesn't matter she has died already and was brought back to life only to die ~for real~ this time so this was the least impactful death in a show ever). AND NOW They're in "wonderland purgatory" following the plot of the book to possibly get back home?? EVERY PROBLEM THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE V7 IS LITERALLY and i mean LITERALLY the main characters' fault and were supposed to just be like "Oh yeah, love those silly girls who don't get any repercussions for their actions besides the main girl being #depressed because her friend that she spoke to three times died -AGAIN. I'm sure they'll cut back to whatever the fuck is happening in the real world BUT ALSO they might not! This team has proven time and time again that they're on to something good in this show then they FUMBLE IT MASSIVELY. I like RWBY. It's VERY BAD most of the time but loads of fun and enjoyable when they get things right. There's so much potential here but it seems like they just write as they go instead of having the plot all lined out and boy does it show. Anyway, looking forward to where this train wreck goes and also the " give Weiss 'angel' wings" shot was for me :)

[nothingneverforever]

Marcella (Season 2,2018) and Dead to Me (Season 1, 2019): The flipside of two sympathetic, explosively volatile women and what it means for me

Before Season 3 of Dead to Me was released earlier in November, I rewatched seasons 1 and 2 and saw a crucial parallel to another series I’ve rewatched multiple times over: Marcella (only seasons 1 and 2 because season 3 wasn’t real tbh). I’m not reviewing these shows today, especially not Dead to Me because I can imagine that everything good to be said about it is already out there, and Marcella, well, because season 3 kind of made me not want to talk about the show ever again. But there is a small connecting thread between the lead characters Jen (Dead to Me) and Marcella (Marcella) that I’d like to talk a little about, especially because of how it relates to me and my expressions of self. 

I believe one of the three people reading this blog has not seen these shows, so for some context, I looked for some description of these two characters where their anger or more socially unacceptable demeanors are described as their key traits: 

Dead to Me 

So, every aspect of the show is absolutely fucking phenomenal, but the writing and acting in particular are off-the-charts flawless. Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini play Jen Harding and Judy Hale, an unlikely pair united by a web of tragedy and bad decisions made by good people. Free-spirited Judy befriends cynical Jen at a grief group after Jen’s husband is hit and killed in a hit-and-run accident, and chaos ensues.

[...]   I think the thing in Dead to Me I connect to more than anything else though, is Jen Harding’s unfettered rage. [...] She’s just generally over people’s bullshit and expresses it in ways most of us either can’t or won’t. I mean, at one point she literally bludgeons someone to death when he pushes her too far with his woman-hating bullshit. Is there a woman out there who hasn’t entertained this fantasy? Jen’s honest, naked fury is the reason I think so many have fallen in love with the show and with this character in particular.

https://www.scarymommy.com/jen-dead-to-me-unfiltered-rage-queen

Marcella 

DS Marcella Backland, played with coiled spring intensity by Anna Friel – isn’t the chirpiest of characters. And nor is she all that fun loving or easy going, either. In fact, it’s a small wonder anyone in her life likes her at all, really.

Actually, come to think of it… No one really does. Her soon-to-be ex-husband Jason has now moved out properly and is due to marry his new girlfriend. Her children seem to tolerate more than love her. And she still runs about her place of work, barking at colleagues, undermining her boss and harassing suspects. Even her on/off boyfriend, colleague Jamie Bamber, seems to have a few issues with her behaviour.

In a way, it’s kind of reassuring to see that Marcella the person is still just as thoroughly brusque, surly and uncivil as ever. Just as reassuring as it is to see that Marcella the TV programme is still just as thoroughly dark, distressing and downright depressing as ever.

https://www.deadgoodbooks.co.uk/seasons/marcella-series-2-review/

So it is precisely in how ‘unlikable’ Jen and Marcella are that they charm and engage, where it is a welcome experience to bask in the fantasy of uncouth (yet highly successful), seething (but understandably so), feminist women. Aside from how they are generally in their day-to-day interactions and in their perspectives on the happenings in their lives, I am speaking specifically about how this ‘anger’ (generalising here because I can’t be bothered to explain all the way this manifests or all the different undercurrents, all the layers of the submerged iceberg beneath this anger, so just imagine a very very very deep and complicated and moving and sad and hurt compounded anger) led these two characters to committing irreversibly tragic actions. Jen, in a fit of misdirected hurt/rage/annoyance kills her best friend’s ex-boyfriend (as bolded in the text above), and Marcella, whose anger mostly seems self-directed, smashes the head of her loving, warm (and handsome hehe) colleague who had moments before just stopped her from attempting suicide, chains him to a toilet stall, cuts all her hair off and slices through the sides of her mouth (think Joker-but cooler idk I’ve never seen Joker or Batman lol), before living under a bridge for weeks in the cold. (See pic below for the shocking, terrifying iconicity of Marcella’s self-harm.) While the manifestations of these unprocessed, unmanaged unhelpful emotions are different, both Jen and Marcella are clearly volatile, “unhinged” women. 

A few nights ago I was in the car giving my colleague a lift home after work, and it’s a long drive so we usually have good time to start and finish serious topics before she gets off, and this is a part of my week-day routines I have come to enjoy very much. So on this particular drive, my colleague gave a recent stressful experience in her life as an example of how anger does not sit well with her, both in her personal and professional selves, and how sadness is something she’d much rather languish in. And I commented that I am very much the opposite, not that I am avoidant of sadness, but rather anger feels comfortable and nature and very much like something core to who I am. I have thrown cups and bottles on the ground and my phone more times than I can remember, I have smushed my pen-tip into my diaries since I was a teenager causing ink to bleed out, and slamming doors is something so easy for me to resort to, any day any time. And I know that certain media makes it seem empowering for women, otherwise discouraged from expressing non-warm/loving emotions, to start showing these types of behaviours as a supposed reclamation of that which we have had to abstain from with much intentional restraint, but we know honestly that there are not healthy or respectful methods of coping / managing. 

Back to Jen and Marcella, being me watching these two beautiful, strong, epic, swaggilicious women behave in the ways they do without thinking twice.... of course that’s immediately inspiring and relatable, right? Because it’s something I can already see myself doing, see myself being if given free rein. But my post today, the important point that has been on my mind for months, is why this isn’t okay. Doing the work that I have done (just for 2+ years but hopefully many many many more to come!!) and also just generally maturing as a young adult has shown me that it’s not cool for anyone to cause distress in others through such expressions; it’s not cool to “lost control” (itself a myth mostly), and it’s not cool to ummmm murder haha or to attempt it... 

Which is precisely why Jen and Marcella had to go to such extreme lengths. Let’s imagine that these two women continued about with their lives as the cool, iconic, irreverent, highly intelligent, brave legends that they are, and express themselves with the rudeness/disrespect/”craziness” that they do, save for killing someone/attempting to kill others+themselves. If that was it, then it would really have been so, so so easy to continue to pedestalize them as the women most of us other women dream to be. It would be so easy to think hey I could be like that too, and in fact I should because I deserve to! And this is not wrong either. There are a million ways in which women can act that would likely benefit all of society, with such freedom of expression. But the peak of the mountain (murder, to generalize) should never be reached; that is not a height to be scaled and I think that’s why it was so important that it was.  Do you know what I mean? What I mean when I say the shocking brutalities* are necessary is that audiences needed to realise that there is always a flipside to being this ‘cool angry bih’. And sometimes that can include awful awful awful tragedies. Me most of all, I needed to realise it too. 

* - Dead to Me invested a lot into showing the hurt caused by Jen’s murderous action, where the shock and realisation of how immoral and unacceptable it was doesn’t come all at once, but slowly through the impact shown on many many lives. And ultimately we (and authorities) forgive her for it, but the weight is always known. 

I might come back and add on to this in a while, but it’s a Sunday night now and as always I’m anxious about starting the work week because more often than not it includes weights I am not prepared to carry. But I’d like to say most importantly more so than the non-revolutionary singular point I’ve made in the too-many words above, that I love love love love love both of these shows. Finishing season 3 of Dead to Me last week, I cried on the way back home a few days later suddenly thinking about how sad and vast and simple it was. 

Love you all! 

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Update:

Omg I just realised something hilarious hahahaha I was scrolling through my few-and-far-between old posts and saw that I had very roughly talked about Dead to Me in May 2021, and omg... I am part of the fucking problem guys!!! 

This is so funny omg.... ignore everything I said pls hahahahaha.... Killing an innocent man is not ok wtf!! Maya wake up!!!! 

Ok but saying “you can die” when someone asks you what they can do to help is still quite iconic ngl.