#like am i excited and optimistic for his future?

[bobbinalong]

my thoughts on jon's whole situation change every two days, honestly.

[doux-amer]

I can't believe I had such a massive headache and my eyes felt swollen all day because of the amount of crying I did this morning through the post-match farewell ceremony. I had to stay offline because everything would set me off, and like a fool, I just went on Instagram, thinking I'd be okay because I watched everything and for the new stuff, I could scroll past them and see them another day. But of course I cried again. The only way I'm getting through this week is because I have an overwhelming amount of work that's going to increase once the work week actually starts.

[catsteeth]

The Caged Bird and The Leashed Dog

+:✿ Chapter - 1 ✿:+ New Pretty Cage

next chapter

Summary: You are the daughter of Jon Arryn, you and your father travel to King's Landing with the intention of arranging a marriage for you. You catch a glimpse of The Hound during your first night in Kings Landing and it creates a mutual fascination even if he won't admit it. 

CW: slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, mention of animal death, alcohol consumption, mention of infant death, mention of parent(s) death, loras being very lgbtq , mention of arranged marriage. 

Leaving the Eyrie at first was exciting. You hated to admit it, you screamed at your father for even suggesting it, you cried like a child, but it was. The Eyrie was hardly a home, It was cold, isolated, and a constant reminder of what you’d lost. Kings Landing was warm, crowded, and offered a future outside of living in the past. 

Your father, Jon Arryn, was more than optimistic that you would find a suitor worthy of your name. Your aunt and now step mother, Lysa Arryn was elated at the opportunity of ridding her and Robin’s lives of you. 

After the death of your mother, Elorie of house Tully, your father married her sister, your aunt. You could have stomached it, you could have even forgiven it, if it weren’t for the fact your mother died during her labors of childbirth. 

As you and your father rode in the carriage, your mind couldn’t help but think of it. You’d spent your mothers entire pregnancy hoping she’d bear a son. You even prayed, prayed to the seven Gods whom you didn’t even believe in. You had hoped if the child was a boy, you wouldn’t have to be wed off to the best house name possible. 

What's worse, not only did the labors kill your mother, but it also killed your brother. You’d prayed for a brother and the Gods gave you a brother. But they took him away and your mother with him. 

You had spent days sulking, wallowing in grief. Unbeknownst to you, all the while your father was arranging his own marriage with Lysa. A son followed behind soon, Robin, the brat. You hated him, even if you were the same blood.

“We approach,” your father said under his breath. It was enough to bring you back to reality. 

“How long will I be here?” You asked, knowing the answer. Your father shot you a look with a furrowed brow, as if to say, “You already know.” You nodded as your concerned gaze turned to a glare as you looked out the carriage into the city. You lost your sweetness after your mother died, you were in no rush to get it back. 

“Who am I to wed?” You asked flatly, your stoic expression and eyes filled with venom shot outside of the carriage and away from your father. 

He sighed and looked upon you softly. “The Baratheon boys are eligible I suppose,” before he could finish you began. “Blondes, I have a distaste for blonde men.” You say as you rest your chin on your fist, still staring outside of the carriage. Your father let out a sigh about to lecture you on the importance of uniting families and the unimportance of such trivial things like personal happiness. But you cut him off, you look at him with eyes filled with venom, “I know you’ve a plan. You don’t go into anything blind.” he let out a small huff of a laugh as you arrived at the impressive castle. Your eyes did move from your fathers however. “You are just like your mother. Filled with angry eyes and hard questions.” Your eyes narrowed a bit, as the door to the carriage opened. 

“Welcome Lord Arryn, welcome Lady (Y/N)” 

Later that evening, you met the Lannisters and Baratheons over dinner. 

You took note of the “Baratheon boys” your father mentioned. Sons of the King. From all those story books you'd read as a girl you would have thought that Princes’s would be handsome, kind, gentle, and brave. However you weren’t a naive child anymore. So the scrawny and boyish looking Joffrey didn’t surprise you, but did disappoint you. And Tommen was boyish too however Tommen was just that, a boy, a child. You found yourself praying again, praying you wouldn’t be subjected to an arranged marriage between either of them. 

The dinner was mostly spent with your father and Robbert yammering, and occasionally people needing to remind you that you were being spoken to. 

It was strange, on one hand you were excited to be out of the isolation of the Eyrie, on the other hand you couldn’t care less about the people around you. That was until the royal family's guard stepped into the room. The man was giant, standing at least 6 '6, his shoulders were so broad he had to step into a room at an angle. You felt your eyes linger on the figure just a second too long. Reverting it back to your hands in your lap. 

You felt her cheeks blush, you felt yourself get embarrassed by this. But the thing is you’ve never seen a man like that. You never saw a man that big, a man that broad, ever. The Eyrie was secluded and maybe men from the vale were just shorter. Maybe this was a southern thing. Before you could roll the thought around your brain for long, the hulking figure walked to the opposite side of the room, it was only then when you noticed his face lit by the candle lights.You saw the left side of his face first. His face was masculine, there was nothing about his appearance that was feminine. As you analyzed his face, he turned it towards you which is when you saw the opposite of his face. It was horribly scarred, all the hair on his face was burnt off and ribboned in scarred tissue. 

It was beautiful. You’d never seen anything like it. 

You didn’t break your gaze as it was intertwined with the giant in the room. His deep brown eyes seemed somewhat confused with something about you. You felt the blush returning to your cheeks and nose as you studied him. You only broke your improper gaze once you felt the dread you feel everytime your fathers gaze comes towards you. You were able to look away before he noticed. He grabbed ahold of your hand and shot you a half hearted smile hoping your sour mood would magically improve with this minimal affection. However the daggers in your eyes did not surrender. 

You spent the following days walking around the castle, hoping for another glimpse at the man everyone feared so terribly. You asked your father about him, “He’s the royal family's dog, both the Cleganes are. They are not the kind of people I wish for you to be around.” You rolled your eyes, but the information you got from anyone else was no better. His monstrous and vile actions. His temper is so fierce he’d kill anyone without a second thought. But when you saw his eyes, those deep brown eyes, they weren’t mean or angry they were sad. They were scared.

Days in this shit city were long, and often just as boring as the days in the Eyrie. Only instead of a shivering cold there was a sticky warmth. Instead of Lysa and Robin there was Cersei and Joffrey. At least Robin didn’t kill little creatures and beat girls for fun. 

There were some advantages to living here however. There were more books, more food, more drinks, more dresses, more music. Living so high in the mountain such luxuries were sparse. Luxuries like friends, of which you felt you gained a few. The Tyrells for example were the only people you felt you could be truly honest with. Specifically Loras, there was a sense of vulnerability you two shared with each other. Both of you are unhappy with the prospect of marriage, arranged specifically. You remember the time he confessed to you that he was in love with a man. You walked through the garden together, those times became special. The only times when you and he could speak plainly. You always thought of how lovely it would be to have a friend, someone to trust solely. You always thought it would be a woman but you couldn’t complain. 

You held onto his hands as he confessed. He said he wished he could change, to not be what he was. 

“Never,” You held onto his hands tighter “Never wish for such things. Change even a single thing of you and you aren’t you. And you are my friend, my dearest friend.” You whispered, he embraced you tightly. You however had a slight growing distaste for Renly, a man who brought such tears to your friend. 

To anyone secretly observing, it was courting. To you and he, it was friendship. In its purest way. 

Maybe your father was true to his promise, he’d find you a man whom you’d love, a man who was brave and gentle. Only this love was different. As he was the only person you could trust.

The two of you thought of a plan for you and the wedding of one another. It was a good plan, the two of you would be bound by love and respect of which you both shared for the other. And the two of you would be free to find romantic, and sexual love freely. Loras teased you’d be able to fuck all the KingsGaurd if The Hound did not please you. It made you giggle but blush in embarrassment like a little girl.

Honestly you and he would have had the most healthy relationship of all the realm, and the only difference would be the two of you never consummated. But who would need to know? 

You almost went through with it after the death of your father. If it weren’t for the fact Cersei forced her company upon you so much, you could have ran to the nearest septon and made your marriage official. But Cersei never left you alone, you were either with her, or one of her ladies. And, and you hated to admit it, you’d miss those butterflies in your belly anytime you caught The Hounds gaze. It makes your cheek red and your belly burn. And you loved it, it might have been the only reason you could have lived during those days. You spent anytime you got alone with Loras talking about The Hound, a topic he grew bored of quickly. So you also spoke of your marriage. 

However these plans changed at the arrival of your cousin Sansa. Upon her arrival you saw a girl who would never handle the city she was stepping into with such naive big eyes and fairy tale fantasies of her future. You agreed with Olenna that Loras should attempt to court Sansa prior to her wedding with Joffrey, one last attempt at her freedom. You began to care less and less of your own.

Selfless yes, but stupid. 

During the tournament you sat beside Sansa, and her father Nedd Stark who had such an affinity to your father apparently it was transferred to you now that he was dead and gone. She begged her father to stop the tournament. You wanted to roll your eyes at it, but you also wished someone would stop it as well. The Mountain, Gregor Clegane, scared you. He was different from his brother. The Hound was almost as big but he had a stoic and sad nature to him, even though everyone told you to beware. The brother you feared was Gregor, he was unstable, rabid, and frightened you to no end. You’d hoped your plan of him using your mare, who was in heat, would work. 

It was a trick, but a good one, if it worked. And it did, it upsets and confuses Gregor's mount. Gregor was thrown off his horse. You felt a wave of relief as Sansa stood and cheered. What you didn’t account for was Gregor's reaction. Gregor, absolutely furious, decapitated his own horse. You, still seated, grabbed ahold of Sansa’s arm as Gregor made his way to Loras. You sat and watched, you hoped someone, anyone would intervene. Renly, Nedd, the King, anyone. 

Just as you were sure that was the end, “Leave him be!” The giant man behind you roared. The Hound swung his sword blocking a fatal blow to Loras. You sat there, your eyes not wide but narrowed and brows furrowed. You studied the battle between these two brothers. You wondered why, why would this man risk his own life just to save one of Loras? If he was the merciless monster that everyone had claimed, why do this? As you watched these men fight you noticed, the noble men all fought as they were trained, this man fought as he knew would kill. He fought with experience. 

You couldn’t help but find it exciting. 

As The King called off this fight, The Hound dodged a fatal blow he simultaneously bowed to the King. This made your lips part slightly as you struggled to conceal a smile. 

As Loras named The Hound champion everyone stood and clapped, but not you. 

You sat and stared at the man, your cheeks with a renewed blush on them. You smiled softly at him, his gaze soon met your own. Once met, it was hard to break. 

You managed to weasel your way out of the sight of the Starks and Lannisters to check on Loras. As you made your way to the stables you didn’t find Loras but The Hound. You felt like you walked into a brick wall as you saw the Giant drinking from a wine skin sitting against the stable that held your own horse. He didn’t look at you as he said “Your pretty boy isn’t here, girl.” as he took another long swig of the wineskin in his fist. 

“I’m sure I don’t know who you refer to.” You lie as you slowly walk over to your horse. 

“Fuck you don’t.” He hissed  “Dirty trick you and that boy pulled.” 

“No honor in tricks.” You say feeding your horse some feed from your palm. 

“Honor,” He scuffs “only cunts believe in that shit.” your brows raised, you’d never heard a man curse so much. They rarely did in the company of a Lady. 

“There was honor in what you did, It was quite brave, Ser.” 

“I'm not a ser, I already told your pretty boy that.” 

“Loras is not my ‘pretty boy’” you said in a mocking tone making the hound crack a small smirk. 

“Fuck off,” He scuffed, “Round that boy you’re as in heat as that bitch mare in that stable.” 

“Is that why you came here? You sit in front of my mare's stable because you wanted to accuse me of having relations with a friend of mine?” You eyes shift from your mare to glare at him with disgust. His eyes locked with yours. He hardly needed to look up at you to see your eyes. 

“I don’t like the way you look at me.” He said flatly

“I don’t like the way you talk to me.” Your eyes went back to your mare. “Don’t talk to me like that and I won’t look at you like that.”

“Don’t matter how you look at me, just that you do.” He said as he took another swig. 

You looked down contemplating what that could have meant as you looked over to him. 

“Didn’t I just fuckin’ tell ya not to do that?” He growled however your gaze did not falter. 

“You did not, you said you don’t like it.” You asserted mockingly, not at all scared of this man beside you, even though you maybe should be.

He stood, showing just how small you were in comparison to him. As he loomed over you, his eyes raked over every part of you, avoiding your eyes. 

“It will serve you well to listen to a man. Save yourself some pain. Some men, like to hit stubborn girls like you. Men who like to beat them.” He said in a somewhat more gentle tone than before. 

Your eyes met him once more, as you looked up at him, you realized he’d never been so close to you. 

“And what of you? Are you one of those men?” You asked teasing him, testing his patience 

“Maybe,” he rasped “You don’t know the things I’ve done,” 

You turned your body towards him to face him completely. 

“You should be scared of me, of any man in this shit city.” 

“I should be, but I’m not. I tried to be, but I can’t make myself feel frightened by you.” You said fidgeting with your necklace. 

“I’m a killer,” He wrapped his fingers around your throat, but his grasp was hardly there at all, almost like he was hovering his hand there. “I could crush your pretty throat.” 

“Do it.” You said quickly, His brows furrowed, “You think I want to live here? Do it.” you held onto his wrist, needing both hands to grasp his thick wrist fully. “No, you won’t hurt me.” You say softly. 

His hand runs down your throat and lays flat engulfing your chest in his palm as his fingers laid on your collar bone. He felt your heartbeat for a moment, savoring it.  “No, no little bird, I won't hurt you.” He conceded painfully, the name he called you made your cheeks blush. With that he turned away from you and stomped out of the stables. 

You felt yourself release a breathe, fuck, you thought to yourself. 

Few questions remained in your mind, ‘Why was he so gentle?’  and ‘Why did he make you feel this way?’

NOTE: Hi, this is my first time writing any fanfiction- believe me it will get better. We will be fuckin I promise we will be laying it down girls!! This one is mainly just world building. Let me know if there's anything you’d like to see going forward! 

Xoxo 

Bambi <3

[alwayscorvus]

Hi!! Can I request Jiyan from Wuwa with a scary reader? I mean, the other Midnight Rangers might be scared of the reader because of her/his constant smile in ABSOLUTELY any situation

Jiyan x scary reader

scary!malereader x Jiyan, fluff;

Bruh I got 4 request for Jiyan on the same day (02.10) and I am absolutely excited and terrified at the same time. Imma write everything at some point, but uni has started so it can take a while. Thanks a lot anon! Hope it's acceptable

M/N was definitely a special figure in the ranks of Midnight Rangers. Although he didn't hold the highest position and wasn't making the most important decisions, his name was known to everyone. And it brought a real fear among the Midnight Rangers.

But what's quite surprising, all this terror wasn't caused by his strength, outstanding achievements on battlefield, demanding nature or nasty character. No, M/N was a total opposite of cocky, narcissistic or mean. He was just-... kind. Too kind.

And as ridiculous as it may sound, everyone who screwed something up, always begged deep inside that their punishment wouldn't be handled by M/N. Even general himself, who mustered up a demanding manner in face of crisis, seemed like much safer option than you and your legendary approach.

Rumor had it that one day, many years ago, when a military traitor was brought back to the camp, cries of suffering had no end. Witnesses mentioned a small, shabby building, set far from a center of base. That's where the man, who betrayed entire army by leading them into a trap and taking their lives, got placed. Bitter soldiers - victims who lost they family, friends, disciples - visited this place numerous times. And although, eventually, traitor survived and lived to see a fair sentence, it all didn't go without bruises.

In order to keep military self-judgment from being too harsh someone had to guard a traitor. Several of youngest recruits were assigned to do this task. One of them was M/N. Many were worried about how this gruesome sights might affect such a young man, with an optimistic approach to life. Who always burst with positive energy and found advantages in every situation, even the worst.

However, all fears died when they saw a face of M/N, crossing the doorstep of a building. Smile adorned his face.

Anxiety was born.

For the record, there was also a moment when more than one person fought for general's heart and favor. And not every candidate was fair in their actions. Even though it was already known behind the scenes that Jiyan and M/N had a thing for each other and that they were forming a relationship, someone was shameless enough to interfere in that.

Intruder's ploys were extremely nasty. Especially when looking at M/N's vulnerability, due to the fact that both partners were still young and not ranked high enough to be able to reveal themselves in front of military authorities.

However, it was hard to tell what was more shocking. Intruder's actions or M/N's reaction.

Because to everything, M/N responded in one only way:

Intruder “accidentally” poured hot soup on M/N?

Smile.

Intruder questioned M/N's abilities and brought up his fails?

Smile.

Intruder claimed that he would be a better partner for Jiyan?

Smile.

Intruder allowed himself for too much in a bar and grabbed Jiyan at the end of his back?

Smile.

And leave intruder with a twisted arm. But, that's a topic for another story.

Whatever happened one thing was certain. No matter how much it annoyed M/N, upset or made him angry, M/N still managed to react with a smile. And that's precisely what was most horrifying about him.

That big, wide smile combined with blank eyes. Sight that gave chills.

Belive me when I tell you that in the whole Midnight Rangers there was no one more scary than M/N. If new generations of soldiers had children in the future, they would definitely scare them with frightening stories about M/N.

Despite the fact that M/N was only one of many coaches in army, it was hard to find a person more respected. Even if this respest was brought by fear… After all, in order to submit, the most rebellious soldiers needed something more than admiration towards the great Jiyan.

Like in the past, todays also, M/N's dark aura was working wonders.

It was truly naive to think that anyone could avoid training with M/N by lies.

Two skinny boys shook with fright as they saw at whom they had just bumped into. Panicked, they were shifting their gaze from one to another.

-Oh boys. Where are you running like that? - you asked with fake confusion - Didn't our training begin just a minute ago?

Your disciples swallowed their saliva with a big difficulty. What were you doing here?! Weren't you supposed to be with the rest?

-Ah right! -you started with excitement, almost as if you had just recalled something- Your teammates reported that you were bedridden sick.

Youngest began to stutter.

-But wait! This isn't a bed, is it?

Boys could barely stand the tension. Whole lives flew before their eyes. And all possible punishments they could receive for insubordination. Starting with bathroom cleaning, month's service as kitchen help, plenty of extra push-ups or worst of all... individual hand-to-hand combat training with M/N himself… not even to mention about reporting to top units.

But instead of hearing a stern reprimand or punishment, M/N blessed them with nothing else than a smile. Beaming, barely natural.

Recruits' knees softened under your murderous, almost insane stare. Controlled by anxiety, they quickly bent in half, heads almost reaching the ground. Hysterical apologies and pleas for mercy reached your ears.

You frowned at this and tilted your head slightly to the side, truly amazed.

-Jiiiyaaan - miserable, you cried out your partner's name and he turned towards you with curiosity.

Without much delaying, you snuggled into your sitting partner's back.

-I think that they don't like me...

You announced with a pouty face and hid your head in the crook of his neck. Jiyan stroked your hair with affection.

-Who do you mean?

-Everyone

You broke down more and squeezed your boyfriend tighter. Frustration in your voice contrasted significantly with Jiyan's deep calmness.

Jiyan bit his lip slightly. He quickly recalled his conversation with Ningwei from the past.

They were sitting in a military bar at the time. Though late hour made all the other soldiers return to their bunks, it was also an ideal opportunity to reveal a few secrets in a honest talk.

Jiyan wasn't first to start topic like that. He didn't feel a need to inform everyone about his relationship status. It was your private business. And if anyone really wanted to know about it, they could figure it out by themselves. In the end, after many years of knowing each other and being in relationship, you two became more and more bold in displaying your feelings for each other. Or rather more reckless… Without even knowing, you started to share scraps of your routine with world outside of your abode. Some began to notice that two of you had something more in common than just a simple friendship. But no one had the courage to say it out loud.

Except for Ningwei. His personality and history with Jiyan allowed him to do more. Besides, he was worried about his captain. And he wasn't the only one. Everyone in crew was concerned, even just by your close "friendship". They were anxious about leaving their beloved general alone with you. Jiyan was such a good person. Always caring for others and putting they well-being above his own. He made sure that soldiers lived in good conditions,. Tried to send them on leave as often as possible. And never failed to extend a helping hand to any victim who lost their home in the fires of battle.

They feared that in his generosity, Jiyan might be naive, forcibly seeking kindness hidden in others. In their blind imagination, they felt as if they were leaving a helpless lamb to be devoured by a big, scary wolf.

-You nad M/N... are you- are you sure about?

Jiyan tilted his head slightly to the side and sent him a questioning look.

-Are you sure that you two are a good match? You know, M/N is-… he is- he's-…. -though it never happened to Ningwei, this time he couldn't get words out of his mouth. He was too afraid of Jiyan's reaction. He didn't know how Jiyan could respond to bad words about a person most important to him. Or rather, Ningwei knew. Tragically. Not in Jiyan's peaceful way.

Ningwei slowly sank down into his chair under Jiyan's gaze. Suddenly, a predatory side of general, usually revealed only in heat of a battle, became more and more real.

-...scary?

He finally finished, without much confidence, and Jiyan only furrowed his eyebrows more. He didn't quite understand what Ningwei meant. Were they really talking about the same loving M/N? This man was smiling even when others did him wrong. When they accidentally tore his jacket or forget about a gift for him.

Jiyan also recalled that one situation in the bar.

When that one soldier…, Jiyan couldn't really remember his name, got a little too close to him.

At first Jiyan didn't think too much of it. But when he felt a touch on his back, in a place meant only for you, he immediately tensed up.

You responded almost instantly. Before Jiyan had a chance to do anything, you were already by his side, grabbing stranger's wrist in an iron grip. You gritted your teeth and sent intruder a deadly glare. Man hurriedly straightened up and took a few steps back. But it was too late. A frantic smile crossed your face.

And although a whole bar had to separate you (including a panicked Jiyan), at the time, general was feeling oddly proud of his caring partner.

-I am sure that they like you very much... Maybe they are just only a little-… - he wanted to add a word “afraid” but eventually he bit his tongue and didn't finish.

He didn't want to make you upset. He himself didn't know if you did it on purpose or unintentionally. Whether it was just your act. Way to gain respect. Desire to make fun of squad. Or perhaps simple innocence in attempt to show kindness by most obvious gesture - smile.

After all, in private of his company you were a completely different person. You treated him like a real treasure. Spoiling him and being the sweetest boyfriend possible.

Jiyan truly couldn't understand what they all were talking about.

[kaisturni]

bewitched | m. sturniolo

→ matt x fem!reader

→ oc! created for the plot

→ plot; you and matt attend the wedding of your best friends, and he comes a realization about you that he should’ve known all along.

→ warnings; absolutely NONE. tooth aching, cavity inducing, sickly sweet fluff.

→ a/n; i’m so sorry i reread this and literally had to post

NOT PROOFREAD KINDA

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“ready, man? big day today, huh?” matt shook, his best friends shoulders lovingly, excited to watch nathan get married, a sentiment you two always talked about together, the future wedding of the person that grew up beside the both of you.

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“what do you think about charlotte?” he asked you whilst taking a sip of the milkshake you were sharing at dinner.

“oh, she’s the one.” he furrowed his eyebrows at you, confused by the certainty of your statement.

“how can you be so sure, they’ve only been together six months or so?”

you looked off to the side, giggling at his question, fiddling the straw wrapper between your manicured hands.

“she’s just so right for him, y’know? i’ve never seen him do the things he does for her, for anyone. they take care of each other. call it the honeymoon phase whatever, that’s going to last with them. oh man, have you seen the way he looks at her? that never goes away. when you know you know? right?”

he shrugs his shoulders, “yeah i guess so”

he had no reason to argue with you about your reasoning for why exactly charlotte was the one for nathan,

“only time can tell” he adds

“exactly right, matty. but time is all they need”

even then you had such an optimistic look on love. it was natural, real, and easy. you had no reason to believe a love like that couldn’t exist. but to put it bluntly, he didn’t exactly have the same compass as you when it came to love. he too had no reason to not believe a love like that was real, but that wasn’t something he could tell you. his relationship with you had only been a couple of weeks down the line. matt wasn’t ready to lose you just yet, so he kept those thoughts to himself.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ˚୨୧

“i’ve waited for this day since i met charlotte, when you know you know, am i right?” fixing the cuff links on his slick black suit,

deja vu hit him, and he thought of your words in a conversation you had years ago,

“for sure, now get out there and marry her”

the pair hugged, and nathan disappeared out to the venue, excitedly finding his way to the altar, the ceremony was about to begin.

of course, it wasn’t just him in the room, his brothers nick and chris, and nathan’s other groomsmen were also in collective. each got to walk down the isle with a member of charlotte’s party, you included, being her maid of honor after, and him as nathan’s best man. you were the ones to introduce them, after all. he faced the mirror on the other side of him, watching the men around him mingle and laugh. he fixed his own cuff links and tie in the mirror, almost letting himself think it was his own big day.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ˚୨୧

the wedding party lined up, waiting for their cue to enter, you and matt being first. he hasn’t seen you yet that day, too busy scrambling; helping charlotte all day, getting ready yourself, and making sure everything was perfect for your best friend. right now, his mind could only imagine how beautiful you looked.

to be fair, he already knew how striking you were. since the day you two met, you were always the one to catch his eye. he could never focus on anyone else but you. in his mind it was young love; the love that makes you dumb, and wild, the kind that doesn’t truly last. now that years have passed you’ve been dating, and you’ve grown together, his dress shoes suddenly didn’t fit and the collar of his shirt was too tight on his neck, the thought of letting you go one day made him feel uncomfortable.

matt shook the thought out of his head, right on time to hear the music, signaling him to walk in to the ceremony.

you enter the same time he does, and his entire body felt weak at the sight of you.

matt knew you were never one to dress up, always in something casual and comfortable, unless necessary. he never gets to see you like this, the seldom times being prom and a handful of your own college formals. but nothing compared to this.

the black strapless dress hugged your skin perfectly, accentuating all your curves, paired flawlessly with white heels, yet you still fell short under his height.

your hair was neatly kept in an updo, soft curls falling in front of your face, he always loved seeing you with your hair up.

your delicate hold of the bouquet in your hands, french tips on your nails, as always.

your whole body glowed with radiance, and you met his face with a warm smile, which he gladly returned. he couldn’t help but think how strikingly perfect you looked; every detail of you he took in, there was no part of you that was a mystery to him.

matt has seen you be beautiful in every stage of life you’ve known each other, and this time it was astonishing as the first time around.

his mind trailed back to when you two were in high school and university; when you were still a girl and he got to call you that.

his girl.

but that was not the person standing in front of him, you were a woman now.

his woman.

you brought him out of his daydream, with a soft “hi,” soft enough that only his blessed ears could hear.

he mouthed the same back to you, and offered you his arm which you gladly took, effortlessly shifting the bouquet to your other hand. he looked forward at his best friend standing at the altar, nathan’s gaze bouncing between you and matt, smile growing exponentially bigger.

you and matt made your way down the isle, the trail of the others behind you following shortly after.

his mind went back to the thoughts he had earlier of what his wedding day would be like; walking down a similar path, similar people as his own groomsmen, but different decorations and maybe some different guests, but one constant was there,

and it was you.

meeting nathan at the end of the walkway, matt hugged him first and you following,

“thank you,” nathan whispered in your ear, you broke the hug, giving him a silent ‘of course’ as you shuffled to your side in front of the other women.

an instrumental began to play; charlotte was about to walk in. you could barely contain the excitement of seeing your best friend marry the love of her life. you felt a little proud about being part of the reason her and nathan started dating, but you were always humble about it.

matt on the other hand, he wasn’t thinking about charlotte; hell, he wasn’t even thinking about nathan. he could only think of you, and how you were beaming with joy in the moment.

would you be the same way on your big day?

‘Wrapped me in your arms

Leaned in and whispered

"Keep me in your heart"

‘I'm so bewildered

What's this new desire called?’

‘I didn't know that much at all 'bout love before

But now, I think I'm learning’

in all honesty, he never paid much attention to the lyrics, just knew that you liked it. but for once, his ears tuned in.

‘You bewitched me

From the first time that you kissed me’

that was true. your first kiss together was sweet and innocent, shared after only one date at the most dive style restaurant in boston. even from that day, he was hooked on you.

‘Waited all night

Then we ran down the street in the late London light

The world froze around us, you kissed me good night’

the grand doors fell open, and there she was. charlotte was glowing. a perfect bride on her perfect day, everyone turning their entire bodies to look at her. but matt’s eyes never left you.

‘You bewitch me

Every damn second you're with me’

he watched your eyes become glossy, tears almost immediately streaming down from your face as you happily wept at the sight the girl you’ve known for years.

‘I try to think straight

But I'm falling so badly, I'm coming apart’

matt had to force himself to rip his gaze from you, now looking at nathan, who was biting his lip, doing little to nothing to stop the pools of tears coming from his eyes. matt could only think how lucky he was to get to experience this. to marry the woman he’s been so sure about for so long.

‘You wrote me a note, cast a spell on my heart

And bewitched me’

deja vu hit matt again, and it hit him hard.

“only time can tell” he remembers exactly how those words came out of his mouth that day.

“exactly right, matty. but time is all they need”

you were right. you were always right. now he knew. time was all he needed.

‘You're not even gone

I already miss you

What's going on?’

he was too caught up in thinking that all good things come to an end, that his first love wouldn’t last, and it would only be a matter of time. you were the only good thing he didn’t want to end.

‘I've never been through

This all-consuming fire fuming

Cursing at the moon and losing all control and crying

'Cause I think I'm falling’

a shaky breath released from his mouth, feeling the guilt of not realizing he wanted to marry you sooner, how you always did things for him, things you wouldn’t do for anyone else; you took care of him.

he lost count of how many times he pulled himself into reality from his own thoughts today, and as charlotte made her way to hold hands with nathan, she whispered an ‘i love you,” to you, matt finally felt his eyes gloss with tears, at both the sight in front of him and the thought of you. all of you.

he knew he wanted you all to himself, forever.

your eyes finally met his, not knowing he was looking at you this entire time. you gave him that smile again, a tear dropping down his face.

“i love you,” he mouthed, you let out a gentle breath at his words. he knew were usually the one to say it first, not like he never said it. he said it all the time; but you were quick to steal those three words from his breath without even realizing.

“i love you,” he watches you mouth back, doing your best to not interrupt the moment happening in front of the two of you.

he vowed silently to cherish you forever, love you ljke there’s no tomorrow, vow to make you his wife. vow to show everyone the way he looks at you, because that will never go away. matt almost selfishly knows you feel the same way, thinking about how you predicted the future of your best friends only half a year into their relationship. why would you stay with him if you didn’t feel that, too?

because when you know you know? right?

[arielburrow]

So It Goes

Your relationship with Joe seems to be a flame that was never put out.

“I just don’t see how this is ever going to work.” You struggle to get the words out through your sobs. Your hands cupped your face as you sat at the edge of your boyfriend's bed, his figure sulking above. “We keep telling ourselves we can push through but Joe we are miserable, and we aren’t anywhere near the end. You're going to Cincinnati in less than a month and I’m working out of Miami for at least the next three years!” Your cries become heavier as you feel his weight beside you as his head falls to your shoulder. You hear his silent cries as well.

“Your right…I hate it, but your right,” he mumbles into your shoulder. You pull him closer to you, grasping the fact that your relationship was inevitably at the end. “I mean really Joe, before I flew out here we shared what? Five texts in the last month? I barely made it to three games this season,” You whisper towards him. “I know, I know but baby you have to understand it won’t always be like that…just right now life is a whirlwind, and I just have to figure some things out but then-”

“Joey,” you cut him off. “You’ve been saying that for two years now…I mean i’ve accepted at this point your entire life is a whirlwind and I just don’t seem to fit into it.” You lift your head and stare blankly out of the window of his apartment. Thinking back to the first day you stepped foot in here and how optimistic you both were for the success of your long-distance relationship. You and Joe had been dating for two years back in Ohio and you’d be lying if you said those weren’t the best two years of your life. It started with innocent study sessions that eventually led to late-night conversations lying next to each other on his rickety dorm mattress. Before you knew it, he swept you off your feet and showed you what love really was. You remember the tears you wept when he first told you he decided on LSU. He immediately embraced you and you promised him they were “happy” tears and you were just so “excited” for his future. That being undoubtedly true, you never imagined how much Joe's life would change in the upcoming years, and how little you would be a part of it.

“y/n��I’m willing to wait, I promise you I don't care how much longer we’re apart for I’ll wait for the days when I get to wake up to you every morning.” he seemingly pleads as his head rises off your shoulder and you both meet each other's eyes. “Joe I am so beyond proud of everything this year has brought you and everything the next years are going to bring you. But, honey you know as well as I do that we are not the same people we were two year ago unpacking in this very apartment. Joe this is not a bad thing i need you to hear me, it’s just not healthy for either of us to keep dragging on a relationship that is fighting to keep its head above water.” You grab his hand and hold it close to you before you reluctantly stand and head for the door, tears streaming down your face as you reach for the handle.

“y/n…it’ll always be you, I promise even if we never see each other again, we both know deep down we were always meant for each other.”

That was four years ago

and as you stood in the mirror applying final touches to your face, it finally hit you. That gut feeling that you’ve had since you opened the invite but couldn’t quite put your finger on.

He’s going to be there.

There was no doubt about it. Sam was one of his best friends and it was the middle of the off-season. Hell he might even be in the wedding you think to yourself as you notice your face turn in the mirror. You both had lived about a million lives since you last saw each other which you know to be a fact due to your “surprising interest” in football whenever the Bengals were playing as your brother would joke. It was unintentional snooping on a life you swore you were putting an end to as soon as you got back to Florida. Of course your life carried on, you started dating again and made a great group of friends. But no matter what every Sunday you found yourself sat watching Joe through his brutal knee injury, Super bowl attempt, and current list of nagging injuries. Every now and then your mom would mention him over the phone but you were always quick to dismiss him, refusing to admit you still kept an eye on him. Besides the pit in your stomach, you were excited to watch your friend Sam marry his childhood best friend Ava and see all your friends you hadn’t gotten a chance to catch up with since moving back to the Ohio area. You moved back a couple of months ago, finding peace working with a new company that promised a more stationary enviorment for you. It was nice to be closer to family and friends and although it wasn’t considered Ohio, Covington was just under two miles from Cincinnati.

“Have you seen the gold hoops i laid out? I cant find them,” rachel comes into the room in a search. She was your best friend and you were so excited to be staying with her for the weekend, given she lived in down town cincy where the wedding was taking place. “here.” You hand her the earrings as she smiles.

“you look extra good,” she smirks bouncing your curls and flatting your dress once more. You roll your eyes knowing where she was going with this. “C'mon y/n, it’s been like a year since you’ve gotten laid, I just know tonight’s the night.” she laughs as she puts on her heels. “Your terrible, I’m not going to this wedding to get some, I’m going to celebrate our friends and-”

“you know he’s in the wedding right? I just wanted to warn you, Sam said he’s his best man,” she says looking up with a sympathetic smile. You sigh, “that’s good for him, glad him and Sam are still just as close.” You smile trying to brush off the conversation.

Arriving at the venue, you took in how beautifully decorated it was. White roses lined the entire isle and fairy lights were strung from each end of the ceiling. You and Rachel greeted familiar faces as you found your seats. You chatted for a bit with others, greeting both Sam and Ava’s parents. Soon after, silence fell as piano chords began to play and heads turned towards the double doors as they began to open. You watched as the party made its way down the aisle, some new faces, but for the most part, you recognized everyone.

Finally, you spotted him. His dirty blonde locks grown out long, framing his face in a way that brought out his features like no other. His frame was just as tall, just much more muscular in comparison to when you last saw him. He made his way down the aisle, arms locked with a pretty blonde with blue eyes. They walked with a sort of synchronicity, capturing every eye in the room even more than before. You couldn’t help but let out a smile at the fact that his eyes remained glued in-front of him, he seemed nervous. You felt Rachel poke your stomach, making you giggle a little. You hated to admit it, but he looked good, so good.

Finally Ava entered as everyone rose, she was such a beautiful bride and watching Sam’s reaction almost brought tears to your eyes. They looked so happy to be taking this step together and it pulled at your heartstrings knowing how far you still were from this step.

The ceremony started as you kept and eye on Joe, he still seemed to be in a trance just watching Sam, not taking note of the crowd. When they finally kissed, everyone stood in applause. You smiled as you scanned your eyes down the groomsmen once more, only to be stopped by a pair of blue eyes locked directly at you. You felt frozen for a moment, but forced yourself to let out a small smile, only met with a continuous face of shock from Joe. You would have probably stood there forever, however a shove from Rachel got you moving with the rest of the row out to the reception area.

Once everyone made their way to the much more open space with even more white roses and lights, you finally had a second to breath and take in what just happened. Everyone found their designated seat once again and watched as the bride and groom made their big entrance and began to make their way around greeting everyone.

You looked up to the wedding party table and immediately spotted him.

Well, not only him.

The same blonde you had assumed was only Ava’s maid of honor had her head rested on Joe’s shoulder and a hand on his chest. You took in her entire appearance. She was undoubtedly gorgeous and very petite compared to your taller figure. As your eyes scanned up you were met in a deadlock with Joe's eyes once again. His face was expressionless, but nonetheless, he had caught you in some sort of trance once again. Only shaking out of it when you heard Ava and Sam approaching your table. You greeted the two and chatted with them for a few minutes, trying to bury a growing feeling inside your stomach.

Before food was served, speeches were started by both sets of parents. All of them were beautifully worded and carefully thought out to honor the couple. As Joe stood to say his, you latched on to every word, secretly admiring the sincerity he had for his best friend. He kept it short but sweet, and of course, claps seemed a little louder after his. Finally, you watched as the blonde stood, introducing herself as Stephanie, she went on about her best friend Ava and you subconsciously tuned her out. You were brought back when Joe’s name was mentioned, specifically how, “thankful” she was for Sam bringing such a “special man” into her life. She smiled looking down at him and placing a hand on his shoulder as he looked up to her with a small smile. You couldn’t tell if you were more shocked at her words or the twisting in your stomach because of her words. The adoring coos from the audience didn’t help the feeling, and neither did the few glances you picked up from individuals who knew well of your past with Joe.

As the reception continued, the dance floor got more crowded and the music got louder as the night continued. Your mind was in a different place than it was an hour ago, you were actually enjoying dancing with your friends and catching up with people you hadn’t seen in years. “You want a drink?” you loudly ask Rachel over the music as she dances next to you. “No thanks! Still working on this one!” she shows you her drink and you nod, letting her know you’d be at the bar. You hopped up on a barstool greeting the bartender with a smile as you rattled off your order. Turning away only for a second to look at the dance floor, you were startled when you turned back, noticing who had joined you.

“vodka soda please.” Joe orders from the man and slowly turns his head towards you with a smile. You can’t help but giggle a little. “How are you still drinking the same thing from college? Some things really never change I guess.” You raise your eyebrows as you take a sip from your drink. “Hello to you too.” He sarcastically replies making you both smile a little. “I honestly had no idea you were going to be here, I mean i can’t believe Sam didn’t mention it,” he states. “Yeah well it was great timing, I moved to the Covington area a few months ago so I was excited to come see everyone again,” you reply trying to make casual conversation. “Wow…I had no idea you were back, I mean i’m just really surprised to see you after all this time.” His eyes softened a bit and you could’ve sworn he had gotten closer. “You look really great, y/n” his words are quieter and you swear you see a shift in his eyes. You blush a bit at his words and fail to hide it. “Thank you, so do you. How have you been doing?” you reply trying to change the path of the conversation. “I’m alright, just making it through the off-season right now after such a shitty season. Looking forward to some trips and stuff,” he reply’s with a shrug. “That’s nice, I’m glad you let yourself relax a little,” You give him a genuine smile. Your eyes both lingered on each other a little too long, leaving you both in a blushed giggle. “So are you still working the same job,” he questions. “No, I mean technically yeah, but for a different company. I wasn’t happy anymore and felt like I couldn’t move up at all. Now I can stay here and feel a lot more productive with what I’m actually doing.” you stop yourself from going on not wanting to bombard him with a vent. “That’s nice you can stay in one place now, wish it could’ve been like that a couple years ago.” He laughs to himself but immediately regrets his word choice seeing your reaction. You felt a ping of guilt. He was right, things would be so different if you hadn’t uprooted your whole life for a job you wouldn’t even end up settling on. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong.” His hand inched toward yours but he stopped himself, seeming to be fighting an internal conflict. “It’s okay” you give him a reassuring smile.

You two continue to catch up and throw back a couple more drinks which you couldn’t even deny you were heavily feeling. You both watched the movement on the dance floor and your eyes fell on Stephanie who you had caught suspiciously watching Joe a few times throughout the night. Your mind honestly no longer had a say in what your words were. “So…” you press on “Stephanie seems nice!” You say with a clearly high octave in your voice making Joe laugh and shake his head. “Yeah..Yeah you know Sam introduced us, and we basically went on a double date and all and you know, it’s all good.” He finishes off his drink and places it on the bar with a hint of aggression. You watch her make her way off the dance floor and towards you and Joe. She pulls him off the barstool, clearly ignoring you and drags him to dance. He was clearly just as drunk as you which you felt partially at fault for, but decided to go find Rachel. You searched around for a bit but couldn’t seem to find her anywhere. You noticed Stephanie taking a selfie with Joe from across the room which he seemed antsy to get away from. You figured maybe Rachel took a step outside so made your way to the lit-up back patio area. You felt a sharp breeze as you stepped outside, regretting not bringing a coat as you held your arms and began to walk in search of her. After a long walk around the venue, you felt less under the influence and took a deep breath before you were stopped in your tracks.

“you just seem to be everywhere tonight.” You Joke, causing Joe's head to turn from where he was leaning on the railing looking out towards the city. “You look absolutely freezing,” his eyebrows raise as you accept the spot next to him. “just a bit” you joke, not expecting what he does next. You feel his suit jacket rest over your shoulders and a feeling of warmth overcomes you, something greater than just the feeling of a jacket. You look up to him with a smile before looking back towards the city. You both stood there, in absolute silence, for what felt like an eternity. The sun was long set by now, and the city glowed as each building outlined its own unique story. Your eyes traced each one, you felt so in touch at this moment, probably partially due to the alcohol, and partially due to something much greater than that.

Joe was the first to break the silence. “y/n…I’m really glad I got to see you, I really thought I’d never see you again.” he admits keeping his eyes ahead. You take a deep breath before speaking. “Yeah me too Joe, i’m glad everything worked out for us you know? We both got what we wanted in the end.” You said trying to convince yourself your words held truth. Joe seemed happy and like he had it all, you on the other hand felt like a lost puppy. He lets out a breath as his head drops before he turns to you. “Are you happy?” he asks. You freeze at the question, such simple words left you so complexed. Your silence seemingly answers his question. “Y/n…I told you a long time ago how much you mean to me, I just want you to know that hasn’t changed.” You both turn to each other at his words. “Joe-” you start but he cuts you off.

“Just listen. You ended things a long time ago with us and I let you. But I shouldn’t have, I should’ve fought harder and you know, I guess I just wanted you to know I’m sorry, for not fighting harder.” he stares into your eyes in a way you knew all too well. A feeling you hadn’t felt in years crept back into your body as you felt yourself gravitate towards him. You feel him pick up your hand as he moves in. His other hand meets your chin as he lifts your head towards his.

Inches away,

You feel your nose graze his, and in a quick second, you are met with the only lips that have ever meant anything to you.

Part two here

[puckpocketed]

ok the stick story is this

according to The Hockey Media, who as we know do not actually follow any teams closely so know NOTHING, ovechkin was finally hit by father time. he's finally slowing down. he's a shell of his old self. he has old man syndrome. blah blah blah

as a caps fan, i know that this is false, because our russian machine never break. he's a freak. who btw had like 13 goals disallowed or something crazy like that in the first half of last season but i digress

gee i wonder why ovechkin's goals went down? is it because his longtime center and future hall of famer nicklas backstrom retired in all but name? is it because our other top 6 center in evgeny kuznetsov had by far the worst season of his career (from point a game to not even half a point a game) and then went into the player's assistance program before being traded to the canes and then bolting for the KHL?

actually, as it turns out: no.

i mean probably those were factors, but there was another factor. a factor that many caps fans are very aware of but almost no one reported on for some reason (probably because they were too busy writing about how SiDneY CrOsBy was having SuCh an AmaZiNg season for a 36 year old despite ovechkin literally having just as a good a season the year prior at the *checks notes* age of 36. also this is a reminder that one of those two actually led their team to a playoff berth and it wasn't crosby)

ovechkin is, among other things, an elite shooter. like many elite shooters, he is EXTREMELY picky about his sticks. he has been using the same CCM model for the last 7 seasons...and prior to this season they discontinued it.

the first half of the season (roughly), ovi was constantly trying out new sticks from CCM, from Bauer, whoever. he tried quite a few different sticks. results: 8 goals in 43 games.

then, ovechkin found an independent supplier. apparently (i can't remember where this info came out, maybe 32 thoughts?), these guys have an "ovi pro curve" model based on his old stick with CCM and he bought it and tried it out. curve was identical, and it felt right to him. started using those. results: 23 goals in 36 games.

am i saying that he is going to continue on that pace this coming season? probably not. do i think that the rumors of his demise as a goal scorer are greatly exaggerated and almost surely mistaken? yes. am i optimistic that with some stability in our center depth and stability in stick choice, ovechkin will have a 40 goal season again and possibly break wayne gretzky's all time goals record? YES.

what this means for PLD our beloved failhorse wife: he's not getting some washed up old man former great on his wing. he's getting the greatest fucking goal scorer in the history of the sport. and i, for one, am excited to see what they can do together.

link i thought about this all morning during baking and while i was out!! thank you for the stick explanation and all the sources i LOVE citations i am eating them up like theyre cakes at teatime....! more under the cut but heres what i was thinking about when i read this:

thinking about how,, particular some players get about their equipment, how superstitious, it's crazy to me that a manufacturer can just do all that. if it were me and MYE special stick got discontinued id be suing for damages

i was super interested in what actually changed in the second half of the season because i saw ovechkin was back to scoring basically at-will again, so really thank you for explaining.. the bond between a hockey and their stick is so beaugtiful <3

cr-sby is my babygirl-in-law and i fear i will always be fond of him because of this, so i shall tread carefully here (pens friends look away) it DOES suck that they're not recognising your old man for his achievements while that old man gets hyped. is it like, weird anti-russian sentiment? or a more general anti-caps bias? every team fan space i dip into feels unfairly maligned one way or another - which, yeah! clenching my fist of rage.......

you spin such a tale and im VERY excited to see how next szn shakes out in light of all this and also . grabbing dubois by the scruff of his neck like i will stan either way but PLEASE dont embarrass me in front of my cool new friends kjlasdklasdkl....

thank you so much for stopping by and for the warmest welcome ever <3

[collegetennisoriginstory]

Update plans for CT:OS Chapter 4

Some exciting announcements! 📢

I'm done with writing / coding the first part of Chapter 4 for CT:OS, and making good progress on the second part! 🔥

I wanted to update everyone on how things are going, and share some of the main juicy bits you'll be able to expect for the chapter + set down some TENTATIVE (!! don't shoot me, I'm always overly optimistic 🫣) dates for the Chapter 4 release.

The first part will be romance/friendship-heavy, and the second part will be mostly tennis-heavy.

Pt. 1 (roughly +45k words, 10k words in a single playthrough)

Have dinner with Tobin at their house*, though you might have a... tough conversation after [things might get saucy!] (achievement up for grabs) 🍳

Bump into Rayyan in the tennis courts at night** 🌘, vent some frustrations, and potentially resolve some... issues! [locker room pt. 2, rebranded slightly] (achievement up for grabs)

Convince the coaches to let you swap doubles partners (or stick with your original one)—find out if Tobin or Rayyan will be your partner for the season!

Study sesh with G at the Haynes student lounge before the match on Friday 👩‍🎓🧑‍🎓, voice some of your niggling worries [or... redefine the meaning of... 'studying'] (achievement up for grabs)

Bonus Rayyan**, Sam, and Tobin*** POV scenes (though Tobin's scene is a little short, sorry)

Pt. 2 (unsure, roughly looking like maybe 50k with code?)

Reunion with Sam (if you'd asked them to come visit Cargill for the weekend & watch your first match of the season) 🎊

Say hi to G, D, and your other hallmates who've come to cheer you on

Kickstart the season proper against Cornell 🎾 (bust out your chops with your newly minted doubles partner, and prove your mettle in your singles match) [will you win or lose your doubles and singles match, and will Cargill clinch the overall win?] (achievement up for grabs)

Or, if you're not selected to play, sit next to Sam, and your hallmates, and cheer the rest of your team on! (yes, you will might have to explain some rules)

*If Tobin had invited you in Chapter 3 **If Rayyan had been assigned to be your doubles partner originally ***If some things to down at the Tobin dinner.

Dates

Pt. 1

Send to beta-testers: 2 Sep

Early-release: 9 Sep (probably minimally edited)

Public release: 23 Sep (to give me some time to edit)

Pt. 2

Send to beta-testers: 16 Sep

Early-release: 23 Sep (probably minimally edited)

Public release: 7 Oct (to give me some time to edit)

Future patches

I am still working to revamp the romance system, so you might find very inconsistent romance coding

Can't wait to share it with you all!! In the meantime, I'll be plugging away diligently :)

Love you guys! <3

[doueverwonder]

Calilliyork

What are each of their favorite things about each other???

y'all gotta stop sending me good asks when i'm at work and have to wait to respond to them >:\

So like obviously they all deeply appreciate each others ability to see past just the cities they’re known for. It’s why they’re all dating in the first place.

for Illinois pls reference this post first; okay, so knowing that I think he has the same favorite thing about NY and California and it's how sure they are of everything they do, they know what they want and/or what needs to be done and they're going to get it. He'd admire this about them even if they weren't dating, but knowing them that closely just adds to it.

California considers themself a pacifist, but she may fall in love all over again every time NY jumps to defend her. Cali got used to having to be 'me, myself, and i' and since it started dating York takes immense comfort in knowing there's someone right there willing to throw hands for her.

For California's favorite thing about Illinois; its favorite thing I think would just be the finding someone else who feels the same way in their region. No one in the West cares for California all the time, and it's the same with Illinois in the Midwest. There's this relief in falling for someone that is so easy to confide in.

If you ask New York his favorite thing about either of them he'll say "They're less annoying than most people" which roughly translates to "how the fuck am I supposed to pick something they're both so perfect???"

If he had to pick though, I think for California it would be their ability to just go with the flow, and more importantly drag others into the flow. York is horrible at taking breaks and changing plans last minute, his life used to be scheduled to the second and now Cali is making him drop things because she decided last minute it wants to go to the beach and watch the sunset. And god does he love them for it.

for Illinois, Illi is a bit more of a realist now, but fundamentally he always has and always will be the optimist to York's pessimist. When they first really were getting to know each other Chicago was the fastest growing city in recorded history; and gosh was Illinois excited about it back then. NY kinda had this 'wow he doesn't know what comes with all this'. Then the Chicago fire happened and by the time York gets there Illinois is already up and about touting on about how it 'could have been worse'. and in 1893 Illinois is dragging York around Chicago's world fair and he's so excited about the future, and who is York to ruin his dreams. New York is always going to be a pessimist but the only reason he hasn't completely given up yet is because of Illinois.

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

I really can't watch it anymore lmaoooooo. I fastforwarded through the first half of an episode and it's just Alicent Alicent Alicent, Aemond is a background character. Were his scenes from the trailers just cut? Oh my god, they really do hate him

Hi!

After watching 5 episodes of the new season I am more inclined to think that the writers do not even actually hate Aemond - they just use him. After season 1, when he gained huge popularity, they exploited it to attract more attention to the show. And now it looks like they decided to, so to say, use him in limited doses, just enough to fulfill the purpose which many other male HotD characters serve: to show how cruel the men in this story are and how women suffer because of it - and an additional one, which is to prove that there is no unity between the Greens and how dysfunctional they are as a family.

Obviously, I don't know Ewan and have no way of knowing what he truly thinks about the way Aemond has been written in season 2. The actors are not really free to speak their minds during the promo tour so their words should be taken with a grain of salt (as we have already had the opportunity to learn). But I can't help but remember several moments from the promo: the way he said that Aemond would probably be the most hated character after season 2 comes out; the sadness and disappointment in his voice when on a podcast he talked about how Aemond was about to have several opportunities to do things right but then the viewers would be disappointed by him (he added "or maybe you won't" as an afterthought but it didn't sound that convincing, to be honest); the lightning speed and the uncomfortable expression with which he said that he couldn't wait to see the dynamic between Aegon and Aemond in season 2. So, while generally Ewan seemed really excited about bringing his character to the screen, I don't believe he was (and is) completely happy about the way Aemond has been treated by the writers - which is, well, understandable.

I know this is not going to happen for various reasons but at this point I keep catching myself thinking that it would not be that bad if Ewan just told the HBO people and the Condal crew to go fuck themselves and left the show. As much as I love seeing his Aemond on my screen (even though now the love is mixed with bitterness), I am not really optimistic about Aemond's future in HotD.

[maleyanderecafe]

Get to Know Coffee Date! (Visual Novel)

Created by: Foxin 'Round

Genre: Horror/ Romance

This one is a oneshot in introduction to the character Teddy, and it's a fun little game to play. While there isn't any real big content, we do get to learn more about Teddy's life and point of view, which all climaxes near the end depending on how you view the game. This game is r18 though despite not having any r18 content. You can find more about this game at @foxinround.

I'm going to be using the MC because while Big Chungus is an amazing default name I'm going to die laughing before I can get through the summary section if I use that name.

The story starts out with the MC hanging out at a cafe near their university enjoying the scene when a guy asks to sit across from them. After accepting this, we learn that his name is Teddy and we start to talk to him about various things. He will ask about the type of drink we have and if we choose the sweetest flavor he will agree as he's also a sweet tooth. He will then pick up his drink and the two talk more about their lives, with the MC aiming for a major in Computer Science and Teddy taking care of his grandmother at home. The MC will actually give a recommendation of their own drinks from the cafe that they work at, slying trying to get him to check it out. The two talk about what kind of frappe the MC has and if they choose the sweetest option again, Teddy will stare strangely at them, something that the MC notices but ultimately shrugs off. The two continue talking about the type of languages that the MC will take, with us learning that Teddy is a bit of a romantic and wants to learn French as well as being fluent in Spanish. Teddy will then talk about love and how he wants to experience love in the world, viewing it more optimistically with them asking how the MC feels about it. If the MC responds the same, wanting to see the world in a more positive light, then Teddy will begin laughing, stating how rare it is two have two people connect so easily like this. He believes the two are destined for each other and as his obsession grows, the MC eventually passes out.

If you don't choose all of the viable options with him or have different opinions, then Teddy will ask the MC for their number instead.

The story is pretty short but it does give an idea on how Teddy is as a character as he's romantic, fairly optimistic and family oriented. It's kind of interesting seeing how he thinks considering that you do have to have a similar opinion to even have him get to the yandere ending. It actually caught me off guard for a bit because I did actually match with Teddy's point of view initially which landed me right into the yandere ending at the end. I'm not sure why the MC ends up passing out in that ending, I'm assuming it's just a way for them to end the game, but if they did, I am curious how and when Teddy was able to drug them since we don't get to see when that happens. I'm probably overthinking it though. His design is pretty unique too with one of the few pink haired yandere guys that we have. I am curious how later on his point of view and the MC will have in future games and what exactly Teddy will do to them.

The MC, though brief in this game was pretty fun as well. We get to know that they work in another barista and they seem like a pretty nice person, which does make sense especially if the yandere ending is the most cannon one in this game you would want to have an MC that is able to match him in terms of energy and point of view.

While it was a short game, I do think it was a good introduction for Teddy, being able to see what kind of viewpoint he has. I am hoping to be able to see more of his family in the future and I'm excited for what will be coming.

[bengiyo]

Only Boo! Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Moo got too excited the night before his audition and was late. Potae was off his game due to nerves, and he and Moo got into a fight about their mistakes. Jang, an idol, took a shine to Payos. Only Payos passed the audition. Kang rejected Shone, and has confirmed boyfriends with Moo.

If this show must contrive intimacy delays, I like the hand kissing as an indication that Kang wants to.

Episode 8: My Boo

I love that the date montage takes place over just a few days. Moo has been waiting and needs to get it in.

Oh ho, negotiating forms of address.

Kabedon!

I love Moo wanting to cook for Kang, and also that he's so serious about the tone they're using with each other.

This pre-separation anxiety feels very high school in a way that is landing solidly for me. I do like Moo a lot.

Oof, getting some Theory of Love flashbacks on Khai making Third deal with the girlfriends.

Once again glad that a confession was a fantasy because it felt so off. Another reminder to the audience.

Now which screenwriter is working out something in this script with this lament about who gets the opportunity versus who works for it the hardest?

I get that we don't have time to introduce more parents, by how is a minor signing this contract?

Okay, I like Moo glaring at Potae to speak nicely to Payos.

We're a bit late in the show, but I'm okay with Jang showing up as a complication for the side romance.

Moo's confidence about his attraction to Kang is so special.

I like Moo's song, but the tuning on the voices is strong.

I doubt Payos will confess this episode.

Are we back to wondering if the realities of public life will force Moo into the closet? I feel like I don't trust this show about this anymore.

This episode is so optimistic about the romantic future for our leads that I'm instinctively expecting a major crash at the end of this episode.

Did they intend to give Moo a graduation haircut??

I remain a fan of the teachers in this show. Reminding students that they are the ones who did the work to get through these challenges is the last lesson.

Not this teacher making me cry because he wanted to get his student's autograph.

Well well well, Payos managed to express it this episode.

This kiss feels like they worked hard on calibrating it for where the characters are and the experience level of the actors.

Interesting! We're progressing to cohabitation in college next week. That doesn't happen often. The only example that rushes to mind is Utsukushii Kare.

This was a fun episode that didn't end on a downer like I feared. I am never sure where this show wants to go, but I'm glad we got to see our leads transition into their sweet boyfriends era. I still don't know why Shone was in this show, because his absence meant nothing this week. I grow to love Moo more every week, and I wanna talk to this writing team about how they conceived Dynamite and Moo someday.

[insurrection-if]

TW / Content Warning: death, loss, euthanasia

Apologies for oversharing after such a long period of silence, but tonight has cemented my thoughts towards this blog and its future status.

My eldest dog, Charlie, has passed away at the near age of thirteen. After his health scare in February, he had seemingly recovered and pepped back up to his usual goofy mama’s boy self. I am so thankful for these last several weeks I was able to enjoy with him, and feel so blessed to have seen him hold the strength that he did up until last night.

His condition plummeted rapidly and suddenly last afternoon. The veterinarians at the emergency clinic suspected a brain tumor yesterday, alongside (a) stroke(s), and confirmed this diagnosis just before he finally passed. We didn’t even have the time or money to undergo further testing to affirm what was then a theorized, tenuous diagnosis before it was clear that his time had come. It is confirmed to us now that cancer, not an infection, has likely been the main instigator of his health scare back in February. It’s a blessing that he didn’t suffer or dampen in his joy these past several weeks, up until yesterday, while afflicted with this illness.

Charlie used to be my great-grandfather’s dog. We took him into our home after my great-grandfather passed and his home was lost to our family. Charlie came to us in such poor health, and amazed us all with his recovery and clumsy energy these past two years. At that time, those most optimistic were projecting he only had a few months or so, and to see him having lived so long a full a life in the time he’s been under our roof (for far longer than anyone had foreseen) has been a wonder beyond comprehension. For the gift of his companionship, I cannot express enough of my gratitude.

I truly believe he’s in a better place. Goodness, I cried and prayed my heart out last night when I just absolutely felt in my soul what was around the corner - even when the clinic had then cleared him to come home and told us he would be fine. And even with all this time to be with him and give my goodbyes, it still doesn’t feel right to not have him walking into my room and insisting he be carried up to the bed all with a little wiggle of excitement in his hips.

These past few years were a good life for him. Even yesterday, when he began to show signs of and fall deep into weakness, confusion, and fatigue he still wagged his tail when I laid my hand on him and tried his best to follow the sound of my voice.

For those of you less interested in my personal matters and more so in just whatever content I can produce, this event has finalized some thoughts I’d been having a week or so before this in regard to this blog.

This is not a hiatus. Rather, this blog will be silent until I have a form of demo (‘short’ still in length) that I’m satisfied enough with to share. It’s been stressful balancing this guilt of not responding enough and the guilt of responding too much on this blog. And, with this great loss in my life, I don’t think I will regain the right headspace to manage this blog and my responses on it anytime soon.

Apologies for the silence and, now, the suddenness of this change in matters.

For all those with pets, whether they be full of health or struggling a little more with their once daily routine, please take the time to really show them all the love and care you hold for them each day. Please cherish your time with them, be kind to them, and form as many close memories as you can with them. It’s so easy to take time we have with them for granted. I’m so glad to have provided the home I did for Charlie, and hope he knows just I much I loved him and will keep loving him even now that he’s gone ahead of me to our next destination.

Again, apologies for becoming too personal with all this. The emotional wound is still so fresh and I simply hoped to vent as I clarified my current stance around this narrative. So many of you have been the absolute embodiment of gracious patience and abundant kindness with me and my nonsense here on this blog, and I thank you all deeply for it.

Here’s to hoping I return sooner rather than later with something good, or at least decent, to share.

See you soon.

[quincywillows]

a scattered and overall supportive review of percy jackson season 1

let me just say first of all, it's extremely fun to be enthused about a tv show like this again. the adaptation isn't perfect, but it's a lot of fun, and you can tell there's plenty of heart and good intention behind what they're doing. i'm very much enjoying tuning in every couple of episodes and catching up -- and avoiding the relentless commentary of the internet while i do so lol.

but now it's time for MY commentary!! to preface, i was a huge fan of the books when i was younger, am a stalwart long-term advocate of the original five books as some of the best children's lit of our lifetime, but i also enjoyed the films a decade ago for what they were and think people (including cough rick cough) are way too harsh about them. justice for logan lerman. anyway

i'm not going to do like a play-by-play, but in summary, here are my takeaways from the first season -- what i thought worked, what did not, and things i'm optimistic about going into the future seasons.

the good

for an adaptation of the original series (which, to be fair, i have not reread in years), i felt this was honest and faithful. there were tweaks, obviously, but none that took me too out of it or felt irredeemable. there was a lot to like about this show, so i want to start right from the top with my highest highs.

the worldbuilding / production design. i absolutely loved getting to see how they imagined certain iconic characters, locations, and sequences from the books. it was so exciting to get to see camp halfblood for the first time on screen (at least, in this adaption) -- that moment in episode two definitely felt like a turning point where we picked up from the somewhat laggy pilot episode. i especially loved the design of mount olympus, aspects of the underworld (hades and his upside down castle were baller, though how did percy and grover get up there lol; and i absolutely loved the choice for asphodel and the ghosts being rooted like trees, i never would've thought of that myself but it was so chilling and unique... just wish i could see it better through the terrible lighting, but we'll come back to that), and of course, camp. even down to the small details, like the camp beads... it's just very cool to see it come to life.

the casting. i wasn't sure about some of the casting when the news was breaking, but i'm very happy to have been pleasantly surprised all around (and have majorly avoided people bitching about every single thing). there wasn't any role where i felt like someone was horribly miscast, and you could tell that everyone involved really wanted to be there and committed. i thought the casting of the gods was especially inspired at times. some of the highlights for me personally:

adam copeland as ares. i had no idea he was apparently a wrestler turned actor until my sister told me, but i thought he was absolutely spectacular. very charismatic, with just the right amount of cringefail that ares needed. i found him thoroughly enjoyable in all his scenes.

lance reddick as zeus. having just played horizon zero dawn recently, oh my lorde was this an inspired choice. he was absolutely brilliant. i'm so so sad about his passing, i don't know how they're going to recapture his performance, but i have faith now that they'll find a way.

timothy omundson as hephaestus. i love that they took a softer, more mad scientist approach to his role than like ugly basement blacksmith vibes... i just thought it was really refreshing. his scene with annabeth, where we got so much humanity from him in such a short span of time, was one of my favorite scenes of the season.

jason mantzoukas as dionysus. i mean. what else can be said. obvious choice, but he was so fun lol. i hope they give him more to do next season.

other standouts beyond the main youth cast for me were jay duplass as hades (his brief appearance in 107 was thoroughly enjoyable) and dior goodjohn as clarisse (she was by far the acting standout of the first couple episodes to me). also very happy to see jessica kennedy parker and sinclair from the 100 get work, lol.

walker as percy jackson. it was really wonderful watching walker grow as an actor even just through the first eight episodes. the difference from 101 to 108 is almost night and day. you can tell how much he cares about the project and percy as a character, and he upped his game with every episode. i cannot wait to see what he turns out in the coming seasons. to be fair, i thought all of the youth cast did a decent job, and i'm giving them a lot of leeway and room to grow since they are literally child actors -- it takes time to hone your craft, and im optimistic they're all going to do a great job as the series goes on. but walker was, definitively and thankfully as the protagonist, the standout.

charlie bushnell as luke. i was so excited when i heard he got cast because i loved him in diary of a future president, and he did not disappoint. i kind of wish he had more to do, but all of that was forgiven in the finale when he had his final confrontation with percy. oh, the acting popped off then -- i can't wait for him to get to chew up the scenery more in the coming seasons.

grover and percy's friendship. it was so sweet to see this come alive, and i thought walker and aryan had excellent natural chemistry together. they were so endearing, and i really believed their friendship basically from the start (them swapping their sandwich fillings is a tiny detail from the pilot that has stuck with me since; i just loved that choice so much). they definitely provided a lot of my favorite moments in the season, and i think evoked the most genuine "aw wow" moments from me.

percy's relationship with sally. since sally was, understandably, absent from the original novel, it was awesome to get the flashbacks here that allowed us to more deeply understand their bond. i thought walker and virginia did a great job with this, and the young actor who played little percy also did a surprisingly great job (he was actually one of the stronger youth actors in the pilot imo lol). you totally understood why percy was doing everything he was, because that mother-son bond felt believable. big shout-out to the absolutely baller line "i am sally jackson's son." one of the first writing moments where i was like oh snap!

the music. a good score really can't be understated, and this one did not disappoint. did just what it needed to do. i also loved the closing title sequence and the art direction there with the epic music -- just such a nice touch that i'm so glad they included.

some of the writing. i'll get more into some of my qualms with the writing below, but there were definitely some great moments that deserve their flowers. i thought they did a great job weaving in some early themes without being heavy-handed about it (percy having to define who he is for himself, mostly). there were some genuinely funny moments that made me laugh out loud, including "i am impertinent," annabeth's "i'm multitalented," and the entire exchange on the road side when the trio to ares are like no... we're fine... ahaha bye... oh and percy trying to drive the taxi out of the garage at the casino was absolutely hysterical.

pivotal scenes hitting their mark. when the show needed to deliver, i thought they really delivered. i absolutely loved the staging and acting in the final luke and percy confrontation -- the lighting of the fireworks was such a cinematic touch. percy's arrival at olympus and scene with zeus was also a big standout. i loved a lot of the st. louis arch episode, and thought the hephaestus golden chair sequence was really well done. overall, the episodes i thought were strongest were without a doubt 104, 105, and 108.

expansion where expansion was welcome. one of my favorite aspects of the series is how it's giving more nuance to the monsters and "villains" of the books. i loved that we got a little more motivation for alecto beyond evil -- that she clearly wanted to accomplish her own mission and retrieve the helm, whether out of loyalty or fear. i loved how medusa got much more depth and humanity, that we're sort of reexamining the fairness of how myths are told rather than just taking it all at face value. i'm really looking forward to seeing how that continues in the next seasons.

the decent

percy and annabeth. to be fair, i think my issue with this is more on the fan reaction than the show itself. i think the show is doing a decent, if somewhat awkwardly paced job, of building their friendship and offering small little hints of what could blossom in the future in classic youth awkward ways -- unexpected hugs, banter, etc. i think walker and leah are both doing a good job, and i look forward to seeing how it develops. but my god, people on the internet are really jumping the shark so hard here. i can't handle seeing more "uwu percy is in love" posts when it's like. y'all. THEY ARE 12. THEY JUST MET. LET THEM ORGANICALLY BECOME FRIENDS FIRST... i just hope the creators don't feed into that and also jump the shark. like yes, we all know where this is going, but can't we enjoy the actual journey to get there instead of forcing what isn't there yet? in any case, on the positive side, some of the moments between them i really enjoyed: the conversation on the train when grover was asleep, the hephaestus chair sequence, annabeth giving him her camp beads before going to olympus (that was a slay... that was a legendary slow burn start moment worth hyping up), the way percy smiled at her in their last scene... that's the good stuff. let's not rush through what we're getting folks. the water is fine.

lin manuel as hermes. here is the thing. i thought lin did a good job. i thought his casting was apt, and fun, and he did a great balance of hermes charisma and like, a darker edge. it's just... the thing about lin manuel is that he's lin manuel. and this is coming from someone who likes him, but it's like he shows up on screen and i'm just like. hey it's lin manuel. it's a bit of a "takes you out of the moment" stunt casting, but i'm not mad about it. i wouldn't call it a bad thing. hopefully it'll wear off (though i doubt it). i guess i'm just deciding that hermes is just lin manuel, which honestly, would kind of track.

the youth acting. mentioned this above, but again, some of that early delivery was rough. but i am giving a lot of grace, and i think they've already improved plenty in the first eight episodes. i felt the same way about shadowhunters back in the day when i thought kat mcnmara was hard to watch in season 1, but by season 3 she was my absolute favorite cast member and came so far. i have no doubt these kiddos will do the same. so very much looking forward to that.

the not so great

the pacing. this was definitely the weakest part of the story writing wise. it wasn't irredeemable, but it did hinder the first half of the show (which didn't lock in for me until about 104, when the stakes truly shot up at st. louis). and that also affected how dynamics and plot points were able to unravel. the biggest victim of this...

the luke reveal. from the start, i was worried about this. since luke was only really in episode 2, i had doubts about whether the reveal of his betrayal would be at all satisfying or earned. i don't know that i can speak on it for sure, since i knew what was going to happen as someone who read the books, but i still feel we should have gotten more of those luke-and-percy-bonding scenes and convos earlier in the series rather than tacked onto the finale as flashbacks. it worked there, but i think it could've been better. thankfully, all of that didn't hinder the delivery of the finale confrontation, which as i said, was a standout moment for me.

the fight scenes. with rare exception, i was pretty underwhelmed with many of the monster battles and confrontations this season. given that's such a huge gimmick of the novels, i hope they're able to revisit and polish up the pacing of these in the future... i just felt that scenes like the museum clash with dodds were so rushed and anticlimactic. or not even confrontations at all, like the scene with crusty. we got a bit more of this at the back half of the season, in the sword fights with ares and luke, but i wanted more of that epic feeling throughout. i'm hoping it's maybe just a budget concern and that it'll improve in the coming seasons -- especially as the bosses get bigger and the stakes get higher -- but i'm not sure i'm optimistic just yet.

some of the dialogue. it was... wooden, to say the least. i think the worst moments of this were when they were trying to force Kid Bants -- which just felt stilted in the earlier episodes -- and whenever they were explaining greek myths point blank to the audience. there were moments it worked, but many where it didn't, and i hope they flesh out how to better info dump in the future episodes. i didn't mind the change of having percy be more familiar with the myths and thus more aware, but they could afford to finesse how they relay that information to us in the audience without basically reading from wikipedia in percy's voice.

the ugly

oh my god i can't see. i can't SEE. this show went to the teen wolf academy of employing one lightbulb and it's actually criminal. there were so many scenes where i really wanted to see what was happening because the stakes were high or the scenery was so pivotal -- the entry into the underworld for the first time, the vastness of medusa's basement of stone, THE FIELDS OF ASPHODEL -- but the lighting was so god awful i legitimately couldn't see a thing. in asphodel i literally could barely see the trio's expressions, it was that bad / flat. the audience is smart, we understand it's dark out. we can suspend our disbelief so you can add some visibility to this thing. i was turning up my brightness constantly but it wouldn't go any higher. please, disney execs, rick, anyone -- GET ANOTHER LIGHTBULB. i'm losing key immersive aspects of the show to this and it's a bummer. when they were walking through waterland for the first time and annabeth was like "wow can you believe this craftsmanship" i was like i don't know, girl, I CAN'T SEE ANY OF IT. begging on my knees that they fix this next season.

well, that ended up longer than expected, but oh my gods it is so nice to be writing paragraphs about a tv show again. all in all, i'd say 7.5/10 from me in this first season. there's so much to be keen for here, and i'm really happy with how it's going so far.

friends and fellow demigods, what did we all think?

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Waiting for the Storm

Prologue

Series Masterlist Chapter 1

pairing: Michael Kinsella x fem!Reader 

summary: "If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine." -Morris West

When Michael's release day finally arrives, he isn't too optimistic about his future. The most he's hoping for is a relationship with his daughter and a new path forward. The world, however, has bigger plans for him after he meets a timid, yet lovely, children's book illustrator who has more in common with him than it seems.

warnings: swearing, emotional and physical abuse (very brief descriptions here but these will be recurring themes in this story), descriptions of prison, descriptions of family loss

a/n: Ahhhh! My first Mikey story because I FINALLY had inspiration. I am way too excited about this WIP so I really hope this lil tidbit gets y'all intrigued! The general vibes will be fluff and hurt/comfort because Mikey deserves to be comforted. I hope you all enjoy!

w/c: ~900

There was something comforting about the rain. Peaceful and cleansing. Water vapor rising unburdened by the impurities of the ground to the heavens and falling back again like a gift, washing away the sins below with every splattering drop. 

When she was a child, the other girls bemoaned their hometown’s climate and constant precipitation. “Rain brings noise, and floods, and mud, and worms!” They’d lament to her after every storm. She never knew how to tell them that none of those consequences bothered her. 

Floods were rare, and more a symptom of poor drainage systems than the rain itself. Mud was mostly avoidable, and easy to wash away. Worms were necessary for composting and agriculture, not to mention completely harmless. 

The noise, well, this she understood. When she was a toddler the loud smashes of thunder and cracks of lightning terrified her too—scaring her under the covers night after night, hands clamped over her ears. But then her life became less quiet, and the storms were less loud by comparison. 

See when your home is full of screaming, and crying,  and the echoing slap of skin hitting skin, thunder is a lot more appealing. It’s easy to focus on. If you try hard enough, you can let it drown out the sounds of your father putting another hole in the drywall, of your mother’s car pulling out of the driveway for the last time—the tires screeching as she leaves you behind.  

The spattering of rain against the windows became her anchor whenever the universe was kind enough to offer it to her. When her father rages around the house, destroying every trace of his estranged wife, she would lay in bed—eyes glued to the droplets splashing against the glass. 

On the especially bad nights, she pictured a safe haven: a set of cliffs, composed of worn shale threaded with lush green grass. She could feel the cracked sandstone through the fabric of her pajamas as she sat along the edge. Fat raindrops drenched her scalp, trailing down her face, over her heavy eyelids and exposed collar bone. The ground beneath her grew increasingly damp, each swirl of water wafting the scent of petrichor towards her nose. Somewhere in the distance, waves crested over rocks—the sound getting lost in the patter of the rain. 

As she aged, she continued to dream of this place. Throughout her tumultuous teenage years and every disagreement with her father. Each and every time she felt lonely after moving to another, sunnier, state for her bachelor’s degree. 

The image was especially helpful as her relationship with Xavier turned sour. Every insult, threat, and smack fading into the drum of raindrops on rock. She’d lay awake at night, bruises blooming on her limbs, imagining the rain. 

And it was the steady pounding of droplets on the roof that gave her the courage to pack her things and leave. Trekking across town, over multiple bus routes, until she stood her friendly coworker’s doorstep—soaked to the bone, and more unhurried than she’d been in years, all thanks to the rain. 

Michael had never minded the rain. A symptom of living in Dublin his whole life, he supposed. When every other day brought a shield of clouds over the sun, you adjusted or you fled to brighter pastures. 

He sure as hell didn’t mind it when he was in his cell, listening to the jeers and yelling of the other prisoners night after fucking night. The thrum of raindrops against cinderblock were a welcomed static noise. 

At first, he was grateful for the solitude of his protected status. It gave him time to grieve the loss of his wife, to repent for his hand in her death. His stint in prison meant he was temporarily relieved of the burden placed on his shoulders by the family and it gave him time to grow and reflect. 

But it also meant losing Anna, grieving and spiraling on his own for eight excruciating years, and being closer to his father than he’d ever wanted to be again. It meant that he’d lost everything that mattered, because he’d been too careless to protect it. 

He missed freedom. He missed his family, his daughter more than anything. He missed fresh air, and hot water, and home cooked meals. He wanted to feel the wind against his chest, the rain on his face, anything but the stale breath of hundreds of other prisoners and the bite of the cool cement against his back as he drifted off. 

His release day approached slowly, at first. But after the first few years, the days began to blend together. Seasons rolling by like a strip of film in a projector, bursts of green coming and going as the plants in the sparse outdoor yard sprouted and died. The tunnel was quickly ending, but he wasn’t yet sure if there was light at the end of it. 

Regardless of what lay waiting for him outside of those gates, he’d regain his autonomy, he’d try to see Anna, he’d try to move forward. 

This is what the rain sounded like, when it pounded against the foundation of the prison. It sounded like liberty, like family, like achievable peace. 

If he could feel the rain again, he could keep going. And he would.

[revenantghost]

Hey! So i must i adore you analysis on Wolfwood as you compared his story beats to maximum and how they got changed, something that I dont really see people commenting on

I must say however, do you think vash and wolfwood are bound to have the same kind of relationship they had in trimax? I adore stampede like crazy and was enjoying it so much until around ep 10/11 where it got cleared they were very much going a seemingly different route than what we thought. And to be honest the moment i saw they pumped Knives and Vash dynamic like crazy got me thinking tristamp will be completely about them and not also Vash and WW/others (which i think is as important as K and V for trigun to work out) or tristamp will be mostly Vash and Knives and WW and Livio.

You seek to have a super optimistic (lol) look for s2 and beyond so i wonder if you think (either by beats laid out by tristamp, maybe i am too blind or pessimistic to realize them) there may be something similar to vash and wolfwood’s relationship in trimax???

Oh man, thank you so much!!! I’m honestly so happy that people even read that rambling because it’s been driving me absolutely bonkers. (I’m just gonna link that post here in case anyone’s interested)

But tl;dr: I think that it’ll be similar! Honestly, I think the Vash and Wolfwood dynamics have to be similar, because that’s such an integral part of Trimax. I jokingly called it the Vash and Wolfwood show to a friend when I started reading it—and yeah, that sums up a lot. Though I REALLY see your worries about this. I think we got a much heavier dose of Vash and Knives to really make the stakes super personal, but I have a feeling Knives will fall into the more distant role he takes in Trimax because, as he says, Nai is dead. Long live Knives.

Tristamp season one is a prologue, confirmed by the team very purposefully calling the continuing work the final phase despite saying the sky is the limit on future content depending on fan support. It speed ran a lot of stuff, and I think that was knowingly done because the staff has stated multiple times that they needed everything to be as perfect as possible, but they didn’t know how it would do. I don't even know if they thought they could do a second season. Trigun has historically not been popular outside of the cult following ’98 had in the west—Trimax was just an afterthought that many fans hadn’t read before Tristamp grabbed us all by the throats.

To touch on the other relationships, I like that Tristamp is that it's already expanding on characters that I felt could have spent more time in the spotlight. Like, I'm very eager to see where they take the girls! Because Meryl’s falling into the same role but with a vastly different career in this, and she’s already way more present . Why are they following Vash? How present will the girls be? MILLY!!! With Meryl ripping down Vash’s wanted poster at the end of season one, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s her mission to clear Vash’s name, and hijinks ensue. She already has deeper ties to Wolfwood than any other version before, which makes both of them stronger for it. I’m nervous to see how this all plays out because change scares me and I love this story so much lmao, but I do think it’s good! I already went off about how I love how important Meryl already is in the story, she’s a foil to Vash and the faith in himself he never had, and I feel like that only strengthens and reflects against the foils Vash and Wolfwood have going on. And Milly! I’m so excited to see where they go with her.

But this does change everything with Wolfwood. I keep thinking that Tristamp has changed Wolfwood fundamentally and keep needing to go back and rewatch because he is Wolfwood. He’s younger and rougher around the edges, but he’s still that moron I know and love. (Sometimes I’ll be reading fic and I don’t even realize that the person’s only seen Tristamp because they just get him and the dynamic right—Orange is doing a good job even if it scares me deeply lol)

I do have complete faith that they need to and will let Vash and Wolfwood’s dynamic shine just as brightly as it does in Trimax. I think, actually, a lot of that comes from outside of the text, though I could probably do another rewatch to pick up on all the loose threads they’re laying down to grow Wolfwood’s character and his dynamic with Vash in particular.

First, a new bit of info I saw recently is that the director, Kenji Muto? Apparently hasn’t even seen ’98, or at least hadn’t seen it as of making season one. Of course there are other writers on staff, and the crew has admitted to being huge Trigun nerds, but if your only exposure to Trigun is Trimax??? Wolfwood is massively important to Vash. Doing that dirty would be greatest sin you could make against this franchise.

Second, Nightow is so involved in creating this. He was involved way before most manga authors are brought in on anime, and even said that pretty early on he basically gave it his blessing and said that they got Trigun. (Though he still approved everything from then on as well.) And Wolfwood and his story arc in Trimax is so powerful and so moving. Nightow obviously had some significant investment and emotion in it, in Wolfowod and Vash’s relationship and journey. Like, I cry at things sometimes, generally just ooze tears, but Nightow and this damn manga made me sob. I can’t imagine he would tell the crew they understood Trigun without Wolfwood’s character and his ties to Vash being a priority. I know typically Japanese creators won’t throw shade at adaptations like we see in Western realms, but I rarely see the level of enthusiasm Nightow has for this project.

Okay, because this is getting long, and I’m getting into Trimax spoilers next, putting this next bit under a cut, continue at your own risk.

It’s actually funny, because for the end of that Wolfwood post, before I started my rewatch for it, I originally had a pretty specific prediction about what would happen. Then the ‘sky’s the limit’ on future content came out, and idk what to expect. I thought that the next season was going to be the Vash and Wolfwood show ala Trimax, we were going to fall in love with Wolfwood, and we were gonna have him couched at the end of that season. Because the couch is so essential, it’s so critical, but my god do I want this man to survive the narrative, if only once, and have it mean just as much. (Can you tell I’m torn on this every second of every day of my entire life) And after writing up that whole post I’m even more confused because I have no idea where the fuck they’re taking him. But at the same time, we have major plot threads tying us to that scene so much earlier. The vials existing way earlier, Livio and Razlo being introduced, that line about grieving but still deserving to smile and eat that Wolfwood gives Vash in the episode he’s introduced??? We're making everything more coherent and tied together, and fuck, we're screwed.

For now, all I’ve got is that I think some shit is going to happen to Wolfwood during our two-year time skip, maybe something with Chapel, idk how they’re going to inevitably use Livio against us, but we saw a softer Wolfwood in Tristamp. He needs to harden to be who we know. Orange said they’re going to be more like their other selves here, and though Wolfwood already has some faith in Vash, but he does not have faith in humanity. That’s the growth we have yet to see, and that’s what is really at the core of their relationship and development. It’s still there.

Many people who read Trimax are absolutely gutted and wrecked by the couch. That defines a lot of readers’ experiences—Wolfwood’s character arc is an absolute masterclass in writing a satisfying and meaningful conclusion for a character. So for them to change this much about someone who is that important, they have to have a plan, and a damn good one for Nightow to sign off on it. I’ve seen folks talk about how apparently the team spent the most time working on Knives, Vash, and Wolfwood’s characters (this one I haven't seen a source for), but as you said, we can already see it in the brothers’ relationship. They have a plan for Wolfwood. It’s only a matter of time before we’re wrecked by it.

Yeah, they are gonna keep doing stuff that you or I won’t agree with, or that we think could be better. Every version of Trigun is pretty flawed in certain ways imo, even though it might be beautiful or a favorite piece of media. But all of the concerns of mine that Orange could answer in the first season, they did so with flying colors and blew me out of the water. So don’t get me wrong, I’m scared. I’m so fucking terrified. Both Vash and Wolfwood are my favorite characters in Trigun in such different, integral ways to me. I love them deeply. And Orange is changing so much.

But Orange adores Trimax as much as I do. Nightow is 500% on board. So I’m biting my nails about it, but I choose to have faith. We’ll get wrecked by this adaptation, and I’d bet money on it if I had any lol

OOF, THAT WAS LONG. I hope this was actually helpful/useful and not just incoherent feral rambling!