#like actually do not come into my dms talking about insects I will have a panic attack like actually

[neon-danger]

All I wanted was some domestic farm jalex but here I am crying because there’s a spider in the bathroom

[diorgirl444]

hiiii, i just stumbled upon your blog and i would LOVE a matchup (i tried doing them once on my page and i realised i suck at it lmao, so i admire that u can write them so nicely )

as for who - id love to be paired with someone from hp universe, any era<3

anywayyyy, im really bad at talking about myself but ill try my best

im an intj, my sun sign is aquarius, 5’6”, im a girl and i go by she/her, im bisexual but id rather be paired with a guy (if you choose a girl its fine as well)

i have blue eyes, short wavy/curly hair, currently dyed red, im pale as fuck (im literally allergic to the sun), curvy and i have lots of tattoos. my style is very inconsistent, i dress comfy but at the same time kinda goth-ish, alternative? i wear black 99% of the time, lots of silver jewellery, i have my nose pierced too:p i also wear glasses

i am very creative, i paint and draw most of the time. occasionally i write fanfics but then i have long breaks because i get burned out really easily. im lazy, which is not so good, but at the same time i mostly get things done. i am a huge animal lover, i have 2 cats and 3 dogs. im an introvert but when im with my closest friends my extravert side comes out. im a huge people pleaser, sometimes its not good for me but i cant help it. my love language is physical touch and acts of service.

i love art, art galleries, old cemeteries, greek mythology, the sky and sunflowers. i also adore the forest and just nature in general. im obsessed with pretty little shiny rocks.

i hate people who have a problem with minorities and are just nasty beings towards others and animals. i also hate spiders and insects of any kind, thats why i will never set my foot in australia.

oh and i also dont like kids. i dont have this “gift” or whatever. i dont know how to talk to them, how to act around them and how to play with them.

as for my aesthetic? i have no idea, but id go for dark academia/gothic vibes.

if you need to know anything else just dm me! xx and thank you in advance, have a lovely night/day! <33

your perfect matchup is 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 💌

𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 <3

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝟐 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 <3

the first time james sees you he’s completely speechless. you’re chatting with marlene about something in class, absentmindedly playing with your hair and he’s just gulping like a fish. because where have you been all his life? truly the universe has been so cruel in keeping you from him!

but he’s suddenly shy. james has had plenty of luck with girls. he’s a flirt by nature. he knows all the right things to say, the ways to sweep them off their feet. that is before he saw you… he’s now well and truly tongue tied. he’s literally like lying in bed at night planning what he wants to say to you next time he sees you. spoiler alert he just gets scared and watches you from across the great hall like this 🧍

but finally he pulls himself together and approaches you the next time he sees you. you’re sat in the back of the library on a window seat reading through a book you found which explains how the greek gods were actually early forms of wizards and witches, very interesting stuff you know? you don’t even notice him lingering over you till he sort of awkwardly coughs and asks “would you recommend it? the - the book i mean would you recommend it?” he asks and he can feel heat creeping up his neck as you nod and smile up at him. “tell me about it!” he practically spits out in the next second. he’s so embarrassing i love him

you agree because he’s cute and everyone’s always talking about what a nice boy james potter is to you. of course you don’t know that they only do that you because they see the way james looks at you but hey what you don’t know can’t hurt you? so you move along on your seat and james shuffles in beside you. the first thing you notice is how he smells like cinnamon, oranges and something slightly earthy that is just so james. the next thing you notice is the way his knee and his shoulder press against yours on the small window seat. it’s warm and intimate and you feel flustered as you start to explain the greek myths to him. he watches you as you speak, watches the way your lashes brush your cheek, watches the way your lips move as you talk.

it’s nice to just be listened to for a change so this becomes your pattern. you see a side to james in these afternoon reading sessions that very few people are privy too. the normally loud and cocky potter is gentle and polite. happy to just sit and watch you devotedly. he makes it so natural too so you forget that you’re introverted, you tell him what your favourite things, things that make you angry, your hopes, your dreams everything. and in that time you start to fall for him. you can’t help it he’s so easy to love. you try to hide this new discovery but its hard to go from telling james everything to keeping such a huge secret from him and so he notices the absence. he doesn’t know what it is but he knows you’re keeping something and so he’s hurt if he’s honest.

so you avoid him. you can’t face the sad puppy look on his face it cuts you up and so you pretend you don’t see him waiting for you in the library, pretend you don’t hear the tapping on your door, or the notes stuffed in your pocket. because hopefully he’ll get bored move on and you’ll get over him. but james potter is determined and so enamoured by you that he’ll try one last time. and so he hides a book in your room. the book is his diary with the pages from all his time with you bookmarked. in it are lists of your favourite things, tiny sketches of you, details on how he feels about you and he ends it with “vicky darling i don’t know what i did but please know i’m eternally sorry. you’ve made a mess of me, i’d do anything to just see you again. don’t you know i love you? if you feel the same meet me at our window seat. if i don’t see you there i will accept that you truly don’t feel the same and i will leave you be. yours forever, james” you find yourself wiping tears as you read it realising how silly you’ve been.

and so with haste you race to the window seat in the library and when you see him there all anxious and shy your heart aches. “ you’ve made a mess of me too james” you say softly as you sit beside him and his face lights up. “can i make it better?” he asks huskily and you nod. his hands cup your face as he leans in and kisses you. he tastes like maple syrup, he smells like spices and he feels like home. it’s perfect and as he walks you back to your dorm with a promise of a date in hogsmede and a soft kiss to your forehead you feel giddy as you lay down under the covers that night because james potter loves you and you love him.

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 <3

golden retriever bf! + black cat gf! golden retriever bf! + black cat gf! golden retriever bf! + black cat gf! okay but seriously you two are the epitome of this trope. not because you’re mean but because james is so extroverted and you’re not so much i think it matches the two do you perfectly.

he makes you go watch his quidditch games. 😭 im sorry they’re probably so boring so like you sit with marlene and dorcas to try and make it more palatable but it is probably still so dull. if it makes it any better he does loads of fancy tricks on his broom so that you think he’s cool though it does come off a bit pathetic. don’t worry though because at the end he’ll ride his broom over to you and kiss you while standing on it.

your reading thing doesn’t stop it’s just that now when you read to him he’ll have his arm around your waist and his free hand will trace hearts on the small sliver of skin that peaks out there between your uniform skirt and shirt. he doesn’t actually disturb you though because he finds it so relaxing to hear your voice. if you want to stop him and kiss him though he’s not gonna complain.

he loves visiting cemeteries with you. you offhandedly mentioned once how you were gonna visit one, you didn’t invite him though because you were worried he’d think it was weird. but then he sort of shyly asks “can i come too?” and you laugh and nod. the two of you pack a picnic and spend the whole day exploring the graveyard with each other in quite intimacy. your hands constantly intertwined as you walk, pausing to pay your respect and the long-forgotten names of the people who laid there and occasionally saying hello to the few ghosts that lingered there. you came across one pair which were an old couple who said you reminded them of theirselves when they were your age which makes the tips of james’s ear turn red.

he brings you any nice rocks he finds. sirius gives him the weirdest look when the marauders are sneaking around at night and james bends down to pick a stone up that he thinks you’d like but james just grins and shrugs his shoulders saying “my girl likes them. what can you do?” the marauders smile at that. they’ve never seen james look so lovesick - it’s very sweet.

you two have matching necklaces. i don’t know why but i just feel this in my core. you found them at an antique shop and yours is a silver moon james is gold sun. because of it when the two of you are together everyone calls the pair of you “solar eclipse” 😭 even did it once when she was telling your friend group off. she was like “where’s solar eclipse?” sirius absolutely pissed himself laughing about that.

james gets rid of spiders for you but not before teasing you a bit. that’s just the kinda of guy he is i’m sorry. he’ll get them gone though for you don’t you worry but only if you promise to kiss him as a thank you after.

he writes you love letters weekly. you smile on mondays when his owl flies and drops a cream coloured envelope down on your desk written in james’s scrawling hand. in the letter he incloses what his favourite memories of you he has of the past week be that an outfit he thought was really pretty, a song he heard that made him think of you, or a leaf that he pressed from a forest walk that the two of you went on. he adores you so much it’s unbelievable.

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 <3

hope you like it! xoxo, flo <3

[hekates-corner]

Apothecary Diaries | WN Translation | Arc 9 - Chapter 12

Hey, whichever way you found this: Welcome!

For a couple of reasons I ended up here - I relay all that happens in the chapters, playing wine-aunt, as I translate to the best of my abilities.

So, be warned, all the spoilers are waiting down below. Want spoilers - but less? My dm's/asks are open!

New here? Here's the Masterlist.

Enjoy!

Chapter 12 | Farming

For the next two days, Maomao and the others helped Nenshin with his work.

Which was pretty close to the answer Maomao was looking for.

Narrator-Mao leads us through the explanation that, after putting the hoe in the ground and turning over the damp soil, they found worms, ants and small beetles - as well as long masses/clumps, where a closer look revealed that they were eggs/egg masses.

The chicken that had been pecking at the worms then pecked at the egg mass. In her head she wonders “Locust eggs?”

As narrator she lets us know that she would’ve liked to calculate how many there were per tan, but that she didn’t have the time to do that. Once she found an egg the chicken had missed, she picked it up and put it in a jar.

In her mind she notes how many there must be.

Narrator-Mao goes on talking about how people who hate insects would go crazy about this, even if the contents of her jar are still few. Despite being used to dissecting locusts, it’s not something she wants to see or likes either.

Meanwhile she lets us in on the fact that Lahan-nii, the expert farmer, had a special way of holding the hoe - while Basen had his incredible strength and how different the amount of soil is they have to dig up.

In her head she’s just glad that Basen is doing things right.

Narrator-Mao tells us that she’d been worried he’d refuse, because it’s not the job of a soldier, but apparently she was lucky that Jinshi cared about locusts quite a bit. So, Basen quietly helped her.

Thanks to that, she fills us in, the guards and farmers they’d brought along were also helping her. It looks like they’ll be done with the digging by the end of the day.

In addition, Chue - who had joined before they knew it - was moving around near the two of them, collecting locust eggs. Two children were behind her. They’re the siblings that ate the roasted sweet potato - and they seem to think that if they help they’ll get more of them.

“Maomao-san, there are a lot of them, would you like to see them?”

“Chue-san, I don’t want to see them. If it’s mantis eggs, I’ll take it.”

Mantis eggs, she tells us, are used as a medicine called Sohyosho. Since it can’t be acquired in large quantities, it’s quite valuable. (that’s real btw)

“The eggs here are about to hatch. A small one’s coming out.”

“It’s already spring, isn’t it?”

One generation of flying locusts is as long as 3 months, starting march. It's said that they lay about 100 eggs each at a time. This is what was written in the encyclopedia that was in the Shi clan’s fortress. Those born in spring lay new eggs in summer.

They don’t breed all year round, and at this time of year, the eggs laid in the fall are hatching. The eggs are laid hidden in the ground, exposed by akiko/autumn plowing - and once exposed, they become food for birds and small animals.

Maomao wonders, in her mind, if Lahan (the actual one) hadn’t said that before.

Narrator-Mao notes something about him having mentioned rat/mousecalculation.

One pair of mice births 12 children - making the total 14. Of those 12 children, 6 females and the mother bring 7 more pairs into the world - from which, each of them births another twelve.

Of course, this formula is just a theoretical calculation. Not everything grows without dying.

If the number of locusts were to increase in the same way as this rat-calculation, it will be important to reduce the number at an earlier stage.

She calculates in her head that a mass of locust eggs is about 100, 100 times ten is 1000, 100 times 100 is 10.000.

Narrator-Mao goes on that, if they were to get rid of them now, they could lower the amount of locusts appearing later by many times - and that it seems locusts lay their eggs in areas that are moist to some degree.

She thinks that, since there’s a river nearby and plenty of grass to feed on, this area is the perfect spawning ground.

Then notes as narrator that the reason why they (villagers) didn’t dare to cultivate a field is probably to attract locusts.

At that point Nenshin approaches her, a glass of locust eggs in hand.

“Now all that’s left to do is burn them.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Ah. Last year I missed a lot of locusts because I was late with this.”

Narrator-Mao recalls that a farmer of this village had also said that they had a lot of damage from locusts the year before.

“Was the yield quite small?” She asks and Nenshin nods.

“We don’t have any savings, just what we eat. If we pay taxes, we’ll starve. We would no longer be able to afford to buy daily necessities from peddlers, so we would have so sell our cattle.”

“But you said that the feudal lord not only exempted you from taxes but also gave you support.”

“That’s right, he’s a really nice lord.” Once again, Nenshin made a face as if he was going to throw up.

Maomao then asks him directly something along the lines of “What is it that you don’t like about that? It seems like you have a thorn in your side/like it's a thorn in your eye.”

Nenshin explains that, he’s not saying this as former bandit, but they(village people) are just trying to take what they can get. To him, they’re like locusts. If you don’t want to starve, you should take proper care of your field - so that you don’t starve.

Maomao asks if "that’s why" - the reason why the fields in this village aren’t well taken care of is that.

Nenshin responds: “That’s right. It was the same with last years bugs.” and goes on to explain that while they were disgusted, looking at their fields being eaten with dismay - the village chief was always thinking about how he could get the sympathy of the lord, always thinking about how he could make him cry. Nenshin felt like a fool, pulling off the locusts that were biting the leaves and killing them one by one.

Narrator-Mao wonders if the fear of past locust plagues has changed Nenshin - because this doesn’t seem like the behavior of a former bandit who has done all kinds of evil deeds.

She then corrects herself in her mind: No, that’s wrong.

As narrator adding that, from the start, Nenshin probably had an earnest/serious personality. He was born and raised as a bandit, so he learned how to use a bow and started killing people as he was told.

Ethics isn’t something you are born with.

“And judging from the current atmosphere in the village, it seems like they received a lot of money.”

“Right. This hasn’t changed in the last ten years. Even if the harvest fails, the lord will help us. He’s a good lord to everyone.”

In her mind she wonders “Good lord..”

Narrator-Mao wonders where the money for this support comes from. It could be extracted from trade. If Saito was that prosperous, it’s fine to send the money to rural areas.

“If you’re making the money, I think it would be better to build at least one of those waterways/canals.”

She goes on, as narrator, that the less labor is involved in transporting water, the more different work can be done. They could even cultivate new fields.

Nenshin admits that that’s what “that man Rikuson” had said too - Maomao replies with a simple “Is that so.”

Narrator-Mao then tells us again that, once she’s back in Saito, she has to find out how Rikuson found out about the former serf’s existence.

(And then, after all this, days worth of work they did for him, mind you��…..)

“By the way, I’m sorry to ask you to help me with my work, but don’t you have other business in this village?”

“Business…….” - Maomao rests her chin on the handle of her hoe and closes her eyes.

“Ah!” - Maomao looks around. She approaches Lahan-nii, who isn’t only digging up the soil but also starting to make ridges.

Maomao: We won’t plant anything here.

Lahan-nii: ?!

She thinks “Shit, he’s making his usual face.”

He(?) denies it, but the farmers are completely on board.

“By the way, aren’t you going to spread the popularity of potatoes? I think that’s why you brought the seed potatoes.”

“..... that’s about it.”

It seems like Lahan-nii has something on his mind.

“The people here have no willingness/motivation to work in the fields, right? If they were to produce more potatoes, do you think they would cultivate them properly? They probably won’t use the old fields for new crops, and I don’t think they have the willpower to cultivate new land.”

“Certainly/Indeed.” Maomao is convinved.

Lahan-nii says that that’s why he wanted to meet the only person who cultivated a decent farm.

Maomao catches on, goes “So that’s what it’s about.” but Lahan-nii already knows better as well: “But I don’t think that old man can do it.”

Maomao agrees, with a simple “It’s impossible, I guess.”

The last former serf of this village. In addition to working on his own field, he also has to perform the fall plowing ceremony, which is called a ritual. Work that was supposed to be completed in fall, continuing into the spring, so no matter how you look at it, there’s not enough manpower.

“Can’t we just leave one person here to help?” They look at the other farmers.

Lahan-nii argues that the people he brought with him are here because he is *in case she’s wondering*. It’s not good to be left behind in an unfamiliar place/You can’t just leave them in an unfamiliar land, in the middle of nowhere.

They seem to have been brought all the way from Hisashi-Shuu.

“Right.” - Narrator-Mao notes that Lahan-nii acts like an older brother in the strangest ways - and that, if he had been born into a normal family, he would’ve been a good eldest son. (damn girl)

Lahan-nii adds that he’s glad his father isn’t there - and something about how he said he’d show them the potential of potatoes yet he didn’t actually know what to do. (the second part’s not wanting to be read, clearly.)

Maomao then says something along the lines of “Let’s at least make the sweet potatoes tasty….. Potatoes……” (it’s a fragmented sentence I can’t make full sense of)

Maomao looks at the two children clinging to Chue’s back. She sets down the hoe and approaches them.

“Hey, you want to eat the sweet potato again sometime”

“Want to eat!”

“I want to eat it! I want to eat!”

The sibling's eyes sparkled.

“It’s my first time eating something so sweet. It was sweet like a raisin.”

“Raisins?”

“Sweets are precious around here. There’s no honey and sugar is a luxury item.”

Chue spins around with a large jar on her head.

“... I wonder, can we use that/Could that work?”

Maomao grinned/chuckled and returned to Lahan-nii.

| Notes & Chapter 13

At long last, a chapter that didn't completely hate being translated.

There's not much to say this time. There is the expression thing where it's not quite clear for me if Maomao is pulling an expression or if it's Lahan-nii, but we'll survive that. The same goes with where Nenshin has the thorn.

I honestly just love it for Nenshin that he waited days, until they were about to wrap up all the work, before asking if it's fine for them to spend all their time with his task. Just, gold.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one. I'll see you soon with the next. Stay safe!

[notmuchtoconceal]

sometimes i'm too hard on my ex. sometimes i love him to death. sometimes i think about choking him until he's unconscious. that's a lie. choking him is secretly a lot like being held. it's why it's so intimate beneath the brutality. the things i think about doing to my ex are too horrible to repeat aloud in a place where he'll probably eventually get around to reading them. i really can't tell how much of the shit he did that bugged me was him actually being numb to my inner world and how much of it was a certain ex-collaborator poisoning me with his obvious and repeat insinuations that people who press the heart button want attention. yes, sweetie. people are starved for attention on the internet. sometimes the dopamine hit of seeing the alert makes them happy. it's not always a tool to tether them to you. some people are just thankful for any attention i give, cause it's true -- they're not ambitious enough to totally crush my mind and make me their slave. you see, i stopped talking to you because you make me insane. you make me wonder if every act of affection i show another human being is exploitative, and this becomes so stressful over time, it makes me wanna talk to nobody ever. haha, oh darling. i know it's cause you want me all to yourself. i'm sorry. you're too broken to be the girl for me. sometimes daddy needs to be taken care of and you require 24/7 nursing care for that mental illness you definitely have. trust me on this, sweetie. i've been with like six of you now. i'm a fucking codependency magnet. if you're going to fucking spit at me for the hours upon hours of love i have given you, you can go fuck yourself. i love being a fucking mule, but i am not a fucking sausage patty you can butcher, fuckface. you had a good thing goin with me, now it's gone forever. fuck you. not my ex. maybe my ex, too. i don't know. sometimes hating someone else more really does help you remember why you love someone else, but is that fair? is that fair to anyone? you still largely feel you have to be self-absorbed because only other douchebags understand you. my dms with the athenian larper boy are fuckin poetry. jesus christ, that's the parasite that got ya believin in the manwife fantasy, but he's as fuckin skittish as the other one. i need to tap into my ex-collaborator's crazy insane bitch energy to help me keep a man. god i love fucking people who are bad for me. the fag erotica author is the only real abusive toxic douchebag on tumblr. all those boys? those boys are all cutie pies with cute lil tooshies. only the fag erotica author is a real toxic douchebag predator. all he does is rend flesh and poison bodies like some horrible latex cronenberg body horror pussy-insect. this is what i see in him. i see his toxic gadfly mutagenic gay monster nerd essence and he sits there and cries about being a cornpone bitch. all of you bitches have sissificiation kinks, it's why your clitties get stiff when i call you bitches.

gee, quinn. sandy sure is lonely sitting over here alone all day in her bath, burning baby fat candles and painting her toenails black with the inky venom of the blue ringed octopus. i sure would hate it if some bedazzled grapefruit-red ruby muff came over and dive down her shorn slopes by the moonlight of our secret and basking yearning lapping on the moon-white shores of diamond-studded mausolea mucosal in mycotoxin night. the adorable german boy is the only one amongst you is a proud and bold little slut who proudly wiggles his ass in the air and begs to get fucked and that's why he gets headpats and doggie treats and is daddy's favorite. the rest of you wedgie yourselves and slap your wedgied asses three times while reminding yourself of your innate adequacies through prolonged voluntary recollection of your lowest and most humiliating moments, either first one that comes to mind, or the one you feel is the most painful or formative. you'll know which one feels right, buddy. trust in your judgement. brother-dad believes in you. you're so much more special than you realize. once you're outta the shithouse and can show me you're willing to listen to reason -- we can work to address those real deep-seated entitlements that make you such a horrid little shit, in an open, honest, constructive manner, and we're not gonna need to worry about you lashin out, cause there'll be real trust and understanding, and if you think this sounds like brainwashing, well -- one step at a time, bud. we can address those concerns first. we can address any concern first. once you show me you're committed and willing to listen, i can help you overcome anything you need, but i need to know my time isn't being wasted. little things. little things can easily show me you're listening.

i was remembering a lovely time i had with my ex in st. louis. we were sitting in a small cafe, a low row of tables against one wall, so close together we could hear everything the couple next to us said. there was a girl there. from her tone of her voice, the particular cut of her expression -- both the way she emoted and the shape of her features themselves -- even the particular kinkiness of her blonde hair, she struck me as the fundamentally the same "type" of person as meine schwesterfrau's mother. she was talking about someone she knew. a man. a man you couldn't tell was being abused. someone who seemed to be successful, but as she said, things were happening "behind closed doors". a current lit up in the air. i can't remember if the gentleman sitting next to me stirred. at that moment -- i felt it. she had noticed my noticing her. i suppose she could see me just as well as i could see her, as she was positioned on the opposite side of the table, so i too would be in her left field of vision. she continued speaking, aware that i was listening to her, seeming to half-address me as she continued speaking to the other gentleman -- i don't remember exactly what she said. i just knew i was being listened to. there was a mutual unspoken exchange occurring between us at that moment. it was an impression i wish i had more verifiable data to recollect. it seemed startling to think she could be "reading" me so accurately from a simple half-peripheral glance lingering into a gaze (were my feelings so plain? how closely can she reasonably be observing me?) that, from a materialist perspective, the only way i could account for it was that, she had built up such a rich internal glossary of facial and bodily cues, from having observed so many people, including other men reminiscent of me, she could simply -- make correct judgements at a glance, for she had a deep knowledge well to draw from, despite looking like a bimbo.

it makes the sludge churn out through my brains to remember that so much of what women do right is just -- noticing and attending to other people instead of being fixated on your own perceived inadequacies. later on, (i believe the gentleman she was with had gone to the bathroom) she turned to us and spoke briefly, excited and friendly. she said to me, as if in explanation, "I'm an empath" and my ex, I realized, seemed to think it was a brag, or a means of self-identification with some brand, and i would imagine why he would. he might not've seen what happened.

Even lazy Sunday turns into a gun day

[random-french-girl]

Could you do Martha and Fatin for the brotp?

Hi friend! Thanks!

What in-jokes do they have with each other?

They rate every guy Martha meets and finds cute on a scale “from zero to Marcus”. The scale is NOT scientific, and none of the other girls really understand it. But it’s hilarious.   

Are they the “I’ll pay this time if you pay next time”-type friends, or the “I’ll pay for my food and you’ll pay for yours”-type friends?

First option. Fatin always insists to pay for Martha’s drinks though. 

Who’s more prone to pranking, or otherwise messing with, the other?

Martha, actually :) She’s wickedly sneaky when doing pranks, and a lot of them involve using various animals (mostly insects and the likes) to scare Fatin. She has to be careful, though, because Fatin has no qualms about squashing a spider with a rolled-up Vogue Magazine. Which is not what Martha wants. (What she wants is to add to her collection of videos of Fatin screaming at the top of her lungs because there’s a harmless beetle on her bed. It makes for a great pick-me-up whenever one of the girls is depressed.)

How do they text/message each other? Proper punctuation and capital letters, egregious overuse of emojis, mostly in meme format…?

Oh my God, they are the most CHAOTIC texters, there’s emojis EVERYWHERE, new abbreviations daily, their texts are absolutely unreadable by anyone else. (Even Toni, who’s used to Martha’s style, can’t decipher what the fuck they’re talking about.) They basically have invented a whole new writing system. 

Do they exchange jokey birthday presents, or deeply thought-out and meaningful presents? Or both?

Both, but mostly meaningful? Fatin also loves organizing Martha’s birthday parties. She does The Most. Martha is delighted. 

They go on a road trip together. Who drives, who picks the music, who’s in charge of snacks?

Martha drives - she, gently, leaves No Room for argument. Fatin is in charge of the music - which works great, they like the same stuff. They’re both in charge of snacks - lots of chocolate, lots of juice. 

What do they think of each other’s family?

Fatin adores Martha’s family, and is, weirdly, a little scared of Martha’s mom, in the “I never want her to be disappointed in me” kind of way. Martha is very impressed with Fatin’s parents at first - they’re so elegant and stylish!-, not so much when she learns the whole story. She loves Fatin’s little brothers though, and they love her too :)

Do they have any nicknames for each other?

Fatin has a million pet names for Martha. I don’t think Martha has any for Fatin, however. 

Who’d be the first to try and patch things up if they had a fight?

Honestly... they rarely get into fights. But when they do, Fatin tries to patch things up first. There’s nothing worse than knowing that Martha is mad at you.

One of their phones goes off in the middle of the night. Who’s calling whom, and why?

Fatin actually calls Martha when she gets sad in the middle of a party, and she doesn’t want to bother Dot and Leah, or they’re not available, or she’s feeling self-conscious and needs Martha’s specific energy. 

What’s their favourite funny story about something that happened to the two of them?

Getting high on the beach for sure.

Would they do a joint cosplay? If so, who would they dress up as?

Oh, they would. For Halloween, they dress up as a devil and an angel. Martha is the devil. Fatin is a very sexy, probably not Bible-accurate angel. 

Do they have any TV shows that they watch together? Are there any shows they have wildly different opinions on?

So many shows! A lot of reality TV, first of all. Martha also gets Fatin to watch the entirety of Pretty Little Liars, Fatin is. Obsessed. And furious about it. She rants about the outfits constantly.

Which one is the “fight me” friend and which one is the one who tries to keep the peace and prevent their friend from punching a total stranger?

Fatin is the “fight me” friend. Martha tries to keep the peace. 

One of them comes up with an ill-advised but mostly harmless idea. Does the other one egg them on because they think it’ll be funny, or try and talk them out of it?

In both cases, they’d try to talk the other out of it. 

Who would win if they arm-wrestled?

Martha.

Who’s better at what type of video games, and how competitive are they when they play together?

Martha is leagues better than Fatin. They aren’t very competitive with each other, but if they are together in a team against some of the other girls they get HYPED UP and WILL destroy their competition. 

One of them ends up in hospital for something serious but not life-threatening. What does the other bring along when they visit in order to cheer them up?

Martha brings homemade food that she cooked with her mom, UNO, Fatin’s emotional support makeup case, and has all the girls send a heartfelt card for Fatin. Also, a vibrator, which prompts Fatin to propose on the spot. (She may have been a bit delirious from fever, but still.)

How huggy are they?

It’s interesting, they’re very huggy with their respective people (Toni, Leah), but I’m not sure they hug each other all that much? They do physical affection, but maybe not via hugs? Like, Fatin will put her arms around Martha’s shoulders, and they’ll sit together with their knees touching, and they’ll touch each other’s hair and face, and hold hands. Not that many hugs though. 

What was the moment when they first realised that they’d become friends?

They start bonding pretty early on the island, but probably that one moment where Martha asks if she’ll have Romeos in her DMs too, and Fatin’s like MARTHA ANGEL YES OF COURSE <3

[lavenderslemonade]

Playing Animal Crossing While in Quarantine HC

Requests: Open!

Warnings: Pure fluff

Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, Kirishima, Tamaki and Aizawa: Playing Animal Crossing With Their S/O While in Quarantine

I’ve been obsessed with animal crossing these past few days! If you want to visit my island some time or just chill, DM me and I’ll send you my switch friend code!

Also, if there’s another My Hero Academia peep you want me to do that isn’t on this list, leave me a message in my inbox and I’ll do them next! Also, please feel free to leave a comment!

Midoriya

- The two of you had the game pre-ordered and once you got it the two of you became hooked. You refuse to let Midoriya onto your island till you have everything set up how you want. However, Midoriya lets you visit his island frequently. He has a little park area on his island, a little picnic area where the two of you can have little dates since he can’t take you out on real ones.

- He won’t let you in his house. You don’t know why, but he won’t. Before you can get near it you see where he’s dug holes or blocked the entrance off with large items so you can’t get through. “Midoriya, I wanna see your house.” You state one day over the phone as you keep hitting the large fish tank he’s put in front of the door with your net.

- You finally get in one day when he accidentally takes the fish tank away when he hit the wrong button, and you just bolt inside. You hear him freaking out on the other end of the phone begging you to please not look at his house. However, it’s too late. It’s...actually not that bad. He has normal rooms much to your surprise.

- Midoriya starts chasing you around his house as you scope out what he’s done with the place. Bathroom, Kitchen, Bedroom, Living room, it’s all pretty normal. Then you get to the basement. You knew it was too good to be true. His basement is nothing but All Might. Midoriyas avatar is behind you sweating and freaking out. However, you reassure him that it’s okay, you’ve seen worse. No really, you went to Minetas island to be nice, and like I said, you’ve seen worse on that island.

- If there’s something in the Nook shop that he thinks you’d like he’ll buy it for you and surprise you with it the next time you come over. If there’s a fossil you can’t find, or one or two bugs you need for Blathers then he’ll try his hardest to find them on different islands and give them to you. If your anniversary or birthday was coming up and couldn’t spend it together during quarantine, he’ll try to come up with a surprise for you.

- You leave your switch for a few minutes to open a few gifts that your relatives had sent you through the mail, and get a piece of cake that your parent(s) got for you. You keep your switch on so Midoriya can run around your island and do as he pleases. While you’re away he begins planting flowers all around your house that he’s collected. Has a little picnic set and places it in the middle of the flowers. Luckily the flowers start to attract butterflys and different insects.

- When you come back your heart is warm from the display, and the two of you spend several hours just talking and doing little things together like collecting the bugs the flowers brought in or fishing.

Bakugou

- He has a switch, but he didn’t buy the game when it first came out. Why would he? It was too cute looking for his taste and he remembers some of the girls playing that stupid background music to help them concentrate while they studied back at UA. It drove him up a damn wall then, so why would he put himself through that torture now?

- It wasn’t till he became annoyed with you that he decided to get the game. You were one of the people that had the game pre-ordered and ever since you got it, plus went under quarantine, you’ve hardly paid Bakugou a lick of attention. He was on the phone with you trying to have a conversation, but whenever it was your turn to talk or answer a question your line was just dead. He’d call out your name snapping you out of your trance, and apologize to him due to you trying to catch a butterfly.

- It was okay the first few times it happened, but then it became annoying. How your line would be quiet then randomly “If I can’t one more fucking sea bass!” blares from your end causing Bakugou to nearly drop his phone in surprise. “Are you still playing that stupid fucking game!” He’d growl into his phone. Goes onto Amazon once the two of you get off the phone and order the game. He won’t pick up whenever you try to call him, which honestly makes you feel pretty guilty.

- However, your guilt flies out the door when you see the banner come across your screen stating a visitor was arriving. You rush to the docks to see who it is and you’re surprised to see a mini Bakugou avatar walk out of the little airport. Quickly, you grab your phone and call him. You had hit the joy emote as you waited for him to pick up, and as soon as he did you couldn’t help but squeal in excitement. “I can’t believe you got the game!” You’d state excitedly as you watch your screen.

- Then an ax appeared in his hand, making the color drain from your face. “Please don’t...” You whimper. Honestly you expected him to chop down all your tree’s, however he simply chased you for about five minutes. Once he’s cooled down he listens to you gush about all the little dates the two of you can go on, giving him a tour of your island, and even showing off the big fish you’ve caught. He’s a little irked because he’s just started the game and hasn’t caught fish as big as yours yet.

- He complains about his hate for Tom Nook. You watched as he tries to hit Toms tent with an ax to no luck. He goes around your island and shakes all the fruit out of your trees much to your displeasure though he drops his own fruit from his island in front of you stating he wants you to plant them.

- Bakugou has a shirt that looks like his hero outfit that he wears most of the time. If he’s not wearing that shirt then he has a regular black shirt with a skull on it. The Bakusquad usually visits each others island, though they don’t visit Denki’s as much since it’s about just as bad as Minetas. It’s not perverted like Minetas, but it’s not really put together well and he wears the dress that looks like it’s a bikini...

- Bakugou is known to uproot Mina’s flowers when she’s not looking to give to you later, and easily gets irritated if one of the bakusquad catches a fish he was trying to get.

- He tried to name his island Hell, but that’s not allowed. So he followed Jacksepticeyes example and named it Hel

- He has a large bed in his house so that whenever you come over you can crawl in with him and pretend that the two of you are cuddling. He has Moose on his island AND HE WANTS HIM GONE!

Todoroki

- He didn’t pre-order the game before it came out, in fact he didn’t even own a switch. He’s never really been that interested in video games, and has mostly been spending his free time reading and spending time with his siblings. You keep sending him images of fish you’ve caught, the small garden you’ve set up beside your house, and when you spotted a Wisp across the water. He could tell you were having a lot of fun, and was surprised to find out that Midoriya and the rest of Class 1-A was playing the game.

- Thus, he ordered a switch and the game so he could play with everyone. He sends a picture of his avatar once he’s gotten everything set up. Though, you’re not surprised that his character has white hair instead of red. You call him and answer any questions he has, helping him learn the ropes of the game. once he’s got a good bit of things done, and Timmy and Tommys shop has been set up, you allow him to visit your island. However, he won’t let you visit his yet.

- The two of you mostly goof around collecting bugs and fish. When the sun sets you have a bench near the edge of the water that the two of you sit on together. Todoroki starts a garden on your island just for you. Yeah, you have one that you started, but he wanted to start one where it’s just flowers he’s brought you. If he’s visiting a fellow classmates island and sees a flower he thinks you’d like or would look good in the garden, he’ll take a few thousand bells and drop it at the island owners feet before typing “I want the flower.”

- They’re not complaining because they got a dept to pay. Will go straight to your island and plant the flower.

- He has Marshal AND Raymond on his island, and honestly you feel a bit jealous. He’s converted pictures of you and the two of you together from his phone to the nintendo app so he can hang up pictures of y’all in his house. His house is honestly pretty simple, just like his dorm room. He even has a bamboo noodle slide beside his house. Actually a good chunk of his island has bamboo on it now, which doesn’t surprise you.

- The two of you actually dress up your characters to go on mini dates together. It grosses Bakugou out. “Why the fuck are y’all dressed like you’re about to go someplace fancy?!” Bakugou would type out while hitting Todoroki with a net much to his annoyance. When he’s bored Todoroki would make little outfits for you and send you the QR code. You mostly wear only what Todoroki makes now.

- He insist’s on helping you pay off your debt to Tom Nook, but you won’t let him.

Kirishima

- Like Midoriya he and you both pre-ordered the game. Surprisingly he’s played the past Animal Crossings as well. Before quarantine the two of you would actually listen to soothing animal crossing music when you study or were taking a nap. Your island is more developed than his since he doesn’t want to do the time jump cheat.

- The first room he has added onto his house is turned into a gym. He gets along so well with Tank, and usually can see his character running with Tank. Sucks at designing clothes so you designed him a Red Riot costume and emailed him the QR code. He lets you design different outfits for him and will put on little fashion shows for you. The two of you usually visit Sero and Minas island together, and sometimes Bakugou when he’s on (which is rare), and Denki’s.

- Everyone clicked the surprise emote when Denki appeared in the bikini dress. The two of you will go on fishing dates together, and if he catches a cute insect or a hard to catch fish, he’ll give it to you. One of the only things he’ll try is trying to grow a money tree, which surprisingly works.

- You logged on one day for one of your dates and he stated he had a gift for you. He’d hop off the bench y’all were sitting on and give you a huge stuffed bear from the Nook store. After that he’d take you to the town square where some of his villagers were singing Bubblegum KK.

- Has a large bed so the two of you can ‘snuggle’. His house is pretty ordinary, he keeps all his workout stuff in the back room. He’s the type that uses half his island to store the fish he’s collected to he an turn them in all at once. He’ll spend two-three days collecting fish nonstop, and then selling them to Timmy and Tommy. He see’s it as just a bit of revenge for the insane dept Tom Nook has put everyone in.

- He surprisingly pays close attention to the decor of your home. If there’s something he thinks you’ll like, he’ll build it and then change it’s color so it can fit with your homes aesthetic. Both of you download the nintendo switch app and convert photos of yourselves to put in your homes. He wants to go visit Tamaki, but you try to convince him not to since you know he’ll probably cause the older boy to have an anxiety attack with how hyper he is on the game.

- The two of you decided to be nice and visit Mineta’s island a.k.a “Hentai Island”. As soon at the two of you read the title you knew you were in trouble. His avatar frequently wears a shirt that has abs on it, and somehow it’s more disturbing than Denki’s Bikini dress. He tries to flirt with you in the game “Do I look manly enough for you now (y/n)?” you can basically hear him salivating from the other side of the screen.

- After that you and Kirishima vow never to go back. He’s not allowed on either of your islands either. Kirishima allowed him over once and he just kept staring at one of the pixel images of you Kirishima has on his wall. Luckily, while he was over Kirishima accidentally shook some wasps from a tree, and while he was running away they attacked Mineta.

Tamaki

- Both of you were too busy to pre-order the game, but Fatgum knew how much both you and Tamaki enjoyed Animal Crossing. He had actually caught the two of you playing on your break on your 3DS’s. He knew that some much was going on in your lives due to it being your final school year, plus the ordeal with saving Eri. Thus, he pre-ordered two of the games as a surprise for the two of you.

- However, due to not knowing when you’d get quarantined, once the games arrived he personally mailed them out to the both of you along with a little letter. When the two of you got your copies, you were surprised and ecstatic. Both of you sent a thank you text to Fatgum and began playing right away. Both of you spent a few days to yourselves, wanting to get your island organized and to surprise each other. You tried catching all the butterflies you could to give to Blathers and make the museum’s butterfly garden as nice as it could be!

- Neither you or Tamaki time jump since you want to experience the full calming effect of Animal Crossing. Tamaki honestly feels a bit intimidated by  Bam, but he loves Fuchsia. When the two of you finally visit he each other, you insist on going to his island first. He has flowers all around Fuchsia’s home and you could see a few buds sprouting around the new homes that were being built, his way of welcoming his new villagers.

- He’s made a large garden for you at the top of his island, where none of the villagers can really disturb the two of you. Because there’s nothing more awkward than Tamaki spending time with his S/O in a romantic setting and then trying to take them to the secret spot he set up just for Dom to be sitting on the bench meant for the two of you. He doesn’t want to be mean to the villager, however, watches from the side as you pull out your net and start thwacking Dom with it till he moves.

- Tamaki watched Dom leave, before joining you on the bench, and deciding to send the sheep some flowers as an apology for making him move. But like, it was a mini date for the two of you and he really wanted to watch the meteor shower with you from that said spot. And the end of the night you give him the outdoor picnic set you needed cherry blossom petals to make.

- On your island you tried your best to collect as many butterflies as you could along with a few other insects and koi for aesthetics to surprise Tamaki with. He’s honestly shocked with home many butterflies you had caught. With the time frame of some of them it means you’ve probably been up early in the morning to late at night trying to catch specific ones. Blathers probably has nightmares now about butterflies.

- Both of you aren’t really big fans of Tom Nook, but Tamaki loves Isabelle, Timmy and Tommy. Whenever Mirio and Nejire visit, it’s chaotic. The two of you will be chilling in the town square watching Marina sing into the mic that Tamaki set up for her, meanwhile Mirio and Nejire are chasing each other with nets and beating each other over the head. Mirio accidentally plucked one of Tamaki’s flower hybrids and Tamaki quickly clicked the distressed emote.

- Tamaki takes very good care of his plant life, literally going around and watering them everyday. So you were able to replicate the hybrid and planted it in the spot where Mirio had accidentally plucked the other one.

Aizawa

- Due to your busy schedules, Aizawa has a switch lite that he plays on when he’s taking breaks at school or when he’s just resting at home. Meanwhile you have a full on switch. Both of you pre-ordered the game and play it side by side at home. Aizawa is pretty resourceful with his materials, keeping things in his storage as to not waste room and going out to collect more stuff.

- His first two villagers were Rudy and Pashmina. You watched as his eye lit up at Rudy, knowing your boyfriend was crazy for cats. He tries to follow things step by step, collecting items to sell and pay off Tom Nook and steadily becoming frustrated with the more dept the damn raccoon put him in. Meanwhile, you’re using the time jump cheat to get things done quicker and make your island look like legit paradise.

- You’ve went to his island to find him catching fish and trying to give it to Rudy. He doesn’t really use emotes. A good bit of the time you see that he’s online, thus when you go to visit his island you’re surprised to see he’s not greeting you at the docks. You go to his house and you’re not surprised to find his avatar asleep on the bed. You go to the living room to see your boyfriend passed out on the couch, his switch resting against his chest as he snoozes away.

- You frequently bop him in the head with your net when you want attention, because he’s usually focused on completing tasks for Tom Nook and selling items to Timmy and Tommy. You finally stop when he pulls out an ax and just stares at you. You peek up from your switch in your chair in the living room and just see Aizawa glaring at you from the couch. “...I love you.” You’d state with the most innocent look you can muster.

- Barold moves onto Aizawa’s island and AIZAWA WANTS HIM GONE. You’d noticed online how the character had been getting a fair amount of disapproval, but it couldn’t be that bad. Well, Aizawa led you to Barolds house and you were amazed to see the surveillance stuff he has up, and you agree with Aizawa. Boi gotta go.  

- You decide to mess with him one day so you send all his students his switch friendship code, and Momo helps you design the schools uniform for the students. Some even make their hero costumes. When he gets on one evening he’s horrified to see all his students sitting in classroom chairs in the center of his island. Some of the villagers are passing by trying to talk to them, and you’re chilling on a bench. You walk over to your boyfriend and pull out a party popper and spray confetti over him yelling “Surprise! They wouldn’t pay attention on Zoom, so I thought they’d pay attention on here!”

- He just stares you down from his side of the bed. You refuse to look up from your switch to meet his irritated gaze.

- You’re not allowed on his island for a week.

[whaleofatjme1920]

Elsie are you hiding some kind of secret stash-

Yea its a it gets kinda sad thing lmao

I got like two more stories planned, one explaining her fear of insects and another about her broken ring

I actually remembered that i co wrote a smut once, and i still wanna write smut-

Yknow whats a funny situation, there's an inside joke between me and my brother that one time Quill and Dmitri did a one night stand together after a foundation party and they both dont even know that it was each other and when they explained about who their one night stand was, the descriptions are similar to one another but they never put two and two together. Its not canon we just think its funny

I do, and I mostly write them when I’m prompted to. Caveat is to find this out you can’t be asking me about it in my inbox! Have to dm me here or on discord because as free and as open as I am about talking about sex, smut, all of it, I don’t find it polite to constantly be bombarding this space with horny posts. Again, anyone is allowed to send horny thoughts here, you’re safe to do so! But my own thoughts, usually personal when it comes to this topic, come second as like,,, y’all they’re personal what do you expect? I have some boundaries about what I willingly show you and what not.

I mean why don’t you make an offshoot or an AU for it?? There’s nothing wrong with her doing so. I don’t know if there is any singular canon for Tjme other than she’s a fish woman. Whatever is on her origins doc is final and everything else is hearsay until I say other wise. And I’m constantly shifting so Y’know, she does too

Also you should write smut it’s great for descriptions and looking deeper into emotions rather than just plot by itself. It depends, of course, but smut can be a great exercise in trying a different style or descriptors.

[heartate-aa]

hiii so me and you already talked extensively about this but this is for anyone else who might not know. pertaining to my own experience with raphael.

i'm zach! if you've all been in tumblr rp for a hot minute you probably would know my old kaworu nagisa blog from a few years back, seelesdog, which i eventually deleted during a panic attack caused by raphael's little clique. i was "friends" with raphael & co. for a few months (not my best moment; that circle influenced me badly and i was extremely angry and mean during that time and i've already apologized to people for it). it seemed to be fine, i thought raphael was cool and seemed really nice and, well, we shared a lot of mutuals, so obviously i could trust them, right? they even had access to my fucking vent (which is something they'd later use against me). it was great til they suddenly got cold without explanation. til they started making fun of me to my face.

for a while their beef seemed mainly with my then-boyfriend (who is still my friend), but i did learn that for whatever reason they spread around our dms when we decided to part ways. their dm basically boiled down to "you talking about your mental health makes me feel bad" and guilted me for letting them follow my vent? huh? anyway. once they had a falling out with my then-bf i just thought it was funny how the very next day their friends started dropping me with no explanation, or people i was laughing and joking around with a day before suddenly started giving me the cold shoulder. very funny. wonder why that was

it's also Fucking Hilarious that they used you, rina, as their attack dog. because they couldn't stay off my fucking blog even though i respected their boundaries and left them the hell alone. because i'm not a weird fucking stalker. so they used you to come yell at me. it's also Fucking Hilarious how when they fell out with another friend of theirs and i liked said friend's tweets in support, they went and called me a fucking rape apologist as if i'm not a survivor myself. god, actually, it's insane the absolutely vile and hateful things they said about me that they apparently were incapable of saying to my face. insane how they apparently shittalked me so much in private that it started annoying multiple people. even though i was nothing but kind to them. i had only wanted to be their friend, even when they started patronizing me and treating me like a fucking insect.

cool how they had their friends imply i was faking my newly-diagnosed avpd, as if it was ever their business considering we hadn't been following each other for months, because they're the only person who can ever have avpd, or something. cool how they were saying i sent hate to them about their ex-friend as if i gave enough of a shit about them to go out of my way to do that. cool of them to lie about me over. and over. and over. cool of them to make me lose friends, worsen my trust issues and paranoia, and break me so fucking thoroughly i ended up in the hospital.

whatever i fucking did back in the year of our good lord twenty-sixteen, i can assure you i'm not that person anymore. not even close. but you, raphael? you haven't changed a single fucking bit, you miserable little twat. go to hell. take your insincere, condescending apologies and shove them up your ass.

[starlit-lion]

2, 8, 11, 14 for the D&D asks?

I’m gonna do Bellona for this one and she’s impossible to talk about without spoilers so friends that play in the game with her and are by an off chance here: Don’t look!! 2. When you were creating this character, what was their original draft? Are they the same character you intended to make? So Bellona has changed dramatically from my original idea for her! I knew I wanted to make her as soon as I read the UA for Swarmkeeper Ranger and had an intense need to play it. But originally she was going to be a Kenku that looked like a bee eater or a honeyguide and learned to talk at a farmer’s market while selling honey. And I was tossing around putting a lot of humming/buzzing noises into their speech bc they hear everything filtered through their beehives buzzing around them. This version was also going to go a lot more insect-like with morality and mannerisms as they copied from their hive. But then... Her concept changed dramatically when I saw a picture of medieval beekeepers and knew I had to make her look like that instead. Especially when I talked about it with dnd friends and one of them joked ‘Haha the party might never know what your character’s face looks like in that outfit’. I didn’t want to let go of being a Kenku right away, but it was a little much to hide the specific bird design under the cloak and the beak wouldn’t hide under the mask well without everyone going ‘well that’s either a weird plague doctor or an actual bird’ so I decided to go back to a more human-ish race, especially after drawing a design for her that would look best as that. And then I came up with the name ‘Bellona Bumblefoot’ which sounded like a Halfling name to me! But I still sort of wanted to do an unusual race so there would be a surprise to reveal... So I ended up with a Goblin being taken in by Halfling beekeepers, but using their gear as a disguise when she leaves home to become an adventurer! 8. What’s one weird personal headcanon you have for the character that’s not addressed or that you haven’t found a way to share yet? I have revealed she wears glasses under her mask with some offhand comments in character! Partially, I just think it’s funny for a ranger that spends at least half of her time using a longbow to be nearsighted. But also... My headcanon that ties this trait into her character is that Goblins (from her clan at least) are very commonly nearsighted. It’s not typically a problem since they live in tunnels where they don’t have to see far into the horizon. But being taken into a landscape of flat, open farm fields, Bellona and her brother both ended up needing glasses to help them see.

11. Who or what was your inspiration when creating this character? How does it show? This can be visual, backstory, personality, anything.

As stated above, the Swarmkeeper class UA and images of medieval beekeepers!  Mothman is also an inspiration for her design, in adding two crow feathers as antennae in her hood, tails to her cloak to look like folded insect wings, and the fact that her eyes glow red in dim light.

14. Have you made any aus for this character? If so, what? Which is your favorite? Which is most developed? Which deserves more development and attention?

I haven’t done any AU’s per say, but I have a few slightly different versions of her backstory written out. If I bring her into a campaign more focused on that kind of thing, my plan is to pick whichever one best fits the setting and how the DM wants to handle Goblins in their world. Pretty much the most developed/current version of her story is, her Goblin clan is chased out of the tin mine they peacefully operate by misguided adventurers. In the chaos, they abandon Bellona and her brother Bart as infants in a barn where it seems they’ll be safe. The Halflings that own the barn (the Bumblefoots) find them, but no one ever comes back so they adopt the children as their own. Bart takes to tinkering, crafting, and fixing things around town, while Bellona takes to caring for animals and is the only one of the current Bumblefoot children that is willing/able to bond with the magic Feywild bees the family have been keeping for generations. Being extremely inquisitive, Bart eventually uncovers what happened to his and Bellona’s blood relations, becomes angry and runs away to think about it. Meanwhile, the Bumblefoots ironically try to hire the same adventurers that flushed the Goblin clan out of their mine to help him. The adventurers pretty much laugh at the idea of saving a Goblin and tell them they should get rid of Bellona too. Which of course they are not doing because these are their children and the tiny Halflings shoo these assholes out of their house. But that hasn’t fixed anything, so Bellona dons her beekeeping suit, takes the feywild bees, and finds Bart by herself. She helps some people along the way, and in the end decides she can be a better adventurer than the ones that hurt them. But she soon realizes people like her better when she keeps her mask on. After everything, shyness and fear begin to get the better of her, so she becomes secretive about her identity to everyone but her bees. In an alternate, darker version, the original Goblin clan fell apart or left their mine for other reasons. Bellona doesn’t find Bart when she sets out alone to find him. It gets assumed that other Goblins kidnapped him (actually he’s gone with them willingly but no one knows this). Bellona is much more vengeful in this version and comes to hate other Goblins and Monsters for hurting her family and the other Halflings in the region, which she considers herself more a part of. She keeps her mask on because she doesn’t want others pointing out the contradiction, even as she has nightmares about hurting Goblins that end up being herself or her brother when she looks at them too closely.

[botslayer]

Fantasy and Scifi “Racism,” an opinion piece:

This whole thing is gonna be a slurry of politics, hot takes, nerd shit, some pictures to make it not a snooze fest on the eyes, and me asking the lot of ya to consider both sides of an argument. If you have a problem with any of that, please leave. All that said, let's get on with it: Let’s take three gentlemen for an example. One is from Poland. One is from Angola, one is from South Korea. What does that tell us about them? We can infer averages. For example, The average Polish man’s height is about five feet, ten and a half inches, so the Polish gentleman’s height might be in that ballpark. A very well known Korean dish is Kimchi, so it is moderately safe to assume the Korean man has, at some point, eaten it. Two of Angola’s largest provinces happen to be “Moxico” and “Cuandocubango” and one of it’s most populated is called “Huambo” So it would be a moderately safe bet to assume the man from Angola is from one of those areas. Their countries/continents of origin don’t directly tell us much though. Hell, we could be dealing with a Polish little person, a Korean who has bafflingly never had kimchi and an Angolan from Lunda Sul. We also don’t know about their outlooks, their lives, mental conditions they might have. Hell, we may not know what race these guys are. There’s a slim chance the Angolan Gentleman is Chinese (1.4% of the country’s population) Or that the Polish guy is ethnically German. We just don’t know. What we do know for a fact is that they’re all human men. They have (most likely) similar psychology, anatomy, dietary need to not starve to death or dehydrate, etc. And that’s about it. Now let’s take a sample from three fictional species off the top of my head: Starting with a Furon from Destroy all humans.

Now, Furons are pretty much universally shorter and physically weaker than humans, so it is safe to assume our single Furon has these qualities. He's also likely a psychic as that's a common attribute of his people. Also common would be the perception of humans as cattle, his possession of advanced force field technology is also pretty much a guarantee. Outliers exist and all that but something worth mentioning: This Furon is a Furon. In other news: The sky is blue, yeah? The problem is though: The Furons are very much not humans. And there aren't too many "races" in that equation, either. Just the populace of the Furon Homeworld. It's also worth noting that we don't actually know what Furons eat, their water intake any of that. We know only so many details but with just those, it's obvious that Furons and humans are too damn different. For species two, let's look at Mind Flayers from DnD.

Mind Flayers, otherwise known as "Illithids," are generally humanoid creatures born through a process known as "Ceramorphosis." See, Illithids are anatomically asexual, as in, they self inseminate and produce eggs from their mouths. They put the eggs in with an entity called "The Elder brain" which is a conglomerate of other Illithid brains, the tadpoles eat one another or get eaten by the brain for about ten years before being selected and implanted into a sentient creature (Humans, elves, etc) From there, the tadpole eats the brain of that creature, replacing it with its own and slowly altering their anatomy until you get a malevolent microcthulhu with potent psychic powers and the need to eat one entire human-level brain every month. Mindflayers start their lives as parasites that literally consume your entire sense of self and mutate you into an unrecognizable husk with a cephalopod for a face. And they have the gall to consider humans lesser? How bloody dare... an entirely separate species of sentient creatures come to that conclusion. For our last example, let's talk about a species from a setting best described as Technomystical: The Skakdi from Bionicle.

For those who don't know what that species is, The Piraka from the 2006 toyline are all examples of Skakdi. Now, Skakdi look, and they are, absolutely brutal. For example, the species was beset by an army of large and lethal creatures called "Zyglak" after becoming what they are today, the lot of them being mutants. The Zyglak were completely wiped out. Skakdi are savage in the best of ways. They aren't just beasts, they're berserkers with the powers of the elements, however, it does require two of them to activate such powers. Thing is though, they're all like that. The entire species has been mutated from what it once was into a legion that knows little else other than slaughter and subjugation of others... Generally speaking, at least. The problem with all three of these species, or "Races" (As I do NOT prefer to call it), and in fact most species from almost all settings is that they're a monolith. Illithids, for example, generally all follow the same societal structure, living in large groups wherever they can under the "guidance" (as in "Hivemind link") of elder brains, some strike out on their own, but for the most part, they live under elder brains, no matter where in the world they are. There aren't competing Illithid Nations or sub-species with things that makes them distinctly Korean or Aztec inspired unless the DM adds those things. And even then, when settings do that, say, Warhammer, there are some groups that are a national proxy (The Empire is Germany, Bretonnia is France, etc) and then some proxies are just an entire species. (See the Lizard Men, who went from Native American-coded to Aztec over the course of some years.) Adding to these things is a slight elephant in the room. Alignment systems. See, humans in games like DnD can be anything from neutral evil to chaotic good, true neutral to lawful evil, etc. But then some species are stuck as inherently good or evil or inherently lawful or chaotic. The problem with saying that about a sentient species is that it smacks a bit of actual, real racism/racist ideas. The idea that this group of beings that just lives differently to the rest of us is inherently almost anything is clearly bad, right? Well... Maybe if we didn't do that IRL, that would feel more genuine. The hell am I on about?

We, as humans, understand that other species of everything from primates to insects are naturally more aggressive, more gentle, more poisonous, more endowed with certain senses, etc. All except for other groups of humans. Because save for pigments of skin, general height, and elements of culture, pretty much all human groups are the same.  That said: Point me to the the race of humans more naturally endowed with psychic powers. Or the human race that can only go on by implanting itself in other humans and slowly making people lose their minds until only they take over said body. 

I can show you examples of animals doing the whole “Eating you from the inside out” thing. But not humans. Hell, even cannibals have to get a cut off of ya first. But that’s just how beings like Mind Flayers operate. I can show you examples of more aggressive insectoid life vs ones that just want to be left alone. Generally speaking, a wasp is more aggressive than a ladybug. But that’s because they evolved differently to one another. Like Mind Flayers have from elves. Or like Furons have from Blisk. Or like The Skakdi had from Matoran, even before being mutants. Does that make them (wasps) “Evil” though? Well... No. The problem is that wasps took on the various scary attributes they did because that was the hand nature played for them. A wasp does not choose to start life by eating it’s way out of a living tarantula and then spending the rest of it angrily defending whatever it considers to be it’s “territory” only to lay another one of its kind into another tarantula, that’s just what the little bastards do without thinking because that’s how they adapted to the world. I would say though that Furons are evil. They view an entire species they consider intelligent (Even “Loosely”) as cattle to harvest DNA from and otherwise use as playthings, killing them en masse just for shits and giggles. Mindflayers, I would say much the same of unless they willingly find violent/genuinely harmful examples of intelligent life that will do the world no good and then eat only them. But no, these freaks bred an entire species of creatures to have massive brains and be super passive just to make eating their brains easier. That’s pretty damn evil.

(Pictured above, an Oortling from Forgotten Realms 2e) Creatures like the Krill from Seth Macfarlane’s “The Orville” believe all other sentient species are lesser than them. The galaxy is for them and them alone to conquer and do with as they please. Such is the Will of their god Avis. They started stabbing a human head live in front of other Krill in an episode as part of their religious practices. But then the species has some nuance. This fundamentalism and extremism is how they cope with being so damn small in the face of an uncaring, unfeeling void. So are the Krill evil? No. They’re afraid. 

Coming back to the Skakdi, They started out as relatively peaceful until a creature from the Makuta species showed up and mutated the lot of them into the magabadasses they are now. All of them now have, fighting skill equal to, if not greater than most Toa, and even elemental powers. But they aren’t all evil. They’re just aggressive, angry, and furthermore, also probably hurting. A peaceful existence was just taken from these poor bastards, all they know now is conflict with one another. So are the Skakdi evil? No. Some of them might be but it ain’t because they’re Skakdi. 

See, Skakdi and Krill are important things to remember here because they, while still being monolithic as cultures, have a little more depth than just the myriad ways in which they’re evil bastards.  But Mind Flayers? Not really. Not unless the DM adds that. Furons? I mean... Sometimes they become friends or mate with humans but not usually. And what of the big old elephant in the room? The Orcs of D&D? Orcs as a species were recently described as only having limited capacities for things like empathy... If raised outside the violent and chaotic madness that is living with other orcs.

This is the thing that sparked this post, so I will now, at the near end, address it specifically: People find the wording here to be reminiscent of things actual racist propaganda and ideas perpetuated about pretty much specifically black people as I understand it. Which, I genuinely wouldn’t know. I never really grew up around that stuff and I do my best to avoid racists/racism in my day-to-day. But to me? This just makes a depressing kind of sense. The species that evolved/was made or whatever to be this big, hulking set of warrior badasses. has a limited ability to understand what it is to be the other guy. Seems legit. Especially when you remember that even if Orcs are just another group of primates, they aren’t human and would likely have psychological differences to humans. 

This is a baby chimpanzee. Look at it. It’s cute. You want one, don’t you? Well... That’s not advised, honestly. Chimps can be fucking monsters. Don’t know what I mean? A. I’m surprised. B. Just google “Chimpanzee attacks” if you have the stomach for it. Not all Chimps will do it, but chimps can and do, do it. Some Chimps hunt monkeys for food in their territory. It’s royally fucked up, but its a thing they do. And you know how different human DNA is to theirs? About 1%. I personally don’t see anything wrong with saying “An entire species is evil” in any setting other than that being shallow as fuck. I also personally don’t see anything wrong with suggesting that a species has limited empathy because honestly...? Just look at nature and even humans. Fantasy and Scifi often entertain the idea of “What if we are not the only living things smart/naturally equipped enough to build a society?”  But the sad reality is if we weren’t? Most other species wouldn’t act a damn thing like humans, most other species probably wouldn’t give a shit about us, and a large number, even if they can and do act like us in some ways, will not in all ways.  So, to bring this ramble to something resembling a conclusive point: Fantasy/Scifi “Racism” (As in just being prejudiced, although it should just be Xenophobia, IMO) is way more understandable and even more easily believable than the real thing because we stopped talking humans the second we brought in the crazy dudes with octopus heads. Or who are just naturally, by virtue of their species (not “race”) psychic. And even if it was just between groups that didn’t exist, nature proves that it would most definitely happen.  But those are just my thoughts, anybody wanna weigh in? I’m all ears. 

[ellieaelious]

Ellie Aelious }{Multiverse OC}{Post Fire Crisis

A/N: Finally complete!!! It was a long road, and took way too long, but it is finally finished! I ended up cutting a lot of things from it that did not have to do with her character, which helped a lot. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to DM me. I’ve been working on her for about fifteen years, and I still don’t have all the kinks worked out, but it’s been a fun road to get here!

This is Ellie after she gains control over the fire realm and the element of fire, all the way through her worlds Armageddon. Ten years pass in the human realm, while over 5,000 pass in the elemental realms. You have the option of choosing what stage of her life you interact with her, or I can toss her at you during a time I believe will best suit our roleplay.

So when you see an x-z that means that depending on the time frame, is dependent on when she looks or acts like X or Z. She will also change and grow in the threads we have.

Credit: Big-Ass Character Sheet by Character-Resources This is going to be what I use from now on for all of my muses, regardless if they are OC or canon. Everyone can get a good idea of them, and it will also help me when it comes to writing, since I won’t have to explain every single thing over and over again.

Verse: Realms series (book series I’m writing) Date: 7/18/2019 Full Name: Ellen Sebastiana O’Donnelly Pronunciation: El-en Sea-bass-tea-ah-na Oh-Don-el-ee Nickname/Alias: Ellie Aelious Meaning: Ellie-Pet form of Ellen or more commonly Eleanor, which itself is of Hebrew origin and comes from the Hebrew element 'el' meaning 'god' and 'or' meaning light, so the name means 'God is my light' or 'God is my candle'. Aelious-The Realmain form of “Aelius” which is a Roman family name which was possibly derived from the Greek word 'ηλιος (helios) meaning "sun".  Origin: Not going to lie. I thought of the name and then the meaning just worked. That’s usually how I pick common names. For other languages, I research them. I seriously thought I made up Aelious, until Google said “Did you mean Aelius. Title: Ruler/Commander, Healer, Priest Pet Name: Aelious is actually a surname and nickname given to her by Cynbel (jfc I gotta do him too). ID Number: AR-24601 Signature: She’s ambidextrous, and before the loss of her left arm was left dominant. She still wrote with her right hand, but her handwriting is very elementary school level. Her robotic prosthetic could write perfectly, however after her arm regrows she is left with a limb that trembles and twitches when she goes to write. It makes her signature almost illegible, and she prefers to initial with her right hand. Gender: Female Gender Role: Very femme and lady like. Orientation: Pansexual/Polyamorous Real Age: Although she was born in 1983, because of the time differences between the human and element realms she is between 137-268 post arm loss, and can be anywhere up to five thousand after her arm regrows. Age Appearance: 21 Birthday: March 10th, 1983 Deathday: Armagaddon, exact date unknown. Birthplace: New York, New York, USA Astrological Sign: Pisces Zodiac Sign: Water Pig Immediate Family:  Legal Guardian: Earnest O’Donnelly (deceased) Mother: Tonalnan (deceased) Father figure: Cynbel Uncle: Dante (DMCverse) Half-Brother: Nero (DMCverse) Adoptive Brother: Peter Jason Quill (GotG) Mother figure: Marina Udonta Distant Family:  Father: Aluk Mal Tuk Grandfather: Shin Kage Grandmother: Eveelyn Ardelian Species: Realmain (I will be posting separately about this race.) Ethnicity: Celtic and Hispanic Blood Type: Formerly O+. She no longer has blood, and instead bleeds a silver liquid. Preferred Hand: Left Facial Type: Diamond Eye Color: Dark brown. White or red when using air and fire abilities respectively. Hair Color: Black Hairstyle: 

Skin Tone: Pale White when using air powers. Dark tan when using fire. Complexion: Clear Makeup: Very light make-up during special occasions. Has started wearing winged eyeliner. Build: Body claim is Samantha Wright

Height: 5′3-5′8 Weight: 538lbs - 598lbs Cup Size: A-C cup Facial Hair: none Shoe Size: US 7 - US 9.5 Birthmarks/scars: A large scar going from her left shoulder, across her chest, and stopping half way to her right. It goes from the base of her neck to the beginning of her cleavage, around to her back. It stops at the nape of her neck and right before her shoulder blades on the left. It’s from when she had her left arm ripped off, along with a good portion of her skin.

After her arm regrows, the scar mostly heals, only leaving a faint outline around her left shoulder.

She has a mole/beauty mark on her left side, right under her bottom lip.

Many faint and small scars pepper her body, visible under a blacklight or bioluminescence given off by plants and insects.

In an alternate timeline, (DmCverse), she has half of her face scarred by an angel’s attack. Her eye is red, and it goes into her hairline, all the way to the back of her head. Distinguishing Features: Her eyes are her most distinguishing feature, able to convey a thousand emotions at once. Because of her empathic ability, if she looks someone else in the eyes, she is not only able to read their emotions, but also alter how they see her.

As she grows older, her eyes convey less innocence, and more of someone who is weary. Although the light has not gone out behind her eyes, it has dimmed significantly from when she first became a ruler.

She always has an innocent appearance about her features, usually appearing dumbfounded by the world around her. It’s not a true reflection of herself, but something that most people see at first glance. Health: She’s very healthy and her diet consists of mostly meat. She works out daily and although she loves sweets, limits them to once a week. Energy: She generates, at the minimum, enough energy to keep two realms and their inhabitants alive. That is around 6-9 billion per realm. This energy is all in reserve, and not accessible for fighting.

Aside from that, in her home dimension she generates enough excess energy to command both air and fire. She is one of the eight strongest beings, aside from angels or demons, and ranks somewhere in the third or forth strongest. Her max power level sees her generating enough energy to destroy a planet the size of her largest realm, twice.

Outside of her dimension, her excess power is diminished by half, and she can only regenerate after sleeping twelve or more hours. Because of this, she uses physical attacks when outside of her own dimension. Memory: Her memories are tied to emotions. The stronger the emotion at the time, the more likely she is to remember the event in detail. She also remembers odd events, like someone mentioning rubberbands. Senses: Her eyesight is well enough she doesn’t need to use a mounted sight on a firearm. She can see for several miles, but cannot see in dim or low lighting.

She can feel vibrations and use them to navigate in the dark as well. This has helped since she began losing her hearing a century ago.

Her sense of smell and taste are better, able to recognize someone’s scent, and develop a taste signature for them as well. This also has the negative affect of smelling something horrible, and also developing a taste signature for it. Fortunately, her nose is not what she breaths out of, so she can avoid this most times.

Her sixth sense, if you will, is extremely high. She can read a persons emotions from the next room, feel the presence of demonic entities, and can hide her own presence from them.

Allergies: Strawberries, birch water, cut grass. Handicaps: 

With her hearing failing, it has been difficult for her to adjust to using vibrations to get around. While she can feel the vibrations of someone talking, she is still not fully able to differentiate between words.

After the loss of her left arm, she suffers from muscle spasms in her left shoulder. Even after her arm regrows, she has painful and powerful muscle spasms. They will often require her to take a moment to collect herself, as she’s almost blacked out from the pain.

Although she’s not mentally slow, because of her time being raised among humans, her actual brain deteriorates whenever she goes back to the human realm. This includes other dimensions that are heavily populated by humans. She will sometimes stare off into the distance or quit speaking, only to act like nothing happened. This is her healing factor attempting to repair the damage.

Highly prone to panic attacks. When she has one, she will find it difficult to breath and begin to disrobe so her lungs can have better access to air. These have lasted up to three days, and she becomes violent when people approach her during them.

She has grotesque visions of hell, and often hears demons whispering in her ear. This can cause her panic attacks, as well as send her into a temporary delirious  state. Dante and Cynbel are the only ones that can calm her down when she gets like this.

Medication: She usually chews on herbs and roots from the nature realm for ailments. She also eats ‘edibles’, a relaxant from the nature realm that has similar properties to marijuana. She eats them in marshmallow form, usually to get high. Phobias: Spiders, water, being alone, the dark, and whispering. Addictions: Salted marshmallows. She will do almost anything for them. Mental Disorders:

Humans call is schizophrenia, while Realmains call it ‘Heaven Sight’. This causes her demonic visions, auditory hallucinations, as well as her anxiety. These have been constant since birth.

She is severally depressed, often on the verge of crying. This is considered a serious mental disorder caused by her high empathy. There is no way to treat it, other than developing apathy.

Style: Ellie’s style is very modest. While nudity is common in the realms, and she is comfortable with it, she covers up completely when outside of her realm. Her military uniform changes, but usually consists of vests, cargo pants, and military boots.

Her formal attire as a ruler ranges from ancient Grecian/Roman robes, to something akin to Elvish dress. It’s the few times she wears dresses anymore.

When she is having a casual day, it’s leggings/jeans and a loose fitting shirt. She does enjoy dressing in flowing garments, and does have a personal tailor that designs her clothing to wear outside of the nine realms. In her later years, she wears more fun things, and sometimes will be seen in her brother’s hoodie and booty shorts if she’s woken up suddenly.

All of her military clothes are white, while her casual clothing changes in color. She does not wear black, as it’s against her vows as a sacred virgin. Grooming: Her hair is always well maintained and braided, only becoming messy in battle. Even then, she is quick to fix it.

After an encounter with a demonic entity later in life, she has kept her hair cut very short, only a few inches long. When questioned about it, she will change the subject immediately.

 As far as other hair goes, because she does not produce pheromones the same way as other mammals, she has little to no body hair to worry about. Posture: Her posture if usually back straight, chest out, chin up, and hands on her hips or crossed. If she is in a more relaxed setting, or not trying to be intimidating, she will let her hip cock to the side and slouch just a bit.

When frightened, she will hunker down and cower, making herself as small as possible.

Gait: She can’t help but have a very bouncy way of walking. Because she is usually just barely levitating off the ground, her motion is very fluid and swaying.

When approaching an enemy or upset, she will have a stalking manner of movement. Her shoulders will be forward, her steps heavy and deliberate, and fists clenched. Coordination: When in a fighting mindset, her reflexes and coordination are topnotch. Very little will get by her, and she is able to dodge bullets, as well as deflect them back to her opponent. It’s taken her almost two hundred years to perfect.

Outside of battle, she has tripped over her own feet. While levitating. She’s merely easily distracted, and doesn’t pay attention to her surroundings unless she has to. Habits and Mannerisms: 

Left over from when her time without her arm, she will often let her left arm fall slack, forgetting it’s her own. This will cause her to bump into things with it.

She wrings her fingers a lot when she is nervous, and bites her bottom lip.

When she is focused on a task, or trying to decipher something, she will whisper to herself, along with moving her fingers like she is slowly typing in the air.

When frightened, she will immediately bite her lips and make her eyes wider. It’s instinctive to attempt to bring out the nurturing side of whoever is frightening her.

She has a habit of lightly touching people without realizing it. It’s often confused for flirting, but it’s only because she is touch starved.

She will pull out a book and read when she feels she is being ignored, purposely ignoring the other when they try to get her attention.

Scent: Spring Jasmine by Wild Spirit Mood: Contemplative is her usual mood when you catch her off guard. She has a lot on her mind, and not a lot of time to herself. She acts happy around others, smiling and laughing, but it’s only because she is replaying old emotions to make other feels better. She is no longer ignorant to the world, and has seen and experienced the darkness it holds. It weighs on her heavily and makes her very tired.

Being an empath, her mood is also determined by those around her. If you’re mad, she’ll be mad. If you’re being rude, she will reflect it back on you. Although she is kind at the core, she will stand up for herself and give you a taste of your own personality. Attitude: She has a very positive and upbeat attitude, despite her circumstances. She always tries to get people to be happy and rally the troops.

She can and does do a 180, and will become angry, and ho boy, whoever is on the receiving end is in for it. She has been called merciless and monstrous in her rage. Stability: Her emotional spectrum is all over the place. As the strongest empath of her world, she is able to feel the emotions of every living thing all at once. As a child, it caused her attempted suicide. And while she has learned to cope, it does become overwhelming.

Her personal emotions can also be affected by someone else. This means, feelings of love may not always be hers. Expressiveness: She is always very open with how she feels. If she is choosing to be distant with someone, it’s a bad sign. When Happy: She will often hum a tune, usually a soft cover of a metal band. She may even do Tai Chi moves or spin if she’s really happy. When Depressed: She’s always in some form of depression, but at it’s worst she will hide herself away to cry in peace. If she does manage to break down in front of someone, it can make her feel worse. Although she no longer cuts herself, she is not above ramming her head into the ground in an attempt to knock herself out. When Angry: When she becomes angry, she will become quiet and stiff. Her movements are quick and deliberate. She is at her most dangerous when angry or upset. Current Residence: She resides in the air realm, but does spend time in the fire realm as she is now the ruler of it as well. Community: The air realms community is very calm and peaceful. Even the soldiers are seen smiling as they go about their day.As their main duty is to pray and rally the troops, it is a very calming place to be.

The fire realm is friendly, but they value feats of strength and often friends will spar in the streets. It’s all in good fun, but takes some getting used to. Family: Ellie’s only living family is adoptive or half related to her. She spends most of her time with either Cynbel or Marina, and then Dante and Nero. Friends: Beau is her best friend, and it’s rare to not see them running around together.

After going through training with Ansinna, she has become best friends with her, and appointed her as a personal guard. Enemies: Her father, demonic creatures, and those who would hurt the innocent. Bosses: She is her own boss, answering to no one but a higher ranking angel or the Lord. Followers: All inhabitants of her realms and army answer to her. Heroes: Marina, being a strong woman is one of her idols. Most of the women in her life she aspires to be like. Aside from that, mentors from other dimensions. Rivals: Her Dark Saer alternate, as well as the demon Heretic. Pets/Familiars: The last chimera of her dimension, and she managed to tame it with a stick of beef jerky. It’s a shape shifter, and is usually in the form of a snake with rabbit ears. It wraps loosely around her neck, or takes residence in her cleavage. Equipment:

Weapons-Air

Ellie’s main weapon is a grey staffed naginata. It has a wider blade on one end, and her dagger bladed fan on the other. She is able to separate it at the middle for two weapons. It is an extension of her soul, and so long as she has the will to live and fight, it is unbreakable and unable to be wielded by any other. When another does decide to wield it, they will begin to gasp for breath before the oxygen is pulled from their body.

For a time she used one of her mother’s desert eagles. After an understanding came about between Nero and herself, she let it fall into the lake of fire. After this, Dante had her customized guns like his made. She calls them Alpha and Omega. Over time, Dante has taught her trick shots, and her and Nero perform a similar move to ‘Jackpot’ called ‘Fragmented Reality’.

Her custom lever action rifle has a white body with silver, Celtic knot accents. The bullets fired are made by gathering matter, which means the farther the bullet travels, the bigger is becomes. It’s her preferred form of firearm, however she is only accurate within her line of sight. If an enemy is behind her, she is unable to accurately fire at them. Because she shoots from the left, the recoil to her shoulder makes her have to take frequent breaks.

She is trained in a wide variety of weapons, but refuses to use swords. She is also trained to use unconventional weapons, such as household items and the environment.

Weapons-Fire

When she’s finally able to control her fire abilities, her naginata reverts back to her bladed fan. She uses it for defense mostly, relying on her other fire based weapon for offense.

The chain whip allows her to keep enemies at a distance, and control their movement. Should one get too close, she will wrap her whip around them, activating the blades and using it as a medieval styled chainsaw.

Her guns are named vitam et mortem (life and death in Latin) while in her fire form. Vitam has the ability to raise an ally back from near death, while mortem can kill with a single shot.

Her rifle turns into a Day of the Dead themed lever action shotgun called Vespillo (Latin for Undertaker).

Technology-

The nine realms are far more technologically advanced than most other worlds. As such, she has some very useful equipment. One of which is her visor (I will provide references later). It’s a thin piece of crystal that forms across her eyes that acts to protect them, as well as provide an HUD with her stats, as well as information about the area around her. It’s linked to three micro bots that float around the area, allowing her to enter into a third person mode.

Later in life, the visor is replaced by contact lenses that connect through micro wires into the user’s nervous system. This allows the user to non-verbally control what they are seeing, and switch between 1st person, 3rd person, night vision, and HUD.

Before her arm grew back, she had a robotic prosthetic. While it mimicked the look and feel of her original arm, it was still traumatic to use. It was able to detach and move independently to scout an area, attack, and shock an enemy.

If she’s not using her visor or contacts, she does use her IDA. Inter-Dimensional Assistant. It’s a small piece of crystal that holds a super computer, and is wired to her home dimensions mainframe. She’s able to make phonecalls, hack into systems, give someone a physical, X-Ray, produce holograms, and all kinds of neat Sci-Fi stuff.

Recently, after discovering their enemy has been using habitable planets to farm humans, space ships have become a thing. She’s still hesitant about using them, but her current vehicle is able to use collapsible technology to change into a fighter jet, or a short flight space ship.

Accessories:

Tattoos-

On her left arm, after it grows back, is a faint purple outline of her veins.

On her right arm, after retrieving the crown of thorns, it wrapped around her right forearm and embedded into her skin as a tattoo.

Her legs are tattooed with a black background encasing Celtic knots on her left, and Mayan ruins on her right.

Her back has a cross burned into it, going from the base of her neck to her tailbone.

Lastly, on her chest is a black hand print from her mother marking her, over her heart.

Piercings- Only one in each ear.

Trinkets: Star of David necklace and cross earrings. Will occasionally wear bracelets during formal events. Funds: Money has no value in the nine realms. However, the fire realm has diamond rain whenever a volcano erupts, and any gold farmed is used for trade with humans. Her actual wealth, like all other rulers, is immeasurable. She enjoys giving it away, as she does not like the idea of money. Lovers: 

The former ruler of water, Mick, was her first crush. She loved him deeply, and had to hold him in her arms as he died. This pretty much scarred her from developing feelings for men.

Right before the death of her first love, she agreed to marry someone for a peace treaty. After the wedding, she locked herself away and protected herself with a powerful storm. A clone of her was used to kill Mick, and afterwards a very bloody and very quick war broke out, involving the death of her husband.

Cetrion is a former lover. Because of their virtuous nature they both found comfort in each other. It was broken off by Cetrion at the behest of Kronika. It still hurts Ellie deeply.

She has a crush on Leon S. Kennedy, and chooses to stay away from him because of it.

Erron Black gives her confusing feelings. She isn’t sure if she likes him, or wants to shoot him.

Enchantress/June Moone. A former girlfriend while Ellie was coming into power. Although she loved her, the relationship was not good mentally for Ellie and she broke it off.

Jason Todd was a mentor turned boyfriend for a few weeks, before they both realized it wouldn’t work. They are still friends.

Marital Status: Multiship Sex Life: SACRED.VIRGIN. (But I mean...boop her) Type: She is accepting of many types, so long as you are not a bad person. Even then, if you redeem yourself, she can find you suitable. This is not to say she will only date a hero type. She wants someone that is true to themselves, whatever that truth may be.

She is very busy, and will not have time for you 24/7. If she is called off on a mission, it doesn’t matter if you’re cuddling on the couch, on a date, or anything else. Her duty comes first. She won’t want to leave, but she will and apologize later. Her lover needs to be understanding of this.

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, but this is her lifes work. This is what she was created and chosen for. And when the final battle comes, you won’t see her for a long time, if ever again. Turn-Ons: She wants someone that she won’t have to worry about as much. It’s hard to love mortals, so someone that could live as long as her would be preferred. She doesn’t want someone that will worship her, as that can be seen as breaking the commandments of the nine realms, but will appreciate her. They need to be understanding that she is a broken person and not all of her pieces are there, and they’re not coming back.

If she can lay with you while you play with her hair, rub her back, and just be physically there to tether her to the world, it will mean everything to her.

Lastly, someone that will just be kind to her. That she can come home to after a long week, month or some extended period of time and be close to. She doesn’t need anyone that will get tired of waiting for her and leave, as her duties will always come first. Turn Offs: Someone that is cruel to her or others. Disrespectful, tries to change who or what she is. Just don’t be a moist bint. Position: Switch. Sub in her human form, dom in her true form Sub position: The Seashell. She loves to be on her back with her lover’s hands wrapped around her ankles, pushing them back behind her head and into the mattress. Dom position: The Amazon. With a set of hands holding her lover’s knees or ankles, another hand hold their wrists together above their head, and her free hand to explore or choke them. Fetishes: Human Form-

Reassurance/Praising. Either her reassuring her partner or vice versa. Punishment/Desecration. She has a deep seeded desire to be punished, and a dark part of her wants to be desecrated (i.e. her willingly breaking her vow). Biting/Clawing/Marking. Choking. Since she doesn’t have an air passage in her throat, it’s more or less the idea of it. Blood flow can still be cut off to her brain, giving the desired light headed effect. Submissive positions. She enjoys being put into submissive potions over ones where she is the dominate party. Voyeurism. She can turn and her partner invisible, allowing for public places to be a go. She also likes to be watched, and wouldn’t mind if her lover caught her playing with herself.

True form- Breeding. Her main motive is to become impregnated. She’ll want you to finish inside of her. Restrains. Having four arms now, she will want to pin and restrain her partner. Marking. She will bite, claw, suck, anything she can to prove that you are her’s alone. Dominated. Despite being the dominate one, if she is dominated in battle, she will present herself on her knees with her hands held above her head, butt raised to show she submits. Virginity: She still is one. 

Element: Air and Fire. Religion: Realmain, a mix of Christianity and Judaism. Morals: Ellie is a morally upstanding citizen, for her dimension. While her duty is to protect the sanctity of human life, she will kill those that seem innocent if she is ordered to. One of the messier jobs to perform is killing children that are blacklit for death. Because this is seen as holy work, she feels no guilt for it.

She is unable to willfully lie, but whatever someone tells her, unless she knows better, will be her truth. This causes her to be easily manipulated.

While stealing is a huge no, reclaiming lost or stolen goods is acceptable. By any means.

Outside of her dimension, humans are not protected. If it means obtaining her goal or completing her mission, she can and will kill an innocent person. This is only done as a last resort, and she does her best to avoid it. Motivation: From the time she learned of the prophecy, her goal in life has been to lead the virtuous life that would allow her to pass into the dark halls unseen by evil. She knows that she will go through horrible things (such as being raped, crucified, tortured and killed, only to be brought back) but in the end it is worth it. This will allow her to let the angels into the dark halls, and kill Aluk Mal Tuk, the half demon half Realmain that raped her mother. Priorities: The code of the realms is “For Realm, For Ruler, For God” and she lives by this code. She serves her God first, and the duties bestowed upon her by Him, and then her Realm. Relationships, friendships, and anything else are the last thought on her mind.  Philosophy: Ellie sees and feels the absolute worst that humanity has to offer. She feels the suffering of the universe, and takes pity on it. She believes that everything has a reason, even the worst things. In the end, it will all be worth it. Because it has to be, or what was all this suffering for. Etiquette: Ellie has very good etiquette. She was trained by Cynbel in the ways of royalty, and displays respect to almost all races. The more evil races, she will act more animalistic around, since they look down on kindness. Culture: Being from a Hispanic and Celtic background, Ellie enjoys celebrating the holidays and festivals of both. Within reason. She does not practice anything that would be considered idol worship. She practices mostly Jewish and Realmain customs as well.

Main Goal: Keep the world turning until Armageddon is upon her dimension. Even if it kills her. Minor Goals/Ambitions: Protect as many lives, human or otherwise, as she can. Desires: Ellie desires rest. She does not enjoy doing what she does by any means. It causes her great mental anguish to keep pushing herself, but she has to. For her reward, she only wishes to rest. Accomplishments: Freeing herself from her inner darkness, and having her left arm regrow as a reward. Greatest Achievement: Commanding both the fire and air realms. Biggest Failure: Her mother and first love had to die in order for her to begin to fight and defend others. Secrets: She is aware that Cynbel is her father. And while she was upset that he hides this from her, she doesn’t mention it. Regrets: Her suicide attempts. Worries: Failing everyone around her. Best Dream:  Being rewarded not just with rest, but someone that could make her happy. Worst Nightmare: Falling into temptations and being pulled into hell. Or living with her mother. Best Memories: The times she spent with Mick and her friends. Worst Memories: Having her arm ripped off during the battle for Hong Kong. Later in life, when the demon Heretic reveals they molested her, and the memories of the events come flooding back to her. Powers/Abilities: ~Generic/No category~ -Immortality. She can only be killed by a demi god, angel, or another ruler’s weapon. If she dies by other means, she will be reformed in the lake of life. -Super strength. She is able to lift up to ten tons with ease. Anything more and her muscles begin to break down. -Speed. Although not the fastest, she is able to move fast enough to dodge bullets. -Super reflexes. She can block most blows and react quickly to most attacks. -Stamina. Her body does not produce lactic acid, meaning she does not show signs of fatigue and has stamina for weeks. -Her senses are heightened to super human levels, allowing her to perform at her highest levels. -Empathy. She is the strongest empath of her world, emotionally connected to all living beings. She is able to take the emotions away from a being and put them in another, or store them for future use. She can easily read a room and someone’s intent before officially meeting them. She can also distribute and terrifying presence to stun and scare opponents, or produce a calming affect. -A healer by nature, she is a skilled surgeon with years of practice. With her speed, she is able to perform complex operations in little to no time. -She has a vast knowledge of herbal remedies, as well as traditional medicines. -She is immune to all forms of magic, but she herself cannot affect magic things in return. ~Air~ -Ability to completely control and manipulate the air. From creating tornado, to pulling the air out of the cells of a person. She is the embodiment of air, and it bends to her will. -Turn invisible at will. -Teleport by creating a small gust of wind. -Pull oxygen out of a specified area. -Flight and levitation. -Control other air based beings -Place her hand over someone’s mouth to administer CPR. ~Fire~ -Ability to control and manipulate fire and fire based things. Such as lava. -Encase her body is magma rock. -Breath fire. -Engulf her body in fire to protect her. -Command other fire based beings. -Generate enough heat to perform a super nova. Although not as hot, she will explode with enough intensity to destroy a decently sized planet. This causes her to black out for several weeks. -Heal those that have been injured by fire. She can take the wounds upon herself, allowing the person to be completely healed of fire based wounds. ~Holy~ -On touch, she can burn anything of demonic origin. This includes her brother and uncle, who are both part demon. -Using her right hand to calm the person, she can then use her left to reach into someone and pull a demon out by force. -Ability to see a demonic presence, no matter how it hides. She can also see angelic writing, directing her to hide or run. -Enter Limbo and Hell unseen. -Open portals to send demons back to hell. -While imbued with the power of the Lord, no one may sin against her flesh. This means that as long as she has her powers, she is unable to be raped or molested. -Light does not bother her. In fact, she can see perfectly fine in it. If a flash bang were to go off, other than the noise distortion, she would be fine. Origin: Bestowed upon her by the will of the Lord. Her dimension is Christianity based. Source: The source of her powers vary. While she can use hand movements, she mostly stands still and wills her abilities into use. Although some still require a source, i.e. breathing fire. Ability: While her abilities to control air is natural, it took centuries of training to finally accept and control her fire abilities. Later in life, she is adept in all of her powers. Weaknesses:

She is unable to survive in water. If it goes above her hips, she will begin to drown. Her powers do not work while she is wet, in the rain, or humid environments.

Her empath abilities become overwhelming, and it makes it hard for her to function in large groups. The more evil a person is, the harder it is for her to function around them.

While in other dimensions, she is able to die, since she is cut off from her main power source.

If someone drop kicks her in the gut, it will stun her for an extended period of time.

Demi god weapons, angelic weapons, fallen angel weapons, and another ruler are able to permanently kill her.

She cannot see in dim light to darkness. She will be completely blind, and greatly weakened.

Her hellish visions weaken her over time.

Despite feeling someone’s ill intent, she is usually willing to give them a chance.

Immunities: Fire and air based attacks have no affect on her.

Alternate Forms: ~Air Form~ Natural Ellie. This is the form she is always in, also referred to as her human form. She has a more Celtic appearance, pale skin, red lips, dark hair and eyes.

~Fire Form~ Taking on a more Hispanic appearance, her eyes are red, skin a deep tan from being burnt from within, and her hair sprouts red roses. Her attire changes as well, wearing a red cloth corset, dark red jeans and boots, and usually Dia de la muerto make-up. The more she uses her powers, her skin will burn to a crisp, cracking open and revealing the fire burning at her core. She will often have smoke coming from her pores, and cough up lava.

~True Form~ After entering her final life cycle, she gains her true form ability to mate/reproduce. Her skin becomes a light grey, her veins visible and a dark silver underneath. She grows another five inches, and her arms become longer. Her nails are black and pointed, coated in a paralyzing poison.

Her face is more pointed, teeth now sharp and look like they’re made of a silver metal. Her eyes are a swirling mix of greys and white, hair slicked back and bristly. Black and fluffy antenna come from her forehead, like a moth. Black stripes are along her sides and neck, opening up to reveal pheromone producers.

She grows another set of arms under her original, usually holding her staff weapon.

Extra Anatomy: Her lungs are actually pockets attached to the underside of the skin of her torso and back. This means that she breaths through the pores of her skin.

Favorite Colors: Greys, whites, and pastel shades of blue and pink Favorite Animals: Dogs and large wild cats Favorite Mythological Creatures: Chimeras Favorite Places: She has a pocket dimension that is a library, filled with endless books. Other than that, Greece and quiet beaches. Favorite Landmarks: Acropolis Favorite Flavors: Leather, sea salt, and cotton candy Favorite Foods: Shrimp mee hoon and salted marshmellows Favorite Drinks: Blackberry wine, coke, and sarsaparilla. Favorite Characters: Mal and Zoe from Firefly Favorite Genre: Romantic horror Favorite Books: Where the red fern grows Favorite Movies:  Westerns Favorite Games: Chess, even though she’s not that great at it. Dodge ball. Favorite Shows: Firefly, Star Trek, Telanovellas. Favorite Music: Heavy metal, hard rock, classical. Favorite Bands: Asking Alexandria, All That Remains, In this Moment, Flyleaf, and Les Fiction. Favorite Songs: This probably won’t end well by All That Remains, Hopelessly Hopeful by Asking Alexandria, ME!ME!ME! by Teddyloid Favorite Sports: Soccer and the Realmain gauntlet. Favorite Stores: Realmain market places Favorite Subjects: Math and art Favorite Numbers: 100, 34, and 7 Favorite Websites: Doesn’t have any Favorite Words: Bueller, bumble bee, amor Favorite Quotations:  "Lastly, waging war against good people is bad for the soul. This may not seem important to you now, but it's the most important thing I've said."— Joshua Graham Least Favorite Colors: Oranges and yellows. Least Favorite Animals: Domestic cats Least Favorite Mythological Creatures: Nagas, gorgons, Minotaurs, and Pans. Least Favorite Places: Anyplace with a dark history. Least Favorite Landmarks: Eiffel tower Least Favorite Flavors: Fermented tastes, rotten, too sweet. Least Favorite Foods: Eggs, liver, and hot dogs. Least Favorite Drinks: Beer, whiskey, lemon lime soda. Least Favorite Characters: Aeris from FFVII. Any character, male or female, that is overbearing about relationships and tries to force themselves on someone. Least Favorite Genre: Reality Least Favorite Books: Self help books Least Favorite Movies:  Ninja Mime 4 Least Favorite Games: Puzzle games, because she’s not confident in her abilities. Least Favorite Shows: Reality shows Least Favorite Music: Rap/Hip Hop, R&B Least Favorite Bands: Modern hip hop and rap bands. Least Favorite Songs: Dance (A$$) because it’s always playing at strip clubs Least Favorite Sports: Cricket and blood sports. Least Favorite Stores: Outlet malls Least Favorite Subjects: Wood shop, economics. Least Favorite Numbers: 6 Least Favorite Websites: Doesn’t have one. Least Favorite Words: Curse words Least Favorite Quotations:  “I’ll rid the world of each one of you,” he whispered. “Every single one…” ― Zoe Cruz, Beastia Languages: English, fairly good with Mandarin, Greek, Enochian/Realmain, learning Japanese, Yiddish. Accent: She has a heavy Southern accent when she speaks quickly, which is why she���s trained herself to speak slowly and hide her accent. Voice: Low and quiet Speech Impediments: Forgets words easily and will use gibberish as a replacement. Greetings and Farewells:  “Give me you.” -When it’s a close friend she hasn’t seen for a while. “Ellie Aelious, rank ruler, part time healer.” -Military greeting “May your path be illuminated and never darken.” -Formal farewell “I really hope this isn’t a real goodbye, ya know?” -leaving a dimension, possibly for good. State of Mind: “I’m just really tired right now. I can’t really rest, but it’d be really nice if I could.” Compliment: “Wow, you’re really pretty/beautiful!” “You look like you could take me in a fight, to be honest.” “You’re tall. I like that.” Insult: “I hope you have the life you deserve.” “God loves you, even though you make it a might difficult.” “You’re an X.” (often randomly insults people with a noun they’ve just used.) Expletive: “Oh fiddle sticks.” “Gumdrops and holograms!” “God bless America...” “What in the nine realms!” “I’m sure -person- is off somewhere, disappointing the Lord with their actions.” Laughter: She will start with a sputter, and then go into a deep laugh, sometimes even snorting, which makes her laugh even harder. Tag Line: “This is fine. I accept this.” Signature Quote: “I have to do this. I need to do this. I can’t worry about either of our wants, desires, because this is so important. My entire life is leading up to that moment, and I’m not throwing it away because we love each other. If I do, then what was all this suffering for?”

Role: Her role as a ruler means that she is responsible for tens of billions of lives, as well as protecting humans from the evils of the realm of darkness. It is a heavy burden, but if one is to suffer it, why not it be her? Fulfillment: She devotes everything to her position, and has found favor in the eyes of the Lord. She has been blessed that no creature may sin against her flesh, so long as she is imbued with His power. Significance: Because she practices self sacrifice, in her words Armageddon, she will play a crucial role that will determine the outcome of the battle. Aside from that, she has inspired many of her counterparts to go on. Her determination to live and overcome has proved invaluable. Alignment: Lawful Good “The needs of my Lord, outweigh the desires of myself.” -Ellie Comparison: The wind. Ever changing, gentle, but destructive. Symbol: Handprint Song: Under Denver by Asking Alexandria Vice: Carnal desires and blood lust. Virtue: Ellie has taken the vow of Sacred Virgin. This means she will forgo her sexual desires, romances, and pleasure so she may enter into the dark kingdom unseen

Humility and compassion are often associated with her as well. She doesn’t feel she has a very important role, and takes pity on the suffering. Defining Moment: When she crawled her way out of hell, just to bring her mother’s dead body back for burial.

[peaceindevildom]

General:

I’m AU, OC, crossover and multi-verse friendly and I’m open to many plot ideas. I’m happy if you DM me with any idea you have. I am Selective but we don’t have to be mutuals to interact. However, what I do look for in blogs is if the mun is 18+ as there won’t be smut on here but there will be other adult related topics gore, violence, murders etc. Also you should have a rules page and there will have to be some way our muses can interact. Nothing against if you don’t though! It’s just a preference.

Disclaimer: For any/all icons used, I am not the creator of said art. They come from the actual game/show/movie source or fanmade art for said content. I have no artistic abilities and so nothing comes from me aside from the icon design.

Rules:

NSFW - While I am of age, 21+, I won’t be going into any smut related topics on the blog as it makes me feel uncomfortable. I will however go into triggering content from time to time which I will be sure to tag where I can. If I miss one, let me know!

No godmodding - this should go without saying but I’m putting it here anyway just in case. Doing this and making my character do things on your accord takes all the fun out of it! So please, don’t do this!

Give me time to reply - I try to reply as soon as I can. But if I don’t reply in a few days then I most likely need a break. If I reply to others and not you, then it means either I need a break from that thread or I haven’t got ideas for the time being. But I will always get around to it. Give me a week and then you can ping me a notification to drop me a reminder. It might usually take to a month or longer at times due to my motivation but I will never drop anything without warning. If you continue to pester me for replies, I will softblock you.

IMs - never be afraid to hit me with a plot thread or just to talk OOC. I’m always for it, I’ll try to get to you as soon as but I may not always available so keep that in mind.

Reblogging - Please don't reblog things from me unless you're a mutual. If you're involved with a thread you can reblog that thread and you can reblog ask memes from me if we're mutuals. I don't expect reblog karma but I would appreciate if you didn't constantly reblog memes from me without sending something in. No pressure if you didn't want to of course.

Dropping threads - It’s fine if you want to. I get it if you do but PLEASE tell me. I’m fine if you want to drop something, I get it but I’m a very nervous bean when it comes to asking about threads and will wait months before poking you, so please tell me if you dropped it or not or I will be nervous to approach you for that thread when we can go and do other things and it can take it off my mind.

Crossovers - Adding this to reassure people that I LOVE crossovers. If I feel comfortable with the fandom you’re in, I’m all for doing a crossover if I can find a way how to do it!

Spoilers - This blog will contain spoilers due to the use of canon characters and use of lore inside the media for their development. Some characters may be canon divergent based on the knowledge I know of right now

Drama - I’m not getting involved in any drama, this blog is hate free and I won’t be made to pick a side. I want to keep this a safe space not only for myself but for others as well. This is a place I want to spread positivity and have fun with others, so please keep in mind that I don’t want to be involved in it.

OCs:

I am OC friendly but I do like to see a bio of your character before roleplaying with them. This is so I can see how they are and how I can work around this. It helps me figure out how I can integrate my muse into the situation but also determine if your muse is fit to roleplay with mine. As some things can clash too much. In a bio, I am not picky about what is in it as long as it has their personality and their backstory in detail.

Triggers:

My two main squicks are:

Needles - descriptions, photos, videos etc.

Bugs - any insect or bug in pictures, videos or very detailed descriptions

There may also be triggering things on my blog. I will do my best to tag them or put it under a ‘read more’ if I feel it could be badly triggering. If I forget to add a trigger in a tag, please let me know! This is so I would know not to repeat the mistake again since I want this to be fun for everyone.

About Mun:

Heyo, I’m Gally, I go by they/them pronouns. I am an awkward silly bean who loves to roleplay, write and hurt my characters. I love talking to new people and I love reading what other people write. Don’t be afraid to approach me because I am a very nice and welcoming person!

[ineverhadmyinternetphase]

Running Into You - No. 6

Installment number 6 in my series of AU oneshots about Dan meeting his favourite youtuber AmazingPhil for the first time.

AO3 link

Genre: Fluff, with a sort of 2009-ish feel (but it’s still AU)

Warnings: A bit of swearing and some mentions of low self-esteem but literally it’s just fluff

Prompt: Missent Text

Summary: Dan’s on his gap year, so naturally he’s spending most of his time lounging around on the internet, watching his favourite youtubers and scrolling through tumblr. When he gets an accidental text from an unknown number, he doesn’t think much of it, until a series of events start to convince him the sender might just be someone he idolises: AmazingPhil.

A/N: This draft is like 2 years old, but @agingphangirl convinced me to post this while we’re waiting for pinof. It’s epistolary form, so I hope it isn’t too confusing. Hope you like it ^_^

Phil’s texts are italics, Dan’s texts are in quotation marks

…

6. Missent Text

Where r u?

Sorry what?

Where r u I’ve been here 10 mins

…Am I supposed to be somewhere?

You said on dm you’d be here at 6, I’m getting cold ^_^

Um I’m sorry mate but you must have the wrong number

Oh crap!! Sorry!!

.Lmao it’s ok. Just checked my dms and nothing interesting enough to make me be outside in this weather sorry

Tell me about it x_x I’m freezing. But if you’re not peej then I’ll be here a while

Unfortunately for you I go by Dan

Oh. Well, hello Dan. Sorry for bothering you with my freezing antics

Nvm it’s cool

It’s more than COOL, it’s COLD enough for ICICLES

I’m sure ur exaggerating

No my nose is an actual block of ice

Where even are you? Unless you’re in the Arctic you might want to get that seen to

--

Sorry! Peej showed up eventually (the friend I thought you were). Turns out he gave me the wrong number. All sorted now. I promise not to bother you again

Honestly it’s fine. I probably need more human contact so you did me a favour

Haha, glad to be of service ^_^ also I was in Manchester. It’s so cold it snowed. My icicle nose is allowed

Manchester? That’s like waaaaay in the north

Not that far but cold enough for icicle noses :P

Yes yes ok you’re allowed an icicle nose

Haha thanks :P so where are you, if not in the north?

Reading

Ohhhh so a proper southerner

I guess you could say that

Well hello Dan the proper southerner

God no that makes me sound like a queens guard or something

Do you queens guard people have time to text?

We’re too busy dealing with the corgis and all that shit

I knew it 0.o

XD but really I’m sitting in bed on the internet lol

Actually same

Haha really?

Yep. Which sites you on?

Just the usual. Tumblr, YouTube. My favourite youtuber has a new video due out tonight

Nice ^_^

What sites are you on?

Currently uploading a video to my YouTube channel

You have a channel?!

Haha yeah ^_^

Which one? Would I know it?

I don’t know. It isn’t a huge deal but it’s fun

Yeah I mean I admire that. I’d love to have a channel

Why don’t you?

Idk too scared I guess

Awr ^_^ nothing to be scared about honest, it’s just you and a camera

And the whole of the internet xD

Haha I try not to think about that part 0.o thousands of people watching me

Thousands? Wow so you must be a pretty big channel

Heh I guess, maybe ^_^ so who are your favourite youtubers?

Oh man I have loads XD Smosh, community channel, AmazingPhil (the one I’m waiting for the new video), charlieissocoollike

That’s a good mix ^_^ my new video is 99% uploaded and stuck there x_x

Seriously? Your connection needs to sort its shit out

Haha yeah it really does. I think it’s being attacked by bees

Bees?

Or wasps

Seriously?

Tiny horned beetles?

Do they even exist?

Idk but if they do they’re attacking my wifi

I’ll send the insect spray

Haha thanks XD it must have worked as my video is finally uploaded!

—

…Great video. Especially the lion wedding, that was sweet

Haha thanks! Glad you liked it, took ages to get the dress on lioness. Plus my mum nearly walked in on me 0.o

Holy fuck you actually are AmazingPhil aren’t you

Um, well, yes.

Sorry.

AmazingPhil, FantasticPhil, Epic Youtuber

or just Phil if you prefer

I probably should have told you

Jesus shitting fuck I’m sorry for bothering you

Don’t be daft! I accidentally texted you first ^_^

Yeah but I bet you didn’t expect to end up with a weird fanboy. Um. Not that I’m a stalker I promise

Haha it’s ok Dan honestly

I’m not going to spread your number around or anything holy shit like I’m so sorry

Honestly, please don’t worry, it’s been nice talking to you ^_^ I appreciate you not spreading my number around though. I got lucky with you, don’t want to risk a creepy stalker finding me 0.o

Lmao I promise xD how do you know for sure I’m not a creepy stalker though

0.o I’ll set the bees against you

I’ll start running now

Haha

—

So out of curiosity how long have you been watching my videos for?

Oh um a couple of years now

Really? That’s awesome!

Yeah. You actually replied to one of my comments once ^_^ made my day

Aw haha that’s great, which video?

The toxic one

Oh my god >.<

Haha it’s a good video :P

I should remove it from the internet immediately

Don’t you dare! Your fans would be sad

X_x well this isn’t very fair if you know about me but I don’t know you at all

Well you know my name’s Dan

And you’re from Reading. Tell me more? ^_^

unless you don’t want to, that’s fine, I’m just curious

Haha no it’s alright. Um. I’m Dan. I just finished my A levels and now I’m taking a gap year

Oh cool ^_^ going to uni after that?

Probably. Thinking of law

Wow, that’s impressive

Haha we’ll see ^_^

Just checking but how old are you? I don’t want to be a creep 0.o

Lmao dw I’m 18 everything is legal

Phew XD Anything else I should know?

Well I’m currently undefeated at mario kart

What seriously? You’ve never lost?

Nope and I don’t plan to start :P

I’d beat you

I really wish we could test that theory

Haha that would be fun :P we could always test it over Skype sometime?

That’s probably really weird sorry

I promise I’m not a creeper

It’s ok, and yeah, I’d love to Skype sometime

Yeah? Yay! :D

Lmao you’re probably going to want to run a mile when you see me though

I doubt that very much unless you have like five eyes or something

Five eyes? Wtf XD

Idk you could be a giant spider

[insert pic] See? Not a giant spider :P

Oh wow yeah not a giant spider. I spy a cute guy :P

Shut up >.<

Nice hair

Lol I swear I had it like this before I started watching you

[insert pic] And here I thought I’d started a trend

Crap you actually are Phil >.< yeah your hair is cool enough to be a trendsetter tbh

Haha thanks XD and yeah I am Phil. Is that a problem?

Are you kidding me? Nope except I turn even more awkward than normal around people I admire

Aw well awkward people are the best. And at least there aren’t videos of you half-naked on the internet

You make a good point

—

Hey so I’m uploading a new video tonight but I can’t decide if it’s actually any good. Check it out for me?

Omfg are you seriously saying I get a sneak preview on an AmazingPhil video

Yes please ^_^ I might have overweirded. Need a second opinion

Omfg

just like

give me a moment

wtf

fucking hell

wow ok

I’m calm now

yes I would love to check your video for you

Haha thanks. It’s up as unlisted, [insert link] please be honest with me if it’s terrible

Wow man that’s awesome! I love how interactive it is!

Omfg seriously how are you this creative like you shouldn’t be allowed

Haha really? Wow thanks, I’m not sure about the shot angle though and the lighting is kinda terrible

Yeah ngl the lighting is bad but you can’t control the sun

You never know! I could be a weatherman. But you seriously think I should upload it?

[insert pic with thumbs up] totally I love it

Aw I forgot how hot you are. It’s going up tonight then

CUTE I MEANT CUTE

Gah I’m sorry

Haha it’s fine, getting called hot is never bad in my book ;)

Would you believe it was autocorrect?

Haha if you want :P sounds pretty unlikely though

I’m hiding in a pillow and never coming out

No! Then your subscribers will hate me for taking you away

[insert pic in a pillow] do you like my new home

XD don’t hide from me seriously like you have a video to upload

[insert pic] ok true it’s on 68%

Damn YouTube upload times

Tell me about it. Have you ever uploaded a video then?

Lmao there’s one of me being a boss at DDR

Yeah? Can I check it out?

>.< Um sure, I’m a lame nerd though

Dan, have you even met me?

Haha ok true :P [insert link] just don’t say I didn’t warn you

No one’s feet should be allowed to move that fast. You’re so good, I fall over whenever I try and play

Haha I could teach you

Please be my DDR master Dan-sensei

Depends what you give me :P

I’ve got Pokemon cards

I’m sold

—

[insert pikachu with a lion pic] this was too cute not to show you

Awwww! Rawr ^_^ where is that?

Shop called forbidden planet. I’m in London on work experience and went there on my break

0.o London? You’re braver than me, capital cities scare me

Aw poor Phil haha

[insert pic] do I look ready for work?

Very serious

Srs bsns

[insert scared face pic] I’ll take YouTube any day

Haha. Me too tbh. Law offices are big and dull

Why do you want to do it then?

Idk. Job security? Having a point in life?

Fair enough :P

You did English didn’t you? Sorry I swear I’m not a stalker

Haha it’s fine ^_^ and yeah, English language and linguistics. Then a masters in post-production

Wow that’s so cool. So you’re in your 20s?

22 ^_^ My masters is the only reason I know how to edit videos :P

I wish I could

Well I can always teach you

Seriously?!

Yeah of course, I reckon you’d be great at making videos

Really? Lmao I’m so awkward tho

That can work in your favour, trust me :P

Haha well if you say so, YouTube senpai

Listen well Dan-kun and you too will learn the ways of the YouTube

Haha you’re so strange

You’re just jealous

[insert pic] so much

Stop taking pics at work

But it’s so boring. At least send me one back, save me from the dullness

[insert pic] on my way to a meetup so might be a bit slow

Oh cool meetup like YouTube meetup?

I guess that must be fun

I’d love to go to one but too scared and awkward lol

Save me work is literally killing me

I can’t actually keep working here

ugh why did I ever think law was a good idea I’m going to die at uni

Whoops sorry I seem to have spammed your phone

—

Hey Dan, sorry! I forgot to bring my charger to the meetup so my phone has only just come back to me. I mourned it’s passing *plays lion king music*

Oh that’s ok

I really am sorry that I couldn’t distract you from your work

Lmao no worries

Don’t know if it’ll make it any better but I am working on a new video and lion says he thinks law is a very admirable career option

Tell lion thanks and I’d be even more grateful if he did my degree for me

He says sign him up where are you going to uni anyway?

Well I’m not there yet. I have to start applying soon

Looked around any?

Errrr I’ll get on that

Isn’t the deadline soon?

Yeah but I’m an epic procrastinator

Lion is very disappointed

Lion can suck my dick

Dan!

Lmao I was kidding

XD

besides you’re 18 you have loads of time to sort stuff out

Yeah but I have literally no idea what I’m doing

No one does. That’s why you go to uni - to figure it out

You seemed to have it all together

Haha thanks, but honestly, I was just making stupid videos in my bedroom

does that sound wrong?

Lmao a little yeah

Oops

Dw lol if you’re a sexual predator you’re a bit far away to do any real damage

True

:( I’d rather you were nearer tbh

Even if I’m a sexual predator?

Lol I don’t really think you are though

Well I’m not

And me too, Dan

—

[insert pic] last day at the office today I literally couldn’t be happier

Lol I can see from your face

[insert pic] is it that obvious

Rawr

I’ll send lioness to aid you

Lioness not lion?

She’s much fiercer

Lmao probs true either way I’ll take help

At least soon you’ll be free

Yeah I literally can’t wait

Gonna do something to celebrate? ^_^

Lol all my friends are at uni

[insert pic] well Lion and I are proud of you

Aw thanks ^_^ I still forget you’re AmazingPhil sometimes

I’m deeply offended

no but really I’m just Phil and you’re really cool

sorry

Na it’s fine I just had to work

Oops XD

I’m hiding out in the toilets now so we’re fine lmao

and I have no issues with you being Phil

I mean it could be worse at least you aren’t a creepy stalker

I hope not. Also uploading another video tonight, I think you’ll like it

!!! Best celebration ever

^_^

—

So I may have been stalking you on Twitter and it seems your birthday is soon?

0.o stalker. And yeah it is ^_^

wait you follow me? What’s your Twitter handle?

Um. Yes I follow you. And this is going to sound very awkward and stuff but I kind of want to send you a birthday present

Omg Dan you don’t have to do that

Well I’d kinda like to so :P should I use your PO box?

Nah that takes ages to check, I’ll give you my actual address

I promise not to hunt you down

Tbh if it’s you I wouldn’t even mind

Omg

[insert pic with address] there you go

Lol is that a bank statement?

Yeah I’m so profesh

Phil! I could literally rob you

Well I trust that you won’t :P

Lmao you’d better

What’s your Twitter handle btw? You never said

Uh its danisnotonfire.

But please don’t judge me oh god I’m such a nerd

Dan honestly you’re the coolest person I know

sorry was that a bit much?

No! I’m just struggling to respond to the best youtuber out there calling me cool

Not just cool, the coolest :P wow you’ve commented on my tweets quite a bit

>.<

Sorry I never noticed you properly

You accidentally texted me I think that wins

Haha true

—

Happy birthday!

Thanks! ^_^ I have family stuff but I’ll talk to you as soon as I’m done

Sure sure have a great day!

— DAN OMG

YOUR PRESENTS

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SHOULDN’T

[insert excited pic cuddling the presents] you’re amazing

you’re so amazing

I can’t believe you

honestly you’re too amazing

how did I ever meet someone this nice and funny and cool and kind and cute and sweet

honestly

and I know you must be sleeping it’s like 2am but I have to tell you

OMG you’re too adorable

who let you be like this and you’re too far away :(

I wish you could be here so I could give you a thank-you hug

Wow I’m glad you liked them :P I’ll take a thank-you hug

What are you doing still up?

Can’t sleep how was the party?

GR8 M8! My parents embarrassed me in front of everyone

Oh no what did they do?

Got the baby photos out >.<

Lmao I’d love to see that

I was ginger

OMG for real?!

Yes >.< *hides forever*

That’s adorable

You’re adorable

Your mum’s adorable

Actually shut up

:P aren’t you too old for immature arguments now

Go to sleep

Lmao I’m glad it was good though

Thanks yeah it was rly good

Looking through the photos now

Any good ones?

Mostly drunk XD [insert pic]

Who’s that guy?

My cousin

Lmao ok I was about to say hands off

XD he was really drunk

You look a bit worse for the wear too

I may be slightly intoxicated

Haha tut tut Lester

Shut up Dan :P what is your surname?

Howell

Howell? Like a wolf?

Lmao if you like

Awooooooo

You’re so strange XD

AwoloooooOooooOOOOO

it suits you though

you’re very brown

XD aren’t wolves grey?

Well yeah

but like

you have their wildness

Lmao I’m taking that as a compliment

You should

you’re hot as hell

but so young and sticky out

like a baby deer

A wolf and a baby deer?

And eyes like an owl

You and your animal metaphors

None of those are quite right though

Like your eyes are too pretty they’re more like the night sky

but coloured with earth

You’re drunk

I mean it though

…I know

I wish I had eyes like yours

No! Yours are perfect

They’re big and weird

They’re deep and beautiful and I could swim in them all day

and I’m not drunk

I should be sleeping

You’re sleep-drunk :P which is actually a thing you know

Right I’m going to sleep

Noooooooo

We’ll talk about this when we’re both more sane

But I don’t want you to go

it’s quiet and sad when you aren’t around

and I’m cold here now

and it’s my birthday

Dan?

Dan?

Happy birthday you idiot. Now go to sleep

night Dan <333

—

I’m so sorry about last night I had too much to drink

Haha it’s ok it was your birthday

Yeah but still

I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable

You didn’t. There’s nothing to worry about

Do we need to talk about this?

Um. Do you want to?

Kind of

But kind of not

I don’t want to make you feel awkward

I’m always awkward

Dan, for real. You know what I mean.

Yeah I think I do

Do we need to talk about it?

I think we’re both aware it’s there. Let’s just see where it goes?

Yeah ok sounds good. And no awkwardness?

None at all, I promise <3

Good <3

—

Hey Dan, are you still up for Skype at some point?

Yeah, sure ^_^ tonight?

Yeah! I’ll just finish up editing

Ooh, what’s it like?

Haha spoilers :P what’s your Skype name?

Danisnotonfire same as Twitter

Original :P

added you

‘AmazingPhil has added you to his contacts’ you’re just as original I see

Shut up and answer the call

—

So my eyes are even bluer on skype? :P

Haha shuddup

They’re even more blue in person

Are they even blue lmao they’re like 3 different colours

[insert pic] mostly blue

Greeny yellow blue

Very poetic

Shuddup :P

sorry I’ll stop

Please don’t

Lol fishing for compliments?

Well if they’re being offered

You’re impossible

That isn’t a compliment

You’re ridiculously strange?

I’ll take that

Haha of course you would :P

So what are you up to?

Actually answering a few texts for once, you?

Throwing around some video ideas but I’m bored now. Who’re you texting?

Some school friends who are at uni

Nice ^_^

Well. Sort of. It’s weird

Tell me about it?

It’s just they all have these lives that are moving forwards and away from home and leaving me behind

and I just

My ex is dating someone else and I’m in exactly the same place as I was when she broke up with me

And I’m not content but I don’t really want to go anywhere or do anything and I just don’t know what on earth I’m going to do with my life

Were you happy with them before school ended?

Idk. I thought so at the time. But I don’t think I’ve ever really been happy, not yet

It’s ok. You don’t have to know right now. And one day you’ll leave all of them behind too and move on to something better

I think I already am. Having you around is better than them

Sorry

Haha don’t apologise for being so sweet ^_^

Also I’m single now. And bi. Just to avoid confusion

I’m bi too. Probably

Probably?

Not a massive fan of labels if I’m honest

If I feel something for someone then that’s all that matters

Might be demi, might be bi, might be somewhere inbetween.

And I don’t want you to worry about your future, ok? Everything is going to fall into place

<3

And if it doesn’t I’ll be around to distract you with more lame animal comparisons

Haha I actually love you

Me too <3

—

Get on Skype!

Ok it’s late you’re probably sleeping

it’s just

ugh I don’t know who else to talk to so I’m going to rant at your phone like a completely normal person

but mum yelled at me for not doing my uni application yet

but I just don’t know what to do I mean law yes but how do I decide where?

This is huge

and I don’t want to rush into it

but she thinks I’m going to miss the deadline though there’re months left

and I just

ugh

now she isn’t talking to me

-

Dan I’m sorry I was sleeping. Skype now?

I really don’t mind you spamming my phone, please do, always, I’d rather you had somewhere to talk about this stuff

And you know, Manchester uni is good. I could show you around

—

I spoke to mum about going to look around the uni.

She asked where I would stay.

I kind of told her I have friends at uni there.

It’s a half truth right?

Awesome ^_^ Um do you think she’d like to know the truth?

Probably.

Idk.

She might freak out and be worried

Because you’re meeting a random man you’ve never met before?

Lmao when you put it like that

Are you honestly ok with this? It’s fine if you’re not

No no I’m so ok. I want to meet you. Like properly

I want that too. So much

So it’s going to happen. I’m buying train tickets

Awesome ^_^ but your mum?

Do you think I should tell her?

I think she’d be happier knowing where you are

Yeah. Yeah I know. I’ll talk to her

Give her my phone number too. And my address

Lmao you after more stalkers?

Dan I’m serious I want you to be safe

You spoon

yeah I’ll tell her everything. She might not be best pleased though

Dw if she locks you up I’ll come rescue you

<3

<3

—

I told her

!!! And?

She said yes

OMG!!!!! I’m out atm but Skype as soon as I get back?

Yes please :P

[insert happy pic]

[insert happy pic]

—

Hey Dan you should make a YouTube channel before you visit me

?? Really?

Yeah I mean you always say you want to. And we could do a collab ^_^

For serious?!

Yeah! I mean, if you want to

I’ve been wanting to do a Q and A for a while and it would be fun I think

Omfg

Is that a yes?

Hell yes it’s a yes

Um only problem is

How do I even make a video?

However you want ^_^ you’ve told me loads of good ideas

But they’re so lame lmao

They’re really not. I promise.

Why not start with an introduction? Then you can go on to your actual content

Omg but like do you really think I could?

Honestly! Yes.

Ok

Ok

My mum’s going out in a minute so I’ll have the house to myself. I could film

That’s brilliant! I’m about to head out with mum but film whilst I’m gone and we can Skype later yeah?

Ok wow

omg

ok

Phil this isn’t working I sound so stupid

fucking hell I can’t do this

You can! Act like you’re on Skype to me

Can we Skype?

Still visiting my brother sorry :( tonight we will

Ok. I’ll keep trying

You can do it! Pretend the camera is me. Or any friend. It’ll help

Ok <3

<3

—

Holy fuck Phil I have views.

And subscribers! So many subscribers!

Told you!!

This is because you tweeted it

No, it’s because you’re really bloody talented

>.< I can’t believe I did that

You did and you’re awesome and I’m so proud of you!

Can’t wait to collab :D

Me neither, if you still want to I mean

Silly, of course I want to. Best thing about this month

<3

<3

—

Um so a bit of a change of plan

??? Do I need to cancel the train tickets?

No no! Just

Turns out my parents aren’t going to be here the weekend you’re visiting.

Is that a problem?

Lmao no why would it be

are you planning to ravish me or something

>.< I don’t think I’ve ever ravished anything in my life

Well you can start with me ;)

Dan!

Seriously though. Is it ok?

Yeah. Honestly it’s great.

Are you sure?

Are you?

Yeah I mean honestly it’ll be nicer to see you without having to get around them

I just don’t want to weird you out

You won’t

I hope not

Phil honestly I can’t wait

:D me neither

where are you btw? Skype isn’t picking up

Oh yeah, my internet is down, sorry

:O no wifi?!

No wifi. I’m not sure how I’m going to survive

I’ll spam you with texts

Please!

Actually I have something better

[incoming call: AmazingPhil]

—

I’m at the train station and it’s super early I’m not even sure you’re worth it

Sorry! I’ll make it up to you with hot coffee and hugs ^_^

Ok yeah you are worth it

Aw :D

On the train next to an old man who’s threatening to fall asleep on my shoulder

x_X tell him to keep his hands off

Lmao yeah I’m sure you’d really sort him out

I could be fierce

You’re literally a muffin with an emo fringe

I’ll fill your bag with bees

I’ll tame them into my own personal army

Then you’ll be our evil overlord

Mwahahaha

Can I be on your side when you take over the world?

Your lion powers could come in useful so yeah I guess so

Awesome we can run the world together

Yes :P

ugh the train is running late

:( by how much?

Twenty minutes atm

I’ll still get to the station at ten to

Well it might be running quite late by the time we get that far north

I don’t want to miss you. I’ll be there <3

I can’t wait

Me neither

Stuck in Stoke now. Literally the weirdest station I’ve ever seen

Haha really?

Yeah. And it’s packed. I had no idea this many people travelled this early on a Saturday, I didn’t even know this time exists

It doesn’t and you’re travelling in some other dimension right now

Shut up :P

Just waved my parents off. I’ll head out to the station soon

I’m so nervous

Me too <3

Promise you won’t run a mile?

Promise. I’ll see you soon Dan

See you soon

—        

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Its Tough To Be A God

So, we were traveling through a swamp one time, an Elf Ranger, Half-Elf Druid, Half-Elf Bard, and Draconic-blooded Human Bard, and we all get ambushed by these giant insects and a talking, barnacle infested crocodile. He’s all like, “You DARE trapse about in my territory?? I. am. a. GOD! And I SHALL EAT YOU ALL”

An epic battle ensues, ending with the Druid disemboweling the croc to rescue this Murloc they’d witnessed get eaten. (Its not actually a Murloc, but it looks like one, and I can’t think of anything else) That Murloc stumbles out and declares: “You have killed our god, Floopdoogal! All hail new Floopdoogal!” And a whole bunch of others come pouring out of the woods, hailing the Druid.

The Druid, disturbed, is like, “How do we get rid of these guys?”

The Elfy Bard: “I could pretend to stab you??”

Druid: “Yeah, but then you’d be cursed.”

Ranger: “But they’re so useful?? We could use them as bait.”

Draconic Bard:  "Or meat shields!“

Druid:  Sigh "Let’s see if we can get this lifted somewhere.”

________________________________________

Cut to sometime later. The Murlocs are back, of course, and someone happens to notice barnacles growing out of the Druid’s skin.

Druid: “No, no, no, no, no. Can someone just kill me? Literally, kill me, I don’t even care right now.”

The DM is obviously having way too much fun with this.

________________________________________

Cut to us exploring this sunken fort. After someone opened a chest, the DM rolled the dice and smiled cruelly. In the middle of the Druid speaking, her eyes start bulging out of her head and pop out on stalks, granting a bonus to perception checks even as the others look on in horror.

The Druid just sighed, reached for her scabbard, and started drawing her scimitar, turning the blade to her neck while the Elfy Bard tugged her arm down.

________________________________________

The curse did get lifted, eventually, and there was much rejoicing.

Druid OOC: I’m not a god anymore??? FUCK YEAH

[zippdementia]

Part 28 Alignment May Vary: The Rocks Speak

Welcome to post 28 of our long running adventure! We started back on the Moonsea coast with three prison ship survivors who washed up into adventure. Since then, there have been many twists and turns and only one of the original party is still alive, Karina the Tiefling Spy. Her path has taken her with two others towards the legendary Tomb of Haggemoth, where she hopes to find riches and (more importantly) answers to questions that have plagued her since she was betrayed in the war. Meanwhile, her companions have their own quests: Tyrion the Halfling Bard needs to record a tale to impress his college directors and secure his place in the famed halls of song, and Abenthy seeks the ultimate justice in the name of his father, a Fallen Angel. This post marks the beginning of the last dungeon of the campaign and will walk with the players through each room, detailing what they discover and what adjustments I have made to the dungeon. I hope players of D&D find it entertaining and dungeon masters find it helpful in running their own dungeons!

Haggemoth is a conversion from 3.5 and I’ve talked about some of my methods for conversions to 5th edition in the past. Monster conversion, in particular, is more of an art than a science, with the end goal not being perfection so much as it is to capture the correct feel for a scene or battle. One hard and fast rule to keep in mind, though, is the rule of DC. You can pretty nicely get an appropriate DC from 3.5 to 5 by taking the original DC, subtracting ten, cutting the number in half (rounded up) and then adding ten. For example, if the DC for avoiding a trap from 3.5 is Dex Save DC 19, then the conversion is

19 - 10 = 9

9/2 = 4.5 (round up to 5)

5 + 10 = 15

New Dex Save DC = 15

I use this method for every DC conversion so I want to throw it out there immediately so that it is assumed throughout the remainder of the adventure.

Anyway, the bridge across the chasm is destroyed, Tyrion is unconscious, and Karina and Abenthy are badly hurt from their battles with the Bugbears. Verrick is gone, the three soldiers are dispirited, and everyone is hungry. After eating and then collapsing, exhausted, into a long rest, the party awakens the next morning to find themselves staring at a massive door in the cliff face:

Built into the side of the mountain is an immense portico that features a pair of gigantic stone doors, each one twenty feet high and ten feet across. There is a single massive, steel-reinforced stone bar across the door, but a great deal of stone and wood debris has been piled up against the door as well.

It doesn’t take long to clear the debris, I assume this was placed there by the designer in case the players try to run past the Bugbears without stealth or fighting them: then the Bugbears can charge them, or lob arrows at them from across the bridge while the players try to clear the debris. A nasty end for anyone who thought to rush past the fight!

As it is, the players clear the door and enter the first hall. It is moldly inside, and damp and cold, with a smell like age and decay. Every so often earth tremors rock the place and bits of rock and dust fall from the ceiling:

Beyond the main doors is a large vestibule with a vaulted ceiling. The walls look like they once bore runic carvings, but these have all been defaced. Plants from the hillside have infiltrated the tomb here, and bits of root and moss hang from cracks everywhere. This chamber is filled with refuse of all kinds: plant matter, the carcasses of small animals and insects, and the desiccated corpses of several species of humanoid. As light spills into the chamber, the floor comes alive with movement.

Attacking the players are some giant centipedes. This is the first adjustment I have to make. Insect creatures are treated very differently in fifth edition than they were in third. In third, poison was a really big deal, a threat to even high level parties. It’s still not great in Fifth edition, but saving throws are all around easier and because fifth edition has done away with the touch attack (which ignores armor) creatures like this have a much harder time landing hits. So even though I can (and do) describe gross bugs falling over Karinna from the ceiling, I can’t really simulate them being “on her” as I could in Pathfinder, and as the module intends.

I compensate by bringing back touch AC for this fight, letting the centipedes crawl inside armor and up leather jerkins to get their attacks. It’s not a perfect solution, but it keeps the proper difficulty for the fight, letting the centipedes land some hits while still bring pretty tame. In the future, I’ll probably take insect fights and use swarm statistics for them, as this seems to be the way that Fifth Edition “buffs” its insects at higher levels. That said, the only rule I miss from Pathfinder is the touch AC—it just makes so much sense in certain circumstances and creates a nice difficulty balance for parties that have a mixture of speedy rogues and tankish paladins. I don’t think it necessarily needs to come back as a hard rule applied to every combat, but it would be cool to see some monsters in future DnD 5 supplements gain abilities which ignore armor and rely on pure dodging by targeting AC + Dex directly.

Mine! Mine! Mine!

Tomb of Haggemoth is my favorite kind of dungeon, in that nearly every room in it (and most of the monsters) has a reason to be there. I love dungeons that are more natural settings, rather than just endless turns and twists of caverns. My earliest experiences with Dungeons and Dragons was when my father bought Undermountain for me when I was four. I didn’t play the game, but I read through each description of every room. They were like short stories, and one of the joys for me as a player to this day is when I come to a room in a dungeon and can ultimately puzzle out the history of what this used to be and how it came to be what it is now.

There is a really interesting logic to Haggemoth that results in the first half of the dungeon being harder than the second half, but as my players aren’t there yet, I’ll talk more about that later. For now, they come to the next hallway, after cleaning bug gunk off their boots:

This hallway is similar to the vestibule. All kinds of miscellaneous debris is scattered over the floor. The doors to the south and east have been battered and smashed beyond hope of repair, but the door to the north seems to be somewhat solid. The corridor narrows to the west, proceeding deeper into the mountainside.

There are a few dead ends here. West is the actual path forward. To the north is storage, but a vicious mold has overtaken it, turning everything to poisonous rot. To the south, a Xorn has recently burrowed into the area. Originally from the Elemental plane of Earth, he covets the gold and gems in the mountainside and has stayed, slowly gathering some precious rubies and diamonds. If he ever spots Karinna, he’ll lust immediately after her “Eye of Callax,” as it is an extremely large, extremely rare, and extremely beautiful gemstone. He also knows, intrinsicially, some of the secrets of this place, and can be compelled or bargained into sharing them if treated with proper respect and offered rewards. He knows one of the biggest secrets that my players still don’t know...

My group takes the North route and almost immediately is overcome by the mold, taking massive damage as the spores tear at their lungs. Fire kills the stuff, and one of them uses a torch to light up enough of the mold to render it harmless, but the damage is done. They decide to pull back and take a rest before adventuring further. And during the night, the Xorn attacks, snatching one of the soldiers (Biggs) and pulling him back inside the tomb. The players awaken and give chase and a quick combat ensures.

Xorns are cool. Old school DnD monsters, they represent a nice bit of world building in that they come from the elemental plane of earth, thus suggesting the larger universe that the fantasy game situates itself in. They can be a tough kill in DnD 5 because of their burrow ability, in which they disappear into the earth around them, becoming completely immune to all attacks. In one round, therefore, they can disappear into the earth, appear right below someone, and get an attack off. If they wait a round and successfully make a hide check, they can get the attack off at advantage for surprise. And depending on how you want to play it from there, you can add all sorts of bonuses to their attack and/or defense because they are burrowed (DnD 5 is intentionally loose on how these things work, letting DMs adjust the rules to their own style and game). I like to add some defensive AC bonuses, but I also like to be fair about retreating: if they reburrow while they are right underneath someone, it counts as a movement and gives the players opportunity attacks. Picture all the tentacles disappearing into the ground while the players hack at them...

The players don’t seek to barter with the Xorn, but go at it headlong, getting off some very good strikes very quickly. Before long, they have defeated it, even with it burrowing and opening up right under Abenthy (that crazy high AC is helping him immensely here).

Sadly, Biggs has perished in the attack, leaving them with only two of their NPCs to carry on through the dungeon. Which brings me to another topic.

Character Cards

Our campaign has never been without allies and helpers. some may remember the half-orc barbarian woman that the group hired in Ottoman’s Dock, who lost her life to Rose of Ottoman’s Dock, or the bodyguard of the Butcher of Skagos, who perished in the Icy Wastes during a fight with Worg Riders. These early NPCs were stated out fully, like Player Characters and taken over by one of my players. I didn’t like this system, because it made a lot of extra work for us. I had to create the characters, which made it difficult to throw in improvised NPCs and companions at any given moment, and put an extra burden of roleplaying and stat tracking on my players that I felt left either the NPC or their own PC with a little less investment. At the same time, just having NPCs be “background extras” that fit into description but had no actual effect on gameplay, didn’t feel right either.

My solution was to create Character Cards. I talked about this back around the time the party was going through the Desert of Thud but since then I have refined the process. Character Cards now give a multitude of in-combat and out-of-combat options for players to use. The current cards look like this:

Xaviee, Human Fighter

Once per combat: do 1d6 slashing damage to any opponent.

Once per combat: roll 1d6. If the result is a 5 or 6, then +2 to all ally attacks and damage this round.

Reaction: Block an attack completely. Roll 1d6. If the result is 1-4, Xaviee is permanently dead.

BLAZE OF GLORY: Sacrifice Xaviee to add +4 to all ally attacks and Damage this round.

Samuel, Human Guard

Once per combat: do 1d6 slashing damage to any opponent

Once per combat: do 2d6 slashing damage to any opponent. Roll 1d6, if result is 1 or 2, Samuel dies, permanently.

Once per combat: do 3d6 slashing damage to any opponent. Roll 1d6, if result is 1-4, Samuel dies, permanently.

Reaction: Block an attack completely. Roll 1d6, if result is 1-4, Samuel is permanently dead.

You can see how Xaviee is a little more powerful, because his abilities carry less risk of dying when he uses them, representing his higher level. This is a quick and surprisingly clean way for me to represent a usable NPC/retainer with very few stats. We don’t worry about placement of the NPC on our maps, or try to simulate enemies targeting them in combat. If they die because of their roll, it’s assumed they were hit enough times by the enemy to perish. If there are certain situations where it just doesn’t make sense that they can be used, like the heroes are fighting underwater and Xaviee has been left on shore, then we take them out of use for the combat. Simple is best.

It also builds more of a connection I feel between them and the players, as these are decently powerful “items” that they do not want to lose. I am reminded of Final Fantasy Tactics, where most of your party never have a single word to say during the story, but yet you care about them simply because you use them in combat. Because they are a part of your gameplay they actually end up being more a part of your story than the actual story, as for the most part 70% of an RPG is combat and gameplay and only 30% is cutscenes and exposition. Possibly that number is even lower in Dungeons and Dragons, depending on your play style.

The character cards will continue to morph and change as we continue to play and I seek the correct balance between gameplay and function.

Halls of Bone

Progressing forward, after a brief mourning for the lost Biggs, the players come to a gigantic hall filled with bones:

This large, columned hall is replete with various carvings and relief sculptures depicting traditional Dwarven motifs: the forge, the anvil, the pick and axe, the tankard, and so forth. What was once a reflecting pool down the center of the hall now contains a thick layer of slime. At one end of the room is a 10’ tall statue of a clean-shaven dwarf, wearing a studded belt and a rune-encrusted crown with three black gems set in it. To either side, a balcony looks down on the central chamber. Phosphorescent mold on the walls and ceiling provides a dim, greenish light. What strikes you most, however, is that the floor is littered with bones – uncountable skeletons of man and beast lay scattered around the room, some still clutching to the tattered and rusted remains of armor and weapons.

“This is a trap,” Abenthy says, and the others quickly agree.

They aren’t wrong, though it is an unusual trap.

In the original 3.5 module, crossing a line within 30 feet of the statue activates the bones, which become 3d6+1 miscellaneous skeleton creatures and 1 large skeletal creature. This happens every time the line is crossed, up to a maximum of 50 skeletons and 5 large skeletons, all armed differently. These are stated out so that the little skeletons are weak hitters but very hard to kill (with damage reduction and very high AC) and the large skeletons are brutally heavy hitters and also pretty tough to kill. The design of the trap is that the players will be surrounded and overwhelmed by a bunch of regular undead who soften them up for the killing blow done by the big skeleton. When this horde emerges, some players will fall back to ranged position, while others will move up to tank and deal damage. Problem for them is, every time they cross that invisible line, whether retreating or advancing, the trap reactivates. Soon players will be terrifyingly outnumbered. Quick thinking players will realize that the statue is creating the effect and target that, but even then, the summoned skeletons don’t disappear, and players can be left in a whole heap of trouble.

Overal, the intended effect of the trapis to terrify players and set them up to be wary moving forward. They do have the option of running away deeper into the tomb, but the very next hallway is filled with spinning blades. If the players can roll high enough dexterity, they can pass the blades and effectively put a unpassable barrier between themselves and the skeletons, but it will be a tense moment, as failing the roll does grave damage and knocks them backwards, right into the waiting hands of the undead.

Translating this encounter into a 5th edition battle appropriate to six or seventh level characters is a challenge. Skeleton hordes don’t pose quite the same threat in 5th edition. In 3.5, a horde of this size could roll enough dice to grapple or trip even high level characters, setting them up for deadly coup-de-graces by the large skeletons, or weakening their AC enough to allow even the weaker skeletons to get hits off. Trip doesn’t exist in 5th edition, though, and while grapple can set up for a deadly “grapple, force player to prone” combo, it doesn’t give all the bonuses or options that exist in 3.5. I could emulate this by giving the skeletons bonuses to their grapple checks and some special abilties once they have the players grappled, simulating the “Night of the Living Dead” aspects of this encounter, but it feels like it will cause this room to devolve into a series of mindless rolls, the players rolling much less dice than me, but with bigger bonsues. That game quickly can become old, especially if they are facing fifty skeletons.

Instead, I try to figure out what frightens me. I think of the Silent Hill games and those twitchy nurses. Then I think about a room with dozens of them and I have my answer.

I design three skeletons for this encounter. The basics are below:

Twitch Skeletons

These skeletons are small in statue and their arms end in sharp points rather than hands. They gyrate as they move across the floor towards you, their jaws clicking open and closed in a silent protest of the horrors their afterlife has become.

The Twitch skeletons make up about 16 of the skeletons in the room. They have a very high dexterity and a 40 ft movement speed. They also have multi-attack, letting them get off two attempts to deal damage. The damage is not high, nor is their life, but their attack bonus is +8 and their AC in the high teens. The point is that they can close quickly and surround a foe, and after that, they can easily wear them down. As an added bonus, if enough of them are killed, the rest of them do something... interesting...

Normal Hitter

Out of the bone piles emerge skeletal warriors, wearing tattered remains of armor and wielding rusted weaponary and ancient bows. As you watch, one reaches into the bone pile at its feet and pulls free a straight arm bone, which it then nocks to its bow and fires at you from across the balconied room.

Basically regular skeletons, but I improved their attack a little to let them get off the occasional hit. These guys are truly here to hamper and physically get in the way. I also give them a little bit of an interactive option with my third skeleton...

The Minotaur Colossal

Lying broken against the dwarven statue is a large creature, tendons and strands of muscle still connecting its various bones into a humanoid shape with a massive bull’s head. The horns of the skull are stained a dull red with dried blood and across its lap lies a massive axe. As the humming in the room subsides, you see to your horror the creature stirring. When it stands, it is nearly eleven feet tall. It moves its head about and one of its empty sockets fixates on you. With a grunt, the creature begins to move forward, slowly at first, but quickly gaining speed to a charge.

This is my version of the “big hitter” in the room. I only use one of him, and as such I’ve buffed him up a little bit. He is, at core, a Skeletal Guardian as described in the monster manual, but with boosted stats and I added in a bull rush ability that can gore a player and knock him prone. His big weakness is his size, making it hard for him to manuever around the room and easy to hit, and while he hits hard he is not as accurate as his twitchy buddies. He does have the ability to heal however by grabbing a normal hitter and reworking their bones into his own, healing himself for whatever hitpoints they have left (but of course destroying them in the process).

A Clean Sweep

Unaware of exactly what the trap is, the players proceed cautiously. First, they clamber up onto the balcony, thinking that will at least give them the higher ground if it comes to a sudden fight. Then they start using Abenthy and Tyrion’s shields as makeshift brooms to sweep the bones in front of them and off the balcony as they move, trying to avoid having any behind them. This proceeds well for a good long while. There are rooms up here, too, each one leading to a small chamber carved with murals that represent the journey towards power in Haggemoth’s life. There is a depiction of him learning all the schools of magic, there is a room showing his accumulation of massive wealth (it also holds a mimic that gives them some brief trouble), there is a room showing him forging great weapons of power (including, oddly enough, a set of scales that he seems keenly interested in), and there is one showing the banishment of Haggemoth from his people and his sailing on a golden ship towards the remote island of Rori Rama.

Eventually, the players come close enough to trigger the trap. They end up triggering it twice before Karinna finally has the idea of putting an arrow into its gemstones, smashing them until she hits the correct one. This stops the trap, but not the 36 or so skeletons that have arrisen to fight them, including the massive minotaur skeleton, who easily clambers on top of the balcony to give battle.

“Hold your ground!” shouted Abenthy, placing his shield in front of him and staring down the massive bone creature that stalked the upper balcony towards him. Behind the minotaur, the masses of twitching skeletons gathered like the sea held back by a dam.

“Fuck that,” Tyrion shouted in his shrill, nasally voice. He began to play his lute and light exploded suddenly behind the minotaur, so bright that Abenthy squinted and turned away. When he looked back, the skeletons were stumbling into each other, swiping at nothing, and had stopped making any forward progress.

“They are blinded!” Abenthy called out. “Now is our chance.”

“They are distracted,” Tyrion corrected, and then followed as Abenthy moved forward, the two of them raining down blows on the minotaurian skeleton until it leapt off the balcony to escape the onsault. Even as it leapt, though, skeletons gathered below it, climbing up onto it, shifting and becoming part of it. Here, a rib that Abenthy had shattered regrew, and there the arm that Tyrion had knocked sprawling as the creature leapt was reforming out of the bones of another skeletong. Meanwhile, more skeletons were clambering up the steps to the upper levels, and they shook their twitching fellows free of their spell and turned them towards the companions. Xaviee and Samuel were the first to see them coming and the two soldiers shouted warnings before falling back towards Karinna, who was quickly disappearing inside a cloud of darkness.

Karina has used this trick before, to strong effect, in the battle against the Bugbears. The skeletons are a little more “programmed” though; when they can no longer see or hear their targets, they quickly revert to “stand by” behavior, all except the minotaur who is in a rage and goes wandering around inside the cloud of darkness, searching for the players. He finds Abenthy and takes a swing at him with a huge axe. Samuel jumps in front of the blow (using character card here) and miraculously survives, but is tossed backwards by the force of the swing, disappearing deeper in the darkness. With no hope of finding him, the players beat a haphazard retreat, making their way up the stairs towards the tomb entrance. The minotaur follows for a brief moment but after finding himself surrounded and taking some solid hits, he flees back to the bone room to recover.

Now there is a moment to breath. The players have been badly hurt. No one has fallen unconcious, but their spells are depleted (from healing, mostly) and their two companions do not seem to have made the escape with them.

“We cannot leave them in there,” Abenthy states. 

Tyrion doesn’t share his dedication to companions. “They’ll be fine,” he says in his heavy accent. “Just let’s get some sleep and I’m sure they’ll find their way back to us.”

But Abenthy is implacable and begins making his way back towards the room. The others hurry to follow, Karina’s cloak of darkness wearing off and trailing wisps of ink-black fog behind her as they descend the stairs towards the bone room.

It breathed. There in the center of the room, crouched with the other skeletons crawling over it like ants on a hill, it breathed. The creature had grown two extra arms, fashioned from the bones of its fellows. And it looked up as they entered.

“Shit,” Karina said, nocking an arrow to her bow. But Abenthy was already striding forward, his arms flung wide, roaring a challenge that was answered in kind by a shriek from the minotaur. It rose, stamped its bony hooves, and then it charged.

Karina was not sure how it happened, but suddenly Samuel was back at Abenthy’s side, and Xaviee was charging out from behind a pillar as well. The blow that would have skewered Abenthy, armor and all, instead shattered Samuel’s spine. The horn that impaled him was wide as a man’s arm and long as a spear. Samuel was lifted into the air as the beast raised its head and shook from side to side until the body of the poor soldier was flung away. Then Xaviee was there, striking at the creature’s back, and Abenthy was moving now, too. His blade shimmering with dark flame, he struck at the creature’s four arms as they reached for him to pull him apart. Behind her a mournful song was being song. Tyrion had pulled free his lute and was singing, each word soudning like sobs, like childhood, like wine spilled in rain, like sadness. She was crying, whether from the song or from everything that had happened to her in her entire life, but she was also fighting, loosing arrow after arrow at the great skeletal beast. And finally, with a mournful sound like the wind escaping a dark cave, the skeletal minotaur collapsed and was still.

Abenthy ran to Samuel, preparing a spell to heal him, but the damage was too far gone. The man was broken beyond basic healing and was taking his last breaths.

“There is another creature,” he said, blood bubbling between his lips. “One formed of the many. It escaped, into a crack in the wall. It is waiting, watching...”

Nothing more did he say. His final warning hung over them and they all felt cold.

Next post takes our players deeper into the tomb, as they encounter deadly traps and deal with the Things Left Undone in the Halls of Bone.

[mcmissileproof]

starfleet adventures, part the third

so we had a guest DM this weekend because the actual DM had religion things to do. the guest DM was my boyfriend, which means two things: 1) the captain wasn’t on this mission, and 2) some Really Weird Shit absolutely was

adventures under the cut because this was a complicated session

so five of us (first officer, doctor, chiefs of engineering, science, and security) took the runabout to a conference, where we talked about noteworthy events in our previous missions (mostly lies, since run-ins with the Tal Shiar and assorted other Interesting Things meant the actual details were classified). Capt. Oberst checked in on us; we affirmed that the conference sure did happen, and Vy’ssia asked for new weapons because she was bored.

 on the way back we ran into some technical issues that caused us to crash-land on a moon of some gas giant. after affirming first that we were all alive and second that pretty much all the ship’s systems were totally ruined, everyone except Garner went out scavenging while Garner tried to get communications and life support working again. while scavenging, we found a cave. there’s a weird energy reading coming from it, but no one can recognize it.

mysterious caves are always a good sign! especially when

Vy’ssia: Did I hear screaming? DDD: No?

apparently Yela did, because there she goes sprinting madly into the cave, and there goes Vy’ssia with a similar urgency. DDD and Baaal, who did not hear anything, try to stop them, but they’re far out of earshot before DDD can get a word out.

once into the cave, Yela begins hearing mechanical sounds. almost like... no. exactly like. she sprints harder.

Vy’ssia does not hear mechanical sounds, but the screams she hears are familiar. she runs harder too.

DDD remains at the mouth of the cave, wondering whether it’s better to follow his officers into the cave or leave them and try to help the efforts to avoid death on this moon. but then, what was that sound up ahead?

Yela is by far the less athletic of the two runners, but she’s high on adrenaline and gets to the first chamber just before Vy’ssia. and as the cave widens, she sees her ex, who she hasn’t talked to in years, her eyes full of desperate fear as a Borg drone closes in behind her. seized with panic, Yela leaps towards her, intending to push her out of the way. she misses, falling prone on the ground, and Vy’ssia picks her up and carries her away as the drone pierces her ex’s neck.

Vy’ssia did not see any Borg. Vy’ssia saw a pit, at the bottom of which were all of her spouses, enslaved.

DDD and Baaal have entered the cave. Baaal sees interesting bugs; DDD hears what he believes to be officials of the Orion Syndicate conversing. he enters the chamber to find their leader standing at a table littered with vital strategic information, unguarded. this is DDD’s chance to take down the Syndicate! he shoots the leader in the head; the leader falls dead.

Baaal sees some more neat bugs and some field data about them.

Garner has gotten short-range communication back online! he tells the others as much via their badges. in return he receives incoherent screaming.

Vy’ssia tells DDD what she’s found. DDD concludes that this must be an Orion slave outpost. Yela is too panicked to talk.

Vy’ssia leaps towards the pit to rescue her spouses and is shot down by a guard. She drops Yela, who sees no guard but finds herself in a room full of Borg in the process of attaching implants to people immobilized on surgical tables. she is slightly concussed. she rushes to find any who aren’t beyond help. she won’t let this become a repeat of last time.

DDD and Baaal send back the information they’ve collected to Garner. Garner says it’s gibberish. DDD says no, this is going to help him take down the Orion Syndicate for good! Baal says what? how are a bunch of notes about insects going to do that?

hold up.

Yela runs for some people in holding cells at the back of the room. they haven’t been assimilated. she can help them. they turn to face her-- oh no, oh god, she can’t help them, their faces, they’re Borg. it’s Wolf all over again, she’s useless, she can’t save a single person. and now she’s been noticed, and a drone is coming towards her. she fires her phaser. it does no damage. oh no.

DDD and Baaal have heard the phaser fire, and are starting to catch on that this might not be real. they run towards the source and find Vy’ssia unconscious. they wake her up and tell her what’s going on. Vy’ssia thinks they’re in prison cells, but decides they probably aren’t. they go to find Yela, who is hyperventilating so badly that they can hear it from a room away, and discover her scrambling around the room with her phaser raised, eyes glassy with panic and fatigue. DDD tries to bring her back to reality.

Yela sees three Borg drones advancing on her. one of them tells her this isn’t real. she doesn’t understand why it’s talking. she raises her phaser. it slips in her hand and sets itself to kill. it probably won’t work, but what other chance does she have? at least this time she’ll have died trying to do something. she aims at the talking one.

at close range, DDD can use his Orion pheromones to subdue Yela. she falls unconscious just as she tries to fire the phaser, and they carry her out of the cave.

well that was interesting! Baaal names the weird radiation from the cave Baaaaal Particles. communications with the White Rose are back; Oberst is pissed that they managed to get themselves stranded on such a short mission. it’s okay. they beam back onboard. Vy’ssia goes to see her wife, and they get to some marital activities.

hey, we’ve got some new crewmembers

DDD goes to see the counselor; Yela goes to the bar to drink away her trauma, and also to avoid the counselor. both see their exes.

Baaal’s files are all gone. he’s sure he had backups in triplicate at least. he asks the captain.

DDD gathers the others and tells them this isn’t real. Vy’ssia, who has been with her wife this whole time, says it’s real enough. Oberst overhears and accuses them of mutiny, then offers Vy’ssia the chance to decapitate them all. Vy’ssia agrees that it isn’t real. they’re beamed to the brig.

well hey! now everyone’s waking up in medbay. they’ve been out for three days. Ensign Lengin confirms that the Baaal Particles don’t appear to be present anymore. everyone sighs collectively and hopes that this is the end of that bullshit.

of course, even if that particular bullshit is over, there’s no shortage of other bullshit! a flash of blue light and a middle-aged man in a Starfleet uniform appears and introduces himself as Q. he talks briefly with Oberst while Garner tries to attack him but is ordered to stop. he expresses excitement at seeing what becomes of what promises to be the most interesting ship in the galaxy! he offers everyone beer; Vy’ssia drinks five tankards because almost no one else trusted theirs. Q disappears the way he came.

Yela lies back down and screams to no one that she signed up to be on a research ship.

they live to deal with more bullshit another day.