#like a lot of the stuff that should be temporary is just sticking around

[drabasp]

Hey shoutout to my stint on low-dose T for literally curing my chronic anemia, seemingly indefinitely

[feistyvirghoe]

₊˚ෆ𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑷𝑬𝑶𝑷𝑳𝑬 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑨𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼? 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑺 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑻 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹 𝑶𝑭𝑻𝑬𝑵? ༉‧₊˚.

!!ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀꜱ!!

ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴜ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ꜰʀᴏᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʟꜱɪɴɢ, ɢᴏ ���ɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴜᴛ, ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜰ ᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ᴄᴏᴏʟ ʙᴀʙʏ ʙᴏᴏ! ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ!

ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴠᴀꜱᴛ ᴀᴍᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴘʟ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴜʀ ᴜɴᴅɪᴇꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴛᴡɪꜱᴛᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ʙᴄ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇꜱᴏɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ, ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ꜰɪɴᴇ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀꜱɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ! <3

ᴇxᴛʀᴇᴍᴇʟʏ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ’ʀᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏꜱᴇꜱ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ꜱᴏ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇ ᴍʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ 18!

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 1 >what people love about you guys is how expressive you are with whatever it is you’re doing, like you’re the ones to explore uncharted territory, the people that like to go do out of the box shit, you’re very adventurous, onto the next thing, the next step, i feel like it may be your unpredictability. it’s like a shock to other people, you doing your own thing, how passionate you are about it too. not letting dumb things get in your way, it’s as if you don’t have time for the drama. something about how fierce you are, it seems to wake something up in others. you get people’s attention and i think that scares them, you come off as intimidating but you just got your own, you really need no one to validate your existence. i feel like it’s because you listen, you don’t exclude people, true sweethearts, my lil feisty ass sweethearts. i feel like it may be your brattiness too, you have people engaged, i also feel like it’s the way you love others as well, you show up for people, i feel like others love the way they can count on you. not in a way to take advantage of you and if so clock that shit! i also am feeling you leaving shit behind that does not serve you, you know how people stay in shit situations bc they feel obligated to, well not u babe, you will get your ass up and leave, which u should! you don’t need to stick around and take on shit that’s irrelevant and will waste your damn time. i also feel like people like how you can see through other people’s bs. you’re aware of others weird intentions towards you, like u can feel it and/or see it as well and when u do you it may make you feel like you’re the problem solver, having solutions to the confusion in your life even if u think you don’t. it’s like you re-group, a lot of introspection and pondering, sitting there, listening to your inner self as well, when you put everything together, and it starts making sense you go from there and make the right decisions for yourself.

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 2 > im getting this cool feeling from you guys, like you’re the popular loner, the person who people wanna get close to but they can’t because you’re selective with who you hang around. i know that’s weird but people like how you enjoy your solitude, your peace, how you can keep to yourself, not like you don’t need people but you just don’t need the wrong people all up in your bubble, your safe space. but i also feel like people love how you embrace the chaos, change is like your middle name, you can easily adapt and let go of things that are out of your control, you know how to get out of your comfort zone. you’re someone who’s cutoff game is strong! you simply do not need anyone i swear this is the theme, YOUR INDEPENDENCE, you know that some things never last and shit is temporary. you know how that can irk some people, like they despise the chaos and they think that it’s punishment but you see it as an opportunity to grow and move on from the stuff that was bringing you down, maybe you just can’t take the unnecessary stagnation, like what are you waiting for, i feel like people love this about you, because you know there’s that sunrise that comes the next day. “if you got beef your problem not mine” you’re like a shocker to people, maybe it’s how you look, maybe it’s how your energy comes off to others but you’re just someone who fucking shows people. that shit can be done a different way. yes you know that it’s never really over and this ending or whatever has been broken down in your life is making way for something newer and better. i feel like people love how you can bring balance into your own life, your steady and confident on that tight rope which may be intimidating and extremely intense for others but you can handle that shit, a very transformational pile. people probably love how you bring change into their damn life but yours as well, maybe people are feeling outcasted by you but you just need time to do things alone and on your own, you’re always thinking and creating, some people may think that you’re full of yourself and that you may just want to cause problems but i feel like that’s there insecurity that they may want to rub off on you, like “oh pile 2 hot a big head” oh fucking please. just because you mind your fucking business and because you’re a natural leader, someone who’s in control but also knows that they’re not and that our creator can bring shit down and humble us whenever and you get that, you just fucking get it and if others don’t that’s all on them, you don’t seems to hold grudges and that may make people think that you’re somehow full of yourself because you think you’re better than the stupid drama and negative projections from people. just keep doing you and stay in your damn lane but u already know that! PERIOD!

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 3 > i feel like the compliments you don’t receive is how beautiful you are, you’re such a magical manifestor, someone who takes the bull by its horns and starts doing, how you can create such beautiful things, whatever it may be, your skills, you seem smart as hell and i say that because you take advantage of this natural talent that’s within you, this was so weird but i was just getting like stalker fucking energy, like people like to watch u do shit, probably don’t wants you doing certain things bc they know how much abundance is within you but maybe you can’t see it clearly but others can. anyways, this is about you not those freaks. i feel like you’re such an inspiration to others with how quietly you do things. there is this mysteriousness about you guys. others don’t know too much about you and that seems to intrigue them, like “i need to know more more more about you!”jeeeeez!! its probably why that other shit came out, like people seem to yap a lot about you and what you have going on. people love how assertive you are, you’re not arrogant or rude but you just give off that stable personality. someone who’s taking that leadership role in any part of your life, whether that may be with school, work, home life, your friends, you’re someone who people can count on, you know how to balance your femme and masculine side, and we all need to, we can’t have one side overpowering the other you know, it causes a major disruption inside of us, and i also feel like it’s how you draw people in with how alluring you may be, you can do both, you can be very stern and set in your ways and you know when to take action at the right time for yourself but you also know how to step into that receiving role, letting love come to you, i feel people may love how you love others, like you don’t make hasty decisions when it comes to your love life, you know yourself and how valuable you are. you’re precious boo and for others to try and make u look weird (by them talking mad shit, just yapping nonsense about you) but it’s bc you’re a no nonsense person, bitch you’re literally a fucking star! all of these cards are major arcana’s and with that coming out it’s like your life looks almost perfect from the outside but people don’t know how you’re doing inside, like what’s going on in your head and what’s hurting your heart, you keep up a good face for outsiders and i see why, not everyone deserves to be near you and in your beautiful energy! you guys make balanced and wise choices for yourself and for others too! something about your creativity and character i feel like you just simply make other people happy by you just being yourself without feeling guilty for it, which u should never feel guilty for loving yourself and making you your first priority, you matter my love! also i’m feeling your humanitarian side as well, the way you care so much about other people that’s why i said what i said above, it’s like someone hates that side of you but this isn’t that reading baby, don’t play into that stupid game either, it’s okay to of service to others and want to help your community or just anyone in general but set good boundaries for yourself, remind yourself not to extend a hand to ungrateful, disgusting, DISRESPECTFUL individuals, know who deserves your time and energy and who don’t. you’re a badass baby!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝓂𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒! 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒’𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝓎𝓅𝑒 𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝓁 𝒸𝓊𝓉𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝓊𝓅 𝒽𝑒𝒽𝑒! 𝒾 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓊 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓁𝓂𝓀 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝓍𝓉. 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒, 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔 𝒾𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓎. 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓊 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊*ੈ✩‧₊˚

[typicalopposite]

WIP Wednesday

thank you thank you @bidisasterevankinard for the tag! 🫶🫶🫶

take me back - Tommy amnesia fic - from ch 3

Evan: Hey! Hope you have a great first day back! Be safe! 🙂

Tommy’s heart skips a beat… he said– he said their thing… Be safe / Of course. Like Bobby and Athena’s Home Safe, or Howie and Maddie’s Miss you already / Miss you most or Han and Leias I love you / I know. It floods his brain with memories of what feels like just last week; him telling Evan the same thing when he called to let Tommy know they were going on a pretty serious call. It stabs him in the chest, and tears sting at his eyes that he quickly blinks away because, no… Evan is allowing him a friendship when he doesn’t deserve one. He will not screw it up this early in because he has a giant sack of unresolved emotional baggage that he filled himself. He replies: I will be he hits send, reels at the sting of making it different, then he sends and thank you :) to balance it out.

The messages are instantly read, and Tommy waits for a moment to see if he’ll say anything else. He doesn’t, so Tommy grabs his keys and heads out the door to his truck. The engine roars to life and he turns his music up loud enough to make his ears hurt— from the volume and the fact every song reminds him of Evan— as he drives the miles to Harbor Station. 

He is actually pretty surprised at the effort his team put into their welcome back, complete with a banner and cake. (If Tommy is being honest he is just about cake’d out from his birthday… but he appreciates the gesture… Especially if— unless they changed a lot in the span of last year to now— this isn’t usual for the 217. This is more of the 118’s style of celebration. He’ll take it.) “Thanks everybody,” he says humbly. 

“Good to have you back,” his captain says, shakes his hand then excuses himself to his office. 

He is approached one by one by his other coworkers ending with Lucy. She grins widely at him, and throws her arms around his neck; a gesture he was used to from her… but things are supposedly different between them now, so it’s an unexpected surprise.  

“How’re you feeling?” she asks. Her– usually sharp, ready to give as much sass and shit as she receives among a crew of mostly men– eyes are soft and sincere. 

“Better… I– I guess,” Tommy replies. “Doc said as long as I don’t crack it open again, staples can come out next week.”

“You still don’t know how that happened?” 

Tommy pulls his lips down into a frown and shakes his head. “That garage is a mess… Evan is always– or… was always–” he stops and sighs, running a hand over the back of his neck, wondering if one day talking about Evan will stop hurting. He doubts it’ll be anytime soon. “He always said I needed to organize my stuff better– guess I should have listened.” 

She gives him a sympathetic smile, hooking an arm around his arm and leading him through the hangar. “Well at least you have plenty of paperwork to keep your mind off of… everything, until you’re cleared to get back in the sky!” 

“Oh, great…” He groans at the piles of unorganized files left for him to keep busy while he is on temporary light duty, and drops into his chair to get started. 

Or rather try to get started… except everything reminds him of Evan– of the accident– of what he lost— of how miserable he is. 

Calls where their stations worked together. Calls with people named Evan, or Tommy, or even worse Dylan. Calls involving head injuries, and memory loss, and extreme depression, and anxiety– a call involving a person giving a statement so filled with regret and despair Tommy has to stop what he’s doing and walk outside for some air. 

“You okay?” Lucy asks, sticking her head out of the helicopter she is running a safety check on. 

“Fine…” Tommy lies, still unable to suck in a deep enough breath that it will stop feeling like he’s being suffocated. 

Lucy sighs and turns the helicopter off. She hops down and walks over to him, face determined. “Seriously, Kinard… I’m not saying you have to be an open book; hell you never were, even before— But don’t start shutting everyone out again. We’re a team and if you’re going through it and your mind is not clear it’s not safe– you could get hurt… again. So we’re not going back there, okay?” Tommy slowly lifts his eyes to hers and nods. 

Lucy calls out for Melvin to finish the inspection and she tips her head towards the side of the hangar. They walk down alongside the metal wall towards the water’s edge. She picks up a rock and flicks it out onto the water; it skips three times before dipping under the surface. She glances over at Tommy, giving him the floor to start the conversation. Tommy doesn’t speak and instead repeats her action– picks up a rock and skips it across the lake. Seven skips before it disappears and Lucy scoffs, calling him a show off. 

“I don’t know why I broke up with him…” is Tommy’s reply. 

Lucy stares at him for a second, like she’s trying to formulate a response. “I– I mean… I’m sure once the amnesia–”

“It’s not because of the amnesia, Luce…” Tommy interjects. “I–” He exhales, long and deep. “I don’t know why I broke up with him because I don’t want to break up with him.” She furrows her brows and he continues before she can speak. “Lucy I woke up thinking it was our anniversary. Just a few days before I dumped him, for– for the stupidest reason!”

“Wait, you know the reason?”

“Ye– Yeah. Evan told me.”

“You spoke to Evan?!”

Tommy sighs. “That’s not the point. The point is that I don’t— or— or I didn’t… I still don’t want to not be with him. I– I was ready Lucy. Ready for the next step– granted the next step was telling him I loved him… whereas his was moving me into his loft–”

“Wait…” Lucy pushes forward from where she had been leaning against a tree and starts to pace. “He asked you to move in– into the loft?”

“He did.”

“But you have a house…”

“Yes but– dammit Lucy this is still not the point! I love him! I- I would have said yes. I s- should have said yes! I don’t–” His voice breaks, he covers his face. Then Lucy’s arms are around him, tugging him down to her level, allowing him to hide his face in her shoulder instead. 

No Pressure 🏷️ (even though I know it’s late 🫣) : @30somethingautisticteacher @sunnywithachanceofbi @nine-one-wanton @herrmannhalsteadproduction @judymarch15

@onthewaytosomewhere @lavenderleahy @bangpop91 @hyperfocusthusly @weewookinard

@beanarie @leashybebes @somethingaboutfirefly @silversky9 @bucksxkinard

@sweaters-and-silly @quintessenceofdust88 @sierrarreads @saibowtie @kinardsevan

@unhingedangstaddict @portinastorm @ladyeyrewrites @rubydaiquiri

@mmso-notlikethat @a-mel0n @rdng1230 @fenrirscarsback

(I am so sorry if I missed someone! Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! For a fic I am writing, a main character who uses a walking stick is temporarily blinded and has to use it in the moment as a makeshift white cane to not run into things. How difficult would it be for her to move forward while she had to use it that way? Are there any pitfalls in specific I should look out for? Thank you!

Hello,

A few things to keep in mind-

She would need to remove the protective rubber tip or else it wouldn't be good for anything other than "there's a large obstruction right there."

She probably wouldn't know how to use it effectively. A lot of blind people need to be taught how to use their canes, especially when they were blinded by trauma rather than naturally. Using a white cane effectively takes knowledge and practice, neither of which she has.

A walking stick is made from very different materials. A white cane is specifically made to send vibrations to the person using it, but a lot of canes are made so that the vibrations don't go to the person using it, because it causes fatigue. Depending on what kind of cane handle she has (an offset handle is usually padded and a derby handle is usually rubber or something similar,) she might need to bypass the handle entirely.

It probably won't be long enough, even if it's an adjustable cane and she's using it as short as it can go. I'll let Sasza explain.

Doesn't she still need the walking stick? Temporarily blind or not, depending on her condition, she might not be able to just start walking without her walking stick and everything's fine. Just something to consider.

It might be best if she goes for a different improvised white cane. Her walking stick probably won't work the way you think it will.

Mod Aaron

Hi, I'm not blind, but I use a walking cane. I agree with what Aaron has already said, but would like to add that a walking cane is simply too short for what a white cane does. My cane reaches to my wrist - if it was a white cane, it would go somewhere to my shoulder.

In the past, I have had a time where I would probably benefit from a white cane if it wasn't temporary (TLDR: eye surgery complications, I was unable to open my eyes for a few weeks), and I really don't see a scenario where using my current cane would be particularly helpful. I just did stuff by touch. You walk slower, pay attention to what's in front of you, and feel what's around you with hands or feet. If it's close enough that you'd feel it with a walking cane, you're either already tripping over it or you just stabbed yourself with the handle of the cane right into the stomach or wherever you were holding it. Potentially both.

In my non-blind, no O&M training, walking cane user experience, sighted guide would be the most helpful, hands and feet would be second (I have gotten toe pain way too many times from slamming my shoe into something, but hey it's better than walking into the wall), walking cane would be somewhere at the very very end. It feels like more of a hindrance to be honest, and I feel like your character would feel a similar way after trying it out.

I hope this helps!

mod Sasza

[theoldoor]

Some Talia + Post-talia content with these bumsOUUOUHOUHUH IM FUCKKIN GSIISSIICKCK

During Talia, Fenrir had lost the ability to read considering his worsening eyesight and lack of interaction with literary medias. He used to teach the kids at the orphanages and people of his own clan, but now he’s with the majority of those who can’t read. (HEADCANON PART) It’s something Fenrir was very insecure about. He grew up lacking education and had to teach himself a lot of things through the library of the estate he was held in and he felt behind his peers for that. He speaks when he needs to around those he’s not close by and when he does he makes sure to check the thing he was about to say in his head multiple times so that he wouldn’t say the “wrong thing.” When someone pointed out an information, whether if they’re right or wrong, Fenrir’s first instinct is to believe them as he doesn’t think he’s smart enough to confirm whatever he was saying, even if it was common sense.

Aventurine came around, he was also one to teach himself a lot of things too considering his background. But Aventurine had his eyesight and he still had papers and stuff from the things he brought along for the Talia mission - he could still read. (HEADCANON PART) The reason why Fenrir knew how to read a few parts at the end of the quest, despite claiming to be illiterate the whole thing maybe was because Aventurine taught him to read along the way - accommodating his impaired vision too.

HERMIA’S CONCEPT WAAA I LOVE HERRRR she’s so >:^ she’s like my niece but i do have to focus on building her character more. she’s more fleshed out in combat and abilities more than loreeee. after im done with her ill move onto stella and bronte lol. she’s tuxedo cat themed, hence her hair and the faux cat ears + hetero chromia.

Fenrir is popular with the kids of Avidity for his gentleness, patience and domestic nature. It was something he brought alongside him from his upbringing. He was born into servitude and a “domesticated dog will always be haunted by the call of the wild”. This is also something that he does genuinely, not to use them for any gain for himself - he believes that kids should be taught kindness before brutality. To him, traces of humanity is above all, considering where he was raised.

Caring for them also gain him quite a reputation, no one really bothers to handle the kids in Talia - As long as they live kinda ideal they got going on there. So Fenrir took the “burden” of the children and let the clan go do their things with no worries.

Though Fenrir feared death twice as others, that also means he valued life twice as others too. He went too far, he has lived this long, it’d be a burden not to see another day and see all your hard work go to waste because you wanted a permanent solution to a temporary phase of your life. He believes that kids should be living by that too. Idk man he’s a caring older brother because he sees himself in these kids and he did not want them to go through whatever he did.

Especially with Hermia, he loves her most and same goes with her. Hermia is the only one who was willing to stick by Fenrir’s side even when he kicked her away (metaphorically) and they’re awfully dependent on one another. Hermia provides Fenrir with the accommodation he needed for his impaired vision and comfort, in return Fenrir brought her closer to the clan and became her older brother (found family way) - he took care of her in every part.

Fenrir was a brutal and cruel man, that doesn’t mean he was not a man.

He has humanity, and that’s why he was discarded to the wasteland of Talia. I think Talia’s concept of “recycling” everything works well - especially for characters like Aventurine and Fenrir. “To be reborn is to live again.”

The two are cruel because they’re survivors. They’re cruel so they can see another day not because they wanted to. They were taught and force to be cruel in this current life. But just imagine, if everything reverted, if they get to be recycled and experience the side of life that runs rather the side that crawls. But to live again also means you gotta go through all the struggles again,

I wrote for the quest for Aventurine to go through everything in Sigonia again as the price for having a family again LOL what a nice bet you made with the devil there aventurine (he made a bet and he “lost” for the first time) and for Fenrir he was in the recycling process during talia and post talia is when he finished recycling ehheuehe.

ooouuuhh he wants that cookie so fuckin bad EUEHUEHUAAAUGGGH jealous fenrir hello

but yk, i dont want aventurine to be the punching bag. he struggled a bit when he came back to pier point and has to act like everything was normal - even given the purple heart equivalent for whatever he contributed during Talia but he didn’t want that at all. Imagine getting honored and praised for losing your loved ones, that shit mustv sucked bro

so fenrir came back, it works well with his dog motif on how he keeps crawling back no matter what. he will always bring back the ball you told him to fetch. loyal as a mutt - “desperate dogs bite harder than wild ones” type shit idk man but when they’re back it’s just “ok” again. Aventurine had a little closer connection and so does Fenrir- now they’re up to some silly shits in penacony or whatnot lol

just like

they went through a lot, but that doesnt strip away their humanity. human has been humans and will always be.

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

What if Sentinel prime just straight up turn into a little kitten one day just out of nowhere while on earth. How would the elite guard and Optimus's crew react to this.

Sentinel-Kitty retains his bot mind but has a hard time controlling his new cat instincts. One second he's screeching because he stepped in a puddle and now his fur is wet and the next he's chasing laser pointers. He straight up considered walking into traffic after he coughed up a hairball for the first time.

-Remember how Optimus laughed when Sentinel was just a head? Yeah, he's laughing his aft off, especially when Sentinel-Kitty makes the most unhappy expression his little cat face can manage. Still, once he's calmed down, he's going to do what he can to help turn Sentinel back to normal. Until then he'll try and take care of his former friend. Feed him, house him, all that jazz. Of course, Optimus' going to have some fun in the meantime as well. So many cat-puns, cutesy nicknames.

-Ratchet straight up sticks Sentinel-Kitty into a cat carrier the moment he starts acting up. Makes fun of Sentinel for now being one of the organics that he so despise and jokes that maybe this will serve as a life lesson. Hah! Fat chance, Sentinel will never learn. Part of Ratchet honestly wishes that Sentinel will stay a cat forever since he's way easier to handle this way. At least like this he can't say anything stupid.

-Bumblebee laughs and points of a long, long time. He bends over, slaps his knee, coughs due to how hard he's laughing. A lot of cat jokes, most of them absolutely trash. Keeps trying to poke Sentinel-Kitty, provoking him, only to earn some scratches and bites in retaliation. Quickly grows bored of pestering Sentinel-Kitty and moves on to more entertaining stuff.

-Now Bulkhead, while he can see the humor in the situation, is mainly kinda jealous of Sentinel-Kitty's whole situation. Being a cat looks like a lot of fun! Lazing around all day, laying in the sun, chasing birds and all that. Thinks Sentinel-Kitty is super cute and says that a lot, which makes Sentinel super mad. Tries to feed him cat food but accidentally gives him enough food to feed at least 20 cats.

-Prowl, like Bulkhead, is also jealous of Sentinel's sudden transformation. What an opportunity, to see the world from the point of view of a cat. How different would it be? What knowledge would he gain? Such an experience is wasted on someone like Sentinel. But at the same time, Prowl also finds the situation hilarious. That's some serious karma right there. Does not spend a lot of time with Sentinel-Kitty but whenever they cross paths he makes a snarky comment about his situation.

-While Ultra Magnus does not particularly like Sentinel, he does value him as a subordinate. Reversing Sentinel's sudden transformation is in the autobot's best interest. Until then, however, he is off duty. He is a liability like this and should be kept out of way least he get accidentally trampled.

-As much as he tries to keep it in, Jazz can't hide his amusement. A small smirk and a quiet snort of laughter escapes him. Makes a couple of jokes but honestly does his best to calm Sentinel down and assure him that this whole thing is only temporary. Sneaks pets from Sentinel-Kitty whenever he can.

-The jettwins, Jetfire and Jetstorm, are completely unhelpful. First, they laugh. Then, they make light of the situation. Similar to Bumblebee, they poke and prod at him, pull at his tail and pet him too harshly. They don't mean to be cruel, they just have no clue on how to take care of cats.

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

Same Trailer, Different Park

(Pilot Episode)

April 14, 2024

Notes - Last night, I went to my first-ever DND game with my oldest nephew, and it was incredible! It's supposed to be every other week, but we're doing it again this upcoming Saturday, and the storyline is giving me so many ideas that I could use for one-shots and stuff! Also, my sciatic pain is going away. It's moved from going all the way from my spine to my right knee to just my right hip, so that's an improvement! Anyway, this was just shy of 50 pages and would have been posted sooner if I had the moodboard and divider transferred to my computer, but I didn't, so here we are lmao! The divider I've used is just temporary until I can sit down and work on one I think suits the vibe, but until then, it is what it is. Also, I hope your finals go well! I believe in you!!

April 14th - the day RMS Titanic struck the iceberg.

Usually, on this day every year, I would be prepping for a Titanic watch party and making sure everyone was ready for it, but that’s just not how it’s going to go this time around. After I get out of school today, it’s officially spring break, and I couldn’t be more excited to finally get away from this endless rain despite the deviation from my annual Titanic anniversary get-together. Riven already offered to give me a ride to school this morning, but since Mom asked me to give Abby and Olly one, and Erica’s piece of shit truck can’t go over puddles without breaking down, he’s giving her and JJ a ride instead. I have to remember to pick up stuff for my battle bot before I leave school, so I’ll tell Abby to remind me - she’s good at that kind of thing. Maybe if I take my notebooks with me on my trip, Mickie and the guys can help me figure out some ideas for what I want to build. Then, I won’t have to come up with something when I get back! Yeah, maybe that’s what I’ll do!

Vivien snapped her journal shut and tugged her headphones off before turning them off and tossing them onto her desk alongside her journal. With a sigh, she found her gaze in the mirror that hung on the back of her closet door as she made her way toward it. Despite the hair sticking in every direction, the blanket marks lining the arm she had fallen asleep on, and the wrinkled pajamas she wasn’t quite ready to rid herself of, she looked ready to start her day. Although she highly doubted she would need a cup of coffee that morning as her excitement for the day was propelling her forward like a cup full of espresso shots, Vivien knew she needed to at least look like she was half as ready as she felt.

Her reflection smiled back as she pushed the door of her closet open, but as she pulled the clothes she had set aside the night before down from her hangers, she found herself wondering if she should have put more thought into the outfit she had chosen. Would her typical choice of jeans, a witty graphic tee, and a brightly colored long-sleeve be a good choice in the long run? She would stand out like a sore thumb in the sixties, but nobody at her school would, frankly, give a shit what she wore. Her dad’s signature triple knock on her bedroom door gave Vivien no chance to change her mind as she hollered back that she was almost ready to go. He left after letting her know that he had to leave for an early morning meeting, wishing her a good morning and telling her that he would see her at lunch before leaving to tell the twins the same.

Sighing as she stretched her tired limbs out, Vivien set her cell phone on her dresser, asking Siri to put on one of her playlists as she debated on what to do with her hair. Glancing at the clothes she had yet to pack for her vacation, Vivien cringed as she realized just how much work she’d forced on her after-school self. For once, she was tragically unprepared for a trip. There was a lot she would have to do in the small amount of time between her release from school and Mick’s family picking her up. Pulling her shirt over her head with a huff and freeing her hair from under the collar, Vivien found her phone screen illuminated as a text came in from the girl who had invited her on her family’s trip in the first place.

Mick’s text was simple - a picture of four plane tickets to the John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, California. Then, as Vivien smiled at her phone, another message came in, asking her if she was ready. A flutter of eager anticipation flew through Vivien’s text as she replied, telling the older brunette how excited she was to finally be able to spend time with the people they both cared about. Once the message had been sent, Vivien found an ABBA song on her playlist, turned the volume back up, and sang softly to herself as she finished getting ready for the day.

After brushing her teeth and taking the time to detangle the hair she had forgotten to ask someone to braid the night before, Vivien gathered her things for school, shoving her overstuffed folder full of homework and project notes into her backpack before grabbing her permission slip for the regional battle bot tournament and shoving it into the back of her bag where it would be kept relatively safe until the end of the school day. Tucking her school laptop into her bag, zipping it shut, and throwing a strap over her shoulder, Vivien scurried out of her room, just barely remembering to turn off the light as Oliver mumbled out a good morning on his way to the stairs. Chuckling as she wished her brother a good morning, Vivien stepped back to allow Abby to parade by with her backpack on one shoulder, a book in her free hand, and her hair pulled back in a migraine-inducing high pony that Vivien was sure she would hear the girl complaining about later in the day.

Following her siblings downstairs as Abby muttered her oral report to herself, Vivien took in a slow breath and hoped her mother had already left for her meeting with some city council board as the smell of slightly charred bacon wafted through the air. Their mother had a habit of making perfect bacon and sausage for herself and everyone else but would sometimes forget Vivien’s and her ex-husband’s in the pan while she took the time to ensure her twins had everything exactly how they liked it. Vivien never bothered to bring up the issue; instead, she gave the charred bacon strips or sausage patties to Riven as he was practically a walking garbage disposal and seemed to enjoy the blackened breakfast meats. Her siblings had tried to bring it up before, and Vivien knew her father had tried as well, but to no avail. The woman wouldn’t argue much with her younger children and always denied anything being wrong, pointing out the fact that Vivien never brought it up herself, but even when Oliver argued that the disgust on Vivien’s face was obvious, nothing changed.

Entering the kitchen, Vivien smirked as Oliver turned back toward Abby and began spouting random historical facts to throw his twin off her train of thought. Abby was quick to fight back, whacking her brother with her book as she told him to shut up and let her focus. Their mother was quick to jump in and tell her only son to leave his sister alone before handing them both their lunch boxes and telling them to get going before they were late. Abby sent Vivien an apologetic look as the eldest of the O’Brian kids took the only remaining lunch box from the counter, and their mother ushered them toward the coat closet. After giving the twins a quick kiss on the forehead and telling Vivien to drive safely, the woman grabbed her jacket and left, heading out to her car and taking off while the kids were still pulling on their spring coats. 

With a sigh, Vivien grabbed her keys from the hook by the door and held the door open for her siblings, but it wasn’t until they were in the pale blue Hyundai Vivien had received from their father after passing her license test that any of them chose to speak up. Oliver huffed as he slid into the back seat, buckling his seatbelt before stretching out across the bench seat and sighing, “I don’t get Mom’s issue.”

“Olly,” Vivien sighed, a soft reprimand that she hoped would keep her brother from ranting the whole way to their school.

“No, Viv,” Abby cut in before Oliver could speak, “we all see she treats you differently, and it isn’t right!”

“It isn’t,” Vivien agreed as she pushed the key into the ignition and started the car, turning the defroster on to keep the windows clear, “but it isn’t worth the effort of trying to change her. Besides, I’ve got you guys and Dad.”

“And Auntie Hayley and Aunt Charlie,” Oliver piped in.

“Exactly,” Vivien nodded, smiling at her younger brother as she backed out of the driveway.

Abby huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and slouching in her seat as she complained, “Still. I wish we knew what her problem was.”

“I have a few theories,” Oliver claimed.

Abby grinned, “We know. You’ve shown us your corkboard of conspiracy theories.”

“Yeah,” Vivien snorted, putting the car into drive and taking off down their street. “I swear, introducing you to MatPat and Shane Dawson at a young age was a bad idea.”

“Seriously,” Abby agreed teasingly. “If I have to be subjected to another three-hour rant about the government brainwashing us through Justin Beiber’s music, I just might pitch myself off of the water tower.”

“First of all, that’s not what my theory was about,” Oliver chuckled, “and second, I meant about Mom treating Viv differently.”

Shifting so that she could see both Oliver and Vivien, Abby said, “Well, you’re the conspiracy theorist here. What do you think is the issue?”

Excited to finally have the chance to blather about the ideas he had been bouncing around in his head for a while, Oliver beamed as he began his spiel, “My first thought was that she’s jealous that Vivien has a better relationship with Auntie Hayley and is upset that she’s not Viv’s birth mom, but that wasn’t an issue when we were little, so why would it be now?”

“Yeah, makes sense,” Abby nodded thoughtfully, sparing a glance at Vivien, who nodded as she slowed to a stop at an intersection. Turning back to her twin, Abby pressed, “So, what else you got?”

Oliver sighed, “Sadly, I think the most likely reason is that she’s just pissy because she thinks Viv forced me into the ‘Alphabet Soup Community’ and is scared she’ll do the same to you, Abs.”

Abby’s expression shifted, a disgusted wince tugging her eyebrows together in frustration as she took in her brother’s theory. It made sense, but she didn’t want to admit it. Though Vivien had come out as bisexual years ago, their mother never truly seemed to accept it until Vivien began dating Royce a few months ago. When Oliver came out as gay, the woman had taken the news out on her eldest child, pulling her aside and blaming her for “poisoning her baby brother” with her “disgusting beliefs.” Abby had unintentionally overheard the conversation, listening proudly to her older sister as the brunette fought for her brother to be treated better than she had been. When Abby later told Oliver what she’d heard, the pair found themselves in Vivien’s room, showering their sister with kind words of gratitude and love that the older girl seemed to relish in.

Ready to rant about their mother’s blatant homophobia, Abby scoffed; however, it was Vivien who spoke before her sister could rage for the rest of the drive, “Sadly, that could be right.” Vivien placed a hand on top of the one Abby had placed on the center console, gently squeezing her hand as she continued, “Even though I hope that’s not the case, it could very well be. She’s always been a little… uptight about that sort of thing.”

“A little?” Oliver chortled, finding Vivien’s gaze in the rear-view mirror. “That’s the understatement of the year.”

Abby laughed, “You couldn’t pull a needle out of her ass with a tractor!”

“Abby!” Vivien reprimanded despite her laughing at the girl’s choice of words.

“It’s the truth!” Abby argued. “I’m sure she would’ve sent you guys to conversion therapy or something if Dad hadn’t said something.”

Vivien sighed as she turned onto School Street, “Still. She’s our mom, and until we move out, we have no choice but to put up with her bullshit.”

Oliver shifted in his seat, ready to crack a joke in order to lighten the situation, but Abby huffed, “I just don’t get why your sexualities matter so much to her. It’s not like it has anything to do with her in the first place.”

“Maybe she-”

“And why should she care if I’m straight or not?” Abby continued, cutting off Vivien’s statement with a scoff. “Is she just going to drop all of us if I someday decide to come out of the closet?”

Once he was sure his twin was done ranting, Oliver shrugged, “Maybe. Like Auntie Hayley said, Mom can’t stand that we aren’t her little dolls who do whatever she says now. I wouldn’t put it past her if she chooses to up and leave if this becomes a three-for-three situation.”

Taking in the wounded expression on her baby sister’s face as she pulled into an empty parking spot, Vivien smiled reassuringly and said, “I doubt you have much of anything to worry about anyway. Even if you came out as bi like I did, you and Malachi have been dating for, what, almost a year now?” When Abby nodded wordlessly, Vivien continued, “Well, Mom only chilled out when she found out I was dating Royce. Since you’re dating a boy already, I doubt there would be a problem.”

“Besides,” Oliver began as he pushed open his door and picked up his bag from the floor, “you’re straight - you have nothing to worry about.”

Plastering a smile on her face as she tugged her bag up from the floor, Abby nodded, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Patting Abby’s hand with a grin, Vivien opened her door and stepped outside, grabbing her backpack from the backseat and locking the car once the doors were closed. Once her keys were safely tucked into the front pocket of her backpack, Vivien followed her siblings to the front door of the school. Before she could step inside, however, a honk from a nearby car made  Vivien jump, whirling around to see Riven’s red Miata pulling to a stop by the sidewalk. Telling her siblings she would see them later, Vivien headed over to the car as the passenger’s side door opened, and a head of emerald hair stepped out before pushing the seat forward.

“Hey, Viv,” Jade greeted with a smile as she tightened her ponytail.

As Erica tumbled out of the backseat, the seatbelt wrapped around the ankle of her Doc Martens, she peered up at the brunette and beamed, “Oh, good! I was hoping to catch you before first period.” 

“Mission accomplished,” Vivien chuckled as Erica hobbled her way away from the car. As the car door closed and the window rolled down, she leaned over and teased, “That’s the only car full of ladies you’ll ever have, isn’t it?”

Riven sent his best friend a grin and gestured to his fellow bandmates as he spoke, “Blues Clues over there can hardly be considered a lady, and considering JJ is the only cheerleader who has ever given me the time of day, probably.”

Chuckling, Vivien rolled her eyes and said, “You’re an idiot.”

“Love you too.”

Before Vivien could return the sentiment, Erica placed a hand on her shoulder and said, “Alright, dipshits, let’s go before the bell rings and we get told off.”

Jade chuckled as she tossed her Chapstick into her bag, ���By who; Viv’s dad?”

Vivien snorted at the thought of her dad reprimanding them, but Erica beat her to the punch as she turned toward her girlfriend and said, “I was thinking Coach Boogeyman.”

Leaning over the passenger seat, Riven wondered, “I thought Bogman was forced to leave after the color guard claimed she was spying on them in the showers.”

“She was supposed to,” Jade huffed, “but until they find enough evidence to take her to court, she has to finish out the year.”

“Sadly,” a voice sighed from behind the group. Turning toward the voice, Vivien smiled as her father spoke, “Until we have her on camera, there’s nothing we can do. Besides, she’s been pushing off retirement for years. With this accusation, we should be able to finalize everything at the end of the year.”

“Good,” Erica snipped as Vivien stepped around her. “She’s always given me the creeps.”

“Understandably so,” Damien chuckled softly, smiling as his daughter slotted herself under his arm. “Hey, babygirl.”

“Hey, Dad,” Vivien beamed. “Did you come to walk us to class?”

Damien shook his head, squeezing his daughter’s shoulder as he replied, “Not quite. I saw you four chatting and figured I would try to get you inside before anyone else came out and started yelling.” Leaning forward enough to see Riven, he asked, “Are you joining us, Riven, or are you just going to do virtual lessons today?”

“No, I’ll be in,” Riven quickly replied, glancing toward the parking lot with his signature grin. “Just have to find a place to park.”

“Make it quick, bud,” the man stated as he glanced at his smartwatch. “The bell rings in ten minutes.”

Riven nodded, checking to make sure his path was clear before pulling away from the curb, his Miata drifting toward the parking lot as Damien began leading his daughter and her friends inside. After handing her lunchbox off to her dad so he could put it into the staff fridge until lunch, Vivien waited until Riven came running up to the front door before stepping inside behind him, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her toward the stairwell across from the main office, waving goodbye to their friends and her father as they propelled up the stairs. Riven dragged her up to the next floor, where their lockers resided, before letting her go as he began twisting in his locker combination. Meanwhile, Vivien pulled her keys from her backpack, slipped a purple-painted one into her lock, and freed it, popping open the metal door with a sigh and placing her bag on the hook inside.

“You know,” Riven began, “it’s days like today that I wish my birthday wasn’t after the school cutoff.”

“Rough morning?” Vivien asked with a grin.

Riven scoffed as he tugged his social studies workbook down from the shelf he had shoved it onto the day before, “I slept through my alarm, and Dad was already at work, so he couldn’t help. Then, I woke up to Erica screeching about needing a ride, only to have my phone die mid-call. And, to top it all off, I’m about eighty-three percent sure these sweatpants are yours from the weekend.”

Vivien’s eyebrow lifted, but as she glanced down at the navy blue sweatpants Riven donned,  her eyes widened. Sure enough, the stars and planets she had embroidered around the pockets and hemline of her sweatpants now stood as a glaring reminder of the clothes she had tossed into the wash at Riven’s house. They had been cooking stuffed shells, and she had dropped the jar of sauce, splattering chunky, red tomato sauce all over the floor and their legs. After putting the food in the oven, they got a majority of the stains out in the sink but threw their clothes into the laundry afterward to get rid of the smell. She had forgotten the pants in her rush to get out the door on Monday morning, having told Riven she would take them back when she went back to his house after spring break was over. Holding back her bark of laughter, Vivien grinned at the thought of Riven rushing around his room that morning, throwing on whatever he could find before leaving the house and somehow missing the colorful threads lining his legs.

“Yeah,” Riven breathed, rolling his eyes at Vivien’s not-so-discrete snort of laughter. “Erica thought it was hilarious.”

“It kind of is,” Vivien giggled softly. At Riven’s dismayed sigh, her grin faltered, and she glanced down at her pants as she offered, “Do you want to trade? I’m pretty sure I stole these from you over the summer.”

Riven spared a glance at the jeans Vivien had worn and grinned; the cuffs were rolled up toward her ankles to prevent them from being stepped on, and she had to wear a belt just to keep the waistband in place, something Riven had no issue with in the slightest. With a snort, he shook his head, “I think I’m good, Pip. You made these and, despite them being on the shorter side, I’m only here until lunch. I can run home and change before work after I’m done eating. Besides, they wouldn’t match your outfit.”

Vivien’s eyebrow lifted into her bangs as she asked, “Since when do you care if clothes match?”

“I don’t,” Riven shrugged as he closed his locker, “but I know you do. Now, come on, it’s almost time for the bell.”

Scrambling to grab her books for the next two classes so she wouldn’t have to run to her locker between bells, Vivien slammed her locker shut and walked alongside Riven until he reached his class. They wouldn’t see each other again until she was allowed to head to the cafeteria for lunch, but their mornings in the halls were something she had cherished for a while. Joining a few of her classmates on their way to their first period of the day, Vivien caught a glimpse of the oversized clock on the wall and sighed. She had four periods until lunch, and only two were on the same floor, but she had planned to use her study hall block to join her friend Emily in the drama wing of the main floor. 

Emily - or Emmy, as she was often called by her relatively small friend group - had been begging her for the last two weeks to join her for the auditions in some musical the school was putting on. Originally, Vivien had no desire to audition as she hated the thought of having so many eyes on her, but when Emily pointed out that the auditorium was in close proximity to the cafeteria, she relented. If it meant she didn’t have to run from her study hall on the top floor all the way down to the main floor to eat, she was in.

Her first block was spent listening to Mrs. Adams - the only social studies teacher who actually seemed to enjoy teaching - ask everyone what their plans were for spring break. She loved to make the class hard as most of her students were either on the honor roll or enrolled in advanced placement classes, but Fridays were the one day a week when everyone got some reprieve from her constant stream of tests, exams, and droning lessons. By the time the bell rang, everyone had broken off into groups, writing out their plans for the week as their teacher sat at her desk with a smile, grading the last few papers on her computer. Vivien had made up a story on the fly, writing out her plans for the trip to California she told everyone she was going on, but as the bell rang, she closed her notebook and shoved it into her desk before grabbing her book for the next class and following her friend, Carter, down the hall toward the French class she had signed up for at the start of the semester.

Although she struggled a lot with the language - finding her old Spanish and German classes easier than French - the teacher commended her many times for at least trying. She wanted nothing more than to learn the language her boyfriend’s family knew, intending to surprise them on her trip. However, she knew her attempts were fairly futile. French just wasn’t her strong suit. Grateful her grade for the class wasn’t going to affect her final grades for the year, Vivien slumped into her chair in the middle of the room and hoped the class would go by faster than it usually did so that she could escape to the auditorium.

Thankfully, it seemed as though the teachers were of the same mindset as the students - eager to escape the concrete and stucco walls and leave for vacation. After answering a one-sided paper of questions in French about how their week had been, the teacher let them wander the halls, allowing Vivien to dump her books in her locker before making her way down to the auditorium. The auditorium was hardly ever used unless they had a guest speaker or a show being rehearsed, but the doors were almost always left unlocked, making it easy for Vivien to slip inside and make her way to the front row of chairs.

The auditorium would be empty for a while before the audition time came, but as Vivien had all the time in the world until her friend showed up, she didn’t mind the silence. Opening the notes app on her phone, she began typing out all of the things she would need to pack when she got home. Her list was already relatively short as she had put her essentials into her suitcase after using them that morning before school - her toiletries taking up the small pouch in the front of her luggage to leave room for the clothes she was still up in the air about. Although she knew that clothes weren’t really necessary as Mick had told her many times that she would be able to borrow period-typical clothes from them upon her arrival, she still needed to shove some summery clothing into her suitcase to make it seem as though her time had truly been spent in the California sun. 

With a sigh, Vivien realized she also needed to leave room for the souvenirs she would be bringing back and any potential shopping she did in either world. By the time she had whittled down her list to just necessities, her journal, and some extra changes of, well, every article of clothing she owned, people had begun to fill the auditorium, ascending the stage and beginning vocal warm-ups that would have impressed Sharpay Evans. Vivien tucked her earbuds in as the noise in the room began to grow, only pulling them out when Emily appeared in the seat next to her, excitedly tugging Vivien out of her shell and onto the stage with her as she rambled about the show they were going to be performing for the end of the school year.

Checking her blood pressure on her watch, Vivien sighed as the drama teachers, Mrs. Kaisla and Mr. Doyle, began telling everyone where to stand before giving them the run-down of the show. “As you all know by the posters in the halls,” Mr. Doyle began, “this year’s final show will be Hairspray.”

“I really want to play Tracy or Penny,” Emily squealed in a whisper mere inches from Vivien’s ear. Grabbing Vivien’s shirt in a fist, she added, “Imagine if Colby gets picked for Link or Seaweed - it would be perfect!”

Chuckling at the girl’s obvious crush on the dark-skinned football player who had been in their friend circles since kindergarten, Vivien whispered back, “I admire your enthusiasm, but is he the only reason you’re auditioning? I mean, you hate being the center of attention as much as I do being on stage; why would you wish for the lead?”

Emily’s sparkling smile faltered as Vivien’s words sunk in but quickly reappeared as the teachers wrapped up their short spiel about the show, “That’s why you’re here.”

“To make sure you don’t look like the worst performer here?” Vivien questioned teasingly.

Emily scoffed, elbowing Vivien in the arm, “Shut up. You’re not that bad.”

“Says you,” Vivien replied as Mrs. Kaisla began ushering some students toward center stage. As soon as she was sure neither she nor Emily were part of the group selected, she added, “There’s a reason I only ever sing in the car or the shower.”

With a sigh, Emily nudged her friend closer to the front of the stage and said, “And there’s a reason I asked you to come with me instead of literally anybody else. You have a beautiful voice. Besides, I need someone here who makes it easier to be in the spotlight. Now, shush!”

Vivien rolled her eyes but smiled as Emily hushed her, urging her to watch the others as they were instructed on what to do. Minutes flew by as the group took turns singing popular songs played over a bluetooth speaker one of the boys had brought to the school. Before she knew it, Vivien felt her stomach clench anxiously as her name was called, and Emily practically dragged her to the center of the stage. Taking a deep breath as the others took turns singing, Vivien tried to think of a song - any song - she could sing at least fairly well, but any titles she knew seemed to flee her brain as her mouth dried up as she resorted to biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself from fidgeting under the blazing lights.

As Emily’s choice - an 80s hit that had made an appearance in the last season of Stranger Things - began to play, Vivien realized just how doomed she was, and her mind flickered to the cell phone in her back pocket. Surely, her Spotify would have something she could work with, right? However, to her chagrin, as soon as the device was free of its jean prison, Vivien found the music had stopped playing, and she was forced to choose a song without any assistance. Had she really taken that long to decide? Clearing her throat, Vivien smiled tersely as she gave up the only song that had found its way to the front of her brain in time - ABBA’s Lay All Your Love On Me. 

The teachers she hardly knew seemed to smile as they talked amongst themselves, and although a part of her was sure they were talking about how easy the song was to mess up, Emily’s encouraging smile from the side of the stage somewhat assured her that all was fine. Closing her eyes as the music began playing, Vivien attempted to force her fears down as she sucked in a deep breath. All she had to do was get through a section of the song, and she would be free to leave as everyone else was. Pretending she was just singing in the car with Riven, Vivien allowed her voice to carry over the music, her enjoyment of the song obvious as she began to sway to the beat, the lyrics flowing out of her like water.

Once the chorus had left her, the music began to fade, allowing the teachers to be heard as they scribbled something on their clipboards. Looking up at her, Mrs. Kaisla smiled and said, “Thank you, Vivien. You’re free to go.”

“Remember to check the cast list when we come back to school,” Mr. Doyle added before gesturing toward the side of the stage, where Emily received her with a hug and a squeal.

The two made their exit relatively quickly, Vivien practically pushing Emily through the double doors so that she could find a source of oxygen in the halls. Once the auditorium doors had closed with a click, Vivien sighed, checking her blood pressure as a wave of anxiety-fueled dizziness washed over her. After making up a quick excuse as to where she was going, Vivien told Emily she would see her after lunch before making her way to her locker, where she kept her water bottle. Sitting on the floor by her locker, Vivien sipped at her water until the bell rang, forcing herself to calm down as she scrolled through Pinterest.

Before long, Jade and Riven appeared, having left the same class Vivien would have to attend after lunch - World History. They hauled her off of the floor, and Riven tossed his books into his locker before draping an arm around Vivien's shoulders and guiding her toward the stairs while Jade rattled off about the teacher - Mr. Smith - being the most boring teacher in the school. After retrieving Vivien's lunch from her father, she joined her friends at their usual table by the windows on the far wall of the cafeteria, spending their lunch block playing a segment of their Dungeons and Dragons campaign on their phones while eating. 

After a while of playing and eating, the bell rang, and they cleaned up their table before tossing Vivien's now empty lunch box into Erica's locker near the gym before saying goodbye to Riven and splitting off to their respective classes. For Vivien, the rest of her classes went by without a hitch, time flying by the way she had hoped all morning that it would. Once her final class of the day ended, Vivien sent a quick text to the group chat she and her siblings had created, telling them that she had to drop off her form for the battle bot tournament and would meet them at the car. Making her way from the top floor to her locker, Vivien gathered her belongings, shoving her water bottle and a small bag of Cheetos her Trigonometry teacher had given her into her backpack before slinging her backpack onto her shoulders.

Once she was back on the main floor, Vivien scurried across the hall, rounded the entrance to the office, and took the stairwell across from the vending machines down to the school's basement. As she descended the stairs, dampness and mildew filled her nostrils, making her nose wrinkle in disgust as she pushed the door to the bottom floor open. Hardly anyone visited the basement unless they had to, as there was little to see, but there were a select few who found comfort in the almost eerie silence and smell the basement offered. While the basement wasn't overly dark or dreary, it never quite felt warm enough to give off the same welcoming feeling the upper parts of the school gave. 

Perhaps it was the piercing white light of the fluorescents or the steady beeping from the computer lab that sounded almost exactly like a hospital heart monitor that kept people away, but regardless, there were only a handful of students who enjoyed the ominous, cold, almost abandoned feeling the basement radiated. Vivien was one of those odd students. After years of exploring abandoned buildings with Riven for his photography blog and her Instagram, the smell and cold environment of the school's basement did little to drive her away. If anything, it was almost calming.

There weren't many reasons for most students to visit the basement, as there were only three labs and two committees that met there. The chemistry, robotics, and computer laboratories were in a triangle-like formation at the very end of the hall, while the photography and student politics groups met at the other end of the hall, their rooms across from each other and sharing a single wall that was thin enough to hear conversations happening in the other room. Vivien hummed to herself as she stepped around an old projector that had been wheeled into the hallway, grinning fondly at the memory of having to haul the old machine up the stairs to the top floor for one of the summer school teachers while helping her dad out in the office. Stepping into the Bermuda Triangle of classrooms at the end of the hall, Vivien scanned the names beside the doors before making her way toward the left-most room.

The door to the robotics lab had been kept open with a hunk of metal the teacher, Mr. Kevin Hill, had welded in his free time one summer. Mr. Hill was one of Vivien's favorite teachers of all time. Mr. Hill was a short Irishman with a fondness for taking things apart and rebuilding them, something Vivien could appreciate. There were a few other students in the room - Vivien's bandmate, Erica; Damon Perry, a vitiligo-skinned freshman who hardly spoke around upperclassmen unless he was spoken to first; and Preston Osborne, a senior who thought his shit didn't stink because he had more money than he knew what to do with. 

Unlike the rest of the handful of rich kids at their school, Vivien had known Preston by extension for years. He had been something of a nightmare for the school system, using his daddy's reputation as a hotshot lawyer in the city to be a dick to anyone who dared push back against whatever he wanted. According to Erica and Jade, Preston wasn't horrible until middle school, when the older kids began picking on him. One threat of a lawsuit later, Preston officially became known as someone nobody wanted to trifle with. Over the years, Vivien had heard her father complain about the boy and had heard horror stories from teachers who'd had him, but Vivien hadn't known him personally until she became the youngest person from their school ever to win the regional battle bot championship. 

In her first year fighting back in seventh grade, she had beaten Preston by a long shot, her little, ladybug-shaped robot tearing Preston's robot apart with its electrified saws. Preston, of course, seemed incapable of taking the news well, having argued with the competition's judges until he was forced to either accept defeat or be disqualified. Ever since that day, Vivien found herself with an upperclassman who thought of her as nothing more than his arch-nemesis. Though she found him obnoxious after a while, Vivien hardly played into his made-up game of tug-of-war unless provoked, something that seemed to piss Preston off more instead of making him see how ridiculous he was being.

Rolling her eyes at the imbecile's glare, Vivien signed her name on the clipboard on the teacher's desk, taking a glance at the competition as she allowed her backpack to slide down from her shoulders. The robotics teacher was supposed to supervise from his desk as Erica, Preston, and Damon scoured the materials the teacher had laid out for them to take, but Damon had somehow managed to ask a question that kept the old Irishman talking while Erica and Preston searched the scrap bins the teacher had left out for them to rifle through. The bins would be there until the day of the competition, giving Vivien plenty of time to come up with a model and a mock-up before she started digging through the bins of scrap metal that, hopefully, wouldn't be sending anyone to the hospital for a tetanus shot that year.

As Mr. Hill stepped away from his conversation with Damon, he found Vivien standing by his desk as she dug through her backpack for the paper she swore she had left in the front of the biggest pouch. "Ah," the teacher began, "Miss O'Brian. I was wondering when you would show." 

Vivien peered over at the teacher and smiled before resuming her search, "Well, better late than never, right, Mr. H?" 

The graying man smiled with a short nod as he sat in his chair once again, "So far, I have only received a couple of sign-ups, so your competition from our school is looking rather small. Do you have an idea for what your battle bot will look like this year?" 

"You know I can't tell you, even if I do," Vivien stated as she tugged her permission slip out and handed it to the teacher. As Mr. Hill glanced over the paper with mild interest, Vivien stepped away from his desk and looked over some of the objects the teacher had prepared. She picked up a few metal pieces she could use for either a weapon or a protective shield and placed them in a plastic Walmart bag that Mr. Hill had left out for the students to use. "Besides, I wouldn't dare divulge my secrets to my enemies," Vivien claimed theatrically as she glanced around at the other students in the room. 

Erica leaned forward just enough to stick her tongue out at Vivien, placing a couple of springs in a plastic bag the teacher had given her. Damon simply smiled but kept quiet as he signed out a workshop tool that he'd need to return in the next two weeks. Vivien returned his smile and chuckled; in the few years she had known him, Damon had always seemed to be a very quiet, reserved person, but he seemed to come a little bit out of his shell when it came time for battles such as this one. However, as opposed to his silent competitors, Preston Osborne scoffed at Vivien and rolled his eyes as he turned toward the brunette. 

He used the wrench he was holding to point at Vivien, watching her with scrutiny as he spoke, "After last year's height requirement debacle, I doubt anybody would take your advice." 

"What?" Vivien began sarcastically, her voice taking on an infantilizing tone. "Are you still upset that mine was bigger than yours?" Ignoring the snorted bark of shocked laughter from her blue-haired friend, the brunette, never one to back down from a fight with the arrogant male, moved so she could look Preston as straight in the eye as her shorter stature would allow. "At least you could see mine in the ring. Everyone needed a pair of binoculars to see yours; it was so small." 

Preston stared down his nose at Vivien before chuckling condescendingly, "At least mine didn't need a judge to do a height check last minute." 

"Yeah, and? Who won that battle again?" Vivien asked rhetorically. Gasping dramatically, she placed a hand over her chest and answered her own question, "Oh, right! Me." 

"You just don't know when to shut up, do you?" Preston retorted with an arrogant scoff. Then, his voice lowered as he hissed, "My dad could sue the shit out of your family. I'd run you and your whole family out of town."

"I don't know who told you that, dipshit," Vivien laughed, "but your daddy's got no power here and neither do you. In fact, I bet your 'big city lawyer' father would love to hear all about how often you try to threaten people in this school. Threatening bodily harm is a potentially jailable offense, you know. I can see the headlines now!"

Vivien pretended to gag as Preston leaned closer, his breath polluting her face as he snarled, "That big mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble if you don't shut it."

"If you think my mouth is big, I feel bad for your girlfriend." Vivien paused, gave a mock gasp, then added, "Oh, wait, you don't have one. Do you, shrimp dick?"

"Look, you little bitch, I-"

"Mister Osborne, Miss O'Brian," Mr. Hill interrupted, rising from his seat before the argument could get any worse. "I believe this argument will get you nowhere. Mr. Osborne, as you have already gathered your things, I suggest you sign out any tools you may need and leave before this ends up as another after-school detention for you. Miss O'Brian, please continue looking around for any particular parts you may need." 

Vivien nodded and waited for Preston to back down and storm off before she resumed her perusing, allowing the teacher to handle Preston as he approached the desk. Mr. Hill was one of the teachers who always formed his own opinions of the children who came into his class, regardless of their notoriety. The man didn't care about who the kids' parents were; he would treat him the same way he would treat any student. Vivien knew from Riven's occasional photography classes at the community college that Mr. Hill had taken opportunities to float around the different universities in the area, teaching robotics and photography when he wished; if he got fired from this school for not babying Preston or some other Karen's spawn, it probably wouldn't be a hard blow. Maybe that was why Vivien, Erica, and most of the other students who didn't like Preston liked Mr. Hill so much. 

Soon, but not soon enough, Preston left and took his bags with him, and Erica flipped him off as he disappeared down the hallway. Turning toward the grinning Vivien, she beamed, "Bitch, you handled him so much better than I would have." 

Vivien smiled as she tossed a handful of small springs into her wagon. "Thanks. I just- I can't stand him."

"Who can other than his parents?" Erica scoffed, "His head's so far up his own ass, I'm surprised he can walk straight."

"I have to agree with you," Mr. Hill piped in as he sat back in his seat. "Although Preston makes fair marks as far as I am aware, he rides on his father's reputation to keep himself above everyone else. Though, as a teacher, I must advise you change your approach, a couple of wounds to his pride will, hopefully, do him well over time." 

"I doubt he'll change," Vivien said, shaking her head, as she examined a small shell-shaped piece that could be used as a cover for her robot. 

The teacher returned to the book he had been reading, and Erica nodded in agreement before taking a battery holder and putting it inside her bag. She looked at Vivien's bag and shook her head at how much the younger girl had already stored away. "Well, I'm looking forward to being annihilated by you again this year, as always." 

Vivien knew the other girl was only joking, as Erica had told her before that she only entered the battles for fun and found it interesting to see how far she could get. With a smile, Vivien chirped, "And I look forward to annihilating you, as always." 

Erica laughed, giving Vivien a quick hug before leaving, claiming she and Jade were getting a ride to work from one of the girls on the cheer team who worked at the mall with them. Once her friend was gone, Vivien went back to picking out parts for her robot, picking out items she thought could be of use and tucking them into the bag that had begun to weigh her arm down. The brunette spent another handful of minutes in the classroom before deciding she had enough things. As she placed her heavy bag inside another, she tied the handles in a knot and said, "Well, Mr. Hill, I believe I'll be on my way." 

"Actually, Miss O'Brian, I have to go over the rules for the battles before you leave," the teacher claimed, tucking a bookmark into the novel he was reading before pulling a paper from his desk drawer. "Normally, I would wait until I have you in class, but since we won't be back in school until after spring break, now is as good a time as any." 

Vivien accepted the paper from the teacher, reading over the first couple of rules before nodding to herself. "Did they change them or something?" 

"Not exactly." Mr. Hill stood and made his way around the desk, sitting on the other side of the surface as he pointed out some of the notes at the bottom of the page. "The officials are new this year. They've agreed to keep the three-foot height acceptance, but they've eliminated the use of robotic arms that can be used to puncture another robot from the maximum height - as you can see here." 

"Let me guess, that rule was made because of my robot from last year?" Vivien pondered. 

"That would be my guess as well," the teacher agreed with a grin. "While that robot of yours was quite impressive, you have to keep it short if that's your plan this year." 

Vivien shook her head, knowing that wasn't her idea at all. She liked to change things up every year, never showcasing the same attack twice. Thinking for a moment, Vivien scanned over the jumbled nonsense on the page that she would probably hand off to Mick the moment she saw her and asked, "Are saws and shields still allowed?" 

"Yes, of course," Mr Hill said, nodding insistently. "It would be very hard to take that ruling out. Just remember that you need to have your robot done by the first of June. The following week, the judges will go through the ruling process. Any final adjustments will have to be made before the end of the school day on Friday, the ninth. The first day of battles will be Saturday, and Sunday will be finals and awards, as per usual." 

Vivien allowed herself a brief moment to process the information before nodding, a smile lighting her face as she spoke, "That sounds good to me." Picking up her backpack from the floor, Vivien folded and tucked the paper into the pocket of her jeans and headed out of the classroom. It wasn't until she was near the stairwell that she heard her name being called again. Turning toward the voice, she found Mr. Hill standing in the doorway of his classroom. "Yeah?" she called in return. 

"Just something I meant to tell you before you left." The teacher held his book up a little, a gesture that made Vivien believe he was going to quote something from it, yet, without looking down, he began speaking once more. "Those who are willing to work hard - day in and day out - to achieve their goals are the true winners, regardless of the scores or the judges' opinions. I don't doubt that you are one of those hard-working people, Vivien; you know what you're doing. Your skills never cease to amaze me, and I hope you prove me right again this year." 

With a raised brow, Vivien asked, "Prove you right, sir?"

"I've been an AP Robotics teacher here for twenty-three years," Mr Hill said. "It's not often that I have someone in my class throughout junior and senior high school. Other teachers said I  should have booted you down to the regular class with Miss Denis, but since the day you first walked into my class, I knew you had potential. Since then, you've proved them wrong every step of the way. I commend you for that."

Vivien stood in place for a moment, stunned at her teacher's kind words. "Thanks, Mr Hill. I won't let you down." 

"I know you won't, Miss O'Brian. You never do. Have a nice evening," he replied before turning back to his book and stepping back over to his desk, leaving Vivien standing alone in the hallway. 

Vivien stared at the spot Mr. Hill had previously occupied, letting out an airy laugh as a brilliant smile found its way onto her face. Taking in a deep breath, she straightened her posture and turned toward the stairs, propelling herself up them with newfound confidence. Her bag of assorted metal bits jangled, clanking together in a symphony of scrapes and tings as she ascended the stairs. Once she had reached the main floor, Vivien retrieved her lunch box from Erica's locker. The girl's four-digit code - 8104, Erica's birthdate and year combined - was one of the many Vivien kept in her notes app in case her friends ever forgot them, and even though she was sure Erica couldn't possibly forget her locker combination, Vivien enjoyed knowing that, if her friends needed her to, she could help them.

After tugging the lunch box out from the chaos that was Erica's locker, Vivien rushed to the office, saying a quick goodbye to her dad before heading to the main entrance, pushing open the first set of doors before lifting the hood of her jacket over her head and hoping her siblings had gotten the spare key to her car from their father as rain poured from above. Shoving open the door to the outside world, Vivien watched as rain slammed down in sheets, taking a deep breath before bolting into the freezing rain, letting out a shrill screech as she scurried across the parking lot to her car. She threw the door open and jumped inside, grateful her siblings had already started the car's heater, as she slammed the door shut behind her.

Abby smirked at her sister's reflection in the rear-view mirror as Vivien shivered in her seat, and with a snort, she asked, "Bit chilly, sissy?"

Turning back toward her little sister, Vivien nodded and sighed, "You could say that." Hauling her backpack and Walmart bag of metal parts over the gap between her seat and Oliver's, Vivien asked, "Can you hold onto these for me, Abs?"

Peering back as Abby placed Vivien's belongings on the seat next to her, Oliver asked, "You're doing the championship again this year?"

"When doesn't she, Olly?" Abby asked rhetorically as Vivien backed out of her parking spot. "She fights every year, and every year, she wins."

"I know that; I'm not stupid," Oliver retorted.

"Debatable," Abby shrugged.

Ignoring his twin, Oliver said, "I just thought that, since she was going on vacation, she wouldn't be participating this year."

"I'll have plenty of time," Vivien claimed, putting the car into drive and steering it toward the parking lot's exit. "Besides, I'll be with Mickie for a whole week. If my battle bot isn't at least halfway done by the time I get back, then one of us either got sick, somehow got pregnant, or died."

Oliver let out a snort, "I mean, fair enough, but aren't you going to do anything fun while you're in California?"

"Building things is fun," Vivien retorted, flicking on her turn signal and glancing both ways before pulling out of the parking lot, "but yeah, we're going to the beach, checking out some museums, and we might visit Disneyland if  we have the time."

Leaning forward between the front seats, Abby asked, "How is it possible that Oliver and I might have a more entertaining spring break than you?"

Sparing a glance at her siblings, Vivien asked, "What do you mean?"

With a smile bright enough to put the sun to shame, Oliver announced, "I'm going with Markus' family to New Jersey so we can check out that American Dream place with the indoor water park and ski slope."

"Really?" Vivien asked. Muttering more to herself than anything, she added, "I'm surprised Mom allowed that after you broke your ankle the last time you went on a trip with them."

Abby hummed in agreement before speaking, "And I'm going with Brynna's family to Great Wolf Lodge for her birthday."

"Those sound fun and all," Vivien admitted, "but how is that more fun than literally going across the country?"

"Because you're going to be doing nerd shit while on vacation while we're having actual fun," Oliver stated blandly.

As the car slowed to a stop at a red light, Vivien turned toward her brother with a knowing look, "You say that like you won't be spending hours upon hours researching some cryptid or something with Markus in the hotel room." Peering in the rear-view mirror, Vivien found Abby's gaze and said, "And, Abby, we all know that you and Brynna will spend your time playing with her little siblings instead of just hanging out."

Abby opened her mouth to argue but quickly shut it again as she let out a soft sigh, "Yeah, I guess you're right." 

"Just because it's spring break doesn't mean we somehow magically turn into party animals once we're on vacation," Vivien claimed with a shrug as the light turned green, and she continued onward. "We've been ingrained to be responsible regardless of where we are, but I'm sure we'll all still have fun being boring with our friends."

Although they constantly joked about going to big house parties at their friends' houses and getting absolutely trashed on whatever alcohol they could find, none of the O'Brian siblings had actually ever gone to a big house party or willingly gotten drunk. Most of the people at their school weren't interested in big parties either as it would be increasingly difficult to get all of their friends in one town. Since their school was regional, kids from towns almost an hour away would be shuttled in on the handful of school-choice buses, making it hard for big parties to really be a thing. Besides, many, if not all, of the friends the O'Brians had made at the school were relatively introverted kids who cared more about their studies than getting wasted, making their running joke of getting drunk with their friends even more preposterous.

Abby peered out the window at the rain as Oliver said, "You know, I kind of like that we're boring."

"Oh, yeah?" Vivien asked, glancing at her brother as she checked whether or not she could cross through the intersection.

"Mhm," Abby nodded in agreement.

"It means our parents let us hang out with pretty much anyone without really caring," Oliver claimed. "Even if our plans were to go out and do dumb stuff at a friend's house, they wouldn't think anything of us going over there."

Abby thought for a moment before saying, "That's true, but we also would feel pretty bad if we took their trust in us for granted."

This time, it was Vivien's turn to hum in agreement, "Yeah."

For the first time since her parents gave her permission to join their neighbors in their house in California, Vivien felt wary about her decision. Although she knew that they had no qualms about her going to California as they had known the Birch family longer than Vivien had been alive, they had no idea about the other universe they would be taking her to. She had no plans of telling them about it as she had promised to keep it a secret from literally everyone she knew, but the thought that she was, for the first time in her life, taking advantage of her parents' trust to go off galavanting in a world they had no idea about. Even though she had no plans of doing anything wrong or illegal while there, a knot began to form in her stomach at the idea of letting her parents down for keeping such a large secret from them.

Taking a deep breath as she pulled onto their street, Vivien pushed her thoughts aside, allowing her excitement to fill her once more. She could worry about it later when she had Mick to talk her through every insignificant problem her mind could sprout up. For now, she had to get ready for the trip, and with a limited amount of time to get all of her clothes folded, she needed to focus on that. As Vivien's blue Kona pulled into the driveway, their mother stepped outside with a few umbrellas, making her way to the end of the walkway and waiting for Viviebn's car to stop. As soon as the car was in park, Chelsea held her umbrella over the passenger's door and opened it, handing her son an umbrella as he stepped out with his backpack.

Wrapping her cardigan tightly around herself, Abby tapped Vivien's arm and said, "I'll take your metal stuff in so it doesn't get wet."

"Are you sure?" Vivien asked in return as Abby handed her the purple backpack she had kept an eye on during the trip home. "I can take it."

"That's okay," she replied. Once the front passenger's door closed, she quickly took hold of the Walmart bag's handles and added, "I don't think Mom bothered to bring out your umbrella, and I don't want them to get wet."

Hoping to save her sister from having to lug the heavy bag inside, Vivien tried to gently argue, "I'm parking in the garage, Abs, it's not a long walk to the door."

"That's okay," Abby shrugged. "I've already got it. I'll bring it up to your room for you."

Before Vivien could say anything to the contrary, Abby grinned, pushed open her door, and slid out, taking and opening the umbrella her mom handed her before slamming the door and rushing to the house with their mother not far behind. Left with her mouth still open, Vivien breathed, "Thanks," before shaking her head fondly and pressing the button to open the garage. Once her car was parked in the spot furthest from the door, Vivien slid out of her seat, pulling her backpack with her. Glancing out at the pouring rain, the brunette sighed, hauling her backpack onto one shoulder and gripping her keys in her free hand as she rushed into the downpour with a squeal, closing the overhead door with a single click as she raced toward the front door of the house.

Once inside, she closed the door, grateful for the warmth of the house, as she trudged her way to the coat closet and began taking off her now-soaked sneakers. Loki soon joined her on the floor, licking the water from her cheeks as she tossed her sneakers onto the drying rack alongside her siblings' shoes. Running her hands through the dog's fur, Vivien felt herself calm as she thanked the dog for his warm welcome. Pushing herself from the floor, Vivien ascended the stairs with her backpack and her Saint Bernard, grateful her bedroom was near the landing, as Loki shoved his way into her room and onto her bed. With a sigh, Vivien rolled her eyes at the oversized puppy and dropped her backpack onto the floor at the end of her bed, plopping herself onto her mattress as she debated how much time she had to pack.

Not even a minute into her procrastination party, Abby stepped into the room without so much as a knock, snickering at her older sister's dawdling as she passed by. "You know, lying there like a limp spaghetti noodle isn't going to help your bags get packed."

"Okay, Mom," Vivien huffed with a smirk, missing the way Abby visibly winced at being compared to their mother. Taking in a heavy breath, Vivien pushed herself from the bed and sighed, "Is it weird that I'm not ready for this now that I'm leaving?"

"Not really," Abby shrugged as her sister entered the closet and pulled her suitcase down from the top shelf. "You get this way before out-of-state competitions too."

"This is different from comps," Vivien said as she placed her suitcase on the end of her bed and opened the shell. "I don't usually go far without you guys."

Stepping up behind her sister, Abby placed a hand on the older girl's back and smiled once she had Vivien's attention, "You'll have tons of fun and you know it. I'm sure you'll forget all about us once you land."

"That's impossible, Abs," Vivien breathed, pulling the lighter-haired brunette into a hug. "I love you guys too much to not miss you."

Lifting her head enough to see her sister's face, Abby replied, "Trust me, you'll be sick of us by the end of the week. Dad will keep you updated with pictures of Loki every morning like he does when we go to camp, I'll send you pictures of the lodge and everything interesting I see, and I'm sure Olly will send you paragraphs of random facts he and Markus found online while they're away. By the end of vacation, you'll be so sick of us that you'll want to get away the minute you come home."

Vivien laughed, "Probably, yeah."

Stepping out of her sister's hold, Abby grinned and said, "Now, come on, we have packing to do."

Allowing her sister to take the reins, Vivien headed into her closet to figure out what clothes she wanted to bring, hauling her plastic bins of summer clothes down from the top shelf as Abby headed into her en-suite bathroom to pack up the essentials Vivien had typed out on her phone. Once Vivien had fished out a handful of clothes she wanted to bring, she brought them to her desk and dropped them in a heap in her chair. By the time Abby finished getting stuff out of the bathroom and into the suitcase, Vivien was halfway done folding her clothes, something Abby had helped finish in record time. After reassuring her sister that she would be borrowing swimwear from Mick's closet upon her arrival, Vivien threw a couple of pairs of shoes into the mesh pouch on the lid alongside her journal and the astronaut-shaped galaxy projector she kept on her bedside table as a nightlight.

With her packing done quicker than she had anticipated, Vivien sent a text to Mick that she was all set before grabbing a dry hoodie from her closet and hauling the suitcase to the main floor of the house, leaving it near the coat closet so that she could slip on some shoes and get out the door as quickly as possible. Once everything was in place, she and Loki joined her siblings in the living room, where Oliver had begun setting up Mario Kart on the Switch. Sitting in the space the twins had left for her, Vivien took the purple joy-con from the coffee table and slouched into the comfort of the couch cushions as Loki took his place on the floor by her feet.

As she chose her usual character, Yoshi, Vivien's phone dinged, and she pulled it out of her pocket, giving her siblings the chance to argue over who got Baby Bowser. Unlocking her phone, she opened her dad's text and smiled. Peering over Abby's head to where their mother was leaning against the kitchen counter, sipping at her freshly-made smoothie while she presumably scrolled through her Facebook, Vivien rolled her eyes and went back to her conversation, thanking their dad for his offer of dinner and asking if he could pick them up their usual McDonald's orders before tucking her phone between her thigh and the couch and picking up her joy-con once again. Breaking up her siblings' argument with ease, Vivien started the game. Once they figured out who got which character, the three of them quickly got immersed in their battle for the first place.

As Oliver overtook Vivien for second place in Coconut Mall, leading the oldest of the siblings to cuss him out and jab him with her elbow, the front door slammed shut, alerting the whole house to the new visitor. Loki let out a bark as he rose from the floor, abandoning his post as the protector in favor of following the smell of french fries and cheeseburgers to the front door. The kids called out greetings to their father as they entered the final lap of their race, getting a chuckled response as Damien made his way through the entryway to the kitchen. Damien set the flimsy drink tray and paper bags plastered with golden arches on the kitchen counters, ignoring the look his ex-wife sent him as he began pulling fries and boxes from the bags and setting them out according to which family member had ordered what.

By the time the kids had finished their race, Chelsea had begun arguing with Damien about the quality of the food he had brought home, but the man seemed unbothered by her attitude, pushing aside her frustrations as the children approached. Stepping aside to allow them access to their meals, Damien accepted quick hugs from each of his children and asked them how their school days had been before following them to the living room. As Abby began to explain how her usually strict English teacher had them watch a movie as he had a migraine, Vivien sat cross-legged in her usual space on the far end of the couch and put one of the throw pillows over her lap so that the plate she put her food onto wouldn't fall.

After her siblings had rambled about their days, Damien turned to Vivien and asked, "What about you, babygirl? Anything fun happen today?"

Vivien shrugged, swallowing her mouthful of french fries before replying, "Not really. I signed up for the battle bot tournament after class."

Before her father could say anything, Abby butted in, "Alix said they saw you at the first round of auditions for the musical. I told them there was no way 'cause you hate being on stage, but they said it was true."

"It was," Vivien admitted before taking a bite of her burger.

Oliver choked on his chicken nugget, coughing a few times before swallowing thickly and asking, "Wait, seriously?"

Nodding, Vivien dipped her sandwich in a pile of ketchup and said, "Yeah. Emily wanted to audition, but didn't want to go alone, so I stepped in. It's not that big of a deal."

"It's a huge deal!" Abby squawked, twisting so that she could see her sister better. "Alix said the drama teachers were thinking of cancelling the other auditions because of you."

"Bull," Vivien scoffed, carefully avoiding the rest of her accusatory cuss as she felt the growing heat of her mother's gaze. "It wasn't even a meaningful audition. I sang some ABBA and ran for the hills; there's nothing impressive about that."

"But Alix said-"

"Alix could have heard wrong," Vivien argued, cutting off her sister's statement before it could spiral out of control. "Besides, even if they do choose me - which they won't - I'll just step down and let the understudy take whatever role I get."

"That would be for the best," Chelsea stated as she stabbed her fork into the grilled chicken salad her ex-husband had bought for her. "We've all seen how you get on stage at your grandparent's camp; putting you in any leading role in front all those people would be so much worse."

Ignoring their mother's statement with a roll of his eyes, Oliver turned to Vivien and said, "You can't back down."

Vivien grinned, sending her brother a curious look as she asked, "Why not?"

"Because!"

"That's not a reason, Olly."

"But it is," Oliver claimed. "We've all heard you sing in the car and you love theatre. This is your chance to see what it's like on Boadway."

"Who says I want to be on Broadway?" Vivien asked with a laugh.

Oliver thought for a moment before saying, "Well, nobody, but-"

"But the school is petitioning to get the Titanic Musical for the April show next year," Damien piped up, eyeing his eldest daughter out of his peripheral vision as she froze, her handful of ketchup-soaked french fries hanging in midair as she processed his claim. Smirking, he added, "If you have at least one show under your belt, they might consider you for one of the primary roles when the time comes."

Excitedly watching the wheels turn in Vivien's head, Abby grabbed her sister's free wrist and wiggled it as she said, "See! If you back down now, you'll never get to be in Titanic next year."

Vivien sighed, green eyes shifting from mild annoyance to fondness as she turned to her younger sister and slipped her fingers between Abby's, "As much as I would love that, there's no chance of me getting the lead."

"Would you at least try out for Titanic next year?" Oliver asked. "That would be right up your alley."

With a snort, Chelsea chortled, "She would probably spend all her time critiquing the accuracy of everything."

"Actually," Vivien began, finding a sliver of courage to meet her mother's gaze, "the show is fairly accurate when it comes to representing the people aboard the ship that night. The historical details are only slightly manipulated to add more drama, and-"

"See," Chelsea began, glancing between her children and ex-husband, "she's already at it."

Abby opened her mouth to argue, but Vivien's grip on her hand tightened, telling her to back down before things could get worse. Abby's bluish-brown eyes found Vivien's emerald gaze, and with a shake of her head, Abby resigned, returning to her food with a barely audible sigh. Refusing to let their last family dinner before spring break be soured by the cutthroat words of his ex-wife, Damien took the remote from the coffee table and switched the input back to the Roku before letting the kids decide between two of the movies on their watchlist - The Outsiders and The Truman Show.

With the rather unanimous vote of The Truman Show, the family settled in once more and relaxed as they watched Jim Carrey's character come to life. Not long into the movie, Abby shifted between Vivien and their father, and it wasn't long before she was sprawled out over the two with her head on Vivien's lap and her legs on their dad's. Once Abby had settled into a comfortable position, Vivien began absentmindedly running her fingers through the girl's lighter hair, calming both of them at once as Truman watched his dad get shoved into a bus and taken away. However, further into the movie, as Truman began drawing a spacesuit around his reflection, Vivien's phone began to ring, and she quickly stood, shoving a somewhat disgruntled Abby off her lap and taking her trash with her to the kitchen before answering the phone. 

After checking the caller ID, she smiled, tossed her trash into the bin next to the refrigerator, and quietly said, "Please tell me you're on your way."

A snort came from the other end as Mick replied, "Hello to you, too. I mean, damn, child, are you that willing to run away from home?"

Vivien glanced at her family and chuckled, "Maybe a little."

"Well, good," Mick replied. "We're pulling into the driveway now, so come out when you're ready."

Snickering to herself, Vivien said, "I thought you already knew I was bi, Mickie."

"Look, rugrat," Mick snipped, though Vivien could clearly hear the humor in her tone. "We're parked by the garage, but bring a rain coat or something; it's pouring."

"Still?"

"Yup."

Vivien sighed, "Alright, I'll be out in a few." She sucked in a deep breath and smiled to herself as Mick hung up her end of the call. Vivien headed back to the living room and grinned as she noticed Oliver holding the remote, keeping the movie paused until her return. Ruffluing her brother's hair, she cooed, "Aww, Olly-bear! Did you pause the movie just for me?"

Shoving her hand away, Oliver ran his hand through his hair and scoffed, "No, I just didn't want to have to rewind it for you."

"Yeah, sure," Abby drawled sarcastically as she punched her twin's thigh.

Chuckling as the twins began arguing over Oliver's ability - or lack thereof - to show kindness, Damien twisted in his seat, found Vivien's gaze, and asked, "Was that Mick and her parents?"

"Yeah, they just pulled up," Vivien nodded, glancing toward the front door.

With a smile, he asked, "Are you ready to go, babygirl?"

Vivien excitedly nodded, but her excitement seemed to dim as Chelsea asked, "Go where, exactly?"

"To California," Vivien explained. "You know, for spring break?"

"I never said you could go," Chelsea stated, finally looking up from her phone with steely eyes. "A trip like that requires planning, and I highly doubt you, of all people, are prepared to fly three thousand miles across the country for a week in some random city you've never been to."

Before Vivien could argue, Damien turned to his ex and said, "She asked both of us months ago, and, actually, she's had everything planned out since I gave her permission. Vivien's a smart girl; she wouldn't jump into something without proper planning."

"She even helped Abs and I plan our trips with our friends," Oliver piped up.

Placing a hand on her dad's shoulder and glancing toward her brother, Vivien thanked him with a smile before turning toward their mom and saying, "And, since Dad gave me permission, I can go, right, Mom?"

Chelsea took in a deep breath, glancing between Damien and Vivien with a stare that would end wars, but finally, she picked up her phone and huffed, "Fine. Go."

Hoping to get out the door before her mother could change her mind again, Vivien began making her way to the door, only to hear footsteps rushing up behind her. Turning, Vivien smiled as Abby and Oliver jogged up to her, Abby wrapping her in a hug as Oliver stood to the side with a grin. Squeezing her older sister, Abby pleaded, "Take lots of pictures for me, sissy."

Letting out a breath of a laugh, Vivien waited until Abby stepped back before taking her keys from the hook by the door and pushing them into the palm of her sister's hand. At Abby's confused look, she said, "Can you put them in your lockbox for me? I don't want Mom to use my car while I'm gone just 'cause it has lower mileage than hers."

Nodding in understanding, Abby softly asked, "Do you want your diary in there too?"

Vivien shook her head, "I'm taking it with me, but thank you."

Oliver shuffled closer, hinting at his desire for a final hug before his oldest sister's departure as he asked, "What about your fancy rocks?"

Wrapping her arms around Oliver's shoulders, she replied, "I took a few with me, but I doubt Mom will do anything with them because most of the ones I left are big and would be obvious if they went missing."

"If you're sure," Oliver mumbled into Vivien's shoulder before patting her back and slipping out of her grasp.

Once she took a step back, Vivien reached into her pocket and pulled out two colorful crystals, holding one out to either of her siblings, "For Abby, some charoite. It's good for keeping away negativity and helping you see a new side of yourself. Hopefully, it'll help you relax while you're away."

Abby smiled at the purple rock, shifting it in the light to see the different hues before thanking her sister and pocketing the crystal. Then, with a roll of his eyes and a smirk, Oliver accepted the smooth green lump and said, "Let me guess, this is some hard-to-pronounce rock too."

"Actually, no," Vivien snickered. "It's green aventureine and it's good for creativity, luck, and opportunities. I figured, with all the activities you'll be doing, and the theories you'll be picking apart, it would be nice to take with you."

Rolling the crystal around in his palm, Oliver allowed his smirk to spread into a smile as he handed Vivien her raincoat and said, "Have fun in Cali, Vivi."

Vivien smiled but didn't have the chance to respond as her father entered the room and said, "She will. Brady and Mack reassured me that they had a fun week planned."

Finding her dad's tired eyes, Vivien slotted herself in his arms and asked, "Will you be alright here without us for a week?"

"I'll be fine," Damien claimed as he ran a soothing hand over Vivien's hair. "Your mother is going on one of her work trips on Monday, so I'll be alone most of the time you kids are away."

Peering up at her father, Vivien smiled, "A week of empty-nesting, huh? That'll be interesting for you."

Damien pressed a kiss to Vivien's forehead and smiled, "It'll be over before I know it. Now, do you have everything?" Vivien nodded. "Are you sure? You've got your toothbrush, hairbrush?"

"I'm sure, Dad," Vivien chuckled. "And, before you ask, yes, I have the taser pen Riven's dad gave me. I took the batteries out and everything, just like he taught me."

Nodding, Damien sighed, "Good. I know I'm overthinking this, but I don't want you to be in a strange city without protection."

"I know," Vivien said with a knowing smirk. "And I don't blame you. It would be stupid of me to go without anything."

Damien hummed before smiling at his oldest girl, "I had your sister sneak something into your bag from the three of us, but promise me you won't open it until you get where you're going and have the chance to settle in."

Glancing at her sister, wondering when she could have slipped something into her luggage, Vivien smiled and said, "I won't, I promise."

"Good," he said, more for himself than his daughter. Then, patting her arm, Damien told Vivien, "Alright, well, get going before I chicken out."

"Alright, alright," Vivien snickered as she rolled her eyes up at her dad. "I'm going."

Allowing his daughter to step away and pull the zipper of her raincoat up as far as it would go, Damien pulled up her suitcase handle and held it out for her to take as he breathed, "Have fun, sweetheart."

"I'll try."

Placing a hand over Vivien's, he smiled, "You will." Once Vivien nodded in agreement, he requested, "Let us know when you land, okay?"

"Of course," Vivien beamed, anticipation bubbling up in her chest as she nodded excitedly. "I'll let you know when we get to their house too."

As Oliver opened the door and Vivien stepped out, Abby said, "I'll let Mom know you said goodbye."

Vivien crossed the threshold of the house and dragged her luggage with her, waving to the Birches and saying, "Thanks. I'll see you guys in ten days."

"Have fun!" Abby called as Vivien rushed through the rain to the Birch family's minivan.

"Enjoy the sun!" Damien said as Brady helped Vivien haul her suitcase into the trunk before closing it.

"Don't get wasted on the beach!" Oliver added, earning him a middle finger from his oldest sister and a tap on the back of the head from their dad. "What?" he asked rhetorically as Vivien hopped into the van and rolled the window down. "I'm just saying."

As the vehicle began to roll down the driveway, Vivien leaned out as far as the seatbelt would allow and yelled, "Love you!"

As her family called back in kind, Vivien rolled up the window and relaxed in her seat, earning a chuckle from Mick as the older brunette greeted her, "You look like a wet dog."

Laughing breathlessly, Vivien pushed her stringy, wet bangs away from her forehead and sighed, "I probably smell like one too, to be honest with you."

Mick pretended to sniff the air before grinning, "Only a little bit."

Vivien smiled and tipped her head to the side, finding Mick's gaze as she sighed, "I hope I don't look like a drowned rat when Royce sees me."

Mack laughed from the passenger's seat, leaning over the center console to see Vivien as she reassured her, "You won't, sweetheart. We'll make sure of it."

"I mean," Brady drawled as he pulled out onto the main roads, seemingly weighing his options until Mack slapped his arm with the back of her hand.

"Brady!"

"Kidding!" the man chuckled, somewhat proud of his playful jibe as the girls in the backseat snickered.

Vivien sighed contentedly as she relaxed into the van's faded, somewhat worn fabric seats, "I've missed this."

"You won't be saying that for long," Mack claimed. "By the end of the first week, you'll be begging us to send you home."

"Doubtful," Vivien replied with a smile. The idea of spending any length of time in the world Mick had been talking her ear off about since the day she discovered it back in December had been like something of a fantasy for Vivien. Now that she actually had the chance to see the places in her friends' pictures, the thought of cutting her stay short for anything other than the most dire circumstances was bizarre. "I'm pretty sure you'll have to drag me away kicking and screaming."

"Well, we certainly won't be doing that," Brady laughed.

"Yeah," Mick agreed, taking Vivien's hand with a brilliant smile. "You can stay there with us for as long as you want."

"And time here won't change, right?" Vivien recounted.

"Right," Mack agreed. "That machine will allow you to stay as long as you like without anything changing."

Mick nodded, watching Vivien's thoughtful eyes flicker behind her circular frames as she explained, "We turn the time control mechanism off while we're in this world so that they can enjoy life normally there, but we freeze time here so that we can enjoy things without having to go back and forth to pay bills and stuff like that."

Vivien grinned, "Like taking random teenagers into different dimensions without their parents feeling the need to call everypolice department in the tate to see if they can send out search parties?"

"I guess you could say that," Brady snorted as he pulled onto the turnpike and pressed the gas pedal further toward the floor.

The conversation seemed to split from there as Mack pulled up the directions to the airport on her phone, telling Brady to slow down before they reached a particular spot the state troopers liked to park in order to catch people speeding on the turnpike. Watching trees and distant buildings fly by as the car sped up, Vivien pulled her phone out of her pocket and unlocked the Discord chat she had with her bandmates, sending them a selfie of herself and Mick before hastily typing a message about them finally being on the road.

Erica was the first to respond - her text of "bitch, you bettr not become a fuckign valley girl!" appearing just before Riven's "Have fun, Pip! Don't get eaten by a shark; I need you for comp" and followed soon after by Jade's ever-calm message of, "ignore their bs. we love you. stay safe. xoxo." Vivien snickered as the trio began blowing up her phone; Erica starting an argument with Riven about sharks being harmless while also telling Jade to fuck off for being the responsible one.

"You good over there?" Mick asked, her humor evident as Vivien glanced up from her phone.

Holding out the device and leaning over so that they could both watch the drama unfold, Vivien explained, "Erica's being a bitch, Riven is a sarcastic shit, and Jade's acting like a mother hen, so Erica picked a fight with both of them."

Mick watched as Erica sent a wall of text that only consisted of the middle finger emoji, snickering, "So, a normal day, then?"

"Pretty much," Vivien agreed. As they watched conversation bubbles appear and Erica's rant spiral into nonsense, her smile faltered. She would miss them while she was away. Even when her family went on vacations, Riven would go with them, and she could text the girls anytime she wanted. This time, her ability to message them and ask them for advice on things would be revoked the minute she entered the other world. With a heavy sigh, she admitted, "I'm going to miss them."

Taking in the girl's expression, Mick reached up and placed a hand on Vivien's back, rubbing circles into her plastic raincoat as she said, "It'll suck for a few days, but after a while, you sort of get used to it."

Peering up at the older girl, Vivien allowed herself to smile, "You're talking from experience, aren't you?"

"Sadly," Mick confirmed. "My instincts were to take pictures of everything to show my friends when I got back, but then I realized I couldn't. It took a while to adjust and my phone is still full of pictures nobody else has seen, but after a while, I got used to just saving the memories for myself."

Nodding in understanding, Vivien breathed, "Yeah, I guess you're right. I can send them some pictures when I get back, but until then, I can keep them to myself."

Pivoting in her seat, Mick turned toward Vivien and asked, "So, what are your plans for Royce? Are we doing a casual surprise where you just walk in and say hi or are we doing something grand in front of everyone?"

"I don't know," Vivien shrugged. "I haven't really given it a lot of thought. I was more concerned about my mom keeping me from going."

"Well, now we've got time to think it through!" Mick exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

“Not much time,” Mack explained. “We’ll be at the airport in about five, maybe ten minutes, and since we have a private flight, we’ll be in the air within the hour.”

“You guys never told me you have a private jet,” Vivien stated. “Like, I knew you guys had money, but damn.”

“It’s not ours,” Mick shrugged.

“One of my friends from school became a pilot,” Brady explained. “He’s offered us free trips whenever we need it since he knows how often we travel to the East coast and it gives him the opportunity to visit some family of his in Vermont.”

Vivien hummed, more to herself than to anyone in the vehicle, “That’s nice of him.”

After a moment of relative silence, Mick patted Vivien’s hand and told her, “Anyway, regardless of what you decide to do, Royce will be surprised.”

“You think?” Vivien asked. “I thought someone would have told him by now.”

Mick shook her head emphatically, beaming proudly as she explained, “Actually, I haven’t told anybody that you’re coming.”

Vivien’s eyes glittered with excitement as she asked, “Seriously?”

Mick nodded, her wavy hair bouncing with the movement, “I'm not the greatest at being sneaky, so the only person who might know is Butchy, and he’s not one to spill things like that.”

“That’s insane!” Vivien exclaimed, a laugh tumbling from her lips at the thought of surprising her friends with her sudden appearance in their world.

“I know, right!” Mick giggled. “But that means we have endless possibilities for surprising people. It all depends on where they are at the time.”

“When we land, it will be about one in the morning, Pacific Time,” Mack explained. “On a commercial flight, we usually stop a few times along the way to swap planes or pick up new passengers, but since this is private, we’re going to stop in New Jersey for a few minutes due to busy airways, and then get back in the air.”

“That will give us plenty of time to think about it,” Mick said cheerfully.

“And give both of you the chance to sleep,” Brady reminded his daughter, peering at her in the rearview mirror before he pulled onto the street that led them to the airport. “We don’t need both of you to be zombies when we touch down.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mick brushed off with a wave of her hand, her excitement over the whole situation outweighing the concept of sleep. “Anyway, I’ve got ideas for both options, and we can talk about them on the plane, if you want.”

Sending the older girl a smile and a nod, Vivien watched Mick smile and relax in her seat; pulling out her phone as Vivien took in a slow breath and glanced out the window. As they passed the Mall of New Hampshire, Vivien snapped a quick picture of the building and sent it to the group chart that had begun to quiet without her presence there to encourage the chaos, sending a cheeky message teasing the two girls who worked within the large, stucco and concrete building. Jade was the first to respond, her video message of her waving to the camera, arriving on Vivien’s phone as they pulled up to a gated parking lot. As Brady began speaking to the guard, listing the passengers and which flight they were on, Vivien sent a private message to Riven, telling him how nervous she was about being on a private plane.

‘You have nothing to worry about, Pip,’ was his reply. ‘The Birches know what they’re doing and wouldn’t put you in danger like that. Just breathe. You’ve got this.’

Sucking in a deep breath through gritted teeth, Vivien sent back a reply of gratitude and tried to relax as the car lurched forward and moved past the gate. Mack popped open the console between herself and Brady, pulling out a trio of passports before turning toward Vivien and asking, “Do you have your passport ready?”

Reaching under her rain coat and into the pocket of her hoodie, Vivien pulled the navy blue booklet out and handed it up to Mack, who added it to the stack in her hands. As they rolled down the tarmac, Vivien watched through the windows, trying to guess which aircraft they would be in. Narrowing it down the further they got, Vivien let out a noise of surprise as Brady turned to the side, lurching her toward the door as he pulled to a stop in a parking space. Looking around in confusion, Vivien followed the others out of the car, following Mack to the back of the vehicle, where they pulled their luggage from the trunk.

Mick grabbed Vivien’s free hand, pulling her toward a jet that had the door open and a set of stairs waiting. Pushing the handles of their suitcases down and picking them up by the straps on top, the girls boarded the plane, pushing their suitcases to the side to be scanned before finding seats to collapse into. Nudging Vivien into a window seat, Mick took the seat across from her and relaxed, waiting for her parents to board before instructing the younger girl to buckle up.

After the pilot came to greet them, telling them all the basics he needed to go over before the flight, he returned to the cockpit and announced that they would be leaving as soon as he had permission from the traffic control tower. With much reassurance from the others, Vivien began to relax, snapping pictures of the plane and the setting sun to send to her friends and family. After another announcement came over the speakers about taking off, they were in the air, and Vivien’s phone returned to her pocket as the seatbelt lights turned off. Peeling off her rain coat and shoving it into the seat next to her, Vivien huffed a sigh of relief as she realized the part she had worried about the most was now over.

Watching as the ground below grew smaller and harder to see, Vivien turned her attention to Mick, who had folded her arms on top of the table between them, leaning closer with a smile that told Vivien she didn’t want to know what the girl was going to get her into. “Do I want to know?” she asked the older brunette.

Vivien could hear the girl’s feet thumping against the base of her chair as she swung her legs back and forth, but Mick’s smile refused to dissipate as she explained, “I’ve been cooking up ideas for you.”

Nodding to herself, Vivien rolled her eyes, “Yup, didn’t want to know.”

Ignoring the girl’s statement, Mick said, “I was thinking-”

“That’s dangerous,” Brady chuckled from his seat on the opposite side of the plane.

“Dad,” Mick sighed dramatically. When the older man snickered and struck up a conversation with his wife, Mick turned her attention back to Vivien with a roll of her caramel eyes. “I figured that, once we land, we can-”

“Go to sleep?” Vivien interrupted.

“Ha!” Mick laughed. “No.”

“Yes,” Mack said, her motherly tone giving Mick little to no wiggle room as she deflated slightly.

“Okay, yeah, that too,” Mick relented. “But we can pick out some cute outfits from my closet and make sure you feel beautiful before we go.” Pointedly turning toward her mom, Micxk asked, “Right, Momma?”

“So long as you two aren’t up all night, yes,” Mack replied before taking a sip of the water bottle she had taken from the cabin’s mini fridge. “Now, Vivien, did you have anything to eat, sweetheart? They have sandwiches and things in the fridge, if you’d like.”

“That’s alright,” Vivien brushed off graciously. “Dad brought home some Mickey D’s on his way home from work.”

“I’m surprised he made it through the warden with that,” Brady said in a scoff.

Vivien smirked as the other two women gave their own forms of agreement, simply glad she wasn’t the only one who found her mother’s strict food control to be something of a nightmare. “Yeah, well, he didn’t exactly give her a choice. He came in, gave her a salad to shut her up, and let us get our meals without letting her anger break him down.”

“Good for him,” Mick grinned.

“Glad to know he’s finally growing bigger balls than hers,” Mack added. “I think we’ve all been placing bets to see how long that would take.”

With a hum of agreement, Vivien allowed the conversation to flow between topics, absentmindedly bringing up the subject of the battle bot project she wanted to work on when they got the chance, something that made Mick practically vibrate with excitement. Brady brought up the idea of using his tools if need be, which inspired Mick to go off on a spiel about possibly going to either Butchy’s or Miles’ place of work to utilize their welding kits and use some of the metal scraps they had tossed aside. By the time Mack had managed to pull them away from the topic at hand, they were starting to make their descent at an airport in Newark, New Jersey.

Before the plane took off again, Vivien sent a few relatively dark images and some quick messages to the people who knew she was leaving before stepping into the bathroom of the jet to call her aunts before they went to bed. They discussed the trip and spoke for a while about all of the activities Vivien was looking forward to before they wished each other a good night. Vivien promised to let them know when they landed before ending the call and scurrying back to her seat as the captain announced their approaching departure. Once they were back in the air and allowed to roam about, Mick showed Vivien how to recline her seat and find a comfortable position to sleep in before offering the girl a blanket and promptly passing out in her chair.

One by one, Vivien watched as the Birch family succumbed to the land of dreams, but despite her growing exhaustion and yawns tumbling from her mouth every other minute, she couldn’t find it in herself to actually sleep. She could have easily chalked up her inability to sleep to her nerves, but that wasn’t quite right. Somewhere deep inside her, she knew that there was nothing to worry about. Royce and Bentley would love to drag her around, Carrie had promised to take her to the lot they were filming on if she ever found herself in their world, and even Butchy and Miles had discussed dragging her to their respective jobs to show her knowledge of old vehicles off to their respective coworkers. There was nothing for her to be worked up over.

Forcing herself to take in a deep breath and push her unfounded fears aside, Vivien allowed another yawn to overtake her as she stretched. Reclining her seat and tugging her blanket around her shoulders, Vivien slouched into a more comfortable position, tucked her cell phone into her pocket, set her glasses on the table between herself and Mick’s slumbering form, and waited until the soft humming of the plane’s machinery lulled her to sleep. To her dismay, what felt like only a few minutes passed before Vivien found herself being gently shaken awake, grumbling at the interruption as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

A chuckle came from a blurry form as Vivien searched blearily for her glasses, listening to the person apologize in a soft voice before handing her the glasses she was searching for. Finally peering up at the person, Vivien found Brady smiling back at her, offering her a hand as he told her, “We just landed, kiddo. Time to go home.”

Chuckling exhaustedly as she stretched herself out like a cat rising from a comfortable position in the summer sun, Vivien muttered, “Am I too old to ask for someone to carry me?”

Brady let out another soft laugh, “Never, but I haven’t carried anybody in years, and I’d rather not drop you down the stairs of a plane.”

Vivien snorted and pushed herself from her seat, “Yeah, let’s not do that, then.”

“Smart girl,” Mack advised, patting the teenager on the back as she passed her on her way back from the bathroom.

As Brady worked on waking Mick from her slumber, Vivien folded up the blanket she had used, made sure she had everything she brought with her, and followed Mack to the front of the plane, where they received their belongings. Yawning as she followed Mack down the stairs, Vivien welcomed the warm California air with a tired grin. “It’s nice out,” she muttered as Mack led her toward a pale blue Jeep that had been brought onto the tarmac for them.

Accepting her car keys from the driver who brought the car over, Mack chuckled, “My phone says it’s fifty-something right now.”

More than content with the idea of the summer-like weather, Vivien sighed happily as she hauled her suitcase into the trunk of the car alongside Mack’s, “Like I said, I think you guys will have to drag me kicking and screaming from this place.”

Bringing an arm around Vivien’s shoulders, Mack smiled, “Just wait until you see how close we are to the beach.”

Vivien’s eyes glittered as the woman brought her to the side of the car, encouraging her to climb inside as Mack slid into the driver’s seat. However, before she climbed inside the vehicle, Vivien pulled out her phone and took a picture of the plane they landed in, sending it to the group chat with her bandmates before sending a message to her family members, letting everyone know they had landed safely in Santa Ana and were on their way to the Birch family’s home. Once she was sure the messages had been sent, Vivien slid into the backseat behind Mack and pulled the seatbelt across her body. Once the others had found their way to the car, Mack started the engine and pulled away from the plane, heading through a series of gates before making her way to the street and pulling away from the John Wayne Airport.

Unable to fall back asleep as they pulled onto the San Diego Freeway, Vivien watched with wide eyes as she took in the glow of the city. Throughout the half-hour drive, Vivien took a myriad of pictures. Glowing palm trees, buildings in the distance that appeared to touch the sky, and, as the freeway pulled them through San Juan Capistrano toward the beach, pictures of a seemingly endless night sky over the water. Smiling as he watched the girl take another picture, Brady encouraged his wife to take the long way home without saying a word, and Mack took the next exit, pulling onto Pacific Coast Highway and following it until the first set of lights she could turn at. At the next intersection, she turned onto Park Lantern and followed the street toward the water until it merged with Coast Highway.

The couple suppressed their laughter as Vivien gasped, leaning over their daughter to take pictures of the water that was still covered by a blanket of stars in the nighttime sky. Once houses began to block her view, Vivien relaxed, but her excitement was still very much palpable as the car glided down the highway. Turning toward the backseat, Brady kept his voice hushed as they slowed to a stop at a red light, “If you want a good shot, our street sign is right up here.”

“Really?” Vivien whispered.

Brady hummed in confirmation, “It’s on the light post up here on your side.”

Sure enough, as Vivien leaned closer to her window and squinted up at the post, she found a green sign with the words “Camino Capistrano” in thick, white writing. Although her cell phone refused to see the sign in the dark, Vivien smiled and kept her eyes on it until they had turned onto the aforementioned street and could no longer see the sign. Smiling more to herself than anything, Vivien watched with bated breath as Mack drove further up the street, past a traffic light, and through a curve. When they finally pulled to a stop in front of a fancy black gate with a Mediterranean-style roof and a few doors on either side, Vivien felt her jaw hit the floor.

Contrary to popular opinion, Vivien’s family had money. For a while in her childhood, her family had lived in an apartment that barely gave them enough room to live, but they had enough money to put food on the table and buy new things here and there. After her grandparents offered them the opportunity to move into their old house and take over the winery while they moved closer to their beloved summer camp, Vivien felt as though she was the luckiest person on the planet. While they weren’t exactly Elon Musk-level rich, the winery her parents operated and her grandparent’s summer camp made them more than financially secure. Knowing she had the chance to take on their jobs in the future, Vivien thought she would become richer than she had ever previously thought possible. However, as she got her first look at the Birch’s house, she realized she didn’t know shit about rich people.

Being well off on the East Coast meant having a home you owned, a car or two, and potentially a pet if you felt like it. Most people back home enjoyed taking up residence in old, colonial-style homes that would set them back a good hundred thousand dollars at least and were originally built for families with eleven or twelve children. East Coast wealth was classy, clean, and, well, antique. West Coast wealth, on the other hand, was a new kind of expensive. Stepping out of the car once they rolled to a stop in the four-car garage, Vivien couldn’t help but feel poor in every sense of the word.

Although Vivien had seen bits and pieces of the house over FaceTime with Mick, the sheer size of the house was astonishing. Following closely behind her friend, Vivien’s eyes scanned from the large, orange roof to the various balconies, to the swimming pool that seemed to wrap around the side of the house, and the various water guns and toys strewn about in the yard that were evidence that her friends from another world had visited before the Birches had come to collect her. Entering the house, Vivien waited for the lights to turn on before looking around at the pristine entryway. A large glass chandelier hung above the entrance, glimmering rays of light throughout the hall and part of the living room.

Although Vivien felt more than awake and ready to explore the luxurious home, Mack and Brady urged her to follow Mick upstairs once she had taken her shoes off by the door. Relenting despite her excitement, Vivien followed Mick up the hardwood stairs, grinning at the various childhood photographs of Mick and her friends along the wall as they climbed. Coming to the landing, Vivien found herself taken aback once more by the view. Across from the top of the stairs was a panoramic view of the beach across the street, a comfortable lounge area settled facing the floor-to-ceiling windows with a television mounted on the right wall - the only one without windows.

Before she could take a moment to process the kitchenette on one side of the staircase or the gaming area on the other, Vivien found herself taken by the wrist around the banister to a short hallway with three doors. They passed a room with Mick’s initial painted on the door, but Mick didn’t so much as glance toward her bedroom before opening the door to another room at the end of the hall and stepping aside for Vivien to enter.

With a yawn, the short brunette explained, “This used to be one of our guest rooms, but the boys usually take it when they stay with us, so a lot of Bentley art supplies and Royce’s books stay here.”

Looking up at the coffered, waffle-esque design on the ceiling and the various signs of life in the room, Vivien let out a disbelieving laugh, “This is insane.”

Mick took a look around and sighed at how poorly she had cleaned the room before leaving the week before, “Yeah, I know it’s not the cleanest right now, but we can pick everything up in the morning if you-”

“No, no, no!” Vivien said with a quick shake of her head, turning back toward her friend with a smile as she stood her suitcase by the end of the queen-sized bed. “Mick, you don’t understand.”

Confused in part by the conversation and part by her lack of sleep, Mick’s head tipped slightly to the side as she asked, “What do you mean?”

“I thought my house was big and that we were well off,” Vivien began, twirling around as she examined the room before finding Mick’s gaze again, “but I think yours just bitch-slapped my whole family onto the poverty line!”

Mick let out a snort, shaking her head fondly, “Well, don’t start comparing dick sizes just yet, gremlin. Save that for a time when I can actually think straight.”

“I hardly ever think straight,” Vivien smirked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed she had been given.

With a roll of her eyes and a fond smile, Mick teased, “Believe me, I know. Now, try to get some sleep. You don’t want jet lag to knock you out on your ass later.”

Raising her hand to her forehead in a mock salute, Vivien said, “Sir, yes, sir.”

Chuckling, Mick wished the younger girl a good night before disappearing into the hall, leaving the girl’s door open so that she could see the dimly lit lights in the hallway. Taking in a deep breath in the silence of her new room, Vivien hefted her suitcase onto the bed beside her and unzipped it, pulling out her astronaut lamp and setting it aside before tugging a pair of celestial pajama shorts and a matching tank top from one side of her suitcase. Picking up the luggage, she carried it over to a chair and left it open in the seat, changed into her pajamas, plugged in her lamp, and slipped under the covers with her headphones in one hand and phone in the other.

Putting on her headphones and listening to one of her favorite ASMR channels while watching the stars dance across the ceiling, Vivien finally found herself able to fall asleep relatively quickly. Dreams of surfing cerulean waves with her friends filled her night, and by the time the sun had begun poking through the curtains on either side of her bed, Vivien felt well-rested and ready to start her day. After hastily getting dressed in something appropriate for the eighty-three-degree weather her phone forecasted, Vivien took her time examining the house as she made her way down to the kitchen. Mick’s bedroom had already been vacated, and if the voices floating up the stairs were anything to go by, she was with her parents.

Making her way through the house to the kitchen, Vivien smiled as she listened to her friend’s family converse. The energy in the Birch’s house was always somewhat calming to Vivien, an environment where she could relax and feel at home regardless of what they were up to that day, but the feeling of belonging never wavered, no matter how far apart they truly were. Watching Mick dance around with her mother to the music on the radio, Vivien smiled as she leaned against the island counter. Brady nudged her arm as the song changed, beaming at the new addition to their household before offering her his hand. 

Without much hesitation, Vivien placed her hand in Brady’s and allowed him to lead her in a bouncy dance that twirled them around the kitchen as Vivien giggled. Mack and her daughter stopped after a while to watch the pair, listening to Vivien half-sing, half-shriek her way through the lyrics as Brady spun her around the kitchen with ease. As the song came to an end, he twirled Vivien away, grinning as she laughed over the voice of the radio host.

Once her vision had stopped spinning, Vivien giggled, “Good morning, America!”

Brady chuckled, “Good way to get the blood pumping early in the morning, right, kiddo?”

Vivien nodded, but it was Mack who spoke, “We find it’s nice to do something fun before you start your day.”

“Speaking of starting your day,” Mick began as Vivien climbed onto one of the stools on the side of the island, “are you feeling up to leaving yet?”

“Makana,” Mack scolded lightly, “let the poor girl wake up first.”

Vivien smiled as Mick sighed dramatically, but she shook her head as she turned to the older woman. “It’s alright, Mrs B. I think I’m too excited to be tired.”

Sighing as he opened the fridge, Brady said, “Well, that’s good because I think we’re going to have to have breakfast at Butchy and Lela’s house this morning.”

Mack appeared confused for a moment before realization dawned on her face, “We forgot to pick up food last night.”

Mick shrugged, “It was two in the morning.”

With a shake of his head, Brady turned to his daughter and asked, “Do you mind us using your kitchen?”

Before Mick could reply, Vivien asked, “Wouldn’t it be easier to go to Big Momma’s for breakfast since we have to go there anyway?”

“It would be,” Mick replied with a nod, “but by the time we pry Lela off of you, it’ll be time for lunch.” Turning back to her parents as Vivien nodded in understanding, she said, “Butchy and I can make up something while everyone gets settled in.”

Mack nodded and turned her attention back to Vivien before asking, “Would you like to go now, then? Do you have anything you would like to bring with you?”

Vivien thought for a moment before nodding, “I brought some stuff with me that I wanted to show everyone. Can I run up and grab it?”

“You don’t have to ask, Vivien,” Brady insisted. Nodding toward the stairs, he said, “Just go; we’ll still be here when you come back.”

As Vivien slid out of her seat, Mick patted her arm excitedly and said, “Just put your clothes on the bed and take your whole suitcase. I’m, like, ninety-three percent sure you’ll leave with more clothes than you came with.”

Her excitement surging at the idea, Vivien nodded and hurried for the stairs, bounding up them two at a time and pushing aside her desire to explore the large home as she headed for her room. Moving her suitcase from the chair she left it on to the end of her bed, Vivien began pulling out a majority of her daily clothes, leaving her essentials, headphones, charger cords, astronaut lamp, the envelope with her name on it that her siblings and father had given her before she left home, and a few items of clothing Carrie and Lela had let her “borrow” and never got back. Once she was certain she had everything she wanted to bring with her for however long she would be away, Vivien zipped up her bag and took in a deep breath. Glancing out the window at San Clemente, Vivien smiled at the knowledge that, within mere minutes, she would be transported into a world she had only ever heard in stories and seen in a movie.

Grabbing her suitcase by the handle, Vivien left her bedroom and headed for the stairs, lifting her bag before her descent and taking the handle once she’d reached the landing. Practically skipping to the kitchen, Vivien beamed at the Birches as she cheered, “Ready for liftoff!”

Happy to show off his work to a new person, Brady clapped his hands and gestured toward the sliding glass doors that led to the backyard, “After you, kiddo.”

Vivien took the lead, opening one side of the door and sucking in a sharp breath as she was hit full-force with the heat of Southern California. Mick snickered, wrapping an arm around Vivien and guiding her toward the shed at the back of their property as she chuckled, “Welcome to California.”

‘Ugh,” Vivien groaned, “is it always like this?”

“Not always, no,” Mick claimed, “but believe me, summers are much worse in Florida.”

Hoping the older girl was simply joking, Vivien remained quiet until Mick ushered her into the shed, and she was made to carefully toe her way around scrapped projects and stray tools until she reached the yellow, tube-shaped behemoth pressed securely against the back wall. A large flower Vivien recalled seeing on a surfboard hanging on the wall in the Birch’s home was engraved into metal at the very top of the machine, wires and metal bars sticking out behind it in a haphazard yet efficient way. Pulling the handle on the right side of the machine, Vivien stepped back as the rounded glass panel at the front slid back into the left side of the machine.

With a gentle nudge from Mack, Vivien stepped into the machine, followed soon after by the family who had brought her there. As the glass door slid closed again, Mick took her friend's free hand and told her to hang on to her belongings before instructing her to watch out the window to see things change around them. Somewhat cautious of the machine as it whirred to life, Vivien watched as a vibrant glow from above seemed to illuminate the otherwise dark mechanic's shed. A soft hum filled the air as colors began to swirl outside the machine, a kaleidoscope of hues coming to life in a vibrant array that faintly reminded Vivien of a show she had seen as a child. The colors grew brighter and more vibrant, rivaling the LED lights Vivien knew Oliver had lining his ceiling before slowly dimming and allowing Vivien to see her first glimpse of another world.

Although she didn't want to appear let down by the view she was given, Vivien couldn't help her quirked brow and immediate response of, "It's an old pickup in a dark garage. Cool."

Nudging her friend with her elbow, Mick stepped around her to open the door and snorted, "It's Butchy's. Now, come on."

Taken by the hand. Vivien was dragged into the house and pulled toward the kitchen, where running water could be heard just over the sound of Chubby Checker's song The Twist that played over the radio. As she came to a stop, Vivien felt a smile split her face as she took in the striped wallpaper and yellow cabinets, the vibrant colors of the room making it feel even more inviting than she thought it would. Tilting so she could see around Mick, Vivien held in a laugh with a hand over her mouth as Butchy turned off the faucet, and Lela's voice could be heard as she danced to the music beside him. It wasn't until the music came to an end and the radio host began speaking about the next song that the raven-haired girl noticed the new figures in her house.

Lela jumped and pressed a hand to her chest, her instinctive reaction to cuss out her sister-in-law cut short as she spotted the taller brunette standing behind Mick. Letting out a screech so shrill Butchy flinched behind her, Lela rocketed forward, all but shoving Mick out of the way in order to wrap her arms around her younger friend. Rocking Vivien from one side to the other, Lela excitedly asked, "What are you doing here?!"

"It's spring break back home," Vivien explained as Lela moved back just enough to squish her cheeks in her hands. With her lips resembling that of a goldfish, Vivien continued, "I wanted to surprise everyone."

Prying his sister's hands away from the sixteen-year-old's face, Butchy smiled, "If this is anything to go by, I think Royce might end up having a heart attack when he sees you."

"Let's hope not," Vivien chuckled somewhat nervously. "I don't particularly feel like killing him."

"Sure," Butchy chortled sarcastically. "You know, I've seen some of those crime shows you love so much, piccola. You'd be arrested in an instant if you tried to kill anyone."

Smirking, Vivien said, "First of all, I watch those enough to know how to not get caught at this point. And, second, one of these days, I'm going to figure out what you're calling me, big guy."

"I'm sure you will," Butchy grinned, allowing the girl to step forward and bring her arms around him as he ruffled her hair. "It's good to see you again, Viv."

Staring accusatorily at the man as she took a step back, Vivien asked, "Is the swear jar still in place here?"

Confused as to what that had to do with him being glad to see her, Butchy slowly nodded, "Yeah, why?"

"In that case," Vivien huffed, "I'd say it's nice to see you too, but maybe I shouldn't just yet."

"Oh yeah?" Butchy questioned. "Just because of the swear jar?"

"Mhm," Vivien nodded. "You keep that thing in place and I'll be broke by the end of my first week here."

Butchy chuckled, but before he could formulate a response to Vivien's jab, Lela spoke up, "You're staying for more than a week?"

Turning to the shorter girl, Vivien shrugged, "I was hoping to, if that's alright."

Mick chuckled as she began pulling things from the refrigerator, "She is. I don't think her staying is the problem."

"What do you mean?" Lela wondered.

Butchy stepped up to the counter to help Mick make breakfast before answering, "After letting the boys know she's here, it'll be nearly impossible for them to let her return home."

Lela breathed a noise of understanding before taking Vivien's hands and saying, "We need you to look as normal as possible before you go see the boys. How do you feel about borrowing something of mine?"

Smiling, Vivien nodded, "You're the boss."

As Lela let out a noise of excitement and began pulling her away, Butchy called out, "See you in three hours."

Vivien barely got the chance to look around on her way up to Lela's room, pulled up the stairs faster than she thought humanly possible as Lela began babbling about all the things she wanted to do with the younger girl. Although the girl's excitement was evident, Vivien couldn't help but feel astonished at how fast Lela could talk when she was happy. As Lela pulled her into her bedroom, Vivien couldn't help but look around in wonder at how different it was from the movie. Despite everything looking fairly similar, there were touches of modernity that stood out against the mid-century style of the room - pictures from modern times that had made it back in the girl's luggage, an old iPod Vivien was sure Mick had given her, and some items strewn about that Vivien recalled seeing the older girl buy in her world.

Before Vivien could ask her about anything she saw, Lela pulled her over to the closet, where she revealed a room that had Vivien convinced she had somehow ended up transported to Mia Thermopolis's closet from the second Princess Diaries movie. Two plush chairs sat against the far wall, racks of clothes illuminated by little dome lights lined the walls, and shelves of shoes and accessories filled the empty space. Lela scanned the racks of clothing as Vivien looked around in wonder, picking up a pair of oversized sunglasses with a smile before setting them down and moving on to the shoes.

Moving with practice ease through her color-coordinated clothing, Lela pulled clothes down by their hangers and began stacking them on her chair. Once she felt satisfied by the selection she had laid out, Lela turned to Vivien and smiled as the girl looked at herself in the mirror with a pair of elbow-length gloves, cat-eye sunglasses, and a large sunhat that flopped in front of her face. Stepping up behind the girl, Lela said, "Time to play dress-up."

Vivien giggled, pulling the sunhat off of her head and lowering the sunglasses as she said, "I think I already am."

"And you look fabulous," Lela claimed with a smile before stepping aside and gesturing to the clothes on one of her chairs. "However, I put aside some clothes for you to try on."

"Ooh," Vivien sang as she turned around, setting her accessories aside in favor of the large pile. As Lela began setting things in their rightful places, Vivien picked through the clothing and quickly found herself lost in the myriad of colors, fabrics, and styles. "You want me try on all of this?"

Lela glanced at the dainty watch on her wrist that her uncle had gifted her for her birthday before answering, "Well, I think we'll only have time for a few before they bring us something to eat, but yeah."

Shifting a pair of shorts onto the arm of the chair, Vivien mused, "I'm surprised you didn't want me in a dress today."

"Normally," Lela began as she made up the distance between herself and the brunette, "I would have, but where most of my dresses would be far too short on you, I figured we could make up for that at the shops later. For now, I figured pedal pushers, tees, and some shorts would be more comfortable for you."

"You're definitely not wrong," Vivien smiled. Turning to the older girl, she asked, "Where should I try these on?"

"Right here," Lela beamed, unhooking a curtain from the wall and letting it fall between herself and Vivien. "If you find anything you feel suits you for the day, let me know and I'll come help you look for accessories. In the meantime, I'll be doing my morning skincare."

Excitement flowed through her like an ice-cold drink on a hot summer day, and Vivien thanked Lela before turning toward her pile of clothing and sorting through everything. Setting aside bottoms she could put together with various tops, Vivien began picking out options and trying them on, examining her reflection before trying on something new. After trying on different outfits for a while, Vivien finally settled on one - a pair of striped, white and lavender shorts with a matching purple tank top that covered far more skin than that of the tank tops back home. Lela was quick to offer assistance with the rest of the outfit, deeming Vivien's classic, black and white, doodle-covered Converse acceptable before selecting a handful of necklaces and bracelets for the brunette to choose between.

Once they had taken a break to eat breakfast, Lela began working her magic on Vivien's hair. After making sure her bangs were separated from the rest of her hair by a curler, Lela brushed out Vivien's hip-length locks before pulling them up into a ponytail and securing them with not only an elastic but also a ribbon. Lela curled the very ends of Vivien's ponytail so that it all ended in a uniform ring before spraying it down with enough hairspray to poke a hole in the ozone layer and pulling the curler out from under Vivien's bangs. 

Grinning in disbelief at her reflection in Lela's vanity, Vivien thanked Lela for putting in more effort than she ever did back home, "I could never do anything like this."

"You could," Lela argued as she placed the cover back on her canister of hairspray and set it on the corner of her vanity. "It just takes practice, that's all."

"And far more patience than I could ever manage," Vivien chuckled, rising slowly from the bench Lela had practically shoved her onto. "Seriously, though, Lela, thank you."

"Anytime," Lela beamed. Checking her watch once again, she clapped her hands and said, "Now, I believe it's time we show you off to everyone at Big Momma's."

"What about Royce?" Vivien asked hesitantly as Lela began to leave the room. "Shouldn't we go see him first?"

Turning back to Vivien as she opened her bedroom door, Lela smirked knowingly, "His shift starts early on weekends."

"His shift?" 

But Lela was already on her way out of the room, a wink being the only response Vivien could pry from the girl as she followed Lela out of the room and down to the living room where everyone else was waiting. With everyone else decked out in their finest sixties regalia, Vivien didn't feel half as out of place as she assumed she would be as she followed them outside, where a blue Volkswagen bus waited. As Mick climbed into the driver's seat, Vivien was allowed the seat beside her, and once everyone was inside, they took off down the road. Taking in the sights of the beach town as they rolled down the street, Vivien found it impossible to wipe the smile from her face.

The look of everything in the area was so different than what she was used to back home - mid-century houses with slanted roofs and fun doorways lined one side of the street while small businesses with typically fifties and sixties fonts in their windows lined the other. Turning toward Mick, she said, "I think I'm already in love."

With a laugh, Mick's gaze flitted toward the brunette before settling on the road again as she turned into a small parking lot where a few cars and motorcycles had parked, the expansive beach and a large building with a thatched roof within walking distance of the lot. Confused, Vivien followed the others as they climbed out of the car, but as everyone headed around the building, Vivien found herself dragged by the wrist toward the back entrance. Mick held the door for her younger friend and guided her through the kitchen before depositing her by the refrigerator and telling her to stay low until she came to get her. 

Resigning to her fate of being stuck between the fridge and the trash can, Vivien crouched low to the floor, observing the people in the kitchen as they moved around, seemingly without noticing her presence. The smell of freshly cooked fish and baked potatoes filled the air, contrasting the stench of the food scraps piling up in the trash next to Vivien as she inched as close to the fridge as possible. However, as a blonde waitress entered the kitchen through the swinging door Mick had left through, Vivien found herself caught. With a hesitant smile and an awkward wave, the blonde neared the fridge with a tray and gathered colorful bottles of soda from it before placing it on a stainless steel counter and glancing over her shoulder at Vivien.

"Are you supposed to be back here?" the girl asked, a thick, southern twang accenting her voice.

Vivien swallowed thickly, offering a shrug as she explained, "My friend pushed me back here."

"Why?" the blonde questioned as she began popping off the lids of the sodas.

"I'm trying to surprise my boyfriend," Vivien explained. "I'm from New Hampshire and he doesn't know I'm here."

The blonde glanced around the kitchen, seemingly looking for someone, before settling her hazel eyes back on the girl crouched on the floor. Lowering her voice, she said, "Be grateful Big Momma isn't back here. This place is supposed to be staff-only after the soda geyser incident that happened a few weeks ago."

"Soda geyser?" Vivien repeated, mildly curious as to whether or not that had anything to do with the Mentos experiment she had shown the boys over Facetime not long ago.

"It was a huge mess," the blonde said before waving it off. Kneeling down to the brunette's height, the girl held out a hand and asked, "What's your name?"

Latching hands with the girl, Vivien smiled and said, "I'm-"

"Vivien, it's time!" Mick whisper-yelled as she pushed open the swinging door. Finding the girl on the floor and the blonde in front of her, Mick stalled, the gears in her brain turning for a moment as she processed the scene before a smile appeared on her face. "Oh, hey, Juliet."

"Hey, Mick," Juliet greeted. Turning back to the girl before her, she asked, "I presume that makes you Vivien?"

Vivien nodded, "And you Juliet?" 

"Guilty as charged," Juliet smiled, her teeth a blinding white in comparison to her peachy lip gloss. Pulling the younger girl to her feet, Juliet asked, "So, what's the plan? How're we surprising this lucky mystery boy?"

"Well, I was thinking Viv could go out and pretend to be a waitress to surprise him," Mick claimed.

Glancing through the serving window, Juliet asked, "What table are they?"

"It's Miles' little brother, Royce," Mick explained. "He should be on his lunch break with his brothers now, right?"

Juliet's wide-eyed gasp shocked Vivien as the blonde whirled around, "Wait, for real? You're with Royce?" When Vivien slowly nodded in confirmation, Juliet let out a soft chuckle, "Everyone thought he was pulling our legs when he said he had a girlfriend. Especially 'cause he said she lived in a different state."

"Well, he was telling the truth," Vivien smiled nervously. 

"I guess so," Juliet beamed. Turning to Mick, she said, "Anyway, I just got all their drinks together. If you want to head out now, I'll take Vivien here with me and say she's a new trainee."

Mick thought for a moment, but it didn't take her long to decide, "Honestly, that's a better plan than mine. I'll go back to my seat, and I'll see you out there in a few!"

As Mick hurried back through the door, Juliet turned to Vivien and asked, "So, newbie, are you ready for your first day at work?"

"I guess so," Vivien said, sucking in a deep breath. 

With a smile, Juliet took a spare waist apron from the hangers on the wall and tied it around the younger girl before picking up her tray of sodas and asking, "Think you can carry this to their booth?"

"I can certainly try," Vivien offered, eyeing the collection of colored liquids.

Once Juliet was sure Vivien had a good hold on the tray, she said, "Just stay behind me and don't say a word until I introduce you. The less chance he has of seeing you, the better chances you have of surprising him."

Vivien nodded, and without another word, Juliet began to lead the way out, holding the door open behind her for Vivien before leading her through the busy restaurant. Vivien didn't get the chance to look around much as they walked, more focused on not spilling any drinks than exploring. However, as Juliet stopped at a booth along the far wall, Vivien looked around, hoping to see some familiar faces among the crowds.

Clearing her throat, Juliet spoke, "Hope y'all don't mind, but we've got a new girl with us this noontime and I figured I'd show her the ropes while Royce here takes his break."

"That's fine, Jules," Vivien heard Miles say. "What's her name?"

"I figured I'd let her introduce herself when she's ready," Juliet said, glancing over her shoulder at Vivien before stepping aside.

Finally able to see the group in the booth, Vivien took in the look of surprise on Miles' face first. Miles quickly got Carrie's attention by squeezing her hand, getting her to look up from the menu in her hands. Cerulean eyes glittered like fireworks as Carrie saw the girl standing at the end of the table, and she hurriedly tapped Bentley's shin under the table with the toe of her shoe, making him lift his head from the crayon drawings he had begun on the back of one of the disposable, paper placemats. Somewhat annoyed at the interruption, Bentley lifted his gaze with a question on his lips, but as Carrie pointed to the end of the table, his question died, and his mouth dropped open, his eyes widening to the size of dinner plates.

Before anyone could signal Royce to lift his head from his arms as he yawned tiredly toward the table, Vivien smiled at his tangled curls and said, "Hey, handsome."

Without bothering to look up, Royce decided that, since nobody else cared to speak, he would, and mumbled, "Believe it or not, Miles has a girlfriend."

Vivien fought down a laugh and said, "Believe it or not, I wasn't talking to him."

The first to pull himself out of his shocked stupor, Miles grinned and said, "Royce has one too."

"I don't see her anywhere," Vivien said, placing the tray of drinks on the end of the table. "Maybe I need a mirror."

Royce rolled his eyes, lifting his head from his arms enough to take his soda from the tray as he said, "Not interested."

"Royce," Bentley began warningly but was quickly stopped by Miles as the oldest of the brothers placed a finger to his lips and gestured for the boy to stay silent.

"Damn," Vivien sighed as Royce's forehead rested against his arms once more. "And here I thought we would have lasted at least half a year before you decided to break up with me, Rolls."

Startled by the choice of nickname, Royce's eyes peeled open, and through the corner of his eyes, he found himself looking at a pair of Converse with faded doodles on the white of the toe, but it wasn't until he saw the tiny ship charm dangling from her laces that he began putting pieces together. As he slowly lifted his head, Royce found himself frozen with shock. Sure enough, standing before him was his girlfriend, but she looked as though she had stepped out of a magazine. Her typical jeans and T-shirt were replaced with clothing he was used to seeing on some of his friends at school, and her hair was pulled into a ponytail he knew she would normally complain about at the end of the day, but she didn't seem upset by it in the slightest. Her round glasses caught the light above their table perfectly, glinting magically as the light above another nearby table casted a golden halo around her from behind. For a while, Royce was convinced he was seeing things - Vivien couldn't be in his world; it was impossible! She would have told him she was coming! - but then she smiled down at him and said something he couldn't hear over the thoughts running rampant in his head.

Swallowing as he blinked up at her, Royce softly asked, "Vivien?"

The girl before him laughed, and while that beautiful symphony was all he needed to hear, her nod dispelled any further doubts he could have had. Rocketing up from his seat, Royce lunged forward, bringing his arms around her as far as they would reach, nearly lifting her from the floor as she giggled by his ear. They stood like that for what felt like an eternity before Royce backed away enough to take her face in his hands, examining her as though it was the first time.

"Hey," she breathed, as eloquent as ever.

"You-" Royce cut himself off with a laugh, "You're real. You're real and you're here. How are you here?"

Vivien shrugged, "Magic."

Scoffing a laugh, Royce shook his head and brought her back into an embrace that she quickly returned. Looking over her boyfriend's shoulder at the group, who had now pulled themselves out of the booth to greet her, Vivien smiled and gestured for Bentley to join them. Needing no further encouragement, Bentley was quick to attach himself to the pair, ducking under Royce's arm as it came around his shoulders and smiling as Vivien's snuck around his back. The trio refused to separate until Miles asked for his hug, making Vivien pry herself away from her boys for long enough to give Miles and Carrie a greeting as well. Then, just like magnets, the trio fell back together again. This time, however, they separated after a minute, and with Vivien's hands locked firmly in theirs, the boys began showing her around to anyone and everyone who would give them the time of day.

Vivien couldn't help but smile as she was dragged through the restaurant, her face burning like a neon firetruck. As much as she hated being the center of attention, she tried to swallow back her growing anxiety at being surrounded by strangers in favor of allowing the boys to introduce her to the people they cared about. She was sure her growing nerves and embarrassment at being shown off like a prize horse would wear off over time once the boys began to settle, and she wasn't about to complain to either of them until they were calmed down a bit. After all, they had waited long enough for this. Besides, what was the harm of a little embarrassment? If it meant the boys' gleaming smiles never left their faces, she would deal with it a thousand times over. Catching Royce watching her fondly as Bentley introduced her to some of their and their brother's friends, Vivien smiled. 

Maybe - just maybe - she could get used to this.

[im-out-of-it]

season 1, episode 11 “blood calls to blood”

aka guess who are “siblings” 💀

1. it’s almost funny that Valentine tricks jace this way. like jace thinks it’s his father and he’s so happy but all Valentine is doing is taunting jace and tricking them just so he can have the cup. just like Alec predicted lmao

2. you don’t have to heal jace. you can let him die. we would all be better off

3. I know I post a lot of anti jace stuff but if the writing actually had him being held accountable and he was a decent person, I could get on board. but I can’t. he’s insufferable, toxic, and self involved

4. well, we are back with Alec and Izzy. one shadowhunter trial about to come up 👏🏼

5. “I can’t find jace because I weakened our bond”- yes Alec did weaken it but let’s not just put it all on Alec. parabatai are supposed to have each others back and I haven’t seen jace do that for Alec at all. anytime Alec needs him, jace isn’t there. we don’t know their relationship before episode 1 so maybe he was there but knowing jace, I fucking doubt it lmao

6. “what am I supposed to do, sit here and play solitaire while they find something else to blame me for?”- Izzy. I’m just surprised she knows what that game is 😭 but honestly it’s kind of messed up that clary and Jace got to run off with the mortal cup while Izzy is here almost about to lose her being a shadowhunter. it’s not fair at all. and I think the treatment of jace and clary vs Alec and Izzy is something that doesn’t get discussed much. they hardly are held accountable for anything. they’ve ran off and who is to blame? ALEC. Izzy may have had a hand in helping meliorn but she didn’t do it alone so why is Izzy the one paying the consequences?

7. literally jace could go out and kill a bunch of downworlders and say they attacked me first! and he still would be fine. oh because jace is supposedly the best of us all except he always needs rescuing. Alec has paid the price for so many of jace’s actions.

8. “Izzy, I’m your big brother, please let me help you”-Alec 😭

9. I love that Simon has people helping him out. Luke in season one, Magnus in season two. Magnus had to deal with being a warlock all on his own. Luke had Jocelyn but no one should have to go through their changes on their own ☹️

10. LET JACE DIE! LET JACE DIE! LET JACE DIE!

11. I know Raphael is asexual but I would have been 100% okay with a Raphael and Simon pairing. THEY HAVE CHEMISTRY

12. but I love the importance of the showing making representation matter. we have Magnus who is bisexual, alec is gay, Raphael is asexual, and I can’t think of her name but that officer in season three who is a lesbian as well as aline and Helen. so nice to see 🥹

13. “Funny how those rules for downworlders stop being such a big deal when you need our help.”-ok Raphael tell her off 🔥 literally, what I have been talking about!!!! shadowhunters can break the accords = it’s okay! downworlders breaking accords = they’re evil and must be executed and punished!

14. having Camille only being on the show as temporary was a mistake in my opinion. I’m not saying she needed to be there the whole time but I think she’s a very underrated character who could’ve been more. she didn’t have one entire scene in all of season one that was terrible

15. ah blackmailing, how original

16. how I feel everytime jace gets away with something lmao (I always try to do shadowhunter gifs but I couldn’t resist)

17. Raphael: blackmailing me? how unkind, now stick around new advisor 🥲 raphael doesn’t play any games

18. ah, inquisitor herondale. what a cold bitch she is

19. well jace lives so yay I guess?

20. “this is real clary”-jace. ugh not them putting their whole mouths all over each and making cringe facial expressions 🤢

21. not sorry, I find them so cringe

22. ah, Valentine being Michael wayland being highly suspicious (shit I hope I didn’t ruin this for anyone, SORRY)

23. I love how “Valentine” sees jace following whatever clary says and is thinking hmmmm interesting

24. Izzy is all like if Jocelyn can be on the run then I can, but she had runes and weapons and Luke for starters so it’s not like Jocelyn was alone

okay so this isn’t going to be in order and this post will be more than likely go towards the trial 😌

45. I love the way alec says done and he just stares at Magnus like this man is going to take me for all I’m worth and I’m going to be happy about it 😭

46. the struggle is real for alec because not only is he denying a man who he is most likely having feelings for but he has have the audacity to go back to that same man 😬 and literally ask him for help while also trying to fight his feelings

47. like it’s just got to be hard for alec to be around magnus. I know he’s gay, we know he’s gay, literally the whole world knows he’s gay but alec doesn’t feel comfortable being gay in the shadow world. this is more of an assumption on my part when it comes to Alec. because he’s never dated and we see him “secretly” eyeing other men. which he is rightly validated in because the shadowhunters (more clave) are such oppressive ass judgmental prejudicial dicks who would rather control a being to their mold than have someone be comfortable in who they wish to be. they have this my way or no way thinking of how a shadowhunter should act and be

48. and the show doesn’t really touch up often on what it means to be gay in the shadow world or just different (I mean the books barely did and I would rather cc stay away from all matters because she burns everything she touches so no thanks)

49. also can we talk about how fucking gorgeous Magnus is???????

50. HE KNOWS HE IS FINE AS HELL

51. like how is Alec not drooling over him?????? man he’s got to be using every strength to hold it in and fight it 😭

52. also kind of funny how we’re introduced as jace being the one without emotions and clary as the emotional feeling one and the fact that clary is the one ending valentines reign, and Jace can never handle it

53. I sympathize with Jace losing his parents and having a messed up childhood but I don’t sympathize with someone who has this and uses excuses to be a shitty person. I’m sorry but I never once saw a change in either jace or clary in the show or the books.

54. “You don’t trust Alec so clary means more to you.”- “Michael wayland” ayyyyyy isn’t this what I have been saying this whole time????? dude is reading my mind I swear

55. and now he’s trying to act as though he trusts Alec. “Valentine” is right about something. he has put clary first since she arrived and Alec last. fucking Izzy is about to get deruned and jace and clary are out here basically having the time of their life. I know it’s an exaggeration but what did they think would happen after they saved meliorn????

56. MAGNUS THE LAWYER IS HERE

57. HES IN A SUIT AND TIE ALL READY TO FIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF HIS LIFES SIS AND HE IS ABSOLUTELY THE HOTTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM!!!!!!!!! this is who I need to represent me at any time!!!

58. Magnus: excuse me, your honor but this bitch is irritating the fuck out of me (magnus having to be near Lydia lmao)

okay, so part 3 coming soon 🥰✨

[thetarttfuldickhead]

All right, I fully get that the smart money says Ted leaves Richmond in the next episode, but I just watched 3x01 again (in some mad hope that I’ll get through the entire season before the finale. Outlook: bad, but here’s to believing) and to me, the structurally sound narrative response to a character wondering (in the first 5 minutes of the first episode of the season) what he’s still doing there is not to have him spend the entire season figuring out that, actually no, he shouldn’t be here. That’s just… terribly anticlimactic, really. Posing the question that baldly, this early, to me suggests a story of him figuring out why he is there; why he has chosen that, and might continue to choose so.

Now, if we had gotten something along the lines of “I’m here to make these people the best they could be, they need me and that’s why I’m sticking around” it would make sense for Ted to eventually realize that, actually, job done; they’re as good as I can make them, now they can take it further on their own and I can go (as suggested in this meta, and to me far more satisfying than him leaving “just” because he wants to be with Henry). But we don’t get that: instead Ted notes that he knows why he came (to give Michelle a whole lot of space; it had little to do with Richmond or anyone there), but not what he’s still doing there (him and Michelle are over, so there’s no reason for him to stay away anymore). He assures Henry that he’d only stay for something really important, but he obviously has no idea what that is. He’s presented with several suggestions of what he might still be doing in England – Dr. Sharon’s “you don’t quit things, Ted” and Henry’s “win the whole thing” – but subtly rejects them both. He himself notes that “maybe me being here is doing more hurting than helping at this point, you know” so he’s clearly not sold on the notion of people needing him and him needing to stay for them.

Right from the get go, Ted’s central conflict of the season is set up as him feeling guilty over being apart from Henry and wondering what could possibly justify that. To me, the answer to that should be the justification, not an “eh, actually, nothing can, this was a bad move, let’s go home”. It’d… feel like a betrayal of everything that happened at Richmond (ie the whole series), sort of?

Now, there’s still room for a realization that yes, what he did stay for was the people around him, to help them be better: Ted seeing the labours of his work and knowing that he made the right call for the time being, but now it’s as good as he can get it, and it’s time to be with Henry. This isn’t horrible. I don’t love it, but it isn’t horrible. However, there’s little in the last episode leading up to the as-of-yet undisclosed truth bomb to Rebecca that suggests that this is the realization he’s had. His mother confesses that she’s there because Henry misses him: we already knew that! Ted knew that! The whole season has been about Ted’s guilt over that! This is not news, and should not lead to a sudden conviction that, no, actually, I have to be with my son.

(I mean, it could temporary: I’m not averse to the idea of Ted deciding to leave only to then realize that staying is the right choice after all. But as a final pay-off it’s weak.)

Rather, given the stuff with his mum (and Jamie’s dad) and Mae’s poem, the last episode read to me as Ted coming to terms with the fact that he won’t be a perfect dad. He will screw up. He will leave his son both with things to thank him for and with things that makes Henry want to say “fuck you”, and while he should be careful not to make the same mistakes as his mum, or ever be even a tenth as bad as James Tartt, it’s okay not to be perfect. Maybe it’s okay for his son to miss him; they still have a lot of contact, Henry knows that Ted loves him, and with him and Michelle divorce, it’s likely Henry would miss him some of the time even if Ted lived back in Kansas.

I’ll offer my own counter-argument: maybe Ted accepts that he will not be perfect, but is determined to be as good as he can, and to be that he needs to be with Henry. Fine, but we’re back to the part where this is just a bit anticlimactic, given that the seasons starts with Ted wondering why he’s in London. That’s the question I want answered in the next episode! Why Richmond matters to him, and why he matters to Richmond! 

Ah, it’s obviously folly to speculate: we’ll know for sure in a few days, and it’s very possible that the finale will present things in such a way that it throws new light on everything I’ve said here. (Actually, it’s very possible that the episodes between 3x01 and 3x12 might do that too, but I haven’t gotten that far in my rewatch yet.) That’s okay: I have faith that it’ll work out however it was supposed to. That said, I’d love to have expectations subverted, and for Ted to stay. (Even as I’ve gotten more used to the idea of Richmond without him.)

[third-arch]

Account Update!! (Temporary post)

If I’m not posting, I’m either writing, drawing, sleeping, doing college stuff/homework, or talking to my boyfriend LOL.

So I gotta fit in research and studying somewhere in there

Once my semester is over, I think I’m gonna start posting and talking about all of my Law merch.

Anyways, I already got some stuff that should be coming in and a figure that I gotta pick up from the post office (I was supposed to pick it up today but I slept in)

Here’s what I’m waiting on (pre/ordered):

Banpresto Law + Nika plushies

King of Artist Law (white tank top)

Fem Law figure

Nika Zine

So, if anyone’s interested, I’ll give a review of these once they arrive.

I'm not out to collect every single piece of Law merch there is. Usually it's "I really like that for months, I think it's okay now" lol.

I found all of these for like unbelievably cheap prices and they’re all official, so I’m like yay I love saving money :,))

Also there’s a Heart Pirates Zine, but I’ve really struggled to try to order it, so I’m not getting it. Maybe once orders open up again, I might change my mind idk. Just not interested.

A lot of writing and research stuff rn!! Doing research for No Surprises and working on Pt.2 of the Flower Crown chapter. I’m also working on chapters that requires me to know some stuff about nature and BLS, so I need to pull out the textbook and research that :,))

The fanfic emotionally takes alot of energy and thinking, so it’s taking a bit. Also working on a mini comic, but it’s becoming longer than I want it to be, so I’m having to shorten it.

In the meantime, I’ve been writing a lot of HC’s and mini drafts for Law and Kanna, so the more I post the fanfic, readers will have something to look at to wait.

Anyways, I've been drawing alot of prompts and such to practice with art!! I feel like I'm starting to find more texture possibilities with my most recent piece and utilizing different stroke sizes. Things are coming together more fluid for me, so I just need to keep drawing at least something everyday.

My next target of practice: Tokyo Ghoul artstyle. I really want something soft like that. I've always had this softness to my style that I wanted to keep, and I feel like it'll either vanish or bring out the best in me with art. So, there's that.

Anyways, thanks for sticking around guys. As far as music goes, $uicideboy$, Lil Peep, Mili, Radiohead, and Taylor Swift keep me rambling on haha.

[thefirstknife]

Following up on the ask about the Titan supers, going for the fantasy expectation question specifically- Titans are, thematically, front-line tacticians. People throw around Spartan, Paladin, Soldier, titles like that. What bungie seems to see them as is a big gorilla, or the Hulk, and I feel that does a disservice to the actual characterization of the class. Even if it does different things in gameplay, debuffing for example, running around punching is creatively boring. I'd like a utility supe

The problem is, how do you translate "front-line tactician" into a playable ability? A tactician is someone who makes plans to execute a strategy. Titans are well known to be able to make plans, both ahead of time and on the go, as well as improvise in the heat of battle, but that is simply incredibly metaphysical to make first person shooter gameplay out of.

As an example, would I like if, as a Titan, I could use destructible environment to quickly create a throwing melee or super? Sure. A game where a piece of concrete can be destroyed and then you can pick it up and use it to throw it at enemies or create a temporary barricade or do whatever else you might come up with to simulate a front-line tactician would be unfathomably cool. And also impossible to do in Destiny as it exists right now.

We can extend that to other classes as well. Warlocks are scholars and students of the arcane space magics and should be able to specialise in specific fields and then weave them as they see fit in millions of different ways, but instead their supers are; throw void orb, throw void orb but it tracks, you are void orb, solar sword on fire, solar sword on fire in the ground, electric fingers, electric beam and stick.

Hunters are supposed to be agile scouts and explorers who trek the wilderness and map the unknown, but I'm forced into known missions with fireteams instead of having an open world to map out alone for others. My supers are gun with three bullets, gun with six bullets, knives, bow with one shot, bow with three shots, knives, spin stick, throw stick and tornado.

There's very obviously a limit to what the class is in lore and setting and what it can be in gameplay. I totally understand the disappointment about the new super being seemingly "the same" as the last one ("element on fists, punch"), but I feel like a lot of the complaints and demands are quite literally impossible and unreasonable. And some of the complaints can be applied to other two classes as well.

I think it's good to tell Bungie that we would like more variety in supers, especially as it pertains to their viability in various content. I would 100% love for an additional super for stasis and strand and for Titans to have more ranged options because in a lot of cases you can't really get close range to enemies. Stomps, pushback, environmental hazards and other issues limit what we can use melee abilities for.

Obviously I've not played the strand stuff so I'm working with what we've been told and shown, but I think it's fairly obvious that strand IS a utility super. It's the most utility since void and overshield; strand not only gives you and your teammates damage reduction, but also controls the battlefield by suspending enemies. Like, by all accounts strand is a utility subclass with a lot of debuffing and buffing options and movement utilities.

I also think it's reductive to say that the new strand super is just "gorilla." It really isn't. I am not aware of gorillas being able to control the battlefield by suspending enemies in the air and locking down a whole section while empowering allies with damage reduction utilities. And being able to control the battlefield and empower your allies while you plan out your attack and dish out damage is, quite literally, a tactician move.

I think both Behemoth and Berserker are much closer to the front-line tactician fantasy since void. If anything is "gorilla" it's Fists of Havoc. A lot of people shit on Behemoth but if you really want utility and being able to perform multiple tasks at once with your super, Behemoth is one of the things to pick. Need to kill enemies? Got it. Need to freeze them while you deal with something else? Got it. Need to block off an area? Got it. Need to create barricades for your team? Got it. Your team needs overshield which you can give them by making stasis shards with your super? Got it. The problems with Behemoth not being used much are with a completely different section of issues, which is activity, encounter and enemy designs.

If Berserker is truly similar in any way, then it's in this this way imo, as it gives you options to use your super in different ways for different purposes depending on what you need. Like a tactician. I think people are way too focused on the idea that you use your fists and not at all focusing on the actual utility and options of the super. Though obviously if someone just isn't vibing with it, it's not something that people can change.

[myimaginarywonderland]

I think the main think that we should address about the Alpha Tauri debacle is that nothing good will come out of it and this whole thing was set up to fail from the start.

Let me explain.

No one apparently at RedBull seemed fully confident in Nyck. Most convincing seemingly came from Max putting a good word in for a friend.

Alpha Tauri was bound to be a disaster with the one constant they have leaving at the end of this year, Franz Tost, which wil be the final nail in the coffin. This team has been so consistent for many years because Franz is arguably the best team principal as he builds drivers up. Not only does he managed to get them back into a place where they are believing in themselves again but by doing this he automatically makes them better drivers because they learn while not having any pressure. He works with encouragement a lot of the time and he is one of the main reason why so many drivers got to the place where we are calling them good again. Him leaving was doubt to cause this team to recline especially because of the way they are run as a secondary RB team.

Alpha Tauri has always worked as a step ladder where they are only temporary before a driver either leaves for RedBull or leaves RedBull behind to go to the midfield.

But they at least managed to always have a driver that they could use as a secondary RedBull driver which let's be honest here is what anyone in that academy will be until Max leaves F1.

They abandoned that policy though simply because Alex and Pierre left. I think there was always some believe that Alex or Pierre will be kept there for a bit to train the younger one who will ultimately step up to Max, be there for a year or two before potentially becoming the main driver once Max leaves. But then Pierre and Alex left and they didn't have a driver to be that mentor anymore. No other driver from the current grid is a.) experienced enough for that and b.) willing to leave the team. The only three close enough would be Val (who will probably like Kimi retire at Alfa), Kevin (who is chained to Haas until the devil rips that contract up) or Nico (who at that time already probably had the talks with Haas.)

I am not discrediting Yuki or seeing he can't do it but the problem was Yuki isn't fixed. They wanted to kick him out but then saw him perform better and let him stick around which is where the problem begins.

The whole purpose is to have drivers from AT that can be pushed to RB alongside Max. Yuki has been slandered so much and threatened so often to be dropped that it would just seem weird to put him there. Add to that no guaranteed contract and especially now he would jump to any other team the second he gets because it is the smartest move.

Anyway, here's the dilemma. Yuki and Nyck are not your typical young rookie/older mentor relationship and Nyck also again was never a fixed thing in RB. The move to even sign him, knowing they will lose Yuki in a year or 2 is stupid. Rightfully they should have put a rookie who could learn under Yuki and then grow to step up once not only Franz but Yuki leave which they didn't because well.

Undoubtedly Vips was supposed to be that before shit went down.

Now there's Liam who also is in this weird limbo off many just drivers where they sort of just push F1 out of their mind. He's been doing so much other stuff that he is decent in so really, the possibility to go back to F1 was slim especially with an already signed contract.

The whole F2 drivers are all either too inexperienced or truly just don't stick out and after Yuki would they really go for some that had an average junior career again?

And anyone else is not an option with the inexperience glaring.

Now we come to the big problem.

RedBull have always had the golden boy thing. It was clear since his Monza win that Seb would be at that team. It was clear they would only win with him. Then after Seb, I truly believe Daniel was brought in as Webber replacement and place holder until they would finally shift to Verstappen who they planned to pushed probably since 2014. No driver really stood a chance between the Seb/Max transition because they weren't meant to, simple as that. Now, the interesting thing is Max bringing up retirement and no doubt running away with the next 2 or 3 titles probably. What people also tend to forget that in 2025 Max has been in the sport for 10 years. Not to mention he was as a literal teen. He was forced to grow up and be that star. Would it be really surprising if after establishing himself among the greats he would want to be somewhere else where he could win? No.

This now begs the question of who will be there next golden boy and well really this is what it ultimately boils down to.

While I do think Liam is a great driver you can't help but wonder that the reason they didn't choose him is simply because they don't think he will carry that greatness over to F1 and the lack of trust makes it obvious he isn't the next golden boy.

Apparently Enzo is a RB junior driver? Didn't know that but yeah it ain't going to be him either. Would be happy if he even got a chance at Haas for a season they will teams refuse to give rookies a chance.

Jak Crawford has a pretty unspectacular carting/racing record so there's that.

Isack Hadjar is still young but compared to most of the RB former talent pool again pretty uneventful.

Dennis Haugher looks okay but still compared to the achievements required to be golden boy probably not?

Ayumu Iwasa is apparently the most hyped? He has a good record from what I could find I guess? Stands out that he mostly switched between series so maybe that's more damaging to me.

For the little good, Formula experience he has and the regional titles he won I am surprised more people aren't considering him? To me he sticks out most from the F2 drivers but then again looking at talent pool we have had none of them truly feel like they are what RedBull saw in Max and Seb.

There also the F3 drivers of course so let's look at them. On a second thought let's not because really nothing stand out and you can barely find stuff.

For the F4 drivers you can truly not find any statistics so yeah.

Why did I make this long detour?

To show you that really RedBull doesn't have junior drivers they seem confident in or that have the promise their main stars, Seb and Max had. But even drivers like Pierre, Alex, Daniel showed overall more impressive or at least interesting records than most of the RB juniors.

In that regard getting Nyck makes sense. It doesn't make sense though considering that the possibility that Max leaves in the next 5-8 years is inevitable and there's no one they have who will stay long to carry teams leader. Perez will leave, Nyck was never supposed to be longer than maybe 2 or 3 years, Yuki probably will move to a midfield team and Alex likely will become a driver at another top team. They should have promoted a junior or even Liam up to see how they do. Give them 2-3 years at AT to see development while also getting a second junior after a year or 2 in that team so they can learn to develope as driver and team leader if they show potential.

Yet they went for Nyck, knowing the incredible shit AT is in and the unstable environment it would be + they already had no faith in him.

And before I see anyone suggesting Daniel: no. Yuki was bound to step up as team leader and supposed to try out the mentor role. That is what they wanted him to be. With Daniel that would have never worked out. + He made it very clear he wanted nothing below Alpine so of course they didn't consider him. He didn't make himself an option.

Anyway the long story short:

This entire line up was bound to fail and is undoubtedly the first of many steps that will lead to 90% of RedBull juniors being tossed aside without a chance. This is the first of many reactions to the fact that the RedBull will not promote their juniors, they will instead discard the problem and presumably get Norris once Max makes it clear that he isn't going to be racing much longer. There's no doubt in my mind none of the current RedBull juniors will never be considered an option and that the next RB golden boy will be someone of the current grid and not of the RB family.

[lyraeon]

what kind of streaming stuff do you do? i followed you back in the day for your fanfiction and i genuinely have no clue what you do now lol

Haha, yeah I kind of vanished off here for about 5 years cuz of real life stuff (jobs! gallbladders! cars! divorces! moving!) and in the mean time became a full time content creator and transcriptionist. Somehow.

I'm still technically mainly Minecraft but I'm definitely feeling that fandom negativity burnout over there so I've been doing a lot of other stuff too. So I do worldbuilding heavy stuff like Horizon: Forbidden West and literal world building stuff like Astroneer and Cities: Skylines mostly, but also puzzle-y stuff like Escape Simulator. I've been doing a playthrough of Inscryption this month. I used to do a lot more shooter-y type stuff but I got sick of Destiny and I can't personally play Overwatch with good conscience anymore :( so I'm in between games there.

So kind of... mixed bag of stuff that is on the "we're here to vibe and chat" end of things as opposed to the "showing off how good I am at games" end of things XD I'm there for the adventure, and maybe some meme strats, not for the biggest win or the fanciest build.

Which, within Minecraft itself, I'm kind of builder-adventurer in my own mind? I love to build unnecessarily accurate recreations of real things - right now I'm making a functioning Subway restaurant - and build on the diagonal far too often.

(Mind you, I'm in the middle of changing my medication so I've been hilariously inactive the last couple months, but that should be ramping back up soon. I've been doing YouTube for the last few years too, but that's on a temporary hiatus for the same reasons.)

In a lot of ways I'm an extremely different person in an extremely different place than I was a few years ago - but it's also because I was still super nebulous about who I was and what I wanted in life. So people who followed me specifically because I wrote fanfiction and were always "meh" at the social/political/mental health posts probably will want to bail, and definitely wouldn't be interested in anything I stream. Whereas people who liked my blog for the rest of it, or who followed out of generally enjoying my writing as writing and wanting to see the thoughts and opinions of the person behind it, will probably enjoy sticking around and also might enjoy my gaming content.

My fanfic days are past me. Not in a "it's something for the youths" or an "I'm embarrassed by them" way, but because I'm now someone who has a fandom and receives fanart and has had fanfic written about their character, which I feel like makes participating very deeply in any fandom a little awkward now. It's just very, "it's not my place", y'know? Plus it's just not something I have the spoons or energy to put into - my creativity has been honed in other directions, and while writing is still one of them, I'm primarily writing worldbuilding and speculative evolution type things right now. My typing speed instead goes into captioning YouTube videos and transcribing old scanned documents on a freelance basis (I don't like being a starving artist lol). And the rest of my creativity is off in all the video editing and Minecraft builds, lol.

(In retrospect, maybe I should just have started a new blog... but I really liked my Dashboard and figured I'd rather pare down the things that no longer suited me from that than try to rebuild from scratch XD)

Thanks for having been around so long, and no worries if this place isn't for you anymore. Times, tastes, and people all change! Take care of yourself <3

[recoverywithgh0ul]

Hey there! Ghoul here, welcome back to a what to annooother what I eat in a day~ Coming up on day 4 now (day 3 for instagram users), from now on I’m just going to refer to the total of days I’ve started this to make things easier lol. So far today has been pretty good, have a lot of plans, and I’m going to be very productive in terms of recipe planning and trying stuff out, so stay tuned~ also any inspiration I take from other recipes, I’ll link the OG one so, you guys can check it out. Without further a-due, lets get into the meals from the day. :>

(Also as usual a disclaimer, what I eat, is not a reflection of what you should be eating for you, of course you can take inspiration. Though at the end of the day, you should listen to your body, and fuel it with what it needs to thrive, keep going, you got this, choose recovery <3)

Breakfast~

For breakfast it was pretty straightforward and simple, I had half a breakfast sandwich, air fried potatoes, and apple slices~

(Breakfast was very good, and i was very excited for it. This made me realize, i don’t hate food, i actually really enjoy it- I’m just terrified of it and how out of control i get around it. But as long as i treat it as fuel and something to nourish my body and not emotional support. Everything will be okay <3)

Snack~

For a snack I just had four apple slices,,( I personally wasn’t very mentally hungry, but my body was physically hungry)

Lunch~

Rest of chili oil soup, 2 frozen taquitos, and green beans topped with honey and spicy garlic sauce, I also had a side of avocado~

(Lunch wasn’t the most mentally satisfying, but other than that it was good~)

Snack~

Avocado toast with tomato and sweet bell pepper, drizzled with honey and spicy garlic sauce

(Honestly so good 10/10 and a bit of a comfort meal, without turning to something like chips that would trigger a binge. Knowing your triggers can be so beneficial, especially when you’re in high stress situations/lh)

Dinner~

A repeat meal of yesterday too finish off leftovers, just adding the picture from yesterday as well~ spaghetti and meatballs with a side of BBQ broccoli and Brussels sprouts, i also had a few chips because i was craving them

Snack~

So for a night snack, i had a mini doughnut and a spoonful of PB and some frozen blueberries

(Tonight ended with not the best thought’s the feeling of being perceived honestly wasn’t the best, so there was a lot of shame around the fact that i was hungry, or was going back to the kitchen, etc. And unfortunately it just ended with me hardcore judging myself, but I’m gently trying to remind myself, I’m allowed to eat, and the fact that i might be having another meal or dessert, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me. I was originally not going to get a picture because shame, but I’m going to prove to myself it’s okay, because it is. Stay strong, love yourself~ you deserve it <3)

Drinks~

Iced coffee

Water throughout the day(that I spilled like twice today rip :/ )

Low carb energy drink(not for diet, just for the taste)

Aloe Vera pineapple juice

As another what I eat in a day comes to a close, I’m realizing that no matter how anxious, or stressed I might feel, no matter how much food I consume- it’s not fixing anything. I’t a temporary fix, and eventually I’ll have to face the problem again. And the after affects and shame isn’t worth the temporary relief. It can be scary opening up to people or loved ones, but utilizing a support can be so vital in times like this, or just utilizing a good hobby. I know some days may feel harder than others, the beginning is always the hardest, but sticking with it, and choosing yourself will eventually come full circle and you will be able to look at your growth and feel proud. <3 Don’t give up, choose recovery, choose yourselves, until tomorrow~

[undeadorion-archive]

This is something that I probably should have said publicly years ago. It's now too late to matter to anyone but myself, but I need it to be public. About what happened between me and my ex, Genue. I don't know what her current usernames are, and I only partially remember her old one (heart broken something or other).

Gen and I met through a friend-of-a-friend chain after a friend and I ended up an RP group at the peak of Avengers fandom. I adored Gen's art, but didn't have a lot of contact with her at first. She wasn't quite Big Name Fan levels of popularity, but she was pretty high up there, so I was afraid to even speak to her at first. But eventually we ended up talking and hit it off really well.

This was around like 2013 maybe. I was quite possibly at my lowest around then, so all it took to win me over was the smallest amount of positive attention. I had zero confidence, and maximum anxiety. I was at the heaviest I've ever been and was well into a developing binge eating disorder. I was desperately trying to find work as a comic colorist after being screwed over by a terrible publisher. I was not in a good place.

So even though I'm primarily interested in men, when someone I admired wanted a relationship with me, I was so overwhelmed I agreed to explore it. And that was my first mistake. There were redflags galore, including how her family treated me, but I ignored them.

She coerced me into sexual activities over voice calls. I didn't want to do it at first, but she kept pushing. So I agreed. I never discussed that with her, though. I was very much in people pleaser mode and wanted her to keep liking me. So I didn't want to tell her no in any way.

When she came to visit, she wanted to get immediately to the sex. Which felt really fucking weird. I picked her up at the airport. And when we barely but our luggage down at the hotel, she wanted to get into the shower together. It was a lot.

But this isn't just about being pressured into sex.

Eventually we moved in together. Or rather she moved out of her parents house in California to live with me in Portland. At first things were good, even if she wanted to do things I was either incapable of or didn't want to do.

The biggest sticking point was the initial arrangement of our desks in the living room. It was summer, so I took a spot near the window to be cooler and she took the opposite corner. But that was a problem come winter, because the heater was on the wall behind me, and she was against the furthest wall. Too much heat makes me sick and she insisted being too cold makes her sick. But for some reason she absolutely refused to allow anything to be rearranged. Now I know the heat doesn't just make me sick, it gives me asthma attacks.

The rent, bills and expenses were another issue. I was barely scraping by on commission and comic work. I'd tell her how much we each needed to contribute that month. Every single month she came up short, wouldn't tell me until the last minute and just think it would be okay to not pay the rest. When our electricity got shut off due to being so far behind she got pissed at me because she insisted I didn't tell her how bad it was. Despite telling her every month how far behind we were and how much we needed to catch up.

Once I even put a chart on the fridge about how much everyone owed every month. Her and the other roommates insisted it was "unfair" because it showed I was paying more. Even though it was the amounts we agreed on.

But it wasn't just interpersonal stuff. I found out after we already lived together that she was deeply into shipping Thor and Loki. Specifically adult Thor and Kid Loki. She admitted that a tumblr account she'd had before I met her was banned from tumblr for drawing underaged smut.

Then there was the suspected scamming. She insisted that she was locked out of her paypal account so she had to use mine. I agreed because I thought it was a temporary thing until she got hers fixed. She never fixed it. She claimed it was because of an address mis-match, which isn't something I've ever encountered, but should be easily fixable with a phone call or email with documentation. It didn't bother me too much, because the money she got went into my account so I could use it directly to pay bills or buy groceries. That is, until I started getting emails. Someone saying they hadn't heard back from Gen despite trying to contact her many times. They paid for a commission months before. Every time I'd ask her, she'd insist she never received an email from them. If it was just once, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But there was more than one. And every single time, it was the same story. Ghosted after paying for a commission, oops emails were lost.

Quite some time after we broke up, a person I sort of knew had tried to file a complaint through paypal, but it was like 6 months too late. The egregious amount of time had me very suspicious of what was happening so I contacted the person. If I'd had the funds myself, I would have gladly refunded them. And their story was the same as the others. Paid for a large commission, then got ghosted. They'd tried messaging and contacting Gen every possible way and never got a response. So I tweeted at her to fix it because it wasn't my issue to handle. I didn't accuse her of anything, I just said "this person contacted me with this issue about your commission." And she was PISSED that I hadn't contacted her privately. Well, if your email keeps losing emails, how can I trust that route?

At one point, she started to demand that I eat more healthy. My habits were awful at the time, but she just kept saying "eat better" and offered no help. I'd ask her what I should do, and she had nothing to offer. When I asked what I should get at the store, she just said she wanted pistachio ice cream. Never anything healthy.

Oh. The groceries. Even when I had to get a full time jobs just to keep the lights on, I was the one always doing the shopping. We didn't have a car, so I'd have to walk there and back. I'd often steal a cart and take it back the next day. She never offered to stop at the store on her way home from somewhere. She never went on her own. She wouldn't even go with me. One day it was snowing pretty hard and I got my period (this was before I transitioned). The cramps were so bad I felt ill. And she refused to go get me pads because it was too cold outside. So I was left to trudge through the snow, in pain. Cold and movement made the pain worse, too. But if she had so much as the sniffles, she'd put on the baby voice and ask me to get her treats from the store.

The only thing I asked of her was that she helped me carry the groceries in when I got home. Specifically that she keep her phone nearby while I was gone so I could text her when I was at the bottom of the stairs, so I wouldn't have to risk leaving a cart full of groceries in the parking lot while I ran up to get her. All while a single flight of stairs was enough to launch me into a full asthma attack. And needing to do that multiple times. But she acted like I was making an unreasonable demand of her to watch for a text.

She'd get super irritated over cultural differences and act like I was forcing mine on her. She wanted me to watch some soccer game where the announcers spoke exclusively Spanish. I don't speak Spanish, I have negative interest in sports, and I was trying to get work done. She wanted to do holiday activities that required either large numbers of people or highly specific details that I didn't know how to do. I told her we could do them but she'd have to be the one to put it together or teach me what to do. And that was a bad thing on my part some how. Or me simply not liking certain foods she put together. Like a salad that was just bananas, canned beets, and peanuts. I don't like beets and I couldn't eat peanuts at the time because of my bad teeth. I asked her to show me how to make tamales and she said it was too complicated and I'd never be able to learn. Years later, I taught myself how to fold and wrap them in about 10 minutes.

Her mom made and sold these flower gel things and she wanted to do them here and sell them at a local market. So I said "okay, but you have to tell me what you need and teach me how to do it." I even looked into what we needed to get a booth. And she acted like I wasn't doing enough and it was my fault we never did it. Mind you, she never told me even the supplies she'd need let alone how to do it.

Then there's her mother. Oh lord. One day her mom was visiting and they picked me up after a full day of work to go to Ikea, which was nearly an hour's drive away. I was already fighting fatigue and asthma on a good day, and now I was exhausted on top of it. I needed to stop to take a break because I felt like I was going to pass out. So when I sat down, her mother lectured me, and basically called me lazy. Because of how much she'd achieved in her life. Something about being a gymnast and breaking bones and all of the jobs she had. And it was somehow a moral failing on my part I couldn't keep up with her.

One of the moments that made me realize that there was a narrative on Gen's part that I was completely unaware of was when I got that job. Despite my not asking for it, she insisted on making a huge batch of tamales for me to take in for my lunch every day. But she was making multiple kinds and stressed herself out doing it. And somewhere along the way she'd come to the conclusion that it was my fault that she was working so hard in the kitchen. While doing something I never asked her to do. Something she wouldn't let me help with. And something she refused to teach me so I could help.

But one of the most telling things is that Gen refused to leave me alone. It's why in the end I didn't push her to the shopping because then I had an excuse to leave as long as I wanted. If I got overwhelmed by something, and took my laptop into the bedroom where it was quiet, she'd immediately follow and insist on talking to me. I just wanted to sit in the quiet. I needed to be able to focus in order to get any work done. Fully shut the world out levels of focus. I told her this, frequently. It especially irritated me if someone intentionally dragged me out of that focus for things that weren't even mildly important. She'd be watching TV and wave her hands at me to say "did you see that?" or other commentary. When I wasn't watching. Or worse was stuff like "I just wanted to say hi." When I didn't have a job we were together 24/7. I only needed that focus when I was actually working. We'd spend time sitting together on the couch watching stuff together. But my need for a work schedule didn't matter to her and she refused to respect even that simple boundary.

Another weird thing is that she refused to let me do dishes or clean the kitchen. It was the most neglected part of our apartment. Like rotting vegetables in the pantry, sink overflowing with dishes level. And if I went into the kitchen with the intent to clean, she'd physically block my path (her desk was right next to the kitchen). Remember this for what happens later.

At one point, she came down with a mystery illness of fatigue and pain (something I understood quite well even then). So I told her to rest. I had a full time job at that time, so we'd be okay on money if she took some time off. But she insisted on doing a livestream where she did sketches for donations and somehow insisted I was forcing her to work while she was sick. Mind you, I was slowly grinding myself to dust just to keep us afloat. Like ending up at urgent care levels of burnout. But she was the one being forced to work while sick. When I told her specifically not to.

Then there were the friends she'd bring over. They almost unanimously hated me for reasons I couldn't identify. I now suspect Gen was talking about me behind my back, but I have nothing to prove that beyond the way these people I barely knew treated me. But these friends included people like IronSpike and BeesMyGod, who each have their own....reputations in certain circles. At first I made sure I wasn't trying to work so I could be part of the conversation. But they basically pushed me out of it. In my own home. At times it felt like I wasn't allowed to speak. Or what I said was judged as harshly as possible, and dismissed. For the longest time, I thought it was just my anxiety talking. Everything was probably fine. That is, until she brought in the infamous Audrey Redpath. Then it became very obviously not my imagination. I'd start speaking, and Audrey would interrupt me about 80%. It was maddening. I tried talking to Gen about it, and she went full gaslight and said it wasn't happening.

One of these friends also told me it wasn't possible to be abused in any fashion by someone you only knew online, and Gen took her side. The friend insisted there needed to be a physical component for the abuse to be real. Which is just flat out untrue.

Then came the actual breakup. Gen went to see her family in California for 2 weeks in August of 2015. And for the first time since she moved in, I had a nice, long, uninterrupted time alone. It was the time in which I figured out I was trans. At the time it was the most liberating thing to finally accept. Which made it a wee bit awkward when Gen came home with rather feminine gifts for me. Gifts that even in the moment were very much her style and not at all mine.

I knew that when I told her I was trans, it might take some adjustment time. But I wasn't expecting her to be disgusted. Like I tried to hold her hand and she'd rip it away levels disgusted. Then she told me she wanted to break up. I'd not felt comfortable in the relationship for a good long time, so I was okay with that. I even said I was okay continuing to live together until we figured something else out. I was even going to move my desk into my room so she could have the living room to herself (she'd brought the couch with her, and the bed was mine). And yet she had a total breakdown saying that I was somehow forcing her to move out. When was I going to be looped into that decision?

Foolishly, I tried to reason with her and talk through it. She made wild claims about things I'd supposedly done. Remember that being barred from the kitchen thing? Yeah, she said I was forcing her to be my personal maid. Remember the state of the kitchen? She insisted she spent hours every morning just to clean the kitchen because I supposedly refused to do it. I'm not the best at keeping up with dishes, but she physically wouldn't let me do them.

She cited the fact that I "refused" to eat better on her command as part of why she was breaking up with me. Remember how she never did anything to help and just insisted I do it?

When I tried to tell her most of my issues that were actually true (like me not wanting to have sex anymore) were due to dysphoria, depression and anxiety, she called me selfish. And yet she thought I'd just let her keep a phone that I was still paying for (both service and device). I didn't even ask for it immediately and told her to get her own phone plan and to return it to me when she had a replacement. I didn't make her hand it over before she left. But she painted it as me leaving her without a phone.

Though it may seem so, I don't think she dumped me because I was trans. But rather because in coming out I displayed so much more confidence. People who resort so easily to gaslighting hate confidence, because that makes it harder for their tactics to work. I can't say for sure that's what happened, as she claims her family convinced her to break up with me. But she didn't have an issue with me after she came back from her visit until I came out to her.

I'm certain she's told people out there some monstrous things about me. Told them at all the things she gaslit me on were actually true. She so badly wanted me to be a bad person, she insisted I did things that were the polar opposite of what I actually did or said. Not just to other people, but to my face. I genuinely don't know if she was doing it on purpose, or if she'd somehow convinced herself of the things she claimed. But there's no more blatant gaslighting than telling someone "Hey, it's okay. There's no rush. You can take as long as you need. You don't even have to move out" and having them respond with screaming "You're forcing me to move out!"

I unfortunately don't have any receipts for any of this. It's purely my word against hers. And even the most recent events (the post-breakup paypal incident) happened over five years ago. But finding out just how severely bad my asthma really is, and how much its impacted my life has had me thinking about everything that happened. How badly she treated me. At the time we broke up, I was too afraid to say anything. She had a lot of influence over the circles I was in, and I was pretty sure no one would believe me. Or worse, they'd come after me for speaking out. Especially since she had a lot of friends with large followings. But I'm over that. And I'm over staying quiet and playing nice.

Gen treated me like garbage and lied to people about what I did. She pressured me into sex and gaslit me for years. She possibly scammed people, using my name to do it. She was ableist and fatphobic. She dragged my name through the mud to the point that I likely have no hope of ever being part of the local scene of comic artists (especially webcomics).

[rosieuv]

Pride parade in August?

I went to a pride parade that was in the city centre because I'm in a youth club that was part of it. I had to wake up earlier than usual to get ready in time. Mum and I took the bus over there as it's a nightmare trying to park there, especially if there's a parade blocking the roads. We were 45 minutes early so we went to a nearby Starbucks and she had a coffee and I had a cookie. It's chocolate felt cheap. I looked through deltarune wallpapers on my phone to pass the time.

She dropped me off at this Quaker community hall, which was where my youth club was getting ready. There were matching T-shirts, tutus, face paint, temporary tattoos, other stuff. I just put the T-shirt on and sat down to listen to the cheesy pop music that was being played. I'm not the kind of person who would wear rainbow makeup and have ridiculous accessories as I'm what I call "the subtle gay". Others had these massive 6" flags that they used as capes that I thought looked really cool.

Eventually we left to go to the place where you get these wristbands in a big envelope that tells you what post you should be at. Ours was in a random alleyway. It was interesting looking at the floats while walking past. itv had this unicorn float. I can't find a picture of it so just take my word for it. I don't know how long exactly we waited there for. I spent most of that time either sitting on the floor listening to cheesy pop music or standing with a 2 metre pole with the rainbow flag on listening to cheesy pop music. Someone was in a unicorn suit and the group behind us had someone in a pikachu suit and they had a battle at some point and everybody started to cheer. The unicorn won. That other group also had balloons on sticks that spelt out their group name but they were never in order. They also had people wearing tents like some kind of weird costume. We just had people with placards and me waving the massive flag that kept getting in people's faces.

After a while we could finally get out of the alleyway and get to our point of the parade. We were behind this youth club that had a really cool looking float and someone was waving a flag out of the roof the entire time, and I wondered how their arms weren't aching by then. I spent most of my time lifting that flag up and switching it between my hands so they wouldn't ache as much. We had to stop multiple times to let trams get passed so I would lower the flag so my arms didn't ache as much. Halfway it started to rain. I was fine as I had my coat hood and my hoodie hood (unlike some others, who had to wear these crappy plastic ponchos). The flag got soaked and wouldn't flow in the wind anymore: it twisted together and dragged on the floor because it got really heavy. It looked kinda depressing seeing the flag like that but the audience still cheered. It was so god damn loud the entire time. There was the music from our speaker, the music from the group in front of us' speaker and the group behind us' speaker. You would hear Barbie girl at the same time as YMCA and I tried to do it with the flag pole in my hand without whacking someone. Eventually we got to the end and I handed back the flag.

I was part of the small group of people that were getting picked up at the Quaker place. We had to walk back over there but the parade was blocking our path, so with a bit of detouring we managed to get there. Cheesy pop music was still playing while we were walking back. I waited there for almost an hour. Mum was watching the parade and couldn't hear her phone ringing over the noise of it. I had to wait until the parade ended at almost 3 o clock. It went way longer than expected. Anyway mum and I walked around to find a place to get lunch and yeah that's it.

Majority of the shops had pride stuff in their windows. There was also a lot of brands in the parade. Mum counted 220 floats and a lot of them were just random brands saying things like "all are welcome" and "we support LGBTQ+" you know that kind of stuff. There was this paint brand one where they had images of paint cans but with the flags on and they had fancy paint names too. Again I can't find an image so just take my word for it.