#like a fifty-fifty

[0lekingcole]

Art of every outfit creature wore! (Nearly)

I feel like I can never decide how I want him to look but I love how the face turned out in the pajamas/milk one

[mccromy]

The Shen Jiu & Shen Yuan dynamic I need to see more of is Shen Jiu coming to see Shen Yuan as a father figure, perhaps even a mother figure. And not in the way you think.

We are always talking about Shen Yuan's wife beam, but we don't talk about his mommy beam. I think Shen Jiu could resist the wife beam if subjected to it, but I don't believe he has any defense against the mommy beam. Now, I'm not talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating earlier than canon, meeting a child Shen Jiu and adopting him.

I'm talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating after Shen Jiu has already taken over Qing Jin peak. I'm talking about 21 year old Shen Yuan transmigrating into the body of a nameless rogue cultivator, meeting fully grown man already in his thirties Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu, and hitting him with his mommy/daddy-issuesinator and causing him a life threatening Qi deviation.

Shen Qingqiu can't help but trust him, and eventually looks up to him, sees him as a wise elder he seeks out for advice. He fucking hates it but he can't help himself. This homeless man he met in the forest is the closest thing he's ever had to a father. Also. He sort of wants Shen Yuan to breastfeed him in a, and he means this, non sexual way and he can't cope with that. He would just feel so safe!!

Shen Yuan, 21 years old, rogue cultivator, first time transmigrator and the father who stepped up, thinks he befriended the scum villain, and maybe? He can be a good influence on him? Be a good friend and guide him towards a fully limbed future. He's practically raising him but nobody tell him that.

Shen Jiu lost his childhood to slavery and his teenage years to violent madmen. and now he's behaving in ways he doesn't understand. He once lost sight of Shen Yuan in the town's market, ran towards a man who looked exactly like Shen Yuan from behind, and almost had a panic attack when the man turned out to be a stranger. It's all good because Shen Yuan found him before he started swinging Xiu Ya ("Have you seen my friend? He's this tall, clearly traumatized, but we haven't had the talk")

People think they're lovers at some point because Shen Jiu is quite possessive of Shen Yuan's attention, but everybody realizes that there's something way more innocent, and also weirder, and worse, going on between them when Shen Yuan drags Shen Qingqiu by the hand to apologize to the sect leader for being so rude when poor A-Yue is trying his best, and stands there with arms crossed, eyebrows raised, until Shen Qingqiu mumbles an apology, glances at Shen Yuan, and runs away.

"I'm sorry about that, Sect Leader Yue, he's had a bad day. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Yue Qingyuan, someone who did actually sort of raise Shen Qingqiu, who's stood in Shen Yuan's shoes before, extracting reluctant apologies from a sullen Shen Jiu, to authority figures so he wouldn't get in trouble, is overcome by an intense, never before experienced wave of jealousy, so sudden it makes him spit vinegar flavored blood.

Then, a panicked Shen Yuan accidentally hits him with the mommy beam by accidentally adopting him (trying to befriend this guy who clearly needs a friend he can confide in!). And now he's placed himself in the young step-mom role who's desperately trying to bond with her new husband's teenage children but they're wired to not like her! (He used those exact words when explaining to Shang Qinghua where that new tension he has with the Sect Leader came from)

Liu Qingge is afraid of him. Maybe. He runs away when their eyes meet but he keeps leaving dead things at his feet so like, he's probably threatening him? He feels intimidated by him? Or something?

(Liu Qingge thinks Shen Qingqiu's older brother is so cool and really wants to hang out with him, but if Shen Yuan calls him Didi one more time Liu Qingge's barely held back "Yes, Gege?" Is going to jump out of his mouth and he WILL Qi deviate and EXPLODE)

When Binghe enters the equation shit gets a lot weirder.

First, he believes Shen Yuan to be Shen Qingqiu's neglected spouse (Shizun keeps leaving his poor wife alone when he goes out on night hunts and to visit brothels! Shen Yuan has needs!! He should be with someone who cherished him!! Someone who would treat him as he deserves to be treated, someone who'd wait hand and foot on him!!!) needless to say, Luo Binghe's teenage fantasies take on an even more illicit turn than in canon (it goes from "STERN TEACHER POUNDED BY STUDENT AT BAIZHAN TRAINING GROUNDS" to "NEGLECTED WIFE CHEATS WITH STUDENT ON HUSBAND'S BED!! IMPREGNATED WHILE HUSBAND IS AWAY")

Luo Binghe, of course, does his best to seduce him, but ends up being coddled and cuddled.

"it's like I'm his handmaiden, his shadow, the only witness to my lady's heartbreak at her husband's cold regard and indiscretions. Shizun won't spare him a moment if not to discuss cultivation or business! He won't allow Shen Yuan more than a head pat! and move away from any other touch! How ungrateful! They don't even share a bed! I brush his hair, I dress him every morning, I pour him tea and he lets me rest my weary head on his lap. The intimacy we share is not sexual, but Ning-Shijie, I wish it was! I saw the outline of his dick yesterday and I need it!"

"A-Luo please stop talking."

Then, he realizes he misunderstood. Shen Yuan is a cultivator so of course he looks so young! Shen Yuan is clearly Shen Qingqiu's father. He's constantly worried for his un-filial son and remains by his side!! That explains everything!!!(LONELY DILF RIDES YOUNG MAN ON QING JING'S LIBRARY!! HE WISHES YOUNG MAN WAS HIS SON!!!!)

He goes from trying to steal Shen Qingqiu's wife to steal his father. He could be Shen Yuan's friend, lover, and son. His student. His confidant. His silly rabbit.

Shen Qingqiu KNOWS this. But nobody will fucking believe him!! The jiejies at the pavilion giggle and tell him he must be exaggerating, and when he went to Yue Qingyuan so he could intervene and fix it, Yue Qi just looked at him dead eyed and said to "Let him." !!! Let him what?? Deflower our father Qi-Ge??? Shame on you!! That beast is trying to break this family apart!!

But wait!!! look!!! a crack opened in the fabric of space and reality, leading directly to hell. Wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to, accidentally, drop kick this homewrecker inside it?

Luo Binghe is gone when Shen Qingqiu realizes oh wait, that was a demon mark on his forehead wasn't it. Oh good, now he has an excuse. Baba will understand.

(Baba doesn't understand. Baba acts as if he's lost his soul and won't look him in the eye. He's also growing mushrooms bodies in the garden, and added a drop of Shen Qingqiu's blood in the seeds before planting? Which is odd. but at least if he's gardening then he's not staring at that swordmound for hours on end)

I don't even know where I'm going with this

[hmura-hmara]

“You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister…you were right.”

[ladyshinga]

Being into murder mystery stories but NOT copaganda feels like playing whodunit minesweeper

[critterbitter]

The kids go fishing! (The local pokemon are very helpful if bribed with the right combination of berries.)

Masterpost for more shenanigans!

[bevirspnsblmnt]

quick everyone pretend to be shocked

[2facehusband]

hey so i need an older man to pin me against a wall and give me huge, dark hickeys i wont be able to hide in the morning. like grind your cock against my thigh and murmur about how small i am compared to you, how you'd split me in half if you fucked me. talk down to me, tell me im too pretty and dumb to be anything but a hole for you to use. you're too young to know what's good for you, honey, so let me take care of you, hm?

[morganbritton132]

Eddie post a Tiktok where it’s very clear that he had to scramble to start filming. He pans the camera back and forth between Steve and Dustin as they just stare at each other.

Dustin finally says: …What??

Steve: I said, the bat is in the closet.

Dustin: I asked if you had any protection I could borrow

Steve, like duh: Yeah, I know. That’s why I said the bat is in the closet.

Dustin: Stop saying that! That’s not what I’m ask-

Steve: Stop asking the same question! I have the bat. It’s in the closet. What-

Dustin: Condoms, Steve! I have a date tonight and I was asking if you had condoms.

Steve:

Steve: Borrow???

Eddie: A+ conversation, guys.

[foundfamilynonsense]

Mace Windu said fuck the rules fuck the law fuck tradition the Chancellor is a Sith Lord and has made himself an emperor and I’m not going to sit by and let it happen.

Mace Windu said if I do nothing I’d be betraying the democracy I thought I was fighting for this whole time, which means more than the crimes I’ll be charged with when this is over.

And yet people try to praise Anakin or Dooku for “leaving a corrupt system”. As if that was why Anakin left. As if Dooku did anything but make it worse. People praise the Mandalorians for only following their own rules. As if we’ve ever seen the Mandalorians truly stand for anything.

As if we don’t already have the most metal anti-authoritarian, badass character for people to praise.

And yet these parts of the fandom hate him. I wonder why 🤔

[dykewithamashobsession]

Someone's probably already posted it before, but here is Alan Alda doing a cartwheel at the 1979 Emmys.

[fuckmeyer]

love the idea that the Volturi collect newspapers from all over the world so they can watch out for rogue vamps. bc they're not out there doing that shit. really, some poor intern/human-wannabe-vamp is just running around sifting through the daily papers like an editorial assistant working the slush pile at a trad publishing company. underpaid, overworked, crying on lunch breaks, chugging cold burnt coffee, desperately trying & failing to unionize, etc.

[posts-from-2520ad]

there's literally gonna be a new taylor swift album im so excited it's been like six years

(if you are one of the gatekeeping weirdos who only counts the albums taylor released during her lifetime as "real ts" this post is not for you, let people be excited, the machine was literally trained not just on her music but on her brainwaves so there is literally no discernible difference)

[fizpup]

valentine, you're a horse ❤️

[navree]

Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.

Kamala 2024!

If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.

But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.

[spencer-is-dead]

For those who haven’t noticed, this comic was born or out my hypefixation over a version of Madoka I call Moldoka, which happened after a conversation with my friend. This is mostly a crack fic, considering how stupid the premise is. I won’t really be paying attention to the canon Walpurgis no Kaiten has presented because its not out yet, and im the artist and I can do what I want :)

I’ll try to update this at least once a week, maybe on Saturdays lol, I’ll figure out a schedule.

hope you enjoy this stupid au

UPDATE: you can read the first part of chapter 1 here

[snallyghaster]

survivor my beloved <3