#like YES GIRL KILL THAT BITCH WITH A SHOTGUN. HE DESERVED IT

[ichikalvr]

she is so my type

(art creds at start ^^)

[taechaos]

can u do more of jealous jk drabbles?👉👈

this one kinda cute but theres smut 😃

The best time of the day is when the sun is just over the horizon, taking on a blue and orange hue in the sky, not shining bright enough to blind or give a heat stroke to the crowd in the amusement park. Just enough illumination to not have to rely on the lights provided from the ferris wheel, neon titles above the rides and games you stand before.

You can't contain your squeal and shake your interlocked hands with Jungkook while bouncing on your feet, the three companies you came with much more casual about the occasion. "Where should we go first?!"

Your boyfriend shrugs, Soyeon glances at Taehyung who makes the decision: "Rollercoaster." He has a crazed grin on his face, the sparkle and mischief in his eyes matching yours. Both of you are extremely fond of these thrillers.

"A rollercoaster...? I'll wait for you guys," Soyeon sheepishly holds her nape with a smile. You coo at her.

Jungkook scoffs arrogantly, "Are you afraid too, baby? You can hold onto my arm."

You blow raspberries and clutch onto your friend's arm, "I love rollercoasters." You and Soyeon gaze into each other's eyes as you say, "Don't worry. It'll be fun if you come with me."

She blushes, Taehyung and Jungkook watching the interaction with quirked brows. How boy-friendly of you.

The seats were decided. You all bought the tickets, and it's your turn to hop on the carts. Girls sit in front of the boys, and Soyeon hesitantly places her hand on top of yours on the railing. Taehyung wraps his hands around Jungkook's arm, who is slouching in his seat with a frown.

"I'm so scared, Jungkookie," Taehyung's teeth chatter, "w-will you protect me?"

All the carts are secured as the ride slowly moves forward, slightly creaking as Jungkook groans, "Let go of my fucking arm!" Despite his relentless shaking, his best friend only holds on tighter.

"Why? Your girlfriend is having a sexual awakening with her buddy girl, why can't we?!"

Jungkook gapes at him, brows meeting in perplexity before he looks at the row across. The two of you have your heads leaning on each other, and no, that was the romantic scene he was supposed to have with you, not Taehyung who snuggles into him in whimsical fear.

"She's straight," he counters weakly, not even caring about his numbing arm from the sight before him.

The carts reach the peak of the tracks, a sense of adrenaline stirring in everyone's stomach and you squeeze Soyeon's hand comfortingly seconds before Taehyung's scream torments the whole population's ears. Needless to say, Jungkook had it the worst.

—————

Your boyfriend winces with a finger in his left ear as he follows the group with Taehyung next to him, behind you and Soyeon.

"Remind me to never go on a rollercoaster with you," he seethes intimidatingly, emitting a snort from the guilty.

"Ooh, bumper cars!" Taehyung childishly points at the competitive game. Jungkook smiles wickedly, "I'm going to give you a fucking concussi–"

"Boys against girls!" Soyeon chirps, and you gasp at the amazing idea.

"Yes! That'd be so fun!"

Upon seeing Jungkook's incredulous face, Taehyung bursts out in laugher and clutches his stomach, tearing up when he instantly goes in denial mode.

Which didn't help, because Soyeon stole you for herself once more and he is stuck with the dumbest person he's ever met once more.

"Let's beat those bitches."

"That's my girlfriend, Tae."

Those words were thrown out the window the moment the game began, because he became ruthless. Even Taehyung was getting nauseous from how violently the car was bumping against yours, the one Soyeon claimed shotgun in, rocking your bodies back and forth. It's revenge for not giving him the attention he rightfully deserves, and leaving him with who was supposed to be a fourth wheel.

No mercy, you must suffer.

When you all got off the ride, Taehyung couldn't stop stumbling all over the place.

"I'm going to throw up," he groans and pinches Jungkook's shirt.

"That settles it: I won," he shrugs triumphantly. Soyeon is quick to bite back, "You almost killed us."

"Oh no," you jump to his defence with a giggle, "he's just very competitive."

Your boyfriend smiles at your first acknowledgement of his existence, relieved as he throws an arm around you. "I'm not about to lose to a bunch of–"

"Please don't finish that sentence," you smile at him; sickly sweet with your warning.

He forces a chuckle, "–a bunch of strong, independent women."

—————

"You ever seen lesbian porn, Jungkook?" Taehyung asks as he licks up a fat stripe on his ice cream. Jungkook doesn't bother responding. "It usually begins with one girl being all shy and reluctant until the sexual tension becomes too much. Say they're studying, gossipping, whatever, the normal stuff. Then... one of them makes the first move, and the other eventually gets into it." He glances at his friend to measure his reaction; nonchalant and barely listening. "Oh, but I have a boyfriend, oh this is wrong, oh friends don't do this," he imitates in a higher pitch. "Then they fuck."

"Do you ever stop talking?" he asks, flabbergasted and annoyed. He's holding onto your ice cream after you left to the bathroom with your friend, Taehyung protecting hers and licking the melted drops to keep the cone clean. What Soyeon doesn't know won't hurt her; the flavor is too good for him to waste.

"I'm just saying man, you never know with these girls," his cheeks puff out as he suppresses a laugh. Jungkook's paranoia is easy to mess with, and he knows he shouldn't do it so often, but it's just so fun. A snort slips.

"They've been roommates for two years, I'm sure if she was bisexual, she'd know by now," he spits defensively.

"Oh my God, do you think they got drunk and kiss–"

"We're back!" you announce and take your cone from Jungkook's hand, your friend doing the same.

"Welcome back, baby," he stands up to hug you, effectively pulling you a few steps away from Soyeon with a glare. You relish in it with joy, mushing your face against his chest.

"What should we go on next?" Taehyung casually cuts into your display of affection.

"The ferris wheel, maybe? Oh, Soyeon, you have–" you point at the corner of your lip, and she mirrors the opposite side, prompting you to reach out a hand and wipe off the stain with your thumb. Jungkook blinks in astonishment. Taehyung's eyes widen to saucers as he watches his soul leave his body. His words are getting to him.

Your hand is snatched away in a flash, and you're dragged away back to the stalls where he corners you, answering your unspoken question: "Hey, just wanted to privately ask you how your date is going with Soy milk." His voice drips with sarcasm, the attitude catching you off guard.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, I feel like I'm third wheeling in front of my own girlfriend," he scowls, and your heart drops. "You haven't done a single thing with me today. I thought we came here to spend time with each other, yet we've done anything but. Be honest, are you..." he gulps and averts his gaze, "is there something going on...?"

"Jungkook," you startle and place a hand on his chest, "it's nothing like that. Of course I wanted to spend time with you, but Soyeon's been trying really hard to mend our friendship so I thought I would reciprocate. I didn't want things to be awkward between us, but I didn't realize I was neglecting you. I'm really sorry, love."

Your explanation endears him, shoulders slouching in relief just before he murmurs, "But in lesbian porn..."

"Oh my God," you exclaim in disbelief with a laugh, "I just hung out with her."

"You know I get needy!" he frowns with flushed cheeks. "That bitch wouldn't let go of you for one goddamned second, if I didn't know better I would've dragged you away a lot sooner."

You coo at him and squeeze his cheeks before he shakes you off grumpily. "I was going to go on the ferris wheel to make it up to you."

"Oh wow," he rolls his eyes, "can't believe you found the time to think about me."

"So jealous," you tease.

"Shut up," he pushes your forehead with his finger, "before I try to mend my friendship with Soy milk as well."

"She is not your friend," you glare at him with hooded eyes.

"So jealous."

—————

"The ride is five minutes long," Jungkook blurts out of thin air the moment you step into the moving cabin. "And we're going to stop at the top." At your gasp, he continues as he takes a seat, "Yeah, I did that movie cliché and paid extra."

"Jungkook," you coo with doe eyes and lay your head on his shoulder, "that's so romantic."

"Hey, don't get all cute. You said you were going to make it up to me." He tilts your chin, "How far are you willing to go?"

His question doesn't throw you off, and you chuckle, "Whatever you want."

"Yeah? Your time is running out," he looks past the window to see how high up you are. Four meters off the ground, give or take. "You think you can make me cum before we get off?"

Oh. "Better choose fast–"

You fondle with the buckle of his belt and make quick work of your hands to pull down his black jeans that hug his thighs. You lick your lips for moisture, and after what some experiences have thought you, you know to spit in your hand before wrapping your fingers around him.

"Damn, you didn't come here to play," he releases a humored breath as he watches you get him off. As if the limited time isn't bad enough, you have to get him erect in remarkable speed as well. He shifts slightly with a deep sigh, and when his cock starts to grow, you get on your knees before him and take the head of his length in your mouth. He sucks his teeth and weaves his fingers through your hair as he closes his eyes. Thirteen meters off the ground.

Mindful of your pace, you ease his length inside by taking him inch by inch, swirling your tongue the way he likes it and bobbing your head. His grip on your hair tightens as a low grunt resounds in the cabin. "You're doing so well," he looks down at you with half hooded eyes, lustful in their gaze, "you want to make it up to me that bad? Want to please me? Gosh," he sighs.

You deepthroat him with your hand covering what you can't reach until he thrusts into your mouth. You gag in reflex, and he uses your hair as leverage to do the rest for you. It's sloppy now, and saliva drools from the corner of your mouth with welling tears. You can only hope he reaches climax in time. Twenty two feet off the ground.

When his thrusts begin to slow down, you take it as your cue to pull away and jerk him off, your tongue taking care of the tip as his breaths grow more and more shallow. You assume he's holding back moans as to not attract any attention to your cabin. Thirty one meters. You make it a challenge for yourself to make him cum by the timr you reach the peak.

"Ah, go faster," he furrows his brows, face twisting in pleasure as he leans back on his seat. Your scalp starts to sting from his strong grasp.

Your hand listens, and you suck harder on the head while teasing the slit, and he gasps louder each passing second. He's panting while forty three feet off the ground, and a few moments later, his hips lift off the seat as he groans, his release on your tongue that you swallow. It comes in stutters, so you keep your mouth on him until you've swallowed every drop to avoid getting banned from the amusement park. Calling it simply taboo is an underestimatement.

"Shit, shit," he breathlessly says and thrusts into your mouth two last times before pulling out, a string of saliva still attached to your mouth. The ferris wheel stops. "You were fucking perfect, baby," he murmurs and his head goes limp, eyes dazed from the climax. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and smile despite the ache in your jaw.

"Thank you," you squeak and sit next to him. His head rolls to you. "Is my face okay?"

"Oh, you wore lipstick," he laughs quietly and uses the hem of his matching black shirt to clean up the smudge, his stomach on display from the action. You sit still as he fixes up your appearance, brushing your disheveled hair with his fingers, and just to be extra, he adjusts your collar, making you giggle and roll your eyes. "Like nothing happened. I'll eat you out at my dorm to return the favor."

You blush in surprise at his words, but he dismisses it by looking at the view. The sun has set, and all the lights sparkle from under you and the midnight black sky. It's beautiful. You admire it with him.

"I can't believe I paid extra for this. There's not even fireworks."

BONUS:

Soyeon and Taehyung sit across from each other without averting their gaze from the sky, effectively ignoring the presence of one another until he breaks the silence. "This is so romantic."

"Yeah."

"If we were a couple, this would be the perfect moment to kiss."

"Um... I guess," she shrugs off his unusual flirting.

"You want to be a couple for this ride?" he suggests and looks at her with wiggling brows.

She doesn't return the stare, softly speaking, "No, I think I'd rather jump off."

He chuckles under his breath, "Jungkook is going to have a field day when he finds out you're lesbian."

"Huh?"

"I said why don't you jump on this dick."

[fireheartwraith]

So, I decided to watch Fate: The Winx Saga after some deliberation (I saw the trailer and it looked cool). As I never watched the original Winx Club, I'm coming into this pretty much blind to the lore, so if you want to know what someone that doesn't have the "it's different from what I wanted" baggage thinks of the show, let's go!

Episode 1 and Episode 2

• Ooh, this is giving me flashbacks to my first day of university... Luckily Pedro is a good soul and saw me just standing there and asked me if I was a freshman (yes), if I was lost (very much so) and if I wanted help (please)

• I can tell the the show wants me to ship these two because meet cute but... I didn't think it was cute. He was kind of rude in the beginning and it wasn't *sparkles* it was small talk. My talk with Pedro was pretty much the same, except he was nicer. Being a decent person doesn't mean romantic attraction, Show, if you want me to ship this you will have to try harder

• Oh, he's the ex

• Something tells me Stella wasn't this bitchy on the original show. I am not here for the female rivalry, specially if it's because of a basic white dude

• I have never related to someone as much as I relate to Terra since I too tend to talk too much, too fast, and overshare to make up for my insecurities and anxiety. My mom is the plant gal though...

• I want a succulent!

• Bloom, who the heck talks on the phone with the speaker turned on in a room full of people you don't know???? Show wants me to believe you're an introvert when you pull this shit???

• I love Aisha

• I also love Musa

• Is a burned one kind of like a werewolf? Where if it scratches you, you turn into one? If that's the case, is there a way to get them conscious again? Like the wolfbane potion in Harry Potter

• I'm gonna pretend everyone is over 18 bacause I can't handle another Riverdale

• ........ everything changed when the fire nation attacked

• I'm sorry but you can't talk to me about the elements and expect me to not think about atla

• Being an empath in high school must suck. All that teenage angst....

• Changeling! Makes sense. My bet is that her father is the leader of the burned ones and the principal is her mom

• I get that she's missing home and normality but her mom was a bitch

• I'm glad they revealed this now and not at the end of the season, when literally everyone would know

• Stella quit being a bitch

• I expected the princess of Solaria to be a fire fairy, not an air one....

• Riven and Beatrix deserve each other

• Protect my gay baby!!

• MAGIC LESSONS

• Bloom needs to meditate and Stella needs to chill

• What kind of human parents name their child Bloom??? Aisha sounds like a human name, not fucking Bloom. I bet it's a white people thing, like Ashleigh

• Stop being mean to Aisha and Terra! They're just trying to help!

• Musa really found the one bitch in this place that doesn't have anxiety and went 👀 huh

• No! Don't use anger! Are you the only kid that never watched A:TLA?? Have you learned nothing from Zuko???

• No! Don't follow the whispery voice in the woods! That's how people get killed in horror movies!

• Oop, that's a lot of bodies

• Something tells me that burning a burned one isn't going to help

• Aisha to the rescue!

• Gross

• SO THERE IS A POTION

• Silva is a really common surname here in Brazil.... We're fairies confirmed

• Oh, they are going to pretend that Sam being Terra's brother is drama worthy huh

• Stella quit being a bitch /rt

• Yes! BOND

• huh

• That's different

Episode 3

• Have I already said that Aisha is the best??

• I still don't get what the specialists are. One the first episode Sky told Bloom "you are a fairy" as if he isn't one, and the only thing I've seen specialists do so far is fight with sticks. What are they doing in magic school?

• So, Silva can't get better until the burned one that infected him is dead? I'm pretty sure there's something like this in vampire or werewolf lore

• Is Silva Sky's dad or something?

• MAGIC LESSONS

• Don't go to the dark side Bloom! Beatrix bad!

• How many headmasters does this school have??

• Oh yeah, this dude is evil too. I forgot he existed

• Uh, do all hetero coupled do cringey shit like that?

• My mom starts talking to me about something she was thinking about as if I have the context ALL THE TIME!! We're all Terra #PowerToTheNerds

• But I'm more of a coffee addict than a tea aficionado

• Oh thank god they are using km

• RIP Silva

• Aaawww suite to the party!

• Okay but grown ups gossiping while being 100% of what the youngsters are trying to hide is my favorite trope ever

• All these pop songs are going to age the show

• Terra that was so awkward omg

• What the fuck Stella???

• How old do fairies get? Like, do they live for centuries?

• Is it bad that I discovered what shotgunning is through a smutty wolfstar fanfic? 😬

• Rosalind? Former headmistress Rosalind?

• Oop, another dead body

• Oop, Silva..... F 😔

• Bloom can't you listen to Aisha for once??? You are going to get yourself killed

• That's a sweater, not armor

• Because that's not creepy at all

• You could at least have phoned a responsible adult before running off into the forest looking for a toasted slender man

• Your suite mates don't qualify as responsible adults but it's better than nothing I guess

• Oh look, a portal to another dimension!

• Look! A responsible adult!!

• Oh, he's still alive

• Oh wait, nevermind

• Did she just Thanos him?

• Hugs!

• I still don't get what the specialists are

• My best friend in high school was adopted so I'm having flashbacks... Her birth parents got in contact after almost two decades of radio silence. It was a very difficult time for her, with lots of different and sometimes opposite emotions about the whole thing. In the end she accepted that whatever happened, happened and that the mom that raised was her real mom, no matter her faults. I hope that Bloom can get to the same conclusion

• Alright, I wasn't expecting Rosalind to be in magic cryogenic coma

• Why can't they meet? Is Rosalind evil or something?

Episode 4

• At least now Bloom is aware that her friends have their own lives and aren't they just to be her sidekicks

• Girls sticking together!

• Still don't get why Musa needs to hide her relationship with Sam.... If I was Terra I would be more upset that my friend was hiding the relationship from me than the relationship itself

• Last episode was Sky's daddy issues, so this one is Stella's mommy issues. And, of course, the whole show is about Bloom's issues (general)

• The Queen of Solaria is named Luna?? Huh

• This episode is also about snooping

• I'm going to find whoever thought hdr was good idea and force them to watch something on Netflix when the screen is so dark you can barely see what's happening

• I'm going to pretend that's a p!atd reference

• I'm going to pretend I didn't hear 2004

• Can the camera stop spinning, I'm getting dizzy

• Anakin noooo

• Rehabilitation magic?

• So Queen Kindness is not so nice after all

• I want to give Sky points for figuring it out but let's be honest here, it was not that hard

• When did they name themselves "Winx"? And what does that even mean?

• ANAKIN NO

• Good for you sky

• Yes! Tell the responsible adults!

• Push her

• So your parents were from Aster Dell

• Well they both are redheads

• Oh sweet Anakin...

• SEE???

• Silva that's shady as fuck

That's all for now! I will watch the rest, but don't know if I should make another post or just edit this one...

[princess-of-the-corner]

Fate Liveblog episode 1! Let's watch this trainwreck!

Seeing "in association with Rainbow" over this dark ass opening is sending me.

Feckin sheep. Ah fun. Mutilated sheep body. Insert Silence of the Lambs joke here.

Oh we just jump to bootleg Hogwarts right after the sheep.

Okay I'm 99% sure knife boy is Riven.

Wtf who is British McBitch? Please tell me that's not Sky.

Mansplain??? That's not... That's not mansplaining. He's saying "you look lost as fuck so if you need help ask me".

Wait is Riven British too wtf? Also boy from what I've heard you have no right to call anyone out on "perving on the forst years". Though Riven and the guy I'm assuming is Sky already have more chemistry in ten seconds than Sky and Bloom did in three minutes.

Oh god everyone's British.

Ah. Stella's a bitch now. Seriously add some more passion and her condecending remarks could fit with the original Trix. At least they kept her having a magic ring?

"We've had wings in the past but as we evolved our effects budget has been lost".

Okay. I know WoW had a Peter Pan based story, so Fate acknowledgign Tinkerbell shouldn't throw me off guard but still.

Also I can already tell they're trying to Avatar this by seperatinf the Elements instrad of just. People have Magic affiliations of all kinds.

I know the original Faragonda was already kinda bootleg Dumbledore but bootleg Faragonda is looping back into that so hard.

"Lady of the flies sweetie don't be sexist!". Honestly the corection is more sexist. Women can be lords if they want to fuck you.

Well Aisha is helpful and so far the best character but god the bar is low and I don't expect more.

"There's a fairy in my family tree. Like a long dormant magical bloodline". Or you know. You're adopted.

Wait. The "Otherworld" has Harry Potter?

Ah there's the "flora is my cousin" thing. Kinda hate how I'm identifying with Terra as the fat girl who is awkwardly rambling.

Okay Musa is also kind of s bitch. Like girl just tell Terra "hey I'm not up to talking rn".

Okay. I know they're talking about doing it with girls but goddamn do these two have some homoerotic tension. Or maybe it's just the swordfighting.

Ah yes. Riven gets high. Great.

Oh. Exposition while Riven goes off to get high. This won't end well. Wait. The Otherworld has shotguns? The teacher mentions a shotgun. Also "Burned Ones" sound like a fancy name for zombies.

Riven how did you not notice that body when you sat down. Do you have no peripheral vision??

"Let's get this cleaned before the gossip starts". Cuts immediatly to the gossip.

Aisha's bingo decapitation joke was funny. But will we learn something other than how she likes to swim?

Beatrix is dropping in all the swears. She's also giving vreepy stalker vibes.

Okay. Flashback to Bloom fighting with her mom. And you know what? For all the "I'm not like other girls" vibes, I kinda get it if your mom is calling you a weird loner to your face.

God mansplaining again. No.

Oh. Okay. The Stella and Sky thing is giving me heavy cheating and abuse vibes. Yikes.

Has Bloom... Not heard the rumors about the mutilated dead body outside the barrier? Because if so she's dumb af.

Oh. She's dumb af anyway for going to the middle of a forest to test out fire powers instead of waiting for class tomorrow where she'll have an actual teavh in case, oh I don't know, something goes wrong?

Oh hey guess what happened. Luckily your new friend is a water fairy. And she calls her out on that dumb idea!

Flashback again. Why is her mom such a bitch oh my god? Damn she kinda deserves to be punched. Maybe not set on fire but decked for real.

Oh Aisha's asking if she's adopted.

Oh no they're doing a changling plot? Really? Fuck.

Secret tunnel! Not sketch at all!

Okay Riven's being a little agressive in the flirting but honestly dude seems a little into it. Terra's kind of butting in so he's kinda right in being like "hey fuck iff" but the fat joke is a little uncalled for.

Terra fuckint snapped. Not sure he deserved to be stramgled just yet. Also the "don't be a dick to fat people" thing is a little hamfisted.

Ah. Stella's getting the "my mom is a bitch who puts expectations on me so I'm also a bitch" thing ain't she?

Ugh. Mind fairy. Why.

"i remember what happened to the last person who was talking to Sky". Dude. Did Stella kill someone? Considering what she did sending Bloom out there she might've holy shit.

Wow. They're trying to make Bloom's parents sound decent after the whole. "Weird loner" and stealijg her door thing. Wtf.

"I always knew your path wouldn't be like everyone elses". Is that why you punished her for not being head cheerleader or whatever?also can't they see her in the shadows outside the house?

This abandoned warehouse has elevtricity?

Oops. Lost the ring. Luckily everyone showed up right then.

Oh. Stella and Sky are going to be the "on again pff again but should really stay off" couple. Ugh.

"I can't sleep in a room where everyone hates me". Well maybe don't try to get a girl killed because your ex dares to talk to her.

"You're better than you think you are Stella". Are you sure about that?

Snorting the midnight adderall???

Terra's trying. Like. I still hate thst she's replacing Flora but I kinda relate man.

I like how they're having the emotional speech about the headmistress wanting to protevt her students while Dane is going through Riven's instagram and accidently liking hot pics. Also fucking "crymeariven".

Ah. Mysterious hooded fucker in the woods. Is it Beatrix? Yep. Why the fuck.

Okay that's episode one done. Took fucking forever.

I think my feelings so far is what I expected:

As an adaptation, it sucks. The characters are nothing like their original versions. The aesthetic is completely gone. So on and so forth.

But treating it as its own thing.... It's still a bit of a hot mess but the kind of hot mess I'd be all guilty pleasure about.

They seriously should've just made this it's own thing. Give the characters new names and you wouldn't be able to tell it was related to Winx Club.

[likethecatiam]

I Just Watched The Crow and Here Are the Thoughts I Had

Is this supposed to be like New York?

Devil’s Night huh

I can’t seeeee

I paid $4.28 for HD do I need glasses

Oh okay it’s better

Alright alright I see her where is He

No he’s not lying, she lives doesn’t she?

Oh nice style

Oh…

Are they the guys?

Oh, these sound effects…

Damn just. Alright

Awww he took care of her

Rise! Arise!!

Is that Nickelback???

Chaotic flashback scene

Sir, no, excuse me you cannot put on makeup/face paint and THEN a shirt that tight no what sorcery is this

Alright gettin into that real shit, I see you crow

Oh we huntiiing

Oh just fucking SWAN DIVE YES

Beat his azzzz

Baby slap

No get tf up and kill this man

Knife dodge

Knife Slap

Knife CATCH

Warehouse party

Who is this vampire lookin fuck?

Her makeup is…Bold

Girl get out of this bar

Oh that’s your mom? Damn

Ooo stole that coat, lookin spiffyyyy

God you’re so hot

Watch me heal

Shit on you is correct sir

God you’re so HOT

That’s a lot of knives

Punch him in HIS mouth fuck you “detective”

Are we burning?

Oooo one hand shotgun

Are We Burning?

Kill him, dafuq

Oh okay, leave one alive yes a messenger

Yes it isssss

WE BURNING

WE BOOMING

Kinda awkward cut to that but whatever

Nah, I like you both don’t be enemies

Oh I didn’t even notice the guitar

I like your riddles, handsome man

A hot mime from hell you mean

Fuckin Armand lookin fucker

Oh burning eyeball, fun

How do you know what order they went in??

How’d I know that was going to happen?

Oh you’re so young

I don’t even know I feel about that but it’s melancholy

I think? It’s a bittersweet emotion for sure

Piecing it together, my man?

Crow friend! I love this. I really fucking do

She’s gonna die from overdose isn’t she?

God you’re so fucking HOT

Oh you’re gonna diiieeee

Mr. Window Maaaaan

Fuck, do that thing with the light bulb again

Owie a booboo hahahaHAHAHAHAHA

Keep shooting, the same thing is gonna keep happening

Listen to his riddles!

You died from That? Bitch

Girl what’re you gonna do?

He’s telling you to be a better mother, pay attention

Oh, hey, Fucker

That’s your favourite saying, huh

Oh you’re not dead, okay

Hurry up Eric, he’s on his way and he got that gun

Oh damn, that’s a lot of needles

You can “Shh” out of my window any night

You’re very calm for-Oh. Oh so you know

Bruh this could’ve been something great, secret partnership

My preferred Batman and Commissioner Gordon

Heart to heart time~

Smoking is bad, I’m already dead so it’s fine if I do it but you don’t do it

*Fiance

Will they believe you?

Who are you? Like, actor wise. You look so fucking familiar

Yeah I don’t know who you are

Oh gross, !nc3st wtf

They are twisted, yes

Spin kill? Spin stab?

Yeah, spin stab. Oh and then shooty bang

Kitty!

Oh you’re playing the guitar I thought that was the soundtrack

I see that open window

I see that crow!

Eric buddy where you at?!

Was that green screen/edited in???

Psycho fuckers

You are very unhinged, sir

Oh hell yes

Your death

Oh passenger, okay that works too

“You hit my car”? Lmaoo

How’d I know that coffee was gonna get spilled

These streets are too tight for a car chase

Okay that line made me laugh

High speed collision!

That’s a lot of explosives

Yeah you do. Yeah you do. Yeah you did. Yeah you did! It is. It is!! He came back yes he did!

Later Fucko!

Nah, he doesn’t deserve this music

Okay but this fire crow does, crank it up!

Nobody noticed this giant un-dug grave until him??

Oh, so that’s why it’s Devil’s Night

Well, at least she’s trying, I can give her that

I was having a good day and you ruined it, Detective

Punch him in the mouth!

Where you goin, girly

If you keep this up sir I’m gonna have to start calling you Louis, you handsome handsome pyro

Kitty!! Wish my cat were that nice

Have you always had an undercut?

Is he gonna show? Is he?

I gasped. I did. I’m serious. Yes, hugs are good

Oh geez just kill him already

You look like James Franco? Maybe? Is that why I find you familiar?

Officer friend

Oh no don’t break your guitar, sweetheart noo

Oh wait who was that chick I saw for half a second on stage she was kinda hot

She looks so uncomfortable in that top and those pants

Is this your entire gang, then?

I don’t care about what you’re saying but I’m sure it’s stupid and psychotic

Hiii Eriiiccc~

Crow friend!!!

Ain’t not gentlemen here but continue

Oh shit, nice jump and sit

His face is way hotter than yours Armand-James-Franco

Kill em all

Nice slice!

Good thing he left that blade vault open

In case you have forgotten, this is Brandon Lee son of Bruce fuckin Lee he knows how to fucking fight

Have a nice fall~

Holy shit is right

Ooo that fall looked bad, you good, sweet boy?

Officer friend!!!!!

Don’t just run!

Yo, who the fuck is she????? What’s her deal? Seriously

No, sweet boy, don’t look so small, nooo I wanna give you a hug

Awww innocent children. I feel it is very unsafe for them to be out like this in Devil’s Night

Sarah don’t sleep next to graves

They’ll always be right in your heart Sarah, it’s okay

Sir, stop being this fucking cute okay

Oh shit no. No, not Sarah

SARAH!!!

Eric get the fuck up. Go save Sarah. Eric!

Oh damn that’s hot—Sorry serious time Gotta save Sarah

Not the crow!

Yeah, Aw Fuck is fucking right!

Not the fucking crow!

OFFICER FRIEND!!!!!!

Nice dive Eric

Bitch put the bird down

Yo, ACAB for sure, but this man. I don’t want this man to die

It’s okay, Eric sweetheart, we gon get your invincibility back, don’t worry

No do NOT fucking die I stfg

Lady, I don’t think that’s how that works

Yeah just watch as it gouges out her eyes, I’m genuinely okay with that

God, where is your waist

Sarah hold on sweetheart

Behind you!

NO!!!

Fuck you!

Hell yeah! That’s gruesome as fuck but I’m for it!

If both of you die and I’m gonna be so upset

If you live, fuck you, you Will live

Yeah he does that, it’s normal

Noooo I don’t want it to be overrrrr

Shelly! Oh you’re very pretty!

Damn, I kinda wanna cry now

My final review: Started off kinda rough, but by the time I was thirty minutes in I was all for it. I’m actually so upset I didn’t watch this movie sooner. Also, definitely feeling the loss of Brandon Lee. Great actor, awesome dude, truly upsetting. We could’ve had something great and it was all cut too short. I’m thinking about reading the comic, will definitely look into that. I fucking loved this movie, it was such a great time.

Once again, I will not be watching the sequels because No :D

[bear-jews-bitch]

Wilkommen

Hey! This is my first Basterds fic. It was requested as “what the Basterds think of you when you first join” but I thought it might be better if I wrote it from Donny’s perspective with bits from Aldo and Hugo. So, here you go @liebgoth I hope it doesn’t suck :/  

DONNY’S P.O.V:

Fuck. A. Duck. 

We been waiting for this broad who’s meant to be helpin’ us for three days now and we still ain’t heard any word from her. 

Three days “camping” outside on damp leaves in the freezing cold French winter. I say camping lightly because in order to camp, you gotta sleep outside. I ain’t been doin’ much of that because I’m too worried about how this broads gone and left us exposed without so much as an explanation. 

I been tryin’ to convince Aldo to move on to the next town so we can get on with what we came here to do but he insisted that we gotta wait for the girl and, “treat her like a gentleman,” when she eventually gets here. 

Apparently, she’s too important to our mission to leave behind. Or treat like one of us it seems, thanks to the Lieutenant. She better not expect me to act like no butler. She better be at least a little bit hot. 

ALDO’S P.O.V: 

I could see Donny seething from his place at the small campfire. 

This girlie was really gettin’ to him and she wasn’t even here yet. I must admit I am quite annoyed myself, this woman has left us open and ready for attack here. Not that my boys couldn’t handle it, they just shouldn’t have to right now. 

Donny had begged me to move on quite a few times during the last three days and I had half a mind to follow his pleas. But I couldn’t. Being told she was what stood between us and killing that son of a bitch Adolf was proof enough that we needed her. And when she got here she would be treated like a princess. 

If only she’d turn up. 

Pulling out my snuff box, I had just begun to sniff when I heard, rather than saw, a car in the distance. 

I closed the box and turned quickly to my men who had all congregated around the fire before hand and were now attempting to put it out with their boots. 

Quickly doing so, they took up their weapons and attempted to hide themselves behind trees. Peeking out from behind my tree, I was met with two bright headlights which belonged to a sleek German vehicle. 

Cocking my weapon and shooting a knowing glance over at Donowitz, I knew this wasn’t gon’ be good. 

HUGO’S P.O.V: 

Not many things excite me. Not many things bring me absolute joy. But a German motorcar pulling up alone to our little hideout in the middle of the night? That was one of them. 

I wanted to be the one to murder whoever the bastard was driving that car. 

I knew that our sniper rifle was sitting perched and ready for use at the top of the hill behind me, so I turned and lay on my belly, crawling up to the rifle like a proper soldier. 

Taking my place behind the gun, I curled my finger around the trigger, itching to squeeze but knowing I had to have patience. 

Deutsches schwein. German pig. 

I had gone three days without murdering any Nazi scum. That doesn’t mean none had been killed. Wicki got to kill the last patrol all by himself. It wasn’t fair. 

The sight of the car door opening pulled me from my thoughts and forced me to look through the scope on the rifle. 

Peering through, I was met with the sight of a head of flowing h/c hair and a rather revealing red dress. 

Was ist los? What is this? 

DONNY’S P.O.V: 

Hearing the creak of the car door open, I pulled my shotgun up to my chest to grip it with my other hand, ready to aim at our mystery caller. 

I turned to look at Aldo to ask for the signal to shoot but instead was met with a look of surprise laced with confusion. 

He caught my eye and winked, then proceeded to walk out from behind his tree. 

What is he doin’? 

“Miss. Y/L/N?” he asked, hands in the air in mock surrender but I knew he had a .38 stuffed in his back pocket. 

Wait... Miss Y/L/N? Is this our broad? What the hell is she doin’ in a Kraut-mobile? 

“Yes. Ja. Oui. I would continue Mr. Raine but I’m sure my answers will be heard and understood by each of your hounds lurking in the trees.” 

She is feisty. I ain’t heard her speak more than a few words and I can already tell you I’ll have trouble dealin’ with this one. 

“How you know where they were?” 

She laughed. It was such an unfamiliar sound. Female laughter. It was beautiful. 

“Well Mr. Raine, I have no doubt that you tried well and hard to hide your men from me, and you may very well have succeeded, had it not be for the giant beast of a man you have hiding the tiny tree not less than five feet away from me.” 

She was talkin’ about me! What the fuck! Giant beast? 

I quickly came out from my hiding place and was intent on giving her a taste of a Bostonian scolding when I stopped in my tracks. 

There stood this woman no more than five foot three, staring up at me expectantly. She was clad in a deep red dress that had a slit in the leg almost reaching her... Stop that Donny! 

I met her E/C eyes and couldn’t think for a moment. There was a playfulness in them. Either this woman was crazy or cheeky. Maybe both... 

Her rouge lips pulled up at the corners. She was smirkin’ at me. Maybe she thinks I’m hot... No, you moron, she’s smirkin’ ‘cause you’re standin’ there gawkin’ like an idiot! Say somethin’!

“Who you callin’ beast, doll?” I said, towering over her, tryin’ to ignore her cleavage right in my line of sight so I could focus on tryna’ be intimidating. 

She said nothing, only winked at me before turning to my Lieutenant to talk. 

Oh, I was gonna show her beast, alright. Just you wait, doll. 

“Sorry for the wait, Mr. Raine. I’m sure you and your boys are none too happy with me.” she addressed all of us, the others having emerged from their spots. You got that right, doll face. 

She sauntered over to the logs placed round the fire and sat down, the fabric at either side of the slit in her dress falling away, showing off her sculpted leg, all the way up to her thigh. Holy shit. Who has legs like that! I bet they feel like velvet... STOP! I ain’t supposed to be thinkin’ about her like that. Ain’t supposed to be thinkin’ ‘bout how her legs would feel wrapped round my head, or how she’d taste or how she’d whine as I licked her... 

Holy fuck. I’m a lost cause. 

“I hope my reasons for being so late will excuse me and bring some joy to you and your men. You see, upon arriving in France, I had planned to stay in my hotel room until it was time for us to rendezvous. But upon reaching my hotel, I was informed that my room would only be ready for my occupancy two hours after my arrival. So, I sat at the bar and enjoyed some very tasty cognac, and was met with an opportunity. A German sturmbannfuhrer, a major, approached me and was very smitten with me. I decided I could use a little fun and indulged him with the intent of eventually luring him to bed where I would, of course, murder him brutally.” 

She paused only to take a drag of the cigarette she had just lit up, eyeing me up and down. 

“The bastard was a gentleman, in his own terms. Wanted to wine and dine me before doing the dirty. Took a bit longer than expected. At one point I had to endure an hour long conversation, or rather lecture, about why the Luftwaffe are superior in every way to the RAF. I could have shot myself then and there but then you boys wouldn’t have had the pleasure of knowing me” 

I saw the Lieutenant quirk his eyebrow at me, the same level of confusion shared between us. 

“I eventually got him to take me home. Nazi prick had his pants around his ankles when I slit his throat. I raided his kitchen for supplies and brought any medicine he had with me. I left a little message for his Nazi friends too. Cut his dick off and put it in his mouth.” 

She cackled. She looked maniacal. I could see the glint in her eyes that most of us Basterds had. And in that moment, I knew I had to have her. She was amazing, fucking spectacular. 

I heard Omar gulp when she shot him a look, winking at him and settling her eyes back on mine. 

“You scared Beasty?”

Nawh, more like highly aroused. 

I narrowed my eyes at her and went to look in the car. Sure enough, the back seat was filled with food, some male clothes and toiletries. 

“You steal his car, too?” I heard the Lieutenant ask her with an almost impressed tone to his voice. 

She just giggled and stood up, bowing in a grand gesture. 

Aldo looked her up and down and began clapping, shouting that, “this girlie deserves a round of applause!” 

And as everyone was applauding, I couldn’t help but look over at her again, admiring the proud smile on her delicate face. 

She was worth the wait. 

HUGO’S P.O.V: 

This woman. This woman who was so passionate about slaying Nazi scum, was to become a Basterd? No. That title would not do. She was an angel. 

Who would have thought this beautiful woman is capable of such things. She is more like a bunny than a killer. Hasi. Meine Hasi. Bunny. My Bunny. 

God has sent us wretched men His most perfect creation and I will cherish and protect her no matter what. She will be mine. She will be my joy in this world of hate. 

And as I approach Hasi, hoping I will show her how much adoration I already have for her through my eyes and next moves, I take her delicate hand and bring it to my lips. 

“Wilkommen, Hasi.” 

                                                           FIN

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 12

Warning: swearing, several mentions of murder, scaring people out of their pants, Beej being a creep, shotgun use, abusive ex.

The ground was shaking, the house was somehow glitching and green smoke filled the living room. The girls heard a loud, croaky, devilish laugh right before the room turned completely dark. Even the lightning stopped. Sofía held Rei close in fear, while Ari was looking around with lustruous eyes. All of a sudden, a gravelly voice filled the air.

- Welcome, welcome, welcome, lovely ladies! - a weirdly handsome, husky man with fluffy hair, which went from black roots to glowing, bright green tops and stubble colored the same way stood on the dining table. He wore a dirty striped suit with a stripey shirt; a green tie, which had several spots of moss on it; black suspenders; and dirty black leather shoes with stacked heels. He was grinning, showing his sharp double canines; his golden, kind of catlike eyes were shining in excitement. Some random spots of dirt and maybe rotting patterned his face. He put a spotlight on himself, and as he threw his hands above his head, a couple of red neon lights lighted up around him. Some of them were arrows, pointing at him, some of them were captions saying "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice". - Can all of you see me now?

- SHIT HE'S REAL. - screamed Rei.

- Wow. - gasped Ari right before the man jumped down from the table. He landed right in front of her. He locked his gaze in hers and offered her a hand. - You look WAY better than I imagined, based on the voice. - she put her palm in his. - Not so dead... - Beetlejuice lifted Ari up from the ground and as he did, he locked her in his arms, swooped her off her feet and planted a kiss on her lips. Which was followed by a bitchslap from the wide-eyed breather girl. Beetlejuice let Ari go, still smiling like an idiot.

- Sorry, sorry, I got overjoyed, I just had to, I couldn't help myself. Am I overstepping my bounds? - Ari nodded and smiled while she wiped her lips. This man can't be real. Crazy motherfucker is worse than I imagined. - It's just that this whole thing is so beautiful! - his voice got emotional and he put his hands on his chest, where Ari imagined his heart would've been. - You called me! You didn't have to, but you called me!

- The fuck you mean she didn't had to? - asked Rei who let go of Sofía to inspect the demon more closely. Beetlejuice raised an eyebrow, pulled a grimace, snapped his fingers and a couple pieces of furniture appeared before the winter garden's door, making a barricade.

- Solves all ya problems. - he turned back to Ari. - NOW! I'm gonna go, kill those suckers, have some fun, earn some screams, and leave chaos in my wake!

- Yes, good, get on it! - stated Ari, held Beetlejuice's wide shoulders, and turned him around to face the backdoor. - Get'em, tiger. - Sofía jumped in front of them, making Beetlejuice almost fall over.

- Wait, you really want him to do that?!? - Ari gestured with her hand and raised her eyebrows.

- Duuuh, I didn't summon him to play fucking yahtzee! - BJ chuckled and put his elbow on Ari's shoulder.

- I like your jokes but I like hu-mor. - he cooed with a tilted head and a cheesy smile. Ari flashed a kind of annoyed look at him and blinked fast.

- Later, Beetlejuice, later, please, we have so much shit to do and haunt and kill now.

- You can't do that! - said Sofía, still standing before Ari and BJ. - It's not just morally wrong, but don't ya think, Ariadné dearest, that if a bunch of guys get brutally murdered here, we'll have to bury them and having a shitton of mounds in our backyard would raise suspicion? AND since we have such a bad luck, I'm pretty sure the police would find the bodies somehow. - Beetlejuice layed back to the wall, inspecting his dirty black nails, sighing. There's so much trouble with living folks, they always find somethin' to ruin the fun. It's easier with dead guys, you have some problems with them, you just throw 'em to a sandworm and your problems are solved! WAIT...

- Hey, guys, sorry to barge in, but I just wanna state that if you push someone, that’s bullying, if you kill someone, that’s murder, sure, but if there is no evidence and nobody sees it... - he shrugged. - ...it’s a simple accident. - he showed a toothy grin, lightning flashing on his sharp double canines. - And those goddamn sandworms could swallow anyone alive.

- What's a sandworm? - asked Ari excitedly. BJ shrugged.

- Oh ya know, nothing much, just 10-meters-tall two-headed snakes with a killer appetite. If they eat someone, they automatically get deported to the Netherworld, or I dunno how ya folks call it, Purgatory. No problem with the body, or the ghost. - Ari smiled widely and launched herself at Beetlejuice. She hugged his neck tightly.

- YOU ARE A GENIUS! - Beetlejuice just stood still, not knowing what to do with the sudden hug.

- Well, being dead has its perks. - he said with a small, weird laugh. Ari made a disgusted face and quickly let go.

- Ew, you smell like rotten meat. Gross.

- Aww thanks babe! - ha cooed and put his weight from one leg to another like a little kid.

Rei cleared her throat.

- Isn't that swallowing thing still murder though? - Beetlejuice appeared right behind her out of thin air.

- Jesus Christ, Rei, you sexy son of a bitch, grow up! - he said and pinched her booty, then quickly reappeared on the dining table. - Please, sweethearts, shut up already! - he said in a nagging manner. - I'm ready for some people to die! Let me have my fun, you guys are like a snorefest! - the knocking started again, since the bad guys on the other side of the door realized they can't break it.

- Who's there with ya honey? - asked Matt, after hearing BJ talk. - Did... DID YOU HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE?! I AM ALL THAT YOU NEED! ARIADNÉ, DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE!!! - BJ pointed at the door.

- See, the stupid motherfucker's even asking for it!

The girls looked at each other. Rei was the first to talk.

- Well, I have a very little patience for stupidity. I say let's get rid of these jerks. - Sofía rolled her eyes and tried to say something but Beetlejuice quickly pointed at her and a metal plate appeared on her lips, making her unable to talk. She flashed an angry look at the demon. But he just shrugged with a wicked smile.

- Silence gives consent.

- There's only one more thing! - stated Rei, which made Beetlejuice do a huge eyeroll.

- WHATTTT.

- Kill only Matt. His henchmen don't deserve death, I mean at least I think so. - she said while looking at Ari. She nodded with pouted lips. - Only scare them. If you can do that. - Beetlejuice held his chest and dramatically made the expression of fainting.

- If I can do that?! What do ya think, what am I, a newbie? - he jumped off the table, booping Rei's nose. - Babes, I've been scaring for like a millennia. I'm the bio-exorcist of the Netherworld, giving houses enemas and shit. - he turned away. - Don't underestimate my power cause I'll be offended! - Ari laughed, jumped next to Beetlejuice who hold his arm out, so she locked arms with him. He stared deeply into her widely opened, emerald green eyes. - So tell me, little wolf, do you want to punish those who have wronged you? - he said in an arousing tone. His gravelly voice made Ari slightly shiver and gulp.

- Y-yes...

- Alright ladies, then let's turn up the juice and see what shakes loose!

With a snap of the fingers, all 4 of them teleported to the kitchen. The metal plate from Sofía's mouth disappeared, which made her kind of relieved, but still left her grouching.

- You snake-ass bitches don't respect the Sister Code... - she grumbled.

- Hey, d'ya want me to put the plate back on your slutty mouth, woman?! - asked Beetlejuice in a sharp tone. Sofía crossed her arms before her chest.

- ...I hate you. - Beetlejuice nodded then turned back to Ari with a devilish smile. His eyes were literally glowing at this point, and maybe he had sharper and a bit more teeth than an average human would have.

- Okay, so first thing first, I'm invoking the "No Judgement” clause of our friendship.

- What? Why? - asked Ari. Beetlejuice layed back to the middle kitchen counter and fixed his jacket. He flashed his glowing, hungry eyes at Ari and winked.

- Cause Imma get a little nasty... - Beetlejuice was interrupted by an angry scream. Matthias was banging on the door so loud at this point that Rei was sure he already broke some of his fingers.

- OPEN UP OR I'LL SHOOT THIS FUCKIN DOOR OPEN! - Ari's lower lip juddered at the sudden shouting. She cupped Beetlejuice's chubby face in her palms, took a deep breath and with heated determination in her eyes she said:

- Make him piss his pants.

- Your wish is my command, babes.

- I'M GONNA COUNT TO THREE! - Beetlejuice looked at the door and snapped his fingers. - ONE! - the furniture floated back to their original places. - TWO! - BJ let out a voiceless laugh as he wiggled his fingers and made the whole house pitch black. - FUCK IT! - and with that, right after the sound of barrel-loading a shotgun, the door of the winter garden opened with a creek.

One of the most sobering things in the world must be to experience a classical horror cliché in a house that is rumored to be haunted. There were 5 men standing behind Matt; he met them all earlier that night at a shitty pub, and they were all horny and drunk enough for Matthias to convince them easily to follow him and break into the house of his ex-girlfriend. Stupid boys thought that they'll get some easy pussy that night. Then they saw the house and all of them started to get second thoughts... But they quickly brushed them off, those rumors were just to scare the little townsfolk.

As soon as the door opened, Matt's henchmen looked at each other. Matthias hastily stepped into the house and looked back at the guys. They were stalling and shared concerned looks. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and appeared with the girls hidden behind one of the huge cupboards of the winter garden. He leaned closer to Ari and whispered:

- Watch. This. - he pointed at one of Ari's big oleanders and started to wiggle his fingers. The plant started to grow, and as it got bigger and bigger, it became an anthropomorphic cross between a Venus flytrap and an avocado. It had a huge, nasty-looking pod which had shark-like teeth. Ari gasped and smiled widely. She always wanted to see this plant in real life. The men didn't notice the plant first, but then one of them started to sniff the air, which was filled with the smell of blood now, and turned around. As soon as he spotted the plant, he screamed like a girl. Beetlejuice opened his mouth in awe and circled his nipples.

- Oh how I missed that sound... - he purred. Ari laughed.

- Do the Voice, do the Voice, do the Voice! - she said excitedly and jokingly smacked BJ's upper arm a couple times. The demon showed his teeth, held out his hand like a sock puppet and immitated talking with it. As he did, the plant started to talk.

- FEED ME SEYMOOUUR! - the plant growled at the men before it. All 5 of them screamed and launched themselves into the pitch black room. They shoved Matt before themselves, who fell on his stomach, dropped his weapon and headbanged the hardwood floor. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers again, which made him and the girls reappear behind the sofa. He peeked out, threw his hand up and made a pulling movement. The burglars all got dragged deeper into the room. It felt like something grabbed their ankles and pulled them...

In the blink of a moment, the door slammed shut behind them, and maniacal laughter filled the air, like it came from every direction. Beetlejuice winked at the girls and got back to his normal, gravelly tone.

- Learn to throw your voice, fool your friends, fun at parties!

- Now THAT is cool! I wanna do that too! - said Rei in an excited tone. Sofía rolled her eyes; she was still very pissed at her sisters so she decided to not give a damn, doesn't matter what awesome things Ari's demon buddy could do. Ari peeked over the edge of the sofa and giggled at the expressions of the men. They looked so afraid. Beetlejuice quickly pulled her back and shushed her with a small laugh. He gestured towards the fireplace which instantly lit up. One of the guys let out a tiny scream, which made BJ rub his palms in ecstasy. He bit his lower lip.

- Mi mamá was right. - said one of the burglars, a shorter latino guy with wobbly voice. - This place... is cursed.

- No it's not. - stated the one next to him. He sounded clearly afraid as well, he just tried to cover it with confidence. - Anyway, what is it with you and curses? You're never happy without a good curse. Superstitious idiot. - he changed into a more sarcastical tone. - "This is cursed, that is cursed!"

- Give it a rest, will ya!!! - shouted Matt, who was looking for the shotgun. - Don't be pussies! It's just the wind, and my baby always had weird plants. You know what we came for. Let's head upstairs, 2 people per girl, and have some fun! - he flashed an evil smile at his "friends". And that made Beetlejuice's blood boil.

- Not on my watch, Mattyboy! - he hissed. He closed his eyes for a moment. Welp, hope I'm not rusty. - Let's see, what are you jerks the most afraid of?

He disappeared from behind the sofa. The girls peeked out, and clearly saw a shadow figure circling the men. It was audible that something was moving behind them. The burglars turned around but didn't see a thing. Beetlejuice's shadow form took a quick look into every men's eyes. Several scriptures from the Middle Ages tell us that if a demon looks into your eyes, they can see your biggest fears. Who would've thought that it's true?

- Got it. - said Beej as he reappeared behind the sofa with a snap. He took a quick look on Ari's excited faced, and flashed a toothy grin. - This is gonna be so. Much. Fun. Let's give those guys the fright of their lives! - Beetlejuice disappeared again, just to reappear next to the windows. His figure was vaguely illuminated by the random thunderbolts. He tilted his head sideways and dropped his left hand next to himself. His painted black nails grew into huge claws, his catlike eyes were glowing, just like his dark burgundy hair. It always looked like this when he was in a destructive, devilish mood. He flashed a wicked, Cheshire-like smile and started to scratch the windows. It made the girls' get goosebumps but the burglars' look was a good enough compensation for the unpleasantness. Ari was pretty sure that the guys saw BJ for a moment before he disappeared with a laugh again. He sounded so evil. Beetlejuice appeared next to Ari again, digging into his fluffy hair, eyes closed, wide smile on his face. Shit, that's hot, thought Ari. - I'm still the Ghost with the Most.

- What if they go upstairs? - asked Sof with a raised eyebrow, pointing at the burglars approaching the stairs. - Hmm? Did ya plan out something for that as well, Mr. Ghosty-ghost?

- Well I have ideas... - said Ari and leaned close to Beej. She whispered something into his ear which made him bite his lower lip. At this point his teeth were more shark-like than human-like.

- Shit babes, you're a natural... - he moaned and flung his hand towards the stairs. Matthias just stepped on the first step, but was stopped by the sight of 2 little girls standing on the top of the stairs, holding hands. Their eyes were all black.

- Come play with us, Matty. Forever... and ever... and ever... - they said in the same rhythm, with the creepiest child-voice you can ever imagine. The burglars stepped back. Ari couldn't hold back any longer and shouted:

- NOW!

The children started screaming histerically and in the same moment, blood started to wave down the stairs, soaring on the walls, splashing at the men. They all screamed bloody murder and tried to ran away, scattering in every possible direction. Beetlejuice's eyes were glowing with pleasure.

- Do you hear that sound, Ari? That BEAUTIFUL sound? - he said with a moan and bit his fist. - That is the sound, of clean, white, shorts turning brown.. - he looked at Ari. - Ain't it the sweetest noise around? - he laughed maniacally which made Ari and Rei giggle as well. - You guys stay here so you won't stay in the way, but you... - he grabbed Ari's hand and pulled her up to her feet. - ...you deserve to enjoy the show from first row, babes.

With a snap, they appeared in the corner, next to good old Long John Silver's skeleton. Beetlejuice wiggled his fingers and the pirate slowly came to life. One of the burglars, with terror in his eyes, tried to run away as far as possible from the reanimated corpse, but clumsily, he lost his foothold because of the dripping blood from his clothes and fell on his back. It made a huge thud. Ari burst out laughing, like the child she was in heart, but tried to cover her mouth with her hand. Beetlejuice was laughing too, but decided to top his performance and wiggled his fingers again. The pirate started rattling as he lifted his sword up, let out a warcry, and started to run in the lying man's direction. He let out an agonizingly high-pitched scream as he got up. BJ and Ari laughed more histerically.

- Did you hear that?! - wheezed the girl and slapped BJ's shoulder. - Oh my god let's make some more people scream!

BJ held Ari's hand, and pulled her over to the TV. The demon tapped the screen which instantly lit up in blue. Weird streaks appeared on it, then a hand from the inside, tapping the glass. Then another one. Then one more. Two guys, who now held each other, screamed out. BJ put his arm around Ari's shoulders.

- Panic and stress, oh ain't it the best? - he said an laughed with his head thrown backwards.

- You are such a weirdo! - she laughed and elbowed him in the side. He let her go, tilted his head sideways, hunched down and bit his lips in a weird, kinda creepy manner. Ari wheezed and scruffed his fluffy hair. Beetlejuice hunched down more.

- Now behind my ear... - he said with a moan. Ari pulled her hand back with a laugh. She looked around, admiring the sight of bloody men running around, but then her eyes found a specific person standing before the steps, staring at her with a shotgun in his hand. The smile from her face disappeared. She took a step back, and Beetlejuice instantly stepped before her, covering her with his body. He formed a little cup with one of his hands, held out the other dramatically and blew into his palm. A huge blob of fire appeared right before them, blowing up in Matthias's face. He screamed and BJ laughed. - No worries babes, I got ya. NOW WHERE WERE WE. - he turned around and after some looking, he pointed at a guy. He was trying to open up the front door, but it was shut. Beetlejuice made huge gestures and summoned a crazy eyed, killer looking dog. Ari awwed and crouched down. The dog acted all surprised when the girl scruffed his head, but in half a second he got really happy and wagged his tail. Beetlejuice raised an eyebrow and made an unimpressed face. - You are a hellhound, you are SO not supposed to do that. - Ari laughed, hugged the dog one more time, then pointed at the guy Beetlejuice was eyeing.

- Go, catch! - she said in an angelic voice. The hellhound started barking and running towards his target. Poor guy jumped up on the hall cabinet.

Beetlejuice snapped again. They now appeared in the downstairs bathroom. A burglar was leaning against the bathroom door, huffing, and as they appeared, he pointed at BJ in fear.

- YOU! - he shouted. - My dad told me about you! The stripey demon with the stupid hair who haunts the creepy house at the edge of the town! Nobody believed a young weedhead pizza guy but you ARE real! - Beetlejuice shrugged and flashed an evil smile.

- Well, why didn't you listen to him? I bet he told ya to stay away from this... - he rubbed his palms together. - ...creepy house... - he opened his palms, water pouring out of them. Ari climbed up on the washing machine, which was a good idea, noticing that something huge started to move in the water. A crab-like figure. The guy screamed bloody murder. BJ laughed and snapped. Him and Ari reappeared in the living room, right behind the sofa. Rei was clapping like an idiot. Shit, even Sofía looked a bit more enthusiastic now. What can I say, the guy IS good.

- Are you lovely ladies having fun? - Ari and Rei nodded exaggeratedly, Sofía huffed and rolled her eyes. - Well the real show is just about to begin! Take your seats! - Beetlejuice teleported the girls onto the sofa while himself appeared on the coffee-table. He started tapping a rhythm with his feet and out of nowhere, the sound of a guitar could be heard. Then came drums. BJ was kinda dancing around on the table, feeling himself. One of the burglars ran towards him with a glass thing he found on one of the shelves. BJ fixed his jacket and with a movement of a hand, he summoned fire towards him. Then laughed at the guy falling over. Now full on music was blasting. Theatrical weirdo, thought Ari. Rei clapped, BJ bowed. Then he raised his hands slowly, making big spiders emerge from the ground. Sof whined a little and closed her eyes.

- EWEWEWEWEW.

One of the burglars, who was sitting in the corner, legs pulled up to his chest, cried out.

- THIS IS JUST A LUCID DREAM! I'M DREAMING! - BJ turned his head backwards, then floated before him with a normal facing, tilted head, and grabbed the guy's chin.

- Really? - the girls didn't see what's happening really, but what they saw, was that BJ's head was getting bigger and that he opened his lower jaw like a snake. - Then tell me, buddyboy, why do I hear you screaming? - the burglar screamed out and turned white as a wall. Beetlejuice appeared next to Ari on the sofa. He wiped his teary eyes and laughed again. Ari grabbed his thigh with an excited smile.

- You are fantastic! Unbelievable! That was a sound that says I will never sleep well again! - she breathed in. BJ's eyes were glowing at her. Literally glowing. - I can't believe you are such a talented scarer. Hollywood should learn from you. - the demon looked down at his shoes and crumpled his jacket. A slight streak of pink appeared in his hair. Ari jumped back. - OH MY GOD YOUR HAIR CHANGES COLOR! - he pulled the differently colored streak and sighed.

- Yeah, it's like a moodring... Stupid thing always tells on me...

- THAT IS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! - said Ari with excitement in her voice. - What does light pink mean?

- NOTHING. - stated Beej. With a little bit too much voice. He cleared his throat. - Imma tell ya later, but as you said, we still have so much shit to do, to haunt, to kill... - he winked at Ari who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms before her chest. Beetlejuice booped her nose, than pulled her up onto the table. He whirled her around in ecstasy, both laughing, BJ howling sometimes. - Nice moves, little hellion! - he laughed. The music in the background got louder and louder with each moment. BJ let Ari go for a moment. The guys were losing it at this point, most of them crying and running around. Beetlejuice looked at his pal. - Hey Ari, check this out! - he raised his hands, pointing at one guy after another, twitching with each move. All 6 of them stood up straight. BJ looked at Ari with a wicked smile. - Dance break!

To the rhythm of the music, the burglars all started to dance. They did the same moves BJ did, with a weird green fog in their eyes. Beetlejuice occasionally looked at the girls, who were laughing their asses off. BJ did The Thing™, which made them all snort. Beetlejuice didn't notice that it also made Ari check out his pelvic moves.

The music ended, Rei and Sof was holding each other, both of them teared up by laughter. Ari slapped her thighs. Beetlejuice bowed several times.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you! That was an old Scandinavian folk song. - the girls teared up again. Beetlejuice smiled like an idiot. Now his hair was more green then burgundy. He was having a great time. - I mean, yeah, I put my own spin on it, but... Hey, ya liked it!

And that's when their laughter was stopped by the sound of barrel-loading a shotgun.

[screensirenfic]

Black Leather - Chapter 32

We had all been ready to burst into the lab Rambo-style, guns blazing and bats swinging, but the reality of what happened was much more anticlimactic.

We couldn’t even get past the damn gate; great rescue party we were, and had spent the past ten minutes arguing about how exactly we were going to get it open without electricity.

I’d been all for scaling it and just doing this thing Marines style, but some of the more masculine members of our party were worried about losing some spare parts on the barbed wire; here’s looking at you Steve!

So instead I was sitting with my back against the control room whilst Dustin and Jonathan played press the button for the hundredth time!

“Do you think Nancy wants to break up with me?” Steve’s voice broke through my thoughts as he settled down on the floor beside me; and I began to wonder what brought on this bombshell now of all times.

“What? Where’s this come from?” I asked, confused, because Steve really had the worst of timings.

“I mean; she’s out here with Jonathan; of all people, and I mean; it seems like she doesn’t trust that she can just tell me things. You know what I mean?” Steve explained with all that heart wracking vulnerability I really needed to be less susceptible to.

I sighed, holding off rolling my eyes, because poor timing or not; Steve had asked for some genuine advice, and I suppose I owed him that much.

“Look; I don’t know a lot about what’s going on with Nancy...” I began, trying to soften some hard truths for his sake, because it didn’t take a genius to work out that maybe Steve and Nancy’s relationship wasn’t fit to last.

But maybe that wasn’t a bad thing in the long run.

“But even if she was planning on breaking up with you; it wouldn’t be your fault...” I reassured him, watching how his eyes never left the girl in question as she paced up and down the gate.

“You’ve done everything you can, Steve. And I think she already knows that.” I offered in consolation, patting him affectionately on the shoulder, because that’s the most I could give him right now.

Steve opened his mouth to reply, when suddenly we were bathed in light.

“The powers back on.” Nancy stated, breaking her pacing to rush over to the control room whilst the labs lights slowly began to flicker with life.

Steve and I got to our feet, following the rest of the party as they crowded outside the control room, watching whilst Dustin and Jonathan resumed their button mashing with twice the enthusiasm.

“Let me try...” Said Dustin, already making to push past Jonathan.

“Hold on...” Jonathan replied, still not done hammering his thumb on the button like a mad man.

“Let me try, Jonathan...” Dustin insisted, shoving past Jonathan to resume pressing the button repeatedly, as if a change of person was gonna do anything.

Still; the gate remained closed, and we remained locked outside whilst god knows what went on just beyond our reach.

“Son of a bitch! You know what...” Griped Dustin, practically slamming his thumb against the button as if he could pummel it into submission.

Nope. Wasn’t working, and I was just about to re-suggest scaling the fence, when the gate slid open with an aching creak.

“Hey; I got it!” Exclaimed Dustin triumphantly, but somehow I don’t think he was the reason it had opened up.

I stepped forward, ready to lead the charge through the gate, when Steve stepped forward, grabbing my arm.

“Hey; Lo. Maybe we should let Jonathan and Nance go in first, and we can wait out here with the kids.” He suggested softly, his hands still not leaving my arm.

“Are you kidding, Steve? Come on; they need us in there!” I argued, pulling away ready to follow Nancy to Jonathan’s car which he was already climbing into.

“Steve’s right. You should probably keep watch in case any of those things try to escape.” Jonathan agreed with Steve for perhaps the first time ever.

“No. Not gonna happen. I can help!” I insisted, marching over to the car; Steve following hot on my heels.

“Lola; please...” Steve begged, grabbing my arm again and spinning me to face him.

“Just listen to me just once...” He continued; his face looking drawn and tired for the first time tonight, and I was wondering what worries were running through that pretty little head of his.

“I’m not asking you to be the damsel. I just asking you to stay with me. Please.” He added; his eyes soft and painful as he looked into mine; and maybe he should’ve been more worried about what this looked like to his girlfri—

VROOOM!

I spun at the sound of an engine whirring to life, just before Jonathan gunned it through the gate towards the lab.

“Hey—“ I protested, but he was already whizzing down the street with no intention on turning back.

I spun back to Steve; who had one of those shiteating grins on his face, and shot him a look that promised a hundred degrees of hell later.

This boy was gonna get it. Mark my words.

——————————————-

Damsel in distress duty was well oversupplied, with two semi adults and three kids sat at the roadside like homeless bums, waiting patiently for our crafty crusaders to return.

I wasn’t talking to Steve; resolved in ignoring this asshole for the rest of the day and potentially longer.

So he suddenly decides to get smart when it comes to tricking me, but acts a total idiot the rest of the time?!

Well; let’s see how smart boy likes playing babysitter all by himsel—

“Guys...” Max called out from the road, eyes fixed on a set of glaring lights rapidly approaching.

I heard the rumble of an engine, then the sharp honk of a horn.

“Get out the way!” I exclaimed, tugging the girl from the road before she had the chance to become roadkill, just moments before Jonathan’s car came barrelling past at full speed.

We didn’t have time to wonder what his hurry was before another much more recognisable truck pulled to a halt beside us.

“Dad!” I smiled at his familiar haggard face as the window rolled down.

“Get in.” Dad commanded, leaving no time for heartfelt greetings before Steve pulled open the side door and began ushering the kids inside.

They all piled in; me included, endings up being sandwiched between Dustin, Max and Lucas in what I’d previously considered a spacious backseat.

Steve, meanwhile, climbed into the front seat and once again I’d been cheated out of shotgun; this time in my own dad’s car.

Still; now wasn’t the time to make complaints, not when dad gunned it at 70 down a 30 street.

Steve let out a sigh, leaning back into his seat as if he just ran a marathon.

“Jesus; that was...” He panted; not quite managing to get the words out to finish the sentence.

“What the hell happened dad?” I interrupted, leaning forwards between the front seat, because he never told me he was going to the lab, and I thought we’d agreed no more secrets?!

“I’ll tell you about it later, sweetheart; I promise...” My dad assured me, slowing the truck to a speed that was less likely to get us all killed.

Although the pressure to hightail away from here was becoming less and less urgent; the tension refused to dissipate, silence reigning supreme over the entire truck.

Awkward didn’t begin to describe it; the very knowledge that everyone in this car had been lying to each other in some form or another now glaringly obvious in the eye of the storm.

“Harrington.” My dad still spoke to Steve like he was that dipshit in the cells, sparing him a glance in the rear view mirror that only made the exchange more awkward.

“Mr Chief Hopper, sir.” Steve addressed my dad with more respect and awkwardness than he probably deserved; distinct memories of my dad opening the front door of our trailer with a shotgun in hand, perfectly portraying the paranoid strict father who wanted to protect his baby girl from delinquents like Steve.

Good thing he hadn’t met Billy yet. Dad would have a field day; though that was an issue best tackled after we dealt with a pack of angry dog lizards.

“I trust there’s a good reason you dragged my daughter out here at this hour?” My dad began; and I could already hear the cop in his voice, the interrogation well and truly started.

Steve opened his mouth to make an excuse; so used to me using the exact same tone and cadence in our arguments that familiarity tempted him to argue, but then he stopped himself; his better nature telling him it was best not to piss off the guy who could stop the police looking into his death.

“Yes sir; yes there is.” He replied instead; the tight discipline in his voice leaving me in a fit of giggles, because there was no way Steve spoke to anyone else like that.

“Good. I’ll be interested to hear it once you’ve told me why you’ve brought three children to a known military facility...” My dad drawled; his staunch disapproval near enough to put the fear of God into Steve.

“Yes sir.” Steve sighed, already resigned that this is gonna be a long and painful drive for him, but I had no sympathy.

Being a white knight had consequences; it was a high time he learnt that.

[yeet-me-into-oblivion-please]

Well, Supernatural is actually ending and I don't know what I'll do

[ Brevity is not a strong suit of mine since I've included personal details but there's stuff I feel everyone in the SPN family needs to read]

You might be expecting another post about how Supernatural saved someone's life and how devastated they will be when it ends because they've watched it for so long as well as how the actors have impacted their lives. This is probably one of those but please hear me out.

Supernatural premiered in 2005 and I was in preparatory class (aged 5 years and was before I began 1st grade). I heard of it because my aunt would watch it time to time so I'd also tried to get some peeks myself but I wasn't allowed to because it was "too scary".

Then our local cable began to show seasons 1-5 and that was when everyone in class started watching and quoting it. This was in 6th grade and I was frustrated because I knew about it before most of them yet they acted like it was a new show. I had a fair idea about the story but once I began watching it, I fell in love with it and loved it like a part of my soul.

Yes, Jensen Ackles was my first crush but I still thought (and do think) that both he and Jared are super hot. So I was sucked into this vortex, this Neverland which I never thought I would end.

I joined Tumblr for this show in 2013 because I saw the jokes about there being a Supernatural gif everywhere and wanted to be a part of the fandom/community. This was also the year I actually became interested what other fans felt though I never used this site properly until 2016 I would read the IMDb discussion boards because I hated scurrying through Destiel-infested posts.

(Fun fact:I wasn't using any social media of my own but on my mother's Facebook I liked a Supernatural fan page asking people's opinions on Destiel. This is was around the time season 8 was just finishing or had already finished so I read the comments--- people talked about Dean and Castiel being gay and didn't approve of it as there was this one girl who was conservative and didn't believe in homosexuality while others went on how Dean was always a ladies man which I agreed with. Not that I commented but I thought there was something I missed and I thought Castiel used Dean as a vessel, thus Destiel.)

But I digress. I was in deep by the time season 9 premiered and majority of the people I knew stopped watching the show except for this girl who bullied me throughout preschool who put up this update that Dean had become a demon. I doubt she watches the show now but it was hard seeing her put pictures of "I heart Dean Winchester" and pictures of Jensen when my mom asked me why I don't do the same.

Supernatural, I feel, has become that embarrassing thing you are into in middle school but suddenly drop when you're older, looking back and thinking, "Yeesh, I can't believe I used to watch this show."

I'll be a grown woman at 30 or 40 and probably eventually in my 70s and 80s but I will still look back fondly, the good, the bad and the ugly because I have like many teenagers have undergone many changes (friends, family, emotions, hobbies etc) but Supernatural has always been this constant in my life.

Because let me tell you, I'm seeing these posts saying stuff like how people are glad that it's finally over with its "bullshit" and that's it's dying. That is extremely disrespectful and insensitive to those people who literally live for it, who have invested time and money into it: gif makers, artists, meta writers (I may not agree with you guys but even you count). They don't know what to do once the show ends because it has helped them in ways others will never ever be able to fathom.

I saw the video put up by the guys. I saw and I could tell that Jared, Jensen and Misha had probably cried their guts out before the announcement because their eyes were red and puffy. Jared was controlling himself by talking less as Jensen was clearly on the verge as well but yes they said that they should save the angst for next year.

I love the guys; I love Jared being a goofball and Jensen being equally goofy as well and I'll say this too, I used to enjoy some of Misha's crass jokes (not the highlight ) as well which was why I looked forward to the gag reel every summer (because of J2) because it was cathartic after a traumatic season finale. I love the witty banter and the pranks the cast would do and I will miss it tremendously.

I have some issues with my aunt but everything would be okay when we would fawn over the guys and bingewatch the entire season the summer after it finished airing. We'd quote quotes back and forth and even spiritually killed ourselves watching short clips of "Sammy, close your eyes", "I'm proud of us" etc. Hell, she even promised me that when we go visit my uncle in the States we'd attend a con together.

If, and whenever we do go, it'll be different because the show won't be on air anymore and I know for a fact that I won't feel the anticipation of an episode.

So don't say disrespectful and callous things like "fucking finally". You can dislike the cast/plotline/show but don't ridicule and mock those who invested in the show,some of you are most probably speculating and have barely seen it.

I'm not some dumb, blind fan. I can see some stupid mistakes and don't always eat up what the writers show. For example, everyone must have figured that I dislike Destiel because it's based on groundless assumptions. I thought the Bloodlines was a crap idea that had nothing to do with the main plot and knew it was destined to fail.

As for Wayward Daughters/Sisters or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be called, I was not looking forward to it at all because it was one of those "forced diversity" shows, y'know gender bent stuff.

I felt that they were bastardising everything that Supernatural has and will (always) stand for because some people had a hair up their backsides. Yeah, I loathed Claire and that Kaia mourning thing was bullshit. Thank goodness I was sick that day and couldn't keep my eyes open for that episode.

If we were told that there would be a Men of Letters(with Henry Winchester) or even a Bobby-Rufus spinoff I would be okay with that but for now since the show will finish next year let's the wounds heal first, shall we?

I hope that Jared and Jensen get some offers once the show is done and I will pay good money to see movies, TV shows of them etc but for now I will keep quiet since I hope we get an ending we (and the boys) deserve.

Yes, the writer situation scares me and I think they should call Eric Kripke for a last hurrah. I mean, it is his baby and he should get to have a say in the series finale as well as J2.

Will one of the brothers die and the other will live (I'm worried we'll get a reverse Swan Song)? Will they both die leaving Cas behind and Jack as some sort legacy who trains future hunters? That would be a possibility since the sheriff in 14.16 asked the Winchesters why they don't tell people about monsters. What happens to Baby?

I seriously doubt the ending will be happy(maybe not 100%) but the best thing would be if they go driving with Baby into the sunset...

Dean at the steering wheel with Sam riding shotgun, where they should be ---- where they will always be, home. Dean plays his "mullet rock" as Sam would playfully mock his brother's musical choices. No chick flick moments. Just the Winchesters.

The boys need to lay their weary heads to rest, so they can cry no more. Because they are the legendary Winchesters, the hunters who saved the world countless times unbeknownst to many. I don't think their work will ever be done but there will be peace when they are done and how they will reach that point we'll never know till 2020.

Everyone will hear "Carry on wayward son" for the last time ever in Supernatural over a painful montage of "Dad's gone on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and "Saving people, hunting things, the family business". Now who in this fandom wouldn't be wracked with pain?

This is the show we all joked about that made a deal with the devil to never go off air but I did expect this a long time ago. Only thing was that I didn't know how I'd treat the news. I was that person who would go, "pfft, of course Supernatural would get renewed". Then again, this was the show that an ending was imminent and the whole season 4 debacle about Misha and the angel storyline saving the show blah blah blah.

So next year, everyone will flock to see the finale and epic conclusion to the Winchester saga whether they stopped at season 5,6,7 or 10,12. Diss it all you want for the shit show it may have become but wherever you left off, you may still want to know what happens to Sam and Dean Winchester in the end.

Once Supernatural ends, I'll turn 20 next summer and I would like to think of it being poetic that I end my adolescence with a show I have loved when I brave the cold, ruthless world of adulthood. I'm a picky person and can't say what's my favorite xyz is but you know what I'll say about my favorite TV show.

We will have completed 327 episodes which is the highest for a scifi TV show so I do hope the boys get some sort of recognition. It was us crazy bitches and jerks that gave the show the mileage and it was us that gave Jared and Jensen faith that they could carry on so for the remainder of season 14 and for 15,support these guys. Support these annoyingly sexy and ridiculously hilarious dudes for this show. I'm sure Jared and Jensen love the show like it's their kid practically but I wish everyone would just shut up, tinhatters, bronlies, stans, destihellers because we are all fans of the one show so let's ease the time we have left.

But seriously imagine Sam and Dean on a desert highway, the orange and yellow rays of the setting sun make Baby shine in all her splendor which makes Dean swell with pride. He starts the engine with a low rumble and they're off. They might to California to feel the sand beneath their feet or to Disneyland. They're living the "apple pie life" and this is their personal heaven : with each other.

I wouldn't mind this playing in the background if the ending is the inevitable and unspeakable you know what :

It's wishful thinking, since I wish they'd actually play some Zeppelin instead of song titles being used as episode titles but I wish they could use some Queen or Guns n Roses and stuff before 1979 because everything sucked ass afterwards according to Dean.

I want the classic rock resurgence in the show as well but I know they'll end up using the cash elsewhere. I wouldn't mind a body swap episode but if wishes were horses, right?

[lord-dusk]

Jurassic Emblem-Chapter 10

Scales are quite tricky to draw. Anyhow, there’s the second boss of the game!

 Nifl was a cold, desolate land of snow,bones,ice,and blood. Frozen blood. It wasn’t quite the Kirby-esque happy place you’d thought it would be, after the Nifl-Muspell incident where Askran forces killed off warped versions of video-game protagonists and The elder Nifl princess Guunthra being roasted alive like some yummy Barbie-Cute pork. And the situation got particularly better when the sun-dragon Helios was frozen solid, condemning the whole area into everlasting night.

At least the stars and moon looked very charming and exquisite, white stellar bodies illuminating the aqua-blue sky.

Blue and Lucina were marching through the snow, huddling each other for thermal radiation. Blue, having grown up on a tropical island for much of her life, had borrowed Lucina’s scarf and cape for extra warmth(don’t get into that frappucino debate on feathers please). Lucina, having grown up in a desert country with enough rainfall to sustain a 15m-tall scythe-wielding flesh golem, found it rather uncomfortable trekking through the snow. Ryukami the mosasaurus had stayed behind at the ice-floes to catch up on some Nisioisin novels.

The raptors were marching onwards to the north of Nifl, sometimes passing by some shrubs and frost-covered rocks. Just when Lucina thought things were getting rather monotonous, she saw something rustle out of the bushes. Blue took notice as well and saw what appeared to be a penguin-like bird with white spots on its face waddling in a panicked manner before a fox-squirrel thing pounced on it and tore apart its head from its socket, crimson blood and pieces of esophagus and vocal cord spilling out unto the snow and dying it red. Blue and Lucina were eyeing the fox-squirrel as it dug heavy mitten-like foreclaws into the bird’s torso and stringy pink intestines splooged out. Lucina decided to look away and went on her way. Blue paid no attention to the carnage after that as well.

“That was a Repenomamus devouring a Great Auk,” Blue explained. “The world where I from, InGen didn’t simply revived dinosaurs, they brought back Paleozoic and Cenozoic fauna as well. Although if I were you, I wouldn’t dare pet a reppy.”

“Why? Are they dangerous?” Lucina asked. Blue can easily tell right off the bat that humans like Lucina had a profound desire to prod and hold small,furry mammals.

“Oh yes. Reppies are one mammal you do NOT want to pet; despite looking like a Pomeranian with mole-claws, they WILL try to eviscerate you; for a mammal from the Mesozoic they are quite big enough to eat small dinosaurs.”

“Hmm? I assumed mammals evolved after the demise of the giant lizards.”

“Actually, they co-existed with the dinosaurs, though they were bit characters in a world dominated by reptiles bursting with presence and charisma. Repenomamus was the biggest furry during its time, but most of its kin were barely any bigger than an Amiibo figure.”

“And that penguin-looking bird?”

“Uh-huh. That great auk was NOT a penguin-it’s actually more closely related to puffins than to the famous diving birds south of the Equator. Although, it was the the only auk that converted its flight power to swimming power completely, and those damn humans wiped its existence off the face of the Earth.”

“You know quite a lot about animals before the dawn of man, don’t you?” Lucina commented.

“I’m a creature from before man myself, though I wouldn’t be too surprised if InGen resurrected species routed by humanity, like the dodo and the gastric mouth-brooding frog.” Blue replied.

“Come to think of it, isn’t it harder to clone a mammal than say, a reptile or a fish?”

“Yes, Henry Wu of InGen has cloned mammals occasionally, but found it quite tedious because mammalian red cells do not have nuclei, where the DNA are located. You would need to find white cells, which are much less common than their red counterparts in a ratio of 2 to 12.”

“Reptiles and birds, on the other hand, have nuclei within their red blood cells, and Henry Wu is a genius when it comes to manipulating DNA.” Blue explained, frowning.

“Who is this Henry Wu that you speak of ?”

“Why, as a human being, Dr.Henry Wu is a tacky SOB who creates red-eyed, mangled-toothed fatherfuckers and is considered a most dangerous man with the most dangerous technology in the sad history of humanity. He attempted to use my blood to create a line of Indoraptors to sell off for military purposes.”

Seems Wu sounds a LOT like that sperm-slurper Validar, Lucina grimly thought.

 The two of them chatted like this for the entirely of their walk until they reached Nifl Castle.

                                              *********

 Blue and Lucina had arrived at the castle of Nifl, but they were no guards to greet them. Well they were guards present-but they were frozen solid, and clusters of repenomamuses were busily gnawing away at the frozen body cavities.

 I guess a species changes its behavior accordingly to the environment, Blue though as she and her partner pushed the gates open. They went inside the interior and up the stairs.

“Something tells me the weather outside isn’t the reason those soldiers were icicles,” Lucina said, walking behind Blue.”Would it be a bad idea to go into the kitchen wing and grab some potions for the upcoming boss fight?”

The charcoal velociraptor sniffed the solid,icy air. It stinged her nose. “I don’t see why not,” she answered. “though if you see some ANY creature, reppy or not, attacking you, don’t hesitate to knock their heads off.”

Blue waited at the second floor while Lucina brisky walked to the the kitchen downstairs. A few minutes later, she was back.

“Are you ready for certain? During the boss-fight there will be no pee-pee breaks, and no daddy in white shining armor with a shotgun and a motorbike crashing through the windows to save either of us. Understood?” Blue interviewed.

“No need for any of that,” Lucina replied. “Let’s get this over with. I feel as though my body is becoming a gelato cone.”

 “Good. If my nose knows, she is just around the corner. Follow me.” the raptors headed to the corridor on the right and came across a door that read “Hrid’s Room: Out for Lunch”. They entered.

“Ugh. That was the fifth time someone has stepped in without my consent,” an icy voice hissed. “Do any of you thin-telligent organisms register the concept of knocking?”

 A woman was lounging on an oblong bed spotted with various books. But not a regular woman. Her lower half was that of a boa’s, turquoise-green with purple stripes, and covered with icicles.Her hair-piece were icicles as well, and her Victorian-style corset colored electric blue and black made the entire “cool” effect perfect,considering her expressions suggested otherwise.

“What do you bipeds want?” The snake woman demanded. “Did you interrupt my inspirational reading just so you can become like those popsicles outside?”

“We just want to talk,” Lucina answered.

The snake snorted. “Don’t be honest with me, be honest with you. What you really came here for is my bloody limp body that you can use to nail onto this country’s gates like a crooked Christmas decoration. Is that it, O Exalted Princess?

“Why did you freeze the sun-god? Do you recognize the biblical effects the entire world will face?” Blue questioned, her face contorting in defense for her friend.

“Let me tell you this,” the Victorian boa began. “I am the future best-selling novelist Basilice, and I sincerely have no desire to kill you. But my mistress Sha’Rad Yuwi denied my request and forced to to sacrifice my writing skills for combative means. My writing may be on hold, but my mind is certainly not. Exalted Princess, have you ever actually considered the misery of your foes that killed them because you desired to make “everyone happy”?”

“.....You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs,” Lucina replied.

“ ‘I want everyone to be happy,’ ‘let’s end all suffering in the world,’ those are lines that make me want to vomit out the Niflites I ate yesterday. Those are the shallow,one-dimensional philosophies of idiotic eukaryotes who do not face reality.” Basilice sputtered out. “The light is full of lies, lies! People willingly bask in the glory of light so they never again have to experience the truth of the darkness below! Light is harmful, harmful! And not just the fact that overdosing on UV light promotes cancer on light skin. Do any of you bipeds know anything at all about plants other than the vascular system in high-school?”

“When plants grow, they break down soil to suit their roots for sufficient nutrient intake,” Blue raised her hand in reply.

“Precisely! Around 400 million years ago, during the Devonian period, mosses and ferns were starting to grow onto rocks near the coastlines, and inevitably, these early pioneers of the new world crumbled the rock into fine soil which washed out into the sea over thousand of years, and do you know what happened? Vertebrates started choking! Fishes here and there had no idea how to cope with this influx of mud particles from the land, their gills clogged with minerals. This, combined with volcanic eruptions, consumed all the available oxygen in the water and there were massive, massive, casualties everywhere! Because fishes and run-off from terrestrial photosynthesis do not go well together! This catastrophe makes your petty carnage across Jurassic Park and Fire Emblem look like a squabble between toddlers in comparison. And you little humans use the opportunity to view more serious issues as a excuse to lounge in your chairs eating chicken nuggets.”

“So I killed him! I killed that sick son of a bitch Helios because he’s a major liar, and I’m going to teach everyone that people deserve bad endings, everyone!” Basilice took out her Dragonstone. “And if you girls are truly good character down to the nRNA sequence, you might be spared and see everyone in the world smothered in the darkness that is free of any lies! No more pain, no more sadness!”

Blue and Lucina prepared their weapons. “Let’s fight!” 

[magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics]

Dean Spam #4: Chubby - Request

Requested by @totheworldosanime​: Could you write a Dean winchester ×reader where the reader is definitely plus size and so can’t do all the “cute couple things”? Like the guy pick her up and spin her around or can’t do piggy back rides? Maybe somethin like she is their librarian and so doesn’t do feild work as much. & anon: chubby reader and dean she’s wearing spandex shorts and a Tshirt on a hunt with a utility belt where she has her guns and spells.

Hidden Word: Yoda by @belloangelus​

Warning: Implied smut, mean comments, very short.

A/N: I don’t know why people think chubby means insecure, but I’m not going with it. Maybe this is too much, maybe some of you will think reader is coming off like a bitch. Idgaf.

Enjoy!

The two brothers rested against the black Impala, which was hotter than usual because it was parked right in the middle of the empty street, with the sun reflecting all over it. Both men had a beer in hand and, surprisingly enough, they both had sunglasses on.

“Do you really think she’ll come?” Asked the taller one, looking down to his brother.

“Of course she will, I asked her to.”

“She doesn’t like field work…” The taller insisted.

“So?” Replied his brother, “She likes me, and that is more than enough.”

Before they could continue arguing, the roar of another car broke the silence in which they had been waiting. They turned around, as a red Mustang approached. Three silhouettes could be seen from afar, two of which were male and one, the driver, female.

“I told you she’d come,” replied the eldest, slurping down the last sip of his beer.

The car parked right by the Impala, the brothers walked closer to it, smiling to the passengers with gratitude.

“Next time, I want to drive shotgun,” one of the men argued, he had been sitting in the back and was now leaving the car angrily. His all-black outfit had a nice contrast against the red car.

“Next time, you are not coming,” the other man snapped back, leaving the car as well. His trench coat felt out of place because of the weather, yet he didn’t seem to notice.

“Enough with the sword fight, guys,” she said, still from the inside. “We all know mine is bigger.”

Both men rolled their eyes as the taller brother laughed. The other one had walked to her side of the car to open the door and help her out.

“Dean,” she greeted flirtingly.

“(Y/N),” he replied in the same voice tone.

“Just lick each other’s faces already,” the man in black groaned and turned his back to them.

“Not until I say hello to Sam,” She said with a smirk. “Hello, Sam.”

“Hello, (Y/N),” Sam greeted back, trying to hold back a chuckle.

“Now, come here,” Dean purred and held her face between his hands before ravishing her lips in a playful kiss.

“I will never understand humans,” the one in the trench coat commented, tilting his head as he stared at the couple, “he kisses her but he doesn’t kiss you, Sam, like that… He doesn’t kiss you at all.”

They went back to their cars, this time the angel in the trench coat decided to go on the Impala, allowing his companion to drive shotgun in the Mustang. They chose a diner, not far from the motel in which the brothers were staying at.

The waitress was a pretty girl, probably working there because there was nothing else she was good at, except blow jobs perhaps. She could’ve been a model if she was a bit taller, but she wasn’t and instead she was serving them.

Her grey eyes were on Dean, hating the idea of him being all over (Y/N). While the rest of them ordered, he couldn’t help but to kiss her face and whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

“What about you, handsome?” The waitress interrupted, trying to get some attention for herself. She was used to have all of the customers drooling over her.

“I’m having a number three with extra cheese and extra bacon,” he replied instantly.

The waitress did a couple more, unnecessary and stupid, questions about his order, and Dean, being the gentleman he was, answered to all of them without hesitation. (Y/N), in an attempt to keep herself from killing the waitress, looked outside the window by her side.

There was a couple right across the street. It was a bus stop and one of them had just returned from a trip. The boy didn’t hesitate to lift his girlfriend up, swirling her around with joy; this made (Y/N) smile, for she adored to see other couples in love.

“It must be hard,” the waitress commented, dragging everyone’s attention to her, “not being able to do all that cute stuff because of your weight.”

(Y/N) laughed, nonchalantly, and pressed a hand against Dean’s chest to keep him from saying anything. “No, not at all. I’m too much of a woman to be carried around like a doll.”

“Oh, burn,” the demon mumbled as a devilish smile grew across his face.

“I… I don’t get it…” She stuttered.

“I’d recommend you to get back to the kitchen, eat a bit more to see if you get what I mean,” (Y/N) winked.

“Well,” The waitress continued, feeling offended by her attitude, “I guess you can carry him like Yoda or something.”

“I bet you’d like that,” (Y/N) faked a smile and handed the menu to the waitress, who took it without really looking at it.

The dinner went by without any further comment about her weight, like always. Sam and Dean paid the meal, and then they all went to the Motel room, where they started getting prepared for the hunt.

Sam had given (Y/N) a special soap to bath with. They were hunting vampires, and Sam had read the recipe in a book under the promise that it would hide a human from the vampire’s keen sense of smell.

She showered with the soap, which was slimy and coloured in a very dark red that resembled her of coagulated blood. Then, she got dressed with spandex shorts, a t-shirt and put on her utility belt - and invention of hers with which she could carry around everything she needed for the hunt.

After leaving the shower, she hopped on the Impala, where Castiel and Crowley were already waiting. The brothers had rented another room for Dean and (Y/N) to stay in, and so they had two showers for each one of them.

Fifteen minutes later, they were all in the car, ready to go on for the hunt.

They were hiding at an abandoned movie theatre. Dean parked the car far enough for them to move comfortably, and helped his girlfriend out of the car.

“Wow, you’re wearing that?” He inquired, instantly looking down at her bare legs.

“Yup,” she replied listlessly, fixing her utility belt, which had gone out of place during the drive.

“Why?” Dean insisted.

“I sweat during hunts,” she answered, “it’s my consequence for never doing field work…”

“You are always welcome to come with us,” Sam added, walking past them to the trunk to get out his weapons.

“Yeah, specially wearing that… You know we have a room for ourselves, right?” Dean commented, giving her the perve-puppy eyes.

“I know,” She winked and then walked away, leaving Dean almost drooling.

The utility belt turned out to be a lot more useful than the Winchesters gave it credit. Dean couldn’t help but to cheer out loud everytime she popped a new hex-bag or weapon out of it, always comparing it to Batman’s and praising (Y/N).

Crowley didn’t do much, he only made sure the vampires didn’t went out of the place, they needed to interrogate them. Castiel did his usual job, and Sam finished the work along with the angel by tying every individual with ropes, for interrogation.

(Y/N), who was the intellectual one of the group, took over the interrogation, getting the information they needed after a couple trick questions. Then, Crowley took every vampire’s life within seconds.

It had been awfully simple, which could only mean things would be getting worse, eventually. However, that night they had a victory and they would enjoy it as long as it lasted.

Sam went out to a bar, trying to find someone to hook up with, while Castiel followed along, in an attempt to understand human behaviour a bit better. Crowley disappeared, and (Y/N) and Dean were left alone at last.

They were at the Impala’s hood, looking at the sky, although it had no starts. The moon was split in half, but shining bright over them, and the sounds of the city invaded the air. It smelled of gasoline and dirt, but that was their own little paradise.

“(Y/N)…” Dean called. They had put music but the cassette had finished a long time ago and they hadn’t even noticed.

“Hmmm,” she replied, looking at him.

“What did I do to deserve you?” He flirted, making her smile.

“I believe it was the fact that you stopped the Apocalypse,” She said. “I honestly can’t think of any other reason why you would be deserving of such a beauty.”

Dean chuckled. “You may be joking, but you really are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“I agree,” she continued, “because you are also the best thing that ever happened to me.”

He leaned closer to her, kissing her lightly. “You know we’re not a conventional couple?”

“Yes, thank God,” She smiled, “imagine how boring it would be?”

“Yeah…” Dean mumbled, “You do know why I’m saying it right?”

“I know.”

“That bitch… Who does she think she is?” Dean grunted.

“She’s insecure. She lives under the sense that being stereotypically beautiful will make her life better and, when she saw us, her whole bubble fell and she got defensive,” She explained calmly.

“How can you be so chill with that?” Dean argued.

“I pity every girl who isn’t me,” She answered without hesitation, and Dean laughed.

“I’m turning our romantic moment into a rant, aren’t I?” Dean blushed, hiding his face with his hands.

“No, not at all,” She whispered, full of sarcasm.

“Fine, I’ll stop,” he gave up, “why don’t we take advantage of that room for ourselves… Get cosy, and snuggle… Maybe make out a bit…”

“You think you can handle this woman?” She purred.

“No, but I think she can handle me in any way she wants…”

Masterlist

Schedule

Requests & To-Do List

Forever Tags:  @dekahg​ @myfriendmagislit​ @thecrazyhatwoman​ @pureawesomeness001​ @bingewatchingmylifegoby​ @cutie1365​

SPN Tags: @dreamingintheimpalawithdean​ @roseyhxnt​ @thisisjessicatalking @hotwinchester​ @pizzarollpatrol​ @colorfuluniversewhispers​ @destiel5100​ @bones-can-only-fly​ @frayedphan @shadyladyperfection​ @baconlover001​

Dean Tags: @coffeebreakandwinchesters @procrastinating-my-life-away​ @rdy4thevoid @baconlover001​ @wonderwinchester​ @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday​

[dcuglybooks]

A short story collection featuring stories that are either mean and ugly like that turd that thudded you in school, or sweet and cuddly as a little gloomy kitten; or puppy if you’re more of a dog person.

Stories Christians don't have to read backwards. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LGB4HGN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_UIpaGb2VC4BBX

Here’s a free short.

WAP: WEIRD ASS PHANTOM

“There’s a ghost in this house. There’s a ghost in this house.”

Linda was getting tired of the shit. Every day at exactly noon her alarm would play this shitty overdubbed version of a Cardi B song. The original song wasn’t her cup of tea to begin with, this new version that sounded like drunk karaoke was even worse. Most times she would be sitting there and the sound of a drunk sorority girl would make her jump out of her skin. She couldn’t even find the song or alarm in her phone to do anything about it.

Linda and her girlfriend, Melissa, moved into this old house last month, the rent was so damn cheap; landlord said it was because it used to be a party house so he never charged much. The logic didn’t make any sense but at $300 a month and a mile outside of town, how were they not going to sign that lease?

“I think,” spoke Melissa one night while watching her phone float around taking pictures in the air, “the reason rent is so cheap is because it’s haunted.”

“You think?” Replies Linda while snatching the phone out of the air. “I just wish this damn ghost would stop posting pictures of our bedroom to our Instagram accounts. Did you see the caption last night?”

“Oh you mean ‘Pumpkin spice is almost here. Basic bitches, rejoice!’ The comma is what set me off. Why did she put a comma in that? Why bother? It wasn’t even used correctly I don’t believe.”

“We’re being haunted by a basic bitch.”

“I think that may be offensive.”

“I hear it all the time, it just...... yeah ok maybe. I guess I shouldn’t assume this ghost is a bad stereotype, I won’t say it again.”

“True, this girl may have more going for her than just these annoying social media posts from our accounts”

“Remember the mirror though?”

Last week as the couple were eating dinner they heard a clatter and crash from the upstairs bathroom. Running full speed ahead up the stairs and around the corner Linda saw all their makeup in a pile in the empty sink. She could see a pair of red lipsticked lips floating in the air while eyeliner was seemingly drawn onto the air in a cat eye shape. She sighed and said “What now?” These types of things had been going on since the first night so at this point it was old hat.

The lipstick went to the mirror and wrote “I am finally going to kill you.” Linda took a step back prepared to flee until the lipstick wrote below it “JK LOL YOUR FACE” and then the face floated off into the wall leaving behind the makeup like some sort of painting.

The first time anything strange had happened, a pizza showed up at the front door; delivery for an Amanda Perkins. The girl who moved out recently, they took the pizza because it was already paid for and assumed the girl had made a mistake. They were sure of this as they sat and watched old re-runs of home improvement and munched away; then they noticed the slice floating over in the air above the recliner and the chewed up pile on the seat. They screamed and ran outside, Melissa forgot her phone inside and Linda’s made a ding from inside her pocket.

“Hey I know this is really weird, it’s weird AF for me too. We can make it work though, ladies. I swear I won’t bother you, I already cleaned up my mess.”

They inched inside looking around like scared toddlers and sure enough the mess was cleaned up. After that they just rolled with the weirdness.

“Are you sure Amanda left, Mr. Morris?” Linda was on the phone with the landlord.

“Yes. Positive. Why would you think she still lived there?”

“There’s been..... some things.”

“Drunk college girl, she probably stumbled home one night and forgot she went home for the summer. Its no deal. Not big or small.”

“Are you absolutely positive there is no deal? Big, small, medium, or slightly larger than medium but not quite large?”

“What do you think? I know her ex and he killed her and then buried her body in the basement so now her ghost is haunting you. This is why I charge so cheap rent! No. I don’t believe what you think. I will be going.”

He hung up without ever realizing Linda never once mentioned any of that other stuff. Linda thought, Why does he talk like that?

Turned out that’s exactly what had happened. After doing a quick google of the ghosts name they found out she never came home. After a quick Facebook search they found her ex boyfriends page. After some scrolling they found a post that said “Amanda and I broke up again and I am going to kill her.” The post had six likes and four comments.

“Get her bro!”

“Bitch ain’t appreciate you anyhow bet!”

“U need any ting lemme no”

“Fuk gr8 ass tho. Mind if I hit her up?”

These people were insane. Did not a single one of these people see the part about wanting to kill her? Actually PLANNING to kill her.

The police found it interesting enough to look into it, they found reason to arrest the guy. After a long court trial Amanda’s ex-boyfriend, Brent, was sentenced to life in prison for murder. The body was exhumed and buried at a family plot. The rent got more expensive because Mr. Morris was in prison for helping cover a murder so his aunt took over.

You win some you lose some.

Amanda did not leave though. The ghost hung out still to this day four months later. The social media posts kept going. The pizzas kept getting ordered, only now from their pockets because Amanda’s parents closed her bank account. Amanda was irritated about that, she was cut off from her parents money and stuck living with two other people.

Linda and Melissa tried to make her feel as comfy as possible, they left a pen and notebook in each room so she could communicate with them. Usually the notes were always about how bored she was being a ghost and how if she tried to leave the house it got all bright and she started floating. Amanda was “for real afraid of flying” as she wrote on a notebook.

Amanda’s behavior got strange at some point. She began doing things like drawing stick figures on the bathroom floor in shampoo, she would wrap herself in toilet paper and roll down the stairs creating the illusion of her body disappearing, the worst of it was when she would lay in bed with Linda and Melissa startling them when she pulled the blanket. It was like living with an invisible insane person. Either her mind was slipping or she was just a strange character. She would turn the TV on and watch the same episode of “King of Queens” for ten hours straight while they were at work. They wondered what would happen if they deleted it from the DVR but didn’t want to face that at all.

The alarm kept going off too; Linda had to hand out awkward smiles and apologies when it happened at work or in public. One time she had to apologize to a middle aged woman when it went off in the cereal aisle while shopping and her son started singing the lyrics to the original version as loud as his voice would allow. The mother gasped at all the words her kid knew and knocked a shelf of maple syrup over. The bottles burst all over the floor, Linda tried to help clean it up but she was shooed away by a guy with a mop bucket and a face that said he wanted her dead as shit.

They asked her multiple times what they could do to get her to move along, to which she would always write “sno-cone” on her notebook with no explanation.

Linda woke up sick on a Tuesday and didn’t go to work, she came into the bathroom and seen a note written in lipstick on the mirror that read “Baby, all my life I will be driving home to you.” She blushed, Melissa had left her a really sweet note on the mirror. When Melissa got home she surprised her with a bout of some of the best sex they had ever had, despite Linda being sick she felt overcome with love for her partner.

“Wow. What did I do to deserve that?” Asked Melissa after.

“The note.”

“Oh yes. The note, got you good with that one. So, if it was so good mind telling me what it said?”

“You know what it said!”

“Of course I do.”

She didn’t know what it said. She had no clue, but she wasn’t going to raise a stink about what just happened. No way, no how. She got up and went to use the restroom, as she sat on the toilet she looked up and saw the words on the mirror.

“LINDA!” She yelled. “I DIDNT LEAVE THAT! THATS THE GODDAMN LYRICS FROM THE THEME SONG FOR ‘THE KING OF QUEENS!’”

Linda didn’t know what to say; she shook her head and internally accepted defeat on this one. The couple didn’t talk about it again, the ends justified the means on this one they silently agreed; thanks Amanda.

The trio had carried on life like this for months, seven to be exact, when they heard a bang and a crash from the front door. Assuming this was yet again Amanda doing some goofy nonsense they ran downstairs to clean up the mess only to find a man standing their pointing a shotgun at them.

“You’re the dykes who got me locked up, aintcha?” Said a freshly broke out of prison Brent. “You know, usually I’m cool with like loving whoever and like rights and like equality and shit but tonight is not your night. Go sit.”

They were tied together on the couch while Brent sat channel flipping on the TV.

“Amanda is still here,” spoke Linda “she’s a ghost, at some point she’s going to help us and you’ll probably get hurt. She’s probably posting pictures on Instagram right now so she’s a little busy, but I promise when she finds out she’ll come running.”

“No she won’t.”

“Ok? So you think her post is going to get a ton of likes then?”

“She’s afraid of me.”

“Ugh are you generic ‘I beat my girlfriend’ guy number seventy or not?”

“Not.”

“Then why is she afraid of you?”

“I’m bigger than her…… I guess?”

“She’s a ghost.”

“I’m still bigger.”

​“How can you be bigger than an incorporeal being with no mass or weight?”

​“See, she doesn’t way anything.”

“You didn’t think any of this through did you?”

“Not one bit.”

“It shows. Why did you kill her?”

“Hey I’ve never been what you’d call a planner. I killed her because she broke up with me for the fiftieth time that year and all my friends were giving me a hard time about how I would just crawl back to her. I said ‘can’t crawl back to her if I kill her!’ They all thought it was funny so I did it.”

“Ah………Makes perfect sense to me.”

“A guy has to watch his reputation, right?”

They sat there watching late night infomercials in silence for another half hour. Linda nudged Melissa as she seen a phone floating around taking pictures of a floating can of soup.

Of all the ghosts in the world, why was theirs like this?

“Brent, there’s some stuff on the DVR” Linda told him.

“Good I hate infomercials. Oh yuck, ‘The King of Queens.’ I hate that show, Amanda loved it. That fat fucking heifer guy gets to make it with that babe every night. Fucking loser ass UPS guy”

They could see the phone slowly lower and start hovering towards Brent. They let him rant.

“And that Deacon guy, what a fucking idiot, he leaves his wife at one point which is silly because she’s so fucking hot.”

The can of soup hovered behind him.

“That guy that dates the ugly chick from the bowling alley, now I can’t tolerate him at all.”

The soup can shook with rage.

“He ends up living with the other guy right? Like what the fuck? Are they like a thing or not a thing? I didn’t pay enough attention. I did pretend to though to get some action every now and again, show fucking sucks though. Here I’ll do you guys a favor.”

As he deleted the episode from the DVR the can came slamming down into his head.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

They heard a voice yell “MY BONES ARE GETTING WEARY! MY BACK IS GETTING TIGHT!” As the can of cream of chicken turned Brent’s head into cream of Brent’s brains.

After the violence stopped the notebook hovered in front of them and said “Sorry, I was on TikTok, I’ll clean this up tho.”

Much like the first night that’s exactly what happened. They were untied and they watched as the mess was cleaned up. Brent’s body floated over to the ground and the can of soup was laid on the table. The phone floated over to Melissa who dialed 911.

After the legal mess was cleaned up they decided that having Amanda around maybe was not such a bad idea. No one could really kill them, it was like having a built in security system. They did eventually add a third line to their cell plan and let her set up social media for herself as a reclusive twenty something who couldn’t leave the house due to a skin condition.

Her pages were ok, they didn’t get much interaction or followers but Amanda was happy. Sometimes people would say they wanted to hang out with her because they lived close, Amanda just said her skin condition was contagious AF. No one ever thought to say “Hey, what exactly IS your medical condition?” People could be so polite sometimes.

Christmas morning as they all opened gifts Linda and Melissa cried as Amanda opened the complete series collection of “The King of Queens.” The three sat on the couch together that evening and watched all of season one.

Baby all my life I will be driving home to you.

The next day they heard a familiar song. Together they both smiled and thought that yes, there was a ghost in this house.

[hekate1308]

Signs Of Evil

I expanded this. Enjoy!

Day 30

It’s been a month since he was quick enough to find his doppelganger in the parallel world and convince him that ending his miserable existence was the way to go and saved the world before he closed the gates of Hell once and for all. Souls can still slip through – can’t allow the increase in ghost activity – but there’ll be no more demons wreaking havoc apart from those who happened to be on earth when he slammed the door shut.

It gives him plenty of time to relax and occasionally visit the boys. Things have been quiet for a while now, since he conveniently showed up to kill off Satan’s spawn and Cas was miraculously brought back to life once again, human but healthy.

He’s walking down a hallway in the bunker; Dean made it abundantly clear that he prefers it when people “knock on doors and walk through them in case I am polishing my gun” so he’s decided to fulfil that particular wish.

A noise emitting from one of the store rooms draws his attention. With a blink of an eye, he’s standing right in the middle of it, looking down at...

Oh. He is somewhat surprised the Men of Letters managed to get hold of a basilisk’s egg.

Rather risky keeping it around.

Basilisk’s eggs are very powerful and as such very valuable, but there are a few drawbacks.

For one, it’s hot and could easily set anything it touches ablaze.

Well...

Anything with a shred of decency, that is.

Because the biggest irony of all concerning basilisk’s eggs is that only evil entities – demons, angry ghosts, occasionally a witch if she manages to be as wicked as his mother was – can touch it without getting burned.

Eggs like this one also have a tendency to move on their own, probably compelled by the same instinct that makes their parents turn anyone who looks at them directly into stone.

It has managed to open its box and roll halfway across the floor.

There’s a pair of gloves and pliers lying nearby, proving the boys already know what’s up.

He reaches out and takes it in his hand.

Huh. It even feels warm for him, and that’s saying something.

He carefully puts it back in the box. As he leaves the room, Dean strolls into the hallway.

“Crowley”.

“Squirrel. I put the egg where it belongs”.

Dean catches on immediately.

“Thought I heard it. Does this about once a month... thankfully it can’t get through the door, the Men of Letters were too careful. Thanks. Can be a real son of a bitch when it wants. We haven’t found a way to destroy it yet”.

He nods. Not even he is aware of a way to accomplish that.

“You staying for dinner?”

He doesn’t need to eat of course, but he will admit that Dean is a good cook.

“Since I’m already here...”

Day 40

He’s back at the bunker again. Dean, Sam and Cas are preparing to go on a hunt and he has nothing better to do, so he tags along.

No one says anything against it when he gets into the Impala. The backseat; he doesn’t feel like fighting over riding shotgun today.

“Do you have credentials?” Dean asks when they’re half way to Iowa.

“Sure” he replies. He’s always made certain that he can get in wherever he needs to be.

“Alright then, you can take the locals.”

His badge works like a charm. The little old lady at the reception of the police station even flirts with him a little, which surprises him because it’s easy to tell she has the kind of soul that should have flinched away from him subconsciously.

There’s a reason some people never meet demons. Self-preservation is a powerful instinct, which Mrs. Grover seems to lack.

He shrugs and moves on.

It turns out to be an easy salt-and-burn, but he still hangs around because he’s got nothing else to do and at least the boys are fun.

He drives back with them to the bunker too.

And only when the case is well and truly over and he’s said his goodbyes does he stop and think and realize he just went on a hunt with no other reason than he could.

Day 70

He’s had to put the basilisk’s egg away too more times in the mean time. They thing is growing annoying; he’s less and less disposed to deal with it, but it would be far more troublesome to force the boys to use the gloves and pliers all the time.

Is it just his imagination or is it growing warmer, too? He should perhaps do some research; not that it melts its box one day. Then they’d really have a problem.

“Ah, Crowley. Great, you can help me out. What does this phrase mean?” Sam, who he’s materialized in front of, asks.

“The bone of the unborn” he reads. “I am assuming you didn’t know that babies having died during their birth was an ingredient, Moose?”

“Who is using babies as an ingredient now?” Dean asks, stepping into the library.

“Hey Crowley, didn’t expect you back so soon”.

He doesn’t sound annoyed, and really, it’s been a while since he visited them last...

A whole of three days, he suddenly realizes.

Oh well.

There’s so much time on his hand these days, and Dean just got a football for the bunker.

Day 90

He appears in the bunker’s shooting range and watches Cas fire another round.

“Bulls-eye, Feathers”.

Cas rears around, gun in his hands.

Crowley raises an eyebrow.

“That won’t work on me, I’m afraid”.

The former angel relaxes.

“Crowley”.

“Thought I’d drop in, see how you were getting by”.

Neither of them mentions he only stopped for dinner yesterday.

“Also, I put the egg back into the box... You should really look into that, it’s getting hotter”.

“Hotter?”

“Yes”.

Cas tilts his head to the side and studies him and for the first time in a long time, he can’t tell what he’s thinking.

He doesn’t tell him about the curious revulsion he feels that’s getting stronger every time he has to face the egg. Must be his imagination. And that look on his face makes him uncomfortable enough.  

Day 120

“Crowley” Dean says when they’re about to retire and he’s getting ready to say his goodbye and return to the luxurious hotel he’s currently staying in.

“We cleared this one” he points to a door, “But no loud music between the hours of two and eight am”.

And with that they leave him to... get acquainted with his own room.

Alright then.

It’s plain, simple, comfortable. Nothing like the hotel where he has room service and a huge flat screen.

He moves in immediately.

That night, the egg comes crashing down again.

He could swear it’s a few degrees hotter than the last time.  

Day 130

“Crowley. Did you bring a hell hound into the bunker?” Dean asks at breakfast. “Because I could have sworn something licked my hand in the war room.”

“Of course. You know her. Juliet.”

“Juliet... Alright, but why?”

“You gave me a room. I can’t let my girl camp outside when I have a room.”

“Your – you know what, just tell her no chewing on anything, and she’s not allowed on the couch”.  

Day 150

He can find nothing that would explain why the egg is becoming hotter every time he picks it up, but at least Cassie knows so someone’s keeping an eye on it when he’s not around.

Not that he’s gone so often. After all, they gave him a room, he might as well use it.

“Good morning – oh, Sheriff Mills. Girls”.

The sheriff looks quite well. Their date certainly did her no harm, he hopes, somewhat taken aback at his own reaction.

From what he can remember of his human life, he’s experiencing something almost like shame.

Before anyone can stop her, the one he thinks is called Claire Novak, Cas’ vessel’s daughter, marches up to him and punches him in the face.

She’s pretty strong for her age.

“Claire!” Jody calls out, clearly worried, and the others quickly move behind her.

Dean seems to be a bit conflicted as to who to shield against whom. It’s almost... touching.

The last thing he wants to do on this fine morning is provoke a fight though, especially since he’s pretty sure he’ll have to deal with the damn egg again soon.

And he did try to kill her, after all.

“I suppose I deserved that” he says mildly.

He ignores Sam’s incredulous stare.

Day 200

The egg’s almost too hot to hold now, but he can’t find a single reason in lore why it should be.

“Crowley, we’ve got a case!” Dean calls out.

He moves to find him in the hallway.

“I’m worried about the egg” he says.

“Cas told us. Don’t worry, we strengthened both the box and the door” Dean says.

He can’t feel any enhanced protection, but Dean knows what he’s talking about.

He shrugs his shoulders and forgets about it.

Day 250

“You can trust anyone in this room” Dean tells the other hunters they met on their newest case.

Of course they immediately look at Crowley. His time on the throne is still well remembered, it seems.

“I don’t know...” the woman begins, slowly. “After all you did, working with a demon...”

Dean snorts.

“Come on guys, do you really think he’d be a member of our team if we didn’t trust him?”

Talking is suddenly difficult.

It’s a strange thing to have, the trust of others.

Day 300

He can actually sleep when he puts his mind to it, and it’s a pleasant way to pass the night. Otherwise, he just waits for the boys to wake up or corrects the mistakes in the Men of Letter’s library or takes Juliet on a walk.

Even the others have got used to having to wake him for breakfast, although they were a little weirded out at the beginning (it’s not his fault he doesn’t need to breathe, and he told himself he wasn’t feeling bad when Dean came to get him and thought he was dead for a second).

So, when a crash wakes him up, he blinks and groans realizing it’s the stupid egg again. Juliet sniffles at the foot of his bed.

He just hopes it didn’t wake up anyone else. Dean is just getting used to a regular sleep schedule, and Cas still has problems drifting off now and then.

Definitely uncomfortably hot now.

Day 365

It’s been a pretty relaxing week – Sheriff Mills even came to visit and was civil to him – and he sighs when he hears the tell-tale thump from the library.

For some reason, he feels Cas’ eyes follow him as he leaves the room.

Also, he really dreads dealing with the egg, now. He must be growing soft after all

 Even without Cas’ text, he would know.

After he told them of Crowley’s worry about the egg, they did their research and there is only one explanation why someone would think the thing was too hot to touch.

And to be fair, he hasn’t considered the demon pure evil since...

Point is, Dean has been waiting for this for a while, so the crash and the curse coming from the store room don’t bother him.

Neither does the sight of Crowley, staring at his burned hand with a shocked expression on his face.

Dean picks up the gloves and the pliers and puts the egg away.

“Don’t touch it just like that again”.

He lightly touches his shoulder.

“Come on, you need that taken care of”.

From their own experience, he knows the burn will be a bitch.

As they walk towards the war room Dean says, “Being good isn’t that bad, you know”.

Crowley doesn’t say anything, but from the corner of his eye, Dean can see a small, pleased smile on his face.  

[nomorekindness]

The Hero Complex

Lets talk about heroes. Not real life heroes, I’m far too pessimistic to believe those exist. No lets talk about the fantasy heroes. The ones we watch in movies or TV shows, we read about in comics and books. I HATE THEM. Not them necessarily, but the way they are written. This “moral compass” they have is infuriating. 

Let’s talk MCU, in particular SHEILD. First of all just in case someone randomly finds this blog and reads it (HAHAHA) Spoilers. 

So this newest season of SHIELD YoYo recently slit bad girl Ruby’s throat after she took some gravitonium and was all evil and wanting to be called the “Destroyer of Worlds”. And Miss up her own ass Daisy Johnson (can we all admit how stupid her name is and call her Skye again?) is being such a judgemental bitch about it. Oh my god and Mac... you know the guy who has the shotgun with an ax built on to it... yeah he’s all “thats not what we do here”. Right he just needed some extra protection while he was chopping down a tree, you know in case of wolves. 

Lets just not. FIRST OF ALL the SHIELD team just recently got back from the future where someone called the Destroyer of Worlds (they thought it was Daisy) literally destroyed the world. This world. And the few remaining humans were all enslaved by an alien race. Sounds like fun right? Oh wait no, no it does not. While in the future YoYo meets her future self, who has been locked up for who knows how long, who has lived through her own death more times then she's willing to talk about and oh yeah who is also missing both her arms.  So when the team gets back to present time, they are all over this whole NOT destroying the world thing and they start trying to prevent it. Well here comes Ruby. A girl raised inside a secret Hydra facility who apparently has access to YouTube because her makeup is way too Kardashian for her to have picked that up in her bunker bedroom. She was basically bred to become this Destroyer of Worlds chick and she's all bad ass or whatever. Personally I think she's just an annoying little brat that needs some serious therapy. 

Well Ruby is a real bitch and like day one CHOPS BOTH OF YOYO’S ARMS OFF. So pretty much right off the bat YoYo is like “shit future me was right we all gonna die”. Cut to later when Ruby gets some gravitonium in her and she's definitely moving towards the end goal of destroying the world... so YoYo comes in and is having none of it and straight up cuts the bitches throat. BOOM YES GO YOYO!! Except wait... nope everyone is all fuckered up about it because Miss Up Her Ass is like “I was bringing her down, I was going to save her” sorry stupid fuck says what? Lets take some inventory here. Future world GONE because the Destroyer of Worlds rips it apart, killing MILLIONS. Present time said destroyer is a self involved bratty teenager that cuts off another persons arms without even a thought, then spends the next couple weeks plotting the death of MILLIONS and you think you were going to talk her down?

Oh and lets back up here. WHY IS IT THAT ALL HEROES ARE AGAINST KILLING THE BIG BAD GUYS BUT HAVE NO PROBLEM MAIMING AND KILLING ALL THE BAD GUYS LACKEYS? Honestly! Am I the only one here wondering WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I mean lets be honest the lackeys probably don’t even really know what they are doing there. They needed a job and yeah maybe they might want to rethink their life choices but they deserve the right to be given a chance too, and yet here comes said hero pummeling through all the lackeys only to get to the big bad and be like “hey dude, its cool I know you are just hungry. Here have a snickers and stop trying to kill everyone and then we can all be friends” 

I seriously want YoYo to just look at Daisy and be like “you realize you have probably killed dozens of bad guy lackeys right? Or at least maimed them to a point that they will never live a normal life again, where medical bills will cripple their families until they break” (cause you know thats better). But cool at least the big bad, the one that was actually calling the shots and made all the plans, at least they get a chance. 

COME ON WRITERS! Are you honestly telling me that if Daisy and Mac were sitting in a room with Hitler and they had a gun they wouldn't take the shot. Are you telling me they would just try to talk him into becoming a good person. “Adolf man, whats up? Why are you killing all these people? I know its been a rough life and maybe you just need someone to believe in you, someone to give you a chance. Here we are (insert big hug here)” Then pardon him for millions of deaths and make him a part of the team! One big happy family!

NOPE! They would grab that gun, shoot him right between the eyes and sleep like little angelic benadryl filled babies!  And yeah sure, some bad guys can be made into good guys. Scarlet Witch for example. She was pretty pissed at Stark, blamed him for her parents deaths and making her and Quicksilver scared for a few days. I mean clearly misplaced anger, but did she straight up murder people? Like did she just go around taking people out for funsies and then plotting to destroy the whole world? Yes there are redeemable baddies, but there are also some that you just kill. You don’t try to understand them or reason with them, you kill them and move on. 

I wonder if the Avengers plan on having a nice sit down with Thanos (I mean the ones that are left anyway) “Hey Thanos, I know your planet was destroyed, all your people suffered, all because you guys were kinda selfish and they didn't listen. But look we are not your people. We have the capacity to change. Look at us with our hybrid cars and composting. We got this man, give us a chance.” 

“Steve (cause inevitably it would be Cap that would chat with Thanos) you're right. I never thought about it like that. Ok Im cool, I’ll chill”

“Thanks buddy, now why don’t you go ahead and bring all our other friends back so we can have a super cool slumber party”

“Oh yeah no I cant, my bad, that shit was permanent. Not even going back in time can fix that”

“Well shucks, at least we tried. Shawarma?”

End Credit. THANOS WILL RETURN IN AVENGERS 5 - THE NEW GUY

[bryanclaesch]

The Top 10 Reasons Why Yang Should Be Your Favorite Character

Hey, everyone.

So to finish up my Top 10 Reasons Why This-Character Should Be Your Favorite series, we have the last member of Team RWBY, our sunny, little dragon, Yang Xiao Long. Once again, I'd like to thank my friend Michaela Roan and RWBY Wonderland admin Blake Belladonna for their help in making this list. If you want to join RWBY Wonderland, click this link: https://www.facebook.com/rwbywonderland/. And, if you guys want to make sure you don't miss the next series of RWBY posts, subscribe to my RWBY mailing list: http://eepurl.com/cWX8Fj. But if you really want to show me the love, support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.con/bryanclaesch.

Alright, then. Let's finish this bitch.



"Yang? Is that you?"

 1. "Oh! I'm so proud of my baby sister!"

Yang and Ruby make for interesting siblings. Their proportions are different, their weapons are different, their hair is different, hell, they don't even have the same last name. But despite these differences, Yang still looks out for Ruby with great enthusiasm and she's been doing so for a long time. While we aren't told exactly when, I would estimate that it has been somewhere between 10 to 12 years ago (since Volume 1) when Summer was killed. This effectively cemented Ruby and Yang together as they no longer had a mother to rely on. With Yang being the older and likely feeling guilty for nearly getting the both of them killed, it's apt to say that Yang has practically become a surrogate mother to Ruby.

Something that struck me the other day was that it's never mentioned why Yang thinks it's the best day ever that Ruby gets to go with her to Beacon. Most older siblings would be annoyed if their little brother or sister got moved so far ahead that they ended up going to school together. But not Yang--she's super excited about it. We could assume it's because Yang just has that upbeat of a personality, but it's more likely Yang is relieved that she won't have to leave Ruby behind to fend for herself. I mean, do you remember in Players and Pieces where the Nevermore filled the battlefield with its quills? Do you remember how Yang rushed to help Ruby, and then the tight hug she gave Ruby after Weiss saved her from the Deathstalker? Yang hugs Ruby a lot in Volume 1. Then there's the part in The Shining Beacon where Ruby mentions that Yang used to read to Ruby every night before bed, an activity that is usually performed by a parent.

Another strange thought I had was that because Ruby is so much like Summer and Summer was the only mother Yang ever knew, and so by cherishing Ruby the way she does, Yang is holding onto and cherishing the memory of Summer. No longer able to love her mother, Yang turns to her baby sister and makes sure to love Ruby the way Summer deserved. Hence, Yang becomes the over-doting big sister.

"Please, stop..."

 2. "I'm not asking you to stop. Just please, get some rest. Not just for you, but for the people you care about and who care about you."

Monty had an interesting idea behind introducing the characters of RWBY. It was his intention to make them all look like stock, one-dimensional characters, and then as the show went on, to fill them out. Not many writers have the balls to do that since most readers, editors, and publishers won't even give a writer the time to set something up like that. Once they look stock, no one thinks to read on or care about what happens to them in the story.

When we're introduced to Yang, she's supposed to come off as the super extraverted, quintessential party girl. Always looking for fun and always on the move. But Yang is more than that. She deeply cares about her friends and family, and their relationships are very important to her. Remember when she started crying in Destiny when she thought Blake didn't believe her for being attacked by Mercury? Yeah, a skin-deep, party girl wouldn't do that. A party girl also wouldn't have a never-ending search for the mother she never knew. While Yang could have lived her life as she saw fit and think of Raven as dead to her, she doesn't. Yang genuinely cares about her friends and family, and she feels the sting of rejection or disbelief quite deeply. All of which will make Yang and Blake's reunion very interesting to see.

3. "Wait! Yang! Is she alright?"

"Uh... She's uh... She's gonna be alright. I think she's just... I think it's just going to take some time for her to get used to things. She's too strong to let this stop her."

Yang is a strong girl. Physically, but also mentally. She has such a strong will that you could call her stubborn, such as in her fight against Neo. And while Yang did take some time getting used to only having one arm, she didn't let it interfere with her day-to-day to life, and she hated how her incident with Adam left her with PTSD. Not wanting to be pitied or looked after by Tai, she took a chance on the prosthetic arm from Atlas in an attempt to re-forge her life and achieve a degree of normality that was more normal than being without it. Something I've mentioned elsewhere is that a good indication of Yang's inner state is her hair since it's so important to her and her vision of self. When it was tied up, so was she. But when her hair flows freely, that's when she's ready to burn brighter than everyone else.

4. "Yes, Junior. I have several. But instead of 'sweetheart,' you can just call me 'sir!'"

You ever seen Persona 4: The Animation? Do you remember the scene where Yu and Yosuke are sharing a tent with Kanji and he gets irritated with them for thinking he's gay, so he declares he's going to go sleep with the girls since they had more balls than them? Yeah, Yang is one of those girls that Yu referred to when he said, "For some girls, that is true."

Whether you call it balls, confidence, daredeviltry, or brash, Yang isn't afraid of doing what needs to be done in order to achieve her objective. She'll grab a guy by the balls, she'll destroy his club, she openly declares that she'll be turning heads, and she'll put herself at risk to help her friends. Of course, though, if Yang can have fun while doing it, she's going to. Let's not forget how she giggled after being launched off the cliff in The First Step.

Yang's favorite ballet is the Nutcracker.

(Is it true that Barbara actually grabbed Jack's balls once?)

5. "You're Yang Xiao Long. My sunny, little dragon."

Whenever we see Yang, we usually see her smiling and having fun. She's very positive and upbeat, and very few things get to her. In fact, it's unusual to see her bothered by something or even hurting. When she was bested by Neo, lost to Adam, and Blake didn't believe her or worse, ran away, those were all difficult moments for her. She's not one to sweat the small stuff. She can even take a jab thrown her way about her arm and her hair. Yang is emotionally resilient, and she can almost always find a reason to smile.

I need a better system than Print Screen.

 6. Bumblebee

Did you honestly think I was talking about the ship? Well, if you read the Top 10 Reasons Why Blake Should Be Your Favorite Character you wouldn't have. (Maybe I'll do a blog post on why I hate the ship so much and why it's actually a terrible idea.)

But, anyway, Yang's got a bike. And bikes are pretty cool. While I may not like bikers for their impetuous attitudes, I find it difficult to squash my desire for a motorcycle. I have fond memories of being a kid and zipping around my neighbor on my bike. What could be better than strapping 1000 CC's of power to that experience. And so, just like with Ruby and scythes, the cool factor of Bumblebee helps make Yang cool(er). And as far as we've seen, she's a safe and responsible driver, but very capable and skilled when the time comes. Which is more than we can say for the Fake AH Crew and their talents on bikes. (To be fair though, most of those blunders are Gavin.)

7. This Porridge Is Too Cold

Just like how Ruby is a great interpretation of Little Red Riding Hood, Yang is a great interpretation of Goldilocks. In fact, I'd say Yang is a huge improvement on the original. For one, she isn't a stupid kid who committed a B&E, raided someone else's food, messed up the ass grooves on their favorite chairs, and then invited herself over for a slumber party. And the only notable thing about Goldilocks was that she was a dumb blonde and a criminal. Yang's neither of those things, and her hair has more meaning to who she is than just a color. Still though, I'd love a direct reference or joke back to Goldilocks in RWBY. The scene where she killed a couple of Ursas isn't enough.

8. "Laugh all you want. I'll be turning heads tomorrow night."

Well, I told you all it was coming, and here it is: Yang is the sexiest member of Team RWBY and possibly the whole show. Which is a bold statement considering Yang has some pretty stiff competition from the likes of Neo and Emerald. Hell, even Glynda has a number of very committed fans. But for me, the victor is Yang, and it's not just because of two very large and obvious reasons. She's got a great ass, too! No, I kid. Although it did look good in the Yellow Trailer. But the reason why I saw Yang is the sexiest character is because she has both a banging body and a fun personality. Everyone wants to have fun and we all prefer to be around pretty things rather than ugly, so that instantly makes Yang a winner across the board. True, my RWBY waifu is probably Weiss and Ruby is the most adorable, but who wouldn't want to at the very least date Yang? It'd be a good time.

Did you know that Monty based Yang's dress off one

Marilyn Monroe wore?

9. Dumbass: I'm a master of Karate! Hi-ya!

Smartass: I'm a master of Ka-chuk.

Dumbass: What's Ka-chuck?

Smartass: *Pulls out a shotgun and pumps it*

The Ember Celica. Who in their right mind would strap a shotgun to a gauntlet? I criticize, but just like combining a rifle with a scythe, it's actually a great idea. It combines a long range weapon with a short range one, and who wouldn't want to attach a shotgun to a gauntlet. I'm pretty sure a lot of people think the hidden blade from Assassin's Creed is one of the coolest things ever, so why not attach a shotgun to a gauntlet? Never mind the fact you're strapping a shotgun's recoil straight to your arm. But, hey, if we're going to get that picky, we're going to have to dismantle every weapon in RWBY. So let's just enjoy the Ember Celica as it is and imagine ourselves punching someone we really don't like with them.

10. "With each hit, she gets stronger. And she uses that energy to fight back. That's what makes her special."

Yang's semblance. The ability to take damage and then dish it back twice as hard. It's a pretty good one. Admittedly, it has some flaws and Yang isn't always strong enough to take the hit, but come on, she's a friggin' Super Saiyan! And what's more, she's a female Super Saiyan. There aren't any of those in DBZ, and if Yang could fire a Kamehameha (my autocorrect recognizes Kamehameha but not saiyan), it'd be the hypest shit. In fact, I'm kind of surprised no one has done any art of Yang using the Kamehameha. (Fan artists! Don't let me down!)

But anyway, we've all had those moments when we get so pissed, we give people that "You're so dead" face and we want the vehemence of our anger to be reflected in how hard we hit them. There'd probably be a lot fewer trolls if that was true. Too bad we aren't all Super Saiyans, but at least Yang is.

"Oh! Looks like Yang is angry. And you wouldn't like her when she's... upset."

 And there you have it. The Top 10 Reasons why Blake should be your favorite character. It you guys think I missed any, go ahead and add them in the comments below.

Keep writing, my friends.

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