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inkskinned · 2 years

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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

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tittiedshrek · 2 years

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#/personal #going on to [tumblr] be like:#anyways this is so dumb but i can't sleep and it's 12 pm let me have this #horse plinko #vanilla extract #flashing gif #< in case

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cryptidmickle · 2 months

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idk id be weird abt touching someone for the first time in a millennia too

#i think sm should be weird i think he should be touchstarved i think he should crave biting into pv like a dog-#coughs anyways #there IS something to be said about being isolated only to suddenly have someone so close that you can finally reach them #i think sm would be valid in being weird abt it okay #cookie run #crk fanart #pure vanilla cookie #shadow milk cookie #pureshadow #shadowvanilla #my drawbs

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silvykinesis · 21 days

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Little doodle of them before I start playing kh3!

#kingdom hearts #soriku #kh sora #kh riku #kh #trying to hype myself up to play it since I can’t stop playing kh2 #I finished ddd like a month ago and just instantly decided to replay vanilla kh2 whoops….#it’s my first time replaying kh3 since it came out and I remember like basically nothing so hERE GOES

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cuppajj · 5 months

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i had a vision

#id make this a full comic if i could i just need more substance #shadow milk discovering pure vanilla and black raisin's close bond and going after her... teasing her...#like i know he already has his whole thing with white lily but i bet black raisin is pretty bullyable #there are so many things about pure vanilla that smc could torment her with that she doesnt know #healer cookie huh...#anyway i know black raisin doesnt have a sword but i gave her one just for this #what was i supposed to do draw her pointing the bird at him? literally giving him the bird? LMAO #crk #shadow milk cookie #black raisin cookie #pure vanilla cookie #(spiritually)#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cjj arts #i gotta stop posting so late no one is gonna see this... anyway morning reblog inbound for sure

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blessedwithpolls · 2 years

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I love going on tumblr and being slapped in the face with some obscure meme that appears out of nowhere overnight, and then you don’t really learn what it means or where it comes from, and maybe you don’t fully understand it, but you just kinda have to play along

#like the boyfriend memes? i love them but what do they mean???#vanilla extract? what about vanilla extract?? but most importantly why is it so fucking funny???#the shrimp frying the rice?#excuse me GONCHAROV #likeeee??? you get what i’m saying??#tumblr memes #tumblr experience #boyfriend #boyfriend meme #shrimp #shrimp fried rice #goncharov #vanilla extract #eeby deeby #horse plinko #blorbo #live slug reaction #polls

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obsob · 1 year

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happy and proud!!

✷(print shop)✷

#mine #original #sm how managed 2 miss pride month....but its pride month every month in this house hold #ive read two bad YA books so far this month as a break from th 2nd farseer book but now.....i am back.........i am reading th 3rd one #its gna make my brain explode i can feel it #n then idk what i will read. maybe th hands of th emperor #could i read smth other than 800 page epic fantasy pls #the YA books werent too bad for YA but they hve that YA cringe 2 it. idk how u people read it constantly #if i hve 2 read th word 'heck' one more time #also theres always like. disney channel vibes. like i read gay YA romance n its so sanitised n vanilla. its so superficial #like i get this is for 16 year olds but were is the longing. the yearing. these guys are fanfic tropes stuck 2gether 2 glue.#also. what is with nearly every mlm romance / fantasy being YA not adult fiction. whats up w that #anyway hve a good evenin im gna do knitting!!!!!!!!!!!!

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antiqua-lugar · 1 year

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tav being canonically so attractive that people just throw themselves at them is super funny as a galemancer because like so many people in-game (and the game itself at times) call gale either annoying or pathetic straight up to his face but tav is turning down all of faerun for him. everyone desires them carnally and they are busy getting ready to be introduced to gale's cat over dinner.

#nevermind all the cheap shots about gale being vanilla and boring at sex but when you romance him he's like let's have astral sex #faerun most misunderstood relationship #like i still think mizora only wants to have sex with tav to get to wyll but imagine being mizora #but imagine her thinking she got this in the bag because she's a powerful sexy demon and she really doesn't #sorry but the game taking so many cheap shots at gale makes me obsessed with this #and like on paper his ex is still mystra so like #antiqua plays bg3 #gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3

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98chao · 2 months

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