#like I’m not making it gay they did that shit themselves

[todolist-nothing07]

There ain’t dogshit many of us can agree on, but Deadpool and Wolverine definitely fucked in the Honda Odyssey.

I think we can all agree on that.

[dimplyowl]

😩 one of the main things I see about Izzy and why he’s an innocent little lamb who has done nothing wrong is that he’s got a lot of internalized homophobia going on, as well as issues with toxic masculinity. And yeah, OFMD is all about taking those toxic societal expectations and telling them to shove themselves up their asses. And I think having a character who has those internalized feelings and who holds onto them until being proven that they’re wrong is an interesting character arc. Growth is a great thing! We love to see it!

The problem comes when people use those characteristics as excuses for any of izzys bad behaviors, as if they give him a free pass to do whatever he wants to do. But that’s not how these things work. The problem I have with Izzy’s character arc in s2 is that he doesn’t do anything to make reparations until his deathbed apology to Ed. He just kind of…continues to be there, ignoring Ed, letting the crew extend kindness to him and still not really engaging until Calypso’s Birthday.

You know who has done some really shitty things and does actually work toward making reparations? Ed. And that’s another thing I see a lot of Izzy fans say: that gb people give Ed a free pass for everything he did because of his childhood and his trauma and his self hatred and broken heart. But babes, when we talk about these issues, you’re misunderstanding why we’re talking about them. I obviously can’t speak for all Ed fans, but the majority of us aren’t listing these issues as excuses, we’re naming them as reasons for his behavior. So we can understand why he feels the way he feels and did the things he did.

I am fully aware that he did some really shitty things to people who care about him and who he cares about. I acknowledge that. I also know why he did them. And knowing why doesn’t make it okay. It helps me understand him more, and to know that he wasn’t doing them because he enjoyed them and, most importantly, that they’re things he regrets doing. That’s obvious throughout the entirety of eps4-6, in his hesitance to return to the ship, in agreeing to wear a burlap sack and allowing Lucius to push him over the ship, in taking time to actually listen to fang about his own experiences during the kraken era. It’s part of the entire reason they have a party, it’s part of turning poison into positivity. Ed doesn’t have great apology skills. His “apology” speech was definitely lacking as far as our modern standards are concerned. That’s fine. Those aren’t natural skills to have, they’re learned, and he never really had the opportunity to learn them. But you can see that he wants to, and he’s trying and he’s learning, and that’s the most important thing.

Izzy doesn’t do that shit. In season 1 he uses his position of power to bully the crew, to go against Ed’s orders (his captains orders; that’s essentially mutiny right there); he loses and turns his captain and a ship full of queer and poc to the cops; he then becomes captain and it takes less than a day for the crew to mutiny on him because he’s a fucking asshole and no one wants to work for him; and to top it all off, he tells his boss—his friend, supposedly, his depressed and already established to be suicidal friend—that he would be better off dead than be like he is.

Where are his attempts at reparation? Where does he turn around and say “yeah calling the cops on you was fucking horrible and I shouldn’t have done it” or “I shouldn’t have said those things when you were already struggling” or “I’m sorry for taking advantage of my power and using it to bully and abuse my employees and another captain’s crew.”? He doesn’t do any of that. He doesn’t even try.

Internalized homophobia doesn’t make intimidating your gay subordinate or calling your friend a “namby pamby in a silk dressing gown” okay. Toxic masculinity doesn’t make repeatedly insulting someone for having traditionally feminine traits and interests okay. Doing those kinds of things can never be okay. But recognizing these as faults and actively working to improve yourself and grow and apologize to the people you’ve hurt and try to make things better does make it more likely for the people who care about you to forgive you.

[mixedup-sideblog]

41 letters…what the fuck.

The charges listed against Peck:

- SA of a person under 16.

- SA by foreign object.

- SA oral.

- SA with use of anaesthesia or controlled substance.

- Using a minor for SA.

- Sending harmful matter.

Drake Bell was sexually tortured by this man when he was only 15 years old and 41 pieces of shit wrote this kind of crap in support of his abuser….

James Marsden:

“I do intend to shed light on the fact that he has learnt his lesson…the earth would fall from the sky before Brian would think about doing something like this again.”

- ahh don’t worry everyone, James is pretty sure he would never drug and r*pe a child again so let’s just let him off on this one!

Taran Killam:

“Brian is fully aware of his misjudgement and takes full responsibility.”

- poor old Brian making that minor misjudgement when he decided to prey on a child, turn him against his father, against his family, isolate him and groom him then repeatedly SA him. Don’t worry he’s stepping up and taking full responsibility!

Joanna Kerns:

“There must have been some extreme situation or temptation exerted upon him.” and “ I would hire him today to work with children.” And "a good man that made a mistake, not a bad man who got caught."

- see that’s all it was poor Brian could not resist the extreme temptation, of course blame the 15 year old victim not the fucking adult, it’s always the same bullshit from these people I swear.

Ron Melendez:

“I also know the young man…I have met his family, seen his behaviour…I saw him pursue a friendship with Brian, maintain their close ties…Brian made a large mistake but it was not his alone.”

- surprise, more victim blaming, more trivialising. A mistake is forgetting to lock your door or putting salt in your tea instead of sugar…repeatedly r*ping a child is not a fucking mistake - it’s a fucking crime!

Tom DeSanto:

“Brian is ashamed and remorseful about his lapse in judgment.” and “ I met Drake…he seemed very fearful of his father and unable to communicate with him whatever sexual issues he was going through”

- again - broken record here but r*ping a child is not a bloody lapse in judgment! And again - victim blaming and suggesting his family were at fault!

Will Freddie:

“I can only reiterate how devastated Brian is and how these past events have forever changed him.”

- well thank god Brian is so devastated that he got caught - poor thing. The threat of prison probably has ‘forever changed him’ but I’m sure his inability to stop himself from SAing kids has done far more significant damage to his victims (and yes I believe he has more than Drake).

Kimmy Robertson:

“An outrageous, overtly gay, over-sexed person…he totally took advantage of Brian’s willingness to help.”

- the amount of victim blaming in these letters, particularly this one, is just astounding. The 15 year old boy took advantage of the 40 something year old man? Do you really truly believe that Kimmy? I’ll say it again for the billionth time - What. The. Fuck.

And this is just the snippet, there are 34 more letters - all I’m sure are variations of the above examples. The fact that we live in a world where these people not only do and get away with this shit all the time but also are supported so wholeheartedly when they’re exposed for doing it, is quite frankly terrifying.

I do not accept - we did not know the extent of what we were defending as an excuse here. You knew the charges it’s even clear in the letters themselves - you know it’s about the SA of a child (a child some of you even knew personally), you decided to disregard them, defend them or downplay them. You are only coming out now with weak-ass apologies because you have to - in reality you never thought those letters would see the light of day outside the court room.

I’m sorry but the amount of victim blaming, trivialising and excusing here is just more proof to be added to the huge pile of evidence that Hollywood is a cesspit, it does not care about victims, it does not care about children.

If anyone is still in doubt about the amount of systemic CSA in Hollywood please go and watch An Open Secret (whole thing is on YouTube)- a movie that they desperately tried to bury but is just as hard hitting as ‘Quiet on Set.’

[physalian]

Another 5 Character Types the World Needs More of (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2

I did not expect these two posts to continue getting notes. So. Here’s some that didn’t make the cut and a few new ones.

1. Character who is immune to everyone else’s bullshit

This can either be funny or a breath of fresh air. I’m talking your drama cast of 15 all losing their minds over “he said/she said” and fixating on so many ridiculous and arbitrary problems… meanwhile Chuck over here is skinned with teflon and completely immune to tropes like manufactured miscommunication or drama, who’s juuust shy of being genre savvy to Get Shit Done like this is their second time around the block and they are not happy to be back.

The first one to pop into my head is Soundwave from TFP. He has no voice actor for 99% of the show and doesn’t have a face and is only the focus character for like, 2 episodes, but whenever he’s on screen you can just see “I’m surrounded by idiots” playing on repeat in his head. This con is brutally efficient, never messes up, and is never wrong and while everyone else is caught up on ladder-climbing and revenge quests, Soundwave is over here vibing and keeping the whole cause together.

2. The Femme Fatale, but a man

This is not sexy suave abusive asshole hero you’re supposed to root for, who’s a male power fantasy. This is literally the exact same trope, but a man. Meaning, he gets the same revealing uniform, the same “I’m letting you think you’re in charge but really I’m pulling all the strings”. Crucially, he’s straight, because most of them are gay-coded (because the man being in the submissive, ‘girly role’ is horrifying, he must be gay). This dude weaponizes toxic masculinity, making the villains extremely uncomfortable and throwing the villain’s own power fantasy back in their face.

This dude unabashedly flirts with his captors just to get in their heads, removes all concepts of personal space, and makes straight villains seriously question their sexuality. He has social engineering down to a science. I’m sure there’s one that exists, but every one I can think of is already queer-coded and that’s not good enough. So just. Black Widow. But a man.

3. Mary Sue/ Gary Stu who becomes the villain

Since these characters are the product of insecurity and lack of self-awareness… the example for this trope is Titan from Megamind. This character is absolutely the hero of their own story, practically perfect in every way. They think they’re the best at everything without trying, flawless in features and personality, and everybody loves them. And genuinely, they are just that good.

So good, that they live long enough to become the villain. Obviously people who write Mary Sues with full sincerity have no idea that anything’s wrong or problematic, but a genuine Mary Sue whose perfection is their greatest flaw without them even realizing it would be an interesting villain because I’m getting sick and tired of “sympathetic” villains who are really starting to feel like excuses for abusers to be abusive because they were smacked around as a kid.

4. Paragon who is wrong, but also right?

Apparently I’m in a Transformers mood today. There’s an episode where the Autobots’ medic/second in command does the whole “desperate scientist tests their invention on themselves with horrible results” trope and he gains the strength and speed he otherwise hasn’t had in like, eons, and starts kicking ass and taking names (and committing war crimes) to the point where his team is like “uh, buddy, slow down a bit, you’re starting to act like a Decepticon”.

The best part of that episode is where Ratchet (medic) completely unloads on Optimus about how he’s too soft, about how he’s had a million chances to end the war and murder Megatron (which is true) and yet Optimus lets the window pass again and again still hoping for Megatron’s redemption… while in the process, countless Autobots keep dying, collateral keeps happening, all because Optimus is stubborn and won’t just get it over with.

We know Ratchet is right, because throughout the next season, Optimus is a bit more… shall we say, ruthless, in trying to legitimately end the war, Megatron’s redemption be damned. But that episode ends with Ratchet nearly dying when trying to kill Megatron himself, and understanding that the Autobots are Autobots for a reason, because they’re “good,” and sinking to the enemy’s level won’t be a good foundation for a peaceful post-war survival of their species. Point being, sometimes being a Paragon is an incredibly selfish virtue.

5. Parents who know what’s up

So, while I am a firm supporter in the dead parent cliché because parents are super inconvenient sometimes, when it’s not that kind of story and the parents are a big part of the plot… while also being idiots (like Disney and Nickelodeon sitcoms circa 2008), just to make the kids sound smarter, it’s just been done to death. Everything you could think of, your parents probably did when they were your age so having competent parents in the plot as a well-meaning obstacle that continues to surprise the hero is pretty rare in stuff like YA. Usually it’s “I must lie to them to keep them safe” meanwhile Sally Jackson is over here murdering her husband with Medusa’s severed head.

They don’t have to join the hero team, but parents painted as bumbling idiots is a disservice to the mischievous teenagers they used to be. Or just the parent who really does know the kid better than they do, like when kids anxiously come out and the parent is like “honey I knew since you were 3 let’s go get ice cream”. I didn't watch Glee but that one dad who was like "son all you wanted was a pair of sensible shoes, I knew." So yeah. Smart parents. More please.

[izzytheloser12]

~~~~ More kaishin incorrect quotes~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi*

Kaito: Dom or sub?

Shinichi: I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though.

~~~~~~

Kaito: You look good in that hoodie.

Shinichi: You know where else I'd look good?

Kaito, zero hesitation: My bed.

Shinichi, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Kaito: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Shinichi: WHAT

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.

Kaito: Shinichi, that’s gay.

Shinichi: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

~~~~~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi part 2*

Kaito: I like your new pants!

Shinichi: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Kaito: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Shinichi: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Kaito: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Shinichi: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Kaito.

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: You know, Kaito, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi, why are you crying?

Shinichi: This book is so sad!!

Kaito, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Shinichi: your life is really sad kaito

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Shinichi: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Kaito, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Kaito: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Shinichi: But you’re always acting stupid?

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Did it hurt when you fell-

Kaito: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Shinichi: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Kaito: ...

Shinichi: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Shinichi: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Bonjour, Kaito. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Kaito: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Shinichi: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

Kaito: WHAT

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Kaito: This is a lie.

Kaito: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

Kaito: HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I'm at a loss for words!

Kaito: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Shinichi yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Why are you like this??

Shinichi: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

~~~~~~

Kaito, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice

Shinichi, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!

~~~~~~

Shinichi: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Kaito: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Shinichi: Holy shit-

~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi and I are no longer dating.

Shinichi: Kaito, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

[romanarose]

If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 1

Javier Peña x sex worker!informant!Reader/OC x Santiago Garcia

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Summary: Javier has his ladies, and you are one of his favorites. When he gets a new partner to take down Lorea, a man 10 years younger than him, Javi suggests the boy let off some steam with a prosititute, Javi was not expecting Santi to find his favorite girl.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it.

For the record, this is a fic that takes place in the drug trade and deals with the darker side of humanity, so anything from Narco's and Triple Frontier is liable to be discussed or mentioned here. This is your warning. This is not a dark fic nor is it centered around darkt hemes like Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, but they are open to be talked about.

Reader has a nick name: Candy. Not her real name just what she goes by on her profession. Much of the inspo for this and for the title came from the Bruce Springsteen song “Candy’s room” so check it out for the vibes.

Reader speaks Spanish and had hair, might be considered Latina coded but given it's a fic taking place in Colombia that much can be gleaned anyway.

4.1K Words. Plenty of perspective shifts from reader javi and santi. When told from javi and santis pov it’s third person and reader is referred to as she/her and candy

***************

When Javier came inside you, it was quicker than usual. He must be on a time crunch. Not that you were complaining, Javier had gotten you off and that was more than most clients did, seeing as they were paying for their orgasm, not yours. It was only fair, it’s not like you were in this business for fun, you were trying to survive. 

And survive you had! You’d done better for yourself than many of your fellow prostitutes, able to get out of a brothel where you were pimped out by shitty men who took more than their fair share of your money and a little side action for themselves. You’d saved up enough money to rent an apartment where you could do your own business for yourself and answer to no man except the ones who paid for your time. Being beautiful helped in this business, absolutely, but there were no lack of pretty girls, many of the workers on the streets and in brothels were plain or just ugly. It didn’t matter to the men who were just looking for a 5 minute fuck. Where your skills came was the inter-person. Sex, for most people anyway, was better when there was a connection of some sort; even those big scary drug lords like many of those you serviced liked to feel human connection, needed to know you wouldn’t laugh at them for their weird kinks, and sometimes just wanted to talk.

That is, you suspected, is why Javier Peña fucked you instead of the other girls around. Well, he definitely fucked other girls. But you got a good chunk of his time.

“Damn, Javi,” You laugh as he sets you down from where he had you up against the wall. “Only one position this time? You getting old?”

He laughs, breathless, making sure you were steady on your feet before he walked over to his pants. “Definitely old, but that’s not why. Gotta be up early to meet my new partner.” Javier, dark and gorgeous and a man of few words, yanked up his pants loose over his petite hips and pulled his pack of cigs and lit it before tossing them in your direction. You didn’t smoke a lot, but cigarettes after sex with Javi always hit just right. 

“Good luck with that. You’ve ran off the last 6.” Javi wasn’t the nicest man in the DEA, you knew; he wasn’t exactly loved and people weren’t jumping to work with him. Well, men weren’t anyway. 

A few years ago, he had a partner, Steve, and the two had gotten along damn well. Since then, Javi’s been going through partners like crazy. In the years since Pablo Escabar’s fall, cocaine has not stopped. You’d know, given that you’d partook just last weekend at an event.

“He’s gonna be the worst yet, I just know it.” Javi grumbled before taking a long drag and sitting on the couch where you joined him, legs propped up over his. “Some fresh-faced dumbass kid that’s never seen what the world is like outside his moms tits.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him. You’d never do that with other clients; they needed to feel important, listened to. Javier didn’t care about that. “How old?”

“25.”

You laugh right in his face. “25 is hardly a kid, my brother had seen it all by the time he was 15!”

“Yeah, that’s because your family-” He stopped, looking to you before deciding better than to complete that sentence. “Never mind,” Javi muttered.

“Smart boy.”

*

Javier Peña wouldn’t describe himself as hard to work with.

Others would, however.

Sometimes they took issue with his womanizing, but Javier contested this, saying he always paid the women more than fair, never seduced married women, never pressured or coerced.

 He simply paid women for what they had, and instead of them spending the night with some asshole who wanted a quick fuck, someone who might hurt them, or an otherwise unpleasant night, they got to spend it with him. Not that Javi thought he was hot shit, but at least he could treat the girl right, make them cum. Additionally, he watched out for the women he slept with. Not all were his informants, but all of them could call him if they were in trouble.

The rest of them just couldn’t do what it took and couldn’t fire back what Javi shot out, not like Steve. Asshole. Asshole for leaving him. 

This kid was going to be no better, but at least he could speak spanish.

He hoped.

Last name was Garcia, but those American’s often can’t speak their mother tongue, especially if they are third generation.

The boy that walked in was already annoying him with his stupid mustache. Javi’s mustache wasn’t stupid, let’s get that straight. He looked good in a mustache. This kid looked stupid.

“Agent Garcia, nice to meet you.” The boy looked nervous as he reached a hand out to him.

“I’m not calling you that.” Great start, Javier. Great start.

“Oh. Uhhhh…”

“I’m Javi.”

“Santi, I guess.”

Santi looked a little deflated, he was probably looking forward to being called ‘Agent Garcia’, and Javi only felt a little bad. He remembered being that fresh-faced kid, so he threw him a bone. Javier leaned against his desk, arms crossed. “What brought you out here, Garcia?”

He brightened up just a bit at being referred to by his last name at least. “Just got out of the military, special ops.” He said proudly. “Wanted to come back to my mom’s home country, make a difference.”

Interesting bit of lore, there, and Javi couldn’t decide if it made him like the kid more or not. One one hand, the comment about his mom with a twinkle in his eye was endearing, but just showed that naivete he had. On the other, being in special ops was no small accomplishment and he was certain Santi had seen at least his fair share of death.

“No woman keeping you down?”

“No sir,” he stood with his hands clasped tight behind his back as if Javi was his drill sergeant. “My work doesn’t leave much time for that sort of thing.”

Javi wondered briefly if he was a virgin, he’s met a few military types who were into their later years, but decided it was none of his business.

That didn’t last long.

Santi did fine. It was fine. Better than fine, actually, and after a few months the DA was less irritated with Javi running off men and put the pair on a case; something he hadn’t had since Escobar. Gabriel Martin Lorea was someone who had made one hell of a name for himself in recent years, many considering him a successor to Escabar, but Lorea had yet to dip his toes into politics the way his predecessor had, and Lorea would never be too powerful without is fingers in the pockets off government and lobbyists and media. Maybe he just didn’t have the charm Escabar had, the ability to manipulate and sway… Gabriel Lorea was, from all accounts, handsome, but, according to the women Javi slept with and absolutely not Javi himself, too handsome to gain people's trust.

Javi didn’t hate Santi, he did good work and had skills to match, but christ the boy was optimistic, he tended to believe the best in people and that had gotten them into some problems as well, but nothing so much that Javier had taken issues with the kid, not when Santi was able to get them out of there alive.

 It was nice, honestly, to have someone he could talk to just a little bit. He’d be lying if he said it hadn’t gotten lonely, and it took a lot for Javier to swallow his pride and call Steve, but luckily Steve took mercy and just called him once a month or so. 

Thing was, sometimes Santi got a little pent up, his polite and calm demeanor slipping and taking it out of Javi usually. 

“Jesus, Garcia, what’s up with you?”

Santi had snapped at Javi over a joke Javi made about Santi putting sugar in his coffee. He had a guilty look as soon as he was chastised, looking like a caught kid. 

“Sorry, Javi…”

“Oh come on” He ruffled the young man’s curls before Santi shoved him away to smooth them down again. “What’s on your mind, someone play with your Flash Gordon action figures?”

“You have no idea what kids play with, do you?”

Javier just cocked an eyebrow at him, and Santi continued.

“Just been stressed is all.”

Thinking back to their first conversation, Javi wondered when the last time Santi got some was. He was a good looking guy, that was just obvious, didn’t have to be gay to figure that out, and he had a good job. There was no reason he couldn’t  get a one night stand, a girlfriend, or a damn wife if he wanted. Santiago was kind, empathetic, and the nice smile that women would fall head over heels for; Santi doesn’t see how the girls swoon over him, even Colleen who was well over Javier’s antics.

“When was the last time you got your dick wet.”

Santi’s coffee went everywhere, staining his cream colored shirt and the nice slacks he refused to trade in for jeans like Javier did.

“W- I- WHAT?!”

He was laughing so hard, Javi couldn’t fucking get a reply out for a minuet, every time Javi looked over to Santi, covered in coffee and eyes wide in horror, he kept laughing more. When he finally calmed down, Javi tossed over some napkins. “Sex, Santi. Sex. It’s normal we all do it. Or maybe you don’t, which is why I’m asking.”

Santiago wouldn’t look at him, shuffling a bit as he tried to dab himself clean. “Well… well it maybe- it might have… it might have been a while.”

“Garcia.” Javier turned to face Santi, attempting to catch his eye. “Man. How long’s it been? A few months? Since you came here.”

He muttered something, and at first Javi wasn’t sure he heard right.

“What was that?”

“Three years?”

Javi about spit out his own coffee after that. Three years? Javier didn’t like going more than three days!

“Are you kidding me?”

“Oh fuck off.” Santi was none too pleased with the prodding, but Javi followed after him, teasing his way down the hall. “It’s gotta be for lack of trying, isn’t it?”

“Go away!”

“Pretty boy like you, all you gotta do is walk down to a bar and ladies will be throwing themselves at you!”

“Fuck off!”

“You could just do it the old fashioned way.”

Santi stopped, turning on a heel so fast Javi crashed into him, too distracted by his goading.

“What does that mean?”

“Hire a woman. Or a man. Or a few, I don’t pass judgment.” He smirked, knowing the teasing was working.

A look of disgust crossed his face, youthful features crinkling. “A prostitute?” He was whispering.

“Yeah Garcia, a PROSTITUTE.” An intentional shout to embarrass the blushing virgin. “It’s not a dirty word, amigo.”

Santi’s eyes went wide at Javi’s emphasis, looking around to see if he had been caught. “How are you so casual?” He still spoke quietly.

Undisturbed, Javi once again leaned against a wall, shrugging. “World’s oldest profession. Nothing dirty about it. Well, if you’re using condoms, anyway.” He smirks.

It took a minute for Santi to process what he had just said. “You mean… You…” He couldn’t say it outloud.

Javi’s laugh was loud and boisterous. “Hired hookers? Yeah, of course I have.”

“I figured you could just… um… well, pick up women.”

There was a swell of pride to Javi’s words that the man thought that much of him. “I can, trust me. But to woo a woman, to find someone that wants you, trusts you enough, is enthusiastically willing… It's a long game, sometimes. A game I am more than willing to play, sometimes; I do enjoy willing a girl over, watching her open up for me, blossom… hmmmm…” He got a little distracted, words wandering off.

“I get the picture.” He said with a grimace. 

“Well, the point is, if I’m doing that, I’m doing it right. Taking my time. With hookers, I just gotta pay ‘em. Don’t worry, I make sure they enjoy their time too” Javi winked, eliciting a gag from Santi before they both went back to work.

*

A worm had been planted in Santi’s head, that was for sure. His dry spell and overall lack of experience in general was more for lack of trying than anything else. In the army, he was so career oriented, signing up for an initial 3 year term at 17 right out of high school, and quickly working his way up. When the time came to enlist for 7 years or quit and have a civilian life he never knew, the choice was easy, especially when he was promised a spot on an special ops team with his best friend. 

For 5 years he saw all the beauty and horror the world had to offer him, and was so focused on his career, so intent on making his way to general, nothing else in the world mattered. Not gambling, not women, not drugs or alcohol or any of the vices his brothers-in-arms surrounded themselves with. He’s seen his fair share of war, having of course been sent to Vietnam a few times, but his team wasn’t meant to die in a field in bloody masses like how the US government saw the poor teenagers they sent off to die in the war, they upheld: special, different, better. Santi didn’t feel better, that’s for sure. He certainly didn’t feel good watching people die on either side, nor did it make him feel special when he learned of the horrors mnn in camps would inflict on the local villagers just trying to survive. It didn’t make him feel special when Santi tried to tell his commander, Redfly, what was going on with the other men, what they were doing, and Redfly crushed him off as spoils of war… So he, Catfish, Benny and Ironhead became more and more secluded, unable to put an end to what was happening and only able to stop what they actually knew about. That’s why the four of them were so close, he supposed.

But they were never there for long. The army spent too many resources on them to put a gun in their hand and leave them to die in the jungle, no, they had no covert operations, things the CIA didn’t want out. By the end of things, Santi had dealings with Russia, Cuba, Korea, Germany, China, Japan, Chile, anywhere there was a whisper of communism that the powers that be decided were more important than everyone starving in the US, Santiago Garcia was there.

He put up with it, because he needed to, because he was going to work his way up, get in positions of power. He wouldn’t be like Tom and let rape run rampant in his men. He would keep moving up, and change things for the better. He wanted to help people.

In the end, getting shot in the neck was a good thing.

They thought he was done for, Tom telling the others to just leave him when he was shot and bleeding out but Ironhead lifted Santo over his shoulders and carried him out of the warzone himself. In the end, after hours of surgery, Santi lived, although he was never the same physically. He was honorably discharged, him and Ironhead meteled up for their silence, and with that Santi, or Pope as he’d been called was sent on his way.

“Are you able to tell me where you’re at?” Santi spoke over the phone. His old teammate, Catfish, had called him. Santi couldn’t really call any of them, he never knew where they were. Sometimes they didn’t either.

“No, sorry.”

“Not even a clue?”

“Pope, you know these phone calls are all monitored.”

“Yeah I know.”

There was a long silence. There often was, between them. When Ben called, he happily chattered away on the other line. When it was Will, there was always good back and forth. With Frank, however, his oldest friend, there was often silence, but it was always comfortable. They enjoyed just existing with each other. Frankie was a troubled man himself, and part of the reason Santi went where he went. He knew, in the end, Frank made his own choices, but a part of him held a personal anger towards the drug trade for what it sucked his friend into. 

“Frank, you ever… hire a prostitute?”

Another pause. “Sometimes. You?”

“No. My partner suggested it, he said I was a little.. Uptight.”

Frankie laughed at that, and unlike Javi he didn’t feel like he was being laughed at. Frankie never laughed at you, only with. “Yeah, sounds like you.”

“Hey now.”

Frankie thought for a minute. “Wouldn’t be the worst idea. Even Will went a few times.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, even the man of steel needs some love’n. I got the notion it was more time with his face between their legs and talking than anything else. I think he was mostly lonely.”

“You hire a hooker just for company? Seems dumb.”

“You hire a woman to listen to you, compliment you, let you feel some human connection, a feminine touch for once. Getting your rocks off is just a bonus.”

“So you think I should?”

“Look, I’m not gonna tell you to blow money on what you could probably get for free. I’ll just say… buy a condom.”

“Lot of condom talk these days.”

“Yeah, lack of condom talk is how I ended up with your goddaughter.”

“Wouldn’t trade her for the world.”

*

How does one go about finding a prostitute? It was like drugs… you kinda just needed to know someone already, or maybe run into them on the street. 

Or maybe you steal your partner’s contact list. 

Javi wasn’t subtle, that was for sure, and he had a whole separate section just for prostitutes… classless, that man. Santi flipped through the name, looking at the assortment of addresses and numbers as his heart thrummed against his chest. If he was being honest, he probably could just asked Javi for a recommendation, but he’d never get through the humiliation of it all, and Javi would never drop the subject. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, exactly. It wasn’t like the names had pictures next to them and Javi wasn’t quit crass enough to put “Lupe, 28, hot, big tits, no ass, dick sucking 7/10”, to Santi’s slight surprise. Maybe he remembered each of them, their best and worst traits. Maybe it didn’t matter as long as he got off… 

Santi flipped through to the end, then flipped back. Then through again and back again until he was starting to feel like this was a bad idea. Just pick one, dumbass. he told himself. Go in, cum, get out. He continued his downward spiral of self loathing and insecurity until he decided to just open the book and write down the first name he saw.

Candy.

*

When Santi stood at the door, waiting to knock until exactly 9:00 PM, he was debating turning around. She sounded nice enough on the phone, a voice that put him at ease, but now facing the door… he wanted to run. 

And he almost did. Actually, he tried too,turning around and ready to make a break for it when the door opened.

“Diego?”

Oh yeah. The fake name he had given her. Santi turned around. She was beautiful, stunning even, with dark red lipstick complimenting your reflection. He wondered how she was supposed to give a blowjob with lipstick like that. Did she give blowjobs? Did prostitutes have stuff they didn’t do? Of course they do, pendejo, they’re people too. Santi’s shame at his own inner monologue must have translated to his face, guilt that what he was… what was the word his sister used? Objectifying? Was he making her out to be a thing for his pleasure instead of a woman? Was he part of the problem? His older sister had made him read a few feminist theory books back in the day. She didn’t want him growing up to be a bastard like their dad. Did his dad ever hire prostitutes?

“Are you a cop?” She said, snapping Santi out of his daze.

“Uh….” Fuck. He could lie, couldn’t he? Did she know? He looked down at his clothes to check he wasn’t wearing his badge or anything. Smooth move. “No?” Great job.”

You cross your arms and cock and eyebrow. “Then you gotta proposition me, Diego.”

He blinked. “Huh?”

“If I say it and you’re wearing a wire, I go to jail again and I doubt my friend can pull strings a 4th time, so. You make the proposition and then you can’t charge me, since it’s entrapment.”

Santi briefly wondered where she learned this, but when the weight of her words struck, he found himself with a new problem. “You… you want me too…”

A small smile crept up her face, causing her lips to twitch. “You can say it, you’re a big boy. Or at least out here you are. You wanna be babied in there,” She nods inside her room. “Well, that’s no one’s business.” Punctuating the sentence with a wink, she waits for him.

Everything felt warm all of a sudden, his mouth dry and thick and he almost couldn’t do it… but the way she looked right now… he needed her.

“Do you… want to… have sex?”

“For?”

Now he was confused. “For?

“Yeah, what am I exchanging the sex for, because you might be handsome, but it sure isn’t love. Yet.” Another wink.

“Oh! Uh… do you want to have sex… for… money?”

Santi watched as all her features relaxed, a bright smile illuminating her face and the whole room along with it. “Perfect! It sounds fucking stupid, I know, but I need to get it out of the way with new clients. Come on in, Diego.”

Candy took Santi into her room, and was surprised by the look; all around him were wall to wall posters and printed out pictures of idols spanning decades. Farrah Fawcet, Don Henly, Judy Garland, James Dean, Stevie Nicks, Mae West, Shirley Temple, Rock Hudson…

“You like ‘em?” She asked, watching him.

“Yeah… it’s quite a collection. Whose that?” He pointed to a picture in sepia tone  of a pretty girl with red curls, heart shaped lips, and thin, drawn on eyebrows.

Candy stepped up next to Santi. “Clara Bow, the original ‘It’ girl of Hollywood, a silent movie star. Lived a hell of a life too. Friend died in her arms, was sexually abused, suicide attempt, addiction… survived it all.”

“That’s incredable…” Santi’s amazement wasn’t faked.

“All these people are inspiring to me in some way or another.”

“I like… I like the James Dean one.”

She smiled at that. “I bet you would, handsome.” The picture was of James Dean laying on a motorcycle, smoking, of course. “You got a motorcycle, guapo?”

He couldn’t help but blush at the nickname. “No, a fun idea in theory… but maybe a bit too wild for me.”

“But hiring a hooker isn’t?”

Despite his desire to look cool, calm and collected, Santi gave a blushing smile. “You got me there.” 

“Now.” With grace, Candy slid right up to Santiago, touching his arms. “I take it this is your first time with a sex worker.” Her smile was soft and reassuring.

Santi let out a breath, allowing himself to ease into her touch; she was good at this, somehow looking that goddamn hot and still managed to make him feel secure, safe. “That obvious, huh?” He chuckled.

Cocking her head to the side with a sly smile, Candy’s red-painted lips drew him in as she spoke. “Professional intuition. What brings you here?”

“Uhhhmmmm… sex?”

“Be honest” Her tone… it struck him down to his core, pulling at all his mommy issues. He wanted her to tell him exactly what to do from here on out.

He cleared his throat. “Well… been a bit of a dry spell, and… well… maybe a general lack of experience in general.” Santi’s embarrassment caused him to look away, but Candy gently grabbed his chin, no doubt feeling the stubble on his face from his day off. 

“No need to be shy, pretty boy.” Candy held his gaze, mystifying him more with every second she seemed to bare into his soul, knowing all the parts of him he tried to keep secret. He was baring his soul without a word. “We’re gonna get to know each other really well here.”

***************

I HOPPPPPE YOU LIIIIIIIIKKEEEEEEEEE

Im v worried bc the tag list is already so long lololololol im scared I wont live up to the hype. (Also although I've written a lot for santi ive never written for Javi before and havnt even seen all of narcos)

thank you to @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction for helping me proofread!

I'll have a masterlist up soon bc my dearest mona is making me a moodboard bc she's the bestest

Comment to be added to the tag list!

Reblogs help spread the work, comments mean the world!

tagging everyone who asked to be atgged or showed interest in this, if you arent interested anymore just lmk and ill stop tagging you!

@runa-falls @lunar-ghoulie @campingwiththecharmings @whatthefishh @itspdameronthings @persephone-girl @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @beelzebeth87 @pimosworld @millerscoffee @heareball @thatwonderouswoman @poolbool @meveispunk @lovable-liar @millllenniawrites @read-and-wip @missdictatorme @the-fox-den @milkymoon2483 @k-ra @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rosellacwrites @legendary-pink-dot @dreamingofbucky @tieronecrush

[blueicequeen19]

The King

Warnings: implied non-con, threats

You shove him in the chest, the smug smirk only infuriating you further. Rafe Cameron really was an arrogant bastard. Parading around OBX like he owned the fucking place. Looking down on everyone like he was some king in his palace.

You didn’t understand why girls threw themselves at him. He was a smooth talker but that didn’t change the shitty behaviors or bad things he’d done.

Did everyone just forget he was accused of murder? Or that he’d been abusive to his sister, Sarah? It’s like everyone forgets about someone being a piece of shit when they’re flaunting their money around.

That’s what’s happening tonight.

Rafe is hosting another loud stupid party at Tannyhill and I’m the annoying neighbor complaining about the noise. I just didn’t expect to get corned by the king himself when he insisted going somewhere quiet to talk.

“What’s your problem? You’ve had it out for me forever and you don’t even know me.” Rafe smirks, advancing on me until my back hits the wall. The way he looked at you made your skin crawl.

“Word travels when you live on an island. Now get away from me.” You push against him but he doesn’t budge, only looking down at you with amusement.

“You’re the only girl here not fawning over me. You don’t like a handsome, wealthy, established man? Are you gay?” He tips your chin up so you snap your jaw at him, making him grin wider at your failed attempt to bite him.

“You wouldn’t have shit if your dad hadn’t died so don’t play that bullshit. You didn’t do all this yourself.” You almost instantly regret it as the smile drops from his face and his jaw clenched. You open your mouth to spit more fire when his hand is suddenly around your throat, his nose almost brushing yours as he leans in.

“That mouth of yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble.” Rafe snarls, barely blinking as you claw at his hand to try and gain some air. He loosens his hand just enough for you to suck in a breath, angry tears filling your eyes.

“I-I don’t give a shit who you are. You can own this island with your fucking money but you can’t own me.” Your hand comes up and slaps him across the face. Rafe growls angrily before he yanks you away from the wall to force you to bend over the nearby dresser. His hand slaps over your mouth as he molds his body to your back, his angry breath hot in your ear.

“That’s where you’re wrong. Everything can be bought. You pay enough money and people look the other way. I could own you in more ways than one and no one would care. Especially not if I made you my wife. I could have you made legally unfit. You’d be my personal little doll tucked away in my castle to use as I see fit.” Rafe’s words fill you with dread, tears streaming down your face as you tremble in terror. He was deranged and completely unhinged.

“Hell, I killed the last sheriff. What’s to stop me from killing this one for getting too nosey?” He presses his lips to your cheek, his hard erection digging into your ass.

“What’s to stop me from killing you?” Rafe whispers, giving you chills as his free hand roughly grabs your hip. You mumble against his hand and he pulls it away just enough for you to speak.

“What do you want?” You spat, anger and fear coursing through your blood.

“I want you to know your place.”

“And where’s that?”

“On your knees is a good start.”

You stiffen, throwing your elbow back and hearing him grunt when you connect with his ribs. You don’t hesitate in shoving your weight backwards against him, making him stumble as you attempt to run. His sinister laugh chills you to your bones as he catches you by the hair, throwing you down on the floor before you can get more than three steps away.

You scream but Rafe only laughs, straddling your waist and pinning your hands above your head.

“Now you’re going to apologize.”

“Fuck you!”

“No,” He chuckles, running his tongue up the side of your neck, “—fuck you.”

[lokiiied]

my thoughts on the making of loki s2:

• “our approach was really doubling down on who loki cares about, who we care about.” and then having season 2 centre around loki & mobius’ relationship, how he cares for his friends, and sylvie’s independence & what she wants/fought for like okay cool got it.

• “tom is the author of all things loki” he really, truly is. bless him.

• ke huy quan must be protected at all costs the world does not deserve him

• loml rafael casal 💞💅🏻

• “mobius can be eccentric, because loki is eccentric, he just is. but they don’t see themselves that way. they’re the straight man (???) in this absurd world.” 🤨🧐 kevin…you were going somewhere and then you lost me.

• “this is her first chance to experiment with freedom, with choice.” (about sylvie). and her choosing a simple life, with the comfort of routine and connecting with a few particular humans and just appreciating life. the little things. with no romantic motivations that we see. big aspec energy.

and then replaying the scenes where she says “my life’s here now” and “your friends are where they belong. we’re all writing our own stories” like. yeah. just reiterating how important this life she’s built is to her and she has no interest in going back. she appreciates loki & mobius and the others in helping her to keep/save free will - but aside from that, she’d be fine never seeing them again. because if she did - it would probably mean trouble. fighting again. running again. and she’s already spent her whole life fighting and running. she’s tired. of course she was upset they kept seeking her out, cuz she thought she was done. that she fixed everything that mattered. even though she didn’t. but now she gets to live. and be sylvie. “not a loki” and to figure out who that is.

• 700 PAGE BOOK??!!? isaac bauman, the cinematographer. wrote a 700 PAGE “cinematography bible” of the entire visual language of the show. down to the smallest lights. the pure tism dedication. this is what i’m talking about when i say everything is intentional. every shot. the lighting. the tone. every time someone writes an analysis about these themes in this show - just one page of this mans work is appreciated. i never want to hear anyone talking shit about “reading too much” into cinematography. i have isaac bauman’s loki cinematography bible on my side.

• wunmi is so funny and warm i love her energy

• TOM “HELPING” OWEN UP THE STAIRS. 🫴🏻dead.

• christopher townsend sounds EXACTLY like an older tom holland it’s tripping me up

• “what is it mobius says…” tom says and then recites the line word for word. as if loki wasn’t thinking of that line while sacrificing himself. as if mobius’ words weren’t echoing over him in the final shot of the show. he’s so funny.

• speaking of…owen only talked for like 5 minutes what?? probably started rambling about mobius’ gay feelings for loki and they cut it :/ seriously though did they just not ask him questions?? his presence felt weirdly lacking.

• tom hiddleston everyone. our lord and saviour

[unnecessary-dinosaurs]

Ok! I watched Chaos Theory! I have a lot of thoughts! There were things I liked a lot and things I wasn’t a fan of. I generally liked it but came away slightly underwhelmed. If you haven’t watched it yet please go do so!!! Support the show and the wonderful crew that put it together!!!

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

WHAT I LIKED:

-MATEO!!! I literally loved him so much. A fantastic, simple character that doesn’t overstay his welcome or detract from our main characters. Great motivations and realistic backstory. Yeah. I really liked him. Yeah.

-Yasammy! Obviously they were amazing. They got to be cute and bubbly and gay but also their argument was so real and believable. Neither one of them is completely in the wrong. They are just two flawed people who’ve been through more than they can handle on their own. They need each other but not always in the way they might think. They were such a highlight this season. Can’t wait for more of them.

-This whole show just feels like a dramatic step up in visual storytelling from CC. The sets are beautiful and intricate, the lighting and textures are fantastic, and the directing is just really great. There are some really creative shots and transitions, and overall it just feels like more confident directing and storyboarding all around. (I specifically remember episode 7 being really great visually. Super fun stuff.)

-All the dinosaur action was great. Like next level shit. The way they keep finding creative ways to use these animals for action and suspense is very impressive. The raptors are genuinely scary. The Allosaurus and Pachyrhinosaurus were personal favs.

-Unlike Dominion, they actually showed what living in a world with dinosaurs is like- how people are adjusting to this new way of life, adapting to the presence of these animals, and keeping themselves safe. Totally what I wanted to see from Dominion, and Chaos Theory did it better within a single episode.

-There was some very well crafted suspense throughout this season. The mystery does a great job of constantly keeping you pulled in. Every time a question is answered, five more are asked.

-The darker tone is definitely welcome. The characters are older and they’ve experienced a terrible loss. The weight of the new world weighs on them and the audience in a very tangible way.

-This one isn’t really constructive but like. I just love Darius so much. He’s so perfect.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE:

-Unfortunately I thought the character writing was significantly weaker than any season of CC. It was genuinely impressive how they were able to make me not care much about these versions of Ben and Kenji, my absolute favorite characters in CC. Before the characters felt like real, living people. Now, they just feel like fictional characters to me. Really good characters, yes, but still just characters. Maybe I’ll go into further detail about this in a future post. But yeah, overall it felt like the characters took a backseat this time around.

-I’m so sorry but I absolutely could not stand the new VA for Kenji. I’m sure he’s trying his best but he sounded uninterested and half-assed most of the time. Brooklynn’s new actor was… fine? Didn’t care for her either but she didn’t bug me the way Kenji did. Let’s start a GoFundMe to pay for Ryan to come back.

-Ok. Yeah. Not a fan of Darius being in love with B. Like, ok. It makes sense and it fits the plot well. But it just seems unnecessary. Darius can be devastated by her loss without it. Ehhh maybe they’ll handle it well in future seasons but. No. Not for me.

-Also didn’t like Daniel Kon’s death. I liked that they brought him back, but killing him felt undeserved. Like, he was the main antagonist for the first show, but you just kill him off in a random episode six years later? I think he deserved a little more reverence rather than reintroducing him for one episode and then quickly killing him for shock value once he’s served his purpose.

-WHY DID THEY GIVE BEN A GIRLFRIEND THAT BOY IS GAY AS HELL NOOOOO

[atthelowestfromao3]

About you ? (Don't let go)

Summary:

Midoriya Izuku has vanished without a trace, missing for three long months. When Katsuki Bakugou, renowned pro hero, reluctantly takes on the cold case at the behest of Izuku's mother—his devoted, unseen fan—he embarks on a journey of unraveling mysteries and piecing together memories. As he delves deeper into Izuku's world, Bakugou unexpectedly finds himself captivated by a person he's never met, navigating a path where love intertwines with the shadows of a haunting disappearance.

Or the story where Katsuki Bakugou falls inexorably in love with someone he's never laid eyes on.

Chapter 1: Did you think I had forgotten?

Katsuki Bakugou was notorious for his impatience. His famous short temper, who’s  presence been a constant in his life since his childhood, despite years of therapy, remained untamed. Today was an especially trying day—a fan meet-and-greet. He despised these events with a passion. His fans, he believed, consisted mostly of desperate, perverted women or clueless kids drawn to his brash attitude and powerful quirk.

These gatherings were always tedious. His job entailed tolerating fans who asked for autographs on inappropriate places ( like who in the hell wanted an autograph on their tits?) or requested absurd photos ( Katsuki does not do family friendly photos with annoying and loud brats). He could already tell it would be a long, irritating day. However, the next woman in line didn't seem interested in an autograph. Actually, the chubby short greenette woman, who was dressed as the number one enemy of fashion, didn’t like she belonged this crowd at all. She looked as old as his mother, and if she dared pull out panties for him to sign, he swore he'd swore he would blast her face, leave this hellhole and call the day done, his publicist could screw themselves. Suppressing his irritation, Katsuki managed:

- Alright, lady. What do you need?

The woman in front of him emanated nervous energy. But the woman surprised him, by muttering clearly and softly:

- Dynamite-sama, I'm sorry to disturb you, but I need your help.

Annoyed yet intrigued by her sincerity but also hoping he wouldn’t regret this later, Katsuki asked:

- What's the problem?

Sadly, she replied:

- It's my son. He's missing, and I can't find him.

Bakugou, who wasn’t understanding what this crazy lady wanted from him, scoffed:

- Do I look like a lost and found sector? Get security to help you. I'm working.

Desperation etched her face. 

- My son isn't here.

Exasperated, Katsuki snapped:

- Then how am I supposed in to find him? Look, I'm not here to do hero work today and-

Cutting him off, she pleaded:

- Please, Dynamite-sama!  No one has been able to find him! You're my last hope!

Reluctantly, Katsuki relented:

- Fine. When did you last see him?

She answered, on the verge of tears: 

- Three months ago.

Katsuki rolled his eyes:

- And only now you realize that the fucker is missing? Did you go to the police?

She explained frantically:

- I did, but they've stopped searching.  

Before he could protest further, a girl, with the sluttiest outfit ever, barged in, demanding her turn with Katsuki. Katsuki will never know why they bother when he already announced himself as gay to the press. Annoyed, he shouted:

- SHUT THE FUCK UP, Extra! WAIT ON THE DAMN LINE. 

He urged the woman:

- Go on.

Gratefully, she continued:

- Thank you, Dynamite- sama! As I was saying, I need your help to find my boy! They keep saying to me that it’s common and that maybe he just left home and that he is of legal age but it doesn’t make sense for him to just disappear like that and I’m worried for him. 

Katsuki wasn’t believing he was hearing this shit. Where are the cameras? Is she for real?! But after a deep breath, he said:

- And you thought that I, Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite, would be THE person to help you locate your son, because?

But the woman was unbothered by the sarcasm in there :

- You see, my son, Izuku, is your biggest fan. He's been since you won that UA tournament at fifteen. He always believed you'd be Japan's top hero one day. Izuku has a heart of gold, and this isn't like him. Please, help me find him.

Internally urging himself to agree just to get rid of her, Katsuki sighed: 

- Alright, alright. I'll take the case and start tomorrow.

Tears of relief streamed down her cheeks:

- Thank you, Dynamite-sama!

As she left, the endless line of bizarre encounters continued, like clockwork.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Katsuki almost forgot about the woman until, after a 15-hour shift, a file fell from his bed shelf. After a long nap, as he organized his room, he found it again—the case of Izuku Midoriya. The case was enveloped in the folder and Katsuki quickly turns past the index and onto the first page, hoping for a photo of the kid missing. Woah, there. The blue folder held a photo that caught Katsuki's attention immediately. The pretty green eyes were the first thing he noticed accompanied by cute freckles darting all around, he had pretty curls that appeared to have life on its own. His face was roundish and his eyes were big, in the photo he was smiling and the background was white. Definitely not a kid, like DAMN. He was charming, unlike anyone Katsuki had seen before.

Case Details: Physical Characteristics:   Somewhat short for his age (21), Izuku Midoriya has a round face framed by a mop of fluffy, dark-green hair that curls at odd angles. His large, circular eyes match the shade of his hair, often appearing watery and wide, giving him an innocent and energized appearance. He bears four symmetrical freckles in diamond formations, with being 21 on his left cheek and 24 in his right cheek. Izuku is often described as "plain-looking" or "not standing out" by others.  

Katsuki paused, incredulous. Also, who the hell described the prettiest boy he had ever seen as “plain- looking” like what the fuck? Who gave this moron the job? He shook his head in annoyance at the description.

Distinguishing Features: Freckles all over his body Quirk: Quirkless

Katsuki raised an eyebrow. Quirkless? Despite his charming appearance, Izuku lacked a quirk. It was surprising.

Last Seen Clothing: White tank top, jeans, white sneakers Circumstances of Disappearance: Last seen at Mustafu’s Public Library, Detroit Street at 4 PM on May 14, 2062.

The notes were sparse, leaving Katsuki frustrated. It had been three months since Izuku's disappearance, and he wasn't a detective. However, the photo of Izuku intrigued him enough to continue reading. According to the file, Midoriya had left the library after borrowing two books, bidding farewell to the librarian, Blair Pamper. That was the extent of the information. The detectives had seemingly halted their investigation there. Tossing the folder onto his bed, Katsuki scoffed at the idea of getting involved. He muttered, turning away: 

- Not my problem.

Yet, as he paced the room, the image of Izuku's earnest eyes lingered in his mind. Hours passed. Katsuki found himself unable to shake off the feeling of unease. Finally, unable to resist his curiosity, he retrieved the folder and flipped through it again, lingering on Izuku's photo. Katsuki muttered, trying to convince himself:

- He's just another lost pretty face.

But something about Izuku's gaze, innocent yet determined, tugged at him. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

At first, Katsuki's pride kept him distracted, and for four days, Bakugou didn't spare a single thought for the quirkless nerd. However, on the fifth day, thoughts of him resurfaced, and by the evening, Bakugou found himself slouched on Kirishima's couch, his usual intensity subdued. Kirishima noticed the tension in his friend's shoulders, the way his hands clenched and unclenched in his lap.

Kirishima asked, tossing a bag of chips onto the coffee table:

- Hey man, what's eating at you?" Kirishima asked, tossing a bag of chips onto the coffee table.

Bakugou grunted, taking a handful of chips and chewing slowly. He muttered, his voice unusually quiet:

- It's that damn case.

Kirishima raised an eyebrow, leaning forward:

- Case? What case?

Bakugou hesitated, unsure how much to disclose:

- It's... a missing person. Someone I heard about.

Kirishima nodded, sensing Bakugou's reluctance. He encouraged gently:

- Okay, go on.

Bakugou sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair:

- This guy, Izuku Midoriya. He's been missing for three months now. The cops stopped looking.

Concern furrowed Kirishima's brow:

- That's rough, man. Do you know him?

Bakugou shook his head:

- Never met him. But something about it bugs me. Like... I can't shake the feeling that there's more to this story.

Kirishima studied his friend, recognizing the determination in Bakugou's eyes:

- So, what's bothering you the most about it?

Bakugou shrugged, a hint of frustration in his voice:

- I dunno yet. But something doesn't sit right.

Kirishima leaned back, thinking:

- Is he a friend of yours?

Bakugou hesitated, then decided to reveal more:

- No, I don't know him personally. But he's quirkless.

Kirishima's eyebrows shot up in surprise:

- Quirkless? That's unusual. Does that bother you?

Bakugou tensed slightly, his discomfort evident.:

- Yeah... People like him don't always get the attention they deserve. It's like everyone's forgotten about him already.

Kirishima leaned forward, serious now:

- Look, whether he has a quirk or not, if this case bothers you, you should pursue it. Maybe no one else will, but that doesn't mean it's not worth looking into.

They fell into a contemplative silence, the weight of Bakugou's internal struggle hanging heavy in the air. Kirishima knew Bakugou had his reasons, but he also knew his friend's sense of justice ran deep. As Bakugou got up to leave, Kirishima gave his shoulder a reassuring clap: 

- Good luck, man. Let me know if you need anything.

Bakugou nodded, a mix of determination and uncertainty flickering across his face.

- Yeah, I will.

With that, Bakugou left, leaving Kirishima to ponder the mysteries weighing on his friend's mind, hoping Bakugou would find the answers he sought.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

After talking to Kirishima, Katsuki wrestled with his pride and the unsettling feeling that had gripped him since their conversation about Izuku. Despite his initial resistance, curiosity and a growing sense of obligation gnawed at him. Yet, beneath his hardened exterior, a nagging sense of unease persisted. Katsuki sat at his cluttered desk, the soft hum of his laptop filling the dimly lit room. His eyes scanned through news articles and police reports, but his thoughts kept drifting back to one name: Izuku Midoriya.The image of Izuku, a quirkless nobody, haunted him more than he cared to admit. Katsuki muttered under his breath, trying to dismiss the gnawing feeling in his gut:

- He's just another damn case. I don't even know the guy.

But that wasn't entirely true. Over the past few days, Katsuki had immersed himself in the details of Izuku's disappearance. He knew about Izuku's quirklessness, his quiet determination, and his unwavering belief in heroes. Somehow, those details had woven themselves into Katsuki's thoughts, lingering like threads he couldn't untangle. 

He leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his spiky blond hair. He muttered, his frustration growing:

- Why the hell am I so fixated on this?

A memory flashed through his mind—a fleeting image of Izuku's face from the missing person poster. Those large, hopeful eyes seemed to stare back at him, silently pleading for help. It was absurd, Katsuki thought. He had never met Izuku, never exchanged a single word with him. And yet, here he was, feeling a strange sense of responsibility.

With a sigh, Katsuki closed the laptop, pushing it aside with a bit more force than necessary. He stood up and walked over to the window, gazing out at the city lights below. The night was quiet, the streets empty save for the occasional passing car.

Still, as much as he resisted, a small ember of concern flickered within him, igniting a reluctant curiosity that refused to be extinguished. As he paced his apartment that evening, Katsuki finally acknowledged the truth he had been avoiding: this case mattered to him. With a begrudging nod to himself, he made a decision. Katsuki muttered aloud, testing the name on his tongue once more:

- Izuku Midoriya.

It felt foreign yet familiar, like a puzzle piece that didn't quite fit but somehow belonged. He continued his speech to himself:

- I don't know why, but I'm going to find you.

As he turned away from the window, Katsuki couldn't shake the feeling that he was about to embark on a journey that would change more than just his routine. It was a journey that would challenge his perceptions, his pride, and perhaps even his understanding of what it meant to be a hero.

He walked back to his desk and pulled out a worn notebook, flipping to a blank page. Gripping the pen tightly in his hand, he began to jot down notes—potential leads, questions to ask, places to visit. Each stroke of the pen felt like a commitment, a promise to himself and to Izuku.

Hours passed as Katsuki immersed himself in planning, the soft glow of the desk lamp casting shadows across his determined face. Finally, he leaned back in his chair, a mix of determination and uncertainty swirling within him.

With that, Katsuki closed his notebook and glanced once more at the missing person poster pinned to his bulletin board. Izuku's face stared back at him, a reminder of the challenge ahead. Tomorrow, he would begin his search in earnest, driven by a newfound sense of purpose and a growing connection to a person he had never even met.

Tomorrow, he would begin investigating Izuku's disappearance.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Want to keep reading? Read it on ao3 now!

[bengiyo]

My Love Mix Up TH Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Atom and Kongthap navigated what dating might look like for them, and managed to have their first movie date, and a date up a mountain to make a romantic wish. Atom got some romantic advice from a new tutor/teacher, but we left at a potentially homophobic moment when that teacher spotted them together on the mountain. Meanwhile, Mudmee spent much of the episode frustrated with Half for not remembering moments that made her like him.

I feel like this dude has no real authority to ask about their relationship outside of school.

Oh, he told their moms. See, this is kinda fucked up because part of why I’m not a teacher anymore is that I was told that it is a requirement under the law that I report on homosexual behavior by students to their parents.

A homophobia fakeout again from GMMTV. 😑 I don’t think this shit is funny.

Every time they undercut the real world homophobia they make Atom look paranoid. It’s a terrible choice to have him be concerned about how people might perceive him when this show keeps making it seem like his instincts are wrong.

Nice save, Half.

Okay, this chocolate lava cake looks good.

Finally, Aungpao is back.

Man…I don’t think they way they built to this breakup at all. Queer people have real reasons to protect themselves and choose who they want to be out with, and I don’t think this show has earned this plotline at all.

Fourth is good at expressing sadness.

Poor Mudmee. She and Half have had such an awkward, bumpy road. At least they finally made some more progress.

This scene with the kids should play humorous, but it's just Atom's fault he's lonely?

Oh, Papang is here to prove once again that he can build chemistry with anyone.

I hope they do a heavy handed explanation to explain Atom of they want these two to reconcile in this episode.

Man, they really just stumbled all over the sexual awakening and dealing with how that affects how others perceive you beats.

You just knew they were going to shove a musical moment into this once karaoke got mentioned.

This whole Don't Say Gay thing is driving me up the wall. It's affecting the stories in a way I find super uncomfortable. I'd rather bubble shows not allude to any kind of homophobia if they don't want it in their worlds. I hate when they make a character worry about homophobia only to make them look "silly." It's offensive, and it makes the characters feel deeply unreal. I'm losing touch with this romance as a result.

It feels like they didn't want to retread on homophobic teachers since they did it in MSP, but I don't like the choice they went with here at all.

I will be dropping this show. I find that I hate everything it has to say, and I wish the cast and crew success in future endeavors.

Kieta Hatsukoi Comparison: Feels like they wanted to merge the source material but where Aoki's sister is a pastry chef with this senior, and then used Valentine's Day as the romantic stand in for Christmas. As mentioned last week, we're diverging heavily from the source material at this stage, so I'll leave that off.

[chaifootsteps]

comments roundup on Arteice's vid

Frankly, it’s pretty upsetting that Stolas acts like a victim just because he was raised with royal blood and is a hypocrite when he dismisses Blitzo like he’s one of his servants

^This person makes an excellent point, actually. Blitzo specifically calls Stolas out for treating him like a butler - an inferior - and instead of wanting to apologize or offer discuss it with him at a later date when his emotions are running less high, Stolas just evicts Blitzo from his house using magic, essentially dismissing him. It's giving royal "remove him from my sight" sort of vibes - insead of rectifying the behavior Stolas just proved Blitzo's point (again). I guess at this point we should be glad the writers had the comment sense not to have Stolas squeeze Blitzo like a stress ball until his eyes popped

How much of a bad writer do you have to be when you make a character so unsympathetic and unlikable that fans convince themselves that it was intentional to make him come across as this much of a narcissistic abuser. Yes I’m sure Viv wants you to see Stolas, the guy who cries constantly and even has a music video about how sad and in love he is, who constantly has excuses thrown his way for his behavior like neglecting Via and having power over Blitzo, who was literally retconned in season 2’s premiere episode to be some naive lovesick idiot with a wife so comically abusive the best photos they could take of her was her choking puppies. That Stolas.

Well,I have to agree. Stolas really needs to take the L,get his shit together and stop always always victimizing himself seriously.

Stolas is victimizing Blitz, Blitz couldn't consent. All that sex they were having made Stolas a monster, then Stolas cries BECAUSE Blitz didn't fetishize or romanticise the abuse the way Stolas did

Thank you for standing up for blitz, stolas is unbearable at this Point

Since watching the Sarcastic Chorus breakdown of the episode, I can say that I am holding onto a sliver of hope that the hypocracy is intentional and will be developed upon soon. However, I can't lie that while watching the confrontation in Full Moon, I was become more and more irate at the idea that Stolas sings about the break-up in the next episode. They better call him on his bullshit SIGNIFICANTLY. Although that may be just me relating to Blitz more than Stolas rn.

What made this inevitable for me is the fact that Stolas is kind of placing all his eggs in one basket by relying on Blitz for his happiness. He seems to believe that if they get together, it’ll magically solve all his problems such as his faltering relationship with Octavia, and the threat of the Goetia bearing their full weight down on him. To me it felt also like he was testing Blitz by seeing what kind of reaction he would have by being freed from their contract. He’s placing a lot of expectation on someone who is never going to be able to live up to what’s being asked of him

Stolas got that "21 year old closeted gay college Student trying to discover his sexuality" vibes, you know what i'm sayin'? The thing is… he's a grown ass man in his mid to late 30s with a daughter. He needs to grow up

Posting this sanity now so we can all fortify ourselves for what's coming tomorrow morning.

[transmychem]

kicking off my first analysis…

the most “clearly trans” (or not?) song by mcr.

“Not That Kinda Girl”

this unfortunately quite literally involves gerard and how they seem themselves.

lets dive in..

“everybodys talking bout the way you left your man” not to be THAT person but… around the time this song was (most likely) wrote was when Gerard and Bert McCracken had a falling out… not to mention they literally held hands during the Under Pressure performance. so.. yeah “everybodys talking bout the way you held his hand”

now these could be interpreted as filler lyrics… however i would like to interpret it as Gerard figuratively drowning in the media’s portrayal of him and the expectations society has. kinda enough said..

ignoring the “borrowed” lyrics and the implications of that… jk.. there are a lot of implications of gerard borrowing lyrics from one of the first technically “feminist presenting” songs about a woman who is done with societies shit. sound familiar?…

“so say goodbye to all my friends” if im getting my facts right Gerard lost two good friend around this time… Frank and Bert… from my knowledge frank and gerard and well most of mcr for that matter were fighting and on the verge of quitting the band. and well i already mentioned what happened with Bert.

“i fell in love with her again” … this is obviously about Gerard and Lynz relationship.. a lot of people, even people close to him, did not want him marrying Lynz for countless reasons whether theyre valid or not. They got married around this time, and there was a lot of controversy because these things happen when youre a hot and famous rockstar especially a hot famous rockstar that kisses men… because the women want you the men want you and the gays want your representation. everyones gonna hate his spouse by default (not defending lynz (IDK anything about her)these are just facts…)

“everybodys talking bout the way you cur your hair” we know Gerard cut his hair and dyed it white for the black parade around this time. everyone was talking about it. obviously didnt give a flying fuck.

“everybodys talking bout the way you smoke that there” sensitive topic warning: … people were probably still talking about Gerards known cocaine addiction… and his path to sobriety and caring wayyy too much about what he does. they criticize him for smoking cigarettes bc ppl are insane and paranoid for some reason. i guess people are always hypercritical about celebrities especially if theyre a huge role model for vulnerable youth. Gerard has never cared too much about all that though. “i dont care at all”

now that we have established this song is clearly about Gerard, lets talk about a reoccurring line in this song

“cause im not that kind of girl”

this phrase has been kicked around for ages about women who sleep around or something. being “not that kinda girl” implies your “different from other girls” mostly in the sense that youre not a floozy or whatever… like lets not pin queens against eachother..

now why did Gerard use girl? he could have said “not that kinda guy/boy” but perhaps no one would get the reference unless they can read into the irony…

but i think Gerard likes the irony of using “girl” as a way to refer to themselves. because people have treated him and his relationship like hes just some “silly girl” or something. like they think Gerard is some kinda whore for kissing men and having gfs… the way society tends to view bisexual/queer people… (using bisexual bc theyve done things with guys and girls publicly and that makes you bisexual by societies standards..)

this song doesn’t necessarily have to do with being trans if you put it that way. Gerard is probably using “girl” to refer to themselves because of the irony.

but i’m gonna say this song is trans because why the fuck not.

thats just how i interpret it. it has trans vibes.

does not necessarily mean its about gerard, because gerard has made up so many characters for his music alone, why would this not be about just another character? the answer lies in the fact that all these things happened to him. hes talking about himself. isnt all singing, all lyrics, really about self awareness and self loathing or pondering of self? dont get me started… also the fact that all characters authors create are some fragment of themselves.. so yeah. referring to yourself as a girl (if you were born male) is just kinda trans…

now one last point after this conclusion. possibly a stretch. this song could be Gerard telling people they’re still queer even though they’re in a relationship with a woman. If this song is about Gerard being a girl then they’re saying they’re still queer for being in a relationship with another girl... tumblr dont FREAK. i said it was a stretch. (though it’s literally in the text…) but could just be like i said, just Gerard saying they’re still queer despite being in a “heterosexual passing” relationship and nothing else…

and this part i almost forgot… sorry for being all over the place i have adhd…. but this part kinda confirms my theory. “all your life i let you down”… is Gerard saying they let us down by letting society believe they are cis? idfk.

anyway. thats what makes me think this is the most off the bat transgender esque song.

transfems and lesbians this is YOUR song.

<3

[deemagine]

Season 3 The Bear is exactly what I thought was gonna happen (spoiler: trash)

I knew the second Jeremy and Ayo were in interviews they were gonna shut all sydxcarmy moments down. I fucking KNEW they were gonna get boring mayonnaise ass Claire to be the driving force for Camry when we all know it’s SYDNEY. It really felt like the writers were trying their best to make it seem like Claire was this bigger person to him than season 2 made it to be. She didn’t even have a personality other than this insufferable fake whimsical manic pixie dream girl shit. Every time she spoke it always sounded so fake deep. She wasn’t even the one who grounds him when he goes into panic, It’s Sydney! Ugh this is so frustrating to watch.

It’s a shame because this show is so smart, it perfectly executes the anxiety, the mourning, the grief, the desire to do more. The passion, ( and perfectly executed a slow burn romance without the show themselves knowing??) for the them to play stupid that the bland “recording of dead wife smiling under the bedsheets” character Claire is this awe inspiring catalyst for Carmy. Idk why they’re so against the romance with syd . I really don’t. I get them in real life saying people can just be friends but like….. no friend does half the shit syd and Carm do. I’m sorry. Like??? This show is playing us. Also I just know they’re gonna make Sydney gay now because of fucking course. also this heavily reminds me of every Awkafina character she plays refuses to do anything romance, despite some movies she picks to do….. have romance????)

I was so anxious this show was gonna go to shit and I wasn’t even surprised when it did. Don’t write a show with two people having a beautiful connection that is INDISPUTABLY romantic and be upset when people take it that way just to manic write season 3 to shut down all those people rooting for them to come up with this garbage.

If yall go back to interviews with carmy and ayo they’re both so gung-ho insisting NO romance. And I’m sure the writers wanted to go that route but they were adamant. They shouldn’t have had a say.

Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Open to discussion in comments.

[sharkboywrites]

When I realized I was trans, I put off coming out because of how trans men got treated in the community. I saw trans men getting demonized, and I didn’t want to be treated that way. I did eventually come out, I found a great community, but I got some shit for it, and lately it’s gotten a lot worse. When I realized I was gay, that I strictly liked men, I pushed myself in the closet for almost a year, labeling myself as pan even though I knew that wasn’t true, because I saw how gay men were getting treated terribly in the community. As someone who now openly speaks about my experience being a masc queer person that likes men, advocating for me and others like me to be treated equally, I’ve had more young masc queers tell me that they were scared to come out, that they put a different label on themselves so they wouldn’t be seen as “dangerous” or “evil”. I’ve had other transmascs and mlm people tell me that they’re grateful for my posts and that I’m making them feel seen. I can understand that some people hate men, that they’ve had terrible experiences and their feelings are justified, but y’all have to realize that you’re going about it wrong. Your posts and comments to other queer people about how much you hate them for simply being men and/or liking men is misdirected. You’re hurting the people in your own community. You shouldn’t tell gay men about how much you hate men because they posted their boyfriend. You shouldn’t tell trans men how much you hate them for transitioning and actually enjoying being a man. It’s not “getting revenge” on men because they treated you badly. You’re not “fighting the patriarchy” by calling a gay man a faggot. Your hate is misdirected. You’re making people scared to openly be themselves and come out, especially younger queer people, and that’s something we should be fighting against.

[romanoffsbish]

Mom, Dad, I’m…

Wanda Maximoff x R

Blackhill ; Bishova ; Stony ; BuckySam

Happy Pride Angels, 🌈❤️

Warnings: Attempts at Humor. Heteros.

"Detka, can you go get some tomatoes from the garden? Steve already ate all of the freaking salsa," Wanda grumbled dramatically, falling into your arms as you were mid conversation with Natasha and Maria about their work.

"He probably intended to bottom tonight," Natasha remarks with a shit stirring grin, you cackled in solidarity, but the both of you stopped when your wives stood shoulder to shoulder with a menacing tilt to their heads.

——

"Welp, those tomatoes aren't gonna pick themselves," you noted before running off, you avoided looking back, afraid to see Natasha's stony glare as you abandoned her with them.

Every man for themselves a mantra you live by, well, only when it comes to angry spouses. As an Avenger you were as selfless as the rest, but now you got to be more selfish in retirement.

Natasha, unfortunately, was your victim.

When you entered the massive greenhouse you took a second to admire your wives handiwork. The brunette had a knack for gardening, a green thumb if you will. The greenhouse was her go to place to find her zen after a day of dealing with you, Billy, Tommy, and Ella.

The witch loved you all, her beautiful family, but some days the lot of you made her feel a tad bit homicidal. On those days she gardened.

It wasn't hard to find the tomatoes, they were ripe and ready on a set of entangled vines. But before you could bring it to her, you were too enamored by the conversation your kids were having in their little cove behind the garden.

"I can't do it," Tommy groaned. "Yeah they just won't understand," Morgan Stark agreed with him, and you leaned in to hopefully garner more context for their troubled minds.

"At least Uncle Tony is bi," Raina Belova countered, "He'll be more understanding."

"Have you met our dad?" Anthony, the only Jr present, said in an incredulous manner. "He even claims Fido is gay, he's totally unhinged."

You had to put a hand over your mouth, the amusement you were experiencing was unreal.

"Couldn't be us," Elena teased, "I'm gay as hell, and Bryce here is both queer and nonbinary."

Oh goodness... Never in your days did you expect your kids to keep secrets from you, but for it to be such a silly one it honestly made you want to interrupt the conversation at hand.

To remind them that no matter what, you'd all continue to love them, but it was too funny.

"Mama is going to be mad," Celeste Belova added, "She always said being gay is the way."

"I thought she was ace?" Billy inquired. "She is, but that doesn't make her any less gay."

After the conversation moved on to who they were crushing on you snuck back to the party. The overall consensus being that every last one of your collective brood, besides your youngest, Ella, who was only five, and Natasha and Maria's powerful duo, said they're straight.

"Where have you been?" You ignored your wife, handing her the basket of ingredients while calling all of your friends to the dining room. Tony whined, "What is so important?"

"You guys will not believe what I just heard..."

Wanda rolled her eyes as you spun your tale, she chopped up the tomatoes, jalapeños and onions as you enamored the group of friends.

"Thank God we're safe," Maria teased, turning to her wife with a genuinely relieved smile. "Right? Can you imagine having to attend two straight weddings? And pretend to like it?"

"Oh jeez," you gasped, "I didn't think of that."

Wanda tossed the ingredients into a bowl as the lot of you bantered back and forth, her patience already running thin with you all.

"Y/N, this joke isn't funny." Yelena shook her head in defiance when you reminded her that this wasn't a joke. "You don't know what you are talking about. Must be hearing loss..."

Kate put a hand on her wife's shoulder, "It's true Lena, they've both told me already."

"You traitor!" Yelena ripped her arm away as if the raven haired woman had burned her skin.

You now worried that you'd inspired divorces.

"No," Tony gasped, shaking his head in fear as the unexpected reality set in. "You're lying, you have to be. No son of mine is straight!"

"Honey," Steve called out for him, "It'll be okay, we always knew it would be a possibility."

"It most certainly is not okay," he grimaced, then in a flash he was outside, calling for your children to gather around the hibachi station.

"Where's the fire pops?" Morgan jests, but quickly zips her lips as she sees her dad looking as if he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Tell me Y/N's lying," he pleads, "That you're not straight, my fragile ticker can't take this."

"Tony!" Steve shrieked, "Don't use an old ailment to guilt the kids into being gay..."

"Stay out of this babe!" He growled, "As far as I am concerned they're gay. Y/N's a liar."

"Am not!" You gasped, "They're all heteros."

"Not us!" Bryce interjected. "We're queer."

"That's our precious babies," Natasha coo'd, arms opened wide for her kids to run into, and the both of their teens instantly ran at her.

Bucky and Sam had entered your backyard just as the revelation took place. You all watched as they took three steps back, baby carrier in hand as they looked to your kids as if they were all diseased. "We're just being cautious."

You snorted softly, "We understand fellas."

Wanda glared at you, but you remained unfazed for now. Too busy finding the dramatics entertaining to see the horror. Wanda saw it though, she looked out to see all of the kids wearing terrified expressions. She was about to console them, but then a fight broke out beside you, and you had to laugh.

"This is all your fault Kate Belova!" Yelena shrieked, "It was all of that organic mac and cheese you fed them when I was on missions!"

"Mac and cheese being healthy doesn't make a child straight," Kate shrieked back, hands running down her face as she realized her plans for a peaceful barbecue ended with this.

"If it had been orange they might have been more connected to the rainbow Kate!" Yelena went on, "It's like our gay power source."

"Well, with Wanda's garden the kids eat the entire rainbow and look at them, straight."

Yelena found your assistance unwelcome, "Keep out of this Y/N Maximoff. Your kids aren't all old enough to say yet, you still have a chance! Mine are all done... Stupid preteens"

"Well, that's not exactly true," you reasoned, "None of you have been to college yet, that's when you'll really know if you're gay or not."

Natasha, Yelena and Tony all nodded, they found your reasoning the most logical. It was a lot easier than accepting they're all straight.

"Okay, that's enough!" Wanda interjected, her tone terrifying, "Look at what you're doing to them. They can't help it if they're straight."

"I wanna be gay like mama," Ella murmured, clearly she just wanted to fit in with the crowd, and therefore you praised her, "Smart girl."

Wanda entered your mind with a warning, she smirked as you lifted Ella onto your hip, then you fell into unexpected silence by her side.

"Haha, you're like so whipped, "Yelena cackled.

Wanda glared at her. "You don't scare me wiggly woo, my kids being straight is enough."

"Yelena," Kate sighed, "Knock it off, and try telling the girls that you love them."

"Of course I love them," she rushed out angrily, "That's not even a question, they're moy deti."

(My babies)

Celeste and Raina ran into the blondes side, their tears of relief soaked into her shirt, and made her see they were genuinely scared this would lose them her love. "Shh, mama loves you always, even if you make dumb choices."

Tony and Steve were in a standoff of sorts, the billionaire sipped on his margarita slowly as they appeared to be having a conversation with only their eyes. Tony rolled his, but after a moment of incoherent grumbling he nodded. Morgan and Tony Jr. approached their dads after being called forward, Steve embraced them first, and wholly. Tony gave them both side hugs, and whispered that he just needed time to cope, but he loved them regardless.

Then you heard him brush by with his son, begging him to take it back, only to find out his son was in a long term relationship with a girl. That study buddy of his was so much more...

Like father, like son you suppose.

You looked out to see your boys stood side by side, Billy gripped Tommy's hand for dear life. Wanda was about to call them over, but you beat her to it as guilt overwhelmed your heart. The boys scurried over, and Wanda sent you an adoring smile as you kissed the both of their heads, and hugged them tight. "I love you," falling from all of your lips in succession.

After everyone had time to process the news, the vibe returned to one of relaxation. Wanda set up the grill for Sam, and the master chef himself began to put on a show for everyone.

Once the plates were served you all moved to the fire pit, where you talked about all you'd missed in each other's life while the younger kids sat in front of the projector playing Up.

Then, as the sun officially fell, everyone began to clear out. Saying their goodbyes at the front door, where you hugged each kid, an apology of sorts on your lip for the drama you stirred. Each one forgave you, some even thanked you for finally getting the conversation over with.

When everyone was officially gone you moved back outside to clean up. Tommy helped you, while Billy helped clean the kitchen so that Wanda could focus on Ella's bath, and bedtime.

It was an entire hours worth of work, you were beyond exhausted as you fell into the mattress. You nearly passed out without your wife, but soon enough Wanda slipped into the bed. She wore a thoughtful expression, weighing out whether to disturb you or not, but she soon reasoned you'd appreciate her words, "Detka..."

"Yes baby?" You rolled onto your side, using your elbow to prop yourself up so you could look down at her. She looked to you with a warm smile, then she was yawning, "Don't worry." She paused to pull you into her arms before whispering in your ear: "Billy was not being honest. We do indeed have a gay son."

You laughed so hard tears streamed down your face and pooled in the crook of your equally as amused wife's neck. That was the last thing you expected to hear from her, if anything you had anticipated a continuation of her scolding.

"I'll scold you more tomorrow," she teased, "But for now, we should get some sleep."

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