#like I’m literally gay and it’s so obvious what are you doing!??

[st00nsnotspoons]

This should not be a common occurrence but it is 🧍🧍 where are my age appropriate gays?????

[andthespidersfrommars]

I truly can’t believe I have to say this but I am so so sick of some people my age (namely those who are tiktok users, and therefore are deeply influenced by “woke” stereotypes about queer people and queer identities that are often perpetrated on that site) telling me that it’s weird to talk about growing up as a female or about experiencing sexism because I’m not a girl? and that it either “makes it seem like I’m not really queer” when I talk about my connection to girlhood or that these things “shouldn’t concern me.” because they very much do and that’s such an ridiculous and inconsiderate thing to say.

I was afab and whether I wanted it or not I was treated like a girl and experienced childhood as a girl. I am not out to many people in my life and in their eyes I am a girl.

as a genderqueer person I still experience and feel very connected to my girlhood and the solidarity that I have among girls and women because of shared experiences despite not often identifying as a girl myself. this is because of many factors including socialization, oppression and personal identity. truly can’t believe most people I know (and quite a lot of people online as well) still don’t understand that the oppression I have experienced as a queer person who was afab and the oppression I have experienced being seen as a girl are interconnected and that we have to address multiple layers of discrimination simultaneously if we want anything to change. this is. not new information. I can’t believe people don’t get this.

[cerayanay]

Rewatching sense8 and I either forgot or didn’t register how important Lito is to Sun. Like the point of the show is never “what can we do for each other”, but they do have unique relationships within the cluster. One of the more obvious being Lito and Nomi; He literally tells her ‘I always come to you when I’m scared’ which. Duh. whenever he has a crisis about his outing as a gay man, of course the person who he can turn to is the trans woman.

But Sun and Lito have the same dynamic because Lito is Sun’s outlet for emotion! Their first interaction (and I think Lito’s first sensate experience) is him experiencing her period symptoms. And of course Sun just swallows her discomfort but Lito FREAKS out and cries and complains and snaps at people. Then ins2 at the love hotel, Lito cries the whole time and Sun says ‘if anyone should be crying it’s me’ to which he replies ‘but you won’t’.

AND MAAAAAN I remember fan reactions to this episode as ‘lol Lito is so dramatic and Sun has to go Korean older sister and deal with that despite her own issues’ LIKE NO LITO IS SUN’S OUTLET FOR PAIN. He has his own shit yes! But he shows up to scream and cry and whine for sun because she won’t do it! He’s crying and complaining for the both of them!

Lito IS a drama queen and it’s important! So much of the cluster is people shouldering pain and responsibility and stoicism and Lito is the comic relief but he’s the one to help people OUTLET that pain!

Like, remember when he was crying over Hernanado in season 1? And then shows up to help Wolfgang deal with the men who shot Felix? It was clear to Lito to just lie and ‘tell him what he wants to hear’ but Wolfgang can’t and admits ‘because he reminds me of my father’. That’s emotional vulnerability right there that Lito helps him shoulder! Like broooo the show jokes about Lito being a drama queen and having to be cared for but they’re ALLLL going through trauma 24/7 and you know who’s always there to cry for you when you can’t???? LITOOOOO

[steddieonbigboy]

They're not mine

written for @steddiemicrofic may prompt 'top' wc: 510 | rated: T | cw: none | read on ao3

🩲🩲🩲

Eddie finds a pair of women’s lace panties when folding the laundry and comes to the totally obvious conclusion that they're Steve's and that he's embarrassed about liking to wear them. He, of course, tries them on and goes to find Steve.

“Y’know,” he says in the doorway of their bedroom, “you don't need to hide this from me. I think you'd look gorgeous in these.”

Steve immediately bursts out laughing.

“Well damn dude, I was just trying to make you feel better about it. You don’t need to laugh at me.”

“No, no you look great! It's just that they're not mine.”

“What the hell do you mean they're not yours?”

“They’re Robin's!”

Eddie immediately scrambles to pull them off, “Robin's?! Why the fuck is she leaving underwear here?!”

“She bought them for a date with Vickie but she psyched herself out about wearing them, so she borrowed some of my boxers and left them here.”

Eddie waves the panties about with his dick swinging free, “And you just washed them?! Left them for anyone to find?! For me, your very gay and supportive boyfriend to find?! What was I meant to think?!”

“I mean, not that,” Steve laughs, “You know most people's thoughts would have been cheating, not that I liked to wear women's underwear.”

“You'd never cheat on me, so of course that didn't occur to me! And obviously I assumed they were yours because it's not normal for friends to leave panties at other friends’ houses!”

“First of all, there is nothing normal about mine and Robin's friendship. Second of all, please stop waving her panties around. And third of all, as much as I normally love seeing you naked, all this talk of Robin and her underwear is making my dick literally shrivel up and retreat, so please go put some clothes on.”

Eddie huffs and flings the panties at Steve’s face before going back down to the laundry room to get dressed again. He stomps back up to Steve and flops down face-first on top of the bed, “You try to do something nice for your boyfriend and all you get is laughed at.”

“Baby,” Steve pokes at his ribs, “It was a very nice gesture. If they had been mine then I would have felt very supported and loved. However, in this case, you kinda got it all mixed up.”

“How is that my fault?!” Eddie rolls onto his side to glare at Steve.

“You could have just come upstairs and said ‘Hey, Steve. Why are there panties in the laundry?’ and I would have said ‘Oh, they’re Robin’s, don’t worry about it.’ And then you would never have worn her underwear and I’d never have had to see you wearing her underwear.”

“Ugh, as if I’d do something as logical as that,” Eddie looks around, “What did you do with them anyway?”

“Threw them out. She won't want them back when I tell her you wore them.”

“Don’t tell her. Steve, I’m begging you.”

“Sorry baby, it’s Robin. I tell her everything.”

[flemingsfreckles]

Grandkids

Jessie Fleming x Reader (parent fic)

Synopsis: You and Jessie catch wind that your teenage daughter might have a boyfriend. Jessie loses her mind over it.

Warnings: discussions of sex, bird and the bees type conversation

WC: 1.7k

A/N: literally no one asked for this but I’m struggling to write. This is just another short blurb that got written because I had a single thought about Jessie being a mom to teenagers and having to give her kids the birds and the bees talk.

When your children had gotten home from school that day, you and Jessie were in the office, organizing old documents. The office was just located off the kitchen where your two children had walked through the door.

Your youngest child, Riley was already interrogating at his older sister. “So what is he your boyfriend now, are you guys all gross and in love?” You paused what you were doing, listening further into the conversation.

“Stop Riley.”

“Amelia and Nick sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Your younger one continues to taunt his sister

“Ughhh, shut up!” Your daughter's voice begins to fade, you assume she’s walking out of the room and away from the teasing that’s going on.

“Where are you going? To call your boyfriend?” You hear Riley call after her followed shortly by the slamming of a bedroom door. Normally the door slamming would be immediate grounds for either you or Jessie to go talk with your daughter. However you and your wife both remained frozen in the office.

You hear your son grab something from the fridge and make his way to his own room before closing the door.

When you heard his bedroom door close Jessie started speaking. “Did he just say her boyfriend?”

“I think so? I don’t know?” You shrug at your wife before turning to put more papers away, no longer being distracted by the conversation between your teenagers.

“Why are you fine with this?” Jessie now standing, no longer caring to organize and shred paper. Clearly Jessie was not taking the new information well.

“Fine with what?” You look at Jessie, taking the papers in her hands to finish filing them away.

“Our daughter having a boyfriend.” She says as if it’s the most obvious answer.

“Oh right, I’m sorry, she didn’t turn out gay like us, we tried our best.” You feel the smile creeping across your face. “Maybe we should’ve let her play softball and dressed her in more flannels as a little kid.”

“Can you take something seriously for once?!” Jessie was usually a fan of your humor but it appeared that today was not the day for it. She was clearly upset.

“Jessie, first of all, Riley is 15 he might not actually know what he’s talking about, he might’ve just overheard some school gossip. Second of all, Amelia is 17, not 12, she can have a boyfriend.” You roll your eyes at your wife, seeing and hearing the panic that she was having.

“I thought we had agreed when she was born that she wasn’t allowed to date until she was 25!” Jessie was whispering yelling at you, not wanting to alert your children.

“That was a joke Jessie, I’m not controlling my kid’s romantic life until they’re 25!” You both had jokingly talked that you wouldn’t let anyone near her, she was your little girl, you both overbearing as brand new parents. You had forgotten about that, obviously realizing that she’s a human and will likely date before she’s 25.

“Well she can’t have a boyfriend.” She crosses her arms, staring at you like you’re the bad guy in this situation. You throw your arms out, not sure why Jessie is upset with you.

“She’s 17, it’s fine, we don’t even know if it’s actually a boyfriend.” You tried to reason with your wife but you could practically see the steam coming from her ears.

“She’s too young to have a boyfriend, she’s too young to be having sex!” Jessie whispers the word ‘sex’ as if just saying it was going to cause a teenage pregnancy somewhere in the world. “We cannot have grandkids yet!”

“Oh my god,” you start to laugh. “You’re fully losing it over this aren’t you?” You couldn’t believe Jessie’s dramatic jump from a potential boyfriend to your daughter giving you grandkids in a matter of seconds.

“I don’t know why you’re so okay with our daughter having sex with a boy we’ve never even met!” Jessie is wildly waving her hands, her face has a look of panic on it.

“Alright, sit, take a deep breath.” You push Jessie’s shoulders forcing her to put her weight up against the desk, half sitting on it. She takes a deep breath and you take one with her. You keep your hands on her shoulders, giving them a squeeze as you talk to her.

“We don’t know he’s her boyfriend. Let’s not jump to conclusions here. Amelia is a smart girl, you know that.” You take her hands in yours. “If she’s determined that now is the time she wants to start dating, I think we need to understand that that’s okay. We can talk with her about it. We’ll tell her our expectations, the expectations we have for her and whoever she wants to date. It’ll be fine.”

Jessie takes her hands from yours, crossing her arms over her chest, letting out a small huff. “But it’s not fine, I don’t trust him, I don’t think he has good intentions.”

“You’ve never met the kid, Jessie just because he’s a teenage boy, doesn’t mean he only wants sex from her.” You pause before you continue, knowing your wife would likely not be happy with the next few words you said. “And Jessie,” you grab her face making her look at you. “if she is dating this boy or dating anyone, and she’s curious about the physical intimacy that comes with that, I think that’s okay.”

“No its-” you hold up your hand to stop Jessie’s sentence.

“Let me finish. If she’s curious and has questions, I’d rather she feel comfortable coming to us than to the internet or her friends who don’t know and will give her terrible information. Yes, 17 is young, but she’s practically an adult Jessie. She’ll be off at school in a year, where she won’t have us to help her with these things.” You can practically see the rage building up in your wife’s face. “Now I'm not going to sit here and tell her to go have sex, but I'm not going to let our daughter be taught that sex is a sinful or scary thing, you know that. We’ve raised them to be open and honest about sex so far, we can’t become a sex-negative household now that she’s at that age where it might be a thought. We can talk with her, have an adult conversation. We’ll explain the emotional aspect that comes with it, we’ll make sure she understands all the aspects of what it means to have sex with someone. And that if,” you take a deep breath, “if she’s planning on, or has any interest in having sex, we’ll get her set with birth control or condoms, probably both.”

“She’s too young, putting her on birth control would be like offering to buy them a hotel room to do it.” You couldn’t believe Jessie’s behavior still, you thought your reasoning would’ve helped her opinion at least a little.

When you first learned you were having a girl, Jessie was admient that no one would go near your daughter until she was 30. But the two of you had done your best to raise your kids to be informed, you taught them about consent early, you taught them the anatomy of where babies come from, when your daughter turned 14, you and Jessie sat her down, giving her the full bird and the bees talk. You did most of the talking, Jessie was there but she looked just as mortified as your daughter did. You taught her sex wasn’t bad and sex wasn’t just for babies, it was for intimacy, connection, enjoyment, it was fun, it was a way to connect with another person, but that didn’t make it any less serious. Jessie had been on board before with these discussions, she didn’t always participate fully, but she was always there and you knew your daughter had gone to her to ask her some questions after to get clarification. But now that the reality of your daughter starting this part of her life was real, Jessie had done a 180.

“Jessie, she’s a teenager, teenagers have hormones. If she wants to have sex, it’s going to happen, teenagers find a way whether we like it or not. I’d rather her be having safe, informed, and protected sex, than unsafe sex in a boy’s mom’s car in a sketchy dark parking lot in the middle of nowhere just so they can avoid getting caught.”

You both sit in silence, Jessie looks at the ground and you look at her.

“I hate that you’re right.” She mumbles after a few minutes.

“I know.” You kiss her cheek with a smile. “Jessie” you grab your wife’s hand, your thumb rubbing over where her wedding band and engagement ring sat, “Let’s just go talk to her, that way we’re not sitting here guessing and making up scenarios. For all we know it’s not a boyfriend.”

“I just can’t believe she wouldn’t tell us. She’s our little girl, she used to tell us everything.” You can now see the sadness in Jessie’s eyes.

“I know, but our little girl is growing up, she’s a moody teenager now, she’s not going to want to share everything with us, and that’s okay.” You sit down next to Jessie, resting your head on her shoulder as you both stare at the door of the office.

“I want her to go back to being so little. I used to be able to hold her in one arm.”

“I know, they both used to be so little.” You and Jessie sat together, your head on her shoulder, reminiscing on the 17 years that seemed to have flown by. Thinking about how small their fingers used to be, how small their clothes were, how they’d babble at you, all of that gone, you now had two grown children.

“We did a pretty good job with them I think. They’re good people.”

“Yeah,” Jessie laughs, “just not to each other.”

“Well they’re siblings.” You respond back. You realize you’ll probably have to talk to your son too about his teasing. “Ready to go talk to her?” You ask Jessie.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to watch her grow up but I don’t think I have a choice.” Jessie says pushing herself off the desk. “Let’s go.”

[starnana7]

every time I remember that the hit show supernatural made God, the literal God from the Bible, canonically bisexual but couldn’t do the same with a random guy who hunts monsters it actually makes me feel physically ill.. like blasphemy is okay but we draw the line at making the main character a little bit queer because it would “upset the heterosexuals men”? okay ig… and it’s so funny to me that they tried SO bad to make dean like really really straight and macho and a manly womanizer (I mean dude has literal porn brain and is obsessed with cars and is a film nerd) And still is the number 1 bissexual boy.. I mean no one that into cowboys is 100% straight 🙄 and if they actually wanted him to be that much of a cishet guy WHY would they make him have a codependent homosexual friendship with his best friend for more than a decade ?? and we have so much subtext to corroborates it that it’s actually insane.

and it’s also rlly funny to me that sam would be the most obvious choice for a queer storyline. like i’m not sure this is true but i heard somewhere that he actually was supposed to like be lgbt and that it’s implied in the show he’s pan bc he basically have sex w/ everyone and doesn’t care (like monsters and stuff). i wholeheartedly disagree bc sure he hited a demon and a werewolf and a kitsune and God knows what more But it still were just women and for me he’s still just straight 💀 we do have gabriel however and i would say that’s a valid argument but i don’t actually like them together because of the whole torturing-sam-every-tuesday-over-and-over-again but it’s still a good take ig. again this is just my opinion But anyways doesn’t matter my point Is that sam always felt like a freak and wanted to be normal and like was more open minded and “less-macho-toxic-behavior” than dean. he was a theater kid and talked about his feelings and all. STILL THO dean went and become The bissexual icon (Not Sam, Dean!!). and the fact that he was more manly actually only emphasized to his sexuality (and him being closeted) and sam being the straight one, and bare with me here. as sam winchester once wisely said “well you are kind of butch they probably think you're compinsating.” (to dean asking why people always assumed they were gay) and like this is so true, sam always felt comfortable in himself and like his nerdier and less cool strong man personality. But dean, oh, dean, no, no, no. and it could all be linked to john. we know how much dean wanted to gain his father approval and respect, all he ever wanted was for john to be proud of him. so he’d listen to the same music as john, same clothes… and so on. but when we really see a glance of him, we realize he’s actually much more “““girly””” (sorry for the term i lacked a better one) than he shows, Especially when compared to sam—who’s supposed to be the more girly one (again sorry for the term lol) or whatever. dean canonically likes taylor swift, chick flick films, actually liked when a woman made him wear underwear, the bailarinas shoe were “speaking to him” in that one ep of cursed objects, and so on. and every time he makes fun of sam for doing something not-manly-enough (like drinking lemon water or drinking from tiny coups) he eventually goes and do the same thing 😭 and i’m 100% sure that the writers just thought “haha funny scene this really straight deadly man does something not so convencional/more feminine(?) haha comedy relief time!!” but it actually just made him have a whole perfect queer background developed in the series. specially with the fact that He Does Overcompensate. why is he always flirting with women, why is he so butch and scary, always talking about straight sex and so on? because he’s really just deep in the closet. and it makes so much sense with john being his father, with him having to hunt two lesbians nuns in his 17 bday, always having to be strong and macho and cool and perfect—and therefore straight. even without cas, dean really does immaculate the bissexual experience and i’m so sorry but this is just true.

and now pointing to the subtext that i mentioned in the first paragraph (lol i can’t believe i’m making a whole rant as to why dean winchester is a confirmed bisexual), that whole confession to that priest where he says he wants experience new feelings, new people, FOR THE FIRST TIME. that always that the show mentioned a gay couple it ALWAYS focused on dean—not sam, DEAN. the gay hunters, the gay couple on the bar that the cupid “made”, the two cosplayers partners… the fact that every time that dean liked something it was borderline fangirl (gay) obsessive (the dr. sexy episode, that wrestler fighter). he Had a gay thing—and was all flustered about it. he flirted with a guy throughout charlie. THE MALE SIREN. the male siren like after that ep i was 100% convinced that man was not straight. he had a hot demon sumer with crowley?!!! and it’s so funny to me that not one of these things involves castiel, so if they really wanted to make dean be that straight why would they do that?? and only to dean, not even once to sam. Like. and not to mention all the homoeretic tension with benny??? sam never had a male best friend like that.. all of that and i didn’t even entered on destiel. Because this then really just confirms that he is Not straight. even if he wasn’t In Love with cas, they had something going on and the fact that if cas was a girl it would 100% be canon and filmed and Everyone would ship—and I really mean everyone—it just makes me go fucking insane. they could’ve had it all. the fanfic episodes, the parallels between dean and cas and “real couples”, ruby and cas duality and the fact that sam indeed had a relationship w/ her. Anyway i’m a # bi dean truth believer and i know this bc same boy # happy pride month to my fav bissexual boy in the whole world

also to anyone that says that “destiel” was unrequited love yes it kinda of was but only bc dean was so deep in the closet, he did love cas. he was indeed a bissexual man. i’ll die on that hill.

[ladykailitha]

Do You Know What Shovels Dig? Graves Part 1

Just dipping my toe into the shovel talks trend.

*

“Hey, Steve?”

Steve turned around and Jonathan frowned. Steve’s eyes were puffy and his nose was red. “Oh, hey, man. What’s up?”

Jonathan could tell he was trying not to wipe the obvious tears from his face. As if that wouldn’t draw attention to them.

“I wanted to talk to you about you and Eddie’s relationship--”

Steve crumpled. That was the only way to describe it. The man was barely holding it together as it was, but it seemed that that was straw that broke the camel’s back.

“Look, I get it,” Steve snapped. “Don’t break Eddie’s heart. It sooo soft and I’m suuuuch a bitch. I don’t need the shovel talk from you.” The last word was said with such venom, Jonathan was forced to take a step back.

“Who’s been giving you shovel talks?” he asked.

Steve threw his arms in the air. “It would be easier to list off who hasn’t. The Byers family and El, only I can’t say that because you’re here. So just Will, your mom, and El.”

Jonathan frowned. “Even Robin?” Because that didn’t sound right. He had seen the two of them together and they were like freakishly close.

“Oh, yeah,” Steve snarled bitterly. “That’s the latest one. The one that makes me just want to throw myself into the god damn pool.”

Well, shit.

“Apparently this is Eddie first real relationship and since being gay is so hard right now, breaking his heart would be a disservice to humankind,” Steve mocked. “I asked her about my heart and my first relationship with a guy. But apparently that is as important as Eddie’s experience.”

Now that? Jonathan didn’t believe. But Steve was clearly hurt and was being dramatic about it. Which he was going to allow because holy shit.

But apparently Steve was just getting started. “At least Eddie’s friends all showed up together to give one shovel talk so that was nice. Hop and Wayne each did it while cleaning their hunting rifles, like they weren’t terrifying enough. I mean Mike’s an ass, so his I could brush off, but Dustin and Erica? Why does Eddie get more loyalty from them when I literally saved their lives? But Lucas and Max also double teamed me, so that was all sorts of fun. Nancy casually brought up that she has three guns now. So yeah, just get it over with so I can go back to being the worst boyfriend in Hawkins!”

Jonathan forced him to sit down. “That was a lot to unpack, I’m not going to lie. But take a deep breath for me, can you do that?”

Steve nodded and took a deep breath.

“Now let it out slow,“ Jonathan continued. Steve followed his instruction. “Great now keep doing that until your heart no longer feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest.”

Steve started breathing more normally and Jonathan sat next to him. “I’m not actually here for a shovel talk. I was wondering if you or Eddie would be willing to talk to Will about liking boys.”

Steve blinked at him for a moment. “What?”

“Yeah, he’s going through a really hard time with it right now,” Jonathan explained. “And I’m not really getting through to him because I’m straight and it’s pretty much meaningless coming from me.”

“Oh.”

“But no, I get your reaction, dude,” he said. “I really do. Has anyone given Eddie the shovel talk?”

Steve shrugged. “It’s not like I can ask, is it? ‘Oh hey, Eddie, anyone threaten your life over our relationship lately. No, no, not homophobes, I mean our friends? No? Well that’s just peachy!’“

Jonathan barked out a laugh. “Yeah, no matter how you phrase that it’s going to come off as bitchy. Especially if no one has.”

Steve nodded.

“Look, if you talk to Will for me,” Jonathan said, “I’ll talk to Eddie. Deal?”

Steve looked at the hand for a moment before he shook it. “Deal.”

*

Jonathan knocked on the Munson’s door. Eddie opened it with a look of surprise.

“Look, man,” Eddie said with a sigh. “I don’t sell anymore. And besides your friend from Cali has better stuff.”

Jonathan held up his prized. “Oh, I’m aware, I’m offering to share.”

Eddie looked at him for a moment and then closed the door behind him. “Yeah, okay.”

Jonathan lit two blunts and passed one to Eddie.

Eddie took a drag and sighed. “Shit this stuff is good.”

Jonathan just smiled.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the share, man,” Eddie said after a few minutes, “but why are you here?”

“I went over to Steve’s to ask him if he would be willing to talk to Will for me,” he said after taking a drag.

“Because your brother is gayer then the May pole?” Eddie supplied.

“Yup,” he replied. “Only our Stevie wasn’t doing so good.”

Eddie leapt to his feet. “What?!”

Jonathan tugged on his pant leg. “Sit down, dude. Let me explain before you go off half cocked and make things worse.”

Eddie sat down with a grumble. “You better start talking and you better do it fast.”

“In my experience shovel talks are for people you don’t trust not for people you care about,” Jonathan said slowly. “Only it seems our friends didn’t get the memo.”

“People have been giving Steve the shovel talk?” Eddie asked, eyes wide, jutting his chin forward in shock. “But no one’s said shit to me!”

Jonathan winced. “That’s kinda what me and Steve were afraid of.”

Eddie felt his heart sink to his stomach. “Do you--did he say how long it’s been going on?”

Jonathan shook his head. “But the fact that only my house and El haven’t given him the shovel talk I would probably bet since you two announced your relationship.”

“Shit,” Eddie whispered. “I bet the first two were funny, endearing even. Steve likes that kind of stuff. And then as it kept happening...”

“Yeah,” Jonathan agreed. “Has he been distant lately?”

Eddie closed his eyes and nodded. “Now I know why.” He thought for a moment. “Is there a way to call everyone together without alerting Steve, too?”

Jonathan shrugged. “If his boyfriend were to ‘accidentally’ turn off the walkie for an hour for some hot makeup sex...”

Eddie laughed. “I can absolutely do that.”

“I’ll set it up,” Jonathan said. He flicked the remainder of his blunt to the ground and stood up to grind it out under his boot.

*

Dang it, this was getting longer than I planned, but I’ll put out a part two later.

Edit: and it’s later! And part three! Part four and Part FIVE! Part Six!!!

[project-sekai-facts]

How are we feeling about ensekai’s emu3 translation!!! (I’m mad)

(if you remember the 3 whole posts i made when asahi got de-gayed on EN you'll know i am mad too and that this is probably going to get long)

i don't like to be too cynical but it was so obvious that they were going to change that line, i had a feeling since the event first released on JP and after the incident with Asahi where I went through and tracked down multiple other examples of EN removing queer subtext it became clear to me that in no way shape or form was "emu-chan really loves nene-chan" making it to EN without getting changed. what i didn't expect was them changing Nene's line after Luka's comment, which actually makes this whole situation far worse than many of their other instances of toning down queer subtext.

for anyone who isn't aware of what happened, in chapter 5 of the current Emu event, there's a scene where Nene, Rui and the Virtual Singers are talking about what would cheer Emu up. The vsingers all talk about how much Emu loves spending time with Nene, leading to the following exchange

If you look for them, any fan TL of this scene will be something similar to this:

Luka: ...Fufu. Emu-chan really loves Nene-chan, doesn't she? Nene: Th-that's nothing special...

EN's official translation is this:

So what's the issue? I'll start with Luka's part. In the original text, she uses the word daisuki, which can mean to "like a lot" or "love". It's a word you will see frequently in the idol/idol-adjacent genre of games, due to its ambiguity in that it can be read as either platonic or romantic when used towards a person, and often will be used in ambiguous situations so that it's harder to confirm the writers' intentions either way. so here, fans of the emu/nene ship could view the fact that emu loves spending her time with nene as more on the romantic side, but people who don't like the ship could view it as platonic and move on.

while they didn't translate daisuki directly, Luka's line still works, and still contains the ambiguity that works as ship tease in the original text. it's a perfectly fine localisation that still conveys the original intent. despite that, there is something to be said about EN's consistent refusal to translate daisuki as love in most instances when it's not used on An/Kohane (but then again, EN has literally teased An/Kohane on their twitter account so is it all that surprising?).

Here's some examples:

Aibou no koto ga daisuki de / he loves his partner -> he cares about his partner very much (The Power of Unity chapter 7 when Kaito is comparing Arata to Akito and Toya)

HARUKA-CHAN, DAISUKI DAYOOOO!!! / HARUKA-CHAN, I LOOOOOVEEE YOU!!! -> You're the best!!! (Dear Me, As I Was Back Then chapter 4 when minori is at an ASRUN concert. this one isn't actually that great of a localisation)

Honachan no koto daisuki dakara. Kore de iinda yo. / I love Honachan, so this is fine. -> I want what's best for her. And this is it. (Leo/need main story chapter 14 after Saki tells Honami she won't bother her anymore)

Minna daisuki de - taisetsuna tomodachi na no / I love them all - they're my dearest friends -> They're all amazing, and very dear to me. (Leo/need main story chapter 17. this isn't good either)

What's particularly amusing about that last one is that there's a second official translation for it that I assume was done by JP staff (since EN never promoted doing the Journey to Bloom subs like they did back when they provided subs for Petit SEKAI) that actually keeps the word daisuki as love.

Yeah. I love all my friends - and they mean the world to me.

It's a better localisation than the official EN team one.

Questionable localisation choices aside, Luka's line is fine and is actually in line with the original. The issue with this localisation very much lies with Nene's part, because that is an entirely new line.

In the original text, Nene's "that's just normal" or "that's nothing special" or however you choose to TL it, is meant to be her questioning Luka's statement, since all the things that the other vsingers said that Emu liked were pretty normal things like going shopping and playing video games with nene. To Nene, these things are normal activities for them to do together, so she gets embarrassed by the fact that Luka concludes from that information that Emu loves Nene. When I dissect it like that I think you can really tell what the writers were going for here lol.

"That's just us being friends" does still convey the idea that Nene thinks these activities aren't anything out of the ordinary and she isn't sure why the vsingers are picking these out as some of Emu's favorite things to do, but it's very different from the original line. "But those are just normal things we do together" is something I just came up with on the spot, but it's a lot closer to the original text and still conveys the same meaning. The fact they changed the line to "that's just us being friends" is, honestly, not even subtle that they're covering up queer subtext. The original scene was very clearly written in as ship tease, and EN mentioning "friends" for no reason, especially since the word nor anything close to it was not used in the original, is instantly a red flag because it's like the go-to for queerbaiting and censorship. This was intentional. There was no need for them to specify that the relationship is platonic, Luka's part is ambiguous for a reason so that fans can view it how they like.

Just to top all this off, here's Rin's original line just before that Luka+Nene interaction:

Oh, and! And! She said that playing games with Nene-chan is also super fun!

And here's Rin's line from the official EN translation:

That's not the same thing, but even more weirdly, the incorrect part (super fun->really loves) is a correct translation for the part changed in Luka's line. So, they can do it, they are willing to say "really loves", just not in the right places. Maybe because Rin's part is less personal than Luka's part? It's strange actually, this isn't the first time they've done this either. Off the top of my head I can think of an example from Shiho's Varied Kindness 2* story where they translated the word "suki" as really loves, despite that being much stronger than the original word used (and the fact that daisuki is used a lot in the Leo/need stories and it's incredibly rare if not entirely unknown for them to translate it correctly).

It's not subtle that they're trying to remove implications of the characters possibly being queer, they did it in curtain call and they did it in walk on and on, and multiple times before then too. And considering some of the content in this year's events and the amount of times they say daisuki alone, it's gonna keep happening. honestly i hate the fact that i keep trying to justify the translations in these posts. these translations are intentional. what happened in the curtain call translation back in october says enough. when a character who uses explicitly romantic language towards another guy passes as a straight character in the translation you know they're doing it on purpose.

oh and once again, it's only the EN server that has this issue. The scene in question was translated almost word-for-word on the TW and KR servers.

read fan translations. they're better than what EN gives us and people put a lot of effort into them.

[jeansplaytoy]

Complaining - Ony. 2

<<part one part three>>

you and ony broke up two weeks ago because he cheated on you.

language, ymir bein a lil lesbian stud :), sexual references, mentions of cheating.

“y/n? oh, cheated on her.”

“ony? that nigga a lame.”

that’s the way you talked about each other. did you mean it? kind of… sometimes. but other times you just wanted to know why he did what he did, like what other bitch could be any better than you?

and him on the other hand, deep down, he wished you would get with another nigga. you can flirt, talk, do anything you wanted, but he knew the minute you got into a relationship, it was gonna be over by the end of the week.

or that’s what normally happened.

you’d end things right then and there with ony and he’d end up back with you two seconds later. you don’t know if it was because he was manipulating or gaslighting you, or if it was just because you were too dumb to realize that the same things were gonna keep happening, and there was no way you were gonna just end it like that.

but apparently, he had a new girlfriend. and you had no one.

that wasn’t a bad thing though, not in your mind. because at the end of the day, he wouldn’t find anyone else better than you.

“look at they miserable asses. acting like they the power couple of the century.” you mumbled while sitting beside mikasa with your feet hanging in the pool. mikasa pulled her shades up and raised her eyebrows. “girl they look so fucking stupid.” she whispered and looked at you. “you really think he hitting that poor shit every night?” she frowned.

“i don’t know but her shit ain’t wetter than mines.” you grinned a little at your own joke. mikasa laughed. “he really got with the girl he cheated on you with. what dumbass boy does that shit?” she shook her head.

“one named ony. i bet she think she got one up on me the way she be giving me stares and shit.” you said, looking back into the pool where everyone splashed and swam.

“oh yeah she definitely don’t like yo ass.” mikasa said, softly kicking her feel in the blue, glowing water. “but at the same time, who the fuck cares?” she laughed with you.

it was obvious ony talked about you to her, the way she would post on her instagram stories about how ‘i’m better than his last😘’ and ‘feel bad for who he dated before me, this mf really fun.’ not to mention the way she talked about you when you went through those messages two weeks ago. you should’ve found her ass at that exact moment.

but with some help from ya home girl, ymir, you found her insta real quick. turns out she was already following you, you just ain’t follow her back.

you stood up, tapping mikasas shoulder. “i wanna smoke some weed.” you said. mikasa nodded and followed you inside the house. “where is this woman?” you squinted while trying to make your way through everyone. you went over to the second living room of the house and saw ymir, slouched on the couch, with a freshly rolled joint in her hand.

you smiled, grabbing mikasas hand and leading her over. “there go yo man.” you smiled while pointing at jean. mikasa rolled her eyes and walked over to the couch across from the one you were gonna sit at, to sit beside jean.

“heyyy ymir.” you nudged ymir’s head a little before sitting on her lap. she wore a black shirt with grey sweatpants, eyes traveling down your body before she looked back up at you.

“y/n, i just rolled this shit.” she said. you held your index and thumb finger up, waiting for her to pass the blunt to you. and she did. “and why you always sitting on me?” she frowned, sitting up a little. “cus you gay as hell, and i am too.” you joked, taking a hit of her blunt and exhaling.

you and ymir didn’t completely have feelings for each other, not literally. but you’d flirt with her from time to time just as she did with you. it was really a normal thing for you to be all up on her anywhere you went, unless you were in a relationship, she’d have to keep her hands off of you because she didn’t wanna have to beat a boys ass just because she was touchy with you. it was just a fun little thing you did.

but she put her hand around your waist, moving you off of her lap and beside her instead, keeping her hand where it was.

“you and ony talkin again?” she asked, waiting for you to pass her back what she rolled up. “hell no, cus he got a girlfriend.” you said. “say on god.” connie said from behind you with a towel hanging off his shoulder. “i don’t put things on god connie. you his bestfriend, i thought you knew.” you said, giving ymir her blunt back.

“he ain’t tell me shit.” connie shook his head, drinking from a cup he had. “bro why y’all gotta be so gay all the time?” jean squinted at you and ymir. “it ain’t like we actually like each other jean. we just be playing.” you mumbled, adjusting your bikini a little.

“we gon move on from the fact that he got wit’ another girl right after y’all broke up?” ymir said while staring at her phone that was practically in your lap, because her arm was still around you.

“naw, it’s good. he can keep that girl.” you laughed a little while shaking your head. “what girl?” eren frowned, walking up to the group. to your surprise, ony wasn’t too far behind him. when eren looked at you, he glanced back at them before making an ‘o’ with his lips. “ohhh.” he whispered before sitting down.

“hey.” onys girlfriend waved at everyone. almost everyone stared at her except for connie and jean who thought it would at least be polite.

“you his girlfriend?” connie frowned and tilted his head a little. “onys? yeah.” she smiled and nodded. connie hummed and nodded. “that’s cool, thats cool.” he mumbled, clearing his throat before looking at jean.

you could tell jean wanted to laugh, which made you, mikasa, and ymir wanna laugh. but you being you, slipped up a little, letting out a soft chuckle.

the girl looked at you with raised eyebrows and resting eyes. “hm?” she hummed in question. you looked at her. “what? oh, nothing.” you said before looking at ony who stared at you. you could tell he was pissed off at the way you were acting already, but he faintly laughed before sitting his girlfriend down.

“i’ll be back, left sum upstairs earlier.”

you knew he was lying like a bitch. that’s why you waited about three minutes after he left to act like you had to pee.

you made your way upstairs, glancing back to gain an odd stare from his girlfriend. you stared back before walking through the second floor, finding where he went.

opening every unlocked door, regretting some of them before you finally found him, with another girl. “damn, and you got a whole female downstairs that she don’t even know about.” you said while standing by the doorway. he pushed the girl off of his lap and led her towards the door.

“hold up.” he mumbled to her before dragging you in the room. you stopped and looked back at him with a frown.

“what the fuck is wrong wit’cho ass?” he squinted while closing the door. “what’s wrong wit me, nigga what’s wrong wit you? yo ass brought this random bitch around the group and don’t nobody like her.” you pointed towards the door to signal that you were talking exactly about his new girl.

“nah, ain’t nobody got a problem with nothing but you.” ony frowned at you.

“maybe if you kept yo eyes off of me so much, you’d see the way the rest of the group was looking at her. now ion know what you thought you did when you went to her and cheated on me, but nigga you downgraded. hella bad.” you said before pushing past him and making your way out the door.

ony stared at you as you left, eyes forcing themselves down your body. holding his stare on the way your thighs and ass moved when you walked, he rolled his eyes, dragging his hands down his face.

“fuckkk.” he whispered.

this was so lame 🙄🙄🙄 anyways i hope u liked it, posted it early just for u!

[danrifics]

not that it wasn’t already obvious but they totally knew what they were doing w/ that gay ass “last disco” bachelorette party ass hat. i found it online & it’s literally listed as a bridal hat in the title & also the veil is detachable so like….come on. idk i’m just so grossed out by them 🙄

dan howell when i catch you mf 😭

[thesauce8]

I dont think SNS antis know what they’re talking about half the time tbh.

“They have wives” So?? Didn’t the guys from Brokeback Mountain have wives? Literally what does that change?? If they act like theyre in love then they do. Having wives doesnt negate that.

“It’s incest” Well…no. They’re not related which is kind of a staple for incest.

“Kishimoto based them on him and his brother” Ok??? Naruto and Sasuke do not act like brothers which is why we ship them. Idgaf who Kishimoto felt inspired by cause he failed at delivering the brother part. Last time I checked Kishimoto wasn’t a ninja and he wasn’t Naruto Uzumaki so I think we’re good.

“Y’all make everything gay” We’re not making anything up 😭. Taking content straight from canon 99% of the time. They factually have more intimate interactions with each other than with their wives who they canonically love. We’re not “making” anything gay. Kishimoto is doing a fine job of doing that himself.

I’m not sure what Kishimoto was thinking but i do know that Naruto and Sasukes relationship has heavy romantic undertones whether accidental or not. If you’re gonna close your eyes, plug your ears, and ignore it then there’s nothing I can do but stop whining my god.

You can ship whatever ships y’all want but ignoring the obvious doesnt help your cases. It’s a perfectly fine and sensible ship. It really isn’t a big deal. Leave SNS shippers alone lmao.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bad Buddy x ATOTS aka Damn You WMT

Dear @waitmyturtles, fuck you, respectfully wen-kexing-apologist. Turts, I have shit to do, I do not have time for this. But once again I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT SO, FUCK ME I GUESS WE’RE DOING A FOREST EPISODE. 

More specifically, we are doing an Our Skyy 2, Episode 15 Part 1/4 post, probably far earlier than I should be, and definitely instead of doing work I absolutely need to be doing. But Pat and Phupa’s interactions in this part of the episode have me thinking about Phupa and his relationship to queerness. 

I don’t know about anyone else, but I had a marvelous time watching Part 1 of our latest Bad Buddy x ATOTS crossover episode. Why? Because it is absolutely incredibly fun to watch Pat personally terrorize the local gay elder. 

What I have really been enjoying in these crossover episodes is watching the ways the similarities and differences in Phupa, Pat, Pran, and Tian play out. Each person spends most of the time paired with the character who play the same role in the relationship but whose personalities and approaches to their relationships are very different. Phupa is the support in his relationship with Tian, Pat is the support in his relationship with Pran, but Phupa never bends and Pat always gives in. 

The thing I love about Pat is that he is unabashed in his queerness, he rolls up on to the scene and starts flirting the second he opens his mouth, and then he 

Literally

Never

Stops

He annoys Pran, he tests the structural integrity of the house with Pran, sure, but he also wakes up next to Phupa and then proceeds to never let Phupa forget that a) he would and b) that they thought they might have. 

He rolls up on the scene as Phupa and his coworker are getting ready to head into the forest, and he starts talking openly and loudly about Phupa’s boyfriend, and the relationship problems they are having. 

Phupa is less than amused.

Phupa does not want Pat coming with him, Pat sneaks into the back of the truck, Phupa begrudgingly allows Pat to come with him and Pat says “you’re the cutest”

Phupa is less than amused. 

I’m gonna skip ahead a little bit and then regress if that is okay with everyone, after Phupa puts bandaid’s on Pat says yet again “what a cute print, Chief”, “you have a cute side, Chief” 

“No wonder teacher is head over heels for you,” 

Here Pat is, one half of the first queer couple to interact with Phupa and Tian in god knows how long or possibly ever, talking casually, happily, loudly, and openly about Phupa’s relationship with Tian and Tian’s feelings for Phupa. Reaffirming to Phupa in a way that it is obvious that Tian is in love with him.  

And still Phupa is not having it. 

As they continue their walk, Pat starts smelling the trees and Phupa is like oh jesus fucking christ what the hell are you doing you are making my life a living hell- “What are you doing?” 

And in response, Pat is very open and sappy about Pran. 

gif from @liyazaki

“Pran smells so good, if he is nearby, I can find him,” and Phupa is flabbergasted. He just stands there for a second, looking Pat up and down like “okay, seriously…what the fuck?” and he is so obvious about it in the way he looks at Pat and in the way he walks away, that Pat is able to tell immediately that Phupa is, once again, not vibing with Pat’s casual references to his queerness, or overt and honest love and admission of intimacy with his partner. Pat knows Pran’s scent so well that he is confident he could pick it up in the middle of the forest. That suggests a level of familiarity with a body that would traditionally be considered uncouth, if you were polite, and doubly so if you are queer. 

gif from @liyazaki

When Phupa starts walking like he’s over the conversation, Pat’s easy smile shifts to confusion “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body before?” 

(Translation: Aren’t you also so in love with your partner, and aren’t you so intimate with your partner that you could recognize his scent anywhere you went? Looking at you watermelon soap sponsorship…looking at you tea bag smell pouch…)

And it’s the inclusion of the word body that really strikes me here, because to say “what? Haven’t you smelled Teacher before?” evokes a different relationship than “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body?” does. 

“That’s too bad” Pat says, and leans suggestively close to Phupa. Like a cat toying with a mouse. Pat likes needling at Phupa’s discomfort around explicit references to Pat and Pran’s sex life. And while we know Phupa has most certainly smelled Tian’s body before, Phupa SPINS around, has this brief moment of absolute wide eye about being so blatantly asked a question that alludes to his physical relationship to and with Tian, looks Pat dead in the eye and says “I’m not a pervert like you,”

gif from @liyazaki

Harsh words. Incredibly harsh words, especially because of the connotations of queerness with perversion, especially because iirc from the KinnPorsche LGBTQ+ Facts special on IQIYI, pervert is often an insult used in Thailand for queer people. Phupa is uncomfortable with Pat’s open conversation about his queer relationship, about his queer intimacy and he chooses to meet Pat with homophobia in the way of a slur. 

But Pat is having fun, and I honestly believe he expects that kind of reaction. Pat and Pran were awkward witnesses to Tian and Phupa’s little domestic about watching him shower and looking lovingly into their eyes, but Phupa is stiff the whole time, he is aware that he is engaging in that conversation while other people are present, and he can’t take it and he literally flees. And some of that is because he is getting riled up about their fight, but we see in part 2 of this episode that when Phupa is actually angry with Tian about something, he has no problem standing up and planting his feet to confront Tian about it. 

Anyway, Pat is having fun, and Pat wants to test Phupa and so, completely unphased he starts talking about how Tian smells, as if he is familiar. He is like "my boyfriend smells soooo good, do you smell your boyfriend's body? Your boyfriend smells good" and it’s a direct display of Pat's comfortability with his partner, their closeness, and their level of intimacy. 

“Teacher Tian smells so good” Pat says with the world’s widest grin 

“How do you know that?” Phupa asks almost challenging

“I thought you said you’d never smelled him” 

gif from @liyazaki

Caught ya. Phupa has indirectly admitted to intimacy. Pat has successfully engaged Phupa in a conversation that is completely about Phupa’s queerness. 

And as Part 2 goes on, we are made more and more aware of how little outward public affection Phupa and Tian engage in. If Phupa and Tian touch around other people, there has to be a legitimate reason to do so (Tian fainted, Tian fainted again, Tian fainted a third time, Tian is drunk, Phupa is drunk, etc.). In this episode, Tian is weak and almost collapses in to Phupa’s arms because he exerted himself too much with his heart. Phupa’s hand is on Tian’s back and then Tian is away from him and standing upright, and when Phupa, Tian, Pat, and Pran exit the forest and enter the clearing of the safe house. 

Pat is using Pran as a crutch, and Phupa and Tian have placed a child in between them. They are not touching, they aren’t even standing all that close to each other. Phupa is in ranger mode, sure, but he’s not really in front of people he has to impress, he doesn’t have to be completely professional and on guard when they are in the shack together. Especially when his partner with a body that is currently trying to reject his heart, is sitting there looking on the verge of a heart attack. 

Phupa is making direct eye contact with Tian here, he is worried about Tian here, his focus is on Tian here, and yet he does not offer any physical comfort. No reassuring touch, no forehead kiss, hell, not even a hand on the back of his head to check for fever. He’s focused on getting the radio working, which is incredibly important in case there is a medical emergency, but he does not spare a second to physically ground him and Tian. He can only look from a distance. Because there are other people around, there is a child around. Phupa can’t be seen engaging in homosexual softness, Phupa has to be seen as a forest ranger, doing his job, his actual job that involves rescuing his stubborn dumbass boyfriend from yet again getting lost in the forest, but does not involve him being in love. 

Again, Phupa truly has no one here he needs to impress, he’s in a room with a child, his boyfriend, and a couple of nuisances that have shown him absolutely zero respect since the moment they waltzed in to his neck of the woods. 

At dinner even, after things have settled down, Phupa still cannot bring himself close to Tian in front of prying eyes. 

Pat and Pran? Literally sitting side by side, knees touching. They are as close to each other as they possibly can be without literally sitting in each other’s laps. 

Here is a close up of Pat and Pran literally making physical contact with each other at the knee and at the elbow. 

And what Phupa and Tian do not know, is that Pat and Pran can't be outwardly and openly affectionate to one another in public when they are at school and so they make up for it by being disgusting when they aren't in school. Pat and Pran have to keep up a pretense, and its a tragic undertone to their ability to diffuse the brewing Tian and Phupa fight by looking at each other, nodding, and then improvising a fight realistic enough to get Phupa and Tian to pull them apart. 

Because Pat and Pran’s relationship at home is a metaphor for external homophobia, because they are so used to it by now, the having to hide, to pretend they don’t like each other, to pretend they are mad, to pretend they aren’t in love, that they can just ease right in to staged fights at the drop of a fucking hat. But even in their fake fight they wind up pressed up against each other. 

(hehe, screen shot funny, look at Phupa, he zoomin’)

Because for so long the only way they could have physical contact in public was by fighting, was by beating each other up, was by pushing or pulling each other away from a fight. Pat and Pran understand that Tian and Phupa are having a fight that they also once had, but they can also see the parts underneath it, the parts that make Phupa ask why the emphasis on him in Tian’s story is about Phupa being in love with Tian rather than his work. 

Pat is simultaneously taking the opportunity of being hours and hours away from home, from where he has to hide his relationship, to be as openly and obviously in love with Pran as he has always been and is telling Phupa he is safe to be gay around. That he and Pran are safe people to be gay around, are safe people for him to be openly affectionate with his boyfriend around. 

And that stems from the parts of Pat and Phupa that are wildly different. 

Like, it is very very notable that Pat confesses his feelings for Pran practically as soon as he realizes that he has feelings for him and initiates the rooftop kiss which they share before they are even together, and then they have a bunch of little kisses, and they sneak as many touches as they can, and they make out multiple times in the show 

And Phupa and Tian have…a single forehead kiss and then one kiss, at the top of a mountain, where no one would ever be able to see them after their story is complete. 

In last week’s crossover episode, the level of intimacy that Phupa engages in with Tian is called out, even by Aof himself with the roleplaying scene between Pat and Pran where they pretend to be Phupa and Tian putting up a mosquito net and conclude that they absolutely must have kissed then. 

But we know they didn’t. We know how painstakingly long it takes for Phupa and Tian to reach that level of intimacy with one another. 

I'm even thinking backstory-wise, what is forest ranger training like? Is it part of the military? Did Phupa's gay ass have to enlist in a presumably male dominated field and like, go to training, and be around a bunch of guys, and make sure they didn't suspect he was gay?

I’m thinking about the moments in last week’s episode where it seemed like things were going better between Phupa and Tian, and it was always when Phupa was physically affectionate with Tian, putting his arm around him and not letting him go, when they were at karaoke, and when they were drunkenly stumbling home together, again locked in eachother’s embrace, where anyone could see them. 

To regress as I promised back to the leech scene I am struck by what the approach to removing the leeches says about Pat and Phupa respectively. 

Pat rips the leech off of him and Phupa takes time to put a lighter to them and pluck them off in a way that does not hurt Pat

Pat rips the leech off and bleeding for it, hurting himself in the process, because he is impulsive and impatient, Pat bleeds emotion, he's practically incapable of hiding what he's feeling, and he must obey his emotions before all else. Therefore, in Bad Buddy Episode 5, when he realizes he has feelings for Pran, Pat immediately has to talk to Pran about his feelings, immediately leans in to the emotion he is feeling in the present moment, and initiates a kiss. A kiss that leaves him feeling blissful, and that leaves him hurt because Pran walks away, because Pran has known forever how much he likes Pat, because Pat has only just figured out his feelings, he hasn’t had to sit with them for long, and yet that kiss is an equally strong release for both of them. When Phupa removes the leech from Pat’s leg he is methodical and patient, he tries to minimize the wound, it takes longer but it has the same result which is why it takes so damn long for him and Tian to get together. When I watches ATOTS and they touched pinkies under that blanket and I went "ah yes! This is the part where you start making out and fucking cause they are adults who have maybe been in a relationship before and who have both been obviously painfully aware of their feelings for eachother since the moment they laid eye on each other"...and then they don’t. Phupa waits, and waits, and waits. 

I think the fundamental thing that I see replaying in this episode especially, and with Pat and Phupa’s interactions especially is the elder versus younger queer mentality we got in Moonlight Chicken, with very different characters from Jim and Li Ming, but following a similar pattern of restraint and time versus just jumping right in. 

And it’s also why I think the conversation between Pran and Phupa is so important:

gifs by @nanons

Pat and Pran’s need to keep their relationship secret because of their family’s, and because of Pran’s mom specifically is a metaphor for external homophobia. Pat and Pran are extremely comfortable in their sexuality, very open in their love for one another when they are amongst other queer people, or amongst allies, when they are away from their hometown or when they are in the privacy of their homes. 

There are a lot of different pieces in play around Phupa and Tian’s relationship, but there is ultimately a metaphor at the most or a blatant sense at the least of internal homophobia on the part of Phupa. 

Pat has chosen to stay “in the closet” in order to be with Pran. In a convo with @shortpplfedup about this, Nini said it the most accurate and heart wrenching line: “It's honestly that Pran can't really ever compare to Pat's sacrifice here, and he KNOWS it,” 

Similarly, Phupa believes that Tian has made a sacrifice to be with him, and he knows it. Which is why he can’t bring himself to go to Tian’s birthday, because Tian has left before, because he is scared every time Tian goes that he will realize that Phupa isn’t enough. Because Phupa is afraid of being seen as Tian’s partner. Because Phupa is really only capable of being physically affectionate behind closed doors. When they are completely alone.  Cause even in the camp, when the child is sleeping and Pat and Pran are off literally fucking in the tent minding their own goddamn business, Phupa cannot bring himself to touch Tian.

They’re sharing place but not space, or whatever it was that Ayan said to Akk in their Our Skyy 2 episodes. When Phupa gives Tian his medicine, at most their fingers brush, they don’t sit down together, they don’t ground themselves with touch. They share this place, but they do not encroach on each other’s personal space…

…until Phupa falls asleep

gif by @earthpirapat

At which point Tian gets up, and places his blanket on him, and physical touches his arm, his shoulder, etc. as he is adjusting the blanket for him. 

Tian initiates the touch, Tian stayed in the village with him, Tian is sacrificing his health to be here with Phupa. Phupa has spent 90% of his time alone with the bouncing ball of sunshine that is Pat, and 5% of his time with the chaotic homosexual energy of Pat and Pran together, and to be real, as much as we know about Pat and Pran’s relationship, and as much depth as we are able to pull from these specific characters interacting in the way they do, Phupa has no idea what Pat and Pran have been through to be where they are. 

To anyone who does not know Pat and Pran’s story, they seem like nothing more than two horny young adults in love, who feel no need to hide themselves and their queerness away, that have never had a struggle in their life, and do not understand the trials and tribulations of navigating an older queer relationship, who will last the length of a honeymoon period and then disappear at the first sign of real conflict. Thus, I think Phupa grossly underestimates the company he is currently keeping.

So I think, personally, Phupa is kinda of struck by the sudden and unexpected depth that comes from Pran. That Pran is able to identify and then absolutely hone in and strike at the exact things that Phupa is struggling with. As much as Pat has both relished in the freedom he has to be disgustingly in love with his boyfriend in the woods, and as much as Pat has tried to make himself an obviously safe person to be openly gay around, Phupa is incapable of understanding what he can learn from Pat and Pran’s relationship until he realizes these boys have a lot more in common with him than he thought, and that their relationship and their relationship to one another is more complex and therefore more similar to him and Tian’s situation than he would like. 

Pran and Phupa carry the weight of feeling like nothing they do will ever compare to the sacrifices their partner has made to be with them. I didn’t get much in to Pat and Tian here, but their interaction makes it clear that they both carry the weight of feeling like their partner does not need them. 

Phupa has literally saved Tian’s life on numerous occasions, Tian is chronically ill, Tian has limitations. Phupa is a forest ranger, who is a foundation in his community, who is skilled and competent, and fiercely independent. Pat is disorganized, and impulsive, his father is the reason he and Pran can’t be open about their relationship, he is the reason Pran got sent away. 

We get a fun reversal with dynamics in these Bad Buddy x ATOTS episodes because Tian and Phupa are older, but Pat and Pran have an entire lifetime of navigating and overcoming conflict under their belt. Pat and Pran have already weathered the storm of the fight that Tian and Phupa are having. They have already settled in to who they are, but Pat and Pran (Pran especially) are able to see the ways that always giving in and never backing down wears on a person. Pran learns from seeing the pain that Tian is in that being uncompromising might cause fractures in their relationship in the future. 

Tian and Phupa (Phupa especially) are learning how to resolve their conflicts. Pran, who is holding on to Tian and Phupa’s story so tightly because it is shared, because it is open, because anyone who wants to can know about it, pushes Phupa, who cannot cope with being portrayed as being in love with Tian, to read all of the diary Tian published online. Pran pushes Phupa to push through the emotional blocks, to push past his initial concerns, and to assume Tian wrote and published this story with both an understanding of who is partner is and what Phupa is comfortable with, and with no intention of hurting anybody. 

Anyway, all of this to say, that this episode has really made me analyze Phupa with an internalized homophobia lens, and though one can never trust a P’Aof trailer, it has left me with two impressions. 

On the subject of Phupa and internalized homophobia, and needing to move past that (and more) in order for his relationship with Tian to survive this fight, @shortpplfedup said it best: 

“Now I'm thinking about one moment from the preview (but just a moment!) where Phupha tells Tian he's not gonna sneak to look at him, he's gonna OPENLY look at him”

And cause it seems like Phupa learned some things from the Bothersome Boys:

--

Case in point:

Here's multiple hours of my life I will never get back, at least I had fun! Time to go do the work I was supposed to be doing tonight :p

That's all folks!

[misskattylashes]

The Ballad of Miles Peter Kane

I’m writing this because 80% of the speculation in the AM/TLSP/MK fandom is about Alex – ‘he shags groupies, he’s gay, he’s bi, he’s autistic, he’s an arrogant bastard’....the list is endless. Because he is our master of deception and subterfuge, he opens himself up to speculation.

But on the surface Miles is so different. Happy, smiley, seemingly open Miles, sharing his home and his dog and his family on social media. Chatting away in interviews like a little bird. People think he has it together.

But dig a little deeper and read between the lines, and I get a completely different picture of Miles from the Rascal of 2008 to our One Man Band of 2024.

I have been watching some early interviews with Miles recently and he shoehorns the topic of women and girls into them far more often than Alex ever has. A simple question about if he likes meat is met with a ‘not in a gay way’. At a time when Alex was being photographed looking like Alexa’s little brother or Arielle’s hot gay pal, Miles was being ‘papped’ with his tongue down the throat of the latest hot model or Page Three Girl. There was a sexy girl in every video. And before you say it, yes there were in AM’s videos, but find me one where Alex interacts with them. There was also Miles’ relationship with Suki Waterhouse which I find hard to believe wasn’t real, unless he is far better than Alex at faking a relationship.

Controversial as this may be, but in my opinion, early videos of baby Al flirting openly with Andy, and pressing himself up against Miles, and a bit later on, even AM Alex flirting with that hunky male interviewer, does not point to someone battling too much with their inner homophobia. I think Alex – as ever – has two personalities. The Alex known to the inner circle is out and has been for many years. But Mr Schwartz - the public facing Alex, struggles with his sexuality and the effect it will have on his career and that of his three ‘brothers’.

But read between the lines of their lyrics from the AM/Don’t Forget Who You Are era. AM is filled with longing, of someone who doesn’t know where they stand with this secret - keeping lover who treats them differently at night than during the day. DFWYA is still full of ‘she’ and ‘her’ songs, although ironically the lyrics to Out of Control are so Milex coded it’s funny. I will always maintain Give Up is about Alex (I think ‘stand so tall’ is a figure of speech rather than literally lol) lyrics like ‘you’re pretty good looking but I’m looking for a way out’ and ‘stop tainting my soul’ scream Alex. Don’t forget both albums will have been written around the same time, so I am guessing that they were going through the conflict of Miles not knowing what to do, and him somehow blaming Alex for his confusion, but at the same time unable to keep away from him.

So we reach 2015 and the recording of EYCTE. Something happens. Once on stage and once in an interview, Alex talks about them falling in love whist recording the album. Traditionalists will choose to think he means with their ‘girlfriends’ at the time, but once on tour it is obvious there has been a change in the dynamics. Alex is coquettish and sexy, but his stage personas have all been a variation on this since Humbug, but Miles is different. Miles can’t keep his hands off Alex, Miles follows Alex around the stage like a lovesick puppy. In interviews gone are the playful lusty looks of TAOTU era, instead Miles gazes at Alex like he’s the most beautiful and wondrous thing he’s ever seen.

I think Miles had finally seen the light and realised he was in love with his best mate/casual fuck buddy. He could no longer go on treating Alex like some dirty little secret, and he could no longer deny his sexuality.

What happened afterwards? Who knows, I guess they’re the only ones who know the full truth. But they both came out of EYCTE depressed (the two interviews recently posted on here show this), but Miles admitted to having a mental breakdown, and all I can do is speculate why I think this happened. Imagine being a young man fighting inner demons about your sexuality, you finally realise you’re in love with your best friend and promises are made (see Someone to Rely On and Wrong Side of Life) and he leaves you to go off to France to record an album and keep up his ‘relationship’ with his girlfriend. You have laid yourself on the line and taken a huge step for him and he's gone.

In Alex’s defence, he probably had years of Miles letting him down and also the responsibility of AM etc, but this isn’t about Alex.

But time is a great healer and I think Miles came out of the whole period a different person. By Change the Show, we lose the ‘she’ pronouns (just one ‘girl’, and Suzie and Caroline) and sexy girls in videos. Gone are the models and page three girls. There is a brief ‘romance’ with Nadya Duke, but that is it.

So we come to One Man Band. Apart from one ridiculous tongue in cheek podcast with his friend James Buckley, where he goes on about women (incidentally just before the Ireland gigs with AM), Miles has changed. In early interviews, his childhood heroes are Lennon and Oasis…no mention of Baggio. With One Man Band we suddenly get Baggio and in interviews he talks of how eight year old Miles thought Baggio and the Italian football team were sexy. Old Miles would have followed that up with something like ‘the sort of sexy that pulled birds’, but there was nothing like that, instead he was admitting that part of his sexual awakening was admiring Italian men.

The video for The Wonder had a sexy woman, his friend Didem, but somehow the dynamic felt different, the general vibe was more two mates mucking about.

His stage persona is more ‘fruity’, he is using ‘she’ pronouns but to address himself, and whilst he isn’t ‘out’ - he may never come out publicly, it is entirely his choice - there is definitely a change in Miles, he seems more settled and happy in his own skin. He said he had therapy during the bad period and hopefully that helped. Interestingly he has posted songs about difficult relationships with fathers, and without casting aspersions on Miles’ dad, I wonder if part of his earlier issues were about him trying to please him. Liverpool has quite a macho culture – especially 20-30 years ago. Let’s not forget Miles liked and commented on that beautiful poem about men who know they are gay even when they are children. Maybe it resonated….

Miles story is a fascinating one, a look at a young man fighting his inner demons to get to a point where he knows his true self. I always think Troubled Son is the counter to Body Paint. But Troubled Son is about Miles coming to terms with who he is and accepting his own faults, Body Paint is Alex keeping on his costume, which he doesn’t look like taking off any time soon. Hopefully private Alex is as happy as Miles, and it’s just that public face that looks as though their world is ending.

[wellofdean]

Sorry ,for me personally, it has to be out loud acknowledge to even remotely make up for how badly they treated fans over the years, the out loud queerbaiting in one breath and mocking in the next. The in text gay jokes, sexism and homophobia. The digs at their own fans.

They want the credit without having to do it. Again. They want the pat on the back they need to earn it this time.

Years of baiting for views and profit needs a payoff imo. Sorry people downplaying how important the canonization of this ship in particular is just hurts to see over and over. Stop letting them off the hook please. You deserve more. We all do.

It’s important. It does matter.

The cas/destiel hope baiting continued with the Winchesters and that’s why I’m at a put up or shut up moment with Jensen and the writers. He and Danneel kept the hype up every week that the show was airing all the while knowing cas doesn’t even get a name drop. He’s not even hinted at. Mary/john paralleled destiel so many times yet refused to call it want it was.

They could have shut it down week one, they interacted on tweeter a lot during airing and knew what fans thought there was going to be an acknowledgment or hint that never happened. They are smart people, they saw the speculation and hype but didn’t step in with a gentle ‘sorry guys this is about the new crew’ they fanned the hope instead with ‘something big happens’ that was just dean meeting the new team.

Loved the Winchesters as a show, sad it got dropped cause I loved the new cast so much. That said the baiting hurt and wasn’t necessary, the show was good.

Everyone is looking back with rose colored glasses and rewriting history. But things were ugly with the spn team/cast/writers at times. The homophobia was pretty out loud in a way it was allowed to be in the early 00s. They’ve grown and that’s wonderful but it still happened.

They need to earn the praise they want imo. No hate! Glad you are happy! just feels a little unfair to say we should all let them off the hook again and be happy with nothing while praising the benevolent straights. Just my two cents 😅💚💙

I want to answer this sympathetically, because I know it's disappointing that no one has been willing to just say "Dean and Cas are gay for each other" out loud, and I don't think there are many people in this fandom who picked up what the narrative was putting down, and were not disappointed in the finale for LOADS of reasons, only one of them being that Dean never had the chance to acknowledge what Cas said to him. I understand your feelings, my anonymous friend, I really do. I too found the end of Supernatural deeply frustrating, because they managed to erase the meaningful journeys of every single character, not just Dean, though what they did with Dean was the worst. I completely understand wanting them to JUST FUCKING SAY IT. I do. I get you. I simply do not agree.

My argument, which I have made many, many times, is that what you want is THERE in the narrative. They made Cas Dean's ride or die, they made it obvious that Dean can't carry on without Cas -- that the loss of Cas means Dean loses his will to live. That was explicit. They made it clear that more than anyone else, EVEN Sam, Cas is essential to him. They structured the narrative around Dean and Cas's emotional beats. They let Cas say the obvious thing out loud, and then showed us Dean behaving exactly as Dean would in a situation like that -- in the midst of his existential crisis about who he is and whether he has ever had free will, and with the world falling around them -- they showed us Dean unable to speak, unable to respond but overwhelmed with emotion. Like, remember that when Mary died when Dean was four, he was unable to speak? Is it really so hard to imagine that he loves Cas with all his heart? To read love in Dean's watery eyes, and the way he chokes down his heart and begs Cas not to do this? Not to being saying goodbye? I mean... I CAN DO THAT MATH. Literally everything about the story supports it. IT IS THERE.

Fandom always argues: if Cas were a woman, we wouldn't have any questions, so what I am just wondering is, why do we have questions again? Is it because we (homophobically) can't just see it for what it is because it's gay? Because, when it's gay we lose our ability to interpret narrative, and we need to be told, like we are 5 years old, what's happening in a perfectly obvious story? Or, is it a skill issue? Is it because we need the creators of the story to affirm our interpretation? We need the actors to just TELL US what they meant when they did that thing with their faces? Do we need their permission to understand it for what it is?

I've said many times that calling what happened on Supernatural 'queerbaiting' because no one ever made out or fucked on the maps table is really offensive to me actually. Don't you know that there are queer people in this world who never get to live their truths? Who just ache and yearn and want, and never get to have? Like, that there are in fact queer people who are afraid to say what they feel, or who don't understand or embrace who they really are and what they really need until it's too late? Are those not QUEER EXPERIENCES? I love Dean and I love that story because it's queer as hell and it makes ME feel seen, because I am like him! I am a queer person of his age who didn't ask myself those questions seriously enough in time! My own queerness is very fucking real, and it is UNLIVED. That HAPPENS to actual queer humans, and like, it's not queerbaiting when it's just queer, but didn't tell you the queer story YOU wanted it to tell. You saw years of tease? I saw years of choices, and love, and accretion of deep wells of emotion. I saw a clear romance, and a character becoming. It was a story I needed, AS A QUEER PERSON.

And the Winchesters was just joyful if you went in with that understanding of the previous story. It was like getting an A+ in Supernatural week after week from Dean himself. I can accept that the stars didn't align for Cas/Misha to come back in the first season, accept that if he were coming back, it needed to be more than a cameo to make it right, and that it didn't work out. I am so sad it was cancelled, but I can accept that it was leading someplace it didn't get to go. That's not queerbaiting, either! It's telling a story that was aborted, and I think if you don't see that, then that is DEFINITELY a skill issue.

I'm not looking back with rose coloured glasses; Supernatural is fresh in my mind. I watched it again without the internal pressure of expectations that aren't going to be met, and let it tell me what it was really doing all along. I am happy. It's a really compelling, deeply romantic, deeply queer story. I don't need permission from anyone involved to think that, and I don't need it explained to me. I understand wanting it to just be fully explicit, but I would not trade the story it did tell for a simpler, less engaging one, that asked less of me. I love it very much AS IT IS.

And, please: point me to this fabled abuse of fans. I have never really seen an example of it that is not easily debunked with a little bit of context.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 15

The beautiful mess that would’ve been The Beatles plus Yoko Ono plus Billy Preston plus Bob Dylan plus whoever else. Although I guess that is sort of what George went on to do. He really did just want a group of friends that cared more about each other than the product, and that’s what he created for himself. 

John: And the dream I had was you. The camera: zooms in on Paul’s wounded puppy eyes. John: *staring at Paul* d’you get my meaning? Imagine doing that to literally any other human being. I would not be that intimate with my best friend, my husband, my sister . . . anyone. Let alone my ex, (not literally, you all get what I mean) in front of my current SO and multiple cameras. This kind of thing really makes me wonder what kind of insane shit he must’ve said/done when they were alone, especially in happier times. 

George painted his own psychedelic guitar, and it looks gorg. Who painted Paul’s. Anyone know?

How can I Not assume “Stand By Me” is *meaningful* if, firstly, this is the second time you’ve sung it at each other during this project, and secondly, if you look at each other like This while singing it? Then again, when are they not uncomfortably intense when singing together?

“Oh, help me, Daddy. I don’t even know how this thing works.”  He says about the instrument he plays in the most successful band of all time. Paul can play whatever he needs to to get what he wants out of someone, and that includes dumb.

John’s little “Ookaay.” At Paul’s weird carrying-on about his insecurities with his bass playing. It just screams, “You’re delusional and I’m not getting into this right now.” Which is 1000% valid. Imagine being Paul McCartney and second-guessing your bass skills. Reminds me of that quote where John’s like, “He’s an egomaniac about everything else, but he’s coy about his bass playing. Which is stupid because he’s one of the most innovative bass players . . .”

John and Paul nail the harmony on “HoooooohOoOoOme.” And the LOOKs, you guys.

But also the nonverbal vocal communication! It’s one of my favorite parts about them, really. One of the things that reminds me of how special their relationship is. John makes a face. Paul goes, “brroop”. John replies with a beaming, “Yeah!” To which Paul adds another “brrrrip” as they simultaneously continue the song. It’s just unreal. Nobody does that. They are magical and they were right to think they had special telecommunicative powers. 

The lunch orders today are everything you need to know about the Beatles. John: Sparrow on toast. Paul: Boiled testicle. George: Uh, Mal? So, we’ll have whatever the vegetables are, and if they’ve got any cheese sauce for the cauliflower. Ringo: Mashed potato. That’s it. That’s them.

“Then there’s another one,” says Paul, doing a shit job of pretending he hasn’t rehearsed this to sound like some accidental discovery. “Don’t let me down. Oh, darling,” sung suddenly, and forcefully, directly at John, “I’ll never let you down.”

John, beaming like the star quarterback just told him he looked pretty, tucks his hair behind his ears and says, barely hovering in the safety of a joking tone, “Yeah, it’s like you and me are lovers.”

John has of course taken Paul’s game of gay chicken an arm’s reach farther than Paul’s comfortable with, at least in front of cameras, so he can only nod, and brush his own hair back. Stiff, expressionless. "Yeah."

(Of course, Peter Jackson cuts out what eventually evolves into John and Paul singing “we’re a couple of queers” and talking about wearing skirts for the performance) 

Am I the only one getting the vibe that John genuinely dislikes Teddy Boy? Not because he thinks it sucks or anything but because he doesn’t like the obvious similarities to his relationship with Julia? Personally, I love it. It was my anxiety song a few years back.

The original lyric to “fancy me chances” was Not “frock” I absolutely guarantee. 

Love Paul checking on Billy. Love that they're all, even with everything they've got going, making sure he's set up and taken care of.

Sorry not sorry that I’m so thirsty over literally every woman in this show, but. Hello, Pattie! She just walks in, ignores everyone else, kisses him Like That, whispers something, and gets out to go live her own life. Queen. Gorgeous. Obsessed.

George Martin praising his children for "working so well together." I love that he refused to produce them after the white album, not because they were being disrespectful to him or anything, but because they weren't getting along. And that, although he's not producing, technically, he can't stop himself coming in to make sure they're okay. He's such a good dad, literally.

John over here being emo af by himself, playing “I Feel Fine,” because he definitely does Not feel fine and he’s just as nostalgic as Paul, which is way too fucking nostalgic. Poor baby. 

[maxiskindahere]

Did you know? | Emily x F!Reader

this is one of my first few fic back to tumblr so i sincerely apologise if it is ass xx

-

Prompt: Emily introduces Y/N to Charlie & Vaggie during the twos visit to the heaven, Y/N attends the trail, blah blah emily is displeased

-

“Y/N!” The girl jumps as she hears the voice from behind her “Holy-“ She yelps out, before realising it’s Emily and letting out a soft sigh and she turns to face the girl, taking note of Sera & the two others following after her

“Sera, Emily” The girl bows, a sly smile on her face as Sera waves her off “No need to put on a show, this is Charlotte, Lucifers daughter.. and her plus one.” Sera states, introducing the girl to the two “Oh- wow” Y/N replies, her eyes wide

“Does uh.. Adam know?” She hesitantly asks, glancing between Sera and Emily. Y/N was unlucky enough to be close with Adam and Lute, she knew all about the exterminations and all about how Emily was not allowed to know.

“Adam is aware, but on that note.. I have something to speak to him about. Take care of Emily for me” Sera says softly, before disappearing with a glow leaving the three alone

“It’s actually Charlie” Lucifers daughter says shortly after Sera left, Y/N waves her off “Y/N, if you haven’t gathered” She says with a laugh as Emily takes her hand into hers “Is this your guard or..?” She trails off, looking the other demon up and down

“Vaggie? No, but she does help protect the hotel from danger” Charlie corrects the girl, wrapping an arm around Vaggies waist “Interesting, kinda like what I do then” The h/c girl hums, grinning at Emily

“Vaggie is Charlie’s girlfriend” Emily adds on, her eyes shining brightly. Y/N gapes at the girl “I knew it. All the cool gay girls went to hell…” She exclaims dramatically, wincing as Emily slaps her lightly

“You are literally my girlfriend.” Emily points out, resulting in the demon duo in front of them to let out a short gasp “And Sera is cool with that?” Vaggie asks suspiciously, looking the two up and down

“No, she’s super homophobic.” Y/N deadpans before laughing “Nah she’s chill with it, everyone is!” She says happily, wrapping a wing around Emily “Why? Is there people not cool with you guys down there?” She questions, a pang of hurt soaring through her as she thinks of how it must hurt to not be accepted

“No! No! everyone’s cool with it, there’s a lot of us down there..” Charlie explains awkwardly, keeping a smile on her face “Yeah I suppose that’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Y/N asks, smiling at the princess

“Yeah! I have this hotel to rehabilitate sinners to help prevent e-“ Y/N quickly cuts off the girl, “Emily! Uh, would you be able to go grab us some ice cream? There’s this.. surprise! I have planned and I want to get some other input from it” Y/N swiftly lies, despite how bad she felt she knew Emily is better off not knowing.

The Seraphim smiles brightly at her “Of course! I’ll get your favourite, I’ll get surprises for those two!” She says excitedly, and as soon as she’s out of earshot Y/N turns to the two demons “Look, can you keep extermination talk to the absolute minimum, in fact say nothing about it at all.” She hisses out in a whisper, flinching at the disappointed look on Charlie’s face

“I’m not okay with it, I think it’s wrong but that’s Sera’s job to deal with. Not Emily’s, I won’t have you trying to manipulate her with a sob story to keep her on your side.” Y/N states with a tone of finality in her voice before straightening herself with a smile

“I do hope Sera listens to you, despite whom I will be with during the trial.” She explains softly, trying to make it obvious how against the exterminations she is “Wait, don’t tell me..” Charlie groans out “Let me guess, Adam?”

Before she can answer, another voice does for her “Sup little Lute” Y/N rolls her eyes as she turns to face Adam & Lute, who was glaring daggers at Vaggie “Hello Adam” she replies, keeping an eye out for Emily “Just wondering why you’re with these bummers, when you could be with us” He says cockily, jerking his finger at the two hellborns

“If you must know, Emily brought them around. Speaking of, watch what you say in front of her.” Y/N hisses out, glaring at Adam who raises his hands in faux defense “No need to be so hostile, babes!” Lute sighs stepping forward “Ignore him, you are aware you will be with us during this court session rather than Emily, correct?”

Y/N sighs, nodding her head “Yes ma’am, i’m well aware how much you hate my happiness” She says rolling her eyes as Lute glares at her, no true heat behind them “Just making sure, don’t spend too much time with these filth” She hisses out before she and Adam take their overly dramatic leave

Before much more can be said, Emily arrives back with their ice creams and handing them out “What did they want?” She asks Y/N who pauses before answering “Lute just wanted to give me pointers on training, nothing for you to worry about my dove” She swiftly lies, placing a kiss to Emily’s free hand

“So we’re just lying now.” Vaggie mutters under her breath, anger clear in her voice “Anyways! I never got to tell you about my hotel!” Charlie quickly butts in, her voice frantic as she waves her hands around

“Oh yeah, tell me about it”

-

Y/N watches as Emily paces nervously in their shared room, she was nervous. Anyone could tell. “You want to talk about what’s wrong?” Y/N offers, patting the seat beside her as Emily swiftly moves to sit beside her lover

“I just can’t help but think that this trial is so much more than just about the hotel.” She mutters, fiddling with her fingers “Sera’s been hiding things from me recently, I don’t like it.” She adds on, looking at Y/N with doelike eyes

“I’m sure whatever she isn’t telling you.. isn’t important” Y/N says awkwardly, brushing the hair out of Emily’s face “It’ll be okay. I won’t be with you, but I’ll be within arms reach so if you need anything.. I’m sure they’ll understand if you fly down to me” the girl says reassuringly to the older girl who smiles at her

“You’re the best, you know that right?”

—

The trial went horribly. Adam had just revealed the exterminations to not only Emily but the entire council, in a surprisingly short musical number.

Which leads Y/N to now, sat alone in her shared room with Emily as the girl discusses the exterminations with Sera. She wasn’t sure if Emily knew about her knowing, but considering how close she is with Adam and Lute, it wouldn’t be hard to piece together.

“Did you know?” Emily’s voice appears out of nowhere, it looked as if she had been crying, and Y/N didn’t have the heart to keep lying to her.

“I did” She says quietly, wrapping her wings around her body “I’ve known for a while” She confesses, looking down to avoid looking Emily in the eyes “You knew they were killing innocent human souls, and you didn’t tell me?” The heart break on Emily’s voice was undeniable. She was rightfully upset with Y/N.

“Seraphim’s mate for life, the first thing I told you about me is that I value honesty. Yet for however long, you’ve been lying to me.” Emily states, the heartbreak being replaced by anger “I wasn’t allowed to, I didn’t want to be the reason you fell.” Y/N admits, tears welling in her eyes as she finally looks up to look at Emily

“You were so happy when you found out that you could show sinners around, how could I tell you that the only reason they came is because my friends were murdering their people?” Y/N chokes out, tightening her wings around her as Emily stands tall

“By being honest, by not allowing them to hurt those souls!” Emily exclaims, throwing her arms out in anger “It’s my job to protect you, Emily! Sera said keeping this from you was exactly that.” Y/N tearfully exclaims, standing up from the bed

“You would have been devastated if I were to tell you as soon as I found out, you would have fallen like Lucifer.” Y/N continues to rant as tears flow down her face “And it would have been my fault! Not Adam’s, not Lutes, mine!” The girl finishes defeatedly, wiping her tears away

“I should have told you, and I’m sorry I didn’t but I’m not sorry for doing what I thought was best for you.” Y/N concludes, breathing heavily as Emily lets out a sigh “You don’t need to protect me from everything, Y/N” She says softly, stepping closer to her partner before taking her hand in hers

“I’m sorry” Is all Y/N says before she’s pulled into a tight hug from Emily “You are such an idiot, but I understand.” The girl mutters as Y/N wraps her arms around the taller girl, desperate to just feel her.

“I don’t deserve you” She mumbles into the seraphim’s neck, tightening her arms around Emily who shakes her head softly

“No, you deserve the world.”