#like I would do the biggest happy dance and get on a plane and come find you to give you a huge kiss

[rosicheeks]

😞

[buckyalpine]

always you’s angst only ending … feed us a tiny lil drabble of maybe bucky not stopping until he and bruce and maybe even shuri (cause bby’s the smartest) find a way to bring her back?

like he enters the portal, scoops up her body, and kisses her back to life. then throws her over his shoulder, locks her in his bedroom, and makes love to her for like a week straight.

“she’s barely been back for a month- AND SHE’S ALREADY PREGNANT?!”

- ur local angst slut who’s actually hella sensitive and cannot handle this shit, gossip girl 💋

Always you angst alternative ending 

18+

Okay YES, if your a pure angst fiend, you may ignore this but I'm here to mend hearts from the sadness that was this fic.

Warnings: Angst, FLUFFFFFFF, Smuuuttttt, happy ending 

5 years later

Bucky refused to accept you being gone. He tried to heal, going to therapy, grief counselling, medication, writing letters, everything under the fucking sun to help him come to terms with the fact that he’d never see you again. 

It was impossible.

It ate him alive.

He was physically stronger, pouring all his time into the gym to find a way to numb the pain but he was more mentally fucked than ever.

It had been 5 years, nearly 6 and the raw pain he felt was still fresh. Every night, he'd wake up searching for you. He couldn't let go, holding onto the pieces you had left behind. He wrote to you as often as he could, keeping a locked diary of things he wanted to tell you, letters he knew no one would see but what else could he do when he wanted to talk to you so badly but you weren’t there. 

That didn’t stop him from finding a way to pour his heart and soul somewhere. 

_________________________________

Happy Birthday babygirl,  I wish I could wake you up with kisses today, tell you how special the world is with you in it, make you pancakes, feed you in bed because I know you’ll cuddle up in the sheets until noon. Buy you a pretty dress, take you out, maybe even go dancing, even if its just me and you and Steve’s playlist of songs from the 40′s. I’d hold you close to me all night until your feet were sore or until Tony told us to turn the cheesy music off. 

I know he secretly ships us (Peter taught me that word) 

If it were up to Stark, he’d throw you the biggest birthday party ever; that wouldn’t stop me from trying to sneak you away for some more birthday kisses. birthday cuddles. Birthday sex...is a new song Sam introduced me to. 

I wanted to do so much with you today sweet girl. Show you how much I love you on your special day. I should have shown you before it was too late. I regret it every single day. I’d give anything for just another day, just so you’d know. 

It was always you. 

Steve brought you some flowers today, Sam brought some balloons. I hope you see them from wherever you are. It’s not the same without you here angel.

We miss you baby. 

I miss you. 

Till we meet again,  JBB 

_________________________________

Hi Baby, I know it’s not a special occasion, I have no real reason to write today. I missed you though. I wanted to tell you about how I jumped out of a plane today and all I could think of is how much you would have laughed because I didn’t use a parachute. You’re laugh is the sweetest sound in the world and I’d give anything to hear it just one more time.

Sam recorded it all, you would have been the first person he showed the footage to. I’d probably ignore you both and then you’d probably tease me about being grumpy and I’d want a kiss to feel better. And a hug. Maybe some cuddles. Please? 

Also you’d be proud of me today, Red Wing broke and it wasn’t my fault. Promise. I even apologized to Sam after but he doesn’t think I’m being sincere. And I’m not because red wing is a little shit. So is Sam. 

I miss you sweets. I wish you were here. It hurts. Everything hurts. 

I hope we meet again. I’ll never let you go. 

Yours, JBB

_________________________________

My y/n,

I’m sorry. I should have told you. I regret it everyday. I’ll never stop trying to find a way to get you back. 

I love you,

JBB

_________________________________

It’s been almost 6 years. It still hurts.

Till we meet again, JBB

_________________________________

I can’t anymore. I need you back. 

JBB

_________________________________

There were some days where Bucky was able to focus, writing as much as he could, spilling all of his feelings onto the paper, a tiny part of him hoping that one day he’d be able to give you all his letters so you’d know you were all he could think of. 

Then there were the days where sobs tore through his body, his breathing labored, only managing to scribble three words before crumbling into a dark abyss. Bucky wracked his brain every single day; if you were able to go back once, there had to be a way to get you back again. Bruce and Tony had spent countless hours in the lab trying to find a way to reopen the portal but nothing led to you. 

*****

Bucky stared at his burner, pressing call and ending it before it could go through multiple times before finally letting it ring. There was only one other person he could turn to. He knew he wasn’t going to be immediately welcomed back into Wakanda but this wasn’t just about him. Everyone wanted you back. Nothing was the same without you there. If there was a 1% chance to get you back, he had to try. His chest felt tight as the jet landed in a secluded area having arranged a private meeting with Shuri, the one person he trusted with his life. 

"I-I have a favor to ask" Bucky's eyes were already pleading with her, his heart racing as he approached her, ready to fall on his knees. 

"Anything Sergeant Barnes" Shuri smiled, sensing he was there for something urgent, nodding for him to continue. There was zero hesitation as she immediately agreed to come back with him to try and get you back, bringing her own lab equipment with her so she could work with Bruce. After filtering through a number of timelines and timestamps, she’d managed to pinpoint the portal to find you but it wasn’t without its consequences. 

“You understand you may not return” Shuri whispered as Bucky threw on his tactical gear, insisting on getting you all on his own while rest of the team watched in pin drop silence, reluctantly letting him go alone “And y/n...we can get her back but there's a chance she may not...” 

She squeezed his hand before he stepped onto the platform, not wanting to finish the sentence but he already understood. He knew it was possible he’d find you again but it didn’t mean he’d find you alive. 

“Then at least I get to say goodbye” He gave her a strained smile; he had to bring you home one way or another. If this was how he had to go, he would run happily to his death; he’d be at peace knowing he died trying to find you. With the push of a button, he was instantly thrown into a warp, transported to where you had last been with Nat. Everything came to a halt as he found himself at an abandoned hydra base, the cold nipping his skin. Bucky blinked, his vision focusing on the fuzzy figure laying on the ground, his feet moving before he could process anything. 

There was no one else around. 

It was you. 

His doll. 

His y/n.

He sprinted to you, tears clouding his vision as he approached you, dropping to his knees, both fear and hope fighting for dominance. He found you. You were there. But would he ever actually get you back? Were you even breathing? 

“Y/n?” Bucky cradled you to him, scooping you in his arms and chasing the portal that had already began to close. He held your face to his neck, his metal hand protecting your head, holding you securely against his body as you both fleshed back to the present. 

The team gasped as he appeared on the platform again with you safely tucked in his arms. They didn’t dare move, everyone holding their breaths while Bucky laid you down with you still in his arms, his hand softly stroking your cheek. 

“Y/n? Doll?” His heart was beating erratically, your skin was warm, a glimmer of hope burning stronger as he gently shook you, pressing his cool metal hand against your face. “Please” 

“C’mon doll, come back to me baby, I have so much I need to tell you” He pleaded, his warm breath fanning against your face, tears brimming his eyes. Tony and Steve itched to whisk you off to the medbay while Sam silently shook his head, wanting to give Bucky an extra minute, hoping you’d be able to wake up in the super soldiers arms where you belonged. 

“Baby, wake up sweets” Bucky couldn't help himself, pressing his lips softly to your forehead, trailing feather light kisses down your face while cuddling you. “C’mon I l-love you” His voice cracked, his lips finally pressing against yours. They were still soft, warm, you had to wake up, you had to-

Your lips stirred, your eyes cracking open, taking your first breath as your eyes focused on Bucky. 

“Sweetheart?” Bucky's eyes grew wide, unsure if he was dreaming or not, scrambling to hug you closer, cupping your face gently.  

“Bucky?” Your voice was a raspy whisper, leaning into his touch, feeling his tears fall onto your skin as he pulled you into his chest. 

“My doll” He let out a soft sob, cradling your head as you buried your face into his neck, moved to cling onto him, the last thing you remembered was darkness and now you were in his arms again surrounded by his warmth, his scent. Everyone stayed rooted in place, tears falling freely, dying to grab you, hug you, hold you again but they were not about to separate the two of you, not after how badly Bucky had yearned to get you back. 

“Bucky” You wept, your mind still piecing together how you were back but it didn’t matter, not when he was holding you again. 

“Hi baby” He whispered against your hair, wiping your tears with his thumb, cupping your face, kissing you all over before capturing your lips again, relishing in your touch, feeling your fingers card through his short locks. You lost yourselves in each other, the rest of the world no longer existing. 

“Okay white wolf, When do we get to say hi to our girl” Sam snorted, sniffling seeing you tucked in Bucky��s arms, the brunettes lips curved into a smile for the first time since you’d been gone. Bucky loosened his hold around you, helping you to your feet, giving you one more kiss before letting go. 

“Come here” Steve scooped you up immediately after, struggling not to squeeze you tight, “We missed you sweet heart, so much”

“Hasn’t been the same without you” Sam gave you a once over, determining you were well enough for a slightly bone crushing hug before having you grabbed away by Tony. Tony wasn’t able to say much, biting his bottom lip to keep it from trembling, hugging you the longest, reluctant to let you go. You were engulfed in Nat’s arms as she wept, squeezing you like her life depended on it. 

“You saved me” She whispered in your hair, her tears falling onto your skin, “Don’t ever do that again” She hissed sternly, grabbing your face to look at her, “Don’t ever ever do something like that again” 

“Give me my baby back” Bucky grabbed you, tossing you over his shoulder as soon as everyone had gotten their hugs and kisses, not interested in giving anyone a second longer when he needed you so badly. You squealed, giggling as he carried you straight down the hall towards his room without glancing back. As soon as he locked the door, his hands were all over you, holding you tightly to him. 

“Your baby?” You shyly whispered as he rested his forehead against yours, nodding and chasing your lips. 

“M’never letting you go again doll, never” He trailed kisses down your neck while unbuckling the straps of your gear letting it drop to the floor. “I want to love you, I want to hold you, I want to make love to you, I want it all with you” 

Bucky tore your clothes off, hoisting you up to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you over to the bathroom, turning the hot water on, hot water pouring over both if you. The steam made you woozy, your body turning into jelly under his touch as he massaged your muscles with delicate touches, his lips ghosting over every bruise and scar that had marked your skin. You let out a needy whimper, staying close to him, your butterflies erupting in your tummy every time he touched you. 

“Bucky please”

“I want to love you so badly baby, love you the way you deserve” Bucky willed himself not to take you right there, focused on rinsing off and grabbing a towel, carrying you over to his bed. He tossed to towel off, climbing on top of you, neither of you having the patience for a slow build or teasing. Your belly clenched feeling his hard length rut and rub against your bare cunt, your slick coating his cock. 

“I need you” He rasped while you whined, wrapping your legs around him, bucking your hips up. “You have no idea baby, God I need you” His eyes were pleading with you, his cock starting to leak feeling your arousal. 

“Wanna feel you Bucky” You spread your legs for him, your breath hitching feeling the tip of his cock rub through your folds before pressing into your entrance. 

“Gonna make love to you so good sweet girl” Bucky whispered as he started to push his cock in, his heart beating faster, cock growing harder feeling your heat pull him in deeper. He groaned, letting his body weight fall onto you as he started to thrust, pleasure consuming both of you immediately. 

“JAmessss” Your gasp melted into a moan, your head pressed against his pillow as he filled you, stretching you open, letting you feel every ridge and vein of his cock. “Stretching me to so good Buckyyy” 

“Yeah? You feel so good wrapped around me baby” He rasped, his orgasm already creeping down his spine as he pressed sloppy kisses all over your face, overwhelmed with emotion and the feeling of you under him. Your moans made him twitch, nearly growling when he felt your nails dig into his skin as he kissed your cervix with each roll of his hips. 

“I missed you so much baby, didn’t know what to do with myself, I-I couldn’t breathe without you, couldn’t live-” Bucky could feel tears brimming his eyes, struggling to keep them away, “Fuck I missed you so much, I felt like I was drowning every single day” 

You sniffled over his words, your heart connected with his, squeezing your thighs around his waist, desperate to keep every inch of his body pressed with yours. 

“It-it was always you” He kissed your forehead, as he kept you caged under him, moaning against your skin.

“I love you” you cupped his cheeks, brushing his tears away, his nose lightly bumping against yours. You pulled him down for a sweet kiss, only pulling away for air. All of it was so much all at once, the quietest cries and softest kisses, feeling every inch of each other, making up for lost time. Bucky pulled the covers over you both, wrapping you in a cocoon of warmth, hiding you from the rest of the world, savoring this moment with just the two of you, his sweet girl back in his arms again. 

He let his arms roam across your body, stroking your waist, your thighs, gently cupping your breasts, softly suckling your nipples, his body trembling as he tried to hold his climax off and make this moment last forever. 

“M’gonna marry you, you know that?” His hands came to lace with yours, pinning you against the bed, eyes locked with yours. His pace didn’t falter, thrusting into you, loving the way your pussy fluttered around his cock, rolling his hips so he could push into you deeper. “W-will you? Will you marry me babygirl” 

He knew you had just come back but he wanted nothing more, unable to stop the words from slipping out. You let your own tears fall down your cheeks, pulling him impossibly closer. 

“Yes” You whimpered, sniffling back sobs as he stroked your head, smiling against your lips. 

“Gonna make you my wife baby, marry you and take care of you until my last breath” He started to fuck you faster, panting, the muscles in his body tensing. 

“Tell me more Bucky, please?” You whined, your heart aching for more, everything you’d always wanted with the one person you’d always been in love with. 

“Oh baby, M’gonna get you pregnant sweet girl, have a family with you, everything with you, take care of your swollen belly, make love to you even when you’re full of me, show you how much I adore you princess” You gasped as he braced himself, his grunts growing louder, his body heat radiating off him, unable to stop the pleasure that was growing. 

“Tell me your mine baby” He whined, wrapping his arms around you while you threw your head back, your eyes rolling back at the feel of his pubic bone rubbing your sensitive bundle of nerves with each thrust. 

“I’m yours Bucky” 

“Fuck don’t stop y/n, please, I need it” His voice was needy, desperately clinging onto your body, craving to hear nothing else. “Say it again doll”

“I’m yours Bucky, all yours soldier” You moaned louder, your legs shaking around him “I’m gonna cum” 

“Cum with me baby, same time, please” 

“BuckyBuckyBucky- You cried our, your walls staring to flutter, ready to fall off the edge with hi. 

“M’right here, I got you, togther, c’mon, cum with me princess” Bucky rolled his hips, pounding you into the mattress, biting down onto your neck as he felt your nails scratch down his back while white hot pleasure tore through you, your pussy milking his cock. 

“FUCK JAMES” Your body trembled as he fucked you through your high, burying his face into your neck, his lips brushing by your ear. 

“YES, Yes baby, my good girl, my sweet girl, s’perfect for me, yes, I’m gonna give you my cum, get you pregnant, have a baby with you, take care of you, love you, all of it with you baby, fuck- I LOVE YOU- UGGHHH- 

Bucky collapse on you, filling you with his cum until the bed was damp, his body jolting from sensitivity each time you fluttered around him while kissing his temple. He hardly moved, a steady stream of cum still pouring into you, staying connected to you the entire night, cuddling you next to him. 

“I finally have my baby back, my sweet sweet baby, she’s back” 

It has been nearly a week since you were back but you hadn’t left Bucky’s room once. You only took a few moments to eat and sleep, the rest of the time wrapped up in each other, connected in the most intimate way possible, while whispering sweet nothings, 

It was everything Bucky needed. Emotional. Warm. Soft. Loving. 

He couldn’t help the tears every time he was inside you, he finally had you back, wrapping his arms around you every time you made love, making sure you knew exactly how much he had always adored you. As much as he wanted to take you apart in every way imaginable, he couldn’t help but slip into missionary every single time, wanting to see your pretty face, feel your body, have your legs wrap around him as he came inside you. 

*****

You threw on your coat while Bucky slipped his arm around your waist while you both made your way down, passing through the living room on our way out. 

“Damn future Mrs. Barnes” Sam whistled, along with the rest of the team, everyone gathered for a night for a movie. “Where you off to?” 

“The three of us are going out for dinner” Bucky smiled with a child like grin, snickering to himself while the team looked at you with confusion. 

“Three?” Steve cocked his head, noting the way you shied into Bucky’s chest, giggling while he kissed your head, his hand slipping down to brush over your belly. “THREE?”

Steve’s eyes grew wide as he shot out of his seat, pointing at your tummy. “THREE” He whipped his head to Tony, Nat, Sam and Clint who slowly connected the dots. “THREE” 

“For fucks sake, it hasn’t even been a month Barnes” Tony snorted, while everyone pilled onto you both, a large mess of hugs and tears. 

“You didn’t waste any time, huh” Sam wiggling his eyebrows while Bucky wrapped his arms around you, his hands splayed on your tummy. 

“Never again” He whispered, tilting your chin to kiss you deeply, “Never ever again” 

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[aclowntiny]

Skz as type of dads? 🥹

CRYING YES QUEEN/KING/MONARCH 👑🥹 kept this open for the kids to be biological or adopted or perhaps some of both for all family types 🥰 plus I’m a huge supporter of adoption personally hehe

Today is US Thanksgiving but fuck that ‘holiday’ here’s a post 🤙🏻

Stray Kids as Dads

Bang Chan

♡ Such a caring and protective dad, like his kids will never get hurt on his watch or his name isn’t Christopher Bang

♡ Being an eldest brother, he’s an absolute champ caring for them, like the moment they’re born he’s rolling up his sleeves and helping out, screw gender norms or the idea of the dad not helping. Being present with his children is a joy and honor.

♡ Would probably like the idea of a mid-sized family, probably a family of three like he had! Still manageable but no one’s lonely or received unfairly high expectations. Especially if they end up being closer in age, that’s ok because they’ll get along better instead of being teens enlisted to care for a baby or something of the like.

♡ Such a multi-talented man is a wonderful mentor to any interests the kids have, easily able to foster and participate in nearly any hobby- sports, singing, dance, acting, playing instruments, you name it!

♡ I can so see him loving to run around with the kids on his shoulders, grinning at the way they laugh and coming up with all sorts of vehicles and steeds to be, whether they want a spaceship ride, a horsie, a plane, or a dragon! Absolutely soft for their pleading to indulge their play.

♡ As a boy dad, Chris views it as super important to model what it truly means to be a man- no toxic masculinity here though! He treats you like royalty so his son(s) know how to treat and provide for their partner someday. He teaches them to fight for what they believe in and be brave. Many of the same things are true for girls, too, but he treats them like absolute princess(ess) too to make sure they don't settle for any less from a man! Indulges dress-up and teaching them martial arts alike because they're his princess(es) but also they must be protected and unafraid to fight back! No one gets the better of his babies!

Lee Know

♡ Acts like he’s got everything under control, but on the inside he’s freaking out a little 🤏🏻

♡ Proud dad OMG. Every milestone and first that gets experienced, he is sharing it and telling everyone even if it’s completely normal. Like crawling for the first time? Amazing. Absolutely stellar. That’s his kid, you know.

♡ Leans more toward a smaller family like he had, maybe one or two children…and the cats, of course! He adores the idea of being able to pour all the love and care into his little family and give extra attention to you and the kid(s).

♡ Loves kitchen time with your kid(s), doing anything remotely dangerous like cutting or frying on his own but otherwise giving them near free reign! It's messy, sure, but it's also a life skill and a way they can provide for others in the future, too. Minho's kid(s) will appreciate the effort and quality that can go into meals for sure.

♡ Can be firm when he needs to be, but it's mainly in situations where they show any form of disrespect or intolerance. Beyond being happy and loved, he wants his kids to be beacons of love to everyone they meet, and that starts with teaching them that being a bully is never ok, even if it's to an annoying sibling or cousin.

♡ Boy or girl, he’s making a dancing machine out of that kid(s)! I mean, he won’t force them or anything but absolutely indulges it and becomes their biggest coach if they have any interest in dance or choreography. With a girl he’d be so soft when he twirls her and lets her stand on his feet to slow dance, a smile across his face the whole time. His son would be busting idol moves at a very young age 😎

Changbin

♡ His affection toward you increases tenfold if that's even possible once you two are starting a family! And that carries over into the kids for sure.

♡ Honestly the sappiest and goofiest dad, like he won't go a single day without telling his kids he loves them, often in a cutesy voice. Plays with them and gets down to their level so well and gets so invested in any make believe they do.

♡ The idea of having a big family is cute to him, so numbers like four or five don't scare him! But he can be talked down if you like too- Changbin mostly just wants his kid to grow up with at least one sibling like he did.

♡ Playground days are a must for him- heck, he'll be right there going down the slide with little ones in his arms and spinning on the merry-go-round with eager squeals of his own. Becomes their own personal playground, having them hang off of his arms and spin. You have so many silly pictures of them like that.

♡ Plushie theatre! Changbin will act out the most elaborate scenes with teddy bears and stuffed dogs on leashes and anything else provided to him and he will take it as seriously as if he was reciting Shakespeare. May even play music to set the scene. The kiddos laugh so hard and just eat it up every time.

♡ Has the perfect balance to be a boy and girl dad. Lets his daughters put makeup and bows on him with the biggest sappy grin and asks if he looks pretty, then turns around and plays drill sergeant with the boys. Half-jokingly, half-seriously encourages them to mix play with each other and that’s how you find Changbin in camo with blush and the boys smudging lipstick on each other’s faces while the girls try to shoot their action figures away from their dolls.

Hyunjin

♡ Really invested and emotional about the whole process, especially in the beginning. His heart just fills and overflows whenever he looks and sees the life you two are raising.

♡ The dad who’s been practicing diaper changes on dolls or others’ kids if allowed so he knows he can do it right the first time for real 🥹

♡ In his mind, a small family sounds nice, maybe spaced apart so you can spend some time with each. But when he holds his little one for the first time suddenly he looks up like ‘I want ten’. Hyperbole, don’t worry. But suddenly bigger numbers like four or five or six don’t sound so terrible if you’re game 👀

♡ Unafraid to get messy with the fam in the name of art! Hyunjin's at the table when you come home, colors splattered all over his hands and the kids' as they finger paint. Don't worry, he's covered it all up with paper and made sure at least one of the paintings is a portrait of you 😉

♡ Dresses up the kids in the most stylish outfits, like you're about to have little models on your hands! Also has a soft spot for coordinating outfits with them, whether it's family photo day or just an afternoon out with the little ones.

♡ He values all his children so much, especially the awareness that they’ll bring different beauty to the world and be perceived differently. Because of this, he encourages fortitude in all the kids, boy or girl, to be themselves and stand firmly in their interests whatever they are.

Han

♡ This man is the sweetest dad for real! Adores his kids and is always happy to show them affection 🥰

♡ Also the type of dad who tries really hard (sometimes a little too hard but that’s why you all love him 🤭) to be hip on the trends and name their generation’s memes.

♡ I can see him once he gets into the swing of things as the type to want a bigger family, maybe even more than he thought! Nothing crazy, but in his head he thought he’d feel complete after one or two, now that he has them though? Three or four doesn’t sound bad, just look at how cute they are with a sibling to play with! Kind of reminds him of the feeling of having so many brothers.

♡ You have to stop him sometimes from buying every cute toy he sees. “Do we need another playset?” “But babe, then he can run his own sushi restaurant 🥺” “Shit, that is cute, ok.”

♡ Cries when his kids cry, laughs whenever they do or at any joke they ever tell him, can hardly bring himself to scold them because he just loves them so much and doesn’t want to break their hearts!

♡ Honestly doesn’t mind if he has boys or girls, like both sound great so you’d never catch this dad sulking at a gender reveal! In the end though I can see him having one of each, and it warms your heart to see how he teaches his son(s) to respect their sister(s), value and cheer them on from a very young age. He is all of their biggest cheerleader, though, handing them mics when he’s recording or playing around in the studio, showing up to every event of theirs he physically can, and just going ‘that’s my son/daughter’ with a huge smile all the time.

Felix

♡ The type of father to describe his kids as the twinkles in his eyes! Just constantly looking at them with adoration- they’ll never wonder if they’re loved 🥹

♡ He's always wanted a family, so having little ones of his own is Felix's dream come true for sure. You'll practically have to pry them from his arms, he loves showering them in affection so much!

♡ For some reason, I see him wanting three kids, the classic 'nuclear family' size or in his words the perfect number to fill up his arms! You guys are ever-so-slightly outnumbered, but your life's also full to the brim of cuteness.

♡ A pro at bath time! Felix is the epitome of 'organized chaos' during this time, managing to get all your little ones to love the water and keep it in the tub. He knows all their favorite toys and has a voice for each one.

♡ One Mother’s/Father’s Day you awake slowly, eyes fluttering at a few clattering sounds and shushes. Your eyebrows furrow in concern, but sleep swims too quickly still beneath your eyes to pull you up. Your internal questions are answered in moments as Felix and the kids burst in with a tray of all your favorites for breakfast, all clearly handmade as the notes and drawings scattering it.

♡ Absolutely no difference in his intent with raising boys or girls… but real talk, the sweetest girl dad on the planet OMG. While he is conscious about modeling caring and providing behavior in both, curiosity and discovery regardless… he has at least one girly girl that just steals his heart and has him wrapped around her finger. Will play as whatever princess needed, incredibly active in every single tea party he can make, you name it, he does it.

Seungmin

♡ The do-it-all dad. He learns sooo much about all of their interests when they're older and reads up on everything baby/toddler before then. An absolute champ at juggling care and keeping the house afloat!

♡ All he wants in life is to do right by his family and be a man you can be proud of. No fear with jumping right in to any aspect of raising your family, even if he does crack the occasional joke.

♡ He's a bit open on number, probably leaning between two or three but more wouldn't hurt if you'd like bigger!

♡ Bedtime is one of his favorite times. Just being able to lay down with the kids and read them stories, doing funny voices and raising and lowering for suspense, fills his heart. He'll sing them lullabies until their eyes stay closed and watch for a few moments wondering how he got so lucky to have this with you of all people.

♡ Invents a whole secret language with the kids one day, so you come home and can't understand any of them. Teases the dickens out of you, grinning and bumping your shoulder and egging the kids on to say more until relenting and letting you in on the secret!

♡ He can’t decide if he’s more excited to have a son or a daughter! Practically weeps imagining playing dress up but has also always wanted a mini me??? (See what I did there?) He takes photos of the kids often, which ends up sparking an interest in photography that he’s happy to foster. Heck, maybe through that his daughter will become his mini me and he gets the best of both worlds!

I.N

♡ Playful dad! It’s not uncommon to come home and find him rolling around with the kids in a big ball of laughter!

♡ He hadn’t always thought about having a family, but when he met you and you guys began your journey, he wondered how he would have ever considered anything else.

♡ Because of this, he never had some dream number in his head and he’s happy to give you the floor on that question whether you’d like one or three or six!

♡ S-Class (see what I did there) nurse. They'll practically demand that he's the one to care for wounds and put the bandages on because he's so good at distracting from the sting of cleaning it and kissing where it hurts.

♡ They love his trot voice. Thus he hams it up plenty, bringing out his most exaggerated moves and probably bringing props too. Would not at all be adverse to them becoming his backup singers or dancers.

♡ Loves the idea of at least one mini you and one mini him- his words! Y’all definitely get a mini him though, OMG: your son wants to be JUST LIKE his dad, practically following him around all the time. He takes after his dad’s goofy smile and performances so soon you really do have two trot performances to watch! Jeongin is so honored and floored by this that he’s always saying he has to be the best man possible for his son as well as for you 🥹 he always encourages his son to say the sweetest words to you too- but don’t say it was from him, shh!!!

[ackermancurse]

Prompt List

Tell me the truth or I will walk out that door and I won’t come back.”

“Y-you love me?”

“Maybe we could go on a date or something.”

“I waited for you for hours!”

“You just took my breath away.”

“I wish I could stay here all day.”

“Keep singing please I love your voice.”

“I bought you a bottle of my cologne/perfume so whenever you miss me you can just spray it on something and it’ll be like I’m there.”

“I like your name but my last name would sound so much better with it.”

“So you’re telling me that this was all apart of your big plan?”

“How about I kiss you here and here and…”

“Lucky for you I make a mean fettuccine alfredo.”

“The plane just left… it’s too late.”

“Stop sending me mixed signals!!”

“Even when we were kids I always kicked your ass!”

“I love your smile and how I can make you smile.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“Is that my sweater?”

“Damn you look sexy.”

“If you actually cared how I felt then you would show me.”

“Do we have a deal?”

“If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you feel nothing between us then I’ll stop and leave this alone.”

“Just leave me alone.”

“They make it look so much easier in the movies.”

“Give me a reason to not turn around and leave.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“Can’t you see that I’m in love with you?”

“Hey I need you to be my fake boyfriend/girlfriend for a family dinner tonight!”

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Just wondering but uhhh what are we?”

“Don’t do that again I was worried out of my mind.”

“You can’t just scare people when they’re walking alone in an alley oh my gosh!”

“What’s the surprise?” “Well if I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?”

“Forgive me please I don’t know if I can handle you being upset with me.”

“Join me in the shower?”

“You owe me a kiss.”

“Would you just hold still please?”

“I’m not even gonna lie I love this.”

“Let’s go skydiving!”

“You’re drunk.”

“We’ll make the distance work I promise.”

“Stop being a tease!”

“I uhhhh locked the keys in my car.”

“Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you?”

“One day we’ll get married and have kids of our own.”

“We’re stuck in the middle of nowhere.”

“I’m a helpless romantic.”

“Why are we whispering?!!”

“I can’t believe I get to wake up to you every morning.”

“That’s my favorite bra.”

“You’re not alone, I will always be here for you.”

“Did we seriously just match?? Are we a couple that matches clothes now?”

“Happy Anniversary.”

“You’ll eventually fall in love with me, mark my words.”

“You gave me a hickey??!!!?”

“Stop doing that.” “Doing what?” “You know that thing where you look at me and give me butterflies.”“Did I just turn you on?”

“C’mon dance with me.”

“You know how in the movies when everything goes in slow motion before the kiss? That’s how I feel everytime I’m about to kiss you.”

“What’s wrong love?”

“Okay hear me out... What if we have sex?”

“Can you play with my hair please?”

“I need a massage and a glass of wine right about now.”

“Try me.”

“Are we back in middle school?? Just tell me already!”

“It’s simple, you help me with my homework and I’ll give you kissing lessons.”

“Is that… lingerie?”

“That was my best pickup line!”

“Hey calm down I’m here, I got you, slow your breathing.”

“Let’s just forget that never happened.”

“Nice of you to drop in.”

“I’m so unbelievably stressed and I can’t handle it anymore.”

“Don’t leave me please.”

“Do you have a daddy kink?”

“Looks like that study session went well.”

“I’ll always be your biggest fan.”

“Wow I didn’t think I could fall even more in love with you.”

“Me sarcastic?? Never.”

“Is that a cut on your forehead??”

“I can easily go without sex for a month.”

“S/He’s my best friend, nothing has changed.” “Well I can tell the feelings you have for them have.”

“C-can I hold your hand?”

“This song always reminds me of you.”

“If only I could kiss you right now.”

“I have to make this right.”

“You’re a little sunburnt.”

“What if I told you I felt the same way?”

“Just kiss me already.”

“Focus on me alright? Just keep your eyes on me.”

“The smell of coconuts and vanilla reminders me of you.”

“Let’s just say I’m the best girlfriend/boyfriend ever.”

“I cannot wait until we get on that roller coaster!” “We???! So all of a sudden you speak french now?! I am not going on that!”

“We’re meant to be together and you’re too scared to admit it.”

“Never have I ever been in love with best friend.”

“Guess I have a way with words.”

“It’ll be like we’re Bonnie and Clyde!” “You do know they die in the end right?!” “Can’t you ever just let the analogy work for once?!!”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy/girl I just confessed my love to.”

“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

“You’re such a brat!”

[writersblog20]

The fight and the love

Pedro Pascal x Agent reader (ANGST) 

Summary: It would’ve been an easy mission. You were supposed to take out a group that was planning a terrorist attack but things soon, turned horribly wrong.

Warnings: SEVERE PTSD, VERY TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE, mention of terrorism attack, being tortured for information, close to death, all the Symptoms that comes along with PTSD, quick mention of wanting to die but not by suicide, mention of team being murdered and tortured, multiple injuries etc etc, really, read with precaution and if you’re sensitive to these kind of things, I would advise you not to read this story. I have a masterlist with more uplifting and comforting storied but I wanted to try something new.

Words: 6K (oops)

I’M NOT JOKING, READ WITH PRECAUTION PLEASE! 

A/N: This could be read as platonic or romantic relationship with Pedro. Also hi, I’m sorry for being so inactive for too long, I’ve been so, so busy with school, my job, and doing the graphics on my own for a big festival so as you can imagine, I don’t have the time to write but I WON’T stop! I’ll post so now and then. Hope you all understand, much love from your homegirl.❤️

The fight and the love

It would’ve been an easy mission they said… This was your first mission as a team leader, and it wouldn’t have been a big deal but that was nothing close to the truth. One thing you were sure about, there was a leak. But that wasn’t your big concern right now. Getting out of this situation alive, was your biggest concern. You needed to get yourself and your team back home.

You were supposed to stop a terror attack, but it was a well planed trap, taking you and your team somewhere secluded to spread terror across the country. They send videos public of yourself and your team getting tortured, and it booked the news all over the news. Not that you knew all of that, but you did know that the torture sessions were getting recorded. They wanted to know something and since you were the leader of the team, they came regular back into the room you were placed in.

Your breathing was wheezy, suspectedly from a collapsed lung, you guessed. You looked at the stab wounds which were burned to stop the bleeding, so they could keep torturing you and try to get information from you. You told them lies. You knew they would kill you if you didn’t give them something, yet they would kill you if you would tell the truth. They were doubting if you were lying or not so that’s how you’re still alive, inside some sort of chamber.

You had no idea how long you were here. It felt like an eternity, but it might’ve been 2 days or 2 weeks. You had no access to sunlight, keeping you guessing if it was night or day. You stared at the cement wall in front of you and thought about Pedro and the tears fell across your face. You were sure that you were not getting out of here alive. You just wished you would’ve told him how much he means to you, hug him, tell him you loved him. That was all you could think about in here, Pedro and how the hell you were getting yourself out of this. You were scared to death that he might’ve seen a torture video of you, that might’ve been worse than the torture because you knew it would affect him on a deeper level. You didn’t want those images circling his mind. You wanted him to think about the happy memories.

That was how you didn’t give up. There were many, many moments where you just wanted to die. Wanted them to kill you and be over with this. The moments where they were waterboarding and your lungs feeling on fire, thinking every second will be your last. Every hit, every shock, every stab wound, made you just want to die but then Pedro flashes through your mind. The moments of laughter, the hugs, silly dances, serious conversations, and most importantly, the love you felt in his presence. He was and will always be, the most important person in your entire live. Pedro was your family. And the moments you were the most scared in the torture sessions, all you could think of was Pedro, thinking that every minute was going to be your last and you didn’t want to go with the feeling of being absolutely petrified. No, you wanted to think about someone you loved, Pedro.

You had no clue when your last ‘session’ was. To keep yourself sane, you talked to the wall, imagining it was Pedro. You told the wall everything you wanted to tell him. You had no idea if your team members were still alive, who weren’t or if you were the only one. The thoughts about the government handling this came to mind as well. Were they planning on rescuing you, or not. You knew that they wouldn’t negotiate with terrorist so that scared you. The thought of nobody coming to rescue you was horrible. You had to keep your mind from swirling down into a deep rabbit hole, so you refocused on the happy memories with Pedro. Like the days he brought you to Disney because he heard you’ve never been there, taking you to the beach, or you taking him back to your birth country and show him the things from your childhood. You felt helpless yet determined. It was such a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts. You were sure that this was a form of torture as well as the physical.

The door slammed open, and you saw the terrorist for the first time without something covering their face and at that moment, you were sure you were going to die. They walked over to you, dragging you up. You tried to fight back but your entire body was in too much pain. You had no idea how many bones they broke but you were sure there would be a couple. They kicked you and you screamed as loud as you could and kicked around but they got you. You promised yourself, not to go down without putting up a fight. They dragged your body into the torture room, and you saw blood everywhere. You were sure someone just died in here. There was no way that someone could lose this much blood and still be alive.

They placed you on a table and you knew the drill. Waterboarding. You felt your heartrate pick up, the thundering against your chest, your breathing shallow and fast. You tried to beg for mercy, crying your eyes out at this point and tried to fight them.  A towel was placed over your face, and you felt water being poured over you, the air escaping you. You tried to remain as calm as possible at this point, trying to keep as much air in your lungs as you could. But as usual, they kept the towel on your face for a very long time. You started gasping for air and tried to wiggle around but they had put something sharp on your wrist, ankles, and neck, making every movement even more unbearable because of the pain. You felt yourself grow dizzy and slowly losing consciousness until you passed out.

~time skip~

You felt something sharp hit you, waking you up in an unbearable feeling of pain as you let out a blood curling scream. You tried to wiggle away but the sharp things, keeping you in place, which you could now see was barbed wire. You saw the blood seeping down and a big knife in your stomach and you were certain they had hit an organ, making you bleed intern. They took out the knife and they plunged it into your leg, making you scream again, and they repeated this for a while, screaming things in a different language. They held the knife up to your throat and made you look in the camera. And this was the moment you were sure that you were going to die in here. You saw the camera blink red. Tears streamed down your face and all you could think of was the world seeing you die. Pedro, seeing you die. You needed him to know that you loved him so that was what you said: “I love you Pedge.” The knife was tightly against your throat, and you felt hot liquid wall down from where the knife was and closed your eyes, expecting it to happen right now until there was an extremely loud sound coming from outside.

So loud that the whole building shook. The camera fell, just like the terrorists besides you. everything was covered in dust, making it hard to see. Your ears were buzzing, and people were screaming around you, giving out orders and from pain. There was still a knife in your leg, and you knew that this was your only chance to escape so you took the knife out of your leg and tried to cover your scream. You started slicing in the wires and luckily, you were loose. You saw that they left the door open, and you tried to stand up but fell from the pain and the loss of blood.

You saw people in uniforms coming in, a green laser from their guns. “Found her!” a man screamed and helped you up. Another soldier helping you as well, leading you out of the room and building. “We’re going to get you out of here chief.” They said and it was an odd feeling of relieve, yet horror. People were screaming all around you, your vision blurry and you fell again. They picked you up and carried you outside. The sun was out, shining brightly on your face. It was hot and still dusty. You looked around you and saw a couple of buildings around you, probably base camp of some sorts. There was a lot of sand, and the sun was already burning you. They gave you water since you were very dehydrated. That was the moment it occurred to you that they didn’t give you food. It might be strange not to think about it earlier but with all the pain and torture going around, that was the last thing on your mind.

They brought you to the rescue helicopter and immediately a doctor looked at your wounds. The way her nose scrunched up and her eyebrows knitted together, didn’t give you the best feeling in the world, even though it was no surprise to you how badly you were injured. Yes, they’ve rescued you out of the building but there was still an immediate danger for your life. The moment the helicopter raised up, a feeling of safety washed over you. A colleague who went along on the mission, held your hand. You wanted to ask where everyone was, but you couldn’t talk, you didn’t know why. She was trying to get every wound stable, her hands grabbing stuff around her as you slipped in and out of consciousness.

“Hey kiddo, come on, stay awake for me, okay?” your colleague begged you. “We’re going to get you home, okay? But you’ve got to stay awake for me.” you squeezed his hand and the doctor spoke up: “This is bad. It’s not looking good right now. Can we go faster?” she asked worried. You just tried to stay focused on your colleague until you felt everything grow very heavy, including your eyelids. You heard people begging around you to stay away and you tried to, but the feeling of your heavy eyelids won.

~

“Put her on the stretcher!” your colleague shouted. The helicopter was landed on the roof of the hospital, the other doctors already waiting for you. The doctor from the helicopter, staying by your side and keeping the bags of blood transfusion and painkillers, and the IV. Some soldiers put pressure on the wounds inflicted on you. They wheeled you in and Pedro was walking back and forth, biting his nails, hair ruffled, baggy eyes from lack of sleep and crying. His eyes went big as they wheeled you in the hospital and tried to get you as fast to surgery as possible. The doctor from the helicopter, telling the doctors her founding’s. Pedro was by your side in a second and was shocked to see the state that you were in. The tears streamed down his face as he looked at your bloody, bruised body that was covered by wires, bags, and Iv’s. Your colleagues took Pedro away and informed him while the rolled you immediately into surgery.

~time skip~

Your head was pounding, ears still buzzing, and your body started to tense up from anxiety and adrenaline. You heard a familiar beeping sound, speeding up, and you tried to open your eyes. The pain rushed back to you and the room was too light. You whimpered from the pain and felt that somebody was holding your hand. “baby girl?” you heard a very familiar voice, whisper. His voice cracked as he asked you. You tried to blink a few times, but everything looked blurry. You saw Pedro bow a bit down over you. You squeezed his hand in response, your voice still very painful and croaky. You heard someone walk in with heels. Everything in you was now on high alert. You knew you were safe and probably in a hospital yet, your body didn’t know that and was still completely in survival modes.  You kept blinking until the blur wasn’t so obvious anymore.

You saw Pedro with tears pooling in his eyes and it broke your heart into a million pieces. This was the man that kept you going so long, that made you want to keep on fighting, keeping you alive, sane, and not so alone. You felt everything crumble down as you let the tears out. A loud sob escaped your throat, hurting you in the process as you tried to reach your arms around him but to no avail. Luckily, Pedro knew what you wanted and very carefully placed his arms around you, and hang a bit over your body, making it look like he was shielding you from every dangerous thing in the world. You hid your face in the crook of his neck and completely broke down as his comforting smell hit your nose, giving you the feeling of safety back.

“Oh, baby girl.” He tried to calm you down, but he was way too emotional as well and cried. You just both held each other, and you tensed every muscle that you had around him, to feel him close even though it pained you. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” That were the first words you told him. He didn’t know why you thanked him at that time, but you were sure to tell him why later. More sobs escaped you and you felt something move the iv in your arm, making you panicked again. Your body jolted from panic as you tried to move Pedro away and look at what was happening. Even though your rational thoughts knew it was a doctor, you just didn’t trust it. You saw a kind face looking at you and before you could do anything she spoke up: “Don’t worry, I’m just readjusting your iv and put some extra medication in against the pain and to keep you relaxed.”

You had a rollercoaster of emotions floating through you right now. From panic, to feeling safe, to feeling scared and in danger to emptiness again. Pedro saw the swirl of emotions in your eyes just like the doctor. Pedro’s heart broke even more, seeing you like this. “Do you remember what happened?” The doctor asked softly and now you finally took in your surroundings. You were in a hospital room, next to a window. It was dark out and you could see lights from the skyscrapers. The lights in the room dimmed but since they kept you in darkness for God knows how long, it obviously pained your eyes,

“How long was I in there?” that was all you needed to know. The doctor looked down with a pained expression just like Pedro. “A week and a half. They found you through some details in the video that was shown public.” You frowned “Public?” you felt your heartbeat go up and the doctor and Pedro looked at the monitor. “Videos of you, and your team being tortured and killed, got leaked to the public…..” and once again, it felt like your world was crashing down on you. “Everyone has seen it?” You asked and your voice cracked. Pedro sniffled and nodded as he looked down for a second before making eye contact. You saw it. you could see it in his eyes, clear as day, that he had seen the things and you felt your heart break once again.  “I’m so sorry, baby girl.” You weren’t sure why he was apologizing but nodded, tears escaping.

‘How long have I been here?” you decided to ask and change the subject. “2 days or so. We were expecting for you to be asleep for a week, given your injuries.” She told you honest. “What are my injuries exactly?” you looked at her, kind of afraid of her answer. It became dead silent in the room as she handed you the file. You frowned a bit and opened your file. You saw a whole goddamn list of injuries. Broken ribs, 24 stab wounds, collapsed lung, internal bleeding from your abdomen, jaw broken on multiple places, broken eye socket, multiple stiches needed for the cuttings, broken wrist, broken ankle, water found in lungs, badly bruised neck, and the list just went on and on.

You felt tears pooling in your eyes and handed the doctor her files back, not wanting to read more for now. “There will be a psychologist seeing you tomorrow. To adjust ehh.. your mental health…” you nodded and felt a brick on your heart. You just wanted to forget about it all and never talk about it again, but you knew. You knew damn well. You already had PTSD but now…. yeah, you knew the drill, didn’t make it any easier though.

“Thank you.” you tried to steady your voice but failed. She nodded “Can I do something else for you? How is the pain now and do you maybe want to eat or drink something?” she asked you and you didn’t know. Everything was just so intense right now that even answering the easiest questions was too hard. “Do you want some water sweetheart?” Pedro crouched down on eyesight, figuring out what kind of mental state you were in and tried to make it easier for you. Pedro’s voice was so soft and kind that it brought you to tears again. You nodded about drinking some water. “I’ll give you something stronger for the pain.” She decided for herself, and you were glad she did.

You couldn’t look away from Pedro. It felt unreal to see him again. For, apparently, a week and a half you were so sure that you were going to die and never see him again. But you were here and so was he. The doctor walked away, and Pedro found it hard to make eye contact with you. To see the pain in your eyes was too much for him to handle. You brushed your bruise knuckles over the back of his hand. “Please look at me.” You begged him as your voice broke. He slowly looked up, tears in his eyes as well. “Please stay with me. I’m scared.” You told him through tears as you confessed and that was what broke him the most, hearing you, the person he knew that wasn’t afraid of anything, tell him that you were scared. Tears fell onto his cheeks.

He intertwined your fingers, and you cupped his cheek to softly wipe the tears of his cheek. “Can you please hold me?” you sniffled, having enough of being strong right now. You just wanted to be held so badly. He nodded “Of course, mi Chica.” He sniffled and kissed your forehead as he stood up, letting his lips linger on your forehead. Your hands carefully held his wrist that ever so carefully cupped your cheek. Pedro sniffled again and let his forehead rest against yours. “I was so afraid to lose you.” Pedro confessed as his tears escaped his eyes again. “I was afraid that I was never going to see you again, tell you how much I love you, hold you.” he kept confessing and somehow you felt relieved yet pained that he felt the same thing as you did. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m here now.” you sniffled through your own tears. He nodded and took a deep breath to control himself.

You tried to scoop over so Pedro could lay down next to you, but the pain was too much. “Lie still sweetheart, I don’t want you to be in more pain as it is.” You whimpered slightly. You didn’t care about the pain, you wanted Pedro to cuddle you, and the determination was visible on your eyes as he chuckled softly, but it also told him in how much of desperation you were for him right now.

The doctor walked back in and softly knocked, exposing her presence as not to scare you. You and Pedro looked at her and as if she figured out what you wanted, she smiled kindly at you. “We could put an extra bed besides you, if you’d like…” she told the two of you with a smile. You nodded and tried to give her a genuine smile back but failed. She gave you a bottle of water with a straw in and put the things besides you to your other side. Pedro helped her with the bed and placed it tightly against yours. Pedro took his shoes off and climbed in next to you as the doctor put some stronger medication into your iv. “There you go, you should be able to sleep a bit now. Get some rest, you and your body need it right now. And if there is anything, anything at all, just press this button and I’m here within seconds.” You could cry at how kind she was right now. It probably was because of the week and a half full of torture and hate that it felt unnatural that someone was kind. It just felt off.

You whispered a small thank you and looked at her with tears in your eyes. She gave you an apologetic smile back and nodded, walking out of the room. You looked at Pedro who held a close eye on you, as suspected. He carefully placed his arm underneath your head so you could rest on it. “I’ll hold you on one condition.” It felt like he was strict right now “If it pains you, you tell me, okay? and we figure another way out, alright baby girl?” He asked you and looked deeply into your eyes so the message would be clear. You nodded and let him hold you. He laid down on his side, his other arm around you and you let your head rest against his shoulder. “Thank you.” you whispered out. You felt the meds kicking in like a brick. It got you relaxed and sleepy and it worked like a charm. Your eyes heavy again and you fell asleep in no time just not for long. Night terrors are a common symptom of PTSD and even though you were safe, it wasn’t over.

“baby girl wake up! Sweetheart! please wake up…..” Pedro tried to wake you up from a bad night terror. The doctor and nurses ran into the room. “Miss…. Miss, you’re dreaming wake up.” but nothing worked so they decided to doze up your medication until you shot up straight in bed, completely out of breath, still in a panic. You were in the hospital, but the flashbacks got you back into the chamber and in everyone around you, you saw those terrorists. You screamed on the top of your lungs and tried to fight them off. Pedro was shocked in horror at how bad this was.  I mean, of course he knew it was bad, he saw the videos. But the moment you didn’t recognize Pedro, he knew you needed help. Tears floating in his eyes again when a nurse ran out of the room. Even though, you are very badly injured, your need to survival was stronger, making you inhumanly strong from the adrenaline right now.

Pedro walked up to you while the nurses tried to hold you down, so you wouldn’t tear up the stitches. Pedro was determined to bring you back and cupped your cheeks. Your eyes were extremely big, pupils blown as he looked desperately in your eyes. “Baby girl, it’s me, Pedro. Remember? Your safe, I won’t let anything bad happen to you, look at me Chiquita. Come on, I know you’re in there. please, I need you.” his voice begging you more with each word. You slowly stopped struggling and Pedro could see it in your eyes that you were back. Your heartrate slowly going down, while you tried to catch your breath and looked around you in shock of what you just did. Tears forming in your eyes. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry… I eh…..” you were shocked in horror at how bad it was, I mean, it’s to be suspected but still, how could you forget your Pedge? They all took a deep breath that you were back. Pedro softly petted over your hair in order to calm you down more and letting you know that he is there. “I’m sorry…” you looked teary eyed at the nurses and doctors.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. It’s not a little thing you went through. IT completely understandable. But thank you for apologizing even though you don’t have to.” You felt tears running over your cheeks as the realization hit you that you were going to have to deal with a lot of things. You just started crying, feeling so extremely defeated that for a moment, you whished they just would’ve killed you and that thought made you even cry more because on the other hand you were happy to be alive and with Pedro, but it was all so much and confusing with all these emotions running through your body.

You tried to collect your head when a nurse spoke up: “Would you like to maybe watch a movie or something light? It might help you fall asleep a bit more peaceful and distract you.” The other nurses exchanged looks as if it was a good idea and to be honest, you would like that. You tried to give her a smile and nodded “That might be a good idea. I would like that.” She smiled and nodded.

She gave you the tv remote and told you that Netflix was available. The nurses still gave you the medication to calm you down if you would have another flashback. Pedro noticed your need for distraction right now and he gave you all the room and time to share your story with him, whenever you are ready. He was just relieved that he had you back in his arms again.

Pedro was glued to your side, and you didn’t mind it one bit, you needed him to be as close as possible. You both watched the Golden Girls. Pedro told you about the show once and you decided to watch a couple of episodes with him and you loved it.  Even though you tried to focus on the tv but you kept going back to that moment which you thought would be your last. “I thought I would never see you again.” You whispered as your head was resting on his chest in a way that didn’t hurt you. You felt Pedro shift and you knew he was looking at you, so you looked up.

You felt your eyes filled up with tears again for the millionth time that day. “I thought I was going to die there and all I could think about was you.” Pedro felt his heart break and tears escaped his eyes but didn’t say something. He just let you speak, knowing you weren’t finished telling him. “All I could think of that week and a half was you. You kept me going when I wanted to die. They put me in a chamber for so long in complete darkness and I would talk to the wall, pretending I was talking to you. It kept me somehow sane.” Pedro listened intently to every word you told him. He was absolutely gob smacked to what you confessed and how much he meant to you.

“When they would…. When they did those things to me… I wanted nothing more than to die right on the spot, hoping they would have mercy and take me out of my misery but… when those thoughts came, so did you, it was like you pushed those thoughts away and when they would…. torture me… all I thought was about happy memories of us. Of us in Disneyland, dancing in the livingroom, sneaking into a theater to see the reaction of people who watched you on the big screen. Every happy memory I could think of, was with you. You kept me going, kept me fighting to survive.”

Pedro couldn’t help but cry from the moving words you confessed to him. “I thought… I was never going to see you again. I wanted to tell you so many things, hug you and see you for the last time. I was so sure of it to never see you again, and so convinced I was going to die there and already accepting my faith, that… that it feels weird to see you again. Like it all isn’t real and I’m just imagining it, like I’m going crazy, and I’ve finally lost it in there that I’m imagining all of this. I don’t know what’s real or not anymore….” Pedro was silently letting his tears fall until you confessed that you weren’t sure if this was real. That part brought determination to him.

“Mi corazon…. This is real, I’m real. You are safe but I understand that you don’t feel that way… that it messes with your head. But I know you trust me, and let me tell you, this is real. He carefully took your hand in his and placed it on his chest where his heart is. “You feel that? That’s real. All of this is real. I’m lost for words to your story… it… I …. I love you too. I’m so sorry that this happened, really, I can’t express it enough. And I love you too, I really do. When you’re fully recovered, we are going to make so many more happy memories. So much more that it won’t leave room for the bad” he told you and his digit softly tapping against your head. “We’ll get through this, together. I won’t leave your side and when you can get out of here, please stay at my house for a while. I’ll take care of you, love you through the good and the bad and won’t ever leave you. Come here sweetheart, your safe now.” he told you and let you cry it out while he comforted you through it.

“I would like that, to stay a while with you after this.” you talked through the sniffles.

~time skip~

It’s been over 3 months and you moved in with Pedro for a while. You had trauma therapy at least 3 times in the week and the aftermath of the event was unbelievable heavy. Panic attacks, night terrors, flashbacks, dissociation. Your triggers were enormous. Like the shower already triggered you from the waterboarding. Not to forget that your body was still recovering. It was tough but Pedro kept true to his word, not that you thought differently but still. He had soooo much patience and helped you through every flashback, every night terror, every panic attack, he was there, and you could count on him.

You’ve been given a while from work to readjust. But you still had court sittings. You had to testify against some of the terrorists that were still alive and in captivity. They had all the recordings, inclusive the last video, just before you got rescued. They haven’t shown that tape to the public but now would be the first time and obviously, Pedro was there to support you. They played the tape, and you couldn’t look. You couldn’t look at the screen, couldn’t look at the people in court, couldn’t look at Pedro because you knew, what you though were, your last words.

Every now and then your curiosity got the best of you and stole a glance from Pedro who stared in disbelieve at the screen, tears going over his cheek as he shook his head. The moment you looked in the camera, you looked up at the screen. God you looked bad, like really bad in that video that you are shocked yourself that you even made it out alive. That was how bad you looked like.

You looked down again and heard through the speakers in the court room: “I love you Pedge.” Pedro’s eyes went wide and immediately landed on you, the pool of tears visible in his eyes as he tried to give you a loving smile. Which you tried to return but in both of your expressions, there was too much pain. The people in the room went silent and the judge as well, everyone was taken aback by the horrors that played out on the screen.

~time skip~

Pedro opened the door of his car for you and helped you in. both of you were still lost for words after the video being played. Not only that, but you also saw how the people of your team die. It was a very hard day. The terrorist won’t be seeing the daylight ever in their life and you couldn’t care less about it right now. so many emotions going through you. “Why don’t we pick up some ice cream for at home?” Pedro softly asked you, both of you still not mentioned about what you said in the video. “Yeah, sure.” You told him and there was a thick silence again that you both felt.  You looked over at Pedro who had tears in his eyes as he tried to concentrate on the way. You knew that this hit him very hard. You placed your hand gently on his and he looked over at you, trying to push his tears away. “I told you, I was thinking about you all the time. I just… I thought I was going to die and… and I didn’t want to go out without saying that I loved you. I needed you to know that.” Pedro parked on the side of the road and sniffled. He got out of the car without saying anything and it almost had sent you into a complete panic attack. He opened your door and you looked at him, afraid of what was to come.

He wrapped his arms tightly around you as he sat on his knees on the ground and held you tightly while some sobs escaped his own throat. His face was against your stomach, and you went with your fingers through his hair and held him tightly with your other arm. When he calmed down after a while, he sniffled. “I’m sorry. It’s different to really see it on video. I wanted to attack that guy so bad because of what eh has done to you. it made me furious and to hear you say, what you thought were your last moments. I just… it hit me that… that you wanted your last words….” He couldn’t finish it, but you knew what he meant. To direct your last words to him.

You cupped his cheeks and gave him for the first time in a very, very long time a genuine smile. He started laughing through his tears and put his arms around you in a big hug. “I love you too and there won’t be a day gone by without me saying that to you. I love you to the moon and back.” he kissed your head multiple times. “Like you said, we’ll get through this together.” Pedro smiled and held you tightly. “So how about that ice cream, and cuddles when we get home? We could watch a movie if you’d like?” he told you enthusiastic which made you smile, genuinely again. It hyped Pedro even more up to finally see that beautiful smile after 3 months. “That sounds very nice Pedge. I’d like that.” You told him and he drove off with a smile as he held your hand.

[nightmarist]

OK i wanna talk abt themes, parallels, etc between my vampire oc and astarion:

ixalan vampires in mtg are blessed by the immortal sun - its where they get their powers from. they can walk in the daylight and most mtg vampires in other planes can see their reflections. aurelio is a paladin, and in a pre-phyrexia/post-war of the spark world, the ixalan vampires aren't conquerors anymore by Saint Elenda's decree (the first vampire of ixalan).

vampirism in ixalan is to be used to protect people, it is a sacrifice like martyrdom, not something to advocate all people become. vampires are revered as holy and go out of their way to fast for days, weeks, months at a time as to only drink the blood of "sinners, criminals, and heretics" - there is canonically a problem with some vampires deciding who is considered a sinner and abusing their power, but it is generally frowned upon socially and legally. i have additional heacanons about their social structure, but thats neither here nor there.

astarion is (or was, I supposed) a night-bound vampire who could only travel in darkness. he hadnt felt the sun in 200 years until after he was kidnapped by the mindflayers and infected. he can't see his reflection anymore but he still manages a vain facade. vampires, at least cazador and velioth specifically, are horribly abusive to their "children" and don't care necessarily whose blood they drink. at the most they seem to care how pretty their victims are, not about their character. as astarion puts it, vampires are a threat to each other for being competitors in territory.

however, in ixalan, the rite to becoming a vampire is a sacred one, and vampires are meant to coexist as a unit of protection. in other planes, some vampires make an effort to maintain a balanced predator/prey existence as not to accidentally extinct humans and therefore starve themselves to death.

the culture shock I love to imagine in particular, how wounded or jealous astarion might be of how Wonderful ixalan vampirism sounds compared to the horrors he had to live with. aurelio being personally slighted and disgusted and Outraged by cazador's treatment of his sacred and holy wards, horrified by the outright abuse.

most vampires across mtg have different ways of turning. for ixalan, its a sacred ritual performed by a select few so the bite of a vampire doesn't necessarily make a spawn, nor does sharing of blood make a vampire. frankly, i think the concept of a vampire "spawn" or otherwise "not-vampire-vampire" would be so alien to aurelio, just as alien as aurelio's entire type of vampirism is to astarion.

both of them are filrtatiious but in wildly different ways. astarion's filrting and charisma mostly seems to come out of a need to survive - maybe he had that personality type prior to being turned, but it evolved into a defense mechanism to lure victims, to talk his way out of problems, and more. he's usually not very genuine about it despite it comes as easy as breathing to him (which is the added tragedy).

aurelio is flirtatious but much more genuinely - he doesn't do it to gt what he wants, he does it because he likes to compliment people, to see them smile. he loves finding ways to make people happy, and does it so ostentatiously, waxing poetic about a person's hair or eyes or fighting style, whatever he keenly sees is that person's area of interest or something they need to hear.

for aurelio, there's an art to seduction, while his charisma is genuine he still uses it to keep a personal distance between himself and others, using subtext and cultural social cues and stratified language to keep a personal distance between himself and who he's flirting with as not to accidentally misled someone and hurt them. but seduction includes these kinds of flirtations. it's an intricate dance and both parties ebb and flow the waltz until someone backs away or gets closer.

This is where the one of the biggest clashes of their developing relationship i think comes between them - when aurelio flirts with him, astarion plays along as a survival tactic. astarion flirts and plays with people to get what he wants and automatically assumes that what aurelio is doing, especially because he sees aurelio do it to, well, everyone. astarion doesnt believe aurelio is being genuine, and aurelio is hurt when astarion isn't being genuine. and it creates this interesting tension, this wedge, when they both want to express how they feel but their "love language" is, early on at least, incompatible.

let alone the additional envy that astarion would feel about aurelio's vampirism type - maybe he cant taste food, but he could always walk in the sun? people revered them? i definitely want to write a high tension scene where he snaps at aurelio out of a combination of jealousy and this massive gap of experiences they have.

the vampiric age gap and power imbalance i think is also intriguing. mtg vampires live to thousands of years old, although ixalan are among the younger vampires. astarion is only 200 (ish) years old but doesn't actually know (as per "speak with dead" if you kill him, cries). on one hand, the anomaly of vampirism erasing the idea of age gap between vampires, centuries are centuries and whose keeping track, is an interesting one, but reailstically this is also a thousand some year old vampire realizing this barely 2 century vampire has basically never lived a real life and they have to dance this power imbalance, aurelio not wanting to overstep boundaries and astarion inherently feeling threatened or lesser than an older "true" vampire in near constant fight-flight-freeze even if it's someone he wants to care about and needing to work through it, and aurelio learning how to navigate astarion's nature delicately without insulting his strength of character.

[thefallenangelsgang]

This is the incomplete scene the line from the tag game is pulled from. I'm not tagging it with anything in the hopes it gets hopelessly buried but I am too excited to not share. I am not kidding when I say narrative has not felt this easy in a long time.

Spoilers for Act 3 of Baldur's Gate, TW for Blood and Body Fluids (spinal fluid to be precise), I wanted the stakes to feel a little higher so I peppered in some bodily trauma hence the blood 'n stuff, brief uncouth language (there's a few fucks sprinkled in there)

Some context for it: this picks up after the failed Elder Brain Domination sequence immediately as the portal closes with the Party in the Astral Plane. The Tav and Narrator is a High Elf named Wynleth, she romanced Gale. All of the Companions (minus Minthara cause she didn't make it into the cool kids club) plus two OCs (repped by hirelings in my gameplay) are present.

Also, Emperor hate if you are sensitive to that. I'm not the Tentacle's biggest fan frankly, hence why this exists.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At times the squirming feeling had been uncomfortable. It even had been painful, distracting from whatever I was attempting to focus on. This is a whole other plane of being. The fire in my cranium consumes me, making coherent thought impossible. My mouth is filled with the distinct taste of copper and something I cannot place. Pressure builds and it makes it feel like my eardrums might rupture or perhaps my head might just explode altogether. That almost would be a welcome release from this torture

Then all at once it stops. The sudden shift from everything being too much to feeling nothing at all is damn near deafening in a different way than the pressure and pain was. I loll in disorientation and hands steady me, bracing my shoulders. 

My vision swims at first. Blues and purples and greys swirl like strange liquid in a glass jar. It only adds to the dizziness brought on by the pervasive numbness. The hands are still gripping my shoulders. I can almost feel my hands, almost. The gritty texture against my palms speaks to handfuls of dirt clenched in my fists. I will myself to release them.

It’s muffled but I think someone speaks my name. So close I can feel the vibrations in my chest yet we might as well be separated by an eternity. It’s an effort to bring my hand up to grip their forearm. It’s an even greater effort to bring my head up to look them in the eyes. 

I can’t discern exactly who it is through the intricate dance the colors are doing in my eyes. The figure is dark against the shimmering ethereal background so it is not one of my fairer companions whose complexions would only muddle my identification more. I try to ask for a name but a strained sound is the only thing to push past my lips. Well that and a bit more blood.

A new wave of numbness washes over me starting from the crown of my head and spreading to the very edges of my person. A little clarity comes with it this time and the vertigo subsides.

“Take it easy, you gave us quite a scare.”

Shadowheart. Still muffled but sounding closer by the second. Something I’m hoping resembles a smile graces my face. 

Then The Emperor speaks and a crashing wave of pain drowns the words out, ripping a cry from my mouth. No fresh blood this time though. 

A pulse of Shadowheart’s healing magic surges through me, a touch too harsh considering she is dealing with my brain pan, but I think that can be forgiven given that it sounds like she is reaming the Illithid for all it’s worth. 

“-stupid? Her brain has been scrambled enough. Until she’s stable, kindly shut the fuck up.” 

The silence after is telling. That round of healing must have knocked something back into place though, the dirt comes into sharp focus. I never thought I’d be so happy to see pebbles. I’m less pleased to see the amount of blood and clear liquid that mars the ground and both pairs of knees in my field of view. “Sorry about your pants.”

My speech is still lethargic and ungraceful and I certainly missed the mark on the coy tone I was going for, but the way Gale’s face floods with relief at my coherence feels almost as good as the magic coursing through my veins. 

“My pants? Don’t ever scare me like that again!” The incredulity of his initial statement melts into something of a mix of concern and joy as he cups my face. His eyes betray the fright I put him through though. I wish I had the strength to feel sorry about that but I really can only make room for relief at the moment. “I really thought that was going to be it,” I say thickly before gathering some saliva to spit the fluid in my mouth off to the side. 

“So did we. It was… a lot.” Shadowheart is somewhere behind me. The fear peeks through her usually even cadence. I must have put on quite a show. “Is this clear stuff what I think it is?” I venture and really hope she doesn’t affirm my suspicions. Spinal fluid means something was desperately wrong. I grit my teeth as I wait for a response.

“Y-Yes. I think so at least.” Now she touches me. A gentle hand between my shoulder blades. “You’d think they turned on a hose the way it sprayed out of you, darling.”

The urge to laugh at Astarion’s colorful retelling of the events is a difficult fight, one I lose. I bury it into my shoulder and try to cover it with a cough but the way Gale clucks his tongue at the comment of very poor taste breaks the dam. My reaction cracks a smile on the wizard’s face, however miniscule, though. 

“I’m sorry my love, it’s all just a little absurd,” I say, still gallantly attempting to retain some composure.

“You’re cracking.” 

“Spectacularly.”

Teasing each other in this moment seems entirely irreverent to the fact that I almost just died and that the situation we are in just got a whole lot more grim but the Gods can strike us down for attempting to find some levity. 

Gently I lean forward and rest my head against Gale’s shoulder. I’m fucking tired and I feel lightheaded despite everything Shadowheart has done but there’s very little she can do about that without actual supplies. I’m short a not insubstantial bit of liquid between the blood and the spinal fluid. It certainly looks worse than it is though. We could try a cocktail of potions and elixirs to get me back up to speed but I think I’d rather rest a bit before we try drugging me into fighting shape. Gale’s arms around me feel nice.

“Am I all clear Shadowheart?” I turn to rest my temple on Gale’s clavicle. From this vantage I can see my party gathered around in a tight bunch wearing grim faces of worry. Shadowheart looks exhausted, I likely took quite a bit out of her, but she nods. 

The Emperor floats back over and makes a motion like it’s asking permission to speak, shocking me more than it probably should. But if the psionic link is going to turn my brain to soup then maybe it is best to ask the cleric first before she has to revive me again. Her stern gaze is comforting and promises hell if I end up with more liquid leaking out my nose. 

The psionics aren’t painful per se, they certainly are more uncomfortable than usual. I try not to grimace too much and make Shadowheart call the communication off. Charades are not indicative of good battle plans and I have a feeling reading is only going to make the lingering headache worse. Besides, we really don’t have time.

“The situation is worse than I thought.” I watch Astarion roll his eyes theatrically. He chooses to keep his mouth shut. Smart man. “What you went up against is an Elder Brain no longer. The magic of the crown has caused it to evolve. It has become something more - a Netherbrain.”

“Is that why I took up the role of a garden water feature when I tried to dominate it?” The withering looks I get from my companions are severe. I roll my eyes gently and burrow into Gale’s neck a little more. Try coping with this clusterfuck in a reasonable manner. 

“I wouldn’t have used that turn of phrase but- yes. It unleashed the psionic power back on you. You are lucky I pulled you out of there. We nearly lost everything.”

And reality comes crashing down.

[beiasluv]

Imagine being the Beatles’ little sister (+modern au!)

A/N: call me weird if you would 💀 I adore the 20s version of an 80s rocks stars.

Enjoy!

You are probably Paul‘s little sister

The first time that you know your brother is in a band, your mind was blown

How can this silly older brother of yours become a soon-to-be rock star

Of course, your brother was not the one who told you. He would never bring you into this mess.

“Paul, why didn't you tell me you're in a band?” “That's bloody ridiculous and amazing,” you rested your body against the wall.

“Well, you see those lads? They'll bring you to dangerous things that I...don’t want you to get,” he scratched his head.

“Then, why are you hanging out with them?” “Pleasee, just let me see you perform, you don’t want your little sister to see how talented you are?” you give him the puppy’s look.

“I’ll consider it, you bean,” he pats your head.

The bands did not know Paul had a little sister, either. Their minds were blown.

John would tease Paul to date you, but Paul declined heavily.

“Paulie got a little sister?!” John fake gasped.

“You should show her around since you’ll be here for a while,” Ringo wiggled his eyebrows. “Right, George?”

“Uh..yeah”

“Never, she’ll stay far from you lads as long as it is possible.”

“Alright, I say, lads, let’s go have dinner at Paul’s house!” John laughed.

“You Wankers!”

You finally met the Beatles and get along with them pretty well.

John was the one who opened up the most. He’ll talk to you about little things.

Ringo and George need a little time to get used to you.

Meeting with them is like having three more older brothers.

I’ll say… the bug boys’ biggest strength is not schoolwork.

They’ll teach you how to play different instruments. Sometimes, you join in their jam sessions.

George is very passionate about food with you. You are the only one he is happy to share food with.

They are very protective of you, how you dress, and who are you dating.

The Beatles are on tour and, of course, Paul has to drag you along with them with the excuse of “emotional support little sister.”

The boys will fight on the plane for who gets to sits with you.

“She’s my sister, of course, I sit with her!”

“No, you sit with her last time, it's my turn,” John refused.

“No, it's mine,” Ringo walks toward the chair but was taken back by Paul.

“It's okay, lads, I'll sit with George.”

You’ll help out with doing their hair and makeup. (especially for Paul)

“No, y/n, girls will like it like this,” he grabs the brush.

“Come on, Paul, you think I will make my brother look uglier?”

“Of course!” he said. you paused and laughed.

“Okay, okay, at least I want the best for my brother now.” you grab the brush and fix his hair.

“Y/N! help me with my hairr,” John teased.

“Coming!”

Most of the time, you’ll get left out during the after-parties, but George and Ringo will always check on you.

Ringo would dance while sitting with you.

George would sit and comforts you anytime. He’ll make sure to go for Paul after the party for leaving his little sister.

They are bunkers for you to the paparazzis

During one interview, Ringo let out your name and the fans went mad.

Who is this girl’s name they have mentioned?

Paul was quite angry, he intended to keep his sister out of the spotlight as long as he could.

They would receive threats from fans sent directly to the Beatles.

Many “To Y/N”s letters were appearing on your dining table. Paul unknowingly brought it home, for seeing your name, he wished he never did.

At first, you read them and soon you leave them piling on the table.

Some letters appeared at the studio while you were with them.

“Y/n? A letter for you,” George hands you an envelope.

“Oh, just leave it,” your face saddened.

“What’s wrong? You know you can tell me, right?” he holds your shoulder. You shake your head, “Please tell me what’s wrong?”

“They are death threats from the fans, George, they want me dead!” you cried into his chest.

“What?! How come! Ringo!” “It’s alright, dove, we’ll manage this out.”

Ringo apologized to you and in the end, you guys did a group hug.

They cheered you up by burning all the letters together. (ahem, Harry Potter)

In one interview, they decided to end this commotion. Obviously, most of the questions involved who y/n is.

“We’ve received many cards about the name y/n, so who is she?" the interviewer raised his mic.

“She is my sister and I want no more people sending death threats to her.”

“If we found out who you are, you’ll receive a lovely sue from us,” George steals the mic.

“Period,” said John.

modern au!

The Beatles are the meme lords of the time.

Your photo album is filled with their selfies.

You have to teach them how to use Instagram and Twitter.

Your personal tiktok became the Beatles’ tiktok because they are too lazy to create their own and like to steal your phone more.

You’ll dance, and out of nowhere, Ringo or John will join in. Paul and George will take the phone away because they said it's “inappropriate.”

They'll start Instagram lives just to argue with each other

Johnlemon has started an Instagram live with Georgehairyson

The Beatles arguing on Twitter.

“You Wankers!”- Paul Macandcheese. Twitted from iPod

If you like it any interactions would be appreciated, if not critics are open.

Today is a great day to take care of yourself!

[lost-in-the-80s]

The Wedding

Pairing: Izzy Stradlin x fem!reader

Words: 2.321k

Summary: Your brother's wedding has arrived, without having a boyfriend, you invite Izzy, your best friend, to be your date. (smut)

A/N: When I started listening to gnr, it didn’t take much time before Izzy got a place in my heart, so this is for his birthday

Song rec for the fic: Woman by John Lennon

Sitting on an airplane for over an hour now, Izzy observed your asleep figure beside him, your head laying on his shoulder, like you had done so many times before, unaware of the warmth it caused on the brunette’s heart.

He questioned himself for a thousandth time that week. Why in the hell did I agree with this?

The idea didn’t sound like a big deal at first, accompanying you to your brother’s wedding wouldn’t cause any harm. But as the days started to go by, his mind traced every aspect of a wedding, the music, the romantic atmosphere, the dancing, and he soon started to regret having said yes so easily.

The truth is that Izzy has always loved you, ever since the day the two of you met. It all happened so naturally that he didn’t notice he was in love until you went on a date with another guy.

At first, he loved your voice, he’d call you just to hear you talking for hours about the most random things. Then it was your eyes, he found himself entranced by their color, the way they rolled when you got annoyed, and how they seemed to invade his deepest thoughts and memories every time you looked at his eyes.

The last thing was your attitude, your bluntness and forward behavior shocking him sometimes, and being his main entertainment in others. He found a true interest in watching you, it didn’t matter what you were doing, you would always be in his sight.

And even though years passed, that feeling seemed to just grow more and more, and every time he saw you going out with another guy, his heart broke into smaller and smaller pieces.

Little did he know the reason behind your maneater habits.

The truth is that, just like him, you had fallen for him since day one, you loved his nonchalant attitude and his style, the shape of his hands and fingers, and how dry his voice was after his third cigarette.

Just like him, you would secretly observe him, the two of you being too good on your game to ever get caught by each other.

But you didn’t want to risk your friendship over admitting your feelings, especially when you didn’t know if Izzy felt the same way. So you went on multiple dates, meeting guys with the most different appearances and personalities, all in hopes that one day, you’d meet someone capable of making you stop thinking about the guy from Indiana. That, obviously, never happened.

A little turbulence on the plane woke you up, you immediately looked up, meeting his brownish eyes.

“It’s just turbulence. Go back to sleep.”

You nodded slowly, before laying your head on his shoulder again, inhaling his scent of cigarettes and cologne and immediately feeling your body calm down.

---

You looked at yourself in the mirror of the hotel room, rolling your eyes at Niki's choice of color and design for the bridesmaids' dresses.

A soft knock on the door caught your attention and there stood him, a black blazer matching his black jeans.

He looked you up and down.

"You're gonna steal the bride's attention like that."

"It's grey, the most boring color ever! I wouldn't steal her attention, even if I wanted to."

He chuckled softly.

Well, you stole my attention. He thought to himself.

Picking up your purse and gift you exited the room, locking your arm with his for support, as you got on the elevator and then walked towards the hotel's saloon.

---

During the entire ceremony, Izzy found his attention caught by you, the way you stood out amongst the other bridesmaids and how impatient you seemed to grow with how long the ceremony was taking.

Your grey dress looked like pure silver, reflecting the lights. You looked so beautiful that he wished he had brought a camera to take a picture of you.

Your eyes caught his for once, and you blinked in his direction, smiling when you saw his lips turn into a small smile.

After what felt like forever the ceremony ended and he found himself sitting at a table with “Y/N and boyfriend” written down on a card.

“I think someone gave them the wrong info.” He showed you the card when you plopped down on the chair beside him.

You rolled your eyes. “Classic coming from my family.”

You lifted the tablecloth, making him look down to see what was happening.

“These heels are killing me.” You complained, removing your silver sandals and quickly massaging your feet.

“I bet they are.” He took two champagne glasses from a waiter passing by.

He knew you weren’t used to heels. Being almost his height, you never felt the need to wear them that often.

“Thanks.” You took your glass towards your nude lips.

“How much did you pay for that gift?” He pointed towards the biggest package on a pile, knowing it was yours.

“300 bucks.”

His eyes widened for a second.

You didn’t wait for him to say anything, knowing exactly what was crossing his mind.

“He’s my only brother. I might not like Niki that much, but he’s happy with her, and I’m happy for that.”

“Fair enough.” He drank from his champagne again. "Those ice statutes are quite tempting for a man who wants to take a piss,"

He chuckled to himself, but soon realized that your attention was focused on the main door.

“See that girl over there?” You pointed at the door.

“What’s with her?”

“That’s Braeden,” the name made him realize she was your sister. “She’s the only woman taller than me here….”

He looked back at you, and so you lowered your voice, keeping eye contact with him.

“When the bouquet time comes, you’re gonna block her.” You gestured aggressively with your hands, making a smile start to form on his lips.

“Why?”

“There’s no way my younger sister is gonna get married before me.”

He chuckled. “I didn’t know you aspired to marriage Y/N.”

Your eyes softened with his sentence and a small pain formed in your heart. If only he knew what crossed your mind when you looked at him during the ceremony.

---

The night seemed to go by faster than he expected and soon he found himself at the drinks table, observing as you talked to some relatives of yours on the other side of the saloon.

You sensed his eyes and looked towards him, giving him a look that said “Help me.”

He chuckled softly, but before he could do anything a woman’s voice caught his attention.

“You must be Izzy.”

He looked to his side, seeing a woman that looked just like Joey, your brother.

“Yes, and you are….” He extended his hand for her to shake.

“I’m Martha, Y/N’s mother.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“I didn’t know the two of you were dating.”

He choked on his drink.

“We aren’t, we’re just friends.” He looked down for a second.

She nodded slowly, before locking her eyes on your side.

“I know my daughter very well,"

Her voice made him look back at her.

“She has had many boyfriends in her life, but I’ve never seen her look at them in the way she looks at you.”

He opened his mouth, but your presence made him stop.

“Hey, mom!” You smiled, kissing her cheek.

“Hello, darling.” She touched your hair, adjusting some locks. “I promised I'd dance this one with your father.”

You nodded in understanding as she smiled before walking away.

“So… wanna dance with me?” You nudged him from the side, before taking a sip from his drink.

“With this song?” He asked, taking notice that Woman by John Lennon was playing.

“Why not?” You shrugged.

“Okay.” He placed his now empty glass on the table before taking your hand and guiding you towards the other people there dancing.

One of his hands held you delicately by your waist as you slowly swung to the song. Your eyes locked on each other as the other people around you seemed to disappear.

Your mother’s words mixed with the lyrics hitting his head like bells as he finally noticed the glow that formed in your eyes as you looked at him, making his heart race faster than ever.

You just realized another song was playing when someone bumped into you, making a disco song hit your ears.

You both looked so distracted and for a second you thought you’d sit down for the rest of the night, not being able to feel his cold fingers brush on your skin through your dress.

But those thoughts washed away when he let go of your waist just to grab both of your hands and guide you throughout the song, just like he did for the rest of the night.

That was the happiest night you have had in your life, and when your hotel room number became noticeable at the end of the corridor, you wished you could turn back time and do it all again.

“Happy with your bouquet?”

“More than happy.” You giggled, smelling the flowers one more time.

It was comic the way Izzy put himself in front of your sister, pretending not to be aware of what was happening.

“Thanks for that.”

“If that makes you happy, I can do that at the next weddings too.”

Next weddings. The thought made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“So…” he started, stopping in front of your room as you opened the door.

“So…”

“Tonight was fun.”

“Yes, it really was!” You said looking down. “Thanks for coming with me, Iz.” You leaned towards him, kissing his cheek gently.

“Anytime.” He replied so lowly that you weren’t sure if he had actually said that.

You entered your room and closed the door, resting your forehead against it as you sighed.

Rushed knocks against the wood made you regain your posture and quickly open the door.

Izzy looked deep inside your eyes, his brown orbs saying everything his mouth wanted to.

Not a second after that and you wrapped your arms around his neck, your lips colliding against his.

No kiss ever had felt like that. It was warm like fire and exciting, you felt your heart start racing faster and your mind went numb.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you as close as he could while entering your room and kicking the door shut behind him.

Soon you found yourself in your bed, your legs wrapped around his hips as your tongues fought for dominance, making small moans and grunts leave your mouths. One of his hands started traveling underneath your dress's fabric, exploring every inch of your legs, making you shiver with his cold fingers.

Your lips found his neck, kissing and biting at his flesh with desire, delighted by his irregular breathing and the small moans he tried to hold.

A certain hardness was pressed against your core among what seemed like a thousand layers of clothing. The sensation making you wet as you bit harsher on his neck, loving the smirk that formed on his lips.

He pushed himself off of you, standing up and ripping his shirt open, the sound of buttons hitting the floor filling the room.

“I need your help with the dress.”

You sat on the bed, your back facing him as he found the zipper, opening it quickly while he applied wet kisses on the extension of your back, biting your flesh just like you had done with him, making a small moan leave your lips.

“So beautiful.” He whispered against your ear, making another shiver possess your body.

You stripped off of the dress as you watched him undo his pants and remove his underwear with it.

He made his way back to the bed, his calloused fingers removed your blue lace panties slowly and delicately. One of his fingers traveled in between your folds, his eyes closing for a second when he noticed your wetness for him.

Izzy cupped your face with one of his hands, kissing you tenderly before asking.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

You felt the tip of his member entering you, making you close your eyes, focusing on the sensation it caused. You felt him slowly expanding your walls until it was all the way in, making a soft and small moan leave your lips.

Izzy looked at you for confirmation and after seeing you nod, he started moving.

In the beginning, it was slow and passionate, he made it the most intimate he could, touching every inch of your skin, whispering sweet nothings on your ear, as you traced his back and arms with the tip of your fingers, allowing your nails to softly touch his skin.

After some minutes, sweat started to form on both your bodies, your moans coming out in unison filled the room as you felt your walls start to clench around him.

That’s when he sped up his pace, the tip of his member now hitting your g-spot with no mercy, he massaged one of your breasts with his hand, while the other rested on the bed for support.

“Izzy,” His name left your lips in a loud moan and you saw a proud expression consume his features.

“I know, princess, I know.”

You closed your eyes and moaned again, feeling as you and he both came at the same time. A groan leaving his throat matching your whimpers as you felt a wave of pure pleasure wash over your body. Your legs started to shake and you scratched his back, while he bit harsh enough to leave a mark on your neck.

Both sweating and trying to gain your breath again, you laid in bed, your head resting on his chest as he softly caressed your body.

“Izzy?”

“Hum?”

“This is not a one-time thing, right?”

“No, Y/N, it is not.”

Thanks for reading <3

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[sofoulandfairaday]

The ultimate How I Met Your Mother Finale rant

I know this has been done before, and I know I'm several years late to the party, but I don't care, so IN THIS ESSAY I WILL tell you about why this finale takes the spot as the second-worst finale in TV show history (because Game of Thrones is still, to this day, unbeatable, and it will probably stay like that forever). 

But first, a little context: I've just finished binge-watching HIMYM. This binge has been going on for three days straight (my final exam of the semester is in a week and I should be studying, so the fact that the last few days were a partial waste of time makes me so mad). Second thing: I already knew how it would end, and yes, kids, it does ruin the show for you. It ruins the show so much it makes your blood boil when you rewatch certain scenes, but I will get to that. 

You might want to make yourself a drink because this is a complete list of all the reasons why HIMYM's finale sucks - I'm warning you, it's gonna be looong.

It completely invalidates the entirety of season 9

This is one of the complaints people most often have with this series, and I have to agree. It would have been so much better if the last two episodes never existed, and they just showed Barney and Robin dancing at the reception after walking out of the chapel, Ted noticing Tracy and then the platform scene. "And that, kids, is the story of how I met your mother". Cut scene. Honestly, I don't get the hate people give to season 9, barring the last 2/3 episodes, especially since season 8 was so much worse (except for a few honourable mentions, like The Robin). S8 was slower, less funny, and less deep, and while the authors took a risk by making s9 happen in the span of a weekend it paid off: they took their time introducing the character of the Mother to the gang and fleshing her out. They make sure to highlight all the little ways in which Ted and Tracy are perfect for each other, and even tie up loose ends, like with the Slapsgiving episode, that was a filler but it wasn't boring to watch (although it may be problematic for different reasons, I'm not Chinese, so I can't say for sure if it's cultural appropriation or just the authors making fun of a particular movie genre). 

Some episodes were arguably great: "Daisy" was amazing, and that whole fight between Marshall and Lily was so realistic and well thought out, "Sunrise" was extremely important for Ted's character development, same goes for Tracy and "How Your Mother Met Me", "Bedtime stories" was impressive, "Rally" was incredibly funny and proved once again what a beautiful character Barney Stinson is, so much so that even Robin never has doubts that he (the guy with the biggest commitment issues on the planet) will bail on her before the wedding, and says to Ted that "he always comes back". Daphne's character is super funny and the right amount of annoying, the shenanigans of the gang are well thought out and all of the characters (not just Barney) complete their arc in this season. The last two/three episodes butcher that.

Marshall and Lily

Marshall and Lily, arguably the world's most solid couple, are the only thing this God-awful finale gets right, especially Marshall, who is my second-favourite character, that finally gets everything he deserves. But what about Lily? They never mention her career after Italy, and I refuse to believe she goes back to being a kindergarten teacher as if her year in Rome meant nothing. I also refuse to think she becomes nothing but a political wife, the equivalent of Zoey, but without saving the world. We know she has three kids, but her postpartum depression is never really talked about much and they definitely had the screentime to delve into it. 

Barney

 Where do I even begin? Barney Stinson is, without a doubt, the best character in this series, the glue of the whole gang. I think the message they were trying to give is that, since his trauma stemmed from the absence of a father figure in his life, he could only truly heal by becoming a father as well. People also say that n°31 had to stay just a number, because who could match up with Barney Stinson? First of all, I call BULSHIT on that last point, because Robin wasn't the only girl Barney could have ended up marrying. I used to think that too, but it's just not true: that is the equivalent of saying that Barney was incapable to truly love a woman and commit to her, even after all the development he got, and that he only got one shot at love in life, and that's it. This goes against the point the showrunners try to make by having Ted and Robin end up together AND by having Tracy get with Ted in the first place: "it's never too late, you always have another chance at love, etc." And, let's face it, Barney and Robin are legendary, but Barney and Nora (hell, even Barney and Quinn!) were pretty good together too. 

Second of all, if they wanted to give Barney a kid, they could have easily done that, before Barney married Robin. Barney's "redemption" starts when he gets with Robin the first time, hell maybe even when we meet James for the first time: Nora, Quinn, finding out who his father is, the episode dedicated to the lies his mum told him/finding James' father, him getting to know his own dad, etc... those are all steps along the way. The s9 episode where Barney accepts the relationship between Loretta and the reverend proves how far he's come. So why not give him a daughter BEFORE he proposes to Robin? Have him cheat on Nora/Quinn with n°31, giving him a relapse, and having him get closer to Robin while struggling to be a dad to Ellie. That would have been great. 

Or, you know, don't give him children. What's the point of burning the Playbook if you're going to have him write the second edition? What's the point of having him do a complete 180 in the last few scenes and acting like having a kid is the only thing that makes him change? What's the point of doing that when the show spends entire episodes berating Marshall and Lily for "changing too much" when they have a kid?

Also, Barney is the "challenge accepted" guy. He loves his wife so much, he spent years wanting her, and then he gives up because there is no WiFi in his hotel. How does that make any sense at all? This is Barney Stinson, the "I will fly out to San Francisco and buy Lily a plane ticket", the "I will steal every girl from my best friend just to save him for Lily", the guy that wrote the Playbook (it takes effort to pull those plays off), the guy that planned for weeks his proposal, the guy that waited years to get back at the man who stole his first girlfriend, the guy that makes every night legendary... are you telling me that that guy becomes the equivalent of a bored housewife instead of living his best life while travelling the world? Come on. They don't even try to make it believable.

Ted

While watching seasons 7 and 8, I felt that Ted was becoming the worst character on the show: he was boring, depressed, basically had no good storylines, the whole thing with Victoria was pointless and inconclusive (and the whole "stop being in love with Robin" was completely out of character for her), but whatever, we could have accepted that because it passed the message that two people could be good together, without being soulmates - which, by the way, renders the TedxRobin ship pointless, because they were right for each other, but Ted and Tracy were soulmates. Him being hung up on Robin in the latter seasons is almost pathetic, and the thing he does with the locket is insane, not romantic - BUT I will say this: it can be seen in two ways, depending on who's watching. I personally like the two as friends, so I see the whole thing as a "Dahmer" situation, but I get the people who see it as a "Dobler" one and see what he did as a grand romantic gesture. 

The problem, though, is that the whole TedxRobin ship gets pretty old, pretty fast: it's an annoying on-and-off thing, that should have ended with the locket. Because, yes, Ted was in a dark moment, yes, he was probably depressed, yes, he thought Robin was his only shot at happiness, but he changes during season nine! He spends entire episodes letting go of Robin, including the one where she transforms into a balloon and flies away. Ted is the good guy, ultimately. He is the guy that is genuinely happy for his best friends. In one of the deleted scenes from the finale, he meets Robin years later and says that he's so happy with Tracy he never thought about Robin in that way anymore. All of that gets thrown in the trash. Why do that? To use a Harry Potter metaphor, Ted is Severus Snape, while Barney is James Potter: the former loved the girl of his dreams with all his heart, even to the point of creepiness, but they weren't meant to be together. 

Robin

This, along with the next point, is the worst of all: Robin is the worst character of the entire finale. Her relationship with Ted in season 2 is wonderful, and I say that as a full-on Barney/Robin shipper. There was never a problem in their relationship, apparently, but they then break up because they have an "expiration date" and ultimately want different things in life. Except that Ted is not her soulmate. The only times when Robin wants Ted are the times where (1) she can't have him because he's either trying to move on or (2) the times where it's convenient, for example when they become roommates again and they solve their disputes again. Around that time, we see perfectly that Ted had moved on and that the person getting hurt was Barney. It's one thing to see Ted and Robin in the finale as two people picking up where they had left off after they dated. But this is not the case. 

In season 7, we have the exchange that should have put an end to any and all TedxRobin drama, and that completely invalidates whatever the writers wrote after that about the two of them: Ted declares his love - "I think you know how you feel about me now. I don't think time's gonna change that. Just tell me: do you love me?" To which she answers "No". And Ted also says later to Marshall, that he's "happy because he can finally move on". 

What a load of crap. 

Getting over someone is hard, believe me, I would know. And, oftentimes, it doesn't happen until we find someone else to love (and from the moment he meets Tracy, there is no one else for Ted). But by giving Ted feelings for Robin after this moment, it takes away from the beauty of it- because it's one of the most heartbreaking feelings in the world when you declare your love to someone and they don't love you back. Ted and Robin were both honest at that moment, and it was the last genuinely good exchange between them. After that, during season 8 they try to show us Ted trying to get over her (and failing) and in season 9 Ted getting over her completely. This is also weirdly paced because at the beginning of s8 both are in happy relationships with other people and there's no jealousy (which is good, because at least they weren't toxic) and they seem just friends (when Robin leaves Nick to go see him in the middle of the night, she implies that she would do it for any of her friends), but after Ted breaks up with Veronica because of Robin everything is weirdly coated in this sort of tension between the two: first Ted loves her, but she doesn't, so when he helps her by taking her to Barney's proposal ("which means my best bro in the world has given me his blessing"). 

And, by the way, every time they try to paint Ted as the guy that comes through for Robin after this moment, they dumb down Barney's character. And still fail to make Ted a better guy than him (see: the carousel in Central Park). 

Yes, Robin and Ted have some chemistry, but it is nothing compared to what Robin and Barney have. Every time Robin is jealous of Barney, it doesn't seem like a stupid whim, just because some other child is playing with her toys (except, perhaps, during The Robin). Robin and Barney's relationship would need a whole other post, and the next time I rewatch the series I will write down all the things that make them perfect for each other, but, to me, the biggest difference between the two relationships is this: in season 6, when she's not dating either one of them, Ted accuses Robin of never making him feel needed while they were together, whereas Barney praises her for it. Those are elective affinities: that's what Barney and Robin have, and what Tracy and Ted have. 

Barney and Robin have more or less the same arc: they both get over their fear of commitment and they do that with each other. Time and time again, we are told that if they're ever going to settle down, it would only be with the other. The first time they break up is honestly so stupid, and even when they are broken up, they are the best of friends, which also makes Robin's behaviour in the finale look so stupid. The way the two of them fit together is unparalleled, both in a romantic and a platonic way. 

Think about it: Robin makes Barney a better man, while she makes Ted a worse one. 

Also, the whole point that there are different seasons in life for everything gets thrown out the window: apparently, Ted and Robin (that were a couple that ultimately worked in their young twenties) are the same people in their forties.

But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that the two final episodes butcher Robin's arc as well: episode 23 starts with Lily saying "I want this girl to be in our lives" and we know Robin never made other friends outside of the gang, because she didn't need to, and now she walks away from everything because of fucking Ted?? This is saying "hey, Robin was only in the group for Ted, who brought her in, and now she leaves because he's not her puppy anymore". Robin was the one that was eternally indecisive between Ted and Barney and you're telling me that three years and many many life experiences later, she's still not sure? 

The point of her story is learning how to get over her fear of commitment, learning how to be there for her friends (there's an entire episode dedicated to that, and it's the one where Lily's pregnant and we meet Robin's ex-best friend in Canada), and how to balance her job and her life. Also, the way her character is treated is un-feminist and un-progressive: she becomes Ted's consolation prize. She is passive throughout s9. She cannot, ultimately, win the modern-day struggle most women have and balance out career and love life, so her true life, her "happy chapter" begins after she has already accomplished everything she wanted to and she's free for Ted. She doesn't even go back to him, she just the prize the main character wanted for all his life and only got in the end because his wife died (ONE SCENE, people, ONE SCENE!). Also, this makes Tracy the "broodmare" that gives him the kids he wanted, and his "happy family" experience before he goes to be with his one true love. 

The mother

This. This makes me so mad. One whole season spent on building up Tracy's character, just for it to go to waste. It would have been so easy to screw her up, but she is hands down the best thing about s9. She's the perfect woman for Ted and the episode shot through her perspective is the sweetest. By the end, I liked her more than Robin and Lily. She was the perfect addition to their group, she fit together with them in a perfect way, and they show us the biggest moment of her and Ted's life... for what? To have her die in a few sentences? And I don't care if they shot a funeral scene, I don't care if the finale was supposed to be 40 minutes long, because, in the end, it wasn't. The scene where Ted meets her is the second most beautiful one (after Barney's proposal to Robin) and the climax of the whole show, but they ruin her... and for what? The chemistry Ted has with her, he has with no one. The joy she brings him, the way she understands him, is unlike any other. I am sure that one of the reasons they killed her off was the shock value and I hate it. 

I cannot stress this enough: Tracy makes Ted a better person. When he's with Robin, Ted is "the nice guy" in the most selfish and narcissistic version of the trope. When he's with Tracy, love comes easy to Ted. Also, the scenes between the two of them are arguably the best Ted scenes of the show.

The kids' reactions (ugh)

It's not really what they say- it's the way they say it. The end of HIMYM was not supposed to be funny, even though the show is a sitcom. It was supposed to be bittersweet and beautiful, because it's the end of an era, and the writers must have known that. So, Ted finishes telling his story, reveals to the audience that their now-beloved Tracy is dead, and the reaction is: "No, ahah, you totally have the hots for Aunt Robin" (their words, not mine). Like, what the actual fuck? I cringed when Penny said that. It's tasteless and not fun at all. Even if it has been six years... It's still your fucking mum, show a little bit of sadness at the thought of her. 

The reason the show ended this way

What makes me especially mad is that I know for a fact that the reason they went with this ending is that it was the original one, always intended for the show, from season 2 onwards. And, if you watch it right after s2, it makes sense. But if you consider the eight years that passed and the massive character development, then no, it's not the best possible one. So many things hadn't been decided yet back in s2, especially about Barney, Ted, and Robin, and I hate that they didn't dare to scrap their work. This ending probably had sentimental meaning to the writers, but authors have to do what's best for their characters, not themselves. It's like with GoT, in a way: I think that the authors were all too aware of the impact of HIMYM and didn't believe that their finale would live up to the expectations... which compelled them to make the worst decision possible?? Every single character is OOC during the episode. Oh, and Marshall and Lily moving in the last episode is a ripoff from Friends (or maybe a tribute? Idk). Anyway, I believe that the authors were too attached to their sentimental version of "what should have been" and didn't give the characters the endings they truly deserved.

"Life works this way" // "Life only moves forward"

Some people say that the show is realistic because that's how life works. But I call super-BS on that. That might be true, and yes, people do get sick and die (Max, Marshall's dad...) and life does go on. But then, you don't frame it the way they did. It's just bad storytelling if you do it like that. And the problem is not the structure of season 9, because the characters develop in that season. The problem isn't even the mother's death. The problem is Ted ending up with Robin because that's not life moving forward for him, that's him, doing the same thing he did in 2005, 25 (twenty-fucking-five) years before! 

In conclusion, this finale is incoherent and inconclusive, and not satisfying at all. The only character that gets a good ending is Marshall: why is that? What makes his ending great? It's the fact that his character arc is respected and he finally gets what he's been working towards for more than ten years.

[hstyleshoney]

Luck On Tour

A/N: Soo, this is my little thing for @oh-honey-styles​ HSFICSLAM 2 challenge. I’ve been struggling to write something for a while now and this kind of just caught my attention because it seemed like fun. It’s nothing too serious or fancy. Just a little bit of fun. If one person enjoys it then I’m happy, bc I just had a good time writing again. 

Let me know your thoughts, it would mean a lot!!! xx 

WC: 2.7K // a cheesy story about good luck charms and love 

“You’re jealous aren’t you?”

“What?” 

You blinked and turned around to glance at Charlotte who was looking at you with a smug smile. She raised her eyebrows knowingly and nodded her head in the direction you had just been glaring.

“I told you this was gonna happen.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you told her, taking a deep breath, before forcing a strangled laugh from your chest. “Why would I be jealous?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Charlotte hummed and tapped her chin, pretending to be deep in thought before continuing. “Maybe because you two have been sleeping together for a couple of weeks now and you won’t admit it’s more than a ‘friends with benefits’ type of thing.”

You opened your mouth to tell her she was wrong, but Charlotte stopped you by putting her hand up and adding; “And now you’ve been glaring at poor Rosie for the last ten minutes for doing his hair - which, you know, is her job.”  

“I have not.”

“Sure,” she chuckled mockingly and pressed her lips together to stop herself from grinning. “If you say so.”

Instead of replying you turned around to look at Harry again. He sat across the room from you, getting ready for the last and final show of his tour, with Rosie standing in front of him. Your eyes went to her hands as she ran her fingers through his brown hair and twirled his locks around her fingers to give him a little more definition.

And you had no reason to be jealous - but maybe you were? Just a little bit. Just the tiniest little bit jealous.

Because you now knew just how soft his hair was and that morning you had been the one to soothingly run your hands through it as he rested his head on your chest, cuddling up to you and holding you close.

Still, you really shouldn’t be jealous, because Rosie was only doing her job as his hairstylist and there was absolutely no reason for you to be jealous. None. Nada. Zero.

But then there was also that interviewer who, in your opinion, sat way too close to him and touched his arm a little too often. Laughing and flirting with him like no one else was around. It left a sour taste in your mouth, although you would never admit that outloud. Especially not to Charlotte.

It was only supposed to be a bit of fun. It was never supposed to get to this point. You were only supposed to be the tour photographer. Harry had liked the pictures you had taken of him during one of his Jingle Bell Ball performances a while back. And when his regular photographer wasn’t able to join him on the North American part of his tour, due to a conflict in her schedule, his team reached out and asked if you were available.

You were.

So a couple weeks later you were on a plane, traveling across the Atlantic, and ended up befriending one of the world's biggest pop stars.

How you ended up naked in his bed after the show in Chicago was still something you were trying to figure out.

It kind of just... happened.

One of the crew members had turned 40 and Harry had arranged a big birthday party for him after the show. You weren’t supposed to be working but you couldn’t stop yourself from pulling out your camera, the moment was there and you wanted to capture everyone's good spirits. Harry came up to you, a plate of cake in one hand and a drink in the other, forcing you to take it from him and telling you to put the camera away and have some fun.

One drink turned into another, and another turned into a third, and the third turned into a shot of tequila. It was all just downhill from there.

As the night went on you found yourself being drawn closer to Harry and when his fingers danced across the skin on your thigh you knew there was no going back. An hour later you stumbled into his hotel room, and his hands and lips were all over you as you ripped his shirt from his body before the door was even fully closed behind you.

The next morning you woke up with a raging headache and a belly full of regret because it was terribly unprofessional of you to sleep with the artist you were supposed to be working for. You were sure you were going to be told to pack your bags and go back home.

Of course that didn’t happen and Harry was nothing but sweet. He ordered both of you breakfast and let you sleep off your hangover in his bed while he got himself ready for the day.

Then it kind of just became a thing, because life on the road could be a little lonely and your pink vibrator wasn’t always enough.

It didn't bring you the same warmth Harry did.

And he didn’t seem to mind sharing a bed with you either, even if he sometimes complained about your cold toes rubbing against his legs.

So, really, who were you to say no?

But perhaps you should’ve because now the tour was coming to an end and you had no idea where the two of you stood and the uncertainty of it all was making you jealous of his hairstylist touching him - not ideal.

Which was why you decided to remove yourself from the situation and went to get your camera ready instead. You found yourself a quiet spot in a small corner next to the stage and tried to ignore the immature thoughts about Harry and Rosie running through your mind.

You shouldn't be jealous. It was stupid. Besides you and Harry weren’t anything exclusive. Sure, he made your heart beat twice as fast and made you feel things you had only ever read about in novels before, but you hadn’t told him any of that yet.

And you weren’t really sure how to tell him any of that. 

Should you even tell him?

Telling him would make it real and what if he didn’t feel the same... that would certainly be the end of whatever was going on between the two of you. 

But it was possible that the end of the tour also represented the end of the two of you, so, maybe you didn’t even have anything to lose by telling him?

You groaned to yourself and ran a hand over your face in frustration, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to drown out your thoughts with the sound from all the screaming fans in the already full-packed arena. The anticipation was high and usually it made your whole body itch with excitement as well, there was just so much love and adoration going around for one person. It was impossible to not be part of it, but tonight it only made your belly twist with anxiety.

You were going to miss it. The loud crowds. The anticipation. The joy radiating off of everyone in the arenas. The ringing in your ears as you got into bed hours later. The sparkle in Harry’s eyes as he looked through the pictures you’d taken and saw the happy faces of his fans.

You were going to miss him. Harry.

It was one of the reasons you hadn’t asked him how he felt about the two of you. If he turned around and said that your late night rendezvous was only a bit of fun while you were on the road... Well, it was something you weren’t ready to hear just yet.

Fuck.

It was also at that exact moment that Harry decided to show up, only a couple minutes before he was due to go out on stage.

“There you are,” he called out when he spotted you, your green trousers and matching striped blazer making you stand out from your little hideout in the dark corner. You watched as he said something to Jeff before making his way over to you. “Been lookin’ for ya for bloody ages - thought I’d have to go on stage without a goodluck from my little ladybug.”

You tried your best to ignore the way your whole body tingled from his little nickname for you; a nickname that started after he noticed the small little ladybug ring you always wore on your right index finger. You had had it since you were twelve and you just couldn’t get rid of it. Ever since you first saw it in the small thrift shop in your hometown it had been your good luck charm.

And once Harry asked about it and learned that you wore it every single day for good luck, he decided it was also the reason why the North American tour had been going so well and didn’t go on stage before you had wished him a good show.

“Well, here I am.”

Harry frowned and stopped in his tracks. You couldn’t look at him, the high waisted trousers and sparkling suit jacket he was wearing made your already racing heart beat even faster.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just getting ready,”  you muttered and nodded down to the camera in your hands. You didn’t mean to sound so bitter but the words fell from your lips before you could stop yourself. “Are you all set for the last show then? Maybe you should go find Rosie again to make sure the hair is good.”

You regretted it as soon as you said it, your cheeks turning hot as the last phrase slipped from your tongue.

That was stupid.

His eyes burned through your skin and you knew there was no way he was going to let your snide little remark go. Stupid stupid stupid.

For a moment you contemplated just making a run for it so you could hide in the lively crowd for the whole show and then simply just disappear into the night, so you wouldn’t ever have to look Harry Styles in the eyes ever again.

But something stopped you.

A low, almost inaudible, chuckle fell from the man in front of you and you glanced up at him just as his lips curled into a small smirk, his dimple appearing on his cheek, and you felt your face grow even hotter. “Don’t look at me like that.” 

Harry held his hands up innocently.

“I’m not looking at you in any way,” he said, still smirking, and let his tongue poke out to lick his pink lips.

“Yes, you are! I don’t like that-” you started and waved your finger at him, “Whatever it is you're doing with your face.”

“Are you jealous?” Harry asked, ignoring your frustrated little stomp, and took a step closer to you.

“What? No, don’t be ridiculous,” you said, taking a shaky breath and a step backwards away from him, making both of you disappear in the shadows of the dark corner where you had previously been hiding as he followed and continued to come closer.

“You are, aren’t you?”

“I’m not.”

“It’s fine if you are.”

“You really need to stop or I’ll only snap pictures of you from your worst angles tonight.”

Not that he really had any bad angles but that was beside the point. It was absolutely infuriating how he could see right through you so easily.

Harry laughed and took one final step forward, trapping you between his body and the wall. His familiar perfume washed over you and you wanted to bathe in it forever. He always smelled so damn good, and for a moment you forgot about your childish behavior from a couple seconds ago and let yourself get lost in the green of his eyes

“You know you have nothing to be jealous of, right?” Harry told you and reached out to push a strand of your hair away from your face. His fingers gently brushed across the apple of your cheek, making your heart flutter and head fuzzy. He was no longer smirking at you but his lips were still turned upwards. Instead of the smug smirk he was now looking down at you with a soft smile - the same smile you had gotten so used to seeing first thing in the morning, and you were sure you wouldn’t mind if you got to see it every morning for the rest of your life.

“Do I?” you breathed out nervously. 

“Well, when we’re back in London I'm gonna make sure to finally take you on a proper date and-”

“What?”

You didn’t mean to cut him off. It just took you completely off guard and the words fell from your lips before you could think twice about it. “You want to take me out on a date in London?”

That caught him a little off guard.

“Oh,” Harry faltered a little and scratched the back of his neck. For the first time there was a hint of nervousness across his otherwise confident features. “I kind of just assumed we would, eh, we don’t have to- I mean if you, um- if you don’t- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to continue things back home.”

And you probably really should’ve said something then, but you were at a loss for words. It was the first time either of you had ever mentioned something about seeing each other after the tour was done. You finally had an answer to the question that had swirled around in your head for days and had created the uncertainty and jealousy in the first place. Just like that.

You had spent all day trying to decide whether you should tell him your feelings for him had changed and admit you wanted to see him more, and there he was -- already planning for your first official date.

You really needed to say something.

But someone else beat you to it.

“H!” It was Jeff. “You’ve got less than a minute until you have to get on stage, c’mon!”

Harry turned around and gave his friend a thumbs up, to let him know he had heard him, before he looked down at you again.

“Alright, duty calls I guess,” he said and gave you a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Again, I’m sorry.”

And you knew you had to say something because you couldn’t let him do his final show thinking you didn’t actually want to continue seeing him. Especially when it was the opposite of what you wanted.

“Wait,” you burst out and reached for his hand to stop him from leaving. “I do. I do want to see you.”

Harry’s dimple made another appearance and there was so much more you wanted to say to him. You wanted to tell him how thankful you were to have met him. How happy he made you. How safe you felt in his company. How you could always be yourself around him. How he actually had no right to complain about your cold feet because his own were even colder.

But Jeff beat you again.

“Harry!” He shouted. “Get your ass over here!”

“We probably shouldn’t talk about this right now,” Harry chuckled and pulled you a little closer, his hand still in yours.

“Probably not,” you mumbled and watched as Harry ran his fingers over your dainty little ladybug ring, before lifting your hand to his mouth and pressing a soft kiss to it. His warm lips lingered for a couple seconds on your skin and you could have melted into a puddle right there and then.

“Wish me luck then,” he smiled, his lips still brushing against the skin on top of your hand.  

“You don’t need it.”

“Shhh, don’t ruin it now,” he shushed and shook his head lightly. “S’the last show. I need my ladybug luck.”

“If you need your ladybug luck,” you began quietly and pulled your hand away from his. Harry pouted and reached for your hand to have the little ladybug on your ring between you again, but you were quicker and put your arm around his waist. “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

A grin broke out across his face and he didn’t waste any time before pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss that filled your belly with butterflies. Warmth consumed your whole body as you leaned into the kiss and Harry smiled against your lips. You really could’ve stayed in that moment forever.

“Harry!”

Jeff called his name again.

Harry let out an excessive sigh as he broke your kiss and leaned his forehead against yours. His breath warm on your face and as he pressed his lips to yours again in a short peck you realised you were still smiling as well. 

Then he was off to do his final show. 

And despite the thousands of ear piercing screams that filled the arena as he entered the stage the sweet little “Good luck” you shouted after him was the loudest one. 

.

<3 

[dreamescapeswriting]

Graduation Party ~ MYG [Request]

WORD COUNT: 1.1K

PAIRING: Yoongi x reader

GENRE: fluffy, graduation party, cute yoongi,

A/N: I’m sorry its so short! But congratulations on graduating again!!! 

Yoongi knew he wasn't going to be able to attend your graduation ceremony so he was planning something big. He didn't want you to have to go to your ceremony alone and then to some boring party so he was going to do something for you. Everything had been in the works for weeks and he was finally ready for you to come to the studios. 

"She's on her way up, tell everyone to hide," Yoongi told Namjoon as he looked down at the photograph you had just sent to Yoongi. Standing in your gap and gown holding your diploma with the biggest smile on your face. All those years of studying and exams finally paying off and making you happy, even Yoongi felt as though he had accomplished something. With all those late nights of helping you study he was sure he could have taken the test too. The boys began hiding around the dance studio while your friends and family hid around the room. 

Those who knew about your relationship with Yoongi had been invited weeks ago, he wanted this to be something special. As far as you knew, no one could come to see you graduate because they had conflicting schedules.

"I'll go and meet her," Yoongi whispered to Jungkook, heading out of the door and toward the elevators. Doing his best to act as though he wasn't super excited to get you into the dance studio. 

"There she is! My graduate!" He yelled the moment the doors opened, you practically screamed rushing over to him and hugging him tightly. All you had wanted to do that day was hug him, hold him and never let go. 

"I did it," You whispered as he kissed your shoulder, rubbing your back softly as he continued to hold you in the hallway. Ignoring the looks he was getting from the other staff members in the room. 

"I'm so proud of you baby," He smiled as you pulled back, looking up at him as he took your face in his hands. Running his thumb along your cheek as tears began to run down then. You weren't always so emotional but hearing Yoongi tell you that he was proud of you for this made you feel it. All of your hard work had finally paid off and you were leaving University with a degree and a happy life.

"I wasn't the-" You were going to say the best in your class but Yoongi shook his head, not wanting to hear anything negative fall from your mouth. 

"You did the best you could! That's all you can ask for," He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, walking in the direction of the dance studio with you.

"I just need to get my bag and we can go for dinner." That was the lie Yoongi had convinced you of. That the two of you were going to go for dinner together that night in a small family-run restaurant. 

"Sure," You mumbled taking off your cap and gown, rolling them up in your arms to reveal the dress you had picked out that morning. Yoongi took one look at you and smiled happily, wearing your favourite coloured dress and you looked beautiful. To Yoongi you would always look beautiful but tonight there was a glow to you that made you more beautiful.

"Why are all the lights out?" You mumbled flicking the switch on the side of the wall when someone suddenly jumped up making you scream out in surprise. 

"SURPRISE!" Jungkook screamed blowing a noisemaker right next to your ear making you whimper a little. Tears gushing up in your eyes as you turned to look at everyone in the room, each and every one of them clapping for you. 

"I thought you were all busy," You sniffled looking at your family members who were smirking at you. 

"You think we would miss celebrating your graduation?" Your mum asked as she walked over to you, hugging you tightly as you pushed your head into her chest. 

"Thank you," Your mother shook her head at you, pointing over at Yoongi who was standing beside the food table trying to make sure everything was perfect. 

"Yoongi organised everything." You looked at Yoongi and smiled, this whole time you thought he had been stressed over work and it was over all of this. The late nights and secret meetings all finally had an explanation.

"Thank you," You breathed out as you hugged Yoongi from behind, pushing your head into his shoulder blades as he smiled. 

"Anytime angel, you enjoying the party?" He questioned, feeding you one of the cake pops that were shaped like graduation caps. Everything was so well done and organised it was hard to believe Yoongi would do any of this for you. 

"Very much, you're the best boyfriend in the world." You whispered as he smirked, wrapping his arms around your waist so you would stand in front of him. 

"You have presents back at the dorms but I have one here for you." He pulled something out of his back pocket and you frowned. A small white envelope in his hand and a huge smile across his face. Another thing he had been hiding from you for a while, having a few close calls with you seeing the tickets too.

"What is it?" You laughed as he gave you the envelope to open, watching you with anticipation all over his face. 

"Yoongi..." You sighed looking at the plane tickets that were in the envelope, your dream holiday destination splashed across them with all-inclusive deals beside them.

"It's a gift, you can't say no...W-Well you can but I want us to do this, 2 weeks away. Just the two of us, no work, no distractions." You couldn't believe that he was willing to do this for you, two weeks alone. 

"You're doing this just for me?" He smiled at you, running his hand over your cheek and nodding. His eyes never leaving yours as you let out small tears, 

"No crying, this is a good thing." He chuckled kissing your forehead softly, 

"Besides, we both need a nice relaxing holiday." He told you as he began to feed you more cake pops and food bits that were closest to him on the table. It was safe to say that the two weeks you had ahead of you were going to be the most romantic and relaxing vacation you would ever have in your entire life. All thanks to Yoongi who couldn’t wait to spend some one on one time with you.

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @rjsmochii​ @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​ @misa0000​

[lightsovermonaco]

His Good Sweater: Chapter 12

Masterlist

Winding down from the frenzy of the last chapter... Thanks to @acollectionofficsandshit​ for being my bestie and beta reading! This would have never happened without her ❤

Word Count: 5.9k

Recommended song: "I Don't Care" by Fall Out Boy

“Mon amour, wake up.”

Pierre’s sleep-heavy voice rouses you from the best sleep you’d had in a long time. You’d fallen asleep to the sounds of his even breathing under the soothing touch of his thumb tracing patterns on your side.

You crack your eyes open to see him silhouetted by the white light of the waning moon, his bare chest left uncovered by the blanket slung low over his hips. The sight alone has your mind instantly jumping into overdrive, fighting the need to sleep with the need to continue ogling the bare skin a foot from your face.

“I let you sleep as long as I could,” he says softly, reaching behind him for his phone. “We have to be on the M1 in about half an hour.”

“Mmmph,” you groan, snuggling back under the blanket and closer to him, chasing the warmth radiating from him. “The sun isn’t even out.”

His chuckle shakes the bed. “I figured you would say that which is why I made you breakfast and picked out your clothes. All you have to do is brush your teeth and get dressed.” 

You hum appreciatively and press a kiss to his bare sternum. “Is this how you’re going out today? Because I won’t complain but you might cause a few heart attacks.” A kiss to your temple is a small reward for your comment, as well as a concession.

"Don't worry, this is reserved only for you." He stretches an arm above his head, grinning when your eyes immediately are drawn to the way the muscles ripple and pull under his skin. You stare shamelessly as he flexes a little for your benefit, the action going straight to your head. 

"As it should be." You bite your lip and let your fingertips dance over his chest, memorizing the way it rises and falls so predictably with each deep breath. Against your better judgement you trail kisses up over his pectoral and spot them along his shoulder, dragging another light chuckle from him.

"My love," he warns, voice tinted with mischief, "we don't have time."

"Oh I think we do." You continue your path over his collarbone and to the hollow of his throat. Taking advantage of his biggest weakness, you flick your tongue over his prominent adam’s apple. The move has his hand engulfing your upper arm, giving you a warning squeeze.

"As wonderful as this is" -he sucks in a sharp breath when your teeth graze his neck- "if I'm late Horner will kill me."

"What's new?" You say, but draw back. The mere mention of his name made you see red and shattered the moment. "Do you really want to go back to Red Bull after how they treated you?"

"No," he admits, slipping an arm around you and tugging you up and into a sitting position, taking advantage of the momentary lapse of lust. "But if I want a shot with a top team when my contract is up, I don’t have much choice."

"Where do you see yourself going?"

Pierre studies you as you slip into the clothes he had selected for you. Nothing fancy, just an AlphaTauri branded navy and white hoodie and some light wash jeans. You don't miss the way his lips twitch upward when you notice it's his hoodie, his last name embroidered in block font on the cuff a dead giveaway even if the hoodie hadn't been ridiculously oversized on you.

Cheeky bastard.

"I think I would look good in sunshine yellow," he remarks. You make a show of looking him up and down under the pretense of imagining him in a Renault branded hoodie or their signature black race suit. Truthfully it was just another excuse to drink him in like the fine wine he was and recall how he had tasted on your tongue last night.

He would look good in any color on the grid but you don't grant him the satisfaction of pointing that out. Instead, you lean forward to toy with the waistband of the jeans he had hastily buttoned seconds earlier. "You and Daniel get along just fine." You snag him by the belt loops and yank him forward back onto the bed. "I think you should go to McLaren.”

“I’d still look good in orange.”

You wind your fingers under his waistband. “I think you’d look best wearing nothing at all, actually.”

“The time,” Pierre protests lightly when you pop open the button and undo the zipper. He groans when you yank the denim down around his thighs, finally submitting to your touch and lacing his fingers in your hair. Your lips explore the planes of his abdomen, any and all thoughts of speed abandoned on your end. "If you don't hurry up we're gonna be late."

"Maybe you'll just have to drive fast. I hear you’re good at that."

**********

"So how is it that they got your car all the way to London?"

"It's got its own private jet."

You roll your eyes and smack the hand resting on your thigh. His response is a light squeeze and a chuckle before he continues, "They've got a few spares they keep around for when drivers come to town. I can't be seen in a Mini or it would cause a scandal."

"Oh yes it would be quite tragic." His hand charts a dangerous path along your thigh. He knows exactly what he's doing as he slots a thumb between your legs and presses it tight to the apex of your thighs.

You snap your knees shut, effectively trapping his hand "Now you're just being cruel."

"Only dishing out what you did this morning," he points out and wiggles his hand free to rest on your knee instead. The message was clear: he had shaken you well enough for his liking and was perfectly content to leave you frustrated until he could get you home.

“So catch me up on what I’ve missed,” you say, determined to distract yourself from Pierre’s slight teasing. “What’s new in the life of the rising star in Formula 1?”

“Rising star,” Pierre mumbles and rolls his eyes. “Not yet, my love. Getting there, but not yet.”

“Please, you’re too modest. Last night when you fell asleep- you were out like a light as soon as your head hit the pillow, don't give me that look!” Pierre picks his jaw up off the floor and shakes his head as you continue, “I read plenty of articles that called you the next big thing, right up there with Max.”

The comparison didn't seem to sit right with him. He shifts in his seat, rolling words over on his tongue. “I’m sure you’re caught up then. I haven’t done anything really besides train and race.”

“I did notice you’ve beefed up a bit.”

“Yet another reason to thank Pyry.”

“At this point I should send him a fruit basket for his trouble.”

“Maybe you should.” Pierre grins, hand leaving your thigh for a split second to upshift. “What about you? How’s year four treating you?”

“Ugh, don’t get me started,” you groan. “My senior project is already killing me and I’ve only just started it. We have to design a building from the ground up- I mean I like architecture but I’m trying to be an engineer, not an architect. I dunno why I have to be the one to design a building! At this point it’s just a brick box.”

“Sounds challenging,” Pierre notes, flooring it when he merges onto the highway. Though the speed makes your stomach flip, you don’t miss a beat.

“My team doesn’t do much either, I’ve been doing most of it. I could rant for hours about it.”

Pierre glances at the clock, then back to you. The blue of his eyes is blocked by his signature purple tinted sunglasses, shielding them from the rising sun that casts him in a warm orange glow. “Humor me. We’ve got time.”

The hour and a half drive was by no means dull with Pierre's teasing touches and endless string of questioning along the way. He asked after every aspect of your life that had transpired in the last four months, only stopping you once in a while to interject with an opinion or anecdote.  He didn't stop at your life either, even asking after Ben's relationship. You'd been happy to report that he had indeed wooed his crush and had officially asked him to be his boyfriend.

"Those secret French lessons paid off," Pierre jokes as he pulls up to the imposing glass fronted building that served as Red Bull Racing's headquarters. The sweeping curve of the entrance was flanked on either side by two-story red and yellow bulls; proof that the team's dramatics extended far past the track. Anyone approaching for the first time would have been intimidated by the sheer size of them that suggested they were ready to stomp on their competition at a moment’s notice.

“Guess it’s time.” You sigh and undo your seatbelt and fiddle with the buckle, doing your best to stall. There was no reason to be this nervous. You were no one to these people; the focus would be entirely on Pierre. You would be an afterthought, not that you minded because it made it easier to fade into the background. 

Pierre picks up on your hesitation in a heartbeat. “I’ll keep them off your back,” he promises and you nod, the single sentence taking the edge off. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” You reach for the door handle but Pierre tsks and you pause.

"You know better." You bite your lip to keep back the grin fighting its way to the surface as he comes around to open your door. He offers you his hand and you gladly take it and are pleasantly surprised when he threads his fingers through yours and heads for the entrance.

The atrium serving as the lobby is breathtakingly gorgeous. You had to hand it to the interior designer; they knew what they were doing. Sleek white marble floors are accented by red and yellow leather chairs scattered in small groups throughout the grand space. A tiered circular modern interpretation of a chandelier hangs above to offer guidance to the accountants, engineers and artists that weave through the lobby on their way to their respective wings or offices.

A waist high, glass front cabinet of drivers helmets serves as the reception desk. The unmistakable scent of a fresh cup of coffee hits you as you approach and the secretary hands a steaming paper cup to someone before they scurry off, presumably to a private office if they were important enough to warrant special attention. The first rays of morning sunlight glint off the silver Red Bull logo inlaid in the black marble behind the woman at the counter, making you squint.

"Bonjour Monsieur Gasly," she says in perfect French. "Ça va?"

"Bien," he says simply and switches to English for your benefit. "Has Christian come through yet?"

"He has," the woman says, glancing sidelong at you. Whatever conclusions she draws about you are insignificant enough that she writes you off immediately, angling her body towards Pierre and resting her chin in her hand. The posturing puts her ample chest on display, nearly spilling out of her billowing blouse, but Pierre's eyes don't wander. "He's not expecting you yet. Voulez-vous un cafe?"

"I'm good." The woman may have been determined to alienate you but Pierre was having none of it. Pierre turns to you, a grin playing on his face. This was your first test as an official couple and he intended to see how you handled it. "How about you, my love? Coffee?"

The woman's eyes slip to where your hand remains clasped in his. She cocks her head so slightly you think you might be imagining it until Pierre's grip tightens, a silent encouragement. Your confidence soars. If this was how Daniel's girlfriend felt when the two of them were out, you finally understood why they didn't hide. It was a rush knowing that everyone wanted Pierre but he only wanted you. No matter how blatantly women threw themselves at him, there was no doubt in your mind that he would never give a single one of them the light of day.

It was about damn time you afforded him the same unwavering commitment as he had shown you.

"No thank you," you reply sweetly with a mocking smile directed to the woman. You lean in and drop your voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You might want to fix your shirt though, it’s… slipped. I know I'd hate for that to happen to me and no one tell me, especially at work. I don't think I'd ever recover from it."

Her face immediately turns scarlet as she stands straight and folds her arms over her chest. "If I were you-"

"Let Horner know I'm here," Pierre interrupts and it's somehow the hottest thing he's ever said. His purely commanding tone leaves no room for argument. 

"Of course," she replies with a sharp smile in your direction that makes your spine stiffen. "Good luck. Christian is in rare form this morning."

"Just ignore it," Pierre murmurs and sweeps his thumb over the back of your hand as he leads you across the cold marble and down a carpeted hall. "You handled that well.”

“I may have gotten a few pointers from Daniel’s lover.” Your soft smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes. The short interaction had sapped most of your confidence, leaving you on uneven footing. “I would rather not have to deal with that again soon though.”

“I can handle the women easy enough when I know I’ve got you to come home to.”

The tightness in your chest eases further when the hall opens into another startlingly white space, this time packed with rows and rows of navy cubicles. But that's not where your attention is drawn- instead, your gaze is immediately snagged by the case of trophies towering high along the back wall. Cups of every shape and size shine within, each one representing a different podium for the team achieved in various years and tracks.

"There must be over a hundred," you breathe, mesmerized by the glinting silver and intricate craftsmanship. The case was easily thirty feet tall and you had to crane your neck to catch a glimpse of the ones in the top row. Each one told a story of blood, sweat and tears, each one earned by a driver who had made countless sacrifices to be where they were and finish on a podium.

"A hundred and eighty five to be exact," he counters, laughing at your amusement. "Your inner architect is screaming isn't it?"

"Only a little." 

Pierre laughs outright at your white lie and tugs you along. "You can stare on the way out. I'll even show you which ones were Max's."

"Did you memorize what all his trophies look like?"

"Hey, meetings with engineers get boring. It's one of the more interesting ways to occupy your time when they are going on and on about fluid mechanics and thermodynamics- you know, stuff you understand but not me."

"Oh whatever, you enjoy those meetings and you know it."

"Only a little," he quotes.

People recognize him as you pass and some nod or give a simple greeting as they go about their morning but no one stops him to chat. The air feels a bit hostile, like no one knows what to do with him now that he's walking through the building after a nearly two year absence.

"Do you miss it?" You ask after he smiles at someone for the millionth time. 

"I miss the team," he admits, "but not the management culture. My team was great- they supported me any way they could but it didn't help that Horner didn't exactly encourage them to believe in me. It's hard to crank out results when there's no one on your side."

"I'm on your side," you point out, nudging him with your hip. "You've got me forever, no takesies backsies."

"I'm grateful for it," he murmurs and gives your hand a squeeze. He hadn't let go once; not when he had to open a door or the two of you had to walk single file to let people pass.

The building was a labyrinth and if it wasn't for Pierre you'd have been lost the moment you set foot inside. He navigates the twisting halls with ease, having no need for the countless signs posted along the way.

He leads you up a set of steel stairs after what seems like ages. When he knocks on a heavy oak door, his grip on your hand turns possessive like he suspects the office’s occupant would try to rip you away from him. 

“Morning.”

God, even the one word makes rage simmer in your veins. The voice precedes the man and Christian Horner swings open the door, a plastic smile splitting his face. He doesn't bother acknowledging you with a greeting, instead addressing his driver directly.

“I wasn’t expecting you to bring a guest.”

“A pretty face was needed around here,” Pierre snaps back without missing a beat. You bristle, free hand curling into a fist. If there was one person you didn’t mind teaching a lesson to, it was Horner. He had little respect for anyone he viewed as disposable- up to and including “underperforming” drivers.

Christian raises an eyebrow. “Sure. She can wait out here- you and I have terms to discuss.”

Fine, Horner wanted to play dirty? So could you. When it came to staring him down, you became fearless. He was the one person you refused to let intimidate you.  

Drawing on your newly minted confidence you smile up at Pierre and silence the protest forming on his tongue with a grin. “Gimme a kiss, race winner.”

Pierre doesn’t hesitate to press his lips to yours. Cupping a hand to the back of his neck you draw him in and nip at his lower lip. The hand on your hip tightens at Christian's scoff but Pierre makes no move to break away. You linger a moment longer than necessary to drive your point home: you didn’t care what Horner had to say about you, you were here to stay and he would have to get used to it.

Pierre gives you a small, blissed out smile before dropping your hand and following Horner inside. The door clicks but doesn't shut all the way, Pierre leaving it cracked for your benefit.

Uninterested in eavesdropping on small talk, you lean on the metal railing to observe the research and development garage coming to life on the floor below. Hybrid engines in various stages of disassembly dot the space, small teams of mechanics and engineers tweaking components to reduce weight or increase horsepower. Pistons and valves are scrutinized and exchanged before being placed under stress to test their strength.

An FIA official in a red jacket wove through the garage to observe and jot notes down on a clipboard. He looks over the shoulder of an engineer pouring over formulas on a whiteboard, startling him when the official asks a question. Someone calls your name from below and you search for the origin, finally spotting the woman and waving back at her.

Management may have their qualms with Pierre but it was clear there were still some within the team that had his back. They were likely the same ones that knew he would have to leave the Red Bull umbrella to find any semblance of success. They may not have possessed the guts to stick their necks out for him when Horner had cut him but they were at least happy to see him back around headquarters.

"You sure you'll rise to the challenge?" Horner's question drags you back to the mezzanine. 

"I'll take seventh. I'm only a few points away and we have plenty of races left."

He had five races to catch up to be exact. Pierre currently was comfortably ahead of the pack in ninth, Sainz was only three points ahead in eighth, and Norris ten points beyond in seventh. It would only take a DNF or two from his rivals and a few podiums to pass them up.

"Right," Horner starts. "There's a reason you've done so well this season and it's not luck. You've been racing exceptionally well and I don't want that to change."

"If there's something on your mind just get on with it." Pierre's voice is calm and collected in a way yours wouldn't be if you had been in his shoes. You've been dying to rip into Horner since the day he wrote Pierre off.

"There's been a fire in you the past few months since she has been gone-"

"Leave her out of this."

The tone sends a chill down your spine. It maintains the same level headedness that Pierre had perfected over the years and you had come to expect when he was backed against a wall, but it was laced with an unspoken threat. The intent was clear: he would walk out and abandon his chance for a seat at Red Bull if it meant protecting you.

You creep to the door to peer through the crack. Horner crosses his arms, a sly smile on his face. "You would sacrifice your chance at a championship winning seat for her? Everything you've worked so hard for, gone in a flash, because of her?"

"Without question," Pierre answers immediately. The conviction and commitment behind it nearly makes you stumble. "I'm sure there's plenty of other teams that would love to have me after the season I've had. She’s not going anywhere, so either you stop disrespecting her or I walk out."

You clench your fists, ready to burst in and demand Pierre stop being a fucking idiot. His long term plan saw him at another top team that would take care of him and nurture his skill- a long stint at Red Bull Racing was never in the cards. It wasn't an environment for everyone. Some people like Max thrived in it, letting the toxicity roll off their backs but for Pierre it was a cruel form of punishment. However, a seat at Red Bull for the 2022 season could mean the difference between an offer from Alpine and an offer from Haas when his contract was up for renewal. 

The idea of seeing his number stickered to the floor in a Red Bull garage excites and intimidates you. Last time he hadn't been given the chance to prove himself. Would they still hold that against him? Knowing Christian, he probably would. On the other hand, it meant that they admitted their mistake in cutting him mid-season, whether they said it outright or not.

Pierre's redemption day was on the horizon and you couldn't wait to see the look on Horner's face when he finally won. And the longer Christian stays silent, the more potent the urge to throttle him grows. 

Christian gives a slow clap. "Now there's the unwavering commitment that was missing during round one."

Your heart hammers in the dead silence as papers are shuffled. "Here's the contract. Terms are as discussed, you secure seventh in the world championship in 2021 and the second seat at Red Bull Racing is yours for the entire calendar in 2022. No demotions, substitutions, or shuffling of drivers unless medically necessary or mutually agreed upon by all affected parties."

"And the same spec car as the number one seat," Pierre insists, spine straight. "Same strategy." 

Christian waves a hand. "Yes, that's in there too. Feel free to take a moment and read it over."

He does, allowing Christian time to pour a knuckle of whiskey and set the glass before Pierre. He pours himself an identical glass and waits until Pierre signs and initials all the boxes before raising it in acknowledgement.

"Congratulations. Welcome back to Red Bull- conditionally."

Pierre leaves the glass untouched and remains silent, staring his potential future team principal down. He gives the man no margin to question his abilities further, conveying all he needs to with a look that would have had you shaking at the knees. Even if you can't see his face, wrath radiates from him in waves and you wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of it when it explodes.

"Right then." Christian lowers the glass, his fake smile vanishing. "I look forward to seeing what you can do."

"Don't worry. I'll deliver."

You step back and allow him to set the mood as he exits the office and slams the door behind him. Pierre sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. "You heard all of that right?"

You nod. "You wouldn't have really walked out, right?"

"I almost did."

He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Like you should know that he would choose you over all of this, that all of his dreams and everything he had sacrificed to achieve them thus far meant less to him than you did. How many times did he have to prove his unwavering commitment before you realized it was true?

Pierre laces his fingers through yours, the heat welcomed by your ice cold skin. It was as much a comfort to you as it was to him. "I just have to grab some things from Max's office and then we can head out."

His jaw is still set after his stand off with Christian and you want nothing more than to ease his mind. Publicly comforting him with a touch to his chest or a kiss to his neck was out of the question so you settle on temporary distraction.

"Hey, you know what I want to see?"

"What's that?"

"That room full of all the old chassis. You know, the one that they hold all the fancy virtual events in? I wanna see those."

"I think I should be able to get you back there." He veers down a hall and you yelp, pulled along by his momentum. His attitude brightens a little at your laugh. The grin he throws your way is your own personal sun, warming your soul. 

"Hey- hold on." You pull him to a stop and lead him into an alcove. The inch of space between your chests is charged with electricity, begging to jump from one to the other.

"Can I help you?" He asks and grins down at you.

"No," you say nonchalantly. "Just wanted to be selfish for a second."

You rise up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. He melts into you, one hand coming up to cup your jaw while the other finds the small of your back. You side your tongue over his lower lip and he presses you against the door leading to who knew where and opens his mouth to you. You sigh into the kiss, arms winding around his neck and losing yourself in him.

Now that you had gotten over your anxiety, everything was so much easier. You know there's press roaming about the building and any number of them could pass by at any moment but you genuinely couldn't care less. Let them talk; you were over caring what anyone thought or said.

All that mattered was the man beneath your fingertips. You would endure a lifetime of insults if he was the one to soothe the wounds afterwards. As long as you both were happy, no one could come between you ever again.

Pierre pulls away when someone passes by and coughs quietly.  "You're trouble," he murmurs, leaving an arm propped next to your head and effectively caging you in.

"And you're dangerous," you tease, tugging on his hair and exposing his throat enough to nip at it once. "Together we're the perfect pair."

He groans and leans away. "Keep that up and I might have to stay in London an extra week."

You slip out of his grasp and give him an unrestrained grin. "Don't threaten me with a good time." You spin on your heel and set off down the hall, swaying your hips a little more than necessary.

"You know where you're going?" He calls after you.

"Someone will point me in the right direction, I'm sure."

"Someone like me." He catches up to you and once again takes your hand in his. He was enjoying showing you off almost as much as you enjoyed hanging on him.

"Maybe we should head right to Max's office and hurry home, huh?"

"Maybe-"

"Pierre, there you are."

You both turn to a woman hustling up the hall after you. She’s slight and her brown curls bounce as she jogs to where the two of you pause at a bend. You glance up to Pierre to see if he's just as confused as you are.

"Hey Mary," he says cheerily. "How are you? Sorry I didn't check in with you when I got here."

"Oh it's fine- why aren't you in the Alpha samples I sent?” The woman props a fist on her hip and tips her head to the side. “I think I got your size right now that I’ve laid eyes on you. I was hoping for a shoot today since you've finally come by."

It takes you a moment to register that she's addressing you. You shoot Pierre a look and he offers you a tentative, closed off smile. "Um, what Alpha gear?"

The woman's chocolate brown eyes go wide. "The ones I've been sending to Pierre. Hoodies, dresses, jackets. All the stuff from the new line. They have been sending the samples to you, right?"

"Um, yeah I've gotten them," Pierre says, rubbing his neck. "I haven't given them to her though."

"Oh, I see!” Pink tinges Mary’s cheeks. “I must have missed a memo. I just thought that you'd want to do a shoot with her today, since we already had a quick one planned for you. After all, you talk about her all the time."

"He does?"

Mary nods. "Oh yes, we've all heard plenty about you. You're lucky to have someone so enamored with you. I just dropped off some more samples in Max's office as a little thank you for letting us steal him so often-"

"Okay, thank you Mary," Pierre says abruptly. "I'll get back to you on that."

Pierre steers you away and down the hall. "What was she talking about? Why would they want me to come by for a photo shoot?"

Pierre runs a hand through his hair and pauses outside Max's office. The Dutchman must have been away because Pierre pulls out his key and fits it in the lock. "I just- come on."

He waves you inside and you obey, letting him close the door and grant you some semblance of privacy before continuing. 

"I never formally told anyone that we broke up. Most people came to their own conclusions once they didn't see you around for a while. Some people didn't get the message. Obviously Mary was one of them. I would still talk about you, I couldn't help myself. There was one shoot where Yuki and I were together and he mentioned off hand that you'd be a good brand ambassador. I tried to explain that it wouldn't work but Mary wouldn't hear it and she just kept sending me more and more samples.”

You draw a breath and interrupt his rambling. “But where-”

"I had it all in a box in my office but I struggled to concentrate with a reminder of you hanging over my head. I sent it over here to Max and that's where it's sat ever since. I used the excuse that Max was in town more often than I was and no one read too far into it."

"Why didn't you tell me?" You whisper. "I would've taken them. I'm sure you got an earful from Mary."

"Would you have?” Pierre pauses, your silence in the face of his frustration speaking volumes. “I waited four months to hear from you. Tell me that sending you thousands of dollars in unreleased merch wouldn't have made you even more hesitant to come back to me."

Not knowing what else to say, you let your gaze fall to the carpet. Sending you expensive things would have felt something like a bribe, like he was trying to influence you with fancy clothes.

Pierre shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter, it’s in the past now. We can take it home today and you can wear it when I take you for dinner and Alpha will get the press they’re after. Everyone will be happy.”

He wasn’t happy. That much was plain to see. He hadn’t been able to stomach seeing something intended for you, even that minute of a reminder had been too much for him to bear. God, you had thoroughly wrecked him. You were lucky that there were still enough pieces of him left to heal. 

“I didn’t realize you were hurting so bad,” you say, voice barely above a whisper as you cross the cramped space to him, stepping over piles of strewn paperwork carefully so as to not disturb whatever random order they were placed in. You don’t dare reach out to touch him as his shoulders slump, any and all forward momentum he’d gathered suddenly sapped.

“It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through.”

Unable to let him suffer alone with his thoughts, you wrap your arms around his middle and let your cheek rest between his shoulders. “I didn’t mean to alienate you. I was waiting for you, too.”

“You needed space and I gave it to you.” His hand rests on your arm with a gentleness you’ve come to expect when he lays himself bare like this. “There were so many times I almost gave in to the impulse and just messaged you but I made myself wait. I didn’t want to rush it and make things worse. You always need time to think things through- I knew you would come around eventually. It didn’t make it any easier though.”

You rub soothing circles on his side as you blink back the tears that spring to your eyes. “I’m sorry I put you through that. I’m sorry I took so long and I’m sorry I made you wait. It had to have been torture-”

He turns in your embrace and cups your chin, forcing you to look up at him. The pad of his thumb sweeps across your cheek, the metal of the ring on his middle finger biting into your flushed skin. “It’s alright. You had a lot to sort through and I had to respect that.”

“We lost so much time-”

“Hey,” he says softly, ducking his head to meet your eyes. “We’re together now. If there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that you can’t let missed opportunities control you or else you’ll never be happy.”

You nod, swiping your sleeve under your eyes. “What did they send?” you ask, nodding towards the box overflowing with tan and navy threads.

“Pull up a chair,” Pierre suggests, “there’s a lot.”

You roll over Max’s desk chair and tug on Pierre’s arm. Once he gets the picture and sits, you settle in his lap. He winds an arm around your middle, the close contact already soothing your frazzled nerves.

“That better?” he murmurs.

“Much better.”

@seasidetom @flashcal @limp-wrist-max @sunshinesewis @lifeofzoemichael @ninuffi @perfectfantasies22 @lamboleglerg @ladyperceval @0forgottenparadise0 @evie-pr @avsensio @ninuffi @ricciartodododo​

If you have asked to be tagged in the past and I missed you I apologize! Just comment below and I’ll get you added for future updates. Thanks for reading ❤

[barzzal]

when the ball drops

summary: out of all the times you wanted to bail, for once you were certainly glad you didn’t ditch this year’s new year’s eve party.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: language, parties, drinking, flirty banters + a smitten mat (set in a pandemic free au)

↳ genre: fluff, meeting a total stranger, early 2000’s romantic/comedy typa thing (what i think at least)

↳ length: imagine; 5.9k

↳ masterlist: the barn

note: this is an entry for @hockeynetwork’s winter fic exchange and i was matched as @bqstqnbruin’s secret santa! i genuinely hope you get to enjoy this, boo!! i wanna thank a few mutuals, @tkachukme @calgarycanuck @pizzarandomness (esp @thirteenisles !!) for helping me out so i could get thru with writing this imagine! you guys are so nice i truly appreciate all of you. happy holidays & happy new year, everyone! 💕 (gif used: mine)

Every year you swear to yourself that you would spend the New Year’s at home, eating a peaceful dinner by yourself and maybe enjoy a good bottle of wine whilst you spend the whole night watching The Holiday. But just like all the other years you have spent alone since you’ve moved to New York, you end up breaking that same promise, pretty much with the help of your two best friends Emma and Katie.

Now, instead of being curled up in your living room, wearing your favourite knitted sweater and away from all the New Year chaos happening all at once in the very best place to celebrate such a festive occasion, here you are, getting your second glass of vodka tonic as you wait for the goddamn ball to drop.

The local bar has always been crowded especially during this time of the year. You and your friends already made it an annual thing which is probably the reason why despite the yearning you have for the idea of spending it all alone, you couldn’t find enough courage to ditch them and disappear even just for one night. 

“Where are the girls?” Gavin, the owner of the bar whom you’ve already befriended due to the amount of times you and the girls spent helping him close up was busily wiping the counter when you sat in your usual seat.

You casually motioned your hand to where you left Emma and Katie, dancing with men they’d most certainly end up kissing once the clock strikes twelve. 

“Alone again? You’ve got to blow off some steam, y/n.” He greets you with a concerned look exuding from his virile exterior. You idly shake your head, giving him a tight smile to reassure him that you were doing okay. 

“It’s not that big a deal.” is the usual thing you say to people when your being ‘alone’ on the holidays becomes in question. “Besides, I’m a big girl, Gavs.” You proudly announce, leaning against the bar with your palm resting underneath your chin. 

“I know you’re a ‘big girl’.” He rolls his eyes before his gaze trails off to your friends and then landing onto a couple of young lads from across the room. “I’m just saying, loosen up. Meet people. It feels nice to have someone holding you close at night so don’t be too hard on yourself.” 

A snort bursts from you as soon as you hear the words leave Gavin’s mouth. Who would have known a guy as tough-looking as him would be too much of a softy underneath? 

“What?” He holds his guard as he continues making your drink. The liquid swirling around a few ice cubes and a shot of liquor. 

“Nothing, nothing. I just– I didn’t think you were one of those people.” You say, clearing your voice once you’ve finally gathered yourself. “You know, the sappy romantics.”

Gavin looks at you, giving you an ‘Oh, please.’ look. “No, ‘cause that’s where you’re wrong.” He protests. “I’ve always been this soft, “sappy romantic” kinda guy. You just choose to see me the way you see me; a typical macho man who hands you good drinks.” He pauses, finishing off with the last touches of your drink. “But you know what? That’s fine. ��Cause that’s how I know you’re just like me.” He then slides the cold drink towards you. 

“What do you mean?” You were intrigued to be fair. You already had your head tilted to the side trying to piece something that could justify what he just said.

“That.” He looks at you, index finger circling before your eyes to make his argument even more compelling. “You act like a strong independent woman, which by the way you still are,– but you have to admit that you do want someone who’s gonna want to spend his New Year’s watching that dumb old movie of yours.” He says with a grin before he pours another customer a shot of tequila. 

You were sure you wanted to just shrug it off, but somehow, you can’t help but think of how his words hit you in the subtlest way. Each word bearing an insane amount of possibilities of him being right all along. 

But what’d he know anyway? It’s not like he knew you better than anyone else. Maybe it’s just his way with words. Or maybe he’s just that good. After all, that’s basically the reason why he’s running a goddamn bar, right?

𖥸

It wasn’t Mat’s first time spending New Year’s away from his family but if he only had a choice, he’d certainly take the next plane with no question. However, given how the team’s fight for the Cup is going stronger than the last season, he couldn’t bring himself to risk going away and missing out on his usual routines. So, for the past couple of weeks he’d let himself be stuck with Beauvillier throughout the holidays. 

Now, for the sake of festivities, the two decided it’d be best to come out to the city and have fun welcoming the New Year along with some good friends that were surprisingly available at the last minute. That being said, the local bar was already the third one they’ve gone to having started the drinking binge earlier than intended. 

“Happy New Fucking Year, Motherfuckers!” The loudest and perhaps, the drunkest man cheered at the center of the dance floor, holding up his drink carelessly as he danced to the mind numbing EDM coming off from the DJ’s booth. 

“Way to get wasted. Am I right?” Dan says as he stands to gather everyone and clink their beer mugs for the nth time. 

“Somebody’s definitely gonna miss the ball drop.” Tito snides, referring to the drunken man cheering tirelessly. Mat shakes his head and idly laughs. Their glasses meet halfway, causing some of the beer to spill over the table. The loud music and cheers echoed in Mathew’s ears, finding the whole scene a little too overwhelming despite how he liked to loosen up with bottomless drinks coming his way. 

Somehow, he was thankful that he needed a second to breathe which only meant having to take his eyes off of the same guys he hangs with on and off the ice. Because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have been able to see someone so beautiful yet seemingly out of place when his gaze landed onto that one girl sitting by the bar all by herself at what seems to be the loudest pub in the city. 

“God, she’s pretty.” The words unknowingly slip off his tongue, making him realize he’s announced his thoughts out for the group just enough to make their brows quirk at the now out-of-reach Mathew.

“What?” Anthony leans closer to him so as to give himself a view of what Mat had his eyes peeled for. 

“That girl by the bar, she’s— she’s really pretty.” Mathew says, completely sure that he has never said anything true in his life. Much to his surprise, the boys gathered around and turned their heads towards the girl sitting by the bar. 

“So? Go and talk to her, man.” Anthony casually proposes with a nudge, urging him to go after her. 

Mathew immediately lets out a foolish scoff and chooses to gulp a large amount of liquor from his mug. 

“Yeah, just go for it. What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Tyson chides, looking at the girl who has utterly made their night a little more interesting. That being said, being stuck with the three biggest blokes wasn’t that too interesting to begin with. 

“Oh, worst thing? She could hear me!” Mat runs a hand through his hair, incapable of taking his eyes off of her even just for a second. 

“You know if you don’t, I will.” Tyson puts his beer down and acts as if to make the move Mathew was too hesitant to do himself in order to boost his mate.

“Fuck off. Fine. Hold my beer.” Mat rolls his eyes and shoves Tyson his mug before gathering himself by straightening creases off his suit along with a few sharp breaths to ease out the nervousness he’d been feeling.

You watch the teeny tiny leaf of mint swirl around the whirl of liquor you’ve successfully made, ignoring all the background noise, still evidently fixated on the words Gavin has left you with earlier. Has it really been that long since you allowed yourself to be fully vulnerable around someone? 

A sad smile escapes your lips, one that made the man that was now towering all over you wonder what could have possibly caused such melancholy on the most beautiful girl he has seen all throughout the city. That’s a rather heavy way to put it but that doesn't mean he was lying. He did find you really pretty. Maybe even a little too much and too out of his league.

A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts.

“Hi.” He says, gray eyes illuminated by the strobe lights hitting your direction. You give him a tight smile, acknowledging his presence and frankly even the boldness he had to strike up a conversation. 

“I just wanted to ask if what you’re drinking is any good.” Mat subconsciously reprimands himself for coming up with what is yet to be the lamest thing he’s ever told a girl. 

Great. Now, you’re asking her if a vodka tonic is good? As if it could get any better? He thinks to himself. So, to compensate and reduce further damage, he plays it off by laughing quite sheepishly as he absent-mindedly massages his nape.

Noticing what the man was doing, you let out a shy laugh too, biting your lower lip as you find his foolish attempt of hitting on you quite adorable.

“Wow. You’re really good at this.” You tease, now giving away a playful smile, poking at his middle school pick up line. 

Mathew chuckles. His doe eyes shy and alienated by the confidence he certainly knew he had not until a few seconds ago when he met yours. “I swear I’m better than this.” He tries again, this time earning himself a soft giggle from you.

Atta boy, Mat. 

“I’m Mat by the way. Mathew Barzal.” 

He reaches out his hand which you gladly took. It was calloused and rough around the edges whilst Mat found yours completely fitting in his. Your eyes meet halfway as you both shook each other’s hands. Fingers lingering quite longer than it should be.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.” 

“So, you’re telling me you haven’t had a tonic before?” You ask him, hands now all to yourselves. Mat leans against the bar, his elbow resting on the counter, unable to suppress the embarrassment now dawning on him upon remembering his little set back.

“I’m sort of a vodka tonic connoisseur.” He kids in an attempt to redeem himself. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad.” 

You look at him, shaking your head at how unbelievably gorgeous this man is. “Fine. It wasn’t. I’ll give you that.” 

“So,” He takes a deep breath before taking one of the empty seats beside you. “I– I can’t help but wonder, I mean– if it’s not too forward of me, how come you’re drinking alone on New Year’s?” 

You take a sip off of your drink and faintly shake your head, dismissing his query. “Hmm. Actually, no.” 

Mathew muttered an “oh.” at the thought of hearing what he thinks you’re about to say next. To his surprise, and frankly feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his chest, you motion towards your best girls, Emma and Katie who were now obviously way too fond of the guys they just met.

“See those girls?” 

Mathew nods, the answer to his question now becoming much clearer and put together. An answer that absolutely went along with his cards well. 

“Those are two of the most important persons in my life going at it at a New Year’s Eve Party.” 

“Would it be wrong to ask why aren’t you ‘going at it’ like how they’re doing it now?”

Is he always this formal? You think, lips curving to a grin. 

“What?” He asks when he sees the expression (he can’t quite put a finger on) on your face.

“Nah. I’m all good. I mean, not that I don’t want to. I just–” You pause. Unsure of whether telling him the truth would do your case any better. What’s there to lose anyway? He’s just some guy you’re bound to meet at the bar. It’s not like you didn’t anticipate a scenario like this from happening, right?

“Just take me as someone who isn’t really fond of big parties,” he then cuts you off and finishes your sentence, “But still go anyways.” 

“Exactly.” 

Gavin pops in for a bit, handing Mathew a bottle of beer he was certain of not ordering. He looks at him puzzled. A silent question that Gavin answered with a wink before getting back to tending to his alcohol induced customers. 

Apparently, it’s on the house.

“How come you’re here chatting with me when your friends are all the way there?” You motion towards a curly haired man and the other boys across the room. One was even smiling at you but you just opted on giving him a nod before turning your head back towards Mathew.

“Well, I didn’t like the idea of having you celebrate the New Year’s alone.” He honestly says. But since you were the kind of person who wasn’t the best at taking any type of compliment nor flirty exchanges like a normal person would, you roll your eyes and be the blunt person you were always known for. “Oh. I thought you saw a girl sitting alone at the bar and saw that as an opening.” 

To be fair, Mat wasn’t really intimidated by your remark. In fact, he actually liked how straight forward you were with him. You didn’t look at him the way he’s gotten used to whenever he comes up and introduces himself to other girls; something that only made him more interested in you. He can’t help but want to know what exactly is going on in your mind. Not the creepy kind, of course. Just the one where he’d rather spend the New Year’s getting to know a total stranger than getting insanely pissed with the same men he’s spent most of his days with.

“That too.” He admits, taking a sip off his beer without breaking his eyes off you. 

There was a sheer silence for a moment. The kind that Mat knew was much deafening than the booming sound of the usual dreadful New Year’s Eve Party. “So tell me,” Mat regains himself, catching your attention once again. “What would you rather be doing tonight? You know, if you hadn’t had to come out here.” 

He watches your lips quirk thinking about what it was that you actually wanted to do tonight. Then again, you only had one thing in mind. 

“I kinda wanted to spend it alone for the past three years.” 

“That long? How come?”

“Well, you know, for some peace and quiet. Maybe watch a movie or two.”

Like what he has been doing since the moment he’d gone to talk to you, he watches you run your fingers around the rim of your cold drink. Evidently immersed in your own thoughts from trying to piece out the real reason behind your grave wanting to spend the occasion alone. 

Turning the tables, you ask the same question back, “What about you? I mean, other than getting shit faced, what would you rather be doing?” 

Mathew takes a deep breath trying to suppress the longing he’s felt for the past few weeks. He just misses his family so much that he couldn’t help but wonder how they’re doing even if he’s constantly kept in touch with them hours before he’d gone out with the boys. 

“I’ll be with my folks. You know, all that usual family stuff.” He answers you shortly. 

You didn’t think much of what he’s told you so you just tell him the very thing that crossed your mind. “You know, it’s amazing how two people who didn’t even want to be here find each other just so they could bitch about not wanting to be here a little bit more.”

The two of you share a good laugh, utterly and undeniably enjoying each other’s company. It didn’t feel weird having to talk to a total stranger, let alone let them have bits and pieces of yourself that only enables them to put together an image of you that isn’t even as close to who you really are. Regardless of that notion, there was something about how Mathew connected with you, and how you connected with him. 

It was far from being the movie type of thing, but you have to admit, the remainder of the time you two have spent talking over a half empty bottle of beer and a glass of vodka tonic has definitely made the two of you feel this unexplainable wanting of having to learn more about each other. That being said, when all drinks were drunk till its last drop, Mathew couldn’t help himself from wanting to spend a bit more time with you. Maybe, even the whole night if you’d only let him. 

“D’you want to get out of here?” He shoots his shot as quickly as he could, afraid that losing even just a second would mean losing a night of spontaneity with you. 

You have long waited for a reason to miss the annual party. And if that meant having to wait three years just so you could stumble upon a tall and fairly handsome man that was going to save you from a dreadful evening, nothing would’ve felt as right as this if it weren’t for the push Mat had stored in his piercing eyes and mischievous grin. 

You didn’t have to give it much thought. After spending a whole hour exchanging little trivias of yourselves, Mat finally had it easy in making a riveting case. You sigh in defeat as you fish out a few cash from your purse and slide it into your tab. 

Excitement now exuding from Mathew, he bobs his brows up and down whilst he watches you roll your eyes once again for the hundredth time tonight. “I’m gonna hate you for this.” You tell him as you get off the bar stool.

Mat hurriedly signals Tito for his coat to which he was able to catch the moment he had tossed it towards his way. He then gets yours that was placed on the back of your seat before finally following you out towards the door.

“I highly doubt that.” 

𖥸

Mathew draped your coat over your shoulders, helping you to slip into it. You politely say your thanks and hold your purse close, your gloves gripping onto the leather as the two of you stroll the streets of New York, the winter breeze brushing on your cheeks with every stride you make. 

“So,” You begin, putting both of your hands inside your coat pockets. “Where are you taking me, Mat?” 

He tries to think for a second. The thought of not having a concrete plan for the night finally dawns on him. He clicks his tongue and breathes in the familiar scent of the city. Mathew looks around the block and spots the good old food truck he and the boys once tried when they were out for an away game with the Rangers. 

“How about New York’s finest burrito?” He points to where the truck was parked, clueless to how his sudden movement placed him inches closer to you. You didn’t notice it until you looked at him for his eyes were still pinned to where the truck was at. 

Mat’s eyes were pretty. That’s a known fact. But what you didn’t realize was how astonishing they are not until you got this close. You took in the sight sitting before you as fast as you could while he was still preoccupied like a five-year-old kid seeing an ice-cream truck pass by the neighborhood. Your eyes linger from his well structured brows, his unbelievably long lashes, down to the tip of his nose and his rosy cheeks before finally settling down to his cherry plump lips. All of which were more than enough to send butterflies in your stomach. 

“O-Okay.” You agree. Mathew takes you by the hand before you can even say a word. Thank the gods for letting you live in a city that seems to never stop the hustle to still have open food trucks good for a quick bite at this time of the night close into New Year’s.

“Hey, bud. Two sixes to go, please.” Mathew says politely once he knocks on the window. 

“You’ve got to try this, I swear.” He looks back at you with the same warm smile beaming on his face.

“Unless you want a proper meal? I mean, there’s a diner down the–” You immediately cut him off and take out your purse, offering to pay for it instead. “No! It’s fine, really. I’m a bit hungry myself.” 

After spending the whole time waiting for the wrapped snack, arguing on who would be paying, you let Mathew have this one for now even if you didn’t like others paying for what you can pay yourself.

You take a good look at your watch and see that you only have about an hour left till midnight. An idea pops in your head, making you gasp at the thought. Mathew looks at you with a half-eaten burrito in his hand, his brows all furrowed as if to ask a piece of your mind. 

“Come on, I know where we should go.” 

𖥸

Mathew never thought he’d found himself standing on a rooftop of a random building overlooking the Empire State during one of the coldest times in the city. The things that has only kept him sane was the girl who was still holding his hand, the city lights that have always left him in awe, and of course, the well heated rooftop.

There have been a few exchanges that are quite notable over the time you’ve spent with Mathew. He’s told you about the usual night outs he and the boys have for leisure, the family he had back in Coquitlam, how much he misses his mom and his sister, and how much love he has for hockey that he ended up doing the thing he loved most for a career. 

Him, on the one hand, pretty much learned the same stuff about you. Well, almost, for he has yet to ask you the one thing that has been bugging him off all night. 

You were telling him how this was your safe haven in the city and how much you loved going here every time you felt like needing to take a deep breath and step back from the world when he asked you a simple question. One that’s absolutely left you surprised (and a little bit impressed) that he still even remembered it at this point. 

“What’s the movie about? You know, the one you’ve been wanting to see tonight.” He asks, both of his hands inside his pockets to keep warm. 

The two of you sat on the bench facing thousands of lights illuminating the whole city. You look at him for a second, biting your lip as you contest with yourself, the thought of Mat being the kind of douché that would shit around women and their romantic comedy films comes rushing to you like a cold December breeze. 

“Alright, why do you want to know?” You pass the ball back to his court. To which Mat shortly answers with a level-headed sigh. “I kinda get the feeling it has something to do with the three-year thing.” 

“You’re nosy.” You kiddingly say, earning a chuckle from him. 

“You’ve spent the whole night walking with me and I can barely even feel my legs anymore, y/n. Trust me, between you and me, you know you’re the nosy one.” The two of you share a small laugh, your voices are the only sound that can be heard besides the sleepless city acting as a white noise to you and Mathew’s little bubble. 

“Fine. And you’re a fucking athlete, so don’t even start.” 

You playfully give him a nudge on the shoulder when he starts mimicking what you say. Mat stops immediately and looks at you with the same doe eyes glinting under the security lights that the rooftop had. He then patiently waits for you to gather your thoughts, breathing in all of New York as he lets himself drown in your presence. 

You didn’t know how but there was this unspeakable comfort you feel around Mat. Sure, he was just a total stranger you’ve met a few hours ago, but no one, not even the guy who dumped you after your five-date rule, was able to connect with you at the same level as Mathew did. 

“It’s not that I want to see it so bad. I’ve watched it for like– a reasonable amount before it became my comfort movie. Plus, it’s literally called The Holiday. Why wouldn’t you want to see it during the holiday?”

You tell him a bit more of how you’ve come into liking it, stalling him from the real reason why you wanted to celebrate the New Year’s alone. But you know, that even after all the circles you’re willing to go through just to keep Mat at bay, you’re bound to lose all your strings and resort to telling him in the end. You just hope you wouldn’t be making the same mistake you’ve made three years ago. 

You told Mathew about your on and off childhood sweetheart Claude who has always kept you high and dry throughout the years of being together. (That is if you were in fact together.) He was the constant reminder that you will never be the kind of person someone would want to stick around with.

You and him go a long way. You both ended up going to the same university because he just had to have you around and that he couldn’t afford not being with you even just for a second. He said that he couldn’t take the thought of having to see you only on the holidays so as the dumb kid you once were, your feet followed his everywhere he’d gone.

That cycle went on and on until you finally had the courage to leave everything behind and move to New York. Months as a new kid in the city, you were scared, of course. You spent your days hanging around your apartment, doing all sorts of crap you can even think of just so you wouldn’t have to leave your flat. Although, meeting Emma and Katie was the biggest push you needed to finally let yourself let loose. Long story short, at the first New Year’s Eve Party you’ve ever gone to after moving in the city, the person you least expected to see was the very first one to come out of Gavin's bar. Claude.

Just like what a normal person would do, the two of you sat down and caught up. Pretty much the same thing you’ve gone with Mathew. Although only a lot less chit chat and a lot more kissing.

Claude told you his real intentions. He said that he wanted to start something with you for real. Of course, you had let him but you have made the biggest mistake of telling him about your five-date rule.

Lo and behold, Claude did stick around for the fifth date. That being said, he had stayed only for the fifth date. You saw him sneaking out of your flat so early in the morning, leaving you nothing but a voicemail that said his foolish reasons and insincere apologies. Since then, after a lot of major hook ups here and there, you’ve never let yourself become as vulnerable and stupid as you once were with the biggest douche you’ve ever met.

“It’s crazy, I know. You can laugh about it.” You say when Mat hasn’t spoken for a few seconds. 

He takes a glance at you, a tight smile on his face. “I don’t think it’s crazy. That man is crazy. And also, a big prick. Classic dick move.” He tells you before he turns his eyes back to the city.

“Well, yeah. That’s me. That’s the holiday story.” 

“A crappy one, of course.” You add. 

Mat shakes his head no. He didn’t know why exactly but all he wanted to do at that moment, a few seconds before New Year’s, was to give you something,– even just a memory you could look back on. That that story isn’t going to be the one you’d be remembering for the next holidays. He wanted his to be something that’ll make your three-year-old crappy story long gone and forgotten. That his version would be the one that’s stuck.

“Definitely not this one.” 

As the clock strikes twelve, cheers erupted throughout New York along with fireworks shooting into the city’s midnight sky. The first thing you see upon looking back were the same kind eyes of the man whom you have randomly met at the party you dreaded most. Only this time, drowning you little by little as it becomes iridescent under the thousands of lights covering New York City.

You were frozen to your seat as Mat’s face inch closer to yours. You feel his breath against your cold skin as if it was lulling you to sleep. His hands find its way to your face, cupping both of your cheeks rather gently as he finally paints a new memory you’d be carrying for the rest of your holidays. 

“Happy New Year.” He greets you, almost like a faint whisper whilst the two of you gasp for breath. You blink a few times just to process what had just happened and digest how unbelievably good that kiss was. 

Mathew’s hands were still on your cheeks. You held them close so he’d know you weren’t ready to let go. You take a deep breath, gathering enough courage to ask him an unusual way of greeting someone a Happy New Year. 

“Will you walk me to my car?”

𖥸

You have both of your hands tucked inside your coat pockets as you walked the street leading to where you left your car. Mat was just telling you about the game happening next Thursday against the Bruins and how it would mean a lot to him if you’d come and see him play. 

“To be fair, the Bruins are good.” You commented, a playful smirk plastered on your face rather teasingly. 

Mathew lets out a snort as he rolls his eyes, chuckling at the thought of you dissing on his team the moment you had the chance. “Hey, both teams are good.” 

“It’s just the matter of who’s better.” You finish his sentence, yet again working your way with a clever remark. Mat hums, not necessarily agreeing with your sentiment. 

“So will you come?” He asks again just so he could hear you say yes. You take a deep breath, not letting yourself think too much of the said invitation. If you’re going, you’re going as a friend. Actually, you weren’t even sure if you could even call yourself such a label.

You nod your head yes to which had become the reason of Mathew’s glee. The two of you walked side by side in peace, basking in the comfort of each other’s presence. 

Once the rush of excitement about you coming to one of his games starts to wear down, Mathew begins to feel the weight of walking befall on him as it grows quicker with each step he takes. With his brows meeting halfway, he looks at you, eyes evident with confusion. 

“Where did you park your car exactly? I feel like we’re walking straight to Long Island.” He chortles, scratching his temple quite adorably.

You bit your lower lip as you looked up at him. Mathew’s physique towering over yours. “I uh– I took a cab to the party. My car’s actually parked outside my apartment.” You admit with a shy laugh.

Mat’s mouth went agape upon hearing you confess; awkward silence envelops the two of you with every second spent not talking to one another. Not long after, he decides to break the ice, undeniably impressed at how he’d never seen it coming.

Clever. He thinks, incapable of stopping his gut from swirling. His smile widens when he sees you looking at him; unfazed and perhaps, enamoured. 

𖥸

Mat did walk you to your car. The two of you exchange your thank you’s; utterly grateful for what has to be the best New Year’s you had in years. 

You wanted to ask him for one last cup of coffee because the last thing you wanted him to do was leave. But after all the things you’ve gone through with the man within such a short amount of time (and frankly, even a tedious walk) you still failed to muster enough courage to stop him from doing so. 

Once you see him get in the lone cab that miraculously passed by your neighborhood at such an ungodly hour, you close the door behind and head straight to your flat. 

You get home to the sight of your weighted blanket spread over your couch along with a couple of pillows that seems to be the best place to bury yourself in after a tiresome night out. Things were just as they were left hours ago; prepped for a much awaited movie night. As planned, you quickly get out of your winter clothes, head for a quick shower, before finally slipping into some comfortable nightwear.

You were just finishing up putting the bowl of popcorn and a bottle of Chardonnay on top of the coffee table when a buzz coming from the intercom catches your attention.

Once your hands were free, you quickly made your way towards the box, a bit irked at the thought of Katie and Emma ruining your long-overdue New Year agenda upon remembering how she’d told you to let her in the building just in case Katie gets a little too overboard. 

“Emma, I’m about to watch Jude Fucking Law. Just come up!” You hurriedly say, turning your head back to the screen which already had the movie on pause. 

However, instead of Katie’s whiny and drunken voice, what you heard was the same familiar chuckle that had been cruising your mind all night. 

“You know, I don’t think I mentioned that I haven’t watched The Holiday. Is Jude Fucking Law any good?” He asks. A mental image of how his eyes crinkle when he laughs comes to mind upon hearing his voice. 

Once again, pretty much like how you’ve spent the whole evening with Mathew, a wide smile lets loose as you press the black button. “Come on up.”

[ramp-it-up]

Baby

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Minors DNI, Wordsmith Daveed, descriptions of masturbation, references to breath play, manual sex, explicit laguage, oral sex (male receiving), love fluff. All errors my own.

A/N: This an ask from the 100 smut prompts ask list. What have I done? Smut level building with each story and y’all don’t even know.

BTW: This is in the Acceptance/Valentine’s Daveed AU. Short Stack x D.

You were so nervous that you surprised yourself.

It had only been 10 days since you’d seen him after three weeks of getting reacquainted and all the mind blowing sex on the regular.

You’d told yourself, and him, that you wanted to take it slow this time, but you weren’t prepared for him leaving.

You tried to go to sleep right after you got home from the second show on Sunday night because you wanted to get up early to pick up Daveed from the red eye Monday morning.

Your mind would not quit spinning, though, and you’d slept very lightly.

You hopped out of bed at 5 am, hyped to see your Daveed again. You decided to park and wait inside the baggage claim area.

You felt like a teenager when you saw D’s text come through that he’d landed. You texted back a cool, “K,” then freaked the fuck out. 

Who were you? Certainly not the one who’d left Daveed and pretended he didn’t exist for a year. 

Well, you’d tried it.

You watched as the crowds from the planes came down to baggage claim. You saw Daveed’s Oakland hat and curls above most of the rest of the passengers.

The rest of the crowd faded from focus as your eyes were riveted to Daveed. He had the biggest smile on his face. He looked so unreal. And so fucking good.

You felt the heat rise to your face. You were sprung, dickmatized, ruined.  You felt hot, cold, emotional and about to cry.

Shit.

You were in love.

---

Daveed had spotted you before you spotted him. 

He had that eagle eye for you. You were sitting down scrolling on your phone, your legs crossed. 

Damn, those legs tho. Even though you were short, those legs went on forever to a succulent promised land that he hoped to visit real soon.  

He licked his lips and recalled what you tasted like. 10 days was too long.

You stood up and searched the crowd. Your eyes locked and he could see that you were flustered. 

You hadn’t said you loved him back since you got back together, but he was almost certain. You wanted the same thing he did. He smiled as he came after you.

----

You felt like you couldn't move as you stared at Daveed. He finally reached you and dropped his bags on the floor. 

He didn't say a word, but bent down, wrapped his arms around your waist, picked you up, and kissed you, hard. 

You took off his hat, fisted his hair and groaned through the kiss. You had to get out of there.

"I missed the hell outta you," he told you when he finally put you down. 

He smiled down at your upturned face, took his hat out of your hand and smashed down your nice fluffy curls with it. 

You pouted, only pretending to be mad.

"Funny, I was just thinking the same about you. I missed you too, Diggs." You were so happy he was back.

"Finally! You admit you missed me. Maybe you really do like me and are not just using me for my body!" He laughed at you. "Not that I care at this moment."

"Yeah, I like you. And I will take you up on that usage agreement." 

You leaned up to kiss him again before leading him out to the parking lot.

“Your place?”

It wasn’t even really a question since he let go the place he had been renting. It didn’t make sense for him to stay somewhere else.

You couldn’t even front as you nodded eagerly. He rewarded you with another smile, then looked at you and bit his lip as you stood outside your car.

You cocked your head at him, mesmerized. Your body was feening for his. 

"You wanna drive?" Your voice was husky and full of desire.

Daveed put his lips close to your ear. You shivered. 

"Hell yeah, but I want you to get us there. I wanna look at you."

 He opened the driver's side door for you.

You stared for a minute and climbed in. Daveed looked at you in the driver's seat, leaned over and kissed your lips softly and let his hand travel down your body from your neck to your thighs. 

Damn, he thought as he shook his head and went around to the passenger seat. I'm this close to the promised land! He was excited but cool.

You tried to collect your thoughts but your brain was short circuiting with him so close and his spicy coconut scent filling your nostrils.

Daveed sat in the passenger seat, looked at you and put his infamous left hand on you. He was tracing patterns on your leg.

The sensation traveled to your core, the fabric of your leggings somehow a sensual conductor. 

“Tell me this. Did you touch yourself when I was gone?”

“W-what do you mean?” 

Daveed caught the stutter, and smiled, but he kept his eyes down as his hand moved up higher, stopping the tracing and now clasping the expanse of your thigh and squeezing just a bit, long fingers embedded between your lush legs.

“You know what I mean. I mean did you finger your pussy, circle your clit after licking your fingers and then pulling them out to taste them again?” 

His eyes held yours now. You couldn’t breathe.

“I mean, did you shove your fingers inside you as deep as you could and then did you curl them until you hit that special spot while still pressing your button?”

You gasped for breath and Daveed’s eyes went to your lips and tongue. He leaned forward to kiss you, but stopped himself with a small moan.

“Did you play in your sopping wet slit and let your fingers slip down to feel your other hole, accidentally of course, until you were sliding over the sheets in your own wetness?”

He was leaning toward you now, looking into your eyes as if he really wanted to know.

“Because that’s all I’ve wanted to do for 10 gotdamn days.”

And then he took your mouth, supple lips covering yours and tongue making you remember it’s past transgressions.

"You're trying to get me to fuck in this airport parking lot aren't you?"  

You could only say it after you caught your breath. You were actually trembling in this man's arms. Damn.

"Now why would you want to do that?" 

Daveed asked his question as he moved his hand up your face into your hair and gave a gentle but firm tug, making you gasp again and getting him harder than he already was. 

You moaned. "You know why...."

He loved to hear you struggle and made a mental note to show you more about breath play at your place.  

He forced your head back and marked your neck, turning places your skin a deep purple. So beautiful. Damn, he wanted to do demented things to you right now. 

“Fuck, Daveed. No marks!” 

He knew why you were protesting and it irritated him. He pulled your hair again. 

“That’s what the fuck makeup artists are for.”

He practically growled. That and his full beard made you ready to go right now.

His hand moved down your neck to your collarbone tracing it over to your chest and there it rested for a minute, his thumb caressing your nipple through the fabric of your hoodie. 

Which was really his hoodie.

Daveed moved his hand underneath, squeezing your breast gently in his hand.

 "No, I don’t know why..." He wanted to hear you.

"Because you are making me so fucking wet, that's why." 

Your needy whine threatened to take him out right then.  

"Word? That's what's up. Let me see.”  

Daveed raised his eyebrow at you.

You were past the point of denying him anything at this moment.

"Y-yes. Please." 

That was the green light.

He trailed his hand down your stomach to the waistband of your leggings. He slipped his hand in, his long fingers caressing your pearl. He could feel it swell right away. 

"Jesus!" 

He couldn't stand it. 

"You are wet.”

He plunged two fingers in your goodness and could feel your body grip them. 

"Damn, how are you so tight.!?!" 

He started pumping in and out of you, doing what he’d described earlier. He needed to be inside you, and soon.

"The dancing....always... keeps ....the core ....tight.... Oh...My....Damn..." 

Your eyes were closed as you felt your body quicken. Daveed leaned over, pulled the hoodie up and gently bit your nipple, playing with it with his tongue while it was still trapped between his teeth.

He could feel you start to pound around his fingers. 

As you started to moan, Daveed covered your mouth with his. You came on the palm of his hand. D was as hard as a rock and leaking in his jeans.

He watched as you came, wanting to bust himself. He had to do something.

"Are you sure you can drive?" He asked with an evil grin. "I think you should go ahead and get into the passenger seat so I can."

You opened your eyes and looked at him, confused.

"Just climb over me and I’ll shift into the driver's seat."

Your heart skipped a beat as you shifted up and over the car’s gear shift and onto Daveed’s own.

You came down relatively hard on his lap and he groaned. 

"Are you gonna drive?" You leaned forward and whispered in his ear. 

Daveed was gripping your ass while you rode him. He couldn’t speak.

"Let me get you off.... so you can move." 

You got on your knees on the floorboard of the car in front of him. You watched him watch you as you unzipped his pants and uncover the throbbing mass.

You smiled and kissed it lightly. 

"I've missed you." 

You looked up at him. “What do you want me to do?"

Daveed just stared at you, put his fingers in his mouth, and pulled them out slowly. He closed his eyes as he tasted you. You grinned and went to work. 

You licked his tip as you gently squeezed his balls. Then, you lowered your wet mouth around him, causing him to piston his hips up toward your face. 

You took his cock down your throat and moaned. 

“Damn, I’ve missed the sight of you letting me fuck your face. Such a good, good, good, good girl.”

He trusted into your mouth with every good and the praise made you want to live up to your title. You took what he gave you. And gladly.

After he came, and you swallowed, he looked around. 

"Let's get out of here before we get arrested."

You laughed and kissed him as you shifted around and he got in the driver's seat and fixed his clothing. 

You adjusted yourself as well. Satisfied for the moment, but anticipating more to come. 

He smirked at you as he put the car into gear. You dozed slightly as he drove back to the city, finally relaxed enough to rest.

As he pulled into your space in the parking garage, he gently shook you awake.

“As much as I want to I can’t carry you and my bags upstairs.”

You smiled and stretched, Daveed watching appreciatively.

“My big strong Baby. You can do anything.”

You took his face in your hands and kissed his forehead, nose and lips.

“Baby?”  Daveed’s eyes glowed as he grinned at you. “I’m ‘Baby’ now?” 

Your stomach and back were fluttering like crazy. But you sucked it up and smiled back at him. It was time out for games.

“Yeah, as in Baby, bring me something to eat? Baby, are you really playing that game right now? Baby, I need that dick.” 

You looked down and back up at him. “And as in, Baby, I missed you and I love you. So much.”

Daveed’s smile got bigger, impossibly so, and he kissed you back lightly.

“You know I love you too. Short Stack.”  He got serious for a minute. “I promise you I wont hurt you…”

You silenced him with a kiss. “Let’s just keep moving.  No take backs, no regrets.” Another kiss. “Now let’s get upstairs.”

Daveed agreed, and you got out and Daveed gathered his bags.  On the elevator ride up, Daveed held you in front of him, his arm wrapped around your ribcage as you leaned back against him.

You could feel his erection get bigger the higher you climbed.  Him nuzzling your neck almost made you forget that he probably was exhausted and hungry.

“Hmmmm. Baby? You hungry?” 

You smiled down at the elevator floor, anticipating his answer. He didn't reply, just walking out of elevator as the doors opened on your floor.

When you got inside and his bags discarded, he finally answered you. Walking toward the bedroom.

“I’m starving Short Stack. I need to eat. Come sit on my face, let me show you how much I missed you."

You practically skipped into the bedroom behind him.

---- 

Tagging: @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri  @theselilwonders @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @ivycomet @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @curtainremote @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @peaches-and-mangoes @delaber @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @einfachniemand

[magmagicstyle]

DON’T START NOW

*HURT/COMFORT*

Pairings: Bruce Wayne x male!reader, Clark Kent x male!reader

The reader and Bruce used to date until he messed up. Not being able to handle the idea of being in the same city as the millionaire, the reader goes away. Luckily for him, in his new city, there’s a nice and a bit nerdy journalist ready to make his heart flutter again. 

A/N: Hey! It’s been awhile… the only thing I can say to justify me: college is hard, kids… 

 If you don't wanna see me 

You really thought that the relationship was going to last until you both were old and you could see the children have kids and that the kids would call you grandpa. Of course, reality proved you wrong at the moment you saw him fucking Selina Kyle in the bed that was supposed to be yours and his. Her moans and cries of pleasure were quite irritating, the way he grunted and moved against her body while she made noises that made her sound like a cat in heat was so disgusting for you, it made you feel sick. The worst part wasn’t the fact that it was your first anniversary, it wasn’t the fact that he was doing this in your bed, in the bed where you laid with him a lot of times and just whispered “I love you” while he smiled and whispered “I love you” in response. No, that wasn’t the worst part, the worst part of being cheated on, was that you knew that this wasn’t the first time and that he was saying “I love you” towards her. 

Did a full 180, crazy

Thinking 'bout the way I was

Did the heartbreak change me? Maybe

But look at where I ended up

I'm all good already

So moved on, it's scary

I'm not where you left me at all, so

If you don't wanna see me dancing with somebody

If you wanna believe that anything could stop me

“Well, it seems that I’m not needed.” You said quite loudly while you entered the room and closed the door behind you. Your face was stone cold while you looked at the bastard that had the nerve to cheat on you and at the bitch that called herself your best friend. 

Bruce's face was a poem, surprise, embarrassment, maybe a little bit of guilt, but… was it guilt for cheating on you with the woman who called herself your friend? Or was it guilt that came for being caught in the act? Selina looked scared, guilty, even sad; at that moment you didn’t care enough about her. If she was going to feel guilty, she shouldn’t have fuck your fiance in the first place.

You opened the closet and grabbed two suitcases. They were Bruce’ suitcases but, to be honest, he had more than enough money, so he could buy more if he wanted to do it and well, you deserved to take something after being treated like a fool. You put them on the floor and opened them, then you started to grab your clothes and put them inside the suitcases. After you finished you grabbed a backpack and started pulling your jewels, electronics and important things that were inside the bathroom or around the room. 

“(Y/N)...” Bruce said, he was sitting in the bed, a sheet was carefully hanging around his waist and Selina had another sheet around her naked body.

“Don’t worry, I will leave and you will do whatever you want, Brucie…” you said coldly, making fun of the stupid nickname his lovers had used before he started to date you. After all, you knew that he hated that nickname, it made him feel shallow and like an idiot, but if he was going to act like it, he deserved to be called by that nickname. 

“Goddammit, (Y/N), I didn’t mean this to happen, not like this…” He said while standing up and grabbing your shoulder to turn you around.

That sentence and his touch combined made you snap. You were trying to be cold, trying to end this quickly because this way, you thought, it wouldn’t hurt as much as it did. You tried to ignore the crushing pain that you were feeling over your heart being broken in a thousand pieces. You were trying so hard while you picked up the things that only helped you to remember about the times when you thought you two were happy and in love. You tried so hard but he wasn’t making this easy, he was going and acting like it was nothing. Like he didn’t just destroy your life together because he decided to think with his cock. You tried but you couldn’t accept him acting like this was nothing. So you turned around and looked at him with eyes full of pain, hate and tears pouring from them. 

“And how did you expect this to happen? Tell me, Bruce. In which way did you expect me to find out about you fucking the whore that I thought was my friend? Enlighten me, Bruce, because I have no idea.” You said, while your voice was sounding so bitter and crushed.

“Do not call her a whore” He said, jaw locked and frown in his face. Of course, Bruce the hero to the rescue, you thought feeling even more hurt (if that was even possible). Of course, he was acting like you calling Selina a whore was the biggest sin in the world like he didn’t decide to throw away all your time together just for a nice fuck. 

“Oh, sure, because you love her, I forgot about that detail, right Bruce? Because you fucking love her, and I’m here, like an idiot thinking that you still loved me!” You yelled, slapping his hand away, making him look so shocked by your reaction. But let’s be honest, what did he expect? Did he think that you would just laugh this off and call it a day? Of course not, you were hurt, and you weren’t willing to stay with him anymore, so you turned around again and grabbed the rest of your things.

“(Y/N)... I…” Selina tried to call you, to tell you whatever excuse was in her mind but you stopped her by turning and looking at her with pure hate in your eyes.

“Shut up, you fucking bitch... what? You didn’t want this to happen, right? You couldn’t help yourself, right? Don’t fucking look at my face and lie to me” You finished saying this and turned around closing your suitcases and standing them up so you could easily grab them and leave the place.

“(Y/N)! Stop, I won’t let you talk to her this way.” Bruce said, clearly angry at you, but you didn’t care, you were hurt, he hurt you and he didn’t care about it, he only cared about his lover. 

“Oh, boo hoo, so sad, Brucie is angry at me for insulting his whore, what am I going to do? Let me think...” you said while moving and putting your hand under your chin, pretending to think for a few seconds while you faced him. Suddenly, the ring on your left hand shined and made you notice it, almost like a divine sight.

“Now I know! I’ll fucking leave.” You said and took off the engagement ring. Then you threw the ring towards Selina and grabbed your suitcases, turning around one last time and walking towards the door of the bedroom. 

“Have fun with your boyfriend, Selina, well, of course, until he cheats on you with one of your friends… wait, you don’t have friends so you will be fine, right?” You said and walked until you were outside of that hellish mansion. 

“Master (Y/N)!” You heard Alfred yell and walk towards you. He looked quite regretful and sad, and even if you wanted to be able to lash out to him, to ask and yell at him for not telling you or not keeping Bruce under control. Even if you wanted to be able to blame someone else besides the man that you thought loved you. You knew that you couldn’t blame him for not being able to control every step Bruce took.  

“Alfred… tell the kids that if they want to, they can call me any time… and also, if you need me to play chess, have some tea and talk, call me.” You said with a sad smile on your face and hugged the man. Alfred hugged you back and just let out a deep sigh, then he gave you the keys of one of Bruce’s cars. 

“Alfred?” you asked confused.

“A car cannot replace a broken heart, but it can be useful to pursue a new life and also, Master Bruce deserves a little punishment for acting like a dumb teenager.” He said and helped you put the suitcases in the trunk of the car. 

“Goodbye, Alfred.” You said with a soft chuckle.

“Goodbye, Master (Y/N)”

At that moment you hoped on the car and started to drive, you didn’t know your destiny but you just knew that you didn’t want to be anywhere close to Bruce and Selina.

Don't show up, don't come out

Don't start caring about me now

Walk away, you know how

Don't start caring about me now

Aren't you the guy who tried to

Hurt me with the word "goodbye"?

Though it took some time to survive you

I'm better on the other side

I'm all good already

So moved on, it's scary

I'm not where you left me at all, so

You were in Metropolis. After what happened, obviously, the media of Gotham started to talk about the hot news and “the dazzling couple” of the moment. Some people thought that Bruce was an asshole for dating a woman just after your breakup, even talking about how the breakup was probably due Bruce being a playboy unable to keep it in his pants. Other people supported his choices and thought that it was a good thing that Bruce stopped acting so, like they said, “delicate”, obviously wanting to say gay. The other group didn’t care enough about the topic. But even if some people supported you, every newspaper, magazine, or tv was talking about the new couple, about how good they looked together and just stuff like that, and if you had to be honest, you weren’t comfortable with the idea of seeing your ex and his lover in every part of the city, 

So you left. You left Bruce's car with Dick and then bought a plane ticket and just flew to the nearest city that you could think of, and that was Metropolis. You started to get more modelling work there and decided to concentrate more in your career since you couldn’t do that while dating Bruce. Then you just started to get invited to different parties. So, in hopes of forgetting about Wayne and Kyle, you kept going to the parties, drank different things, and even tried some drugs, always being careful so you wouldn’t end up being addicted to something. You danced around with other celebrities, and the Metropolis’ newspapers that also talked about Bruce and Selina at first, started to talk about you and how you became a party spirit after being “freed” from Bruce’s claws.  

The media in Metropolis stopped portraying Bruce as a guy who was freed from you, and started to see you as a model who gained his freedom and his humour back after being cheated on (yes, the rumors about Bruce’s affair became so strong that now all the media commented about it like it was a fact, which it was, but nobody had real evidence besides you and the couple). Some girls took you as an example of self-love and improvement after a bad relationship and in general, after a bad period of time. Obviously, this meant that you had more work as a model and that you even got invited to some tv shows. Your agent even told you that this was the perfect opportunity to publish some of the stories and novels that you had written a few years ago, so you did. Of course, this also was something that caught the newspaper’s attention, after all, they didn’t have the opportunity to talk about how the ex boyfriend of a millionaire was a model, writer, and one of the most liked persons in the whole city. This helped you to get your head off Selina and Bruce and just helped you to get better in general, so you kept going to different shows, took more work, published more stories and just enjoyed your time in this new city. 

This didn’t mean that you had forgotten everything about your life in Gotham, the kids called you from time to time, to know about you, to see if someday they could travel and visit you or to just hear your voice once more. And, to be honest, you were so glad that they didn’t forget about you after your breakup with Bruce, even Alfred called you from time to time, to see if you were planning to go back to Gotham so you and he could have a nice play of chess. But, every time you answered that even if you were feeling better and you were doing just fine in Metropolis, you weren’t sure if you wanted to go back to Gotham, not even for a visit. Still, after saying this, you told him that no matter what he could go to Metropolis to see you with the kids and that your house’s door would always be opened for them.

As soon as you offered that, they accepted it so from time to time, the kids or Alfred, or even the whole group came around to spend time with you. Of course, you loved to go to parties with the older ones and go to amusement parks with the young boys, but one of the best things was having movie nights together. Just cuddling in the couch of your living room, while enjoying some tasty and healthy (you are fun but also need to take care of your shape to maintain your career) snacks. They didn’t talk about their father and the last thing you knew from them about him was that they had fought over his stupidity. Usually you would act like the peacemaker between them but that wasn’t your job anymore and if you had to be honest, you weren’t interested in working for Bruce again. 

If you don't wanna see me dancing with somebody

If you wanna believe that anything could stop me

(Don't, don't, don't)

Don't show up, don't come out

Don't start caring about me now

Walk away, you know how

Don't start caring about me now ('Bout me now, 'bout me)

You met him at one of your parties. A few months prior you started to host parties and not only attend them like you were doing before. After all, hosting parties was a good opportunity to meet more people that worked in the same field as you and that could help you get more gigs or other types of opportunities. This was one of the most “open to the public” types of parties, some people from the media, famous models, actors, singers, or just the socialites of Metropolis.

When you saw him, the first thing you thought was that he looked quite charming, handsome and even a bit sexy.  Even if, when you saw him, it was just after he was being dumped by a black-haired woman, that you supposed was his (now) ex-girlfriend, in a gorgeous dress; he looked quite charming. In fact, if you had to be honest with yourself, the sight of him being all confused and almost looking like a sad puppy, was quite adorable. So, not wanting to see this handsome and cute man sad anymore, you made your way towards him, grabbing two glasses of wine on your way and just thinking about what you could do to make him smile again, knowing that he probably had the most beautiful smile ever. While you walked towards him, you had to give your greetings to different people that were dancing or drinking around the place. Some of them looked at you with envy and others with desire, it didn’t matter, you only had had for the blue eyed beauty. 

“Hey there, mister…” You said with a little smile on your face while you stopped in front of him, offering one glass to the black haired man and hoping that he was kind enough to tell you his name. 

“Kent, Clark Kent…” He said, while grabbing the glass and looking a little bit awkward. His reaction made you think that maybe he was quite shy around strangers, or maybe being in a party like this wasn’t exactly his scene. Well, you couldn’t blame him, parties weren’t your scene before you started to go to more of them.

If you had to be honest, he really looked like a lost puppy. This fact was making you want to cuddle him and protect him from the psychos (and probably, ex-girlfriends) that lived in this world (luckily for you, most of the psychos lived in Gotham). In fact, you actually cooed towards him and showed him a delicate and caring smile, making him blush softly, and give you a little but nervous smile. You were right, even this type of smile from him, was so gorgeous.

“I’m (Y/N), nice to meet you, Mr Kent,” You said and raised your glass making a little toast. “For our meeting” You finished with a smile on your face and a soft gleam in your eyes, looking quite happy.

“Oh, sure…” He said, also raising his glass. “Wait… (Y/N)? Like the model?” He looked at you directly with a surprised expression on his face.

“The one and only.” You answered with a smirk, loving the fact that he wasn’t polite or kind when you talked to him first because he knew who you were but mostly because that was the way he was. You were done with all the fake people around you that only cared about your new fame and your reputation.

“It’s so good to meet you, thank you so much for the invitation.” He said with a big smile on his face and a soft but amusing gleam on his eyes. Alright, you had to admit that his smile made your heart skip a beat and well,  maybe he wasn’t only a shy puppy like you thought at first. “To be honest, in my work we’ve been trying to get an interview with you for a while… but as you obviously know, you seem to be quite busy.” He said with a soft but deep chuckle, and lord, what a nice and deep voice he had.

“Well, if you are so thankful and want to have an interview… I could use some company,” you said with a little and sly smile while putting your hand on his arm and trying to hide the soft gasp that wanted to escape from your lips when you felt his hard muscles under your touch.

“It would be my pleasure.” He answered you with a smile and offered his arm for you to hang from him, his smile turning into a playful smirk while he noticed your surprise thanks to his body, feeling the sudden need to know you better, to talk to you and maybe, just maybe, to kiss you.

You gave him a little but honest smile. Your eyes shone with the expectations of meeting someone that seemed as interesting as Clark. Inevitably your mind started to wonder about the fact that maybe Clark wasn’t a puppy but a nice wolf ready to play with you if you asked for it. That only thought turned your little smile into a playful one, and in that moment you thought that maybe this party was going to be more promising than what you thought at first.

Up, up

Don't come out, out, out

Don't show up, up, up

Don't start now (Oh)

Up, up

Don't come out, out

I'm not where you left me at all, so

“Babe… babe… baby… honey… love… bunny… Baby!” You said with a soft and a bit needy whine.

“Yes, hun?” Clark said with a small smile on his face, magnificent deep voice making you smile inevitably and since his dark-framed glasses were resting in the little nightstand, his gorgeous blue eyes were looking directly at you while his fingers caressed your cheek.

“Do you really have to go today? Can’t you just… stay here and rest with me? Maybe have some grown-up fun.” You said with a smirk that had the intention of being seductive. 

Of course, calling sex as ‘grown-up fun’ made your boyfriend laugh softly. After all, with you, talking about just fun could be anything, sex, play a video game, run around your house with nerf guns or even, just lay on your bed while cuddling was fun for you. You were just like that, you didn’t need a lot of things or fancy stuff to be happy together and that was so special in your relationship. When you were together, you didn’t need to be the perfect model and the shy but smart journalist, you didn’t need to keep appearances or try to impress the people around you. Clark didn’t need to be the wonderful and perfect hero that he was in front of the citizens when he was showing himself as Superman and you didn’t need to act like a crazy party model, and that was just so perfect. Besides, Dick, Jason, Tim and even Damian loved him. You weren’t sure why they warmed up to him so quickly but you accepted it when they told you that you would know with time. 

“I have to go… you know this mission is important and that the team needs me…” He said with a soft sigh, caressing your face and hair, getting closer to you so you were almost laying on top of him, since you were already cuddling. 

“I can cuddle for a couple of minutes but then I have to fly…” He said with a relaxed smile, knowing that this was going to be enough to keep you happy for a couple of minutes before he had to go. 

Clark hated the idea of leaving you. The idea of going away from home to fight some villain was quite awful for him, since it meant that he was going to leave you alone and unprotected. But he knew that he needed to be there, and he knew that deep down you understood him. After all, he really loved helping people and you were so proud of him because of that.

You knew that Clark was Superman. He had told you about it after you decided to make your relationship official. So, one of your date nights, while you were cuddling in your bed and watching a movie, he had confessed everything. Of course, at first it was hard to believe, almost thinking that he was making some weird type of joke, but after he explained more and showed you that he wasn’t joking, you began to understand different things about his behaviour and his weird explanations for the sudden “work trips”. 

So, you were aware of his different fights and at some point you decided that you weren’t going to just stand there while he fought the bad men and got hurt from time to time. This meant that you decided to help him. Of course, when you told him that you were going to aid him he got quite mad. The idea of you putting yourself in danger just so you could help was something that he did not wish for. So, the fight between the two of you kept going until you talked about the things you thought you could do to help and he realised that you weren’t talking about fighting by his side, but to help him recover from injuries and to write some of the articles he had to do for his daily job. Eventually he accepted the idea and everything was alright again.

Just as he had promised, Clark stayed with you for a few minutes before flying away. You let out a soft sigh and sat down on the bed, knowing that even if your boyfriend was strong and probably more powerful than whoever villain he was going to fight, you couldn’t help but to get worried for his safety. After a few minutes -or half an hour, but who counted, right?- of you worrying for him, you decided to stand up and start to cook for the next day. You were planning to do something simple like a pie or a cake, after all, you wanted to be able to concentrate on the mail meal tomorrow and this was the best way to do so. Clark and you had planned a nice day so he could introduce you to the league and you thought that the best way to do it was to let you host the meeting. You wanted everything to be just perfect, after all, you knew that the league wasn’t only Clark’s colleagues, but also his friends, and you wanted to be accepted with them since the two of you were dating for almost a year. 

If you don't wanna see me dancing with somebody

If you wanna believe that anything could stop me

Don't show up (Don't show up), don't come out (Don't come out)

Don't start caring about me now ('Bout me now)

Walk away (Walk away), you know how (You know how)

Don't start caring about me now (So)

Clark was by your side, his caring and big hands on your waist while you let your back lean on his chest. The two of you were standing in front of a mirror, and while Clark wasn’t wearing the glasses that kept his hero persona hidden, he was in civilian clothes. You were also wearing casual clothing, comforting yourself in his touch while you tried to relax and just avoid the nervousness that was creeping over your throat.

“Everything is going to be fine… they are going to love you, really” Clark said with a big and relaxed smile on his face, trying to calm you while he caressed your body over your clothes.

“Are you sure? Maybe what I cooked won’t be tasty enough… or maybe they hate the dessert… or... “ You started to ramble while leaning even closer to Clark. It was almost as if you were trying to hide under his touch.

“Stop, they are going to love you just as much as I do…” He stopped you in the middle of your rambling, leaving soft kisses on the side of your face and then pulled away, making you turn around so he could kiss your lips briefly. 

You were about to stand up on your toes so you could kiss him again but you stopped when you heard the doorbell ringing. You knew that this sound meant that the league was already on your doorstep, you weren’t sure who would be the first to arrive but you decided that you couldn’t postpone this situation anymore. So you took a deep breath, kissed your boyfriend one more time and then started to walk towards the door of your house, involuntary smiling when you heard Clark’s footsteps right behind you.

In front of you were a couple of people that had kind smiles on their faces. Diana and Barry, like Clark had introduced them to you, were quite kind and easy to talk to. As soon as they arrived they commented about how wonderful your house looked and they talked about the food smell that promised a wonderful meal. Soon enough the four of you were talking and enjoying each other's company while you waited for the rest of the league to arrive. You were in the middle of a story when you heard the doorbell. Clark, being the sweet heart that he usually is with you, went to open the door while you stood up and started to pour more drinks to your visits and the new guests. 

“Well, hun, apparently most of them decided to come at the same time…” Clark said with a chuckle while he entered the house with almost everyone from the league following him. 

“Well, this means that we can start serving lunch, don’t you think, babe?” You turned around with a smile on your face. Smile that disappeared from your face and couldn’t help but gasp while showing your surprise when you saw, not only the kids, but Bruce walking behind your boyfriend. Bruce also looked surprised, and if you had not lost your power to be able to interpret his expressions, he looked a bit horrified. 

“(y/n)?” He asked while looking directly at you, his eyes fixed in your figure standing a few steps away from him. 

You knew you looked different, you knew that seeing you in this house, with a new boyfriend, looking so relaxed and happy wasn’t something he expected. You knew that he didn’t wish for you to be unhappy, but he probably thought that you wouldn’t be able to love somebody in a long time. Oh, he was quite wrong about that. But being totally honest, he didn’t have a right to judge you in any way. After all, the breakup was because he couldn’t keep it in his pants while being with that woman. 

“You are Clark’s partner...?” He said after a few seconds. 

You knew he couldn’t judge you in any way. You knew he didn’t deserve a thing from you after all what he did. You knew all of this. But still, you couldn’t help but shiver while looking at the man that with his affair, pushed you to go away from your city and leave the kids that you considered yours. 

“Long time no see…” You finally said like an answer, while looking at the other man and walking closer to Clark. You man, noticing your reaction, walked the steps that were necessary until he was close enough to put his arm around your waist. It was clear. With this action, Clark was saying “back off”, he knew about your breakup, he wasn’t sure about the circumstances because the one time he asked you explained that you didn’t want to talk about it and he understood. But he knew that there was something wrong with the way you reacted towards Bruce and he wasn’t going to leave you by yourself while you were feeling insecure or bad about something. 

“Why…?” You started to ask while looking at the man in front of you. He was wearing a simple shirt and pants, it wasn’t totally casual but if you thought about it, Bruce was never casual. Still, his attire didn’t explain why he was there like it was fine, like he didn’t enter a place full of superheroes.

“Wait… Are you Batman?” You finally asked while looking at the man with big and a bit surprised eyes. 

Of course, when you were dating you had some suspicions. After all, the man tended to disappear in the middle of the night and then appeared like there was nothing happening. But at that moment, most of your thoughts were about him going to fix some problems in the office. After all, being the owner of a company as big as his wasn’t something easy. So when every time that you asked about him going away, he told you that he was working, you believed him. Certainly like a fool since he was lying to you straight to your face but, still, you believed in him. 

After that train of thoughts you couldn’t help but think about your kids, and then about the young heroes that were with Batman from time to time, and as easy as adding two plus two, you had the whole picture in your mind. At that moment you were ready to yell at him, to explode with rage towards the man who endangered your children without even caring if you knew about it or not. Because yes, your relationship with Bruce was brief and quite rushed (biggest example; being engaged to the man after months of dating) but since the moment you met the kids you knew that they were your children and that you had to protect them. You were ready to scream with anger towards him but you stayed quiet, not really because you wanted to, but because at that exact moment Bruce had no better idea than to talk again..

“I know that you already made all the connections about it but yes, (y/n), I’m Batman… now, care to explain why you are dating Clark?” He asked looking at you like you’ve done something bad. Like he had the right to judge you and lecture you about your love life.  

“Well, Bruce…” You started while putting your hand over Clark’s free hand, caressing the fingers that weren’t hugging your waist like he was ready to fly away at any moment. 

“I don’t really have to explain anything to you, you know? In fact, I feel like I’m the one who needs an explanation, maybe about the fact that you are my ex-fiancé and I didn’t know about your little hero persona, or about how you decided to hid from me the fact that my kids are also heroes and that they are in danger every night without me knowing about it…” You said while looking at the man that surprisingly looked a bit nervous under your gaze, then you looked at the children who shifted nervously and looked a bit scared when you told them that the conversation with them was going to be later. 

“(y/n), you are a civilian, if you knew about all the hero stuff, you would be in danger.” Bruce said in a tone that pretended to show him as calm and collected. But you knew him, at least, you knew this part of him. Bruce was scared, he was nervous because he didn’t even think about him being caught by you. Maybe he thought about you being so dumb that you never noticed the signs of him being Batman or maybe he just didn’t expect for you to discover him since you have broken up a while ago, in any case, it didn’t matter since you did discovered him. 

“Yeah, try another thing buddy… also, me being in a relationship with Clark? Because yes, Bruce, we are in a relationship, it isn’t your concern, you are my ex fiancé, because you wanted to be my ex fiancé, you ruined our relationship and that made me walk away…” You made a pause while you looked how he seemed almost hurt by your words. Clark’s hold on you became a bit more tight, but he didn’t say anything, knowing that you needed to do this by yourself so you could be calm again. He was also quiet because he was really surprised by the whole situation. To be honest, the whole group that was around you (except your kids because they knew that their father was an asshole towards you and they knew how the whole relationship ended) was watching the interaction with surprise in their eyes. After all, it was surprising the idea of seeing someone snap at Bruce and even more surprising the fact that he seemed affected because of it.

“So, Bruce… I won’t be against you being here and enjoying a nice evening with the league, children and my boyfriend… But I won’t allow you to come to my house and to demand for an explanation that you don’t deserve… are we clear?” You finished talking while crossing your arms over your chest and looking directly at the man that you could finally say was nothing to you. For a few seconds, Bruce remained in silence, looking at you with a frown on his face. Confusion, anger and maybe a bit of regret were all over his face in an expression that you couldn’t fully interpret. He almost seemed conflicted, but when you thought that he was going to argue with you, he just let out a sigh and looked at you with a sad smile.

“Yes, (y/n), thank you for inviting us to yours and Clark’s home…” He said towards you before nodding and starting to walk inside your living room. 

Soon enough, the children hugged you and after a few words of apology for keeping their secret identities from you, they walked inside the living room being followed by the rest of the league. All of them greeting you and complimenting the decorations of the house. The rest of the day was spent in the middle of conversations, eating food, you being complimented for your cooking skills, and fun stories that helped to clear the air between you and Bruce. You weren’t friends, you weren’t going to try to be friends, but at least you weren’t hostile towards one another and it was all thanks to the people around you. 

When the sunlight started to disappear and the food was almost over, the members of the league considered you a new friend and they slowly started to go towards their houses. After talking with the children, you came to the agreement that they were going to stay with Clark and you for the weekend. Then, when almost everybody was gone, you stood while leaning on the door frame of your house, Bruce was in front of you, looking directly towards you with a smile on his face that didn’t reach his eyes. He wasn’t faking the smile, but you knew that like before, this smile was full of sadness. 

“I lose you forever, right?” He asked softly, almost in a whisper and like a year ago, you remembered him whispering the same voice a quite adorable and caring ‘I love you…’ 

“Yes…” You answered and put your hand on his cheek, smiling towards him with the same sad and tired smile that you couldn’t help but to show him.

“Does he make you happy? Really happy?” He asked and you just closed your eyes while nodding before opening them again when you felt his hand caressing yours. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you… It’s good that you are happy and I hope that we see each other again...” He said before pulling away and starting to walk towards his car before going inside and driving away.

You weren’t friends, you probably would never be friends again, and you knew that he was sorry, that he missed you. But you were sure that he knew that he lost you at the moment he even thought about cheating on you. He knew that you weren’t going to be back with him, and that being back in your life would be hard and painful for you and him. So he did what he thought was for the best and walked away. If some day you wanted to give him an opportunity to be friends, he would be grateful and take it, but he wasn’t going to show up again to try to win you back just so he ended up ruining everything. He wasn’t going to hurt you again if he could avoid it. 

Up, up

Don't come out, out, out

Don't show up, up, up

Walk away, walk away (So)

Up, up

Don't come out, out, out

Don't show up, up, up

Walk away, walk away, oh