#like I think I've got something there but there is a better way conceptualize it and present it or at least better word choices

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

[franticbindings]

Seasonal Storytelling

(A fictional tradition for structuring stories - novels, plays, etc.)

A storytelling tradition where works are constructed and understood through the lens of the natural seasons and their procession. The most traditional form of this kind of work would begin in one season and progress through the remaining three. There is not generally considered to be a "correct" season to begin in, though various authors and subcultures have their preferences.

The exact mood and narrative conventions that correspond with each season have varied over time and from place to place, but many draw from the following rough correspondences and so Seasonal Stories that begin in the same season will follow similar narrative arcs.

Spring Spring is a time for beginnings, making plans, setting things to right and unexpected good fortune. Characters are almost never focused on preventing something from coming to pass. Its primary mood is hope, but would be more accurately defined by a tendency to reject Autumn's defining mood of fear. Worries are dismissed, or come from characters that are themselves dismissed, and the overall tone of the play determines if this is for good or ill. Attempts to prevent change fail, or lead to bad outcomes.

Summer Summer is a time for action and emotions that drive characters to act; love and conflict flourish as characters brashly follow their drives. It has a primary mood of passion, but would be more generally characterized by the rejection of Winter's primary mood of reflection. Characters rarely spend time to consider their own motives or the consequences of their actions. When they do, they usually remain committed to their course; in cases where they change their minds, or fail to act thereby, they might find that they lose their opportunity or that their lack of conviction complicates things for the worse.

Autumn Autumn is a time for consequences but also the unexpected. Characters that have courted disaster will face it, while those who have cultivated joy will confront a final hurdle or unexpected threat to it. Characters will act to avert these outcomes and may or may not succeed. The overall mood of Autumn is fear, though it could be more accurately considered a rejection of Spring's hope. Characters worry and are anxious about what will happen, find little comfort in hope offered to them and find any trust they place solely in hope betrayed.

Winter Winter is a time of melancholy, peace, endings, stillness and introspection. This is usually thought of as the point where characters are at their lowest - a character brought low will linger in their misfortunes, unable or unwilling to struggle further; however, Winter also encompasses being happy, or at least satisfied with your fate, and finding peace. Winter's primary mood is reflection, but is more defined by the negation of Summer's passion; emotions are often muted and generally act as an inhibiting force for action. Those who do find themselves fired up midwinter rarely make meaningful progress, winning only symbolic victories at best and frequently ending up worse than they started.

These conceptions traditionally play out with the following arcs, depending on how many seasons the work progresses through. A season could be as short as a single scene or comprise of the bulk of a given work. The notation for how this is represented is an indicator of the season followed by how many total seasons are encompassed. Summer-4 begins in Summer and goes through Autumn, Winter and Spring. Spring Start - The characters face a new opportunity, pursue it, deal with the consequences of their efforts and then we see their new status quo. Winter is commonly excluded or abbreviated for Spring Start works, so as to not undercut the drama of Autumn. Summer Start - The characters are pursuing some goal, attain it or don't, linger in the aftermath of that and then get some sign of what the future may hold. Tragedies often elide Spring, and some stories extend the cycle past Spring through the next Autumn or Winter.

Autumn Start - The most challenging initial season to apply to a traditional 4 season play. Characters begin in a time of tribulation and then the fallout of that is explored. Many autumn starts end there, with some continuing on to foreshadow future events. Those that proceed into the characters acting on the opportunities of Spring typically proceed through Summer into at least Autumn, unless cliffhangers are in vogue.

Winter Start - The characters begins stuck in some fashion, find a new opportunity, pursue it and then confront their fates.

[goldenwilliamson]

would you maybe be able to write a fic for leah where the reader is a famous singer and goes to an arsenal or england game and then gets to meet the team after and leah is secretly a huge fan trying to play it cool (kind of like becks/posh)???

fan behaviour | leah williamson

pairing: leah williamson x reader

a/n: love this ask, feel like i miiight have read something similar to this but can't remember who wrote it, so apologies for conceptual similarities if there is any. also i reference reader wearing leah's no. 8 england jersey even though leah has worn many different numbers for england lol.

summary: reader is a famous singer who goes to an england game and goes back to meet the girls after, not knowing leah williamson thinks she is the fittest woman to walk the earth. leah's fellow lionesses taking the piss out of her a bit for her crush. reader finding it endlessly endearing, as you would.

word count: 2.1k

When you had asked your manager if she could organise getting you tickets to see the Lionesses play, you hadn't expected that your love for the women's team would be reciprocated in any way. So you were pleasantly surprised when your manager informed you that the team wanted to meet you after the game, and agreed immediately.

You had briefly met a few of the players already at a GQ event last year, and on that occasion you had found yourself completely infatuated with the captain Leah Williamson. You had watched on in the Euros as she lead the team out with such confidence and from there you had definitely developed a small crush on the footballer. You had even sourced yourself a number 8 Williamson jersey to wear to the final at Wembley.

After the historic final you shared a photo of yourself and your family donned proudly in your England jerseys to your instagram that night with the caption 'claiming the title of the @lionesses biggest fan. the girls brought it home ⚽️🔥❤️'. Little did you know that when Leah saw your post, she had made sure everyone on the team had seen that you were wearing her jersey. She couldn't believe her eyes, or that a musician of your status was posting about the Lionesses. In a simple display of mutual affection, Leah liked the post and left a comment saying 'The feeling is mutual, thanks for the love x'.

It wasn't until later in the year that the two of you had finally met at the GQ Men of the Year event after the Euros. You had seen her across the room and made a shamless beeline for her. Though no introductions were necessary, you both introduced yourselves, and right off the bat Leah mentioned the fact that you had posted a photo of yourself in her jersey. You tried your best to play it cool, but you certainly were blushing, which Leah only found more endearing.

"I've got to back the captain haven't I?" You'd told her.

"I'm not complaining, it looked better on you than it does on me," she responded flirtatiously with practised ease.

"You're making me blush now," you pat your cheeks, feeling the warmth of your face.

"Surely you get people complimenting you in every room you walk into," Leah said matter of factly, only flattering you further.

"Leah Williamson, stop inflating my ego!" You laughed, "You live a far more respectable life than I do, and you manage to look this bloody good while doing it," you motion up and down her body with your hands to her outfit, completely blown away by her ability to look so damn good in and out of kit.

"Well I'll take the compliment, but I'll have you know I have a great respect for you and your music," she says sincerely.

"Thank you, I guess it's my turn to take the compliment too," you tell her, and sadly your conversation is cut short by an announcement that the award ceremony is about to commence and that everyone must move to their seats. The rest of the night your mind was occupied with thoughts of the English captain, especially since she was honoured with multiple speeches of people singing her praises.

And while you couldn't have known it, Leah's mind was filled with you. After that night she had strictly listened to your music on repeat for weeks, much to the annoyance of her teammates who demanded something else be played since it was Leah who had the role of team DJ.

A few months later when you decided to secure tickets to the Arnold Clark Cup game in Milton Keynes, you had secretly hoped you might get another encounter with Leah, and your manager had confirmed this at the start of the night.

When the girls were in the change room before hand, news began to travel that you were in the crowd, but it hadn't reached Leah until she queued up one of your songs in the pre-game playlist and realisation dawned on Ella Toone's face.

"Can you believe Y/N Y/L/N is here? Apparently she's going to come say hello after the game," Ella said.

"Is she really?" Leah said, her voice coming out squeaky, the excitement evident.

"Oh good Lee, maybe you can just ask her out like a normal human instead of listening to her like an obsessive fan," Georgia Stanway said loud enough for every one to hear, making the team laugh.

"Give it a rest," Leah shook her head, but she smiled, knowing Georgia had a point.

Leah knew she had spent way too much time thinking about you for only having met you that one time, but she couldn't help it. She definitely felt there was a little chemistry in your brief conversation at the GQ event. She tried not to let herself believe that but, after all, you were one of the most famous artists in the world, and she was just a footballer. She wasn't even sure that you dated women. Either way, the idea that you were in the crowd made her want to put in a good performance.

From your posh seats, which you felt extremely lucky to be in, you were enthralled in the game, cheering as loud as anyone when the girls scored their 4 goals against South Korea. You'd even come wearing a Williamson Jersey under your coat, and throughout the game your eye was consistently drawn to the blonde defender who charmed you those months ago.

When the game ended one of the many people working behind the scenes for the Lionesses came to find you at your seat to escort you and your manager through the back of the stadium down to where the team was.

You could hear the sound of Murder On The Dancefloor playing loudly as you followed your escort towards the change room where the team was clearly celebrating their win. The girls were mostly too busy dancing and shouting along with the song to notice your entrance, which made you smile. You didn't want to disrupt their celebrations by any means, but the woman who brought you down had cleared her throat to get the girls attention.

"Sorry to interrupt ladies, but I've got someone special here who has kindly come to say hello!" She announces to the room and instantly the heads turn your way.

You flash a smile and wave as the music gets turned down, "Sorry to show up in the middle of such a good song," you apologise.

"Are you kidding me? The music can wait, you're Y/N bloody Y/L/N," Ella said, making you laugh.

"And you're Ella bloody Toone, it's so good to meet you. I'm a huge fan of you all," You said, expressing your love for the entire team, looking around the room. Even though you've brushed shoulders with more celebrities than you can count, staring into a room of footballers you admire felt extremely surreal.

"We're fans of yours, especially Leah," Georgia says, gesturing across the room with her thumb towards Leah who you were only managing to see now.

She stood resting against the wall with her arms crossed, shaking her head, "Thanks for that G."

You decide it's getting a bit awkward with everyone staring at you, as if you're about to give a half time pep talk so you try to diffuse the situation a little.

"Well I'd love to get around and have a chat with all of you, but please put your music on and do your thing, I feel silly standing up here in front of you all," you say, smiling.

"You heard her girls, stop staring, play the music Leah," Millie Bright said instructively and you watched as Leah picked her phone up and pressed play on the music.

Instantly many went back to singing along to the Sophie Ellis-Bextor classic, and you made your way over towards Georgia Stanway giving her a hug hello, and sitting down with her for a chat.

"That penalty was unreal," you told Georgia, referring to the goal she scored in the game. You spoke with her easily, feeling like you were catching up with a friend.

You continued to move your way around the room, chatting with some of the girls individually and with some in smaller groups. While they all had compliments for you and questions to ask, you met them with the exact same energy. The room quickly filled up with more people who work for the team and friends and family which made you feel less like you were a lucky fan who had orchestrated a private meet and greet with the team.

The whole time you were in the room you were looking for Leah out of the corner of your eye, wanting to save her for a bit later so you could get some more time to talk with her. Once you'd basically made your rounds of the room chatting to the players and their family members you finally made your way over to Leah.

"Saving the best for last?" Leah smirks at you as you approach.

"Well I'm not one to pick favourites, but I did wear my Williamson jersey tonight," you say, pushing open your coat to show off the white England jersey tucked loosely into your pants.

"I can't get over you wearing my shirt," Leah said, her pearly white teeth on full display, which you reflected with your own face.

"Is it surreal for you? Since I hear you're such a big fan of mine and all," you say, reference Georgia's little quip from earlier which didn't fly under your radar.

"Oh, she's got banter," Leah says, an eyebrow raised.

"She tries," you shrug your shoulders.

"Well if you must know, yes I'm a fan. I may even have been told off for playing too much of your music around the girls," she admits, "But you've got my name on your back so I'd say the feeling is mutual."

"Oh, it's definitely mutual, if anything I'm underplaying how big of a fan I am," you say, your honesty laced with sarcasm.

Leah smiles, "Well if we're being honest I'm really glad you came today, I was disappointed we didn't get to chat more back at that GQ event," Leah says earnestly.

"So was I! I actually tried to find you later that night but had no luck," you said.

"Oh, you did? I was probably just sitting with Alex Scott chatting her ear off about how fit you are," Leah says, her forwardness catching you off guard just slightly.

"Well just as well I came here today then," you said, dropping your voice slightly and leaning in closer to her ear, "Because I haven't stopped thinking about you since that night."

"Well what do you say we get together for coffee soon and we can gush over each other some more?" Leah offers and you light up at the idea.

"I'd say that's a great idea," you nod, laughing, "Here let me give you my number," you motion towards the phone in her hand and she unlocks it, handing it over to you. You open her contacts and create a new one for you.

"Alright, all done," you hand her phone back to her, feeling your heart beating in your chest.

"Perfect, well, Y/N, it was a pleasure to see you again," Leah says, opening her arms for a hug, which you slip into gladly.

"Yes, always a pleasure. Make sure you text me later, don't leave me hanging," you say in your embrace, knowing that you're close enough to Leah that the other girls might not hear.

"I wouldn't dare," Leah promises.

"Alright, good," you smile as you step away.

Now that your conversation has come to an end Leah turns back to the rest of the girls, most of whom are watching your and Leah's interaction very closely.

"Alright girls, Y/N is heading off now, say your goodbyes," Leah says, using what you think must be her captain voice, sounding very assertive.

"Bye guys, it's been so good to meet you all," you tell everyone as they all say goodbye and thank you for coming. You embrace almost everyone in a hug as you slowly making your way back around to the door where your manager waits for you.

You give one last wave goodbye, and have one last look at Leah who is watching every move of yours with a small smile on her face. She waves at you as you look at her and with that you turn and leave the room.

As you walk through the stadium to the back entrance where a car is waiting for you, your manager asks how you're feeling after meeting all the girls.

You giggle like you're a teenager again as you tell her, "I think I have a date with Leah Williamson."

[max1461]

I feel like. Ok. The internet is full of people who are sad/depressed/mentally ill as like. like they feel like and act like it's part of their being, you know, it's part of their self conception. And I've never felt this way, I mean I've had ocd all my life but mostly it's just felt like an annoyance (even at the times when it was genuinely really disruptive to my life), like I'm at my core a happy and optimistic person and there was just this annoying thing that would get in the way sometimes, and then I would manage to brush it aside and I'd be back to basically enjoying my life. ya know? That's always the way that I've felt.

Except since the pandemic, after the various things that have happened, I've felt really different. I've felt really kind of, depressed and anxious in a deep way, a way that doesn't feel like an annoyance, it feels really troubling. And part of it is "clinical", I mean like, my ocd itself got really really bad in the pandemic and that was a huge part of what has fucked me up so much. but part of it is just like, certain things that have happened in my life, that have made me feel really sad and pessimistic.

but what's really troubling about this is like. I think when I talk about this online, people kind of respond the way you would respond to the (much more common) type of guy who just "is depressed", like, as a condition of his existence (or at least, the type of guy who self-conceptualizes that way). and like, this makes sense, but I'm not that type of guy, and I don't really think the same things will like, help me. uh. I think this is why I get better advice with this stuff on reddit sometimes, because reddit guys seem like they generally self-conceptualize as like "average joes", as so their advice doesn't assume that you think of yourself as like... you know, at odds with the modern world or something, or like, whatever. like they assume you're just a "regular joe feeling down" or whatever. which is kind of better.

but the other thing is like. talking to people irl, I have a completely different problem. which is that they "want me to be happy" as an end in itself (because, being my family members, they don't like to see me sad), but they have a more ambivalent relationship to the things that are actually making me unhappy. Like they're not really "on my side" in a deep way, even though they care about me and believe they are on my side. They don't like to see me sad bad they're, well, they're not invested at the object level in my life moving in the direction I would like it to move. it's like. the involuntary wireheading debate, right? if that existed, well, they probably wouldn't involuntarily wirehead me... but they would totally want to, and think about it a lot. and this is how they approach their relationship with me in general. so getting advice or help from them is kind of dangerous. like, they care about me but they aren't really my allies. I actually think this is a rather common position to find oneself in with family, and it's very uncomfortable.

[me-beef]

A collection of Fell art I don't think I've ever posted before. This is all art I've made in the last year, those first pics being done in January/February-ish? It's been fun to see how much my art has developed since then :) So, something I'm sure I've mentioned before, I have RSD- or rejection sensitive dysphoria. For the last decade or so, it's controlled a large portion of my life and has dictated a lot of what I've been able to do. It used to be a lot worse- like, eating-lunch-alone-in-the-bathroom-everyday-at-school-because-I'd-have-a-panic-attack-if-I-tried-to-go-into-the-cafeteria type of bad. Or, having-a-panic-attack-because-a-girl-complimented-my-socks-and-I-was-CERTAIN-she-was-actually-implying-I-was-a-stupid-idiot-loser-baby type of bad. It's made it really hard to make friends and maintain relationships, because a part of my brain truly believes the people around me don't want me there, or that it's better for me to be quiet and out of the way than to risk doing something "wrong" and drawing the ire of everyone around me. It was something that I was really ashamed of for the longest time. I didn't understand what I was feeling or why I acted the way that I did, I just wanted everyone around me to be happy and I felt like I was doing everything wrong and making everything worse just by being present in any given situation.

So- what ended up working for me? How did I start moving forward? Years of counseling and therapy? Yeah. Medication? That too. But do you want to know what really ended up changing my life this year? I made a character to conceptualize and encapsulate all of my anxieties and traumas, took my condition, and made it her superpower. This is already getting long, so I'll add some bits about her character under the cut:

In a ⋆˙⟡dramatic⋆˙⟡ and ⋆˙⟡tragic⋆˙⟡ childhood event, Fell's heart was fused with a star. It sounds like a magical-girl dream- but for Fell, it's only ever been a curse. Whenever her emotions flare, she has an uncontrollable surge of magic. Sometimes, that wild magic can scare or even hurt the people around her. She's become terrified of her own emotions- and that fear only exacerbate her "curse". So, she isolates herself- not out of a fear of others, but out of a fear of hurting those around her. When I was a kid, there weren't really any characters out there that I felt like I could truly identify with. Sure, I've seen social anxiety addressed in media throughout my life, but nothing that I felt really captured the full complexities of what I was experiencing in my day-to-day. Plus, I feel like those characters rarely got to be the heroes of the story. So, all that to say, Fell is the hero that I wish I had gotten to have as a kid. Starlight Saga (working title), or Legends of ZahKol, is the story and world that I built around the lessons I've learned in my journey of overcoming my anxiety and RSD. I can't give that to my past self, but my dream is to one day share it with the world- for other people out there like me, to help them and give them hope and let them know how strong they really are for fighting day in and day out. That these parts of yourself don't mean you're broken or damaged or wrong- these are tied to the most resilient, most beautiful parts of who you are.

[kings-highway]

i saw u were giving ur thoughts abt rare pairs and i wanted to know what you think about kurokita if ur down!!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 🤔

I haven't really thought that much about these two in particular. Even if I love all the captains in every rotation. But.... welll.............

I think the funniest immediate dynamic that comes to head is that we've got Mr. Down Home "It Ain't Much but It's Honest" versus "Captialist Rex" which honestly I am not an enemies to lovers kinda person but if you wanted to make a hallmark movie-

Dear Kita has to come into the city and he's only there to help a family member sell at a local artisan market, and they've got a little shop set up, and Kuroo is basically classic entrepenurial spirit like "wow you could really make a business out of this little set up" and Kita says "get my name out of your mouth right now" and-

Actually hang on I'm kinda into this conceptually. Because Kita's, like, mean. Canonically. He's not like most of the other captains that like, mince words or try and keep people's morals up, up he straight up tells people to stop making mistakes and to be better, like... I don't know if Kuroo has a lot of people like that in his life that would hold a knife to his throat and tell him to be a better human being or the Gods will send him to hell.

I do think Kuroo could easily absolutely fall in love with this downhome kind of simple logic Kita has, very yes sir, thank you ma'am, let's get our work done, but in the way that what Kuroo might be missing in his very corporate life is a little bit of home comfort, somewhere to come back and rest his head and feel fulfilled. And I can imagine the first few nights he stays over on the farm rest him like nothing has ever rested him, and once Kita actually lets him talk about *why* he's climbing to the top of the volleyball managerial ladder (to lower the net for everybody!) Kita almost instantly falls in love. To put that much work into an ideal, to commit to something he cares about that hard and put that many hours a day in, that's something Kita can support, whatever it is.

Anyway Kita would absolutely make him little homemade bento boxes with cute little notes to take to work and then sometimes when Kuroo's messed up he'll leave very aggressive little notes.

Kita tries to pretend he doesn't think Kuroo is attractive at all, but (before they're together) he catches him sleeping on the bed with his shirt off and almost has an aneurism

Kuroo is pretty sure every time Kita smiles a year gets added to his life.

Atsumu finds out Kuroo (yes, that Kuroo!) is dating his former captain and Osamu has to stop him from sending a strongly worded letter to the editor regarding why Kita should absolutely break up with him right now do not trust the black cat do NOT

Anyway also I forgot to include somewhere in the original hallmark enemies-to-lovers triad that they have to hardcore hate fuck atleast once. I think they could do it. Better than other rarepairs i've thought about I think they could.

Overall Rating:

For Me, Personal Interest: 2/10

Personal Interest for Enemies to Lovers Country Boy v Coporate Man: 10/10 send me this fic right now. (and I don't even like enemies to lovers-)

Concept/Potential: 3.5/10?

Concept/Potential as Aforementioned Hallmark Movie: 10/10 oh my god I want it now??? I talked myself into this.

[spockandawe]

Hello hello! I'm sleepy and bored at work, but still have two meetings to go, and THEN I stumbled across an ask game a themed reading list! I got linked to it here by a friend, and I've been reading a surprising amount this year compared to what I usually manage, so let's goooo

Author you've read the most books from:

Oh man. This has to be either Terry Pratchett or Mercedes Lackey, even though I haven't gone through the WHOLE catalog for either one. Let's look this up? Wow, more of a difference than i was expecting: Terry Pratchett, 39. Mercedes Lackey, 63.

Best Sequel Ever:

Oh, that's so hard! Arguably Thud! by Terry Pratchett counts, but looking that late in a long series feels like cheating. I'm going to say either Ancillary Sword (imperial radch #2) by Anne Leckie, or The Siren Depths (books of the raksura #3), by Martha Wells. The earlier books hooked me, but then these ones just put me in the salad spinner and went to town.

Currently Reading (12/'24):

Too many 🥲 I won't even get into mangas and manhwas here, lmao.

Evil As Humans by Nian Zhong

I Became A God In A Horror Game by Pot Fish Chili

SSS-Class Suicide Hunter by Shin Noah

Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint by Sing Shong

The Guild Member Next Door by Honeytrap (this hasn't snagged me yet, but the manhwa is extremely charming, i mayyy just stick to that)

Star Instructor, Master Baek (loved the manhwa, NEED full prose context, haha)

Drink of Choice While Reading:

I read a lot on walks, so none, really! If I'm reading in bed i might make tea or grab something cold and bubbly, but i tend to get too immersed to remember my beverages.

E-reader or Physical Book:

E-reader. I was that weird kid who always carried around like five books, and this is so much better. It's faster, it's more convenient, I can word search, it's easier to share snippets with friends, it suits all my needs beautifully. The caveat. Is that I dont trust the permanence of digital media at ALL, especially if drm is involved, so i really try to own physical copies of everything i LOVE.

Fictional Character You Probably Would Have Dated in High School:

Oh god, dating, the worst activity. Ummm. Gosh. See. My trouble here is that I have chronically terrible instincts for who is actually good romantic interest material in real life, and that problem was SO MUCH WORSE as a teenager. Let's say Sha Hualing. Is this ending well for me? Nope!

Glad You Gave This Book a Chance:

'C Language Cultivation' by Yi Shi Si Zhou! I'm an engineer, but god, i am not a programmer. But I'm so glad I went into this book anyways! I was able to MOSTLY get pulled along for the ride when characters talked programming, and I think its SUCH an interesting way to conceptualize cultivation in a modern setting. And then on top of that, the plot went crunch and did some really interesting things! I would have balked at this one normally, but it really worked for me.

Hidden Gem Book:

'Evil As Humans' by Nian Zhong. I really need to rave about this one more, because it's one of the best cnovels I've ever read, and I'm so sad it took me this long to catch word of it. I'm not done yet, because i got overwhelmed by Emotions and was afraid of running out of book so I stopped reading, like a dumbass. It's so so so so good. It's got everything. It's got fascinating worldbuilding, amazing characters, glorious imagery, BEEFY plot, and one of my favorite relationships I've ever read. I would recommend this book whether or not someone has read a cnovel in their life before. And it's so sad that hardly anyone talks about it!

Important Moment in Your Reading Life:

Ooh, I think.... that moment in the peak pandemic days when I was finally intrigued enough to check out MDZS. First, I devoured it and it was SO good. Second, I kept reading cnovels. Third, my passion for cnovels got me into bookbinding. This really made a notable impression on the course of my life since then, which I frankly wasn't expecting at this age!

Just Finished:

Hmmm. I'm not FINISHED, but I'm caught up to the current translation of 'The Hunter's Gonna Lay Low' by Baek Sam. The translator said they would hopefully be catching at the end of this month, and god, I really hope so, this book lodged inside my ribcage.

Longest Book You've Read:

'The Husky and his White Cat Shizun' by Meatbun. It's 1.2 million words. If I ever finish ORV that will dethrone it, but for the love of god, montressor

Major Book Hangover:

Haha, any book I like tends to leave me hung over! I notice especially for the cnovels because they're so long and I get my emotions spun up so high, but it's definitely a regular feature. The only time this doesn't happen is if it's a series like Murderbot when I can immediately press on to the next book, until the inevitable SERIES hangover.

Number of bookcases:

Oh, unfair, the sizes vary wildly. In my house, let me see. There's a BIG built-in bookcase in the basement that has most of my prose fiction and craft books. Basement bedroom has a freestanding bookshelf that might be for art instructional books and art supplies, but im still rearranging.

Upstairs, i have a wide/short bookshelf that's also a tv stand, but it's split between western comics and board games. Kitchen has a teeny wall-mounted set of shelves with my cookbooks. Dining room has a buffet where my shortlisted craft books are stored (so I don't have to get them from the basement).

And upstairs, my pink bedroom has two. There's a small built-in that's for my manga collection and small zines. And there's a corner bookshelf that's for sheet music and coffee table books. I think that's everything!

Preferred Place to Read:

On long walks 🥺 It's so nice. I like it so much. The weather is hostile to my fingeys at this time of year, I need to drag out my various fingerless gloves and scatter them in convenient places so i remember yo grab them. Other than that, curled up in bed, either lying down or sitting against a back pillow.

Quote That Inspires You:

Oh gosh. I dont remember quotes very well. And 'inspire' might be the wrong word. But a number of Terry Pratchett ones stick with me, he really just was an incredibly memorable writer

It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.

-Terry Pratchett, 'Soul Music'

Reading Regret:

I don't regret reading books! Even the ones I hate. If I'm not getting something out of the experience, I'm hideously adhd to begin with, I will probably forget to finish rather than even consciously decide to quit. If I have a regret, maybe... I have a lot of other hobbies and obligations, and there are SO many books I wish I'd already read. I regret not prioritizing reading more in my life, even though I'm sure that in this AU, I'd have brand new regrets instead 😂

Series You Started and Need to Finish:

Mmmmm... Imperial Radch. I read the first trilogy l, the short stories, and Provenance. I just haven't been able to find the right headspace to start Translation State. I'm sure I'll love it! But I haven't done it yet.

Three of Your All-Time Favorite Books:

Agonizing!

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

Unapologetic Fan for:

The Books of the Raksura, by Martha Wells!! I love murderbot, but i LOOOOVE the raksura books, they deserve more appreciation

Very Excited for This Release:

Alecto the Ninth please im begging on hands and knees 🤣

Worst Bookish Habit:

Look, I am. Very adhd. I will accept your rec with great excitement and make a reminder to myself to go check out this book asap. Then i will also forage for my own new books, because it's good enrichment in my enclosure. Let's not ask what my follow-through numbers are like. Shh, don't worry about it.

X Marks The Spot: Start at the top left of your shelf and pick the 27th book:

Oh, this is gonna drive me nuts. I'm at work, but i HAVE a picture. The resolution, however--

It's the slim hot pink and black paperback. It's an Agatha Christie, and I'm almost positive it's 'The Mysterious Affair At Styles.' But I can't find this edition online to confirm. The book to its left is 'Any Way The Wind Blows' by Rainbow Rowell, the one left of that is 'Alta' by Mercedes Lackey, the one to its right is the complete Sherlock Holmes, and the one right of that is 'Sleeping Beauty' by Mercedes Lackey, so I know my books pretty well! But that ONE. Is driving me nuts 😂

Your Latest Book Purchase:

'Tiger Tiger' by Petra Erika Nordlund! It's sitting on the shelf next to my front door, and I'm POSITIVE I'll enjoy it, but the stars haven't been aligned for me to start it yet, expecially because i do read so much on my phone but i think graphic novels are a Must for physical purchases. If i have digital purchase of comics, they're probably redundant with my physical copies. They're just as ephemeral as prose ebooks, but so much larger to store 😂

ZZZ-snatcher book (last book that kept you up WAY late):

Ooh, that's probably 'I Became A God In A Horror Game' by Pot Fish Chili. This is an interesting one, because between story arcs I lose momentum and take a longgggg pause. But then DURING story arcs, I can't put the silly thing down. It's gripping as HELL.

[tiredassmage]

I always find it so FASCINATING how you play through the same story (IA of course) with multiple characters and see how each new dynamic plays out, because I just don’t work that way xD I put one lil guy into one situation and then nobody else gets to be there, it’s been claimed. So it’s very neat to see a more varied approach and watch each new take and how they add to your relationship with the story!

THAMK you!!!! I also find it really fascinating, which I guess is my fuel for doing it. xD It's admittedly one of the several things I have done in playing SWTOR that I never would have guessed I'd do when I started playing - and, to be fair, there are certain stories that I'm sorta that way about! And perhaps if everyone will indulge me, I'm gonna take this as an excuse to ramble about what I enjoy both about this particular class, and SWTOR as a whole, really.

but first I'll take an excuse to post my main 3 (so far) agent boys :3

from left to right then: tyr, alucren, and nikihlus!

Part of the agent storyline being so attractive to me personally is I'm sure, for better or worse, that I'm admittedly a sucker for a spy action flick, and since it's kind of my exact cup of tea, there feels to be a level of variance in how it plays out and how a character can interpret their experiences within it that's delightful for me to dive into and tear apart like a dog with new stuffed toy, lol.

I've played all eight class stories I think at least twice now, and several of them, clearly, far more than that, so I think one of the overall continuously endearing things about the game is that any of those eight can be someone's Thing. Everyone's got their favorites and I really, truly, after several spins through them all, don't think there's really a single bad class story. Finding the right character to pick apart what really makes a story tick for you, personally, I think is where... some of the challenge can occur.

I, for example, enjoy, conceptually, Consular, Inquisitor, and Trooper, but the first two of those I outright don't have a canon character "filling" that role, and Trooper I only have halfsies because my favorite run of that is actually Tyr's AU where I dropped him in the Trooper story for kicks and it changed my entire outlook on what I'd previously considered one of the more lacking class stories to the point where I think I might owe Aric Jorgan a personal apology letter and I'd even consider advocating for the story now. All of these stories I still think are good, fun, and interesting, but I haven't found a character whom I enjoy seeing in the role they play, if that makes sense.

What I at least enjoy about any of the characters I keep bringing back up here that I've played is that their viewpoints and experiences are pretty distinct to me. Even within my agents - and maybe especially with them, they all come at the role of Cipher with very different backgrounds and perspectives. Pretty much all three of them I've learned a lot more about since creating them, as you do when characters change over the course of a story and you point them at things that challenge their thinking, but their... fundamental, pre-Intelligence backgrounds greatly inform how they handle the rest of... everything. And only one of them is my canonical Cipher Nine; that honor remains with Tyr; Alucren's designation is Cipher Eleven, and Nikihlus's is Cipher Seven, respectively, but they've also... both kinda run away from me and since I have such a feel for who they are, it's also incredibly interesting to tackle the story as if they do belong there, in that particular role - because it tells me something about them that's not just applicable there.

And also, it's just... really fun for me to compare them like yardsticks against each other, lol. And it's a fun little exercise in appreciating the why of how different their playthroughs and experiences are. The short of them is that Tyr's the most idealistic of the three, the agent of change - a double agent for the SIS because he believes in something bigger and greater and ideals are enough to motivate him. Alucren's a loyalist - to the Empire, and to the Sith beyond that. Born and raised Imperial just like Tyr, but where Tyr came from some of the cracks in that society as an orphan (according to official records, at least) raised in a not-quite-family resulting from a marital alignment between a Sith and a naval officer, Alucren is relatively silver spoon-born - from a fairly prominent and historically loyal family. Those two have very different ideas of what Imperial Intelligence is, even, to great effect on how they respond to the pressures of the story and what's done to them in the titular role. Nikihlus is an outsider; in much the way that Kaliyo is using Intelligence as the next opportunity, so too, to an extent, is Nikihlus. He's there not exactly of his own will - it was cooperate or die, so his loyalty to Intelligence is only as far as they'll pay him, and that the Empire remains a more sound employer. Sith politics and even the larger conflict of Republic vs. Empire interest him no further than how to stay alive as someone who is painfully aware (sometimes, or perhaps even often, to a degree of paranoia) that neither side is interested in having a place for an "ex-"underworld assassin and enforcer like himself. His main motivator, at the end of the day, is always to stay alive.

Sometimes the three of them have overlap in their choices made along the story. Sometimes they're polar opposites. Sometimes, they do the same things for vastly different reasons. And that is almost more fun than seeing the outcomes themselves. At the very least, it's definitely at least equally as fun as seeing the outcomes!

But there are also those stories that I've done a certain way and I don't think, at the moment, at least, I'll do them as well again. Savosta and Rhyst, for example, are sort of... the definitive version of my Wrath and Jedi Knight. The Sith Warrior is one of my other favorite stories on some of that variance aspect that's so appealing in Imperial Agent for me, but I just... haven't done it like I did it with Savosta before or since because I'm so satisfied with how he came together. And it's a similar thing with Rhyst and Jedi Knight, although Knight is also... one of the ones that took me the longest to figure out the kind of character I wanted in that role - the kind of character that made me feel really engaged with the story.

And Rhyst is probably also the character I've changed the most about, over the course of his existence - from physical appearance to actually getting a grasp on his motivations and what's stuck with him about his experiences.

And especially since I've worked a lot mentally on how those two develop a relationship with each other, I feel like I'd be missing something that's become a huge part of how I enjoy the full picture between the Knight & Warrior without having a pair of them.

Anyway... Part of this response is maybe for a takeaway of this game is so fucking good when it gets you, and I think part of it's 'goodness,' if you will is how individual the different stories can become when you lean into the 'roleplay' part of it for the characters made, at least in my experience, and... yeah, I'll take the platform to be excited about the many different experiences of all of these characters I have, lol! Part of what I've loved so dearly about this game as a community around it and enjoying the characters I've created for it is how passionate people are with their characters; I think I've used... something of the phrase for trying to discuss Tyr's experiences that... something something, all of that is true, for him, in his eyes, how he sees the world [for whichever character you'd like to apply this to]. His views and actions are justifiable, if you will, from his perspective, just as Alucren's are from his, even though those two I created to be nearly complete opposites to see paths of the Agent campaign I never would just replaying Tyr over and over (though I still do that, clearly), lol.

And... I also meant to touch on and didn't earlier, but... I also distinctly recall saying when I was closer to starting to play this game that I wasn't sure I'd ever quite get why to play the same character in different stories, and now I've got a version of Tyr for each of the tech class stories that were all really fun to explore, and some of them are even... pretty distinct 'versions' of him from the others, if you will. Which does always make me think about that post that goes something about... not "he wouldn't fucking say that" but... what would it take for this character to act or feel this certain way? What aspects of environment and circumstance and who they met, etc etc, form who they are, what their opinions are? What would it take for a Jedi Knight to "fall" to the Sith I think is a bit of a fairly obvious one in Star Wars media, and I, admittedly, sort of avoided that one for a while because I wasn't sure I'd get anything out of the pondering that I'd enjoy with Rhyst, but I've played with it a bit here and there since and it's actually revealed some very interesting insights - things like some of his insecurities that better inform me about the kind of presentations he makes as a Jedi, and better inform his later-in-life complicated feelings with the Order and the Republic in general, even better insight into what he'd like to do maybe after he hangs up his lightsaber, or what kind of life he might've led if he hadn't grown up with the Jedi Order.

I dunno. Honestly, maybe at the end of the day, I love getting this and getting to share this because creating fictional little characters is just fucking cool and fascinating by itself and it's an experience or hobby even, if you will, that's been so much fun for me throughout life that I really hope everyone gets to experience something that engages them this much. They're a really cool vehicle for exploration - and that can mean as much or as little as you want it to. And that's so fucking cool that they can do that.

Anyway pt 2, lol, I love, again as I said, comparing my agents like yardsticks, love yapping about how their differences play out in the story, I am almost always down to talk about Imperial Agents. And Rhyst, stars I need to talk about him more. Which I always say and then I don't without prompting, but genuinely they have almost a whole story together in my head and I'm just not a longfic person so it'll probably never come out that way, but I think about it. Trust that I think about it, lol. And honestly, it's really cool what I learn about them when I talk about them and talk with others. Rhyst is a good example for that; a lot of what I've learned and developed with him and Knight in particular is from yapping with friends and mutuals and hearing some of what others have done; the beauty of having a buddy is that they'll ask about or talk about aspects of the story or characters you might never have considered on your own. Some of my favorite little character facts or insights have honestly come from discussion with friends.

OCs are so fucking cool. Thanks for coming to my TED talk about it, I guess? xD

[adobe-outdesign]

I know you've done the various mr mime forms, but have you reviewed mime jr?

(This is the last Pokemon review request in the inbox right now, so send 'em if you got 'em.

Mr. Mime review is here, G. Mr. Mime review is here, and Mr. Rime Review is here.)

Some people find Mr. Mime to be kind of uncanny, with its nose-less face, long jointed limbs, and slightly too detailed hands, but I've never heard anyone complain about Mime Jr. here. It's mostly because, while based off of Mr. Mime, the design has been simplified greatly, and features like a super cheerful expression make it hard to not find this little guy adorable. Them mimicking people and not being very good at it also doesn't hurt their cuteness factor.

I like how, conceptually, it starts off as a clown and then becomes a mime; kind of similar but still distinct ideas that work well with each other. It also looks really solid visually; the light pink body has great contrast with the dark blue accents, the black eyes pop, and the nose and red ball on the chest compliment each other, as does the ball on it's jester-cap esq hair. It's clown-like enough to pick up on the theme, but done in a nice and subtle way.

I've heard a lot of people say that Mime Jr. doesn't look enough like Mr. Mime, but I honestly don't agree. They share the exact same color palette, similar color distributions (dark hair and legs/feet, light pink faces and arms, dark pink circle accents, etc.) and a lot of the same motifs, like the zig-zag hair and circles. I think the only place where the line looses cohesion a bit is the head, as the two have very different eyes; not inherently a bad thing, but it does make the faces less similar.

Ironically, Mime Jr. arguably fits even better with the Galarian Mr. Mime line, but for opposite reasons; the color palettes are completely different, but more elements of the body shape and face carry through (G. Mr. Mime has a nose, think arms but thicker legs that are completely black, mitten-like hands, and a scalloped pattern to the body; all traits that Mime Jr. shares). Mr. Rime also helps with this, keeping all of the shared attributes and even gaining a stockier body shape in the legs, the round red nose on the stomach, and similar eyes to Mime Jr.

(A lot of people say there should've been a Galarian Mime Jr. On the one hand, having an ice-type variant with blue instead of pink would've made the cohesion of the line spot-on; but on the other hand, I don't know if there's a ton they would've done with the design beyond just minor visual tweaks. I don't know, if it's between a fairly standard recolor variant that exists for coherency vs. just skipping it all together, I do get why they wouldn't think it was needed. Plus, like I said, the line is incredibly coherent as-is anyway).

Anyway, a really cute and fun pre-evo that feels like it adds something thematically to the line and works really well with both regular and the Galarian Mr. Mime lines. Great stuff.

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[dragon-communion]

I'm gonna sit here and ponder my characterization for St. Trina, considering a couple spoilers I've gotten. I crave character study fanfic about her.

Miquella, as a character, is incredibly driven and what he can't achieve by intellect he achieves by charisma. I don't think that charisma is independent of him- it didn't split off into Trina, I think she has it too, which implies to me that both of them still maintain his Empyrean curse. So then what did become Trina?

Assuming the way they divide is similar to Marika and Radagon, there's a combination of alchemical philosophy and something that I would recognize as the start of a dissociative disorder. Marika seems to be trying to reject the Golden Order; Radagon tries to keep it whole. Maybe Marika intentionally split off Radagon, maybe she didn't, but he nonetheless served the Golden Order by playing the long game to bring Rennala to heel. And then, after that, Marika herself. They split, purified, achieved xanthosis, and then there was some point of critical failure right before rubedo likely rooted in an inability to truly compromise their own desires. Godfrey never got the chance to truly attempt rubedo with Marika, I think, but he's definitely hit xanthosis by the time we truly fight him, and manages a kind of rubedo with Serosh.

The easy answer for Miquella/Trina is that Miquella is a workaholic, which is how he expresses love for others, while Trina isn't because she represents self-care and by extension self-love. She distinctly represents pleasure, oblivion, and repose, while Miquella is very focused on freedom and knowledge and action. Very much his sister's twin. Both of them at their core have love, I think, but to some extent Miquella's evolves into a very performative thing.

His goals go from wanting a better world for his sister, and by extension all maligned creatures in the Lands Between, to simply seeking a better world at any cost. Perhaps that's his Empyrean nature kicking in; a god can want for the sake of wanting, because they embody what they are. In becoming a god he forgets his personhood, abandoning true agency for becoming a core support beam of the world. Eerily similar to Radagon, actually. Marika was a person, and that's why she had to die. By extension, Trina was also a person, which is why she was abandoned to winnow Miquella down into a god.

So where does that leave Trina?

I think Miquella was the origin of the twain, for lack of better terminology, and Trina is conceptually his Radagon, embodying a certain ideal or methodology that he rejected but ultimately found useful, to a point. Maybe he intentionally created her, maybe he didn't, but she formed along a preexisting fault line in his psyche: just as Radagon embodies the Golden Order, Trina is the Cradlesong. That could be familial love, it could be self love, it could be love in general. I've compared Miquella to Gideon before- sometimes the pursuit of knowledge, and especially perfection, requires cruelty that violates morality.

I think Trina cared about people, and there's a reason Sleep and Frenzy are so entwined and opposed. I think she'd agree with Melina and argue against nihilism, but I also think she had her own hedonistic branch of it, a selfishness that could match Miquella's underneath the apparent selflessness. Miquella actively hunts his peace, for better or for worse, while Trina invites it. She's the opiate to his stimulant.

I think she may have had just enough in common with the Formless Mother to be intensely curious about her, and may or may not have had dealings with her. I think all of the outer gods utilize love, in their own way, but something about blood in particular is very close to Miquella's own alignment. Trina might have also been connected to Miquella's twisted relationship with his eternal childhood- he wanted to be an adult in a way she didn't really need, possibly, and which neither of them could truly achieve.

I think the disturbing visage of adult Trina on her torch might've been Miquella's dream, which is why that depiction is so rare.

I think they were both dreamers, and where they diverged is what they dreamed about.

[wearenemies]

i literally havent stopped thinking about ur peterick college professor AU all day.. its so good

giggles and blushes so sweet of you to say…. if you have any criticism at any point or any ideas of what to do with it i love how you write their dynamic and would be more than happy to sit my white ass down and listen 🫶

i've been thinking about the whole premise a little further and still am not sure whether or not they're going to straight up be married because i think patrick wearing a ring would be a good in for theorisation about his relationship status that would otherwise seem even more unnecessary, but i don't know if p2 marriage is an unrealistic and overly romantic stance to take, especially considering what went on in real life, so i'm still on the fence about that. i might just say they're engaged and leave it at that.... also unsure still whether our narrator would be a student or a coworker of theirs? i think the coworker situation better justifies this guy's interest in the lives of these guys because they'd want to make friends, and there are considerably more situations in which it would be appropriate for them to be interacting (after work drinks, etc. patrick could wear the stupid t shirt pete got him. beautiful world) but i worry that that'd betray to an immersion-breaking degree how little i know about the inner workings of american academia and employment at american universities and whatnot so. another glaring issue. i also realise that the whole keeping-the-narrator-in-the-dark thing might be much less realistic to achieve irl than i make it seem, so i’ll have to employ some serious lampshading + sitcom logic to make it work in a way that feels natural, but i figure that if you’re able to suspend your disbelief enough to imagine patrick pursuing higher education you can believe anything so peace and love.

on that note, the peterick history i’m imagining is that they would’ve been in the band but it never would’ve really gone anywhere because of patrick’s reluctance vocally, so they all (with the exception of andy: with how ridiculously skilled and prominent in the hardcore scene he was it'd be completely unreasonable to assume that he wouldn't have joined a band and made it pretty big at some point) ended up going back to school like their parents wanted. pete was vehemently against finishing his poli sci degree, and his parents decided to allow him to pursue something he actually wanted to do (that being literary analysis and creative writing) on the condition that he’d work as hard as he could and not touch narcotics or whatever, and it was a hard sell but after he graduated he decided that he’d rather be doing that than anything else, and since his parents had the funds to support him and running on mani mostofi’s logic that ‘if pete didn’t get famous, he would’ve ended up in jail’, they considered it a productive and wholesome use of his time, and pete just kind of stayed in academia. i imagine he’s very well known in literary circles because of his general charisma and bizarre angles on things, and i can see him having written several significant (and not to toot his horn too much but pretty great) journal pieces on the works of his favourite writers, and a wider fictional bibliography than just the single weird roman-a-clef that he has to his name in real life.

patrick’s a little more difficult to work with conceptually because he graduated from high school with significantly worse grades than pete in real life, doesn’t have weirdly famous relatives, and is generally not a hugely academically inclined person, so i might just have to gloss over explaining that (maybe he took some supplemental classes and took out a LOT of loans or whatever) but i imagine music theory being a subject of interest for him because of the technical and semi-scientific nature of it as a very trivia-minded (and ‘possibly autistic’. coughs) person who likes the factual nature of natural history. i can see him having work published in the yale-founded journal of music theory, and maybe focusing especially on music theory’s application in the fields of anthropology and cognitive sciences because of the aforementioned natural history interest. i see him and pete having drifted apart a little over the years (maybe they fucked for a while - potentially starting ‘05 - and had a messy ‘friendship breakup’ around 2009?) running into each other at an arts conference in like 2011/2012, ending up both working at the same place in around 2015, and finally getting together as a result of that connection, no unsubstantial degree of nudging from friends, and years of mutual tension.

there’s for sure a huge extent to which you’ll have to ignore how fundamentally the whole academia thing is probably not something they’d do, but i’m begging you guys to let me know if anything seems too egregiously out of character i’ve never written fic before i’m playing with my touys here 👍

[styrmwb]

I beat Chrono Trigger

And I beat it like, nearly entirely unspoiled too.

For the longest time Chrono Trigger was "The most Styrm game Styrm has never played" and I felt silly cause my super cool ADHD brain never decided it was gonna decide to play it until now (I also had to get it done before FFVII rebirth or it was NEVER gonna happen lmfao)

So like, what are my onions?

The game's so fucking good, it stands up so incredibly well that I regret not getting to it sooner. The music, the story, the gameplay, the art (backgrounds and spritework), every single part of this game I absolutely adored. I can MAYBE think of like 2 things I would have changed about the game but they're so minor.

Characters

I loved every single party member. The ones with character felt so alive and enjoyable, and the ones that didn't really have much character were super fun to use in battle. Crono MIGHT be one of the most broken JRPG protags I've played as; I gave him a counter item for the whole game and he would constantly attack with high crits. Marle is one of my favorite characters; being all adventurous and shit, rejecting the stuffiness of royal society but like, not NOT caring? I like it. Plus she was instrumental in having me not die lmfao. Lucca had a really great character arc with Robo and her mother, and blowing shit up was super fun. Speaking of, Robo deserves the entire world; I would die for him. Unfortunately he didn't get as much use in my playthrough as I would have wanted, but I still dearly care for him. Ayla was a powerhouse even though i completely neglected her thief mechanic, and despite her caveman speak and relative lack of goal compared to the cast, I really appreciated her presence as I almost felt like she was a pillar For the rest of the cast. Magus was hype. I'll describe thoughts later down the list, but for his gameplay his magic annihilated battles, and the dude pretty much solo'd the Lavos boss rush.

Finally; Frog. The absolute best character in the game. His design? Creative. His story? Heartbreaking yet heroic. His gameplay? Essential. I loved Frog from the moment I saw him and he was with me through thick and thin. Something I really appreciated was that HE got Masamune rather than Crono. Sure, Crono is the main character, but Frog is the hero. I love my amphibious mans.

Lavos is super cool to me. It's not really a character (but kinda is?) and more like a force of nature. I also think it's kinda conceptually funny that the main villain of this classic game is the meteor that killed the dinosaurs. I don't think I FULLY understood what it truly was, but it's a concept that I very much enjoyed.

Overall, all of the characters in this game are great. Everyone has a role, everyone is enjoyable in their own way, and I really love seeing how the time travel aspect would let you see fates of characters and their role in history.

Gameplay

I loved the lack of random battles. Every battle felt planned and like its own individual puzzle, especially with the positioning gimmick; what enemies get hit by what abilities, how do I avoid hitting this enemy with the element that heals them with my super strong AoE ability. The idea of dual and triple techs enhanced this further: am I gonna use individual turns for heals or am I gonna just have Crono and Ayla fuckin decimate the entire area?

The aspect of time travel felt overall very well used. Past experiences affecting the future, but things in the future not affecting backwards; it feels like it should be obvious it works that way but it just felt like, well executed. this paragraph proves i need to get better at writing cause ultimately I just said I liked it

I also feel like the whole beginning section with the fair leading to the trial really makes you think harder about what to pay attention to and what matters: it teaches well without shoving it in your face. Might just be because I play a lot of RPGs and this is an older one, but I was able to discern the knowledge i needed easily.

Story

So to clarify here, I know there are multiple endings, but I got two; the Die To Lavos Ending not sure why i got this one nope and the real ending; I tried to do everything that I possibly could, so that was my experience.

It's great. I kinda loved how it was less a "party vs a bad time man" and more of a "party vs a natural calamity": I feel like that's not done often in games, there's usually a big bad (which I don't hate!) but it was a nice change of pace. I absolutely loved how each timeline had its own individual struggles, and the nature of time travel made them flow together very well in small ways (like defeating Magus makes Ozzie the worshipped one). Being able to go into it unspoiled really improved the huge moments, like Magus and Crono's big events (not gonna say in case there's someone like me out there), and I very much enjoyed guessing what would be next and what would affect what.

The Only Major issue I have is the 3 party limit, and character dialogue being locked to who you have. I feel like there would have been some really cool moments had everyone been there, like the campfire scene where everyone got their time.

Music

I mean, it's peak. I've already heard some of Mitsuda's work in later games, but hearing him here do (pretty much) the whole soundtrack was just a treat to my ears. The main theme is stuck playing in my head daily. The overworld and cutscene songs I think are where it shines, although I did really like the battle songs as well. and as always shoutouts to Uematsu we love that man.

Art

Again, a short section, but this game is beautiful, and I could tell that a lot of the techniques they used felt advanced for the time, like the time travel effect, or the car race; the spritework felt bouncy and alive, the backgrounds were beautifully detailed (Like Magus's Castle holy shit), and the entire game was a joy to look at.

Unspoiled

So yeah, I beat this game unspoiled somehow. I knew a couple characters like Crono and Lavos (the fact that they Existed), I've seen some backdrops like the campfire and Masamune in its sheath, and I've heard some songs; but other than that, I didn't know anything!

(warning for spoilers if you are like me and have gotten unspoiled don't read this)

Like I said in the story, it was really fun to figure out how things would be affected by the nature of time travel, naturally figuring out side quests like Fiona, and being hit by moments that I never would have expected. I didn't think my actions at the fair would affect anything until I saw the trial which made me question everything (I'm sorry old man for eating your lunch) (twice). I remember getting what i thought was the full party cause that's what the box art was, until I noticed what I thought was a 7th party member slot, leading me to wonder when this person would join and who it is; discovering Antiquity (also a surprise to me) convinced me that the person was here, and then that said person was Boy with cat that said I was gonna die, and lo and behold I was right! But not in the way that I thought. Seeing Magus be the final member was incredibly rewarding, and I probably wouldn't have gotten him if I didn't get reality checked by my actions mattering in the trial (although I do wish he had some more party interactions and dialogue). Also close to this: I did not know Crono STRAIGHT UP dies. Like, OBVIOUSLY he was gonna come back, right? But to have that happen to your main character? Felt revolutionary for the time. Didn't think Lavos was gonna be like, a humanoid creature, and I ESPECIALLY didn't think it was gonna have a phase 2.

(ok spoilers over)

Final

I could not be happier with my experience for this game. I can absolutely see why it is considered a masterpiece, and it's clearly going to stick with me for a good long while, the rest of my life, even. My negatives are incredibly minor, really only wanting more party dialogue and interactions (and to remove Golem FUCK that fight lmfao), and for that, I can probably consider it one of my favorite RPGs.

10/10, thanks for reading my ramblings if you did.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Hi there! Your post about brain age stuck a chord with me; I got significant brain damage in an accident when I was 20, and I've been struggling to take control back from a bunch of well-meaning and overprotective people, ranging from my neurologist to my siblings. So thank you for that. I do have a question for you. I've found a lot of the people who use the brain development age are the people who (idk what word to use for this) self-infantilize themselves. Why do you think people do this, and how can we combat this? I find that it's harder to argue against when they want to be protected, and that they think I need to be protected.

This is a great question. I have some thoughts on why people tend to self-infantilize. If people think of something as desirable for themselves, it's harder to convince them that it's wrong to do to others. Theoretically, even if people infantilize themselves, we should be able to tell them that it's wrong to do to other people without their consent -- but since the root of infantilization is the premise that the subject is incapable of meaningfully consenting to things, that doesn't necessarily work.

So anyway, I have some theories. I think there's significant overlap between this worldview and the medical model of mental difference. This is specific to a U.S. Cultural context; other people can weigh in on how this does/doesn't apply in other places/cultures.

Our society is obsessed with blaming people's external circumstances on their "bad choices." Underpaid? Your fault for not choosing a better job! Abused? Your fault for being so abusable! People will comb through every bit of struggling/oppressed people's history to find something they "did wrong" that would justify whatever bad thing happened to them or was done to them. In particular, there's tremendous emphasis on "bad decisions" in youth (if you skip algebra class, it will go on your Permanent Record and your life will be RUINED!). In this context, it can seem liberatory to counteract that narrative with "My problems aren't the fault of my bad choices; I'm a child much too young to be capable of even making choices."

Similarly/relatedly to the above, in the age of mass incarceration, trying minors as adults, and a general pattern of incarcerating marginalized young people to long prison sentences for relatively petty crimes, pushback to this policy heavily centers the idea that the wrongness of this cruelty is rooted in young people being essentially incapable of making choices and therefore not being truly responsible for their actions.

Young people (meaning both minors and young adults) are relentlessly sexually objectified. Obviously, most people don't become comfortable being sexually objectified just because they turn 18, but some young adults contextualize this as "It's wrong to sexualize me because I'm A Child" rather than "The way people sexually objectify young people is dehumanizing and harmful."

Relatedly, because young people are often disempowered, and it's socially acceptable to treat young people like garbage, young people are often targeted for abusive/exploitative relationships, financial arrangements, and other abusive and exploitative situations, and this targeting often kicks up when young people come of age, because they then may have resources they can legally access and sign away. People victimized by this are encouraged to see the problem as "I am a child and they are a child abuser" rather than "I was/am denied social and economic power and was put in a desperate situation, which they exploited.

People who grew up with unsupportive parents may conceptualize that lack of support as "I'm an immature child, and they've forced me to grow up too soon, but if they recognized that I'm still a child, they would take better care of me."

Basically, short version: I think young adults are encouraged to self-infantalize, even though I think it's contrary to their long-term interests (not that they asked me), because young people are treated like hot garbage, and young adults are encouraged to frame this problem as "I'm being denied the protections that children get," but I think they're mistaken, because children are absolutely not protected in the first place.

[froggiewrites]

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

Share a link to a playlist you love: I don't listen to a lot of playlists (I'm bad at making them and I usually don't go out of my way to look for them), but here's a link to the playlist I made when I was conceptualizing Rosamund. I think listened to it on repeat for nearly two weeks straight when I first made it. It's full of songs and artists I don't normally listen to (with a few notable exceptions), so it was nice to push my musical boundaries a bit.

Share a headcanon for one of your favorite ships or pairings: I don't have a lot of opinions on ships in OP (I think a lot of the ones I've seen have fun dynamics so that makes it hard to choose), but I'm a diehard Frobin believer. As for headcanons, and I guess this is less for the ship and more for the whole crew, I headcanon that they kind of work together to try to take care of everyone else, since they're on a ship full of young people who try to push themselves too hard. Nothing overt, just kind of making eye contact during a party and a silent agreement to try to gently lead someone pushing themselves too hard to bed, or other small things like that. I think post timeskip they have to do it a lot less, but pretimeskip I think most of the strawhats are TERRIBLE at looking after themselves, and Franky and Robin feel at least a little responsible for making sure these kids don't destroy themselves as the closest things to responsible adults on the ship (at least until Brook and Jimbei join).

Name three good things in your life right now: This one is a fun exercise, bc I've been a bit in my own head lately, so it's nice to make myself remember the good things. 1) My girlfriend just got a new job, so she's a lot happier and it shows 😊 It's wonderful to see her doing better and being treated how she deserves to be. 2) I've had a lot of time to write lately, which I think has really allowed me to improve (or at least I hope, haha). It's been nice to engage with an active hobby, since other than writing, most of my hobbies are consumption (reading, watching stuff, gaming). I love all of those things, but the sense of accomplishment I get from creating something is really unmatched. 3) Is it silly to just say my cat? I just love her a lot and just looking at her always makes me feel better. I'm a really anxious person and it's nice to be able to look at her sleeping peacefully and ground myself a bit.

Writers Ask Game

[donnerpartyofone]

Re: whether or not AI can produce "real art":

I've seen more than my share of arguments about how like, art shouldn't be defined by money/resources/gatekept education/being able-bodied enough to do something really hard, and I have also seen the arguments about how conceptual art has existed for a long time so there's no reason to shit on computer-generated art where the only human contribution is supposedly "just a concept". I usually think those arguments are really flat and dogmatic on both sides, because they're both ignoring the essential question of why you do a certain job with certain tools. Let me put it this way: It is generally agreed that Duchamp's "Fountain" carries a certain meaning, that his positioning of an anonymous, crass, commercial product as a unique museum object delivers a certain message. Like whatever you think of that, it gives people something to talk about and it does the job of interrogating what art even is. That's legit, even if you hate it; like the known fact that Jeff Koons' sculptures are made by a whole atelier is fully a part of what the sculptures are saying (again, whether you like it or not), it's not like the artist "just came up with a concept" and all the questions of how the object was crafted don't matter. No one is hiding that from you and if you're not taking everything into consideration then you're missing the point. But if we lived in a world where Duchamp literally created the "Fountain" urinal by hand, carefully and deliberately crafting a familiar factory-made object all by himself like some sort of folk artisan, then the meaning would be completely different and we'd have totally different arguments about it, it would feel different to even be in the room with it, and that matters. The alternative universe hand-made "Fountain" wouldn't necessarily be a better or worse piece of art, but it would have a completely different significance, because where things come from and how they got here matters.