#like I said in another post I also strongly suspect why they’re dropping all this personal stuff now in a coordinated effort but

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Seriously from a comms perspective I cannot stress enough how incredibly smart and strategic this launch/evolution/whatever you want to call it is. And to be clear I’m not saying it’s because they are PR. THAT IS NOT IT. Taylor and Travis are real people who happen to live in extraordinary circumstances that necessitate a plan in this regard because people can be so fucking weird about it.

The idea of acknowledging the elephant in the room instead of ignoring it and letting it take up space is what it all comes down to. Sure it was a frenzy when they first went public and the first bits of PDA hit the airwaves, but in the end what it does is normalize it. By this point, everyone knows they’re a couple and it’s not weird when they do hold hands or kiss or acknowledge each other in public. Because that’s what anyone would do with their significant other and trying to make it secret just makes it weird, for both the media and the people involved in the relationship.

So the way they’ve navigated this again has been masterful. There clearly are boundaries (it seems especially on Taylor’s end which Travis happily obliges) but that doesn’t mean they can’t just be themselves either. So, they’re not inviting people into their living room each week, but the gradual public meshing of their image served a purpose to normalize it. From Taylor’s first game to the occasional fluff pieces to trusted outlets to steer the narrative to acknowledging the public outings to dipping their toes in social media official, it’s making it so that now that they’ve moved into the next phase of their lives (whatever that may mean now but whatever it is it’s clearly serious and clearly considered permanent by both of them), they can share what they want without it being a stressor.

So if Taylor wants to be goofy, she can change her song lyrics or invite him up onto the stage and it’s newsworthy because she’s her but it’s not weird. Travis can be interviewed and be asked about his partner who is a public figure and speak highly of her without it turning into a maelstrom. Gradually their domestic status is going to be normalized so that their every move isn’t as big of a deal. (It’ll still be news because they are who they are, but it won’t seem like they’re sitting down for a root canal every time.)

I hate to call this a “rollout” because they’re people, not products, but in terms of a PR strategy, it’s excellent. And it’s not that every move they do is PR!!! It’s that every move they make is public, so they need to navigate that so that they can maintain their personal boundaries as they wish. It’s not that every interview is calculated, but it’s more that what they do or don’t choose to share at any moment in time is helping them figure out what they’re comfortable with, and it’s also lessening the market value, if you will, of any anecdotes. The more people become accustomed to them as a unit, the less each quote like this is bound to make huge headlines. (I mean other than fans like us because we want our pop star bestie to have everything she wants.)

It’s not just that their teams have set a great example, it’s that THEY are handling it with such skill and grace. I’m honestly blown away by it from a professional perspective and suspect that they figured out early on that getting a handle on it and guiding the narrative instead of pretending it didn’t exist might have been scary at first but has proven to make things so much easier and takes up way less space in all their brains.

[bluebeirry]

Humanity in Heroes, Humanity in Villains- everyone’s flawed AF even if Hero Society can go F*** itself

Edit: I had to rename this because I realized my original name was misleading

I’ve seen a lot of thoughtful, well-written posts making very good points about why hero society is broken and is doing the wrong thing by vilifying their ‘villains,’ locking them up and forgetting  about them. I’ve seen a lot about how Tomura Shigaraki and the LoV in particular are natural responses to a broken system. @linkspooky and @waxwingedhawks and @thyandrawrites have a lotta good meta on this.

But… I also wanted to make something about the other side, that accepts that the heroes are flawed, human, and often in the wrong. Maybe a lot of people who already stan the heroes won’t get this, or will misunderstand what I’m going for, but I wanted to put it out anyways for fun and to see if I’m just talking out of my ass.

Here’s the thing. BNHA society as a whole being a villain-making machine that creates new villains, demonizes them, destroys lives, and then benefits from the hero system that only functions because of this destruction? Yes, spill that tea. Heroes doing harm by perpetuating the system? Totally agree.

But Heroes individually being responsible for the monsters created and being justifiable targets of hated? Well, I think it’s more complicated than that.

See, if we look at the hero system as a mirror of real-world capitalism, then the Heroes aren’t the CEOs and the politicians who make up the 1% and keep the world in tatters. They are symptoms of a broken system as much as the villains. They have more agency than the villains, yes, but I don’t think they’re all monsters for failing to see the shortcomings of a society that encourages them not to look too deeply.

First of all there’s the pure fact of what heroes do- they save people.

I don’t have a problem with heroes fighting villains who use their powers in destructive and violent ways. I have a problem with the system then taking those villains and locking them away, instead of trying to help them. But when a man made of slime is holding a 13/14 year old kid hostage, blowing up buildings, and shouting how he’s gonna kill All Might? He needs to be stopped.

In short, I agree with the hero system ONLY so far as the idea of having people who are trained professionals use their skills to protect people and save lives. If people are threatening/taking the lives of other people, I do not have a problem with those people being stopped by violent means- so long as those means do prevent further death.

What I have a problem with is the demonization of human beings, harsh and unforgiving societal reactions, and refusal to acknowledge or examine the circumstances that push human beings into committing crimes.

We see heroes treat villains as the irredeemable scum- and in cases like Overhaul, this is pretty true. But their society also doesn’t encourage heroes to follow-up on anyone they arrest after all is said and done- not once is it even mentioned that a hero plays a role in a villain’s trial, something that real-world cops often are called to do IRL  for the people they’ve arrested. And let’s be honest- it's easier for heroes to beat people senseless and not feel bad about it if they think the villains all deserve it. Acknowledging that doing physical harm to another person may be necessary in order to prevent further physical harm (or even death) from falling on more people is complicated and difficult to accept. I’m sure some heroes are being cowardly when they embrace the idea that villain=evil, while others- like All Might (see below)- don’t seem to have the social and societal awareness outside of their own experiences to realize that they should be following up and helping people. What’s more the idea that anyone should be looking at the cause of villainy is one that’s hard to pick up because it’s so rarely found. Nobody in the media, in the government, in the HPSC, wants people to think about the ethics of Tartarus. Even the Liberation Army doesn’t seem to give two fucks about the ways their society makes and profits off villains. It’s said several times that the world of hero society is a world of ‘repression’- I strongly suspect that anyone who tries to explain to others the flaws in their society gets repressed  and shut up, one way or another, with the only people in power who are aware being the ones that benefit from the system the most and don’t care about the lives destroyed in the process.

Deku says that this is the story of how he became the worlds greatest hero. I can this be the case without dismissing the villains completely- if the world changes how it treats them. If Deku brings about or enters a society where cases like Toga and Twice can be saved without needing to turn to the darkness- where the people Deku defeats and arrests aren’t just locked up for life, but are given brighter futures.

Now some specific cases, just for fun:

All Might:

So I said above that All Might is a good-intentioned person who backs the hero system due to ignorance of how it harms people. Now here is where I break down the psychology of this statement for you. First of all, we know that All Might’s original mission statement as a teenager was to make the world safer so that people would have the courage to do the right thing and make the world a better place- a viewpoint he probably gained from being part of the population that was too terrified to act. It reflects his life experiences. What’s more, we know that the world before All Might was very different from the world after him. It's very possible that his limited viewpoint comes from having an understanding of the world and what it needs that hasn’t changed over the course of his career- even as his career changed what the world needs. It’s not malice or arrogance that leads All Might to support a broken system- it’s lack of societal awareness beyond his own class bracket and lack of awareness of how the world has changed.

All Might may very well have been what society needed at the time when he was a teen. We don’t know what the world was like  back then- we don’t know if he truly was doing the right thing But he failed to make sure that the culture that sprung up in his wake would properly protect everyone as best as it can, and failed to recognize that society had to keepchanging beyond his original vision. It’s like stairs- you need to take each step one at a time, but after you take one step you then have to continue on to the next one. And All Might poured so much of his life into getting past one particular step, he never even realized that there was more steps to be climbed before society could reach the top.

The League of Villains:

See, I agree that the league are all people pushed to their roles by societal rejections, and their actions are a direct repercussion of society’s failures and crimes against them. I can even agree that attacking kids is morally iffy and not 100% morally wrong when those kids are also willingly  learning to become the next generation of soldiers (and later used as child soldiers) enforcing the broken society. I still think child murder is wrong because you cannot reasonably expect 15-year olds who grew up in a society that idolizes heroes to not buy into the propaganda. Plus often they’re being attacked just for being convenient, or for pissing Tomura off- which IMO is not a good reason to try to kill someone.

But all that aside, there are two things the LoV does that I truly believe are reprehensible. While the execution of the PLF raid had severe moral issues involved all over the place, the concept of  taking the PLF and the League down is just because of  two factors:

1. The use of human experimentation to make Nomu as weapons

2. The plan to massacre entire cities- killing millions of people-  as part of the PLF’s grand plan

The second one in particular is to me unambiguously evil. The first one is evil too- but if I put on my villain stan hat I’ve noticed in cannon that we  don’t actually know if the LoV is aware that the Nomu are made from human experiments. They’re called ‘artificial humans’ and apart from Tomura (who was a willing test subject) the LoV don’t seem to play any major role in the creation of Nomu (Shigaraki is said to have ‘designed’ some of the Nomu, but  it’s not clear if that means he actually worked with dead people or just planned the quirk combinations to go into the Nomu or something in between). Point is, Doctor Ujiko is pure evil but I can forgive the LoV if it turns out they didn’t actually know how the Nomu came to be.

But there is no possible way I can see the plan to kill millions as anything less than evil. There are a million better ways to change society- don’t jump into wholesale genocide. Atomic weapons are a last-ditch resort for a reason, and their plan would basically have had the same effect as dropping several atomic bombs on several cities without warning. I don’t think it was right when America bombed Nagasaki after destroying Hiroshima, I don’t think it was right when America made a half-assed attempt at explaining the bomb threat before dropping Little Boy, and the ethics of using nuclear weapons are complicated AF but I honestly don’t believe that the LoV’s plan is right.

Tomura Shigaraki:

In relation to Tomura, we see the heroes demonizing him and calling him an ‘it’ and seeing him as a manchild. All totally wrong. But for the last point… how are they supposed to think anything else? As readers we know Tomura is a traumatized kid, but the heroes don’t know anything about his backstory. Even All Might doesn’t know how Tomura got picked up by All for One, he doesn’t know about the death of the Shimura family.

What they do know is that Tomura is willing to kill children and bystanders to get his way. And to put this on the table- that is not a good thing. I am not pro-murder. If you think killing innocent people for simply being in a mall when a villain and a hero-trainee happen to also be there is acceptable, this post isn’t for you. By now you’ve probably figured that out, and I don’t know why you’re still reading unless you saw Tomura’s name and skipped ahead to this section.

Getting back on track, I don’t think doing such horrific things like attempted cold-blooded murder makes Tomura irredeemable. I agree that he’s traumatized and confused and lashing out. That does not mean he’s innocent, but he’s also not ‘pure evil’ or ‘evil incarnate’ as the heroes believe.

Here, the heroes themselves are definitely doing the wrong thing. Not because they’re trying to stop Tomura, but because they’re treating him- and the Nomu- as non-human. Honestly I preferred when they called him a man-child; at least then they were acknowledging the symptoms of his trauma. They didn’t have enough information to know that these were trauma symptoms as opposed to, say, symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder- with the information the heroes have, either could be possible guesses. But the world is broken when they assume it’s the latter- when they assume the case that casts Tomura in the worst possible light. And then removing his humanity entirely and treating him as a thing- there I have actual beef with the heroes.

Hawks/Takami Keigo:

Now Hawks is suuuper interesting to me, because so far he is the ONLY hero to show any awareness of the broken system. Namely in Twice. But even then, there’s problems- and arguably Hawks is either even worse of a person because of it.

There’s the fact that Hawks only recognizes the humanity and the very valid backstory of the one guy who’s his personal friend- which is blatant favoritism and shows willing blindness towards the trials and suffering anyone who he didn’t try to ‘save.’

Hawks has no desire to re-make or even change the system that he clearly knows hurt and broke a good man down into doing very wrong things. He sees that the system did these things, but he doesn’t think to try to make a lasting change that might not only protect Twice, but protect future victims from following Twice’s path. This is… interesting.

Then there’s the way in which Hawks approached Twice. Now, here I think Hawks was trying to both do a hero’s duty of preventing further future violence, but failed to balance this with his personal attempts to reach Twice as a person and save him as a victim of a broken system. Hawks tried to do both at the same time, and condescended Twice while offering him a way out.

I do not think in any way shape or form that letting Twice go free, or even not apprehending him, was the right thing for Hawks to do. Again, the LoV had two crimes that Hawks knew of that could not be allowed to go through/go on. Stopping Twice was the right thing.

Stopping Twice by throwing him around, taunting him, offering him a choice between betraying his friends and dying, and threatening his life, and ultimately killing him- that is NOT the right thing. I don’t get what Hawks was trying to do, and honestly his behavior really, really confuses me. I don’t know what would’ve been the right thing for him to do- it's a rock and a hard place- but what Hawks did definitely wasn’t the best option he had. It also wasn’t the worst. But killing Twice is still pretty damn close to the worst.

Edit: I also realize in retrospect that I didn’t even cover issues of corruption in the hero ranks, such as Endeavor, and how the popularity/fame aspects helps enforce the failings and corruption of the heroes and their society, or the issues with Quirks being repressed and regulated in anyone not a hero (which ironically contributes to the idolization of heroes)

[iwillgetridofyourangerforyou]

Do you think that Genos's choice of cybernetics was a mistake?

Oh anon. I’m so glad you asked. I’ve been wanting to write about this for so long. You asking is giving me the motivation needed to put ‘pen to paper’ so to speak. I guarantee you that I have not expressed everything I think or feel about this subject but here’s a taste at least. 

The short answer is:

I absolutely do not believe that Genos becoming a cyborg was a mistake. 

Some key ideas in brief: 

The ‘what’ hardly ever matters as much as the ‘why’. “What” Genos is doesn’t matter as long as his motivations align with his actions.  

If you do what must with what you know while and learn more later how can you call that a mistake? It’s just the learning process. I think to say that Genos made a ‘mistake’ by becoming a cyborg gives the past too much credit when it’s really the present that needs to be focused on. I think he did what made sense at the time and to suggest that he’s totally fucked because he just tried to do his best is a really messed up place to take his character and that just doesn’t sit well with me.

Background

I’ve thought a LOT about this and I’m dying to know what ONE will tell us. I’ve made it pretty clear in a number of posts that I don’t think Genos Should have to get his body back in order to break his limiter and/or find fulfillment. In fact, I would really rather see a story where, for once, a cyborg being a cyborg isn’t a tragedy or a sacrifice. 

That said, I’m actually a really big fan of the ‘fight to get one’s body back’ motif. I think it’s entirely heartwarming to see a character experience wholeness in every sense at the conclusion. If, like Hyakkimaru (dororo 2019), or Alphonse and Edward (FMA:B), Genos’ quest was about getting his body back (who knows maybe it is but that’s not what’s been presented so far), I would be all about that! If you can Stan a motif, that’s a motif I Stan hard. At the moment Genos’ quest is about being ‘strong enough’, and I don’t think that has anything to do with whether or not he has what material his physical body is made out from. 

The Physicality of the question

There is a popular assertion that Genos *must* get his ‘real’ body back or he will never be able to break his limiter. I do actually think there is something to the symbolism of that argument (which I’ll get into later) but I find the entire argument disturbingly ablest.

What could possibly be the necessity of getting his physical body back? Being able to heal? Doubtful, unlike most mere mortals no one could ‘heal’ from most of the things Genos has experienced. He can, and does, regularly take risks and do things no ‘normal’ human could do. S-Class heroes ranked higher than him would never literally risk life and limb the way he does. Imagine, for a moment, if Genos started to protect and value his physical form and stop treating it as disposable? He is able to do much of his own superficial repairs. Without making as many reckless decisions Genos might drop in the rankings for a brief time but at the rate he learns he’ll be stronger than ever in no time. Sure he doesn’t have Saitama’s invulnerability- 

BUT Speaking of Saitama’s invulnerability, Saitama’s strength and invulnerability LITERALLY defy all logic. So if breaking one’s limiter is so logic-defying , why then would it be logical for Genos to have a ‘normal’ body in order to break his limiter? What purpose would it serve precisely? It’s like someone took the work-out routine idea a bit too literally. Also even Garou, and Zombieman both show at different points that this world doesn’t follow the conventional rules of science. Even if Genos wasn’t just ‘more careful with his body’ I think the limits of his potential are not constrained by the physicality of his form. While battling EC Genos was able to literally pull himself together. 

Even if the world did follow the laws of ‘science’ there are so many options from the more crude ‘replace and repair’ via drone perhaps? to the more sophisticated nano-tech options. But this isn’t really an argument about the semantics of HOW, the ‘how’ doesn’t matter. 

The point is, I don’t see any reason why Genos would need to have a ‘normal’ human body, with all the normal limitations of a human body, in order to break his limiter. How does a flesh suit provide any advantage to a mech suit if you're just as human either way? I suspect that his limits are not physical but mental and that what Saitama told him in the beginning was shockingly on point. 

The metaphysics of the question, IE what does being a cyborg represent

What I’m dying to know is what does ‘being a cyborg’ represent? How does ONE think of cyborgs? 

There is an idea that when faced with the existential question of one's life, when faced with the reality that the construct one holds to growing up, is flawed, there are a few choices a person is likely to make. One of those choices would be to address the existential question head on and define meaning for oneself. Another, possibly more common, tactic is to jump from one flawed construct to another hoping to find one strong enough to allow the user of that construct to avoid dealing with existential reality. Some may argue that the harm to a soul caused by changing from one construct to another without addressing the issue is an irreversible damage. But is this how ONE thinks of Cyborgs? There is an uncomfortable possibility of that. 

So far, we haven’t met many Cyborgs but both Genos and Webigaza seem to be avoiding addressing the root of their internal turmoil and suffering by attaching themselves to some highly specific and possibly unattainable externalized goal. Perhaps, being a cyborg represents a certain kind of self-destructive cognitive dissonance? but that’s not been unique to the experience of the cyborgs represented in OPM. 

Obviously Genos’ limits are strongly internal, but are his cybernetic parts an expression of that internal conflict more than they are an aid to him? If so, what's the alternative? It seems like a pretty permanent change! But I’m unwilling to accept that a choice a person made for themselves with the information they had at the time could entirely ruin a person's chance at fulfillment later in life. I believe in unlimited growth. I know the process of learning and growing can be painful and can leave literal scars. But if you’re still alive, like Genos is, I believe you still have a chance. 

So, if between now and the end of Genos’ arc ONE finds a way to clearly define why being a cyborg is inherently ‘wrong’ because of what it represents conceptually and how specifically getting a ‘normal’ body back solves that problem, maybe I can accept that Genos should get ‘normal body’. If getting Genos’ body back is integral to his personal fulfillment, I’ll accept a transformation like the one’s I’m so fond of in FMA:B and Dororo 2019. 

But if I were ONE I’d tread lightly on this subject since there doesn’t seem to be as much set up as FMA:B and Dororo 2019. Wherein Both of those stories are explicitly about the character’s getting their bodies back and literally recovering themselves from the sacrifices that were made by them and/or with them. By contrast Genos' story hits much harder for me because he CHOSE to become a cyborg. We don’t know all the reasons why or how much of his ‘normal’ body remained when he asked Kuseno to help him and that would certainly answer some questions. In both Dororo 2019 and FMA:B the individual’s technological aids help the character’s rather than hold them back even while those aids cause pain and limitations. The cybernetics weren’t the problems these characters had to solve they were tools to help the characters solve their other issues that would allow them to restore themselves, they weren’t as linked to identity as they are for Genos. Genos who literally identifies as a ‘Cyborg for Justice.’ Asserting that Genos can’t be a Cyborg and achieve his goals doesn’t just darkly suggest that Genos’ capacity for fulfillment is irreversibly damaged by his decision making structure but it also invalidates his identity. 

What Genos thinks

All that being said it doesn’t really matter what I think, it matters what Genos thinks. Big questions about life, identity, and one’s own body, can’t really be determined by other people. The important thing is, if Genos decides that becoming a cyborg was a mistake, then it was a mistake for him. I think at this point he’s terrified that becoming a cyborg was a mistake but it’s hard for me to see if that terror has settled into certainty or resignation. 

I think if he has a certainty about that question it could give him some calm and clarity to help him make the next steps, after he goes through a grieving process. But I think if he’s resigned to the belief that he made a mistake it might indicate that he doesn’t really want to believe it was a mistake for him, he just believes that the mistake is that it limits him from achieving his goals, which is -in itself- a limiter which could be broken. 

Frankly, I think Genos is wrong to assume that his cyborg body is the problem. Once again rejecting himself, assuming he’s the problem, and focusing on a possibly unsolvable external problem rather than strengthening his mind and working on his internal land-scape. 

Expectations

Despite all of this, I have relatively low expectations. Somehow I expect ONE to write off being a cyborg as a character defect which, although solvable somehow (because ONE does like to provide solutions even if they’re tough ones) is a great sacrifice/tragedy. I do expect that somehow Genos will monsterfy (I doubt he looks so much like Ichigo’s hollow (Bleach) on accident after all) and I would not at all be surprised if this transformation provided him with a new body of some kind, who knows maybe merging flesh and cybernetics to be truly biomechanical (wouldn’t that be something after all?) I expect that Genos will somehow be able to recover and at the end of his arc there will be a path forward and I expect that path forward will be a difficult but achievable one. I am genuinely looking forward to the conclusion, even though I am somewhat expected to be disappointed. 

Conclusion

Genos absolutely doesn’t need a fucking flesh suit to be an hero, to be happy, to be functional member of society, or to be whatever he wants. He can be whatever the fuck he wants. If he wants to be a Cyborg he should be able to be a Cyborg and be happy! But ONE may be using cybernetics as a cautionary tale against emotional/psychological crutches, in which case it would make some degree of sense that ONE would choose to give Genos a stupid flesh suit. And even though I won’t even be mad I will be disappointed. 

>:(

Anyway, that’s my ‘hot take’. 

Feel free to ask any follow up questions! 

[parasiticghostwasps]

@echotheloser said: Yeah… I love the game but I have some issues with how disabled characters are portrayed. I definitely prefer to think about it like this.

@ask-kazushuu said: This blog’s Shrine AU’s Hitori has some sleeping problems, but I haven’t thought about actually giving him narcolepsy. Maybe he has sleep paralysis and hallucinations, trauma regarding all the orphanage kids, but he’s doing about as well as Nageki. (So somewhat?). It’s sad to give Hitori narcolepsy regardless, but I do like the idea…

(replies to this post)

Putting most of this under a cut because I accidentally wrote a lot in trying to consolidate my thoughts. Which are complicated and kinda all over the place. And then I tacked some headcanons on at the end because why not do that while we’re here.

Warning that there’s brief discussion of Hitori being a murderer in here.

I’ve just been thinking about it after I read a translation of the guidebook story in which narcolepsy is specifically name-dropped. I already knew hypnagogic/hypnopompic hallucinations and sleep paralysis as symptoms of narcolepsy before getting into Hatoful and had independently associated Kageki with that even before the guidebook affirmed that line of thought to me. At the same time, Kageki is there to externalize “Nanaki’s” warped perspective for the audience and present the story in an interesting way. Why Kageki exists in-universe is superseded by the way in which he’s used in telling the story.

Part of what I like about Hatoful is the way that things are exaggerated and not firmly grounded in reality. I like the way that kind of storytelling can focus on honesty of feelings and relationships and express those things in creative and artful ways. So like. I don’t expect realism from Moa and that’s not what I want from her. I might even prefer if no real-world labels were attached to “Nanaki’s” disorder, I’m not really sure. 

Still, I think there can be value in using Hitori as a path to exploring a more grounded approach to writing a character with narcolepsy. I would like to try that, writing him using the real-world experiences of people with narcolepsy as a reference point and see where it takes me.

And I definitely understand if other people don’t want to lean into reading Hitori and “Nanaki” as a disabled character. He is a murderer in the main storyline. And the world does not need any more reinforcement of the ableist stereotype that people with hallucinations and/or delusions are violent killers. “Nanaki” is framed with more sympathy than many characters that are comparable in that sense, but it’s something that sticks to him nonetheless. My personal impulse to address this is to make him similarly disabled regardless of the universe, which is where I was coming from in my original post. But if other people feel like “I wouldn’t want to touch that issue even with a 10-foot-pole,” I completely understand.

One thing I thought was interesting is if we assume he’s being honest (which is a big “if”) about how much he sleeps outside of work when he’s talking about what he did over break and what he said on the drama CD, “Nanaki’s” disorder seems more like idiopathic hypersomnia, with the tendency to sleep for long, unbroken periods of time. (In contrast, narcolepsy involves both falling asleep in the middle of the day and waking up a bunch at night.) He also is never clearly depicted as experiencing anything like cataplexy (involuntary loss of muscle tone, often associated with intense emotions) as far as I remember, which isn’t associated with hypersomnia. Hypersomnia isn’t associated with hallucinations in the same way narcolepsy is, either, though. Still, that’s another direction he could be taken in.

Anyway, with all that out of the way, here’s some assorted thoughts on how writing Hitori with narcolepsy could work in an AU where both Nageki and Kazuaki are alive.

I imagine that the onset would be gradual enough that it would take a while for anyone to notice that there’s been a change. It takes quite a few months of “Sorry about that, I guess I’ve been pretty tired/haven’t been sleeping well lately” and “I don’t know why I’m so clumsy all of a sudden” before he or anyone comes to the conclusion that whatever’s going on isn’t going to just resolve on its own.

I trust that Shuu is the first person to suspect narcolepsy and wants to run tests and maybe even do a case study. He approaches it in a suitably weird and ominous way like “I have my suspicions about what’s going on, but I’d like to perform a lumbar puncture to be sure.”

Hitori eventually ends up on assorted medications that make things smoother, but he still needs to take naps throughout the day and has to be especially careful about his diet and sleep hygiene.

One might think that having a serious disability could help him to be more understanding of Kazuaki, but no. Having to work harder to just live his life only makes Hitori more resentful of what he perceives as Kazuaki not trying very hard. This is super unfair of him. He even kinda has a slightly guilty feeling like it’s unfair of him, but he wouldn’t attempt to change his thinking unless someone called him out on it.

I think it’s super funny when “Nanaki” just shows up to the infirmary to nap and I want to continue this proud tradition. Hitori might be marginally more tactful about it, but he still basically imposes himself. And once he has a diagnosis he’s like “You can’t turn me away, this is necessary for my healthy functioning.” Shuu’s just like “please set up a bed elsewhere”

Without any event (or combination of events) that is socially isolating in the way Nageki’s death was, I don’t think Hitori would buy into any hallucinations anywhere near as strongly as he does in BBL. Even if the massacre at Hatoful House still happens, I think he trusts Nageki enough (and would hopefully eventually trust other people, too, relying on only one other person isn’t healthy, Hitori, you dumb bitch) that even the voices of the dead wouldn’t be more convincing than Nageki’s assurance that they’re just vivid nightmares. It would still be deeply upsetting to be hearing from false ghosts voicing his greatest fears, though.

It’s usually fairly easy for him to recognize what’s real and what isn’t after the fact using context. Occasionally he’ll swear something happened that no one else remembers and it’s frustrating, but he can begrudgingly accept that.

Hitori avoids bringing up narcolepsy to people who don’t already know he has it. He doesn’t want to deal with people getting weird ideas about him or have to explain himself too much. And mostly people don’t think about it aside from thinking he’s a bit weird. It isn’t the most ideal impression people could have of him, but it is more convenient.

[soveryanon]

Part 3 of The Magnus Archives liveblogging; MAG034 to MAG040 *strangled mix of happy and sad noises* (As usual: contains spoilers (until the end of season 3) that I really should not have known anything about, were I a decent person, with also the possibility that I misunderstood said spoilers.) (One last time: warning for… length.)

… when I had mentioned to @sazandorable​ about the end of MAG033 that ahaha, Jon’s audible frustration seemed to be his equivalent of (╯°Д°）╯︵ ┻━┻ flipping a table, I had been answered with a “:))) Flipping a table, you say.” And now that I've listened to what followed, obviously, let’s be clear, I’m so, so mad about her comment, but at the same time, it’s the only one I could have ever accepted.

One of the first things I ever heard about the series was Aza commenting about the podcast she was listening to that had one assistant replaced, but nobody had noticed she wasn’t the same. So given that Sasha was the one female assistant… I knew it would be her. The statement about Graham Folger (MAG003) had made me guess that something similar would happen but I hadn’t understood that the problem was apparently the table. So when ~something big~ was delivered in MAG035, then confirmed to be a table in MAG036, I was expecting that it would be the thing that would get Sasha killed, and indeed, the table it was ;; (AND IT STINGS EVEN MORE THAN WHAT I BELIEVED.)

Alternative headlines for this post: - Local man SAVAGELY MURDERS ONE OF MARTIN’S SPIDER ROOMMATES, unleashes worms apocalypse in the process. -

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Because I’m scared, Martin! Because when I record these statements it feels… it feels like I’m being watched.

Me, having been wondering for a while where I stand as a receptor/listener/audience, pen in hand and ready to take notes, wondering how long it will take for him to squeeze out his backstory or any personal information: *whispers softly* I have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetie.

That said.

Gooooooooooooooods, I’m so maaaaaaad about Jon =D

You got me, you scoundrel!!

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Of course, I believe. Of course I do. Have you ever taken a look at the stuff we have in Artefact storage? That’s enough to convince anyone. But, but even before that… Why do you think I started working here? It’s not exactly glamorous. I have… I’ve always believed in the supernatural. Within reason. I mean. I still think most of the statements down here aren’t real. Of the hundreds I’ve recorded, we’ve had maybe… thirty, forty that are… that go on tape. Now those, I believe, at least for the most part.

I WAS WONDERING SO HARD WHY YOU WERE WORKING THERE, YEAH!!! It was so fitting with his overall… attitude, that yes, he would be a sceptic and dismiss most of the supernatural cases, except for the few that he was a bit more knowledgeable about, mostly Jane Prentiss and the Leitner books. Of course he would, with his elitism and scholar haughtiness!!  I had assumed that he would get convinced with due facts over the course of the series. I wasn’t expecting that actually, no, he had always believed in those things and was just lying through his teeth while recording!! Despite the fact that I was strongly suspecting that he was being an Unreliable Narrator!! (I had guessed that yes, he was hiding some information; not that he was purposely trying to mislead whoever was listening when it came to his personal opinions in the matter.)

It mostly gave me two good keys to handle the series: on the one hand, that characters are aware of the oddities around them. Obviously, as a listener, you immediately guess that if only a few statements resist technology, then it might be because these ones are paranormal, unlike the ones that work on computer just fine, which are probably a load of bullcrap; but you also accept that… characters might be a bit dumber, because they’re in a story and, well, it’s easier to guess about the narrative when you’re not inside of it? But nop. They were aware from the start that there are paranormal events around them, that the Institute is a living proof of it, and that the fact that some statements weren’t recording on computer meant something about them.

(MAG039) SASHA: Jon, what did you mean by “real statements”? ARCHIVIST: You know what I mean. The ones that have weird wrinkles, or that just seem to have something solid to them. They all have one thing in common. SASHA: They don’t record digitally. ARCHIVISTl: And we have to use the tape recorder. At this stage, if it records to my laptop I almost don’t bother.

And on the other hand, it also explained to me that Jon, as a main character, might hide things from us (listeners/tape recorders) or from other characters, and that there can be a gap between the moment he does realize something and the moment he feels ready to publicly admit it. Which, obviously, makes things way more challenging!! And interesting!! I’ve been liking him more and more lately anyway but this, by itself, would have been a good reason to decide that okay, yes, I surrender, I do Like Him A Lot as a character. … Okay, no, to be perfectly honest: I do love him as a character, he has achieved that status already.

Jonathan “You smoke?” “Nnnnnoooooo…” Sims

* eufinjkrefdhuinjIUHJNUILBUTHJNIUYB JOOOOOOOONNNNNNN………

(MAG036) TIM: Er, what is it? ARCHIVIST: A lighter. An old Zippo. TIM: You smoke? ARCHIVIST: No. … And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive!

(I like his tone here! First a bit distant, pensive?, then firm and almost scolding; the Archives are now His Baby and he didn’t want to give Tim any bad ideas, uh.) Ooooh, that self-righteous tone he used followed by the return of his stuck-up voice, which kind of implied “how dare you even suggest I might have smoked one cigarette in my lifetime!! And you better not do it in my Archives or I’ll skin you!!”, vs. three episodes later:

(MAG039) SASHA: […] I think John’s got a lighter somewhere. ELIAS: He’s not smoking again, is he?

… JON, YOU LITTLE SHIT. *buries face in hands* So yeah, he used to smoke, but it doesn’t match with his Respectable Image apparently so he won’t even tell his own assistants. (I’m still HYSTERICAL over his deadpan answer to Tim… yes, this is not a lie, but it’s the moment you should mention you used to smoke if you want to be absolutely honest, and he just. he just didn’t. and dodged. and almost scolded Tim. JON. JON. J O N!!!) * Relatedly, I LOVE HOW HE CAN STILL BE AN ELITIST STUCK-UP ASS IN TIMES OF CRISIS. When ~something~ was banging on the wall and threatening to break it down, and they were assuming that it was Jane Prentiss/the worms:

(MAG039) MARTIN: I thought that wall was meant to be solid?! ARCHIVIST: So did I. We don’t have any sort of weapon, do we? MARTIN: I mean… I mean, I suppose we could use— ARCHIVIST: Don’t say the corkscrew! MARTIN: Okay.

The corkscrew SAVED YOUR LIFE, Jon, show it a bit more respect!! (Poor Martin who just… obeyed this one.) * It’s… not exactly surprising, but noteworthy to point out that Jon never wondered why he was being targeted by Jane Prentiss.

(MAG022) ARCHIVIST: I just received another text message. From you. “Keep him. We have had our fun. He will want to see it when the Archivist’s crimson fate arrives.” MARTIN: What does that mean? ARCHIVIST: It means I ask Elias to hire some extra security.

(MAG039) PRENTISS: Archivist. TIM: Ah. ARCHIVIST: Shit.

Jane Prentiss was here for him, and she/it/they made it pretty clear all along. Yet, Jon never questioned it; why would he, personally, be the one to get targeted? It… does make sense, given Jon’s personality, to think that he just thought that yes, if someone had to be pursued, it would be him, but it’s still curious that he… absolutely rolled with it. Never wondered if he had caused something that would lead him to deserve this situation, or if he had any connection to Jane Prentiss somehow, nothing. (My spoiled self takes note that she used the “Archivist” title every time, and that for her/it/them, Archivists are probably interchangeable? The thing she was becoming hated the last one, so she went after the following one. Is it absolutely because of Martin that she targeted the Archives, because he had accidentally met her, or was she planning to go after them at some point anyway?) * He was all Defensive about “MY ARCHIVE” and all, but his standards dropped quickly when it came to Jane Prentiss vomiting in their files:

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: What’s [Jane Prentiss] doing? MARTIN: I don’t know. She’s messing with the boxes. She’s holding one up and… ahh! ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: She’s… She’s destroying them. Sort of. ARCHIVIST: Sort of? MARTIN: Well, I don’t really know what that stuff coming out of her mouth is, but I think we should probably burn them. ARCHIVIST: Right.

I was expecting Jon to take offense about Martin’s suggestion, to scream something along the lines of Over My Dead Body, Martin, but nop. Suddenly, burning their own files doesn’t seem so Out Of The Question anymore, uh. * I realize that I never really wondered about what kind of computer Jon is using for work. I just assumed, I just know he can only be using a Mac (not tech-oriented enough for Linux; way too snobby to use Windows; so Mac it is. Search Your Feelings, You Know It To Be True.) * I was amused and curious at the beginning of MAG034 (the one with Dr. Lionel Elliott), since Jon sounded… way less harsh with him than with Naomi or Melanie, the only live statement-givers so far excluding Martin&Sasha. So I was wondering: was that casual sexism or casual elitism, since Dr. Elliott was a scholar? Was Jon a bit more sympathetic with him because of affinity with fellow academics? AND THEN JON’S POST-STATEMENT MADE IT CLEAR THAT IT WAS BECAUSE “FELLOW ACADEMICS” ARE USUALLY THE ENEMY.

(MAG034) ARCHIVIST: The first thing about this statement that makes me dubious is that it comes from a fellow academic. Historic and prestigious as the Magnus Institute is, there are still many within the sphere of higher education that do not grant it the respect it deserves, and some have been known to make false statements as ill-conceived jokes.

So Jon is able to get cautious when he feels like being an ass could damage the Institute’s reputation, uh? Also, that’s super rich coming from Mister “I was initially inclined to re-file this statement in the ‘Discredited’ section of the Archive, a new category I’ve created that will, I suspect, be housing the majority of these files” (MAG001). It was also super-funny to have… someone who was closer to a “reflection” of Jon himself than previous statement-givers:

(MAG034) ARCHIVIST: And the apple, did you… eat it? DR. ELLIOTT:  Do I look like an idiot?!

Take that, Jon =DDD (I mean, yes, sorry Dr Elliott, you probably do look like an idiot to Jon, but then everyone does, and Jon himself has admitted that he is one, so.)

(MAG034) ARCHIVIST: Oh good lord! That’s… DR. ELLIOTT: Deeply unpleasant, yes. You can keep it, if you want. As proof. ARCHIVIST: We do not want it. I’m afraid it isn’t really proof.

“Deeply unpleasant” sounds like something Jon would have usually said, and I’m still cackling hard that Jon Didn’t Want The Apple but used a “we” to cover his own personal disgust before trying to back-up his rejection with ~logical arguments~ (“I just said it was enough of a possibility that I don’t think your… tooth apple has a place in our artefact storage. Also, it is technically medical waste.”), pffft. And he still ended up taking the apple!! Or at least the teeth. * Too classy for puns, but will do them anyway, and TWICE, TO BE SURE THAT EVERYBODY HAS HEARD HIS JOKES, JON PLEASE, YOU NEED A LIFE… YOU NEED FRIENDS THAT AREN’T TAPE RECORDERS… (Especially with his “You should have seen Tim’s face when […]”: if the only “you” in his life is the damn tape recorder, then yeah. Jon no.)

(MAG035) ARCHIVIST: […] On the one hand, this statement represents a complete dead end […]. From an evidence standpoint, this case is a complete bust. […] It seems we’ve reached something of a dead end. No pun intended.

And it wasn’t the first time he was making puns (MAG024: “No details are given, but it apparently required Mr Rentoul’s hospitalisation. I’m reminded of a somewhat tasteless joke about loose tongues.”) and he even had already made this one (MAG029: “Aside from that it’s almost a complete dead end.”) and would again make it later (MAG036: “Another tale full of dead ends.”) So, obligatory “dead end(s)” joke when a death is involved, but he just has trouble owning up to his puns when he makes them, uh. But he does anyway, and it seems like the universe just loves to give him his due for his puns!

(MAG035) ARCHIVIST: […] End recor— Urgh! Goddamn it! [SOUND OF METAL CANISTER BEING KNOCKED] Martin! [DOOR OPENS] Martin, where did you put the rest of the extinguishers? Martin!

Here, that was terrible, have some worms! I’m so fond of the way his voice just… switched, from cold professional sternness to sheer disgust. (It sounded like just another day, at the same time… So yeah, not the first time worms managed to sneak into the Archives at this point, apparently.) * Compared to the last batch of episodes, I had the faint feeling that Jon miiiiight be a bit better lately? That he sounded less tired overall? But then, his conversation with Tim in MAG036 made it obvious that… no, there is still lingering tiredness: he’s less in control of his voice when he’s surprised or questioned, needs more pauses before wording something, sounds like he’s searching for what to say (even though his answers stay sharp)…

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah, nothing urgent, um, it’s just Elias was asking a couple questions about the delivery. ARCHIVIST: Delivery? What delivery? TIM: Ah well, that’s actually what he was asking, huh! Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it? ARCHIVIST: No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk drawer, hold on.

… and he didn’t even pay attention to the delivery Martin had mentioned. mARTIN IS A GOOD BOY, it’s just you (/your memory) (/your current state) that sucks, Jon!! Someone sure is sleep-deprived, to forget things like this. (Sadly relatable.) The following episode just confirmed that yep, Jon was, in fact, Not Doing Any Better Sleep-wise:

(MAG037) MARTIN: […] Look, you need to get some sleep. [SILENCE] … I’ll see you later. […] ARCHIVIST: […] I have no idea what any of this means. I’m… very tired.

(Or was it because Jon took two statements consecutively? It’s not confirmed that MAG036 and MAG037 took place on the same day but it’s most likely: MAG036 ended with Jon announcing that he needed to talk to Martin, with some urgency, and MAG037 began with Jon ordering Martin to repeat what he had said on tape, and then using the same tape for his next statement.) Anyway, Martin has noticed that Jon is not fine ;____; * AND MARTIN NOTICED AGAIN that Jon is not fine in MAG040, as soon as the record begins, and despite the fact that Martin himself is exhausted:

(MAG040) MARTIN: [Tired] I mean, I already told the police. ARCHIVIST: Well, now tell me. I need to hear it, I need to record it. MARTIN: I… alright. … Are you okay? ARCHIVIST: Fine. Painkillers are starting to wear off, but… It’s fine.

(Martin’s small tired voice, while Jon’s was more impatient/jumpy, with the usual sharpness… but yeah, way less controlled. Pain sneaking its way back into his system.) The fact that the painkillers’ effects were wearing off and that the real state of his body was catching up on Jon was audible just with the way he was introducing statements this time around:

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: Statement of Elias Bouchard, Head of the Magnus Institute, regarding the… infestation, by the… entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss. Statement recorded direct from subject, 29th July 2016. … Whenever you’re ready.

[…] ARCHIVIST: […] Anyway. Statement of Timothy Stoker, archival assistant at the Magnus Institute, regarding the infestation by the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss. Statement recorded direct from subject, 29th July 2016. Just… take it from when you got back from lunch.

[…] ARCHIVIST: Statement of Sasha James, archival assistant at the Magnus Institute, regarding the invasion by the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss. Statement recorded direct from subject, 29th July 2016. In your own time.

[…] ARCHIVIST: […] It’s fine. Statement of Martin Blackwood, archival assistant, etcetera, etcetera. Go.

From getting back to the gist of it with Elias (and having to summarize what happened with Jane Prentiss in a few words), to repeating it almost words for words with Tim and Sasha (I hate your memory, Jon.), to butchering it with Martin because he is all out of spoons. * Though yeah, Jon A Bit High On Painkillers was a thing at the beginning of MAG040, too:

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: Our friends in the hazmat suits gave me a clean bill of health, bloody holes notwithstanding. And they seemed quite keen to quarantine anyone showing even the slightest sign of infection. It’s just… pain.

He was a bit nasal and out of it at the beginning of this one, that “Our friends in–” was hilarious, and I’m… not surprised, but howling a bit that Jon, even when exhausted and just coming out of traumatic events, with drugs in his system, casually uses the word “notwithstanding” (nonobstant!). Not fine, but still himself.

* I did notice that from MAG035 to MAG038, Jon was… not tearing down statements to pieces anymore in his follow-ups, not really. Those ones were a bunch of sad stories, and I wondered if Jon was trying to avoid being completely insensitive about these people (he was less judgemental, more neutral about the impossibility to cross-check information), or if he was just tired and fed up, or if he was getting convinced that yes, maybe, maybe there were dark forces at work down there… With MAG039’s reveals in mind, it’s probably that he was caring less and less about His Plan To Pretend That He Was Not Believing, uh ;; (But I’m glad I did notice that he sounded… less and less sceptic. Congrats, Jon, you kept that up for months!). * Does Jon even listen to his own recordings so far? It seems unlikely, since Tim had brought up a list of mistakes (MAG033) and Martin’s conversation with Breekon&Hope was recorded after MAG035’s statement, but Jon didn’t sound like he had heard it in MAG036 nor at the beginning of MAG037 (he asked for all the details that Martin could remember, but he could have had the audio information, at the very least, if he had listened to their conversation – or maybe he wanted the visual details?). We didn’t have any mention that not!Sasha had harmed the tape from MAG039 that Jon had kept, and the real Sasha had talked on that one too, so if Jon doesn’t realize soon that the voices are different… it might hint that he never relistened to that one either; which is a bit more understandable in that particular case (it was a testimony of his own traumatic experience, and he’s been clearly shaken by it). But overall: I don’t even know if it’s bad archiving practice, but at the very least: not proof-reading (/proof-listening?) is bad researching practice and Jon is giving me second-hand embarrassment. (<3)

(MAG037) ARCHIVIST: Waste of tape, really. [Martin]’s right. Might as well get some use out of it.

So Jon had a statement ready to be read…? Although he had recorded one not too long ago…? When would he have chosen to record this one, if not for the recorder being already on? (Also, please, someone explain to Jon that you can wipe and overwrite tapes. To get a fresh empty one for a later statement. Do students and researchers really need to hear you pressuring poor Martin to repeat the same information and being an overall ass to him?) * About Jon’s unreliability – or, at least, the fact that he isn’t sharing Everything with us. When he learned from Tim about the table that was delivered to the Institute for him, he inquired:

(MAG036) ARCHIVIST: Tim… Tim, it doesn’t have a hole in it, does it? About six inches square?

… But the only description we had of the table so far was Amy Patel’s, who had mentioned “the middle of the table, where there was nothing but a small square hole” (MAG003). There was no mention of the size of the hole. So I was wondering: was Jon able to know this because he’s actually getting supernaturally immersed in the statements (insert here all the imagery about falling/diving into a book, living the story as you read, etc.) and notices a lot more details than what was technically written, when he reads them? But then, when I mentioned this to Aza, she laughed and said that I also could have guessed the size of the hole on my own. … and yup, there sure was a mention of an item of that size: “a small wooden box, about six inches square” from Ivo Lensik’s statement (MAG008). Which means that THIS FUCKER CONNECTED THOSE DOTS AND DIDN’T BOTHER MENTIONING HIS CONCLUSIONS ONTAPE. EFF YOOOOOU JOOOOOON, HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME. He guessed that the box that was destroyed on November 2006 (MAG008) was the item that was supposed to fit into Graham Folger’s table – Graham having been “replaced” on April 7th 2006 (MAG001) – and never mentioned any of it, it’s just. RUDE. RUDE, JON. RUDE. * brb, still rolling on the floor over the fact that the Scepticism Was All An Act… Because JON WAS SCARED…….

(MAG039) MARTIN: Then why do you— ARCHIVIST: Because I’m scared, Martin! Because when I record these statements it feels… it feels like I’m being watched. I… I lose myself a bit. And then when I come back, it’s like… like if I admit there may be any truth to it, whatever’s watching will… know somehow. The scepticism, feigning ignorance. It just felt safer. MARTIN: Well… It wasn’t. ARCHIVIST: No. No, it wasn’t. Still, it’s not my fault we’re going to be eaten by worms.

That sounds very convoluted and at the same time… understandable and raw? Human? The fact that Jon was searching for his words and clearly remembering something unpleasant… aouch… I was wondering about the effects these statements had on Jon, Jane Prentiss’s aside, and aouch, he is able to tell that… there is something more. (Is that feeling due to their god, since I know there is somethingsomething about feeding the monster, or is that Elias in particular?) (And I love how Jon switches from giving a genuine confession about how he really feels and showing vulnerability… to compensating with bratty defence. “Still, it’s not my fault we’re going to be eaten by worms.” lISTEN, yes, technically not your fault, but Prentiss also quite clearly targets you and you only, so you could at least sympathize with Martin about how it’s even less his fault.) * Jon himself acknowledging that he is an idiot is… Beautiful…

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: [Bitter laugh] I hope so. Only an idiot would stay in this job. MARTIN: [Chuckles] Wouldn’t that make you an idiot? ARCHIVIST: Yes, Martin, that was my point.

(Fortunately, Martin does things that Jon sees as “stupid”, too, so hey! Good match.

(MAG039) MARTIN: Well, so the worms didn’t know they were there! Look, I know it’s stupid. ARCHIVIST: Yes. Yes it is. They’re just… they’re just unclassified parasites. They don’t have consciousness, they can’t plan, they’re just an unthinking infection.

I’m still “………..” over the fact that Jon can word it that way with a straight face/voice.) * He countered Martin’s pessimism later but there was also an instance where he was… very grim and matter-of-fact, resigned, about Tim’s chances of survival, and it hurt.

(MAG039) SASHA: Turn around. Just turn around. MARTIN: Oh god. There she is, there she is. ARCHIVIST: [Muttering] There’s nothing we can do.

But in the same episode, there was ultimately some Trust And Complicity between Tim and Jon, that I’m not really able to describe.

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: […] I’m recording this in case— TIM: In case the trapdoor opens back into the Archives and Prentiss is there to kill us. ARCHIVIST: In as many words, yes. Tim? TIM: Alright. [TRAPDOOR IS PUSHED OPEN TO SOUND OF FIRE ALARM AND LOTS OF WRITHING] PRENTISS: Archivist. TIM: Ah. ARCHIVIST: Shit. [CLICK]

If it had been Martin, Jon would have snapped, probably. But Tim summarizing their worst case scenario like this? Got a free pass. (Also, that was, once again, one hell of a way to end an episode. JON. JON SAID “SHIT”. HOLY FUCKING FUCK. You knew it means Seriously Bad.) ;; They went in that… together, uh. Despite the fact that Tim was clearly collateral damage. * I had wondered a lot about whether or not Jon was afraid of dying, or had a special stance about death… and it sounds like it was more a matter of how he could die, without being able to have a say in the circumstances surrounding it. As a result, Jon sounded past everything, reaching a point in which okay, yes, he could laugh about the possibility of dying, it was coming and he could try to face it since it would be on his terms (recording everything). I am also a bit surprised that apparently, he is way more afraid of dying of ~rational~ causes (bullets means guns means clear intent from a human behind the act) than from a supernatural entity.

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: Gertrude Robinson, the last Archivist at the Magnus Institute, and my predecessor, was murdered. […] She was killed, in the Archives, by someone who used a gun… and that scares me far more than any spectre or twisted creature. Because that means someone here is a killer. […] There is something in these files, in these statements. I know that now, some deeper mystery. I think Gertrude Robinson found it, and I think that is why they killed her.

The… sheer… dread… in Jon’s voice in that second sentence… (complete with a self-depreciative half-laugh/shaking of voice)……. his delivery was slower, way less firm than usual, and I wanted to learn more about Jon, I wanted to get to know the real actual Jon under the layers of this façade, and I’m getting it… through the form of terror… * There were a string of declarations about “seeing” starting MAG038, mostly from Jon, which culminated with Sasha’s death and replacement at the end of MAG039, and aouch T_T First, Jon and the spider:

(MAG038) ARCHIVIST: […] Urgh. Urgh. [SOUND OF CHAIR SCRAPING] I see you…

(MAG038) SASHA: […] Do you see anything? […] ARCHIVIST: No, I don’t think so, it… [WORM SOUND INTENSIFIES] Sasha, run. RU—

(You don’t see worms, you hear/smell them first…?)

(MAG039) SASHA: Do you see Prentiss? If we could get her— MARTIN: I, I, I don’t see her! I don’t see her! I don’t see her! I don’t see her!

(MAG039) SASHA: Can you see what’s going on out there? MARTIN: Ish. When did we last clean these doors? ARCHIVIST: What can you see?

(MAG039) MARTIN: There! There, there, there! I see him! SASHA: Oh god, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t see them.

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Right. There we go. Martin, what do you see? […] I need you to describe what’s going on.

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: […] Speaking of, can you see anything? MARTIN: I don’t know. I can’t see because the window is covered in worms.

(MAG039) TIM: Why do you have a second tape recorder, Martin? MARTIN: Oh, um… well, I’ve been using it to record myself. I write poetry and I think the tapes have a sort of… low-fi charm. ARCHIVIST: … I see.

(MAG039) SASHA: […] [Hushed and panicked] Jon! Jon, I think there’s someone here. Hello? I see you. Show yourself.

(MAG039) NOT!SASHA: [Words warped] Hello? … I see you. [FOOTSTEPS] [Clearly] I see you.

(… In a lot of cases, circumstances and tones, though, Martin was saying that he couldn’t see. Mm…) * I had discovered tired!Jon with last batch of episodes, but I now have… shaken!Jon. Very, very shaken Jon. He insists on getting other people’s statements in MAG040, despite not being fine, and in the end… we don’t know, technically, what happened when Tim and Jon went face to holes-in-the-face with Prentiss? Jon insists on skipping the subject every time it comes up (because he already knows what happened to him): but what happened exactly? Did they have time to try to flee? Did they scramble to get away? Was it Prentiss launching worms at them (like with the nurses when she had been hospitalized), was it a wave of worms covering them? Was it slower, a few worms biting them, allowing them to still be conscious of the others coming, allowing them to cling on to the hope that they might manage to flee? Was it quick, was it excruciating minutes? Jon doesn’t want to share that story (at least for now?), and when that timeframe comes up in discussions, his breathing, pretty often… becomes Wrong:

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] I do apologise that it took me quite so long to figure out how to actually work the system. If I’d been quicker… ARCHIVIST: It’s fine. We’re alive. ELIAS: … Yes… Well. […]

(Grunts noises from Jon, towards the end, before he cuts Elias short.) (Also, Elias didn’t ask Jon to define that “We” and :[)

(MAG040) TIM: […] Could’ve been worse though, eh? Another couple of minutes and— ARCHIVIST: Yes. … Yes. It was… … Anyway. […]

That was Jon cutting him and stopping the words (didn’t want to hear how it could have been worse – to picture that it could have been worse. Jon’s distress tends to express in ragged breathing, while Tim’s is more in his expirations.

(MAG040) NOT!SASHA: I went over to check, and you were alive, so I pulled you back to where there was more air and began to remove the worms. Are you alright? ARCHIVIST: Sorry, just… difficult to hear, you know.

Heeeeeeeeeee was breathing very heavily. It’s hard, for him, to hear anything about when he came into contact with the worms. * I already know about Jon’s Compulsion power, I’ve been very attentive to when he was asking questions, to try to guess if it could be there or not, and there hadn’t been a “oh, that might be it?” moment… UNTIL MAG040.

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: Martin. How did Gertrude Robinson die? MARTIN: I don’t know – not for sure. It was so dark, and I only saw the body for a few seconds. The police were quite clear that the cause of death could be absolutely any— ARCHIVIST: MARTIN, how did she die?! MARTIN: She was shot! Three times, that I could see. … Three shots to the chest. ARCHIVIST: Right. … Right… Thank you Martin. MARTIN: … Sure.

1°) I’m guessing that yes, the thing about the compulsion is that… it will go undetected for a while, because obviously, ordering an answer is close to demanding one, and by essence, people come to talk with Jon, so they’re less likely to refuse to give him answers. But here, I got a chill, because: was Martin trying to avoid to say that Gertrude had been shot (to not upset Jon further), or had he been unable to remember, before this exchange, that he had actually seen her with bullet wounds in her body? Could be both; either Martin was circling with weak excuses, either he was genuinely reminding Jon of the context to explain that he hadn’t seen the body in details… and then was suddenly able to tell. (As a result, it’s… not sure that the police knows about the bullet wounds. Martin’s sentence was actually going in the other direction; but he could have been trying to bullshit Jon then ;;) 2°) Their tones escalate, Jon’s voice is VERY firm when he pressures Martin, and then Martin also spoke in a louder voice… and right after, it passed. Their voices were super thin, almost whispers. 3°) … I’m crying that, yeah, if it was the compulsion-I-heard-about… it looks like the first time Jon used it was on Martin. On Martin. That’s… so horrible, why is it always Martin?! ;____; * I’m… very emotional over Jon’s enthusiasm when he explained how he actually works, what he truly thinks, what he finds interesting in the Institute, etc. He was so passionate! Sounded so alive when he explained his reasoning! There was adrenalin, there was fear and pain, there was urgency and danger, and he was… past that? There was some pure, genuine, untainted glee about how… things are currently a puzzle, and he wants to piece things together, he wants to keep working on these things, he want to tackle the work that still needs to be done, while being well aware of the bad aspects (he feels watched, he feels scared, but he knows that they've put their finger on something). With his own restrictions unbuckled, I don’t think I had ever heard Jon so genuine and simply… happy. (Happy to talk about what he is passionate about? Happy to drop the act? Happy to be able to be seen for what he is?)

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Look, even if you ignore the walking soil-sack out there, and the fact that we are probably minutes from death, there is still so much more happening here. MARTIN: I’m not sure we can really ignore the— ARCHIVIST: Every real statement just leads… deeper into something I don’t even know the shape of yet.

1°) mARTIN (I love/hate how Jon just. Ignores him sometimes x’D But Martin is right, it’s not like they could make abstraction of the current issues.) 2°) Jon sounding passionate and genuinely interested in what he does!! … On the other hand, I’m sobbing in advance: this is why he is ~good~ for the work, but it’s… not a good thing at the same time, is it. His personality fits, but fits so well that it’s also why he is doomed, isn’t he. The curiosity, the “need” (craving) to know at any cost… * … On that note, it’s horrifying to realize that… yes, Jon never questioned why Jane Prentiss targeted him personally. But also: that Jon himself didn’t do anything during the crisis except using the tape recorders, giving reports of what was happening, and asking others (Martin) to describe what they were seeing when he himself couldn’t get up. He didn’t kill worms (he shouted to Martin to get the fire extinguishers); he had trouble taking decisions (and Martin led them to the backroom); we didn’t even hear him removing worms from the others (but we got to hear Sasha crushing one that had previously been buried in him); he didn’t try to warn Tim (unlike Sasha and Martin) or to save him (like Sasha did); Tim was the one to destroy the wall and to lead them in the tunnels, to open the trapdoor… Jon did nothing but witness and record what others were doing. (And yet, he got the worst of it, along with Tim ;;) * Yay, Jon got terrible experiences! But he faced them with Tim! Yeah, okay, he sounded too adamant about getting proof of people’s official stances of things, and it sounded more like he was trying to see if there was any contradiction or if someone had lied by cross-checking testimonies–

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: Fine! Fine. I’ll go home as soon as I have everyone’s statements.

–but maybe after this traumatic event, it will lead to more friendliness and camaraderie amongst the staff, they have bonded, and the power of friendship will–

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: […] but I cannot trust anyone. I’m going to figure this out, and I’m not going to stop. … They’ll have to kill me first. End recording.

noooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (And it comes from someone who is terrified of dying!!! Jon, what the fuck!! Don’t!!!)

I’m really fond of the fact that in the end… Jon is not exactly a “narrator” but still acts a bit like it for us listeners (he’s a mediation between us and the story, it’s through him and what he accepts to tell us that we’re able to discover this universe) and at the same time, hides. Hides information from us, hides himself from us; it makes me want to know more about him, despite the fact that he is the character we’re following? He makes concessions sometimes, lets some things slip, but it’s overall hard to know what he’s thinking, what he’s planning. At this point, I have this question nagging in my mind, I want to know (and maybe it is the core of the story): Who is Jon? Who is he as a person? What does he think and feel, under his facades? (… and the only way for me to know that is through the tapes, isn't it. And “discovering/learning who Jon is” is precisely what the Beholding is doing through the tapes, isn’t it. I would like to know more about him, but it’s also impossible to do that without him getting hurt, isn’t it…)

Martin Blackwood

^It was an headline from the French equivalent of The Onion from last month aND IT WAS FITTING. * Martin writes poetry!!! <333

(MAG039) TIM: Why do you have a second tape recorder, Martin? MARTIN: Oh, um… well, I’ve been using it to record myself. I write poetry and I think the tapes have a sort of… low-fi charm.

And heeeeeee’s now using a tape recorder, too. Great. (D:) He also temporarily acted as Jon’s eyes when they were hiding in the sealed room (MAG039)… so it sounds like he’s walking in Jon’s footsteps, uh. * Did he get a new phone, at the very least, since Jane Prentiss had kept it in MAG022 (and texted Jon). What did she do of the phone afterwards. Did the Institute pay for Martin's new phone, or not even. * He had been living in the Archives for four months when Jane Prentiss attacked ;; … And he has squirrel-like tendencies, apparently, hoarding fire extinguishers:

(MAG035) ARCHIVIST: […] Martin, where did you put the rest of the extinguishers? Martin!

(MAG039) MARTIN: … Maybe. Maybe, maybe he found the spare CO2. ARCHIVIST: Spare? What? Where? I never saw any. MARTIN: Oh, I, er… I, I hid them in old casefile boxes. ARCHIVIST: What, why? MARTIN: Well, so the worms didn’t know they were there! Look, I know it’s stupid.

(MAG039) TIM: Funny story really. I ran into the office, worms everywhere, horrible death and everything, tripped and fell in some boxes and there were like 20 cans of gas in there.

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] in fact I was getting ready to raise the issue of Martin’s continuing to live in the Institute’s basement, especially as I believe he’s been stealing fire extinguishers.

(Listen, I. I relistened to this last one many many times and it’s unrelated but I need to share this: jON CHUCKLED AT THIS!! At least, there was air coming out through his nose, and it definitely sounded like a chuckle. Martin did something that cracks Jon up. Martin!! Martin, you scored!!!) Anyway, he stashed these fire extinguishers in Jon’s office aND IT SAVED TIM, give this boy a raise!! Also, the heck Elias, there could surely be other reasons than “I’m suspecting him of stealing fire extinguishers” to reconsider having someone living in your workplace for four months. * … Martin and spiders continue to be a Thing, uh.

(MAG016) ARCHIVIST: […] But as I told Martin earlier, he was there for over a week, so there is very likely a perfectly natural explanation for the fact that his body was completely encased in web.

(MAG022) MARTIN: […] I like spiders. Big ones, at least. Y’know, y’know the ones you can see some fur on; I actually think they’re sort of cute—

(MAG022) MARTIN: […] And then I remembered that I’d seen quite a lot of spider webs in the brief time I was down there, and maybe I should check it out again. I mean, like I said, I’m not really afraid of spiders. So… I went back for another look.

(MAG038) ARCHIVIST: Ah… Yeah, a… a spider. […] I tried to kill it… […] SASHA: Did you get it? ARCHIVIST: Ah… I hope so. Think so. Nasty, bulbous looking thing. SASHA: [Chuckles] Well, I won’t tell Martin. ARCHIVIST: Oh, god. I don’t think I could stand another lecture on their importance to the ecosystem.

(MAG039) MARTIN: I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t… move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck. […] No, no… it’s just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too.

(More on that last one later.)

(MAG040) MARTIN: […] There was dust on everything. […] No worms. No cobwebs. Just… an old corpse. Gertrude Robinson.

(It’s… very strange of Martin to point out the absence of cobwebs. Mentioning absence of worms was logical, since they were the Main Threat, but why spontaneously notice that there were no trace of spiders…?) So!! Since Jon said that:

(MAG037) ARCHIVIST: […] We’re not in the business of destroying knowledge.

… Martin, you should really, really nickname all the spiders roaming around the archives variations of “Knowledge”. “Big Knowledge”, “Valuable Knowledge”, “Precious Knowledge”, “Important Knowledge (DO NOT KILL)”. Maybe, then, Jon would leave the creatures in peace. I do remember that Carlos Vittery had mentioned that there might be so many spiders around his flat because of the worms (MAG016: “Our building had acquired something of an infestation of some sort of insect I didn’t recognise – small, silvery worms, almost like maggots but slightly longer – and I assume that they provided a good meal for the eight-legged little monsters.”), and that Jane Prentiss herself had mentioned spiders in her attic when she discovered the nest (MAG032: “Was it the spiders? There were webs in the corners, around the entryway into the attic. I would watch them scurry and disappear in between the wooden boards. ‘Where are you going, little spiders?’ I would think. ‘What are you seeing in the dark? Is it food? Prey? Predators?’ […] Webs have a song as well, of course, but it is not the song of the hive.”). It sounds like spiders and worms are tied to entities that do not… really get along – or that spiders have the upper hand over the worms, overall. So, given that Jon discovered the infestation because a spider went to the wall in MAG038… was the spider attracted by the food? Was it tied to the lighter with the “spider web design” that Jon received in MAG035 and discovered in MAG036? Was it trying to attract the staff’s attention to get them to discover the worms before they would be ready to strike? … was it trying to warn Martin specifically, because hey, hey, friend, look! you’re in danger! there are some things behind the wall, but I have your back bro? * With Jon admitting that he had felt… observed, and the fact that there is still no official reason for him to have dissed Martin so hard before MAG022, I wonder if the two mightn't actually be linked. Sasha had mentioned, too, that she was apparently perceiving Martin as the weakest of the bunch (MAG026: “Martin is a great researcher, but his self-preservation instincts are not the strongest, and to be frank I thought that if this Prentiss were a danger everyone seemed to think, then he’d almost certainly be dead.”), and it didn’t sound like Jon was disagreeing with her – quite the contrary, he trusts her overall. … could it be possible that Jon purposely makes a point of portraying Martin as this incompetent, useless assistant when recording, hoping that if “things” were going to go after the staff members, then Martin could probably be spared if deemed too insignificant and not worth it? It’s just a hypothesis, I’m not firmly believing it, but it would then portray some of Jon’s decisions in another light: Jon thought he would protect the weakest assistant (while Tim and Sasha sounded competent enough to deal with mysterious forces), but then Martin was targeted first, and Jon would have realized that he had in fact miscalculated and designated him as the easiest one to target, hence the offer for Martin to stay in the Archives, protected. (I’m more ready to believe that it was either something spider-related on their first few days as coworkers, or something supernatural in Martin himself that makes people look down on him… but I find interesting to consider the possibility, now that I know that yes, Jon can lie, and will lie if he feels that it’s making his world safer.) * I Have So Many Feelings Over Jon & Martin’s ~heart-to-heart thing~ (AND IT’S JON WHO CALLED IT THAT…):

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: […] Why are you here Martin? MARTIN: Well, well, Prentiss is out there and you can’t run so— ARCHIVIST: I mean at the Archive in general. Why haven’t you quit? MARTIN: Are you giving me my review now? ARCHIVIST: No… We’re clearly doing a whole heart-to-heart thing and, truth be told, the question’s been bothering me. You’ve been living in the Archives for four months, constant threat of… this. Sleeping with a fire extinguisher and a corkscrew. Even you must be aware that that’s not normal for an archiving job? Why are you still here? MARTIN: [Considering] Don’t really know. I just am. It didn’t feel right to just leave. I’ve typed up a few resignation letters, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hand them in. I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t… move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck. ARCHIVIST: Martin…You’re not, uh… You didn’t die here, did you? MARTIN: What? What? N-No… what?! ARCHIVIST: No, I just… No, just the way you phrased that... MARTIN: Made you think I was a ghost? ARCHIVIST: No… it’s— MARTIN: No, no… it’s just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too. We all are, I think. [Sigh] … … A ghost? Really? ARCHIVIST: [Tiredly] Shut up Martin.

1°) Martin’s spontaneous answer is to mention the fact that he doesn’t want to abandon Jon in this precise situation!! Even when he hadn’t understood what Jon was really talking about!! (And he… kind of went back to the same kind of thing at the end, overall: that Jon is there, and that he’s staying there.) 2°) Jon never gave them their individual review before, did he. 3°) “WE’RE CLEARLY DOING A WHOLE HEART-TO-HEART THING” J O N… ;w; (I love how he still manages to be a bit dismissive of the concept, with that “thing”.) 4°) Jon, even before all the worms: is it normal for an archiving job to deal with all the stuff you’re dealing with in the statements. 5°) … JON THOUGHT THAT MARTIN MIGHT HAVE BEEN DEAD ALL ALONG… Martin getting so offended and not letting it go… (Was Jon ashamed of that one, since he went back to Dick Mode and told him to shut up at the end. Accusing someone of being a ghost sounded pretty stupid, granted <3) * My heart feels warm and fuzzy at the evolution from Jon dissing Martin when he wasn’t able to bring back some information (MAG014: “[Martin] could not find anyone that matches the admittedly vague description given here, though he informs me that he had some very pleasant chats about jigsaws. Useless ass.”), to… accepting that if Martin wasn’t able to, then it’s not his fault but exterior circumstances (MAG036: “[…] Martin’s research would seem to indicate the place employed a reasonable number of international staff they preferred to keep off the books, but it doesn’t explain why none of the officially-listed staff can be located for follow-up […].”) ;w; Martin is not deemed as incompetent anymore, he’s a researcher on the same level as the others now. * Even when he tries his best, though, he still had trouble getting his points across:

(MAG035) MARTIN: I’m sorry, are you two meant— […] Look, you really can’t actually— BREEKON: Package for Jonathan Sims. HOPE: Says right here. MARTIN: Well, I don’t really know where he— HOPE: We’ll just leave it with you. BREEKON: Be sure he gets it. MARTIN: Okay, I– I will, but you really do have to actually— BREEKON: ‘course. Much obliged. HOPE: Stay safe. MARTIN: … … I’ll… try? BREEKON: Your recorder’s on, by the way. HOPE: Might want to change that. MARTIN: Oh… hum… so it is. Thanks. BREEKON: No problem. HOPE: At all.

He was utterly dominated (verbally) by Breekon&Hope all through the exchange (they cut his sentences, led the conversation; probably were on each side of him, physically, a bit threatening, cornering him?), and it does sound like he got the ominous vibe from that “Stay safe” (his “I’ll… try?” was sooo cute). Despite it all, he keeps trying ><! He can also be pretty pessimistic and picturing the worst easily:

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Stay with it, Martin. Tim. What happened to Tim? MARTIN: They got split up and he ran into the office. You said that’s where you made the hole. When you were recording. And they all came through, so… he’s dead. He’s dead in there and he’s covered in worms and that’s it. ARCHIVIST: We don’t know that. MARTIN: … Maybe […].

* AOUCH AOUCH AOUCH… So Martin did mention the feeling of being trapped, with a sort of resignation? when it came to working in the Institute,

(MAG039) MARTIN: I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t… move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck.

… but that feeling was more raw when he lost himself in the tunnels:

(MAG040) MARTIN: […] I was trying to go back – not that I knew what back even meant down there – when I heard the scream. I don’t even know how to go about describing it, but I thought… well I hoped… Well, when I started to find the shrivelled bodies of worms all over the place, I knew she was dead. […] So I wanted to get out of there. I was looking for a way up, but it felt more and more like I was trapped. […] When I finally found a door, I thought it might actually get out, but instead…

And he did mention that he had a torch on him when he was down there (MAG040: “I, I always keep my torch on me, ever since I moved into the Archives so, I had that, at least.”), and…….. shit. It’s because he’s claustrophobic, isn’t it. (MAG015, Jon: “Martin declined to help with this investigation as he’s ‘a bit claustrophobic’”) He truly had prepared himself for the worst; ending in a dark, closed place, and the staff getting attacked by worms (he had the corkscrew ready to remove them…). * I’m all the more sad, as a result, that spontaneously (when frustrated or stressed), Jon goes back to… being dismissive of him, very casually.

(MAG037) ARCHIVIST: [Rosie] says the same as you. Two men, doesn’t know how they got in, too intimidated to ask, looked “exactly like you’d expect”. Useless… MARTIN: S-sorry… Look, John, I do think we should destroy the table, though. I mean, if it’s the one from Amy Patel’s statement. Just in case. ARCHIVIST: Elias told me the same thing. Luckily he phrased it as advice rather than an instruction, so for now I’m more inclined to keep studying it. We’re not in the business of destroying knowledge. MARTIN: I suppose. Can I go now? ARCHIVIST: Yes, go on. MARTIN: Thank you.

1°) I’m inclined to go “inb4 Martin was right” but at the same time, Elias was going in the same direction so mayyyybe not. (Or is it a matter of Elias allowing himself to be able to say “I told you so!” later on.) 2°) mY HEART BLED AT THIS “Useless…”??? JON, HOW FUCKING DARE U. And Martin answering with a stammering “S-sorry” ;___; And Martin asking permission to leave, and Jon… granting it?? Like Martin was a scolded child??? Fuck you, Jon!! All the bad things that will happen to you might be proportional to the ways you treated Martin, you can’t blame karma for biting you back in the butt!!!

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: […] Martin has disappeared. […] during one of the more alarming encounters, Martin ran off. TIM: He thought we were behind him, I think. ARCHIVIST: He didn’t think at all. Tim was with me, and my leg slowed me down. He must have taken a turn we didn’t see or something. We lost him. […]

Jon… still expected the worse from him? That Martin forgot about them? Which yes, could have been the case, but it’s still… going for the most individualistic (although understandable if you’re not Jon) option. Even Tim took Martin’s defence here? And according to Martin, it’s what happened!! Martin didn’t leave them on purpose!! ;_;

(MAG040) MARTIN: No, I mean… I’m sorry I left you. ARCHIVIST: … Oh Martin. MARTIN: [Tearful] It was an accident. I thought you two were with me! I mean, the worms came at us, and they were so much faster, and then there was the gas, and the running, and I just… I, I thought you were right behind me. But when I turned round you were gone. You were both gone. It was an accident. ARCHIVIST: I know. It’s fine, Martin.

Jonathan “I know” Sims, you trashtalked him behind his back in the previous episode!! :| (And Martin feels guilty about it, and I’m heartbroken, his VOICE when he apologizes and explains again and again that… he hadn’t wanted to leave them behind…) * WHY DOES MARTIN APOLOGIZE SO MUCH… You do nothing wrong, sweetie!!! ;___; Even when fucking effing JON praised him, even when Martin had saved their lives, it still ended up with Martin apologizing, somehow???

(MAG039) MARTIN: […] Look, you guys got to go home every day, okay. I didn’t! I’ve been thinking for a long time about what to do when… well, y’know, this happens. ARCHIVIST: [Softly] Well… thank you. SASHA: That’s why we’re here? MARTIN: Yeah. The room’s sealed, I checked it myself when I moved in. ARCHIVIST: Climate controlled, as well. Strong door. Soundproof. [Sigh] These old files are far better protected than we ever were. Alright, I’ll grant you it’s a good place to lay low, but— SASHA: They could still come in through the air con. ARCHIVIST: Not easily. And… not en masse. It is actually safe. MARTIN: Ha! ARCHIVIST: Except, of course, that we’re trapped. MARTIN: Ah… yeah. … sorry.

(It was super pessimistic of Jon to present it as them being “trapped”, though? Sure, they would feel trapped twenty-four hours later, but right now: they’re safe, they’re protected, they can’t be harmed, and someone would have likely noticed their absences before the end of the day and/or the worms would have been noticed first, prompting some reactions from the Institute, since the ECDC apparently Knows How To Deal with these worms. Why present them as being “trapped” when they’re basically in a bunker during an attack? … Jon had complained about the fact that Martin had confessed about being a bit claustrophobic back in MAG015, but maybe Jon himself is and doesn’t want to admit it?) And, of course, Martin breaking down in MAG040…

(MAG040) MARTIN: Right. Well, I was doing some background checks for case 0081709, when you and Sasha started screaming, so I went to ch— ARCHIVIST: Yes, yes, yes, I was there! I was with you for almost the whole time, and that tape. survived. just fine. MARTIN: … sorry. ARCHIVIST: Ah, it’s fine, I just… I only need from when you got separated – from when you got lost in the tunnels. MARTIN: No, I mean… I’m sorry I left you. ARCHIVIST: … oh, Martin. MARTIN: [Tearful] It was an accident. I thought you two were with me, I mean, the worms came at us, and they were so much faster, and then there was the gas, and the running, and I just… I, I thought you were right behind me. But when I turned round you were gone, you were both gone. It was an accident. ARCHIVIST: I know. It’s fine, Martin. Everybody’s… [sigh] Everyone’s fine. I just need you to tell me what happened next, and then, it’s finished.

… Martin’s slow voice, getting harshly cut by Jon; Martin’s weak voice and little countenance…….. His “I’m sorry I left you” which is just… Martin isn’t on the verge of crying, but his words are moist, trying not to crumble, small voice and probably small lip movements?? And then his voice shivers and shakes and my HEART SHATTERS JON, YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE MARTIN……. T______T (But Martin is so upset that even Jon relents and tries to calm him down!! Jon doesn’t get angry at him, he… feels that it wouldn’t work with Martin and/or feels bad about putting him in this state ;_;) The fact that Martin feels GUILTY over getting lost… feels like he abandoned Tim and Jon….. MARTIN T_______T * But at the same time, Martin keeps surprising me!! I somehow always end up expecting him to be meek and shy, and there are hesitations, there is uneasiness, there are apologies, he has trouble getting heard by the others, pretty often… but he’s also so much more, every time. He had planned ahead for the case the worms would invade the Archives – while Jon was just unable to give any direction about what they should do when it happened. He’s able to come back and to say things that need to be said, like when he questioned Jon’s decision (/ adamant requests/orders) to get Martin’s declaration on tape at the beginning of MAG037; even if he complied (begrudgingly), even if he stammered a “S-sorry”, even if he took Jon’s remarks in stride, he also…

(MAG037) MARTIN: […] Look, you need to get some sleep. [SILENCE] … I’ll see you later.

… pointed out A Deeper Problem regarding Jon. As advice? As a defence? Both? In any case, I would have expected Tim to point it out to Jon, so good surprise to hear Martin doing it. (I pictured Martin as… watching Jon intensely from the doorway, eyebrows slowly twisting in worry? And Jon not crossing his eyes, staring a wall, like a bored/sulky child, just waiting for him to piss off. And AOUCH. Martin ;; I’m just… Martin just got pushed and pressured, Jon was downright insulting here and there (mostly with second-degree remarks), and Martin… still left a ~door open~ with his “I’ll see you later”………… ;; Not wanting to give up on Jon, uh… Martin Cares…) And, of course, he called Jon out for the scepticism!! He had noticed!! He… wasn’t even feeling betrayed by Jon’s behaviour, he had seen through it – he was annoyed that Jon would lie like this!!

(MAG039) MARTIN: Seriously?! ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: Why do you do that? ARCHIVIST: Do what? MARTIN: Push the sceptic thing so hard!? I mean, it made sense at first, but now? After everything we’ve seen, after everything you’ve read! I hear you recording statements and y-you just dismiss them. Your tear them to pieces like they’re wasting your time, but half of the “rational” explanations you give are actually more far-fetched than just accepting it was a, a ghost or something. I mean for god’s sake John, we’re literally hiding from some kind of worm… queen… thing, how, how could you possibly still not believe!?

He’s not a weak thing, he is aware of what is happening around him and he cares, very deeply ;_; * MmMMMMmmm I wonder if Martin might have ADHD or something of the kind.

(MAG040) MARTIN: […] And there was more dust in those corridors too, and dead rats, even some discarded wine bottles. At one point there was an empty packet of mint imperials— ARCHIVIST: Martin… MARTIN: Sorry. Yeah. Um. […]

His thought seem to be drifting a lot, prone to digressions, and he has trouble keeping on one track; in this case, he was even recounting a Very Bad Experience but still chuckled when describing the food he had found in the corridors (getting into a totally different mood). I don’t know if we notice it more with him because he’s Martin, or if Jon gets more easily impatient with him than with the others (since He’s Martin; Tim could probably have gotten away with the same description), but… * It’s impressive but so far, he’s the only one of the Archive team to… be physically alright. Sasha got the cut from the worms+Michael (MAG026), and ultimately got killed (MAG039) though the others haven’t realized it yet; Tim and Jon got… many bloody holes in their bodies. Martin? Nothing. (Nothing so far?) T___T I love him so much??? He deserves to be fine and okay and valued and comforted??? Give him a raise and a blanket??? T___T

Sasha “Well, I won’t tell Martin.” James

* Definitely sounds like she was good with reports – and that Jon trusts her judgement about her discoveries.

(MAG036) ARCHIVIST: […] it seems the records from the closure of Ivy Meadows are… well, according to Sasha, calling them ‘patchy’ would be very generous. […]

* Happy/non-upsetting things first:

(MAG039) [SOUND CUTS IN MIDWAY THROUGH THE ARCHIVIST SCREAMING] MARTIN: And… there we go. Recording again. Did you get it? [PAINED CRY FROM ARCHIVIST AS SASHA EXTRACTS WORM WITH A SQUELCH] SASHA: There. And I just want to point out that I didn’t make this much of a fuss. ARCHIVIST: [Breathing heavily, aggrieved tone] I think your removal was substantially cleaner.

… it wasn’t explicit, so I do wonder if Jon was referencing Michael’s extraction from MAG026, or if Sasha had just got bitten again and they did a ~I take care of yours/you take care of mine~ exchange? (Because if Sasha has been bitten again, then yes, Jon would absolutely mention that he was cleaner at removing worms than others doing the same to him, ahaha.) Also, it was Martin’s corkscrew and yet Sasha was apparently the one to use it on Jon, so what happened. Did Martin just reveal the item and announce they could use it to remove Jon’s worm(s), and Jon went into a frenzy because the sight of Martin with almost-a-weapon was too much so Sasha had to step in to offer her help… (“Jon, you’ll die if I don’t–” “NO!! Don’t come any closer!!” “*sighs* Move aside Martin, I’ll take care of the big baby :/”) (If so, that biaaaaaaas, Jon!!! And he screamed anyway, Martin doing it or not.) * Jon was definitely… more at ease around her than with the others.

(MAG038) ARCHIVIST: […] Urgh. Urgh. [SOUND OF CHAIR SCRAPING] I see you… [THUMP... THEN SOUND OF COLLAPSING SHELVES] [NOISES OF EXCLAMATION] [DOOR OPENS] SASHA: Alright? ARCHIVIST: Ah… Yeah, a… a spider. SASHA: A spider? ARCHIVIST: Yeah. I tried to kill it… the shelf collapsed. SASHA: I swear, cheap shelves– ARCHIVIST: Yeah, I… SASHA: –are… Did you get it? ARCHIVIST: Ah… I hope so. Think so. Nasty, bulbous looking thing. SASHA: [Chuckles] Well, I won’t tell Martin. ARCHIVIST: Oh, god. I don’t think I could stand another lecture on their importance to the ecosystem.

I LOVE SASHA’S PRIORITIES… She went to check on him, complained about the shelves being cheap and then right away remembered to ask if Jon had reached his target <3 Sasha was quite clearly cracking up and!! I like that Jon doesn’t take offense when she does!! He was a mess words-wise and it was kinda cute?! He had some awkward laughter, some breathlessness, the scene was utterly ridiculous (he was being ridiculous) and he knew it <3 … and also, I guess it avoided for him to get mad at himself for destroying furniture. (Describing a spider as “Nasty, bulbous looking thing” is… not wrong per se, but also not very helpful, though.) The comparison between how he’s relaxed around Sasha and quick to complain about Martin huuuuuurts, though. But I like that it’s saying that yes, Martin has already lectured Jon about the importance of spiders in the ecosystem. (Or at least once. I have no doubt that Jon would complain about Martin harassing him about it if Martin had only mentioned it once.) * She was A Big Damn Hero, who had already put herself into danger when she had followed Michael, and who again took big risks to save Tim’s life (something neither Jon nor Martin try to do, while Sasha… just rushed out to tackle him to save him).

(MAG026) SASHA: […] As I was about to exit, though, it called after me, and said if I was interested in saving your life it would be waiting at Hanwell Cemetery. […] It called you by name. You. And Martin. And Tim. […] Part of me wanted to tell you about it  immediately, to make a statement, but even if you believed me I knew you’d try and talk me out of going to Hanwell Cemetery, and I had just about made my mind up to go. I didn’t know if what Michael had said was a threat or a warning or just a lie, but I decided I couldn’t take the chance. So I went to the cemetery.

(MAG039) MARTIN: No. No, it looks like they’re… waiting, I think. ARCHIVIST: For what? MARTIN: I don’t know. Tim, maybe? SASHA: Oh god! MARTIN: I think he was out at lunch. SASHA: Quick, someone call him. Tell him not to come back inside. […] Oh god, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t see them. [SASHA AND MARTIN BOTH START CALLING OUT TO TIM] TIM, LOOK OUT! […] SASHA: What is he doing? No, Tim, just run! Leave it alone! […] Ah, screw this.

(MAG040) TIM: […] I think I was going to try and hit her, but that’s when Sasha knocked me to the floor. It, it was a good move, actually. Prentiss didn’t seem to expect it, and we crushed a lot of worms when we fell. They were slow to react, and we were running before they really went for us. I mean, all this happened in the space of a few seconds, so I’m not exactly certain. Sasha had to basically drag me behind her.

(MAG040) ELIAS: [Sasha] told me she had set off the fire alarm to get everyone out, and that you and Martin and Tim were currently trapped by Jane Prentiss.

Jon was already pessimistic about Tim’s fate (and couldn’t use one of his legs), Martin didn’t try to rush towards Tim to help him, but Sasha did. Martin, Tim and Jon were her three idiots, uh? She was always about protecting people… even when she left the archives, she activated the fire alarm (prompting everyone to leave the building) and went straight to Elias, to explain to him what was truly happening and to find out what they could do to neutralize the worms in the hope of saving the others… * … the last contact she had with any member of the team was… Tim letting go of her hand…

(MAG040) TIM: […] Sasha had to basically drag me behind her. I saw the shelf in front of us was about to topple. There were so many worms on it so, being the hero I am, I let go of her hand and told her to get help. She made it out the main door.

Tim joking about “being the hero I am” while… the irony… of what happened… is that it contributed to the chain of event that led to her death damniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit ;; (I’m wishing a bit that Tim will never realize it but AOUCH AOUCH AOUCH???) * … and she died alone, thinking about what Jon would want her to do and concerned and worried for the others (MAG039: “Okay, Jon. I know you’ll want to know what’s been happening. If you’re still alive after this. […] I got cut off from Elias. I hope he made it to the fire system, but who knows. Maybe everyone’s dead already.”), in a… place… that she… hated… (“I’ve had to retreat into Artefact Storage. That should tell you something about how bad it is out there. God, I hate this place.”) It’s even sadder given that… I’m not even sure she was still working at the Institute by choice, since she apparently had money-related issues:

(MAG026) SASHA: […] I love the Institute’s building, of course, it’s beautiful, but from a money point of view, I really wish it wasn’t in Chelsea. Everything around here is so expensive.

(MAG039) SASHA: […] Did I ever tell you I first joined the Institute as a practical researcher? I had to analyse and investigate all the stuff in here. Take notes after sleeping in the rusted chair, write in the memory book, all that sort of thing. I transferred after three months. Would’ve quit, but couldn’t afford to back then.

I’m just. Heartbroken over her. The others haven’t even realized she’s dead, she just… disappeared in all possible ways, and that chain of events wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t saved one of her coworkers’ life… I’m sad?? I’m so sad and inconsolable??? * Specifically with the table: Sasha knew what was written in Graham Folger’s journals:

(MAG003) ARCHIVIST: […] Sasha told her we’d managed to locate what we believed to be one of Graham Folger’s journals. Doubt it would have done much good. It just says the same thing on every page: the words “Keep Watching” over and over again.

… so I’m guessing that she didn’t “watch” (the table?) enough. It reminds me a bit of Will’s mother in His Dark Materials, and the way Will hypothesises that she sometimes focused on counting things to try and escape the Spectres… * I can’t help but wonder how things would turn out, if she had stayed alive… She was already on to something re:Elias avoiding some discussions:

(MAG039) SASHA: […] I… I asked Elias about it once, but he just muttered something about funding and mission statements. He’s good at changing the subject, isn’t he?

… so I wonder whether she would have been able to actually get suspicious of him… I know that Tense/Paranoid Times are coming from Jon, and maybe Sasha would have been able to defuse the situation, or to redirect it towards the right person, uh…? * I’m heartbroken that we’ve lost one member of the team ;; And it hurts-but-doesn’t at the same time, that… technically, we never hear the four of them together? Sasha and Tim never interacted on tape except for when Sasha tackled him!! And yet!! I have feelings for these 4 idiots!! I have no problem picturing their daily life!! * … And Not!Sasha creeped me out so much, efudsjnfr. First thing: static as soon as her statement began (while the others were fine), even before she began to speak, and… her (its?) way to describe ~what she did~…

(MAG040) NOT!SASHA: I pulled a fire alarm, because the worms were following me, and I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. I went to Elias. We talked. We were going to save you, but the worms came, and I fled into the Artefact Storage room. You know I hate the Artefact Storage room, so it must have been bad. ARCHIVIST: You used to work there, didn’t you? NOT!SASHA: Yes. For three months. It was dreadful. I used to think that it was the most dangerous place in the Institute. […] I saw the worms in the main Institute. They shrivelled and died. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that scream though. I could hear Prentiss screaming even from there. […] Yes. Michael… With the bones in his hands. We still don’t know much about him, do we?

Sasha had amusement and some slyness in her words (a bit cat-like). Not!Sasha’s voice is smooth, but distant and unconcerned; she’s saying sentences without giving life to them – she had no personal feelings about (the true) Sasha’s actions. … But she did some things, on her own, and:

(MAG040) NOT!SASHA: Yes, I returned to the Archives, and all the worms were dead. You and Tim were lying there, but you weren’t moving. You just lay there, the dead worms still half inside of you. The trapdoor was open next to you, and more were inside. I went over to check, and you were alive, so I pulled you back to where there was more air, and began to remove the worms. Are you alright? ARCHIVIST: Sorry, just… difficult to hear, you know.

… so yeah, she saved Tim and Jon. So why. What is the plan for them (/for Jon), and how much will they wish that they had died out there rather than suffering whatever she has in store for them… (It’s also hitting one of Jon’s fears/anguishes, technically, though he’s not conscious of it: (MAG026) “The idea that there are things out there like that that want to help us… For some reason, that makes me more uncomfortable than the worm-infested creature stalking the Institute”).

(MAG040) NOT!SASHA: They took you away, so I waited with Elias. He was looking at me strangely, but we were both quiet. It had been a very strange day.

:w I know that the season 3 finale dealt with ~The Stranger~ so. She dropped the word.

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: […] Are you feeling alright? You seem a bit… out of it. NOT!SASHA: Yes. I am very tired. It’s hard to keep track of things sometimes.

What a hard day. Killing off A True Hero and replacing her is soooo tiresome isn’t it. (Jon… did briefly feel that something was off, but is it because Not!Sasha’s spooky powers don’t hide her intonations when it’s wrong (and anyone would notice), or is it because Jon specifically could feel it…?) (She went meek and “I will uwu” with a small voice right after, pfffft.)

ANYWAY, I’M STILL GRIEVING FOR SASHA… you deserved the world, princess é_è And we get… that thing… instead………………………………

Tim “Joe Spooky” Stoker

(MAG039) TIM: … still working? Ah, okay. Test, test. What are you doing on the floor? Huh. [Imitates Archivist voice] Statement of Joe Spooky, regarding sinister happenings in the downtown old—

I’M LOVE HIM SO MUCH… no respect for Jon (overall tone + “Joe” + “SPOOKY”), it was amazingly beautiful. Tim. TIM. (+ we had the context, we knew he was In Danger, so switching to Tim’s point of view was just Magical. Sasha&Martin banging on the door while Tim is not hearing a thing and getting distracted by the shiny object and the occasion to poke fun at Jon behind Jon’s back, while the Queen Worm was right behind him.) (Let!! Joe!! Spooky!! Give his statement!!) … I also love Tim's official recounting of these events:

(MAG040) TIM: Well, I could tell something was wrong as soon as I got back. It was quiet. I mean, it’s normally quiet, but it was dead quiet. I spotted the tape recorder lying on the ground, and went over to… er… see if it was damaged, and… as I was checking it I heard Sasha shouting.

Yeah, not proper to mention the “Joe Spooky” thing given what had happened since then, but his hesitation gave away that he remembered and that he knew Jon wouldn’t have liked it. (Sad that “Sasha” lost the tape because Jon didn’t get to hear about it, though! :( It’s probably the only reason why Tim’s still alive at this point, uh.) * I learned thanks to MAG040 that his full name is Timothy Stoker and SHHHHHHH… given that he’s so outgoing, it must have been really, reaaaaaaaaally weird for him to hear about Timothy Hodge (MAG006) flirting in a bar and having a one-night stand with a woman infected by worms, and then getting infested himself and dying in the events recounted in MAG026. Awkward. * I like how (before MAG040) Tim’s sentences are always so jumpy and less… slick, compared to Jon. He makes a lot of pauses, small filler sounds, like he’s circling around Jon and trying to convey what he wants in the best way to get Jon to answer peacefully (without fearing him either). There is always a smile in his voice, and so much warmth! (AND I KNOW THAT IT WON’T LAST, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO mE!!!) * He was apparently… delighted? Hysterically happy? Super excited? when he learned about MAG035’s case having to do with Robert Smirke, according to Jon (“You should have seen Tim’s face when I told him. Architecture is one of his specialist areas, and he has always talked of Smirke as one that fascinates him. How did he phrase it? ‘A master of subtle stability’.”) I wonder if that case was related to their banter reported by Sasha in MAG026, since we know from MAG024 that they were already working on the Harold Silvana case at that point? Jon sounds more like he's gushing about Tim’s enthusiasm here, rather than that they really fought about the subject, so I’m guessing that I was right, and that Jon just teased him a bit about Robert Smirke for the sake of it. Idiot dorks <3 * Twice now he’s been a middleman/messenger between Elias and the archives/Jon:

(MAG033) ARCHIVIST: […] Which reminds me, if you do see Elias, tell him thanks for the extra extinguishers. TIM: Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah, nothing urgent, um, it’s just Elias was asking a couple questions about the delivery.

So is there a cold between Jon&Elias at this point, is Tim the Mandatory Delivery Man for messages. When I mentioned this to Aza, I was answered with: And I’m keeping this screencap here for Posterity (and for going back to sob about it later).

(Alternatively: Elias was asking Tim to ask Jon about why the eff he’s getting his furniture delivered at work.) (At least, everybody probably guessed that it wasn’t coming from Ikea, since Jon apparently has a personal vendetta against it according to the trailer (“… piled so many files on a shelf. Don’t buy them from IKEA.”), which is? uncalled for??? Ikea shelves are powered with the strength of Norsemen as long as you don’t move them around once settled, if Jonathan (Coulton.) taught me anything.) * I forgot to mention it explicitly, I think?, but I know that He Bi (which is why I can bask in the queer mentions with him already), so:

(MAG038) ARCHIVIST: […] Tim actually managed to find a copy of Mr. Ramao’s marriage licence. It exists, is signed, dated and official… and half of it is blank. Only Mr. Ramao’s details are on the document, and if it wasn’t for the context of this statement, it would appear he was married to nobody. But he was married.

There were many sad things about it: the events of the statement and the statement itself took place in 2012, two years before same-sex marriage was legalized in the UK. Which means… that Andre&David probably got married in another country. And it’s Tim who “managed to find a copy” of that marriage licence: so I’m guessing that he fought to find it, that he really wanted to find it, that he really wanted to believe that yes, this man had not… invented his married life? T_T (Queer people solidarity T_T) More happily, though:

(MAG034) ARCHIVIST: […] Still, Tim made contact with Elena Bower in the King’s administration office, and while she couldn’t find any actual records of them in the system, she does remember them being there, and confirms that she assigned them to Dr. Elliott last year. She could be in on it, of course, but Tim seems to believe her.

1°) Did Tim sleep with her. 2°) Jon trusts Tim’s judgement!!! Same as with the Dreamer’s statement (MAG011: “I had Tim look into it, as I don’t entirely trust the others not to have written it as a practical joke and slipped it into the archives.”), it sounds like he trust Tim a great deal? * I do wonder:

(MAG039) TIM: Oh… PRENTISS: [Slowly intoning over worm sound] Do you hear their song?

Was there a special reason for Tim to be targeted like this? She hadn’t spoken to Martin, it didn’t sound like she had spoken to Harriet Lee (according to Timothy Hodge); does Tim have a… connection with That Thing? He said that he wasn’t able to understand what she was saying, though:

(MAG040) TIM: […] [Prentiss] tried to say something, but I don’t know, I couldn’t really understand her through all the…

(So we could hear her through the tape, but not Tim, who was even closer to her? Is it because… it wasn’t a regular voice but something that was distorted for human ears?) And in the same way, I feel like he dodged a bullet, re: the table ;;

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah yes, yeah, it was sent straight to the Artefact Storage, a table of some sort. Ah, looks old. Quite pretty, though. Fascinating design on it. […] Um, I’ll be honest I didn’t really notice. It was quite— ARCHIVIST: Hypnotic, yes. […]

(BUT IT GOT SASHA INSTEAD SO I’M STILL SAD…) * I loved Tim already, I’m even more in love with… high-on-CO2!Tim.

(MAG039) [SOUND OF PLASTERBOARD AND TILE BREAKING] TIM: Hi guys! […] Funny story really. I ran into the office, worms everywhere, horrible death and everything, tripped and fell in some boxes and there were like 20 cans of gas in there. MARTIN: Are, are you alright? You seem a bit… TIM: Fine! Fine! Gas… bit light-headed. Not a lot of ventilation in the tunnels. Come on!

tIM……… He has the Best Entrances, okay.

(MAG040) TIM: […] I found myself lying on top of a whole bunch of CO2 canisters, which are damn hard by the way. The worms were still coming, so I used them. I mean, I went full Gas-Rambo. After that… my memory gets a bit fuzzy. I think the paramedic called it ‘respiratory acidosis’… from breathing in all the carbon dioxide, rather than your more traditional oxygen.

He was such a treat; there was this tense, anxious atmosphere, heart-to-heart talk between Jon&Martin, who thought that it was unlikely that Tim had managed to make it out alive, death lurking around… and then bam. Tim rips apart a fake wall and barges in, totally out of his mind but still aware of the situation.

(MAG040) TIM: […] [I] ended up sprawling into this pile of boxes that I thought were case files. Instead, I found myself lying on top of a whole bunch of CO2 canisters – which are damn hard by the way. The worms were still coming, so I used them. Er, I mean, I went full Gas-Rambo.

“Full Gas-Rambo”… tIM…………. (and the stupid little detail of the fact that the canisters are hard. Tim… trying to get back to normal dandy life, in which he can complain or note random things…) * … the CO2 made him lose some inhibitions too… tIM…

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: You’re not bitten, are you? TIM: No, I don’t think so! Have a look! ARCHIVIST: Yes, alright Tim, you look fine. Put them back on, please.

I’m guessing the “them” is trousers again, so Jon is apparently Fated to see his male assistants without trousers (or even less) at some point. Whether Tim showed his arse or genitalia, Jon said he looks “fine”, though. Jon please <33 * … It’s incredible how even in the worst situations, or to recall traumatic events about himself, he still manages to crack jokes here and there. In a hollow and “I’m fucked up and everything is fucked up ahaha” tone but. Still. Jokes.

(MAG040) TIM: Sure. Just… quarantine, y’know? … Not as much fun as it sounds. ARCHIVIST: You were certainly in there longer than I was. Everything alright? TIM: Yeah. I just made some joke about itching and… suddenly they were doing a whole bunch more tests. ARCHIVIST: Well, itching is one of— TIM: I know… I know. I was trying to lighten the mood. I’m fine, though. Except for the holes. … And the pain. … And the blood. … And the nightmares.

…………….. quarantine does NOT sound fun, Tim, holy Mew. And the joke. Oh gods. His voice was so tired, super slow, you could hear that he regretted that joke so, so, so much, that it meant more discomfort and added trauma. It’s either joking or crying, for him, at this point, isn’t it.

(MAG040) TIM: It’s a bit of blur, to be honest, ‘cause when I turned around, there she was. Prentiss. Her face so full of holes it’s like, “my eyes are up here~”, but they’re not, you know? They’re just… uh.

TIM. (And that. That sentence didn’t make any sense. It was just that he couldn’t make the joke with Jane Prentiss because no eyes anymore.) * And he’s not a complete idiot either!!! He’s actually pretty smart, notices things, connects dots and make hypotheses about what he observed!!

(MAG040) TIM: […] I have a theory, actually. I think [the worms] weren’t ready to attack when you found the tunnels. It’s like something in the Institute slows them down, and makes them… hum… heh, sluggish. And that noise they make, that squirming sound? They don’t make it when they’re in the tunnels. I don’t know why. It was only when they came into the Institute – maybe the light, or the aircon, or something? – I’m not sure, but I think it made them weaker, and they’ve been down there for months, breeding, building up their numbers until there were enough to properly bury us. Except you found that hidden passage, and they had to act.

(He was getting some life back in his voice, when explaining his ideas, too!) * ONCE AGAIN, I’m sad about his description of… what was his last moment with Sasha (and Sash's last moment with anyone from the team):

(MAG040) TIM: […] I don’t know what I was going to do, I think I was gonna try and hit her, but that’s when Sasha knocked me to the floor. It– it was a good move, actually. Prentiss didn’t seem to expect it and, we crushed a lot of worms when we fell. They were slow to react, and we were running before they really went for us. […] so, being the hero I am, I let go of her hand and told her to get help. She made it out the main door.

She saved him, and he knows it. He cracked a joke about what he did (because in his mind, she’s still alive, he can joke about that! she managed to flee and to get help, and got through the ordeal unscathed!) and it’s to say that HE “LET GO OF HER HAND” AND IT WAS THE LAST CONTACT SHE HAD WITH HIM… WITH SOMEONE FROM THE TEAM…………………………….. I hope that he will… never realize it, oh gods………………. * I’M IN PAIN because I know that Things Go To Shit In Season 2 and that it’s especially bad between Jon and Tim… but I wouldn’t have been able to predict that from MAG040. Because… Jon is a bit better with him than how he usually handles people? They were together, they faced Jane Prentiss together, they got the same kind of injuries, the same trauma, they can Relate when hearing each other’s comments, and… Jon sounds aware of that, that his experience and Tim’s are similar. He doesn’t need him to recall the events that horrified him, and he has a few kind words:

(MAG040) TIM: [Tired] Do you need much? I’d really like to go home. ARCHIVIST: I sympathise. It won’t take more than a few minutes.

(Tim’s voice was so small ;; The end of an era, there is a hollowness (ha. many hollownesses.) in his voice there…)

(MAG040) TIM: […] There didn’t seem much point staying, so, I went into the tunnels. They were cold. Dry. You know that worm smell, that earthy rotten smell? ARCHIVIST: Oooh yes. TIM: Well… yeah.

(Jon’s voice was very small there, too ;;)

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: […] Could you… describe the tunnels? TIM: You were there. ARCHIVIST: Humour me.

(Jon was almost whispering.)

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: Good. Good. Go home, Tim. Get some sleep. TIM: Heh. Yeah. Sure.

(Aaand Jon went from weak voice to a bit firmer, but more like he was trying to get some composure back than being authoritative. And Tim was scoffing; he knew he… wouldn’t be able to sleep, uh…)

Anyway, I love him and he’s going to break my heart, isn’t he ;;

Elias Bouchard

* I’m laughing because:

(MAG017) ELIAS: […] By the way, have you seen Martin?

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah, nothing urgent, um, it’s just Elias was asking a couple questions about the delivery. ARCHIVIST: Delivery? What delivery? TIM: Ah well, that’s actually what he was asking, huh!

He sounds like that PNJ who subtly tries to get you back on the track to the Main Quest when you’re getting distracted (“Jon, Jon, Martin is not here, something happening with Martin, maybe you could focus on that Jon.” “Jonathan, THE TABLE and the zippo, Jonathan, pay attention to the items, JONATHAN.”) * Lalala:

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: [Weary] … Statement of, uuuuh… ELIAS: Jon… as your boss, I’m telling you to go home. ARCHIVIST: I’m fine. ELIAS: Look. You look like a mummy. You need rest. […] Jon! She’s gone. I went with the ECDC people when they took her away. I watched her body burn. Jane Prentiss is dead. You can relax. ARCHIVIST: You know why I can’t. When Martin found… ELIAS: That’s a matter for the police.

1°) With Jon temporarily out, someone had to watch/record this, uh. 2°) There have been a few rough exchanges between Martin and Jon, but Elias and Jon do argue for real and it’s a treat <3 It escalates quickly, Jon’s voice (raw, drifting, a bit low at first) gets tense and firmer in his tone, and Elias keeps having those frustrated and reprobating throat noises, and you get the feeling that both of them are indeed verbally fighting to take possession of the topic. Jon keeps starting to talk before Elias ended his own sentences! Even Jon can’t be dismissive of his own boss – but he’s still very very stubborn and… impertinent with Elias. Almost trying to boss him around.

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: … Tell me what happened to Gertrude Robinson. ELIAS: Jon, how many times do we need to go over this? ARCHIVIST: We’ve never got it on tape. ELIAS: You can barely stand. Just… why don’t we just do this tomorrow? … … Fine. On the 15th of March last year, […].

(Jon cutting the end of Elias’s sentences! And you could hear Jon staring hard and hard and hard as sole answer. Elias gave in and complied, but clearly annoyed, with a dry automatic diction <3) * I have Many Things To Scream About When It Comes To That One Sentence:

(MAG039) SASHA: […] I think John’s got a lighter somewhere. ELIAS: He’s not smoking again, is he?

1°) There is a fire alarm going off, Sasha just explained they're being invaded by worms and attacked by an Abomination: is the fact that Jon may or may not be smoking (again) really a priority, Elias. 2°) ……………. still even when pretending to not know that Elias is Elias……. it sounds so terribly paternalistic and not the kind of comment a boss should allow himself to say about a subordinate……… Whether Jon might be smoking or not is not your business…………… 3°) … does Jon even know that Elias knows that he used to smoke. (For how long has Elias set his eyes on Jon, exactly? Was it before Gertrude’s death?) * I… don’t know how he operates, what he can and cannot do, if he has Restrictions or is totally free to do whatever. Obviously, however, given that I know he’s not… exactly benevolent (let’s say.) and is hiding who/what he is, a big question I have regarding him is: is he bound (by supernatural restrictions or by personal ethics) to tell the truth, or can he lie? (As in: lying for real; not only omitting or changing the subject, which he seems to do quite a lot – as even Sasha had noticed.) Wondering this gives another dimension to some of his sentences, assuming that no, he can’t explicitly lie (but can bend the truth to say a non-lie while avoiding to reveal information):

(MAG039) ELIAS: To be honest I always thought they were just… overreacting. Other staff have seen them around, but no-one’s reported any aggressive behaviour or anything like that. You know how those two are… Jon puts on a good show, but sometimes I swear he’s worse than Martin.

(MAG040) ELIAS: I… know I have often seemed dismissive of your concerns before […]. But… honestly, I didn’t fully appreciate what you’d been talking about until I turned that corner and we saw what I can only describe as a… a tidal wave of filth rushing towards us.

=> Well, Jon will have worse anyway, so no need to take this one too seriously, right? It was ONLY Jane Prentiss. Come on. Not a big deal, right.

(MAG040) Martin finding her body in the tunnels is as much a mystery to me as it is to you.

=> Of all fucking people working at the Institute or investigating Gertrude’s suspicious disappearance, Elias wasn’t expecting that MARTIN would find her body. (THAT’S SO MEAN FOR MARTIN WHEN YOU HEAR IT THIS WAY…) His description of Gertrude’s disappearance is, all in all, pretty neutral and is readable as a not-lie, but there are two details that are noteworthy: 1°) “so I assumed she was dead and left the investigation to the police”: you can’t assume something you know, especially since there would have been ways to word it in a non-personal phrasing (~It was safe to assume~, ~Anybody could have assumed~ etc.)… but then, I don’t know if she was dead-dead when he left her/the body, nor if he was the one to drag the body somewhere else (since the crime scene and the place the body was discovered were different). 2°) … he said that Gertrude’s disappearance was discovered and reported “On the 15th of March last year”: however, according to MAG025, it was the 15th of May. March 15th was, however, the day following ~Antonio Blake~’s written statement about his dreams regarding Gertrude’s death (MAG011). So was it a mix-up from the writers, was it an inconsequential mix-up from Elias, or was that… a mistake made on purpose, because there had been blood on her desk around that time but it was related to another story, not her actual murder? * I’m really amused by the fact that… I know due to spoilers that I have to be careful of him, that’s he’s bad, baaaaad, bad news. But every time he speaks, I have this ringing of “oh, it’s just boring/neutral/a bit useless Elias” flaring in my mind =D (Also, as if his voice actor was just filling in, but not really used to acting. I already know it’s not the case, got some audible proof even… and yet. I still have the impulse of thinking “Oh, it’s just Elias” when hearing him in my current episodes, which baffles me every time. You sneaky falsely boring middle-aged man, you. (Kudos to his VA!)) (Though yeah, I got to actually hear him a bit more thanks to MAG040, and his voice was more noticeable then (unrelated to the fact that, by default, his scenes are funnier when he’s arguing with Jon). Very clean and… I think the word I would use to describe it is “neat”? His elocution is very clear, not exactly cutting, but there is something sharp there.) * But then, it sounds like other characters share the feeling and it’s… how Elias is identified (/gets identified) by others. Sasha wasn’t exactly too impressed with him (clearly feeling that she had to insist to make him do something actually useful to potentially help Jon, Tim and Martin), and Jon himself doesn’t seem to consider Elias useful either:

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: […] I still don’t know what happened to Gertrude. Officially she’s still missing, but Elias is no help […].

* Again, about what he said about Jon (and Martin) and the worms:

(MAG039) ELIAS: So… these are the worms he and Martin have been going on about? SASHA: The ones terrorising us for months? Yeah! ELIAS: To be honest I always thought they were just… overreacting. Other staff have seen them around, but no-one’s reported any aggressive behaviour or anything like that. You know how those two are… Jon puts on a good show, but sometimes I swear he’s worse than Martin.

I want to say that Elias is also so mean to Jon, but then, that would make me be mean to Martin. So, usually, in the group of four, Tim and Sasha are (perceived as) the ones less likely to ~overreact~? (That’s especially funny considering how, at that exact time, Tim is currently getting High On CO2 and a total mess. And how Martin, having been panicking for months over the concept of an incoming worms invasion, pre-emptively found a solution that would remove them and thought of a place to take shelter in. But Sasha has been Great overall, granted, and Jon… didn’t do a lot except for shouting at Martin and complaining about Sasha’s worm-removal.) * … Though, I’m terrified over how he casually got LIFE OR DEATH power over the people in the Archives:

(MAG039) ELIAS: Not quite what I meant. On Jon’s insistence I recently changed the Archive’s fire suppression system to use carbon dioxide. Should have done it years ago, really— […] SASHA: Wait. Wait. Will it hurt Martin or Jon? ELIAS: Almost certainly. Er, I’m not a doctor, but I know dumping a lot of CO2 on people isn’t generally considered a good idea.

(Jon, what have you done.) Even when ignoring spoilers (he killed Gertrude), THAT’S SO VERY REASSURING… Fitting with what Jon said about how “These old files are far better protected than we ever were.” (MAG039) but I’m also staring so hard about how… ahahaha… there would be… a convenient way… to kill off all the staff if they were a bit troublesome and too uncooperative or something………… that would be less bloody and “cleaner” than with Gertrude, wouldn’t it……….. (was it really “on Jon’s insistence”. Wouldn’t be out of character for Jon given that he had asked for more fire extinguishers, and carbon dioxide means less harm to the documents, but at the same time, those are not… ideal conditions if you want to work without fearing for your life.) * Maybe Not That Immune To Worms:

(MAG040) ELIAS: Luckily it seemed the things were mainly concentrated in that one mass, leaving the other corridors largely vacant. It took me ten minutes, maybe fifteen, but I made it with only one close call.

Oh no, Alexa, this could have been so sad, play “Despacito”. * I still don’t know why Jon was chosen specifically, and I do wonder if Elias was planning to keep him at all costs as the new head archivist, or if he… allowed himself to test the waters a bit, to check if Jon would be up to the task, keeping the possibility of discarding him if he wasn’t a good enough fit. I mean, I know that he killed Gertrude! And even with Jon, he obviously played with fire (ha.) by releasing the carbon dioxide at the last moment. His official stance to Sasha was that he hoped that Jon would survive given that:

(MAG039) Er, I’m not a doctor, but I know dumping a lot of CO2 on people isn’t generally considered a good idea. I really don’t want to have to find another Archivist so quickly after Gertrude, but from what you say… it might be a mercy.

1°) ……………… I do love how his public persona is just… casually so ruthless and un-empathetic. Whining about having to find another archivist when he’s mentioning that oops, Jon (and Tim and Martin) could die while the system is saving the Institute. Everyone in this institute has their priorities wrong. (And yes, it’s even more hysterical when knowing that he killed the previous one. Complaining about having to find another Archivist after you killed the last one? YOU DON’T SAY.) Same thing in the following episode when he recalls ~what happened about Gertrude’s bloody disappearance~, he summarizes his stance with:

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] so I assumed she was dead and left the investigation to the police, for all the good it did me. And I appointed another archivist.

Laconic tone for the end of the story (but with a slightly higher pitch: it wasn’t “annoyed” like at the beginning), and Jon was… breathing hard throughout that last sentence. Aouch. Also could you please try to sound sad about one of your employees’ mysterious death, Elias. 2°) I know (thanks spoilers) that Elias has selective omniscience and can see what is happening (if he focuses on it). So he knew how much danger Jon and the others were in, he probably could see the moment Tim and Jon went face to… faces with Jane Prentiss, and he acted at the last minute. Was Elias planning to move a finger only if he had to and there was no other way for Jon to make it out alive? Or did he make the decision to help-if-necessary during the crisis, because Jon had… somehow lived up to his expectations and proved himself as the new Archivist? In the latter case… would it be related to the fact that Jon tried to record at all cost what was happening (endangering himself to retrieve his tape recorder (only to lose it again a few seconds later) and even getting bitten in the process, asking Martin to describe what he was seeing for the second tape recorder), thus ~validating~ Elias’s choice? (In all cases: thaaaaaaaaat’s absolutely creepy, I love it. Terrible.) * Look, yes, he probably timed his actually-doing-something-for-once thingy, but the way he described it:

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] I composed myself, and decided on a more roundabout route to the boiler room. Luckily it seemed the things were mainly concentrated in that one mass, leaving the other corridors largely vacant. It took me ten minutes, maybe fifteen, but I made it […].

……… I doubt that the building is big enough to require ten to fifteen minutes to reach a place, even when a taking a detour. That is, when you’re rushing. Did he have the time to have a cigarette, one or two coffees, and even to wait for the coffee to cool down to an acceptable temperature, before lifting a finger. * Re: Elias’s public persona being very casually ruthless: the difference between Jon living the horror and Elias ~describing the horror~:

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] I turned on the fire suppression system. And… that’s when I heard the scream. I… can’t really describe it but… well, I’m sure I don’t need to, you were a lot closer to it than I was. ARCHIVIST: It’s the last thing I remember before blacking out. Tens of thousands of… things without mouths screaming as one. ELIAS: … Yes. Horrible sound. Anyway, […].

(With Jon’s voice shivering and clearly Not Fine, while Elias is just deadpan and firm and that “Anyway,” kills me.)

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] I headed down to the Archives to see what had happened. Sasha was already there, but you and Tim were in a bad shape. It looked like a few dozen worms had been going into each of you when the carbon dioxide killed them. Was like bloody Swiss che— ARCHIVIST: YES… thank you, I remember everything from when the ambulance arrived. Quarantine, bandaging, etcetera.

hE’S ALSO SO FUCKING SAVAGE??? ELIAS, OH MY GODS………… Jon is traumatized and Elias just casually describe Tim and him as looking like gruyère (“bloody Swiss cheese”), oh mY GODS… (And Jon was… breathing hard, and he stopped him sharply, so almost getting a panic attack over the recounting of the events, uh. Does Elias feed on Jon’s discomfort and suffering? Because if he wanted to very casually and ~innocently~ make someone ill at ease, yeah, it was a very efficient way.) * Anyway:

(MAG037) MARTIN: […] Look, Jon, I do think we should destroy the table, though. I mean, if it’s the one from Amy Patel’s statement. Just in case. ARCHIVIST: Elias told me the same thing. Luckily he phrased it as advice rather than an instruction, so for now I’m more inclined to keep studying it.

1°) Spoilers aside: I’m laughing that… it’s not like Elias is in charge of the Institute, isn’t it. It’s not like he’s supposed to have a say in how they should handle Suspicious Items that are received in the Institute and that will be kept inside of its Artefact Storage, instead of giving very vague “oh yeah, maybe we should destroy it… idk… do whatever…”, uh. Same thing when he reported what he was doing during the worms invasion, it was hilarious:

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] This afternoon, just after lunch, I was going over some budgets in my office, as I normally do on a Tuesday […]. the fire alarm started going off. It was annoying, but not too worrying at first. I, I packed my work away, and began to calmly head towards the evacuation point, when… Sasha came barrelling through the door […].

If it had been a planned training for emergency, he would have known about if beforehand, so his public persona knew it was either someone accidentally setting the alarm or a genuine case, but his official stance about it is “Oh no, there was annoying noise disturbing my Tuesday Budget Ritual, and I even had to evacuate :(”. Same thing with his stance about Martin’s stay:

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] in fact I was getting ready to raise the issue of Martin’s continuing to live in the Institute’s basement, especially as I believe he’s been stealing fire extinguishers.

“Yeah, sure, one of my employees has been living in my building for four months, that’s fair, but hoarding fire extinguishers? Too unprofessional.” And in both cases, Jon is not surprised by what Elias is saying, so it’s just… regular Elias comments. THIS IS YOUR FUCKING INSTITUTE, ELIAS…………………….. you could also get a bit more upset about the damages the worms caused – it’s going to cost a lot! (In case you haven’t noticed, I’m really cackling at the Boring Useless Bureaucrat persona =D) 2°) I have no doubt that this fucker knew what kind of Bad News the table meant, so comparatively, what he officially said about it is…  so… noncommittal, pfFFFTTTT. Keeping the table turns out to be a mistake? Elias had advised you to trash it!! Destroying the table turns out to be a mistake? Well, Elias hadn’t instructed you to trash it, he only gave you some advice that you were free to disregard!! Your fault in all cases, Elias Did Nothing Wrong because he did nothing at all, You Can’t Complain, Jon, No, Really, You Can’t. bUT FUCK HIM ANYWAY!!

(MAG040) NOT!SASHA: […] I waited with Elias. He was looking at me strangely, but we were both quiet. It had been a very strange day.

Fuck yooooooooou, you know!!! :| … I’m not sure, however, whether he knew what would happen to Sasha: if it was a pure coincidence (and he rolled with it), if he was aware that it was likely to happen to her, or if he did get ~accidentally separated~ from her at that moment in a deliberate and conscious effort to get her to hide in the Artefact Storage room (where the table was stored, where Sasha would be alone, and where it was very likely that she would get… murdered and replaced). So I can’t scream at him for being a tiny bit responsible (yet), but I’m eyeing him in the meantime. * But apparently, sometimes, when the stars are aligned, Elias can apparently behave like someone who is *gasps!!* helpful:

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] I called the fire department, ambulance and a contact at the ECDC who had previously been involved in the Prentiss investigation.

… Yeah, needed special staff to get rid of the (worm) corpses. (Aaaand he has a ~repertoire~ of people to contact, apparently?)

The Magnus Institute / The Archives

We got a bit more information about how things apparently work around here!

* According to season 1’s Q&A

(S1Q&A) Alex: “How large is the Magnus Institute, as an organization?” Jonny: There are between 80 and a 100 staff in total. Very few of them are focused on the Archives; I think probably the core staff is maybe 40.

Does it include the cryptids. (That’s not gigantic but leaves some space for not knowing everyone / mostly knowing people in your own services, indeed!) * … The Institute is not here to help you, even if you’re desperate. It wants your stories, but it won’t help you.

(MAG037, Jason North) I’ve asked and asked and your people only ever tell me to write my statement. Put it down on paper for investigation. Is that going to help? No. Of course it isn’t. Even if you had the power to do something, would you? Or would you rather watch my son burn so you can take notes. […] I won’t let my son burn, even if you cowards don’t have the guts to step up and do something. […] But yes, I know, you want the whole goddamn story, don’t you? So you can look over it in ten years and go “Hmm, interesting” long after Ethan and me are dead.

* So, yay! Characters had understood that the statements not recording on computer meant they were Spooky. I was wondering, since the tape recorders do have the advantage of singling them out of the bunch of others, if they were treated differently – apparently, it wasn’t the case at first but Jon is focusing more on them nowadays (MAG039: “At this stage, if it records to my laptop I almost don’t bother.”) Jon also basically said that, so far, we might have heard all the recordings on tape (“I mean. I still think most of the statements down here aren’t real. Of the hundreds I’ve recorded, we’ve had maybe… thirty, forty that are… that go on tape.”): 38 statements so far, minus Martin’s and Sasha’s, and three other live statements. So 33 that came from papers, already in the Archives. It also seems that Jon is also able to… feel that they’re different even before recording them, maybe? (“The ones that have weird wrinkles, or that just seem to have something solid to them.”) Or are those literal “weird wrinkles” in the paper, which would be an indication that some people (Gertrude?), before the current team, used to read those but disregard the others? * Working in the Archives is not a Safe Job:

(MAG026) SASHA: I should really quit, you know. We– we all should. I don’t think this a normal job. I– I don’t think this is a safe job. ARCHIVIST: You’re probably right. Do you want to quit? SASHA: No. I’m just– I’m just too damned curious, I suppose. You? ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever’s going on, I… need to know. Get some rest.

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: […] Why are you here Martin? […] Why haven’t you quit? […] Why are you still here? MARTIN: [Considering] Don’t really know. I just am. It didn’t feel right to just leave. I’ve typed up a few resignation letters, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hand them in. I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t… move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck.

(MAG039) SASHA: […] I’ve had to retreat into Artefact Storage. That should tell you something about how bad it is out there. God, I hate this place. … Did I ever tell you I first joined the Institute as a practical researcher? […] I transferred after three months. Would’ve quit, but couldn’t afford to back then.

I would scream at all of you to quit but then Sasha is already dead and I knew that curiosity (/not ~keeping watching~ enough?) would kill the cat TT____TT (Also, Martin, sweetie, is your last sentence supposed to reassure us re: the reasons why you don’t feel like quitting? Because it… was a bit terrifying, that whole extended metaphor about an insect stuck in a web. Who/What/Where is the spider. If he had said that he wanted to stay because he had grown fond of the others and didn’t want to feel like he was leaving them behind, I would have dug that, considering how he’s been a sweetie pie so far, but here… it sounded more like a consequence of him staying. He never explained why he didn’t (want to?) quit.) * It sounds like the Institute itself had an effect on the worms? Tim said that the ones in the tunnels were “faster for some reason. And quieter.” (MAG039) than the ones in the Archives, and Jon confirmed it right after (“Tim was right about there being fewer worms down here, but they are much faster. More aggressive.”) When Tim went over the events in MAG040, it’s also something that had struck him (“[In the tunnels,] I did see some more worms, though. They were fast. I only saw a couple, but it was still proper jumpscare territory.”) Back when they had first encountered them in the wild, Martin and Sasha had described the worms as quite fast (MAG022: “the worms began to writhe out of every hole and cavity, falling to the floor in a cascading… wave and starting to crawl towards me with… with alarming speed. […] Just as I was bringing up the camera app, one of the worm-things reached at me and leapt at my face. That thing jumped literally 6 feet through the air at my face.”; MAG026: “The worms also seemed to have taken notice and began to move towards me at an alarming speed.”), so it seems that their behaviour inside of the Institute was the anomaly. Something (the building itself?) was able to slow them down? Tim himself was hypothesizing this in MAG040. Anyway, worms were trying to populate other levels, according to Sasha (MAG039: “The worms are on the upper floor. Not as many as down in the Archive, but enough.”) * I was wondering at which level are the Archives located? I had assumed ground floor or basement floor, and that sounds correct! Elias’s office is apparently on an upper level (not surprised) (MAG040, Elias: “We hurried down, and it was clear everyone else had already evacuated. We… had reached the ground floor when… well…”). Plus, the dent on the wall caused by the collapsing shelf caused by Jon thwacking it caused by an innocent spider visiting the Archives, revealed that this one was not an “exterior wall” (as Sasha had assumed until MAG038) but some sort of plasterboard panel separating the Archives from… hidden tunnels. So the Archives are on the lowest (official) level in the Institute. (Which sounds usual and all but is also pretty dangerous for papers in case of flooding.) And Elias did describe the place where the statements were recorded in MAG040 as “basement filled with a thousand rotting worm carcasses” (he had offered to take the statements in his office instead) and also commented about “the issue of Martin’s continuing to live in the Institute’s basement”. So yep. The Institute hides the nerds in the basement. * I’m guessing that the tunnels that the Archive Team discovered are… sadly related to the ones created by Robert Smirke mentioned in MAG035 (Old Passages, the Harold Silvana case)…? As summarized by Jon, “These tunnels are a maze, and we don’t know where we are.” (MAG039). Martin also said about them:

(MAG040) MARTIN: […] It’s a, it’s a maze down there, Jon. I don’t know how far the passages go, maybe miles. I think it must be the old Millbank Prison, like Tim was saying before. I even found some stairs at one point, but I really didn’t want to go down them.

So the Institute is the tree and… it has roots. Deep, deeeeep roots. * There are least two mysteries lying underneath the Institute (unless it was the same room and Tim didn’t notice Gertrude’s corpse): the room that Tim saw (where worms behaved strangely, trying to make a doorway?), and the room that Martin saw.

(MAG040) TIM: No. I did see… uh, I mean, maybe… ARCHIVIST: What? TIM: No, it’s just… I think I was still gassed, and it was dark, but… I found a room. ARCHIVIST: Go on. TIM: I didn’t stay long, ‘cause it had a lot of worms in, and they weren’t acting like the others. They were sort of… wrapping around each other, like they were trying to form a… thing, like a structure or something. A ring. I was probably still out of my skull, and half-hallucinated the whole thing, but it looked like they were trying to make a doorway. ARCHIVIST: A doorway? Is it still there? TIM: No. I pumped two full extinguishers into that room. Nothing was getting out.

(Tim was almost chuckling at the end. Proud of himself for this, at the very least, uh.)

(MAG040) MARTIN: […] When I finally found a door, I thought it might actually get out, but instead… It was a small room. Square. There was dust on everything. Cardboard boxes were piled around. They were full of old cassette tapes. […] She was sat in a wooden chair in the middle of the room. No worms. No cobwebs. Just… an old corpse. Gertrude Robinson. She was slumped forward, but I could see her mouth hanging open.

The Tape Recorder(s)

* Season 1’s Q&A had a question about which sounds were canonical in the tapes (and mostly the status of music):

(S1Q&A) Alex: From sort of a directorial standpoint, I’ve always had it that the music is not part of the actual recordings…? Jonny: Yes. Alex: However, the tapes detect the distortions, the sound effects of things actually happening, the voices of the people […]. Jonny: Everything that you hear is on the actual tape within the world of the Magnus Archives, except the music.

Niiiiice /o/ … As a result, as mentioned above, I wonder if the tapes have the power to somewhat “translate” some sounds/voices?

(MAG039) TIM: Oh… PRENTISS: [Slowly intoning over worm sound] Do you hear their song?

(MAG040) TIM: […] [Prentiss] tried to say something, but I don’t know, I couldn’t really understand her through all the…

We listeners could hear her perfectly, but apparently, Tim couldn’t (while he was positioned close to the tape recorder, probably between it and Jane Prentiss). Is that it, do they have the power to translate/fix/catch the distortions? I’m also wondering what is the relation between the statements and the tape recorders: are there parts of the statements that described inhuman sounds, and that Jon read as they were written (and the tape recorders made them audible)?

* Jon used to dislike that tape recorder – but that’s not the case anymore.

(MAG033) ARCHIVIST: No. I don’t have time. I still have a mountain of haphazard statements to get through, not to mention that I need to keep this wretched tape recorder on hand – just in case I encounter one of the files too stubborn to work on anything else, and when I do, I have to actually– TIM (BACKGROUND): Oh, woah– ARCHIVIST: –read the damn thing, which is… TIM (BACKGROUND): –woah… woah!

(MAG039) SASHA: Why record it? ARCHIVIST: What? SASHA: Before, in the office. It, it was stupid going for the tape recorder like that, and then when you dropped it out there— ARCHIVIST: I said I was sorry. If I’d known Martin had another one stashed in here, I never would have… SASHA: No, it’s, it’s fine, just… I just don’t understand. I thought you hated the damn thing. You’re always going on about it. ARCHIVIST: I do! I did. I just… […]

“I did”, yIPS. But now, Jon is… I don’t think that saying “he’s grown fond of it” would be the right thing; it’s mostly that he polarized a lot of his actions around it? Keeping it running, keeping things recorded, is almost becoming his priority?

(MAG039) SASHA: What are you doing?! ARCHIVIST: Almost… SASHA: Leave it, it’s not— ARCHIVIST: I got it!

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: What, Sasha, NO! [DOOR OPENS] SASHA: Tim, look out! ARCHIVIST: Watch out for the tape—

(Aouch, for this last one ;;;; There were… other things to shout about…) It was to the point that when unable to stand up, he asked/ordered Martin to be His Eyes… and not even for him:

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Right. There we go. Martin, what do you see? MARTIN: Hm? What? ARCHIVIST: I can’t really stand up yet. I need you to describe what’s going on. For the record.

(MAG039) ELIAS: You [Sasha] did bring a tape recorder. I just thought Jon would appreciate as many supplementary recordings as possible. For the record.

(GUHUTGVHIBGH Elias’s “For the record” is him deliberately quoting Jon, isn’t it. They didn’t say it at the same time, since we couldn’t hear the Fire Alarm system yet when Martin and Jon were talking, while it was already on when Sasha and Elias were talking… So Elias’s was definitely after Jon’s and the same phrasing sure doesn’t sound like a coincidence and that’s terrible of him.) (You could also go “Awww cute! Elias is attentive to Jon's concerns!” I guess but.)

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Martin, could you pass me the tape recorder? MARTIN: Sure. I think it’s running out, though. ARCHIVIST: Fine. I suppose I can turn it back on when we’re being eaten alive.

(MAG039) SASHA: [SPEECH IS ECHOED FROM THE ROOM AS SHE WALKS] [With some despondency in tone] Okay, Jon. I know you’ll want to know what’s been happening. If you’re still alive after this.

(I love Jon’s sarcasm better when it’s turned towards himself in self-depreciative/grim expectations =D) And of course, Jon was concerned that a valuable tape was lost:

(MAG040) ELIAS: […] I suggested [Sasha] turn the tape recorder on, largely so this sort of debrief wouldn’t be necessary. Did you not get the tape? ARCHIVIST: No. There was… some sort of problem. Sasha told me the tape was lost. ELIAS: Hm. […]

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: Right… Right. What about the tape? You had the tape recorder, the one I’d just recorded Mr. Ramao’s statement on. But when you gave it back, it was empty. NOT!SASHA: Yes, I dropped it a few times. The eject button must have been hit. I didn’t notice until you pointed it out. It’s probably around somewhere. Is it that important? ARCHIVIST: It’s important to me.

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: […] Some of my tapes are missing. Maybe it was Prentiss, but she seemed more interested in the written files, and the other tapes seem fine. There’s no sign of debris, or anything that would indicate they’ve been destroyed, but, in addition to the tape Sasha lost earlier, the tapes for cases 0051701 and 0160204 are gone. I don’t know why these two specifically, but I cannot trust anyone.

……………. I do understand (it’s tangible proof) but still… he’s not feeling comfortable with the idea of losing the tapes in particular… AND I ALREADY UNDERSTOOD WHY THESE TAPES IN PARTICULAR DISAPPEARED… The calliope case and Sasha’s encounter with Michael both had the original Sasha’s voice on them (+ obviously, the one in which she was killed and replaced). Strangely, though: Sasha also spoke on Martin’s tape recorder (when they were in the safe room) and Jon mentions that that one “survived just fine” – despite the fact that not!Sasha would have had plenty of time to dispose of it when she joined Tim’s and Jon’s bodies after Prentiss’s death. So did she do something to that last tape (but Jon hadn’t noticed yet at this point), or… is Jon, anyway, unable to listen to it again, since it hits too close to home? It contains his screams, his fears, his confessions about his stance about the supernatural and, of course, his encounter with Prentiss, and Jon is clearly traumatized by that last one. * I also wonder if Jon won’t prevent some tapes from circulating: the one from Martin’s tape recorder (MAG039), for the reasons mentioned just above, and the one from MAG040, since… Jon ended that one with his thoughts about Gertrude’s murder, and the fact that he “cannot trust anyone.” We learned thanks to Tim (MAG033) that students and researchers sometimes listen to the tapes, and so do the assistants, since they pointed out some of Jon’s mistakes, but maybe Jon will prevent that for new ones? It wouldn’t sound like a good idea to allow people to hear about it when one of them could be Gertrude’s killer. * And now, Martin has been shown using another tape recorder, too:

(MAG039) TIM: Why do you have a second tape recorder, Martin? MARTIN: Oh, um… well, I’ve been using it to record myself. I write poetry and I think the tapes have a sort of… low-fi charm.

Did he buy/bring it in himself, or did he find this one in the Institute? Jon had mentioned in the trailer that he had found the tape recorder he is using in the building (“I managed to unearth this old tape recorder from storage, and these cassettes, archaic as they may be, are still better than nothing.”), so there could have been a few still in shape. … And Martin mentioned that Gertrude’s body was surrounded by tapes (MAG040: “Cardboard boxes were piled around. They were full of old cassette tapes. […] She was sat in a wooden chair in the middle of the room.”), so WOOOOOOPS, looks. Like Gertrude was using them, too, and this is probably why there are so many cassette tapes in the Institute. But how did they proceed, before tape recorders were a thing? Did they have another way to separate bullshit statements from “real” statements?

Overall notes on episodes’ contents

* MAG034: Live-statement of Dr. Lionel Elliott about the peculiar seven students following his “Introduction to Human Anatomy and Physiology” class at London’s King’s College during the first semester of 2016: Erika Mustermann, Jan Novak, Piotr and Pavel Petrov, John Doe, Fulan al-Fulani and Juan Pérez. He isn’t able to remember anything about them since they were almost aggressively unnoticeable (“They all just looked so… normal. Unremarkable.”) They were curious about basic anatomy knowledge and also apparently learned to breathe, to get accurate bones and heartbeats through the course. Dr. Elliott avoided them as much as he could and still ended up pretty messed up by practical lessons, one involving skeletons and the other hearts dissection. At some point, he went to visit their house (they were all living together.) and heard “a muffled scream of pain came from somewhere deep inside the house. It sounded ragged, like whoever was crying out had been gagged.” He Didn’t Teach Them About The Liver and fled. At the end of semester, he found an apple and a handwritten note (“Thank you for teaching us the insides”); cutting the apple in half, he discovered “human teeth arranged in a smile”. According to Jon’s follow-up, those are “healthy adult teeth, and most of them appeared to come from different people”; he also mentions that the previous year, Dr. Rashid Sadana (teaching the “Anatomy, Physiology and Pathology for Complementary Therapies” course at St Mary’s University) ~committed suicide~ and left a note saying “NOT TO BE USED FOR TEACHING”.

………….. They Wanted To Learn. They were kinda cute in their own way. Terrifying, but also really eager to learn. They looked so out of things and totally following their own interests that it diluted a bit of the horror, it was almost comedic sometimes? Such as when Dr. Elliott when to their home and heard the screaming, it was almost… cartoon-ish. Horrible and poor guy who was inside, sure, but also so incongruous that it felt almost funny. (I didn’t catch on to Dr Elliott’s… quirky voice? because hollow laughers of ahaha-I’m-so-eff’d-up; I thought he was genuinely trying to alleviate the mood at first, being indulgent about the technology, throwing in little morbid references, but nop, it became more and more explicit that he was totally losing it. Oops.) I assumed that Dr. Rashid Sadana had been killed off by the Things because he was deemed a bad teacher (and that they had left the note to convey that no!! this one is bad!! and has a bad body!! give us a better teacher!!) but a friend mentioned that it could be that he got the class the previous year, committed suicide for real, and put the note to request that his corpse not be used in anatomy classes. Oopsies in both cases. (But I would assumed that he would have asked to get cremated or something, to escape the faint probability of being used as teaching material?)

Small things overall: the worms are getting more and more present, WOOPSIE (Dr. Elliott commented on the infestation). I liked Dr Elliott’s programme of his statement, which… set the mood (“Where do want me to start? The bones? The blood? The… uh… the fruit?”) and made you wonder how those things could tie together; his honesty about his, erh, lack of concern for them as a teacher (“I’m a bit ashamed to admit it, but I came to terms with the fact that I didn’t care if they passed any exams, and that actually made the whole affair more manageable. I just did my best to stop caring.”, “And I’d long since decided with this class, that if I couldn’t see or hear it, I didn’t care.”) but also booooo-ooooo, bad teacher! When Jon mentioned that “Juan Pérez’ is the generic name of choice in most Spanish speaking countries” Iiiiiii didn’t know this one (more used to “fulano”)? So idk if it’s my own lack of culture but it is listed on the English wiki, so I’m eyeing Jon hard since his linguistic researches (officially “a quick Internet search”) apparently consisted in consulting… Wikipedia of all things <3 That’s so shameful for a researcher. It was also interesting to have him and Jon interacting because 1°) An episode beginning with Jon going “Apologies for […]” to someone??? In my TMA episode??? It’s more likely than you think!!, 2°) The fact that Jon’s Ritualistic Procedures were not exactly understood by Dr Elliott and that he had to… orientate him a bit more (“[…] Statement begins.” “*silence* Now?” “Yes. Just start from the beginning.” “Right. […]”), it just made Jon’s little quirks sound so silly, 3°) As mentioned earlier, I’m still laughing at someone throwing a “Do I look like an idiot?!” at Jon because. Yeah, likely that for Jon, y’all idiots. But it was nice to see someone implying Jon’s question was super duper dumb =D

* MAG035: Harold Silvana about the underground tunnels he discovered during renovations taking place at the Reform Club located at 100 Pall Mall. During a night shift, together with Rachael Turley and Alfred Bartlett, they were joined by Gerard Keay, who was searching for (and smelling?) “Leitner’s pages” and destroyed a bit of the wall with a hammer (“I heard a scream, high-pitched, but it definitely didn’t come from any of us.”) that revealed a corridor. They went in, Alf(red) felt as though the corridors were getting “narrower” (but measuring it proved that it wasn’t the case). They reached a crossroads, with thirteen doorways (“There was one that, for all the world, it felt like I was going to fall into it. Another was so dark that our torches didn’t seem to reach more than a few feet inside.”) plus their own, and a datestone in the middle signed with Robert Smirke’s name. Gerard began running down one, Alf followed him; Rachel went back to get help, Harold followed Alf. He stumbled, at some point; Gerard ran back out holding a book, and Silvana kept seeing small bones, and discovered Alf’s dead body in a small room at the end of the corridor. He had trouble getting back out (had trouble remembering) but eventually managed. The Police was there, retrieved Alf’s body. Harold’s team had to reconstruct the wall and swear they wouldn’t dig deeper (ha.); Harold gave this statement to tell someone the truth about his coworker’s death.

So that was the Harold Silvana case mentioned by Sasha back in MAG034! My heart had screamed “Tim! Tim!” as soon as the statement began to mention architecture, and even more when they discovered the tunnels (and then Robert Smirke was even mentioned!). I was so glad to have confirmation that Tim worked on this one <3 There was a sort of… tender amusement? in Jon’s voice when he rambled about Tim’s reactions (“You should have seen Tim’s face when I told him.”). It was almost half of the post-statement and totally gratuitous, that was so cute from Jon! However, there was something a bit weird about Sasha’s research around Harold Silvana’s statement:

(MAG024) ARCHIVIST […]: I thought you were trying to get hold of those police reports for the Harold Silvana case? SASHA: Tried and succeeded. They were actually quite helpful.

(MAG035) Over the last three months Sasha has attempted to contact Mr. Silvana, Rachel Turley, the management of the Reform Club and any of the police officers involved. All of them flatly deny any of this ever took place.

… what she had said back then and what Jon concluded here didn’t really match, so…? (Or is it again a matter of Jon… withholding information at the time of the recording: the fact that the police is trying to cover it up could be perceived as a valuable information, although a very concerning one ^^’) I really liked this statement-giver’s voice; the way he gave off the feeling of being pretty objective about his work and what he’s doing (having to use fancy nouns (craftsman, artisan) to qualify what he does but being aware that he’s mostly a “builder”) while being pretty confident at the same time (“So yes, my services are expensive, but me and my team are worth every penny. And the sort of people I deal with, or should I say the sort of people whose personal assistants I deal with, can afford it. / I don’t have a company, per se. People hire me for me, and I have a small team I trust to help out with the work itself.”) – he’s working with Rich People but he’s not one of them, really conscious of money issues here and there, including when it could be a disservice to him (“We were given to understand that the police were handling the matter, and if we pursued it closer then we would not be getting any further work from members of the club. As this covers almost everybody who can afford our services, we complied. It makes me feel sick, though, like we’re just abandoning Alf, dishonouring his memory. It’s not even like he had any family to miss him, it just feels wrong. I guess, maybe, that’s why I’m talking to you.”) I really like that yes, he had his interests in mind, of course! that’s human! but also shared this story in the hope of… something being done for his friend’s memory, because he didn’t like that they had to silence the truth about his death.

This one statement managed to intertwine many familiar names. Jurgen Leitner, Gerard Keay (I was wondering if it was him since his first description; then he confirmed his name! and Jon was assuming that yeah, it was indeed Gerard Keay and not any Gerard), Robert Smirke. Gerard Keay (who, again, seems to be mostly involved when Leitner’s books are around?) seemed to be trying to protect bystanders in previous statements – Lesere Saraki in December 2011 (MAG012) and Dominic Swain in winter 2012 (MAG004) – but it wasn’t really the case here ;; Events from this one took place at least ten years before the other two (statement was given in June 2002), so did something happen inbetween, which prompted a shift? He was also portrayed as very young in this one (called “kid” and he answered about his mother when asked a question: “When we asked him how he knew what was behind that wall he just shrugged, and told us that his mother knows all about this stuff.”) … I’m especially laughing really hard at how Harold described Jurgen Leitner back in 1987, because? Y’know? With the collection of Evil Books, I was a bit thinking about a stern, sinister person, but Harold described a… lunatic? throwing a tantrum when builders wanted to respect Legal Procedures when he asked them to dig a hole in his office (“When we told him we’d need to confirm it with the commercial landlord, he got very defensive, told us that it was fine and he’d need to discuss it with some other contractors first. When we told him we’d just need to have a quick phone call with the owner, he started screaming that we didn’t understand what we were talking about, that he didn’t need to explain himself to the likes of us, and there were some things… that were too important… too powerful to be owned. Then he just started yelling at us in Norwegian until we left.”)

Cute things aside, WHAT WAS THAT ENDING……………. Worms being here (it answered a question I had about whether or not the worms were getting inside the building or only around), and it sounded like Another Friday (Jon was already used to it?), and there was a ~special delivery~ from ~two mysterious characters~ for Jon, although Martin was the one there for the reception. (The script spoiled me about Who Was Speaking; I… objectively know that I should pay attention to any mentions of a pair of delivery men, I did until now, but somehow I think I wouldn’t have thought of them in that exact moment. Somehow.) Also woopsies, the sound of worms… faded when B&H’s steps began to be heard (we could still hear the sound when Jon left, so he didn’t squash them). Did the worms… flee… at their approach…

* MAG036: Nicole Baxter, a funeral director/mortician, about the strange incidents happening in Ivy Meadows Care Home during mid-August 2011-or-2012. She was working in Baxter and Gordon Funeral Directors (in Woodley) – William Gordon had passed away 5 years prior, George Baxter (Nicole’s uncle) is currently running it alone, Nicole and her cousin Josh (George’s son) have been hired to help. One day, Nicole Baxter received a call from a nurse, Alenka Kozel, about one of Ivy Meadows’ thirtyish residents (Bertrand Miller) who got ill and passed away (“I asked her for a few more details; she started to say something else, but the call was cut off almost abruptly.”) When Nicole and Josh went, the place seemed smellier and dirtier than usual; the new director, John Amherst, was unsettling (Josh declined shaking his hand) and took a while before accepting to lead them to Bertrand Miller’s body. On their way, they didn’t see anyone else (“I thought I spotted one of the nurses at one point, but they had turned and walked away as soon as they saw us.”). John Amherst instructed that Bertrand Miller should get cremated and the ashes returned to Ivy Meadows, for a “private remembrance service”; when Nicole&Josh saw the body, they were appalled but he told them that “the disease that had claimed poor Mr. Miller wasn’t contagious”. A bit of Nicole’s skin was accidentally exposed despite her gloves, during the handling, and she touched the corpse; it kept feeling itchy afterwards. George Baxter had trouble believing them but ended up taking care of the matter (“He had us tell it to him one more time, before he nodded, told us to stay away from the corpse of Bertrand Miller, and left, telling us he had to make a few calls. I have never seen a cremation done with such a quick turnaround […].”) and refused to send the ashes back to the residence. Two weeks later, Nicole received another call from Alenka Kozel, who just repeated “Come quickly. We’ve taken ill. We’ve passed away.” Nicole decided to go back to the place: it was silent and felt even dirtier and ill. She heard a tapping sound and went around to the other side of the building: what remained of Alenka Kozel was tapping against the window. Nicole tried to flee, got tackled by a strange old man who was accompanied by a young woman; the pair decided to let her go. They apparently burned the place down. Nicole’s hand is Still Not Fine at the time of the writing. Post-statement reveals that she lost her left hand “in what she calls ‘a workplace accident’”; that Ivy Meadows had been officially decommissioned in July and burned down on September 4th due to a gas leak; that Bertrand Miller had died on July 19th according to his death certificate – one week before Ivy Meadows was decommissioned. No trace of a John Amherst anywhere.

(Statement was given in November of the same year, though, and it’s stated as 2012, while Jon is mentioning the year 2011 in his post-statement… so it looks like Mr “I’m not re-recording them” made more mistakes! =D)

My computer is still dying and loves to lag at the worst times because it did it once again (“There was nobody behind it, and I rang the bell. I always wore gloves when on a removal, and was glad of that fact now, as I noticed a /// greasy residue on top of the small brass bell.”), giving me a bonus jumpscare. I had been warned that it was a ~disgusting~ statement, but no, it was a very sad one??? A story about… out-of-the-loop people, isolated by their situations, who had managed to make a good place for themselves despise the circumstances (“Something about the mutual loneliness seemed to lead them to create a real sense of community. It was the only place I ever went where the residents still gave me a smile. […] It was just a happy place, even if I was only there to do a sad duty.”)… and they ended up getting caught, imprisoned and consumed (?) by some evil thingy ;; Nicole Baxter had described Ivy Meadows as “removed enough from main road that it stood alone”, “almost entirely populated by those elderly who were entirely supported by the state”, “Old people without money or family, sent to be looked after by strangers”, and Jon added in the follow-up that the records were disastrous, making it hard to pinpoint who was still living there at the time, and that the staff was mostly undeclared immigrant (“the place employed a reasonable number of international staff they preferred to keep off the books”), so there was really this feeling that… something preyed on vulnerable people, who couldn’t fight back, and it was very, very sad. Jon himself didn’t exactly try to shoot this one down, he mostly highlighted the lack of physical proof in a way that was very neutral compared to his usual standards (he didn’t complain about people wasting his time or whatever), so it gave me the impression that he was a bit… gentler, towards these people who apparently suffered a great deal without anyone noticing, and who now can’t be remembered.

I liked Nicole’s tone! The first part of her statement was very aware and reflexive, she sounded very polite and neat overall? Not assuming that everyone would share her reasoning, so explaining her thought process in detail (“Fear is a strange thing, isn’t it? What you’re afraid of. […] There is one thing about dead bodies that does bother me, though. One thing that... eats at me, as it were, and does give me that sick tightness of fear deep in my gut. It is rot. […] That… the fear, the feeling. That tingling, squirming fear at the back of my mind […].”), before catching herself (“I’m rambling. Disregard this first page, I’ll start again.”), able to appreciate people and to throw in some dark humour here and there (“It feels odd to consider the fact that you will no longer exist some day, but you didn’t exist for billions of years before your birth, so, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to conclude that you will not exist afterwards in much the same way. I try to see life as a pleasant holiday from non-existence. It provides some comfort when the truth of my own mortality stares me in the face every day.”; “For a funeral director to say she has a favourite nursing home probably sounds a bit like the Grim Reaper talking about his favourite hospital, but it’s true.”). The self-awareness was still present at the time of her statement (“at that point we had no idea that there was anything wrong, but looking back it seems like we both felt there was something off about it. Or maybe we were just too hot for conversation and hindsight is colouring my memories.”) and there was a cautiousness about the way she dealt with her own memories that I found very pleasant. It sounds like George Baxter might have had an idea about what had happened, or at least had contacts who were able to provide some assistance/instructions about how to handle the body? Maybe we'll we hear about him again?

Nicole’s “I stood there, torn between wanting to flee and needing to know.” reminded me a bit of how Lesere Saraki had watched without doing anything (MAG012: Gerard Keay’s “Yes. For you, better beholding than the lightless flame.”) and, of course, Jon’s own declaration to Sasha (MAG026: “No. Whatever’s going on, I… need to know.”) Plus, there were two options later on (“I asked them what was going on, and the old man looked at his companion, as if asking permission, said something about knowledge being a good defence here. She shook her head and said that leaving quickly was a better one.”), so I really had the reflex to wonder about what Jon would have done instead, there. I’m not sure whether Alenka Kozel (the nurse) had tried to bait the statement-giver inside the residence, or was trying to get help – thinking at first that removing and disposing of the corpse would save them, in her first call, maybe? The first call had been cut short and John Amherst was apparently angry that someone had called for the morticians, so it sounded a bit as if… she had tried to do this in a last attempt (whether or not she was already contaminated herself), before getting caught and maybe prevented from interacting with Nicole when she went to retrieve the body. The second call sounded more like she had only vaguely kept  the reflex of How She Used To Human ;; (The residence was already illegal at this point, but I’m not sure if the staff knew about it when it happened… and then it was already too late for them, uh ;;) No idea about “Trevor”&the woman’s priority: granting the Ivy Meadows’ people an actual death to free them from their state? Trying to prevent the thing that had contaminated them from spreading further? Neutralizing John Amherst?

Small Jon Things: I found Jon’s tone especially funny when he reported the cross-checking (“We did contact the Baxters. Joshua Baxter repeated the first part of the above statement. George Baxter told us not to listen to tall tales. Nicole Baxter said she stands by her account […].”); I don’t know what is making me smile exactly in those repetitions, the… laconism, maybe? Also, when Tim interrupted him and asked if he could talk, Jon went from one voice to another (“Yes… Yes, I’m just about finished here, what is it?”): drowsy at first (although he had been more composed when acknowledging Tim’s entrance), then firmer, Usual Boss Jon Back At It. The contrast was nice <3 AND I’M SO GLAD TO HAVE HEARD TIM AGAIN!! Jon discovered that a lighter and a table had been delivered for him, is worried about the table, is going to ask more about it to Martin (“I need to talk to Martin. Uh, end recording.”: 1°) Yes, you always need to talk to Martin. Please, talk to Martin more. 2°) Jon probably moved a bit in his chair when he opened the drawer and/or talked with Tim, since there was a slight strain in his voice at the end, perfectly making you hear that he was extending his arm to reach the tape recorder and turn it off. Nice touch!)

… THERE WAS ONE THING SUPER STRANGE, and it is how. the. heckie. Jon managed to think about Trevor in the statement (“And the old man and his companion… who does that remind me of? If he wasn’t dead, I’d think it might have been Trevor—”). The only mention we had of him, afaik, was in MAG010 (Trevor’s own statement), so an internal POV, and Jon… thought about him despise the fact that it was an exterior description here? (And also despite the fact that Trevor apparently died the year prior.) And the only shared trait between Trevor in MAG010 and this mysterious man here is the accent from Manchester? So 1°) is it a matter of Jon once again withholding information, and knowing more about Trevor than what he said?, 2°) is it a matter of somethingsomething spooky happening, that allowed him to recognize someone because he’s read a first-person POV of the same person once?, 3°) … or did Jon forget to mention that he had seen pictures of Trevor? (MAG010: “So everyone around Manchester knows about Trevor the Tramp, sure. I hear someone even made me a page on the Internet and it got a few thousand likes. I don’t know exactly what that means but it sounds nice.” => Jon didn’t mention whether he checked that page, but should have been one of the first things to do.) Anyway, something was weird about that.

* MAG037: Jason North, about his discovery in the forest, near Loch Glass in Scotland. He found a clearing with trees that seemed deliberately arranged in a circle (they must have been planted at least fifty years ago), with a stone in the middle serving as a chair or an altar, with scorch marks on the ground. First weird thing happened when he entered the clearing: he got suffocatingly hot and his bottled water boiled his throat, making him collapse for a while. He noticed dead animals at the edge of the clearing, that looked like they were all badly sunburned – either they all were at the same time, either they were preserved in this state somehow. Iron nails were planted on the trees, suspending old milk bottles thanks to strings that “seemed far cleaner and newer than the bottles or their contents”. The content of the bottles varied (“some had pine needles and twigs, some were full of dirt, and one or two even held what appeared to be rainwater”) but all had, inside, the photograph of an old lady and a lock of hair (“grey, in poor condition”). While trying to take a picture, he accidentally dropped a bottle, which shattered on the ground; he knew he had done something very bad and fled, taking the picture with him. His car burned on the way home; his home (and his wife) burned during the week. He wants to save his son, Ethan. (Follow-up explains that, seven years later, the son is still alive; Jason immolated himself three days after giving his statement.)

Beginning of the episode had the discussion between Martin&Jon (about the deliveries for Jon) that was announced at the end of the previous episode… and it was more of an interrogation, really. I wanted to hear Martin again but not!! like!! this!! Jon, you’re going back to MAG022, ie not deserving Martin’s existence :[ How dare you pressure and be so cutting towards him!! How many times did Martin have to repeat himself before Jon launched the tape recorder ;; (And only because in the end, Jon wanted a trace of Martin’s version. Friendship ended with… well, nobody, but Tape Recorder Is Jon’s Best Friend Anyway, now.)

About the statement in itself: LOOK, I was already sad for the dude in MAG035 (the fact that the cause of his death was kept silent), I was sad that the isolated elderly and immigrant workers in MAG036, and now this??? I’m not spooked, just incredibly SAD????? I was the most heartbreaking one that I ever heard so far????? T________T 1°) It’s not the first one, but I have a Weakness for a character being well aware that they made a mistake, or at least did something that they shouldn’t have done… but Jason was also aware that he was also suffering from a very cruel and disproportionate retribution and aouch aouch aouch… (“I’m sorry. I know. There’s no-one to blame but my own stupid self. Blundering in where I had no right to go. […] For everything it’s done to me, I didn’t really do anything at all. Just messed around in the wrong clearing. […] I didn’t need to enter the clearing. But I did. […] The moment I crossed that threshold I knew I had made a mistake. […] I’ve always been too curious for my own stupid good. […] God knows I should have just left; it’s not like there weren’t plenty of warning signs. I just chose not to pay attention. […] and instantly I knew that I had meddled with something I should have left alone. […] I shouldn’t be in this mess. It’s absurd. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just dropped a bottle. That’s all! I don’t deserve this. I don’t.”)

2°) … he turned towards the Institute for help while… suspecting that they wouldn’t help. He is right, I guess? The Institute will never move a finger to help, that’s not its function, it’s here to… watch people burn (and other things, but “burn” fits, here)………..

3°) … and it wasn’t even help for himself only, it was for his son!!! And he just loves his son so much and you could hear it and T___T (“I just need to know if you can save my son. […] If I’m scared I’m going to lose Ethan like I lost everything else, then I’ll curl into a ball and never get up. I won’t be able to do anything to stop it. I won’t let my son burn, even if you cowards don’t have the guts to step up and do something. […] I didn’t mind being alone, though, because I knew I had my little boy Ethan waiting for me back at home. Four years old and already sharp as anything. And my wife Lucy. She used to be waiting for me as well. […] Now there’s only one thing I have left that I value. That I love. And I cannot lose him. I can’t lose Ethan.”). His job used to have to do with protecting animals (“Do you know what a pine marten is? It’s a wee bear. An adorable wee bear that needs to be protected.”), and the two were resonating strongly, and he had seen those scorched animals and he was fearing for his son and it’s just. The parallel was awful?! ;;

4°) I… found Jon overly emotional compared to his usual self, and it was subtle, mostly having to do with his way of delivering information: he began the follow-up with the mention that the little kid is still alive (“He didn’t, in the end. Lose Ethan, that is. Ethan North is currently a healthy eleven-year-old boy living with a loving foster family in Inverness.”) and… it gave me the impression that it was indeed the Most Important, that needed to be said – as if, in a way, it was to bring comfort to Jason, to convey that information to him posthumously? Jon didn’t need to put reassuring adjectives (“healthy”, “loving”) but he did, because he deemed that important. And gods ;; The rest of the follow-up, explaining that Jason North had apparently immolated himself just three days after giving the statement (“There’s no reason to believe that when Jason North doused himself in petrol on August the 10th 2009, then lit himself on fire, he was doing anything other than acting out the delusions of a paranoid alcoholic.”) was so… unconvincing, and Jon himself sounded unconvinced by what he was saying, that it made it clear that yes, the Institute did nothing; that yes, Jason North killed himself in the end to protect his son from whatever curse was pursuing him. So the follow-up was… giving me the impression that Jon was trying to communicate to Jason that yes, he did it, he had managed, he had succeeded in saving his son in the end (or at least, that it can be said and known that Jason did it). Jon’s voice was also less firm than usual, he was a bit softer and slower. Could be the tiredness, could also be because it was… simply a sad story. (Span of guilt, maybe, too, on the Institute’s behalf? The fact that Jason was desperate for help and didn’t receive any, just got told to write his story… without any compensation?, should sting a bit.) I had guessed that the picture was probably Gertrude’s ;; So what happened? Was it a ritual to try to kill her off, or something she did to neutralize some evil spooky powers from another cluster? Jon Couldn’t Anymore, at least (“I have no idea what this means. I have no idea what any of this means. I’m very tired.” with his voice drifting, he sounded like he was on the verge of dropping from his chair, eyes already closed and overall… very vulnerable.)

* MAG038: Andre Ramao, about an old vase and the disappearances of items around him. He is in the antiques business, used to have a shop, has been facing financial difficulties and ended up buying from Mikaele Salesa (who has a shady reputation legality-wise) in March 2012. Andre bought cavalry sabres from the Revolutionary War, a British artilleryman’s tunic from World War I, some more items. He got a crush on an old Chinese pot from the Jiajing period (“the blue glaze was painted on in crisp, thin geometric lines. They repeated perfectly and seemed to get smaller and more intricate the closer I looked, but the shapes they formed never lost any of the precision, seeming to continue on however closely I looked. The effect was disorientating, and made the vase seem smaller than it actually was. It made my head hurt a bit when I looked at it for too long. It was amazing.”), ended up buying it. However, later, when he received the invoice, the vase wasn’t listed: he contacted Salesa, who didn’t believe that he had ever owned the vase, asked for a few pictures, was suspicious (scared?) overall, and told Andre to keep it. Items then began to disappear around Andre: a pair of polished shoes, then a signed copy of Catch-22 that he held dear, etc. – including items bought from Mikaele Salesa, who, when called, answered that he had never sold these items to him (and they had indeed disappeared from the invoice). His husband David was beginning to get really worried, not remembering the items and thinking that Andre needed medical help. A month before giving his statement, Andre fell asleep in front of the vase (“I don’t remember my dream. Running, maybe?”), woke up seeing the missing items (and more) falling out from the vase; then, “the pale shapes of long, thin fingertips begin to creep above the lip of the pot” and he ran away. When he came back, David was gone, and so was the vase. According to Andre’s landlord, he has always lived alone. (The beginning of the post-statement reveals that, although the second name is blank, there is a marriage licence attesting that Andre was indeed married to someone.) Jon is cut short in his follow-up by the sight of an Unholy Creature (a spider on the wall), smashes it, makes shelves collapse, gets Sasha’s attention (and chuckles), causes a dent in the wall, discovers (many?) worms and screams at Sasha to run away.

I was thinking that this one might break the stream of Statements That Make Me Sad, and I was indeed pretty neutral at first despite the fact that it sounded right away like it wasn’t just a punctual spooky event but an ongoing thing, a bit like a curse (like last statement); from the get-go, the narrator sure didn’t sound like he was having a good time, but he was also able to crack a few jokes (“We haggled a bit, and eventually reached a price I considered only a little bit unreasonable.”, “[Mikaele Salesa] asked me if I’d had a chance to try out the sabres yet, which I’m pretty sure was a joke.”), so it couldn’t be that bad? And then, there was His Problem, the escalation from innocuous items to the book that was precious to him, and the mention that he was married to a man, the fear of being gaslighted/going crazy (“My perceptions are the only ones I can trust. Maybe. I don’t know.”, “For a while I thought he was actually trying to gaslight me, make me think I was losing my mind”), and now it wasn’t a book but the love of his life who disappeared, and there is no trace of him left, no proof that they were married… (“David was gone. I allowed myself some brief hope that maybe he’d just left me, maybe he’d escaped with just a divorce. But no. One call to the housing association confirmed that, as far as they were concerned, I’d always lived alone.”). LISTEN, that was… incredibly upsetting to think about, for a queer couple?! To think that his husband disappeared and that nobody would remember that they were married, to think that the person he loved was just erased like this…? (I mean, yeah, it wouldn’t have been funny for a straight couple either! But for a queer couple… there is the added heartbreak of people who maybe had to fight a bit to get to their current life, who were probably used to have people around them denying who they were, that they had a bond, that they were a couple – and here, one of them got erased out of existence…) (And it’s Tim who found the marriage certificate!!! Must have been super sad for Tim…) I wouldn’t have remembered the “Salesa” name from MAG014 if Jon hadn’t mentioned ~ case #0112905~! Also dealt with antiques, was also shady, except not alone back then. Andre mentioned some books (“several crates packed to the brim with heavy-looking volumes”) ssssso maybe he’s also hoarding some Leitners? Jon was pretty neutral for a follow-up, and he insisted pretty clearly that Andre Ramao had been married, so ;; Good. But given that his speech was interrupted by the spider, we don’t know if Andre Ramao is still alive or if they managed to contact him again.

… I’m still putting my hands on my face over the fact that 1°) after MAG016 and the “ghost spider”, Jon still thinks it’s a good idea to smash spiders (you’re so getting haunted, dude, and it will be karma for upsetting Martin), 2°) THAT HE DID IT IN WHAT IS BASICALLY MARTIN’S CURRENT HOUSE, 3°) that he dared to complain about Martin’s recriminations (“Oh, god. I don’t think I could stand another lecture on their importance to the ecosystem.”). I myself really don’t like spiders but LISTEN! If there is a kind soul that would be ready to get the spider out, you take this opportunity and you send them to their dea- to their duty. THAT ENDING… I was expecting the season finale to probably span two episodes, didn’t expect for things to go south already at the end of this one x’) The wall is not an exterior wall but a fake wall with… things crawling inside or behind. Welp. At least, we’re beginning to know how worms were getting in.

* MAG039: Worms Apocalypse. Tape Recorder 1 (the same as from MAG038): Jon trying to retrieve the tape recorder in the middle of the worm infestation; Martin arriving, beginning to use the fire extinguishers; the three of them running… and Jon losing the tape recorder. Tape Recorder 2 (Martin’s): Sasha, Jon and Martin in the sealed room. Jon gets at least one worm (painfully) removed thanks to Martin’s corkscrew, has trouble standing up. Jon explains that he doesn’t want to die as a “mystery”, hence the obsessive recording (“Whoever takes over from me is going to know exactly what happened.”) and makes a distinction between “real” statements and everything else – he pays more attention to the statements that don’t record digitally. Outside of the room, it looks like the worms have receded a bit; Tim comes back from his lunch; Jane Prentiss is approaching; they try to warn him but he can’t hear them; Sasha decides to barge in (out) to save Tim. Tape Recorder 1: Tim “Joe Spooky” finds the tape recorder lying on the floor and shamelessly pokes fun at Jon; Sasha jumps on him and they struggle a bit. Sasha grabs the tape recorder. Tape Recorder 2: Martin and Jon, now alone in the sealed room, hypothesise about Tim’s survival chances – they’re low, but Martin had a secret stash of fire extinguishers hidden in the office. Jon doesn’t think it was necessary to hide them, since the worms can’t have a consciousness. Martin gets mad at him about the scepticism (they’re supernatural!), Jon defends himself and confesses that he does believe the ~real~ statements but was afraid to state it, since he always felt watched during the recordings. Meanwhile, Prentiss is vomiting into some boxes. Jon wants to know why Martin is still working here; Martin admits that he has thought about quitting but didn’t in the end. Jon misinterprets his wording as Martin being a ghost. Tape Recorder 1: Sasha found Elias, after having activated the fire alarm (urging people to evacuate). ELIAS REVEALS THAT JONATHAN “I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive!” SIMS USED TO BE A SMOKER. Elias explains that until now, he had been a bit dismissive of their fears of the worm-things. The carbon dioxide system used to regulate fire hasn't turned on, however, since there isn’t any real fire; they go to activate it manually. Tape Recorder 1: Something is banging on the wall of Jon&Martin’s room. Turns out to be Tim, alive (yay!) and high on CO2 (YAY!): he found the fire extinguisher, and also secret tunnels, and also is totally out of it. They decide to try to go through the tunnels, since there are less worms there. Tape Recorder 2: Sasha is in the Artefact Storage, having gotten separated from Elias by a “wave of worms”. She explains that she used to work there, at first, and that she hates the place. She notices the Fucking Table that was delivered a few episodes ago, then sees something and addresses the thing. She screams. Something repeats some of her last words (“Hello? I see you.”) Tape Recorder 1: Tim and Jon are in the tunnels; they lost Martin (or Martin left them behind), and the tunnels don’t sound like a great idea anymore due to the worms’ aggressive behaviour. Tim is going to open a trapdoor, hoping it doesn’t lead them back to the Archives. Tim opens it: apparently, it does – there is Jane Prentiss. Indication that the situation is catastrophic: Jon says “Shit.”

I’m a stupid silly brat, but I really had to pause, 2’30 in, to just… shake it off and laugh (I was in tears). Jon having the worst priority and risking everything for the tape recorder because OF COURSE? (Jon, no.) Jon shouting orders for Martin to do things but being at a loss about where to go or how to take initiative? (Not holding yourself to your own standards, uh? =D) Martin’s frantic “I don’t see her! I don’t see her! I don’t see her!” while spraying CO2 everywhere. (He… probably had his eyes closed at this moment, wasn’t he.) The “[RUNNING, PURSUED BY WORMS]” which was just… Beautiful. The fact that we jumped to the worm extraction, and yes, that moment was chilling (Jon… screaming. Gg. Gg. Aesthetic.), but also immediately followed by Sasha commenting about how disclaimer: Contrary To Some People, I Have Not Been A Softie!!, because Priorities, with Jon coming back from Painland just to bite back about how He Obviously Got It Worse So It Can’t Be Compared because PRIORITIES. And the reveal that they have used a corkscrew, that Martin had been hoarding a corkscrew, and Sasha’s immediate reaction being to ask if he was basically partying in the Archives (picture Jon’s horrified&murderous face here, probably). Martin explaining his reasoning, followed by the biggest pause ever perfectly conveying the Stares and the Judging, before Martin tried to defend himself (“Look, you guys got to go home every day, okay.”) At this point, I was losing it from laughter. Yes, the situation is dire! Yes, bad stuff happening! But rfidjnrfdcuhjn they were all adorkable at the same time. Silly idiots. Just. Those three’s priorities. (Sasha: to explain that she takes pain better than Jon / Jon: to explain that no, it’s because Sasha was bad at removing his worm / Martin: justifying why he had been clinging for dear life to a corkscrew for the past months.) And silly urban posh idiots – who somehow never… ever… considered… a tick remover… for worms… (or even tweezers!!!). The three of you have never set one toe in the countryside ever, have you. (I’m really, really losing it over how nobody thought about using a tick remover.)

I think I gushed extensively over many things from this episode already, so I’m going to stick to the basic facts: I had seen fanarts of smoking!Jon, I had assumed it was for the Aesthetic of it (which. Indeed. Noice.), but I was… not prepared… to learn it this way (=> because Elias made a quick comment about it, and the way he delivered that information). That said, FUCK YOU ELIAS RE: WHAT HAPPENED TO SASHA (I’m even more upset given how Sasha… quickly mentioned that she was aware that Elias was a bit too suspiciously shady, being too good at changing the subject when it’s apparently touchy, and ahahaha, she’s the first one to die, right after… discussing and rushing with Elias. How convenient.) It was really action-packed and all the dialogues were great, damniiit! The way tension and laughs were mixed together, with the delivery of information, and how… yes, finally, we got to get a glimpse of Jon himself during the crisis!! Aaaaand the fact that Sasha died… raised the stakes, I guess: because this one thing means Changes and means that no, definite and bad things can also happen… even when we think that the worst is behind. (I have heard of some of the Many Awful Things to come. But this was the first incidence of something terrible and definitive happening: Martin had made it out alive in MAG022, so did Sasha in MAG026, Jon’s worm was removed at the beginning of this episode, and so far, they had managed to avoid them… But Sasha didn’t escape the table.) (And then, the worms got Tim and Jon. But it’s pretty ironic that, in the end, Jane Prentiss, who was set up as the season’s antagonist… didn’t manage to kill any of them, while The Table did.)

* MAG040: Worms apocalypse – The Follow Ups. Jon got out of quarantine and is on painkillers, and refuses to go home until he has the staff’s individual statements about their whereabouts during the invasion. Elias is not happy about Jon’s stubbornness, confirms that Jane Prentiss is dead and burned (he watched.), but ultimately relents. - Elias was in his office when the fire alarm was activated. He began to evacuate, was joined by Sasha, who explained that she was the one responsible for the fire alarm and that the others were currently trapped in the Archives, attacked by worms. They went to activate the fire suppression system manually, got separated by a tidal wave of worms. Elias took another road, activated the system alone after a while, called the fire department, an ambulance and a contact at the ECDC that had worked on a Jane Prentiss case before, and went down to the Archives. Sasha was already there, with Jon’s and Tim’s bodies – in bad shape. Jon and Tim were taken away, Jane Prentiss was being prepared for disposal, when Martin came back through the trapdoor, saying that he had found a body. Jon asks Elias about Gertrude Robinson’s death, and Elias begrudgingly answers: on 15th March 2015, he had come down to the Archives, discovered lots of blood on her desk; the police confirmed it was hers and that a human body couldn’t have survived such an injury. The police took over the case, and Elias appointed Jon as the new archivist. - Tim is out of quarantine and dead inside: his joke about “itching” led to more tests, hence the fact that he came out after Jon. Tim recalls how, after lunch, when he came back to the archives, he discovered the tape recorder on the ground: Jane Prentiss appeared, Sasha tackled him, they struggled a bit and he told her to go get help. He ran to take shelter into the office but discovered more worms and the hole in the wall. He found the CO2 canisters, used them a lot, went into the tunnels – and has some trouble remembering details from then on, because of respiratory acidosis. He avoided the few (fast) worms he met, wandered a bit until he heard Martin’s and Jon’s voices and demolished some plasterboard and that’s when they got reunited. Tim is not sure, but he also thinks that he recalls a room in which worms were forming a sort of ring, or a doorway. He killed them with CO2. - “Sasha” quickly explains that she saved Tim, fled, activated the alarm, went to Elias, got separated from him, retreated in the Artefact Storage room. She heard Prentiss’s scream when the fire system got activated, and saw that the worms died. She went back to the Archives, discovered Tim’s and Jon’s bodies, still alive but barely, dragged them to a place with more air and began to remove the worms. Elias joined her with the people he had contacted; Sasha explained what had happened and waited with Elias. One or two hours afterwards, they heard shouts, and Martin came back from the trapdoor, saying that he had found Gertrude’s body. Elias called the police at this moment. Jon asked about the whereabouts of the tape she had on her: Sasha says that it probably got ejected one of the times the tape recorder fell. - Martin is tired, got interrogated by the police. He feels guilty that he left Jon and Tim back in the tunnels, insists that it was an accident, is not fine about it; Jon calms him down. Martin describes how he got lost in the tunnels, until he found Gertrude’s body, sat on a chair with boxes of tapes around. He ran away and managed to find the trapdoor, in the end. He doesn’t think that he will be able to find the place again. Jon pressures him to know how Gertrude died: Martin finally confesses that he saw three bullet wounds in her chest. - Gertrude was shot and it terrifies Jon. He thinks that she had managed to learn a secret behind the statements, and that that's why she was murdered. He notes that some of his tapes are now missing, and that he won’t trust anyone around him – but that he’s going to uncover the mysteries.

I screamed a lot about this one in the character sections, so I’ll try to be quick (ha). I… loved it… so much… the way Jon behaved differently with everyone… the way the information was distilled (slowly making us understand that Martin had found a body, that it was Gertrude’s body, the fact that we finally heard the whole story from Martin’s mouth at the end)… I’m weeping at Jon towards the end, because obviously, NOOOOOOO DON’T D: (It’s very close to the feeling of excitement you can get when a character usually announces that he will go on an adventure, or go after a mystery… but here, it’s not coming with joy. It’s Jon going deeper into something that is likely to hurt him, and he doesn’t sound like he’s doing with a happy vibe, but with fear and dread. And he’s going alone. And Aouch.)

* Season 1’s Q&A

… It’s making me feel very very weird to call People Behind The Show by their first names like they’re old friends when I’m a newcomer and I’ve been listening for uuuuuuuuuuh 8 weeks but apparently that what the fanbase does s o…

- Laughed hard about Jonny explaining that they got asked a lot whether his/Jon’s accent was fake (“I go a little bit dryer, a little bit more…” “Academic.” “Academic, yes, for Jonathan, but it is my real voice.”: that was very charitable from you two, you could have said “more stuck-up and haughty” for Jon because the difference was jarring =D and he’s giving academia a bad name.), but

Alex: Funnily, no one asked if all the other characters’ voices are real. Jonny: No, apparently they, they sound– Alex: Human. Jonny: –they sound genuine […].

- … I didn’t know that Jonny had planned from the start that the series would be 5 seasons-long bUT I LOVE IT!!!

Jonny: Then I crafted the ending… as in, the ending of season 5. I hate series that don’t have an end goal. […] And since then, aspects of the end have shifted slightly with the writing – because they always do – but I still know where it’s going.

- … and I love how, in the same breath, it’s also very down-to-earth.

Jonny: A couple of the episodes which are… dream-like in tone because they were written to be dream-like, others are a bit dream-like in tone because it was very late at night when they were written.

- Preparation for an episode:

Jonny: Obviously, I've been fasting for a few days to purify the blood. […] To be honest, largely it involves just reading down a few paragraphs in the Archivist’s voice, to get my head in the right space for actually reading it.

- Alex’s Sufferings laid in the multicast recording episodes because directing challenges! =D

Jonny: [They were] easily the most complicated. Alex: Ooooh yeah. Jonny: Because we were doing an actual audio drama rather than an audiodrama-esque anthology series.

- Question about “Are there any Magnus Bloopers? Has Jonathan Sims ever laughed, ever?”

Jonny: No. No. Alex: *undignified laughter* Jonny: No, I laugh a lot. Alex: *BURSTS OUT LAUGHING* Jonny: I laugh uproariously. Some might say that I laugh too much. Alex: Not many. Jonny: No, no, I've never actually heard it, but I assume they say it.

(From the production side, though, Alex said they won’t release the bloopers any time soon “because they’re a bit of a mood-killer” :( So we’re getting killings and our happy mood getting repeatedly hurt, but still no bloopers.)

Jonny: Also, I’m very sweary in real life.

LET JON SAY “FUCK”!!! (Though yeah, Jon’s “Shit.” was… earned.) … But it’s also having to do with itunes’ ratings, ooooh.

Jonny: No rude words. I could say ‘BOMBS’ maybe… Alex: *laughs* Jonny: … but I won’t.

(I KNOW ABOUT TIM :[[[[[[)

- … Alex, what did you DO to pasta. (About the SFX for the Hive)

Alex: I won’t tell people how we make the worms sound, but it just involves A LOT of pasta. LOTS AND LOTS of pasta. Jonny: Deeeeliiiicious screaming pasta.

- Status towards fanbase is LOVE, main emotion is “gratifying” and oooh, reminds me a bit of Ryuukishi07’s stance: Jonny said he was lurking (~keep an eye on~, said twice.) to check some people’s specific opinions, because they tended to pick up on things (and if they didn’t, it meant that Jonny should insist on them). … And also, about the mistakes that had been spotted (I’m guessing this is what prompted the beginning of MAG033 with Tim? =D), “It’s actually fair.” (and Jonny compared to getting someone pointing out your mistakes during a final exam), because it is a ~Mystery~ so you’re supposed to get the tools to understand things! … so yeah, all the comparisons between TMA and Umineko (insert here discussions/debates from the canon about Mystery/Fantasy/Anti-Mystery/Anti-Fantasy/Without Love It Cannot Be Seen) still totally stand /o/

- We’re keeping the “regular” formula /o/

Jonny: Generally, as the series goes on, there will be more of that [like end of season 1/more live-actions things]; at its core, it will still remain one episode = one statement = one story.

- Biggest challenge in season 2?

Jonny: Balancing horror and mystery.

(Because there is The Power of the Unknown at the beginning of series, so it’s easier, so the biggest challenge would be to balance the “unknown and story while at the same time providing enough answers to the mystery”; giving answers but not everything; and we’re getting promised that some things will stay hidden. YEP UMINEKO ALL OVER AGAIN YAAAAAASSSSS!!!)

- Alex commented about “Jonny’s sultry tones” so is there a competition going on with Ben (and others) about who’s getting the Sultriest voice.

Alex: And weee look forward to seeing you again for season 2! Jonny: See you then :)

I’M NOT SMILING AT THAT LAST ONE :[

Actualization on current main threads:

- Jon & Injuries I DID GATHER that Jon has been collecting injuries by the end of season 3, so I’m keeping track of them. * MAG039: bitten by at least one worm towards the beginning (“Did you get it?”), maybe more, and it was on his leg:

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: I can’t really stand up yet. […] MARTIN: Can, can you walk, Jon? ARCHIVIST: No, I can limp.

* MAG040: at the end of the previous episode, encountered Jane Prentiss, and it went… badly, so currently covered in holes/scars. And so is Tim.

- Oh So Many Red Flags for Gertrude * MAG037: during the summer of 2009, Jason North discovered a clearing with scorch marks, with trees in a circle. Bottles were suspended, each containing a picture of Gertrude (“An old woman, probably in her fifties or sixties, wearing reading glasses and grey hair curled into a tight bun. She stared out disapprovingly from every bottle.”). Jon dates the picture as “circa 2002 as best I can tell.” * MAG039, Jon: “I still don’t know what happened to Gertrude. Officially she’s still missing, but Elias is no help and the police were pretty clear that the wait to call her dead is just a formality.” (… Revealing that it wasn’t a clear death, contrary to what we had been told until then. In MAG011, Jon had reported that Elias “simply said she had passed away and not to worry about it overmuch. Actually, now I think about it, his exact phrase was that she ‘died in the line of duty’, which I had assumed meant having a stroke at her desk or something similar”.) * MAG040: according to Elias, on the 15th of March 2015, she disappeared and a lot of blood was discovered at her desk – the Police did confirm that it was hers, and Elias appointed Jon as her successor. At the end of MAG039’s events, Martin discovered her body when he was lost in the tunnels:

(MAG040) MARTIN: […] When I finally found a door, I thought it might actually get out, but instead… It was a small room. Square. There was dust on everything. Cardboard boxes were piled around. They were full of old cassette tapes. […] She was sat in a wooden chair in the middle of the room. No worms. No cobwebs. Just… an old corpse. Gertrude Robinson. She was slumped forward, but I could see her mouth hanging open.

She was shot three times in the chest. Jon believes that someone from the Institute murdered her, because she had put her finger on something hidden under the statements.

- FEAAAARRRRS … It sounded superfluous to pay attention to this since “it’s a podcast about fear and about gods/Entities related to fears” was something I knew even before beginning to listen, but at this point, Jon is beginning to understand that the way people experience fear(s) is relevant, so! I want to keep track of the steps, now (/but I’m also too lazy to go back) (for now): * MAG032, Jane Prentiss’s statement: “You must understand, it sings so sweetly, and I need it, but I am afraid. […] The song is loud and beautiful and I am so very afraid.” * MAG033, Carlita Sloane’s statement: “[Sean Kelly] didn’t talk any more than the others, but he also didn’t go around with that blank look on his face. He looked scared.” * MAG035, Harold Silvana’s statement: “[Alfred Bartlett] was dead. I couldn’t see any injuries on him. He didn’t even seem hurt. But looking at how still he lay there, the terrified, awful expression frozen on his face, there was no chance he was alive.” * MAG036, Nicole Baxter’s statement: “Fear is a strange thing, isn’t it? What you’re afraid of. For most people, a corpse is at the least unnerving and, for some, outright terrifying. Or maybe it’s disgust. They are two very different feelings, aren’t they? Though they often bleed into each other, if you’ll pardon the pun.” MAG036, Jon: “Still, there’s a lot here that puts me in mind of other statements. Something in the way Ms. Baxter talks about fear. I can’t help but be reminded of statement 0142302, how Jane Prentiss talks about her own fears.” * MAG037, Jason North’s statement: “I’ve been drinking. […] Only way to keep the fear from settling in. If I’m scared I’m going to lose Ethan like I lost everything else, then I’ll curl into a ball and never get up.”

- Fractals Geometrical patterns YES ALRIGHT, that’s a lot of mysterious items/obsessions with geometric patterns here and there, so *squints* * MAG003: Amy Patel described The Table (currently at the Institute, forwarded to Jon) as “an “ornate wooden thing, with a snaking pattern of lines weaving their way around towards the centre. The pattern was hypnotic and shifted as I watched it, like an optical illusion. I found my eyes following the lines towards the middle of the table, where there was nothing but a small square hole.” Tim confirmed the “Fascinating design on it.” (MAG036) * MAG008: Ivo Lensik’s father suffered from schizophrenia (or did he.), went recluse to dedicate his life to his ~work~: “fractals. He became obsessed with them, seemed to spend all of his time drawing them, staring at them, measuring the patterns they created. He would talk to me for hours about the maths behind them and tell me that he was on the verge of a great truth. He was going to shake mathematics to its foundations once he figured out this truth, hidden in those cascading fractal patterns.” He was found “in a pool of blood, with deep gouges along his wrists and arms. […] The inquest ruled his death a suicide, although the coroner wasn’t able to identify the tool that had made the cuts on his arms or why he had such a look of fear on his face.” * MAG038: Andre Rameo’s vase was described with “blue glaze was painted on in crisp, thin geometric lines. They repeated perfectly and seemed to get smaller and more intricate the closer I looked, but the shapes they formed never lost any of the precision, seeming to continue on however closely I looked. The effect was disorientating, and made the vase seem smaller than it actually was. It made my head hurt a bit when I looked at it for too long. It was amazing.” … And Ivo Lensik’s father had told him that “someone was following him, told me that they were planning to stop his work. I asked him who it was but he shook his head violently and said I’d know him when I saw him because ‘all the bones are in his hands’.” (MAG008), which is… the way Not!Sasha described Michael (MAG040: “Yes, Michael… With the bones in his hands. We still don’t know much about him, do we?”), unlike Sasha, who had noticed the big hands but not described them in these words. So. The death of Ivo Lensik’s father sounds quite likely to be related to Michael, and it seems that Not!Sasha had heard about him/it? (… Sasha tended to say “it”.)

- Worms * They tend to go inside the building by MAG034:

(MAG034) ARCHIVIST: Well… quite. Now, if you’d be so good as to— DR. ELLIOTT: You know you have an infestation, don’t you? ARCHIVIST: Excuse me? I’m not sure— DR. ELLIOTT: Yes, little, grey, maggot things. I saw a few on the way in. Don’t recognise the species, but I’d say you need to get the exterminators in here. Gas the little blighters. ARCHIVIST: You saw them? You weren’t bitten were you? DR. ELLIOTT: Bitten? They’re worms. Still, I’ll admit I didn’t like the look of them. I reckon the sooner you get someone in to kill them dead, the better. ARCHIVIST: We’ve tried, believe me.

* … Sometimes popping up in the Archives as of MAG035, given that at least one appear(s) near Jon and that he already sounded a bit used to the procedure to exterminate them (“Martin, where did you put the rest of the extinguishers? Martin!”). * There. A lot of them, hidden by plasterboard-that-wasn’t-an-exterior-wall at the end of MAG038. * The main characters of MAG039, apparently synched with Jane Prentiss or something since they all died when she/it did. Had the time to scar Tim and Jon, probably forever.

- Spiderrrrrs * MAG008: in late 2006, Ivo Lensik discovered the box that apparently goes inside The Table: it contained a green apple that immediately rotted and split, freeing hundreds of spiders; Ivo then “smashed it with a crowbar and threw the remains into a skip”. * MAG016: ghost spiders haunting Carlos Vittery, who died shortly after giving his statement (his “body was completely encased in web”). The spiders may have been attracted by the worms, since Jane Prentiss was hiding in the building’s basement? According to Carlos, “they provided a good meal for the eight-legged little monsters.” * MAG022: Martin is knowledgeable about spiders, won’t allow Jon to slander them (“I knew there was something not right about the whole thing from the off. I said it probably wasn't natural, him dying and being encased in web when he was found, and I stand by that”) and also Loves Them – “I like spiders. Big ones, at least. Y’know, y’know the ones you can see some fur on; I actually think they’re sort of cute—” (Jon… doesn’t.) * MAG032: Jane Prentiss reported spiders in her home, before discovering the nest – “There were webs in the corners, around the entryway into the attic. I would watch them scurry and disappear in between the wooden boards. ‘Where are you going, little spiders?’ I would think. ‘What are you seeing in the dark? Is it food? Prey? Predators?’” * MAG035: Breekon and Hope (?) deliver an old zippo with a spider web design on the front for Jon, who discovers it in MAG036. * MAG038: a spider on the wall, that Jon smashed with glee despite all common sense, led to the discovery that the worms were infesting the passages around the Archives.

- Teeth * MAG005: The bin men discovered a bag containing “hundreds, thousands of teeth” at 93 Lancaster Road. According to police reports, they were “all in different stages of decay and didn’t match any available dental records, but all two thousand seven hundred and eighty of them were the exact same tooth.” * MAG034: Students form anatomy class left an apple with “healthy adult teeth, and most of them appeared to come from different people” inside of it for Dr. Lionel Elliott.

- The Table (aaaand the box.) According to Amy Patel, “an “ornate wooden thing, with a snaking pattern of lines weaving their way around towards the centre. The pattern was hypnotic and shifted as I watched it, like an optical illusion. I found my eyes following the lines towards the middle of the table, where there was nothing but a small square hole.” (MAG003) * MAG003: used to belong to Graham Folger, who had bought it years ago in a second-hand shop (“It had been in pretty bad shape but he’d spent a long time and a lot of money restoring it, though he’d never been able to figure out what was supposed to go in the centre. He assumed it was a separate piece and couldn’t track it down.”) Graham was ~replaced~ by a Not Graham on April 7th, 2006. * MAG008: on November 23rd 2006, Ivo Lensik discovered “a small wooden box, about six inches square, with an intricate pattern carved along the outside. Engraved lines covered it, warping and weaving together, making it hard to look away” under the bleeding tree from the House on Hill Top Road. The box contained a green apple that immediately rotted and split, liberating hundred of spiders; Ivo then “smashed it with a crowbar and threw the remains into a skip” (Agnes Montague’s body was found on the same day: she had hanged herself, was 26-except-she-shouldn’t-have-been, and had a severed right hand with her.) * MAG035: the table was brought in by Breekon and Hope delivery, along with a zippo, for Jon. (<- unclear what they delivered exactly, since they only mentioned a “Package for Jonathan Sims” to Martin at this point) * MAG036: according to Tim, Martin “took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you.” Jon had forgotten, until now, that Martin has put it in his desk drawer: he discovers the lighter/old zippo with a spider web design on the front; the table, meanwhile, “was sent straight to the Artefact Storage”. * MAG037: Martin actually didn’t see the table and thinks Rosie must have signed for its reception, since her desk is on the way to Artefact Storage. According to Jon, Rosie described “Two men, doesn’t know how they got in, too intimidated to ask”, so it’s not actually quite clear if she signed for the reception? Martin thinks they should destroy it, Elias advised in that direction, but Jon decides that nah. (“I’m more inclined to keep studying it. We’re not in the business of destroying knowledge.”) * MAG039: during the Prentiss attack of the Institute, Sasha took shelter in the Artefact Storage, arrived in front of the table (“I’ve found… I’ve found that table you were talking about. Don’t really see what all the fuss is about. Just a… basic… optical illusion. Nothing special…”) and felt someone; was replaced by Not Sasha, without the others being aware of it.

- The Lighter/old zippo with a spider web design on the front. * MAG035: the zippo, along with The Table, was delivered by Breekon and Hope delivery for Jon. (<- unclear what they delivered exactly, since they only mentioned a “Package for Jonathan Sims” to Martin at this point) * MAG036: when Tim mentions the items that Martin received for Jon the previous week, Jon remembers the package that Martin had put in his desk draw: he discovers the lighter (and vehemently denies being a smoker).

(MAG036) TIM: Okay. Is there anything unusual about it? ARCHIVIST: Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front. Doesn’t mean anything to me. You? TIM: Ah no. No. ARCHIVIST: Well… show it to the others, see what they think.

(So the others saw it, which explains why Sasha was able to tell Elias that Jon had a lighter in MAG039.)

- Breekon and Hope delivery I’m almost tempted to wonder if they’re not actually working for the Institute, since the red calliope was taken by them before January 2005 and it had been stored in the Institute’s Artefact Storage since “somewhere in 2007”, but I’m also feeling that this could be a hilariously wrong assessment. * MAG035: On-tape, post-statement, while Jon was away and Martin had come down, they delivered the ornate wooden table that used to belong to Graham Folger (MAG003). * MAG037: According to Martin, remembering the delivery, they looked aggressively normal: “There were two delivery men. They were big, and they spoke with cockney accents that might have been fake, and they delivered a package for you. I don’t remember anything else about what they looked like. […] They looked normal. Like you’d expect. They looked like two, huge, cockney delivery men.” According to Rosie, reported by Jon: “Two men, doesn’t know how they got in, too intimidated to ask, looked ‘exactly like you’d expect’.”

- Mikaele Salesa * MAG014: Lee Rentoul had mentioned that Noriega, his target, was supposed to meet with Salesa: “a big Samoan guy with close-cropped hair”, “dealt mainly in stolen art and curious, valuable stuff, and was paranoid as hell, which meant Noriega was going to be there alone”. Salesa came with “four men in dark suits, who carried a square wooden crate between them” and they left with it (apparently, the business transaction didn’t work out). … was it the coffin from MAG002, maybe? * MAG038: according to Andre Ramao, he “has a good reputation for quality, but a… bad reputation for legality”. Andre Ramao bought a spooky antique vase from his “showroom” (a warehouse); Mikaele Salesa was the only person to have ever laughed about his joke (“I’ve been in the antiques business for a long time. It’s not what it used to be. […] There’s a follow up to that one, you know. Something along the lines of the joke being so old only an antiques dealer would be able to sell it.”) When Andre contacted him because Salesa hadn’t put the vase on his invoice, Salesa didn’t remember ever owning it, asked for pictures, and declared: “I do not remember having that thing, which means it belongs to you.” Andre mentioned that there were big books in Salesa’s warehouse (“I recall I felt a moment of relief that I didn’t deal in books, as I caught sight of several crates packed to the brim with heavy-looking volumes.”), so maybe some more Leitners? * MAG038: Jon, in his follow-up, identifies him a bit more; “he appears to have something of a knack for locating objects displaying more… disconcerting phenomena. I believe some of the more bizarre things in the Artefact Storage area were purchased from him.” (Is he perhaps tied to the Institute?)

- Trevor Herbert and a woman * MAG010: on July 10th 2010, Trevor gave his statement about the death of his brother and his activities as a vampire hunter, succumbed to lung cancer in the Institute’s break room before he could keep going. * MAG036: a “faded white Transit van” was parked in front of Ivy Meadows. There was an “old man” with a “long, white beard matted and filthy”, a “thick Mancunian accent”, a skin that was “unblemished pink” who temporally immobilized the statement giver (Nicole Baxter); he was accompanied by a “young woman, tall and lean with close-cropped hair and a deep scar over her right eye” who advised to let her go. They burned down Ivy Meadows (and what was left of their residents…?). No further description, but Nicole felt like she had already seen the man (“I could swear I recognised him from somewhere”) and Jon couldn’t help but think about Trevor for some reason (spooky? Hiding information from us again? Went to consult Trevor’s Internet page mentioned in MAG010?).

- John Amherst * MAG036: he was the new Director of Ivy Meadows, succeeding Hannah Ramirez (“tall man”, “rail thin”, “wore a faded brown suit that seemed to have been cut for a much fatter man. His eyes were a watery blue and his dark hair stood on top of his head in an unruly mess. He must have been around forty, but had a nervous sort of energy to him”, had a “thick, sweaty hand”). According to Jon, he doesn’t exist (or not under this name?): they’ve been “unable to locate anyone fitting that description anywhere within the care or medical sector, and he certainly never ran any nursing homes.” Unclear if he died in the fire or is at large ;;

- Mary and Gerard Keay * MAG035: before June 4th 2002 (the date of the statement), Gerard Key (“looked to be in his late teens”, “dressed all in black, with heavy looking boots and a T-shirt with the logo of some band emblazoned on it, Megadon or Mastodon, or something like that. His hair was long and greasy, almost down to his shoulders, and looked to be dyed almost the same black as his clothes.”) was searching for “Leitner’s pages”, destroyed a fake wall and went into hidden corridors apparently constructed by Robert Smirke. He retrieved a book and fled. Due to the amount of bones, I suppose it’s the Leitner book that Mary Keay had in her possession in Winter 2012 (MAG004)?

- Jurgen Leitner (and his books) * MAG035: Harold Silvana and Rachel met him in London back in 1987. He was then, “a businessman from Norway”, described with “portly, middle-aged, short blond hair in the middle of going grey, well-tailored business suit”, and had his office in the building next to the Reform Club (100 Pall Mall). He wanted them to dig a hole (“He said he needed a hole put through the floor. I thought there would have been a basement under there, and he said no, the building’s basement didn’t go under these rooms.”) Jon confirmed that he had “hired out an office on the ground floor of 100 Pall Mall between 1985 and 1994. He was apparently one of the premier worldwide dealers in rare and antique books at the time, with items selling for the sort of sums where an office in Pall Mall doesn’t raise any eyebrows.” (MAG035) * MAG035: Harold Silvana could smell something like “Damp old stone and musty paper, just a faint whiff” (which was apparently the smell of “Leitner’s pages” according to Gerard Keay?). Gerard Keay retrieved a book that left bones behind in the corridors elaborated by Robert Smirke, so probably the book Mary Keay had in her possession in MAG004. Jon wonders if the books in the tunnels were “where they were found, or just where they were stored.”

- Robert Smirke Tim is a fan! * MAG035: mentioned by Harold Silvana as the architect behind the British Museum and Carlton Club (which got destroyed during the Second War, and where the 100 Pall Mall currently stands instead: “it looked like the underground foundations, or whatever this place was, had not been damaged”). Apparently, he constructed a system of galleries underground, one entrance being on 100 Pall Mall: Harold&company reached a crossroads with fourteen doorways (including theirs): “There was one that, for all the world, it felt like I was going to fall into it. Another was so dark that our torches didn’t seem to reach more than a few feet inside.” In the middle, a datestone had a mention: “Robert Smirke, 1835. Balance and fear”. Harold’s coworker was found dead in “a small, round room. Against the walls were old bookshelves, decayed and empty, save for a few mouldering pages” and Gerard Keay had apparently retrieved a book from here (leaving bones behind). Harold Silvana had trouble getting out, took some wrong doors in the crossroads, only remembers “the vaguest memories: flashes of a pile of paper, completely covered in cobweb; a figure stood in the darkness, a stranger I didn’t know but was sure meant me harm; my skin burning, hot, choking on smoke down there in the dark.” (I’m supposing there was one doorway for each entity…? … was it including one for the Institute then.) According to Jon, “Smirke’s buildings have higher percentages of reported paranormal sightings than any other architect of similar profile.” * MAG040: Tim thinks that the tunnels under the Institute might be related to some of Smirke’s buildings (MAG040, Martin: “It’s a, it’s a maze down there, Jon. I don’t know how far the passages go, maybe miles. I think it must be the old Millbank Prison, like Tim was saying before. I even found some stairs at one point, but I really didn’t want to go down them.”)

Live statements so far:

* MAG013: Naomi Herne * MAG022: Martin Blackwood [archive team] * MAG026: Sasha James [archive team] * MAG028: Melanie King * MAG034: Dr. Lionel Elliott * MAG040: Elias Bouchard, Tim Stoker, “Sasha James”, Martin Blackwood [debriefing post-Prentiss attack] 

Time, what is time

Additional note: Sasha went after police reports for the Harold Silvana case back in MAG024 (March 2016), and Jon recorded this one in MAG035 (July 2016) – so at least 4 months passed between some research and the recording. I’m assuming that they’re all working on multiple cases at the same time, but still, that makes quite a long time before the beginning of their investigations and the moment they archive/“close” cases! * MAG013: 13/01/2016 * MAG022: 12/03/2016 [Martin begins to live in the Archives] * MAG023: one week later (Martin: “It’s been a week and we’ve seen nothing.”) * MAG026: 02/04/2016 (recounting events from March 31st and April 1st) * MAG028: 17/04/2016 * MAG031: Mid-May 2016? (“It’s… been two months now… since Martin returned…”) * MAG034: 12/07/2016. * MAG039: [28th or 29th July 2016] * MAG040: 29/07/2016.

Quotes that I keep in mind, feeling that I’ll cry over them soon:

(MAG037, Jason North’s statement): God knows I should have just left; it’s not like there weren’t plenty of warning signs. I just chose not to pay attention.

(Jon ;;…….)

(MAG037) MARTIN: […] Look, Jon, I do think we should destroy the table, though. I mean, if it’s the one from Amy Patel’s statement. Just in case. ARCHIVIST: Elias told me the same thing. Luckily he phrased it as advice rather than an instruction, so for now I’m more inclined to keep studying it. We’re not in the business of destroying knowledge.

(… Already crying over the fact that Jon wanted to “keep studying” the table, hence keeping it intact, hence Sasha’s death, but also, that “We’re not in the business of destroying knowledge”…)

(MAG040) ARCHIVIST: No. I need to be here, keep watch, I need to be sure…

There was obviously some terrible “hahaha.” feeling, as a listener, when Jon went on about how he was feeling ~watched~ when he recorded, and how he was afraid that the thing watching him perhaps could learn/know about what he was truly thinking. It’s. Exactly what we listeners are doing. We’re the voyeurs. And we’ve made him feel Uncomfortable since the beginning. GREAT.

(Yeah, this post got insanely long, I’m hooked, I’m in pain, I hate everything, and I’m consuming the series like precious sweets. Or have been so far; I want to have caught up by the end of the hiatus but it looks like an impossible task if I keep trying to review it, and I Don’t Know How To Deal With Concision :| So I’ll ~see~. I’m laughing at myself for having thought that hey, Cass! if you take notes and everything, you won’t need to relisten to this! Thanks past!self, nearpast!self already relistened to everything a few times anyway, and present!self is planning to relisten to this series a lot anyway, YOU THOUGHT you wouldn’t like the series enough to do it and you were Wrong. So anyway. IT’S AN AMAZING SERIES, I LOVE IT SO MUCH??? And I know there's a lot of even better stuff to come???)

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

I found a WIP post about 11x07 in the depths of my laptop, I’ll copy&paste it here so I won’t feel bad about deleting the file :p

Have a look if you want to be astral projected back into November 2015, I guess?

Man on TV: This is their second drive in overtime, with both teams having possessed the ball. The next score wins.

This is their second round at the Apocalypse, this time in the era after the Kripke one.

Both teams have had sexual relations with Dean Winchester.

The next person that will get Dean’s heart will win him. There will be Amara trying to get Dean, but the person that will “score” is Cas, clearly. Also see the double meaning of score *sly face*.

Man: Every play becomes…

What’s the endgame?

Oh!

[ Sighs ]

We aren’t going to get the endgame any soon. (well, it’s called endgame for a reason.)

Man: 1st and 10 from the 32-yard line. 8:21 in O.T…

I don’t know how this game works lol so I don't know if there’s some specific meaning to this line. What I know is that 1 - 10 - 3 - 2: either 1x10 Asylum and 3x02 The Kids Are Alright, or 1x03 Dead In Water and 10x02 Reichenbach. In the first case, we’re talking about an episode where Dean and Sam aren’t “alright”, they are not in a good moment of their relationship, and well, literally an episode called “the kids aren't alright’, aka Dean and Sam have something wrong with them right now. In the second case, we have two episodes dealing with death, water (sea/ocean symbology?) and falling (or better, jumping yourself) and corruption of soul.

8x21 is The Great Escapist. Dean is escaping, he’s playing dead like a possum, he’s telling Sam to just ignore the visions and do nothing, he’s the one fear makes do nothing. But it’s over the time to do nothing, it’s too late, they’re in too deep. (“What do you wanna do? Sit back? Ignore him? Do nothing?” “No, that's — that's not what I'm saying.” aka yes, that’s what he’s saying…)

Stan! Can you take out the trash?

Winchester brothers! Can you take the toxic elements out of your relationship and your lives?

[ Sighs ]

He is running left. Ohh! He gets…

Dean is running to the devil’s side, aka the gay side! Ohh! He gets [angel cake *cough*]

Stinks to high heaven.

Speaking of angel cake, he’s not really an angel anymore, because he doesn’t belong to heaven. Heaven stinks.

[ Lowered voice ] It's your cooking that stinks.

No Castiel, it’s your Dean Winchester that is just a mud monkey.

[ Dish thuds ] What was that, honey?

What did you say about Dean? *goes in ‘flower meme’ mode*

Nothing, dear.

Ehm, nothing, nothing, Castiel. *sweats nervously*

2nd and…

Who’s on second? What is second?

The game's in O.T., can't it wait?

We’re already in season 11, but the endgame still isn't close. We’re getting at least a season 12 I guess.

...backs him into center, slowly defends...

Dean is backing to the center, he tries to defend himself, but the “defensive center” is the clear area at the center of the smoke.

[ Speaks indistinctly ] [ Sighs ] [ Grunting ] [ Crowd cheering ] [ Groans ] [ Men speaking indistinctly ] [ Door creaks ] [ Men continue speaking indistinctly ] [ Door creaks ] [ Rattling and clinking ] [ Lid bangs ] [ Dog barking in distance ] [ Rattling and clinking ] [ Door creaks open ]

Hey, hon, bring me another brewski.

Rude. Cas goes getting the brewskis himself.

[ Door closes ] [ Refrigerator door opens, bottles clink ] [ Refrigerator door closes ]

He's flushed out of the pocket.

I don’t know what this means lol. Is it something about getting sent out from the field or something? Is it Cas, that is now currently away from the bunker, or Dean, who’s “flushing” himself out of the battlefield?

Hey, thanks, babe.

Who brings you a brewski is you babe.

He's got a man open…

Cas has made Dean open up. It’s also a pun about stabbing the guy, I know, which is also a pun for ～stabbing a guy～… I mean, I guess “get a man open” has different meanings…)

[ Gasps ]

Throws… And it's caught by… [ Cheering, whistle blows ]

Dean throws himself to damnation, but he gets caught by Cas — every time.

[ Glass shatters ]

Uhh! Don't need possum traps, huh?

The possum is Dean, and apparently someone believes there’s no need to trap him, although the lady thinks so. The lady is Dean here I guess, the one that takes out the trash, albeit reluctantly, but who doesn’t trust himself and prefers to “do nothing”, keep himself in check, “trap” himself in a corner. Or the lady is Sam, trying to take out the trash, but who deep down doesn’t trust Dean, thinks he should be kept in check, or will think Dean should be kept in check after he finds out about his “bond” with Amara.

[ Lid bangs, glass clinks ] [ Screaming ] [ Squishing ] [ Groaning ] [ Screams ]

————

So, uh… on the off chance that you're actually listening, uh…  Uh, I gotta be real honest. The visions aren't making a whole lot of sense to me. Truth is… I don't know what's what. Please. [ Exhales sharply ] What are you trying to say? [ Exhales ]

I don’t know you, but I find this hilarious. “Send me a message please” *gets incomprehensible message* “What the fuck god”

Really? I mean, really?

I think Dean is scared of Sam contacting God. God is the John Winchester on a macroscopic level, and he makes Dean uneasy. When you need his help, he doesn’t show. You’re dying and you call him for help, he doesn’t show, and you have to save your life yourself. You’re upset and afraid and he doesn’t even drop a word, and you have to face your fears alone. Dean feels abandoned and betrayed by God just like he felt abandoned and betrayed by John, except John did show up now and then and upset Dean, while God never shows up and that allows Dean to talk badly of him, because he feels safe to do so. He didn’t feel safe criticizing John, of course, because John might have been absent when Dean would need his help, but he’d always be present when it came to mistreat Dean. And Dean is afraid that if God shows up, it’ll be the same — God will punish him, humiliate him, force him to be someone else than he really is and do something he doesn’t really want to do.

You ever hear of privacy?

Sam feels more and more suffocated by Dean’s presence. He feels like the bunker is too small for the two of them, so to speak. He’s always lived in a car or in motel rooms with no privacy at all, now he’s been dangled the piece of meat in front of his face, and now he’s gotten… fond of privacy. He’s been craving privacy for his whole life, and now that he can have it, he’s quite “possessive” of it.

Hey, you want privacy, close your door.

@domlerrys and I laughed at this because we’d just commented the same thing right before Dean said it himself.

It’s not a good thing for their relationship in the short term, but a good thing in the long term. Closing the door means isolating yourself from the other, which is not a good thing to do now that they’re neck deep in huge problems (both external and of communication between the two of them), but it’ll be a good thing eventually because they need to stop being “conjoined twins” and live their own autonomous lives.

Thought we talked about this.

Dean, you talked to Sam about this. Sam has no intention of believing you, and will continue believing the visions are coming from God… until it’ll be too late and he’ll pay the price of his ingenuity.

Yeah, we did, Dean. But why is it so hard to believe that God could be sending me visions about the darkness?

Because the visions are not about the Darkness in the slightest and you know it, dumbass. But at the end of the episode Sam admits it to Dean — the visions are about the Cage, not the Darkness.

You kidding me? He didn't feel the need to show up for the Apocalypse. Why would he give a crap now?

“Dad didn’t show up when we were working that case in Lawrence, he didn’t show up when I was dying of heart failure, he didn’t show up so many times when we needed him. God is the same, Sammy. I know a thing or two about absent fathers.”

There’s also a Destiel element — Dean feels strongly that God is like John because he and Cas first bonded deeply over absent fathers, thus the connection between their fathers that has formed in Dean’s mind.

I don't know. Maybe because she's his sister? What do you wanna do? Sit back? Ignore him? Do nothing?

Well, that’s exactly what Dean is doing. The episode later tells us that it’s because fear is paralyzing him, but I think it’s not just about that. Dean has a keen sense of self-preservation — apparently that happens when you’re abused as a kid — and it only looks like he hasn’t because he fights against them because he cares too much about others and always puts others first. The first episodes of season 10 showed this quite clearly — when he was a demon and he didn’t care about others, his self-preservation instincts ran free and he even tried to kill Sam to protect himself from getting pulled into the “family business” again.

No, that's — that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, don't count on God. Okay? Count on us.

I suspect Dean is highly right here…

Right. Oh, this is everything Cas dug up in Gaza, every last bit of pre-biblical lore.

“Where do we put Cas now that the brothers are in the bunker? We can’t stick him in front of the tv set, because if Dean is present he doesn’t stare at a screen, he stares at Dean.” “Let’s have him help from outside of the bunker.” “Why would he? The lore is inside the bunker.” “Then let’s have him seek out further lore… directly from the source!” It makes sense. And it is useful to explain why Cas isn't around for more than one episode — he’s traveling the world doing research. And since he doesn’t have functioning wings, he can’t just make a quick detour like he did to Jerusalem in Free to Be You and Me. He needs to take planes. I believe there’s no doubt about it, he’s traveling human-style.

Hmm.

Half of it I couldn't read. It's in Aramaic. And the other half… [ Cell phone rings ] Nada. [ Ring ] Not a single mention of the darkness, so… [ Ring ]

Miscommunication happens because Sam and Dean are speaking different languages, metaphorically speaking. And even when they speak the same language… still nada, like when Sam confesses the visions are about the Cage — Dean shuts him off because he’s too scared to deal with what Sam has just told him.

Well, I'll be damned. [ Cell phone beeps ] Huh? Donna, what's shakin’?

[ Lowered voice ] Fat sucker Donna?

Dean is much closer to Donna than Sam is, although Dean hasn’t really spent more time with her than Sam has. But Dean has connected with her deeply, while Sam hasn’t, because Donna is female Dean, pretty much.

What do you mean “Killer bunny”?

[freedom-shamrock]

Jingle My Bell

Happiest of holidays to @rescue-satellite!  I’m your @mlsecretsanta secret Santa and I have some love squarish fluff for you Also posted to AO3 if that’s easier for reading.

"Evening M'lady," Chat said, landing lightly on their designated rooftop for the evening.  He caught her hand as he bowed, dropping a light kiss on her knuckles as he gazed up at her through his lashes, still coated with mascara from today's shoot, he realized.  

A hint of pink kissed her cheeks and she smiled at him.  It was only recently that she'd stopped passing his more overt affection off, and he rather liked the change.  The blushing was new, too.

"Good evening to you my Kitten."  She reached out and tapped the bell at his neck, making it ring.

He grinned.  "Bug, you totally ring my bell."

For some reason, she found this absolutely hilarious, and her laugh devolved into snorts that sounded oddly familiar.  "Yeah," she said, when she could finally talk around the giggles.  "Well you knock my spots off."

It was always nice when she was in a playful, punny mood, and now that he thought about it, that had been her tendency the last few months.  He couldn't chalk it up to anything specific.  They'd been partners for nearly four years.  Their team expanded about three years ago, which took some of the pressure off, but she was still the most intense and serious of them.  They'd all grown up a bit, sometimes as a result of horrible experiences fighting Hawk Moth's increasingly violent monsters of the week.

"You're happy," he said, leaning onto his staff and relaxing.  "It makes me happy."

The blush was back and she tried to look away before he could see it.  It didn't work, of course.  His night vision was too good.  "It's Christmas," she said.  "While I could do without being cold, I really love this time of year.  It's always seemed magical, even before I learned magic was real."

Chat Noir nodded.  His Christmases had been decidedly less magical in the last five or six years, but becoming a superhero and going to school helped make that a little less of a downer.  "I have your gift," he said, wiggling his fingers.  "Would you like it now, or are we going to run first."

She reached out and gently booped his nose.  "You're going to have to work a bit to find your real gift," she said.  Her other hand held out a small white box tied closed with a green ribbon.

He plucked the box from her hand.  "What's this, then?" he asked.

"Your first clue," she said, alternately bending and straightening her knees in a way that made her whole body wiggle.  How could she go from sexy to adorable like that?  She was giving him whiplash.

"My.  First.  Clue," he said slowly.  He shook the box, surprised to hear a muted jingling within.  He raised an eyebrow at her.

Giggling again, she leaned forward and dropped a loop of braided black yarn loosely about his neck.  It hung to the center of his chest and there were a number of shiny silver rings embedded in the braid.  "This will make it easier for you to collect all the clues."

He looked over the rings, not bothering to count them just now.  "That's a lot of clues, My Lady."

"The last clue will direct you to your real present."  She straightened up, clearly very pleased with all of this.

"Did you do this with your gifts for everyone else?" he asked, suspecting she hadn't, but wanting to be sure.

Ladybug shook her head.  "Of course not."  She shrugged.  "They're wonderful.  But they aren't you.  You deserve special treatment, and… I thought maybe you could benefit from a little fun this time of year."

"You know me too well," he teased.

"No," she said quietly.  "But I hope to know you better."

"I have a gift for you, too," he said.  "But I didn't bring it tonight."

She lightly booped his nose again.  "If your clues take you close to home, you can pick it up and bring it at the end.  Or we can meet another time."

"You're not coming with me?" he asked, puzzled.

"Nope.  I have to get things ready at the end."  She leaned in to whisper, "but you're a clever kitty, and I'm sure I'll see you soon.  Happy hunting!"  She spun away, her bandalore already soaring into the air.

Chat Noir watched her depart.  Any opportunity to watch His Lady was a good opportunity, really.  Once she was gone, he tugged carefully at the ribbon with his claws.  Inside the box he found a replica of his bell, roughly have the size.  It hung from a loop of red yarn and was adorned with a green bow that matched the ribbon he'd just untied.  When he held it up, he could see red embroidery on the ribbon's tails.

#1 Where I first fell for you

His sweet Bug was sending him on a scavenger hunt to find bells, and this was his clue.  He grinned and tied the first clue to one of the rings on the braid she'd draped over him.  Where she first fell for him?  Since he wasn't entirely sure she really had fallen for him, it must be a joke.  An idea sparked in his mind, and he scrambled across the rooftop, eager to reach the place where they'd first met.

Hanging from the top curve of a lightpost where Ladybug had first crashed into his life, he saw a glint of bronze.  A controlled ascent with his staff allowed him to quickly confirm it was another bell.  This one with green yarn and a doubled red ribbon with four tails.

#2 I was ready to give up You inspired me to stay Ladybug

Warmth blossomed in his chest.  They'd been partners for two years before she told him about this.  It had been during their first akuma, after they'd made mistakes.  She'd not been confident in her ability to truly be a superhero and planned to give up the earrings.  But something he said as they stood facing the anger of the police, with Hawk Moth at their backs lit a spark in her.  They were close friends by the time she shared this, and she'd picked a time when he'd lacked confidence in himself.

He happily pounced and bounded over to Trocadero.  He made sure to approach from the side where the police were lined up.  Sure enough, up on another lightpost, hung another bell, again with a green ribbon.  HIs Bug had a pattern.

#3 Pigeons are nothing to sneeze at unless you're a green-eyed blond with allergies

He laughed.  Mr. Pigeon was still one of the silliest and creepiest akuma.  He tried the park first, where they'd had their first stakeout.  Nothing there.  So he headed off to Grand Palais, where the final fight had taken place.

Getting in through the roof was easy for a superhero, and after a few moments his keen sight caught a glint of the bell hanging from the filigreed arch over the Great Staircase.

#4 In stormy weather I realized I will trust you to guide me, always

He tied the bell next to the others, all on one side of the braid.  It made for an odd necklace, and it slipped bell-heavy side down.  She was focusing on their early akumas, and this one was at the TV station.

He didn't find anything on the roof, and he rethought the clue.  She'd trusted him to guide her… oh.  He could see in the dark.  He once again found easy access from the roof, which took him right into the stairwell.  They'd had several chases through here, and he wondered why she'd picked this particular one.  Something about the line on that third tail stuck out to him.  This suddenly felt like she was making a point.

Down a few landings, he found it tied to the railing.  Glancing up and down, he smiled.  This was very likely the landing where she initially thought she'd be fine on her own, reconsidered, and let him take the lead.

He untied the red yarn and looked at the ribbon's three tails.

#5 I'm so sorry I scared you but I learned something important you give the best hugs

That one was easy.  He still had nightmares about her leaping into the mouth of a tyrannosaurus rex.  Sure, she'd done even scarier things since, but there was extra terror that first time.

The bell hung from one of the upper branches of one of the small trees across from Marinette's family's bakery.  The storefront was dark, and when he looked up, the only light came from her bedroom.  He smiled.  She was probably up late designing something amazing.  For a black cat, he was actually incredibly fortunate to be blessed by two such amazing women in his life.  While neither seemed romantically interested in him, their friendships were too important to risk pushing for something else.

#6 You've scared me, too. I still have nightmares where you vanish and I can't bring you back

Ouch.  That stung a bit.  But at the same time, it really spoke of how much she cared for him.  During the fight with Timebreaker he'd been so focused on the ridiculous joy of having two Ladybugs at his side, and to be fair, they'd featured strongly in a few of his fantasies.  But later… he'd remembered what it felt like to have his life force sucked out of him.  He'd ceased to exist, effectively died.  With time, and help from Plagg, of all people, he'd stopped having panic attacks every time he saw inline skates.

He made his way back to Trocadero, the other side of the tower this time.

#7 While some may try the best they can do is mimic I will always know which cat is mine

She'd never been duped by Copycat.  Though she'd asked questions to be certain, he'd always suspected that was more of a diversion than a real need.  The fact that she'd known he wasn't the thief when his doppelganger strolled in to steal the Mona Lisa meant the world to him.  That she chewed out the police over it still made him happy.

The Louvre was closed, and he wasn't ready to risk their security system, so he started out at Theo's studio.  Just outside, he found the next bell.

#8 You're an excellent gamer almost as good as me With your Catouken and my Tatsukitty we'll be an unbeatable team

He'd been surprised how well she could drive the mech.  It was like she'd been born to do it.  The next bell wasn't in the park where he'd rescued Marinette and met up with Ladybug.  He traveled their path from the battle as best he could from memory, eventually ending up at Parc des Princes.  The bell was dwarfed and tough to spot, hanging from the roof ring between two pennants.

He waited to read the clue until he was up on the roof.

#9 It may not have been memorable but it was my first kiss, too

He'd found out about the kiss later.  It had been bad enough that he'd been turned against his Lady on Valentine's Day, that he'd tried to use Cataclysm on her.  He shuddered.  But then to find out she'd cured him with a kiss?  And he didn't remember.  He wondered why she hadn't tried that technique for getting him out from under akuma control since?  Though to be fair, he'd learned to shake it off in the last year and a half.

The ribbon had four tails, but only two were embroidered.  As he ran his fingertips over them, he realized she'd used green thread for almost hidden embroidery on the other two tails.  He tilted them a bit.

I'm willing to try again if you're interested

He stared at the green ribbon, his eyes wide and an almost painfully huge smile on his face.  Apparently he'd been mistaken about his Lady's feelings toward him.

He laughed as he practically danced across rooftops on his way to the fountain, where he was certain the next clue waited.

#10 I'm sure you've realized I'm not 5000 years old We were born within months of each other

His breath caught as he read this one.  The last two lines were a little worrisome.  They roughly knew each other's birthdays, down to about a week.  But this… this was less about the day and more about the year, which really, neither of them should know.  Sure, he suspected she was around his age, but her words were so certain.

He took a breath and focused on the rest of it, trying to find the clue.  The only way he was going to get answers was if he followed this through.

It came back now.  The history book and the Egyptian exhibit.  Apparently the Louvre was still an option.  Fortunately, the bell was perched on the top of the glass pyramid, easy enough for him to get to.

#11 Your puns are no knightmare my father will wish to match wits But they may stand out when spoken by the other you

Again, this one suggested knowledge of him that she shouldn't have.  He didn't pun as often as Adrien, but it wasn't like he avoided it completely.  Nino and Marinette loved his sense of humor, though Alya merely put up with it and Chloe groaned in objection noting it was his one flaw.  Apparently Ladybug's father was keen on wordplay as well, and he wondered if he dared hope he was going to get to meet him.  Someday.  Soonish.

This clue took a little more time to work out, since it seemed to be isolated to the first line.  He was also not doing his best thinking now that it seemed his Lady knew who he was and might be willing to consider kisses.

The bell hung from the flagpole at city hall, and it was his third guess that took him there.

#12 You had a chance to see me But respected my wishes I know how hard it was to close that door

This one he knew right away.  He closed his eyes and recalled how it had felt.  Facing Alya as an Akuma had been hard, and of course she was brutally tough.  At the end, Ladybug dashed into a closet to hide when her miraculous timed out.  He was sure she'd meant to fully close the door, but it hadn't latched.  Reaching for the lever, he was struck by the strongest temptation to pull the door open.  To dart in after her.

Instead, he'd respected her words.  She'd share her identity when she was ready, and he could wait.  It had been hard to push the door closed and leave.  And she'd known and understood that made him understand better that it wasn't so much about what she'd wanted to do.  She just wanted to keep them safe.  To protect their families and friends.

He made his way to Le Grand Paris.  Fortunately he was a familiar enough face, that his arrival was not unusual.  Apparently Ladybug had spoken with the front desk staff, so they were also expecting him.  They smirked and wished him luck.

The bell hung on the lever to the very closet Ladybug had used.  It was the last one he had room for on the increasingly jingly necklace he was wearing.

#13 Visit your princess for your favorite pastries And receive the only gift worthy enough for you

Princess and pastry.  That was obviously Marinette.  He'd always had a vague suspicion that Ladybug knew Marinette, and apparently she'd left hisgift with his good friend.  He wondered what gift she could possibly be referencing.  Seriously, pastries and her time were all he wanted.  Okay, so maybe he wanted cuddles and kisses, too, but he had to be realistic here.  Maybe she'd commissioned Mari to make him something.  That would be awesome.  Marinette made the best clothes.

With jolting footstep and every leap, the bells over his chest rang and clashed together.  He rather thought he sounded like a whole team of reindeer all on his own.  Before long he'd reached Marinette's balcony.  Her fairy lights had been joined with decorations of holly and ivy made out of fabric.  The effect was festive and cheery.  Over her skylight a banner had been hung.  Red and green ribbons had been cut and sewn to spell out "Kitty Door."

Grinning at the clear invitation, he reached down and lifted the plexiglas cover.  "Hello, Princess?" he called softly.  It was late at this point, probably past midnight, and he worried about waking her or her parents.

Marinette popped out from under her bed and beamed up at him.  She was wearing black and green fleece pajamas.  "Chat Noir," she called happily.  "Come in.  I was beginning to worry."

Careful not to drag his feet over her bedding, he dropped in and came down the ladder.  Her room looked so different, which was strange since he'd been over just a few days ago after school.  The lighting was low and soothing and more red and green decorations adorned her walls.  In front of her chaise, she'd set up a small table with a plate of the bakery's best treats, in his opinion, and two steaming mugs of cocoa.

"Hmmm," he said, taking in the snacks.  "You must have had some warning for those to be hot."

She grinned, totally smug.  She was up to something.  She and his Lady loved elaborate surprises.  "Please have a seat."

He sat down at the table.  "And will Ladybug be joining us this evening?"

She giggled.  "You could say that."  She sat beside him offering him a plate.  When he took it, her hand reached out and ran over the bells he'd collected.  "It looks like you found all of them."

"All thirteen," he agreed.

"Were they too hard?  Too easy?"

"Just right," he said quickly.  How much had Marinette been involved in this project.  Now that he was thinking about it, the embroidery looked like her work.  "They reminded me of a lot of important moments."

"Did you have fun hunting for them?" she asked, smirking over the brim of her mug.

"You're mighty pleased with yourself this evening, Princess," he said.  "You're toying with me."

She giggled again, a sound she'd heard a lot this evening.  "I've learned from the best."  She set down her mug.  "But I'll stop now.  Just tell me what you're here for.  What did the last clue say?" she prompted.

"It told me to visit you for pastries and a gift," he replied, feeling a bit like playing with her now.

"What kind of gift?"  She spoke as if wondering aloud, her fingers drumming on her chin.

Chat Noir shrugged, making his bells jingle.  "I have no idea, though it sounded pretty impressive."

"Ah, yes," Marinette agreed.  She leaned forward to reach under the chaise.  She came up with a stiff green piece of paper in one hand and a gift bow in the other.  She looked at the bow for a moment before slapping it on top of her head while holding out the paper.  "Here's the tag."

He stared at her, puzzled for a moment before reaching for the oversized tag.

To: Chatdrien With love from: Maribug

He gasped, his breath wheezing in audibly.  His eyes flicked back up to her face.

"Hi Kitten."  She waved at him.  A little red being, smaller than Plagg, but clearly a kwami zipped out from hiding and landed on her shoulder, beaming at him with big blue eyes that matched his Lady's.  Marinette's.

He pointed at her for a moment, waiting for his mouth to come back on line.  Marinette was his Lady.  She was his precious Bug and she'd just revealed herself to him and…  "You… you know!" he blurted.

Her hand reached out for his cheek.  "I do."

"Is that why you…"  She cut him off with a shake of her head.

"I've known for a while."  She glanced away.  "I probably should have told you, but…"  She sighed.  "I'm sorry.  It wasn't right of me."

"You've nothing to apologize for," he said.  "God I'm dense.  I can't believe I didn't see you."  He caught both her hands in his.

"It was miraculous magic, actually," her kwami assured him.  

"It's just… there were too many coincidences and the glamour… for lack of a better word, broke."  Marinette shrugged.  "This is Tikki."  She scooped up her kwami and held her out toward him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Tikki," he said, hoping she could see that he meant it.

Tikki let out a high giggle. "You're such a sweetie, Chat Noir.  You might be my favorite of Plagg's kittens yet."  She dropped down to a small cushion he hadn't noticed on the table, and picked up a macaron.

"You didn't tell me because you felt guilty, did you?"  That would rank near the top for awful reveals.

"Absolutely not."  Her voice was firm.  "I wanted to get you something you really deserved, something you wanted and needed, but… nothing was good enough.  You've always wanted to know who I am.  Without the masks in the way, maybe I can take care of you like you deserve."  Her cheeks went a delightful pink.  "I know you like me as a friend, and Ladybug as a bit more than that."

He snorted.  "I like all of you a whole lot more than that."  He ran one claw over his bells until he found the ninth one.  "This one turned me into a puddle of sheer joy on the roof of Parc des Princes."  He leaned in to press his forehead to hers.  "The sheer idea that you might be open to a real kiss, made me completely stupid."

She sighed, looking relieved.  "Yeah, well it's only fair.  You and your…"  She leaned back and waved at him with both hands.  "Everything, make me a mess.  You have no idea."

He let out a laugh, suddenly more happy than he'd been at any point in his life that he could recall.

"I know you're home alone for Christmas tomorrow," she said, reaching under the chaise again.  "How about you detransform and put on these nice jammies I made you."  She dropped a pile of black and red fleece in his lap.  "You're staying over.  It's a Dupain-Cheng family Christmas for you," she said firmly.

He gawked at her.  "R-really?"  He held up the pajamas, Ladybug themed to match her Chat Noir set.  He glanced at the shirt hem and, sure enough, found her sneaky little signature.  "Won't your parents find it odd to wake up and find me here?"

"Marinette told her parents you were going to be alone," Tikki said.  "They practically demanded that she invite you over."

Marinette's smile went shy.  "I was hoping tonight would go well, and you'd be happy enough with your present that you'd want to stay."

"I love my present," he said softly.  "I'm keeping it forever."

[overthinkingkdrama]

I'm the kind of person who doesn't write a thing about what I'm watching, but, I have to say I love Money Flower, and I love every post you make about it. You're not alone (?) ;) As a spoiler but something I have to say, I'm dying with Boo Cheon going badly, and it hurts that what finally crack him was Pil Joo's betrayal. Jang Hyuk's final face was too much :v

Thanks for dropping by to throw some gasoline onto the fires of my own personal hell, anon. I think I spent 3 hours ranting to my BFF about this exact subject yesterday. I was trying to organize my thoughts to write a post about it but I couldn’t. I feel ya. Oh yea, you and I are in the same boat.

In all seriousness, I love it when I get anonymous message that give me an excuse to write about something I was already privately ranty about. So thank you, lol.

[Fair warning…I went HAM on my reply. Sorry?? Huge spoilers for the show past this point, y’all.]

It was hard watching my three crazy kids fall apart this week. Especially Boo. The turn his character took this week broke my damn heart. Full disclosure: Boo Cheon is my favorite character in this garbage fire of a show. Has been for weeks now. I feel like I’m pretty much alone in that opinion. My mind twin, agaggleoffandoms (for whatever reason tumblr is refusing to let me @ her) and I are on the same page, but for the most part people seem to really hate Boo. I don’t get it. I can’t wrap my head around how you could love and root for Pil Joo in this whole thing, and yet have no sympathy for Boo Cheon whatsoever. Like, I get it, but I really don’t get it.

Okay, so, I think Kang Pil Joo is actually Satan himself and this is why…

First, let me disclaim and say that I like Pil Joo as a character. I like him a lot. I like the way Jang Hyuk is playing him. I like his scenes. I like him because he’s twisted and terrifying. I like what a manipulative monster he is. I went into the drama expecting it and I was not disappointed at all. He’s every bit the sociopathic puppet master the poster promised me. I watch this show because it’s a crazy-sauce makjang mess. I enjoy the characters because of how insurmountably dysfunctional they are.

Additionally, this isn’t supposed to be a post to justify Boo’s actions, or claims that he’s done nothing wrong. Clearly that’s not the case. I’m just trying to understand the audience’s reaction to him. Why I find myself rooting for him so much, and other people have no time for him at all.

The first thing Boo Cheon does at the beginning of episode 17 is threaten the mother of his child making it clear in no uncertain terms that if she goes through with the press conference and torpedo’s his chances to be chairman she’s as good as dead. That’s monstrous. I make no bones about that. I would just argue that Boo is merely the monster that Pil Joo has made of him.

If we’re going to completely jettison the possibility of Boo’s redemption arc based on that scene, Pil Joo shouldn’t be getting a pass. In the moral landscape of the show, Pil Joo has done everything Boo has done, but three shades darker.

Pil Joo has personally laid hands on Seo Won not once…

But two separate times….

He has also directly threatened her life on multiple occasions. He’s the Jang family fixer. We know how dirty his hands can get. The show has shown us. And we can argue all day long that Pil Joo never would have actually harmed her. That he was trying to put the fear of god into her because he was also a victim of Jang family violence toward mistresses and their unacknowledged children…but does that justify it? Boo has also on multiple occasions attempted to remove her from the situation, and taken steps to protect her from his family by bringing their son to Mooshimwon. Seo Won is either too foolhardy or too determined to take the hint. She revealed herself to Mo Hyun with malicious intent and became indirectly responsible for the loss of his unborn child.

He goes to the hotel room to meet Seo Won because Pil Joo sent him there. He threatens her with a knife–Pil Joo’s knife interestingly enough–making good on his promise not to let anyone stand between him and the chairman position. Why does he even want the chairman position? Because that’s what Pil Joo groomed him to want:

Sure, Boo has said that he wanted to become chairman for his own reasons now. He is motivated to succeed so that Mo Hyun will praise him and feel proud of him. He’s motivated to do it because he’s developed a real affection for his wife. He loves her enough to feel jealous over the prospect of losing her, to go head to head with his mother over her, and even to put his own life at risk for her. Why is he even married to Mo Hyun? Because of Pil Joo’s manipulations.

Everyone is in the position they’re in because of Pil Joo’s manipulations. Look at what he’s done to Mo Hyun! He lied repeatedly, fed Boo lines, write apology letters for him, engineered situations to further the seduction plot for his own personal benefit. He has continually withheld crucial information from her in order to control her actions. Because it all forwards his revenge plot.

Furthermore, he resents Mo Hyun for falling in love with Boo according to his own plot.

This is a pattern we have seen repeatedly. Since as early as episode 4:

Pil Joo blames other people for falling into his traps. He doesn’t take responsibility himself. He is “unable to stop himself” so they have to be the ones to resist him. He merely writes the scripts, he sets up the pieces, but if you fall for his tricks then it’s your own fault. That’s the attitude we’ve seen again and again.

And sure, he’s in denial. He obviously still has feelings for Mo Hyun. But those feelings have always been subordinate to his need for revenge, and continue to be sacrificed in the name of his goals. Along with the people around him, their lives and their happiness. Whether they deserve it or not. Everyone is expendable in the name of revenge.

He sets Mo Hyun up to hear the ugly truth about their deception and her arranged marriage as though he’s about to tell her everything, but then he only tells her enough to break her and drive her away from Mooshimwon. He didn’t even tell her why he, the real Jang Eun Cheon, is hiding his identity and staying in that family. He didn’t tell her why he was doing what he was doing. He didn’t explain why he became the Jang family dog. He only told her enough to devastate her and driver her away. Let me repeat that: he didn’t even tell her the whole truth. His whole “confession” was just another one of his manipulations!

This has nothing to do with making a clean breast of it with Mo Hyun, and everything to do with the revenge plot. Pil Joo isn’t a martyr. He’s a monster.

Immediately after the confession, where is he? Planning his take over of Cheong A. He doesn’t even take a breath to recover. He immediately asks Yong Goo to go over the final leg of the plan with him:

After intentionally breaking Mo Hyun’s spirit and wrecking his supposed “friend’s” sham marriage of his own design, Pil Joo is right back on his slash and burn war path toward the utter destruction of Cheong A. We may want to attribute all these suppressed emotions and noble feelings to Pil Joo to try to mollify his guilt in some way. His mysterious friend/helper Yong Goo sure seems to want to. But you know what kind of person consistently suppresses their better feelings in the name of goal oriented, ends-justify-the-means pragmatism?

A cold blooded, sociopath. Which is what Pil Joo is.

By contrast, where do we find Boo after he threatens to kill the mother of his child in the name of his goals? Sobbing like a child in his car:

Where is he after his wife’s very understandable mental breakdown upon find out that the last five years of her life have been one long series of lies and manipulations orchestrated by and large by the man she loves? Watching over her as she sleeps.

Of the two of them, Boo is the one most visibly shaken and horrified by his actions. And it’s honestly a wonder that Boo isn’t more messed up than he is, morally speaking. Considering that he’s been physically and emotionally abused by his terrifying mother and manipulative friend for the past 20 years.

Oh yeah, remember how Pil Joo frequently uses violence with him when Boo doesn’t do what he’s supposed to do?

Boo still has a soul and is capable of feeling things like remorse and betrayal. Like the desire to protect his son.

While I feel terrible for Mo Hyun, because her life has been utterly and undeservedly wrecked by these people, I think she’s capable of recovery. After all, she already suspected what kind of people lived a Mooshimwon. She has had multiple indications of what kind of situation she is willingly placing herself in. Boo is coping with the shock that everything he believed about his life for almost 20 years is a lie. His sense of identity has been shaken–everything he’s wanted, everything he’s ever attained is part of this lie. He was forced into an arranged marriage that he didn’t even want at the time and now that he truly loves his wife, she’s calling out Pil Joo’s name in her sleep! He just found out that his only friend has never been sincere with him. Rather, he approached him maliciously with the intention of ruining his family and taking his place. Not only that, he’s found out that he’s not even the biological son of the father that he idolizes. Pil Joo is the true heir, here to take everything away he’s ever taught Boo to want.

Anybody would crack up in these circumstances. And he can’t even talk to anyone about it. He can’t tell his mother or confide in wife or the person who was supposed to be his best friend. He ends up going to his unacknowledged father (I think he knows, or at least strongly suspects who Driver Oh is) to vent some of his grief.

He talks about the truth of Pil Joo’s deception being enough to kill Mal Ran if she was to ever find out. But I think the same scene can be taken a different way. He doesn’t want his mom to find out the truth, because he doesn’t want her to feel the way he feels right now. Like he might die from it. Because Boo really loved Pil Joo, damn it! If we can say nothing else about Boo Cheon, we have to at least give him that.

Even if they intend to make Boo the antagonist from this point until the end of the drama, I just can’t bring myself to hate him. He’s too pitiful. Sure, he’s weak and selfish and entitled. But he is what he was conditioned to be from a very young age. His mother has treated him like an incompetent disappointment and Pil Joo has turned him into a puppet. If things had played out different, who knows where he would be right now? If not for Pil Joo’s interference, who knows what kind of person he could have become?

One big thing that the shooting range scene demonstrates (besides the fact that Boo has officially been driven around the bend) is that when he isn’t comparing himself to or being hopelessly dependent on Pil Joo, he can actually perform very well.

As much as I despise his cousin, I think Yeo Cheon was right about something:

Anyway…that’s why I can’t help but root for and feel sorry for Boo. I hope that he’s not past the point of no return. And I’m still waiting for Pil Joo to recognize the fact that a) Boo is a victim of this corrupt family as much as he is himself and b) he doesn’t have the right to manipulate and destroy other people’s lives like some kind of vengeful god. Even when the deserve it.

If it’s not evident from what I’ve written above: I really, really like this show. It’s mad entertaining, and the character arcs are as complex as they are tragic. I am still hoping for Pil Joo’s redemption, I think the man is utterly fascinating. I don’t see this train wreck having a happy ending. But I’m still waiting for Pil Joo and Boo to actually have it out about Pil Joo’s lies before someone gets shot or stabbed. I want to believe, even at this point, that Pil Joo really did come to care for Boo. Even if he started out hating him, I can’t believe all he feels for Boo is hate, anymore than I believe he really put a stop to his feelings for Mo Hyun. Forgiveness might not be possible at this point, but at the very least I’m hoping for closure. A lot can happen in 6 hours, so lets keep our fingers crossed.

Anyway, those are my TL;DR feelings about Money Flower. Raw and  unabridged. Thanks for your patience while I worked on your ask, and thanks for sticking with me if you read this far. Goodnight, my lovely followers. You’re all so beautiful.

Jona

[lauramalchowblog]

Understanding #Medicare4All & the Democratic Primaries

By MATTHEW HOLT

Since Saturday’s Nevada primaries, confusion seems to be reigning about how Bernie Sanders seems to be winning. Time (and not a lot more of it) will tell who actually ends up as the Democratic nominee. But the progressive side (Bernie + Warren) is doing much better than the moderate side (Biden/Butt-edge-edge/Klobuchar) expected, while we wait to see how the  Republican side of the Democratic primary (Bloomberg) does in an actual vote. The key here is the main policy differential between the two sides, Medicare For All.

Don’t get too hung up in the details of the individual plans, especially as revealing said details may have hurt Elizabeth Warren. But do remember that there is one big difference between Sanders/Warren and the moderates. It comes down to whether everyone is in the same state-run single payer system (a modified and expanded version of Medicare) or whether the private employer system is left as it is, with expanded access to something that looks like Medicare (the public option) for everyone else. Note that no Democrat wants to stand pat on Obamacare “as is”. Everyone is way to the left of what Obama ran on in 2008 (or at least what he settled for in early 2009).

Why has this changed? Well there’s been a decade of horror stories. I’m not talking about the BS anti-Obamacare stories from people forced to give up their junk insurance, I’m talking about people with insurance being bankrupted or put through horrendous experiences, like this mother who was put through the ringer by various insurers when her 1 year old son was killed and husband injured in a road accident. Or this health tech CEO, who was an MD & JD and had to put $62,000 on his American Express card to get surgery. 

About 3 years ago as the dust was clearing from the Obamacare implementation, the impact of this started showing up in the polls. In 2017 for the Health 2.0 conference, Indu Subaiya & Hiliary Critchley ran a poll on health policy with Zogby. To me by far the most remarkable feature was that even though Obamacare was by then more popular than not among the public, the support for single payer had gone up dramatically since 2009–in the depths of the recession.

Zogby poll for Health 2.0, Fall 2017

In 2019 44% said they were utterly opposed to single payer (and 50% opposed overall). But by 2017 while the number strongly in favor had just edged up, 48% were in favor overall, with another 30% neutral or not sure. Now only 19% were strongly opposed.

Meanwhile, just a year later (October 2018) a lot of fuss was made about a poll from The Hill that had 70% of Americans supporting Medicare For All. This was the poll that had 52% of Republicans saying they were in favor of it. (Full data here). (Don’t forget that only about 30% of Americans identify as Democrats, while about 35% identify as Republicans and 40% say they’re independent). So if we are to believe that somewhere between 45% and 70% of Americans say they are in favor of single payer, almost all Democrats are. And in fact that is true. The Hill found 92% were and the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF) shows 75%.

The issue of course is what “Medicare For All” means in reality. The KFF poll is very up to date and I can’t decide if it shows that the electorate is very confused or if the poll itself is a mess. (I highly recommend clicking though it). It basically says that Democrats want Medicare For All and want a public option while wanting to keep their own insurance (presumably many of them now have employer-based private insurance).

But luckily there was another recent poll done by Bob Blendon at Harvard (who I worked within the 1990s), and (as I told the KFF folks and Topher Spiro on Twitter) this poll was not a mess. In fact it was crystal clear in herding its respondents into one of three camps and thus very instructive for the Democratic primaries. (Details here) The poll gave people a straight choice between single payer, or extending the ACA, or the Republican “alternative”.

Basically when you tell Americans that Medicare For All means “Medicare for You too” (i.e. All Americans would get insurance from Medicare), but offer them a choice of an ACA expansion, roughly a third choose either alternative.

Somewhat more remarkably this split is not just along party lines. Democrats in the poll were also evenly split between Plan A (Medicare for All) and Plan B (expanding Obamacare) although few of them wanted the Republican alternative and, if you include independents who lean Republican, a third of them want single payer or extended Obamacare!

Source: Commonwealth Fund/New York Times/Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, Americans’ Values and Beliefs about National Health Insurance Reform. July, 2019.

The inference is relatively clear. Almost all Democrats want Medicare (or something like it) “available” for All and about half of them (and about 1/3 of independents) are prepared to “mandate” Medicare For All.

How will that translate into the primaries? It’s relatively obvious that the most passionate and most progressive Democratic voters are a little more likely to vote in the primaries. I’ve cut some data from another poll from The Hill (Jan 15, 2020) that suggests that 58% of Democrats say they are certain to vote in the primary but 67% of liberals will, while only 50% of those who “lean liberal” will.

Question: How likely are you to vote in the Democratic primary election or caucus in your state to choose the Democratic nominee for the 2020 Presidential Election?

Which gets us back to the voting. Everything thus far is weird. Caucuses are stupid and unrepresentative, although they have elements of a good idea (2nd choice votes in multiple candidate fields). New Hampshire doesn’t look like America and neither does South Carolina. But with Sanders/Warren coming in at between 35% & 55% so far, and most more liberal and more activist Democratic primary voters favoring single payer, I suspect that we will see a majority of votes/delegates for Sanders/Warren by mid March assuming that health care stays the dominant and dividing issue.

That likely means that even if all but one of the “BBBKS” moderates drop out, there wont be enough moderate delegates to stop the progressives at the convention. (Worth noting here that Warren has been saying “Medicare For All after we fix Obamacare” which gives her a little slack).

If that’s right and Sanders is the nominee, then the Democrats face an interesting problem. If like 2018, they can run on how evil Trump and the Republicans are on health care, but not say too much about their own plan, then they’ll likely win. If Trump succeeds in making it all about single payer socialism making people fear the devil they don’t know, it’s likely to be a losing issue.

Matthew Holt is the publisher of THCB and likes to remind people now and again that he has a Political Science degree and worked for a pollster once!

The post Understanding #Medicare4All & the Democratic Primaries appeared first on The Health Care Blog.

Understanding #Medicare4All & the Democratic Primaries published first on https://venabeahan.tumblr.com

[kristinsimmons]

Understanding #Medicare4All & The Democratic primaries

By MATTHEW HOLT

Since Saturday’s Nevada primaries, confusion seems to be reining about how Bernie Sanders seems to be winning. Time (and not a lot more of it) will tell who actually ends up as the Democratic nominee. But the progressive side (Bernie + Warren) is doing much better than the moderate side (Biden/Butt-edge-edge/Klobuchar) expected, while we wait to see how the  Republican side of the Democratic primary (Bloomberg) does in an actual vote. The key here is the main policy differential between the two sides, Medicare For All. Don’t get too hung up in the details of the individual plans, especially as revealing said details may have hurt Elizabeth Warren. But do remember that there is one big difference between Sanders/Warren and the moderates. It comes down to whether everyone is in the same state-run single payer system (a modified and expanded version of Medicare) or whether the private employer system is left as it is, with expanded access to something that looks like Medicare (the public option) for everyone else. Note that no Democrat wants to stand pat on Obamacare “as is”. Everyone is way to the left of what Obama ran on in 2008 (or at least what he settled for in early 2009).

Why has this changed? Well there’s been a decade of horror stories. I’m not talking about the BS anti-Obamacare stories from people forced to give up their junk insurance, I’m talking about people with insurance being bankrupted or put through horrendous experiences, like this mother who was put through the ringer by various insurers when her 1 year old son was killed and husband injured in a road accident. Or this health tech CEO, who was an MD & JD and had to put $62,000 on his American Express card to get surgery. 

About 3 years ago as the dust was clearing from the Obamacare implementation, the impact of this started showing up in the polls. In 2017 for the Health 2.0 conference, Indu Subaiya & Hiliary Critchley ran a poll on health policy with Zogby. To me by far the most remarkable feature was that even though Obamacare was by then more popular than not among the public, the support for single payer had gone up dramatically since 2009–in the depths of the recession.

Zogby poll for Health 2.0, Fall 2017

In 2019 44% said they were utterly opposed to single payer (and 50% opposed overall). But by 2017 while the number strongly in favor had just edged up, 48% were in favor overall, with another 30% neutral or not sure. Now only 19% were strongly opposed.

Meanwhile, just a year later (October 2018) a lot of fuss was made about a poll from The Hill that had 70% of Americans supporting Medicare For All. This was the poll that had 52% of Republicans saying they were in favor of it. (Full data here). Don’t forget that only about 30% of Americans identify as Democrats, while about 35% identify as Republicans and 40% say they’re independent). So if we are to believe that somewhere between 45% and 70% of Americans say they are in favor of single payer, almost all Democrats are. And in fact that is true. The Hill found 92% were and the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF) shows 75%.

The issue of course is what “Medicare For All” means in reality. The KFF poll is very up to date and I can’t decide if it shows that the electorate is very confused or if the poll itself is a mess. (I highly recommend clicking though it). It basically says that Democrats want Medicare For All and want a public option while wanting to keep their own insurance (presumably many of them now have employer-based private insurance).

But luckily there was another recent poll done by Bob Blendon at Harvard (who I worked within the 1990s), and (as I told the KFF folks and Topher Spiro on Twitter) this poll was not a mess. In fact it was crystal clear in herding its respondents into one of three camps and thus very instructive for the Democratic primaries. (Details here) The poll gave people a straight choice between single payer, or extending the ACA, or the Republican “alternative”.

Basically when you tell Americans that Medicare For All means “Medicare for You too” (i.e. All Americans would get insurance from Medicare), but offer them a choice of an ACA expansion, roughly a third choose either alternative.

Somewhat more remarkably this split is not just along party lines. Democrats in the poll were also evenly split between Plan A (Medicare for All) and Plan B (expanding Obamacare) although few of them wanted the Republican alternative and, if you include independents who lean Republican, a third of them want single payer or extended Obamacare!

Source: Commonwealth Fund/New York Times/Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, Americans’ Values and Beliefs about National Health Insurance Reform. July, 2019.

The inference is relatively clear. Almost all Democrats want Medicare (or something like it) “available” for All and about half of them (and about 1/3 of independents) are prepared to “mandate” Medicare For All.

How will that translate into the primaries? It’s relatively obvious that the most passionate and most progressive Democratic voters are a little more likely to vote in the primaries. I’ve cut some data from another poll from The Hill (Jan 15, 2020) that suggests that 58% of Democrats say they are certain to vote in the primary but 67% of liberals will, while only 50% of those who “lean liberal” will.

Question: How likely are you to vote in the Democratic primary election or caucus in your state to choose the Democratic nominee for the 2020 Presidential Election?

Which gets us back to the voting. Everything thus far is weird. Caucuses are stupid and unrepresentative, although they have elements of a good idea (2nd choice votes in multiple candidate fields). New Hampshire doesn’t look like America and neither does South Carolina. But with Sanders/Warren coming in at between 35% & 55% so far, and most more liberal and more activist Democratic primary voters favoring single payer, I suspect that we will see a majority of votes/delegates for Sanders/Warren by mid March assuming that health care stays the dominant and dividing issue.

That likely means that even if all but one of the “BBBKS” moderates drop out, there wont be enough moderate delegates to stop the progressives at the convention. (Worth noting here that Warren has been saying “Medicare For All after we fix Obamacare” which gives her a little slack).

If that’s right and Sanders is the nominee, then the Democrats face an interesting problem. If like 2018, they can run on how evil Trump and the Republicans are on health care, but not say too much about their own plan, then they’ll likely win. If Trump succeeds in making it all about single payer socialism making people fear the devil they don’t know, it’s likely to be a losing issue.

Matthew Holt is the publisher of THCB and likes to remind people now and again that he has a Political Science degree and worked for a pollster once!

The post Understanding #Medicare4All & The Democratic primaries appeared first on The Health Care Blog.

Understanding #Medicare4All & The Democratic primaries published first on https://wittooth.tumblr.com/

[bkwrm523]

So, this was supposed to be submitted to @imaginemycroftholmes , but my desktop is being obnoxious about it.  Posting it and tagging them, with permission.

Name: Sara

Age (note that if you are under the age of consent your score will be significantly lower for Marriage, Friendship and Partnership): 30

Gender: Female

Occupation: Administrative Assistant (fancy way of saying secretary)

Nationality: USA

Country of origin: USA

Personality type (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator): INFP

Education: Bachelor’s degree

Marital Status (if not applicable put N/A): Not married

Number of children (if not applicable put N/A): 0

Who would you shoot out of John, Sherlock, Mycroft and why: Mycroft.  The Holmes brothers are more likely to understand if I’ve been forced into it.  Sherlock tends to be a bit more emotional and unpredictable than Mycroft.  Also, Sherlock’s been shot a few times, that we know of, and Mycroft hasn’t (that we know of), so I think it’s Mycroft’s turn (it said “shoot”, not kill.  I have terrible aim and I’ve never used a gun; Mycroft is probably safe)

Height: 5’2 (of sass and insecurity)

Position in the family (oldest, youngest, middle): youngest, only non-firstborn in my immediate family

Best subject: Literature

Favorite Subject: Literature or History

Worst subject: Math

Last song listened to: Rag doll by Aerosmith

Favorite color: Purple

Thoughts on Molly and Sherlock’s impending relationship: If they’re finally hooking up, then I’m super happy for them!

Illness/allergies/impairments: I suspect I’m autistic, and I have anxiety and depression.  They’re both usually under control.

Last sentence uttered to another living human being: Where’s the turkey?

Hair color/length: short (about chin length when I remember to get it trimmed often enough).  Natural color is a very nice dark brown, but I usually dye it red.  I’ve considered dying it purple, but it hasn’t been possible so far due to my job.  Maybe in the future.

Who do you feel more sympathy for Sgt. Donovan or Anderson’s wife: Anderson’s wife.  I’m not exactly the most informed in the situation, but Sgt. Donovan hasn’t seemed to show any remorse when she’s wronged someone, has a bizarre vendetta for Sherlock, and probably knew Anderson was married when she got involved with him (okay, I’m guessing on a lot of these).  The only thing I know about Anderson’s wife, is that her husband cheated on her.  Possibly my opinion would change if I knew more.

Eye color: Blue

Constantly cold, hot or prefect: Usually hot. (meaning I prefer colder temperatures, to clarify)

Seven Noteworthy skills (ex: can play an instrument, fire most guns, ride a unicycle, etc.): I’m a pretty good liar (probably not by the standards of Sherlock or Mycroft, but I can fool the average person).   I’m a decent gamer (PC).   I don’t speed-read, but I’m a pretty fast reader. I’m not good at coming up with positive things about myself. I’m a very good reader - I read Hamlet by myself when I was 12 just to prove that I could.  Read a couple other advanced books at a young age to prove that I was good at it. I’m a writer - I don’t have much inborn talent, but I’ve worked really hard at it for as long as I remember, so I’ve learned to be very good at it. I’ve been dealing with mental issues (as listed above) by myself from a pretty young age, so I’m used to coming up with my own coping mechanisms.

Nine noticeable sins: (ex: moody, bad listener, selfish, etc.): I’m impatient. Shy I tend to be a bit selfish, but it’s a flaw I’ve been working on for years and am pretty good at stepping on those impulses these days. I’m not good at detecting subtleties in conversation; you often have to be blunt with me or I may not understand. I’m a second generation geek I’m not good at communicating it when I’m in emotional distress and need help I’m not good at keeping in touch with friends

Languages known/spoken: English, I can swear a little in Orcish

Cats, dogs, both or other: I don’t have any pets, but I’m a dog person and I’m allergic to cats.

How often you help your community (1 never, 2 sometimes when prompted, 3 average, 4 often, 5 weekly): 2

Favorite Holmes family member: … this feels like a trick question, so I’m gonna cheat and say Sherlock & Mycroft’s dad.

Body type (1 obese, 2 overweight, 3 averages, 4 fit, 5 skinny): 2

Number of past lovers (put N/A if virgin or not seeking marriage): N/A

Level of cleanliness (5 slobs, 4 messy, 3 average, 2 pretty clean and 1 spotless): 4

Would you rather piss off Sherlock or Mycroft: This is a really tough one, but I’m gonna say Mycroft.  They’re both reasonable people, but I feel like Mycroft is less emotional, and therefore would be easier to reason with so I could make amends.  

Rate your mental health on a scale of 1-5 with one being terrible and 5 being fine: 2.5

Rate your confidence on a scale of 1-5 with 1 being poor and 5 being Sherlock levels: 2

Combat level (1 sitting duck, 2 somewhat okay, 3 can hold their own, 4 pretty damn good, 5 a proficient fighter): 3

Circle of friends: Very very small.  About five or so people I chat with on a daily basis.

Who do you side with more Sherlock or Mycroft: … I dunno.  I don’t like to get in the middle; infp’s tend to loathe conflict and I’m no exception.  I will say I think the Holmes clan has been epically unfair to Mycroft lately.

Level of intelligence on a scale of 1-5: I’d say a three, but I think people who know me would say I’m being modest and give me a 4.  I’ll let you decide which to believe.

Who do you side with more Mycroft or Mrs. Hudson: Mrs. Hudson.

Introvert or Extrovert: Introvert.

Political alignment: In the USA’s system, I’m an independent that leans towards democrat.  I’d rather decide each issue individually than tie myself to any one party.  The UK’s system, I’m not sufficiently familiar with to say.

Who would your rather be trapped in a long car ride with Mummy Holmes or Holmes Senior: Mummy Holmes, I guess; she’d probably be easier to have a conversation with.  I don’t think I’d mind with either of them, however.

Go to outfit for everyday: Jeans and a tshirt on my days off (tshirts I buy plain solid ones, then I buy fabric paint and stencils and put geeky stuff on them).  I have work attire that’s usually black formal pants, black modest undershirt, and a button down formal shirt in some sorta color.

Go to outfit to impress: I refer you to the formal outfit above.

5 hobbies (not to be confused with noteworthy skills): Gaming (PC), creative writing, reading (fiction), sewing, watching movies

Opinion of Rosie Watson and Mary Watson: Rosie seems like a perfectly sweet and normal baby.  I’m so sorry she lost her mom, though.  Mary, I’m glad she was happy with John at the end, and I’m so sorry it didn’t last.

Favorite music/book/movies: Music, I really don’t feel that strongly about.  I listen to heavy metal, but I wouldn’t say I have a favorite song.  Books and movies it’s the opposite problem; I love too many to pick just one.  However, I have a go-to answer to both questions for the purpose of conversation.  Favorite book - The Hobbit.  Favorite movie - Havey (to clarify, the one starring Jimmy Stewart)

How well you take rejection on a scale from 1-5: with five being the best?  I’m gonna go with 4.5.  Not a five because I’m not that overconfident.  Yeah it may hurt, but we’ve all been there before (either being rejected or doing the rejecting, whatever), and I’m an adult.  Last time I got rejected, I just said “okay”, walked away, and we remained friends for years after.  It never came up again.

Religious or religious affliations: Agnostic.  I try to be a live-and-let-live type, as long as the other person doesn’t harass me to try & convert me.

Kids or no (note this is wanting them not the ability to have them): I don’t have any at the moment for financial reasons, but I do want them one day.

Out of the Holmes family (Siger, Violet, Sherlock and Eurus) who would you kill, maim, kiss or roommate with and why:

Kill: Eurus.  I know I’m being self centered here, and I am sorry for that, but she comes off to me as a whiney baby that couldn’t take platonic rejection and decided to punish everyone for it.  Grow up. Maim:  Violet, I guess.  I don’t really have super strong negative feelings about anyone else, but she seems to have an attitude that Mycroft is less important than Eurus, and that irritates me. Kiss: Sherlock.  I can tell him it’s for a bet and kiss him on the cheek.  Also, I definitely don’t want to be his roommate; I like sleep. Roommate: Siger.  Don’t know that much about him, but he seems nice.

Do you think what Mycroft did with Eurus (at the time) was justified and needed: YES.  And his parents’ response to finding out about it all was, IMHO, immature and extremely rude.  It’s understandable that their emotions were high in the situation, but there was absolutely no excuse for taking it out on Mycroft.

Please bold the following that you wish to have with Mr. Holmes: Friendship Partnership Marriage Mentorship

A detective who was mere days away from cracking an international oil smuggling ring has suddenly gone missing. While inspecting his last-known location, officers find a note: 710 57735 34 5508 51 7718. Currently there are 3 suspects:Bill, John, and Todd. Can you break this answer and tell me the reason.  I’m gonna have to admit defeat on this one.  I could google it, but I’d rather not cheat.  I have no idea, sorry.

What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?  Your name.  Heard this one before :)

Dwayne Johnson was running away with the loot from a heist in his car along with Vin Diesel. One tire was punctured and he dropped down to replace it. While changing the wheel, he dropped the four nuts that were holding the wheel and they fell into a drain. Vin Diesel gave him an idea using which they were able to drive till the rendezvous point.  Take his loot and get into Vin Diesel’s car.  There’s no reason I can think of why they can’t share a car.  Unless you can space out the remaining nuts on the tire to hold the tire onto the car; probably wouldn’t be good enough for very long, but should be good enough to get them to the rendezvous point, or far enough to ditch the car somewhere safe.  Whichever.

[carolnein]

haven’t posted a carolnein write in a while. here’s a happier bit from amnesia wip, unedited, under the readmore

Small rooms kept heat well contained, Elfnein had quickly learned, and she found it hard to work in such a stuffy atmosphere. She was content to lay down in bed silently with a book, but she wasn’t alone anymore, and now she was the only person in there who was ever satisfied.

“Carol, get off.” Elfnein pushed her away at arm’s length yet again, not even looking at her, but she could picture Carol’s annoyed pout. Carol didn’t resist when she was pushed, but Elfnein kept her arm extended because the instant she had let her guard down every other time, Carol moved back in.

“Why?” she asked, as she also had every other time. Elfnein ignored her, she’d already explained that it was too hot. “Elfnein, why?” she repeated. She pressed against Elfnein’s hand where she was holding her away, testing if she would give in, but kept her distance when Elfnein held firm. “Are you listening to me?”

“I’m listening.” She sighed, leaning her head back. “I keep telling you it’s too hot to lay on me, go back to your own bed if you can’t leave me alone.” It was a minor blessing that they were at least small enough to fit on the bed with space between them, because the rooms weren’t meant to be shared otherwise.

“I’ll be good.” Carol laid back down against the mattress, but as predicted, once Elfnein drew her hand back, she began inching back towards her.

“You said you wanted to read.” Elfnein tried to find her place in what she herself was trying to read; Carol kept making her lose track.

“I am reading,” Carol said immediately. Elfnein, to be entirely fair to her, looked at the nightstand on Carol’s side. Her book hadn’t moved since she’d first put it down to try to lay on her, as she suspected.

With another heavy sigh, Elfnein tried to lose herself in the book, but it was only seconds before an uncomfortable heat was pressed against her entire left side. “Carol!”

Carol flinched and pulled away from her, no more than an inch or two back, looking up at Elfnein with a fearful expression. “What’s wrong?”

Elfnein closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Sorry. But I told you, I don’t want to cuddle.”

“Cuddle?” Her face lifted before her eyebrows furrowed together. “What’s that?”

“When a couple lays down together, I guess.” She didn’t know much about it other than having heard about it, she’d never had anyone to cuddle with before.

“So if we’re a couple, I can be here?” This time when she perked up, her expression didn’t cloud over with confusion or disappointment, although Elfnein knew she was about to upset her. “Then can you be my girlfriend now?”

“It doesn’t matter, I told you it’s too hot,” she answered, dodging the topic. “I said you can stay here if you don’t lay on me.”

“Then be my girlfriend anyways.” Carol repeated herself, leaning in closer but still not touching her as instructed. “Please?”

Elfnein put her book down on her lap and looked away, under too much pressure to think clearly. She’d tried to sort out her feelings for a long time now, what was legitimate affection towards Carol and what was only fear of upsetting her, but all of that was a jumble again with Carol breathing down her neck.

“Elfnein?” Carol’s voice was quieter and more hesitant than previously, but she still looked hopeful.

“I…told you no.” She had to pause to brace herself for Carol’s imminent anger, but it never came.

“But why?” She sat up further, leaning over Elfnein. “You should tell me why.”

“I did, and that hasn’t changed.” Her face warmed up, and she turned away, embarrassed and trying to cover what might’ve been a lie. As far as she knew at the moment, she didn’t return Carol’s feelings strongly enough, but the fact that she was thinking about it so hard must have meant there was a change.

“Why not?” Elfnein nudged Carol away, and she backed off exactly as much as she was pushed, no more than that, but didn’t relent. “How do I change your mind?”

“You don’t.” Elfnein flinched again when she said this, but again Carol kept the minimum distance she was asked to despite the despair across her face.

“Then how does it change?” She looked Elfnein up and down, head to toe and back, like there was something tangible she could change this instant. “Does it ever change?”

“It just happens sometimes, I don’t know.” Testing the waters, Elfnein shuffled away a scant inch. Carol followed, but maintained approximately the same distance as before.

“But I never stopped loving you, that hasn’t changed.” Carol so casually said something that made Elfnein’s heart race, but she couldn’t identify the reason with her thoughts scattered such. “And I’ll never stop.”

“Carol….” Elfnein swallowed hard and licked her lips nervously. “That’s…a strong word.”

“They’re strong feelings.” Her face was serious, even lacking the little grin she got when she was pretending to not know she was acting in direct defiance of what she was told.

“Did…did you always, though?” Her mind struggled to keep up with how much she wanted to think about, so she continued stalling. “From the very beginning?”

Carol looked troubled again. “I guess not…. But I do love you more now.” She tilted her head the side in thought. “So the more time passes, the more you love someone?”

“That…can happen, yes. Sometimes.” She didn’t want to say that the opposite could happen; it wasn’t a guarantee, or even likely she thought, that it would happen. So it was unnecessary to dash her hopes.

“How long does it take?” Carol continued to interrogate her, still unsatisfied with her answers.

“If I knew I would tell you.” Elfnein bit her lower lip and felt some tension relax from her entire torso when Carol flopped down next to her with a frustrated groan.

“What do you know? You’re smart, right? Why don’t you know this?” Her leg started bouncing, like a cat’s tail twitching in annoyance.

“I can’t know everything.” She hesitantly picked her book back up now that Carol wasn’t halfway to pinning her down.

“Then can you tell me when your feelings change?” Carol stayed down, but reached out to hold her hand on Elfnein’s side; she didn’t shake her off.

It was deceptive phrasing, that she would tell her when and not if, but Elfnein intentionally ignored that as well. “I will.”

“I’ll wait as long as I have to, and I won’t make you hate me either.” Finally, Carol seemed satisfied enough to drop the subject, even if she wasn’t happy. Elfnein was ready to enjoy peace again when she felt Carol scoot towards her again.

“Carol….” Elfnein gave her a direct stare, and she froze.

“Will this make you not like me?” Carol backed up of her own accord for the first time that night, waiting for an answer Elfnein wasn’t giving. She wasn’t sure how this would affect how she felt about her; Carol’s persistence was endearing, flattering even, but the lack of restraint it implied was terrifying.

Carol didn’t wait for an answer and grabbed her book from the table. “I told you I’ll be good.”

“Thank you.” Several minutes passed without event before it sunk in for Elfnein that Carol was keeping her promise this time, and was going to leave her alone.

[lovelesswiki]

Post-Moonless predictions— Ritsu and Nagisa (9/10)

previous part<–[here] –> next part

for the last week or so, i’ve been talking about a large theory i’ve been writing. since finishing it, i’ve decided to publish it in parts, since it’s actually about 10 different theories all on one subject. since it’s all written out, i’ll try to be publishing one part of this per day.

essentially, this is a set of theories about what i believe will have to happen in order to properly lead up to a climax–the one we’ve been building up to for years and years now. so, these are what i theorize will happen after the first moonless vs beloved battle, broken up into ten different parts. each theory is explained and theres images for each one.

table of contents (bolded is the post you’re looking at):

moonless and beloved will rematch (1)

soubi will fall into a deep depression and possibly become suicidal (2)

ritsuka will arrive at seven voices, SM’s activity will be revealed (3)

SM will reveal that there was a mole in their organization (4)

kio will be the one to take ritsuka to goura (5)

ritsuka will find things out about soubi and the aoyagi family (6)

SM’s true purpose will be revealed. ritsuka will have to make a decision about good vs evil (7)

seventh SM member will be revealed (8)

nagisa will find out what really happened to sanae (9)

ritsuka will be asked to join SM to fill the aoyagi seat (10)

Theory: nagisa will find out what actually happened to sanae and it will trigger a chain reaction that will leave ritsu disabled and completely alone in the world. 

while i said that ritsuka’s storyline with SM will be tied up, there’s still storylines within SM and between the council members that needs to be cleared up. one of the biggest ones is the relationship and bad blood between ritsu and nagisa.

i often seen ritsu and nagisa’s relationship being portrayed very badly and incorrectly. nagisa is absolutely not head-over-heels in love with ritsu. she is using ritsu as a replacement for something she once lost, something that when she lost it, it left her feeling very alone, empty, and abandoned. nagisa even tells natsuo this, stating that she does not love ritsu, but they’re mutually using each other, and she’s doing it so she can feel less empty and alone inside. nagisa even goes on to say that she hates ritsu partially for his part in losing the thing that meant everything to her, and i dont really think this is nagisa being dramatic.

(i dont know what you think a loving relationship is, even one-sided, but it’s not this.)

nagisa and ritsu’s relationship is not a healthy one. it will never be a healthy one. theyre both using each other. nagisa knows and admits this. one side is a narcissist who’s been horribly obsessed with a woman for the past 25 years and the other side is a woman who has never been able to let go of a death and has gone as far as human experimentation to try to fix the void that she feels. their relationship is shown to be horrible, even if it’s played mostly for comedy, with ritsu purposefully hurting nagisa to get a rise out of her and nagisa being thrown into a violent, screaming rage around him.

(mostly played for laughs, but actually kind of concerning when you think about it.)

even during the scene where nagisa discovers ritsu’s injury, she has a complete breakdown in which she screams about being terrified of being left alone again and begs ritsu and natsuo and youji to not leave her.

nagisa is still deeply affected by death. it seems to affect everything she does. she even created a child in the image of her deceased sister to ease the pain and then tried to throw him away when it didn’t work.

in the chapters showing nagisa and sanae’s life before sanae’s death, nagisa is very focused on sanae. it does seem to be a healthy sibling relationship, unlike that of the aoyagi brothers, even if nagisa is a bit overprotective. nagisa states that sanae was the center of her universe. i dont know what the sagan sisters’ home lives were like when they were kids, but if nagisa was treated anything like how she treats natsuo and youji, then it wasn’t good and it would make sense why she was hurting so badly afterwards.

and then, sanae died, and nagisa blamed a lot of people. she blamed akio for strange reasons and by extension her son, soubi, and she blamed ritsu to a lesser degree. i have no doubt that she also blamed (blames) herself, as well, and is slightly projecting that hate onto other people.

(nagisa very often splits on people and goes from idolizing them to hating them and back and forth. she also has extremely unregulated emotions. more on that in a different post about mental health.)

from the way sanae died, it’s very heavily implied to be a suspicious death. she cant swim, but she also drowned in knee-deep water and seems to have been held under by something/someone. while others may not agree, i do strongly suspect that it was ritsu who drowned her.

(knee deep water...?)

nothing else really makes sense to me. no one else has a motive. nagisa didnt have a motive and neither did akio, who didnt seem to know who took her ring and doesn’t appear to have the personality of someone who would murder a child for it. nagisa loved her sister dearly and none of the other students seemed to have an issue with her, though they did know about her real personality. the only person who wanted to get rid of her was her sacrifice, ritsu, and as an adult, he is incredibly dismissive of her death. he was annoyed with her presence, didn’t seem to like her as a fighter, and she had made him irrationally angry by playing a (admittedly harsh) prank on someone he fell in love with. furthermore, she seemed to have dropped the ring by accident when he yelled at her and didn’t appear to have purposefully lost it. even if he didn’t kill her, he logically knew that she couldn’t swim, as the sagan sisters and he were childhood friends, and willingly walked away from her while she was in water. regardless, he does seem to be keeping secrets about her death and everything surrounding it is incredibly suspicious. 

nagisa and ritsu have a very unhealthy, turbulent relationship as is, and i dont see anything fixing this. nagisa holds onto ritsu because hes the only connection she has left to her dead sister and ritsu holds onto nagisa because he has a need to control everything and everyone around him, and nagisa is easy to control. they both enable and hurt each other, and even if ritsu wasnt the one to drown her, i heavily suspect that ritsu is keeping secrets about sanae’s death from her.

the turning point in their relationship will be when nagisa finds out these secrets, whether he did murder sanae or if there was just something extra he wasn’t telling her. personally, i think this will be the only way that nagisa realizes that ritsu is horrible to her and for her and that hes not filling the void that sanae left behind. it’ll cause another breakdown in her, but the anger at him keeping an important thing from her for the past 20+ years will finally cause her to break things off with him and distance herself. maybe she’ll realize that she has a better friend/relationship in seven and still has a chance at a social life. im unsure.

what’s important is that this will set off another chain reaction. her leaving ritsu alone will… essentially leave ritsu with no one. no matter what he does, soubi doesnt want anything to do with him and wont come back (not that he can anyways, since timeline-wise at this point he’s still with seimei). he doesnt appear to have any family. he doesnt seem to have any friends or drove them all away. and now nagisa, the only piece of control he had left, distances herself from him. while i dont believe ritsu will change or anything, he will be left alone, blind and no longer in control of anyone or anything, and he might finally get what he deserves through this.

furthermore, though, this will further cause the breakdown of the council with one member having kept secrets from another member for over twenty years. ritsu will struggle for control back, which will cause further dysfunction, and nagisa will stop wanting to have anything to do with him, and may even avoid him. thats two members out of seven (six, really) who won’t want anything to do with each other, one of which will be desperately struggling for power.

what i’m saying here is that i’m pretty sure at this point, the council is doomed to completely fall apart, and there’s really only one thing that will properly fix it, or even has the possibility to.

[wayward-avengers-writing-blog]

A Different Kind of Cold Case

((This became something of a running joke in my class. We were told to write a 4-5 page short story...I turned in 12 pages...I regret nothing.))

“So, Chad, heard you just finished a case the other day.” I look over towards Sam, my roommate of five years. We’d met on the force and, while we had yet to work a case together, we still kept up with each other’s cases. I still haven’t figured out how narcotics gets updates from homicide, but he’d managed it so far and and so long as he wasn’t involved somehow, I didn’t see a problem with it.

“Yeah, out on Old Jim Wilson’s land. You remember him, right? The coroner that had to quit after he fell last year?” Jim had worked for NYPD for thirty years before he had a bad fall down the stairs of his house. After dislocating a hip and breaking his collarbone, he’d been strongly recommended to not go back to work and he’d taken the advice. Not before offering the local college thirty acres of land as a body farm for the science department to put cadavers on, though.

“How’d you know it wasn’t one of the bodies the college puts out there?” He sat next to me on the couch, offering me a can of Coke. I took it with a nod of thanks, opening it and taking a drink before I spoke again.

“One of the students found it. Knew it wasn’t one of their cadavers; too fresh. So she called us down and showed us where he was. Man…telling the family is never easy. His wife runs that donut shop they’re trying to sell, out on west 15th. Had three kids. One of ‘em, Brian, he’s in my niece’s class. Got another a year older, and the third’s two years younger.” I shook my head at the memory. Laura had almost collapsed on the spot as her two oldest rushed to catch her, Tim glaring at me while he rubbed her back, the youngest, Toby, sitting on his couch, seemingly too stunned to move.

“Bet the snow didn’t help any, huh?” he asked, chuckling as he opened his own Coke. He relaxed back against the old couch that took up most of the space in the small living room, a grin on his face.

“Actually…it kind of helped.” I said with a shrug, earning myself a confused look. “How on God’s green earth, did the snow help you solve the case?”

I sighed. “Maybe I’d better start at the beginning…”

6 Weeks Earlier

I was driving on patrol, looking for any suspicious activity in some of the smaller cities surrounding New York when I got a call to head to the college. A student was there saying she’d found a body. Naturally, when I showed up at the college and found the girl waiting outside Forensics Building, I figured it was some kind of joke and prepared myself to go through the ‘boy who cried wolf’ talk when I noticed how freaked out she looked. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked her to explain what had happened.

“W-Well, I went out to the body farm…Mr. Crane wanted me to check it…make sure that the snow hadn’t corrupted the scene he set up…” The girl, Shawna, said shaking like a leaf. When I saw who she was, I had started to think she really was just a prankster. She’d been arrested back in high school for shoplifting. The charges had been dropped, but there was still a record of it. Aaron, the officer who’d issued the arrest, had kept in touch with her. Shawna was a brilliant kid, and Aaron had helped get her back on the right track and even helped her get into this college on academic scholarship. I urged her to continue, taking a few notes down as I did so.

“It was the farm out on Jim Wilson’s property…I was making my way out towards the cadaver when I noticed a lump in the snow…I-I thought some animal or something had dragged the cadaver, so I went to brush it off…b-but when I did,” She had to pause to regain her composure, and I let her; the poor kid looked like she’d seen a ghost, though, I guess that wasn’t so far off from the truth. “It was way too fresh to be one of the cadavers…they are almost always just skin and bones by the time they are put out there but this guy…he couldn’t have been dead f-for longer than a few days….”

I nodded along. “Listen, I know you probably don’t want to go back, but I need you to show me where you found the body.” She shook her head slightly, taking a breath and standing a little straighter.

“No, no. I don’t mind…with my chosen career, I’ll have to get over it eventually…not everyone at a crime scene will be weeks old…I’m just not really used to being the one to find the body…” She said, and I gave her a comforting smile as I patted her arm.

“You’ll be fine. You’re a lot calmer than I was at my first crime scene.” I said, and it was true. I’d nearly passed out. She gave me a disbelieving look, though, as she climbed into the passenger seat of my cruiser. I followed her directions out to the body farm, then out to the body itself. She had been right when she said it couldn’t have been more than a couple days old. I called down a coroner, and a couple other groups, including a K-9 unit and a metal detector. With all the snow, we’d need them to find anything. I sent Shawna on her way after she told me where to find her if I had any more questions.

When the coroner uncovered the body, a slow process of carefully brushing off the snow. Right away, there were no obvious signs of death. The guy looked like he could have just fallen asleep and froze to death, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was found on a body farm, I might have thought that was the actual cause of death. But no, someone had lazily tried to hide the body, hoped that, by the time the snow melted and we found the body, it could pass as a cadaver that had been forgotten about. Whoever it was never counted on a student coming out to the farm and finding the body.

We searched the body closer for any evidence before sending it with the coroner. We found a couple odd marks on the neck, but no ID. The coroner would be able to tell us later if the marks were related to the cause of death, and hopefully ID the body. We did find a few strips of copper wire. They nearly blended in with the ground, which is probably why they were left there. There was also a footprint under the snow, or most of the snow, anyway. It had already started snowing when it was made, because there was a thin layer of ice from where the snow had been compacted. The ice had helped to keep the shape of the footprint intact, even when the snow started to melt. To make sure they were accounted for though, and to see if we could find a witness, we needed to talk to the owner of the land. While that was officially the college, the land had been donated by Jim Wilson, and it was close enough to the edge of the property that he still owned that I figured it would be best to check with him.

Come to find out, Jim had no reason for copper wire to be anywhere on his property. He didn’t work on his own electric, and he hadn’t called anyone else to do work on it. Even if he had, there was no reason for copper wire to be that far from the house, and so, we had our first piece of evidence. There were a couple things you could come up with from that. Either our guy worked somewhere with electrical devices, or he messed with his own. Not very promising, in a big city, but it was something. He also said he’d seen a taxi drive by the day before. In town, that wouldn’t have been noteworthy, but Jim’s house was far outside a taxi driver’s usual route. He also said that there shouldn’t be any shoe prints out there besides our own.

That was about all we had for two days. Our guy was related to electrical devices (and that was if it was even a murder) and a taxi driver going out of his way. Two days after we found the body, though, I got a call from the coroner, Allen. I went down to the lab, and he was talking before the door ever closed.

“Electrocution. Odd, being so far away from any electrical outlets. Suggests he was moved post-mortem. Couldn’t have been too long after. He went into rigor mortem while lying in those woods.” He hadn’t even looked at me, pulling out the body. “I found signs of blunt force being taken to the back of the head. I also found a bit of DNA under his nails, suggesting he fount back until he was knocked unconscious. It wasn’t on file, but if you find the killer, I could do a DNA match to confirm it.” He pointed to the marks on his neck. “These would appear to be clamps from some kind of electrical device, such as a car battery or a generator. Placed over the arteries and veins in the throat. Blood, like water would have, carried the current to the heart, causing the poor man to go into cardiac arrest.” Allen turned to face me. “You’ll have to talk to Mrs. Evans to see if she knows anyone who might want him dead. Should be at her doughnut shop right about now. Closes at nine. She lives in 25 C of the Victory apartments if you’d prefer to wait until then.”

I nodded. Best not to make a scene. “So this guy’s her husband? He got a name, record, anything?” Allen nodded, grabbing a file from his desk and holing it out to me.

“Indeed he does. Matt Evans, married to Laura Evans, father of Tim, Brian, and Toby Evans. He worked nights at the American Express headquarters. I’ve already written out the email to the company, just waiting for your call to send it. He has one case related to him, an assault charge against a girl that worked at The Doughnuttery; Alex James. She lives in a foster home not far from the shop. The address is in the file.” I nodded in thanks, mentally adding Alex to the suspect list as I flipped through the file. I found the address and I was on my way.

I decided to check on Alex first, give Laura time to get home. The foster home was in the apartment above a small knickknack store the parents’ owned. I went up and knocked on the door, a woman in her forties answered. “Hello, I’m Officer Dunn with NYPD. Is Alex home?” A look of shock and worry instantly crossed her face.

“Oh no, what has she done?” She asked turning around to call into the house for Alex.

“Nothing ma’am. I just need to ask her a few questions.” I said. And it was true. So far I had no reason to think she had anything to do with the murder, save for an assault charge nearly a full year ago.

A teenager came into view, raising her eyebrow at me. “Why would you want to talk to me?”

“Well, would you mind if I came in?” the mother shook her head, stepping out of the way

“Not at all.”

I stepped in, looking around. The house was fairly neat, and no sign that anyone here worked with electronics. No sign of a car battery or generator, either. “Do you remember a Matt Evans, Alex?” She frowned, nodding slowly.

“Yeah…I dumped a cup of coffee on him because he was being rude. Tried to file an assault. Those charges were never taken to court, though. What brought this up now?”

“I’d rather not say at the moment. Was that the last you saw of him?” Probably wasn’t the best idea to go telling other people he was dead before his family knew, so I’d just keep that to myself for now.

“Yeah. Not seen hide nor tail of him since. Not like I actively search out self-entitled jerks.” She said with a shrug.

“Thank you. That’s all the questions I have for now. Is there a way I can reach you if I need to ask any further questions?” I asked, and she and her mother both gave me their cell phone numbers. I checked the time; 9:26 PM. Off to the Victory I go.

I found the apartment easy enough. After Brian and Tim caught her they slowly lowered her down so she sat on her knees in the doorway. I knelt down to her height, rubbing her shoulder. “I know this is a lot to take in, but can you think of anyone who might want him dead? Anyone who he’s had an argument with in the last few days?” It was Tim who answered.

“Mark Blackthorn down the hall. He and dad got into it all the time. Never agreed on anything, from political stuff, to when the best time to shut off loud music or videogames was.” I nodded.

“I’ll leave you alone for now…let you come to terms.” I said, straightening when I heard someone else speak.

“You’re gonna catch him, right?” I looked up to find that Toby had moved from the couch. “The guy that killed dad…you’re gonna catch him?”

I smiled softly at him, nodding. “I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure he gets caught.” That seemed to be enough for him, because he nodded. I left, closing the door behind me as I went to ask the manager what apartment Mark lived in; 26 C. Not much surprise there, if noise was one of the things they argued about.

It was someone who was most definitely not Mark Blackthorn, who played noisy videogames into the late hours of the night, who answered the door, though. It was a sixty something old woman with hair as white as snow.  “Is there a Mark Blackthorn here?”

The woman nodded. “Mark, there’s someone here to see you!” I took a glance around the apartment. A huge gaming system sat in the corner. From what I thought was just a pile of blankets, a voice answered.

“Who is it!?”

The woman glanced down at my uniform. “An Officer Dunn.”

You could have heard a pen drop. The game, which had been background noise until now, suddenly stopped as it was paused. A person slowly emerged from the mass of blankets, revealing who I assumed was Mark Blackthorn.

“Thanks, mom, I got it.” He said, walking out into the hallway with me and closing the door behind him. “What can I help you with, officer?”

“I wanted to ask you about Matt Evans.”

“Matt? You mean the guy next door? What about him?”

“He was found dead. Wanted to know if you had any idea who’d want him dead.”

Mark shook his head. “No, can’t say that I do. Matt wasn’t the best at…making friends, but I wouldn’t say anyone wanted him dead.”

I nodded slowly. “All the same, would you mind if I took a DNA swab? Just to rule you out as a suspect?” To my surprise, Mark agreed immediately.

I took the swab back to Allen, and waited impatiently for the results.

“Well…it’s not a complete match…” He said, and I raised an eyebrow.

“So it’s a partial match?”

“Yes, most likely a sibling. You may want to ask Mark if he has any brothers or sisters.”

I nodded, thanking Allen and went outside to call Mark and ask if he was home, or if he could meet somewhere. He said he wasn’t home, but that he’d meet him at the station in about ten minutes when he got off work. True to his word, Mark met me at the station, showing up early with three minutes to spare. “Hey, Officer Dunn. You needed to see me?” He asked as he spotted me.

I nodded. “Yeah, I did. Swab results came back…and don’t panic, you’re not a match.” I said with a soft chuckle as I noticed his eyes go wide. “I was wondering if you had any siblings.”

Mark gave me a funny look but nodded, “Yeah…I got a younger brother.”

“Could you tell me where to find him?”

“Well, yeah. He’d be at work right about now…at the Google Office. He doesn’t do much yet, but he’s a computer whiz. I taught him everything I know. If he’s not there, he lives out of town. His closest neighbor’s that weird old guy that used to work here, and he’s still a bit away…Why?” He asked with a frown.

“You’re not a match…but you were a partial match. It was too close for it to be a parental match…but a sibling is highly likely…”

“So-So Elliot…You’re saying he’s a killer?”

“I never said that, Mark. He might have just had a confrontation with Mr. Evans on the wrong day.”

Mark nodded slowly. “Alright. Well…I had better be getting back to the apartment. My mom’s wanting help making dinner for the Evans’ tonight.”

“Alright, Mark. You take care of yourself, now, you hear?” I stopped by the Google office after Mark left, but they were closed, so I looked up Elliot Blackthorn in the database and found his address. I stopped by the house, making a note that Jim was in fact his closest neighbor, only the body farm between them. I looked around outside and inside as I walked to the door; no law against that. I saw he had a decent sized generator out back, hooked up to a shed. Possible cause of electrocution? When I knocked on the door, it barely cracked open.

“Who’s there?”

“Officer Dunn with NYPD. I’m here to talk to Elliot, is he here?”

“You’re talking to him, what do you want?” The voice, Elliot, asked.

“I’m investigation the death of Matt Evans. You know anything about that?”

“No, why should I?”

I took a moment to consider my words. Saying we had evidence against him could make him jumpy, cause him to bolt. Saying we had evidence on his brother though… “We have evidence to suggest your brother is a suspect. Would you mind coming out to speak to me?” I heard a chain being removed as the door opened wider. “Mark? What makes you think he did it?”

“He lives next to the family. Apparently they fight all the time. Have you seen your brother out here lately?”

Elliot shook his head. “No. I’ve not seen Mark in a while.” I nodded softly.

“Well, thank you for your time, anyway. You mind if I look around for any sign he was here while you were away?”

“No, sir.” Elliot made his way back inside and I walked over to the side yard, towards the shed. I took a swab against the clamps on the generator. If this was the generator used to electrocute Matt, then there should be DNA traces left.

I took the swab back to Allen, and he confirmed that Matt’s DNA was on the clamps. That was more than enough evidence to get a warrant to search Elliot’s house for further evidence. This was where the shoe print, nearly forgotten until now, came back into play. It was unique due to the fact that one of the treads was torn off. Surprises, surprise, matching shoes, missing tread and all, were found just beside Elliot’s door. With that, we were able to obtain an arrest warrant, which gave us the right to take a DNA swab. Perfect match to the DNA found under Matt’s nails. And so we had our killer, but I still didn’t know how Elliot was related to Matt. Lucky for me, when he realized he was going to be caught, he fessed up.

“Well, you know I’m Mark’s younger brother right? Well…I’m young enough that I went to school with Alex���she was always a good friend. She like being able to do things herself, even got herself a job…but then that creep ran around, flirting with her ‘til she had had enough. Dumped a cup of coffee all down the front of him. He ended up causing her to lose her job. I wasn’t her fault he was the owner’s husband. Then there was the whole fiasco where Mark came home drunk from a party. He was trying to unlock his door and get inside when Matt started screaming at him for being publicly intoxicated, got him thrown in jail for the night. Mom and Dad had to bail him out the next morning, and they had to move in with him to keep the manager from throwing him out…”

He relaxed further back into his chair. “He decided to hurt two people close to me; two people who were far too nice to get even themselves…and I got tired of waiting for karma to kick in. I invited him out to some drinks after I stopped by his office to help a friend with their computer. When he agreed, I started making my plan. I drugged his drink, brought him home from the bar. Not too odd, seeing someone who’s barely able to support themselves leaving a bar. Used the generator out back, but I’m sure you knew that. Treated just like the monster he was. Took the body to the farm, but it started snowing before I got out there. Probably how you found the show-print, isn’t it?” Elliot hadn’t even blinked throughout the explanation. I shook my head, signaling for one of the other officers to come forward and take him back to his cell.

Present Day

“So the snow and ice actually preserved the footprint?” Sam asked with a grin.

“Yep, it sure did.” I said with a shrug “Even with the generator, without his unique footprint, he might have been able to place the blame on someone else in court”. Sam laughed.

“I’ve heard of cold cases before, but that’s just ridiculous.” He said before falling into a fit of laughter at his own joke, and I joined in.

[rafguinabroad-blog]

March - May 2017

One of the reasons I missed out writing the blog for the last couple of months, is that there really isn’t much to write about, all I do is sit at home writing, playing computer games, reading and masturbating*.

As to the writing, my word count is:

Relative Ties – 60,000 Words (vampires and revenge) Apprentice – 30,000 Words magic and war) Librarian – 12,000 Words (sequel to Librarian,) Playboy Cop – 21,000 Words (playboy solves crime – shit title, I need a better one) Orcs – 17,000 Words (orcs join humans and go to war, everyone dies) Sapphire – 2000 Words (outline/plot only – female sheriffs’ deputy and white supremists)

Part of the problem is there is so much on the internet, especially addictive content like Facebook; I’m in my mid-fifties and am addicted to the crap that’s on there. I am also job hunting, and to date have applied for over twenty jobs. These range from forklift driver, courier, office manager, and office assistant, and haven’t had a single reply.

It’s quite dispiriting. Some of the employment agencies have a counter on the web-page when you apply for a job. This means you can see how many other people have applied for the position, one of them was up to 167, and most are hovering around the one hundred mark.

I am hoping to use my remaining Enhanced Learning Credits to do a HGV course, we’ll see how that pans out; it also means these coming weeks will be filled with the Highway Code and Hazard Perception practice.

Myself, Matt, Marc, Pat, Ashley, and Matty, spent the other Saturday at the Cambridge CAMRA beer festival. My first impression was that it was organised by a bunch of Doolally** monkeys who had problems organising a piss up in a .... oh wait! When we arrived, we spent 10 minutes queuing, got to the end of said queue, and discovered that we were in the CAMRA Members only queue. There was no sign or any information that we were in the privileged line, until we got to the part where we had to pay.

We then had to go to the end of the queue snaking in from the opposite side, and requeue for another 10 bloody minutes. This may not sound a lot, but when you have already had a shit load of coffee, water and beer, and your bladder is the size of an under developed orange, those extra 10 minutes are quite emotional.

Anyway, once we were in, CAMRA redeemed themselves with good overall organisation, and a superb selection of beers and food vendors. For those of you who don’t know how a beer festival works, the first thing you do is buy a one-pint beer glass.

This glass is marked up with measurements at the one-third, one-half and one pint marks, so when you womble up to the counter you can order those sizes, this helps prevent you only ordering pints all day and getting totally smashed.

There were approx. 216 beers, ciders, and meads. There was also a stand with wine, which I didn’t taste. To give you an example of how seriously the Brits take their drinking, here is a selection of my favourite beer names taken from the Cambridge Beer Festival website: • Twisted 7.0% • Lavender Honey 3.7% (with real lavender added) • Milk Shake 5.6% • Mariana Trench 5.3% • Black Pig 4.2% • True Blue 3.9% • Henry Tudor 5.0% • Death or Glory 7.2% • Strawberry Sundae 4.5% • Lonely Snake Citra & Simcoe 3.5% • Repetitive Strain Injury 5.6% • Brainstorm 4.0% • Slightly Foxed 3.8% • Ginger Panther 3.7% (this one made me think of Craig – but replace the Panther with a Sloth) • Dark Side of the Moo 7.0% • Chocolate Orange Stout 6.7% • Marcus Aurelius 7.5% (apparently it’s an Imperial Roman Stout) • Spiffing Wheeze 3.9% • Horny Goat 4.8% • Crispy Pig 4.0% • Prince of Denmark 7.5% • Fallen Angel 4.2% • Visions of Heresy 5.7% • Hand of Doom 8.2% • New Balls Please 3.7% • Mad Monk 4.8% • Back Sack & Quack 4.2% • Scream If You Want To Go Faster 8.1% • Smooth Hoperator 4.0% • Fall of Man 6.0% • Hot Dog Chilli Stout 5.0% (Just enough chillis to produce a pleasant aftertaste) • Bitter Invention of Satan 8.6%

Remember, these are beers or ciders, and all of them are handmade with love and affection. I enjoyed drinking them, not only for the taste, but also so I could walk up to the counter, hand over my glass, and say “New balls please.” Or “May I have Visions of Heresy please.” The other good thing about the day, was I was not the largest person there, not by a long way, in fact some of the women could have easily dominated me.

Matt and I had a most fantastic handmade pizza, which was made in front of us for lunch, and although it was slightly expensive, it was worth it. The only downside to the day was that my back had given way the week before, so I was in the most terrible pain. I was alright when I was walking, but struggled with sitting down. So the rest of the lads decided to show their caring side, and we walked the couple of miles back to the train station, and had bit of a pub crawl on the way back.

Marc held his 48th Birthday in his back garden, and he and I did a BBQ. For those of you who are unaware, Marc has a bar and a reasonable sized hot tub in his back garden, and as the weather was okay, most of us had a good time.

The only two creepy events of the evening were; Marc seemed determined to get me in the hot tub with him – I fought him off bravely; and I spent 20 minutes using a rolled-up towel to gently flick the bottom of a 6 year old girl in a swimsuit as she ran back and forth daring me. All present seemed comfortable with it. But I suspect that come my trial, it’ll be used as evidence against me.

Anyway, moving on. I’m currently looking for love, or just good old sex, on Tinder, and my age range is 45 – 60; apparently, it’s wrong of me to put 16 – 25 – who knew! One thing I have noticed is that a large number of women around my age, post pictures of their dogs, cats, horses, etc, instead of themselves. Why, do they think I’ll find the pets sexy?

How am I as a middle aged-to-old man, supposed to know if I can love you, or mate with you, in a loving and non-kinky way, when all I can see is a picture of a parrot, a pussy, pug or poodle, are the women subconsciously sending out a message as to what they think they look like? If so, they need to be seeing a psychiatrist, not looking for rejection or perverts on tinder.

Every couple of months I get my haircut by a gentleman of Brazilian descent, and the other day as I was sitting in the chair all tucked in, I couldn't help but notice that, a) he wasn't wearing underpants, and b) he was quite well endowed. Imagine if you will somebody walking around you in a tight circle, occasionally brushing your arm, with a small snake wiggling around in his pants. It was the closest I've been to sex in years, even if it was with the wrong gender.

Envisage if you will, a snake charmer whose snake is hiding in his pants and swaying gently from side to side, and it occasionally brushes up against you like a cat, or rather a snake, behaving in a non-threatening manner.

A few blogs ago I queried why manufacturers made deodorant that was good for 48, 72, or 96 hours. Since I have stopped working, quite often I'll not bother showering every day, and my record is three days. In other words, the manufacturers make deodorant for the unemployed. And I suspect it's not because we're all skint, it's because we either can't be bothered or we lose track of time.

The other week Whilst in Norwich, I went to Jacamo to get some t-shirts for myself, and when Marc found out I was going, he asked me to pick up a couple of things for him. He wanted sleeveless t-shirts, and when I questioned him about his poor choice, he told me that sleeveless was the correct dress code for the gym. Now, to be honest, I’ve seen him wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks, and trust me the correct dress code for him at any time, never mind in the gym, is a burqa and gimp mask.

Julie and Pat came round the other day for dinner, and as she walked in, the first thing Julie asked was “Jim can I use your Spermy keyboard?” Great! How well she knows me. First thing she saw when she sat down at the desk was a pubic hair, I swear it wasn’t, she insists it was; I did however, strongly suggest that once she’d finished, she wash her hands thoroughly.

A few weeks ago, Craig suddenly out of the blue asked me if my mobile was a Samsung Galaxy S6, and when I confirmed it was, he said did you know they're all wireless charging - it must be true because his mum said so. After mocking him for 5 mins, we drove to the only place we knew with wireless charging points - McDonald's, and arrived there at nine o’clock at night.

We bet a McDonald's meal on it. I was right, when we put the phone on the recharge pad nothing happened; however, Craig had more faith in his mum than McDonald's technology, and went and tried a different recharge point. Bastard phone started recharging, so we stayed and Craig tried to eat his own bodyweight.

Quote of the month:

Quote: All the Islamists from Saudi Arabia are wasabi. *** Corrected quote: All the Islamists from Saudi Arabia are Wahhabi.

How do you know that your friends are following the Slimming World diet? They turn up at your house for a dinner party, and bring Best Of Both (BOB) milk because they want to be healthy when they have their obligatory cup of tea or coffee. They also quiz you on the ingredients used in the making of the meal, and then spoil it by having four or five cookies along with their coffee!

Myself, Marc and Pat are on one of our diets again. We’ll eat healthily, but also cut out all booze for June – let’s see how that goes and who crumbles first. Marc’s trying to turn it into a competition, and is giving me daily updates as to his weight, food, and toilet schedule – and people say nothing exciting happens in my world!

That’s it for now, hopefully I’ll get a job and have something interesting to talk about in future. Jim

*Five, the record is still five, and I’m not going to lie, I thought my dick was going to drop off by the end. **To 'lose one′s mind'/an idiot or, Temporarily deranged or feeble-minded. ***Wasabi'ist – someone who loves hot Japanese condiments.

[lauramalchowblog]

Understanding #Medicare4All & The Democratic primaries

By MATTHEW HOLT

Since Saturday’s Nevada primaries, confusion seems to be reining about how Bernie Sanders seems to be winning. Time (and not a lot more of it) will tell who actually ends up as the Democratic nominee. But the progressive side (Bernie + Warren) is doing much better than the moderate side (Biden/Butt-edge-edge/Klobuchar) expected, while we wait to see how the  Republican side of the Democratic primary (Bloomberg) does in an actual vote. The key here is the main policy differential between the two sides, Medicare For All. Don’t get too hung up in the details of the individual plans, especially as revealing said details may have hurt Elizabeth Warren. But do remember that there is one big difference between Sanders/Warren and the moderates. It comes down to whether everyone is in the same state-run single payer system (a modified and expanded version of Medicare) or whether the private employer system is left as it is, with expanded access to something that looks like Medicare (the public option) for everyone else. Note that no Democrat wants to stand pat on Obamacare “as is”. Everyone is way to the left of what Obama ran on in 2008 (or at least what he settled for in early 2009).

Why has this changed? Well there’s been a decade of horror stories. I’m not talking about the BS anti-Obamacare stories from people forced to give up their junk insurance, I’m talking about people with insurance being bankrupted or put through horrendous experiences, like this mother who was put through the ringer by various insurers when her 1 year old son was killed and husband injured in a road accident. Or this health tech CEO, who was an MD & JD and had to put $62,000 on his American Express card to get surgery. 

About 3 years ago as the dust was clearing from the Obamacare implementation, the impact of this started showing up in the polls. In 2017 for the Health 2.0 conference, Indu Subaiya & Hiliary Critchley ran a poll on health policy with Zogby. To me by far the most remarkable feature was that even though Obamacare was by then more popular than not among the public, the support for single payer had gone up dramatically since 2009–in the depths of the recession.

Zogby poll for Health 2.0, Fall 2017

In 2019 44% said they were utterly opposed to single payer (and 50% opposed overall). But by 2017 while the number strongly in favor had just edged up, 48% were in favor overall, with another 30% neutral or not sure. Now only 19% were strongly opposed.

Meanwhile, just a year later (October 2018) a lot of fuss was made about a poll from The Hill that had 70% of Americans supporting Medicare For All. This was the poll that had 52% of Republicans saying they were in favor of it. (Full data here). Don’t forget that only about 30% of Americans identify as Democrats, while about 35% identify as Republicans and 40% say they’re independent). So if we are to believe that somewhere between 45% and 70% of Americans say they are in favor of single payer, almost all Democrats are. And in fact that is true. The Hill found 92% were and the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF) shows 75%.

The issue of course is what “Medicare For All” means in reality. The KFF poll is very up to date and I can’t decide if it shows that the electorate is very confused or if the poll itself is a mess. (I highly recommend clicking though it). It basically says that Democrats want Medicare For All and want a public option while wanting to keep their own insurance (presumably many of them now have employer-based private insurance).

But luckily there was another recent poll done by Bob Blendon at Harvard (who I worked within the 1990s), and (as I told the KFF folks and Topher Spiro on Twitter) this poll was not a mess. In fact it was crystal clear in herding its respondents into one of three camps and thus very instructive for the Democratic primaries. (Details here) The poll gave people a straight choice between single payer, or extending the ACA, or the Republican “alternative”.

Basically when you tell Americans that Medicare For All means “Medicare for You too” (i.e. All Americans would get insurance from Medicare), but offer them a choice of an ACA expansion, roughly a third choose either alternative.

Somewhat more remarkably this split is not just along party lines. Democrats in the poll were also evenly split between Plan A (Medicare for All) and Plan B (expanding Obamacare) although few of them wanted the Republican alternative and, if you include independents who lean Republican, a third of them want single payer or extended Obamacare!

Source: Commonwealth Fund/New York Times/Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, Americans’ Values and Beliefs about National Health Insurance Reform. July, 2019.

The inference is relatively clear. Almost all Democrats want Medicare (or something like it) “available” for All and about half of them (and about 1/3 of independents) are prepared to “mandate” Medicare For All.

How will that translate into the primaries? It’s relatively obvious that the most passionate and most progressive Democratic voters are a little more likely to vote in the primaries. I’ve cut some data from another poll from The Hill (Jan 15, 2020) that suggests that 58% of Democrats say they are certain to vote in the primary but 67% of liberals will, while only 50% of those who “lean liberal” will.

Question: How likely are you to vote in the Democratic primary election or caucus in your state to choose the Democratic nominee for the 2020 Presidential Election?

Which gets us back to the voting. Everything thus far is weird. Caucuses are stupid and unrepresentative, although they have elements of a good idea (2nd choice votes in multiple candidate fields). New Hampshire doesn’t look like America and neither does South Carolina. But with Sanders/Warren coming in at between 35% & 55% so far, and most more liberal and more activist Democratic primary voters favoring single payer, I suspect that we will see a majority of votes/delegates for Sanders/Warren by mid March assuming that health care stays the dominant and dividing issue.

That likely means that even if all but one of the “BBBKS” moderates drop out, there wont be enough moderate delegates to stop the progressives at the convention. (Worth noting here that Warren has been saying “Medicare For All after we fix Obamacare” which gives her a little slack).

If that’s right and Sanders is the nominee, then the Democrats face an interesting problem. If like 2018, they can run on how evil Trump and the Republicans are on health care, but not say too much about their own plan, then they’ll likely win. If Trump succeeds in making it all about single payer socialism making people fear the devil they don’t know, it’s likely to be a losing issue.

Matthew Holt is the publisher of THCB and likes to remind people now and again that he has a Political Science degree and worked for a pollster once!

The post Understanding #Medicare4All & The Democratic primaries appeared first on The Health Care Blog.

Understanding #Medicare4All & The Democratic primaries published first on https://venabeahan.tumblr.com