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camaro-and-smokes · 2 years ago

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Dream a Little Dream of Me

Rating: EXPLICIT Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply. Category: M/M Fandom: Stranger Things. Relationship: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington Characters: Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington. Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Billy Hargrove Lives, Billy Hargrove Redemption, Gay Billy Hargrove, Bisexual Steve Harrington, POV Steve Harrington, First Meetings, Dreamsharing, Fluff, Billy Hargrove Has a Crush on Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington Has a Crush on Billy Hargrove, Dreams and Nightmares, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Billy Hargrove and Steve Harrington as adults, Mild Language, Harringrove. SEE ALL TAGS ON AO3.

Summary: Modern setting AU where Steve Harrington is VP of marketing in a Fortune500 firm. He starts to have a recurring dream of a relationship where he feels content in a way he'd never felt before. "It's just another dream" he tries to tell himself. But then it suddenly isn't just a dream anymore.

This accidentally grew into a longer work, so...

Chapters: 1 / 21 Read in full on AO3 >>

Author notes: This is my third entry to the @harringroveson-bingo 2022, Round 1, Card 001, B2; Free space: Coffee shop :) Christ, I never thought I'd write this trope, but here I am, just as confused about it as Steve.

For some inspiration... 'Dream a Little Dream of Me' by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. You're welcome 😘

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The nightmares had finally stopped. Steve was obviously happy about it, but in a weird way he also missed them. They had been at least something different in his life that was pretty much the same day in, day out. He got up in the morning, grabbed a coffee from the coffee shop downstairs, took an uber to work, spent eight to twelve hours working for money he didn't really know how to spend anymore in his bachelor's life, came home, and streamed something for few hours, and went to bed. Rinse and repeat.

He wanted something to break that cycle, and when the nightmares had started a few years prior, as sad as it was, they'd been a welcomed change. Dreams of an afterlife or something, in his childhood hometown Hawkins, but it was all somehow distorted. There was only night, and it was full of horrors, big and small. First he'd seen them a few times a month, then they'd started coming more often. He'd gone to psychotherapy to get rid of them, and learned, that his great childhood had actually been miserable and he’d been basically abandoned by his parents weeks on end at a time. But with that realization the nightmares had lessened, and then finally stopped altogether.

And so he was back in square one. Though now he had a better grip on his inner life, or so he hoped. So, to find something meaningful to his life, he tried to go on dates. He found them on apps, through friends, and work, and sure enough, he had a lot of takers with his Chicago penthouse and his work as a VP of marketing in a Fortune500 firm. But even though a few of those had come close, none of them really hit home for him.

Then he started to have a recurring dream again. He woke up from it in such a peace that he almost couldn't wait to get back home, and to bed with the hope that he'd see it again. And sure enough, it returned.

First it was just bits and pieces here and there. A sunny day, a bright blue sky with some wispy clouds, some rooftops in the rims of the view, but nothing that he could recognize.

The dream returned first a few times a month, just like the nightmares before. But instead of being scared, and waking up in a cold sweat after each one, he waited for these dreams.

Because when he woke up from them, he felt happy and content in a way he had never experienced before.

Of course he also felt sad, because the feelings came from a dream, and in his real life he had nothing that he really could be as happy about as he was in the dream. But he had nothing better for now, so he indulged himself in it, because why not.

When the dreams started coming more often, he saw more glimpses of the surroundings. The location was apparently a park. There was a lot of green around, the skyline as a backdrop to all the green.

And then there were sounds. Children, definitely, some talk, music, sounds of a city. Each time the dream returned, it had something new that added to it.

On his work trips Steve started to visit the parks in each town to see if the one from the dream was any real one. He knew it was stupid, but again, he really didn't have anything better to do when he was off work, and he always had preferred running outside to a mat.

In early June he took his running shoes to the Central Park in New York. It was a cloudy day, but when he recognized the familiar shape of rooftops on one opening, he stopped dead on his tracks. He walked on the grass and looked around, listening. The sounds of the city were the same as in the dream, but everything else was amiss.

Of course it was, because it was just a stupid dream. He'd seen the skyline in some TV show or a movie, and it had caught on into his dream from there.

Feeling depressed he ran back to his hotel, canceled the dinner he'd had planned, and decided just to stay in his room and empty the mini-bar.

That night he saw the dream again, and it had something totally new in it: a long, blond, curly lock of hair, swaying in the breeze. A breeze he also felt on his face. The curl tickled, and then someone laughed.

Steve woke up in the middle of the night, sitting straight up, and shouting. The dream in its beauty was starting to get the better of him. It was getting to be too much, too perfect.

He had just made it up from all the pop-culture references he'd consumed throughout his life, and now it started to consume him, and getting on his nerves - quite literally. He could still feel the curl on his face, and the breeze.

And the laughter. It sat in his ears like a memory, even though he knew he actually had never heard it before. The voice was a bit raspy, like someone who’d smoked and drank whiskey for a long time, but it bubbled in the air, and made him want to laugh too.

He laid back down, and decided, that in the morning he would ask his assistant to book an appointment with his doctor to get some of those anti-psychotics he'd used to get the nightmares to go away. He wouldn't allow himself to wallow any more in something he had cooked up himself.

Steve returned to Chicago on Sunday, messaged his assistant, and in the evening his assistant informed him that he had an appointment with his doctor on Monday afternoon. Soon there would be no more nights of self-indulging torture, but just blissful nothingness for six hours every night.

If would see the dream again that night, he could take it once more. And sure as hell, it did.

The curl swayed in the breeze, and when he followed it, it passed in front of an eye. A deep blue one with long, black lashes surrounding it, beginnings of crows feet in the corner. He could tell there was obviously an eyebrow too, a nose, and a cheek, but all of that was fuzzy, as if a camera shot was focused only on the eye.

And then he heard the laughter again, and felt the curl on his face, and he was almost waking himself up, when the raspy laughter turned into an almost inaudible whisper: 'I love you'.

That morning Steve wept when he woke up. The reality of not having that person from his dream, was now too much. He really had to get rid of the dream now, before it broke him.

He went about his morning chores trying desperately not to think about the last words from the dream. He took a shower, dried his hair, put on his suit, tied his tie, took his phone and laptop, and rode the elevator downstairs. He walked into the coffee shop reading the first of his emails on his phone, when he almost bumped into someone. He looked around, and realized that there was a queue in the shop. It wasn't unheard of, but not common either. Every tenant on his block had decided that this Monday morning was the one they wanted coffee here.

He groaned. He was already a bit late, but as he was the VP, him being late for the start of the week meeting for the marketing department wasn't the worst thing that could happen.

That's when he heard the raspy, bubbly laughter.

He could tell it apart from any noises in the loudest of rooms, and he actually did. The shop was packed, and the patrons were forced to wait for their orders standing, crowding the floor.

Steve felt elated. How could it be that the exact same laughter from his dream was someone's actual laughter? Had he dreamed it, or had he heard it here before? He didn't know, but now he had to find out.

He tried to listen if he heard it again, but it didn't before he had to pay for his order. He got his usual, and the barista, whom Steve knew well, apologized for the queue, and told him, that he would have to wait for a short while as the other barista made the order.

For once Steve didn't mind the wait. He turned, and glanced around the shop while pretending to look at something on his phone. Then he heard the laughter again, and hearing it made him smile. He turned to look at the direction he thought he'd heard it, but everyone stared at their phones, and some people were talking on theirs, so it could've been anyone.

Then the barista called his name, and he picked his order up, and left the shop. If the laughter was here today, and he'd heard it here before, it would be here on another day too.

He still lingered in front of the window of the shop just to see if there were any women with long, blonde, curly hair inside, but he couldn't see any. So he got an uber, and rode to work.

He told his assistant to cancel the doctor's appointment first thing when he got into the office.

The following weeks Steve went about his days just to get to bed and wait for the dream to come, and when it didn't, he waited the coffee shop to open where maybe he would hear the laughter again. But neither one returned.

He started to feel stupid. It was such adolescent behavior to expect something like that to happen, a dream to come true. But he knew that the laughter was real. All he had to do was to be at the same place at the same time with the woman who held such intoxicating laughter within her.

Then he had the dream again one night. It was heavy as a weighted blanket, and he immersed into it in full.

He could see a back of a head with the long, blond curls. This time the curls were swaying in front of him, his hand was in hers, and the woman was pulling him after her, laughing. The curls reached her shoulders, and she was wearing a tight brown leather jacket. Steve said something to her, and she turned to look at him, and he almost saw her face before the dream ended.

When he opened his eyes, he couldn't remember anything else of the face but the freckles. They were peppered all over the nose, cheekbones, and even forehead, surrounding the gorgeous blue eyes from all sides. Despite not seeing the whole face, Steve couldn't help but to smile his way through the mundane tasks of getting ready for work.

Freckles. Lots of them. He would recognize those with the blue eyes and the curly locks anywhere.

He stepped into the coffee shop that was almost empty. Steve had started to look around the shop first thing when he walked in, and this time he saw a few of the patrons he knew sitting on the side tables with their open laptops and phones. He couldn’t see if the two tables in the small nook behind the end of the counter were occupied, but because he wasn't in a hurry that day, he decided he would check them out when he got his order, and maybe even sit down there for a bit, and reply to some emails in peace for once.

So, when he got his order from the other end of the counter, he peeked to the nook to see if the tables were empty. The other one was, but the other one was occupied.

By someone with long, blond curls on a loose ponytail.

The woman was sitting her back towards Steve, legs crossed, looking out the window, and talking on the phone with a quiet voice. There was something familiar in her frame, the way she carried herself, maybe. The shoulders sat the same way in the pullover she was wearing, as they did in the leather jacket in the dream.

But something was off. Steve couldn't pinpoint what it was.

Well, obviously he was there comparing a stranger into someone he'd seen in his dream, and that was way off in all kinds of wrong ways. So, maybe he should just give himself some slack.

It's not like you can dream someone perfect alive, can you?

Steve decided to at least see if he'd gotten the freckles right, because the hair was pretty much exactly the one from his dream. So, he sat to the empty table with his coffee, and picked up his laptop from his bag. He didn't want to disturb the woman as long as she was on the phone, so he turned the laptop on, and started going through his emails.

He couldn't keep himself from glancing to the neighboring table from time to time though. He realized that the person wasn’t necessarily built like an average woman. The shoulders were wider, and their torso too was more heavily built, though not overly so. They were wearing black skin tight jeans, and boots with high heels, higher than Steve would expect from someone who clearly wasn’t a woman. Their pullover was black and had a very lose knit in front, and through it peeked a white Metallica shirt. They had black nail polish, and smudged fingers, maybe from the pen they had in front of them on the table, on an open notebook.

When Steve was writing a quick answer to his assistant on the messaging app, the person ended the call. They sighed, and set their phone on the table, but kept their gaze in the window as if pondering something.

Steve kept his eyes on them, and it took him a moment before he realized that the person was looking at him through the reflection in the window.

Steve blushed, and his phone slipped from his hands, making him fumble with it before he caught it, and put it quickly on the table next to his laptop, his hand frozen on top of it.

The raspy, bubbly laughter filled the air. "Sorry man, I shouldn't laugh. But if you try to score chicks, you have to be a little more inconspicuous when checking them out, so that you don't paint yourself as a creepy, drooling fuck who wants to take photos under the table secretly. Just saying."

Steve felt his ears burning, and he was so embarrassed getting caught, that he couldn't raise his gaze from the table. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, you're absolutely correct. Sorry."

There was a pause.

"But you're not here to score chicks, are you? Or just any chicks, just one in particular. And that might turn out not to be a chick at all," the person said.

Steve raised his gaze, and looked at the stranger. A long, blond, curly lock of hair fell over their right eye, a blue one, and the freckles - they were all there just like Steve remembered. Suddenly all the fuzzy images of a woman in his dreams became focused, in 4k high definition - and Steve realized, that the stranger was right.

It had never been a woman in his dreams to begin with. It had been this stranger all along.

"Let's not make this uncomfortable," they said starting to collect their stuff from the table. "I'm clearly not what you expected."

"No!" Steve yelped. "No, I mean, what? What do you mean?" he asked confused. "Did you dream of me too?"

"No, I didn't dream of you. I dreamed you."

When Steve just looked at them confused, they continued. "Have you seen nightmares of this horrible underworld with unspeakable monsters?"

"Yes, I did. For years. They were of my childhood town. I went to therapy and learned that they were a reflection of my bad childhood with parents who were never there."

"Listen. I don't know how this shit actually works, but those dreams are something alive, and they're trying to reach us. Another dimension, or some shit. I've read everything I can about them. We're not the only ones having those dreams. My sister, step-sister actually, has had them too, and one of my musician friends. I guess the dreams were trying to catch me when I was on my weakest. Anyway, after the nightmares stopped bothering me, when I stopped drinking for good, I started seeing good dreams, ones of someone I was happy with. First I didn't see the person at all, just some skyline, and clouds, a glimpse of dark hair, a park or something. I knew I wanted meaning in my life, and the feeling that person left me with when I woke up, was everything I'd ever wanted. So, I wanted to see more of that person in the dream. Then the picture started to fill in."

"And here you are," Steve said.

"Yeah, here we are."

Steve stared in front of him dumbfounded for a while. "Uh...I-I'm sorry,” he stuttered. “I think we got off the wrong foot," he said getting up, and walked to the other table, and reached out his hand. "Hi. I'm Steve. Steve Harrington."

The stranger took his hand and shook it, smiling a gorgeous smile. "Hi. I'm Billy Hargrove. Nice to finally meet you."

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ankhisms · 3 years ago

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just some venting & thinking about things in general under the cut ill be ok im just having one of those days u kno

recently talked to my dear friend who lives in chicago about how things are going & we were talking about him trying to raise enough/earn enough money to get his lovely amazing fiance a computer thatll be good for doing illustration work and anyway the point of me mentioning this is that i told him "yeah im unemployed right now" and i keep coming back to that phrase because it just feels... weird and incorrect despite yeah, i dont have a job right now, so that makes me unemployed. but ive been thinking a lot about my physical and mental health problems especially after how awful my last job was and how much i just felt completely and utterly unable to handle it or pass myself off as a ~normal person able to function normally~ no matter how much i tried. lately i wonder if the combo of my chronic pain/other physical illness problems and my various mental things makes it almost impossible for me to find and hold down a job that also isnt miserable for me yknow. as far as mental health goes my long term job at the flower farm was good because i didnt have to do customer service and my coworkers aside from one were very understanding of my audio processing issues and would explain things or help me until i was able to do things right and that was great. but on the flip side that job was so physically demanding that it literally broke my back and now i dont know if im even physically able to really do a job that i got my associates degree in horticulture for! like i dont think im physically capable of working on a farm anymore and i dont know how physically demanding greenhouse jobs would be in comparison but i also know that those are tough competition.

ive been hoping that there would be an opening at the library i volunteer at which i could maybe get but at this point im kind of giving up on that option because theres almost never any openings and when there are its like librarian students from the nearby uni get preference which makes sense. like two days ago i checked indeed for my area and saw that the humane society that i used to volunteer at has two different job openings so im going to work on applying for those but im also really filled with doubt because of how physically demanding the description of the job sounds. i am very good with taking care of animals and cleaning which is a lot of what the job would be but idk i just am worried that i just am unable to hold down a job like i said before.

also just feeling very discouraged and disheartened lately i just have so little faith in myself and am constantly doubting myself and feel like giving up on everything. last night i had really awful trauma nightmares which isnt unusual i have a lot of nightmares but the ones last night really shook me up because it was all these people from the past and the present including my parents my abuser and people i love like humiliating me and yelling at me about how nothing i did or created was any good and that its all trash and embarrassing and that i just need to give up and that wanting to be an actor is just a fairy tale dream that isnt possible and stuff with my parents throwing things at me and just very stressful. and idk i do feel like giving up a lot lately im always begging the universe for some kind of sign of what im supposed to do or some kind of help from the universe but instead i just get nightmares of people telling me to give up. but i wont ill keep trying even if its hard

anyway thanks if you read all this. love you and hope yoyr days going well

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sweetdejun · 4 years ago

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someday // l.t.y.

summary: several years after high school, when you and your peers have all established careers, you get invited to your graduating class reunion.

pairing: lee taeyong x gn!reader

word count: 2.4k

genre: exes!au, angst, some closure.

a/n: mentions of alcohol, UNEDITED

You knew this day would come, but not this soon.

It feels like it came fast when in reality it’s been almost seven years since you graduated from high school. It took a handful of odd jobs after receiving your bachelor’s degree, but you were able to land a position as an accountant. With your hard work, you’ve slowly climbed up the ladder to where you now serve as the finance director of the firm you work for. Your salary is handsome, as per your standards, and you were recently able to afford a nice apartment. It was only after your move that you visited your parents on the other side of the city where they handed you the envelope in your hands. It was an invitation to your high school reunion.

That's how, fast forward a week later, you found yourself standing in front of your old high school gymnasium. You see people walking towards the entrance and feel stupid because most of them seem to be going with another person, maybe a friend they would keep in touch with or a significant other. Maybe you should have coaxed one of your co-workers and bribed them with drinks or something afterward. Too late now, you thought, as you sighed and made your way to the entrance. Upon arrival, the first thing you notice is the reasonably large group of people scattered throughout the room. It’s dark and the only light sources are the few disco ball lamps projecting multicolored circles throughout the perimeter of the room. You squint to try to make out people when seconds later, your thoughts are interrupted by a shrill, “Y/N!” You turn your head towards the sound and find an adult Jisoo approaching you. Jisoo was one of your closest friends you kept in touch with for a while but lost contact with a couple of years into college. “Jisoo, is that you? Oh my god, it’s been ages! How are you?” you hugged her, and she began to share how shortly after graduating college, she applied for a job as a photographer at a fashion agency, but she ended up landing a job as a model. Long story short, Jisoo was now a thriving model. “I’m so happy for you!” you gush with sincerity and she gets shy, combing her fingers through her hair. She tells you that she may have just landed her big break, about to fill you in on details when an oh-so-familiar voice cuts her off. “Hey guys,” you turn around and your eyes meet Lee Taeyong.

Taeyong and Y/N: the “dream team” as they used to call you back in high school. You shared a long and valuable relationship with him, dating almost throughout all of high school. That's why when people heard that you split up, they were more shocked than they would have liked to admit. it was a rather nasty breakup that was not mutual at first; he had gotten into his dream university located across the country while you chose to stay in your home city for college. You didn't want to stop him from achieving his dreams of becoming a pediatric dietitian; you would have hated yourself for acting that selfish. Therefore, you thought things could work via long-distance and they did for a while, but the harsh realities like not being able to hold each other in your hard times set in faster than you wanted to admit. Your schedules were becoming increasingly incompatible, and it became difficult for either one of you to grasp onto the relationship. You both watched as it slowly slipped away from your hands. Taeyong was the one to pull the trigger, and with heavy hearts, the two of you officially parted ways.

You have not contacted each other since then. Now, the two of you stand face to face, and you see an emotion in his eyes that you don’t recognize. Perhaps it’s because you successfully managed to forget the negative memories from all the ones you still have of him. Or maybe you just forgot how to read him. “Uh, Y/N, I wasn’t expecting you to show up,” he awkwardly rubs his hands together as he slowly shifts his gaze around the room. “Yeah, I wasn’t going to come, but I decided to come just for the fun of it. Bit of a last-minute decision, actually.” Jisoo could sense the tension in the air and playfully scoffed, “really? Y/N, I thought you weren’t the type of person to make last-minute decisions. You used to grill me for doing that all the time.” You notice the surprise looming on Taeyong's face; he must’ve been taken aback by your statement too. You turn away from his careful gaze before coldly replying, “people change over time, I guess.”

After Jisoo finds someone else to catch up with, you quickly excuse yourself to the bar to grab a glass of punch because there is no way in hell that you want to be left alone with Taeyong right now. The walk over to the bar is a little difficult, mainly due to the lack of light, but you manage to make it without bumping into anyone else. as you pour your punch in a cup, someone clears their throat in front of you. “Johnny Suh!” you gasp, a smile forming on your face. Johnny and you used to be neighbors in high school but right after graduation, he and his family moved to Chicago. You were very sad at the departure of one of your only friends, so you were beyond thrilled to see him again. You shuffle around the table to give him a hug that he gladly reciprocated. “I thought I saw you walk in. how are you, Y/N?”

“I’ve been well. Busy, but well. When did you get back?” He tells you that he recently got a job at an accounting firm, right here in the city. When you ask him where he says the name of your firm. “No way! I work there, too!” Johnny lights up at this, you talk about the work-life, how the people are, and share your experiences.

You fail to notice that across the room, a pair of eyes have been following you ever since you left them alone a few moments ago. Taeyong watches, with a pained gaze, as you reciprocate what is obvious flirtatious behavior from Johnny. Truthfully, when Johnny moved away, Taeyong remembers being a little happy on the inside, because he wouldn’t have to hear you talk about him so much. If he didn’t know better, he’d say that Johnny harbored a small crush on you. When he brought it up, you used to throw your head back in laughter, before pinching his cheeks and calling him cute. That same feeling begs to ignite again, but his head is quicker than his heart, as it forces him to look down at the thin silver band wrapped around the ring finger of his right hand. You’ve moved on, he hears, and he tucks his hand into his pocket. Someone walks over to him and captures his attention, pushing the thoughts of you and what could have been to the back of his head.

Johnny gets a call from someone, so he excuses himself from your company, leaving you standing amidst the terrible background music and a half-full cup of punch in your hand. You figure you can go grab some fresh air right about now, so you meander off to the door, before stepping out onto the concrete outside. The cool summer breeze is comfortable against your arms but out of habit you fold them together, the cup of punch firmly held in your palm. You close your eyes and exhale the breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Care if I join you?” Taeyong’s voice rings, shattering the silence you developed briefly. Opening your eyes, you clear your throat before saying, “be my guest.” Taeyong stands next to you, and once he’s in the light you’re able to get a better look at him. The last time you saw Taeyong, his hair was much shorter and cleanly trimmed. He had innocence in his eyes that twinkled with every step. The version of him standing next to you was definitely more mature; there’s a shadow of smile lines and crow’s feet on the side of his face you see, his hair has grown out quite a bit and you can make out the sharpness of his cheekbone and jaw naturally contouring his face.

“Some things never change, right?” He says out of the blue and you cough to offset the growing embarrassment you feel. He’s referring to how you used to zone out into your thoughts when you stared at him, usually from the side. He would always be able to pick up on it, teasing you relentlessly. “Have you been well?” “Did you move back here?” The both of you asked at the same time to one another, awkwardly laughing off the collision of your questions before you said, “you first.” Taeyong nodded, “I moved back here almost a year ago actually. I was transferred to a small hospital and they knew I was from here, so they figured it was easier to send someone who had a feel for the demographic.” You bit your lip, and he continued, “I didn’t realize how much I missed this city. It was only after I moved back that I felt like this is where home was all along. How about you, did you ever leave?” You shook your head, “I had all my opportunities here, so I never felt the need to go anywhere. I have been perfectly happy and I never felt better,” and as you speak, you notice Taeyong pull his hand out of his pocket to scratch his ear and light reflects the ring resting nicely on his ring finger. You try not to let your eyes widen too much, but you can’t help it if your heart shatters in your chest. “You’re engaged.” Taeyong winced at the change in your tone; he wanted to avoid this topic. “Uh, yeah. Yes, I am.” You attempt to play it off, looking away from his analyzing gaze. “Who’s the lucky person?” Taeyong looks outward with a certain fondness as he recalls details of his significant other. He says they met in one of his classes, saying they “were the best friend he never had”. You listened on as your walls started to break.

“I proposed shortly after I found out I was transferred here. They moved here with me, actually.” You nodded, recognizing all too well this feeling growing in you. It was reminiscent of how you felt when you broke up with him, but this was much more intense. You painfully exhaled and you knew he could sense it. “Happy for you. I really am,” you managed to say without letting your voice crack. Taeyong was always very straightforward with you, and it didn’t surprise you when he said, “Y/N, I was in the darkest place when we broke up. They helped me get out of that. I know it was not an easy decision to make, which is why I want you to know that you will always have a place in my heart. We spent so many years together, it’s natural that you and I will always be something special.” You turn the other way, and this time, you can’t stop the tears from falling. You couldn’t face him anymore because you don’t want to reveal to him that a big part of you still wanted him. Seeing that ring on his finger and hearing him gush about his partner reaffirmed all that. Now, all you wanted to do was to get out of there. “I’ll be honest, sometimes it still feels like I haven’t gotten over you. Even if I did. Know that I will always love you and that you’ll always have a piece of me.” Taeyong says, and a small whimper leaves you. “I’m a mess, Taeyong,” you croak. “I built this strong wall and convinced myself that I was okay. Tonight you’ve proved me wrong. I tried time and time again to find someone else to introduce into my life but no one comes close.” You finally wipe your eyes and turn back to face Taeyong to find silent tears trailing down his face. “I was hoping you’d be here tonight if I’m being honest. I needed to get this off my chest. I’m sorry for everything, Y/N.”

You breathe, the final bit of teardrops sitting at your waterline. “Thank you, Taeyong. For everything, but especially the memories. I know I can’t fall out of love with you overnight, and I certainly will not ask you to do anything selfish. You know that I just want you to be happy, and if they make you happy, that’s all that matters.” Taeyong wants to reach out to wipe your tears, but he’s afraid he’ll cross a line he set for himself. “Would you still want to be friends? For old times’ sake,” Taeyong asks, hoping you’ll say yes. You feel conflicted but you say, “you’re going to need to give me time, Taeyong. I need to sort things out in terms of relationships, and right now, I don’t think I can take being your friend. That’s going to lead to me wishing terrible things on you two, and I don’t want to jeopardize a relationship that is strong enough as it is. Please, don’t force me to befriend you when I’m broken.” Taeyong is hurt, but the rational voice in his head is telling him that you are doing the right thing. “It’s getting late,” you muster the courage to say, “I should head out but I’m glad you got the closure you needed.” Taeyong offered to walk you to your car, and you don’t know if you can take any more heartbreak, but you let him walk you anyway. The tears are gone for now, but they’ll come back. Taeyong hesitates, “Do you want to meet up for lunch or something anytime soon?” You unlock your door and open it before turning to him. There’s a glint of hope in his eye, and you smile meekly, “maybe but not soon, Taeyong. When I’m ready. I hope you can understand.” He nods almost instantly, and you’re grateful for his reaction. “I’ll see you someday,” you tell him and he nods, waving to you as you start your car and leave, whispering under his breath “someday.”

a/n: AHHH my first ever long scenario. this was much easier to do than a series lol but I’m nervous! I would appreciate any and all feedback you guys have for me, and thank you for reading it!

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chameleonsallinvermillion · 4 years ago

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153 Questions for Americans

Listen, as far as I am concerned, America is a place where movies are set. I know you’re all real but you don’t feel quite real, you know. Somebody actually grew up in New York? Impossible - that only exists on TV. I have questions. And somewhere out there, there is an American bored enough to answer them. Or at least some of them.

I feel I should clarify that none of these are loaded questions. I’m asking these with no agenda other than burning curiosity. There’s no judgement or meanness behind them. I’m sorry that I sound incredibly stupid.

1) Do you think of yourselves as American, or does your state come first?

2) Where does the generic American accent come from? The one most people in movies have? Is it Californian, cos that’s where movies tend to be made? That’s my current working theory.

3) Is it true that you don’t have egg cups?

4) Is it normal to live in one state all your life and never go to another, even for a visit, or would that be weird?

5) Are all school buses really yellow, like in movies? 5b) Why? Are they all owned by the same company or do different groups keep identical yellow buses for this one purpose?

6) Do you have semi-detached houses in America? They’re never in movies.

^^ These houses! Where two houses are mirror images of each other and share a joining wall. Do you have those?

7) Turkey is your classic Thanksgiving meat, I think? So what’s your classic Christmas meat?

8) There must be an insane number of colleges/universities in a country that size. How do you narrow down your choices? Do most people stay in their home state?

9) Are school sports really as big of a deal as movies make them out to be?

10) How do you decide if your school is an obsessed-with-basketball school or an obsessed-with-football school? Is it regional? Have movies exaggerated this binary too much and I’ve got the wrong idea?

11) Are there any girls’ sports teams at schools or is it basically just cheerleading?

12) What is a pep rally and also why is a pep rally? Who goes to them?

13) Do cheerleaders wear their uniforms around school casually like they do on TV? Wouldn’t a sports uniform need to be taken off post-training for cleanliness reasons? Do they only wear it before training to save the trouble of getting changed?

14) Does the average American family own a gun or are they not as widespread as it is made to seem? Is that regional too?

15) How similar is the culture between, say, Montana and New Mexico? Do they feel like the same country?

16) Do you get sheriffs in cities or is it only out in the middle of nowhere? What’s the difference between a sheriff and a police captain?

17) Is prom as big of a deal in real life as it is in movies?

18) Are prom queens a real thing and, if so, how do they work? Are there duties involved or is it just wearing a tiara for a night? Can anyone be voted in or is there a pre-prom shortlist? Do you have to apply?

19) What is stereotypically American, from the perspective of an American? I know what the stereotypes are over here, but how do you stereotype yourselves?

20) Why does Alabama have a reputation for incest? Is there a historical basis or do people just not like Alabama very much?

21) Is it true that you don’t have roundabouts, or do you just not have as many / don’t have them everywhere? (You might call them something else - the little islands in a crossroads that you have to circle round)

22) If you were asked to name European cities, what would be the first ones you would name?

Clarification: If somebody asked me to name American cities, my brain would immediately go: New York, Los Angeles, Chicago. By the time it had thought of those, it would already be saying: Las Vegas, Washington DC, New Orleans, San Francisco. Then, Detroit, Miami, Seattle, Boston, Baltimore. After that, I would have to actively stop and think of another one. So, if somebody just says ‘European cities - go!’ what does your brain immediately leap to?

23) Are those gigantic supermarkets (superstores???) standard across the country? What do the big brands (Walmart?? Target?????) look like in cities? Are they still that huge?

24) Do the big grocery brands have specific personalities/reputations? What are they? Which one do middle class people look down on, for example?

25) Is deep-frying everything something you really do or is it more of a regional delicacy / special occasion type deal?

26) Do the states that are more “famous” (California, and the like) feel more or less American because of it? Are you a cultural beacon, or are you an independent entity shackled down to the rest of them?

27) Do the states that often get ignored (Montana?? Iowa?????) feel more or less American because of it? Does your isolation make you separate, or are you bound together into a greater whole?

28) I get that different states have different laws. So say one state said you could get a driving license without having to take a test, but the next state insisted on standardised testing. Would a license issued by the first state still be valid in the second state? Could you cross the border to the state with easier specifications just to get a license?

29) Which universities / colleges are really the ones with good reputations? Obviously, places like Harvard and Yale are world-famous but I don’t really know any others unless a character in a movie is aspiring to one. Which are the names that command respect amongst real people?

30) Is the average American’s knowledge of geography or history beyond the US as poor as it is commonly described? Or is that more of a joke and the average person is perfectly well-informed, with a few outliers?

31) Are those red cups in party scenes a convenient movie prop, because they’ve become the stereotype of “oh, that cup has alcohol in it” or something, or are they actually used that universally? 31b) If they are that ubiquitous, what happens when red is the colour of the enemy sports team? That seems like something people would care about.

32) Do you really recite the pledge of allegiance at school every day? If yes, is it done sincerely or just because it’s tradition?

33) Are flags as popular a décor choice as popular media seems to suggest?

34) Which state has the reputation for having the most attractive / sexiest people from it, or the people you would most want to date? Why? (I’m assuming this won’t be fully universal, but there are definite stereotypes of ‘guys from this region aren’t the romantic sort’ and ‘girls from this region are easy’ in other countries so you must have something)

35) What kind of cheeses do you have? This probably sounds insane, or possibly a little patronising, but whenever you see cheese in an American context, it tends to be those little plastic squares that look like linoleum flooring. Yet Americans are really into putting cheese in everything, so there must be other types. But I couldn’t name a single type of cheese off the top of my head as being a known American cheese. So what are the standard cheeses of an American household?

36) Is that “biscuits and gravy” thing that people sometimes post pictures of when talking about the difference in biscuits across the Atlantic actually a thing people eat? On what occasion? And if that’s gravy, what do you call the stuff you pour on meat and potatoes? Are they both gravy?

37) Do young people really hang around at shopping malls all weekend, or is that a movie thing?

38) Do Americans eat custard? I’ve never heard an American mention custard.

39) If you had to pick an area of the country that is “where rich city folk go to pretend to get back to nature despite being afraid of dirt” where would it be? Or does every state have their own bit where people from their own cities go to buy big old houses and complain about phone reception?

40) Why do Americans still talk about themselves as being, for example, “a quarter Welsh, a sixth Irish, a bit Swedish, but mostly German”? I don’t mean the people whose parents moved there, but the people who have been there for generations. Do you really feel connected to the cultures/countries your ancestors were from? Is “American” more of a circumstance than an identity?

41) Is Easter a widespread secular event in America or purely religious-based? What would a typical Easter celebration involve? Do you have the fruit cake and funny hats, like we do?

42) If you had to pick one song already in existence to be your new national anthem, what would it be and why?

43) I know that it is possible to be made to repeat a grade, possibly several times, if you don’t get the required exam results. How common is that? Does it happen a lot, or is it more of a threat to hold over kids?

44) Are there limits on how early you can legally drop out of school, or could a child stop attending at any age? For example, where I grew up it would be illegal to leave school before the age of sixteen but movies seem to imply you can drop-out earlier in the US.

45) What is homecoming? Who is coming home, and where from?

46) What is a more important social event: prom, or homecoming?

47) Can anybody attend homecoming, even the freshmen? I have this vague idea sports has something to do with it and it would seem logical that some freshmen play sports but how does that work logistically?

48) Does homecoming also have a queen? Do she and the prom queen compete in some way? Which one outranks the other?

49) Are there buses in America? Other than the school bus or the occasional long-distance coach, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bus in American media. Does a standard public-transport bus system exist? Is it only in some places?

50) Why are trains not a more popular mode of long-distance travel in America? Or are they but it doesn’t make for as dramatic a movie scene as a desperate non-stop road trip?

51) Are freshmen and sophomores really called that? Is it colloquial, or would you see it on official paperwork?

52) Do teenagers get to choose which subjects they study to exam level at high school, or does everybody have to take a final exam in everything?

53) Are places like Puerto Rico, or American Samoa, thought of as extensions of the country? Do they seem American to mainland Americans?

54) Does Alaska ever feel left out, being up there on its own?

56) Teen novels seem to suggest there’s an endless succession of school dances in high schools. Spring dances, winter balls, proms, homecoming, ladies’ choice dances… Is that true? If so, do people really care about them or is non-attendance no big deal?

57) Is Halloween as big an event as movies suggest, or was Hocus Pocus not representative?

58) Sometimes from the outside, it seems that we know more about what’s going on with American foreign policy than Americans do. Does it seem that way, as Americans, about other countries? That you’re getting information that is not being shared with their citizens?

59) Do Americans really like British accents that much, or is that just a small but vocal handful on the internet? Do different foreign accents go in and out of fashion?

60) What is the whole deal with white shoes and Labour Day? Or was that just a line in Legally Blonde?

61) Do American teenagers really have sex in cars a lot or is that a movie thing?

62) Do American teenagers really sneak out of the house at night a lot, especially via the window, or is that also a movie thing?

63) Are people as blasé about tornados as they seem or is that bravado? Are tornados really that common that people can just shrug about them and carry on with their day?

64) What age are the majority of people when they are learning to drive? Not what age can they legally learn; what age do most people actually learn.

65) How many of the things you might call an American stereotype really only apply to one specific region?

66) Are taxicabs yellow everywhere or is that just a New York thing?

67) Are Sweet Sixteen celebrations a real thing? What happens at one? Is it just a particularly impressive birthday party or are there specific traditions?

68) Are sororities and fraternities as common or as important to college life as movies make them out to be?

69) Why would somebody join a sorority or a fraternity? What’s the point? (I know the phrasing of that sounds critical but I really don’t mean it like that. I just do not have the cultural context to understand what they’re actually for.)

70) So, I know that the price you have on price labels isn’t the price you pay because of tax being a secret. I see you talk about this a lot. Does this mean the amount you’re asked for at the end is always a surprise, or are you all really good at mental arithmetic? Is calculating tax something you learn at school?

71) Do Americans generally have a good opinion of their fellow Americans?

72) Is New York the only place theatre really gets a chance to go big? That can’t possibly be true, it’s a massive continent, there must be incredible actors and writers and stuff hanging out somewhere in South Dakota or something. Is this why the people in Glee were so fixated on living in New York?

73) The garbage-eating drains you have in kitchen sinks…where do they lead to? Can you put anything down them?

74) Which parts of America are the parts other Americans go on vacation? Is it different to where foreigners want to visit?

75) Do any American schools have school houses or is that absolutely not a thing at all?

76) Do American schools have a system of merits or house points or some other way of giving a positive score for good behaviour that adds up to something eventually? Or is good behaviour expected and therefore not given special recognition?

77) What actually is a hall monitor, and is it a position people respect or aspire to?

78) Is it as common for people to drive themselves and their friends to school as movies make out? How is there parking space for that many students with their own cars?

79) How did the town in Footloose have the power to ban dancing? Do individual towns have that much control over their laws and citizens? Does every town council get to make decisions that huge?

80) Are big house parties the most common place for teenagers to get drunk and hook up? It seems like that in movies but surely that would be inefficient? You’d have to keep waiting for somebody’s parents to leave town.

81) What is the deal with Americans hating France? Is that a real thing or was it just a throwaway joke in enough media for me to think it’s a real thing?

82) Why do people not live in national parks?

83) Which states actually count as “The South” and which ones are officially “The North”? Because it doesn’t seem like the line is just drawn across the middle.

84) Whenever you see Americans talking about candy on the internet, it’s always the same six or seven items. Are those just the big favourites and there are lots of other candy types around the place that don’t get a place on personality quizzes, or are there really only a handful of familiar items that are widespread? Do different states have different candy?

85) Which sport is most central to American identity? I’d assume it was one of the three (baseball, basketball, American football) but is one of them more important than the others?

86) Are all your prisons out in the middle of the desert or something?

87) There’s this sort of mythology around an American idea of just getting a plot of land and building your home on it and making it your own, with an implication that you can grab anywhere and do whatever you like with it. Are planning laws that relaxed, or is that more something you could do in the 1800s that has taken up a place in cultural mythology?

88) When kids are hanging out in someone’s yard or an empty lot on a summer day, what game or sport would they be most likely to be playing? It feels like American football, for example, wouldn’t be very good for that, and it’s hard to improvise a net for basketball.

89) Is it strange to live in a large city that nevertheless is virtually unknown nationwide because all the attention goes to the enormous cities? Or are these places known nationwide and it’s just internationally that they get forgotten?

90) How far from somewhere would you have to be to consider yourself in the middle of nowhere?

91) How localised are things like local news or local tv? Is it every state? Every county? Every major town and its surroundings?

92) Does national television have to take place at different times regionally because of time zones?

93) Is there a reason why American recipes measure everything in cups, even the things that it doesn’t make sense to put in a cup e.g. solid items that don’t fill the space so could vary in cup-filling volume? A cup full of butter is a different thing if the butter is in blocks to if it is poured in, as it were, to fill to the edges completely. Is there a trick to it?

94) Is marching band the only kind of band you have at schools? Is there no orchestra? Swing band? Concert ensemble?

95) Why do you have marching bands at schools? Where are they marching to? Do you have a lot of parades?

96) If you had to choose one (non-reality) TV show that best represents what life is actually like in America, what would you pick?

97) What is spirit week? Is it important? Do people take it seriously? I think it might be something that happens at schools but beyond that, I have no idea.

98) How big is a school locker? Apparently big enough to fit a person in but are they standing comfortably or curled into a tiny ball? If it were person-height, wouldn’t it have shelves in it? Does the victim go on a shelf?

99) When you dress up for Halloween, can you be anything? I mean, could a kid going trick or treating conceivably wear any costume at all? It doesn’t have to be spooky?

100) On a similar note, in movies there are always wild packs of children roving around on Halloween, filling the streets with their trick-or-treating. It’s crowded. Kids are running everywhere. There’s a gang knocking on every door. Is that movie magic or is Halloween really like an unofficial street party?

101) Do you have half-term holidays? I assume you wouldn’t call them that. Mid-semester break, maybe? You know. The week off in the middle.

102) Do you have days when you don’t have to go to work or school that aren’t for a special celebration? Just…days when the country stops working? Or, at least, most of it because cafés would always be open on that sort of day.

103) Which is the bigger deal: Thanksgiving, or the Fourth of July?

104) How diverse is the landscape in any given state? If you take, say, Ohio, does it all look like roughly the same place all the way through or are there lots of different landscapes going on? I feel like there should be, but there’s still this very typical image of what Ohio is.

105) Do people care about what clothes they wear to school or does the fact that everybody sees everybody every day mean that it all stops mattering?

106) What makes something a diner rather than a café, a restaurant, or whatever else? What defines a diner?

107) What is the one, singular, most significant place in the USA? (I realise this could be controversial)

108) What would you, as an American, say was the best thing America has ever done, or the most important contribution it has made to the world? There’s no need to be coy here, I’m not asking for a fully-analysed unbiased dissertation on the subject, I just want to know what people are thinking. A person, an invention, an action…whatever takes your fancy.

109) How does a state fair work? Is it really a fair for the whole state? Wouldn’t it have to be the size of a city for that? Does all of that get taken down at the end of the week and packed away, or do bits stay standing?

110) Are music festivals an upper class thing? Coachella seems to be an upper class thing but, then, I don’t really know what Coachella is, only that celebrities are there. Are there other music festivals of significance?

111) When Americans say things like “We drove from New York to California last weekend, didn’t even stop to sleep, no big deal”, is there an element of bravado to that or is it completely genuine? I get that you drive long distances very casually but is there a point where those distances do become a big deal and a serious trip, you just pretend they don’t to mess with non-Americans?

112) Is summer camp a normal thing for people to do, or is it something the minority of people send their kids to but it makes for a convenient movie setting so we see it a disproportionate amount?

113) Is a maths summer camp a thing or was that a joke in one book I read once? What would you even do at a maths summer camp?

114) Is standing just inside the entrance of a shop and yelling a greeting at anyone who walks in a real job or is that a movie joke I don’t have the context to understand? If it is a job, is that the whole job or are you expected to do other things at the same time?

115) Okay, the thing about the gap between the door and the wall in a bathroom stall. Is that as widespread as people say? I mean, is it everywhere? If so, there simply has to be a reason for it, it’s too weird otherwise, so does anybody out there know what’s going on with that?

116) What actually is Kool-Aid? Is it true that you can drink it and use it as hair dye?

117) What is an American Girl Doll? It seems to be a big deal but I can’t really figure it out. Is it just a brand of doll or is there more to it?

118) Are the indicator lights on your cars officially called blinkers or is that more of a colloquial thing? Or not a thing at all? Would they be called that on your driving test? In a car manual?

119) What actually is a GPA? What is it based on? And what counts as a good one?

120) Is pancakes for breakfast a normal thing or a special occasion thing?

121) What are cooties? I feel like I ought to know this, it comes up so often in various bits of media, but I’ve never actually figured out what it means.

122) Is going to a pumpkin patch and just hanging out a real thing? Do you take pumpkins home with you? How about when you go apple picking? Are all these cutesy autumn activities a normal thing to do or is it just in romantic comedies?

123) How do school qualifications work? Are the exams you take at the end of high school, when you’re eighteen or whatever, the only ones that count if you’re looking to get a job? Or are there, sort of, mid-high-school exams that could also count towards something? Is it just “high school” then “degree” or are there other levels, is what I’m trying to ask.

124) What is making out? By which I mean, what makes something “making out” rather than just kissing? Where’s that line drawn?

125) I understand that school newspapers are a thing. But do people pay to buy them? Other students? What kind of things do you write about in a school paper?

126) How does seeing the doctor work? Do you book an appointment with a local practitioner? Are there clinics? Does everybody wait until it’s an emergency? They don’t see doctors on TV unless they’re dying.

127) In Glee, they had slushie machines in the school. Which were used as weapons of bullying. Is that real? Are you allowed slushie machines?

128) Why is the president addressed as “Mr President”? Is there some historic reason? It seems odd to me, like calling somebody Mr Shopkeeper or Mr Insurance-Salesman. Is it because it is so clearly not a peerage title and that was important when America began? That’s my working theory based on no history whatsoever.

129) I understand that tipping servers at a restaurant and so on is very, very important but does that extend to other jobs? Do you tip postmen, for example, when they deliver your mail? Or shop assistants for bagging up groceries for you?

130) Is a school mascot a) a real thing and b) a position of prestige?

131) How do Girl Scout cookies work? Do the Girl Scouts make them themselves from secret recipes? Is it just a cookie company they happen to have a good relationship with for bake sales? It seems important but I can’t unravel the mystery.

132) What’s Delaware like? No stories ever seem to be set there. Nobody ever really mentions it. What goes on in Delaware?

133) Somebody mentioned something called “color guard” once, which I think is something that happens at schools, but I don’t know what it was or whether they were messing with me. I’ve never knowingly seen it in a teen movie. Tell me about color guards. It sounds so fake. What are they guarding?

134) I know that legal drinking age is twenty-one, but what age would you say the average person started drinking? I don’t mean “had a glass of wine at a family dinner” but I also don’t mean “drank to black-out”. Just…drank socially with the aim of getting at least tipsy.

135) I can already tell that this is a silly question but what is under the bleachers? People seem to have clandestine meetings there a lot, but I thought bleachers were just benches. How do you get under them, and what is there once you do? Is hooking up there something people do in real life?

136) How small is a small town? Is it based on population or more on facilities e.g. if it has a certain number of basic shops, it becomes a normal-sized town?

137) Movies seem to think that being involved in music or theatre at school is deeply uncool. This is so contrary to my own experience at school, that I have to ask whether it is true or not? If so, is there a reason why or is it just one of those adolescent mysteries?

138) Does everybody have those netting screens over their windows or is that only in regions prone to, say, mosquitos?

139) Do small towns tend to have their own little tiny high schools or do the students have a long commute every morning to a bigger high school elsewhere? How far is considered acceptable/normal to travel to get to school?

140) When it comes to prom, is it considered really important to get a date or do lots of people turn up alone / with friends? If you do have to have a one-on-one date, is it usually romantic or is it acceptable just to pair up with a friend? Movies are very intense about this and I’m not sure the portrayal is accurate.

141) Do most schools have big theatre auditoriums with fully-functional stages and raked seating, or is that just High School Musical?

142) Is sex ed really as poor as people joke about it being, on average? Is abstinence education the norm, or is it rarer but we hear about it a lot because it’s so controversial?

143) Are chastity clubs at schools a real thing? If so, why, when almost all students must be underage? I mean, I know people are having underage sex but why make a club about obeying the law? I don’t mean for this to sound all judgemental, I’m just really lacking the cultural background to make sense of this.

144) Which is the most popular state, the one the fewest number of people hate? Is there even one that is universally well-liked?

145) Would you normally refer to your country as “America” or “the US” or “the USA” or, I don’t know, some other variation? It seems pretty interchangeable but is there a preference?

146) Is the “no outside food in the movie theatre” rule as rigorously enforced everywhere as general media would suggest? TV shows make it seem pretty militant but they might be exaggerating for comic effect.

147) Is kindergarten a part of the compulsory school system or is it more of an optional pre-elementary-school step that only some people attend? What do you do in a kindergarten?

148) What makes somebody a redneck? Is it just a catch-all for the rural poor or is there something more specific behind it?

149) Why is spring break supposedly this wild party time? What makes that a more suitable time for crazy shenanigans than, say, the autumn? Or July?

150) What is the difference between college and community college?

151) If you could pick one place to add as a new state, where would you choose?

152) If you had to get rid of one state, which one would you kick out of the union?

153) What is a letterman jacket for and why is it called a letterman jacket?

154) Washington DC. How does it work? I understand that it’s not a state, but if it’s not a state in a federal system, who governs it? Who runs the schools? And if the big elections are held by every state collecting their votes, figuring out the majority, then passing that on or whatever, how does Washington DC vote? Do they have people in the electoral college, whatever that turns out to be? What is going on there? Do real people actually live in DC or is it just politicians / people who serve politicians?

If you’ve actually read this far and have even the slightest intention of answering any of these questions, you are a true angel and I love you. I’m sorry they’re not divided up into thematic groups or anything like that. I’ve been collecting this list for a few years now and I thought I might as well just ask at this point.

#somebody has to be bored enough for this #please #america #americans #questions

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promethes · 5 years ago

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how an idiot like me got into good schools

A quick run-through of my academic history and how I got into good colleges will be below the cut! I’m also including a list of some of the schools I got into for reference. I apologize in advance for how messy this is, but my memory is shitty and I remember random things that I keep throwing in lol. (and for people congratulating me, thank you very much, but I got into all these schools last year lol! so keep in mind I graduated high school in 2019)

If all you came for are the basic stats and you don't want my rambling: I went to a public school GPA: around 4.4 on 4.0 scale (3.9 unweighted) SAT: 1520/1600 APs: 10 (4 3s, 2 4s, 4 5s) Extracurricular: mainly NHS (around 300 volunteering hours), StuCo, Varsity Golf, and Quiz Bowl

EDIT: comments made by the readers who reviewed my application are available here!

First off, I am not an einstein! I am blessed that I pick up on stuff easily and gifted in academics, but I’m nowhere near a genius. For a little backstory, I went to a public school in Michigan for the entirety of my pre-k - 12 education. When I was in the third grade, the district introduced an accelerated program. We took a quasi IQ test and if we tested high enough (I think the threshold was 80%? If I remember correctly I got a 97) we were put in a class that was 2 years ahead in English and Math. We stayed grouped together for the rest of our public schooling, basically a core group of around 20 people. Since we were the first year of the program and our grade was exceptionally gifted for some weird reason, it was a very high achieving group of students, so I’m going to include their stats along with mine for comparison because colleges also factor in your peers when they look at your stats.

I’ll start off with basic stats:

I got a 1520 on the SAT. My grade had around 5 - 10 people achieve over 1500. Some of them had been studying for years, while others (me) did not know that the SAT existed until that year and couldn’t afford any private tutoring and had no patience for the study books from the library. I’m lucky to have an aptitude for the skills they were testing. I did not take any SAT subject tests.

For GPA, I think I ended up with around a 4.4 on a 4.0 scale. I was around 15/350 when it came to class standing, so I was far from the valedictorian. I think our valedictorians got around a 4.6 or 4.7.

I took 10 AP tests. I got a 3 in APUSH, World History, Language and Comp (I fell asleep lol), and Chem (I will get into this class a little later). I got a 4 in Literature (I fell asleep. Again.) and in Psychology. I got a 5 in Calc AB & BC, Comp Sci Principles, and Environmental Science.

AP classes were really pushed in my high school, especially onto my grade, and I don’t like being told what to do lol so I pushed back and took fewer AP classes than most of my peers (valedictorians ended up with maybe 15? It’s crazy) and basically only took classes I was interested in or that I had to take because I had exhausted the rest of the curriculum.

I also dual-enrolled in 2 classes at the local community college since I’d exhausted the curriculum at my high school for things I wanted to do (english and comp sci). I want to make it clear that I never sat down and planned how I was going to maximize my schedule or how I’d take the most advanced classes, I just fell into it since we had already essentially skipped two grades. Most people didn’t dual enroll since they wanted the AP GPA boost.

For extracurriculars, I mainly focused on Quiz Bowl, Golf, NHS (volunteered around 350 hours in 3 years I think) and Student Government. I never had any leadership positions and just kind of fucked around most of the time. Most of my peers held several leadership positions throughout the years and did like a bazillion things. 5 of them even traveled to Europe for some science research thing where they presented their research. I was not that big of a nerd.

In junior year, I stumbled on something called Questbridge and decided to apply because I wanted the money for the scholarship. I became a Questbridge college prep scholar, which then led me to apply for the National College Match. I didn’t rank any binding schools so I didn’t match, but I did apply to several schools with their application. If you are a low-income high achieving student, I highly recommend looking them up. I was the first person in my school to do this program and encouraged my peers to do it too. I think 4 of us were Questbridge scholars.

As you can see, I had good numbers, which probably got me past the first wave of application look throughs. However, I’m fairly confident that what made me stand out was my essays. I always stress this to whoever asks me for advice: do not write a perfect essay, write YOUR essay. I can only imagine how bored those poor people are of reading about someone winning a soccer game or a spelling bee. Add some pizzazz in there. Talk about your flaws and your mistakes and your unique life experiences!

For example, my personal essay wasn’t even in essay format! I wrote it like journal entries, focusing on my sophomore year when my life was Extra Tumultuous and I was going through homelessness. I did not say I was homeless once in the essay. I just did day by day entries of what my life was like during that time and through that the readers were able to see that I loved to read, that I am fiercely protective of my single-parent family, and they saw how I handled adversity. I want to stress that I’m not encouraging poverty porn at all. I did not write it to make the reader feel bad. I simply relayed what I thought about in a day, focusing on both big and small.

I also wrote about funny things related to academics, partly to explain my transcript and partly to be funny. This is the AP Chem thing. I actually dropped out of it after one term (so about a third of the way through) so I could dual enroll in a class I was interested in instead. My chem teacher HATED that since I was good at chemistry (hate it. Hate that subject so much) and tried to convince me to stay. One of the things he said was “You’ll never be ready for college if you don’t take this class! You wouldn’t even be able to pass the AP test!” so I said bet. dropped the class and signed up for the AP test that same day and showed up almost every day for the rest of the year and dicked around the entire class, taking naps in the back of the lab, sitting on his desk, cracking jokes about whatever he was teaching. I got a 3 on that exam purely out of spite with only half the information I needed. So write about stuff like that. It’s fun.

The fact that I had no guidance in writing the essays was actually really good for me since I just kind of let loose. My UChicago essay read like I was on crack, and they loved it so much that they literally mentioned it during the welcome speech for their little college visit in April.

And don’t sweat over the small stuff! The short answers don’t have to be perfect and mind-blowing, just answer honestly. For the “why Yale” supplemental essay I just ranted about how beautiful their library is for a good 300 words (at some point I said I needed my inhaler because it was that breathtaking. I made a Yale admissions officer read that.) I ranted about Howl’s Moving Castle to Columbia. I told them my favorite magazine was the American Girl ones for their arts and crafts! I have a friend at Columbia who literally sent them a picture of her in a duck costume as a supplement. They loved it. So don’t lose your mind trying to sound worldly and educated. You’re like. 17. Just answer honestly and don’t think too hard about it.

I was also extremely lucky to have a dedicated counselor who sat down for hours with each individual student to write fantastic letters of recommendation. She really made it clear what I had achieved and what challenges I’d faced.

So. tl;dr: I got lucky. Unless your parents donated a couple billion to the school, there are no guarantees. Sometimes you can have the stats and perfect essays and amazing extracurriculars and you can still get rejected because they don’t think you’re a good fit with the school compared to the rest of the applicants. There’s limited space in the student body. I got into schools my valedictorians didn’t get into even though I was academically less than them in every possible way. So let yourself shine through your essays and know you’ll end up in an environment that values the person they saw in those essays.

I got into a lot of schools, and don’t really have a record of all of them, but here are some of the top ones I can remember off the top of my head:

Yale, Columbia, University of Chicago (likely letter), Northwestern, University of Michigan, Northeastern, CWRU, UNC Chapel Hill, and a couple other schools here and there that slip my mind at the moment.

#og #college #college masterpost #abt me

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psychologyofsex · 4 years ago

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The True Story of How I Became a Sex Educator and Researcher

Our professional biographies tend to serve as a “highlight reel”—they only say the great things we’ve accomplished and don’t reveal the struggles, challenges, and uncertainties that went into building a career. To lift back the curtain on this, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (SPSP) recently asked a number of scholars to submit their official bios along with their “unofficial bios” that reveal an extremely different version of the story with more twists and turns.

You can read some of the examples here. Although I didn’t participate in it, I thought it would be fun to do something similar on the blog. So here goes—I’ll start with my official bio, followed by the real, behind-the-scenes story.

Official Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

Dr. Justin Lehmiller received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University. He is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 50 academic works to date, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality (now in its second edition) that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller's studies have appeared in all of the leading journals on human sexuality, including the Journal of Sex Research, Archives of Sexual Behavior, and The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Dr. Lehmiller has run the popular blog Sex and Psychology since 2011. It receives millions of page views per year and is rated among the top sex blogs on the internet. In 2019, he launched the Sex and Psychology Podcast. It ranks among the top sexuality podcasts in several countries and has been named one of “11 sex podcasts that will help you get better in bed” by Men’s Health.

Dr. Lehmiller has been interviewed by numerous media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, CNN, The Atlantic, The Globe and Mail, and The Sunday Times. He has been named one of 5 "Sexperts" You Need to Follow on Twitter by Men's Health and one of the "modern-day masters of sex" by Nerve. Dr. Lehmiller has appeared on the Netflix series Sex, Explained, he has been on several episodes of the television program Taboo on the National Geographic Channel, and he has been a guest on Dr. Phil. Dr. Lehmiller has also appeared on numerous podcasts and radio shows, including the Savage Lovecast, the BBC’s Up All Night, and several NPR programs (1A, Radio Times, and Airtalk).

He is a popular freelance writer, penning columns and op-eds for major publications, including The Washington Post, Playboy, USA Today, VICE, Psychology Today, Men’s Health, Politico, and New York Magazine. He has also interviewed several prominent authors, journalists, and psychologists about their work for his blog and podcast, including Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Lisa Ling, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and bestselling authors Christopher Ryan (Sex at Dawn) and Lisa Taddeo (Three Women).

Unofficial Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

When Justin’s parents asked him what he wanted to study in college, he said “psychology.” He had taken a couple of psychology courses in high school that he found to be absolutely fascinating; however, his parents discouraged him from this because getting into a PhD program was tough and uncertain and, if that didn’t work out, they didn’t see much potential in a Bachelor’s degree in psychology. They encouraged him to pursue a career in occupational therapy (OT) instead because a family friend said “they needed more men in the field,” and also because his parents saw it as a path to job security with a pretty good paycheck.

He applied to a 5-year combined Bachelor’s/Master’s program in OT at Gannon University and was admitted. Incidentally, he was one of two men in the entire program. He spent a year and a half in it and made straight As in every course, including biochemistry and physics—but he wasn’t happy. He recognized the importance of OT to society, but it wasn’t his passion. After showing his parents that he was taking college seriously and earning good grades, they allowed him to switch his major to psychology.

Upon completing his Bachelor’s degree, he only applied to Master’s programs in psychology because he didn’t think he had the chops to get into a PhD program right away. The inferiority complex was strong in this one, so he didn’t even try. He applied and was accepted to Villanova University’s Master’s program in experimental psychology. He was not competitive enough of a candidate to receive an assistantship initially, although he eventually received one after another student dropped out.

He really wanted to study social psychology at Villanova, but there was only one social psychologist on staff at the time and several interested students. The only option for him was to beg one of the clinical psychologists to let him do a social psychology study for his Master’s thesis.

As he began looking for PhD programs to apply to, he met Dr. Chris Agnew at a meeting of the American Psychological Association. Chris was studying romantic relationships and Justin thought that sounded like a fun thing to spend his life doing. Plus, Chris was a super cool guy who seemed like a fantastic mentor. He applied and was admitted to Purdue’s social psychology program, although he was initially waitlisted (and rejected from all but one other program). Justin’s plan was to get his doctorate and become a college professor. Teaching and research sounded like things he could probably do.

Justin was assigned to teach a Health Psychology course at Purdue during his first year. He had never taught a class before and quickly realized that he was very uncomfortable with public speaking. The class was a disaster. Attendance dropped 60-70% within the first couple of weeks. He had no idea what he was doing and dreaded going to class each day—and he received poor evaluations in the end.

Around the same time, Justin submitted his first academic paper to a journal, it was promptly rejected and came with this review: “This manuscript is fatally flawed and of marginal utility, which is a shame because potentially interesting questions could have been asked given the topic and timing of the research. The tone of this manuscript represents the worst in scientific misconstrual, particularly because the claims are silly, wrong, or not warranted by the data.” Justin clearly sucked at both teaching and research—and if he couldn’t do those things well, how would he ever become a college professor?

He also started hearing horror stories from advanced students in his program who couldn’t find jobs and were sticking around for 6 or 7 years in the hope of eventually landing a job—any job. All of this led Justin to question what the hell he was doing with his life. Maybe he should have listened to his parents after all? Chris encouraged Justin to stick with it, though, as did his friends and mentors.

The next year, Justin got assigned to be a teaching assistant for a human sexuality course taught by Dr. Janice Kelly. It changed his life. He had to lead weekly discussion sections with students and answer their sex questions (a subject he knew next to nothing about, having attended Catholic schools most of his life). He read about sex extensively and instantly knew he had found what he really wanted to do with his career. He saw it as something fun and interesting—but also a way that he could make a real difference. He realized how little most people actually know about sex, and how education can correct so many harmful myths and misconceptions.

An opportunity to teach his own human sexuality class opened up the following year, and he took it. This time around, teaching was different—he was passionate about the subject and the students were, too. He had no problems with attendance. He ended up teaching this course six times before he graduated and eventually received a teaching award for it. He found that he loved being a sex educator.

He also found a solution to his public speaking anxiety: he started taking a beta-blocker (propranolol) on public speaking days, which removed physiological symptoms of anxiety. This allowed him to feel like himself in front of a crowd and, after just a few months, he no longer needed to take the medication—the anxiety had gone away completely.

He started conducting his own sex research, too, including a series of studies with Dr. Kelly on friends with benefits. His research skills improved and his studies started getting accepted instead of rejected.

He eventually landed a job at Colorado State University as an assistant professor, where he stayed for three years and continued his work as a sex educator and researcher. His partner couldn’t get a job in the area and had just taken a job in Boston, so Justin applied for every academic job within two hours of Boston. He was turned down for all of them. As a last-ditch effort, he applied for a teaching position at Harvard but had absolutely no confidence in it. He almost didn’t submit the application, but his partner encouraged him to do so. Justin had applied to Harvard’s PhD program previously and was rejected—if they didn’t want him as a student, why the heck would they want him as a teacher?

To his great surprise, he got the job at Harvard, where he stayed for three years. However, he had given up his tenure-track job in Colorado for a teaching position in Boston with no job security. So he decided to reinvent himself just in case things didn’t work out. In his spare time, he started a blog, wrote a human sexuality textbook, and became a freelance media writer. Communicating about sex science to the public became his hobby and was going to be his backup career in case the college professor thing didn’t work out.

Eventually, Justin’s partner wanted to move to Indianapolis for a job opportunity, so they left Boston. But Justin didn’t have a job at first and his backup plan wasn’t yet enough to be a full-time job. He knew the Kinsey Institute was nearby, so he drafted a letter to the director in the hope of establishing a connection, but he never sent it. He had a severe case of imposter syndrome and did not feel accomplished or experienced enough to have anything to do with what he saw as the premier hub for sex research in the world.

Much to his surprise, the associate director of the Institute reached out to him after he moved to Indiana to explore opportunities for working together. It was actually his hobby/backup plan that caught their eye—they were interested in working together to disseminate sex science to the public and were impressed with what he had done with his blog and social media.

Justin affiliated with Kinsey, but also jumped back on the tenure track with a job as the Director of the Social Psychology Program at Ball State University, which fortuitously opened up about 4 months after he moved to Indianapolis. After 3.5 years, he decided to leave full-time academics and do his own thing. His science communication hobby had managed to grow into a full-time job and it was no longer feasible to do that and academics. Plus, he found that the science communication work was really where his passion was. So, the backup plan officially became “the plan.”

Justin now spends every day finding new ways to help educate and inform the public about the science of sex. He’s still not sure how things ended up this way, but wouldn’t trade his current job for anything.

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Image Source: 123RF

You Might Also Like:

How Do You Become a Sex Researcher?

So You Want To Be A Science Blogger? Here’s What You Need To Know

Sex Question Friday: What Is A Sexologist And How Do I Become One?

#sex education #sex research

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nekojitachan · 5 years ago

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Okay, so the A/B/O fic won with two votes (LOL, voting counts, people). But I still have time tomorrow, so may do the HtSaM and I’m still plotting out the Spiderman fic.

Anyway, This is like the first scene, just to give you an idea (A LITTLE) of how things will work out in this world.

Uhm... don’t think there’s much to reference for triggers here, other than Neil’s past (very vague).

*******

Neil watched from his seat in the bleachers as the maintenance crew cleaned up after Millport’s graduation ceremony – a graduation ceremony he’d attended despite some misgivings in the end. He’d decided that it would raise less questions if he disappeared after receiving his diploma, one more student who wandered away without any prospects, than be a no show.

His duffel bag was at his side and packed, he merely needed to decide on Reno or Chicago (north or south) as the place to buy his next ID – did he want to return to Canada or try Mexico? The States never had brought him any good luck, it was time for something different.

While he pondered his choices, the bleachers creaked as someone approached – Hernandez. “I didn’t see your parents anywhere,” the counselor said as he sat next to Neil, blue tie askew and grey-shot hair mussed as if he’d run his hands through it a few times.

“No, they’re too busy working. Besides, it’s no big deal, just high school,” Neil murmured as he tapped the folded piece of paper against his knees. “Not like it’ll do me much good.”

“Your grades aren’t too bad, especially for math and Spanish. Mrs. Engles said you’ve a talent for languages, that you speak French better than most of her students.”

Neil winced as he thought about that slip, about responding in the language the one day when he’d been too tired to think straight. “Still not going to do me much good when I can’t afford to pay for university.”

Hernandez grunted as he stood up. “About that, come to my office, would you?”

Neil hesitated for a moment, suspicious of the man, but during his year in Millport (several months too long, really, but he’d been so tired after his mother’s death), Hernandez had done nothing to make him doubt the middle-aged beta. Had asked about his parents, had constantly pressed snacks on him and asked about his health, but hadn’t tried to hit him or appeared to be working for his father.

So Neil followed, figuring that the counselor would press one more college or scholarship application on him (wasn’t it too late for that stuff) and then he’d be on his way, off to another city by the night’s end.

“You’ve got a lot of potential,” Hernandez said while they walked, the start of his usual spiel. “I know it seems that things are easier for the alphas, that they manage to claim whatever they want, and people feel that omegas need special help, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any support for betas. In fact, there’s groups out there who are doing their best to make things equal for everyone, regardless of their classification.”

“It’s been the same way for centuries, I doubt it’s going to change anytime soon,” Neil murmured as he thought about his father and fought to rub his fingers against the side of his neck, where he’d applied the scent patch earlier in the day; it should still be good for a few more hours.

“No, things are already changing, and they’ll continue to change as more people take a stand.” Hernandez gave Neil a significant look before he opened the door to his office, as the scent (odor) of an unfamiliar alpha washed forth to overcome the familiar one of the friendly beta. “I think you can help, too.”

“Who- no,” Neil denied as he shook his head even while Hernandez all but shoved him into the office; he gripped the straps of his duffel to both hold on to it better and to use it as a potential shield/weapon even though the stranger merely stood still on the other side of the room, muscular arms folded across his chest and wearing an orange jacket bearing a familiar fox head logo. “Fuck, you’re a Fox,” Neil breathed out.

Hernandez winced, probably at him swearing, then motioned at the alpha. “Neil, this is David Wymack, and yes, he’s in charge of the Palmetto Foxes. I asked him to come here to meet you.”

“Pretty mouthy for a beta,” Wymack chuckled; he was taller than Hernandez and had the typical ‘alpha’ build, was broad-shouldered and looked as if he could pick Neil up and snap him in half with ease (looked too much like Neil’s father even if his skin and hair and eyes were darker). Yet his smile was friendly and eyes warm… though Neil knew to never trust someone by their appearance. “Hernandez there sent me your files and I can use someone mouthy who has a talent for languages to help out my crew. What do you say?”

No, this couldn’t be happening, not the Palmetto Foxes; the straps of Neil’s bag burned against his palms as he thought about the binder inside of it, of how the man who ran the Palmetto chapter of the Foxes had invited him, someone who’d once dreamed of attending the Edgar Allan academy, be part of the same ‘crew’ as Kevin Day, who’d run from the prestigious school for alphas to join the Foxes.

Just how much more fucked up could Neil’s life become? What next, would he bump into one of the Malcolms when he went to buy more hair dye or a bus ticket?

“Kid, are you having a panic attack?”

“No,” Neil managed to wheeze out while he shook his head; if Hernandez wasn’t blocking the room’s only exit, he’d make a run for it. “No, I don’t think it would be a good idea, me joining the Foxes.”

“Neil, don’t make a hasty decision here, this is-“

Wymack cut off Hernandez with a slow shake of his head. “Look, can I talk to Neil alone?” he asked, and only the fact that he didn’t back it up with any of the usual alpha posturing kept Neil still when Hernandez agreed after a slight pause.

“I’ll be right outside the door,” he told Neil, which wasn’t as comforting as it sounded. “You’ll be all right, I promise.”

It was quiet in the room for several seconds after the counselor left, then Wymack cleared his throat, which made Neil jump a little. “Seems like a nice guy, he clearly cares about you.” The alpha cleared his throat again and pushed up the sleeves of his garish orange jacket, which revealed tribal flame tattoos on his thick forearms. “Look, you seem a little familiar with the Foxes, so you must know that we take in people around your age from troubled homes regardless of their classification and work with them to earn an education in return for them helping out others. We’re trying to teach a generation that it doesn’t matter if you’re an alpha or beta or omega, that we’re all human.”

Neil stared at the man to make sure if he was finished then sighed. “Am I supposed to slow clap now?” When Wymack glared at him, Neil reminded himself that he was pretending to be a meek beta and shuffled a step back. “I don’t see why you’re interested in me.”

“Because when everyone’s not studying online, they put in some hours at a call center that provides assistance to… well, it’s usually omegas and betas in need,” Wymack admitted. “I could use someone who speaks French and Spanish, and from what Hernandez said, you could use both the degree and someplace safe to live.”

“I already have someplace to live,” Neil lied, indignant over the implication even if it was true.

“Yeah? Then how come Hernandez suspects that you’ve been crashing in the various locker rooms here some nights, hmm? That you seem to avoid your parents as much as possible?” Wymack appeared smug when Neil glanced aside, upset that the counselor had picked up on him sleeping at the school since it at least had running water and heat, unlike the abandoned, partially constructed house which he’d been squatting in for most of the year. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on at home, but this is a chance, kid. Don’t be stubborn and take it.”

It was a risk, is what it was… but Neil was tired of squatting in and breaking into places to bathe and… and he was terrible at living alone, of being on the run without his mother. She might have ‘only’ been an omega, but she’d had the will of an alpha, had been so strong and focused, had kept him focused.

If he left on his own, how long until he just… just ended up rooted somewhere like he had in Millport again? At least if he accepted Wymack’s offer, he’d be one in a group, could blend in and build up some supplies, could properly plan for once. He’d have a stable address to receive his patches and contacts, and could work on a new ID if needed.

There was a risk with Kevin being involved, but he looked nothing like the ten year old kid he’d been the one time they’d met, eight years ago. He smelled nothing like Nathaniel Wesninski anymore, especially when he used the patches.

It should be all right.

It had to be all right, because Neil didn’t have any better ideas.

“When do you need an answer?”

A pleased grin spread across Wymack’s face as if he realized that he’d won. “I’m here for the night and leave tomorrow at 10am. I’d much prefer to take you back with me, unless there’s something holding you here for a few days.” It was as if he feared that Neil would change his mind once he was out of sight.

“I… give me the night to talk to my mother,” Neil lied as he shuffled his feet again. “But there shouldn’t be a reason why I can’t leave with you.” No, that would be plenty of time to grab one or two things that weren’t in his bag, change clothes and apply another patch.

Now Wymack appeared concerned. “Do you need my help when you talk to her?”

“No, it’s better that I do it alone,” Neil said in a rush. “She doesn’t like strangers.” That was an understatement.

Wymack didn’t appear pleased to hear that but was mollified when Neil signed an agreement to work for him in exchange for a scholarship, room and board, and a small stipend. Hernandez almost burst into tears when he was told and would have hugged Neil if he hadn’t stepped out of reach in time.

Wymack also wasn’t pleased when Neil chose to run home that evening instead of accept a ride, but he soon would learn that Neil did things his own way. Neil promised to be at the airport on time then left, mindful to make sure that neither man followed him ‘home’.

Since he was leaving the next day, he stopped by the grocery store for food and a few items, such as wipes so he’d be clean enough the next day without taking a shower. Considering it lucky that he’d just dyed his hair a couple of days ago, he went to the rest room after he paid so he could clean up and change clothes, then went to the laundry mat to wash anything that was dirty and ate his supper while he waited.

He thought about how nice it might be to have a shower every day again, or wash clothes whenever he wanted, or to sleep in a real bed….

It was another night on a plywood floor with the sleeping bag, another night where he slept in snatches, always on the alert for any sound which might indicate someone trying to sneak up on him. As soon as the sun began to rise he was up; he had a breakfast of fruit and granola bars washed down with energy drinks, then used the wipes to clean himself before he applied another scent patch. While it sunk into his skin, he checked that everything he needed was in his duffel bag; anything he was discarding was rolled up in the sleeping bag, which he would throw out in a dumpster on the way to the nearest gas station.

He cleaned up once again when he reached the gas station, just to make sure he was presentable for the flight, and brushed his teeth. Then he bought a couple of snacks and used the pay phone to call a cab to take him the airport, where he waited for Wymack to meet him at the one check-in station.

The alpha was surprised to see that he didn’t have any luggage to check and gave him an odd look as he handed over Neil’s ticket. Neil did his best to act nonchalant when they went through security, to not worry about his fake ID, but the TSA worker barely paid him any attention.

There was a reason his mother always made him present as a beta, even though his build was small enough to pass as an omega as well; people didn’t think much of betas, didn’t expect much trouble from them. Betas were amicable and hard-working and common.

If the TSA agent had known that he’d just dealt with a null? Well, the place would probably be on lockdown by then, with Wymack swarmed by guards and placed under arrest while Neil was (carefully, but all the same) hauled off to a secure location, was sequestered from everyone.

A null was anything but common.

A null didn’t just walk around without an armed escort, oh no.

A null, so rare that there were only a handful known to exist at a time, were cherished and protected (were owned) by the most powerful families. Families which used them for their abilities to remain unaffected by an alpha’s aggressiveness or an omega’s emotional manipulation, who wasn’t triggered by a heat cycle or overwhelmed by pheromones. Everyone around Neil was susceptible to their own nature, could be weakened or enraged by a mere scent or a growl or look… but not him.

It would make him feel powerful if he wasn’t so terrified of the artificial scent which fooled people into thinking he was a beta failing, of them realizing that he didn’t have a scent, and everything his mother had sacrificed for him would then be for nothing.

Ha, nothing, just like him.

However, no one called him out as a fake and he was able to board the plane, even though the scent of cigarettes which clung to Wymack made him want to dig the pack out of his bag and light one up, to hold it near his face so he could inhale the smoke (and let it wash over him, to add its scent to his own as yet another layer to the mask).

Wymack waited until they were in the air to speak. “Look, some of the others… most of them mean well, but a few of them are rather rough. If you have any trouble, come talk to me, Abby or Dan. Abby’s the group’s nurse and unofficial den mother, and Dan’s like my second in command.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s not like I’m going to cause any trouble,” Neil insisted before he opened one of the magazines he’d brought along to keep himself distracted during the flight. After all, he was pretending to be a quiet beta and had every intention of keeping his head low for the next few months before he moved on.

“Sure, you say that now,” Wymack muttered before he opened a notepad and started writing things down.

Neil didn’t know why the man was so worried – it wasn’t like he was the one who had a serial killer father hunting him down because of a weird genetic quirk. However, he decided to keep that fact to himself, since he planned to be long gone from Palmetto before anyone had a chance to figure it out.

*******

I guess if I wrote more, I would have to figure out a name for the damn thing? And it’s more A/B/O/N at this point. Obviously I’m playing with Neil being Demi/on the Ace spectrum here (though it’s not such a rare thing in the real world, I have to have some reason for him to be in the run).

I think what’s held me back from writing this (well, other than FREE TIME) is what the heck would the Foxes do?

#nekojitachanfics #mumbling into the void #aftg #andreil #at least eventually #neil josten #david wymack #a/b/o dynamics #with a twist #aftg au

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arlocedwards · 4 years ago

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╰ ✧ HARRY STYLES. MUSE NINE. PANSEXUAL ❞ say hello to the s club’s very own ARLO EDWARDS! a TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD, CISMALE that goes by HE/HIM pronouns. i heard they were voted BEST SHOULDER TO CRY ON in high school, which says a lot about them because they’re very IDEALISTIC and INTUITIVE, but watch out for their DETACHED and DESTRUCTIVE side as well. i hope they’re ready to take a break from being a MUSICIAN and finally get this summer started! ( kt / 24 / pst / she/her )

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is some info about my bb, arlo. ** insert clown emoji but make him yee-haw **

trigger warning : death .

NAME: arlo cornelius edwards. GENDER: cismale. PRONOUNS: he, him. AGE: twenty-four ( 24 ). BIRTHDAY: february 14th. ZODIAC: aquarius !! HOMETOWN: kent, england. ORIENTATION: pansexual OCCUPATION: drummer. LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english & french. FACECLAIM: harry styles ~ currently featuring long hair. :’-)

kt’s note: I KNOW THIS IS SO LONG, SO IF YOU DON’T READ IT, I WILL NOT GET OFFENDED.

but, just read this so y’know what you’re getting yourself into when interactions open : death tw: arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴀʀʟᴏ'ꜱ ʙᴀᴄᴋɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ

arlo was born in kent, england. i know what you’re wondering, and yes, he does have an accent. :’-) his family moved to new york when he was five years old because arlo’s father was offered a high level position within his company.

arlo was born into a loving family, him being the middle child. he has two supportive parents, sasha edwards (his mother), & carter edwards (his father). there are two years separating him from both his older brother and younger sister. his older brother ( now deceased ) was named holden edwards, and his little sister is named ivy edwards. his older brother can be imagined as eric matthews from boy meets world ( at the end of the day, they were bffs ) & his little sister is quite literally cher horowitz from clueless mixed w/ a splash of bianca stratford from 10 things i hate about you ( they are polar opposites which makes for a fun dynamic !! )

growing up, arlo enjoyed playing all types of sports - there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t really good at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual. he would go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. he will fight you over board games and make alliances in monopoly to mess w/ you.

his interest in taking up an instrument kicked in when he was seven years old. he and his dad were driving back from a hockey game together late at night, and his dad played him the song moby dick by led zeppelin & he knew it was something that he wanted to pursue bc “john bonham was a genius.” ~ arlo vc. and so his dad gifted him a drum set on his eighth birthday !! :’-) soft. but over the years he was exposed to other instruments and can also play the guitar, piano, and he has a nice set of pipes !! harry styles being his vc as well ~ makes it easy. he really wants to learn the saxophone tho??? don’t get him started - he will go on and on and on.

throughout highschoool ; arlo was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not! just soft things.

until now - now anti-soft. hard things. sdgjdjgd okay, so, arlo is A Mess™️. and i say that with so much love in my bones. arlo is the type of friend that is honest, and all about tough love when it’s needed. he doesn’t mind getting into a fight or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. he will tell you when you’re fucking up, and if you’re throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it. this ties in l8r !!

he’s just a bit desperate to feel against following the death of his brother & also post-break up with shanley? ( which give me one hot sec and i’ll go into those v soon ) but overall he just wants to feel like himself again, y’know ?? don’t we all. amen & what not. to break it down, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all, and he’s sadly willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels numb. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ MIND YA BUSINESS.

arlo’s lurve life : woo ! okay, welcome back -- let’s get into it. so shanley and arlo dated throughout hs and into their first year of college, for a whopping five years together before they broke up. god if you’ve made it this far, i applaud you...but hmu and let me know your fav color, okay? like and comment below ?? subscribe ?? thx. OKAY BACK TO BUSINESS. in case you’re wondering who broke up with who, gosh so nosy, let me just tell you ‘twas arlo. he did it, we can unfollow his ass now. BUT ~ he didn’t want to ? y’know. he felt like due to the long distance, she was missing out on college experiences and her waiting by the phone for him to call was just sad, and he felt guilty. he wanted her to enjoy her time and felt as if he was weighing her down. although he did try make an effort to fix this doing by visiting her that weekend at her university in chicago, but when he came across her with friends he felt stupid and bailed back to cali again. a couple months later he called her, hoping to apologize for his poor judgement and admit to his mistake of ending the relationship, but she wasn’t the one who answered the phone. arlo assumed the random guy who answered was shanley’s new boyfriend (although , he was shanley’s roommates boyfriend but my sad dumb ass boi didn’t know ). arlo only assumed the voice belonged to shan’s bf bc he swears the voice distinctly said “coming, babe!” ( although he did, just not to shanley) and ever since arlo’s been a bit jaded when it comes to romance. shanley called him back later that day, and arlo shrugged her off bc he was jealous af and drunk - claiming he “butt dialed her and it wouldn’t happen again.” :’-( since then they haven’t been in contact.

he was so in love with shanley, and despite him being the one to end things, he’s never fully gotten over her. he’s definitely hooked up with other people, but my boy is not the committing type after that relationship.

after high school, arlo attended stanford university, as they offer one of the best criminal law programs across the nation. wahoo ! yahtzee !

after graduating college, arlo moved to san francisco & moved in with ali !! they have a nice little place overlooking the golden gate bridge w/ quality acoustics for their creative music projects. / also where he currently lives !! :’-) we love a bromance.

while in san francisco, arlo attended university to continue on pursuing his law degree and after two years was able to graduate with his juris doctor.

TRIGGER WARNING : DEATH / CAR ACCIDENT / DRUNK DRIVING. the death of his brother is very recent, like four weeks ago recent. arlo and his brother were road tripping across the states back to their family home in NY to visit their parents, when a drunk driver struck the driver side of their vehicle, which on impact killed his brother. arlo has survivors guilt as a result from the accident. he and his brother had switched seats a couple minutes prior to the collision, after arlo had asked to switch with him in order to rest for a bit. :’-( miraculously, arlo was unscathed in the greater scheme of all things injury-based. he’s entering the villa w/ a couple broken ribs, broken left arm and scrapes/cuts. so plz sign his cast.

post-break up with shanley, they had some type of unspoken agreement of trading off years of who gets to attend the summer( aka who has custody of the sclub ) and so last year, arlo did not attend. however, this year, they somehow got their info wrong about who was going / not going, so they have found themselves here at the same time. this being the first time they’ve seen each other since holidays during their first year of college previous to their break up. so get ready for some spice.

last summer, since arlo wasn’t attending the sclub reunion, he was taking the california state bar exam. which is only offered twice a year - he opted for the one in july and passed! :’-) he spent some time after the exam in europe with hastrid. <3

however, arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

overall : arlo truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his chaotic energy. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day.

however rn, with his current state of mind, arlo is just going through the motions. numbing himself with unhealthy outlets and has a different type of mentality. definitely engaging in a bit of the more chaotic activities, as well as leaving everyone alone to their own vices as well. whereas his typical behavior would be more so attempting to lead them onto a better path if it meant well for their overall wellbeing.

habits : smoking cigarettes ( ali likely nags him bc they aren’t herbal ) . staying up into the early hours of the morning, and yet somehow still an early riser ( hence, he drinks an absurd amount of coffee ). yeah, hence. - get it, from the house bunny? sdjfkngdg any who, he’s in a phase of numbing via alcohol and drugs rn.

personality type : INTP - T / THE LOGICIAN

moral alignment : chaotic good

tarot card : the hermit ( currently )

character inspo : connor walsh from how to get away with murder, jess mariano from gilmore girls, & ambrose spellman from chilling adventures of sabrina ( literally his #1 ranked personality match on a quiz i took ) !! so, we have that ! and also a heavy sprinkle of seth cohen from the o.c.

ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

the album ‘fine line’ by golden child, harry styles in this case will be used as a hc for arlo. arlo wrote and recorded the album - all songs included, with his muse being shanley over the course of the last couple of years. he’s just kind of been sitting on the entire thing, never really feeling it was the right time to release his work/side solo project...but later this summer, he may just leak it. :’-)

arlo is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school.

those who inspire him : roger taylor, mick jagger, alex van halen, john bonham.

LUNA : ali and arlo co-founded the band with friends edie dorn and guy perkins in junior high. playing gigs where they could as often as possible. arlo was on lead vocals, ali as lead guitarist, edie on bass, and guy on drums. although when it came down to recording and what not they seemed to bounce around when it came to other instruments - v experimental. the band took off in college, prior to something strange and over the years they’ve produced numerous albums and have won a couple awards.

red roses are his Thing™️ ; fans of the band will walk up and hand him them. i think that’s soft. and i am here for it.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured.

fun fact : dirty dancing is v much so a sharlo movie. they used to practice and be able to successfully pull of the jump & lift dance move literally just for fun / bc they wanted to. after nailing the lift, they learned the entire dance - i can't. dfjkgndjkg SOFT.

arlo has all of harry’s tattoos !! makes it simpler, might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

also the ‘ h & s ‘ rings that will be seen in photographs later on are for his brother, holden, and bbg, shanley </3

arlo is a gucci enthusiast - having much of his closet filled with staple pieces over the years. to further his love for the brand, he was recently asked to be in an upcoming campaign for the fall season - he’s v jazzed about it.

ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

𝖌𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖑𝖚𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊 ( open connection ) : with arlo being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may constantly worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉 / 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖎𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖙 ( open connection ) : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embracing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details.

open to other connection you may have in mind! :’-) LMK!!!! <3 i love me some chemistry !!!

ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ( featured on arlo’s connections page here !! )

𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖋𝖎𝖙𝖘 ( taken - simon peralta ) : these two went through rough break ups of their own, and a rebound didn’t sound too bad to either of them at the time things started. it may not occur all the time, but they sometimes still find themselves offering up to one another. this occurred more frequently then any of arlo’s one night stands, obvi, but it never surpassed anything other than the physical aspect of their relationship. the nature of their relationship outside of the bedroom can go either way !!! :’-)

𝖆 𝖇𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick ) : as if living together for the past two years wasn’t enough, ali & arlo are also roommates every summer that arlo attends the sclub reunions. these two are always laughing, and saying some ridiculous ish. you’ll likely hear loud jam sessions and howling laughter / the occasional excited shouting back and forth from their room in the late hours. they are truly nothing but a good time and tbh, they know it. that and the fact that they have the best hair in the villa. djfgnjkdfg FIGHT ME !!

𝖍𝖎𝖌𝖍 𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖑 𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 ( taken - shanley evans ) : these two began their relationship in their freshman year of high school - spending five years together before breaking up in their freshman year of college. * cries in sharlo * they were the “it” couple, no pennywise included … unless ? anyways, everyone thought that they were going to get married, and arlo was v much in love / thinking shanley was his romantic soulmate. yet when they did break up everyone was shookith - even the birds and the bees.

𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick , willow finch , sirena rose ) : these four formed something strange. arlo is the drummer of the group, and also writes some songs for the group. they’ve blown up over the years and are a quite successful group.

𝖛 𝖘𝖎𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌-𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕 ( taken - sirena rose / willow finch ) : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. pure relationship.

𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖔𝖗 𝖉𝖎𝖊 ( taken - delilah jacobs ) : ride or dies ! need i say more ?? these two have one anothers backs despite anything and everything going on otherwise. they play in to one anothers antics and enjoy one anothers presence as they can likely be seen dragging one another across town and causing a bit of mayhem together. you can catch them in their beautiful, bitch #1 & #2 tee's.

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖈 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖔𝖓 ( taken - ramona verdez ) : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although arlo may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around. with arlo having his law degree, he’s always able to squeeze them out of trouble before it gets too serious, so trust - it’s ok !!

𝖚𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖑𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 / 𝖕𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖗 𝖔𝖕𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken - izzy de la rosa ) : these two may have ran in the same circle, but were complete opposites when it came down to their personalities / styles / perhaps even humor, so it was expected for them to stand their distance. however despite the odds, they just clicked !! opposites attract and what not, ya dig?? somehow their dynamic just works and they have a lot of fun together by introducing new things to one another.

#( ❛ ᴀʀʟᴏ ᴇᴅᴡᴀʀᴅꜱ | ɪɴᴛʀᴏ . )#so long - whewwww!#if you read all of this.....i owe you all of my love #schq:intro

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marky-mrk · 4 years ago

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hello everyone! i am happy to bring back mark to the malnati and introduce him to those who don’t know him. below the read more will be his stats and a general idea of who he is around the hotel and what led him to finding a job as the recreational manager! please feel free to reach out to me here or on discord if you want to plot with this little weirdo.

— && guests may mistake me as ( chace crawford ), but really i am ( mark forester + cis male + he/him ) and my DOB is ( 5/31/1989 ). i am applying for the ( recreational manager ) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite ( 202 ). i should be hired because i am ( hardworking, positive & reliable ), but i can also be ( impulsive, cocky & stubborn ) at times. personally, i like to ( run, rock climb, bar hop, attend sporting events & go hiking ) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work.

Full Name: Mark Anthony Forester Face Claim: Chace Crawford Date of Birth: 05/31/1989 Sun Sign: Gemini Gender/Prefered Pronouns: Cismale, He/Him Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Occupation: Recreational Manager at the Malnati Hometown: Chicago, Illinois Length at the Malnati: Three years MBTI: ENFP, often described as enthusiastic, charismatic, and creative. People with this personality type are very charming, energetic, and independent. They are creative and do best in situations where they have the freedom to be creative and innovative.) MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good, a lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished.

Life Before the Malnati:

Born and raised in Chicago, Illinois as the third child and baby of the Forester household. He has an older brother who has been the black sheep of the clan as far as he can remember, leaving Mark no option but to be the golden boy. His father runs one of the top marketing firms in the city and his mother is an interior designer. They grew up in Wicker Park for most of his life and his parents just recently moved out to the suburbs.

Sports have been his niche ever since he was little, first picking up soccer and tee ball but progressively moving to excel in lacrosse and soccer throughout his formative youth. Because of his natural athletic ability he became pretty popular with his peers and wore that golden boy status proudly there too. Prom King, a member of student council, yearbook club - you name it and Mark was your guy.

While the social aspect of school was important to him, grades were just as important and he excelled in that aspect as well. Further garnering that affection from his parents because he was exceeding all expectations. After high school he went to the University of Illinois with a partial sports scholarship for lacrosse. He joined a fraternity and ended up graduating summa cum laude in his class majoring in Marketing.

The most obvious next step after graduation was taking a roll at his father’s company and he played that role so well for a couple years. Except the suits and the ties and the stuffy old men was slowly stifling all the creativity and joy he held so dear to him. There was no more fun and instead just meetings after meetings about things that didn’t matter in the long run. So after finding and applying for the opportunity at the hotel, he quit. His father has still never forgave him for this.

Life During the Malnati:

An avid hiker and adult intramural player he applied for the job at the Malnati on a whim. He had a passion for sports and athletics and the drive and experience that made him a natural for the recreational manager. It was a completely different career change but one he hasn’t regretted in the slightest.

Getting people psyched to move their bodies and stay in shape has been a fun effort in regards to targeting guests and staff at the hotel. He absolutely adores his staff and lets each of them know he will do whatever he can to be there and support them in all that they do. He likes to think he’s the fun boss.

If he’s not in his office, or up in the lobby distracting any of the other employee’s then his time is mostly spent outside of the hotel. He had a strict work hard, play harder motto and loves to have a good time. Whether that be hanging off the side of a rock wall, taking a quick five mile run to get the creative juices flowing, hitting up the closest dive bar, or spending too much on season tickets to the Cubs and thus trying to go to every game, he is certainly always down to go get into trouble.

#malnatiintro #malnatiooc

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anotheronechicagobog · 5 years ago

Text

Ava Bekker x reader

Togther written by @anotheronechicagobog

Warning: TRIGGER WARNINGS, attempted murder, arson, being forced out of the closet, fleeing to another country, being rejected entry, corrupt police, fear of the police, compliance for fear or violence, swearing

Hope you like it @sasssystephden

@chimerahh

Belarus was your home, it was where you grew up, and it would always be a part of you. Unfortunately, you couldn’t be a part of it. You didn’t move to Chicago, you fled to Chicago. Being a lesbian was not something that people could ignore, so your only other option was to pretend that you were really just a spinster, it was something that they reacted violently to. You hadn’t even come out to your family, you were outed by your so-called best friend. She’d been invited to your family’s Christmas party, along with half the town, and she announced it to everyone.

It was like a scene from a horror movie, everyone turned to you in slow motion, darkness taking over their eyes. They didn’t even ask you if it was true.

You shook your head, not wanting to relive that memory. You turned back to your computer screen. You’d gotten a scholarship to the University of Dijon and gotten a degree in computer science, it made finding a job in the states much easier. You felt as though your boss, Sergeant Voight, was corrupt. He did a lot of the things the police in your home country did, and while it was clear he made you uncomfortable, no one knew why. You took your job at intelligence, not because you actually wanted to, but because Voight was interested and you thought he’d make you disappear if you said ‘no’. So you were back to living a good portion of your day in fear. The team didn’t understand why you’d never joined them at a bar afterwards and you were too scared to tell them.

You’d met Brian at your grocery store, a family-run Slavic grocery store and restaurant, you ran into each other so many times that you’d started to become friends. He was heartbroken to learn why you moved to the states, so he told you that he’d be your family. You’d been touched, and as a result, your brother-sister bond was forged.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had taken a while for Brian to convince you to go to Molly’s because the team went there frequently, but he’d managed it. You put on a nice top, jeans, flats, a jacket, and headed to Molly’s before you could lose your nerve.

When you opened the ornate door you were met with warmth and laughter. “Y/N! Over here!” Brian was behind the bar, but there were women sitting on bar stools near him who waved at you. You sat on the seat in front of him and let out a breath. “Y/N, these are my friends, Sylvie and Emily, they’re the paramedics for 51, April, Maggie, Nat, and Ava, they all work at med. Guys, this is Y/N.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet all of you.” Your accent was thick, something that all of the women noticed. Brian placed a glass of vodka on the rocks in front of you, which made Maggie raise an eyebrow and say, “are you Russian?”

“Belarussian, actually. I do speak Russian though.”

“Damn, I am not good at pegging accents. I thought that Ava was from the UK and she ended up being from South Africa.”

“I grew up in an area that had been heavily colonized, something that not many people are aware of.” You nodded, grateful that she answered your question without you having to ask. “So, how do you know Otis?” You must have looked as confused as you felt because Sylvie realized her mistake and spoke again. “Sorry, Otis is the nickname we have for Brian around the station. Sometimes I forget that’s not his name.”

“Oh, okay, well, we kept running into each other at the local market that we started talking, it was nice to speak to someone in Russian again.”

“Ah, so should we be seeing you around more?”

“I suppose so?”

“She’s insinuating that we have an emotional and/or sexual relationship.” Brian’s explanation was blunt and something you appreciated. Although you were fluent in English you didn’t understand all of the slang just yet. “Oh. OH.” You turned back to Sylvie and the other women. “Brian is a wonderful man and any woman would be lucky to be with him, but I am a lesbian, so Brian and I will not be in a romantic relationship.”

“Is that why you moved here?” Emily was closest to you and put her hand on your forearm, sympathetic smiles gracing the faces of all the women barring Ava, she had one of remembrance and understanding. “Yes. A woman I used to be friends with told my entire family and town at a party. No one reacted well.” Nat looked like she had a question to ask but Ava cut her off, “that’s terrible, Y/N. I’m sorry that happened. Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“No thank you, I don’t enjoy remembering that night.” Nat leaned back into her seat and bowed her head slightly. You let out a breath and felt grateful that Ava had intervened. The night went by smoothly after that, Nat had pulled you aside later and apologized, knowing that it was obvious she had wanted to ask an invasive question. “I would love to become friends and I’m glad that Ava stopped me from asking that question, I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I should have known not to pry, I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay Nat, you didn’t actually ask anything, and I can see that it was just a slip of judgement and that you will respect my boundaries. I would like to be friends with you as well.”

“Of course, Y/N, I-”

“Y/N? What’re you doing here? I thought you were visiting a friend tonight?” Detective Ruzek made his way towards you with the rest of your team, his tone was surprised and somewhat angry, causing Nat and your new friends around you to bristle. “I am. Brian is one of the owners and he wanted to introduce me to these lovely ladies.” You smiled, hoping to diffuse some of the tension. “What so you just hang out with him every time we’re not working?”

“Usually, yes.” Brian knew how you’d felt about your job, and had admitted to having negative run-ins with Voight in the past. He’d gone as far as introduce you to his Captain, Matt Casey, who’d gone over how he met Voight in the first place. The meeting was meant to ease your worries, but all it did was increase them. You could see your team growing angry, you knew it frustrated them that you didn’t want to get close to them, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do so. Detective Burgess put her hand on his chest to push him back a bit, and then stepped right into your space, and since you were against the bar you couldn’t back up. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“Detective Bur-”

“I’ve told you to call me Kim. We have all told you to call us by our first names except for Voight. So why won’t you? Why do you avoid us? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. This is it. They’re going to kill you. Escaping Belarus only bought you another year of life, and you didn’t accomplish anything in that time. Your hands were starting to get clammy, and your breaths were getting shallow. “Back off, Burgess.”

“Stay out of this Otis.”

“No. God, can’t any of you get your heads out of your asses? She thinks you’re going to kill her.” Everyone within earshot sobered immediately. “What?” Ruzek’s face had gone pale and Burgess stepped back. “She’s from a country that was part of the Soviet Union and is still heavily corrupt in law enforcement. She only took the damn job because she thought she’d be killed if she refused!” Everyone turned to you and you couldn’t take it. “Mne nuzhno idti.” (I have to go). You bolted out of Molly’s, ignoring those calling out your name, and that you forgot your jacket.

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You broke out into sobs a few blocks from Molly’s. You startled when someone ran up behind you calling your name. You ripped a knife out from your jeans and turned ready to face whoever it was. It was Ava. “You forgot your jacket.” You didn’t respond, just breathed heavily.”Y/N, let’s get you home, okay?”

“I can’t. They know where I live.”

“How about my apartment, then?”

“... Okay. Thank you.”

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Ava’s apartment was lovely. It was clean, classic, and homey. “Would you like something to drink? Water? Coffee?”

“Some coffee if you don’t mind.” She smiled and walked around the kitchen island to get to the coffee maker. “My mother tried to kill me.” You whipped your head away from some photos she had on the wall. “She invited me to stay at our family’s vacation house for the weekend after I came out, she had glued all of the windows shut, then locked and barricaded all of the doors so that even if I got out of my room, there was no way I’d make it to any kind of exit. She’d left a chair in my room, though, I threw it at the window and jumped out. It hurt like hell. The injuries and the knowledge that the woman I’d looked up to not only hated me so much that she tried to kill me, but that she was praised for it by the police when they found out why she set the fire.” A heavy silence hung over the room, choking you in the knowledge that you weren’t alone.

“My best friend told everyone in my town at my family’s christmas party. I didn’t even get time to deny it, even though it’s true, before my dad came at me with a knife. Everyone surged behind him and they were all grabbing weapons, anything sharp or blunt that they could get their hands on. I barely managed to make it to my room, lock and barricade the door. My parents, along with everyone where I grew up, were poor and so I didn’t have a lot. I threw my stuff in a bag and I climbed out the window. I fell on my ankle, but I just started running. I didn’t stop, I just ran to the next town, where there was a train station, I got on the first train to Minsk. I ran to the Canadian embassy first, because gay marriage was legal there when it wasn’t in the U.S., but I got denied entry. I applied to the U.S. right after and got in. It was so hard, just leaving everyone and everything I love behind... But... I had to do it. The only good thing that came out of being forced ‘out of the closet’ was that I didn’t and don’t have to hide anymore.” Ava nodded, she set down her mug and wrapped her arms around you. You wrapped your arms underneath hers, around her middle, and cried into each others shoulders. Crying over everything you’ve lost, everything you’ve had ripped or burned away from you. Encompassing each other in the knowledge that neither of you are alone.

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Chicago became warmer after meeting Ava. You started dating a couple months later when you’d gone skating and she’d just stopped and stared at you. Her eyes went soft and her lips parted. You skated over to her to see what was wrong. “Ava?”

“Can I kiss you?” It came out in one tangled breath. “Yes. Please yes.” She held your cheeks in her hands, you held her elbows in yours, and leaned in together.

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You woke up to Ava kissing your shoulder. A smile spread across your lips. “Goodmorning, Ava.”

“Morning, love. I was called into work, so I have to go, but I left breakfast on the counter for you.”

“Thank you, I hope you have a good day.” Ava smiled, stroked your cheek softly. A feather-light kiss was placed on your lips before she gave a whispered goodbye. After the front door closed you got out of bed and padded your way to the kitchen. You smiled when you saw a plate of fried sausages and eggs on the kitchen counter. Your heart warmed at the thought of Ava making breakfast for you.

It was the weekend so you didn’t have to work today, so you decided to spend the day baking and cooking since you knew that if Ava had been called in on her day off it was going to be crazy, and that cooking is the last thing she’d want to do. So you got dressed and headed out to the market.

Smiling you walked down the street. The day was cool and brisk, only light power on the ground, but it would snow in the afternoon if the weather forecast was to be believed. You made your way to a South African grocery store to pick up the ingredients for chakalaka, Ava’s favourite dinner. You smirked as you entered, your eyes scanning the store.

The house smelled like warm sugar and spices. In part from the chakalaka and in part from the ginger cookie recipe you got from Nat. You and Ava both really liked it and you wanted to make sure that a wonderful meal was waiting for Ava when she got home.

The door opened just as you finished serving the chakalaka, “Ava? How was your day?”

“Wonderful, just like that smell. Is that chakalaka? Oh my goodness, love, you made all this for me?”

“Yes, I hope that this is a good end to a hard day.”

“A wonderful end. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

“I was thinking, Y/N, you spend so much time here, and most of your stuff is here, so... I just... I think we should move in together.” You smiled and wrapped your arms around her neck. “I would love to move in together.” Your foreheads touched and your lips brushed against each other. “Together.”

“Together.”

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tcthestarswhclisten · 4 years ago

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( camila mendes, 22, cisgender female ) Welcome to Bainbridge University, JACQUELINE “JACKIE” CASTELLANO ! SHE is in HER THIRD year studying ART, and is from CHICAGO, ILLINOIS. They are known for being CHARMING, PASSIONATE, PERFECTIONISTIC, and ECCENTRIC.

back on my bs, babes

Basics;

Name: Jacqueline Castellano Nickname: Jackie Age: 22 Birthday: Sexuality: a total lesbian.... Ok sexuality is fluid but for the most part total lesbian Year: Third Course: Art and piano Pets: none Place of Birth/Hometown: Chicago, Illinois Current Residence: Brighton Clubs: Art club president, Music club, Choir arts, Theatre arts, Football

abt but its like….,.,, brief

so Jackie is from Chicago and they’re lower middle class but ya know it be like that with the growing wage gap

she’s an introvert

art is so v much her life but like art of aLL KIND she plays piano and did orchestra in high school and she loves choir and did tons of theatre and is totally into theatre

but she’s not like a crazy theatre kid she’s just trying to vibe and enjoys acting and singing

when she was 17 in her senior year her dad lost his job so they sold their place and moved to europe to #vanlife and like yeah she finished high school but then it was #vanlife for them babes

jackie spent a year traveling with her parents, not really knowing what she wanted to do with her life. And it was easier not to worry about uni when it was so expensive and they’re #broke

eventually her family is like hey go to college and shes like FINE but tbh she really wanted to and she had worked so hard in school to get into a good college so she sent in auditions and portfolios and applied like everywhere and by miracle Bainbridge gave her the most amount of money so she went there! Her parents settled and applied for stable jobs instead of the odd jobs they were doing before, and they’re now vibing but in a flat

she still goes on adventures with them a lot she is so close with her parents they’re so cool

she lives with Maeve and they’re rly cool friends maeve is too good to her and she cries abt it when she’s drunk

does so much…… lots of activities because it’s fine

wants a cat someday someone get her a cat

is rly good with houseplants bc she’s gay

likes long walks on the beach

is ur therapist friend over a glass of red wine

also probably needs a therapist but dont we all

she’s struggling a bit tho bc like she still has a lot to pay to the uni and she’s trying to make money with art and gigs but its hard :/ thankfully she basically has a sugar mama in maeve ngl altho she hates that maeve is so generous bc she hates the idea of charity like im fINE i can sustain myself

idk that is what i have rn

wcs??

lesbian gang

some super chill friends #vibes

she loves women just..,.,, lets have them be hook up buddies or like fwb but she definitely should have a girlfriend someday too

idk what angst we could get into but like pls give me angst

#intro.jackie #bainbridgeintro

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nbbkatherine · 4 years ago

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Connecting the Dots

Homeland by Cory Doctorow; Charlie’s Angels, 2019 Elizabeth Banks film; Numb3rs tv show; You Look Like a Thing and I Love You by Janelle Shane; Parasite, 2019 Bong Joon-ho film; the chilliad by Molly Of Geography webserial; Westworld tv show; Future Friends album by Superfruit; Dickinson tv show; after-words bookstore in Chicago, IL; webcomic name by Alex Norris; American Gods by Neil Gaiman; GINGER by BROCKHAMPTON; Russian Doll tv show.

Woohoo it’s been two years of Never Be Bored! This blog is all about relating different types of media together, and in the twenty-five posts so far, I’ve written about over one hundred books, movies, tv shows, and more. We could plot out each of these posts on a graph—nodes for individual recommendations and edges connecting recs in the same post. So buckle up folks, today we’re going to connect those dots so that we get one, big, beautiful connected graph.

Already some of the work is done. Too Like the Lightning is featured in Really Big Worms and The R Smith Edition. Worm is featured in The R Smith Edition, All Superheroes Need Therapy, and It’s the End of the World as We Know It and I Feel Fine. The first twelve posts all got a bonus recommendation from A Year In Review. Kurt Vonnegut wrote both Slaughterhouse Five from Nonlinearity and Galápagos in And So On. Elsewhere University from Strange and Yet Familiar got a shoutout in A+ in Applied Magics.

Let’s start off easy, making connections with what we’ve already got.

Do you hear that? Arrival, from Nonlinearity, and The Vast of Night, featured in Something in the sky, are two sci-fi movies about listening to aliens. For a modern take, with lots of scenes about trying to figure out xenolinguistics, go for Arrival, but if you’d rather something creepy and retro with dramatic monologues, give The Vast of Night a try.

Takeshi Kovacs is one bad ass mother fucker who is just over this shit, but still somehow gets roped into flashy fight scenes. If you liked that character in Altered Carbon, from To Whom Am I Speaking?, you’ll like the story of Duncan Vizla, aka the Black Kaiser, an almost-retired hitman in Polar, a Year in Review bonus rec to Floor It.

Bright Star (featured in The Northwestern Edition) and Hadestown (featured in It’s an old song) are both blues/jazz/folk musicals about a double love story. Bright Star is loosely based on a Missouri folk tale, Hadetown is inspired by Greek mythology. Both are excellent.

Cosmo Sheldrake (The How How Much Much and I from Strange and Yet Familiar) and Hozier (Hozier and Wasteland, Baby! from Daisies & Death) both create music that makes you imagine old fairy magic in the forest. Cosmo Sheldrake’s “Hocking” is like what I’d envision playing at a fae celebration of summer solstice, while Hozier’s “Wasteland, Baby!” is the sad love song from after the party’s over.

And now, let’s add entirely new nodes to our graph with new recommendations to connect posts.

Too Like the Lightning by Ada Palmer (Really Big Worms, The R Smith Edition) is a very idea-forward book, and (one of) the catalysts that kicks off the story is a stolen newspaper article draft. Ada Palmer is a professor who researches intellectual history, and it absolutely shows in her writing as her books explore the implications of a society based on certain ideas. Cory Doctorow is another favorite author of mine who also writes idea-forward fiction—if you liked Too Like the Lightning, try his Homeland, in which Marcus Yallow is entrusted with an archive documenting government and corporate crime, and has to figure out how to publish it without getting arrested. I would also highly recommend this book, available to download for free from Doctorow’s website, if you liked The Information: A History, A Theory, A Flood by James Gleick (Something in the sky). Although Homeland is fictional, as you read you’ll learn things too—about information security, the darkweb, evading surveillance, and protesting tips.

I want more action movies starring women, because I love a good fight sequence and watching things go boom, but I’m tired of watching men with big guns in movies with, like, one named woman character. Kingsman: The Secret Service (A Year in Review bonus rec to Non je ne regrette rien) just barely passes the Bechdel test, but I will give it a bonus point for having two badass women main characters who aren’t love interests (ugh, the bar is so low). And if you liked the aesthetic of Kingmen’s gentlemen spies, then you might like Elizabeth Bank’s 2019 reboot movie Charlie’s Angels. Naomi Scott, Ella Balinska and Kristen Stweart all kicking ass on screen? Yes, please! Continuing in that vein, see also Ocean’s 8 (Floor It) for an all-women heist crew, set on stealing diamonds from the Met Gala.

My favorite episodes of Hannibal (Daisies & Death) are the one-off monster-of-the-week type episodes, where the FBI is investigating a murder and Will Graham, profiler extraordinaire, is called in for help. If you’re into crime shows like that, try Numb3rs, streaming on Hulu, a tv show about two brothers—one, Alan, an FBI agent and the other, Charlie, a mathematician. Together they solve crimes, using fluid dynamics, disease spread modeling, wavelet analysis, and many more areas of applied math. (I learned a little about sabermetrics, the statistical analysis of baseball, from one episode, so I dropped that term in conversation with a sports-obsessed acquaintance freshman year in college. We became good friends, and I’m pretty sure that conversation was part of why.) For more on applications of mathematics to real world problems, read The Code Book by Simon Singh, featured in On Computability, which details the math theory behind creating and cracking encryption over the centuries.

The Imitation Game, a Year in Review bonus rec to On Computability, is named for an artificial intelligence thought experiment proposed by Alan Turing in 1950, before anything resembling modern computers even existed. In Robopocalypse by Daniel H. Wilson, robots across the globe gain sentience and begin to turn against their human makers—hilariously in retrospect, I recommended this book in It’s the End of the World as We Know It and I Feel Fine back in March. Anyway, between those two extremes, where is the field of artificial intelligence today? To learn more, try You Look Like a Thing and I Love You by Janelle Shane, a truly delightful book that will both show you how far research has come and will reassure you that the robot uprising won’t be happening anytime soon.

Bad Times at the El Royale (Just you, and me, and this gun) unsurprisingly takes place at the El Royale hotel. For reasons that would be spoilers to name, the setting is essential to the plot of the film—the story could not have unfolded in the way that it did anywhere else. This is also true of Parasite, 2019 Bong Joon-ho film currently streaming on Hulu, where many scenes take place in a rich family’s house—which was actually designed and built in pieces for the movie. An absolutely incredible dark comedy/thriller, Parasite explores the things a person might just do to get ahead. For another thriller with characters willing to go to extreme lengths for their own personal reasons, try Thoroughbreds, from Non je ne regrette rien.

Lore Olympus by Rachel Smythe, featured in It’s an old song, retells the story of Persephone and Hades but in a vaguely modern setting—where the two first meet in a crowded bar. For more modernized Greek myths, check out the chilliad by Molly Of Geography, a wildly funny adaptation of the Illiad. Follow along with Homer Bard, undeclared freshman Alpha Sigma Phi pledge, as he recounts the story of the epic prank war against the Trojan House. If your favorite characters from this ongoing webserial are Achilles “AC” Myrmidon and Pedro Klaus “PK” Liebling but were looking for something a little more traditional, then you might like Madeline Miller’s The Song of Achilles, a retelling of Illiad from the point of view of Patroclus, recommended in Is it better to speak or die?.

Firefly (The Family We Made Along the Way) is a tv show with an interesting blend of aesthetics—some people wear dusty cowboy hats and some people live in floating mansions and there’s a scene where the crew get a job to transport cattle from between planets. If you’re into that, try the tv show Westworld, streaming on HBO, about a Western-themed amusement park, populated by android hosts—who talk and dress and live as if it’s the 1800s, looking exactly like humans, with no idea that their entire world is a vacation destination for the wealthy. As the series continues and secrets are revealed, plot twists will keep you glued to the screen. See also Sense8 (To Whom Am I Speaking?), which likewise features lots of action and a cast of characters who keep secrets and deals with the question—what makes us different from each other?

In The Northwestern Edition I wrote about the different a cappella groups on campus; if you like that style of music then you might have heard of the group Pentatonix, the first a cappella group to win the Grammy for Best Instrumental Arrangement. Two members of the group, Mitch Grassi and Scott Hoying, also make up the duo Superfruit, and I adore their (synth-pop, not a cappella) album Future Friends. “Imaginary Parties” (which has an excellent music video) and “Bad 4 Us” are my song recs for Freckle and Caleb respectively, characters from The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo, the five-episode series from Baby if you love me, won’t you please just give me a smile?.

If you’re interested in queer art history, consider following Dan Vo on Instagram, one of the tour guides of the V&A’s LGBTQ tours, recommended in The Eye of the Beholder. You might also like Dickinson, an Apple TV show about Emily Dickinson growing up, writing poetry, getting into trouble with her parents, and falling in love with her friend Susan. Although it’s set in 19th century Massachusetts, the dialogue and music are thoroughly modern, which makes for a fun juxtaposition—in the first episode, Emily imagines going on a carriage ride with Death while “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish plays in the background. For more stories about the life of a queer poet, try Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde, featured in Looking Forward, Looking Back, about her experiences growing up, writing poetry, getting into trouble with her parents, and falling in love with lots of people, in 1940s and 50s New York City.

Here’s how you spend one perfect day in Chicago: you wake up late one November Saturday. Down in the Loop, you visit the beautiful Chicago Athletic Association, which despite the name is actually a hotel, for Chicago Art Book Fair (A Year in Review bonus rec to The Northwestern Edition). You browse brightly colored lithographs and maybe pick up a zine or two. Then you take a walk north, across the river, to E Illinois and Wabash, to after-words bookstore. Down in the basement, you look through the new and used books in search of something interesting. Take your time in River North, find something good to eat, because you have plenty of time before taking the Red Line up to Argyle, to catch a performance of the The Infinite Wrench by the Neo-Futurists, featured in Next!.

In My Favorite Shapes (This Might As Well Happen), we get to hear Julio Torres talk about, for example, an oval looking at his reflection in a pond and wishing he were a circle. Some of my favorite shapes are the pink blobs from Alex Norris’s webcomic name, three-panel comics with a repeated punchline—an excellent of example of how sometimes you don’t need a lot of fancy detail to convey emotion. For another webcomic about the absurdities of life, check out Poorly Drawn Lines by Reza Farazmand (And So On).

Forgotten gods and old magic tied to old places. In Digger (webcomic featured in The Family We Made Along the Way), a perfectly respectable wombat finds herself traveling strange lands and meeting a couple of gods (well, sort of). For another story of an ordinary person who gets caught up in the affairs of gods, try American Gods by Neil Gaiman, about an ex-convict who meets Mr. Wednesday, an American incarnation of the Norse deity Odin the All-Father. The things we are allowed to forget shape us—at one time, Odin had power because many people knew that he was real, but in this book, Mr. Wednesday is weakened because so many people have forgotten him. One of my favorite moments—in just about any written work I’ve ever read— is the line of dialogue in The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemisin (A+ in Applied Magics) that Revealed a Thing Forgotten. You’ll know it when you see it, and any further description would be a major spoiler.

On the scale of how much singing is involved in rap albums, on one side you have something like neo-soul Overgrown (Looking Forward, Looking Back), where Ivy Sole shows off her vocals, and on the other you have R.A.P. Ferreira’s purple moonlight pages (Something in the sky), which has more of a jazz-rap feel. Somewhere in between is GINGER by BROCKHAMPTON, which has both catchy sung hooks and rapid-fire bars; two of my favorite songs off this album are “SUGAR” and “IF YOU PRAY RIGHT.” I’ve seen them in concert twice and I look forward to being able to again, someday.

Lastly, if you liked Palm Springs, from This Might As Well Happen, a rom-com in which Nyles and Sarah fall asleep and wake up on the day of Sarah’s sister’s wedding over and over again, but were looking for something a bit darker, then you might like Russian Doll, a black comedy tv series that begins when two people keep dying and reliving the same night. For another duo of characters with great dialogue bumbling through life and death together, try Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard, featured in It’s an old song.

Here’s a visualization of this blog, with and without labels:

#books #movies #tv #webserials #music #things to do and see #Chicago #webcomics

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sp3ncer-jean · 4 years ago

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&&guests may mistake me as (danielle campbell), but really i am (spencer jean + cis female + she/her) and my DOB is (03/15/1997). i am applying for the (event coordinator) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite (209). i should be hired because i am (empathetic, honest & selfless), but i can also be (pessimistic, fearful & indecisive) at times. personally, i like to (blog & drink wine) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work.

tw; rape, abusive relationship.

Born on the West-side of the city.

The youngest of 4 kids.

Her whole family didn’t have much growing up. Both parents worked weird jobs to get them all through financially.

She was really close to her older cousin, Dan from a very young age. He would take her out often and they got very close.

Most of the family didn’t think much of it until Spencer turned six, and even then it was just weird glances occasionally from family members.

Spencer herself felt like Dan hung the moon in the sky. He was always kind to her and never made her feel stupid. Plus he was older and gave her so much of his time so it always made her feel special.

It was not longer after her eighth birthday that Dan pulled her to the side and said he wanted to play a new game. She was hesitant at first to give him what he explained as “special touches” but he insisted that it would make him very happy, and she always wanted him to be happy.

This “game” went on until she was eleven. She explained it to her father who was horrified after he realized what this game was. He confronted Dan, who was now eighteen, and he denied it.

Not longer after, Spencer’s three brothers paid him a visit. He was found in an alley all alone the next morning, completely naked and unconscious.

Spencer felt like a husk after she no longer had any contact with Dan. So much so that she began to lash out and she wasn’t the bright and happy child that she had been.

Her mother and father started looking into programs for her but quickly realized that they couldn’t afford any of them. After much conversation and tears, they decided to pack her up and send her to her mother’s widowed sister, Maggie.

Maggie was always very eclectic and outspoken and she’d been lonely since her husband died before they could have any children together. She was so excited to have Spencer come stay with her that she gave her her own completely furnished room with a computer and TV.

Spencer was very hesitant to leave her parents and brothers. She knew that their home wasn’t much, but it was home. Maggie lived on the rich side of town and she wasn’t completely sure if she’d be able to fit in over there. Her mother and father both explained to her that she could come visit whenever she wanted and her brothers would come by as often as they could.

After reassurance from her parents, Spencer packed up the very few belongings she actually cared about and moved in with Maggie.

The first few weeks were a whirlwind of shopping trips. Maggie worked from home for a high profile company and her husband had left her a rather large fortune. And Maggie already adored Spencer and spared no expense for her niece. New clothes, games, furniture for her room. Spencer wasn’t exactly comfortable with all the money she knew was being spent, but she already felt as if she could trust Maggie more than anyone else she’d ever met.

Maggie got Spencer into therapy not long after she moved in. Her therapist explained as gently as she could to Spencer what had happened to her. No one up until that point had explained to Spencer that what Dan had done was wrong, because they didn’t really know how. Maggie had to take her home in tears after that specific therapy session.

Spencer’s therapist suggested different activities to help her cope. She began painting, writing, playing various instruments as well as throwing herself headfirst into her academics all while adjusting to her new life with Maggie.

Under Maggie’s guidance, Spencer breezed through middle school. She made a small group of friends and socialized fairly often in and out of school. By eighth grade, she was in all honors classes and even there she was requesting harder and more complex assignments.

Spencer visited often with her family and grew extremely close to her brothers. Her father often still blamed himself for her relationship with Dan but her mother often scolded him for this as lovingly as she could. As they watched their daughter flourish with Maggie, they both knew that they had made the right choice for her, even if sometimes it didn’t feel that way.

Her freshman year of high school, Maggie requested the school test her for her grade level versus just putting her into freshman classes. Maggie knew that Spencer had much more in her mind than she often led on, and insisted that she be tested. To Spencer’s shock, she tested out of both freshman and sophomore year. According to all of her test scores, she was at a junior year level. She was signed up for junior year classes and started her first year of high school.

Spencer was terrified of the potential bullying this situation would be her into, but much to her surprise, she made many friends with her upperclassmen peers. They often came to her for advice and homework help.

She graduated Valedictorian at the age of sixteen. She had colleges seeking her out before the end of her junior year but she didn’t want to leave Maggie. Over the five years she had spent with Maggie, they had grown very very close. Spencer adored Maggie and the little routine that they had just naturally fallen into.

Spencer took courses to become an event planner/coordinator. It was something she’d always enjoyed helping with as a kid and teenager so she figured why not. Plus living in the Chicago area, she knew there would never be a shortage of people needing an event coordinator. She was able to get all of the certifications she needed in a little less than a year. At seventeen, she began going to the University of Chicago. She majored in Psychology and minored in Visual Arts.

College for Spencer was amazing. She started dating not long after she started attending University because in high school she felt like it just wasn’t the right time after all of her trauma and hung out with the potheads on campus.

She met a guy named Tanner on her first day of classes. He was her ideal man, or at least what she thought it was. He held doors open for her, brought her flowers, and held her hand around his friends. But not long after they started getting physically involved, he started to feel like he had some entitlement to her. He started to convince her she didn’t need to spend time with her family and more importantly, Maggie. He started keeping her at his apartment as often as he could. And quickly, it turned physically abusive. He started to convince her she wasn’t worth any of the time anyone else but him was giving her.

Spencer was finally able to sneak away and see Maggie for a weekend. She was telling Maggie what had been happening and she watched her get angrier than she had ever seen her, even after telling her everything that had happened with Dan when she was a kid. Maggie drove her back to Tanner’s apartment and helped her collect her things, as well as reporting him to the campus.

Tanner did attempt to contact her after he was expelled from the University but Maggie was quick to help her get a restraining order just in case.

Spencer graduated with her degree at the age of twenty-one and on the dean’s list. Her whole family showed up for her graduation and she was given a bouquet by each of her brothers.

Her parents offered for her to move back in with them, but she politely declined. She wanted to stay with Maggie and help her with whatever she could.

Maggie would bring Spencer to the Malnati when she had bad weeks at school for a small get away, so when she found out they were hiring, she jumped on the opportunity as quickly as she could.

#character

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thewriterslament · 5 years ago

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writing a resume from scratch

as with literally everything i write, this got really fucking long! like, wordcounter.net estimates this will take 7 minutes to read. so i’ve placed the bulk of this post under a read more

this is not a quick tips kind of post; this is a detailed breakdown of how to write a resume from scratch, with examples that are largely taken from my own resume. this is primarily a resource for people who don’t know where to start with writing a resume, not for people who just want resume hacks

i’m saying all this so i don’t get people in my inbox complaining about how long this is. writing a resume takes a lot of time and effort, and this post does not shy away from that

creating a resume will take you a while, especially if this is your first attempt. don’t be discouraged! take breaks, and don’t try to make the perfect resume on the first try. this tutorial is designed to be completed in rounds

it usually takes me a week to get a new master resume into working order

don’t worry about page length right now. you should make a multipage master resume that contains every relevant experience before making a 1-page resume. after you’ve made the master, you can build custom resumes from it for job applications

this post is best viewed on desktop, because i use nested bullets, and tumblr mobile hates those

let’s get into it!

step 1:

list out everything you’ve ever done that could feasibly count as a resume entry: extracurriculars, jobs, volunteer positions, research, organizations you were a part of (professional or casual), freelance work, long-term hobbies. i will refer to each different experience as an “entry”

for each entry, write where (city + state) and when (timespan) you did that thing

ex. tritones a cappella group, los angeles, ca, august 20xx - present

going forward, update this list as you join or complete new jobs/hobbies/whatever so that you don’t have to wrack your brain a year down the road wondering how long you held down that job or leadership role

step 2:

describe each entry

use bullet points to list out all the things you did within that role. start with the big picture, then move on to the small stuff

big picture: the goal of the role/organization/research, overarching and long-term projects, what results you were trying to achieve + why

ex. “studied the neuroanatomy and synaptopathy of the inner ear to determine the role of glutamate receptors in hearing loss”

small stuff: literal day-to-day tasks, every software and hardware you worked with, any particularly successful moments

basically, walk through a typical day or week in this role and list out every single thing you have to do, even the grunt work.

ex. “used redcap to administer neuropsychological batteries and collect biological data”

ex. “designed and implemented a novel article format that yielded a 10% increase in audience retention”

if you still have access to the original job posting or a corporate description of responsibilities for your role, pull that up and see how much you can paraphrase from it

no duty is too stupid rn. did you google weather forecasts for your boss every week? write it down. you can make it fancy or choose to delete it later

step 3:

fancify this shit

rewrite your bullet points from step 2 with better jargon. tell your employers what you did in a concise yet assertive manner

it helps to break down each point into its most basic components, which you can then generalize or rephrase

ex. “googled weather forecasts” might become “compiled weekly reports on changing data points to assess weather trends over time”

use action words. you can find resources all over the internet for this, but if you’re still struggling, shoot me an ask and i’ll link some of the resources i’ve used myself

caution: you don’t want to sound like you used a thesaurus on every word. make sure you aren’t obscuring the meaning of your bullet points. “googled weather forecasts” should not become “utilized online databases to assemble weekly communications on meteorological variations”

start thinking about how your responsibilities for each entry relate to a) what skills you want to showcase and b) what the employer wants from you. does the employer want you to demonstrate familiarity with online databases, or does the employer want you to demonstrate familiarity with weather forecasts? your bullet point for “googled the weather” will change depending on the answer to these questions

step 4:

look at the big picture

you probably have a metric buttload of bullet points for each entry. now you need to cut that down to what’s relevant. think about which bullets are most impressive, noteworthy, and descriptive of each entry

aim for 3-5 bullet points. any less than that and you have to ask why you’re including that entry. any more than that and the employer’s eyes will glaze over

try to combine bullet points

ex. “identify content and write articles when necessary,” “maintain a pool of freelancers,” and “identify key graphics and maintain tagging structure when uploading articles” all involve the process of creating an article, so they can be combined into: “identify content, assign stories to freelancers, write articles when necessary, and upload with appropriate graphics and tags”

start thinking about tailoring your word choices and bullet points to what the employer is looking for

if you can, pull up the job posting or a sample resume for the job you’re applying to and compare your resume to it. are you using similar language? are you demonstrating similar skills?

jobhero.com is a lifesaver

finally, eliminate redundancy in your resume, both in every individual entry and in the resume as a whole. if a skill can be demonstrated by multiple entries, you only need to list it once

kill your darlings! it may sound harsh, but the things that seem super impressive to you probably won’t even be a blip on the employer’s radar. “but saying i made coffee runs shows i’m dependable and a team player!” the employer isn’t looking that deep, my dude. you can showcase your dependability in your cover letter or your interview

you should redo steps 3 and 4 several times, soliciting feedback from your parents, peers, career center, etc each time

step 5:

add the Other Stuff

education

typically, you should only include institutions for the highest level of education you’ve attended. (undergrad and grad school both count as college for this purpose)

there are exceptions to this, depending on how long you’ve spent at a higher level of education, whether your alma mater will earn you brownie points, whether you had genuinely impressive accomplishments earlier in your life, etc.

once you hit, like, 2 years in college, you should try to get rid of high school achievements and showcase college achievements instead

list the school name, city + state, degree type (BA/MA/etc) and expected graduation date (even if it’s in the future), your major(s) + minor(s), and any related coursework (ie preprofessional tracks, specific courses related to the job). you can list your gpa if you feel it’s relevant, but i caution against doing this once you’ve graduated

ex. (where // indicates a new line) harvard university, boston, ma, may 2020 // bachelor of arts in cognitive neuroscience // minor: english: focus in creative writing // related coursework: pre-medicine, computer science 101 and 102 // gpa: 3.9/4.0 (dean’s list, all semesters)

skills

a list of items without descriptions. you can do a bulleted list or you can list the entries in paragraph form, separated by commas or bold bullets

hard skills: hardware, software, languages (spoken and programming), digital and communication platforms, social media proficiencies, other technologies and devices

ex. microsoft office suite, java, wordpress, slack, familiarity with ap and chicago style

soft skills: general qualities, buzzwords, personality traits

ex. leadership, conflict resolution, time management

certifications and awards

can be one section or two depending on how many of each you have

list each one on a separate bullet point

for each, write the certification or award, the institution that granted it, and the month and/or year you received it if relevant

publications

tbh i just cite my publications in the following format instead of following a style guide

lastname, firstname. “article or chapter title.” book title, publisher (aka company or website). publication date.

if you’re the sole author, you don’t need to list the author’s name

interlude: stretch the truth a bit. don’t lie about having experience or skills you don’t, but if you can reasonably google how to do something, boom! you’re proficient in it. if you worked with two team members who never pulled their weight? you just became the sole project lead. were you a beta reader for anime fanfiction back in the day? you’re a freelance editor, baby!

step 6:

now you have to organize all the entries from step 4

separate your entries into relevant sections. what’s relevant might change based on what you’re applying for

i’ve had, at various points in my life, some subset of the following sections: work experience, volunteer experience, leadership experience, research experience, writing experience, other relevant experience

list sections in order of descending importance

write all entries in reverse chronological order: start with the most recent and work your way backwards

write all bullet points in order of descending importance. unfortunately, i don’t have any quick tips on determining what’s important, but it helps to look at the job posting and see what matters to the employer

i tend to list big picture goals, then personal accomplishments (leadership skills, projects), then daily tasks

step 7:

format this shit

you can find resume templates online or in your word processor. templates serve as a good starting point, but i recommend creating your own format so you can edit and customize it with ease. this will probably involve a lot of fiddling with indentations, paragraph spacing, and moving things around

don’t go smaller than 10pt font

mess around with line and paragraph spacing to get the right balance of white space. if you’re curious about what i use, shoot me an ask and i’ll share my weirdly specific settings

keep an eye out for bullet points with orphan words (ie lines containing only 1-3 words) and get rid of them to streamline your resume

margins can be anywhere between 0.5″ and 1″

consistency is key! make sure each entry has the same kind of spacing. don’t use hyphens in one entry and en dashes in another

in the header, write your name, email, phone number, and address

interlude: save this version of your resume as your master resume. this gives you an unedited list of everything you ever did that you can now pick and choose from when you apply to jobs. update this list every 3-6 months.

step 8:

customize your resume for the job application

unless you’ve been in the industry for several years, your job-specific resume should be no more than 1 page

if you have more than 1 page: compare the job listing and your resume side by side and ask which entries demonstrate your capabilities most effectively, which bullet points are the punchiest, and if there’s any extraneous info

match each job requirement to one bullet point on your resume. then match each bullet point on your resume to a requirement in the listing. get rid of any bullet points that don’t meet either of those criteria. if multiple bullet points match the same job requirement, get rid of the extra bullet points

if you have significantly less than 1 page: see if you can add more bullet points or reformat your resume to introduce some more white space. a 2-column set-up is great for this, with section headers on the left and bullets on the right. do you have any hobbies you’re forgetting about? any soft skills you could add?

emulate the language of the job posting; use the same action words, the same soft skills

coda

your resume should work in tandem with your cover letter, but that’s a topic for another post. maybe in another 6 months i’ll write a post on that, too

always save your resume as a pdf! you don’t want your employer to have access to your metadata

if you made it through this whole post... i’m so sorry lmao but also thanks for sticking with me

let me know if you found this helpful or if this method scored you a job!

#studyblr #adulting #adulthood #job hunt #job applications #applying to jobs #resume #resume writing #studyspo #study blog #mine

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