#like I know I don't Really want to do it. I've felt this way literally since I could form memories. but fuck if it wouldn't b nice to try

[exocynraku]

i finished star, so here's my opinions on the book and ASC as a whole; (spoilers!!! obviously!!!)

star was... mediocre HEAVILY leaning bad. i felt like every single conversation until the last couple of chapters was either an arguement or cats calling out to eachother while fighting. i truly think this book highlights how 90% of the time these cats are so delusionally stupid. riverclan willingly following splashtail because they thought he could make the group stronger was so, so stupid. like, i get what they're trying to do, the kin and misttstar/reedwhisker's deaths DID suck for the group, so obviously they'd want to be strong. but did seriously no one go "erm... guys... this Might be a bad idea.." when he started threatening people and kits and making them fight with their claws? "oh but they were scared from the threats" Riverclan, excluding we'll say splashtail, berryheart, podlight, fognose and brackenpelt (who i think were the two exiled? i literally just read the book and i already can't remember) is EIGHTEEN to FIVE. seriously? and if we was threatening kits if they tried to fight back, couldn't you just... devise a plan to get the kits out before attacking? it just felt like such a shambled together plot. and further switching it, pretending they were ONLY fighting splashtail, he's even MORE outnumbered. if you're worried about him coming back to life after dying, just... kill him again! it's so egregious. i'm not going to lie to you guys, so little this arc made sense plot wise with what happened with riverclan and shadowlcna's conflict. this series bring the clans' xenophobia to another LEVEL, highlighting it in a way that shows how seriously stupid it is. there is quite literally ZERO! reason for the clans to dislike each other other than the idea of """loyalty""". i don't really know how to tell you guys! but you are all exactly the same! if anyone had a brain larger than a pea, riverclan would've willingly accepted help from shadowclan and had been FINE! mistystar and reedwhisker's deaths may have been the catalyst, but it was the clans own prejudice against each other that caused riverclan to have a genuine problem. the clans have, very easily, come together before to help eachother or fell a common enemy. it keeps happening! that's been a plot point of so many of the recent arcs! as i've grown up (i read a lot of wc when i was a kid), i've seriously reailzed how EASY it would be for the clans to stop having issues if they stopped having this loyalty complex. so many character decisions are completely illogical once you actually think about them. okay, back to the book. i... didn't really like splashtail's arc of taking over shadowclan? solely from a quality-of-writing standpoint, not really the plot exactly. something about it just felt so weird, in a way i can't explain? i'm not sure. (1/?, see reblogs)

[coffeebooksrain18]

I've gotten asks before why I don't like Daemrya or why I don't reblog stuff about them as I'm a Daemon lover and I sine I just saw a post saying you can't love Daemon without loving Daemyra I thought I'd explain my thoughts.

the main reason, I never felt it. It felt too forced to truly be real. it felt like the showrunners and writers were trying to make me like them together instead of letting me do that on my own which made me feel like hey didn't even feel it.

secondly, I have and always will see it as a political marriage. Do I think they care about each other? yes. Do I think they lust for each other? yes. But do I think they are in love? no. Rhaenyra literally had to dangle the crown an throne in front of Daemon for him to even agree to marry her.

and to the people saying "he slept with her the night of Laena's funeral." I say this. we know Daemon's way of mourning is fucking, fighting and drinking, its not sitting somewhere and crying. so to have Rhaenyra pretty much throw herself at him, why should he pay for a whore when she is so willing? now I'm not calling Rhaenyra a whore only stating what I think went through Daemon's mind.

third and final reason, I don't like Rhaenyra, never have never will, like seriously in the first episode I thought she was a ok character I didn't care about her and that has slowly turned into a hate. so why should I ship one of my favorite characters with one I hate? that doesn't make sense.

yet again, I never felt it, I never felt like they even really cared about each other more than what the other could give them let alone loved each other. so to me, that's not a power couple, that's not a couple I want to root for. so I don't root for them.

I do ship Alicent x Daemon and I definitely ship Laena x Daemon but other than that I don't like or care for other ships for him. I get the people who do like Daemyra I just don't get why they care so much that I don't.

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[le-higuu]

Transcription below the Read More:

Stan: wakes up disoriented, then jolts upright after realizing where he is.

Ford: "mm... Stanley?— Oh! Are you back?"

Stan: "...Yeah. I'm back."

Ford: "Do you... Remember what happened?"

Stan: "...Yeah. I..."

Stan: "I was actin' pretty weird, huh?"

Ford: "Well, sure, but you know me— weird is my specialty."

Stan: "Yeah, yeah, yuck it up."

Ford: "So, what is it like? Do you retain your adult memories? Fiddleford thought you might not, but you knew who he was, so I disagreed."

Stan: "Wow. You uh. Sure have a lot of questions. Never change, Six."

Fiddleford: I heard y'all yappin'. You back, Stan?"

Stan: "...Yeah."

Fiddleford: "Oh, good."

Ford: "So, which one of us was right?"

Fiddleford: "I ain't so sure he wants to talk about that Ford."

Ford: "Ah? Why's that?"

Fiddleford: "Well, I certainly don't wanna talk about my... episodes."

Ford: "But this is different, Fiddleford! There's so much we don't know!"

Fiddleford: "Well it ain't our business to know."

Ford: "Of course it is, I'm his brother."

Fiddleford: "Well I ain't —"

Stan: shouting, "Would'ya both shut your yaps!?"

Stan: "Look, it's just a weird thing that happens sometimes. We all had our laughs, now let's forget it. Okay?"

Ford: "...What do you mean, 'happens sometimes'?"

Fiddleford: "Ford!"

Ford: "What? This is important context!"

Stan: "HAH! Did I say that? I meant that— it— uh— happens to people. In general."

Ford: deadpan, "I have literally never experienced that before in my life."

Stan: "Well— duh— Y— YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"

Fiddleford: "Well, Stan, if this were a reoccurring phenomenon, it'd help to know what might trigger it so we can avoid it in the future. Y'know— so you don't have to experience that again."

Stan: "...Right. Experience... That."

Ford: pauses for a second. "...Was it really so bad?"

Stan: "What?"

Ford: "Look, I know it's silly, and childish, and I was worried at first, but... Being able to just... pretend, for a while. Go back to when we were kids and things were so... simple."

Ford: "... I didn't hate it."

Stan: pauses for a second. "... I didn't hate it either."

Ford: "What's it like?"

Stan: collects his thoughts. "It's like... My brain just kinda goes into a fog, and I can't... think adult things? It's kinda fun sometimes, even. If I find a toy or a game to play. Sometimes it, uh... Wasn't."

Ford: "But it's not harmful to you in any way?"

Stan: "I mean... not as far as I can tell?"

Ford: "Then I see no reason for us to be concerned!"

Fiddleford: "But Ford, what if it happens while he's alone?"

Ford: "...Ah."

Stan: "Hey, don't worry about me. I've been fine on my own so far, right? Take it easy."

Ford: "But ... you haven't."

Ford: "The entire reason this happens is because you were alone for so long. And I don't want you to be just fine. Besides, it's.. partially my fault. The least I can do is support you."

Stan: "...So that's it, then?"

Ford: "What?"

Stan: "So, the only reason ya went along with this— did any of this—"

Fiddleford: "Hey, now.."

Stan: "Was because ya felt guilty? It wasn't even your fault!"

Ford: "Of course not, I—"

Stan: "Quit lyin' to me!"

Ford: "I'M NOT!"

Stan: "Yes you are! You think this is some sick science experiment, don't you?? Well, I'm not—!"

Ford: "I MISSED YOU TOO!!" Ford is hugging himself.

Ford: "I... I missed being your brother. And this— being able to laugh with you, and play, and tell stories... It was good! I... I missed that."

Stan: "... I missed it too. Ok? Why d'you think it even happens in the first place? I'm not dumb. But we can't really go back. No matter how much we want to."

Ford: "Why not?"

Ford: "Why can't we act like kids again? Don't we deserve to have that back? After everything? After everything this evil fucking world has taken from us... Don't we deserve to get something back for once?"

Stan: sniffs. "....maybe."

Ford: "Then let's figure this out. Together."

Stan: "... Wherever we go."

The brothers hug each other.

Fiddleford: thinking to himself, "Thank God they made up."

your age regressed Stan has interested me, would you be willing to do more?

very well <3

[sskk-manifesto]

Finally got around to watching ep 11 (´；ω；｀)

[my-current-obsession]

Does anyone know if in P3 Reload ALL the girls have a completely platonic path where they don't confess and/or ask how you feel about them?

I managed to get Chihiro and Aigis platonic, intentionally romanced Yukari, think I know where I screwed up with Fuuka (who I've heard can be platonic), have NO idea where I screwed up with Yuko since I tried NOT to flirt with her, and wasn't able to get Mitsuru to rank 9 before it was too late, so I don't know about her at all.

I ASSUME that all girls have a platonic option - I honestly figured that if anyone didn't, it would be Yukari and Aigis, but since Aigis does that would JUST be Yukari as a must romance/reject, which is maybe more "canonizing" than the devs want for any one girl.

[meownotgood]

my very first fictional crush vs my current one what do you think they'd talk about if they met

[mad-hunts]

barton literally finding any excuse to be physically close to those who are, like, in his tight inner circle whenever he feels like he just cannot cope with things going on inside of his head or even on the outside by like... laying his head in his head in their lap / on their shoulder or something similar as they're hanging out. and whenever they're understandably confused by this, because this is the first time he's ever done anything like this, things only seem to get progressively more bewildering and maybe a little bit sad from there. and this is because he's just like ' hey, so i know this might be kind of a weird request, but don't judge me please. i'm just sooo tired of everything, so can you like... stroke my hair or something? '

and depending on whether they actually do it or not, i could imagine barton and this friend of his sort of forming this mutual understanding ( that's probably a mix of nonverbal and verbal ) that whenever he's feeling particularly bad or twisted up inside, he can come to them and just. curl up with them on the couch or something, like JSJSJ barton is honestly sooo confusing sometimes, y'all, because he'll actively seek out comfort from people he trusts in such a vulnerable human way but then he will turn around and kill someone in the most heinous way imaginable the next moment. like i'm currently going feral over this rn because WHATTT HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK but also... OUCH??? i'm not sure how to feel about this if i'm being honest because it definitely demonstrates that barton does genuinely feel thing's despite what some people might think but he's also a terrible person so

[letbuckfuck]

.

[running-in-the-dark]

okay so

I want to get better. I feel so bad most of the time. most of all I'm just so, so tired. always. I don't remember the last time I felt well rested* and it's so hard to do anything like this

but I really have no idea what to do about it anymore? my GP doesn't care. I've tried to talk to her about this so many times and she keeps dismissing me (I'm 'young and healthy' according to her 🙃). I've been trying to find a new GP for years but no one is accepting new patients (I'm only calling specific ones that have been recommended to me, because there really would be no point switching if the new one is just as useless - I could probably find someone if I didn't care what they're like).

there's probably things you're supposed to do in a situation like this but I really don't know, and I'm so overwhelmed and to be honest I'm also afraid there really is nothing wrong and I'm just a lazy idiot who needs to get their shit together and just fucking do things. like just don't sleep all day, just don't fall asleep all the time, just. I don't know, make my brain be able to think again 😭 maybe if I tried harder and wanted it more I'd be able to do it 😭

*actually it was a few days ago after I took Lorazepam for an MRI, and then slept like 8 hours. it was amazing. but about an hour or two later I was already tired again so it doesn't really count imo

[house-in-the-backyard-trees]

always a bridesmaid, never a bride

at least everyone has that instead of wondering why

cause i'm never a bridesmaid, never will be a bride

and i've sat on my floor and cried

i can't figure it out, why i'm never enough

can't walk down the aisle in white or maroon

and i can't even gather up the courage to ask the tough stuff

like why did you change your mind, why leave me on the outside, why never even tell me why?

cause i sit here thinking that i'm not enough

enough times without you changing your mind

saying that i can't walk behind you as a bridesmaid while you are a bride

and i'm not trying to damper this joyous occasion

maybe that's why I've bit my tongue and tried self persuasion

cause every single one of your friends is involved - except for me

and i can't help but drown in my misery

i feel like i failed some kind of test

cause everyone's a bridesmaid

everyone's a bride

and i'm stuck on the sidelines

wondering why

[littlecafe]

oliveyoung global shipped so fast omg my package came within a week of me ordering?? that’s like 5 business days??? and i ordered after lunar new year when they were off for a couple extra weekdays

damn their prices are expensive but $60 free express dhl shipping almost makes it worth it (to the USA)

but money saving tip if you ever want to order from them though is to browse the website first before signing up since they give you some coupons for signing up ($5 off $70 and $10 off $80) and if you download the app you get a free $5 worth in points, points can be used in conjunction with one coupon so you can get $15 off of $80 instead of just $10

if you’re trying to save even more then wait until they run an event where you have the chance off getting free reward points so you can stack them (actually they have one going on right now for 3 days!! they do them every now and then so don’t stress it), but to stack with events you seriously have to plan beforehand because those points expire within one day so you basically have to be ready to order within 24 hours

idk if it’s timezones or if they’re nice and give you a full 24 hours on the event points, but either way there was some overlap for me at least so you might be able to stack up to 2 days worth of reward points if you’re lucky and get points on 2 consecutive days!! or ur unfortunate and pull a coupon instead of points if so then it won’t stack due to the one coupon per order limit :--( but this was how i got like $20 off my order since they did a similar lucky draw points event for lunar new year

and another good thing is that they base the free shipping on your original cart amount, so if your points bring you under $60 you still get free shipping if you’re original amount was $60+ unlike some other websites (cough jolse cough i’m sorry i was hurt)

[causenessus]

where do i even start. two people in love, but that are hurting. two people who meet each other and are in need of love and happiness, (“do you think you weren’t loved enough?” “somewhere between ‘not enough’ and ‘not at all’. i was always hungry for love. just once, i wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it… just once. but they never gave that to me. never, not once.”). they’re in need of love; the kind of love that reassures them that they are a person. they are a living, breathing human worthy of love. that nothing of their past defines them, there is always the chance to grow. the kind of love that reassures them they are not hated by the world, but that they are loved. and they find that in each other (“i want to hold this moment. i want to believe it. i want his love to have enough salt in it to float me. i don’t want to be swimming for my life.” -frankissstein) they are two people who have been drowning in silence for so long, but then they find each other. and they keep each other afloat. with promises to keep on living and promises that they will always be there for the other. that they will never leave. that they are there to stay. and sometimes one person is all that you need. iwa and y/n have the type of relationship where they cover the other’s ears when it gets too loud, the kind of relationship where they run into the others arms every moment they get. they know each other like the back of their hands, they know what sets the other off and they always know what the other needs. and when they finally retire to bed after a long night of living, and they let down their walls and they finally say it, “i’m so tired.” the other is there to hold them, saying “i know, love. but it’s going to be okay.” and it will be, because they have each other.

ways to live: h. iwaizumi

he’s depressed. she’s depressed. it’s all they ever talk about. she’s willing to try anything to feel better. he’s less optimistic

pairings: iwaizumi x f!reader

status: completed, uploading all the chapters today & then disappearing again

tags/warnings: online friends to lovers, blended smau (every chapter has written parts), university au, mini-series, happy ending, hurt/comfort, lots and lots of frank discussions on mental health, depression tweets, casual discussions of suicidal ideation (no death or sh), disordered behaviors, recovery

taglist: i’m not doing one please do not ask to be added

prologue: the list

chapter one: exercise

chapter two: nurture yourself with good nutrition

chapter three: connect with a support system

chapter four: help yourself by helping others

chapter five: demonstrate gratitude

[yoshistory]

How come when I'm scheduled to do all this bull shit at work is qhen I get so so socially motivated and wanting to draw and write and play games and code n shit. Qhen I have time Im like fuuuck noe but when I'm scheduled to work I'm like okay yessssss .... likewhat ....

[mosspapi]

I hit the arbitrary "high number" and now my brain has immediately gone from doing that to just. As the kids would say. Game Ending it all. Why can I not be normal for like 3 seconds.

[youremyonlyhope]

There is a nonzero chance that I have COVID.

Yayyyyyyyy.

Let's hope it's just a cold...