feel the same - s.r. x reader
spencer misunderstands a conversation he overhears between reader and derek.
tags/cws: misunderstandings, confessions of feelings, use of 'y/n', gn!reader, fluff, mild angst, derek morgan has big brother energy
wc: 1708 (much longer than I thought lmao)
a/n: I'm truly obsessed with season 1 spencer as of late so I HAD to write a fic with him in mind. <3
also posted on ao3
“You know Pretty Boy likes you, don’t you?”
Spencer had been trying to get some sleep on the flight back after working a case that had drained all his energy when the sound of Morgan’s voice caught his attention. Without opening his eyes, he knew exactly who he was talking to. Spencer had never outright admitted to anyone that he had developed feelings for you but it was getting harder to deny. Once Derek had started pointing out the way he’d look up when you entered a room or the way his eyes lingered as you walked away, he was becoming concerned that this crush was more obvious than he’d like it to be.
He’s been trying to ignore it, telling himself it’s unprofessional when really it’s because he believes there’s no way you could possibly feel the same. There’s a myriad of reasons why he wished Derek would keep his big mouth shut but honestly – that was probably the biggest.
“Likes me? How old are we?” The smooth sound of your response makes Spencer smile to himself in spite of the current situation.
“(Y/N), come on…” Derek chuckles and is immediately met with a long stretch of silence. Spencer can picture the death glare he knows he’d see on your face if he were to look at you in this moment. “Look, you know he’s never gonna ask you out himself so maybe you should just–”
“Derek.” You interrupt with an evident sternness in your tone. “I’m not having this conversation with you. I’ve told you, it’s not happening.” Ouch. Spencer had never allowed himself to dream that you would reciprocate his feelings but he definitely wishes he had been asleep for that one. With that, he forces his eyes shut tighter than before and takes in one deep, slightly shaky breath and decides to try to go back to sleep, if only so that he doesn’t have to hear you reject him even harder.
~
Spencer wakes up as the jet is landing and he quickly gathers all of his things, walking out and across the strip with much more urgency than usual. This detail doesn’t go unnoticed by you, not much does – especially where Spencer is concerned – and you make a mental note to check in with him later. He had caught your eye the first day you met him which must be, what? Half a year ago now? And he had been on your mind ever since. You had bonded quickly as friends, being the two youngest members on the team. About a month ago you had finally allowed yourself to acknowledge the fact that you had developed feelings for him. You’d sit next to him at any given opportunity, listen to his infamously long rants much longer than anyone else would, spend just a little too long staring at his lips as he talked you through his theories. It didn’t take long for people to notice. Elle had her suspicions, JJ made a comment every now and then, but Derek – he wouldn’t let it go. He teases you about it constantly. You haven’t given him the satisfaction of admitting it, you haven’t been able to deny it either.
When you eventually make your way into the building along with the rest of the team you notice that Spencer had already left. It’s only then you start to be concerned. It’s unlike him to leave in such a hurry, even more so to not even say goodbye. You rack your brain trying to come up for a reason for this strange behavior. Is he sick? Upset about something? Was it you? You begin to go over every interaction you’d had with him recently when you have to stop yourself before you spiral. He’s just tired. If it was serious he’d tell you… right?
~
The next morning you walk in to find Spencer at his desk working on the report he didn’t write last night before he had basically ran away.
“Morning, Spence!” You greet him, making an effort to sound cheerful as you lean on his desk. He doesn’t look up, like he’s trying extra hard to look busy.
“Morning, (Y/L/N).” He replies without looking up. His tone seems normal, his use of your last name is what sounds the alarms in your head.
“Hey… are you feeling alright?” You ask tentatively, not wanting to pry too much in case you really had done something wrong that you clearly weren’t aware of. “I noticed you kind of left in a hurry last night.” He finally looks up and meets your eyes, easing your nerves slightly. His eyes shift away and then back to yours before a soft smile graces his lips, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I’m okay.” He responds after a while in a way that sounds like that’s not all he wants to say. You go to reassure him, make sure he knows he can tell you anything, but stop yourself when you notice the way he tenses when you place a hand on his shoulder. Retracting your hand quickly, you begin to fidget with your fingers before running them through your hair nervously.
“Spencer… I–” You start and stop and Spencer feels a little guilty as you seem to stumble over your words anxiously. “Is it me? Did I do something? Because if I did I–”.
“(Y/N).” Spencer cuts off your panicked rambling. You take a steadying breath as he slowly rises to stand in front of you, your eyes trailing up when he towers over you. He looks around the room and sighs before focusing back on you. “Can we go somewhere to talk?” You nod and begin walking towards a storage room with Spencer following close behind, quickly checking that there's no one in there before stepping inside.
“What’s going on with you?” You break the silence as Spencer closes the door behind him. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve been acting weird.” You notice the way he dodges the question. He can’t meet your eyes anymore, his gaze shifts around the room and he smiles awkwardly at you.
“Spence, that’s not–” You interrupt yourself, trying to find a way to put your thoughts to words without overwhelming him. “I only want you to be okay. You’ve been acting differently since last night… If there’s something going on I want to be there for you.” When you say that he smiles sadly. He looks down in thought as if he’s considering something.
“I heard you talking to Morgan…” He mumbles, still staring at his feet – wringing his hands together. You furrow your brows in confusion. Talking to Morgan? “On the jet on the way home…”
“Oh.” This isn’t happening. You figure you should’ve known Derek’s relentless teasing would be your downfall. He must know you like him now. There’s a reason you never wanted him to know how you felt. You couldn’t stand the thought of anything ruining your friendship. Spencer visibly deflates even more in front of you at your lack of response. You begin scrambling to come up with a way to get out of this horrifically embarrassing situation.
“Look, I– I didn’t mean to make this awkward…” Oh god. The way he’s stuttering and tripping over his words. You stare blankly at him, then duck your head, bracing for the impact of his rejection. “It’s not like I thought you would feel the same way I just–” Wait what? Your head snaps back up to see his face, eyes widened, which seems to startle him a little. “I wasn’t going to say anything but I guess I just got really in my head about it.” He begins to look a little panicked. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry if I did.” You just keep staring up at him, mouth agape in disbelief. “(Y/N)?” He says your name with a sad desperation and it reminds you that you should respond.
“Sorry, I–” You say slowly while shaking your head. “Are you saying that – Do you like me?” Now it’s Spencer’s turn to look confused, but it was all starting to make sense to you. You had thought he was acting weird because he had found out about your feelings, when in reality, it was the other way around.
“Yes?” He replies hesitantly.
“I like you too.” You say simply with a shy smile but Spencer looks completely taken aback.
“You do?” The way his eyes light up with a subtle excitement was adorable. Soon after, that look was replaced with skepticism. “But I thought— you told Morgan you didn’t like me.”
“I told Morgan to stop teasing me about you because I didn’t think this…” You gesture between the two of you. “Was ever going to happen.” Spencer let out a sigh of relief and smiled bashfully.
“You could have just told me.” You feel his eyes scanning your face as if he were still looking for proof that you weren’t messing with him.
“You didn’t tell me either.”
“I thought there was no way…” You make eye contact as he trails off in thought. “I guess it doesn’t matter now.” Spencer takes a tentative step closer to you but doesn’t move to touch you in any way, so you reach out to take his hands in yours, lacing your fingers together.
“Well… maybe if we don’t have to fly out for a case today, we could go to dinner tonight?” You’re staring down at your intertwined hands, squeezing once before looking back up. When you see his face he’s still looking down with a big dopey grin on his face and you can’t help but smile right back.
“Yes— definitely.” You giggle at his obvious enthusiasm.
You both stay in the storage room for another couple minutes, mostly just staring starry eyed at each other. Eventually you both decide that you should get back to work. You try to hide whatever was now going between you as much as you can but like always, Derek Morgan figures you out within minutes and he, along with the rest of the team, teases you relentlessly. (You wouldn’t have it any other way.)
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Hot To Go
Summary: You're horny and Natasha's teasing you. That's pretty much it!
Also, I've been telling you all to listen to Chappell Roan since last year so if you haven't, DO IT NOW.
Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader
Hopeless.
That’s how you feel as you walk back to the Compound, hot and bothered. The plan is to go straight to your room, but Wanda’s in the living room reading her book.
“Did you have fu…?” she says as soon as you walk in.
“Nope” you don’t let her finish, plopping next to her on the couch.
“What…”
“Garden gnomes”
“You’re gonna have to be more specific”
“We were having dinner, she invited me over for coffee. And when I went inside her apartment, I was met with at least fifty figures of garden gnomes”
“Like… decoration?”
“Like pets, according to her” you rub your eyes, trying to erase the image from your mind. “I was willing to maybe ignore it… until I went to her room and there were a dozen more”
“So? Just turn off the light” Wanda says, with a neutral expression. As if she’s not hearing the weirdest fucking thing on the planet right now.
“No, she said we should leave it on because they’re scared of the dark”
That finally breaks her and she lets out a loud laugh.
“Not funny” you throw a cushion towards her and she catches it.
It’s been four months since you’ve gotten laid. Not like you can’t handle a dry spell, but for some reason -perhaps the stress of work and missions- you’ve been particularly… needy. But everytime you go on a date, it ends in disaster.
“I should join a convent” you groan, your head resting on the back of the couch as you look at the ceiling.
“Nice, surrounded by other women. Maybe then you’ll get lucky”
“Not funny” you repeat, defeated.
“What about…?”
“Don’t” you stop her before she can even begin. You don’t need to look at Wanda to know what she’s about to say.
“I’m just saying…”
“Not another…”
“Natasha”
“…word. Damn it, Wanda. That has never been an option”
“You’re being stupid” she says and you roll your eyes, getting up from the couch.
“Gotta go and take matters into my own hands”
“Gross”
Wanda makes a face and you laugh, the both of you too distracted to notice someone else on the doorway, listening intently to the conversation.
—
Movie night is the perfect distraction, or so you think.
Since you’re all fidgety and restless, you opt for the couch in the back of the room, holding a bucket of popcorn against your chest.
The boys have settled on Atomic Blonde, with Bucky commenting the inaccuracies of the film portraying the Cold War.
His banter with Sam is enough to distract you for a little while, but then you turn back to the screen and sink in your seat.
There are two women making out, a hand going down the other one’s panties…
“Enjoying the movie?” a sultry voice whispers against your ear.
“N-Nat” you hold the bucket closer against your chest, trying to even your breathing. Where did she come from? You were sure she was skipping movie night today.
“That’s my name” she says, somehow even closer to you. Your eyes are fixed on the screen, but every other sense is registering the redhead’s presence. Her smell, the way her lips are almost touching your ear…
There’s moaning, and panting and the women on screen are kissing.
You’re about to combust, there’s no doubt in your mind.
“Use your words, pretty girl” Natasha whispers and you whimper.
“It’s a good… great movie” you manage to say, gulping.
Natasha’s hand moves forward and you’re hipnotized by those slender fingers, grabbing some popcorn out of the bucket and placing it slowly in her mouth.
“Catch you later?”
All you can do is nod dumbly, feeling the heat rising to your ears.
As soon as she walks out the living room, you stand up, sprinting to your bedroom.
“Pizza just got here” Tony calls after you.
“I’m not hungry” you lie, shutting the door behind you.
Not for food, at least.
—
It’s been two days since movie night and Natasha’s the same. So you figure your horny mind blew the interaction out of proportion.
Which is fine, because right now you can’t be distracted.
“On your knees” Natasha commands and you almost faint.
“I… what?”
As part of your quarterly evaluation, you have to take physical and psychological tests to stay on the team.
The sparring part was usually done by Steve, so you were shocked to find Natasha as soon as you walked in.
“Say you’re wounded and can’t stand up. How are you going to fight back?” Natasha walks in circles around you, and you kneel as she requested. “Ready?”
You don’t have time to answer and in a matter of seconds she’s disarmed you, her hand squeezing your troath and her body on top of yours.
It takes everything in your power not to moan.
Natasha releases you and goes at it again, and again, and again. The fighting stances change, but ultimately, you always end up against the mat, her body close to yours, feeling her hot breath against your skin.
“Tired?” she says, straddling your hips. You don’t trust in your voice, so all you do is nod. “Fine, we’re done”
Natasha lifts herself from you, but you miss the contact immediately.
“Want some help getting up?” she offers when you stay on the ground.
“I just need a minute”
Your muscles are sore, your heart is beating out of your chest and the redness that invades your cheeks and ears won’t disappear.
You’re fucked. And not in the way you’d like to be.
—
Nothing un-sexier than chores.
As you walk down the hallway, you knock on the doors of some of your teammates, asking if they have dirty clothes to add to your load.
The last door is Natasha’s and you pray she’s not in her room.
“Hi, detka” she smiles as soon as she sees you.
“Dirty…” you stutter like a moron.
“What’s that?”
“Dirty clothes. I’m doing laundry but it’s not a lot. I could put some of your clothes if you need it”
“Thank you. Give me a second” Natasha takes your basket inside and comes back a second later. “Oh, I almost forgot this one” she says when you turn to leave.
“Sure, go ahead…”
The last thing you’re expecting is to see her undressing in the doorway, throwing her SHIELD t-shirt and yoga pants your way.
Natasha is standing in black underwear, staring back at you with a smirk.
“I’ll… I better go” you turn around, colliding against the door. You curse under your breath, aware that Natasha hasn’t closed the door, most likely to see if you turn around one last time.
Using other chores to distract you does the trick for a little while, but then you go back and pull the clothes out of the dryer.
Without thinking, you begin to fold them. That is, until your hands lift a lace thong that is most definitely not yours.
“Oh, great heavens” you drop it, feeling like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. People wear lingerie, it’s a normal, beautiful, hot thing to do…
But if you find more like that one, you’re gonna combust. instead, you separate your clothes from hers without paying much attention to what’s in your hands. Once it’s done, you go back and knock on her door.
Thankfully, this time she’s wearing a hoodie and leggings.
“Here” you present the basket with clothes, avoiding her eyes. Natasha thanks you and you sigh with relief, walking back to your room.
“Oh, did you happen to see a red lacy bra?”
Damn it.
“Uh… I didn’t like check each thing you put in there, Nat”
“Red, unclasps on the front, has lace that only covers the nipples”
You actually have to lean against the wall, sure that your knees will buckle any minute now.
“Nope. I would remember”
“Alright then” and as if she hadn’t just melted your brain, she smiles and speaks in the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard. “Thank you”
Thank you. That image is forever imprinted in my brain.
—
How did you end up here?
Milk was all you wanted. When you mentioned you were going to the store, Natasha was quick to offer a ride.
If you had know it was on her motorcycle, you’d have politely declined.
Because, now you have your hands around her midsection, and everytime Natasha lowers her hands at a stop sign, she brushes your thighs delicately.
On the way back, there’s a particularly nasty bump on the road which makes you jump on your seat. As a result, your face sinks in Natasha’s kneck. Not for the first time, you notice the lavender smell and softness of her beautiful red hair. Comforted by her closeness, you practically melt against her. To your horror, a soft moan escapes your lips.
How you wish she hadn’t heard it, but by the way her movements falter, it’s clear she did.
Mortified, you jump the minute she parks, thanking her and disappearing in the elevator.
“Shitshitshit” you mutter, running across the living room, still carrying the bottle of milk. Wanda leans forward, intrigued by the force with which you lock your door. It all makes sense when Natasha comes in, looking for you.
“Again?” the Sokovian says, throwing a pillow towards Natasha.
“What?”
“You’ve been teasing her for weeks. It’s not funny” Wanda glares, making Natasha uncomfortable. If anyone can throw her across the room, it’s Wanda.
“Well, maybe now I will be considered an option” Natasha tries to defend herself, though it comes off as a lame excuse.
Wanda takes a second, trying to understand the meaning behind those words.
Your conversation about that date and the gnomes and Natasha… she was listening.
“That’s what this is about?!” Wanda grabs another cushion and throws it at the redhead, making sure that it hits extra hard with a whisp of red magic. “She didn’t mean you’re not an option. You are her first choice. Because. She. Has. A. Crush. On. You”
Each word is accentuated with a new wave of magic that is harmless, but enough to make Natasha jump.
“Oh” is all she says when Wanda stops.
“Fix it. Every time you tease her those thoughts get very loud, and it’s hard to ignore them”
“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me what she’s thinking” Natasha tries to hide her smirk.
“Who say her thoughts were the loud ones, Romanoff?”
—
As luck would have it, you couldn’t hide from Natasha much longer.
Duty called and you were placed on a mission together. You had to infiltrate the VIP room of a bar/strip club the Russian mafia owned.
The setup was fairly simple. Natasha would go inside the VIP room while you stayed outside to alert her of anything unusual. So, at least you wouldn’t have to be around each other for long. It was hard to keep sinful thought at bay when she was dressed to the nines, hoping to dash the bouncer and get access to the reserved area.
You look around the street where the main entrance is, hoping Ivanov wouldn’t get here before Natasha was granted access.
“I couldn’t get past the bouncer” her voice interrupted your thoughts.
“What do we do now?”
“Maybe there’s a way to break into the room…”
“Apparently the only women allowed in the VIP area are dancers. Pigs” she mutters bitterly.
“I might have an idea” you say, following a girl in high heels that enters through a staff door. You sneak up right behind her and walk down a hallway. At the end of it, you find a room full of makeup, mirrors and girls in skimpy outfits.
Oh, God.
“Y/N?” Natasha presses through the comms.
“Looks like I’m a dancer now”
“Absolutely not. Where are you? I’m calling this mission off now”
“Come on, Nat. I’ll just pick an outfit, and hope they’ll let me in”
As you go around some clothes that you hope are clean, Natasha remains quiet. The least revealing outfit is a black leather mini skirt and a heart shaped top.
You are busy inspecting your reflection on the mirror when she breaks the silence.
“I don’t like this”
You don’t like it either, truth be told.
“I’m walking towards the bar. What’s your location?” there is no answer and for a moment you worry Natasha was caught. “Nat?” you insist, speaking louder as the music makes it hard to listen.
“I see you” is all she says. You look around, until your eyes meet hers. Natasha’s intense glare makes you falter, feeling as if you are naked in the middle of a room full of strangers.
“You look…”
“He’s here” you interrupt, looking behind her. “Ivanov”
The mobster leans on the railway that’s above Natasha and you, inspecting with a satisfied smirk the crowd dancing and drinking.
“Nat, you’re gonna have to trust me” you plead, walking towards her as your eyes meet Ivanov’s.
You approach the woman, swaying your hips to the beat of the music. A group of men move aside, enjoying the show that is most definitely not for them.
Sitting on Natasha’s lap, you pull her closer by the collar of her shirt, hands going down her stomach all the way to the belt loop of her pants.
Ignoring the heat that creeps up your cheeks, you take a shot of tequila from the waiter walking by you, placing the slice of lime on Natasha’s mouth. You down the shot in one swift motion and then connect your lips with hers, taking the slice from her mouth.
“Come to the VIP area” a man appears behind you, pulling you away from Natasha. The woman is quick to stop him, a hand on his arm.
“Don’t” you warn her, because causing a scene won’t do you any good. You walk behind the man, looking around as you’re finally granted access to the VIP area.
To your surprise, there’s a second, more private room where Ivanov and all of his criminals gather around. He laughs when he sees you walk inside, patting the space next to him.
“Nice show out there” he says with a thick Russian accent. “How come I’ve never seen you before?”
“Maybe you weren’t looking hard enough for me” you say, hoping his attention will go back to the conversation happening with the rest of the men.
Sure enough, they begin to argue and you take the opportunity to lean forward and plant the bug on the table.
“For you” a bartender appears out of nowhere, making you flinch. “You’re gonna need it for later”
“That’s definitely spiked” Natasha comments. Her voice brings you back to reality.
“Cheers” is all you say.
You wait around for a while longer, until one of the bodyguards asks you to follow him to another room. To your horror, he locks you inside.
“Natasha, extraction” you plead, looking around the room for a way out. No answer. “Nat, please come in”
You hear a commotion outside, and look around for a weapon or anything that will help you defend yourself.
“I told you I didn’t like this” Natasha says when she opens the door and you sigh with relief. “To be clear, I’m talking about the situation. Not the outfit”
“Nat…” you breathe, happy that she came back for you. The woman approaches you, inspecting your face.
“Are you ok? Did you take the drink?”
“Obviously not”
“Fine. Let’s go” she grabs your hand and as you walk past the VIP room, you find all of Ivanov’s men knocked unconscious.
“Aww, all of this for me?” you joke, your hand going to your chest.
Natasha doesn’t answer, keeping a tight grip on your hand as you escape the strip club. You think she might be upset because you put the both of you at risk.
Until you’re out on the street and she pushes you against the wall, her body trapping you in place.
“I really wanted to do this nicely” her eyes drift to your cleavage and the look of pure lust drives you forward, capturing her lips in a heated kiss. “Go out with me” she says when you break apart.
“Dressed like this or…?” you joke, biting your lip.
“No, I’d like to be the only one enjoying this view”
“Ok” you laugh. She’s about to lean forward again when you hear a couple of men running around, probably looking for you. “We should go” Natasha complains and you kiss her cheek. “Don’t worry, I’m definitely gonna need help to take this clothes off”
“Let’s go” she says, looking around the street before pulling you to the car that you parked hours ago.
“Your room or mine?”
“Which one is farthest away from Wanda?” Natasha says, buckling her seatbelt and turning on the car.
“What?”
“Trust me, it’s for everyone’s own good. Your thoughts aren’t the only thing that will get very loud”
You laugh as she speeds back to the Compound.
At last, you were about to get lucky, with the girl of your dreams no less.
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I'm praying that uh.. I don't know if this is gonna be answered or not but anyways!! (I couldn't hit the button to mNe this ankn for a bit)
Medkit X GN!reader Head canons before the accident?
Also I pray that this is easy to understand.🔷
hihi!!! thank you for requesting!! i absolutely understood this [and i am in love with medkit] so, i hope these are good enough!!! <3 have a nice day :3 I also somewhat based this off of the vibe of Bay City, Plastic Love, etc songs!!
PRE-MEDKIT HEADCANONS
Warnings: brief mentions of bullying
Other: I made this where Pre-Medkit and GN!Reader aren't in a relationship, but hopelessly inlove with eachother. They just struggle at confessing because I love this type of trope! I also based this off of my own Blackrock Headcanon where at the start of Highschool, you must pass various tests before being placed in departments that fit you suitable in society. There is also mentions of Grav and Warp <3.
When you were brand new to the school that Medkit was at, you were hopelessly crushing on him, even though you barely interacted. You both had unique features unlike the other scientists within the department, but you were studying a completely different medium then him.
Your actual first two friends was Grav and Warp, who were close friends to Medkit. The three of yous, excluding Medkit sadly, were always bickering. But, your mind would always drift to that strange boy with glasses and bright green horns! Sometimes, Grav and Warp would catch you daydreamin' or staring at him from afar, which would influence in slight teasing. They couldn't help it, you were so inlove with him like those iconic high-school lovers trope!
That was until Grav and Warp somehow, ironically, got you intentionally partners of research with him. Quickly to blame them, you and Medkit actually got along quite well! With how you both examined small details and examined the fine details in each artifact given. He was surprised on how much of a similar level of learning you both had, but it ended up with you getting targetted for his arroudous bullying.
Medkit was known around the school, especially for how he acts and how different he is. Especially his horns, and how they are drastically different to many other Blackrockian's. They were unique, stylized with curves and fascinating features that seemed to bring out of Medkit more. It was something you fell inlove with about him, but you'd never admit it truthfully to his face.
For Medkit, it was your eyes. He's seen many robloxians in his life-time, but your eyes just stood out. How they seemed to keep him captivated, it was one of the reasons he struggled because he didn't want to look like a weirdo. He'd zone out endlessly, forgetting all of his surroundings but be amazed but your looks and your eyes. It was something he loved about you, and one of the many reasons why sometimes, you'd catch him not replying but making heavy contact. It'd make him forget how to breathe! Of course, he'd get embarrassed each time you called him out... he'd just say he was zoning out or dissociating, thinking, whatever excuse he can use to save himself.
Medkit and You were basically two peas in a pod after your first assignment with him. But, because you both studied different mediums, you were separated into a different department after a while and he was placed with a whole new person. Agriculture was your one, while his one was robotics and certain, secret project. But, that never stopped your guys endless meet-ups. Your department and his were very strict, keeping everyrobloxian on their toes and to keep a look out, since the very best were the most to survive.
Picnics were occassional, sometimes even inviting Grav and Warp alone if possible. They also studied a different medium together, which was the environmental setting, but their department was hated for it's easiness and lack of 'strong' competitors. It didn't bug Grav and Warp since they seemed to have already aced everything. Medkit and you, on the other hand, had to fight restlessly just to see one another or to complete a singular class assigned. Being one of the smartest kids was one thing in your shared departments, but you could tell it was taking a toll on Medkit.
Medkit was always one to push you away when you came to support him on heavier tasks, always saying that there is no need to help him, that you wouldn't understand. Sure, some pieces may be difficult, but it didn't stop you from helping your boyfriend friend from getting out of such a place. Medkit would get defensive, you'd retaliate but end up helping him in the end. Sometimes, you'd shamelessly get yourself into his dorm complex and finish off the work yourself.
Medkit and you would go out on dates spend time together whenever you both can. Sometimes, it'd be spending time in one anothers presence, others may be going to the parks or ice-skating. He was a pro at ice-skating, while you were to be held by him. You always got embarrassed and flushed at each time he'd hold you, sometimes even feeling him against you. It made you flare up, in which he'd get worried your getting sick!
Medkit has sketched you sooooo many times in his work books. Sometimes, he'd became so zoned out thinking about you, that he'd have someone tap him on the shoulder if he wasn't paying attention. In the end of the day, he'd always get the answer correct if possible, in a some-sort of short response and go back to thinking about you.
Subspace found out about his crush about you, and kept urging and making stupid jokes around him. It got to the point, that Hyperlaser had to separate you two from one another. It was that bad, mostly because Medkit despised Subspace. He has no right talking about you like that! And he proves it, but he also proves the fact he is so into you.
He has tons of letters in his drawers that were supposed to be sent to you, but he never had the courage. Some are even ranking before he was transferred from the shared-department you both were in. Sadly, because of being kicked out of the school after the accident, he lost all those letters. But, who knows, Grav and Warp snuck around and about and found a bunch...
You would sometimes kick your legs and dedicated paragraphs to him in your work. When it came to english assignments, especially in some parts of your class-curriculum, you'd write so many aimed sentences towards him. Of course, your teacher didn't bother to question it, since no matter what you wrote it was aimlessly on theme. It just had that sort of aimed ring to it, and I'm sure Medkit would understand what you wrote instantly.
Medkit compares you to the moon, no take backs. Sometimes at night, when he struggles to sleep, he watches the moon. It reminds you of him, especially when you are unavailable a lot. You were the moon, and he was the sun watching from afar. The stars that trinkle support each dime, each feature that he loved about you.
Nature was what reminded you of him, or small little trinkets you were able to collect. They were your reminder, and you'd dedicate each trinket to him.
Overall, you both are just two teenagers aimlessly falling in-love with one another, but are so unaware and obnoxious to every sign given!!!
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☠ agent curt mega pretty pleaseeee
Ooooohhh angry/violent headcanon for Curt. This is an interesting one. I wrote waaaay too much here and I'm probably gonna end up in fandom jail for this one, but...
I mean we've talked about this before, but I genuinely do not see the horrible toxic manipulative Owen/little innocent cinnamon roll Curt dynamic that a lot of people seem to get from A1P1. It just doesn't track for me with what actually happens in that scene. Interpretation is an art, and everyone's art style is different, I just personally can't see anything to support it.
For me, pre-fall curtwen is a relationship of equals. Equals who often irritated each other because they were very different people (but also because they were very similar people), equals who didn't have any real concept of how to have a healthy relationship (especially with another man), equals who individually had a lot of flaws and messed up coping mechanisms and (in my headcanon at least) neurodevelopmental disabilities that made them uniquely suited for espionage, but also gave them all sorts of weird problems that they had no way of understanding or fixing. For me, they each gave as good as they got. For better or worse.
So keeping that in mind, I think about that part of A1P1 where Cynthia is insulting Curt while trying to recruit Owen to A.S.S., because that interaction, and what comes after it, is very important for my understanding of who pre-fall Curt was as a person.
Even though Owen doesn't entertain the idea of working for A.S.S. for even a second, Curt gets jealous, and pissed off, and hangs up on Cynthia. I think Owen's line is "What are you, jealous? You know I'd never work for the Americans," and its incredulous, like its a silly thing for Curt to get upset about because Owen would never even consider it. Curt pulls his flask out as soon as the call is over, and he responds to Owen pretty sharply by saying "Oh I do know that you couldn't handle it." He responds as if Owen has threatened his status at A.S.S.
We see this dynamic again when Owen chastises him for drinking, and Curt mocks his accent while saying "not until the jobs done." We see it again when Owen gestures to the banana peel like "what are you doing," and Curt responds fairly harshly with (I think, I'm doing this off memory) "this whole place is about to be garbage anyways, who gives a shit."
Those moments, for me, imply that Curt gets embarrassed easily, he gets jealous easily, and that he reacts very defensively when he is criticized, which is just Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 101. It couldn't get more typical RSD than that. And each criticism, even though they're individually pretty mild, just seems to make him act more recklessly during A1P1, like he's trying to show that actually he's a badass and Owen just worries too much. Again, very RSD.
The thing about RSD is that- especially when you don't know you have it- sometimes your first impulse is to get furious. Not annoyed. Not irritated. But like blood pulsing in your ears, seeing red kind of furious. Your heart rate elevates. It's like your body goes into fight or flight, and more often than not your body is going to pick fight. And because ADHD is a lifelong thing, unless you're getting treatment or at least a diagnosis and information, you literally have no concept that this is not how other people react emotionally, so you justify your own behavior because you truly do not understand that this isn't normal (ask me how I know hahahaaa)
As much as we love them, and as much as I truly believe they loved each other, they probably got into a fair few fistfights over the years. These are two men who are accustomed to violence. Who are very good at violence. Who have a flirty torture scene and then tell the guy whose knees Owen just shot out that "you've just been used for sport" (Owen), and "I hope you had fun- I know we sure did" (Curt).
To me, pre-fall Curt seems like the type to put Owen down a lot with relatively minor digs "as a joke" (aka he is bad with feelings), and to some degree it doesn't bother Owen that much because that's just how they are. They banter. But sometimes, maybe when Owen is tired or feeling particularly sensitive that day, he'll go straight for the jugular- zero in on the thing Curt is most sensitive about. With Curt its death by a thousand cuts, with Owen its a laser guided missle.
I've talked about this before too, but I think that by the time we get to A1P1 Curt probably already has a bit of a drinking problem. After the fall, drinking is just how he manages to survive his grief. But I think before the fall he could get miserable and sour and petty while drunk, take out his insecurities on the people around him, and probably on occasion just start fights because he's bored and will take any stimulation he can get.
I don't think this is just a thing he does with Owen either, I think this has probably been a problem for him his whole life. He feels things very close to the surface. He is very emotional, which is a thing you're not allowed to be as a man, as a boy/teen/man in the 30s, 40s, and 50s, and a thing that is very dangerous if you are a gay man during this time period.
He also has a big fucking ego. During the 54 Below concert spoken intros they describe what happens in A1P1 as "when these two spies are together they are gay and unstoppable- until Curt's ego gets in the way." And I think a big part of that ego is wrapped up in his performance of his gender. That if he's the very best at this extremely hypermasculine profession then nobody will notice any of the stereotypically feminine traits he has, no one will think he is actually sensitive and tender-hearted and more vulnerable than he appears. He thinks that performing stereotypical 1950s masculinity will insulate him from anyone ever finding out his secret- that he likes men, that he's in love with a man.
Also, ADHD can make you very impatient, easily bored, and Jesus let me tell you I know from experience that when an ADHDer gets too bored for too long, they get irritated. At everything, at nothing. So the combination of these factors makes me think that he probably was the kind of kid to get into scraps (especially at any suggestion that he was not masculine enough), the kind of adult who felt too much and got it out with aggression. He was a brawler. Spying helped focus his aggression. He got to still have it, but he got to feel like it was serving a noble purpose.
I do also think that, even if he gave Owen a lot of shit (particularly for the crime of not being American), if someone insulted Owen in front of him, or if one of their enemies hurt Owen, I fully believe Curt would go full-on berserker mode to defend Owen. So it isn't entirely a negative thing. He can utilize his anger and violence to protect people he loves too.
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