#like I couldn’t get help for my joints when I was a kid cuz they said i probably just needed exercise

[devil-taemin]

>:(

[xiaoderrrr]

𝑺𝑲𝒁 9𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒌𝒔𝒏 ࿐ྂ

𝘑𝘑'𝘴 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Home » Member profiles » JJ(Stray Kids) Profile & Facts

JJ (Stray Kids) Profile & Facts [Insert your bootiful face]

JJ is the youngest and the only female member of the South Korean group Stray Kids under JYP Entertainment

Stage Name: JJ (제이제이) formerly known as Jihyun (지휸) Birth Name: Josephine Park Korean Name: Park Jihyun (박지휸) Position: Dancer, Rapper, Vocalist, Maknae Birthday: September 12, 2003 Height: 174.5cm (5'7.2) Blood Type: B MBTI: ENFJ (Her previous result was ESTJ) Unit: DANCERACHA Spotify: Vibe with JeiJeiHyun

JJ Facts: -JJ is Korean-American -JJ was born in Seattle, Washington, U.S but moved to Korea when she was 8. -Her father is a President at Sinar Tour -Jay Park of Enhypen is her older brother -Nickname/s: JeiJei, Hyunie, Sophie, Pengsoo (only Sunghoon calls her this), haengbogi hyun (given by fans) -She graduated from Hanlim Multi Arts School in February 2022, alongside Enhypen members Jay and Sunoo. -Currently is attending SNU, course she's taking is currently unknown -Trained under JYP for 4 years -JJ is fluent in English, Korean, Japanese and a bit of Chinese -Her English has a little Australian accent due to her conversing with Chan and Felix in English very often -Prefers to wear glasses rather than lenses because she sometimes feels lazy to put it in her eyes -She thinks her charming points are her eye smile and her bubbly and chaotic personality -Was supposed to have a 4th degree black belt in taekwondo but stopped when she started training -JJ can roller skate and do tricks -JJ can ice skate as well, but still has a hard time -The members and the fans calls her and Felix "The Sunshine's of the group" -Her hobbies are listening to music, cooking and baking, dancing, helping 3racha in producing and composing, playing video games -She loves to annoy Jay every chance she gets (mostly with his iconic quote when he was in I-LAND) -JJ is the 3rd tallest member -The S in her name means 'Sassy' and 'Savage' -Her representative animal is a penguin, she chose it because she thinks they're cute and also because she walks like a penguin -She loves to spoil her members -She loves cats and wanted to own one when she was young but couldn't due to her brother being allergic to cats. -JJ is like the 2nd leader of Stray Kids due to her naturally mature aura and leader like persona according Chan, and has said he trusts JJ in making decisions he couldn't -Has a 165 Iq -She has a photographic memory -She's very flexible and her bones are double jointed -Has a very keen 6th sense as well as her hearing sense -JJ goes live on twitch when she can www.twitch.tv/jeijeihyun -In the old dorm she used to share with Felix -UPDATED: As of 2020, she lives in a separate dorm with their female manager -If she wasn't in Stray Kids, she'd either be a lawyer or follow her fathers footstep -Her motto is: "Just go with the flow ~(-v-~)" and "Famous or not, we're all the same species, no one is weird, we're just different and unique in our own ways, respect each other" -Ideal: "I don't really have an ideal type, but I guess someone who can keep up with my chaotic energy," -Fans speculated she described Kim Sunoo of Enhypen when someone asked her to describe a person she'd date, and thought she has a crush on the said idol.

More to be added... ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Masterlist *��˚☕୧  𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒑 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Taglist [open]: Send an ask if you wanna be added Ps: Updates might be slow cuz of school

[milliumizoomi]

Not the same

Pairings: Bakugou x GN! Reader

Warnings: Feeling Lost for Bakugou, cursing, Angst, Angst and more angst.

A/n: I was actually really excited to write this cuz at times I just CRAVE angst

You sat in the dark room, tied to a chair with ropes made of metal secured around your wrists and feet. There was also duct tape on your mouth to prevent you from saying anything or perhaps using your quirk. Next to you was the hotheaded ash blonde as he was knocked out on the chair next to you, bound the same way you were. You knew you had liked the boy for the way he was driven to become the best but you never said a word of it to anyone, not even your closest friends.

You both had gotten kidnapped while you were on a trip with the class, although this is Bakugou’s second time. ‘Ugh.. this sucks.. I hope the teachers and our friends come save us..’ you thought. You knew it would make no difference in your tried to wiggle out of the ropes because you had already tried and in return, the ropes sent an electric shock through your body so you didn’t run the risk of doing it again. The door to the room you were in then busted open and the ash blonde boy next to you jolted up at the sound. ‘He heard that..’ you said to yourself. “MMM! MFPHH!” Bakugou attempted to scream but they were muffled by the duct tape. “Aha! Look who decided to wake up..” Shigaraki said menacingly. You both narrowed your eyes at him. “Aww.. no need to get hostile.. tell you what, me and the rest of the league will come back in a few minutes then we can get this started..” he grinned evilly and said as he left and shut the door behind him. You rolled your eyes at him as he left. What he didn’t know was that your friends had managed to find where you guys were really quickly and were making their way into the building to save you.

About three minutes pass and suddenly you and Bakugou see shadows fly by each of you. You both get taken aback. Bakugou was ready to start making noise. “Shhh we’re here to get you free!” Kirishima whispered. But you then realize that he was faced to Bakugou. You brushed it off, thinking that it was just because they’ve known each other longer. But you turn to realize your friends since childhood stood there as well but they were also looking directly at Bakugou, not even sparing you a glance. You eyebrows furrow at this. The room was then filled with all the students trying to get the ropes of Bakugou and then Bakugou’s muffled screams.

You just sat by and waited, thinking that they would eventually tend to you.. but things took a turn and you realized it but didn’t want to accept it. “Ow! Ugh you bastards.. why’d you even come here?!” Bakugou yelled at he ripped the duct tape off his mouth and whisper-yelled to classmates while twisting his joints. “We came to save you Bakugou!” Your best friend for years said to him. You looked up at them bewildered. Were they not going to help you? You were confused. And then they did the worst thing they could’ve done.

They started to leave. And they left you as you were.

You wanted to cry. You never expected them to do this to you. You started making a flurry of noise and muffled screams to alert them that you were there too. But they just ignored you and continued to escape. None of them looked back. Not Midoriya, Not Uraraka, Not Kaminari, Not Iida, Not Todoroki, Not Kirishima, hell not even the so called “friends” you’ve had since childhood... or even Bakugou. They all just began escaping without even caring about you.

You were making frustrated screams and rocking the chair back and forth. Everyone began jumping out of the hole in the wall that they had initially came through to get to Bakugou. Of the last to go was your “best friend”. She turned and looked at you dead in your face. You gave her pleading eyes, silently begging her to save you. She just turned away and jumped out of the hole. They knew you were there.. they apparently just didn’t care.

You held your head down as you realized that you now had no one..

Not your parents, not your teachers, and not even the “friends” you claimed to have. A couple minutes after they all jumped and were apparently out of the area, the door swung open to reveal the league. They all stopped at the door as their eyes widened. Their eyes went from the hole in the wall, to you, to the the discarded chair next to you. They then began to connect the dots. “Damn.. that’s low.. especially for them..” Dabi says as he scratched the back of his head. The villains actually felt bad for you. Yes they kidnapped you for the intent to do some bad things to you but when they realized that Bakugou got rescued and you got left behind, they felt disgust. Not even them would abandon one of their own.

Toga walked up to you and crouched down to you to realize that tears were coming down your cheeks and rolled off the duct tape but there was no expression on your face. “Hey..” Toga said softly. You looked up at her. “You feel abandoned don’t you..?” she asked. You nodded with no emotion. “Then how would you like to join us..? We won’t leave you.. I promise.” She said. You stilled, not knowing whether or not you should do it. They realized you pondering over the invitation.

Shigaraki then chimed in. “Tell you what.. we’ll free you ONLY if you promise not attack us or escape!” He said. You nodded. At this point, you knew you had nothing to lose or anywhere to go so you agreed. Twice freed you and you got up and stretched and ripped the duct tape off of your mouth. “Ouch! That hurt!” You exclaimed as you rubbed your lips. “Follow us” Shigaraki said as he and the rest of the league turned on their heels and walked out of the room with you following close behind.

You spent the night with them and they actually made you feel a little better. But there was still a giant hole in your heart of where your love for UA and your friends was. And it was slowly filling with hatred. “Hey.. Toga?” You called out to Toga. “Hmm? Yes L/N?” She responded. “ I accept your invitation..” you said as you turned to her and grinned. The entire league perked up and smiled evilly at this. “Welcome to the League of Villains then L/N” Shigaraki said. You smiled back menacingly. “Glad to be here.. UA is never going to be the same to me.. after what happened today, I don’t trust a single one of those bastards..!” You said darkly. “And that my friend, is the type of society we’ve been trying to show the world.. but don’t worry I can tell you’ll fit in great here.. and we have the perfect job for you..” Shigaraki responded to you as the rest of the league responded with sounds of agreement. This.. was the start of your new life with a new family that vowed to never leave you.. your life of villainy.

Months later, everyone at UA was going out on with their day normally. They were going to class, eating lunch and practicing as such. No one even remembered about you. Your ex best friend, when asked where you were, lied to all the teachers saying that you left on your own free will. There was no one else around to witness so the rest of your class never heard these conversations. Right now, class was going to be over in a couple minutes and lunch was next. When the bell rung, all the students got out of their classes and made their way to the cafeteria. The hallways were now empty.

Perfect.

With help from Kurogiri, you went from the LOV base to the empty hallway. “Thank you ‘Giri!” You said as you stuck your head back through the warp gate. Kurogiri patted your head gently and told you to go. You nodded and started to skip through the hallway as the warp gate closed.

In the cafeteria, everyone was being all happy or whatever and it made you sick to your stomach. ‘To think I actually liked this place full of fakes and wannabes’ you thought as you rolled your eyes. You strolled through the doorway, and by first glance, on one could even tell that you were a villain.. but they’d find out soon enough. You walked past a table and picked up an apple a student had and took a bite out of it. You then tossed it back over your head and back to the student. This made the student angry as he got up to call you out.

“HEY! Who do you think you are?!” He screamed. You turned back around to face him with your eyes glowing. All of a sudden, the student couldn’t speak anymore. It was like the inside of his throat was completely destroyed as he also began to cough up blood. Everyone witnessed this happen but no one knew it was you because you just walked away and no one realized you. ‘These hoes haven’t changed a bit.. never realized me in my time of need.. ever!’ Thoughts like these kept running through your head as you then decide to make your presence known.

You ran and got up one of the tables. “Hey heroes!” You yelled. At the sound of your voice, everyone stilled and looked at you. “How’s it going?” You asked. Your ex best friend’s eyes widened at the sight of you. How were you not dead? She was sure those villains were gonna kill you.. unless..

As she thought about these things, your former teacher, Mr. Aizawa called out to you. “L/N? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at your new school?” New school?? What? You stood up there confused. “What the hell are you talking about?” You asked. Everyone was taken back at the sound in your voice but brushed it off as the conversation continued. “Your new school. Ex BSF/N said that you moved schools” Mr. Aizawa said. At the mention of her name, she perked up. She was starting to get nervous.

“OH?! Did she?! You don’t say..” you replied as you looked her dead in her face. “Well.. I’ve started a new line of work I guess.. telling from what happened with that kid over there that’s still throwing up blood.. AYE! Get over it!” You said as you looked at the kid who’s was at the verge of death by your hand. Everyone’s blood ran cold as they looked at the kid who was dying from blood loss. “SOMEONE GET RECOVERY NOW!!” Aizawa yelled.

“L/N WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” Bakugou then got up and blurted out. “Shut up before I kill you..” you replied as cold as ice. Everyone froze. “Oh and you don’t get to refer to me by that name anymore..” you continued you looked away. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Your ex best friend yelled. You looked at her with such a cold look she could be frozen. “What’s wrong with me?” You laughed menacingly. “Oh so what?! You can leave me in the hands of villains and expect me to come back and be buddy buddy with you?!” You blurted out.

Everyone’s faces paled. Left.. with villains?? Everyone was silent. “Oh so now none of you have nothing to say huh?!” You screamed. “I hate all of you.. Kirishima, Midoriya, Uraraka, Todoroki, Kaminari and even Iida.. you lowlifes claim to be heroes but left your classmate behind in the hands of villains.. you make me sick!” You stated. “And then to top it off.. the person I was kidnapped with left me and my so called childhood friends did too.. some heroes you are” you continued as you put your hand on your face. “You WHAT?!” Aizawa yelled. The kids felt ashamed of themselves. In truth, all except your best friend had forgotten to come back for you. They knew they shouldn’t have ignored you though. But your best friend remembered about you but chose to lie about you’re whereabouts.

“See? Assholes.. none of you deserve the term hero!” You said. “You’re so ashamed of yourself because you got caught.. pathetic.” You continued. They all held their heads down. Someone one went to say something to you again but you turned to them, eyes glowing as you destroyed the inside of their throat too.

Everyone was shocked. “Bastard.. why?” Bakugou said. You looked at him and smiled evilly. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m against heroes now.. so to put it in short.. I’m a villain” you said while laughing at him. “You did this to me.. to think I even liked you.. ugh” you continued as you rolled your eyes. ‘They liked me..?’ He thought. He went to say something until another student jumped up to grab you. They held on tightly to you. You didn’t even budge. You just leaned over and whispered in their ear. “Die..” Then just like that, the student dropped to the floor with you looking at their body with no emotion. “Shouldn’t have touched me..” you said. Everyone was shocked. They knew your quirks but they never thought there’d be a day when you’d use them like that.

Your quirks were pierce and control. Pierce allows you to look at a person and cause damage to any part of the person’s body at any degree you want. Control works somewhat like Shinsou’s quirk but the difference is you don’t have to ask a question to take control of the person. As long as the person is touching you or makes eye contact with you then your able to control them.

Aizawa went into hero mode as he erased your quirk and stared to charge at you. “GET EVERYONE OUT HERE NOW!” He screamed. You began dodging him with ease because you know all his moves having trained with him a lot in the past.

“Well.. looks like I’m done here..” you yawned. You flipped onto the top of the the food serving section in the cafeteria as a warp gate opened behind you. “It’s been fun.. oh and the names V/N and I’m the new member of the LOV!” You stated as the rest of the league emerged through the warp gate. “Thanks for the new asset to our group. They make a great team player.” Shigaraki says as he grins. “Aww.. thanks Shiggy” you said.

You turned back to the student and the heroes who were glaring and shocked by all of this. “Thanks for opening my eyes.. It’s all your fault.. so thanks to you~” you said in a sing song voice. “Let’s go.” Dabi said as he turned back to the warp gate. “Ok! Bye everyone~” you and Toga said in unison as you all went through the gate.

You turned back for a second as said “Its all thanks to you that I’m not the same.” Then walked into the warp gate.

As you disappear the words you said rang through everyone’s head like a loud bell. The words that stuck with them the most was “It’s all your fault..” and “Its all thanks to you that I’m not the same.” This was a blow to UA, a blow to their hearts.. and a blow to their mentality. Physically, they lost 3 students that day but mentally they lost 4.

And while they beat up themselves and grieved over what happened, you went on to live a life of evil and hatred.. all thanks to UA high.

©Property of sunaslilone. Please don’t rectify, repost or modify without my permission.

Tagging: @nathaslosttheirshit @dragonsdreamoffire @uniquabackyardigans @kiribis-confesion-page @unfazedrose @haikyu-whore (Open ! Click here to be added!)

A/n: I wrote this when I saw the post @nathaslosttheirshit made so this was their idea.

Also this is like my first G/N fic.

[thejolteonmastertjspoilers]

The Monoma Meta Nobody Asked For

I don’t remember who it was on Reddit that said it makes sense for Monoma to be one of the most empathetic characters in BNHA cuz of his Quirk, (his quirk allows him to walk in the shoes of other people in ways most will never be able to even if for 5 minutes at a time), but let’s talk about it for a minute.

Monoma is a character full of contradictions but there’s a method to the madness. 

Let’s take a real deep look at the manga shall we?

It’s pretty much canon that Monoma trash talks 1-A so much in-part b/c he cares that much... too much... about his own classmates.  It’s implicitly obvious based on the way he interacts with his classmates and phrases his rants at class 1-A. 

The fact that he’s obviously influenced by Vlad is just the cherry on top. 

He’s prideful of not just himself but also his friends.  Let’s break down the nuances there.

Ch196 above, Ch207 below.

Empathy

The kid has a way with words. 

The kid has a weirdly poetic way with words.

He goes out of his way to encourage or reassure his classmates in a deeply thoughtful manner at every given opportunity.

He hyped up Setsuna Tokage before her battle with Bakugo and we saw him grin in pride when Komori took down Tokoyami. 

Whenever Monoma does criticize his classmates, it’s always frank, honest, but constructive, with the intention to help them improve.  He’s even contrasted with his own teacher for being relatively more kind in the delivery of his criticism (see the next screenshot).  Given that Monoma’s shown to be strongly influenced by Vlad, this particular difference stands out.

You never see an anime/manga character get fancifully philosophical & genuinely helpful like this unless they are an adult, usually the MC’s mentor.  Monoma’s legit acting more like an anime mentor than any of Deku’s multiple mentors.  lmfaooo.

Realistically speaking, all of this, the philosophical speeches & level-headed advice, takes an incredible amount of emotional & mental labor.  The kid’s practically doing half of Vlad’s job for him.

It’s during the joint training arc we begin to see why his classmates put up with him and are on friendly terms despite how obnoxious & cheesy he can be & how often they need to keep him in check.

It’s clear even as far back as the sports festival that his classmates don’t actually hate him, despite the smacks & tough love they also just shake their heads with a smile on their face as they say “sorry about him,” cuz that’s just the way he is.  They love him anyways.

He’s an annoying little sh*t but he’s their annoying little sh*t.  Perhaps they even realize why he acts the way he does towards class 1-A, it’s because he cares too much.

Sketch translated by @aitaikimochi​

Putting Up An Act

I think there’s actually even more to it when it comes to his rowdy & brash behaviors. 

Monoma is empathetic because of how his Quirk works.  He needs to learn to use the Quirks of others in order to become a hero.  In doing so he logically needs to become privy to all the Quirk’s weaknesses, not just their strengths.  Not only does he need to become privy to these often deeply personal details of one’s lived life, he needs to experience them, even if for just five minutes at a time.  It’s natural, even necessary, for Monoma to become exceptionally close to his classmates.

But he’s only like that because of how his Quirk works.  It’s his naturally nurtured self.  His conscious self, though, is notably different.

What we see when Monoma says he and Shinsou need to do unheroic things to get by is not his naturally nurtured self, but is a conscious decision.

At some point in his life, Monoma came to the conclusion that being too kindhearted all the time will be weakness.  This is clearly implied, almost outright stated when we heard Monoma’s thoughts when faced with Deku’s Black Whip, “All of the hopes and dreams in my mind from when I was younger are gradually becoming these heavy burdens... like some sort of curse.”  I am 99.999% sure it’s Monoma’s thoughts being shown there because the speech pattern & context don’t match up to Shinsou or Midoriya at all.

Basically, Monoma is a little sh*t because he saw his own empathy as a weakness, and overcompensates for it.  He’s trained himself to be brash & mischievous, likely from a very young age given how consistently brash he is.  We can see a little bit of this when interacting with his class-B classmates as well.

It was @thyandrawrites​ who first noticed this in this post, but here we see Monoma scolding Kendou after losing the beauty contest, giving perhaps too much tough love & TetsuTetsu steps in to Kendou’s defense.

Given how Monoma during the Joint Training arc clearly said everything he did to motivate his friends to do better, this is likely not an isolated occurrence.  The dude cares way too goddamn much for anyone’s good.

Yet there’s something else up with the guy too, something else that contributes even more to his unhealthy obsession with the rivalry vs class-A.  The dude has some serious self-esteem issues but is too prideful to seek real help.

Self-doubt

The fact that he’s the only member of class-B who failed the midterm despite having an intelligence stat of 5/5 speaks for itself.

Him failing the academic exam would be a sign of serious issues going on under the surface in itself, him failing the practical means he probably failed b/c he couldn’t hold his own and his teammate had to pick up the slack.

Him failing b/c he held back his teammate would have hit very close to home since we now know he was told “You can’t be a hero if you can’t do anything yourself” since he was a kid.

Basically, yet another reason he continues to antagonize class-A is a textbook example of someone pushing their insecurities onto someone or something else.

For something often played off as comedic relief there’s a lot of layers as to why Monoma does what he does.

But wait, there’s f*cking more.  There’s actually a particular reason Monoma expresses his insecurities in this unhealthy manner, and that reason ties into what I’ve already begun to address about his empathy.

Another Act

I don’t think it’s accident that the first time we see him have a real heart-to-heart with someone is when he’s attempting to do it for the sake of someone else.  Even if it is in a clumsy manner that ends up annoying Shinsou, it’s the intent I’m interested in here.

We almost never see Monoma receive or accept praise or reassurance, he’s always the one giving it.  He always makes it a point to put himself in the position where he’s being the emotionally strong one. 

He got over class 1-A securing their victory exceptionally fast, ready to put on a strong face for Tokage and the rest of his class.

The few times we do see him genuinely depressed, he’s distancing himself from others.  

He’s afraid of holding others back not just as a hero, but emotionally as well.  His instinct to be emotionally strong for the people he cares about stems not just from his strong empathy and caring nature nature itself, but also from his pride, insecurities and conscious decision to do everything he can do.

This is why he’s too prideful to seek or accept real emotional help & ends up venting his emotions in unhealthy & destructive ways.

His many depictions as an actor of sorts was intentional.  He juggles many acts, he puts on an act of emotional strength for his classmates, and he puts on an act of cruelty to get by as a hero.  To antagonize people in an attempt to throw them off their game.  Sometimes... oftentimes even, he misapplies these charades & gets carried away.  Oftentimes he fails entirely, he’s trying to do some hella complex things for a kid.

Finally, His Pride

Let’s not kid ourselves here, the dude has a major superiority/inferiority complex.  He fails to see how needlessly cruel he’s being when saying class-A asked to be attacked by villains etc.

I’m willing to bet he’ll be in a phase denial for a while now that Class-B and Class-A have gotten more openly friendly in recent chapters.  But because he cares so much about his classmates he’ll likely eventually come around to adjusting to a new frenemy relationship with 1-A... with much difficulty when we take his pride, insecurities & self-righteous envy into account.

He’ll probably end up being Tsundere about everything to protect his ego and so Horikoshi can keep using him for comedic relief lol.  Even if he does realize a lot of what he’s done was f*ked up, he’s too brash of a prankster to ever go fully soft on them either.

TL;DR... Monoma is a piece of mf work.  Not surprising really.

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - How A Star Is Born ch.VIII

A Hercules AU, founded by @evaroze, whom this fic is a gift for. I hope y’all like it!

ch.VII - ch.IX

AO3 link

~~~~~~~~~~

A year after Dipper’s first victory and it felt like Gideon had died a thousand deaths.

Dipper became the most famous hero in all of Greece. He defeated every single monster or villain he had come up against, from angry warthogs that he served to the king on a grill, to wicked shapeshifters, to mad ex-girlfriends of Stan’s. No foe could stand against this hero in any way, shape, or form, and unfortunately this was very bad news for Gideon and Bill.

Bill left his minion alone to smoke and recover from being burned alive, shaking with red anger as he watched the fallen god press his hands into concrete with his teacher by his side, smiling proudly. “I can’t believe this! How is that little twerp still alive?!”

“W-W-We still have time…” Gideon whimpered, curled up and lying on his side.

“I’ve got twenty-four hours to get rid of this bozo!” Bill screamed as he towered over his slave. “The scheme I’ve been setting up for thousands of years is going up in smoke thanks to you! And all you can say is WE’VE STILL GOT TIME?!” And Bill snapped his fingers once more and Gideon was engulfed in flames, crying and yelling in unbearable pain.

Pacifica, with her back to the chaos, was smiling at the hero and enjoying the show all around her. “Tough luck, looks like Dippin’ Dots is hitting every curve you throw at him.”

Bill’s red instantly went away as he stared at the young woman before him. His eyes squinted happily and he floated to her side. “Hm, maybe I haven’t been throwing the right curves at him…”

“Don’t even go there.”

“See, Llama, he’s gotta have a weakness, everybody’s got one. We just need to find out Pinetree’s.”

“I totally did my part,” Pacifica scoffed. “Make Marshmallow over there do it.”

“He couldn’t handle him as an infant.” Bill sneered. “I need someone who can… handle him as a man.”

“Look, I’ve sworn off man-handling.” Pacifica snapped and walked away.

“Well, hey that’s good!” Bill laughed, making the young woman stop. “Cuz that’s what gotcha into this jam in the first place, isn’t it? You sold your soul to me to save your father’s life. And how did the guy thank you? By throwing you out when no one wanted to marry you and give dowry? He hurt you real bad, didn’t he? It hurt that no one wants the bratty little Llama, didn't it?”

“I get it, I learned my lesson, okay?” Pacifica croaked as she held her forehead.

“Hey, hey,” Bill cooed and placed a friendly hand on either one of her shoulders. “I tell you what, since I feel sorry for you, I’ll make you a new offer. You give me the key to taking down Wonderboy, and I’ll give you the thing you want more than anything in the whole Multiverse: your freedom.”

Pacifica’s eyes widened and her pupils shrunk as her mouth hung open.

~~~~~~~~~~

Through the fast-pacing, slightly-overwhelming year, the Temple of the Gods became Dipper’s sanctuary. At night, he would sneak away from prying eyes and visit his family, feeling all of his stress and pressure melt away.

Now not only bound to a small journal, Dipper and Mabel could talk more freely. Even more so now that Dipper funded a statue of the young muse to be put in the temple, and now a Mabel made of stone could hug him and punch his shoulder and talk and skip around him, even if she couldn’t feel his warmth or if she risked breaking bones, but he had god-like strength, so who cares? Their bond became even stronger as they swapped stories and got to know each other very well. Many times Mabel would happily sit criss-cross and listen and watch as her twin brother retold his victories to her.

This evening, however, Dipper seemed very tired. He sat at the foot of the huge statue of the Ruler of the Gods and Mabel looked down at him softly before sitting next to him in her statued-form. “Hey, what’s the matter?”

Dipper blinked and shook his head. “N-Nothing!”

Mabel smiled cockily and poked his ribs to lightly tickle him. “C’mon, you can’t hide anything from me. What’s up?”

The young hero sighed and leaned back with his hands on the steps behind him. “It’s just… I’m the most famous person of all in Greece, right?”

“Right.”

“And I’ve beaten every monster I’ve met, right?”

“Right.”

“I’m even an action-figure.” Dipper added as he threw his hands up in the air.

“Yeah,” Mabel said slowly. “So?”

Dipper looked at his long-lost sister and asked her heavily, “So why am I not a god?”

Mabel’s eyes widened in realization before she looked down at her long dress. “Oh.”

“To rejoin the gods, I gotta become a true hero.” Dipper restated. “What, am I missing something? Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Mabel said quickly and patted his shoulder reassuringly. “You’ve been doing great! And hey, you’ve only been at it for, what, a year? You’re just… not there yet. Remember, there’s a difference between being a hero and a true hero, but you’ll get there one day, I know you will.”

Dipper smiled at her and said, “Thanks, Mabel. You’re right. I just have to be patient.”

“Besides, you’ve got plenty of time.” Mabel reminded him with a giggle. “It’s not like you’re gonna die soon or something.”

Dipper laughed alongside her, though he couldn’t quite shake the desire that he would rather be home sooner or later.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dipper walked back to his very large house after going through the lush garden. He had tried not to have a home so big but he had earned so much gold that even after donating to the orphanage he grew up in and many other causes like feeding the poor and providing housing for the homeless, he still had more money than he knew what to do with and Stan seemed to really enjoy living in the lap of luxury, so they met halfway and had a very nice house that was big but not so big that they required five maids.

Dipper entered his home and could see candlelight coming from down the hall. The old man must still be awake. The young hero smiled and moved down the hall to tease his teacher, but as he turned a corner, he was met with something that scared him much more than any monster.

“STAN!” Dipper dashed to him and was on his knees, the old man lying on the cold floor with a dripping candle by his side, a miracle the house hadn’t been caught on fire thanks to being made of stone. “Stan, can you hear me?!”

Dipper helped the unconscious man sit up to get a good look at him. He appeared more dead than alive, but the hero refused to believe it. He scooped the old man up in his arms and ran as fast as he could to the doctor, praying to the gods that Stan would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~

Mabel was humming to herself as she emerged from her room, having finished meditating and projecting herself onto a statue to talk to her brother. She grew worrisome, however, when she saw her great-uncle sitting at the front steps of the temple, holding his face, covering his eyes, and breathing heavily, like he was struggling with his emotions.

“Grunkle Ford,” Mabel said softly as she hurried to his side and put kind hands on his shoulders. “What’s the matter?”

He looked up at his niece with heavy, shining eyes that refused to cry. “It’s Stanley. He’s running out of time.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“These things happen,” A doctor calmly explained. “As a person ages their bodies start to fail them gradually over time. From what we can tell, Stan had a heart attack. Slight damage to the heart, nothing extremely life-threatening, but a good sign that his time is running out. I wouldn’t quite count the days yet, but I would also advise you value your time with him while you can. I’m so sorry.”

Dipper was now left alone to dwell on the news. He knew Stan wasn’t exactly young, but he always seemed unstoppable, so lively, that the idea of him dying was scary and already made the young hero very mournful. He made himself get up from his stool in the hallway to enter the door his teacher was in, but he was surprised to find Stan standing up and slipping on his cloak. “There you are, let’s blow this joint already.”

“Stan!” Dipper scolded. “What are you doing out of bed?!”

“What, I’m fine now, kid.” Stan waved Dipper’s worries away casually. “Relax. Let’s just go home, I got a bottle of expired grape juice waiting for me.”

“Stan, this is serious!”

“Look, I don’t blame you for being worried, but I need you to trust me on this.” Stan said firmly with kind brown eyes, giving Dipper a firm pat on the shoulder. “I’m fine, okay?”

“But…” Dipper allowed Stan to lead the way out of the room and throughout the hospital for the quiet night. “But… you’re dying.”

“In a way we all are, kid.”

“But…”

“Dipper, listen to me.” Stan interrupted and gave the young hero a stern look as they walked down the street of Thebes. “I’m an old man, I’ve lived a very long life. I’ve known I was dying for a long time, but none of that matters to me. All that matters is that you become a true hero and get to be with your family, whether I get to see it or not.”

“But… I want you to see it.” Dipper sighed. He was very tired. He could feel so much on his shoulders, he always felt like the entire world was on his shoulders, and as they days wore on it was getting harder to ignore. He sat at a large fountain in town-square and looked at his mentor heavily. “I know you won’t be around forever, but… you’re like family to me, Stan. I want you to see me become a true hero. I want to make you proud. I want you to see me in the stars like you want.”

“Hey hey,” Stan sat next to him slowly and patted his back. “Way to get all sappy on me, hero. And where’s all this coming from? I am proud of you. I’ve always been proud of you. Since day one, I’ve been so proud of you and happy I got to teach you. I know you’ll make it someday, I know you’ll be up in the stars and be with your sister, and that’s good enough for me.”

Dipper smiled sadly, a bit overwhelmed but still appreciative. “Still, I… Am I doing something wrong? I thought I’d be a true hero by now? What more can I do?”

“Being a true hero is something you gotta discover for yourself.” Stan said and poked at Dipper’s strong chest. “You gotta look inside all this squishy stuff. Dig a little deeper. But you got something I’ve never seen in anybody, and I know that’s gonna make you into a god someday, just you wait and see.”

Dipper still couldn’t shake the feeling like he didn’t want to wait for someday to come, but he still smiled and thanked Stan for his words.

~~~~~~~~~~

Miraculously, despite his lifeline being short, Stan was just as energetic and lively as always the next day. Dipper tried to talk him into resting, but the old man refused and was there for all of Dipper’s obligations. Stan was right by his side for the opening of the newest gym, he happily partake in lunch with Dipper and the mayor of Thebes, and in the afternoon they went home to change into nicer togas for a modeling show.

Stan said something about a quick nap and went to his room to snooze the warm afternoon away. Dipper chuckled and was nearly scared to death when a soothing voice from beside a pillar said, “Oh this is what heroes do on their days off?”

Dipper grinned and greeted her warmly. It had been a long time since he had last seen her. “Wow, Pacifica! It’s great to see you again, I… I missed you.”

Pacifica approached slowly and smiled slyly at him. “Thanks, Dippin’ Dots. Man, you look good, but rough. When was the last time you had a break?”

“Oh, I rest, Stan…”

“You know I never really thanked you for saving my life, did I?” Pacifica interrupted. “How about dinner?”

As much as a date with such a beautiful girl made Dipper want to do a backflip, his immediate concern was leaving Stan alone for too long. “Oh, I dunno, Stan’s got the day booked and…”

“He’ll be okay, he’s taking a nap, isn’t he?” Pacifica asked. “He can rest, you can get some fresh air and some food. Come on, my treat.”

Dipper smiled sheepishly and she put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, baby blue eyes sparkling at him like a beautiful spring sky. Swallowing, the young smitten hero nodded. “Okay, sure.”

[detectivejigsawpines]

Relatively Relativity-part 2 (Some adjustments required)

Eventually, the worst of the noise subsided.

Only for Mabel to take another look at her boy grunkles, and make them nearly jump out of their skins with her amazed and delighted squeal of, “Oh my gosh, you guys are so CUUUUUTEEEE!!!!”

“Gah!”  Stan saw the impending doom, and tried too late to escape from one of her arms snatching him up into a hug.  Seconds later Ford was grabbed by her other arm, and made a strangled noise as he had what felt like all of his air squeezed out of him.

Mabel actually lifted both of them off their feet in her enthusiasm, swinging them back and forth with far more strength than someone her age should have been capable of when they hadn’t spent years living on the streets or traveling the multiverse.  “You guys are just the most precious little pair of sweeties I’ve ever seen!  As soon as we get home I’m making you both tiny sweaters and taking a hundred pictures!!”

“Mabel-leggo-we need air-” Stan struggled, and finally just rolled up her sleeve and licked her arm.  Even though she was more often than not guilty of using the same tactic, it was enough to make her release them.

Dipper was by now curled up in the fetal position against a tree, rocking back and forth and gasping, “Not again, not again, this can’t be happening again!”  He glanced down at himself.  “I mean, at least I’m still in my own body, so that’s nice.”  He resumed rocking.  “But this still can’t be happening!”

“Okay, okay, everybody STOP!”

Ford waited until all eyes were on him, and then climbed up onto a nearby convenient tree stump.  He adjusted his glasses in a way that looked soothingly Ford-like even in his tiny child body and higher-pitched voice.  “Let’s all just calm down for a second.”

He glanced over at the flower, and saw with concern that it had wilted, with all the petals lying in a heap around the stem.

That can’t be good.

“...I think we all need to go home so I can examine that-” he pointed to the remains of the flower- “and figure out what kind of spell it cast on us.  This is nothing to panic over.”

“Nothing to panic over?!” Dipper demanded.  Fascinating; even with his voice fully developed he still managed to make it crack to an astonishing degree.  “Look at me, Grunkle Ford!  I’m old!”

“Yeah, and if ya don’t figure out how ta calm down you’re probably gonna start giving yourself a heart attack!” Stan said.

“Stanley!  That is not helpful!” Ford snapped, hopping off the stump and going to his nephew’s side.

“...Sorry.”  Stan joined him, and Mabel crouched down on Dipper’s other side.  Three hands rubbed his shoulders as he pushed his head between his knees.

After a minute Dipper took a few deep breaths, and then slowly got to his feet.  He still looked shaken up by the situation, but at least he had calmed down a little.  “Ugh, ow.  Do your guys’s joints creak this much when you have to stand up?”

“Oh yeah.  It’s even worse first thing in the morning.”  Stan stretched his back, and then his eyes widened in delight.  “Whoa, wait.  It’s been years since I’ve been able ta do that without it feelin’ all messed up!”  He looked down at his legs, and a wide smile stretched across his cheeks.

Before Ford could stop him, he took off running back down the trail with a whoop.

“Stanley!  Stanley, get back here!  We have to-”

Stan was already practically out of sight.  Ford groaned, and shrugged off his now-giant backpack which he had barely realized he was still wearing.  He glanced at the-well, technically the children, they still had the minds of thirteen-year-olds.  “Find something to put that flower in, would you?”

Then he chased after his brother.

****

Ford was disconcerted when he realized, very quickly, that his body had reverted back to the physical limitations he had possessed at this age.

Back then, while it was all well and good to go running around on the beach with Stan, chasing the waves or the sea gulls or each other, he had hated exercise when there were far more enjoyable options available, like reading his books or just sitting and drawing something.  He hadn’t gotten into the habit of going for long walks in the woods, or been forced to spend a lot of time running for his life from interdimensional bounty hunters.

Soon enough Ford was forced to slow down because of the stitch in his side, and double over gasping with the need to get more air into his lungs.

He clenched his fists against his knees in frustration, because he knew that he was capable of running faster than this, at least when he was in his regular body, he’d done it a million times, and now he couldn’t.

A few moments later he heard the thud of boots pounding against the ground, and a familiar out-of-breath voice.

“Whoo!  What a rush!  If I tried doin’ that when I was old I’d have ta sit on the couch for a week afterwards!  Ha!  Who’s an old fossil now, Mabel?”

Coming from the man (boy?  Shoot, that was going to get confusing pretty fast) who was capable of punching out giant squid monsters and outrunning angry leprechauns while carrying a heavy treasure chest, that was definitely an exaggeration.  But Ford was too busy trying to stop wheezing to call him on it.

“...You okay, Poindexter?” Stan asked, reaching out and touching his shoulder.

Ford lifted his eyes until they met his twin’s.  “W-We...should probably...go back to the kids.  I realize...you’re excited...about rediscovering your youth...but they’re not enjoying this as much as you are.”

Stan gave him a chagrined grimace.  “...Oh yeah.  Sorry.”

Ford patted his arm as he straightened up.  “‘S’ okay.  I get it.  It feels good to get some of those aches out of my bones.”

“Yeah, no kidding!”  Stan looked down at his arms with wide eyes.  “Can you believe these things were ever this skinny?”

Ford snorted.  “Your face is back to being mostly nose, though.”

“Hey!”  Stan slugged him in the arm.  “Take a look in the mirror, genius-you’re not much better off!”

Ford punched him back, giggling.

He was a little surprised by how natural a sound that felt to make, now that he was no longer an old man.

****

It turned out that Dipper had emptied out part of one of the water bottles, and then dug the flower out-roots and all, just in case-before placing it and its petals inside.  He’d even managed to get some pollen samples and add them to the inside of the bottle.

“Good job, Dipper!” Ford praised him, accepting it and slipping it into his backpack.  Then he straightened up, puffing out his chest.  “Okay, let’s get this back to the lab, and turn ourselves back to normal!”

Mabel cooed and clasped her hands together at her chin.  “Awww, you sound so adorable when you say stuff like that now!”

...Ford couldn’t help feeling like she was spoiling the gravitas of the moment.  He tried to ignore Stan’s wide smirk, and adjusted his coat collar with a cough before he started marching back the way they’d come.

****

A new problem arose when they reached the car.

Stan dug into his pocket and pulled out the keys, and just as he was unlocking the car Dipper grabbed his shoulder.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Stan raised an eyebrow at him, in a way that was still very grunkle-like despite his young face.  “Gettin’ ready ta drive us home.”

“Grunkle Stan, you’re thirteen now!  You can’t be the one driving!”

The boy folded his arms.  “Uh, last I checked, you didn’t exactly have a driver’s license, kid.”

Dipper faltered.  “I-I know how to drive the golf cart!”

“Not the same.  Besides, remind me how many times you crashed it last summer?”

“Oh, like your driving is any safer!”  Dipper lunged for the keys.

Stan jumped out of reach.  “Fair point, but this is still my car!  And nobody but nobody is allowed ta drive it but me!”

Dipper chased after him, meaning that they were suddenly running around the car, with Stan defiantly holding the keys out of his elderly nephew’s reach.  “We’re gonna get pulled over if the cops see you behind the wheel, Grunkle Stan!  Be reasonable!”

“Never!  I’m not lettin’ you scratch up my car cuz you-”

Mabel finally stepped between them.  “Boys, boys!  I have a solution that’ll fix everything!”

****

Five minutes later, Dipper was in the driver’s seat, with Stan sitting on his lap, head tucked against his shoulder.  Dipper’s feet worked the gas and brakes at his grunkle’s command, while Stan did the steering and watched the road with his newly improved vision.  Neither of them looked pleased with this solution, but they’d had to admit that they hadn’t been able to think of a better one.

Mabel and Ford sat in the back, with the water bottle containing the flower clenched in Ford’s lap.  He stared at it thoughtfully, scribbling notes in his journal and thinking about other experiences with enchanted plants, and how they might compare to this one.

Unnoticed by him, Mabel had pulled a cloth tape measure out of her pocket and was taking his measurements; already she was thinking about what kind of sweaters to make him and Stan.  Because on the one hand, both of them seemed to like the color red, and looked pretty good in it; on the other hand, this was a special occasion, and maybe she should make something in blue, or green, or gold.  Maybe all of them together?  Decisions, decisions…

She was still thinking about her options when the car pulled up in front of the Mystery Shack.  Stan turned the engine off, and unbuckled himself and Dipper.

“Geez you’ve got bony knees,” he said dryly as he looked up at his nephew.

Dipper snorted.  “Now you know how I feel.”

Fortunately Stan’s mood had improved enough for him to grin before opening the car door and bounding up the steps of the porch.

“Soos, we’re home!” he called as he opened the door.

A few seconds later there was a startled yelp, and a thud.

A little bit after that, the front door opened again, and Stan peered uneasily out at his family.

“...Guys?  I think I just killed Soos.”

********

Don’t worry, I didn’t actually kill Soos.

I’m not that much of a monster.

Usually.

[eroticcannibal]

1of2) I also def second the more ergonomic writing tools (besides some still undiagnosed joint issues, we're just now figuring out I have motor control issues 2, so if I dont grip stuff super hard I have 0 control, which does Not help even w/o joint pain), esp the stimmy ones (if they like any rubbery stim toys, like hairy tangles or stress balls or that kinda stuff, theres like, a million pencil grip options). & idk if it would help, & I would bet ur already doing it cuz ur a Good Dad, but 4 me

2of3 actually oops) what helped w/ a lot of schooling trauma was doing away w/ all the 'I kno u can do this, ur so smart & capable, u can do anything u set ur mind 2, dont give up' type abled encouragement & instead validating the fact that I am not good at math At All, like kind of 2 laughable degrees, & that if I never get better at smart stuff thats ok. Cuz all the adults in my life were like, abled NT liberals who thought being smart was The Most Important, & couldn't cope w/ a kid they

3of3) liked being, yeah, maybe kind of stupid, & so instead they just went 'Nope, ur just not trying hard enough, but I Believe In U' & absolutely nothing else. My mom suggested homeschooling cuz it seemed neat, my dad went 'Yes & then my children will be Geniuses', lost his shit when that didnt happen, & continues 2 ask me when Im gonna go 2 college despite me not being done w/ grade school. But idk if thats relevant 2 Doritos & I figure ur probly already doing the 'What u can do is ok' stuff.

Wait. Hold up. Gripping super hard isn’t??? What you should be doing??? Fuck I do that so that my writing is readable and it fucking kills my hands after like one sentence. Huh. Ok I might get myself a new pen too. Also I bet Dorito would love some stimmy ones, they’re obsessed with stim stuff lmao.

Oh god yeah, none of that kind of “encouragement”. That was a huge trigger for Dorito when they were still at school. The amount of times the teachers would have to talk to me after school and then me and Dorito would talk later, and they would cry because “they keep saying I can do it because I am clever but it’s hard and I can’t do it!” was fucking heartbreaking. Like yeah, they are clever, but NTs mistake that for capable. Knowing something doesn’t mean they can do a worksheet without accommodations. I go for stuff like “I know this is hard for you, if you want to have a go, I will be here to help you, and I’ll put a sticker on your chart.” They still ask me like EVERY TIME if they only get a sticker if they get it right and I’m like “No. You get stickers for trying.” They’ve been getting so much better with just giving things a go, even if they mess it up (perfectionism is a BIG issue with Dorito I’m so happy to see them progressing wrt that)

except the writing, obviously. Stickers ain’t helping much with that sjhfgsjgs

[keatsblue]

Snippet from ch. 18 of Foresight is Better Than Hindsight, But Insight is Better Than Either One - my attempt at writing Dabihawks. More Shiggy POV, cuz I know y’all love it.

***

Shigaraki stretched from his place on the couch, bones popping. After some consideration (and a whole lot of pasta), he and Natsuo had decided to move their gaming session to the main room of the hideout, if only for the fact that it would be more difficult to fall asleep, there. The plan had worked, somewhat.

He turned toward the other, almost jolting when he found that he was already being regarded. Natsuo’s eyes were slightly red-rimmed, bloodshot from lack of sleep.

Still, he managed to send the villain a small, soft smile, and Shigaraki couldn’t help but feel those joints he’d just popped turn to jelly under the scrutiny. On the coffee table, Dabi’s candle still burned, filling the hideout with its warm scent.

It was so strange. To think this had happened to him, was still happening. Natsuo called it a first date. More privately, Shigaraki called it a miracle.

From the get-go, with Natsuo, he’d found more than just a kindred spirit—no, nothing like the rest of the League. Though he could (tentatively) call them friends now, there’d been times when tensions had run high between him and the other villains. There had been mutual understanding, sure, and equally mutual suffering, but even to this day they likely considered him a dangerous individual. He could tell, from the way their eyes followed him whenever he entered a room. The slight twitch whenever his presence caught one of them by surprise.

Natsuo was different. From the very start, there’d been no stress. No expectations. Natsuo didn’t subtly tilt his head to check his position whenever Shigaraki left his direct line of sight. He didn’t hesitate that split-second before handing something over to him, as if afraid catching him unawares would spell doom for whichever item fell into that equation.

His hands were cool to the touch, and Shigaraki knew this because Natsuo had reached out to him, on multiple occasions. Had even let him hold onto one of them, during the early hours of the morning when they’d given up the current playthrough in favor of binging some shitty late-night TV. The villain had touched it for as long as he dared, tracing and retracing the creases and mounds of the other’s palm.

Natsuo’s soft look turned into blatant staring soon enough, yet oddly, he felt no pressure to speak.

He wasn’t a leader to this man. Not a figurehead, not a tool. Not even, really, a villain.

Almost subconsciously, he felt his body lean in, drawn forward as if on an invisible string. He wondered what he was doing, what he was supposed to be. What he could be, if not the stuff of nightmares.

Anyone else would’ve been afraid. Natsuo’s eyes widened, though reflected in the gray the villain saw only recognition. That, and a patient anticipation, like the glacier that knows one day, it will carve the valley.

It was precisely that moment, of course, that Twice bumbled in the door.

Shigaraki pulled back, heat rising to his face. He felt a sense of disappointment, though he couldn’t put his finger on why. That—they—

He couldn’t say for certain what they’d been about to do, exactly, but he got the distinct sense of something botched, ruined.

He turned on Twice with a critical eye. The other villain visibly flinched, before waving his hands in the air in front of him. Placating. “Heya, boss, you’re up late! Didn’t expect you to still be awake!”

He merely raised a brow. It wasn’t so uncommon for him to be up at this hour, though he did spend most of his time in his room, so he supposed there was no way for Twice to know that.

Still, that begged the question…

“And you’re back late.”

“Heh?” Twice said, edging ever-closer to the opposite doorway. “Oh, yeah. I guess so. Are you kidding? Time has no meaning for villains!”

He barely resisted the urge to slap a hand over his own forehead. It didn’t help that behind him, he could hear Natsuo quietly stifle a few giggles. “Did you at least make sure Dabi and Natsuo’s mother made it home safe?”

At that, Twice seemed to brighten. Not a difficult thing to accomplish, all things considered. He even put his hasty retreat on hold, choosing instead to rest his forearms on the back of a barstool. “What do you take me for? Of course I did!”

“Then—”

But Twice was already talking over him, bubbly personality overflowing, and fuck, but Shigaraki already felt tired. How had he allowed himself to let so many extroverts into his League, again?

At his back, Natsuo’s giggles were growing louder, likely in response to the palpable sag of his shoulders.

Read more here

**Straight up couldn’t resist this gif, forgive me please lol

[praphit]

Extraction: The Day Sexy Violence Wasn’t Enough

I was hearing a lot of chatter about Thor's new joint - "Extraction".

I originally wasn't interested, because... well...

I look at the rest of The Avengers, right after "Endgame" -

Capt hung out with real thespians in "Knives Out",

 and now on his way to make a real dramatic mark.

(idk what Jacob did... something he ain’t have no business doing, by the look of his eyes, but Capt has got him)

Black Widow - made us feel with "Marriage Story" 

Iron-Man did a movie for the kids... I think... or this is just a typical weekend for RDJ.

However, Thor said "Give me a bunch of guns and send me away to shoot brown people."

You're better than that, Thor! Plus, I don't really want Chris Hemsworth serious. But, like I said - CHATTER. So, I'm onboard!

Plus, perhaps the best thing for us, in the midst of this pandemic, is to stay inside with sexy ass Chris Hemsworth, and watch a dumb action movie. I don't need nothing deep. I don't want to think right now. Just give us sexiness and killing.

Thor wanted to get as far away from Disney/Marvel as he could. From start to finish, he's looking for somebody to kill.

I guess he also kinda looks like he’s looking for the bathroom. I mean, he’s going to kill people on the way there, but he’s looking... and he doesn’t know if he’s going to make it.

It did take a lil work before they could shoot the movie though, so I’ll rewind a sec. The last time that we saw him, he looked like this.

He had to hit the gym, switch to some light beer (Workout Note: You can't cut beer completed; that's something that crazy people do. You also can't completely cut out pizza. I know they say you've gotta cut breads out, but... that's fake news). Some weights, some squats, half a pizza (instead of a whole), and some light beer. And if you're still not getting the results you want - get lots of money, go to the doctor and the stylist, and you too can look like this - 

I believe that we were all created by God, but some were made on a budget, and others look like Chris Hemsworth.

Now, we're ready!

The plot of this movie is simple. A kid gets kidnapped, and Chris Hemsworth needs to save the day.

That's it.

Chris plays Tyler Rake , who's family was tragically taken from him. You can't get much more generic action hero than that.

We find Tyler jumping off cliffs into the depths of the waters for fun/cuz he's a lil suicidal, and sitting down at the bottom to meditate (even at the bottom of the water, his hair looks amazing). 

From the get-go, you know that Tyler Rake is a bit off.

This mold of generic action hero (we'll say "action star", I think after a certain body count, one can't be considered a "hero" anymore) will be keeping liquor stores in business 

(another workout note: unless you've been engineered by the gods as Chris has, don't try working out on a whiskey diet - it won't end well for you)

, having teammates look at him as if he needs help (which he does), and bad guys aren't going to stand a chance. He has lost his family, and decided he's going to be crazy for the rest of his life.

This movie is in the hands of the Russo brothers (directed "Infinity War/Endgame"). They both brought some depth to the Marvel Universe. Fleshed-out Thanos. Made us get in our feelings.

They said "F that! We're just going to shoot people!"

And that's all that this movie is. I'd tell you more, but there's not much more to tell. Ever meet someone who, for better or worse, they are their career? - that's this movie. It's Tyler Rake killing people... lots of people, to save one kid... whom he just met.

Sometimes, they tried to go a lil deeper. There's a moment when the kid (the kid has a name, but no one in the movie bothered to learn it, so why should I?) starts asking Tyler about his family. Chris is crying his ass off, and the boy keeps asking him questions. Can't you see this man is hurting?! Ya jerk! In this moment, I should have felt something for Chris, but I didn't. I think I got up to get something to eat (maybe I'M the jerk). But, that kinda stuff isn't this movie's strong suit. Let's keep it moving!

Back to bullets, knife fights, rockets, people getting hit by vehicles, and blood spray!

As for that kid - parents teach your children how to run. This kid's form was terrible! Every time that he ran, he frustrated me. Chris would shout "Stay low! Stay behind me!" Nope. He couldn't seem to get that right. Plus, he's so lanky. You gonna get Chris killed, sonn!

I guess this is a decent pandemic movie. A good movie to make-out to... if you don't mind screams of dismemberment in the background. Whatever floats your boat. Like I said, the action and gun play in this movie is right on; if that doesn't get your juices flowing, Chris Hemsworth will:) His prettiness def saves the movie a lil bit. 

Whenever he got into a fight, I felt the need to shout "Not the face!" 

When he was close to fire "Chris, your hair!"

Grade: As good as the action is, something is missing in this movie. David Harbour is in this, and he's great, but not in it enough.

There's a guy that matches Chris's skills, who's really good at action, but he doesn't say all that much.

There's a woman in here who matches Chris's prettiness,

but she's just there to tell Tyler that he's gone too far, and to shoot a rocket (which is bad ass though).

I don't think that this movie is "dumb" enough. It's def not smart, but... it doesn't go enough in any direction, and it takes itself just a lil bit too seriously. It's kinda missing a soul.

I can't say enough about some of these slick action scenes, but at the same time, it felt like I was watching a really good "Call of Duty" game starring Chris Hemsworth. 

I could have just played COD and hung a pic of Chris above my Tv.

I give it an unfortunate C-

There are prob some military fanatics that will enjoy it more than I did. 

"Dude, did you see that blah blah blah 17 with the blah blah... clip... latch?"

"Yeah, bro, that blah blah blah was awesome... blah blah blah."

But, I need a lil bit more, personally.

Though I guess it's still a good make-out movie. Although, I would have had to stop periodically.

*kisses* "Baby, stop a sec. See, that was a perfect opportunity to build some character... to make me care about what's going on. The praphit needs connection."

*kisses* "Wait, wait... Chris has a close-up."

*attempted kisses* "Not when he has a close-up, ok??! We talked about this!"

I had higher hopes, but... still decent.

Ok, so SPOILER ALERT

2 things:

1) There's a villain in here (I didn't mention him, cuz they didn't do much with him). The pretty woman that I mentioned sneaks into the bathroom where the villain is. The villain is finishing up peeing at the urinal, and next to him is the pretty woman, who shoots him in the head.

I wonder though... was she there peeing at the urinal? - like... does she have something going on down there?

2) Tyler Rake dies... or does he?

The kid survives, and is at the bottom of a pool, meditating like his "hero". When he comes up for air, he sees a blurred image that looks a lot like Tyler Rake.

Possibilites:

a) Maybe he gets adopted by someone who looks like Chris Hemsworth (as if)...or who got surgery to look like him.

b) It's one of the other Hemsworths who adopted him.

Kid: "Were you the one who was with Miley Cyrus? Yeah, that's pass for me. I can't have a guardian with such poor judgment."

c) The kid is crazy

d) Ghost Rake! Yes!

e) Tyler is alive! And he was resurrected by witches.

Regardless, I'd be up for a sequel. I'm rooting for "Ghost Rake" and something going on down there with the pretty woman.

[shame-cubed]

i’ve been thinking way too hard about what i wanna do for the fantasy prompt for bederia week. definitely knights, totally wanna draw them as knights. bede’s a fancy ass with a white horse and gloria’s just got a hunting dog and a scrubby ole set of full plate armour. anyway the imagery got my mind spiraling into AU hell instead of sleeping because i’m deranged now apparently

buckle the fuckle up shuckle cuz i’m about to spill the brain juice all over this bitch

- Once upon a time there was a king named Rose and he was beloved by all his subjects for ruling the prosperous land of Galar with world-renowned grace and dignity. his advisor Oleana oversees his court, conducts his every word with a fist of iron and thorns, for Rose only wants the best for his people and certainly knows what he’s doing and couldn’t possibly be wrong ever

- one fateful day the kind King Rose meets a street urchin named Bede while on one of his trips into town to see a jousting competition or some shit, and in some sort of publicity stunt he takes the bread-thieving kid in to live on his vast estate and makes him a squire and trains him for battle, eventually knighting him and everyone praises Rose for his incredible generosity and compassion towards the poor

- no one is more grateful than Bede himself, his loyalty unshakable, although he rarely sees the King. He is just a very busy ruler, using the shreds of his spare time to brood atop some tower in his vast castle away from his subjects. surely it is because he is a Great King with Galar’s future in mind. Some nights Bede wistfully gazes up at the tower as it glows with an odd, beautiful light. He watches the shadow in the window that must be his King and hopes someday Rose will look down from there and shine that light on him, too

- Hop, Marnie, and Gloria were also squires who trained with Bede and became knights but did not live on the estate like he did, they go back to their little towns when they are not on duty. Most of the gym leaders are also Dukes/Duchesses/Lords under Rose who govern their respective patches of land and are high-ranking commander knights as well or whatever. I should probably research this shit. Anyway the highest ranking of them all is Leon. Rose often calls on Leon to do his dirty work, manage his armies etc. 

- Everyone respects Leon very much, except Bede, because while wandering the halls, he overheard Leon and Rose get into a disagreement. Bede thinks it treasonous for Leon to question his King and vows to be better than him and follow Rose’s orders without question. Perhaps Bede was expected to eavesdrop, for he gets his wish, Rose calls for him personally and sends him on a variety of special assignments.

- These special assignments turn out to be rather questionable, but because Bede is such a loyal knight, he enacts his duties no matter what. In the end, it is all for the prosperity of the region and the love of his King. He often runs into the other knights his age while on his missions, and Gloria in particular tells him what he’s doing just ain’t right. He tells her to fuck off and do her job, and she says her duty is to serve the people first and foremost, and Bede’s missions are not doing the people any good. He sneers at her, for his duty is to the King and therefore more important than she could ever imagine.

- Of course this is where shit hits the fan. Leon has assembled a rebel army against Rose because he’s just that charismatic, aiming to expose Rose’s crimes by breaking into his tower where he’s keeping fuck-knows-what. The rebels storm the castle but both Rose and Oleana escape through an underground passageway and his tower is empty because they knew he was coming. It’s Bede who rats Leon out, hearing of his plans through Hop or Marnie or a gym leader idk yet. Gloria and Bede cross swords on the battlefield but can’t bring themselves to kill each other because they share some kind of mutual unspoken respect from their days as squires and don’t know how to deal with it so Bede runs away.

-  Bede tries to escape with Rose and Oleana but turns out the secret passage has been blocked off. He was only ever meant to serve as a tool and a distraction and was promptly left to take the blame and die. He barely gets away from the fighting and drags his bloody body into the nearby woods where he passes the fuck out. Fairies take pity on him and bring him to the old wizard living deep in the heart of the woods. The wizard, who is Opal obviously, heals Bede who tells her his fucked-up tale of betrayal and naivety. While he’s talking, Opal sets out not 2, but 3 teacups and Bede silently wonders if she is insane.

- Cue motherfucking Gloria bustin in on this joint. She’s got a scrap of Bede’s bloody uniform in hand and her hunting dog Zammy has followed the scent, leading her to the wizard’s home. She seems relieved that he isn’t dead and Bede can’t fathom why. He calls her an idiot for caring about him after everything he’s done. Gloria agrees that she is, indeed, an idiot. Soon the idiot is distracted by the fact she is in the presence of the legendary wizard she had been told about in tales as a wee babe. She freaks out a bit, then chugs her tea to calm down.

- Gloria begs Opal to help the rebels, for Rose has gone absolutely mad, he has been dabbling in the dark arts/necromancy in his tower all along and is raising the fucking dead in droves to fight for him. Bede feels sick as he realizes it was probably part of Rose’s plan for him to get killed and become part of his undead army. He reveals that his special missions from Rose were to rob graves, gather strange artifacts, rare flora/fauna, and even some fresh human body parts. This makes Opal hum in wizened consideration. She recognizes these items as ingredients to awaken an ancient and powerful dragon which once brought vast bounties upon the land, a dragon that had been slain long ago by a pair of foolhardy princes with bad hair and would no doubt be quite angered to be disturbed from its eternal rest.

-  Opal agrees to help, for it would be a shame to watch Galar crumble to ruins. She divines Rose’s location and Gloria decides she needs to tell Leon immediately. Opal shows her the secret shortcut out of the woods and Bede tells her where his horse is hitched so she can get to the rebels faster. Gloria thanks them both and leaves her dog with Bede, telling him how to command Zammy if he needs to find her. Bede says she’s wasting time, insists he already knows how to deal with a damn dog, and yells that she better not dirty his horse as she leaves. Opal can’t believe they’re still bickering over stupid shit while the region's at stake and turns to her spellbooks. There’s a way to calm the beast in one of these dusty old tomes, so Bede better get cracking and help her out instead of staring out into the woods worriedly like a dumbass.

- Gloria gets to Leon who’s still at the castle, undead bodies slain all around him, and tells him where Rose is hiding and about his plan to resurrect a powerful dragon. Leon says he had an idea that Rose was gonna do something crazy like that but didn’t think it was actually possible and that they must make haste to stop him. They gather up the rebels and head the fuck out to confront Rose. Hop is there, always at the ready to back up his bro, and he brings his own hunting dog, Zacian. Together with Marnie and the remaining gym leaders who didn’t get fucked up in battle, they lead the charge to Rose’s secret hideout, which is the tomb of the dragon in a deep-ass crater on a mountain.

- Leon’s horse is named Charizard

- The rebels arrive and cut through the undead armies protecting the tomb. Oleana tries to stall them, and fails, but she escapes last minute to tell Rose of their arrival. Rose chides her for not being stronger, but it’s all well, for the dragon has been awakened at last. Finally the steel castles of heights beyond imagination, the vast towns of everlasting glittering lights, all these great wonders of his design which have been appearing in his dreams for many a night will be realized! This is his moment, where he will bring Galar into a shining new era advanced unlike the world has ever seen! He laughs jovially as if he had not just brought about hundreds, maybe thousands, of deaths in his pursuit of this grand future. Sickly red light pours out of his hands and fractures the earth. Debris is flying fucking everywhere as a scaly, skeletal mass of rotten flesh rises from below, bellows and shrieks in horrible pain.

- Leon and friends arrive, there’s a big scuffle with Oleana and some undead gym leaders, Gloria takes a nasty fucking hit when shockwaves from the dragon send her sword and shield flying out of her hands and an undead fuck stabs her in some weak point of her armour, unmistakably hitting some vital organs, she crumples to the ground but tries to get up anyway cuz she’s a hardy bitch. Hop notices and is pissed, calls for Zacian to protect her, and the dog brings her the discarded sword and starts snapping viciously at anyone who approaches.

- Opal, Bede, and Zammy arrive outside of the tomb in a blast of unnecessarily sparkly pink magic. Bede protects Opal as they make their way inside to join the rebels, for the wizard needs to save her strength if she’s about to subdue some ancient undead beast. Spotting Gloria hunched over coughing up blood, Bede loses it and cleans the fuck up, dispatching every undead bitch in sight-- he even manages to wound Oleana, who scrambles away to hide. Once he’s certain Opal will be fine, Bede runs over to Gloria’s side with Zammy in tow and tells her she’s stupid. Zacian growls at first but after seeing Zammy, it backs off to join its sibling alongside Hop as the non-wounded survivors regroup to close in on Rose.

- Gloria had dug her sword into the ground to keep herself upright, but as another blast of energy washes over the battlefield she loses her grip and Bede catches her. She smiles up at him because she didn’t think he cared. He cradles her in his arms, shielding her with his body and admits he couldn’t not care, she’s the only one who stuck by him even when he felt he didn’t deserve it. She confesses she loves him, and the poor guy breaks cuz no-one’s ever said that to him before. He leans down for a kiss, and apparently some of Opal’s healing magic is still in him, because their lip-lock somehow manages to heal Gloria’s injuries. I don’t care if it’s dumb I’m so weak for this shit... 

- While Rose is busy trying to control the increasingly unhinged dragon, Leon fucking stabs him in the back. Rose tries to ramble a bit with his dying breath but everyone’s just like Shut The Fuck Up. All the summoned undead fall apart, save for the giant dragon. Oleana comes out from behind her rock, freaks out, calls Leon a fool, because now there’s no way they can stop the beast from wreaking havoc without Rose’s dark magic. Opal saunters in all like, really now? And starts chanting some weird spell and sprinkling herbs everywhere or something. Magic bullshit. The dragon tries to resist the weird pulses coming from this elderly wizard bitch, and hovers low to the ground to slash at the rebels protecting her.

- Bede and Gloria finish making out and get up to join the fight. Everyone is attacking the dragon to keep it at bay, even the dogs, so Opal can pull off her fancy spell. Eventually a final flash of light appears in a blinding pulse outwards from the legendary wizard, and all the red magic holding together the pile of bones that is the undead dragon crackles and disintegrates. The skeleton crashes to the ground and dust flies everywhere, everyone looks around, all like, is it really over? They smile and celebrate when they realize, yes, the skeleton war is in fact over. 

- Opal is not looking well after using all her power like that, Bede rushes over to help her up and she pats his shoulder, saying he’s got the potential for magic in him. He’s like, what, no way, but Opal just nods all like I saw that fucking healing kiss, you’re a wizard, bitch. She grips him tightly, pours the remainder of her powers into him, and disappears into thin air. RIP.

- Leon becomes king, repairs Galar with the help of his trusted knights, Oleana goes into the dungeon to repent, Bede and Gloria get married (it’s fancy af, the dogs are flower girls) and everyone who isn’t dead lives happily ever after. The end.

WHEW, obviously I don’t have the time to flesh this out any more than what I have here, maybe in a couple months. I got too many irons in the fire rn, I just had to get this shit out of my head or it would haunt me forever. Perhaps I can finally sleep uaaagh

[lovehugsandcandy]

Who Killed Jason Shaw? Chapter 4: Ximena (RoD, Colt x MC)

Summary: Ximena joins Ellie in scoping the crime scene.

Rating: R (discussions of death)

Pairing: Colt x MC, RoD

Length: ~2200 words

Ellie walked downstairs to the smell of coffee and sound of grease splattering on the range. No nightmares, again; maybe she was turning the corner. She was so sick of Shaw haunting her dreams, taunting her, threatening the people she loved. Maybe his death had freed her too.

She didn’t even need to say hello before her dad turned at her footsteps, plate in his hand. “Time for breakfast with your old man?”

“Always.” She followed him into the dining room to dig into the Ellie Special. “So...how’s work going?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Fine. Busy.”

“Busy with anything in particular?”

“Are you fishing for information?” His eyes narrowed.

She hung her head, contrite. “I wanted to know about Shaw, of course.”

“No news. ME thinks they can have a cause-of-death before the weekend, probably Friday.” Her stomach dropped. Three days. Three days to investigate. “If one of those punks did this, they’re going down.”

“Dad, they didn’t do anything!”

“Really.” Her dad dropped his fork onto the table. “You expect me to believe that a crew of known criminals, thirsty for revenge, didn’t take the opportunity to take him out?”

“They didn’t do it, Dad.” She leaned forward to glare at him; he peered back. She met his eyes head on, not daring to blink.

“Ellie....Have you- You’ve been investigating them, haven’t you.” It wasn’t even a question, a pointed statement that he spit in her direction.

“I have.”

“I told you to stay away from them! What are you think-”

She pushed her plate away, appetite vanishing. “And do you know what I’m finding? A bunch of teenagers who were targeted by a corrupt LAPD, half of them in hid-.”

“The Kaneko kid’s twenty, not a teena-.”

“I know damn well how old Colt is!” She pushed her chair back, the screech of tile loud in the room, and stood, eyes narrowed venomously at her dad.

He stared right back. “Is that where you’ve been going when you’re not here?” She froze. “When you leave when I head out on shift? When you say you’re sleeping over Riya’s?”

Ellie swallowed.

“Dammit, Ellie, he’s a criminal.”

She blinked back the tears behind her eyes. “He didn’t do this.”

“Then who did?”

“Isn’t it your job to actually find out? And not rush to judgement?” She left the rest of her breakfast uneaten as she fled, feet slamming on the stairs, back up to her room.

~~~~~

After her dad had left and she had finished her brooding, she headed out, driving down roads she had only been down a few times before, stopping on a deserted side street. She made sure to lock it and walked the few blocks, passing liquor stores and check cashing services before seeing the dim tattoo parlor, sandwiched in between a wig shop and an abandoned storefront, iron bars rusting in the windows.

Unlike the surroundings, the parlor looked neat and clean as she ducked in, bell cheerfully ringing above her head. “Hello!”

“Hi, sweetie.” A familiar voice called from the back and, after a few seconds, its owner emerged with a wide smile from down the hallway. Ximena was a sight for sore eyes, a towering gentle giant clad in a black tank; it was almost like no time had passed at all and Ellie was still a naive high schooler getting in over her head.

“X.” She couldn’t stop the smile from spreading ear-to-ear as she was bundled into a signature hug. “How are you?”

“I’m great. You? How’s school?”

Ellie could feel the tension in her shoulders lessen. “Good. I’m good.”

“Are those....” Ximena took her palm, carefully rotating her hand in careful fingers. “Are those tatoos?”

“Oh my God, no.” Ellie laughed, pulling her hand back and stuffing it in her pocket. “Temporary. Riya wanted to experiment; I think she’s jealous of the feather you did on me.”

“Ok. Because this is my full-time gig until Colt has the shop is up and running; you know you need to get all your tats from me!”

“I would never cheat on you, I swear.”

“Good.” Ximena’s face dropped in concern. “You know, I talked to Toby. He told me your dad thinks one of us killed Shaw.”

“Yeah.” And, the tension was back, fear creeping into her spine. She wasn’t a naive high schooler after all; a year later, she was in too deep. Again. “X, I’m scared.”

Ximena turned to her, eyes questioning in the bright light of the shop. “Of what?”

“What if-” Ellie let her breath out slowly between clenched teeth. “What if one of the crew goes down for this?”

“Oh Ellie...” She swept Ellie into her arms again, hands running comforting circles down her shoulder blades. “Do you really think one of us did it?”

“No. No no no but...”

“But it’s not the first time the cops lied to you?”

Ellie’s face fell. “Yeah.” She looked out the window, neon lights casting an eerie tinge on the pavement. “Exactly.”

“Do you trust your dad?”

“I trust that he will investigate to the best of his ability.”

“Then I think you need to trust that it will all work out.”

Ellie sighed. “Easier said than done.”

“Have you seen everyone else?”

“Not yet. I saw Colt and Toby already. I’m going to see Mona tomorrow cuz I need to return her car and Logan after that.”

“You borrowed Mona’s car?”

“Yeah, my dad’s crappy-”

The ringing of the phone interrupted the her sentence and Ellie mouthed an apology, grabbing her phone. “Hey, Toby.” 

“Ellie! I am amazing! I am the Aragon of the internet! The Khaleesi of dragoning! The Bruce Wayne of-”

“Huh?” At Ximena’s confusion, she put it on speaker. “Toby, I don’t know what you’re talking about. And X is here.”

“Hi, X! Listen listen listen both of you...I was able to get into Jason’s bank info!!!” 

Damn. Toby could get a spot on the force if he kept this up. “What did you find?”

“Listen, the night he died-” She could hear Colt in the background, voice raised. “The night he died, he was at the Tattle Tale. 

“What? What? time?” 

“Late. Looks like a little after midnight.”

“Police report said the crash was right after that, before 1.”

“Maybe he was drunk? Maybe-” There was a scuffle, a few curses; Ellie grimaced.

When she put the receiver back to her head, it was a new voice on the line. “Hey, El.” 

“Hi, Colt.”

“Listen, you know how expensive drinks are there. There’s no way he was drunk off one beer.”

“Ok...”

“I think he was meeting someone.” 

“Are you playing detective again?” She rolled her eyes. “I wanted you to stay out of it.” 

Colt continued. “But if we could find out who he was meeting, then we have a lead.”

“We?” She furrowed her brow. “But you’re not-”

“Ellie, this could be your break! Don’t you want to see what we can dig up at the bar?”

“Urgh. Ok, Detective Kaneko. I’ll let you know if I need backup, partner.” She hung up the phone with a sigh and hung her head; she couldn’t help but feel like she was involving the people she loved further and further into this debacle.

The excited voice in front of her added to the feeling. “We should go check it out!”

“What?”  Ellie’s face fell as she turned to Ximena.

“Let’s go to The Tattle Tale! I can take lunch now and we can head over and look for clues!”

“X, this isn’t a game!” Her voice was harsh, unexpectedly so judging by the way Ximena recoiled. “I feel like everyone isn’t taking this seriously! Someone could go to jail!”

X put her hands up placatingly, then moved closer to rub Elle’s arm. “I know, sweetie, I know. But if no one in the crew did it, then we should try to prove their innocence as best we can.”

Ellie blinked and nodded, slowly. “Ok. Let’s go.”

~~~~~

It was deserted when they pulled into the parking lot of The Tattle Tale and Ellie clambered out of Ximena’s electric car.

“No lights in the parking lot.”

“What?” Ellie looked over at her before glancing around. There were no light poles here though, at midday, it didn’t much matter; the sun shone so blindingly overhead, Ellie needed to shield her eyes to see.

“Well, Toby said he was here at midnight, right? It would have been dark in this parking lot.”

Ellie stared at her, eyes wide.

“Oh come on.” X groaned at her. “It’s not the first time I’ve cased a joint.” She took a few steps away from the car, turning in slow circles to see. “It’s only open for dinner apparently, but he would have come out here to get in his car and then....” She trailed off, looking at the road. “Where did he crash?”

“The 405. North of here.”

“On ramp’s right there.” Ximena pointed, curve of the pavement rising above the ground only blocks away. “So he drove over there, got on the highway, and crashed?”

“I guess?”

Ximena surveyed the ground around them. “When was the crash?”

“Early Monday morning? 1am?”

“Probably nothing left here then. Let’s walk over to the highway.”

“X, we don’t need to do that.” Ellie edged back to the car. “We really don’t need to...”

But Ximena was already heading out of the parking lot, calling out over her shoulder, “What could it hurt?”

Ellie threw her hands in the air before following, breaking into a run to catch up to the long stride. “What in the world are we doing?”

“Humor me.”

“Is everyone trying to be a detective?”

Ximena smirked. “I will if it will keep us out of jail.”

“X...” Ellie took a deep breath. “I have to ask...”

“I didn’t kill Shaw.”

“Do you have an alibi?”

“Sunday night? I was working late at the shop, a complex sleeve on a regular client. It was the third session; he’d vouch for me.”

Ellie’s shoulders dropped in relief as they neared the overpass. One less person for her dad to target.

“Look over here!”

“What?” She followed X as she walked over to the concrete barrier, pale concrete supports of the overpass towering over them. “What is it?”

“Look at this junk!” X stared down. “it’s like everyone who drives by just throws their litter here. Don’t they care about the environment?”

Ellie looked down, skeptically; it was a mountain of trash, an ocean of paper and plastic bags, cascading in waves behind the concrete. “Yeah. Apparently everyone who drives by eats Big Macs.”

“Oh my God!” Ximena grabbed her arm.

“What?”

“Sorry, I...” X threw her hand to her mouth to cover the giggles. “I saw that black hair and thought it was a dead body. But it’s a wig.”

Ellie blinked. 

“There’s lots of random stuff over here. Lots of trash, ew, needles. Clothes....oh my God, why would there be clothes here?”  Ximena wrinked her nose. “Oh, look, an old stop sign! I can add this to the decor at the shop!” She leaned over, peering intently at the mess.

“How do we know what is pertinent? I feel like this is just junk.”

“I have no idea.”

Ellie raked her eyes over the side of the road before looking up at the overpass, traffic booming overhead, road above her vibrating with the weight of the tractor trailers whizzing by. “You know what is actually pertinent?” X raised an eyebrow. “The LAPD didn’t come by to pick up any of this stuff. It’s not evidence.”

“True...”

“It’s just trash, isn’t it?”

Ximena laughed. “One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.”

“You’re taking that stop sign, aren’t you?”

“...yes.”

Ellie couldn’t help but join her laughter. “You do you, X. You do you.”

~~~~~~

By the time they made their way back to Inglewood and Ellie said her goodbyes, a huge hug and promise to visit during summer vacation, it was late afternoon. She sat in her dad’s car for a while, windows open, thinking, watching the sights and sounds of the city from her driver’s seat when the phone rang.

“Hey...” She couldn’t hide the fondness from her voice.

“Hey, troublemaker.”

“How are you?”

“A little disappointed that you have been visiting everyone but me, but I’m good.”

She laughed. “Who have you been talking to?”

“Toby.” His cough was strained over the phone line. “He filled me in. Ellie, you have to know that I didn’t-”

“Stop.” She looked out the window, past the storefronts, barely seeing them. “We shouldn’t talk about this here.”

“Ok but Ellie...you know I have all the motive in the world. But it wasn’t me!”

“I know, Logan. I know.” She brought her hand to her face to gnaw on a fingernail. “I’ll come see you, we can talk in person.”

“Ok...” He sounded dejected. “Stop by the shop on Friday.”

“Will do.”

Once she hung up and was alone with her thoughts, her mind wandered, away from her investigation, away from the detective work, to the past, thinking about all that she had gone through with the crew, all Jason had taken from them, all they had taken back. When she shut her eyes, she could almost see flames licking the sky and had to blink before they consumed her too.

[sherubshereyes]

Hey, whut up

Dear Jon:

Instead of messaging you at 3:37 am while you sleep I will write here. Write whatever I want because hopefully I will have self control and not send it anyway.

‘Lullaby’ and ‘Don’t You Worry About Me’ by Lukas Graham just came on and now I want to get serious. And I probably will send you this... when you wake the heck up. Lol.

You said something about how it’s weird to find god after a psychotic break... and I understand that fully but I’ll explain why it happens to me EVERY time I am hospitalized.

When you are in a place like -insert 3 mental health hospitals here- you feel punished. You feel ALONE... and if you let yourself believe god exists, well then you are not alone after all.

After -FV hospital- in 2011 I was 22 and I went to see Ben Rector live at the intersection in the front lounge. I didn’t even know he was a Christian artist until I got out of -FV- this time around. Like on 2/10/2020 I mean. The back is bigger at the intersection so it was maybe $10 for front shows and bob marley’s kid was performing in the back. Idk which one lol. I went out to smoke cigs periodically and I BET stoners were smoking joints and I didn’t know it. I tried weed my first time a week later while drunk on my friends 21st birthday. I smoked with her step brother (he was her roommate) and she was passed out drunk (duh) so she didn’t partake. I found myself on the deck dizzy and alone after... puking.

“Your heart won’t break I won’t let it” random lyric from the song on shuffle by Lukas Graham. Sorry I’m ADHD

“I know you know I’m not perfect and I hope you know I’m worth it” this song is good... back to my story...

This house was in a trailer park and I lived with my parents 4 miles away. I drove my drunk/high ass home and I’m not sure how I didn’t fucking die. Lol. See. God probably made sure I made it home safe. I still remember it vividly. Like, I can feel how dizzy and unsafe I was driving but I made it.

In 2017 I was hospitalized for 3 weeks, court ordered by my family, after I had met a man named "Levi” at a wedding and wanted to leave "Bob” for him. He was closer to my age, hella hot, smoked cigs and called them fags because he was from Europe. He had the same mustache tattoo as me and it was on the same finger. We snap chatted inappropriately and I don’t fucking regret it either but he bailed on me and would never speak to me again after I got out of the hospital. “Bob” and I were separated after that stay and I threw a remote at his face and he called the cops on me to report domestic assault. It was really hard and I wondered if I would go to jail. I didn’t. Don’t you think maybe god said “not today satan?” Hahaha cuz I do.

I was going to church then. -Insert church name here-. It’s non denominational and it felt right. I felt lonely and afraid so I caved and took “Bob” back even though I didn’t want to. I started crawling into his bed instead of my own. He was sleeping in the spare room and I realized I couldn’t be alone. I WANTED to be... but I couldn’t support myself and I had no other options.

“Bob” went to church with me then too a little. He has strong doubts about faith but I’ve never heard him say he is an atheist... unlike you lol.

This time around you were very present in my life for the postpartum mania and I HOPE I have not scared you. I’m pretty sure I’m just scaring myself now more than anything. I got A LOT of male attention in -FV hospital-, as I do at every hospital because I’m hella fun manic and draw people in. I’m smart, I practice self care (unlike when I’m depressed) and it shows when I let myself love myself again.

I tried to cling to “Bob” in there this time. I transferred units to avoid the men cuz 500E only ever had 3 men at all times. Coincidence I think, maybe god again?? Haha! I don’t know. I just realized that too. “Liam” told me not to put “Bob” on my phone plan when I talked about it and I defended my future actions saying “but I’m married” like it fucking mattered.

Insert break to let "the girl dogs” out and play more tunes. It’s 4:03 now and this is how ADHD I really am lol

“Take the world by storm” is on now and I feel like I’m gonna do it. In my own time.

“I want to tear down boundaries and greet my enemies” such a good song too.

It’s 4:07 and as I smoke while “Tony” barks like a bitch I realize this will have to be emailed cuz it’s gonna be a fucking novel. I hope you like it, hahaha.

“What happened to perfect” is on now and it’s like a break up song. More Lukas Graham on shuffle. See why I think god speaks to me thru music? “Tony” woke “Bob” up which is why I let her and “Casey” out. I have to make a bottle cuz “Liam” is over due but still sleeping.

4:12 am and now “Everything that isn’t me” is on and I sent this to “Bob’s” mom on Thursday. He has no idea I’m talking to her still. He’d be mad. I don’t know why he hates her so much. I kind of love her a lot.

4:20 am (lol I screen capped proof) and I’m making coffee in my Jason Momoa mug. I made “Bob” listen to that song while he changed “Liam’s” diaper.

I tried to warm up a bottle but “Liam” got impatient so it’s not so warm. I made pizza and “Bob” took the bottle and “Liam” back in the bedroom. I am banished to the living room and couch tonight, of course.

I ate peanut butter on a spoon for protein and calories before the pizza and then used the end of the spoon to open my creamer for my coffee. Fierce. I love it, I really do. My coffee is perfectly pale and I don’t care what “Liam” says about too much creamer. It’s the best. It’s 4:26 now. This coffee tastes amazing and my pizza is gone so I want to smoke again... so I probably will.

I’m going to put Ben Rector on shuffle now and see how this goes. He performs May 1st at fountain street church and I really wish I could go. I heard that ON THE RADIO in -FV hospital-. I’m not even joking. Hi, god, what up tho?

I’m cheating and playing “i like you” cuz why not. I’ll see what shuffles after. I’m going to Walgreens around 8 am to get more coffee ($2.99 for 12 k cups) I’m getting you some. I’m also searching for something on clearance in Valentine’s Day section. I’ll go to every store in town if I have to just to find it.

“Forever like that” is on now and I can’t make this shit up. If you didn’t listen to it, it’s the other love song. Probably cuz I love you so much but I’ll be ok as just your friend, honestly, I will. It’s 4:34 am now.

When my mom and I fought Wednesday I told her how “Bob” ruined my life. I don’t want to tell you. He didn’t mean to. I want you to stay his friend so bad. He needs you more than me. I’m still working on my cig and sipping coffee. It feels glorious. Insert the old character of Bobby Roode and now I wish I had a robe like him... or in general... but I lose every robe I ever own.

“I want to spend my forever like that” last lyric of the song... what will be next??

It’s called “beautiful” and I don’t know it but I I feel beautiful and sexy as hell and I like it a lot.

I’m going back inside and it’s singing “I was 16 with a broken heart with the windows down in a beat up car” damn. I was like that too. Best year of my life and why it’s my favorite number. “Liam” was born 1/16/2020 so yeah. Magic? God? Whatever. I’m gonna go in and re read and spell check this mess while watching Across the Universe. This “May be where I leave you” as I say that I think of the centaur dropping off Harry Potter after Voldemort drank unicorn blood in front of him in the forbidden forest or some shit.

4:45 am and the song on Across the Universe is “I get by with a little help from my friends” accurate. Lyric - “I get high with a little help from my friends” also true. Insert panda cuddles. One day I can get high with you again. One day. I’m definitely done now.

4:53 am and I’m gonna ask you for your email now and hope I’m not driving you crazy but if I don’t ask it now I might be too scared later.

Love you,

Me

P.S. Second cup of coffee at 5:10 and “I’ve just seen a face” by Jim Sturgis (Beatles cover) is on Across the Universe. Look it up and please don’t freaking hate me ok. “She’s got a boyfriend” “It’s ok, I’ve got a girlfriend” I love this movie beyond measure

[parabellum-rpg-archive]

Congratulations, Joss! You’ve been accepted to play Aaron Murphy (previously Aaron Khan, last name changed to fit the new FC’s ethnicity). Your request to change his FC to Bob Morley has also been approved. Please make your page and send it in within 24 hours.

Admin note: Joss, you’re absolutely flawless. You make it very easy to fall in love with your writing, and you’ve given Aaron so much depth! I can’t wait to see him on the dash! - Admin V

IC INFORMATION —

CHARACTER DESIRED Aaron Khan DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER IN YOUR OWN WORDS If you told Aaron to turn out his pockets and show what he’s accomplished in life, you might see it as just empty hands, but to him, being a dealer is the only thing he’s ever been really good at. He’s got learning disabilities, dyslexia and ADHD, that prevented him from ever really settling into a normal life or doing well in school, but when it comes to weed, he’s a fucking prodigy. He can tell the weight of a bag just by looking at it or holding it, he can tell from the smell if product is good or not, and he knows how to spot an undercover cop at 100 yards. His greatest skill is in being able to read his customers. He can tell from the moment you approach him what strain you’re going to need, how much, and what you’re willing to pay. He’s friendly, never tries to force you to be his friend, and always stands by his product. If weed were legal, he might be paying taxes and living the good life at a cannabis dispensary. As it is, he’s the guy on everyone’s cell phone under “Aaron Green”. People usually assume when you say your home life was bad that someone was smacking you around or there was no food, maybe your parents were junkies or crackheads. But it doesn’t have to be that dramatic to be bad. Sometimes your family can just forget you exist. Aaron was one of eight kids and none of them ever really had a chance. He disappeared in among his siblings so that no one ever noticed when he never came home at night. His home was loud, but there was never any real love in it. His parents were immigrants who’d come to America as children and never gotten out of the ghetto neighbourhoods of Detroit. They never had enough money and worked all the time, and when they came home, they would just stare blankly at their children, as if to say, “are you still here?” Aaron doesn’t think they were ever even in love; certainly the photographs never show people who looked happy to be together. Sometimes he lets himself wonder if they were like him, with dreams that they could never achieve and a burning need to do something, and if they just got beaten down by life, but it’s not like he can ask anymore. Chicago was the farthest Aaron could get from Detroit on the money he’d saved up, and it seemed like a town that still had hope, while Detroit was just dying slowly around him. He had a cousin there whose couch he crashed on (Aaron has cousins everywhere, they come out of the woodwork whenever one of them needs somewhere to crash), and a few job possibilities lined up, but he’d get itchy if he got stuck working behind a counter or washing dishes or shifting mail around, needing more stimulation than entry-level jobs provided. If he’d had the money to do training in a trade or something, maybe he could’ve done something with his hands that kept him occupied, or trained to be a tech expert, since he loves video games and can play them for hours if need be. Instead, he asked his dealer if the guy could hook him up with a gig, and one thing led to another. Working for the Costellos is mildly terrifying at times, but it feeds that part of him that needs to move and stay active. He doesn’t deal anything too hard, just weed and some party drugs, and he’s a favourite of club kids and college students for the quality of his product and his innovations when it comes to packaging and branding. He’ll wake up in the middle of the night with a brilliant idea about a new line of edibles like peppermint chocolates for the on-the-go buyer who doesn’t want to overindulge, or flavoured strains of CBD oil laced with hash to give a smooth high without any paranoia, or making their own line of e-liquids for vapes (something he’s very into, do not get him started on the unfair legislation around vaping rights), and spend the next three days making it happen only to crash once his latest masterpiece is complete. He could probably survive without a roommate at this point (though he’d have to live somewhere shady to do so and he’s become a little too comfortable to move back to the hood), but he used the excuse of needing one to let Corinna into his life. She’s the first person he’s lived with that he doesn’t feel anything but uncomplicated affection for, and the idea of having friends that you’re not either also selling to or working for is new and interesting for him. He’s a genuinely nice person (more so when baked but also overall), and he’s always happy to share his groceries or just sit up with her and listen to her talk. He may even someday tell her about his family, though that remains a subject he doesn’t address.   WRITING SAMPLE “Hey, man-bun!” Aaron turned around by reflex, even though someone yelling anything at you out of the blue was, at best, 50/50 gonna be a shitty situation. “That’s what your mom called me last night. At least I think that’s what she was saying, there was a lotta moaning going o-” Aaron didn’t get to finish his sentence, the punch catching him straight in the jaw. He looked like he could handle himself in a fight, but his muscles were all for show. Staggering back, he checked to see if all his teeth were still there. That was one thing that hadn’t gone wrong yet. “You sold me bad shit, motherfucker! Gimme my money back, or I’m gonna end you!” If this had been back in Detroit, Aaron might have taken this conversation more seriously, especially because he’d just gotten punched in the face, but this was Chicago, and he worked for the Costellos. Some little trust fund baby wasn’t gonna roll up on him and try and get a fucking refund. “That’s a shame. You still got the stuff? I’ll trade it in for new shit.” They were outside a bar in Costello territory, and the guy squaring up at him looked like he rowed every day and ate ivy for a living. Sure, he was dressed like he was living that thug life, but c'mon, no one’s teeth were that straight in Chiraq. That was the problem with cities like this, everyone thought they could front. Nobody in the suburbs would’ve even bothered, they’d have probably said please and thank you, but out here, people watched too many movies and thought you had to act like an OG. His friend, cuz of course he had a friend, punks like this never tried anything when it was a fair fight, just stood slightly off to the side and switched between grinning and sneering. “Are you fucking stupid? Did you hear me? Gimme my fucking money now! You’re lucky I don’t call my boys down and fuck your shit up for giving me lousy stuff!” It had gotten to the point where Aaron wasn’t really a street dealer primarily anymore, he was the guy you called when you needed something. He did deliveries and hung out at parties and clubs. When you were selling a product people wanted, you didn’t have to pound the pavement to sell it. But he was doing another favour for Holden. Aaron always did favours for Holden, no matter how many times the other man asked. He couldn’t help it. And normally he could spot an asshole a mile off and choose to refuse service, but Holden needed his quota to stay up, so Aaron had been a little too liberal with his sales tonight. Figures he’d get punched on his night off. “Like I said, I can do a trade if you’re unhappy with the product, but this isn’t a Target, man. We don’t do refunds. So hand over the shit, and I’ll give you some primo Afghani Kush. I’ll even top up the bag free of charge, cuz I wanna preserve our relationship.” The kid wasn’t having any of it. “I already smoked it and it did jackshit! I’m not even high! We even mixed it with some coke and it did fucking nothing!” Oh boy. So on top of assholes, they were idiots too. “You can’t mix it with coke, man. That just ruins both highs. If you’d said you’d wanted something to blend with uppers, I coulda-” Aaron was prevented in continuing with his sales pitch when the kid pulled out a gun. The fucking sikik seemed to think he could draw down in public. Granted, it was a shit neighbourhood, but it was still a Neighbourhood. “C'mon guy, this is a bad move. You really wanna think this one through, you know?” This whole evening was really turning into a bummer. If he got shot by this at hırsızı, he’d never live it down. And he didn’t have health insurance. The kid’s gun didn’t waver, and his friend had pulled a piece too. Awesome. “You coulda just given me the money, now I’m gonna take everything, and I’m gonna kick your ass too, you piece of shit fag-” The conversation ended abruptly with a squealing of tires and bright lights. Aaron jumped out of the way, rolling across the sidewalk and dragging himself up when there wasn’t immediate gunfire. The kid and his friend were now lying in the road groaning in front of a red Ford pickup. The door opened and Holden got out, looking at Aaron with bewilderment. “What the hell happened?” Stumbling forward, Aaron had the sense to kick the guns away from the two kids as he limped over to the truck’s passenger side. “Just a difference of opinion, don’t worry about it. But I’m thinking we talk about moving you to somewhere a little more high-class. This neighbourhood is going to shit.” As Holden slammed into the car and peeled away, the neighbourhood returned to normal, like it had never happened. It was Chicago, weirder things happened every day. Aaron leaned his head against the glass and dug a joint out of his pocket, inserting it between his lips and expertly lighting it with his lucky Zippo. “Don’t smoke that in the car, you’ll make it reek in here.” Laughing, Aaron rolled down the window. “You’re the weirdest dealer I know, man. C'mon, night’s still young, let’s hit Lake Forest and make some money off the preps out there.” Holden, shaking his head, took the turnoff and headed for the suburb. “You ever take anything seriously, cabron?” Aaron winked. “Not unless I can’t avoid it, kaşar.”

[samtheflamingomain]

homelessness myths debunked

For a long time, I’ve wondered how I’d use my time being homeless for good. It certainly changed me as a person (for the better), but I’ve always wanted it to mean more.

So today, I saw a post on Reddit by someone who had very clearly never been homeless about what to do if you “find yourself homeless”. That’s absolutely not how it works, but we don’t have time to unpack all of the privilege at work there.

Probably the #1 thing I’ve seen regarding “tips on being homeless” is “Get a 24hr gym membership! It’s $10 a month and you get a whole locker, public shower and maybe free wifi!”

Fuck. Right. Off.

When I was homeless, I didn’t need a locker. Y’know why? CUZ I DIDN’T HAVE ANY SHIT. I had 2 pairs of pants, a shirt, a sweater and about $400 to my name. I didn’t spend money on anything that wasn’t food.

Y’know why? Cuz that’s the actual worst part of homelessness - having no fucking food, nowhere to cook, nowhere to eat, nowhere to drink. That’s the first goal of survival, YES, EVEN BEYOND SHELTER. FOOD.

It makes logical sense to prioritize shelter over food. But when you haven’t eaten in 4 days, logic is pretty hard to hold onto. So if I had $10 to spare when I was on the street? That’s a day’s worth of calories from good ole McDonald’s. 

And to prove how fucking important food is, it’s my second point as well as my first.

Because having food is one thing. Having food you can actually keep down is quite another.

I was once called a “poser” by another homeless person because I saved up my change for 2 days and then bought myself a salad at a vegan hipster joint downtown instead of 5, $2 McBurgers. Well, JESSE, y’know why I needed a goddamn salad? Cuz I’ve been having explosive diarrhea and vomiting from eating nothing but absolute garbage for 3 weeks. 

So, if you have $10, buy yourself a salad. Not a gym membership. 

I’m going to put a caveat here before anyone jumps down my throat: I was only homeless for 6 weeks. I was only “on the streets” for 11 days. So I’m speaking from my experience as someone who was VERY TEMPORARILY homeless. There are millions out there and everyone has a different experience with homelessness, and I’m sure someone out there really would benefit from a gym membership. But probably not a lot.

A place to shower is great - but food, and especially decent food, is much more important.

When I got to a shelter, I realized there were “different kinds” of homeless people. I stayed at a youth shelter, so maybe this is exclusive to 18-24yo homeless but here it is nonetheless:

A lot of the kids at the shelter were drug users. A lot MORE were NOT. There was a very distinct line drawn between those two groups. We didn’t really cross over or talk outside of our group of “users” or “non-users”. It was actually quite weird.

Other types of homeless people, as defined by other homeless people, include but are not limited to the following descriptions: “crazies” (basically anyone with a mental illness that made it literally impossible to speak to them and get them help; the first time I heard this was at the library, where I spent a LOT of time as a homeless person, and there was a guy out front just... dancing. Couldn’t even get his attention. Just dancing.), there’s the jailbirds, who are homeless because they just came from prison, the “old homeless” - literally just an old homeless person. 

But most disturbing (to me) was when I was in the shelter and had reported that another shelter kid had stolen my phone and presented them with iCloud proof (he used my phone on his account, it showed up under ‘find my iPhone’) and he was thrown out of the shelter. His girlfriend was there, SCREAMING at the top of her lungs that he’d promised his life to her that he didn’t steal this brand-new iPhone 7 he just happened to pick up one day. 

She ended up being thrown out, too, and another shelter kid said to me, “Boy, she’s a lifer.”

A ‘lifer’ is someone who will be homeless forever.

It’s basically the ultimate diss that homeless people (at least in my part of Ontario) dish out to other homeless people. 

Because, and this is another point that I want to emphasize...

Almost everyone who has been homeless, is homeless, or will be homeless... wasn’t always, and won’t always be homeless. But it WILL stay with them forever. Not a goddamn day passes in my life where my short stint on the streets makes itself known in my mind.

Of all the shitty things I saw and experienced when I was at the shelter, I saw one thing almost every day that absolutely gave me hope for humanity when I needed it the very most.

User, non-user, crazy, jailbird, old... every time a homeless person announced they’d found a home, every single person at the shelter threw a goddamn fit of pure joy. 

Been there a few days? A week? Six months? Never spoken a word to anyone before now? Doesn’t matter. You found a place? You’re the goddamn king of this shelter for the next 24 hours. We’re on hero-worship lockdown, motherfuckers.

Because at the end of the day, that’s the only “tip for being homeless”. Get a place. That’s the only way out. A shelter is good - obviously better than the streets - but honestly, it’s not A LOT better. The difference between the street and a shelter is like McDonald’s v. Denny’s. A bit nicer. The difference between a shelter and a place? Denny’s and the fanciest restaurant you can name.

I don’t claim that all homeless people are amazing, or hell, even worth giving change to. I’ve seen people I shared a bunk with go out and lie about his girlfriend being pregnant, oh my mom’s sick, I just need $3 for the bus. I’ve seen homeless people lie and try to extort money from passers-by via guilt. 

I never had to resort to begging, but I was lucky in that sense. Of all the homeless people spinning tales, very few are really doing it for “drug money”. A lot more are doing it because they literally have no other way of eating.

This is long enough and I think I’ve done what I set out to accomplish. Just a bit of an insider’s look at homelessness, which I’ve never really shared before.

Stay greater.

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Soos and His Girl

For @legendary-defender-of-fandoms. I hope you like it!

~~~~~~~~~~

Soos looked down at his can of Pitt soda kinda gloomy like. He should be really happy right now, and generally he was, but he was also… he couldn’t pinpoint it.

Abuelita was happy in the armchair in front of the TV. She liked the “dusty, dirty” shack that needed a “lady’s touch”, so during the day she kept busy vacuuming everything and tidying up the house, and at night she enjoyed the additional channels Mr. Pines was willing to pay for so he wasn’t stuck with Gravity Falls public-access TV. She was enjoying her afternoon cup of coffee in front of the TV right now, in fact, and Soos should probably go join her, but he was trying to finish an idea for tomorrow’s tours in the gift shop, but his inspiration was gone and the rainy day didn’t help his mood improve.

Soos drained the rest of his can of soda in one gulp and adjusted his tie. He smiled down at his suit-covered body and could feel himself straighten up with pride. Still, he was… lonely. Yeah, that was it. Mr. Pines and Dr. Pines left two days ago, and from what Soos could tell they were both super happy, and Dipper and Mabel were back home in California now. Wendy still hung around some, but school had just started back and classes were kinda busy right now, so it would be a few weeks until things cooled down and even then she wouldn’t be working as much as she did over the summer (which, let’s be honest, it’s not like she worked much to begin with).

While Soos was beyond happy to be running the Mystery Shack, to have his lifelong dream come true, the old cabin was now way too quiet and way too empty. Maybe once tourists came back and the money started to roll in and business kept him busy, he’d be okay. Still, as of today, Soos was just a little sad and lonely, and that was okay.

The gift shop was open, so Soos shouldn’t have been surprised when the door opened with a chime. He looked up and was way more surprised to find a pretty girl with light-brown hair tied back with a scrunchie and a purple rain-jacket standing in his shop. “Hi, Soos!”

“Melody!” Soos gasped and ran to her to hug her. She hugged him back around his neck and he could feel all his sadness just melt away like cheese on a greasy pizza. He let her go to stare at her and make sure she was really here. “What are you doing here?! How are you here?! Someone pinch me, dude, cuz I gotta be dreaming!”

Melody laughed and shook her head. “Nope! I told you I was only in Portland for a few weeks. A few weeks is over.”

“So you’re staying?!” Soos dared to hope.

Melody nodded. “Yup! I’m staying!”

“This is great!” Soos punched the air and gestured for the “employees only” door. “C’mon in, dude. Meet my grandma and have a soda.”

“Sure, I’d love to.” Melody said as she shed her rain-jacket and followed Soos through the house.

“Abuelita, I got someone I’d like you to meet.” Soos called as they went to the living room. “This is Melody.”

“Si, si, you are even more beautiful up close.” The old lady complimented.

“Uh, thanks.” Melody said and shook her hand.

“Sit, niña, and tell me about yourself.”

Soos pulled out a chair for Melody from the card table and sat on the dino-skull end table to listen to Melody talk about herself and what she was doing in Portland.

~~~~~~~~~~

“So… uh, hey.” Soos said as he sat on a park bench next to Melody a few days after she came back to Gravity Falls. “You know I really like Wendy and I’m never gonna fire here, but… but she’s really busy with school and friends and… I thought it’d be a good idea to hire another cashier.”

“I think that’s a great idea.” Melody supported, thinking he just needed a little encouragement that he was making a good business decision.

“Yeah, but… but I don’t just want anyone, you know?” Soos was starting to sweat a little more than normal. “Someone I can trust and think is pretty cool. Someone really pretty and smart and caring and… I dunno, you wouldn’t be interested, would you?”

Melody stared at the cute guy with an anime t-shirt in front of him and a ball cap, blushing adorably with his little awkwardly-growing whiskers. “What? You mean, work at the Mystery Shack? With you?”

“‘Course, I thought you wouldn’t want to, I get it if it’d be awkward for you, and I know you like extreme lunch meats, so…”

“Are you kidding, I’d love to work at the Mystery Shack with you!” Melody said and took his hand with excitement, her eyes twinkling beautifully and her cheeks round and rosy with joy. “It’d be so much fun and I love the Shack! I’d get to where those cute t-shirts and help kids find stuff they like and give out good deals…”

“Not too good deals, though.” Soos said with a smile and pointed out, “Remember, we put the fun in no refunds.”

“I know, but what if we raise the prices a bit.” Melody offered. “We could do it steadily and carefully so no one would notice, but eventually the price would be so high that we could put crazy good deals on them and still make a profit, making the customers think they’re getting a steal.”

Soos stared at her like she was an awesome warrior princess. “You are the smartest girl I know.”

Melody just smiled with pride and happily shook Soos’s extended hand to accept the new job.

~~~~~~~~~~

“DIPPER! Hurry up!”

“Coming!” Dipper ran into their room, plopped down on his beanbag, and Mabel clicked on Soos’ icon on the laptop to start the video-call. It only rang once or twice before the pair of twins were faced with their favorite handyman-turned-business-owner and his newest employee. “SOOS!”

“What’s up, hambones?!” Soos called and waved. 

“Hey, guys, how’s it going?” Melody asked as she wiggled her fingers.

“Great!” Mabel said. “Guess who made it into the Hall of Fame at the art show?”

“That’s amazing, Mabel!” Soos cheered. “We’re both super proud of you.”

“Totally!” Melody agreed.

“Thanks, guys.”

“So, what’s new with you two?” Dipper asked.

The two exchanged looks and then Soos burst with happy news. “We’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend, dudes!”

“Hey, that’s great!” Dipper congratulated.

“ECK!” Mabel squealed. “All of my dreams are coming true! I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Thanks.” Melody giggled. “Soos was so sweet. Had this beautiful picnic set up and asked me to be his girlfriend, honestly I would've said yes a long time ago.”

“Aw, couple goals!” Mabel cooed.

~~~~~~~~~~

Stan and Ford arrived at the Mystery Shack a week before Dipper and Mabel were supposed to come back for the summer. Right off the bat, Melody happy shook both of their hands as Soos introduced her to the famous Mr. Pines and Dr. Pines. They were surprised to find her, not in an employee’s uniform, but a suit and she borrowed the fez and an eight-ball cane. She kissed Soos’ cheek before hurrying off to run a tour.

“Soos, what’s all that about?” Stan asked, pointing at Melody’s get-up.

“Oh, right. Well, I haven’t found a handyman quite right for the job, so sometimes I gotta make repairs instead of giving tours, so on those days Wendy runs the register and Melody runs the tours as the miraculous Mrs. Mystery! She’s a natural!”

“And over to your left you’ll see our amazing Box of Mystery. If you put your credit cards in, they mysteriously disappear.” Melody said and the gullible tourists put their credit cards in the little mail slot.

Stan patted Soos’ shoulder. “Yup. She’s a keeper.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Melody proved to not only be as sweet as sugar and as sharp as a knife, but also as tough as nails when in a pinch. Of course, anyone who saw her beat up creepy animatronic robots at a pizza joint with a chair knew this, but it became even more apparent when she beat eyebats out of the shack with a broom, carried five huge crates full of merchandise by herself, and could hang Dipper from one arm and Mabel from the other arm.

The kids loved her as much as they loved Soos, and though she had her own apartment, she was always over at the Shack. Jokingly, towards the end of that summer, Stan laughed, “Honestly, you’re here so much, you should just move in.”

Soos turned bright red. He had planned on offering Melody to move in with him when everyone left after summer, but when Melody’s cheeks turned bright red and she giggled nervously, he couldn’t help but stutter, “I-I-If y-y-you w-want to, dude, y-y-you c-can.”

Melody smiled and kissed his cheek to try to ease any worry he might have. “I’d really like that.”

No amount of eye-rolling could hide the smile on Stan’s face, which Ford quickly pointed out and teased his twin for.

~~~~~~~~~~

If it was somehow possible, Stan’s hair became a paler gray over the years, but he wasn’t that old yet! Ford’s hair was a little paler, too, but he still had that lighter stripe. Mabel, now a sixteen-year-old, stood in a beautiful maid-of-honor’s dress. Stan tugged at his suit as he watched Soos and Melody dance, their first dance as a married couple, on the dancefloor just outside the Mystery Shack. 

It had been a beautiful summer wedding in the early afternoon. The sun was setting and soon the dangling lanterns and buzzing fireflies would make excellent sources of light. The cake was half-eaten and the party was still going strong, but this one quiet moment was surreal for everyone. Stan just stood there and happily watched his best employee holding someone he loved and swaying to the soft music.

“Aw, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel cooed quietly. “You’re crying.”

Stan blinked and finally noticed that his eyes were a little wet. He scrubbed at his eyes and hissed, “No I’m not.”

“Stanley, you always were a sap for romance.” Ford joined in the picking of his younger brother.

“I said I ain’t crying!” Stan said firmly, but his eyes were soon wet again and all he could do was grumble as he watched the newlyweds dance.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Seven: A Portrait ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

It’s been three weeks, and he hasn’t seen hide or hair of her. And he’s not going to text her, if only because he refuses to fall to his brother’s meddling.

Three weeks since he and Itachi wandered into that art exhibition. Three weeks since Sasuke saw the street portrait of himself she’d drawn while he’d been at his usual coffee shop haunt. Three weeks since Itachi bought it and not so subtly encouraged them to exchange numbers.

And now he can’t help but be disappointed that she’s not here. And it’s all Itachi’s fault! Sure, he’d been curious before, but actually meeting her and seeing that stupid portrait (it wasn’t stupid, he’s just peeved) made it almost unbearable.

She’s yet to come back...at least, not while he’s there. Every weekend he’s popped by for a few hours, hoping for some reason to run into her while he’s there. But every weekend, he’s ended up disappointed.

Then he starts wondering if she’s avoiding it because the whole thing embarrassed her. Not that he’d blame her: Itachi made a whole spectacle out of it! Leave it to Itachi to turn something so mundane into a scene.

Thumb scrolling back and forth over his contacts screen, he watches her name go up and down, up and down. He doesn’t want to text her. He doesn’t want Itachi to win. It just seems so...ridiculous. The circumstance aren’t foretelling. They’re not some romance movie cliche. The only reason he’s considering it is due to his brother’s interference.

And it’s driving him nuts!

Powering off his phone, he scowls and takes up his laptop. She’s still not here. He’s wasted enough time as it is - time to actually be productive this weekend.

He goes home and busies himself with random take-home work from the office. Nothing exciting, but it needs to be done. And the mindless task keeps his brain on one track.

At least...until he’s done.

Lounging atop his couch that evening, he slings an arm up over his eyes with a sigh. He doesn’t know this girl. Know anything about her. The only thing connecting them in any way is the drawing she did. Nothing else.

So why can’t he stop letting his mind wander to her?

She’s cute. He’ll admit that much. Short, with a rounded face and fuller build than most girls he’s even been thrown in with. And her occupation is unique. He’s never actually really known any artists, unless you count his brother...but he’s into music, not drawing.

The next day after work, he goes to the building that had held the art open house. To his disappointment, it’s closed...and the previous galleries cleared out. Of course it wouldn’t last this long, but...he just thought...maybe…

She’s a street artist, he reminds himself. She wanders and finds whatever looks viable to draw. He can’t begin to know what draws her eyes - and he won’t pretend to. So, Sasuke really has no idea where to even begin to look.

So, he just...starts wandering.

The Spring day is drawing to a close - his work day runs until five, and he spent far too long trying to gather clues from the gallery host.  He’s got maybe half an hour of daylight left. The odds of finding her are low.

It’s well after dark by the time he gives up.

Heading into a fast food joint (it’s the only thing left open after eight), he gets something basic to shove down his throat. Not the best dinner, but it’s too late to cook, and his mood’s been soured anyway.

Digging out his phone, he idles over what to do with it. Send Itachi a grumpy text, send Naruto a grumpy text...send Hinata a casual hello…

No!

But...why no? He can’t really kid himself at this point. He’s too curious. Too invested.  This has got to stop somehow. Opening the message window, thumbs fidget over the keys hesitantly as he chews on his straw.

“...Sasuke?”

Eyes go wide, taking a sip of soda by accident in an attempt to gasp...and quickly choking.

Are you kidding?!

Flinching as she holds her to-go bag, Hinata tries not to stare as Sasuke attempts to regain his composure. “Are...are you okay?”

“Fine...I’m fine. Just…” He can’t explain. Probably doesn’t have to. “What, uh...what are you doing here?”

“Picking up something fast and c-cheap. I was out all day sketching in the park, so...no time to make dinner.”

“Oh, uh...same. About the dinner thing. Was, uh...busy.”

She perks a brow at him. “...I see.”

Awkward silence.

“So, uh...get anything good?” he dares to ask, still clearing his throat a bit from the sting of soda in his windpipe.

“I did!” Glancing to her bag, she pauses a moment before asking, “You...want to see?”

“Sure.”

Sliding into the booth opposite him, she sets aside her food and digs out a sketchbook. “Most of this was just landscape scribbles...I’ve been n-needing to practice them. But I got a pretty good portrait, too…”

Delicate fingers flip through the pages, briefly displaying the more messy sketches before opening up to the page she’s seeking.

It’s an old woman in the strangest looking coat he’s ever seen: a myriad of pockets and buttons and a frill of what looks like feathers around the collar…? She’s sitting on a park bench, feeding a rather large flock of pigeons.

“What do you think?”

Studying it a bit longer, Sasuke opens his mouth, pauses...and then says, “She...kinda looks like a pigeon herself.”

“That’s what I thought!”

The blurted reply draws eyes, and they both go pink. Sheepish, Hinata ducks her head. “I just, y’know...the feathers, and -”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. She really -”

“Looks like one of them, doesn’t she?” Hinata giggles. “It was just too perfect! I had to get a sketch in. No idea if I’ll be able to finish it...I’ll have to see if she comes back. And hopefully wearing that coat.”

Staring at it again, Sasuke can’t help a soft snort. “You find the most interesting people to draw, don’t you?”

“I do.” There’s a small, cheeky smile. “Guess your b-brother thinks so too, huh?”

At that, he goes pink. “...I’m sorry about all that, by the way -”

“Oh, it wasn’t anything bad! Just...a little embarrassing. I’ve never actually sold anything before, so...his interest and his generosity made it quite the first experience.”

“You haven’t…? But your art’s amazing!”

She gives a modest duck of her chin. “...thank you.”

“I mean, I dunno anything about art, but...I really liked what I saw. And I guess Itachi did, too. He’s got an eye for talent. If he liked your stuff, that’s a good sign, believe me.”

That seems to perk her up.

“Anyway, uh…” Sasuke rubs a hand at his neck. “...I haven’t seen you around the coffee shop.”

“Oh...yeah, I’ve been trying to find new locations to draw. I go there a lot, actually.”

“You do?”

“Mhm! Guess we just...never crossed paths until I drew you.”

“That’s weird...cuz I’m a regular. I practically live there on the weekends.”

“Guess we just had to find the right time!”

“...yeah, guess so.”

“...a-anyway, I...better get home.”

“Yeah, me too. Thanks for showing me your drawings.”

“Sure! And, um…” She goes pink. “If...if you ever want me to draw you again, just ask! It...was a lot of fun. And you make a great model.”

“...I do?”

“Y...yeah! You have a very interesting profile. And expressions. But...maybe that was because you didn’t know I was drawing you.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, probably. Uh...sure, if you want me to.”

“Okay! I’ll text you when I’ve got a free weekend.”

“Sounds good.”

Not wanting to walk with her after saying goodbye, Sasuke lingers as she takes her leave. Well, looks like he’ll be her subject again...but he wonders if he’ll be as appealing if he knows she’s doing it. Only one way to know, he supposes.

Glancing to his phone, he considers telling his brother, but...decides against it. He’ll probably want to buy that one, too. Once was enough...though Hinata could probably use the money.

...maybe later, then.

     Exhausted, long day, this'll be brief OTL      Sequel-ish to day eighty-five. Not...that great cuz I couldn't write until VERY late, and my eyes are killing me @~@ I'm getting old. Sorry if this is a little lackluster. Tomorrow, I hope, won't be as busy, and I can write something better~      But, either way, thanks for reading!