#like I call some of my friends by their family given nicknames after spending time with their families

[emmathe82nd]

New dan bear lore just dropped, Dan’s fursona would unironically be a spectacled bear.

It’s so him. And it’s so cute!

[coupleoffanfics]

same person who said teehee(batfam related again xx)

so anyway!!!

you also mentioned that Selina likes y/n, and I seriously need a small drabble w their interactions! I bet that's why y/n likes cats so much! cause she was hanging out with Selina or with Selina in almost all her patrols hihihi

I hope you enjoy this anon. I just made them into HC, I hope you don't mind. Though if you aren't satisfied with it feel free to send another ask. 😊

Selina meets y/n when she takes the role of Batgirl. It's an average night for Gotham. Stealing jewels and whatever catches Selina's eyes. Then there's a little squabble with Batman.

She puts down her bag of stolen goods to fight. She is so focused on fighting with Batman that she almost doesn't notice the figure taking her bag and starts trifling though it. They take whatever they're looking for and place it back to where it belongs.

Batman and Selina are fighting while Batgirl! y/n is trying to put everything back to the way it was.

Oh, no there's some broken glass! Batgirl! y/n goes to the janitor's closet to grab a broom and sweeps up the glass. She might have pulled out the mop if she didn't notice an opening for her to strike.

The kick to the back didn't hurt Selina in the slightest, it just caught her off guard. Though Batgirl! y/n acts like she just stabbed Selina.

Blabbering about how she's sorry and hoped that it didn't hurt too much. But Selina fondly remembers how Batgirl! y/n admitted that she thought her cat ears looked cute.

After that they'll have little interactions every so often.

Maybe if they have a fight or something Selina will say, "You don't want to get hurt do you, Kitty?" Then young Batgirl! y/n smiles. Slightly puffs out her chest, "I'm no Kitty. I'm a Chickadee, that's what my Mama called me." Selina then just calls her Chickadee after that.

Young y/n finds out about Selina's real identity when at a Gala. She's probably goofing off with Tim or just sitting alone bored when she hears a familiar voice call her Chickadee.

She thinks it's a big secret knowing who Catwoman really is. Doesn't tell Bruce or even Tim even though they knew long before her. Thinks she hot shit with this information and believes she's just best friends with Selina than the other two. No, y/n you aren't supposed to befriend the criminals!

Honestly a few villains might hear about the little nickname y/n was giving and mock her. "What are you going to do about it, Chickadee?" She always pouts a little before saying, "You aren't allowed to call me that!"

If there was a big fight going on, Batgirl! y/n was severely injured Selina would jump in. Depending on how bad the injury is she'll either defend y/n from anymore harm or just kidnap her.

y/n wakes up in a cozy bed with some cats laying around her. She's convinced she's found haven. Spends the rest of the night with Selina as she introduces y/n to all her cats.

They just have a little soft spot for each.

y/n wants hugs. She's a touch starved goblin, but she's too scared to ask. Though if she just asked Selina, she'd gladly give her as many as she wanted.

At the start y/n isn't given too much "freedom" during patrols. She's still young, inexperienced, and not to mention she can be a bit innocent. Though when she has a few years under her belt, I could see Bruce begrudgingly letting her patrol on her own.

This isn't where the family neglect starts, so Bruce is pretty connected to her. Not to mention that Jason was probably still in the back of his mind.

I couldn't really see y/n being one to skip patrol duty. Too much of a goody-two-shoes to really do that. Though I could see Selina coming by to play around and distract her from her duty.

Selina could be doing this from boredom or wanting to see the girl relax. A kid shouldn't be so serious. They should be growing up and being care free. She'd also like for y/n to grow up and not become so brooding like her father. Though thankfully y/n is willing to entertain Selina from time to time.

If things are calm, they might sit in alleyways to pet stray cats while chatting. Their conversations are nothing serious and quiet mindless honesty, but it's nice.

They can both just take a breath and bask in the cuteness of the alley cats.

[baddygab-bi]

Maybe it’s because I’m a Hawaii five-0 fan, but I can’t see Buck and Eddie as romantically written after watching Steve and Danny. I know they’re different shows, but it’s night and day even with some similarities.

(Warning for very small, vague spoilers. I’m halfway through S10 of Hawaii 5-0 so no spoilers for S10 please. Also I highly rec H50)

McDanno:

Characters always commenting on their relationship. “Mom and dad” “parents” “married”

Buddie:

2 comments on their relationship. Online stream viewers, Elf. Both in the earliest seasons for Eddie.

McDanno:

Takes care of Danny’s kids. Kisses them on the head. Tucks them into bed. Says I love you multiple times. Steve rescues Danny’s daughter from multiple highly dangerous situations and is openly distraught about it. Calls Danny’s daughter “my girl.” Brings Danny’s kid into Steve’s life, even when he’s in a relationship.

Buddie:

Takes care of Chris on fewer ~on screen~ occasions. Openly distraught when saving him on one the one occasion the show gave. Does obvi 100% love Chris and spends time with him, but it’s seen less on screen due to the nature of the show.

McDanno:

Danny calls Steve “babe”. Multiple times. An episode. Steve calls (and refers to) Danny “Danno” a family nickname.

Buddie:

Contrary to popular opinion, Buck has never called Eddie “Eds” nor do they regularly use any other cute nicknames for each other.

Mcdanno:

Treated in the show as a romantic pairing when they’re both not in relationships, and even when they are. In most episodes. In a fantasy sequence (no spoilers) they literally take pictures with a certain child and grow old together. They cuddled on the couch. They were roommates. They’ve pretended to be a gay couple. They touch each other all the freaking time: arms, shoulders, hands, lower back (it was a joke but also not), head. Have slow-ish danced together. Eat breakfast together while sitting on the counter. They’d save each other no matter what it takes. They went on a couples retreat. Couples counseling. They say I love you constantly, like once they started saying it they just kept saying it. They’ve given literal pieces of each other to the other (hard to not spoiler that so kept it vague)

Buddie:

They aren’t treated like a romantic pairing in every episode. At most they say the other always invites the other and they’ve been seen together in the end of episode wrap ups. The couch theory would’ve been a great time to dig into stuff. They’d save each other, but because of the show it’s not nearly the same level of involvement. Have never said I love you (correct me on that if I forgot). They’re treated as best friends who are clearly very much in each other’s lives, but they didn’t push the line into it being romance.

Mcdanno:

They’re literally intertwined in each other’s lives. Like financially, physically, emotionally, career-wise. We know how much they’re involved with each other even when the other isn’t there. Other characters will bring them up. They can’t have storylines without the other being involved in some way.

Buddie:

They’re in each other’s lives legally, emotionally, and career-wise. Though, they can have separate storylines that don’t involve the other.

McDanno:

Talk about the hard stuff a lot. Their lives, feelings, relationships, sex lives.

Buddie:

Talk about the hard stuff less. When there’s monumental stuff they do, but it’s rarer, but the show is also less dark and has less episodes.

Mcdanno:

Can read each other’s minds and body language in and out of work: People comment on it.

Buddie:

They can read each other. Mostly at work. Nobody ever comments beyond their good work.

McDanno:

Called each other “brother” a few times and it didn’t kill the non-platonic vibes.

Buddie:

Called each other “brother” once, and if done again, it would kill any romantic vibes.

In all:

They’re different shows. H50 has about 25 episodes a season and is a different genre of show to 911. But the relationships, the two men, divorced, kid(s), work together, is similar, though drastically different.

McDanno never went cannon. I can watch the show and see it both romantic and like an amazing bromance. It’s not a far grasp to see the romance.

Who knows about Buddie going canon, the show is still on air. But it reads like a very deep friendship, a great bromance. The romance stuff isn’t there. Do I think it could be? Yeah, but they have to put it in by choice and not leave it to interpretation. As of now? Nothing that can be 100% read as romantic.

[returnofnonya]

From Thief To House Husband Part 3: Finale

Life was nearly perfect now. The eldest son of the Smith family was under my control. Or rather, under the control of my best friend Roy. Regardless he was too busy going to raves at gay clubs and getting his back blown out at night to cause me any more problems.

The other two Smith boys had already moved out and were enjoying their independence, so things were going perfectly.

Until Mrs. Smith came home. I had to pretend to love this woman, which was difficult because quite frankly I didn’t even like her. I was able to endure it until she told me that she got promoted again, this time to a position that would require less travel. No more business trips to leave me alone so that I could have my free time.

I tried putting up with her, but apparently distance creates longing. She wanted to spend time with her husband, oblivious to the fact that he didn’t even exist anymore. I couldn’t take it anymore, so on Christmas Day her annual handmade gift was divorce papers that I printed out after my lawyer sent them over.

Rather unfortunately for me, she was the breadwinner and stood to keep a pretty hefty sum of her fortune. I knew I had to sabotage her in the divorce, so I’d have to call upon the only potential ally I had left, Officer Kevin.

Kevin was an older guy on the police force, now a detective. He had always shown Roy and I mercy and tried to help us get on the right path. One of the only good pigs in existence as Roy and I would put it. I knew he had his regrets, so I decided to stop by the station and give him the opportunity of a lifetime.

Upon my arrival I requested to speak with him privately, and being a rich white man I found that it was pretty easy to walk into a police station and ask for whatever I wanted. In a matter of minutes Kevin and I were alone in the conference room.

“Uh…Mr Smith, it’s a pleasure as always to see you, but the incident happened almost a month ago. I’m not sure how else we could possibly help you.” He stated, confused.

“Not the police department, but you, Kevin Bacon.” I grinned, a nickname Roy and I had for him.

“Oh I see Roy has been influencing you a bit, yes?”

I shook my head. “No. Mateo. See Bacon, I didn’t die. I transferred myself into a new, fancy body.” I pulled out my briefcase and showed him the vials. “Each of these can extract my consciousness and allow me to focus on someone. They allowed me to take over this asshole, and for Roy to take over his son. Our lives have been paradise, but unfortunately this body’s wife has returned home. I filed for divorce, but there’s a problem. His wife is being represented by Santiago.”

Bacon caught on surprisingly quickly having seen lots of strange things unfold in his time on the force. “I see…it does suck for you that ‘your’ wife is being represented by the most bloodthirsty lawyer out there.” Bacon hated Santiago, he was one of the best lawyers around and loved by rich white trash. He could get DUI charges of a rich kid shotgunning tequila on a security camera behind the wheel of his car dismissed and sealed from the records.

“Yes, right now we both hate him, so I have a proposal for you. Become Santiago. Sabotage my wife’s chances against me, get me as much money as you can. Then you can spend your life as a relatively younger and incredibly wealthy lawyer and make sure he never lets another scumbag off easy.”

Bacon thought about this proposal, and his life. He got into the force to make the world a better place and tried to help good guys in bad situations like Roy and I. He had obviously failed in that department given that he and I stole other people’s lives and bodies. Come to think of it, he didn’t accomplish a single one of his goals. Surely by taking an asshole like Santiago’s body, he could stand to make some changes in the world using his resources and connections!

“…okay, I’m in.” He said, hesitant and determined at the same time. We sat down and began forming the perfect plan.

Later that night Santiago was in his office. Highest floor of the building, of course. He was preparing himself for a charity gala, despite really not giving a fuck about anyone underneath his tax bracket. He likes to go and enjoy fine wine and network while cutting one the smallest checks at the event. Given the fact that my vessel was currently involved in one of Santiago’s cases, it was pretty easy to be let into his office. Bacon and I walked in together, a half filled vial in my pocket for when the time would come.

That’s when we saw him wearing this stupid outfit. What possible reason would he have to wear this to a gala? Apparently he read the shock on our faces and simply said, “It’s noir themed. Now how can I help you Mr. Smith? Here to beg for mercy in the coming divorce? Having a beat cop with you won’t intimidate me at all.” This seemed to piss Bacon off, so he chimed in right away, “No. We’re here to tell you that you’ll be famous for negotiating one of the worst divorce deals in history after we’re done with you.” He seemed determined, so I handed him the vial and he took it immediately, throwing his soul into the unsuspecting Santiago who groaned, stumbling back for a moment before chuckling.

“Oh my god! I’m 20 years younger, and apparently hung like a horse! But…why do I feel so light?” Bacon asked using his new mouth. “Simple. I gave you half of a vial. You’re not rooted inside of Santiago like I am into this asshole, and you won’t be unless I’m satisfied with how the divorce ends. Keep in mind my body died after I abandoned it, so who knows what will happen if the possession expires?” Bacon looked shocked but I just chuckled and walked up to him, copping a feel of his new tits. “I need my insurance policy. You’re a good guy, after all. Now how about you stop looking like a betrayed puppy and show me how big that new meat is?” Due to the stress of his job and his former age, it had been a while since Kevin got laid. He was in no position to say no.

Soon enough we were making out fiercely, me ripping his button shirt open and grabbing at his tits while he pulled my pants and underwear off in one swift move using his new body’s strength. “Put it in, I’m ready…” I whispered against his lips. He seemed shocked by that given Santiago’s size, but it made sense when he reached for my hole and realized I had a vibrator inside of me all day long. He pulled it out, earning a moan from me as he shoved himself fully inside, causing me to arch my back and moan even louder.

Santiago was a regular Casanova. His assistant was paid more than enough to turn a blind eye to the secret after hour meetings that went on in his office. The sound of skin slapping filled the room as Bacon hammered me like his life depended on it. Even with my prep Santiago’s meat was huge and earned more and more moans from me as I gripped the edges of the desk for dear life. “Goddamn he’s a monster! No wonder he’s so fucking audacious!” I moaned as I clenched my hole around his cock, leaning up to start sucking on his tits.

“I haven’t had sex this good since the fucking 80s!” Bacon moaned out as he slammed in and out of me. His attention was directed to a mirror in the office and he watched himself as he controlled Santiago’s body, forcing it to have sex with the enemy who he was about to sabotage the whole case for. He couldn’t hold it anymore and he slammed one final time, moaning loudly as he busted deep inside of me and triggered a chain reaction, making me shoot a high arch that splattered his tits. I was only human, there was only so much prostate abuse I could take.

We stayed still for a moment, both panting and covered in sweat, a stupid grin on our faces. “Mm…here’s to getting our perfect life, Bacon.” I said before smacking his ass. “Now, go and begin sabotaging this case then you can keep his body forever and drop by to have some fun with me and my son.” I winked and slid out from underneath him.

Soon after that life went exactly as it should have always been for me. Kevin honored his end of the deal and made sure to destroy my wife’s case against me by creating a fake affair, allowing me to get away with 60% of her assets. I then let him drink the rest of the vial and permanently become Santiago.

From there on, life was a breeze. My other sons cut contact with me, the one that stayed was a whore who loved pleasing me, and I had a massively hung lawyer who lived to please me and get me out of any legal trouble I found myself in.

My days of being a thief were behind me, for good now.

(I had some pretty severe writer’s block but I figured you guys deserved a finish story. Hope you liked the thief to house husband series!)

[ven10]

hello! it's your friendly anon again :D! i truly love how details you are with your headcanons! the isadora headcanon is my favorite!

this been on my mind after browsing your blog a bit, so i hope you don't mind me asking once again. as your main focus is the unfortunate generation, especially the quagmire triplets, do you have any thoughts or headcanons for the other kids? in particular, fiona? fiona is one my favorite characters next to the quags. i would love to read anything you have for her.

Hi again anon! :) Great hearing from you again! :D I’m really happy you liked the last hcs I did!!!! :)))

I have lots of hcs for the unfortunate gen so I’ll just stick to answering for Fiona in this so my answer doesn’t turn out to be the length of a novel! :) [feel free to ask for the other characters again tho+I will happily answer in detail!]

Thoughts about Fiona:

Not hesitating is definitely a key aspect of her character (I mean that one’s obvious tho) but I like how consistent this is with all aspects of her. She doesn’t hesitate to take charge but she also doesn’t hesitate to correct those who are in charge, like correcting Captain Widdershins by adding “or she” to his motto.

{ Negative side of this? Not hesitating for long enough to kiss Klaus. As in, not even waiting for his consent. Although it is stated on page 232 of ‘The Grim Grotto’ that Fiona “hesitated for a small moment” the fact that Klaus’ reaction to the kiss of to lift “one trembling hand to his face, as if Fiona had given him a slap instead of a kiss” clearly conveys how the kiss was unwanted. Although I personally believe it was more so due to circumstances than attraction that the kiss was unwanted as Fiona does this after betraying the Baudelaires. }

Wracking up life experiences like kissing is maybe something Fiona is trying to do as she may feel she’s missing out by spending her time isolated from her peers on a submarine. Maybe she didn’t even want to kiss Klaus specifically, maybe she just wanted to kiss someone. Resulting in her failing to consider (or failing to act on the possibility) that the romantic desire was not mutual or that it shouldn’t have been acted on under those circumstances, i.e, kissing your crush right after revealing you have teamed up with the guy who has been stalking him+his siblings trying to murder+kidnap them.

Loyal: I know she may seem like one of the least loyal characters in the series given (SPOILERS FOR ‘THE GRIM GROTTO’) how in TGG she betrays the Baudelaires, choosing to join the ‘bad’ side of VFD over helping them however thinking about all that time she spent isolated, likely thinking+imagining scenarios where her brother-Fernald/the hook-handed man- had stayed with her…the fact that Fiona still chooses her brother over her friends despite him abandoning her and becoming a villain clearly conveys how deeply loyal she is to her family.

“mother is dead” “father moved away” “stepfather has abandoned me”

“my brother may not be as wonderful as you Baudelaires, but he’s the only family I have. Aye! I’m staying with him! Aye!” [‘The Grim Grotto’ Chapter 13, page 224]

The fact that in this outburst Fiona is (subconsciously?) mimicking the speech patterns “Aye!” of the stepfather who abandoned her is another level of sad. She has to follow her family because she knows that if she doesn’t then she will be left behind.

***

I noticed a slight parallel between Fiona’s character and Olaf in the Netflix version. (Not exact wording)

Violet: His name’s Phil.

Fiona: Well, I call him Cooky.

Vs

Fiona: His name’s Fernald.

Olaf: Well, I call him Hooky.

In Fiona’s case I doubt the nickname was meant as insulting given how Phil says he doesn’t care what he’s called whereas in Olaf’s case Fernald tried multiple times to tell Olaf his name but was shut down every time. This shows how although Fiona’s actions may be similar to some of the villainous characters (E.g by joining the ‘bad’ side of the schism) her good intentions are what sets her apart.

***

The way she folded her family photo in Netflix!TGG was having creases between each person in the photo (photo of younger Fiona with her stepfather and Fernald). This could be so that she only sees the image she wants to see when looking at it, E.g, folding Fernald away so she sees only her stepfather+her and doesn’t have to remember the pain of Fernald being gone.

Defiant: A detail I remember from the book version of TGG is ‘or she’ being scratched next to the quote ‘He who hesitates is lost.’ I like how she’s willing to noticeably+permanently challenge flawed things. Especially given how she may have risked punishment for this ‘vandalism’.

Capable+Independent: in Netflix!TGG Fiona was able to successfully control an entire submarine on her own!! She even repaired damaged solo! This is impressive (if a little sad that so much responsibility+pressure has been placed on her…)

I love how said independence clashes with Violet’s character. These two have had to take charge of things for their own safety (+the safety of siblings for Violet) that it’s difficult for them to follow decisions made by the other.

In terms of VFD…she’s in deep😟… Fiona didn’t even know what was in the sugar bowl but still chose to pursue that inanimate object over taking three children to ‘safety’. Also, in her telegram to Kit Snicket in ‘The Grim Grotto’ she mentioned the safety of the sugar bowl BEFORE the danger that three live human beings aka the Baudelaires were in. Yikes. (Ig that’s what growing up surrounded entirely by VFD members can do…)

Sorry to low-key insult her like this but Fiona had no need to reveal Fernald was her brother to Olaf. The revelation would be more likely to get her used as blackmail to get Fernald to do Olaf’s bidding than anything else tbh. (Scene took place in TGG when Olaf was threatening to kill Fernald and had his hands to his throat, pushed up against a wall). Maybe the threat of the situation caused Fiona to act without thinking. Especially given the ‘no hesitating’ mindset that’s been drilled into her.

Major respect to Fiona for somehow putting up with this mess of a man for YEARS :’) [Cap Widdershins]

This is probably reading WAY too into it but you said you like my detailed analysis so,like a submarine, I’ll dive in DEEP. Fiona’s glasses are shaped like isosceles triangles: 2 sides equal, 1 different. Fiona+Fernald on one side of VFD captain Widdershins on another. 🔼

2 angles the same, 1 different. Fiona being willing to see things from Fernald’s angle. Cap Widdershins being unbudging.

Or, Captain Widdershins + Fernald knowing secrets that are “too terrible for young people to know” whilst Fiona is left in the dark. Someone is always left out in their family trio.

Hc that post-canon Fiona living on land would choose clothes like jumpsuits that resemble what she wore on the Queequeg for familiarity. Refuses to go to the opticians to update her prescription for the longest time bc she doesn’t want to change her triangle glasses. Klaus avidly encourages her to avoid the opticians. Eventually she goes bc she is informed that she can keep the frames+just change the lenses if she wants to. 👓

Fiona would find it really difficult to adjust to ‘normal’ life post-canon (if she ever gets that chance-) bc ordinary life would be so STRANGE to her after growing up underwater 🌊 surrounded entirely by VFD members. Poor girl probably thinks communicating via secret code through literary references is normal. Also she’s not had many peers to interact with so that’d be an issue. Not to mention things VFD (especially the ‘bad’ side) may have forced her to do that she’d have to come to terms with…

Uses ‘Shiitake mushrooms!’ as a swear 🍄.

Hope you like this analysis, anon! Sorry this took a while, Fiona is a complicated character+I wanted to do her justice. :)

Also, she would use this mug I found on Pinterest! ☕️

[blubushie]

do u just name the guns/knives or do u name other stuff too (i'm asking respectfully)

Ok, since you come respectful I'll answer respectful.

Getting this out of the way: I'm autistic. Object personification is a symptom of autism. It is something I have. This paper will be very sad if you don't read it. I will also be referring to people as "humans" throughout this to separate from my own concept of "people."

I'm an extremely low empathy autistic, plus some other things. While I'll see non-human things as people, I also don't really see humans as people. It's more like watching animals go about their natural behaviours. I'm an outsider looking in, taking notes on behaviour and interactions within the community. I don't think of humans as any different from the animals I observe and hunt. We're all just organisms. Humans are people with our own place in the food chain, try as we might to rise above it. There is me, a person. There is Misty, a person. Once I get to know another human well, they become a person to me instead of just another animal.

Only ones this doesn't apply to is kids. I'm horribly empathetic to kids. Teenagers are on thinner ice but still get empathy. But kids fuck me up hard. If something happens to a child I'll be fucked up for days.

This doesn't mean I go around being an arsehole, because I'm polite and learnt a long time ago and that no one will ever really understand my perspective on how I see other people. They'll call you a monster, a freak, a psychopath, etc. They'll think you want to harm humans, or that you're a bad person because you don't see other humans with the same personhood as you see yourself, or say you dehumanise humans. And I don't reckon I dehumanise humans, because all of humanity is like this to me. Additionally, while I'm low-empathy, I'm not a fucking sadist. I don't want anything to suffer. Shots I take on animals are clean and accurate--ethical and humane. I try to have the same approach with people. If someone is in distress, I am going to help them because that's the right thing to do. I might not personally care about the person, but I will help them because it's good to be kind. Sometimes that means I put up with a lot more shit than I should.

When I get close enough to someone, I start seeing them as people. Those in my server, my mates, my family. If I become emotionally attached to something, my empathy starts working and they become a person to me. But this also means that anything with sentimental value to me is now granted personhood. Misty is a person. My rifle, Winnie, is a person. My knife, Kaz, is a person. My stockwhip Stozza, my ute Matilda (though really, Matilda is the camper and not the rig itself). These are all people to me. They have emotions and feelings and this paper will be very sad if you don't read it.

And when something is granted personhood, I grant it a name. There's a reason everyone in my server--my friend group--is given a nickname by me, even if most of them don't know what I've given them. There's a reason my rifle and knife and car have names. There's a reason my dog has a name. People have names.

When I first got Winnie at twelve, she was just my gun. "Can I bring my gun?" No, Jet, we don't bring guns to Macca's. "I'll leave it in the car. I just wanna bring it." I didn't wanna let her out of my sight. She was my pride and joy, even then. And later that year, after I was assaulted, there was days I'd spend shooting tins out behind our caravan, and she was the only thing that made me feel like I had any power over my life. Because she felt powerful. She made me feel safe--like if ever I needed to, I could protect myself. She couldn't change what had happened to me, but so long as she was by my side I was sure it'd never happen to me again.

When I was fifteen and went bush, I brought her with me. .30-06 is fucking overkill for rabbits, but I shot a roo with her and the meat lasted me the whole near-three weeks I was out there until the coppers found me 60km from Ghan. She kept me alive, because I didn't bring enough food for three weeks. To be fair, leaving was an impulse decision and I was also 15 at the time, but still. Her dedication to me then was rewarded with her going from a gun to my most beloved companion, and being granted the name Winnie.

They took her when I was taken into custody, and I wouldn't talk to the detective until he assured me I'd get her back once I left the copshop. I went directly from the copshop into a mental facility, but she was there at the detective's house when he pulled me out of it.

By the time I was 17 and going to high school in rural California, I was in the school carpark when I noticed one of the boys at my school had a semi-auto shotty on the rack in his ute. So on the drive home I stopped by our local gunshop and immediately bought a gunrack for my back window, which is where Winnie rests now when she's not locked in her safe in Matilda or by the door.

Eventually Kaz went from "dad's knife" to "the KA-BAR", then back to "my knife" cuz KA-BAR is a mouthful, then finally to Kaz. By the time I'd bought my camper for my ute, I'd come to terms with sometimes people just Name Things when they get attached. And as I was 17, going on 18, and homeless at the time, I immediately named her Matilda.

When I became a stockman I wasn't given a station knife because I had Kaz and told them I didn't need one, but I was given my stockwhip and after it was used on me I finally gave it the name Stozza. And sometimes I take it out and crack it a couple times just so it's not sitting there coiled in a box at the bottom of my wardrobe.

The pronouns comes with the name territory. I just get a certain vibe off things, if that makes sense? Winnie is, without a doubt, feminine to me. Kaz is feminine to me. Stozza is masculine, but I usually find myself calling him an "it" instead of masculine pronouns because while I'm attached to it for sentimental reasons, it's not quite reached a level of personhood with me yet.

Anyway, hope that covers things. Cheers.

[briamichellewrites]

37

Brian was in New York with Brad. He promised not to talk about the situation with Mike. Thank you. He was given a pass that allowed him on set. Brad went around and introduced him to the cast. Matt hugged him, as did Leonardo. They had to be here, there, and everywhere. He sat in a chair and watched everything going on around him. Being on set was like being at home. He jokingly asked Matt, who was in costume if he was a good guy or a bad guy.

He laughed. His character was a bad guy posing as a good guy. He heard through the years about him having a crush on him. Matt thought it was cute if it was true. He was curious about what it would be like to be with another man. Maybe they could hook up some time while he was there. He was very different from when he last saw him. To be honest, he was extremely attractive!

Brad was the one who told him. He never said anything but he didn’t have to. Brian was always very excited when he came over and he wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. Everything was about Matt Damon. The kid. That was their nickname for him because he was the youngest between him and George. He was his little brother, who he had to protect. That was the joke. Since coming out as bisexual, he never felt attracted to his friends. Just men he met while working.

Angelina was the only woman he found attractive. She grabbed a hold of him and didn’t let him go. He knew better but he was selfish. She was temporary but the pain he caused Mike and Brian was permanent. He would always regret that. Did he want to marry him? Yeah, he did. He wanted them to be a family. But, he didn’t know how much damage he caused his son.

Back at the hotel, Brian and Matt were hanging out in his hotel room. He sat down on his bed while they chatted about the situation between his father and Mike. Brian was so tired of them fighting and putting him in the middle. He was also tired of them apologizing to him. Matt had no idea that was happening and he had a lot of compassion for him. He noticed something strange between them. But he didn’t want to ask. He pulled him closer before standing up.

Without saying anything, they kissed. They took off each other’s shirts before going stopping for a moment to touch each other. Were they going to do this? Yes, they were. They continued taking their clothes off before they laid down on the bed. Matt opened his legs while he got on top. They were both nervous and they had no idea what the hell they were doing. After finding his opening, he slid inside and started moving. Brad was downstairs having a cigarette while talking to Vera Farmiga.

Never would he think that his son was with his best friend. He told her about Brian being transgender. She couldn’t tell. He laughed. Could she ask questions about that? Yeah, he was very open about it. Why did he change his body?

“He has a disorder called Gender Dysphoria, which is where his gender identity doesn’t line up with the gender he feels inside. When he was younger, he insisted he was a boy. We had been talking about the differences between boys and girls. I also taught him about the LGBT community. It was just the basics, so I didn’t confuse him. Or overwhelm him. He was about twelve years old.”

He understood what he was telling him but he started insisting he was a boy. After experimenting with his gender, he broke down in tears when he was thirteen because he hated being a girl and he hated his body. He was initially assessed by a child psychologist but was found to not have the disorder. The psychologist recommended that he let him play around with his gender. He then started therapy for his body issues. About a couple of years later, he got diagnosed and he started hormones.

He did those for twelve months before having his surgeries. How did he choose his name?

“His birth name was Bria, so he just decided to add a letter to make it easier. My boyfriend and I followed the doctor’s and therapist’s advice.”

“What about you and your boyfriend?”

“I think we’re going to break up. We’re just worried about what it’s going to do to Brian.”

He admitted that he cheated with another woman. Since then, they had been fighting and putting him in the middle because he still lived at home with them. He was very angry with both of them and was pulling away from them. Before dating his boyfriend, it was just them and they were very close. Did he get along with his boyfriend? Oh, yeah. He pretty much adopted him. After he cheated, they got engaged to prove he could be loyal to him.

But, he was still angry. He thought the engagement was bs. Vera listened to everything he said. She didn’t know that was happening. It sounded like they needed to have a conversation with him and let him share his thoughts and feelings without judging him. If he needed to, maybe pulling away for a while would be a good thing. He could work through whatever he needed to.

Was she worth it? No, she wasn’t. He didn’t know why he did it other than selfishness. Good. At least he could admit that. Brian finished inside him before pulling out. He laid down next to him. Matt turned to look at him. They shared a kiss. Wow. There was something new between them, a connection they never felt before. Was it everything they dreamed of? No, it was better. They didn’t have much time, so they got up and got dressed. When they got home, they would have to hook up again.

“I heard you had a crush on me.”

Brian laughed. “Oh, my god. That was either my dad or George.”

“It was your dad. I think it’s cute. When we get home, I want to see you again.”

“I would love that.”

They shared another kiss before walking out into the hallway. Dinner was going to be served shortly and they were both hungry. Mike was hungover when he woke up, as was Dave. Together, they ate breakfast which helped a little. They were still nauseous. Thank god it was Saturday morning. They would be back to normal by Monday. They hadn’t been hungover since college and they had to remember how to get rid of the alcohol. When Mike got home, he was going to sleep.

Dave encouraged him to talk to Brad without involving Brian. If they broke up, would he be okay? Yeah, he thought about what he said. He loved him but he didn’t know if he could trust him for the rest of his life. They had to rip the bandage off for Brian and put him first. He wished him luck. Thank you.

When you get home, I want to sit down and talk. Without Brian. I’ll have him hang out with us in the studio to keep him busy. – Mike

Yeah, we do. That’s a good idea. Keep me updated on how he’s doing. – Brad

He promised he would do that. After putting his phone down, he went back to his bed. His head was still killing him. He had taken pain medication but all he wanted to do was sleep. After turning his phone off, he got into his bed and pulled up the covers.

When he closed his eyes, he looked back at his relationship with Brad. Before he knew it, he was crying quietly. It was the first time he cried since the affair. He loved him but he hated him. He had so much unresolved anger that he pushed it down. Now, it was coming out. Yeah, Dave was right. Don’t marry a cheater. He continued crying until he fell asleep.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

[halfbakedspuds]

Adrian's various nicknames for Lyanni (Also yes, I have done a Tolkien and worldbuilt to the point that Callistoan is a fully speakable conlang):

Barbarii (Neo-Latin for Barbarian/Savage)

Teacup (Because she has a knack for putting her life in danger and it feels like he spends half his time just trying to keep her alive. This is also the most short lived nickname)

Lémjur (Callistoan for 'Oranges' because of the perfume she wears coming across as almost offensively citrusy to the human nose despite smelling just fine to her people)

Nevlin (Callistoan for "Rookie", uses while she's still learning the ropes as an IUC Praetor Adjutant)

Lya (Just a shorter version of her name that emerges when the two go from just housemates to friends)

Blosjin (Callistoan for "Little flower")

Blosjan Vutr (Callistoan for "Big, angry flower". He tends to only use this when she's gotten angry enough to start throwing morals out of the window because it annoys her enough to shock her out of some truly heinous actions)

Velsjen (Callistoan word that means something like "Brother/Sister/Sibling who is not of my blood". It basically just means that he sees her as his family and someone he'd gladly die for even though she's not even the same species or culture as him)

Firzasul (Callistoan word that means "Soul of fire", and comes from the proverb "Hôli smá't firzasulur", meaning 'In hell are forged souls of fire')

Aenhan (Callistoan for "Iron hand", used to tease Lyanni when she gets a cybernetic arm, but only starts getting used after he notices her making jokes about being a one-armed bandit)

Milagran (Callistoan for "Big Miracle", and is used sarcastically early on in their relationship whenever Lyanni does something exceptionally stupid as a way of saying "The only way you are still alive after 19 years of being this stupid is through a huge miracle")

Zara, Sovrêna, Arbita, or Enléa (Leadership titles meaning "Empress", "Sovereign", "Arbitor", and "Monarch" in that order to tease her about becoming a royal near the end of the book. However, he does actively choose to use the feminine version of each word- a rare thing given that gendered language has basically gone unused except for archaic speech in Callistoan for close to two hundred years. As to why he makes this choice... spoilers)

Akharet (An Akharet is a Callistoan claiming stone. Each Callistoan clan has a disk carved from stone wrought from the moon's surface that has their sigil and motto engraved on it. In ages past, tradition held that a clan was only truly wiped out when their Akharet was destroyed, and until such time any random person could rise up in the name of that clan. In the 27th century, this is no longer done, but instead these stones have trackers embedded into them to guide the clan's people home regardless of where their home has been moved to. In calling her this, he's effectively saying that "My home is you")

[bokuaosubs]

Nice to meet you. I am Anno Aoi ♪ (Anno Aoi 1st blog)

Hi everyone, it’s nice to meet you.

Thank you for taking a look at my blog! I’m Anno Aoi, 16-years-old, from Saitama Prefecture.

Firstly, I would like to introduce myself ♪

● Name:

Anno Aoi. The kanji ‘安納’ (anno) comes from the Anno Imo sweet potato! ‘蒼衣’ (aoi), is a very rare way of writing ‘Aoi’ in Kanji, and I particularly like the character ‘蒼’ (Ao).

● Birthday:

The 30th of January, 2007. I am currently a sophomore in high school, but for some reason all the members say that I don’t look like a high school student! lol

● Height:

155cm. I haven’t had my height measured recently, but I think I’m 155 centimeters tall!

● Blood type:

Type B! It is quite common for type B to have a distinct personality!

● Personal colour:

Yebe Spring. This is the first time I have been assigned a personal colour and…. I still have a lot to learn…

● Favourite season:

Winter. I like the events, atmosphere and the specific scent of winter, although I am sensitive to the low temperatures!

● Favourite colours:

Cold colours! I like every colour, but if I had to pick one type, I prefer cold colours!

There is so much more to say, but for today, that’ll be it! There’s seriously so much to write about�� I don’t even know where to start. I’m going to tell you some things about the life I lived before joining BokuAo!

I have been a fast-paced and more-than-a-little-negative child, ever since I was little.

I somehow ended up writing down my future dream as being an idol, back when I was in kindergarten.

I wasn’t very good at school and I was very busy in that time, too, but it was during the Corona pandemic, when the school was closed, that I truly fell in love with idols. I started admiring them, because they were the ones who kept giving me hope, back when I couldn’t picture what the future would be like, during the pandemic.

That’s when I came across this audition and my family and friends encouraged me to give it a shot and apply.　

I had always lacked confidence, I wasn’t good at smiling easily and, in the second round, I was playing the snare drums with a completely straight face.

I was very happy to have been given the nickname Marutsuu-chan (No.2-chan) in the SHOWROOM distribution!

I would be happy if there’s anyone here who has been supporting me since the SHOWROOM distribution~ ^_^

Truth be told, I was seriously about to quit [the audition], because I was too scared to wait until the announcement of the applicants who had made it.

If my mother hadn’t stopped me back then, I wouldn’t be here [in this group] now.

I am very grateful to her for stopping me.

During the announcement of who would soon become part of the group, I was very calm, because I thought there was no way I would be accepted.

But I remember that, after my name was called, I was flustered for a really long time.

This is how I ended up joining the group ‘Boku ga Mitakatta Aozora’, with all its members!

Now I’m spending very exciting, as well as fulfilling days with everyone!

The girls are all very kind and funny, and I respect them a lot as human beings. I am really happy to have met such wonderful members!

As it has been stated in my profile, I want to be an idol who can heal people, who can offer them many smiles and lots of hope, without forgetting my original intentions and my gratitude!

Everything is full of beginnings and many things could go wrong, but I will do my best so that you can one day be glad that you’ve chosen to support me.

I will do my best, so that you can see me grow and evolve!

photo by Toa-chan ♡

Thank you for reading all the way to the end!

I would like to keep sharing a lot of information through my blog, so I hope you will continue to read it from now on, too!

This has been Anno Aoi!

[TL by: yuzuiro]

[morethanwordscansay]

HAERIN JUNG. TWENTY TWO. THE PHOENIX.

♡     ◞        statistics.

full  name: haerin jung.

nickname:  her stage name is rina but close friends still call her haerin.

date  of  birth:  tba/tba/1999.

zodiac  sign:  tba.

place  of  birth:  san diego, california.

current  location:  los angeles, california.

gender: cis woman, uses she / her pronouns.

sexuality:  bisexual.

languages: english (native), korean (native).

♡     ◞        bits and bops.

character  tropes:  the pastiche, the phoenix.

traits:  adaptable, hard-working, independent, guarded, cynical, insecure.

habits:  tba.

likes:  summer, colourful flowers, spicy foods, baths with rose petals.

dislikes:  thunderstorms, being late, mustard, horror movies, being ignored.

notable  skills:  transitioning between vocal registers, remembering faces from years ago, .

♡     ◞        background.

born to be an heiress to a massive business empire worth millions of dollars is not as exemplary as you might think, haerin jung would say. growing up under the strict eyes of her negligent parents, she felt that she was destined to be the black sheep of the family. she had frequent pointless arguments with her mother, driving an invisible wall between the two as the years went by. her fraternal twin and her only best friend, hyunwoo, was always obedient and eager to please, delighting their parents to an infinite degree. because of this, haerin believes there is nothing in the world she could do to ever satisfy her parents.

but haerin remembers that her childhood wasn’t always miserable. she was six years old when her aunt took her, hyunwoo and her cousins to the beach every weekend, the days being a blur of icy waves, melting ice creams, sand-covered limbs and cheerful laughter. that was the first time haerin had a taste of the music industry, having seen her first live concert on one of those days. it wasn’t until one day, six-year-old haerin was chosen to sing a song during a karaoke session being held at the beach when haerin became enraptured with the art of performing in front of a crowd. after that, music and singing became such an essential thing to her that she realised that it wasn’t just a hobby -- it was something she wanted to do for the rest of her life.

haerin was seven when her childhood started going downhill. wanting to delve deeper into the world of music, she’d asked for a guitar as her birthday present. although her mother was hesitant about this, her parents granted her wish and she was given an acoustic white oak guitar on the morning of her seventh birthday. soon later, haerin began spending every spare moment she could have with the instrument. believing that both her children should only focus on inheriting their family’s business empire and not on other activities, mrs jung silently disapproved of this.

mrs jung refused to confess her feelings about her daughter’s hobby to her outright, but the resentment in her caused mrs jung to start acting cold towards her daughter.  this caused an evident tension between haerin and her mother, leading to disagreements and fights between the two. as haerin's mental health started worsening, she became more withdrawn from her family and even shutting out jaemin. she began developing some unhealthy habits her life spiralling out of control. this continued on for the next ten years, mrs jung criticising and finding fault in everything haerin did, to the point where haerin and everyone around them knew that all the hatred and fury pent up inside them both would burst. the dreadful day came when haerin turned seventeen. haerin and her mother were fighting again, but their tempers were heightened like never before. haerin’s head was full of rage, the day was a blur and all she remembered was the words her mother had screamed, words she would never forget.

“no daughter of mine would ever disappoint me like you have, and as far as i’m concerned, you’re no longer part of my family!”

the words echoed in her head, shattering every shred of hope that her mother had any love for her left in her body. she’d turned to hyunwoo then, her favourite person, the one she could always count on, but hyunwoo refused to meet her eyes nor stand up for her. that was when she knew she was no longer wanted by anyone. she was alone. swallowing her tears, haerin packed her things, guitar and all and was forced out the door. she got in her car and drove around the city endlessly, eventually ending up on her cousin and her roommate’s couch in los angeles, two hours away from the town she grew up in.

to be continued...

♡     ◞        personality.

she is a heaux for cute floral dresses!! not that she doesn’t want to wear other types of outfits (and she can totally rock them if she wants to) but her fashion sense is just naturally elegant and traditionally girly like that. she’s very nice but she knows how to clap back so don’t EVER be mean to her huge introvert. she kinda doesn’t know how to communicate with strangers or people in general. this is because she was homeschooled, plus with her lifestyle now it doesn’t allow her to meet a lot of people or make friends. even after all the anguish her put her through after not standing up for her, she misses her brother fiercely, but she won’t admit it. if she could meet him again, she would like to tell him that she’s doing fine. she wishes he had been by her side during moments like getting the record deal, or when her youtube video reached a million views for the first time.

she gets melancholic every time her birthday comes around because 1. she used to share it with her brother, and 2. It’s close to the day she got disowned from her family and it just brings back bad memories. as for the actual birthday itself, her tradition now is for her roommates to buy her a small cake and call it happy *age* day. she is absolutely oblivious to her own beauty due to the insecurities that stemmed from being abandoned by her family. will blush like crazy if someone compliments her appearance, and there’s no doubt that she will think of the compliment for the rest of the day. however, she is quite aware of her capabilities as a vocalist. as a popstar, she keeps her personal life relatively private, and though it is known to the public that she is related to the family that owns jung properties, she has managed to dodge every question from paparazzi about it.

♡     ◞        plots.  

tba.

[unluckyhoneybee]

Little thing (Pierre Gasly)

In which you had a baby girl with Pierre but tried to keep things low. Fluff.

Note: I read this and felt the urge to have some Dad!Pierre. Mentions of Antoine. I cried a bit writing this, not gonna lie.

The beginning was difficult. We were merely kids. It was late 2019 when our little girl came to the world. When I got the positive test in February, I was one month pregnant. And it could have only been him.

It happened during Christmas. After a dinner with bithh of our families, Pierre and I had gone to a party with friends. It didn't end up as I thought. I had waken up tangled on his arms.

The call was hard to do. I couldn't find the right words. We were just friends after all.

But then the first talk about the baby came and he swore I would never have to worry about their wellness. They would have the best life. He swore I would do it too. Then he took my hand and looked into my eyes. And I knew it would be okay.

The pregnancy went well, it wasn't too difficult and the baby was healthy. We were two bet friends you would have a baby together. It could work. We would make it.

But then the accident happened and Pierre lost his best friend. He spent the night curled into me with his hand on my belly. It broke my heart in million pieces. But life went on and in October she came to the world.

The day was rainy and Pierre was in Italy. His mother had to call him to tell him I had gone in labor. He arrived only minutes before she was born. On time to cut the cord and kiss my forehead.

Once in the room, when we were both alone and she was sleeping, he sat next to me.

"We need to give her a name" He muttered looking at her. She was on my chest.

"Antoinette." I said with a smile. He looked at me and tears start falling from his eyes.

"Yes?"

"Of course, Pierre. He would have loved her, he was so happy. I want to honor him with this precious gift"

Antoniette was the biggest dad girl. Pierre was completely in love with her. She was the sweetest girl and had his dad's eyes but my smile and hair.

"Anthy" He had given her the nickname on her first Christmas. She was only two months old but was obsessed with papa.

The girl looked up and smiled.

"Papa!"

Pierre sighed. He had to go. He had a race.

"Come here, little thing"

Anthy got up and ran to her dad, jumping on his arms and hugged him. He laughed a bit and kissed her cheek.

"Papa has to go, cherie."

"Race!"

"Yeah, I have to race."

She pouted a bit and I walked closer to them.

"We will watch papa racing, right? Like we always do" I touched her hair and she nodded.

Pierre looked at me. He missed her a lot. He would call every day to only see her little face. Video calls at midnight in the country he was in only because it was her time to wake up.

The world knew about Antoinette Gasly. He never wanted to hide her. They didn't knew about me. Only because he was scared of the world's reaction to the nature of our relationship. We were friends at the end. Even if it was the most difficult thing.

Pierre would come home and spend the biggest time possible with our daughter. He had a room in my house, a single bed, a wardrobe and a few pictures in the walls. His favorite was the one him, Antoine and I took on April when my belly had just started showing.

It's was hard to have him around. It was since the begging when he would talk to my belly and be the cutest guy around me. Then Antoinette came to the world and we got that bond for life. He was my best friend now, my daughter's father and the man of my dreams.

Both of us had been in relationships but always ended up coming back to the other's arms. It was something usual. Me crying on his shoulder or him laying his head on my lap after a break up.

"I don't want you to go" Anthy was an energetic girl, she had started walking super soon and mumbling little words when she was way too young. Pierre said she lived fast like him.

"I now, cherie" He touched her little cheek with his fingers. "I will call you when I arrive and every night. Before you can notice, it will be Monday again and I'll be back"

She was looking at him with watery eyes.

"You will stay here with maman and have a lot of fun watching me race"

Anthy hugged him. It was always like this. She missed him enormously. She was her dad's girl.

I bit my lip as tears formed in my eyes. It broke my heart to see them like this. I crunched next to them. By experience I knew that I would have to take her from him. I caressed Pierre's back slowly and he looked at me. A tear had fallen down his cheek and I cleaned it.

"You now what, Anthy? I will bring you a little gift. Would you like that?"

She lifted her head and looked at him. A little nod and a smile was enough.

"And then on Friday maman and I will pick you from school and go to somewhere"

"Where?"

"A beautiful place. The most beautiful place."

The next Friday, Pierre made his promise true. We spent the whole weekend in a village in the north of Italy. Like a family.

Laying on the hotel room the last night with Anthy between us, he turned to look at me.

"What?" I smiled.

"I have been thinking..."

"Really?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Shup up and let me speak."

I closed my mouth and smiled.

"I want Anthy to come with me to the next GP"

I felt a shiver.

"Really?"

"Yes. I think she is old enough. We can give her some ear protection and all of that."

"Are you sure of it?" Even when he wasn't scared of showing our daughter to his fans and posting bunches of photo dumps with her, he hadn't wanted to take her to the paddock. The media was there, there were a lot of people and she would be exposed for real. She wouldn't have dad's filter of what is posted and what is not.

"I am. I have thought about it for a while. I want her to know my world. What do you think?"

I looked at Antoinette, peacefully sleeping with her hand on my chest. I knew that she would be okay, that Pierre wouldn't let anything happen to her. But letting my little girl go to another country, to a F1 Grand Prix, where there were thousands of people made me anxious.

"J-just... Promise me she won't spend a second alone. O-or that she will always have someone she knows around. You know how she is with new people and..."

"Wow, hey stop. You are coming too. If you want to, of course."

"What?" I gasped.

"Yeah. How could I take Antoinette but not you? My two favourite girls. I want you there. It has been ages sin you came with me"

I bit my lip. His favourite girls. Pierre always cherished me. He adored me. He could build an altar if you let me, but only because I was the mother of his daughter.

"What do you say? I want you both there. You don't have to be in public. You can stay whenever you want. You know how it works."

I nodded slowly.

"Okay"

"Yeah?"

"Yes, we will go with you"

That's how we ended in Belgium, as rainy and cold as always. Anthy wanted the sun, so she was a bit grumpy that morning. She had thrown a tantrum because her papa wasn't there when she woke up. She didn't shed a single tear, but decided that it was a good idea to demolish the sofa. Luckily, she was to small to cause some actual damage.

I was carrying her on my hip as Pyry kept the huge Alpha Tauri umbrella over us. The kid wanted to say hi to uncle Pyry, but she was faking her best anger face. I could see Pyry making silly faces on the corner of my eye, and soon Anthy was laughing and covering her mouth.

"You have to behave or your dad won't let you see the car. A bird told me"

Anthy looked at me and furrowed her eyebrows.

"It's true, only good girls get to see the cars" I told her.

"I'm good"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"And what about this morning?"

She gave me her best puppy eyes.

"No tell Papa"

"Don't tell Papa. That's how you say it. I won't if you promise to behave during the weekend"

"I promise."

When we arrived at the garage, everyone was fussing around Antoinette. Baby Gasly was the cutest thing in the world and everyone agreed with that. She was grabbing your hand and smiling. She loved the attention. And suddenly...

"Papa!!!" She let your hand go and ran to Pierre.

It got Pierre a bit by surprise. He was talking to an engineer and turned around with a huge smile, catching his girl in his arms and hugging her.

"Mon cherie!" He kissed her cheeks multiple times. "Oh look at you!"

She was wearing one of her Dad's merch t-shirts and looked the cutest. It warmed my heart to see how Pierre looked at our daughter. It was so perfect.

"You look so beautiful, little lady"

Anthy smiled and blushed, suddenly shy. She hid on Pierre's neck and he laughed. Pierre told something to the engineer and walked towards Pyry and me.

"Good morning, YN"

""Afternoon, actually" We both laughed and he leaned to kiss my cheek, leaving me speechless and shaking.

"I got everything set for the two of you. You will have access to my motorhome and driver's room. And Pyry can help you with whatever you need. There is food back there. The toilets are right over there and..."

"Papa! The car!" Anthy cut Pierre's rambling and the three of us laughed.

"She wants to see the car." I told him.

"And you were talking too much" Pyry patted Pierre's shoulder. "I'll be back there setting everything"

Pyry left us and Pierre looked at me and smiled. A smile I could not read. His blue eyes looked different today.

"Okay, okay. I'm nervous" He confessed. I didn't want to get too close because there were cameras and media people everywhere. But I discreetly touched his hand.

"We will be okay"

"Papa!" Anthy grabbed his face and made him turn his face. "The car!"

"Okay, okay, let's go and see the car."

I smiled when Anthy squeaked happily. She was a ray of sunshine.

This weekend was hard for Pierre. This place brought so many things to the surface and to see him so smiley with our daughter made me happy.

Pierre helped Anthy to get into the car and she grabbed the wheel instantly. "She is a natural. Are you gonna race like Papa when you are a bit older?" He asked touching her head.

I got my camera out and took as many pictures as I could. It was her first Grand Prix and I was sure Pierre would want to remember it and show her when she grew up.

"Yes! Race"

"Anty?!"

"Yuki!" Anthy loved Yuki. She was so smitten with the guy. It was incredible. He was super shy around her at first, it took him so long to even pick her up, but then... They were besties.

"Hello!"

Yuki leaned on the car too.

"Tell Yuki what are you gonna do when you are older"

"Race! Like Papa and Yuki and Charles."

Everyone in the garage laughed.

"Do we have a Tifosi here?" Someone asked.

"Leclerc has a charm" Pierre said.

"Papa goes fast, but Charles goes fast fast"

Everyone was laughing in the garage.

"We need you guys to fix the cars, we want to go fast fast" Yuki said.

"Yes! Work!!"

Anthy was having so much fun she didn't even cry when Pierre had to leave a couple of times. After lunch, she was playing with Pyry and a ball when Pierre touched my arm.

"I'm going to go and give some flowers to Antoine"

"Okay" I nodded understanding.

"Do you mind if Anthy comes with me?"

I took his hand, not minding the people around us. Pierre always said that the world took his friend from him but gave him his little princess to make his life easier.

"Of course, I don't mind"

"Thank you"

"It's okay"

He took my hands to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

Later in the afternoon, Pierre sat Anthy down on a couch and took his hands.

"Do you remember Antoine?"

She nodded. She was too young yet to understand why Antoine wasn't here or what happened with him, but Pierre always spoke about him.

"We are going to take some flowers to him."

"Flowers?"

"As a gift. Because he is in heaven."

She nodded and jumped down the sofa. Anthy took Pierre's hand.

"Let's go Papa. Maman!"

I looked at Pierre.

"Come with us" He whispered.

"You sure?"

He just nodded.

Walking down the track, I carried the umbrella and had Anthy's hand on mine. She had her own little umbrella. Pierre had a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

When we arrived at the place, I gave Pierre the spare umbrella I had and kept Anthy on my side for a bit. He needed space. Watching him like this reminded me of the day when everything happened. It was probably one of the worst days of my life.

When Pierre let his head hang down, I leaned over Anthy's ear. "Yo and give Papa the biggest bear hug, okay?"

With her little umbrella and her water boots, she ran in Pierre's way and hugged him. They almost fall into the puddle next to them. I cleaned my tears when Pierre nuzzled on Anthy's hair.

I observed for a while. They talked in french. It was their thing. They were confident. Probably she was curious, asking questions about Antoine and the flowers.

Pierre took a couple of flowers from the bouquet and gave them to Anthy. Then got up. I walked to them to have the umbrella while he put the flowers in place. Anthy watched with attention what her dad did.

"Now, come here Anthy. Give those flowers to Antoine"

She nodded and took her dad's hand, letting her flowers right next to Pierre's.

"Bye-bye Antoine, See you next year" She said and made grabby hands at Pierre. He picked her in his arms, keeping her close under his coat.

I covered my mouth to not sob and Pierre pressed his forehead against Anthy's temple.

"Je t'aime tellement, Anthy" I hear him whisper.

"Je t'aime too, Papa"

I little laugh escaped my lips hearing the girl's broken French.

"You say Je t'aime aussi"

Anthy repeated it and Pierre kissed her cheek.

"You are so precious, do you know that? You are the best thing I have."

She smiled.

Pierre looked at me and lift his arm, taking me by surprise and hugging me hard. I hugged his waist, keeping the umbrella over us and leaning to kiss his cheek.

"Hey, I love you so much, okay? Both of you."

I knew why he was saying it and I felt a shiver. I couldn't lose him.

"We love you too, right Antoinette?"

"So so much, Papa. And Maman too"

"Yeah, and Maman too."

I blushed. Probably Pierre didn't loved me in the same way, but having his daughter was one of the best things in my life and I was happy enough with it.

Before the race, Pierre called us. He had a bag in front of him.

"Do you want to see what I got for this race, Cherie?"

"Yes!"

She sat on my lap and watched how Pierre took the helmet out of its bag. I gasped. It was so beautiful.

"Who is that, baby?" Pierre pointed one of the pics and Anthy clasped.

"Anthy!"

"Look at you baby! On Papa's helmet!"

"And Maman too!" Anthy pointed another picture and I felt my heart beating faster. It was a picture of Pierre and me, probably one of the first with the bump. His hand was splayed over it and were both smiling.

"And Maman too." Pierre looked at me with a soft smile and if it wasn't for all the people around us, I would have kissed him.

"It's pretty" It was her favourite color too. "Do you like it Maman!?"

"A lot baby" I said touching her hair.

Pierre took my hand and kissed my knucles.

"I can have you with me during the race, on my helmet."

"Race!"

"Antoinette, give Papa a big bug hug and a good luck kiss" I said trying to swallow my tears.

Anthy jumped from my lap and hugged Pierre, who lifted he on his arms as gave her a thousand kisses.

"Good luck, Papa. Race fast." She grabbed his cheeks and looked into his eyes. "Fast, fast"

Anthy kissed Pierre's nose and I melted. Tears picked in my eyes. It was always scary to watch him race, now that we were here it was even worse.

"Super fast."

Anthy laughed and hugged his neck. "I love you so so much, Anthy. You know it right?"

She nodded.

"I'm so happy that you and Maman are here"

Pierre looked at me for a second and I tried to compose myself.

Anthy hugged him again and then Pierre looked at Pyry, who nodded.

"Anthy. Let's go and see if they built the car well"

She was so happy to go with uncle Pyry, leaving Pierre and I alone. I was confused.

Pierre reached for me and made me stand. His hands cupped my checks and I closed my eyes.

"Don't cry, Cherie"

I tried not to sob. He hugged me then, embracing me with his strong arms.

"Be careful, Pierre. Don't leave us alone, okay?"

Hu hugged me tighter.

"I won't. I will come back. I promise." He whispered.

I pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"We will be here waiting for you."

"If anything happens... Don't let her see it"

"Pierre..."

"No. I will come back. I promise I will do my best. But if anything... Y-you know how I feel about this. Just promise me she won't see it"

Tears were falling down my face. It was different here. We weren't in our sofa. We were in the garage.

"I promise."

"I will be back"

"Good luck, Pierre. Drive safe, okay?"

"Of course"

He kissed my cheek and hugged me again. Then he cleaned my cheeks.

Together we left the room. Anthy was inspecting the car with Pyry. She gave Pierre a last kiss and hug before he put the helmet on, and I grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"I love you, girls"

"We too" Anthy said happily.

The race was rainy. I spent the whole time tapping my foot on the floor. The anxiety was growing on my chest. Pierre was doing good, but other drivers had problems with the water. Anthy was watching the race, laughing and cheering for her dad when an Alpha Tauri appeared on the screen. Sometimes it was Yuki, but she was happy.

When Pierre crossed the finish line, all the wait in my shoulders fell. Pyry looked at me and smiled. "He keeps his promises."

I nodded.

"Baby, let's get your coat. You can go with uncle Pyry to look for him"

Pyry gave me a sad look that I didn't understood. I wanted to go, but I was just his daughter's mother and the press had already seen too much about us. I knew there were rumors, people talking about us and I didn't want more.

I waited on his driver's room for a long hour, checking my phone and reading how Antoinette Gasly was the centre of attention of the whole paddock. She had done press with her dad, telling them he was the best but uncle Charles drove fast fast and won. She had taken pictures with other drivers who were so in love with the little girl. And Pierre was the happiest, forgetting about the sour feeling this circuit gave him.

And when they came back, she was way too excited, like if she had a sugar overthose. Pierre was carrying her on his arms, the little girl hanging like a koala on his side.

"Hey..." Pierre said in a sweet tone. "You could have come too"

"Nah, it's okay." I said looking at him with a smile. "Did you had fun, little thing??"

"Yes!"

"She met Charles, Seb, Lando, Danny... She saw a lot of her friends today, right Anthy?" Pierre asked her.

"Charles won!"

"And which place did Papa finished?"

"Sefen"

I laughed

"Seven. Papa finished seven. Because you gave him the biggest good luck hug."

"My lucky charm, eh?"

Pierre looked at me with a smile. He was so beautiful, so precious. He was the perfect man, the best one to be my kid's father. I couldn't have asked for better. It was perfect.

"She is"

"You want to come to more races?" Pierre said tickling her belly.

"Yes!"

Pierre looked at me then.

"And you?"

My smiled faded.

"Me?"

"I can't only have Anthy here with me. We had a lot of fun this weekend, right? The three of us" He whispered the last part and walked closer to me.

I nodded a bit.

"I loved having you here"

"I-I will come, then"

"Thank you"

He hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"I will go and change and then we can go to the hotel and have dinner with Charles and Yuki. Okay?"

Anthy nodded excited.

While Pierre showered and got fresh clothes, Anthy sat next to me playing with her little Alpha Tauri. It made me think. How would it be if we were a family? A closed family? Pierre and I together. A house. Maybe a pet or two. Baby siblings for Anthy in the future...

"Maman"

"Yes, sweety"

"You love Papa?"

I frowned. What had gotten into her?

"Yes baby, a lot" I whispered putting some of her hair behind her ear.

"Papa too"

"What?"

"Papa too. He told me"

Pierre loved me? Was that what she meant?

The door opened and Anthy looked up surprised. She had her I have done something wrong face, so I supposed it was a secret. It made my heart beat fast.

Pierre was closing his shirt. He looked way too good.

"Are you ready to leave?"

We had dinner with Charles, Yuki and their trainers. Charlotte was there too. The couple couldn't stop playing with Anthy, who was growing more and more sleepier. Soon she started to yawn and looked at Pierre.

"You want too come here?"

She fell asleep on his chest. I took a photo for him, so he could add it to his photo dump. But without tell him, I put it also on my background.

When we were walking back to the room, we stayed in silence.

I opened the door and he got inside, carefully laying Anthy on the bed. Together we changed her into her pyjamas, putting care on not waking her up.

When I was covering her with the sheets, I felt a hand on my hair.

"Can we talk?" He said in the softest voice.

I looked up at him. He had a tiny smile but I was nervous anyway.

"Yes"

He took my hand hand carried me to the balcony. He leaned over the railing and grabbed both of my hands.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm okay. It hasn't been that bad. Not with both of you here."

I smiled a bit but gasped when he pulled me closer. I was standing between his legs now.

"P-Pierre"

"I want you to let me speak first, okay?"

I nodded.

"I have been thinking the whole weekend. I have seen other drivers and their families. They... They all look so so happy. And..."

"Aren't you happy?"

He laughed a bit and touched my cheek, cupping it softly. By instinct, I moved my cheek face closer and grabbed his waist. His touched felt like heaven.

"I know I could be happier."

Bitting my lip, I looked into his blue eyes.

"H-how?"

"With you by my side"

I felt all my strength leaving my body. Did he want me? Like I wanted him?

"If you don't feel the same, I will understand. But I need to tell you this because it has been going on for too long. After having you here all weekend I couldn't stop thinking about how things would be if we were more than friends and co-parents. I would love to give us a try. To go on dates and all of that. Not only as parents. I want Anthy to spend the night with my parents because I have taken you out on a date. I want to go back home to you and her, not no an empty apartment in Milan or your guest room."

Tears were already falling down my cheeks. Since the first time Pierre talked to the baby in my belly, I knew every other person in the world was ruined for me. He was the perfect guy for me, he was the love of my life. Anthy was right. He loved me.

"Yes"

He laughed happily.

"Yes what, Cherie? I didn't ask anything" He cupped my face with both hands.

"I want all of that with you. I love our life right now, I love what we have built around Antoinette, but I want more too. I need more. I can't let you go knowing you are only my kid's dad."

"You know that I have always been more than that, Cherie" He whispered on my lips.

I closed my eyes and kissed him. I have wanted to do it for so long. I have wanted to taste his mouth and feel his lips over mine. Huggin into him as if my life depend on it, I kissed him deeply. Finally.

"I have been waiting for so long" He whispered. "I have been in love with you since I knew you will give me a kid. You are so perfect, so strong, so beautiful"

"I love you so much, Pierre"

He pressed his forehead against mine and hugged me.

Our little moment was interrupted by loud Maman being shouted from inside.

"That little thing..." He said laughing.

"Let's go back to her." I whispered.

He leaned and gave me one last kiss.

"Let's go out and have dinner. Tomorrow or the following day. Let me take you out"

"Okay"

"I love you" He said.

"I love you too."

We kissed again and he grabbed my hand.

"Maman! Sleep"

"Yeah, yeah."

We both changed and laid with the impacient girl.

"Sleep, Papa. Good night"

"Good night baby"

"Maman. Good night"

She pulled my hand until it was over her and I was laying closer. Her little body radiated heat and it was the best feeling in the world.

"Sleep tight"

Pierre turned to his side.

"You made this whole weekend better. Thank you for coming, Cherie"

I looked at him and Pierre ran his fingers through my scalp. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Thank you for bringing me"

"You can come to all of them if you want."

I laughed a bit.

"Papa, shh"

Opening my eyes, I saw Anthy with her hand on his face. Her little body was turned to the side, her back on my chest and her hands on Pierre.

"Okay okay. Sorry. Good night, little thing"

I looked at him and smiled. I kissed her hair and grabbed Pierre's hand. I had everything I wanted now.

[mqverick]

you’re my best friend i’ll love you forever

(warnings: strong language, light smut, mentions of emotionally unstable past)

im sorry if there are any grammatical/vocabulary errors in this

————————————————————————

hope you don’t regret it

i pushed a lot back but i can’t forget it

he was perfectly fine and healthy, his family was lovely, he was satisfied with the grades he got at school, he was one of the best students in drama class, he graduated. everything was truly fine until he met that one damned girl from drama class. she was probably the friendliest person at school, always with a smile on her face, greeting everyone on her way. she had no right to have such a disarming smile. timothee… he saw her as that divine person he wasn’t even worthy to look upon. she rarely wore any makeup – which was sort of frustrating because according to his point of view, she didn’t even need it.

her hair was brunette and straight, curtain bangs covering her brown eyes most of the times. she didn’t have any freckles, but he could’ve sworn she had some sort of permanent faint blush on her cheeks that brought out the color of her full pink lips that were always covered with a light base of chapstick. in fact, timothee had stolen one of her peach-flavored chapsticks once, just to keep it to himself, wear it on sometimes only to pretend that he was given the chance to finally get to see how her soft lips would taste against his. call it mad, but he’d promised to himself that he’d never let go of that chapstick.

his first encounter with her was during freshman year at high school, somewhere in the hallways.

he remembered everything; how he’d accidentally bumped to the girl, who had so kindly offered her help to bring him back to his feet and catch the flying papers for his ad statistics class. being too dumbfounded from her manners and appearance, he’d just stood there, mouth agape, hand nervously tugging at the hairs on the nape of his neck as he’d challenged himself to blurt out at least two proper words at her, which of course, he’d failed. she’d only chuckled slightly at his awkwardness before mumbling a cheery ‘see you around!’, leaving him frozen in the middle of the corridor.

timothee recalled having performing a small talk in front of his mirror for two weeks before he finally worked up the courage to tap on her back and smile at her. when her head turned around to see who was it, her hair brushed against his hand, and out of the blue, all of the french and english alphabet died down in his throat as his perfectly normal and human smile turned into a very cheeky and clumsy one. he was sure that within several minutes, there would be sweat marks under the armpits on his shirt. after about fifty seconds of torturous silence, he uttered a quite shaky hi, to which she very tenderly responded, her hand landing on his arm as she affectionately ran it up and down its length to break the tension, but little did she knew that she’d only worsened the situation.

it took them three days to get close.

they started hanging out after drama classes, always sitting together, working their lines, meeting up after school, going to the movies, cooking dinner for each other, spending nights together, staying at each other’s place, etc. at first, it was hard for Timothee to actually believe that not only had he manged to talk to the girl that got him so flustered, but end up being best friends with her, but after a few months, he got pretty much used to it.

her nicknames for him were plenty; tim, timmy, timo – but even teasing ones, like, lil timmy tim and two inches proud. she rarely called him by his full name; only when she was mad or wanted to talk to him about something really serious and important.

their friendship was something he cherished. truthfully, at first he was so afraid of being himself only because he was worried he would do something stupid and ruin everything, thing that didn’t go unnoticed by her. as they were binge watching ‘the office’ at her house once, she’d questioned his strange behavior, which ended up in a long, late night discussion. that night nothing but the truth was told. well… partly. timothee faintly remembered himself falling asleep at some point, waking up with his arms wrapped around her warm body, his legs tangled with hers as she snored quietly, still asleep.

it was funny how his heart seemed to be in the mood to beat as if he’d run a 26.2 miles marathon at seven o’clock in the morning. what was even more hilarious was the fact that he’d sweated over his desperate attempts to untangle himself from her and force his mind to think about anything, literally anything gross, otherwise she would wake up to the feeling of his boner poking her thigh.

all in all, he was pretty much fucked.

we never got the credit

nobody seemed to hear us but we said it

he knew he was in love with her on their first getaway vacation together in paris. they were seventeen, nearing eighteen, and it was a warm august evening with them taking walks at the trocadéro, ice cream cones in their hands as they admired the view of the eiffel tower. she’d suggested going up in the tower, watch the sunset with him and then have dinner at the nearest bistro while watching the eiffel tower light up with thousands of sparkly leds that would make it shine brighter than the stars in the sky. being unable to ever say no to her, timothee was keen on the idea, so they did exactly as she’d said. whilst they were admiring paris’s beauty from the tower, he felt her thumb brushing against his cheek, the outline of his lips and eventually landing on his upper lip. his mouth had parted almost too quickly, which was quite embarrassing, but he seemed to have no control over his body whenever she was around.

“ice cream,” was all she’d given as an explanation, licking her index finger slowly enough to make him want to groan – and he was worried that if she kept being so damn intimate with him, he would soon come in his pants with not the slightest hint of a warning.

that same night, they’d chosen some place called ‘bistrot paul chene’ to have dinner at. timothee wasn’t really hungry, but seeing as it broke him to ever not fulfill any of her favors, he ended up having a small salad and a water, while she’d ordered half of the catalog along with red wine, which pretty much got her drunk immediately. the combination of cinq verres de vin and at least three portions of chicken fillet with vegetables had her throwing up all night in their hotel’s room, timothee holding her hair and rubbing small circles on her back to help her relax.

despite the intense, stinking smell of puke that surrounded her that night, timothee dragged her all the way to the small bedroom, changed her clothes into some clean of his own, laid her in bed, covered her carefully with a blanket, kissed the outline of her hair and let himself linger on the foot of the bed, making sure she would sleep peacefully.

to his surprise, while he was just about to get up from the bed and occupy the couch – which apparently was the only place he could nap at – he heard her softly murmuring his name, so he froze instantly and turned around to check on her, her eyes still closed, but her lips were moving as though she was trying to utter a sentence out, but was unable to.

“everything all right? do you want me to stay a little longer?” he’d asked.

“i love you, timmy,” she’d mumbled, half-asleep, a smile plastered on her face, and within the following few minutes, soft snores of her own were echoing in the small room as timothee tried to get himself to react to her confession. he'd felt a literal roller coaster of emotions; euphoria, vulnerability, fear, back to overwhelming joy. his heart thrummed violently against his rib cage, threatening to pop out of his chest as a newfound warmness ran through his entire body.

he knew. he knew he’d hopelessly fallen for her in a heartbeat, knew he’d been feeling that way ever since his eye first-caught the glimpse of her form wandering around the halls of their high school. knew she felt like his home, knew he would always protect her because he could not stand the thought of her hurting, knew her happiness and welfare would always be above his own. he’d loved her with her positives and her flaws – in fact, it were her flaws that made him love her even more. in other words, he felt like floating every time they were together, which was simultaneously good and bad.

“i love you too,” he’d answered after a total of five minutes of silence and processing.

little did she know that the kind of love he felt for her didn’t quite match hers.

neither of us planned it

and for a long time I took it all for granted

their first fight occurred during the end of their junior year in high school. he’d never felt so bad in his life – hell, he couldn’t even believe how he’d brought himself to act so rude to her. the key word to his abrupt mood swing was jealousy. a very ugly feeling he couldn’t avoid when she started her relationship with her very first boyfriend – some foreign student from a students exchange program. he was polish or from the netherlands, or at least timothee remembered so.

it’d started on a cozy december evening at his place, while the two of them were watching a cliché christmas movie on the tv. she’d asked timothee if he wanted to hang out the following day after school, and if her boyfriend could perhaps come along, thing that had blinded any sign of logical thinking in his head – completely. he’d thrown several bitter comments such as ‘oh, him again’, ‘of course you’re wondering whether he can come along’, ‘do you ever do anything without him for a change?’. she’d been taken aback from his sudden behavior, had attempted to search for the source that released all those copious amounts of antipathy.

“you don’t like my boyfriend?” she’d asked, perplexed.

“it’s not that… i guess he’s just not my favorite person in the planet.”

the sarcastic tone in his voice was what had hurt her the most. never in a million years had she imagined that he’d ever be sarcastic with her, not when he knew that sarcasm was the thing she hated the most after being lied to. “oh my god, i can’t believe this!”

“yeah, well, sorry that not all of us can tolerate his attempt to speak with an american accent. have you ever heard him? he sounds as though he has pneumonia.”

“shut up! do you even hear yourself? you’re acting like a five-year-old! i literally met my boyfriend to my parents seven days after we began dating, but it took me two whole weeks to meet him to you. it’s not like i didn’t care about their approval, but your opinion meant everything to me, and i was so fucking nervous to introduce him to you because i wanted you to like him so bad. and when the two of you finally met and my boyfriend called to tell me how much he’d liked you, i assumed that it went well… but now you’re telling me that it didn’t. it just didn’t but you didn’t fucking think of telling me that for which reasons again?” she’d asked, her voice raising as she’d tried to wrap her mind around the fact that she’d also been lied to.

“when you say it like that it sounds kind of bad.”

“that’s because it is! it is bad, timothee, very bad.”

“it’s not my fault he’s stupid!” he’d raised his voice at her for the very first time in his life that night, and she’d flinched slightly. “i don’t think your boyfriend knows the meaning of dumbass that well.”

“hold up… what?”

it’d been one of those ‘uh oh’ moments for him. “hey, no, no, i’m sorry, i–”

“so not only don’t you like him, but you talked shit about him… in front of him?”

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to–”

“shut up, timothee, there’s no room for excuses now. i think i should get going,” she’d stated before grabbing her coat from the couch, heading to the door, where she stopped momentarily to call out his name. “i think we should stay separate this week.”

his face had dropped in shock, tears had welled in his eyes. “are you saying you don’t want our friendship anymore? please – i’m sorry – i’ll try to like him if that’s what you want–”

“i’m going to force you into being fond of him, tim. all i’m saying is that i'm giving you some time to think, as well as me. i don’t want us quarreling and i think some distance will help us.”

after she’d left, pauline, timothee’s sister, had come downstairs to check if everything was all right, since she’d heard the yelling and shouting from her room. the moment timothee had seen, his knees had buckled and he’d collapsed in her, bawling uncontrollably as he kept muttering to himself how much of an idiot he was. despite the fact that she kept her promise and began hanging out with him again after a week had passed, he felt even more fragile than before, simply for the reason that he’d come just a breath away from losing her and the thought of that was utterly terrifying.

i really thought we had it

but at the time it was more than i could manage, so

he didn’t know how he’d managed.

if timothee thought that a week-lasting argument with her had neared the end of the world, then when he got his heart broken by her for the very first time, it’d felt like the earth had split in two and burst in flames. it wasn’t intentional or anything, it wasn’t even something that should have bothered him that much, but it was valentine’s day and…

… well, he’d proposed that brilliant idea, that plan to confess everything as her secret admirer, to write her a card that would pour his heart out, and afterwards, after gauging her reaction, to tell her that he’d sent it – with candy, of course, not flowers; he knew how strong her sweet tooth was.

he’d spent nearly an entire week of sleepless nights full of discarded drafts before he’d finally found what he’d wanted to say, before he’d had the right words, and it’d been just in time for valentine’s day.

and then the following day at school he’d seen her with the boy she’d been talking to in their english class, and he’d had his hands around her waist and their lips had been nearly touching, and it’d felt like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest and pummeled it with a sledgehammer.

he’d almost considered going to the nurse, claiming he’d been feeling nauseous (which hadn’t really been a lie) and asking if he could leave school early. instead he’d stayed, just never sent the card – he’d shoved it into his bag as though it had personally offended him and headed off to class.

he hadn’t known why, but he’d waited until he’d arrived home to tear the card in two and throw away the remains, and for the rest of the night he hadn’t left his room, claimed that he had some big test he’d needed to study for. that lie hadn’t gone unnoticed by her, who’d come to the chalamet household a couple of days later, turning the lights on to his room, finding him tucked under his covers, the hood of his favorite grey hoodie on top of his head, tears steaming down his cheeks.

she’d felt her heart sink to her stomach.

when his glossy green eyes had found hers, he’d slightly gotten up, attempting to sniffle a few sobs out of the way as his sleeved hand had come up to wipe off the tears that had pricked in the corners of his eyes. she hadn’t hesitated a moment before coming to the bed, wrapping her arms around his frame, which had resulted into him hugging her tightly without a warning, sobbing loudly against her shoulder, gripping onto her sweatshirt for dear life. she’d pulled down the grey hood in order to massage his scalp with one hand, murmuring sweet nonsense against the shell of his ear, not even once bothering to ask what had saddened him so. she’d known that he’d tell her whenever he felt ready.

which pretty much, never happened.

wish i didn’t doubt it

i wish i never ever told you all about it

they were eighteen and freshly graduated from high school when timothee finally confessed his feelings for her. the experience had been much more traumatizing and heartbreaking than he’d imagined – even now, at his twenty-four, he regretted telling her, he wished he could’ve just kept it to himself and save both of them from…

nicole and marc, timothee’s parents, had been so proud of their graduation that they’d decided to gift them a three-day trip to italy, just for their son and her. it was a day before their departure, she was alone at her small apartment (which she shared with her roommate), packing her suitcase for the trip.

he didn’t know how he’d thought that confessing his love for her a day before their big trip would be the greatest and most fitting moment, but he’d grown tired of having to act in real life too, so after several performances in front of his mirror and pauline, he’d come to her apartment, raising his hand to knock on her door. it’d taken him a few minutes to talk himself out from backing away the last minute.

you’re going to hate yourself if you don’t do this now. talk to her. rejection is something that’ll hurt at first, sure, but you’re going to deal with it. you’ll deal with it, he’d thought, finally letting his hand ball into a fist and knock softly on her door. not even a minute later, she’d opened it with a gigantic grin, some of which he recognized to be his sweaters in her hands.

“hey, timo, what a surprise! come help me pack,” she’d said cheerfully, and he’d faked a smile.

“before we do anything, do you think we could go to your room first? i want to talk to you about something quite important that i feel i need to get out of my chest.”

“sure, but you’re sort of scaring me,” she’d replied with a chuckle, leading him in her room as she’d thrown his sweaters in her suitcase, clapping her hands in satisfaction. she’d sat herself on the foot of her bed, patting the spot next to her for him to sit down, which he’d hesitantly done. he’d looked as though he’d been on the verge of crying, which hadn’t gone unnoticed by her, her hands instantly flying up to his face to graze gentle circling-patterns on his cheeks for comfort.

“i just want to say that i hope this decision of mine won’t cost you from my life,” he’d begun, placing his hands on top of hers and bringing them down on his lap, their fingers interlocked as his thumbs pressed softly on the back of her palms. she’d raised her eyebrow at him worriedly, her reassurance that nothing in a million years could cause the end of their friendship coming quick from her lips.

“timmy, what’s wrong? has something happened – are you alright?”

“i don’t know, it’s just…” he’d trailed off, giving himself the chance to chicken out and change the topic in something entirely different, but – “you’re everything. you’re my best friend, the kindest person i’ve ever met, it’s honestly sort of annoying that i personally can’t find a sign of imperfection in you, because even things that about you that you or others consider as flaws – they’re not flaws to me. i wish i could put into words how i feel about you, but that would be impossible because the english vocabulary hasn’t got half as many words as i could use to describe you. beautiful, amazing, caring, i could honestly go on for years…”

“aw, tim, that’s so sweet,” she’d beamed, completely unaware of what he’d been trying to say.

“… i never considered myself to be capable to love someone that much, but you came into my life and proved me wrong for once again. you’ve made me such a better person and i’ll be forever grateful for that. i love you. i’ll never grow tired of telling you how much i love you,” at that moment, he’d started collecting tears in the corners of his eyes, trying hard to keep them back from steaming down his cheeks. “and the reason why it’s hurting me so much is because i know you’ll never love me back.”

“what are you talking about? i do love you back, stupid!”

“nope, not in that way.”

there. he’d said it, he’d finally said it. there was no such thing as relief from finally letting it out.

if anything, it’d just hurt him more than it’d been all those years. the shocked look of eventual realization on her face had crushed his heart because he’d known what was coming. he’d known he’d lost her for good, he’d known she’d been just a minute away from breaking them up as friends. he’d known the whole thing had been pointless and stupid, he’d known that even if he kept saying to himself that he wished he could erase that moment from his head, he’d never truly do it, because he couldn’t regret it, no matter how much he tried to get himself to do so.

“what?”

“i’m in love with you. have been for years, i’m so fucking sorry for not having told you earlier. it was selfish and stupid and i tried to fall out of love with you, but i just couldn’t and–”

“i can’t do this,” she’d gotten up from the bed, her hands running through her hair as she’d impatiently urged timothee to get up as well, leading him to the living room, close to where the door was.

“no, listen, i’m not forcing you into loving me back or anything, i can deal with rejection, i swear to God i can! don’t make me go, please. i’ll give you as much time as you need, but don’t just erase me from your life, it will break me.”

“i’m not in the place… this isn’t… could you just… give me some time? to think?”

“of course,” he’d replied, heading to the door, a million thoughts running through his head as he tried to process the fact that he’d just ruined the only good thing in his life. “just tell me that i haven’t lost you. was it pointless? confessing my love to you? did i gross you out?” he’d asked a moment before walking out of the apartment, tears running on his cheeks, eyes red and stingy.

her response wasn’t immediate as always. he’d known. he’d known what her true answer had been regardless the fact she hadn’t given it to him.

“i don’t know.”

but i just had to let you know

i never meant to hurt you, though

ever since his love confession to her, she hadn’t exchanged a single word with him. she’d ignored all of his texts and calls, had left him waiting at the airport alone (not that he’d expected her to come anyway), crying in front of so many people, his suitcase long forgotten next to him as he’d curled up in a fetal position on his seat, trying to maintain his sobs and the unbearable pain he’d felt.

it was pauline who’d come to find him in that position, alarmed something bad had happened.

they’d gone to italy together, but he’d never even once considered getting out of the hotel, exploring the city, or even eating his feelings away. he’d just stayed in his bed for three days straight, not nearing a plate of food. his eyes had grown tired of crying, yet the tears seemed countless.

he’d lost her over nothing. his best friend, the love of his life. over nothing and everything.

he’d learned from a mutual friend of hers that she’d even changed her college application.

just so that she wouldn’t even have to face him ever again in his life. right when he’d made the decision to get his shit together, he’d found out about that and he’d come so close to depression that his parents had to find him a psychologist to talk to. timothee missed her like crazy in college. her contact was still saved in his phone and he’d spent countless nights looking at it, wondering whether he should’ve called her or not. she made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want you, so stop torturing yourself, his inner voice said every time. you just had to fall in love with your best friend. stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid–

it’s pointless, stop it.

and with that being his last thought almost every night for two months straight, he fell asleep and waited for the next morning to rise, knowing very well that the love of his life was probably living her life as she should be, hanging out with friends, making out with boyfriends, having forgotten about him, which was fine, because that was how a normal person should’ve moved on. instead of him.

i had all my motives

i didn’t know they wouldn’t mix with your emotions

it happened on a cold morning during mid-february. timothee had finished the shootings for ‘little women’ and he’d come back to new york for a couple of days. he was casually hanging out at his favorite bagel shop, when he saw her. she was waiting in the queue, tapping her foot impatiently and checking her clock every three seconds. though it was creepy from his side to act like that, it was as though his heart had stopped momentarily, his eyes staring at her in disbelief.

it had been five years.

his thoughts got interrupted by something hot splashing on his shirt, pouring all the way down to his trousers. “ugh, fuck!” a familiar voice called in frustration, placing her half-empty cup of coffee to the table where timothee was sitting as she grabbed as many napkins as she could and began wiping his shirt neurotically. “fuck, i’m so sorry, it was an accident and this dumbass fell on me, and – timmy?”

ah, yes, one of her many nicknames for him. no matter how long it’d been ever since he heard that nickname falling out of her lips, it never failed to make his heart flutter. her eyes where blown in shock as he gazed up at her, awe-struck, as if there wasn’t any scorching coffee all over his clothes.

finally regaining his consciousness, he grabbed some of the napkins she was holding and wiped his sweater. her mouth was still agape and she seemed unable to move – had he killed her?

“hey! oh my god, it’s been so long,” he beamed with the best smile he could muster, getting up from his seat and helping her with her coffee. “how’s life? we haven’t talked for ages.”

“i…” she trailed off, not knowing what to say. she glanced down at his coffee-covered clothes for a second and slapped her forehead with the back of her palm. “i’m doing good, yeah. hey, since i’ve probably ruined your amazing outfit, would you like to come over to my place? i mean, you can’t walk around the city like that and it’d also be a nice chance to catch up, right?” she offered, receiving the brightest and truest grin he’d smiled those past five years.

find an excuse and refuse kindly.

she broke you.

you’re doing it again, you’re letting her break you.

RUN OUT OF THAT PLACE IMMEDIATELY.

don’t do this to yourself.

say something came up.

don’t–

“i would absolutely love that.”

i just had to reach my goals

never knew i’d meet you though, so

they arrived at her apartment quicker than he thought. it was quite close to the bagel shop, meaning basically no one on the way stopped him for any autographs or photos, which was pretty much a blessing sent by god since it would’ve been mortifying if anyone noticed the huge coffee stains on his clothes. she hurriedly opened the door and let him in, showing him around the living room and telling him to hang on there for a second.

“wait, how am i supposed to change, though? i’m not sure your clothes will fit me,” timothee said.

“yeah, i don’t think that’d be a problem, since…” she blushed a deep crimson color and fiddled with the hem of her blouse. “… i still have some of your sweaters and sweatpants.”

“oh,” was all he muttered. flashbacks from that one day came into his mind, his heart twisting in a comb – was it too hot in the room? how was he supposed to react? what could he say? discomfort was evident in both of their faces as they avoided eye contact with each other.

“um, i’m just gonna fetch you a sweater and some cleans pants, hold up,” she said after a moment, thankfully being the bravest one and breaking that super loud silence. she came back in the living room, holding a black sweater and a pair of grey sweatpants of his. timothee let his mind wonder how many times she’d slept wearing his clothes, thing that was sort of unhealthy due to… well.

he smiled and thanked her kindly, heading into her bathroom as he got changed.

she, on the other hand, went into her room and immediately opened the sliding glass door which led to the balcony patio. a strong gush of wind was blown into the room, and she felt her hair rise and fall to the rhythm of the elevated breeze. she leaned down, resting her arms on the railing and taking in the view of the neighborhood. from behind her, she heard the door slowly creak open, however didn’t bother to turn around and see who it was. timmy silently came up next to her, also resting his arms on the balcony’s railing. rather than looking down and admiring the view of the small neighborhood, he just started straight ahead. he slowly turned his head, an action that she mirrored until their eyes met.

“i was nothing but a complete ass to you that day, tim,” she said after letting out a deep, loud sigh. “i should’ve talked to you, i shouldn’t have acted the way i did. i can imagine how heartbreaking it must’ve been for you to just wait and wait for any response of mine only to find out that you weren’t getting one. actually, no, i can’t imagine how painful that must’ve been because i’d be a hypocrite if i said i did. you deserved so much better than me, i was a terrible friend,” she continued, tears brimming in her eyes as her gaze dropped down at her shoes, too ashamed to look him in the eye.

timmy opened his mouth to say something, but the words died down in his throat as he did so. he remembered how hard he’d cried, how he’d lost his appetite for fucking weeks – she’d broken him.

“it’s fine, it wasn’t your fault.”

“no, it was, stop saying it wasn’t,” she said a little louder. “i fucking transferred! i didn’t go to the college of my dreams because i thought it’d be too hard to see you in the hallways – who the fuck does that? name a decent person that does that and then i’ll agree with you; that it wasn’t my fault. oh, sweet little me, everybody loves me,” she mocked herself, wiggling her hands in the air, “if only they knew how selfish i’ve been, how unfair. you didn’t deserve to be treated the way i treated you.”

letting out a loud breath, he walked up behind her, wrapping his woolen jacket (that wasn’t coffee-stained) around her shoulders, giving her a back hug. he wrapped his arms around her stomach from behind, and rested his chin on her shoulder as she placed her hands on his.

“i haven’t stopped thinking about that day, timmy,” she murmured softly against his cheek. he sighed and she turned around, breaking away from the warmth that engulfed her, instantly regretting it.

“that exaggeration that everyone talks about; the feeling of your heart getting stabbed repeatedly with a shard of glass when someone doesn’t reciprocate your emotions… i felt that,” timothee began after a minute, his hands still holding hers. “you imagined a potential with someone, you put your heart on your sleeve, only for them to break it in pieces. i’m not going to lie to you since that’s not what you want. it was painful, alright? it felt as though my world was falling apart, and every fiber of my being was torn to shreds along with it. i cried for months, didn’t eat properly, i missed classes. i couldn’t stop thinking about the way you’d just asked me to leave. i didn’t want you to feel the same way, i would never force anyone into falling in love with me just so that i wouldn’t feel heartbroken, but man, i imagined yelling, throwing stuff or just sitting shook on the couch, not being able to utter the slightest hint of a sentence, but not even saying a single word to me for five years?”

he’d started tearing up at that point.

“five whole years, i kept waiting for your text or your call – or just anything that would signal your existence in this planet. i’ve never loved anyone half as much as i’ve loved you.”

“i was ashamed to talk to you,” she admitted after a moment. “so ridiculously ashamed. like, what could’ve i said to you? oh, hey, timothee, it’s me, the girl that left you like that! chile, anyway so, do you want to grab a coffee with me? i feel terrible for breaking your heart, by the way. believe me, there hasn’t been a day i haven’t thought about you. when i lost you, i lost a part of me, too. i lost the part of me that was motivating me to be a better person.” her grip tightened and she brought his hands to her lips, pressing a surprisingly soft kiss on his knuckles. “i’m so sorry, timmy. really, i could spend years apologizing to you and it wouldn’t just heal the wound i created.”

“do you think we could, like… i don’t know, have a fresh start or something? i know i’d love that,” timothee suggested out of the blue, her eyes shooting up to hold his gaze for a seconds as she nodded vigorously in response, a smile of relief breaking on her face; she was glowing. not being able to resist himself, he mirrored her smile and nodded as well, wrapping his arms around her waist tightly.

“i missed you so much, timmy,” she said against his shoulder, her voice coming out muffled.

“i missed you even more.”

“so, should we meet up tomorrow? bagel shop? or dinner? or movie at my place?”

“what about bagel takeout from the best bagel place in the world and movie at my place at 7?”

“it’s a date,” she smiled an ear-to-ear grin, which made his heart flutter and skip a beat.

“it’s a date.”

we should stick together

you’re my best friend, i’ll love you forever (would you come with me?)

they were sitting on the couch, eating their cream cheese bagels while watching a movie timmy had chosen – one that he recalled having watched with her the time they had their first sleepover at his house. he tried hard to focus on the tv and not think about how close to him she was, practically snuggled up against his chest, her hands resting on his lap as they knees were touching.

“this feels so great, timo,” she said at some point, looking up at him with a sweet smile.

“couldn’t agree more,” he replied, leaning down to peck her hair. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to–”

“shush you, it’s okay.”

butterflies erupted in his stomach as he attempted to scooch her back on her side of the couch, claiming he needed some water, and oh how he’d so simply returned to his teenage years, where he would just pop a boner out of anything. don’t, don’t, don’t, he mentally hissed at himself, wanting to prevent the mortification of getting hard in front of her.

“timmy, you’re missing the best part!” she called from the living room, her head slightly hanging from the cushions as she motioned him to get back on the couch. “and i’m missing my pillow.”

“looks like i never stopped being your pillow after all,” he laughed.

“mm, no boyfriend of mine could replace you.”

oh.

timmy’s stomach went into full butterfly mode. his face turned red and his heart began practicing the plop it would made when it would finally burst out of his chest. where was nicholas sparks to write his great love story? fuck hormones. he really wasn’t in the place to go back to fifteen.

“uh, sorry, i didn’t – this came out wrong. i didn’t mean for it to come out like that,” she stumbled after noticing the evident crimson on his cheeks and slight discomfort. timmy tried to reassure her that everything was fine – though it really wasn’t – and returned his attention to the movie on tv (but without knowing that neither of them were watching it anymore.)

“no, i mean, yeah, i know,” he stammered.

“can i ask you something? i need you to be honest with me, though.”

“of course.”

her eyes flickered down to his lips for a moment, and he had to think about rotten vegetables and spilled noodles in order to prevent himself for having a freaking cardiac arrest.

“that day… did you go to the airport? did you wait for me? be honest.”

hesitation. silence. both of those spoke louder than actual words. “yeah.”

“i knew so,” she whispered before giving him the warmest hug he’d received from someone in years. her arms snaked around his torso, her face buried in the crook of his neck, moving it to the side slightly to plant small, short pecks on his cheeks, one of her hands coming up to caress his curls. “i’m sorry.”

(it would get you so)

we could be the greatest, it doesn’t matter if we’re never rich or famous

“mr. laurie laurence, i respectfully bow,” she joked after ‘little women’ came to an end, the lights in the theater turning on as voices began filling the room. timmy had brought her with him to watch the premiere, which she’d so much loved. she’d even cried when jo rejected laurie’s proposal, though she’d already read the book and knew it was coming. she couldn’t help but admire timothee’s talent, how good he’d portrayed laurie. she’d even met saoirse ronan, the fucking legend.

“i take it as you liked it?” timmy asked with a playful smirk, nudging her shoulder.

“liked it? man, i absolutely adored it! you’re such a great actor, timo, i’m so freaking proud of you!” she squealed, giving him a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek. it’d been about two months since their friendship got renewed, which was both perfect and terrible, since he’d found himself falling in love with her all over. not that he’d ever really stopped loving her anyway.

“i’ve arranged a bagel meeting with saoirse at the usual place. wanna come along? i have a feeling you’re her new favorite bestie,” timmy chuckled as he pointed at saoirse still sitting on her chair, waving at the two of them with a huge grin plastered on her face.

“oh gosh, yes, that’d be amazing.”

not even twenty minutes later, she was sitting next to timothee in their booth as saoirse kept asking her questions about how he was as a teenager, if he had more rap songs than his biggest and most known bop ‘statistics’, and things like those. she also wanted to learn things about their friendship (such as how it’d started, etc.) which was sort of uncomfortable, since neither her or timmy wanted to tell her about the fact that she’d… well. avoiding and dodging a couple of her questions, she ended up telling her about each and every one of the school plays he did in high school. little did she know she was looking awe-struck whilst she passionately described to saoirse his acting performances, not missing a single detail. it even slipped from her mouth that she’d watched his ‘prodigal son’ play at manhattan, which had caught timmy by surprise.

“you came to ‘prodigal son’?” he asked, mouth slightly agape.

“couldn’t miss it for the world.”

“but it was three or four years ago.  thought… i thought we weren’t…”

“you weren’t what?” saoirse asked, sensing they’d been hiding something from her.

“nothing!” Timothee urged, not letting her speak as his hand landed on her knee, squeezing it tightly in order to stop her from saying anything. “nothing, it’s nothing important.”

“i specifically do not believe you, but it seems like neither of you are comfortable with discussing it, so i’ll drop it. for now,” Saoirse threatened with a wink, noticing that both her and timmy’s cheeks had turned into a light shade of pink as they awkwardly exchanged nervous glances.

“so, um, did you like it? the play?”

“yes, it was mesmerizing. your performance, it was…” she trailed off and it seemed as though she’d let her mind wander to something else momentarily, “… it was stunning. you have a freaking gift, tim, your acting skills are truly inspiring. i’m so, so proud of you, my beautiful boy,” she said sweetly, cupping his cheeks with her hands and giving him a forehead kiss that nearly caused him to choke on his own damn saliva.

“you guys seem like you really love each other,” saoirse commented with a smirk.

“stop it, saoirse, you’re not playing it matchmaker today!” timothee hissed at her, only earning a chuckle from his friend that wiggled her eyebrows smugly. “this is so embarrassing, i’m sorry about her, she can be like that sometimes.”

“it’s fine, it’s not even embarrassing, don’t worry.”

high all the time, high all the time

i wanna be high all the time

Would you come with me?

five months had passed ever since they went back to being best friends. they were spending their evening together at timmy’s place, he’d cooked pizza and some sort of burnt chocolate cake that thankfully was kinda eatable. it was his first attempt into trying to cook dinner for someone, so he ended up getting nervous and almost lighted his house on fire – but it was worth everything once he saw the amused expression on her face, that giant smile of hers that had the power to make his day in a heartbeat, and of course, the bombardment of kisses he received from her.

“man, the sixteen-year-old inside me is screaming right now,” she said enthusiastically, bearing with eating some of the cake just so that she wouldn’t make him sad. “also, this thing tastes better than it looks like, i promise.”

“mmm, you might as well quit lying, i tried it myself a few minutes ago and gagged.”

“i swear, timmy, it’s not that terrible!” she laughed, slapping his shoulder playfully.

“whatever you say,” he replied, slapping her back. “so, um, why is the sixteen-year-old inside you screaming?”

“because of this,” she pointed at the food, “you, us.”

timothee’s heartbeat quickened and he looked down, letting out a weak chuckle. how ironic…

“why did you keep my clothes?”

the question slipped his mouth and she stopped chewing on the cake, frozen. her eyes traveled up and scanned his for a second. she gulped and shrugged her shoulder, clicking her tongue. “i don’t know, i guess it was the only thing remaining from you. some of your sweaters still smell like you, which sounds weird and creepy. i have this black one of yours that has mickey mouse faces all over it, it’s adorable. you were wearing it when we went to paris, when we went to the louvre. sometimes i still like to wear your clothes because they give me those feels of warmth and comfort. plus, i’ve cried endless nights on them, so they’re now my property. don’t even consider trying to get them back.”

at that point, his heart had leapt out of his chest.

he didn’t even know what to say, how to reply to her – the english vocabulary seemed way too poor to describe what he felt for once more. though it was seemingly unhealthy for him to think like that, he couldn’t help that tiny amount of hope that had formed into him, hope that there was still another chance to… no.

“stop eating that cake, you’re gonna get sick,” was all he said, reaching to grab the fork from her hands as she continued to stuff her mouth with the burnt dessert. she shook her head negatively and proceeded to get the fork back from him.

“i want to go to the living room,” she said, gulping down the last piece of the cake victoriously.

“watch a movie with me?”

“no, i just wanna go to the living room.”

“okay…” timmy replied with uncertainty. the two of them got up from their seats and sat themselves on the couch, where she crawled to timmy’s side, arms wrapped around his waist, her head placed on his chest (she could hear how fast his heart was beating against her ear, which made her smile a little). he was hesitant at holding her, his whole body stiff, arms glued to his sides.

“hug me back, tim, i don’t bite.”

he did as she said, all the worries and fears disappearing the moment he let himself inhale the intoxicating smell of her rose oil and peach shampoo that nearly drove him to the edge. he let his eyes close for a few seconds, daydream about how his seventeen-year-old self would have gotten a hard-on instantly if something like that had happened a few years ago.

“are you smelling my hair?” she asked, making him freeze, mortified.

“i…”

“didn’t mean for it to come out like that, it’s okay, you can smell my hair.”

she snuggled even closer to his chest and raised her chin up to look at him. her beautiful eyes caught his gaze. she muttered a soft ‘timmy’, it came out like a whisper, but she noticed that his ears perked up, biting the inside of his lip. he stared at her for a second, before turning towards the ceiling and then back to her. his eyes flickered down to her lips, and she felt her heart jump into her throat. though it was only for a brief second, it was obvious enough for her to understand what he wanted.

“i like it when you call me that,” he spoke after a moment. timothee shifted a little, leaning towards her, his thumb grazing against her neck. her eyes closed, the rest of her senses heightened as his nose brushed against hers, then his forehead. neither of them knew how they got there exactly, but it wasn’t like they cared anyway. her hands came up to the back of his neck, almost playing with his curls, and there was a moment where he leaned in, their lips almost touching. he was chewing on his bottom lip like he was holding himself back, but then he just closed his eyes and buried his face on the crook of her neck.

“timothee hal chalamet,” she said sternly, her hands cupping his cheeks and bringing his face back to its previous position, his breath was feathery against her lips, and she sighed longingly, leaning in closer. all rational thought was gone, all that mattered was timothee, his eyes, his mouth, the way he was looking at her like he had never wanted anything as much as he wanted to kiss her.

leaning in closer, the smell of him surrounding her, she placed a very soft kiss to his lips, closing her eyes again and putting her hand on his face. he slid one hand slowly up her thigh, pressing closer and applying more pressure to her mouth. they stayed still for a few seconds, breathing each other in before begging to move. he kissed her slowly, so very slowly, his movements tentative and full of desire. his other hand encircled her waist to tug her closer, and she sighed against his mouth. timmy shuddered at the sound he made, pulling away from the kiss, staring at her, his lips damp with saliva.

“mmm, wait, wait, hold up,” he groaned, eyes still closed as he cupped her cheeks, bringing her back to his eye level. “what’s happening? what are we doing?”

she scanned his gaze for a second and tilted her head to the side. “okay, here goes nothing,” she took a deep breath and caressed his cheek as timothee leaned into her touch. “i’m in love with you, timmy. i think i’ve always loved you, i was just too scared to admit it to myself or something, which is not an excuse, and i’m a fucking piece of shit, honestly. when you said you loved me, it rocked my world. i was too shook and pushed you away, so… i don’t think i deserve you. at all.”

“hey, no, don’t say that,” he cut her off softly, running his fingers through her hair.

“it’s true, though, you deserve so much better than me.”

“you,” he squished her cheeks together, her lips now looking as though they were posing for a duck face photo, and gave her a quick kiss. “i never stopped loving you. and don’t put yourself down like that, you may have broken my heart once, but that belongs to the past. i want you to be my boyfriend and i’ll be your girlfriend – shit, no, i didn’t say that right – i want us to be in a relationship. i love you so much and it’d mean the world to me if you let me be your boyfriend.”

she chuckled and kissed him forcefully and with purpose this time. he kissed her back eagerly, daring her to take it further. she groaned, unable to hold it back, and slipped her tongue slowly into his mouth. the two of them grew closer together as time seemed to fade away. before either of them knew it, timmy’s hand had traveled up her shirt, as hers was tugging at the hair on the nape of his neck.

both of them shared shaky breaths as he slowly curved his hand around her breast, his touch was as light as a feather, and she placed her hand on top of his, silently giving him the okay to feel her. soon enough, his hands were adorned on her hips, both of their lips already swollen from making out.

“i don’t know why this took me so damn long,” she whispered after breaking the kiss.

“but it’s finally happening,” timothee added with a smile.

“it is,” she kissed him again, just a small peck on the lips. “are you ever going to forgive me? truly?”

“in fact you haven’t noticed…” he murmured quietly against her neck, where he’d buried his head, peppering soft kisses at the length of it, “…i’ve forgiven you a long time ago.”

if you can just let me know if it’s okay

to call you when i’m lonely

FIN.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Curiosity Killed The Cat ~ LMH & LF [M] [Request]

WORD COUNT: 4.9K

PAIRING: Minho x Fem!Reader x Felix

GENRE: consensual smut, Hitman au, mentions of death, assisnation, bombings, blood, face riding, oral, threesome, M/F/M, after care, no protection

A/N: Please I had so much fun with this! I love writing AU’s so much!!! 🥺🥰💗 Hope this is okay for you my lovely little anon!

"If you don't stop tapping that pen I'm going to shove it so far down your neck you'll whistle when you breathe," Minho growled in Felix's direction as they sat together in an old beat-up car. All Felix had done for the last four hours was tap and click the pen over and over again deciding that he was single-handedly going to be the one driving force that made Minho want to quit his job.

"I don't see anything else to do," Felix countered as he stared back at his partner who simply glared at him before looking out of the window again. It was a stupid idea to stake out a university it looked suspicious that two men were waiting in a car outside but it was the bosses orders. Stake out the school and wait for the suspect to come out but it felt creepy. Although it was a university and most of the students were their age it was strange to them both.

"Have we actually seen him go in?" The truth was no one had seen the guy that they were after in almost seven months, he was good at hiding which was why he was nicknamed "The Chameleon," something Minho hated. Why give the bad guy a name it was only going to boost the ego even more. 

"He's supposedly acting as a student," Minho handed the folder over to Felix keeping his eyes on the door, the Chameleon could walk out right under your nose and no one would have an idea it was him. 

"Why a student? Surely it would be feeling for him to be a teacher," Felix flicked through the folder the guy was a serial bomber that his company had been after for years. He'd killed almost over 100 people with no remorse whatsoever. It was as if the guy was a robot, he didn't care who he hurt as long as he got what he wanted, not that anyone knew what that was. His clues were always so vague. One thing for sure, it wasn't money that he was after. 

The government had tried to pay him to stop the needless killings only for the guy to blow the bag up in the middle of the street. 

"Easier to hide...Won't be so obvious when things go missing around the school...The student we're looking at fits his usual MO." Minho sighed taking a deep breath and looking at Felix for the first time in an hour. It was beginning to worry him the closer the two of them got to catching the guy. Their job wasn't a simple catch him and arrest him, no, they were the last resort. Kill him on sight as soon as they know, without a shadow of a doubt that it's him. Assassins or as they were better known as now, Hitmen. 

"Transfers in the middle of the year, things from the science department go missing and then there's the-" Right as Minho was about to explain that there were constant fire drills the alarm began to blare out through the school. 

"Those," He mumbled staring back over at the double-doored exit from the school. There was no use sitting at the entrance when they knew he liked to hide from everyone, if he was the one doing this they needed to find him and quickly before anyone else got hurt. 

"Another drill?" You mumbled looking to your left to see your best friend Mina smirking at you, you rolled your eyes knowing why she was so happy. Thanks to the fire alarm she was going to get out of her final exam and pass it no matter what, 

"It wouldn't surprise me if you were the one pulling them," You mumbled sarcastically as you pulled your satchel over your shoulder, looking around for her so-called boyfriend. 

"What did you do? Get Farara to pull it?" You teased as you jabbed your elbow into her side, walking out into the courtyard and taking in a deep breath, 

"You need to relax, we've just finished exams and you're still studying," Mina rolled her eyes at you, it was always the same with her. She wanted you to let your hair down and relax while you wanted to focus on things that were important to you, like actually passing your course. 

"I have another two years to go, you're done. I'm just getting started." You reminded her as you looked around, you loved Mina with all of your heart but since meeting Farara she seemed to be getting in trouble more. Not only with the university but with the police. Just last week you'd been called down to the station to bail her out because she was caught driving around in a stolen car with enough products to set a whole house on fire. 

"Take a year off, come with me and Farara to England. He's going to take me away and spend time with his family." The more you heard about the guy the more worry began to grow inside of you. She'd hardly known him and yet she was planning to run away to a different country with him,

"What does he even do for a living? To get all of this money?" You questioned hoping she wouldn't get too annoyed with you asking her about him. It seemed as though whenever you asked questions she would get pissed at you, claiming that you were just trying to poke holes in their "relationship,"

"What does it matter?" She stared at you with a disgusted look on her face, 

"Hey, baby!" A voice cried out as a pair of strong-looking arms wrapped around Mina.

"Snuckums!" She practically squealed making you jump as she turned around and began making out with him grotesquely in front of everyone. 

"That's my cue to leave," You said loud enough for them to hear, turning to head home to your dorms when Mina grabbed your arm. 

"Party tonight. Come with us," She begged looking at you with pleading eyes, as you were about to decline Farara scoffed at the thought of it. 

"Y/n? At a party, don't make me laugh. She's the party pooper baby, she doesn't know how to have fun." For some reason, the anger bubbled up inside of you and it seemed to annoy you more. If Mina had been the one to say it it wouldn't have bothered you as much but from him, you wanted to prove him wrong. 

"I'll be there. Text me the details," You smiled smugly in his direction but he just seemed to smirk, it made you feel uneasy to see him smirking at you like that. 

"This will be great! A going-away party right baby!?" Mina squealed before making out with him once again.

After spending almost four hours trying to pick something to wear you finally felt ready to go and headed straight to the party. It was at the frat house Farara had been living in since he got to the university. The whole walk over from your dorms you could have sworn someone was following you along. 

"Glad you could join us, take this." Mina handed you a drink and then laid a flower necklace around you before disappearing into the house leaving you alone. 

The whole house seemed to be partying hard, loud music was blaring for different speakers each of which was playing a different song. People were already yelling and dancing drunkenly along the floor and not to mention someone throwing up in a flower pot. 

"You came pretty late, didn't think you were going to show," Farara smirked once he caught sight of you in the kitchen. You hummed before putting down the cup Mina had given to you, there was no way you were going to drink that night. Not unless it was water at least. You didn't know anyone besides Mina and she was clearly preoccupied with other things.

"We have juice boxes in the basement," Farara joked earning a laugh from someone else in the kitchen but Mina pushed him softly. 

"Leave Y/n alone, she came and that's all that matters. Come on, let's go dance." She pulled you straight into the living room without giving you a chance to answer her. 

"Isn't this fun?! I'm so sad you never got to have parties all year," She pouted at you, wrapping her arms around your waist as she swayed in time to whatever song she heard first. The mixture of the songs and stench alcohol all starting to hurt your head the longer that you stood there but you were at least going to wait an hour before heading home. 

"What the fuck are we doing?" Minho mumbled as he stared down at the jeans and shirt he was wearing, Felix had dressed in the same outfit only a different coloured shirt. When Felix suggested going to the party Minho didn't think he meant actually attending it.

"We're blending in." He chuckled laying one of the flower necklaces around Minho's neck who stared at him with a filthy look the moment it touched his chest. 

"What better way to find out information than going to the people that know the guy." It still didn't make Minho feel any better about being at some kind of dumb University frat party. Everyone was drunk and drooling over one another except for the girl that they had followed over, you. 

"Look," Minho nudged Felix and nodded in your direction as they watched you heading for the bathroom alone. You stood out amongst the rest, instead of dancing or drinking you were simply looking for a bathroom and keeping your head down. They only knew about the party because they'd overheard you and Mina talking about it earlier that day. 

"She looks like she could be here to help, we saw them speaking with one another earlier," Minho reminded Felix but he shook his head,

"She does look like she wants to be here, they didn't look like they liked one another." Minho shrugged his shoulders as he thought back on it, 

"All good acting," The two of them weren't sure if Farara had a partner this time but in all of his other bombings, he had someone. Someone who would take the fall for him, usually the good girl gone bad once they met him and fell for his traps. Promising them a life of happiness in another country, planning everything out so it would seem as though he truly loved and cared for them when he didn't. 

"I'm just saying we find The Chemelon, take care of business and leave," Felix whispered as they made their way through to the kitchen when they saw him. A loud laugh spread through the air that physically sent shivers down their spines, watching as he left out of the kitchen door and down the back garden. 

"Follow him," They said in unison as they headed out of the same door, keeping their heads down as they tried to see what it was he was doing. 

Stepping out onto the back porch you took in a long deep breath of the cold air, it felt nice to have it circulating through you instead of the stuffy air from inside. Mina had begged you to stay once she caught you trying to leave, making you promise her that you wouldn't go anywhere until she found Farara who had run off leaving her in charge of the party. In your mind, he was out fucking someone else since he seemed like a player but you weren't about to tell one of your best friends that. 

The longer you stood there the more you wanted to go home but as you looked down at the end of the garden you frowned. Inside the small shed, there was a flashing light coming through the window and you could have sworn you heard someone grunting. 

"I swear to god if this is Farara I'll murder him," You mumbled to yourself as you began to walk towards the building. All you were going to do was look through the window, if it was him you'd find Mina and tell her. If it wasn't him you'd just act as though you hadn't seen anything but the closer you got the more uneasy you began to grow. Something inside of you was telling you to turn back but you weren't about to let your friend get cheated on by some good for nothing low-life.

"Tell us what you're planning and maybe we'll let you off easy," Felix whispered in Farara's ear from behind him. They'd followed him out and found him packing up a suitcase which meant the bombing was sooner than expected from him. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," The boy stuttered as he stared between the two men in front of him, both of them had guns on display to intimidate him into speaking. As if being strapped into a chair with garden rope wasn't scary enough for him.

"Look, we know who you are. Just tell us where the bomb is," As soon as the word bomb left Minho's mouth he heard a gasp and branch snap from outside the shed. His eyes met with Felix and he nodded over to the side door where Felix could easily get out without being seen. 

Stepping back from the building you tried to move out of the way but ended up backing into someone who pushed you back to the window. Forcing you to stare through it as the man inside shot Farara in the chair he was strapped to. There was no sound from the gun you just saw a blur before Farara dropped forward, lifeless in the chair as blood pooled from the small entrance wound in his head. A small scream was building up in your throat but before you could say a word a hand was covering your mouth and you were ushered into the shed. 

"Clean up to Agents 322 and 366," The man who had killed Farara said down a small earpiece looking over at you with a small smirk on his face, 

"What a curious little kitten," Felix purred in your ear as he ran his fingers up and down your cheek making you shiver, 

“Curiosity Killed The Cat you know,” Minho chuckled as he looked over at you from his phone.

 "I'll ask you once, and only once." Minho lowered himself to your level, looking you in the eyes. 

"Do you know who he's working with? Your friend maybe? Could she have known what he was planning?" Bile rose up in your throat as you watched the blood pooling onto the floor, running along to Mino's shoes as he stood there. 

"Mina. S-She wouldn't have know...I don't think," You looked back at Minho, the gut feeling inside of you seemed to subside as you looked at him and Felix who was now standing in front of you. 

"You don't seem scared that we just killed your friend?" Felix questioned looking from the body and back to you, your eyes get dancing to and from Farara, half expecting him to jump up and have this be some kind of joke. 

"A friend? I didn't know him and he did nothing but belittle me...What was it you said about a bomb?" Curiosity began to build in Minho as he watched you, there wasn't even an ounce of fear towards them from you. 

"Have you heard of the Chameleon?" The realization hit you as you stared at Farara. 

"He fits the MO." You mumbled shocking Felix who just seemed to stare at you in disbelief. 

"You're training to be in the forces?" Minho asked as he laid a garden sheet over the body, your eyes staring back at him this time. 

"My father was an FBI agent, I know some things...I know you're not FBI." A smirk plastered across Felix's lips as he watched you and Minho interacting the way you were. It was the first time he'd ever seen Minho act so casually with someone in months, not to mention he seemed laid back. 

"How do you know that?" Felix quizzed looking over at you as he folded his arms over his chest. 

"For starters, neither of you have a badge otherwise you would have shown me by now, your guns aren't standard issue for agents...So you're hitmen...That or random psychopaths." Minho blinked at you before standing up straight when he heard a knock on the door. 

"Clean up crew," Minho pulled the door open and ushered you out with Felix on your other side. 

"Do you need help with her?" A female voice asked as you turned your whole body to see a female staring at you. 

"No thanks, you go and clean up. We'll take her home." Your eyes shot up to the one with the deep voice, Felix, and you frowned. 

"We'll make sure you get home safe," Minho added when he could see how confused you were. 

Leading you over to their car you stared at it, it was the same car that had been following you earlier. 

"You followed me here," The back door opened and you crawled inside, looking around at all of the empty food packets. 

"Ignore the mess, we were on a stakeout," Felix chuckled as he got into the front passenger seat and glanced back at you. 

"I'm Felix and this is Minho," He shook your hand and you felt a spark ignite inside of you. The way his hand fit around yours made you shiver a little, 

"Look at that, someone liked your touch Lix." Your eyes shot to Minho started up the car and smirked at you through the small review mirror. 

"Give us your address kitten," The small nickname made you clench your thighs as you could feel an aerosol building. After giving them your dorm address you began trying to pull yourself back together, you'd just watch them kill someone and yet you were getting wet at the thought of them calling you kitten. It didn't help that they were insanely attractive, Felix's muscles could be seen through the thin white shirt he was wearing and Minho's ass looked like he worked out an awful lot. You blinked, ignoring the growing wetness that was pooling between your legs. 

"Look at that, we haven't said one suggestive comment and you're squeezing your little thighs together," Minho chuckled as he reached a red light, turning to look at you from the front seat and licking his lips at the sight of you. Completely innocent and sitting there rubbing your legs together as if that was going to give you any kind of satisfaction that you were desperately craving. 

"My guess is she's going to go home and touch herself to the thought of us," Minho teased as he began to drive once again, watching Felix as he turned to look at you. His eyes locking with you as he reached behind to rub your knee softly. 

"I mean she doesn't have to think of us, we could do it for you princess." The car stopped outside your dorm but you made no attempt to move as the car was shut off. 

"Would you like that?" Minho questioned turning his body to look at you. The need to press your thighs together built up but Felix kept them apart, licking his lips as he waited for you to answer the question. A finger trailed up and down your knee and you shuddered, 

"Yes! Yes...Yes, I would like that," You spoke loudly as you stared at both of them, the two exchanged a smirk with one another before climbing out of the car and holding your door open.

"Then who are we to let a pretty little kitten go home needy," Felix growled in your ear, holding your arm as you all walked in the direction of your dorm room.

Neither of them wasted time when they got into your room, attaching their lips to either side of your neck as you let out small whimpers of pleasure. You could already feel each of them smirking against your skin, Felix's hands around your waist while Minho kept his on your breasts, massaging them softly with his hands whenever you would whimper. 

"Here we thought you were the good girl," Minho whispered making you jerk away from him, 

"I'm not. I'm sick of people saying that to me," You spat at him your eyes locking with his as he tilted his head to the side, a smug look on his face. 

"Prove it to me," Without another word you pushed him down onto your bed sinking to your knees in front of him. You pulled down the jeans he was wearing discarding them behind you, forgetting about Felix behind you until he laid down on the floor. 

"Up," He ordered, you rose to your knees and he slid under you so his breath was right against your core. 

"Looks pretty," He whispered referencing the bright pink thong you had worn under your dress that night, 

"But it needs to go." One snapping sound later and you felt a cool breeze on your core,

"Dripping wet Minho, you should see her." A finger began to trace along your folds making your hips jolt forward, 

"So wet, pretty and-" A small kiss was placed on your clit and your eyes widened, 

"Tastes define." Felix moaned out in a deep voice, you whimpered looking at Minho. 

"The confidence seems to have faded from you kitten," You ignored him pulling his cock free from his boxer and smirking at the length. He was larger than you expected but you slowly pumped him in one hand, looking up at him smugly as he jerked. Minho shifted a little, leaning back against the bed letting his elbow prop him up. Running your fingers over the indent under the head of his cock your smirk grew wider as he moaned out.

"Good girl," He breathed out as your tongue began to caress him, swirling around the head of his cock before you took him into your warm mouth pumping your head back and forth while your other hand rested on his thigh. 

"My turn," Felix whispered pulling you to sit down on his face as you let out a moan around Minho's cock who seemed to moan out in pleasure. Hollowing out your cheeks you ran your tongue over the indent you'd found earlier and he cried out gripping onto the sheets around him. 

"Oh shit!" You moaned out as you could feel Felix's tongue running through your folds while he worked two fingers in and out of you, curling them up to meet your g-spot making you cry out again. 

Minho thrust up into your mouth as you took him back, moving your head faster this time setting his whole body aflame. Each thrust of your head caused his whole body to stiffen and he looked at you, holding your face as he began to thrust a little more. You smirked around him nodding at him to let him know it was okay and he slowly began to thrust into your mouth. 

"S-Shit she likes that Hyung, clenching around my tongue." Felix chuckled as he continued to eat you out aggressively as you rode his face, your hips bucking little by little as you felt an orgasm beginning to build up inside of you. Minho thrust up once more before his whole body shook and he let out a moan of your name, cumming into your mouth as he rolled his head back. You swallowed every last drop and focused on the pleasure Felix was giving to you, gripping onto the bed as you rocked your hips in time with his licks. 

"So pretty when your face contorts like that," Minho chuckled as he began kissing you softly, holding your neck in his hand lightly as he forced you to look at him, 

"Do you like this? Two strangers fucking you?" You nodded as you let out a choked moan, pulsating around Felix's fingers as he continued to thrust them into you at a rough pace. 

"Cumming!" You screamed out as your hips continued to buck as your orgasm ripped through you, your legs shaking as you tried to stay upright on your knees instead of falling to the floor the way you wanted to. 

"Y/n?" Felix whispered as he pulled himself into a sitting position, watching you as you ripped your dress off from your body, you were ready and you needed one of them inside of you. Now.

Lips met yours over and over again as Minho pulled you up onto the bed, sitting back against the headboard as you straddled his lap. Kissing him wherever you could, lips, neck, collarbone, anywhere you could get your lips on him. Felix sat behind you naked, his cock pressed against your ass as you let out a whine. 

"Still so wet," Felix chuckled as he teased your entrance with two fingers, meanwhile Minho had worked his fingers down to your clit circling slowly. 

"Holy fuck," You breathed out as your head fell forward to rest on top of Minho's. Your brain was in a fog as they continued to tease you with their fingers until Felix sank two inside of you and Minho applied the pressure that made you cry out pushing your hips back into Felix. 

A third finger was added and your whole body felt as though it was on fire, your fingernails dug into Minho's arms as you cried out a mixture of both of their names. 

"Someone is ready for us," Minho chuckled as they removed their fingers making you whimper at the sudden lack of touch from either of them. Felix moved to the edge of the bed and sat in the same position Minho had before. 

"On the floor kitten," He whispered as you got onto your knees in front of him, this time Minho sat behind you with his cock at your entrance causing you to clench around nothing. 

"You sure?" You ignored the stupid question as you sank down onto Minho's cock crying out as you adjusted to the size of him. 

"That..Oh shit...That's a yes Felix," Minho moaned out as he held onto your thighs, grunting at the tight feeling as you wrapped around his cock. Smirking to yourself you looked up at Felix, taking him into your mouth and began to bob your head as you had done with Minho. The two men moaning out in pleasure as you controlled them, moving your hips up and down at a slow pace just to torture Minho that little bit more. 

"Fuck," Minho's hands gripped onto your waist and he thrust up harder and faster into you, his breathing jagged as he moaned out your name. Felix's cock twitched into your mouth as you began to roll your tongue around the head of his cock, reaching your hand down between your thighs to circle your clit. 

Fire was beginning to build in your stomach with both moans from men titling you over the edge. 

"Just like that," Felix cried out as you moved your head in time with Minho's fast thrust. The room filled with wet sounds and slapping skin as you cried out around Felix's length. Felix's hand rested on your cheek as he began to thrust into your mouth, grunting as he came down your throat holding you around him until his hips stopped jerking. 

"M-Minho! I-I’m cumming! I-I’m cumming!" You screamed out as he continued his sinfully fast thrusts until he came into you touching you deeply as your head rolled back against his chest. Clenching onto anything you could get your hands on, screaming out his name. Cumming around him as you pulsated in pure bliss, your whole body felt as though it was shaking. 

Minho smirked as you slept in his shirt, they'd managed to clean you up with a warm wet cloth and got you into bed. 

"Poor thing must be exhausted," He smirked running his fingers over your face as your frowned in deep slumber. 

"That was a nice reward though for finishing our job," Felix laughed as he looked at your body, you were curled up in a small clutching onto the sheets and he smiled. 

"We should get going, paperwork to report and all that," Minho mumbled grabbing a hoodie from your wardrobe as he turned to leave.

The morning you woke up images of what had happened flashed before you and if it hadn't been for the achiness between your thighs. You would have thought it a dream and yet, you were laying there in a shirt that wasn't yours and a note beside your bed,

Until next time Curious Kitten x 

Written at the bottom of the note were two numbers with the boy's initials by the side of them, you clutched the note against your chest as you laid back. Enjoying the memories of the night before. 

Tagline: @minholuvs​ @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​ 

[ffamranxii]

HAIKYUU!! COUPLES HEADCANONS

DAISUGA

-Daichi goes to the gym to work out. Suga goes to the gym to ogle Daichi

-Suga has a massive sweet tooth

-Daichi cooks, Suga cleans

-Suga is a little shit who is not above seducing Daichi in public. He can say the most lewd things without batting an eye while Daichi blushes furiously

-Daichi and Kuroo once hooked up at training camp. They do not talk about it

-Daichi is good friends with Michimiya and Kiyoko. Suga is closer to Asahi

-Daisuga rarely fight and are often asked for relationship advice. Daichi tries to discourage this because “guys I didn’t realize Yui had a crush on me or that Suga was in love with me for three years.”

-Daichi can’t dance, won’t dance, and refuses to acknowledge the time he got trashed and twerked

-Suga dislikes his given name unless it’s said by Daichi, who is the only person allowed to call him Koushi

-Suga is extremely flexible. Daichi is not.

-Daichi or Suga getting hit on makes Daichi uncomfortable. Getting hit on amuses Suga, and Daichi getting hit on makes him horny

-It took all of high school for Daisuga to get together, because Daichi is oblivious and Suga assumed Daichi wasn’t into him. Daichi’s dumbness and their mutual pining becomes a fond, shared joke several years later

-Daichi has no gag reflex. 

-Daisuga have a very fat, very orange cat named Ninja. He’s surprisingly fast and agile despite looking like a furry basketball. (Daichi is a dog person and did not even want Ninja at first. He suspects Kuroo had something to do with this. Suga sometimes playfully gets upset because “Ninja likes you better than me, Dai!”)

-Everyone expects Suga to be the dominant one but Suga is more than willing to be submissive for Daichi and has on several occasions

ASANOYA

-Noya gets up before sunrise to run. Asahi would rather die than leave his bed before 8am

-Noya turns the coffee pot on and cooks breakfast to lure Asahi out of bed

-Noya is surprisingly patient, gentle, quiet, and kind when it comes to Asahi and his insecurities

-Noya is the type to bottle his insecurities and fears until they explode. The only one who can calm him back down is Asahi

-Asahi makes bratty faces when he thinks Noya isn’t looking

-Noya and Tanaka spend a lot of time with Daisuga because of the Daichi&Suga&Asahi&Kiyoko friendship. Asahi and Ennoshita become good friends

-Asahi doesn’t understand the distance between Noya and his sisters because Asahi is very close to his

-It is impossible to embarrass Noya

-Asahi gets a lot of inspiration for his fashion designs from traveling with Noya

-Noya knows how to braid hair and likes to play with Asahi’s

-Asahi enjoys physical affection but dislikes overt PDA. Noya would happily climb Asahi like a tree in public if Asahi would let him

-Only Asahi calls Noya by his given name

-Noya knows he likes Asahi early on but Asahi’s panic (“omg someone LIKES me?? NOYA likes me?? My crush??”) at his confession prevent them getting together until after the Date Tech match (after Asahi rejoins the team).

-Noya is affected by wanderlust and that’s why he travels. Sometimes Asahi joins him. They get married in Canada during one of these trips. (I once read a fantastic asanoya fic where a significant event happened in Canada so Canada is my asanoya place now)

-Noya sends Asahi a postcard from every place he’s ever visited. Sometimes he’ll spend over half an hour trying to find the *best* one, only to buy them all and send them as a sort of big long letter. Asahi saves them all in a photo album that lives on the coffee table. (Some people have a coffee table book, Asahi has a photo album.)

-Noya prefers to top. The one thing he’s really uncomfortable with is being on the bottom (physically laying beneath someone and also sex).

KUROKEN

-Kuroken have a black cat and a calico and enjoy naps on the couch with the kitties. Kuroo has SO MANY pictures in his phone of Kenma curled around the kitties.

-Kuroo: “Love you.” Kenma: “Hate you.”

-Kenma CAN cook, but likes that Kuroo likes taking care of him

-Every game Kuroo has ever owned is multiplayer because he only games with Kenma

-Kenma’s favorite games involve critical thinking and puzzles. Kuroo enjoys watching him play

-Kuroo is an introvert masquerading as an extrovert. Kenma is an introvert. They enjoy quiet nights in.

-Kuroo has anxiety. Kenma always knows when Kuroo is anxious and how to fix it

-People make Kenma anxious. Kuroo makes himself anxious.

-Kenma’s nicknames for Kuroo are Kuro and Koroemon. Kuroo calls Kenma Kyanma and kitten

-Kuroo has been in love with Kenma for as long as he can remember, since they were kids. Kenma knows this, but doesn’t understand he feels the same way until Kuroo goes off to college

-Kuroo is the one who discovered Daichi’s lack of gag reflex. He’s delighted to learn that Kenma lacks one as well

-Kenma moves more slowly than Kuroo. He’s not as comfortable with physical affection and sex as Kuroo is. Their relationship progresses slowly, and Kuroo lets Kenma lead. 

-After Kenma’s confession, how he feels about Kuroo is one of the very few things Kuroo does not doubt or make himself anxious over.

-Kuroo can, will, and has go(ne) on and on and ON about Kenma until someone shuts him up. It drives Yaku up the fucking wall in high school.

-Kenma does a retro game stream once or twice a month made up of games he and Kuroo used to play as kids. Kuroo actually games with him on those days and Kenma’s followers are quick to notice and speculate because Kenma has literally never gamed with another person in the same room before. Sometimes Kenma can only post the actual gameplay because Kuroo ruined the footage of them by being excessively sappy. (Kuroo is NOT above flirting and dirty talk to get an edge and Kenma doesn’t really think his fans need to know that.)

-Kuroken do not talk about Kuroo’s mom or sister

-The Kozumes love “Tetsu-chan” and Kuroo’s grandparents adore Kenma. Kuroken get along with each other’s families better than they do their own.

-Kuroo is tactile. He’s that ass-slapping friend. Kenma thinks he’s ridiculous

-Kuroo used to be dislike Hinata, because Kenma and Hinata are extremely good friends and Kuroo was afraid Hinata would take Kenma away from him. Kenma has assured him he doesn’t like Hinata like that but Kuroo doesn’t warm up until Hinata starts dating Kageyama

BOKUAKA

-Akaashi is 100% in charge of the house and the financials and his word is law. Not because he’s an asshole but because Bokuto is whipped

-Akaashi is a screamer. Bokuto has a big dick.

-Bokuto is the calmest between him and his sisters. His sisters have formed an Akaashi fanclub

-Bokuaka kiss a lot during sex

-Bokuto fucking loves owls

-Akaashi used to be embarrassed over being a manga editor but Bokuto thinks it’s the coolest job ever, “even better than mine!” When his authors need references, Akaashi sends them pictures of Bokuto. Bokuto takes this responsibility very seriously

-Bokuaka exclusively refer to each other by first name but Akaashi can’t break the habit of using -san

-Akaashi and Kenma are very good friends. Bokuto thinks they might even be better bros than him and Kuroo. (Kenma is one of the few people Akaashi calls by first name, and one of the only people who calls Akaashi by his.)

-Akaashi overthinks as a result of anxiety, but he doesn’t think he has anxiety. He prefers to call it “seeing the issue from all sides”

-Akaashi and Bokuto do yoga together. Bokuto behaves himself surprisingly well around Akaashi in yoga pants

-Akaashi decided to attend Fukurodani after watching Bokuto play and literally for no other reason

-Bokuaka are the embodiment of love at first sight and their relationship has an unreal, almost storybook quality to it because they are literally perfect for each other. Because of this, Bokuto doesn’t understand why other people struggle so much to start and maintain a relationship, no matter how many times Kuroo tells him “just because your relationship is straight out of a movie doesn’t mean the rest of the world works like that”

-Bokuaka have a koi pond in their backyard and have named all the fish. Bokuto always asks about them when he’s away for games

IWAOI

-Iwaizumi cooks and cleans because he’s always been the one taking care of Oikawa, but he refuses to fold the laundry because “I’m not doing everything for you, you fucking freeloader”

-Iwaizumi cooks healthy “old man food.” Oikawa’s sweet tooth suffers

-Oikawa is that guy who puts more cream and sugar and other additives in his coffee than actual coffee. He’s tried all of Starbucks’ seasonal drinks and never gets the same thing twice

-Iwaoi have very heated arguments about if Godzilla can kick King Kong’s ass or not. Iwaizumi of course sides with Godzilla

-Iwaoi once fought about the original purpose of Stonehenge and now no one can mention England without it coming back up

-Oikawa only became comfortable with his glasses because Iwaizumi likes them

-Iwaoi have been friends since they were in diapers. The whole volleyball team took bets on when they’d announce their relationship

-Both the Oikawas and the Iwaizumis respond when either boy calls for mom or dad. Oikawa calls his sister Nee-chan while Iwaizumi says Oneesan

-Iwaizumi’s favorite of Oikawa’s features is his legs. Oikawa is in love with Iwa’s arms

-Neither of them can remember when they started liking each other or how their relationship started

-Iwaoi are shockingly codependent and do NOT do separation (during university in Argentina/California or for away games) well

-Deep down Oikawa is extremely insecure and worries he isn’t enough - in volleyball, in school, in his family, in his relationship. Iwaizumi always knows when he’s putting on a front and how to cheer him back up

-Iwaizumi is secretly so soft and weak for Oikawa

-After the Olympics Iwaizumi moves to Argentina to be with Oikawa and they get married. They move back to Japan after Oikawa retires from volleyball and after gay marriage becomes legal there

-Oikawa keeps various plants around the house and the patio and is extremely proud of them. He paints all their pots and even names some of them (which Iwaizumi thinks is disgustingly cute). His most prized plant is a lucky bamboo he bought on a whim when iwaoi first moved in together.

-Oikawa can’t deepthroat. It makes him so jealous that Iwaizumi can

-Iwaizumi blushes whenever Oikawa gives him a genuine compliment

-Iwaizumi has a praise kink. Oikawa has a “whatever comes out of Iwa’s mouth” kink

-Iwaizumi has dom tendencies.

[roscgcld]

HEADCANONS + GOJO SATORU || onii-chan

note: this was a few ideas given to me by my beloved 🌸Anon - a bunch of new gojotwins!au headcanons c: this one is a little different compared to my other story, so this is a stand alone one. might turn it into a series if it gets enough love, but we’ll see~ you can read the original ask here!

pronouns: she/her

note: mentions of blood and death and spoilers for volume 8 & 9 of the manga. SUPER LONG by the way lol

gojotwins!au masterlist

twins have always been viewed as a bad omen for the parents - there are high chances of both twins developing no Cursed Technique at all, or have a Cursed Technique that is not desirable. So there had been no hope when one of the wives from the main family of the gojo clan was pregnant, and from what they can tell with twins at that

so it was a huge surprise to not only the elders but the entire jujutsu world when not one, but both of the twins were born with the coveted Six Eyes - something that had never happened in the history of the gojo clan. it was a moment to be celebrated!

if only they knew just what was lies ahead

much to the delight of the elders, the older one of the twins was the boy, satoru, while the girl was born 20 minutes after - it wouldn’t have mattered if it was the other way around, but just having the young boy being the one born first was definitely the icing on the cake

both of you were an absolute headache to deal with, causing so much chaos and mayhem that the elders had wondered if they should have celebrated at the idea of having two Six Eyes users under the same house was a good thing

the both of you trained together throughout your younger years, with satoru becoming super overprotective even though you were twins - he understood from a young age that the both of you were starting at different levels of footing because of your gender

yes, you are a girl - but at 7 years old you had exorcise a Grade-Two Curse by yourself with no more than an annoyed click of your tongue and a snap of your fingers, walking away whilst whining about how it got your favourite dress dirty

with that being said though, he loves to tease you are still the younger one between the both of you, and had teased you about how you should refer to him as ‘onii-chan’ instead of his first name

“come on, Y/N~ it’s a sign of respect~”

“i am going to spend you to outer space one of these days.”

the two of you were already known about the jujutsu world way before you even became old enough to enroll in Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College - you two were even allowed to enter without an interview with the then principal of the school

who would want to waste their time interviewing two highly over qualified teenagers anyway?

the first time you met geto and shoko, they were both intimidated by your sheer presence. the both of them have heard talks about the gojo twins entering their year as a pair

so when they had first met you, standing there in your uniform with your bright blue eyes hiding behind a pair of blacked out sunglasses and an indifferent look on your face - they definitely felt a shiver go through their bodies

however, when they saw your twin brother appearing behind you with the biggest grin, hugging you from behind whilst you scowled and tried to push his head away - they were definitely less intimidated now

“now, now, Y/N-chan, stop being so scary~”

“nii-chan, i am giving you three seconds to let go of me.”

the two of you quite the duo, especially when you two are always pinned against one another with more difficult and more challenging missions compared to when you were under the care of the gojo clan 

geto felt less pressure to match up to his friend, since satoru and Y/N are always at each other’s throat - wanting to outmatch the other and one up the other with silly things like Curse head counts and how difficult its level is

with that being said, satoru is very protective of you - if any so much as speaks poorly of you, he would not hesitate to put them in their place

“oya? what makes you think you can speak of my baby sister like that?” satoru had hummed towards the small group of men, who were commenting on how beautiful the young woman was followed by a lot of unsavoury comments. 

satoru still sported his casual smile, yet there was a certain air around him that made them shut their mouths up real fast. “mind repeating that? just want to make sure that i have a good enough reason to put your lazy asses six feet underground..”

after that specific incident by the way, satoru had you and your friends out on a little excursion around tokyo - where they just did a bunch of stupid things together to calm down

you can read him like the back of a book though, so when both of your friends went away to browse through some shelves in a video game store, you just wrapped your arms around your brother with a smile. “you know, nii-chan, you don’t need to go about protect my honour. i’m a big girl now.”

he’d just blink down at you before giving you a soft but genuine smile, petting the top of your head with one of his hand while the other was resting inside of his pocket. “if i don’t protect you, who am i going to protect?”

that statement was proven during your second year - a cursed user had overpowered you and shoko and had taken the both of you hostage. the curse user had practically beaten you into a pulp, knowing that you were the stronger one between the two

shoko had been tied up and beaten as well, but you were definitely taking the brunt of his anger - along with being forced to listen about how he was going to sell you to some low life family that had been trying to get you to marry their sorry excuse of a son. 

you don’t even remember meeting the father of the boy, who had claimed to visit the gojo clan home a few times now

“you gonna be a good girl for me?” the man had gripped as he gripped your hair in his hands, giving you a smirk whilst you scowled over at him in annoyance, blinking the blood out of your eyes from the wound on the top of your head. 

before you can give another snarky answer in reply that will get you another beating, the sound of someone kicking the door in. before either one of you can move, the man suddenly let go of your hair with a pained gasp as someone grabbed his hair and forced his head back, looking up into a pair of glowing blue eyes

“get your filthy hands off my baby sister.”

geto was in charge of taking care of the both of you, leaving the room with a simple reminder to satoru that they needed to bring the man back alive

both of you spending most of your time trying to unlock the many secrets of the Limitless, and how to control it better

during the entire star plasma vessel fiasco, you had stayed by geto’s side. and while you didn’t manage to save rika from being murdered, you had, like gojo, managed to touch the core of cursed energy

toji had ‘killed you’ before he went after geto, yet like satoru, he did not decapitate your head; so you had slowly started to use the reverse curse technique to heal your wounds

so you couldn’t believe satoru’s belief when he found you using reverse cursed technique to heal geto, wrapping you up in his arms while you just smile and hold him as well

the three of you plus shoko had turned to one another for comfort, because along the way you four have grown close to the young girl, and her death really affected all of you

but if there is something bright that came out from this, is that you and your brother had really elevated yourselves to become the strongest duo of the new generation - both pretty much an entire chest above the current active sorcerers

after satoru had calmed down, he had told you about what toji had said to him before his death - about how he has a son that he had planned to sell of to the zen’ins

the two of you went to visit the young boy, discovering that he had an older sister as well; and without hesitation you had taken the both of them under your wing, pulling a few strings behind the scenes while also trying to provide him with as normal as a life as you two could

megumi had viewed you as a mother figure, someone who looked out for him and tsumiki, teaching the two of them life skills like sewing and cooking, making sure they always have warm meals. 

you never miss their birthdays either - always making sure to get them either a cake or a small cupcake with a candle on the top to blow out just for the sake of tradition

sure, satoru loves to spoil them too, but he acted more like their chilled older brother - he definitely relies on you more as a parental figure he had lacked for quite a huge part of his childhood

he had remembered how once, when you had made him his favourite curry and rice after a long week, he just sighed and said, “thanks mum,” before he started to eat his meal 

at first you froze in shock, and  megumi did too - but before the blushing teen can apologise, you had already wrapped him up in your arms as you just cried your heart out

satoru had teasingly asked him if megumi can call him ‘dad’, to which megumi just scowled and sent his divine dogs after your brother

satoru loves to introduce you two as the ‘strongest duo’ by the way - which makes you super awkward and you hate it with a passion. he wasn’t wrong, but it’s still awkward

“we’re the Gojos - the strongest duo out there.”

“please stop calling us that.”

feel like because you’re there, geto might still be on the path to the light lmao - like mans will be a teacher in school and you three will be dub the ‘idiot trinity’ or some bullshit nickname lol - the three biggest troublemakers in the jujutsu world

yet the three most capable ones as well - absolutely drive the higher ups of the jujutsu world insane

with that being said though - the three of you definitely hashed a plan to change the jujutsu world together. even shoko agrees that there should be some change to the old ways of the jujutsu world; so the four of you decided to sign up to work as teachers at Jujutsu High 

the first group of students you took under your wing was the then first years - maki, toge, panda, and eventually yuta when he joined your little class

you are the mother for the students while geto is the responsible dad; satoru is the crazy uncle that is not allowed to supervise the students alone, and shoko is the cool aunt who lets you skip class in her office if you want

all the students have, at one point, just referred to you as ‘mum’ and you had always just accepted that with a soft smile and a pat on the top of their head

even if they are taller than you, they will willingly bend down to your height so you can pet them on the head - even megumi lets you get away with it

when itadori and nobara came into the picture, you had taken them un as your own as well - but you did spend a good 5 minutes laughing with geto at the idea that yuji manages to control sukuna like he is just an annoying imaginary friend in the back of his head that refuses to shut up

you had tried to give them some form of normality and comforts as teenagers, even if many times they were forced into very uncomfortable situations

all in all - it was utter chaos the moment both you and satoru were born. yet it was a miracle nonetheless. many times you prove to the world that your bond is stronger than people think it is, and that you two will go through anything to make sure the other is safe. 

you are the younger one, but the more responsible one too. the motherly figure that everyone turned to, even your friends and brother, who needs comfort and a warm meal. yet if provoked, you can become deadly and kill with no hesitation. it’s because of this, both you and your brother are considered as quite the deadly duo; the strongest ones around. 

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform

[sn0wgr4ve]

* cracks knuckles. time for an influx of skelebro headcanons

* some are just sans, some are just papyrus, but i’m gonna try n make ‘em mostly both

* this is more of a general headcanon, but monsters are super fucking tall. sans, being one of if not THE shortest adult, stands at 8’2, with frisk being almost half his height (4’2)! which would make papyrus roughly 9’8

* sans and papyrus have similar “body” types, and with sans loving baggy clothes, they end up “borrowing” each other’s clothes a lot. though papyrus has willingly given sans a hoodie or two

* hee hoo pride time. they, coincidentally have similar identities. they’re both agender, with sans being transmasc, aroace, and gay, and papyrus being tramsfem, aroflux, and gay. they’re proud of it

* sans is absolutely fucking unhinged around papyrus (+ jevil and alphys). like if you see the two of them alone sans would act like a completely different person

* sans started drinking ketchup to gross out papyrus, but it ended up just becoming second nature

* on the above note, sans probably eats a lot of weird shit for the same effect. ketchup in ice cream, chocolate syrup on sushi, mustard and relish on a brownie, basically anything he could think of that would make someone die inside. i feel like he’d try my death cereal…

* despite his horrible food combos, sans is actually a pretty good chef and baker. he does end up having try try a couple recipes multiple times, but when he perfects it, it comes out pretty amazing. i like to think he started teaching papyrus and undyne so they wouldn’t fuckin burn undyne’s house down (…again.)

* papyrus is slightly british. sans isn’t. papyrus is for some reason. and he pronounces sans like “sah-ns”. it makes sans wanna scream every time, but he’s good at hiding it

* sans used to bite his friends and family affectionately. but way too hard. he accidentally killed the nerves of one of chara’s fingers. he stopped biting anyone but papyrus after that

* sans can probably hold up papyrus with one arm. and will throw him if he makes a snarky comment

* sans and papyrus have two moods. extremely fucking unhinged, or very sweet and loving. this applies to everyone

* sans and papyrus inspire/influence each other a lot more than either of them think. for example, i can see sans starting to bake to cheer papyrus up, so papyrus wanted to start to cook!

* the “papy” nickname became a thing as sans tried to cheer papyrus up by making him laugh. it worked! but the nickname isn’t really used all that often, so it can keep that cheery effect

* on the flip side, papyrus used to call sans “sansy” to annoy the hell out of him

* sans and papyrus aren’t that far apart in age, only a couple of months because of some weird skeleton logic. however, papyrus already outgrew sans when they were toddlers and sans never forgave him

* sans, papyrus, and alphys had gameboy pokemon games that matched. pokemon blue, pokemon red, pokemon yellow. sans found all the games and gave red to papyrus and yellow to alphys. he was proud of his joke. papyrus was not amused however

* sans and papyrus share a lot of interests, but don’t usually share such to most people. mostly because they both like mlp and papyrus wants to appear tougher (spoilers: it doesn’t really work)

* sans wears a black sweater under a white t-shirt. he wanted to slightly match with papyrus’s battle body

* sans taught papyrus the piano. he was surprised papyrus wanted to learn such a stereotypically calm instrument, but he was happy to teach him and just spend time with him

* papyrus made sans’s current/main/comfort hoodie! think the fangamer one. sans face on the zipper and all. he made it for sans and sans got attached to it for Decades

* sand and papyrus are both pretty good artists. papyrus is confirmed, as he painted the cliff/bridge in the room before snowdin town, but i like to think sans is a hobbyist comic artist (heheh.)

* relating to the above one, sans and papyrus like to watch each other paint. not for any real reason either, they just kinda. watch them do their painting thing. maybe ‘cause it’s relaxing

* sans and papyrus have very nice singing voices. i think sans used to sing papyrus to sleep. probably still does when he has bad days

* i think sans unofficially adopts anyone possible. he probably mentally adopted frisk his first look at them. you’re his friend and you show even the slightest bit of care? bam, now you’re his sibling or child

* sans has a plushie collection. this is just straight up projection. i can’t even hide it. i have spent likely $500+ on plushies. i can’t help but feel like he’d do the same. listen, the cute pokemon and utdr plushies got to me. i just cannot resist their cute tiny little faces

* sans is a major cat person. it just makes sense. i can see him falling asleep by a cat, solely out of love for said cat. even if he’s never seen the cat before them. meanwhile, papyrus likes snakes

* sans drinks monster for the “monster for a monster! :)” joke, and for the taste. like a weirdo /aff

* papyrus probably eats pennies

* sans and papyrus stargaze a lot when on the surface, and sans ends up ranting a nerdy scientific rant. papyrus does genuinely listen, he just usually doesn’t have anything to add or comment. sans thought otherwise until papyrus told undyne about how black holes formed. he was a very proud and happy big bro that day

* they’re both suckers for romance songs, despite neither being all that interested in a relationship (- jevil for sans. tee hee.) though, sans can’t see “just the two of us” as a romance song. he just sees it as him and papyrus comforting each other through the worst of it

* when playing ddlc for the first time, papyrus compared sayori to sans. sans, knowing what happens, just cringed and sighed to himself