#like I WANT intimacy and romance but it scares the living shit out of me

[sheree-says-stuff]

having a high sex drive and being raised in a sex-negative house had absolutely horrific effects on me. now I'm horny AND guilty about everything.

[hollywoodxwhore]

Mine | Chapter Ten

Colson x Original Female Character

Synopsis: Presley may look sinful on the outside, but deep down, she's innocent, guarded, and terrified of intimacy. Colson, on the other hand, is living up to his womanizer reputation as a way to cope with heartbreak. When his new guitarist invites his twin sister to join them on tour, Colson discovers that he's actually capable of feeling. Will Presley and Colson be able to push past all of the barriers trying to prevent them from happening?

Warnings/Content: Smut (18+), alcohol and marijuana usage, swearing, discussions of virginity, vulnerability, grinding, p in v sex, oral sex (f receiving)

Buckle up, y'all. The moment you've been waiting for: Presley loses her virginity to Colson. I appreciate all the feedback!

Presley

Olivia and I are backstage while the boys perform, and as much as we like watching them, we decided to sneak away to her dressing room for some quiet. She sips a beer and I take hits off my pen every so often. She seems so relaxed, but I’m not sure I’ve ever been so jittery in my life. I can’t believe I told Colson I was ready.

It’s not that I was being dishonest. I am ready. He could’ve taken me the first night and I would’ve been okay with it. But no matter how much I trust him, this is a big step for me. Actual penetration, to me, is the closest two humans can be. I want it to live up to the hype. I’m also scared of getting more attached than I already am. 

I’ve zoned out for the fourth time during only one story of Olivia’s, and finally, she huffs at me, but her eyes are playful. “Pres,” she says. “Where the hell are you?”

I smile sheepishly. “Sorry,” I say, shaking my head to try to snap myself out of it. 

She studies my face and I shift uncomfortably under her scrutiny. She narrows her eyes at me. “Hey, Pres?” she asks.

“Y-yeah?” I answer, my mouth feeling extremely dry. I reach for my water bottle and take a shaky sip. 

“Can we stop pretending I don’t know about you and Colson?” Her tone is casual and calm, but it ignites a fire in me and I startle, eyes widening. Oh god. I’m nauseous. How does she know? Does this mean Cash knows? Holy fuck – “Cash doesn’t know,” she says, interrupting my thoughts. “In fact, he’s the most oblivious person I’ve ever met.”

“Oh thank god,” I breathe, slumping a little in relief. “Liv, you can’t tell him–”

“Relax, Pres,” she says, putting a perfectly manicured hand to my knee, “I won’t. It’s not my business.”

I bite my lip hard. “How do you know?”

She shrugs. “People act differently once they’ve fucked,” she says simply. “It becomes pretty obvious.”

I blink at her. “Colson and I haven’t…” She gives me a look and I shake my head. “Honestly! We’ve done other stuff, but we haven’t had sex. I’ve, um, I’ve never even…”

Olivia raises a brow. “Wait. You’re a virgin?” she asks. My cheeks redden but I nod. “No way,” she says, covering her mouth. “No offense, but it shocks me that Colson is pursuing you.”

I flinch a little. “He’s different than he seems, Liv,” I say quietly. “He…he asked me to be his girlfriend earlier today.”

Olivia is silent for a moment, and then she lets out an incredulous laugh. “I’ll be damned. Holy shit. It’s about time,” she says.

“For what?” I ask, brow furrowing. 

“For Colson to stop moping over Megan and find someone actually good for him,” she says. “I mean, I see the way he looks at you, but I didn’t think he was ready to try romance again.”

I shrug, and I can’t help the little smile that crosses my face. “Yeah. He’s…he’s so sweet, Liv,” I tell her, and she softens, smiling. “He’s so gentle and patient and he just gets me, you know?”

“I do know,” she says, eyes sparkling, and I smile when I realize she’s talking about Cash. And then, anger flares inside me.

“Do you know that Cash has been telling Colson not to pursue anything with me?” I ask.

Olivia shakes her head quickly as if to clear away the disbelief. “Wait, what?!”

“Yeah,”  I say sharply. “He’s told Colson several times now not to try anything with me.”

Olivia snorts. “Well, Cash is a dumbass then, seeing as he’s made you room with Kells so many times,” she says.

“Exactly!” I say. “Although, I guess you did say he’s oblivious.” 

“Blinded by his own relationship,” Olivia says knowingly, nodding slowly. “It isn’t Cash’s business who you date.”

“Exactly what I said!” I say. “But Colson told me I should wait until the tour ends. Otherwise Cash might blow up and leave the tour.”

Olivia frowns. “That’s not fucking fair,” she says.

I shake my head. “No, I agreed, Colson isn’t wrong–”

“No, Cash is wrong,” she says. “It’s not fair that he gets to enjoy his relationship and you and Colson have to hide.”

“That’s exactly what I said,” I mutter. “But my brother is stubborn as fuck. I wouldn’t put it past him to do some dumb shit like punch Colson or leave the band.”

Olivia winces. “That would be really bad.”

“I know.”

Olivia sighs. “Okay. So you wait ‘til the end of tour. That’s not so bad, right?” 

I shrug weakly. “I guess not. Just sucks because I want to be unashamedly all over my boyfriend.” The word feels weird in my mouth, but I like the way it sounds. My boyfriend. Colson. 

Olivia smiles slowly. “Fuck all that. I’m so happy for you guys,” she said. “I couldn’t have handpicked someone better for Kells, honestly.”

“Thank you,” I say, beaming.

“Now, can we go back to the virginity thing?” she asks, and my smile fades, but I nod.

“If I can manage to room with him,” I say, “we’re going to tonight.”

Olivia’s eyes widen. “Oh, shit,” she says. “I’ll make it happen. Don’t you worry.” 

“Really?” I ask, nerves and excitement dancing in my belly.

“Yes, of course!” she says. “This is a big deal, Pres!”

“I know,” I agree, wiping my sweaty palms on my thighs. “I’m a little scared.”

Olivia softens and pets my leg. “From what it sounds like, Colson will be so good to you,” she says. “Just be honest with him. Don’t rush it.”

“It’s gonna hurt,” I say with a wince. “He’s…sorry. He’s your friend.”

“Oh, his dick is huge,” Olivia says bluntly. “We all know it. We’ve all seen Kells naked at one point or another. We’ve all walked in on him fucking, too.”

I cringe. “Yeah. Me too.”

Olivia winces sympathetically. “Yeah. Kells is– was– a manwhore. We love him, though.” She studies my face. “Hey,” she says. “It might hurt. But my advice is to do a shit ton of foreplay. Like, a lot. Have an orgasm before you even have sex, if possible. It’ll make it easier.”

I blush. I’ve never had a girlfriend to talk about this with before, but it’s nice not to be carrying this alone. I trust Olivia, and I really like her. I’m glad she agrees that Cash is being a douche. It tells me how good she is for my brother. 

“I’ll figure out the hotel situation,” she says. “Your job is to enjoy tonight.” 

XX

Olivia is amazing, and she came through. She told Cash that she and I were planning on rooming together tonight but that she was missing him, and he gladly switched rooms with me, all too focused on his relationship. I’m furious at him, but I pretend that I’m not. He’s too wrapped up to notice something’s off with me. 

Besides, my happiness with Colson makes up for it. I’m in pure bliss, knowing he’s mine and I’m his. I’m a mix between giddy and nervous as I lie on the hotel bed. Colson is in the shower. He insisted he take one even though I assured him I don’t mind being with him, post-concert and sweaty. It’s kind of endearing actually. He cares so much about this. He wants it to be perfect, I can tell.

So do I. I fluctuate constantly between scared and turned on. Once Colson is out of the shower and here with me, I’ll feel better. He turns off the shower and I tense up, fidgeting on the bed. This is happening. This is happening very soon.

Colson comes out of the bathroom in a pair of boxer briefs, hair still wet and messy from being towel dried. He looks amazing, as always. I love the way his briefs hug him just right, and I have an urge to tell him to turn around so I can check out his ass, but I can’t seem to find my voice.

He crosses the room to me, standing at the side of the bed, and reaches out to tuck my hair behind my ear. “How you doing, pretty girl?” he asks softly. 

I bite my lip and reach out for him. “Good,” I say, voice nearly a whisper. He sits on the bed with his back against the headboard, then pulls me into his lap. He slides his hands up and down my sides, admiring the silky slip I’m wearing. “You’re gorgeous,” he murmurs, looking up at me with those ice blue eyes. “Can’t believe you’re mine.”

I bite my lip and then lean in to kiss him. His kisses always relax me, so it will calm me down. Colson’s big hands land on my ass and squeeze, and I start to grind against him, but for some reason, I’m not as turned on as I usually am. It probably has something to do with the giant knot of anxiety in my stomach. 

Colson notices. Of course he does. He seems to know me better than I know myself. “Hey,” he murmurs, cupping my face in his hands. His brow is furrowed in concern and he’s frowning. “What’s wrong, baby?”

I’m embarrassed at the fact that my eyes are watering. This whole thing is so embarrassing. Why is this so hard for me? It feels like everyone else can get naked so easily. I’m 23 goddamn years old. What is wrong with me?

“Hey, Pres,” Colson coos, pulling me in close for a hug. Strong arms wrap around my waist and hold my close. “Shh, baby, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as my tears soak his neck. I’m shaking like a leaf and I’m so humiliated. 

Colson laughs softly. “Oh, baby, you have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing.” He kisses my shoulder and rocks me a bit. “Pres? Can you look at me?”

I don’t move. It’s too fucking embarrassing.

“Presley,” he says. “Hey, what’s your middle name?” 

“Maeve.”

“Presley Maeve Carver,” he says, and my mouth twitches. “Will you just fuckin’ look at me? Please?”

I take a deep breath and finally do as I’m told, pulling back from our embrace. Immediately, Colson’s hands are on my face, wiping away my tears. He smiles sweetly at me and instantly, my anxiety starts to edge back down. I sniffle, feeling so vulnerable, but so very safe. How does Colson do it? Make me feel like nothing and no one can hurt me.

“Pres,” he says. “When I asked you to be my girlfriend, I wasn’t asking because I thought it meant you’d sleep with me.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I asked you to be my girlfriend because I love everything about you. You’re perfect just as you are. Okay?” 

I hesitate, but then nod.

“Baby, there’s never any pressure,” he says. “I love what we do together. I’m not in any rush to have sex with you. I mean, I would love to, don’t get me wrong.”

"I want to,” I say with a sniffle. “It just doesn’t feel right. Not right now.”

Colson looks around. “Kind of impersonal at a hotel, huh?”

I nod timidly. 

Colson nods slowly. “We’ll be in LA in a week,” he says. “That’s where my house is. No one else will be around. We’ll have all the time in the world.”

I relax immediately. “That sounds better,” I admit. “Are you sure you’re okay with waiting?”

“Pres, I’d wait forever for you,” he blurts. And then he clears his throat, cheeks reddening. But his words have me biting back a smile. 

I love you. The words want to burst out of me so badly, but I hold them in. Not yet. It’s still so soon. Even though the words read extremely true, even more so after tonight. 

Colson

I can’t get back to LA soon enough.

It’s not because I can’t wait to have sex with Presley. I mean, of course I’m looking forward to it. I love her and I want to show her. I want to connect with her in that way. But that’s why I’m so happy to be back home. Time alone at my house will give us more time to connect, and maybe even talk about what the future will hold. 

I can’t believe I ever wanted to marry Megan. In hindsight, I’m so fucking glad I was just her rebound because if we were still together, I never would’ve found out what real love is. I never would’ve connected with Presley like this. And when I say this girl was made for me, I mean it.

The longer we’re together, the more I notice things about her. She has freckles. Tiny, almost invisible freckles. They came out when we were in The Maldives and she got a tan. She also has a birthmark in her inner thigh the shape of a chicken leg. Not even kidding. It’s hilarious and cute. When she laughs really hard, she snorts, and her nose wrinkles in the cutest way. I know I’m in deep because it’s the little things I love the most.

Our plane landed a couple of hours ago and we just got back to my house. Our suitcases are in my room and Presley stands in the doorway, looking around. I love my room. My bed is huge, I have blackout curtains on every window for prime sleeping, and it’s designed for comfort. I spend more time in here than in any other room in the house. 

I come up behind Presley and wrap my arms around her waist. She leans back against me and sighs. “I love your house, Col,” she says. “It’s so nice. It’s so you.”

I grin and press a kiss to the top of her head. “Thank you.” I let go of her and cross the room, tearing off my shirt. “I need a shower,” I announce.

“Me too,” Presley agrees. 

I lean on the doorframe of the bathroom and look her up and down. “Come shower with me,” I say.

Presley’s eyes immediately darken with lust and she bites her lip, tucking one leg behind the other. “Okay,” she says, voice small, but I can tell she wants it. I smirk and drop my jeans, stepping out of them, leaving me in only a pair of boxer briefs. Presley’s eyes widen slightly and she peels off her t-shirt and tugs down her leggings. Slowly, I stalk towards her, my eyes on hers the entire time, and when I get to her, I slip my hands into the sides of her panties and push them down. She gulps as she steps out of them. I lift her hands to my shoulders and then expertly unlatch her bra, tugging it down her arms. She grabs my boxer briefs and tugs them down, too, and finally, we’re both naked together.

The sexual tension in this room is absolutely unreal. Ever since our night in the hotel, we haven’t even had a second of alone time. It seems like someone’s always there, and more often than not, it’s Cash. My friend, my enemy. God, the guy makes me mad, but I’m also terrified of what’s going to happen when we tell him the truth. Will he get up and punch me out? Will he leave? I have no idea.

But right now, I can’t bring myself to care, because Presley stands in front of me, gorgeously naked, and soon enough, I will have all of her. I’ll be inside of her, and I’ll show her that I love her. That she never needs to be afraid again. That she can trust me. A shiver rolls down my spine at the mere thought of it. 

I take her hand and pull her with me into the bathroom where I start my shower and pull two fluffy towels from my cabinet. I throw them in the towel warmer and turn it on, and Presley lifts a brow. I smirk and shrug. She shakes her head and grins. “Rich people shit,” she says, and I laugh. But my laugh cuts off abruptly when she steps into my space and curls her fingers around my already half hard dick. I swallow hard and look down at her, letting my hands move down her back. I love how confident she’s getting.

Wordlessly, we step into the shower. Immediately, Pres goes for the shampoo and lathers some in her hands. “Turn around,” she says. My brows raise but I do. I tilt my head back with a groan when I feel Presley’s long fingernails against my scalp. My eyes close and my mouth hangs open.

“That feels so good,” I moan, and I make a mental note to ask her to play with my hair more often. Presley takes her time shampooing my hair, then adds some conditioner. I lean towards the water to rinse it and then grab the bottle of shampoo. I gesture for her to turn around and when she does, I stare shamelessly at her ass. I can’t help it. 

It’s my turn to massage the suds into her long hair and her turn to sigh and melt into the touch. I watch as goosebumps rise on her skin, even under the hot water, and smile a little. So sensitive and reactive, wherever I touch. Once her hair is rinsed and conditioned, she grabs the bottle of body wash and looks up at me. I gulp. 

She pours some of the soap into her hands and massages it in until it lathers, then gestures for me to turn around and starts with my back. She takes her time rubbing the soap into my shoulders and then slowly down my back. Finally, I feel her hands land on my ass and squeeze gently, and I can’t help but smirk. No idea why but Presley loves my ass so much, but she’s obsessed with it. She massages my cheeks and I chuckle silently. 

“Turn around,” she says, and when I do, I notice how dark her eyes have gotten. Desire swirls in my gut and I pull her close. She grabs some more soap and slowly starts rubbing it into my chest, her eyes following her hands. Down my stomach, she admires me, looking at me like I’m the most perfect thing she’s ever seen, and out of fucking nowhere, I’m hit with a huge wave of vulnerability. No one has ever looked at me like this. No one. Shit, and now my throat is tight. What the fuck is happening?

“Pres,” I say, voice rough with emotion, and she lifts her eyes to mine. She’s so stunning, her green eyes sparkling as she looks at me, hanging on my every word. I sigh and run a hand over her wet hair, my other hand sliding down her waist. 

“Cols?” she questions when I don’t say anything else. Her hands continue to stroke my stomach, my hips. I swallow the lump in my throat and keep looking at her. I can’t say anything. My throat is too tight. She softens a little and smiles gently at me. “I know, baby,” she murmurs. “I know.” She leans in and kisses me, and the kiss is everything. It’s so full of love and care, and I realize all at once that this is it. There’s no one else for me. Presley is my present and my future. I’ll never feel for anyone the things I feel for Presley. 

I wrap her up in my arms and hold her so tightly that my arms tremble a little. I’m realizing that for the first time, I might actually make love instead of fuck. The vulnerability is so striking that it scares me, but I can be vulnerable with Presley. I’ve always been able to. 

We hurry through the rest of our shower and once we’re dried off, I grab Pres by the hips and back her slowly into the room. She watches me the whole time, trusting me to get her safely to my bed. Once the backs of her knees hit the bed, she sits. Her hands are all over me: my waist, my stomach, my chest. My ass, my dick. At this point, I’m so hard that I’m leaking but it doesn’t matter. Tonight is about Presley and showing her that sex doesn’t need to be scary. It can be safe and loving. Shit, I’m learning as much as she is. 

“Get in bed, baby,” I tell her, and she does as she’s told, pulling back the covers to slide between my soft sheets. She sighs in pleasure and scoots over to make room for me. I crawl in beside her and slide my palm over her stomach, feeling the way it tenses slightly. I swear to god, her eyes haven’t left mine since we got here. 

Finally, we’re lying side by side in my bed, with no plans for the day, no reason to rush, and no one else around. We have all the time in the world together, just like we did in The Maldives, and I know that relaxes Presley, knowing she doesn’t have to rush. I know she’s scared. Of course she is. Having sex for the first time is a big deal whether or not people like to pretend it isn’t. I need this to be good for Presley, to be special. She deserves it, especially after holding out for so long.

For now, all I want to do is kiss her. I pull her closer so her leg drapes over my waist, and as my hand slides down the curve of her back, I press my mouth to hers. Her little sigh travels right to my cock and I groan softly, teasing her lips with my tongue. She opens her mouth for me and I graze my tongue against hers, teasing her. I love the way she tastes. 

Rolling her onto her back, I hover over her, taking control over the kiss. Presley is helpless to do anything but moan and pant as I melt her with kisses. I can feel her squirm beneath me, and I know she wants this. I know she’s wet just from kissing me, and I can’t wait any longer to feel her.

I let my fingers trace down her neck, and then I squeeze her breast gently. I love the way her tits fit in my hands, love the way her back arches when my thumbs brush over her sensitive nipples. Love the whines that fall from her lips when I play with her tits. I groan and roll onto my back, pulling her to straddle me so my hands are free. 

She sits up and watches me as I bring both hands up, cupping her breasts before squeezing them gently. She mewls and her head falls back, stomach tensing as I roll my thumbs over her nipples. “Colson,” she whines, hips jerking a little, and I know she’s fucking soaked. She gets wet so easily, so sinfully fucking wet, and I can’t wait to bury myself inside her. 

“Feels good, huh baby?” I say lowly, and she nods, brow furrowing with pleasure. “Yeah. That's my girl.” She practically melts into a puddle at my words, biting down on that sweet bottom lip. “Pres,” I rasp. I can’t stop talking to her. I think she likes it when I talk to her in bed. “Tell me. Are you wet for me, baby?”

“Fuck yes,” she moans, and as she does, she grinds against my bare cock. I let out a stuttering gasp as she slides against me, and instantly, my dick is wet. Holy shit. This girl is going to kill me. Cardiac arrest at 29. This is where it ends. 

“Do that again,” I plead, voice tight as my hands abandon her tits in favor of gripping that ass. Immediately, she does as she’s told, and the way my dick fits against her is too perfect. Suddenly, the words are there on the tip of my tongue. I love you. But I hold them in. Not yet.

“Fuck, Presley,” I grunt as she continues to grind on me, rolling her hips more quickly. She gasps as her hips stutter, and my eyes flick up to her face. She’s in total ecstasy, jaw slack and eyes squeezed shut. I lift my hips on her next grind and those eyes fly open as she cries out, pressing her hands to my chest.

“Ohh, Colson, fuck,” she moans, voice shaky. “Fuck, baby, I–” She doesn’t finish her sentence, and part of me wonders if she’s holding the words back, too. But that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is the angel falling apart above me right now, rolling her wet pussy against my cock over and over. 

“That’s it,” I groan, digging my fingertips into her ass. “Make yourself come, Pres. Grind that clit on me until you explode.”

“O-ohhh,” Presley whines, hips jerking at my words. “Y-yeah…”

“Come on, baby, tell me you’re close,” I plead.

She nods frantically. “Y-yes, so fucking cl-close, Col.” Her voice is so beautifully broken, and I grip her ass harder so she grinds into me with more pressure, and as she does, her body goes rigid. Her spine straightens up as her breath catches in her throat, and then she wails, spasming against me. She gushes around my cock until I can feel her arousal trickle down my balls. It’s the sexiest, most erotic thing I’ve ever felt. 

When she’s done, she collapses on my chest and pants. I stroke her hair as she comes down, and I focus on the feel of her heartbeat against my chest. When she catches her breath, she lifts her head to look at me. Her hand finds mine and she squeezes. “Hey,” she says softly, those eyes soft and loving as they look at me.

“Pres,” I sigh, kissing her gently. 

“Col, I want you,” she says. “All of you. I’m ready, baby, please.” She sounds almost frantic and all it does is turn me on more, and fuck, I’m definitely coming way too soon tonight. It’s been so long since I’ve been inside someone, and she’s different. I’m in love with her. I’m ten times more attracted to her than I ever have been to anyone else, and I feel like a teenager again, worried about busting the second I get balls deep. 

I swallow hard and gently roll her onto her back. Reaching into my nightstand, I come back with a condom. Her eyes light up a little. “Can I put it on you?” she asks.

I whine lowly in the back of my throat and my cock twitches, reminding me of just how little control I have. “Of course,” I tell her. She wets her lips and takes the packet from me, ripping it open. She pulls out the condom and examines it for a second. I push the blankets down, making it easier for her, and she places it over the crown of my dick. I shudder at the feeling and watch as she rolls the latex down. I don’t mind condoms. Better safe than sorry. I just hope it feels good for her.

Once the condom is on, I shift so I’m hovering over her, and then I get between her legs. “Just relax,” I murmur, leaning in to pepper gentle kisses over her collarbones. I stroke her hips gently, wanting her to be as relaxed and pliant as she possibly can be. This is going to hurt. There’s no way around it. 9 inches is a lot for anyone to take, but especially a virgin. For the first time, I feel guilty about my size. The last thing I want to do is hurt Pres, but I know it won’t always hurt. 

She looks up at me with worried eyes and I kiss her gently. “Baby, I promise I’ll go so slow,” I assure her. “You’re in control here, okay? Do you trust me?”

“More than anything,” she says, pushing my hair back gently. “Just…be careful, okay?”

I nod, kissing her cheek softly. “Deep breath for me.” I reach down and grip my cock, rubbing the tip up and down over her clit. Her ass tightens and her hips lift slightly and she gasps at the sensation, still sensitive from her recent orgasm, I’m assuming. I guide my dick lower until it dips just slightly into her pussy, enough to gather her arousal and disperse it a little more. 

My heart is pounding so fucking hard I feel like I might pass out, and suddenly, I can’t keep it in anymore. I press inside of her, just an inch, and when she hisses, eyes growing worried, I touch her face. “Presley,” I say. “Look at me.” Her eyes find mine and when I see her relax, I know it’s time. I don’t know why, but I laugh softly. “Presley, I love you,” I say finally. 

Pres freezes, studying my face as if she doesn’t believe me, but when she realizes I’m telling the truth, her smile is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. “Cols,” she says breathlessly. “God. I love you, too.” 

I had no idea how much I needed to hear that. I relax and kiss her hard, and when I do, I slide just a little deeper. She whimpers and I have half a mind to pull out, so scared of hurting her, but then I feel her long nails dig into my asscheeks. “Don’t stop,” she gasps, shuddering beneath me. “S’okay.” 

“You’re doing so fucking good,” I say into her mouth, my legs shaking as I try to take my time. “Keep breathing, my love, keep breathing.” She bites down on my lip gently as I sink deeper inside, a whine keening out of her. We pant into each other’s mouths as slowly, I start to fill her, and holy fuck, she’s so tight. She squeezes my cock so tightly that I can barely breathe. Nothing has ever felt so fucking good before. 

“Almost there,” I tell her tightly, finding her hand and lacing our fingers together. “Doing so good, baby, I love you so much.” 

Presley lets out a helpless little sound and puts her hand to the back of my head. “Colson, I love you,” she whimpers, and when I pull back slightly to look into her eyes, I can see they’re watering. I open my mouth to ask if she needs me to stop, but she shakes her head and shushes me. “This isn’t because it hurts,” she murmurs. It's emotion. Fuck. I’m doing this all right. She feels safe and loved and I did that for her. Finally, I drive myself home with another slow surge of my hips, and Pres gasps. 

“Oh shit,” she mutters.

I look at her, a little worried, but she just laughs breathily. “Cols,” she says. “I’m not a virgin anymore.”

I can’t help but laugh too, and then we’re kissing. It’s messy and wet and passionate and so goddamn perfect. I could kiss her forever. Finally, she makes a soft sound and lifts her hips, giving my asscheek a squeeze. I retract my hips and carefully roll them forward. Presley breaks the kiss to let out a shaky moan, her brows knitting together. “Shit,” she pants.

“This okay?” I ask, and she nods fast. 

“God, yes.” Her voice is so laced with pleasure that I swear to god my balls tighten up. Fuck, I need to try to make this last. 

She’s wet as fuck, seriously soaked, which makes it easier to start sliding in and out of her at a slow pace. “Oh my god,” she chokes out, wrapping one leg around me. “God, Cols, feels so f-fuckin’ good–”

“Uhh, fuck,” I stutter out, unable to help myself, because it feels fucking good for me too. Way too good. My dick is wrapped so tightly in her warm, wet walls, and with every roll of my hips, our abdomens press together. I can feel every inch of the woman I love, and much to my surprise, her eyes aren’t the only ones that are wet. 

Burying my face in her neck, I try to hold back my emotions, but it’s been so long since I’ve cried and I’m scared it’s all going to come pouring out at once. I focus on the heat of her pussy, the feel of her soft skin against mine. Our hands are clutched tightly together and her nipples graze my chest and my abdomen is clenching as I pick up the pace. But Presley is whining and moaning and making the sexiest sounds I’ve ever heard, and she’s enjoying this. I know she is. She doesn’t even have to tell me.

“Presley – fuck!” I gasp, a familiar warmth rising in my stomach after way too short a time. Christ, it hasn’t even been five minutes. “Holy shit, baby, y-you’re gonna make me come,” I manage. 

“Mm,” she moans, digging her nails into my back. “Fuck, Col, I love you, baby, I love you so much!”

It’s her profession of love that does it for me. It’s all too much for my emotions and my body and I let go, coming so hard my vision whites out for a second. I’ve never felt so safe and secure and loved in my whole life, and as I rut against Presley, I wonder how anything could be more blissful than this. 

Finally, once I’m done, I stroke her hip and very gently pull out of her. She whimpers at the emptiness and I shush her gently, sliding down between her legs. I lift them over my shoulders and she looks down at me, panting. “Shh, baby, gonna make you feel better, I promise.” I close my eyes as my tongue meets her swollen clit, and I apply just the right amount of pressure. 

When I close my lips around her clit, I know what’s going to happen. She cries out, legs pressing against my head, and I wrap my hands around those beautiful, trembling thighs. I’m not taking my time here. I’m making her feel better, I’m making her come, and I want to taste every fucking second of it. Letting my tongue drift self-indulgently into her pussy, I groan at the taste there, at the way her arousal is just everywhere. I’ve never been with someone who gets this wet and I go absolutely fucking wild for it.

“Colson!” she cries out, pushing both hands needily into my hair as her body hunches, trembling beneath me. “Ohh, fuck, I’m gonna come–”

I moan against her, pulling her closer as I prepare myself, and my eyes slip closed in pure bliss as she bucks against me, her orgasm causing her pussy to flex against my mouth. I moan, enjoying every second, and god, I don’t want this to end, I want to be back inside her so bad, but that can wait. We have all the time in the world to do this all again. 

Finally, I rest my head against her thigh and pant. We both struggle to catch our breath, her hand still weakly in my hair, my face covered in her release, filled condom still wrapped around my cock. I wince at the latter sensation and finally pull back, rolling the latex off of me. I sigh in relief and toss it into the trash, then settle into bed beside her. 

She rolls her head over to look at me and she’s so blissed out that it takes my breath away. Her green eyes are glazed, her lips are red, and her mouth hangs open. She smiles softly at me and leans in for a kiss. I pull her close, savoring her kiss, and finally hum as I pull back. “Hey,” I murmur. “You need to pee.”

“How would you know?” she scoffs, and I laugh.

“I mean, I don’t know if you have to pee, but you need to so you don’t get an infection,” I explain.

She lifts a brow. “You’re smart, Colson Baker,” she says, and I grin sheepishly. She smiles too and gives me one more kiss before rolling out of bed and walking on trembling legs to the bathroom. “Don’t listen!” she yells from the bathroom and I laugh, rolling onto my back.

“Can’t help it,” I call back. “It’s quiet in here.”

Presley groans and I snicker, burying myself in the blankets to give her some privacy. Holy shit. Presley just gave me her virginity. We told each other we love each other. I can’t believe everything that has happened in such a short period of time. 

I open my eyes when I feel the blankets lift, and I open an arm for my girlfriend, for the woman I love. She settles into my chest and sighs. I smile and kiss her forehead. “I mean it, Pres,” I murmur. “I love you.”

“Yeah,” she says, tracing one of my tattoos. “I mean it, too. I love you, too, Colson.”

I can’t help but smile. I’m not sure I’ll ever get tired of hearing that. “How is this real?” I ask.

Presley laughs softly. “I don’t know. I’m not complaining.”

“You okay, baby?” I ask.

She nods. “Yeah. I really am. It’s you, Col. I trust you so much,” she says, looking up at me. “Thank you for making it perfect. You take such good care of me.”

“I always will,” I tell her, and she softens, leaning in to kiss me. 

As we lie here together in my bed, kissing and cuddling and talking, I realize I’ve never been happier. Presley was right. I should’ve given a relationship a chance. And I’m so glad I did, because Presley is absolutely everything to me. I can see our life together unfolding and it doesn’t scare me. 

All it does is make me super fucking happy.

[kedreeva]

Hihi flaw-anon here again 👋 Tell me when I'm annoying please 😅 But you talked about intersocial relationships and now I'm dying to hear how Eddie would be like in a romantic relationship. Would he want one and how would he be as a boyfriend? I feel like he'd definitely want a romantic relationship and he'd want emotional intimacy but considering his past and the whole I-don't-need-help thingy, he would have to work on himself to open up (by that I mean to learn to trust and open up and be vulnerable because he'd probably be afraid to be left).

And second: I feel like Max and Eddie share a lot of similarities (apart from their deaths being paraleled 🥴). They both had to deal with abuse and turbulent home lives and are used to retreating into their shells to deal with issues on their own instead of asking for help, and while they're proud and know their worth, they still are scared others could see their flaws and leave (others as in friends). They're emotionally intelligent and don't have problems showing emotions but opening up completely is hard for both of them but they both want to and start opening up as the story progresses; Max to Lucas and Eddie to Steve

I'll be real honest, considering we don't actually see him in any kind of romantic relationship (we mostly see him super stressed out at rock bottom or flying high with nonromantic goals like graduating), and we don't even really see him with narratively-intentional attempts at romance (which isn't to say his actor wasn't creating chaos with subtext, but textually he wasn't written into romance of his own), I think you could reasonable paint him however you wanted for how he'd be as a boyfriend. I think that's part of why he works SO well for shipping with whoever. He'd have chemistry with a brick wall, but what happens after... well, your guess is as good as mine, and also mine would be "whatever suits my needs best in the moment."

I think that Eddie and Max are indeed very similar, and I wholly believe they could have gotten on like a house on fire if they'd been given a chance. As it turns out, thinking about their potential dynamic is actually my favorite thing, I'm nearly 50k into a fic about the two of them adopting each other and surviving the upside down. She would give him so much shit and he would be delighted by this little spitfire skater. I would kill for her to see what having a good big brother is supposed to look like :(

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: Highland Beast by Heather McCollum

3.75/5. Releases 4/25/2023.

For when you're vibing with... hard on the outside, soft on the inside heroes, healer heroines, babies babies babies, and historical romance with a good dose of old school vibes.

Bas Sinclair, the youngest of the Sinclair brothers, was raised by his maddened father to be an embodiment of death--the literal Horseman of Death, in fact. As an adult, he abhors his role as the executioner of the land, but fulfills it anyway, living isolated and lonely. That is, until, he discovers a mysterious young woman named Shana in the woods, with a newborn baby that isn't hers...

I liked a lot about this one. I also had some issues. While I would say that I enjoyed it, and I'm totally gonna read the final book in the series, I wanted a little more for Bas.

Quick Takes:

--First off, I loved Bas. I'd been looking forward to his book through the first three installments of the series, and he didn't disappoint. He's huge and scary and trained to dispatch people easily... But he really just wants to plant bluebells and carve his little sculptures and tend to literally every animal that could come across his path. He's threatening and intimidating, but he's also a deeply awkward and shy precious angel who never did anything wrong, in his life ever. And I hated how he'd clearly been traumatized from literal birth... But I did also kind of deeply enjoy how that trauma manifested itself.

--The thing about this series is that you will not enjoy it if you don't enjoy... a bit of cheese. I say that affectionately; it's not a bad thing to me. It reads very old school. The heroes are hulking big men who almost pass out when their wives are in labor because they're too stressed. They throw around weird little jokes that sometimes make you go "a weird moment to make that comment, but okay". There's a big emphasis on FAMILY. The heroes recite apocalyptic Bible passages before killing people. Normal historical romance shit.... but maybe not so common today?

--I kind of love the unusual setting of late sixteenth century Scotland. It ain't medieval, it ain't Regency/Victorian. You get references to King James (who was, like, a supporting character in the third book). This book is more of a true insular Scottish romance, but the setting still feels very different in today's market.

--There is a lot of childbearing in this novel, and honestly, in the series in general. Shana is a midwife, and I do enjoy a midwife heroine. Two of the heroines of previous books are pregnant; one gives birth in this book, which gives you a lot of my series-favorite couple, Joshua and Kara (of Highland Warrior). There's discussion of birthing animals, and to be honest? The first book had a horse birth, the second book had a human birth, and the third involved a woman who'd just given birth (not the heroine). So maybe Heather just likes that, and that's okay. Normally I feel like that would annoy me, but for some reason the general vibe of this series make me... okay with it?

--What bothered me more was how Shana reacted to Bas. Her being scared of him in the beginning? Totally real and normal. Then they have this lovely romance, they have sex, there's a lot of emotional intimacy, and a Thing happens. And it's like... kind of obvious. Why it happens. And Shana is suddenly acting like this man she's fallen in love with could be a monster again? It just felt cheap and out of character, considering how common-sensical she'd been in the entire novel. To me, it read as a last minute attempt to inject drama. And I'm all about drama; but the drama has to make sense. A lot of the drama in this book did. That bit didn't.

The Sex Stuff:

There are a couple of sex scenes in this book, and they're good. Nothing crazy. I actually think that we could've gone further, as Bas, while not a virgin, is very inexperienced. I would've liked to see him try some other stuff. Also, to be fair to all the birthing scenes and pregnancies in this series--the Sinclair brothers NEVER pull out ever.

Mixed feelings, but I did enjoy it, and I really love Bas as a hero. Just keep all of this in mind if you decide to read.

Thanks to Netgalley and Entangled for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[typingdyslexiaisathing]

Beloved Wounded Angel (Trigun) fic

content: Vash the Stampede X OC, established relationship, romance, mention of violence, blood, injury, mature subject of sexual intimacy and making love.

It had been a hard day. Retha having to steer the tomas as Vash was tied to her back for them to get as far away from the bounty hunters as possible. The last town having been a local watering hole for a gang of bounty hunters. Which meant that Vash and Retha got pulled into yet another fight. Thankfully, the bounty hunters had ended up blowing up their vehicles for Retha to steal a tomas right out from under their noses. A tomas that had satchels full of money and supplies. Vash had sounded guilty about taking what wasn't theirs. But Retha had no qualms with theft after what the bounty hunters had put them through.

Retha sped the tomas over the sand dunes to spot a run down and abandoned gas station to head right for it. The building sturdy and at least a dozen barrels of water in the underground cellar. So Retha hefted a half conscious Vash off the tomas and into the cellar. The both of them taking a moment to sit and breathe. Vash giving a wince to keep his prosthetic hand over the bleeding cut in his shoulder where a stray bullet had clipped him. While Retha finally took notice of the blood slowly running down her side. Her top clearly ripped open from the barbed wire fence she had jumped over. So Retha gave a huff to then put a hand over her eyes and chuckle. "What a couple we make, eh? Filthy, leaking in places, and too tired to give a shit anymore. How's the shoulder?"

Vash got super quiet for Retha to turn her gaze to him. The blonde looking so angry and guilty as he grit his teeth to hiss in pure frustration. Hard and bitter words bitten out as he fumed, "It's not funny! They almost killed you, Retha! How can you joke about that?!" Retha gave a patient huff of air to then scoot closer and lace her hand in his. "Reality check. They almost killed both of us. But they ended up blowing up their vehicles and losing a bag full of money. While wasting a ton of ammo and resources for us to have more than when we started. I will take the obvious win and say I'm glad we made it."

The gunman gives a growl to close his eyes and squeeze Retha's hand back. A kind of acceptance settling over him as he shakes his head. "Meryl was right. Humans do crazy things for love. No wonder you never get mad at me for what danger and trouble keeps coming my way for you to get drawn into. Seriously, Retha. Half of me wants to leave you in a safe place and run as far as I can get to keep you alive. But the other half of me... I can't live this life without you in it... After all the decades of choosing solitude... The very thought of losing you..." Vash gives a hard sob for tears to fall as he breaks. "The very thought of losing you scares me to death... Like someone crushed my chest to ruin my insides... It twists my heart and leaves me hurting in ways I never knew were possible..."

Retha lifted their hands to sigh. Her words warm and sweet. "Silly bird. That is what falling in love does. The feeling is mutual. Now then. Let's get patched up." Vash rubs at his eyes to nod and strip out of his coat. While Retha got out the medical kit and opened a barrel of water to use. Yet Vash soon moved to sit Retha down when she wobbled on her feet. His gaze pointed for Retha to take the hint and stay still as he cleaned her bleeding side. The needle and thread used with practiced movements as Vash stitched Retha up first. While Retha chose to start eating a package of beef jerky that was in their stolen supplies. It didn't take Vash long to tend to Retha's injury. So Retha was easily able to do the same for Vash. Washing his shoulder to then stitch the cut closed with effortless movements. Vash downing another full package of beef jerky on his own as he stayed still for Retha. Until the both of them were bandaged up and cleaned of the blood. Retha then got an idea to say, "Hey. Let's see if there's a mattress we might sneak down here."

The two then saw to exploring the gas station interior. Finding a small bedroom with a clean mattress and bedsheets for them to move down into the cellar. Some spare clothes in the dresser drawers for them to take as well and bring back down to the cellar. Retha even gets the idea to lightly ransack the main room of the gas station in case someone comes snooping. The two soon back in the cellar and folding some of the clothes to make pillows. But Vash seems distracted as Retha flops down onto the mattress to carefully stretch. Her gaze soon turning to him to raise an eyebrow. "Okay, Vash. What are you thinking? The only time you get this quiet is when your brain is driving you in circles."

Vash goes very still for Retha to wait. But then Vash moves to actually begin stripping off all of his clothes. Making Retha go wide eyed to blush from nose to toes as Vash speaks. "No more waiting for the perfect moment. Every time I've talked myself out of this, I spent days kicking myself for it. Retha. I want to... No. I need to give you all of me... No more excuses or holding back..." Vash was soon barren of all his coverings for Retha to gasp and openly marvel at the sight before her. His scars and skin illuminated by the lanterns they had found and lit. Retha noted how Vash was blushing as red as his coat in several places. His gaze avoiding her as he rubbed his flesh hand to the back of his head. "Retha. Please. Have sex with me and make us lovers. Give me all of you."

Retha took a few deep breaths to then start to giggle in sheer emotion. Which had Vash flinch to then give a gasp when Retha jumped up to grab him and give him a passionate kiss. His mewl of desire escaping as Retha all but devoured his mouth with her own. Which left Vash breathless for Retha to lean back and speak into his neck. "Better idea. You strip me down and mark me as yours for the rest of our lives. So get that perfectly sculpted ass in gear." Vash gave a shudder before his growl escaped his throat. All his trepidation and uncertainty snapping for pure passion and desire to take over. So Vash swept Retha up to just rip what was left of her shirt in half. The material falling to the ground as Retha hung onto Vash for dear life. Her pants soon tugged off and tossed for Vash to nip and bite and huff against Retha's neck. Her back hitting the wall for them to kiss and taste. Hands roaming over exposed flesh to tickle and tease. Retha gave a few squeaks to then moan when Vash found a particular place to leave a very big hickey mark. Which enticed her to grab Vash by the back of his head and lunge in to start nibbling on his neck against his pulse. The blonde gasping in pleasure to then turn them and have their bodies fall onto the mattress. Which makes Retha laugh before she muses, "Here we go."

The next few hours are spent in joyful abandon as Vash and Retha make love. Teaching each other what they enjoy for maximum pleasure. An age old and sacred form of worship in the dance of two souls joining into one. Offering themselves in complete vulnerability to the other and savoring this moment as if nothing else matters. Until the two are laying on the mattress in a tangled and sweaty mess. Vash grinning like an idiot as Retha used his chest for a pillow. His whole body awash in bliss and contentment that is rooted in unconditional love. A genuine laugh escaping his lips as he hugs Retha tight. "If I didn't know better, I'd say my heart exploded from all that. Unless I died and I'm in Heaven." Retha snickers to sound highly amused. "Nope. You're still alive. Heart is still thumping away against my ear. We should call it a night and think about resting." Vash huffs out a laugh to sound amused. "After all that fun and chaos. You expect me to calm down and sleep after this?" Retha chuckles to then move up and sneak a kiss to Vash's lips. "Once we get cleaned up and see to finding our sleeping clothes, you will want to sleep for a day. So time to settle in for the night."

Vash nods to help Retha with getting a pan of water hot for them to see to a kind of sponge bath for each other. A few kisses shared as they treasure the afterglow of their commitment to each other. Vash soon laying their sleeping bags on the mattress to also fetch the blankets and sweep Retha into his arms. The two soon laying in the bed for Vash to whisper a promise. "Retha. I have been so thankful that you came into my life. It might be selfish to say this. But I will love you forever and will never let you go. What future waits for us, I will give everything I am to the future that has you with me." Retha hugged Vash to sigh and give her own words of promise. "Together we live. Together in love. Forever and always. Sounds like a plan to me. Now go to sleep."

[sips-tea-cutely]

Bathing together for the first time

osamu dazai, chūya nakahara

cw: a lil nsfw, implied sh (osamu), maki strayed off topic and ranted…

@your--local--freak

#Osamu Dazai

despite how flirtatious he is usually, i think he’d only do this really later into the relationship (1 1/2 year?) it’s something dazai considers pretty intimate and we all know how dazai is with intimacy…

would be more into showers? honestly, he doesn’t have a bias. it isn’t cause he’s rushing to work or anything it’s just that a shower has more freedom to tug at your waist and maybe even a quickie before work 🫶

the first time would be after a long mission. after meeting him at cafe uzumaki, you noticed how whiny and exhausted the brunette was. “haah… my legs are like spaghetti~… darling, please carry me~” he groans. arriving home, he flops on the dining table while you start to prepare a bath for him— going all out too; bath salts, aromatherapy candles, im so jealous </33

dragging a whiny detective who is, not to mention 5’9 is not an easy task. “i was re- eh? is—is this for me?!” he exclaimed. “well, yea it’s not like im showing you a bath i made for myself…” you whisper sarcastically, stealing a giggle from the detective. “hm, do you know what would make me the happiest? if you[!] joined me <3. don’t blush like that, you’ve seen me naked plenty of times” he teasingly frowned.

getting into the bath with you, he dips his whole body in, almost as if he’s trying to drown himself… just kidding, dear~! quietly snickering, he moves back up so that most of his chest is visible, dozens of scars on his shoulders and a prominent slash on his stomach, despite knowing him for years over, it is now you realize how truly little you know about him.

“darling! did no one tell you it’s rude to stare? my…” he grumbles lightheartedly before laughing. his laughs soon die out though once he realizes you aren’t laughing. imagine the mafia prodigy’s shock when you wrapped yourself tightly around him while lightly tracing the faded wounds collected over the years.

laying his head to rest on the bath’s counter, his senses are filled with the overwhelming scent of lavender while his heart tightens in fear and comfort. nothing like this has ever happened to dazai, what should he do in such a situation like this? despite his fear of being loved, this was just to resplendent to avoid, he needed more of these affections, more from you.

despite how scared of love he is, he wants more, call him greedy, call him selfish— all that matters is that you’ll be there to love him just as he will the same

#Chuuya Nakahara

he’d suggest pretty early in on the relationship (after 2-4 weeks of living together). he’s relatively open to anything romantic since well, it’s you! you’re just too lovely to say no to <3

prefers baths! of course, he wouldn’t turn down showering with you either, considering his line of work, any kind of affection is better than nothing. however, he does find baths together much more romantic especially if some slow jazz is playing

ok in the first bullet, i lied. he didn’t really suggest per se, but was pushed into a corner tbh. he came back home quite late and didn’t hear his 4 different alarms ringing and by the time he woke up— shit, it’s already 10! if he didn’t come in by 11:30, mori would probably kick his ass back and forth </33

ah! you were just preparing for your shift as well, mind if he… slides into your shower? wink wink 🤭🤭

he quickly explained his situation to you and being a lovely s/o, agreed <33. honestly rushed it since he was late and all but it was kinda hot seeing steam rush out of the shower as water poured on you both, his silky hair damp as his slim fingers run through them…

later in the day, he felt rlly bad since he’s a sucker for romance and that was just… not it. during his lunch break he went out to a belgian store near his favorite bar and bought some chocolates as well as a bouquet of white orchids, the flowers of apology (totally didn’t choose a for a family member flower to foreshadow marriage thats so wack….)

‘came back on break. wtf is this [insert picture]’ ‘oh i felt bad abt this morning… might not be able 2 go in during ur break tho ig…’ ‘omg how abt u join me later then and make it up to me? 🥰’ ‘[…] so im thinking ill come home a quarter to 11’

despite the conversation, he really did mean everything. having a dangerous job and not to mention constantly putting you in danger is a red flag, the least he could’ve done was be the ideal boyfriend to you, right? no, it’s time to stop thinking like that. love isn’t walking on eggshells with spikes on them; love is unconditional and loyal, it loves no matter the flaws or imperfections. and, god if that isn’t the most romantic thing in the world… 💖

[vrisrezis]

My mcu favs w/ crush and relationship hcs (pt 2) (not proof read)

- gonna be honest she’s not familiar with romantic feelings, takes her awhile to even realize what she feels for you

- you make her heart all melty and soft, you make her face heat up, you make her question everything she does

- you make her feel even giddy and overly happy and it kinda annoys her tbh

- she thinks you’re out to get her or something and have casted some spell but when she asks thor he has no idea what she’s talking about until she describes what she’s feeling and he just laughs and thinks she’s joking

- she’s like no. I’m serious ?

- to which thor would tell her what it is, he has a bit of an idea because of Jane

- tbh loving somebody romantically, caring about somebody to this extent scares her

- she’s lost so many people and because of it became a raging alcoholic

- if she lost you she doesn’t know what could happen

- she tries to push you away but quickly realizes she doesn’t like doing that to herself or you

- asks you to go out drinking with her often if you’re up for that

- she’d find it funny how easily you get drunk but has no problem taking care of you, in fact she would probably drink with you more often so she can take care of you because it’s the closest to intimacy she feels she can have with you (no she is not taking advantage of you or anything, it’s more just the thought of taking care of you feels intimate to her)

- also you’re cute while you’re drunk

- trans with you so you can be tougher if you’re not that tough already

- tbh asks thor to do the same with you, whether it be cuz she’s not around or because you need the extra training

- eventually Thor’s at the point where he’s like you gotta tell em and she’s like no 🖕

- but she does eventually

- she’s kinda awkward about it but she tries to sound confident with it ^^

- dating you is very different than just being her friend tbh

- like you might’ve been surprised at her asking you out, even if it’s kinda obvious to anybody that knows her well

- to any stranger you just seemed like friends with a strange rivalry relationship but that’s really not the case

- she’s much more flirty in a relationship, since she’s confident you’re with her for a reason.. she’s not the type to doubt your relationship, you’re with her for a reason

- much more protective in battle though

- she doesn’t say she loves you enough, but she shows it through her actions

- asks thor about the romantic stuff but he has no idea really so she goes to Bruce who kinda has more of a grasp on it

- tries to take you to like normal restaurant dates... kinda awkward since she had no midgardian clothes at that point

- lotsa quick kisses on the cheek or forehead

- likes cuddling as she finds it just.. kinda intimate ?

- still likes to take care of a drunk you

- quick pecks on your lips are very often

- doesn’t like the idea of going on a lot of Thor’s saving the world shits unless you’re on board with it

- thor jokes about how she’s all badass and “I don’t give a fuck about saving the world or anyone else” until it comes to you

- she kicks his ass

- but he’s not wrong

- when she likes you she’s a bit like wtf

- like she doesn’t realize it for a moment until jane explains it

- before she was her usual talkative self but there was a lot of nervousness and stuttering at times, just unusual awkwardness that made Jane raise a brow

- it makes more sense now

- since she’s aware she likes you now she often asks you to hang out, to help her out, whatever it is

- the gal is clingy af what can she say

- lotsa hugs she loves giving you hugs often does them for a greeting

- just an excuse to hold you though tbh

- at times will get tongue tied

- she tries to flirt but it just makes you confused she’s not good at it you’re not even gonna know she’s flirting

- eventually grows impatient about it and is just like “I LIKE U DUMMY! DATE ME!”

- and now you date

- she gets into things a bit quickly so if it’s too fast tell her, hopefully not a dealbreaker

- dates are often because she’s got a lot of creative ideas for dates ^^

- still hugs you as a greeting but a lot longer and intimate and a kiss follows after

- speaking of kisses she LOVES to kiss you and she does so very often

- very needy

- big cuddler

- just like “CUDDLE ME”

- so demanding

- often talks about you and how much she loves you she can’t help it

- but if anybody did the same she like “shut up nobody cares”

- even with you though she’s blunt, but much nicer about it

- likes going on just good dates, restaurants , picnic, whatever

- she eats all the food

- tries to impress you so she might say she was best friends with thor at a point

- and that she’s helped him out before and .. yeah etc

- she likes buying you clothes tbh

- especially if you don’t dress good let her dress you up pls

- would be sad if you didn’t get along with Jane

- it would be a dealbreaker actually

- she knows she��s a bit much so she feels happy you love her anyways

- vision of course will not understand his feelings

- he understands you definitely make him feel something, that something being good

- for a moment he might think he feels like this is how best friends feel towards another, or even thinking he sees you in a familial light

- tony quickly tells him that is not the case

- once vision understands what he really feels he’s not sure how to go about it, he can be quite oblivious

- he’s aware of this but still .. what does he do?

- asks tony for advice, he tells him to flirt and see how it goes

- but tbh that doesn’t work, you don’t even realize he’s flirting gonna be honest

- he’s just bad at it

- so he tries to just simply state his affection, that doesn’t work because he doesn’t know how to word it without it sounding platonic, or getting too nervous about going too far

- he doesn’t wanna overstep boundaries

- tony is in pain watching this btw

- tony eventually is just like “he wants to know if you would like to go on a date” “w- I.. yes?”

- in a relationship he is very sweet

- kinda cliche though, since he doesn’t have a concept of romance at all

- looks up a lot of the things he should know about romance he doesn’t want to ask you that

- while he has no problem protecting you, he doesn’t feel the need to be overly protective unless needed

- he’s logical, reasonable, he only gets protective if he has to, even with how he feels towards you

- but do you distract him? Yes absolutely

- he’s okay with living comfortably and normally for once with you, unless it’s something you don’t want or are not ready for

- once you’re conditioned to a certain lifestyle, even if it isn’t a good one it can be uncomfortable to get out of and he understands that

- he loves to kiss you, often initiates kisses or forms of affection

- you were the first to kiss him, it made him so flustered but so happy and now he’s addicted to kissing you

- loves kissing your hands

- if you have any insecurity he will do anything in his power to prove you wrong and that he doesn’t see you in that light

- he understands he has responsibilities but other than that, loves spending his time with you

- he understands you’re a distraction so he tries not to fight with you, he wants to prioritize the people when it comes to this kinda thing

- which you of course understand

- once you teach him what dancing is, his love language is dancing with you

- you two just stay up talking about nothing and everything

- having kids with him isn’t an option, but he isn’t opposed to adopting children

- after all, all he’s ever wanted was to be a normal significant other to you

- do not have a huge concept on her character so forgive me 🙏

- she can be a bit flirty, not that you mind though right ?

- she just loves spending all her time with you

- probably met you before wandavision

- so you’re probably already together

- even then in wandavision you two were “roommates”

- doesn’t explain all the flirting girl .

- agathas fall would be letting Wanda find out she had a soft spot for you my god

- while she’s all confidence and flirty in general, she’s a bit softer with you

- like she genuinely means the things she says when it comes to you

- eventually asks you to date her, you don’t have much room for dates outside of wandavision

- you two are always together btw

- loves dancing with you

- she has a good grasp on romance so she has no issue with it

- she is full of confidence when it comes down to it tbh

- holds your hand often

- your relationship ain’t official till like the 70s probably

- might joke after wanda has kids that you both should have kids too

- while she’s causing her mischief you back her up to make her look less suspicious

- seriously in the mist of all this she’s grateful for you

- especially when you get her out of the hell that Wanda puts her in once again

- to which she will actually confess she loves you, and cares for you

- you aren’t just like.. some person to date

- she’s not the most vulnerable obviously

- so the fact she finally is.. it’s just a lot

- “idk I just love u a lot hun . Cant I show I love u 😊”

- she’s just so overly sweet with you

- she’s so awful to everyone else at times that she just likes being .. with you and being a softie

- likes you playing with her hair

- she loves a good cuddle

- cute nicknames like hon, or hun, or just teddy bear

- with a crush quill might try to act overly friendly

- and probably flirts a lot

- he’s very like obvious with the flirting so you’d have to be oblivious not to notice it

- he can be quite protective as well

- like not just in fighting but even with just others like even before dating he’s very jealous

- if he makes a joke you’re always in on it somehow

- he tries for form a close bond with you just cuz he likes you so much

- it’s likely he likes somebody that can easily protect themselves doe

- probably has some dumb handshake with you

- honestly he acts like a close friend to you

- people might mistake you for a sibling like relationship if it weren’t for his flirting and him staring at you like you’re his entire universe

- seriously Sam says Bucky has a staring problem, quill is fucking awful

- it’s constant and rocket is always like “you’re staring”

- and he’s like “nO” and then continues to stare

- has you listen to his favorite music of course

- especially the love songs ;D

- will just dance with you to the music he puts on

- one time you guys are dancing to the music he put on like normal but it’s a slow love song, so hes like let’s so dance bae

- and then he tells you how he feels for u

- now u date <3

- lots of forehead kisses

- cuddle bug absolutely

- still a jealous boyfriend though tbh he will try to seem all tough in front of any man he thinks might be better or something he will do anything to show off

- your relationship doesn’t change just lots of kisses and hugs now and I love yous

- you’re totally the relationship that’s like “I love you more” “nooo I love you more” and the guardians hate y’all so much

- he uses nicknames like hun, honey, love, sweetheart

- let’s just say you slow dance more often, and kiss while doing so ^^

- he flirts with you still but it’s a lot more sweet rather than before where he might’ve just flirted with you in terms of like it being kinda like calling you sexy and shit like that, now it’s more like wow u look beautiful I luv u 😊🙏

- would do anything for you, even if he wouldn’t like it

- doesn’t mean he wouldn’t hesitate tho

- going on separate dates isn’t really an option since you guys fight left and right and are always with the guardians, but he decided every once a couple months you guys go on a date together and have some fun

- Loki doesn’t get crushes, so this is a new thing for him

- and tbh he doesn’t know how to take it either, especially when he realizes how strong those feelings actually are

- he hates the idea of being vulnerable in general, especially when it comes to you

- over time it just... happens

- but if there’s any indication he likes spending time with you he will try to lie his way through it, he’s a good liar of course so it probably works

- however he shows he at the very least cares about you, he shows a sign of protectiveness when it comes to potential enemies.. enemies that happen to be dangerous for you

- plus he’s around you like constantly and claims he has nobody else to harass

- he claims he doesn’t care about you at all, but even thor can tell through this lie

- the way he looks at you makes it obvious

- the way he doesn’t try to get you involved in his more dangerous schemes

- and if you do, and you get hurt he feels guilty and tries to help you feel better

- he claims he just owes you one for getting you hurt though

- eventually thor bothers him enough to get him to confess feelings, which takes a lot for Loki to even go through with

- he acts confident, even moreso after you say yes, but deep down was extremely nervous

- the male is good at making you feel important, after trying so hard to hide his feelings he is tired of it and just wants to be more honest about how he feels about you

- no issue being vulnerable, he trusts you but sometimes it can be hard

- he goes to you for a lot of his problems, even if you cannot help, just venting and you listening helps

- he was already with you a lot but now there’s no excuses and it’s even moreso

- “what? I just wanted to visit my beautiful s/o” “we literally just saw eachother 5 minutes ago can I please go to bed”

- likes pressing your foreheads together, he finds it sweet

- jealous of thor? Absolutely. Pls comfort him and tell him you’d never leave him for thor

- he’s so used to just not being as good as him, he wants to be good enough for you

- deep down there’s just so many insecurities he has

- so it causes him to worry like all the time

- having a reassuring and patient s/o is so good for him ^^

- flirting becomes a thing in your relationship

- it makes him feel more confident pls give him this

- protective, he feels like he has to be tbh because he never gets anything good in his life and if he does he loses it, he’s scared to lose you too

- if for some reason he can’t see you he makes an illusion of you to talk to

- when he fake dies you’re the first he goes to see so you don’t think he’s dead, he loves you he wouldn’t want to do that to you =(

- finally

- gonna be honest bucky with a crush is cute

- first of all he smiles at you a lot, Steve is the first to notice how much he smiles around you, it’s the most he smiles like ever

- just has a lot of nice conversations with you about anything and everything

- also whenever you’re around even if other people are around you he’s just like “hey y/n :)”

- heart eyes for you, just can’t help but stare all the time

- he has a staring problem but with you? Yeah 10x over

- Sam always has something to say abt it also

- his idea of flirting with you is really just saying hi to you, just being overly friendly which is noticeable for a guy like Bucky

- eventually would ask you out, he tries to ease into it but he gets a bit impatient

- he was also nervous asking you out but yk

- when dating him he becomes very protective

- one of the most protective bitches on the list tbh

- he gets nightmares about you dying like all the time it breaks him everytime though

- lots of cuddles, whether it be from a rough day, he’s just tired, or had a nightmare

- he likes his hair being brushed by you and played with, even when he cuts it

- he’s scared of killing you and turning into the winter soldier again

- has dreams about when he’s hurt and fought you as the winter soldier, he keeps thinking about if Steve wasn’t there to help, he really could’ve killed you and that terrifies him

- even when you tell him it wasn’t him, he appreciates it but still feels horrible about it

- touch that metal arm, but like gently Yknow . Nobody’s ever touched that arm with such kindness and it makes him soft and feel lucky

- speaking of soft Bucky is very soft, there’s many soft moments with Bucky and vulnerability

- it’s easy to be vulnerable with you but not others

- lots of handholding

- he loves hugging you for long periods of time

- still has a staring problem but now Sam openly makes fun of him

- just big dumb smile on his face as he looks at you

- especially when you’re dealing with kids, seeing you be around them makes his heart warm

- maybe he does wanna be normal, settle down and have kids

- though the thought scares him it is something he desires

- we all know he calls you doll

[ditttiii]

Brothers Conflict || 03.

Thrust into an already established family, you struggle to find your footing while dodging the advances of seven, incredibly good looking stepbrothers.

Your father marrying, and you suddenly having to live under the same roof with seven step brothers was a royal mess or so you had thought, Because them falling in love with you was so much worse. Or was it?

◈ Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humour, Smut and maybe a little angst. (PG-18) (step brother AU)  (I do NOT support incest, this work is inspired by the popular anime/manga Brothers Conflict)

◈ Pairings: OT7 x Reader (reverse harem)

◈ CHAPTER THREE

WC: 2.7k

Warnings: Language (sfw)

Masterlist

"How about this?"

"Nah, it's too sideways," you reply from where you are standing near the doorway of your bedroom.

"Right or left?" Sunmi asks, as she grips the frame and distances her torso from the wall, trying to see for herself where she should shift the frame. From the looks of it, she's failing spectacularly at it.

Suppressing a snort, you answer ‘left’ and hum when she tilts the frame and you are finally satisfied with its position on the wall. Walking back in, you marvel at the sheer grandness of your room for the umpteenth time as you take in all the space around you. Roughly four times the size of your old bedroom, it was huge. 

Floor to ceiling windows on the side opposite the bedroom door, before which was your queen-sized bed. A decent size, intricately designed bedside table beside it, with the floor underneath covered with a soft, plush rosy white carpet. A walk-in closet the size of your old bedroom, a bathroom with a jacuzzi, curtains heavy enough to suffocate and kill you if they were to ever fall upon your body; your new bedroom screams rich.  

It would be a lie to say that you don't feel intimidated. Raised in a middle-class, humble neighbourhood, you hadn't in your wildest dreams ever imagined living in a room like this. But here you are, soaking in the reality of the moment; and realising that it feels like something between a dream and a nightmare. 

Nearly four hours since you first started unpacking, and five since you had first met your new family, most of your room was organised. All boxes untaped and emptied as you and Sunmi worked hard to make the unnecessarily large, empty room less of a hotel room and more like the bedroom of a 19-year-old girl. 

Sighing, you push the last book of your novel collection into the bookshelf. Made from some sort of whitewood, much like everything else, it was designed intricately and looming large over your small shadow. 

"This is it."

Slouching, you fall onto your back, eyes straying to the ceiling above and the textures carved onto it, refusing to reply to Sunmi’s statement. Agreeing would mean that you'd have to let her go and you don't think you can, the isolation and abnormality of the situation already sinking in and scaring you. 

 "Mmn," you reply noncommittally instead. 

A long sigh, and then your best friend is curling on the floor beside you, her hand snaking around yours, fingers intertwining, as she silently lets you know that she is here for you. Repressing the tears you can already feel trying to escape your eyes, you squeeze her hand back. 

The clammy, ice-cold touch of your skin against hers goes unmentioned as you both lay there in silence. 

"I'll call you every day," you whisper, your voice choked as your death grip around Sunmi's waist tightens, and she lets out a strangled moan before pushing you away. 

"Woman, stop being so dramatic! You'll see me back in college every freaking day once summer ends and you know I'll come to see you whenever you want me to, the hour-long ride be damned," Sunmi chides. There’s no bite in her words, and her voice wobbles despite her trying to act tough, but you don't call her out on it and only nod. 

"You better, you airhead, lord knows you'll probably sob your body dry without seeing me every day." 

A giggle comes out of your best friend's tall, lean body, one you are entirely too envious of, and her eyes soften, your smile softening with it. 

"Take care, will ya?" 

"Always," you whisper back, and with one last kiss thrown over her shoulder, she leaves. Her figure grows smaller and farther with every step she takes, and you bite your lip to prevent a call from tumbling out. Not moving an inch until you hear the distant roar of her car driving away, you finally shut the door when you no longer hear or see her car. 

Suddenly you feel scarily small. Like a tiny, irrelevant existence born in a world too large and glamorous; a world where you evidently do not belong. 

Meandering through the floor, you gaze at the picture frames on the wall as though you are the actress of some old seventies cinema, bemoaning the absence of a long lost lover. 

Dramatic, yes, but you have always been more on the theatrical spectrum of humankind, and it isn't like there is much you can do right now anyway. Not unless you want to hole up in your room and stew in your sadness alone. And even though that might sound appealing to most (considering what your room now looks like), it wasn't something you felt like doing at the moment. 

So you mindlessly gaze at the pictures, the setting sun casting a warm orange glow in the darkening hallway as you try to find some semblance of familiarity, a speck of comfort or intimacy. 

"Y/n?" a soft voice calls out to you, and you twist on your heels, your eyes meeting with those of Yoongi. 

"Yoongi-oppa." Voice coming out soft, your words fade at the end as your eyes track the way Yoongi's face glows when the rays of the setting sun hit his skin. Long messy dark blonde hair makes space for his glittering curvy eyes to shine through, and your breath gets caught somewhere in your chest when you look at the vision that was Min Yoongi. 

"Exploring?" he asks casually, but even without knowing him for all that long, you can detect the underlying layer of concern in his voice. You don't know if he is being open with you right now, or if you can just read him well, but the concern makes your heart feel a little warmer. 

"Something like that." Your answer is ambiguous, but Yoongi doesn't ask you to elaborate, so you don't add anything more, turning back and looking at the pictures again instead.

"This something you enjoy?" Yoongi asks as he moves beside you, hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his pants, and leans; making himself comfortable against the wall.  

Your eyes stray to him. "Sounds like you don't."

"Not really my forte, I can appreciate it from a distance, sure, but not an enthusiast," he replies, the back of his head hitting the wall behind as he looks up at you. 

Humming, you shrug. "Same, I guess, it's just fascinating to me. I wish I was smart enough to understand what half of these actually mean, but I am not, so I just appreciate the beauty and move on."

"Fair enough." 

You nod and let the silence reign again, but it's a comfortable silence, the kind of quiet where you are both lost in your own thoughts but at the same time appreciate the company of the other.  

Slowly the sun sets behind you, and the glassed walls shimmer one last time before the ceiling lights are switched on, bathing the entire floor in warm but bright light. 

Yoongi had been silent the entire time as you explored the floor like a child in a zoo, poking and prodding the potted plants, oo-ing and aah-ing over the art around you, fascinated and occupied with the attractions around.   

But when the lights switch on, he clears his throat and gets up from the couch he had taken a seat on some time ago, head tilting as he wordlessly asks you a question. You nod back and smile, making your way to him as you finally get ready to spend some time with the rest of your newly acquired family. 

As you both make your way to the main hall, you don't miss how your heart is feeling much lighter now. The silent company that Yoongi had provided you with seems to have put you at ease and calmed your racing thoughts. 

Walking into the kitchen alone, you try your best to make as little noise as possible. Yoongi, much to your displeasure, had promised that he'd meet you out in a few minutes only to disappear inside of his bedroom and leave you to your own devices.  

The sudden bout of bravado from earlier had left your body too, in its place leaving raring, gut-twisting anxiety. 

Tiptoeing to the refrigerator, you take out a bottle and pour yourself a glass. The chilled water slides down your throat, quenching your thirst, and you let out a satisfied sigh, smacking your lips in contentment after. 

"That thirsty, huh?" 

You jump, startled, heart racing and in your throat, as your gaze snaps to the doorway and finds Seokjin standing there. Suit coat hung over his left arm, and a button-down shirt rolled up to his elbows, he was clearly returning back home after a workday. 

"Holy fuck, you scared the shit outta me!" 

Your brain to mouth filter is seemingly not working after being startled. Feeling anxious was a problem enough, but being scared after was evidently enough to send your last two brain cells out the window. Your common sense and the knowledge that Kim Seokjin was now your stepbrother, eldest stepbrother, flying out the window along with them. 

You hear crickets chirping in the distance as an awkward silence blankets the room, and in that moment you want to die. Spontaneously combust and float away into thin air, disappear, dissolve, vanish—die. 

"I am so sorry, can we pretend I didn't say that, “you voice out meekly, your eyes avoiding Seokjin’s and instead finding purchase on the wall behind him, seemingly fascinated by the utter whiteness of it. 

Hearing a chuckle ring and break the awkwardness in the air, you shift your gaze to the source of said chuckle and catch your eldest brother's gaze. "It's alright Y/n, I get that this is a big adjustment. Please don't feel like you need to rush on anybody's accord, take your time."

And then Kim Seokjin smiles—his pouty, full lips stretched into a small but ridiculously warm smile, and something in your chest clenches at the sight of it. Warning bells ring in the back of your mind, and you squash the thoughts threatening to come forward, their not-so-appropriate nature resulting in an immediate rejection from your end. 

Mumbling a thank you, you let him know you'll be down soon and then dash to your bedroom, slamming the door closed once you're inside and sinking down onto the floor. 

What the hell was that!?

Raking a hand through your hair, you groan in annoyance, wincing when said hand gets stuck in a tangle and pulls a few strands loose.

Looking back at your impression so far in front of Seokjin, one of your seven step brothers, it had been nothing but absolutely marvellous. So you can't imagine what could possibly go wrong when you sit down at the dinner table and are surrounded by all seven of them. 

Nothing, nothing at all, nope-nada-zilch!

Frustrated, you slide a hand down your face, hoping to calm down, but the move only ends up irritating your skin under. The day has been long, and all that you pray for now is that it ends soon. Your bed, which from the looks of it was fit for royalty, was beckoning you over too. 

With one last huff, you are pushing yourself up onto your feet and to the bathroom to splash some water, before you go and join the rest of your new family. 

Pulling the chair in, you wring your hands nervously under the table, away from any prying eyes. One by one, the rest of your family filters in and takes a seat; Seokjin and Yoongi both pick their seats at the two heads of the table. Hoseok and Namjoon sit on either side of you, with Jimin plopping himself down opposite you, and getting flanked by Jungkook and Taehyugn on either side. 

Not much conversation had taken place as they picked their seats, everyone sufficiently tired enough after a long day, but they had smiled or nodded at you when they first entered the dining room. 

'Well most of them at least,'  you think, eyeing the two youngest, who had both refused to give you even a cursory glance, resulting in your smile going unseen and unreciprocated. Their attitude, however, doesn't bother you too much at this point; as it was, they were virtually nothing more than strangers to you. 

Conversations pick up around you, and you feel slightly out of place, as though you are a guest over for dinner rather than their new stepsister, but the feeling doesn't last long, because both Namjoon and Hoseok soon pull  you into a conversation. Inquiries come forth about your day, and how your unpacking had gone.

The conversation is mostly superficial, nothing too emotionally challenging; neither of them ask how it feels being a part of their family or something like that, and you are relieved. Grateful, because you don't know if you'd be able to answer those questions anyway. The whole situation is still very odd no matter how many minutes of the day pass. 

Someone clears their throat, and your eyes snap to Seokjin, who was pushing his chair back and picking up his glass, the red wine inside sloshing with the movement. 

"I've done this before, and yet it never gets any less nerve-wracking," Seokjin starts, and your eyes furrow in confusion, but he continues before you can think about it any more. "Y/n," he says and tips his head in your direction, "I know this must feel a little scary—actually, scratch that, you're probably terrified right now, and that's okay.” he pauses, and takes a breath before continuing, “I'm sure it feels crazy suddenly being thrust into an already established family and being told that now you're one of them, and I just want you to know that I get it. We get it, and we are here for you. If you don’t want to accept us as family, that’s okay too; all of us would understand and support whatever decision you make. I just...” Sighing, he locks eyes with you.

 “...I just hope you can let us in eventually, family or not." 

Seokjin's eyes bore into yours as he says this, stressing the 'us', and you gulp, feeling the back of your throat tighten at his words. Sensing the fine thread of control that you had over your emotions loosening, you swivel your gaze to the table instead, nodding, your vision growing blurry as you try to blink back the burn in your eyes. 

The room goes quiet, as the boys give you time to collect yourself—or sob, you don't know, but you appreciate the consideration nonetheless.

It was going good, it really was. You were holding on, no matter how precarious the hold was, you were holding on. Grasping onto that last string of control and restraint you had with all of your might. 

But then Hoseok is wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you into his side, letting you nestle your face in the crook of his neck, and the string snaps, his neck growing wet as tears streamed down your face and slid down his skin. 

For a few minutes, you forget that you were now surrounded by strangers who you had to accept and call your family. For a few false, delusional minutes you forget that they don't know you, that the care they were showing was genuine and not something they were obligated to. That the one whose hands were drawing circles across your back, the one whose voice was whispering reassurances in your ear—stupid sweet-nothings that you would tell a small child to make them feel better, actually gave a shit about you.  

You forget the reality and slip into a safe headspace, letting the warmth of another human encircle you, hold you, wrap you in its cocoon as you weep. 

A/N: dedicating this chapter to @mel-gonzalez07​, one of my oldest, most loyal readers, and more than anything else an amazing friend. ily angel 💖  

Y/n is going through some shitt here. Imagine being thrust into a dynamic that has been established for years, and then having to act like you are meant to be a part of it. 

The taglist for the story can be found:- here. A kind reminder that tumblr sometimes doesn’t give an alert for a tag notification, but you’ll find the notification in your notification dash. So, check it once a week as I usually update weekly.

Feedback means the world to me, so tell me what you thought. What would you do if you were in oc’s shoes?        

Until next time! Take care you sweet soul and Oo! Go stream folklore 💖 

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[rotzaprachim]

⭐ She isn’t ready for marriage, she said. She isn’t ready to be tied to a man, to be anything more or less than herself alone. The Kerch made the whole business easy by never referring to this thing they’re doing as a marriage, all the paperwork is about Economic Units, Civil Unions. There were so many pages of jargon it made Inej’s eyes bleed. Future children held less inches of fine grey type than agreements on pigs and shipping company stocks, and were described in the same economic language.

Kaz went through the whole thing line by line until the she was sure she was going to call for an annulment before they’d even gotten the damned thing notarised, or else make herself a tastefully rich and very young widow.

“It’s a contract,” he said. “You should know all the details before you sign your life away.”

“For heaven’s sake,” Inej said, irritated by the last several pages about Property Division in the Event of Medium Sized or Larger Storms, Grisha Attacks, and General Flooding, “I’m not signing my life away.”

“When you get married, it might be difficult to annul if you’ve still got a legal Kerch-”

“When I get married?” she shot back challengingly. “To who?”

“I don’t know. That fire-tongued revolutionary who writes you poetry and will make you a new world. The Kaelish tavern maid who always pours you a free beer in her bar while you sing about the plight of the repressed. Someone hopelessly moon-eyed and optimistic, who thinks the world shits rainbows and knows what you’re worth.”

“You, Kaz Brekker,” she finally sighed, “are a hell of a lot dumber than they say you are.” ⭐

this is from in secret, between the shadow and the soul! This fic has kind of a complicated story- I had devoted my free writing time that summer to writing an inej-centric hunger games au which currently sits at 20k on my laptop and may or may not ever see the light of day. but it very much DID get me thinking about the complexity of inej and kaz's relationship and just relationships in general. on a whim while i was waiting for someone in a medical center waiting room a bit of a trip from home (nothing of concern but i had a notebook and a pen and no wifi and a bunch of like half hour snippets of free time) I started writing something for fun totally disconnected from the AU and very self indulgent. i love historical fiction and well-done historical romances, and one thing I'm so fascinated in in general is marriage. as a social, religious, economic and cultural institution. because it's something both found in so many times and cultures and yet the reasons for and views on why people get married are so debated and complex and variable. and so i think a lot of the stuff about what we owe each other, in a way, and contracts, got remixed into this fic.

in retrospect I think this fic marked a really landmark moment for me as a writer, which was when I went from writing mainly AU's to writing mainly canon. i started writing and reading fic when modern AU's and such were really predominating over everything, esp in the star wars and the 100 fandoms, and I think the canon for SW in particular scared me, or I felt in some way constrained to the style of the original. writing this made me realise how much fucking around with the style of originals is actually what as a writer i love to do. writing fic in the original universe of something means having to crack it open a bit to see what the component parts are (I guess Kaz would have a whole lockpicking metaphor about that!)

 i think the big vibe between kaz and inej here is sort of digging into that pseudo-regency combo of intimacy and restraint that really characterises their mix of electricity and emotional remove. and that's on full display here, because they have this thing as big as a MARRIAGE on the table and are having to figure out how to deal with it. so we’ve got the collision course of kerch’s hell capitalism and how they think of marriage as a financial agreement above all- which is definitely not the only reason or cause that people have gotten married historically, but has in various societies been a major factor. we’ve got inej, who emphatically does not, as she says, want to be tied to a man in this kind of economic situation. but i don’t think she is flatly opposed to a marriage in the future that’s thought of more in terms of familial ties and children. one of the kanej lines in CK that lives in my mind the most is probably the whole thing after the bathroom scene of, “what was she supposed to do? find a kind husband, have his children, and sharpen the knives after the family had gone to bed.” so for her there’s this internal argument between the life she might have had and the one she’s having now, and what the life she actually wants now is. Even if these questions are still very hypothetical, i think the hypothetical future is on the table for almost everyone who’s planning on getting married. meanwhile Kaz doesn’t want to tie her back to him or ketterdam in any way that can’t be undone! she’s not his girl but she can have him if that’s what she wants! he’s certainly repressing himself and telling himself it’s for her sake her, in a way, but a few lines after this whole thing ends up signed he’s got a whole little tongue slip about kids. SO. and the thing is about them too that I don’t think they’re flatly solely repressed! I think they’re remarkably comfortable with each other and are Dealing With Things in this whole fic in a remarkably adult way. They’re getting there! but anyway TL:DR I’d say this scene for me is actually sort of the I DO serious wedding moment. it’s kaz’s whole idea that she’s only doing this wedding thing for her practical purposes and he won’t be the one to tie her down again, she’ll find someone else better because who wouldn’t love INEJ, and then it’s inej going YOU YOU LITERALLY SHAPE UP YOU’RE THE HUSBAND. 

thank you SO much for sending me this! it was fun to puzzle this one over a bit and i do actually have thousands of words still in my mind about them and their marriage that i WILL get back to! 

[thedevilsmemes]

      PINTEREST QUOTES I USE IN MY MUSINGS BOARDS                         ~ A SENTENCE MEME - PART 2

                         Change pronouns as / when needed to preferred pronoun.

“I do not do justice, I do damage. I do not do empathy, I do damage. I do not do forgiveness, I do damage. I do not do mercy, I do damage.”

“Like, you can boss me around in sexual situations but you better not try to tell me what to do in regular life.”

“I’m fine, I’ve had worse.”

“I’m meaner than my demons.”

“If I cannot bend Heaven, I will raise Hell.”

“Well, aren’t you a little ray of pitch black?”

“He was like a storm.”

“You want to play dirty? Fine, let’s play dirty!”

{ feels an emotion. } “Who the fuck authorised this?!”

“What the fuck? What the fuck is this? What the fuck?”

“Judge if you want. We are all going to die. I intend to deserve it.”

“Goddamn right you should be scared of me.”

“They wanted a monster; I decided to give them one.”

“Seduce and destroy.”

“What the fuck is intimacy? How does that work? Letting… people be close to you? What the fuck?”

“You couldn’t kill me if you tried for one hundred years.”

“I’ll do this my way.”

“I am severely emotionally unstable.”

“What, from the bottom of the heart, the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t take any orders. I barely take suggestions.”

“I send my best regards from Hell.”

“I like my coffee how I like myself: Dark, bitter and too hot for you.”

“Me and God, we don’t get along.”

“Be brave, Angel.”

“Self care is drinking three pots of coffee and getting into a knife fight with God.”

{ takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle } “My day was fine.”

“Have I stabbed you? No. Then I am being nice.”

“Holy Shit! I’M the demon living in my house.”

“Sir, that’s my emotional support knife collection.”

“I want an ancient elaborate dagger with my name engraved into the blade as a gift. The only romantic gesture.”

“ ‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ I'm a threat!”

“Stop being so defensive! I’m just trying to hit you with weapons.”

“The more knives you have the more valid you are.”

“She’s strong but she’s exhausted.”

“She loves moonlight and rainstorms and so many other things that have soul.”

“My darling, you can’t see it can you? How like the moon you are. Both of you so timid in yourselves; hiding pieces from the world. Then, there are those rare moments when you are both full, and it becomes hard to look away. You are beautiful.”

“Calm her chaos but never silence her storm.”

“She wears strength and darkness equally well. That girl has always been half Goddess, half Hell.”

“She has been through Hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into the fire and smiles.”

“She’s proof that you can walk through Hell and still be an angel.”

“She is both hellfire and holy water. And the flavour you taste depends on how you treat her.”

“Even the mountains can not hold all you have been carrying.”

“Storm with skin.”

“She’s thunderstorms”

“Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.”

“You have a heart of gold.”

“Butterflies are the Heaven-sent kisses of an angel.”

“She who is brave is free.”

“Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.”

“Shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick.”

“Girls who run in heels should be feared.”

“Family is everything to me.”

“She’s an old soul that believes in chivalry, romance, and love.”

“I hate getting flashbacks from things I don’t want to remember.”

“I run on coffee and grace.”

“I’m glad I’ve got boobs… the last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.”

“Tell me to put on my big girl panties one more time… and I’ll take off my thong and strangle you with it!”

“Please read all my posts in a sarcastic tone. You know, for full effect.”

“I have one nerve left and you’re dry-humping it, go away.”

“If I offend you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears, eating chips and working on my tan.”

“When she is happy, she can’t stop talking. When she is sad, she doesn’t say a word.”

“Music becomes my best friend when nobody else understands me.”

“Act like a lady, think like a boss.”

“I know I have friends but I feel I have no one to talk to about the shit that goes on in my head.”

“She was special. She combined a mean angel and a kind devil.”

“So much pain for someone so young.”

“She’s one of a kind.”

“Red lips and wine sips.”

“Brave girl, it’s time to love again.”

“She is intelligent.”

“Sometimes, when I say ‘I’m okay.’ I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say, ‘I know you’re not.’ ”

“Because I’m not the kind of girl guys fall in love with.”

“I fear I will spend my life, waiting for a love story that doesn’t exist.”

“You’re a woman, use it; bring every man you meet to his motherfucking knees.”

“She denies it but, the truth is, she’s falling in love with him.”

“Hearing your heels click on the floor sounds like power.”

“She loves deeply, regardless of the love she gets back in return and it’s both her biggest strength and biggest weakness…”

“Experience raised her. Hurt taught her. Neither defined her.”

“She was not fragile like a flower was, she was fragile like a bomb.”

“Life is short; make every hair flip count.”

“I’ve always been someone who looks ‘too deep’ into something or someone. That’s because I realised from a young age that there’s always more than what meets the eye.”

“If I say ‘first of all’ Run away because I have prepared research, data, charts, and will destroy you.”

“Underestimate me, that’ll be fun.”

“You think I’m sarcastic? You should hear what I don’t say!”

“She’s a combination of sensitive and savage.”

“Stay classy, sassy and a bit bad assy.”

“She’s battling things her smile will never tell you about.”

 “Ain't you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch?”

“I was told I was dangerous… I asked why? They said ‘because you don’t need anyone.’ That’s when I smiled.”

“She’s been through hell and came out an angel. You didn’t break her darling, you don’t own that kind of power.”

“Watch me. I will go to my own sun and, if I am burned by the flames, I will fly on scorched wings.”

“Her messy hair is a visible attribute to her stubborn spirit. As she shakes it free, she smiles, knowing wild is her favourite colour.”

“She’s strong. But in the back of her mind she doesn’t think that she was meant to be this strong for this long. And she wonders if there is a man out there, somewhere, who understands this.”

“She’s not for everyone and she knows it. People find her different and strange. She dances in the rain, she laughs when she cries and loves through her pain. People fear the unknown and they never knew a girl like her.”

“Don’t tell a girl with fire in her veins and hurricane bones what she should and shouldn’t do. In the blink of an eye, she will shatter that ridiculous cage you attempt to build around her beautiful bohemian spirit.”

“You provoke her until she roars and then get upset at her for becoming the monster you created.”

“Rip out his ego with your fresh nails.”

“She isn’t the sunrise; she’s the fucking sun.”

“You can’t touch a woman who can wear pain like the grandest of diamonds around her neck.”

“Watch your tongue around her. She will bear her fangs and tear you apart with all the grace of a Queen.” 

“If you won’t embrace her madness, then you’ll never taste her magic.”

“Beauty may be dangerous but intelligence is lethal.”

“She is water. Powerful enough to drown you, soft enough to cleanse you, deep enough to save you.”

“Heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. There is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes and the will to survive resides within her soul.”

“I wish that I could say that I am a light that never goes out, but I flicker from time to time.”

“Spoil me with loyalty. I can finance myself.”

“Shoutout to all the people with brown hair and brown eyes! We basic as fuck but we cute!”

“I feel a nap coming on.”

“Is horny an emotion?”

“I just really like thigh-highs.”

“Even though she looks innocent, she is really a perverted demon.”

“She didn’t sob or wail. Her pain was horribly discreet but as persistent and almost as silent as bleeding from an unstitched wound.”

“I don’t rise from the ashes, I make them. I’m the whole fucking fire.”

“Beautiful but destructive.”

“I’m aiming for the ‘she’s a badass and cute as hell but I wouldn’t touch her without asking’ look.”

“Loving me must be so fucking hard and I’m so sorry.”

“Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are built from it.”

“You glow differently when you’re actually happy.”

“She’s magic, that one.”

“Kicked out of Hell.”

“Red hair: the crown you never take off.”

“You’ve got a fire inside.”

“She doesn’t need a warrior, she is one. What she needs is a devout heart, and strong arms to hold her after her battles are won.”

“You are the love that came without warning: You had my heart before I could say no.”

“You want battle? I’ll give you war.”

“True evil is, above all things, seductive.”

“The Devil’s got nothing on me, my friend.”

“Haven’t I fallen far enough?”

“I’m not like them, but I can pretend.”

“I don’t like being told what to do.”

“Now I grow wings and rage, and learn how to kill.”

“Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.”

“Though she be little, she be fierce.”

“I know what this is; It’s just myself, talking to myself, about myself.”

“You underestimate my power.”

[tulip--ohare]

these days - part two

pairing: johnny silverhand x female!v

summary: moments of annoyance & comfort.

a/n: part 1 here. an ongoing collection of moments between johnny & v. also up on ao3. i’m gonna start posting both here and there!

“Well, I appreciate you not fucking him.”

V didn’t look back at Johnny as she exited the trailer, sleepy eyes squinting against the bright desert sun.

“Right, because everything I do is for your benefit.”

“Isn’t it?”

She could tell he wore a smirk without even looking back at him.

“Johnny, I’m really not in the fucking mood,” V huffed as she strode across the yard to Jackie’s Arch.

In truth, her decision not to sleep with River last night was influenced by Johnny – kind of. Never in the way he would think if she ever tried to explain it to him, so she wouldn’t bother. But if she didn’t have the ghost of a rockerboy stuck in her swiftly dying brain? Yeah, maybe she would have fucked him. Maybe. Though, in all honesty, probably not. V ran from emotional and physical intimacy every chance she got. Following River up to that water tower last night was the biggest move she’d made in the romance department for a long time. Probably since she was a teenager, to be honest. Somewhere in her brain there was a fuzzy memory of a girl she’d known pulling a similar move when she was maybe sixteen. Something in her told her too, that was a memory that really shouldn’t be fuzzy, that it was important to her. But she couldn’t think about that.

“You plannin’ to come back here another time, play domestic? ‘Cuz if you do, next time take one of those fuckin’ pills so I don’t have to sit through it.” Johnny had promptly ignored her request to shut the fuck up and so V ignored him, speeding away on the Arch and back towards the city.

She’d promised Johnny the other day in Pacifica that she’d give him control of her body and at the time she’d really meant it. She wanted to do that for him, to help him out. But fuck, if he didn’t stop blurting out every thought that entered his gonk brain, he was gonna destroy his chances of that ever actually happening.

But that wasn’t true. She could tell herself it was, but that didn’t change the fact that it wasn’t. It didn’t change the fact that helping him tie up his own loose ends was at the top of her priority list for some reason she couldn’t quite articulate. Nor did it change the fact that his asshole comments had started to move from annoying her to endearing her to him. But god would she do everything she could to make it seem like that wasn’t the case.

Despite it being early morning, the sun was already brutal, and V’s hair was damp against her neck as she sped back into the city. She needed a shower.

---

She stood in her bathroom wrapped in a towel, wringing her hair out onto the tiles. In moments like this, the tiniest moments of normalcy, she forgot that her days were numbered. At first these moments hadn’t lasted long; Johnny’s presence in her brain used to pull her swiftly back to reality. He didn’t even have to say anything, she would just suddenly feel him there and be reminded. Now, it was almost like nothing had changed. In moments like this when the world was quiet, his presence in her head, the feeling of him, somehow didn’t pull her back to the reality of her death.

Today, though, her brain decided not to let her live in blissful ignorance for more than a few moments. In crept the familiar waver in her vision, the first sign that she was about to be swept to the ground by pain.

“Shit,” she breathed out, a mere second before a wall of excruciating agony slammed into her brain and radiated out across her entire body. Her knees buckled and she slammed onto the floor of the bathroom with enough force to knock what little breath she had left in her lungs out of her. She’d managed to avoid another of these spells since the day Johnny had dragged her across the city to the Pistis Sophia. She’d been fearing that the next one was gonna be just as bad, maybe worse. So far, it seemed, her fears were right.

And then suddenly Johnny was beside her, the two of them crammed together in her tiny bathroom. As she sunk to the ground, blackness spotting her vision, he propped her trembling body against his own. She was vaguely aware of her head resting on his lap, vaguely aware of fingers in her hair. Her hand found his arm, skin against skin. Her nails dug into his flesh.

Eventually, it passed, but it had knocked so much out of her that V couldn’t bring herself to move. Distantly she was embarrassed to be laying on her dirty bathroom floor, clinging for dear life onto Johnny fucking Silverhand of all people. But the safety she felt was far stronger than anything else, than anything she’d ever felt before.

Finally, she managed to speak.

“I’m fucking scared, Johnny.”

“Me too, princess. But I’ve got you.”

--

part three here

[lairofsentinel]

Talking about the smidgens we saw of Gale, the wizard of Waterdeep.

[Baldur’s Gate 3 Early Access Spoilers]

Updated, AGAIN, because the hell of new aspects we saw when some bugs were sorted out. Warning:  all this analysis was done for game versions 4.1.83 and 4.1.84

Well, I had to rewrite all this because the explorations of dialogue options and the bugs being, somehow, solved, allowed me to see small details from Gale that stand out or end up being more than curious to me. I'll list his main features to make things short (hopefully), and useful for... eventual fics:

Gale is a char who approves any good treatment to animals (and creatures in general). He has a cat, a Library, and writes poetry sometimes.

He doesn't like gratuitous murdering which is implied in the anecdote he told us about how he stopped a massacre in a Waterdeep city inn just by buying a round to everyone. It is also implied in his approval in most situations; even in the one with the ogres having sex.

He gives you disapproval most of the time if you use violence and intimidation as your first approach in solving a situation. He prefers eloquence, diplomacy, and negotiation. However, he is flexible enough to approve a performance-intimidation in front of goblins to avoid bloodshed. Point (2) is primary. So... he truly is a pragmatic char. It's not white and black: “never use intimidation/lie” or that kind of over-simplistic view.

He likes logical and reasonable conversations. An action that earned his disapproval can be undone if the main char (MC) talks to him and explains their reasons. You can disagree with him without having approval penalties most of the time. You can question many situations and, as long as it remains a mental exercise, there are no penalties. That surprised me a lot. Most characters disapprove you if you wonder about a potential situation, but Gale no. He is the scholar, he will allow a safe space to think around things without being too judgemental. We will see if this attitude lasts in the full game. No wonder some players see in him “the Teacher” archetype. Quite so.

He was an Arch wizard while being Mystra's Chosen One, and fell from grace when she put him aside. What is hard for me to grasp is if he remained Chosen One and therefore able to cast silver-fire during that intermediate period when he stopped having Mystra's whispers and his folly with the netherese taint. We know that in that moment Mystra removed herself from his life completely. But before, she has only stopped whispering and sleeping with him. So far I understand, being her Chosen One doesn't imply sleeping with her, most of the time.

He was a teacher (not surprising, since his over-explanation vices and details such as the pronunciation of “Trashj” make us suspect it), and had some students that he could not keep longer since their ineptitudes irked him. 

Unlike the stereotypical “scholar” type, he knows how to cook, since he has been doing stews for the party in the camp. He also loves baths. A bit siding with the stereotypical “scholar” type, but a nice change for a “standard adventurer” type, in which most of the time it is implied that they are stinky with “animalistic” scents and uglier descriptors. No, Gale likes his lavender-scented baths. Good. 

He is an over-thinker strategist. And also a char who takes responsibility for his own mistakes to the point that, when he dies for the first time, a programmed image is activated to help anyone to revive him. Despite the fact that he is dead and can give a shit about that, he is still responsible of the catastrophe that may happen if that weird magic orb stuck in his chest erupts.

He is also forcing me to check the dictionary like no other game has done in a while... the fucker uses uncommon words a lot of the time. Smidges? really? Gale is a hard char for a non native English speaker.

We can assume that during his teenage time, he was a pretty prideful peacock to the point to be blind at the reality (well, yeah, he romanced a goddess; if that doesn't give you a hell of a ego boost...) He remembers his young self's pride with a thick level of regret. He is now a mature scholar that, for a change, does not patronise you or thinks of himself better than anyone. Sure, he over-explains a lot, but that's something that most scholars/teachers do when they are worried that, maybe, they won't be understood.

He is confident in his years of study (for that reason he is a capable wizard despite having lost Mystra's favours), but he acknowledges his limits. Which is a nice change to see in the “scholar” archetype, the typical know-it-all. He knows a lot, he knows that he knows (it would be ridiculous to hide his knowledge), but he is human, and like he says: “humans are fallible”. However, it’s more than obvious that he has a big ego for everything he does, which makes sense since he follows a motto in his life: “try to excel at everything”. High accomplished scholar lifestyle, indeed.

If you don't share the Weave with him, he will state that nights are lonesome. It seems he truly is looking for some connection with a keen fellow mind. Probably it's this loneliness which triggers his urge to see Mystra's face during the night. We also know he, in general, lives in constant fear due to the Netherese taint in his chest. So, very lonely, and very scared. 

I don't know if this is his poet side unable to be switched-off or it's another implication of how he sees sexual encounters: he never says sex (at least in my many runs, he never did it). He always gets around the word: love-making, art of the body, intimacy. For a scholar who is so prone to use the technical word for everything, and has already stated he is not coy at all, the use of these metaphors make me wonder if it's because he always conceives sex as something more than mere physical pleasure. For him, it seems to come with a more emotional connection (which makes sense if we think he will only sleep with those who connected to him through the Weave). Another small detail that may confirm this is when he asks the MC if the “other night” was wonderful. If MC claims it was “fun”, Gale shows a certain degree of uneasiness by that word choice, making us infer that he certainly doesn’t see sex as “fun” but as something else, deeper. 

His tadpole dreams are about Mystra (rather obvious). His most desperate desire is forgiveness. Mystra's forgiveness.

Mystra was his first love. The affair did not last long. And since soon after her abandonment he looked for the Primal Weave book and was infested by it; one could assume he has been focused on solving his problem for the rest of his life than putting some energy in romance, especially if we think about (13). It's hard to say with certainty (especially with banters like these), but since he is a char that you can only sleep with if you share a mind-connection through the Weave, it seems less plausible that he could encourage into casual relationships during all this period of his life looking for a solution to the Netherese orb. If he got previous relationships, they may have been meaningful, but clearly not enough to win over the goddess’ and his urges to see her, lol.

He did not mind Mystra having many other lovers besides him. It seems to be the same with the MC, since he will insist in sleeping with them even after the party and even after the MC slept with someone else (however, that only occurs if the romantic connection through the Weave happened.) This fact combined with (13) and (15) make me wonder if he certainly wants to be with the MC too badly, even in an open relationship. We need to see the rest of his romance to be sure.

Since he looks for forgiveness so desperately, he is a char who will forgive most mistakes made by the MC if they acknowledge them.

He is a char who knows how grey and complex situations can be. This is inferred by the way he speaks of the tiefling girl who tried to steal the idol in the Grove: “She is not innocent, but that doesn't mean she is guilty.” (of course there is a lot of self projection there). This is also implied in his (surprising) approval of raising Mayrina's husband and giving her the control wand to search for a solution in Neverwinter. That shows that he can accept the fuckest weirdest situations, recognising that “sometimes we can’t choose situations but we can try to do our best, not always having the best results”. Also self-projection.

He appreciates his privacy to the point to leave the MC if the abuse of the tadpole power continues. However, and honouring (4), you can abuse of these powers and convince him with reasons: if you don't lie to him and explain that you have a responsibility with the group to know what happens with his secret, he will understand, and despite disapproving the MC actions, will remain without major troubles.

Certainly, as long as you give him reasons and logical concepts, he can almost understand everything with no disapproval or at least little one.

Consent and negotiation are vital to him, apparently. However, this aspect reaches a flaw. He was too angry with Nettie when she almost killed the MC, and he made a short speech about how nobody has the right to decide your options for you. Yet, in his romance scene, we see that he deliberately hid his true relationship with Mystra and his bomb-condition in order to sleep with the MC. In fact, during the party, if the MC tells him that doubts if he is the one they want, Gale will drop a curious argument: “That’s because you’ve yet to find out what your’re missing” (implying that he himself is what you need), followed by his most curious “Doubt is a spoilsport. Cast it aside”. That coming from a scholar is rotten, lol. He tries every convincing argument to sleep with the MC (if they shared the moment of the Weave, of course)

This happens in every variation of the path: whether the MC sleeps with him in the party, or afterwards, Gale will always wait for sharing a night with the MC before speaking the truth. It's hard to read this aspect since, he is a char who, apparently, needs a mind-connection with his partner for intimacy (see (12) and (13)); so this terrible strategy is like his way of trying to guarantee that the MC will not abandon him. I guess there is something along those line, specially if we keep in mind the book he explained: a book which is not only about the art of the body and the night and sex, but of other things such as conversation, exploration, and acceptance of oneself and the other. He is expecting with this night to reach the MC to a certain degree of intimacy in which, despite the raw truth, the acceptance will prevail. Remembering (16), he truly wants to sleep with the MC, baaaadly. And somehow everything feels like he wants to push things in a subtle way to a certain degree of commitment. Following the concept in (12), I think he has been alone for too long, and desperately needs someone in his lonesome nights and in helping him to deal with his burden. Finding someone who connected to him through the Weave (such a personal experience for him as it is) made him a bit desperate or eager. We know his emotion for the MC may have grown over those days since the connection with the Weave. In two occasions he or the MC can ask if both of them think about that moment. Gale says yes with such enthusiasm, that it may imply...that maybe, he has been thinking about that more times than he truly wants to tell the MC. The Weave moment had such a strong effect on Gale that, if the MC spent the night with another companion and rejects Gale’s proposition later, he will trail off a sentence that implies he was convinced that the MC and he were heading into something serious and deep.

Of course, once he sleeps with the MC, he confesses the truth right afterwards, accepting--without approval penalties--the harshest responses that the MC can give. He clearly knows that such manoeuvre was truly disloyal, especially contrasting it with all his speech of consent and rights to know about the true situation one is in. In the next morning, he acknowledges it was a rotten thing to do and apologies. But this shows that his principles can be bend and even be broken when it comes to emotions. I'm still a bit wary of his emotional stability, what can I say.

Mystra is more than an ex-lover for him, it’s magic. And Magic is everything for him, even more than life. I wonder if, given the opportunity, Mystra forgives him and asks him to return to her side, would he accept it without second thoughts leaving the romanced MC? It's true he also acknowledges that all that fascination he had with the goddess was a product of his youth; he knows he was a plaything in her hands. But I don't see he got over with it. He still idealises her, as such a good poet does. Idealisation, especially when a Goddess is involved, is a terrible thing to fight against for the next partner. No matter what speech of loyalties and consent he states during the whole game, the MC knows that magic and Mystra are Gale's Achilles’ heel, and factors in which they  can’t predict his behaviour.

We also know that, because his bomb-condition, he tries to take all the opportunities to enjoy the little things of life that make him human.

Gale is a straightforward and honest (mostly, let's say) char. But we can see that he prefers to be honest in most situations, except in his Achille’s heel. Even when he wanted to hide all the stuff about the bomb in his chest, he did it by explicitly warning us that he was hiding something he did not want to talk about. Which is an honest approach considering the hardcore burden he carries and the immediate rejection it can mean if the truth unfolds too quickly among strangers.

When it comes to concepts, Gale has the symbol of the storm attached to him. So far, we see he talks comparing things with storms or storm elements: his lack of knowledge to explain why they are not Mind Flayers yet: the silence before the storm; the fear that rushes into his body when the Weave orb asks him for magic to consume: the thunder of a storm reverberating in his soul, the day it will erupt: the lightning striking, the consumption of magic: water running through a sore throat, Life itself: a tempest. When he asked the player if they were a wizard, he explains that he needs an Arch wizard and compares them with a Tempest. If we see the main image of Baldur's gate 3, it's clear that his main element is electricity/storm... so... full witch-bolt-guy here.

[updated later] The Weave moment is important to romance Gale. Leaving the moment in ambiguity will give the MC another opportunity to make their intentions clear during the scene of the Loss. However, remaining vague will lock Gale into a friendship path. What happens during this scene may suggest that the ambiguity in the Weave was enough to keep Gale thinking about the romantic possibility, but he will not engage into it by his own, which confirms (15). Unless the opportunity presents itself clearly before him, he will not pursue the MC. Further details [here].

Last moment detail: Gale says “I cherish you” when he explains he will await death alone if the Netherese orb goes out of control. I was not sure if that meant something more or less than love or like (I can’t not overlook the subtle meaning of the words coming from Gale’s mouth, he is a poet and his word choices matter). Checking the dictionary I found that “cherish” (in a relationship) is defined as to hold or to treat as dear, to feel love for and to care for someone deeply and tenderly. This man went straight into a commitment relationship without thinking it twice, and without (I believe) the MC knowing it either xD. 

Let's see how these characteristics shift or develop deeper once the full game is out there. Now we have to wait a lot :(

To see videos where all this stuff is inferred or explicitly said, you can check [here]

More videos added later [here] and [here]

More content of bg3 in general [here]

[lesbian-ed]

hello! i hope i am not bothering you guys. thank you so much for running this blog! so, i am a 16 year old lesbian. i was raised in a extremely conservative house and my parents over-protected me a lot - even worse regarding relationships in general. i have an extreme fear of intimacy that mixed up with a lot of internalized shit - i am deeply scared of dating or kissing a girl, even though i really want it. it's easier to forget about my fear when i have a crush, but most of the time i feel terrified. so thanks to that, i am considerably "behind" my straight/bi friends in the relationship aspect. i know that it's just me being a dumb teen, but it feels so... alienating. so lonely. i feel like i will never be able to date another girl. people in my family often try to push me to date guys because they never saw me actually with a girlfriend - it's so horrible sometimes i just want to cry. in your teenage years, have you guys ever had experiences like this? thank you so much for your time. i hope this wasn't too much. thank you

Hi Anon,  The hardest part of being a teenager, is that no matter what is going on in your life it feels like you are ‘behind’ everyone else. This is because we cram teens together for 8 hours a day where you all can compare yourselves to each other. I’m not so much older that I can’t remember high school. But 16 isn’t ‘behind’ on anything. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 21 and I wasn’t behind. I had sex for the first time at 22 and wasn’t behind. Because unlike milestones like babies being able to hold their own heads up, kisses/sex/intimacy doesn’t have a timeline. And, in my opinion, a significant number of teenagers have experiences before they are ready for them, whether that means that they are peer pressured, coerced, feel like they ‘should’ have something like a first kiss or sex, or because they aren’t ready to manage the consequences and effects of various intimacies.  When I was in college, many of the conversations I had with my female friends as we approached graduation had to do with how our lives had been up to that point. And a topic that got talked about a lot was about how many relationships, how much sex, my friends wished they hadn’t sought out or agreed to. Especially for sex and relationships from high school. It is not a bad thing to be more grown up and sure of yourself - your interests, your likes, your desires, your comfort levels, your dislikes, your fears - before pursuing a relationship. It isn’t ‘dumb’ to feel worried or concerned or ‘behind’ because it’s an unfortunate side effect of being a teenager (truly the worst years btw, everything is uphill after high school). I don’t want this to come across as condescending or like it’s blowing you off, but you are perfect as you are and there is nothing wrong. You aren’t ‘behind,’ you will have a girlfriend some day and I promise it won’t matter that you didn’t have your first kiss at 14 or 15. The fear about kissing or dating or sex does diminish because it becomes less of an unknown. I would HIGHLY recommend that you read some lesbian romances because they do demystify lesbian relationships, both on an emotional level and sexual level. If you’d like some specific recommendations, message the blog and I will personally help you out.  As for your family, when you are able to leave them - either to go to college or by moving out - their hold on you will diminish. Even just having a job will introduce you to other people and it will diminish the influence of your parents. The side-effect of being over-protected is that it does make the world seem far scarier than it is, and it makes the world seem harder to navigate than it is. I didn’t personally grow up with over-protective parents so I can’t speak about it from a personal standpoint, but I have had friends and girlfriends from over protective families and the way to deal with this I’ve seen from them is to slowly introduce yourself to the world. Go new places, try new things, seek out new reading material and tv shows that would introduce you to new ideas, try to meet new types of people (be open to friendships to people you might not have sought out before). This doesn’t mean start taking huge risks. Don’t start smoking to see if you like it for example, or start walking downtown at night alone in the dark alleys. But as you get older, try to find different events and groups and interests and try them out. Maybe your town has a huge quilting community. Go hang with the women at the quilting meetup and see if you like to sew! Maybe see what events a local bookstore is putting on - maybe a poetry reading by a local author or a book club in a genre you haven’t yet explored. If you have a car, get in it and just drive all over where you live for an hour or two in places you haven’t been and look around. Anything interesting you would have otherwise missed? Take note! This is how I find restaurants when I move to a new place. If you go to college, try to say yes to as many things as possible from the start. I went to a concert three hours away with three people I’d only known a week but who I had already started bonding with a little. The concert was great and I made some acquaintances that were good to know through college. Study abroad! Etc etc etc I think you’ve got the point. Doing this will make the world less scary, more easy to navigate, and introduce you to all sorts of people you otherwise would have missed. As you do this, the side-effects of having been raised by strict conservative parents will lessen and you’ll be much freer, more confident, and more sure of yourself as a person.  Mod S

[fanfic-corner]

A-Spec Across Fandoms

23/10/20 - I know I have already done an a-spec post for Destiel fics, but it is asexual awareness week next week, so I thought I’d read a load of fics with ace characters from a few different shows I like! We have some Supernatural, some Doctor Who, some Sherlock, and a couple from Good Omens. Happy ace week!

Supernatural

broken when I’m lonesome by SailorChibi on AO3. (7,015 words).

Tags: Asexual Castiel, Demisexual Dean, Panromantic Castiel, Biromantic Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Has a Sexuality Crisis, Angst, Fluff, Touch-Starved, Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Castiel is Not Oblivious, comments that could be taken as ace-phobic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: After being saved from hell, Dean's old methods of coping aren't working anymore: he's not sexually attracted to anyone, and he's not interested in sex no matter how many times he climbs into bed with hot, naked women. Sam is convinced that his brother is just depressed, but Dean knows this goes deeper than that. He still craves the intimacy that can make him feel safe. Fortunately, Castiel is there to both understand and provide.

Notes: This fic really hit home. I’m not sure if it is because almost every person I have ever talked to has had some form of this conversation, but it was still cute.

La Vie A Plus by K_K_TiBal on AO3. (6,260 words).

Tags: Punk Castiel, Asexual Castiel, College/Uni AU, Roommates, oh my god they were roommates, College Student Dean, College Student Castiel, Pining, First Kiss, Misunderstandings, Art Student Castiel, Love Confessions, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Tattooed Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you're going with it.

Notes: The angst is strong in this one! Again, I feel like many aces have had this conversation or that fear that people (allos, especially) may not want to be with them.

Exposed to What You Hide by SailorChibi on AO3. (1,890 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe - Hunters, Creature Castiel, Procubus Cas, Asexual Castiel, Established Relationship, Hidden Relationship, Assisted Suicide, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: "We think Cas is a procubus," Sam blurted out. Then he winced and yelped when Charlie kicked him under the table. "Ow!" "Smooth, Sam," Charlie snapped. Dean looked back and forth between them, realizing that they were both 100% serious. "A procubus." "Basically it's the sexless version of an incubus or a succubus," Charlie explained before Sam could. "It's... it's a demon that kills people by sleeping with them." She was chewing on her thumbnail now, eyes big and apologetic. Sam had done one better pasting on a truly epic kicked puppy expression of apology. "You think Cas is killing people by cuddling with them," Dean said, just to be sure. 

Notes: Well that took a bit of a turn. I’m not sure why, but I love fics where Cas keeps bees, it was just so cute to see him that happy! (Even if he was crazy. Shut up).

Consolation by Trell on AO3. (1,195 words).

Tags: Aromantic, Aromantic Relationship, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Asexual Character.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: In which both of them are ancient, and neither of them are in love with each other.

Notes: Okay, I would first of all like to say that I do not ship Cas and Ten. I was kind of curious though, and clearly whoever wrote this ships Destiel and Ten/Rose. That being said, I am here for some angst; poor Cas and his unrequited love, and poor Ten because all his friends are dead.

Doctor Who

don’t hold this war inside by WishingTree on AO3. (1,824 words).

Tags: Asexual Yaz, Pre-Relationship, Asexual Character.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “It’s just - I’m scared,” she finally manages. “Scared?” the Doctor stills where she’s been trying to roll up the sleeves of her coat, shoving the material of one arm over her elbow and asking, “Scared of what?” Yaz doesn’t answer, can’t answer, and the Doctor goes to reach for her, aborting the movement halfway and only managing an awkward swaying motion. “...Scared of me?”

Notes: Thasmin is a ship that, had I not stumbled across it on Instagram, would never have thought of on my own. Much like Sabriel, however, now the idea is in my head, I ship it! Also, the author in this fic manages to perfectly capture the Doctor’s personality, which is quite an impressive feat.

Whatever fits my skin by lloydsglasses on AO3. (1,481 words).

Tags: Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Cross-Generational Friendship, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Canon Gay Character, LGBTQ Character, Aromantic, Pride.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “So, does that happen to you a lot?” Bill asks once they’re safely back in the Doctor’s study, each cradling a mug of tea. “Getting snogged by gorgeous women as a thanks for saving their lives.” The Doctor sets his teacup down gently on the desk, mouth pursing in distaste. “Far more often than I’d like.”

Notes: Oh my god that was so (fucking) cute! Now I want more fics of characters going to pride. Maybe for next June. Also, I’m just saying that I hated Nardole and nothing you can say to me will make me change my mind.

Take It, Leave It (But you’d better believe it) by lloydsglasses on AO3. (760 words).

Tags: Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Cross-Generational Friendship, Asexual Character. Aromantic, Canon Gay Character, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: “I told my foster mum that I’m gay. Now she keeps trying to set me up with guys." 

“Ah,” says the Doctor, with a frown. “That seems… counterintuitive.”

Notes: I’ve always loved Bill and Twelve’s relationship, and this is such a cute scene! It is a crime we haven’t got more River Song content, by the way.

Crescendo by tenscupcake on AO3. (6,013 words).

Tags: Fluff, Asexual Character, Romance.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: As her relationship with the Doctor slowly develops into something a little more than friendship, Rose starts to wonder what's holding him back. But one fateful night, he confesses something that makes her realize she never had any reason to worry.

Notes: Beautifully written! I don’t think I’ve ever read a Ten/Rose fic before, but I have always shipped it and it is adorable.

Sherlock

The Important Bit by Solshine on AO3. (9,984 words).

Tags: Asexual Sherlock, Platonic Relationship, Amarriage, Same-Sex Marriage, Bromance, Domestic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

Notes: Oh, this is absolutely one of my favourite Johnlock fics now. Absolutely adorable (because I love domestic Johnlock okay), I nearly cried, and now I want all the art of Sherlock with a fancy old cane!

the art of getting by (isn’t really so artsy at all) by stupidmuse_hatesme on AO3. (6,521 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Character, Asexual Sherlock, Romance, First Time, First Date, Slash.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: “He's treating things like they're normal! Things are not normal.” Sherlock drags his hands from his mussed up hair and covers his face. “You aren't helping much,” he mumbles into his palms. “I hope you know that.” The skull only grins from his perch and says not a word. “Really, you're supposed to do more than just--sit there.”

Notes: John is so unbelievably sweet in this, but Sherlock was bit OOC.

what does the world get by coloredink on AO3. (2,302 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Sherlock, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: A women's magazine quiz leads Sherlock to investigate the nature of love.

Notes: A cute lil’ fic about exploring your (in this case, lack of) romantic and sexual attraction.

Surprisingly Simple by heeroluva on AO3. (855 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, First Kiss, Touching, Fluff, Cuddling and Snuggling. My Rating: 3 stars. Description: In which John is asexual, and Sherlock never asks. Notes: Pretty cute, and it is always nice to see a character who is just cool with it, without some massive explanation. I can dream.

Good Omens

An Honest Surrender by Kedreeva on AO3. (4,107 words).

Tags: Ineffable Husbands, Post-Apocalypse, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Marriage, First Kiss, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Soulmates, Soul Bond, Aziraphale’s True Form, Crowley’s True Form, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: "For six thousand years," Crowley said, voice cracking, "I have wanted something I couldn't have, because I asked the wrong questions. But I'm asking the right one now. The only one that matters." In which Aziraphale follows Crowley home after the nonpocalypse.

Notes: Seriously, reading Good Omens fics always makes me so relaxed and sleepy it is unreal. I need to read them more often. Anyway, this is such a cute explanation for the final episode, and I loved it!

You’re the Only Prayer I Need by Kedreeva on AO3. (5,507 words).

Tags: Ineffable Husbands, Wingfic, Angel Wings, Angel/Demon Relationship, Wing Grooming, Bathing/Washing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Asexual Relationship, Snake Crowley, Love Confessions, Trust, Non-Sexual Intimacy.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Crowley had, in the six thousand years Aziraphale had known him, shed his skin exactly twice that Aziraphale knew of. Both times he had disappeared without a trace, having retreated somewhere very safe and very, very unknown to hide while he was so vulnerable, and Aziraphale had never thought to ask beyond that information. Everyone was, he had supposed at the time, entitled to their secrets. The problem was that he had stumbled directly into this secret now, and there was hardly a graceful way out of it.

Notes: The sheer level of trust is adorable, and I’m always here for snake Crowley.

A Little Less Celestial by Kedreeva on AO3. (2,360 words).

Tags: Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual, Sharing a Bed, Ineffable Husbands, Literal Sleeping Together, Wingfic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Aziraphale accidentally falls asleep, and Crowley teaches him sleeping isn't so bad, really.

Notes: Oh my God, this was so calming to read in a way I really can’t describe? Also, now I want a bookshelf bed.

Just One Yesterday by Kedreeva on AO3. (1,952 words).

Tags: True Form Crowley, True Form Aziraphale, Ineffable Husbands, Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Post-Apocalypse, Time Travel, Time Loop, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Missing Scene.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Crowley and Aziraphale didn't stop the apocalypse on the first try, but you know what they say... try, try again.

Notes: I could not tell you the plot of this, but that image of Crowley’s true form was beautiful (and the artwork was phenomenal!).

So, there we have it! I hope you enjoy them, and have a nice week. By the way, if you have instagram, please would you consider following @justaceofficial? They are trying to get funding for a TV series which focuses on an asexual main character, and they ran an asexual advent running up to this week!

[mugiwara-rosewolf]

Alphabet Headcanons

One Piece Edition

Shanks

SFW

A=Affection (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

Yes, Shanks is affectionate. He will take any opportunity to be near you without smothering you. He’ll have you sitting in his lap at every opportunity, if you’ll let him. 

If you’re not okay with that, just having shoulders brushing is okay with him. When there’s a moment to rest, in public or private, as long as you two are touching in some way, Shanks will be happy as a clam.

Of course there are other ways one can be affectionate. So--perhaps equally as important as the action of physical touch--Shanks appreciates the value of words. 

As such, the Red-Haired captain always knows just what to say in order to encourage you, affirm your decisions, to express his appreciation for you and empathise with what you’re feeling. 

Shanks is also extremely intuitive. As well spoken as he is, and as much as he likes to talk, he also knows how and when to listen--actually listen. With him, you’ll always know that your being, your voice, is always appreciated. 

B=Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Show your strength. Whether it be physically, mentally, morally, emotionally--almost any way you can imagine--Shanks will be deeply affected by the display and take notice. 

For example: he admires Makino’s kindness for taking care of Luffy and her grace when confronted by dangerous bandits. He admires Luffy for his loyalty to friends and determination to pursue his dream of becoming ‘King of the Pirates’.

Whether it’s going toe to toe with a swordsman, standing up for a bullying victim, enduring painful hardships, or just going off on somebody about the importance of loyalty--just stick to your guns and Shanks will love & admire you for it.

C=Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

Oh my goodness this man--this man is a closeted cuddle monster. If you thought he was affectionate before, that was just him playing it cool. When it’s just the two of you? Ho-boy.

Of course he’ll listen if you’re not comfortable at any particular moment, but again, if you let him, Shanks will plop you down in his lap. No matter your height or weight, this man will hold you and make you feel wanted--because he does. 

Whether sitting up or lying down, Shanks will wrap his arm(s) around your waist and hold your waist and hold you close. He loves to feel your heartbeat so close to his--cause that’s what he loves most about you--in every possible way.

D=Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

His dream is pretty much the same as when he was a kid, back when he and Buggy were cabin boys on Roger’s ship. He wants to have his own ship with a reliable crew and to take his time travelling the world. 

The only thing that’s changed is that he wants to do all those things with you. It seems like such a small change, and yet to Shanks that little adjustment changes everything. 

The way Shanks sees it--if life is an adventure, then life with you would be the greatest adventure he could ever accept. 

If for some reason you weren’t able to travel with Shanks and his crew, the Red-Haired captain would still do everything in his power to include you in his life. 

Postcards from Loguetown, Sake from Sabaody--living vicariously through a pirate (and a Yonko at that!) would turn your mailbox into the world’s greatest curiosity shop.

E=Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

As laid back and fancy-free as Shanks is--he does not choose a life partner lightly. Because that’s exactly how he sees them--a Life partner. 

Sure, there was probably a phase of his life where he treated romance and intimacy more flippantly. He grew up with stereotypically rowdy and promiscuous pirates as his role models and mentors. It would take some time for him to realize that such shallow connections didn’t really suit him.

But once he fully realizes himself; his goals, his morals, his priorities, etc, he would treat relationships and intimacy more seriously.

That being said, when he finds somebody, you bet your bottom dollar this man is gonna Commit. Try to make you smile, try to make you laugh, be there when you’re sad, listen when you’re mad, he’ll aim to do all the above and more if he can.

If/when your relationship is confirmed, he’ll expect a similar level of commitment from you. This man is loyal to a fault. He does not choose his friends and family lightly. Once he grows attached to someone, he will do his best for them in whatever way they need.

But when he chooses a Partner, again, he’s gonna want a similar effort to be made for him as well. (In this house, we stan equivalent exchange in relationships).

F=Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

This all depends on the threat level. 

If someone is intimidating, boasting, or otherwise making his s/o anxious/uncomfortable, Shanks will intervene by just waltzing in and distracting the stranger in his charismatic, dorky pacifist way.

But if there’s a chance of his s/o actually coming to harm (or god forbid having their life threatened)--ho-boy. 

Bitch better put some brown pants on ‘cause they’s about to shit themselves. Hands down, Red-Hair Shanks is down to murder to protect his loved ones. 

We’ve all seen the footage. Shanks can be downright terrifying when he needs to be. And protecting his s/o from harm is an absolute necessity. 

He tries to avoid violent confrontation if he can help it, but threaten someone he cares about and you gonna get yo ass whipped with his (1) good hand.

G=Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Contrary to what many expect of pirates, Shanks isn’t a very materialistic person. (In utter contrast to Buggy and others).

He’s not really the type to buy every little trinket that reminds him of you. And he doesn’t expect that kinda behaviour from you either. If you are that kind of person? Great! 

Shanks will appreciate pretty much any way you're willing to express your affections. He’ll happily accept anything you give him as long as he understands the thought/meaning behind it. Gift giving is appreciated, but not expected or required. 

However, if/when he does decide to give you a gift, rest assured that it’s gonna pack one helluvan emotional punch (*cough Straw Hat *cough*). 

For some reason I’m picturing the hand-carved engagement necklaces from Avatar the Last Airbender. I feel like he’d give you those types of gifts--small, but beautiful and immeasurably meaningful.

(How Shanks would go about carving a necklace after the loss of his arm, Idk. But this is Shanks we’re talking about. BAMF would find a way.)

H=Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

Yes, yes he does. He doesn’t offer hugs as often as one would expect (esp. After losing his arm). But he will willingly accept any and as many hugs as you are willing to give him.

When he does hug you, it is usually him reaching around you from behind. Besides the heartbeat thing mentioned earlier, I have no idea why he does this. Maybe cause he feels like a shield around you--that he can protect you, you can support him and vice versa. Affectionate, devoted, but not smothering.

Then, of course, there’s the obligatory reunion &/or ‘thank god you’re alive’ hugs that are bound to happen when 1 or more partners lives a dangerous life on the sea.

I=Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

Oh Shanks is a raging romantic at heart. Love makes him absolutely twitterpated. He’s affectionate and can be an absolute cuddle monster when the mood strikes him. 

But the majority of the time (esp. In an established relationship) the manic energy of love is often tempered by his naturally easy-going personality. Shanks is the same in his romantic gestures as he is with almost everything--he is super duper uber chill about it.

It’s the little things that carry the most meaning for him.

Tucking a wildflower behind your hair (anybody can rock a flower in their hair, fucking fight me)

Putting his arm around your waist or over the back of your chair (he’ll only do the cheesy ‘stretch and yawn’ technique to make you laugh)

Any sort of teasing or banter is fair game too, especially if you’re on the more playful or bashful side.

No matter how rowdy he and his crewmates can be, Shanks isn’t all that loud with his romanticism. The freakouts are usually before or after he’s done something grander/more elaborate than usual (Like that engagement necklace mentioned before).

Otherwise, as long as your boundaries have been established, he’ll do as many or as little of those cute intimate gestures as you’ll allow. Whatever bounds you give him, he’ll lounge comfortably within them so long as it suits you both.

J=Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

He’s not really the jealous type. He does, however, tend to sulk when he wants your attention. Like a sad, kicked puppy he’ll pout until you refocus on him. The moment he knows he has your attention again you’ll easily be able to imagine a tail wagging behind his back just from the sparkle in his eyes.

See U=Unique for more

K=Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

Remember that ‘previous experience’ we mentioned before? The part of his development where he thought intimacy consisted of one night stands at the tavern? He’ll probably have long outgrown that frame of mind by the time you enter a relationship with him. But what he gained from that time of his life, was experience. 

Experience which serves him very well in a relationship. He’s a quick study, and thus a phenomenal kisser. He’ll figure out all the ways to make you melt with just his lips, teeth and tongue. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

He may get a bit over-excited on occasion, so not every kiss will be perfect. Clacking teeth and bonking noses are bound to happen once in a while. (He may be a Yonko but he’s still a giant dork).

Otherwise, besides your occasional snogging session and other such steamy moments, Shanks is a surprisingly domestic kisser. Cute kisses on the cheek, forehead and temple are common.

He’ll also surprise you on occasion, kissing your ear, nose or chin just to see how you’ll react. If it makes you smile or laugh, he’ll keep going. If you blush, he’ll laugh and take note. Again, a quick study, this man is.

L=Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

The words slip out in the middle of something utterly mundane. That much is for sure. Either he’s known for a while (realizing mid-battle/mid-argument or something) and just can’t hold it in anymore--

OR--he just saw you there; washing dishes, swabbing decks, sipping sake, what have you--and the realization just happens out loud. “Oh shit, I’m in love with you…” *cue momentary panic* “HOly SHIT, I LOVE YOU!”I

When he finds his feelings are reciprocated, Shanks will feel like the King of the Pirates, One Piece be damned. From then on he’ll be boasting to everyone on his crew that he’s in love. 

Anybody who wasn’t around during his epiphany will congratulate and tease him. Anybody who was there will chuckle and roll their eyes. Money will change hands and Beckman will be 100,000 berries richer.

Besides his nakama, those ‘three little words’ are meant for your ears only. In public, he’ll typically stick to those little gestures mentioned previously. Proud to be your partner, but keeping it low-key, ya know?

Contrary to what some may think, Captain Shanks is in fact capable of discretion. Not quite the same as subtlety, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

Anyways, back on his ship it’s a whole ‘nother story. The manic energy of being in love mixed with his own innate dorkiness has led to some pretty ridiculous moments--all of which make his crew laugh and you smile like sunshine.

M=Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

Honestly, Shanks doesn’t mind either way.

He’s happy to have you as his life partner, he’d be happy to be your husband.

But if you don’t drop down on one knee, or explicitly address the topic of marriage, the subject will likely never come up.

If you ask, of course he’ll say yes. If you address the topic, but don’t act on it, Shanks may not act on it at first. But w/ a bit of advice from Beckman he’ll take the hint and ask.

Either way, as long as the two of you are together for life, Shanks will be more than satisfied.

N=Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

Any time you two have together is precious to him. On the ship, through various markets, in various taverns--as long as the two of you are side by side, doing something together, he’ll consider it a date.

So, by that logic, y’all go on dates all the time.

O=Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

Those big, extravagant, over-the-top romantic gestures. Candle-lit dinners, bed covered in rose petals, extra shit like that.

Shanks is a Simple Man, like the Lynyrd Skynyrd song. So those kinds of exuberant gestures aren’t typically his style. 

Sort of a continuation of the previous section--if he does try for one of those more extravagant date ideas than you know he’s up to some shit. Special occasions only. Whatever it is, you’re damn sure gonna enjoy yourselves, lol

P=Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

Uhm, have you met Shanks? Man pokes fun at everyone he calls ‘friend’. Picking on Luffy for wanting to be a pirate. Drunkenly draping himself over Mihawk just to get on his nerves, the list goes on.

Believe me when I say this man loves to tease, prank and challenge his s/o at every opportunity. It’s just his personality. 

Jump-scares, banter, pad puns, pretty much everything you can think of, this guy’s gonna try it. He’s gonna poke fun at you, but in a way that pushes you to improve; to grow your wit and prove your mettle.

That and he’s a generally light-hearted person.  He loves having a good laugh with his crew and his s/o about just about anything.

If he’s feeling particularly mischievous, he might go for tickles, but that’s just him trying to get you close and maybe turn up the heat a little bit. Dork.

Q=Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

Contrary to what some may assume about Shanks, he doesn’t always have all the answers. He is very wise, and occasionally insightful, but not perpetually so.

In moments where he is taken by surprise, afraid, or in a moment of panic, he will turn to you. You and Beckman are probably the two people he relies on the most. When he is unsure, he will ask your opinion. 

Sometimes he’ll ask just cause he’s curious. He set out to travel and learn about the world, so of course he would be interested in different perspectives. 

And if you ask his opinion, he’ll freely give it. He’ll give you his perspective so that you both have a chance to learn about each other.

He’s not a fake or duplicitous person, so you can be sure that his opinions are honest and true. He’ll make sure that you can count on him as much as he does on you.

R=Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

Shanks is a pirate. To him, ‘spontaneous’ is part of the job description. He’s not the speedy kinda spontaneous, though. The guy is known for his ‘go-with-the-flow’ attitude--like a human lazy river.

Strange as that metaphor sounds, that’s just how he is. Not in any kinda rush, just a pirate enjoying his life on the high seas. He’s happy just exploring new places with his s/o and his crew.

He’s happy chilling in the tavern for however long he wants. Following a whim at his own leisurely pace, that’s how Shanks lives his life--with a nice, laid-back kinda spontaneity.

S=Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Pre-injury, Shanks liked being the big spoon. Usually he’d just sleep in lounge pants (not unlike his typical daywear, just without the shirt and cape).

After his injury, his sleep attire doesn’t really change, but he can’t really lie on his side for too long. So instead he usually lies on his back, letting you tuck yourself into whichever side you choose.

Since his arm was bitten off at the elbow, he can still press you closer with his upper arm if you choose to lay on his left side. It feels like the perfect nook to tuck yourself into.

You can drape your arm across this waist, lay your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. That’s when you know you’re in the safest place in the world. 

T=Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

Shanks wouldn’t be in a relationship with you if he didn’t trust you. In order for him to trust you, he’ll need to have a good sense of your morals. 

He’ll respect it if your moral outlooks differ in some respects. For example, He and Buggy have very different ideas of what should be treasured in life & yet he still considers the clown to be a close friend.

However, as his romantic partner, it would make sense if the two of you had most of your principles in common. If there’s too great a difference/divide in your foundational beliefs, then the longevity of your relationship would be markedly limited.

Once Shanks has a solid understanding of your moral centre, he’ll give you more of his trust. He’s not really the kinda guy to actively hide anything. But as you two get to know each other, he’ll be more willing to volunteer information about himself and his life.

He’ll be even more unabashedly himself; more goofy, more charming, more openly intelligent and devoted. (The list could go on, but I’m gonna cap it here, lol). 

After that, it’s just a matter of commitment and time--that’s how an intimate emotional relationship is built. 

Because Shanks views romantic relationships to be a long term commitment (the whole ‘rest of our lives/death do us part’ idea is rather important to him), he is not in a terrible rush to trust someone. But he does want to eventually get to the point where he knows his partner inside and out.

U=Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

He is (almost) unflappable. I swear to god, almost nothing phases this man. He hardly ever gets angry (unless innocents or loved ones are threatened) and doesn’t really get jealous either.  (Have you seen this man? He has nothing to be jealous of!)

You mad about something? He’ll let you go off about it for however long you need. Even if it’s him you’re mad at, he’ll take it. He’ll listen to your rant and discuss it with you to help you cool off. He meets all of your moods evenly. No protests, no complaints, no interruptions, just active listening and meaningful dialogue.

The only exception to this is when (before/during/after) or or both of you is at risk for injury or death. That’s when his over-reactive tendencies rear up and fights are had. Though these fights are almost always from a place of either moral determination for the self or worry for the other person. 

Also, this man is willing to try anything you show even a modicum of interest in. A new kind of sushi at the market? He’s down. Hiking up a mountainous island? Sure, why not. You a fan of art and crafts? Your room will be swallowed by paper cranes in three days (trial and error, he says).

V=Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

It takes a while. Shanks trusts you implicitly, but he’s lived a long life as a pirate--and being a pirate ain’t an easy life to live. While Shanks is not opposed to sharing his emotions, necessarily, it takes a lot for him to thoroughly break down.

Not many people know this about Shanks, but he is just as much of a crier as Luffy is. He’s just gotten better at hiding it over the years (or so he tells himself). 

But when it happens, it’s just as heartbreakingly messy as you can imagine. Waterfalls pouring from wide eyes. His hair askew with his expression crumpling. Teeth gritted and lips trembling, he looks like something broken. His whole body shudders with the emotions raking through him. At first, you won’t know how to put him back together.

Shanks is a much more emotional person than most would give him credit for. He feels things very deeply and when he crumbles what he needs is an anchor. 

He’s not a broken vase that needs to be glued back together. He’s a dreamer with a heavy burden. Someone who can only carry the weight for so long on his own. What he needs is a solid pillar of a person to hold him close and tell him that he’s going to be okay--that there’s a lesson to be learned/knowledge to be gained from what he’s feeling and why he’s feeling. 

After the storm passes, he won’t likely mention the incident to anyone. (His crew will know it happened anyway, they know him too long to be oblivious). But he will acknowledge it to himself. He will thank you for guiding and supporting him, but only quietly, so just the two of you can hear. 

Remind him that he’s not alone in the world. Remind him that it’s okay to lean on others for more than just the daily duties of a pirate captain. It’s okay to be vulnerable.

W=Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Shanks loves to sing. He’s not exactly the best at it, but he enjoys the act so much he doesn’t really care how good or bad he is. 

When it’s his turn to swab the decks, he’ll be dancing with the mop like he’s jamming with a microphone stand. When the crew get drunk together, he’ll egg them into singing sea shanties with him.

When they lose a crew member or a friend on their journeys, Shanks will start up the low chorus of mourning in memoriam. When you wake from a nightmare or just can’t sleep, he’ll sing you a lullaby. It’s this quiet little quirk that makes you love him all the more.

X=X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

Similar to ‘F for Fear’--if Shanks’ s/o is ever attacked or injured in battle...that bastard is gonna get their shit wrecked by one of the most powerful men in the world. 

But once the dust is settled, the man completely switches gears. While his s/o is being treated and recovering from their injuries, Shanks turns into the ultimate worry-warted, mother-henning helicopter-partner. 

He already has a habit of over-reacting at the oddest moments. But now that said reactions are actually somewhat justified? Poor man turns into a fretting ninny at the littlest things. 

Mishandling Shanks’ worry and devoted protectiveness in these moments can result in fights about your well being and your being able to participate in any upcoming conflicts.

Once you get the hang of it, though, Shanks’ behaviour becomes simultaneously the most endearing and most exasperating thing in the world.

Please, be patient with him. He’s trying his best.

Y=Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Honestly? It’s near-impossible to get on this man’s nerves. You’d have to be a pretty big buzz-kill to get even a modicum of annoyance out of him.

He’s a bit grumpier when hungover, but even then, as long as you are considerate of lights and noises, he’s just gonna sulk and nurse his headache in grumpy peace.

One of the few things that may irritate you is his lax attitude about cleanliness and hygiene. When you’re one of the most powerful people in the world, exploring the world and constantly celebrating something with sake--thoughts of housekeeping kinda fall to the wayside.

If you get tired of smelling booze on his breath and clothes, or can’t take the ‘bachelor pad’ mess that is the captain’s quarters, you’re gonna need to sit him down and seriously talk to him about it. Otherwise he won’t even realize that there’s a problem.

Z=Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

Hmmm...I would say that Shanks is a passionate partner, just not in the loud kinda way that’s usually associated with the word. 

It’s more like a...quiet determination. A deep well of earnestness that he makes sure to show you whenever you need it. 

He never wants you to feel like he doesn’t love you or doesn’t feel as deeply about your relationship. He’d put everything on the line for you. 

And he’ll treasure and enjoy any passion you show him, in whatever way you choose to express it.

A/N: And that, my friends is my first attempt at ‘Alphabet Headcanons’. Three days which could have been spent in boredom instead contributed to this adorable masterpiece, lol. 

Thank you to @demigodxtonio, @r-a-f-t-e-l, @kalissen, @r0r0noa, @kin-sama and @adicoon for the wonderful GIFs and thank you to @burnedbyshoto​ for inspiring this work with their SFW and NSFW headcanons about our favorite blasty-boi Bakugou Katsuki.

Y’all let me know what you think & let me know if you wanna see any NSFW headcanon--for Shanks. Or, let me know if ya’ll wanna see SFW/NSFW content for other One Piece & BNHA characters.

All the best

--Rose

[solies-scripts]

Tanaka Ryuunosuke SFW Alphabet

Sorry this took so long for me to post. This will be the only one I post today as I have a really bad migraine and I just want to chill out for a while 💕

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Ryuu is super affectionate with you all the time. Everyone knows that you’re dating because he isn’t afraid of pda; he always has an arm around your waist, hand on your back, booty and is constantly pressing kisses somewhere or your face

B = Beginning (How would the relationship start?)

It all starts with you and Tanaka getting close and becoming really good friends then he starts to realise how much he actually likes you. He’ll then slowly start dropping hints that he likes you and will become your simp which eventually leads to you asking him out because he was too nervous

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He wants to cuddle you all the damn time. Loves laying down with you on top of him or laying on your sides with your face pressed into his chest. He enjoys feeling like he is protecting you when cuddling you so he will rarely let you be the big spoon but sometimes you can convince him

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

100% wants to settle down with you, it’s something he talks about pretty often while the two of you are cuddling most nights.

Tanaka can be pretty messy but he will try and clean up after himself as he doesn’t want you picking up after him. 

While he can cook simple meals he cannot cook anything that has more than a few ingredients. He gets confused and ends up burning everything

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into the relationship?)

He puts all his effort into the relationship because he wants to show you how much he adores you every moment of every day. You can always expect him to be putting his all into everything he does and this includes you and your relationship

F = Fear) (What do they do if you’re scared? How would they comfort you? How would they wanna be comforted if they were scared?)

When you’re scared he will snuggle you up in a blanket and try to make you laugh in hopes to take your mind off of what has scared you. If it was a person who scared you then you can bet he will be wanting to kick their ass

Tanaka would just want to bury his face in your chest and just hold you when he is scared. He will talk to you during this but it will be a bit difficult to hear him seeing as his face is in your chest

G = Gifts (Do they like giving you gifts? Do they like receiving them?)

Loves giving you gifts because he wants you to have the best of everything. It makes him happy when he sees the smile that forms on your face when you get a gift from him

He also loves receiving gifts from you because it means that you were thinking of him when you bought it. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or flashy for him to be happy, he actually enjoys getting silly little gifts

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

This man loves hugging you and will be hugging you 80% of the time you two are together. His hugs are warm and will always make you feel safe, having his arms around you is his way of showing that he will always be there for you

I = Intimacy (Do they have any problems with intimacy? How romantic are they?)

There are no problems with intimacy here, he knows that he loves you and that you love him so he doesn’t struggle at all. Ryuu is a cliche romantic as he gets most of his romance advice from crappy romance movies, he will always try to be romantic and he does enjoy being romantic but sometimes it can come of a bit cringy you love it though

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Tanaka is a very jealous person but he never gets angry with you for it as it isn’t your fault. He will never let someone disrespect you or make you uncomfortable. When he gets jealous he will scare the other person off then latch himself onto you and kiss all over your face

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Loves kissing you. His kisses are usually rough but sweet and they always show an amazing amount of emotion

He thinks there is nothing better than kissing your lips, they’re so sweet and inviting that he just can’t help himself. Tanaka will melt if you kiss him on the cheek, he thinks it’s so adorable when you give him a little peck before you go off to do something

L = Love (Who says it first? How fast is it said?)

He would say it first and fairly early on in the relationship. Ryuu fell fast and hard for you so he isn’t too afraid about telling you that

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of wedding would it be?)

He cannot wait to marry you one day, he wants you to be a part of his life forever so marrying you is one of his biggest goals in the relationship. It would be a pretty small wedding with just your family and friends but it would be so lively

N = Night Out (What’s a typical date night for them? How often do they go out?)

He enjoys more energetic dates that will make memories rather than going to movies or anything like that. He is all down for more chilled out dates of course, especially if it’s something you want to do.

Tanaka aims to take you out at least once a week but when he doesn’t manage that he will make the next date you go on is extra special to make up for it

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Ryuu is pretty open with you from the beginning as he hasn’t really got much to hide. He will open up about more personal things pretty quickly as he trusts you so much that he doesn’t feel the need to wait too long

P = Playful (How playful are they?)

He is so goddamn playful with you that there is never a dull moment with him. He is always cracking jokes or doing some stupid shit that never fails to bring a smile to your face

Q = Questions (Do they ask for your opinion on things? Will they share theirs?)

He will always be asking your opinion on things because he values everything you have to say. Your opinion is super important to him.

When giving his opinion he will always make sure that you want it beforehand so he doesn’t upset you or anything. He wants to give his opinion but only if you want it 

R = Random (How spontaneous are they? Do they do things on the spot or do they have to plan ahead?)

Very spontaneous all the time. He is always doing something stupid and he will try to drag you into it every time which you let him of course. He will sometimes try to plan things ahead but you always end up changing the plans as you go so there isn’t much point to it

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Ryuu is very protective of you and will always make sure that you’re safe. He knows that you can take care of yourself but he enjoys taking care of you as well so he will do that

He will think it’s super sweet if you try to be protective of him as well and he will let you do it unless he feels like you’re going to get hurt, then he will step in and calm you down

T = Trust (How much do they trust you?)

He trusts you with all his heart. From the moment he fell in love with you he knew he could trust you and every day he is proved correct

U = Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

His crazy amount of crackhead energy. He is crazy and he knows it 

V = Vent (Do they let you vent to them after a hard day? Will they vent to you?)

Tanaka insists that you vent to him because he doesn’t want you bottling your emotions up. He is a great listener too and if you need to cry then he will hold you close until you’re finished

He will vent to you when he needs to because he knows that you will listen to him for as long as he needs. He just wants you to sit with him as he gets what he needs off his chest, maybe even give him a hug if he starts getting emotional

W = Wild Card (Random Headcanon)

Tanaka is the most supportive boyfriends out there so whatever you’re interested in he will try and learn the basics of it so he can be a little closer to you. If you play any sports or compete in anything then he will be there to cheer you on as your number one fan

X = X-ray (What would they do if you got injured?)

He would freak out if you got injured. After the initial panic he will make sure you’re okay and do whatever you need him to. He will become your own personal nurse while you recover

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Ryuu wouldn’t want someone who is mean to other people or him. Even though he is an intimidating person he is very sweet and he hates anyone who is mean without any reason

Z = Zzz (What’re some sleeping habits of theirs?)

He doesn’t move much in his sleep but he snores so loud. When the two f you first share a bed you will probably have issues falling asleep with how loud he snores