#like EYE think the morality of the characters is excellent but there's no moral or political lens to the actions in universe

[llycaons]

at about an hour in, mistborn appears to be a competently written and exciting but thematically basic and occasionally pretentious action fantasy series. I couldn't be more satisfied, this is exactly what scratches the itch. I don't think I'll have much more commentary on it.

[eccentricallygothic]

|| Back To Black ||

Pairing: Dark!Winter Soldier James Bucky Barnes | Morally Gray Princess!You. 

Description: When the Winter soldier experiments go wrong on your fiance Crown Prince James Barnes and he ends up crippled and unstable, you call the engagement off and your family proposes that the alliance can still be on if his family pairs you up with his twin brother Nick instead. But then James breaks out of the lab one night and comes straight for you, razing through everyone who stands in his way, hurt and unforgiving.

Disclaimer: I do not own James Bucky Barnes, Nick Fowler or any of the MCU characters mentioned (sadly). This story contains dark and mature content. Minors do not interact.  

Warnings: Dubcon, morally gray!reader, opportunistic reader, smut with plot, dark!Bucky, angst, winter soldier, exhibitionism, choking, hair pulling, slapping, humiliation, degradation, dumbification, manhandling, unprotected p-in-v, biting, missionary and doggy style, breeding kink, creampie, fear kink, power imbalance, Bucky's metal arm (?), pet names (rosey, baby), Daddy kink, sir kink.

Note: I think this sounds a bit unserious and somewhat goofy aah but this was exactly my idea and I don't think I could have done it any different. Please let me know what you think <3 

. 

You rolled your eyes with a scoff at something your now fiance and ex brother-in-law to be, Crown Prince Nick Barnes, said. The night was cool and you had ordered for the lights of the garden that your balcony faced to be turned down. Your silk nightgown that was dark blue in color -Nick's royal color- hung from your shoulders in the most comforting way as the skirt bit of the article swayed with the gentle breeze. You heard Nick's chuckle on the other end of the video call and before you retorted with something edgy because that was just the kind of Princess that you were, you shifted against the railing to make yourself more comfortable while still holding the phone in such a way that he could see you.

His demanding nature was not one you particularly fancied but you supposed that was the kind of liberty that came with being an actual heir. Though you couldn't help but be reminded of how although his brother -the older twin- was a much better crown prince than Nick could ever be and yet he had never made you feel inferior in status by imposing his will on you.  

It was impossible for you not to muse on the possibility that if your older sister, The actual Crown Princess of your kingdom, had been chosen by his brother instead of you, Nick would still treat her the same way and if she would put up with having to be subservient. 

"All things considered, Your Royal Highness, we are still not having a dozen children" the title never failed to sting your tongue due to how you had never had to use it for your original fiance. 

But Nick was just one of those people. 

His snort made you want to roll your eyes but you knew better than to disrespect him as the two of you shared a rather formal relationship that was quite terse around the edges. Perhaps, his brother had spoiled you too much. "I always find it amusing that you think you have a choice in–" you were busy watching the stars because you could not bear to look at him when he behaved like this. But then he abruptly changed the topic and you didn't care to express concern by glancing at the screen, "I thought you said you excused your ladies, little one" he did not appreciate being lied to; something he shared with his identical brother.  

"I did, Your Excellency" when he sighed in disapproval, you had to avert your eyes from the sky to look down at him on the screen with an air of annoyance about you. "I really–" 

"Then who is that behind you?" Nick had also been busy reading away on a tablet as he traveled somewhere -probably back to the Palace- in a vehicle but now he narrowed in on his screen. 

Your eyebrows remained flat and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. "Ha ha, Your Highness, very funny" he had a thing for making silly jokes when he was in an agreeable mood, or at least moving towards one. 

"Y/n, I am serious" there was an urgency in his voice as he leaned closer to get a better look. "Turn around right now and tell me who is–" 

"You even wear his color now, huh rosey?" Your body took a good few moments to register the voice behind you and you nearly failed to recognize it at first. Though when your brain finally managed to make the association, your heart dropped into your stomach and your blood ran ice cold. 

You spun around on your heels so hard they ached, coming face to face with James Barnes; the original Crown Prince and your real fiance. The man who had chosen you over your sister; giving preference to you for once, the brave warrior who had surrendered his body to his country; so they could make the best protector possible out of him, the honorable fool who only wanted to do good; a hero too noble for this wretched world.

Your phone that now blared with Nick's alarmed yells slipped through your numbing fingers but James caught it before it could break against the ground. "What the hell are you doing here?" You harshly whispered as if in a defensive autopilot, overwhelmed by how he had grown three times his size. Your eyes unintentionally traveled to where his arm had gotten mutilated on an expedition and you found a metal one glinting up at you in its stead. Maybe your reaction could be considered foolish in hindsight, but the knowledge that you were utterly at this unstable man's mercy and had nothing to defend yourself with against his monstrous stature terrified you. That in turn caused you to act in the only way you thought was appropriate as you desperately hoped for your facade to affect him in a helpful way. 

"Did all those years mean nothing to you, rosey?" His face was covered in stubble and his dark hair was long as it obscured most of his features, deep voice animalistic as his black leather clad form seemed to expand and contract with each heavy breath. Your throat tightened in on itself and your breath hitched. What the hell had they really done to him? 

"You shouldn't be here, James" you looked around for your guards– anyone but found the area to be eerily silent. How had you not noticed this ominous shift in your environment before? "That is against the rules as you're endangering the future Queen and many other people" he was all about rules and that was what you had disliked most about him. "Go back" your heart was on the verge of exploding but you pushed on with as much a semblance of composed firmness as you could muster. 

Nick's threats and curses melted into the background as James coldly snorted before snatching you by your hair, fingers snaking through a tangle of the strands, the action causing you to wince. It was only when you tried to fight him back and the bustle caused the two of you to inch closer to the lighting of your chambers did his face really come into your view. Your eyes widened in horror as your hand went to clamp over the hold he had on you defensively.

His pale face was covered in blood splatters and his glossy teal eyes seemed to shake, their blown pupils crazed. 

"So it was always about the crown then, huh, rosey?" You would never have expected him to sound as hurt and betrayed in this maddened state as he did.

"You know it was" you lied through your teeth to try and get his stance to falter like it always did when you counterattacked to his affectionate advances with hostility; the only thing you had known all your life. "Nothing matters more than the crown" the world functioned on power. So you had always used and abused that you had over him; over his heart. 

"I see" except, it didn't seem to budge him much today. Your eyes desperately scanned your dark surroundings again, this time for a weapon albeit still in vain. "In that case, you should be with me, then" your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you whimpered at how his fingers tightened around your neck. 

"James!" And then you were getting dragged back into your chambers. 

Once he had approached your bed, he placed your phone on the bedside table so a fuming Nick could clearly see whatever was about to unfold. 

Your flailing form was yanked back in frame and then held tightly in place by the clasping of his metal hand over the deep neckline of your nightgown. "Because I am all fixed up," your eyes turned to look at him in horror as he chuckled dryly, "and back to take all that's mine" you screamed and hot tears finally rushed down your flushed cheeks when your compressed breasts sprang free in the air upon his tearing a thick valley between the front piece of your gown. James only snickered into the camera while his brother screamed at him to not dare damage what was his amongst other profanities. 

But wasn't James simply repossessing what had always belonged to him in the first place? 

He had finally corrected himself in the way the world deserved. 

Now he would only live for himself like everyone else was. 

He was done getting played for a fool by all. 

"Please!" Your words fell on deaf ears as the man proceeded to further rip his brother's color off your body furiously until nothing remained in his hold except for your nudity, strong jaw nearly ticking broken due to how it was clenched as he did so. 

"Tell me, dear, did you also let him have you?" You were nearly petrified at this point both by shame and fear as he manhandled you onto the bed before crawling over you like a predator and trapping your limbs under his. "And if you dare lie to me then so God help me" his metal hand roughly fondled your breasts as his other hand tightly restrained your limp yet determined wrists above your head. 

"S- Stop!" Your back arched and you turned your face away in disgust when he started sniffing you all over like a hungry hound. 

"Hm, what about this little pussy of mine down here" a chill ran down your spine at how the crevices of his metal hand felt against your nether lips when he stroked them. "Has she forgotten her Daddy, hm?" He was the stark opposite of the man you had been engaged to and that in addition to how you had last seen him slashing at the lab assistants while speaking a language you did not understand as well as how semi-liquid crimson particles covered his face caused for a wave of pure terror to rush over you. But it was nothing compared to the chilling fact that his body heat and touch -regardless of its fashion- had awakened that one familiar feeling only he could evoke in you.

Nick went silent at James' words and you felt blood rush to your tear stained cheeks. 

Contrary to popular belief, you were not the chaste future Queen saving herself for her wedding night and King like the royal protocol demanded. 

But in your defense, the then future King, James, himself was the one who had defiled you because you were already his. And you had let him for you could act all high and mighty as you desired in front of him as well as others due to how comfortably open he had always been about his feelings for you hence presenting a very vulnerable perhaps even a subservient part of himself to you on a silver platter, but also because the man knew how to fuck.

You were addicted to how he felt against you and though you had never brought your suspicion to your lips, you had wondered for the entirety of the time your betrothal had changed to Nick whether the younger twin would ever be able to come even close to his brother. 

"Would you look at that?" His coo sounded out of place and ominous due to how the pretend softness stood out from the menace of his tone. "It doesn't seem like she has," your fingers instinctively clawed the air to try and take a hold of his hand to deal with the feeling of his bionic digits invading their way between your petals. "She still weeps and blinks up dumbly at me like a stupid slut all the same" horror filled you as you became hyper aware of Nick's eyes on you, and yet your skin began to buzz at the filthy words that still scratched you in that one way regardless of everything. "Rosey…?" It was chilling how he playfully raised an eyebrow like he wasn't covered in blood and flesh of the people that he had torn apart on his way to you, instead giving you a lazy grin as he spread your privates apart with the back of his hand. "Be honest for once and say, you didn't let him touch you, did you?" Your loins sparked to life when the tip of his finger ghosted over your entrance. "I mean, I know how demanding a whore you really are, common ways can't satisfy you and you don't waste your time on lost causes" James bent down to inch his grin closer to peer down at you and you had to turn your eyes away with a clasping shut of your lids. You had been caught. "The crown matters more than anything, huh?" Your eyes further clenched at his taunt and a shiver reverberated through you when his hot tongue darted out to swipe across the tear stains on your cheeks. 

He had promised you during your courting period that he would never allow a single tear to fall from your eyes. It seemed so that even in this state, he was determined to keep it. This way or that.

"I- I belong to someone else now." Having always been treated inferior to your sister, you refused to let go of your only chance at power. So jutting your chin out determinedly you refused to look at him and falter in your stead, for you knew it would make you cave as his face was still that of your protector and pursuer.

Because even if a woman had not the slightest preference for her admirer, the mere knowledge that she was fancied earned him a place in her heart still. 

"No, you don't" his words were stern and determined. "You were mine and you are mine" his lips trailed their way down to your neck to mark you his while one of his metal fingers penetrated your intimate band of muscles, causing you to bite back a moan as your pussy clenched defensively; hence intensifying the pleasure. "It's not your fault, really. Your little girl brain is too small to remember the difference between me and him for too long since we are identical, huh baby?" You hated how your traitorous hips betrayed you and began to move in sync with his finger. "But you don't have to worry your pretty little head about that, my sweet rosey…" His lips ghosted over your ear, hot breath fanning your alarmed skin. "I'll just claim you again to remind you" his teeth were sharp and unforgiving against your skin that had faded out the marks of his passion. "And I'll put my heir into that little womb of yours so whenever your tiny mind tries to get too silly again, my child will remind you who you belong to" he refused to acknowledge your protests at that and plopped his fingers out of you just long enough to undo his pants. "Besides," his hard cock easily found its way to your entrance, as always, "isn't procreation one of the duties of the King and the Queen?" 

It was then you realized that his transformation had been physical in every sense. 

Your eyes widened as your body jolted upwards in shock, lazed out hips now sparking up to life to almost try and get away from the cruel impaler that threatened to intrude it in a manner so devastating that the band feared a ripping of the lining. 

James snorted when your pussy refused to accept him and clenched in on itself defensively to shut him out, your petals nearly trembling in fear. "Aw, baby. How cute, you did stay faithful to me after all, huh" shaking his head when you only sobbed in response, he grunted as his huge shoulders moved to attempt an invasion yet again only to be denied. "Tsk, tsk, never learns her lesson, does she?" 

"Plea–" your words were cut off by a harsh smack resounding against your pussy lips and you jerked up and into his chest. 

"Bad pussy" he seemed to be immersed in a world of his own amusement and lust, ears deaf to your pleas while his dark eyes drank up every last drop you had to offer. "Always playing around with her Daddy" the force of his metal hand was cruel against your tender flesh when three short paced slaps came down on it in quick succession. "Thinking she has a choice, tsk" the next hit was hard and heavy. "It seems she needs to be reminded who calls the shots around here" two concluding slaps later, you were being braced for his cock again and surprisingly enough, your tense little pussy was much more compliant with receiving him this time. 

That, and the embarrassing amount of slick that had seeped through your petals as a product of the brief disciplining session. 

"You feel that, baby?" His eyes finally looked up into yours as he aligned himself along your entrance. "She's all fixed up for her Daddy now" and then he pushed in. 

"Oh!" Your back arched before you could respond since he bottomed out rudely at once, biting down on a sensitive patch of your neck the same time as when he intruded your insides. 

The thing was, it wasn't that James wasn't an experimental lover, no. The two of you had done things that you felt mortified to even think about for too long. But it had always been with proper care and vigilance because the then crown prince was very soft on you as he referred to you as his heart. So you treated him like a pet dog and trampled all over his feelings and the liberty you had found in his treatment of you; something you had never been allowed before. You were used to pulling at his strings like a puppeteer.

But now, the way he pulled and twisted you in whatever fashion that he desired… 

You never expected the rush of hot need that waved its way over you and the thick arousal that gushed out of your womb to slick his cock to be the result of his manhandling you like you were no more than a doll for him to play with. 

And then his touch that you had been deprived of for months was further blocking your intellectual faculties amongst other things. 

James' eyes fluttered close as his metal hand reached for your throat to squeeze out the remnants of your refusals. A grunt left him as he let himself reminisce as well as get overwhelmed by the velvet texture of your splotched walls. He brought his face closer to yours and groaned before pressing it into one of your cheeks to press hard, sloppy kisses all over it as his hips moved but only to press harder up your womb. 

It was James' custom invented way of getting you completely stretched out for his cock. 

… That had grown thrice its size because of his serum procedures. 

And the man had already been way bigger than the average. 

"J- Jame-s!" You gasped out, struggling to breathe. His stiff tip felt like it was beginning to penetrate something else. "P- Plea-se!"

"What do you want, huh baby?" Your features scrunched together in discomfort as you flexed your fingers again. They needed to be freed so they could hold onto something to cope with the overwhelming penetration.  

"Move…" A smirk pulled his lips apart and he opened his dark teal eyes to peer down at you, silently grunting as he pushed deeper at that. "P- Pl-ease–" your tears were starting to become hot and you could feel your nerves bulging against your forehead from the lack of oxygen. 

"Will you behave if I do?" Your toes curled as you hissed, the knee that you wanted to bring up as a way to deal with the pain trapped under his heavy thigh.

You timidly nodded because there was not much else left for you to do. It hurt, and you wanted him to move to ease the pain almost as much as you needed him to fuck you. 

James clicked his tongue in disapproval and bit down on one of your nipples in a punishing manner, making you jolt upwards in pain. "Use your words, honey." A surge of pure pleasure overwhelmed you and you moaned loudly with satisfied nods, letting him know that you were in the process of complying. 

Like you always did when he was buried balls deep in your cunt.

"So you were fucking him when he was courting you, weren't you?!" Nick was furious on the other line, feeling like a lied to fool as you had denied it when he had asked you about it. "I fucking knew it you stupid slut!" The words caused you to clench harder around James' girth as you bit your bottom lip. "I am–" he went to cut the call but a gun entered the frame to press into his temple as his car seemed to come to a halt. You heard a faint 'watch' being told to your fiance.

But for some twisted reason, the way in which Nick's livid eyes now watched you with a quiet rage caused the desire in your hips to only bubble hotter. He didn't have a choice for once and you could go against him all you pleased "I w- will behave… p-lease!" Your eyes had stuck on your fiance so James patted your cheek to redirect your attention to him. 

"Eyes on me" the demand was followed by his letting go of your wrists to snake his arms under your waist to hoist you up and in a more convenient position for his cock. You moaned as your fingers found his long hair to hold on to. 

"Y- Yes… sir" his leather jacket was coated in blood and human and you did not want yours to add to the mix. So you raked your mind and you raked it hard. "T- Thank you, sir" you rather prided yourself on your opportunistic wit. 

James chuckled darkly as he began to reel his hips back, your cavern making a loud decompression sound as a result. You found yourself sighing in relief when his hard skin unglued from yours because for a second it had begun to feel like he was stuck in your channel.

"So fucking clever even with that little brain, aren't we, baby?" Of course you could never truly fool him regardless of how good you were. 

"BUCKY! OH!" A vile whine loudly left you when he kissed your chin only to sink down his teeth into it next as his hips snapped against yours to fuck you upwards. He didn't halt this time and pulled out again to back thrust in, his movements slow but visibly desperate to speed up. "FUCK!" 

"Ah, there is that girl I raised on this cock and its milk" your chin stung when he finally let go to close his mouth on one of your cheeks now, causing you to shiver from how overwhelmed you felt by the pain in your face and the pleasure that bloomed in your pussy that was inching closer and closer to a proper pounding as result. 

"Please fuck your child in me!" It had been far too long. "Please! I need it so bad! Please fuck me full of your children so I can always remember who I belong to!" You liked how Nick watched– had to watch. It almost felt like revenge; a slap you had wanted to hit him stupid with for the longest time for making you feel so low when his brother, who was twice the man he could ever hope to be and your real suitor, never had. James' cock felt just right as he fucked you so good that you began to see neon stars. You didn't care anymore. Or at least, not in the moment. It felt as though your life depended on this release. 

Perhaps… it did.

Besides, the silence in your surroundings and gun next to Nick meant James had it covered in some way. Not that it was much of a surprise. His Kingdom had the greatest army to date and those soldiers were loyal and compliant only to him. 

"You know what's the best part about this, rosey?" Your mouth was agape as you panted and moaned through it alike, tugging at his silky strands as his ballsack clapped against the beginning of your ass before sliding into your cunt each time, the primal smell of slick, sweat and sex floating in the air around you.

"What is it, my King?" You were shameless with it, as you had always been. "Please tell me" the fake way in which you unclasped your fingers from his hair to scratch one of his cheeks with your nails made him clench his jaw as he squeezed one of your tits, pistoning his cock in and out of you even faster. 

"I know you don't mean any of this" you froze momentarily and his crooked smirk morphed into a grin. "But you will before the year's end" you went to speak but his metal hand found your clit just in time and your eyes rolled to the back of your head, nails digging into the stubble of his cheek. "I know you will" him promising you that you'd return his feelings one day wasn't anything new. He had always told you that. However, normally your response would be a roll of your eyes or simply a change of topic. But today, something dangerously final lingered in them and you had no clue why but you found yourself answering; 

"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! I will, sir!" One of his thick nerves twitched against a particularly sensitive spot in your walls the same time his tip found your special bundle of nerves and brutally collided into them, tearing out incoherent screams from deep within you. "Oh- I am– I am–"

"Don't cum" his hand disappeared from your clit and your eyes that you had subconsciously closed flung open as you begrudgingly tugged at his hair with a needy whine. "You don't deserve it" your body violently jiggled up and down in his arms as you vehemently shook your head. 

"NO! PLEASE!" If there was one thing he didn't appreciate, it was you raising your voice at him. But you couldn't help it, your build up was nearing its edge and the fear that it would topple over all wrong after such a long time scared you. Because once an orgasm was ruined, there was no coming back from it. James had taught you that one night after a ball when you had danced with someone a little too frankly. 

"No?" He was panting himself as he hugged your waist closer to his, the feeling of his cock's imprint pressing against both of your stomachs only making him slam you down harder and harder. "So you deserve it?" 

You quickly shook your head as your boobs flew about, pussy trying to close on itself out of sensitivity when his metal fist closed around your throat again. "N- No! No! I don't, sir!" Your voice altered in a humiliating manner when he squeezed and your dry throat pressed in on itself, making you cough. 

"That's right" his hand parted from your neck long enough to slap you. "Think you can just say your pathetic little pretty please and I'll forgive you for forgetting my existence the moment I wasn't good enough for you?" You sobbed out of frustration, willing your hips into squeezing themselves closer together so you could hold on from falling over. 

"No!" He slapped you again, the force causing your head to turn sideways this time around. "No, sir!" Desperately reaching for the artificial hand you pressed humiliating kisses all over it. "But it's been so long! Please, my King!" Your back arched from the strength it was taking you to keep yourself from cumming. "I need you so bad! I need it so bad!" In your confusion and oversensitivity you dropped your head against his, your knees trembling. "Only you can make me cum! I tried for months! So many times in so many different ways!" The tears of embarrassment were hotter than those of need that you had been weeping all this time. His movements faltered a little at your confession. "But nothing worked! Only you do! So please! Please let me cum! I don't know what I will do if you don't! Please let me cum and give me your babies!" 

"Only I work, huh?" His voice was eerily quiet, a new kind of dark exploding in the air about him. You vigorously nodded, genuine for once in your life. 

James' chuckle was the only thing your hazy mind registered before you were moved, twisted, turned and bent faster than you could keep up with. 

The next time your consciousness caught up with the present you were facing your phone, on your knees like an animal as your build up slowly subsided. Though your vacant pussy was plunged full soon after, your legs getting pulled apart before being hoisted up in the air by James' hand, your elbows the sole support of the upper half of your body now. 

"Tell him how badly you want to be stuffed full of my children and I'll let you have it" blood rushed to your face to bubble under the skin when your eyes locked with those of the stoic male at the same time but before you could hesitate, James cock began to move inside you although torturously slow. "You might want to hurry up, rosey. I don't have all night" the spank that his words accompanied sparked you into motion like someone pressed a button on you. 

"Please, Nick!" The thrusts sped up and your claws dug into the mattress. "I want James' children so bad!" There wasn't much emotion on the male you faced but the bright red of his ears and neck even in the dim lighting of the car indicated that he was both furious and humiliated. Perhaps even more so than you. "Please! Please ask him to stuff me full of his babies!" The more slaps rained down on your ass as your pussy expanded to welcome James balls deep inside you with each brutal thrust, the more your mouth ran on the most vile autopilot. "All I want in my life is to be fucked swollen and heavy with his children with my body wrapped up in his color while I nurse the other ones!" James cursed before his hand reached for your front to dip between your legs and you moaned before your arms gave out and you fell face first. 

"You heard her, now tell him that" as your cheek rubbed against the mattress everytime you were pounded into it, you heard a man speak to Nick. The Prince tried to protest but something– probably the gun pressing against his head caused him to stop before he gritted out a few seconds after; 

"... Fuck your children into her and wrap her swollen body in your colour, James" the man reminded him that it was King James, for whatever reason and Nick sighed before correcting himself. "Please, King James" you couldn't help the whimper that forced itself out of you at his menacing tone.

Your back arched when the frantic circular motions of his fingers became too much for your cunt to handle and you clenched around his girth again, shuddering as you prepared yourself to get in trouble for the orgasm you were about to have. 

But then your dependable luck did its thing. "Cum," the vibration of the spank buzzed through your whole body, "cum for me" as your tense muscles relaxed and you closed your eyes to let go, you felt James' hot seed explode within you, the force of his thrusts causing the cum to go flying all about. 

Your eyes fluttered shut and the only two things you registered for the next few minutes were shaking profusely while limb paralyzing pleasure exploded through you and the rapid rubbing of your cheek against the soft bed covers which was result of the brutal pounding you were receiving from behind.

When he was done with you, he slowly untucked himself from you and left you trembling on the mattress while he fixed himself up. "Natasha!" Your ears perked up at the name of his second in command and you trembled at his volume. The heavy doors to your chambers opened and closed after the woman in question. 

The red head clicked her tongue as she approached the bed, the heels of her boots faintly clicking against the floor as she walked. "Could've done better…" You jumped from how close she sounded when she spoke. "Because she's still awake" the hair on the top of your head was fisted into his metal arm to pull you up and you had to hurriedly scramble to cover your blushing jizz covered ass. 

"For what's going to happen next" you whimpered at his words as you were moved onto your trembling knees by the humiliating hold that the man had on your hair and your whole body shook under the stern woman's scrutinizing glare. Peeking up at the red head through your lashes, you went to cover yourself up but James' scold for you to stay put had you planting your wrists in your lap within the next second. "Hands down" you hurriedly lowered your head too to avoid further increasing his ire. 

Some shuffling sounded from above you before James approached you again. "Arms up, baby" the endearment must mean that you would be spared… right? You quickly complied with the utmost obedience and James placed a comfortable black gown on you before stepping back to reach for something else. 

You almost gasped when you recognized the brilliant glimmer from your peripheral vision.

His mother, The Queen's, crown.

"There you go" you felt him place it on your head and your heart dropped. "Everything you always wanted placed on that silly little airhead of yours, baby" an embarrassing gasp escaped you when he suddenly pulled you closer by your throat. "Are you happy now, my sweet rose?" Your eyes welled up with confusion and how he suddenly slapped you before pressing his lips against yours roughly. 

"He asked you a question, brat" you jumped at how Natasha spoke up suddenly, clearly fed up with you blinking up at him dumbly. 

"That's no way to speak your Queen, Nat" your heart warmed up at how he clicked his tongue at the woman disapprovingly. "Tsk." 

"Y- Yes. Yes" you nodded, still in a daze of post-orgasm sensitivity and general puzzlement at the absurd turn of events from an already shocking situation. "Yes, sir. Thank you so much." 

He was smiling now. "Good girl" before he pecked your lips and held his hand back for Natasha to hand him something else. "You can rule all of them" your face burnt when your mind registered the accessory that he wrapped around your throat next. A collar and a leash embedded with sparkling diamonds. "I just want to rule you" his metal hand rotated in the air as he wrapped the leash around his bionic digits. "Let's go" you nearly fell on your face as you were pulled off the bed before being marched straight to the heavy doors. 

Natasha opened them to reveal your entire family and staff standing mortified outside on weapon point of James' army. You whimpered and lowered your head in embarrassment until your chin touched the area between your collar bones, fingers tightening around your gown as you suddenly became hyper aware of the faint dig of the edges of the collar against your pampered skin. 

"The King has called the alliance off" Steve, your owner's right hand, announced in his firm and curt voice. "The only reason why he has spared you, I must add just this once, is because you are related to the Queen. Any efforts of contact from here on out will lead to unsavory consequences akin to those his own family has met" a chill raised in your spine as your blood dropped in temperature. Holy fucking shit. They really had made a beast out of this once too noble to be true man. "Lastly, not that any of you really care but if the Queen ever wishes to visit, she will be allowed to do so after she has provided His Highness with an heir, accompanied by some of the best that the army can provide." 

The walk out to the numerous sleek black SUVs felt like one of shame despite you wearing the crown you had always fantasized about.

And perhaps that's exactly what it was.

A balancing of the scale.

For betraying the one who loved you so dearly that even in his mindless state, he had known not to hurt you.

At least, not in a way that hadn't made your silly little pussy weep for more. 

.

Tag(s) <3: @identity2212 @tilltheendofthelinepal13 @cjand10 @ihavetwoholesforareason @myfavbuckyfics

[sephirthoughts]

Vincent’s lingering obsession with Lucrecia is excellent drama, but their story is not a doomed romance.

This is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Lucrecia deserves nearly as much pity and excusing of her actions as she gets. This is not character-hate post, it's an analysis of a character I think gets short shrift as a Mother-Mary in a bell jar, and deserves better.

Lucrecia is morally grey. Charcoal grey. I love complex, morally grey characters, particularly when they're women, since usually women are relegated to roles that infantilize and objectify them, particularly in video games, which have historically been a very backward, androcentric medium. I strongly dislike brainless victims, subject to the whims of the male characters, without much agency, and Lucrecia was not such a character.

Lucrecia was an adult with agency and brains. She was a grown ass adult. She was a brilliant scientist. She made decisions with her eyes open, and even sacrificed her unborn child to her work. She is a very interesting character. The fact that she didn't idolize motherhood as the end-all of female existence, and that her obsession with her work was stronger than her desire to be a 'good mother' makes her far more interesting than otherwise. The fact that she regretted it later and wanted him back doesn’t magically make her a good person, or change the choices she made. It demonstrates guilt and remorse, which are part of character development. The bottom line is that she committed atrocities in the name of science, then felt guilty about it later, once she realized how devastating the consequences were to her personally. To say she didn’t know what she was doing or Hojo manipulated or controlled her is to infantilize and disrespect her character. She’s not some sacrificial angel who was a victim of circumstances; she was a willing participant in her own downfall.

Lucrecia is a tragic character, but she's not a romantic lead. Except in Vincent's head. After all was said and done, she had one of those too-late changes of heart that make tragedy so emotionally impactful. She had a human reaction to Vincent's death and felt terribly guilty for her role in all of it, as she should. That doesn't mean she loved him, it means she wasn't a monster. She lost her son, and gradually, Hojo's callous inhumanity and her inability to escape the net she wove with her own hands closed in on her. Did she deserve to never hold her baby son and never see him even once? No. But she caused it, with her own actions. That's tragedy. She was miserable, bereft, and riddled with guilt, so she made a last-ditch effort to make something right...by doing more insane science shit that turned Vincent into a monster. Seeing that she'd only made everything worse, she tried to kill herself, but was unable to, and thus ran off to become a crystal statue in a cave (this is a trope that I dislike, but that's the story, so that's what we've got).

Vincent is a bad judge of the circumstances. Vincent persists in seeing her as a lost love, and someone from whom he was unjustly separated by circumstances. The fact that he is so blinded by his feelings for her that he places her on this pedestal and can't blame her for what she did is excellent characterization, and I love it, but it's because he’s wrong. He loved her. She didn’t love him (I think she was in love with his father, but that's just icing on the tragedy cake, at this point). His lingering attachment, not to the real Lucrecia, but to the idealized version of her he has in his mind, is a very sad reality that adds so much delicious pain to his character. In the end, he is unable to blame her, because he loved his image of her (and Hojo is a way easier target for anger, because he's literally the worst), which speaks far more to his personal bias in the situation than to her actual role in it. She’s not moustache-twirlingly evil like Hojo but she’s not Vincent's star cross'd soul mate tragically torn away by cruel fate. Lucrecia was her own person.

In summation. Their story is not a doomed romance, it's a complicated, messy, ugly tangle of thorns, and one of the best written tragedies in a game that literally bleeds tragedy from every orifice. It's got one-sided love, obsession, mad science, betrayal, jealousy, fetal experimentation, murder, corpse reanimation, and a guy who can't die, and is left to deal with the consequences of everyone else's actions by himself forever. No one is innocent and no one comes out unscathed…strike that. Vincent is innocent and Hojo comes out unscathed. But still. Lucrecia is not a holy mother, she's not a brainless victim, and she's not Vincent's lost love. She's a person he loved, and who didn't reciprocate. Most importantly, she's a person. A whole-ass, complex, morally grey, fully developed person, who made terrible choices, then made even worse choices, and in the end, couldn't escape the fate she wove for herself.

And then wound up encased in crystal so she could be a pretty statue forever cause the game devs just couldn't help themselves I guess.

[awitchsheartif]

An upcoming 18+ fantasy interactive fiction with a focus on Romance.

As the Assistant to Professor of Magic and Alchemy Simeon Harrow you have a particular interest in the mystical. When you’re not meddling with magical ingredients or delving into taboo history, you’re helping Professor Harrow with his quest to harness real magic.

When witches are spotted in your city a literal witch hunt begins. It’s said a witch’s heart can give pure magic to whoever consumes it, but just how true could that possibly be?

Customise your character! Gender, height, sexuality and more.

Learn magic, uncover secrets, and protect a young witch child from those that wish him harm.

Befriend and ally with a cast of characters. Romance one (or two) of four: your academic rival, an energetic witch, a morally questionable salesman, or ▮▮▮.

Consume a witch’s heart?

Characters

Yousra/Youcef ‘Court’ Courtney

(Gender Selectable RO)

Harrow’s other assistant. Noble blood, less noble intentions, but at least they’re good at what they do.

With a razor-sharp focus and an overbearing personality they excel at almost everything they do. Always impeccably dressed with sharp features and eyes that watch you like a hawk when they think you’re not looking. They consider you their closest friend, but that’s never made them any less willing to throw you under the bus when they think it will let them win.

Professor Simeon Harrow

He made you what you are, he gave you what no one else could, and he could take away everything you have.

Harrow’s ambition has faded in recent years, with very few people willing to fund his research. This recent stroke of luck could be just what his career needs.

Killian MacKay

His father was a witch, and that’s all he knows. A powerful bargaining chip and a useful tool.

The boy’s power has only recently awoken and he isn’t sure who he can trust yet, can he trust you?

Lillias ‘Lily’ Keene

(F RO)

A young witch, lost in an unfamiliar city. Perhaps less naïve than she lets on.

She’s here for a reason, one she isn’t keen on sharing. There’s a mischievous spark in her sandy grey eyes and she’s reluctant to let the mortal danger that she’s in ruin her fun.

‘Robin’

(M RO)

A dealer of magical paraphernalia. When he isn’t conducting barely-legal business he’s off enjoying the finer things in life.

It’s hard to tell if you’ll get him in a good mood or a bad one, but whichever way you find him it’s clear he’s not your biggest fan. Unfortunately for him you’ve got the money to pay for his services.

[bonefall]

how much of Stormpaw’s demon are Maple’s curse vs just things that happen (cause in canon it’s really vague about whether Maple causes all those tragedies or has the ability to see his future for some reason)

EVERYTHING that happens in Stormpaw's Demon involves her. It's not being so dramatically renamed for nothing, she's a major driver and cause of the plot! Crookedstar's young name is in the title; but really, his demon is driving the misfortune.

That said... It's been a while and I'm heavily considering retooling the narrative.

Since I last REALLY worked on it, BB has changed in the sense that I'm a lot more willing to alter canon than I used to be. While my driving mindset used to be "telling a better version of the original story," and that IS a value I still hold... I've lost patience with the misogyny within the original work.

I've spoken at length about the way Crookedstar's Promise grinds my gears (PLEASE follow this link for a full breakdown of why), but in summary; it desperately tries to keep every male character likeable when they shouldn't be, saying nothing about the fact they are complicit in or even enabling abuse, while giving Crookedstar TWO flatly evil maternal figures. Even Brambleberry, who's heavily praised for being "like a mom instead," has a weird moment where she starts giving Crookedjaw the cold shoulder because she finds out he's chatting with a demon.

So like... I'm not sure if I want to make the "better version" of that story. That was the one that I already had, which had Mapleshade be acting entirely out of just the malice of wanting to hurt a child, while Hailstar and Shellheart are the excellent people canon wanted to see them as.

(not that it's even a BAD super edition, it's actually a really good one, but if it's my kitchen that's not what we cook here. Man I really do always massively overhaul my favorite SEs LMAO)

I think, specifically, I want to make Mapleshade slightly more morally gray and Hailstar more of an enabler. Shellheart is getting significantly retooled to make him more of the heartwarming parental figure I think he should be; someone loving to help balance out a very heavy rework.

And of course Brambleberry, I'm going to tweak her some. Try to make her flaws more consistent, get rid of that odd cold shoulder moment.

Old regulars will remember an old AU which is also still a massive favorite of mine; it was called Better Call Mapleshade, and it was kind of a commentary on how an environment can shape a person. Mapleshade, as a demon in heaven, was essentially their best prosecutor and defense attorney.

You can actually see how a lot of ideas from that AU ended up in Better Bones with the expanded trial system! I'm thinking of taking another page out of it, by making Mapleshade more aware of "the game" of Clan culture's structural unfairness, while also using it like a weapon against people she wants to hurt. A powerful demon of revenge.

Under the cut, what won't be changing, the way it was, and Draft 2 of Stormpaw's Demon.

(MASSIVE CONTENT WARNING FOR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL CHILD ABUSE including ableism. BB!Rainflower is WORSE than canon.)

WHAT WON'T BE CHANGING;

These are major details of Stormpaw's Demon that are different from canon. I'm working with these as givens and won't be changing between drafts.

Mapleshade does have a bone to pick with Appledusk's lineage specifically. One option might make her more discerning when it comes to her targets, but no matter what, she is going to have her eyes on this bloodline. She Haunts Applekin.

Rainflower is Hailstar's deputy. And I will make her downfall spectacular. If you were worried I was going to make her more sympathetic then you have no idea who I am LMAO

Shellheart is not Crookedstar's biofather While I want Hailstar to maybe be worse; I do want to fix Shellheart by making him a good parent. I've decided a good way to do this is to make it that Shellheart adopts Storm AFTER he's been abused by Rainflower. He didn't have authority over him before then. In general, I do want him to have a bigger positive role in this narrative. DEPENDING ON WHICH VERSION: Oakheart might also not be his bio-brother.

Crookedjaw is not a cruel name; it's an Honor Title. I've ALWAYS been frustrated by how canon treats scars and injuries as bad things. It's a BATTLE culture. Surviving brushes with death is their WHOLE THING. There is no "crookedkit" or "crookedpaw," he was Stormpaw until he earned his warrior name, with "Crookedjaw" commending the massive lengths he's gone to in order to survive, adapt, and honor StarClan.

Mentor change: Goodbye Cedarpelt, hello Magpiesky! I decided to repurpose one of the Barn Cats! Magpie from the books is a daughter of Perchshine-- the cat who killed Mapleshade. She joined RiverClan long ago. She's actually the one who points him in the way of the barn, and has to train him "as a punishment for teaching him disobedience" when he comes back. I actually have a couple of minor reasons for making this change but I'll spare them for now. He might start with Cedarpelt, but then run to the barn when Cedarpelt is basically refusing to train him properly.

Some family tree shuffles I need to update this tree to show Crookedstar's new situation with Shellheart (and also reflect some other changes I made like confirming Hallowflight fully being Lizardtail's honor title and Robinpaw being the apprentice who gets eaten by Ripwater), BUT, overall this tree is solid.

The ableism Storm faces is going to have a different flavor I have built BB in a way where him surviving his injury would be very respected, but he'd get badly coddled and pushed into early retirement. Him running to the barn is because he suspects he wouldn't have gotten training otherwise.

He kills a fox there because it's Cool. I might give him the tail to wear as a trophy of the kill because that's also Cool. The fox was very old and feeble at that point, which was why it was attacking chickens, but shhh

The Way It Was (Very Evil Mapleshade)

Darkstar's Commandment creating the Queen's Rights, that no queen would ever have to reveal the other parent of their kittens, wasn't enough to appease Mapleshade.

Nor was the damning of everyone that Mapleshade killed. In a fit of irrational fury at all the death, StarClan sent all her victims into the Dark Forest.

But she can't chase them. In the Dark Forest, you don't see someone unless you WANT to see them, not unless you're hanging out in a "land mar" (a sort of personal hell that all demons get).

on the off-chance she does see them, Frecklewish usually rips her to shreds...

Which is the next problem.

You can't DIE in the Dark Forest if you're a demon. You poof back into existence the next day, no injuries, no scars, nothing.

she's bored.

And vengeful. In spite of the wrong being righted, she still thinks she deserves MORE revenge, because what she wanted was really Appledusk.

She finds it unfair that HER legacy is snuffed out, that it's Darkstar's Commandment and not hers, that her babies were destined for greatness and by extension SHE should have been great.

So she takes up a hobby in tormenting Appledusk's descendants. She wants to eradicate them completely, but is spiteful enough that she'll just settle with hurting them.

The first one she managed to kill was Applefrost, Reedshine's son. Just by accident. She didn't know she had such power over the mortal plane.

After that, she managed to drown Duskwater. The daughter.

But she couldn't wipe out HER daughter in that storm... and she brought two more Applekin children into the world.

Stormkit and Oakkit.

So, naturally, Mapleshade turned her sight on the little fuzzball.

He would be an easy kill, in theory. She smashed Stormkit's jaw on the rock, but Oakkit pulled him out.

From there, it's similar to canon for a bit. His recovery is long and painful.

Rainflower is disgusted, and wants absolutely no part of helping him through this process.

That wasn't an injury gained in battle-- it's because he's careless and didn't listen to her. He's going through all this suffering, and for what?

To never become a warrior?

She's cruel to him, begins to neglect and distance herself from him. Discourages him from suckling.

Mapleshade LOVES this. It's worse than she could have imagined. Rainflower is horrible.

Gleefully, she realizes that Stormkit dying now is what Rainflower wants.

So, she kills two other kits in the nursery.

Fallowtail's only survivor is Willowkit, so she has plenty of milk. She starts suckling Stormkit.

(Graypool is now an older sibling! She's actually an apprentice at this time! Later, she encourages Willowkit to visit their father, who decides to just kidnap them completely)

Eventually, being the deputy, Rainflower had some kind of conversation with Hailstar.

During that conversation, she asked him to do something very cruel to Crookedkit.

And Hailstar LOST IT

He's the successor of Volestar, who was appointed by Darkstar herself to uphold the Queen's Rights and protect children.

How DARE you try to turn RiverClan into a place of disrespect?? To use my power this way?!

So, her power was stripped, and Oakkit and Stormkit were taken from her.

From there, Storm eventually goes to the barn as discussed, and Mapleshade continues to do things to hurt him.

This was my first draft, and now having thought about it a lot, I feel like it's not super cohesive. A demonic Mapleshade who's entirely malicious is neat, but I feel like this makes her flat. Shellheart's not tied in super well either, and Hailstar's stand feels kind of hollow because Rainflower hasn't actually used or leveraged the new authority I've given her.

But most egregiously? Rainflower's abuse being so close to canon tastes kind of bland. I feel like I can make it sooo much more intense, complicated, and painful.

Draft 2 of Stormpaw's Demon (Demon of Revenge Update) Essentially an outline for the first few chapters establishing Mapleshade by dealing with Rainflower and then fragments for the rest.

Mapleshade's still malicious, but this time, there's more to it.

Darkstar's Commandment, and the damning of her victims, DID appease this Mapleshade.

But is she satisfied? No.

She doesn't feel like she was wrong at all, actually. Without her killing those three in revenge for her kittens, StarClan's anger probably would have subsided.

She can't hunt her victims down again though, because, they don't want to see her. She fights Frecklewish every now and then but what's the point?

She WON already. She already GOT the euphoria of dragging them all down with her.

Punishing everyone who had ever wronged her was the highlight of her existence... but now it's done.

She's in Hell and she's bored. Her punishment is never seeing her kits again, but more importantly, her punishment is eternal shuffling through the leaf litter when she's SO GOOD at getting revenge.

Problem with revenge is, when you get it, it's gone.

She probably messed with Duskwater and Applefrost a bit, but if she killed one of them, it was accidental. It made her realize that revenge without a motive is just boring.

The prologue would probably open up with establishing her as a character. Who she is, what she wants.

Because the first chapter would dive RIGHT IN to Stormkit. The only child of Rainflower, the deputy.

Right along with Stormkit, you only learn in hindsight that he was born in a storm that killed his grandmother. It's clear that Rainflower reminds him of this often.

And that she's nasty to him. Giving him unclear instruction and finding things to critique, telling him to jump and then barking at him that he didn't ask how high.

She has great expectations for him, and reminds him of their family lineage often. Of who killed his great-grandfather, of what a fantastic pair of warriors Applefrost and Duskwater were

"I lost everything the night you were born. You'd better be able to make up for it."

Unfortunately, Stormkit is not the sort of child who's good at listening to those sorts of orders. He's stubborn and defiant; angry and oppositional.

When he doesn't understand why you do something, he doesn't want to do it

He "embarrasses" her a lot, and gets hurt for it.

In public, these are swats and whacks. The things you're "allowed" to do to discipline your child. In private these are a lot more severe.

So when Stormkit is given an order or a command, he obeys completely out of fear rather than respect. And sometimes he forgets his fear.

The other cats in RiverClan? Well... Stormkit is a problem child, and Rainflower is a fantastic, organized, respected deputy.

Hailstar especially, unfortunately. He feels bad... for Rainflower.

"It must be so hard for her to have such a little brat as a son. He never seems to learn his lesson. When will he stop wandering off? What's wrong with him? He certainly didn't get that from her."

His best friend, Oakkit, gets in the SAME trouble he does.

He's mischievous, fearless, and outgoing, and... never gets punished for it.

There's times where Oakkit does something and Stormkit physically recoils, just imagining what Rainflower would do if HE did something like that. Especially in how Oakkit talks to his dad, Shellheart.

For example, Shellheart will come to get his son for suckling time and Oakkit will tell him to his face things like, "I don't want to! I'm HAVING FUN!"

and shellheart doesn't flip out. He just. explains why it's important to eat on time.

"I know. But Fallowtail wants to go have fun too! She's waiting for you to come and suckle so she can go play."

"Well why can't she just play now and I suckle later?"

"When a suckler is full of milk, it makes their belly very itchy. She's uncomfortable when you don't come and eat on time."

"nnnh"

"Tough sell? How about I sweeten the pile with a badger ride back?"

"Hm. You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Dad."

Stormkit doesn't know why he hates it. He's all angry inside when he sees them acting friendly. He's polite because Oakkit's his best friend and Mr. Shellheart is really nice, but he just...

He's too young at the time to know he's envious. He wants what Oakkit has so badly it hurts.

Sometime after an exchange like that, Stormkit is visited by Mapleshade for the first time.

And they talk about Stormkit's anger and resentment. Stormkit lets it slip that he HATES his Mi.

Waits for Mapleshade to stop him and tell him, like everyone else does, that "she's still your mother."

...but she doesn't.

Besides Oakkit and Shellheart, she's the first person who doesn't tell him that.

She just lets him talk. Lets him go on. Starts making nasty jabs, which make him laugh.

"She says she lost everything the day I was born!!"

"What?! That's crazy! She got you that day!"

"Right?! It's like she's saying I'm nothing! Maybe she SHOULD lose everything, then she'd know what she's got!"

And then she asks, "Do you want her to die?"

Suddenly, there's a chill in the air. He's really shocked by the suggestion of that. He didn't... he didn't mean it to go THAT far. That's not what he meant... is it?

But she's fading back into the shadows, just her eyes visible in the dark. Tells him that she can see he's unsure. That's ok.

Holds up a budding sprig of sycamore, the maple she's named for. Its buds grow in a "deer hoof," with one large bud in the middle and two "toes" sprouting on its sides.

Teaches him that if he needs someone in his corner, all he has to do is call.

(to summon her, a bud is plucked off the sprig and thrown in the river.)

He wakes up with the sprig in his paw, panics, and shoves it under the nest he shares with his mother.

The experience shakes him. He probably ran to Brambleberry for the first time, who explains very seriously that he was contacted by a demon.

From the description... Mapleshade. The cat who killed his great-grandfather.

He BEGS her not to tell Rainflower. PLEADS with her. He can barely hear her already saying yes under the throbbing sound of his heart in his ears.

When he calms down, he hears her saying yes. On the condition she will need to smoke the nursery with sage and cedar, and that he will be needing a bath as well.

When he's still concerned that Rainflower will question him, she makes a plan to distract her for a day, long enough for him to do his cleanse and the smell to fade.

And, of course, that he will not follow any instructions that Mapleshade left him. He agrees. But does not tell Brambleberry about the sprig.

For a while he's very "well behaved." But it's not about him, never has been.

It really doesn't take long at all for Rainflower to get worse. Kids who are defiant like that are usually exercising a defense mechanism-- if they're not aggressive about their boundaries, their limits are pushed to a breaking point.

And after a big blowout like this, which was probably a public spectacle, Stormkit runs back to his nest and digs out the sprig, runs to the river, and throws a bud in the river.

Having calmed down from his shuddering fury, the dread begins to set in as a dead-smelling wind ruffles his fur. He can't help but feel like he just did something very stupid out of anger.

Looking at his reflection, he sees no cuts or swelling. The blows weren't "bad enough." He doesn't have the kind of injuries that anyone would do anything about. Equal parts guilt and frustration swell in him like a tide at full moon. How could he be sitting here wishing she hurt him worse?

So he tries to soften it, "I don't want her to die, I just, I... I just want her to lose everything like she says. Please..."

The wind whispers in his ear, "it will get worse before it gets better."

"I can handle that," he sobs, "I can do anything. Please. Make it stop."

After that, Oakkit probably runs to come find him. Stormkit doesn't want to be found. He makes up a childish plan, on the spot, to run away and join ThunderClan.

Oak says that's mousebrained, but Storm has DEVOTED himself to this plan he made just now.

And is crossing the stones.

Oak sighs, but if Storm's going to ThunderClan, he should really go with him because then they could totally fight off a small fox (Childish hubris)

Unfortunately, Rainflower found them. asks Exactly What He's Doing.

The kids freeze. Stormkit in particular has that horrible, twisting anxiety that you get when you hear The Tone that means you're in for an absolute wallop when you get home.

He's about to start running, but then the voice tickles his ear-fur again. Mapleshade tells him to go back. It'll be ok. She's on his side. She'll make her pay.

Oakkit is still frozen in place when, as if possessed, Storm's body stiffly returns to his mother.

There's a silence. The river trickling through the stepping stones. Storm looking with fear and anger up at her.

She's waiting for an apology, groveling. He doesn't give her one.

So she raises her paw and gives him an awful, hard blow.

His little body twists, flung off balance, trying to correct himself, and he can swear he felt paws pushing him a second time, whipping him downwards.

The feeling of falling fills his stomach, the water sloshes into his ears before there's a ring of a sound like CLUNK-CRUNCH, and then the river floods his nose and mouth.

It all goes dark.

When he wakes up, it's with a throbbing pain in the side of his jaw so intense that he can feel it all the way down in the tip of his tail. He learns from Brambleberry that Oakkit rescued him-- jumped right into the water to pull him out. And then Rainflower pulled him out. That was when Shellheart came and found them.

There's a LOT of arguing outside, but Storm can't ask what it is because it hurts to move his mouth at all. Brambleberry hushes and soothes him, telling him it's nothing he needs to know about.

(MEDICAL INFODUMPING: i do actually have a medical reason I want his injury to come from someone hitting him which causes him to fall. The injury he'd get in canon would actually be a really simple and common split in the front of the mandible, which wouldn't cause his mouth to have a dramatic twist and would heal very easily. He needs to come down on the rock at an angle to shatter the joint like that.)

From here, the tune about Stormkit starts to change.

Oakkit was distraught when they got back, telling everyone that Rainflower smashed him against a rock.

Rainflower's story is that he was running, and she chased after him. EVERYONE knows that he has a habit of doing this.

Then HE slipped and fell and hit his face on the rocks. His fault.

Oakkit was running away with him, he's lying.

Shellheart is FEROCIOUSLY taking the side of his son, furious that she would imply he raised a liar.

Hailstar is taking the side of Rainflower. It's two troublemaking kits against his deputy.

Yes, Rainflower's disciplined him before, but that's no indication she'd do something like this on purpose.

Brambleberry weighs in that the injury that Stormkit has isn't the sort of injury a kitten gets from hitting his jaw. The bone is shattered.

probably does some kind of visual to go along with it, using a stick and a stone

"The bones of a kitten are like the young shoots of a tree. When they fracture," she takes a young twig and snaps it in her paws. The fibers in the center are bent but unbroken, with the bark splintered around them, "they flay but don't snap."

She places the stick on the ground, "So for the injury that Stormkit has," and violently smashes the rock down onto it. It's shattered and pulped, the fibers flattened, "there would need to be a great force."

Shellheart hisses, saying that THIS is the evidence. Oakkit's story is consistent but Rainflower HAS to have lied.

Several cats are now on his side.

...But more are on Rainflower's.

"She's his mother. She loves him. Oakkit has to be mistaken."

"Why would she chase down her own son just to smash his face on a stone?"

"She wouldn't pull them out of the river if she really wanted to hurt him!"

Hailstar prompts if there's ANYTHING else that could explain this?

It comes up that Brambleberry cleansed the dens the other day.

She says that it's possible there is a demon's influence at work. She can't know for sure which one it is-- but it may have a grudge against Rainflower.

She allows them to reach the conclusion that it's probably Mapleshade on their own. She will be talking to Crookedkit when he's able, but she's not about to tell anyone about his dream yet.

She doesn't want him to have the extra scrutiny when he needs to rest and heal, but if she'd shared that an unnamed cat had a demonic dream, it would set off panic as cats accused each other of dark magic.

Rainflower manages to escape consequences by pointing out that it was likely Mapleshade that injured her son.

Oakkit is still trying to tell everyone SHE did it, he SAW it, Stormkit walked back and she hit him and smashed his jaw on the rock

But he's hushed. It's decided there's not enough evidence. And not enough reason to doubt the noble deputy.

She's never done something like this before, after all. It's more likely it was an accident.

There is a group of cats that are dissatisfied about this, though, and it only grows when Brambleberry explains that Stormkit's prognosis is not good.

There is a very high chance he will die. Even adult warriors can wither slowly from this sort of injury.

Recovery will be slow and it will be painful.

...but after that incident? Rainflower gets bolder. She got away with it in public. She got a taste of the leverage she has, how much they trust her.

Stormkit spends a lot of time floating in between his dreams and his living-world pain. There's at least one interaction where he speaks to Mapleshade, screaming at her that he TRUSTED her, he KNOWS she's the one who hurt him! How could she?!

She can't say much, kept at bay by a hazy smokescreen of sage. "You must live! You must survive!"

Her old words echo in his head; It Will Get Worse Before It Gets Better.

Throughout the recovery, Rainflower grows more cruel and more distant.

In public she likes to talk about how difficult this is for her, but he's strong, he will survive.

In private, she'll do things that hurt him, like repositioning his head in a way that "his jaw will heal better in." When he cries, she's unsympathetic.

"You brought this on yourself. This is for your own good."

Her definition of "private" is also changing. She's getting more comfortable with snapping at him in front of limited groups of people.

Since she's deputy, the other two parents in the nursery, Shellheart and Fallowtail, do their best to care for Stormkit while she's away. He's pulled away from them when she gets back, any ideas or suggestions they have vetoed.

When they try to go to Brambleberry about this, she shakes her head with frustration and tries to make them understand she knows... and she's just as unhappy with it as they are.

She tells them she keeps going to Hailstar, but he's still hesitant. Even though she's trying to tell him that Stormkit's recovery is being undermined.

"Rainflower's son has always needed tough love. She's his Mi and knows him best... she's still taking care of him. Give her a warning before suggesting anything drastic."

In the other draft, I had Mapleshade kill two of Fallowtail's kits to free up milk for Stormkit. I'm not sure I need that anymore honestly, plus, this rework's heavy enough! She can just have Willowkit without any deaths, while Graypaw remains an older sibling.

When Brambleberry informs Rainflower and Stormkit that the jaw isn't healing straight and it will probably be at an angle forever, Rainflower reacts with disdain.

"His first scar and it's nothing he earned?!"

She's reminded he might not even survive. He's lost weight. He's eating less. Stormkit curls up quietly. He hates how they talk about him like he can't hear them.

"Surviving is the bare minimum," she scoffs reflexively. There's a silence so thick you can cut it with a claw. After an uncomfortable heartbeat, she continues, "What kind of a life will he live if he-"

"a life," Brambleberry cuts in, "he'd live a life. And it can be a good one"

Rainflower growls, spitting that the twisted jaw is a disfigurement. He'll never be able to open his mouth all the way. He can't chew and he can't suckle forever. Stormkit will never become a warrior if he can't even dispatch a fish with a killing bite.

"Scars are the sign that StarClan has mended our bodies after fighting a good fight, making any Clanborn cat worthy of being an elder" Brambleberry preaches, "Names are what mark us, calling upon our ancestors to look down at us and witness our actions, Rainflower. Don't say anything you wouldn't want them to see."

Rainflower flicks her ear, seething, a rumble in her throat, "was that some kind of threat? As if I've said something wrong?"

"If you feel threatened, look within."

Stormkit resents all of this talk. He can feel his mother tensing up next to him, hears the low rumble progressing into a growl. When adults play stupid games with his mom, he's always the one who ends up dealing it. Why don't they get that?

It's only Shellheart who seems to have it click, "Hey, this is the nursery. Can you take it outside, please?"

As Brambleberry and Rainflower leave, Stormkit lays curled up in his nest, cold and alone. Oakkit leaves Shellheart's paws to curl up around his best friend.

Shellheart stares at them, shifting, but ultimately stays where he is.

There's a lot of words I could write there, between Storm and Oak. Ones where Storm speaks about how he just wants the pain to be done with. Others where Oak comforts him, tells him how much he means to him. More where they end up running into the wall that they're just two little kids and they've both learned the truth that they have no control over what happens when Rainflower comes back into that den.

But I think it would be good to end there, at the lowest point. Because it gets better.

Pissed off by being gently confronted, after her warning from Brambleberry, this is the moment where Rainflower goes too far.

Hailstar is gradually losing his patience. Every time this issue comes up, he's making some kind of new excuse for her.

She's still a competent deputy who holds the Clan together, but this has taken a toll on her reputation.

Her biggest mistake was becoming more open with her abuse after being emboldened. And I think Hailstar is beginning to feel like he's got "egg on his face."

After standing up for Rainflower several times, getting heat from Brambleberry, and now the Clan also starting to murmur...

It's getting very difficult to justify why he's sticking his neck out.

and maybe, part of him is starting to feel a little self-conscious about the way that his deputy is acting about her injured child.

When she comes storming up on this fateful day, interrupting whatever he was doing to make a proposition, it's the breaking point.

Her suggestion: "I've realized that there's only one way to ensure my son survives his injury. He's being haunted by our demon, which only started threatening him when he disobeyed me for the last time. WE need to teach him a lesson, and make sure StarClan gazes down upon him to acknowledge his mistakes."

"...how do you intend to do that?"

"Stormkit must be given a Dishonor Title."

A Dishonor Title, one of the greatest shames that a leader can put onto one of their warriors. A punishment that ranks just below exile in terms of severity.

"you want to put a dishonor title... on your child? one with a life-threatening injury?"

"One that acknowledges his carelessness. To protect him from the demon."

Protect him from the demon. "I see now what must be done."

Previously, I'd thought of Hailstar as someone who would be loud and merciless when he does this. Now I'm thinking it was something he put a lot of thought into. He stands up, brushes past her, and goes to talk to some of his most trusted cats. Brambleberry, his mate Echomist, an experienced warrior such as Piketooth or Ottersplash, and lastly, Shellheart.

So it's not a surprise to anyone but Rainflower herself. He doesn't want this to be dramatic. He doesn't want it to be another big scene. Stormkit has gone through enough.

When he eventually has this Clan meeting, he calls it quietly. In his address to the gathered cats, a crowd that Shellheart and his family are missing from at his request, he says that his greatest regret is that he didn't do this sooner. He even doubts that Mapleshade is haunting her at all-- now having seen her behavior, he says it's more likely that Rainflower bashed her own child against a rock and simply lied.

First, he announces that Stormkit will be removed from her care. He will no longer be of the Applekin bloodline.

She is banned from the nursery at the request of Fallowtail, and will only see Stormkit when supervised by his new Mi, Shellheart.

Brambleberry has already agreed to this necessity, and is performing a ritual so that StarClan may approve of this choice.

He also strips her of her deputyship, and appoints Ottersplash instead. (I might change this to a different deputy eventually)

Not everyone agrees with Hailstar. There's an uproar from Rainflower's supporters.

She was a VERY popular deputy.

More that are just uneasy, feeling that this was a BRUTAL punishment that she didn't deserve.

Lots are happy and optimistic, though. But the mixed reception is exactly why Hailstar asked Shellheart not to be here.

This isn't something Stormkit has to deal with right now.

When Darkstar herself, who created the Queen's Rights, was on her last life, she appointed Volestar to uphold the law as her legacy knowing that Oakstar might try to break it again.

Volestar appointed Hailstar, in the hopes that he would uphold her legacy in turn, to protect kittens and those who can't protect themselves.

He was late, and can only hope he was not too late. He hopes that Volestar can forgive him for that.

Meanwhile in the nursery, Shellheart, Oakkit, and Stormkit are alone, far in the back, where the padded moss keeps out arguing voices.

Oakkit, bless his little heart, is babbling with excitement because his best friend is his BROTHER now. And it's gonna be THE BEST.

He's talking about how it's fine he can't chew because now they can have soup, and they're going to make the nest bigger, and they can stay up later because they can whisper quieter if they're this close together

But Storm doesn't really hear him. His head's swimming, thinking about the dull ache in his jaw, how MAD his mom's going to be because he can't imagine her not finding a way to hurt him, how this is all his fault because he called Mapleshade.

He can't stop it anymore and starts sniffling, which turns into weeping. Still, he's TRYING not to bawl, knowing, knowing he looks stupid when he does that

Shellheart just pulls him in close, so he can bury his face in his fluffy chest. Tells him it's going to be ok. He's safe now. No one can hurt him there.

Not on his watch.

Unfortunately, it's not the last he sees of Mapleshade. After this...

Mapleshade shows him everything she did for him. Yes, she did smash his jaw-- but it was to get him away from his mother.

And she planted an idea here and there, just little whispers into Rainflower's ear. Nothing she wouldn't do all on her own.

And now... Mapleshade believes she's earned some respect.

Stormkit can't disagree... she did exactly what she told him she'd do.

And now that he's not Applekin anymore, they can be Real Friends. They could even strike up a partnership, of sorts. After all, what did StarClan do to help him?

It wasn't StarClan that answered his prayers.

I'm still figuring out what, exactly, she's going to want from him. I have a scintilla that she wants to give him a life, maybe as some kind of bridge to StarClan to see her kits?

Some strange "attempt" at redemption, perhaps? Which she ultimately doesn't get.

Not that she didn't enjoy doing all that for love of the game, mind you. She's very good at getting revenge and it's fun and exciting to pull it off.

But hey, if you're good at something, never do it for free.

What causes Mapleshade to ultimately turn, and begin haunting the bloodline again + Oakheart, is Crookedstar rejecting her in some way.

She comes to collect on her end of the bargain and he refuses, breaking their partnership. He chooses StarClan.

And then from there, it's ON again. Now she has another EXCUSE to do what she wanted to do, and take out her boredom and malice on his family.

This time, it includes Oakheart as well-- because he was Crookedstar's brother.

It was also her curse that harmed Willowbreeze and eventually Silverstream. She's on the warpath.

Maybe she actually helped make him leader on purpose. Like he explicitly asked so she helped him by making the squirrel omen, instead of just doing it for him unprompted. Still figuring it out.

Shortly after the scene where Stormkit cries, he needs to have a confrontation with Brambleberry about Mapleshade I think. She needs to explain why Dark Forest demons are seen as bad.

She's biased, of course, but it's not like she's TOTALLY wrong either. Cats like Mapleshade ARE vengeful, in ways many other spirits are not.

If you're curious, Crookedstar's dishonor title from Rainflower would have been something comparing him to a parasite and referencing his ""accident"" like Fleaskip or Midgefall.

The point she's trying to make with the Dishonor Title is that her son is an annoying bug who didn't listen, as well as subtly erase she fact she knocked him off that rock.

She wanted his name to say "everything that happened was my fault and my mom did nothing wrong"

Not that Hailstar got as far as even asking lmao

[emp-t-man]

eiffel and minkowski are often perceived (either by the other characters of the podcast or its audience, but mostly by each other) as the lazy slacker who sucks at his job and the competent go-getter who’s the best at what she does, and yet neither of these things are true. i think one of my favorites of their parallels is they are both exceptionally good at what they do, and yet they both constantly suffer from doubts about their own abilities. they just have completely different ways of going about this insecurity, and that’s what creates this stigma about them.

eiffel has proven time and time again that he absolutely knows what he’s doing in his field. He’s extremely protective over his equipment, he knows exactly what to do when it doesn’t work ninety nine percent of the time, the man made two way radios from old audio recorders, for christ’s sake, not to mention the way he was able to figure out how to survive for months in the middle of deep space completely by himself. but one of his most fatal flaws is that he doesn’t believe he knows what he’s doing. his self hatred and insecurity run so deep that the moment he believes he’s not cut out for something, he stops trying entirely. he sees people like minkowski doing such a good job in their position, that when people like that tell him he’s incapable of doing the same, he believes it, because he never believed in himself, anyway. i think the most obvious example of this is after the season one finale, when he learns about the decima project. the minute he learns that being an officer of communications wasn’t his only purpose on that mission, he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t serve that purpose at all. he resolves that he was simply an “experimental meatbag”, chosen for the mission because he had absolutely nothing else going for him. he’s so quick to dismiss his worth and his capabilities, and so he leans into this persona of a good for nothing procrastinator to avoid letting his peers down by never letting them form expectations of him in the first place. of course, he isn’t perfect, he is a bit of a procrastinator and a scatterbrain, but that’s far from all he is.

minkowski on the other hand, she’s constantly praised for all of her achievements and hard work, be it by goddard, by her students, her superiors, lovelace, and especially eiffel in the later seasons. she’s seen as strong, and resilient, and an excellent leader. but the thing is, she also constantly doubts her own ability. this can also be seen during the season one finale, where she apologizes to eiffel because she describes hera’s deactivation and hilbert’s mutiny as her own fault, because she wasn’t a good enough commander to prevent it. but the thing about her is when she starts to doubt her capability, she works overtime to try and prove herself and anyone else who may doubt her wrong, which is also unhealthy! it happens with the plant monster, when she continuously risks her own life just to prove to herself that she can have the slightest bit of control over a situation. it happens during pan-pan, where she attempts to keep the stress fractures in the station a secret and handle them on her own because she wants to be able to protect the lives and morale of her crew the way a “good commander” should! instead of giving up and saving herself the disappointment if ever she should fail, she does the complete opposite, working herself to the bone and obsessing over every detail to make sure she doesn’t fail, no matter what it takes.

now here’s the kicker— after the events of desperate times / desperate measures, eiffel and minkowski completely swap coping mechanisms. when lovelace comes to, minkowski almost immediately asks her to assume the position of commander in her place, because she thinks that the loss of lives means that she completely failed her objective and isn’t fit for the role. her stepping down is essentially giving up in her eyes, because why hold such an important position if you’re no good at it? meanwhile, in episode fifty two, after eiffel gets called out on his, while without malicious intent, inconsiderate and distasteful behavior, he completely withdraws from the rest of the crew in order to work extremely hard on his own tasks, ultimately risking his and the rest of the crew’s life in order to prove he can be useful. sounds familiar, right?

but the thing is, they’ve each already spent so much time reverting to their original way of coping, that attempting the other’s method is immediately clocked as simply being concerning and out of character, rather than establishing them as the opposite archetype of being capable or not. lovelace expects minkowski to always resort to overachieving, but not because its a way to disprove her insecurity, but because it’s just “who she is”. so when she does the opposite, that’s when she realizes something is wrong, and resorts to comforting minkowski instead of simply letting her do what she’s elected to do. hera expects eiffel to laugh off any mistake he makes and go back to goofing off— not because it’s his way of avoiding disappointment from those he cares about, but because it’s just “who he is”. so when he does the opposite, focusing solely and intently on his duties where he was so comfortable neglecting them before, she realizes something is wrong. and when he explains to the rest of the crew that his actions are only to “help the only way he still can”, they realize something is wrong, and choose to comfort him rather than simply rolling their eyes and letting eiffel be eiffel.

it is. so incredibly late at night so i don’t know if this makes the sense i want it to make but i just. cannot get enough of how much they compliment and reflect each other. they seem to have nothing in common on the surface, but they fit together so well in terms of how they operate as people and i’m obsessed with it

[eksvaized]

[ Previous ┃ Next ] part 1

Simon Riley knew he wasn’t a good guy.

From a young age, he was aware that deep within him, in a place he couldn’t yet reach, was an abundance of sinister desires, impure urges, and even more morally questionable thoughts; all of his inner demons were slowly emerging, creeping to the surface, just waiting to be unleashed.

There were multiple times when he deliberately silenced the voice of reason in his mind, surrendering to the pervasive darkness that took hold of him. He was too weak to resist the temptation or the allure of the sinister impulses that were seeping out of him, cooing him to succumb — he revelled in the sheer exhilaration that indulging in his most sinister desires brought him.

And a couple of other times, he knew he shouldn’t have ignored the muted voice in the back of his head, pleading for him to stop, but he just wanted to feel adrenaline rush through his veins, as he yet again did things that could have easily earned him a death sentence if someone had caught him with dirty hands.

He was careful enough to avoid exposing himself.

Simon was extremely astute and intelligent. His every action was carefully calculated, and he meticulously planned everything he did. He was not a big fan of surprises, which ensured he has never been caught off guard. Consequently, regardless of the situation he was in, he was well-prepared for any outcome. No matter how desperate things may appear to others, he always remained composed and knew exactly what actions to take to get out of sticky scenarios.

However, as he continued on his path, pushing himself to the extremes, he soon hit his limit. His lifestyle began to weigh him down, clouding his judgement — he was no longer thinking clearly. His diabolical side had emerged and taken full control. Simon was well aware of the consequences that awaited him if he continued living the way he did. If he didn’t change, eventually he would find himself trapped, ensnared in a mess of his own making, with no way to escape and get out scot-free.

That’s when he made the life-altering decision to join the military. Immersed in the rigorous training and discipline of military life, he underwent a transformation that not only honed his physical abilities, but also taught him how to merge his gut instincts with rational decision-making. Additionally, he acquired an array of new useful skills, which he believed might come in handy if his darkness resurfaced. Although he made a solemn promise to himself to never use those skills in real life. From that point forward, he was in charge of his own mind — he won’t lose control ever again.

But Simon had a bad habit of breaking promises.

In the real world, where he was known as Simon rather than Lieutenant Riley, he was cautious of never revealing his true colours. He constantly suppressed the darkest parts of himself, always striving to maintain a facade of normalcy, pretending like his sick and twisted nature doesn’t constantly test his limits and push all his buttons, urging him to loosen the screws in his head.

But in the military, he allowed himself to let go a bit. In this environment, he felt liberated from the fear of judgment and dared to embrace some part of his true character. The military recognised and celebrated his unique way of thinking, as well as his unwavering determination to pursue his desires and reach his goals.

He was the perfect soldier, a killing machine, who always accomplished all assigned tasks with remarkable precision and success. And, while his methods were unconventional and the way he chose to do certain things was controversial, everyone turned a blind eye and looked the other way, since he proved himself by doing all of his duties efficiently and with excellent results.

However, Simon’s inability to control his anger and violent tendencies became a serious issue, and he was forced to take a mandatory break when his most recent outburst nearly resulted in the tragic death of one recruit, who infuriated Simon to the point that he believed he had no other choice but to crack the guy’s skull in order to force him to stop acting out and being an annoying prick.

So now, he had three long months to do whatever he wanted, yet he had no idea how he was going to spend all this time. Accustomed to a structured lifestyle with rigorous schedules, assigned tasks, and clear directions, he felt lost. After spending almost a week cooped up in his house, he decided he needed to shake things up and break free from this monotonous routine. Being trapped indoors started suffocating him, causing his thoughts to spiral and wander back to unwanted fantasies, impulses that he had been trying very hard to suppress.

He started going to the gym three times a day, experimenting with new workout routines and testing weird exercise machines, which he usually tended to avoid. On top of that, he began going out more, each night eating dinner at a different restaurant. When that got boring, he even attempted to make a homemade meal, but failed. In an effort to inject even more variety into his days, he introduced daily walks to his to-do list. These walks in the fresh air not only gave him a chance to stretch his legs, but also provided an opportunity to let his eyes wander.

Whenever he saw a pretty woman walk by, his imagination would often run wild. He would attempt to figure out what her name could be, what her profession was, what she was like in the bed, and whether she would smile at him if he approached her or make an excuse to get away from him as quickly as possible.

Simon wasn’t a romantic, or so he told himself. Regardless of who he dated or how much effort he put in, the women always ended up leaving him, claiming he was too controlling, too demanding, and too pushy. They felt suffocated by his constant questioning, overwhelmed by his constant presence, and frustrated by his constant need to know everything and his tendency to treat them as if they were incapable of taking care of themselves.

So, he rarely dated nowadays.

However, as he walked home one late fall evening, his gaze was drawn to you.

You were hastily making your way down the bustling street, gripping your skirt to keep it from flying up in the strong breeze. Your hair, which you had straightened just before leaving the house, was now a chaotic mess of tangles and knots. With each step, you kept tripping over your heels, scolding yourself for even thinking that wearing them was a great idea.

You appeared to be having a terrible day, and no one else would have given you a second glance. In weather like this, everyone was focused on themselves, eager to get home as quickly as possible. However, Simon saw you and was immediately captivated, unable to tear his dark eyes away.

Without even realising what he was doing, he let his feet carry him, while his mind continued to whirl. As if drawn by an invisible force, he followed the sound of your heels clicking against the cold concrete, staying far away from you, so you wouldn’t notice his presence, yet close enough to observe you from afar.

He took careful note of every little detail about you. He examined your short skirt, staring at the flimsy fabric, curious to see if the wind would lift it and reveal the type of panties you had on, or perhaps the fact that you weren’t wearing any — that was an exciting thought. Afterwards, he couldn’t resist allowing his gaze to glide down your curves, captivated by the motion of your hips, watching as they swayed from side to side.

Eventually, you rushed into the coffee shop, filled with people seeking shelter from the awful dreadful and hoping to warm up with a hot cup of coffee. Simon followed you in, the bell chirping as he opened the glass door and entered. You were already at the back of the line, your eyes skimming the menu on the wall to check whether they had your favourite drink here. Without hesitation, he pushed through the crowd, weaving between the tables, and finally stopped behind you.

His gaze travelled down your back, immediately noting the height difference between you two. He imagined how well you would fit in his embrace, with his arms wrapped around your shoulders and his chin resting on the top of your head.

Simon inhaled deeply when you threw your hair over your shoulder. He wasn’t an avid fan of fragrances since they tended to be either excessively sweet or had an overpowering scent, making him want to sneeze and itch his nose. However, the perfume you had sprayed on overwhelmed him. The sweet smell wonderfully complimented you, magnifying his growing obsession with you just a bit more.

The queue, which had seemed never-ending, became increasingly shorter. When you got to the cashier and placed your order, you realised you didn’t have enough cash to pay. You began frantically digging through your purse, hoping to locate some loose change, but after looking through your purse and pockets several times, you had to give up.

Your cheeks were flushed, and you tried your best to maintain your composure and not stumble over your words as apologies poured from you; you despised being in the centre of attention. Your embarrassment intensified once you realised you were holding the line and causing others to wait. It felt like all the eyes were glued to you. Low murmurs and hushed laughter could be heard. Perhaps they weren’t directed at you, but in the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but assume you were the main topic of everyone’s current conversations.

“Let me,” Simon said, swooping in. His shoulder brushed against yours as he handed his credit card to the cashier.

“You don’t need to—”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” he replied, smiling, giving you a brief glance before adding another cup of black coffee with three sugars to his order.

“Names?” The cashier inquired.

“Simon,” he said, turning to look at you. “And...?”

“Y/N.” You replied, your lips curling into a smile as you looked away, unable to maintain eye contact.

While you were quietly, in your mind, expressing gratitude to the handsome stranger for saving you and paying for your coffee, Simon was already letting his mind wander. Although it was his first time speaking with you and you hardly exchanged any words, he felt an immediate connection with you. It was as if you had known each other for a long time. He couldn’t help but notice the subtle similarities between the two of you. One of those being your shared love for over-sweetened black coffee.

And your name...

Simon thought the name suited you perfectly. It was neither too long nor too short. It flowed smoothly when he said it, and he couldn’t help but repeat it in his mind over and over again.

[tens-girl]

Finished Rivals… have things to say…

Spoilers obvs ——>

Eeeeeeeeekkkkkk!

If you go into this show knowing it’s gonna be big, bold, brash, and unapologetic about being those things, you’ll have a great time!

The hair, the costumes, the music (oh god, the music - who stole my playlist?!), the cast - just everything is dialled up to 200% and if you dare to question ‘is it good though?’ it just shrugs and cuts to another sex montage.

Let’s be honest, I came (ahem) for David Tennant, but honestly, I stayed for so much more. He is brilliant of course, he always is, and his ability to capture the exact centre of a Venn diagram of pathetic and evil is unmatched - nobody does it like he does. He draws sympathy for a truly awful character, and certainly made me headbutt a wall a few times wondering how Tony kept making such terrible decisions. (Also if someone could supply a montage of him shouting fuck with full passion I’d be very grateful) - as he got more pathetic I honestly couldn’t resist him. His destruction of the Declan set is one of the most laughably pathetic things I’ve ever seen and I was almost crying watching it.

Meanwhile, they’re bending over backwards to make us like Rupert and I just can’t do it. He also makes lots of terrible decisions (mostly with his dick of course) and for me it undermines the apparent ‘he loves Taggie’ thing. I just wish he’d go home and play with his dogs.

(Also Gertrude is my favourite character, just the best dog!)

Shout out to Victoria Smurfit who knocks it out of the park as Maud - she has some of the best line deliveries in the whole show, particularly as she prepares to leave for London and resume her career.

But honestly, my heart belongs to Freddy and Lizzie. If you’d told me I’d be grinning with happiness, with tears in my eyes, for a sex scene between Danny Dyer and Katherine Parkinson before I started watching this, I’d have called a doctor for you, but that’s the truth. They are spectacular and I adored them. I’ve never been a fan of Danny before, but he completely seduced me here, and I already loved Katherine (IT Crowd fans in our house) - but between them, they supplied the real ‘rooting for them’ heart of the series. I want to see them together in everything now!

Back to DT - the top tier irony of having his character win his first BAFTA and then have him clubbed over the head with it… priceless, and I personally suggest the academy honour him with a long overdue nod for this role simply in order to see him receive it with trepidation in case he gets bludgeoned with it. It even beat the joyous irony of Tony being all true blue and Tory after… well everything that went down this summer!

(Also, the way Tony passed the award to Cameron as they collected it made me think that if David had won this year for Crowley, he’d have absolutely asked Michael up on stage to give it to him because Aziraphale should share it)

And lastly… Love is a Battlefield is an excellent song, but I will never be able to listen to it again now. Oh pathetic-evil DT characters, please stop wobbling my moral compass (sorry, I’m writing Kilgrave fanfic right now so I’m all over the place in terms of right and wrong)

Anyway, it was great fun and I’ve told everyone to watch it, 80s references bingo cards at the ready!

[sailorgoon13]

Draco Malfoy

Character Information

Name: Draco Lucius Malfoy

Birth Date: 5 June, 1980

House: Slytherin

Year: Seventh

Blood Status: Pure Blood

Physical Appearance

Height: 6' (183 cm)

Body Type: Lean, slender, toned.

Hair Color and Style: Platinum blonde, almost white. Typically keeps it styled combed back

Eye Color: Icy blue

Skin Tone: Fair

Distinguishing Features: Sharp facial structure, cold eyes

Style: Classic and tailored. Prefers dark/ muted colors of luxurious fabrics. Always groomed and polished

Magical Details

Wand: Hawthorne, Unicorn Hair, 10", Slightly springy

Patronus: He can not produce one (but if he could I'd give him a white ferret hehe)

Boggart: Voldemort

Amortentia Scents: Polished wood, Green apples, Cedarwood

Polyjuice: Would appear a silver-grey color with specks of light blue and have a scent of citrus, would taste bitter with a sweet after taste.

Skills and Abilities: Dueling, Flying, Excels in academics, Strategic

Personality

General Personality: Aristocratic, Ambitious, Loyal, Judgmental, Intelligent, Talented

Strengths: Strategic thinking, Cunning, Manipulative, Combat skills

Weaknesses: Prejudice, Emotional distant, Moral dilemmas, Over reliance on family

Hobbies and Interests: Quidditch, Studying Dark Arts, Fine arts and culture, Potions and magical studies

Hogwarts Life

Favorite Class: Potions

Least Favorite Class: Muggle Studies

Favorite Professor: Snape

Least Favorite Professor: Trelawney

Extracurricular Activities: Slytherin Quidditch team (Seeker)

Friend Group: Theo Nott, Blaise Zabini, Enzo Berkshire, Mattheo Riddle

Rivalries: The Golden Trio

Family

Father: Lucius Malfoy

Influential pure-blood

Death Eater alliance

Strict and Authoritative

Mother: Narcissa Malfoy (former Black)

Protective and loving

Less involved with Dark Arts

Family- Orientated

Siblings: N/A

Family Background:

Home Life: The manor is described as being grand, with elegant furnishings, expansive rooms, and a sense of old-world luxury. They are dedicated to formality and tradition. They have many various dar artifacts and magical items. He had been groomed to follow his dad in his footsteps which created a tense atmosphere. They focus a lot of their pure-blood status and their involvement with the Dark Lord which also caused a sense of isolation between Draco and his friends

Significant Life Events: Being sorted into Slytherin, Getting Voldemort for the first time, His role in the Dark Lords plans

Career Aspirations: Curse -Breaker or Unspeakable

Additional Information

Likes: Hanging out with his friends, Prestigious social events, Winning (whether it be Quidditch or academically), Privilege

Dislikes: Muggle-Borns, People he sees as "stupid" or "lesser", Failure

Miscellaneous: Draco often times shows a disdain for authority. He likes to test the boundaries around him, including his professors. With his outward arrogance and confidence, he masks his insecurities and his vulnerability.

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

Someone You Can Build a Nest In was, in fact, pretty good, but it went in a different direction than I was hoping for and I'm not sure how to feel about it.

The story follows Shesheshen, a solitary shapeshifting monster who hunts the travelers and merchants that pass through her territory, along with the occasional monster hunters who come to slay her. She is rather lonely, and reminisces fondly and lovingly about her mother, who was slain when she was young, and her father, whose body she grew inside and who she ate her way out of when she was ready to be born. On her hunts, she keeps an eye out for someone who might make for a similarly loving parent to plant her own eggs in. After a close encounter with some hunters while in a roughly human shape, Shesheshen is nurses back to health by a kind woman who has mistaken her for human, and promptly falls head over heels. Before she can get around to explaining her true nature and enquire about how her newly beloved would feel about being a parent, they are both drawn into a new and concerted effort to hunt down the local monster - Sheshen herself. Hijinks, of course, ensue.

The thing that immediately captured me when I started reading was how well the narration captured Shesheshen's fundamental inhumanity while still making her layered, complex, and intelligent. Her visceral emotional reactions are shaped by her biological nature as a predator, and these emotions lead to distinctly inhuman values and morals - Shesheshen places no intrinsic value on human lives and feels no compunctions whatsoever about eating sentient people. Her love and lust are consumptive in nature, and she romanticizes this. The fact that she cannot have her cake and eat it too is something she has difficulty dealing with. But she's also capable of a great deal of sympathy and empathy for specific humans, and the love she has for the father she ate causes her to care a great deal about consent - she doesn't want to consume out of love someone who doesn't want to be consumed.

In addition to her psychology, Shesheshen's physiology is also excellently inhuman and conveyed in great visceral detail, and the way her body functions is very interesting. My favorite parts of the book are the introduction and the denouement, because these are the areas where her psychology and physiology receive the most undivided attention. They aren't ignored throughout the rest of the book by any means, but they take a backseat to the plot, which is why I feel a bit conflicted about the book as a whole. I was really enjoying the in-depth character study of the introduction, and would've really liked to have the whole book be in that vein.

The plot, to be clear is not bad - it's honestly quite good, and it delves heavily into themes of generational and familial trauma, self-sacrifice, the normalization and romanticization of profound harm, and the difficulty of growth and self-actualization, all while being fairly entertaining and well-executed as a story. I think its themes were a bit heavy-handed in places, and I think some of its exploration was hobbled and flattened by the book's queernorm setting, but I won't relitigate that old argument here. It was suitably gripping and solidly entertaining.

I think the central relationship was solid and compelling, though again, I would've liked it more if the whole book had been focused on a deep exploration of their characters and dynamics. There's a lot of rich ground to the basic premise of "monster falls in love with human, wants to express that love in a way that is actively dangerous/horrifying to the human, doesn't know how to talk about it", and the story layers additional complexities onto that dynamic that are very compelling, but for as much of that interesting ground that the book explored, it left plenty more untouched. One detail that I did find both novel and enjoyable is that both the love interest Homily and Shesheshen herself are all but explicitly sex-averse asexuals by human standards, which is something I have not encountered in a lot of media. The exploration of that experience is not particularly deep because, again, queernorm, but it is present and it was compelling.

This was a really unique and compelling read, though, and I expect it to be one that stays with me. Given my own interest in body horror and inhumanity (shameless plug for Memoirs of a Flesh Eater in the notes), I wouldn't be surprised to see some influences from this book in my own writing going forward.

On the whole, I definitely enjoyed this book and would definitely recommend it, but not without a few warnings. Body horror is a constant element in this book; Shesheshen's shapeshifting is purposely off-putting, and she eats people. This is described in substantial detail. Also, there is a lot of parental and familial abuse depicted, much more than you would expect from the basic premise, so go in prepared. On the other hand, though, if you're looking for a true gothic horror tragic toxic doomed romance or a heavy character study that really plumbs the depths of an inhuman psyche, you will probably be frustrated by how close it comes to being that without actually being that.

[24kmagiic]

saw one of your old posts about Davina and Bonnie. I know you ship Klonnie and I was curious if you think Klavina?(klaus/davinas) dynamic is what Klonnie’s would’ve started off as

I felt like Bonnie was robbed in canon but Davina is elevated in the show even when she’s kicked aside she still gets her happy ending by the end of it all.

Hiii!

So, while I used to be so against her, towards the end of the show's run, I didn't mind Davina because, at the end of a very long day, she was a kid caught in supernatural business. However, it was painfully obvious to me that Davina was who they refused to let Bonnie be. She was their pitiful attempt to erase Bonnie. However, it didn't work because she was quickly cast aside, which I believe was because they never had a real purpose for her EXCEPT to erase Bonnie.

With all that said, yes, the way Davina kept her foot on Klaus's neck would have been identical to how I imagined Bonnie would be. We already saw her be that way with Damon. Damon couldn't pass gas without Bonnie showing up to make sure no one else smelled it lmao.

The possibilities in which the two of them would eventually warm up to one another are endless, and I feel like every Klonnie story in existence has found its own ways of showcasing how the two of them would eventually come together.

I am a SUCKER for forced proximity which I think works excellent for Enemies to Lovers tropes. But I also think the two of them would just naturally realize that they're two sides of the same coin and find their stake in each other's lives that way.

(This next part is me rambling and has nothing to do with what you asked, so you can skip past the italicized text if you want lol.)

People always see Bonnie as this moral beacon that is full of light but if you really dig deep, Bonnie is a very dark character. She is the antithesis of evil, which does not always equate to what we define as 'good.' Bonnie's goodness is rooted in the way she masters evil, and she knows how and when to tap in. (For example: Trying to kill Damon by fire.)

Most "good' characters we see in media today aren't actually good, they're harmless. Elena is a perfect example of this. Just because she was physically unable to hurt a fly doesn't mean she was a good person. Her selfishness placed Bonnie in ugly situations plenty of times, but it was brushed off because she was trying to be good. (Think of how Seattle responded to the BLM protests and how it negatively affected the whole movement. They 'meant' well, but we caught the fire behind that mess.)

On the flip side, Bonnie would be classified as an 'extremist' if she was in a political landscape. That said, Klaus is also an extremist but on the opposite end. (Think 'right-wing' and 'left-wing' but without the political connotations.) In my opinion, this is why they work so well together but they're bound to bump heads because of it.

(And now, back to Klonnie!)

There are so many commonalities between the two of them that make shipping Klonnie so fun.

Similar to how two siblings can grow up in the same house and face the same trauma but end up polar opposites of one another, that's how I view Klonnie's commonalities (minus the sibling bit, obviously). They both faced similar traumas, but how they processed it turned them into different people. Klaus is the Yin to Bonnie's Yang.

Shared Traumas:

Parental Negligence

Bonnie: Rudy was negligent after Abby left him and Bonnie and thus Bonnie grew up alone with only Grams who failed to teach Bonnie about her heritage. (I'm aware it was against Rudy's wishes but I'm still side-eyeing lol.)

Klaus: Esther was negligent in keeping his father's identity from him and allowing her husband to abuse him. Also, she created that necklace to weaken him for her own selfishness, thus putting the target on his back when it came to Mikael.

Abandonment

Bonnie: Her mother walked out on her for no legitimate reason. Her father was always gone and Grams was an alcoholic (so they say). Even the people in her life were emotionally absent. Then you have her friends who left her to deal with the consequences of magic alone.

Klaus: After killing their mother, he had a deep fear of his siblings abandoning him. Therefore, he became obsessed with loyalty. His biological father was nowhere to be found until a thousand years later.

For brevity's sake, I'll stop with those two but they have others.

How they processed these traumas is so interesting:

They both gained an unnatural sense of loyalty, which lies in the fear of abandonment. Klaus forced loyalty onto others, while Bonnie gave loyalty to those who never earned it or didn't deserve it.

Bonnie became codependent on her friends because she had no one else, and Klaus became co-dependent on his family for the same.

Bonnie became overburdened by responsibility. She became everyone's 'go-to' for morality and protection, which gave her a skewed sense of importance, but it also burned her out. Klaus became controlling and constantly sought validation (from Elijah in particular).

Klaus ruled through fear because of Mikael's abuse. Everyone's acceptance of Mikael's abuse sort of validated his use of fear as a way of controlling people. Bonnie used her morality as a means of control for both herself and others.

Klaus is very self-loathing, and while Bonnie doesn't initially appear to be that way, she is too. Her strong moral code is just that, her way of torturing herself. (For example: Constantly sacrificing herself for 'good' simply because she has the duty of wielding magic.)

If Klaus controlled his siblings, Bonnie's control came with how she wielded that moral compass of hers. Seeing everyone around her live freely was triggering because she had to be responsible so early in her life. She never got to make mistakes. Mistakes meant abandonment to her, so she walked a fine line and tried to force others to do the same. (This may be why she struggled with her magic so often. I often wondered if the spirits were actually punishing her or if she was self-actualizing and punishing herself subconsciously.)

This is the tip of the iceberg with these two, but can you already see the pattern? My favorite aspect is how one craves what the other has. Klaus craves loyalty, and Bonnie craves control. They both want what the other (seemingly) has.

[swordandscytheandpen]

Finished Guide. I have thoughts.

Mostly positive ones. I have nitpicks, sure, but it's damn near impossible to write a fully satisfying resolution to a three million word story. EE did an insanely good job considering.

Akua was one of the highlights, of course. Her arc was indeed probably the single best redemption story I've ever seen. The pivot in Praes, in particular, was amazingly compelling ("why was she not hearing the song?" hit me HARD). @kvothbloodless once responded to my tags while I was in the middle of Book 2, assuaging my skepticism that a character as remarkably hateable as Akua could have a well-executed redemption arc, and I gotta say her confidence was well-placed. It's a testament to EE's character writing skills that a character who is not only morally monstrous but immensely personally unlikeable could be turned around like this. I'll make fun of Guide's length, of course, but I don't think an arc like this could be handled so well in a work of reasonable length. It's a strength both of the writer and the medium, I suppose.

Her final fate, like most of the cast's, was a pretty solid conclusion to her character arc as well. Really followed through on the narrative's refusal to entertain redemption through death, while still being a surprise, unlike the whole Dead-King's-jailor thing. The dynamics of that particular fate on her character had already been explored through her and Cat's thoughts several times, so it's nice to see something different, instead of just watching the original plan play out with rings instead of a crown.

Same goes for a lot of the other characters. Viv and Indrani had excellent conclusions. Masego and Hakram I'm not dissatisfied with, though I do have minor points of umbrage. Hakram's arc might just have gone past me a little bit; I feel that if he has to be tied so tightly to the Clans as a whole he really needed more foreshadowing connecting him to his home. Instead, it felt a little bit like a family-conquers-all story shoved in with only justification in the moment, which ain't really my cup of tea. More specifically, it felt like the narrative required him to have deeply-held goals that he could go be independent about, but forgot to actually touch on those goals until he'd already left Catherine. Still, just a mild disappointment.

Then we've got Masego, and my take on him is similar in that it's broadly satisfying but I just feel like it doesn't fit in certain ways. In his case, it's mostly the apotheosis: the edges of that particular puzzle piece seem rough, as if EE had something else in mind but swapped it out relatively late in the process. There was some hinting that his dream of godhead would result in conflict with Cat, and then they just... didn't do that. Then in the epilogues, it really seems like his apotheosis hadn't made much impact on who he is or what he does. His part of the epilogue would have been just as suitable, to my eyes, if he hadn't achieved that. So it fell flat a little bit, which took some of the wind out of his ending. Everything else about him was great though.

Catherine's ending took the longest for me to think through. At first I was a bit ambivalent about it, 'cause it felt like nothing was really subverted. Minus a few hiccups, she got everything she wanted. Cardinal. The Liesse Accords. Even all the Woe surviving. The only thing she didn't get was Akua, and she already knew that wasn't on the table. I really just did not expect a straightforward Catherine Wins ending to the Guide. I thought she'd probably die at least; in fact, I thought the most likely outcome was Cat's death and her goals being posthumously realized! This story sure felt like a tragic ending was coming down the pipes!

And then once again, I remembered that this is a story about stories. What Cat has isn't just a happy ending, it's one last victory over the narrative. It's a middle finger to the idea that villains don't get to sail off into the sunset. And you know, it really takes some strength to put a fresh coat of paint on the very idea of a happy ending. So yeah, Cat's ending is great. Just perfect.

But of course, there's no way to wrap up three million words while satisfying every single plot point. So, keeping in mind that APGTE is probably among my top 5 written works in the English language now, I do have a point or two of order.

First off, towards the end, Named were dying like flies. Felt like every chapter had a list of casualties all its own. And I can see the drive to do that; there were a lot of Named involved by that point and there had to be casualties. It keeps the stakes high and the villains scary. But I can't help but feel discouraged from reading once six characters I'm somewhat engaged with die in the span of two chapters. Mostly offscreen.

The biggest offender here was the Painted Knife's band. I really loved the bonus chapter about their backstories, as well as the concept of them as the first band containing both heroes and villains, and I'd wish we'd seen nore of how that relationship developed. And I thought it was a weighty enough label that they'd shot up again later. So when it was mentioned offhand that the Royal Conjurer was killed, I was blindsided a little bit. And then the rest died, one by one, offscreen (except the Knife). Poor Poisoner. She was my favorite. Felt like wasted potential, like a story that wasn't followed through to the end. The Blade of Mercy was in a similar boat. He was important in the Arsenal arc! Let him die onscreen at least!

There was Roland too, who wasn't as bad. His death wasn't really satisfying, another surprise Hawk casualty, but at least it was shown and meaningful. Still, I feel like he deserved a proper character arc outside his backstory. Poor guy.

A couple other deaths, too: Rafaella and Alexis in the fight against the Dead King. Rafaella was ambiguous enough that I really wasn't sure whether she was dead for a while, and even after... I dunno. The hero who killed Captain needed a stronger resolution than "sacrificed herself to get rid of the Dead King's last line of revenants." Then Alexis's death just wasn't meaningful; it wasn't for anything. And I know, I know, that's not how death works, but it is in stories! Didn't feel right. It was too fast.

But the Keter deaths were really my biggest gripe, and if that's the biggest problem I have with a conclusion to a story that long? I can only offer applause.

You know what death I didn't have a problem with? Hanno, in the epilogue. How the hell do you kill a character that major in just a few sentences and make it feel satisfying? The epilogues were just all-around great. The character deaths and resolutions felt natural, plot points that were touched on in the main story were shown to ultimately be left to the next generation, and the continued history and development of the world made it feel so alive. It's a common sin for characters to create a new static world that's supposed to feel like it'll last forever. And sure, the framework of the Accords are kinda like that, but the rest of the world? There are still wars, still conflicts, still upheavals. (The Republic of Orense was a nice touch in that regard.) The epilogues are nearly flawless and I will stand by that.

Last thing - of course I gotta talk about Anaxares. When Yara dropped him into the Serenity, I was pretty hyped about it. But then... I dunno. It turned out a bit flat. Felt less like the culmination of Anaxares's character and more like a plot device to cross the Serenity out of the equation. At the end of the day, with Anaxares sitting in the Serenity through the final battle and then appearing in the epilogues just to pop up years in the future, cause problems, and run off again, he felt weirdly like a sequel hook? And forgive me, but I'd eat my hat if there's a sequel. I guess it's imagination bait, which is certainly preferable to a poorly-executed conclusion. He's still my favorite non-Cat character. If there's any decent fic about him, please give it.

Speaking of, that's all I've got. Looking back up, this was mostly petty complaints, but I wanna be clear: once the first few books were past and EE broke their worst writing habits, this became one of my favorite writing pieces ever. The length and the proliferation of typos and other errors mean that I'd hesitate to fullthroatedly recommend it to anyone, but it's one of those works that has permanently altered my brain. Good fucking book.

Okay, Pale Lights time. Hopefully I'll catch up before Book 3 comes to an end, but I'm not gonna rush. Rapidly chewing through ridiculously long works is not, I have learned, conducive to getting the most enjoyment out of them.

[springdaydreams]

Questioned Morals (II)

────୨ৎ────

Summary: Ned is in love

Word count: 1.2k

Questioned Morals (I)

────୨ৎ────

The next day in the morning, Ned wakes up drenched in sweat, his breathing heavy and skin sticky he throws the furs off his body and gets out of the bed and walks towards the window in haste, he opens to let the air cool his flushed skin, he had dream but not just any dream, it was a dream about you a lewd and obscene dream, he shakes his head trying not to think about it, he closes his eyes trying to clear his mind, but the image of you under him skin soft and sweaty flashes in front of him in an attempt to get rid of such thoughts he walks to the table in his room and pours himself a generous serving of wine. The wine was chill and tart soothing his throat as he drank, taking big gulps as if it would wash the dream away, setting down the goblet he concludes that this is all just silly infatuation and that he must be lonely.

────୨ৎ────

As the day goes on Ned as routine is busy, walking down the hallway lost in his head he does not notice footsteps coming towards him, walking at an unnecessarily fast pace he pauses when he feels someone bump into his shoulder, looking down he notices the fiery red hair that looked so much like Catelyns.

“Sansa”?

“oh? I was just coming to meet you father, I wanted to thank you”-

Ned is half hearing whatever it is that Sansa is saying until your name is uttered, his attention is back on her-

“they are such a sweet person they would make a splendid lady-in-waiting”

You and her lady-in-waiting? When did he approve of that? He revisits the conversation he had with your father and realises when he was spacing out he had agreed to making you a lady-in-waiting for Sansa, his stomach drops and he realises what a grave mistake he has made- what would he do now? you would be around winterfell all the time now.

“Sansa dear, I have to leave now.” It came out more rushed than Ned had wished but he hadn't in him.

He was pacing through the to go to his room once entering, he pours himself a glass of wine and drinks it down in one gulp, exhaling a heavy sigh he thinks back to yesterday he hadn’t heard your voice yet or he did? he can't really remember either way it must be just as sweet as you look, remembering the issue at hand, he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“How could you be so foolish?” He asked himself, this shouldn’t bother him though, you are nearly half his age, he groans out and decides that he should end the day here.

The next morning as Ned was walking past the training grounds, he saw you and Robb talking, smiling like two silly kids, he smiled at the prospect of you and Robb getting married, you had a sweet character and would make an excellent Queen Of the North.

‘What if you were his Queen Of the North?’ he chastises himself for thinking so, you would never even look at him.

As the week progressed you had noticed Ned had been avoiding you, whenever you were in front of him he would turn the other way and rush away and whenever he was in the same room as you, you would always feel his eyes on you but when you looked towards him he would quickly look away, This rather odd.

So you decided to come in his way more, you would look out for him, seek him out in the crowd of furs in the great hall, you deliberately walk past him a little closer than acceptable so he could smell the perfumed oils you put in your bath ‘sandalwood and amber’ noted Ned, you smelled like what he imagined the sun would smell like. Through the entire week Ned had been going through dilemma, the harder he tried to avoid the closer you came, it was as if some unseeable force was pulling you closer to each other, whenever you got too close to Ned he would pray to the gods to give him strength to put his hands around and pull you in, so one night he decided to visit the godswood and plead the gods to put him out of his misery.

One night, sleep was difficult to come so, you decided to take a walk towards the Godswood, wearing one of your heavier furs you leave for the Godswood.

Entering the forest, you saw someone standing, bringing your fur closer to yourself, clearing your throat to get the unknown person’s attention, the person whipping their head to look back at the noise, their hand on the hilt of their sword ready to attack. As your eyes meet you realise it was no one other than The Eddard Stark himself, all of his tall and broad shouldered frame standing right in front you. Recovering from the shock, you ask.

“Is sleep hard to come by, my lord?”

Ned looked like he had seen a ghost-

“I- yes my lady”

There is a pregnant pause between you two, looking at him trying to think of what to say-

“Are you avoiding me?”

You bite your tongue, looking at him with wide eyes.

“I apologise, my lord ‘tis not my-

“You needn’t apologise, you are correct, I have been avoiding”

Ned interrupts you, opening your mouth to say something but you stop yourself.

“I haven’t been avoiding you out of disdain but rather”- Ned pauses not knowing what to say.

“It’s just that” “I” “Uhm” were the only sounds coming out of his mouth for a few seconds, was Ned Stark stuttering.

“I am in love with you.”

That statement takes you aback, ‘in love with you?’ You had always Ned rather attractive, with all his honour and striking northerner features, your father had made you Sansa’s lady-in-waiting with the hopes of a future marriage with one of the Stark boys, preferably Robb, but you never looked at that Robb like that, he was younger than you and rather cocky. Ned on the other hand, was older and had an air about him, something very attractive that just increased tenfold when mixed with the smell of pine and leather.

“You are all I think about, day and night you have occupied my mind”-

Stepping closer to him you put your hand on his shoulder. “You are in love with me?”

Ned sighs out “Yes my lady, I am irrevocably in love with you, and when I tried avoiding you there was some unseeable force pulling us together and I do not think I can do this anymore”-

To pause him from, you cup his face “You do not need an explanation of why you're in love.

“But” you place your lips on his, they were cold and slightly rough and you could taste the wine he had earlier for supper, Ned pauses not knowing what to do, frozen in shock, a few seconds after the shock wears down, he puts his hands on your waist and pulls you closer, kissing you back. After a few seconds you both pull back to catch you breath, you put your hands on his shoulders and he moves his hands to cup you face, as he looks into your eyes, he decides he will start courting you properly and that morals be damned as he pulls you in for another kiss.

────୨ৎ────

Fin.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I think that the important thing to consider, when writing about Ed and violence, is to do some self-reflection to make sure you're not giving more weight to Ed's violence than that of other characters (and white characters especially).

OFMD, as a show, does not pass moral judgments on violence, other than "if you're a bigot you deserve what you get," which is very sexy and cool of them. Ed, who is horrified that he is defined by his capacity for violence, does not feel the same way, and has invented little rules for himself to get by as the best in a very violent profession. At the start of the story he NEEDED to be able to look himself in the eye and answer the question of "have I killed anyone since my dad," honestly, with "no," even though he's a smart man and he no doubt knows perfectly well that the other equally valid answer is "yes."

I do think that Ed's hang-ups around violence extend to more than just killing itself - Ed's a social chameleon and is excellent at fitting into what the situation demands of him. Prime example is him shouting "that's what you fuckin' get!" at the Swede when Jack hits him with the whip, and then seeming extremely ashamed and embarrassed when he tells Stede "this is what I am" before he leaves the ship. It gives me the impression of a guy who has been very, very good at fitting into a violent culture, even as he becomes ashamed of it when he gives his behavior more thought. I think Knife Parade is an example of the exact same situation - Fang was ""playing along,"" just like the Swede, and Ed was playing a role just as much.

There's no question that Ed is willing to use violence as a tool when needed, but for him, we always get the impression it's more of a tool than something he enjoys. Ed is genuinely very difficult to goad into anger, and his violence is always an extremely controlled reaction (think about him threatening the boat captain to tell him where the loot is - he just flipped that persona on no problem, and shut it off just as easily). But where lovable characters like Roach genuinely seem to enjoy violence, Ed's jaded to it and seems to prefer to delegate the necessary violence whenever possible.

So the important thing to keep in mind, I think, is if you pass judgment on Ed for things like going on raids (where we don't ever even see him participate), why should that get more weight than when Stede does the same (with much more enthusiasm)?

And my biggest thing, always, is that Ed's violence is a tool he uses in service of his job. Unless your modern AU has Ed formerly being in some similarly violent occupation (which I would approach with caution and care), he's not going to be a guy with three murder charges and a double-sided rap sheet. Not every AU where Ed has a violent past is racist, and there are some that are done very well, and, hell, I'm planning one myself! But I think it's worth being thoughtful about Ed's relationship to violence and how you're mapping that into your AU.

[bi-hop]

coming back to the kabru is like jesus if he was judas comparison. I think it's interesting that kabru always knew that he couldn't be the one to conquer the dungeon so he wanted to find people who could and support them, because he knows he's an excellent judge of character.

but the thing is, he still wants to be the hero. he still has a saviour complex. he's still envious that laios of all people is the one who has the potential to beat the mage. i think he wanted to be the one™ in some way . he *needed* to be needed by laios, he wanted to be like hermes, a psychopomp, or maybe charon, the ferryman that guides laios. so when laios /ignored/ him (not laios' fault truly he just . bad timing. sorry kabru) he felt resentful and yet even more determined to get in laios' orbit, to be the light. to be important in his eyes, like, judas when he said to the woman who used expensive oil to clean jesus ' feet. he said "why not just give it to the poor?" because he wanted praise. he wanted his teacher to look at him and go "look, i listened to you! i know what you teach!"

thats why laios rubbed off on him and he used a nutrition metaphor even because hes like. he wants to be jesus (the one to sacrifice himself and save the world from the dungeons to prevent another utaya) but hes judas (the adversary. the supporter from the shadows. the one who shows the soldiers (canaries) who jesus is. the one who " reported " him in the first place)

anyway yeah I think he has. a Jesus complex and when he met Laios he got mad with envy because he realized he was Judas help me

this is so good, turning it over in my head.

an element of kabru's character that grabbed me early on and is reinforced as he begins to bet on laios is his preoccupation with morality. people complain about the murder (bc people are lame BUT I DIGRESS!) but don't typically focus on the justifications he gives. even without knowing about the demon's nature, he is able to understand that greed and violence will only beget more of the same as those who can adapt will turn worse and those who cannot will be exploited or flee. for him, it's like ripping out weeds from a garden to protect what he cherishes.

I agree that he feels very self-critical when he finally admits that he can't be the knight in shining armor that he wants to be, due to his inability to survive as long as he wants in the dungeon. even without the motivation of going back to save falin, laios and his party had already went further on a regular basis than he has.

(shake me if I'm remembering wrong, but when we first meet kabru's party, isn't it one of their first times ever successfully making it to the third floor? lmao.)

and so the point to me was always that, yes, kabru wants to be the guy and yes, his party supports him as the guy, but realistically? he'd need someone else to at the very least support him. but he's very practical so it made immediate sense to me that he'd start looking for someone who he can either trust to take on the role or who is capable enough to get to a point where kabru could then take over. (again, all pre-finding out what being a dungeon lord truly means)

despite the latter being an option though, kabru's preoccupation with morality still stands. if he was truly the cold rational being some people seem to see him as, it would have been simple to simply throw his lot in with the first strong yet horrible person he observed. but he's picky selective. even with laios as his choice, he's CONSTANTLY fighting The Demons about it. his nightmare alone makes it clear that he has extremely well-rooted doubts and fears about what laios might do.

^ funniest page ever to me btw

but despite that, he still continually does the work of supporting him, albeit with a lot of setbacks and complications OADSJDODSOJD

i don't necessarily think the lens that we're currently taking is what ryoko intended but to conclude it is funny the themes of betrayal because technically kabru does betray laios' trust once lycion's like "ayo, he hates monster food btw, he's a SNAKE" and then he fumbles his way into... sort of regaining it? kinda? of course, by post-canon, he has it fully back, but speaking exclusively of the main story here.

[liesmyth]

my problem with some desperate glory was that I loved all the stuff it was doing quietly, but once it started talking about stuff openly I started rolling my eyes. maybe this is a me problem, but for a book whose politics I agree with, I was getting very tired of "look at this queer-normative universe!" "look the Black girl is underestimated by the white men in charge" stuff. but the creeping horror of the forced pregnancy stuff? the genocide bits? all excellent. so I'm feeling really conflicted on it tbh

you 🤝 me not wanting to be spoon-fed Themes

I think there's a broader discussion to be had here, which is: when you want to write Politically Aware Genre Fiction, sometimes you have to really hit the reader in the face with it, because many readers are primed to ignore Issues if they are subtextual. see also that NK Jemisin thread about "blatant" vs "subtle" approach to discrimination in scifi. I think she makes very valid points! I also think that some of her books personally are not to my taste, because I got the message the first twelve times and then I got bored.

SDC does some of that, repeating so, so many times that there are no high-ranking female officers on Gaea and the population is 95% White. (Exordia, which I'm reading rn, also does that re: US military war crimes, and I'm getting tired of it already 200 pages in). I didn't find the Themes of it all to be THAT grating in SDG but, to me, the main issue is that, by the very nature of the worldbuilding... there just aren't many complex female characters, barring the POV character who's very much A Teenager in a way that makes the story feel very coming of age, and idk. I was not expecting a novel about a bunch of young adults coming together to save their society (in a way that was ultimately maybe a bit anticlimactic) although I really enjoyed all that came beforehand. I think I would have liked the book more if it had ended at like 80% and there had been a time skip sequel, or a different ending sequence.

Also: weirdly enough for as much as I'm bitching and moaning that I wanted more morally grey women, my favourite character was probably Avi. I think that if his Corporal Lin had more space I would have been ALL OVER her.