#like 2020 Ice was grateful to be here

[tododeku-or-bust]

I know that it's a weird question, but can white people make poc/black characters? Not even talking about creating one but with care (I believe that's always important) just creating one in general

I don't usually answer questions meant for my other blog on this one, but like... Why wouldn't you be? What's stopping you? Why would I make an entire blog dedicated to the skill if you couldn't 🤣🤣🤣 come on now, friend.

The thing is, no one can stop you from making Black characters, and other characters of color. Especially when we all know that white consumers usually won't support Black and Brown creators as much as they do white-geared projects featuring characters of color. Tis unfortunately the current state of race in media.

And since we can't stop you, you could at least be GOOD at it, yes? No more half assed, 2B haired, whitewashed attempts at a white man painted brown followed by "well I tried and you should be grateful" bc no, I shouldn't! I've quickly grown past the stage of "being grateful that I'm here". I'm here, I'm always gone BE here, and I deserve to be depicted properly! If you're going to create someone that's supposed to be me, you could at least put your whole pussy into it! 👍🏾 But that's me.

[buckysgrace]

31. Smoke & a Light

Final part of Every Little Thing! Thank you so much for reading <3

2020

Life was hard without Gator.

They made it with many visits, phone calls and the video chats that they got. He wasn’t in jail too far away, but it still took a few hours to get back and forth. She wondered where they would go when he got released from prison. 

It had been hard moving back in with her parents at first, but she was grateful for the help. Ruby was always good with the kids and things got to stay semi-normal as Daphne did more around the ranch. Birdie was comfortable here, as was Gator’s snake.

She moved back into her old room, while they spruced Noelle’s old room up for Maude and Jessica. She moved Piper and Knox’s nursery into Oliver’s old room, deciding that there wasn’t any rush to move them apart for now. 

Moving didn’t seem like a bad idea at all, but she wouldn’t do it until she had Gator’s support. The small town that they lived in had turned brutal. Everyone spread rumors anyways, but she had heard some fairly cruel things about how it was impossible for her to not have been involved, or she was just downright dumb to not notice what was happening underneath her nose.

She knew she shouldn’t listen to any of them because they really didn’t know what she’d gone through, but it still bothered her. She should’ve been more aware, she knew that. There was no changing it now. She just hoped that it could all be left in the past. 

Piper and Knox had the hardest time adjusting in her opinion. There was no way to really explain where Gator had gone and they had clearly taken notice of his absence. They cried and whined for days, weeks until they eventually died down. She almost thought that was the worst part, she was afraid that the twins would forget who he was. 

In April they had a small party for the twins, to celebrate their birthday. Daphne had saved a piece of the Winnie the Pooh cake that she had baked for them. She hoped that she’d be able to bring it in for Gator. She took plenty of pictures, hoping that he’d be able to look at them when the time came. 

She worked on slowly scrubbing Knox’s face clean, sighing as she realized the blue icing was completely in his hair. She shook her head, wondering how someone so small could be so messy. 

“When will Gator be back?” Maude whined as she held onto Daphne’s arm, swaying back and forth as she tried to get her attention. It had been a struggle to pay attention to both sets of twins. She knew Maude and Jessica missed their parents, but she was struggling to care for them. They often didn’t like to listen to her. She felt bad, but many times she found herself pushing them off towards Ruby. 

“Soon,” Daphne answered gently, “He’ll be back before you know it.” She tried to give her a gentle smile, but she was worried about Gator. His moods seemed to change every time she visited, but it wasn’t because he was doing it on purpose. He was going through a lot too. 

“What about my mommy and daddy?” Maude blinked up at her curiously, her eyes mirrored behind thick eyelashes as her expression slightly fell. Daphne paused, parting her lips as she dropped her hands away from Knox. 

“I don’t know,” Daphne answered honestly. Karen’s sentence had been a lot longer and she was sure that Roy’s escape would only occur when he finally passed, “Do you want to write to them again?” She asked softly. Karen answered as frequently as she could, but Roy had yet to answer one letter from the girls. She suspected that he wouldn’t either. 

She’d been working on teaching them all braille despite Gator getting so offended over it. She thought that he was getting upset over nothing. Even if his eyesight was coming back, it wouldn’t be a bad thing to know. She had plans on all of them writing a letter once they got a little better. 

“Dada,” Piper babbled out, leaning over Daphne’s knees to poke at her baby bump, “Dada.” She proclaimed proudly, her brown eyes shining as she exposed her little teeth. Daphne grinned to wipe the drool from the corner of her lips.

The twins had yet to see Gator in prison, but that mainly had to do with the drive. Daphne and Gator had both agreed it would be safer for them to visit once the new baby was born, just in case she went into labor early again. 

“That’s the baby,” Daphne grinned, watching as Piper continued to poke at her, “Can you say baby?” She drew the syllables out slowly, watching the way Piper watched her in interest. Knox waddled over at that, squeaking loudly as he barreled his way past Piper to drag himself up onto Daphne’s lap.

“Daphne,” Ruby’s voice was soft as she approached, “You have a letter.” She said slowly, sounding hesitant as she spoke. Daphne sighed as she pulled a whining Piper onto her lap next, balancing her and Knox on her knees. 

“From who?” She asked curiously, knitting her eyebrows together as she wondered who would be writing to her. Gator couldn’t, not unless he had asked someone to do so. He wouldn’t do that though. He was too proud to ask for help. 

“Roy.” Ruby said at last, staring back down at the envelope. Daphne felt her pulse quicken just a little bit as she thought about him. He hadn’t been kind during the trial. Not to Gator, her or her family. They were all dead to him, that much was certain. 

“Oh,” Daphne paused, not knowing what to say, “You’re sure it’s from him?” She held a hand out, keeping the twins from smashing their heads together as they started to squirm around on her lap. 

“Yeah,” Ruby replied as she tilted the envelope in her fingers again, “Maybe we should just get rid of it.” She suggested a second later, making Daphne nod in agreement. She didn’t need the added stress right now. Not with her due date approaching.

“I’m sure it was something clever,” She said with a shake of her head, “It doesn’t matter anyways. If he’s not writing to his daughters he shouldn’t be writing to me.” She brushed it off, though she had a gnawing feeling that it was something bad. At least insulting. She didn’t want to see it right now. 

“You shouldn’t worry about it,” Ruby agreed as she put the letter up on the mantle of the chimney, “When do you go to see Gator again?” She asked as she took a seat at the opposite side of the couch, grinning as Piper’s face burst into joy.

“Dada!” She exclaimed happily, her brown eyes flashing as she looked around. Daphne pressed her lips together, thinking that her actions were cute but feeling bad at the same time. She brushed her fingers across Piper’s small back as she bounced her. 

“In the next few days,” Daphne told her honestly, “Dad is trying to see if he can be there for the delivery.” She mused gently, still desperately hoping that Gator would be able to come. It wouldn’t feel right without him being there. He deserved to meet his child right away. 

Things just didn’t seem to be working in her favor. All the meetings with the lawyers and officers seemed pointless, even meeting with her dad at times. He was this supposed great lawyer, but he was still unable to get these small strings pulled. She really thought he might be able to do so, considering how bad her last delivery went. 

“There’s nothing you can do?” She asked Bruce again, feeling defeated as she stared down at the papers in front of her. Knox wiggled around in her arms, more attached to her than usual. She supposed that he was soaking in his last few months of being the baby. 

“No,” Bruce sighed softly, “I’m sorry, but that’s out of my hands.” He tapped his fingers against his desk, looking rather stern about his answer. She was still curious about her father, wondering how he hadn’t gone down with the whole ordeal. Apparently he only stuck to the legal part of it and refused any and all true information about what Roy did. 

“He deserves to meet his child.” Daphne took a deep breath, trying to keep her bottom lip from wobbling as she pressed a quick kiss to the top of Knox’s head. He looked up at her curious, his brown eyes wide and reminding her of Gator’s. She missed looking at Gator. 

“He also has to do his time, just like everyone else. He can’t always get special treatment.” Bruce pointed out what she already knew. She felt guilty about thinking that his punishment should be less, but she also couldn’t help it. She cared about him. There was a difference. 

“I need him there.” She told Bruce softly, knowing that he had no idea of what she had gone through. Ruby’s pregnancies and deliveries had been easy and painless, in her own words. Daphne didn’t know what she would do if she was as weak as last time. She looked at Knox again, wondering if she’d even be able to hold him by the time she had the new baby. 

“Your mother will be there,” Bruce said dismissively, “I’m still working on a conjugal visit.” He said with a nod of his head, acting like it was supposed to make everything better. She paused, figuring that it might work more in their favor. Especially if she got to bring the kids. 

“Even if we’re not married?” She asked him nervously, knowing that the rules were strict. Technically, their state didn’t even allow conjugal visits but they were still trying. 

“We’ll try and work around it,” He replied a second later, “You might be looking at a shotgun wedding though.” He chuckled, looking amused as she shook her head at his words. Marriage was the least of her worries at the moment. 

“Great,” She muttered underneath her breath, “That’s just what I wanted to hear.” She replied slowly, giving Knox another quick squeeze as she tried no to stress over everything that was happening. She reminded herself that things were hard now, but it would be easier soon. Once she had Gator back. Everything would fall back into place.

///////////////////////////////////////////

“Should you be here?” Gator questioned her, touching the side of his glasses as she took her usual seat. She had to slightly straddle it, her protruding belly too large to sit facing the table. 

“What do you mean?” She asked him curiously, pressing her bangs out of her face before she rested her palm against her belly. The baby was moving, alert and kicking as she suddenly had a strong urge to pee again. That was the worst part about the drive here. 

“You’re just so close to being due,” Gator spit out quickly, “I don’t want something happening. Especially here.” He glanced around, looking like something bad would happen. She shook her head, pausing before she reached forward to take his hands gently in hers.

He was paler than usual and his hair was longer, shaggier despite her asking them to give him a haircut the previous week she had been here. She wondered if he had refused, or if they had just simply chosen not to do it.

He was getting around better with his walking stick, which she was glad about. She was thinking about suggesting a dog once he was free from jail, but she wasn’t yet sure how he’d feel about that. 

“Maybe it should happen here,” She teased, “You could cut the cord.” She told him, thinking that he’d at least be able to hold their baby right away. It killed her to think that he wouldn’t get the skin to skin contact that he had really loved with the twins. 

“With my teeth or-?” Gator asked her, mocking in return as he referenced the lack of sharp tools near them. She grinned, glad that he was doing well enough to keep his humor. She supposed that was a good sign. 

“If that works,” She laughed as she moved his hands around in hers, “I wanted to see you before that. Are you excited?” She asked him, hoping that he would be excited. She watched the way his features remained the same, stoic. She wondered if he was doing that on purpose, just trying to hide himself away so she couldn’t tell how he was feeling. 

“I am,” He told her gently, “I wish I could be there.” He sounded solemn that time but kept his gaze pointed towards the table. He had told her that he was seeing better out of one eye, but still saw nothing out of the other. She still wanted to know why he wouldn’t reveal who had done it. 

“Me too,” She responded, “But my mom will be there. Dad is gonna watch the kids with the help of Noelle and August.” She listed off the plan, hoping that things would go smoothly. All three of them were good with the kids, but they usually had Ruby or herself there to help. They’d be on their own that night. 

“God be with them.” Gator teased, his lips pulling into a smile as he turned in her direction. She stared at the slight stubble on his skin, how he had a fair mustache beginning to show. 

“Yeah,” She grinned in agreement, “I think I’m having a boy.” She said at last as she rubbed her hands over her stomach. Gator reached forward, dragging his palm across the table until he found her baby bump. 

“How do you know?” He asked curiously, tilting his head as he continued to drag his palm across her tummy. She grinned at the sensation, enjoying the way their baby fluttered about inside of her. 

“I don’t know,” She said softly, “Just a feeling.” She told him honestly. She didn’t know how to explain it. Her bump looked similar to last time, but she couldn’t base the way she carried the twins then to the baby now. It would be a surprise and she was fine with that. 

“As long as they’re healthy,” He replied gently, smiling at the way the baby kicked against his palm. She wrinkled up her nose, swearing the baby was purposely kicking at her bladder, “Just promise me you’ll be safe.” He said worriedly as he tilted his chin up towards her.

“I will,” She told him, knowing that there were a lot of things that could break that promise, “You be safe too. You’re going to have your hands full when you get out.” She reminded him, then pondered on it for a moment. They would have five kids to watch over soon. 

As June crept around she grew more and more nervous. She wasn’t sure she was ready for another baby, but it was too late to fret about that now. She was really scared about the delivery process. She didn’t know what to do if things went bad again. 

Her contractions didn’t seem as sudden, nor as painful as what she remembered them to be the first time around. Her water broke early in the morning, before anyone got too busy working on the ranch. It was hard leaving Piper and Knox behind for so long, but she knew she’d be back soon. She kept reminding herself that everything would be fine. She needed things to be fine.

“Another boy,” Ruby repeated with a smile, “Oh he’s so sweet. He looks like Knox did.” She was bent over the bed, looking down at the little baby in Daphne’s arms. He did look a lot like Knox. He had a full head of hair, darker like Piper’s. Although, Daphne was almost sure that his eyes were blue. 

“Gator liked the name Noah,” Daphne sniffled as she held her baby close to her chest, “He should be named Noah.” She decided at last, nodding her head as she slowly traced her finger across his little cheeks. 

Her next visit she brought Noah with her, but wasn’t able to tug around the twins with her. She decided she’d bring them on the next visit. It was too hard for her to tug around all three of them at once. Not to mention that Knox and Piper had been a little jealous of the new baby. Gator was also only allowed three visitors at once, no exceptions. She’d work around it somehow. 

“Hi,” Daphne spoke softly, trying to keep herself together as she carried Noah in his car seat, “He’s so excited to see you.” She told him, unable to hide her excitement as she set the little area up. 

“Yeah?” Gator turned up towards her, not quite in her direction but close enough, “How was it? How are you?” She moved close to him, not caring if the guards said anything as she quickly wrapped her arms around him. She squeezed him tightly, thinking about how desperately she missed him.

“Good. It all went well. No issues this time around. I delivered naturally too.” She replied, repeating what she had already told him earlier in the week on the phone. She kissed the top of her head, missing the smell of him. 

“That’s good,” He nodded as he held onto her, inhaling deeply. His voice sounded raw, “I missed you so much.” He mumbled into her chest, sounding just as beat up about the whole ordeal as she did. She felt the same way. 

“I missed you too,” She rubbed her nose against his cheek, sniffling as she pulled away, “Come on. I want you to meet him. He’s a big boy, just like Knox was.” She wiped at her eyes, trying to keep herself from falling apart as she looked back down at the sleepy infant. 

“How big?” Gator asked in excitement, moving around in his chair to better position himself. She paused for a moment, watching the way the guard flinched as if he was expecting Gator to do something bad. 

“Seven pounds, eight ounces,” She grinned as she gently unstrapped Noah from his car seat, “He’s a hungry one too. He latches well.” She grinned as she picked him up, watching the way he scrunched his body into a ball before she handed him gently to Gator. 

“Wow,” She watched, observing the way Gator’s features lit up as he held Noah close, “He is a big guy, isn’t he?” He stared down at him, moving his free hand to push his glasses up onto his long and unruly hair. He looked down at him, squinting his eyes like he was trying really hard to see him. 

“He sleeps really well,” She told him truthfully, “And he doesn’t cry a lot either. He’s a good baby.” She smiled, watching the way Gator blinked a few times as Noah snuggled deeper against his chest. 

“Wow,” Gator brushed his fingers across Noah’s features gently, making the infant’s lips curl into a soft smile, “He has my nose.” He observed, glancing up towards her direction as she nodded her head in agreement. She suddenly felt overfilled with emotions. 

“Yeah,” She covered her mouth, hoping he couldn’t see how she was struggling to keep it together, “Another little Knox. You guys could be triplets.” She laughed, more to herself as she thought about it. They could all dress up together one day. She thought that would be nice. 

“I can’t wait to see him,” He replied, then paused for a moment, “Like really see him.” He mumbled as he continued to trace his fingers across Noah’s features. Daphne thought it must’ve felt good, because Noah let out a little squeak and his lips curled up into a smile again. 

“You are,” She reassured him, sitting closer as he continued to snuggle Noah to his chest, “You picked out a really good name for him.” She told him seriously, liking the way Noah had fitted in. Even if the twins were a little jealous. She thought that they’d warm up soon enough. Especially with them all being so close in age. 

“I thought you picked the boy names?” He teased her softly, still looking content as he rocked Noah in his arms. Daphne paused as she held her phone up, taking a quick picture so she could print it out later. 

“This one felt right,” She said truthfully, “Besides I decided on the middle name. Alexander. Noah Alexander.” She grinned, liking that it matched with Knox’s name. She wasn’t sure if any other kids were in their future, but if there were she’d want to continue the trend. 

“Fits perfectly with Knox Andrew and Piper Sue.” Gator told her, speaking her thoughts as she pressed her palm against her cheek. She leaned forward, touching the tip of her finger against Noah’s long hair. 

“Piper Sue is really cute,” Daphne giggled as she stroked their baby’s forehead, “I’m glad you got to meet him.” 

2021

“Dada!” Piper proclaimed happily, wiggling closer so that she nearly crawled up onto the table. Daphne smiled apologetically as she held onto her, hating that there was a glass wall separating them this time.

Gator’s features still broke into a grin as he leaned forward, pressing his palm flat against the glass as Piper nearly thunked her head against it. Daphne held her back just a bit, then released her once she was safe.

“Hey guys,” Gator’s eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses as he spoke, though she could hear the emotion in his voice, “I missed you both so much.” He cooed, tilting his head against the phone as Piper leaned her face against the glass.

“Kiss.” Piper demanded, her eyebrows knitting together as she roughly pressed her pointer finger against the glass. Daphne sighed as she balanced Knox on her leg. He continued to cling to her, looking a little overwhelmed at the whole visit. 

“Not today, baby,” She apologized gently, “There’s glass here. Daddy can’t get the kiss right now, but it’ll be okay.” She used her free hand to rub Piper’s back, watching the angry look that stayed plastered on the toddler’s features. 

“No.” She said quickly, in the same manner she used when she got peas on her plate. Daphne rubbed at her back, knowing that this would be hard for them to understand.

“She sounds like you.” Gator teased, speaking up as he continued to leave his hand in the same spot. Piper kept poking at it intently, as if it might make the glass disappear. 

“Oh no,” She grinned as she bounced Knox on her knee, earning a little giggle from him as she kissed his cheek, “They have their daddy’s attitude.” She told him as she pushed the hair from Knox’s forehead.

“Hi,” Knox finally spoke up, his voice soft and quiet as he looked at Gator, “Daddy?” He turned his attention up towards Daphne, his brown eyes wide and filled with curiosity. She nodded her head reassuringly.

“Yeah, that’s daddy,” She smiled as she pointed towards Gator again, “Doesn’t he have the coolest shades?” She laughed as she held Knox up, letting him get a better view. He was a little longer than Piper and still heavier, but out of all of the kids he was the one who wanted to cuddle the most. She was sad that Gator was missing that. 

“Yeah,” Knox giggled as he balanced himself on Daphne’s thigh, “Want.” He grinned excitedly, turning his attention towards Piper who had begun to squeal in delight. She was in her own world, trying to match her little hand up with Gator’s. 

“You want them?” Gator grinned widely, “I’ll get you a pair when I get out.” He promised softly, looking relaxed and more calm as the time went by. Daphne smiled in agreement, excited that there was only one more year. They could get through it. 

“Did you enjoy the cake you got?” She asked him, wiggling her face between the two toddlers as they were both sitting up near the glass now. Knox had started to poke his finger against the exposed parts of Gator’s hand, as Piper now had two palms up against his. 

“I did,” Gator agreed, looking amused as he turned his attention towards them. He could see fairly clearly out of one eye now. The last time she came in he had moved in close, pointing out the freckles on her cheek. He wasn’t completely blind out of the other, but he could only make out various shadows and colors. Sometimes he could make out shapes, “It was really delicious.” He added, continuing to wiggle his fingers to get the twins to squeal.

“Good,” She said softly, wishing that there wasn’t a piece of glass between them. She wished that she could pack him up and take him home, “What have you been doing? Are the lessons going any better?” She asked, glad that he had finally taken up to learning braille. He still insisted that he didn’t need it, but she thought it would be helpful. She was trying to get the twins to learn as well.

She listened as he spoke, her heart hammering gently in her chest as she continued to think of how desperately she missed him. She kept reminding herself that it would be soon, but it didn’t make the time tick by any faster. She felt guilty on the days that seemed to feel like months, like she was missing out on how fast the twins were growing. On how Noah was growing. It was all hard.

That Halloween had been particularly hard to find something that everyone would like. Maude and Jessica finally settled on Elsa and Anna after a long battle of who would be who, leaving Daphne to decide that Noah would be a fairly good Olaf. Piper and Knox had grown obsessed with Mickey Mouse, so she felt like it would be a good idea to dress them as Minnie and Mickey. Only Noah had grown fascinated with their ears and kept trying to eat them. 

Hiding the Halloween candy had been even harder. Noah was now at the age where he was wobbling around so whenever Piper or Knox got into something, he wasn’t far behind. His eyes had changed since he was an infant, now matching the same hazel as the other two.

Peeling off the costumes had been another story. She nearly bought a whole other set, just to try and get Piper out of hers. She liked her polka dotted dress, her soft heels and mouse ears. There had been more than one morning that a tantrum had been thrown, just because she wanted a mouse nose and whiskers drawn onto her. 

“Oh,” Daphne paused as she leaned against the door, “Hi.” She blinked in confusion, wrapping her cardigan around her tightly as the brisk November air swept in. Nadine stood in front of her, all bundled up with a child that seemed a little older than Maude and Jessica. 

“Hi,” Nadine answered with a smile, “We brought cookies. Can we come in?” She asked kindly, looking unsure as if she wasn’t really sure why she’d come either. Daphne knew that she had been visiting Gator in jail, but she hadn’t expected her to come here. 

“Um, yeah,” Daphne nodded her head quickly as she moved out of the way, “Sorry about the mess.” She apologized quickly, looking at the scattered toys that lingered about. Ruby and Bruce had a cattle show this weekend. They had been kind enough to take Maude and Jessica with them. Daphne was sure she couldn’t handle the five on her own. Her three kids were ornery enough. 

“It’s okay,” Nadine replied gently, holding onto whom Daphne assumed was her daughter as she walked inside, “I’ve heard that you have your hands full.” She said with a laugh, glancing over as Piper took off chasing after Birdie. Daphne sighed gently.

“Gator?” She asked, locking the door behind her. She shivered as she adjusted to the warm air once again. Noah came forth, apparently deciding that he no longer needed his shirt. 

“Yeah,” She smiled as she nodded her head, “We saw him last week, didn’t we Scotty?” She handed the box of cookies to Daphne before she gave her daughter a soft squeeze. Scotty. Daphne liked that. 

“We did,” Scotty replied in agreement, “I told him about the different types of alligators.” She replied with a shy smile, glancing down as Noah began to tug at Daphne’s pants. She picked him up quickly, then reached for the discarded pacifier he’d thrown earlier. 

“Oh neat,” Daphne said with a smile, “Snakes are his favorite animal.” She told her gently, hoping that would give her some more ideas about what to speak to Gator about. She knew that he enjoyed the company. She wished she could be with him all the time. 

“Cool,” Scotty replied, “Are these my cousins then?” She looked at Noah eagerly, having the same look in her eye that everyone else did when they wanted to hold him. Noah was a nice mixture of Knox and Piper. He didn’t mind being held by others, but he still preferred to be held by someone that he knew. 

“Yeah,” Nadine nodded her head, “Looks like you have a bunch.” She laughed, moving out of the way as Piper came into the room once again. She was holding Birdie gently, triumphantly as the large cat seemed to have just given up. Daphne ensured that he wasn’t actually bothered before she let Piper get too far. 

“Three of them,” Daphne smiled, “Do you want to hold him?” She asked, motioning Noah out towards Scotty. 

“Can I?” She grinned in excitement, looking at Daphne and then back to her mother. Daphne nodded her head, smiling as she slowly passed the chunky baby off towards Scotty. 

“Sure,” She said gently, “He’s learning how to move, so he’s a little wiggly.” She warned her, knowing that Noah wouldn’t stay long before he had to be on the move again. 

“What’s his name?” Nadine asked, glancing down as Scotty balanced him in her arms. He had his eyebrows raised, his eyes glued to her as he appeared to be unimpressed. Like he was trying to decide if he liked them or not. 

“Noah,” Daphne smiled, “And this one is Piper and this is Knox.” She responded as she touched each of their hands. Knox jolted, looking surprised as he looked at the two strangers. 

“Hi.” Piper waved, grinning from ear to ear as she held up her little shaker toy. Knox wobbled away, whining as he gripped a hold of Daphne’s knee this time.

“He’s not very talkative,” She apologized, wincing as she bent over to pick Knox up, “That’s okay though, isn’t it?” She asked him as she kissed his cheek. He did like to talk, but only when he felt comfortable enough to do so. Knox nodded as he touched his sticky hands to her face. 

“He looks like Gator,” Nadine piped up, slowly holding out a finger until Knox worked up the courage to hold onto her and shake it, “He’s very strong. That’s good.” Knox giggled as he quickly pulled away, hiding his face in the crook of Daphne’s neck. 

“How have you been?” Daphne asked her, feeling odd to speak to her at all. It had been so long and she never really knew Nadine that well either. She rocked Knox back and forth as Scotty got dragged away by Piper, apparently becoming part of some sort of new game. 

“I’ve been really good,” Nadine answered with a smile, “And I go by Dorothy now. Or Dot. I think it suits me a lot better.” She told her as she played with the hem of her jacket. 

“Dot,” Daphne nodded her head in agreement, “That’s a really pretty name.” She told her truthfully, pulling out a seat so they could both sit down. Knox sighed dramatically as he dropped his head to her chest, signaling her that he was getting tired. 

“Your mom used to put on The Wizard of Oz all the time,” Dot replied slowly, “I guess I owe her for making me fall in love with the movie.” She said with a soft laugh, although Daphne didn’t think she owed them anything. She wished they could’ve done more to prevent her situation. Especially her parents. 

“She’s very particular about her tastes,” Daphne agreed with a smile, “Is there something I could help you with?” She asked a second later, sure that Dot had come here for some reason. 

“I just wanted to say thank you,” Dot said as she played with the sleeves on her cardigan, “Gator said you tipped the cops off.” Daphne blinked in surprise, feeling like she hadn’t done nearly enough. She had been so panicked about what happened to Gator that day that she had barely thought about anyone else.

“I tried,” She replied gently, “I didn’t know what else to do. I wish I had done more but he went missing and well-, it sort’ve took up everything else.” She did her best to explain, feeling guilty all over again. 

“I understand,” Dot nodded her head, “I would’ve been the same way if it was my Wayne. I’m glad you two got together. It’s sweet.” She smiled genuinely, making Daphne flush as she thought about how jealous she’d been of Dot’s relationship with Gator at one point. That had been such a long time ago. 

“Me too,” Daphne replied gently, “He’s doing a lot better you know? Now that his dad isn’t around.” She nodded her head, hoping that it would stay that way. Roy was like poison. Even though he was locked away, Gator did seem a lot more content. 

“He seems a lot happier,” Dot drew out softly, “You know if you need somewhere to live after, my neighborhood is super safe. Well, usually.” She added, then quickly shook her head like Daphne wouldn’t understand. 

“Yeah?” Daphne asked her softly, “I haven’t even thought about where we’d go yet.” She was a little surprised, sure that Dot was asking them to move nearby. That would be nice. Different. The fresh start that they probably needed. 

“We could be neighbors, all of us,” Dot suggested with a smile, “You know, I bet Wayne could even get Gator a job. He’s a car salesman.” She continued on, beginning to paint a nice picture in Daphne’s mind. She glanced at the kids, thinking that they would like that. 

“That would be something,” Daphne replied, feeling a little less lost about their future, “Thank you.” 

2022

“Okay,” Daphne checked over the twins again, ensuring that they were both clean and put together before they walked inside, “Do you remember the rules?” She asked them seriously, nearly wishing that she had gotten the backpacks with the leashes. She balanced Noah in her arms, although he was clearly wanting to get down and wiggle too. 

“No.” Piper said, grinning widely as she rocked from foot to foot. Knox turned his attention, his brown eyes wide like this was the first time Daphne had spoken to them. 

“The rules were to stay next to me,” Daphne repeated gently, “And to use our inside voices. Does that ring a bell?” She asked them, waiting until she had three little heads nodding back at her. 

“Uh huh.” Noah answered as he looked down at his siblings. More often than not, people mistook the kids as triplets. Sometimes they assumed that the twins were Knox and Noah and that Piper was the younger one. 

“Are you ready to see daddy?” She smiled at them as they waited at the door. It had been a long time coming, “He’s going to be so happy to see you.” She told them, thinking that he would be so excited to finally get his arms around them. 

“I miss him.” Knox answered as he pouted his little lips out. She had styled his hair back today, matching Noah once again. She thought that Gator would like it if they all mirrored him. 

“He missed you three too,” Daphne reassured as she held onto them, “Now daddy might be tired, okay? But that’s fine. We’re going to take him home.” She nodded her head again, but it was no use. They had all lost track of what she was saying.

They all snapped their heads up in unison at the sound of the door opening, then at the way the walking stick tapped against the floor. Daphne felt her heart race, her cheeks flush as she immediately moved forward. She could touch him, could hug him and hold him for as long as she wanted. 

“Daddy,” Piper’s little voice rang out, her voice chipper as she waddled her way forward, “Hi!” She exclaimed, beating everyone else as she threw her hands up dramatically. Noah wiggled down next, wobbling behind as Daphne realized for the first time that his shoes and socks were gone. 

“Hey,” He grinned from ear to ear, squatting down as he held his arms out towards them, “Oh wow. Look at how big you’ve gotten!” He squeezed both of them into a giant hug, rocking them back and forth for the longest time.

Noah began to babble about something, speaking faster than anyone could understand as Piper did her best to talk over him. Daphne nudged Knox along slowly, noticing the shy expression on his features. It had been some time since Gator had been able to really hold him. 

“Hewwo,” Knox breathed out shyly as he pulled his thumb from his mouth, “I miss you.” He kept his head down for a moment before he moved forward, only to be swept up by Gator as well.

“Look at all of you,” Gator mused as he held them tightly, giving each of them a forehead kiss, “I missed you all so much.” His voice rattled a bit as he spoke. His eyes were covered with the new pair of shades that they had gotten for him on his last visit. 

“Go home!” Piper exclaimed happily, slightly muffled by where she had her face buried into the crook of his neck. Daphne admired him for a moment, trying to decide the best way to wiggle her way into the hug.

His hair was longer than usual, floppy and grown out from the usual way he’d preferred it to be shaved. He claimed that they didn’t do it right in prison, but she had been wondering if he was enjoying the different way it felt. Especially since Roy couldn’t call him any names for having longer hair now.

“Of course,” Gator grinned as he stood, setting them down for a moment so he could grasp Daphne, “I missed you most.” He mumbled as he brushed his lips against hers. She clung to him for just a moment, her heart aching at how desperately she’d missed him too. It was fleeting as six little hands began to tug on them, forcing them apart. Daphne savored his warmth all the same, knowing she’d get him on her own later.

“I parked towards the front,” She responded as she picked Noah up, trusting him the least, “Do you have everything?” She asked him, glancing at the little clear bag he had on his side. Noah pressed his palms against Daphne’s shoulder, trying to get her attention as he babbled about something. 

“Right here,” He responded as he folded his walking stick up and took Piper in one hand and Knox in the other, “I’m ready.” Piper stared at where he put the stick, looking like she was plotting on how to get her hands on it later. 

As always, getting them into their car seats was a fight. Knox was always the most easy going about it, meanwhile Noah clashed and whined and kicked his feet the whole time. He did not

“Daddy, hold me.” Piper squeaked out once Daphne got into the driver's seat, her hair messy and nerves a little shot. She stared up into the rearview mirror, sure that she had heard wrong. 

“He can’t baby,” Daphne replied as she looked back at where Piper was struggling to break free, “You need to sit in your big girl seat.” Daphne explained, watching as Piper’s face began to grow red in frustration. She continued to whine, squirming about.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad?” Gator questioned, “Just for today.” He said slowly, almost like he was regretting speaking up. She nodded her head quickly, not even thinking about how he probably did want to hold them. 

“Okay,” She agreed softly, “Just this one time.” She told her, reaching back expertly to get her unhooked and moved onto Gator’s lap. She melted against him, beaming happily as she moved her little arms around his bicep. 

“Me too mommy.” Knox said so sweetly, flashing his big brown eyes as he held his hands out expectantly. Daphne shook her head gently as she got him unhooked, smiling at the way his face lit up as well. 

“You too,” She agreed as she moved Knox onto Gator’s lap next, “Just no fighting.” She told them seriously, watching the way Gator moved his gaze down to them. 

“You two don’t fight, do you?” He wrinkled his eyebrows, looking at them expectantly like there was no way they’d do such a thing. Knox grinned as he pulled his hand up to cover his lips, having the decency to at least look bashful. 

“No,” Piper giggled, smiling brightly to herself, “Not evew.” She said as she rested her head against Gator’s chest. He leaned down, holding onto them both tightly before rocking them back and forth. Daphne supposed it wasn’t a complete lie. Piper and Knox really didn’t fight. It was Noah and Piper that she had to keep her eyes on at all times. 

“Good,” Gator smiled as he rested his forehead against theirs, earning another round of giggles from them, “You’ve been really good for mama then?” He questioned them seriously this time, a small smile fluttering to his lips at their back and forth banter. 

“Always,” Knox piped up, a shy smile forming on his lips as he rested his cheek against Gator’s chest, “Mama good.” He said with a nod of his head. Daphne knew it wasn’t always good. Even trying to leave with them this morning had been rough. But suddenly she felt like it didn’t matter. 

“Me!” Noah whined, “Me! Me!” Daphne shook her head, not phased by him wanting to follow along with his older siblings at all. She pulled him free next, holding onto him carefully as he wriggled in her arms. Gator took him gently, then balanced him on his lap with Piper. Noah’s face scrunched up in delight, his eyes shining with joy.

“And you too, big guy,” Gator teased as he brushed his fingers against Noah’s exposed toes, “You’re huge too.” He commented, looking pleased at the way Noah giggled in response. 

“Fat.”

“Piper,” Daphne looked down at them quickly, “Don’t call your brother fat.” She told her quickly, pausing before she began to reverse out of the spot. Piper and Noah certainly had a harder time getting along. 

“It twue.” Piper replied in a matter-of-fact way, her top lip puckered up and her eyebrows raised as she looked at Daphne. Daphne sighed as she turned away, knowing that Piper could argue for hours. 

“That’s all you.” Gator commented, looking amused as he glanced towards her. He moved a hand between the two toddlers, trying to keep Noah from poking at Piper. Knox sat on his own, watching the other two in exasperation. 

“Yeah,” Daphne muttered as Piper continued to give her the same look, “I know.” She replied, turning her attention back to the road as Noah started to babble once again. He spoke fast, his words blending together as he gestured his arms about. Piper swatted at him, looking irritated once again. 

“You’re all perfect,” Gator grinned as he kissed their cheeks, pulling them close so they’d all likely forget their annoyances with the other, “I don’t ever want to let you go.” He inhaled deeply as he held onto them, making some of them squeal from his firm grip. 

“Okay,” Knox giggled as he snuggled closer, never one to deny cuddles, “I like that.” He proclaimed with a smile. Daphne watched them for a moment, shaking her head as she increased the volume on the stereo.

“I hope you like baby music,” She told Gator seriously as the song began to play, instantly gaining a chorus of cheers from the toddlers, “You’ll get used to it.” She grinned at his raised eyebrow, knowing that it would take some getting used to. She was fairly certain she listened to music for the kids, more than she listened to her own at this point. 

The drive seemed to be a lot shorter than before, which was more than fine with her. She was excited to bring Gator back, even if they no longer had their own home. They could figure that out later. 

Piper and Knox fell asleep on the way back, but Noah stayed wide awake and continued to coo and chatter about whatever was on his mind. Daphne knew that he was fighting sleep, doing whatever he could to avoid naps. He hated them, unlike the other two.

“Here,” Daphne paused as she picked up Knox, balancing him awkwardly in one hand before she reached for Piper next. The house wasn’t that far away. She was fairly certain she could carry them inside without dropping them, “I’ve got them.” She reassured him, although she could feel her arms struggling under their weight. She’d never fully felt like she got her strength back.

She only held them for a second before Gator took Knox from her arms. Noah had wiggled down, determined to move on his own as he waddled towards the front door. Gator grinned as he peered down at her, making her heart hammer roughly inside of her chest. She couldn’t believe it’d been so long since they’d been this close. 

She linked their fingers together, holding onto him tightly as they followed behind Noah. He was banging his fists on the door, glancing towards them in confusion like he didn’t fully understand why it wouldn’t open. Gator hesitated as he opened the door, looking like he was unsure about being back before he walked inside. Daphne followed closely behind, but made a beeline for the

“Hi, Gator,” Ruby greeted as she kissed both of his cheeks, “Oh, I’m so glad that you’re back.” She held onto him gently, smiling brightly as Noah zigzagged between all of their legs. 

“Me too.” He mused softly, still looking a little worried. He paused, crouching down low to greet Birdie who had slowly approached. He rubbed his head against Gator’s palm, purring at the attention. 

“Good to see you, son,” Bruce waved as he lazily handed Noah one of the discarded toys, “When are you going to propose to my daughter?” He asked, making Daphne’s features drop as she snapped her head towards him in horror. 

“Dad!” Daphne whined, face flushing as she shook her head, “Ignore him. There’s no rush.” She squeaked out, noticing that Gator’s face looked just as red as hers felt. 

“Three kids,” Bruce mumbled, “You’re not getting any younger.” He shook his head, looking like he didn’t know what the big deal was as he flicked his eyes back down to the book he was reading. 

“Bruce,” Ruby replied next, “You can’t just rush these things.” She shook her head, looking just as dismissive. Daphne balanced Piper in her arms again, hoping that this wouldn’t lead to another conversation about Hugh. She’d heard it all recently. 

“They rushed everything else,” He continued to mumble underneath his breath, “But what do I know.” Gator turned towards Daphne sheepishly, looking like he was about to say something before Noah began to tug at his left arm. He flinched, not expecting the movement.

“Ball.” Noah grinned happily, excited with his find as he held up the toy. Gator turned a little to better look at him, mirroring his smile as he took it in his free hand.

“Oh wow,” He drew out dramatically, “This is so cool, buddy.” He brushed his fingers through Noah’s hair, making him giggle before he took the ball from Gator’s hands once again. 

“Do you want to see the rooms?” Daphne asked him instead, hoping to make his transition a little easier. She didn’t want Bruce to badger Gator. She was sure he felt awkward enough. Gator nodded his head, using his free hand to take Noah’s as they headed towards the stairs. 

“Maude and Jessica will be home from school soon,” Ruby spoke up, “They’re excited to see you too.” She told him and Daphne nodded along quickly, knowing that they had missed him a lot too.

“They sleep down here,” Daphne pointed out, taking her time to show everything to him, “Piper has her own room at the moment. I moved the boys in together.” She pulled Piper’s door open, showing off the Tinker Bell themed room before she let Piper relax in her bed. 

“Yeah?” Gator grinned, watching as Noah rushed forward into his shared room, “Wow. This is where you live?” He teased him, still holding onto Knox as he looked around. The boys had agreed upon staying with the farm theme, although they were all currently obsessed with Bluey. 

“Mhm,” Noah smiled as he moved towards the bookshelf, “Mama, mama.” He whined as he pointed, standing on the tips of his toes as if he could grow and reach it. He furrowed his eyebrows together tightly and pouted out his bottom lip. 

She walked forward, picking up the toy car he was wanting. His little brown eyes lit up in joy as he held it to his chest, doing his best to mimic the sound of the engine roaring as he looked up at her.

“Thank you.” He told her, the th sound making an f instead. He waddled back towards Gator, grinning happily. Gator paused as he set Knox down into one of the beds. He looked at the car Noah was holding, grinning as he roughly clawed at his pants.

“Is that your favorite toy?” Gator asked as he picked him up. He smiled as he kissed the side of Noah’s cheek, while Noah showed the little red car off.

“Mhm, no,” Noah answered thoughtfully as he stared down at the car, twisting it between his chunky fingers, “I like.” He nodded his head, looking proud of his answer as Gator bounced him in his arms again.

“He’s a silly one,” Daphne smiled as she brushed her fingers across Noah’s exposed toes, “He still hates naps and bananas.” She pointed out, thinking that it was funny that the twins enjoyed the other two things quite a bit.

“Well how about that,” Gator grinned, watching as Noah intensely began to drive the car against his shoulder, “So, are you going to show me your room or do I have to work for it?” He asked, his lips curling into a smirk as Daphne felt herself flush once again.

“Mhm, I guess,” She grinned playfully as she stood on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek, “Not much changed, not really. I kept a lot of things from our room.” She told him honestly. Her former childhood room now reflected the room that they’d built together. She liked it.

“Did you go through my things?” He asked hesitantly as he looked around the room. She rested her hands on her hips as she shook her head.

“We just tried to quickly move it all without unpacking,” She told him as she glanced around, “I tried to keep up with washing most of them, but then it started to not smell like you.” She replied honestly, smiling sheepishly as she dragged her fingertips against his dresser. 

“Cheesy,” He smiled softly as he watched her, “I really thought you’d kick me out.” He said a little softer as he turned his attention back to Noah, who had started making car noises again.

“That’s stupid,” She said with a laugh as she held onto his waist, “I love you too much for that. Besides, I spent way too many years pining over you. You’re stuck with me.” She nodded her head, liking the way his cheeks turned pink. Just a little bit.

Noah crashed not long after that, the events of the day finally catching up to him as he drooled and slumbered into the crook of Gator’s shoulder. Daphne didn’t protest as Gator held him the whole time, knowing that he was more worried about bonding with him since he didn’t get the same amount of time with him. 

“So we can look at different areas to live,” She started to explain, pulling up the tablet at the different places she’d been living at, “We can get you on for disability, then we can find-,” 

“I don’t need that.” Gator interjected as he sat up a little bit from his position. Noah barely stirred, but Knox and Piper both turned towards him in interest. They were like little ducklings, just a few steps behind him no matter where he went.

They had retired to their room to rest before dinner. She had brought the twins along once they had woken up as they were still excited about Gator being back home. They had a million questions and both of them had to show off their favorite toys, blankets and stuffed animals before Gator had been allowed to sit down. 

“Huh?” She looked at him curiously, “It’s nothing bad. It would just be to help.” She told him seriously, 

“I can see from this eye,” He told her seriously, “My bad one I can make out certain shapes and colors. It’s not that bad.” He shrugged his shoulders, almost irritated that she had even suggested that. She watched him for a moment, knowing at the moment that neither of them had any sort of income. 

“It would just be for support,” She told him gently, “We could use the money.” She added a second later, hoping that he might not be so stubborn about it. She didn’t know what places would really hire him. Not because of his sight, but because of his past. 

“I don’t want it as long as I can work.” He replied, smiling brightly as Piper passed him a fake tea cup. He held up his pinky finger as he pretended to drink it, earning a giggle from her. 

“Okay,” She told him gently, “So what would you be doing?” She asked him, knitting her eyebrows together as she tried to get a sense of what his plan was. She hadn’t spent the past few years completely out of work. She’d tried a few different places, but each time it seemed that she got shooed away because of what Gator had been involved in. This town didn’t want them. They just needed out. 

“Maybe I could do something with welding,” He replied gently, “Or truck driving. If they let me do that.” He mused off, making her shake her head as she continued to scroll on her tablet, glancing at the houses that were listed. Bismarck wasn’t too far away. 

“You’re funny,” She smiled as she curled up to his side, “Especially if you think you can go anywhere without me again.” She told him seriously. She didn’t want to lose him ever again. 

“I’d pack you all up into the truck,” He teased, “It’d be a little tight.” He said with a laugh, making her grin as she thought about it. She was sure that the kids would find a way to be pleased. “Just a bit,” She agreed with a smile, “Wayne said you always have a place to start with him.” She suggested slowly, wondering if Dot had said anything else about it to him. She thought that it sounded fun. Her parents had even said they’d move too, just for the extra support. 

“I don’t want to rely on him.” Gator brushed her off as he began to thread his fingers through Noah’s hair. The youngest boy sighed, stretching out a little bit before he curled back up into Gator’s chest. 

“You wouldn’t be,” She told him as she sat up to look at him better, “You’d be working underneath him. And the guy is super nice.” She told him, knowing that Wayne wouldn’t think that at all. She’d met him now a few times. 

“I’m nice.” Gator said as he furrowed his eyebrows together, smiling as the twins started to clamber over towards him. Piper stalled, pouting as she realized that Knox was currently blocking her way.

“The nicest,” Daphne corrected with a smile, “And we’re so lucky to have you.” She told him truthfully, feeling like her world was slowly coming back into place. 

///////////////////////////////////////////////

Dinner was a mess of pasta sauce and thrown noodles, plenty of leftovers for Birdie to munch up off of the floor. He was good at grabbing it, no matter how hard Daphne tried to keep the kids from feeding him. They always found a way.

Gator seemed to enjoy bath time, even when Noah started to whine and cry about having to actually get into the water. Although he quickly grew fascinated by the rubber duck that Gator kept booping against his nose. The bubbles from the tub seemed never ending by the time it came to dry them off.

She let him take the reins in laying them down, enjoying the tight way he held onto them and the gentle way he kissed their foreheads. She wondered if he knew just how good of a dad he was. He was much better than his father. Then even hers. She was proud of him. 

She liked that Gator was able to bond with their children again, but she was even happier once they were asleep and she got him all to her own. She curled up behind him on the bed, threading her fingers through his chest hair as she buried her smile into his skin. 

She brushed her lips against his gently, thinking of how desperately she had missed him. She moved her fingers across his shoulders, soaking in the feeling of his warmth as she deepened the kiss. 

She slid her tongue against his slowly, pressing the tips of their tongues together. He sighed against her mouth as he brushed his fingers across the curve of her cheek, slowly turning so he could face her better. 

He still tasted the same, still melted in a similar manner against her mouth. She cupped the side of his cheek, lightly pressing her thumb into his flesh. His tongue continued to swirl against hers, dragging slowly before he flicked it against the roof of her mouth. 

He dragged his palms against her sides, touching her gently as she pulled him closer to her. She pressed her lips against the corner of his mouth, then traveled further down his neck as the moans from his lips grew louder.

He sat up a bit, molding his mouth against hers once again as she dragged her fingers against the hem of his pajama pants. She could feel his cock hardening against her hip, making her smirk as she slowly began to grind her hips down against him.

“Fuck,” He hissed out as he brought his palms against her waist, “Missed you.” He mumbled again as she peered down at him, grinning at the longing look he held. She crawled on top of him slowly, bringing his hands to her hips as she slowly pulled his pants down.

“Missed you too,” She told him softly, biting down on her bottom lip as she wrapped her fingers around his thick cock. She stroked him slowly, feeling her own desire burning between her legs as she watched the way he rocked his hips forward, “Thought about you so much.” She admitted, rolling her hips forward as she continued to drag her hand up and down the length of his cock.

“Yeah?” He whispered out huskily, his lips parted and cheeks pink as he continued to stare up at her, “Did your pretty tang miss me?” He teased, making her eyelashes flutter as he began to rub his thumb against her throbbing clit.

“Wanna feel for yourself?” She giggled softly, her body alighting into sparks as she pulled her panties aside slowly. She brought his long fingers against her wet folds. She whined at the feeling, grinding herself against his digits as a hazy expression grew over his features.

“Little slut,” He teased, his voice raspy as he continued to press his fingers against her slick pussy. He chewed on his bottom lip as he stared up at her, “Wanna ride my cock?” He questioned, looking a little desperate as he wiggled himself back onto the bed.

She grinned, enjoying the way his eyes stayed locked onto her as she slowly pressed his pink tip against her fluttering hole. She gaped at the feeling, rolling her hips forward so his cock slowly slid inside of her.

She moaned at the feeling, completely in awe at the sensation of being filled by him once again. Her walls slightly burned at the intrusion before she quickly welcomed him, sinking down on him slowly as the pleasure shot through her body.

“Daphne,” He groaned as he took a hold of her hips, his fingers digging into her flesh as he slowly lifted her an inch forward before he pressed her roughly back down. She whimpered in awe of being filled full of him, “Jesus, fuck.” 

She pressed her hands against the side of his face, gently holding him as she raised his head slowly. She brushed her lips against his gently, savoring the taste of his groans against her mouth as she adjusted to the stretch of his cock. 

“Feels good,” She whimpered as she slowly began to gain a rhythm, her mind fuzzy and eyes closing as she held onto him. She felt a cry leave her lips at the sensation of his cock pressing against her bundle of nerves, sending tingles of pleasure all through her body, “Gator! Oh God.” She whined, unsure of how someone could make her feel so good.

His fingertips continued to dig into her skin as he ghosted a series of kisses along her mouth, slowly thrusting his hips up with her movements as she moved her palms to his shoulders. She held onto him tightly, feeling her own moans rolling off of her tongue as she continued to rock herself along the length of his cock. 

She savored the drag of his cock, the way he curved and throbbed inside of her spongy walls. Her palms grew warm against his skin and her hips ached from how tightly he was gripping her. She didn’t push him away, rather encouraged him as she pressed herself down harder against his thick cock.

“You’re so pretty,” He mumbled as he brought his hands up to her tits, squeezing them in his hands as she continued to rock against him, “So fucking beautiful.” He grunted, his eyebrows furrowing together as he began to thrust up into her harder. She whined, enjoying the growing sound of their bodies meeting as it filled the room.

She found it hard to answer, her pussy clamping down around him as she felt another rush of pleasure rush through her body as he began to roll her nipples between his thick fingers. Her body felt on fire as his hands continued to wander over the curve of her body, like he was memorizing her. 

“You’re pretty,” She whispered softly between her gasps, enjoying the way his eyes widened and a fresh flush spread over his skin. She leaned down again, switching her position just a bit as she pressed a sloppy kiss against his parted lips. He groaned, moving his hands to her backside as he rutted up into her lazily, “Oh, fuck.” She whined, clinging to him as she felt her orgasm approaching. 

He held onto her tightly, rocking his cock deep inside of her as she came with a cry. She whined as her forehead fell against his, her moans loud as her walls fluttered around his thick girth. She clung to him, her skin sweaty and breathing labored as she felt her strength slipping away.

“Fuck, fuck,” Gator cursed against the side of her cheek, sending shivers down her ear as he thrusted up roughly. His movements began to stall, his sounds more desperate as he bottomed out inside of her, “Jesus, fuck.” He cursed, his cock throbbing as he came inside of her.

She whimpered, clearly knowing that they should be safer but for the time being she didn’t care. She had missed him too much to bother being worried about it at the moment. She rested against him, her body shaking as he began to brush his lips against the side of her neck. 

She panted softly, enjoying the sensation of him breathing against her skin as they both came down from their high. She brushed her fingers through his long locks, thinking about how lucky she was to have him. Even through their mistakes and hardships. They were meant to be.

Life was good.

[scarlettlillies]

Hetalia- Selfoss

What's this? Lilly posting a new fic so soon after the last one? It's more likely than you think.

This was an old Nordipalooza submission from 2020 that I ended up discarding during the event. The prompt from this was 'Sweden, Iceland - Folklore'. Back when I was researching for this prompt, I ended up on a tourism website that talked about how a town called Selfoss was supposedly haunted by ghosts so I knew immediately that's where I wanted to set the story. I was having a hard time getting started though and after two incomplete drafts, I tossed them and picked a different prompt. This weekend I finally decided to finish them off.

Sweden and Iceland sadly don't have a lot of interaction but I get the feeling that Ice is most comfortable with Sweden just on the sole fact that he doesn't treat him like a child. Therefore he gets to be a bit more relaxed and not always cool and reserved like he is with the rest of the Nordics. I hope Hima expands on their relationship in a future strip.

Also, I hope I'm not the only person who headcanons both Ice and Nor as photographers! They've got some of the best places for a hobby like that. :D

If you'd prefer to read this fic on Ao3 instead, you can check it out here.

Hope you all enjoy it! Summary: During a trip to see the northern lights near the Icelandic town of Selfoss, Sweden couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was being watched.

----

No matter how much he tried, Sweden couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was being watched.

He questioned if it was all in his head. Hundreds of people, mainly avid photographers, were gathered here by the river near the town of Selfoss to catch a glimpse of the northern lights. Iceland stood across from him and didn’t seem to have a care in the world. He was too focused on setting up his equipment and running a few test shots with his camera pointed toward the skies. The boy had a good head on his shoulders. If anyone could sense if something was off, it would be him.

Yes, it was definitely all in his head. The ghost museum they had visited in Stokkseyri must have let his imagination get ahead of itself.

The show of lights slowly began and Sweden tried to keep his mind occupied by splitting his attention between the skies and his fellow Nordic. Sitting on a reddish-brown fleece blanket, Sweden felt over-dressed with his heavy navy blue peacoat and black leather gloves. After leaving the museum earlier in the day, he was struck with a chill that he couldn’t shake off. Meanwhile, Iceland was dressed lightly in a brown spring jacket with no gloves at all. Almost everyone else wore similar clothing.

“Aren’t ya cold?”

“Not at all. I’m surprised you are though. Don’t tell me you can’t handle a little cold in your old age Sví!”

Sweden rolled his eyes but the comment got the both of them chuckling. With just the two of them together, Iceland seemed more laid-back and less hesitant to hide his playful side. He’s sure Iceland doesn’t mean to, but Sweden noticed over the years that Iceland would quickly become uncomfortable and reclusive whenever Denmark and Norway (and to some degree Finland too) became overbearing with their ‘big brother’ personalities. He just wanted to be treated like an adult alongside the rest of them.

He understands that well. After all, Denmark did it to him when they were small children—despite the three of them frequently arguing over who was the oldest. Those arguments died the moment Iceland entered their lives.

So Sweden does just that. He still dotes on him—albeit more subtly than the others do. But in return, he is rewarded to hear more in-depth things about Iceland’s life. Just on this trip alone, he has heard of the late-night calls with Indonesia, the camping trip in Hiiumaa with the Baltics, and the coffee dates with Liechtenstein in Vaduz. He felt grateful that Iceland could trust him like that.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

The colours quickly grew more intense. Shades of green, blue, and purple danced across the sky and their colours reflected against the river below. Loud gasps of delight erupted from the crowd on the ground. Iceland was mesmerized by the sight. Even though he had seen this millions of times, it never failed to put his mind at ease. Any worries he had about his life would immediately wash away. With a hand placed on his left shoulder, Sweden surprised Iceland by coming up close at his side. The average person would never be able to tell, but he could see that tiny grin form on Sweden’s face. He was just as ecstatic to see the lights as he was.

“Gettin’ some good shots?”

“Yeah,” he nodded before he returned his focus to the camera. “The multicoloured lights always make the best shots.”

Sweden tucked his hands into his coat pockets. He watched him work and noted how meticulous Iceland was with each shot. Seeing him like this reminded him so much of Norway, right down to the focused but elated expressions. Norway was also a photographer who loved to shoot landscapes just like him. But Sweden would never dare say that out loud. Iceland would quickly get annoyed whenever comparisons arose between him and his brother, even as a joke.

We’re nothing alike. Don’t say dumb things like that.

He kept his comments to himself and continued staring up at the skies. He didn’t need to ruin the perfect day they’d had together.

The lights had lasted for around twenty minutes when dark clouds began rolling through. Everyone in the crowd knew it was their sign to call it a night. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. The camera Iceland had been using throughout their trip had begun flashing a warning that the battery was running low. Sweden helped him pack his equipment and get the bags into Iceland’s trunk. The blanket Sweden used earlier remained unfolded and got tossed into the backseat. With everything packed, they were ready for the hour’s drive back to Reykjavík.

But there it was again. That feeling that someone was watching. Sweden was so certain about it.

“What’s wrong?” Iceland asked. Sweden was leaning against the open passenger door as he searched around the pitch-black landscape. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, just that it was something.

“We’re bein’ watched…”

“Huh? From what?”

“Dunno but—”

Laughter.

A child’s laughter.

It was such a high-pitched noise that rang inside his ears. He hated that he couldn’t see where it was coming from. There were no streetlights in this part of the country. The only light visible came from the inside of Iceland’s car and the headlights of others as many began driving away from the scene and onto the main road.

Sweden’s frustrations hit a boiling point. He reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a black flashlight. He slowly made his way toward the river. Iceland tried to call him back however Sweden ignored his pleas. A frustrated sigh fell from his lips, “I'm never taking you to that ghost museum ever again,” He had no choice but to follow behind him.

Sweden hadn’t noticed earlier that the water was much lower than he had anticipated. Boulders of various shapes and sizes poked through the water, especially along the shoreline. He swung his flashlight around and didn't see anything out of the ordinary. The mysterious sounds of laughter from before had also disappeared. Was it his mind playing tricks on him again?

“Did ya happen to hear a child laughin’ earlier?”

“A child?” Iceland pondered, “The crowd was mostly full of photographers but I’m sure I saw a few families with small kids there. Maybe it was that you were hearing?”

Sweden made a disgruntled grunt as he appeared furious with himself. He hated how out of character this was for him. He could never recall a moment in time when he acted this paranoid before.

But on the furthest rock to his left, his flashlight picked up something stuck against one of the boulders. The two men investigated and discovered it was a small grey blanket. They had wondered if it was forgotten by one of the families from earlier. Upon closer inspection though, they noticed it was covered in mud, the material looked faded, and the bottom tip of the blanket had been submerged into the water. It was clear it had been here for some time.

“Sví, we should go. There’s no one here,” Iceland said as he tugged on Sweden’s arm. “We have a long drive ahead of us.”

It looked as if Sweden had finally come to his senses and the two men walked back to the car. But Iceland took one more look over his shoulder. Near the river, a small child stood there in a white gown. A short blond boy, possibly no older than three, hugged the dirty grey blanket that Sweden discovered earlier. Iceland put a finger to his lips and shook his head. The little boy’s smile turned to an angry frown and disappeared towards the water.

Iceland was open to sharing many things about his life with Sweden. But the stories of the spirits that inhabited this part of his home were not one of them. No one needed to know he could see things that mortals could not. He was determined to keep it that way.

[thebroccolination]

✴︎intro post✴︎

Greetings! I’m Key (she/they), and Kiranokira on AO3. I’m an adult, and I often post and reblog content for adults.

I’m a fic writer who dabbles in editing and making long, unhinged meta posts on my hyperfixations. It’s a good time for people who like that kind of thing. Welcome!

Currently, I’m merrily entrenched in the Land of Queer Thai Series and have been since 2020. I’m also soul-deep in the Hellverse of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss.

As you’ll quickly find out, my favorite actors are Boun and Krist, and my current reasons for living are KristSingto’s sanctioned RPF series The Ex-Morning and Boun’s “I kinda just want to have an excuse to chew on Prem in a socially acceptable venue” vampire series Revamp.

My Pretty Firm Top 15 Thai QL Series as of August 29, 2024 Are:

1. Be My Favorite (2023) 🔮 2. The SOTUS Trifecta (2016-2018) ⚙️ 3. Until We Meet Again (2019) 🧶 4. Triage (2022) 🚑 5. Dark Blue Kiss (2019) 🐻‍❄️ 6. Between Us (2022) 🥦 7. Something in My Room (2022) 🎭 8. Cherry Magic (2023) 🍒 9. Not Me (2021) 🏍️ 10. Manner of Death (2020) 🔫 11. Cutie Pie (2022) 💍 12. GAP (2022) 👠 13. I Feel You Linger in the Air (2023) ⏳ 14. The Eclipse (2022) 🌗 15. He's Coming to Me (2019)

1. Be My Favorite (2023) 🔮 2. The SOTUS Trifecta (2016-2018) ⚙️ 3. Until We Meet Again (2019) 🧶 4. Triage (2022) 🚑 5. Dark Blue Kiss (2019) 🐻‍❄️ 6. Between Us (2022) 🥦 7. Something in My Room (2022) 🎭 8. Cherry Magic (2023) 🍒 9. Not Me (2021) 🏍️ 10. Manner of Death (2020) 🔫 11. Cutie Pie (2022) 💍 12. GAP (2022) 👠 13. I Feel You Linger in the Air (2023) ⏳ 14. The Eclipse (2022) 🌗 15. He's Coming to Me (2018)  👻

I also never really leave any fandom I’ve loved, so an incomplete list of things you may see reblogged here is as follows:

Word of Honor (Millennial power couple of exhaustion/rage)

Guardian (AKA the novel whose sloppy protagonist the author definitely forgets on purpose when updating her friends about her children)

Yuri on Ice (if we never get anything else I’ll still be profoundly grateful for what we did get)

Boku no Hero Academia (the only time I’ve been equally obsessed with two ships featuring the same character)

Merlin (idiots /affectionate)

Voltron (klance /ominous)

Ossan's Love (makiharu /simpery)

ON ASKS/FIC REQUESTS: Feel free to send me asks or fic requests! I always have a very, very long list of WIPs, but if my brain chemicals react to something strongly enough, I’ve been known to drop everything and write the new shiny thing. (Chances are higher if it’s a one-shot so the happy chemicals aren’t snuffed out by the guilt chemicals.)

Thank you for dropping by, and may you have at least one reason to smile today.

[ebi-hime]

I felt like writing something a little more ✨introspective✨ than usual, so here we go haha >_<;; So! This year I was able to release two projects in relatively close succession: Fragile Feelings (1st image; a cute yuri VN about a teacher and a nurse) and With Eyes of Ice (2nd image; a dark otome-inspired VN set in Iceland which has a bunch of pretty boys who Suffer). Though I released both of these stories in 2023, I actually wrote them all the way back in mid 2020. I wrote them back to back, actually: Fragile Feelings first, and With Eyes of Ice right after. I liked both scripts a lot, so i decided to turn them both into VNs... But working on VNs can be pretty difficult, even with very small teams like mine, as the people involved can be busy with other things, priorities change, etc, etc... And, in the case of With Eyes of Ice, I might've pulled the character artist off the project for 1.5 years to work on a self-indulgent BL VN about my two best boys, Yuel and Tavi, when Eyes of Ice was almost at the end of production hahaha oops....... I was working on these two VNs on and off for such a long time, I was wondering if I would be able to actually finish them... So, I'm very relieved that I did get them both done after all, and they both shaped up to be projects I'm proud of! I think everybody involved worked really hard; I love how they both look and sound. The character artists, background artists, UI artists, and composers all worked very hard, and I think these two projects are among the prettiest and most polished I've worked on! Now, I tend not to talk about the financial side of VN dev too much (because it's not much fun haha), but for all of the money and time invested into these projects, they weren't wholly 'worthwhile' endeavours. It's too soon to tell with Fragile Feelings, since it literally only just came out, but With Eyes of Ice hasn't really been doing so great sales-wise. It might have something to do with the fact that it's a weird quasi-otome thing which doesn't 100% fit the genre, but it's also prooooobably related to the fact I didn't talk about the story at all until like, 4 months before I'd finished it, despite having been working on it for 3 years already... Just maybe haha 💦💦 It's always a bit unfortunate when something you sink so much money, time, and love into doesn't get much attention, but that's the reality of VN dev. Making commercial VNs is pretty difficult already, because commissioning all the art + music can be quite pricey, and the sales tend to be rather low. Profit margins are slim already (and it's not uncommon for devs to fail to turn a profit at all), so I'm not wholly surprised. It's unfortunate, but I don't regret making With Eyes of Ice. I still love this story and these characters a lot, and I'm glad I stuck with it and finished it, even if it took me a few years! 💪

I'll probably continue to write weird stories which don't necessarily have a lot of appeal in the future, because that's what makes me happy, so I apologise in advance if I put out more stories which aren't too interesting to large swathes of people... But I'm very grateful for everybody who has offered me their support over the years! Some of my proejcts are successful enough (Blackberry Honey, Sweetest Monster, The Language of Love) that I can afford to invest my time and money into more niche things without having to worry toooo much about turning over a profit. I wouldn't be able to tell the stories I want to tell without all of you, even if it can take me a while to finish things up, and I'm very appreciative! I guess that's about it haha 💦💦💦 Thank you! 💙

[cassiecatnip]

if i knew it was your last day i would have taken you out for ice cream, if i knew it was your last day i would have held your paw more tightly, all the love, the memories, they all are so dear to me, a mate for my soul, so proud and true, for what i wouldn't give to live another life with you 🫶🌌🐶

I love these photos @ryder0g :')

Ryder and Aesop trip-sat me on one of my most difficult and healing mushroom journeys I've had at the end of 2020. I felt my life playout like a movie and had unlocked more empathy and compassion for those who may have hurt me in this life than i can imagine, I after seeing my past, felt like i could visualize myself, and those that i had become negatively entangled with, whom i was deeply affected by, i visualized them as their most healed selves and us all living in peace, it moved me deeply and i sobbed while being held by these precious boys. I was listening to a beautiful curated album called 'music for mushrooms' by @eastforestmusic

this experience, and other moving ones like it, i believe has led me in right direction to alchemize all the pain I've gone through and turn it into something bigger and better than i could have fathomed while in my darkest times. The power of these medicines, and the power of love and being vulnerable with yourself and others, can heal so much. I'm so forever grateful to be here in this life and feeling deeply how temporary it all is in its current state. Everything we do matters and we will never be able to relive this life or these circumstances, and we can do so much to help each other feel less alone. This world needs our light. Meeting these 2 amazing souls in this photo was a spur of the moment decision, but there was something pulling me to them so strongly and I cherish you infinitely.

[dcbbw]

Hazy Shades of Winter

Happy 2023, tumblrs! Or as I like to say, “Welcome to 2020-3,” which means Year 3 of the Year 2020. The FIRST DAY of the NEW YEAR, I tested positive for Covid. For the second time within a year. I’m grateful both cases have been relatively mild, and I remain (somewhat) functional.

My first fic for 2020-3 is a collection of drabbles comprised of the many Winter OTP asks sent to me by the lovely @neotericthemis​. I could’ve made it easy on myself and simply answered Person A/Person B, but I’m extra and frankly, I wondered if I could make coherent, cohesive stories from the asks … and here we are.

Not beta’d, and it’s mostly written, proofed and edited by Covid. You’ve been warned. MS Editor rates this story 99% error-free. Please excuse any and all typos, missing/extraneous words, and/or grammatical errors.

I hope all who read this enjoy it. THANK YOU to those who comment, like, and/or reblog; it is appreciated more than you will ever know.

Pairings in this story (these stories): Liam x Riley; Liam x Maxwell

Rating is M for Mature (it’s me, and better to err on the side of caution)

All characters (except Fric and Frac) belong to Pixelberry

Song Inspo: Silent Night, DRM

Word Count:4,779 

Discontent Liam x Riley

Who wants to cosy up to the fire?

Who wants a kiss under the mistletoe?

Who is bad at ice skating and keeps falling on their butt?

The doors to the monarchs’ private suite quietly shut behind the King as he entered the darkened quarters. A fire burned in the hearth, embers popping and hissing as the blaze consumed the logs. The heat warded off the chill from the snow and ice outside.

It was a centuries-old palace; windows were drafty despite upgrades to the heating units.

His eyes adjusted to the dimness, and his gaze found Mara dozing fitfully in a wingback armchair. As he silently padded across the carpet, he saw his wife’s prone form on the settee in his peripheral vision.

Her white satin sleeping gown was yellowed by the firelight; a blanket was bunched at her feet. Her soft snores reminded him of a kitten purring.

Mara started at feeling the gentle shove upon her shoulder; her eyes blinked open, and she looked sheepishly at her employer. Liam reassured her with a small smile.

“You’re fine,” he whispered. He tilted his head in his wife’s direction. “Did Riley eat tonight?”

The sentry nodded affirmatively. When she spoke, her tone was hushed. “Pasta. She made sure a plate was put aside for you. It’s in the refrigerator.”

“What did she … drink?” His voice tripped over the last word.

“Wine. Just one bottle tonight.”

Liam nodded slowly, staring at a sleeping Riley before speaking. “You go get some sleep, Mara. I’m here now.”

Mara stiffly rose from her seat. “I’ll put the alarm on my way out.”

“Thank you,” the King replied as he made his way to the sofa, removing shoes and jacket along the way.

He paused to pull the throw up over Riley’s body before settling into a corner of the divan, gently lifting his Queen’s head so it now rested in his lap. January moonlight eked through partially closed curtains as his gaze trained on the fire.

There was a time when Riley would be the first one awake, dressed, and ready to indulge in outdoor winter sports, particularly ice skating despite the fact she was terrible at it. She would hit Liam over his head with pillows until he grudgingly woke up and joined her and their friends at the pond on the North Lawn.

Her eyes would widen with fright as she wobbled and stumbled onto the ice; they would fill with rueful acceptance and laughter when she inevitably fell. But they would close in blessed relief when Liam’s strong arms wrapped around her, steadying her balance as he guided them around the lake.

Now, she fretted that all the falls contributed to her infertility, despite assurances from doctors and her husband that it wasn’t true.

Christmas was their favorite holiday. Riley liked to say winter was a time of rest and rejuvenation; that the world slowed down and people were kinder, gentler when the nights were the longest. Of all her duties as Queen, her favorite project was the annual holiday decorating of the Grand Foyers at both the Palace and Valtoria. She hung mistletoe beneath every doorway, and over their bed as not-so-subtle hints to her husband to kiss her.

As if he needed reminders.

On Christmas Eve, she would enter their bedchambers naked and covered in faux mistletoe; the sun would be rising before Liam removed all the green leaves from her body.

His fingers idly combed through her hair as he recalled that his Queen had not hung one mistletoe over the holiday season. Liam could not remember the last time he and his wife had touched each other intimately.

God, he missed her.

He sighed as his gaze shifted from the fire to Riley’s profile. She looked … peaceful in repose. There was no worry, no stress, no tension in sleep. He removed his fingers from her hair, pressed a kiss to the index and middle fingers, and lay the digits against her cheek.

At least she still enjoyed sitting by a fire. They could continue to share that, at least.

“Liam?” Riley stirred slightly.

“I’m here, love,” he answered quietly.

He expected her to leave; rise up, grab a bottle of gin, and sweep into her chambers in an effort to avoid the fact she had a husband, that they had a marriage.

But she didn’t.

“The fire’s lovely, isn’t it?” she murmured sleepily as she continued to lay her head in his lap.

“It is. Do you need another blanket?” he asked, the back of his fingers idly stroking her cheek.

She shook her head slightly. “No.”

“Do you wish to retire to your quarters?”

A pause. “Can we just stay here?”

Liam released a silent sigh of relief. “Of course, love.”

 Object of Affection Liam x Riley (Mermaids)

Who still believes in Santa?

Who is the best gift giver?

Who wants to go caroling?

“Lady Riley, why aren’t you ready?” Liam demanded indignantly.

He stood in her common area, wearing a tuxedo and a top hat. His hands were on his hips, and a frown downturned his lips.

“Ready for what? And why are you dressed that way?” Riley questioned as she rummaged in her refrigerator. She let out a triumphant cry as she pulled out a carton of Lythikos nog.

“Caroling! Every year, the reigning monarch, along with their family and closest friends, go caroling the week before Christmas along the Stormholt Historic District. I put it on your calendar!”

Riley drank her nog directly from the carton, wiping away the left-behind creamy mustache from her upper lip with the back of her hand. Her eyes went between Liam and looking down at her outfit: blue yoga pants, a sleeveless white tee shirt that read: Peace. Love. Bubblegum.; fuzzy pink slipper socks were on her feet. Her hair was a frizzy afro.

“I never got the calendar invite. You can check for yourself,” she shrugged.

Liam began to pace the rooms, clearly agitated. “This is TRADITION, and you are treating it so … so nonchalantly! As Queen, you will be expected to …”

“You forget, me marrying you was MY idea! NOT yours. I realize the expectations. I am telling you, I received nada from you or your people,” Riley retorted as she disappeared into her bedroom.

“Where are you going now?” Liam demanded angrily.

“To get ready!” Riley snapped.

Liam tossed his hat onto a nearby chair before picking up his betrothed’s phone. “May I check your calendar?” he called out.

“I don’t care,” Riley replied before the sound of the shower turning on filled the space.

Liam’s brow furrowed as he pulled up Riley’s outlook. Obviously, she stayed logged in as it opened immediately. His eyes quickly scanned the list of correspondence: Regina, Madeleine, himself, her assistant. He tapped the calendar icon; December 18 was empty.

The frown between his brows deepened. Liam had personally sent the invitation on December 1; he hadn’t had time to follow-up with Riley on her confirmation. End-of-year was a busy time for governance, and he had been busy meeting with duchy leaders regarding finances, trade agreements, and a military alliance amongst many pressing issues.

Did he somehow overlook her invitation?

“Do I need to carry a candle and a book, like Charles Dickens?” Riley’s question interrupted his wonderings.

He looked up, and his eyes widened in wonder and delight. His fiancée stood before him in a high-necked, green velvet maxi dress adorned with white sequined snowflakes. Her hair was an upsweep of glossy brown curls. Sensibly heeled dark brown boots adorned her feet and disappeared beneath the skirt of her frock.

“You look utterly gorgeous,” Liam praised as he bowed to kiss the back of her hand.

“Thank you,” Riley blushed.

“Is the car waiting downstairs?” Riley asked as Liam helped wrap a white, woolen cloak about her body.

“We’ll be arriving by horse-drawn carriage,” Liam corrected.

“You know what would be a better tradition? A live Christmas Eve concert at Bossina Cathedral broadcast to all Cordonia so no citizen is or feels left out.”

Liam paused to stare thoughtfully at Riley. “That is definitely something to consider.”

“I’m on the Holiday Planning Committee. I’ll bring it up at the next meeting.”

In the carriage, the couple made small talk.

“What were your plans this evening if not for caroling?” Liam inquired as he held Riley’s gloved hand in his.

“Hanging Christmas lights inside my rooms. Santa has to know where to find me now since I didn’t leave a forwarding address.”

“I believe Santa knows where to find all the good boys and girls.”

“And we’re back to: I need him to know where to find me!” Riley chuckled.

“I’m happy to help you with the Christmas lights if you’d like,” Liam offered, his eyes glued on her profile.

Riley looked at him skeptically. “My people will call your people.”

They settled into comfortable silence, relishing in the scenery and each other’s company. Liam’s thoughts were focused on his Christmas present to Riley.

Her engagement ring. Her new one. One given out of want and respect, not duty and obligation.

The carriage slowed as they reached their destination, Stormholt Square.

“Will there be bathroom breaks?”

“Shopkeepers provide us with refreshments such as hot cider, hot cocoa, fudge, treats. We are also welcome to utilize their facilities.”

“Thank God,” Riley muttered as she prepared to open her door.

Before she could pull the handle, the door was swung open; before her was the Duchess of Lythikos, her red hair hidden beneath a black Russian fur hat, and her svelte figure encased in a chic red coat.  Her Grace’s expression swiftly changed from delight to one of bewildered confusion; Riley saw thinly veiled consternation creep into Olivia’s green eyes.

And in that moment, Riley knew exactly what had happened to her calendar invite.

SGL x Riley B. (DC AU)

Who makes the other hot chocolate?

Who listens to Christmas music way too early?

Who puts up the Christmas lights?

“Voila! Chocolate chip Belgian waffles and caramel hot chocolate!” Liam announced with a wink as he placed a plate and mug before Riley.

Riley’s brown eyes rolled as she took in Liam wearing a snowman onesie, complete with a jaunty red scarf around his neck and a black top hat on the hood, but grew appreciative when she saw the food.

“Why are we dressed this way for breakfast?” she questioned as she pushed the sleeves of her Grinch onesie further up her arms. Riley was messy with syrup, and she liked her waffles with lots of butter and syrup.

“Tis the SEASON!” Liam explained as if it were obvious, before blowing on his cup of cocoa.

Riley looked around as she chewed her waffle; it was delicious. Liam had made them with buttermilk and vanilla.

The sounds of Ella Fitzgerald singing Christmas carols filled the apartment. A six-foot-tall tree stood in a corner of the dining area, decorated with garland, balls, and various ornaments collected over the years. Every window in Liam’s apartment was framed with twinkling Christmas lights. An inflatable reindeer stood watch on the fire escape.

“Liam, you’ve done a great job decorating, but don’t you think it’s a little … much?” she asked.

Liam looked at Riley as if she had slapped him. “THAT right there is why you’re the Grinch, Riley B.! I never figured you to be a Scrooge!”

“And I never thought you were a psycho!”

“I like Christmas, okay?”

“IT’S VETERAN’S DAY! I get it … Christmas is special, for good reason. But celebrating early detracts from the holidays that precede it and makes Christmas less special when it arrives!”

Liam shoved a forkful of waffles into his mouth. “What’s wrong with invoking the spirit that Christmas brings a little earlier? People are kinder, more generous, and just BETTER human beings at Christmas!”

“Then become a Catholic and celebrate December 25 through January 6!”

Riley held out her empty plate. “More, please.”

Liam’s eyes widened in an almost comical manner. “You just called me a psycho and told me to join an organized religion simply because I LIKE CHRISTMAS!” He shook his head resolutely. “No more waffles for YOU!”

Riley set her empty plate down slowly. “I … I didn’t say THAT!”

“But you did!” Liam argued.

“Not LIKE THAT!” Riley protested.

“YES, like that! Those words were said with intent, Riley B. Whether it was specific or general can be debated. But you spoke them with a clear intent.”

He sliced more waffle, then glanced over at her mug. “Drink your cocoa before it gets cold.”

He watched Riley lift her cup before resuming the conversation.

“My wishing to celebrate Christmas earlier is no different than a person celebrating their birthday the entire birth month. Does that somehow lessen the significance of the actual birth date?”

Riley shook her head. “It isn’t the same!”

“Why isn’t it? Tell me HOW, using your own argument, that the person celebrating their birthday all month doesn’t detract from another’s actual birthday in the same month?”

“YOU are celebrating Christmas SIX WEEKS early! You aren’t even in the birthday month!”

Liam smirked. “Christmas is a SEASON, in addition to a day. Can you tell me when the season starts?”

Riley was nonplussed. She bit her lip as she thought.

“Christmas SEASON officially begins the day after Thanksgiving and ends January 2; therefore, I’m only two weeks early, not six. Even with that, I’m still a week behind the big-box retailers.”

“Did you … did you just go Lawyer Liam on me to defend decorating early for Christmas?” Riley asked as she sipped more hot chocolate. “While dressed as a snowman?”

Liam slid from his stool to turn the waffle maker on. He tossed the red scarf over his shoulder before looking back at Riley and giving her a big wink.

“Yup!”

UnRomance Liam x Riley (The 9 ½ Weeks AU)

Who is excited for trimming the Christmas Tree?

Who wraps the presents?

Who wants to build a snowman?

I stand naked before the plate glass window wall in my dining room, watching snow fall into the East River.

“Liam, wake up!” my mother excitedly shakes me awake.

I rub my eyes and scrunch my nose, trying to wake up. It’s Christmas morning, which normally means I would already be awake, but I had stayed up late wrapping mom’s presents.

“It’s snowing! On Christmas Day!” she exclaims in a hushed whisper.

My eyes fly open; my bare feet thump heavily across the wooden floor as I race to the window. My nose presses against cold glass as I watch thick, white flakes fall to join the inches already accumulated on the ground. Our neighborhood is a quiet sea of untouched white crystals.

I turn to look at her, happiness and excitement both in my face and voice. “Mama, can we go out in it?”

She giggles as she rakes her fingers through my sleep-tousled hair. “Of course! Why do you think I woke you up?”

“YAY!” I jump up and down. “We’ll build a snowman?”

She nods in agreement. “Get showered and dressed. Breakfast soon.”

I sip cautiously at the hot black coffee in my mug as I turn from the window and walk through the living room. There is a short Christmas tree standing in one of the corners, no more than four feet tall. Riley put it there. I don’t celebrate the holidays.

“There will be NO TREE, Riley! I have told you REPEATEDLY I DO.NOT.CELEBRATE. ANY. HOLIDAY! You are free to go home to decorate and celebrate as you see fit!”

“You put up that ceramic tabletop tree! A TREE IS A TREE!”

“You need to go home,” I respond quietly. “You have no idea how to respect wishes or boundaries.”

Fear leaps in her eyes at being told to go home. “It’s just a tree. I’ll make sure it’s a small one. PLEASE??”

“I will have nothing to do with it OR this Christmas bullshit you INSIST on bringing to MY house!

She nods sadly. “It’s just a tree,” she whispers.

It’s an artificial one, pre-lit. Lights of red, green, and white twinkle against silver tinsel and golden-colored balls. There are three gifts beneath it: two are in gift bags. They are to me from Riley.

The third is wrapped in comic paper. It’s my mother’s favorite perfume. I bought it for her every year when she was alive. I have brought it for her every year since.

I climb the stairs that lead to the upper floor; I enter the dark, quiet study and sit behind my desk, contemplating what I’m about to do. I don’t turn on the computer or the television. Instead, I place my mug on the desk and rise, making my way towards the closet.

I thrust my arm inside to pull out a shopping bag; it’s filled with wrapping paper and Riley’s gifts. They’re not Christmas gifts; I don’t celebrate the holiday. She’ll merely receive them on Christmas Day.

I carry it all to the desk and begin neatly cover the purchases with silver wrapping, carefully cutting paper, and folding and tucking in corners. The sky lightens as I work; the snow continues to fall. I place the boxes into the bag and return to the closet.

I rummage on the upper shelf, my hand finding what I seek: a newspaper-wrapped ceramic angel holding a sparkly star. I place her atop the gifts and carry bag and mug back downstairs with me. The bag goes beneath the tree, and I carefully unwrap and place my mother’s angel atop it.

I walk into the kitchen, pour the dregs of my coffee down the drain, and check the refrigerator for breakfast ingredients. I slowly head for my bedroom, enjoying the dimness and silence. When I enter, I see a robed Riley clutching a panel of blackout curtain in one hand, her face so close to the glass I’d wager her nose is pressed against it. She turns when she hears me, her face alight with a joyous smile.

“Liam! It’s snowing! On Christmas Day!” she gushes happily.

I stare at her, wanting to tell her to stop being such a child, and to get back in bed.

But I don’t.

She doesn’t know that there is a present for her beneath the Christmas tree. She doesn’t know that I am preparing one of her favorite breakfasts this morning: French crepes, bacon, and matcha latte.

All she knows is that it’s snowing on Christmas morning, and that she’s with me.

I allow her to be happy and enjoy this moment.

I see myself in her.

“Breakfast soon,” I promise as I climb beneath the covers, turning my back to her and the window.

 Riam

Who puts up the Christmas lights?

Who hits up Black Friday sales?

Who starts a snowball fight?

“Get back here, you little heathen!” Riley ordered, just before tripping over one of her sons’ toys and faceplanting into the plush carpeting of the boys’ nursery.

Her firstborn, Frac, stopped running when he heard her fall; he stopped and turned, then burst into laughter at seeing his mother felled like a tree.

He pointed a chubby finger at Riley, chanting, “Heevin”.

His mother closed her eyes and slowly counted to 10. It was too early for the emotional damage being inflicted upon her by the tiny humans she helped create.

“You cannot say ‘heathen’ around dada, do you understand?”

“Dada heevin! Dada heevin!” Frac laughed.

Fric, his identical twin and the youngest by three minutes, toddled around Riley and was repeatedly poking his finger into one of her butt cheeks, prominently outlined through her flannel nightgown due to a gigantic wedgie.

“Mama butt!”

“Oh, dear LORD! Stop touching it, little boy!” Riley huffed as she gently smacked Fric’s hand off her.

Frac hurriedly joined his brother, and the boys clambered onto Riley’s back, knocking her back to the floor before she could fully stand; the pair rocked back and forth and bounced up and down on their mother, tiny fingers gripping her gown while shrieking with laughter as they alternated between saying, “Horthee” and “Heevin butt.”

A brisk knock on the door preceded a freshly dressed Liam’s entry; his greeting died on his lips as he took in the scene before him:

His wife face down on the floor, flailing her legs and pounding her fists against the floor, yelling, “STOP THAT!”; a section of her nightgown was bunched between her butt cheeks.

His sons, naked except for diapers, using Riley for horseback rides, while yelling something that sounded suspiciously like horse’s heathen butt.

“Francis! Jonathan!” Liam addressed his sons by their Christian names in a firm tone as he strode towards his family.

The boys abruptly halted their movements, turning their heads almost guiltily. Bright, guileless smiles wreathed their faces when they saw their father.

“DADA!” They scrambled off their mother and ran to Liam.

The King squatted so he was eye-level with his sons. “What were you doing to your mother?” he demanded.

“Mama heevin,” Frac stated as if that explained everything.

“They tried to KILL ME, Liam.” Riley moaned dramatically as she rolled over onto her back. “They are implementing their plan of world domination, and I’m the test subject!”

Liam wagged an index finger before the twins’ faces. “Your mother is NOT a heathen, and we will continue this discussion,” he promised.

The twins looked at each other with startled eyes. “Oh, oh!” they said in unison before scampering off to their bedroom.

Liam chuckled as he stretched out beside his wife. “What did we do before those two came along?”

“Have peace, quiet, allll the food, and not live in fear for our lives.” Riley threw her forearm across her brow.

Liam turned his head so his eyes could take in Riley’s profile. “Do you want to try for another one?”

Riley turned her head, meeting his gaze. “Yes,” she answered softly.

Their hands reached for the other’s, and they lay in relative quiet for a few moments.

“We need to head to Valtoria before the storm comes,” Liam stated.

The royal family would be spending the Christmas/New Year holiday season at the Queen’s duchy as they did every year. This winter season, Valtoria was experiencing significant snowfall and with more accumulation expected all week, it appeared there would be a white Christmas.

“Gladys informed me yesterday that all the orphanages received their packages from “Santa”, so that’s good. And multiple deliveries were made to the Great House from online shippers, so guessing my Black Friday purchases arrived as well.”

“You weren’t the only one to take advantage of lower prices and free shipping, love,” Liam reminded her.

“Did you use my Prime account?” Riley demanded.

“Did you use my credit card?” her husband countered.

Silence. “Maybe.”

Liam laughed quietly as he moved closer to Riley. “Then we’re even.”

“We need to leave within the next hour if we’re going to arrive before more precipitation. Maybe we can take the boys out in the snow before it gets too heavy.”

“Judging by what I walked in on, it’s going to take you that long to get them clothed.”

“You dress them, I’ll order breakfast to go and get ready. Make sure to put them in their reindeer snowsuits.”

Liam’s brow knit. “Love, where did our children learn words like heathen and butt?”

Riley shook her head. “No idea. Maybe those Mickey Mouse cartoons they watch.”

Liam’s eyes narrowed. “I think you do know.”

“You can’t prove that!”

“But I can settle it. Snowball fight in Valtoria.”

“Heathens versus Butts? You’re on!” Riley accepted the challenge as Liam helped her from the floor. “Just so you know, I’m the heathen.”

Liam eyed her posterior admiringly as she made her way to the door. “It’s looking like a butt from here.”

The Queen stuck out her tongue before disappearing through the doorway.

Writer’s Choice (Laxwell)

Who wants to see the Christmas parade?

Who throws the Christmas party?

Who makes homemade gifts?

“This is going to be the BEST Christmas EVER!” Maxwell announced delightedly as he tucked into his lunch.

The Duke of Valtoria, Liam Rys, stared dubiously across the table at his lover before reaching for dressing to pour over his salad. “It’s going to be such a whirlwind! I much prefer a slower-paced, quieter holiday.”

“New Year’s will be quiet. Just us,” Maxwell promised.

“Thank goodness. I don’t want any wild parties, Max!”

“We got the Beaumont Bash, Holiday Edition scheduled on the 23rd. No one will have recuperated enough for another one so soon.”

“Then on Christmas Day, I’m Grand Marshal of the Valtorian Christmas Parade,” Liam added.

“I’ll be front row, and I’ll walk the entire parade route with you. You won’t be alone.”

Liam chuckled as he sliced into his grilled chicken. “With rumors of the entire duchy attending, I would hope not!”

“Your constituents love you.”

Liam shook his head. “They didn’t when I raised the tax rate.”

“Sales tax! By only 3%, and it’s still the lowest in all of Cordonia. Besides, if they don’t, I do,” Maxwell looked up from his plate to bat his eyes at Liam.

“And I love you more,” Liam smiled fondly at the young Lord.

“Y’know, I was thinking … since Christmas Day is going to be jam-packed with the Parade and family dinners, maybe we could exchange gifts Christmas Eve,” Maxwell suggested as he ladled gravy onto his mashed potatoes.

Liam’s eyes widened appreciatively over the rim of his wineglass. “Excellent idea, love!”

“I can’t wait for you to see your present!”

Liam’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Is it a peacock?”

Maxwell raised an eyebrow, his expression giving away nothing. “I’m not telling.”

“Max, if you got me a PEACOCK … you KNOW I’m allergic!”

“Is that what you’re calling being a scaredy-cat nowadays?” Maxwell teased.

Liam bunched up his cloth napkin and lobbed it at his boyfriend. It harmlessly bounced off Maxwell’s hair and onto the carpet. “No peacocks!” Liam warned.

Maxwell grinned to himself. He most definitely had not gotten Liam a peacock, but there was a puppy. A Corgi, rescued from the local animal shelter. That was gift number one.

Gift number two spoke to Liam’s sentiment; it was a pinboard, handcrafted by Maxwell himself. With the help of the Great House’s staff.

It was made of cork, wood that had been painted in Cordonian blue, and macrame rope. Maxwell put a lot of thought into what would go onto the board: peacock feathers; a photo of Queen Eleanor and baby Liam; the ticket stubs from their first U2 concert; a copy of his letter to Liam on their second anniversary; glitter; a picture of Liam the day of his coronation as Duke of Valtoria, wearing his coronet and carrying a shield decorated with the Valtorian coat of arms; a stock photo of two clinking beer bottles, and a photo of their mothers at a tea party, grinning conspiratorially at each other over tea cups.

He hoped Liam liked it.

Liam, across the table, was finishing his meal debating if he should get a refund on Maxwell’s gift. The second-born to the throne was now absolutely convinced that he was getting a peacock for Christmas.

His gift to Maxwell was a two-week trip to France next summer. They would be attending the Peacock Society’s annual electronic dance music festival in Paris. Max would be upset that the Peacock Society had nothing to do with actual peafowl, but in-person attendance at an actual festival would make up for that.

After the three-day festival, the pair would be off to hike the Pyrenees Mountains.

The trip they never got to take.

“WHAT?” Maxwell exclaimed as he reached for more chicken and potatoes. “I feel you watching me!”

“Good! Because I am going to KEEP watching you, every day until Christmas Eve.”

“Well, let me make it worth your while, …” Maxwell pulled his sweater over his head, exposing his muscled bare chest, hippo tattoo, and rippled abs.

He winked at Liam before eating a forkful of chicken and salad.

The Duke audibly gulped before licking his suddenly dry lips. “Please, continue,” he urged.

“If I do that, I’m giving you your present early,” Maxwell protested with a sly grin.

Liam had risen from his seat and was pulling Maxwell from his. “I’ll still want it on Christmas Eve.”

“But the surprise!” Maxwell mock protested as he willingly let Liam lead him towards their bedroom.

“You’ll think of something between now and then.”

Tagging:  @jared2612​ @ao719​  @marietrinmimi​ @merridithsmiscellany-blog​ @queenjilian​ @indiacater​ @kingliam2019​ @bebepac​ @liamxs-world​ @mom2000aggie​ @liamrhysstalker2020​  @neotericthemis​ @twinkleallnight​ @umccall71​ @superharriet​  @busywoman​ @gabesmommie1130​ @tessa-liam​ @phoenixrising0308​ @beezm​ @gardeningourmet​ @lovingchoices14​ @foreverethereal123​ @mainstreetreader​ @angelasscribbles​ @lady-calypso​ @emkay512​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @princessleac1​ @charlotteg234​ @queenrileyrose​ @alj4890​ @yourfavaquarius111​ @motorcitymademadame​ @queenmiarys​  @choicesficwriterscreations​ @burnsoslow​

[camillathe6th]

Snippet. No Punch Pulled.

DISCLAIMER: Everything belongs to Malin Rydén and Fallen Hero. This one’s on the Retribution time-line (which you can wishlist on Steam etc etc). CONTEXT: Apparently I’m posting twice in three days, what the fuck. The Daniel POV faucet Hath Been Open. WHAT TO EXPECT: Daniel and Ortega discuss less than civilly about a roof-punch (Retribution’s open alpha spoilers ahead). 

2020.

Under the ice pack, my eye still smarts, all the way down to the jaw. Of course it’s not that big of a deal, and I guess I deserved it a little; at least if you count unbridled violence as a communication style.

I don’t, for the record. But I understand how one can get there. I should have known; she’s always trembling with it.

I grasp too late how bad a refuge the break room is. As the pain just starts to wane, the door opens. Ortega throws me a glance and snorts. He takes the time to grab a beer in the fridge before he snarks:

“Rough morning?”

Under his laughing gaze, my pride smarts worse than my face.

“Just a little,” I mumble.

Shit. I would rather not tell him, but she’s going to, isn’t she? These two don’t share anything but the secrets of others. There will be no mercy for me, not from her, I’m sure of that. That means hiding it now will only come back to haunt me later.

“How’s the other guy?” Ortega adds on the tail of a generous gulp of beer.

“Unscathed. Una is the one who decked me.”

The next gulp goes down the wrong pipe.

“What?” he sputters.

“It’s m…”

“What the hell did you do to her?”

Oh, that’s rich. I bristle, cut to the quick. Of course he’s jumping to conclusions. Maybe he’s not wrong, but come on! He could have hesitated for one more second. It’s not like she’s a paragon of self-control.

“What?” I retort, “why would it be my fault?”

“Isn’t it?”

“I just wanted…”

“What did you do, Daniel?”

“Will you let me speak?”

“Will you stop justifying yourself and get to the point?”

I put the ice-pack down and breathe. I hope against hope that I’m not pink and blue and red and flushed. I feel cotton-headed and chest-boiling. I hate, I hate when he talks to me like I’m a disobedient little kid. When will he get it? I’m his ally, not his burden.

“I wanted to talk about Heartbreak, since nobody here will tell me anything. I flew her to a roof so we would be out of earshot from anyone…”

Oh. The silence that follows is much worse than his impatience.

The silence breathes with ozone.

When I look up, I’m greeted by a glare so dark I hold my breath. I stay seated, but my feet leave the floor, discreetly—anticipating the blow this time.

“Let me get this straight,” he says at last, voice very soft, soft enough to grate. “You flew a Heartbreak victim to a Los Diablos rooftop in the hopes that she would tell you, a perfect stranger, about the traumatic experience that lead to her almost-death?”

“I…”

“You do know she threw herself out a window and crashed on the ground several stories below, right?”

I wince. The image hurts me in the teeth. He looks like he relishes it: a savage scratching of a purulent scab, dirty nails deep.

“Ortega, I… She wasn’t…”

“She wasn’t WHAT?”

The scream comes from nowhere and hits like glass shattering. I haven’t seen him like that in a—a while. I wish I could disappear into thin air. This is worse, this is much worse than a punch. In front of me, Ortega has turned on his heels and paces up and down the room, tensed from nape to fists. My vague grasp of Spanish unlocks only fragments of his hissing:

“Can’t believe this… for months… and now this little shit… ruin everything?!”

Fine. I get the gist.

“She’s fine!” I plead. “She’s completely fine. She’s not going to vanish out of nowhere.”

“Shut up,” he snaps back to me. “Just because you collect Sidestep comics doesn’t mean you know her. If she does vanish, it will be your fault and your fault only.”

I clench my jaw. Yeah, I’m sure it won’t be about the obsessive nosing around he’s doing on his own free time. Pot, meet kettle.

“She won’t vanish,” I repeat. “She wouldn’t have agreed to train me otherwise. We’re meeting up again next week.”

That flies better than my apologies. He stops in his tracks, face tilted.

“Training? Training for what?” he looks at me vulture-eyed.

“For fighting, of course.”

“Una agreed to train you? She’s retired.”

“So? She was still the best fighter on the team, back in the day.”

“Second best. And it was seven years ago.”

I arch an eyebrow. What is he getting at? He’s stopped moving now, and his stillness makes me itch. This is no casual conversation.

“She still landed a punch on me today. Like riding a bike, I guess.”

“Only if you keep at it.”

“Fine,” I groan. “I’ll work more consistently.”

He dismisses me with a wave of his hand. Not his point. Silly me—why would I ever be his point?

“What did she say about training? No—how did she hit you? How was her stance? How was yours? Was there any force behind the blow? Describe the scene to me.”

Oh, he wouldn’t dare, would he? Of course he would. Of course. This time I don’t avoid his gaze.

“Are you shitting me right now?”

“What?” he barks, hackles raised.

“You’re trying to sniff out intel on her five seconds after ripping into me because I did the same? Get lost, Ortega!”

“Oh, get off your high horse! It’s not the same!”

“You’re right,” I throw back. “At least I asked her to her face.”

This one lands wrong, I see it on his moving face; but insults are less important than the bone he’s trying to gnaw at. He doesn’t let up:

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“If you think you’re helping her, you’re not. She needs me. What she doesn’t need is a little shit-stirrer clinging to her skirts.”

Getting better and better. Shit-stirring advice from the shit-stirrer in chief. Did he forget he can’t catch flies with vinegar?

“I’m not going to be your spy, Ortega,” I seethe. “Maybe try having a conversation next time.”

“Why, thank you for the suggestion,” he coos, poison-honeyed. “What do you recommend, kidnapping?”

It takes a lot not to clench my fists.

“Don’t be jealous,” I snap back. “I know you wouldn’t hesitate if you could fly yourself.”

I didn’t notice the space closing, not until he smacks his hands on the table between us and looms above me. I’m still seating, and I curse myself for not standing, earlier. Rookie mistake. There’s nothing I can do now but feel like a scolded brat, facing a resentment so cold I could shiver.

“You need to stop running your mouth about things you don’t understand.”

“You could make me understand,” I say, trying to summon my defusing voice, and failing. I’m still seeping anger, and his face is a locked box.

“You can’t. Back off. Just stay in your lane and don’t bother her again.”

“I’m not—”

He turns away. He’s done with me now. The dismissal is as disrespectful as his anger.

“Enjoy training, Daniel,” he throws over his shoulder, one last dart to ensure his victory. “You need it.”

Behind him, the door closes like a fist.

[jamesblackshaw]

New Album Pre-order

Dear all, Eight years have passed since my last album ‘Summoning Suns’ was released. A while back, feeling burnt out and like I wanted to find a bit more stability in my life, I decided to take a break from live performances and at least take my foot off the pedal a little bit with regards to writing and recording. That announcement sounded more dramatic than I intended in retrospect, but here we are in 2023, with nearly a decade of insanity between now and what felt like a comparatively breezy summer back in 2014 when I was making my last record. Life finds a way of getting in the way. Every time I wanted to jump back in and play again, it felt like something would dishearten me. The pandemic and the sudden passing of one of my best friends and closest collaborators - John Hannon, who recorded nearly everything I've ever made – in particular. I never found the stability I craved, bouncing around between bar and kitchen jobs. A couple of them I liked a fair bit. Others were awful. One even resulted in a nervous breakdown/mixed episode that lasted three months. The closest thing I found to the sense of self-worth and achievement I had while I was making music was cooking my own food, in my own food business. It's hard work a lot of the time certainly, but seeing people enjoy something you’ve made from start to finish is such a rewarding experience. I was beginning to take that job even more seriously as a full-time gig when I slipped on some black ice and broke my right shoulder one evening in mid-December last year. Aside from coping with the pain, I found myself unable to move my arm, out of work with little support and at home caring for my dog Dexter, who was diagnosed with terminal liver disease a couple days after my fall and passed away this February. For months I wondered when – and if – I’d be able to play guitar again and I wanted so desperately to throw myself back into music, to communicate something or anything at all about this overwhelming sense of loss I was feeling. I’m happy to say I'm now in good health, both physically and mentally. In fact, at the time of writing, I’m about to play a show in London this coming week. It’ll be my first since I played Oslo in early 2020. I’m also incredibly excited to announce that I’ve just started work on a new instrumental album. There’s no title yet and the cover photo you see here is just a placeholder. I plan to release the album by the end of this year and I’d be incredibly grateful for your help in achieving that. By pre-ordering on Bandcamp, you’ll be helping me enormously with recording costs, repairs, paying other musicians for their time and of course my own time. When I started out, I was fortunate that a lot of these expenses were covered by small advances from the labels I worked with, but sadly I don’t think many labels have that sort of money in such trying times. You’ll receive the full digital album as soon as it’s released, no later than the 31st of December 20203. This album will not be available to stream on Spotify or for purchase digitally anywhere else but here. Please do let me know if you’d be interested in purchasing a CD or LP later down the line. If there’s enough interest and it ends up going to press in the future, I’d like to offer everybody who pre-orders the digital version a discount so they can get their preferred version and not pay twice for both digital and physical. I truly appreciate your support and don't take it for granted. I hope this will be the first of a lot more new music to come. James Blackshaw, 03/06/23 

[effervescentdragon]

pierresteban (idk if you write for them...) + soulmate AU

[if you rather write it for another ship, then piarles]

@saintdevote im tagging you bcs this is inspired by what we talked about <3 also by yesterday and a million things, just bear with me here

"Do you think you can do it, calamar?" Charles asked him softly as they lay in Charles' hotel bed in Japan on the nightin the morning after the race. "I saw your interview, and I know how excited you come off, but can you do it, really?"

The race was shit, the worst race, the worst weekend they've both had since probably 2019, or maybe Bahrain 2020. They didn't even go out with the rest, and Pierre felt a bit bad about Yuki, who was excited to show them his favorite clubs, but they were staying for a couple more days, so he understood when Pierre told him he couldn't, not tonight, not after all that. Charles' brothers weren't here, but Carlos was, and Pierre told him to go, but Charles just looked at him and rolled his eyes and said "If he can't understand why I need to be with you, then he is not the man I thought he was," and Pierre was so relieved, he thought he would cry.

He did, sometime during the night, they both did, and Charles held him tight, and Pierre held Charles tighter, and hated himself for how much he wished someone else was there to hold him, but he wasn't - they weren't - not like that.

"I have to," he whispered back. "I have to, it's finally happening, I'm finally free, and I have to."

"But you love him," Charles said. "You love him like you loved him for half of our lives, and you haven't talked for years, and you love him."

Pierre swallowed. "I do," he said, throat tight. "But that's not the issue."

"There are too many issues," Charles said. "Why is this all so hard, Pear?"

"I don't know," he said. "He said we'll talk some more later," he said. "He said we can - Charles," he cut himself off, closed his eyes. "He still takes his coffee with too much sugar, but now he adds milk," Pierre said, and felt the tears gather behind his closed eyes. "He adds milk now, and I didn't know that, Charles. I didn't know, I brought him coffee like I always used to, and he made a face and said that he takes milk now, and I -"

"You'll learn," Charles says softly. "You'll learn what he likes again, you'll learn, don't worry." Pierre couldn't open his eyes, because he didn't want to cry again. "You'll both learn."

Pierre envied Charles and his optimism regularly, because he wasn't a good friend, and yet Charles still stuck with him when nobody else did, and despite that, they weren't - they were not It for each other.

"Do you think Carlos is your soulmate," Pierre whispered, because he couldn't help himself, because he needed to know.

"No," Charles said, and Pierre felt him move, and felt his hand on his cheek. "Do you think Esteban is yours?"

Don't be a coward, Pierre thought, and opened his eyes to Charles' soft smile. "No," he said. Charles' smile grew wider.

"I love you too, Pear," Charles said. "I just don't want to be with you."

Pierre felt relieved, and grateful, and like he could smile for the first time that night.

"I love you," he said. Charles caressed his cheek.

"You'll learn how he likes his coffee, and which ice-cream is his favorite." He scrunched his nose adorably. "I hope it's not pistachio anymore."

Pierre laughed out loud, then sighed.

"Carlos brought you stracciatella yesterday," he said. Charles nodded and bit his lip, and he looked so happy, Pierre couldn't help but feel hopeful.

"Okay," Pierre said. "Okay."

"It will be," Charles said. "I promise."

Pierre decided then and there to believe him.

[trinemendes]

Shawn Mendes on Pausing his Tour and why he shaved his head

The singer-songwriter talks about putting his mental health first: 'The last year and a half has been the most eye-opening and growing and beautiful and just healing process of my life'

Celebrity haircuts aren't typically breaking news, but then again most celebrities aren't Shawn Mendes.

Since his days of uploading pop covers to YouTube and Vine in the 2010s, he has become a global sensation, with four No. 1 spots on the Bilboard 200 chart, three Grammy nominations and 71 million followers on Instagram. So when the musician debuted a closely cropped 'do in January, his fans wondered: What happened to his flowing curls? And why?

"I think everyone should know what they look like with a shaved head," Mr. Mendes, 24, said in an interview last week. "I also was just feeling this urge to just shake myself up a little bit."

The hair is just a small change in a year of major transformation for Mr. Mendes. Last July, halfway through his "Wonder" world tour, he canceled his remaining dates to focus on his mental health, a move that made international headlines. Since then, he's been seeing a therapist and spending more time with friends and family in Los Angeles.

Now, after some time away from music, he's getting back in the studio. "I'm at the point where I'm like, OK, I'm ready to start making some songs,' which is exciting," he said. Here, he talks about therapy, singing in the shower and Sally Rooney.

What time do you get up on Mondays, and what's the first thing you do after waking up?

I wake up around 7. I get out of bed, I drink a liter of water and I get in the car to go to a coffee shop. I meet some friends for coffee, and we chat for about an hour and a half.

How do you like your breakfast? And does someone prepare it for you, or do you make it yourself?

usually make it. It's pretty simple. I'll make three scrambled eggs and a couple pieces of toast and I'll make a little avocado egg toast situation.

In 2020, you were often spotted walking around your neighborhood with a coffee mug that looked empty to some observers. What was in it?

The coffee was in it, always.

How do you decide what to wear?

I was just looking at my closet. I wear a lot of the same things. I think my friends would probably say that they see me wearing the same sweater every day, which is true when I wear it to the coffee shop. But it's pretty chill. Ilike to have a tank top on with a cardigan and some jeans and that's pretty much my go-to.

Do you meditate?

Meditation has really changed my life. I also am really into doing saunas and ice baths and stuff like that.

Speaking of, you put up a TikTok on Christmas of yourself doing a cold plunge in a river. How often do you do extreme things for self-care?

I mean, listen, I'm kind of crazy when it comes to the ice baths. I have one, so I do it a lot. I do it probably five, six times a week. I know it's a lot, but people who know me know that when I get on something that I like for the first little bit, I can be a little bit obsessive.

Last year you told fans you were canceling your tour dates to focus on mental health. What was that like for you?

The process was very difficult. A lot of doing therapy, a lot of trying to understand how I was feeling and what was making me feel that way. And then doing the work to help myself and heal. And also leaning on people in my life to help a little bit. It's been a lot of work, but I think the last year and a half has been the most eye-opening and growing and beautiful and just healing process of my life. I'm also really grateful for all the people that were so accepting and loving and kind and understanding. And it just really made me see how culture is really starting to get to a place where mental health is really becoming a priority.

You're newly working with jeweler David Yurman. When did you start wearing jewelry? How would you advise a man who's looking for a place to start with it?

I think Istarted wearing jewelry properly when I was 17. I started with a ring, a silver ring. I think you have to start with one piece, like a necklace or a ring or a bracelet and see how it makes you feel. Commit to it for a week. Don't feel the need to be wearing tons of rings or tons of necklaces or bracelets or whatever. Just put on what you feel good at your pace and you'll start to build your own aesthetic, which can be a really fun process.

Do you sing in the shower?

I do, for sure. I still have a lot of insecurities when it comes to singing, so I take that opportunity to let it go.

What are you watching and reading?

Ijust started watching this series called "Normal People." There's a book by Sally Rooney. Do you know about it? It's pretty incredible. What am I reading? I was reading "On the Road" for a minute. I got halfway through it.

What's one piece of advice you've gotten that's guided you?

Understanding how setting boundaries does not make you an unkind person has really changed my life. And also understanding that it's not easy to do. It's a difficult thing to do. It feels uncomfortable. It makes other people feel a little uncomfortable for a moment, but ultimately it's a very powerful and helpful thing to do for every relationship. So yeah, boundary-setting is not mean, it's actually very important. It's very kind, actually. (x)

[chock-bates]

Madison Chock and Evan Bates Partnership for Clean Competition Keynote Transcript

Moderator: Our keynote speakers have a very relevant story to tell that demonstrates how athletes at every level can be impacted by doping. Antidoping programs are in place to help protect athletes, protect the integrity of sport, and to help ensure clean sport. That is why the Partnership for Clean Competition supports some of the world's top scientists and innovators in high quality antidoping research and development. Olympians and World Champions Madison Chock and Evan Bates are joining us directly from events in Japan where they recently won their first World Championship. Together they've competed in three Olympic games, including silver medalists in the team event in 2022. They competed in 2018 and 2014. They have competed together in ten world championships, again winning the world championships this year, twelve US championships, winning it in 2023, 2022, 2020, and 2015, and seven Four Continents championships. They also just arrived, as I said, from Japan, where they helped Team USA secure the first place win at the ISU World Team Trophy in figure skating, and they're not done yet. So we're excited to have them share their story, and I'd like to invite Madison and Evan up to the stage.

Evan: Hello, hello everybody. Thank you so much to everybody for having us today. Super honored to be here and share a little bit about our story. So Madi and I just flew in from Japan last night, we're a little bit jet lagged, so please bear with us a little bit. We just had an incredible time in Japan, we were doing some touring as well as some competing. It's so cool to be here at the MLB headquarters, I'd like to say thank you to everybody here for hosting us. Our time in Japan, we got an opportunity to see some parts of Japan we would have never otherwise seen. We were up in the north in a province called Iwate. There's a really famous baseball player named Shohei Ohtani who's from Iwate. We were actually in Iwate during the World Baseball Classic. To see the way that this global game brought everyone together was so incredible and it was such a beautiful example of the power of sport. The way that it brings us together, people from different backgrounds, different ages. To fly from Japan, to come straight to the MLB headquarters, a little ironic, but thanks so much for having us today.

Madi: We've had two competitions and also performed in the Japanese Stars on Ice Tour while we were there, so it was a wonderful week of skating for us. We won our very first ever World Championships, a gold medal in our total career, which has been a long career, so that was an incredible experience. At World Team Trophy, we helped the US secure the gold medal. That again was incredible. The team event is such a unique and special event, it only comes around every two years or four years. Four years for the Olympics, two years for the World Team Trophy specifically in Japan.

Evan: This is a photo from last weekend. This is our team, team USA. My caption kinda shifted a little bit, but that's ok. A little bit about the team event, cause it's really unique in figure skating. Figure skating is a very individual sport. It's rare that we get to come together and compete as one. It's like the Rider Cup for golf. Like Madi said, it only comes every two years, or four years, in the case of the Olympics. Our most recent Olympic experience was in Beijing last February. The games in Beijing were a little different than we had experienced before for a couple reasons. One, they happened in the midst of the global pandemic. Two, it happened at the origin site of the global pandemic. Three, no fans were allowed to come. So we were skating in these massive venues for thousands of people but they were virtually empty. So it was just some kind of bizarre experience, but regardless we were extremely grateful for the opportunity to compete at the Olympics. There was a certain amount of uncertainty on whether we'd even have the opportunity considering the Tokyo games were postponed. Needless to say, when the games came around, we were super excited and we were selected to be in the team event for the first time in our careers.

Madi: We were incredibly excited but also incredibly nervous. Full of adrenaline, it was the first time for us to have the privilege to compete in the team event. For our Olympic season, we wanted to stand out. We've always prided ourselves on being creative and pushing skating to different levels and really thinking out of the box. For our Olympic performance, we decided to skate to Daft Punk, which is EDM music, very unusual for figure skating, especially during an Olympic season. In this performance, I play an alien, and Evan plays an astronaut. We meet each other and tell a story on another planet which we named Planet Ice, so it was very fun for us to do this very unique program and we'd like to play it for you.

Evan: There are our teammates, those are the people you can hear cause the rest of the venue is completely empty. We're so proud of that performance for many reasons. In a field of Rachmaninoffs and Beethovens, we were out there skating to Daft Punk and being aliens and astronauts. Watching that immediately brings me back to Beijing. I'm surprised at how emotional I was watching it in front of a group of people.

Madi: I'm surprised at how nervous I felt.

Evan: I'm sure many of you know where the story goes from there, and we're going to get into it, but before we do, we'd like to step back and talk a little bit about what goes in to getting to that point. What does it take to get to the Olympics. I'll share my story first, I'm 34, I started skating at 4. In my 30 years I've spent on the ice, I've spent more time on the ice than I could even imagine or count. I grew up in Ann Arbor, Michigan. When I was 9 years old, a Russian couple who had defected from the Soviet Union took jobs at the Ann Arbor Figure Skating Club as ice dance coaches. I'm going to show my childhood photos here. The young Russian couple took my sister and I as their first students. My aunt, who was a skater herself, and went on to become an immigration lawyer, she offered her legal services to the Russian couple in exchange for one year of free ice dance lessons fro her niece and nephew. So that's how I got my start in ice dance, with a quid pro quo.

I didn't start with Madi right away, wasn't that lucky, but I had a wonderful partner named Emily. We started together as kids and we grew up on the ice together. We skated together for 11 years in Ann Arbor with those Russian coaches. It started off just a couple days a week, but the Russian coaches were very demanding, they were great, but they were very intense, and the time commitment grew pretty quickly. By 7th grade, I was leaving school at 11am to go to the rink. I was skating 6 days a week, spending probably thirty to forty hours a week at the rink. Extracurriculars and time spent hanging out with friends and family vacations were sacrificed. Obviously there was a lot of hard work, but there were also some incredible payoffs quickly. Emily and I started to travel internationally. We started to represent team USA, I got hooked immediately. We were traveling to faraway countries I would have never otherwise seen, places like Tallinn, Estonia, Bulgaria, Taipei. For a 12-13 year old boy, the life experience was incredible.

We had some great success. We became Junior World Champions, and we qualified for the Olympics in 2010 despite having a stress fracture that year and being pushed further than I wanted to be pushed, spending the year in one of those plaster casts. Somehow we made our first Olympics, we had an incredible experience there, but at that point, I was 21 years old, I wasn't the 9 year old boy in the photo anymore, and it was time for a new chapter. We decided to change coaches. Luckily at that time, Michigan was the hotbed for ice dance. We didn't have to go far, we didn't have to relocate at all. The Olympic champions and the Olympic silver medalists were training in Canton, Michigan, which was 20 minutes away from Ann Arbor, Michigan. We decided to change coaches and we started training alongside the Olympic champions and the Olympic silver medalist, and it was so inspiring to see how up-close the way the best skaters in the world worked and lived and treated their work. The rink was full of amazing skaters, including one Miss Madison Chock, who was there skating with her partner, Greg, at the time. That's how Madi and I came under one roof, under one coaches, with different partners, competing against each other for a while.

About six months into our training in Canton, Emily and I had an accident training. I was picking her up, and as I brought her down, her skate came down on the back of my leg, and it ended up severing my achilles tendon fully. I remember putting her down and taking my first step, and I turned to Emily and asked if my skate had broken. It just felt like the blade had fallen off the heel. I looked down at the skate, the skate was totally fine. Months later, I realized that feeling was what was happening on the inside of my leg. Needless to say, it was a terrible injury, needed surgery, our for the whole season. When I came back to skating, it was just really difficult to get back into it. I felt like I needed a fresh start, so I started looking for a new partner in the summer of 2011. Fortunately for me, there was a very good skater at the rink who was also looking for a new partner at the time.

Madi: Spoiler alert, it was me. Yes, we both teamed up in Canton at that time, but I'll go back and take you to the start of my journey. I began skating when I was 5 years old in Redondo Beach, California. My idol was Michelle Kwan. She was phenomenal, as you well know, and we had grown up skating in some of the same rinks, not at the same time, but to just see her and know her story, growing up in California, being an Asian American athlete, it was so inspiring to see someone who looked like me achieving her goals, becoming an Olympian, multiple time World Champion, was just incredible. That really sparked my love for skating and sparked my dream of becoming an Olympian.

As a young skater, I also did gymnastics, I did dance, I did many different types of dance, you can see my ballet, that was early, I wasn't very good then, I was figuring it out. I loved performing on the ice, and my coaches took note of that. They saw my joy that I had when I skated and my love of footworks in particular. Not so much jumping, that wasn't really for me. They suggested that I try ice dance. Unfortunately, at that time, there weren't very many ice dance coaches in California. They suggested to my parents that we move to Michigan where some of the best ice dance coaches in the world at the time were located. My parents, being the wonderful people that they are and supporting me no matter what, through think and thin, they were like, "Yeah, let's give it a try." So I'm very grateful for that, cause they put a lot of faith, I was twelve years old at the time, they put a lot of faith in me, and in my dreams. That belief has really inspired me since the beginning of my career as an ice dancer. When I was thirteen, we picked up our lives, they got job transfers, and we moved across the country to Michigan so I could be an ice dancer.

Shortly after that move, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was an incredibly difficult time for our family, definitely the most difficult time we faced, ever. Her and my dad began traveling from Michigan to Dallas where she was receiving treatment from a specialist. I would stay in Michigan, with friends of the family, or family would come to stay with me, so I could continue going to school and continue skating. Obviously, it was very difficult, I was distracted worrying about my mom. Through it all, she was an incredible force and so strong, and always encouraged me to enjoy my time on the ice and with my friends, and relish in the fact that I get to train as a figure skater, somewhere special with all these incredible athletes. Fortunately, she made it through her breast cancer, she beat it, and she's been in remission ever since. It was her strength that really inspired me. I knew that if she could go through that, I could go through anything I needed to go through on the ice. That was a huge inspiration. They are the main reason that I'm here. They've supported me in my Olympic dream my entire life. I'm very lucky and very very grateful.

When I was in Michigan, I found one of my first partners, Greg. We had a lot of success at the junior level and moved up to senior for a couple years before he decided to retire, which was a bit surprising to me because we were so young. Typically in ice dance, you have a long career. Some teams skate together for decades. I still had a huge fiery passion for skating and I wanted to go to the Olympics, we hadn't accomplished that goal yet. I began looking for a partner, and who should I find but Evan Bates?

At the start of our partnership, even before we had our tryout, I had witnessed him through his injury and his perseverance and the way he battled back and fought for his time on the ice and to come back to full strength. It was really remarkable, when you have a severed achilles, that's not something you fully recover from, let alone return to full sport and figure skating where your foot is in a boot all the time. That was an incredible testament to who Evan is as a person, his determination, his work ethic. That's really what struck me, among other things, his personality is really great. That was one of the main reasons I was really drawn to Evan and thought we would be a great fit.

Evan: We started skating together in 2011 and honestly the first year we didn't really have great results right away. What we did have was a ton of fun together on the ice, a lot of chemistry, we were constantly laughing through our training sessions, despite lackluster results. The joy that we shared on the ice together became the foundation for our partnership. I feel like that's the reason we're still competing together today, almost two decades later. With the joy, the results started to come. We qualified for the Olympics in Sochi, 2014. We had an amazing experience. We skated great, we didn't win a medal, but we accomplished all the goals we set for ourselves that year. We felt like the future was very bright. Only later did we realize that one of the most sophisticated doping schemes in the history of sport was happening right under our noses.

Madi: When that information came out in Sochi, it was incredibly frustrating as clean athletes to know that such a concerted effort was made to cheat. We have always had to work very hard for our successes and it was incredibly difficult to reconcile the fact that that was happening. But still, we weren't deterred. We had a goal, we wanted to win an Olympic medal and we didn't let that stop us. We continued our career together and the following year we won our first World medal together in 2015, and then we won another World medal the following year in 2016. We felt like we had this nice momentum building up for the 2018 games in Pyeongchang.

But then, as luck would have it, we faced some adversity yet again. As we were beginning our preparations for the Olympic season, the summer of 2017, I sustained an injury to my ankle during training. We were preparing for our preseason camp. We were being pushed, probably much harder than we needed to be pushed at that point in the season. But we continued, and we loved skating, and we loved working hard, so we thought that that was just what we needed to do. I ended up getting injured, my blade got jammed into the ice as I was coming down from a lift, I fractured fragments of my talus bone. When I went to the doctor, he said that I would need surgery to remove the debris in my ankle, and that I would absolutely need surgery. I was like, "Well, that's not going to work for me, I have an Olympic games to go to."

He was very cooperative with my hardheadedness and I was like, "Is there any way we could postpone this and push through it." He was like, "Okay, maybe, just try it, see how you feel." And so we did, I was taping my ankle everyday to make sure the movement was limited. We limited our ice time and did the best we could with what we had, since we knew it was better than not going and not fulfilling all of the work we had put in the last four years since Sochi. We decided to just make it happen and do the best we could.

Evan: We ended up making the Olympic team, but the experience was not the Olympic dream that we had envisioned. That's Sochi, sorry I missed a slide, and this is Pyeongchang. In the middle of our free dance, we bellyflopped right on center ice. It was not choreographed. It was so devastating after working for so many years. This was our second games, my third, and this was kinda our time, we felt like, to medal. As soon as you do that, you're not medaling. We were mad, we were angry at the situation. We felt like we were going backwards. At this point in our careers, we aren't young. You don't know how many Olympic experiences you get as an athlete. If you're going to compete for another four years. We were kinda at our wit's end. We decided to change coaches, and at this point, the mecca of ice dance had shifted to Montreal. We decided to leave Michigan, leave our families, move to another country.

We started a new chapter with French and Canadian coaches in 2018, and these guys have completely changed our lives. There are many coaches there, but our main coaches are Marie-France and Patrice Lauzon who are a husband-wife team who were an ice dance couple themselves and have really lived a very similar life to the one we're living now. They competed in the Olympics, even had a very dramatic fall at the Olympics which caused them to withdraw as they were hoping to medal. They were World silver medalists, and just good people.

When we moved to Canada and we started to see and be treated with this compassion from our coaches and our team, and be empowered as athletes, it completely changed everything for us. We started to fall in love with skating again. A love that we knew we had, but had waned through the difficult times. We loved the process of coming to the rink and getting better and working on our craft and soon the results started to come back. We won a US title again in 2020, it had been 5 years since we won our first. Afterwards, we were in the press conference and the media told us, that's the longest anyone's gone between national titles, great record! The next year we won a world medal for the first time in 6 years, and the press conference media said that's the longest time anyone's gone between world medals! Great, these aren't the records that we really want, but we'll take them! Things started to go great, leading into Beijing Olympics, we felt like this was finally the time we were going to accomplish our Olympic dream of winning an Olympic medal.

Madi: Back to Beijing, the performance we showed you was one of the best and most gratifying performances that we've had in our careers so far. It was an incredible feeling to deliver that performance for our team when we were under pressure because the last four years, the Pyeongchang games were kinda looming over us a little bit. Even as we got to the spin in our free program of this performance, we talked to each other after the performance, oh wow, glad that the spin went well, since that's what we fell on the previous year. Making it through that mental hurdle was a big accomplishment, not only to deliver that performance, was relly special to us. On that day, we helped solidify team USA's spot as Olympic silver medalists and it was really special to celebrate that with our team, some of whom we've trained alongside for years. It was the best result the US figure skating team has had in history. It was incredible to be a little part of that Olympic history.

The next 24 hours were a bit bizarre. We were all just blissfully going about our day, excited we had just won a medal. Later that evening, we would be going to our medal ceremony to be awarded an Olympic medal. We got dressed in our gear, a special outfit Nike that provides specifically for the podium and we're instructed to not wear it until the opportunity of the podium is there. So, we all got dressed, we felt excited, we had our fresh gear on. We met up, we were taking photos, then someone said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, the ceremony has been canceled."

And we're like, canceled, not postponed? Maybe an hour? They were like, "No, it's been canceled." We had very little information to go off of. We all just kinda sat in the room for a while waiting to hear more. When eventually we did start to hear more of the news that there was a skater in the event who had been caught in a doping violation, and so we didn't know what that would mean for our moment and our medals, but as the story unfolded, we slowly learned more. We kind of knew that we wouldn't be taking home that medal.

Evan: Right, but I don't think we recognized in the moment the kind of impact Beijing would have on our lives. We still haven't gotten closure on this event that happened fifteen months ago. We have the video that we proudly show that is evidence that we lived our Olympic dream and that we won an Olympic medal after years and years of hard work. But what we don't have is the actual medal and what we'll never have is the moment on the podium in Beijing, nor will we have the opportunities that come after winning an Olympic medal, the press tour, the opportunity to capitalize that many medal winning athletes have. Now it's been fifteen months and still no medal of any color, which is difficult, but we did leave Beijing with empty medal boxes, which you can see team USA has up there in the photo on the right. We actually brought them with us today, and if it's ok, we'd like to pass them around, if people want to see them. After today, these are going to go on display at the US Olympic and Paralympic Museum in Colorado Springs, please return them afterwards.

Madi: So we left Beijing with these boxes that you see and no medal. And eventually the story after we left the Olympics wasn't being covered anymore, until the one year anniversary, things had been relatively quiet. As we came up on the one year, US Figure Skating launched a campaign called "More Than Medals". The purpose of the campaign was to shed light on the situation that it was the first time in Olympic history where a team who had earned a medal had left without their medal. This whole thing is so much more than a medal at this point. It's about integrity and accountability and the values that we uphold as athletes and as sport organizations.

Evan: And that's why we're so honored to be here today, honestly, is to recognize the work that is being done in the antidoping movement. As athletes, we are the ones who reap the benefits of all the hard work that the researchers do and the policymakers do. Without your work and your dedication, there would be no fair play. There would be no level playing field because the fact of the matter is there will be people who are trying to get ahead, who will cut corners at the expense of their competitors. For those people, I think the ends justify the means, and that's the sad reality, but to be here today and to see all of you and to thank you personally is a big honor for us and we just want to say thanks.

Madi: And we also love the tagline of this conference, "World class research for world class play." That really resonates with us, it's so powerful, it's so true. Without you being the best at the world and what you do, we could not be the best in the world at what we do. We are incredibly grateful for everything you do and continue to do in your research to help protect the integrity of sport and uphold the values that are so important to all the athletes around the world. So thank you from the two of us and thank you from team USA and thank you from all the teams and all the clean athletes who compete all around the world. We really appreciate the work you do and we couldn't do what we do without you doing what you do, so thank you so much.

Moderator: So next we're going to go on to question and answer. At each of the desks, you have a microphone. You can push the on button if you have a question. I'll get it kicked off. I know there's hopefully some great questions in the audience. But, obviously from the Partnership for Clean Competition, what we do is we try to ensure clean play and fair sport through antidoping science and research that we fund, and it's great to have so many amazing partners, including USOPC, Major League Baseball, the NFL, and USADA. Just looking at the picture of you and the team with the empty medal boxes, on that one year anniversary, what are some of the feelings and emotions that you all have, just standing there, reunited as a team, still waiting for a decision on what medal you are going to get.

Evan: So I felt very surprised at how emotional the one year anniversary was. I think as athletes we develop a skill of compartmentalization, and for us in particular, we decided to continue competing, and just having this unresolved massive thing with this Olympic medal was looming over us, we just wouldn't function well if we just thought about it everyday. So, we just buried it. Honestly, like Madi said, we didn't feel like it was talked about much in the media. When one year came around and US Figure Skating put out a statement, so many people were like, "You guys don't have your medals still? Where are your medals?" And we just don't have our medals still. And this photo was taken at Beijing. We have not been reunited as a team since we left Beijing. I'd say more than half the team has moved on, gone to college, gotten married. The life of an Olympic athlete, the career of an Olympic athlete is short, and the opportunities are so few and far between. They only come once every four years. So to leave without the ceremony, without the medal, was a huge deal, and I know it will come, I know we will get our medal eventually, but the moment has passed, and that's the part that is maybe just still a little bit bitter.

Moderator: On the positive side, it looks like you channeled it into your competition this year, world championship, ISU first place as well in team competition, and some personal news between the two of you.

Madi: Yes, we're engaged! We got engaged last summer after our touring had come to an end and we just went on vacation and, it was very romantic, but since then we've been really enjoying getting back to training and we still have big goals and lots of passion for our sport and we want to continue to inspire future skaters and just show that if you have the passion and the drive you can accomplish anything. That's, for us, what's really important, and it's something we've grown to love is the longevity and the aspect of how much you can learn as you continue to mature as athletes.

Evan: I would add, we've been at this a long time, and now we're starting to really enjoy some success, like a world title a few weeks ago, but it's more like, the journey is the destination. The people that we've become and the things that we overcame together and the way that it has bonded us and contributed to our relationship today is the most meaningful thing. The medal is important, but it's the most important thing. I feel like this is just an unprecedented event in Olympic history. As athletes growing up, there's an unspoken promise that we come the competition and if we do well, we leave with a medal. That is something we always took for granted. Never in a million years could we have guessed that this scenario would take place This isn't the type of Olympic history we wanted to be a part of. I know it will be resolved, but we've learned to hold on to the intangible things more than the medals.

Madi: In a way, maybe it will end up being more impactful cause people will be inspired to have clean performances and be rewarded for them. I think it's a real tragedy when that becomes overshadowed by other things.

Question: Obviously this is a tragedy and the sort of thing we worry about here. Were you aware of or concerned about doping in your sport prior to your personal experience? And if so, what types of doping substances were being used in your sport at the time and perhaps now?

Evan: I think it wasn't the first instance of doping in figure skating dating back to Sochi, we had another competitor have a positive test in I think 2016 or 17 for meldonium. Heading into the Games and not thinking about them, not necessarily concerned about that, I think there is a part of the culture of figure skating that there is doping happening, and I think it's not something that's expected from the casual fan. I'll tell a story quickly, we were drug tested right before we left for our US Championships this January. We were having dinner and our doorbell rang and a couple from Quebec came and drug tested us. We had just gone to the bathroom so we had to wait a while. So we started chatting and they said, what sport are you? We said figure skating and they said, lucky there's not much doping in your sport. And I said, "Funny you should say that, because we are waiting for our Olympic medals because of doping."

I just think that speaks to the fact that doping is not what we all think, well you al know, but to the layperson out there, doping is not something you would associate with figure skating. But in Sochi, the curler tested positive for doping. It's unfortunately happening in all sports and I think that's why we appreciate so much the thoroughness of your work because most people wouldn't look under every rock and stone and we know that you are.

Question: If you think back at the time before you started to win, I guess you were also tested a lot. How was the perception of the antidopng movement back then? Was it something positively viewed on? Was it annoying? If you could back to that time, what could be done to motivate the athletes who aren't necessarily winning the medals but are still subjected to antidoping testing.

Madi: Well, I think in part it's an honor to be part of the doping test pool because you know that you're reaching a level in your sport that's being now looked at and investigated, and it's kinda like the elite get tested. For us, for me personally, I was excited to be include din that pool of elite athletes. And now, being very familiar with the doping protocal and getting doped randomly, and after competition. I appreciate the process even more. It's certainly not a burden and one I'm hapy to take part in because I know how important it is and how much it impacts the clean athletes all around the world.

Evan: Yeah, I think, maybe as athletes, we can speak more positively publicly about the antidoping system because as now, we're mature athletes, we recognize now the significance of having a robust antidoping process, and how that is the foundation for the entire system the athlete needs to have absolute faith in. When there is just a modicum of doubt about the integrity of the system, then everything staarts to fall apart. I think now that we've been kind of entwined in this doping scandal, I think, obviously, our storeis have changed, but I would love to be part of that voice of an athlete who says that the antidoping system is a great thing. They're not trying to get you. They're just trying to preserve the integrity of the sport so we all have an equal chance at a gold medal.

Question: Do you think this situation in Beijing is going to be an eye-opener in your discipline about doping or it seems to be an isolated situation and life moves on with the same perception of doping in ice skating.

Evan: I think the outcome will determine some of that. It's certainly been, in the moment, it felt like a huge story. When we were in Beijing, it felt like it was plastered across every outlet around the world. I would say, I would have thought that about Sochi, I thought that what happened in Sochi was so big that that would have been the tipping point. We have said that we hope this is the tipping point that will change the perception of organized doping, but I don't know.

Question: One of the things that has come up with this situation is the influence of coaches, and obviously you guys have been through different coaches, because we often blame the athlete, but it's often the support system around them. Can you comment on the influence that coaches have, especially in your sport.

Madi: Coaches have a tremendous effect on the athletes. They're really the role models and mentors we look up to, especially if you're a young athlete, up and coming in your sport. The coaches are huge aspects of how you become molded as an athlete, what's ingrained in your values, your mentality. So having knowledgeable coaches and supportive coaches is life changing. Coming from many different coaches and experiencing the different styles and techniques and tactics, I can say that the more you can support the athlete and nature them as a person and not just an athlete, the more success that has seen, in my experience.

Evan: And I think, this particular case is unique, because a minor is the athlete involved. In that instance, we have to look at the people around that athlete and we have a certain amount of empathy for the athlete in question, because a fifteen year old minor, and we know what the culture of sport is, and being a young athlete. You want to be a people pleaser and a star student, and I think, very often, maybe not very often, occasionally, athletes can be put in very compromising situations. We're all for athlete empowerment and protection of athletes, and certainly, minors.

Question: It's shown that the antidoping system is kinda working. You have Sochi, which ended up exposing institutionalized doping. Valieva, who tested positive, but no one knew about it, it was delayed. So the system itself is working from a research perspective, but from an athlete perspective, where do you think the human capital and frailty has failed you, including the bureaucracy. What message would you send to sport leaders across the world, including in this room, what needs to be improved in terms of human capital and bureaucracy and doping.

Evan: I think it goes beyond the lab and the testing. As athletes, now with the experience we've been through, we see the need for robust legal processes that are going to ensure that fairplay is upheld in the court of law. That is something we didn't expect when we left Beijing. The timetable that has passed, deadlines that haven't been meant, and it's difficult because we go to these competitions, and we have press conferences, and all year, we're being asked about our team medal. We just shrug our shoulders and say, we don't know. I think the transparency, Madi said, good governance, accountability, the pillars of the Olympic movement that they speak about, should be upheld.

[triposzt]

The Dreadnoughts - Roll and Go (2022) / Green Willow (2023) double album review

For the first English post of this blog, why not make a review of my new favourite band's last two albums? It's a bit late, I know, I originally wanted to make one about "Roll and Go", but never got around to do it, so when I heard that a new album is coming out this year, I thought "hey, now is the time to combine the two reviews into one post!" And I'm still freakin' late with this again!

But anyway, let's start the story from the beginning.

At least a decade ago, the first two songs I've heard from The Dreadnoughts were "Sleep Is For The Weak" and "Randy-Dandy-Oh" - no idea whether I found them randomly or someone showed them to me, but I liked both… and then kinda forgot to listen to any of their other songs for a while 😄 Then, fast-forward to approximately early 2020, when at work I was browsing for music, listened to one of the previously mentioned two and through the "related songs" links, found "Gintlemen's Club" (unsurprisingly from the same 2011 album "Polka's Not Dead")…and BAM! Immediately I was like "This is awesome, why haven't I listened to them for ages? Let's discover more!" And I did… and that's why I was anticipating the 2022 spring release of the new album Roll and Go even more. Let's see how it turned out:

ROLL AND GO (release date: June 24, 2022)

1 - Cider Jar [7/10] Hold up, a booze-infused version of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"? That's ridiculously brilliant! 😃 Cider Jar serves as a short intro to the album and the closing "arr-oh-arr" just flows right on to the next track, which…

2 - Cider Holiday [7.5/10] …was the first track released from the album and in all honesty, did not hit me in the sweet spot back then, but has grown on me since. The prose-like bridge part gives it a unique flavour, and speaking of flavour, the song itself just makes me wanna drink cider or visit the West Country. Or both, preferably.

3 - The Rodney Rocket [8/10] You never know where artists can find an inspiration for a song. Sometimes, it might be a video about an old alcoholic Canadian fella having fun with some snowy extreme sports in Rodney, Ontario 😁 The Rodney Rocket is easy to sing (mostly due to its percussion-heavy background and the L-C-B-O chant in the chorus), plus the tempo changes well along with the story - the silly-sounding words in the lyrics (dickered, hullabaloo) and a callback to "Fire Marshal Willy" are just the icing on the cake. What's not to like?

4 - Problem [10/10] Second track to come out as a single and I instantly loved it. Somehow it's just perfect: the repeating "Problem" at the end of lines, occasionally replaced by various - and hilarious! - sound effects, both the beat and the inserted Polish lyrics obviously referencing Sleep Is For the Weak, the backstory of the song, it all just culminates in this masterpiece. The music video is weird enough, although it does not reach such heights, but anyway, who the fuck cares, we are here to listen to songs, not watch them. Problem?

5 - Brisbane Harbour [8.5/10] A worthy continuation of true sea shanties like "Whup! Jamboree" and "Eliza Lee", and one which surely makes any listener's fingers and feet tap to the rhythm.

6 - Battleford 1885 [8/10] The shortest "normal" track on the album, and its title was intriguing to me when I first saw it - turns out, music can be educational (duh), because Battleford 1885 sheds some light on a tragic event of indigenous people in Canada (here's the post about the background of the song). Oh, and the ascending drum in the background of the bridge is just… *chef's kiss*

7 - The Storm [9/10] Beautiful, just beautiful, equally eerie and empowering, with an instrumental break inspired by Greek bouzouki tunes. If the previous song was about the story of oppressed people rising up against their masters, then this one puts you right in those people's mindset. Well done. And I'll be forever grateful for the Substack post about The Storm for introducing Smokey Bastard's "Baba Yaga" to me, I fell in love at first listening.

8 - Vicki's Polka [7.5/10] Judging by the title only, I thought this was going to be the obligatory instrumental track, but then again, I might have been misled by "Clavdia's Waltz". Instead, Vicki's Polka is rather a love story spanning decades, featuring references to the band's 2010 hit "Polka Never Dies" and the popular folk song "Who Stole the Keeshka?". Assisted by some top folk musicians, the bounciness of this true polka track slows down only near the end, when it's time to say goodbye to the titular Vicki, sadly taken away by the Covid-19 pandemic. Goddamnit, 2020.

9 - Scrumpy-O [8/10] You've been listening to the songs of the album in order and you're missing the amount of alcohol in the lyrics for a while? Worry not, Scrumpy-O definitely has your back. Just grab some locally made and/or rough cider (that's what "scrumpy" means), learn the words to the chorus, and raise your bottle to the sky!

10 - Tuika [7/10] Now this is the instrumental track I thought Vicki's Polka was gonna be. The frequently changing speed of the song makes you imagine dancing arm-in-arm with someone at one moment, then jumping into a mosh pit at another. (P.s.: if anyone has an idea what the title means, let me know, I could only find a politician from American Samoa by this name.)

11 - Dusty Ground [9/10] One of my favourites from the album, a very well executed song. Listen to how the tempo decelerates almost into melancholy in the third verse and then turns back up for the last chorus, just fantastic. The lyrics… likewise. If I'm not mistaken, they are meant to convey the transience of life via a clever metaphor: the ever-thirsty ground, which swallows us up like water. Well, all right, I might have taken a peek at the origin story of the track ;)

12 - Bold Reilly [5.5/10] Honestly, out of the thirteen tracks, this is the song that resonated the least with me. I wouldn't say it's bad or anything, just… Too repetitive? Too slow? I don't know. Also, being "the worst song of a Dreadnoughts album" is still a pretty high level 😁 And it has a reference to Randy Dandy-Oh, nice!

13 - Roll and Go [8.5/10] For some reason, I classified the trio of The Storm, Dusty Ground, and this closing track as giving the same vibes - no idea why I feel the similarity, at the very least Dusty Ground is notably quicker. Anyway, all three songs are unique enough for me to love each of them. Roll and Go provides a fine closure to this wonderful album: the musical background resembles a marching band (here I am giving praise to the percussion section yet again 👏), the lyrics emanate the feeling of brotherhood, and the ending slowly fades with the promise of a "fine and lucky day". Amen to that!

Overall: this was easily the release of the year for me. Usually when I listen to an entire album for the first time, the tracks don't really have their own "identity" in the beginning, and the whole thing is just a raw, big mess. Not this time! A few tracks stood out instantly and I grew to love the rest even more. Roll and Go turning out to be that awesome, given the difficulties the band had to face while recording, just proves how talented these guys are. I'll be sure to mention this album when people ask me about my favourites. Verdict: 8.5/10

GREEN WILLOW (release date: March 14, 2023)

1 - We Shepherds are the Best of Men [8/10] A proper start to the album, with a great rhythm and an even better chorus. Apparently, it's an older folk piece, which has a few versions with different lyrics, but The Dreadnoughts are the first "modern" band to cover it. And oh boy, they did it well! (One small caveat though: the grammar nazi inside me is so bothered by the "We drinks our liquor freely and pays before we go" part every time 😅)

2 - Hej Sokoły (Zal za Ukraina) [9.5/10] I see two great reasons why this track was chosen as the initial single of the album. Firstly, this song is an absolute earworm. I mean, so dangerously addictive, it can be stuck in your head for a day! Secondly, it's dedicated to the people fighting for Ukraine, and whoever has listened to The Dreadnoughts' songs knows that Eastern Europe has a special place in their pool of inpsirations. Accordingly, Hey Sokoły covers a popular old Polish-Ukrainian folk song, and frankly, I just can't ever get enough of Polish lyrics in the band's songs - no wonder the band fell in love with the suggestion of this cover. Highlight: as the last verse slows down and then builds up into the energetic last chorus… goosebumps, goosebumps every time.

3 - Rigs of the Time [7/10] It's like a good worker who does not yearn for promotion but is never in danger of getting laid off - not necessarily oustanding in his field, but someone who is trustworthy and does his job well. It has a message and a great chorus. You need tracks like this on your album. (Ironically, the song is about dishonest tradesmen, but still, that's the metaphor I chose. Also, the whole "blaming the rising prices on the war" thing is too real nowadays.)

4 - Roll the Old Chariot Along [8.5/10] This song is apparently covered by a few artists, but I don't recall hearing it before I listened to the album - only since then, but for that, the almighty Algorithm might be the one to "blame". Anyway, I remember instantly liking it upon the first listening and my opinion remains unchanged: what a fantastic and catchy tune! "And we'll all hang on behind!" (P.s.: Lads, there's a missing verse - and some other confusion - of the lyrics on the Bandcamp page.)

5 - The Foggy Dew [7/10] A classic Irish ballad, full of historical references (one of which could even be meant as a hint to "The Bay of Suvla"), so far it was only familiar to me because Dropkick Murphys used it as the opening instrumental for their shows (The Chieftains version to be exact). The lack of repeated parts and intricate rhythm of the verses makes it very difficult to sing along, but nevertheless it's a beautiful rendition.

6 - Twankidillo [7.5/10] "Half of you are going to hate it, it’s fucking weird." That's the premise I've read before I even listened to the song… and I didn't even mention the strange title. 😄 *1st listening*: They were right, what the hell is this? *2nd listening*: Okay, it IS weird, but certainly catchy… *3rd listening*: "Here's to old coal, and to young coal and to no coal at aaaaaaaaallll!" Yep, it grows on you. It's another cover of a traditional folk song (like all tracks except one), and if you haven't noticed, the lyrics also contain a reference to the album name. Yay!

7 - Spanish Ladies [7/10] Sorry guys, I have absolutely been in love with Sarah Blasko's version of this song for years, and I don't think anything can change that. To be fair though, this cover is more sea shanty-esque, if you close your eyes, you can almost visualize the crew hauling ropes or heaving the capstan around.

8 - The Unquiet Grave [8/10] Upon seeing the tracklist, this was the title that stood out the most for me - and damn, it did not disappoint, especially storywise. This tale of love beyond the grave has been sung for centuries, I haven't heard it before, but I must say that The Dreadnoughts have really managed to capture the appropriate eerie vibe which surely gives you the chills. (Bonus funfact for anyone who's familiar with the band's discography: this track was first intended for the 2017 album "Foreign Skies".)

9 - Apple Tree Wassail [8.5/10] Don't believe Google Translate saying "wassail" is an Arabic word, this catchy track is actually a blessing ritual for apple trees in hope of a good crop to make cider from… although the mental image in my head is stuck halfway between an orchard and a mosh pit due to the song's fast pace. Hell, I hope at some point I'll have the chance to hear it live and jump around like a maniac. (Please come to Hungary!) (P.s.: The "Let every man drink up his glass" line is possibly a callback to "Spanish Ladies", am I right?)

10 - Roll Northumbria (Loud Version, sometimes called "Heavy Version") [7.5/10] Green Willow features nine covers of traditional folk pieces and a reboot of one of the band's earlier songs… yep, this closing track is the reboot one. What I said previously about Spanish Ladies, can be applied here as well - I like the original so much that no newer cover can surpass that, even if it's from the same band. Also, I think the original's slow and dark vibe is more fitting to the topic of the song, but if there's one place where the heavy/loud version could be used, it's concerts. The final drum beats provide a great ending to the album.

Overall: When I first listened to the entire album, I thought "maybe Roll and Go set the bar too high", although my reception of Green Willow has improved well since then, as it can be seen in the ratings. A shorter collection of tracks than its predecessor, but it has a bit of everything from patriotic through silly to haunting, while covering well-known and lesser-known folk songs. I know an album a year would probably be too much to ask, so I'll just patiently wait for some fresh stuff from The Dreadnoughts! Verdict: 8/10

Thanks for reading! 😊

[mitchbeck]

ANDREW LORD NAMED ECHL COACH OF THE YEAR

Fourth-year bench boss becomes first in both franchise and Greenville hockey history to receive recognition By: Mark Binetti, Greenville Swamp Rabbits GREENVILLE, SC—The ECHL announced today that Andrew Lord, Head Coach/General Manager of the Greenville Swamp Rabbits, a proud ECHL affiliate of the NHL's Los Angeles Kings, received the John Brophy Award as the ECHL's Coach of the Year. Lord, who finished as runner-up for the award in his first season in 2021, becomes the first coach in both franchise and Greenville professional hockey history to receive the league's honor. The John Brophy Award is presented annually to the ECHL coach who has contributed the most to his team's success. The coach is chosen by ECHL coaches, broadcasters, media relations directors, and media members. The trophy is named for John Brophy, who won a record three ECHL titles with Hampton Roads in 1991, 1992, and 1998 and was inducted into the ECHL Hall of Fame in 2009. This season, Lord guided the Swamp Rabbits to a 44-23-4-1 record and 93 points in the standings, claiming the organization's first South Division Championship in over a decade with a second straight 40-win campaign. Additionally, the Swamp Rabbits earned their 30th win of the season in just 42 games, the fastest pace ever in Greenville professional hockey history. They won eight straight road games from November 14th to December 9th, a new franchise record. By holding the highest win percentage in the Eastern Conference before the Christmas break, Lord was named one of two coaches of the ECHL All-Star Team for the 2024 ECHL All-Star Classic in January. "I'm extremely honored to receive this award from the ECHL. It's truly humbling," said Lord. "A recognition like this is a true testament to the organization that we have here in Greenville. From Assistant Coach Kyle Mountain, Video Coach River Pease, our support staff in Alec Muise and AJ Smith, our players, front office, and ownership, this is a collective effort and a true reflection of our culture and determination to be better both on the ice and in the community. I'm grateful to Jeff Dickerson, our owner, Todd Mackin, Tim Vieira, our President, and everyone who made this season possible. It's a true honor, and I'm thankful for the ECHL's recognition." Over four years in the Upstate, Lord has compiled a 155-94-30-9 record in 288 games, a 0.606 win percentage. He's led the Swamp Rabbits to the Kelly Cup Playoffs each season, reaching as far as the 2021 Eastern Conference Finals in his first campaign. "I couldn't be prouder of Andrew in receiving this honor from the ECHL. It is very much well deserved," said Todd Mackin, President of Spire Holdings. "It was apparent during our hiring process four years ago that Andrew had what it takes to transform our team into one of the most competitive in the entire ECHL. He tirelessly works with his staff to build a team that's worthy of representing our community and competing amongst the best in the league. Back-to-back 40-win seasons, postseason qualification each year, and over a dozen players promoted to the American Hockey League only scratches the surface of where his career trajectory will take him. We are grateful for everything he's done for our team, both on and off the ice. I look forward to watching him continue this excellence as he pursues our first Kelly Cup Championship as an organization." Before joining Greenville before the 2020-21 season, Lord led the Cardiff Devils of the Elite Ice Hockey League to nine separate titles, including three Conference championships, two Challenge Cup championships, two League titles, and two Playoff championships. As the winningest coach in Devils history, he led the team to a 221-75-22 record across his six seasons as head coach. Before entering the coaching ranks, Lord enjoyed a lengthy professional hockey career out of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI). He spent ten seasons in the pro ranks, totaling 462 games. His best work as a pro was done in the EIHL, where he scored 173 points in 216 games, all with Cardiff. "Coach Lord epitomizes what it takes to be the best at his craft. The accountability and urgency he brings to our team make us better as an organization, not only on the ice, but off the ice and in the community," said Tim Vieira, Swamp Rabbits President. "Working with him is an immense privilege. His leadership of our men on the ice and our support staff has been evident from the very first day we worked together – and this recognition is a culmination of that dedication since day one. From coaching the ECHL All-Stars, to setting team records, and elevating everyone around him, there is no one more deserving of this honor." The Swamp Rabbits, 2024 South Division Champions, now look forward to the beginning of the 2024 Kelly Cup Playoffs, taking on the Orlando Solar Bears in the South Division Semifinals. Game 1 of the best-of-seven series is Sunday, April 21st, slated for a 3:05 p.m. EST puck drop at Bon Secours Wellness Arena. John Brophy Award Winners (ECHL Coach of the Year) 2023-24 Andrew Lord, Greenville Swamp Rabbits 2022-23 Everett Sheen, Idaho Steelheads 2021-22 Jeff Pyle, Atlanta Gladiators 2020-21 Bruce Ramsay, Wichita Thunder 2019-20 Steve Bergin, South Carolina Stingrays 2018-19 Matt Thomas, Cincinnati Cyclones 2017-18 Brad Ralph, Florida Everblades 2016-17 Dan Watson, Toledo Walleye 2015-16 Richard Matvichuk, Missouri Mavericks 2014-15 Derek Lalonde, Toledo Walleye 2013-14 Spencer Carbery, South Carolina Stingrays 2012-13 Jarrod Skalde, Cincinnati Cyclones 2011-12 Rob Murray, Alaska Aces and John Wroblewski, Gwinnett Gladiators 2010-11 Brent Thompson, Alaska Aces 2009-10 Derek Laxdal, Idaho Steelheads 2008-09 Rick Kowalsky, Trenton Devils 2007-08 Chuck Weber, Cincinnati Cyclones 2006-07 Davis Payne, Alaska Aces 2005-06 Glen Gulutzan, Las Vegas Wranglers 2004-05 Nick Vitucci, Toledo Storm 2003-04 Pat Bingham, Wheeling Nailers 2002-03 Claude Noel, Toledo Storm 2001-02 Dave Farrish, Louisiana Ice Gators 2000-01 Troy Ward, Trenton Titans 1999-00 Bob Ferguson, Florida Everblades 1998-99 Bob Ferguson, Florida Everblades 1997-98 Chris Nilan, Chesapeake IceBreakers 1996-97 Brian McCutcheon, Columbus Chill 1995-96 Roy Sommer, Richmond Renegades 1994-95 Jim Playfair, Dayton Bombers 1993-94 Barry Smith, Knoxville Cherokees 1992-93 Kurt Kleinendorst, Raleigh IceCaps 1991-92 Doug Sauter, Winston-Salem Thunderbirds 1990-91 Don Jackson, Knoxville Cherokees 1989-90 Dave Allison, Virginia Lancers 1988-89 Ron Hansis, Erie Panthers About the Greenville Swamp Rabbits … Acquired by Spire Sports + Entertainment (SS+E) in 2020, the Greenville Swamp Rabbits hockey team has been providing family-friendly, live entertainment at Bon Secours Wellness Arena since 2010. Formerly, the Greenville Road Warriors and the Swamp Rabbits are the highest-level professional minor league franchise in South Carolina. The Swamp Rabbits are the proud ECHL affiliate of the NHL's LA Kings and the AHL'sLAntario Reign. Greenville is a ECHL, Premier' AA' Hockey League member. GREENVILLEAA'AMP RABBITS HOWLINGS Read the full article

[ledenews]

Adam Smith Departs Nailers for Czech Republic

The Wheeling Nailers, proud ECHL affiliate of the Pittsburgh Penguins, have announced that defenseman Adam Smith has elected to leave the team and continue his career in Europe with HC Oceláři Třinec, who plays in the Czech Extraliga, which is the top hockey league in the Czech Republic. Smith, 26, came to the Nailers just after the start of the 2020-21 season, and spent the majority of the next three campaigns with the club. Adam was a key player both on the ice and in the locker room, as he was part of the team's leadership group and was an alternate captain in two of his three seasons. The Sharon, Ontario native saw his productivity increase each year, and he finished his Wheeling career with 13 goals, 40 assists, 53 points, and a +26 rating in 152 games. Smith earned AHL playing time in each of the last two seasons as well, as he appeared in seven games with the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins, while starting on an ECHL contract. Additionally, he earned the Nailers 2021-22 Community Award. "We are very thankful for three special seasons with Adam, as he played a major role in helping to change the culture of our team," said Nailers Head Coach Derek Army. "We would have loved to have had him finish this season here with us, but our organization takes pride in helping players advance in their careers, and this will be a big step for him." Adam joins HC Oceláři Třinec, who is currently ranked fourth in the Czech Extraliga with 67 points. HC Oceláři Třinec is the defending champion, as it defeated Sparta Praha in six games in last year's final. There are five former NHL players on the team's roster - Marko Dano, Jakub Jerabek, Martin Marincin, Marek Mazanec, and Andrej Nestrasil. "I am so fortunate to have had the privilege of playing for the Wheeling Nailers," Smith said. "Wheeling was always a special place that I was sad to leave and excited to return to. I want to thank Brian Komorowski and Derek Army for helping me develop as a player, a teammate and a person. Only those in it can understand how special the culture they've created is. I'm forever grateful to have gotten to wear the Nailers uniform and play in front of Nailers Army. Wheeling will forever feel like home." Wheeling has suspended Smith, so that it is able to retain his ECHL rights. The Nailers will return home this weekend, where they will play five of their next six games. The first of those contests is a Frosty Friday against the Iowa Heartlanders on February 3rd at 7:10. Iowa will be the opponent the next night as well, which is Pups & Pucks Night at 7:10 on February 4th, when fans are invited to bring their dogs to the game. The next Big 6 Promotional Night is also part of this home stretch. That is Pittsburgh Penguins Night, starring Tyler Kennedy, Jean-Sébastien Aubin, and François Leroux. Ticket packages and single game tickets are available for the 2022-23 season by visiting wheelingnailers.com or calling (304) 234-GOAL. The Wheeling Nailers, considered one of the top things to do in Wheeling, West Virginia, provide affordable family entertainment for fans throughout the Ohio Valley. Read the full article

[newstfionline]

Friday, December 30, 2022

In Much of the South, Subfreezing Weather Crippled Water Systems (NYT) As soon as he saw that temperatures would nosedive to subfreezing lows over the Christmas weekend, Richard White had a strong hunch about the trouble it would spell for his community in Mississippi even after the ice had thawed: Frozen pipes would burst, and water in the system would stop flowing. Sure enough, that’s what happened. It was the same across much of the Southeast, where the bitter cold was long gone—the high in Byram skirted 70 degrees on Wednesday—but the fallout from the recent winter storm endured in the form of broken pipes, disrupted water systems and widespread aggravation. Byram, which relies on Jackson’s long-troubled municipal water system, has been under a boil-water advisory for several days, as are hundreds of thousands of people in Memphis after more than three dozen water main breaks there. In Charleston, S.C., officials warned that the storm thrust the water system alarmingly close to catastrophe. In Selma, Ala., a series of major leaks led the mayor to declare a state of emergency. Pipes also burst at the airports in Atlanta and Birmingham, Ala., inserting yet another bump into a holiday travel season transformed into an obstacle course of cancellations and delays.

Americans abroad (Washington Post) We all know that America is a nation of immigrants (with the obvious exception of its long-marginalized Native population). But every so often, it feels like it’s on the verge of becoming a nation of emigrants. According to recent Gallup polls, as many as 15 percent of Americans say they want to leave the country permanently, and even more say they would consider expatriating under the right circumstances. But only a small fraction of Americans have actually taken the plunge, data shows. While the United States is the top destination for immigrants worldwide, hosting about three times as many immigrants as runners-up Germany and Saudi Arabia, it’s a paltry 26th in terms of sending immigrants abroad. Our analysis of U.N. data finds that just one American emigrates for every six Indians or four Mexicans. The United Nations and World Bank estimate the population of American-born people abroad at around 2.8 million as of 2020.

Mexico draws more asylum-seekers despite grisly violence (AP) Albert Rivera knows well how dangerous Mexico can be: He sometimes wears a bulletproof vest around the compound of bright yellow buildings that he built into one of the nation’s largest migrant shelters. His phone stores more evidence in the form of stomach-churning videos that gangs sent migrants to warn of consequences for disobeying demands. But across town from the Agape Mision Mundial shelter, many migrants are grateful for a chance to settle here. That’s where Mexico’s asylum office greets foreigners who consider the border city of Tijuana a relatively safe place to live with an abundance of jobs. The jarring contrast speaks to Mexico’s conflicted status. It is a country where violence and inequality chase many people to seek a better life in the United States. For others it offers a measure of peace and prosperity beyond what’s available in their homelands.

After presidency, unclear fate for Brazil’s brash Bolsonaro (AP) Jair Bolsonaro told supporters that the future could only bring him three possibilities: arrest, death or a second term as Brazil’s president. one of those outcomes came to pass. And his Oct. 30 loss to Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva set off two months of relative silence for the self-styled standard-bearer of the Brazilian conservative movement. Bolsonaro’s oft-cited motto is “God, Family, Country,” and as president he handed more power to the armed forces and loosened gun restrictions. Many of Bolsonaro’s far-right supporters remain in his thrall and have camped outside military buildings, pleading futilely for army intervention that would keep the president in power. But Bolsonaro authorized his chief-of-staff to preside over the transition process, and moving trucks have started showing up at the presidential palace and residence.

Britain’s Soaring Energy Costs Strain Crisis Responders (NYT) The day after an arctic blast of air hit Britain, plunging temperatures below freezing and blanketing the country in frost, a 72-year-old man finally got through to the advice phone line of Warm and Well, a charitable service in Gloucestershire, in the west of England. The man, whose name was not disclosed, said he had been calling for days and leaving voice mail messages with the nonprofit, which provides advice and emergency funds for people struggling to pay their energy bills. Teresa Hewitt, the energy adviser who answered his call, could only commiserate. “We are absolutely overwhelmed at the moment,” she told him. She was one of seven staff members answering the phones that day in early December who were attempting to field 71 calls. Across Britain this winter, more people are falling into debt and sitting in cold or damp homes as a result of rising energy bills, which have helped push the country’s inflation rate above 10 percent. This sharp increase in what is called “fuel poverty,” when 10 percent of household income is spent on energy bills, is stretching the resources of charities that provide free advice, emergency funds or resources to get access to heat.

Sarajevo’s agony echoes as Ukraine braces for a dark winter SARAJEVO, Bosnia-Herzegovina (AP)—Vildana Mutevelić huddled in her apartment with her two young children and elderly cousins. They had no heat, electricity or running water as artillery shells tore the roof off their building and almost took their lives. To survive, she improvised. Mutevelić made a lamp out of used engine oil, water and a shoelace for a wick. She cooked on a fire fueled by books, furniture, shoes or clothes. A plastic spoon, she discovered, when lit, worked well as a temporary flashlight if she ventured outside. Plastic sheets covered the blown-out windows, a flimsy buffer against the bitter cold. Her news of the world came from a neighbor who powered a radio with a car battery. “The electricity failed right away,” Mutevelić, 70, said through a translator. “And everything we had in our freezers, it melted. Those were our stocks, basically. That’s all.” For Mutevelić, these are memories from three decades ago, when Bosnian Serbs besieged Sarajevo, causing thousands of civilian casualties. But it’s all happening again in Ukraine. Russia’s armed forces have aimed their firepower at Ukraine’s energy infrastructure as winter weather sets in.

Hard-Line Positions by Russia and Ukraine Dim Hope for Peace Talks (NYT) As the battle for Ukraine turns into a bloody, mile-by-mile fight in numbing cold, Ukrainian and Russian officials have insisted that they are willing to discuss making peace. But with a drumbeat of statements in recent days making clear that each side’s demands are flatly unacceptable to the other, there appears to be little hope for serious negotiations in the near future. Ukraine this week proposed a “peace” summit by the end of February, but said Russia could participate only if it first faces a war-crimes tribunal. That drew a frosty response from the Kremlin, with Foreign Minister Sergey V. Lavrov saying that Kyiv must accept all of Russia’s demands, including that it give up four Ukrainian regions that Moscow claims to have annexed. “Otherwise,” he said, “the Russian Army will deal with this issue.” The hard-line positions suggest that both sides believe they have more to gain on the battlefield, analysts say.

Lack of info on China’s COVID-19 surge stirs global concerns (AP) Moves by the U.S., Japan and others to mandate COVID-19 tests for passengers arriving from China reflect global concern that new variants could emerge in its ongoing explosive outbreak—and the government may not inform the rest of the world quickly enough. There have been no reports of new variants to date. But given the country’s track record, the worry is that China may not be sharing data on any signs of evolving strains that could spark fresh outbreaks elsewhere. The U.S., in announcing a negative test requirement Wednesday for passengers from China, cited both the surge in infections and what it said was a lack of information, including the genomic sequencing of the virus strains in the country.

U.S. Scrambles to Stop Iran From Providing Drones for Russia (NYT) The Biden administration has embarked on a broad effort to halt Iran’s ability to produce and deliver drones to Russia for use in the war in Ukraine, an endeavor that has echoes of its yearslong program to cut off Tehran’s access to nuclear technology. In interviews in the United States, Europe and the Middle East, a range of intelligence, military and national security officials have described an expanding U.S. program that aims to choke off Iran’s ability to manufacture the drones, make it harder for the Russians to launch the unmanned “kamikaze” aircraft and—if all else fails—to provide the Ukrainians with the defenses necessary to shoot them out of the sky. The breadth of the effort has become clearer in recent weeks. The administration has accelerated its moves to deprive Iran of the Western-made components needed to manufacture the drones being sold to Russia after it became apparent from examining the wreckage of intercepted drones that they are stuffed with made-in-America technology.

Netanyahu government: West Bank settlements top priority (AP) Benjamin Netanyahu’s incoming hard-line Israeli government put West Bank settlement expansion at the top of its priority list on Wednesday, vowing to legalize dozens of illegally built outposts and annex the occupied territory as part of its coalition deal with ultranationalist allies. The coalition agreements, released a day before the government is to be sworn into office, also included contentious judicial reforms, as well as generous stipends for ultra-Orthodox men who prefer to study instead of work. The package laid the groundwork for what is expected to be a stormy beginning for the country’s most religious and right-wing government in history, potentially putting it at odds with large parts of the Israeli public, rankling Israel’s closest allies and escalating tensions with the Palestinians.