#like 15-16. i think this says everything you need to know about my situation

[linabirb]

pros and cons of buying stuff for yourself and not asking your parents to buy it for you as an unemployed uni student

pros: YOU'RE SO COOL AND YOU'RE SO MATURE AND YOU'RE FINALLY FEELING MORE INDEPENDENT AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL LIKE A BURDEN TO YOUR WHOLE FAMILY BC YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB YAY YAY!!

cons: now you're the one who's losing money and not your parents. and you still don't have a job. and your therapist told you that you should earn money to move out and not to buy silly little merch. not yay yay

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Top 15 Maiko moments

Since I made a Kataang list, and I think it's only fair I do it for Maiko too.

#15 - Casually leaning against each other during a meal (03x05)

I'm starting off the list with the neverending trend that is "Maiko being unbelievably clingy."

I just can't deal witht he fact that these two both have demonstrated some difficulty/discomfort when other people get too touchy with them - yet you leave them in a room together and these motherfuckers suddenly think they're siamese twins.

They're not even trying to be romantic, they just... naturally gravitated towards each other and stayed in that position because it's what feels familiar and comfortable for them.

I remind you guys that The Beach is the episode in which they are at the most incompatible, yet even that episode is visually showing us "These dumbasses are so in love they just naturally act like a couple without even meaning to."

#14 - "It'll be nice to Zuko again. Won't it, Mai?" & Baby Mai's crush on Baby Zuko (02x03 & 02x07)

I know, I know, I'm cheating with this one because they are two separete moments from two different episodes, but SUE ME, I couldn't pick a favorite between them, and I also didn't want to remove the previous moment from the list, and "Top 16" just doesn't doesn't feel right.

I just love the way Mai is acting all shy whenever she so much as looks at Zuko in "Zuko Alone", how she clearly WANTS to hang out with him but doesn't really know how to start a conversation with him and feels all awkward.

And then years later, in the middle of a mission, she's just... happy that she might see him again, even if it's not in the most ideal situation. It's cute and I love it when Mai is happy and showing some of the emotions that hide behind her apathy for seemingly everything and everyone.

#13 - Grumpy dumbasses at the party (03x05)

On this one, those two just skipped several years ahead and went straight to "Bickering like a couple that has been married for fourty years, are clearly about to fight, yet refuse to get any space because WHY would they want to be away from each other? What a strange notion!"

Seriously, I lost count of how many times my grandparents had that exact same conversation when they're feeling the need to be difficult, and that scene made me have the same reaction I always have during these moments:

They're annoyed at each other, yet they just... refuse to not to be near each other. And Mai's first instinct when she wants something is to tell Zuko to go get it for her, and he does because, once again, they just have no freaking clue how NOT to be a couple (and it took what, fifteen minutes for her to go check on him after their fight because she just doesn't know what the fuck she has to stay for if he's not around? That's a marriage if I've ever seen one).

Also Zuko's line of "That food was for my cranky girlfriend!" makes me laugh every time and it's actually so cute that he wants to spoil his girl even when they're both in a terrible mood.

#12 - First date/kiss (The Lost Adventures Comic)

This moment is just SO. FREAKING. ADORABLE.

The way we see a bit more of Mai's prankester side (girl was friends with Azula and Ty Lee for a reason) and how Zuko can't help but find it endearing, the way they blush and act all unsure of themselves after he touched her shoulder, how Zuko can't even look at her when he admits that he likes seeing her happy and enjoying herself, Mai basically admiting that for a while she did the equivalent of "Little boy pulling at a girl's hair because he likes her and can't deal with it", and then, of course, the kiss. It's all just great.

And I gotta love how this date only happened because Azula set it up because Zuko was acting all angsty and saying he wouldn't go back to the Fire Nation - so she reminds him that something, or rather someone, he REALLY wants wasn't going to be around much longer, and that boy just doesn't hesitate to take the bait.

Also Azula and Ty Lee were HILARIOUS while spying on them, and the irony that Azula is basically playing 3D chess with her brother's love life for her own benefit, only to then accidentally shoot herself in the foot by the events she set in motion is just too good.

I really wish we could have seen this in a flashback during the actual show. It's just not fair that this little gem is hidden away in a comic.

#11 - Mai covering Zuko's eyes (03x05)

Yet another silly, very quick moment that I'm likely the only one obsessing over, but I can't help it, I live for stuff like that. Zuko is on full rage mode for being on the island at all and thus Mai is getting very grumpy and annoyed at him... yet the second they witness the gross sight of Li and Lo in bathing suits, she just covers her boyfriend's eyes to spare him of the horror that is old people who ran out of fucks to give (and that is totally not their own fate when they're Li and Lo's age).

The inherent cuteness of their relationship seeping into every scene, even when they are not on their best moment, is just one of the things I love the most about this ship. If they're not "meant for each other" like some dumbasses insist, then how come they're so married?

Plus it was really funny, and I like it when things are funny. The more it makes me giggle, the higher it goes on the list XD

#10 - First on-screen kiss (03x01)

This moment had me SHOCKED the first time I watched the show. I already thought Mai's crush on Zuko was cute, and I knew the series could make them a couple eventually - but I did not expect them to get together in between seasons. 7-year-old me was like "WAIT, THAT'S ALLOWED?"

Also, I've always loved how that moment started. Zuko is staring dramatically into the horizon, being angsty and walking right into an existential crisis - and Mai just goes "No, we're not doing that." It's just so fucking funny.

And it's also the first exemple of these two being completely unable to keep their hands to themselves. Mai just hugs him, touches his scar, and kisses him, and Zuko, who had trouble even hugging Iroh back, just... lets her. Because he doesn't mind it one bit when she does it.

I just really like how Mai's default way of comforting Zuko is by offering physical affection. It's freaking adorable. Also their "first" kiss happening in a gloomy day, with dark clouds everywhere, yet they're off in their own little world, just happy to be in each other's arms, is "Maiko in a nutshell." Add in some emo music and it becomes the most mid 2000s AMV ever.

#09 - "I'm sorry, Mai" (03x10)

This scene is one that just drives me up the wall with how much I love it. It's such a short little moment, but it's so significant to their relationship. Zuko wants to continue enjoying the life he has at the Fire Nation. He wants all the comfort that comes with being a prince, the approval of his father, the security of knowing he'll always have roof over his head and will one day be Fire Lord - and wants to stay and be with his girlfriend because he LOVES her.

But he can't. Because he knows innocent people will suffer and die if he doesn't stop his father. So he has to leave behind everything he holds dear, including Mai. He can't even say goodbye in person, both because it hurts and because what if something goes wrong and he ends up captured? He can't risk it.

So he leaves her a letter and says aloud an honest apology that he knows she can't hear, because he just HAS to say that he never wanted this.

More importantly though:

That boy heard Azula's mocking comment in "The Avatar And The Fire Lord" and decided "You know what, maybe I should go see the royal painter and bring Mai along so we can have a portrait of us as a couple."

I just love them so much.

#08 - Confrontation at the Boiling Rock (03x15)

This is a BIG one. Mai is obviously pissed at him because of the way he broke up with her, and she cannot understand why the hell ZUKO, someone who has always been so deeply patriotic and a very proud prince is suddenly leaving everything behind to go help out a bunch of traitors.

Zuko stands his ground, and tries to make her understand - and then out of nowhere he just HAS to brag about how awesome she is when a guard offers to protect her. He simply not hesitate to basically say "Oh yeah, she could totally give me a hard time during a fight, ain't that great?" (Also the fact that the show never gave us a moment of them throwing knives together even though Zuko has a knife too is a CRIME).

But, of course, real life has to "ruin" the moment. Zuko sees an oportunity to go help his friends, and escapes the cell, locks the door - and then they just stare into each other's eyes, for what they know might be the last time.

Mai's confusion and rage. Zuko's resolve to do what's right no matter the cost. Just that certainty that, whatever they both decide to do now, it will be final. There's no turning back from this. If their relationship ends that day, it ends FOREVER.

It literally lasts just a few seconds, but it's intense and does such an amazing job of allowing the characters to communicate with each other, and the audience, on what they're feeling.

And it's also the perfect set up for:

#07 - "I love Zuko more than I fear you" (03x15)

Literally NO ONE saw this coming, not even Mai herself, and if you tell me you did I'm gonna call you a liar, because OH MY FUCKING GOD!

Everything went wrong, the good guys are about to get captured, the situation is hopeless... and then in comes Mai, risking it all and taking a huge leap of faith.

She doesn't fully get why Zuko is so sure joining the Avatar will be good for their nation. She doesn't know if that will work out like he hopes. But she trusts him, and allows him to go for it, because she knows HIM, knows all the pain he went through trying to be Ozai's perfect son, and if he wants to throw his "perfect" life away just to be the one actually in charge of it, goddammit, she's on board and will do the same.

She knows there's no way she escapes that place with Zuko, it's too late for that. But she can allow HIM to leave "safely", while she stays behind and faces Azula's wrath - and she doesn't care, because she knows there's NOTHING Azula can do to her that would ever hurt as much as living with the knowledge that she just stood by and watched the downfall of the person she loved the most, that she chose to submit to Azula yet again instead of being her own damn self at long last.

It's the proof of Mai's devotion for Zuko, the moment in which her life became her own again, it's one hell of a plot-twist, and leads to yet ANOTHER epic moment of characters staring at each other with daggers in their eyes (and hands), and it's fucking beautiful!

#06 - Fight and reconciliation by the fire (03x05)

I can't lie, I'm a sucker for characters hitting their breaking point, confronting each other, letting all their rage and pain out - and then one puts everything aside to show some vulnerability and care for the other.

Zuko has not been feeling great about himself, and is taking it out on his girlfriend. Mai is not perfect either, and can't see that even Zuko's more "clueless" actions like giving her a sea-shell that she obviously wouldn't like is just him genuinely trying to be nice to her despite his impulse to act like a jerk, because he CARES.

Zuko is feeling insecure, wants reassurance, but Mai doesn't notice, and so he starts feeling threatened by a guy she full on says might as well not exist in her eyes. It's bad, but it's yet more proof that he CARES.

She goes after him after their fight, they open up a bit, Mai reminds Zuko that his sad life doesn't excuse the way he's been acting and when she stands up for herself against AZULA it just makes Zuko go instant simp mode and try to act all smooth and pull her close with that "I like it when you express yourself" (I can never get over that - boy, I know you're a teenager on vacation with your hot girlfriend that looks so cute when she's mad, you two are not alone yet, keep it in your pants!)

And then it happens. Zuko just loses it, can't deny that he is feeling like he is betraying himself because he no longer knows right from wrong and that is freaking him out because, even when he is firmly on the wrong side, he had ALWAYS been sure of his convictions and what he stands for, but now everything is messy and he doesn't know what he should care for.

Cue Mai deciding to forgive him for his angry outburts, for the unfair accusations, for the general unpleasant atitute, and just give him a bit of the support she now sees he had been needing and wasn't getting. A simple, straight-forward "I care about you", and a kiss - which Zuko eagerly accepts, and he IMMEDIATELY just keeps holding her close, all the fighting forgotten because he still has one source of stability in his life, one person he can rely on to be by his side when he doesn't know what he is doing.

05 - Cuddles and dessert (03x09)

This is the point where it became borderline impossible for me to pick my favorites, and I'll probably regret the order a million times, but I gotta post this already.

I love this scene. I just genuinely adore it with all my heart. Them looking at each other all cute, smiling and unable to keep their hands to themselves, and Zuko just once again showing that he like spoiling his girl by asking a servent to bring something FOR THE LADY. Name literally one other character that has Zuko acting like that - YOU CAN'T! NOT EVEN WHEN HE WENT ON A CUTE DATE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!

The whole vibe is just so domestic and cosy. Literally the only thing that is missing is a cat purring next to them and it'd be my idea of heaven.

#04 - Supportive Mai (03x09)

Nightmares and daydreams really is THE Maiko episode. The fact Zuko goes to Mai's house for comfort and distraction when the meeting he thinks he's been excluded from is happening says a lot about how much she means to him (and for once her parents not being around is a good thing 👀), and then later he opens up to her about what bothered him about being Ozai's perfect son because he trusts her to be there for him. They've truly done some amazing progress after The Beach.

Mai's concern for him is just genuinely touching. Even when she doesn't know exactly what to say or do, she's still trying so hard because she doesn't like seeing Zuko truly down, and that is what made her his safe-space this entire episode.

#03 - "That gloomy girl that sighs a lot?" (03x14)

Look at that boy. LOOK. AT. THAT. BOY.

He is just so smitten and clearly missing her. He LIKES the traits that the fandom insist makes her "unlikeable", that led to characters making fun of her in universe, the coping mechanism she used to protect herself from being hurt by people like her parents - can't get hurt if you don't care.

And Zuko doesn't see it as something she needs to change in herself, something undesirable, something he puts up with. He likes what everyone insists is a flaw of hers, and will so even when being teased about it because he can relate to being moody and angsty and cranky and wouldn't judge her for it because she's the person that consistently likes that about him too.

#02 - "You're so beautiful when you hate the world" (03x02)

This was the moment that made them one of my favorite Avatar ships. These two just not giving a fuck if that they're being embarrassing and cringy and just judging the whole world together and being disgusted by everything except each other. Not only is it a funny, wholesome moment, it is THE most accurate portrayal of a teen romance I've ever seen in my life. Just two dumbasses being in love and saying whatever nonsense they want, and kind of relating to each other for it.

Also them just basically telling Azula to fuck off because they wanna keeping making out was amazing.

01 - Reunited at the end (03x21)

Once again. Look at that boy. Just you LOOK. AT. THAT. BOY.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They're so cute. They're so happy. It's literally what their entire romantic arc in season three had been building up to and I'm forever greateful that the writers didn't rob us, and them, of it just because the fandom can't appreciate a good thing even as it stares them right in the face.

They're both finally on the same page, ready to support each other no matter what, with nothing and no one standing on their way, and allowing themselves to just enjoy their love. It's what they deserve.

[badbatchsprincess]

Heated - pt.2

Pt.1 ~ Pt.2 ~ Pt.3 ~ Pt.4 ~ Pt.5 ~ Pt.6 ~ Pt.7 ~ Pt.8 ~ Pt.9 ~ Pt.10 ~Pt.11 ~ Pt.12 ~ Pt.13 ~ Pt.14 ~ Pt.15 ~ Pt.16 ~ Pt.17 ~ Pt.18 ~ Pt.19 ~ Pt.20 ~ Pt.21 ~ Pt.22 ~ Pt.23 ~ Pt.24 ~ Pt.25

Masterlist

Summary: This is an ABO Bad batch!Poly x Omega Reader smut with a plot. This takes place as an AU before order 66. Y/N previously served under the 501st before being transferred to Special Forces 99. This is her adventure with these rowdy Alphas in a quickly changing universe.

THIS IS AN ABO AU ABOUT THE BAD BATCH (NO CANON OMEGA!) Due to the unfortunate situation of her name being Omega… Omega the child from the canon series is not going to be apart of this fanfic/porn with a plot. I feel obligated to put this warning in because it makes my skin crawl thinking anyone could make that mistake. 

Warnings! Non-canon violence, not sure if this counts as pollen trope but hunter is a little feral, knife violence, blood, gore, substance abuse, hinting at but not committed non-con

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You were barking out orders the moment your feet hit the tarmac. Droids scattered everywhere, scrambling to gather all the supplies you needed for immediate deployment. Realizing you were nearly out of everything (you didn’t know it was possible for five men to go through so much bacta gel), you knew you had to restock. Working with a special forces unit, you knew no one was going to question or stop you. You rested a hand on your hip while scrolling through the last of your checklist on the datapad.

“Pip!” Tech’s voice rang out across the filling tarmac. “I've got your things!” He strutted up to you, holding your duffle bag with all your belongings.

“Thanks, Tech,” you smiled and took it from him before unzipping it to fill it with more supplies.

“I tried my hardest to find that face cream you like, but the labels were very confusing, so I just put both of them in there,” he rattled on, clearly distressed he couldn’t decipher them. You giggled, “It’s alright, Tech. Thank you.” He visibly calmed, knowing he hadn’t failed you.

“Where are we going?” you asked, shoving more feminine products into your bag from the surplus bins.

He pushed up his goggles, looking at his datapad. “I believe we're heading to a star system called the Crait system in the Outer Rim Territories. It’s a mining planet. Hunter didn’t say what the mission objective is.”

You hummed and zipped up your bag before slinging it over your shoulder.

“So much for shore leave, huh?” you joked.

He just huffed and followed you out of the rows of medical surplus supplies.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier,” he sounded uncomfortable. You knew expressing his feelings was difficult for Tech.

“It’s alright, Tech,” you felt your cheeks heat up.

“No, I mean I just didn’t understand what was so embarrassing about mentioning Commander Wolffe’s obvious interest in you,” he rattled on, “But after discussing the implications with Hunter and the others, I think now I understand why that was making you uncomfortable.”

You just stood there, chewing on your lip, praying he’d be done soon.

“Though I understand it to be factual that an alpha male would find you attractive. You are, in fact, a prestigious example of an omega female, and judging by the fact that all of our implants are due for replacement, the urge to mate grows stronger by the day, especially in the presence of such an omega.”

You waved your hands, “Okay. Okay!” You forced out a chuckle, “I accept your apology. But please stop making me think about the Commander.”

He quirked his head, scenting your discomfort.

You just sighed and linked your arm with his while making your way back to the Marauder. He was unsure what to do with this sudden physical contact. He swallowed thickly, feeling his heart race.

"It wasn't just about Wolffe," you whispered in his ear, hoping Hunter wouldn't hear, "I was also embarrassed because talking about my sex life in front of my commanding officer is very awkward."

"Ahh, I see," he nodded, understanding.

"You want things to remain professional," he added.

You nodded and patted his arm, "Exactly."

"That makes sense," he concluded.

You physically relaxed, knowing he finally understood. For someone so intelligent, sometimes the point hits him right in the face before he sees it, and even then… It made you laugh, especially when he didn't understand some of Crosshair's innuendos or dirty jokes.

When you finally approached the Marauder with your parade of droids behind you carrying your supplies, Echo waved his scomp arm at you two before you broke away from Tech to finish up your job. Wrecker popped his head outside, asking if you needed help carrying everything inside, which you gladly took him up on his offer.

"I gotta go change!" you announced, tossing your bag back into your bunk before fishing out a fresh uniform. You stalked to the back of the ship, sliding open the fresher door. You locked it behind you and began to strip. Pulling off your civilian clothing, you folded it neatly before shimmying into the medic uniform. The white tunic just ended past your bum and secured nicely with a belt around your waist. You then slid on the white leggings and black combat field boots on top. You laced them tightly before standing. You looked at yourself in the mirror, giving yourself a once-over before leaving the fresher.

The others were just finishing up the final refueling when you left the fresher. You wished you could have washed away the remaining alpha stench, but such luxuries were forgotten when you received the orders to leave again.

Brushing past Crosshair on the way out, you slid past him, making your way to the storage bins. Wrecker had dropped off your restock, and you made haste putting everything in its correct location before stowing and locking the compartments. You also took the time to restock your personal pouch along with the field bag that everyone seemed to use.

"Everything set to go?" Hunter asked as he settled into his seat behind Tech's Pilot chair.

Tech confirmed, "We can begin the crosscheck now."

Hunter nodded to Echo, who made sure all of the airlocks were functioning and the life support was in optimal health. You clambered back to your jump seat and buckled in.

Before you knew it, the Marauder was up in the air, climbing altitude quickly before passing through the atmosphere and reaching cruising speeds. Crosshair returned to the main cabin with firepuncher in hand, along with his cleaning kit. He sat down at the table and began taking his precious rifle apart. 

You unbuckled from your seat and slumped down slightly getting comfortable.

”So, what are we doing now?" Echo asked, peering up from the copilot's seat.

Hunter stepped forward, pressing the cylinder drive into the ship's console. In front of you all, a holomap of the Crait system appeared. Hunter zoomed in on the planet the system was named after and specifically honed in on a particular part of the glowing orb.

"Apparently, we're to investigate a missing research party." He zoomed in on one of the mountain ranges on the stark planet. "They disappeared two rotations ago."

"What were they doing on Crait?" Tech asked.

"That was classified," Hunter groused. "It probably had to do with mineral deposits. That seems to be the only thing of value in this system.”

You stared at the projection of the planet, feeling your stomach churn a bit. Something didn’t seem right; it wasn’t common to hear about research parties going missing. Commando groups like your own, sure, it was part of the job, but scientists? There must be more to this, clearly. The Jedi deemed it classified. You shook your head. General Skywalker would have never settled for such little information.

"And we’re just supposed to do what exactly?" Crosshair raised a brow. "Look for a bunch of lab rats?"

"They wouldn’t send us if it was just looking for scientists," Echo crossed his arms. "They’re not telling us for a reason."

Hunter nodded in agreement. "We’ll be there at 0700 hours. Prepare for the extreme. We have no idea what we’re walking into. Get some rest. We’re going to need it." Hunter walked over to the extra weaponry cabinet and grabbed a pistol.

He walked over to you and held it out to you, "I know!"

You raised a brow.

"I know you don’t like blasters," he sighed and held up a handful of leather straps. "But I don’t know what’s out there."

"Does she even know how to use one of those?" Crosshair paused cleaning fire puncher.

For once, you agreed with the sniper. "Sarge, I’ve never received training. I’m much better with my injectors and bandages."

"For me?" He pleaded with you. You could see how worried he was. "Please."

You sighed and relented. He knelt down, straightening out the leathers before holding them open for you to step into. He pulled them up until they were snug around your thigh. He looped the top strap into your uniform belt and settled the blaster into the holster.

"Aren’t you just going to tell me to stay on the ship anyway?" You reasoned.

"Yes," he retorted, "but if something happens, I don’t want you totally helpless."

"What are you expecting to even happen out there?" You were getting worried now.

He stood up and put a hand on your shoulder, trying to calm you. "I’ve heard stories about the Crait system. We all did when we were trainees." He let go of you. You looked at your shoulder briefly; this was the most the Sergeant had ever touched you. "I’m hoping they’re just stories. But I would never forgive myself if something happened to our own."

You just nodded and decided to leave it there. You were in no mood for ghost stories. You just looked at Crosshair who shook his head skeptically before returning to his work.

You decided to let them come up with their plans while you went to sleep while you still could. Kicking off your boots, you settled into your freshly cleaned bunk. Gonky waddled past leaving you in relative silence. The blaster on your hip felt heavy and cold. You sighed, knowing Hunter was just being a good Sergeant and an Alpha. He was a protective one; you realized that was in his nature.

Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to relax into the cot, pulling your blanket up over you, leaning into the rumble of hyperspace. Feeling yourself doze off, you gave in and allowed yourself to sleep.

You must have been out for a while because when you woke, the boys were just finishing up their meals. You could smell it from the bunks. You sat up, rubbing your eyes, smearing makeup everywhere, but you didn’t care. You stretched and checked your data pad for the time. You only had about an hour and a half before reaching Crait. You stood up and in your socks, you scooted out of the bunks into the main cabin and plopped down at the table, still exhausted.

“Do you guys ever sleep?” You mumbled, pulling out the ready-made ration pack and placing it into the heating unit.

“Significantly less than natural-born humans,” Tech informed. “It’s part of our design to require less sleep.”

“Yeah but just because you require less doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.” You heard the ding and removed your pouch of food. “Sleep is nice.”

“That is true,” Tech replied.

Echo pushed his cup of caff in your direction with a smile. You gladly took it and shared a sip or two while you dug into your food.

Crosshair and Wrecker understood what you were saying. The two were slumped up against the sidewalls of the ship, having fallen asleep at some point doing whatever they were doing. Crosshair clutched firepuncher to his chest like a baby. You snickered. It was a little concerning how much he loved that thing.

“So, Y/N?” Tech began while scrolling through something interesting on his data pad.

“Yeah, Tech?” You chewed a mouthful. The beans and rice were delicious. This was your favorite ready-made in the supply kit.

“When was the last time you had a heat?”

You spit out your food and choked on the remaining bits still in your throat.

“Oh my maker.” Echo reached forwards, handing you a napkin and a cup of water.

That woke up the boys. Crosshair growled with displease.

“What the hell, Tech?” You screeched, sputtering to catch your breath.

He looked confused. “What? I didn’t mention the Commander nor is this pertaining to our earlier conversation about Hunter.”

Oh my maker. You could kill him.

“What about Hunter?” The Sargent poked his head out from the fresher.

“Nothing. You are not relevant to this question,” Tech replied, turning to you like nothing was wrong with asking a question like that.

“Why the hell do you want to know that?” You whisper-yelled.

“Well, I was thinking. You got your replacement suppressor implant earlier today and it made me think about how it’s recommended that an Omega has one breakthrough heat every six months per standard solar rotation time. And well, you’ve been with us for six months now. It would be putting you right in that window and I thought I should ask since none of us were able to get our replacement implants on such short notice.”

You blanched.

“First of all, I’m actually going on about two years without having a heat.” You then pointed a finger up in the air. “Second… I beg your finest pardon?”

“Pardon granted,” he nodded. “We have not received our replacement-”

“I heard you,” you snipped. Whirling around, you faced all the boys in the cabin now.

“Was no one going to tell me this?” You looked around at all of them. “I leave you alone one time. ONE time! And everything goes to shit? I’m literally trapped here with five Alphas and no one said anything?! For maker knows how long?!”

Wrecker looked scared. He’d never seen you yell, and he’s never smelled such sour distress rolling off of you in waves before. He fought every nerve in his body to scoop you up and squeeze you.

“It was a mistake, ad’ika.” Hunter stepped forwards.

“No! No. Don’t ad’ika me.” Your accent was terrible. You didn’t even know what it meant.

“No need for distress,” Tech cleared his throat. “We were given these.” He holds up a pill bottle. They all four of them pulled it out of their various pockets. “Suppressors.”

“We were scheduled for our implants in two rotations, this is all they could give us on such short notice.” Hunter used his soft voice with you, trying to give you some kind of solace.

“And how many did they give you?” You crossed your arms.

“Enough for three cycles,” Echo replied, putting the bottle away.

“You’ll be okay,” Hunter assured, “We all will be fine.”

You sighed and shook your head, grabbing your pouch of beans and your spork. “The second we get back to Coruscant I want you all in that medical bay or I swear to the maker I’ll cut you open and do it myself.”

Echo cringed.

“Sorry.” You waved at him. You knew he and Wrecker didn’t particularly like medical stuff. You also knew Wrecker tends to act like a raging bantha when there's any kind of injectables nearby.

“Did you say you were going on two years-” Tech chirped.

“Oh my maker, Tech! I’m banning you from talking about any of my medical history!” You wailed.

Crosshair chuckled from his seat, and you spun around to glare at him.

“But I-”

“No!” You pointed your spork at Tech. “You’re officially forbidden.”

You huffed and shoved a big spoonful of food into your mouth, determined to finish it before you touch down. You cannot believe that this is how your day has gone so far. From almost going home with Wolffe to now discussing your lack of anything in front of your team… and your Sergeant. You could have imploded. Luckily the others gave you some mercy and returned back to their tasks, letting you eat in silence.

But now that Tech had mentioned it, you started thinking about the boys. They too were recommended six-month ruts for performance reasons, and you knew that out of all of them, Crosshair was the only one, that you were aware of, had partaken. Actually, every time you’re on shore leave, he disappears for a week, coming back smelling like a different female. The others, however, you weren’t entirely sure, unless they were far better at hiding it.

You only had confirmation because Cross actually needed bacta for his back one time. She had clawed her way through his milky skin like a feral nexu. He had asked for help, surprisingly, one random morning.

“We’re on approach.” Echo spun around in the copilot seat, waiting for Tech to take his spot in docking the vessel.

You scrambled to chuck your wrapper in the trash and wash off your spork before putting it back in the drawer. The others got ready for descent, and you folded your legs up, watching the white planet come into view. The more you passed through the clouds, the more you realized it was a glittery white barren planet.

Crait.

Home to absolutely… nothing.

Upon descent, Tech brought the Marauder down on a flat plateau nestled next to a pretty large hillside. From your view through the cockpit, there was literally not a soul out there. No plants, no animals. It was a little jarring. What was Hunter so bent out of shape over?

Once Echo released the door to the Marauder, you were instantly hit with a bit of cool air. The air, however, had a strange scent to it.

Hunter immediately cringed, bringing his arm up to block his nose.

“It’s salt.” He coughed out struggling to adjust.

“Salt?” Wrecker stood up, pushing Tech out of the way before trotting down the steps. Upon putting his boot on the ground, there was a light crunch sound. He scrapped his boot, revealing a deep crimson rock underneath. What an odd planet.

“What are your orders, Sarge?” You asked, standing up to stretch.

He slid his helmet into place, relieved to have the air filters. “Echo and Y/N stay on board in case we need backup… or a quick pick up. The rest of you are with me. Let’s make this fast I want to get out of here as quick as possible.”

“I didn’t see anyone at the coordinate point when we landed. I think we should start there and hopefully Hunter can track them down.” Tech slid his helmet on. Crosshair and Wrecker were quick to suit up and follow them down the steps outside.

“Echo, can you close the door? It smells.” You asked politely. He was happy to oblige and seal the door, watching the four brothers stalk their way towards the coordinate points.

You stretched out in Tech’s chair, spinning around before settling on Echo.

He side-eyed you nervously.

“So…” You raised a brow. “You got any good gossip for me, domino?”

He sighed, knowing where this was going… He spun to face you and put his boots up on your armrest. “Naturally.”

You smiled wickedly.

~~~

"This has to be the weirdest planet I’ve ever been to," Wrecker couldn’t help but kick the salt around, watching the red appear.

“This planet is really messing with my head," Hunter said, bending down to place his hand on the surface. Instead of being able to single out little electro currents, he could feel the entire planet pulsing. It seemed to be drowning out everything else. He felt more blind than he ever had. 

Crosshair peered down his scope, looking at the steep mountainside they were supposed to be scaling to get to the base camp.

“It has to be mining operations. I can’t seem to fathom what else it could have been," Tech looked around at the geography.

When they reached the foot of the hill, they looked up at the skinny crag they’d have to walk through, and Wrecker sighed. He hated heights. The four clones pressed their sides into the side of the mountain as they walked very carefully along the narrow path. Down below were nothing but red stalagmites jutting up from the earth. One slip and that would be a nasty fall. Wrecker just kept mumbling to himself to not look down as the inched closer to their destination.

“Anything?" Tech asked Hunter, who just gave him a defeated shake. Tech sighed. Hunter was usually the most valuable part of their expeditions. 

“We should be arriving soon," Tech looked up from his tablet, noticing how the narrow walkway gave way to a massive cave-like structure tucked into the side of this vast canyon.

Inside this cave was a pristine Republic research vessel, along with a few tents set up with various tables filled with scientific research machinery. Everything was untouched, but abandoned. Hunter could tell by the smell of the food still sitting out on their plates it had been left alone for at least a day. The others filed in to start investigating the scene. Tech noticed that the footprints seemingly led deeper into the cave. He slid his infrared visor into place and began scanning the entrance to the tunnel.

~~~

“Oh my god, Echo!” You howled, watching his pale face light up pink. “You did WHAT with Fives?!”

“It was one time!” He justified and looked up at the ceiling. “We were young and had never even seen a human female before. She was also an omega and us clones had no clue how we’d even react in their presence.”

“Ahh!” You giggled. “Was it fun?”

He bit his lip. You shook your head with a playful look.

“Have you ever shared before?” He asked.

“Me?” You laughed earnestly. “No way. First of all, I'm too busy for one, let alone two.”

“Don’t knock it till you try it,” He nudged you with his boot.

“Oh my god, Echo.” You slapped his shin. “I didn’t know you rolled like that.”

“No one does,” He laughed. “Except the Domino Squad.”

“You were living a wild life before the 99s. I can’t believe you never told me that.” You giggled, standing up with your comm. It had been well over an hour and you hadn’t heard from the others.

You pressed your comm, “Hey boys, just checking in?” You waited a few moments before calling out to them again. “Must be the mountain range,” Echo pointed out.

“I’ll give it a few more minutes,” You settled back down in your seat.

He sat up a bit straighter now, looking at you directly with crossed arms. “Now tell me about Wolffe.”

He smiled devilishly.

~~~

“No lifeforms are coming up on my scanners,” Tech informed.

“I haven’t seen anything but salt,” Wrecker looked around, putting his hands on his hips.

“So what?” Crosshair drawled. “It’s not like they vanished. They had to have gone somewhere.”

As if on cue, Hunter heard the telltale sound of someone rustling coming from the cave. He didn’t think twice before taking off after the noise. He ignored his brothers’ protest and continued after the sound. The echo of crystals tinkering filled his senses, and he disappeared deeper into the cavern. He turned on his night vision as he stalked the sound.

“Hunter, wait!” Crosshair called after his brother, but Hunter was determined. He groaned watching the oldest of them trot off into the cave.

Hunter heard the sound off to his right this time; it was much closer. He zeroed in on a narrow passageway and slowly approached. A distinct smell filled his senses… Death.

Pulling his gun out, he rounded the corner to find a small woman curled up in a ball, covered in crimson dust. A beta from the look of it.

“Ma’am?” He asked, kneeling down and lowering his weapon. She was shaking and trying her hardest to hide from him. Looking around, he noticed that there were a couple of deceased members lying around the cavern in various positions.

“What happened?” He demanded, noticing how they all wore Republic uniforms, including the scared scientist. She just trembled in shock. Her blonde hair was mangled and her clothes were torn in some places.

Quickly, the others filed in behind Hunter, coming into view. The woman hissed in warning, and Hunter decided to back off a bit. She was definitely frightened.

“Ma’am, we’re with the Republic. They sent us to find you,” Hunter tried to assure her.

“The Republic,” She tested the words on her tongue. “They have to know!”

“Know what?” Tech asked inquisitively.

“They-they…” She looked around the cave like she was seeing things. Wrecker followed her gaze noticing she was seeing things that weren’t there. 

Hunter realized she was probably traumatized, shell-shocked. He elected to try and coax her out of her sitting position. He reached up and unclipped his helmet, bringing it to his side in an effort to help calm her. When the woman finally looked back at him, she shrieked in pure horror before grabbing a handful of the dust below her and throwing it harshly in his face before scampering further into her hiding spot.

“Get away!” She was screaming at the void now. 

Clearly, she was hallucinating. 

Hunter sputtered and swiped at his eyes, trying to knock the powdery red off of him.

“You good?” Crosshair asked, helping knock the dirt off of him with a few slaps with his gloved hand.

“Argh,” He growled, feeling the particles sting his eyes and nose. It had an odd taste that was starting to take over his senses.

“Ma’am, you need to calm down,” Tech stepped forwards, holding a tranquilizer pen he stole from Y/N's pouch. She flailed when he injected her, but it quickly took effect. She slumped back down into the ground in a heap. Tech monitored her vitals as she slowly came back to something considered normal.

“I think his tattoo scared her,” Wrecker pointed out. Especially to someone on a deep trip like her, he probably looked like a monster.

Hunter decided to leave Tech and the others to sort out the survivor while he went outside to try and wash the dirt from his eyes. 

Yanking off his bandana, he grabbed his canteen and leaned over to pour it over his face. He used his free hand to yank off his glove and rub at his skin and eyes. 

“Kriff,” His heart was racing. He took a deep breath trying to dislodge it from his sinus’.

When he was certain he got it all, he closed up the canteen and wrung out his bandana. The world suddenly started to move strangely. Hunter tried standing up straight but the red rocks all round him started dancing with the wind. He wavered and clutched at his collar suddenly feeling restricted. 

“Tech, something is wrong,” He muttered, but he was forced to slump down onto the abandoned research table. 

Tech didn’t hear him. 

Hunter’s skin started to crawl, and his sense of smell was starting to go into overdrive. He could smell everything. The beta women, the earth, the crystal critters lurking just out of view, Wrecker’s day-old blacks and sweat. He could smell the gun oil residue on Crosshair's fingertips and Tech’s hair gel…from under his helmet. 

He was smelling things he knew he shouldn’t be, not from this distance. 

He rolled over off the bench onto the floor on his hands and knees into the loose salt. Suddenly, he felt the Alpha in him take over control. His chest puffed up as he fought for control. He was being reverted back to basic instincts, and he knew his grip on reality was slipping and slipping fast. He was heaving, trying to keep some control but the panic was taking over.

“Cross!” He cried out, but he knew his brother couldn’t hear him.

~~~

You were flushed, admitting to Echo that you had actually thought about it. Like really considered going through your heat with the Commander, had you all types of blushed.

"And imagine, you'd all would have had to have a sub-in if that had happened." You shook your head.

He laughed at you, knowing you hate this kind of stuff, which made it all that much funnier.

“Do you like him?” Echo asked.

“I don't know him,” You shrugged.

He clicked his tongue, “Well, that's not really a requirement, is it?”

You just slapped his shoulder, “You’re a slut, Echo. You know that?”

He just put his arms behind his head, “What can I say, Cyra’ika? I’m an alpha.”

“You’re not all like that,” You jabbed.

Echo rolled his eyes, “You have no idea. Back in the old days me and the boys had some stories…” He smirked.

“Mhmm,” You giggled and tried the radio one more time; this time, you opened the door to the ship and stepped outside, hoping the radio signal would be stronger.

“Tech? Hunter?” You called out into the comm, “Cross? Wrecker? Someone come in!” You shifted your weight onto one foot and looked at the little comm device.

You heard a series of clicks coming through the radio, then you heard Hunter’s broken voice.

“Ugh,” You shook the comm, “Signal’s trash… Hunter?”

“I-I… open… I-I need,” His voice was stuttering through the static.

“I think he wants the side door open,” Echo said, trying to boost the signal.

You nodded and trotted down the ramp, taking out your binoculars. You pointed them in his direction, but still, you didn’t see any movement. Hopefully, they were able to find the scientists and you can finally return home for your real shore-leave, maybe even take the Commander up on his offer. You giggled to yourself, lowering the binoculars.

You heard a little jingle and looked down and yelped.

A small little crystal fox stared back up at you blinking its amber eyes curiously. 

“Hi there,” You said, slowly lowering your binoculars. The small creature stepped forwards before quickly nipping onto your shoelace and tugging it loose.

You twitched, bringing your leg back afraid it would bite, but instead, it chirped and darted off under the ship and towards the mountain range jingling as it ran.

“Hey, Wait!” You shouted and ran off after the little guy, “Hold on!”

~~~

“Where’s Hunter?” Crosshair asked, looking around the cave.

Wrecker shrugged, and Crosshair decided to go looking for his brother. When he exited the cave, he noticed the fresh tracks leading away from the abandoned camp and the overpowering smell of an Alpha… in rut.

He followed the tracks until he reached the mountain pass.

Crosshair grabbed his comms and radioed in, “Hunter! Come in!”

He trotted back to the cavern and grabbed Wrecker, “Hunter took off, c’mon, we gotta go now.”

“You have to warn the Republic,” The woman grabbed onto Tech’s uniform.

“Warn them about what?” He scanned her body, noticing the telltale signs of elevated heart rate, dilated eyes, and nervous twitching. The woman was high as hell.

“The minerals. T-they’re…” She looked out at the members of her team, “It’s toxic.”

The three soldiers all looked at each other, knowing Hunter got a good dose of it and with his senses, he was probably coming unglued.

“What is the substance?” Tech asked.

She looked at him, “Unrefined Spice cut with-” Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she fainted.

“Shit,” Crosshair wasn’t liking this one bit.

“I got her. You guys go get Hunter,” Wrecker picked the lady up and let the others take off running after their infected brother.

Tech and Crosshair wasted no time sprinting out of the cave and towards the narrow pass.

~~~

You had heard Echo radio for you which made you halt in your tracks. The crystal fox scampered away disappearing into a narrow crevice the mountain side. 

“Get back here.” Echo sounded worried, “There’s someth-” He was cut off. 

You spun around realizing you had ventured far from the ship. You sighed and bent down to re-tie your combat boot before taking off in a jog back to the Marauder. Jumping over a couple smaller boulders you made a beeline for the ship. 

“I’m coming Echo!” You radioed back and scurried up the steps, “What’s going on?” 

You looked around but the ship was silent. You narrowed your eyes and peered around the corner of the cockpit into the main galley. You heard a strange muffled noise before drawing your weapon. You flicked it to stun before holding it up suddenly overcome with nerves. 

“Echo?” You called out softly into the back of the ship. 

Suddenly Hunter’s head popped out from behind the bunk door. You sighed and put the gun back into the holster and pointed a finger at him, “Sarge you scared me half to death.” 

He approached, “I wouldn’t want that omega now would I?” his voice sounded strange. You raised a brow watching him get nearer. He looked disheveled. His grey armor was covered in a crimson substance and his hair was all over the place.

“Hunter are you okay?” You asked reaching for your pack. 

He lunged forwards and grabbed your wrist in a bruising grip. You yelped out trying to snatch it back but he just pulled you into him before throwing you backwards against the dining table. Echo’s caff and various plates went flying and clattering onto the ground. You yelled out in pain as your back collided with the steel surface. He stalked up to you grabbing you again and you tried to shove him off not understanding why he was being so rough all of a sudden. Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. Hunter however was deathly precise in his movements. 

“Hunter what-” You started, but he grabbed your neck and slammed you flat to the metal table before going for your wrist. You thrashed around trying to throw him off of you but he was too big and too strong. Your head was pounding from the impact. He settled in between your thighs pushing his hard pelvis into yours sedating you. 

“Stop fighting me omega.” He leaned down using his free hand to pin your arm to the table. You whined feeling him clamp down on your neck. He was starting to hurt you. The panic was setting in. Something was very wrong with Hunter it’s like he was possessed. 

You used your free hand to back hand him as hard as you could. His head snapped to the side with a crack. He growled making your insides churn. Thats when you noticed his pupils. They were beyond dilated. They nearly absorbed his entire eye, you were staring back into endless black holes. 

“Hunter get off of me!” You kneed him in the side making him gasp and cough knocking the wind out of him. You had a split second to get up and you took it. Ignoring the aches in your body, you shoved him back, he struggled to catch his breath and you turned to run. Making your way down the main galley you went for your bag to grab the tranquilizer. 

“Omega!” He used his alpha voice. You had to fight the submission. Every cell in your body wanted to bare your neck and submit to him but you fought it. This wasn’t Hunter. Hunter would never do something like this. Especially not use his tone on you… ever.

“Come.” He demanded standing there gripping his side while he caught his breath. 

You ignored him and kept rummaging for your pack, “Where the fuck is it?” You couldn’t believe it. You always left it in your duffle. 

You heard his heavy foot steps approaching when you decided to go for your stun gun instead. When you had a good grip on the gun, your feet were yanked out from under you. Hunter was way too fast and trained. You landed with a thud on the hard durasteel floor dropping the pistol. He was dragging you out of the narrow galley back into the main cabin. Thats when you noticed Echo knocked out on the floor next to you. He must have found Echo first before he realized you weren’t in the ship.

“Hunter!” You kicked at him with the other leg, “Stop! This isn’t you!” 

“Omega.” He growled out getting on the floor and kneeling on top of you. He placed a calloused hand on the back of your neck keeping you pinned with a squeak. You could feel his hardness pressing into the plush of your ass and you whimpered. He was in a manic rut. You felt him lean down getting closer to your scent glands. He reeked of pheromones. You were practically choking on it. You concluded he was defiantly in a rut. You had to get out of here. 

“Omega… smells w-wrong.” He shook his head trying to get a better sniff. 

“Hunter please!” You whined feeling how hot his breath was on your neck. His smokey scent was everywhere and it was starting to consume you. You could feel your body starting to react to these pheromones and you cursed yourself. He no doubt could smell you. 

You were suddenly flipped over onto your back roughly making you whimper on impact. Tears slipped out of the corners of your eyes as you filled with fear. His face didn’t even look like his own anymore. The softness he reserved for you was gone and all that was left was the animal that lived inside him. 

He leaned down and licked the stray tears off your face with a hum. You pressed your hands into his chest pleading with him to let you go. He pinned your hands down to the durasteel and shifted his weight so he could shove his nose into your neck where the fresh implant rests and your mating gland. He growled disapprovingly and used one hand to tear your shirt collar and rip the bacta patch off of you. You shrieked as it burned. 

“Hunter!” You cried begging for him to get control. 

He looked at the incision menacingly before reaching to the vibro blade on his sleeve. You realized whatever infected him, reverted him back to his primal instincts and one thing between him and a rut was your implant. You flailed helplessly under his weight trying to get away. He tore your uniform top down the seams revealing your bound chest to him.

“Tech!” You screamed, “Crosshair!” You prayed they were close behind. They were probably the only ones strong enough to stop their brother.

Hunter leaned down pressing the tip of the sharp blade to your smooth gland. When the tip met your skin you screamed in pain feeling him lightly pierce your skin. You felt the hot blood running down your shoulder making his nose flare. You screamed in agony praying he’d just get it over with. Your voice broke with your screams.

“Wrecker!” You wailed hoping they’d hear you and that they were in a much better state than this. 

You screamed again feeling the tip of the blade remove the implant as it clattered to the ground. You shuddered starting to feel dizzy from the blood loss. He leaned down to lick the cut spreading his alpha pheromones into your open wound. He tried purring in an attempt to comfort you, but the death grip on your neck didn’t help in any way. You reached down to his thigh searching for anything to help you. He nuzzled your neck again licking at the wound like a corellian hound. 

You knew he kept another blade on his belt but you were struggling to find it. Then when you brushed up against his side, you noticed he still had his gun. In a flash you brandished his pistol pressing it into his side. He was still purring totally unaware when you made your move.

“I’m sorry.” You cried then pulled the trigger. 

He looked at you stunned for a moment before slumping back onto his heels and releasing you. You took a deep gasping breath then sobbed realizing what you did, but he fell back against the side of the ship letting you scurry up to your knees. You turned his weapon to stun and unloaded on him. You stared at his limp body shaking in fright that he’d get up again at any second.

“Y/N?” Tech’s alarmed face appeared in the entry. You fired a few stunning shots at him without thinking but he retreated in time. 

“We’re not infected!” He yelled putting his hands up. 

You lowered the gun and fell back against the leg of the table Hunter had wrangled you onto just moments earlier. You let Hunter’s gun clatter to the ground. 

Crosshair and Tech entered the ship looking alarmed at the scene. 

“I shot him.” You whispered. They turned to look at their stunned brother who had a plasma burn in his side a long with a fresh stream of blood oozing out. 

“You’re bleeding.” Crosshair ran to your side taking his helmet off and reaching for your collar. You flinched making him second guess his movements. He had no idea what Hunter had done to you, but from the blooming bruises around your neck and chest, he was starting to put som pieces together. 

Tech scanned Hunter and determined the shot not lethal. He helped Hunter onto his back and started removing his armor while Crosshair tried to clean your wound. 

“What did he do to you?” Crosshair asked with anger laced in his tone. 

You just whimpered feeling the exhaustion settle in after the adrenaline wore off, “H-he cut my…” You waved at the wound, “He was like an animal.” You pointed to the little pill shaped device lying in the pool of your blood on the floor. Crosshair saw it and turned back to you. You were shaking now as the horror of everything was starting to settle in. He got up and grabbed some supplies from your bins and came back to your side. He knew you weren’t a soldier, but it didn’t make your behavior any less disturbing.  Seeing an omega cry was like having Hunter's vibro blade shoved into his chest.

“We heard you when we got down the hill.” Tech said pressing a bacta pack to Hunter’s side, “I’m sorry we didn’t get here sooner.” He then hooked hunter up to a liquid IV in hopes to flush his system of the drug.

You just nodded resting your forehead against Crosshairs shoulder. He quickly cleaned your wound opting to forego gentleness he was just wanting to get you patched up. Luckily Hunter made a pretty clean cut and it isn’t deep. He applied the bacta and the bandages just like he’d seen you do a hundred times. He then grabbed the pain killer injection just like last night. He distributed the medicine and continued to hold you as your shakes subsided. 

Wrecker and the sedated scientist arrived shortly after. He just stood there looking at everything bewildered. He set the lady down on a pallet on the floor before returning to his brothers. 

“What happened here?” He asked taking off his helmet. 

“It seems the unrefined spice caused Hunter’s senses to go into overdrive. He reverted back to his more animalistic instincts and attacked Y/N. He was searching for an omega.” Tech took off his own helmet. Tech grabbed a pair of binders and attached one to Hunter and the other to the cargo hold. They had no idea what they were going to get when he woke up. 

Noticing your worry, Crosshair decided you’d had enough. He bent down and scooped up your knees up and carried you back to the bunks. You leaned your head against his chest wanting to just go to sleep.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly setting you down in your bunk. He sat across from you in Tech’s neatly made cot. 

You just sniffled feeling more tears surface. Hunter was one of the men you did feel safe with. It was just any omega’s worst nightmare having a trusted alpha turn on you like that. Even though you know it wasn’t really Hunter, it was still horrifying. He was so strong. It frightened you. 

“Oh Ad’ika.” Crosshair sighed standing up and rummaging through his things. He came back with one of his civvies shirts. It was black and massive. He knelt down at your side taking his time unlacing your boots and sliding them off. He then went for your shirt gently removing what was left of the ripped fabric. You just stared at the ceiling as he shimmied you into his shirt. You settled finally and he grabbed your favorite blanket before pulling it up to your chin. You were unaware the Alpha was capable of such gentleness. 

“Do you want me to stay?” He asked noticing your shaking again. 

“I’m okay.” You croaked, “Thank you Cross.”

He didn’t fight you, but everything in his body begged him to stay and to comfort the frightened omega. He stood up and left letting the door swoosh closed behind him. 

When you were finally alone you started to wail. You cried and cried until you couldn't physically produce any more tears. Never had you ever resolved on to crying while on the job, but then again, you’d never been in a situation such as this before. 

Some time later, Wrecker came tiptoeing into the room worried that you were asleep. When he realized you weren’t, he showed you his Lula. You sniffled and gave him a little smile as he tucked lula into your blankets with you.

“Thanks Wreck.” You cuddled lula letting her comfort you. 

“Anytime pip.” He retreated back to the galley. You noticed Crosshair perched against the wall in the galley keeping watch. You sighed knowing he was at least a bit protective. Knowing he was watching over you, you relaxed a bit. Then sleep came and consumed you quickly. 

~~~

“What the actual fuck happened.” Crosshair demanded looking around the entire ship. The images of your torn up bleeding body haunted him. He might get pissy with you for your little flirting with the regs but this was unacceptable. No one is allowed to hurt an omega like that, especially his brother. It was taking all his control to not kick the shit out of Hunter’s unconscious body. 

“We need to get back to a medical base. I’m afraid I didn’t get a proper explanation from the surviving scientist. She said it was unrefined spice mixed with something else and the others seemed to have died from prolonged exposure. I don’t know what will happen to Hunter if we can’t get him back to a hospital.” Tech sat back into his chair looking at the others. 

Echo had come back to consciousness at some point and needed an ice pack for the bump on his head. He looked to tech, “Get the Marauder up in the air and radio to any of the nearest Venador fleets. We can meet them half way.”

“Better yet, I’ll call Captain Rex.” Tech plugged his data pad into the console, “General Skywalker was supposed to be stationed in the Nabooian system near by.” 

“How do you know that?” Wrecker asked rubbing his eyes. 

“The drunk 501 boys last night mentioned it while they were alluding to the General’s fascination with the junior senator. They were refueling when we landed yesterday.” Tech replied sliding his goggles up. 

“Oh I like that senator.” Wrecker nodded, “She’s hot.” 

“I don’t care what we do.” Crosshair leaned against the galley hallway, “They both need immediate medical care.” His nose crinkled at the smell of Y/N’s blood still drying on their floor.

“Agreed.” Echo stared at Hunter’s limp body. He knew the Sargent was never going to forgive himself for this. Echo sighed, explaining this whole situation just got so much worse. Hunter was probably going to want to shoot himself when he comes to.

“Being their old medic, I’m positive they won’t have an issue treating her.” Tech began the take off process wanting to get off of this horrible planet. 

“Just get us off this forsaken planet.” Crosshair grumbled walking back to the bunk doorway. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Ahh okay, I think this story is going to be a little darker obviously, but it's for the plot! haha enjoy babes.

I'm also sitting here realizing I don't think Omega will be able to be written into this story given the obvious issue with her name lol so tbd on that.

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Ah thank you so much for your post on Harry's overprotectiveness and how it is deeply rooted in his fear of losing the only family he has by the end of the series not because he thinks Ginny is not capable enough

You spoke God's truth

But like seriously I have seen so many people pointing out the "problem" in Hinny and why they won't make it long term as a couple is that Harry after the war has to see Ginny as a peer not as something to be protected and that's why they are not equals... And I'm like what makes you think he doesn't see her as his equal?

Do I need to point out the number of times in HBP and DH whatever Ginny is doing Harry's reaction is a mix of "wowww my girl is doing amazing" and "OMG what is she doing, she might get herself killed and I'll die seeing just that, poor Voldy shorts would not have to put so much effort in killing me"

And I'm sure this has been pointed out before...A 15 year old Harry had a very similar reaction towards Sirius, a 30 something adult with 7 years of complete magical education, experience in fighting death eaters in Order of the Phoenix and then emotionally fighting the dementors for 12 long years.

You are welcome!

.

Harry in canon after he discovers Ginny is leading a rebellion:

This scant news made Harry want to see Ginny so badly it felt like a stomachache; but it also made him think of Ron again, and of Dumbledore, and of Hogwarts itself, which he missed nearly as much as his ex-girlfriend. - Chapter 15, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

What is true is that Harry hasn't properly processed how hurt Ginny was because he so desperately needed to believe she was safe that he would've needed to be slapped in the face with the reality, and in fact:

He spotted Ginny two tables away; she was sitting with her head on her mother’s shoulder: there would be time to talk later, hours and days and maybe years in which to talk. - Chapter 36, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

This does not mean Harry doesn't think that what Ginny did was valuable, important or a huge risk:

Harry found himself taking it out simply to stare at Ginny’s name in the girls’ dormitory, wondering whether the intensity with which he gazed at it might break into her sleep, that she would somehow know he was thinking about her, hoping that she was all right. - Chapter 16, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Harry is worried about her physical and mental well-being. But there's a difference between knowing someone is in danger/admiring them for what they are doing and being in the mental space to properly process the information of the love of your life being tortured (something that he would need to deduce from Neville's tale and he is not in the mental space to do it). It would happen once he talks with Ginny (I think Rowling should've created the situation for it once Harry talked with Neville but for reasons that have nothing to do with hinny and everything to do with the devastatingly boring plot of this book).

[I wrote about this in Back to the Eclipse if someone wants to read it.]

It's like when people say that Harry wouldn't tell Ginny things because he didn't let her in the Voldemort stuff completely ignoring that:

Dumbledore tells him to talk only with Ron and Hermione about it and he dies before Harry might start wondering why exactly he can't talk to Ginny about it and ask Albus (I would have loved to see the answer to that question)

Harry has a pathological need to protect her (which I agree is something he needs to work on but it is a direct consequence of how important she is to him and I'll argue it's a flaw that in a moderate dose balances out one of Ginny's)

Harry ends up telling Ginny his mission (killing Voldemort) anyway because he is shit at keeping things from her, as pointed out since the fifth book

Harry is so shit at keeping things from Ginny he has a hard time keeping things from Molly because she has Ginny's eye colour

When Ron gets hurt in HBP, Harry and Ginny get into an obsessive conversation about what might have happened (he is clearly comfortable in discussing important stuff with her, including his beloved mysteries)

His only plan for the future after the battle is endlessly talking with Ginny

The only thing people should deduce is that Ginny most likely spent a good part of her life being an insane security breach of the Department of Law Enforcement (to be fair to Harry: the majority of spouses of people in law enforcement are).

[charlesslut16]

hiiiii!! i love your writing! could you maybe write something about esteban reassuring the reader after he has a very hard race and she’s really worried about him? (qatar traumatized me). thank you!!! 🩷

-hell on track-

summary : esteban reassures you after the horrible race that happened...

PAIRING : esteban ocon x reader

WARNINGS : the qatar race, talk about vomiting

note : i'm sorry that i was so absent but i had so much work on my plate that i didn't have the time to write something for you. But i hope you still like it even tho itt came late...

masterlist  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You hated Qatar.  Even now, after the race that had accrued. 

The day had started as always. Esteban and you woke up in bed together, made yourselves ready for the paddock/race, and ate breakfast together. A good start to the day.

But no one knew how bad the day would end for all the drivers and their significant others. In Qatar, it was 80 degrees Celsius, and it was absolutely boiling in the cars of the drivers.

While all the other wags were sitting in the garages watching the race, you and Kika were in the alpine garage worrying about Esteban and Pierre. Both of you feared for both of them.

Kika and you knew that nothing too horrible would happen, but you still didn't want to think about all the things that could easily happen, like not seeing anything and driving against a border or worse, against another driver.

As you heard what problems the other drivers had, Kika and you became uneasy. You knew that the both of them would return save to you, but you wanted to know how they were doing right this second.

Logan had to retire because of his health, some drivers couldn't see in the last laps because it was blurry; Fernando had difficulties with his seat, because of the heat and some more incidents.

And as the race was finished, all you had on your mind was to be with Esteban as soon as possible. Minutes later, you saw him and ran to him. Hugging him and touching him to know that he was alright.

Well okay. You knew that he had vomited on the 15th lap and that everything was blurry in the last few laps. But him being here, with you, made everything a little better.

After the podium and the interviews, you and Esteban were in his driver's room on the couch. You told him the thoughts you had while he was racing, and he listened and reassured you.

“Everything is fine, I'm fine. There is no need to worry anymore, my love. I was feeling ill by lap 15 or 16. I was throwing up for two laps inside the cockpit, but I'm in one piece and that is all that matters.”

You still weren't convinced, but that was only because you were worrying so much, while he was racing. In your mind, you knew that nothing too horrible would happen, but still you had your worries.

“But honestly, I was not expecting for the race to be that hard. I can normally do two race distances, even in Singapore. Physically, like muscle-wise and cardio-wise, I'm always fine.  That's what I've always been training for, but today it was just the hot air and how hot the engine is from behind the car. I don't think we particularly sealed the cockpit too well. It must have been like 80 degrees inside the car.”

“But yeah. Glad that we finished the race. A hard one, well deserved, the maximum we could have done. A happy ending.”

You listened soundlessly and carefully, understanding the situation in the car fully, as you weren't in there. You had just heard the information you had become or heard.

“Why didn't you retire, Este? Maybe it would have been better for your health.”

“It's not an option, retiring. I was never going to do that. You need to kill me to retire.”

Shocked, you looked at him for a second before you slapped his chest. He caught your hand, while laughing as he saw your shocked face. But it was true. Nothing would get him out of his car. Except maybe for you.

“Don't say something like that. Do not even think about such horrible things.”

 After you answered him, you turned around, so Esteban could only see your back. But Esteban didn't like that, he pulled you into his lap and gripped your chin with his hand, so you'd look at him.

“I was only joking, my love. Do not worry.”

You accepted this answer with a little pout-smile. But you and Esteban both knew that that was a lie. He would rather be dragged out of the car than go out of it willingly.

“I'm glad that next year we come back here in December.”

“Me too.”

You sat on his lap, while he told you more about his time in the car. And each time he told you something, and you were worried, he would reassure you and tell you that he was fine.

That was all you wanted. Esteban was one of the people who made your life so much better. He was your rock in the sea. He was your save place, and you never wanted him to be anything else.

And you hoped that you and him would be together forever.

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 11/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

I'm sorry if this feels a bit fast-paced but I am not writing 1 month's worth of Luci's journey on Earth alksjdlas

Everything is tying up very nicely.

The ending is already being written and this chapter has a lot of clues on what will happen next.

To any ARTISTS or WRITERS who want to make something based on this AU, you have my full permission! All I ask is I want to read/see it!

Your reblogs, likes, and comments are much appreciated.

And feel free to chat with me if you have any theories or AUs or this AU of your own!

---------------------------

The thing about being immortal and whose existence started since the beginning of well- everything- is that it is literally just a concept.

Centuries feel like minutes. Days into seconds. Seconds into basically nothing.

Hell, the only reason why Lucifer knew 7 years had passed since Lilith left was because he was counting. He wanted to be reminded of the pain of losing the first person he ever loved.

Call him a bad father but he genuinely doesn't know how long since he has seen Charlie.

He knows it's been a while but he didn't realize just how much longer it was. He missed out on so many years of his daughter's life because he couldn't stop being fucking sad.

Charlie probably has something to say about that mentality but he can't help it.

So when Lucifer takes a whole month of scouring Earth before he finds what he's looking for, he curses himself.

Didn't he just arrive on Earth a few hours ago? Now that he thinks about it, following that wild duck chase (it's goose, dear) should've been a dead giveaway that he was taking too long.

He should've known seeing the sun and moon appearing at that many intervals meant days were flying by.

It's not entirely his fault. Pride's days and nights are basically the same- plus it's not like he needs sleep. It was bound to fuck up his body clock.

Judging by how there are no effects in the human world yet, they're still probably keeping the Roo situation at bay. He's grateful for his siblings but it only makes him move more urgently.

Lucifer arrives at a grassy field on a hill in the middle of nowhere.

It was warm, but the wind is making sure the skin doesn't burn by the sun's rays. He looks around and spots a woman-like figure under the shade of the line tree- her short hair dancing with the wind.

Lucifer walks loudly to her but she doesn't acknowledge his presence. Only when he is standing in her line of sight does she react.

Unknown: Hello, Lucifer.

Lucifer: Goodie.

The Good of Humanity. The being he unintentionally corrupted by his actions.

Goodie: To what do I owe the pleasure.

Lucifer: I need your help. It's about your sister.

Goodie: Hmm? Well then. Come sit. It appears we have a lot to talk about ~

Lucifer sits and takes a deep breath.

Lucifer: Roo- Roo is breaking out. It's only a matter of time before she fully escapes and we are not strong enough to seal her back up again with her stronger state. Hell will-

Goodie stops his rambling by placing a hand on his.

Goodie: Calm now, angel.

Lucifer:… sorry.

Goodie: You say my sister is coming back?

Lucifer: Yes. She's eating her way out of hell and if we don't stop her soon, my people- my family are going to die. I am never above begging so please- help us.

There was a pregnant pause before Goodie spoke up again.

Goodie: I do not have the power you are looking for.

Lucifer: But..

Goodie: But! I never said I would not help.

Lucifer: you'll help Hell?

Goodie: I am the embodiment of good. I can see how much of it someone has inside their heart and right now… your heart is as full as it is pure.

Lucifer: Then how can we-

Goodie: I can lend you something that shall be enough to contain her. But for this to work, I need one thing.

Lucifer: What is it?

Goodie finally meets his eyes. He felt like he was looking at everything he destroyed- the failed project that is humanity.

Goodie: You.

------------------------------------------------

What to look forward to in Part 12:

Luci comes back to hell with Goodie in tow.

Some conflicts started by the overlords

The Lucifer finally gets involve in the ritual

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 758: The senpai's few words

Pag 2

1: Aoyagi-san!!

Pag 3

1: Wha- what happened, Danchiku, you stopped so suddenly

2: Why is he here, in Kyushu!?

What is it, what is it

4: He's probably the person I'd want to see the most right now!!

5: What is it, is there someone in the audience area?

Someone you know? You look so surprised

I wouldn't be so surprised even if someone was there

Pag 4

2: He-hello!! You... you came to... cheer us on!?

3: It's been a while, Danchiku

4: Yes.... yes!!

Thank you so much for coming so far to see us!!

5: You got bigger

Pag 5

2: Thank you so much

3: Uhm, actually

There's something I'd like to talk to you about, is that....

4: Aoyagi-saaaan!!

-okay!?

Pag 6

1: What, for real!?

What, are you really here- amaaazing!!

Oi, Issa, I was....

2: Wait... did you just made Aoyagi-san lose consciousness with your tackle!?

3: Aoyagi-saaan!! Hahahaha!!

You're attacking him when he's already down...!!

4: I'm... o... okay...

No, he keeps pausing while talking!!

Hahaha

5: I'll lead you to our tent!! Carry him, Danchiku!!

'Carry him'....

Pag 7

2: Thank you

2: I wished you had told me you'd come though, Aoyagi!!

You forgot to add “san”, Kabuagi

3: There was something... I wanted to talk to you about but

4: I guess it can't be helped....

(You're ending up yielding again, Danchiku)

5: Ah right

6: Aoyagi-san is

Pag 8

1: A member of last year's team!!

He's the column who supported Sohoku from below last year!!

2: Someone who gained experience through hard work and difficulties and debuted in his third year, ran as a sprinter, pulled the team, and brought back the members so many times

3: Without talking, without refusing, he just did it silently!!

5: Even when he was in a pinch, when he was injured, he moved forward with all his might without ever standing out!!

If he hadn't been there, there's no way Sohoku could have won!!

Pag 9

1: He-he sounds amazing, teh

Right!! I'm really flashy, so his way of running is probably the exact opposite of mine

2: Hearing it again, he really is an amazing person.....

and I also know well what happened with his leg on the third day

4: If I was in the same position and got injured.... would I be able to run the same way?

5: “He'll run away right away”

“He's a chicken”

Pag 10

1: In this Inter High that is about to start

Pag 11

1: Since Aoyagi-san came to see us, I'll smash the starting dash!

There's no need to smash, run calmly

2: Should I get subbed out?

I'm still in time

4: “No one will blame you”

“I can be done in fifteen minutes”

5: I'm at my peak now!!

Save it for the race

6: You're an idiot as usual

I'll forgive everything you say, Aoyagi-san!!

7: What can I do, what......

Nothing....!!

Pag 12

1: The stage event is starting soon

Last year's champions, Sohoku High School, representative of Chiba, please come to the stage

Kakaka, it's our turn!!

2: Teh.... I'm nervous, the

There's gonna be tons of spectators!!

3: Do-do we take a video? I'll do it, Sugimoto-san

I'll leave it to you then. I'll finish up here

4: Su-

Sugimoto-san!!

6: Ao.... yagi-san.....

Pag 13

1: Could you do me one favor?

2: Ah- yes!

Do you want something to eat!! Right away!!

3: The food truck is there... is curry alright?

4: …. no

5: A band-aid!? A nail-clipper!?

Leave it to me, after all I worked a lot behind-the-scene last year

6: Oi, Danchiku, what are you doing. Let's go

8: Ye.... yes

Pag 14

1: Take care of that idiot

Pag 15

3: The Inter High is harsh and long

But he's reckless and can't read the air

5: You, on the other hand

6: You always keep an eye on your surroundings and pay attention to what people say and do

And that means

Pag 16

1: That you can make an accurate judgment of risk in any situation

3: The ability to read small details when you're in a pinch is essential in road racing

4: Earlier in the midst of more than a hundred people in the audience area, you

Pag 17

1: found me at one glance

4: I think you know this too, but he can only look ahead

Please support him, take a step back and, as always

5: be watchful

Pag 18

2: Yessir!! Thank you so much!!

4: “Take a step back”.....!! Taking a step back.... yielding, are my...

5: If this small heart is my ability

Pag 19

2: then I'll be the one running, Issa!!

Together with you!!

At full throttle!!

Pag 20

1: Run, Danchiku

Just like I did last year

2: with Junta

3: I'm sure your feelings will give you strength

These are the members of Sohoku, the Chiba prefecture representative who won the championship last year

Pag 21

1: So far they have won two times in a row

3: What's wrong.... your balloon... shall I get it for you?

Pag 22

2: Thank you, Onii-chan

3: That's surprising, Midosuji-san

You're so kind

4: Puku.... I am kind, though?

To

5: anyone who doesn't wear a number bib, that is!!

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember 2023 Master Post.

This year was my 5th Hypnovember! To be honest, it felt particularly hard-fought since I had a lot of life stuff happening in the background this month. (Nothing traumatic, don't worry.) Still, I managed to write about 10,803 words, record almost 50 minutes of audio, and pay tribute to a lovely friend. I'm likely not doing daily prompts next year but I'm glad I ran this marathon one more time. 5 years is a respectable amount of time to do anything so- I'm proud of myself.

Everything I wrote/created is below! Use these icons to find what looks interesting to you:

Icons- 📰- story 🔊- audio ✅-recommendation list ⭐-Ella's favorites 😍- romantic 🌈- queer 😴- regular ole’ hypnosis 🛀- brainwashing and/or hypnotist in a tub 👻- spooky ❓- bad or reeeally questionable consent  👨‍🔬 -science! 🤪 -crackfic #-#sceneideas 😭-feeeels  🦄 -mythological creatures   🔥 -explicitly sexy  🔁 switchy switches 😵‍ -intelligence play  🫥-amnesia 🏴‍☠️- Our Flag Means Death fanfic ☕- comfort 🤏-tiny fic 💌-poem 🚫- denial or teasing 🪞-autobiographical or contains autobiographical elements 🧲 old timey mesmerism

Day 1: Dazed 🔊⭐😴

File description: One Take Wonder induction designed to remind you that going into trance isn't difficult at all.

It's OK.

Just drift.

Day 2: Brain Drain M/m(/m) 📰 😴 🌈😍 🔁🏴‍☠️☕

Choice quote: "Izzy grinned too, feeling oddly proud to be trusted with this quiet moment. He and Ed had never been conventional. Maybe it was OK that Ed and Stede weren't either."

Day 3: Coils (Author/you) 📰 😴 🤏☕

Choice quote: "When I say 'my words coil around you', it IMPLIES control but what it really gives is permission. "

Day 4: Denial 🔊😴🔥🚫

File description: "Denial. That's it. That's all the description you get."

Fun fact: Unless you want spoilers- then head over here

Day 5: Maid (The author/you) 📰 🤏🛀

Choice Quote: "What if you could clean your home and clean your mind at the same time? "

Day 6: Soul Contract (Being/supplicant) 📰 🤏🦄🤪

Choice quote: "So- you say you'll give me your free will?"

Fun fact: This is secretly Good Omens fanfic about Aziraphale (with the serial numbers filed off).

Day 7: Repetition is Hypnotic 🔊👨‍🔬

File description: "Repetition is Hypnotic- what it says on the tin"

Day 8: Addicted (M/f) 📰 ⭐❓😭🛀🪞

Choice quote: "It felt like being owned. It felt like love. Then just as surely as the flood started- it stopped."

Fun fact: This was NOT a fun story to write, partially because it dug up some of my and my friends' worst experiences. I'm glad it's been helpful for some people who have been in some really bad situations, though- I'm hope I did you all justice. You (and we all) deserve so much more than this.

Day 9: Erased (?/f) 💌🛀

Choice quote: "That had all been/Erased"

Day 10: Confidence (F/f) 📰😴🌈🫥❓😍🤪🧲

Choice quote: "'No,' interrupted the young mesmerist. 'I mean- I know this is quite unusual but- I find myself quite fond of you, Harriet.'

Day 11: Attitude Adjustment/IQ Reduced (M/f) 📰⭐😴😍😵‍#🔥

Choice quote: "'That's good, honey,' he encouraged. 'You don't need to think right now. I've got all your bigger thoughts for safekeeping.'"

Day 12: Hyperfocus (The author/you) 📰😴🤏👨‍🔬

Choice quote: "I know you can focus, but can you HYPERfocus?"

Day 13: Smile (Being/f) 📰🤏👻🦄

Choice quote: "It made her smile."

Day 14: Impossibly Deep (Person/person) 📰🤏❓🛀🫥#

Choice quote: "'Not possible to be this deep, isn't that right?'

'Mmmm not possible. Too deep.'"

Day 15: Shatter 🔊👨‍🔬🛀

File description: Just a quick loopable file with a nice "shatter" mantra

Day 16: Sex Obsessed ✅🌈

Fun fact: Recommendation list of my favorite content from my friend @sex-obsessed-lesbian

Day 17: Corrupted (M/f) 📰⭐🤏❓🔥#

Choice quote: "'I can give you what you want," he said, silkily. "All the submission. All the pleasure. Everything you've been dreaming of...All you need to give me in return,' he continued, 'is your 'no'".

Day 18: Pet 🔊☕😴

File description: I'm a bit sick so- did some nice self hypnosis around the idea of being pet.

Day 19: Elevator (F/f) 📰😴🔁#

Choice quote: "Have you ever ridden the Tower of Terror at Disney World?" Ivy asked.

Day 20: Transformation 🪞⭐

Choice quote: "She didn't know that something could be both campy playacting and extremely real at the same time-the feelings, the bonding, the lingering effects-all of it."

Day 21: Forget 🔊🤪🫥👨‍🔬

File description: "Similar to the style of Samsung's website that helps you forget TV series you've watched, this file is designed to help you forget all of my Hypnovember content for this year- so you can experience it again for the first time!"

Day 22: Hypnotic Hands (F/f) 📰😴#🌈

Choice quote: "But mistress could make anything hypnotic. And today she had made HER hands hypnotic too."

Day 23: ...And Back Down 💌😴😭

Choice quote: "...And back down"

Day 24: Ready to Play (F/m) 📰😴#🪞🛀🚫

Choice quote: "The slight curve of her lip indicated she had something in mind but- had it started?"

Day 25: At Peace (Being/f) 📰🤏👻🦄

Choice quote: "It was useless to fight against it- although in the beginning she had tried."

Day 26: Shadows (F/f) ����🌈🚫🛀

Choice quote: "Those shadows of her former self were still there- they helped make her who she was now. Who she was now, though, was happy."

Day 27: Shiny (F/m)📰🤏#😴🛀

Choice quote: "The leather boots weren't 'shiny, shiny' like in the song, but it didn't matter. "

Day 28: Workout (F/f) 📰⭐🛀🚫🔥🌈#

Choice quote: "'I'm going to challenge you a bit today, ok?' she says. 'Are you ready for that?'"

Day 29: Wholesome (The author/you) 📰⭐😂😴☕🪞

Choice quote: "It means something to us, and thus it has meaning"

Day 30: You Win (F/nb)📰😂😍😴☕

Choice quote: "'Hmph,' they responded, grumpily. 'I know what you're doing.'"

I'm entirely a hobbyist content creator and work primarily for feedback and belly rubs. :) (I do take tips on Ko-fi though if you're feeling generous!) If you liked anything I made this month, I'd be really really delighted to hear about it. Hell, I'm delighted to hear constructive criticism as well- anything to know this isn't all going to into a void somewhere. Reblogs are also very much appreciated.

That being said- here are a few people in particular I want to thank for your encouragement, your inspiration, your cheerleading, or just generally for helping get me through the month- @thekinkycocktailclub @mentat101posts @jam-and-stuff @linnybeenaughty @sex-obsessed-lesbian @theleeallure @tennfan2 @spiralturquoise @daja-the-hypnokitten @misscammiedawn @royb8772 @hypno-potion @hypno-sandwich @wellgnawed @redriotwest @egur19 @mozart32 @mys-oleander @sleepwithgiggli @telephonetrance @dommestic @subbypuppy (I know I'm leaving a bunch of people off so- I apologize if I am and know I still appreciate you a lot.)

Extra special shoutout to @emptyofbrains2 who has not only given me lots of great feedback but has also written a lot of her own great stuff this past month. Check out her Tumblr if you haven't already!

Stay tuned to this space for- whatever it is the future holds. :) I'm excited- I hope you are too.

Thanks y'all :)

[marcsnuffy]

as the tumblr's resident snuffy expert I have to ask you what you think snuffy and lorenzo's actual legal relationship is (like did he take on the role of his guardian or is he technically more of a sponsor) and furthermore what you think their dynamic is like behind the scenes. like even if you accept the idea that snuffy is more of a father figure to lorenzo than an employer there's no way that this guy who was a homeless orphan until he was a teenager and the man who took him in *on the basis that he be athletically successful* have like. a normal unremarkable parent-child dynamic

Thanks for the question, sorry about the yapping

I'm torn on how to answer the legal relationship question. To me, it depends on how old you think Lorenzo is during the flashback. I always thought he was around 15-16, so I rarely consider an option where Snuffy isn't his legal guardian. However I could see some PIFA fuckery involved to avoid any legal trouble in the case he didn't have a legal guardian involved before becoming an adult legally.

Even then the process for getting gold teeth takes more than one day (all the visits you need to get your teeth properly checked for the procedure, the healing process takes months and more visits, etc) and he was near death so I'd like to think he was taken care/supervised of by Snuffy during that time (which is why Lorenzo's so attached to him). (the amount of care is up to interpretation bc it's hc territory anyway)

After that, when Lorenzo started playing football, *then* it's more of a sponsor/employer/advisor?/mentor? situation that occasionally bleeds into guardian-adopteé territory but never completely. I think they had something similar to how Ray Dark ended up dropping Kaiser at the BM dorms, except I think Snuffy directly had a hand in training/teaching Lorenzo before and still kept somewhat in contact during. I also like to think he got him a tutor or something, but this is more so I can sleep well at night. Snuffy IS the "what will you do when football's no longer an option" guy anyway so it's not unrealistic.

I need to add somewhere in this post that I believe/know in my heart that Snuffy picking up Lorenzo happened a bit after Mick died (months, maybe a year max) and specifically because of it. Comparing dead Mick & almost dying Lorenzo was super common when ch. 229 came out so I won't elaborate much on it, I just wanted to mention it.

Dynamics wise... There's too much going on for them to be in a normal boss and employee situation, Snuffy isn't fazed by Lorenzo's antics at all, Lorenzo goes up to Barou* to convince him to succeed Snuffy while also bringing up Snuffy's promise to Mick and also just everything about Lorenzo's reaction to Snuffy going back on his retirement, he literally told Barou he loved him & offered him a gold tooth. I don't think he says that to anyone yknow

*and by the way this interaction always stands out to me, since the timeline of events is not clear at all. all bc the fucking blue lock building is built like a prison and idk what time it is. I think Snuffy&Barou´s conversation happened at least some hours or a day after the Ubers introduction bit. During Lorenzo's backstory dump they're wearing pajamas but then Snuffy tells them it's time to train, so I assume it's the morning after that. Anyway I wonder if Snuffy just told him about it or if he directly asked him to talk to Barou. I feel like it's the former (given their reactions to Barou accepting Snuffy's deal) but the setup kinda makes it feel like the latter. whatever it was I think it's evidence for me to say that Snuffy trusts Lorenzo.

And I feel like there's nothing direct I can point to to say they're close enough to have a regular parent and child relationship. Still I feel like just by having Lorenzo be a NG11 and the fact that he enjoys football and doesn't scream cry and throw up when he loses or when he is inconvenienced (THE BAR IS ON HELL) makes me think Snuffy is mostly a positive influence on him. I like to think Snuffy does care a lot about him but he's the type of guy that shows it by meddling (kinda like Reo or younger Sae (who wasn't much of a meddler iirc. this makes sense in my mind)) and just isn't that visibly affectionate with anyone anymore.

More about the father and son thing. This is also headcanon territory I'm sorry. I don't think they, like, go out fishing as a bonding thing or anything like that. but I do think they don't go a week w/out talking bc I think Snuffy's a bit neurotic about how the people he cares about are doing because of reasons and Lorenzo loves talking people's ears off about everything and nothing. I think Lorenzo tried giving him an expensive gift with one of his first paychecks and mentioned "paying back his debt bit by bit" as a joke that wasn't really a joke and Snuffy's face twisted & he said something along the lines of Lorenzo not owing him anything and it was awkward between them for a while after that. I think its fucking WEIRD but they care abt each other and that's what matters

TL;DR: I think there had to be a point where Snuffy was his legal guardian or at least acted like it to some degree. In regards to their dynamic behind the scenes, that is not a father that is a grieving tutor-guardian-mentor-advisor-employer-professional football player and his renowned domesticated possum employee/adopteé who is soooooooo normal about worth.

[strawberrycakelove]

No one will ever convince me that SasuSaku has nothing wrong.

No one will ever convince me that everything is fine with SasuSaku and that Sasuke is a person who is minimally or decently happy with his situation or his marriage.

How Sakura manages to be happy in her relationship is a complete mystery to me, this can only be explained by her being insane or very egocentric and the mere label of "Sasuke's wife" being enough for her, which does not speak in favor of her mental health.

Sasuke was defeated by Naruto and therefore considered himself defeated by life.

(I consider this quite dramatic and exaggerated, actually quite lame, but it's worthy of a 16 year old mental age show, as the characters matured and aged, the series could have matured too, but whatever.)

And he's lacking enough backbone to come to terms with that (and remain at the mental age of a 16 year old forever too, there's even some justice here with Sakura acting like a 15 year old after 30), he might It's ironically fair, but no one is going to convince me that there's nothing wrong here.

Then he took Sakura, because that was understandably what he had left at Leaf, and he probably just kept her and had a child to demonstrate that, if not, he was at least on good terms with the village (because he doesn't stay in the village, he is he was always traveling/doing missions etc), he was not unwilling either, as he placed a child there of his blood as a guarantee, that he would at least not destroy his son's house.

It's my haedcannon, he's not complimentary to Sasuke, but I'm not obligated just because I sympathize with his character, because love, affection, attention and a family he didn't give to Sarada even in her most critical years.

It's as if he had completely forgotten his own resentment towards his father in his childhood because he realized he was passed over to Itachi.

Ah! but Naruto did the same to Boruto!

No!, Naruto didn't even have a family to have a better reference, it's very likely that he believes that having blood ties and being alive is enough (after all, that's what HE missed, a living family and blood ties)

Naruto is at least within Boruto's reach, and I think he truly believes that's enough.

Naruto just doesn't understand that Boruto expects his father to come to him, probably Naruto thinks that if Boruto needs something, he will look for him, like Naruto did when he needed something from someone and didn't hesitate to get it.

Naruto doesn't understand that Boruto isn't as independent as he is (Naruto doesn't even understand that he himself needed to become independent).

It's natural for him not to understand to a certain extent, Boruto has everything he didn't have (besides family and blood ties) he has talent and intelligence, why wouldn't he be independent?

Sasuke already knows very well that (having family and blood ties), talent and intelligence, does not make you naturally independent (as he resented his father's lack of attention and brooded for years about not knowing more after having managed to call his pay attention to the fireball jutsu), as he is another who was forced to become independent on his own.

And yet, he chooses to ignore Sarada's needs and feelings, being rude enough to say it was none of her business.

What do you mean, it's not her business to have something about her family? What do you mean, she of all people and being his daughter, wouldn't have similar feelings?

Sarada looks like a piece on a game board, and it's not like a person, let alone a Shinobi in a Shinobi Village, in history, wasn't commonly treated like pieces on a board, and I think Sasuke just accepted playing the game.

Which is decadent for a character who was so outraged by the inhumane way his clan and his brother were treated, with someone who insisted on bringing the Kages back to life to find out why they would find it acceptable.

To someone who asked Kakashi what he would do if he lost everything he loves.

To someone who said that if they wanted everything to go back to the way it was before, that his clan would be brought back.

For someone who resented his own survival of the massacre.

He knows what it's like, he knows these feelings very well, he didn't collapse for nothing after Itachi's truth was revealed, he knows it all very deeply.

He is not like Naruto who grew up and survived absence and emotional emptiness, Sasuke lived in a hell of pain and longing exactly because he knows how much of this can be lacking in a person.

Then he ignores Sarada's feelings.

Sasuke sank into a pit even deeper than Kakashi's after being defeated by Naruto.

Sarada really looks the piece here.

Why did he allow himself to have a child if he wasn't in a position to have one?

It's not like he couldn't have figured out how to avoid conception, he lived with Orochimaru for years and even studied to defeat him, for lack of intellectual capacity he isn't, in a world where even Madara could in a rudimentary way make a graft , that he couldn't not figure out how to do contraception. Are there no condoms or vasectomies in the world of Naruto?, in a world where eyes are transplanted as replacement parts? He accepted being without an arm, sterilizing himself would be the least of it, and with medicine from Naruto's world this should be easily reversible.

He was simply irresponsible to allow Sakura to get pregnant and forget about Sarada for 12 years.

Sakura was also irresponsible, but her character has always crawled in the mud when it comes to both self-love and common sense, so her choices being more than questionable in the intimate field simply isn't surprising. But Sasuke's descent into rock bottom is shocking. No one will ever convince me that there is nothing wrong with SasuSaku. With Sasuke or Sakura here.

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - Everything is Awful or New or Both

Feb 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessmen t of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - It’s an ep 11 so we knew this was gonna be a downer. This was definitely a “date me date my friends” kind of situation. At this rate, GeminiFourth’s other characters in Chicken are going to kiss before TinnGun do. I love Tinn’s dad. Also, it looks like our a tiny little ship of crumbs is sailing. How cute is that!? Sunshine + sunshine! Bonza. 

Bed Friend (Sat YT & iQIYI uncut) 1 of 8 - Fuck buddies get messy, AKA Between Us the second cumming only this time in an office (and on a desk). I have been waiting for James to hold down (or be held down in) a BL for years! All hail the new kings of high heat. BUCKLE UP I GOT A LOT TO SAY. I like that there’s a dark underbelly (*snicker*) of trauma to this one, it has a slightly a Japanese feel which suits mature characters and an office setting. King’s yearning worried eyes are glorious. Poor thing, he totally adores this beautiful broken fragile boy and doesn’t know how to capture his attention. I admit Net was the one I worried about with this pair. James was always gonna be great. It turns out, I didn’t have to worry. This is an awesome show and I fucking love it. It nearly scooped the top spot. Frankly this is the Office BL I have been WAITING for Thailand to give us. 

NOTE: I watched both YT’s cut and iQIYI’s uncut version. (Anyone else feel odd using those terms under a high heat BL context?) I like YT’s better, mostly iQIYI’s interface is shit. Deets? There was a little extra from the “morning after regrets flashbacks” but not so much I think you’ll regret missing it. Unless you REALLY prefer high heat. The emotion of the sexual connection and Uea’s lonely submissive need was transmitted in both versions, but the iQIYI is slightly more MOAR. 

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 10 of 12 - Flashbacks to the cutest boyfriends ever and then PAIN. All I can think is “thank fuck this was handed to Pond & Phuwin.” One of the world’s saddest executions of the sniff test trope. Meanwhile, Perth is SO GOOD but I wish Chopper would record his conversations with his dad. Look, we all know Chopper is gonna take his dad’s bullet for Nuengdiao, right? Oh well, if you didn’t know, I just told you. 

Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 3-4 of 8 - The plot... erm... thickens. I told you Jim had a tragic backstory with an ex. And now it’s all gotten VERY messy. Sigh. Fourth & Gemini are cute, tho. 

Hit Bite Love (Sat YouTube) ep 4-5 of 6 - I do like King & Burger. The idea of giving your perspective boyfriend your CV is ADORBS. Auditioning for the part, as it were. I would like it known that my sexual identity is chili (AKA spicy) henceforth. (My pronouns are MaxTul & sometimes Phi.) Look, this is an absurd show. Last ep it was BDSM 101, this ep we got a lesson on how to use a condom properly? AND why the closet is both necessary and damaging? I mean I applaud their educational endeavors but BL: The After School Special? Did I sign up for Degrassi Junior BL while I wasn’t looking? 

Boyband (Thurs YT) 1 of 10 - BL drama about putting an idol boyband together. AKA how to make ABL suffer by combing favorite (celebrity romances, Kpop) and least favorite (bad singing) tropes. AND? I REALLY like it. It’s fun! What singing there is, is looped not live. So we in Cutie Pie territory. It’s easy to skip. The pairing is rich/poor and I like an other side of the tracks romance.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 8 of 10 (or 15&16 of 20) - Covid strikes. Boyfriends are worried. Omg they are so cute and hot and awkward. Tension in the office politics too. It’ll be okay, babies. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan) ep 1 of 6 - After getting dumped, Ritsu has an accident and gets amnesia. Ikuya, his ex, struggles to help him regain his memories while wondering about the state of their relationship. But Ritsu falls in love with Ikuya all over again. Engaging opening but I’m just not sure about the premise. 

It’s Airing But ... 

Chains of Heart (Sat Gaga) 1 of 10 - Not dropping for me until tomorrow so it’ll be in next week’s round up I hope. Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, amnesia, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Marc (My Gear & Your Gown in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy.

My Beautiful Man 2 (Viki & Gaga) - Because there are only 4 eps, I decided to wait and binge this one. 

Cafe In Love (Thai) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, stars the actor who played Noh’s best friend Ohm in Love Sick 2. When his coffee shop closes, a man tries everything to save it and falls in love along the way. I had a hunt but can’t find it. 

Moments Of Love (Thai) Feb 14 Foremorfilm Production movie for cinema release. Was originally a series with Golf (609 Bedtime Story & The Eclipse) to direct, and SmartJames (LeonPhob from Don't Say No) to star. BUT is now something totally different. We’re all confused.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV ) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Engineering student Songkram is head of dorm 3, for "strong & athletic" students. Aye is head of dorm 2, for the "good looking" students. Aye used to be Songkram's tutor and friend, but they fell apart after becoming dorm heads. Aye is actually in love with Songkram but thinks Sonkram likes someone else. Songkram actually likes Aye. So, Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets that weird Japanese “girls-crossdressing-as-boys for love and infiltrating secret society of hotness” tradition.

Our Winter (Thai & Korea ?) - TutorYim vehicle supposedly airing now. Search me. 

The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (Japan Sun Gaga) - DNFing this one. It’s way too high heat for them to end it happily and full of dark stuff like cheating, suicide, depression, abuse. I actively HATE one of the main characters and mildly dislike the other. Easier to just stop watching.  

Next Week Looks Like This:

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments some are inaccurate, NOT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My favorite thing to happen in BL this week. Possibly EVER.

Honestly, such a weird little After School Special. (All Hit Bite Love.) 

SAIL MY LITTLE CRUMBS! SAIL!!!! 

You TELL her, Paw. (All My School President) 

We stan the out boy. Own it, babycakes. (Moonlight Chicken.) 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Beautiful by BEAST, look, sometimes we gotta go back to our roots. Check out the legends for what they were, criticize my taste later. Fuck I miss those times when everyone had to sing live and the one with the hot mic had to stop dancing to catch his breath because, ya know, he still had to sing. 

ALL that said, you slackers should check out HELLO GLOOM - Dancing In The Dark. I alway said IMFACT was the most woke Kpop group, now they broken up(?) nice to see ‘em solo in queer fuck-off style. 

[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

DAN AND PHIL REACT TO PHAN TWITTER REACTIONS w/ timestamps

.03 sir please don’t crack your hands in my ears.

.11 way to early in the video for a phude Jumpscare

.16 DIP AND PIP ?!!!??

.26 tbh shoutout to Phil for acknowledging that even tho we have fan accounts, not everything we say, create, post is something we would want them to see. Love the self awareness. Appreciate the space he provides

.35 rip Dan memes and tumblr tags

.56 I actually needed to be told I am gorgeous and intelligent, I knows it’s fake but it’s nice to hear even if fake

1.37 WHY IS HE **** ********* THE MIC N O NO NO NO NO WHAT??????

2.08 chill Phil we weren’t gonna fight about it. You’re Edward… OKAY

2.25 how many times are they going to watch pinof 1 ! Babes you can do that anytime you want not just on camera

2.37 Phil is in FULL CRISIS realizing how messy he is as if they haven’t already talked about this before

3.09 TUMBLR NEVER LEFT. YOU LEFT.

3.29 the synced lean in as they discovered the dan has something in his teeth bit was a video

3.40 SO SO SO GLAD THE SOCK VIDEO MADE IT. AND HES ACKNOWLEDGING

3.46 SHOES SOCK VIDEO JUMPS ARE😭😭😭

4.24 “keep reading” oh goodness that. Sir. Okay.

4.44 hi just realized is Dan wearing a muscle tank under the see through shirt????? Side note. Want the see through shirt

5.03 FANTASTIC FOURSOME JUMPDVARE

6.14 NO DAN NOT KATE THEY ARE LISTENINF. DONT BECOME INVOLVED IN ANOTHER ROYAL CONSPIRACY

7.41 absolutely fire meme. I laughed so loud I actually had to pause the video. Worst part? I had already reposted on twt yet still reacted to it

8.05 he is staring into my soul. Hell how is he staring THROUGH my soul

9.17 no words. “It’s not a bad look” alakakakak???

9.22 So suddenly it’s not “we” anymore, huh?

9.53 rip Phil’s slit😫

10.08 I just through Dan making a joke then immediately hitting Phil to let him know he was joking was really funny. Stuff I do with my friends I am tactile

11.46 I ALWAYS thought that image was edited to have all of them. I didn’t realize it was a real photos

12.38 OH MY FOS????? JUMPSVARE WHAT THE HELL

12:45 those pounds weee so aggressive. It sounded like they really hurt. I’m hurt listening

12:46 Phil is watching that monitor like a HAWK he is NOT losing monetization bc Dan wants to wap

13.00 Phil saw and saved this and nobody knew. He lurks. Nobody is safe.

13:36 about nine “what can I say”s in. Dan has a genuine look of terror and confusion. He looks like he’s playing up his reaction a bit in the beginning, laughing and stuff and acting annoyed but this point is genuine horror and realization. This is so gold. Will be giffing later. Also precious Phil

14.50 okay the editing kinda memes his monologue a bit but i was high key inspired. He’s so wrote. Everything is a story that must be concluded. I love that thought process. Clearly bc I am also a grade a yapper but still

15:50 oh the immediate IMMEDIATE regret in Phil’s face

16:35 we love a self aware king. The poster was a tad rough

16:56 THUS CIDEO AND COMMENTARY JS SO SO SO GOOD

17:38 YES THANK YOU THE WADVERT WAS RVEFHONE. We couldn’t eat sleep or think without seeing it

18:11 please wash your blanket? Guys? Like? You can clean, wash, or dry clean anything. Please?

19:00 tbh saw under the robbing blanks and it wasn’t even that bad? Compared to every horrific demon phannie thing that has been seen? Not bad! Could have been worse

19:45 2021 period???? Hello??? You were gone since 2018? At least from dapg??

20:44 yet???? Capitolestor strikes again

20:50 did they not have a keep calm and something on poster in their apt at one point??? Some people?? You mean you???

21:16 I SAW THIS WHEN IT DROPPED. love dami sm. This video was so good

22:24 JUMPSCARE

22:55 “1992” “Daniel” calm down

23:25 “you also let me” guys??? How is this forced situation? Who decided??

24:20 he needs to back away from the mic I can feel him breathing in my ears my goood ess??

24:34 I’m screaming bc they used a clip from the section before we all thought they got high. This section they posted was just a cute section

24:54 literally speechless. Also jumpscare?

26:30 the entire dan induced conclusion is beautiful I love them and their banter

26:54 nvm can you lean into the mic closer and tell us you’re proud again??? Needed that???

[voidedaurora]

All of this is just so…. Like….shocking???? There’s so much I wanna say or ask but I don’t know where to start.

I hope you don’t think I’m being hateful or spiteful towards Mel when I say this, but she truly is such a weirdo for latching onto some 15 yr old as I suppose she’s a replacement for you. actually, not even a suppose, she is definitely a replacement!! From the oc shipping to the vr video, obviously this might be some jab or “fuck you lol” video to you.

as the adult in that situation , she should set clear fucking boundaries with that child and also lock her out of the server!!!! I can’t even imagine their convos in private if she’s so comfortable posting stuff like that and letting some 15 yr old have some freaky ass discord thing in her 16+ server.

also if people were calling me a fucking groomer or a kiddy diddler fiddler, I would address it as soon as possible if not IMMEDIATELY because ain’t no way will I have something so serious be a role/status played onto me.

how funny is it for her to be quick to call ppl groomers and pedos but radio silent on this situation

🧡

Its definitely really weird that Mels using Khai as some replacement for me, makes me super uncomfortable and honestly really sick to my stomach? This girl does not know how to let go and it shows. Its also really weird to me because she was the one who cut ME off? How u gonna cut someone off and decide you dont like them but still try and replicate everything to do with them?? It just doesn't make sense to me

And absolutely, She used to actually have pretty decent boundaries with khai, not letting people be sexual around her, not making sexual jokes around her, etc. But that all seemed to melt away once she got to "know her better" and became a chronic VRchat addict with her, deciding that she wasn't as immature as "I made her out to be". It's even odder when you know all of what I know about khai as a person, she's done some real fucked up shit and Mel knows that. Used to even hate her because of the shit she'd done, but that's all just been forgotten or she doesn't care anymore She definitely needs to make some sort of response, though I dont know what kind of response she could even make with the evidence of her behavior being POSTED HERSELF, there's not exactly anything to refute or prove wrong . I hope Mel stops doing this weird shit, gets help, kicks khai out of the server/Stops talking to her??, and generally just gets better. I never wanted to have to be the one to have to bring her down but she's just gotten worse and worse, It honestly hurts a bit seeing just how disgusting she's gotten as someone who used to be her closest friend

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

911 Spoilers Season 2: You’ve been warned. 😅

Episode 15-18

Episode 15

• Bank safe emergency where Hen gets trapped.

• Eddie using his military background, believes the man collapsing is caused by a nerve agent.

• During the rescue Buck is watching Eddie drill the safe door.

I feel the need to explain myself and the reason why my notes say things like Buck is watching Eddie. The entire point of this little project of mine is to dissect the concept of Buddie and my reasoning for shipping them. Which means understanding Buck and Eddie as individuals and just noting down even the smallest interactions we see on screen of them together. Yes it’s a bit unhinged I’m aware.

• Buck being Buck and doing everything he can to save Hen. Which includes aggressively driving the fire engine to create a hole in the wall.

• Eddie, Buck, Bobbie looking through the hole in the wall. I think this moment would make for a cute background photo.

• The 118 get back from the rescue. Buck and Eddie hopping out of the truck together.

• Eddie being sassy, hands on his hips when cops find the money in the truck.

• Interrogations; Buck being adorable and confused. Eddie being annoyed and sassy.

• Buck and Eddie hanging the Welcome Banner for Chimney.

• Eddie worried about money. Taking on multiple shifts for Christopher. Openly stating that Christopher is worth the struggle. Also spending $150 on surf lessons. Eddie and Shannon working on their relationship. Eddie still holding her at arms length.

• Eddie and Buck being equally as sassy with the rest of the 118, while confronting Frank the actual thief.

• Buck sitting across from Eddie when Bobby, Athena, and Hen are trying to explain the crime. Buck being confused.

Episode 16

• Bobby Begins Again. The first 5 minutes of this episode broke me.

• No Buddie.

• We are introduced to how Buck first interacted with Bobby.

• Buck and Eddie standing close together when Bobby announces he’s being investigated and can’t act as captain.

Episode 17

• Eddie, Shannon, and Christopher on the beach "Playing Family"

• Eddie is unsure of his feelings towards Shannon. If he sees her as just Christopher’s mother or is he actually in love with her.

• Shannon tells Eddie that she might be pregnant. He is completely shocked.

When I say “playing family” I don’t mean it to sound dismissive or criticizing this family dynamic. They are a family, but they are playing into what others would expect from them. The interactions Shannon and Eddie have together feels like it’s for Christopher and not necessarily for their love of each other. Shannon being the one to ask Eddie, “what is this” show cases the uncertainty in the relationship.

• Buck is freaking out about figuring out a plan to get Bobby back as Captain.

• Eddie and Buck cleaning up and rolling up hoes and putting it back into the truck.

• Buck and Eddie pressed up near each other against the fire truck.

• Eddie bringing up his situation with Shannon to Bobby.

• Chocolate factory rescue; Buck and Eddie make eye contact while trying to pull man out. Eddie catching Buck and preventing him from falling into the chocolate.

• First Bombing victim rescue; Eddie watches husband tell his wife he loves her. Eddie contemplating his relationship with Shannon even more.

• Eddie FaceTiming Shannon, says “I love you”. As he hangs up, Buck appearing out of nowhere and asking Eddie “when’s the wedding?”

• Eddie is now contemplating remarrying Shannon.

• Eddie and Shannon go out on a date. Eddie goes on to give a speech about their relationship. Eddie begins to describe their relationship as something that drags him down, but that he knows it. He’s comfortable in their relationship.

I wish I was exaggerating. Eddie really thought that the best way to confess what he believes is love and wanting to reestablish their relationship as a married couple was to say she drags him down in a weird metaphor about chocolate she obviously wouldn’t understand.

• Eddie wants to propose but Shannon wants a divorce. Shannon tells him she’s not pregnant, she was just late. Both Eddie and Shannon are easily able to talk about how much they love Christopher.

• This interaction really show cases how amazing of a father Eddie is and how it comes easier to him than being in the relationship with Shannon.

• At the car accident scene Buck is the first realizes Shannon is the injured person. (At least the first reaction we see)

• Buck tying to keep Eddie calm and away from the scene, but ultimately failing.

• Eddie saying good bye was sort of cold and distant. You can blame the military for this, if you want another explanation for the behavior. I will admit that " be silent" will always be off putting and out of place. It honestly made the moment a bit funny and took me out of any sad emotions I was feeling.

• Did the 118 kill Shannon by not intubating sooner?!

Chimney and Hen have a scene right after explaining how she was going to die regardless of what they did. But honestly it does not feel that way. The entire situation just felt like a cheap and easy way to get rid of Shannon and not include her in the overall story anymore. Personally I wish we saw Eddie and Shannon go through the divorce and maintain a healthy coparenting relationship.

• Eddie picks up Shannon’s things. Has to tell Christopher that his mother died.

• Buck is visibly worried about Eddie.

• Eddie is cryng at the beach.

So my personal head cannon is that Eddie is gay man in denial, speaking as a woman who was once in denial of her sexuality. I might make a more detailed post of closeted/denial gay Eddie, but for now I will say that I wholeheartedly believe that Eddie really did think he was in love with Shannon. He cared for her, was attracted to her, had love for her, but not actually in love with her.

Episode 18

• We meet Eddie's family. 🙁

• His parents want Eddie to move back to Texas with the ruse that Christopher needs to be close to family.

• Eddie estabishes he has a life and family in LA. His tía reenforces this point. He definitely is also talking about the 118.

• Buck is searching for an apartment with Ally.

• Live Stream rescue; Where Eddie and Buck are being shipped by viewers. Comments like “they are a cute couple” graced our screens.

• Buck trapped under the fire engine after the bomb exploded.

• Eddie death glares the bomber.

• The collateral damage comment from the bomber almost sent Eddie on attack mode.

• Eddie being the one to pull him out from under the truck.

• Eddie being along side him in the ambulance.

• Buck waking up in hospital bed to Carla.

• Buck being destroyed over the fact that he might not work again as a firefighter.

• Ally kisses Buck passionately. It’s a bit off putting because we barely saw her in the season. Their relationship was definitely off screen and implied, I liked Ally, wish we saw more of her.

• Bobbie is back as captan. Hen states "Every thing is back to how it should be " Eddie corrects her with an “Almost" in reference to Buck not being there.

• Buck chose the wrong aparment with Ally given the circumstances.

• Ally doesn’t want him to be a firefighter. They breakup because of their lifestyle differences. They end up breaking up.

• Buck getting dressed up for Eddies ceremony. He should stay home to heal but states nothing is more important than this ceremony.

• Buck only thinks he only matters as a firefighter.

• Back sitting front row for Eddie's ceremony. Buck being so proud watching Christopher walk over to Eddie with the helmet.

• Buck and Eddie hug 🥰

Something I want to note. During the montage of Eddie’s ceremony we get all these cute little clips of Eddie and Buck and Christopher individually. Laughing, hugging, messing around. My favorite thing the editors did was post a clip of Eddie eating cake and than switching over to Buck eating cake or Eddie interacting with friends and family and switching over to Buck interacting with family and friends. I can’t say that was done on purpose, but I like to believe it was.

[compassionatereminders]

I'm sorry I just wanted to vent...

A close friend of mine (19F), revealed to my mom that I’m a lesbian. I had two relationships with girls—one from ages 15 to 17 and another when I was 18, but that one only lasted a few months because she kept pressuring me for sex just a month and a half into our relationship and I just wasn't ready since I didn't know her for very long.

I’ve known this girl friend since I was 11, but she only found out about my sexuality six months ago (after I ended things with my last girlfriend.)

Throughout our friendship, she never showed any animosity towards lesbians or gay individuals. I live with my mom, and we often clash, which has left me feeling quite down. I decided to confide in her about my struggles with my mom, who has been calling me worthless, and the hurtful comments from my ex-girlfriend. I just needed someone to listen.

Life was pretty normal until a few days ago when my mom confronted me on Wednesday regarding my being a lesbian. I think she stopped by and told her everything. I’ve recently started hanging out with a new girl, and we went out on a date on Wednesday, so she probably came over because she didn’t have my mom’s contact info and she’s not on any social media platforms.

What really stings is that my friend knew I was on a date and still decided to tell my mom I’m a lesbian on that very day. My mom's reaction was severe; she almost hit me. My friend is fully aware of my mom's homophobic views, and I had made it clear that I didn’t want to come out to her—at least not while living under her roof. Yet, she went ahead and did it anyway. I later discovered from another friend that this same person had been expressing how disgusting she finds lesbians, even though she’s fine with gay men. She had been saying these things for months, but the other friend didn’t want to tell me, fearing it would hurt me to know my friend was spreading my secret.

Right now, I find it hard to trust any of my friends. They were aware that I was a lesbian months ago & they chose to gossip with that so-called good friend of mine. It feels like they only revealed this information because they knew exactly what she did to me.

I can't live with my dad, but I'm about to turn 19. For the past year, I've been working part-time because I've always wanted to save up to move out as soon as possible. My only choice now is to find a roommate. My mom recently broke the laptop she got me when I was 16, thinking I'm meeting girls online. She didn’t take my phone since I bought it myself, but she told me I can't eat any food she bought. I can only come home and stay in my room, and everything that belongs to her is off-limits. I can't even cook (if I buy myself food) because she owns all the pans & the stove. And if I don’t like it, I should just move out.

I asked my friend why she acted the way she did, and she replied that she was only trying to help, especially since my mom is homophobic. But that doesn't quite add up, as she has openly said that being a lesbian is gross. To her other friends she said she never expressed such opinions before because she didn't know any lesbians so it did not bother her, but now that she does, she is disgusted.

One of the girls I know got in touch to ask if I needed help, but it feels hypocritical because she’s been gossiping about me too.

Thank you for being here to listen. I feel quite alone in this, and honestly, I can’t bring myself to talk to the girl I went out with about this. It just seems overwhelming, and I don’t want to feel like I’m imposing on her.

Outing you like that against your wishes is completely unacceptable, evil and dangerous behavior and I'm so fucking sorry that she forced you into this situation! There is truly no excuses for doing what she did.

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Beginning and Depending on God

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ Proverbs 14:16 One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ James 4:17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM DEPENDING ON GOD

I AM STARTING MY DAY WITH GOD

I AM DEVOTED TO GOD

I AM LIVING IN THE LIGHT

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READ TIME: 8 Minutes & 31 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

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     Many of us know the right thing to do and what to do, but we refuse to do it because we feel like it's our life. When we have this attitude, we will never grow in God because we are pursuing our plans. We read this week that Israel told God they were comfortable with their sins, and they didn’t 

want to change. A lot of us are like this, but when we keep going back and forth between God and the world, we are thinking, “I don’t care what God has for me; I want this; I don’t care what God thinks of this I want that,” and we have to stop being this way because this is killing us spiritually some us are so dead spiritually we can't pray, we can't worship, because we need to repent

 John 15:4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

   When we remain in God, repent, and do as he say, we will produce fruits, but when we do what we want and fail to do the right thing, we won't change. We can try to water whatever it is ourselves, go to counseling, go to the gym, and go to therapy, but if we aren’t doing it in him, if we don’t depend on him if we aren’t growing through him, we won't grow anything!! He says that we won’t bear the fruit by ourselves; we must look at God as the fertilizer to the garden of our life; we can plant all the right things and do all the right things, but if we don’t have God and we don’t fertilize and separate and do what he says we won’t grow anything.

Verse 5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing

 Again, it tells us we won't accomplish anything when we do it ourselves. He is the vine, the source, the main thing, the menu to our life, the team lead, the CEO, the vine, and everything regarding change in our lives. Every day, we can choose God, life, and light, but if we take the opportunity to do everything opposite, we won't grow. Some of us are not achieving anything in our lives because we have forgotten about God; we have let go of our prayer or worship time, and we have stopped doing what we know how to do because we haven’t made time for God.

  Verse 8: To my father’s glory, you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

 It says that when we bear fruit, we are showing the world we are his disciples, but when we do what we want and react the way we want, we won't grow and change. We won't bear fruit; some of us are bearing nothing because we are comfortable with that, but God wants us to grow deeper in him, and to do that, he must dig up the weeds. He must move us to another pot meaning placing us in different situations , and he can do that because he is a God; he doesn’t have to ask us or tell us. I had some problems, and I didn’t even realize I wasn’t dealing with them until he stepped in and showed me a better way.

  Sometimes, we don’t see our problems because we have become immune to our bad words, bad behavior, and bad habits; we become immune to it all ,to get healed, for him to teach us. We must be willing to learn. We must be willing to let go of what we taught ourselves and be willing to learn from him, see God see us right where we are; we don’t have to pretend to be these people who know what we are doing; we can go to God in whatever state we are in, and he will show us the way.

 John14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but by me.

  It tells us here Jesus is the truth, and he’s the life; we don’t have any of these things living in us until we start to know him until we come to him; some of us are trying to get ourselves back in line with God, and we keep failing because we think we have to do that on our own , all he wants us to do every day is to come to him, read our word ,come to him and pray and come to him and worship, but some of us don’t even try because we don’t have the will power to say no to the flesh, we have to make the choice he’s not going to make us, are you willing to change? Are you willing to have him fertilize your life with good things?

  Psalm 54:4 Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life

  David realized he couldn’t do anything without God; David realized that God held his life in his hands, and he couldn’t have a life without God; if it weren’t for God, he wouldn’t have gone from a shepherd boy to a king, that everything in his life was because of God. We must understand that God loves us so much and that our lives can’t begin until we depend on God; God doesn’t want us to depend on anyone else to fix us.

   I hit a tough point in my life. I thought going to therapy was excellent and going on medication would be great, but what I realize is those things are there to help. Still, my biggest help was when I started gathering around God more; I started reading my word more. I started praying more, and when I did that, that is what helped me through my tough spot; sometimes it’s not what we do, it’s who we do it with, friends; when I started doing more with My God when I started sitting down and having an honest conversation with My God, I started seeing a difference. Until we start having honest conversations and authentic moments with God, we won’t change. Start a real conversation and intimacy with God, and you’ll see the difference.

  ***Today, we talked about God being over our lives and about him being everything to us, not just someone we know, but a God in our lives; we can start seeing the difference. Proverbs 3 tells us something powerful, and this is a verse many of us can quote, but do we apply it? Do we honestly lean on God with all our hearts and souls?? Do we genuinely acknowledge him or just say I know him.

 Proverbs 3:5- 6: Trust the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.

  God can make the path we are on straight. He can take care of us even in our challenging times; he can do everything we need, but we must depend on him, not medication, not our therapist, not our spouses, not our jobs, but Him; we must start making Him the head and not the tail. He’s the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end; he’s our everything, but we must acknowledge him as this! If you have found yourself in a situation where you haven’t acknowledged him, take the time to see the difference.  ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, we thank you for everything; we ask you to help us acknowledge you and help us to seek you every day. Lord, we have stuff to do and places to go, but we ask you to help us seek you daily! Lord, we love you so much, and we are sorry if we have been ignoring you; we are sorry if we refuse to give you honor; we ask that you help us to draw closer to you every day in Jesus' Name, Amen

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REFERENCES

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+ Hebrews 13:6 So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

 

+ Psalm 121:2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

 

+ Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus

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FURTHER READINGS

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Proverbs 29

Leviticus 29

Numbers 11

1 Samuel 16

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