#light pollution is so important yall!!!

[outofmydepthatapublicbeach]

stargazing- Julien Baker x fem!reader

summary: You and Julien go on a stargazing date at a dark site.

jj chats: this is a little short!! and i kinda ranted a bit about light pollution but its bc it is so important for people to know!!! i hope y'all like this!!!

word count: only like 600ish

warnings: RPF, kisses, cuddling, no use of y/n, pet names used (honey, babe).

feedback is encouraged and i'd love to get some just please be kind!!!

The cool autumn hair chilled your exposed skin, goosebumps rising. The blanket underneath you was soft as you stared up into the clear night sky. You had talked about wanting to go stargazing for a while and well, Julien being Julien, she searched the internet for the closest dark site. She wanted to give you the best experience she could, and that required the spot with the least amount of light pollution. The car ride was a little longer than you’d expected, but it was all worth it.

You were wrapped in Juliens arms, bundled in sweater over sweater. She held you tight, as if afraid to let you go. You sigh, “It’s so beautiful up here.”

Julien hummed, gliding her hands up and down your sides. “I told you it would be worth it.”

“I know, I know,” you laughed, turning your head to the side to face her, “thank you for this Jules, you are so thoughtful.” If there was any light besides the moon and stars, you'd have been able to see how red Julien’s face flushed. Comparable to the color of strawberries, or raspberries, or even cherries. But then again, you couldn’t see. But trust that Julien felt it. 

Even though you couldn’t see her face, you could tell when she got flustered by your compliment by the way she shoved her face into your neck. Her lips found a home on your neck, giving you one kiss. However innocent and gentle it was, it still sent shivers down your spine. 

The kiss turned into a smile as Julien started to speak, “I wish more of the world was like this.” 

“Like what?” you asked, then questioned again giggling “like total darkness?”

“No! Not like that! Just more…”

“More?” 

Julien sighs, “I can’t remember the word.”

“Starry?”

“No not that."

You think for a second, “Just you and me?” 

“Well that isn’t what I was thinking of but yeah it fits,” Julien kisses your cheek. You two continue to sit in silence for a solid minute. Two heartbeats separated from the whole world, just you and her- “pure! That's the word! More pure!” Julien exclaims.

You hum, “Pure?” 

Julien answers your questions, “I mean how sad is it that we had to look up a place to go stargazing because where we live the sky is too polluted? Imagine if the whole world looked like this, how beautiful it would be.”

“I know honey, it's scary how bad it's gotten,” you murmur, bringing your hand to her thigh, rubbing soothing circles. “Let’s enjoy the stars while we’re here huh? When we get home maybe we could look into it more and see what we can do.”

Julien agrees, turning your head to the side and kissing you deeply. And even though neither of you can see it, you both smile at each other, holding your hands together. You continue to lay in each other's arms, not wanting to be anywhere but here. And when it gets late you gather the blanket and walk back to the car, using a red tinted flashlight to guide your way. 

You walk hand in hand, the red tint makes Julien look even prettier than normal, so naturally you tell her, “You look so hot right now babe.”

Julien turns to you, her eyes wide. Even after being together for a few months, your love of complimenting your girlfriend is still growing on her. She smiles at you, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. You bring your interlocked hands up to your mouth, giving hers a kiss. 

Julien is thanking God for that red flashlight, otherwise you’d be able to see just how much she blushed due to your praise.

[days-until-burnout]

What if bad boys >:3

(romantic or platonic you choose)

ending the month with some bad boys 😎 _____

📧 🌟 Day 60 -

Characters - Jimmy + Joel + Grian Words - 613 Time - 25 mins Content - Modern AU | Ambiguous relationship

It’s hard to believe.

Jimmy can turn around and confirm for the fiftieth time that yes, they packed up their whole lives into Grian’s car. All three of their lives, shoved into boxes and suitcases, all mixed up with the goal to use all the space they had. He knows not where anything is, and Grian’s very loud rummaging for a jacket is just another sign. This is real. It’s happening. For moments, he thinks he’s still sitting behind the bleachers, laughing with Joel and Grian, joking about running away one of these old days. Mostly a joke, but they knew better. There is nothing in that town tying them down; in fact, the town is actively pushing them away. Not loudly, not very obviously, but it’d be foolish to turn a blind eye.

It’s obvious to him. And it’s obvious to them too.

“Just use a blanket, you’re gonna collapse everything!” Joel calls out eventually, his voice breaking the silence. It also breaks Jimmy out of his thoughts, he shakes his head, turning to see Joel looking back, and he follows the sight. Grian is shoving a box back, then pulling out a blanket that he quickly wraps around his head and back like a cocoon before walking over. Joel smirks, “Aren’t I clever?”

“You just have a big head,��� Grian dismisses,

Usually, they’d bicker. Jimmy’s spent his whole life hearing them bicker, poking and poking and poking at each other until physical fights broke through. Joel is pure brawns, Grian plays dirty. He thinks back fondly, shaking his head as he turns back, facing the horizon beyond them. Carefully, he crosses his arms again, resting them against the fence. Grian joins him on his left side, leaning forward on it again while Joel is on his right, on the other side of the fence, seated on top. There is a cliff a couple feet from the fence, a fall to the forest.

But that’s not very important.

The wind howls around them, everything covered in a blanket of orange and gold, and there are the last wisps of warmth in the air, settling gently on their skin. The sun sets in the horizon, at the point where the sky meets the canopies. Slowly, very slowly the world darkens, and for once, it’s not really cold.

“Ough, can’t wait to sleep in a bed.” Grian says out of the blue, his voice much louder but it’s nice regardless. Just knowing they are here, on their way to more.

“See? I said we should’ve prepared camping equipment. Would be better than sleeping in that stuffed car.”

“With what money, huh?”

“I have the money! Either way, I’m sure some old people would love to give their crap away. You didn’t even bother trying.”

“Sorry I was distracted thinking of other unimportant things like, I don’t know, gasoline! And food!”

“You’re the one whining about beds.”

“Yeah, and—”

“Hey, yall think the city will be nice?” He jumps in, smiling at the last traces of the sun. Flashes of a different world appear before him, images from movies and books, the lights and life, everything buzzing with electricity and never ending nights. The music is loud, the streets packed with cars. It'll be hard to think, and it'll be harder to ever truly feel alone, though Jimmy would never feel alone with these two by his side.

Grian scoffs, there is a smile in his words, “Nicely polluted, if anything.”

“We'll fit right in, then,” Joel whistles. And it's something quieter, softer. It's different. “We are hot messes after all.”“It'll be fun,” he says, and they hum their agreements. “This is really happening.”

_____

So. Connection died just as I was prepping to post. So mobile posting. Mobile formatting. Crying. Sobbing. Data. My poor data</3

[star-captain]

Hi, NPS ranger here with a focus on night sky protection and interpretation, and all of these points are valid! I work for an IDA Dark Sky Park, which basically means we have an incredible night sky and we protect it by keeping our park dark sky friendly- and that doesn't mean removing all light at all! It's just about the right amount of light in the right places at the right time. 40% of light is wasted

Things like using light sensors so that things illuminate only when it's needed, and makings sure the bulbs used are under a certain heat (basically color). At our park we have a lovely patio us rangers use for potlucks, and it has shielded light like the image above, so we aren't wasting light by shining it into the night sky!

Wasted light not only is a huge economic waste and adding to our carbon emissions because of the energy required, but also damaging to wildlife and us humans! Birds, mammals, bugs, sea turtles, and more all have been noted as having adverse, even deadly affects because of light pollution. A number of species rely on light to guide them, bright lights can blind them, and some even use the milky way to point them in the right direction! Humans have been noted to have troubles sleeping with light pollution, affects our hormone cycle which may even be leading to an increase of cancer because we're not producing enough melatonin. Sleep, blood pressure, digestion and more are all controlled by a biological clock that hasn't had bright lights at night until about 200 years ago. We've changed the night in a way the biosphere has never seen before.

Too much light isn't always a good thing for safety too! The IDA found that bright lighting doesn't diminish the amount of crime- in fact, if someone was not in the light while your eyes were adjusted to the brightness, you might not even be aware of someone threatening your safety!

Finally, to me, being able to see the night sky and all the stars is an incredibly important and valid reason to speak up about light pollution. At the NPS we dont consider the night sky just a natural resource like a nice view or a scientific resource like an observatory- its also a cultural resource work protecting. The stars and constellations connect us to our shared human history, to our cultures and their stories. It's a part of our history as humans to look up at the night sky and tell how those stars got there in those shapes, why the milky way is dashed across the sky. It's a part of our history as explorers and travelers and navigators to use the night sky as our guide. It reminds us that there's more beyond just earth, and important for astronomical research and earth protection (like detection a hazardous asteroid sooner).

Light Pollution is such an easy fix too, and tons of towns all over the world have become Dark Sky Communities- they still have lighting, but its controlled. Big towns like Flagstaff, Arizona is a Dark Sky Community- you can see the milky way from your driveway and still have lighting.

Reducing Light Pollution saves on money, saves the planet, reduces crime, reduces health problems, and reconnects us with our world.

I implore yall to check out the IDA- International DarkSky Association, especially if you're interested in learning how to install dark sky approved lighting (they even have a list of products!), and definitely check out this awesome documentary about Light Pollution

I am super against light pollution, and have been for decades

but I am also super annoyed by the way it's framed as "without light pollution you can see how beautiful the night sky is" way more prominently than it's framed as "hey, did you ever stop to think of how much energy/resources/money are literally wasted by having so much light shine up into the sky?"

so people get the idea that light pollution can only be remedied by eliminating all night-time light, which would make being outside at night very inconvenient, instead of by making night-time light shine only on the ground where, y'know, the people who need it are

[carrie-kelley-deserved-better]

The scene in gonacharov that gets me the most is when *spoiler* is dying outside of the city and just, laying there looking at the lights in the buildings.

Everyone alsways talks about how when they die all the lights in the buildings go out which is obviously really impactful but i think yall missed the most important part of the scene! As they're dying their head tilts up- towards the sky- they're looking at the invisable stars!

Before the lights go out none of the stars are visable because of the light pollution but once the buildings are dark suddenly the stars are there! Its such an important scene to communicate the sub theme of being blinded by what youre looking at and missing whats there but not visable to you and its So underated.

Its kinda difficult to see if you don't have your brightness set really high so i can't blame people for missing it but i just love the symbolism So Much and wanted to make sure it was talked about!

[swaggydaisy]

little ways you can save the environment

 It makes me so gosh dang sad and terrified for the future because of what’s happening to our planet today. I wanted to make this blog because I know there’s at least something on here that you can do. DO ME A FAVOR YALL AND SHARE THIS PLEASE!! It takes one person to make a HUGE impact and it takes so much more to help save our planet. Here’s a list of ideas that you can do that will make a beautiful contribution to mother earth. :) Feel free to add on in the comments if you have any ideas!

SAVING THE BEES.

So I don’t know if you guys noticed but there are less and less bees each year for some reason. I’ve done some research and you guessed it... it’s because of us. Lots of pesticides, global warming, and droughts are causing the bees to disappear. Bees are necessary for plant life because they distribute pollen and help produce 90% of our foods. No bees= no food. 

What can you do to help:

-PLANT SOME FLOWERS BABY. Attract bees by planting flowers that produce nectar and helping them provide a food source year round! check out this page to know what kind of flowers you can grow. 

https://www.planetbee.org/plant-for-pollinators

-GO ORGANIC. Pesticides are making bees super sick and humans too. Next time you’re going grocery shopping, try finding organic items. It seriously makes a difference.

-DANDELIONS AND CLOVERS IN YOUR BACKYARD. Don’t pull them out! Bees love those.

-DONATE AND SUPPORT! Help beekeepers by buying their beeswax products, (soaps, lotions, and candles) and buy organic or local honey!! If you wanna know how else to save our honeybees, here’s a link: https://thebeeconservancy.org/10-ways-to-save-the-bees/

AIR POLLUTION.

Now I know that pollution has become a regular thing and people don’t care about it so much, but uh first of all you should. Pollution is the reason why for global warming, which is destroying a bunch of habitats for a bunch of animals necessary for the food chain and possibly human life. And it also sucks breathing in disgusting air that causes other health issues. Alrighty let’s start this list. 

-LESS DRIVING AND MORE WALKING. I know, cliche. If you need to visit your neighbor, literally walk it. If you need to be somewhere less than a mile, walk it. Or bike it. hover board it. skate board it. scooter it. The less driving you do, the less carbon dioxide emits to the air and less greenhouse gases the earth traps. And more exercise baby.

-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. Buses, carpooling, and trains helps reduce air pollution!

-SHOP WISELY. Next time when you go to the store ask yourself this: Do I need it? Are there better options than this item? (like “100% made from recyclable blah blah”) Cause if you’re going to end up throwing this item away, then you’ll create more waste which emits more CO2 in the air.

- TURN OFF LIGHTS OR USE SOLAR PANELS. this is pretty self explanatory.

-PLANTS. Now instead of saying plant trees, cause it’s lowkey kind of unrealistic for some people including me to plant a whole dang tree in my yard, I’m going to simply say plant plants that absorb air pollution. Here’s a link for some ideas of which plants you can buy:

https://www.gardencentreoxford.com/news/how-to-beat-air-pollution-with-

plants

ECOSIA. Orrrr if you still wanna plant trees you can download this extension & app called Ecosia! It’s basically like google but so much better. Basically it makes money off ads when you search something up.  And here’s the awesome part, every 45 searches they PLANT A WHOLE DANG TREE. Not only you’re helping the environment, but you are helping people who are in third world countries or live in extreme environments where its hard to find food, good water, education, and jobs. Ecosia supports all of that. DOWNLOAD IT YALL!!! I’ve planted probably about like 5 trees!

PLASTIC POLLUTION.

This is probably one of my biggest concerns. We create and throw away SO much plastic. Okay story time. literally a year ago, i was hiking with my friends and we sat down on this bench. We saw this like tiny chipmunk probably the size of my hand and he was running towards this huge grocery walmart plastic bag. And all of a sudden he shoves that whole entire bag into his mouth and we sat there with our mouths wide open. It was kind of tragic and that chipmunk probably died. And there’s a bunch of animals that consume plastic and die because they are trapped in plastic. Anyways there’s a bunch of ways that we can reduce plastic use, so let’s get on with it.

RECYCLE. Imma say it over and over again. Recycle, recycle, recycle. A lot of plastics have recycling labels on them, so recycle them as much as you can!

PICK UP YOUR JUNK. If you litter, you better change your ways my dude. If that piece of garbage travels somewhere and an animal finds it, what is the likelihood that they will eat it or get stuck in it? That’s not the only case of course, but your trash also emits CO2. Also remember this if you see any garbage that’s not yours, pick it up. It may not be your junk, but it is your planet. 

 BUY A REUSABLE WATER BOTTLE. If you guys can’t remember anything else, PLEASE REMEMBER THIS! There is more than 8 million TONS of plastic water bottles are in our oceans. An average person uses 167 water bottles per year. That is unacceptable my dudes. As you may know, plastic don’t break down easily but instead turns into micro plastic items that animals consume.  It causes starvation, and kills animals. So buy a reusable water bottle. I’ve noticed that when I have a water bottle, I drink more water and save more money. If there’s ever a chance you forget a water bottle and need a plastic one, try reusing it as much as possible.  

SHOPPING FOR REUSABLE AND COMPOSTABLE PRODUCTS. I’m probably going to make another post for this, cause the list is getting long. There’s a lot of eco-safe options to reduce plastic. Like toothbrushes, tooth paste, and toiletries. 

BEACH CLEAN UPS. If you live next to a beach, try researching about ways you can help your beach, or bring your friends to help clean the beach up. You can also help by donating to beach cleanups!

FOODS

Now don’t get my wrong, I love meat and dairy. But it’s also important that we don’t eat too much meat, cause meat and dairy emits a lottt of greenhouse gases. Transportation of this food, producing it, and then wasting it is a no no for mother nature. 

LIMIT YOUR MEAT AND DAIRY INTAKE. I’m not saying become vegan and vegetarian. Like honey, keep eating meat and dairy! It can be good for you. But maybe have a plan like oh I’m only going to eat meat twice a week now instead of everyday of the week. Or try being more considerate of a healthier diet.

SUNSCREEN.

Now, there are some arguments of whether sunscreen is affecting our coral reefs or not. But it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Studies have shown that there are chemicals called titanium dioxide, oxybenzon, octinoxate, and others are harmful to humans and coral reefs. It bleaches the corals into this ugly gray color. Coral reefs are essential to ocean life, and it’s gonna suck if the ocean is dead. 

WHAT TO LOOK FOR. Try finding sunscreens that say “Reef safe” or “reef friendly” sunscreens. sunscreens such as Coppertone, equate, and sunbum are NOT safe. Mineral sunscreens ( i don’t tend to like them cause of the white cast) and banana boat are safe. You can research this more if you want! 

okay there are plenty of ways that you can do to help the environment, but these are some of the ideas. I hope this encourages you than overwhelm you. You don’t have to be perfectly zero waste or feel the need to do all of this. We’re never going to be perfect but we can be and do better. Share this please! Please consider doing at least 1 or 2 of these. Because YOU can make a HUGE difference to our world. 

[tiffgeorgina]

alright trailer thoughts

watch it here slutties: https://twitter.com/SHOBlackMonday/status/1216778009044291585

1) HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S HERE THIS FEELS SURREAL

2) HOLYYY SHITTTT

3) but actually let’s get it. this song bangs showtime stays on their excellent editing.

4) trying to analyze showtime’s trailers is like trying to grab smoke so this is going to be extremely barebones for a while. 

5) somebody drives off with the busted up limbo, but we can’t tell who it is yet bc their face never comes into view. they’re wearing a gray suit tho, so it may become more obvious who it is once the episode itself is out.

6) mo is being dramatic asf which as of 1x10 is perfectly in character lmfao

7) bro what the FUCK did you do to your hair i gotta ask fuck the 80s. also there’s this character on IMDb tagged “Vanessa (hair like mo)” so that makes more sense now maybe?

8) establishing shots that almost make me think mo is hiding out in california. since we know his orphanage story is bullshit, maybe he’s visiting family? maybe this is where that marcus wainright iii character comes in? since i dont think he’s in the trailer?

9) keith is living. almost has out-of-the-closet energy. i bet that scene of him roller skating is either after a) he comes out to his wife and divorces her or b) he gets a call from mo and flies straight out to cali to meet up with him.

10) the editing is so good you guys holy shit they jsut never quit over there do they?

11) a shot of mo in some suburb. could be a family member or a friend’s house? which again leads me to think he’s in california.

12) there’s this TV show called “America’s Most Unsolved Crimes” that mo shows up on bc he’s being solely blamed for the crash. how dawn and blair managed to avoid any blame whatsoever is beyond me, but mo is an excellent scapegoat since he confessed on record. no idea who the guy sitting on the desk talking about him is tho, since he wasn’t announced as one of the new guest stars. probably just a one off. maybe this is where “reenactment dawn” comes in from the IMDb page?

13) mo is bringing back the 70s and i do not like it. when i said the 80s were cool bc nobody knew how to dress themselves This Is Not What I Meant.

14) he wouldn’t just casually play basketball with some random kids, these are probably either his cousins or his nephews or the kids of a friend. again leads me to believe he’s in california, possibly visiting marcus? it would make sense. either that or we finally get some real concrete background on mo that isn’t total bullshit.

15) keith is in contact with mo. it’s hard to tell if keith went to cali to see mo or if mo came to NY seeing as both are extremely suspicious. assuming mo is in cali that is. keith is definitely going to get mo back in the game. speaking of mo, this entire first 30 seconds is Mo-centric, so i bet mo’s arc is going to be plottier than blair or dawn’s in 1“A” (showtime doesn’t really have A and B arcs for this show bc there’s no midseason hiatus i just like the terminology)

16) throwback thursday lmfao

17) no idea who this guy shooting/probably fake shooting is?? like no idea. could be nothing of importance and just a transition filler/tone setting moment.

18) the heat is on motherfucker! let’s get this cat and mouse shit im ready for it!

19) here we go here’s dawn. back at the jammer group. back at DAWN AS THE PRESIDENT HIRING A BUNCH OF WOMEN???????? BIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHH I LOVE TO SEE IT. INCLUDING DEANNA CHENG (she’s friends with casey which means she’s friends with half the cast we should’ve known she wasn’t going anywhere) AKA THE SALES CLERK WHO HARASSED DAWN IN 1X02????? YES BITHC

20) then wayne and yassir fucking it up (nice facial hair wayne it’s hideous kjsfkjdhg) and the women throwing paper at him??? LKJRHGKLJSERH????

21) blair and tiff dressed up??? guys. they’re going to some rich people gala thing. this is what i was talkinf about. im almost certain this is how blair and harris meet. their wives are gonna see each other after not having spoken in years bc of whatever but they used to be friends so they go to talk and the husbands and dragged along and *closet case to closet case communication sounds*

22) ok now BLAIR’S on the exercise craze? i thought that was just gonna be dawn like in s1 also how long is this exercise montage in the show bc there are some things a god fearing lesbian shouldn’t have to see. this weird mirror talking shit feels like voyeurism from this perspective i feel like i shouldn’t be seeing this.

23) she’s still topping him??? after all that??? aight yk it’s part of the dynamic

24) tiff is wearing the same dress in “you do, hunk” as she is in the bit where they get out of the limo and deal with the paparazzi so i presume that workout scene is immediately before that gala thing im establishing a #timeline

25) the skants reveal??? we call that PLOT DEVELOPMENT i love a good callback to the first season

26) the shocked gasp i can’t tell if it’s good or bad. also does this mean tiff’s starting her own company? since georgina is liquid?

27) larry telling dawn that mo’s on his way back for revenge? spliced with mo staring at the wall like he so frequently does while smoking? mayhaps this editing went off also i never thought i’d say this but the brotherfucker has a point mo is gonna pop off when he sees yall again

28) FBI wyd........ that’s a lot

29) that falling out last season bit: blair’s definitely talking about tiff’s parents, and im almost certain andrew flubbed right there and improvised over it by saying “autumn.” well im appreciative of that bc a) it’s funny and b) it indicates when this is going on a bit. it’s not like we’re two years in the future or anything. this is probably gonna start a couple of months after the crash and that’s it.

30) no idea who blair is talking to tho since i can’t see the woman’s face. could be one of tiff’s friends? idk. also nice hair tiff

31) that ball spinning around like a gumball in a machine? weird transition but aight. also immediately after, dawn is in the lehman office, again no idea why. probably the same scene as larry telling her that mo is plotting his revenge but idk why she’s there.

32) that shot of a plane coming into JFK? now im near certain that mo is in cali it would make so much sense please showtime just MAKE SENSE. 

33) confetti and mo’s entrance? you know what it’s what i should’ve expected tbh it’s all so delightfully in character EDIT: THE CONFETTI IS NOT BEFORE MO’S ENTRANCE. YOU CAN SEE DAWN’S CLOTHES CHANGE COLOR, IT WAS JUST AN EDITING TRICK.

34) mo’s just gonna pull up, zero fucks, in the middle of the day. much different than how i thought this scene would go, with a lot of betrayal and drama involved instead of this bitch just pulling up. now idek if dawn and mo are in contact before this, when before i was almost certain they would be.

35) what blair says here is definitely not the first thing he says when mo walks in, i can tell from the editing. also im near certain that blair doesn’t say “bro.” it sounds edited in/done in post (his voice pitches up a lot there when that’s usually a beat when your voice would fall), so i wouldn’t be surprised if blair curses a lot there and they just had to edit it to stay in the green band. 

36) ol polluted waterfall lookin ass jshgkjfdhg mo quit lying that hairstyle is not popular fuck off

37) im loving this tagging order tbh. paul scheer getting tagged in the trailer is just. what he deserves. do we consider keith a protagonist now? he’s in all the promo material by name and face now.

38) regina and andrew look so good god yes also the editing is so GOOD fuck

39) keith (hand holding emoji) blair

        getting hit by random vehicles

40) NO THE LIMBO FUCK SHIT THESE CARS WERE NOT MEANT TO LAST almost looks deliberate :eyes emoji:

41) what’s keith doing with this barbershop quartet wtf

42) almost certain that’s tiff singing? based on 1x09 this oughta be good lmao

43) THE HEEL CLICKING IS TAKING ME OUT HGKJDHFGKJFD. could this be mo and marcus? who knows?

44) look at all the cash wtf what’s all that cash for? ah shit here we go again

45) tiff entering another dimension followed by dawn doing what is certainly a mountain of coke? kind of poetic cinema ok

46) ok dawn’s wearing that green suit again from my icon so??? what does it mean what does it all mean

47) who is mo squaring up with tf? is this marcus? i can’t tell in this lighting maybe it’s fake shooting guy idk also where the fuck are they? some party? but not a rich ppl thing just a thing? idk

48) guys. we have it. the fucking airdate. i have been stanning since the first fucking episode almost a year ago today and finally we have an airdate. respect to the new stans but yall dont know what seven and a half months of network radio silence in regards to your current obsession feels like. @hatimbinaba msged me and said we had a date and the shot of adrenaline i felt was like nothing else. serotonin is currently stored in the black monday and now the serotonin is stored in the ME. Sunday, March 15, 2020, 10 pm motherfuckers. put that shit on the calendar. also looks like we have a slightly earlier timeslot which is nice.

49) and to top (ahah) it all off we have blair just straight up gay panicking at the end. that’s definitely tuc and june and if yall have been following yall would know that tuc is playing blair’s love interest and june is playing tuc’s wife so this is all very jghsrkjghs im rly excited for this scene. no way of knowing if this is before or after blair and harris get together but it’s still kshgkdjhgdkj. rich people golfing? more like rich people existing lmao. also where’s that onion video i need to find the onion video fuck this is just like the onion said would happen. i will post it and make memes later. 

50) then blair just gets hit??? by the golfcart?? and there’s this scream that is definitely not the scream of andrew, tuc or june so??? whose scream was that??? did they add that shit in post??? tf???? also tuc and june barely flinching is really decapitating me kjshkrjdg

51) there’s no way of knowing if tiff is also at the golf course, but if she isn’t? then it’s just blair and his canon love interest and canon love interest’s wife???? which is so funny “hey come play golf with me” “oh is anyone else coming?” “ya my wife” “you’re so stupid i have to question how you’re even still alive”

52) WHEEWWWW AND THAT’S IT YALL!!! BUT A COUPLE MORE THINGS. some distinct absences: no known shot of marcus (which is wack yall would think they would want to plug the hell out of dulé hill) and very few shots of harris and corky. why. promote your newcomers some more tf.

anyways that’s all on this long ass post. @ mutuals expect more freakouts xx love yall this is unedited just raw emotion

[lonely-canadian-shrimp-universe]

Good Omens:A First Foray

The First Impressions of a Viewer with No Context

I knew a good chunk of the plot because at first I honestly wasn't going to watch it, so I didn't really shield myself from any spoilers on tumblr.

That being said, I was hooked right from episode 1. I went into it thinking I was gonna be all over Crowley (given my other favourite characters in most other franchises) but the first time Aziraphale smiled I M E L T E D. SO PURE AND SWEET Also when "Aziraphale" was said I had a moment of 'oh. that's how you say that' Also the earth and my mom share a birthday. When Nanny Ashtoreth showed up I KNEW I was gonna need more content of her. Wife 100%

The fact that, try as they may, Zira and Crowley are completely incompetent and really only matter in the last like 16 minutes before the end of the world is really great. It's like watching a show that's about the really interesting side characters you get to see for 2 minutes and WISH you got 6 hrs of. Thank you, Neil.

Ep 2 we get to meet Newt and Anathema and omg I love them. I need Anathemas wardrobe ugh. And newt??? disaster Newton Pulsifer??? he's a mood. Not totally sure how I feel about their relationship but I love the contrast of "hey we just met like an hour ago and we're dating now thnks" to "we've known each other for 6000 years but there's no way he likes me the same way? side note, isn't it funny how the world is always emitting a low buzz of love my dear?" "ngk"

Agnes is amazing and I love how sassy she is. 10/10. I love how Aziraphale is not at ALL concerned about being shoved against a wall by Crowley. Like not one bit. He's like "oh finally, it's only taken you 6 millenia" honestly same

Ep 3 gives us the 30 minute cold open who's only purpose is to show how these two kept coming back to each other for 6 millenia, no matter how the last meeting may have gone. Here are a few thoughts:

Crowley has very pretty hair. Also I could 100% see by this point how these two have been gay for each other since day 1. Er rather day 7? Golgotha Crowley is v pretty and learning later that those are traditionally female garments was a treat. That scene was otherwise hard to watch, and they definitely thought so as well. The globe theatre was really fun to watch, I love Shakespeare. Sadly, Hamlet reminds me of my awful 10th grade English teacher. she ADORES that play. So thanks,  Aziraphale.

Bastille= PEAK GAY LOOK

I'd seen the church scene and "you go too fast for for me in MANY a gift,  but hearing them was OOF. Michael Sheen didn't have to go so hard on that line but OH BOY DID HE EVER. I may have cried.

I honestly didn't realize that the intro didn't play until the middle of the episode until I rewatched it??  like that completely flew over my head.

THE BANDSTAND. THE E M O T I O N. AZIRAPHALE WAS SO HURT. he was so torn because so much of him still wanted to believe in the good of heaven, but his heart (or the angelic equivalent) had long ago sided with Crowley. When Crowley came back and asked him to run away to Alpha Centuri??? UGH. that dude instantly assuming they're gay? same. same random dude. same. And omg Crowley praying??? to God??? he cares about humanity and it SHOWS. By this point I was REALLY relating to Aziraphale. His reluctance to stray from what he knows and was told reminds me so much of myself. that A n x i e t y.

the end of episode 4 and into episode 5 HURT. the bookshop? "I lost my best friend"? The fact that Crowley was ready to give up and wallow drunkenly through the Apocalypse because continuing on or running away held no meaning if he didn't have Aziraphale by his side. I cried. On the other hand, defiant Aziraphale? "Angels can't posses people" "Demons can..." YES BBY STOP BLINDLY FOLLOWING ORDERS!!! FREE THOUGHT BABEY!!! Now: Shadwell and Tracy. Shadwell is hilarious and I love him, end of story. He's just so... out there. crazy dude. Madame Tracy on the other hand? AMAZING. her actress (I can't think of her name and I have a REALLY ONE TRACK MIND) absolutely KILLED it. AMAZING. The seance?  That dude who WAS JUST LOVING EVERY SECOND? Loved that so much. still cracks me up. When they first get to the airbase and Crowley compliments his dress and Aziraphales like OwO like fellas they gay.

1970s crowley... the mustache... "Can I hear a Wahoo?" Hastur... love him... "What's a computer" part of me wants to think he's just fucking with Crowley because who wouldn't but also he's so deadpan and yo I can't read expression AT ALL.

Love the fact that Crowley was ready to yeet off to a far off star system light-years away, but at the same times like "you expect me... to go to TADFIELD? In this weather??? Maybe I should drive but I mean, have you SEEN the TRAFFIC Angel? And now the M-25s on fire. Great."

Hastur going from on top of everything and tearing Crowley down to panicking because YOU'RE DRIVING TOWARDS A WALL OF FIRE.

snek eyes :3c

"Young man your CAR is on F I R E"

ALSO the horse people getting lost is peak entertainment. Honestly the horsepeople are great. War? Gorgeous. Famine? Love him. He's got style Pollution??? They're amazing, and also THEY THEM PRONOUNS BABEY. that made me v happy bc I just got used to usin em myself uwu. D E A T H. He knows his aesthetic yall. love it.

suppose nows a good a time as any: THE THEM.

I didn't really like Adam at first, he seemed a bit snobby. he's grown on me now but... ngk. Wenslydale was an instant fave. he's adorable. love him. Brian? total mess. super genuine. Great kid. PEPPER. she's great. she's sassy. she's gonna go far in life. all together, they're a tight knit group and I love them and they're all my children now thabks. and the parallels to the horsepeople? p e r f e c t

Alrighty Episode 6!!!

The beginning terrified me. All this time I was rooting for Zira and Crowley to finally get their happily ever after and yknow how most media is nowadays. There's a reason Fix-it Fics are so popular. So the beginning of the episode scared me. Also Beelzebub 💖

I love the Them vs The Horsepeople. "I believe in Peace, bitch."

I didn't even realize til later that that was Aziraphales sword. didn't even catch that line.

When Beez and Gabriel showed up? THAT DUMB SMILE OF GABES? I really hated Gabriel. The way he treated Aziraphale REALLY rubbed me the wrong way and I just did not like him one bit.

W I N G S. PRETTY WINGS. also didn't even realize that what Crowley did was STOP TIME. LIKE WHSOHDOEBE WHaT? ??

 "it burned down... remember?" uuggghhh kill me with how soft and gentle he's being!!! he knows that bookshop MEANT something to Zira hdoehekdn

T H E B O D Y  S W A P

the caught me COMPLETELY off guard... at first. I was completely unaware right up until "crowley" was attacked. I caught that little "Tickety boo" and I paused screaming like CROWLEY WOULD NOT SAY THAT IN THAT SCENARIO NO WAY THAT IS N O T ANTHONY J CROWLEY W H A T 

The heaven scene solidified my then hatred for Gabriel. I like him now but oof that scene he's still VERY punchable.

Crowley: Nearly threw hands with the Archangel Gabriel

The Hell trial. So Extra. Asking for a rubber duck? iconic! "Michael, dude!" oh mood.

when they switch back and it's all revealed? G l o r i o u s. They played each other so well!!! honestly props to Michael and David, their acting was PHENOMENAL.

The ending. A happy ending. The amount of love with which Zira says "to the world" killed me. I'm dead now thanks to that. I'm typing this from the grave,  that's how powerful that line is. Honestly, knowing next to nothing going in was kind of wild and my crazy reblogging spree actually got some of my mutuals to watch the show which is pretty neat. Going back through 3 more times now, Aziraphale definitely resonates with me the most. I actually have a small blurb I wrote on the positive effects he's had on my perception of myself in terms of stimming.

All in All this show hit me in a way I did NOT expect it to, and I'm glad I found it when I did. I was at a point where I was kinda feeling like I'd never really have a fulfilling relationship because of my asexuality, and then I found good omens. I def read the characters as ace while watching it and it was amazing seeing two characters who can love each other fully, without the need for anything explicit. The show was an instant fav and I'm trying to find a physical copy of the book (that I can afford) so I can read the original text. This is a story that's going to stay important to me for a very long time, I can feel it.

[kirukirice]

Among the Crows: Chapter 45 -  The Kara Who Loved A Human

Are you ready for the angst yall? Cause I sure am. Broke my chapter word count with this one ^^; 

Here marks the end of the UkaTake arc. I had a lot of fun writing it, and they really grew on me as much as Daisuga did. Thanks for bearing with me! :’))

The morning after, Takeda made a speech at breakfast.

“It’s about time for me to leave.”

Those were the words the Ukais knew would come one day from Takeda’s mouth, but they never expected it to be so soon.

“I truly appreciate everything you’ve given me this past year or so. I will never be able to thank you all enough.”

Keishin looked visibly shaken as his eyes slowly widened in disbelief, but Takeda was immensely calm and gracious as he spoke.

“I’ve made arrangements to live with our neighbours for a while more before I leave the village. They have so kindly allowed me to continue my research with them as I move on to studying the next stage of the Kara life cycle.”

It was if yesterday didn’t happen at all.

“Tomorrow morning, I’ll pack up all my belongings.”

Once the two were alone, Ukai grabbed Takeda by the hand and led him out back.

“This is the first time I’m hearing this,“ he said, absolutely fuming.

"Of course. It’s the first time I’m talking about this.” Takeda replied coolly.

“What the fuck? Sensei, are you being serious right now?”

“I am.”

“Then what was yesterday?”

Takeda smiled, apathetic. “Research.”

Ukai grasped him roughly by the collar and glared straight into his cold, bespectacled eyes. Takeda didn’t even flinch.

“You’d better tell me this is a sick joke right now,” he seethed. His head began to hurt.

“I learned a lot from you from my time here. None of this would have been possible without you, so, thank you.”

Ukai stayed his trembling fists.

“‘Thank you?’” he whispered, utterly baffled by everything this man was spouting. It was like he didn’t know him at all. “'Thank you?!’ I can’t fucking believe this. I’m not your bloody guinea pig.”

“I believe I made it very clear the moment I met you. I’m here to study Karas.”

“So you screw all your test subjects, then?”

Takeda’s mouth opened and paused, before emitting a light-hearted chuckle.

“Did you really think I liked you?”

The boy stared speechlessly at him. He felt like his world had lurched itself sideways and was about to drop off the edge of a cliff. And the one who had put it there was the one who had raised it in the first place.

Takeda’s patronizing look was too much to bear.

“Ukai, you should know by now that all I care about is my research. And now, I know everything I need to know about you. Your thoughts, your habits, your family, even your body. I don’t need you anymore.”

Ukai swung.

His whitened knuckles stopped a hair’s breadth away from the man’s cheek.

Breathing hard, his jaw ached as hot blood rushed through his tensed up muscles. He clenched and unclenched his eyes, and when he opened them again and saw Takeda’s face, he felt nothing but hatred in that instant.  

“Don’t fuck with me.” he yelled. “Everything we’ve done until now, everything you’ve been–”

“It was only to get the information I needed. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.” Takeda said solemnly.

“So this is the real you?”

He didn’t respond, and glanced away.

Ukai grit his teeth and his feathers ruffled. He couldn’t accept it. He didn’t want to. And yet, it seemed like the only tangible thing of Takeda right now was the cloth that he gripped tightly in his hand. How did everything go so wrong, so quickly?

“You must be a damn good actor, then. I should have left you under the snow like they told me.” he muttered bitterly. Shoving his collar away, he turned his back on Takeda and spread his wings.

“Fuck off. And don’t ever come back.”

Takeda left without a trace the next morning. He took all his possessions away - all the books, papers, and ink - along with the last shreds of the Kara’s feelings for him.

It was all just empty now. Empty, with nothing more and nothing less. Not hatred, nor sorrow. It was a cruel blessing that Takeda had left nothing behind, for Ukai couldn’t bring himself to think about him. He blocked out everything that reminded him of the man, even the fundamental feeling of joy, and his polluted thoughts never received closure.

Alas, life had to go on.

As the household returned to normalcy without a human in their midst, so did Ukai’s heart begin to mend, piece by shattered piece. Those around him could tell that the fissure had certainly cut deep, for his eyes had lost some of its rambunctious vigour. Even his harsh frown had mellowed with an abstruse sadness, and it seemed like the old Ukai had gone with time. At the very least, along the way he had regained a little more faith in the Karas and a smidgen of maturity, if anything were to be celebrated at all.

As much as Fate was known to be a cruel master and a benevolent god, what was often forgotten was the way it delighted in creating twisted concoctions with the two. What mattered was how high the peaks rose and how low the valleys dipped.

And so on one fateful evening, when the Ukais had not heard a single word about nor glimpsed the human for weeks on end, a frantic messenger came pounding at their door. Keishin answered the door then, and when he opened it, the terrified face of the old lady next door greeted him.  

“Oh, my darling boy, where are your parents?” she panted and sighed meekly, her old bones unable to keep up with her haste.

“They’re inside. What’s wrong?” he asked.

“He’s– oh, dear me—come quickly, he’s dying!”

“The old man?” He prepared to dash back inside the house, but she held onto his arm.

“No, the young human!”

Ah, nothing in this world made sense.

At that very moment in time, he should have told her to go back, and closed the door. He should have cared zero times out of ten. He should have forgotten about how much Sensei meant to him.

But he didn’t do any of those things, for an intelligent mind is an irrational one.

Ukai bolted out the door and headed straight for the old couple’s house. He arrived in half the time it took to get there, and the elderly man who had been waiting anxiously by the door ushered him into the room quickly with an exclamation of dismay.

Once Ukai entered the dimly lit scene, the air stood still. The old man shook the boy’s stiffened arm and urged him to move, but all Ukai heard was a muffled cry. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the man who had collapsed onto the floor, and the mess of ink and paper that had cascaded along with his fall. Takeda’s blood-stained shirt, hands, and mouth told Ukai enough of the story; he just hoped that he would be alive to tell him the rest of it.

Picking Takeda up in his arms, Ukai returned to the clinic and kicked open the doors.

The next time Takeda woke up, he found himself surrounded by a familiar smell. He was back on Ukai’s bed again, and he couldn’t fathom why; but knowing the reason was not important right now. Despite feeling like his lungs were about to collapse on him at any moment – no, precisely because they were – he had to leave. As he gathered his strength to get up, he clutched his chest tightly and took slow, careful breaths.

He pushed away the thick blankets and took one step out of the bed. But then, he heard Akkuro screech sharply above him, and he flinched. Footsteps began to approach. Shortly after, Ukai walked into the room with a stern look on his face.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Ukai murmured.

Takeda said nothing and walked past him, but Ukai caught him by the shoulder.

“I’m leaving.” The man uttered softly. It seemed like that was the loudest he could muster.

“The old lady busted her ass to get here and tell us you almost died. What the hell happened?” Ukai pressed. Takeda coughed and winced, as if bracing himself for something. Covering his mouth, he shook his head and said, “I have to go.”

Although his stubbornness had once moved Ukai, it wouldn’t be the same this time.

“You’re not leaving till I get an answer. The old gramps said you were coughing up blood. Often. How long has it been?”

The man looked down. How did the old man know? “It’s none of your business.”

“It became my business the moment I had to pick your ass up and save you. Tell me.”

Then, Takeda began coughing, and he hunched over from the pain. Ukai frowned, and he guided the man to sit on the bed. When he stopped and could breathe normally again, Ukai took his palm. The boy saw the red stains and grimaced.

He knew now. The one being protected was him.

Ukai hugged Takeda and closed his eyes. He had truly missed this.

“Sensei, you’re a bad liar. But you almost fooled me there.”

Takeda’s eyes watered.

“Ukai…”

“Is this why you wanted to leave?”

He broke away from his embrace and Ukai’s arms hovered sadly at his sides. “Enough. We’re through.”

“We were. I can’t leave you like this.”

“Just forget about me. This was all a mistake—that day, was a mistake.” He uttered as his tears fell. “I shouldn’t have—“

Ukai shut his lips with a kiss.

It felt like falling in love all over again.

The first kiss led to a hesitant second, then quickly a third, and slowly a fourth. Ukai held Takeda’s hand and slipped his tongue through the man’s parched lips, then sealed them with a long, deep, and intimate kiss. They broke apart and panted for air, and Ukai’s brooding eyes filled with tears as he gazed longingly at Takeda.

“Are you leaving me again?” he asked, and the droplets trickled down his cheek as he blinked. Each one bore a deep hole into Takeda’s aching heart, and he squeezed the Kara’s hand tightly.

“I’m sorry, Ukai. I’ve dragged you into this mess, and I didn’t mean for us to turn out this way. But I won’t lie to you anymore.” Takeda said. He never wanted things to turn out this way, but he knew from the very beginning that it wouldn’t work out.

“I don’t have much longer to live.”

The boy’s eyes widened. “What? Why?”

“My family carries an incurable disease. My father died from it, and so did his mother before him. The symptoms always appear once the person reaches adulthood, and no one survives in the year it starts.”

Ukai’s heart sank.

“The first signs are when common illnesses become more frequent.”

That happened.

“Then, haemorrhaging of the lungs.”

That happened, too.

“Finally…” Takeda took a breath, “The lungs will fail altogether, and I will either die from blood loss or asphyxiation, whichever comes first.”  

Takeda dipped his head.

Ukai held him close. He was still here.

“I don’t know when it’ll happen. I thought it did, just now,“ he admitted. Ukai shook his head as he forced his brain to think. “There must be a way.”

“We’ve been travelling for generations to find a cure. There hasn’t been a single lead for almost a century.” Takeda lamented.

“No. I won’t let you die.” Ukai cried.

“Ukai…”

“There’s nothing out there that can’t be cured. Maybe you’ve just been looking in the wrong places.”

“Ukai, it’s been so long,” Takeda sighed softly, “When my mother told me why my father died, she also told me to go and live my life like every day was going to be my last. She didn’t want me to have the same regrets my father did. So I left home to devote my life to pursuing the only thing I loved more than her. It’s better this way, that I end a bloodline of suffering.”

Still the boy refused to give up as Takeda had done years ago.

“Maybe the humans don’t have the knowledge. But the Karas–” he perked up and became filled with agitation– “The Karas know things that humans don’t. Grandpa knows a lot of other doctors out there. Surely one of them will know what to do.”

Once they broke the news to the rest of the family, Grandpa Ukai immediately unfurled a dusty old map and charted the path that he and his grandson would take. They would visit the greatest doctors among the Kara settlements across and return within a month, hopefully with an answer by then. Takeda tried to persuade them not to go, but the old man would not give up on him either.

He gave the man a big hug and said, “Sensei, if this is where your journey ends, then I must say this now. You are an amazing person who has brought many gifts to us and this world. It has been a great honour working with you, Kara or not.”

“Sir…” Takeda held back his tears.

“Which is why I must not let your efforts be in vain.”

Ukai hugged Sensei one last time.

Wait for me, he said, and it took everything within Takeda to nod.

And with their final goodbyes, the two Karas left on swift wings.

They reached their first destination without incident, a small town hidden within a deep valley. The medicine master readily heard their pleas, but the moment the word ‘human’ appeared in their conversation, she shied away and declared that she would be of no help. Whether it was a matter of pure skill or outright rejection, the muddy waters soon cleared to reveal the shuddering depths below as they continued on their quest.

Time and again, the other doctors turned Ukai and his grandfather down, even if they had known the old man for most of his life, and even if Keishin begged them for their help. They would put on a face of apprehension or even ridicule, and then kindly remind him of his position.

‘Ukai, haven’t you heard from the Capital? Maybe your village is too far away after all.’

Grandpa Ukai would become increasingly frustrated with each passing Kara. ‘I know the Capital’s stand, but I have my reasons.’

‘You know what they’ll do.’

‘If you won’t deign to help me, then so be it.’

The flame of hope looked so far away in the darkness that the two Ukais began to wonder if it had been only a figment of their imagination from the very beginning. Had things always been this way? Had they, too, been such hostile parties to outsiders before Takeda? Slowly, Keishin descended back down the path whence he had begun to turn away from, and his disgust for his kind resurfaced.

When they reached the end of their route with nobody and nothing to bring home, Grandpa Ukai solemnly addressed Keishin with a grave heart.

"We’ve tried our best, Keishin. Let’s go home.”

“They’re all useless.” The boy spat, trembling with rage and despair.

“They have their reasons, too. All we can do now is try whatever we can for him.”

But back at home, the news that awaited them was the last thing they wanted to hear.

“The Capital came to look for him days after you two had left. Thankfully, he hid next door and they didn’t find him.” Ma said, saddened.

“Then where is he?” Ukai demanded, his heart pounding out of his chest.

“He left behind all his things and vanished the next day. Akkuro brought him out without us knowing and we tried to find him - believe me, we did–!”

Ukai didn’t want to hear any of it.

“But even Akkuro didn’t know, because he rode off on a rhea afterwards into the forest. Oh, why, Sensei…” she mourned and wrung her wrists.  

Why?

Yes, Why?

“Why…” Ukai hissed, a hopeless anger overcoming him. “Why didn’t you keep an eye on him?”

“Keishin… I’m sorry.” Ma began, but the boy kicked over a chair and heaved, “All of you… even fucking Akkuro!”

“Keishin. It’s not her fault.” Grandpa Ukai said, and moved to hold his shoulder, but he brushed it off roughly with his wing. He took deep, shaky breaths and clenched his fists.

“Then whose fault is it? What the hell are we supposed to do now? He could be dead already!”

The family fell silent.

Ukai charged into his room and grabbed Akkuro off his perch, and the poor hawk screeched as it tried to escape.

“Keishin! Don’t bring this out on Akkuro!” Grandpa Ukai reprimanded harshly and pulled the boy away, who shouted as he flapped his wings and struggled to break free from the old man’s grasp.

“Where is he?! Where did you bring him?”

Akkuro calmed his frazzled feathers and flew onto the windowsill, frightened at the boy’s aggression.

“Don’t you dare fly off! Tell me now, you fucking traitor!”

“Keishin! Calm down!”

The hawk chirped twice and fled the scene.

“How the fuck do I calm down?! He’s gone! He’s fucking gone. Sensei is… gone… ” Ukai panted and broke down into tears, weary and desolate of heart. He didn’t know what to do anymore. He felt so helpless, so alone, and so lost.

Why didn’t you wait for me?

Did you have no faith in me?

Was I not good enough for you?

That was the final swing of the hammer on his shattered psyche.

He couldn’t trust anyone. Not his family, not his friends.

Not even Sensei.

Ukai eventually left the nest with Sensei’s precious belongings in tow. Fifteen books tied up neatly in order, three quills, two ink pots, one eyeglass cloth, one ink-stained blotting cloth, a ream of scattered papers, a spool of binding thread with a needle, a pair of silver scissors, and a small set of precision instruments. It seemed like that was all. All that he had to remember him by. He kept them all shut away inside a bag and slung the heavy load over his shoulders.

Before the boy disappeared, Akkuro greeted him with a final nuzzle and Sensei’s parting words.

I’m sorry. I hope you find peace from my words.

The only way he knew how to find peace, however, was to see the man himself. Ukai flew from town to town, not caring if he was in Kara or human territory, and looked. He looked and looked for any trace of Sensei at all. Sometimes he’d swear he saw a fleeting shadow or a book that looked just like one of his. Other times he thought he heard his voice in the back of his head, or felt his haunting presence disturb his dreams.

But when the destined year had passed and Ukai found himself as lost as he was when he started, he sat down and held his head.

Where did it all go wrong?

He was in a foreign land where he had neither kin nor kith - he had pushed them all out of his life - and he had nothing left to his name but Takeda’s belongings and the clothes on his back.  

Takeda’s belongings.

He then remembered Sensei’s words.

Slowly, he unravelled the bag with his calloused hands, the knot untouched since the day he left; one could almost see the smudged fingerprints left behind by their true master. As he untied the fraying string that bound the stacks of tomes together, he felt a tide of raw nostalgia wash gently over him. It was unpleasant. He wanted to leaf through them again and relive the memories of looking over Takeda’s shoulder, yet he didn’t want to experience the pang of loss  at the same time.

But Sensei had never said anything without meaning.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the first book titled ‘Kara Biology and Epidemiology’.

It was filed with scientific rubbish. What a surprise.

Flipping carefully through the fragile pages, he trailed his eyes over the scrawls and strokes, and remembered the way Sensei looked when he was absurdly engrossed in his writing. Those furrowed brows and black-rimmed spectacles resting on the edge of his nose.

Ukai took the next book titled ‘Kara Culture, Food, and Habitats’ and flipped through that, too. More nonsense he could understand a little better.

And so was the next book, and the next, and the next– until he came upon four books that had no labels and were tied up tightly with strings of their own. He pondered their meaning as he cut them loose with the scissors, but the moment he saw their contents, he knew exactly why.

These were meant only for his eyes.

Countless drawings of Ukai Keishin, the Kara, etched themselves into the pages, some of graphite and some of ink.

Eyes, faces, hands, wings, bodies, smiles, frowns, and laughter– they had them all. Each sketch had been drawn so carefully that one could almost see the time trapped within them. As the drawings progressed they grew more elaborate and true-to-life, but none of them were really finished. Ukai kept flipping through each book, and he saw more and more of himself till he felt like putting everything away again.

But he persevered to the final book, and on the very last filled page was the only drawing that could be considered complete. It was a portrait of himself gazing faraway into the distance, with every eyelash, strand of hair, and scar painstakingly detailed.

Ukai stared at the picture for a long time.

When he came to his senses, the first thought he had was, ‘I’m not that pretty’. He had seen himself in the mirror lately, and it was a haggard mess. The next was that he realized how much Takeda had thought about him, even when they had been apart.

And then, he flipped to the next page and saw a few lines of text.

As he read them in Sensei’s gentle voice, the tears fell.

—–

To my dear Ukai,

I’m sorry that things had to end this way. I wanted to leave quietly without ever hurting you, but fate had other plans for me. I was blessed to have met you, and you’ve made all my dreams come true.

Now that I know how much it hurts to say goodbye, please forget me.

I love you.

—–

Ukai wept and clutched the book dearly to his chest.

“… Sensei, you idiot…”

For how could he forget the only person he had ever truly cherished?

Thus ended the tale of the Kara who loved a human, and the human who loved a Kara.