#life of the party I don’t know about that but everything else is accurate

[pretentiouswreckingball]

🍓🍉🍎 fruit(y) quizzz 🍑🍒🍊

thank you for the tag @faggylittleleatherboy and the tag in spirit of @persimminos (look babes we have the same one!!)

fruit quizzzz

no pressure tags: @fruityindividual @static-radio-ao3 @nevvaraven @anouri @blossoms-and-possums @frank-lilac @bellaxisworld @poetskings @otrtbs @boydykepdf and OPEN TAGGG (if you do it tag me so I can see!)

[cocoreallylovesraiden]

Hi hi hi! Loved ur mk1 sick!reader headcanons, they so silly so cute!

May I request headcanons for hypersomniac!reader? Like they're always tired and sleepy. I mainly wanna see Shang Tsung and Kenshi <3 so feel free to include anyone else you'd like, male or female 🥰

MK1 characters and hypersomniac! reader

(shang tsung, kenshi, kung lao + extra lin kuei trio)

this request was from MARCH um hey... hi... sorry... but im back....requests are open....

Shang Tsung

-He seems like the extremely productive type, so I can’t say I think he’d appreciate someone who is on the more tired side. 

-Will be a gigantic diva whenever you mention it, talking about how ‘he’s been up for thirty hours and hasn’t so much as made a pip!’ 

-Would make all sorts of alarming potions and elixirs to prevent you from feeling drowsy- for the most part they don’t work because he doesn't really know how to make things without lethal side effects (and does not want you to DIE)

-He makes a big deal that he’s going to dissect you or experiment on you if you fall asleep as a scare tactic, and you’ll jolt awake from a sweaty nap terrified that you don’t have all your limbs

-(You are just in the corner of his work space, bundled in pelts and left untouched) (This is overkill on the pelts you are melting here.)

-He turns around and looks at you like WHAT! WHAT DO YOU WANT! NO I DIDN’T EXPERIMENT ON YOU ARE YOU STUPID!! But it is ultimately well meaning… you think?

-In all honesty I think Shang Tsung is the kind to get irritated by constant noise, especially when he’s trying to focus, so if you’re more mellow because of it, he would personally appreciate it. 

-He will exclusively refer to you as sleepyhead or ‘you sleeping lug’ thought i hope you're ok with that

-Will flick your nose if he sees you nodding off

Kenshi

-I feel like he’d be an insomniac, losing sleep because of everything he’s gone through

-Depending on his mood he’d either be irritated or soothed by your hypersomniac tendencies 

-Though because he's an earthrealmer (read: someone with a phone and google) he’d be able to do his own research and realize that it’s something that can impact you too 

-Just like how nights are hard for him, daytime can be a struggle for you as well, and as much as he can rationalize this his head he does metaphorically roll his (late) eyes when he sees you nodding off.

-He feels very chivalrous when you fall asleep against his shoulder so it does get  you good brownie points there

-If someone noisier came in he’d do the super suave cool guy thing where he just puts a finger to his lips and then points at you (would feel very cool afterwards)

-In the event that yall go grocery shopping he will be at the pharmacist counter the entire time asking about vitamins supplements remedies etc and in the end you’ll have a bedside table full of pill bottles that make you feel geriatric 

-Will use you feeling tired as an excuse to leave any social function and will be so happy (you were not fine he was just extremely overwhelmed) ((he hates house parties the floor plan is unfamiliar))

-He’s lived a stressful life and is thankful to take it slower with you

-Until you’ve fallen asleep halfway through a movie and he needs you to describe a scene GET UP I NEED TO KNOW WHAT SWORD THE GUY IS USING IS IT ACCURATE

Kung Lao 

-Takes it upon himself to jumpscare you the moment he sees you dozing off

-He just finds it hilarious, and you DID say you wanted to feel less tired throughout the day!

-Unfortunately he’d be the least gracious about it if you were sensitive about your hypersomnia (even against shang god bless you) but would also never take it to heart

-Maybe the first or second time you fell asleep around him, he’d worry that you found him boring, but once you explain it to him he Does Not Mind at all

-I mean it's The Great Kung Lao how can you NOT feel lulled to sleep safe and sound (completely rhetorical question)

-In all honestly I think your condition might start to change the most you spend around him, either you’d become totally immune to him and therefore ALL noise intervention, or start being more awake

-Would start stacking mahjong tiles on your head, tying your shoelaces together, seeing how much he could do before you woke up

-This means that if you caught him dozing off you have full permission to take his hat and run off to hide it somewhere

-Start the timer, GO! Let’s see how long it takes for him to find it this time! (It’s lodged into the ceiling) ((he will take an hour to find it))

Kuai Liang

-If you are under him in the Shirai Ryu or Lin Kuei, i imagine he would be tough on you like a mentor 

-But if not? He would find you incredibly endearing, always making sure that the places you frequently met in the compound had nearby shade or comfortable seating 

-Encourages you to rest if you are tired, if you want to stop falling asleep, he’ll offer tea

Tomas Vrbada

-Gets scared by you while walking past you since you’re so quiet

-You scared the ninja! Good on you 

-Yells, jolts you awake, then apologizes profusely and then promptly asks if you are interested in becoming a ninja under his tutelage 

Bi Han 

-As long as you stay out of his line of schedule you’re fine

-I too would be pissed if I worked the whole day only to see a sleepy lil guy 

-Yawns whenever you yawn and then yells at you for making him yawn 

[lyricswrittenbythesecretdreamer]

Haunted

“You remind me of a man I used to know.”  

I was watching the embers in the fire die, and the thought just came, out loud. The Ghoul chewed an unknown meat off the stick he’d skewered it on, not looking up to dignify my statement with even so much as a grunt. Maybe not then, I thought sadly. Maybe all the men like Cooper had died when the bombs dropped. I certainly hadn’t met a man like him since we’d said goodbye to each other at that party. Still, I continued.  

“He was a lot friendlier than you – though I suppose actors are predisposed to high levels of charisma.” I smiled to myself from behind the handkerchief covering my face, thinking of how simple the past now seemed in comparison to the present.  

“Actor?” It was first word I’d heard him speak since he told me to put out the fire that had cooked our dinner and it brought me from my daydream of my old life.  

“Yeah, actor. One of the good ones, most of the time anyway.” I chuckled to myself, remembering the tantrums he used to have on set if something wasn’t entirely accurate.  

“How would you have known an actor?”  

“Well, if you must know, I was-”   

I was cut off by a knife flying past my face and narrowly missing my eye, and then there was a body on top of mine, all flailing limbs and trying to stab me, grabbing a hold of my neck and head to hold me down. I grabbed the pocket knife hidden in my coat and wounded my attacker, before rolling the both of us over and pushing his face into the dying ashes. Their screams echoed out against the darkness of the wasteland, and I heard several gunshots. I took my pistol from my belt and shot whoever had tried to jump me in the back of his skull, letting him fall limply beside me.  

I look up through the dying light to see the Ghoul surveying our surroundings, before looking down at me and I realised with horror I didn’t have the handkerchief covering my face anymore.  

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Rosie Ryder,” he let out an audible laugh, “What are you doin’ out in the Wasteland?”  

My face went bright red, and I huffed.  

“Even after the apocalypse, people still just know me as the girl who played the hooker that got her titties out for Cooper Howard,” I rolled my eyes and sighed, “I’ve done other movies, you know.”  

“Yeah, you were great in Under the Covers,” he chuckled again, “although for you that film must have mostly been about shooting all that kissin’ you did to the poor bloke. I bet his lips were chapped at the end of every day!”  

“You a fan of Cooper Howard?” I asked, looking him up and down, “this get-up of yours seems pretty inspired by his work.”  

“You could say that, Little Miss Ryder.”  

I laughed bitterly and gestured down at the three bodies around us.  

“We should probably find somewhere else to sleep tonight, in case anyone heard the gunshots.”  

I checked the pockets of the bodies but couldn’t find anything other than a couple of caps and a gun with some ammo still left in it.  

“No chems?” he asked, and I shook my head.  

“No chems.”  

*** 

As we continued in our direction, the Ghoul became more talkative.  

“So, if you were Little Miss Rosie Ryder, you must be at least two hundred and something years old,” he began, “So how are you here right now?” 

I shrugged.  

“It’s a long, long story. We don’t got that much time, Ghoulie.”  

Eventually we came across a shabby-looking shack that looked just about safe enough for the night and might potentially keep us safe from any radstorm that might decide to descend onto us. And maybe from any raiders, too.  

The Ghoul went in first, checking the inside whilst I set a bear trap up in front of the door, before following him inside. It seemed as if someone might have been living here for a bit – there was a sofa and a little table, as well as a small counter with what looked like to be a broken-down hob. No signs of life anymore, though. Everything had a thick layer of dust coating it, and any essentials seem to have been hastily removed when the last occupier had left. 

“The walls seem pretty sturdy and the roof’s secure,” he said, “did you put a bear trap outside the door?”  

“Yeah, don’t wanna take the risk we did earlier.” I sighed. “Still, can’t help but think we’re still sitting ducks if someone breaks in. We’re not exactly in the safest area – I know at least two Raider groups who have bases nearby.” 

“They’ll break in and come face to face with my pistol aimed at their skulls, sweetheart.”  

“Oh, I’m ‘sweetheart’ now, am I? Now that you know what I look like under all these clothes?”  

The Ghoul stepped closer to me, the shadow of his hat towering over me.  

“Maybe I jus’ appreciate those actin’ skills of yours,” he murmured, “on top of that fine figure.” He stepped back from me and sat down on the sofa, slouching.  

“I’ll take first watch, Little Miss Rosie. I’ll wake you in a few hours and when the light comes, we’ll continue, and you can tell me that long, long story of yours.”  

*** 

Susie Wellington was coiffuring my hair for my first scene, as I sat tugging on my cotton skirt trying to psyche myself up for the scene ahead. We’d rehearsed it a bunch of times in table reads but this was the real thing – closed set and all.  

“Susie, I think the leading lady’s hair’s done up enough for now,” came a voice from the corner, “and you should be making your way back to the dressing rooms. I’m sure Little Miss Rosie Ryder here doesn’t want another cast member staring at her tits.”  

I looked up in relief as Cooper appeared beside us, cigarette in hand. Susie didn’t look to happy about having to leave her creation as it was, but only pursed her lips and bid me goodbye.  

“You excited for your first scene, Little Miss Rosie?” he asked, and I felt a strange sense of deja vu come over me at his words. I ignored it and put a shaky smile on my face.  

“I’m excited to get the nudity outta the way, that’s all I’m gonna say!” I giggled a bit, and he laughed alongside me.  

“Well, there’ll be a barrier in place of everythin’ and that dress of yours ain’t comin’ off completely. Gotta keep them perverts on their toes.” He winked at me, and I tried to keep the smile on my face, but under it all, I felt as if this was very dangerous.  

As he kissed me softly in front of the cameras and rolled his eyes playfully as the director asked him to push my dress up to show more of my skin, I felt something lurking in the shadows. Once this was shot, there was no going back and for some reason, I felt completely doomed.  

*** 

I woke up with a start, flinging my body forward. From the sofa, the Ghoul shushed me, holding a gloved finger over my mouth.  

I could hear something outside, and I assumed that was what woke me up. It was a strange sound, of someone dragging their feet through the dirt and the mud. We sat there in silence for a full half an hour, until the dragging sound moved away from the hut and back out into the darkness.  

“You mind takin’ the next watch, Sweetheart?” he said, “I need to get a couple hours kip in before we set off tomorrow.”  

“Sure,” I say tentatively, pulling out my pistol. “I’m glad you finally trust me.”  

“Well, I’m a huge fan.” He laid heavy emphasis on the ‘huge’, winking at me through the dusk light. I rolled my eyes, but inside I felt a little proud for some stupid goddamn reason.  

Back when I started acting, I didn’t think I’d have any living fans – never mind a half-dead irradiated man from 200 years in the future. Is he half-dead? It’d never been explained to me at the brothel – I’d just done my service and taken the RadAway. None of the others had ever stuck around to tell me their life story.  

We switched places, I sat myself down on the sofa and the Ghoul lay down on the bedroll on the floor.  

“Damn, this shit is fuckin’ uncomfortable.” I heard him say, and I let out a laugh under my bed.  

“I didn’t complain,” I whispered, and he made a grunting noise. I wasn’t sure if it was meant to be an insult or not, but I just chuckled quietly and pulled out my pistol, aimed at the door ready for anyone who tried to force their way through.  

The sun rose quickly after that, and by the light of the sky, I was able to get a better look at the Ghoul’s sleeping face. There was something so familiar about him, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I decided it was the cowboy look – it reminded me of the niche I’d almost fallen into after my three-month contract with Cooper’s team. The audience had loved our chemistry on screen in The Man from Calabasas, and the studios knew they’d get a lot more money if we came as a package deal – so we shot Under the Covers, City of Starlight and Valley of the Gun together. It took me back to the last film I’d shot, the one I hadn’t finished shooting.  

I looked down at my clothes – the same clothes I’d been wearing 200 years ago on set. The ‘Western Hooker’ dress, of which there had originally been five different versions. The hat, which I’d stolen from my co-worker as a joke, but had still been on my head when we’d been told to start running. For a moment, I could still smell the food that they’d made us on set. I could still smell the horse manure, and the flashing of lights.  

I looked back at the Ghoul, awake now, and almost came to a realisation.

Part 2

[hwangyeonjun]

prompt: “now everyone’s going to know you’re mine”

pairing: han jisung x fem!reader

warnings: smut, (un)protected sex, neck biting and marking, breaf mention of insecurities

word count: 563

2k followers celebration masterlist

jisung loves bragging. one of his biggest accomplishments aside becoming a kpop idol is getting you. he was tailing after you for a long time and when he finally got you, he promised himself to never let you go.

sometimes even literally, everywhere you go, he always has his arms on you, and at home, he just can’t get enough. you don’t mind, it’s nice knowing that you are wanted and loved.

but sometimes it gets too far for his own good. whenever he sees someone else talking to you, or making you laugh, jisung can’t help but get this uncomfortable feeling in his chest. many thought overflow his mind which leads to insecurity. though he never weighs those thoughts down on you, he’d never want this effecting you or your relationship and you are pretty oblivious of what’s happening in his head. actually you are so oblivious that the poor guy spent a whole week sulking over you rejecting him after he confessed that he likes you only for you to realise what he meant seven days later.

tonight though, he was voicing out his thoughts, or more accurately - showing them as he has you pinned against the bathroom wall. his hands are holding you by your thighs tightly while yours are wrapped around his shoulders holding on for dear life as he keeps ramming his cock into you.

“what are you doing to me” he grunted, lips brushing against your neck as he spoke.

you had your head thrown back, giving him access to your neck, your eyes tightly shut, unable to keep them open.

“i-i don’t know” you choked out, not knowing what exactly are you talking about but still feeling the need to answer.

“i think you do” jisung breathes out, thrusting his hips harsher, knocking the air out of you in the process. “you are a little minx, always so oblivious of everything but i know you. i know that you know”

before you could answer, he bites into your neck, making you gasp from the sudden pain. “i don’t” you meek out, digging your nails into his skin when you felt the knot in your stomach tightening.

jisung doesn’t answer, as he still focused on the spot on your neck that he bit just a few seconds before. he kisses it gently, before starting to suck on the spot as an idea popped in his head.

you were too focused on trying not to cum but the tingling feeling on your neck made it harder, the pleasure mixing together.

“jisung i- i want to cum” you whine, trying to pull him closer if that’s even possible.

you completely forgot about the party happening downstairs as jisung encouraged you to let it go, covering your mouth with his to quiet you down at least a little bit knowing you get really loud when you reach your orgasm.

after a few seconds of quick breathing, you opened your eyes to finally look at jisung, while he was already staring at your neck. remembering that he paid a lot of attention to your neck, you already knew what he was looking at. before you can voice your thoughts out, he opened his mouth to speak with a little smirk playing on his lips.

“now everyone’s going to know you’re mine” he muttered, while brusing his fingers through the bruise.

[dusty-daydreams]

Alright so I’m going back through my asks now that I am done with bridgerton and I came across two hate anons 27 days ago - I think from the same anon that has since been deactivated

And again I don’t post hate anon’s directly because this is my space and I get to choose what comes into it

But I do like to address what I’m being accused of (maybe someday I’ll be able just to snort in disdain and delete it and not say anything)

Alright

Point 1

I am “obsessed” with Penelope recieving consequences for a variety of reasons. First because I think that it is basic good practice in story writing for the characters to receive consequences for the things that they do - actions have consequences. It’s basic writing, especially drama writing character x does y which has z consequences and I think it’s bad writing when character x does y and z never happens.

Also this idea that “Penelope didn’t do anything wrong she doesn’t need consequences”

First - you aren’t going to convince me that Penelope didn’t do anything wrong. Even the show things she did somethings wrong - even though I think that Penelope did a lot more things wrong that the show does.

Second - consequences aren’t just for doing things wrong. Consequences are a fact of life, if you work well at work consequences include promotions, raises, commendations, and pizza parties (depending on the job and the level of exploitation). If you aren’t a good friend consequences include being lonely etc.

Consequences are for everyone good and bad and they should be for all characters.

Point 2 - “Penelope was just telling the truth about Marina and those other girls”

I’m going to begin this discussion by saying something - my family is part of a deeply conservative religion and many of my childhood friends come from that religion. They don’t know that I’m Bisexual.

Would it be ethically alright for you or anyone else to out me to my childhood friends and family, just because my sexuality is the “truth”?

If you think yes then we are fundamentally different from each other and I want nothing to do with you.

If you think it wouldn’t be okay I wonder why you think it’s okay for Penelope to “out” women’s sexual secrets to their deeply conservative society likely leading to ostracisation just because she is “telling the truth”

And aside from Marina and the Bridgertons whom she had close intimacy with and was entrusted with secrets - how Cana we possibly know that everything she writes about is the truth. Her primary source is the gossip shared among servants, which is not guaranteed to be accurate.

True or not - it doesn’t make what Penelope does okay

Point 3 - “People like secrets - it makes them feel better than everyone else”

While this might be true - people like keeping secrets because they feel good having something that other people don’t know and people like learning exposed secrets because appearance v reality is just a thing people are fascinated by it’s not the only reason

A lot of people keep secrets because it’s not safe for people to know certain things, or keep secrets because it truly isn’t other people’s business

Besides - of all the characters with secrets that let them feel superior - you don’t think that Penelope “Whistledown is Power - I am going to challenge the Queen of my country because I am riding my secret into a power trip and a superiority complex” Featherington isn’t the worst offender?

Rapid fire round

Point 4 - “Why does Penelope have to apologise?”

Because she ruined people’s lives and hurt people and when you hurt people you apologise

Point 5 - “Why can’t I tolerate a fat woman using power that she built?”

Because she used her power to hurt people

Because she built her power on the backs of other people’s private lives and secrets and they didn’t consent to being written about

Not because she is fat - strangely I - a woman who is overweight don’t have a problem with fat women being in power - just horrible people being in power

Point 6 - “Why do you hate Penelope?”

This might come as a surprise to some people but I don’t hate Penelope - not really

I think she is a super interesting complex character that was done a disservice by writers that wanted her to be a flawless girlboss and not a complex antagonist that could be redeemed

[wrathofrats]

Another extremely accurate post of me guessing your personality based on your fav ghoul, but I’m nicer this time!

Mountain: you bitches terrify me. Like I’m a good way. Mostly very chill people, just kinda wanting to get their work done and go, but when it comes to that tall ass piece of meat?? Holy fuck y’all go crazy. Insane. Feral. Y’all rival the Swiss people which is so funny to be considering how mountain is headcanoned to be. Also I think you’re a good baker idk why.

Rain: ahhh!! Y’all are very sweet. Sassy but usually very sweet. Calm, don’t have much to say until you have a burning desire to see a fish in a dress. But all you wanna do is dress up your pretty little ghoul and vibe. Very artistic people. Some of y’all have a weird sadism streak tho and I’m concerned for you!!! You remind me of like a 5 year old whispering to their parents in the middle of the night that they’re going to skin mom. But affectionately

Aether: the absolute sweetest people. Genuinely very kind and cares for others I love y’all so much. Just wants to see everyone be happy and tell stupid jokes. Your fav color is like yellow or purple I’m almost positive. Your love language is touch and words of affirmation. Y’all don’t have much to say but you’re such a ray of sunshine kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

Dew: babe ………. Babe. I love you. This is the most self destructive answer. I think we need to stop consuming caffeine and let’s instead maybe see a therapist. You’re so fun, and funny. You’re a little shit (affectionately) people love you a lot more than you think. How about we learn to accept compliments? And maybe how to sit down? But you’re very entertaining!!!

Swiss: alright you stupid cunt. Funniest fucking people ever. Also horniest people ever. Y’all are great leaders, usually have bold personalities. Life of the party. But also let’s learn how to be nice to others. Bullying those we love is not a valid love language but you’re very very funny so, give and take I guess. Also youre hot you must be I don’t make the rules. 

Cumulus: sweetest people also. Mom friend. I know you probably have a giant purse that you keep candy and ibuprofen in. Let’s maybe learn to put the air mask on ourselves before others? Usually fairly shy but it’s ok I love you. You look amazing in a sundress, and you’re like the least judge mental person ever. I’m feeding you a strawberry rn let me know if you receive it

Cirrus: god YOURE HOT. You’re so fucking confident. You are here to tell people what to do and get shit done, and every listens to you. You’re the plan maker. Here’s the itinerary and if you don’t like it figure something else out. You give good solid and very honest advice

Sunny: ohhh my sweet summer child. You’re a lot! I love you for it! You want to do everything all the time and know everything about everything, so so very curious. You ate glue as a child, affectionately. But it’s ok! You’re adorable and very yellow coded. Probably eats dessert before dinner, you absolutely have a sweet tooth.

Phantom: hey another dumbass, affectionately. Put down the fucking green hair dye. PUT IT DOWN. Y’all are golden retriever people, usually just very happy to be here. Puts on a badass face but very nice and usually kinda chill. Cargo shorts and pants are not the only fashion choices if you were not already aware, but it’s ok you’ll grow out of it!

Aurora: you’re so cute!! Probably a bit mean, very much a princess. Prissy and wants what they want when they want it. But you know being kind is cool and usually wanna sit and listen to other people.

[dress-and-impress]

I’m doing my own take on other personality types cos the ones I’ve seen are by analysts and I’m a diplomat

ENTP- ya’ll actually scare me sometimes but u speak your mind about… everything and your confidence is smth I look up to.

ENTJ- ya’ll are quite intelligent and know what to say in a conversation.

INTP- I love ya’ll. You have very big brain power with a very well balanced goofy brain power. Your actually very insightful and your actually very funny.

INTJ- you seem very intelligent and knowledgeable. And very well structured in your study and daily life.

ENFP- every single ENFP I’ve met is so friendly and a lil cinnamon roll. And even if they/you don’t know if their an enfp… you can just tell. But low key u guys DO kinda scare me too cos u can fuse into an infp or an entp in a matter of seconds (it’s okay… you can be an infp any time you like). Just like entp your confidence and vibrancy and joy is smth I look up to.

ENFJ- ya’ll are so heroic… well duh your the protagonist styled peeps. Classic diplomat with feelings and motivation to do what’s right for themselves and others.

INFP- this is my type and I’m not gonna be biased. We’re so bloody weird. All I gotta say. U gotta catch us on a good day and we’ll be involved in everything. Catch us on a bad day and you’ll probs feel a weird vibe. We’re either too much or too little. (P.s soo many ppl have told me they love infp’s and I wanna ask why? Like no offence to other infp’s but like I don’t get it?)

INFJ- I love you guys so much. So so nice and caring and thoughtful. You guys listen and make conversation and I feel like your so similar to infp’s (no wonder you would get mistyped so much)

ESTP- wild lil animals (idk what else soz)

ESFP- big fun friendly party animals that make me feel free like I shouldn’t have a care in the world. Your very bright and bubbly people that see the world in a different exciting light.

ISTP- ya’ll make me feel so grounded and chill and take a few steps back. “No big deal” vibes

ISFP- also very much like INFP. You have passions and are very dedicated but also very emotional

ESTJ- even tho your the complete opposite to me, ya’ll actually aren’t so bad. Your very loud and proud and I think big on perfection.

ESFJ- a big teddy bear. Similar vibes to ENFJ I think and wants to be there for everyone

ISTJ- very structured and observant (also I think big on perfection)

ISFJ- your the sweetest personality type ever. I love you guys u always are so thoughtful and listen and your calm and chill.

*** Pls do not get offended I was as nice as possible and hope this is kinda accurate this is only from my personal experiences with personality types and I haven’t befriended all 16 personality types (although I have met about thousands of INFP’s and another thousand ENFP’s)

[deerscradle]

okay, so... the universe basically threw signs in my face yesterday (on my birthday, no less!) to remind me that i can desire and manifest literally anything i want — and that i'm on the right path.

first off, while i was on the bus back to my dorm after class, i was deep in my thoughts about my spn dr and how much i want to shift. and JUST THEN, a motorcycle passed right beside the bus, and guess what was written on the number plate? CAS. I FREAKED OUT. like, it made me so happy. 💖

later, i started thinking about asking for signs from the universe to confirm that i was going to shift. but then... doubts crept in (i knowwww — i'm working on trusting myself and my mindset. don't throw tomatoes 😣) i remembered that when i was trying to shift to my previous dr (the hunger games) 2 years ago, i asked to see roses outside during car/bus rides as a sign a few times, and it never happened. so, of course, i was like, "it probably won't happen this time either…" but then, just as i thought that, i saw a bunch of red roses tied to a pole 😭😭😭

when i got back to my dorm that night, i decided to ask my tarot cards some questions (i’m a beginner, btw). my first question was : "am i on the right path to shift?" the card i pulled? eight of pentacles. 🪙 this card basically says you're making progress, improving, and mastering your craft — you just need to keep going.

i also asked a few questions about my personal life in my dr, and the cards were so accurate. they didn't sugarcoat things with a "yayy ❤️ everything will be all giggles and butterfiles" vibe. they were real. for example, when i asked if my s/o was the love of my life, i drew the strength card. it shows a girl calming a lion, and kinda taming that lion, showing that you make that person weak and they show you a different side of them that they never show anyone else normally. and it means the relationship has its pros and cons, kinda like a wild dynamic, but mutual maturity and effort can make it work when it comes to love if both parties really want to make it work. honestly? spot-on.

afterward, i decided to look up tarot meanings on youtube to learn more. while scrolling, i stumbled upon an unrelated video from a channel called taroverse (highly recommend, btw). i watched one of his general energy readings, and WOW. it was so accurate. i don’t remember everything word-for-word, but the reader mentioned feeling stuck in a place and LITERALLY said "the door is right there, yet you decide to not step in, doesn't matter if you do this consciously or not. you deep down think that you don't deserve this new step, but you have to change your mindset. or you'll delay this new awakening etc." HE CALLED ME OUT. i feel like i needed to hear that. 😭

then i clicked on his capricorn love reading, he talked about how my shadow self is damaging me, that i have to work on that or i'll keep hurting myself and it may sabotage my love life too (...). and when he pulled cards about my s/o, he said he was getting air sign energy — specifically AQUARIUS. (Dean. Is. An. AQUARIUS. 🥹🥹) i legit teared up a little right then and there.

and to top it off, while watching all this, i randomly felt like looking at my phone. no notifications or anything, just an urge to check. it was 23:23 🥹 (while writing this post i looked again with an urge now and it was 19:19).

the universe is literally screaming at me to wake up and trust the process. and i know i need to stop constantly looking for signs because the universe isn't waiting on me to shift — i have to choose my reality and my desires. i'll work on this. the signs are everywhere guys, whether you see them or not, trust yourself. 2025 is OUR year.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hey weirdish question, do you think it would be weird to ask my father/siblings about my childhood? I want to remember more about my life growing up, I know it sucked and I have some memories about how it sucked, but I've also lost more memories, not just from dissociation but from a history of concussions and so I hard remember even my teen years as a minor even though I'm only 20 and I just want to know more? I feel really bad about never remembering things, like I forget birthdays, important events, vacations with my father (probably the happiest points of my life since I was away from my mother) and it just feels so bad. I also have second question, how do I figure out if I'm disordered or not? I have aphantasia so I can't inner communicate but a lot of my alters are very similar to "me" "me" being the fronting consciousness seems to always be here even if I specifically am not, and we do seem to generally retain some memories between us but we're still constantly losing memories and time within a week of forming said memories but I don't know that you could call that amnesia?

-Newt

Hi! We’ll try to answer these questions to the best of our ability!

Would it be weird to ask your father/siblings about your childhood?

We don’t know you or your family, and this will seriously depend on the dynamics you have with your family members and how each of them view y’all’s collective history! Is there any chance they might have harmed you in your childhood, or might become defensive if you ask about your history? Are you in a place now where you are safe and/or independent?

As a system who also has lots of amnesia surrounding our childhood, we honestly haven’t been able to recover many memories through conversations with our family. If someone tells us something that happened to us in childhood, it feels to us like a story or something that happened to someone else. We haven’t been able to recover many memories this way. We’re not a doctor and we’re not sure how amnesia really works entirely, but asking other people to recount your childhood may not be the best way to try and recall memories you’ve lost.

However, if your father has pictures, a photo book, or some other sort of album containing images from your positive experiences in childhood, it may be worth it to ask about this. Many parents do keep some sort of photo evidence of their children’s lives and upbringings. Looking at images or videos of your youth might help to jog your memory!

When it comes to keeping track of events in your life, you could try keeping a calendar in which you write down important dates like birthdays and future important events. We keep track of these things in our phone’s calendar, which can actually alert us when the event is approaching, so it’s super helpful! Without some sort of calendar/alert system, it would be incredibly difficult for us to keep up with everything in our lives! 😅

And with regards to your second question: How to tell whether or not you are disordered, that’s really tricky and the answer will vary vastly from system to system (and even headmate to headmate)!

We wrote a post outlining our own system’s experience with disordered plurality. We’re just going to link it in hopes that it may help answer this question! We do believe that it’s up to the individual, not any outside party, to determine whether or not an experience they live with is disordered or not.

We also wrote a post specifically about dissociative amnesia, with our experience and some additional resources! Maybe it can help y’all figure out whether or not you’re experiencing amnesia to some extent.

We hope this helps! Good luck with everything, Newt - we hope that if you do talk to your family it goes really smoothly!

🌷 Corrie and 🐢 Kip

[electricbluebutterflies]

Jess/Leto + “i’m the wedding planner, and you’re the best man/bridesmaid”

Modern AU is... not the easiest for these babes but here we are anyways. PG-ish and also on ao3.

There are moments sometimes that make Jessica question every life choice that got her there.

Take this one, for instance. It’s six in the evening on a late-summer Saturday, which means she’s working, which means the list of people she’d maim if she could get away with it is multiplying, which means she has to remind herself at least every few minutes that crazy people with money have used some of that money to hire her and the payout is going to be worth it. Her competence is included in the price of the venue, her ability to get various wedding vendors to do what needs done with minimal complaining, her absolute gift for running damage control in almost any possible crisis and in five years in this line of work she’s seen basically everything and-

It's six in the evening, she’s hovering on the edge of the reception hall during a cocktail hour, and suddenly someone notices her. Well. This is going to be a problem.

The reason Jessica is able to do everything she does is because she has a talent for not being noticed. She is the person on the ground during the event, not the person anyone met when they were booking this place, and if all goes well no one in the wedding party even knows she exists. She made sure setup went according to plan, yes, but her dominant skills don’t come into play until the reception, until the delicate coordination of too many moving parts, and-

One of the groomsmen – second from the end in this ensemble, and Jessica always questions bigger lineups – is looking right at her. Oh. Dear.

Not looking like he’s about to turn into the male version of a Karen on her, thank goodness, and not looking at her like prey, which… has happened a few times, unfortunately, and-

And now he’s moving her general direction, and this is the part of this ordeal where she’s supposed to watch for disaster, and she may be the disaster this time, and-

“Are you alright?”

Has anyone ever legitimately asked her that question when she’s working? Maybe that one wedding where the bride’s aunt had a heart attack in the buffet line, that wasn’t something she’d enjoyed being so close to, but-

“There are still about thirty things that could very easily go wrong in the next however many hours,” Jessica replies without thinking. “Answer your own question.”

“And are any of them going wrong right now?”

From his tone, she doesn’t think he’s trying to be an asshole, but it still gets under her skin and-

“If you aren’t about to change that, please go annoy someone else.”

“If that’s how it’s coming across… I’m sorry. Wasn’t my intent.”

“Intent gets nowhere with me. You’re still-“

Something inside her breaks, something tired and honestly unsure how to interact with someone pleasant to look at who’s actually paying attention to her and these things don’t happen and-

All these thorns she’s put up, she thinks, and maybe someone could still get through to her. What then?

“I shouldn’t have come over here,” the stray groomsman says after a few moments’ silence. “Probably wildly inappropriate to-“

“You haven’t made any comments about my body and you’re not yelling at me about something I had nothing to do with. So far so good.”

“So, I see the funeral outfit… is that on the line or-“

“It’s accurate and doesn’t sound like a proposition,” Jessica replies. “I’ll allow it.”

“So, funeral dress and actual physical clipboard and what exactly are you doing here. I don’t…”

“Damage control. This is the schedule for the evening and my job is to make sure everyone else does theirs. Which, so far…”

“No disaster yet.”

“Not yet. Could change, we’re early enough in the night, but usually I get vibes and… tonight I’m not getting vibes. Might almost turn out quiet.”

“And if it does?”

He asks far too many questions, she thinks, but there’s something almost warm about it, something she can’t pin down, something-

“I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

“If I were to come over here later, sometime after the bride’s cousin gets hit in the face with the throw bouquet, and want to talk to you – just talk, not trying to-“

“I probably won’t be over here later.”

He gives her one of the most genuinely confused looks she’s ever seen, and on some level she admires his persistence despite her mixed signals and-

“Then… wherever you are. If that’s okay. If-“

It’s just a promise of conversation, Jessica justifies. Doesn’t mean anything. Won’t go further than that. Might rescue her counterpart from something he’s avoiding, at most. Won’t…

“Yes,” she says, trying to make herself look calm. “I’d like that.”

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

5sos5 Lyric Fic Titles Masterlist

a glimmer of hope that was starin’ at me (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor ot4 T, 7k

Summary: It’s difficult being in a relationship with three guys, and one of them hates you. On their one year anniversary, the four go to a cabin to celebrate. Luke knows that he has to make a decision soon. Things get messy, and then they’re okay again. Happy ending.

a piece of peace of mind (ao3) - sparklyjimin T, 1k

Summary: it feels like forever since they performed for fans, and the prospect of going on tour feels a lot like coming home to luke.

then again, he’s just spend two years struggling with being isolated from others, and maybe facing a crowd again all of a sudden is going to be a little much for him to deal with.

A Youth That was Stolen (ao3) - DearDevotedDelicate luke/calum G, 3k

Summary: Wether it’s a quiet time, or needing to be away from the others, Calum typically isn’t like that. But when he suddenly is, and Luke is the only one who seems to notice, it sets off something that can’t stop.

between all the gasping, i finally breathe (ao3) - bellawritess michael/luke T, 8k

Summary: Sick probably more accurately describes how Luke is going to feel after four in the morning at the beach in the middle of September. If it were anyone else, that would deter him. In fact, that would be his excuse. Love to go, but I’m afraid I’ll catch cold.

But it’s not anyone else. It’s Michael. And the thing with Michael that Luke learned a long time ago is that you have to carve out moments with him and clench them in your fist or you’ll find yourself fading from his life.

caught up in distractions (ao3) - bellawritess luke/calum T, 2k

Summary: “Come on, Calum. Clearly something’s wrong, you’re harassing Matt. Is this about Luke?”

Calum sighs. What a dumb question, he thinks. Everything is about Luke.

“He’s not here,” he says quietly.

Here in the darkness, back where we started (ao3) - sunsetmagnolia luke/calum T, 4k

Summary: With no one caring who stays or leaves before morning, Calum disappears earlier and earlier from his own parties to steal that time with Luke instead. And Luke is always perfectly willing to be pulled away.

i’m caught up in distractions (fatal attractions) (ao3) - mukelftv T, 1k

Summary: a ydgtp fic.

I’m Just Feeling Kinda Broken (ao3) - mlstyles257 ot4 N/R, 9k

Summary: “Is he okay?” Michael asks as he and Calum rush to where Ashton is cradling Luke on their dressing room sofa. Luke is definitely distraught, he’s hiding his face in Ashton’s tee, wailing and hiccuping on sobs. “I don’t know.” Ashton is trying to keep his voice calm, hushing and rocking Luke as the boy cries. “I didn’t even see him fall.” He presses a string of gentle kisses to Luke’s forehead, whispering reassurances as he goes. … “Guys I don’t know what to do, he’s obviously in pain but I don’t think we can keep him up long enough to get checked out.”

aka Luke gets hurt during one of their shows and struggles with his little headspace.

take my hand (ao3) - dioramas (nuages) T, 4k

Summary: when calum nods, painfully slow and almost angry with his own self as if he didn’t mean to, he knows it’s laced with alcohol too, and he feels defeated and like a champion all at once.

Take My Hand (Don’t You Ever Let Go) (ao3) - Anonymous T, 1k

Summary: (Or where Calum has a bad day, but Ashton makes everything better.)

take my hand, now and forever (don’t ever let go) (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor calum/ashton T, 9k

Summary: Ashton is a single parent who’s not had good luck with dating ever since his son was brought into his life. Then, he meets Calum, who’s the first guy who’s ever shown interest in him and his son.

[starseedfxofficial]

The Schaff Trend Cycle: Unlocking GBP/JPY Market Secrets with a Ninja's Precision If you think trading Forex is all about crunching numbers, analyzing data, and adopting a poker face at all times—well, you're mostly right. But let’s add a twist: imagine you're armed with a ninja's toolkit and a comedic outlook on what makes trading less painful and even more profitable. In today's exploration, we’re delving into the mighty "Schaff Trend Cycle" (STC) and its application to one of the trickiest, yet most promising currency pairs: the British Pound/Japanese Yen (GBP/JPY). Why GBP/JPY Is a Unique Beast Ah, GBP/JPY—the currency pair known for its dramatic mood swings and volatility. It’s like that friend you’re always trying to cheer up because one minute they’re high on life, and the next, they’re considering moving to a remote mountain to live in silence. This pair has a reputation for its unpredictability, and that's precisely what makes it so darn attractive for seasoned traders looking for adrenaline-pumping trades. To navigate the wild swings of GBP/JPY, you need more than just luck—you need something stealthy and tactical. Enter the Schaff Trend Cycle: a next-level oscillator developed by Doug Schaff that’s used to predict market turns with uncanny accuracy. STC isn't just another "fancy lines" tool on your trading screen—it’s your ticket to timing those sweet spots in volatile pairs like GBP/JPY. What Makes It Tick? Let’s set the scene: You’re trying to catch a trend. You have a choice—you could either use the Relative Strength Index (RSI), which sometimes feels like trying to predict the weather using your pet's mood, or you could bring in the Schaff Trend Cycle. STC is different. It takes elements from both the Moving Average Convergence Divergence (MACD) and stochastic oscillators, and does it faster, more accurately, and—let's face it—in a way that would make even a ninja proud. STC uses MACD values to determine overbought and oversold conditions but processes the information in a way that catches trends quicker than its predecessors. It’s like that one friend who just knows where the party is going to be, while everyone else is still sitting at home scrolling through invites. For GBP/JPY, this is especially crucial—timing is everything when the pair has mood swings that rival reality TV drama. How to Set Up Schaff Trend Cycle for GBP/JPY Alright, but what good is all this knowledge if you don't know how to use it? Setting up STC to work its magic on GBP/JPY is relatively straightforward—and no, it doesn't involve hiring a monk to bless your trading desk. Here’s a quick guide: - Pull Up the STC Indicator: Most trading platforms have STC readily available. If it’s not, you’ll need to find a custom indicator. (No monk yet, but I can’t promise we won’t need him by step 4). - Tune Parameters to GBP/JPY’s Frequency: Typically, you’d use a cycle length of 10 and a MACD length of 23-50. For GBP/JPY, you might want to test these settings and tweak slightly—think of it like cooking: some like it spicier. - Identify Entry and Exit Points: Look for buy signals when STC crosses above 25 and sell signals when it drops below 75. GBP/JPY's volatility makes early identification crucial. If you’re late to the game, it’s like showing up to a buffet five minutes before it closes—you’re left with a sad selection of Brussels sprouts and regrets. Advanced GBP/JPY Strategies with STC Now that we have the basics, let’s get to the juicy stuff—the moves only a true Forex ninja would dare to pull. If you want to dance with GBP/JPY like it’s the final round of a salsa competition, consider these advanced tactics: - Pair with Divergence Analysis: One of the smartest ways to get an edge is to combine STC with divergence. When GBP/JPY's price is making higher highs, but STC is doing the exact opposite, that’s your cue. It’s like when you see a relationship on Instagram that seems perfect—but you just know there’s trouble brewing behind the filter. - Use for Swing Trading: GBP/JPY loves to swing—it’s practically a pendulum on steroids. STC works wonders for identifying key moments to enter and exit during these swings. Rather than waiting for a complete trend reversal, use STC to hop in for those quick yet profitable moves. Why Most Traders Get It Wrong (And How You Can Avoid It) Here’s where many traders get tripped up: GBP/JPY isn’t just volatile—it’s cheeky. It fakes you out more times than a toddler learning peek-a-boo. Traders often rush in when STC indicates a possible trend without accounting for the pair's intrinsic habit of false signals. That’s why using confirmatory indicators like Bollinger Bands or support/resistance zones can be a game-changer. Moreover, timing is everything. While GBP/JPY might seem like it’s gearing up for a smooth uptrend, the pair often backtracks in a fit of indecision—like deciding between ordering pizza or salad. Use STC, but don't forget to add a sprinkle of common sense—and a dash of patience—to the mix. A Real-World Case Study: 2023's Flash Yen Movement Let’s get into some juicy, real-world action. In July 2023, the GBP/JPY pair experienced a rapid climb as the Yen weakened following news from the Bank of Japan (BoJ). Traders who employed the Schaff Trend Cycle were able to enter early during this major upward movement when STC crossed above 25, grabbing pips that made their trading month. Those relying solely on lagging indicators, however? They were left at the station as the GBP/JPY express took off. The Hidden Patterns That Drive the Market GBP/JPY often moves in sync with risk sentiment—that is, how much risk investors are willing to take. Understanding this and pairing it with STC can lead to great insights. When investors are feeling gutsy (risk-on), GBP/JPY tends to soar. When they’re feeling like life’s throwing lemons without any sugar to make lemonade (risk-off), it plummets. Using STC here is like having early warning radar; it helps you see where risk sentiment is changing before the masses do. Couple that with some light macroeconomic analysis, and you’ll be dancing through those trends like a pro—all without stepping on your partner's toes. Master GBP/JPY Like a Ninja Trading GBP/JPY with the Schaff Trend Cycle isn’t just about predicting market moves—it's about understanding the ebb and flow of a dynamic, unpredictable currency pair and tackling it with strategic precision. Remember, trading isn't just a game of numbers; it’s an emotional rollercoaster. Learning to leverage tools like the STC will help you transform from a "trader" into a market "ninja" who knows when to strike and when to stay hidden in the shadows, watching for the perfect moment. If you’re ready to take your trading to the next level, check out our Forex courses and community. With expert insights, live trading rooms, and exclusive indicators like the Schaff Trend Cycle, you’ll be geared up to conquer even the most volatile pairs. Join us at StarseedFX Community and let’s turn those trading nightmares into victorious success stories—with a touch of humor, of course. —————– Image Credits: Cover image at the top is AI-generated   Read the full article

[wisteria-html]

Ok. I’m going to start by saying that I’m ignoring everything that happened after this, because Birdie and Chris are my friends and I worry it would color this interaction. So. For the moment I am only considering this specific post for my response.

To start, thank you for apologizing. I accept it but as I said I can’t forgive you yet. I want to and I will work towards it but I’m not there yet. Nonetheless you saying that means a lot to me, and I accept your apology.

I have been acting excessively vitriolic and I’ve admitted that. I believe multiple times, though I don’t have the energy to go back and check. It’s not entirely your fault. The way you left suddenly without a true goodbye genuinely triggered me about something that happened a few months ago in my personal life. More than anything it was a shock, I thought I was safe here with all of you and suddenly it was happening again. I was at a Christmas party talking about what had happened a few months ago when I got the notification from Chris telling me you left. I know you tried to say goodbye, but I never saw it. I didn’t even get to hear it from you. Since then I’ve watched you hurt my friends (whether you meant to or not) and that just made me more angry. I’ll admit I wasn’t being entirely fair. I’m not used to being angry. I don’t know how to deal with it. If I’ve been excessively harsh I’m genuinely sorry. I just didn’t know how else to deal with this.

You’re right. You were able to be contacted. It didn’t seem like you wanted to, though, and I wasn’t going to push. A few months ago I was told to never contact who I thought was my best friend again. I got an impersonal goodbye and a boundary set. That day I decided not to beg people to have me in their life. I refuse to beg people to care about me. That’s what it felt like. And I didn’t have the energy to follow you down whatever hole you were digging yourself. Whether that’s accurate or not is up for debate, but that’s how I was viewing things in the moment.

That’s also why I was hesitant to step in with the hag, by the way. With the book, before I was cursed you knew I cared about you and wanted you around. You could assume the change in behavior was due to the curse. With you, I genuinely didn’t know whether you were enchanted or not because you left before you met her. I had no idea whether you wanted my help and again, I was not going to push. I’m sorry if that made you lose faith in me. I just couldn’t do that to myself.

Deleting that tumblr blog was a lot actually. I feel like you’re minimizing it and I can’t tell if that’s accidental or not. In deleting that, you deleted all evidence of a lot of our interactions, as well as half of our conversations (in the tags). It was like suddenly you and our past was completely inaccessible. All I had was what I had reblogged and even that was unfinished. Not only did you take yourself from me, you took a lot of the memories of you too. That’s your choice, I get it. But it did hurt more than you think.

Finally, I disagree with your last point. Sure if friends never trust each other then it won’t work, but there is absolutely space to rebuild broken trust in a friendship. I don’t know if that’s the route we’re heading (not because I hate you or am still furious, just other factors), but it is possible. I truly believe that. I think that anything can be rebuilt, even if it takes a while to be as strong as it was before. Sometimes it’s better to cut losses, but other times it’s worth it.

I wanna explain where my head is at for a bit now. It feels mean to say I don’t trust you, but I think it’s true. I wish it wasn’t, but every time we talk I’m so scared you’re going to leave without a trace again. If I open myself up to you and it happens again I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Not the way it happened before, without real closure. When I say I wouldn’t be able to handle it, I mean it: I think I would genuinely leave this little community. Certainly for longer than two weeks. And it’s not entirely your fault I feel this way, but right now my interactions with you are colored by my fear. Fear that it will all be for nothing in the end.

I think I still love you. I know I still care about you. I know I miss you. I hope you feel the same about me. I think that at this point we just both have to think about where we’re heading and if those paths are aligned or if they’re diverging.

Mavis,

I don't regret punching your nerd face, and I will do it again. Birdie, I'm unhappy with you, you rushed into something stupid, and took all my friends with you and then blamed me for your actions. As far as I'm concerned we are not on good terms. You knew Chris shouldn't have exposed himself to the cult and you were a bad friend and family member. You also enabled the killing of countless innocents with Alex. Wisteria, I am sorry for abandoning you, it was heat of the moment and it was the wrong choice. But, I told everyone where I went the day of, and you've acted excessively vitriolic towards me. I was not unable to be contacted, I deleted a tumblr blog. I still stand by the idea that if both parties are unable to trust each other, we can not meaningfully be friends. Chris,

I was deeply hurt by your actions, but I also acted selfishly and dramatically. It wasn't your fault birdie acted rashly, you were just trying to help your (stupid) family. The bog thing was bad, and the hag thing isn't an excuse. I want to make it up to you, and I've missed you this whole time. I understand that I've been bad to you, but I also want to say, a lot of it was not intended to be cruel. I am... kind of stupid. I hope I can make it up to you one day. Alexandria, Fuck you Alex.

[knowlesian]

i was asked about my second favorite joke and i have finally decided: it’s the exchange about the the orange, because holy shit is that a textbook example of a slyer, more character-informing sort of joke construction than the set-up/escalation of the crystals.

(no shade to the crystals, which i wrote about here: it is my favorite for a reason. it is maybe The Perfect Joke.)

that said, tiiiiiiiiime to over-analyze.

shoutout to the leadup, which lampshades lucius pulling absolutely acres of emotional weight for the people around him (and then makes it even better by stede just jumping in to do it himself and lucius not actually having to lift a finger, wooden or not) and the deadpan chorus of ‘it’s a rock’ in response to stede’s delusional glee.

secondary shoutout to how ed starts to clean off the orange despite verbally letting down stede easy— if stede’s superpower is being oblivious to reality and sometimes that makes him do things like run the fuck off without fully explaining himself, it’s also what makes him beautiful and so fucking ready to evolve.

stede is A Lot, but he’s family. his ability to look at the world and say ‘actually, i think it would be more fun if we did it this way and as such: i will be dragging those around me into my delusions that life and the world can be better than it currently is’ is fucking... i mean. what a gem, you know?

so ed says: it’s a rock, it’s a piece of shit, and he still rinses it off carefully anyway to answer this irrepressible ‘but what IF’ because just being around stede seems to allow people to assume these emotional risks, either through proximity to his privilege or his open-bedroom door management style (in a way stede can’t quite seem do for himself until he goes back to fix things with mary the writing on this SHOW my god) and then ed makes the best face when he realizes that once again, stede’s delusional belief in his ability to make things work has panned out: the rock is an orange.

like jim says: the old tree still had some fruit to give after all.

(sustenance frozen in time? a family legacy? jesus fuck if i start asking myself what is the orange, really, in specific relation to the tree itself i will not GET TO THE JOKE JESUS FUCK I HAVE NOT EVEN GOTTEN TO THE FUCKING THING YET. okay: the orange. like nana and stede and everybody else on this show, it’s a lot, but also it means a lot and i love it.

i cannot speak of the tree. the tree is this whole other insane post in the making. everything on this show means like six things at once on TOP of the actual plot and i’m mad at it. all the time, mad at it.)

finally: the actual joke.

I suppose you should have it. It’s your land.

It’s cool. Finders keepers.

Oh thank god! I didn’t want to give it to you. I think this is my new favorite thing!

jesus christ they do so much heavy fucking lifting with so few words on this show. all the time forever, they pack a whole essay into the words they use and how they use them.

okay: i’ll start on the surface, where it’s not even about words. stede is dressed for a cartoon safari. that outfit is calling up some very purposeful imagery, and it’s about one pit stop shy of him having on a literal pith helmet for no reason. 

so just visually, we have stede looking like he’s ready to go discover someplace people have lived for centuries, literally digging shit up on jim’s ancestral land, and wanting to take it home with him.

stede: the new face of the british museum!!!! 

(don’t @ me, i know i know be accurately mad. ‘the new face of the new zealand museum’ just didn’t have the right ring.)

because they’re really good at this shit they take that obvious visual gag and use it to show stede’s grown as a person since the party; he immediately sighs and tosses the orange off to jim. he knows the right thing to do here.

then we get jim getting to solidify/close a character arc chapter with tossing it back: they’re all good. they’ve got olu, they’ve got nana, and family isn’t something they need concrete evidence can exist for them anymore.

(plus: it’s very obvious stede wants it.)

this last part is where it gets very, very cool: stede’s response.

one of the rules for writing comedy (if you want to maximize storytelling alongside the jokes) is that your jokes need to inform character. ofmd is a fucking masterclass on that.

level one: stede is saying the quiet part loud. someone telling the truth in a socially inappropriate way is a staple in comedy: always has been, always will be. it’s just funny that he’s brightly like oh good!!!! i never wanted to share at all!!!! fuck you guys i want this orange, come to orange papa!!!!! 

comedy math is comedy math.

it’s reminding us that stede is evolving, but he’s still stede: he pulled back the impulse to go full main character syndrome and ignore the part of his miraculous orange discovery where the orange didn’t belong to him just because he dug it up while jim asked him what the fuck he was doing, but he really goddamn wanted that orange!!!!

which takes me down to the next level: stede doesn’t just love nice things, he defines himself by his love for/ownership of them. the first part’s fine and good with the narrative, while it seems pretty solidly against the second. 

sidenote: ed chucking stede’s generational wealth overboard is also ed giving them a space free of stede’s old life where they can figure their shit out together under the gaze of mary’s lighthouse, one day. i’m mad at the writers. VERY MAD.

if i had to guess where the show is going with this stede still loving/one day re-obtaining fancy pants and having plans to match won’t be an issue, so long as he knows who the fuck he is without those pants.

(...i did not intend that to be a sex thing but i stand by it now that i have made it so, your honor. tits AND ass, your honor: we want them both.)

stupid sex jokes aside, here’s where it gets really cool: this fucking miracle of a metaphor of an orange is now stede’s favorite thing.

not his riches; not his fancy pants. not something he bought with money he lucked into and inherited from his shitty father, not a symbol of wealth or class or status.

a humble orange. (consider: the humble lighthouse orange. fuuuuuck this show.)

a humble orange he obtained through honest means: jim gave it to him because stede’s a lot, but he’s family, and because stede’s fuckup with the oranges gave jim their family back in the form of nana knowing who they really are and accepting them in, cake and all, but also in the form of olu basically professing eternal love in the most wonderful way possible.

if stede wasn’t a dumbass with a fancy ship who picked jim up and didn’t know why oranges were crucial and wasn’t desperate to impress ed and the treasure map didn’t burn up because lucius was busy watching his dads fall in love right in front of his snake, does jim ever get this closure (or stede this orange)?

probably not. they had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the shore party, they did NOT think they’d find a welcome here.

and then: they did. nana had cake waiting, nana is more concerned about murder stats than pronouns, and nana absolutely loves olu. without this day trip, jim might have spent the rest of their life wondering if family was unconditional, or if family ends where honesty begins.

that orange is a gift; that orange is a thank you.

and now thanks to all those dominoes stede has this orange, granted to him because of the two sides of his habit of forgetting reality exists, not in spite of one of them, and because a lot of the time stede forgets the rules the world tells him he should care about are actually supposed to matter to him.

stede defines himself by things: he is entering the next part of this story with the orange that means family and love that embraces nuance instead of wanting to hide or smooth it over as his favorite thing.

i mean. i M E A N.

[messers-moony]

King and Queen | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Fem!Potter!Reader, James Potter X Fem!Twin!Reader

Summary: James goes through a lot during his time at Hogwarts but his sister is always by his side.

Inspiration: Click

A/N: If this comes off insensitive to anyone please let me know and I will remove this.

James Potter was a handful. From the minute he was born, he had this gleam in his hazel eyes that raged and burned with trouble. His twin, Y/n Potter, was almost the opposite. The soft smile that laid on her features and the glitter of calamity in her eyes. Euphemia and Fleamont were in for a lot the minute their twins were born. 

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is most comparative to having a web browser up with one too many tabs. James had always been unable to focus and was naturally messy. Truth be told, he thought it was normal, just as everyone else did. It wasn’t until his second year at Hogwarts did he realize something was genuinely wrong with him. 

Remus told him that he had this muggle thing called “dyslexia,” which was a difficulty in interpreting words, letters, and other symbols. However, it never affected his overall intelligence because everyone knew that Remus Lupin was indeed and wholly brilliant. It got James wondering, did his inability to focus, be organized, and hyperactivity have a deeper meaning?

His twin - Y/n - was quite the opposite. She made quick friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who were close friends of her twin. Y/n was top of their class, creating a friendly competition with Remus, but she was always able to focus. Often she would hyper-focus, which would leave her working for over five hours at a time without realizing it. In those times, James would have to snap her out of it. 

Over the summer, James expressed his concerns to his parents. He was talking about how this could be a real issue he’s facing using Remus’ dyslexia as an example. Eventually, they gave in, letting James go to a muggle doctor. James had to fill out a questionnaire that would come back with his results in one week. That week was probably the longest week of his life. Nonetheless, his test results had come back positive. 

Fleamont and Euphemia would be lying if they were surprised. After hearing about the disorder, it was almost the definition of their eldest son. Fortunately for James, the muggles had come up with a cure - no, not a cure - dammit, what was it again?

Impede the symptoms! That’s what those muggle pills do. James was required to take two pills a day, one in the morning and once at night. Y/n was in charge of making sure he did so because - more times than he’d like to admit - he would forget everything if it wasn’t for Y/n. 

In third year, James was as energetic as ever while getting on the Hogwarts Express, “Aren’t you excited, Y/n?!”

She chuckled, “Yes, but Merlin, you don’t need to literally jump with joy.”

“But I’m excited!”

“I know that.”

They made their way to the compartment that held Remus, who was reading a book. James sat in front of him while Y/n took her seat beside Remus, “‘Ello Remus.”

“Hey, Potter pair.”

Y/n sighed, and James groaned, “That nickname needs to go away.”

“I quite like it.” Remus stated smugly, “Suits you both.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Y/n accused falsely, “It means that wherever one of you are, the other isn’t that far behind.” Remus replied. 

James had zoned out already, and Y/n snapped in his face, “Take your pills?” 

“Forgot.” James muttered guiltily, “Oh Godric.” She whispered. 

“Pills?”

“James went to a muggle doctor this summer.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow, “Did you now?”

“Got diagnosed with ADHD.” James informed, and Remus looked amiss, “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that.” Remus said, and James smiled sheepishly, “I feel kinda odd, like out of place.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, just, why can't I be normal?”

“You are normal, James.” Y/n reassured, “And anyone who says differently obviously doesn’t care about you.”

The compartment door slammed open, “Who doesn’t care about who?”

Remus snorted, “Ever the dramatics, huh, mate?”

“‘Course.” Sirius flopped down beside James, “It comes with my charm and devilishly good looks.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/n said, chuckling, “Don’t you see how I’m swooning for you?”

The back of her palm was against her forehead, “Come off it.” James swatted at her and then elbowed Sirius, “Better not make my sister swoon.”

Sirius chuckled and shrugged, “Can’t help it. I’m just that irresistible.”

The four of them laughed at Sirius’ dramatics and continued talking about the new term. Remus and Y/n were talking about books they couldn’t wait to read. Remus was even kind enough to gift her some muggle books he bought over the summer holiday. Sirius and James bickered about what pranks to do this year, along with which ones were better. 

Third-year was fun. It was a year of flooding corridors, turning Slytherin robes red and blasting music in the common room after a Gryffindor victory. James was a brilliant Quidditch Chaser, and Y/n was a fantastic Seeker. Nothing was quite like the Potter pair. Something about them was just unforgettable. 

Maybe that’s why Sirius was so fond of her. Something about the Potters made people around them smile on the hardest of days. They made sure that every moment was a night to remember. Every memory was worth reliving. So adventurous, so reckless, yet so kind and loving. 

By the time fifth year rolled around, Sirius Orion Black had fallen off a cliff into a lake called love. Sirius completely submerged himself in love for Y/n Potter. The younger twin by just 20 minutes, but something about her was so divine. Was it her silk and glittering h/c hair? No - maybe it was her gleaming e/c eyes. Perhaps it was for her strive for adventure and extreme kindness. 

Nonetheless, Sirius fell hard.

And who better to tell than James Potter himself?

Causally - as usual - Sirius opened the door to the Marauders dorm. It was empty aside from the brunet boy with glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes were focused on a textbook - Potions textbook - maybe it was to impress Lily. Sirius couldn’t care less, so he pulled the chair out in front of the desk and sat before James. 

“Mate, I need your help.”

“Running from Filch?”

“No. Something- Something worse.”

“Something worse?” The textbook shut loudly.

Sirius nodded, “Way worse.”

“Alright then, come into my office.” James teased, and Sirius grinned. 

It was silent, “I’m in love with your sister.”

James sputtered, “Excuse me?”

“I’m in love with Y/n.”

“No, no.” James waved his hand horizontally, “I heard you.”

“Then what else would you like me to say?” Sirius asked. 

“Literally anything else.”

“Sorry, mate.” Sirius muttered, “I- I really didn’t mean to.”

James chuckled and wiped his hand across his face, “I suppose you can’t really stop love, huh?”

“You really can’t.” Sirius agreed, “I tried. I promise I tried.”

“It’s not that big of a deal late.” James assured, and Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, “I trust you just-“

“Just?”

“I’m worried about her.” James completed, “I- I worry about her every night.”

Sirius softened, “It’s like you with Regulus-“ James continued before Sirius could interject, “And don’t pretend. Your silencing charms are bloody terrible.”

“I know you still care for Regulus, you worry about him every night, and I do the same for Y/n, except my silencing charms are better.” James teased sightly, “I trust you, Sirius. You’re the brother I never got but always wanted. You know, the brother I can play Quidditch with, rough around with, the brother who’s just as sneaky and mischievous as I.”

“But Y/n is still my blood. She's my twin, my best friend, my partner in crime. She was the mind behind my pranks before Remus.” James elaborated and then smirked, “Remus and Y/n make a great team, ya’ know?”

“They are quite brilliant.”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, take care of her?” James looked like the eleven-year-old boy again, “Don’t make her a fling and don’t make this temporary.”

“Y/n is a strong woman, and she isn’t for weak men. I’ll be honest,” James chuckled, “She doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even really need me. I need her more than she needs me. Regardless, take care of her. She deserves a man worthy of her. Someone that’ll get her ice cream at 4 a.m. because she’s craving it. Someone that’ll go on sporadic trips with her. Someone that’ll understand that after a hard day, all she wants is a book and coffee.”

Sirius was appalled; he’d never seen James look so passionate, “Growing up, mum always told me to be a gentleman. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but she always raised me as one. To hold a door for them, push and push in their chairs for them, give them my jacket even if I’ll freeze.” 

“Those kinda things. Dad said I should practice on Y/n, and I did. From then, Y/n always got treated like a queen, and she deserves no less. I won't lie, my parents treat me like a king too, and I don’t want any less either.” James explained, “Be the king that’s worthy of my sister.”

“That’s all I ask of you.”

Sirius nodded, “I’d be honored to serve her as my queen.”

“And if you show her no less, she’ll spit you out like chewing gum.”

He shuttered, “I hate how accurate that phrase is.”

James laughed, “I know her more than you think.”

By sixth year they were dating. Sirius would be lying if he wasn’t eternally shitting himself when Y/n said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him, alone, as a date. In fact, James almost wanted to throw him a party for finally not being a little bitch and asking out his sister. This party consisted of a bottle of firewhiskey and chocolate because that’s all that was in the boy's dormitory. But a party nonetheless. 

When Lily rejected James for the last time before graduation, he was utterly heartbroken. He’d spent and dedicated seven years of his life to this gorgeous woman. Despite all his efforts and all his charms, she still wasn’t interested. James tried. He really tried. He wanted Lily so bad. His heart broke when she said her final words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Maybe in another life, just not this one.”

Tears had ebbed at the corner of his eyes as he made his way back into the castle from the Black Lake. In the common room, where he felt like he had just got dowsed in water. James made his way to the girl's dormitory. His hand curled into a fist and knocked lightly on the wooden door. Shuffling was heard from the other side, and the door finally opened, revealing his sister. 

Without warning, James crashed into her arms, forcing his nose in the crook of her neck, “Woah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

His body shook with sobs as he shook his head no, “It’s okay. Let’s go lay down, okay?”

Gently she led him to her bed. He curled up beneath the navy blue comforter and placed his head on the silk pillow sheets. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the way Lily’s hair smelt today or the way her green eyes glistened in the sun. Now engulfed in his sister's scent, trying to remove every feeling for Lily possible, he dug his nose deeper into the comforter. 

Y/n sat beside him, her back to the headboard, and ran her fingers through James’ already untied hair, “What's got you so worked up?”

“It’s done.”

“What’s done?”

“L- Lily and I.” James choked, “She- She really doesn’t want me.”

A new wave of tears overcame him, and Y/n continued to try and soothe him, “Well, she’s a tosser.”

James narrowed his eyes, “James, you know I love her. She's my best friend, but if she can’t see what’s right in front of her, then she’s an idiot.”

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay at your dorm?” Y/n questioned, “Because you know who sleeps here.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Till the end.”

After a couple of minutes, Y/n and James made their way down the steps to the boy's side. They walked up more steps and finally made it to the boy's dormitory. James collapsed on his bed in the left corner of the room, and Sirius perked up at seeing his girlfriend enter the room. 

“Whatcha doin’ here, love?”

“Staying with my brother.”

Sirius nodded and stood up to hug her, gently pecking her forehead, “If you guys need anything, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Siri.” 

Gently Y/n pulled back the maroon curtain and sat down beside him again. James reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Something they used to do as kids. When a thunderstorm would go by, James would always seek sanctuary in his sister's comfort. 

He fell asleep that night, knowing he was safe, loved, and knew that someone cared about him. Even if Lily didn’t love him, at least someone else did. He had his boys, and he had his sister. Right now, that’s all he needed beside him: Screw Lily and her idiot decision skills. Y/n was right; she was a complete tosser. 

When Hogwarts was over, James and Y/n got a flat together. Sirius, Remus, and Peter got one only a floor above. Realistically this wasn’t the plan. James always planned to buy a house with Lily, but he was still healing, and after everything going on, it was vital for him to hold his sister close to him.

Euphemia and Fleamont barely lived to see their children graduate. Not too long afterward had died due to the horrid dragon pocks. It devastated both twins and Sirius. While Sirius wasn’t their true child, he very well could’ve. Euphemia noticed Sirius’s lingering stares on Y/n and the loopy smile that graced his features.

She was the one who got Sirius to man up. She was the one who gave him advice. She was the one who told him what books were her favorite, which chocolate she liked the best, her favorite quills. Euphemia was one of the main components in getting Sirius to date her daughter, and when it finally happened, the parents couldn’t have been happier.

James’ ADHD still remained even in his adulthood, making regular everyday tasks much harder and twice as long. Most of the time, the pills were able to help him complete those tasks. But sometimes, when Y/n wasn’t there to remind him, he would miss his days. When Y/n got home from work, she had barely taken off her shoes to see the apartment spotless.

It was a pleasant surprise, but James was never really one to clean, not that she really minded, but the apartment didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Hesitantly she put her keys on the island along with her bag.

“James!”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He appeared in the kitchen where Y/n was, “Um, did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, I did!” James nodded enthusiastically.

Y/n sighed and gave her brother a sweet smile, “What did you not do today?”

“So, you know how you told me to go to the pharmacy?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Indeed I do.”

“Well, they were out of my meds.” James informed, “I have to wait a week.”

“Oh, Merlin.”

“On the bright side!” James was already causing her a headache, “It’s gonna be a fantastic week! I’ve got so many things planned for us! We’re gonna go-“

James continued to ramble as Y/n grabbed her keys, bag and slipped back on her shoes, “I’m going to Sirius’!”

“Thought you were my sister.” James faked pouting, and Y/n smiled, “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“I love you too!” He yelled as she closed the door.