#but less now

[wisteria-html]

Ok. I’m going to start by saying that I’m ignoring everything that happened after this, because Birdie and Chris are my friends and I worry it would color this interaction. So. For the moment I am only considering this specific post for my response.

To start, thank you for apologizing. I accept it but as I said I can’t forgive you yet. I want to and I will work towards it but I’m not there yet. Nonetheless you saying that means a lot to me, and I accept your apology.

I have been acting excessively vitriolic and I’ve admitted that. I believe multiple times, though I don’t have the energy to go back and check. It’s not entirely your fault. The way you left suddenly without a true goodbye genuinely triggered me about something that happened a few months ago in my personal life. More than anything it was a shock, I thought I was safe here with all of you and suddenly it was happening again. I was at a Christmas party talking about what had happened a few months ago when I got the notification from Chris telling me you left. I know you tried to say goodbye, but I never saw it. I didn’t even get to hear it from you. Since then I’ve watched you hurt my friends (whether you meant to or not) and that just made me more angry. I’ll admit I wasn’t being entirely fair. I’m not used to being angry. I don’t know how to deal with it. If I’ve been excessively harsh I’m genuinely sorry. I just didn’t know how else to deal with this.

You’re right. You were able to be contacted. It didn’t seem like you wanted to, though, and I wasn’t going to push. A few months ago I was told to never contact who I thought was my best friend again. I got an impersonal goodbye and a boundary set. That day I decided not to beg people to have me in their life. I refuse to beg people to care about me. That’s what it felt like. And I didn’t have the energy to follow you down whatever hole you were digging yourself. Whether that’s accurate or not is up for debate, but that’s how I was viewing things in the moment.

That’s also why I was hesitant to step in with the hag, by the way. With the book, before I was cursed you knew I cared about you and wanted you around. You could assume the change in behavior was due to the curse. With you, I genuinely didn’t know whether you were enchanted or not because you left before you met her. I had no idea whether you wanted my help and again, I was not going to push. I’m sorry if that made you lose faith in me. I just couldn’t do that to myself.

Deleting that tumblr blog was a lot actually. I feel like you’re minimizing it and I can’t tell if that’s accidental or not. In deleting that, you deleted all evidence of a lot of our interactions, as well as half of our conversations (in the tags). It was like suddenly you and our past was completely inaccessible. All I had was what I had reblogged and even that was unfinished. Not only did you take yourself from me, you took a lot of the memories of you too. That’s your choice, I get it. But it did hurt more than you think.

Finally, I disagree with your last point. Sure if friends never trust each other then it won’t work, but there is absolutely space to rebuild broken trust in a friendship. I don’t know if that’s the route we’re heading (not because I hate you or am still furious, just other factors), but it is possible. I truly believe that. I think that anything can be rebuilt, even if it takes a while to be as strong as it was before. Sometimes it’s better to cut losses, but other times it’s worth it.

I wanna explain where my head is at for a bit now. It feels mean to say I don’t trust you, but I think it’s true. I wish it wasn’t, but every time we talk I’m so scared you’re going to leave without a trace again. If I open myself up to you and it happens again I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Not the way it happened before, without real closure. When I say I wouldn’t be able to handle it, I mean it: I think I would genuinely leave this little community. Certainly for longer than two weeks. And it’s not entirely your fault I feel this way, but right now my interactions with you are colored by my fear. Fear that it will all be for nothing in the end.

I think I still love you. I know I still care about you. I know I miss you. I hope you feel the same about me. I think that at this point we just both have to think about where we’re heading and if those paths are aligned or if they’re diverging.

Mavis,

I don't regret punching your nerd face, and I will do it again. Birdie, I'm unhappy with you, you rushed into something stupid, and took all my friends with you and then blamed me for your actions. As far as I'm concerned we are not on good terms. You knew Chris shouldn't have exposed himself to the cult and you were a bad friend and family member. You also enabled the killing of countless innocents with Alex. Wisteria, I am sorry for abandoning you, it was heat of the moment and it was the wrong choice. But, I told everyone where I went the day of, and you've acted excessively vitriolic towards me. I was not unable to be contacted, I deleted a tumblr blog. I still stand by the idea that if both parties are unable to trust each other, we can not meaningfully be friends. Chris,

I was deeply hurt by your actions, but I also acted selfishly and dramatically. It wasn't your fault birdie acted rashly, you were just trying to help your (stupid) family. The bog thing was bad, and the hag thing isn't an excuse. I want to make it up to you, and I've missed you this whole time. I understand that I've been bad to you, but I also want to say, a lot of it was not intended to be cruel. I am... kind of stupid. I hope I can make it up to you one day. Alexandria, Fuck you Alex.

[ultraweirdgirl13]

AHHHHHHHHHH

PHINEAS AND FERB IS GETTING TWO MORE SEASONS!!!

THAT SHOW WAS MY CHILDHOOD! IM SO EXCITED!!!

[heph]

Yall ever think about how Ford had to relearn how to be a normal human being after 30 years of isolation

[rivetgoth]

It's honestly crazy that discussion around testosterone HRT skews so much towards the beginning stages of it (to the point that you have dozens of guys thinking their transition is "failed" if they don't pass by like a year in lol) and what the initial changes of the first couple of months to years look like, like the classic laundry list of those early basic changes like bottom growth, voice drop, etc, when IMO literally none of that compares remotely to the depth and intensity of the long term total masculinization you start to experience like 3-5+ years in.

[beemochi-art]

Did you hear Elon wants to buy Hasbro?

[atalana]

the curse of adhd:

i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text

i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[cardo-de-comer]

the devil you know

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

[bisclavaret]

a day late to my 6 years on t anniversary ✨🏳️‍⚧️ a short comic about looking back

[corviiids]

my top bit of advice going into the new year: compliment people. especially strangers. literally everyone you interact with if you can. when you buy coffee in the morning compliment the barista's tattoos. when you're chatting with a coworker tell them that by the way you like their outfit. always find something they've chosen to do on purpose. nail polish, jewellery, tattoos, hair colour/style, statement accessory, outfit, etc are all good bets. things people hope will be noticed. things that aren't too personal so it doesn't make them uncomfortable (eg probably not their physical features). i've gotten into the habit of scanning everyone i talk to for something about them that i think is cool so i can tell them. it's a great habit because it makes me notice people and realise just how many neat little details there are in people's presentation of themselves that might pass me by if i wasn't paying attention. and it brings out so much joy. you'd be surprised how much it disarms people to receive an unexpected compliment from someone they don't know. it is the most sincere smile you will see all day long. it feels nice to make people happy but it also means you win the social interaction. establish dominance by complimenting a stranger's earrings and disappearing into the fog

[grantwilson]

we are discussing our childhood passions on the dash tonight

[starii-void]

going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with

-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)

-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)

-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)

-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)

-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)

-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)

-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)

-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran

-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy

-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre

-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever

[wyverndragonborn]

Yk

I think my writing has come a long way

I feel really good about myself rn

And really really bad about my past self but that's honestly nothing new lmao

Ofc I don't post a lot of my writing here but just thoughts, yk

[hira492]

I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY LIFE

[ando666detonao]

don't you ever read a piece of fanfiction so good you just